#my memory is shit so i'm a horrible example

[twicethetrouble]

ANOTHER ROTTMNT AU that I probably won't write

Turtles are Lou Jitsu/Big Mama's kids before turtle mutation

- b/c why the hell not

 (Everything under the cut b/c apparently this is a long one)

start

- Basically Big Mama decides she'd rather have Lou join the battle nexus willingly than as a captive. (She likes the thing they have going on and would rather it not end anytime soon.)

- she introduced him to the Battle Nexus.

- After the shock wares off, he's fascinated by it. (The movies were great but he was getting bored.)

- Lou joins the Battle Nexus willingly and the two stay in a relationship (not married, just together.) (Some talk about how he's her pet champion but those that talk too loud end up disappearing.)

- As a result of their continued relationship, they end up having kids. 4 boys (the middle 2 being twins, of course)

(I can't decide if they have the same names or not so we'll skip that for now.)

- Now, a quick note for this AU. Part of the reason Yokai stopped interacting with humans was b/c whenever a hybrid was produced, they tended to be more human than Yokai. (Even more if a cloaking broach is involved. It throws in extra genetic variables so the offspring can end up inheriting traits from that as well.)

- The boys are no exception. They look human except for a few... oddities.

- Raph has the fluffy mint colored hair and red eyes of Big Mama's spider form. (Not fully red eyes.) He's also exceptionally strong, having once thrown a temper tantrum that resulted in throwing his entire crib across the room. He also likes to pick up his brothers and bodily carry them for no reason. Much to his parents panic upon finding the baby just missing.

- Leo is the oldest twin (by 2 minutes). He and Donny look the most human (with Lou's black hair and dark eyes) the only odditys being from the lavender purple spots on their skin they got from Big Mama's human form (think Leo's marks except more organic looking). (Tho they seemed to both start developing extra, spider like limbs by the time they're 1). Leo likes to follow around Big Mama whenever he can, often sitting on her lap during meeting and trying to mimic her facial expressions.

- Donny is the youngest twin. Again, mostly human looking. His purple spots are different then Leo (again his turtle markings but different, tho he does also have one over his right eye as well.) He is very frustrated about not having extra limbs like Big Mama. He is constantly wearing a spider themed backpack with little bouncy spider limbs as a result and will scream whenever it's removed.

- Mikey is the baby (obviously). He has Big Mama's human form hair and eyes, tho if u lift up his hair and there's 4 spider eyes on his forehead that he hasn't figured out how to open yet.

mutation day

- On mutation day, Raph is 2, the twins are a little over 1, and Mikey is 3 months.

- Draxum sends his gargoyles to grab Lou like originally planned.

- Huggins and Muggins arrive at the room, finding only the 4 boys asleep in their beds (Lou is currently arguing with Big Mama in another room about wanting to stop fighting for the boy’s sake.)

- Huggins and Muggins thinks one of the boys is Lou so, not knowing which it would be, grab all four.

- Draxum sees the four and realizes they’re Lou’s kids (but he’s not paying attention to gossip so he doesn’t realize they’re half yokai) and decides starting with a young human base might be more beneficial than an animal base.

- He has them each interact with the turtles he was going to mutate before mutating the children instead.

- Lou shows up just in time to see his boys mutated into turtles.

- Draxum is woefully unprepared for the fury Lou fights him with. He destroys the lab and steals his sons back, getting covered in mutagen as he does.

- He’s back in the NYC before he realizes that his boys are alright, just turtles, and that he’s now mutated into a rat-man.

- (Also that the mutation has overrode their yokai dna so they no longer have those traits)

- He can’t go back to Big Mama like this. He certainly can’t fight in the Nexus like this and she made it exceptionally clear that’s the only reason why she keeps him around (a lie but he doesn’t realize that)

- so he stays in the human world, eventually finding a decent place to hide in the sewers and raises his sons alone.

- he doesn’t talk about before they were mutated, keeping the only human(ish) picture he has of them hidden deep in the do-not-touch cabinet.

- If they assume they’ve always been turtles then, well, he doesn’t correct them. It was probably for the best anyways.

post mutation

-The boys were so young, they don’t really remember a before.

-Mikey definitely doesn’t.

- Leo doesn’t really either. His only memory being sitting on someone’s lap as they sat behind a big desk and made faces at weird men, but he assumes it’s just an old dream he can’t quite shake.

- Donny knows there was..something. He knows they used to look different (but not exactly how) and has a foggy memory of being caught pulling apart a new toy and a women praising him for being so smart. (he still is very much frustrated by lack of extra limbs, hence his spider limb battle shell, which was probably the first non-standard battle shell he designed.)

- Raph, without a doubt, remembers the most. He remembers they had a mom and how pops looked different back then. He remembers being chased by an owl man after escaping his  watch. But he also remembers how mutation day felt, and is forever grateful his brothers do not.

Series

- series doesn’t really change much

- Big Mama never knew her boys got mutated (instead thinking Lou had taken them and left after their fight) so 13 years later, when 4 turtle mutants start causing trouble for her, she is exceptionally confused as to why she immediately thinks of her lost boys.

A strong one in red, carrying his brothers without thought

A clever one in blue, who seems to see right through her tricks like his mind works just like hers.

A smart purple one with fake spider limbs.

And an smiling orange one who trust his brothers without fault.

- She tries to keep them at the hotel to figure out why, but Blue is too clever for that.

- It’s not until she meets Lou/Splinter again does she put the puzzle pieces together.

- She doesn’t quite believe it until Blue cons her in her own game.

-after that, i’m not sure what would happen. maybe she would sit back and watch them from afar? Maybe she would continue her plans for a weird “they’re my kids, i know they can handle the challenge” sort of way? Either way she knows now. And she’s not going to be able to pretend that she doesn’t.

[the-alarm-system]

Anti Endos and Projection of Decisions and Hurt

I'd like to start this off with my story and how it relates to the experiences of many hurt anti-endos.

I don't remember a big chunk of my original trauma, most of it feels like a dream that has chunks guarded by Red our protector. I do have bits and pieces, and I know for a fact that I went through RAMCOA.

Growing up I got hurt by a lot of women, and one of those woman's personas got introjected into my system and would retraumatize me consistently for a few years. This was before I realized I was plural.

What Im trying to say is I have survived a lot of horrible shit, and I know it's why I'm plural, and I have had horribly abusive headmates before.

Anti Endos bring these forms of exo and internal abuse up whenever attacking the slogan "The future is plural". I saw an anti endo say

---

----

And I got angry enough to make this. Maybe it was rage bait, but I'm convinced most of them genuinely believe this.

Using your own trauma and hurt to invalidate the existence of others is one of the most vile horrible things you can do. Not every traumagenic system is formed from programming, not every system existing is formed from programming. Trust me I know the pain of being hurt that way, but are you serious? Don't use your trauma to hurt others. No endo wants to fucking program a child and abuse them, this is just a false analogy used to bring fear to others and towards the movement. We are not the enemy.

-----

---

I have experienced strong negatives, I've felt strong dissociation, memory loss, and Scald has gotten lost before and we do struggle a lot in disordered experiences. But this is expecting that every system puts the negatives above the positives. This is expecting that your experience and perspective of your own system lines up with everyone elses. I don't care that I have so much to deal with, being a system makes me extremely happy and I would love to share that with others. Obvious negatives? Yes, but "few" positives? In my experience with DID, psychosis, and even BPD I do my best to see the lighter side of them because I wouldn't be me without them. I have so many more pros than cons that comes with being a system because I actively changed my perspective in order to accept ourselves. I had to see the joy of it because I was abusing Scald by not accepting him and giving him individuality. I understand a system seeing their DID as more negative than positive, but this is projection to others which is simply narrow minded.

Before going deeper, I want to affirm that I have no hatred towards those who go towards final fusion or uses parts language. This is an argument about those who project their end goals and hurt and suffering onto other systems in order to invalidate them.

While I may not experience this towards my own system, I can understand why others may despise being many and/or desire to end as a singlet. However in the argument against endos; being broken, wanting fusion, using parts language, and hating yourself as a system is bought up multiple times. Here are some examples:

----

---

Their views on their systemhood, while valid, is narrowed to the expectation that every other system should see it that way and if they don't they are put into the pile of fakes and subject to harassment. Anti endos have called me disgusting simply for expressing how happy being a system makes me. It reminds me of when I was a transmedicalist(essay for later) to be honest.

If you don't want to fuse, if you don't see your systems existence as an abomination, and you desire better acceptance from the world

You are a fucked up groomer who is anti recovery, never wants to heal, and wants to abuse children.

I'm sorry I love my system

I'm sorry I found so much joy in my system that I would love for there to be more of us and better acceptance of us

I'm sorry that I'm not all pessimistic on my system

To be honest, I can't change the past I went through, I can't delete my system,

But maybe to me it's ok to see the good that came out of it even if its hard then and hard now

Projecting your perspective of your systemhood onto others though, projecting false analogies based on your own trauma, and expecting every experience to be the same as yours is vile and just self victimizing in order to hurt vulnerable systems looking for community.

Giving your sob story, ranting about how you hate your pieces/headmates, and then tying it up with "and thats why endos want to hurt children" is a different level of fucked up

small personal note: if I had to endure everything again just to be with Scald, I would Over and over and over Piss yourself mad about it antis, I love my system and we aren't faking because of it

[symbioticsimplicity]

Tumblr, I have like...the weirdest question to ask you all. And I don't exactly know how to phrase it.

What...no, I think where exists the sexual being threshold for clowns?

See yeah no I don't know how to ask this, let's--

Here, visuals can only help us:

Here we've got these guys. They have all the classical halmarks of being a clown. Colorful face paint, big red nose, off-putting clashing outfit, the works. On most people's Sexy Meter or whatever, they're rating pretty low. Might even hit creepy for some folk.

But then we've got like, I dunno, this fuckin dude:

Definitely still a clown, and creepy as all hell arguably. But. BUT. There are plenty of people who want to fuck him, I know it, I've seen the fan art.

Could be the monsterfuckers I hear you say. You're probably right, but that's not the only flavor of clown I see folks wanting to get freaky with.

I think I've figured out my actual question now, the pictures helped.

How many clown traits can something have and still be sexy? And which ones are they??? And just maybe, what the fuck is it about a handful of clown traits that makes people lose their shit???

So. We have a baseline. Normal ass Bozo lookin headass clowns.

Now, lets shuffle to the far side of this horrible, horrible scale I need to make.

I would be remiss not to mention her for a question like this:

Arguably Harley has the least amount of clown traits while still being associated HEAVILY with clowns. Previous iterations of her have leaned harder into the clown theme, although she's more of a jester but fuck it same circus.

Regardless of her clown genus, Harley is arguably the best example of the Clown Sexiness cross over bullshit I'm talking about. She was also built with the intention of making her sexually appealing and she happens to have the least actual clown traits.

Now is that...related??

Recently I've been watching a lot of Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss (which is probably what triggered this whole clown sexualization crisis nonsense). There are a LOT of characters in that series who resemble clowns heavily and are also still considered to be sexy.

On the lower end of the clown scale we have:

The Morningstars. Both Charlie and Lucifer’s faces resemble clown makeup strongly enough to immediately make one think of clowns. Lucifer is dressed like a fucking ringmaster and both of them are very silly MOST of the time. They're both considered attractive.

But then you've got these bitches:

They are VERY clown. Pretty sure they're based on clownfish even. They SING about being clowns.

Still hot!

But Symbi, I hear you groan, they're traditionally attractive women, of course people think they're hot. That's why. It overides the clown. That's it.

EXPLAIN. HIM.

This fucking dude is AGGRESSIVELY clown. He probably has the highest quotient of clown traits of the regular Helluva Boss cast. He's a weird little gremlin and I KNOW people want to fuck him real bad.

Is it because they've minimized the obtrusiveness of the clown? Moved away from the traditional and into stylization and thus transcended the barriers of clown? Is it cause they're all skinny and white?

I'd probably pack it up there with that as an explanation if I hadn't had to sit through THIS FUCKING DUDE taking over my dash for weeks:

I don't know a goddamn thing about One Piece but I know everyone was so fucking horny about this clown for...just a long ass while.

Now HE has even more prominent clown traits than anyone since Pennywise tbh. He's serving classic clown cunt like he's the last circus in Clown Town. Surely he should have been in the same camp as the baseline guys.

And yet. AND YET my very vivid memory of the fever dream that was watching a chunk of the internet simp for him tells me that's not the case.

So. Where the FUCK is the line?? Where do we stop wanting to fuck clowns? Why do we START wanting to fuck clowns?? Where in the god bedamned hell do ICP fall on this... clown fuckery scale. Please don't answer that one.

I don't know the answers to any of it. I just noticed that people find it sexy when people do the big lipstick with the points at the corners and that shit looks like stylized clown makeup. Now I'm drowning in clowns and questions.

Help.

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 2/20/2024

i don't usually use these writeups as a memory aid, but this week it's good bc most of last week was a blur of applying to jobs and playing breath of the wild

listening

i have several playlists that are several hours long with a couple different flavors of the really specific kind of instrumental music i need to do mass quantities of data entry. these are now all poisoned by horrible memories of my last two jobs so i'm slowly building new ones. a great candidate is OASIS, off the REDLINE soundtrack. REDLINE (2009, dir. Koike) is an extremely horny anime movie about driving really fast, being true to yourself in spite of corporate overlords, sports betting, and fucking.

i think this was a scene with background club or cafe music? electronica instrumental with a little bit of a groove and a very particular mid-aughts sound. you know when powder coating is extremely matte but also extremely sparkly? spotify.

-

reading

Samantha Cole (previously Vice, co-founder of 404 Media) has a beat that's focused on sex tech, sex work, deplatforming of sex work, and kink community beefs that manages to be both detached and very, very kind. i trust her to write about any kink community in a respectful and fair way, and even when she visibly doesn't understand the appeal of a kink she writes about them in a respectful and fair way. a great example of this is the furry adult baby diaper community being deplatformed by patreon.

but her most recent investigation, "can this shitty vibrator actually give you malware?" is fascinating. any job that can legitimately claim vibrators as a buisness expense and perform a teardown is fascinating to me.

what a tremendous and endlessly fascinating world we live in.

-

watching

there are many movies on tubi that i have like. name recognition of but have never actually seen, so i'm starting to work my way through things that aren't noir or obscure westerns. like Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000, dir. Lee).

the practial effects in this movie are insane. the wirework is insane. wirework insane. this is the dreamiest and most beautiful chase/fight scene i've ever seen and they're zipping around a bamboo forest.

we're going to have to live with this imperfect screenshot ok this laptop is Extremely old. the interior sets often look like theater sets (complimentary). just a stunningly beautiful movie with the sickest action scenes you’ve ever seen. plot a little choppy but forgivable imo. i know this is regarded as one of the finest movies of all time, not just one of the finest martial arts movies of all times, so saying anything feels a little like giving it a dollar store plastic trophy. i liked it and i had fun. watching a critically acclaimed non-american good movie is good for the brain steeped in lackluster american westerns, i think.

-

playing

much like in real life, in breath of the wild i am refusing to do much towards the main quest and am mostly puttering around looking for shit to upgrade my outfits.

unlocked rudania, did not go inside.

what's with this little. sword graveyard??? on the northeastern edge of the caldera??? the only thing on that island is an octorok?? did it kill like eight guys???

finished richard scarey's tarreytown :) including that horrible rich guy who wanted me to kill some guardians for ??? reasons. i am pretty confident about killing hinox (is the plural of hinox, hinox?), wizzrobes, and most lizalfos if i can get the drop on em but i am Not confident about killing actively moving guardians without guardian arrows, which is an expensive way of doing business. due to reliably one-shotting the wizzrobes with revali's bow, i am running into the interesting problem of always having a glut of magical weapons. which leads me to go fuck around the extreme hot and cold areas those magic weapons are good for. and less fucking around the normie areas i actually want to fuck around.

got the good sword at thirteen hearts, i stopped short at twelve hearts gone and the deku tree called me a pussy. i unfontunately did not screenshot that. hey did you know there's a korok on the deku tree's head whose life's purpose seems to be riddles?

:(

and now for quite a lot of horse talk.

dodged like four lynels taking Ganon's horse up the northern edge of the map to get a pic of the leviathan.

caught the white horse, we are such pretty pretty princesses together. i think it's very funny that the gerudo fanciest weapons and hylian royal regalia look so similar. purple and gold eternal.

did you know if you feed your horse an endura carrot you get extra spurs???

i was looking for a 5 star speed horse but after catching and releasing four different solid black horses this is the best one (4 str, 4 speed, 5 stamina) i found. maybe I’ll shoot for a bright chestnut with lots of chrome for my speedy horse, the equine equivalent of a red convertible.

very funky conincidence on the grasslands behind the lord of the mountain's spring. not identical, bc the lead horse doesn't have facial markings, but what are the odds of that huh. i wish grays in this game didn't look so chalky and washed out, i love a gray horse in real life.

i think it's some bullshit that you have to fight your way into this spring, get told "go get a dragon scale", deal with all that, fight your way BACK into the spring, and then be presented with a Major Test of Strength shrine. c'mon just give it to me!!!

game continues to be very bad at spitting out riders next to horses or donkeys EXCEPT!!! for this doctor. i didn't know hyrule had traveling doctors! i quite honestly didn't think they had the techonology, given that the state of medicine in hyrule is very mortar and pestle based!

the game gave me a tooltip like "make friends with dogs! they'll lead you to treasure!" and i was like What but it does actually work, you just have to target them in the camera first and then feed them several hunks of meat. bonkers game. how many other goddamn mechanics are there that i've missed???

next steps: shrine hunting. i have like 50 out of 120 which is wild to me. i played this game two years ago, got to about a hundred shrines, and managed to forget where they all fucking are. yes my shrine sensor is always on. there's probably at least twenty in central hyrule, which is not a place i touched much on my list playthrough, also the last two memories i need are in there. i have filled out a good chunk of the compendium (completely filled the materials pages) but idk if i will be a completionist about it. there are so so so so so many weapons variants. i am cheating a bit and looking up the animals i missed (mostly a lot of bugs and fish) but one of the entries is for patricia, the royal sand seal. i would not have ever thought to take a picture of the named sand seal, i'm sorry game but that's a bit obtuse.

-

making

not much progress on the cross stitch or job fronts, but since i finally have a balcony, i planted peas and beans from @shiny-good-rock and basil from @morrak than have been languishing in a box for several years, the basil had an okay germination rate so my fingers are crossed re: peas and beans.

i am a bit annoyed about marigolds. maybe it's a bit too early for them here, or maybe they're not as popular as they were in the northeast? i tried like five different big box stores and indie nurseries, only one indie nursery had any and they were very pest-ridden. i would like marigolds, as friends for my tomatoes.

it is currently 11:40 PM CST as i type this so tomorrow i'll add something with a garden layout and what varieties i planted.

[saltygilmores]

Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls: Season 2, Episode 21, Lorelai's Graduation Day, Part 6

I may be something of a rank amateur as far as how many times I've watched Gilmore Girls (2 times through seasons 1-7, currently in the middle of my 2nd run of seasons 1-4 only) while some people have seen it dozens of times (how do you do it, I'm in awe of you, I love this show but it drains my life force). I may be a walking encylopedia of stupid knowledge about Luke and Jess (like how Luke actually serves Folgers coffee and Apartment Jess in season 4 has a Recycling On Tuesday sticky note on his fridge) but I've had to look up basic-bitch things about Rory and Lorelai like why there is so much bootleg merchandise that says "Copper Boom". My point is that with every viewing, I learn a lot. Right now I'm learning that my memory is a shady bitch. She's been tricking me into thinking many of the episodes I remembered as hunky dory "Comfort episodes" from beginning to end were not. The reality is this: the beginning of many episodes are innocent enough, the "favorite/comfort" is actually just some small portion in the middle, and the last 10-15 minutes are a shit tornado of epic proportions and almost without exception due to Lorelai and/or Dean’s fuckery (example: There's the Rub). MY POINT IS, I do have a vague memory of how this episode ends and I anticipate that while it won't be the worst Last 15 Minutes Shit Tornado I'm hoping it won't wash the sweet sweet taste of Literati StepCousin Wiener Tasting In The City out of my mouth right quick. EDIT after finishing the episode: It was not rage-inducing at all. It was fine. Lorelai barely even talked because Rory wouldn't let her get a word in edgewise. It was just ridiculous and went on too long. Read more at the end of the post. Due to it's lack of fuckery, one minute each of Dean and Christopher, and Lorelai's lack of interference, StepCousins In The City can hold it's trophy aloft and retain its standing as my favorite Gilmore Girls episode of all time.

That was pointless and disgusting and it goes on through the entire graduation. And yeah, that's the dude who voices all the characters on Family Guy, Seth MacFarlane. Pretty much just playing one of his characters. With his Brian Griffin voice which is really just his normal voice. Charming. Did you know Family Guy was one the first shows to be revived after it was canceled due to overwhelming demand from fans? The Network was like "if it'll shut ya'll up we'll bring the damn thing back." I was a biiiiiig Family Guy fan in the early 2000's, spent countless hours on FG message boards and added my momentum to the campaign. The network listened. They bought it back. It was horrible. I never watched it again. AHEM.

Thanks a lot, Family Guy. And I’m sorry that I took part in the first successful revival campaign for a canceled tv show. I could not know the domino effect it would have. Alright, my memory is failing me again. I cannot for the life of me recall how Rory ends up missing Lorelai's graduation. I don't think she got on the wrong bus (Jess would never let her). Does the bus break down? Oh, how I love playing Memory Roulette.

So there's one single road leading out of New York City into all surrounding states, and a single accident will prevent “all” busses from leaving the state? Thousands of people are being held hostage over one car crash? That won’t be pretty. I feel like her best option would be to take the train. A taxi would be too expensive, but Jess knows how to drive, so maybe Liz has a car. Steal her car. I just feel like there are alternatives than being held hostage in a stinky bus. Back at the graduation, Family Guy and his girlfriend continue yelling at each other to shut up and die and then they bully Lorelai for having wealthy parents. This is community college. I am an alumni of a county college myself. Many classes would be half empty by the end of the semester as people constantly dropped out (especially night classes). There were some bumps in the road so it took me 3 years to get my 2 year Associates degree, and I was proud of myself for finishing. I didn't pursue any more education after that; but the graduation ceremony was small because most people were transferring to a four year school and they didn't see the point, I guess, of bothering with a graduation ceremony halfway into their college career. Nobody lived at school so your personal connections to your classmates were loose at best. My point is no college adult would ever give a damn about some total stranger's parents to the point they're going to openly bully them AND their friends. I just wanted to graduate and be done with school forever. We’re adults, we all wanna go home. Family Guy is picking on Sookie and Jackson for their "expensive" clothes now. Joke's on you Family Guy, Lorelai runs the Independence Inn where all three of them are employed and she pays them both in beans.

This is what I say any time someone compliments my outfit. Lorelai's face is priceless.

Sometimes this show makes me feel old. This time, I feel young. Because I'm nearly 40, and still too young to know squat about pagers. I grew up in the same Gilmore Girls timeline where certain people (but not everyone) had primitive cellphones, but I don't remember anyone with a pager. I wasn't aware that pagers could get any sort of texts that communicated "I'm running late." . So I had to jump down another GoogleHole . The answer is yes, they were capable of sending and recieving alphanumeric messages, and since the mid 90's, to boot.

Ahhh, love to see her amongst the commoners.

She misses her cousin, okay? You don't have to remind her. Please do not talk to unaccompanied teenage girls on public transportation and tell them to smile, you pervert. He informs Rory that she got on a Local bus, which is why it's taking so long and making a lot of stops, while the bus she took into the city was an Express that doesn't make stops. Okay, you know what, I actually blame Jess for this. I literally just said "Jess would never let Rory get on the wrong bus." And what did he do? Screwed his cousin. Figuratively. It's not the wrong route, but given that he's aware she needed to be home on time to see Lorelai’s graduation, how important it was to Rory, and with him knowing that little miss "can I eat a hot dog on the subway" was under his supervision as a born and bred New Yorker to get on the correct bus to get home in time, well Jess, you fucked up. Jess Mariano's second fuck up is that Rory clearly has some way of communicating with Lorelai, and if Little Mister Walmart had a cellphone, she could have disembarked the bus, called or messaged him, and he could have directed her to the right bus or given her advice on alternate modes of transportation.

You should have, but it's still your cousin's fault. You're making lengthy conversation with strange men on the bus. You're too naive. You can't be trusted in a big city by yourself. She also listed two scenarios where if this were only a couple of years later, having a smartphone to check traffic and schedules would have changed the entire course of the episode. Because We're still on season 2, where you can't show someone drinking a beer and Rory goes to house parties thrown by popular kids where they only drink "imported sodas", this guy is using his beer can for his spit and not to drink. At least by the end of season 3 (KegMax) beer is finally a thing which exists and that wayward youth are seen indulging in.

Family Guy continues to bully Lorelai for being "rich" even moments before she gets her degree. This isn't funny and is in fact quite nauseating and awful.

Yayy. We spot Emily holding back tears during Lorelai's graduation, but afterwards she can only a muster up this ol chestnut: "Congratulations. Hope Raul got some pictures. Welp see ya tomorrow, we gotta go." Okay, okay, this is the worst graduation in history. Mr and Mrs Asshole Family Guy bully you the entire time, your daughter doesn't show up because she's dilly dallying all over New York City shoving wieners in her mouth with your punk future-nephew, you didn't want your parents to show up in the first place because you feel like you'd only disappoint them, but they show up anyway because their grand daughter went behind your back to invite them, then they make a spectacle only to tell you "congratulations" and then try to leave. And to break Lorelai's heart even further, in a few moments she'll find out that Dean Forrester's on his way to being moldy old Wonderbread to Rory and Jess is...the new fancy organic expensive bread from the good supermarket outside of Stars Hollow. Look, she's due for some pretty bad karma but maybe this is a skosh too much at once.

Put it towards therapy.

Certainly not stuck on the wrong bus because her chaperone couldn't be trusted.

Oh Rory you're SO BONED.

Back at home... L: Whatever kept you, whatever you were doing you should have gotten out of it just this once. Was it school? Was it Paris? Oh boy Lorelai I hope you're ready for a real doozy. Anyway, we're finally down to the last four minutes of the episode which is the entire length of Rory's rambling, over the top groveling/ apology.

Hey, that might be enough time to get Dean off your back. Tell her you went to see Jess. DO IT.

"After he called me last night, that phone call... it DID SOMETHING TO ME. I'm ill! I'm sick!" Girl, I feel you. I get it. I get it. Come here. Give me a hug. Rory's groveling is so desperate and pitiful that Lorelai looks utterly reasonable. She is just standing there shaking her head, because let's face it, she's already had one hell of a night so what's one more cherry on top of the shit sundae that was her graduation?

How could I resist? "I can't believe Icut school when finals are coming up to go see a guy who isn't my guy and end up missing my mother's graduation!" But you did it, you were brave, you followed your dear little heart, and I'm proud of you. And the groveling goes on on and on...the stinky bus...the guy with the spit can...she's so sorry...please ground her and make her wash the dishes for a year...she's so sorry...she's stupid and dumb and "girly" for being so impulsive...this isn't her...what a dumb selfish stupid non thinking freak she is...

Uh…

L: "Maybe you don't have a medical condition or a mental problem, maybe you're just falling for Jess." I love Jess, but making the decision to get involved with him DOES involve some level of mental problems, it's pretty much a requirement. The same goes for Rory, who is also deeply fucked up but just better at concealing it. Star crossed lovers, bound by fate, dirty hot dogs, the stars above, the marriage of his uncle to her mother, and loads of familial trauma. Rory-O and Jess-Iet.

Rory, you're a terrible liar. Work on that.

That's it! FOREVER! She adds. Said every 17 year old about some asshole pig boy they dated in high school. It's gonna last forever, Mom! But with the way he weaves in and out of her life for over five years, this is sadly closer to accurate than I like to think about. If Lorelai had a crystal ball or called Miss Cleo she could see into the future and rest easy knowing Jess and Rory only date for like 7 months. But she'd also find out she was going to marry into Jess' family and she would have to see Jess for the rest of her natural life and he would call her Aunt Lorelai at every chance he got just to get under her skin. The universe has a way of evening these things out.

Rory keeps up the pathetically transparent "I love Dean! Dean Dean Dean! Jess is gone. Evaporated. Jess? Jess who? I'm not in love with my cousin!" charade but Lorelai isn't buying it. Ladies and gentlemen, she's still going. And now she has a list. While she was on the Stinky Bus she wrote a list of all the ways she's going to make up for her transgression. She is now going to read the items on the list to Lorelai. One by one. This is surely not the most insufferable ending in gilmore girls history but it's one of those scenes that could have been cut down to half the time. Four minutes of Rory's incessant groveling felt like 30 minutes. Lorelai just looks at Rory as she goes off the deep end, not angry at her but sympathetic and bewildered as her daughter begs to be beaten and suffocated. Oh, and Rory left the Go Go's record she bought for Lorelai on the bus. The end.

[gale-in-space]

Alright, I'm feeling open and uninhibited for no particular reason, so I'm gonna go for it. What the hell.

I highly suspect that I have npd, or narcissistic personality disorder to the uninitiated. Or at the very least, I feel like I definitely have traits of it.

I think a lot of people don't really understand what npd is. I didn't, for sure. I think initial gut reactions to npd tend to be ones of disgust and fear mainly, which are often colored by people's impressions that npd is nothing more than the following: 1) excessive self-absorption 2) a massive superiority complex and 3) utter disregard for others.

It's really a lot more complex than that. A lot of this stuff, at least in my experience, stems from trauma. In my case, it's maladaptive thought patterns and behaviors that maybe served me as a kid trying to survive in an abusive household, but no longer benefit me as an adult. These tendencies have even sabotaged a lot of relationships I've tried to build over the years. It's a very isolating experience.

Let me break it down a bit:

Anecdotally speaking, the excessive need for praise and admiration often seen in typical npd profiles appears to be related to a significant lack of such things in the formative years of one's life. Feeling like you're fated for something greater, like you deserve better than these idiots around you, that you're special somehow and if only other people could see that - that's a trauma response. It's like a form of escapism. As a kid, I fervently wished I could be swept off to a magical land where I was the "chosen one" destined to save its denizens. I used fantasy as an avenue for finding meaning for myself. Really, I just wanted to know that I mattered, especially when my family and classmates and teachers made me feel like I didn't.

Npd, at least to me, also comes with tendencies towards debilitating perfectionism. This can manifest in a few ways. Avoiding situations in which failure feels like a certainty is one such example. For me, this would involve dropping out of anything that I wasn't immediately good at, or was awkward in, or made somewhat of a minor embarrassment of myself (by virtue of being new and also, you know, a human who messes up sometimes. Which is what we humans do).

Directly dovetailing from that: A lot of us narcissists deeply fear being perceived or exposed as a failure. It's like our horrible secret, that we're actually worthless creatures that are only ever capable of ruining things, and that we don't actually deserve anyone's precious time. Or at least, that's how it feels for me. And in some way, I feel like that is my unconscious brain's way of being like "hey, if I shrink my self-esteem down a bunch so that I appear very humble and modest, I'll get more affection and praise and compliments insisting that I'm better than I say I am."

And I eat that shit up. It's like fuel for me. The problem is, it's not sustainable.

It's a really tricky thing to balance, and as of yet, I've not come up with a great solution for dealing with it. My self-esteem is devastatingly low, despite my embarrassingly entitled attitude towards receiving compliments. I think another thing that throws a wrench into the works a bit is (if my theory is correct) the fact that growing up with trauma makes happy memories a bit more slippery to hold onto. So any kind of genuine praise I get is almost immediately forgotten, disappearing into a black hole that is desperate to be filled.

I think something that might help is keeping a record of compliments that people give me. Writing them in a journal, keeping them in a document of some sort, etc, etc. People can't always give all-positive feedback all the time. That's just not how feedback works. But for the days when I'm feeling low and like I don't know who I am or why I'm even here, I can refer to my records. I can use this as evidence. And hopefully, this will provide a foundation for me to build a more robust sense of self.

Anyway, I've rambled on long enough. If you've read this far, thanks! And if you haven't, well, you haven't.

Yeah. Anyway. Later!

[feluka]

Lebanese anon here. One of your recent posts reminded me of a weird period in my life. This was back during the lockdown when I was still a teen and had gotten very into Critical Role. The Beirut port explosion happened around the time I was still obsessed with them, and I remember sometimes going through their social media checking to see if they said something about it (which is stupid on my part. Many celebrities (and just people working in entertainment) were talking about it, which is why I thought there would be a possibility they would say anything). It might have been my very weird way to cope, but I kept searching for any acknowledgment of the horrible thing that happened in my country when I remember the cast expressing their sympathies or even donating (? My memory may be fuzzy here) for many tragedies that have happened in the US or other countries. There was a very specific (a bit parasocial maybe) realization of "oh they don't care about people like me". I don't know where I was going with this honestly. All I know is that people avoiding mentioning the "Isreal-Hamas conflict" (YUCK typing this hurt. THIS IS A GENOCIDE HAPPENING IN PALESTINE NOT A FUCKING CONFLICT) are cowards and are deliberately sending a message. It really doesn't take much to be a decent person please. It's the bare minimum even.

Anyways. You're amazing for keeping anons on and dealing with the awful shit zionists are throwing in your inbox. Sending love ❤️ ❤️❤️

hi! so sorry i'm late to reply, with anons like this that talk about personal experiences i keep telling myself to think deeply to write an adequate and respectful response instead of answering quickly, but then i forget to answer :'(

i know how you feel. sometimes something so terrible happens that it puts a barrier between you and the rest of the world, a sort of disconnect, because you keep thinking: how can the world go on as usual when this has happened? how can people just live their daily lives as usual when this has happened? how can the birds fly and chirp like everything is normal? it's like your brain refuses that the world didn't stop because of this, because *your* world stopped, and you can't grapple with that disconnect.

i think the recent events are the most stark example of this, because we always try to reason with ourselves that it isn't because the world doesn't care, it's because [insert excuse here] so we can still accept this world because we don't want to believe how cruel it is. but with how the recent atrocities in palestine have been so publicized, and how easy it is to acknowledge that and offer compassion, and yet people still don't... there's no mental gymnastics we can play here to avoid the truth that the rich and famous simply don't give a damn. i want to believe that the people who make beautiful art must have beautiful souls themselves, but people keep proving how self centered they are.

if it's worth anything to you anon, lebanon is always always in my thoughts, and i never stopped thinking about your people since the explosion. and now with the israeli invasion i'm praying for you harder than ever. i hope you are safe and as well as could be ♥️♥️♥️

[styrmwb]

Favorite Final Fantasy Music (FFXIV - Stormblood)

I don't think the copypasta has reached Stormblood yet BUT ANYWAYS 2ND EXPANSION LET'S DO ITTTTTT! This is when I started playing XIV! Lots of fond memories of TP (0 fond memories of TP). Something Stormbloood does, very similar to XIII, is the main motif. That shit is EVERYWHERE. And luckily, it's Amazing, so I literally am not complaining about hearing it all the time (spot #1 on this list goes to the stormblood quest accepted tune).

Something I will preface with is a lot of the music I love here is in the Omegascape raids but it's all (mostly) remixes! I love all of those songs but it would be doing this soundtrack a disservice to put any of them in this list (That Dancing Mad version is fucking dope though)

5. Crimson Sunrise Easily my second favorite main city theme. I feel like I can't say much about the melody, cause it is The Stormblood Motif and I'm probably gonna say some more about it later down the list, but I will say I love the instruments used here. The flute and plucking (I think it's a shamisen) is really calming, and the slow tempo of the drums (taiko?) add to this, while also giving that grand nature befitting of a huge city.

4. Dangertek Completely different vibe from the last song. This was originally introduced in PvP, but I more commonly experience it in treasure maps. It's an absolutely banger techno remix of Hard to Kill, the FATE Boss theme, and it's my favorite version of the two. The melody is sick, the guitar playing it rocks, and that heavy beat is a bop. I also really love the interlude section that I can only describe with the BADADUNBADADUNBADADUN noise going back into the Hard to Kill riff again but from a distance, it's so coollllllll I love this song

3. Triumph Part 2 of The Stormblood Motif; but I think this version is the most stand out example. This also includes the Ala Mhigo anthem for an epic combination of both sides of the expansion, a lot of eastern instruments included. I love the start of this song with the japanese flute and the more middle eastern sounding guitar (I have learned that this is called an Oud!) again, showing that combination of two ends. The Ala Mhigo anthem played by the brass builds up the intensity of the song, and then The Stormblood Motif rockets it into pure hype. It's so hard not to sing along to it every time it plays! The finale of this song sounds like a spiral wind down while still keeping the energy. It's impossible to hate any dungeons in this expansion when you know you're gonna hear this at the end. (STORM OF BLOOD, BORN FROM BLOOD, OF OUR FALLEN BROTHERRRRRSSSS! BORN UPON OUR HANDS, CRADLED IN OUR ARMS, SWELLING IN OUR HEAAAAAARTS! RAISE YOUR WEARY HEAD, HEED THE CALL TO ARMS, RINGING IN YOUR HEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAART!!!!)

2. Amatsu Kaze Bringing in that classic Primals rock to this list in my favorite way, Amatsu Kaze is a song I literally liked so much I learned to sing to it despite not knowing Japanese (I'm sure my pronunciation is horrible don't worry I keep it private). That fucking bass at the start is legendary, not to mention the electric strumming and the strange vibraphone like pongs creating a super unique sound. It's not a very high speed intense rush song, but that slower deliberate nature is perfect for Byakko being this massive brutal creature. To the main meat of the song, I love how it's the first lyrical song in XIV to be in Japanese! I mean, like, I don't see why they wouldn't cause it literally takes place in the Far East, but I still love it. The verse sounds like he's holding in his anger, the refrain getting more angry, and then finally screaming in the chorus (I looked up music words for this I hope I'm using them right). The very end of the song before the loop sounds like an absolutely mindless rage, looping and spiraling before calming down once more. What else is really cool about the lyrics is it's actually telling Byakko and Tenzen's story (also shoutouts to the XI reference let's goooo), which the next of the Four Lords' song also does. This song is addictive to listen to, only getting more hype as it continues. In the Primals version, it even has Yoshi-P singing it which is fucking outstanding. (KAZE TODOROKE KAZE TODOROKE KAZE TODOROKEEEEEEEEEE)

1. The Worm's Tail COME DON THE MASK OF BLIND BETRAYAL E'ER DOES THE HEAD DEVOUR ITS TAIL AS IRON BENDS TO STEEL O'ER MY RIVALS I PREVAIL! This song has a beginning so fucking epic, they use it twice in the game (granted the second time was a medley BUT UHH SHUT UP). The Worm's Tail is my favorite final boss theme out of all of the XIV expansions. As you can probably tell, I fucking love that intro. The massive choir setting the stage as you fly into the heavens on a giant fucking dragon that you're literally trying to kill, the drums slamming to raise the song further, I hate using this word so much, but it's fuckin epic! The final note brings tears to my eyes. When the song actually starts, it goes into this really really cool melody that's very bouncy and I THINK it's waltz like? please feel free to correct me on this I need to expand my words but I hope you get what I mean. It's a very unique rhythm. I love the middle part between it looping, continuing to raise the song even higher, almost like that audio illusion that keeps going up despite not actually going up? It gives that illusion of height as it should. The entire way through, the orchestra continues to sound heavy and grand even during the "calmer" parts, which for the size of this fight and Shinryu himself, I think is perfect. Finally, we reach The Stormblood Motif Part 3. The finale of this expansion HAS to fucking have it. The melody itself already sounds uplifting, it already stokes the fires in your heart. Combine it with the sound of this song and the context of the fight, and it brings it to the highest level it could possibly go. Last thoughts, cause I couldn't put them anywhere else, but while the base version is mainly gibberish vocals, the official orchestral version actually adds lyrics (same with Ultima and Heroes), and this song is essentially sung By Zenos. It talks of rising above, it talks about being the beginning and the end, and it's even partly sung in latin, befitting the Garlean Empire. The entire song is Zenos's victory chant against you, but you almost combat him equally with Storm of Blood overtaking the entire song. It's fuckin poetic, man.

Honorable mentions are: Prelude - Long March Home, Heroes of Stormblood, Gates of the Moon, Beauty's Wicked Wiles, Answer on High, Wayward Daughter, eScape, Sunset, Sunrise, and From the Dragon's Wake. (and again like every song in Omegascape and Return to Ivalice (those songs are just straight ports but tactics music fucks))

[rainy-weather-supremacy]

*my body gets hurled against your door with a loud THUNK* Hello

Do you think your characters are irredeemably evil?

Why is Daniel buried all the time. He’s a fucking landlord he has houses

Which of my ocs do you think would hold up against yours in a fight?

Someone’s childhood memory? Good or bad

What makes a character shut down. Like completely unresponsive (it increasingly sounds like I’m planning to fight your ocs lmaoooo)

Who needs to be put on a leash. Like, legit restrained from doing shit

Do your characters have any phobias?

What‘s an opportunity they would never pass up?

Character range. Rate your characters from „my bby“ to „my nasty little bastard.“

That’s all I’m probably having a presentation this afternoon so I’m actively dying. I’m sorry if these questions are weird but my mouth feels really weird rn I think me experiencing anxiety supreme edition. See ya

*I hand you a cup of tea that is not poisoned* Hello!

I don't think so, no. Some of them are pretty fucked up for no easily discernible reason, others got fucked up by things outside of their control, but I think there's some good in all of them and they could eventually be redeemed.

He just likes dirt tbh? Sure being surrounded by tons of concrete is great but the pressure of the earth all around is just something he likes. Man probably owns like seven weighted blankets. The smell is nice too.

That's an interesting question. It can of course depend a lot by location (Daniel for example can bring down any building and crush everyone inside but himself, but outside he pretty much can't do shit) and what would be "allowed". I'm fairly certain that most of them wouldn't survive a magical bomb if it was just dropped on them randomly and most wouldn't survive even if they knew. If we're saying one-on-one combat without magic, there are of course some people that would immediately lose. The Kilmoores seem pretty strong, so I think they could beat most of them. With using all the magic we'd probably have to compare to really know who would be most effective against who. If the museum archives people do things with life and death, they could probably get Leon to actually die but idk they don't seem the people the attack random 9 year olds. Also unrelated but I think Tara would make an exception to their "no blood on my hands" rule and punch Treeve on sight.

Avery's memories of her childhood are mostly from the hunts, which seem to all take place in the early hours of the morning when there's a lot of fog and the sky is grey with the feeling from before rain. Mary and Daniel have mostly bad childhood memories, both of the school and their parents, but they have a few of them standing up for each other or running away together for an afternoon one time that they would never admit they still remember or care about. Daniel has one he remembers well of a storm passing through and Mary letting him sleep in her bed so he wouldn't be scared. Jamie remembers hiding in his closet so he wouldn't have to go to school and pretending he didn't exist. Camilla's most vivid childhood memory is finding her brother dead on the street :D (Rip)

Good question but also. What are you planning. For Mary it's being trapped in a very tight space. Camilla it would be if someone were to take all traces of nature from her, kill her bugs, remove the moss from her hair. Daniel has some triggers that can just completely make him shut down, mostly ties, being shouted at directly by someone he considers a threat or is he's scared and being touched suddenly without asking. Both Arthur and Jamie would absolutely shut down in bright public spaces when everyone is looking at them. Leon isn't easily scared and immune to death himself, but seeing any of his dads or sister dead would fuck him up™️. For Avery, being backstabbed by someone it trusted completely. I'm sure there's more, but none I can think of right now.

Granny. She's like one of those horrible tiny dogs that bites except she also gives you a headache too look at. And scratches.

Mary has claustrophobia. Daniel is scared of heights and large open spaces. Jamie has scopophobia and Mikaela hates spiders. (I am once again worried 🧐)

That's a hard one, actually. Camilla, Toby and Arthur would want to bring Leon back to life. Leon would want to actually die. This one's abstract, but Arthur would absolutely leave into the sky to become a star. Toby would give a lot to have his 'powers' of stealing other's happiness etc taken away and Camilla for all humans to disappear. (I don't know why I'm so focussed on them lmao.) If Tara could have every person that has done what they consider a bad thing fall over and die they would, no matter what it would lead to. I guess a few of them would just kill each other if they had the chance.

I made this instead of eating lunch.

Good luck on your presentation remember to drink water and until I next make myself known by throwing things at your windos.

[toyotacorolla2008]

hi!!! i was wondering if you could do a tutorial for how you draw transformers? i can never simplify them like you can. do you have any tips?? also love your art sm <33

hi ヾ(•ω•`)o

I WILL TRY MY best to explain what i do… i don’t actually have a very structured system but this is vaguely how i got started and how i simplified the process

1. look up and compile a whole bunch of references

this will be useful for EVERYTHING– transfomos come with lots of shapes and gizmos and details and stuff so a variety of references from different angles and in different poses is really useful because you can see the shapes they’re made out of and also understand how everything connects with each other

trapezoid town! this is a mess but it’s a quick example of how by looking at everything you start to notice trends or details like what moves with what or how flexible some parts are

there are a whole bunch of resources very nice people have compiled on the web like here here here here and here (mainly MTMTE) and there is a discord server (this is a link to a tumblr post about it and not the invite link itself) for it too but you can always look through the source material and just start screenshotting and pasting shit into a folder. 

you don’t have to do humongous in-depth breakdowns if you just want to be able to quickly doodle robots (god knows i don’t!!) but having the references on-hand makes it easier for the times when you’re like This pose is going to be challenging and I’m not sure how all of the cuboids will be positioned.

references also help break you out of thinking of it as just drawing blockier humans because the proportions and shapes vary a looooooot

2. draw draw draw

at first i drew a lot using refs heavily to get an idea of the shapes then i got lazy and just started drawing anime girls and smacking rectangles and kibble on top BUT as you draw more and more you start to pick up on the Salient Features as well as their General Silhouette.

drawing from memory means that what makes them look recognisable will become more emphasised in your mind so you’ll naturally pick up on how you can simplify them without losing what makes your guy Look Like Your Guy. so if you want to simplify the robots just be incredibly lazy like me B)

i'm kind of horrible because i don't even do like Basic Shapes i literally just eyeball it

for poses i rectangle it out while thinking really hard

anyway when i first tried to draw transformers but Something Didn’t Look Right it was either a) the level of detail across the entire drawing was inconsistent and threw it off balance or b) proportions weren’t right and these things only got better with me finangling and doodling and learning by iteration.

of course sometimes i don’t give a fuck because no cops in transformers doodle land but yeahhhh i’m the kind of guy who only gets through stuff by throwing a lot of rocks at it. i don’t have a Method to offer you unfortunately but what i did do was

3. experiment and exaggerate and experiment!!

The First Rule of Gun Safety is to Have Fun and Be Yourself! i took a lot of liberties and rarely stayed on-model when i doodled and waffled around (and i still do…) but it helped me figure out how much i was willing to draw lol and consequently how i would stylise them.

i would play with how big or small or exaggerated or expressive they'd be… even my most detailed drawings are nowhere near comic-detail but my least detailed ones were. turquoise triangle that’s vaguely brainstorm-shaped. having fun with it and just doing it to make stupid jokes makes the practice seem like not practice.

so yeah tl;dr i started by reffing what bots actually look like, would trace comic panels to get an idea of the shapes and details and then start drawing side-by-side → drew billions of perceptors from my diseased mind and played around with lines → ??? → upgraded from goofy-looking rectangles to goofy-looking rectangles

that’s it for advice! (i don’t feel qualified to say that much)

below are just examples of stupid doodles i’d make on my ipad in class or in the margins of assignments lol, you can tell the last one is from when i still didn't understand brainstorm's build very well because the wings are placed wrongly... But i grew.

hope this was somewhat helpful! there are other tutorials from other artists that i can direct you to but this is how toyotacorolla2008 got to shitposting on tumblr dot com

[tiny012]

Real easy for Mars to call Usagi a coward when she wasn't the one who regained the memories of the GENOCIDAL ATTACK ON HER KINGDOM + HER PAST SELF'S DEATH. Why didn't she and the others understand that?? There's no reason for them not to, especially not Luna and Artemis who (were in stasis instead of being reincarnated so they got all their memories) saw that shit happen themselves and should have been the most sympathetic to her. That scene is the top example of the Inner Senshi + the cats being absolute shit to Usagi in the 90s anime.

So for anyone needs a refresher

The main thread

The sub thread and my break down

But yes

Usagi just got memories of her people, her mom, her love, them ,and her home being attacked and destroyed by a woman who still wants to kill her. To top it off, just saw the guy she through she didn't like who she through was a jerk but did have a tiny crunch has been helping her since she turned into Sailor Moon ( aka DAY ONE even before the Senshi come into to play) get stabbed in front on her. Which she through was dead because the last thing she remembered before passing out is holding his cold body next to her while getting her memories' of her past and him. Only to wake up with him nowhere to be found. Only to be told that " Hey He's alive but our enemies got him." Which she's seeing over and over in her head (IN RED) a big crystal rushing to him thanks to Zoi and him getting stabbed by it after he said he got this and he going to protect her.

So yes when Usagi said this

" I don't want to. I just don't want to fight anymore. But I just don't want to. Being told I'm a princess doesn't make me feel like one and it doesn't make me happy at all! I am Usagi Tsukino. I don't care about any mission anymore! So what about my previous life? It has nothing to do with me! What's with all of you ? I just don't want to fight anymore! If everyone ( she remembers what happens to Mamoru with the stab and start having tears in her eyes) If everyone ends up like Mamoru I don't want to see that. ( which she see the crystal stabs him more and she closes her eyes) It's too sad. I don't want this."

She was totally having a PTSD moment in which the only thing I hate is the fact it was in the tower where none of them was not safe at all.

But Oh

We are not being fair to Rei because she cares about Mamoru as Mamoru

Not him as being Mask.

But she have the audacity to put on her hands on her "friend" who she just found out is her princess who is an emotional wreck right now?

Who needs a hug and not a fucking slap to the face and to be called a crybaby even Rei emotions on high too but she didn't see what Usagi saw.

She did see red and a crystal stabbing Mamo and his body going to the ground over and over again like Usagi do.

She just saw the aftermath of what happened.

So to me it's another slap in the face when Rei said this to her

" Mamoru got hurt saving a crybaby like you." or " Mamoru did all that just to protect a coward like you"

Because Bitch!!

She fucking knows that! She saw it and it constantly playing it her head over and over again. She's going to have nightmares of that scene. She's going to wish she could have done more to save him but she doesn't want YALL to end up like that.

But she's a coward because she doesn't want to see none of yall end up the same way which yall do in a few episodes?.

Which yall did in the past?

I have treat for you fresh from today

Look at this tread right here

This is from today when they made their return ( because I think they probably got banned for two weeks)

I really need to stop entertaining them for real.

Because I don't want to get banned from that reddit fooling with them.

But yes everyone in that scene was just downright horrible to Usagi and not understanding her state of mind at that time.

[pie-of-flames]

Beatles Asks - 3, 7 and 13 please!

I'm gonna do these separately because it's a lot.

3. What’s your opinion on The Beatles wives?

This is a very broad topic.

Cynthia: I read Cynthia’s book John: A Biography. Of course, any book like this has to be take with a grain of salt, assuming some level of self-interest and faulty memories. Even so, my heart really goes out to her after reading this. I believe she and John were truly in love. The pics of them together are always really cute. But I kind of doubt they would have married if she hadn’t gotten pregnant. Either John fell out of love or was too fucked up in general, or his mental issues were exacerbated by Beatlemania and later, heavy drug use, for the marriage to last long. He neglected Cyn and Julian horribly and was a gigantic asshole. For example, he hounded her to take acid and then, when she finally did and had a bad trip, he completely neglected her and left her alone to suffer. She says she even considered suicide during that trip. And don’t even get me started on the divorce. He really mistreated her. Granted, he was probably emotionally incapable of treating her with humanity, given his mental health issues. But he was just horrible and acted unforgivably.

Pattie: I also read the George part of Pattie’s book, Wonderful Tonight. She seems fine. I don’t have any feelings about her one way or another. They’re cute together. Both she and George were so young then. George was a shit near the end, of course.

Yoko: You know, who really knows what was going on between her and John? I do think they were genuinely in love. But I also think, in May 1968 when they got together, the relationship offered transactional benefits to both of them. She obviously wanted to snag a Beatle and become famous. She’d been stalking John for a pretty long time. And John desperately needed a “guru” to give he life structure and focus. He was really flailing after India, clearly in mental distress after losing Brian (and Whatever Happened In India™ which may have involved John feeling like he’d lost Paul somehow) and doing huge amounts of acid again. (Enter my theory that he had borderline personality disorder where you latch on to an Important Person to provide your identity.) Both of them were all on board with a codependent, all-consuming relationship. She doesn't seem like a particularly nice person, what with the stories about her ordering around Apple employees like they were her personal servants. She also seems very manipulative, but then again, so was John. Personally, I cannot stand her "singing" (I study classical singing, so...it's just painful to listen to.)

Skipping to the seventies, my impression is John wanted Yoko to control his life and she did,         although they also seemed to enjoy playing power games with each other. I don’t know why he went back to her after the Lost Weekend, but I assume part of it was a need to give up control to another person. It’s hard to tell if they were still in love in the seventies. I would love to find out what was really going on between them in this period because there’s such a drastic difference in opinions, like “happy, bread baking house husband” narrative vs. “depressed, in bed getting high and watching TV” all the time narrative.

Linda: I do think there was a bit of the starfucker in her but she and Paul were obviously in love and devoted to each other, as far as we can tell. No other thoughts. I don't really know much about her. I’m grateful for all her photos of Paul. :)

Later Paul wives: no opinion, I don’t know enough.

Olivia: same. I'm glad she and George were able to have Dhani.

[overthinkingtaleblr]

Oh damn the stabby man. This has been stored in my head since 2018 and now that we're making canon liquid I'm throwing this into the world: the idea that Jimmy is young

Like during the times we see him, some of the stuff he says/does seems... almost kiddish. Like him saying that "you guys are the colors of skittles" or that he gets frustrated with long chases (as seen in one of the multiplayer slender videos. Watch his facecam)

So you know after CBF ups and leaves Gregory and he gets chased off to the woods? Yeah, what if he died in those woods? It could've been starvation, dehydration, eating poison, whatever - point is: he's dead, and at this point his age is frozen.

It takes years to find someone that can see him (Ghost), and he latches onto him, but because he's been dead for so long, it just... Continues where it left off. So Ghost could be 15 and Jimmy is 7 for example.

It's accepted that Ghost had a shit childhood, so it's possible that it rubbed off on Jimmy to the point of mania. I always thought Ghost was late 20s - early 30s, so at that point Jimmy is like 20-24.

I have so much headcannon for the Trauma magnet and his pet bastard

So in this idea, Jimmy acts childish because he is a child, he lacks empathy because he was too young to really learn it, and he’s probably a murderer because… well, whatever drives a seven-year-old in an older person’s body to stab people. Idk why he switched his name from Gregory to Jimmy (probably same reason Ghost changes his name when he’s Gregory), but it does make sense that he might just be a child who doesn’t see that what he’s doing is real, so Jimmy Casket might be a name he used while playing make-believe.

Maybe CBF and Jimmy are siblings or something here, it would be a horrible cycle where one sibling scares the other to their death, and then when they try to reconnect they only find this really messed-up, practically evil spirit left behind. If Jimmy is possessing or latched onto Ghost, it makes sense that CBF might see Ghost as Jimmy, even if they never met before. I could see Jimmy’s memories melding with Ghost’s a lot, making both of them struggle to discern what is real and who experienced what— like Ghost saying he and Toast went somewhere together with Toast’s dad when they were five, even though by my calculations, Toast’s dad was dead by that point.

I know you said that Jimmy would continue aging after being taken in by Ghost, but the idea of him never really maturing or aging because. Y’know, the whole being dead thing, does make stories of trying to deal with Jimmy go from ‘trying to banish this wicked demon who feeds on murder’ to ‘trying to reason with this poor kid who doesn’t understand all the harm he’s doing, and if he does he doesn’t realize why it’s bad yet’. I imaging living in a place where people come back from the dead can really mess with someone’s object permanence about lives.

Also— Trauma magnet and pet bastard is a really funny and accurate way to describe the two anon, i love it.

[a-sentient-horax]

November 27, 2023 - Part 2

So I've been asking my boyfriend about what he sees, because he's an honest, third party observer with 5 years of context for this woman and her family. One thing that he said is that he felt like she was acting, like constantly. Which makes sense because (as I told him) it seems like my mom has a vision for how every event in her life should look every time it happens, and it has to like, go a certain way exactly how she expects it. My boyfriend called it being the actor and director at the same time. For example, when we were at dinner, my youngest brother asked her a pretty innocuous question. I can't remember what it was but it was something like "Mom, I want to be a fisherman one day!" We were at a seafood place, there were cool fish things all around us, he's a nine year old boy who just saw a fishing rod and went 'hell yeah.' In response, my mom turned her entire body towards him and like, held his hands in hers. She looks him right in the eyes and in a very serious, slow, incredibly emotive voice she starts talking to him about being a fisherman. "Well [my brother], you would have to work on a big boat, do you think you'd like that? And you'd have to be at sea for weeks and weeks, and most fisherman use a net, not a rod." And on and on in a very serious conversation. It's as if she needs every conversation with her children to be a perfect, manicured, core memory where she is a wise, perfect adult giving them life changing information and advice.

And in a way I feel guilty. I laid into my mom before I cut her off, told her what a horrible monster she was for treating me and my siblings the way that she did. I said awful awful things to her (granted, they reflected my genuine emotions in how I felt about her parenting and how it affected me). But I worry that now she is taking it like, every moment could be the moment that she fucks up so bad that one of her kids decides they hate her. Except I remember her talking to me the same way she talked to my youngest brother, so it's something she picked up before I left and before my sister attempted su*c*de. Also it's like, not what my complaint was. I didn't hate my mother because she flippantly answered my questions without giving much care to what she was saying, I hated her because no matter what I did, it was never enough and I was constantly met with over the top, excessive, controlling punishments that were communicated to me via screaming. I was not allowed a childhood, or allowed to try new things or make mistakes without being met with getting my friends taken away from me, losing my privacy, or being bombarded with petty guilt and irrational outbursts. It's like she missed the point. I don't know. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about her, and I don't know how I feel about her.

I will write more on my siblings later, but my mother has totally consumed my thoughts while she was here and even after she has left.

The other person on my mind is the Creep. He and I have a project that is due in two days, then I can pretty much finally be rid of him (thank God). He didn't come to class today, and I doubt he has done his part of the project but honest to God I don't care anymore. After this class I am going to finish the homework I have due tonight, and then just work on our project. I genuinely don't care at all if I have to do the whole thing over the next two days I want this weirdo out of my life forever and I cannot wait for it to be done. Our final in this class is next Wednesday and seriously after that I think I will just never talk to him again. I'm hoping to just turn off read receipts for him only and soft block him on everything. I think he sort of knows this is coming by now, or he should, considering how cold of a shoulder I've been giving him.

He's been like, doing this thing where he tells me all the scary shit he's going through right now. The roommate he paid to come down to Texas with him is mentally unstable. He knew this and still brought him to Texas promising to pay for him to live. As it turns out this roommate doesn't always act exactly how Creep wants him to, so he doesn't like him anymore. He lives in a bad neighborhood where there are gunshots and crime, and since he grew up rich he is scared and bought a gun. After I told him I do not want to talk about guns at all, he continued to bring the topic up, now he says he's bought a gun, and he's also texted me that he misses me and I hope I know I'm loved. Again, after I told him I don't like when he uses those kinds of words with me. He's a boundary pusher and frankly I am not the one. Again, after each time that he has pushed my boundaries or done or said something I explicitly asked him not to do, I have gotten colder. For example, he said that he loves me platonically a month or two back. I told him I dont really feel comfortable with that. So he said it again immediately. I told him that I really don't like that he said it again. He said it AGAIN immediately after, and finally I told him to stop. Then when he tried to reel it back "Oh I just thought you wanted..." I just stopped texting him. And now it's like, he's trying to push my boundaries over and over again and when he does I talk to him less and less. I don't understand what he thinks is going to happen but what IS going to happen is we are never going to talk again after this project. I don't care if he learns his lesson or not, I want to get rid of him. My biggest fear is my boyfriend finds all the weird texts he sent me and like, goes ballistic on this guy, or that it affects our relationship somehow. And as I've said before, it's incredibly hard to explain to a man that this sort of behavior from guys is something that I've dealt with my whole life and it's just going to keep happeneing. There are so many creeps and I'm going to have to put up with all of them. It's dangerous to me, to my career, and to my ability to socialize if I don't deal with this in the subtle way that I am: giving him the cold shoulder until I can block him forever.

I also fear that my boyfriend would see the weird texts and take it as a self-esteem hit or something. That like, other guys are texting his girlfriend weird things and he can't so anything about it or I don't know. The last thing I want is for this Creep to also make my boyfriend feel weird. I just hate that he is in my life. I can't wait to wipe him from my phone and move on to healthier friendships.

[leffee]

I'd love to hear your lps headcanons if your up to share them 🥺🧡

Okay, so, uh, I didn't actually expect one person to want to hear my shit but now tthere arethree who do (the third one commented hence there's no screenshot of their question but you know who you are) and I am elated but also intimidated. Anyway

As I said before most of them are for Vinnie the beloved, but I will definitely sprinkle other characters in there as well. And third! I basically pulled most of those headcanons out of my ass and they have nothing to do with canon, but seriously, a lot of them I thought of years ago and just kept adding stuff or changing and transforming, borrowing from other characters, projecting until it became an absolute mess. Seriously, this. is. a. mess. Stars help us all.

Ah, and something that I definitely should have mentioned before, most of those are for human au. If possible feel free to take them as if they are for the normal one in which everyone is pets as we know them, but in others, you just won't be able.

Oh, and Vinnie's my favourite character and you know what we do with favourite characters. That's right, I'm gonna fucking give him trauma. Let us commence forth:

let's start with something easy, if we're talking about a universe where people aren't born with colorful hair (basically anime) then his natural hair color is definitely ginger

speaking of his hair, it's long, like, waist-long, but obviously, you can't see itnormallyy in that beautiful pompadour of his, and he takes great care of not letting anyone see that (don't ask how that is supposed to work, I don't know)

he's so so flexible, for example he could do most yoga poses without trying too hard

oh, he's tiny, approximately 5'2" but Russell is also approximately that height and they do argue about it sometimes, each trying to prove that they are in fact taller. They tried so many methods and did official measuring at so many doctor's offices, but the results are always different with that minimal difference which once deems Russell taller and the other time it's Vinnie, so they just continue while Sunil is just a witness to it all, standing there in his tall glory, and one day Penny whispered to him, "They know they're basically fighting over the last place, right?"

he's not genuinely angry or irritated often, but when he is, oh stars he's scary like holy crap and everyone is very much aware of it

he's fairly good at video games, nothing that crazy, but just quite good

also, he's naturally really pale, close to looking sickly pale, but this is just his normal complexion

he's from Italy, Padua to be more exact, however, when he was around 4 he, his sister, and his mother moved to the States so he barely has any memory of it. What he does however have is bilinguality. Yup, he speaks both Italian and English, though obviously doesn't really have that many occasions to speak Italian now

he has vasovagal syncope to needles

oh yeah, he has an older sister whose name is Stephanie and she soaked up all the height genes, like bro

his mother is just a horrible, emotionally abusive person and more and I could talk about her alone for so long but let's stop here for now, also her name is Diana

listen, listen, he has abandonment anxiety and that actually kinda makes sense even in canon but only kinda

he and Penny are such good friends, not quite as good as he and Sunil but still good, and Penny is so affectionate to him, I mean, in general too but whatever they love each other (one is more open about it than the other ehehe)

he has quite an amazing pain tolerance, not naturally though, but he is clumsy and he did break his bones so many times he basically got used to it

I can't decide what age I want to give him but I'd say something between 19 and 25, although sometimes I'm like "Yup, 35 :D"

my boy doesn't like coffee all that much unless it's iced coffee, that he could drink in gallons, he likes energy drinks too

he has so. many. freckles all over his body, mainly on his face and shoulders, sure, but still pretty much everywhere, more or less

he has a tiniest tiny itsy bitsy big obsession with his hair and has so many hair products and will feel genuinely deflated if he has to, for whatever reason, skip his routine of using them

he and Pepper are such silly goofy friends :D they do the stupidest, goofiestiest shit together and on internet chats (discord, basically) they talk in such incoherent memes' language only they can understand it

and don't even get me started on him and Minka, they're kinda like him and Pepper but more wholesome??? They also have this running joke of "being married"

he's allergic to raspberries

he has so many leg warmers, the boy is always cold, you know?

he either doesn't sleep throughout the whole night or sleeps for 12 hours, there's no in-between

Yeah, this isn't even close to all my headcanons but I figured I would stop here. I have so, so many more, like, I didn't even touch the shipping for Vinnie or anyone else for that matter (Vinnil, anyone? Others too). I also wanted to sort of color code those headcanons cause there are differentkindsa of, some Iliterallyy pulled out of my ass, others are somewhat related to canon, and few are based on some fanfics, and more, however, I figured that it would look like an absolute mess if I did it.

I could literally expand on any of those headcanons, some more some less (if someone would be curious ahaha, I could write you an essay), but bold of you to assume that I don't have a whole backstory developed for my boy. I do, and it's long. Also has different versions too because I couldn't just settle for one hence all this is so messy. And I didn't even really show that trauma part too much, but honestly, this is mostly in that backstory aspect. I don't know what else to tell you, but I have so much more and whether you, the person reading it, end up liking it or not, thank you for giving me that possibility of sharing my cringe. And I know I fangirled over Vinnie but I swear I love all of the pets, or humans in this case, you know what I mean.

He's just THE blorbo

[canceramorem]

So I would have good memories and absolutely horrible memories . One of them was a time when me and Gary were down the river and Marie was there. Jimmy came he's a friend of ours he makes jewelry and he's homeless and a nice guy. He's missing most of his teeth and he's just you know hygienically speaking , he is pretty nasty. He's also mentally ill something wrong with him upstairs but he's nice guy. So Gary had to move his stuff up from the river up to the to the mountain top, we did it we all carried one load up there and then we got up there and Jimmy bought some dope from Gary . Earlier I had noticed that Jimmy had been giving her the eyes and you know she's flirting whatever I didn't think much of it but Jimmy was grabbing to grab where her ass was supposed to be at but my leg was there and he rubbed my leg by accident saying oops. I didn't think much of it I didn't think that she would go for someone like Jimmy just didn't think but she just flirting she's nice. So we get to the mountaintop and Jimmy buys some stuff and she's begging him for a hit and whatever which I would have gave her some once we're done moving this stuff up there , she couldn't wait. So Jimmy and her are smoking on the foil the boat and Gerald and I go down to get the last load and it takes a little bit longer than usual. And when we come back she is in the in my tent, our tent with Jimmy. So, 5 minutes and they're not in the tent fucking they're making out in there and I unzip the tent and I'm like what the fuck! You know what her answer was? Her answer was , he was showing me jewelry and she was actually mad at me mad at me while she was doing that. Yeah she's give me dirty looks and just being a bitch at me for what she did in front of me like totally shattered my heart. I just couldn't believe that she would actually do that with one of my friends , yeah and she'll deny it up and down and say it didn't happen , but it did and I remember and I know she remembers. And that's what makes J Pizzle a fun dummy because he's probably should have just stopped there and been like you know what I don't need that but instead and because of the curse , the love curse he continued to love her maybe even more so I don't know but he did love her and does love her- Fucking crash test dummy! The funny thing is had she just helped us with they didn't either one of them help us with the last load they wanted to be alone up there and had she helped us and he helped us I would have gave them bunch of shit ,A bunch of dope. This is just one example. She thinks it's normal to do this type of thing, it is not, and so he pushed past this and continued to love , but the pain from it lingers and continues to linger even to this day. Because if she did that when he was with her in the same town , then what would she do if they were separated , and living in different states, but still " together".

Fucking CRASH TEST DUMMY- JEY PIZZLE

August came and the light at the end of the summer was that the one true love of my life actually did have a heart,and really, (I think or thought), loved me tremendously. So tremendously in fact, that she was willing to risk some things for me. Like risk her place to stay, , "image " of little miss - I don't do wrong, and food. Her food source. As in she can eat whenever she wants. What's her reward for such risks?

Her reward would be me, my love and the fact that I would , could , and did, make the medicine that she loved to do, it helped her. It is a medicine. She invented the ' medicine' nickname. Everyone else calls it , ' Go' , ' Clear' , or the dreaded ' M' word- Methamphetamine. So , after she somehow got in touch with me, I think it was email. We did what we always did after any length of time apart from each other - we face timed, and talked on the phone for hours, and not a couple, I'm talking 8 hour talks, we never ever had that awkward silence like most couples have . NOPE , trust me, the awkward silence has never existed in our 'magical' relationship. Her and I can talk, and not stop, for days . even when we get tired, we leave the phones on, so we are like , ' there ' with each other.

I had a little practice when it came to her asking for me to come to her. Remember, in Asheville, not only did I surpass amazing odds ( getting out of jail on p.r.), get to Fayetteville the next day. With no phone, no jacket( fucking freezing in January), and no money. And get this- with about 100$ worth of Valentines Candy -just for my one true love. Well that was baby steps. This time she was somewhere else. Somewhere I had sworn to myself I would never go to. Fucking north of Virginia, all the way to fucking New York, Nasty Fucking Syracuse to be exact. I must be stupid or just crazy in love...