#my therapist when i was a kid said it was a trauma response lol

[theroamingtrashcan]

Laying here trying to sleep, thinking about how I headcanon Moon Knight sleeps and how the only person who really knows this would be Layla.

Steven tosses and turns and has vivid dreams that leave him mumbling nonsense. He’s the worst of the three to share a bed with as his flopping around can make the bed move quite a bit. It’s really hard for Steven to fall into a deep sleep, especially after the events in Cairo. Layla tries to encourage him to drink calming tea or take melatonin before bed, and he usually listens. It helps, sometimes.

Jake’s sleeping puzzles Layla. He tends to find a comfortable position, then never leaves it. Not that he is getting better sleep than Steven, at the drop of a hat he’s awake and ready to defend him and Layla. When he is sleeping, he’s as stiff as a board. No tossing, no turning, just tense and unmoving.

Marc is the most sound sleeper of the bunch. Curled in the fetal position, Layla thinks he’s rather cute when asleep. Sometimes though he will wake Layla with shouting, as nightmares plague his unconscious brain. Like Steven this only got worse after Cairo. She grew used to this forever ago, and just gently holds him until peaceful sleep is able to find him once more.

[caffeine-n-andreneline]

SnV Qin Shi Huang || Ying Zheng x Fem!Reader

Warnings: First fic lol, historical inaccuracies, typical cannon violence, a kid with trauma and a wannabe therapist, Soulmate AU, slowburn(?), Warring States period-ish, JJK cross over kinda-ish, baby qin needs a hug.

The notes of the koto reverberated throughout the Michizane household. The people laughed and drank sake to their heart's content, whilst applauding to the child in the middle of the room, playing the said instrument with finesse.

Accompanied with her voice, she sang much like a true virtuoso. It did not take long for her performance to end, the cheers dying down as the adults went on to mind their own business.

The girl with the (H/c) hair rose from her previous position and bowed down for gratitude. When she exited, two servants followed suit, storing away the heavy hunk of wood.

Now, she rests by the secluded part of their home, in an open porch, which showcases the serene Zen Garden that the Michizane managed whilst the gathering continued with their faint chatters in the background. Red cherry blossoms flutter with grace as they are coveted by the grassy grounds.

She opens the palm which bears her soulmate's first words upward to the midnight sky.

A single gray petal is what she sees.

Never had she seen the shade of red. That questionable goop of gray upon her lips as well as the women back inside the gathering? Or the fine silks and fabrics all over their house?

Even her own blood. Gray and so dark you could mistake it as black like ink. In all honesty? It's slowly–making her insane.

"Sunshine, it's chilly here. I suppose we should get you back inside." From behind her, a deep voice of a man startled her tiny heart, yet she still managed to put on a neutral face.

"You make such awful callings, father."

A man of tall stature came to her view. Her father, Michizane Sugawara, the patriarch of the household she resides in. A scholar once of common blood, he rose to his position today for his great contributions and efforts, became a vassal of a shogun–a daimyo which also holds the title of this state's diplomat.

"Well then, hm. Moonlight, how about we head back inside? I suppose there's still some daifuku left if I'm not mistaken." He continued, scooting beside her daughter.

The patriarch had his hair painted in snow, his eyes as blue as ice. Almost a carbon copy, aside her hair, to the pensive girl on his side.

"That's the same thing." The daughter bluntly replied.

"I suppose you're right."

Then there was a short pause.

"But you, you're not alright at all." Glancing to her daughter, he resumed.

"You can always tell me what ails you, you know?"

He waited for a response. A few moments have passed by, but still none. It seems the girl is in deep thoughts. Until the silence was broken with her declaration.

"I want to see red. It drives me mad. It should be a color that I see regularly everyday, yet it's replaced by this boring monotone color I see instead."

She ranted. Michizane knew this feeling all too well. There he decided bringing her along not only could give her experience, but also give her the opportunity to find what she seeks.

"Perchance you could see it soon." He gave her a reassuring smile.

"How do you know?" She asks, with her voice laced in doubt.

"My intuition tells me so. Did you know I can't see the colour of the rays of the sun when I have yet to meet your mother?"

"....must've been so bright."

"Yes, indeed. Your other half, surely they gaze upon the vast horizon of the heavens, and wonder when they could see the fleeting blues of the skies or the deep azure of the seas. When they could finally see those ocean eyes of yours."

This made the girl think even more deeply. Realizing it's not only she who longs for such. There could be even thousands if not millions of those who're blind to a certain colour.

The cold touch of her father's calloused hands made contact with her small and nimble ones. Slowly finding its way to her wrist, where her soulmate's first words are imprinted to her skin.

"I've taught you few about the dialect, haven't I, my moonlight?"

Slowly, he traces the calligraphy above her skin. She could only watch her father draw on her wrist and answer his question.

Back when she was younger, she found herself awestruck with his father's handiwork. She loved the crisp sound of paper being folded, the way his father used a brush to write the letters she could barely understand with elegance and precision.

One night, before going to sleep, his father had gifted her something. A box of brushes, along with a small jar of ink–and parchment of papers with drawn guides with the use of charcoal. Starting from there, her education on the arts of calligraphy and linguistics began.

And today, at such a young age–she's already considered to be a polyglot. A scholar ready to expand her knowledge.

".....yes? The archaic dialect used in the state of Qin nearby Zhao dynasty yonder?" The girl already knew the answer to this. It wouldn't take for an alchemist to figure it all out.

"Exactly. I suppose you already know what that means."

"My fated one is of foreign lands." Michizane saw the disappointment in her daughter's face. It appears that she can't hide what she feels well.

In her mind, she could only think of how only in her next life she could see red.

"And by the next full moon, we'll embark our way there."

Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion, processing the words her father had just said. Then when she came to an understanding, she just realized her father had just said that.

"Well, off we go now, my sweet. Unless we are to freeze to our deaths then we cannot see your soulmate!"

In a split second, the diplomat had already thrown and secured her daughter in his arms, giving her no time to retaliate as he marched his way back inside their warm home.

"Wait! Now hang on for just a second da–"

"Nuh uh, I already feel your brother's glutton radiating beyond these doors. We wouldn't want your daifukus to end up in his greedy belly, would we?"

Sugawara jests.

Notes: This fic will have Jujutsu Kaisen elements, hence the crossovers in the warnings. I'll be describing the reader as the diplomat's daughter and refrain on using "Y/n". One particular physical feature that I'll be explicitly describing the reader has is that they possess blue eyes. And the rest is up to your imagination. Fun fact! Michizane No Sugawara or in this case, the readers' father is Gojo Satoru's ancestor from jujutsu Kaisen.

[foggyparadisecandy]

Since you asked, therapy is going well. Oh please don't bother to read this - it's so ... non-horny and awful.

Yes - I am very intelligent and observant. And yes - I shouldn't diminish the fact that I saw and stepped over my ex's trauma.

I am valid in saying I saw these things - it's not some monday morning quarterbacking where I can look over the past perfectly. I HAVE THE LOGS - I CAN SEE WHAT SHE WROTE AND WHAT I WROTE. I SAW IT AND WALKED PAST THEM!!!!! I'm not imagining shit.

But ... I'm not a trained trauma specialist. I had NO idea how to address it. I was uncomfortable. My responses show that clearly ... I felt awkward and nervous and scared for her.

I had already told her (I was her daddy - I told her and she did stuff) to see a therapist. She *had* tried two separate therapists because I prompted her. I wasn't trying to fix her stuff without a specialist.

She just had the misfortune of getting two really awful therapists. Just ... awful. We ran out of runway to find a third when she hit her trauma point.

If I knew then what I know now, I would have said "find a trauma specialist" and "reach out to dozens of them so you get in sooner - don't wait MONTHS to see someone."

Ugh. I can own that I saw what I saw. But I can also let go of the guilt. And ... yeah ... working on it. Working on it.

And yeah ... she should have spoke up more. She should have asked for help. Yeah ... she was not used to a supporting and caring person. I scared her with my love sometimes. She was uncomfortable with it. I get that. I do I do I do.

But fuck. She is so capable. She had choices on how to respond.

It's done, it's done, it's done. No point in spiraling again.

She's gone, she's gone, she's gone.

Anyhoooooo therapy is going well. lol

This might sound foolish to some of you but I asked the therapist to explain boundaries to me. I am smart. I read a lot. I've read up on them because so many kind people have said during this dark period "Foggy, you need better boundaries."

I literally have no idea how to navigate or set up a boundary. It's why I forgive so easily. I mean ... yeah ... techically if you shit on me the same way multiple times, I *will* cut you out of my life. Forgive you, yes, but also cut you out.

She asked me "and have you ever actually cut someone out of your life that way?" lol ... rude question. Dear reader, I'm sure you can guess my answer.

She then asked, "why is it you find it so hard to put up boundaries to protect yourself? Are you afraid of hurting them?"

No. That's not it. "It's because if I do that, i won't be there when they need me."

Just like my fucking mom needed me when I was a kid. To keep her insanity in check. To keep from burning our house down (figuratively ... and ... literally threatened to do).

So yeah ... no fucking wonder I have no boundaries.

I wasn't taught anything better.

What a shit show to find out your life is just full of stupid shit because of shit that happened when you were a little kid.

Oh well. Whatever, I guess.

The good news is "Foggy, it's ok. You see it now. Now we can build off your knowledge and set up reasonable boundaries for your future self. You can do this."

Ok Doc. I forgive you for being so real and pointing out my weaknesses.

Fuck that girl for abandoning me though. I love her. I forgive her. I hope she's ok but ... fuck her for slicing my heart and soul into pieces.

I didn't deserve any of that shit. BARE MINIMUM FUCKING LET ME KNOW YOU ARE DOING OK SO I CAN HAVE SOME PEACE OF MIND. God. I took great care of her.

She doesn't owe me anything ... I guess that's so. And what a shitty world we live in where we don't owe anything to people who care deeply about us.

[trilies]

hey @glaxusplaxus, let's move this new a new post, because the Reply section is a nightmare.

You said: "Oh and for the people who say they make & consume content sexualising minors.ect as a coping mechanism, ever considered the fact that is not a healthy coping mechanism, in the slightest? I have ptsd from shit I went through as a kid and not once can I imagine consuming or making media/porn that reminds me of it ever. This is not helping you and is contributing to the cycle."

I said: "Unless you are the certified therapist/psychiatrist of a specific individual, you are grossly unqualified for what is a "healthy coping mechanism", and may be approaching this from a very biased viewpoint? How do you know it's "contributing to the cycle"? do you have hard numbers on that?"

Your response, and which I decided to move to a new post, was: "Tell me how at all that could ever be a healthy coping mechanism, ever. also lol at "hard numbers' psychology isn't cut and dry science, and is a field notoriously underfunded & lacking in unbiased statistics & research. Most information about subjects like this come from psychiatrists who work with rehabilitating paedophiles & csa victims and how the cycles of abuse continue."

Someone already gave you an answer, so, respectfully, I'll just bring that up:

with all due respect, coping mechanisms are personal and often very very individualized. for some people, becoming desensitized to their trauma to reduce panic attacks is helpful. (myself, for example. couldn't even watch the news without panic attacks for years. needed desensitizing to function.) for others, the process required for desensitizing is too distressing to go through or not worth the potential payoff.

And, like... yeah basically that's it. There's other reasons that other CSA victims have talked about (helps them regain a feeling of control re: their trauma, allows them to explore the full range of emotions involved, etc), but yeah.

You can't just generalize this sort of thing. It's like saying EVERY depressed person takes the EXACT SAME medication, when we know that's not true and that individual people need personalized treatment.

Like, maybe it wouldn't have worked for you, and that's fine. But it did work for lots of other people - for me in particular, it helped me understand that I wasn't a terrible gross perv for having sexual thoughts early (like no shit you have sexual thoughts early) and I had a place where I could vent all sorts of dark feelings regarding sex.

As for your other point.... Yeah. I know there's no hard numbers. That kind of proves my point I was making. If you make definitive statements like this - like "people who write about age gap shit in fiction and are survivors are continuing/will continue the cycle of abuse", you're framing it like it has hard numbers but there's no real proof to that.

[lemonhemlock]

Hello! What do you think of alicent being physically harsh with ty tennant's aegon? She abuses him (it felt like that to me) and then tells aegon that his sister is a dangerous person (which she is), but at that point rhaenyra hasn't done anything, and otto is not there to advise her also but she sees rhaenyra rightly as a legitimate threat. Then when we come to tgc aegon it's like she forgot that her children's lives are in danger and fights more for rhaenyra than her own children. By then she has seen first hand how dangerous rhaenyra is with aemond, vaemond, laenor etc.

Also olivia had told somewhere that alicent is thinking in eggs coronation how rhaenyra will not reconcile with her anymore. I mean why would you care about rhaenyra then. I dont mind people having affection for childhood friends but when said friend doesn't give a shit about your kids or your own mental and physical well-being then it becomes really pathetic and an unhealthy obsesion.

Im saying I'm so confused why she keeps flip-flopping. Why the heck is she on rhaenyra's side when her kids are more into protecting her than rhaenyra. She even forced aegon to accept his crown when he said no. (If they make her poison him for rhaenyra, she will be just so terrible)

The writing is making me insane. I want to get some clarity and i thought to ask you since you have such well thought out responses. Sorry for such a long question.

hey there. thank you for having faith in my abilities to make sense of this mess. i do take it as a compliment that you guys think to come to me for help whenever you're confused by smth or pondering an issue. 💌

so, i hope you won't feel too upset, but i'm going to redirect you to the relevant tags as i've been ranting about this quite a lot already and would just end up repeating myself.

long story short: it's inconsistent writing. each episode usually had a different writer & director, each with their different take on the characters. that's fine and all, but something happened there bc the people in charge (miguel??) didn't do a good enough job to smooth things over chronologically and make sure everyone is on the same page and that the character developments are linear.

that's why alicent is antagonistic and out to get rhaenyra one episode, then the next episode she wants to be bffs. that's why the showrunners say one thing to the media, but the actors say another. look at this through the perspective that they're not going to come out having a go at each other in the press because that would be unprofessional. so we're never gonna find out what miguel actually did for sure and who's responsible for all this mixed messaging.

as for alicent being physically harsh with ty's aegon. she is, as you said, alone at court, experiencing first hand viserys' indulgence & favouritism towards rhaenyra + his unwillingness to sanction her even for grave illegalities*, so that only increases her paranoia that her children are going to suffer the consequences of this. on top of /that/, aegon himself doesn't take this seriously and she has just found out he also colludes with rhaenyra's children (the people who will order his execution in the future, but he's too blind to see it now) and bullies his own brother (aka the one he could actually trust and support, but instead alienates). she goes to viserys first but he ignores her concerns again.

so i think she just snaps in that moment and loses patience with aegon. him wanking in the middle of the day in the tommen window doesn't help his case. now, alicent is not a modern mother living in the 21st century, with a whole literature of child development & psychology at her disposal, therapists and specialists to guide her. she also has her own trauma to deal with, no help on that front either. she can't "educate" herself. she is not going to be gentle parenting aegon lol. she uses what tools she has at her disposal: first talking nicely, that doesn't work, then she starts yelling and grabs his face so that he'll listen, bc what else is she supposed to do? she literally isn't conceptually aware of any other way to get her message across

*again, that's placing your bastards in the line of succession against their trueborn relatives, not having bastards in the first place

[poetandwolf]

About

Look it, see the little wolf creature? That is ‘me’. She is also my OC and self insert with in the series. :D She’s one of his creations and yes they have a very heavy master/pet relationship, while I don’t get much into that here. Bare in mind it my come up. So soft block me you need to.

With that said; I am a real adult. I may talk about adult things here. If you are not comfortable with that do not follow. I am not your dad. I can not monitor your internet interactions. But block/flag/whatever you do with a ‘NSFW’ tag if that kind of thing makes you uncomfortable but you still want to follow me. I know the whole “minors do not follow” is not as enforceable as it SHOULD be and you kids are gonna do whatever you want- fuck the police. This is my first and only warning. lmao.

Second, I am like. Not.. ‘hip with the kids’. I do not know all the terms and I also can not monitor or be up to date what is.. ‘bad’ with in fandom. I also kind of don’t care, lol. If someone I reblog or someone who follows me did something you don’t like or don’t agree with it is not my responsibility to keep track of others actions.

The Basics:

Hey there, I'm Tala or Grunge, or whatever. I'm a real adult over the age of 35 (that's all your getting. I am probably old enough to be your weird crazy aunt/uncle.) My F/O and spirit husband is Alhaz!ad/Alhazre!d. I often call him “Al” here or “Aub”.

INFJ, Scorpio, I'm trans-masc, trans-male/ftm and stealth irl.

Trans rights are human rights, and Protect Trans Kids

I draw, a lot, and paint. My hobbies also include hiking, working on my house, gardening, landscaping, spending time with my family, cooking, reading, and writing. I do take commissions - so if you’d like me to draw or paint you f/o. Look at my commissions :}.

Metal health check; ADHD/ASD - dx’d, in the early 90s. iirc. Retested and diagnosed with ADHD in 2022. Currently seeking treatment for it. Medication has been like night and day for me. So, fellow Autistics and ADHD’s. Welcome. I am negativing them both and it’s been a TIME. There are sighs of OSDD/DID. I have tried talking again and again with therapists making 100% Al is not apart of that; while when channeling him the symptoms are similar; he doesn’t fit the criteria.

Some what of a witch, well. I kind of do what works for me. There are *plenty* of other witch based blogs you’d wanna follow for those resources. This blog is more or less centered around my relationship with Aub. (Alhazred/Alhazad).

Before any judgments here that I might be some loser living in my parent’s basement. ...lol. No. I’m a real adult doing well on my own with a whole ass house, job, and car and all that neat stuff. You can be ficto and be independent, free, and happy. It took a tonne of work to get this far. And it was worth every penny.

Uh... I’ll update this as I get time. yes yes.

DNI:

DNI: It should go with out saying; MAPS, pedos, zoos, Nazis, TERFS, and any else of the sort. Nope. :|  If you're a HP fan and still support Robert you can go get fucked.

I'm also mildly scarred/due to trauma and it's hard to see DBZ (the saiyans), FF9, or PPG. I’m not saying *your* versions of said characters are bad, it’s just ahahaha.

System hoping is a grey area; you do what works for you. But-....if you are gonna come into my DM or Asks telling me how Aub visited you and did this and that and some bullshit magical adventure or slept with you or is involved in some astral war. I will block you and he will personally make your life a living hell. Don't do that shit to me, or anyone else for that matter.

[horce-divorce]

ppl are always asking me how my parents love me so much AND don't want anything to do w taking care of me. And I don't know. Sometimes I tell myself "it's ok, my parents are older than my friends parents and they do a lot, I'm an adult, etc...."

But then like. Idk.

I sit in the kitchen for HOURS trying to eat and prepare my food. It takes me so much effort and I visibly struggle with it every single day. my mom doesn't like to eat so she just ignores this. Today I have been sat in the kitchen for hours following minor facial surgery. My diet is even further restricted right now bc I can't chew. I'm Terrified of not eating because it only takes a couple of hours to crash once I stop. Tomorrow will be rough.

I tried to explain this and ask for her opinion about what I should eat/not eat in the AM. She kept shooting down all my ideas just like.... Getting visibly annoyed. and then she was like "idk I ate soup when I had mine out. I'm tired we'll troubleshoot in the morning." And really she's only even in that mindset bc dad has COVID and she's feeding him anyway.

Meanwhile I got on the phone w my friend who I hadn't talked to or seen in months the other day and I made an offhand comment about how hard eating and meal planning is right now. And she IMMEDIATELY started googling a soft food diet and sending me ideas and spitballing w me. Like it makes me cry. Tbf my friend is also a mom of 4 kids but like. My own mom doesn't care if I eat because she doesn't care if SHE eats. Ykw i mean. Like idk that does hurt my feelings. And she needs to eat too.

It's not like she's NEVER there for me I mean she drove me to get my teeth knocked out, she went back to Walgreens 4 times in the same day to make sure me and dad meds, she cares an awful lot about like, if I live. But she is sooooo hands off about my health in general. She really only goes back into Mom Mode when I'm having an emergency, and even at the ER it kinda felt like it was all about her.

My therapist has been bugging me to talk to her Abt it bc I want to... Like, I'm in too poor of health right now to have indifferent housemates. I need help. But I also know for fact my mom does not want to give it. I know that in reality you "don't stop being a parent after 18 years" but like idk she really has kinda said "I ain't doing that shit." I can't make her stop being scared of my emotions/health. I can't make her stop feeling guilty.

She just doesn't wanna be involved. And yeah the more my health declines the more that kinda rubs in the attachment trauma we have to begin with lol. when I turned 12 and started getting horrific periods, dysphoria, and suicidal ideation her response was...."no you don't!" And to remove me from my support system, and to deny me medical care. I don't. BLAME her bc she couldn't have known better. I don't hold a grudge. But that HURTS. That trauma was life defining for me and the fact that she still can't even handle the mere idea that I'm not perfectly healthy, at 30, is....not building our relationship idk.

But now it's all on me. It's my job to bring it up if we ever wanna heal this. I don't know how. I don't know how.

[muzzled-kelevra]

Thank you so much for your response! It's nice to know what happened to the blog! I thought it got banned or something tbh

And yeah, I don't really know why the whole thing happened, I guess maybe it was just hormones and him discovering his body and wanting to do something with it? Like how kids discover they have private parts and touching them feels good so they keep doing it you know? It's really hard to wrap my head around but it feels so simple at the same time if that makes sense (also he was only like a year younger than me, I should clarify that, so he was probably 7-8 and I was most likely 8-9)

But I'd like to hear your experience too if you're comfortable sharing, it's nice in a disturbing and like saddening way to realise that other people have gone through that too. If that makes sense? Like you said it helps us/me feel less alone

No worries! Sorry for the scare about it, Tumblr's always been kind of intimidating and it's an iffy thing with my parents lol. If I ever do delete the blog or my account, I'd definitely say something and give it time before I do, and maybe socials in case people wanted to find me elsewhere.

And, I see. Hmm.. it could be a lot of different reasons, but my advice is to try not to dwell on the what ifs and motifs and stuff that was and is out of your control. I'm sure everyone falls into the rabbit hole but shouldn't always chase the rabbit, yk?

And I completely get what you mean. It feels validating to me when others can relate though it does make me feel guilty and sad and stuff cause like "someone has this trauma too? noo 😭"

BELOW CUT — TW: COCSA? (nothing in depth)

Anyway,, yeah when I was around 13 (them as well), one of my cousins (who had previously been abused in foster care) tried to get romantic with me a lot. They'd say things like "If we weren't family I would date you" etc. Hugs lasted too long, yk, usually stuff you'd see in a relationship. Nothing in depth ever happened but I didn't realize it was bad until my parents stepped in and I had several online friends tell me that wasn't okay. Looking back, I moreso feel ashamed of myself and very grossed out, but I try to keep in mind that it was a negative outlet for them and I don't think either of us saw the issue. Benefit of the doubt, I suppose. We don't talk anymore and I like to keep it that way considering they've done worse to their siblings (who have vented to me before); but I moved on from that by generally talking about it with my therapist. I still have trauma from it but to me at this point it's moreso a "It happened, I can't change that, it's time to move on" situation.

To be fair I also have a lot of dissociation so I might also have emotional amnesia from it.

Best luck to you though. You're valid in your feelings and I hope you heal!

[slothrusts]

hi sorry childhood trauma under the cut just gotta vent for a sec!

historically my mom has just completely avoided ever even vaguely mentioning or referencing the David Times™️ (when we were still living w bio dad) and for a lot of the super serious shit my brother was too young to remember so I’ve kind of been feeling like a lone survivor without any evidence to back me up and it just makes you feel a bit crazy!!

I’ll be telling stories to my therapist and I’m like did that really happen though? I don’t know ! Am I just making stuff up? I don’t know! I can’t tell! I don’t think I am! But it has never been discussed anywhere else with anyone else so it’s really hard to tell!

Anyway this weekend my mom randomly decided to break her silence I guess (though I did kind of press her) because they were talking about the rising crime rates in the city (🙄 they watch Fox News) and I was like hey mom didn’t we literally live on East colfax in a motel when we first moved here? And she didn’t respond at first but I was like no I will have a confirmation on this god dammit so I asked again and she finally said yes! And like actually where!!! And my dad (stepdad, very nice guy tho) was like holy shit y’all lived there??? That’s the worst place in the city! And my mom had a little dam breaking moment and spilled a lot of stuff that I was like I KNEW THAT HAPPENED but just had never heard anyone else talk about and it was actually really nice to have it validated by another source? I mean my mom isn’t a great source she’s also a mess but like just having another human being be like yes I was there and it did indeed happen was so so so validating.

Like yes David was using drugs intravenously instead of watching us kids! Yes my mom was the only one who could work and had to leave us there so she could at least afford to keep us somewhere that had a roof! Yes at the age of 5 I was responsible for taking care of my infant brother when David was high (though sometimes the sex workers helped look out for us when they weren’t also dealing w their own shit, they were very kind)! Yes I had to eat so much god damn puffed wheat cereal from the food bank! God that shit is nasty. And yes my mom left David cause he would beat the shit out of all of us and she remembered growing up w her dad doing that to her mom and she was like “ok well I’m not going to be the best mother ever but I can at least be better than my parents in this way”

This must be how scientists feel when their hypothesis is proven correct or something lol

[sweeethinny]

Honestly the more I remember about Molly from the books I start to think she's not that great of a mother, she dismisses trauma that the kids especially her own daughter went through, constantly compared her kids to each other and disapproved of alot of their choices like Bill's appearance and choice of spouse, Charlies job, and Fred and Georges lifes ambition and tried to baby Harry who arguably is the person who should have been told everything. I just can't really see her as a great mother yes she was good sometimes but she really dropped the ball on alot of really important things.

look ... this is difficult, because ... I don't know if you, anon, already had to actively participate in the creation of a child, because I already, and it left me traumatized lol

I took care of my niece for a whole year, where I was the main reference for her, since my sister worked all day and she woke up already with me, and went to sleep at home. And I’ll tell you, it is very difficult to create a human being.

I cried a lot this year, I almost went crazy, there were days when I sat on the floor and cried thinking that I did everything wrong, so my niece did not have lunch and I thought about the videos of mums I saw, and talking about how their children slept early and ate vegetables, and I thought I was the worst aunt in the world

the best contraceptive ever LOL

but, it’s worth remembering, now talking about Molly, that we don’t see her as a mother, we see her through Harry’s eyes, who sees her almost as a… a maternal figure, but not so much so, we don’t know what she’s like, when Harry isn’t around

but yes, she fails sometimes, like anyone else, but my problem goes directly to JK, now, because she didn’t give Molly the opportunity to be human

JK stuck it in our throats that Molly was the ruler of the family, but at no time did we think about how Arthur didn't go to help his children, how he also failed with Percy's situation, with Bill when he didn't help him with the Fleur issue. Everything fell for Molly to do. Molly needed to raise 7 children, basically alone since Arthur needed to work, and deal with their drama, and I think about how it made her not see her children as individuals, but as a part of her, another member.

It is very difficult to create human beings and think of them as unique human beings, and as I said before, in general, JK does not know how to write about the development of a teenager, especially in situations where she puts these teenagers

No family in HP is structured, and the Weasleys are the most structured family we see.

Hermione's parents basically don't see their daughter, like, ever, since she spends all her holidays with Ron in almost every book. They literally send the girl to spend weeks at the home of a boy they *don't* know. (please, my mom didn’t like me to be away from home for more than 3 days, and she knows my best friend’s parents even before I was born!)

The Dursleys? In addition to all the problems with Harry, they also see Dudley as a part of them, and not as an individual with wants and desires

Luna's father? Surrounded the girl in the world that was comfortable for him -probably- not having to deal with the idea that Luna saw her mother die.

Neville's grandmother saw him as an extension of the boy's parents, who were going crazy at the hospital

The Malfoys? they also saw Draco as their extension, not as an individual

Honestly, Molly did a great job, if you think she basically did it on her own - not that Arthur didn't help, but JK doesn't show us moments where it is he who takes on the responsibilities, so that Molly leaves the role mother job and can breathe in peace!

Raising a child is too difficult, and today, thinking about the entire collection of articles about therapists talking about raising a child / teenager and everything around it, JK did a poorly done job, developing that side of the story

[thisispoggers]

I do not want to make another post regarding Tadashi's death lol! It's also one of the many reasons why I don't like Tadashi being Sunfire, because you know, trauma... Being the literal personification of fire after being inside one, I don't think Tadashi could even function properly (I'm also guilty with putting Tadashi in the team, hehehehe, its too bad that I really lost interest in the fic as I was writing.)

This is actually so long omg. Entire answer under the cut

(Cut)

The Tadashi team ones can actually work but really not in the usual way that most of the fanfic writers would think (because I got thsi idea from one fanfic writer who did a great job but I'm sorry I can't remember the name)

Because they considered how Tadashi is willing to put his life on the line for Hiro (him joining makes sense cuz Hiro is really stubborn) even if he came out broken but what about Hiro??

I sincerely doubt he would ever let lose the fact that he has a hero group and even less the chance of him letting Tadashi join in their hero work. Like that shit is crazy dangerous (ngl I'm starved of Protective Hiro content who am I kidding)

For it to make sense to me is when Tadashi volunteers to be their engineer (not my idea) , the one in charge of making their robotic equipments.

Cuz that would give him a way to keep track of all of them, I trust his wrinkly brain to come up with a tracking device in case of kidnapping events

And he is Baymax's Creator so upgrades are definitely on the table and Baymax's self improving AI makes it easy. But I'm not smart enough to do big brained schematics like other fanfic writers lmao

And also keeps Hiro calm knowing his brother is out of harms way and in an unknown location but pretty sure Tadashi is usually the one who is more scared cuz Hiro is in the front lines

The Sunfire fanfics that makes the most sense to me are the ones where Tadashi usually freak out whenever flames come out from his hands lol

Mainly cuz that makes the most sense to me considering the fact fire almost catapulted him straight his parents' arms

The fact he has to learn how to control the one thing that almost killed him and has the misfortune of said thing being extremely unpredictable????

God speed my man, the Sunfire fanfics don't do your amateur hours justice

But like the ones where they showcased his great control over his powers are great tho ngl it is hella cool to see the man flexing his ability

Tho the little details where Tadashi would flare up a bit when his emotions are out of control makes sense but I kinda speculated him to be a bit more in control of his emotions and thoughts.

Because if that man managed to be this happy-go-lucky after losing his parents, having the responsibility of raising a kid, going through puberty, and studying in college??? Not to mention the trauma he experienced during the fire and the car???

It's either he got a will stronger than steel or a therapist with superpowers

Or Aunt Cass cuz let's be real the woman would strangle bears for her nephews and I consider that a fact point blank

[whumphoarder]

hi! sorry if you already have a rec list for this, but do you have any outsider pov fics? like i read this one series with peters physics teacher which was super cool so if u know of any others kinda like that or of civilians that spidey has helped? i also super enjoyed ur school nurse one lol

Five Time Faculty Members Had to Call Peter's Emergency Contact + 1 Time He Shows Up Anyway by kingdomfaraway

“Peter,” Jim started, “if you’re more comfortable with your Aunt, we can reschedule for another time.”

“Nonsense,” Tony said, speaking before Peter could. “She’s a very busy woman, I, on the other hand, have all the time in the world.”

Jim kept eye contact with Peter, who just nodded. “It’s fine, I’m sure he would show up anyway…”

Tony gave a very smug grin to both Peter and then to Jim.

Everyday Superhero by stoneage_woman

When a field trip to Stark Industries ends in disaster, Roger Harrington finds himself faced with an impossible choice. Suddenly, Tony Stark is shoving an NDA in his face while Peter Parker stares at him with terrified, desperate eyes. Nothing in his 13-year teaching career could have prepared Harrington for this, but he knows one thing for sure: ten years ago, he'd stared down into the sightless eyes of a seventeen-year-old girl, and he'd sworn to himself that he would never again lose another student. He's going to do everything in his power to keep that promise now…even if it costs him everything.

Set during and post Spider-Man Homecoming. A realistic field trip story that also explores the long-term consequences of trauma and responsibility, written by a real-life teacher.

Big Secrets, And Other Things To Talk To Your Therapist About by Aimael

How Dr Lauren McKinley, psychologist, randomly acquired not one, but two new clients of the superhero kind, because she was a little too curious to say no.

Mutants by sameuspegasus

All teachers dread parent-teacher night. This one's worse than usual.

Feat. Boundaries? I don't know this word. He's not my boyfriend! Flash Thompson's A+ parents Tony and Peter are enormous nerds Gym class is important Oh my God, what's that in the bio lab

IM Spotter by Gyptian

Floriana has headed up the IM Spotter club, New York branch for years, in a certain cafe with a very good view of Stark Tower. Never has she dreamed of having such a special guest, however.

Open for Business by @opal-earrings

Jake likes his night shift at the gas station in the middle of nowhere because nothing ever happens. The only reason he took the job is because nothing ever happens.

But then something actually does. A teenager comes in covered in blood and asking to use his phone, and somehow that’s not the strangest thing that's going to happen during his shift tonight.

research and disaster by blueh

The interns at Stark Industries have some questions about Peter Parker. The answers aren’t quite what they expect.

A Good Kid by kuragay

Ricky thinks that May's an exceptional woman, and he thinks that Peter's an exceptional kid. But there's no denying that the Parker household is full of mysteries, and most of them are centered around Peter and his supposed internship with Tony Stark.

“Is that a cat?” (no, it’s a kitten.) by zimnokurw

Mel, intern of Stark Industries founds a kitten, but if she wants to help her, she have to take Molly (yeah, so she named her already, problem?) to the company. But that's only four hours so nobody will even notice anything! Well, a kid noticed. And FRIDAY, and then Mr. Hogan and Dr. Stark. And suddenly she's screwed. Or is she?

When In Doubt, Blame Spider-Man by @ambivalentmarvel

Peter finds a ten-year-old friend out in the cold near his group home and decides to take action.

Peter Parker: Intern Cryptid by Karu_Ambrogio

The 5 college level interns, who actually interacted with Tony Stark himself on occasion, would be jealous of the 16 year old Peter Parker appearing from nowhere and being the obvious favorite if they weren't so busy being terrified by him.

Progress Report by sameuspegasus

Ms. Warren has some questions for Tony Stark regarding the exact nature of Peter's internship. She gets invited to the lab to see for herself.

Love, hate on by @madasthesea

She’d planned for this moment for two years, seven months, and eighteen days: As she’d stood above her daughter’s freshly dug grave, she’d decided that Tony Stark would die by her hand. And now was her moment.

She had only intended to grab Stark, tell him what he’d done that merited the punishment she was going to give, and kill him fast before anyone started looking. But here was this kid, an act of providence.

She didn’t have to tell Stark now, she could show him. She could make him suffer like she’d suffered, make him pay for his crimes. An eye for an eye, a child for a child.

Should’ve Stuck with Bed, Bath & Beyond by @whumphoarder

Having recently quit a high-stress job at the local ER, Patrick Carmichael—the rookie nurse at Midtown School of Science and Technology—is ready to settle into a nice quiet life of handing out band-aids and ice packs and collecting students’ mandatory sports physical forms.

Unfortunately, he's about to meet Peter Parker.

[purge-that-urge-rhackathon]

Spoons? What spoons?

Hi yall! Been meaning to check in for a while :3 put under a read more cuz goddamn it has been a while.

SO when last we met LOLOL or some other opener... xD

Dad

Dad’s doing as well as can be expected. His brain is more or less getting back to normal (mom says its not; I told her she’s just seeing him for the first time proper and all the cruel shit he’s saying/doing is very much in-character for him when he’s not always stoned, but thanks to therapy I have the words and stuff to communicate all that abusive shit to her now; I love him but I hate him but we’ll touch on that xD). He’s had three amputations so far and he’s developed osteomyelitis (bone infection) so he’s been doing 2hr ‘dives’ in the Hyperbaric chamber every other day to fight it up to 10 dives. I’m told its $200,000 treatment which their new health insurance is fully paying for cuz one surgery already hit the $20,000 premium (don’t even get me started on THAT fight I had to do to get them signed up so we’d still have a place to live- they don’t ‘believe’ in insurance cuz they dont know shit... lawsuits are still pending and will be for the next 2-3yrs i expect). So... yeah. Mom has stepped up with a lot of stuff and she’s better educated on it all too thank fuck.

Thank fuck for therapy

The entire time dad’s stuff has been taking place, I’ve been attempting therapy, which was never explained to me properly/offered of ‘why am i here’ sort of thing, soooo about 4months (5-6 sessions of 30min therapy) turned out to be a COMPLETE waste of time. I’m on mediCal and the clinic they assigned me to only deals with mild-moderate trauma and can only see me for max. of six months when most patients make an improvement. Asking the therapist when we’d actually get to the trauma and triggers and all the other shit I’ve been pursuing therapy for two years over resulted in some clarity and I’ve been putting off making the phone call X_X My therapist only deals with singular trauma, and she said I have complex/multiple trauma with PTSD, and there’s no possible way (in my opinion and hers as well) I’d get any modicum of ‘better’ in six months cuz I’m too damaged, so like... that’s fun to know. I’ve been living in denial about my quality of life for decades and hearing it from a professional has considerably destroyed my sense of self (as it should tbh cuz these rose colored glasses are made of broken bottles LOL). Everything about myself revolves around survival tactics so I’m kind of floundering about living in lies (cuz coming to terms with trauma you’ve convinced yourself doesn’t actually bother you too much will do that, and ‘fawning’ is apparently one of the flight/fight responses and hardcore how i’ve lived these past decades) sooooo that’s what I’m dealing with and it’s super painful to come to terms with. If you’ve ever had to eat fast-food ketchup packets cuz you’re so hungry as a child and there’s nothing else you can have and they’re free, WELP then you might have a very very small window of what my quality of life has been like (: and me and my sister just thought we were fat kids for always being hungry constantly LOL

Also thank fuck for brain medication

On the good news end, I’ve officially been medicated just over 2months for my adhd :D I’m on atomoxetine (strattera) and it’s COMPLETELY gotten rid of my executive dysfunction, I can get up in the morning regardless of how much sleep I’ve gotten, and I have much more energy and motivation to do stuff :) My medication isn’t a stimulant but works on the adrenal glands (which I suspected from various other body ailments might be the source of a LOT of my problems-- especially the chronic fatigue- and if the meds took them away, then I was right, and they did, so.... adrenal gland fixer yay!) and anyways it’s improved life a lot. It gives me goosebumps sometimes too which is funny but I’m real happy with it. If anyone has any questions, I’ve always been a loud mouth irl about my disorders in order to be visible and unashamed for others, and I’ve helped a lot of peers irl with mental bullshit and I’m always willing to pay it forward! :)

The doom and gloom stuff xD

I’m trying to get back into writing. Desperately. I spend time at night writing a couple of sentences when it’s quiet, but then I usually pass out in five minutes cuz tbh I don’t really sleep anymore and I haven’t since dad’s accident so progress on my creative endeavors is going very very slow. Lord knows I have the fucking time rn. I’ve been getting one shift a week at work since June cuz there’s NO hours, so I’m freaking out about money (i’m probably gonna open commissions again), and my life, and my age, and how I’ll never get out of fucking debt at this rate, and how I’m so fucking mentally fucked cuz I can’t do two/three jobs with my fucking adhd and shit, and I want to move out but I can’t live with other people cuz of the aforementioned trauma/distrust and it’s not like anywhere is affordable anyways in this hell country soooo. Yeah. I’m at the point of taking out balance transfers from credit cards to deposit cash into my bank account cuz i can’t fucking survive otherwise and I guess I’ll figure that out next month. I joke around but are any of you an escort/have you done that kind of work before/could I ask questions? >_> I need options. If I could sell an organ for about $25k i’d just do that but i AM desperate and I’m open to any and all suggestions for quick cash no matter how demeaning. Can’t demean someone who’s used to it all their life! :D Real talk tho i’m not kidding, if anyone could point me to some resources, DM me :|

So yeah that’s what’s up in a nutshell. Really REALLY wanna write and finish some shit... existential dread and basic survival is getting in the way of that. Bear with me though, it’s been a very very tough year but nothing has been abandoned and I’m definitely around. Just rarely have the spoons to do shit :D

[poison-bimbo]

I’ve taken a break from tumblr because there has been so much going on in my life.

But knowing that telling my deepest emotions/feelings to the unknown abyss that tumblr is helps me express myself, so here I am.

If any of this post resonates with you, please like or re-blog it as it helps me know that I’m not going through this alone.

This passage is my story, the story I’ve never fully told, the story which has caused me so much trauma and has profoundly hurt me.

This is my story.

At the start of this year I turned 18, and tbh it was honestly one of my worst birthdays. Everyone in my family was in a shitty mood and was yelling at me, telling me they wish I wasn’t here and it was an effort to get them to even come to my party. I can’t express enough how much this hurt me as I have a sister who is 2 years older than me and when it was her 18th everyone wore rose-tinted glasses and gave her the perfect birthday. The issue is that there is a clear divide between how my family treats my sister and how they treat me. My friends and other people who are not apart of the family have noticed this, and agree with me that there is a clear difference with how they treat her and me. In 2019 I found out that my dad cheated on my mum with multiple women, what makes this worse is that I found the messages. My mum was overseas at the time and I had to hold on to this information for 3 months until she returned, if you couldn’t tell, holding onto that kind of information without being able to tell anyone was hell. So after 3 months of legit hell I told my mum and my sister (I would come to regret this decision.) My sister who don’t forget is older than me, would carry on and used dad cheating on mum as a way to get attention. So mum took her to therapy, gave her massages before she went to be each night (I know wtf), would make her breakfast in bed, buy her whatever she wants. Meanwhile, me who actually found the messages and held on to them for 3 months and didn’t have anyone to talk to was left in the dust, mum never asked me if I wanted a therapist, never made me breakfast in bed or took me on shopping sprees. The point is that I never felt supported for going through that shit, and when I asked mum why she hasn’t asked if I’m ok she said “because your sister is a girl and girls need more support then men do.” This honestly didn’t surprise me because it’s true that men are normally left in the dark when it comes to mental crisis’s. When mum told dad that she knew about what he did the stupid bitch told him “your son found the messages” putting me in danger and shifting the responsibility for me to deal with it. He never accepted what he did or even acknowledges it, except for the time when he said ‘I did it because your a bastard child’. Mum just goes about her life as if it never happened and try’s to forget about it. Whenever I bring it up and ask her to do something or tell him to apologise to the family or just move out she just says “I don’t want to speak about it, are you trying to hurt me?” To which I always reply “No, but don’t you understand? you pretending that it never happened, hurts me so deeply because your basically disregarding what I went through and how much pain it caused me.” So basically moving forward to now and mum still pretends it never happened. She still doesn’t care when I tell her it hurts me when she ignores the issue, and that it says to me that what I went through is irrelevant.

For the first time today I’ve realised that what is going on at home constantly is domestic violence. I used to think that domestic violence is just for physical assault but upon calling lifeline (a hotline for when you have no one else to tell) the emergency support therapist informed me domestic/family violence includes verbal and mental abuse, and from what I told her she said “I’m definitely being mentally and verbally abused. If you are still skeptic about the severity of what I’m going through here are a few things I have been told by my parents in my lifetime:

“Just because we’re genetically related doesn’t mean that I’m your dad or want you as a son” -Dad

After telling mum that I was being bullied profusely and the school wasn’t taking action she replied “the school is always right” -Mum

“We should of never had you” -Dad

“You’re the reason I cheated” -Dad

When I felt so alone and wanted to K!ll myself I told mum “If you don’t change and start being more attentive and actually listen to what is going on in my life I will k!ll myself.” To which she replied “you could never do it” and never followed up how I was going.

My parents and grandparents paid for my sister move out of home after she finished high-school and bought her a $3000 dog to “keep her company” (wasn’t her birthday.) They pay her bills and rent (She’s 20 lol.) So I asked my parents and grandparents if they would do the same and they said no.

There is so much shit going on in my life between having family violence during lockdowns, lockdowns, bullying, mental abuse, feeling isolated and just feeling not wanted. But I’m still here because I have a purpose now, to prove them wrong, to prove I’m not going to let them win, to prove that I’m stronger than they will ever be.

This is my Story

Thank you for taking the time to read this passage, please if you or anyone else is going through anything similar and are struggling with finding support please don’t hesitate to call these numbers (Australia-only):

Lifeline 13 11 14

Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636

Suicide callback service 1300 659 467

The MindSpot Clinic 1800 61 44 34

Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800

Free, private and confidential 24/7 phone and online counselling service for young people aged 5 to 25

[normal-thoughts-official]

Warlock society! I wanted to add but didn't know if it was okay to reblog and add. I also think given the history of warlock children like Magnus being abused, maybe dedicated groups of warlocks band together to identify, locate and keep track of new warlocks. I feel like ley lines and all that must be affected when someone new taps into them. Like just high warlocks taking newly realized warlocks under their wings and getting used to their new powers.

i really can't stress enough that it's always okay to reblog and add to any of my posts. few things make me happier. i love excuses to talk more. i mean hear your thoughts. udhasiuhdasih no but really tho, both, i just love talking about this and seeing your responses and ideas and aaaa

i absolutely agree with you! it was really so unrealistic in sh how so many groups of oppressed ppl who went through such similar kinds of trauma didn't organize at all or build any form of mutual supporting networks or social programs or ANYTHING.... wtf are these bitches doing all day lol pls guys of course they would organize collectively (not just "i personally want to help other people", really organize and have some level of structure. i'm not saying something absolutely amazing cuz that would require lots of resources and there's a war and stuff but at least a little something c'mon) 

and yeah it was pretty much implied that warlocks can feel each other too because magnus said that he knew dot was dead because he couldn't feel her magic so like? presumably when a new warlock is born they should be able to tell because of the sudden surge of magic? i mean maybe it's more diffuse than that as there are millions of warlocks and so their different magical signatures can only be told apart when they already know it and are looking for it, but still. maybe children of more powerful demons are easier to find since their magic is stronger too... but anyway okay i can buy that it's not like "ping! a new warlock is here!" but there's gotta be a way to track, right? 

and i just ugh i'd love to see warlocks combining magic and technology to do that, you know? especially cuz dicks out for genius magnus as usual (hell, even genius madzie if they only get into that project later on!!) and god it would be just amazing to see them all working together to make sure they can find other warlock kids and make sure they are well supported and don't have to go through the pain that they did, you know? idk something to monitor magical signatures in the ley lines and locate frequencies (?) that they haven't seen before? since you know it's implied that every magical signature is unique. maybe they even find a way to do that without having to register every warlock's magical signature as that could be dangerous, just like, anonymous data that tells apart the frequencies and is able to point when a new one surges... yeah

and just, therapy in general? i know i've slutted too much about warlock therapists in general but i really would love to see warlocks that dedicate themselves to specific fields of science applied to magical creatures... like doctors, teachers, therapists (god knows everyone in the shadow world needs them), historians, and just any "humanities" field you can think of. the possibilities of fields of study and shit they could specialize in!

and also like, addiction support groups for vampires, since they are so likely to get addicted to human blood (both because of biology and circumstances, you know, being suddenly completed isolated like that is the easiest way to turn to addiction as a means to cope), support groups for them to talk about their trauma, support groups for newly turned ppl to talk about their struggles, schools of magic and history and all those fields i was talking about.... just so much they could do to make the downworld really its own place and society and not just the margins of society, but a culture with real people and issues and organization.... aaaaaaaaa what i wouldn't give to get that tbh

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #304

“she’s got a hold on me  /  maybe she is just what they want me to be”

How many foreign friends do you have? Only one that I know of that actually immigrated into America in their life. I think. In which countries do they live? She was born in Asia, either China or Japan. What was your dream birthday party as a kid? I either wanted to go to the skating rink or Chuck E. Cheese. Have you ever come up with your own game? As a kid, definitely. Whose hand did you hold last? Probably my niece's or nephew's if they were taking me somewhere. What was the last thing you planted? Habaneros, I think. Do you have a green thumb or are you all thumbs with plants? I don't really try with plants because I'm not interested in the maintenance. What or who was the last thing you gossiped about? Does telling your therapist about another person and what they do to stress you out count? lol Any books on your night stand? Wings of Fire: The Brightest Night. Would you ever consider going vegetarian? I was briefly one, but I had to introduce meat back into my diet because I just hate too many foods needed to keep me healthy without meat. I would love love LOVE to go vegan, but I just can't. When's the last time you helped a senior citizen somehow? Probably holding open a door for someone in a wheelchair. What's the most selfless act you have done? I don't know... Maybe letting my mother use all my Christmas and birthday money (which was a lot) to take care of bills to keep us from being evicted and losing the car. She was going to pay me back, but then cancer happened. Have you ever intentionally fed a house spider? No. What makes you feel lucky? The fact I have a roof over my head, food on the table, access to water... That kind of stuff. Never take it for granted. How many Lidls are there in your town? One. Last time you went to Ikea, what did you buy? I don't believe we've ever bought anything from there? But I wouldn't really know. How do you like your favorite beverage? Really cold in a can, heeeeell yeah. What's your big family secret? We don't really have one. What did you think you were good at, until you saw someone else do it? I remember thinking I was the "gifted" artist in school until I met my acquaintance Cailin in the 5th grade, lol. She is SO talented. What is something nice going on in your life right now? My partial hospitalization program is going well. I'm getting more comfortable with talking via things like Zoom, it's a good opportunity for me to socialize with like-minded people almost every day, and I ADORE one of the teachers so much so that I want him to be my normal therapist. I have never in the entirety of my life felt less judged and more cared for from any therapist before him, and it's almost supernatural how easily this man reads people. You could twitch a certain way and he picks it up. I'm ready for him to teach more of the sessions. What was the pinnacle of wealth to you as a child? The idea of owning one of those toy crane machines, haha. If I saw one in a store, I would like beeeeg for it. I remember I cried once when I came across one I adored, it was just too expensive, lol. I did eventually get a little one, I think. What's something that you hate, but can't live without? My meds. What skill do you not talk about, because you feel it sounds like bragging? I don't really brag about anything I think I'm good at because I feel bad about it and don't wanna emit a "better than you" vibe. Who's the worst person you've encountered on the Internet? Ahhh, a lovely "friend" nicknamed Shakes. God she hated me. If death wasn't a consequence, what would you try? Probably ride a motorcycle. I'm too scared to risk the possibility of crashing, and those wrecks are nasty. What's the dumbest thing you've heard someone say? There's this one video of a TV show host thinking the moon was a planet and it was just- What is the worst smell you can remember? This smell was forever branded into my memory as if it was fuckin trauma. When my late dog Teddy had a massive, infected cyst near his ~you know~ and also wore diapers because of incontinence with his age (also keep in mind he had a UTI we couldn't afford to fix, and that smells bad enough), changing the diaper he would wear overnight could, swear to God, be enough to make you puke. It literally came to a point that I personally could no longer do it. It sounds so so bad and selfish, and it probably is, but Mom had to do it before she left and came home from work; she's way less fazed by stuff like that than me. Yes, when we had the money, we got the cyst removed. What song gets better the louder it gets? Only like, every song I enjoy. The louder the better until it becomes obnoxious to others. What's the biggest inconvenience that does NOT ruin your day? Having to pee at like an unnatural frequency? haha What's something everybody should know how to do? Cook... which I don't know how to do. What is a great movie no one knows about? I'unno. I don't really know the success level of most movies unless you see stuff about it everywhere. What type of person could the world use less of? Rapists, pedophiles, monsters like that. What makes you tingle? I have this odd reaction to rubbing my hand while someone is holding it???? idk why????? What’s the best Wi-Fi name you’ve seen? Oh MAN, I wish I could remember 'em all. I've seen some goodies. What's easy to learn, but hard to master? God, it's pathetic that my immediate response is related to a video game, haha. Then again it's such a common idea that it's basically a meme in the World of Warcraft community. So, playing hunters in the game. They're argued to be one of the - if not the - easiest classes in the game that requires little to no skill, while as a hunter main, I disagree with the second part firmly. I don't know about the other specializations because I don't play them, but at least in beast mastery, it takes focus and thinking ahead to master your rotation for optimal damage and just to generally be a skilled player of the class. Not to mention you need to watch your pet(s), too. What's something you've changed your opinion on? Wow, LOTS. Tons of political ideas, like my stance on gay rights, transgender folks, etc... If you had a refilling bowl, what would you want it to contain? For some reason my mind immediately jumped to fresh strawberries. I'm picky with the firmness of fruit, so I won't eat them if they're older because ew. If your bedroom had three portals to anywhere, where would they lead? I mean this in the least creepy way possible, but Sara's house so we could actually hang out, Dad's house so I could see him more, and then uhhh South Africa to regularly see meerkitties. You can ask any author one question about their story. What do you ask? Oh, I dunno. I've got some for writers of other media, but I guess by "author," you mean this is for books exclusively. If you have caffeine late in the day, does it cause you to struggle with your sleep? Shit, I wouldn't even know because I essentially always have caffeine in my system. I don't believe it affects me. When you struggle to sleep, what do you do instead? Keep trying to sleep, or more common than not, I do exactly what you shouldn't do and get back on the laptop for a while. Who was the last person you spoke to for the first time? How did you come to speak to this person? My most recent therapist in the PHP. I love love love him. The therapists rotate the days they teach, and he was the last one I met. Are there any TV shows from your childhood that you still watch today? I'm not opposed to it if I actually watched television. Do you enjoy buying gifts for other people, or do you never know what to buy them? If I actually have the money to, omg yes. I honestly do think I create or buy very thoughtful gifts, and I just really enjoy reminding other people that I love and think about them. Who were you with the last time you went out for a meal? My sisters, Mom, and I went to the Cheesecake Factory for my birthday dinner. That place has come to oust Olive Garden as my favorite restaurant, haha. What’s the last thing you watched on TV? Is this a programme you watch regularly? I believe it was this amateur cooking show called Nailed It!, I think it was, with my mom when I sat in the living room with her for dinner one night. Do you have a favorite documentary subject (eg. nature, celebrities, history, crime)? Absolutely animals. Does having to wear a mask stop you from doing anything, just because you dislike them or find them uncomfortable? Do not fucking talk to me if you're anti-mask. If I set foot in public, I'm wearing a mask like a goddamn considerate human being. Do you prefer zip-up or overhead hoodies? Overhead. I really dislike the appearance of zippers on them. If you have a yard or garden, how much time do you spend out there? N/A When was the last time someone bought you flowers? What was the occasion? I think it was the first time Tyler came to my house. This was quite a few years ago. When was the last time you stayed overnight away from home? Was this with friends, family or in a hotel somewhere? What was the occasion? Hell, I'm pretty sure I haven't slept over anywhere since the last time I was visiting Sara, which was like, two years ago. What’s your favorite period to learn about in history? What got you interested in this particular era? The Renaissance; I always found it to be an attractive subject, art being in its "glory days" and all. My Art History course in college really hooked me in. What is the smallest thing you lose your temper over instantly? Homophobic bullshit. What's a job that doesn't get enough respect? As others have said before me, teachers might just top the list. The shit they gotta put up with for so little pay... What did you take for granted until you visited another country? I've never left America, so I wouldn't know. Who is your favorite scientist and why? I don't have a favorite; I don't know nearly enough about any. Do you prefer emoticons or emoji? I'm from the emoticons era, so I'm biased, haha. How did you meet your pet? Roman was the kitten of one of my sister's mother-in-law's females. They have quite a cat problem and wanted to adopt the kittens out, and Mom knew I desperately wanted a cat, so there we go. One day when we were over there, she showed me the kittens, and Roman caught my eye instantly with his beautiful blue eyes. Venus, I "met" via the Morph Market, a reptile hub website for selling, as the name implies, reptiles that are generally morphs of their species. I was clicking through the genes, keeping my price ceiling in mind, and really fell in love with champagnes, and I thought Venus in specific was just absolutely beautiful. I officially met her as a little thing mailed to me, and she was and still is just the sweetest. I wanna point out that when I chose Venus, I hadn't the slightest idea that champagnes harbored "the spider gene," as otherwise I would have avoided adopting her and feeding the market. Regardless, I love her to death and wouldn't trade her out. Did/Do you have any PEZ dispensers? I did as a kiddo, yeah. Do you enjoy erotic stories? If so, do you read them or write them? No; they make me really uncomfortable. When writing RP, some scenes can get sexual, but I have my limits for sure and know when to stop writing and just time-skip. If you had to choose, which one would you rather have: a pet or a baby? Keep the baby away from me. Gimme a plains hognose or tarantula, please. ^Why did you choose the one you chose? I don't want kids at all but would love the mentioned animals as pets. Do you live with your parents or on your own/with a partner? I live with my mother. What's the car of your dreams? I don't have a "dream car." Have you ever witnessed something or someone die? Animals, yes. Has anyone ever told you that you snore or talk in your sleep? I don't snore, but I talk a LOT. Do you have any houseplants? No. Are you more on a laptop or a desktop computer? I only have a laptop, and I prefer them for portability's sake. If you could do absolutely anything, what would you like to do the most? Entirely leave behind my anxiety, probably. Or PTSD. Do you think your parents raised you well? Yeah. Dad didn't really take much part in "raising" us/enforcing rules and stuff, but hey, my sisters and I wound up being good people. Do you have a Facebook? Yeah. Do you know any of your neighbors? Definitely not well. We haven't lived here long at all. Does/did any of your relatives have an interesting, nowadays unusual job? I'm sure somebody does. Have you met your ideal partner yet? I think so. Have you had a serious relationship yet? If so, how many? Yeah, two. Do you enjoy books, magazines or comic books the most? Books. Are your parents old-fashioned or up-to-date about certain things? Dad is more old-fashioned I think, while Mom is pretty up-to-date. Do you or did you at some point keep a diary? I very briefly did on a few occasions. I always had a journal I wrote in during all my hospital stays. Have you ever upcycled trash into useful items? I remember I once followed this craft idea on Animal Planet where you turn a milk jug into a bird house. We never got any birds in it, though. Which color Skittle do you like best? The only right answer is red. What’s your favorite element? Of the classic four, fire. If you had your own radio show, what would it be like? YIKES, I don't want one. Don't make me talk in front of (through a radio or not) people. What has been the biggest surprise you’ve ever gotten? An "impossible" breakup over Facebook Messenger lmaoooo. Is there a holiday you can’t stand at all? There aren't any that I "can't stand," but I do hold at least some degree of dislike of ones bastardized by religion. It's disrespectful as fuck. Who is your favorite person in the whole world? My mom. Has there ever been an activity you became obsessed with? I was definitely obsessed with RPing in my early teens. Like, I ALWAYS wanted to be writing it. What has been the strangest place you ran into someone from your past? I can't think of an occurance. What is something people tend to come to you about? Anything related to English and grammar. If applicable, what's the furthest you've traveled because of a hobby? For purely a hobby, definitely not very far, partially because I can't drive or afford travelling via plane or whatever. Do you have souvenirs from other countries? If so, what and from where? N/A What do you do when someone is talking to you about something you don't care about? Pretend to be interested to avoid being rude. Do you have Photoshop installed on your computer? Yeah. Do you put lotion on after you get out of the shower? No, but I need to. Has anyone ever given you a promise ring? No. Do you have any bruises on you? Yeah, on my shin. When getting in Ash's van the other day, I hit it against the thing that helps you step up into the vehicle. Because of my muscle atrophy, I, and I am not kidding, can barely manage to absolutely yank myself up there. And mind you, her van isn't even very high up at all. My legs are just that damn weak. Any changes in appearance lately? Gaining weight is fucking lovely. Who was the last person to call you babe or baby? Probably a gal friend commenting on a selfie or something on Facebook. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for? Sometimes. Do you actually care about other's problems? Probably too much for my own good. Have you ever gotten a teddy bear from someone? Besides my mom, I don't think so.