#my kid now im buying him ice cream

[stuck-in-jelly]

I'd say come pick up your kid but i don't think you even remember having one you bitch

[topguncortez]

Congratulations on 3k!!! Could i request hangman and "im just glad youre okay"? Congrats again!!

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Shy!Wifey warnings: this is a bit dark. . . mentions of break ins, blood, hiding, fear, guns, swearing, happy ending tho:) Hangman Masterlist | Opposites Attract Masterlist Main Masterlist 3 fucking K celebration

"There's been a series of break-ins in the Sunset Hills neighborhood, which has residents on alert. Channel 10 news is-"

Jake clicked the tv off and Y/N gasped, looking over her shoulder and seeing her husband standing there, his arms folded across his chest.

"Hi," She smiled sheepishly.

"Hi yourself," He answered, "What are you doing?"

"Oh, just watching the news," Y/N pushed herself up from her spot on the couch. She walked to her husband and draped her arms around his neck, "Have I told you how much I love you?"

"I told you to quit reading into all that stuff. You're not sleeping."

Y/N sighed, she had been caught yet again. Ever since the first break in about two months ago, she had been on high alert and respectfully so. Although the chief of police told the neighborhood that no one was in danger, Y/N still felt unsafe every time she'd go to bed at night. The thieves weren't robbing houses if the occupants were home. They weren't hurting anyone or anything, but were stealing thousands of dollars and destroying property.

"I have a right to know what's going on, Jake!" Y/N argued, "I need to know what to look for incase-"

"That's not going to happen, alright," Jake said, and put his hands on her hips, "We have the best security that money can buy. Every window is armed, every door to the house is armed. Plus, we have Bucky and Steve." Jake gestured to one of the German shepherds that they owned, who was asleep at Y/N's feet. Steve was more than likely sleeping by Alex's feet.

"It still doesn't help me sleep at night," She mumbled, "But it brings me some comfort."

"I know baby, it's scary, but I'm not going to let anything happen to you or my family. Understand?" Jake asked and Y/N nodded, "Now, let's go back to bed. I have like. . . three more hours of shut-eye."

--- --- ---

Dinner at the Seresin house was always chaotic, especially when Jake wasn't there to help. It was just Y/N trying to get Alex and Ella ready for dinner. Life was hard with two toddlers, especially now that Ella started walking. It seemed like every time Y/N turned her back, Ella was pulling something to the ground or sticking something in her mouth.

Jake had texted her and told her that she was going to be late, which made her frown as she sat at the dinner table, a child on either side of her. Alex was good about feeding himself, and Ella liked to throw scraps on the floor for the dogs.

"Ella, stop feeding Bucky and Steve," Y/N scolded the little girl, who just gave her a smile before throwing yet another piece of food on the floor, "Oh you are going to be so much like your father."

"Dada!" Ella exclaimed and clapped her hands together.

"Mommy, can I have ice cream?" Alex asked and Y/N looked at her little boy who had spaghetti sauce all over his face.

"Not tonight baby, it's bath and bed," Y/N said and Alex nodded.

The sun was already down, and it sent a shiver up Y/N's spine as she carried her daughter up the stairs, Alex going in front of her. She made sure all the doors were locked as soon as she came home. She also left her car in the driveway, alerting whoever might be lurking that she is home. Jake had asked their neighbor, Paul, a retired Admiral to keep an eye on the house when he wasn't home.

Once the kids were bathed and put in their pajamas, Y/N put them to bed in her room. She had texted Jake again asking where he was, but he said he was trying to get home as soon as possible. Him and Rooster were way behind on reports. Y/N sighed as she rubbed Ella's belly as she drank a bottle before bed. She read the kids a bedtime story. When she was done, she put Ella in her pack-in play and turned the lamp off. Alex snuggled up to her, and put his thumb in his mouth, his bad habit that Y/N and Jake tried to break.

Bucky laid on the floor at the foot of the bed, while Steve laid on the bed, their heads up and turned towards the door, waiting for their other owner to return home. Neither one never truly went to sleep until all of their humans were home and in their shared bed, with them curled up at their feet. Dogs were smart, and Bucky and Steve had figured there was something changing with Y/N, and had spent more time connected to her and watching over her. Bucky let out a sigh, and lowered his head to rest in between his two front paws, eyes never leaving the door.

Sleep didn't come easy to anyone in the bedroom, but once Y/N heard Ella stop fussing and turning, she finally rested a bit, still holding on to Alex. The sound of smashing glass had Y/N, Bucky and Steve up in an instant. Y/N gasped and looked around the room. Steve had jumped down and stared at the door, as he was anticipating someone or something. Bucky had gotten up too, and moved over to Ella's bed, standing protectively. Y/N jumped out of bed, grabbing your phone and holding a sleeping Alex to her chest.

She looked around the room, and went to the bathroom attached to their room. Alex woke up a bit at the jostling of his body and groaned in his sleep. His green eyes opened up to see Y/N in a panic set him down on the hard tile of the bathtub.

"Mom-"

"Shh," Y/N shushed him and grabbed a blanket, "Cover your head, be quiet." Alex nodded, too scared to say anything. She then went to the pack-in play and reached in, grabbing Ella, when she heard footsteps and voices. Steve growled and Y/N shushed him. She rushed to the closet and set Ella down with her brother.

"Hold on to Ella," Y/N told Alex and he nodded, taking Ella into his arms. Luckily, the little girl was a heavy sleepier and was still asleep. She turned the lock, and shut the door, locking the kids inside. Y/N felt her heart racing as she grabbed the pairing knife she kept underneath the mattress. She dialed 9-1-1 and held the phone to her ear as the footsteps got closer.

“I’m armed and calling 9-1-1!” Y/N yelled, hoping to scare off whoever was in her house. Bucky had moved over to the bathroom door, while Steve was still pointed at the door. Y/N moved and ran to her bedroom closet, hiding inside.

“9-1-1, what is your emergency?”

“H-hi, I think someone just broke into my house," She whispered, "I-I have kids with me."

"Ma'am, someone has already called it in, and a unit is on the way. Where are you located?"

"My kids are in the bathroom, I locked it. I'm hiding in the closet. My dogs are in the room."

"Are you armed?"

Y/N looked down at the knife in her head and let out a shaky breath, "Yes. But please hurry I think-"

Her words got cut off by the bedroom door opening and the dogs barking. Y/N clamped her hand over her mouth as she dropped the phone and held onto the knife tightly, ready to use it if needed.

--- --- ---

Jake’s eyes were straining as he drove home on the dark streets. Everything was closed, and the only thing illuminating the night sky were the street lights. He was hoping to be home earlier than two in the morning, but time had slipped past Rooster and him. Jake had to finally call it quits and go home to his family. He had been away from them all day, and his body was starting to shut down.

Except when Jake turned the corner to his street, he was met with the bright flashing lights of cop cars and ambulances. He felt bile rise in his stomach as he parked his truck, and jumped out, running towards the crowd of onlookers in their bathrobes and pajamas. The closer he got to the scene the more he recognized the cops walking around his house. He felt bile rise in his throat as he ran to the police barricade.

"Sir, you can't go through," An officer said, stopping Jake from pushing through the yellow tape.

"That's my house!" Jake yelled, pointing at the house, "That's my family!"

"Sir, it is an active crime scene," The officer said and Jake felt his knees go weak. He looked around the scene, running a hand down his face as he spotted his kids sitting in the back of an ambulance. Jake pushed his way through, despite the various officers trying to hold him back.

"Sir!" An officer grabbed him as Jake approached his kids.

"Daddy!" Alex yelled.

"Those are my kids! Those are my fucking kids!" Jake yelled, fighting against the cops hold.

"Let him go," Another cop said, and Jake was freed from the constraint. He ran straight for Alex and hugged him.

"Are you okay?" Jake asked, and looked over his son and then at the medic who was holding his daughter.

"They are both fine, sir," The medic said and handed Ella to Jake. He held his daughter tightly and placed a kiss on the top of her head, drinking in the familiar scent of her baby shampoo.

"My wife?" Jake asked, "W-where is she?"

"They took her to the Memorial, just to get some of her injuries checked out," The medic answered and Jake felt his heart stop. Alex tugged at his hand and Jake looked at his son.

"The police officer said mommy's a hero," Alex said and Jake nodded.

"Yeah, she is," Jake said, "Come on, let's go find her."

The hospital was nearly empty as Jake walked through the door, Ella on his hip and Alex holding his hand. A nurse directed him to where he could find his wife's room at. Jake was expecting the worse, as he walked down the hall towards her room. An older nurse was staying with the kids in the lobby. Jake didn't want to scar them by seeing their mother in a bad condition.

But when Jake opened the door to her room, he was met with the sight of her practically unharmed. Her face was turned away from the door, and she looked to be sleeping peacefully. He couldn't see any injury from that far away, but the closer he got, the more he could see.

"Sweets?" Jake called out softly. Y/N jumped a bit and then turned to look at her husband. His heart fell into his stomach as he saw her bruised face, "Oh my god."

"Cops said I put up one hell of a fight," She smiled, her busted lip cracking. Jake gently touched her face. Her nose was broken and was displaying a magnificent purple and blue bruise underneath her eyes. Her eyebrow had been cut and stitched up as well.

"I am so sorry," Jake sniffled, "I should've been home. I should've-"

"So you can look like this too?" Y/N asked and Jake shook his head, "We are okay. A little shaken up, but they caught the guys doing all this. No one got hurt, no one is seriously injured. We are okay."

Jake nodded and ran his thumb over her cheek bone, "I'm just glad you're okay."

"I am too," Y/N said, "I love you Jake."

"I love you too," Jake kissed her forehead.

[abilouwrites]

AMERICAN DREAM

First fic in a while 😐😃

:(no outbreak) Sarah, drinking, dilfs. Ranch on pizza, food. Hives AFAB reader. Periods

Joel would often wonder what his life would be like, would he have that American dream? Would she have stayed? Would he not be a contractor living day to day in a house he can barely afford.

Would she still be a doctor instead of running away at the sight of a positive test. Would she be the mother she wanted to be.

Maybe instead she would’ve been a stay at home mom, nursing babies and enjoying life. Would he have had that cushy job her mother approved of.

He sees her in his dream sometimes, hair tied back like always, especially when she was thinking. Hard at thought; nose in her textbooks.

But instead she was eternalized by his dreams, stuffed into baggy clothes to hide the bump, crying in the shitty apartment they were living in.

In his dreams shes standing in the kitchen, Sarah tucked under her arm as she’s mashing potatoes, angrily grunting away and blabbing about some girl on the soccer team.

Sometimes he’d like to imagine the two of them having another kid, sometimes he’d imagine her stomach swollen still covered in those hives she used to get.

Sarah gets them, stressed, in the sun too much. Her skin flares and she ends up with her skin scratched raw, spoon feeding her ice cream in an ice bath.

He’d imagine her, kissing him at the door and untightening his tie, taking his briefcase and setting it by the coffee table he built.

Instead he’s taking his flannel off and seeing Sarah once again making eggs, “hi sweetie, you ok?” He’ll ask kissing the part of her hair.

“Yeah, I made eggs.” She always says, “I put cheese in them too. If you grab some of the bread and toast it I can put some bacon on too”

“No ‘m alright sweetheart. The guys ordered pizza, brought you some for lunch tomorrow”

“Thanks” she says, scratching the back of her hair to which Joel lifts it up seeing the small lumps with red circles around, “hives”

“Uh oh, do I need to go buy icecream?” He jokes

“No, no im fine.”

It’s when Sarah starts truly growing up when he is at a loss; unsure of what to do. Confused and nervous. But aware of the young adult neighbors who’d moved in.

It’s an awkward situation, nervously knocking on a door he’s only interacted with once. And that was just introducing himself and Sarah.

It’s just about seven at night, and a young woman appears at the door after some shouting. It’s clear she’s half asleep; the television blaring in the background. There’s a girl passed out on the floor and the woman at the door turns back, “Becca, turn Sofie on her side. If she barfs she’s gonna choke” she stares before closing the door.

A southern accent drawls from her voice, one clearly hidden from years out of state, “somethin I can help you with?” She asks, sweeping some hair out of her eyes.

“M so sorry for the bother, my daughter. Uh Sarah. She’s uh” he nervously looks at the ground, “got her period.. and I uh don’t know what to do”

“Oh yeah, give me a sec”

She runs back inside; and whilst Joel is completely expecting for her to ditch she comes out later with a box of pads, “I remember her, uh will you show me to her?” The twenty something girl.

He leads her upstairs knocking on the crummy white door, “sar, it’s one of the neighbors. She’s a uh. Girl and I think she will know what to do”

“Ok..” the muffled voice is shaky and clear that she had been crying.

“Hey. I’m y/n” you tell her your name and she responds with hers.

“Y/n, I’ll be downstairs. Beer?”

“No thank you Mr.Miller. I don’t drink on school nights”

“Alright. I’ll be downstairs”

You see him more and more, drinks now and then. Babysitting for some extra cash. A cool house that isn’t full of partying.

He finds you, usually asleep on the couch, Sarah’s head on your lap. He sees the similarities between you and her, heat hives.

It’s unexpected when he finds you in the shower, “you alright?”

“Gosh I’m sorry Mr.Miller, Im breaking out in hives and Sarah said I could use the cold shower”

“No, you’re alright. Do I pop a bottle of wine and order pizza?”

“God that’d be lovely.”

Joel never opens wine unless it’s with you, and you manage do drink half of it. And half a pizza, with Sarah’s assistance of course, “I didn’t know a sorority girl could eat that much” Joel jokes seeing you dip your pizza into some ranch.

“Mnh, I also played volleyball and was on my collages soccer team before I graduated” You say, “never missed a meal, kept my mass up, I’m on the bulk right now” You inform

“Jesus, ranch with pizza? What are you a wild animal”

You laugh at him as Sarah looks disapprovingly. He still walks you home and waits for you to lock the door before he goes home.

Sarah is still there, eating leftover pepperoni, “you like her” she states

“Don’t lie you lil twerp”

“No I’m serious, non of the others made you open up like that, and I wouldn’t mind having her around. I mean she basically lives here anyways”

[landslided]

Sorry if it's boring, but continuing with LawRusso AU Johnny princess, I really like the "enchanted" movie and I can't stop thinking about Johnny being Giselle singing to the rats and cockroaches to clean Daniel and Sam's house lol

as a rule of thumb it is NEVER boring to send me asks, especially ones like these where i can have fun and think of AUs! and you picked a movie i love so this is just a win win for me!!

let’s get into it:

lawrusso enchanted AU is such a good idea im almost jealous i didn’t think of it myself!!

i think daniel and amanda got divorced amicably a few years ago and she still lives in los angeles but daniel moved back to jersey to be closer to lucille and he took sam with him (im imagining this as a story without anthony because it fits better, sorry anthony).

daniel still works as a divorce lawyer because that is just funny to me and it’s canon to the movie and he has this perpetual look of "im one shirt sleeve caught on a door handle away from snapping" look because being a single father is hard work and yeah, he and amanda co-parent but sam is with him most of the time and by moving here he’s always made himself more prone to special lucille larusso mother attacks of "you never visit even now that you’re so close" "you’re so skinny, do you cook actual food or just eat take out?" "are you coming for christmas? all your cousins will be there and also that nice girl you liked when you were a kid, judy? maybe it’s time to get back into dating, daniel!"

amanda has planned to come into the city to spend the holidays with her daughter and ex-husband and i see her as a platonic nancy role.

sam is in her full princess era and she’s making both her parents crazy with all the singing and dancing (and kicking furniture because she’s a karate princess)

meanwhile, in andalasia, johnny who is both prince(ss) and hero dreams of finding his one true love and sighs at his window. he’s been locked away in a tower by his evil step-dad kreese and he’s waiting for someone to come and save him (or at least just open the door of his magically locked tower because he can surely save himself).

carmen who happens to be a princess and hero herself has gone on a quest to save the lost prince of andalasia and with her help, johnny manages to escape the tower, defeat a forest troll and take back his throne from kreese’s claws. he and carmen tentatively get together (but deep down both feel this might not be the right fit for each other) and as johnny makes his way to his own royal wedding he’s sent to Real Life New Jersey and meets daniel and sam.

i kind of see giselle’s wedding dress for him but with pants for a more Realistic outfit but… screw realism i want johnny lawrence in that EXACT outfit!

also imagine scott mccall the equalizer soft mullet with a tiara, it’s just too good. ALSO imagine carmen IN THIS!!!!

you KNOW she would rock this!!

oh and yeeees, johnny summoning rats and insects in daniel’s apartment to clean and sam is SOOOOO excited because that’s a real life prince(ss) who also happens to be a great fighter and they do karate moves while also talking about johnny’s best friend, a chipmunk called bobby.

sam and johnny going on a shopping spree and buying a bunch of stuff and eating ice cream. johnny going to the hairdresser and having his hair cut to look more traditionally masculine (daniel doesn’t want to look into why it makes him sad) because he he keeps getting looks from people in the street for his dress and long hair.

johnny making clothes out of daniel’s curtains and daniel is all you could just ASK me for MY clothes you are not THAT much bigger than i am. johnny making a gi for sam out of pastel pink flower fabric from an old blanket and daniel is like okay… i have to admit that’s pretty adorable.

johnny in the park singing to daniel, who has been wondering if he should take his mom’s advice and try to get back with amanda, hoooow dooooes she knooooow you loooove heeeer (johnny stop, people are looking at us) and johnny has that giselle/animated princess innocence but there is still very much an edge of assholery to him where every time he can he embarrasses daniel as much as possible.

(carmen running around new jersey trying to find her prince(ss) and being like i kind of hate this i wish this was more sunny, also why do i keep getting questions about being on broadway what is a broad a way)

daniel and johnny fighting because johnny keeps saying carmen will come get him and daniel is so fed up with it ("no, johnny, it’s just not gonna happen." "no? is that the only word you know, larusso? no?! oh my god you make me so, so so!!!" "so what?" "so angry!" cue sparring in the living room because that’s how they deal with emotions )

johnny and daniel falling in love montage and then CARMEN AND AMANDA FALLING IN LOVE MONTAGE!!! YES I WILL SNEAK CARMANDA IN EVERYTHING EVER!!

kreese coming to new jersey to finish the job, daniel and johnny going to the ball and daniel giving johnny a true love’s kiss, kreese turning into a dragon and kidnapping daniel, johnny chasing them on the roof with carmen’s sword in his hand and finally getting rid of his evil step-father to save his one true love!!

"is this an habit of yours, daniel? falling off of stuff?"

"only when you’re there to catch me."

lawrusso new jersey happy ending and carmanda los angeles happy ending because amanda wouldn’t go to andalasia when sam is there and hey! carmen would love a break from being a fairytale hero! she wants to go to the beach!

daniel quits his job because it makes him miserable and he and johnny open a dojo together which sam is very excited about and lucille is so happy that her son has found someone and seems to be happier than ever.

they all go to andalasia once in a while to visit bobby and the other three chipmunks (you know who they are) and they all live happily ever after.

the end!

[kinz-aeh]

Summer 85 - Eddie Munson

Part 1 (1/?)

Summary: You’re working at Scoops Ahoy and find yourself in front of your crush serving him ice cream.

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem!reader

Warnings: Might have some swearing, it’s mostly fluff, might have some suggestive idea but not much details. Tell me if I need to put more warnings

Authors note: Hey there ! (oh dear I’m scared) First time posting here. I apologize, English is not my first language, I hope at least I did okay for that first part, let me know if you’d like more ! Have a good day !

**Idk how to tag people in here im new to tumblr, best I can do is leaving the link to part 2 here. Again im sorry, I’m just very confused.

Part 2 ________

It was summer time, but, as expected, your parent’s didn’t want you to sit in your bedroom all day, all summer and do nothing but listen to music and read magazines. At first, you said to yourself that you would go out from time to time with some friends. But all of them had family activities or went away on vacation. Things that would only leave you and yourself all alone for the rest of the summer. So you just decided to earn money by applying to Scoops Ahoy, in order to buy yourself more music cassettes.

You loved music. All kinds, pop, rock, punk, classical, even metal. You had an insane music collection back at home, a mix of cassettes you’ve bought yourself or received as presents. One thing was for sure, you always wanted to be a radio host. You loved sharing music, and talk about all those artists that just debuted and broke into the music industry. It was a passion. But, aside your best friends, not many people knew about that.

There was also Edward Munson who knew that, even if he might have forgotten by now. At school, you two were in the same english class. Back then, the teacher gave a project to do in groups of two. Since none of your friends were in the same class, you were left all alone, and so was Eddie. So, of course the teacher decided to put the two of you together. When he first spoke to you, you felt strange. His eyes, his smile, the way he would play with his hair, all of this would make you feel… Some type of way. He was kind to you, but he didn’t seem interested in the project, neither did he seem interested in you, even when you told him a bit about yourself. You never told your friends about this little crush you developed for him. And, secretly, you found yourself looking at him across the cafeteria during lunch time, always sitting with his friend at his table and you with yours.

You never had the courage to go talk to him, and neither did he ever went to talk to you again. Summer came and you didn’t get to see him. You were working at the ice cream parlor, with Steve ‘’The Hair’’ Harrington and Robin, nothing else. You didn’t go out as much, since working got you a bit tired and there wasn’t much to do after closed hours. You worked for long hours, scooping ice cream for kids and dealing with bad customers. And how could you forget Miss Sinclair, always ringing that bell to try every flavors of ice cream, twice, almost everyday. You at least became good friends with Steve and Robin. They were kind to you and when you had time at the shop you guys would joke around a little bit. It made your days a little bit better.

And today came. A very long day at Starcourt Mall. You had to close the store, and deal with customers again. When you arrived at the ice cream parlor, Robin and Steve were already there, dealing with various customers. You had your famous uniform on, and had to put the hat too. You went in the back store to get yourself prepared and then proceeded to start your work. As Steve and Robin were handling the clients, you started to do a store check up, and the usual cleaning stuff you had to do.

‘’Oh hey Y/N, didn’t see you come in ! How are you ?’’ Asked Robin as she turned to you when she finished with her clients. She smiled at you, but you could see how tired she already was. At first it seamed to be her makeup, but then you saw that her eyes were puffier than usual.

‘’Hey, I’m doing fine, but you seem tired, are you ok ?’’ You asked and Steve turned to the two of you.

‘’Hi Y/N’’ He said simply, letting Robin respond to your question.

‘’Yeah, well tired as usual, didn’t get to sleep much.’’ She said in a sigh. You nodded and turned to Steve.

‘’Hi Steve, hope you’re doing fine’’ You said with a shy smile and he only nodded back to you. Robin laughed a little, pointing at you the white board she left on the side.

‘’Dingus still tried to flirt with some girl. Wanna guess what happened ?’’ Robin asked to you in a little laugh. You shrugged and looked at Steve, who was clearly embarrassed but tried to hide it the best he could.

‘’Please Robin, stop with that. You clearly know its the hat !’’ He said, and there it goes, both of them were talking and arguing.

You laughed a little a them, but then your gaze turned to the outside of the parlor, where you could see a part of the mall. People were walking from everywhere, gathering, talking to one another. They all seemed happy to just spend some time around here. But, to your surprise, not far away, you could see a head you just knew so well. His hair was tied in a low bun, and replacing his usual Hellfire Club shirt, he was now wearing a metal group T-shirt, with his usual jeans and handkerchief in his back pocket. Your eyes stoped for a sec at his butt, the jeans fitted Eddie so well. You realized he was laughing, talking to his group friend, and walking away from the parlor. Your eyes followed him. You found yourself biting your lower lip as you dreamed a bit. How would it feel to just come up to him, hug him, smile at him, talk to him. You felt your heart flutter for a sec. Just the fact that he was in the same mall as you made you feel sick, love sick. And your expression on your face, your stillness, got the attention of both Steve and Robin.

‘’Y/N, you ok there ?’’ Asked Steve, resting his hand on your shoulder. You woke up from your slight daydreaming and turned to your coworkers. ‘’Oh ! Yeah absolutely ! Why ?’’ But Robin didn’t believe a single thing of what you said. You cheeks felt hot, and your voice felt softer than usual.

‘’Steve, I think we have a case here.’’ Robin said, suddenly smiling. She cracked you. She just knew. And Steve ‘’Fucking Hair’’ Harrington was smiling from ear to ear as he knew too. ‘’So ! Tell us Y/N, who is the lucky number ?’’ Asked Steve, winking at you, teasing you obviously.

You immediately hid your face in your hands, sighing and letting out a little sound of despair. Nobody have to know, they don’t have to know ! It’s personal ! You didn’t have to say it ! But, this feeling in your chest, of keeping it for yourself, you needed it out ! It was suddenly tempting ! To just say his name. But Eddie Munson had a reputation, what would they think ? You’re some kind of girl who crushed on bad boys during her rebel phase ? No, you didn’t have a phase, you didn’t have a crush on a bad boy, you have a crush on Edward Munson. ‘’If I say so, you guys are going to laugh at me’’ You said, a little ashamed of yourself. Robin smiled at you and gave you a comforting hug. ‘’You don’t have to be ashamed Y/N. At least if it’s not Keith from the video store… Please don’t tell me its Keith.’’ Mumbled Steve.

‘’No ! It’s not Keith at all… It’s…’’ But you stopped. You were scared to say his name, and be laughed at for your dumb, young love sick feelings. Even if Robin was comforting you. And Steve really seemed to root for you and your crush. ‘’I mean, everyone thinks he’s…’’ You stopped again and looked around making sure that Eddie wasn’t near from you. ‘’Everyone thinks he’s a freak… But he’s kind and, nice looking ! I mean. He’s hot no doubt… But, you guys will probably think I’m stupid to have the hots for him.’’

‘’If you say Billy…’’ Steve started but you cut him off.

‘’No ! Not Billy, he’s a duche. I mean… Not to be mean and all… Is just… It’s…’’ You looked again, making sure nobody else would hear you. ‘’I like Eddie Munson.’’

The look on their face made you immediately feel bad. Well, until Robin came to give you a big hug. They were both surprised since they never actually saw you talk to him. And also surprised to now know he was the type you liked. You hid again your face as you felt your cheeks get even hotter. You held this urge to just run into the freezer and barricade yourself in it.

‘’Really ?’’ Asked Steve, tilting his head on the side. But Robin punched him in the shoulder to shut him off. ‘’Ow ! What that for !’’

‘’It’s ok Y/N ! You don’t have to be ashamed, you have the right to love whoever you want ! Steve and me, we are just a little bit confused, and surprised. I mean, where does that come from ?’’ She asked you. But as you were about to respond, you heard the famous Scoops Ahoy bell ring.

‘’Talking gossip while at work, I see.’’ This voice was too familiar. You didn’t want to turn, and yet, you found yourself looking right at Eddie. He was there, his arms crossed on the counter, leaning forward and looking at you with a big smile on. Jesus H, he was hot just standing like that. His tied hair, with some strands falling on the sides of his face. You heart just couldn’t stop beating and for quite a while you thought everyone was hearing it. Robin silently pushed you toward the cash register and pulled Steve to the back store. ‘’Oh ! Hey Eddie, long time no see !’’ You said, with a shaky voice. You approached him slowly at the cash register, pulling your most beautiful… Working smile. ‘’What can I serve you today ?’’

Eddie looked at you for a moment, then glanced behind him. His friends were all sitting at a table, talking, like usual. He then looked back at you, slightly tilting his head on the side.

‘’Yeah, long time no see. Hum…’’ He paused for a second and looked at his hands, playing a little with his silver rings. His tongue was slightly out, as if he was thinking before talking. It made you feel weak to the knees. ‘’Tell me, what’s your favorite flavor ?’’ He asked you, and you just took a moment to finally respond to him, in a little shaky voice you were trying to hold so much.

‘’I’d say strawberry. It’s so good.’’ You said, forcing yourself to look at him in the eyes.

‘’Can I try some ?’’ He asked kindly, still leaned forward. You nodded and took a small spoon, scooping a small amount of your favorite flavored ice cream. You tried your best not to shake. You handed him the small spoon, but instead of taking it in his hand, he slowly leaned a bit more toward you and straight up put the small spoon in his mouth. And he was looking right at you. After a moment, you just let go of the spoon nervously, looking away from his gaze. You felt as if he was trying something on you. He laughed a little and turned to look at his friends. ’’I don’t actually know what these guys want. So hum… Maybe something we could all share together. I don’t know… Surprise me Y/N.’’

He remembered your name, that made you smile a little more, shyly. You hid a little your hands, feeling the tip of your fingers shake a little after this event. Your heart just couldn’t stop pounding in your chest. And you were trying your best to breath normally.

‘’Banana boats are great to share with friends.’’ You said, trying to hold your shaking voice even more.

He smiled at you and turned to his friend. ‘’Guys, banana boat, sounds good ?’’ He asked and they all agreed.

You nodded and turned to start the Banana boat, but right there, at the window, your two friendly coworkers were smiling from ear to ear, spying on you. Steve was eating a banana, as if he would eat popcorn at a movie theater, his eyes wide open on the two of you ready to see what the next step it’s gonna be. You loosed your smile a second, pretended they didn’t exist, then started your boat. You then remembered your uniform. You thought you must be the ugliest right now, working in front of your crush in a blue sailor uniform. You felt ashamed. As you scooped the ice cream, you felt Eddie’s eyes looking right at you. It wasn’t the most perfect banana boat, maybe the ugliest you made, but still delicious. You were so nervous in front of him. Then you came to give it to him. ‘’I’m sorry, maybe I should make another one instead, I messed it up a little.’’ You said to Eddie, showing the young metalhead the boat you just made.

‘’It’s fine Y/N. It’s still going to taste great. How much ?’’ He asked.

‘’2.90$… Huh, you sure you don’t want me to make another ?’’ You asked as he paid.

‘’How caring. Thank you, sweetheart, you deserve a tip.’’ At this you just completely froze, looking at him and feeling your face hotter by the time. ‘’You… You really don’t have to Eddie !’’ But he only winked at you while giving yo some crumpled cash in your hand. Then he turned, going to his table.

You awkwardly stood there, with the money in your hands. You then decided to move, and put the money at its righteous place, the tip jar. You then turned at the window who was now closed, and decided to go hide in the back store. When the door closed behind you, you almost let yourself drift away, you almost screamed and started to cry, but you hold everything up. You were ashamed, you could’ve done something better ! And your uniform ! It was so ugly !

‘’He called you sweetheart !’’ Murmured Robin, super excited by this encounter. But you just sat at the table in silence. Both your friends started to worry.

‘’He probably just said that because he thinks it’s funny, or something like that.’’ You said, slumping on the table, hiding your face in your arms. ‘’With the look on his face, Oh my Jesus I swear he’s in love Y/N.’’ Said Robin, in a small chuckle. Your eyes slowly looked up at her.

‘’Wait, really ?’’ And she nodded, eyes wide open, huge smile on her face. Steve, next to her, still eating that banana, was nodding too.

‘’Can I just say that Eddie is better at flirting than Steve.’’ She said in a laugh, and Steve’s head turned to Robin, yet again disappointed in her comments. ‘’I mean he literally ate ice cream out of the spoon YOU, my dear, were holding ! That’s hot !’’ The bell rang again and Steve decided to go instead of you. He knew that you weren’t in a stable emotional situation to deal with clients right now, and he was tired to hear Robin make comments about his flirting skills. ‘’When you were making that boat, he was playing with his hair, and he was biting his lips while looking at you. Clearly, that’s a sign that the feeling is mutual.’’ Robin said.

‘’I don’t believe you, have you seen our uniform ? It’s ugly ! Who would be drooling over that kinda crap !’’ You shook your head, not believing a single thing of what just happened. You got up ready to go back and face the world again.

‘’Let’s talk about it another day, it’s almost giving me a headache.’’ You said, as you pushed the door for the front store. You then met Erica and her besties, all there to ’try out’’ the ice cream again. Steve was standing there, waiting for that awful time to pass. You looked passed the counter to see that Eddie’s table was now left with a banana split emptied bowl. Yet again, you felt disappointed.

— 🍦A H O Y 🍦—

It was finally closing hours, you guys were exhausted by that long day. The smell of ice cream started to make you feel a bit nauseous, and you just wanted to finally get away from this hell of a parlor faster than you came in. Robin was counting the cash and Steve was cleaning the floor with the mop. You were cleaning the rest of the store. Then ready to go, you guys counted the tip jar, looking at all the cash you made for yourselves. Steve looked at one of the tips and chuckled a little.

‘’Funny, someone wrote something on this’’ He said showing it to the both of you. Robin gasped a second, and then in your turn, you gasped as you read on the crumpled dollar:

I’ll wait for you in the parking lot. - EM

‘’That’s actually creepy’’ said Robin in a laugh. ‘’What ?’’ Asked Steve, not understanding. Then he read it again. And he gasped too, making a surprised expression. ‘’Y/N ! I think you have a date !’’

‘’No way…’’

[maiko1]

Step siblings spending time with you day! (ft: kazuha, kamisato siblings, ragnvindr brothers. <bonus character: xiao, scaramouche>)

Kazuha

Free man indeed. I feel like everyday is spending time together with siblings when it comes to him.

U can't tell me he hands you a bug u didn't like to scare you, then he'll share a fact about them to make it less scary, though you still fear them u will try to overcome ur fear by coming closer to the bug while kazuha hiding behind a tree smiling.

Let you go on a adventure on a ship with beidou if u behave (you behave all the time and you often see beidou.)

Carry you randomly just to hear you whine about you being embarrassed to be piggy back by their older brother.

He won't ever use "step siblings" on you when he's introducing you to his friend.

"this is my siblings___" :D

"you two don't even look alike--"

"they're my siblings." :)

"whoa okay okay, they're ur siblings I guess."

Kamisato ayaka and ayato

"don't steal their boba ayato! We buyed you 2.."

You can't tell me (again) that he doesn't bully you to see you cry for fun. (typical brother)

Ayato probably dressed you up in a weird combo clothes and call it a unique style.

"thoma, great time. Take a good look at the clothes combo I did to __"

"o-oh waka, it looks amazing."

"im gonna be the greatest model in the future!!"

"oh yes you will"

Thoma made a doll that looks like you, ayato and ayaka and now it's your toys.

"im sorry ___ I'm not really the best at making dolls.." (hes lying)

"mine now." yes and now it belongs to you. Not even ur siblings can touch them.

Though they're so busy dealing with the clan, they would do anything to spend time with their little siblings.

Kaeya & diluc

Kaeya? Bully? Absolutely but yk he also pampered you. He likes to bite that mochi cheek of yours.

"what's for dinner?" diluc said confused since it's kaeya who wana cook dinner.

"today is a special menu. I introduce you... ____ chicken roast!"

(you dressed up like a chicken with carrot and a potato on ur hands)

"first of all, where did u get that costum- nvm don't ANSWER it. Second.. I thought u were gonna be serious about the dinner stuff. I even send adelinde home early today."

"oh..."

"oh oh! Maybe diluc can cook!!" you suggest.

"only this time."

Diluc? No he won't let you enter the tavern at all. After all you are still underage. "aww... Why does floaty cute paimon get to get inside while I can't ?!"

"because I trust her friend, traveler that she won't be drinking. Even paimon herself said she don't drink and only drink apple juice or sweet drink."

"so you don't trust me..?" oh god the guilt tripping...

"i- uh.... Ugh fine. You better behave or ill send jean to look after you." you giggled and nodded. Holding ur big brother hand to get inside made him smile.

If diluc is not available then kaeya is. If both of them are not available you would be sitting in a living room with adelinde comforting you. While they're doing their own work, they can't help but feel uneasy. Like something is missing. And that's where it hit them. It's siblings spend time together day.

Diluc was fast to get home since he can rely on his worker to cover his job, meanwhile kaeya would speed up and finish his work asap and went back home. There he will see diluc terribly comforting you while he took a deep breath and ready to spend a day with both of you.

Bonus!

Xiao

Siblings spend time together day? Absurd. Why would an adeptus let go of his work just to spend time together with you?

"brother.. where are we going?" you ask curious. "somewhere." - -

No no that won't work. They might be traumatised if they saw me kill some lame hilichurls. So what did he do? Put blindfold on you.

No!!! Ugh I am not having any idea. Why does this day even exist I can just send them to hu tao but no, hu tao will do a massive chaos if ____ is with her.

Ah. "lets play a game. Whoever got to Mr zhongli first can get free ice cream." i can't believe I said this but who am I kidding it's a child I'm taking care of. "okay! I'm gonna beat you!!"

"okay, ready? 3..2-" there you go with ur little leg running towards Mr zhongli. "hey I didn't even count to 3 yet-" but. I couldn't say that out loud, seeing them running to Mr zhongli kinda make me relaxed a bit. All these years I've been slaying demons and not once I've ever thought about smiling on a mortal doing silly thing just for an ice cream.

Just as he was about to walk towards you, you happen to trip on some random rock (zhongli go get ur rock). Not thinking at all he dashed towards you grabbing you throwing you up in the sky before catching you.

Never thought an adeptus could do something like that..

"never. Never again. Be careful ____! You could've gotten hurt if me or Mr zhongli isn't here. It's not like I'd leave you alone but still."

"hehe again brother again!" what. "what no! That's dangerous."

After alot of begging he throw u up in the sky with a permission of Mr zhongli. You could see the beautiful view from up there. Your eye shine and you were never been happier.

None of you want this to end. <3

Scaramouche

Siblings spending time together day? Who is he kidding. He is NOT doing that.

"brother you look funny with a mask and a hat! Here let me help you." you said as you take his hat and put it on ur head. "that's just an excuse to take my hat huh."

"can we go to that dango shop? I've seen people eat it and I wana try it!" you take his hand and ran towards the shop. "and who's gonna pay for it huh brat?" both of you know its just his ego personality. He doesn't mean that word. "you of course!" you smiled. That once a smile that made his own mother disowned him. Ridiculous.

"hey are you okay? Did he do anything bad to you?" a random guy ask you. "I'm okay??" you are so damn confused but your brother scaramouche seem to get that alot. Separate. That's what he's trying to do.. Dirty little shit.

"hey ____ take this mora and buy me and you a balloon." he said as you nodded. Scaramouche and him watch you skip a step to the guy who sell balloon.

"care to explain on why would you say that to them?" demanding him to speak but that guy seem not to get a hint that he's in fact a harbingers. Eleven fatui harbingers to be put? How dare he talk back to scaramouche. He even dare to look down on him.

"you treat them like a toy. Nobody treat a kid like that! You better walk away before I call a soldier to make you go away from that innocent child."

.....

"you are ruining them."

Snap. That's it. He waste no time and take his hand to a place with least people. "listen here. I didnt know you were so bold to talk to a in fact a harbingers with this manner. And I didn't even know you had the nerve to look down on me as if I was a pathetic shit to you. They're my siblings. If you or ur man land a hand on them you won't be seeing sun nor star."

Scaramouche face expression soon turn satisfied when he piss himself like a 8 year old kid would after getting spanked by their mother.

He came back and see you sitting on a bench with a sad face. "what's the long face huh.."

"you were gone without me! I don't wana be apart from you not even a second!!" you huffed. He was mute for a second before he smirk. "silly brat, I would never go anywhere without you. Just now someone want to talk to me which I end up yelling at them for ruining the moment I am having with my little siblings."

"can you imagine? 'sir, we need you' and I don't. I dont need them and they better be begging more if they rlly want me to come but no they gave up so soon." (I'm targeting you scaraboobs nations /hj)

You smile turn into laugher. "you're the best brother I could ever ask for!" you hugged him as he took ur hat off before hugging you back. "i know."

Hello! It seem that you have reach the end of this headcanon. I do hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoy writing this. I am opening a request where u could request me some platonic hc! I accept every character, so you wouldn't have to worry about ur fav character not being there.

Well since you also read that, how about a follow? No pressure of course. Hehe <3 have an amazing day/night on wherever you are, a reminder that you are incredibly awesome and I hope you will be happy until the end.

[strlstlvr]

SUMMER TIME HIGH TIME, summer time with txt ♡

- it’s hot outside and the only thing you want to do is make memories with your favorite boy !

⋆·˚ ༘ * fluff, kinda crack lol

୨⎯ YEONJUN ⎯୧

- activity: cafe hopping and shopping!

- listen there’s nothing this man loves more than fashion and an iced americano on a hot day

- since the heat has just begun this calls for a shopping spree and he wanted to take you with him to spoil you with one as well

- “yeonjun-ah, you don’t need to do this i have my own money” “yeah but you only like to spend it on other people or our merch”

- yeah he got you with that one

- makes sure to pay attention to your body language

- ex. if you start unintentionally sighing, he’ll suggest sitting somewhere for a quick rest but if he notices your attitude completely change he’ll suggest going back home

- buys literally everything you touch with interest, defo buys something matching

- you guys leave the shopping center with so many bags in hand, yeonjun carrying them all of course

୨⎯ SOOBIN ⎯୧

- activity: ice cream date indoors!

- soobin is an introvert and any chance he gets he’s gonna stay inside, especially on a hot day

- “binnie it’s so nice outside! we should go enjoy the day!”, then he looks at you with puppy eyes “but i already set up the kitchen to look like an ice cream shop and bought a bunch of different flavors!”

- how could you say no to him?

- when you walk into the kitchen, behind the island is kai in the same outfit he wore in the loser lover mv, “hello welcome to kai’s ice cream shop! what could i get for you?”

- it takes everything in you not to laugh, the boy just looks so cute you wanna pinch his cheeks

- soobin leads you forward to look at the choices of ice cream, there are only two flavors, your favorite and his

- you both request your flavors and take your bowls to the table,, “i’m gonna leave now but let me know if you guys need anything else!” hyuka says leaving you two to yourselves

- once he’s out of view you finally let go of the laugh you’ve been holding in, “how did you convince him to do this?” “let’s just say i owe him a new plush”

୨⎯ BEOMGYU ⎯୧

- activity: late night drive singing your fave songs!

- hopping into the car with your favorite blanket in hand and beomgyu throwing the bag of snacks into your lap while climbing into the drivers seat, you settle in comfortably

-before putting the car in drive he puts on his playlist dedicated to these kinds of nights with you

- these songs range anywhere from musicals to txt’s own songs, but mainly including songs you love to hear him sing

- rolling down your windows feeling the cool summer’s eve breeze as beomgyu drives to nowhere you breathe in the feeling

- even though beomgyu is chaotic as shit moments like this with him are the ones that take away your worries and stress the most

- depending on the song, you usually don’t sing much, you’d rather listen to his calming and deep voice

- as the night progresses, you both begin to climb your sugar high and those calming moments before become the chaotic ones you’re used to

- “GYU PAY ATTENTION TO THE ROAD WERE GONNA CRASH” “IM SORRY BUT HOW COUKD YOU NOT HEAD BANG TO THIS SONG??”

୨⎯ TAEHYUN ⎯୧

- activity: swimming!

- taehyun’s favorite activity is swimming and the moment you decide to come with him he’s even more eager to get in the pool

- wether or not you decide to get in the pool, he still enjoys your company and never pressures you to get in though he will splash you here and there

- “y/n?” “sorry what?” yes, you zoned out checking him out, what else did you expect 🤷🏽‍♀️

- he reminds you of a little kid as he swims around with the biggest smile on his face

- now if you do decide to get in, he’d be so excited ready to show you any cool things he could do under water

- if the members did come along it’d be a chicken fight almost immediately, no doubt

- wether he’s on your shoulders or the other way around you guys stick together as a team to beat the other boys

- eventually the other boys get sick of the water and get out saying something about feeling like a prune

- “hey tyun, wanna play mermaids?” he does a quick sweep of the area making sure no members are near, “i’d love to play mermaids y/n”

୨⎯ HUENING KAI ⎯୧

- activity: drive in movie theater!

- kai is so bf!! the car you take is a borrowed suv and kai decorated it so aesthetically pleasing with plushies, blankets and pillows everywhere (100% looked on pinterest for inspo)

- you guys brought your own snacks and drinks and he somehow managed to hide a mini cooler in the seats????

- the movie you guys chose to watch was a horror movie so every jumpscare had kai hiding behind you

- “kai why did you choose a scary movie if you don’t like them?” “it was the only movie that looked interesting! i didn’t think it’d scare me this bad!”

- the suv is so comfortable you both actually end up falling asleep during the movie, only waking up to the sounds of the other cars starting up to leave

- “i can’t believe we slept through the movie” “i know, we should just have a sleep over in the back of the car”, that’s when you both look at eachother

- the next morning, you wake up to the rest of txt’s members knocking on the windows of the car interrogating you both as to why you fell asleep in the suv

a/n! i’m itching for summer to start where i live it’s still so cold and was literally snowing earlier this week😞😞😞

[tonberry-yoda]

HALLOOO AGAIN ITSA MEEE

ᵀʰᵒᵘᵍʰ ᶦᵈᵗ ʸᵘ ᵏⁿᵒ ʷʰᵒ ᵐᵉᵉ ᶦˢ-

to say you is speed is an understatement- i too, get excited when i see you posting croc man content- your writing is just muah 💪💪💪💪

Also- yes i would like a nickname :D, dats hec COOL-

Behold,

✨Helicopter anon✨

Bc ykno- it goes brrrr and brrr is good for health 😌

ANYWAY- HERES ANOTHERRRR

I hope im not spamming requests- you can take your time of course 😤

These are just ideas for you :)

Ok business time 👹

👏Crocman dad👏trying👏to👏protect👏his👏child's👏innocence 👏

Like crocodile has bad habits right-: smoking (a l o t o f s m o k i n g), mafia business, cussing, angery and stuff like that.

To start- He wont smoke around his child, if his child appears out of nowhere he would most prob like yeet his cigar somewhere HAHAHAHAH

Doesnt talk about his underworld business when his child is present, imagine his agents or his clients coming in straight up with details of his work like "sir i got rid of tha-" *croc staring daggers at dem with his kid playing in his office*

Also, since he spends alot of time with his wife and child, when there is a needed time to k e e l somebody he just hands his child that he's holding, to his wife c a l m l y and the wife who knows whats abouta go down and just goes "whoops lets go buy ice cream shall we" *walks away* bc queen knows 😌

He just avoids everything possibly bad

I hope this gave you some ideas-

Again, you can take 1% of these or add and its still foine

Thank youuuu

HAVE A GDAY GDAYYYYY✨😤

OH MY GOODNESS, i was waiting for you to put in another request lol. i love your requests so much they give me so much writing inspiration! seriously though, your requests are amazing. And helicopter anon is literally perfect, when i tell you me and my sister were cracking up when you chose that name. I love it. and i love these croc as a father writings, they are so good! now onward! i did what i could, so please enjoy and have a great day helicopter anon!! <333

Croc as a father part 4!

Warnings - none!

Word Count - 550

Notes - again, thank you for the request helicopter anon! i love these and now my requests are finally open so you can request another if you're down!! have a great day and i really hope you enjoy!!! stay hydrated!!! <33333 (image not mine)

and now requests are OPEN!!! please check my pinned post before requesting!!

“Dear,” you played with the collar of Crocodile’s button up trying to ignore the cigar smoke flying around your face. “I've been meaning to talk to you about…” you flicked his cigar and he giggled, kissing your neck. “This.”

“Huh?” Crocodile moved from his neck looking down at his cigar. “This? What about this?”

“Uhm… It's just… our son. I don't want-”

“Oh, I haven't been doing it around him.”

You tilted your head, trying to think back to the times of all of you hanging out together. “You haven't?”

“Nope. You think I want my six year old to know what I do for a living?”

You giggled and played with the bottom of Croc’s hair. “I don't know why I ever doubted you.”

If Crocodile was being fully honest with you though, it was the most impossible thing he had to do. Hiding your mafia identity from a sporadic child was hands down the hardest thing in the world.

For example, one time, he was just in his office working when his six year old burst in the room making airplane noises as he ran back and forth with a toy plane. Crocodile has never thrown something so long and far, but his cigar ended up on the other side of the room while his child turned to him with a goofy smile asking what that was.

Or when Crocodile was teaching his son how to use a map and one of his employees walked in.

“Sir, we took care of the body you wanted us to hi-”

Crocodile had never stared at someone with such force. He pointed to his child who was coloring the map with sharks and fish and pointed to the door, forcing his employee out.

All Crocodile’s son knew Crocodile to be a big teddy bear. Someone who would help him whenever he had a nightmare. Someone who loved his momma with all of his heart and soul. Someone he looked up to.

Crocodile knew that eventually he would have to tell his son about his business, hopefully have him take it over when the time came. But for now he was learning. Trying to figure out the world. The last thing he needed to know was Crocodile’s grudge against Monkey D. Luffy and the fact that he had been to jail and that he had committed multiple crimes. That was for another day.

Whenever he was curious though, it was always your job to step up.

“Honey,” Crocodile handed you your son, his employees standing behind him. “I have to go take care of something. Take him out to go get some frozen yogurt and get yourself something nice, love.”

He placed a kiss on your head and your sons, walking out of the room with that evil, but sexy look on his face that made you swoon.

“Momma?” You set your son down and grabbed his hand. “Where’s daddy going?”

You just smiled and rubbed the top of his jet black hair. “He's going to work dear.”

“What does daddy do for work?”

You grabbed the keys off of the wall and smirked. “Daddy takes care of business, buddy.”

You kissed him on the forehead and took him out for frozen yogurt while Crocodile did just that.

Take care of business.

[omorinintendoswitchedition]

2, 3, 7, 8, 9, 10, 12, 14, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, and 26 (My question is just say something about them you want to say)

For whichever character/characters your want

woweee this is gonna be a looooong post

2-Favourite thing about this character

Doing this for Dante. The Dr Faust cutscene, or to be more broad I love his silly attitude and his stupid jokes. Made this series iconic and funny and gives him a personality.

3-Least favourite thing about this character

For Dante this would probably be the ‘if you were 18 i would date you’ joke from the first episode of the anime. This really rubbed me the wrong way and its kinda weird to say that to a kid you just met???and ooc for him???

7-Whats something the fandom does when it comes to this character you like?

Actually give the girl characters time to shine instead of just making them sexy eye candy. And the silly family dynamics between the Sparda boys.

8-Whats something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

the fucking Vergil dodges child support and is a ‘sigma based alpha male’ homophobe. i hate it so muchhh even though the meme is dead it still annoys me so much when i see people still think its funny.

9-Could you be roommates with this character?

I probably could be roomies with people like Dante and Nero and Kyrie. Id probably get a little annoyed at Dante for constantly being in debt and gambling but we could survive. Do not think I could be roommates with Vergil. that man does not know how the oven works.

10-Would you date this character?

fuck yeah I would date Dante.

12-What's a headcanon you have for this character?

Nico is the kind of person who drenches everything in ranch. She buys the ranch ice cream a lot and it makes Nero loose his shit every single time. She drowns her chips in ranch and Nero looks at her from across the table like shes murdered someone

14-Assign a fashion aesthetic to this character.

Hrngh fuck im not a fashion person. Do kinda see Trish getting into gothic fashion tho.

20-Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn't matter?

Nero and Nico are the perfect best friends duo. Always got each others backs, always making fun of each other lightheartedly. I want more of them sooo badly you have no idea.

21-If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?

its been decades since I have last written anything in general. But I do remember Dante’s dialogue being fun to write for me and I dont like everything else because im constantly worrying if something is ooc

22-If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to this character? Something you don't like?

Its been decades since ive read any dmc fic either (get caught up in other things) but as mentioned earlier do love those family dynamics and the attempts to fix everything. Dont like when Vergil os portrayed as ice cold after dmc5.

23-Favorite picture of this character?

FUCK THIS IS SO HARD. I do love the capcom cafe art with dante and his tits out. the teppen card art is also pretty cool.

24- What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them?

So considering the only other fandom I am in is about depressed teenagers trying to overcome their trauma its safe to say none. I guess Kel somewhat for Dante? Only cause theyre silly and have older brothers who like blue.

25-What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

When I first saw V back when I knew absolutely nothing about dmc, I thought he was edgy and didnt really like him (the video used the ‘what evil lurks I must destroy’ clip out of context). But now that I have played and beaten the series I must say V my poor guy hes an absolute menace.

26-FREEBIE QUESTION!!

no idea what this means!!!!!so im just gonna make up a question!!!!

26-Would you work for this character?

ABSOLUTELY NOT DANTE HAS NO BREAD!!!! and the job is like. insanely dangerous and im just an internet guy.

[david-powers-simp]

What the lost boys would be like as fathers

What's good, my homies. This idea came to me and I knew I just had to write it so enjoy my peeps. I didn't proofread this either, so my apologies for any mistakes.

Also besties really quick before we get into the headcancons. I just want to thank all of you guys so much for all the likes and reblogs you've been giving me and all the sweet comments on my writing it means so much, so thank you guys 😭💖🩷

Now, I think it would be pretty interesting how the boys acquire their kids. I think it's possible the boys could get a human pregnant. But i also think the boys might would wait until their partner was a vampire before having kids. However, I have no clue how the child would grow. Would they grow normally? Would they grow rapidly? There are so many unanswered questions. So, for the sake of this fic, I am just going to say that the boys have children that grow at a relatively normal pace. Maybe a little faster than humans. But not drastically.

Marko

This man. This man right here would be such a fun dad. He would take his kids on so many adventures. Like he would go to the boardwalk and make it his mission to take his kids on every single ride so that they could have the absolute most fun possible he would also buy ~steal~ his kids anything they wanted. His little hell raiser happiness is a top priority. Yes, marko calls his kids his " little hell raiser." And yes, I've been saying kids plural because I feel marko would have more than just one little munchkin he'd have at least 3 kids. Now, I don't think he would have all his kids close together. There would definitely be a few years age gap in between. I think marko is a very fun dad and not very stern. Don't get me wrong, marko can be stern in certain situations. Like if one of his kids could've gotten serious hurt/did get serious hurt. Marko then would have to be a little stern and tell them that what they did was dangerous and not something they should be doing or should even do again. However if his kids started to cry because of his stern words hurting their feelings he'd immediately go into soft dad marko and apologized for making them upset and that he was only stern because he was scared and worried than probably offer to take his little bundle of joy out for ice cream. Also, an important note is that the age I see marko having kids between the ages of 3 - 5. So he would have a ball with all the stuff he'd get into with his babies. Piggyback rides are a must. Marko carries his kids almost everywhere. Even when him and the boys are going out, he even installs a little seat onto his motorcycle so his kid will have a place to sit and not fall off. Now, if marko had more than one little one at a time, he would have one of the other boys ~most likely dwayne~ hold onto his other munchkin.

Paul

Sweet Paul. He would be baby crazy. I see Paul having one, maybe two kids. Paul would be the dad that says yes to anything and everything. He'd be the fun dad but with no limits. That's where he's different from marko, marko also is the fun dad, but marko has boundaries. Paul, not so much. Don't get me wrong, Paul loves his babies so much, but the way Paul sees it, if they aren't going to die doing it, let them have fun. I do see Paul as a boy dad. Maybe even a boy and a girl. I think he would find his kids absolutely killer outfits for them to wear too so if he has a son hed def find and outfit for his son to match him and for his daughter he would also match her but this time hed probably put a bow in his own hair to match her. Bro, imagine how sweet paul would look with like a punk bow in his hair to match his daughter im crying. He would definitely be a cuddly dad. I can see him playing with his bundles of joy for hours before settling in for a cuddle pile with them. I think the age range for Paul's kids would be 7 - 9, so close to laddies' age. Paul definitely would show his kids his music so they can rock out together. Cartoons are a must for Paul. One day, he brought home a portable TV for the kids since the cave doesn't have electricity or power outlets, for that matter. And even since then, paul and his kiddos would be obsessed with cartoons. Everyone's favorite is definitely care bears. Paul may or may not have gotten obsessed with care bears, and he may or may not have a growing collection of stuffed care bears he's got for his kids. I could also see Paul as like a pop tart dad. He'd let his kids eat sugar if they wanted even for breakfast. Now, don't get me wrong, he'd make sure they eat healthy sometimes, but mostly, they could have whatever they wanted. Paul will 100% draw and color with his kids too. He'd spend hours with them, making different master pieces of artwork.

Dwayne

Ah, daddy dwayne. Look, dwayne is prepared to be a dad. He was born ready. I think being a parent comes so naturally to dwayne. Like the instant dwayne sees his child. boom. He's in dad mode and just knows exactly what to do. Like I'm talking, he knows when the baby is crying a certain way, dwayne knows exactly what his baby wants. I think dwayne's kids would be newborn - one year old idk I just think dwayne loves babies. He adores kids as well. But come on, I don't think any of us would complain about seeing dwayne be all soft and sweet for his little baby. Dwayne would probably have like 5 kids, so good luck. What can I say? Our man loves kids and loves sex so win win on his part. And I know im not the only one that thinks dwayne would be a girl dad. Hed make and amazing girl dad. He would cradle them so gently when they're little, but once they've gotten bigger, hed treat his daughters like absolute princesses. Hed pick them flowers, braid their hair, read to them, paint their nails. I believe in my soul that dwayne would take a scarf and wrap his kids to his chest when he's busy. This includes when he's riding his motorcycle, walking around the boardwalk just anytime, really when he needs both his hands, but his baby wants to be held. I think dwayne would be a pretty relaxed dad but very cautious. Hed make sure to keep a close eye on his kiddos so that'd they don't get hurt. He has lightning fast reflexes, too. He'd be able to see an accident waiting to happen miles away so you can be rest assured that the kids would always be in good hands with dwayne. He would be very responsible with his kids, making sure they are always safe, happy, and healthy.

David

Believe it or not, I think david really wants kids. I just think it would take a little time for him to admit it. David would be a sweet dad, just very worried and stressed, I think, at first. I see david having either one kid or four. There is no in between. He would thrive with kids ages one to two. Because for david those ages are the best because they can sit up, crawl, maybe even walk. Plus, the cute baby babbles. David would love that part. He'd definitely be over the moon his his baby started calling him "dada." He would love milestone. He'd love watching his sweet little one grow and succeed at things. I think david would either have a son or three boys and one girl. Now, with that being said. David would be very, very protective over his kids. Not a soul could speak a bad word about his precious angels, and if so, they'd end up being dead in a ditch somewhere. Simple as that. David would be stern but not overly stern. Like david would correct his kids but in a soft way. Like if his baby was trying to chew on his earring. Instead of getting frustrated or scolding his baby. David would simply pull out an antique silver teething ring he had on a chain underneath his shirt. And he would simply give it to his baby. I think david would also consistently carry his baby everywhere. Even if his little one can walk, he'd prefer to carry his baby so he knows that his son or daughter is safe. David would always be extremely alert when out with his bundle of joy. I think it would definitely take david a while before he let any of the boys watch his baby bat. Even though david does trust the boys, he believes his his baby is safest with him.

[royalwriteroftheuniverse]

Summer wedding: Thanksgiving before the separation drabble

Ok it got a bit long. Kissing implied doing more than just kissing. Only 2 sentences. Nightmares.

Comments welcome and reblogs. No publishing translating or posting

Ari come here and help me pick out a Turkey.

He goes to grt the biggest.

"What are you doing?"

"What its a turkey? Go big or go home."

"How about go big and have to wake up at 3 am to cook it."

"Oh," he thought for a second "but I want to give you and Maya the best Thanksgiving ever so that's fine."

"Ari and what are we going to do with the leftovers? "

"Who said anything about leftovers?" he was rubbing his stomach. 

"Fine but when you're bloated and gassy don't come to me complaining. "

I still grabbed him some Tums and gas-x and some kid medicine for Maya just incase. 

"Ok" I said as Ari wrapped his hands around my shoulders,

"We got Turkey, stuffing, pie cranberry sauce and real cranberries, corn muffin mix, we can just buy them you know."

"No I am making it."

Thank god I didn't tell Ari about making your own stuffing then we'd probably never eat. And I was also smart enough to tell him cranberry sauce is just mushed cranberries and sugar and that half the fun is how it comes out in the shape of a can  "Gravy don't its my favorite gravy you can make yours too from whatever but just in case, biscuits, butter and  We just need ice cream and cookie dough."

"Ice cream and cookie dough?"

"Yea me and Maya need to eat something before you finish cooking. 

Maya flew in the night before Thanksgiving and she was so excited to experience a "real American Thanksgiving." It was practically impossible to get her to bed. But after three stories and if your father doesn't get to sleep now so he can wake up, well never eat explication she closed her eyes.

I layed back in bed tired I thought Ari was too but he has this smile.

"What are you so happy about?" I turned on my side to face him. 

"I've got everyone I love under one roof.  You're happy,  Maya's happy. What else could a man want?"

Ari was happy. He wasn't sure how he ever found love again but he did and it was even stronger. He was happy just holding her pinkie. There was something about her smile that just made him feel fulfilled, whole. And holding her was heaven all the nightmare about bullets and prisons, holding her just eased it all away into oblivion. 

He gave her a kiss, "you tired?" 

"Yes" she giggled and rolled her eyes. "Your daughter is right down the hall and you have to get up early did yiu set the alarm.

"Yes" he rolled his eyes 

"Don't. I want to eat before 9pm and trust me that's happened. And you know I get hangry." 

Ari turned on his side with a smirk.but really her hangery… she should join mossad though, things would get done faster.

"What are you doing?" 

"Going to sleep like you asked" he sighed.

"Two can play that game" she thought. 

"You always hold me." She said with a whimper and sniffle.

He turned over with an immediate "babe come here im sorry."

"He was too easy," she thought h. But it's true he'd walk over hot coals for her without a thought. He pulled her in close and gave her another kiss.

"You knew I was only teasing baby right?"

"Well I was hoping."

He was just studying her face for a moment or two swiping his thumb across her cheek before wrapping his arm around her waist. 

"What?" She asked with a bit of a smile.

"You're so beautiful. I love you so much you know that right?" He was sincere and she was blushing.

"Ari where is this coming from?"

"I just feel so happy, blessed to have my , my family under one roof. I'm just-"

There was a knock on the door 

"Glad we just kissed aren't 'cha." He rolled his eyes but she was right. 

"You can come in sweetheart."

"Abba I had a nightmare. A giant turkey was chasing me."

"Oh no!  Well I can promise you there are no turkeys around here.  Minus your father. He's a big 'ol turkey."

"I thought we were having turkey tomorrow."

"We are but its all ready to be cooked ok no turkeys are alive in the state."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

Ari watched the scene gaining from ear to ear as he played with his girlfriends hair. She being used to it didn't pay any attention but this family scene made him happy. So happy.  Maya felt comfortable seeing comfort in his girlfriend not just with him. 

"You want someone to tuck you back in?"

"No I'm ok as long as you promise no yurkey."

"No turkeys."

"Goodnight Maya 

"Goodni-" was all Ari could get out before Maya closed the door. 

"Well I'm insulted."

"She likes me better"

Ari smirked as she stuck her tongue out. 

"Not too fond of your attitude"

"Oh yea you gunna fix it?"

"No I've got a turkey to cook. I need my sleep." He crossed his arms

"What hey I thought we were cuddling."

"Sorry babe come here." He opened his arms and she rushed close to his heart. She loved hearing his heart beat.  It was slow and soothing. And Ari couldn't sleep without her warmth the way her lips just brush against the base of his neckline at time or how her hand had seemed to lay claim to his body as he would never move it once she had fallen asleep. Holding her was something he  could never give up. He watched for sleep for a while and then pulled her closer.

"Ari go to sleep" she sounded a bit drunk but she always did she when she said this in the middle of the night. Somehow she always knew when his mind needed to be told to rest. So he kissed her forehead.

"Yes my love" she smiled and with that he went to sleep. And he'd need it because the next day he really regretted buying the biggest turkey. 

Tag list

@patzammit @nana1000night @sapphire-rogers @sparklybarbarianninja @hawkeyes-queen

[star-vibing-prompts]

Random shit I had or others had said as prompts.

Warnings: Swearing, Mentions of sus, dark humor(probably), dark themes(also probably), Sensitive topics

----------------------------

"Motherfucker is high on cat nip at the top."

"Imma just kick this fish then-"

"Let me sleep with you!"

"STOP CREAMING YOURSELF"

"Let me throw your child!"

"I smacked a bad guy's booty."

"That was a good ass slap!"

"Give me all these delicious batteries!"

"Everybody died in this family!"

"I JUST SHOT HER BODY WITH MY GUN-"

"I DIDNT EVEN KNOW I HAD BALLS STILL!"

"I got stuff on my neck!"

"Be honest, am I hot?" "I'M GAY-"

"IMMA WHIP OUT MY BEANS ESSAY"

"Not the duckussy"

"Already sus gonna hide in the ooc"

"Okay I got my happiness, bye"

"I like me some Among Us"

"Can someone hold me please"

"[Name] stop searching. I wanna search something up to on him!"

"IS HE WRITING A FANFIC OML"

"I KNOW BUT WHEN I LAUGH I SOMEHOW CHOKE ACK-"

"You're more grosser than I am."

"Ohh~ Hee got the rizz~"

"OKAY BACK TO CRYING"

"I love dying screaming"

"IM CRYING WHAT DID WE JUST WALK IN ON???"

"I will slap myself if I say something sus"

"Let her scream lmao."

"Being force to talk by a 14 year old"

"Such a beautiful break up"

"STOP RIZZING ME"

"Anyway does anyone want to get slap by me?"

"Damn she hot"

"THE FUCK WOMAN???"

"DAMN I AM A LONELY BITCH"

"Actually *SHITTING* himself would be pooping. *PISSING* himself would be peeing."

"Why did you eat mah stick?"

"STOP EATING POOP???? WHOS POOP EVEN IS THAT???"

"I- Wha- ho- ...MY BRAIN CANT HANDLE THISI-"

"I think u just pissed him up even more"

"And why are you creaming [Name]?" "Damn tell me how you really feel about the cream jesus"

"One of them is: What the fuck is going on at this point and why am I still here for it?"

"I just love killing people!"

"I want to fuck Optimus Prime."

"Allergies are kicking me ass"

"I would've given you some but you didn't talk fast enough /j"

"[NAME] PLEASE I BE SILLY"

"I SWEAR ON [NAME] IT AINT ME"

"Why is [Name] robbing [Name2]"

"Enjoy your last peaceful moments"

"You were the chosen one"

"Then speak it"

"And [Name] just set himself on fire"

"I feel like I am being judged now,,,,,bye." *disappears*

"The shame has already been done there is no going back"

"My mom used to buy me robux before she mcfucking died"

"I BROKE MY STICK"

"THEY DONT KNOW WHAT GOES ON BEHIND CLOSED DOORS"

"My gaydar told me"

"What the fuck are smiley fries."

"Rice with beef broth because we have no chicken"

"Anime cat girls are canon within Spongebob now."

"The Cat Has Ingested The Wall"

"Split dat chicken wingg"

"Oeuur... digs chicken wing out of the carpet"

SHRIEKS AND BREAKS IN THROUGH A WINDOW

"They have been bestowed the name [New name]"

"I love the fumbling with the remote"

"Literally vibrating in my chair, I’m really excited for the game"

"That's so sad imagine someone hated you so much they wouldn't even spend more than 5 bucks to hire a hitman"

"Bro's gonna be willing to die after that"

"FLOOFY AND GOOBER"

"I wanna invite them for tea and crumpets

The best type of relationship"

"ILL FORFEIT ALL MY LEGAL POSSESSIONS TO HIM"

"Like damn dude you don't need THAT much eye liner"

"This is so emo"

"My dude needs to look fabulous"

"WHAT A GOOBER ! FOOLISH LITTLE FELLOW"

"OMG ITS MY KID"

"LIL GUY IS SPEEDY ASF"

"They got a little too silly"

"ITTY BITTY"

"They just need to put some ice on it"

"Aww noo they spilled the cranberry juice" :(

[nattyluvs]

CAFE CUTIE - chapter 9

"you tryna go to jay's place and get on the game?" sunghoon spoke from jakes side, as they walked side by side through the school's halls.

"nah, ive got to study for real, ill catch you guys later though" jake replied, trying to suppress the grin coming up his face.

"hey you never study...i guess she really changed you huh?

"what are you talking abou-" jake began to speak but proceeded to quickly quiet down, hitting sunghoon when he saw you approaching. what he didnt expect is that you were going to turn and talk to him after what he did.

"hey jake, were gonna need help in about two weeks, dont plan anything super important during that time" you quickly stopped in the halls to tell him this information, proceeding to leave when he acknowledged your words.

as you kept walking away, your figure become smaller as you were farther away from the boys, they finally continued their cut-short convnersation.

"i didnt know you had rizz like that."

"shut up...of course i do"

jake had to hurry home in order to keep up his "ethan" disguise, and try to get to ur meeting spot before you could possibly suspect anything was up.

he thought of telling you, even the first time you met outside of school, but he couldnt bring himself to. jake knew it was wrong and he would probably end up hurting the both of you in the end, but he decided fo continue his lie, just to live in his delusions a little longer.

"are you not getting bored helping me with this boring subject that is boring" ethan groaned, feeling the pain in his back after sitting for almost two hours.

"look! its not boring unless you make it boring. if you pay attention its actually kind of interesting, you know?"

"listen, ill give you a small quiz on the stuff i just helped you with, and if you do good enough we can go do something else." you suggested, honestly getting uncomfortable for sitting for so long.

"okay, you better not be lying though"

later, the two of you somehow end up at the pizza place nearby, zero intention to buy pizza. what ethan's attention was drawn to was the little arcade area (probably for kids) in the back of the small resteraunt.

"ethan i know i was going to treat you but im not joking when i say i only have five dollars on me right now." you spoke, breaking the silence of him staring in amazement at all of the prizes

"aww its okay...we can just get icecream or something!" ethan suggested, sulking abit at the fact he wouldnt be able to win the lego set he had his eyes on.

you thought for a seccond, "if you really want it, we can come back together again another time?" it almost sounded like you were asking him out on a date when the words slipped out of your mouth.

it wasnt like he was a bad person. he had a pretty nice personality, funny laugh, very good humor and he was pretty cute(?) i mean, you hadnt actually seen his face yet;, but when you see someine with a mask on, you can always tell from the rest of their face what they look like under it.

"its alright, we can come back. ill walk you home since you're going to pay for my ice cream."

"who said i'm paying?"

"what...i thought it was your treat cause i passed my practice test!"

"im kidding ethan...you owe me next time though"

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[m-jelly]

hi jellyy!! if you dont mind can i request chapter 123 in that panel where some clown thinks levi is a kid, and reader was looking around and noticed levi looking HELLA annoyed HAHA, so reader took his hand and ran to buy ice cream together and while reader was ordering they were still holding hands and levi lowkey blushed, and the ice cream seller asked if theyre married AND THEY WERE BOTH A BLUSHING MESS HAHA, so reader took the lead and said nope!! but we are planning to and levi just blushed more, this is so fluffy im gonna cry

feel free to ignore jellyy! dont overwork yourself and we as your jelly fam loves you with all our heart >:)

@kenkopanda-art <3

Pink ice cream

Pairing: Levi x Reader

Genre and tags: Canon world, cute fluff, blushing Levi, established couple.

Concept: You spy Levi having issues with a clown, so you decide to save your boyfriend from embarrassment and take him somewhere for ice cream. While buying the ice cream, the owner mentions something about you being married to Levi. You make a comment about it and Levi adds something as well that gives a hint to the future.

You looked around in awe at the street full of exciting things. You paused a moment before turning to Levi. You gasped when you recognised a very annoyed look on your boyfriend's face as he turned to look at a clown. You knew you needed to help, otherwise, the clown would get a fist to the face.

You ran over to your lover and grabbed his hand. "I need to borrow you for a moment!"

Levi stumbled a little and started walking with you. "Tch, fucking, clowns."

You smiled softly at Levi. "Don't take it to heart, okay? I think you are the perfect height."

He blushed a little. "Thanks. You're perfect too."

You giggled. "So, how about ice cream? I heard people talking about it and it seems rather nice."

He nodded. "Please."

You walked up to the counter and smiled. "Could we have two strawberries please?"

The seller nodded and made two little pots for you and Levi. "Sure thing! You two on your honeymoon?" You both blushed. "Or is this an anniversary?"

You looked over at Levi to see his pink blush. "Ah, no we're not married." You took the ice cream and saw Levi pay. "But we're planning on it!" You grinned when you saw Levi getting more flustered over your words. "Thank you."

Levi handed over your ice cream. "I plan on setting the date for next month."

You gasped. "Huh?"

He put his hand on your lower back and walked with you. "Come on."

You wandered with Levi in a little daze to the docks. You sat down on the wall next to your boyfriend as you stared out at the ocean. You jumped at hearing your name being said right against your ear. You turned your head and blushed at how close Levi was to you. "S-Sorry?"

He tapped your pot. "It's going to melt."

Your cheeks burned. "Oh." You ate some and hummed. "It's good."

Levi hummed. "It has pieces of strawberries in it."

You nodded and ate some more. "So, about what was said."

He shuffled closer to you. "I meant it." He cleared his throat. "Now that I think about it, next month is a bit of a short notice." He reached over and held your hand. "But I would rather like to call your Mrs Ackerman."

You gave his hand a squeeze. "When you make me Mrs Ackerman, I'm going to leave the scouts and setup the teashop we've dreamed of."

He kissed the back of your hand. "So, next month short notice?"

You shook your head. "Not at all. I want to marry you. I want to be Mrs Ackerman. I want to spend the rest of my life with you at my side. Do you want me to be your wife?"

"I want that more than anything in this world."

[plainemmanem]

okay so i see you need steve thoughts and ive seen people say his favorite ice cream flavor is either cookies and creme or cookie dough and i personally think both of those are SO accurate so i guess im asking what your official opinion is? lmao

ok this is a really really good question because i do in fact have an opinion. bc of course i do

i feel like steve is definitely a cookie dough kinda guy. it’s kind of basic, but not as basic as vanilla. it’s a crowd pleaser, never met anyone in my life that outrightly hates cookie dough. sure, some people may not love it, but they will definitely enjoy it.

steve likes cookie dough for a couple of reasons.

1. it’s the only ice cream his mom would get for him when he was little (he would ask her for chocolate or strawberry and she would always come home with cookie dough — without fail — claiming she ‘forgot’ or ‘they had nothing else at the store,’ but steve thinks the reason why she really got it is because it was the easiest one to grab at the store and she really didn’t want to be bothered looking for anything else. he never really was a complainer so he always just had that.)

2. it’s a basic flavor that’s good for everyone. anytime he gets ice cream for the kids, cookie dough is his go-to. he knows everyone likes it, and there isn’t really any allergens in it — at least none he can think of — so he’ll usually get that. if there’s some left over at the end of the night, he’ll eat that, but he’s not picky so he really likes to get something that everyone can enjoy.

now, i do feel that his job at scoops made him a bit of an ice cream “snob.” like you’ll get something from the store and he’ll try it and be like “did they not use real vanilla in this, tastes processed as shit…” and then he’s turning the carton over and reading the ingredients like “ah! ‘imitation vanilla flavoring.’ yeah, we’re not eating that.” so from then on you always force him to pick the ice cream because he knows what to get. when you guys go to the store together he’s always picking out certain brands like “ok you see this? you see this here? never get turkey hill, they’re the worst. they use the worst quality ingredients and they’re so expensive- just, ok just please promise me you’ll never buy anything with turkey hill on it…” HES SUCH A DORK-

[life-with-a-4yearold]

my first post!

So I decided I would start blogging, but didn’t know where to start. Why I decided was because my life is hectic, chaotic, funny and down right stressful. I have a 4 year old child a 2.5 year old german shepherd and a partner we have a 3 bed ex council house and live in a lovely little village. All seems great ? well no… we may sound like your typical family but we have a lot of baggage our life isn’t perfect in fact far from perfect. We have our arguments we have days where we laugh non stop, there are days when all I want to do is cry and forget the world. Times are tough when you have a 4 year old who doesn’t want to listen and is so head strong that you feel like breaking down but yet shes the most caring child and loves us and her dog more then anything, like we love her. So I decided i would write about it to let people no they are not alone. I’ll tell you something, its not easy having children I only have one and find that hard. Starting from the beginning. Pregnancy was terrible, heartburn, sickness, aches and pains. I found out I just was pregnant November 2018. I had her on June 18th 2019. She starts school this year. What 4 years its been, we have moved 3 times. Our first dog died he got run over. We then got another dog his an arsehole we got him when my daughter was 1 and he was 9 weeks old. Now that was a mistake! Having a 9 week old puppy and 1 year old just walking. Now shes 4 and his nearly 3 they have both become best friends and wont leave each others side, typical german shepherd behaviour.

Days turn in to weeks in this house, I do anything for a simple life. Cant be arsed to put the washing away I wont, don’t feel like hoovering today I wont. I do everything and its ok to have a day off every now and then, we have a take away on a Saturday night so I don’t have to cook 7 times out of 10 we will have one then too. I HATE having to cook when I don’t want to. The theought of having to think of what to cook for dinner drives me crazy! And no one eats the same thing EVER roast dinner I im the only one who eats veg. my daughter will eat carrots peas and broccoli my partner don’t eat fuck all. Im fed up of doing different dinners, no what I think the dog actually eats more then what we do. No point in me even buying dog food he eats everything they leave which is pretty much the whole plate! End up doing cheesy pasta!! Fucking cheesy pasta.

Days out? Yeah all sound great until you get a screaming 4 year old because they want an ice cream which costs about £8? Since when did 99’s cost so much ? no wonder no one wants to go out anymore, we went to the zoo just to get in cost £109.98! for the FUCKING zoo!! As we was walking round you get them people that just decide to stop in the middle of the path and get in everyones fucking way and DON’T move. Finally get passed mumbling fucking idiots under your breath. Still while youre kids screaming because you’ve refused to pay £8 for a 99. Sweating because its 1000 degrees. Thinking what the fuck was I thinking. To make things worse walk past the gorillas and they are only having abit and now got to explain to a 4 year old that they are just playing, and that’s what they do. Had to buy the £8 ice cream to get her to move away from them. So not only are we sweating skint and now traumatized, we have a 4 year old that’s witnessed 2 gorllias going at it. Well that’s the only thing she did see as no other bastard animal was out!! Now were all hungry thirsty and fed up… find a nice little food shack got 2 burgers and a hot dog and shared some chips…. £36.00 sorry what ? for 2 burgers a hot dog and one portion of chips ? didn’t even get the drinks because my idiot partner forgot them!! Well glad he did would have had to taken out a second mortgage! Fucking livid at this point, in the end we walked round rest may have seen a zebra could have been a rhino, I was so hot and thirsty I don’t know what I was seeing. Gift shop on the way out why??? The DRAMA we had when we said she couldn’t have anything because it was to expensive. Dragging her out by her feet, while shes screaming she wants a monkey. LAST thing I wanted to see. FINALLY we gave in got her it and then finally got back to the car, shes strapped in and me and my partner look at each other with the look of defeat and just sigh. Drove home in silence the whole way. TRAUMATIZED by the experience. Bitch bag is in the bag seat flat out asleep clenching her new £18.00 toy that is about the size of a small banana. Excuse the pun. Ive never looked forward to getting home so much in my life. We ended up all having a bath put fresh pjs on I opened and drank 2 bottles of wine while crying lol. Ordered a kebab watched the rest of Paw patrol the movie and off we went to bed. Day over all to be done again in a couple weeks time.

To Be Continued….. one very tired and stressed mum.