#my dumb brain actually thought this was 2 years old last week

[ilovetvtoons]

This scene that still breaks my heart is now 2 years old. 😭💔

[whyse7vn]

DOWN BAD -

[ ot7 x reader ]

JOON4PRESIDENT

8 participants - 8 online

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y/n: hi

tae: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

y/n: ?

tae: holy fuck ur so fucking funny😭☠️😭☠️😭☠️😭☠️😭☠️😭☠️😭☠️😭☠️😭☠️😭☠️😭☠️😭

jimin: i BEG you let that man hit

at this point it’s embarrassing

tae: pls

jk: i think ur funny too

namjoon: shame is free

tae: idk what that’s supposed to mean

jk: it means shame is free i think

y/n: is that why you’ve been at my house for the last 2 weeks??

cuz you wanna hit??

yoongi: 2 weeks??

jin: down so fucking bad

jk: i thought tae was here cuz he missed us?

tae: I AM I SWAER

but if y/n let me hit in the time i was here i wouldn’t be mad

y/n: ur sick

hobi: why have you let tae stay in ur house for 2 weeks?

y/n: he FORCED his way in here

tae: not true jungkook willingly let me in

jin: jungkooks not even a real person so that doesn’t count

jk: i’m real

i think

jimin: i’m telling you he needed that 100k for rent

yoongi: taehyung homeless era

tae: I HAVE A HOME

y/n: ur not acting like it

tae: home is where the heart is

and my hearts with you bbg

y/n: leave

jk: am i real?

tae: are you a construction worker?

jk: no

tae: cuz ur a building

namjoon: what?

tae: 😉

@y/n

not you namjoon or jungkook

y/n: it’s hard

the life i live

hobi: hard like a criminal hard like the beat

tae: my rizz is out of this world it’s actually insane

jimin: do you know what rizz means?

bcs you can’t be fr

jk: isn’t rizz a type of cheese?

yoongi: this is my competition…

y/n: ur thinking of swiss cheese kook

jk: I AM

how did you know that??

y/n: can one of you guys come a get tae from us pls im begging you

jimin: i can’t read sorry

jin: i’m literally blind

hobi: 🫣

y/n: i fear his stupidness is rubbing off on jungkook

yoongi: i think he’s just naturally dumb as hell

jk: who

yoongi: see

y/n: plS my biggest fear in this life is waking up to furry jk

tae: ummm

that would have nothing to do with my influence

yoongi: call animal control maybe they’ll help you with tae?

tae: ??????

y/n: NAMJOON PLS UR MY ONLY HOPE PLS PLS PLS

namjoon: i’m not here

tae: CAN SOMONE DEFEND ME LIKE OMG???

jUNGKOOK TELL HER HER GREAT I AM

jk: he’s great

tae: UR NO HELP FUCK U

i’m gonna kill myself in front of you all in the most horrific way and change ur lives forever and NO amount of therapy will help you forget or move on

jk: ok i’m ready

tae: i’m leaving

y/n: god bless 🙏🏽

tae: ur obsessed with me get help

i hate you all

losers

gosh

fucking bitches the LOT of you

L

AWOOOOOOO

lone wolf era

jimin: what the fuck

namjoon: are you done?

tae: yeah :/

y/n: do you feel better now??

tae: as better as i can be in a situation like this :/

hobi: what situation?

tae: wdym?

jin: he has to be brain dead or something

tae: right hoseok stupid as hell

jk: i think jimin is talking about you bro

tae: jungkook ur young i wouldn’t expect you to understand

jk: ur right

y/n: they changed the korean age system isnt that crazy

jin: DON’T TALK ABOUT AGE

jimin: it’s a sensitive topic for him cuz he’s still old no matter what

namjoon: please

jk: i’m 25

jin: IDC SHUT UP

y/n: yikes

hobi: jungkook has been 25 for like 10 years

jk: that’s not true that makes no sense

hobi are you bad at maths?

hobi: don’t speak to me

tae: jimin you smell the best in the group

y/n: why are you smelling people?

hobi: furry

tae: after the loml ofc

jk: jennie?

tae: SHUT UP

jk: did you break up again???

tae: KICK HIM KICK HIMMM

jimin: what do i smell like?

tae: like vanilla i love it soOOOO much

it’s like a sweet vanilla but not so strong it overpowers ur senses it’s just right

i could eat you

jimin: i wish bitches i wanted said shit like this

but it’s just you

thx ig

tae: ???????

jin: that’s frfr creepy as hell tbh

why is he actually sniffing people is that not insane

jimin: don’t be mad you don’t smell like sweet vanilla

jin: i’m actually glad

look at what ur attracting

hobi: furries

jin: right

tae: 𝖘𝖍𝖚𝖙 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖋𝖚𝖈𝖐 𝖚𝖕

jk: WOAH

CALM DOWN TAE CALM DOWN TAE ITS OKAY ITS JUST US 😰😨😭

jimin: again what the actual fuck

tae: ur right i’m sorry i didn’t mean to get like that guys

jk: it’s okay

namjoon: they’re actually insane oh my god

y/n: i have seen a real decline in jungkooks mental state since the arrival of tae at our home

yoongi: again i think that’s just jungkook

y/n: no i know jungkook

jk: yeah she knows me

i know her

we have a connection you wouldn’t understand yoongi

y/n: and i know for a FACT he’s not that dumb

hobi: dumb dumb

jk: right i’m not that dumb

tae: WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY RN???

jk: wait

namjoon: tae go back to therapy

jimim: begging you

jin: awoman🙏🏻

tae: NO

I TOLD YOU LAST TIME

SHE LAUGHED AT ME

THE THERAPIST

I WONT I WONT I WONT

you can’t make me

it’s a free world

jk: you can buy the world??

yoongi: what do people see in you?

jk: whom?

y/n: LMAOOOO

namjoon: jungkook are you high rn?

jk: am i what?

namjoon: high

jk: hello

work on ur spelling joon

jimin: who tf is supplying him with this shit

jin: bet it was tae

tae: NO LOL

LOL

LOL

yoongi: so it was tae

y/n: HAVE YOU BEEN GETTING JUNGKOOK HIGH THESE LAST 2 WEEKS TAE???????

namjoon: this explains a lot

hobi: this is why he’s been messaging shit to my phone at like 2 in the morning

crazy

jk: who

tae: NO

LOL

y/n: HOW HAVE I NOT NOTICED???

jimin: right you dumb as hell tbh

namjoon: does it not smell??

jin: namjoon drug expert

tae: MAYBE HES BEEN TAKING EDIBLES

FROM SOMEONE WHEN YOU GO TO SLEEP???

LOL

yoongi: why are you giving ur self away like that

you really are stupid

jk: yeah stupid

yoongi: don’t ever agree with me again

jk: in y/ns bed rn

hobi: fight fight fight

yoongi: been there multiple times

jk: um ur lying

im here every night

i haven’t run into you in the last 4 months

tae: DONR TELL ME YOU LET JUNGKOOK HIT BEFOR ME OH MY GOD I CANT BREATHE RNNNNNNNNNNN

LIKE JUNGKOOK

ARE YOU FR .:’sk

omGGGH

NOOOSODODOD

jk: i’ve never hit a woman in my life

it’s not right pls don’t hit y/n

y/n: he comes to cuddle sometimes

yoongi: he does?

jk: everyday actually

she’s lying

jin: i’m gonna kill 14 puppies in-front of taehyung and see what happens

tae: why me

jin: you’re n need of a personality change

tae: i’m fine the way i am??

love urself and others will love you for you

we made a whole album about it?

jin: i’m not loving you for you tbh

and a LOT of people would say the same

tae: you guys are lucky i’m not sensitive

y/n: i’ve always been a lucky girly

hobi: you literally live with jungkook?

jk: yes?

hobi: nothing

jk: if you remember lmk ^^

tae: y/n do you have ugly man syndrome or something?

y/n: ??

tae: idk you just seem to enjoy being friendly with ugly men

y/n: never once have i said i’ve enjoyed ur company

tae: ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY IM THE UGLY MAN??

y/n: you said it not me…

tae: anything jungkook can do i 110% do it better

unless it’s lack common sense

i’m pretty full of common sense

jimin: that’s actually not true

y/n: maybe that’s what gets jungkook cuddles?

jk: when?

yoongi: being stupid?

y/n: yeah maybe he’s a loser and i find it endearing

yoongi: lol

hobi: me when i’m jealous

tae: IM ACTUALLY THE BIGGESt LOSER AROUND

TELL HER GUYS

namjoon: the biggest!

jimin: HE SOOOOOO DUMB ITS CRAZY

hobi: i feel the need to kick him every time i see him type of loser

jin: he’s such a loser actually i still bully him to this day

tae: not too much now

hobi: okay i can’t do this anymore let’s address the elephant in the room

jimin: namjoon…

namjoon: wtf?

y/n: don’t be mean

jk: are you guys in all in a room without me?

tae: u-um >.<

jin: did he just stutter through text?

y/n: pls stop

jk: where is the elephant??

jin: jungkook go to bed or something ur pissing me off now

jk: sleep well jin

namjoon: gn jin

jin: don’t feed into his shit namjoon

jk: y/n are you with the elephant?

yoongi: y/N aRe yOu wItH tHE eLepHaNt

jimin: what the beef omg?

tae: what is this elephant hobi-senpai ?!!!

i’m sitting on the edge of my seat

♡ (⇀ 3 ↼)

jk: me 2

hobi: tae you need to learn how to get a fucking grip and shut the fuck up

…

FYI JK AND Y/N ARE LIVING TOGETHER FOR THE FUNZIES OKAY? FOR THE GIRLIES THAT DO NOT KNOW

the rest of the members have their own houses and are lonely losers

[spaceyflowerswriting]

hihi !! i hope you dont mind but can i request headcanons/drabble prompts with kim joongoo (lookism) ? like the gn!reader having a crush on him when he was in middle school (his age where he saved vasco) and him also having a crush on reader but isnt too obvious with it ^^ tysm! (feel free to ignore/delete this if you're uncomfy!!)

middle school!goo and reader

details: gender neutral reader but written in 2nd pov, general canon au, you and goo are middle schoolers and neighbors

a/n: hello anon~ no worries, this request is fine !! but i wasnt given much about reader so i just vaguely wrote reader as a neighbor to goo, i hope thats okay T_T

i also wrote more than intended and feel like this was a messy oneshot instead of headcanons;; sorry, hopefully this still works for u!!

×

> 15 or so year old goo, who was free as a bird and felt like he was on top of the world; there was never a fight he couldn't win and all he had his eyes on was money, which he had plenty of thanks to people always asking for his "beat 'em up" services

> and then he got a crush. he didn't acknowledge it for a while though because he really only regarded money and violence as his true loves but yet here you were pulling at his heart strings

> he was unashamedly shallow in starting his attraction because he thought you were good looking, but over time your personality charmed him and that's when he went, "oh, is this what a crush is?"

> was grossed out at the beginning lol like "ew this kind of stuff leads to marriage and all that weird ass adult stuff" which was something he didn't want to think about as a teen; he just wanted to enjoy his youth

> really did his best to just treat you as someone he kind of likes until he was bored watching tv one day as an ad for a romance movie played and he imagined you and him as the main characters

> instant cringe and panic. he began to admit he really did have a crush on you then, but still kept it on the low

> honestly you seemed like a good person and he didn't want to take your kindness for granted. so, he never bothered asking you out because he was actually worried about hurting you if it turned out he wasn't committed. plus, you two were just teens, and he's seen other teens around in their "dumb relationships" that last like 2 weeks and didn't want to deal with that

> for now he was content being your friend. occasionally spoiling you with the money he earned or often visiting your home (usually by breaking and entering your room through a window...) just meant you two were close friends and nothing more

> little did he know, your feelings were mutual! you simply couldn't resist the lovable grin and upbeat personality of the strangely charming boy next door

> the time you spent patching him up when he dropped by with small injuries, the time spent together vandalizing old buildings, him casually and randomly dropping over $500 for something you mentioned liking the other day...

> still, the two of you were just friends. sometimes things felt awkward and you wondered if he had a crush on you, too, but there was just no way with how he acted... right?

BONUS rushed cliche drabble of this scenario but fast forwarded to present time because my brain was on a roll for whatever reason :

Goo Kim was a man who only valued money and enjoyed the violence often needed to obtain it. And that was all he needed to feel satisfied. He never felt empty or lonely, but he did feel like he was missing something in his life. Not in a puzzle piece way because he knew he was complete, but more so an ingredient to make his life even better.

However, this was not something he needed to ponder about. He knew the answer was the neighbor he had as a friend growing up. It honestly confused him how such an ordinary person that happened to live next to his place then could affect him so much. Whatever it was about you that enticed him, he didn't care, he just knew he wanted it.

No, he needed the excitement you gave him; it was a different but similar thrill to the ones being surrounded in blood and riches gave him.

"It's a shame," he muttered aloud, strolling down the fairly empty street as the sun began to set. He really should've tried to find a way to keep in contact with you, but after meeting Gun and getting mixed in with Charles Choi's business, all he felt like he could do was leave with a goodbye. How could he even begin to explain to you what he was going to get involved in?

If only he could see you again. He was more mature now, as hard as that was to believe, and felt he could be the proper partner for you. Not to mention, the fact that he still thought about you to this day meant his feelings for you were more than just a "crush." The commitment and "gross" relationship stuff he didn't want to deal with as a middle schooler then, he was ready for now. Probably.

Goo sighed. Maybe you still lived in his old neighborhood? He hadn't visited it ever since he left, perhaps you still lived in the area. Later this week, he should--

"Goo...?"

Somehow, despite the years and the clear change in it, Goo recognized the voice. When he turned his head to the side, he saw a familiar face standing outside the convenience store nearby. A grin grew on his lips as he walked closer to the figure.

You were as lovely as he remembered.

"Today must be my lucky day," he thought, holding a hand out.

"Hey, it's you. It's been a while, but we should hang out just like we used to. Whaddya say?"

Seeing your eyes light up just at the sight of him still remembering you was enough of an answer to him. Explanations and confessions could come later, all he wanted now was some time with you.

[lyntergalactic]

lyn reads triple zero - finale

by which i mean i finished it last night and i have Thoughts

first off, it was a decently enjoyable book when i managed to turn off my brain. solid 3 stars. there's a lot of good here that i actually really liked, it's just... unfortunately balanced out by a lot of bad that made me want to throw my phone across the room.

so here we go. thoughts, in no particular order:

1.) i genuinely love the characters. even ones like kal who i hate as much as i love. i can see why people who don't do more than a surface reading like him. personally, i love how crunchy a character he is and how all his many flaws make him this unintentionally complex character. i just want to pick his brain apart.

i could ramble on about everyone but it's a lot of "these feelings i already had about these characters have been reinforced like crazy" which basically means i'm fascinated by all of them, want to get all of them therapy, and also want to write all the fic where they get to have healthier relationships lol

2.) there's a lot of yelling in tcw side of fandom about how the clones should get chances to act like the dumb college age kids they are, and they get to in this book!! i think some of my favorite moments were when the boys were egging each other on and giving each other shit. especially that fi and sev bit with the ladder, at least until sev hurts himself. like how fucking dumb is that but also how fucking typical of 20-ish year olds?

3.) fi is gay. fi is so gaaaaay. there are so many little points in his narration where it's like "ah, yes. he is absolutely attracted to [X] person" but beyond that, his whole little subplot about feeling like something in his life is missing? wanting a normal life and a girlfriend, etc? it's juxtaposed against etain and darman so much that it comes across like fi is in love with darman and just doesn't realize.

yes, i have a new ship. yes, i'm going to write horribly angsty fic for it. why do you ask?

4.) etain and darman are cute when KT isn't pushing her weird ass heteronormative agenda. though my aroace ass literally yelled at my phone "YOU'VE KNOWN HIM FOR A CUMULATIVE WEEK AND CHANGE, YOU DON'T LOVE HIM YET" when they had their first lil heart to heart and slept together that first time. but, again, they're young 20-somethings who might die at any time, i can forgive them that.

shit, i can even forgive etain's whole pregnancy thing--to a point--because she's a dumb kid who is going through a crisis of faith. (more on that specifically in a sec) but jfc kal's reaction to it all was--idefk. he's absolutely right to be furious with etain. what she did was stupid in the first place, not well thought through, and she's putting a hell of a lot at risk by going through with it.

but everything else about his reaction was just--dude. what the actual fuck. and 60% of that is his clinging to his bizarre conservative mando ideals while 40% is his utter disdain for the jedi and i just--UUUUGH.

5.) every time the jedi came up in narration. every. fucking. time. i wanted to scream. i know KT has terrible opinions on them. i've read most of the other books!! but oh my god it was especially bad.

do i think it would be interesting for etain and bardan to have crises of faith because of the war? absolutely. in fact, it even makes sense that they would!! but the way KT goes about it is just fucking baffling.

which is really highlighted by that one conversation etain has with ordo where he says "nah, you've got a worse life than i do because i was adopted but you were given away to strangers by your parents" and i'm just

THE FUCK DO YOU THINK HAPPENS TO NON-JEDI KIDS WHEN THEY GET ADOPTED, ORDO???? THEY'RE GIVEN AWAY TO STRANGERS BY THEIR PARENT(S).

there is just. so much. so much about the jedi that's so wrong and that if it was written rightly should've fucking changed entire character interactions and plot and it infuriates me.

6.) everything about the mission is just. plot holes all over. if i take it at surface value and treat it like a bad action movie that's just here for entertainment i'm fine, but the second i stop to actually think about how this whole mission is happening i'm just--that's not how this works. that's not how any of this works. how are you all not dead???

but, you know. whatever. i can deal with it. there were highly entertaining moments. i literally cackled out loud when fi told kal that he and sev planted explosives in the one dude's car and kal was like "... the car i was in?? FI." and i'm real intrigued by bardan as like... the commandos' Q figure. it's highly entertaining.

7.) i have A Lot of Opinions about the weird ass brand of masculinity KT's characters subscribe to. but one thing i appreciate is that her male characters cry and aren't thought of as less for it. it's one bastion of good in a sea of blegh.

8.) i mostly stopped capping bits as i got sucked in but i did nab this bit which made me laugh and is a good bit to end on. (i forgot what my other points were gonna be; work distracted me lkajsdf)

fi as a musical fan is my new favorite headcanon. i don't care if grease doesn't actually exist in the gffa.

also i need a crossover with mass effect where he and garrus exchange sniping playlists.

[orangechickenpillow]

15 Questions 15 Mutuals

I was tagged by @eowyntheavenger (I’m so sorry it took me forever, I kept forgetting to answer this haha) Love you, friend!

Rules: answer the questions and tag fifteen mutuals

1. Are you named after anyone? Nope! My parents just heard the name from a friend and like it (but it’s spelled differently than literally everyone else in the world who’s named it because my mom thought the original spelling's repeat of a particular letter was “dumb and unnecessary” lol)

2. When was the last time you cried? A couple weeks ago I think? I don’t cry very often, and it’s usually because of a build-up of emotions when I do (don’t bottle things up, kids). Can’t even remember why, this particular time. 

3. Do you have kids? Nope, and unless my future partner would like to have children, I don’t really plan on it. 

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Absolutely, yes I do. Though, I’ve learned recently, to my horror, that most of my sarcasm is too dry and people tend to think I’m being serious. So... I’ve gotten a failing grade in sarcasm. Fuck me lol.

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people? I’ve never really thought about that. When I socialize my brain usually shuts off out of panic, but I think I probably notice a person’s smile. I like when people smile with their eyes and not just their mouth. 

6. What's your eye colour? Hazel :)

7. Scary movies or happy endings? I don’t watch horror movies near as often as I watch movies with happy endings, so I suppose the latter. 

8. Any special talents? Um... I’m really good at making people laugh? That’s not really a talent, but I think my sense of humor surprises people because they don’t often expect it. 

9. Where were you born? No comment ;)

10. What are your hobbies? I love writing, it’s my absolute favorite thing to do. I like to read, though I don’t as often as I used to, and rewatch my dozen or so favorite movies. I like roller skating and painting, and I’ve gotten into embroidery recently. I also love working out, when I have the time and energy to do so. 

11. Any pets? This question is the equivalent of Pandora’s box for me lmao. I’ve had a ton of pets over my life, but currently: three cats, a dog, two leopard geckos, two goats, two hermit crabs, and some isopods. I’ve also had frogs, rats, and even two alpacas at one point. 

12. What sports do you play/have played? I played soccer in elementary school, absolutely loathed it. I... do not work well on a team, especially when that team is a bunch of mean twelve-year-old girls lol. I also horseback ride, but have not done that competitively.

13. How tall are you? I think I’m 5′4

14. Favorite subject in school? Once, long ago, it had been math. I hate math now, lol. In high school, my favorite subject was English for sure. Biology was also a lot of fun.

15. Dream job? Actually? Just, like... the owner of a nice little cottage. A gardener? Someone who lives in the woods, maybe... I would like to make art for the rest of my life and not have to worry about taxes and shit lol. 

For the longest time I wanted to be a vet, and then a zookeeper. I wouldn’t say those are still my “dream jobs,” though. Maybe a writer. 

Thanks again for the tag, lovely. 

I’m always scared I’m bothering people when I tag, so I won’t, but if you see this and you want to join in, please do! 

[missmentelle]

I’m going to tell you a secret that I wish someone had told me a long, long time ago: If you’ve been in nothing but toxic and unhealthy relationships for most of your life, your first healthy relationship is probably going to feel boring. 

I spent the majority of my teenage years and early 20s in a series of unhealthy relationships. My relationships were all unhealthy in very different ways, but there was one thing they had in common: they were unpredictable, and in a perverse way, that made them addicting. There’s something weirdly thrilling about a relationship that is off-the-charts intense all of the time, even if it’s often a bad intense. My stomach used to drop like I’d just gone down the first hill of a roller coaster every time I opened the door to the apartment I used to share with my ex, because I never knew what I was going to find inside. Maybe he’d be on the couch, writing a song about me with that big smile on his face. Maybe he’d be half-coherent and the entire apartment would be trashed, with all the shades drawn. Maybe he’d be gone altogether with absolutely no explanation, and no way of getting in touch with him. There’s a sick thrill to waking up every morning and not knowing if your day is going to end with an impromptu romantic 2 am adventure that involves kissing under the stars, or if you’re going to go to bed in tears because you just got screamed at in a dumb fight over paper towels. Maybe it’s both. 

Often, it was both.

And after a while, when someone makes your heart pound every time you see them, your brain stops trying to learn the difference between attraction and fear. 

Then in my final year of my master’s degree, I swiped right on the right person and got into the first healthy relationship I had ever been in. My new relationship was everything I could have dared to hope for, back in the days when I was begging my ex to tell me where he was because he hadn’t been home in four days, or getting woken up at four a.m. because he’d found a man’s name when he went through my phone while I was sleeping and didn’t believe it was my brother. My new partner is, at a very fundamental level, an incredibly gentle and thoughtful person. Regular “good morning” and “good night” texts became a regular staple of my day, instead of passive-aggressive jabs and so-called “silent treatments”. Encouragement was given freely, without any accusations that I was seeking attention or trying to out-do him. Birthdays and important dates were remembered without any reminders. Hugs were given out in generous quantities, small issues were laughed off instead of fought over, and male friends were encouraged instead of demonized. At long last, I had the relationship I had always wanted. 

And to my absolute horror, I realized I was bored.

Without even realizing it, I had trained myself to think of relationships as battles, and being in a healthy relationship for the first time felt like I had suited myself up for an epic war, only to end up in an old ladies’ pottery class. The lack of unhealthy behaviours started making me antsy. Why wasn’t he going through my phone and looking through my social media? Did he just not care? Did it just not matter to him that other guys might be speaking to me? Why was I feeling so calm all the time? Where was the adrenaline rush? Why weren’t we clashing more? Did it mean that we just weren’t invested enough to even bother to fight with each other? We were - and are - deeply compatible people who have a lot of fun with each other, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that the relationship just wasn’t intense enough. I absolutely knew that my past relationships were deeply unhealthy, but it’s hard to un-learn the idea that relationships should be high-stakes and constantly exhausting if both people truly care about each other. 

It took a lot of time, but I gradually come to realize something: I’d never actually known love in any of my previous relationships. What I had known was obsession. My exes had put me up on pedestals, and ripped me down as soon as I failed to live up to impossible expectations. Over and over again. Everything was big and over-the-top: life was a series of grand gestures, big fights and enormous apologies. I had one ex comb through years and years of my social media photos, commenting on every single one, while another ex would make the hour-long drive to my house in the middle of the night several times per week, whenever he felt like seeing me, letting himself in through my bedroom window. When you’re young and don’t know any better, that level of obsession is flattering. It’s what we’ve been taught is romantic. But it’s not - it’s not a good basis for a strong and healthy relationship. And in the end, none of it was really about me. My exes were caught up in ideas about the relationships they’d fantasized about having, and the way they wanted people to perceive them, and I was more or less just there to play a part. And it always came crashing down. 

Real love, on the other hand, is not about the grand gesture. It’s not about non-stop “dialed-up-to-11″ intensity. It’s about being there, day by day. My boyfriend has never gone through my social media for six straight hours or broken into my house because he couldn’t wait a moment longer to see me, and he’s never screamed at me for having male names in my contacts list or for not texting back fast enough because he’s just so afraid to lose me. Instead, he is patient. He is kind. He listens to what I have to say and he doesn’t get upset about the small things and he always remembers to make  my coffee exactly how I like it. I know that he will be there for me when I need him - whether I need to vent about a bad day at work or build a bookcase or double-check that I added enough salt to the soup - and I do the same for him. It’s a kinder, gentler kind of relationship, and now that I’m used to it, it’s anything but boring. 

Don’t get me wrong - sometimes a relationship can be healthy and not be right for you. If you don’t have anything in common and you don’t enjoy doing things together, that’s probably not the relationship for you. It’s important to have fun with your partner and enjoy their company. But it’s also important not to mistake obsession for romance, or mistake a lack of intensity for disinterest. 

[jameui]

SPECIAL PRESENT 1

Requested

part 1 | part 2 | part 3

PAIRING: Sugar Daddy!Jung Yunoh x College Student!M!Reader (featuring: Bestfriend!Lee Jeno)

GENRE: Fluff, Smut

WARNINGS: Unprotected intercourse, huge age gap, a lot of IMPORTANT flashbacks (i think), daddy kink, sex toys, overstimulation

SUMMARY: You were a striving student in Resonance High and had perfect records. Besides your devotion to your education, you were also gifted with a talent. All these stuffs making your sugar daddy, Jaehyun, proud of you, so he decided to give you a night you won't forget.

(P.S. so i was fucking dumb to actually think that when you said performance, you meant by performing on a stage, when you actually meant, how male reader actually did good in school. I was too late to notice. sorry. if this didn't reach your expectations.

The school's foundation day is fast approaching and each student at Resonance High are all excited preparing for that certain day. During the school's foundation day, events such as competition in sports and performances like singing and dancing or spoken poetry. All sorts of event takes place in that particular, not only a day, but a week, that every students can take part in.

The school's foundation day does not only happen after a day. It's a week of celebration for the foundation and, of course, free from homeworks and projects that students have to worry about. All their focus must be on having fun on those days and be active in participation. Some students never liked the thought about celebrating a foundation day, but you on the other hand, thought otherwise as it's your first time celebrating it with a friend, since you never really get to do it with any due to you practically being locked up in your house for almost all years of your life.

Now, you were away from your family and you got to finally do anything you wanted. For example, having a sugar daddy who gave you all the help you needed. Sure, at first, you were just doing it out of mere fun, but you never quite expected to actually grow feelings for the older male. You didn't know when it started, but the first time you ever felt the fluttering of butterflies in your stomach was when he became worried and concerned when you got sick after a very excessive practice, the day prior. You wanted to tell him so, so bad, but you didn't know how to.

You were scared that maybe you were crossing the line or coming off too strong or maybe he'd walk away if you broke the agreement. It first started with just you only being up for it because of the agreement. Though, you never really went as far as you giving him a good blow or having a steamy bath with him. Either way, he was still someone you could trust and the only person you could rant about all your problems. The thought of losing all these scared you the most.

Unlike some other people, Jaehyun was smart and was a successful businessman, owning one of the richest companies in the industry. Jaehyun, when he's not busy, he'd help you out with your math homeworks or would just do it for you, since he found it fun and easy. Sometimes, you think he's Einstein, reincarnated.

Jaehyun, besides his brains, is also fun to be with. He knows about your passion and talent for singing and dancing and your once dream to be an artist, so he would sometimes play loud music in the living room through the speakers and you two would be singing along, him making up lyrics when he have no idea what the song artist's saying in their song. He'd sometimes call them drunk, because they sounded like they were slurring their words, which you would always laugh to. Also, he'd let you teach him a few dance steps you saw on tiktok and you'd record it together, only for the fun of both of you.

You were seated by your section's booth and couldn't help, but crack a smile from the thought. That was until one of your classmates decided to cut the moment. "What's with the smile?" Jeno, one of your friends, questioned with a smirk whilst carrying a case of bottled apple juice, placing it beside the stand of the booth.

"Here to tease me, again?" You scoffed at him, as he shrugged his shoulders. You rolled your eyes at him and stood up from your seat before heading to the school's gate where the rest of the important necessitated items are waiting. You skipped along the way and stopped by the pick up truck that was parked at the parking lot. "Anything I can help with?" You asked with a smile.

"Here's the last of 'em." He gave you two cases of the bottled drinks, one stacked above the other making you grunt.

"This is heavy." You muttered under your breathe, your thin hands barely holding onto the handles. "Th-thanks." You told them your feet wobbling from the heavy weight of the trays.

Jeno who came walking back outside saw you struggling, making him chuckle deciding to help you. "Need help with that?"

"Yes, please." You said before passing the trays to Jeno carefully, so it doesn't topple over. "Thanks." You smiled at him, cracking your knuckles and shaking it to reduce the pain you felt on your hands.

"Welcome." He said, then walking back to the booth, with you beside him. "Ah, M/n. By the way, are you attending the practice this afternoon?"

"Yeah. Of course. Why do you ask?" You chuckled, kicking on a pebble that came your way.

"Oh, I just thought you'd be busy sucking your daddy's—"

"JENO!" You yelled at him with an evident blush on your face cutting him off to avoid anyone hearing what Jeno had to say. It's always been like this. Since the day you told him about having a sugar daddy, he'd always tease you no matter where you are or what you're doing. He'd always use your excuses against you and now, you're regretting ever telling him.

"Okay, okay. Damn." He laughed at your reaction, you staring daggers at him.

Just as you were about to spat back at him, you heard a group of girls' voices calling out to you. "M/n! M/n! M/n!" They were successful in gaining your attention, while they smiled running up towards you. "M/n! You didn't tell us you have a handsome brother..." One of them said, while batting their lashes.

You knitted your brows in confusion. "I have?" You asked the girls, who looked like they knew better and nodded their heads. First of all, you don't have a brother, but you have three sister, two are older and one is younger. Second, you don't even know who these girls were and yet, they mysteriously knew your name and who you were. "Wait, who are you talking—"

"M/n-ah." You heard that sweet raspy voice of the man you loved, your head snapping towards him who stood by the side of your booth. You guessed he was on his break, since he was still in his suit and it was already past twelve in the afternoon.

"Jaehyun!" You giggled as you ran to him, all the while opening his arms for you to throw yourself in. You gladly complied and wrapped your arms around him, the lot older male doing the same as he hung his long arms on your waist. You snuggled into his chest before you looked up at him to see him already looking down at you with a smile that displayed his deeply carved dimples. "What are you doing here? Aren't you busy?" He made you giggle when he patted your head and planted a kiss on your forehead.

"I wanted to see my baby." Jaehyun replied, then pouting. "I've been so tired lately."

You furrowed your brows in concern and hugged him tighter. "Can't you take a three days off?"

"I want to, but I got to keep the company running if I don't want it to fail." He answered you, making you nod your head.

Once the girls saw these, they quickly felt embarrassed and walked off without making a sound, Jeno laughing at them.

"Then, why don't I treat you to something sweet? How's that?" You wanted to do something for the older and this was the only thing you could ever think of.

The pout was still glued to his face when he looked back down at you. "Angel, we agreed that I would do the treating."

"Well, you're the one who needs my help, right now, so I want to do something for you, other than..." You cleared your throat and mumbled, "...the other things I do for you."

Jaehyun chuckled, as he finally gave in to your offer while he ruffled your hair. "Alright."

You pulled away from him once he had loosened his grip from around your waist. You took him by the wrist and told Jeno that you'd be somewhere else, leaving Jeno with the rest of the responsibilities, promising him to make up to it.

You were leading Jaehyun to the canteen, before he gently pulled on your hand. You turned your head towards him, your eyes moving down to where he held you. You chuckled and smiled. "What's wrong?"

"Can... I hold your hand, M/n?" The question took you aback, only since he never really asks those type of questions. Ones he only asks are some that goes by the line 'can you suck my dick?' or of some sort.

"Sure." You managed to smile from the obvious shock that got Jaehyun a little red. "You didn't even have to ask." You added to which he nodded to shyly. It would be times like this when you would forget that he is a good thirty years old because of his cute personality.

You two finally made it to the canteen, the taller male receiving a lot of stares from all those present inside. Jaehyun was yet to spot the attention he was gaining, but you were already feeling iffy even though you knew that those heart eyes were for Jaehyun. But, you couldn't help the feeling that those eyes didn't like you being around Jaehyun. "J-Jaehyun..." You squeaked out silently, tugging on the sleeve of his suit, taking his attention whilst smiling down at you. His smile faltered upon noticing how you looked subtly shaken and cowered in fear. "I.. I think we should leave."

"Baby, what's wrong? You look so tense." Jaehyun asked you out of pure concern, cupping your cheeks as he gently tilted your head upwards, so you could face him, but you removed his hands from your cheeks that got him almost shocked since you'd never really let yourself move away from his grasp, instead you would usually just lean into his touch and let yourself succumb to the warmth he was radiating, but this. This was different and he knew exactly that something was bothering you.

"Can we go, please?" You sounded like you were begging for you two to quickly move outside, leaving Jaehyun with no choice, but to nod his head and let you drag him out of the place. Alas, you were outside, but he never received even a word from you nor a hum, a sigh, nothing. Just complete silence.

He grew more worried thinking that he might have done something that he shouldn't have or said something that made you feel so uncomfortable. He was getting anxious as you continued to keep your mouth closed and never said a word. "Baby, you know you can trust me, right?" Jaehyun caressed your thumb in a comforting manner, his eyes showing how much he truly cared for you and how genuinely worried he was. He was scared that he might have done something wrong to you.

He himself never knew how it got to this. At first, just like you, he had only intended to find some fun in the relationship you both had and not actually grow some feelings towards you, but the first time he ever met you, all he ever had thought in his head was to protect you at all cost and give you everything you wanted, spoil you with all his money and riches, give you forehead kisses and pleasure that can make you see stars. Since the start, he only thought of this as something platonic and that it was a part of the agreement you both had consent on, but as you two got to spend more time together, he always felt something blossom inside of him. He always looked forward to every day, mainly because he had you to wake up to. His usual stoic expression, completely turned into those that said 'sunshine' all spread out on his face. That's when he completely knew, it was not only the benefits he was up for, anymore. It was you and his love for you.

He was just your usual workaholic man, who had nothing in his head rather than work, work, and work. Not until the day he bumped into you on that one faithful day, when you were so drained from all the studying you had to do and decided to buy coffee. You were so intimidated by his face that he got you cowering in fear when you turned to look up at him. The only courage you could muster was so small that you were only able to give him a polite bow before you entered the coffee shop to buy your favorite cappuccino coffee.

He was so intrigued by you that the next day, during that same time, he waited for you in that same exact location, but you never showed up. Until later. You were so shocked from the sight of him. You feared he'd beat you into a pulp, so you hid your face with your hand, hoping he didn't see you, but luck wasn't on your side that day and decided to let Jaehyun notice your presence.

"Hey, I—"

"Sorry, sir. I'm quite busy, right now." You immediately cut him off and got inside the shop, Jaehyun following suit. Your eyes made its way back towards the older who was following behind you closely. You stopped in your tracks and turned around to look at him, retracting his body from looking through your shoulders, throughout the whole time smiling down at you with his dimples showing. "Excuse me, sir, but do I owe you with something?"

Jaehyun pursed his lips, thinking before smirking and leaning closer to your face, with you, all the while, pulling your head back. "Yes." He answered you with his hands shoved confidently inside his pants.

Your gaze averted from his mesmerizing eyes to the table that supported you and kept you from falling. You gulped and felt your lips go dry. "D-do you need money? I don't have much, but will 7,000 won be enough?" You fondled through your pockets and took out your wallet.

"What? No, no." He chuckled, one hand taken out from his pockets and scratching his eyebrows while he sighed. "I have an offer."

Your brows were pulled together looking up at him, curious. "What is it?"

"Give me your number and I'll tell you over the phone."

And that's how it all started. Of course, he told you about lying that you owed him something, either way you were thanking the God above that he created you as gullible as ever.

As of the moment, Jaehyun could only feel his nervousness rise as he continued to stare at your back. "M/n, please say something. You're making me feel so worried."

"Jaehyun..." You finally stopped walking and spoke, before throwing yourself into him, the impact suddenly taking all the air inside Jaehyun's lungs away. "Don't leave me... please." You pleaded, your arms around him going tighter.

Jaehyun softened and felt himself get blanketed over with relief. He raised his hand to put it on top of your head and caressed them softly and soothingly. "I won't, M/n. I promise you."

In the end, Jaehyun was the one who treated you with something to eat. You were sat at a bench near your class' booth, Jaehyun next to you, while you swayed your feet back and forth. "Hyunnie." You called out to him with a new nickname you came up with, Jaehyun choking on his burger letting out a few coughs while you patted his back, laughing. "How the hell do you eat a burger that it got you choking on it?"

His coughing finally stopped and looked at you with a surprised face. "The nickname. You never called me that before."

You pouted in reply and blushed in embarrassment. "Do you.. not like it?"

"No, of course not." He was quick to shake his head, then cleared his throat, looking away. "It's cute."

You were able to see the pink tint painting his cheeks that you always found cute, since it's a very rare sight to see. Teasingly, you peeked over and was able to confirm that he was, in fact, blushing from just the nickname you created. "Oh my gosh, you're blushing." You cooed and immediately, Jaehyun scoffed, facing you to land a small kiss on your lips that got you widening your eyes and wiping away the mocking smile you had on your face. Your fingers made its way up towards your lips, unable to speak.

"Now, tell me who's blushing." Jaehyun smirked.

You glared at him, but instead of feeling intimidated, he found it cute. "I'm just surprised, since you never really like to, er, kiss me on the lips." You whispered the last part, loud enough for only you and him to hear.

You two were so happy in each other's company, that you both forgot that Jaehyun had somewhere else to be. That being his work. He wouldn't have noticed the time passing, if it wasn't for the alarm he had set, knowing he'd lose track of time when he's around you.

You walked him to his car and saw him off, waving your hand at him, not leaving until he was finally out of sight. You put your hands back down and sighed happily, walking back towards where you should be: at the booth where you should be finishing the preparation.

"So, how was the quick date?" Jeno asked you with a smirk, the sleeves of his shirt pushed back inside the hole that connected it to the shirt, showing his perfectly built muscles.

"It was great! Save for the part where I received death glares at the canteen. That felt terrible." You shuddered at the thought, but smiled again. "That aside, it was great."

"Your schedule didn't change? Are there still room for practice later?" Jeno asked you for the nth time that day. He's been asking you since you entered the classroom.

"It didn't, Jeno. Why are you so eager with me being present in the practice?" You chuckled at him, deciding to help him pack the treat bags you will give out to your customers.

"I just can't be left alone there with people I don't know. I'm an awkward person." Jeno told you.

"Jeno. You're literally known by all the students here and you're scared because they're strangers to you? I bet they all even want to be friends with you." You said, but Jeno just shook his head, his hair moving along with him.

"No, M/n. You must and need to attend the practice, either way." Jeno demanded of you.

You rolled your eyes at him and sighed deeply through your nose in defeat. "Fine, fine." Jeno's eye smile appeared and let out a small 'yes' making you chuckle.

"Hey, M/n." A voice started from outside the booth and saw a girl with her arms crossed, looking down at you whilst you seated at the ground. You looked up at her, but she didn't look friendly. She looked angry than friendly.

Your eyes flickered toward Jeno, then back to the girl and smiled. "Yeah?"

"Don't give me that smile, you whore." She spat at you, all of a sudden.

Your eyes closed shut, your mouth wide open and your forefinger raised up while you pushed it towards her way and scoffing. Your eyelids tore open and you smirked at the girl. "Excuse me? Whore? Who you calling a whore?"

"Listen, midget—"

"No, you listen here, Barbie." You said, a mocking tone with the last word. "You full on plastic, bitch. Get away from my sight. You look like a parasite."

The girl gasped in shock and opted to pull on your hair, but Jeno held her by her wrist and angrily stared at her. "You heard him. Get away. I'm not afraid to punch a person, even a girl, if they're purpose was to mistreat and shame on an innocent person." Jeno threw her hand away like it was trash, sending the girl from moving two steps back before stomping her foot and turning on her heels to walk away.

You could still see Jeno glaring at the girl while you looked at him in shock. "Wow, wow. Look at you."

"Sh. I'm not done yet." Jeno hushed you, before he continued his work. "You were saying?"

"Nothing. Was just shocked you told that girl off. I could have handled myself just fine, but thanks to you, I'm saved from causing a ruckus." You said, Jeno huffing through the nose.

"Seriously, you." He sighed pinching the bridge of his nose and knitted his brows. "Stop making the problem bigger."

"No way. I need to put up a fight. If I don't, they'd see me as someone weak." You defended yourself.

"And you can't even handle death glares that's being sent towards you?"

You were about to speak and fight back, but he was right. "That's... that's a different matter."

"Sure, it isn't, M/n." He said rolling his eyes.

Later that afternoon, past 5 p.m., you and Jeno excused yourselves from the class, since you have a dance practice for your performance on the opening of the foundation day. Out of habit, you skipped beside Jeno who was happy that you got to attend the practice today. Again.

You never really liked the person who choreographed the whole song. It was under a genre you thought you could never pull off or fit in, so your confidence was at a very low level. During practices, though, you try your best not to make it obvious that you were uncomfortable for that certain concept, but you still had to be seen making a lot of mistakes, some of the other students who joined clearly agitated. You could only bow and bow and bow at the mistake you knew you clearly had done, feeling guilty for the reason why always had to start again from the top. The reason why you never really got along well with these students.

You have arrived at the practice room, taking quiet steps as you both entered the venue trying your best not to make a sound. The intense gazes you received from the other students didn't come unnoticed by you, the reason why you pulled your knees closer to your chest as you buried your face in it. Clearly, they were enjoying those two few days you were absent, since they got to finish practice early and with no interruption nor mistakes. But, now that you're around, they knew exactly what awaited them.

Jeno saw you curled up into a ball and eyes making its way up to the students who looked so angry with you making him frown. "M/n. Don't mind them. You're actually doing even greater than them." He tried to cheer you up, so you acknowledged it with a smile.

"Thanks, Jeno. But, I don't think that will change the fact that my uneasiness with the dance is the reason why we have to start over and over again." You sighed and placed your head back down on your knees, Jeno drawing circles on your back.

A moment later, the mentor came walking in, displeased to see you present. "Oh, welcome back... M/n." He stated before you could hear those loud snickers coming from the students. You and Jeno were the first ones to stand in position, the others following suit. The mentor's face lit up with an idea on his mind. "Can everyone please take a seat for a couple of minutes?" He smiled, then looking at you. "Except for you, L/n."

Jeno's eyes fell upon you, a worried look on his face, mouthing 'I'll be fine' to reassure him as he sat back down along with the other students until it was only you and the mentor left standing. "You think telling your 'boyfriend' about me would scare me?" He mocked you with your head still hung low. "You have to try better than that." He smirked, pulling a chair to seat on it. His legs were on either side of the chair, so his chest was pressed upon the back rest of the chair to face you. "Start."

You were startled by the sudden order and went into position, but you only started fidgeting out of fear. "Where... I.. sir.. Do I stand—"

"L/n!" He yelled at you, making you jump from the sudden raise of his voice. You knew telling Jaehyun was a bad idea. "Fix yourself, will you? The performance is due tomorrow and you're such a mess." The misery you were caged in were the happiness of the students as they started to giggle, your fist clenching hard until your knuckles turned white.

The music started, but you were still nowhere from moving your body. You just stood there, head hanging low while gnashing your teeth. You weren't angry at the mentor. You were angry at yourself. You were angry that you couldn't do any better. You practiced the dance so hard, yet it were still so far from perfecting it. You just wished some kind of spirit would possess you and lead your body.

The whole place started to laugh at you as they watched you shamelessly froze on your position. You felt a small jab on your ribs that made you open your clenched fists and saw Jeno standing right beside you with a grin on his face, your expression softening as he started to lead the dance. Slowly, you felt your own body move to the beat and rhythm of the song, being at the same flow with Jeno. The students only watched while the song ended.

A slow clap from your mentor was heard, a smile plastered on his face. "Way to impress me you two, huh?" He stood from the chair and waisted his arms. "L/n." His eyes moved to you, expecting yet another scolding. "I'm proud of you. Keep up that confidence and I just know you'll do great." You felt a smile creeping its way up to your face, before the mentor closed in on you and ruffled your hair. "Alright, everyone. From the top."

-----

The practice ended at exactly eight o' clock in the evening and you were already feeling drained, your sweat soaked shirt sticking to your body. Your forehead glistened with sweat, that ran down to the side of your cheeks. You panted heavily and flopped your body down on the polished floor.

Why that late you ask? Well, you and Jeno decided to stay for a few hours to polish the dance, him pointing out your mistakes and going back to the steps to correct you. You were grateful Jeno was a very patient guy, so whenever you made a mistake or wasn't executing the dance properly, he'd just chuckle and help you with your 'cute mistakes', at least that's what he called it.

"Finally..." You panted, Jeno settling himself beside you, his limbs sprawled all over the floor. "Done."

"You did so great, M/n! I knew you could pull this off." Jeno gave you a compliment that made you giggle, a hand on your chest to catch your breathe.

"And it was all thanks to you." You told him.

Jeno shook his head. "Ey. The only thing I did was help your body to loosen up."

"Exactly." The cute noises coming out of your mouth once more. "Do you think we should practice more?" You asked the older who moved his head to look at you.

"Still up for one more?" He smiled knowingly at you, while you nodded at him. You both stood up from where you both lied and you went to your position with Jeno moving to the speakers to play the song for the last time.

The minute you both finished, you were so exhausted that your knees couldn't hold themselves up anymore and you fell to the ground, groaning. You were panting heavily, starting to even your breathing at the same time laughing proudly at yourself for how well you've done. "When I get home, I'm gonna take a shower and then, throw myself on the bed and sleep."

Jeno could only laugh and you two were left with half an hour talking about all the things in life. You listened to him rant about how the mentor was being more harsh on you than the other students, but you only shook the topic off telling him that it no longer mattered and that he should already move on. You had also thanked him for helping you, during that time when you had to do the dance routine all by yourself. You really didn't know what else to do than to just stand there and sulk.

A few minutes later, both of you were now starting to pack, Jeno having to make a quick visit to the restroom, leaving you all alone inside the studio. You were changing into a dry shirt, when the voice of the janitress from behind the window made your body go tense as you jumped and turned towards her. "Oh, fuck." You sighed out in relief, holding your hand close to your chest. "You scared me, ma'am."

Her eyes turned into those that looked like crescents and smiled. "My bad. Probably shouldn't have passed by unannounced." She nodded and proceeded to mop the hallway floor.

You were about to ask her about a certain matter that was troubling you, but when you lifted your head to face the woman, she was not there anymore. "Uh.. probably left for something." You shrugged it off and went back to scrolling through your feeds, the certain feeling of being watched sending chills down your spine. The silence was so deafening that you started to whistle to a song you were currently into, just to help calm the unnerving feeling. You started to feel all the hair on your body stand on its end when a very harsh opening of the door sent you off flying, then to the ground your heart beating so fast. "Shit!"

Jeno was obviously confused why you got so scared by him just pushing the door open, but he was also laughing at your state which made you glare at him. He helped you stand back up to your feet, as you dusted your pants from any invisible dirt. "What the hell happened to you?"

"You scared the shits out of me. That's what happened." You scoffed at him, hitching your back higher onto your shoulders. "Let's go." You two vacated the room, making sure to lock it, but you told Jeno not to since the janitress was still yet to finish cleaning, but Jeno was greatly puzzled at what you had said.

"What in the world are you talking about?" Jeno laughed lightly before proceeding to lock the door and hung an arm around your shoulder.

"I saw her through the window." You added.

Jeno shook his head in disbelief and didn't fall for your trick to scare him off. "First, the school does not hire a janitress or a janitor, since they have working students. Second, so the dance major students don't get distracted, the window inside the room is tinted, so you basically don't see anything outside."

You felt your heart sink at the revelation as you felt all your blood get drained. "Are you... s-sure?"

"Yeah." Jeno answered your question. You slowly turned your head back towards the room, the windows and saw a black figure waving their hands at you that made you sprinting off to the entrance, leaving a dumbfounded Jeno as he followed behind you. "What the hell, M/n?"

"Shut... up! You were not the one left inside the dance room, so you wouldn't know how much I'm fucking scared, right—"

"M/n!"

"FUCK!" You screamed on the top of your lungs, stomping your foot and punching the air for no apparent reason. "Jaehyun, you... nevermind. Just take me home, please. I think I'm already fucking wasted." Jaehyun, who was on his casual attire, approached you and placed a kiss on top of your head.

[boldlyvoid]

36 Questions to Fall in Love

Summary: When Derek bets Spencer that he cant make someone fall in love with him in a week, he doesn’t expect Spencer to marry the girl the next day

warnings: strangers to lovers, blind dates, betting, talks of: drug use, drug addiction, abusive marriages, rape, sexual assault, abuse, attempted murder, mass shootings, parental death, love confessions, elopements, opposite of slow burn

word count: 8K

A/N: this is based on a request I received a while back about this article

Derek was a betting man, to say the least. He knew Spencer was from Vegas, he also knew Emily couldn’t say no to a challenge and that Rossi had enough money to burn. Betting at work was the best way to have fun when he worked there, and now he can’t stop.

“I’m not saying con a woman into loving you, I’m saying let us find a girl and let’s see if she can fall in love with you, take a week off from work and just spend time wooing her, and in a week, me or Emily will hit on her, if she turns us down for you, then you’ve won.”

Derek explained it like it was simple, and yet the mere thought of being set up with someone was horrifyingly nerve-wracking. But he got Spencer to agree… unbeknown to him that he had another bet going on the side.

You see earlier that day he was invited to Penelope’s apartment, her younger sister was moving in for a little while and they needed a big strong man to help move the boxes. And like Penelope, Y/N was really chatty and overly friendly really fast. It was like he’s always known Y/N Garcia.

She explained to Derek how hard it was in California to find good men who want someone to love them, she’s tired of guys thinking she comes on too fast, she wants someone who wants to settle and have kids and be a dad. Not a Vain narcissist who only cares about what the city can offer him.

“The last guy I went on a date with literally ran when I mentioned I read a New York Times article about 36 questions to make you fall in love… I just want a person to love? Is that really so hard?”

A lightbulb goes off in Derek’s mind, and Penelope almost reads it.

“Spencer.” They both reply with the same cheeky grin.

“I bet you, you could be as insane as you say you are and he’d still be in love with you by the end of the week.” Derek teases, and the way she smiles shows just how interested she is.

—

Woo her.

The words have rattled around in his brain every second of every moment since Derek said he found a girl for him.

She was free on Saturday, all Spencer had to do was tell Derek where she should meet him and all Penelope had to do was not mention to Spencer that she had a sister, it was up to Y/N when Spencer learned that fact.

She’s already there at the restaurant when he arrives, he’s not sure what he was expecting when Derek said he found the perfect girl but it wasn’t this. He was thinking it was going to be a joke, that either no one would show or Derek was hooking him up with some hot blonde who was way out of his league.

She was beautiful in a nice dress, her makeup was stunning and she looked so content sitting there, waiting for him. Starring her ice water with a straw, she wasn’t paying any attention to the room, she barely knew he was there.

“Hi?” He said softly, not wanting to startle her.

“Hi,” she beamed up at him, that same unsure look on her face. Neither of them was expecting anything from the other, but they were pleasantly surprised.

“Spencer Reid,” he says, actually extending a hand to shake her’s because it’s the chivalrous thing to do.

She reaches out her hand, watching him take it and kiss her knuckle softly, she’s so surprised. “Oh, um, Y/N Garcia,” she whispers the name and his eyes go wide.

“Garcia?” He panics a little, sitting down in the booth and facing her as her face drops at his reaction.

“Did he not tell you I’m Penelope’s sister? I knew Derek was up to something,” she looked like it was all too good to be true, upset almost.

“He didn’t, he probably wanted you to tell me, I mean this all so we can get to know each other,” Spencer shrugs it off, interested in seeing why Derek picked her of all people.

“I guess,” she smiled again, “so what do you do?”

“I work with Penelope, I specialize more in psycho-linguistics and geographical profiling.”

She nods in approval, “I’m a high school English teacher.”

Spencer laughs lightly, “what’s that like?”

“Interesting to say the least, especially in California. Every kid there wants to be on TikTok, no one cares about reading any of the books I ask them too,” she just shakes her head. “I’m worried about the next generation.”

“Me too, it’s almost alarming how many kids are unsubs,” he agrees. She’s so easy to talk to, he’s suddenly not nervous anymore and the waiter is coming to take their order.

He never even opened the menu, “what looks good?” He asks Y/N, nervous and she can tell.

“I think I’m going to have the lobster, let’s go all out?” She shrugged again, both of them feeling more adventurous than normal.

“I’ll have that as well,” Spencer smiled, keeping eye contact with only her as she handed the menus back to him.

They ordered sides and appetizers, stuffed mushrooms and fresh bread, it was amazing. They traded small facts about each other, Spencer noticed a lot of Penelope’s quirks in her, she was very friendly and kind and funny. She loved to tease him and make him laugh, his stomach hurt by the time their lobsters came out.

“I’ve never done this before,” she admits, putting on her bib and holding the claw cracker in one hand.

“Neither have I, but I think it’s fairly simple you just need to apply the correct amount of pressure,” he demonstrates by picking up the crustacean and cracking it at its weakest point before twisting it open.

He’s surprised he did it, so is she as she copies is movements and struggles a bit. “You got it, come on,” he encourages her as she squeezed so hard her hands shake but the shell does eventually crack.

She smiles like she just won the science fair, overly proud as they stare at each other. Enamoured already by just how cute the other was.

“So, what do you do for fun outside being a fed?” She teases between bites.

“I like to spend my time finding new things, I tend to go to the same spots often but I’m always looking for new places. I like the theatre, the old cemetery is nice, I’m excited for the new phantasmagoria to open this fall,” he explains all his interests as he cracks away at his dinner. “I just like to try and appreciate what’s out there, after everything I see.”

“That’s really nice, I’ve always wanted to go to a phantasmagoria actually, science magic is the best kind of magic,” she says it like it’s nothing, almost embarrassed by the interest.

“Me too, I love magic,” Spencer lights up, “I can actually do some magic, hold on.”

He digs his NA chip out of his pocket, showing it to her quickly before making it disappear and reappear behind her ear and she was so smitten, “how the heck?” She asked as she reached for her own ear, shocked at the fact he could do it.

“Do you always keep a coin on you for that?”

He thinks about it for a second, not knowing if he should tell her or not. “No, I keep this on me for support.”

He places it on the table, she picks it up instead and inspects it carefully, “2 years is a really long time, I’m really proud of you.”

He feels like he falls in love with her in that moment, she places the chip back in his hand and smiles, “it’s not easy to admit nor recover from, it’s something you should be really proud of Spencer.”

“Thank you,” he blushes, “um, is there anything else you want to know about me?”

She bites the inside of her lip as she thinks, “actually I was reading an article the other day that said there are a list of personal questions you can ask someone and by the end of all of them you should be in love with the person.”

He thought it was a good opportunity to take a sip of water, upon hearing the word love he realizes it was a mistake. He chokes lightly, coughing as he puts the glass back down and apologizes.

“Love?” He repeats the word.

“I’m going to be real honest here Spencer, I don’t date to get my heartbroken, I date to find my life partner so if you’re not interested in marriage or kids one day tell me now,” she’s very stern about it and he can tell she’s gotten her hopes up and heart broken before.

“I want that too, I just didn’t expect you to be so upfront about it,” he’s honest, because clearly that’s what she wants from him. “What was on the question list?”

“Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?” She asks, remembering the questions easily.

“Wow,” he takes a moment to think about it, “alive or dead?”

“Sure, why not,” she shrugs.

“Probably biological Eve,” he comes to the decision rather quickly. “I’ve always been fascinated with the fact all humans can be traced back to one single women. I’m sure she was amazing, it must have been so interesting being the first women on earth.”

“That is the coolest answer anyone has ever given me,” she smiles, “I think I’d be boring and have dinner with Julia Roberts.”

“She’s a very talented actress,” he smiles, recognizing the name from Penelope’s movie nights. “Um, I have an eidetic memory, do you have the list I can just read it once and then we can spit it back and forth easily.”

She looks at him with wide eyes and a growing smile, “yeah hold on.” She takes out her cellphone and pulls up the article before handing it to him.

He reads it quickly and then hands it right back, she was amazed, surely it was a joke? “Would I like to be famous?” He repeats the next question to himself.

“No,” he’s very certain. “I’ve had some encounters with psychopaths who think they are my biggest fans, perfect match or my only rival, and it’s not fun. I’m sure being adored is lovely, but I don’t like the attention if it’s not from a good place.”

“So you want praise but you don’t want a stalker?” She dumbs it down slightly with a smile, “I definitely don’t want to be famous because I don’t like other peoples opinions about me.”

“That’s incredibly fair.”

“Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say?” She asks the next one.

“If it’s for work or my mother, yes,” he answers it completely honestly. “I prefer not to make phone calls, so when I have to make them I typically spend the day before panicking.”

She smiles, “well, if you ever need someone to call tech support and pretend to be you, I am really good on the phone.”

“Like Penelope?”

She nods, “we spent a lot of time talking on the phone when she moved to Virginia for your team.”

“That must have been really hard, I’m surprised she hasn’t mentioned you yet?”

“I’m not really her sister,” she smiles, “I wish I was. I met her during a really abusive relationship and I didn’t feel close to my parents anymore, so my old name didn’t feel right either. Penelope and her brothers were the closest thing I had to family, so I took their name after my divorce.”

“That’s beautiful,” his smile is so soft, she wonders if he feels the same about Penelope.

“What do you consider a perfect day?” She moves on before she can pry into his personal life further, just to pry into his personal life further— in another direction.

“Nobody dies.”

“Even the bad guys?” She squints as she asks it, wondering if that was an appropriate topic for the first date.

“I’m not a fan of the prison system, and I’m really not a very big fan of suicide by cop, let alone lethal injection,” he explained. “Just because you’re a murderer or a psychopath doesn’t mean you have to die too, there is rehabilitation and a way to keep them sane and alive while keeping people safe. I just hate when people die.”

“Me too,” her smile is sad, “my perfect day would be having my parents back, I’d like to show them my degree and go out for ice cream and give them another hug.”

“We should have our perfect days back to back,” his voice is low, he was nervous to say it. “Cause then once you bring them back, I stop people from dying and they can stay forever.”

He sees her heartbreak as the tears well in her eyes, “that would be nice.”

“Um,” he clears his throat and then takes a sip of water. “When was the last time you sang to yourself, or someone else?”

“I was singing in the car on the way here,” she smiles with a sniffle, “I sing a lot actually. I’m always humming or tapping as well, if my mind is wandering then it has to make some kind of noise.”

“What is your favourite thing to hum?” He can’t stop himself from asking it, “I personally do the muppets, duh duh nanana, manamanah.”

She laughs again, and a tear slips out as her eyes close. She hurries to wipe it away, “I often find myself doing the teletubbies song, you know; ‘Tinky-Winky, Dipsy,’” she sings the words before humming the tune to match.

“That’s a good one too,” Spencer is really enthusiastic suddenly, the way he would be with Penelope. He was really comfortable. “If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?”

“Mind, because that’s how you keep a good body. If I can keep the strength and willpower to get up in the mornings and go to work and remember why I love being alive, I’ll be young forever,” she answers like it’s rehearsed.

“I was going to say I’d want my mind too, but the way you said it is a lot more elegant,” he teases. “My mom has Alzheimer's, you were honest about wanting kids and you should know that's genetic. I can also pass on schizophrenia and any other mental illness, like depression, bipolar disorder and most definitely anxiety—

“Spencer,” she reaches across the table for his hand, “breathe, that’s not scary to me. My grandma had it too, I’m not optimal gene-wise either.”

He takes a deep breath, “Sorry.”

“It makes you real to react like that, I don’t mind seeing that side of you. Fake strong men and men who compensate are the worst, in my opinion.”

“Mine too,” he agrees. “I am an anxious worrier, I barely sleep, I’m terrified of the dark, I have PTSD nightmares about my short stay in prison, and I cry a lot when I’m alone.”

“It was a mistake clearly? The prison stay, that is.”

“Yeah,” he nods, moving to the next question. “Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?”

She laughs through her nose at the switch topic change, “well until I was 19 I thought my husband was going to kill me, then I thought maybe it would be myself, now I’m content dying in my sleep when I'm old.”

“It is ever-changing,” he agrees. “I have died before.”

“What did it feel like?”

She doesn’t ask how, she knows he was sober, she knows he’s been to prison, she knows he’s an agent. It wasn’t a surprise. Penelope even almost died once before, it was an unfortunate part of the job.

“Warm.”

“Like soothing warm, like drinking a hot chocolate, or that uncomfortable warm like being in a hot car?”

“Like a hug.”

Her lips purse, she hums a bit. “Yeah, my answer stays the same.”

“Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.”

“You like to learn,” she smiles again. “You enjoy the mysteries and the horribleness of the world because it keeps you grounded. You love your mom.”

“We love Penelope, our hearts have similar scars, life has been mean to us for no reason,” he adds 3 more for good measure.

“What are you grateful for in life?” She asks the next question.

“I’ve never said this before,” he prefaces, “but found family. If it wasn’t for my team, no matter who was coming and going over the years, anyone who has had my back. Anyone who loves me in any capacity. That’s what I’m grateful for.”

“We’re not even through the first set of questions and I can see why everyone loves you,” she admits. Moving far too fast, doing exactly what Derek wanted from her.

To scare him and see if he still stays.

“Can I tell you a secret?” Spencer stops the questions, “I can’t continue if I can’t tell you this.”

“Yeah, what’s wrong?”

“Derek and Emily bet me $20 that I couldn’t get someone to fall in love with me, he wanted to set this up and then hit on you in a week and see if you picked me over him, and it feels like a really shitty thing to do to you. It’s making me feel like you’re an object more than a person and I feel really bad about it.”

She just laughs and he has no idea why. “He bet me that I could be as insane as I am with most of my dates and you’d still want to stay with me after a week.”

“You’re not mad?” He worries, by passing her words and the implications of it all.

“No, did you truly mean how you feel?”

“Yes…”

“Then I accept your apology, you’re really kind Spencer. I believe you when you speak, I trust you,” she explains her reasoning and he settles once more. “You’re the most real man I’ve ever met, I think.”

“Thank you,” he smiles again, reaching out for her hand once more, “do you want to finish these questions?”

“Not really,” she smirks, “I think they were wrong about all 35 of them making you fall in love with someone.”

“How so?”

“It only took me 9.”

It’s so absurd they start to laugh, making eye contact, they feel delirious. His hand in hers, she squeezes it lightly and he never wants to let it go.

“Do you want to get out of here?”

“Sure, did you drive?” She asks.

“No, I walked over.”

She gets up from the table and takes his hand once more, “well, are we going to mine or yours?”

“Are you living with Penelope?”

“Yours it is then,” she teases, bumping his shoulder. This was going to be fun.

Spencer pays for their meal and meets her out front, he gets in her passenger seat and gives her the directions. “Do you want to finish the questions on the drive?” He asks.

“Hmm, well, 11 is a long one, if you want to start telling me your life story in graphic detail? Or we can jump to 12 and you can tell me what super ability you’d like to wake up with?”

“Have you ever watched star trek?”

She’s not expecting that, it makes her take a double-take, she laughs lightly, “Yeah, why?”

“Deanna Troi can sense peoples emotions, I think that would really help with my job,” he explains it easily. “And in times like this.”

“I can just tell you,” she offers, pulling into his apartment complex, she can tell why he walked.

“You don’t have to yet, let it simmer,” he smiles softly, he’s not ready for her to make a decision like loving him when she really doesn’t know everything yet. “Come inside?”

She nods, getting out and taking his hand again for the walk inside. His house is green, and it makes sense. There are door wooden bookshelves and the distant smell of old books and spilled coffee, it’s dusty and old and very Spencer.

“Can I tell you some of my story?” She asks as she kicks her shoes off.

“Absolutely,” he follows her lead, “do you want anything, wine, water?”

“Wine would be nice,” she smiles, following him to the kitchen, “you know my favourite place to talk to someone is in the kitchen.”

“Why?”

“It's the heart of the house,” she smiles slightly, “that's what my mom used to say. This is where all the love happens.”

He loves her and he knows it already, she makes him happy and calm and if she’s in the heart of his house she might as well know all of his own heart.

“I was born in Vegas,” Spencer admits, pushing his life story past his lips before she can stop him or else he wouldn’t.

“My mom was a professor, my dad is an attorney, I have always been really smart and not so athletic, I enjoy chess and reading and I had big thick glasses as a child. My mom participated in a murder and my dad covered it up and that ruined their marriage but they blamed it on her schizophrenia when he left. And then I was left to raise her when she was supposed to be raising me. I cared for her until I turned 13, I left her during the weeks and my aunt would make sure she was okay and I would travel back and forth from CalTech and Vegas on the weekends.”

She can see the exhaustion on his face at just remembering it.

“I got my licence at 16, and then I took her car and it was easier. When I was 18 I put her in a sanatarium and sold her house and took a road trip with my friend to Virginia to go to the academy. He didn’t like it after a week and asked me to go with him to New Orleans and I didn’t— I met my mentor and joined the BAU instead. I was kidnapped and drugged by a man with DID… I died and then his personality switched and Tobias brought me back. I had an addiction to Dilaudid for a few months after, then I got sober after visiting Ethan in New Orleans.”

“Was he good to you?”

“Wonderful,” he smiles, “he was my shoulder to cry on for a long time and I didn’t realize how much I needed him in my recovery until we got a case and I had a reason to see him. I missed a plane and ignored my friends to just be with him. He’s the reason I got clean, not anything else… he told me that I was too special to hate myself, and he was right.”

“He was,” she smiles. “He sounds lovely.”

“And then, the first time I saw my mom after putting her in the sanatarium was because she told parts of our case to a man who lost his daughter, and he did a lot of messed up stuff… like he shot my co-worker. She was another special person to me—“

“I’m so sorry.”

He smiles, “she lived, don’t worry. I loved Elle, she was amazing but the bureau didn’t see that. She was a broken toy to them, we all become one eventually. I miss her a lot.”

She walks into his space and wraps her arms around him, giving him a hug as he rests against the counter, she makes no attempt to move back. Holding him in the heart of the house, close to her own. He holds her back just as tight.

“Maeve, she was another person I loved who got shot, she died. I see her sometimes when I sleep, she visits me when I’m in the most need. I’ll always love her, but she’s gone. The only other woman who claims to have loved me was a psychopath who is dead now too, she framed me for murder, had me drugged, kidnapped my mother and the list goes on and it’s not pretty. In prison she had a lot of bad things happen to me, I have scars that will never heal and a part of me was lost but I’m okay now.”

They have a moment of silence in the middle of their stories, she absorbs it while preparing her own, rubbing his back as her cheek stays pressed to his chest.

“I was born in California, my parents were high school sweethearts, they made me at prom. Learned that from the scrapbooks,” she laughs against his chest, “they were great and then they died when I was 14, it was a mass shooting at a mall, and I went to a foster home. I married the oldest son in the home after he groomed me for a few years… I met Penelope when I was 20 and she helped me get divorced and back on my feet and her brothers protected me.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“I’m sorry you relate to loss.”

“It's the one thing that unites us all, really,” Spencer’s voice is barely a whisper. “When you think about it, we’re all born and we all die, the only difference is how we fill the middle.”

They never get to that bottle of wine he mentioned, she pulls back and asks the next question as she drags him to his bedroom. “If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future, or anything else, what would you want to know?”

“If I get to have kids.”

She drags him into the room and closes the door, “that was going to be my answer.”

“Is there something that you've dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven't you done it?” He asks as she starts to take her clothes off.

“Sleep beside the love of my life.”

“I’ve never woken up beside the love of my life,” he replies with a soft smile and follows suit, getting undressed down to their underwear before climbing in bed.

“Greatest accomplishment?” She asks as they settle in, laying her cheek on his chest once more.

He takes a moment to think of everything he’s done that has been good, and one really stands out. “there was a case a few years back, we found a bunch of kids who went missing and returned them to their families and gave answers to the families of children who didn’t make it. Days like that feel like a reward.”

“Getting divorced,” she pushes the words out quickly.

“Most valued friendship?” He asks, knowing she doesn’t need to explain herself.

“Penelope.”

“Derek.”

“Most treasured memory?”

“When JJ placed her son in my arms and told me I was his godfather,” his voice is hushed and she knows it’s because he doesn’t want to cry. “It's the closest I’ve gotten to being a father so far.”

“I got an end of the year present when I was first starting out, this girl told me that I was the reason she enjoyed reading again and it was the reason I started teaching, I’ll never forget her. Tammy Brownlee, she graduated in 2009 and we’ve been Facebook friends ever since.”

“Most terrible memory?”

“My parents dying.”

“You’d think mine would be dying right?” He asked, she nodded against his chest, “it was actually being held down by 3 men, getting a sock shoved in my mouth while they beat me.”

She kissed his chest softly, “I’m sorry, I know that feeling. Mind you, he was only 1 man, it’s not a good feeling.”

“If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?”

“If it’s definite; not like a chance or a cancer statistic, if it’s like this is the day you die no ifs and's or butts, then I’d just continue as normal and have 1 really awesome day right before,” she smiles against him. “Make the most of it all.”

“If I was dying a year today, I’d ask you to marry me.”

“Already?” She laughs, thinking he’s kidding.

“You want a nice husband and a kid? I will be good for you as long as I know you, and I’ll have as many kids as you want me to help you make.”

She’s silent as she thinks about it. “What does friendship mean to you?”

“Someone who is there for you even when they don’t want to be, even when it’s hard,” Spencer whispers, thinking about his friends.

“It means hacking the government and voiding a marriage and changing someone's name so they can escape,” Y/N whispers. “don’t tell the feds she did that too.”

“What roles do love and affection play in your life?”

“I crave it and hardly receive it, but I give it out like it’s a sample at costco,” she snickers at the example she gave. “It’s something that people have always admired about me and yet it’s also the thing that scares people away. When I love, I love hard and it’s full and annoying and you will feel suffocated sometimes, but just tell me when and I’ll back off.”

“I don’t know how to ask for what I need,” Spencer whispers. “But I need someone to love me like that.”

“The next one is to alternate 5 good things about each other,” she rests her chin on her hand as she looks up at his face in the darkness, “soft.”

He pauses for a moment, bypassing the easiest one and saying pretty, instead, he says; “you’re honest.”

“You’re very caring,” she replies.

“You see beauty in the world still.”

She smiles at that one, “you make the world beautiful.”

“You are beautiful.”

“And you’re handsome, that’s my 4th,” she keeps track in her head.

“You’re true, to your heart, your promises, everything.”

“And you’re real, you see the world for what it is and you don’t try to change it for the better. You want to make it manageable,” her explanation is the longest one yet. “Was your childhood happy, and do you feel close with your family still?”

“I write to my mom every single day and I drop the notes off weekly, and no,” he doesn’t want to cry, but he feels like he might again. “It was liveable, I made it.”

“Mine was happy until I was 14, then I was alone, I have 1 living aunt and she is strange but I get a card from her every Christmas,” Y/N adds. “I’d like to think your lack of love and my need to fill the world with what I miss from my parents will make a really good family dynamic.”

“Me too.”

“How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?” She asks, “I think I know already, but it’s the next one.”

“She hit me a few years ago because I made her take some medicine, she hit me once when I was a kid too…” he whispers them so that they stay a secret, if they can’t be heard else where then they don’t exist in his mind. “She was a wonderful mother but the worst memories stick out the most now. She’s forgetting everything and all I can remember is how hard it’s been on me, like a bad son.”

“My mom was my best friend, and I still talk to her every day, I bring her and my dad around with me in my necklace,” she pulls the chain on her neck and shows him the little jar. “Mom, Dad, this is Spencer. Spencer, this is my mom and dad.”

He holds it in his hand and tips it gently, “nice to meet you.”

“The next one is weird,” she changed the topic again.

“Make three true "we" statements each. For instance, "We are both in this room feeling…" Spencer says it verbatim. “We are both feeling understood.”

“We are both hopeful.”

“We are both falling in love,” Spencer ends the feelings with the most prominent one.

“We are,” she agrees with another smile.

“Finish this,” he insists on moving forward, “I wish I had someone I could share…”

“The rest of my life with,” she whispers this time. “If we become besties, what’s something I should know?”

“I think I’ve told you all the important stuff so far,” Spencer thinks hard, pausing for a moment. “My butt is ticklish?”

It makes her giggle, “that is a good one. My sides and the bottom of my feet are ticklish too.”

“Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you've just met,” Spencer reads the question back from memory, “don’t be afraid to be too honest.”

“I like that you know how I feel but I hate that you’ve been hurt. I like how you listen to me, and I really like how comfortable you make me feel. I’m almost naked in your bed right now and I know you’d never, ever hurt me, and I haven’t felt that in a really long time.”

“I like that you are indulging me in the dream of becoming a husband and a dad one day… most people say it’ll happen but they never picture it. No one has ever said yeah id have your kids. I like that you know what you want and you’re actively looking for it.”

She moves up so she can hold his face in her hands, “only 7 more. Is it working?”

He nods, “my most embarrassing moment is the time I had a wet dream on the work jet.”

She laughs and then covers her mouth in panic, “I’m sorry that’s not funny.”

“It is, it’s fine,” he smiles. “I was dreaming about kissing this actress we helped, she actually did kiss me in the pool, so I guess it was bound to happen.”

She leans in and presses her lips against his, holding his cheeks in her hands his wrap around her waist as he holds her there. She peppers smaller kisses to his lips before pulling back, “we both cried in front of each other already today, so next question.”

“Tell me what you like about me already?”

Her hands trail his chest and down towards his boxers, he’s hard again from just kissing and she smirks, “this is promising.”

His hand on her back unclips her bra, “I love boobs, not even going to lie. They are my weakness.”

She pushes the straps down and tosses her bra aside, pressing her naked chest against his, she moves on. “What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?”

“Being called insane, saying I'm seeing things, or acting crazy, those are things I don’t like to be told because they make my anxiety worse.”

“Noted,” she smiles. “I talk to myself a lot so get ready for that.”

“Okay,” he smiles, she’s way too easy to be real.

“I don’t want to mention my last husband from here on out, I think if I get married again I will never tell anyone I have a first husband,” she’s firm in her words.

“Technically, Y/N Garcia has never had a husband,” he reminds her.

Her face lights up at the realization, “you’re right.”

“If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven't you told them yet?” Spencer asks.

“I regret not screaming at my ex before I disappeared but I wanted to live.”

He hums, understanding how it feels. “There isn’t anyone in specific I’ve wanted to tell this to, but I wanted to kill people when I was in prison. It made me really angry being in there and I let myself dream about killing people who hurt me and then I almost did kill someone.”

“Remember what you said about bad guys?” She whispers a helpful tip, “even the worst people deserve to have a chance at life. And you’re not hardly as bad as the worst people you’ve met.”

“You’re right,” he agrees. “Thank you.”

“This place burns down, what’s one thing you’d run back inside for? Outside of people and animals…” she asks the 3rd last question.

“The book Maeve gave me.”

“The girlfriend who died?” She confirms, and he nods. “If my place with Penelope burned down, I just want my necklace and I don’t take it off that often.”

“The next question is interesting,” Spencer thinks about it, “Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing, and why?”

“I’m glad I wasn’t at the mall with my parents, if I saw them get shot it would hurt more,” she whispers. “I’m sorry you had to see Maeve die like that.”

“In a way, I’m glad I saw Maeve get shot, otherwise I wouldn’t have believed it. She never felt real to me and then she was dead…”

She just hums, “Share a personal problem and ask your partner's advice on how he or she might handle it,” she whispers the last question.

“Also, ask your partner to reflect to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen,” Spencer adds in the second half.

“I need to find a place to stay now that I’m here, I don’t want to keep living with Penelope. As much as I love her, I want my own place,” Y/N admits.

“I think I’m in love with this girl that I just met and I don’t know if it’s too soon to ask her to look for a house with me?” Spencer pretends to sigh, “she’s super cool and I think we’d make some nice kids. I would love some advice.”

“Has she told you she loves you yet?” She teases.

Spencer shakes his head. “I love you, Y/N.”

“I love you, too, Spencer,” she replies, leaning in one more time to kiss him.

It’s deeper this time, she breathes him in and rests her forehead against his as she breathes between them.

“How did that work?” She whispers, truly amazed at how easy it was.

He shrugs, “it’s a good questionnaire.”

“You were really honest, your heart is really pure and I would like to get to know you more, but I feel like I know everything?” She shakes her head while she talks, overthinking all the things she has learned, “I don’t even know what could be left?”

“My birthday is October 28th?” He whispers, “we have a lot to discover yet.”

—

When she doesn’t come home in the morning, Penelope knows she’s at Reid’s house. She just doesn’t expect to walk in and find them naked in Reid’s bed, out cold and cuddled together with their clothes all over the room.

It looks like something happened. If only she knew the truth.

“Oh my god?” Penelope’s voice wakes them up and Spencer scrambles to make sure they are covered by his blankets.

“What are you doing here?” Y/N shouts as she wakes up.

“I came to see if you were okay. I expected one of you to be on the couch, I didn’t think it went this good?”

“We just slept in the same bed, I promise,” Spencer turned bright red as he panicked, “we just got to know each other and talked all night, in what we normally sleep in.”

“Uh-huh,” Penelope smirks, “so I take it the 36 questions worked?”

“Perhaps,” Y/N smirks back at her sister.

“Do you use it on many people?”

“No one has made it past the first question,” she smiles at him instead, kissing his cheek as Penelope watches.

“That’s my queue to go, um… yeah, wow, I didn’t see this happening so fast,” Penelope is shocked but in the best way.

She leaves just as fast as she arrived and Y/N settles back into Spencer the second she closes the bedroom door. “You know, if she’s not going to believe us we might as well do it? If you accidentally get me pregnant then we can move fast and no one will question it.”

He laughs, “accidentally, is the key word there.”

“My parents made me at prom after crushing on each other for 2 years… I think knowing each other for 2 days isn’t the weirdest way to start a family?”

“Honestly,” Spencer lets out a sigh and her happy mood drops to a more serious one. “I was a little worried that we’d wake up this morning and you’d change your mind.”

“Why?”

“In the heat of the moment, learning everything about each other and saying I love you was really exhilarating, but I have a hard time believing it,” he admits, “not many people mean it, or stay around after they tell me they love me.”

She cuddles back into the crook of his neck and holds him as tightly as possible, wrapping a leg around him for optimal coverage, “I am staying right here, because I love you, Spencer.”

“Okay,” he whispers. Sounding like he still doesn’t believe it.

“I love you because you’re honest, you want what I want and you’re truly kind. You’re friends with my sister, you’re smart, you would make a great dad, you won't hurt me, you are really nice to cuddle with, and I know you mean it when you say you love me because it’s not a word you use lightly.”

“Are you my girlfriend now?” He wonders aloud, “cause if you really want to have a kid, I have my mom's old wedding ring in my closet, and I would rather be married to you before we do that?”

“Okay,” she whispers, tears welling in her eyes as she hides her face in his neck, “the courthouse is literally just down the road?”

“We can get breakfast together after?” Spencer adds, rubbing her back as they plan, he wasn’t scared anymore.

“Penelope will kill me if she’s not there, can we have her as our witness?” Y/N finally sits up to look at him, pulling away to sit on the bed, still shirtless.

His smile while he tries to keep eye contact with her is so funny, she giggles a little as she hides her nipples behind her palms and cups her boobs.

“I’m pretty sure she’s still in my living room,” Spencer giggles, “Penelope!?”

She comes back in then, “yes?”

“We’re going to the courthouse to get married, wanna come?” Y/N asks with an embarrassed smile.

“Yes!” She cheers, “I’ll go get you a dress!”

And then she’s off again, this time actually leaving Spencer’s apartment. “What if we don’t tell Derek, and let him hit on me next week anyway?

“Then you can say ‘sorry I have a husband,’ and he’ll body slam me to the floor,” Spencer laughs nervously, “the whole team is going to be so pissed they missed my wedding…”

She frowns, “send out a mass text, tell them to meet us at the court house, it’s their day off right?”

“You’re right,” he smiles.

This was going to be interesting.

—

Walking out of the courthouse, hand in hand, she’s in a white dress, he’s in a suit he’d probably wear to work, Penelope is crying and the whole team is waiting outside for them.

At the bottom of the courthouse steps, they all clap and cheer, throwing rice at them like an old movie, Spencer’s smiling so hard his cheeks are burning. Y/N introduces herself to everyone, hugged over and over by everyone she should have met 15 years ago.

Derek is tapping his foot, waiting for Spencer to come and hug him, “what the fuck?” He asks as Spencer steps into his space, wrapping his arms around him and shaking his back and forth.

“Nice try, I’ll give you $20 as a thank you,” Spencer teases as he pulls away. “She is perfect.”

JJ and Will are busy talking to Y/N when he turns around, Mike and Henry not far behind them. Spencer walks over and wraps Henry up in his arms, the kid was growing way too fast, Spencer loved him so much it hurt sometimes.

“Y/N, this is my godson,” Spencer introduces them, “Henry, this is Y/N.”

She gives him a big hug too, “do you have any cousins, Henry?”

“No, but I was 8 when Michael was born,” he smiles, “and I’m getting old enough to be a good babysitter?”

Spencer laughed, messing up Henry’s hair quickly with a smile, “I’m sure by the time you’re a cousin you’ll be great.”

They take a group photo outside, Spencer and Y/N in the middle, everyone was smiling. It was the first time all of them had been in a photo together, the entirety of Spencer’s found family. Now they were Y/N’s too.

She hyphenated her last name, Y/N Garcia-Reid, and their kids would share the same one. He was not only about became a father thanks to Y/N, but Penelope would also become an Aunt once more. It was like a gift that kept on giving, seeing Spencer and Y/N create a little family of their own.

—

She cried her eyes out when she met Diana. She wasn’t expecting to be so emotional, but then Diana was lucid and very welcoming and sweet.

“It’s going to be a pleasure having you as my daughter,” Diana smiles, thinking it was just a nice thing to say.

Y/N cries and holds her so tight Diana almost can’t breathe but she lets her hold her as long as she needs to, “thank you.”

“You’re welcome?”

“I haven’t had someone to call mom since I was 14,” Y/N whispers, “if that’s okay?”

Diana hugs her just a little too tight in response, “you can call me mom whenever you want.”

“Just until you become a grandma,” she whispers again as she pulls back and Diana’s attention snaps to Spencer.

“Are you trying?”

He nods, “we want kids, we’re not getting any younger.”

Diana wraps him up in a hug and he almost falls off his chair at the sheer force of it, she was so happy for him. She knew this was all he’s ever wanted; because he would be good at it, he had all this love in his heart, and he wanted to show his father how easy it is to stay.

“You’re going to be a great dad, Spencer,” she holds his cheeks as she pulls away, “I’m proud of you.”

He cried. It’s all he’s wanted from her, and now he has everything right here in this room.

—

When they find out they’re pregnant after the first try, it’s really funny to them. It was all working so well, it was a little too much for them at first. They were looking for a house, she was looking for a permanent teaching job but Spencer convinced her to wait until after the baby is born to go back.

They name her Morgan Garcia-Reid as a thank you for Derek’s little bet, and before she’s even 6 months old they’re pregnant again. By the time they have 4 kids under 5 they take a break and just enjoy their little family.

To think Derek gave them 7 days to fall in love… and then they lived happily ever after.

taglist: @g0lden-cth @doctorspenceryeet @samuel-de-champagne-problems @reiding-recs @ssavanessa22 @spookyspence @shemarmooresfedora @spencers-dria@reidsfish @manuosorioh @mochionly @jswessie187 @k-k0129 @calm-and-doctor @blanchardsbk

[monkeydlesbian]

this is so random but,,, babysitting fukunaga’s little sister and he just looks at the two of u with the biggest heart eyes,,,that’s all i want tbh

babysitting

fukunaga shouhei x fem!reader

wc: ROUGHLY 1.6k ???

a/n: BRAINROT!!!!! this is literal brainrot i’m in so much pain i don’t know whether to bite u (affectionately) or kiss u for this. all payne no liam. also i didn’t mean for this to turn into a whole ass fic?? holy fuck i whipped this up in one night LMAO fukunaga brain just took over

warnings: maybe two (2) swear words, the beheading of dolls (just read. it will make sense), reader and fukunaga makeout, NOT PROOFREAD

You’re not exactly sure what you thought you were getting into when you had agreed to babysit Fukunaga’s little sister with him.

Sure, children are a little fucked up. But that’s why they’re so entertaining, right?

Fukunaga’s little sister is about five years old, and the embodiment of the “weird little girl” stereotype, you’ve come to find out. One minute she’s coloring (inside of the lines; really weird) in her jungle themed coloring book, and then the next she’s asking you if you’d like to watch her take the heads off of her dollies.

At first, you chuckled nervously at her and scratched the back of your neck, spitting out a meek: Yeah... haha... sure...

But then the smile she gives you is bright and toothy (or lack thereof; she had lost one of her front ones last week), grabbing your hand and dragging you towards her room. Your previous apprehension leaves you the moment you remember that you were just like her when you were younger.

No pink and sparkly nail polish, no princess playhouse, just you and the dead mouse you found outside that you had brought into the house. You remember your parents not letting you go outside for a week after that.

“Look, they come off so easy!” She squeals, excited, as she turns to you with the body of a doll in one hand and the head of it in the other. You stare at her for a couple seconds before you’re laughing, loud and genuine with your shoulders shaking and head thrown back.

You’re still laughing when you scoot closer to her on the floor, “Can I try?”

She looks at you with wide eyes and an excited smile, “You wanna rip their heads off with me?”

“Yes, if you wouldn’t mind,” you say politely, a little whimsical and formal, a tone that makes her giggle.

You can almost see her vibrating from where she’s sat on the floor before she jumps up, head and arms buried in the bin with all of her toys before she comes back up, another doll in her hand with an almost manic smile on her face.

She stumbles over to you and sets the doll in your hands. It’s a pretty one, with long brown hair and bright blue eyes. Too bad they won’t be attached to its body anymore.

She squeals and giggles again as you yank it’s head off, a loud popping sound following.

“Wasn’t that fun?!” She asks you, sitting down beside you and leaning her head on your arm.

“Oh yeah!” You confirm, reaching your hand around to pat her hair, giving her a playful scratch on the scalp. “Can the heads go back on, though?”

At that, she sighs, a pitiful sound that makes your heart clench. “No... but Mommy always buys me more! She does get mad at Shouhei when he rips them off with me, though.”

You laugh at the mention of her older brother, your classmate, your friend, the guy you really really like.

“That Shouhei would help you with something like that, wouldn’t he?” You ask, not really searching for an answer. It’s not really a question, honestly. More like a musing, a dreamy sigh that escapes your lips.

“Are you Shouhei’s girlfriend?” She asks suddenly, curious, turning to face you as she places her head in your lap.

You gasp at the question before your cheeks and neck start to heat up, like you stuck your upper body in a furnace.

“N-No!” You say, stuttering at the bluntness of her question.

“Oh,” She says; Disappointment laces her tone. “Well, you should be! He really likes you.”

“H- He what?”

“Yep!” She says, her response really not making any sense, but it makes sense to her. She’s smiling like she knows a secret, one that you happen to not know about.

“I— Well— Okay...” You trail off as you think about the boy in question, probably on the couch reading a book or flipping through the channels of the television to pass the time.

Next thing you know, Fukunaga’s mother is home from work to pick up her daughter and take her to her Jujutsu lessons.

She walks into the foyer and takes her heels off, putting on her slippers, and then she’s smiling. Smiling at the sight of Fukunaga’s very pretty friend fixing the belt of her daughters traditional Gi in the living room. Fukunaga sits on the couch, watching them with a little grin. His mother remembers how fond he is of you.

“Hey, bug! You ready to go?” She asks, her smile growing wider at the sunshiny smile her daughter sends her when you finish with her belt.

“Yep!” She beams, before grunting and planting her feet in a fighting stance in front of you, never faltering as you do the same.

“That was amazing!” She exclaims as she relaxes her body, throwing her arms up in the air as she grins at you.

“Why, thank you! I had a wonderful teacher,” You compliment her, grinning as color starts to bloom on her cheeks. Your grin turns into a watery smile the moment she attaches herself to your side, slinging her arms around your waist and burying her head into your hip.

“‘M g’nna miss you, Miss Y/N,” She mumbles against the fabric of your sweatshirt, squeezing you tight in her little arms.

Fukunaga and his mother nearly melt at the sight in front of them. Fukunaga wears a fond smile, one that makes it look like he’s almost daydreaming.

Except he’s not. It’s real this time.

You chuckle at her before you’re squatting down at her level, her arms dropping to her sides as you hold her face in your hands.

“You’ll see me again, silly,” You tease her, grinning as she scrunches her nose up at you. “I’m gonna be annoying your big brother for the rest of my life, so I’ll be here for a while.”

She giggles at that, “Good! He deserves it. He’s a boy, and boys are smelly.”

“That they are,” You and Fukunaga’s mother say simultaneously. Your eyes grow wide once you meet her own, then laughter rings inside of the living room from the two of you.

You stand up now and accept the hug she gives you when she walks across the room.

“Thanks for helping Shouhei today,” She says with a sigh as you pull away, smiling at the sheepish smile of your own.

“It was my pleasure,” You say as you watch Fukunaga’s sister walk over to her mom and cling to her leg. “We had so much fun!”

“I wouldn’t consider ripping the heads off of dolls to be fun, but I’m sure she really appreciates it. I do too.”

Your cheeks heat up at the praise from your crush’s mother as you fiddle with your fingers nervously. Then, out of the corner of your eye, you see Fukunaga suddenly standing up from his place on the couch and walking over to stand beside you, placing his elbow on your shoulder to lean his weight onto you.

The little girl at her moms side seems to get a little anxious standing there, if the tugging of her blazer was anything to go by.

You say your goodbyes to Fukunaga’s sister and his mom, the two of you waving as they walk out the door together.

The door closes shut and now it’s just you and Fukunaga in the house. Silence fills the living room.

Suddenly, he’s grabbing your hand, leading you towards the couch.

Your eyes grow wide when he sits down and next thing you know, you’re being yanked to sit on his lap.

“F-Fukunaga!” You yelp, heat filling your cheeks at the intimate position he put the two of you in.

“That’s my name, don’t wear it out,” He says, joking and innocent-sounding like he didn’t just place his large hands on your hips, rubbing his thumbs above the soft fabric of your sweatshirt.

“You— I— Wha—?” You seem to short circuit at the way he’s looking up at you, smile fond and eyes soft, like you’ve hung the goddamn moon.

“You’re good with her,” He muses, his hands shifting from your hips and over your skirt to rest on the bit of your thighs that’s exposed. “Not many people are.”

“Well— She’s uh— She was like me as a kid,” You nearly choke on your own words when you feel Fukunaga’s hand squeeze the curve of your knee, hooking his hand under it.

“You ripped the heads off of your dolls too?” He asks, an amused smirk gracing his lips.

You laugh, “No, but I did bring a dead mouse into the house one time. I wasn’t allowed outside for a week.”

This time it’s Fukunaga who laughs, eyes scrunched shut and head thrown back against the couch as his shoulders shake under your hands. You would’ve melted at the sight had you not been laughing too.

“Why haven’t I kissed you yet?” Fukunaga asks suddenly as your laughter dies down. He asks it like the question is dumb, like the answer is stupid.

“Why’re you asking me?” You shoot back with another question, trying your best to keep your composure at the feeling of his hands sliding up and down your thighs, barely slipping underneath your skirt for one quick moment.

He doesn’t respond.

Well, technically he does, if you could classify your eyes fluttering closed, his lips on yours, and a hand cradling the back of your head as a response.

His lips move languidly with yours. He’s warm, and you find yourself sliding further into his lap to push yourself closer to him.

A warm, large hand squeezes one of your thighs from under your skirt and you squeak, jumping in his hold. You feel his lips form a smile against yours and you fight the urge to pull away and smack him.

It’s actually Fukunaga who pulls away, but he doesn’t stay away for long, instead dipping his head down to leave kisses across your neck. They’re as light as a feather, barely there but you let out a soft moan nonetheless.

“Want you around here more,” He whispers against your skin. “She likes you, Mom likes you, I like you...”

“And your dad? The fish?” You joke, squeezing his shoulders when you feel his teeth nip at your neck.

“Why’re you asking how my dad and fish feel about you while I kiss you?” He laughs against your neck, his voice louder this time.

“‘Dunno,” You shrug with a sigh. Another moan leaves your lips when he sucks harshly at the column of your throat. “‘S important for me to know.”

He laughs again, “You’re so— Wow.”

“You think?” You giggle, a teasing lilt to your tone. You yelp when you feel a pinch on your inner thigh, pushing his hand out from under your skirt in retaliation.

“Shut up,” He says, no venom to his words. There never will be.

His lips move back up to your own, instantly slipping his tongue into your mouth.

“I’m supposed to be the funny one here,” He sighs these words against your lips, instantly attaching himself back to you once he’s finished.

“Didn’t say that had to change.”

“Shhh,” He shushes you, his tongue dancing with your own once again. “Just let me kiss you.”

[sevlgi]

bubblegum pop

requested: no

group: twice

pairing: sana x fem!reader

genre: fluff

contents: rich girl!sana, college!au, cashier!reader.

warnings: none

synopsis: An unfortunately hostile encounter with the school’s sweetest rich girl might just lead to more than you ever expected.

a/n: inspired by @pearicot​‘s mean girl rosie series! (by the way, i’m not trying to feed into the “dumb sana” stereotype with this; i just thought that her personality fitted the character i was trying to achieve! does anyone wanna request continuations or scenarios in this universe 👀

word count: 3.3k

Something about Mondays the week of finals always got you in a bad mood, especially when you had  to work double shifts at the same stupid ice cream shop you’d worked at for the past 2 years of college. 

So maybe, just maybe, there was reasoning behind you snapping at the love of your life during your first meeting.

Actually, there really, really wasn’t.

There were plenty of mean girls on campus who you wouldn’t regret yelling at whatsoever, but you just happened to blow up at one of the considerably nicer rich girls.

Minatozaki Sana didn’t mean anything bad when she innocently held out a hundred dollar bill to pay for a $5 ice cream. She didn’t mean to seem pretentious, nor did she mean to mock you and your minimum-wage job, but you just so happened to take it that way.

“Really? You have to rub it in my face like that?”

Sana stared at you, the money that she held out wavering in the ear. “Sorry?”

Pinching the space between your eyebrows, you huffed out an exasperated breath. Luckily, there was no one else in the shop about to witness the stupidest meltdown of your life. “You think I don’t know that I’m poor? It’s five dollars for God’s sake, no need to bring out the big guns. Oh, or are you doing this to avoid seeming more pretentious with your daddy’s black card?”

The brunette’s hand retreated quickly, the heels of her Louboutins clacking softly against the pastel-toned linoleum of the ice cream shop. Fuck, you hated that linoleum. “I... I didn’t mean any of that, I swear! Um, is there an ATM near here?”

Once again, the girl meant well, and you took it badly. You scoffed, glaring disbelievingly at her. Some part of you was screaming out that you were putting your entire job at stake, and your morals as well, but you disregarded any common sense remaining in your brain. “An ATM for 5 bucks? Dude, just don’t.” Dipping your hand into the tip jar, you scrounged out a lousy crumpled bill and threw it down on the counter, shoving the bubblegum-flavored sweet to Sana. “Okay? Now get out, I don’t want to see your privileged ass anywhere near here.”

The dense gray clouding your mind somehow missed the hurt expression on the girl’s face as the staff door swung open. Wendy’s hands, though gentle on your shoulders, shoved you behind her with surprising force. “I am so sorry, Sana, it’s finals week. Surely you can understand? The ice cream’s on the house.”

“No, of course it’s okay!” Sana sounded genuine enough, that was for sure; you caught her glancing worriedly at you a couple times, nothing malicious whatsoever in her eyes. “I can pay though, are you sure?”

“I’m sure. See you in class,” Wendy called out, smiling all the while until the girl disappeared into the Lamborghini parked by the curb. As soon as that happened, she turned back to you, concern tugging at the corner of her lips. “Y/N...”

“Yeah, I know,” you mumbled as you crossed your arms. Already, you were regretting what you said, though you were far too stubborn to actually apologize on the spot. “No arguing with customers about capitalism. Sorry, Wendy.”

The girl bit her lip, scanning the store to make sure that there wasn’t about to be an influx of customers. Usually she enjoyed working with you; you just had absolutely terrible mood swings sometimes, and those days were nothing short of hellish for her to deal with. “Just head home. Focus on your finals, and come back next week. Okay?”

You hesitated to agree, knowing that you needed the money, but the grim expression on Wendy’s face told you that you had no other option. “Okay. Sorry.”

As you snatched up your stuff and shoved the door to the street open, you missed the sight of Sana watching you through the tinted windows of her 6-figure car.

“Really? Sana?”

“I know,” you groaned, biting down on the plastic spoon in your mouth. The flavor of the month (the only one you could eat completely free) lingered unpleasantly on your tongue, the taste of it oddly salty. “She was so nice about it, too.”

Jeongyeon and Mina exchanged glances, not touching their respective cups of “Ocean Caramel” either. It was extremely kind of them to come and accompany you on the slow days, both of them even offering to suffer through the gross ice cream with you.  “If it was Park Roseanne I might understand, but Sana,” Mina winced. Jeongyeon nodded in agreement; after all, everyone on campus knew about the reputations of Roseanne and Sana.

On one end of the “rich girl” spectrum, Roseanne was quite possibly the bitchiest one of all. She and her Bugatti Veyron, the college upgrade from her old McLaren, absolutely weren’t to be messed with. People who went to high school with you often told story of the G Wagon she smashed, the locker room she lit on fire, and so many other horror tales of a spoiled girl gone wild. You were sure that had you gone off on her, even Wendy wouldn’t have stopped you.

But on the other end, Sana was notoriously kind. Sure, her family raked in an income close to that of the other girl’s, and her wardrobe was just as expensive, but she made a point to donate to charities every time she went shopping. She tipped in the hundreds, and she didn’t ever ask for her designer clothes back when she lent them to strangers. She paid any dinner bill in full when she was there, and sometimes even when she wasn’t invited.

No one was entirely sure about the relationship between the two, but Roseanne seemed to hate Sana more than she did other people. The two fought publicly occasionally, but Sana’s kind heart made it so that even Roseanne couldn’t carry a fight very long. She didn’t respond to insults, it seemed, nor did she ever seem to actually take them personally. 

Stirring her half-melted soup, Mina continued, “Hopefully she doesn’t hold it against you. She doesn’t seem like the type, but...”

Jeongyeon shook her head, opening her mouth just as the doorbell rang. You froze when you looked up to find a designer-dressed bombshell, a sweet smile outlined in Chanel Rouge Allure. She looked completely out of place amidst tired college kids spending their last paycheck on ice cream, white gauzy sleeves and blue dress shimmering under LED lights. If you were being honest, you’d say that she was the most beautiful person you’d seen in your life, but you were always well versed in lying to yourself. “Y/N, you better go.”

“Why?” you whined, pouting at your much more responsible friends. They ignored your puppy face, though; Jihyo was usually the only one you could sway, Momo sometimes if she was feeling merciful. “I’m on break.”

“Only when there’s no customers,” Mina argued, shoving you to stand. Jeongyeon smiled at you, waving you away. “Go, and don’t screw it up this time.”

You forced a smile onto your face when you reached the counter, bowing and adjusting your name tag. “Hi, what can I help you with today?”

“Hi, Y/N!” Sana grinned, bowing back. The fact that she remembered your name only made your guilt worse; if she forgot who you were, you could at least pretend that she didn’t remember the incident at all. “Ah, could I have the same thing as last time? Bubblegum Pop ice cream, on a sugar cone today. 3 scoops?”

Nodding, you moved to open the case, avoiding the girl’s gaze as you did. “Of course.” She was quiet at that, staring at the ceiling so as not to rush you. Without prompting, you blurted, “I’m... I’m really sorry about last week, by the way. I don’t know what I was thinking, blowing up at you like that.”

“Oh, no, it’s okay!” she protested, waving a manicured hand in the air. “I promise I understand you. We all have our bad days.”

You wanted to apologize again, if just to assuage your guilt, but you held off on it, joking, “How do you deal with them? Yell at Gucci assistants?”

Sana looked honestly offended as she accepted the cone proffered to her, eyes widening in shock. “I’ve never done that, I swear! Besides, I don’t like Gucci much.”

A light smile quirking at the corners of your lips, you handed the receipt to her as well. She didn’t ask for it, probably not caring about the measly price or having the space for it in her tiny bag, but took it anyway. “I’m sure you don’t. Your total is $5.23, will that be cash or card?”

“Cash!” She held out a 10 dollar bill, pride shining behind that gorgeous face as you raised your eyebrows in surprise. When your hands brush together, you were reminded of how much better she was than you, how you probably weren’t worthy at all to be touching her with your shop-issued baseball cap and grimy apron. But Sana doesn’t seem to mind, still smiling that airy smile at you and not moving away. She broke your stare by offering, “I don’t want to sound rude, but keep the change.”

“Not rude at all,” you fully laughed that time, dishing out the remainder to stuff in your tip jar. You still felt terrible that she felt the need to apologize about such a normal comment, asking, “Are you sure it’s okay? You can have this one free too, if it makes up for me shouting at you...”

Sana shook her head, sugary light pink already mixing into her lipstick. She walked away, still waving with that gorgeous smile on her face. “It’s okay. I’ll see you soon, Y/N, you look really pretty today!”

Turning back to your friends, you whispered, “Damn. She’s really nice.”

You planned on spending your one day off from school and work cozied up with a good book and your favorite hot drink, but you supposed that getting into a fight with Park Roseanne wasn’t the worst way to go either.

As soon as you entered campus, book in hand and blasting music in your earbuds, you found a crowd of at least 3 dozen people right in front of the library building. It was unlike you to butt into others’ business, especially when it might lead to a ruined day, but Roseanne’s voice carried loud over the hushed whispers of everyone else. “--huh, Sana?”

It wasn’t any of your business, but for some reason, Roseanne’s tone when saying Sana’s name angered you immensely. Frowning, you shouldered your way through the crowd. The closer you got to the center, the more expensive the clothing that brushed against your own rough jean jacket was, cotton and leather becoming silk and velvet. You originally planned to just fit in with the other spectators, but with a shove at the small of your back, you were thrust into the center too.

To your shock, Sana’s eyes were red and shining with tears, the tip of her nose cherry-colored as well. Her head was almost bowed as she stared at her shoes, but she looked up to you when you almost bumped into her. You stuttered out, “H-hey. What’s going on?”

Instead of an explanation from the Japanese girl, though, your gaze was drawn to the blonde across the courtyard. “Didn’t you hear? Little Miss Perfect here got broken up with,” Roseanne scoffed, an infuriating smirk on her perfect face as she tilted her head at you. “By a future CEO, no less. I guess she isn’t a gold-digger, or maybe there’s some other reason that he didn’t want her anymore.”

Your hand shot out to protect Sana, a scowl making its way onto your own face. “Excuse me? From my standpoint, any future CEO is still way outta her league, so forgive me for doubting that he’s the one who didn’t want her. You’re the one dating someone who makes a tenth of what you do.”

Roseanne rolled her eyes, lips thinning. “Don’t talk about my girlfriend like that, Y/L/N, or you’ve got another thing coming. There aren’t many lesbians in this damn school.”

“You know me, don’t you?” Sana’s voice was wavering as she spoke, but it was strong enough to echo in the courtyard. To your surprise (and somewhat satisfaction), the blonde  girl’s eyes widened as Sana stood forward, her lips jutting forward. “That’s why I’m not dating him anymore. I like girls, too.”

Somehow, you’d never expected that Sana was attracted to girls, but it made perfect sense. An irrational part of you wanted to cheer, but instead, you forced yourself to speak.

“R-right.” You continued to glare at Roseanne, who finally seemed to be speechless. “Yeah, so how come you’re tearing Sana down? We should be supporting each other, but you’re being so rude to someone so kind, and that says all I need to know about you.”

Reaching out, you latched onto Sana’s upper arm and pulled her out of the circle, people parting to let the two of you through as Roseanne wasn’t able to conjure up something to respond with. You didn’t stop walking until there was only silence surrounding you under the shade of a swaying tree, finally stopping to let the girl sit. “Are you okay?” you asked, brow furrowed as you knelt to be mostly face-level with her.

Somehow, there was a smile on her face; a slightly snotty smile, but nonetheless the most beautiful one you’d ever seen in your life. You ignored the uncomfortable leap of your heart when you reached out to take her hands into your own, somehow forgetting about the hostility you’d felt towards her from the beginning. “You- you stood up for me.”

“Yeah. I did, I guess,” you shrugged, smiling slightly. “I’m sure that was rough, though, to come out. How’re you feeling?”

“Honestly, much better,” Sana sighed. She leaned back, fingers curling slightly around yours as the afternoon sun shone golden brown in the locks of hair spread out on her shoulders. “It was good to get it off my chest. I didn’t even know you were into girls, you know.”

Reaching up to scratch your head, you chuckled, “Well, I am, if it makes you feel any better. What happened between the two of you, by the way? She seems to hate you so much.”

The girl laughed, as bubbly and airy as her regular voice. “I may or may not have dated her girlfriend before. But it was a long time ago, and I’m still friends with her! Roseanne just can’t forgive me.”

You feigned shock, swatting at her arm. “How terrible of you! I’m so disappointed.”

You were stuck simply smiling at each other for a good minute or so before you looked away, picking at your shoelace for something to do. “So. Uh, Roseanne knew the whole time?”

“She did,” Sana confirmed, nodding. “She just never talked about it.”

“Well, it’s good to know that she isn’t the only other one in the school with me,” you sighed, sitting back on your heels.

Sana lurched back forward, hands clasping together at her chest. “Then we should celebrate! We can go shopping or something, and we can just be happy that we aren’t alone anymore.”

It suddenly struck you how quickly you could change the girl’s entire outlook, a smile coming onto her face with no effort from you whatsoever. But even more surprising, you smiled even larger than she did just looking at her. 

Laughing, you sat back on your heels and shook your head lightly. Seeming to take it as a rejection, Sana’s eyes widened. “Oh, only if you want to, of course! We can go wherever you want, we don’t even have to go shopping if you don’t want to!”

“No, we can go shopping,” you answered, reaching back over to squeeze her hand and pulling her up with you when you stood. “Come on, then. Let’s go celebrate.”

Sana wasn’t a great driver, but you didn’t expect much else. You were practically sick to your stomach by the time that you reached the mall, face green as you swayed out of the car.

“Ah, Y/N, I’m sorry!” Her hands rubbed lightly at your back as you squatted in the parking lot, fist held tight to your mouth. It wasn’t like you were actually going to throw up, but you didn’t want to risk ruining the girl’s expensive shoes. “I’ll let you drive next time.”

Next time? you wanted to ask. But you managed to stand, nodding quickly to ease Sana’s worry. “Yeah. It’s fine, I’m fine. Should we go?”

Immediately, she latched onto your hand, swinging between the two of you as she started to rush forward. “H-hey, lock your car first!”

Sana had unsurprisingly expensive tastes, but also surprisingly understated ones. She was fun to shop with, that was for sure- she loved to offer you clothes and also to offer to pay for them, but you didn’t necessarily hate a pretty girl telling you you’d look gorgeous in a certain sparkly dress.

She didn’t do any of the typical stuck-up things you expected her to- Sana carried her own bags, and she never forced you to follow her instead of doing what you wanted to. She did like to try on outfits and show them to you, but that could be ignored when it was just another opportunity for you to stare at her.

Eventually, you ended up having ice cream at one of the stores in the mall. You balked at the price, but Sana swiped her credit card without hesitation. “I have to admit, this bubblegum doesn’t taste as good as yours,” she pouted.

Chuckling, you savored the rich flavor on your own tongue. “You should’ve picked an expensive flavor then. Vanilla and chocolate are always good in these kinds of stores.”

“You know a lot about ‘these kinds of stores’ for someone who claims to be poor,” she teased, eyes widening as soon as the words slipped out of her mouth. “Oh, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean-”

“Nah, it’s fine,” you smiled, leaning on your palm. “I’m good with it, since we’re friends now.”

Sana grinned at that, her eyes curving charmingly. “We’re friends? Most people don’t want to be friends with me, I’m really glad you’re willing to.”

“Why wouldn’t they?”

Looking down for once, the girl mumbled, “They say I’m dumb. You know that everyone says I’m nice, but they also think I’m dumb because I pay for everything. I just want to be kind, but no one takes me seriously.”

A wave of guilt rushed over you for previously feeding into the stereotype. The more time you spent with Sana, the more you realized that she was as brilliant as any other, and far more kind. “Well, that’s stupid. You are kind, Sana, and you’re amazing. I’m lucky to be your friend.”

She clasped your hand over the table, soft skin warm over yours, pink flushing in her pale cheeks. “Thank you, Y/N. You know, this is the best time I’ve had in a while. My boyfriend didn’t even listen to me this well,” she laughed.

Despite the fact that she treated it as a joke, you felt horrible. She was all too used to thinking the worst about herself and not believing that she was worth any better, and that was the worst possible thing you could imagine for a girl with a heart of gold. Jabbing your spoon into the remaining ice cream, you blurted, “Then go on a date with me. A proper one, not just a normal hangout like this.”

Sana instantly blushed, looking down as if it’d hide her face at all. But she missed the heat that rose to your cheeks too, the nervous biting of your lip as you waited for a response. “I would love nothing more,” she smiled, her eyes shining brilliantly. “And I can’t wait.”

[catboygretzky]

best stucky fic recs pwease

Okay, disclaimer, these are all like five+ years old (which is the best Stucky era, imo) and definitely not the only ones I enjoy; these are just a few in my bookmarks on ao3.

In no particular order besides the order I bookmarked them and under a read more because there's a shit ton of them (really, it's a lot):

- hold me until we crumble; Not Rated, 23k

“Sam told me you were watching Antiques Roadshow,” Natasha says, shaking out her hair. “I assumed it was a national emergency.”

- despite the threatening sky and shuddering earth (they remained); Explicit, 72k

“They really didn’t want the mask to come off.” Hill thumbed through the scans, and pulled out a film that she then handed over to Sam, face mostly expressionless but for the flat line of her pursed lips.

Sam accepted the film and held it up to the light, angling so both he and Steve could see it, squinting at the outline of the Winter Soldier’s skull, and the blips of unnatural white that showed up, God, in his brain, not to mention about half his teeth, plus the mask, with its thin protrusions—

“Those are pins,” Steve realized. He looked over at Hill. “The mask—it’s nailed to his face.”

Hill’s face was as unmoved as ever. “Like I said. They really didn’t want it coming off.”

- family means no one gets left behind or forgotten; Teen, 11k

“Why did you think I wouldn’t like you for being gay?” Steve asks gently.

“You’re Captain America.” Eli’s got his teeth clenched and is resolutely looking ahead. “You stand for truth and justice and the American way. You stand for American morals. You stand for…” he shrugs awkwardly. “Not people like me.”

Steve blows the air out of his cheeks slowly, trying to figure out how to keep the anger out of his voice so Eli doesn’t think it’s at him.

Or, Steve comes to terms with his new world, and gains some children in the process.

- Mistake on the Part of Nature; Teen, 1.3k

Steve takes in Bucky's betrayed look and Sam's confusion, follows Sam's gaze to the pile of mangled fruit in the trash can. Sudden comprehension fills his face.

"Oh," he says. "Bucky found out about bananas."

In which an American icon is mourned. But probably not the one you're thinking of.

- Swear Jar; Teen, 1.5k

Bucky isn't the only troll in the future.

OR

Steve has a Swear Jar and he makes the Avengers pay up every time they cuss.

- Barnes & Rogers and the Goddamn Truth; Not Rated, 19k

There are three well-known facts at Shield High:

1. The history teacher Mr. Barnes is a stone-cold terror, and it’s not even because he only has one arm. 2. The other history teacher, Mr. Rogers, is a mysterious enigma, and it’s something to do with the body of a Greek God and contradicting stories of his past. (They’re all rumours, anyway.) 3. Mr Barnes and Mr Rogers hate each other.

Bucky wouldn’t have it any other way.

- perfectly right wrong number; Teen, 32k

It all starts because Steve is too dumb to handle his smartphone.

A wrong number AU in which Bucky Barnes doesn't enter Steve's life (meaning: Bucky wasn't born until the eighties, but Steve is still Captain America) until Steve accidentally dials the wrong number. Wherein there is a lot of texting, some advice via Natasha and Darcy, a bit of pining, and a first date in an amusement park. Oh, and on top of being a disabled veteran, Bucky is a professional catwalker. Literally.

- The power of the right shirt (a.k.a. God bless America); Teen, 1.2k

"He just…" Phil trails off, mouth gaping. He is staring at the field outside the house, eyes glazed.

Clint sighs. "Yeah, he just ripped a log in two with his bare hands."

- To fill it up with something; Teen, 21k

A fateful encounter with Dr. Strange leaves the Winter Soldier transformed, and Bucky Barnes reunites with Steve Rogers in a most unexpected way.

“Steve brings the puppy inside, into the apartment that doesn't quite feel like home no matter how much he's been trying. He isn't used to being alone. Before the war, he always had Bucky, and his mother until her death. During the war, Bucky was there, too—and the rest of the Howlers, of course—but Bucky always meant home. (And well, maybe Steve's already got a name for the puppy in mind)."

- build it bigger than the sun; Teen, 10k

“Yeah, because nothing says heteronormative like living in Dupont Circle for two years and wearing skin-tight shirts to hit on hot airmen when you go running in the morning.”

“Look, I know you’re being sarcastic but I really don’t get how no one picked up on that.”

Steve and Bucky try to work out their relationship. The Avengers keep getting in the way.

- Memories Circle (Like Birds of Prey), Teen, 32k

Everything seems to be going right, Steve's fighting with his Commandos, they've saving lives-- until Steve falls from a train, is taken prisoner, and turned into the Winter Soldier. Meanwhile, Bucky takes up Steve's mantle as Captain America, and thanks to Zola's experiments, he gets dropped into a whole new time, only to cross paths with a Steve who doesn't know who he is anymore.

Essentially, the events of CA:TFA, mild mentioning of Avengers, and CA:TWS but with Steve as the Winter Soldier and Bucky as Captain America

- The Gentleness That Comes; Mature, 9k

Steve Rogers never really views the things he had to do to get by before the War with any sort of shame or embarrassment. People ask him for his opinions on modern issues in interviews, but Steve has gotten good at talking around those types of questions. Fury insists that there's no way to answer them without casting a shadow of controversy across the reputation of the Avengers, and that's the last thing Steve wants.

But then a sex tape is released featuring Tony Stark in bed with another man, and Steve can't stay quiet any longer.

- salt for the sea; Mature, 7.5k

Natasha comes home with intel regarding the fate of the Winter Soldier; Steve leaves to go and avenge Bucky Barnes.

“It's a list of everyone who was involved in his death, and a rough timeline of everything that happened beforehand,” she tells him.

“And the notebook?”

“I explained what they did,” Natasha says, “The blank pages are for you to explain what you do to them.”

- Lone Cat and Samurai; Teen, 8.4k

"We lost Kitten America sir!" Junior Agent blurted out. Then turned an unlovely shade of purple. "I mean, Captain America. Who’s a kitten. Because magic. Sir."

- Waiting To Prove You're Not Alone; Explicit, 41k

Months after he woke up on the banks of the Potomac, when a reporter mistakenly assumes Steve would disapprove of homosexuality being as accepted as it is in the modern day, Steve accidentally snaps and unleashes his real opinion on the matter... and with that, a secret he's hidden for over eighty years.

When that secret comes looking for him in New York, Steve can only hope that he can get a second chance at saving his best friend, even if it means keeping his heart in check.

“Yeah, back in my day it wasn't tolerated, and because of that I knew from the minute I figured it out, that I’d never get to tell my best friend that I loved him, and sure enough, he died without knowing that I’d been in love with him for a decade."

- I'm Not Sick (But I'm Not Well); Mature, 30k

Steve Rogers doesn’t meet Bucky Barnes in the 1930’s. Instead, Steve meets him April 17th, 2012.

Well…sort of meets him.

In actuality, Bucky had almost hit him with his truck.

Or: The fic where millennial Bucky Barnes nearly runs over a freshly thawed national treasure, and what Steve Rogers did to adjust to modern NYC during those two weeks before the events of The Avengers.

- pure as the driven slush; Explicit, 11k

He should have worked it out sooner. But then, Steve always was a sneaky little bastard—had to have been, just to survive this long.

For the SteveBucky Fest prompt, "Steve is quite experienced while Bucky's never gone beyond second base with anyone".

- Let's Be Exposed and Unprotected, Explicit, 5k

Bucky’s pretty sure he should be into getting fucked through the floor while walls explode around him like in that Mr and Mrs Smith movie that Clint loves. But he likes it like this. He likes being on his back with Steve looming above him, big and naked, blocking out the rest of the world.

- Man of Steel; Explicit, 6.7k

It’s like Steve looked at his metal arm and thought ‘Challenge Accepted.’

- 5 Times Steve Got Arrested and 1 Time They All Did; Teen, 4.9k

What it says, 5 times Steve Rogers ended up in jail (with and without Bucky) + 1 time all of the Avengers got arrested with him.

- the best of you; Teen, 16k

Bucky is on a mission when he gets the call.

They tell him that Steve has been compromised.

[The story wherein Hydra captures Steve to create a new weapon. Bucky, alongside the rest of the Avengers, come together and work through the fallout.]

- pull apart the dark; Teen, 79k

Steve's unending faith in his best friend was beginning to look less like hope and more like fantasy. When they'd caught the Soldier – in a fire fight that still gave Sam nightmares – the only thing the man seemed to recall was how to hit exactly where it hurt.

Four months later, Barnes still refused to speak English. Refused to heed anything but Steve's voice.

So, all in all, it was not a great time for Hydra to attack New York. All in all, Sam really wished they'd just killed him, instead of turning Captain America into a baby.

- Not Another Supersoldier Fantasy; Explicit, 8.9k

Bucky finds a popular sex toy modeled on Captain America's own anatomy. Well, isn't this just perfect? Because even after all this time, he still hasn’t seen Steve’s supersoldier cock. But apparently in this day and age anyone with $29.95 can get a decent replica. The unfairness of this is of galactic proportions.

- the blood of the covenant; Teen, 7.5k

Steve has a "thing" for hot water.

Or, Sam Wilson adopts Steve Rogers.

- Mighty like Love, Mighty like Sorrow; Teen, 19k

After freeing himself from the Russians' mind control, Bucky is left at loose ends, drifting through the decades. Still, he's in no hurry to take up Nick Fury's offer to once again fight the good fight -- especially not when Fury has the nerve to put some imposter in his best friend's old suit and send him out to fight against Chitauri.

- Read Me Like a Book; Gen, 1.5k

In which Bucky accidentally becomes a book collector, because when the universe gives you a million biographies about your boyfriend, you go bookcase shopping. And then he finds out about The Grenade Incident, and the boys actually talk about it like actual adults. (Somewhere, Sam sheds a proud tear.)

- the broadest stroke of color; Gen, 16k

Sarah Rogers always loved Steve's hands.

"Your hands will do a lifetime's work," she'd say. "Remember to do the work you can for those you love."

Almost a century later, Steve does just that.

[The story wherein Steve draws comics for Bucky to help him recover his memory. Through a series of events, the issues are leaked, and Steve finds himself reviving the Captain America comics. He still isn't sure how that happened.]

- If You're Loved By Someone (You're Never Rejected); Teen, 9.4k

You’re fifteen when you realize why you stare at Bucky’s lips more than normal when he laughs and when he says your name. You lean into his shoulder when you walk next to him and when you’re sick you don’t fight off his soft hands. You tease him, he teases back and being around him is so easy you forget what it was like to live without him. You can’t remember life pre-Bucky and it scares you.

- Unusual Weather; Explicit, 8.7k

Bucky’s been at the Avengers Tower for three weeks before he finally gives in to Steve’s gentle coaxing and Stark’s cheerful waving of fistfuls of circuits, and lets them scan the arm.

It doesn’t go well.

- this city bleeds its aching heart; Explicit, 35k

The one where Steve and Bucky pose as a happily married couple while on a mission for SHIELD, to catch an international arms dealer hiding in a suburban neighbourhood.

- Good Boy; Explicit, 13k

Bucky is still adjusting to life with the Avengers, and Steve is willing to do whatever it takes to make him feel comfortable. Increasingly, though, what seems to make him comfortable is strangely intimate.

Surprise, Steve! You're a gentle dom and Bucky wants to be your pretty pet!

- Brooklyn; Teen, 8.8k

"Captain America, what's your stance on gay marriage?"

Everyone knows that, by now. Everyone but Bucky.

[thefallenbibliophilequote]

The Last Word- part 1

Bucky x reader

Summary: you and Bucky never get along, it’s not that you hate him- it’s just that he always finds ways to get on your nerves. You’ve had enough of it. But, funny thing about feelings, they often tend to intertwine with others in ways that you can’t really expect.

Word count: 4,318

Warnings: language, Bucky being an adorable idiot

A/N: this started as an entry to a challenge, but it got out of hand so I posted an excerpt from the full fic for the challenge. And wrote this mini-series just for me, because a 10k entry to a challenge would be too much and I really felt like this fic should have separate chapters. So I managed to make it so it feels right for me.

A/N 2: I really hope you like it, if you wish to be tagged in this series let me know!

read preview here

Part 1

You wouldn’t say you were stubborn, you weren’t- you just refused to back down when someone posed a challenge, or tried to be a jackass. That jackass position is currently taken by none other than the Winter Soldier, he seems to like that job, fits him perfectly. You two could never get along, it was his fault.

It’s not that you hate him- it’s just that he always gets on your nerves. He always tries to one up you and he always does whatever it takes to annoy you just because he’s bored. Over 100 years old and he still acts like a total child.

It wasn’t like that the first time you met him though.

The first time you met Bucky, you were a new recruit. It all started when you were testing your powers and you accidentally teleported yourself into a SHIELD facility that happened to be on the TV at the time. In your defense- you got better at that! After they made sure you weren’t a hydra agent, they wanted to recruit you.

Apparently you caught Captain America’s attention, because soon enough he wanted you to join them and practice with Wanda.

You first met Wanda, a total sweetheart even with the immense power she has. Steve and you agreed to test your powers first, in order to see what you will need to work on.

You, Steve and Wanda were in the training room, it was bigger than your apartment. You began with the basic- maneuvering while fighting.

“Can we take a break please?” you panted, your breath heavy after your latest test with the lovely supersoldier.

“Not yet, I still need to check your response to Wanda’s abilities. I want to know the limitations of your abilities.” He said to you, barely even breaking a sweat. “Why didn’t they train you in S.H.I.E.L.D?”

“They said that I should first become a fighter and then they’ll let me use my powers.” You replied bitterly, you shouldn’t fight without an ability you have, it’s not unfair to use it.

“Sounds about right,” Wanda added “that’s why we have to run all these tests. After this we can go get lunch.”

Wanda sent a surge of power towards you, you dodged it and aimed to teleport yourself to the other side of the gym.

A second later instead of landing on the gym floor, you stumbled onto something firm, but it didn’t feel right. You opened your eyes to see blue eyes studying you.

Bucky was in the kitchen with a cup of coffee, Natasha and Sam sat on the isle stools. He was walking to sit with them when suddenly a body fell onto him seemingly out of nowhere, knocking him to the ground. He immediately studied the girl on top of him, seemingly harmless but still a stranger in the avengers tower. When she opened her Y/E/C eyes, it only lasted a second before he switched your positions and he knocked you to the ground.

You blocked his attack and pushed him to the side, as he was about to capture you again, you teleported into a standing position, a couple feet away from him. Taking out the knife from your thigh and threw it at him, pinning him to the cupboard behind him as he got up. That’s when you took the scene around you.

Three avengers in front of you and you just threw a dagger at the Winter Soldier. Shit. Before they could advance towards you, Wanda and Steve came rushing into the room.

“Y/N, where did you go? How did you get here?” Wanda stood beside you.

“I don’t know, I’m sorry I just-”

“Steve do you know her?” Bucky pulled the dagger out, looking at his friend, before returning the gaze to you, an apologetic shy smile on your face.

“Meet Y/N she is our newest member,” he looked at you then, you felt like a kid getting scolded. “She was supposed to stay with us in the gym.”

“I really don’t know what happened,” you said to Steve and Wanda, before looking guiltily at the avenger in front of you. “Sorry for throwing a dagger at you.”

“Sorry for attacking you,” a small smirk grew on his face “but you had it coming when you knocked me to the ground.”

“Well it’s not my fault that you stood in my spot.” You countered.

“Nice shot by the way.” His blue eyes were way too piercing for your liking, he handed you back the dagger. You threw it to pin his shirt to the cupboard, no actual harm to his hand.

You nodded before Wanda caught your attention.

“What are you doing?” she reached her hands to your head. You stepped backwards a little.

“I want to look into your mind, you’ve never seen this part of the tower before- have you?”

“No, I haven’t.” you realized as you looked around.

“Mind filling us in?” Sam looked at you, this must have looked bad. Not the best first impression you had wanted to have on the Avengers.

“I teleport, I can’t quite control it yet, I thought I understood it but I guess not.” You fiddled with your hair, putting it behind your ears.

“Which is exactly why we need to get back to training, clearly we need to figure out how you managed to get here” Steve started to lead you back as you sighed.

“Come on Steve, she stood her ground against me, give her a little break.” Bucky spoke up. “She clearly knows her way with daggers too. Do you want to have lunch with us Doll?”

“Oh yes please, I’m starving.” You agreed and smiled at Bucky.

“That could be it.” Wanda chimed in.

“That could be what?” Steve replied, giving in and walking with you to the table.

“If you thought about food, your mind wanted to come here, maybe that’s how your powers work.” She explained, but you shook your head, sitting down as Bucky sat next to you. You decided to ignore that.

“But look at that first time I teleported into a S.H.I.E.L.D facility, I didn’t want to go there, I just wound up there because I saw it. I’ve never teleported into a place I didn’t see before.”

“You could try it out, I bet you never considered you could do it before.” Bucky took a sip from Sam’s forgotten coffee and got a stern look in return. “What? She spilled my coffee!”

You grimaced, remembering the mess on the floor, before you could apologize, Wanda put her hand on your arm and you saw her eyes go red for a second and when you looked around, the floor was spotless.

“Thank you.” You whispered to her.

As the rest of the group settled into an easy conversation, Wanda made you lunch which you savored, who knew the Scarlet Witch could cook?

Afterwards, you Steve and Wanda decided to go back to the gym, before you left Bucky called you.

“You still owe me a coffee, doll.” He smiled, eyes gleaming with what seemed like mischief.

For some reason, the nickname made your brain stop working completely, so all you could do was nod to him with a small smile before you turned and hurried a bit in your step towards the gym. Hopefully the heat in your cheeks will go unnoticed.

“Jesus Barnes, keep it in your pants.” The black widow commented after you left the room, shaking her head as Sam snickered.

“What can I say? I like a girl who can throw a dagger.” He smiled.

“I know how to throw a dagger too.”

“Okay, I don’t like any girl who can throw a dagger, maybe it’s her.” He shrugged; he sure would love to figure that out.

Now however, things were very different.

Bucky got on your nerves like no other. You were going at it again after one tough mission. All the avengers were in the meeting room for a post-mission briefing, and it didn’t go well.

“How is it my fault that you decided to follow me, when I specifically told you not to?” you yelled back at Bucky, fuelled with the accusation.

“You were so fucking stupid out there in the field, why did they even let you be there? You almost died, and almost got me hurt!” Bucky yelled from across the table at you. The two of you pushed your chairs back as the rest of the team sat there groaning.

“That’s your fault for following me! I don’t need a babysitter! Besides, almost doesn’t count, I didn’t die and more than that, I got the formula that we needed!” you gestured to the vile sitting on the table to prove your point.

“You were stupid and reckless, you got stabbed and you could’ve ruined the whole mission! I would’ve been the one that had to carry you if you got shot instead of focusing on the mission!” he argued, your stomach was bandaged up but it was fine.

“I’m sorry, but this is MY stab wound and it’s barely a stab, more like a glaze of a knife really, that hydra agent was really unqualified.” You let yourself go off topic, but really- what were they doing recruiting dumb people like that? “And besides that, I didn’t ruin the mission, I wasn’t reckless- it was a risky move but I calculated it and to prove it to you, I won us the mission!”

“I could’ve done it much more smoothly, if you just listened to the instructions for once-”

“You think you could’ve done it smoothly? Yeah, sure because sneaking in with a glowing arm is better than teleporting in there!”

“Okay you two kids need a timeout; this is giving me a headache.” Tony complained, “Y/N it was risky but you got us what we needed, next time consol us. Barnes, let it go, she got stabbed.”

“It was barely a stab.”

“Getting stabbed isn’t an excuse to get out of trouble.”

You and Bucky said at the same time, then you looked at each other, you just scoffed. “I got shot at last week- it didn’t stop Steve from lecturing me”

“Oh boo freaking hoo you got shot at, deal with it.” You mocked, tony gave you a stern look and you sat down, only to get up a second after as Bucky was too cocky for your liking.

“It’s Steve- all he does is give lectures and throw a Frisbee.” Tony dismissed it and ignored Steve’s glare.

“Boo hoo? What are you a child?” the bastard smirked, knowing very well how he got on your nerves. “Besides- I did deal with it, I’m a supersoldier, and I can handle a little bullet- unlike you, that is.”

“You just have to have the last word at everything, don’t you?” you scoffed at him, hated that he got to you so easily but you were not going to back down to that little shit.

“Yes.” He replied, but before you could retort back at him, tony interrupted again.

“Can you two just hate fuck all of this shit out, so we can get on with this briefing so we can get this over with, now shall we?”

“Absolutely not!”

“You wish!”

The two of you answered, you glared at the soldier in front of you before directing it to give a mean stare to Tony.

“I will beat you, you know.” You whispered to him as you sat down in your chair.

“Oh doll, you’re no match to me.” He sat down, “I’ll always get the last word, just wait and see.”

There was a mischievous glint in his eyes that felt familiar to you that you really didn’t like. The game is on.

You and Wanda sat in your room, just after a huge shopping spree at the mall(with sunglasses and baseball hats of course), your arms were sore, red lines covering them from the amount of shopping bags you carried back to the tower. Now the two of you were trying on your new outfits, your favourite music blaring.

The music stopped and you turned around to see Natasha next to the speaker, smirking as she closed the door behind her.

“Now, how much did the two of you spend on all these?”

“Probably too much, but it’s worth it.” You smiled at her, spinning around in your new mini dress it twirled as you did; it was beautiful but casual enough that you can wear it daily. The beautiful light purple of it caressed your skin perfectly.

“It fits you perfectly, I’m sure Barnes will go mad when he sees you in it.”

“Come on Nat, we talked about it. I don’t like him in the slightest, he doesn’t like me. I know you’re a superspy but you’re wrong about this.”

“Oh come on Y/N,” Wanda joined in on the conversation. “You have to admit that there is a sort of spark between the two of you. You can’t deny that forever.”

“Oh are we really doing this right now?” you groaned “fine but just so I don’t lose my sanity, at least what’s left of it, I need some tea.”

The next second you were in the kitchen, in front of the mug cabinet, looking for your favourite mug when you spotted it on the top shelf. Fucking shit, you rose to your tiptoes to try and reach it.

“Looking for something?” the voice of Sam startled you. You turned around to see Steve, Sam and-

“You put it up there didn’t you?” you accused the soldier who was now staring at you. You raised your eyebrows as Steve nudged his friend.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about doll.” He gave you a sinister smile, before his eyes lit up. “But I’m sure you can reach it on your own, unless you want some help, or a stool perhaps?”

You could feel your cheeks flaming as he walked towards you to offer help, what a gentleman.

“My size is perfectly normal, it is you who is ridiculously tall because of some stupid serum” you stuck an accusing finger at his chest. He just smiled sarcastically at you. His eyes fixed on you as he took your mug off of the shelf. You reached for it but huffed when he turned around to make himself coffee. In your mug. He knew damn well that you don’t drink coffee. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“Making myself a drink”

“That’s my mug, give it back!” at that, the machine started pouring coffee into your tea mug. You audibly gasped, and looked at him as he raised it to his lips. He took a sip and sat in his chair. Now, the next thing you did was a little petty, but sometimes it’s necessary.

The minute he put the cup on the isle, you walked to him with a smile and grabbed it.

“What are you-” before he could finish the sentence you teleported away with a mug full of coffee, and a satisfied smile on your face as you sat on the chair in your room.

The two girls in the room looked at you in question as you took a sip and scrunched your face at the bitter taste.

“What have you got there?”

“Coffee”

“Don’t you hate coffee?”

“It’s awful.”

“Then why are you drinking it?” Wanda tilted her head.

“So Bucky won’t get to drink it.” You answered and took another sip.

“Have you thought about maybe pouring it down the drain?”

“Nope, I’m going to drink it.” You took another bitter sip, “spite runs the world.”

“We really have the work cut out for us, don’t we?” Natasha looked at Wanda who sat on the bed beside her, she nodded and you shook your head at your friends.

“Just say what you want to say, but my answer won’t change.”

“Do you really think this is all hatred without an ounce of attraction?” Wanda tried, you appreciated her being gentle but they were wrong. Maybe at the start- when you two first met, you did feel some type of way toward the man, but things were quick to change.

“It really is nothing but that. Look, there is nothing in our behaviour that suggests otherwise. I really don’t understand why you guys think that we are secretly in love, you should be trained at reading people well. Oh how the mighty fall…” you put an overdramatic hand on your forehead, drenched in sorrow.

You quickly opened your eyes to dodge a pillow throwing your way by the widow, okay maybe you had it coming with that one.

‘It’s a lost cause with her, Nat. she will come to us when she is ready.’ Wanda sent a thought to Natasha.

'She really is blind, yet she has the nerve to accuse us on not reading people right.’ The redhead shot an eye roll at Wanda who was quick to change the subject then, claiming you have a lot of clothes you have yet to try on.

“All I’m saying man, is that you don’t have to yell 'on your left’ every time you pass me by.”

“I am only warning you about me coming your way.” Steve had a shit eating grin on his face.

The other supersoldier sat there laughing alongside his friend. It all stopped when suddenly you showed up, in a pretty little dress, riding up slightly as you tried to reach your mug. All thought escaped from his head.

“You put it up there, didn’t you?” Steve then nudged his arm and his eyes rose back to yours, taking a moment to get his composure back.

“I don’t know what you are talking about doll. But I’m sure you can reach it on your own, unless you want some help, or a stool perhaps?” he walked towards you, smiling as he saw your cheeks blush.

He could barely hear what you said as he stood in front of you, barely an inch separating your chests as you stuck your finger in the middle of his. He just smirked as he took your mug and made coffee for himself. He took a sip and went to sit back in his chair, almost laughing when he heard your gasp.

His victory was short lived though because the next thing he knew, you flashed a beautiful smile at him and then disappeared with his coffee. He continued looking at where you were, a small smile playing on his lips.

“So, I’m glad to see you’re having fun with your little girlfriend.”

“She is not my girlfriend, come on stop with that nonsense.” Bucky groaned.

“You went all heart eyes when she teleported here, you must really like purple huh?” Sam teased.

“I don’t know Sam. It could be the purple, the dress… the girl.” Steve joined in. he always loved teasing Bucky, but he was also hoping his stupid friend would just admit to liking the girl.

“I don’t like her; she is so annoying, so stop wasting your time on this!”

“That’s not what you said about her the first time you met her though.”

“What did he say about her?” Steve questioned, this new piece of information catching his attention.

“He was all heart eyes, calling her his doll, saying he liked her with her dagger…”

“Sam that was a long time ago, things change.”

“I don’t know Buck, a lot of things change in our lives, but do you really think that changed?” Steve offered, the 21st century was different and new to both of them, but he knew Bucky through it all and he knows him too well to let him throw this chemistry away.

Bucky in turn, huffed and left the kitchen.

It was definitely a party for something- you were sure of it. It’s just that Tony usually made up things to party for. But with your day to day job it was a nice break.

You were in your room getting ready for the party when there was a knock on your door. Steve came inside and sat on your bed.

“You look lovely Y/N!” he is so polite, you loved it. Looking down on your fine dress, it was a navy blue dress with a high-low skirt, it cascaded on your legs, you felt confident in it, but it is always nice to hear it from someone else.

“Thank you Steve, I see that Tony finally made you wear a tux?”

“His nagging became too much” he groaned in a laugh.

“What happened to mister stand like a tree and say no, you move?” you imitated him as you put on your silver earrings.

“Huh, I guess tony has a talent.” The two of you laughed.

“So what did you want? You must have come here for something.”

“I just wanted to talk to you. You know, back in the day Bucky would drag me to festivals and parties to dance and be with the dames. He is a real charmer.”

“Was” You huffed, but he just continued talking.

“One time he convinced these two girls to come with us to this science exhibit. They didn’t really pay attention to me, but they were hooked on his every word, especially this dark haired girl- I think her name was Clara? Well she married some doctor in the war, but nonetheless she gushed about Bucky one day when we saw her, it was after the serum thing.” He seemed to get lost in thought.

“Steve? That’s a very nice story and all but if Natasha sent you to try to make me like him then I’m sorry to tell you but-” you put on your heels and tied them.

“Natasha didn’t send me, I came here alone-”

“Title of your sex tape”

“You know no one finds that funny” you knew that. You shrugged, they all just groan when you say that but you couldn’t care less. He just shook his head, “Anyways, I’m here because I care about Bucky. He is my best friend and I want him to be happy and I know that you two can be happy together.”

“You don’t know that Steve, you just want it to be true. Why don’t you set him up with some girl? All those agents are basically drooling when they see him around the tower.” You sighed, “Maybe in some alternate universe where I like him or he likes me, maybe then we could be civil with each other. But I don’t like him, and he doesn’t like me. Call it a mutual agreement. You’re a good guy Steve, but don’t push this because it just won’t happen.”

With a comforting hand on his shoulder, you got up and got Steve out of your room so you could finish getting ready. You shook the thoughts about the conversation out of your mind, absolute nonsense, you shouldn’t let it linger and cloud your thoughts.

The party was loud, and you found yourself talking to a cute agent when he suddenly turned red, eyes wide, and muttered a quick apology before scattering away, leaving you confused.

“Well well well, are you planning on getting a victim tonight?” that low voice made you mentally curse as you turned around.

“From what I hear you were quite a charmer back in the day, don’t know where all that went though, so if anything you are collecting victims with every person you talk to. Poor people really.” You nodded your head in faux sadness.

“I am a charmer, if I wanted to, I’d charm you but you are just not worth it doll.” He sipped from his drink, it didn’t affect him but the habit was still there.

“Yeah right, all talk and no game, I haven’t seen a single doll coming your way. You’re thinking too highly of yourself I’m afraid.”

“Nah I’m doing just fine. I don’t see you getting any though.” He smirked at that and downed his drink, setting it behind you on the bar and taking a new one from a passing waiter, not moving from his place in front of you.

“I would be, but you scared him off! You with your murder stare” you yelled at him.

“I did no such thing! It’s your fault for choosing poor no backbone guys.”

“You’re a dick, Barnes.” You shook your head at him. Was your face hot from the drink or from your anger?

“Whatever you say doll” his cheeky grin never wavered from his face.

“Oh fuck off!”

“Language” You both looked at Steve who was sitting in a chair, on the bar, a little bit away from the two of you.  The two of you burst out laughing at that, as he tried to explain.

“It was one time guys, come on. It just blurted out!” his face was bright red.

“Title of your sex tape!” you said and looked at Bucky as the two of you laughed even harder at your friend. From the laughter Bucky put his hand on the small of your back. You pretended not to notice.

The party started to calm down when this one girl who Bucky talked to during the night wrapped her hand over his right bicep.

“So, what do you say, we can take it back to my place? You can tell me all about your special missions.”

He laughed and looked behind her as you sat with Tony and Pepper.

“Nah, I think I’ll stay here instead.” He nodded to her as she huffed and went in her purple gown towards the elevator.

“What happened to that girl who was flirting with you, Barnes?” tony asked as he sat down with them. He looked over Tony’s shoulder as you talked to Pepper.

“I guess she just wasn’t my type” he sighed.

tags: @callmeluna @sstanbarnes @buckys-other-punk @drabblewithfrannybarnes​ 

[sailordiavolo]

suicide prevention month 2021 - things that helped me stay alive

i heard that this month is suicide prevention month in the united states. as someone who’s struggled for many years with suicide myself, and is currently in the mystical “better place”, i feel it’s my duty to open this can of worms. i am unafraid of the stigma that comes with discussing such things.

i’ll go over things that helped me to cope during dark times. these may also apply to being depressed in general (?) because no offense but “drinking water” doesn’t help as much as google seems to think it does. note that these aren’t be all end all solutions, more like techniques that helped me to stay sane on some of my worst days.

1. get rid of everything that’s an immediate danger to your health.

if you’re actively a danger to yourself, safety-proof your home. don’t keep sharp objects lying around, or anything dangerous of the like. get rid of anything toxic or chemical, and don’t keep medicines in excess.

2. if you can’t make yourself happy, try to mildly amuse yourself instead

thinking “happy thoughts” doesn’t really work for me, especially if i’m in the throes of a depressive episode. i do have many things that make me happy, but i seem to forget about all of them in dark times. that being said, really dumb jokes get me every time. if i can make myself laugh, smile or chuckle, i’ve already made it 10 times easier for myself. and if i can do that, usually it’s easy to make myself forget about the original reason i was upset in the first place.

dear reader, i don’t know what would count as “mildly amusing” to you, but here’s some things that work for me.

i have a self care playlist on youtube. mine’s pretty dumb, but making a playlist like that of things that you find entertaining or amusing might help. another amazing one is distantcry’s worst beat ever collection.

very specific songs that really get me going include metrostation’s shake it, botdf’s bewitched, rm’s expensive girl, and she past away’s ruh.

3. do some self care activities

self care is very very important. when you feel like you’re absolute worst, that’s a free pass to be as selfish as you need to be until you feel better. no job, no person, no drama is worth dying over. all of that can wait until after you’re finished what you’re doing. if you’re not really sure what to do as self care activities, i’ll list some suggestions.

take a hot bath, if possible. if you have the resources, add bubbles, flower petals, bathe salts or candles. i did this the other day and sat in the bath and ate crumpets. it was amazing. if not, have a steaming hot shower. (i know it’s hard to find the energy, but it’ll help, i promise)

watch your favourite childhood show, or your favourite show at the moment, or play a video game.

sleep all day, or take the day off.

eat your favourite food, or the best food available to you right now.

spend some money if you have it. personally, i never spend all my money in a week, i save some in case i have a panic attack or something so then i can spend money on something totally random to make myself feel better.

change up your appearance. i usually end up cutting my hair short or randomly dying it, but this can also mean dressing in a way that makes you feel good, painting your nails, or doing your makeup.

4. know how to comfort yourself

this is related to the last one but knowing what brings you comfort is very important. it took me a very long time to figure out what things i find comforting. list the things that you find comforting, and you can use those to help yourself feel better. it might be music, interests, even something abstract.

if you can’t think of anything, then make sure to pay attention to things that make you feel nice/comforted, and list them down. it’s also important to know what will send you over the edge, so you can avoid it.

5. distraction topics

this may help with anxiety as well, but having distraction topics can help you to calm down and forget about what you were worried about. it’s good to have a few distraction topics up your sleeve in case of emergency. i’ll list a few of my favourites, but if you ever need one don’t be afraid to ask me directly, or send me an ask on my blog! i have a ridiculous amount of misc knowledge just floating around.

dinosaur fossils of mothers protecting their nest have been found, meaning that dinosaurs probably felt some form of motherly love. love on earth is billions and billions of years old. creatures have loved each other on this planet since before the dawn of history. imagine being the first organism to love on this planet and what that must’ve been like

some cave paintings were animated. they had different frames painted over each other, and the flickering of a flame in the cave would cause the images to appear as if they were moving. isn’t that extremely profound?

i saw somewhere, that scientists attempted to see what an electron was made out of, or something to that effect. it’s made of a pool of energy, which is essentially nothing. no form, no matter. everything is made out of nothing.

6. romanticise your future

a lot of us probably don’t have a concept of the future, or if we do, it’s something that sounds absolutely horrible. well, forget about that! think instead about how hot n sexy you’ll be in your 30’s, 40’s, etc. don’t worry about how you’ll get there for now, your future self can take care of that. think about your ideal life, and get excited like it’s absolutely going to happen. the more you think about it, the more it will become true.

7. romanticise your current self

nobody in your life understands you? that’s because you’re the hot brooding mysterious one. struggle with very dark thoughts? omg you’d be so powerful as a jujutsu sorcerer. people are staring? it’s because they’re in love with you. people whispering as you go by? also in love with you. no friends? the universe had to keep you humble because otherwise you’d be too perfect. hate the way you look today? you’re just a littel troll babie. the more amusing these thoughts are, the better. and if you think these things for long enough, eventually it will trick your brain into thinking it’s true. who’s gonna check you? the telepaths?

8. put things into perspective

i am prone to delusional thoughts when i’m panicked, and i have to remind myself to reel it in. think about it, you’re more afraid of answering the phone than you are of death? doesn’t sound very cash money of you, bro.

think about how many years you’ve really lived, especially if you think you’ve failed in life. take 12 years off your age, because childhood doesn’t count. also take off any other years which you were forced to live the way someone else wanted you to live, rather than for myself.

for example, i’m currently 23. my household was pretty strict, so i couldn’t really do anything before age 18. which gives me a grand total of 5 years of me trying to figure out life by myself. it helps me to remember how young i actually am in the grand scheme of things, and that i have plenty of time to still figure things out.

9. find a safe outlet for dark urges

for me, art and journaling really helped. music too, especially when i felt like i could relate to either the lyrics, or just the tone/mood/feel of the song. it might be exercise, or you may like to do creative writing or make oc’s. sometimes you may just need a friend or someone to listen.

if you don’t have anyone to talk to, you can message me or shoot me an anon

10. sleep it off

sleep is not going to cure anything, but if i’m pushed over the edge and am struggling with dark thoughts, going to sleep almost always helps. most of the time i still feel like shit in the morning, but no longer in the mood to try anything hasty.

lastly: suicide is not the easy way out

note: i’m gonna be discussing my own experiences with suicide in this part, so if you don’t want to see that, then don’t read past this point

suicide is not the easy way out. it’s messy and it’s ugly and it’s painful and it’s gonna bring out the worst in people. i’ve been struggling with it since age 19.

one particular attempt landed me in the hospital after i swallowed a bunch of painkillers. i couldn’t think or speak properly, i was slurring my words and tripping over myself. my doctor brushed me off and said that it “would probably get better” with time, but it never did. it improved, but my mind has never been the same as it once was, and one of my biggest insecurities to this day is when i struggle to learn new things or get things mixed up that i shouldn’t. i struggle to learn the simplest of things, and my reaction times tend to be very slow.

the point is, sometimes you don’t die, sometimes you just end up hurting yourself in a way that won’t get better. nobody needs that. if had’ve known how to calm myself down back then, i might not’ve tried.

i don’t mind talking about it now, since i’ve dedicated so much time in learning how to uplift myself. i may be in the “better place” now, but you don’t need to rush yourself to be better immediately. sometimes you need to be patient, use baby steps, or learn to accomodate yourself where you are. these things take time. that’s okay.

and remember, you are loved and very much needed to be here on the planet with us.

[mihidecet]

SBI d&d AU: Tommy (1)

Here it is! Tommy’s pov really put the hamster inside my brain in a splendid mood, so his story is currently split into two (might be three, depending on how much more I’m willing to indulge my craving for found family dynamics). I’m probably going to post the second part in a couple of weeks (I’m trying to stick to a schedule, but uni has started again today so who knows).

Thank you all for your likes, reblogs and comments on the last post, I really appreciate them!

Also, as some of you might already know, I’ve been working on character sheets for all of them too. I’m working on the written backgrounds at the moment, but if all goes right I should post the first one next week! Who would you want to see first: Techno, Phil, Tommy or Wilbur?

[Also I should mention, there are a handful of swears, mentions of blood and a not-so-quick description of a dagger, but not as it’s being used for anything bad. Let me know if you’d like me to highlight anything specific to make it easier to skip.]

You should kneel down soon, kiddo. The voice in his head tells him. Usually one would not have voices suggesting what to do or do not, but that was the life of Tommy since he'd agreed to eat a bloody apple and suddenly gained horns and a tail. That was just something that happened to him nowadays. But again, one was not necessarily made to follow said suggestions: he usually either ignored whatever had been said or sassed back - that was just the kind of relationship he had with his patron.

I'm not a child, old man. He answered, in his mind in order to avoid Wilbur's curious glances, and only heard a distorted chuckle in response.

I'm just trying to help you out! You should, totally, profit is guaranteed! Tommy rolled his eyes, huffing out in annoyance at both his insistence and the warped voice he was currently talking in. Go figure that, of all the demons he could have made a pact with, Tommy had chosen the most annoyingly nagging one. Who even used their godlike power to change their voices to unnatural pitches?

Come on, Tommy! Trust me on this! Come oon! The dragged out "on" was extremely aggravating, but just because his patron was bored he wasn't going to amuse him. He had more important things to do, like planning out what to do once they'd reached the apparently haunted mansion in the middle of a forest they were heading towards. If one was to ask Tommy, he'd say that it was just the job of a bunch of thieves, maybe an enchanter, using the abandoned mansion as a base of operations and scaring away wandering people. Everyone had seemed to agree with his idea - hell, even Wilbur had said it had been a good hunch!

Five ... Four ... Didn't he have some other poor soul to torture? Some unlucky fellow to trick into a deal? And was the echoey voice necessary? Did he really need to sound as if he was shouting from inside a cave?

Come on kiddo- Three ... Two ... Almost there! One ...

"ALRIGHT!" Tommy yelled out, stomping his foot down in anger, flames bursting out his hands as his eyes flashed golden and - despite what his stubbornness told him - he bent down.

He hadn't even fully bent his knees when an arrow lodged itself into his hood, which was slightly raised in respect to his head due to the quickness with which he had moved.

"Ohshit-"

"Who the fuck is attacking us?" Techno asked over him, tone impassible and as monotone as always, holding another arrow just in front of his face; he seemed more bothered by the thought that someone was trying to attack them than the fact that somebody had shot an arrow at him.

You're welcome, kid. His patron quipped, finally in his normal voice, before retreating to the back of his mind as Tommy summoned energy between his hands, ready to blast into nothingness whoever had been dumb enough to try to kill him.

Tommy wakes up one morning, and the first thing he sees is the sky. This is because, since he agreed to sell his soul for instant magical powers, he has a distinctively cumbersome pair of horns, which prevent him from sleeping on his side comfortably. A small price to pay, since honestly, who even has the time to spend years studying when you can just shake hands, eat an apple and be set for life?

Since they've stopped being a couple of stubby nubs on the side of his head, he also has to wear a pair of muffs over them, in order to avoid destroying his pillow in case he moves more than an inch while he sleeps. He's gathered enough evidence of how much damage he's able to cause to last a lifetime, so he endures Techno's chuckles at his hand-knitted, sock-looking muffs - damn Wilbur for using wool, it's not like his horns ever get cold.

Anyhow. The first thing he sees, is the sky. The second thing he sees is a knife sticking out of the ground next to his head.

Tommy stares at it, figuring he's either still dreaming or his patron has gotten better at his dream-messages - on top of annoying him during the day and giving him advices once every blue moon, he also enjoys sending him extremely cryptic messages through dreams, which Tommy usually forgets by the time he's awake.

He figures it has to be a dream, because sticking out of the ground next to his head is a perfectly clean and sharpened Technoblade Dagger. Thin, sleek, made in a peculiar metal that looks completely black at all time, as if it was capable of absorbing light. Rumors say it was forged with the core of a fallen star; others say it's made of the blood of his fallen enemies which Tommy finds extremely disgusting and definitely unpractical. The handle is simple, with no added leather - Technoblade always says that leather stains easily and is more a bother than anything actually useful.

But the thing is, that's not all.

Tied to the knife is also a string of white, orange and red strings. A small onyx bead is woven inside.

Aww, look! You got yourself- the voice in his head starts, but Tommy is quick to put a stop to it.

Shut up, this is important. He states, tone firm and serious, just like he was when he demanded his pact a few years before. His patron and him joke around and annoy each other a lot, but he knows that tone, so for the next few moments everything is quiet. Around him, the only sound is of the wind, flowing through the leaves, and the crackling fire, courtesy of Phil, who is probably preparing breakfast for all if the delicious smell wafting over is any indication. Tommy hears everything and nothing around him, while all his attention is focused on 1) the token of friendship innocently sitting next to him 2) trying not to yell out at the pure joy he is feeling right now. This is approval. This is acceptance. This is the confirmation that he is, in all ways, part of this team.

I know, kid. I'm glad you found yourself some good friends.

Tommy huffs out a breath, unable to stop himself from smiling - he does not need his patron's approval, but it is still very much appreciated. The demon's helped him a lot, in his own weird demonic way.

The warlock snatches up both items and mutters an excuse as he quickly makes his way towards the river next to their camp.

The first thing he needs to do is find a good place to keep the bracelet.

The thing is, he can't keep it on his wrist. They get into too many nasty places, he is definitely *not* going to let it get soiled by dirt, blood or sewer water - Tommy also does not want to think about the sewers ever again, but that is a rather common and expected reaction. His ankle is also not a good choice, because of all the walking and trudging in the mud they do.

He's not going to keep it in his pack either, he want it close. He's sentimental about it, sue him.

Do not even start. He thinks intensely, anticipating what his patron could have said about his previous thought, but he gets no answer. Whatever. It's better that way.

His arm, he figures, could be the best choice. The bracelet seems to be long enough for him to be able to tie it around his upper arm, and that way his shirt would keep it covered constantly. Not to mention, his cloak also rests over that area. It would be safe and sound, and nobody would be none the wiser!

Tommy sits down by the river and starts working on it: he struggles a bit with actually tying the knot to keep it in place, but after a couple of minutes he's sure it will hold.

Then, satisfied with his work, he stands up and tries to throw the knife in the air and catch it. He does end up letting out a small yelp and letting it tumble to the ground, but he's sure he'll be able to pull it off in time.

"Technoblade!" He calls out loudly, coming back to the round space they decided to call a camp for a night. The thief doesn't even look up, but he does let out a questioning "hmm?" as his ears twitch up.

"Thank you for the wonderful gift! I'll use it wisely!" Tommy exclaims, pointing the dagger straight at his face. Techno turns towards him, nonplussed, and stares at him through the dagger. A moment passes, then Techno raises an eyebrow and moves the point of the blade away from his face with his index finger.

"Great. How about you start by remembering not to point it at allies?"

"Pfft, of course, of course! It was merely a display of how much I'm already able to use it! I bet I could even defeat you, now!" He declares, turning towards Phil's already ready breakfast and digging in, ignoring Techno's rebuttal of him needing to train for many more years in order to have a chance at defeating him, and most importantly Phil's amused and endeared expression.

The druid can read him too well: he already knows. For what Tommy knows, being an elf he probably has a way of seeing the bracelet under his sleeves from like, the way the material bends around it.

But as he scarfs down his food, he's already hatching a plan. Because while he wants to flaunt his newly gained social status, he does also want to keep this ... for himself. This isn't something he wants to share with the world. The fact that he went from being an annoyingly persistent kid to a friend of Technoblade is a personal success. It's just ... His.

What he can do, instead, is brag about having one of Technoblade's daggers. And what if he exaggerates a bit on how he got it? Who's going to correct him and say that it was actually just a mean to deliver to him a friendship bracelet?

Nobody, that's who.

Of course, he needs just one test to make sure it's going to work. It takes some time, but they eventually reach a small town. Wilbur takes care of securing a room for them all, and a discount in exchange for him performing.

Then, one late evening, they're waiting for their food to be delivered at their table, and Tommy is idly playing with Techno's dagger - he has now gotten extremely better at it, and can now not only flip it in air, but also balance it on the tip of his finger.

A bulky man with a coarse looking mustache brings them their dinner, and eyes Tommy as he keeps playing.

He meets his eyes, and his plan falls into place.

"Did you know, good sir, that this is one of the infamous Technoblade's daggers? My prize for besting him in a duel."

Next to him, Wilbur chokes on his beer and spits it all over his fresh loaf of bread. Phil is laughing as he pats his back, and the bartender eyes him suspiciously, apparently ticked off by his teammates's reactions.

"Is that right?"

"Absolutely! Isn't it, Techno?"

Everyone falls silent - except for Wil, who keeps coughing up beer for a while longer - and turns towards Techno, who seems startled at the sudden amount of eyes on him. This is it, the moment of truth. Everything comes down to what Techno answers now, because this could either be Tommy's best, most glorious moment, or a simply rather awkward instance. A moment passes, then-

"Absolutely." Techno's monotone voice answers, and the suspicion on the bartender's face changes to surprise, then impressed respect as he nods towards Tommy.

"Good job, kid." He says, then leaves their table, and Tommy couldn't be happier.

The game is on.

[ayellowcurtain]

I can be your lover

part 2 

It’s stupid, Sander thinks, holding on to the hard bathroom counter, needing something to ground him, staring at the clippers right next to the sink. It’s just hair, this was never a problem for him but for a reason it is now. Robbe loves his bleached hair, and Sander knows in a weird way, this is the end of an era. He’s been bleaching his hair for almost two years, Robbe doesn’t know him any other way. And now they’re living hours away from each other, not even in a real relationship yet and here is Sander, about to throw away the only thing that he feels still connects him and the experience Robbe had with him.

It’s stupid, he repeats to himself as he grabs the machine, holding it firmly in his palm, turning it on and wrapping his fingers around it to not mess this up too badly, lifting it up, thinking it’ll be better to start from the sides where’s shorter. His hair is getting long, too long and it gives him enough room to not go completely bald. He looks at his phone on the counter and thinks about recording it, sending the video to Robbe as a joke but he knows Robbe will be a little upset so he decides against it, checking if he’s using the right one and he presses it gently against his scalp, feeling almost instantly his hair falling against his face, tingling his cheek.

He can’t really see it, but when he’s done with the right side, he puts the clippers down and touches the counter, feeling the fuzz instead of the slick texture from before, and he pushes everything to one spot until he can see a tiny pile forming, the bleached hair and some dark dots at the ends.

Sander goes back to the other side, the back and the top at last, trying to avoid actually looking at himself in the mirror unless it’s necessary to have a decent haircut. He takes his shirt off when he’s done and tries to clean his shoulder with it before looking forward.

It’s not that bad, but it’s still dark hair where it was white before. It’s a good length, not too short, definitely shorter on the sides. It feels weird even for him, he can’t imagine how Robbe will react. He’ll take care of the mess later. The tiny hair strands all over his shoulders, neck and back are quickly getting on his nerves, so he pushes his boxers down and jumps out of them, turning the shower on and getting inside the bathtub.

It feels a lot different washing his hair, Sander can’t remember the last time his hair was this short. He tries not to overthink it as he takes a quick shower. Hair grows back, and it’ll be back to normal in no time.

Milan’s picture is on his phone when he jumps off the shower so Sander puts his phone down and accepts the call as he grabs his towel, drying his chest before wrapping around his waist, putting his phone back up, pushing it against the mirror on the wall before taking his hand off the camera.

Milan opens his mouth wide and laughs, clapping his hands, clearly enjoying seeing Sander shirtless too.

“Oh my god! Sander!” He sounds surprised, but happy and Sander uses it to calm himself.

“Do you think Robbe will like it?” Sander asks anxiously and Milan tilts his head like he just heard something very dumb.

“And why are you worried about what he’ll think?”

Sander snorts, grabbing his phone to leave the bathroom. Nobody really knows what’s going on between him and Robbe. How would they know? It’s complicated even for Sander to understand, but he knows they’re not the best at hiding their feelings either, no matter how much they don’t kiss in front of anyone and try as best as they can to act like normal friends.

“He’ll love it, I’m sure. Now you and Senne look like actual twins! The same black and white, edgy aesthetics. Too bad you live away now so you’ll have to make your own closet without sharing it with Senne...or Robbe.”

Sander nods his head, biting the inside of his cheek. He misses Robbe more than he’s willing to admit, he misses his smell, seeing Robbe stealing some of his clothes, wearing it around the house when they were alone.

“How is he?”

Milan sighs loudly, leaning against his chair, “I mean...he’s good at pretending.”

Sander sighs, sitting on his bed, going back again to the reasons why he should just stay here. He’s tired of living with his parents, no company is willing to pay him as well as he’s been paid right now, he has his dream job. He’s just one short flight away from home, he has his own space with nobody to share it with.

There are so many good, solid reasons to be here, to make the choice of moving away. And still, thinking about Robbe makes all of those reasons seem unnecessary and futile. But Robbe has a lot to figure out too, and they needed space and so Sander created the space between them. Doesn’t make him miss Robbe any less. Being the reasonable one is not a thing Sander likes to be, it doesn’t come naturally to him so it’s like his nature is constantly fighting him, wanting to go back home and drop everything else.

Milan gets easily distracted talking about Senne and Zoe and Sander hums agreeing or disagreeing whenever he feels it’ll fit the conversation while he opens his conversation with Robbe.

to Robbe: Can you talk now?

Robbe is online and the bubbles appear instantly on his screen.

to Sander: am with the boys

kinda drank a little

not sure if it’s safe for us to talk now

Sander smiles at his phone, thinking about a shy and drunk Robbe trying to talk to him while having his friends watching. The thought of Robbe not being able to hide how soft he goes for Sander makes him find any excuse to end his call with Milan and instantly call Robbe.

He looks around while he waits and grabs a clean shirt that’s on his bed, putting it on quickly, just then remembering about his hair, very sure Robbe will not be able to hide his feelings about it either. Sander can’t make himself be mad if the boys find out they’re together. He keeps biting the corner of his bottom lip until a shaky image finally appears and he sees Robbe a second later, the boys talking loudly off camera.

“What did you do?!” Robbe almost screams, frowning and coming closer to the camera like that’ll make him see better.

“You like it?” Sander is overwhelmed by how loud and fast his heart is beating but he notices how insecure and afraid he sounds and he hopes the boys are busy with something else not to notice it too.

“Sander...why did you do that?” He whines and pouts a little and Sander wants to kiss him so badly.

The boys end their little moment, jumping around Robbe to see whatever he’s seeing and complaining about.

“Wow, bro! Looks so nice!” Moyo is the first one to say anything and Sander tries to smile and look at him, whispering a thank you back, too worried about Robbe’s thoughts still.

“So edgy.” Aaron says like it’s an afterthought and Jens and Moyo laugh.

“Yeah, Sander, looks sick! I’m sure the ladies are climbing all over you with the new look.”

He doesn’t know what to say to that and he doesn’t have to because Robbe finally walks away from them, seeming to close the living room door behind him, walking by himself down the hall between the bedrooms.

“I miss you.” Sander fills the awkward silence for both of them.

“I miss you too.” Robbe whispers like he’s ashamed to say it and Sander knows he’s just saying because of the beers he probably already drank.

“Why don’t you just tell them?”

“What is there to tell? Especially now that you’re somewhere else, fucking whoever you like.” Robbe sounds really annoyed, throwing himself against a wall and Sander sighs, knowing the boys are probably gossiping a lot about him and whatever he’s doing with his free time here, by himself, filling Robbe’s brain with bullshit.

“You can’t imagine the line outside my place.” He tries not to sound too hard, smiling when Robbe rolls his eyes.

“I have an idea. I gave you a note, remember? When you left and it’s not like I got anything back...”

“What?” Sander gets up from his bed to walk around aimlessly like Robbe is doing again.

“You don’t know that I like you? Is that it?” Robbe blushes but doesn’t say sorry or explain why he hasn’t come to visit yet, “You’re the one with the plane ticket just getting old inside your drawer or something.”

It takes a long minute but Robbe finally wets his lips, searching for what to say.

“You know I like things to be very clear, right?”

“What is Jens filling your head with?”

“He’s not doing anything.”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Are you jealous?” Robbe smiles expectantly, walking slower now, thankfully, wanting to give Sander his full attention for what he says next.

“What is there to be jealous about? Especially now that you’re somewhere else, fucking whoever you like.” Sander snorts, unable to think of anything other than how beautiful Robbe looks on his screen right now. “Yeah, I’m fucking jealous.”

“I just want you. Nobody else.”

“So come see me already, Robin. Please.” Robbe smiles and Sander doesn’t feel so self aware for whining, needing to see his boy soon.

They stay in silence for a long time, looking at each other, noticing the big or small differences.

“I like how long your hair is getting.” Sander says with a comfortable smile of his lips, lying back down on his bed, adjusting his pillow underneath his head.

“I don’t like when you call me Robin…” Robbe whispers, looking at Sander to get his reaction.

“You don’t?” Sander lifts his eyebrows, surprised, absently running his fingers through his scalp, feeling how fuzzy it is, wishing he could make Robbe feel it too, make some comment about how he likes it or not.

“Not like this...when you’re being serious.”

Sander nods his head, his smile growing bigger, “So you like it when I use it to annoy you.”

Robbe shrugs, and rests his head against the wall, “Can I go in two weeks?”

“Really?!” Sander pushes himself to sit up.

“Yeah.”

“Of course you can. Tell me the time you get here and I’ll pick you up at the airport.”

[katsubiatch]

Hopelessly Devoted-2

Warnings: Bar Shenanigans, Alcohol consumption, descriptions of medical events

Authors Note: I'm so sorry it took me so long to get this out! I have a 11 month old and a full time job, plus we recently found out so bad news about my father in laws health so I've been taking time for family. However now this is finally out I hope everyone likes it and I've already started working on the next part which I can hopefully get out soon. Thank you to everyone who has stuck around!! Also just a note at the start of each chapter, not sure how many there will be, I am going to add in a part that will tie later into the story!

Pain. Indescribable pain soaked into each part of your body, molding into each crack and crevice. You thought you were screaming but you couldn't quite tell. When your ryes finally opened the bright white lights almost blinded you. There was a flurry of activity around you, people moving, your body parts being moved and needles poking into you. "You're alright, it's going to be okay. Just breath for me, okay Y/N?" You heard to your left, and your head felt heavy as you looked over to a familiar face of one of your coworkers. She looked like she was going to cry. Then you heard some familiar words that usually meant bad news. "Pressures are dropping, we need to get an ultrasound. She might be having internal bleeding!"

There were a few words that you wanted to get out, but your tongue felt thick and sluggish. Your brain not working as quickly as you would like but soon you were fading back into that black nothingness where there was no pain and you could rest. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One date lead to two, two to three and so on. The last thing you expected was to be exclusively dating a pro hero. Especially not such a controversial pro hero who was explosive both literally and emotionally. You hadn't really kept up with pros before but since you started dating Dynamight, or Katsuki as you were now able to call him, you noticed him in more and more interviews and managed to catch him on the news more often than you ever had before. He was... sweet and kind when he wanted to be, but he was also brash and rude at times. You were able to see past that most of the time. You took it in stride, brushed off his comments that weren't meant to be rude but came off that way. He showed his love and appreciation in strange ways, and you just had to decipher it.

Of course your relationship was kept out of the news, quiet and secret. You didn't mind too much, after all you were not about fame and wanting people to know your name. Katsuki said that it was safer that way, no villain's would come after you to get to him. You wouldn't be under constant threat of being kidnapped or killed. Besides it also kept your name out of the tabloids and gossip columns with people speculating on who you were and if you were just with Katsuki because of his fame or money. However there were a few people he wanted to let in on the secret.

You were currently sitting at the same bar you'd met at, sipping at your drink while Katsuki sat next to you and peeled the label off his beer bottle. It was hard to tell when he was anxious but this was a safe assumption that he was at least a little nervous. You were going to be meeting his friends, ones from high school that he'd managed to stay in touch with. Though you were sure that was mostly because they all pretty much worked together as pros. "Don't be so nervous. I'm sure it will be fine." You rolled your eyes, moving to place your hands around his, stilling them as you looked up at him. "I'm pretty sure I've met most of them before at the hospital. So I mean.. I already slightly know them." You shrugged and went back to your drink. The coolness from the ice a stark contrast to the warmth of Katsuki's hands. "It's not that... they're just idiots and they'll probably drive you away. I mean they're a lot to handle." That was an understatement but Y/N wasn't worried. If his friends were too much she could always excuse herself for a few minutes. Besides how bad could they be? "Don't worry about that, I'm sure there isn't anything they could say that would keep me away from you." You smiled, leaning over to place a kiss against Bakugou's lips, which caused him to become flustered and turn a shade of pink. He wasn't a huge fan of PDA so you didn't often push but he indulged you sometimes.

"Uh oh, Bakubro caught kissing in public!" A loud voice sounded to he left of you two, causing you to look over at a very energetic blond. You'd seen him quite a few times getting stitched up and flirting with nurses. "Hi, I'm..." He started but trailed off when you interrupted him.

"Denki Kaminari. I've seen you in the ER a few times, you're the one who.. gets kind of dumb when you overuse your quirk, right?" You asked, giving him a smile. "Ooohhh that's rough bro." Another tall man with bright red hair and built like a God in your opinion, and could be none other than.. "Eijiro Kirishima, nice to meet you." "Okay that's enough small talk!" Bakagou grumbled as he looked over at the three of you, causing you to laugh a touch. "Where are Pinky and Plain face?" He inquired. "On their way, got stuck at the office." Kaminari pouted from his spot at the table. Things went much better than Bakugou could have imagined. You got along with his friends almost too well and he almost regretted introducing you to them. You were tipsy with Mina and Kaminari, and he was sure that the three of you were coming up with a bad idea which you were, and ended up with the three of you absolutely butchering karaoke. But Bakugou didn't care, things felt right and he was glad you got along with his friends.

It was a year into your relationship, and the two of you had moved in together. It wasn't often that you got to spend together. With Bakugou wanting to do everything he could to become number 1 and with your crazy work schedule it just made sense. Some days you only saw each other in passing, or the rare night off you would spend being lazy and sleeping. It wasn't ideal but neither of you would ask the other to give up things. So you took your one or two nights a week that you actually got to sleep next to your boyfriend over nothing, and didn't complain. You didn't complain but things started to turn sour at one point when Bakugou caught you and your coworker standing a bit to close to one another to read a chart. His mind had gone crazy with jealousy and thoughts of you cheating on him. The lack of time spent together drove him crazy and cause a lot of insecurities in him.

"Are you kidding me? I'm cheating on you with Arata? Seriously?" You managed to get out after he finally voice his accusations aloud. You'd just gotten home from a long shift, almost twenty four hours and this was how you were greeted. Bakugou sitting at the kitchen table ready for an interrogation the second you walked in. "I don't know where you got your information or what you think is true but you're wrong." You scoffed, shaking your head and moving to pull your shoes off.

"I'm wrong? Then why is that creep always hanging around you?Every time I'm at the hospital he's standing right next to you." Bakugou was ready for any excuse, anything that you had to say. "Because he's my friend?" You voiced as a question, going about your routine for when you got home from work. Getting dinner, peeling off your scrubs and taking a hot shower. "We work together, and he's my friend. I've never even thought of him like that." You scrunched up your nose, shaking your head and moving towards the bathroom. "Just a friend?" "Yes! Just a friend! He's a doctor in the ER and we work together. Most of the time we're working on the same cases." You shrug starting to undress as you look back over at him. "I promise that we aren't running around the hospital having secret sex rendezvous. It isn't like Grey's Anatomy." You sigh and undo your hair from the bun you'd piled it in halfway through your shift. "Fine, I'll believe you." Bakugou huffed, smiling down at your naked form, his hands moving to your hips. "That's all I ask." You beam up at him, pulling at the bottom of his shirt, "Mmm now why don't you join me in the shower?" Little didn't you know that this wouldn't be the last time you had this conversation.