#more like drugged poets society

[sanegreen]

my biology teacher told us that hallucinogenic drugs have an effect on people due to which they can "see sound and hear colors" but my sister in christ, that's what poets are and do

[scientia-rex]

What is this show?

Sports Night was, in many ways, the prequel to The West Wing: Aaron Sorkin’s short-lived show about the people behind a sports show, ESPN-inspired because he had been watching a lot of ESPN at the time. The two anchors, Dan and Casey, have the kind of chemistry that made my sister (who was never into fandom even a little) say mere seconds after walking in to the room, “They’re kind of gay, aren’t they?” Dan is played by Josh Charles, who you may know from The Dead Poets Society or perhaps The Good Wife; the show originally aired in 1998-2000, so he is just a little baby here. Casey is played by Peter Krause, who you may know from that new fireman show (911?) or Six Feet Under. They are huge goobers and very bangable. Excellent grist for the shipping mill.

You have a rich cast of characters, though—there is the show’s producer Dana, who is insane like all the best Sorkin women; the executive producer Isaac, who is lovable and grumpy and full of wisdom; the neurotic nerd Jeremy; the assistant producer Natalie, a tiny pint of spitfire. There are toothsome villains like Sally Sasser, who’s gunning for Dana’s job, but the eternal enemy is The Suits, the corporate types who want the show to be profitable above all else.

Season One is great. It’s magical. In Season Two, Sorkin started doing a lot of drugs again and was also starting West Wing so the writing and characterization suffered horribly. However, there are still some moments that demand confrontation and reconciliation with the canon as a whole, and I find the whole dynamic fascinating. Sorkin can’t write women for shit because to him, all women are crazy bitches and who knows why they do what they do—but he still manages to construct appealing people out of them, until he lets it all collapse like soggy tissue paper in Season Two.

The acting is brilliant. The writing is hilarious. (Until partway into Season Two.) Josh Charles is, in my opinion, the narrative heart of it—his pain and fear and hitherto undiagnosed anxiety disorder anchor the story in a way that Casey’s will-they-won’t-they with Dana can’t, because of Sorkin’s shortcomings in writing women.

I loved the show when it initially aired, bought the DVDs when they were released even though I didn’t have money—because back then we didn’t have the option of finding videos on the Internet, so it was the only answer to years of not being able to watch it. I’ve watched it several times over the years, Season One much more than Season Two. I’ve made three vids, written a slew of stories, and the longest one is a 70,000 word epic exploring how therapy might help someone like Casey actually be happy instead of a miserable bastard (“A Form in Wax,” available on AO3).

I love this brief, flawed show. I love it even though Felicity Huffman, who played Dana, turned out to be part of that scandal a few years back where rich parents paid to get their kids into prestigious schools for “sports” that they didn’t even play. I love it even though I had to stop following Joshua Messina, who played Jeremy, on Twitter years ago because his bitter, angry, often sexist takes kept bothering me more and more. None of the people are perfect. The writing isn’t perfect. But the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.

[sunnysam-my]

Dark Academia is a subculture and it isn't problematic, just misunderstood.

I am so tired of people that aren't a part of this community shitting on dark academia literally any time it gains popularity again, claiming that it's pretentious, elitist and racist. It's not problematic, at least not in a way most people criticise it for.

What all of those people don't seems to understand is that there's the dark academia aesthetic and there is the dark academia the subculture. Even when they do understand they still put people who are only interested in the fashion and overall vibe together with people who are dark academia.

Why is dark academia a subculture?

First let's start with what even subculture is?

It's a cultural group within a larger culture, often sharing a collection of values, beliefs, rituals and traditions. Despite what many believes, it doesn't have to have any connection to music, like Star Trek and Star Wars fans, but there's no need for having a shared fandom at all, like the gays, bikers and youth.

Participation in the dark academia subculture is not limited to following a specific set of fashion. It suggest preferred activities, hobbies, philosophies and lifestyles. The focus is on reading and expanding one’s horizons, on becaming the best version of oneself no matter the cost, especially by engaging in classical literature, history, foreign languages, mythology, art and philosophy. On top of that DA is actually connected to certain music (classical and neoclassical) and fandoms.

The (incorrect) criticisms:

1. One of the more common criticisms of dark academia is that of its superficiality and pretentiousness – that it is more a fetishisation of intellectual life than real intellectual life. "Instead of being a reading society, it's a Dead Poets Society cosplay." This is just simply untrue. Yes, there are people who are purely here for the aesthetic and vibes, but they aren't part of the subculture. People who are genuinely part of this community do read all those books, write poetry, journal e.t.c regularly and try to be well educated.

2. The money issue. Now this is where it gets funny. Dark academia is often called classist and racist because of it's "idealised vision of the academic lifestyle in which the money is simply there". Obviously in places where higher education is strictly financially driven studying is a bitch. Nowadays there are even a lot of doctors who are homeless, especially in US. But DA is mainly a European thing, and in a lot of EU countries studying isn't that expensive, it's not cheap either (books costs a lot and not working doesn't help), but you don't need to pay for a good education, you need to study hard and compete with others to get good education.

This however is not a dark academia problem. It's a harsh reality. One that we need to fight with. Getting higher education shouldn't make you get into a debt. It shouldn't make you sacrifice social life for studying all your life only to end on the streets.

3. "Eurocentric obsession". This is so dumb I don't even know to say. How can you possibly call people, mostly from Europe, problematic for being fascinated by Europe's history, it's past culture, Greek mythology, mostly European philosophers (but American too), Latin that is still fucking taught at many schools here, etc. All of things are taught in schools here. There is nothing wrong with you being obsessed with Asian royalty and making it part of your personality, but God forbid, you, a white person, are obsessed with the best parts of your history and culture 🙄.

4. Another criticism of dark academia is that it encourages unhealthy behaviour, both physically (caffeine overconsumption, smoking, drugs) and mentally (perfectionist, constant competition). The pursuit of perfection comes at a price. The entire idea of DA is to study as hard as possible so you can reach enlighten. It's workaholism, except it's school, not work. Now this is why I think dark academia isn't problematic in a way people think, but is misunderstood.

A melancholic comforting dream

It's easy to understand why people think DA is unhealthy or fake. Nights spent studying, writing essays for hours on end, drowning in books and writing excessive notes. For many this sounds like a nightmare, but dark academia romanticise it. It see it as the true joy of university life. At the same time there's taking joy in reflecting on what is irretrievably lost, pessimistic and melancholic.

In reality most people in this community are overworked neurodivergent, usually twice exceptional, youth who struggles mentally. So many people are twice exceptional and it's very obvious. The hyperfixetions, the love for linguistics and humanities, the hate of math.

For many Dark Academia is a coping method.

Staples of dark academia fiction explore intellectualism, classic literature and self-discovery, but also the struggle of fighting for your identity, the way humans are shaped by their trauma, the way they destroy themselves to be better. The word "dark" in Dark Academia is primarily about those dark sides of the human nature, not just the dark colours of the DA aesthetic.

If you think that Dead Poets Society romanticised suicide or Kill Your Darlings academicly motivated drug use then you're the crazy one here. People loved those movies, because of how relatable they were, even the suffering.

Studying is a bitch. If you make it fun then you are less depressed about the fact that you don't have the choice to not study all night. It's not just nostalgia for what you haven't experienced, but what you have to endure all your youth. Some people are forced to study to be the very best and sacrifice their (social) lives, because the system is so broken, but if you can make it into your own, comforting, time - it's better. Sure, the movies and books have lots of harmful copying mechanism, but irl (or in this case online) this community encourages healthy methods like reading, making art, journaling, acting etc.

I do think there's a lot of to talk about when it comes to, for example, sexism, and I do agree DA needs more diversity than just white cis man, but like I said, it's not problematic in a way most people criticise it for.

[yellowroseswrites]

yo. so i just saw that spencer x reader you wrote featuring an ED. i was wondering if maybe you could write it as an imagine/one shot/whatever but from a different perspective? im struggling with losing weight unintentionally due to drug use and its starting to scare me. last time i was this thin i did have an ED. so would you be able to do one where the reader is just as concerned as spencer about their weight loss? maybe he helps find foods that work for them, encourages them to eat, etc? id love it of spence were cheering me on to finish a bowl of cereal (⋟﹏⋞)

"One more bite?"

Spencer Reid x Reader

Author's notes - {I have quite literally no clue if this is good or accurate, but I did my very best. I did a little research but I still wrote it very vague to avoid as much invalidating as possible. I hope this brings at least a little comfort, and my apologies for any and all inaccuracies}

TW- {Plenty of eating talk, reader eats, Spencer eats, they eat cereal, milk is mentioned, past eating issues are mentioned but barely, Pulp Fiction is mentioned, probably inaccuracies about movies, Dead Poets Society mention, there's a 420 joke but it's from Spencer so it's not really said as a joke, Autistic Spencer Reid, but that's just how I write him,not proofread, if there's any more lmk! love you all please eat some food and drink some water lovelies <3}

“I’m not hungry.”

God, it sounded so sad on your tongue. You wished you could just eat, you really did. You weren’t like you used to be, you didn’t want to be like this. You just wanted to eat.

Spencer’s face fell, but only a bit. He was used to this by now to, your body working against you. Your body craved things that would destroy it, but it refused to accept the things it needed, like food. It was scary for you, and it was positively horrifying for Spencer. He was watching you fight back, but wither away anyway, and he hated it.

"I know you aren't, but it's important that you eat it."

You groaned in annoyance. You knew Spencer was helping, but it was the same thing you've heard over and over again.

Reid seemed to think a bit before moving again, this time pouring milk into his own bowl before putting away the milk and the cereals, (fruit loops for you and raisin bran for him, which he insists helps him remember things during cases).

He came back to his bowl and started eating in front of you, "You like Tarantino movies right?"

"Uh, some of them, why?"

While you spoke he took a bite of his food, signaling with his spoon for you to do the same. Once you grabbed your spoon, he spoke again.

"Did you know that almost every clock in Pulp fiction is set to 4:20? Some people have said that they only have 2 scenes where they are set differently, but to be honest I've never seen it so I wouldn't know."

"Wait a minute," You said, "You have never seen Pulp Fiction?"

"That's what you got from that?"

"Who hasn't seen Pulp Fiction? It's a classic!" You took another bite of the cereal.

"That's what you said about Dead Poets Society." Spencer replied.

To be fair, he had read the book. He knew everything that would happen, it was definitely not your fault he spent the whole time pointing out things they got wrong. You simply nodded your head at his reply, messing with the fruit loops left spinning in your bowl.

"Wanna take one more bite for me?" 

There was barely any left in the bowl, half of you wanted to fight back, and half knew it was stupid and that Reid wanted the same thing you did. You took the bite and slid the bowl over to him, which he quickly took with his to the sink. 

"Ok," You stood up from your seat at the table, "We are totally going to watch it now."

Spencer giggled at your excitement, walking over to you and kissing your forehead. "Uh-hu. Go turn it on, I'll be in in a second."

 

You turned to walk over to the couch when Reid stopped you again, 

"And hey, I'm proud of you."

He gave you a quick smile before you walked off again, and his smile only grew as he washed your empty bowl.

[sourcherryandsprinkles]

THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT (part 1/2)

I was planning to do a more in dept review of each songs, but there is so many (31!!!) that I decided to write smaller thoughts instead...and cut it in half. Part 2: The Anthology will be posted tomorrow. Please share your thoughts, I love talking with other swifties <3

* = current favorites

Fortnight : I didn’t know what to expect with this Post Malone feature, but I like it. I love you, it's ruining my life is so relatable. On another note, I love the music video. It’s so aesthetically pleasing to watch. It gives Poor Things vibes and stars Ethan Hawke and Josh Charles, who were both in the 1989 movie Dead poet society. 

The tortured poets department : I like some parts of the bridge, but will need a deeper listen 

My boy only break his favorite toys * : Did not expect this one to be so catchy. 

Down bad : Vibes. Sadness. Vibes. 

So long, London : There are so many sad lines in this track — as always with Track 5s. The bridge. 

But daddy I love him : Is this song about us? I’m having his baby. No I’m not, but you should see your faces! She is so unserious <3

Fresh out the slammer : The opening gives Lana vibes

Florida!!! : I was excited about Florence Welch's feature the same way I was with Lana on Midnights. I’m getting the same drugs she put in Maroon sound wise. 

Guilty as sin? : This one is for the Dress girlies

Who’s afraid of little old me * : Rep coded. Mad woman's sister. A favorite on the album <3

I can fix him (no really I can) : No one can fix this man Taylor, it’s been years. Also, it’s the shortest song on the record. It didn’t need to be longer for her to understand she couldn’t fix him *laughs*

loml : The transition from love of my life to loss of my life…I’m not crying, you are. This breakup was possibly the hardest for her, which you can feel in this song. 

I can do it with a broken heart * : The chorus is so glitter gel pen! 

The smallest boy who ever lived : She surprised us with who it’s about. 

The Alchemy : I was looking forward to Travis songs and this one did not disappoint. All the signs pointing to football and him. The trophy line! Screaming. I love it!

Clara Bow : The different icons (Clara Bow, Stevie Nicks, and herself) being used to put into a picture how her future would have turned out if she had stayed with each different man. With Joe, she would be Clara Bow and have to leave the music industry. With Matty, she’d be Stevie Nicks in 75 — performing but also on a lot of drugs (if you know him, you know). And lastly, post Joe/Matty, and with Travis, she is finally able to be herself.

[rrcenic]

dead poets society as things my friends/family have said

huge trigger warning for discussion of suicide

-

neil: fuck fuck fuck

todd: what’s wrong?

neil: my workload was too much so i switched from honors algebra 2 to regular algebra 2 and i don’t know how to tell my dad

todd: you’re still two years ahead in math though

neil: yeah but my dad gets so mad when i don’t take every academic opportunity i can

todd: dude you just got out of the psych ward. i think he’ll understand!

neil: hhhhngg

-

neil: bro i didn’t even realize i had daddy issues til i became unnaturally infatuated with my english teacher

-

cameron: greetings fellow fraternity males. i am not working for your landlord and i simply want to hang out with fellow “dudes.” on an unrelated note are any of you in possession of illegal drugs and/or alcohol?

knox: yeah check under the chair

cameron: alright “broski” i will be simply taking photos of this not for reporting reasons and for personal reasons

pitts: do you have like a fetish or something

cameron: yes um a fetish i am not working for your landlord

-

todd: oh he’s so pretty! it’s so sad that he killed himself

todd: i mean obviously because like. killing yourself is never the answer

todd: but mainly because he was so pretty!!

-

charlie: i call this poem “every day i wake up and dream of olive garden”

-

meeks: this is literally the most autistic group i’ve ever been in and i love it

neil: oh i’m neurodivergent in many ways but the ‘tisim is surprisingly not one of them

-

charlie: shakespeare sucks ass

neil: i will stab you

-

neil: i can’t hang out today, i have therapy

pitts: you? therapy? but you’re so happy!

neil: …

neil: i’ve tried to kill myself like 5 times

pitts: WHAT

neil: did. did you not know that?!?!

-

knox: hey dyou wanna watch a tv show with me

neil: what’s it about?

knox: there’s lots of pretty women

neil: …

knox: …

neil: …

knox: and pretty men

neil: i’m in

-

charlie: america is fucked. our society is literally being ripped apart by capitalism. trans people are being criminalized more every day

knox: it’s not that bad

charlie: name one good thing that has happened to the trans community in the past year. i’ll wait

knox: …

knox: well um some politicians support trans people

charlie: THATS NOT ENOUGH

-

keating: *texting to the group chat* so technically since most of you are my former students i’m not allowed to be friends with you

keating: but you all rock so my excuse is we work on creative projects as a group outside of school

keating: however i can’t just chat with you when you’re bored

*that night*

todd: hey i’m really sorry for contacting you about non creative stuff but i just had a panic attack and don’t know what to do

keating: oh that bullshit? nah man you’re fine text whenever

-

cameron: charlie just gave me this plastic spoon and ran away does anyone know what it means

gloria: lucky i wish nuwanda had given ME the spoon

cameron: WHAT DOES IT MEAN

-

neil: i know what we’re gonna do after group therapy. we’re gonna have a poetry contest. we’ll call it psych ward poetry. i’m going to beat all of you with my mad poetry skills

-

meeks: oh and pooh represents… hm, i actually can’t remember

charlie: google it

meeks: yeah but we can’t have our phones

knox: hey mr mcallister? could you use your phone to google what mental illness the winnie the pooh characters represent?

mcallister: what the actual hell are you talking about

[kaiwildcr]

・     𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑟𝑜𝑑𝑢𝑐𝑖𝑛𝑔   . . .   𝐊𝐀𝐈  𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐃𝐄𝐑.

❛ playing with fire in the twilight , wandering home . . . trouble - bound , 𝐃𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐋 swept me off my feet . ( i was numb . ) nothing brings me back to life like walking out into the firing line . call it lust or losing sight , nothing brings me back to 𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄 . . . ❜

・   ⏤   quick  links   :   pinterest   +   playlist   .

・     𝐁𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐂  𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍.

name   :   kyle  wilder  .   nicknames   :   kai  .   age   :   twenty - seven  .   gender  /  pronouns   :   cismale  &  he / him  .   hometown   :   lincoln city  ,  oregon  .   career   :  aspiring   pro  skater / extreme  sports  athlete  + freelance .   positive  traits   :   spontaneous  ,  charismatic  ,  curious  ,  free   spirited  &  independent  .   neutral  traits   :   realistic  ,  sarcastic  ,  stubborn  ,  curious  &  impulsive  .   negative  traits   :   destructive  ,  closed  off  ,  manipulative  ,  selfish  &  pessimistic .

𝐄𝐗𝐓𝐑𝐀   ,

𝑝ℎ𝑦𝑠𝑖𝑐𝑎𝑙  𝑎𝑡𝑡𝑟𝑖𝑏𝑢𝑡𝑒𝑠   ;

hair  color   :   brown   (   will  dye  it  at  any  moment  if  he  gets  bored   )  .   eye  color  :   blue  .   height  :   six  foot  ,  two  inches  .   tattoos  :   currently  25  various  tattoos  .   piercings   :   2  ,  both  lobes   but usually only wears one .   faceclaim  :   drew  starkey  .

𝑚𝑖𝑠𝑐   ;

artists  streamed  :   nirvana  ,  rage  against  the  machine  ,  badflower  ,  soundgarden  ,  alice  in  chains  ,  pearl  jam  ,  led  zeppelin  ,  metallica  ,  audioslave  ,  beastie  boys  ,  boston  manor  ,  cleopatrick  ,  bad  omens  ,  joey  valence  &  brae  ,  bring  me  the  horizon  ,  dead  poet  society  ,  royal  blood  ,  the  pale  white  ,  radiohead  ,  nothing  but  thieves  ,  grandson  ,  system  of  a  down  ,  korn  ,  tool  ,  finger  eleven  ,  foo  fighters  . . .  and  many  many  more  .

・     𝐁𝐔𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐓  𝐏𝐎𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐒.

𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑜𝑛𝑎𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑦  𝑐ℎ𝑒𝑐𝑘   …

kai  wilder  ,  more  known  as  an  agent  of  chaos  some  would  say  . . .  that  some  being  me  . . .  i'm  the  one  .  it's  very  hard  for  kai  to  feel  settled  ,  always  needing  some  sort  of  rush  or  adrenaline  .  that  mostly  leading  into  him  getting  himself  into  some  sort  of  trouble  along  the  way  .  he'll  never  admit  to  anything  actually  going  on  with  him  and  claim  he's  just  trying  to  have  a  little  fun  .  even  though  ,  there's  no  doubt  that  he  does  everything  he  does  because  of  the  chaos  that  swarms  inside  his  head  .  always  seeming  unserious  ,  kai  can  flip  around  in  his  moods  easily  .  one  second  he's  joking  around  and  the  next  he's  bored  and  flips  the  script  .  he's  very  unpredictable  in  a  lot  of  ways  . . .  then  again  ,  if  you  really  know  him  ,  you  probably  feel  his  unpredictable  chaotic  behavior  is  to  be  expected  .  underneath  it  all  ,  there's  just  a  very  lost  human  being  but  . . .  that's  a  secret  .  or  ,  he  thinks  so  .  he  could  be  very  high  energy  ,  mainly  because  he  needs  things  to  keep  moving  or  he'll  lose  his  mind  .  then  again  ,  i'm  pretty  sure  that  his  mind  is  already  lost  .  there's  a  lot  to  uncover  but  . . .  is  it  worth  it  ?  maybe  not  . . .  he's  not  a  bad  person  . . .  but  not  exactly  a  good  person  either  .  his  morals  a  little  lost  . 

!!!   𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐑  𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆  𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓   !!!   :   drugs  /  addiction     (    there's  a  tiny  mention  !  i  put  a  warning  before  it  starts  and  after  it's  over  !   )

kyle  wilder  or  as  he  likes  to  be  called  ,  kai  wilder  was  born  in  good  ole  lincoln city  ,  oregon  .  growing  up  in  his  small  family  of  four  .  then  again  ,  it  wasn't  much  of  a  family  to  begin  with  .  

kai's  mother  ,  kathy  wilder  felt  as  though  she  wasn't  living  the  life  she  was  meant  to  .  playing  pretend  and  trying  to  fit  in  with  every  other  country  club  wine  mom  .  not  understanding  why  she  couldn't  live  her  dreams  of  sitting  pool  side  gossiping  with  the  ladies  about  her  life  while  her  husband  played  golf  with  the  boys  .  alas  ,  things  didn't  come  that  easily  for  the  woman  .  her  idea  of  country  club  living  was  sitting  at  the  public  pool  with  a  box  of  wine  and  overpriced  sunglasses  .  trying  her  darnedest  to  ignore  the  screams  of  children  around  her  .

daddy  dearest  on  the  other  hand  was  too  distracted  with  his  own  issues  to  ever  really  involve  himself  .          (     TW   :   DRUGS  /  ADDICTION.     )         carter  wilder  wasn't  one  for  the  family  lifestyle  .  which  was  exactly  why  he  didn't  really  entertain  the  idea  .  it  didn't  matter  that  his  on  and  off  girlfriend  became  pregnant  twice  with  his  offspring  .  he  wasn't  interested  in  kids  or  marriage  .  the  only  thing  that  really  interested  him  was  getting  his  next  hit  .  whatever  hard  drug  he  could  get  his  hands  on  ,  that's  where  he  drifted  off  to  .  it  didn't  matter  where  it  took  him  ,  it  didn't  matter  if  he  was  off  the  radar  for  days  ,  months  or  years  . . .  that's  where  he'd  be  .         (      TW  CONCLUDED  !     )

that  left  kai's  brother  ,  christopher  wilder  .  only  older  slightly older  ,  the  two  got  along  relatively  well  for  how  dysfunctional  the  two  became  to  be later on  . but as kids . . . they were thick as thieves . they had to be , they were all each other had .  in  a  lot  of  ways  ,  chris  was  the  one  that  raised  the  both  of  them  .  but  as  life  goes  ,  things  change  and  kai  and  chris'  relationship  fell  apart  .  the  two  brother  not  really  having  anything  to  do  with  each  other  other than chris trying to pick up pieces of a broken family  .

as  for  kai  ,  he'd  never  really  felt  as  though  he  belonged  anywhere  .  never  feeling  as  if  anything  felt  quite  right  .  nowhere  ever  felt  like  home  to  the  male  causing  him  to  run  off  or  jump  from  place  to  place , even at a young age .   never  really  wanting  or  being  able  to  call  one  place  home  . even when chris would come running after him . telling him to come back , kai seemed to have a lot more of the not so great qualities of both their parents . although , if there was one person that could talk kai off the ledge , it was probably chris . . . sometimes .

the  only  thing  that  the  male  really  clicked  with  was  extreme  sports  . skateboarding , bmx , anything that got him flinging through the air or onto the ground .  there  was  something  about  the  adrenaline  and  the  constant  movement  that  kept  him  entertained  and  excited  .  although  ,  his  aspiring  career  hasn't  jet  off  just  yet in current years  ,  it  doesn't  stop  him  from  continuing  to  try  and  be  the  next  tony  hawk  or  big  bmx  guy  .

that  being  said  ,  he  needs  a  way  to  pay  for  the  random  places  he  finds  himself  .  working  any  jobs  he  could  get  his  hands  on  .  nevertheless  ,  most  of  the  poor  people  that  decide  to  hire  him  ,  regret  it  .  never  really  taking  anything  too  seriously  has  it's  downfalls  .

that being said , we're getting off topic . moving back to the day chris went missing . kai ran off , one of the many times . only this time it stuck . thinking he'd never find himself back in oregon . disconnecting from his family after they started their charities . putting up an act of this perfect little family that lost their beloved son . his father even marrying his mother for the looks of a decent father figure . kai didn't want anything to do with it . that and , he knew a lot more than he was letting on .

it wasn't until that dreadful message that kai found himself coming back . as much as kai want's to act like he doesn't care about any of it . . . he does . . . it is his brother after all . maybe he isn't the best person in the world , definitely not . . . but he is human . . .

there's  some  things  missing  ,  i'm  sure  !  but  for  now  ,  this  is  what  i  got  .  going  with  the  flow  as  i  figure  him  out  more  !  please  ,  have  this  trash  as  my  token  of  gratitude  .  and  i'm  sorry  you  had  to  endure  this  struggle  and  ramble  .

・     𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃  𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒.

𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝  :   i  currently  don't  really  have  anything  other  than  just  vibing  and  seeing  what  will  happen  !  but  i'll  update  this  when  things  start  flowing  in  my  head  .  always  down  to  brainstorm and plot  ! i'm always down for the most chaotic things , no limits !

i  do  have  a  section  in  his  pinterest  that  could  be  potential  ideas  for  some  plots  !  if  that  interests  you  !

・ 𝐓𝐀𝐊𝐄𝐍 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒.

𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 : his brother chris wilder .

[justforbooks]

With his shrewd eyes and his forks of corn-yellow hair, Julian Sands was a natural choice to play the valiant, romantic George Emerson, who snatches a kiss from Lucy Honeychurch (Helena Bonham Carter) in a Tuscan poppy field in A Room With a View (1985). “I wanted him to be real, not a two-dimensional minor screen god,” he said. “I liked him in his lighter, sexier moments, less so when he was brooding.”

Sands, who has died aged 65 while hiking in mountains in California, was dashing in that film, but he could also project a dandyish, effete or sinister quality. He was blessed with a mellifluous voice and a lean, youthful, fine-boned face, even if, as a child, his brothers insisted he resembled a horse. (He agreed.) In James Ivory’s film of EM Forster’s novel, he was pure heart-throb material. His participation in the notorious nude bathing scene was no impediment to the picture’s success.

Prior to that, he had played the journalist Jon Swain in The Killing Fields (1984), Roland Joffé’s drama about the bloody rise of the Khmer Rouge in Cambodia. The picture marked the beginning of his friendship with his co-star John Malkovich. “I’d been cautioned by Roland to keep my distance from John because he was an unstable character,” Sands recalled. “And John had been told by Roland to stay away from me, because I was a refined, sensible person who didn’t want to be distracted. In fact, we bonded instantly.”

Malkovich directed Sands in a one-man show in which he read Harold Pinter’s poetry. First staged in 2011, the production had its origins in an occasion six years earlier when Pinter, suffering from oesophageal cancer, had asked Sands to read in his stead at a benefit event in St Stephen Walbrook church in the City of London. The writer “sat in the front row with his stone basilisk stare”, Sands recalled.

Not all his work was so highfalutin, and a good deal of it fell into the category of boisterous, campy fun. In Ken Russell’s Gothic (1986), he played the poet Shelley, who indulges in sex, drugs and séances with Lord Byron (Gabriel Byrne) and the future Mary Shelley (Natasha Richardson), and is prone to recite verse naked in thunderstorms.

In a similar vein but far less deranged was Impromptu (1991), which brought together other notable 19th-century figures including George Sand (Judy Davis) and Frederic Chopin (Hugh Grant). Sands, who played Franz Liszt, described it as “Carry On Composer”.

Born in Otley, West Yorkshire, he was raised in Leeds and Gargrave, near Skipton; he later described his childhood as “part conservative and part Huckleberry Finn”. His mother, Brenda, was a Tory councillor and leading light of the local amateur dramatic society, while his father, William, who left when Julian was three, was a soil analyst. Julian made his acting debut in a local pantomime at the age of eight.

At 13, he won a scholarship to Lord Wandsworth college, Hampshire. He moved to London to study at Central School of Speech and Drama, and while there became friends with Derek Jarman. He played the Devil in an extended promotional video that Jarman directed in 1979 for Marianne Faithfull’s album Broken English. The role had been intended for David Bowie, who dropped out at the eleventh hour. “You’re devilish,” Jarman told Sands. “You can play it.”

The actor’s first film appearance came in an adaptation of Peter Nichols’s stage comedy Privates on Parade (1983), starring John Cleese and Denis Quilley, from which his one line of dialogue was cut. There was more rotten luck when he won the lead in a new Tarzan movie, only for the financing to fall through. It was eventually filmed as Greystoke: The Legend of Tarzan, Lord of the Apes (1984), with Christopher Lambert donning the hallowed loin-cloth.

On television, he starred with Anthony Hopkins in the miniseries A Married Man (1983). In Oxford Blues (1984), he was a rower butting heads with a Las Vegas parking attendant (Rob Lowe) who has tricked his way into a place at Oriel College. He was in The Doctor and the Devils (1985), inspired by the Burke and Hare case. “I had a roll in the hay with Twiggy which took about 15 takes,” he said.

Following A Room With a View, he agreed to play the lead in Ivory’s next Forster adaptation, Maurice (1987), before abruptly dropping out and fleeing to the US. In the process, he left behind his wife, the journalist Sarah Sands (nee Harvey), who described him as “restless” and “dramatic”, and their son, Henry. “I’m not the first person to create stability and security and then dismantle it even more effectively than I created it,” the actor said.

Once in America he took on an array of film parts. In Warlock (1989), he played the son of Satan, wreaking havoc in modern-day Los Angeles. Investing this pantomime villain with lip-smacking brio, he was likened by the Washington Post to a “hell-bent Peter Pan” and nominated for best actor in the Fangoria Chainsaw awards. He reprised the role in Warlock: The Armageddon (1993).

As an entomologist in Arachnophobia (1990), he was called upon to have as many as a hundred spiders crawling all over his face. Alternating these mainstream projects with arthouse ones, he played a diplomat in pre-war Poland in Krzysztof Zanussi’s Wherever You Are … (1988) and a monk in Night Sun (1990), the Taviani brothers’ adaptation of Tolstoy’s short story Father Sergius.

For the Canadian horror director David Cronenberg, he starred in the warped and witty Naked Lunch (1991), which disproved those who had declared William S Burroughs’s original novel unfilmable. Just as outré but less accomplished was Boxing Helena (1993), directed by Jennifer Lynch, daughter of David. Sands played a surgeon who keeps a woman captive by making her a quadruple amputee.

After starring as a young classics teacher in his friend Mike Figgis’s film of Terence Rattigan’s The Browning Version (1994), Sands worked a further six times with that director, appearing in his movies even when he was an unorthodox choice for the job in hand. One example was the part of a menacing Latvian pimp in Leaving Las Vegas (1996).

Later roles include a mysteriously unblemished Phantom in Dario Argento’s version of The Phantom of the Opera (1998), Louis XIV (whom Sands described as “the first supermodel”) in Joffé’s Vatel (2000), a crime kingpin named Snakehead in the Jackie Chan vehicle The Medallion (2003), a computer security wizard in the comic caper Ocean’s Thirteen (2007), a younger version of the businessman played by Christopher Plummer in David Fincher’s take on The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo (2011) and a sadistic paedophile in the gruelling wartime odyssey The Painted Bird (2019).

On television, he was a Russian entrepreneur in the fifth season of 24 (2006) and the hero’s father, Jor-El, in two episodes of the Superman spin-off Smallville (2009). For the BBC, he played two very different actors in factually based one-off specials: first Laurence Olivier in Kenneth Tynan: In Praise of Hardcore (2005), then John Le Mesurier in We’re Doomed! The Dad’s Army Story (2015).

His recent work includes Benediction, Terence Davies’s haunting study of Siegfried Sassoon, and the thriller The Survivalist (both 2021), which found him back in the company of Malkovich. One of several titles still awaiting release is the drama Double Soul (2023) starring F Murray Abraham and Paz Vega.

Sands never stopped wandering, walking, running and climbing. “I am on a perpetual Grand Tour,” he said in 2000. Asked in 2018 about his eclectic career, he explained: “I was looking for something exotic, things that took me out of myself. I think I found myself a little boring.”

He was reported missing while out in the San Gabriel mountains, north of Los Angeles, in mid-January 2023. His remains were found in June.

In 1990 he married Evgenia Citkowitz. She survives him, along with their two daughters, Imogen and Natalya, and his son.

🔔 Julian Richard Morley Sands, actor, born 4 January 1958; died circa 13 January 2023

Daily inspiration. Discover more photos at http://justforbooks.tumblr.com

[nihilizzzm]

TAG GAME

I was tagged by lovely @hippodameia , thank u sun 🤩

Nickname: i don’t have one, ppl use my name or some variations

Sign: oh fuck ok i will tell u, but it looks bad 💀 sun gemini, moon leo, rising virgo

Height: 169cm

The last thing i googled: the iconoclastic crisis in byzatine empire

Amount of sleep: not enough, like 3-5 a night (it’s not a flex, i am just majoring history and i need to read hell amount of things)

Dream job: history teacher or a coffee shop owner

Movie/book that summarises you: oh god, maybe Dead Poets Society or The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath, also Patrick Melrose by Edward St. Aubyn (sounds edgy but it’s purely philosophically, I have a mess of a mind tbh)

Fav song: for now Who We Are by Hozier and Inkpot Gods by The Amazing Devil

Fav instrument: drums

Aesthetic: i am walking chaotic academia, more towards dark than light but wholly chaotic, so let’s say that. And i like it a lot.

Fav author: j.r.r. tolkien, adam mickiewicz, fyodor dostoevski

Random fun fact: ok, so actually ii world war was highly influenced by use of methamphetamine by germans and benzedrine by brits (usage of drugs in history is my special interest 🤪)

Tagging, no pressure: @fenharel-enaste @aroace-moron @boromiiir @horsewithaface

[mp3kai]

・     𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑟𝑜𝑑𝑢𝑐𝑖𝑛𝑔   . . .   𝐊𝐀𝐈  𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐃𝐄𝐑.

[ cismale and he / him ] welcome to aurora bay , [ 𝐊𝐘𝐋𝐄 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐃𝐄𝐑 ] ! i couldn't help but notice you look an awful lot like [ DREW STARKEY ] . you must be the [ TWENTY - NINE ] year old [ FIRE AND ICE STEAKHOUSE & COCKTAIL LOUNGE BARTENDER + AMATEUR SKATEBOARDER ] . word is you're [ SPONTANEOUS ] but can also be a bit [ DESTRUCTIVE ] and your favorite song is [ PUNK TACTICS by JOEY VALENCE & BRAE ] . i also heard you'll be staying in [ OCEAN CREST APARTMENTS ] . i'm sure you'll love it ! ⏤ @aurorabayaesthetic .

・   ⏤   quick  links   :   pinterest   +   playlist   .

・     𝐁𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐂  𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍.

name   :   kyle  wilder  .   nicknames   :   kai  .   age   :   twenty - nine  .   gender  /  pronouns   :   cismale  &  he / him  .   hometown   :   beaufort  ,  north   carolina  .   career   :  aspiring   pro  skater / extreme  sports  athlete  + fire and ice steakhouse & cocktail lounge bartender .   positive  traits   :   spontaneous  ,  charismatic  ,  curious  ,  free   spirited  &  independent  .   neutral  traits   :   realistic  ,  sarcastic  ,  stubborn  ,  curious  &  impulsive  .   negative  traits   :   destructive  ,  closed  off  ,  irresponsible  ,  selfish  &  pessimistic  .

𝐄𝐗𝐓𝐑𝐀   ,

𝑝ℎ𝑦𝑠𝑖𝑐𝑎𝑙  𝑎𝑡𝑡𝑟𝑖𝑏𝑢𝑡𝑒𝑠   ;

hair  color   :   brown   (   will  dye  it  at  any  moment  if  he  gets  bored   )  .   eye  color  :   blue  .   height  :   six  foot  ,  two  inches  .   tattoos  :   currently  25  various  tattoos  .   piercings   :   2  ,  both  lobes   but usually only wears one .   faceclaim  :   drew  starkey  .

𝑚𝑖𝑠𝑐   ;

artists  streamed  :   nirvana  ,  rage  against  the  machine  ,  badflower  ,  soundgarden  ,  alice  in  chains  ,  pearl  jam  ,  led  zeppelin  ,  metallica  ,  audioslave  ,  beastie  boys  ,  boston  manor  ,  cleopatrick  ,  bad  omens  ,  joey  valence  &  brae  ,  bring  me  the  horizon  ,  dead  poet  society  ,  royal  blood  ,  the  pale  white  ,  radiohead  ,  nothing  but  thieves  ,  grandson  ,  system  of  a  down  ,  korn  ,  tool  ,  finger  eleven  ,  foo  fighters  . . .  and  many  many  more  .

・     𝐁𝐔𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐓  𝐏𝐎𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐒.

𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑜𝑛𝑎𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑦  𝑐ℎ𝑒𝑐𝑘   …

kai  wilder  ,  more  knowing  as  an  agent  of  chaos  some  would  say  . . .  that  some  being  me  . . .  i'm  the  one  .  it's  very  hard  for  kai  to  feel  settled  ,  always  needing  some  sort  of  rush  or  adrenaline  .  that  mostly  leading  into  him  getting  himself  into  some  sort  of  trouble  along  the  way  .  he'll  never  admit  to  anything  actually  going  on  with  him  and  claim  he's  just  trying  to  have  a  little  fun  .  even  though  ,  there's  no  doubt  that  he  does  everything  he  does  because  of  the  chaos  that  swarms  inside  his  head  .  always  seeming  unserious  ,  kai  can  flip  around  in  his  moods  easily  .  one  second  he's  joking  around  and  the  next  he's  bored  and  flips  the  script  .  he's  very  unpredictable  in  a  lot  of  ways  . . .  then  again  ,  if  you  really  know  him  ,  you  probably  feel  his  unpredictable  chaotic  behavior  is  to  be  expected  .  underneath  it  all  ,  there's  just  a  very  lost  human  being  but  . . .  that's  a  secret  .  or  ,  he  thinks  so  .  he  could  be  very  high  energy  ,  mainly  because  he  needs  things  to  keep  moving  or  he'll  lose  his  mind  .  then  again  ,  i'm  pretty  sure  that  his  mind  is  already  lost  .  there's  a  lot  to  uncover  but  . . .  is  it  worth  it  ?  maybe  not  . . .  he's  not  a  bad  person  . . .  but  not  exactly  a  good  person  either  .  his  morals  a  little  lost  . 

!!!   𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐑  𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆  𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓   !!!   :   drugs  /  addiction     (    there's  a  tiny  mention  !  i  put  a  warning  before  it  starts  and  after  it's  over  !   )

kyle  wilder  or  as  he  likes  to  be  called  ,  kai  wilder  was  born  in  good  ole  beaufort  ,  north  carolina  .  growing  up  in  his  small  family  of  four  .  then  again  ,  it  wasn't  much  of  a  family  to  begin  with  .  

kai's  mother  ,  kathy  davis  felt  as  though  she  wasn't  living  the  life  she  was  meant  to  .  playing  pretend  and  trying  to  fit  in  with  every  other  country  club  wine  mom  .  not  understanding  why  she  couldn't  live  her  dreams  of  sitting  pool  side  gossiping  with  the  ladies  about  her  life  while  her  husband  played  golf  with  the  boys  .  alas  ,  things  didn't  come  that  easily  for  the  woman  .  her  idea  of  country  club  living  was  sitting  at  the  public  pool  with  a  box  of  wine  and  overpriced  sunglasses  .  trying  her  darnedest  to  ignore  the  screams  of  children  around  her  .

daddy  dearest  on  the  other  hand  was  too  distracted  with  his  own  issues  to  ever  really  involve  himself  .          (     TW   :   DRUGS  /  ADDICTION.     )         carter  wilder  wasn't  one  for  the  family  lifestyle  .  which  was  exactly  why  he  didn't  really  entertain  the  idea  .  it  didn't  matter  that  his  on  and  off  girlfriend  became  pregnant  twice  with  his  offspring  .  he  wasn't  interested  in  kids  or  marriage  .  the  only  thing  that  really  interested  him  was  getting  his  next  hit  .  whatever  hard  drug  he  could  get  his  hands  on  ,  that's  where  he  drifted  off  to  .  it  didn't  matter  where  it  took  him  ,  it  didn't  matter  if  he  was  off  the  radar  for  days  ,  months  or  years  . . .  that's  where  he'd  be  .         (      TW  CONCLUDED  !     )

that  left  kai's  brother  ,  sawyer  wilder  .  only  older  by  a  year  ,  the  two  got  along  relatively  well  for  how  dysfunctional  the  two  became  to  be  .  in  a  lot  of  ways  ,  sawyer  was  the  one  that  raised  the  both  of  them  .  but  as  life  goes  ,  things  change  and  kai  and  sawyer's  relationship  fell  apart  .  the  two  brother  not  really  having  anything  to  do  with  each  other  in  current  years  .

as  for  kai  ,  he'd  never  really  felt  as  though  he  belonged  anywhere  .  never  feeling  as  if  anything  felt  quite  right  .  nowhere  ever  felt  like  home  to  the  male  causing  him  to  run  off  or  jump  from  place  to  place .   never  really  wanting  or  being  able  to  call  one  place  home  .

the  only  thing  that  the  male  really  clicked  with  was  extreme  sports  .  there  was  something  about  the  adrenaline  and  the  constant  movement  that  kept  him  entertained  and  excited  .  although  ,  his  aspiring  career  hasn't  jet  off  just  yet  ,  it  doesn't  stop  him  from  continuing  to  try  and  be  the  next  tony  hawk  or  big  bmx  guy  .

that  being  said  ,  he  needs  a  way  to  pay  for  the  random  places  he  finds  himself  .  working  any  jobs  he  could  get  his  hands  on  .  nevertheless  ,  most  of  the  poor  people  that  decide  to  hire  him  ,  regret  it  .  never  really  taking  anything  too  seriously  has  it's  downfalls  .

although  ,  kai  tries  to  constantly be moving and never really stick around in one place very long  ,  he  ended up back in aurora bay . visiting a few times , even living in the town for a period of time . he really didn't think he'd end up back in the place . yet , here he is . ready to cause some trouble , as always . . .

there's  some  things  missing  ,  i'm  sure  !  but  for  now  ,  this  is  what  i  got  .  going  with  the  flow  as  i  figure  him  out  more  !  please  ,  have  this  trash  as  my  token  of  gratitude  .  and  i'm  sorry  you  had  to  endure  this  struggle  and  ramble  .

・     𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃  𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒.

wanted  :   i  currently  don't  really  have  anything  other  than  just  vibing  and  seeing  what  will  happen  !  but  i'll  update  this  when  things  start  flowing  in  my  head  .  always  down  to  brainstorm  ! i'm always down for the most chaotic things !

i  do  have  a  section  in  his  pinterest  that  could  be  potential  ideas  for  some  plots  !  if  that  interests  you  !

・ 𝐓𝐀𝐊𝐄𝐍 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒.

𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 : his brother sawyer wilder , is a npc .

[gonzo-rella]

Headcanons: Alexis Rose, David Rose and Stevie Budd Taking Care of You When You're Sick

MASTERLIST | AO3 | KO-FI

Relationship(s): Alexis Rose x gn!reader (romantic or platonic), David Rose x gn!reader (romantic or platonic), Stevie Budd x gn!reader (romantic or platonic)

Warnings: Reader has a common cold, which gets ever so slightly gross at points, if you squint. Possible grammatical oversights because I'm sick myself. (Let me know if I need to add any)

(A/N: This is my third cold of the year. I have no idea why I keep getting sick, but at least it's inspired me to write more than I did last year, I guess! The first time I got sick, I wrote headcanons and a ficlet for Yellowjackets, Community, Dead Poets Society and Scott Pilgrim characters taking care of a sick reader. This time around, I felt motivated to write for Schitt's Creek. I haven't finished the show (I'm on season 5, I believe), and as of writing this A/N I haven't added it to my fandom list yet. But, anyway, it's nice to pretend that these guys are my friends or lovers who are taking care of me in my feeble state. I made it ambiguous because I figured more people could get more out of this, plus it didn't feel necessary to make it solely romantic or platonic. Anyway, feel free to send in Schitt's Creek requests, especially for Stevie and Alexis, my beloveds.)

ALEXIS

The word ‘ew’ comes up a lot.

Alexis 100% keeps her distance*.

She’ll be in the room with you, but she will have one foot out of the door.

At some point, you will ask her for a box of tissues, and she will throw them at you from across the room like she’s feeding something she’s afraid of.

If she hits you in the head with it, she will offer up an apology.

*She’ll work up the courage to inch closer and closer to you, until eventually she’s at your bedside.

She’ll spend a lot of time on her phone to the point that it feels insulting that she’s blatantly ignoring you when you’re feeling this awful, BUT she is actually spending a lot of time looking into the best ways to treat your cold.

She might get distracted by some gossipy headlines between medical articles, though.

You will be able to tell when she audibly gasps and reads out the headline to you with shock and glee.

You’ll have to tell her if you want anything because she will not, at least to begin with, take initiative.

She tries to get out of going to the drug store herself, and she asks Ted, Twyla, her parents, David and Stevie if they can go on her behalf because she claims to be too busy taking care of you to go herself.

But, she’ll go herself when no one ends up being available, and she’ll ask you not to die while she’s gone.

If you’re asleep when she gets back, she’ll repeat your name, poke you and shake you until you wake up, startled and slightly irritated.

But, it’s just because she’s worried you’re dead/dying, which you are absolutely not allowed to do on her watch.

It comes from a place of caring about you <3

According to her, it would be ‘super embarrassing if you died from a cold’.

She’ll proudly show you everything she bought from the drug store, and she’ll buy you an unnecessary present because she knows that receiving a gift would make her feel better if she were ill.

By the end of it, she actually kind of enjoys taking care of you, and she’ll take great pride in your recovery.

DAVID

David is very similar to Alexis when it comes to taking care of you.

He will ask you if you’re sure there’s no one else available to take care of you, and he will resort to suggesting people you’ve barely spoken to until he eventually just caves.

Like with Alexis, David will not make an effort to disguise how utterly repulsed he is by you.

He will insult you so many times, mostly without meaning to be so offensive, and he will sheepishly apologise for it when you send him an unimpressed glare.

He’ll keep his distance, not as much as Alexis, but he definitely keeps you at least at an arm’s length.

He ends up stinking of hand sanitiser because of how often he keeps applying it.

If you ask him to get you something, he will do it with a sigh.

Every time you cough or sneeze, he flinches like a brick’s been thrown through the window.

He’ll tuck his nose and mouth under his top if/when you have a coughing or sneezing fit.

He’ll go as far as to offer to make you soup or go to the store so he doesn’t have to be in the same room as you.

But he’ll insist that he just wants to help you feel better.

You do not buy it.

Despite his boredom, he’d feel rude spending too much time on his phone (or you might tell him to get off his phone because you’re bored, and he’d rather not deal with that), so he’ll end up putting a trashy reality show on to distract you from how you’re feeling (and to entertain himself).

Seeing you so under the weather does make him feel genuinely bad for you.

The only reason he accepts his role as your unqualified nurse is because he cares about you, whether or not he clearly expresses that.

But, he does start to think more about you than himself as the day goes on.

Like, he forgets about his own self-pity that he felt about having to spend his day taking care of you.

Regardless of how awful you look and feel, he will tease you about being sick.

Any pity he expresses for you is said with heavy sarcasm and condescension.

You can get back at him by throwing a snotty tissue at him.

It will deeply upset him.

STEVIE

Of the three of these guys, Stevie is the least repulsed by you.

She’s still at least slightly disgusted by you.

But, she’s nowhere near as dramatic about it as Alexis and David are.

She will only slightly hesitate to get near you.

But, it’s more because of her guarded nature as opposed to any aversion to your sickness.

She’d rather not get sick herself, but she won’t go to the lengths that Alexis and David will to avoid it.

A small part of her wouldn’t mind getting sick only because it’d be funny to upset David with it.

Like David, she will make fun of you and laugh at you for being sick, because one of her main love languages is mocking the misfortune of her loved ones.

She will tell you how gross you are, even if it doesn’t actually bother her that much.

She will half-heartedly apologise if you’re obviously not amused by it.

Of Alexis, David and herself, she is the most proactive, which might be surprising considering that, when she’s working, she rarely bothers to get up and do things unless prompted, and even then she’s pretty hesitant.

But, she’ll offer to go to the drug store before you have to ask her.

She’ll insist that you’ll feel better after a glass of wine, but it’s obvious she just wants a glass of wine, too.

She’s very attentive to you.

Sure, she’ll go on her phone, especially when you’re sleeping, but she won’t neglect you.

She enjoys your company, which she doesn’t express in any way besides the fact that she will have conversations with you that last for hours.

Like with David, you’ll probably end up watching some dumb TV show to distract/entertain yourselves.

She will take it upon herself to remember when you have to take your medicine, and she’ll be great at reminding you to drink something when she notices you haven’t in a while.

Of course she’ll say it in her own Stevie way that makes it seem like she doesn’t really care (but you know her well enough to know that she does).

“You might wanna drink something if you don’t want to sound like the Babadook anymore.”

Stevie’s concern for you and your recovery may not be at all overt, but she does sincerely want to see you get better.

After all, just sitting with you in your room all day gets pretty boring when you’re not feeling like yourself and you keep falling asleep.

[tragedyface]

Boarding School AU

"I been friends with Rue for a while, met a couple of summers back. You been friends with her a while, I know that"

"Yes we met our first day here"

"How old were you?"

"Eight"

"Man that is rough"

"I guess but my mom had to make a choice, she thought this would be more stable for us. I don't think she was wrong"

"Cool you can think like that. What was your name again?"

"Lexi"

"Lexi. I like that. That's a nice name"

"Thanks. So what brings you here"

"Oh my dad didn' wanna deal with me and my brother. We were livin' with my grandma and she had a stroke. I'd do a 'Fresh Prince' rap 'bout the whole thing turnin' my life upside down but I'm still pretty sad about it"

*

"Fezcos a drug dealer"

"Why would he do that? He's rich"

"Why does anyone do anything around here? For attention, for the cred, to make connections"

*

"Maybe you could tutor me. What? I care about gettin' into a good college!"

"Really?"

"Hell yeah. I got my eye on USC"

"Wow"

"Yeah it was voted number 1 for Greek Life in Cali so them frat boys make for a great customer base. Also LA has the most colleges in the country so there's all those customers. I figure there'll be a crossover sweet spot between all the frats"

"Oh. I thought you meant...never mind"

"So wassup? You my tutor?"

*

"So you're plan is to make Fezco fall in love with learning? Lexi you gotta stop watching Dead Poets Society"

"I'm in a New England Prep school. My life is Dead Poets Society. Its not the worst idea"

"You know the only thing you're going to acomplish is making him fall in love with you, right?"

*

"How have you been here a month and everyone knows you? I've been here nearly a decade and my teachers still call me Cassie's sister"

"Think it's just cus they want sumin' from me. Y'know people don't really pay attention to people they can't use for sumin', just means you ain't ever let yo self be used"

[studioahead]

Druid Heights: Northern California Legacy

Go north of San Francisco, through the woods of Marin, up the southern side of Mount Tam, and you may find what remains of Druid Heights. This is the name of the bohemian community that settled there in 1954, led by poet Elsa Gidlow. Gidlow was best known for On a Grey Thread, thought to be the first book of openly lesbian love poetry published in North America. Initially envisioned as a secluded retreat, Druid Heights quickly attracted other trailblazers: Beats like Allen Ginsburg, queer radicals, women's liberation activists who came to socialize or get away from socializing. For many, it was a place to party and listen to music: The Rolling Stones, Neil Young, and the Eagles all played there. A few made it their home, like philosopher Alan Watts who moved there in 1971, had a library built, and died soon after. The countercultural figures who visited this fabled five acres remain in popular memory. The buildings they stayed in have had a more precarious history.

These were designed by Roger Somers, a carpenter-turned-architect who with his white beard and maharishi clothing looked somewhat like a druid himself. A Somers house is wooden and seemingly inspired by Indonesian batak houses, Japanese stone gardens, Frank Lloyd Wright's Usonian fancies, and The Hobbit. They made perfect sense, but probably only if you were on any number of drugs at any number of parties that made the retreat infamous.

The party lasted long after Druid Heights' heyday—lasted probably until 2001, when Somers died in his hot tub on site. It was definitely over by 2006 after the National Parks Service, which had used eminent domain to seize the land in 1977, evicted all residents who did not have permanent leases. Since then, the forest has slowly reclaimed its territory, and only the occupied buildings are in sound condition.

The Parks Service has shown little interest in maintaining what is left. In 2017, a campaign was launched to save the Heights, to little effect; and the few remaining residents are in their 80s. Is this a fitting end? Watts once wrote: "What makes this world a beautiful experience is the impermanence and mutability of all things." Druid Heights was based on spontaneity, anarchism, improvisation—a preservation society is the opposite of this. In a culture of constant growth and productivity, one in which we expect all things to remain available at all times, to let the Heights decay into the past is perhaps the most countercultural action to take. But the Heights also represents an authenticity rare in a radically changed Bay Area that has allowed its cultural heritage to vanish or corporatize; perhaps then the most subversive act is to save it, and to save it for the same reasons we want to save the redwoods that surround it: because it is unique, because it is there, because places like it can't grow just anywhere and might never come again.

Elsa Gidlow in her shoji room.

Gidlow and Watts in the gardens of Druid Heights.

Gidlow in her bedroom surrounded by her books.

[moneflower]

A Greek Tragedy

----

A/N: Basically a drabble talking about a "war" that was significant but so vague that I almost forgot about it if it wasn’t for the new BSD season. Some character exploration of the next anatogonist: DOA.

---------

Warnings: Manga and light novel spoilers.

---------------------

In any piece of media, literally devices are no stranger for the progression of plot and/or to emphasize the stark differences between one character and the next.

From foils to paralells, they set up a character's struggle and the need to overcome it - either through means of confrontation or to plant a seed of doubt to question those beliefs.

To me, how I view Fyodor and Nikolai is like the purpose of a drug stimulant. His is to challenge people by making them step out of their comfort zone, while Nikolai's is to encourage the battle of your inner turmoil. You know, like between demons and angels.

But this all begs the question: Where does Sigma fit into this? First, I would say the name "decay of angels" is most likely to symbolize the fall of the good side, as evident in events of the cannibalism aftermath.

If anything, Sigma is probably Atusushi's moment of question, where good and evil blurs - the cruel capabilities good people can be pushed to when desperate.

Throughout this whole arc, we have characters reaching their existential crisis, namely Kunikida. As someone who goes by the rulebook, it's kind of jarring when Nikolai first shows up, and I'm not talking about his philosophy of freedom.

Like how Verline foiled Chuuya, his eccentricness challenged the limits of the poet's ideals and exceptions of rules - when do we cross the line and when can we forget what we were taught.

The decay of angels is an interesting concept in theory because not only did they happen to shift the narrative, but it seems to be questioning a bigger picture: What are abilities and their roles in society?

Events such as Dead Apple are an example of this, but like how abstract the question presents itself, the answer brings up more questions than answers.

Just what was "The Great War" and what happened to the supposedly ability users that were in the midst of this. From our current timeline, the older generation who were adults at the time were Mori, Fukuzawa, Fukuchi - the big three I'm going to focus on because of how much they influenced the plot.

In the most likely scenario, these characters could embody the varying perspectives of war. Fukuchi, the soldiers in line to experience it first hand, Mori, the cleaners: healing those fallen soldiers, and Fukuzawa, a cilivilan at home facing his own consequences of the war: famine, hunger, and population decline - all too similar to the story of Rashomon.

It wouldn’t be a too wild to speculate the surge of orphans could have come as a result of this: parents might have been dead or couldn't afford to keep them. 

Whether or not it's meant to reference history, did you know the term "great war" also refers to the first world war.

If what Fukuchi said is to be true, then I wouldn’t be too surprised if his motive consisted of revenge. It’s even more strange how in the BSD wiki page how most of the veterns are either missing or dead. 

There’s often this grey conversation of just how much does it takes to be a hero. 

Was the sacifaces worth it, did you regret any of it because that’s what our main protoganist will be facing besides the typical good vs evil. A grey morality that can be easily shifted if your justification are rightous enough. 

It’s kind of tragic to know they were just barely young adults before they were dragged into this mess, an adult’s game of poltics that ruined a future they had ahead of them. Like the cycle, it is now happening to the new generation that they can’t seem to break out of. 

‘You either die as a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villian.’

Fuichi is what you would call a tragic hero. He reminds me of Reiner from AOT when people were quick to turn on him before his perspective came out. All of a sudden he was this villianized person to someone redeemable. 

For now, he’s got what I like to call it the “Macbeth Treatment.” Someone reverd but somehow lost their way due to their own hubris or shortcoming. 

It’s scary because this could have became any’s hero fate, the fact that Dazai could or could have easily taken this path doesn’t make it all the more easy. 

We still have beast to talk about. Where Mori fits into this picture and many more, but that’s for next time. On a later post when I can gather enough brain power to write more. 

[lilaceas]

he wanna he wanna he wanna

shower colder when its snowing but when i'm in my clothing cannot see snowflakes because be inhaling springer & some say coats on me looks dirt but smells like drugs & easy riders throught happiness & not well deserved lush & caring is first etape of tricked versions on half-doses of red heart & blood is medicine by own then if sleeping pills cannot make me someone stronger then nobody can feel this pain deeper therefore sickness are to society of poets & killers a dream lies inside a bullet in an empty stomach & if i can be perfectly insane blood can spills in needles & poison & appearences of a full mouth cherry & overdoses & mother's house was only smearing as coffee & cake & her single one daughter lying to buy nor love as man she loves but a smile & inspiration about mess bornbabygirl does at her own feet & step by step turning into flames of a burning star & reality didn't perceived confidence in streets older dyagnosis through empathy & christimas holidays at new position of who i was thinking i wasn't & how to express. some time beauty fits in a crown princess tiara golden blue just as sky but fillip needs to make talk more as a compassioned angel fly went away her porcelain snow-globe & of womanhood & explicts retailing of what i haven't done betwen shirts smearing nicotine lips & falling into magical terms of supouses on i'd slept & woke up with nothing in my mind. fillip was an underground sociologist thinking i'm a girl dying by river drowns be still holding herself & i look to so many men figuring it out how to pay for its kindness & now no gentleman possess loneliness & garden if sorrows on how is it to be difficutly breathing those tears & ostentatious & empty most perfectly date.

[minkymeatshop]

[ID: A picture of pink ballet flats on a floral bedsheet, a picture of a young woman in a white dress wearing angel wings and holding a candle and rosary, and a picture of someone’s lap, who is wearing a fluffy skirt and drawing an ornate bow with a heart on the end of the arrow. End ID]

THE ANIMAL TO TAKE ME APART? — Ronnie Fong

CONTENT WARNING: drug use

Ronnie lives in the present. Impulsive and savvy, she has no time to dredge through the past for what made her this way. She only knows what she wants and what she wants now. A freelance web designer and journalist, she is fiercely independent and takes pride in her own success.

Veronica “Ronnie” Bernadette Fong

Vampire (turned ca. 1880)

179 (turned at 37)

She/her (no preference)

Queer

She cut her widow’s peak baby bangs herself, and has been wearing her hair short since about 1880.

The only clues to her inhuman nature are her two unusually sharp incisors. The cutoff point for serious injuries from holy symbols was about 1920, as crucifixes and the like began to lose societal power after this point. Ronnie will really only wince upon entering a holy space.

Her current drugs of choice are tobacco, alcohol, and weed. She’s a vampire, so she can’t get organ failure.

She’s an excellent writer and poet, and a good cook.

Cantonese accent.

part 2/3: Lexi Desanges // Ronnie Fong // References

Background below cut — CONTENT WARNING: drug misuse, death

Ronnie was born in China in 1843 as Fong Vivi. Arriving in the United States, her name was misheard and changed to Veronica at Ellis Island, and Ronnie doesn’t feel a connection to her birth name anymore. She immigrated to New York City in 1866 as her brother, who was meant to come, had passed away of disease. Settling in Manhattan’s Chinatown, Ronnie found work as a seamstress. In 1870, she began a short relationship with a mysterious man, Alexandre, who seemed far too naïve for his apparent age. Ronnie really loved him, which made it hurt all the more when he suddenly left her and moved across the country. She remained in New York City, slowly moving on from Alexandre. In 1880, ten years after her affair with him, she was transformed into a vampire by her then-lover, promising they would be together forever. Unfortunately, this didn’t work out, and the two split with a mutual agreement not to seek each other out. (Ronnie accidentally found her on Facebook in 2013, and she seems to be getting along alright.) From the 1880s to the 1920s, Ronnie would sometimes crossdress and pass as a man, going by Ron, to attempt to find better opportunities. This identity was short-lived, since she preferred presenting feminine and returned to her femme appearance when more opportunity for women was available. In 1912, ‘Ron’ was working as a bartender, when his current ‘friend’ grew suspicious of his odd habits and set himself on proving that he was a vampire. He succeeded in giving Ronnie a severe burn with a crucifix. Panicked, she fled to Canada to escape suspicion, later finding work in radio hosting. In 1962, Ronnie’s dear friend, Bernadette, died of a drug overdose, and Ronnie took her middle name from her to keep her memory alive. In 1993, Ronnie returned to New York City, where she continued as a radio host and later ended up taking up her current career in web design. In 2019, Ronnie decided that she wanted to go into journalism, and is currently pursuing her degree while working as a freelance journalist. In 2022, Ronnie remembered that she had written a very romantic letter to her lover in 1870, and on a whim, she sought out the help of the New York Historical Society to locate it. First of all, her letter was nowhere near as well-written as it had been in her memory, and Ronnie almost would have ripped it up if it weren’t a historical document now. Second of all, the cute archivist with the glasses and the really pretty hands looked a lot like a feminine version of Alexandre, her former lover…