#my in-laws are hot but man are they terrible parents

[ofoceansandtombsanew]

Building Castles in the Sky

cw. pre!release, gn!reader, step 2, hurt & comfort

pairing. tamarack x reader

notes. this has been in my head since the step 2 demo inclusion first popped off and with frederick and nichole's design and info being released, i wanted to write this even more. i have so many OL thoughts but i wanted to get this one out first

It starts when you hear the tell-tale sound of pebbles hitting the rails of your window.

It's a school night, Thursday to be exact. Or at least it still should be, it could be Friday now. And while you're no fan of Riverview Peak High, every high school student loves Friday. Once those school bells rang, you'd be free to spend the rest of your weekend as you chose.

Maybe you'd laze around in bed all day.

Or maybe you, Tamarack and Serenity will spend a good chunk of it together, gossiping all the while.

The tinge of sleep had just begun to take you when the sound of soft clicks against your window started up. Sleep had left you easily in exchange for warm excitement, there's only one person you knew who hit the rail of your window that accurately.

You climb out of bed and open your window, unsurprised to see Tamarack sheepishly waving at you in the darkness. You wave back with a smile of your own.

Even if it was dark with the moon barely visible through the clouds, you feel like you can still see every feature that makes Tamarack Baumann 'Tamarack Baumann'.

You know she's wearing her dark blue pajamas covered in moons and stars. You see her berry-red eyes and even if it is dark you know her hair is still shining the autumn gold it's shone ever since you were children. Tamarack Baumann is one who has been painted in the colors of autumn ever since you were children, maybe even from before you've known her. You've loved her from the very start.

"I met a girl I'm gonna marry!" You remember telling your mother the very first day you moved to Golden Grove. While your mother brushed it off as puppy love in her amusement, that vow exists even now.

Tamarack Baumann is going to be your wife one day.

Thoughts of weddings and old promises are swept to the wayside when you see Tamarack's gesture to a pair of paper cups in her hand. You nod and prepare for her accurate-as-always toss. The cups were her idea when you were still young elementary schoolers and Tamarack was more wild child than nervous.

4 years later, you have yet to grow out of them.

When the cup that has your name crudely written across it in fading crayon reaches your hand, you smile fondly. "Why hello, Miss Baumann," you begin poshly yet softly, much like how Qiu used to format their introductions. "What are you doing up this fine autumn evening?"

Her giggles are music to your ear, "why I could ask you the same thing."

"This isn't about me," you chuckle softly. Maybe you found yourself a bit distracted playing Pokemon White Version to fall asleep. The grind to become the very best like no one ever was never stops, not even on a school night.

A comfortable silence falls over you both and you sigh, content. Until you notice Tamarack's fidgeting, her index finger and thumb rubbing against her hair. A nervous tick you've noticed since you were 11. "Is something up?"

"No, everything's okay," Tamarack replies almost immediately. It's a bit too quickly for you to be reassured in any capacity. "I just wanted to hear your voice, that's all."

"Tamarack," you look at Tamarack from where you stand, slouched over your window sill. You see her clearly even if she's mostly obscured by the gloom of the night. You know she is wearing her dark blue pajamas covered in moon and stars. You know her shining autumn gold hair is pulled into pigtails with soft, pastel blue bobbles. And you know her berry-red eyes don't have their usual shine. "What's wrong?"

There's a pause and you see Tamarack shuffling, unsure. You remain silent, patient as ever while you wait for your friend to find her voice.

"My parents are coming to visit," Tamarack says at last, voice thick with emotion. Your blood feels as chilly as the autumn wind. Six words packed with more pressure than any unsuspecting person would realize. "I heard Omi arguing with them on the phone again."

Tamarack's living in the cozy town where everybody knows everybody has always meant to be temporary. It's been that way from the very beginning, noticeable even when you were young children.

Tamarack's room has never been her room. It's just where she sleeps at her grandparents'.

The house she has spent the past 4 years living in is just that, a house. Not a home.

Because at some point in her stay, Tamarack's parents will come to Golden Grove and take their daughter back to the big city. The only reason she hasn't yet is simply because something always came up in the pursuit of her parents' academics.

Frederick and Nichole Baumann are anxiety-inducing anomalies in the peaceful life you've built in Golden Grove. They are scholars first and foremost and that takes precedence over everything, even their own daughter to a considerable extent. They love Tamarack, you know this. It's why they had her in the first place, that's how parents work.

Mr. and Mrs. Lin wanted a child to love so they had Qiu.

Your mother wanted a child to love so she went and made it happen on her own, no partners needed.

Dr. and Dr. Baumann, as they insist on being referred to, wanted Tamarack too.

So the logical part of your brain knows it's fair for them to decide on a whim if they want to take Tamarack back. At least, that's the conclusion you forced yourself to come to after listening to your mother and Mrs. Lin talking about the Baumann family drama in private. Tamarack is the girl you know you'll marry in the future but she isn't yours, not truly.

She can't be taken away from you if she wasn't really yours to begin with.

Yet it still hurts to think that one day you'll wake up and that will be the day Tamarack's parent decide is the day. That you'll see their car you now know fearfully to well after so many visits and see Tamarack's bags being shoved into it. That the last time you'll see Tamarack in person, it will be Tamarack waving tearfully from a car window while you try not to cry yourself.

If that thought is scary for you, you know it's doubly terrifying for Tamarack who grows more and more unsure of her place in Golden Grove each year. Does she adamantly demand to stay in Golden Grove when she knows it's meant to be temporary? Does she leave with her parents even if she doesn't feel like that's the right choice either?

This is the fork in the road she's been stuck choosing between since she came to Golden Grove. Which path should Tamarack Baumann take if she herself doesn't know what she wants?

Tamarack loves her parents and she loves her Omi and Opa. But through the Baumanns, you've learned sometimes loving someone isn't enough to make everything magically better.

The sound of Tamarack's choked sobs only serve to make you more sure of your theory.

"I'm coming over," you tell her.

"W-what?" Tamarack sniffs in surprise, but you're already throwing your cup back in her direction and running to grab your shoes.

This isn't the first time you've snuck over to Tamarack's home and this likely won't be the last. So you stick your leg over your window sill, cautiously stepping on the asphalt shingle roofing of your home, lowering yourself enough that you can drop to the ground. You ignore the minor ache of your ankles and press on. Leaves crunch under your feet and you shudder from the sudden lack of warmth.

Once you reach the tree on the side of the closest to Tamarack's side of the house, you carefully climb it. Every placement of your hand on the cool bark familiar, every knot you push off against as stable as it was the last. All until you finally reach Tamarack's window where she's made room for you to let yourself in.

You latch onto each other, the chill of your favorite season still in your bones but the warmth of Tamarack's body against yours is an immediate neutralizer.

Her fingers dig into your back with a frightening grip, nose buried in your shoulder, "what if it's serious this time?"

"It doesn't matter," your voice is more sturdy than you actually feel. Your palms are sweaty and your mind is racing a million miles per hour, your heart even more so. You hope she can't tell how nervous you are as you try to be brave enough for the both of you. "We promised, didn't we?"

Back when you were 10 and you saw Tamarack's loneliness bare and raw for the first time.

Back when the sky cried alongside her.

"I care about you and you care about me," you hug Tamarack tighter. "And it doesn't matter how we change or how old we get, we won't leave each other behind. Not even if you have to move somewhere else." It would be hard but you would make it work. Maybe if Tamarack moves, your mother will finally be compelled to buy you a cellphone.

You'd call and text everyday and count down the days until her next weekend visit. The weekends where it's impossible for her to come to Golden Grove, you'd simply go to her even if it means begging your mother weeks in advance.

"You promise?" It isn't so much a question as it a desperate plea.

"I've got you," you promise, resting your head against hers. If Tamarack is a princess, you are her knight. It's what you decided you'd be a long time ago. "I've got you."

Extra

If I had to pick a favorite lead in OL2, it would have to be Tamarack no question. So if I'm going to enter into the Halls of Writing OL fic, it's gotta be with her

Frederick and Nichole are hot but damn they are terrible parents, I look forward to seeing how they rebuild their relationship with Tamarack in the game!!! And Imma need Tamarack's grandparents to start holding their son more accountable it ain't just Nichole U.U

Anyways, I personally hc that my MC's room faces Tamarack's and there is at least one window they use to communicate. Yes, she has a stash of pebbles saved just for getting your attention

Feel free to spam my inbox with OL stuff I need more people to talk to about it

[thewritersofdeceased]

HELLOO!! Soooo I so love your Tbp content!! And This is my first time ever requesting anything, and I'm so excited for tbp 2 anyways enough of my rambling :>>

Can you please make a Vance x Reader, like for example Vance is like very into Reader but reader is terrified of him bc of his reputation and all yk? If that makes sense lol

Hey, hey! No worries about the rambling I love it! This was a blast to write!! (please anyone request more Vance stuff I love writing him so much)

Gender neutral pronouns ! 

Vance was in love.

That’s right. For once in his life, Vance Hopper was in love. It felt weird. He saw how this sort of stuff affected his parents, but he hoped this wouldn’t end up the same. His parents were a terrible duo. At least his father was. He worked with the law, and he was usually the one to show up and drag the blonde into the station. He always got annoyed. Not like Vance cared what his father thought. Let alone how many times he got dragged to the station.

No. Vance cared about what someone by the name of Y/N thought about him. That's who he was in love with. But Vance was a violent kid, a kid with a hot-temper and a couple records in the cops record book. The amount of fights he got into and the amount of times he got arrested because of them. Or the threat of charges. Now that was hell when ever a parent of a kid would threaten him with charges, let alone when it was Moose. He hated Moose. Moose was a bully, everyone knew this. Though he despised the man whenever he would go after Y/N. The amount of times those two fought and got sent to the principles office was crazy.

Way too many times could Vance recall that. But here he stood again, leaning against his locker and standing beside a couple boys. They were younger than him, he could see that. Vance was around fourteen, the oldest of the group. He was the one about to go to highschool whilst the others entered their separate grades. That was fine with him. The boys would still have connections to him, they didn't live that far and the middle school wasn't a far walk. So if any of them got hurt or in a fight, Vance could run to the middle school and help 'em. Until Billy finally hit his own Freshmen year. Griffin was the youngest, so of course it would take a bit of time for him to reach High-School.

But what if y/n and him went to different high schools? What if y/n's parents decided to leave Denver and go somewher else? A soft sigh escaped Vance as a voice to his right rang out. "C'mon, Vance. You have to talk to them sooner or later." The voice to the right of him was Bruce Yamada, the second oldest of the group. "Right. They're scared of me, dumbass." Vance commented, rolling his eyes as he leaned his head against the locker. It only stiffed a laugh out of Bruce, who raised his brow and gently nudged Vance's shoulder. Bruce knew why people were weary of the group, and it was all because of Vance's reputation. But he wasn't the one to speak up next, no. Griffin did. Even if the boy hardly spoke, being selective Mute. "It's your reputation, Vance." The youngest boy thought of the blonde like an older brother.

Which, Vance didn't mind. He would protect the youngest kid with his life. He'd protect any of these kids with his life, even if he died. Well, he didn't want to die, that was for sure. A sigh escaped him as his arms crossed. "Well, then I've gotta pick up my act, ain't I? If I want a chance with them?" This surprised the younger and second oldest. "You really plan on changing your ways, Vance?" Bruce asked as he stared at the blonde with messy hair. It'd be a challenge for the fighter. He knew that for sure. But he needed to change if he'd have a chance with Y/N. A low sigh escaped Vance as he crossed his arms and hummed. "I have to. I like 'em, you all know this." He reminded, trying to keep himself calm as he watched y/n interact with their friends.

This may take a while, but if he wanted to talk to them? He had to do it. He had to stop getting into fights, as bad as that would be. Specifically when it came to Moose. Or Buzz and Matt, and even Matty. He was a fighter, but he'd stop for his crush. Lower his reputation one way or another.

[flowerandblood]

oh my god, the fragment of your short story is very cool and your illustration looks beautiful😍😍😍. I'm always extremely happy when I see Slavic mythology somewhere (I'm from Slovakia). I keep my fingers crossed for your work, it will definitely be amazing

ps: I wish you a early recovery

Beloved Husband

Especially for you, the entire story is translated below

[ warnings: character death, violence, progressive madness, depression, mourning ]

Although it had been two springs since her beloved closed his eyes forever, it seemed to her that just a moment ago she was standing at his side in front of the altar in a small wooden church. She was clad that day in her new linen chemise and kaftan, under which stretched her skirt sewn from long, colourful strips, embroidered by her own hands over many nights.

That morning, her mother herself had collected fresh flowers in the field, from which she later wove a beautiful garland of daisies and forget-me-nots for her. The smell of baking cake spread throughout the room as her sisters helped her dress and prepare to leave her family home.

All her belongings, which consisted of several linen shirts and woollen skirts, two kaftans, one winter coat, two pairs of shoes − one for colder days, the other festive, only for church − hair pins, a set of bedding and a holy picture she had received as a gift from her godparents, fit easily into a small wooden chest decorated with painterly ornaments.

Her beloved was beautiful, joyful and kind, his lips curving into a lazy smile at the sight of her, for he had loved her ever since she could remember. He called out to her when she returned from the fair, when she left church with her parents, he made her laugh by looking at her over the fence as she fed her geese, by telling her made-up tales and legends.

He would come to her parents with gifts, wishing them to look upon him with a more favourable eye, as he was poorer than they were − she was the daughter of a respectable farmer, while he was the son of a simple serf peasant apprenticed to a blacksmith.

Although her guardians at first regarded him with disapproval and reserve, they eventually recognised his industriousness, which also brought him a tangible income. He spent days and nights in the forge, creating things that were not only useful and durable, but also beautiful, appreciated by the villagers and the heirs of the manor houses.

Without delay, he came to the aid of his future parents-in-law when the hinges of their doors and shutters began to loosen and fall off. He forged new ones for them, beautifully fitted, with indentations and swirls, which they later showed off to their neighbours. She watched it all from afar, daring to offer him only her warm, happy smile and a gratitude that filled his heart with fervent hope.

− Wait for me, pretty dove − he called out to her then, and she laughed, not even thinking of marrying another.

His approach full of patience and understanding eventually won the hearts of her parents. Her father decided, after some thought, that it was good to have such a swift, hard-working son-in-law, who, in addition, was cordial to the women.

He believed that he would certainly be a good and gentle husband, who would not hit or shout at his daughter, and who would also gladly drink vodka with his father-in-law, and would conduct a conversation well, as his mind was sharp and enlightened.

She knew that she had caught God by the feet when they finally agreed to give him her hand, and she did not hide her joy. She thanked her Lord during every evening prayer for the fact that she did not have to marry a drunkard, a scoundrel, but a kind, handsome, hard-working young man, at the sight of whom she felt warmth melt through her heart.

Not even one spring of their marital happiness had passed when her beloved fainted, having returned from the forge all hot and fiery. He coughed terribly and babbled, only making it home with the help of their neighbour. They laid him on the bed together, wondering what to do. Fear then overtook her and she immediately sent for an herbalist who lived a few huts away.

The woman arrived in the evening and, without saying anything or demanding payment, prepared water over the cooker by throwing dried leaves and herbs into it, muttering something at the same time. After these mysterious procedures, she gave her decoction to her husband, ordering him to drink.

She rejoiced, for the colours returned to his countenance, for life returned to his members, for he recognised her, calling her his pretty dove.

Her heart was filled anew with hope. Lying by his side at night, she prayed fervently, thanking God for his grace.

Only in the morning, when the first rays of the sun woke her up, wanting to attend to her daily chores and prepare his morning meal, did she feel that the body lying next to her was cold and stiff.

She was afraid to look at him, and when she finally did, she saw his face, pale and blue, his lips parted slightly, as if he were in fact still asleep. She tried to wake him, at first with a whisper, then with cries and wails, clamping her fingers over his body, but his eyelids never opened again.

She couldn't name what was happening to her. It seemed to her as if her speech had been completely taken away. Her body was left without strength, her mind became blank, dulled. She lay next to him, looking at his face, holding his cold hand in hers, unable to let go of the thought that the only thing left of him was his body.

She didn't understand what her mother was saying, stroking her cheeks and shoulders as they stood over his grave on the day of his funeral. She stared at the simple wooden cross stuck into the fresh, damp earth, listening to the women wailing and crying raucously around the coffin, chanting mournful hymns that only increased her despondency.

It seemed to her that her mind was foggy and sluggish. She drank, she ate, she did her chores, but she did not feel or experience anything. Her body was as if in a state of prolonged shock. In her mind there was still the conviction that her husband would cross the threshold of their home as he did every evening, that he would take her in his arms, speaking of his longing, that they would sit down to supper together, recounting what the day had brought them.

Her parents, seeing the impact of her bereavement and such a sudden loss, ordered her to return to the family home, which she did. From then on, she helped them with their daily chores, as she had done when she was still a maiden.

She would speak to them and be in their company, but her mind seemed to be out of her body, the emptiness that filled her began to be slowly replaced by a progressive rage and irritation, as she noticed that everyone had begun to forget about him. They laughed and smiled, got drunk and danced as he lay there, deep underground, alone.

Shrill thoughts flashed through her head as she lay alone at night under her quilt. Her heart squeezed with pain at the notion that perhaps the gravedigger had not buried him deep enough and his body would be desecrated by wolves or stray dogs or, God forbid, her poor beloved would wake up in his wooden grave and be unable to get out, driving his nails helplessly into the wooden lid.

She would cry aloud then, burying her face in her hands, holding her thoughts and pains deep inside her, feeling that no one else would understand her suffering, that only he, her dearest, if he were still alive, could comfort her.

It was then that she heard him for the first time since the day he closed his eyes forever: the loud, clear rustling of the grass and the quiet cracking of the branches beneath his feet.

She rose quickly, feeling the aggressive, chest-shattering pounding of her heart. A cold sweat ran down her back as she leaned out uncertainly to look out of the window.

There was no one in the courtyard.

She sat still for a moment, feeling a tightness in her throat at the thought that there was a graveyard beyond the woods overlooking her small room.

The next day she lay down to sleep faster than usual, excusing herself to her family for being unwell, feeling a pleasant tingling in her fingers and excitement at the thought that perhaps her beloved would visit her again, give her some sign, tell her what he needed. No one came, however, and salty tears of regret and disappointment ran down her cheeks as she lay, facing the window, watching the first rays of the sun.

She wandered off to the cemetery in the morning, explaining to her relatives that she wished to place fresh flowers on her late husband's grave. However, when she arrived at the site, she found to her disbelief and dismay that although grass should have grown on the grave long ago, the sand on it was still wet and fresh, as if he had been buried only the day before.

Walking back home along the dirt road, wrapping herself in a warm woollen shawl, she thought of her grandmother's stories. Of how people who had died, called wraiths, rose from their graves to haunt their families, peering down on their children and placing cold, corpse-like kisses on the lips of their wives and husbands.

At this thought she felt heat in her lower abdomen, a pleasant tickling sensation engulfed her fingertips and lips, and she imagined that her beloved had come to her then, that night, wanting to prove to her that he remembered her, that he loved her and could not leave without her.

The realisation that he could wander still in the world without knowing a holy rest both frightened and delighted her at the same time, that their love could be stronger than death, that his desire to stay with her was more important to him than the will of God himself, who had called him to join him.

She stopped and trembled as she heard a loud rustling in the depths of a field filled all around with tall, golden wheat. She lifted herself up on tiptoe, feeling the rumbling of her yearning heart, looking around carefully. Her breathing became raspy and loud, full of excitement.

− My love? − She heard her own trembling, warm voice, sounding as if a mother was calling her child, wanting to give him courage.

However, she saw nothing, nor did she hear any reply.

Nevertheless, the conviction that her husband was still prowling the earth and watching her was growing stronger within her. Candles would suddenly burn out in the rooms she was in, although no one passed by them, doors would open with a loud creak of old wood even though no one was standing behind them. She was awakened at night by a quiet tapping on the windowpanes that kept her awake. She had the impression that she heard someone's footsteps even when there was no one in the room but her.

She whispered to him each time, asking him to appear to her. She would convince him that his cadaverous, pale face would certainly not scare her away, that he still remained her beloved, her only one.

He did not answer.

It seemed to her that she was slowly losing her mind. She was getting thinner and thinner, her face becoming pale, bruises from dozens of sleepless nights surrounding her lifeless eyes. Her parents, worried about her behaviour and the fact that the slightest sound or movement made her flinch as she looked around the rooms, suggested that perhaps it was time to find her a new husband.

− You will have your children, and he too will comfort you with a kind word and a strong embrace of his arms − her mother said. She looked at her dully, feeling that her pale lips trembled parted in disbelief. Cold sweat trickled down her neck, her fingers clenched tightly on the material of her skirt.

That night, she cried aloud with her face pressed into her pillow, calling for her beloved, her kindest, cursing him and begging him to relieve her suffering, to prevent her from being given away to any other man, because they had promised each other that they would be together, now and for eternity.

It was then that she heard him again − the quiet crackling and rustling outside her window, someone's footsteps so clear that her heart leapt into her throat. She pulled herself up from her bed and looked out of the window, pressing her palms against the glass. A pitiful, low sob escaped from her throat as she spotted a male figure disappearing deep into the dark woods.

She got up quickly, putting a warm blanket over herself, and slipped out of her family home in only her nightgown, moving after the mysterious silhouette, wanting to shout for him to stop, fearing, however, that she would startle him. Seeing only the full moon and stars above her, she trudged through the tall shrubs, the needles of the pines and the sharp stones beneath her feet hurting her skin.

She knew that in order to reach the cemetery she had to walk straight ahead, and despite her fear, her heart was filled with courage, because for him, for her beloved, she was willing to do anything.

A loud sigh of relief left her lungs when she finally stood at the border of the forest, seeing clearly the outlines of wooden and iron crosses. She froze completely when she noticed a male figure leaning deeply into one of the grave pits. A broad smile appeared on her face for the first time since fate had separated them.

− My beloved! − She shouted with joy, with hope, with relief, drenched in tears, running towards him with confidence, thinking only of throwing herself into his arms again, of speaking to him again, of hearing his voice again.

My pretty dove.

She stopped halfway, feeling her heart freeze, shivers ran along her spine as the man she was running towards jumped out of the pit like a burned man.

She saw his terrified eyes, he was panting heavily as if he was some wild animal, raising his hands high in the air. She found to her horror that she did not recognise either his face or his figure, looking at him in the moonlight. He was older and taller than her husband, dressed in dark, dirty trousers and coat, his large hands black from the ground.

Only after a moment did she notice a long shovel lying next to his feet, a sack lay immediately next to it, she swallowed with difficulty recognising in its contents something that resembled shimmering gold jewellery in the moonlight.

The stranger moved suddenly towards her, grabbing earlier a shovel lying on the ground. She screamed loudly, throwing herself into flight, understanding her mistake, her stupidity, her naivety. She stumbled several times over tombstones and tree roots, her sore feet seeming to scream with every step she took.

Her voice stuck in her throat when suddenly something dull and hard hit her heavily on the back of her head, then again and again; she fell to the ground, panting heavily. Everything around her seemed to spin, she no longer recognised shapes or where she was, warm liquid ran down her forehead, the metallic taste of blood that had flooded her face melted between her lips.

She wanted to scream for rescue to her beloved, to her parents, but she was unable to get the words out. She cried out loudly and drew in a loud breath, bursting out crying when she felt his large, rough hands clamp down on her bare calves, pulling her back on the ground. Her fingers impulsively dug into the sand and grass, fruitlessly trying to resist him, something akin to a grunt escaped her throat.

My God, have mercy.

She was already completely limp when he threw her into the middle of the grave. No sound left her lips as the heavy, cold sand began to fall on her body. Her empty gaze, from which the life was slowly escaping, was fixed on the bright moon disc spreading over her head.

Before the last breath left her lungs, a thought flashed through her dying mind, from which she smiled gratefully at the stranger who stood high above her like death itself.

I will see him again.

_____

Illustrations and text are created by me. Do not repost.

[idyllcy]

Flower

Word count: 1.9k

Content Warnings: reader changes gender with each revival, mcd (over and over again), homophobia (by the law it's the 1900s)

Summary: You just. keep dying

99:99:99:99:98

The first time Hinata meets his soulmate, the clock on his wrist hits 0:00 right as he watches a woman fall over from an arrow to the head. Hinata found it horrendously strange. Surely it wasn't them? Yet, as he pauses to look at the body while the rest of the army charges into the village, the watch on his wrist changes to a new number. It was the dead body.

Hinata groans, fleeing the scene as the rest of the army breaks into the village.

The red bleeds with the color of the stained dirt, and Hinata's breath grows ragged as he dodges arrows and swords. The horses will arrive soon, he thinks. His heart races in his chest, praying, begging that somehow he would be able to escape this. As he runs through the woods into a cottage, something pierces his wrist, and he watches in horror as his clock cracks. He pauses, lips parted in shock, and he stares at the soldiers as they try to strike him. His skin doesn't bleed. He stares at the sword stabbed through him, staring down at the metal and the lack of blood. He pulls the blade from his skin, staring at the man before him. How fun.

87:24:13:92:42

The second time Hinata meets his soulmate, they're a man. 

His timer is still cracked, healing slowly. He's made use of himself, working back and forth for the villagers, acting as a doctor's assistant. He doesn't know how many towns he's changed, but he's always started over when he did. It's always a lie.

"I'm new here." He is not.

"Doctor!" A woman rushes in a young person. Hinata assumes they work in the fields. It's another case of smallpox. Hinata glances at the clock. The clock on his wrist burns, and he stares down at the dying man. "Please help my son!"

The woman is hauled out as she cries, and Hinata glances at the clock once the doctor proclaims him dead. Another life. Then.

"Dead at Twelve forty-two, on the Nineteenth of December, the year of seventeen twenty four." Hinata reads. "My greatest condolences, madam."

She sobs, screaming in the crowd, the wails that could stir up the dead, and he watches as she is locked away for hysterics, and he stares at the timer on his wrist. Ah. It restarted again. That must've been his soulmate. 

He locks eyes with the dead man, offering him a lily. "May we meet again."

79:91:91:99:96

The third time he meets, they're a child. A young child. A child that coughs and throws up blood on the field, and he rushes to his aid, patting his back, trying to get his air pipe to work. It doesn't. Nature takes people in the cruelest ways at the worst times. Yet, he sits in the field, the child on his lap, mumbling quiet fairy tales he grew up with as the child loses his life.

He can't love them. They're a child.

He can't have them. They're dead. 

His hair has grown longer now. It frames his face, and he sighs, staring at the timer that has less cracks this time around. 

"Thus, the maiden live happily ever after," He looks into the distance, the lack of a parent. So, he takes the body with him, giving him a proper burial, leaving a lily at the grave, silently offering his prayers to send him to the next life safely. 

He gets back onto his feet, standing at the grave, staring wordlessly at the single flower.

He wonders when he'll meet them again

66:91:90:87:13

The fourth time he meets them, they're an old woman. She hisses and smacks people with her cane, sitting down in the pub for a pint of beer. Hinata doesn't know why he moved, even with the endless racism directed at him. He wonders if he'll be something more than a worker in a sugarfield. It's terribly hot on the islands. Yet, he blinks slowly at the woman and she stares back at him.

"What a fine young fella," She laughs, ignoring the burning of time on her wrist. "So? What brings you here? You seem to be a field worker."

"Yes." Hinata sits next to her, staring at the timer on his wrist. It's hit zero again. "Soulmate?"

"I'm too old for you, dearie. I should be out rotting in my good for nothing brother's house, but I can't stand it there." She laughs.

It's surprisingly boisterous for someone who seemed to be aged beyond belief.

"So? You look mighty young. What happened?"

"It's a long story," Hinata presses the beer to his lips, chuckling. "How about you?"

"My life has been long, but I suppose it's great. The war is coming, dearie."

"Gives me deja vu."

The woman presses a pill to her lips, biting down, the poison spreading through her body.

Hinata catches her before she can fall, and she brings her back to her brother's house, where she's given a funeral. He stands there, her granddaughter tilting her head at her, asking if he had met his soulmate yet. He doesn't have the heart to tell her that she just passed away.

"My timer got damaged." He shows the young girl. "It is still healing."

"I hope it heals soon." She smiles. 

52:91:42:24:58

The fifth time Hinata meets his soulmate, the two of them are on the battlefield again. It's a man. He's not as surprised as he should be, but he finds himself sitting in the air force base, talking to a young man, a smile on their faces, a grin on their lips. It's his soulmate, but he can't have them. Not this time. Perhaps not the next. Hinata does not know when he will be able to.

His soulmate is a Kamikaze pilot. It breaks his heart.

"Can't you run away with me?" Hinata quips cheekily, a smile on his lips.

"I can't." He shakes his head. "I must die for the country, for that is the greatest way to go out."

"That is not true." Hinata frowns.

"And besides." He stares at the timer on his wrist. "It is a mistake."

Hinata's words catch in his throat, his heart-shattering in his ears. Yes. It was illegal. It was against the law. There was no such thing as a boy loving a boy, for they were both sinners under the law.

"Do you think I will be reborn as a woman in my next life?" The man stares at the alarm as it starts blaring. 

"Even if you are not," Hinata rests his forehead on his, just for a moment, the skip of the clock, a heartbeat. "I will still love you."

Hinata wakes up the next day to the list of dead pilots. 

His soulmate was one of them.

47:82:14:24:45

The sixth time Hinata meets his soulmate, they're a baby. A literal baby.

A baby who had died in the first bombing of Hiroshima. 

Hinata helps the rest of the victims who had suffered from the radiation, but as one of them hand their crying baby to him, his breath hitches. His soulmate. Died.

Again.

A baby this time. A child who had just been born.

Hinata fights the tears in his throat, and he grimaces at the baby.

"Sir?"

"It's fine." He holds the child to his chest, pausing, spacing out, heartbreaking. "I'm sorry about the child."

"It's alright." The woman smiles sadly. "He would have been gorgeous, just like his father."

Yes. 

After all, you've been gorgeous in every life he's met you.

32:13:14:48:02

The seventh time Hinata meets his soulmate, she's a woman well into her twenties. She's married despite the lack of soulmates, but she's married. 

"Happy to be married, miss?" He slides into the seat next to her at the diner, raising a brow.

"Mm," She fiddles with the ring on her finger. "Married well, yes. I'm not sure how great of a husband he would be considered, though."

"That's unfortunate." He smiles, staring at the timer on his wrist. "I heard there are cases of abusive husbands lately."

"That's true," The woman laughs. "Well, what brings such a looker as you here to this part of town? This is where all the ladies hang out, you know?"

"Yes." Hinata hums. "I thought it would be the place to find you." He stares at the timer on her wrist, and she follows his gaze.

"Ah, so you're my soulmate." She smiles. "It's a shame I'm married already. I can't get a divorce in a society such as this."

"I'm aware." Hinata shakes his head. "Well, I hope you—"

"Stay for a little, will you?" She smiles at him, sadly, maybe. It was as if you knew the two of you were star-crossed. "Just to listen?"

She rambles to him about her life, from the excitement of marrying into a wealthy family to the doom of her life after the marriage, and she talks about the kids. The children. She loves her children even if the family was terrible for her. She lost count of how many mistresses her husband had, and she lost count of how many times she's thrown her wedding ring away in frustration.

"So?" Hinata tilts his head at her. "Will you leave with me?"

"I can not, for I have children." She smiles at him. "Our lives will overlap soon. I promise."

You ended up killing yourself the day the children turned 18.

Hinata stares at the headline of the newspaper.

"Gold digger commits suicide after children turn of age!"

Hinata throws his copy into the trash.

15:13:45:28:06

The eighth time he meets his soulmate, he's volunteering at a mental hospital. He's not sure if it's for the aesthetic, but his hair has grown long beyond repair, and he has to tie everything back.

His soulmate is a teenager, sitting in their room, drawing on the walls.

"Lunchtime."

"I can't believe my soulmate is a grown ass man."

"I know." Hinata sighs. "Come on. Get to lunch."

"What's being served today?"

"I don't know." Hinata leads them to the dining room, and they sit down, eating. 

"I want to grow up faster."

"No you don't."

"I don't."

Hinata stares at the hanging body from the ceiling fan this time, sighing, dialing the number for the janitors. 

He wonders when the next time will be.

00:00:00:04:03

The final time Hinata meets his soulmate, you're on campus in a university. Hinata doesn't know how long he's waited for the moment, but as he locks eyes with you across the campus, he's running. He doesn't know why he enrolled in the college to get a degree when he was richer beyond comprehension. He doesn't know why he decided this college of all the possible choices, but as he's chasing you down the block, he thinks he knows.

"Timer!" He yells, grabbing your wrist, pointing at his own as it hits zero. "Soulmates. We're soulmates." He pants. "I'm so sorry if I come off as creepy. I've just been." He heaves. "I've just been looking for you since forever ago."

You blink at him, eyes wide, throat dry.

"Um, yeah!" You free your wrist, and you stare at the time. "So, um. Name?"

"Hinata," He smiles. "Hajime Hinata."

"Pleasure to meet you."

"Please don't die again."

"I'll try not to this time."

Hinata makes sure of it.

[blueshistorysims]

Easter Holiday, 1909, Newcrest, England

The moment Byron and Alexander returned home for Easter, Alexander sat his parents sat down and told them he’d been invited to have Easter dinner with Edith’s family.

“I told Mrs. Smith I accepted. I don’t think it would be proper for me to continue courting the Smiths’ daughter if I have not met them.”

Peter nodded. “I understand. I am glad our family does an Easter brunch rather than dinner, that way you’ll be with us for most of the day.”

“Edith is a lovely girl,” Rebecca added, smiling. She was proud of her son.

“...While I am there, I am going to ask Mr. Smith permission to marry his daughter, and when I graduate from Willow Creek College, I intend to propose.”

Peter and Rebecca stared blankly at their son with the exact same expression.

“You will not!” Rebecca shouted.

Alexander stared back. “Why not? I love her, and she loves me.”

“...You’re young, Alexander. You shouldn’t be getting married the moment you set eyes on a girl.”

“Edith and I have been official beaus for over a year, and we’ve been courting since I turned 14.”

“And where would you get a ring, you have no job.”

“Granny said I could have hers.”

Rebecca pursed her lips. She would have a conversation with her mother-in-law later. “No, I forbid it.”

Alexander crossed arms. “Like you forbid Edeline from following her dreams?”

“Watch your tone, young man,” Peter warned.

“I don’t understand why she can’t go to school. Wouldn’t it be a wonderful to have a doctor in the family? There have been female physicians for many years. The world is modernizing, and I don’t think England nor Edeline should be left behind in these matters. If it means I must take loan out, I will help my sister.”

Rebecca was silent, looking away from her son and husband.

“...You may ask permission to marry Edith, but do not consider proposing until you have a year of university under your belt. I would feel more at ease. I like Edith very much, and it will do you good to wait. I waited until I graduated until I proposed to your mother for that reason.

Alexander sighed, knowing this was the best outcome he would get. Edith had already promised to wait for him. Two years was a long time, but not unbearable.

Her eldest son had given her much to chew on. He would risk his own financial ruin just to give his sister a chance. Just because she thought it was improper, was it really worth losing her relationship with her eldest?

Rebecca knocked on the door and opened it after being a muffled yes. “Edeline? Can I speak with you?”

Her daughter looked up but didn’t respond. 

Rebecca sat on her bed and sighed. “I’ve been terrible to you these past nine months. I have been ignorant, and in my ignorance, I’ve failed to see your plight and suffering. I didn’t eye to eye with my mother either.”

Edeline swallowed. “You mean you’ll let me attend university?”

“I will speak to your father about costs, but I suspect I have held him back with my stubbornness. I will have your brothers help you, whether they want to or hot. But at least one of you will have to have some kind of scholarship. 

“Oh, thank you, Mama!” She squealed, flinging her arms around her mother.

Rebecca swallowed back tears and hugged her tightly. Oh, how terrible of a mother she had been.

[captainjimothycarter]

okay but peggy accidentally calling phillips "dad" one day asdfhdjfjdhs

Okay, I imagined that scene from Brooklyn 99 where Jake calls Holt dad but instead, this came out from Phillip’s POV and it’s just a hot mess. I have no idea what this is, lmao.

But I absolutely love this idea, it just slips and they just run with it. This took me longer to write than it should've, but damn my sinuses.

It's on AO3 Too! 

--

“Carter, this needs your lookover before I approve of sending your boys out lollygagging in California for two weeks.”

Lord knows he’d send Rogers and Barnes to Alaska if it get them out of his hair for two weeks. Some quiet and...well, he might miss the buggers. Carter on the other hand, she never minded time away, but he knew her focus would be on breaking down the intel that they’d so generally taken from the last raid of an underground Hydra base.

He didn’t even see Carter get up from the desk, felt the file tugged from his hands as he turned to focus on the next bunch. File after file, that’s all his job had become. Safer behind a desk where he wasn’t signing letters telling parents their poor son had died in a worthless war.

“They’re not lollygagging,” Carter told him, gently chiding him for the tenth time. “They’re pulling Stark out of whatever the hell he’s doing to get his ass back here. We’re close to finishing Project Playground.” 

“The Playground,” Phillips mumbled, shaking his head. “Who comes up with these ridiculous names? Here, make sure they get this too.”

“If I remember correctly,” she hummed, snatching the black bag from his hand. “You do, Dad.”

Did she - 

No, no there was no damn way that he heard that correctly. There was no way on this God Green Earth that Carter had called him dad.

It must’ve been the years he’s spent next to the artillery that caused his ears to ring, for him to lose his hearing. There was no damn way he’d heard Carter of all people call him dad. Sure, he could see one of Rogers’ posse doing this as a joke or even Barnes while laughing his tail off but not Carter.

Carter might’ve been the closest thing he had to a daughter and unfortunately, that meant came with Rogers technically being his son-in-law and whatever the hell Barnes was to either of them, but Carter knew her father. Her mother might’ve been a piece of work and Rogers’ mother had adopted her right up as a ‘daughter she never had’ but the point still stood.

Well, all logic went out the window the second that he looked over to her, after what must’ve been a mistake, a slip of the tongue, and well - the pure panic in her expression said it all. He would’ve let it go, brushed it off as a slip of the tongue, a mistake they all made but it became impossible to ignore when he heard Barnes’ terrible attempts at stifling his laughter.

To give him some credit, the man was trying to cover his mouth but the longer he tried to stop himself from laughing, the harder he started to laugh until he was doubled over, hands on his knees and the sound of his laughter echoed around them.

At least Rogers had some sense to not laugh and throw Barnes a look, not that Barnes could see either his or Carter’s look. Damn, that woman knew how to give meaning to if looks could kill. There was certainly a venomous quality to her look. 

“I’m going for some fresh air,” Carter announced before promptly marching out of the room.

The silence left behind was tense, at least Barnes had caught himself and stopped giggling, clearing his throat. He looked between them and where the door Carter had just marched out of.

“I should...” He started to say, throwing a thumb towards the door, Rogers stopping him mid-sentence with a slow shake of his head.

“You two should do the job I pay you for,” Phillips grumbled at them, rising to his feet. He brushed off their concerned look, following after Carter’s mumbling.

It didn’t take long to find her pacing the hall, hearing her mumbling only growing louder as he stepped closer. He leaned into the wall, arms crossed over his chest, and watched her for a while. It was the embarrassment of the situation that got to her, amongst he knew, but as he watched her struggle to light a cigarette, thinking better of it before shoving the objects hidden underneath the false brick in the pillar, he couldn’t help but smirk.

“Y’know, I would be proud to call you my daughter,” he told her after a minute, making sure that brick wasn’t in her hand. He knew her tendency to swing when startled and her impeccable aim with any projectile in her hands.

“Sir, I didn’t-”

Phillips shook his head and smiled at her, those rare types of smiles that showed past the chiseled walls the old colonel had built around himself to protect himself. Those very walls that these three damn idiots, the ones responsible for his stress and anyeriusms, he swore, had chiseled away at overtime.

They got on his nerves, they drove him to the brink of insanity. They annoyed him. They disobeyed every damn rule he’s ever laid in place but he knew their reasoning. Beyond all the white collar, bureaucracy, and political bullshit that was their jobs, he knew at the end of the day those three would do whatever it took to do the right thing.

He knew from the very first day that he’d met Carter, she was different. She had a spark, a flame of life that no white-collar asshole could ever tame. She needed to prove herself time and time again, no matter what it took.

That's what he admired about her and, unfortunately, for him, that spark just only grew by the time she met Rogers. They both carried that damn fire.

“Peggy, listen,” Phillips said in a soft tone that asked her to just listen to him. “I’m honored that you see me like that. It was a slip of a tongue but I couldn’t be more proud to see you as my daughter. You’re everything I would’ve wanted to call my own kin.”

“You’re not getting soft on me, are you?” Peggy teased, blinking hard to fight back the tears. “I-” 

She stopped and cleared her throat, trying to find the right words to say. There were none, of all the words in the English dictionary, none could be summoned to describe the feelings rising in both of them. Instead, he acted first. He pulled her into a tight hug, feeling her arms wrap around him.

“I’m proud of you, Peggy,” he told her as they pulled away, gently wiping away the stray tear from her face. “I’m proud of all that you’ve done and all that you will do. Even if you did bring those two numbnuts into my life.”

“Y’know we can hear you!” Bucky called down the hall. “You have to admit we made your life better, Chester!”

Barnes was the only damn one who was brave enough - no, stupid enough to ever call him by his first name. Yet, all he could do was laugh softly at Carter’s eyes sparkling as she laughed. 

“You made my life a living hell!” He called back to Bucky.

“No,” Peggy corrected. “We made your life more interesting, Dad.”

[lonelywretchjervistetch]

My DC Cinematic Universe: Batman (Part I)

Prologue: The Endless Night

...How the hell am I supposed to start this one? I mean, Jesus Christ, it's Batman. Comparing Batman to Superman, this is a much harder film to plot out for me. Why? Well, frankly, Batman's been a lot luckier in media than Superman has. Some of the greatest comic book movies of all time are Batman films, after all. Not to mention the fact that we all know Batman as a character by now, and Superman's never really been that lucky. So, again...how the hell am I supposed to do this?

Well, I guess I just start in the same way that I did the last one, right? Defining my version of Batman/Bruce Wayne. And that's not terribly difficult...but it also isn't exactly new territory at the same time. Still, I'll give it a shot here. So, I'll start with exactly that: Who is Batman?

Chapter One: Redefining the Defined

The simple answer to this question is as such: Batman is the real identity, while Bruce Wayne is the mask. A hot take? No, most certainly not a hot take at this point. Most interpretations of the character realize this to a certain degree, although that degree is highly variable in some cases. But the point here is that Batman is essentially the reverse of Superman, in most ways. Day vs. night, colorful vs. greyscale, lawful vs. chaotic, and hope vs. fear. But both are still good. And I think movies seem to forget that about Batman.

Look, Batman walking the edge of the abyss isn't a fresh take either, but more often than not, filmmakers tend to throw him a little bit into it. Moreso than I think they should. Batman is chaotic or neutral good alignment, yes, but he's still good aligned, no matter what. And he's also an extremely complex character, almost absurdly so in many cases. Because of that, a lot of his character is simplified, and frankly, the character is usually pretty Flanderized in media nowadays.

Ah, yes, Flanderizing. The idea of taking a complex character, full of nuance and personality and a past of their own, and simplifying them into base characteristics to the point of absurdity and exaggeration. It's what happened to Ned Flanders in The Simpsons, but it happens to a LOT of superheroes. Superman's one of the worst affected by this, mostly being simplified to his powers and goodness, with the personality and character completely lost in the shuffle. But even then...Batman is WAY worse.

Whenever people think of Batman, their minds go to a few places. A tough brooding loner, instilling fear into the hearts of criminals, still mourning the loss of his parents to a near-sociopathic degree, and taking out his grief on the faces of clowns and wrestlers alike. Also, his voice is gruff and raspy. And OK, that's a take on the character, sure, but goddamn is that an oversimplification. And that oversimplification leads to...other issues.

But before I go into too much detail there, let me define what my Batman is once and for all. Batman is justice, teetering on the edge of vengeance. He believes in a true moral right, but doesn't trust the systems in place in Gotham to enforce that right, placing it into his own hands as a result. Makes him a bit of a control freak, but it also makes him scarily efficient and proficient. He's a brilliant man and self-trained detective and expert in many field. He's a worldly man and proficient athlete, honing himself for the singular purpose of exacting justice like no other person possibly could.

However, he's also a very damaged person, in desperate need of therapy, but with the singular purpose of mind that makes him confidently believe in self-control over his own mental state, to the point of obsession and exaggeration. Yes, he walks on the edge of the abyss, but he's always aware of that edge, and doesn't actually want to fall into it. However, he embraces the darkness that lies within it as a tool for justice, rather than a part of his self-perception.

With that said, some of you may be thinking...haven't we already seen this in other versions of the character? And we have...partially. But let's get into it, and I'll try and explain my specific version of the character a little better. Because every version got something right...but nobody got everything right. And I do mean every version.

Adam West's Batman, despite the goofy-ass Silver-Age Universe he was in, definitely got the hero and do-gooder part of the character down pat. Other than the superficial stuff, like the gadgets and the Batcave and all that, West's silly iteration of the character wanted to do good for no other reason than it being the right thing to do. And yeah, that's accurate. Batman wants to do the right thing because too few people in Gotham want to or can, and somebody fucking has to. Batman being in alliance with a moral good is an important and often overlooked part of the character.

Michael Keaton's excellent turn as Batman in the Burton films definitely got the damaged billionaire thing right. Maybe a little too right, in fact. This version of Batman was a detective and crusader of the night, as well as a crusader for justice, but he was way more damaged than most versions of the character tend to be. The line between Bruce and Bat was appropriately blurred, but it also made it very obvious that they were the same person. Still, Keaton correctly played the character as teetering on the edges of madness and obsession. His "Bruce" left a little something to be desired, though.

I'd bring up Kilmer and Clooney here, but they sort of copy West in terms of their Batmen. Even then, they barely had personality to begin with, and they definitely aren't quite worth talking about.

Hoo boy, Christian Bale. This Batman is a truly interesting one, because he embraces fear far more than most of the rest do. Sure, Keaton's Batman is a little spooky, but Bale's Batman really dials up the idea of a fear-generating force of the night. His Bruce Wayne truly is a mask, distancing himself greatly from the identity of Batman, in almost a direct response to the Keaton Batman. However, this Batman also loses most of the detective angle, and instead leans into the vengeance-seeking vigilante who actively murders people. And yes, I mean that. Not saving somebody is effectively the same as murdering them, Bruce. Not that Keaton's Batman is any better, since he actively kills a few people. We'll, uh...we'll get to that problem later.

Anyway, Bale's Batman is good for a lot of things, but he's a simplified version of the character. Like, I can call that Batman a lot of things, but he's not particularly smart, for one. And for two, he's not particularly heroic, either. I mean, yeah, he saves the city three times, but it's usually based off personal stakes or a challenge to him directly. It's not really about doing the right thing in these instances. But that's NOTHING compared to...

Fuck Batfleck, if I can just say that right now. Batfleck is a really shitty version of this character, and has ESSENTIALLY NOTHING that Batman should have. He's a murderer, his actions are inherently cruel, he's a stupid and easily manipulated IDIOT who never does any difficult detective work, and he's a brute and a cad. Fuck this version of Batman. Fuck him, fuck him, fuuuuuuuuuck hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiim. The depths to which I hate this stupid, STUPID moron cannot be overestimated. Take the rightfully lambasted Martha scene.

I know the Martha scene is an easy target, but it's far easier than most people realize. Yeah, the fact that he stops fighting Superman immediately because of the coincidence of their mom's names is really stupid, but it also shows just how little Bruce thought about this shit, or about Superman in general. Not only did that catch him by surprise, but the fact that Superman HAD A MOM caught him by surprise, because he hadn't considered to think of him as a person. Think about that. Like, really think about that.

Every incarnation, and I mean EVERY incarnation of Batman that's interacted with Superman has deduced his secret identity as Clark Kent, quickly and easily. For fucks sake, it wouldn't even be that hard, THEY TALK TO EACH OTHER AS CLARK AND BRUCE IN THE MOVIE. But Bruce clearly didn't realize that Superman was Clark Kent at the time, and if he did...what, he did NO fucking research on the dude? This version of Bruce was thoroughly unprepared to face of against Superman, and didn't look into him AT ALL, before immediately jumping to conclusions while wearing that fucking Frank Miller armor of his. And don't get me STARTED on Frank fucking Miller's culpability in the Flanderization of Batman, because we'll be here ALL FUCKING DAY. FUCK THIS BATMAN WITH ALL OF MY HEART AND SOUL.

...OK, I think I got it all out of my system. For now. Seriously, I could keep going on about it, but I got other shit to talk about. Like, for example, a Batman I actually like. A lot.

Is Robert Pattinson's Batman perfect? No. He has issues that plague many of the other Batmen listed here. However, good goddamn, is this version fucking close to perfect. He's intelligent, he's a detective, he uses fear as a tool to fight the underworld, he's clearly a proficient fighter and gadget-user, and maybe most importantly, he actually becomes a hero by the end. Think about this. How many versions of Batman have you seen actually directly save the citizens of Gotham? He usually saves people from afar, or indirectly. Rarely does he save individual people from a crisis like he does in this movie, multiple times. He's a mostly well-balanced version of the character. Mostly.

And that's because...we'll, he's clearly not fucking OK. Look, I like Battinson as much as the next guy, but he's the only Batman who I can confidently say listens to My Chemical Romance on the regular. The dude is the most unstable of the Batmen by far, outpacing even Keaton for the role. But while Keaton seems more like Bruce Wayne dressing up as Batman, and Bale is the opposite, Pattinson is CLEARLY fusing the two identities into the same person. Bruce Wayne is absolutely subsumed by Batman, and he makes no effort to hide that, nor does he seem to care. And honestly, that's an interesting take! He's a very psychologically damaged character normally, and this version makes that far more prominent.

The other major problem I had is the whole "Vengeance" thing. Not calling himself that, necessarily, although it's a little emo for my tastes. It's the fact that he definitely leans more towards vengeance than he does justice. But then again, I say I had that problem because that's actually sort of the point. When we see this version at first, he calls himself Vengeance and acts as such. But by the end...he's just actually helping people. He's a hero, and he acts for justice, not just vengeance. It's his story arc. And that's something that Batman usually doesn't get: actual character development.

I mean, think about it: what do the Batmen actually learn in their journeys? Keaton doesn't really change throughout his films. He's still an eccentric loner who opens up to women out of desperation, but doesn't really learn anything from his struggles. Bale has stuff happen to him most of the time, but I can't say that he changed much between movies. Maybe in the last one, where he gives up the crusade to pursue a life of peace, but is that really the right story for Batman? Affleck...learns not to be an absolute douche-nozzle, I fucking guess. Not a lesson. Just not being a dick. But Pattinson learns to be a hero, and gains a slightly new view of his mission at the end, as well as of Alfred. It's an actual character journey, even though it isn't the strongest one ever. So yeah, he's near perfect, even if he is also a whiny emo teenager who shouts "YOU'RE NOT MY REAL DAD" at Alfred a few times. Yeah, he's good, but he ain't perfect.

So, with all of that said, who is Batman? He's a little emotionally closed off, from himself and from others. He's still a human being with likes and desires, but those likes and desires come second to the journey. He's not a constant brooding loner, but he struggles with his own mental issues and his own obsessions. He's in desperate need of therapy, but prefers to solve his own problems, as he does with most things. He's controlling to sometimes pathological degrees, but never with ill-intent. And he's always prepared as much as he reasonably can be, for any contingency.

Batman doesn't take his nights off much, and overworks himself constantly to fulfill a goal which doesn't truly exist. He's a crusader for justice with and without the mask, and is fiercely devoted to his city and his people. But when he does take a night off, he watches film noir and Zorro. He reads the newspaper, to minimize his screen time and relax a little bit. He likes obscure coffees and beverages, leaning more towards the bitter than anything else. His tastes are obscure and seemingly rich, but are actually worldly and well-informed. He's a brilliant man who hides his brilliance behind silent actions and clever words. And to those who share his vision of a better world, he may be critical, but is also fiercely loyal.

I mean, in a word...he's Batman.

It's funny, but I think Batman has a similar problem to Superman, in an unexpected way. Like Superman, people tend to forget that he's human. Batman, despite his journey and trauma and mission, is absolutely a person, with the same flaws and foibles as a regular person has. And that seems to go without saying, since all versions of Batman have been flawed, right? But if that's the case, why is the character so over-idolized in the public eye, especially by bros who say he's the coolest character ever, who can take anybody in a fight? That limited view and mentality of the character is what gave us the dumbass meathead murderer in Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Jesus Fucking CHRIST This Name Never Gets Less Stupid.

But who's to blame for this? Is anybody to blame for the dehumanization of Batman? Yes. Yes, there is somebody to blame.

Allow me to throw in an emphatic "FUCK YOU, FRANK MILLER" into this essay post, real quick. Is Batman: Year One an influential narrative masterpiece? Honestly, yes. And yes, it informs the modern version of the character. However, this and Batman: The Dark Knight Returns (another great story for the most part, I'll admit) RUINED the character for generations to come. Batman was broken down into a gadget wearing edgelord, with Miller's dialogue and characterization exemplifying that image. Batman: Year One was great, to me, because it brilliantly contextualized Gotham for a new era, not because of "Yes, Father; I will become a bat." Great line, but real edgy.

And by the way, that's not even talking about Miller's rampant misogyny in those books, or the horrendous racist tendencies he would display later on in life. It's also not talking about his horrible artwork, his misunderstanding and horrid mishandling of any character that isn't Batman, or his DISASTROUS modern take on the character that revealed how he ACTUALLY saw Batman as a character. Miller's...not great, and even if these stories gave us some iconic lines and takes, they also caused a lot of harm down the line. After all, the issues with Snyder's Batman can be directly traced to Miller's take on the character.

So, then, with all of that said...how the hell am I supposed to start this one? Yeah, I'm still in the same boat as I was when I began this shit! See, it's all well and good to define my version of Batman, but that's not the only problem here. Because, after all, we've had 8 cinematic iterations of the character and the world he lives in, as well as 10 stories told about the character. And that's not accounting for the numerous animated series, radio plays, serial films, and the COMIC BOOKS. So, how do you tell a story that's interesting to newcomers (of which there can't be many at this point), and faithful to the character and his stories?

Well, I have some ideas on that, of course. But before anything else, let's flesh out the world that he lives in. Last time, I started the Superman essay series by talking about Lois Lane, the Kents, and other supporting characters. And I'll start similarly here, with four major supporting characters getting their own chapters, then going into the world of Gotham and its citizens, the vast gallery of rogues against Batman, and then finally getting into the story of this theoretical movie.

That's the plan, anyway. We'll see how well that holds up, huh?

Part One: Batman Part Two: Alfred and the Waynes Part Three: James Gordon and the GCPD (Coming Soon) Part Four: Gotham City (Coming Soon) Part Five: Joker (Coming Soon) Part Six: The Usual Suspects (Coming Soon) Part Seven: And the Rest (Coming Soon) Part Eight: The Story - Act One (Coming Soon) Part Nine: The Story - Acts Two and Three (Coming Soon) Part Ten: The Story - Climax and Ending (Coming Soon) Part Eleven: Epilogue (Coming Soon)

[iboatedhere]

I missed the reason why you dislike the blake family, and that might be horrible timing but would you mind telling me? (I've been wanting to ask for days but bc I stupidly thought they would not write that dumbass Carlos/Iris marriage thing I wanted to wait for the season to start)

But anyway I just hate this storyline so much, it's not in character, it's nonsensical and it's getting on my damn nerves. How does any of it get rationalized as anything other than "the writers thought they were too clever by half". I mean, we're supposed to buy that a freshly out Carlos, just out of high school, married (why would he marry her at 18? Why not just live together?) his best friend to? fight rejection? Gain his parents' approval? (And we're being told that knowing it didn't work ,since we saw 2x04). Ok let's say I'm ok with that. Then she goes missing, he doesn't care? Nobody cares? Yeah that's the gay cop with the missing wife, you know, who's dad is a ranger ? Then he meets TK at a honky tonk for 1st responders and no cop is like "hey, this dude is really enjoying that danse with the hot new yorker for a man whose wife is missing" Then she turns up and they have a joyous reunion where they decide to stay married for insurance fraud reasons? And then TK meets his parents and no one is like "Hey, remember that girl you married and is still alive and married to you? How does your live in boyfriend feel about that?" And now, we're supposed to accept "I'm so happy to be marrying TK soon, oh damn, that reminds me I'm still married to this girl I haven't bothered to check up on in a minute, hope she doesn't think I'm a bad friend or anything, what do you think, fiancé who's just now learned of my pre-existing marriage ?"

The Michelle storyline in season 1 was the worst by far because it was so isolated. She didn't interact with anyone else (save for Owen in a few scenes) and she didn't seem like she was that great of a Captain, to the point where Tim and Nancy had to be like "I don't think you've ever told us good job" or whatever.

She repeatedly violated a restraining order against a man that was innocent to the point where she got him fired from his job.

She was also incredibly selfish and bratty to Carlos while they were "looking" for Iris--he went out of his way to set up a meeting with Detective Washington, asked her to be nice, and then .5 seconds into it she turned into a snob.

Carlos had to guilt her into asking how he was doing and if he was seeing anyone and when she did she still didn't have the capacity to connect the dots that he hooked up with TK. Not only was she a terrible friend she was also a terrible sister-in-law.

If he felt he had to marry her at that time, fine, whatever, that's fine. He felt he had to stay married to her to give her insurance, that's less okay, that's fraud and even Gabriel should've been like "well actually!" There were other avenues, people find them everyday. The second he and TK got serious that should've come out. TK might have been okay with it at the start but I don't think he should just be fine with it now.

[fushiguroll]

“ITS HOT IN HERE”

⇢  husband!oikawa toru, bokuto kotaro, kuroo tetsuro, kita shinsuke, terushima yuji, daichi sawamura

inspired by: this tiktok

⚠️ suggestive

ʚɞ OIKAWA Toru | looks up at you as you walk into the room fanning yourself. “hey beautiful.” You ignore him, “toru, it’s so hot in here.” he lets his body feel the temperature but before he could respond, your shirt is halfway over your head. finally free of your shirt, you notice his shocked stares. “you should take off yours too, babe, don’t want you to get a heat stroke.” oikawa stands up, one hand lifting his shirt over his head, the other pulling you in by the waist. “thanks for being so considerate, princess. how about we make this room just a bit hotter?”

ʚɞ BOKUTO Kotaro | honestly, bokuto is a walking human furnace. he is such a ray of sunlight, he literally makes anyone around him sweat. as you sit next to him, you couldn’t help but squirm away from his touch to cool down your body. but the more you squirm, the tighter he wraps his arms around you. “what’s wrong?” he pouts, looking down at you. poor baby. all he ever wants is to hold you in his arms. “ko, it’s so hot in here.” he pouts and walks over to the window, opening it wider. bokuto is rooted in place when he sees you nearly naked on the sofa. with one swift motion, his own t-shirt disappeared from his body. returning to the sofa, he once again resumes the original postion. “is this better?” “yup!” bokuto hums happily as he pulls you closer to his chest. like I said, all this man wants to do is hold you as close to him as possible as you guys mindlessly waste the afternoon away watching whatever was on the screen.

ʚɞ KUROO Tetsuro | sighs, terribly bored out his mind. “y/n!” “what!” “come play with me!” you run into the living room and sees your husband sitting leg spread on the soft couch. “what should we do? I’m so bored.” “wanna go swimming?” kuroo looks out the window, “right now?” “yeah, it’s so hot in here.” without waiting for a response, you strip down to your bikini, already hidden underneath. “princess, you’ve basically decided without me.” you giggle as you run to the backyard. “hurry!” kuroo chuckles to himself before following you. “you know what? since you said it’s so hot today. why don’t we try skinny dipping? that’s a cooler idea.” 

ʚɞ KITA Shinsuke | you hear Kita come through the door. “honey?” “I’m here.” he walks in and plops down next to you. “how was your day, baby?” “before I dive into the detail, it’s hot in here yeah?” kita looks around, squinting to check the thermostat and when he turns around, you’re already stripped down to your undergarments. kita stands up and holds out a hand invitingly. “I know how you can cool down.” you look up at his questionably, “how?” “join me in the shower. I’ll make sure to run the water extra cold, just for you.” “won’t you be cold then?” “I think we’ve can find another way to warm ourselves up in there.”

ʚɞ TERUSHIMA Yuji | licks his lips when you walk into the living room, hips swaying with each step. “hi hottie.” “yuji, why is it so hot in here?” terushima looks at you confused. You’re already in a tank top and some shorts and you’re still hot? “it must be because I'm here,” he jokes, sending a wink your way. You roll your eyes and remove your tank top. “woahh baby!” your husband exclaims, leaning back against the sofa as if enjoying a show. you look down at him as he pats his lap. “come here, princess. you’re about to feel a whole lot warmer.”

ʚɞ DAICHI Sawamura | was folding the laundry when you leaned against the frame of the door. “hi,” he sneaks a glance at you, smiling as he continued to carefully put away the t-shirts. “It’s hot in here.” Daichi reaches for the AC remote and turns down the temperature. “it’ll be cooler soon.” his eyes widens at the sight of you out of your shirt and pants. he nervously glances at the door and immediately runs over to close it. “darling! what if my parents saw you. you really want your in-laws to see you in your bra and underwear?” “oops.” his expression darkens at the sight of you in front. In one swift motion, daichi was towering over you. “what about laundry?” “laundry can wait.”

reblogs are wildly appreciated <3 

main masterlist | haikyū masterlist

[dontfeeltoohot]

St*nger Th*ngs fic for @stormyweaver Eddie starts getting sick, Steve is there for him. 1.6k No spoilers aside from the vague ones in the very first sentence.

XXX

The past month has been nothing short of a shit show- running from the law, running from insane basketball freaks, dealing with monsters and death, learning about alternate dimensions….it’s been a tough four weeks. Everything is starting to drift back to normal; whatever that is, aside from the fact that he and Mister popular himself are hanging out more, getting closer.

Between a few hidden makeout sessions and hand jobs, Eddie’s starting to realize he may be in deep shit with this guy- he might actually be falling for Steve fucking Harrington. Unbelievable. Thinking about it all makes his head hurt, which in turn makes him slam his old notebook shut and toss it back in his bag. He ignores the look Ms.Grady shoots him from the front of the classroom, not in the mood to deal with teachers today. 

There’s a steady pulse right behind his eyes, just bothersome enough that it’s making him want to unscrew his head and chuck it somewhere, a la Day of the Dead style. He’s barely halfway through the day, and the idea of skipping the rest sounds more than appealing. As the bell rings, Eddie stands from the uncomfortable desk chair, eyes shutting as congestion floods his head, the shift from sitting to standing knocking it loose. The long haired man blinks, sniffling and wincing.

If there’s one thing Eddie Munson prides himself on, aside from his music taste, style, hair, and ability to take just the right amount of drugs, it’s that he doesn’t get sick. His body seems to have other plans though, because by the end of his last period, he’s feeling particularly shitty. The man is acutely aware of his sudden sore throat when a buzzing feeling winds its way through his sinuses and he has to aim his face down towards the ground. 

“h’NGkT! ghXT!” 

The breath he lets out is stuffy, and his throat feels raw from the stifled sneezes that scrape against his throat. 4 hours ago he felt fine, and now he feels like has the plague. What in the holy fresh hell is happening. Coughing a little, Eddie all but throws himself out of his chair the second the end of the day bell rings. The curly haired man ignores his classmates' looks as he scrambles out of the room, surprised at how much energy he’s able to muster. 

The outside air is a little too warm for his liking as it hits him, but he keeps his worn leather jacket on and beenlines it for his car, but freezes when he sees a very familiar burgundy BMW sitting next to his own van. Sniffling thickly and scrunching his nose, he moves closer, seeing the iconic hair everyone in Hawkins has learned to either love or idolize. 

“Harrington, can’t get enough of me?” 

Eddie somehow manages to keep his face neutral, but Steve winces as he speaks. His voice sounds terrible, certain sounds rounded and nasally, a bit more of a rasp than usual resulting in him clearing his throat after. 

“Jesus you sound like shit. I was going to ask if you wanted to come and swim, Robin’s been begging for a get together at my place and my parents are gone for the week, but-“ 

“Nah, I’m down. It’s too hot for much else, plus D&D isn’t tonight.” 

Again, Steve winces, and again, Eddie ignores. Or, he tries his best, but then his nostrils are twitching and the urge to sneeze prickles in his head again. Steve starts to talk but the older of the two shakes his head. 

“H-Hold ohhhn…h’GHkt! hih’KXT! Fuck.” The sneezes sound disgusting, even to his own ears. He snags the black bandana out of his back left pocket and blows his nose, the productivity of it making him glad he’s not looking in Harrington’s direction, with how soupy it is. Finally, shoving it into his front pocket, Eddie turns back and glances towards the other. 

Steve looks less disgusted than he’s been expecting, if anything, there’s a hint of…worry? Brushing it off, Eddie clears his throat. 

“What were you saying?” 

“Uh…right. Party tonight. Sort of. Robin and Nance and Jonathan…” 

“Still surprising you’re so cool with your ex and her boyfriend.” 

“Yeah, well…I got someone else in mind,” Steve shrugs, but throws Eddie a wink that makes his heart falter slightly in surprise. And really, what the fuck. How can a guy like Harrington make him feel like that? 

“Yeah, I’ll be there, what time does..” Eddie rubs his nose with the back of his hand, but all touching it serves to do is make the low itch flare, and he’s once again turning away, not bothering to tell Steve to shut up this time. 

“NgKT! gktchh!” The noise he makes after is close to a snort rather than a sniffle, congestion wanting nothing more than get out. 

“Bless you. If you’re sick, you don’t have to come.” 

“I’m coming, Killer. I’m fine.” 

“If you say so, oh wise one.” 

XXX 

Eddie pulls up in front of Harrington’s too-nice house, feeling more than a little anxious to be in such a nice area of town. He’s always felt out of place in areas like this, with the perfect yards and pristine houses. If only Steve knew what his house looked like, he’d probably laugh in his damn face, or maybe give him that annoying pitied look. He’s grabbed a new, clean bandana to keep with him for the night, but now he’s wishing he had snagged a back up. 

If he’s honest, the last thing he feels like doing right now is swimming and partying, but it’s not like he can back out now. No-showing would make Harrington get that sad puppy dog look on his dumb face, and hes not going to be one of the assholes who causes that. 

Before he steps out, Eddie snuffles into his bandana and coughs, wondering briefly if he’s running a fever. The fact he feels almost cold in 80 degree weather is a tad concerning, but nothing he can’t handle. Hopping out of the large van, it hits him then, that maybe Harrington wanted him to bring drugs. Fuck. He definitely doesn’t have anything, he’d left it all back at his place. Oh well, they’ll have to get over it. 

Coughing into the air, Eddie walks up the path and knocks on the door. A moment later, Robin answers, but freezes a millisecond later, eyebrow raising.

“Why aren’t you wearing something to swim in? Unless you’re swimming naked, which, hey, that’s cool too, though I’m sure Nancy wouldn’t approve…” she trails off. 

Once again, feeling foggy headed, Eddie realizes he’s messed up. He can now remember Harrington talking about swimming, hell, he himself had acknowledged it, but now he feels stupid, standing in the door way with jeans and an Aerosmith tee on, vest on top. Fuck. 

“Uhh…” 

He’s saved from saying anything when Harrington comes to the door, looking confused. 

“You coming in? Or do I need to invite you in like one of those vampires…right? That’s a thing right? Dustin said-“ 

“Yeah, you gotta invite vampires in. So invite me in, Harrington.” 

“Come in Munson.” 

They both roll their eyes, and Robin snorts.

“God Steve, you’re becoming such a nerd.” 

Steve stammers and Eddie walks past him, taking his bandana out to rub at his nose. An achy chill runs through him, leaving him shivering for a second, but the man ignores it, continuing in, standing himself by the couch. He spies Nancy and Jonathan outside, both in the pool. Right. Pool. Shit. 

“Harrington, you got any water in this place?” His throat’s stinging, and Steve’s suddenly there, a glass in his hand. He blinks, wondering if he somehow knew he’d want one. Robin’s already outside again and it makes Eddie feel disoriented. Wasn’t she behind him? 

“Hey….look, uhm. We can stay inside, if you want. Maybe order pizza? I know I said it earlier but…you really do look like shit, are you okay?” 

Eddie isn’t sure what he wants to say. He could play it off, try and push through. But with every passing minute his body is feeling heavier, his throat’s feeling worse, his head feels like there are bees buzzing around in it, as well as like it’s stuffed with cotton. 

“Uhm…y-yeah, that. That sounds good.” Eddie feels uncharacteristically out of place and shy, so he sits himself down, taking the water from the younger man, taking a sip. “Sorry I didn’t bring anything tonight, uh…drug wise. I didn’t really remem-“ 

“I don’t care about that dude. I’m not friends with you because you have drugs.” 

“Oh.” 

“Look. Let’s just…get pizza and relax. We can watch some tv, and try to ignore those knuckleheads out there okay?” 

Hesitantly, Steve presses the back of his hand to Eddie’s forehead, which makes Eddie freeze. He can’t remember the last time someone did that. 

“If you want…I have extra sweatpants upstairs? You’re probably not comfortable, right?” 

“Right. I didn’t really uh…it’s been a lohng…day..-gkXT! hih’dxztch! Damn, sorry-snf! A long day…” 

The second sneeze bursts out of him as he scrambles for his bandana, just barely managing to catch the last half into it. His head gives a miserable throb from the first sneeze and he coughs. 

“I’ll go get the pants. You try not to die. You can lay down or whatever on the couch if you want. Just take your shoes off, my mom will kill me if she comes home and sees anything’s been made dirty.” 

“You got it killer.” Eddie sniffles and slips his shoes off, planting himself on the couch and waiting for Steve. 

[wonderlandleighleigh]

been meaning to ask this for a while, but this new Hey Alma article that came out (https://www.heyalma.com/should-non-jewish-actors-play-jewish-roles/) kinda kicked my ass into finally asking: for you as an actual Jewish person watching Maisel and being a fan, is it hard to watch non-Jewish actors play Jewish characters? or is it less complicated than it's made out to be? fully asking this as a gentile myself. hope you're doing good!

So like.

There is a long history of non-Jewish people playing Jewish characters, partially because when the Western world thinks "Jewish" they do think "White" and also "Christian adjacent." They don't take into account Jews of color, or the full diaspora. Which is intensely diverse, if small.

So you have things like Alison Hannigan playing Willow Rosenberg on Buffy and Emily Bet Rickards playing Felicity Smoak on Arrow. Neither of which were portrayed terribly Jewish, for a number of reasons:

Modern Ashkenazi Jewishness in America is very cultural and the religious aspects aren't as prominent as they once were. A lot of Jewish people like the food and ritual but the God and strict adherence to Jewish law fall by the wayside in favor of agnosticism or atheism. And that's partially because Judaism is about asking questions about the world around you and challenging things. If you do that a lot, the idea of an all powerful god who created the universe is hard to make sense of.

Jewishness isn't considered cool in Hollywood. The stereotypes for Jewish people are pretty rough, right? We're dweebs. Overbearing, hand-wringing, naggy, uptight hypochondriacs. And we see those kinds of portrayals in a lot of corners.

Not many people can figure out how to portray Judaism without fucking it up, because it largely remains mysterious to a lot of gentile content creators and audiences. The differences between Ashkenazi, Sephardic and Mizrahi, along with the separation between Orthodox, Conservative and Reform Judaism, and understanding that Judaism IS NOT Christianity without Jesus, but it's own completely different thing, is about as confusing for gentiles as understanding all the different factions of Christianity (Catholics, Protestants, Lutherans, Southern Baptist, etc etc) is for Jews.

So keeping those things in mind, there aren't a lot of overtly Jewish characters on television and in movies to begin with. Marvelous Mrs. Maisel has a ton of Jewish characters, between the main cast and the background characters in settings like Synagogue and Steiner. And it's part of the appeal for Jewish people: That is a lot of Jewish people on my screen. That's really rare. That much Yiddish being spoken is really rare. Before this, the only thing that comes to mind are Sandy and Seth Cohen from The OC (because creator Josh Schwartz is Jewish and made that a minor focus on the show).

Do I wish more Jewish actors were hired to play Jewish characters? Totally. It'd be really nice if the actors portraying Jewish characters were also Jewish, because they, presumably, have the experience to inhabit a character of that religion.

And there are cases where I get a little grumpy about it. Chris Evans in Red Sea Diving Resort (a film whose only real value is seeing Chris Evans in very sparse clothing) feels wrong. Chris Evans is a Boston gentile. Did that film need star power to get made? Yes. Could they have found an equally hot Jewish man to portray that character? Probably.

Similarly, and Moon Knight fandom, don't come after me, Oscar Isaac is not Jewish, and is playing an Egyptian(? Comics fans help!) Jewish character. I haven't watched that show yet because I'm disappointed. They could have found a Jewish actor. To say nothing of how much Judaism they've erased from Moon Knight in general. They switched his Jewish parent from his father to his mother, and made her abusive, as far as I've heard, and that feels hurtful to Jewish characters as a whole on screen. The tug of war regarding faith between Moon Knight and his father (a rabbi in the comics) made for interesting content that now isn't there.

I'm not as harsh on Maisel's casting of Rachel Brosnahan, Tony Shalhoub and Marin Maisy as the Weissmans, because they all do such an incredible job at portraying Jewish Characters, but also, the fact that those characters are so overtly Jewish in the first place make it more palatable. And that those characters get to more multidimensional AND Jewish - that they get to be so many things, eases my judgy face quite a bit.

Because that's the real issue with Jewish characters in media: So often, they are not allowed to be overtly Jewish AND other things. They are just that ONE THING, and it's boring and frustrating.

So, the answer to your question is (like so many things in Judaism)...yes and no.

By and large, yes. Please cast Jewish actors to play Jewish characters. But if the gentile playing a Jewish character understands their character, has a good director who can guide their performance in regards to Judaism, as well as a script that treats Jewishness as one facet instead of the whole picture in a weird, gross way, it can be good.

[sashi-ya]

hi sashi-ya congrats on reaching one thousand followers :)!! can I request a law x female reader where law is her step brother (incest) rough sex with teasing begging and blindfolding and orgasm denial also getting caught to add the spice 🤭🤭 and in modern au

Hi!! Of course darling! I wouldn't normally accept the incest kink, but this time I had to include it -so many of you asked for it- hahaha. Yet, I obviously wrote the request because it was stated they are step siblings. Sooo... enjoy this SUPER spicy fic I wrote for you my lovely requester! ♥ ~

🔥⚠ NSFW ~ Trafalgar D. Water Law x F! Reader ~ Sweet Little Sister

TW: Incest. Yet, they do not share blood tights in any way. Their parents have started a relationship a few months ago, and never lived together. Law is also adopted. Yet, I can understand this is a controversial kink so if you don't like it, please just don't read it ♥. Rough sex, mutual pining, teasing, orgasm denial, cream pie, getting caught. Edging.

Wc: 1.8K

There he is your grumpy stepbrother sitting on the other side of the table. Your mum and his “dad” started dating and they have moved to your home. The guy, with caramel skin, intense grey eyes, little white spots all over his skin and deep black hair is for sure the reason why all of your besties want to spend more time at your house than before. And they are right, the guy is as edgy and emo as handsome and hot… Covered in tattoos, piercings, that bad boy vibe can make anyone instantly attracted to him.

“Lord, (Name), calm down. From now on this guy is gonna be your brother” you think, taking your fork to your mouth without noticing your stare is fixed on him. He smirks at you; his dark circles make the perfect contrast with those beautiful icy eyes. You play with the fork on your mouth, probably thinking the smirk is part of your imagination… But it isn’t.

“(Name)? Are you alright?” asks your mum, noticing your stupid smile on your face as you are hypnotized by Law’s perfect features. You widen your eyes as you realize you’ve been openly flirting with your brother during dinner time. “Uh… yeah yeah. I was just lost in some thoughts” you excuse yourself, and you swear you could notice Law winking an eye, subtly, mostly covering his face with that fluffy cap he usually wears.

“Family, I have to study. You don’t mind if I get to my room earlier tonight?” he says as he stands up, placing those inked hands over the table. “Of course, dear, go on! We are so proud of you!” your mum chimes, looking at you as if the guy was the perfect son. Law is an excellent med student and is about to graduate, so nobody denies him going upstairs earlier and everybody praises him. His adoptive dad, Rosinante, is the definition of pure love, so he looks at his son with absolute adoration in his eyes.

Little did they know…

Law fixed his eyes on yours; he is trying to tell you something for sure. He grazes your shoulder as he leaves the dining room towards the stairs. “Good night, my sweet little sister”. A shiver runs through your spine, a shiver that ends up directly on your core… goddamn it.

Dinner is over, your mum and Rosinante decided to do the dishes together and so you were freed to climb up to your room to keep up with your study. “Goodnight, mum. Goodnight, dad” you greet them, watching Rosinante melt in pure happiness as he hears you calling him dad. The man deserves the love, he really acts like a true dad.

On the way to your room, you peek at Law’s semi open door. He is sitting on his desk, reading some books, and taking some notes. “The nerd on its natural habitat” you joke to yourself, giggling a little while passing by. You get to your room, next to his, and close your door.

While in the shower is impossible for you to forget Law’s hands caressing your shoulder, calling you “My sweet little sister”. So inviting, so tempting and enticing… “Wait. Is this man flirting with me?” you think for a second but shake your head trying to suppress such terrible thoughts.

“For God’s sake Name, he is like your brother… didn’t know you were so fucked up that now “incest” turns you on”. Yet, your hand is over your naked sex, massaging softly and superficially your clit...

You start to fall asleep over your book after sitting on your desk. Your eyelids softly close and you end up crossing your arms over the texts…. “(Name)-ya… (Name)-ya” you hear someone whispering in your ear. “Mmhh?” you mumble and open your eyes. But you see black. And you can’t move either. You feel a hand pressing you down onto the desk, a cloth around your eyes, warm breath near your neck. “Sweet little sister… you wanna fuck me, don’t you?” he whispers into your ear and bites the shell of it. You moan, soundly. Law covers your mouth, “Shh, you want mom and dad to hear us?”. “Mhhh” you deny with your head. And of course, you can’t process if this is just a dream or for real Law, your stepbrother, is literally doing this to you.

“Come on, stand up…” he orders, and for some reason you obey instantly. He helps you out, and you feel how he is slowly sliding your satin pajamas off. “Little sis, you are so pretty…” he says, and you feel his lips already grazing your neck. His hands massaging your breasts, the skin of his chest against yours. You get drunk with his manly, dusky, scent. Law emanates something that attracts every female that passes next to him, there’s no doubt about it.

He bites your neck, hard. “Auch...” you whine. “My bad, little sis. I hope mom doesn’t notice tomorrow” he says. And you can’t help but get as disgusted as turned on. The perversion behind those words gets into you, crawling inside you, ending like a pleasure sting on your core. “D-don’t…” you beg. “Don’t? What? mark your skin? But you are mine, aniki. Aren’t you?” he whispers, and bites you even harder.

Your legs turn weak, as his soft hands grazes your tummy. His fingers crawl from your belly button to your core. “Oh… but you are already so wet! Aniki, are you that horny for your big brother?” he teases you. You wished you could see his face when he says that, but instead you only can feel his lips moving over yours as he speaks.

“Mhh…” you whine because he is already fingering you. He does it so violently yet so perfectly, the tip of his fingers hitting that sweet spot. And standing up turns even more difficult. “Heh, poor thing… my sweet little sister can’t even stand… Come on” he says and pushes you, softly but enough to make you fall back. Luckily you hit your bed.

“Law… let me see you” you whisper. “Beg for it…” he says, and you feel him spreading your legs. Each sensation multiplies exponentially, not being able to see his actions gets you on edge even more… “Please, Law…” you beg. “Law? I’m your older brother, silly…”. And now you understand completely… Law wants to fuck his <sister>...

“Onichan ~… can I see your face?” you beg, pouting. “Ahh… my sweet little sister…” he sighs, and he slowly unties your blindfold. In front of you, the tanned man you’ve been lusting on for so long, settled over you. He is wearing only his grey pants, chest completely naked, garnished by those ink lines that draw a big heart on his skin. “Oh… you are so pretty…” he whispers and bites his lip. You feel lightheaded, this is so wrong but still you want it so bad…

His fingers are still inside you, moving fast, one of his hands pressing down your belly. You are quivering, arching your back, damping his hand and your pink sheets with your arousal. You are about to reach climax, and he knows it exactly. “Bro… brother…” you moan. “I’m coming…” you whine, a little louder. “Sh… baby…” he says and just when you are on the verge of releasing that pressure that’s been building up on your lower belly, he stops.

“Oniichan…? ~” you protest, almost with tears in your eyes. “What, aniki? mh?” Law says, while both of you fix your eyes on each other. “I… why? why did you stop…?”. “Because your oniichan decides when you are gonna cum, don’t you know that?” he tells you, laughing, sexily, shamelessly, and devilishly.

“Please…” you beg. “What, what do you want, baby?” he smirks. “Fuck me, brother. Please” you whine. “But… Do you think it is ok for a big brother to fuck his sweet little sis?” he teases you, everything with a shitty grin that suits him so fucking well. And he is right, this is not ok, this is sick… but you want him, you want him so deep inside you.

Your feet move on their own, reaching his aching bulge. You graze his hard member over the tenting grey sweatpants. “Heh, you are so needy, aren’t you?” he says, while clenches his teeth as your plants move back and forth over his dick. “Oniii…. fuck me come on, please” you say, biting your lip and massaging your breasts as you beg.

“Ahj… guess I don’t have any option. After all, I’m gonna have to fuck my little sister then…” he sights, acting as if he doesn’t want it. Law takes his pants off, they fall to the ground. His throbbing hard dick shows in front of you, dripping precum to the floor, wetting your feet as you keep jerking him off. The perfection of his whole anatomy makes you suppress any feeling of regret.

He smirks as he bends over you, you spread your legs just to receive him. Your sex wants to be fucked hard, deep, so rough.

“I don’t want you to go crying and sobbing with mum, ok? Aniki is gonna be rough with you” he says and aligns his sex with your entrance. And inside he goes, stretching you so good, filling you so deliciously. “Ahh… broth…” you moan, loud. “Baby, no… sh sh. You are gonna wake mummy and daddy up” he says, covering your mouth, squeezing your cheeks as his thrusts become rougher, faster and violent.

Law passes his hand behind your head, tangles your hair around his inked fingers and pulls your head back as he fucks you on and on and on. You arch your back, biting your lips not to shout. He pants, you are too. “Big brother is gonna cum inside you, you know?” he tells you, and frankly that’s all you want. “Uhum, please aniki, fill me up” you beg.

But he laughs, and once again, you were edged to death. Another orgasm denied.

“Brother, no. Keep fucking me please…please please I want you to fill me up” you beg, desperately. He looks at your messed, begging, pathetic you and smirks so cocky. “Fine, sis” he says and with just three violently but precise thrusts, you explode in an orgasm that you have never experienced ever before. And Law follows, you feel him flooding your womb. Warm and satisfying feeling of fullness.

He flops over you, his hot skin against your sweaty chest feels so good… A sudden knock on the door pulls you out from the reverie of the after sex.

“Guys, are you ok? We heard noises” your mum asks, behind the door. “Yeah mum, I was teaching my sister a little bit of anatomy, but we ended up playing some games… on the pc” he shamefully answers. You widen your eyes, praying for your mother not to open the door. “Oh, such a good brother! Ok I let you have fun! Good night!” she says and goes away.

“See? Being the favorite has its advantages” he whispers and bites your already bruised neck.

[gotnofucks]

How about Jake Jensen meeting the reader's parents for the first time and since he's an adorkable idiot, chaos ensues?

Title: At the Dinner Table

Pairing: Jake Jensen x Reader

Words: 1.2k

Warnings: Only language I think.

+++++

Jake’s nipples were beautiful, and you would love to show them the appreciation due to them, but not in front of your parents.

“What are you doing?” You hissed, shaking your head at his bare upper body.

“You’re the one who said ‘shirt up’!” He defended and you hid your face in your hands, groaning in mortification.

“I said shut up you absolute walking disaster!” You said, peeking at your father who shot you an incredulous look. His eyes were asking you for confirmation that this is the man you’re planning on spending the rest of your life with and you scrunched your nose.

Jake blushed, scratching his goatee bashfully before pulling his shirt on again. Your mother was clearly trying hard not to laugh, suppressing her giggles by pursing her lips. Your brother, however, had no chill because he kept munching on his snacks, watching your fiancé with a fascinated gaze that shifted to you after he was clothed again.

“Now I know why you stay with him. He’s ripped.” He said, nodding as if in approval. You threw a piece of salad at him, sitting down in silence until your father cleared his throat. The argument before Jake suddenly decided to flash everyone was almost forgotten, an uncomfortable silence descending on the dinner table.

“Right,” Your father said, “as I was saying earlier, I would have liked it had you asked for my daughter’s hand like a gentleman.”

You grabbed your fork tightly in your hand, shooting your father a glare. Seriously, what time was he living in?

“And like I said, I don’t need your permission to marry her. Only hers. And she said yes.” Jake grumbled, chewing on his food as he sulked, still a little red around his ears.

“And like I said, will you both please shut up?” You said, voice slightly raised. “I am not some object you’ll talk about as if I am not here. Dad, I made my choice when I said yes. And you, Jake, don’t you ever talk to my father like that again.”

Your brother looked between you three, very entertained. He was smirking, exchanging amused looks with your mother who didn’t look like in any hurry to interrupt this argument.

“You just told him to shut up yourself.” Jake said.

“He’s my daddy, I can talk to him how I want. But I’ll be damned if you raise your voice at him.” You huff, earning a very approving nod from your father.

“That’s my girl!” He cheered, reaching over to pat your back with a huge smile. You gave him a sarcastic one back, fixing him with a withering look.

“You can’t talk to my fiancé that way either. He’s gonna be your son in law soon, so treat him like family.”

At your father’s bewildered look, your mother wheezed out a laugh that she quickly stifled, stuffing her mouth with food. This isn’t how you expected this dinner to go at all. Not only had your father and fiancé got into an argument that ended up with one of them shirtless, but you were sure your brother had the hots for Jake.

“Who wants ice-cream?” Your mother asked, smiling sweetly and pointedly at you. You raised an eyebrow at her before getting up to follow her into the kitchen. She had no subtle bone in her body. On reaching the kitchen, she excitedly pulled you in and squealed.

“Oh god love, where did you find this guy?” She asked, bursting with curiosity. You cracked a smile at her enthusiasm, leaning against the counter as you shyly bit your lip.

“Half dead in the desert.” You told her, chuckling when her mouth dropped open. “Don’t worry, he’s not a bad guy. He’s got a complicated history.”

Your mother nodded, taking your hands in hers and squeezing gently. She knows Jake used to be in the military and didn’t ask for more information. There was much that happened to soldiers behind the scenes, things that were hard to put into words. She didn’t need to know what happened.

“He’s good to you, right?” She asked, eyes sparking when you nodded. “Oh my child, I am so happy for you. I’ve never seen you stand up for someone as you did today. I have high hopes for you both.”

With a soft smile you hugged her, taking in her natural musk and feeling like a little girl again who would plan her dream wedding with her. You’d always had trouble feeling feminine enough with two guns strapped to your thighs and hands roughed on the battlefield. But Jake made you feel like the softest, most beautiful woman in the world.

“I love him ma, I really do. I can’t imagine living without him.” You confessed. Your mother cupped your face and kissed your forehead, a lot like your grandma used to do.

“You won’t lose him” She promised, then looked out into the dining room and giggled. “Well, we better hurry out there. Your brother is trying to steal your man.”

You looked over your shoulder and screeched, stomping out and smacking your brother on the back of his head. You stood protectively in front of a very confused Jake, shielding him from your brother who was trying hard to look nonchalant.

“What?” He grumbled, rubbing his head where you hit him.

“Don’t even think about it. You’re not getting my man again.” You warned, wagging a threatening finger in his face. Jake lightly touched your back, pushing you aside to look questioningly at your brother with furrowed brows.

“You stole her boyfriend?” He asked in shock, looking a little impressed. You rolled your eyes as your brother smirked proudly, looking every bit like the man slut he was.

“Twice. I only did it to test their loyalty. Suffice it to say, they failed terribly. And they were horrible in bed. I did sis here a favor.”

You grit your teeth, fighting the urge to punch your brother. He meant well, but if he thought of putting one sleazy hand on your Jake, you’ll hit him in the balls.

“Did I fail too?” Jake asked nervously, looking at you with so much worry that you wanted to kiss his frown away. You looked at your brother with narrowed eyes, sending him a warning that he promptly ignored. He leaned his chair back on the hindlegs, swinging slowly as he regarded Jake with thoughtful eyes.

“You are the only one who has ever passed. You must really love my sis if you’re willing to overlook the more beautiful sibling.”

Jake sighed in relief, hugging you from behind as your smiled softly. Your father, very much done with the antics left without a word, talking about shameless children with no respect for elders. Your mother went after him after shooting you a wink, pleased with your choice.

“So, are you guys gonna have sex in your childhood bedroom?” Your brother asked. “If yes, Jake beware the posters on the wall. Sis was a freak.”

You would have lunged on the little shit had Jake not held you back, his breath washing over your skin as he laughed silently. Pulling you away, he pressed sweet kisses behind you ear, gently soothing you and preventing you from murdering your brother.

“Let’s go see those posters in your room baby. If you’re good, I’ll show you something better too.” He promised.

+++++

[megamegaturtle]

in the dumpster fire of 2020, i fell in love with dramione

here’s some fic recs in no particular order of favorites (ao3 edition). this is going to be a long ass post, but a link to all my bookmarks on ao3. again, long post.  you’ve been warned: 

remain nameless by @heyjude19-writing - the coffee shop au that’s 300,000 words that’s friends to lovers and becoming better people (complete)

measure of a man - okay so like. i’m going to explain this story terribly. but like. hermione is a healer, she’s also part farmer. she super heals hard to heal patients. and oh boy. there are the malfoys. we have narcissa as herself. scrop as the cutest baby kid alive, and draco as a poltergeist. JUST. THIS STORY. START READING. IT IS SO GOOD. AND DELCIOS AND ALSJDFJLA you will come away feeling super empowered. (WIP)

subtle perfection  - the ice skating/muggle au that’s is asldkfjsaljf really smoking hot but like the ice hurts my feels (wip)

seven year witch by @thelastlynx- draco and hermione keep meeting up in the summers between school years (WIP)

when midnight comes - TIME LOOP AU. head boy and head girl au. (complete)

 O for Outstanding - hogwarts teacher au. also, draco has a thing for shoes *wink* (WIP)

regrets only - MADE OF HONOR AU. draco realizes a little too late he’s in love with hermione. but now he has to stop but support a wedding! (WIP)

never in heart - the one where where hermione and draco are best friends, but stupidly did an unbreakable vow to get married if they’re not married by 30. time is running out to find a spouse, but like, why take the easy route and marry your best friend? (complete)

nine months - hermione and draco have what is supposed to be a one night stand...several times, but oops. someone is pregrant :D (WIP)

love and other misfortune by @senlinyu - a veela!fic. and in the first few fics i read in the fandom. it made me continue reading more dramione. this is sen’s fault (complete)

living the dream - the one where draco is a high class escort looking for his mate. also a veela!fic. i am here for positive sex work (one shot)

the gloriana set - absolute hilarious perfection with the best little hufflepuffs (complete)

armature cartography - the one where draco somehow ends up as hermione’s boyfriend but she’s not sure how dating works (one shot)

thirteenth night - the one where draco is obliviated to pay for his crimes, but hermione is his caseworker (complete)

traditions - the christmas fic that gets my feels (complete)

everything little thing she does (is magic) - the one were draco and hermione go to parties together as a ruse! (complete)

the preferred hour - the one where scorp and rose start dating and draco is this super nice widower and...asdlfjasdljf JUST READ THIS ONE (one shot)

blood rights - creature!fic. also, draco and hermione have to get married (complete)

precious things - *cue ugly sobbing* the journey of draco’s growing love for his family through many years after he accidently knocks up hermione and....it’s a christmas fic. that hurts my heart, but it’s so good. (one shot)

fight this feeling - the best friend au! but like, unrequited feelings. these two silly gooses (complete)

courting customs most sacred by @heyjude19-writing - pansy thinks she’s doing hermione a favor, but like draco gets how purebloods do etiquette (complete) 

as you wish by @scullymurphy - is this a princess bride ref? yes, yes is it. is it about costumes and movies? yes it is. (oneshot)

all you want by @senlinyu - the first A/B/O fic i’ve ever read. it was good. so i read it. i don’t even like this trope! but it’s worth it! :D (complete)

where we go from here - this hurts. so much. ron dies in a horrible accident leaving hermione alone pregnant with their child. draco is the real bro and helps and alsdjfasldjf family. feels. dad feels. i can’t. (complete)

in search of sunrise - a very cute onesot where draco and hermione stay up all night (oneshot)

tough love - hermione has to date a few bad men to get to the right one (complete)

each day anew - the 50 first dates au. hermione needs help relearning who she is every day (complete) 

with teeth - the one where there are many, many horcruxes (oneshot)

wait and hope by @mightbewriting​ - ugly crying. hermione lost her memories and draco is the best husband. just. take all my love. (complete)

broken by @inadaze22​ - hermione is back from italy. there is a secert. it will wreck you. (complete)

waif and strays - the familiar au! draco becomes hermione’s familiar because she’s a little lost and lonely and he’s a little lost and lonely too (complete) 

apple pies and other amends - the baking!au where i want to eat everything. also. it’s very cute. (complete)

off the cuff - the cinderella au! someone forgot their glass slipper, i mean...cuff (complete) 

universal truth by @scullymurphy​ - the modern wizarding P&P au. ugh. so good. (complete) 

an education - the one where hermione is forced to help draco learn about the muggle world a little bit (complete) 

Inosculation - the one where hermione has to marry draco to save her life because of a stupid curse. they are very cute. (complete)

the calm to her storm - ron passes away and rose and hugo befriend scorp and hermione has to befriend draco and it’s great (complete) 

a boy of hans - hanahaki au. sad ending. 

Dancing with Draco - THIS SERIES IS SO GOOD. okay, so like. draco has to help hermione dance for the yule ball. the sequeal is super good too. 

The Oblivious Ones - a fake marriage story. hermione and draco meet in the pysch ward at st. mungo’s and go off to look for her parents

what you think is right - this story is so painful. one of the best 1st POVs i’ve read. it’s hermione pov. her parents are dying and it’s affecting her marriage with draco and god. just read it. (WIP)

Deine Zauber Binden Wieder - the ochrastra au no one asked for, but it’s like. really fun. (oneshot)

the green girl - hermione is sorted in Slytherin when she’s 11. this story. i still think about it to this day. (complete)

a year in the countryside - hermione wants to escape for the craziness of the big city so she moves to the cute country side. to only find draco malfoy living there too. (complete)

don’t take the sinner - THE MARRIAGE LAW FIC WITH A TWIST. hermione has to marry harry and ginny has to marry draco, but like, no one stays with their spouse. no cheating involved. (complete)

Draco's Baking Dilemmas - the great british bake off au. i don’t need to say anything more. hermione is the judge. draco is the baker. yes. and yes. (complete)

starving - sex is like food. or rather. sex is like pizza. it’s good when it’s cold, but like. it’s better when it’s hot :D (oneshot)

[postmodernmulticoloredcloak]

I decided to watch the Walker pilot so you don’t have to. #1

I don’t know why I’m doing this, but I’m doing this and the more I put it off the less I’ll want to do this. So. Let’s start.

The fist thing we see is Jared Padalecki, em Walker, driving. He’s vaguely smiling and there’s the sun behind him. He seems happy. He’s driving a truck, for some reason my mind goes to Twilight. I’d rather watch that. At least there are vampires (not dressed like clowns) there. Anyway. Walker is meeting someone. He’s meeting his wife! “Look at you!” she says. The camera makes us look at him. He looks like this

I am unsure whether we’re supposed to see this as sexy or cool. It looks frankly ridiculous. I don’t know if I’m just not American enough to appreciate the aesthetic of this. But I didn’t go through 15 seasons of Americana-in-British-Columbia for nothing. If a character appeared like this on Supernatural, it wouldn’t be presented seriously. It would be played for a chuckle or in a light-hearted way at least. Not even Dean Winchester would find this hot.

The Padaleckis tell something to each other. Apparently he needs to go home with the kids and his parents because it’s game night. My mind immediately goes to Game Night the episode and I am sad now. But Walker lifts my mood in its own weird way.  He doesn’t know the rules because every time she tells him the rules, he blacks out. I would make a fun quip about this, but the truth is that I relate to him a lot right now because I blacked out during the entire scene. I’m not sure what they said other than the game thing because I wrote it here. I already forgot the rest.

Anyway. What we’re supposed to get from this scene that they’re Very In Love (see that soft warm light?), and that he’s anxious because he’s not great at being a father because he’s shit at games apparently, but his wife is like ~don’t worry so much~ because she’s a kind, understanding wife. He tells her to be safe, because the Texan countryside is dangerous or something. She needs to stay on a route he approved for some reason. Is she traveling with supersoldier serum in her car? Is Hydra going to murder her? [cue the Marvel snipers shooting me to death because they don’t want Marvel to be associated to this]

Later, everyone is having fun playing fake monopoly, but Walker (whose mannerism is just Jared, he’s not even trying) is apparently too stupid to understand a game for kids. Plot twist, this is anti-cop propaganda because it says cops are dumb.

“Et tu Brute” Jared says when the kids point out he broke a rule so they get an extra turn. I thought I was safe from hearing Jared speak Latin! I thought I was safe! I am never safe!

Emily (Gen) suddenly texts him “SOS. Answer” which is OMINOUS! Oh my god! Aren’t you feeling the tension. The rest of the family keeps playing fake monopoly. Someone throws dice. Are we supposed to go “oh! The dice are ~symbolic because someone’s playing dice with her life” or have I been watching too much good tv.

She is running somewhere in the countryside, wearing a white shirt (is this the cowboy lady equivalent of the Wife Nightgown?). She says something is not right. He’s worried. Then he hears gunshot and her scream. He does the Alarmed Jared face, presses lips together and does a Upset Jared face.

Then he goes out, tries to call her again, and again, does a Jared Upset Sniff--

Oh! We actually see her! She’s alive, but she’s been shot in the stomach. Her white shirt is definitely the cowboy lady equivalent of the Wife Nightgown! Ah the blood coming from the stomach! How terrible! Her phone is ringing but she cannot reach it. She is definitely alive right now, though. She’s breathing heavily because of the wound, which is breathing, which is the opposite of being dead.

He decides that she’s dead, and lets out the already infamous manly scream of anguish.

It would be sad if it wasn’t that literally one second ago we saw her wounded but alive. Her turning out alive in the season finale or so will shock everyone. Nobody will have seen it coming. Who wrote this? They should have just shown the ringing phone and her bloody hand/side, making the audience assume she was dead, instead of showing her breathing. Now the audience is gonna assume she didn’t actually die, and wonder “why didn’t he call someone or went looking for her” but apparently Jared’s characters have forgotten that, like, ambulances are a thing. Jared’s manly screams of anguish are more important than common sense.

I’m not going to say anything about the manly scream of anguish. I’m not going to say anything about the manly scream of anguish. I’m n

We’re just 4 minutes in, guys. Why am I doing this?

Eleven months later, says the screen.

It’s night, outside a house. The son is waiting for him. The daughter doesn’t think he’s coming. On the porch there are two men, one is his brother and one is apparently his former partner, now new boss. He’s dressed like you’d expect a normal person to be dressed in a casual Texan night, hat and tie and all. If you are law enforcement in Texas and don’t wear a cowboy hat at any moment, you will be executed. That’s what the death penalty in Texas is for.

Somebody arrives, but to the kids’ disappointment is some dude whose function is to tell us the men’s names. The brother is Liam, the cop dude I forgot.

Walker is being sad on the back of his truck and drinking alcohol, which is the only way television can express a man having trauma. Holy shit - he reminisces of his wife like this is some emotional Lord of the Rings scene in a place where Elves live except this is not the Lord of the Rings and is just ridiculous, look

She’s seen running towards the gazebo, then she turns

This is exactly shot like the scene where Arwen has a vision of her son. Flowy hair and all. I cannot take this seriously.

He smiles sadly. Then a cop car arrives.

Mexican Lady Cop(TM), whose function in the story is to be a Mexican Lady Cop(TM) asks for his licence since he’s drinking alcohol in a public place.

“You ask so nicely” drunk Walker says. Ew. “Yeah, they train the girls special” Oh! Can you see? She is the Feminist Icon who Takes No Shit from the Dude! I’m so excited. I am slowly losing the will to live.

She drives him home on the police car. His legs don’t fit. At least this is realistic.

He does exposition in the car, including “I needed to visit a ghost instead”. There-there was no need to say it. What’s the demographic they’re aiming for? Five year olds? Do they have to spell everything out loud?

“It’s been a while since I had an actual conversation” he says, which supposedly explains why he’s making awkward exposition, but it’s just bad writing. At least they acknowledge it’s bad writing.

She figures he’s law enforcement coming back from an undercover mission from some drunken ramble he makes. This is worse than the Sherlock phone cable port thing.

She says she just got promoted from state trooper, ehe she will work with him wink wink nudge nudge. Is she going to be a cop-buddy-character slash love interest except when they’re almost about to realize they’re into each other, his wife comes back and draa~ama? I can already see it.

He goes home, makes some Jared grunts, and falls asleep on the couch.

Next morning, he goes out and jogs to where he left the truck. He puts on a cowboy hat which is supposed to be an artistic shot.

I’m slowly dying. He makes some Jared Deep Breaths, at least this made me laugh.

Wait, he’s now wearing a black hat. He’s in mourning, see? What.

He drives to his father’s ranch. His father is Super Not Impressed. It’s awkward. They took about horses. Mitch Pileggi is thinking that at least the other show was more exciting and there was Jensen Ackles in it.

He gets into his parents’ house and the dogs run to him, he does the Jared Dog Chuckle. He hugs his mom. He hugs his son - “August, my boy!” he says, like a normal person his age says.

He hugs his brother and they joke-wrestle and he says “I’m still the big brother” and did I mention I’m dying inside. I just can tell this is SUPPOSED to be reminiscent of Dean and Sam’s first meeting at Stanford in the pilot except Jared is the big brother now. Ew.

We learn that the brother is a DA and gay. All pilots suffer from Forced Exposition Syndrome but it’s like this isn’t even trying.

He goes to work and hugs (very manly hug of course) his friend-now-boss, who is called James. James asks him if he’s good and he’s like yeah I’m good, which our I’m Fine Lie Moment #1. Some things never change.

Enter the case of the week - a cop offered roadside assistance but he was assaulted. We’re already starting with a “Oh No Poor Cop :( Someone Doesn’t Like Cops And Gets Violent” plot. Yay.

Ta-da! Mexican Lady Cop appears, cowboy hat and all. James says she’s Walker’s new partner. My heart cries while Walker says “figured you’d be a guy” and she replies “so did my mom”. The feminism is so strong :’) She’s such a strong female character :’) I’m so happy :’)

Then Walker makes such a quintessential Jared thing with his mouth that I need to stop this here and take a break.

It’s been 13 minutes. So much still to go. I’m bored. Why am I doing this.

[littlesmartart]

Leverage AU thoughts

okay so I wanted to keep the worldbuilding for the AU in that specific photoset relatively short for the sake of how the post worked, but I've seen a lot of questions in the tags so here is some more information for you all, under the cut because it got LONG:

MORALITY: okay so I called this the "(sort of) Leverage AU" because it basically flips the Leverage concept of "criminals work together with one non-criminal for the greater good" into "one criminal persuades a bunch of non-criminals that law =/= morality and that sometimes to make sure the bad guys get justice you have to work around legality". Obviously some people are easier to persuade than others (Huaisang has always been pretty ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ about the law, but before he joins the team he insists all of his crimes have been Theoretical, and besides, pirating movies isn't real crime, da-ge, god), and some of them are a little troubled by it but have their own reasons for joining (Mingjue has a LOT of issues with it, but joins to protect Huaisang for That One Job, and then stays with the insistence that a. they don't kill anyone, b. they don't involve anyone who doesn't super deserve it, and c. that their goal is always to get evidence so the mark can be convicted and the mark is always handed over to the appropriate authorities at the end of the job. he has a little more moral flexibility than canon Mingjue because of his Complicated Past He Wants To Atone For, but he still has an incredibly strong internal moral code that he absolutely will not violate. Jiang Cheng cares more about the law in principle, rather than personally, and as soon as he sees that they can get Justice that the law can't, he's sold). Xichen has the hardest time of it; he jumps into the first job without protest because Meng Yao asks (and Meng Yao never ever asks for anything, so it... it must be important, right? And Jin Guangshan definitely deserves it). After that he has a lot of internal struggling going on, and he's usually the one in the team trying to steer them towards legal means, and going through the "correct" channels. He probably has a breakdown about it at the end of a season and spends the next season Travelling To Find Himself. He winds up coming back to the team when, on one of his travels, he watches a family he's staying with lose everything after being targeted by a conman, but because of a dirty police chief the evidence is destroyed. They refuse to take his money when he tries to help, and he realises that they only way to get them justice... is to call in the team. That's not to say he is 100% cool with everything from then on, and he definitely draws the line at certain criminal acts (stealing for the fun of it he is not okay with, for example, and he gives a Hard No on the suggestion of trying White Rabbit) but for the most part he accepts the concept of what they do as being for the greater good.

GRIFTER XICHEN: yeah it's ridiculous and implausible but hear me out... that just makes it better. Because this man is terrible at improv and can only lie when he's in character (you see that means it's not lying then, it's just ACTING) and doesn't drink and absolutely will not seduce a mark past the level of general flirting... and yet he's somehow a wildly successful grifter??? How??? I'll tell you how: he's so fucking handsome and kind and charming and cultured that pretty much everyone who meets him just... melts a little bit and, with some coaxing, gives him whatever he needs. IT'S LIKE A FREAKIN SUPERPOWER and it's absolutely ridiculous. With the added bonus that he's juuust famous enough that the average person might kind of think he looks familiar, which means he's very good at coming across like he totally belongs wherever he's seen. Of course he works here, he's been here for months... don't you recognise him?

NO WOMEN ON THE TEAM: look, in Meng Yao's defence, when he put together this team he thought it would only be for one job, he wasn't trying to future-proof it! But yes, it can sometimes be an issue if they don't have time to plan ahead, and he and Huaisang - as the most stereotypically feminine members of the team, and by far the best liars - will usually take on any female roles they need if they're in a pinch and can't call in outside help, although all of them are ready to take on roles of different genders if need be (female roles are actually the only way to persuade Huaisang to grift, and he has an extensive shoe collection for such roles that he likes to expand by billing to the company account... Meng Yao is deeply unimpressed by this).

OTHER CHARACTERS: when Meng Yao started this, he worked very very hard to keep his siblings and the rest of his family out of it, to keep them all away from any fallout in case it went wrong (and also to stop any pesky Moral Issues from getting in the way). When that was over and they started taking regular cases, he relaxed the rule a little - Mianmian will sometimes step in to help if she can be sold on how bad the person is they're taking down, Zonghui can be relied upon if they need extra muscle, and Wen Qing is their go-to Ask No Questions doctor. Wei Wuxian frequently gets roped in to consult, as, if you give him six packs of hot chips, ten cans of monster, twelve hours, and a laptop, he can become a specialist in almost anything. Jiang Cheng was very very resistant towards the idea of his brother being allowed in the team, even just as a consultant, but the MOMENT Wei Wuxian was given any access to Shenanigans there was no fucking stopping him. In the later jobs Qin Su accidentally gets pulled into one of the cons and turns out to be a WAY better grifter than anyone could have imagined, so she winds up on the "ally call list". Meng Yao is both perturbed and proud, but absolutely draws the line at teenage Mo Xuanyu being allowed to help.

PAIRINGS: flipping the "two parents + three kids" dynamic in Leverage, this AU has 3zun and Sangcheng - so "three gege + two didi". Xiyao have a One That Got Away sort of past, and Xichen joins the team SPECIFICALLY because Meng Yao expresses emotional vulnerability by asking for help fOr OnCe In HiS fUcKiNg LiFe. Nielan dated when they were teens, and are happy to be reunited, but Mingjue refuses to rekindle a romantic relationship until Xiyao sort their shit out because it's obvious to anyone with eyes how hung up on Meng Yao Xichen is. Nieyao have a certain amount of "I'll work with you towards a common cause but that doesn't mean I have to like you" vibe, but veeery slooowlyyy wind up bonding over doing stuff they're not proud of for something they were so sure was a worthy cause at the time, but now they just feel jaded and used (there's a lot of arguments along the lines of "oh, so my corporate espionage is worse than what you did in spec ops... because the military says that what you did was legal. RIGHT. OKAY. SURE."). After several years of will-they-won't-they struggle, 3zun do get together, and everyone is very relieved. As for Sangcheng... it starts off as Huaisang just flirting kind of obnoxiously with Jiang Cheng, who rolls his eyes and snarks back, and then naturally Huaisang winds up catching feelings and is like [meme voice] Haha, I'm In Danger! He is unwilling to act on his feelings because he doesn't believe that Jiang Cheng likes him that way, and continues to believe that right up until the day Jiang Cheng snaps, and grabs him and kisses him, and is like "if I didn't actually like you flirting with me I would have punched you in the face years ago" and Huaisang is like "huh. Yeah that's probably true."