#my dad has got me out of all the trouble I've ever gotten into as much as he can

[kennyomegasweave]

Ray is the worst character on this show and I hate this man like he poisoned my water supply and burned my crops. I don't even care.

This man is looking right in Sand's sad eyes and saying "but you make me happy" while still pretending Mew wants him and stringing Sand along as a backup option. He’s the worst kind of person you fall for in your early adult years because they don’t love anyone but themselves, but can fool you just enough that you fall for it every time, then hate yourself for falling for the obvious bullshit.

He really was out here trying to have Sand do his mandatory community service. I know he said he’d be there, but he wouldn’t be the one teaching the kids, which he even admitted. He’d just be sitting there watching Sand, probably after pregaming before, with doe eyes because he’s never actually worked a day in his life. He doesn’t respect Sand or his time in any way at all. He’s a spoiled brat that uses his daddy’s money, or whatever and whoever he can, to get his way.

I want to sit him down and tell him “Mew doesn’t want to fuck you. He’s only entertaining you because he’s heartbroken over Top. You pretending he wants to be with you because he’s constantly drunk and doing lines with you, when you know he has a problem with your drinking and the fact that you even do coke, is absolutely pathetic. And imagine doing all that, having Mew blackout drunk and high, and him still not wanting to fuck you? Embarrassing. He only even kissed you because he wanted to hurt Top and your stupid ass thought you won something. It would be sad if it wasn't so pathetic.” 

And if you thought this man couldn’t get worse, Mew’s been drunk for weeks (maybe? Ray's arm is fine and he's already been convicted of his DUI) at this point, is high for the first time, and puking in the sink, and where the fuck is Ray, who always so loudly and self righteously proclaims he’s the only person that really loves Mew, to take care of him? Forcing himself onto Sand and wrecking his shit because he’s an adult toddler that wants all his toys to only belong to him. And remember kids, he didn’t just cockblock Sand and forcibly kiss him while Sand struggled to push him away, he also called him a whore for the FOURTH time. I fucking hate him. Though I’m proud Sand FINALLY stood up for himself, even just a little bit, because Ray isn’t worth ANY of this sadness and drama. He’s not that cute, his hair is uneven, and he looks dusty.

Ray’s selfish actions, in having coke at all, being so fucking sloppy he's strung out on a couch at a party, and stringing Sand along for months, almost got Sand arrested. I hope everyone that wants this relationship to happen acknowledges that because god knows Sand, and the show, won’t. If Top didn’t bribe the cop, they both would have been arrested and we all know Sand has no money for any type of lawyer or bribe. So slow clap it out for Ray's complete selfishness. And what did Sand get after all that? Ray passed out alone, happily hugging a pillow.

Everyone calls him a burden because he is. He refuses to do a damn thing to change because he doesn’t actually hate his life all that much. And why would he? He’s a spoiled pampered young man that drags everyone (Sand, Mew, Cheum) down with him. And then he sobers up the next day and does it all over again. His daddy’s money always keeps him protected from any real consequences, because that DUI sentence was a slap on the wrist. Hell, even Top’s money protected him because he should have been arrested. And we all know if the tables were flipped, he would have let Top get carted off without a second thought for how that would hurt Mew. Because he doesn’t care about anyone but himself. 

In conclusion:

[abbyromanoff]

Hey I've got a request

Idk if you've written a fic about this before, so ignore this if you have

Late night conversations with big stepsis Nat has you admitting that you know next to nothing about sex except what you've read in textbooks

And Nat makes it her responsibility to teach (show) you everything she knows (especially all the kinky stuff)

Could you make is extremely smutty, please 🥺?

Step-sis

Pairings: Natasha Romanoff x reader

Word count: 2149

Warnings: step-cest, daddy kink, innocence kink, slightly dark/pervert Nat, fingering, head, bit of a needy Nat, possessiveness, jealousy, small angst, mentions of strap sucking,

No one is permitted to steal, copy, or reblog my work as their own!!

“Alright you two, don’t cause any trouble while we’re gone!” Your father yelled out, he and your stepmother leaving in a hurry. They were going on their honeymoon in Peru, leaving you and Nat all by yourself. The two of you had always gotten along, you had sought her for guidance most of the time and she was always happy to show you. You thought it was a little weird when she taught you how to kiss for your first-ever date, but she said she was just being nice and that you need to be grateful for all that she gives you.

“So, what do you want to do?” Asked the redhead, now coming down the stairs in a pair of boxers and a tank top. She wasn’t wearing a bra, you could tell by the hardened nipples making their appearance in the cold room.

“Well, dad gave me some money so we can buy pizza. If you want, we could have a pizza and ice cream night?” They were your favorite nights, she thought it was adorable how you got excited over little things like that. A chuckle escaped her lips as she shook her head lightly,

“Of course, baby, whatever you want.” A smile broke way on your face as you grabbed your phone and found the number for your local restaurant.

An hour later and you both sat on the couch, most of the pizza finished as your ice cream started to melt. You had a show on, the one you two binged together. Her arm was wrapped around your shoulder as you cuddled into her chest, your legs crossed over her own.

“Y/N?” Came her low voice, breaking the comfortable silence filling the room. When you hummed in response, she spoke again,

“Have you ever done that?” She pointed to the tv where two characters kissed down each other's bodies and removed their clothing. You gulped down any embarrassment you had and looked up at her, seeing her darkened gaze staring into your own.

“Uhm, no. No, I haven’t.” A small grin marked her face, you truly were her innocent little doll.

“Have you?” You wanted her to say no, that she’d never do that with someone other than you. But you knew that was unrealistic, she wouldn’t want to do that with you. Or so you thought. When you saw her nod, a small pit of jealousy formed in your body, you wanted her to be yours. You wanted to be the first person she’d touch, the first she’d fuck, the first she’d make love to.

“Oh.” She kissed the top of your head, leaving her lips there for a moment too long before leaning back to look at you.

“‘Oh?’ What’s wrong?” You shook your head and started to move from her arms, only to be pulled back down by her strong arms.

“Baby, what’s wrong? Are you jealous?” She stroked your hair in her hands as you played with your fingers, feeling a hand rest on top of them to calm you down. Her forest green eyes stared into your own, concern marking her face.

“I’ve never really done that stuff. And, I mean, you’re experienced and I bet you’re great too. Gosh, it’s stupid.” She urged you to speak, wanting to hear every thought in that pretty little head of yours.

“C'mon, I won’t make fun of you, I promise.” You sighed and whispered out,

“I want to be those girls you bring home every night, I want to be the one you kiss and make love to.” She couldn’t have been happier hearing those words. She wanted nothing more than to ruin you with her fingers, her strap, her mouth. Every time she’d bring someone home, she’d picture it being you. You beneath her as you begged her to let you cum, it got her wet just thinking about it.

“Sweetheart, come here. God, you’re so cute! You don’t know how much I’ve been wanting to hear you say that, I’ve been waiting so long.” She chuckled at your confused expression, dragging her finger across your jaw as she pulled you in. Your lips brushed her own as she stared down at them.

“Can I?” She mumbled, receiving a short nod in return. Her mouth landed on yours as she kissed you with passion, wrapping her hands around the back of your head to keep you close. She never wanted to let go. And when breathing became an issue, she would’ve rather died than pull back. Her forehead clashed with yours, the two of you panting against each other.

“My love, your lips feel even better than before. Have you been practicing what I taught you?” Seeing you nod only angered her further. You were hers, not anyone else’s. How could anyone think they could do that with her girl?

“With who? Who did you kiss, baby?” She thought of everyone it could’ve been. Was it Kate? Carol? Steve? Bucky? Peter-

“Wanda. I kissed Wanda.” Her nostrils flared, lips closing in a tight-lipped smile. You studied her facial expressions, you knew she wasn’t happy.

“That bitch. She thinks she can touch my girl? She thinks she can kiss my girl? Did she touch you? Did she fuck you?” You shook your head quickly, watching as she now paced around the room, filled with anger. She stopped dead in her tracks hearing your soft voice,

“No, daddy, I kept them for you, just like you said.” She faced you this time, walking up to you with pure gentleness. You leaned into her hand placed on your cheek, giving it a small kiss before resting your head on her fingers.

“Good girl, such a good girl for daddy. Did you do what I told you with your pillow?” She had asked you to rub your sweet cunt on the fabric anytime you needed her, but you were too scared to do a thing. You were too afraid that somebody would see, that Nat would see.

“N-no, I didn’t.” She blew out a small breath before running her hands across your body, feeling the curves and soft, lotion-covered skin. Her wandering hands found their way to your round breasts, palming them with slight harshness. She let out a small moan when hearing you whimper from the painful grasps.

“Were you nervous? Scared your daddy would catch you?” You didn’t know who she was referring to, herself or your father. But, you shook your head anyways,

“No? Then what was it? Why were you so scared, baby?” The hem of your shorts were played with as she slowly pulled the fabric down, your hips moving upwards to help her take them off. You were left in your drenched panties. You felt two digits slowly play with your clit through your underwear, you froze. This was wrong. So wrong.

“Nat, we can’t do this. You’re basically my sister-“

“Step-sister. And it’s not wrong, many of my friends do it with their step siblings too.” She firmly corrected you, hoping you’d believe her lie. None of her friends even liked their new families. But you were different, you were impossible not to play with and tease. The innocent glances you give her, knowing they’re nothing close to it makes it almost impossible not to bend you over the dining table. She wishes you both were under different circumstances, so she could show you off to everyone saying you’re hers. But for now, she’ll just have to touch you in private.

“Do-do they actually?” She only nodded for an answer, watching as you started to calm down a bit. She never liked lying, but she’d do anything for you.

“All of them. They play with their friends sweet little pussy’s, just like I’m gonna do to you.” Your legs were forcefully pried open, your wet folds being left on display as the cold air hit you, causing goosebumps to erupt on your skin. She tried to stop herself, but she had to have a taste. Her head was shoved into your cunt as her tongue played around with your clit, occasionally dipping in your hole to tease you. Her eyes stared into your own, seeing yours flutter shut as your mouth dropped open.

“Oh- Nat! That feels so- fucking good!” Her hand came crashing down on your thigh, her face leaning back as you tried to chase after the feeling once more.

“No fucking swearing, Y/N. Did your dad never teach you your manners? Aww, don’t worry, daddy will teach you everything you need to know.” You hoped she’d continue to eat you out, but she only sat next to you again. You were on the verge of tears, begging her to finish you off until you felt the pads of her fingers touching you again. She held your figure in her arm as the other traveled to your throbbing cunt. You were clenching around nothing, fuck it got her so turned on. Everything about you got her so unbelievably horny. She just wanted to fuck you and never stop, wanted you to feel every inch of her every second of the day.

“Fuck, I’m sorry, my love, I need to. I need to just finger this tight little pussy!” You felt two digits slide into you, your walls wrapping around them immediately. She let out a loud moan when feeling your warmth. It was heaven.

“Oh- shit! Your sweet fucking cunt is so goddamn precious, and all mine. You’re all fucking mine, every inch of you.” She didn’t care for the painful stretch it might bring you, she just needed to feel you. She moved your body so you sat facing her, your legs spread wide open as she towered over you. She needed to taste you again, she was addicted. You were like a drug to her, she couldn’t get enough. Her mouth returned to your swollen clit, sucking the hardened bud in her mouth. You were a moaning mess, clutching onto anything you could see as your legs shook.

“God, you taste so good! Can never get enough of you, I need you every single minute. You’re the best toy I’ve ever had, so pure and innocent. I’m the first to touch this pussy, aren’t I?” You nodded along with her words, trying to speak until a loud moan took over you.

“Yes! Yes, you’re the first and only!” She smiled into you, the thought of you being hers made all her fears go away. The fear of you liking Wanda. The fear of you just wanting sex. The fear of losing you. And the fear of your parents catching you. She couldn’t care at that moment, all she wanted to do was make you cum.

“Daddy, I feel weird.” You didn’t understand this feeling, you’ve never even had an orgasm.

“It’s alright, you’re going to cum, baby. You remember what I showed you with those two girls on that video?” You racked your brain for what she was talking about, finally remembering exactly what she was insisting.

“Yeah, w-when those two girls were grinding on each other. And then that girl- came!” The last word was shouted out, the sensation becoming too unbearable to hold in.

“I think I’m gonna-“ She cut you off, “Shh, I know, I know. Do it for me, cum for daddy.” You felt like you were going to pee, you hoped that was normal. Splashes of your juices sprayed the woman’s face, covering her in your slick.

“Fuck, daddy, I’m so sorry!” Your breathing wasn’t calmed, but you felt too bad. She shook her head and continued to lick your cunt, grabbing every drop in her mouth.

“Kitten, you taste so good! Have you ever tasted yourself?” Were you supposed to? Isn’t that weird? Reading your expression, she used her fingers to show deep into your mouth. You choked slightly, the sudden shock making it harder to focus on doing it right. You wanted to impress her, show her you were better than those other girls.

“Good girl, so good! Can't wait for this to be my strap, I’d love to make you swallow every last drop of my cum.” You gave her your best doey eyes as her other hand traveled into her pants. She circled her clit, picturing it was you. All the times she’d fuck herself, all she could think about was you. You and your sweet panties that she’d steal only to put them back covered in her cum. She never thought she’d be such a fucking pervert, but you made her this way. You made her want to go to any extent to have you, even if she had to remove that whore from your life. No matter what she had to do to have you, she’d do it. And she’d make sure everyone would know you’re hers, no matter what.

[ftm-radio]

My gender is 4 years old

...and four days, as of April 15th. This post is a bit late. 😅

Four years ago, all the confusing little puzzle pieces I'd been collecting came together in a genuine eureka! moment and I realized I was transgender. It was exhilarating and terrifying and it undeniably changed my life for the better.

The last few years have felt pretty damn slow and I've had to scramble over a few frustrating obstacles (never changing my name AGAIN, lmao, that was annoying as fuck) but it's all been worth it and now it feels like I'm really making headway.

I started testosterone this past year! I did that! I'm almost 7 months on T now! Currently on a dose of two pumps of gel, which I have only missed applying once in all that time because I was literally sick. The changes are gradual but they are real and they have already brought me so much joy and made me so much happier in my humble flesh prison. 💗

The most anticipated change for me (and for a lot of transmasc folks, I imagine) is my voice, and BOY (heh) am I happy to share this data comparison with you:

[ LEFT: A screenshot from the Voice Pitch Analyzer app, dated November 3rd, 2021. It shows that OP's voice registers fully within the female voice range. RIGHT: Another screenshot from the app, dated April 12th, 2024. This one shows that OP's voice registers mostly between the Androgynous and Male voice ranges. ]

My voice is so different now. It sounds different, it feels different, and in just the last week or so I swear it has gotten a little rougher and raspier and I am LIVING. I could not be happier!!!

...okay, fine, I could be happier lmao.

I'm adjusting to my deeper voice and still learning how to use it in a way I like & that feels best to me, so I'm starting to do some casual at-home voice training again after basically forgetting about the concept completely since 2021. (Whoops.) But I am already so much happier and more content with my voice than I have ever been in my life, so it's only getting better from here, lads. <3

I've also had to go to a lot of appointments and answer a ton of phone calls about said appts recently because I kinda fucked up my eyeball (it's better now, don't worry! and be gentle to your eyes, they are delicate and eye drops are so fucking annoying when you're doing them seven times a day, jfc) and my voice has reached a point where I was a lot more comfortable interacting with strangers and I also didn't notice any surprise or confusion when I introduced myself with a male name! It was kind of amazing.

Also singing is even more fun now. I love love LOVE singing along with a male vocalist and feeling the way my voice kinda rumbles through my chest. 10/10 sensory experience.

Other changes aren't nearly as exciting or obvious as my voice, but here's a quick (?) rundown, for those who are curious:

Mood — Gotta be honest, I don't think I've really noticed any significant change in my day-to-day mood, though I may not be the best judge for this because I have trouble figuring out what/how I'm feeling in general, tbh. But I think I have certainly gotten more comfortable and content with myself and I'd even go so far as to say I feel a little more confident these days. It's nice, I appreciate it.

Acne — I definitely noticed a change in how my acne presents itself on my face. I wouldn't say it's worse than before (I've had very bad acne since I was a young teenager and only got medication for it like, last year which has helped immensely) but I think it's different. More little red spots and roughness than the unpleasant and painful pimples I'm used to. I don't even mind it, really. Oddly affirming.

Facial Hair — I've got facial hair. I really do!!! Not clickbait!!! It's not much, not enough for me to be brave and take my dad up on his offer of shaving lessons quite yet, but it has grown in enough that I don't feel silly including it in self portraits! 🤭🧔🏻 Got a little bit of a mustache happening, a little bit at the sides of my face, some fuzz on my chin (with one LONG hair that I can only assume has been greedy and stealing his brothers' growth), and a frankly surprising lil patch of hair under my jaw. On a semi-related note, not sure if my brows have gotten much darker/thicker. They might have? idk.

my new discord icon, hehe... 👁💜🪓

Body Hair — I have gotten a little more hair on my forearms, and it may have gotten a little darker too! I have a tattoo on my arm just below my left wrist and it's been surprisingly helpful for measuring arm hair growth because for years my tattoo was not covered by hair at all but the left side of it's a little fuzzy now... 😏 I've gotten more noticeable hair growth on my upper arms, which were basically hairless before (free gender euphoria every time I put on my T) and on my thighs. Don't think my lower legs have gotten much hairier, and I'm a little impatient about it lmao. I want to get hairy enough to rival my brother.

Energy/Appetite — Can't say I've really noticed any differences here? I am not a very active person and I already struggled with appetite and getting myself to eat before I started T (thank you adhd & poor eating habits 🥲💀), so I can't quite tell if I'm ignoring more hunger signals than usual. 😅 I am hoping to get more active and start doing more physical activity now that it's starting to get warmer outside again, so hopefully that will help me see these sorts of changes and also get me into some better eating habits as I expend more energy and work up a proper appetite! (Also, since we're on the topic... a reminder for all of us that taking care of yourself and feeding the body you live in is a million times more important than aesthetics and numbers on a scale. ❤)

Menstruation — I am still getting my period right on schedule, but I am happy to say it is considerably lighter than it was before I started testosterone! My period has begun getting shorter, too. It lasted for roughly 7–9 days before, but I was bleeding for exactly 7 days last month, and only 6 days this month. I'm not sure if this trend will continue at such a dramatic rate, but if my next round is only 5 days I will be very excited about it, lol. My uterus can retire any day now, please...

Bottom Growth — if any of my friends read this part, don't speak to me about it lmao — Yeah... there's a little bit of something happening down there. Not a lot, and I haven't really noticed any pain or sensitivity, but there's a Difference. Aaaaand I like it. 😌 I am looking forward to any and all future developments. 😏👉🏻👉🏻

Okay! I think that's it, really.

I know I haven't been super active on this blog for quite a while now (I have really gotten into fandom blogging on my main lmao, and also discord is my favorite thing right now, it's where 90% of my friends live) so I hope this nice, long, ramble-y post makes up for that a little bit. <3

Not gonna make any promises that I'll post here more often, but y'know. I might. It could happen. Definitely not leaving this blog to sit and gather dust, that's for sure. I'll still be reblogging stuff semi-frequently, even if I'm not writing up my own posts.

So goodbye for now, and thanks for tuning in! 👋🏻📻💖💙✨️

[sirfrogsworth]

I said I would be posting more now that I have a laptop upstairs, and I will. I haven't posted much yet because I was still getting used to the keyboard and trying to get to a more comfortable typing speed that didn't frustrate me.

I actually bought a MacBook Air. I borrowed some money from my dad that I will be paying back over time. It's my first Apple product if you don't count the iPhone I got for my parents. It's a wonderful computer. The M1 chip is super zippy. Battery life is amazing. My former 12 year old laptop lasted about 2 hours per charge. This thing lasts me basically all day. The construction is very impressive. The aluminum body feels very sturdy. The screen is beautiful and gets way brighter than I need. And while they don't have any bass, I can't believe how good these tiny laptop speakers sound. My old laptop sounded like a super quiet AM radio. This thing hasn't gotten even mildly warm yet (though I am not rendering video or anything). It is very light. I feel comfortable taking it with me around the house if I need to. The old laptop was about 12 pounds and I think this is 2.75 or so.

Apple just makes good laptops. They always have, though they weren't always a great value. But I think the M1/M2 models are actually competitively priced as long as you don't get too many upgrades. The upgrade prices are still bonkers.

The OS has taken some getting used to. But for basic functions it's fine. I haven't had any trouble navigating. And the search function is much better than Windows. As is the aesthetics.

I don't really get into those technology pissing contests. I considered a Windows laptop, but there were just so many PC laptop choices and I was overwhelmed with the research required to find a good one. Not only can quality vary from manufacturer to manufacturer, but it can also vary from model to model. There are shitty Dells and fantastic Dells. I just didn't have the energy to figure out which was which. But I knew the new M1 Macs were all well reviewed and would serve my needs. So, that's what I got.

One bonus is that all of my friends are on iPhones and so now I can use iMessage and not turn into a dreaded green bubble. I still think Apple should make texting with android not crappy, but I'm happy to have a less frustrating way to communicate with my friends until that happens. If it ever does. (C'mon Europe, force Apple to fix that!)

Choosing tech these days is just about your needs and preferences. Brand loyalty is bullshit. All of the companies basically suck as far as business practices. Google might even be eviler these days. Microsoft has always been shit. And Dell has some of the worst customer service around. In this particular instance, Apple was the least evil choice for my needs and preferences. And anytime I need to do something only a PC can handle, I can just pop downstairs and use my desktop machine.

My only complaint so far is that I don't like how the scroll wheel functions with my bluetooth mouse. I like to scroll 3 lines at a time and Apple has this weird scroll acceleration feature that scrolls really slow at first and then crazy fast the more you scroll. I think there is a workaround but I haven't had the time to figure it out yet.

I'm excited to test out Photoshop, as I've heard the M1 version is about 50% faster. I just haven't had the energy to edit any photos recently.

So, that's my Apple experience so far. It's a good computer that I hope will last for many years. I also like that they maintain decent resale value if I need something different down the line.

[karlrose]

Why I still obsess over hyperfixations gone by...

I still love Xena The Warrior Princess and still watch the DVDs from time to time because all of the good memories I have with my mother involve watching Xena together. Xena and The Facts of Life. (My mother was incredibly physically and emotionally abusive to me so I cherish the times when she was kind)

I still love Danny Phantom because it premiered on Nickelodeon the same day my nephew was born. It's also the first show I wrote fanfic for. I related to Danny a lot and liked that he wasn't a perfect role model. He was a normal kid with anger issues and could be vindictive at times, but tried to keep good in him. (I broke my foot tripping on a pair of boots my father had told me to pick up several times before while running to watch Fanning the Flames. That was when I learned that Dad tells me to do things for my own good, not because he just didn't like the mess)

I still play Kingdom Hearts all the time because I met my husband through our shared interest in it. When we got married, we had to decide who's copy of which game we were keeping and which we were giving away to others. His first birthday after our marriage, I bought him his own keyblade and I loved seeing his face light up and how he excitedly swung it around like a child on christmas. I've gotten him something Kingdom Hearts themed every birthday ever since. (The happiest he's ever been with any of my gifts is the christmas I got him new undershirts, underwear, and socks though. He cried. I thought he'd be disappointed that I got him something so practical, but I've never seen anyone so happy from something so simple)

I still love Team Rocket because my siblings and I would bond over Pokemon. We traded cards, we played the games together, we watched the movies over and over.

I still love Super Metroid because it was the first game I ever finished. I was 4 years old the first time I got to the ending. I fell in absolute love with the metroid and had such an emotional response to the experience. I still think Super Metroid is one of the best games ever made.

I still love Sailor Moon because I've been watching Sailor Moon since I was 3. So much of my life is wrapped up in it. A lot of the lessons I still carry to this day and try to impart on my kids, I learned from Sailor Moon. If a friend is in trouble, it's more important to help your friend than to keep a secret. Friends aren't just people you hang out with or talk to, friends are people you look out for and who look out for you. If you don't have the other person's best interests in mind, you're not friends. My entire blueprint on how to treat people comes from watching Sailor Moon. I have a moon sceptre, a collection of lockets, and I still have the Sailor Moon plush I got for christmas as a child. Her pigtails are missing and her head is crocked (her head got ripped off in a sibling fight and my friend who had just learned how to sew from her grandma sewed her head back on for me making the plushie itself a symbol of friendship.)

My current obsession, Miraculous Ladybug, I love because I see myself in Marinette. She has anxiety, I have anxiety. I see the relationship between my husband and I in Marinette and Adrien. They're both oblivious dorks and so are we. But the biggest reason I love Miraculous is because I feel the way I felt the first time I watched Sailor Moon.

[wolfstardaughter-jj]

Until the End

A/n: here's what I wrote for the prologue. It's basically a summary of Y/n's backstory and a bit of history of what happened during the first wizarding war. I've published it both on AO3 and Wattpad so you guys can check it out:) The first chapter is a WIP so it might be a week before I publish it but yeah, here's the prologue<3

My name is Y/n Lupin-Black. I live with my dads and my cat in a cottage. You can say it’s one of my favorite places to be at.

Both my dads were part of “The Order of the Phoenix” during the first wizarding war. Which eventually led them to me.

They were on an order mission, they were supposed to meet with their informat for some new information that could possibly help fight Voldemort and his followers. But instead of being faced by their informant, they found me in a basket with a note.

“Keep her safe.” was all it said.

They met up with the informant a few days later and they said they didn’t know who I was or where I came from. They didn’t know what else to do with me other than take me in.

Even in the middle of the war, they decided to take in a baby they had no idea about. I was only a few months old at that point.

As the war became worse, lots of people started to go into hiding, specifically the Potters. They knew their son, Harry, was one of Voldemort's primary targets so they had to keep him safe. They made sure to make my papa, Sirius, the secret Keeper.

Things started to turn around when my uncle, Regulus Black, decided to join the Order. He told the order of Voldemort’s plans and revealed some very shocking news. Specifically the one about Peter Pettigrew’s betrayal to the order.

They cornered Peter and got him locked up in Azkaban. But the Dark side still had no idea about Regulus’s betrayal so he worked as a double agent.

One night, Sirius went on an order mission while Remus looked after me. Unfortunately Sirius was taken by a group of snatchers that ambushed the mission and took him to their headquarters.

I still don't know what they did to him to this day but they pried the Potter's location out of his mind and knew where the Potters were.

Luckily Regulus was there and warned the order and they managed to get to the Potters home to try and evacuate the Potters to safety. But they had arrived at the same time Voldemort and his cavalry did.

They fought within the Potter's home and at some point in the crossfire, Harry was hit. Fortunately, Harry didn't die and was simply left with a scar. A very cool scar, I might add.

During the fight, Regulus went on to the Death eater headquarters and rescued dad from their hold.

They managed to win the fight and defeated Voldemort once and for all. They arrested all the Death eaters and practically saved the wizarding world and the muggle world.

That was 12 years ago. I’m 13 now and going into my third year at Hogwarts. Through the years, everything had been full of chaos and mayhem. Some caused by me but many of them were due to Voldemort’s consistent attempts on coming back to life. Obviously each attempt failed horribly.

After the war, dad and papa moved to a small cottage far away from everything.

They lost a lot of people during the war and it left a big imprint in their lives. Dad says that Sirius has never been the same since uncle Reg got him back from the D.E headquarters. But he's gotten better over the years but he sometimes gets his episodes.

Growing up, the Potters visited quite often. I practically grew up with Harry and we were inseparable. Aunt Marlene and Aunt Lily would say we were the mini versions of James and Sirius.

Eventually we were introduced to the Weasley's and added Ron into our little group. But his older brothers who just happened to be a pair of twins had a special flair for trouble.

And how Aunt Lily likes to put it "Y/n is drawn to trouble the way a moth is to a flame". Can't say she's lying cause it's absolutely true.

The twins caught wind of my pranking streaks and ever since then, we became a pranking team. That was until they had to go off to Hogwarts. I spent my days at the cottage just reading and quizzing with Dad. Spending some time with Ron and Harry, along with Ginny.

When it was my turn to come to Hogwarts, let's just say it was a bit of a bumpy road. A certain professor with a purple turban who just so happened to have Voldemort at the back of his head, nearly killed us during our first year.

The following year after that, the legendary Chamber of Secrets was reopened and Voldemort's 16 year old self practically possessed Ginny for most of the year.

With the third year closing in, I'm simply praying that if there is going to be a life-threatening situation I'll be put in, may it be less dangerous than the ones before.

[the1weepinqguitar]

Why am I not surprised?

[img]http://www.rdos.net/eng/poly10c.php?p1=100&p2=80&p3=56&p4=65&p5=95&p6=100&p7=81&p8=67&p9=72&p10=74[/img]

so yeah i've been thinking abt it a lot.

autism.

[warning, this may become a rant. I feel super strongly about this topic and I think I should talk about my experiences with it.]

my dad has it really bad, his social skills are absolute crap. he has severe social anxiety and hyperfixates on stuff. i love 'im tho. he's wonderful when he gets out of his shell.

my sister has it too. she has a lot of trouble making friends at school and straight up avoids other kids her age because they think she's weird. she doesn't talk unless prompted to, and even then she doesn't say much. she hums to herself and stims a lot. she was diagnosed when she was a toddler, but my dad just found out abt his.

i think im just high-functioning, because although my social skills aren't great, i can still maintain relatively positive relationships with people without them dumping me for cooler people. i hyperfixate on random things from my ever-growing hoard of cds to my musical interests. i struggle a lot in school (and have the entire time) with paying attention and staying focused in classes I don't like. I was first labelled as "gifted" in second or third grade (us schools amiright)

I have gotten reprimanded many times for this because I "don't try hard enough to focus". I get so fucking pissed when my mom tells me to just "try harder" because sometimes i just can't do it, no matter what the punishment will be if I fail. Sometimes I can't.

It's hard sometimes because I have three younger siblings and I have to watch them and play with them for hours every day. I get drained really fast and I always end up shrinking back into my room, which gets me in huge trouble because I'm the oldest and it's my responsibility.

My mom insists that nothing is wrong and refuses to let me get therapy because she feels things like my gender and whether i'm neurodivergent or not don't matter in the "real" world (she pulled me out of therapy last year because i was trying to talk to my therapist about my gender dysphoria. And yes, I had to tell my mom what we talked about during each session or else I would've gotten punished. thanks, mom.). I don't feel valid in my home. I don't feel heard.

[pronoun pins, pride flags and fidget toys are banned in my home. I kept a secret fidget cube up until recently when my mom found it and got rid of it. little does she know, i also have a secret glow-in-the-dark fidget spinner i received a couple years back]

So here I am on my Tumblr blog of all places ranting about my shitty feelings and now you have to hear all about it. I'm sorry. I ran out of people to talk to.

Feel free to chat with me, it feels nice to actually be able to feel my real feelings.

have a nice day.

-ivan

[mysticalibra1994]

My thoughts on the upcoming Sonic movie...

So, this is coming from my personal life so it will come off as a bias.

When I lost my mom from a gran mal during my middle school years, I felt lost. Somehow, I discovered the series "Sonic X" and that was when I came across a character named Shadow the Hedgehog. As I read and got to know more about his past, I've grown attached; he became my first comfort character...

Ever since I began writing fanfictions that relate to Shadow in my composition notebooks; of course, I have gotten in trouble during class... The fanfiction would contain the origins of my fanmade (or OC) character who came across Shadow when he crash-landed nearby her family's home, took him in, tended to his wounds (even though his injuries healed on their own), and their friendship became a bit rocky at the start. But, eventually, their relationship increased naturally.

Their relationship did take a slight/brief pause when Shadow nearly got hit by some kind of weapon, but my OC took the hit instead. As her injuries healed in the hospital, Shadow never left her side; especially when she transformed into a Mobian Cat. As she recovered, she made her choice to live with Shadow on the same planet/universe(?) where Sonic and his friends are from.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now, that was from before...

Ever since I saw the Sonic the Hedgehog movies (both 1 and 2), the moment they mentioned "Project Shadow", my ADHD told my hands to "start stimming"!

Then, I decided to make various headcanons, and a select few were related to Dr. Robotnik, Shadow, and Maria... V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V

On a crisp, cool morning in Green Hills, MT. Rosaline Forrest gets ready to do her morning outings (that she does every day); where she would walk into town for her usual breakfast (which she would order iced tea or hot chocolate, depending on the weather) that consists of hearty keto meals. Then, she would walk into the woods to enjoy being alive... That is until she accidentally got in the middle of a battle with Dr. Robotnik and Sonic (in Super mode), which knocked her unconscious.

As the smoke clears the G.U.N. started doing a sweep, Agent Stone (in disguise) came across Rosaline and informs the others. While she went in and out for a while, she hears a faint voice... She slowly gains consciousness and starts hearing more voices, but not from before. She meets Agent Stone as he sneaks Dr. Robotnik into her room (I assumed that Stone tended to Dr. Robotnik's wounds after they faked his death). Suddenly, Dr. Robotnik felt off... Like he knew her. But, he actually knew "her". After recovering, Rosaline has been given a task; to retrieve the living essence of Project Shadow. Just like before, Shadow grows attached to her. Well, not her, but "her".

Their meeting with the Wachowski's was... a little rocky. It started off smoothly until Sonic mentioned their family name. Shadow suddenly attacks Tom, crying "YOU TOOK HER AWAY!!!" Suddenly, a gun goes off...

It belongs to Tom's dad, Charles Wachowski. Due to how long it's been since he's retired, I would believe that he's about as old-fashioned as "that one relative in our family that claims to be open-minded... until they drink". So, when the group (excluding Shadow for... personal reasons) explains to him what's been going on...

"So, you're telling me that the girl I shot is still around, and is in that girl over there; the one whose hair matches your wife's skin? Ha! I'm sorry, but that's just as impossible as changing genders!"

Meanwhile, Dr. Robotnik is growing irritated about why "she" wouldn't remember him. Despite being loyal to him, Agent Stone would be at his limit and accidentally snap. "Because your cousin's gone! I-I'm sorry, sir. But, with all due respect, living in the past is not healthy." Then, he would notice a shift in the atmosphere... "Alright, let's say that Maria's spirit is around and in that girl (which does explain the flatline). We can't force her to remember the incident that happened 50 years ago." "But," the doctor said, "what if we can! Stone! If my memory is correct, as is, then my late grandfather has some hidden documents that are STILL in the computers of the Space Colony ARK! Momma didn't raise a single-digit IQ and Poppa raised milk and never came back!" "I- Of course, they didn't, Doctor."

Back to the Wachowski residence... Sonic meets Shadow up on the roof, looking up at the stars.

"So, uh... Do you think they'll like the chili dogs?" "Blue Hedgehog, I have more important issues to deal with. "You mean 'Mari'-" "Keep her name out of your mouth, Hedgehog! You have no idea what it's like to lose someone who's close to you." "Her name was Longclaw. I didn't really know my real parents, but she took me in as her own. I passed the hoglet stage when she gave up her life to protect me and the Rings from the Echidnas." "'Echidnas'? You mean like that red one? You two were enemies, yet you're no longer." "Welcome to Earth." "I don't get it." "You've never seen 'Independence Day' starring Will Smith?! What year are you from?" "1974. The location is the Space Colony ARK. I was created by Prof. Robotnik in order to find the cure for Maria's condition. I grew a sibling-like attachment to her. We would talk about everything, mostly about the Earth and when we would visit. But, the GUN wanted to stop the Project. They didn't even explain why. Maria and I saw their weapons and we headed for the escape pods. Suddenly, I felt a push and I- I heard a gun going off. Before I could understand what was going on, I was in the pod and Maria... S-she took th-"

Before Shadow could finish, Sonic stopped him with an embrace; saying that he doesn't have to say anymore...

Meanwhile, at the Space Colony ARK, Agent Stone was growing concerned about Dr. Robotnik's mental health. He understands that Maria was his only family, but at some point, the doctor will have to let her go... Suddenly, something happened. By the time Dr. Robotnik played a video diary of his late grandfather, the timer of the Bio-Lizard goes off.

I-I don't understand! I thought Project Shadow was to protect her and humanity! Why would he-? Dr. Robotnik is... stunned. Too stunned to speak. In his mind, he's rekilling his only family.

"Doctor? What do we do? D-Doctor? Doctor! Ivo!! We have to leave, now!" "B-but, Maria..." "Don't worry, we'll save her. Come on!"

Nobody outside of the Robotnik Family has ever used his first name before. But, if it wasn't for Agent Stone's quick thinking, they would be too late...

As soon as they arrived at the Wachowski residence, they warned the others (of course, Tom's father mentions something homophobic when he saw Agent Stone comforting Dr. Robotnik "like a husband comforts his wife during a panic attack").

"Dad, it's the 21st century! We can marry who we love as long as it's consensual! Plus, I'm not surprised that you find that surprising and not the fact that the world is about to be destroyed!" "Well, of course, it's gonna be destroyed! These two Skittles are in love!" "Dad!"

While the two beings fuss at each other, Tails, Agent Stone, and Dr. Robotnik are working together to find a solution to save the world.

"That may be plausible, but in order to harness that kind of power... It's impossible." "We could use the Chaos Emeralds, but we need the Master Emerald."

When Knuckles hears about this, he hesitates at first; not wanting to give the Master Emerald to anyone who's as evil as Dr. Robotnik. But, when discussing this with Sonic and Shadow. Sonic is all for it, but Shadow...

"Let the world burn. It wasn't there for Maria, why should I help?"

Shadow was about to leave, when Rosaline stops him as she tries to convince him...

"Shadow, please listen to me. What do you think my promise was?" "Y-you..." "Yes, I knew. I've always known. The reason why I never said anything was that I was adjusting to this new timeline. Shadow, yes, I was angry about what happened to me all of those years ago. But, when my soul was wandering throughout the years, I noticed something. Something amazing about this planet and the people who lived on it... Yes, there are bad people out there. But, there are good people out there, too. Like my cousin and his partner, the Wachowskis, and the nice people in this quaint and unique town of Green Hills. My promise to you was, is, and always will be this... For all of the people who live on Earth, give them a chance to be happy. Let them live their dreams."

Everyone around them gave them a moment when Agent Stone notice Shadow's eyes begin welling up with tears. Rosaline gently pulls him in for an embrace of a lifetime.

"Shadow, I know you can do it. That's the reason why you were brought into this world."

After wiping his eyes, Shadow accepts the offer and thanks her for those kind words. Tom and Maddie offer to watch over Rosaline as the others (except Tom's dad... for obvious reasons) work together as they make it to the ARK.

At the ARK, Knuckles allow Sonic and Shadow to harness the power of the Chaos Emeralds to become Super Sonic and Super Shadow. As the two Super hedgehogs try to use the power of the Chaos Emeralds to Chaos Control the Bioweapon, the one and only thing that him Shadow going is Maria. He notices that Sonic is slowly getting a bit winded, so he takes over, removes his Inhibitor Rings, and delivers the final "CHAOS... CONTROL!!!!!"

He did it... The world is saved! Sonic turns to thank Shadow, but he notices that the energy from the fight has been depleted from Shadow and his light-golden quills turn black. As Shadow falls, he notices that Sonic is reaching out for him. The fading black hedgehog bats Sonic's hand away. As he continues falling, Shadow only had one thought before becoming unconscious...

"Maria... this is what you wanted, right? This is the promise I made to you..."

The rest of the group is patiently waiting for their return. Even Dr. Robotnik is hold Agent Stone's hand; he lies and claims it's for the nerves. Sonic is back! They all congratulate him, even Dr. Robotnik and Agent Stone. Of course, the doctor wonders where Shadow is. Sonic answers with a saddened: "He gave his life for all of us."

The group is shocked with melancholy. Agent Stone and Dr. Robotnik talk about this as they looked out the bay window.

"This place... I remember seeing her looking out through this window with him. I would visit as often as I could." "Doctor, I-" "It's alright, you can call me 'Ivo'." "I- Ivo, I'm sorry for what I said related to Maria. I was just worried about you and your mental state. Ever since you ended up on the mushroom planet, I felt... lost without you. I-I know that you said that you wouldn't miss me when I'm gone, but I-" "Hush, Stone. I know."

After they say their final words, they make their way back to Earth. Dr. Robotnik sends Rosaline his condolences as Sonic hands her one of Shadow's Inhibitor Rings.

"Rosaline... Maria..." Agent Stone grievingly said, "If it counts, he fought bravely along with Sonic."

Before Rosaline could say anything, the group collectively felt a chill down their spines when they hear the spirit of Maria saying this before she parted ways...

"Thank you all for saving this planet..."

Then, Rosaline loses consciousness, but Dr. Robotnik catches her before she makes an impact. She awakes in the hospital. This time, she's surrounded by the Wachowskis, Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, Dr. Robotnik, and Agent Stone. When asked how she's still alive, Agent Stone answered by saying that when the flatline happened, he grabbed a "soul jar" to contain Rosaline's soul when Maria's soul slipped in. Rosaline thanks him as she makes a full recovery.

After being released from the hospital, Rosaline chose to stay with the Wachowskis... as they prepare a wedding for Dr. Robotnik and Agent Stone. It wasn't certain which one proposed to who; Agent Stone went down on one knee, and Dr. Robotnik claimed that he thought about it first. During the "big damn kiss", Rosaline caught a glimpse of Maria's smiling spirit.

After the wedding, Rosaline watches a movie with Jojo. Then all of a sudden, they heard a medium-sized boom-like thud. When they went outside (to the backyard) to check, they came across a medium-sized hole in the yard. After investigating the crash, Rosaline tells Jojo to get the First-Aid kit as she carefully pulls out a familiar-looking black hedgehog out of the small crater.

While Rosaline tends to his wounds (again, it was unnecessary due to his wound slowly regenerating, but she didn't know), Shadow slowly comes to. Before the movie ends, it wasn't certain whether he remembers her or remembers "her". All that we know for certain is that he smiled the moment their eyes met.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well, what do you guys think?

I'd like to believe that Rosaline would help Shadow with his memories as best as she can (with a little help from Maria's spirit that visits when needed).

As for the "after credits scene", I'd like to believe that a familiar-looking futuristic hedgehog jumps out of the portal, notices Sonic and goes... "I finally found him, the Iblis Trigger."

[journalofimprobablethings]

Writing Masterpost

Hello!

I've finally gotten around to doing some blog maintenance and making a masterpost of all of the writing I've posted on here. If you've found my blog because of a fic post and want to know if there is more where that came from, you're in the right place!

I write mainly fic for The Magnus Archives and TAZ Balance, with a few original things thrown in for spice! Most links stay on Tumblr, but I've also got some of my longer pieces on AO3 linked here as well.

List is under the cut, and thanks for being here!

MAGNUS ARCHIVES FIC

One-shots & multi-chaps (links to AO3):

present tense - Safehouse-era love confessions, the world didn't end edition.

will you remember me - Somewhere Else coffee shop au! Martin is intrigued by an attractive stranger who comes into his coffee shop, especially when they have an intense reaction to seeing him.

why can't the words I need ever come to me  - Research-era Jon finds Tim crying in the bathroom. He tries to help.

slippage (4 chapters) - Jon starts to forget while he and Martin are still in Upton House. Martin has to try to get him out before he forgets everything.

something to hold onto - Tim & Jon s2 reconciliation, with background jondanny

a promise and a prayer - alternate ending to TheOestofOC's The Kindness of Strangers; or, what if Jon & Tim had reconciled before the Unknowing

these constellations will guide you back - What if Martin had been the one to find Jon trying to get his "anchor" for the coffin instead of Melanie?

Tumblr ficlets:

Somewhere Else coffee shop AU: snippet 1 (Martin) snippet 2 (Jon)

Tim & Jon's Excellent American Adventure: 1 (at the airport) 2 (there was only one bed (platonic) aka literal sleeping together) 3 (statement dependence)

Dad!Jon: Jon has always had trouble imagining the future They name her Sasha

yet broken, still you breathe - Jon & Martin listen to The Amazing Devil

life's but a walking shadow - Martin gets Jon to recite some poetry (aka Jon is a Shakespeare nerd)

i will bring you ruin - Jon Sees Jonah's plans before he goes into the Lonely

Other snippets:

Post-Circus Jon angst

JonTim Literal Sleeping Together: China Edition

Martin & Tim say goodbye before the Unknowing

Not-Sasha visits the Trophy Room

Martin can bake?! - s1 Archive gang fluff

Somewhere Else - an explorations of possiblities

Peter Lukas is having a marvelous time.

Message from Jon to Martin, several days after his return from the Buried.

TAZ FIC

One-shots (links go to AO3)

L-U-P (multi-chap, ongoing) - What if Lucretia saw Lup's name burned into the wall and figured out where Lup was? Lup gets out of the umbrella early, and she and Lucretia team up to save the world.

take me back to the start - The Chalice makes Lucretia an offer, and she has to decide what price she is willing to pay for a second chance.

without you - Magnus and Lucretia have only been together, really together, for a couple weeks. When a routine scouting mission goes wrong, he has to face to prospect of nearly a year without her. Magnus/Lucretia fic set during Stolen Century.

a recipe for home - Taako tries to cook for the first time since Glamour Springs. When it goes wrong, Lucretia is there to lend a hand. Set during between the second Lunar Interlude and Petals.

by means of heat and time - Taako gives Angus a cooking lesson (a lifetime ago, Taako gives Lucretia a cooking lesson) - TAZ November Celebration Day 23 - Cooking

how this grace thing works - Taako helps Lucretia with post S&S nightmares, and maybe, just maybe, something starts to heal.

Eventually - Kravitz told Magnus he and Julia would eventually have to re-join the rest of the souls in the astral sea. He never thought about what he would do when “eventually” finally came.

Tumblr ficlets

hold on tight - The Birds get together for a family dinner after Story and Song, and Magnus and Lucretia have a talk about what it means to deserve a happy ending.

"Today's gonna be the best!" - The Birds have a snow day.

Barry is falling. - The moment right after Barry falls from the Starblaster, when he realizes what Lucretia has done.

What if Barry found Lup in Wave Echo Cave? - Barry finds Lup, and has to find a way to hold himself together.

“Shh, they’ll hear us!” - Taako and Angus plan a surprise.

TAZ November Celebration Day 21 - Night - A lil quiet moment between Davenport & Lucretia during Stolen Century.

TAZ November Celebration Day 17 - Rest - The crew of the Starblaster take a much-needed pause.

TAZ November Celebration Day 3 - Warmth - Taakitz Modern AU ficlet. Fluff!

almost home - Magnus returns to Raven’s Roost. (and an answer to the question, how did Magnus get Julia’s ring back?)

Metas/snippets

The Director aways has music playing in her office.

Lucretia never met the Judges in Cycle 65.

The birds and hugs

What if Raven’s Roost never fell?

The Light of Creation isn’t sentient, exactly.

If Lucretia saw Lup’s name burned into the wall and figured out where Lup was

Lucretia doesn’t remember the first time the Bulwark Staff spoke to her.

Lucretia wakes up in a white space.

After Story and Song, Davenport leaves. Lucretia says goodbye.

ORIGINAL WORK Sometimes I post things on here that aren’t fic!

Macbeth in the living room - A short written at the beginning of quarantine, before we really understood anything about how the virus actually worked. The mechanics of distancing are So Wrong but the sentiment is there. It’s a time capsule of a moment.

The One Who Stays Behind (short story)

OTHER BITS AND BOBS

Thoughts on wonder

Babel by RF Kuang time-travel fix-it (ish)

[just-a-dumb-gay]

I think I just found out why i crave validation online from strangers (like comments on fanfics). And why praise and compliments on something I done always make me so happy.

I rarely got rewards as a kid for doing good things. And Ive gotten even less as I've grown up.

TL;DR (because there's explanation and tangenting below the cut): I pretty much never get or have gotten praise or rewards or anything similar because I was doing things that I should be doing anyways because society perceives it all as normal and easy and it's only gotten worse as Ive gotten older. So now my achievements and cool stuff being acknowledged with genuine enthusiasm means the world.

SO GO GIVE POSITIVE VIBES TO YOUR FRIENDS, YOUR FAMILY, ESPECIALLY ANY KIDS IN YOUR LIFE, EVEN JUST A REALLY COOL STRANGER ONLINE!! IT MAKES SO MUCH MORE OF A DIFFERENCE THAN A LOT OF PEOPLE REALIZE!

Actual accomplishments? Nope. Perfect report cards (minus attendance because I'm not superhuman, I got sick like 99% of other kids. And just gym ew it was so boring) and endless praise during parents night (because gifted kid plus a pile of anxiety and autism that was scared to get in trouble).

Now I wanna specify I did get little things like some sweets or like a couple pounds as pocket money but that was 9/10 times for helping with chores or something that I didn't HAVE to help with. Those things I done because I wanted to help, and ngl a few of the tasks were fun so I wanted to do them without expecting anything in return. So just a quick side note but still somewhat relevant.

I should also specify since the adult Im closest to is my dad, his opinion and everything means way more tor me than it should.

I never even got a simple "I'm proud of you" from my dad (who has seen me every day minus like a month in total in my entire 18 years of living). And he taught me A LOT outside of school. Life skills, creative skills, problem solving skills. Even when I do good with all of that honestly I don't think he's ever said that to me even Once. Now I don't have it as bad as many many others because I would still get things like "Good job" or "Well done" but they were kinda half hearted and its still taken its toll on me. (Because even though others have something worse doesn't mean we're not allowed to have strong feelings about our personal situation)

I have an abundance of health issues and doing so many things has became extremely challenging for me. Yesterday, I went to my first medical appointment completely alone, and it was a dentist appointment and I have deppresso teeth so dentists are terrifying. When my dad got home from work I was telling him about it and everything and how happy I was it went well despite now having a temporary filling in a tooth Im most likely gonna lose. Yknow what his reaction was after I had tangented for like 10 minutes out of happiness then had to stop and take a breath? "Okay I'm gonna finish eating my dinner now" in his 'im pretending to joke yet I'm being serious' tone (which is a whole other issue). Like... dude... I managed to do my first bus journey, medical appointment and mild medical procedure completely 100% alone, 3 things that absolutely terrify me, AND YOU CARE MORE ABOUT YOUR FOOD?!

My partner said they were proud of me multiple times yesterday. My friend hyped me up and offered enthusiastic and entertaining support. Those 2 and 2 other friends (one I dont speak to quite as regular and another who ive been friends with for roughly 9 years and am super close to but we talk like 1 or 2 times a month) are always super supportive in their own individual ways and Im still not used to it, and I don't think I ever will be.

So I guess long tangent short. My accomplishments were always just treated as average things that were expected of me similar to just simply being at school on time. And anything I created usually had a flaw pointed out (not in a constructive criticism way, Im always open to constructive criticism) and the most that'd be said is "Looks good" or "Thats nice". So now praise and/or enthusiastic support (both are equal to me) for accomplishments mean the absolute world. And comments on fanfics or any other sort of positive acknowledgement of something I created makes me feel like what I done was actually a good use of my time.

I could say a lot more but I just need to rant for a bit, and this is probably gonna get like 3 notes max.

[dredshirtroberts]

today is my mom's birthday. and i hate her.

i hate her for not being curious or sharing what she did know about our family's health issues. i hate her for not paying attention to her children when they needed her. i hate her for not paying attention to me for decades unless it benefited her. i hate her for having gotten a special super duper surprise birthday theme for her 51st birthday when the very next month for my Actual Milestone Birthday of turning 30 (which my family has always treated as special) i got BLATANTLY ignored on MULTIPLE points in the "evening of festivities" including WHILE EATING MY SPECIAL DINNER (which was a backup option because the whole plan for my birthday i had was thrown out for whatever SHE wanted to plan instead). as in i ate it almost completely alone in a different room because no one wanted to choose to sit with me. For my own fucking birthday.

i hate her for hating herself so loudly and specifically that i know why she doesn't like me. I wear her face better than she does, and she's angry she doesn't think she looks hot and I do. And I can't point out that i look just like her or i risk pointing a mirror at her and going "So you *don't* love me, because i look like all the things you hate". But if I point out I look like any of dad's family i don't because then i'm trying too hard to be a boy which she hates.

i hate her. i hate her for never taking us to the doctor. i hate her.

i hate her because she was supposed to love me. but she didn't.

and now that i've rescinded my love... now what?

i can't call dad if my tire blows out on the highway. I couldn't do that even before I stopped talking to them because of how far away I am now, but... now I really can't. All I'd get is a lecture on how dangerous i'm probably being (even if the reason for the car troubles is in no way my fault, it has to be my fault. it's always my fault.) and told to figure it out for myself once the panic is over.

i've never been able to call my mom for anything.

Ever.

she was never the person i went to. she couldn't be. she probably wanted to be on occasion, but she never did the work either.

In cutting my parents off, i really didn't actually lose anything. the amount of contact i've had with them since i blocked them everywhere last July has been about on par as what it used to be before i stopped talking to them - just without the anxiety of a potential reemergence of them into my life.

and i hate my mother. and there might be a hole in my heart (non-metaphorical, and also non-concerning, somehow). and i hate my mother.

[casspurrjoybellbittner]

Wreckless - Careful He-man

*Warning Adult Content*

Finnegan

The bath feels fantastic but I don't stay in too long because one... the movie two... I've been in water all day and three... Emmett is out in the bedroom on the cell-phone.

He told me it was his dad which may be really, really confusing for him right now.

I crack myself up.

I get myself settled on the couch and he comes down looking upset.

"I'm sorry, I wanted to help you out of the tub. You shouldn't have to do this right now."

"I'm okay. Can you sit with me?"

And somehow I am.

Did I prefer last time when he wrapped me all up?

Of course.

Am I incapable of drying myself off and slipping on some undies?

No.

"Of course, let me get us something to drink."

I didn't realize how thirsty I am until he says that.

"Please."

I suck down about half the bottle and he's watching me, wide-eyed, when I finish.

"You must have gotten into trouble in college, Finn. That's a heck of a chug."

I shrug because my brain immediately tries to think of a sucking cock joke.

Swallowing, am I right?

All the better to suck your cock with, my dear?

No, crap, now it's too late.

"Need anything else?"

"Just you."

"I hope you're not too sore, Finn, was that too much?"

"Shhh, movie. I'm okay. Can we talk about it tomorrow?"

I wanna stay in the little bit of headspace I have and watch my movie.

Then it's story time.

I can adult tomorrow.

"Of course, sorry."

There's only about twenty minutes left and I look at the clock when it's over.

"It's the weekend, you can stay up a little later if you want to."

I do but story.

Plus, he looks tired.

"No, wanna snuggle. You'll read to me?"

"I promised, didn't I? Brush your teeth first and I'll meet you up there."

"Kay."

He has adult house crap to do but I don't.

I just have to brush my teeth and climb into bed and it's glorious.

He brings me up my night cup and then steals the bathroom for a minute.

I worry that he's worried.

As he's climbing in to bed I tell him.

"I had a lot of fun tonight Emmett... lots."

He smiles at me and kisses my cheek.

"Good. Me too, darling. Now, chapter three."

********

Sunday morning I have to almost beg him to fuck my face.

He's sure as hell into it once he does and I think he's just worried that it might be too much but it's my ass that's sore, not my throat.

I shower first, like always because I am definitely stickiest, then lounge around until he's done.

"Let's scrounge up something for breakfast," he says and I am definitely all for that plan.

"Do you have any cereal?"

"I do. Or I could make waffles or eggs."

His kitchen is much better stocked then mine.

"Um, then I want waffles please."

"You got it."

I sit at the table because I can see him from here and he reaches into a cabinet and grabs a box of pancake mix.

A bowl, spoon, measuring cup and waffle iron appear and then he opens the box.

It's new and he pulls the full bag up a little bit so that he can get a good grip on it.

Then he pulls. Too hard.

Pancake mix erupts like Mt. Vesuvius and flies through the air, covering half the kitchen.

"Careful He-man," I joke, trying not to breathe it in or laugh too hard.

"You're only supposed to be rough with me, Emmett, not with everything."

He was pissed but now he's smiling and he sits down next to me.

He has mix in his hair, on his shoulders and all over his shirt.

"You made a mess."

"Yes I did. Let me get this cleaned up real quick and I'll see if there's enough left to make some waffles."

He brings out the vacuum and then wipes down most of the surfaces in the kitchen.

"I'm gonna need a shower, I think."

I'm not arguing, he's right.

"I can make the waffles."

"No, damn it, you're gonna let me take care of you a little bit before you run away back to the big, bad world."

Not arguing with that either.

"Okay, I'll wait."

While he's gone I think about his big, bad world comment and I realize that it's Sunday and I should be in mass.

I've missed a few weeks lately and after yesterday I probably need it more than ever.

I can still make the late mass if I leave after breakfast and I have a suit here.

Yes, I should go, it'll do me good.

"Back, let's make some waffles."

He was quick.

The waffles don't take long either and he gives me the first one.

I'm halfway done when he sits down and I tell him that I want to leave in about half an hour so I can make it to mass.

"I have no problem with you going to church Finnegan, none but I was hoping we'd talk today. I think we need to. Any chance you want to come back afterwards? I wasn't expecting that and honestly I should just go home because I've monopolized most of his weekend but he's asking and I don't want to go back to my apartment. Work is going to suck this week because of my Monday being all screwed up and even though I am sexually more than satisfied, I still want to be with him.

"If you want. Sure you're not tired of me yet?"

"Not at all, darling."

"Okay then, I will... I'll be gone two, two and a half hours or so?" 

I have no idea what traffic will be like on a Sunday.

"That's fine. Now that you've agreed to come back I have to warn you that I'm going to my dad and stepmom's for dinner. You're welcome to come or not and you can spend the night or not. Whatever you need, Finnegan."

Well that complicates things. 

"Parental units is a big step, Emmett. Can I decide after church?"

"Yep. I'm going to the grocery store, do you want anything?"

"More waffle mix?" I offer.

"Yes, smart Alec, I will get more waffle mix. Anything else? Anything you'd like for snacks or for supper this week?"

"Um, I like popcorn a lot. Whatever you make is always yummy." 

That's probably not super helpful. 

"Can I give you some money for groceries?  Please? It's not fair for you to buy it all and then do the cooking too, Emmett. Please?"

"Fine, if you wanna toss me twenty dollars I'll put it towards groceries but that's it, you've gotta stop offering."

Not happening. 

I kiss him quickly on his cheek and then run upstairs to change. 

On my way out I leave one hundred on the coffee table and remind myself to stop by an ATM on the way back so I have cash for lunches this week.

[surveysand]

six.

What is in the back seat of your car right now? i don't have a car.

What was the last thing you threw up? alcohol.

Menthol or regular cigarettes? gross, neither.

What is your favorite episode of Friends? while i've seen some episodes of the show, i don't remember enough to have a favorite.

Does anyone have any blackmail on you? i don't think so.

If you could marry any celebrity today who would it be? phoebe bridgers. i think her and i would mesh well, lol.

Have you been to a strip club? no.

Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you? yes.

Are you wearing socks right now? no.

What was the last thing you had to drink? water.

What are you wearing right now? a t-shirt and shorts.

Last food you ate? pasta.

Have you bought any clothing items in the last week? no.

When is the last time you ran? i have no idea.

What’s the last sporting event you watched? the most recent phillies game.

Last person’s house you were in? my partner's family's home.

Last movie you saw? in theaters? a star is born. i desperately want to see the barbie movie once it's out, though. my partner said he would go see it with me because of how much i've been talking about it, haha.

Who is the last person you sent a message to on Facebook? my best friend.

Ever go to camp? no.

Were you an honor roll student in school? yes.

Do you like sushi? yes.

Do you have a tan? never. i am so pale and always burn, lol.

How old do you want to be when you have kids? 30 is most ideal in my mind. i'll (ideally) be done with all of my graduate schooling by then.

Have you ever drank your soda from a straw? yes.

What is your age? 22.

Are you someone’s best friend? yes.

Where is your dad right now? sleeping at home. What was the last thing you said? "did i pause it?" when i went to the bathroom and couldn't remember if i paused my show before i got up (i did not, lol.).

What color is your watch? i don't wear watches.

What do you think of when you think of Australia? accents.

Ever ridden on a roller coaster? yes.

Favorite gemstone? sapphires.

Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? typically the drive thru.

Do you have a roommate? no. Do you have any bad habits? many. the biggest is probably incessantly biting/picking my lips. it's my go-to behavior when i'm feeling anxious which is a lot of the time.

What is your favorite number? 21.

Do you know anyone named Lori? no.

What color is your mom’s hair? dark brown.

Do you have a dog? yes! i love him.

What happened to you in 1993? i was still an egg, haha.

Does your first memory involve your dad? yes, actually.

Do you remember singing any songs as kids? so many. i've always loved to sing and play music.

When was the last time you went swimming? two summers ago.

Has your luggage ever gotten lost? no.

Biggest annoyance in your life right this minute? troubles finding a job.

Have you ever thought it would be cool to smash a guitar? yes, but only if it wasn't salvageable/able to be played anymore.

Do you like watching a bonfire? i guess.

Are you allergic to anything? not officially, but i'm pretty sure i'm allergic to pollen.

What is one thing you miss about your past? not having to pay rent.

Do you ever get flu shots? yes.

Favorite shoes that you wear all the time? white high top converse.

What is one thing you’ve learned about life recently? fuck around and find out.

Are you jealous of anyone? yes.

Is anyone jealous of you? not that i know of.

[timeoverload]

I have spent a lot of my weekend sleeping but I keep having horribly vivid nightmares. I woke up at 5 because I had another one.

I've had to cut down on smoking a lot (against my will) since the person that was helping me with that is strung out on coke now or something and I don't feel safe going over there anymore. They have changed a lot and I can't trust someone in that state, especially when they have weapons laying around. I don't want to be around that stuff and I'm not going to put myself in a potentially dangerous position just for that. I'm not sure what I'm going to do now but I will probably have to stop entirely since I don't really talk to anyone anymore. I'm pissed that I can't just go to the store and get it myself and I wish it was legal here. It's so much better than drinking all the time and I haven't really wanted to do that either. I don't handle hangovers very well anymore. It's probably good for me to take a bit of a break but I hate it and I'm grumpy. I think that has contributed to me having more nightmares and definitely isn't helping with my pain, appetite, or my mood. I thought I would be more motivated without it too but now it's worse.

I decided to get up and force myself to go to the grocery store this morning since I couldn't fall back asleep. I bought way more stuff than I normally do so hopefully I can get myself to eat more. I like going to the store really early when there aren't very many people there so I don't get overstimulated and feel like I need to rush out of there. I don't feel like I did that much but I'm worn out again. I also feel like I have a migraine coming on. I need to force myself to get more stuff done today and tomorrow. It feels like any time I make any progress, I have to start over again. I'm tired of it being that way.

I greatly appreciate my family letting me live here for free because I would probably be homeless otherwise but I really wish I had a little more room. I really like my bedroom but with all of the stuff in here it feels small and overwhelming. I really miss having my own bathroom and my washer and dryer. It is nice not having to pay rent since I was spending almost $1000 a month on that since I usually ended up having to cover most of it. I like being able to save some money and also buy myself the things I always wanted when I wasn't allowed to spend money on myself without getting in trouble. I've made quite a bit of progress with paying off my debt too.

I guess I've still been feeling a little bitter though because the person who ruined my life has gotten to live comfortably in a brand new place since I left and I have had to struggle to do everything. I'm still angry with his family for treating me like I'm a bad person and spoiling him when they witnessed how he treated me and they were fine with it but I don't think they ever liked me or understood me anyway. They could tell I was traumatized and I wanted to tell them that he hurt me but I couldn't trust them. I also couldn't sleep at night without worrying that he would do something to me while I was unconscious. He was a creep and lacked self-control. He didn't get my permission. He didn't have respect for my bodily autonomy. I remember him insulting my appearance and then later trying to say he was just joking. Apparently no one ever taught him that it's not ok to hit a woman either until I came along. I remember him responding to my panic attacks by trying to wrestle me and pin me down and I had bruises on my arms from trying to get away from him. Sadly that's not the worst thing he did to me. There is a lot of mental illness and violence in his family too. It got to the point where I had to start fighting back and I'm not that kind of person. I didn't like how he and his dad started buying lots of guns and it made me uncomfortable to know there was one in the closet when we lived in the apartment. I don't miss getting screamed at on a regular basis either and getting in trouble for doing anything. Mental illness isn't an excuse in my opinion and he refused to get on medication until after I broke up with him and tried to use that as leverage to get back together but obviously I said no. He also wrote me a 40 page love letter and forced me to sit on the couch while he read it to me after we broke up even after I begged him to stop and was crying. He also went and got tattoos on his arms that matched the color and theme of the ones I have after we broke up because he wanted to match and I thought that was weird. He was just being obsessive and wouldn't leave me alone for a while even when I would ignore him. His mom always hated me too because I "took her son away from her" when he was the one who pursued me initially and wouldn't back off until I decided to date him. It still grosses me out that his dad also tried to sexually harass me on multiple occasions when he was trashed and I was still expected to be around him despite my complaints. I want to warn his current girlfriend about him because I don't want to see anyone else get hurt but it isn't my place to do so. I'm happy he moved on. I don't miss him and I don't care that he's with someone else but I just hope he treats her better than he treated me. I know I wasn't the perfect girlfriend but I spoiled him and did everything he asked me to do and it still wasn't enough. I let him manipulate and control me for so long and I had to relearn how to make decisions for myself. I'm so happy I never have to see those people again. I would never go back. I can't say they never did anything for me but they definitely didn't treat me with respect a lot of the time. I'm really surprised that our last conversation was amicable considering what a nightmare it was trying to get out of there. Lately I have been thinking about all of the bad things that happened to me during the time I spent with him and I know I made the right decision to leave. I don't think he ever truly loved me because that's not how you treat someone you love. I'm so thankful we never had any children together despite him pressuring me to do so. I couldn't imagine trying to raise a child in that environment. It wasn't healthy at all. I spent so long questioning my reality and wondering if I was as evil as he said I was. Unfortunately those memories have been resurfacing in my nightmares and I feel like I need to talk about it because it has been bothering me. I definitely have PTSD from that situation. I'm glad that I feel safe here with my family because I never want to experience that again.

I know I will always have a home here. I know my dad has tried really hard to be patient with me and make me happy and I'm not sure where I would be without him right now. He stepped up and took care of us when my mom couldn't do it anymore while trying to work full time and take care of the house. I know that being a single parent isn't easy. He has a lot of responsibilities and things to worry about and I don't want him to be super stressed out all the time. He doesn't show it but I know he is. I'm thankful that he has helped me take care of the cats too because it has been difficult for me to do anything. I wish I could do more for him and help him more and maybe I will be in a place soon where I am able to do that because he deserves it. He hasn't had an easy life and has worked really hard and I think he needs to take a vacation soon. I definitely feel like I owe him a lot for helping me get my life back.

I just can't wait to get out of this slump because I don't think I have ever been this bad. I know I'm capable and I'm not giving up on myself. I think I am also getting stir crazy because I have been cooped up in here for a long time now. The weather has been really nice lately and I want to go outside more because my vitamin D is extremely low but I don't really like going for walks by myself because of past experiences. I really hope I can get out and do something fun this summer because I really need it. I'm going to enjoy the rest of my day and try to stop thinking about bad stuff so much.

[dakilove]

Caught

After staying a few weeks in Washington the police finally got to us. We were eventually caught and put in the back of a police car, heading for South Park. 

"Damn it were really screwed," Nohemi says 

"At least we tried" I said.

"What do you think our parents are gonna say,"

"I don't know and I don't think they'll be too understanding." 

"I guess this is truly goodbye," Nohemi says while leaning onto me. 

Hours passed by and we finally made it to South Park, both our parents came down to the police station to pick us up. Once we got home we all went into Nohemi's house, and they told us to sit down.

"I'm so sorry about this, I don't know what's gotten into Scott," My mom said.

"You're son has corrupted our daughter we came to this town to make sure our daughter gets better but you're son has made her behavior worse!"Her dad said.

"I don't EVER want to see you're son near my daughter, I'm going to take her out of that damn school and I'll make sure she can't walkout this house by her self and I'm going to make sure that damn window of hers can never be opened!" Her dad continued.

"Are you sure this is nessacary?" Her mom questioned.

"Yes of course it is this'll make sure that she won't get into anymore trouble, you know her even before this they both have gotten into trouble!"

"He is right they shouldn't be allowed to see each other," My dad said.

"What no you can't do that!" I say.

"Yeah we have every right to see each other!" 

"Do you not understand, we're only doing this for you're safety, you could have died you know!" Her mom explained.

"I don't care! I love Scott! You can't keep me from the person that I love!" 

"Nohemi you don't know what you're talking about you'll thank us when you're older" Her dad explains.

"Damn it you can't keep me here! You know I'll escape! I've done it before and I can do it again!" Nohemi says before running out the house.

"Damn it" Her dad mutters before going after her.

"Scott you're grounded, now lets go!" My dad says.

[itsevanffs]

Hihi!! I've been hyperfixating on tommary lately and I absolutely loved (In the dark!)! I wanted to see if u have any tommary/harrymort fics that u recommend.. preferably ones that feature a possessive Tom ^^ ty in advance

I guess this would be the right time to publicly declare my bookmarks as open? Everything on there is a hard rec, and I vigorously quality-check those... for my liking and my liking only. (Sorry, not sorry. They're there for me, after all.)

That being said, hmm. I've got a few you might like.

Below the cut: more (additionally to my bookmarks) Tomarrymort (Tomarry or Harrymort) recommendations with possessive/obsessive Tom in alphabetical order; NOT order of how much I enjoy them. I'd argue I enjoy them all equally, just in different ways.

Ps: thank you! I'm incredibly flattered you liked my work :D

and don't let the police know anything by littlecupkate https://archiveofourown.org/works/24920947

Ted Dirlod is dangerous, Harry Potter knows this for a fact, but the man was still his only hope at escaping a doomed fate. It is never wise to blackmail a crime lord. It is even more unwise(?) when said crime lord is obsessed with you. An expanded version of "praying to whatever's in heaven, please send me a felon"

Genuinely lovely? Ticks all my boxes, at least, and minimal angst, which is always a plus. That being said, you should probably read the work mentioned in the summary as well for context. But hey. Two cakes by one person ;) Can never go wrong, can it?

As Certain Dark Things Are to be Loved by Strange_Soulmates https://archiveofourown.org/works/6015619

Tom was Harry's best friend growing up and his first love. At eight, Harry gave Tom his first kiss before moving away. As a freshman in college, the name of the RA on the door across the hall is terribly familiar.

Also absolutely deliciously indulgent. Tom is a possessive terror and Harry loves him for it. Need I say more?

Harry Potter and the Search for Ancient Magic (series) by Snickerdoodlepop https://archiveofourown.org/series/1133141

Once Voldemort realizes that Harry Potter is his horcrux, his plans change drastically. So does Draco Malfoy's assignment for the school year. Harry's sixth year starts going very differently. Snape is on a mission. Harry needs to learn pureblood politics. Draco Malfoy is trying to convince Harry to forgive him. Voldemort finds himself visiting Harry Potter in his dreams. Everyone is realizing that no one is quite what they thought. And through it all, there's a mystery. What is Ancient Magic? Can Harry use it to save himself or will it pull him toward the dark side?

Honestly, genuinely, hands down the best fucking tomarrymort series I've ever read. Hard, hard rec from here. The first work is completed and the second is in progress, so it's a nice pile of words to chew through!

can't commit to anything but a crime by caelesti https://archiveofourown.org/works/27286483

Excitement is the word he does not dare utter, even in the privacy of his own mind. It’s wrong, he knows. These women are people, in their own right; people with fears and aspirations, with friends and families and dreams, and to have anything cut those lives short is nothing but tragic. To have anyone cut those lives short is nothing but condemnable. He doesn’t have James Potter’s laugh lines, but he does have his father’s innate flair for danger. He doesn’t have Lily Potter’s enthusiasm, but he does have her insatiable curiosity. (In every world, Harry will excel at finding the biggest spot of trouble available and sticking his nose in it.)

Hot serial killer serial killer hot. That's it, those are the thoughts. Please read.

Dripping Fingers by May_May_0_0 https://archiveofourown.org/works/25440826

When Harry finds Tom Riddle's diary he does not write 'Hello.' He does not write anything at all. He draws. Tom Riddle falls in love with the artwork. _________________ Sketch by sketch, drawing by drawing, the ink Harry pours into the diary manifests as creations in Tom's monochrome world.

Okay so if I'm the reincarnation of Shakespeare, May_May_0_0 is fucking... Ted Hughes. Which doesn't say much to your average viewer but that man wrote my favourite poem ever (the one I based my war fic off) and I hold him in very high regard. This story? It is poetry in its rawest form. Pure, condensed beauty. If you decide to read only one of the fics in this list, please choose this one.

Either must die at the hand of the other by Metalomagnetic https://archiveofourown.org/works/29356095

Voldemort survives the Battle of Hogwarts because Harry Potter had not been the one to kill him, as the prophecy demands.

When is Metalomagnetic not a master of words? When will I cease becoming breathless at every paragraph, at every cleverly twisted word that comes back and reveals itself so beautifully later?

Fine Line by galaxiesundone https://archiveofourown.org/works/26949952

Magic always leaves traces. The lingering darkness of Sectumsempra, combined with Harry’s nature as a horcrux, awakens the soul piece contained within Ravenclaw’s diadem. At twenty years old, Tom Riddle walks a fine line between man and monster, the devil and the light-bringer in one. His influence forces Harry to face an ancient enemy unlike anything he has faced before: temptation.

Long story short: Tom Riddle is Hot and Good At Being Hot and Harry truly doesn't stand a chance and I am here for it. Lord help me I love this fic to pieces.

Good Intentions by Strange_Soulmates https://archiveofourown.org/works/7035334

Five year old Harry Potter meets and befriends a seventeen year old Tom Riddle while hanging out at his dad’s station. James Potter decides to take Tom under his wing, using Tom’s connection with Harry to try and keep the teen grounded, even as he begins to investigate the Death Eaters, a dangerous organized crime group and their mysterious leader only known as Lord Voldemort.

The sheer potential of this fic. The horrible, terrible dread of future events that have yet to be revealed. I will cry.

Honey, Smoke, Shiver by machiavelli https://archiveofourown.org/works/16068062

Harry - Omega, only son of Lord Potter - is nothing more than a useful playing card in a political game of power and money, one that is bought by the famed Tom Riddle: powerful, dangerous, pureblood Alpha. Unsurprisingly, Harry loves being underestimated.

Machiavelli is always a rec from me. Sorry lads but that's the way it is. Never a moment where I won't recommend their stuff.

Sickly-Sweet Obsession by maquira https://archiveofourown.org/works/18259103

Quiet, studious Tom Riddle spends his first year thirsting after an older student—Gryffindor’s Quidditch Captain, Harry Potter. His crush is common knowledge, and even Harry finds it cute… at first. Possessiveness spawns monstrosities. Tom does all within his power to mess with Harry’s dating life. And one seemingly harmless crush spirals into something darker, begetting deadly consequences.

Again; the potential. Delicious. This will bloom into something beautifully twisted, I'm sure of it.

Stars, Hide Your Fires by Audair https://archiveofourown.org/works/27745546

Riddle’s undivided attention snapped to him with the swiftness of shattering glass. His turbulent magic receded from where it had besieged the shop. "You,” he breathed. Coiling in leisurely motions, the eager tendrils of his magic reached for Harry, swathing about his limbs and neck and chest with a liquid, flowing fascination. "I’ve been looking for you,” Riddle continued, tilting his head to the side and sweeping his gaze over Harry. It was an appraisal that felt simultaneously like the raking of iron nails and the tender drapery of silk. It was so familiar, and yet… so foreign. In the winding streets of Knockturn Alley, an intricate dance of mutual obsession unravels between twenty-three-year-old Tom Riddle and a time-travelling Harry Potter.

This work has recently been undergoing a rewrite, and I can tell you with certainty it's only gotten better for it. It's beautiful; the setting, the atmosphere, the vibes... Perfection. Captures Knockturn Alley's mood impeccably and does not disappoint a single moment.

the pleasure, the privilege by asterisms https://archiveofourown.org/works/21227528

It begins with Vernon Dursley's body, dead across the table. In which Voldemort is dosed with amortentia, and nothing is better for it.

Completed, terrifying... and gorgeous.

The Shrike (to your sharp and glorious thorn) by PaperWorlds https://archiveofourown.org/works/22380079

Shrike: A songbird with a sharply hooked bill, known for their habit of catching insects and small vertebrates and impaling their bodies on thorns, the spikes on barbed-wire fences, or any available sharp point. A young Harry Potter survives an attack by notorious serial killer Voldemort. Over a decade later, they meet again.

Lads I'm so desperate for an update from this fic that I might cry if I think about it for too long. I keep saying it and I'll say it again; this is one of those fics with amazing potential that are sure to never disappoint no matter what path they take. An incredibly hard rec.

To Raise a Servant by bluegrass https://archiveofourown.org/works/19780816

Tom had found the boy amidst pouring rain. He figured he'd always wanted a pet snake.

Surprisingly not quite as dark as the summary makes it seem? I certainly enjoyed it, though, and that's why it's on this list.

What He Grows To Be by Severus_divides_into_H https://archiveofourown.org/works/19042240

Tom Riddle is a frightening coil of darkness, cruelty, and greatness, and changing him is Harry’s only hope for saving people he loves. Going back in time, he takes Tom from the orphanage, but his optimism shatters with every year they spend together. Tom still longs for darkness. Tom stifles him in his possessiveness. Tom is fixated on him to the point of destroying the world just to keep him. But Harry loves him. And the future changes.

Beautiful. And absolutely terrifying. I've started crying mid-scene at least three times for this fic, and it honestly seems unfathomable if you haven't read it if you're on my profile, since I think this is one of the fics that have shaped my style and ambitions. It is what I aspire to be.