#my first real fandom - the first place where i really felt like i fit in (it was like. exclusively neurodivergent queer women & non-binary

[lena-oleanderson]

my version of "i wonder what else they have written - RPF hockey???" is my 22 ghostbusters (2016) fanfics i wrote within 2 of my 8 years on ao3

[orchidbreezefc]

ok. years have passed and we've had some distance, so i'm finally gonna take the leap of faith that tma fandom is finally ready to hear me on this. let's talk about tannins.

161 was the first tma episode i heard on early release, and i felt the bit where martin declines wine and cites tannins was pretty obvious in its implications. cool, got it, say no more.

imagine my surprise when i was one of maybe three people i saw read between the lines there, in a fandom famous for red stringing--a fandom that immediately caught the much less obvious thread of ignition sources in the same episode. i'll spell it out: alcohol is an issue for martin.

maybe it just felt obvious because addiction is a pet issue for me--as it is for jonny, who has said everything he writes is filtered through a lens of addiction. i don't know if that's due to his own experience or a loved one's, and i won't speculate; i also don't know if martin personally struggled with drinking or just avoids it for fear he would, but alcohol would fit what we know of his family. his dad walking out and his mum spiralling into bitter wallowing and verbal abuse? i'd bet one or both of them drank, yeah.

on a basic level martin tries to decline alcohol, and that alone should have raised eyebrows given what we know of martin and, again, a fandom that dissects everything. we already knew martin "K" blackwood lied about his personal life and his family in particular, especially pre-canon, which is when this flashback took place. i was shocked that everyone took his flimsy excuse at face value with no further questions.

and the excuse is flimsy. martin turns down wine by--nervously--exclaiming tannins are "a proven headache trigger!" which sounds like trivia from a magazine cover and not the words of someone who actually has headaches--and it hasn't come up before or since. jon, confused, points out that tea, a drink martin consumes to a degree that is memetic both in- and out-of-universe, also contains tannins, and martin squawks a panicked, "what?!"

if tannins are enough of a concern for martin that he knew they're in wine and so avoids it, why didn't he know they're in his drink of choice? why does he still drink tea at the time of canon, and why doesn't he struggle with constant headaches from consuming 'a proven headache trigger' day in and day out? why, indeed, would someone avoid wine and not tea?

when sasha insists martin drink he caves and agrees to 'just a drop'. i imagine him pouring it in a plant, which admittedly he could have done if tannins really were the issue. i will say that i, for one, would be less likely to falsely agree to something that makes me physically ill than to a private issue that i'd rather not be pressed on any further. this scene also establishes martin's birthday was an ice cream party instead of the more traditional visit to a pub.

also, this scene was in the first episode of the final season, as one of three flashbacks that could have been to any pre-canon event in the archives. prime narrative real estate. not really time one would waste on establishing the important character context that martin has... headaches. which never comes up before or after, even regarding the week he spent in spiral town. but you know what is pretty crucial character background...?

it felt like a no-brainer, and yet all i saw was h/c fluff about jon attending to martin's headaches. and i hate feeling bitter about disability representation. i want folks with chronic headaches to feel seen and have fluffy escapist fantasies. i don't want to be mad about people portraying a character with a disability. but, guys? you got the wrong disability. jonny sent a clear message, and it went over fandom's head.

[prettyboykatsuki]

VIOLET | RAZOR. (GENSHIN)

✾ tags ; afab + gn!reader, aged-up characters, virginity loss/first times, established relationship, mutual virginity loss, nipple play, fingering, oral (f!recieving), creampies (reader is using a contraceptive), reader is mentioned to be an orphan / run away , 18+

✾ wc ; 6.1k (went to edit and went 700 words over the wc. pain)

✾ a/n ; i'm losing my mind btw. razor my only triple crowned character my most greatly beloved my angel my sweet. also i added the aged up tag mostly bc its the genshin fandom but. if u dont like that dont read. ez peazy.

also trust and believe the voice im picturing in this is his jpn dub. this is important

✾ synopsis ; you resolve yourself after many long years of abstinence, you're going to ask razor about sex the minute he comes home.

Razor is human. 

On a technical level, this information isn’t news to you. He looks human. His physical makeup is human. He needs to eat and sleep like humans do. Focusing on the technicals alone, Razor is very, very human.

It doesn’t change that he was raised by wolves, though. And you don’t want it too. You think it’d be a shame if he started to assimilate too much into human society just because he felt like he had too. You know how he feels about it. And that Boreas is the closest he’s ever had to a father figure, thus making his claim about Razor's humanity a rather devastating blow. He feels inhuman all while knowing he is. You think once upon a time, he really did wish to be a wolf. 

You’ve known Razor since you were a teenager. You’d ended up in Wolvendom after your exploration of Teyvat led you to its outskirts. You’d bonded over your similarities. Two orphans with no real place where they fit in completely and complete odd-ball personalities - Razor was an easy friend for you to make. Even when you eventually decided to settle into Mondstat - you’d made a point to visit Razor regularly and spend time with him in the forest. 

You made an odd pair of course, but you didn’t mind. If no one else understood you in the world - you know Razor always would. He’d listen patiently about all of your adventures and sit quietly as you decided to pester him by braiding his hair or teaching him new words. Loyal, obedient, sweet.

You never formally had the boyfriend conversation in the time you’d spent together. One day, however, Razor took you to meet Boreas out of the blue as well as the leader of his pack. You figured maybe it was something he did with his close friends. It only occurred to you that maybe this was a more serious meeting when Razor promptly gestured towards you and introduced you as his mate. 

Razor, predictably, was very confused about your minor freak out. You tried not to let it show during your little chit-chat, but afterwards you’d shaken him by the shoulders and interrogated him about his word choice. This of course didn’t register in his mind at all. According to Razor, you’d been his mate since long ago. He’d been courting you since the moment you met in the way wolves are known too. You’re an adventurer, well-versed in certain animal behaviors for the sake of survival, including wolves. 

And looking back on your interactions he was right,  Razor had been courting you from the start. The news made you flush, and you went back into Razors camp and thoroughly educated him on human courting rituals.

(“Why matter?” Razor asks, head laid in your lap while he looks up at you from inside the tent “Not important.” 

“Why would it not be important?” 

He turns towards you, head facing your stomach as one arm lazily wraps around your waist. He yawns sleepily, seemingly not worried about a thing. 

“You are mate. Mate last until death.” He explains, casually - like he’d always believed he’d spend every minute of his life with you. Like that was the only natural outcome for you both and that he’d never consider anything else. You want to explain, it’s different for humans. Humans don’t usually mate that way, you should say. But the words die out in your mouth as he clings closer to you “Sorry for..not asking.. properly. What are we…as humans?” 

You look down at where he lays, thumb brushing over his cheek. 

“Lovers or life partners. They’re closest to the word mate, in definition.” 

“Lovers easier,” He grumbles, eyebrows tightening at the complex words in your sentence “You want to be lovers with Razor?” 

You laugh. Light and bubbly and warm as you lean forward and try to mask the tears welling up in the corners of your eyes. 

“Yes. We’re lovers from now on. And mates. And lupical, right?” 

Razor sighs contentedly into your midriff.

“And lupical.”)

According to Razor, you had been mates from the minute you met. According to your human timeline, you have been dating since you were both around 17. It’s been a long time since then and nothing in your relationship has changed.

You’re an adult now and you work with the city of Mondstat studying wildlife populations. You live in the city in a cottage, and Razor lives with you - though he spends most of his day outside. He does the domestic labor while you whittle away at papers and projects. Because of your job, you still spend a fair bit of time together in the wild. He has plenty of insight about the wildlife in Wolvendom and is keen enough on changes to give significant contribution to your study. His work as your partner is unofficial, but everyone acknowledges that you come together in a set. Where you go, Razor follows.

You’re happy with your life. With your relationship to your wolf-boy boyfriend, with the career you’ve carved out of scratch and the life you’ve built. You left your orphanage young and spent a long time on the run. You’re incredibly thankful for all of what you have and you could never think of what more to ask for. 

This is especially true for you and Razor. You’ve never had any real major obstacles in your relationship. Part of this comes from the wolven habit of mating for life. Concepts like pride are foreign to Razor. He says sorry even when he doesn’t completely understand and he has no concept of betraying your loyalty. Most things you can teach, he learns very quickly. But there are also some things no one ever teaches you to navigate. Some boundaries you can’t be sure you’re allowed to cross. 

You’re a blossoming, healthy person in their twenties and so is Razor. He’s scarred and athletic in the outdoorsy way and he’s a little more rugged now that you’ve both grown. He’s hit a growth spurt and he’s taller than you and every time you see his arm flex carrying in an entire boar to butcher in your yard - you start getting so hot under the collar you feel like you’re going to explode. 

The problem is: you want to have sex and you want to have it badly. You want it so bad it’s starting to make you feel like you’re a deviant. Like you’re some kind of harlot masquerading as an archon-fearing civilian.

But it’s so hard to bring up and you don’t know how you’re ever going too. 

You’re very good at asking for what you want usually. It comes with the territory. And thanks to your boyfriend's cluelessness about human social convention, asking for things isn’t embarrassing. Concepts like shame are learned through a lifetime of socialization that he lacks and while you could sit and try to teach him - you don’t think he would care either way. He listens if you tell him he shouldn’t do something, but that’s because you’re his mate and his lupical. 

What other people think is none of his concern. He cares about his Lupical. So if Lisa or Bennet or Klee tell him something, he might take it into consideration. But they, like you, love the parts of Razor that make him how he is and his complete innocence in some ways is part of that. 

You know you could very well ask Razor for sex. You’ve spent a lot of time together and you’ve learned many things about him. It’s not like there’s nothing there at all. Like his every other trait, Razor normally relies on instinct to guide him. You’ve learned through kisses and dry-humping that he can get hard at least. You’ll probably never know the details of his arousal, and the only you’ll ever find out is by having sex with him. 

You don’t know what else he knows. What Lisa has told him of the birds and the bees. 

You have tried to ask Lisa inadvertently, but she enjoys making fun of you too much to give you any straightforward answers. And in her own maternal way, she thinks it’d be better for your relationship if you go ahead and ask yourself. 

She’s right about that, but it’s also not very easy. You know Razor would never judge you. He doesn’t even have the capacity to do so. But while Razor knows nothing of shame, you certainly do. 

It’s your problem to get over. You know that. You rationalize that your fantasies are healthy and normal for someone your age. But there is something terribly humiliating about trying to express the extent of your desire apart from just having it. Is it fair to teach Razor about desire? Does he know of it already and the both of you just suffer in silence? 

Razor is a man. A grown man, and tougher than most men you know. He’s seen more than almost anyone else as part of living in the woods. You know he’s not some innocent fairy. But you can’t get over the feeling like you’re corrupting his sweet preciousness somehow. 

(This has its own charm, but that’s not relevant. Or maybe it is. Maybe there’s guilt for that too but it’s not something you can unpack) 

You’re reaching your upper limit on patience. Your hand can only do the job so long (though the import of sex toys from Fontaine do help) nothing can truly replace what you want. And what you want is Razor.

So, you’ve made your choice. When Razor comes home from…what he’s doing today - you’re going to ask him to have sex.

__

You’ve finished all of your work, did as many chores as you can, and now you’re waiting in your bedroom trying to read a book.

You haven’t even read past the first page, actually. But you’re trying. It’s hard to do anything meaningful when your brain keeps pivoting back to what's going to happen when your boyfriend returns home. 

You’re nervous and fidgeting, rubbing your socked feet together and running over the laundry list of talking points you’ve concocted trying to make this happen. You shaved but not bare because you know he definitely wouldn’t like it, but you’re clean. You aren’t sure if he’s going to like that either and he’s expressed that he likes when you smell natural. But it soothed your anxiety to shower so he’ll have to leave with it. 

You have no idea how this could go. You don’t even know how to prepare for the worst, because you don’t know what the worst is. But you reassure yourself with the fact Razor loves you and leave it at that.

You hear the door open and take a deep breath. 

There’s heavy footsteps that get louder and louder. Razor cracks the door open politely, peeking his head into your shared room. He makes a face, the softest little smile you’ve ever seen - before letting himself in and shutting the door behind him. He’s quick to undress himself - jacket and scarf abandoned along with his boots. Leaving him in green pants and a bandage around his chest and arsm. 

“Hi,” He says simply, coming down over to where you’re laid. He chooses to sit on the floor, folding his arms on the bed as he looks at you patiently “Missed you,” 

“Hey there,” Your heart is pounding just looking at him. He’s unreasonably handsome. Had he grown up in normal conditions, you think he would’ve been a very popular loner type. “How was your family?” 

“Good,” He says shortly, eyes warm and light “New pup. First time seeing since I was little. Very small and cute.” 

“I’m glad. Bet it’s nice not to be the youngest anymore.” 

“Come next time,” He says genuinely “They miss you.” 

Your heart is so full you think it might burst. It temporarily soothes your anxiety.

“Of course I will.” 

Razors eyes examine you for a minute. Your heart is still racing. Of course he notices it. He knows much more about you than you’ll ever know about yourself. His brow creases in concern. 

“What’s wrong?” 

You look at him apologetically, immediately warmed by how worried he is. You give him a small smile. 

“I’m okay. Just a little nervous. Wanted to ask you about something.” 

“Okay. I listen. No need to..be nervous.” 

Right. He’s right about that. You sit up and Razor remains where he is. He’s seated comfortably on the floor, on his knees - between your thighs. He’s a sight for sore eyes, terribly rugged and scarred with nothing but honesty settled in his gaze. Carmine and beautiful. You fold your hands in your lap and before you can worry too much, Razor grabs one in his hand. 

He kisses your knuckles so gently, leaning his face into your palm. 

“It’s okay.” 

You figure it’s best to be straight to the point. 

“Uhm. Razor. Do you…know what sex is?” 

“Yes.” 

“Well, it’s—wait what? Did you just say yes?” 

He nods again. “Miss Lisa taught me.” 

That witch. You take a deep breath. It’s now or never.

“And uhm, what did she tell you about it?” You ask tentatively. 

“Like mating but for humans. Best to do with mate. Good to be careful or else pups will come too soon.” 

You stare at him, jaw slack. 

“Right. And what else?” 

He racks his brain right in front of you. 

“Uhm. Can be for…feel good. Should go slow. Lots of things different from wolf.” 

“...Do you know how it happens? The specifics?” 

Razor goes a soft pink. Razor blushes. 

“Yes.” 

You have no idea what to feel. Not the faintest clue in the world. This is the first time in your entire relationship either of you have been in an awkward situation. You’re partially relieved it’s not completely foreign, partially feeling hot between the legs because you’re not corrupting anything. You make a face of uncertainty. 

“Oh. Uhm. Do you—have you ever.. I mean—have you ever wanted to have sex with me then? I-is that something you’d…want to do?” 

Razor almost looks perplexed by this question. He nods, then follows up. 

“Yes. A lot.” 

You nearly choke on your spit. 

“A lot?” 

“Yes. But.. Miss Lisa said to wait. Until mate asks.” 

You’re going to have a serious discussion with that damned woman later. You take a shaky breath, looking at him carefully. This is going to break you in a way you don’t know if you’ll recover from. But you’re fine, you’ve made it this far. And you don’t want to back down when you haven’t gotten to the finish line. The final blow. 

You’re not completely sure where you go from here honestly. Your brain was fully expecting to go on a long rant about sexual intercourse. Now that that’s out of the window, you’re at a loss. You decide, internally, that going straight forward is the best thing you could do for now. 

“Then… would you want to have sex with me?” 

His eyes widen then he pauses, looking worried. 

“Well…yes. But, worried. Not sure…how.” 

“Well, uhm. Normally it starts with kissing and t-touching and things like that. You can just do what feels right. Uhm.. and I’ll tell you… what I like. A-and what feels good.” You offer, trying not to show just how nervous you are even suggesting “But uhm… I also… think about it. A lot. With you.” 

His eyes light up, and you can practically see the change in him. You’ve never let yourself get close enough to look but when you see him now that you know, it’s obvious. He’s looked at you like this before. 

Like he wants you. 

“Razor,” You say, bracing yourself for impact “Come up here.” 

He’s quick to his feet. You lay back down and Razor lays himself ontop of you, hovering gently. He smells like forest, the rich warm scent of dirt and sunlight mixed with sweat that you’ve grown fond of. Looking down at you, he presses his forehead against yours with his eyes fluttered closed. 

“Mate,” His breath is warm like he’s been chewing mint leaves and sweet flowers. He does it sometimes before coming home “Love you,” 

“I love you too, Razor. You don’t,” You swallow thickly, suddenly aware of your proximity “Don’t hold back okay? You won’t break me.” 

“Want to..” He thinks slowly, brain clearly struggling to come up with the right word “Cherish. Want to cherish mate. Cherish you.” 

You give him a breathy laugh as he leans in close to you. 

“Did Miss Lisa teach you that?”

“Yes,” He replies, pressing his cheek to yours and rubbing himself against you innocently “Cherish you a lot.” 

“I cherish you a lot too,” You offer and he smiles. You feel your heart thump as you look up at him less innocently “Let’s kiss first, okay” 

He doesn’t reply. This much is familiar. Though this was something you had to teach him at first, you would go as far as saying Razor kisses better than you. He’s better than you in these ways most of the time. He knows how to read your body language down to the most irrelevant details, attuned to your physicality in a way that could only be inhuman. The first time he noticed a change in your cycle after starting some herbal contraceptives, you were turned on as much as you were afraid. 

His mouth is hot and overwhelming, plush as he kisses you passionately. He’s quick to open your mouth up with his tongue. Razor likes to taste. It’s natural for him to slip his tongue past your lips and lick at yours. You think if anyone else did it you’d be turned off. But with him hovering you over you, desperate as he pulls and nips at your lower lip - it’s stimulating.  It makes you wet before you can think about it too hard. Your hands curl themselves around his neck, tangling at the thick roots of his gray hair. 

He moans when you tug, and your eyes nearly pop out of your sockets. You do it again, a little harder and the same broken sound leaves his lips in the middle of kiss. You swallow the noise before pulling away, looking at his face. His face is perfectly rosy, lips swollen from where you’ve been kissing them.

“Did you,” You look at him erratically, eyes going over every part of his face “Did that feel good?” 

He nods, dumbfounded. 

“Felt good but,” He shakes his head in disbelief “Don’t know why.” 

You giggle, delighted with the outcome. 

“No it’s good, that’s normal.” You say trying not to babble “It’s like your body’s weak point.”

“Not weak.”

“It’s not a bad thing. I have some too. Like my neck.”

You can see the gears turning in his head.  He tucks his chin against your shoulder and before you can speak to ask him about it, he’s pressing his lips against the skin of your neck. He doesn’t stop at a kiss, though. He proceeds to lick the small patch of tender flesh, before sinking his teeth into it.

You moan. You moan sharp, almost like a gasp of pain. He opens his mouth to ask if you’re okay but when he sees you he stops. He blinks, then gives you a look you’ve never seen. 

His voice is almost chipped - richer and more hoarse as his fingers go over what can only be bite marks.

“Feels good?” He says, then adds more urgently “Where else?”

You’ve made him discover something. You’re sure of that. He looks awfully determined about it, too. 

You sigh shakily, grabbing his hands. Even though you’re trembling mercilessly, you want this. You want him. You let his hand squeeze around the swell of your tits - your nipples peeking through the thin fabric of your shirt. With your eyes locked on his, you brush your nipples.

“H-here,” You admit watching his eyes go dark. Animalistic. “Uhm. W-with your mouth, you c-can suck on them.” 

He’s quiet. 

“Like pup?” 

You laugh. 

“A little bit like that, I guess. But it’s different.” 

He makes a small, approving noise with his mouth, once again thinking hard about something before he continues down his path. He leaves open kisses all over your skin, hands reaching to undress you. You help him, peeling your shirt over your head and tossing it somewhere. His eyes are shut closed, in bliss as he licks and bites down your neck with no real grace. His tongue is wet and rough all over you. 

You can tell you’re being primed for something animal. Like being tenderized, worked apart in a way that makes you melt into something soft. Something that can be broken without teeth, that can be swallowed in one go. It’s not a romantic kiss as much as it’s a hungry graze, a gnawing lust. He’s not being so reserved anymore, and that means sinking his teeth as far into you as he can go, not enough to break the skin. Razor would never break you. But he might ruin you, might melt you down from your very center until he can tear you apart. 

You thought it’d hurt, and it does - but in a good way. There’s some sick sense of relief in how achy your whole body is. You’re burning up because Razor wants you like he’s starving. An emptiness claws at you, makes the back of your gums ache. Makes all the hairs on the back of your neck stand nearly straight as you sink deeper in. You want to be full of him and you want him to get so full off of you. 

Razor doesn’t stop his tirade even when he gets down to your chest. Instead his mouth closes around your tit, hard incisors sinking into the supple skin but only slightly gentler than before. His canines feel sharper than yours. They must be. 

“O-oh,” You can feel your voice shake as you hold onto the back of his head. He touches the other one with his free hand, squeezing and massaging the skin. He rubs your nipples experimentally in the same way you did a moment ago. “Razor, hngh,” 

A noise is pulled from the back of his throat, a growl - so hard and heavy that it reverberates into your skin. You can feel it spread through your whole body, your core tightening up. Your skin is prickly. A solar flare shooting through your spine. 

You don’t think you’ve ever been so aroused. You can hardly breathe around the weight of it sitting in your chest.

“Your scent..change.” Razor says through a breath, a thick layer of saliva where his mouth once was “Hot. So hot.” 

You nearly whimper. 

“ It’s because I’m wet…Aroused.” 

“Wet?”

“It means I want to be touched. I want you to touch me down there.” 

A beat of silence. 

“Want me..to mate with you.” He sits up onto his knees, staring at you. Your legs are around his waist loosely. He presses a hand to your clothed sex. You jolt at the contact. “Want me to fill you, here?” 

He puts his hand on your hip, on your stomach - before tucking his fingers into the waistband of your shorts.

“Want to see. What’s wet, I want to see.” 

You lift your legs slightly, pulling your shorts off as you're bent at the knee. It’s embarrassing being bare naked in front of Razor, though you’ve seen him in the same state plenty. He’s quick to grab your knee and force your legs apart wide. He’s got that same focused stare, tongue poked out as he brushes the coarse hairs on your mound with his knuckle. You squirm under the feeling. 

“Pretty,” He says first, then follows with “It’s…very warm. Hot but doesn’t hurt” 

Razor explores with his hands. He runs his finger along your slit, before using his thumbs to spread you apart. He nudges your clit. At first you wonder if it's an accident, but when he does it again - rubs a pointed circle on the aching bundle of nerves you realize he’s being intentional. 

“Here, right?” Razor says slowly and gauges your reaction “Feels good for you…here. Helps.” 

You want to ask who taught him such a thing but you already know the answer. You nod helpless, feeling the way his thumb goes back and forth. He tries it in different ways, watches whatever way makes your breath hitch the most. 

“Here makes you… jump. Like bunny rabbit. Like prey”

The word prey almost takes you out. You can’t make your words out very eloquently anymore. “It’s uhm sensitive.” 

He knows the word. You’ve taught him it. He looks at your bare cunt all awestruck, gloved hand resting on your sex as he continues to toy with your clit. You squirm and shake, even trying to pull away. Razor manages to grab you, keeps you pinned with your legs spread, using his own body to keep you like that. 

“Razor,” You moan, grabbing at his wrist “Razor.” 

“Mm. It’s soft. So soft.” 

“I want to see yours.” 

It takes him a second to register your words, but he’s not ashamed in the slightest when he does. He takes off his gloves right before. You’ve felt it, briefly, the weight and heft of his cock through clothes but you’ve never actually seen it. You gasp as he pulls it out, tucking his pants down under his balls. He’s hairy - thick dark gray hairs nested at the base. His cock has a pretty curve up, tip ruddy and bright. It’s drooling, dribbling pre-cum and heavy. He wraps his free hand around the base and strokes it instinctively. It’s a good length, but it’s thick. Thicker than you could’ve ever conjured up in your own mind.

You reach for it between your bodies, your hands trembling as you touch it. Razor lets out another throaty growl. Your hand doesn’t fit around it completely. The back of your throat tightens up.

“You’re—it’s big. I can’t—not at once. I h-have to open myself up a little bit.” 

Razor tilts his head to one side and you shake yours in reply. 

“I need to uhm,” You gesture vaguely “Make it more..wet and stretch myself out. So you fit i-inside.” 

“Want to help. Teach me.” 

“...Teach you?” 

“Easier if I..learn now. When we do it again later. Teach me..how to touch you.” 

The words sound sweet coming out of his mouth, honeyed and loving. An obedient and eager pupil, Razor has always been that hasn’t he? And he always listens the best he can, tries his hardest. You suppose that this instance is no different. You suck in a breath and spread your legs a little more. 

“Watch,” 

Razor watches. He watches as you dip your fingers into your mouth and coat them with saliva. Watches as you snake a hand in between your legs and dip your middle finger down low into your cunt - with a trembling sigh at the sudden intrusion. He watches intimately as you pump them in and out, rhythmic and noisy. The sound of your own wet heat rings in your ears as you spread yourself in earnest. 

Half-way through, Razor puts a hand on your thigh. He pushes your own hand away, and waits for you to open your eyes. He stares at you, long and hard. 

“I want to eat you. Want to lick,” His hand cups your bare pussy “Here. Make you wet. Open you by myself. Want to eat.” 

You’re speechless. Profoundly turned on by the sentiment, so much so you can’t make out your own voice. 

“Uhm,” You close your hands into a fist, tucking your chin. “You can do whatever you like, Razor.” 

He assesses the statement and you watch him take it in. He ends up on his stomach, lying between your thighs. You’re fascinated by his assurance in himself. He takes the right position between your legs. You spread out to give him easier access and he gives you a silent look of thanks. His breath is warm as it fans your cunt. 

Before you get a chance to breathe, Razor sticks his tongue and licks. It’s animalistic with no real finesse at all. He makes up for it with enthusiasm and some conclusions he’s drawn with your assistance. He sucks on your clit nearly feverish, takes it into his mouth like he did your tits minutes prior. It’s drooly and sticky and nasty in a way that makes you ashamed. You’re more ashamed because you like it, you love it really. Spit is running down, dripping down to your ass. It’s a loud slurp - a shameless, nasty hunger in how he licks up your arousal with his mouth and drenches your pussy with spit. 

His groans reverberate into you. He likes what he’s doing. The sound and touch and taste - Razor overwhelms you with all of it. There’s a tangible intensity wrapping up around you, keeping you trapped in the wolf's den. 

You don’t teach him to use his fingers. He seems to have figured it out. The pad of his middle finger draws the spit pooling along your seam before pushing itself into your tight hole. You gasp at how invasive it is at first. Razors fingers are thick and scarred and you can feel the ridges of your raised skin from healed injured when he fucks you open with them. 

It feels good. Being wanted. Being consumed voraciously and openly without any care for shame. Razor is the embodiment of raw desire and all of it- every ounce of it is being used to devour you. The descendant of wolves, the son of the forest - laid between your thighs and eating like something delicious left at an abandoned altar. 

Even clumsy, you’re turned on beyond reason. Arousal leaves you shakily pawing at him to slow down. Your voice is reduced to nothing but small whines and mewls - pleas to slow down that fall on deaf ears. 

“Razor,” Your voice is clipped “Razor, please - it’s enough. Just.” 

When he snaps out of his haze, his chin is soaked with arousal and spit. He wipes it with the back of his hand, looking at you. 

“Tastes good. You taste nice.” He praises, heaving and out of breath. 

Your stomach flares up with new found lust, hands covering your face. 

“Archons, just. Come here.” 

Razor climbs up on top of you again. You cup his face and kiss him hard, tasting yourself on him. 

“You’re so unfair. But I can’t get angry because you’re not even doing it on purpose.”

“Sorry,” 

You shake your head, kissing the corner of his mouth. Trembling with need. 

“It’s fine, it’s fine. I want you inside. Want you to fill me in here, so bad, Razor.” 

His eyes widen. Your desperation must reach him this time, because he nods. innocently. You’re thankful beyond words you’re on contraceptives. At this point, you think trying to use a condom would break you down.

“You just have to put it inside. But please go slowly, okay?” 

“Go slowly…won’t hurt you.” 

Razor sits up on his knees again, drawing your waist down towards him. Before he pushes into you, he lays his cock against your sex - pushing it between messy folds. His expression morphs, his jaw tensing as the head of his cock swells and throbs against your aching clit. It slides and slips so messily, pussy clinging to his hard length. You guide his cock towards your entrance while he leans forward over you. His palms are rough as they grab your hips, hands settling up under your knees. 

You can feel his cock as he rolls his hips slowly. Your nails dig into his back, indenting the skin as you cry out. It’s thick, intrusive as he pushes into your tight little hole. Even after opening you up, there’s an ache inside as the head stretches your pussy open. The raw drag of skin on skin as Razor pushes inside of you. You can feel him with every movement, your legs wrapped around his waist tight.

Razor has always had a limited vocabulary. He likes to speak in short sentences since it’s what he does best. His speech now is a lot more developed, but he still finds it troublesome. 

It stuns you when Razor's grip tightens and he swears under his breath - a single word, long and drawn out as his cock pushes into you deeply. 

“Fuck,” 

“R-razor?” 

“Feels good…feels so good. Want…move. Please.” 

“You can move, just let me hold onto you okay?” 

Razor tucks his head against your neck before he fucks you. In one smooth motion, he pulls himself out completely before shoving himself back in. It’s as gentle as he can go, but you can practically feel him shaking above you. How his whole being urged him to fuck you llike an animal. The desperation rolls off of him in waves, his own hands gripping tighter as he slowly finds a rhythm to fuck you in. Clumsy thrust that turns into careful calculated ones as you urge him to go deeper. 

“Deep,” Razor pants against your neck, his breath tickling your skin. His voice is a low growl as his hips snap up to meet the back of your thighs with each thrust. Your bed creaks each time he moves, the frame knocking against the wood “I’m deep inside you,” 

“Razor,” You sneak a hand between your bodies, clumsily toying with your clit - pleasure ruining your every thought “Harder. Give it to me harder.” 

As soon as the words leave your mouth, Razor gives up on trying to hold himself back. He fucks you with nearly reckless abandon, an impressive amount of strength and weight behind each thrust. His dick pushes in and out of you hard and fast in the most unromantic way. You can feel it all the way up to your throat. It makes the back of legs and and your lower half feel tingly. Your head is blank, nothing but spotted white in your vision. You blink them open to look at Razors face. 

He’s biting at his lower lip hard, focusing all of himself on his thrusts. He’s enduring it well. Your insides clench, a fluttery sensation starting to build up between your legs. You can feel it in your belly, the knot starting to untie. 

Razor is starting to feel it too him. 

“Inside so, ngh - hot.  S-something coming, going to—” 

“A little more. Gonna cum soon, Razor. Feels so good, you make me feel so good.” 

Your mindless praise makes him whimper. A soft noise that echoes through you. You repeat it over and over, in a high voice like you’d praise a puppy. Razor takes it in beautifully, trying so hard not to succumb to his own desires. He restrains despite how hard and how fast and how deep he’s fucking you. You know it’s not easy. 

“I’m gonna c-cum, Razor,” You say, at the very edge “Cum with me. It’s okay, you can let it out.” 

You cum hard. Harder than you think you ever have in your life, then you’ve ever been able to manage by yourself. The sensation hits all at once, like falling through the sky, you can feel the clouds pushed away by the weight of you coming down through. Your insides tighten and tense one last time before everything releases at once, and waves of the aftershock leave your pussy fluttering. You’re washed with pure euphoria, crying out Razor’s name as you cum. 

Razor is quick to follow you. Your own orgasm seems to drive him over the edge, and he cums deep inside. He muffles his cry by biting into your shoulder, groaning as hot seed spills into your cunt with a harsh stutter of hips. He fucks into your pussy, soft and messy before bottoming out and nearly collapsing on top of you. 

It takes you a long minute to catch your breath well enough to speak. 

You rub Razors back soothingly before you do. He lifts his head, eyes heavy as he looks at you. 

“Wow,” He says, eyes wide and blown out. You can’t help but break out into a fight of laughter “Love you…”

“I love you too, Razor.”

“Wanna do it again,” Razor says, looking at you seriously “Can I?” 

You feel a pulse of warmth through your whole body before nodding. 

“Uhm. Yes. Just give me a break first, okay?” 

[koiiiiijiii]

i accidentally posted this without any text, that’s why im reuploading it, like this, sorry!!

so, sure bby!! will try to figure out something for them

also i think this part ideally fits with latest chapters, bc it was mostly about sabbath!! and wb fandom is finally knowns Joker real name Hajun…so cute!!

you know what else is cute? my bday today😤😤

☾ all characters aged up ☾

*ੈ✩‧₊ sabbath & monster crew nasty/perverted habits pt.2🍐 🐇🧴

COQUETTE!Joker/Hajun

hardly sure that joker shyly would ask you to wear some bows and lace, he definitely have thing for coquette, fight me. seeing you under him, wearing cute skirt, or pink top with open neck and collarbone with lace collar, mix it and add some snow white leg warmers? don’t even think about opportunity to walk next morning.

JERK OFF!Hyeok

mentioned in my really first headcanons that hyeok is pervert who jerk off on random girls who he saw on street, if he found them hot, like bitch do this by memory (he is too lazy to search some porn to turn himself on) so he have good imagination. when he saw you in league of street, wearing your sport uniform he was so grateful that he didn’t participate in competitions that day, his pants felt too tight suddenly.

EXHIBITIONIST!Wooin

wooin is up to everything. like everything. but his dirty secret? to fuck you when someone watches, like a boy/girl from your uni who had a crush on you. maybe share you with someone too (someone white or red haired preferably)

KNISMOLAGNIA!Monster/Deokbong

he can’t control himself when your touch is even a little bit feels like a tickle. it may seem strange, but he is very sensitive in certain places, for example in his back, and when you haven't dated yet, but were just friends, it was so hard for him to restrain himself when you hugged him and stroked his back... poor boy was immediately turned on.

FOOT FETISH!Gyuchan

do i even need to explain? gyuchan fascinated by your legs and foot, bonus points if you doing sport connected to extra load to legs, so firstly he would use massage for your legs as an excuse to touch it and feel. secondly you found yourself mostly in positions in sex where your legs are close to his face, like for example they laying on his shoulders and he stroking and kissing your ankles. when you had a talk he admitted that he had a foot fetish and honestly he was so ready for some jokes about foot fetishists.

[riririnnnn]

I tried choking myself like this and oh boy it was such an awful experience—it felt as if someone had placed a really heavy stone over my head Don't try it, not worth it at all, I promise. 0/10, wouldn't recommend.

To choke yourself to the point where saliva is pooling out of your mouth and for you to cough like an asthmatic person, your airway passage must be blocked which means that this dude was really going at it.

So, let's talk about him:

What Kaiser has for Isagi now isn't rivalry anymore, it has become a near obsession and keeping their ship aside, they actually have a pretty unique kind of relation—they both want to get ahead in the path of their soccer career and un/fortunately, they both just happen to be the best stepping stone for eachother right now.

Since the very first time Kaiser was introduced, he had made it clear that Isagi was some sort of a pawn for him to get ahead in his soccer career and that's what Ness also said here:

And Kaiser's words seemed to match Ness' words too:

And I don't blame Kaiser for choosing Isagi to be his rival.

You see, it's tough to truly understand how much impact Isagi's goal had in the BLLK universe. The investors and club owners were literally putting pressure on Noa to make Isagi play—defeating such a boy and proving that you are better than him is a perfect way for literally anyone to increase their value; it fits even well for Kaiser since they both are in the same age group too.

But, the recent chapters, especially after BM Vs Ubers match ended, confused me more. Royale Madrid/Re Al is said to be the strongest/best soccer club in the whole world in BLLK universe, so it indirectly means that Kaiser's value increased—it actually did increase though, about ¥20 millions and Ness' reaction perfectly sums what I want to say:

Kaiser achieved what he had came for in NEL to achieve.

However, we all know what his reaction was: he didn't care, all he cared was that he was inferior to Isagi.

...why?

Like, it just doesn't make sense. He got what he wanted. Besides, Kaiser has a value of ¥320M meanwhile Isagi is still behind Rin and Rin is himself behind Kaiser by ¥100M+! Further, every team has man-marked Kaiser right away! He is already perceived as some kind of threat by every opponent team, what more he wants? Is it some pride thing of boys that I don't understand?

It just feels.. weird.

If Kaiser were to be a real narcissist, then I don't think that he would've accepted so easily that Noa is better than him and that he can't compete against him.

The above statement sends me back to this again:

Chris words can be considered as something said just to provoke Kaiser which worked a bit too perfectly well. I don't know why, but the above panel seems much more important to the story, especially to his character when we glance at this panel:

Just.. what the heck is this guy's backstory!?

I must say that he is very well written and honestly, when Blue Lock Manga ends, Kaneshiro-san can literally make a spin-off of him and the Fandom will inhale it instantly. I wish Itoshi brothers had one too.

.

.

.

When NEL starts in the anime, I hope an official BLLKTV/BLLKTWT app gets launch. Istg it'll be a massive hit.

[f-t-e]

I started watching SUPERNATURAL in November 2020. I know, I know. My partner and I had been isolating alone since March. The timing felt right. I went though a wild amount of upheaval and trauma over the next year and SPN was there for me through it all. It was THE show at THE time and it kept me afloat when I needed it the most. Since November 2021 I've written just about 110,000 words of SPN fanfic, a number that seems unbelievable to me, and that too has been a real blessing to my creative life, no matter what haters say. (why didn't I write my own novels in that time? Because I have a hobby, Karen, and I love it.) And I've read about 500000x that much fanfic, which has been the biggest blessing of all. (ETA: oh right, if you want to read my fic, you can find my stuff here, I wrote a fic where Dean reads books. Lots of books.)

I know I'm a nobody in this fandom but I thought on this, our #DestielDay, I would submit my own humble rec list. I've curated this very deliberately: every fic here has just about 4000 hits or less (most under 3000) and all were published in 2020 or after. So, sort of a rec list for some lesser known and newer fics, something you maybe haven't stumbled on yet. Especially thank you to @jewishcharliebradbury, her rec lists gave me a place to start back in the day and I have tried to model the depth and quality they brought to their lists. I tried to link to everyone's tumblr, but if I missed one, let me know.

Most of all, thank you to everyone who has EVER created something for this fandom, from 2005 to 2023. I am so thankful and, honestly, honored to be among your number. You're not supposed to be cringe and say a show saved your life...but SUPERNATURAL saved me, it really did. See y'all when the movie/reboot drops, to quote Ryan Gosling in The Notebook: IT WASN'T OVER, IT STILL ISN'T OVER. And I'm glad.

-----

Finale Fix-It & S15 and Beyond

What The Moon Was Saying by Amiril (@runawaymarbles)

This is hands-down one of the coolest “Dean Rescues Cas from the Empty” fics I have ever read and the concept is brilliantly structured to mirror the literal and metaphorical things Dean needs to give up and let go to get free. Every scenario is very satisfying and they make sense, is there any better feeling? Dean is very open in this, but in a believable way that still has edges. And, oh, the reunion is so good. Plus all the family stuff. Just excellent, exactly what you want in a fic like this: lovely, well-written, smart, fulfilling, all the pieces clicking, the show but better.

Awake and Annoying by skycruise

I love the use and passage of time in this one, it has some real impact, and I love the way Dean gets into the Empty (so smart, fits just right) and what I REALLY love in this one is the way it lets Dean be really clear-eyed and honest about his relationship with Sam, both the strengths and the weaknesses. And the last line, very clever and moving inverse of one of fandom’s favorite things. 

Living the life you chose by allthismusic

THEEEEE post finale Sam Winchester-Outsider-POV this fandom needs. Sam is absolutely awesome in this, the most believable, loving, realistic mix of “I knew all along” and “I had no idea” versions of Sam, landing somewhere I think that’s really true and in character. It fills in and develops so many gaps and silences in what the show let Sam know in the absolute best way. Best Brother Sam is a weakness of mine and he really shines here, there for Dean in the best ways but also coming into his own, I love it so very much. (this author also has a very great 2022 Big Bang fic, hugely recommend that one too.)

your ear to the wound that whispers by EmandFandems (@lazarusemma)

Who doesn’t love a HANDPRINT FIC?!? And boy this is such a good one. It follows Dean and his thoughts on the handprint from the first touch all the way to fixing the finale and it simply buzzes with longing and desire, tenderness and rawness. It’s great insight in lot of ways into Dean’s journey. It’s short but fulfilling and oh that very perfect last line. (this author also has a lot of great Jupernatural content.)  

Somewhere Off in the Dark by magickastiel 

Another awesome fic that traces Dean’s shifting/growing feelings for Cas from when he shows up in his hotel rooms to a HEA fix it after canon. Dean, again, is handled so deftly in this one, his confusion and sorrow at all the times Cas is slipping away from him all the way through the things he won’t let himself know. He feels really true in this one, sharp and tender in the best Dean ways. Also it has an agonizingly romantic end, you love to end up there.

Pins and Feathers by theskywasblue (@buttherewasnogod)

This author has so many freaking good SPN fics, omg it was almost impossible to pick just one to include on this list. Go treat yourself with their entire list because there’s so much good stuff there! But this one, oh I am a sucker for a finale fix-it that lets Dean be this tender. While I LOVE fics where he just jumps right into Cas’s arms (and write them lol) I also feel like this is so true to Dean too: that “maybe I misunderstood, maybe I shouldn’t say anything, maybe he doesn’t still –” And on top of all that, it’s a “they go the beach” fic and it gets the details of it so right, sand in your toes and all. Tender, amazing slow-burn, real, hot, full of heart and longing and everything unspoken and just waiting. Very satisfying!

i loved you first by kalmialatifolia

A set of four short fics that create an entire world of feeling and emotion. These feel like little whispered stories told under the covers, very atmospheric. There’s one very sexy one, a haircutting one (so good) and they’re just intimate. All together a great set and did I mention they’re in the “Cas saves himself” genre which is mmmm an underrated treasure.

no other faith is light enough for this place by anonymous 

A fix-it fic that has a particularly unique and beautiful visual of both how and why Cas comes back. The mechanics behind it are fairly standard but the way this author creates the visual of it, the sheer emotion and force behind it and how it happens, it really stood out to me and stuck with me. It’s Dean being brave enough to really feel and the way that just blossoms – lovely, aching, full-tilt wonderful.

 no proof, one touch by TakeThisWaltz (@watchinghimrakeleaves)

One thing I absolutely cannot get enough of is fic where Cas is hiding out from Dean in heaven. It just hits. And the only thing better is Dean chasing him down and the WAY he does it in this fic, methodically and – well the method (sobs) it is so endearing and OBVIOUS and gives Dean a chance to shout in all the best ways. This one is just real sweet and kind of goofy and if they have to be in heaven, I want them to still be these same two dorks.

Stay by redbrickrose

This is a post S15x18 from Cas’s POV and I think it’s very true to where he would be in the moment of getting yanked out of the Empty: resigned, hesitant about what he has in front of him, still a little in shock. And then. And then. Sweet and simple and Dean gets a chance to say, say, say it. This author has a good post series AU and a lovely little spate of S15 codas, all good. And then wrote this in real-time in the week after 15x18 Despair and right before 15x19 Inherit the Earth aired (could you just sob over the possibilities?!) and then hasn’t wrote anything since and that’s a shame but, like, yeah I get it.

like a one-two punch by Muir_Wolf (@muirmarie)

Don’t you love a short fic that feels like it’s a whole novel? This goes AU after 14x20 Moriah but it is a truly delightful twist on how Chuck could’ve reacted there and it makes Dean sharp as a knife, which is one really resonant image woven through this fic. Great imagery here and so many clever solutions for the lazy plotting of S15, including simply one of my all-time favorites in any fic ever solutions to Cas’s deal (genius) and getting rid of Chuck. Brilliant like a puzzle box yet still full of so much fucking joy.

maybe i like pleasure pain by tothewillofthepeople (@kvothes)

The fact that this was written in October 2023 and is so agonizingly good fills my heart with joy and tells me Destiel will never die lol. Cas, in particular, is great in this – he’s having a hard time adjusting to being in a body and with all the fuzz of the world. I love fics where Cas struggles with coming back from the Empty and this uses a really unique approach to it: Cas facing sensory overload and not knowing how to feel but wanting it all. Lovely, hot, Dean is just right in this too.

Earlier Canon (pre S15)

Proverbs 13:12 by starlingcas (@angelcasendgame)

Many might say I am biased because Renu has beta’ed everything I have written in the SPN fandom and they can read my brain and make everything I write better. But it’s not just that. Renu has done something beautiful and delicate in this fic, which is about Dean and Cas getting trapped in a net together (forced proximity trope, yes please) and weaves a web of its own; pulling you in just as they are pulled together. This is set mostly in early S14 (before fixing the finale in the most heart-healing way) and captures that feeling so well. There’s so much that’s unsaid between them yet still conveyed and Renu absolutely nails that, along with the tender longing that was always there. This is a fic to relish.

you may tire of me (as our december sun is setting) by deludedfantasy

You know how the show just sometimes is like “uh so anyway uh then Cas…uh…left.” and it just doesn’t make one lick of sense? FINALLY FINALLY a fic where Dean says “I’ll go with you,” and then goes because he actually would do that. This is a post Tombstone fic so it is exactly where/when he WOULD go and it is tender and hesitant and aching in just all the ways it would be between the two of them at this time. It’s about needing to keep someone in sight, it’s about having another chance to say something so important, it’s slow and soft and just right for the characters in this place. I could read this one about 100 times.

the anatomy of flightless birds by cowlovely (@dollhousemary)

This fic is basically the way you feel when you get all cozy and snug underneath your favorite blanket. This is a domestic-life-in-the Bunker S9 fic where everyone behaves like they are in character and not just like they have to get Cas off screen because the writers panicked. You’ll just want to curl up in this fic and savor it the way you wrap your fingers around a hot beverage on a very cold day, there’s no better way to describe it.

virtue by JenTheSweetie

I think I’ve read this about 100 times and it still gets me everytime? It’s a five things fic about Dean and Cas hooking up and it’s all you’ve ever wished for. This is set in an amorphous S8 and it is not just agonizingly hot but also romantic and very funny. It feels really in character! Sam is hilarious, Dean is clueless but bowled over and letting himself be swept up, Cas is delighting in every second and smarter than he lets on and it ALL feels fated and lovely and sexy and just splendid. (this author only has 3 SPN fics but they are all so good and if you try sometimes, well you just might find is an absolutely brilliant deconstruction of Dean learning the differences between “needing” and “wanting.”)

Romance at the Motel 6 by shelia_amour 

This fic makes me feel like Stefon from SNL. This fic has everything: Cas and Sam pretending to be married, just the right amount of jealous Dean, Dean randomly pretending to be married to Cas, Dean realizing maybe this isn’t so fake after all, motel vibes, Cas in Dean’s clothes, Cas getting bee slippers. If you are not sold on this already, we are very different people. So good, aches just right. (set in a kind of “whenever” of canon, but I like to put it somewhere in S8.)

que sera sera by Purple_Starflower (@hauntedpearl)

The epitome of how fanfic unfolds for us all the things that COULD happen. You can’t PROVE to me Dean and Cas never snuck off to snuggle and feed Dean’s touch-starvation early in S13. I had to check when I finished because I just couldn’t believe this fic was under 4000 words because it feels so full of touch, longing, the things unspoken, and all the ways Dean was reaching, reaching, reaching. The best kind of ache, and everything by this author is lovely. 

the hard edge that you’re settling for by lesspopped (@trekkiedean)

This is some S10 Demon!Dean that made my stomach hurt and my heart ache and I absolutely loved it and I absolutely hated it and it all felt so REAL with who Demon!Dean was and could have been. There’s a TW for mildly dubious consent in this, but to me, Cas was so agonizingly true to who he was/where he was at this point in canon too. This fic is gloriously, claustrophobically intimate. I say unbearable because as a reader you know that this closeness, this intimacy, is what Dean wants/craves/deserves but can only give himself as a demon and the author does an exquisite job at getting all that across. Hurts so good! 

four of swords by sundryvillians (eurythmix) (@perenial)

Can the world ever have enough post 12x12 fic? The answer is, of course, no. Dean and Cas bake bread and in the soft space of creating something with their own hands, get so close to the words Cas said. It’s about healing and anger and making something just because you are so tired of everything breaking. If that alone isn’t enough to convince you, let me also throw in this is another one of those “possible off-screen moments in canon” that gives them something honest and tender and raw and it feels so very possible. 

Fifteen Prayers From the Faithless by koyas_cat

Short, achy, that sweet sting. A set of prayers for Cas from the beginning to the end, full of all the things Dean doesn’t let himself say outloud and just reflecting the changes in their connection over alllll the years. So good.

[lifblogs]

Better Late Than Dead

Fandom: The Bad Batch Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Pairing: Tech/Phee Word Count: 1268 Summary: Tech arrives on Pabu for the first time since he was rescued from Dr. Hemlock, and put his mind back together (mostly). A special someone is there waiting for him. AUTHOR'S NOTE: Disclaimer, I have PCS (Post-Concussion Syndrome) so this story could be a mess, it could be great. I don't know, but I tried, and I had fun. First story I've written since I hit my head. I am sooooo nervous about it for some reason. This fandom seems like nothing but kind, though. If you read it, thank you. READ ON AO3

Tech paused getting off the ramp. Once he stepped off onto Pabu he would no longer just be on the Marauder with his family. He would exist in a public space, with people who… might not understand, who would see him differently. He was different.

There were some stares from the crowd, but he couldn’t track all of them, faces blurring and disappearing as he watched. But maybe those eyes were still on him.

Subconsciously, he touched the back of his head, feeling the metal plate there that replaced part of his skull, felt the lines where his scalp had split, where either through injury or one of his many surgeries his brain had been exposed. His new and enhanced left eye (replacing the gouged one from Plan 99) searched the space before him frantically, but he tried to take in what the right saw first: bright, blue skies with white, puffy clouds; a calm ocean for kilometers on end; happy people in colorful clothing—survivors, every one of them. How could such a place exist when he’d been through such horrors in Hemlock’s dark labs? Now it was like this beautiful place only half-existed.

The beauty was what his right eye saw. The left one… He hadn’t had a chance to reprogram it yet. Most of what he saw through it was a dizzying array of heat signatures, structural integrities, and the best places to shoot a target. According to his eye, everyone was a target. This was all superimposed over his regular vision from his right eye. The confusing signals to his brain usually left him with the feeling as if his eyes were being scooped out (half a phantom pain and reminiscent of his real horrors), and it would throb up into his head. With the metal plate added in, he had more headaches than he could manage on most days.

Still feeling anxiety churning in his gut; cold, clammy fear gripping the back of his neck and stripping him bare, he held up his new datapad. Tech decided to do a quick check of his metabolic system, and the absorption levels of his various injected pain meds, and their half-lives. This was done through a chip implanted at the base of his skull. Unfortunately that had required an extra surgery, seeing as that hadn’t fit in the area where he’d needed his skull repaired.

His datapad beeped quietly, and a yellow bar showed up near the top. He’d need to re-inject his left hip soon.

Tech glanced up, the real galaxy around him becoming too real. Coming towards the ramp with a hesitant smile and shining eyes was Phee.

His heart suddenly seemed too big, blood somehow beating hard all across his torso, even as it crawled up his throat. Phee. He really had thought of her, even remembered one instance of Hemlock torturing him for mentioning her name. He shuddered, his mechanical left leg shifting in a way that seemed too obvious and inhuman to him.

Tech wasn’t the same.

Am I even Tech?

No, no. You’ve… you’ve been over this already. Done the work. I. Am. Tech.

And he had thought about Phee in what he had thought would be his last moments. He’d surprisingly had the time to think about a lot of people.

He’d thought about his last-minute realization, and he’d mourned what could have been. And now… there she was. Here he was. Pabu. Safety. Phee.

Tech took a deep breath, tried to swallow back his fear, and stepped down the ramp, all too aware of how he looked now. Feeling clumsy with this changed body, he struggled to put his datapad back on his belt. One last thing to put between this moment and the next, the inevitable.

Phee met him at the bottom of the ramp, letting him step off. For a moment the voices around them dimmed, but neither of them spoke.

Oh no, she’s horrified. She’s disgusted. She’s—

“You look different.”

Blunt, as always.

“Oh.”

“I think I like it.”

“You… do?” Tech asked, caught off guard as he usually was with her. (How could anyone script conversations with a flirtatious, bold pirate?)

She shrugged. Was she… crying?

Some of his vision blurred. His eye malfunctioning? No. His right one. He was crying.

Hesitantly, she touched his shoulder. Tech jumped a little, but let her warm, assuring touch stay there. He wondered what that hand felt like—strong, calloused.

“It’s you, isn’t it?”

Was this him? All these differences, and injuries, and modifications?

Well, he was still Tech, so he supposed that made the plate in his skull him, the chip, the cybernetic leg, and eye. Still… Tech. Just different. A new Tech.

“I suppose.” He was surprised to hear himself speak.

“Then of course I like it! But I have a bone to pick with you.”

Tech almost backed away, startled, as her finger prodded against his chest.

What bone?

What—Oh!

“Seven months?!” she went on, voice raised and rough. “I don’t see you for seven months?! And all I could get out of Mr. Face Tattoo was that you were ‘indisposed.’”

“Sorry I’m… late,” he got out, as if that somehow summed up everything that had changed his life, that had even affected hers.

That’s when a sob left Phee, and her tears spilled, and she cupped Tech’s scarred face in her hand. It was calloused, just like he’d thought it’d be. Something about her touch was reassuring and invigorating all at once.

And it was kind.

Tech hadn’t realized how much he’d needed someone outside his family to support him until that moment. It left him weak in his right knee, and he might have trembled.

Phee sobbed again, and then got out with a smile bright enough to rival the stars, “But still—better late than dead, I always say.”

Tech held her hand against his face for a second, marveling at the feeling, her words. Then he wasn’t sure who pulled who into an embrace, but suddenly she was flush against him, her heart beating fast, chest moving with her sobs, a wild scent of ocean salt, island fruit, and some kind of warm spice surrounding him. With his chin tucked against her shoulder, and her head resting against his he learned her hair was a softness he’d never felt before.

“Though of course you had to lose one brown eye on me,” she joked. He was surprised when it didn’t hurt, not from her.

“I’ll try not to lose the other one.”

“You’d better. What am I supposed to call you now? ‘Brown Eye’ doesn’t sound romantic.”

“We could… make it romantic,” he ventured, voice a soft murmur against her.

Phee laughed, and pulled back, patting his cheek. “Honey, I’m not sure you know what romance is.”

For the first time since Plan 99, months and months ago, Tech laughed—something he’d thought he would never be capable of again. And, he thought, maybe he’d like to do it again. With Phee.

“I’m smart,” he assured her, watching as she wiped away her tears, wishing he could do it for her. He went on, surprising himself, “I’m sure I can learn.”

Phee took his hand in hers, and Tech was startled by how much he enjoyed that her hand was smaller than his.

“Well, come on then,” she said, starting to drag him along, towards society as a whole new person. “You’re gonna have a lot of studying to do.”

Tech smiled, somehow, as he followed her, leaving just a little bit of that dark lab behind him.

[copperbadge]

If its not too personal could you talk about what was the inspiration for Michaelis? He's got a lot of depth to him, especially for what could have been a one off character in the background after Fete. Also the way he mourns but carries on really resonates with me in Jes.

Oh sure! I mean, on the one hand it is quite personal but it's a kind of personal I really enjoy sharing. :D Michaelis began life as the Standard Hallmark Parent -- you see them a lot in the movies, the parent who is

1. Kinda grouchy

2. Usually pushing their kid slightly too hard in slightly the wrong direction (with the best of intentions)

3. Often a widow/er

4. Practically a cameo designed to stress out the lead, but easily attractive enough that they could be romantic lead themselves in the sequel.

There are actually several Hallmark films where the over-sixty characters are either the supporting romance in a one-off film or the main romance of a sequel film. (The Wedding Veil films, which despite their flaws are actually very enjoyable, have a Michaelis-like character for the mother of the male lead in the first movie, and she then becomes the major supporting romantic lead in the fourth movie.)

By the time I got to Michaelis talking to Eddie at the end of the script for Fete, I'd grown to really like him. When I adapted the script to a novel, I liked him even more. I thought that I could do a sequel with him getting jolted out of himself a bit -- and I was encouraged by how many people liked him in the initial read through. The main inspirations for the actual plot of Infinite Jes were, one, Gregory jokingly suggesting he do a podcast, and two, Michaelis's defensive dismissal of Gregory's question about what he's done for companionship since Miranda passed.

Over the course of writing Infinite Jes, he came to be a collection of themes I've explored or wanted to explore, sometimes themes I knew I wasn't skilled enough to handle yet. The core of him is based on a professor I worked with as a student; the confidence that occasionally tips into arrogance, the keen intellect that likes to take things apart, the ability to look at some toxic family traits and decide "RIP but I'm different" and be a present, nurturing masculine figure, all come from that professor, who had a huge impact on me.

But I have also been fascinated for decades now by a certain kind of character in fiction, someone who has had a devastating loss and keeps going, even if they aren't driven by something like revenge. Profound grief is difficult and fascinating for me, and I finally felt capable of exploring that fully, perhaps because the pressure on romance novels is a bit lower at times.

And honestly, a lot of him is me, processing the fact that I am aging in fandom. I'm older (44) than the oldest person I knew in fandom (38) when I joined it at the age of 14. I have, for lack of a better word, a position in fandom, a status, that affords me certain perks and requires of me certain obligations. Not to call myself elected king of fandom ("I didn't vote for him!") but the duty I feel to fandom, both as a culture that raised me and a found family, is very similar.

Most of my characters contain some of me, but Michaelis and Jerry contain far more of me than most, perhaps because I'm in a place to do some reflection. Michaelis -- intelligent, experienced, hopefully a mentor, but also lonely and detached at times -- is who I'm coming to grips with being; Jerry, the charming fuckup with power but no real clue how to use it, who is doing his best to grow up a little later than a lot of his peers and figure out how disability fits into his identity, is who I still see myself as.

So yeah -- I find Michaelis incredibly fun and compelling to write for, and I think that's because I had hit a skill level in my work where I could combine a lot of tropes and themes into one character and use him to explore why I enjoy them so much. But he definitely began life as the Hallmark Widowed Dad. :D Well, there are worse origin stories.

[self-proclaimed-chaotic-good]

He's Not My Boyfriend | Eddie Munson x Reader

Prompt: Popular

Words: 2108

Fandom: Stranger Things

A/N: Hints at Chrissy’s eating disorder. Sort of redemption for Jason, I guess. He irritated me whenever he was on screen and all I’m saying is that someone should have smacked some sense into him a long time ago. Jason is low-key scared of Reader here and if he don't watch out, reader will steal Chrissy from him lol. Reader is 18 yo here.

Summary: Despite hanging out with the likes of Chrissy Cunningham, your eyes were always drawn to Eddie Munson from across the room.

-

You always thought that social hierarchies in school were arbitrary for the longest time. You’ve seen older kids who were so full of themselves, that they were so important, yet once they were released into the real world, everything fell flat. No one cares that you were high school royalty or the captain of a varsity team or the cheerleading squad. Those who are so used to having things handed to them won’t survive. 

For a while, you were considered one of the nerds, the weird outcast that sat in the back and spoke only when spoken to. It was a shock to people when they saw you speaking to Chrissy Cunningham so casually. In fact, she walked up to you, smiling as she told you about cheerleading practice and the hype behind the upcoming game. People would stop and stare, only moving when you or Chrissy eyed them. Because of this, you were in the middle. Not quite a freak, not quite popular.

You were sharing your lunch with Chrissy, knowing that she wouldn’t eat much food from her plate, but she felt better when it was you offering it. Jason was apprehensive about your friendship with her at first, but after him and Chrissy had an extremely passive aggressive argument at a diner that ended with her storming out, you had to drag Jason to the side and make him realize that she was struggling with something and he needed to be open-minded and understanding. 

They talked and made up with Jason supporting her and encouraging her to eat. You even heard from Chrissy that he stood up to her mom when they were eating dinner at her place. If you hadn’t threatened to smack some sense into him, he didn’t know what would have happened.

Your eyes drifted over to the designated Hellfire Club table like it always did every lunch, seeing the leader of the pack move around animatedly. Chrissy nudged your shoulder and gave you a knowing look, raising an eyebrow as she took a big bite from an apple. You shook your head, looking back just in time to see Eddie Munson climbing on the table.

“Your boyfriend’s at it again,” she whispered.

“He’s not my boyfriend,” you protested, making a point to turn away to down your Coke and immediately regretting it. You felt it bubbling in your chest and you quickly tried to dampen the noise with a hand over your mouth as you burped.

Chrissy let out a fit of laughter, pushing your shoulder as she threw her head back. Jason looked over and smiled at her. Before, she would be more reserved, more prim and proper, at school. Holding herself back from fully expressing herself and shying behind her hand and a mask that had been crafted from years of scrutiny and judgment from her mother. She became stronger and showed more of her true self and it encouraged him to do the same. He didn’t know that he could fall in love all over again.

His attention was snapped away as Eddie started shouting to all the cliques at the school, cupping his hands around his mouth to amplify his already loud voice. Jason let out an exasperated sigh, his eyes landing on you as you looked up at Eddie with a fond smile.

“- And a game where you toss balls into laundry baskets!” Eddie shouted, pointedly staring at Jason and the rest of the basketball team.

Jason jumped from his seat. “What did you say?”

Eddie stuck his tongue out and made devil horns with his fingers, making his table snicker. It certainly made you giggle seeing how it ruffled the basketball team’s feathers. They really needed to be put in their place. Eddie’s gaze dropped down to you, his smirk shifting into a smile. He winked before striding away, jumping down and scaring one of the teachers.

“Prick,” Jason muttered, sitting back down. “I don’t know how you can stand him.”

“It’s not that bad,” you said with a nonchalant shrug.

“Yeah, sure.”

-

Hawkins High had finally won a championship game, all thanks to Lucas Sinclair. The team lifted him up as they celebrated, the whole court roaring in cheers. You were clapping along, enjoying Sinclair’s underdog moment. It was all getting too much for you as the students in the stands were surging over to the basketball team to join in with the celebration. You snuck out, sucking in a deep breath of fresh air.

Without knowing it, you ended up next to the main campus building, leaning against the wall and looking out across at the gymnasium. People began to spill out, still high in their victory. Not long after, the double doors of the main building bursted open, the members of the Hellfire club walking out and basking in their own victory. Eddie was the last one, closing up the door behind the group. He finally spotted you, shooting you a curious look.

“Hawkins won, if you care,” you said.

“I don’t,” he said shortly.

“Well, Sinclair won it for us. Buzzer beater,” you continued, “He was really beat up about missing the campaign, but this game meant a lot to him, too.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

You shrugged. “He loves this game. Dungeons and Dragons, right? It was funny to watch the confusion on everyone’s faces when he tried to explain how the game worked. Granted, most of them came from religious families, so he might as well have been explaining a satanic ritual to them. I hope you guys don’t exclude him because of this.”

Eddie’s eyes narrowed as he crossed his arms. “You were the one giggling at lunch. What do you think? You think DnD is a satanic cult, too?”

You huffed out a laugh, looking up to see Lucas eyeing his friends with sadness and longing. They were pointedly ignoring him, talking ecstatically about the session they just had. You remembered the glint in his eyes, his excited hand gestures as he told the story of an old campaign, about their run-ins with a demogorgon and having a TPK after stumbling into a beholder’s lair. 

You always had a soft spot for him, knowing that he just wanted to fit in when he first joined the basketball team. Over time, his gaze usually locked onto you as he spoke about DnD, knowing that the others didn’t care or would criticize it. He even asked you once to join the Hellfire club, but you always held it off. Why can’t he play both basketball and DnD?

“I think it sounds fun,” you said, smiling at Eddie.

His eyebrows shot up in surprise. The kids were calling out to him to hurry up and drive them home, but he simply waved him off. When he realized how serious you were, he grinned, stepping closer. When you didn’t budge, he took another step, relishing how flustered you look while refusing to move.

“We just finished a campaign, but if you wanna do a one-shot…?” He let the question hang in the air, tilting his head.

“Sounds cool,” you said, swallowing. “Can I bring Chrissy?”

He blinked, stepping back. You immediately missed his body heat and refrained from pouting. “Chrissy Cunningham? Queen of Hawkins High?” he asked in disbelief.

“Yeah, and if I play my cards right, I can also get Jason, too. He and some of his teammates owe me anyway. If you want, I can also get a cheerleader or two to come.”

“Bullshit.” He didn’t think that you were the type to stoop so low and prank him like this. He always saw you as an anomaly, a neutral entity. Were you really someone that bought into that social conformity bullcrap?

“Well, that sounded like a tall order, but I still think I can get Chrissy to come with me,” you insisted, regretting not taking Lucas up on his offer the first time to play with them.

“Lucas?” You heard Jason call out.

You turned away from Eddie and saw Lucas making his way towards his friends. The tall boy with the shaggy black hair spotted him and turned his back towards him. Even from this distance, you could see Lucas’s face fall, but he pressed on. Jason and two other teammates followed after him, Chrissy trailing behind in case something happened.

Eddie stiffened as the jocks approached, striding over to the group and stood in front of them protectively. “What do you guys want?” he demanded.

“None of your business, freak,” one of the jocks hissed.

You glared at him, the tension in your posture not lost on Jason. He wacked his teammate and gestured towards Eddie. “Come on, man. None of that,” he said.

Lucas ignored them, trying to break through his friends’ walls. “Guys, we can go and watch a movie or something,” he offered. “Erica, you can come with us, too. I won’t tell mom and dad that it’s a horror movie.”

“You sure you don’t want to get drunk and celebrate with your new friends?” Dustin asked bitterly.

Lucas looked over to you for help. You sighed, stepping up. “Chrissy, you wanna watch a movie with us?”

Her face lit up. You had gotten her into binge watching movies, particularly horror ones that many were surprised about. She never liked those rowdy parties despite Jason’s numerous attempts to make her feel comfortable. It wouldn’t last long, though. Eventually, he’d break away from her to drink with his friends. She insisted that he was getting better and drinking less, but now he respected her decision to not go. She was thankful for that, but at times she wished she just had some quality time with him.

“Sure,” Chrissy said, wrapping an arm around yours. She looked up at Jason with innocent eyes. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Don’t get too carried away tonight, okay?”

“I… wait, Chrissy. It’s a horror movie, though.”

She nodded. “Yeah, I know. I love horror.”

He gaped, trying to find a way to respond to that. “Sinclair, you sure you don’t wanna celebrate with us? You’re our star, after all. It’s your choice,” he said, adding the last part quickly.

Lucas looked back at his friends who were pretending to ignore him. “I’m sure,” he said with finality. “Have fun.”

Jason nodded. “Come on, guys,” he said, then turned to Chrissy, “Uh, be safe. Love you.”

“Love you, too,” Chrissy said softly, catching the kiss that he blew at her.

You stuck your tongue out in disgust before pulling away. Jason rolled his eyes, walking back with his friends to his car. You turned to Eddie who had been silent during most of the exchange.

“You coming?” you asked hopefully.

“Why? You paying?”

“They owe me,” Lucas said, turning to you, “You promised you’d take me to a Rated R horror movie.”

“Did I?” you said, feigning ignorance. 

“Dude.”

-

The group of you took over a whole row at the movie theater with you sitting between Eddie and Chrissy. You propped a medium sized popcorn bag between you and Chrissy, saying nothing as she grabbed a handful and popped it in her mouth one at a time. You felt eyes on you and turned to see Eddie looking.

“What?” you whispered.

“You were serious about playing DnD?” he asked.

You nodded. “Why not?”

“Okay, cool. Cool, cool, cool,” he muttered, his leg bouncing in his seat. “Um, we could -”

“Shh,” Dustin hissed.

Eddie rolled his eyes, turning his eyes back to the screen. “We’ll sort it out later.”

You saw movement from the corner of your eye, a flash of green and yellow as Jason quietly made his way to the seat next to Chrissy. You nudged the popcorn bag to her, silently telling her she could share it with him. She grinned, moving it over to the armrest between them. Eddie took his popcorn bag from his lap and placed it on the armrest between the two of you, giving you a small smile.

A jumpscare popped up on screen, a rain of popcorn falling from rows of seats. There was a startled cry covered by a series of coughing. You looked over and saw Jason hitting his chest as he tried to dislodge a popcorn from his throat. Violent violins started to play, drawing your attention away. You clutched onto Eddie’s arm instinctively as the tension in the movie grew. He grinned, moving his arm until your hands were clasped together. He lifted your hand and kissed your knuckle with a wink before turning his attention back to the screen.

Yeah, he wasn’t your boyfriend… yet.

[jerzwriter]

The Exes: Trystan & Carolina Edition

Fandom old-timers may remember this template from the summer of 2022 (or was it 2021?); it was created by @jamespotterthefirst as a tool to help us delve into our characters' histories a bit more. Since I plan on expanding my HC for Trystan and Carolina in the near future, so I pulled it out, and once again, it really helped! (Thanks, Bree!). Relationships should never define us, but our actions in and surrounding them say a lot about who we are, and if we let it, they teach us about ourselves. Further, the way people treat us absolutely impacts us, sometimes temporarily, sometimes for good. So, I think exploring helps us get to "know" our characters better.

I highlighted 6 exes for both Trystan and Carolina. I imagine they had many more dalliances, flings, and one-night stands between them, but these are relationships that shaped them in some way - for better or worse - and played a part in bringing them to where they are today as individuals.

I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed creating it.

Dahlia Aceves: Dahila grew up in the same Bronx neighborhood Carolina did, but they only met at 16 because they attended different schools. They became fast friends when Dahlia transferred to Carolina's high school. Dahlia was a bit closed off from others, and while she was generally liked, she didn't have a "clique" or fully fit in. Carolina was similar in those regards, and that drew them to one another. Shortly thereafter, their relationship also became sexual but neither had any desire to be in a relationship, so their friends-with-benefits arrangement began and remained on and off for nearly a decade. Everyone knew there was "something" between them, but no one dared to pry. At times, Dahlia was a fixture at Carolina's place, and she still pops by to see Tommy to this day. While neither woman even envisioned a "serious" relationship together in the future, they both thought (to different degrees) that their arrangement might just go on the way it had indefinitely. (Of course, it didn't). Carolina still sees Dahlia around the neighborhood, and they're friendly but not exactly friends. Dahlia never warmed up to Trystan and she tends to ignore him or give him an attitude when she bumps into him. (FC: Lee Rodriguez)

Marcos Candella: Carolina cannot remember a time when she didn't know Marcos. They played on the streets together as kids, went to school together from K-12, and always had each other's backs. When her father was murdered, Marcos checked in on Carolina daily, dropping off some of her favorite treats prepared especially for her by his mom. Their connection was always platonic, but that changed briefly after HS. Carolina was confused about her sexuality. She always believed she was bisexual, but at that point in time, she had only been with other women and felt like she couldn't fully make that determination unless she gave men a shot, too. Also, she also couldn't understand why she enjoyed sex and comradery with partners but couldn't form a romantic attachment to anyone, so she decided to try dating Marcos. The physical attraction was real, as was their long-established bond of friendship, so it was much more than a meaningless fling. When they reached the 6-month mark, Marcos asked her if she felt they had a future, and she said only as friends. She was happy to see he was relieved about her answer. They are still friends to this day and always have each other's backs. They usually forget this brief part of their life together ever happened. (FC: Ismael Cruz Cordova)

Josh Bowlan: After graduating from Hostos Community College, Carolina began working on her bachelor's degree in criminal justice at John Jay College in Manhattan. It was the first time she was outside of her Bronx bubble on a daily basis, and that changed her life drastically. Her on-again-off-again thing with Dahlia was in an off spot after the two women had a big spat, and Carolina was 100% single when she started at John Jay. Josh was the guy everyone wanted to date, and when he pursued Carolina, focusing all his attention on her, it was a bit intoxicating. Despite a little arrogance, he was a good guy and treated Carolina very well, even though they were far from a perfect match. She was still confused about why she couldn't "feel" the same feelings her friends did when it came to relationships, so she mostly played along because she didn't want to feel different. She liked Josh; she enjoyed his friendship, the intimacy, the sex, but that butterfly, I need you and never want to be without you feeling... it just never came for her. Josh sensed it but tried to ignore it. He assumed it would happen in time. Just shy of their one-year "anniversary," Josh stopped by Carolina's place unexpectedly and found her with another woman. He was furious that she was "cheating" on him; she reminded him that they never once said they were exclusive, so she hadn't done anything wrong, but Josh felt it was just "understood." Hurt, he broke things off, and they only saw each other when their paths crossed at school, where things were contemptuous between them. Most people "sided" with Josh, though Carolina's real friends had her back. (FC: Logan Schroyer)

Kayla (Kai) Sato: After Josh, Carolina was pretty certain she wanted nothing to do with relationships. She and Dahlia started up again; she had many short flings and ONS, but for years, relationships were a no-no, and she ran anytime a lover suggested they take things further. That changed a little when she met Kai at a fundraiser during Pride. The two women had many friends in common and were passionate about similar causes. Carolina was drawn to Kai's creative nature, and Kai found Carolina's practicality settling. They started a passionate affair, and Carolina began to think the infatuation she was feeling could be something more, but for Kai, there was no confusion. She was head-over-heels for Carolina from the start. When she told her that she loved her, Carolina chose to be honest. She explained she cared for her and enjoyed being with her, but love wasn't in the equation, and she wasn't even sure it ever could be. Kai said that was fine. She insisted it would come in time, and until then, she "had enough love for both of us." Carolina told her she couldn't make any promises, but Kai chose to live in denial. A few months later, Kai asked Carolina about becoming exclusive, and when Carolina declined, Kai was furious. Shortly after that, Carolina ended things, knowing they wanted very different things. (FC: Karen Fukuhara)

Raul Montes: Enter Raul. Raul was one of Carolina's father's best friend's sons, and they had known each other forever. He also lived in the Bronx as a child but moved away for college and never came back. Six years her senior, Carolina was only 12 when he moved away, and neither gave each other any thought. When Raul moved back to NYC for a career opportunity, he settled on the Upper West Side of Manhattan but would visit his family in the Bronx several times a month. It was on one of those trips when he spotted Carolina, who was in the middle of a spat with a street vendor who was trying to rip her elderly neighbor off. Raul's interest was piqued, and they began talking. When he asked her on a date, she felt something and accepted. It was only in retrospect that she realized that feeling was solely because Raul had a connection to her father, and that was something she desperately craved. Raul was 30 and wanted to find a wife and settle down... and the thought of that alone terrified Carolina, but then again... he knew her Dad. He loved her Dad. Blinded by this, she wanted to see if she could make it work. By this point, Carolina knew she was demiromantic, and when Raul wouldn't slow down the relationship escalator, she explained this to him. If he wanted things to work, he'd have to be patient. She wasn't going to jump into anything just to satisfy him. Raul didn't even know what demiromantic meant, so he did some "research", but ended up mostly on information that suited his needs. On their next date, he told Carolina that he had looked into it, and she was honestly impressed, thinking he cared enough to try to learn more and understand her better, but those hopes were quickly dashed. He told her his "research" found there was really no such thing as being demiromantic. Obviously, she just had commitment issues stemming from her father's murder. He encouraged her to get more "help" so they could move forward. Not wanting to make a scene in public, Carolina smiled curtly and attempted to change the subject, knowing this was their last date. But when Raul didn't take the hint and kept pushing the issue, Carolina told him he was an ass. He smugly replied, "No, I'm not Carolina. You're just confused." She proceeded to pour a pitcher of sangria over his head as a string of Spanish curses fell from her lips, and she walked out, never to see him again. (FC: Anthony Ramos)

Daphne Miller: After Raul, Carolina went into a serious "fuck relationships, fuck people, I want none of this" period. Sex and her friendships more than satisfied her need for intimacy, and she had no desire for anything more. One of her lovers was Daphne, a fellow detective in the NYPD. They worked well together... on cases and in bed and in life. Their shared passion for their jobs, the NY Yankees, and just living the best life they could brought them closer. Daphne loved Carolina very much and would have pursued more with her, but Carolina was upfront about her wishes, and Daphne respected her boundaries. While they were together, Daphne, who was polyamorous, moved in with another one of her partners, but her affair with Carolina continued as it had before. But when Carolina was forced out of the NYPD, it caused tensions in their relationship, eventually leading to its end. At the time, Carolina felt Daphne was being disloyal to her; in hindsight, she can tell that Daphne was just in a terrible position and trying to make the best of it. They had no contact for a long time after their split, but in time, they became casual friends again, sometimes even going on double dates where Daphne often challenged Trystan to drinking match-ups, which she almost always won. (FC: Kim Delaney)

Irena Baciu: As the heir apparent, Trystan was expected to court women from the finest families in Europe and find a suitable wife as soon as his formal studies ended at seventeen. His lack of interest in doing so was of little consequence to his family. After having a bevy of lovers, both public and in secret, he and Irena came up with a pact. A wealthy heiress from a traditional family herself, she was in a similar situation, so they pretended to court while secretly seeing others as well. It got their family off their backs, and the tabloids got a "darling" couple to focus on. It was a win-win. But, they found that they enjoyed each other's company, so their ruse turned into a no-strings relationship. They both knew it wasn't going to last, but they enjoyed it while it did. They remained friends, and Irena was among those who always believed in Trystan and stood by him after Juliana's death. They're still friends to this day and she totally shipped Trystan and Carolina. (FC: Anastasia Kuchinskaya)

Juliana Georgescu: When Trystan refused to find a suitable bride on his own, his family took matters into their own hands and arranged a political marriage with Juliana. It was good for their families and good for Drakovia. Trystan didn't have the will to fight it; if he was going to be stuck in a loveless marriage, he could do worse than his childhood friend, Juliana. They had known each other their whole lives, and he believed they were still friends. He didn't know that Juli had been having a secret affair with his half-brother, Vasili, and she believed Trystan to be a hedonistic, self-entitled lout. Still, she accepted her fate as his future wife because she felt it would be best for Drakovia and would allow her to enact positive changes in the nation. As time progressed, she got to know Trystan better and discovered he wasn't the man she thought he was. Under Juli's influence, Trystan matured and began to take his responsibilities more seriously, and in time, the two fell madly in love with one another. The engagement was no longer solely a political match, and the two looked forward to marriage, starting a family, and ruling Drakovia as husband and wife until that fateful night. Heartbroken, guilt-ridden, and devastated over his true love's death, Trystan was forced into exile and began a new life in New York. (FC: Isla Fisher)

Daniel Berger: When Trystan's abject depression over Juliana's death morphed into plain old depression, Trystan chose to soothe his pain with a hedonistic lifestyle. He didn't believe he was worthy of love, so living the life of excess expected of a rich playboy suited him well. Daniel attended one of Trystan's lavish parties, and the attraction between the two was instant. Their passionate love affair began that very night, and before long, Daniel had a key to the prince's apartment - with strict rules about what days he could use them. It was all about sex and fun at first, but Daniel was a sensitive soul and could sense the pain Trystan was in. He was there for him, and his tenderness, warmth, and understanding soothed Trystan's mind, body, and soul. Before long, they were exclusive. But Trystan was not out yet, so their love had to remain a secret to most. Just shy of a year after dating, Daniel was offered a lucrative position in Paris. Knowing Trystan couldn't leave the States, Daniel told him he'd turn it down in an instant if they had a future, but Trystan wasn't prepared to be open about his sexuality. Further, Trystan still didn't feel like he deserved real love, and he knew he might not be able to give Daniel what he so richly deserved, so they parted tearfully but amicably and remain close friends to this day. (FC: Chris Salvatore)

Augustine "Gus" Riccio: Trystan let Daniel go, but his loss impacted him more than he had anticipated; he found himself sad and lonely. Most of his nights were spent with a bottle of whisky and memories of Juliana and Daniel; he was beginning to spiral. That's when Gus stepped in. One of Manhattan's best-known party planners, he made himself indispensable to the wealthy prince. Planning one huge bash after another. Their business arrangement quickly turned into a personal one, and Trystan allowed himself to believe it might be real. Eight months after they began dating, Trystan received an envelope containing compromising photos of him and Gus. The sender threatened to out Trystan unless he transferred a large sum of money to an offshore account. Using his connections, Trystan found out that Gus, who was pretending to be outraged by the blackmail, was actually the one behind it. With proof in hand, Trystan tossed him to the curb and threatened to make his life unbearable if he went to the press. (FC: John Mayer)

Alicia Porter: Trystan was done—more than done at this point. Worried about him, his sister Marguerite began dragging him everywhere she went, including plenty of fashion shows. At one such show, he was introduced to Alicia, one of the newer models, and sparks flew. Trystan made it clear, he wasn't looking for love, just a lover and sometime companion, and Alicia was fine with that. They partied, traveled, and slept together; the fun and levity were just what Trystan needed. Six months after they met, Alicia told Trystan she was pregnant and planned to have the child. He wasn't thrilled but wasn't about to back away from his responsibility. He suggested Alicia move in with him, and that they should try to see if their relationship could be more for the sake of the child. But, at minimum, they could raise their child together. Unfortunately for Alicia, her acting skills weren't as good as she believed, and before long, Trystan realized she wasn't pregnant at all. She had been hoping for a lump sum payment to "take care" of the non-existent "situation" and go away. Of course, they were over at that point. (FC: Millie Lewis)

Lucas Bernard: After Gus and Alicia, our poor prince was 150% completely done. He trusted precious few people, but among those few were his good friend Lucas. He met Lucas years before when he first moved to NYC. Lucas was kind enough to show him around and let him know he had a friend in his new hometown. Their friendship had deepened over the years, and Lucas was there for him after Daniel and Gus, and he was there for him again after Alicia. Their long talks led to the two men developing deeper feelings for each other and they embarked on a very close friends-with-benefits relationship. Lucas wasn't interested in settling down with anyone, and Trystan wasn't interested in anything more at that time. While neither expected the relationship to last forever, that doesn't mean they didn't take it seriously. It was filled with trust, kindness, compassion, and love. It was during this period that Trystan found the strength to be open about being bisexual. The two men briefly discussed more of a future together, but neither took the conversation too seriously. After about a year, they decided to remain just friends, but Lucas had helped Trystan heal and realize everyone wasn't to be mistrusted; there were still genuine people in the world. Lucas has since moved to LA, so they don't see each other as often as they might like, but they still consider each other dear friends and will always be a part of each other's lives. He and Carolina get along famously. She teases that she only adores Trystan a little more than Lucas. (FC: Keiynan Lonsdale)

Carolina would gladly save any of her exes - even Raul, who she doesn't care for one bit; she's just not that kind of person. But she took the assignment seriously and limited it to one. She chose Marcos because he's been a friend since they were children and has been there for her even in her darkest days.

Trystan may no longer be with Daniel or Lucas, but he considers them to be two of the most important people in his life, so it was an easy answer (though he wouldn't leave Irena out to die either!)

They both dislike Raul the most of Carolina's exes, while Trystan dislikes Gus and Alicia equally; Carolina gives an edge to Gus.

Carolina is still friendly-ish with Dahlia too, but since she can't stand Trystan, it causes some friction.

Who the family liked the most was a no-brainer for Trystan. After all, they didn't even know about most of his lovers. It was slightly more difficult for Carolina to answer, as she hadn't been terribly serious with any of her exes, and her family didn't get to know them well, but Marcos was beloved by them on his own, so she picked him.

"Happiest with" was also a no-brainer for Trystan. After all, if Juliana hadn't died, he had hoped to spend his life with her. It was a much harder question for Carolina, but she selected Daphne because Daphne loved and respected Carolina for who she was and never pressured her to become or give more.

But Daphne was also Carolina's most difficult break-up. Partially because it was tied into her departure from the NYPD, but mostly because Carolina really liked and cared for Daphne and missed her when it was over.

Trystan selected Gus as his worst break-up because he felt so betrayed. He thought Gus cared for him, and the realization that he was being used all along hit him like a ton of bricks. It made Trystan doubt himself in ways he hadn't before.

Carolina realized none of her exes was particularly funny, but that's OK. Trystan makes up for it in spades. Daphne was sharp as they came, so she was the smartest. Marcos was the kindest to her.

Juliana was easily the funniest and brightest of Trystan's exes. He would say kindest, too, but Daniel had an edge because his love and kindness to Trystan were so selfless. He gave without expectation or agenda from the start, and he was always honest & trusted Trystan. While Juli was very kind, and their love grew, their relationship didn't have all of those elements from the start.

Why Dahlia and Daniel for kiss? They'd both say because they were fucking great kissers. Marry was easy for Trystan, but Carolina was surprised to find her visceral answer was Daphne. Carolina chose Raul for kill, making it clear that she really wouldn't kill him, but maiming didn't sound so bad. Trystan chose Gus and said killing seemed perfectly suitable.

They both meet their exes, who remain friends in their lives. Marcos and Daphne both liked Trystan, and Dahlia tolerates him on occasion when needed. Irena, Daniel, and Lucas all get along well with Carolina, but she and Lucas are the closest of the three.

Thank you for checking this out and if you have any questions about this, feel free to shoot me an ask!

[kanene-yaaay]

Chasing Laughter

Kanene's Notes: Heyaa! Gosh, it's been a long time since I've been able to write and finish AND post a fic. But! I've got a new fandom >:D uytredrtyuidfg So, at first I didn't know a lot about Fit but GOSH, now he is one of my faves. Like, a guy that is trapped in a experiment controlled by a gigantic force that is not above torturing, experimenting and doing awful thing just to keep the control and yet this is the happier he had ever been? Because he has a wonderful son and friends? Because here, different from the world filled with war he came before, he at least knows a bit of peace? And he would do anything to still have this love, happiness and family he found? B r u h I am on the FLOOR Although, I still haven't watched a LOT of him so probably this is kind of OOC but yeah it is what it is dfghujuygtfrftgy

Warnings: None. This is pure flluff and plyaful tickles. Ticklish!Ramón and Ler!Fit. Around 1.000 words. General warning: this is a tickle fic

[~*~]

Ramón took off running.

It felt almost natural, now. He learned to run for his life a long time ago, nowadays being able to deal much better with all the thoughts his mind had to attend to. Where he should step, when he should keep going or try to hide, how far was his pursuer, what could he do to get just a few more seconds before help came… 

At first, it wasn’t supposed to be a game, running away from someone more than often isn’t in his daily life. Not with the place that they lived. The island.

But, well… 

The wind ruffled his hair and the adrenaline raced in his veins, heartbeat going in sync with his footsteps, painting in firm strokes and nimble steps determination in every turn and dodge. The voice that followed him on his path only served as a reminder that it was just a fun chase.

It was hard to not have fun when his father was involved. 

“Ramooon, where are you? You can’t run forever, my baby boy.”

All of this was Dapper’s fault, really. He was a menace and immature and the one who didn’t know when to admit that he had lost the wrestling match and so decided to change to cheating so he could win. And no. It didn’t matter that technically Ramón had also cheated by sneaking up behind his twin and starting the play fight when the other was busy building. That is not cheating. This is being tactical and having a strategy . Cheating is resorting to unfair methods like throwing all your weapons and tools to the ground, shoving your hands under the enemy’s chestplate and squeezing their sides non stop.

Tickling isn’t even allowed in a real fight! Dapper doesn’t even expect the big storm that is coming to him, Ramón also has a lot of a very kind of giggly, tickly blackmail about his brother that he is more than happy to share with his uncle Bad.

He just needed to survive this chase first.

With the potato gun in his hand he turned around, firing. None of them hit the target, it was hard when both of them were moving so fast and inconsistently, full of zig zags, circles and jumps on the usual irregular soil.

“Ops, almost got me there, Ramon, but you can’t escape your father.”

Ramón almost laughed, almost cursed and almost tried to shoot another round of potatoes on his dad for being so embarrassing.

“You know I will always find you. Come here, my boy!”

In the end, he ended up stumbling.

His body didn’t even had the chance to fall on the grass before two hands, warm and kind. larger than life, full of scars that contained brave stories and strong enough to hold him dangling in the air in what his Tío Foolish liked to call the “Air Prison”, got him from behind.

“Oh! Oh!! I got you, I got youuuu, my beautiful, beautiful baby boy! Look what I have right in my hands, a cute little sneaker who thought that he could outrun his old man, huh? You love to see it.”

Ramón struggled on the hold, kicking and feeling his cheeks light up in flames at his father’s usual baby voice, trying to ignore with his entire might all the giggles crawling up his throat and the gigantic smile that fought to take over his mouth. 

He was NOT going to lose this time! No matter how much embarrassing praises and unfair baby voices his own father attempted to pull against him, he would keep himself strong and simply not break!

(He always did. No matter how long they’ve played this game of hide and seek and chase, or how often his father’s eyes glinted in pure happiness when he saw him awake or even how the pride took over his words and gestures every time Ramón showed him his newer project. Everyday Ramon tried to keep his composure, his mature self in front of him as a shield and a preparation. Yet,  every single day his dad came and let him act and feel like he was… like he could be just a child in front of him.)

All his thoughts came to a halt and got scrambled when suddenly he was thrown upwards and spun in the air, no time to get the grappling hook to escape the situation before Fit caught him again, now with both of them being able to face each other. 

His father’s grin was as mischievous as big. Ramón huffed and squinted at him and did not pout at his destiny. 

A couple of fingers sneaking under his armpits and digging there quickly made his grumpy demeanor melt in a loud squeak.

"Ohoho, what is this? Is that a smile that I am seeing right there? A big, bright and starry five stars smile, indeed."

Ramón shook his head, entire body shaking with the struggle of keeping the laughter inside. His hands attempted to push his father's hold away, but it would be much easier to try to move a mountain. 

The fingers began crawling downwards, giving each rib a few quick, nimble scribble before focusing entirely on squeezing his sides, not being even slightly discouraged by the smaller’s tactic of trying to become a defensive ball, a couple of quiet yelps escaping when the scratching found a sweet spot right where his sides and ribs connected.

"I think someone's barrier is about to crack.~" Fit playful taunted.

A couple of giggles ran away without permission from his mouth, his smile growing from one ear to another as each tickle seemed to send a tingly, funny kind of adrenaline in his veins.

It took only single scribble on his stomach for everything, every squeal, giggly snort, squeaky wheeze and crackling to come trembling down from his mouth, filling the air with a loud, energetic laughter and a quiet, amused chuckle that danced together amidst the wind and the trees.

For a few moments that was all that existed, the silly, playful, tickly moment and genuine laughter. It lasted a couple of minutes before Fit decided they both already had their fun and that Ramón could use some of benefits of taking big, uninterrupted gulps of air.

"Okay, okay, enough. I don't want to take it too far." His father's movements weren't exactly gentle , still roughed in the edges by the life he had before the island, but he was the most careful as he let him on the ground and discreet enough to not snicker too loud when Ramón wobbled a bit on the same spot, left over sniggers still escaping and making his nose scrunch up. "Are you alright, Ramón?"

The kid just quietly wiped the beginnings of tears that formed in the corner of his eyes before, in a flash, grabbing his sword and quickly hitting his dad with a clear swing before jumping away.

"Wh- wha- what! Hey!" His voice was the perfect mix of amused and exasperated. Not a single drop of regret in it as the flames danced on his armor, barely even affecting him. "Now, come on…"

He stepped closer to the smaller one, only for Ramón to jump away once more and pull his spyglass, squinting at him in a clear show of protest.

(Of course both realized how the corner of his mouth was still up in a remain of a happy smile, how the swing was totally non harmful and how he would never, ever, truly run away from his father.)

"OK, OK, you're right, that was unfair of me." Ramón slightly bent his knees, hand still close to his sword, waiting for more. "What if we go clear that dungeon you mentioned earlier? Think you could forgive me then?"

The kid quickly put away his spyglass, stepping closer and nodding pleased. His father was smart. He knew he would stop being silly and see the reason, eventually.

Fit watched as his kid led the way, a pep on his step and a joyful hum in the tip of his tongue. His chest filled with warmth, realizing (not for the first or last time) how lucky he was to have all of this in his life.

He will do anything to keep this happiness, to keep them, alive.

[~*~]

Ramón may or may not strategically try to get his revenge in the future in front of a very curious and mischievous Brazilian (Pac really needed a Second to Breath when he heard Fit giggling for the first time, and, really, how could he just NOT help his sobrinho, ya know?) and ever since their life (and bit by bit the life of everyone in the island because rumors fly like crazy and not a single one in there isn't prone to some mischief) got filled with much more laughter and sillyness Just wanted to write some light-hearted fun

[theoncelee]

I made it all of one day keeping up with Tickletober. Stellar of me I know. So here’s yesterdays fic, I’ll hopefully be posting todays as well before the end of the day. I’m not super happy with this one but hopefully someone likes it haha.

Plus my stupid SAT studying brain kept lecturing me about grammar the whole way through this one. I had to keep reminding myself that I was writing goddamn fanfiction and it didn’t matter 😭😭

Anyways enjoy!! :)

Day Two- Drawn On

Fandom: MHA

Ship: Platonic or Romantic KiriBaku (lee!Bakugou ler!Kirishima)

Warnings: this is a tickle fic. Don’t read it if you don’t like that stuff. Some capital words but no entire sentences in this one.

A Paper Alternative

“Bakubrooooo I need your help,” Kirishima whined, barging into Bakugou’s dorm room with his spare key. Which was a normal thing to have, by the way, friends did that. Bakugou lazily glanced up from his phone, where he had been casually scrolling on his bed. Couldn’t he have one hour of piece without one of those damn extras bothering him? But it was Kirishima, so of course that came out as “sure, what’s up?

“I need to practice for my art project, can I use you?” The redhead asked. “What?” Bakugou replied, utterly confused. “Don’t you have paper, shitty hair?” “Well, yeah, but I don’t wanna ruin my good art paper before I know what I wanna do!” Kirishima explained, slightly embarrassed. “Tch, fine shitty hair. Do whatever,” Bakugou relented, collapsing back onto his pillow. “Awesome, thanks bro!” Kirishima beamed. He carefully placed himself on top of Bakugou’s thighs, rolled up Bakugou’s shirt, and grabbed his pens and markers. He took his first pen and lightly touched down on Bakugou’s toned stomach, focusing on his sketch. Luckily for Bakugou, that meant that Kirishima didn’t notice Bakugou’s eyes practically bulging out of his head at the sensation. The pen tip was smooth and relentless, unlike anything he’d ever felt before. And FUCK it TICKLED. Kirishima was Bakugou’s best friend and the only one he allowed to come close enough to touch him. Bakugou hadn’t been tickled since he was really little; he’d honestly forgotten he even WAS ticklish. But fuck was that smooth pen gliding up and down his torso jogging his memory. Although, if he was more honest with himself than he wanted to be, what Kirishima was doing really didn’t feel all that bad. It was kinda nice. The only problem was keeping quiet so Kirishima wouldn’t notice.

That all changed when Kirishima started coloring. The felt tipped marker he was using tickled WAY more than the pen, and coupled with the consistency of Kirishima’s back and forth coloring motion Bakugou was DEAD. He jerked with a yelp before he began squirming for real. Kirishima looked up and saw Bakugou’s beat red face and strained smile and quickly put two and two together. His expression softened, but he decided to fake obliviousness for a little while longer. “Geez Bakubro, what’s got you all squirmy today?” he asked as he began coloring a very large shape at the bottom of Bakugou’s ribcage. “ngh, just, hurry uhup shihity hairr,” Bakugou strained, “I dohon’t have ahall day you kn-know.” Kirishima just chuckled and continued.

The biggest problem for Bakugou, was that the longer the tickle went on, the more ticklish it got. He was like a giggly bomb, destined to break if Kirishima’s incessant scribbling didn’t FUCKING STOP. When Kirishima scribbled the marker in Bakugou’s navel, Bakugou honest to god SQUEALED. With the damn broken, he collapsed back onto the bed in a fit of the SWEETEST giggles Kirishima had ever heard. “What’s the matter Bakubro? Ticklish?” Kirishima teased. And if he noticed how Bakugou barely fought back as he finished his picture, he never mentioned it.

The drawing ended up coming out stellar, a gorgeous tree with its shimmering branches reaching out all over Bakugou’s torso. And while Bakugou kicked Kirishima out of his dorm and threatened murder, he definitely dreaded having to shower the next morning and wash it off.

[messymindofmine]

For a while now I’ve been trying to get my thoughts on the first four episodes of this season sorted out. I did actually enjoy the arc as a whole. I enjoyed getting to learn more about Carlos’s backstory and I actually enjoyed getting to know Iris better. I think so many of us assumed that Carlos had such a lonely childhood and so it’s nice to know that he had at least one person in his life that he was close to and be himself around.

I think for me the reason why I felt so stressed about it all was actually more down to the fandom reaction to the storyline. I’m not trying to blame anyone here or insult the fandom at all. I actually understand why a lot of people reacted the way they did. But there were things that stressed me out. I didn’t like how so many people just seemed so resistant to the concept of Carlos even having flaws. Carlos has always had flaws, it’s just that for some reason some people always ignored them in favor of lashing out at TK. And I think that right there is why a lot of people who care about TK felt frustrated. Since s1, TK’s worthiness has constantly been questioned and every mistake he has made has been held against him. In s3, ppl kept saying that Carlos should never have taken TK back at all and made him work for it. Mind you, these people completely overlooked the fact that Carlos had bought a house without even discussing it with TK. The thing is, the narrative and Carlos himself seemed to ignore that too. Even Rafa boiled the breakup down to “TK fucking up.” But with this, it feels like the writers didn’t even want to acknowledge that Carlos had even made a mistake. There is never a moment where it’s pointed out to Carlos that he was married for the entirety of his relationship to TK and didn’t tell him. Instead, it’s brushed of bc it wasn’t a real marriage. I think this frustrated a lot of people bc it felt like even when Carlos is unequivocally the one who made a mistake, it’s going ignored. I actually did defend Carlos as much as I possibly could during that arc bc I do understand why he married Iris in the first place and it does fit his character that he didn’t tell TK. I just wish that had been pointed out as wrong the way TK breaking up with Carlos instead of talking to him about the house was. Carlos got to vent his feelings back then yet TK never said a word about how he felt about Carlos keeping that secret and then he constantly blamed himself for Iris going missing and nobody stepped in to tell him it wasn’t his fault.

On the other hand, I didn’t like how people who were understanding of both sides were treated either. I know for a fact that there were people writing entire coda fics that validated TK’s feelings and yet they were being sent messages accusing them of not liking TK. I most certainly did not like how the writers and especially the actors were being left nasty comments to the point where an Instagram post had to be taken down. As much as I loved Ronen, Rafa and Lysney showing each other solidarity, it should never have come to that in the first place. I don’t know what type of comments they were or who they were coming from. I do know that there were people who were just mad that a woman had been brought into the dynamic at all. I know that there were people who just couldn’t stand the idea of Carlos having flaws. I know there were people who, after the first ep, were sending anyone who vented their feelings on their own blog lists of every mistake (both real and imagined) mistake that TK has ever made. I know there were people who went out of their way to blame TK anyway and people who tried to pin the blame on Iris even though she was literally in a state of psychosis for years and was living on the streets. At any rate, whoever it was that left comments on Rafa’s post or sent hate to any of the actors should be ashamed.

Ronen himself touched on this in a post ep 4 interview but it really does seem that ppl forget that TK deals with mental health issues as well and none of this situation was at all easy on him. There’s a reason why Iris likened herself to TK. From the vibe I got, the ppl that were actually hating on Iris for the stuff she said during the dinner didn’t even seem that concerned about TK himself. They just wanted an excuse to hate on Iris. I’ve said before that there is ableism in this fandom that has come into play with how TK is talked about and it definitely feels like it came into play with how Iris was talked about. I know it frustrated a lot of ppl seeing TK’s struggles in this arc being ignored by everyone and even Carlos seemingly blaming him for Iris going missing. Now, I do understand why Carlos reacted the way he did. He was deeply worried, probably blaming himself since this is something he and TK have in common and Iris’s life was in danger. And Carlos has always had a tendency to compartmentalize to the point that it becomes toxic. So I do understand his reaction but I can’t say that I didn’t find it upsetting. I also feel like it led a lot of ppl to be louder about how bad they felt for TK bc they felt that nobody else was going to do it. There were also ppl outright blaming TK and the fact that Ronen made it a point to defend why TK went to Iris shows that the actors do in fact see the stuff fans say. I just hope that after this ppl can recognize that it is possible to understand and sympathize with two characters at the same time and to do so doesn’t mean that you dislike one or the other. I actually do understand (even if I don't necessarily agree with it) the hypersensitivity that some ppl had over TK during this arc bc there’s no denying that there are ppl out there that look for excuses to hate on TK and downplay his feelings. Apparently enough for Ronen to notice. In my experience, ppl who love TK generally love Carlos as well but the same can not always be said the other way around. However, as I already said, this is no reason to go after the ppl who do love both and are just trying to be understanding of both sides. At the end of the day, as far as I can see the majority does love both and that should be what matters. I think there is also the matter of how the anger ppl felt at Carlos was ultimately temporary. Ppl were angry after 401 but they calmed down after 402 when we saw Tarlos being a united team and expressing love for each other. And of course there was the exquisite couch scene. The anger started up again with ep 2 and Carlos’s behavior. The anger at Carlos always felt like a knee-jerk response that I didn’t like but at least it was temporary in the end. For TK on the other hand, ppl have been looking for excuses to hate on him since s1. Going as far as him bringing Lou the lizard home as proof of how he’s not good enough for Carlos.

All of this is something that has really been bothering me especially since there’s people who seem mad that Carlos wasn’t in ep 5 and I truly don’t understand why. I understand wanting more screen time, I always want both guys to have more screen time but I enjoyed the focus on Marjan and I want more for her. Plus we had 4 episodes straight focusing on Carlos where we learned so much about him and a lot of fans even got there wish about seeing him be the one in danger and TK rescue him. That’s actually another thing btw, while I liked ep 4 itself, I didn’t like how ppl were rejoicing at Carlos being hurt bc it would make “TK be the one to worry and show his love in a more obvious way.” Anyway, I don’t understand why some ppl were so mad at Carlos not getting screen time in this ep. I also understand wanting to see acknowledgment of what happened but I feel like it’s ok bc there’s so many brilliant coda fics for that. We didn’t really get any aftermath in the Push arc either but I don’t remember ppl complaining about that. TK was barely in any of the episodes after Push until the end of 307 and he was barely in this ep either. There are about 10 regulars on the show and this is the first time Marjan has had a big storyline so why is it such a bad thing that the focus was temporarily moved a bit? I genuinely don’t understand.  

Anyway, as I said before, I’m not trying to blame anyone or start anything. I just truly needed to get this off my chest so that I can sleep at night. As I said, I did enjoy the storyline overall. More than anything else, I’m just happy to move on from the angst and into the happy wedding-planning era. Personally, I don’t want anymore relationship-related drama. I know Rafa said that what happened in 404 would impact how Carlos dealt with things later on and I hope that means we see growth. I hope that means Carlos realizing that he has things he needs to work on the way TK did after Push. That’s all I want next for Tarlos and for Carlos

[artistic-writer]

a year gone by

Many of you will know that for the last year or so, I have had very little, if any, fandom contact. I guess I should explain a little bit about what has been going down and what has kept me away.

My account would not let me in: And i am stubborn. So i stopped trying to get in. At the time i felt like the fandom was moving apart and I didn't want top to be apart of the he said she said that came along with it. I have seen a good number of new fandom members emerging, who are kind and loving and thoughtful on the Discord, and have made me want to come back.

Wilf: I got a second dog without realising the consequences of doing so and the impact it would have on my family. Wilf has his share of problems. He is my little ball of anxiety and I have been working through the many issues he has with him, but we are far from there yet. He is nearly 2 now <3

My health is in the tank: I have had several flare ups of my Fibromyalgia in the last few years, and many of them have made it difficult to sit still long enough. As you can imagine, this takes its toll on one's mental health. Yay having an illness that is worsened by inactivity. My nature is a little self destructive and i throw myself into work in order to forget about the pain, and that has led to severe fatigue, which in turn, is not conducive to writing or arting. I am sorry. Also, in April i had a work related accident where i thought i had just sprained my ankle, but as it turns out, i have detatched not one, but two ligaments, so am awaiting the outcome of will i/won't i need an operation? My appointment is in Dec.

I took up a hobby!: For nearly FOUR years I have been on the waiting list, trying to get into a dog sport called Flyball. FINALLY, my local team got back to us and Killian is running through their first course, and will hopefully be offered a place on the team! I have found a group of real human beings who 'get me' and so far, i am loving it!

I got a promotion at work: I am the boss now. for reals. i still cannot believe anyone would put me in charge of a team of people, but here we are. This eats up more of my time but also allows me to have a decent schedule - so should allow for more me time!

I went back to school: Obviously, not content with enough in my life, I enrolled on an Advanced Canine Behaviour Diploma course, for which i have a year to complete. I'm sure i can fit it in...somewhere. Collecting all the letters after my name, innit.

I work two jobs: 48 hrs a week in one job just wasn't enough, clearly. I am currently training with the Institute of Modern Dog Trainers (IMDT) and hope to become a fully accepted member at the satrt of next year. Their values align with everything i do in dog training, and although I currently offer 1-2-1's, classes, and such, I really want accolades that tell people I am the best. I currently work as a dog trainer Fridays, with the odd handstripping and groom thrown in between jobs.

My husband and I are working through some things: We are not actually married but it is easier to tell people we are rather than explain why we are not. We have had a very up-and-down few years, mainly because of miscommunication, but we are working through it because we are each other's soul mates. I would never want anyone else in my corner. maybe @hollyethecurious, but she's just there to hide the bodies. As such, we are making time for each other more, so I'll likely just be around in the evenings or weekends.

[cafeinthemoon]

Portrait of a Monk - Chapter XIV

Chapter 14/?

Wordcount 3,1k

Title The Priest's Honeymoon

Fandom Jujutsu Kaisen

Pairing Geto Suguru X reader

Previous chapters

1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5 . 6 . 7 . 8 . 9 . 10 . 11 . 12 . 13

Symbols ⭕ . ➕ . 🖤

Warning (s): Implied nudity (non sexual); Geto being overprotective (as always)

Tagging @darling-imobsessed @wasurenagusaa (if you want to be tagged in any of my stories, just send an ask or a message, or leave a comment on this chapter 😉)

A.N.: So... A chapter at the hot springs! This is something I've been wanting to write for a while, not necessarily for this story, but it came out to fit it, so here we have our shy y/n-chan not wanting to get rid of her towel while Geto-sama doesn't take his eyes off her 😳 As if it wasn't enough, she's introduced to another side of his technique, about which they will have more to discuss...

Geto-sama wanted to be as real as possible for you, and he did take his measures to see it happening. One of the said measures, as you discovered in the next morning, was to arrange things so that you would spend that whole week in honeymoon. 

When you woke up, you found yourself alone, wrapped in the blankets just like you remembered being when you fell asleep the night before. Thanks to them, as well as to the heater, your body was warm, and the sound barrier was still active, protecting your ears from the winds outside, the clearest sign of Winter’s approaching. Except for the slight numbness in your limbs and a subtle ache between your legs, you wouldn’t say you were tired, but leaving the bed was the last thing you wanted right now. You sighed with yourself and entered deeper inside the blankets. You couldn’t remember when was the last time you felt so in peace. 

You turned on your side and ended up sleeping again. 

*** 

Only when you woke up for the second time, you realized the room was too quiet. You moved your arm to the spot beside you and found it empty. At first, you just thought your husband left to solve some minor issues and would be right back, so there was nothing to worry about, but when minutes passed and there was still no sign of him, you frowned. 

Finally, you moved the blanket away. You blinked a few times and passed your sight over the space. The room was still a bit dark, but a cold light was perceptible through the cracks of the porch door, forming a sequence of pale beams, giving every surface a shade of blue. 

In any corner you looked, no trace of his cursed energy was sensed. 

You left the bed, grabbed your robe and headed to the bathroom. After washing your face and brushing your hair, you went back to the bed area, thinking of changing your clothes and try to find Geto. 

However, a more attentive look showed that you wouldn’t have to go too far. 

His chambers, larger than any other in the temple, were divided in two sections: that one where you slept, and a second, separated from it by a shoji door, where he had a table for meals and a second-hand office, a place where only a few were allowed: that was the room where he gave you the hairpin and proposed to you. When you left the bathroom, you heard noises coming from there and noticed the door was half opened. You didn’t waste time. 

You slipped across the door and found him with his back turned on the entry, sitting at the table. He was in his black robe, finishing his breakfast. His hair, untied and spreading down his back, was already brushed. 

– I considered calling my y/n-chan to have her breakfast with me, but she was sleeping so sweetly that I didn’t want to wake her up – he spoke without looking at you. 

You weren’t surprised that he noticed your presence despite your silent arrival; it was rather a relief not having the responsibility of starting your first conversation after… last night. Yes, the memories were a bit embarrassing now that you revisited them under the daylight, less because of what happened than because your worries on how it could change you in his eyes. Well, would it really change you? 

You must have been stuck in the doorway for too long, for your master turned to you with soft but inquiring eyes. 

– Won’t you join me at the table, my dear? – he stretched his left arm to you – Come before the tea gets cold. 

You approached the table and were going to occupy the spot by his side, but Geto took your hand and placed you on his lap. You didn’t have time to refuse it, not even to be flustered: you felt his hands adjusting your legs, giving you space to get comfortable, his arm surrounding your waist, bringing you close to his chest. It was a warmer, more intimate version of that occasion, a few weeks ago, when you were together at this very space, discussing the wedding’s date. With his palm on the back of your head, he caressed your hair and left a long, soft kiss on it. 

– Such a delightful thing to see in the morning – he mumbled, sensing the fragrance of your hair – My beloved y/n-chan in my arms… Now, let’s take care of her just like she deserves. 

He brought the teapot closer and, holding it with his right hand, he poured the liquid on a cup; the steam and the relaxing scent of herbs spread around the table, filling your nostrils. He gave you the filled cup; you sipped the tea and approved the taste. 

With a smile, your husband brought an empty bowl closer, but when you thought you were just going to fill it and eat, he proposed something else. 

– Choose what you want, dear, and I’ll get it for you. 

Yes, that sounded unusual even for your eccentric lover, but the content upon the table was so inviting that you found it useless to argue: you did as he said, and the result was the prettiest bowl imaginable. With a pair of hashi, Geto stirred the food, took a bit... and brought it to you. Only then you understood what he had in mind, and your eyes widened: he was going to feed you, then? 

You looked from the hashi to him, met his usual, soft smile, then looked back at the hashi, confirming his intention. You left the tea on the table and turned your attention to the food, opening your mouth with curiosity, then covered your lips while chewing, not holding back the smile of pleasure with the excellent taste. 

– I’m so happy that you liked it! – Geto turned to the bowl and took a second bit of the food – More? 

You nodded. 

– Please, my Lord. 

And he kept feeding you until the bowl was empty. 

It didn’t escape you a glimmer of pleasure in his eyes while he observed your delicate form receiving this curious, affectionate gesture: the way your pupils widened to the sight of the food, your nostrils sensing the scent of the condiments, your small lips spreading to taste the bits and closing around the hashi while they moved away... It was a delight to watch his y/n-chan experimenting, accepting his love with no question; it wasn’t a shame to depend on him for a moment, he would say. And since the season of hard work brought by Winter was around the corner, and with it, little time to enjoy together, you told yourself it was better to take this opportunity. 

When everything was finished, you remained quiet, resting in Geto’s arms with your eyes closed while he filled another cup of tea for himself. 

At some moment, he started a conversation. 

– There’s a place where I want to take you for our honeymoon, dear. Actually, I already reserved a stay there. 

You were almost sleeping again, but opened your eyes and raised your head at this. 

– Did you? What type of place, Geto-sama? 

– The hot springs at … Have you ever heard of them? 

– I’m afraid not – you replied after thinking for a second. 

– They’re located in the North, not so far from here. The building is wide, surrounded by trees and natural beauty. And it’s very peaceful, so we won’t have to worry about a crowd. 

Your cheeks heated up at the mention of a crowd, but it wasn’t the presence of other people that worried you: though you never visited hot springs in your life, you knew that people used to stay completely undressed in front of each other at them. Was that appropriate for you two, despite you being a couple? 

Your husband blinked one eye at you, fully aware of your apprehension. 

– Speaking of crowds, I reserved a private bath for us, so you don’t have to be afraid – and kissing the top of your head, – No strange eyes will be on my y/n-chan. 

That was quite a relief: you still haven’t got used to show yourself to the man you loved, so having your form exposed to other people outside your home would be a nightmare. 

With that issue solved, the only preoccupation you had was concerning the travel. 

– When do we leave, then? 

– Today. 

– Today? But… isn’t it too far? How long would we take to get there, my Lord? 

– If we chose a traditional transport, we would take long to arrive, that’s true – he explained – But we have a more efficient way to cover the distance. 

– What way? 

He giggled. 

– You’ll see. 

*** 

In the end, the effective way of traveling was revealed to be that winged cursed spirit Geto summoned at the garden the day he told you about innate techniques. By that time, you already knew he had thousands of curses under his control, but you rarely saw him using them unless in great necessity: your husband always preferred to do things by himself or to delegate the work to his children. Besides, even though he never openly spoke about this to you, you also knew that he didn’t appreciate spending time around the common people, and barely let his family do this – in your case, this protection was such that you haven’t seen any of them since you came to live there – which explained his rejection for traditional transports, at least partly. 

You weren’t so fond of heights, which made you suspicious about putting yourself on the curse’s back and fly with it, but you were comforted in this too: Geto spent the whole travel holding you in his arms, and even wrapped you in a blanket because of the cold. You thought of taking a nap to not see the blank space around you, but it turned out to be unnecessary: as promised by your husband, the travel’s duration was incredibly short, something around ten minutes, if your notion of time was correct. 

Soon, you were landing at the large, solitary gates of the bath house, away from the chilling winds of upside. Geto stepped down from the curse’s back and helped you reach the ground, then stretched his hand, making the creature disappear. There were no people at sight, and you thought it was for the best: if they were usually unable to see curses, it would be scary for them to witness two strangers coming from nowhere above. 

Your package was carried in the stomach of another cursed spirit. When you folded the blanket, Geto summoned it and told you to put it inside the curse. It disappeared right after, and you crossed the house’s entry with your arms entwined. 

*** 

 

Finally, you reached the room reserved for you. 

While Geto summoned the curse and took the packages out of it, you went to explore the place, opening the doors and looking at their interiors in awe. 

The room was as large and comfortable as your own at the temple, and was even structured in a way that resembled it: the furniture, the bed area and the bathroom were arranged in the same positions of your room at home, and there was little to no difference in the proportions of the two rooms and the distance between the objects. The remarkable differences consisted in the lights, not as softer as the ones of the temple, and the porch door, that would lead to a small, private garden surrounding a pool of hot water without the necessity of a long, stone path to it, as it happened in your house. 

It was everything so pleasing, so familiar that in a moment, that room felt like home. Maybe your husband chose that specific room to maintain this sense of comfort and soothe your process of adaptation. 

Not only this, but an extension of the behavior pattern he showed while feeding you early that morning was also applied in favor of this: Geto already told that you had the face of a doll once, but that time he started having some kind of fun treating you like one. 

Shortly after having your personal items settled, when you started the preparations for your first bath, he asked you to approach. When you did it, he made you turn around and tied your hair up with a pin he carried with himself. You brought your own pins of course, but you wouldn’t refuse a favor from your husband. 

– Thank you, Geto-sama… 

He patted your head with a smile, as to say it was nothing. He indicated the place where the towels were kept and pointed to the bed, where two of them were already separated, then brought his hands to your shoulders. You felt his fingers groping under the hems, making your clothing slip down, and held your breath: he was going to undress you and wrap you in the towel, then. Yes, you refused when he tried to do this last night, saying you preferred to manage your bath by yourself, but that time you didn’t oppose, despite your shyness: you thought that if you always said no, you’d never get used to it. And it wasn’t like you’ve had your boundaries disrespected, anyway: whenever you showed discomfort with a gesture or act, Geto would step back and try to understand what happened, then respond accordingly. 

Then why did this feel strange? Why couldn’t you let him just take care of you? 

When you noticed, you were already covered by the white towel, and your clothes were placed on the bed. 

– Go ahead – Geto was saying – Enjoy the water. I’m right behind you. 

You adjusted the towel upon your chest and went to the porch door. 

That porch was narrow compared to the one of the temple, but seemed to be built with the same type of wood. Right ahead, there was a small group of descending stairs made of gray stone that led to the bathtub itself, a rounded crater surrounded by smooth edges and a wooden floor; at the right and the left, starting from the porch, there were some sort of thin walls decorated with natural landscapes and birds, so that the only open space was in front of you, right after the tub, where you saw trees, flowers and some exotic species of plants. It was incredible that they were still this beautiful by that time of the year, but you supposed the gardeners had their tricks to maintain their good aspect. 

Unlike you imagined, it wasn’t really cold outside, for steam was constantly raising up from the water, reaching your spot and warming everything around the tub. 

It was a marvelous place to stay at. You spent a moment observing the surroundings, then decided to enter the water. You unwrapped the edge of the towel under your arm... but gave up on taking it off when a noise was heard among the plants. 

You took a step back, thinking if you should go back to the room and call Geto or ignore it. It could be just the wind or a small animal hiding. 

Unfortunately, you didn't have the necessary time to find out before the source of the noise revealed itself, and it had nothing to do with an animal: it was a curse with the size of a big dog, with a greyish purple skin and the aspect of a reptile, but its body and limbs were twisted, just as its movements as it crawled on the wooden floor. From the curse’s mouth came a wheezing sound that made you cringe. 

Despite the disturbing appearance, the curse wasn’t that strong. It might have been born from the stress or fear of the previous hosts, nothing you couldn’t deal with. You took a deep breath, stretched your hand to exorcize it... 

– Ah, wait a little, my dear. 

You startled at your husband’s voice, so cheerful, coming from the porch. You looked behind and saw him approaching and passing by you, his eyes fixed on the spirit. His hair was now tied up and he had a towel wrapped at his waist, but his thighs were exposed. 

– Instead of just exorcizing it, why don’t we give it a better destiny? 

You frowned. 

– How so, my Lord? 

– I’ll show you. 

He stretched his hand toward the curse, still wheezing and now trying to reach his feet. The curse raised its head toward him and let out the loudest noise possible, as if sensing that something terrifying was about to happen. 

And that ended up being the case, at least to it. Slowly, its body was pulled up and absorbed in a spiral under your husband’s hand, until it was turned into a compact, black orb. Geto observed it for a second and, with a giggle, opened his mouth to swallow it whole. 

You stood there in silence, staring at him. So... that was how he took over all those curses he possessed? 

Geto looked back at you and raised an eyebrow, as if what he just did was the most common thing in this world. Then, suddenly, he laughed. 

– Ah, I almost forgot it! You haven’t seen me using my technique yet – he approached and made a caress your chin – This shouldn’t have happened so suddenly. I’m sorry for scaring you, y/n-chan. 

– I’m not scared, my Lord – you shrugged – I’m just... surprised. I already knew your technique was unusual, but I’d never thought it would work like this. 

He smiled. 

– Well, there’s more about it that you’re yet to find out – he approached the tub’s edge – But for now let’s just relax, okay? 

And before you asked yourself what he was going to do, Geto unwrapped the towel from his body and folded it before entering the tub. You turned away with your face in heat; you heard when his foot touched the tub’s bottom, and only looked again when he was already covered in water, the smooth, hot waves dancing at his chest’s height, the towel upon the wooden edge beside him. 

You were still standing, holding your own towel around yourself, not sure of what to do. He turned to your side and leaned his elbow on the border, his cheek on his hand, eyes glued on you. 

– Is my y/n-chan so afraid of the water – he blinked with his left eye, a growing smug on his face – Or is she afraid of something else? 

No verbal response came from you, too shy even to giggle. You understood that he wasn’t going to do you the favor of turning his gaze away, so you just did what you had to do and freed your body from the towel, leaving it close to Geto’s after taking your spot on the steamy water.

[thatbanditqueen]

Dear Norah, thank you very much for tagging me in the newest episode of The Only Sure Thing, that was really thoughtful. I've just got around to read it and it was so good.

Their banter at the beggining was so authentic, I felt that I was the one eavesdropping. As always you are truly a master at capturing E's speech and it is so easy to imagine him saying everything that you've written.

Poor Midge is so hard on herself. She wants to be seen as someone different than the rest of E's girls (mainly Anita, in this case) yet she is victim to the completly normal feelings that one experiences when in love and even more when it is the first time. There is this tug of war between her need to explore and discover who she is and her desire to be immersed in E's world.

The scenes were E comes to visit her were fantastic. It's clear that he sees her as a sort of safe place, where he is not being pushed in a hundred different directions. I can't stop wondering about the tool that such a heavy responsability will have on Midge. There was a moment where you described the idea of "bending time and space to your will" and it feels so real. I think that E's need to both control and help those around him gave him the idea that there was nothing or nobody that could stand between him and what he wanted. That feeling of certainty must have been so powerful to have around and so contagious.

The connection to real events (or as much as we can describe them as such) was inspired. I love that I can see the amount of details and research behind each episode and how well you fit them in your own narrative.

A small detail that I love is how you describe the way that E holds girls, the big hand, right on the rib, under the boob and splayed towards the belly. I've always loved it and it is great how others have picked it up.

Sorry for the delay and the long message. It was such a great episode Norah, I can't wait to read more of them throughout the years!

All the love, Cami. 🥰

Cami, Mi Amor,

Ha, yes, I am here to tag anyone I think might be interested, lol, I hope you would let me know if you want off. Have you read any books about Elvis? I go through and clip little snippets of the way he talks that just make me burst. Even if he is angry or upset, I love studying him like he is a research project and I am searching for the answer. The answer to what, I don't know. I also just love this time in history, the fashion, the music, ugh, I want Midge to live for me, and I try to write her thinking about how I would be in this situation, both in love with E and everything he is, but also interested in my own pursuits and protective/jealous.

The way he touched women just makes me swoon, I get excited just thinking about it, and that underhanded grip right under the breast at the waist is one of my favorites! Ughhhh.

I hope you are well, I love talking about Elvis and these stories with you, as always. Feel free to share any of your favorite trademark elvissy things with me, I love hearing about those little things he does that other people in the fandom have noticed.

xoxox

Norah