#nah i don't want dragon magic to be *easy*

[pencilofawesomeness]

Something that I hope you are able to write for your work is forth gen dragon slayers. Which are basically dragon slayers that learned their magic but not from a dragon.

so like canon god slayers then

[bluerose5]

Hmm how about Halsin and Iron Bull (in whatever relationship dynamic you like!) commiserating after a fight with some goblins?

The kind of ship that snuck up on me out of nowhere. These two 100% took control of the fic and made it longer than what I intended, although I'm not complaining. 😌

...

One thing the Iron Bull never expected was for Halsin to admit to being a lightweight of all things.

While the tieflings' party was in full swing, he made his rounds throughout camp, took note of where everyone else's minds were at, his companions' especially, and he drank.

That was, until Bull realized the liquor on hand was some of the weakest shit compared to back home.

Still, it was a celebration, so he accepted drinks when offered, disgruntled by the fact that he was barely breaking a sweat over it.

Sobriety aside, he waited to speak with Halsin last, mostly because he wasn't quite sure what to make of him yet.

For one, he was big. Probably a little shorter than your average Qunari, but bigger than any elf Bull encountered in Thedas at least.

Secondly, he wielded magic different from most that Bull was familiar with, and the fact that majority of spellcasters in Faerûn didn't have to struggle against demons and possession in order to control their power...

Strange. Reassuring in a sense, but very strange.

When all was said and done, Bull figured no harm could come from getting to know the newcomer. This esteemed, knowledgeable "Archdruid" of theirs.

Who happened to be easy on the eyes —well, eye, singular— as well, but that was neither here nor there.

The Iron Bull sauntered up to him with a friendly smile, his head held high in a show of confidence.

"Well, it looks like I saved the best for last!" Bull greeted. "Settling in okay?" Before Halsin could answer, Bull interrupted. "Wait! Wait." He gave a dramatic pause. "I couldn't bear it if you said 'no.' Haha!"

He beamed at Halsin, who couldn't resist a snort of amusement, the corners of his eyes crinkled in delight.

Bull could practically hear Krem grumbling from there.

"Do not concern yourself with me. I am settling in just fine," Halsin assured him. "Of course, it always helps to have a host as gracious as yourself."

"Let's see if you still think that by the end of the night," the Iron Bull joked. He stood at Halsin's side, giving him a playful nudge with his elbow. "Seriously, though, that fight at that temple was great, yeah?" His heart raced at the memory. He leaned in, his voice low, appreciative. "You were incredible."

"Oh, come now," Halsin said, brushing off the compliment. "I don't know about that. You and your companions did most of the heavy lifting, after all."

"Don't downplay your role in our victory," Bull told him. "The sheer amount of goblins alone would have proved a challenge for anyone, but you cut through them like it was nothing." Try as he may, Bull couldn't help it, his eye trailing up and down Halsin's body. "All of that fury and rage, unleashed, directed at our enemies. You were a sight to behold, but tell the truth. You enjoyed it, didn't you?"

Halsin glanced at him, not even bothering to hide how his eyes raked over his frame in return.

"Perhaps," he allowed, taking a second to clear his throat. "I must admit, I have come to expect at least a hint of fear from outsiders in response to my wild shape."

"Heh," Bull chuckled. "I fought dragons before, pal. It's gonna take more than a big teddy bear like you to scare me away."

"Is that so?" Halsin raised an eyebrow at him, surveying the area around them. "Maybe I should work on that then. Everyone should maintain a healthy balance of fear and respect for nature."

"Trust me, I respect it plenty," Bull said, "but by all means, do your worst."

Halsin shook his head, smiling to himself.

"Tempting as that is, you surely have others to go mingle with. Don't let me keep you."

"Nah." Bull waved off that concern without second thought. "I've done more than my fair share of mingling for tonight. I want to get to know you better."

He gave him a playful poke to the arm.

"Hmm..." Halsin hummed in contemplation. "I wouldn't want to be selfish and rob others here of your company. I can wait until morning to speak with you at the very least."

"Which is fine, if that's what you want," the Iron Bull whispered, "but what if I want you to be selfish?"

Halsin searched his expression for any sign of deceit.

When such scrutiny proved fruitless, his entire demeanor shifted, more open to the idea compared to before.

"In that case," he responded, "will you tell me about one of your dragon hunts then?"

"Fuck yeah, I will!" Bull exclaimed, his excitement radiant like a flame.

He clasped a hand onto Halsin's shoulder, giving it a warm, companionable squeeze.

A small shiver shot down his spine, one that Bull was quick to watch with keen interest.

The Iron Bull reckoned that Halsin didn't know many people who towered over him. It was almost funny how often his gaze would level with Bull's pecs or wander farther below before darting up to his face yet again, as if he had to constantly remind himself that he was the shorter one for once.

Then again, maybe he just liked the sight of his chest. Bull couldn't fault him for that.

"Let's see. Let's see," Bull said, rubbing at his chin while he thought it over. "I could go simple. The first dragon I ever hunted alongside the Inquisitor was terrorizing the countryside we were in at the time. It was a Fereldan Frostback."

Already, his eye was glazing over at the tale, his voice taking on a tinge of admiration that bordered on reverence. Or as close to it as he could get.

"Extremely territorial, those ones, and damn if she wasn't a beauty. All of that raw, untamed power, but unfortunately for her, her territory happened to include a few defenseless villages that couldn't ward her off on their own. That's where we came in."

He wrapped his arm around Halsin's shoulders, drawing him in closer as he spoke, staring off towards a faraway land that was well beyond their reach for now.

"That sharp burst of air that rushed past as she swiped her tail at us. That loud ringing in our ears when she screeched at the skies. That molten heat that radiated in the air when she snapped her teeth at us, so close that we would have been her next meal, had we not rolled out of reach in time."

He bared his teeth into a grin.

"That was a good day," he all but growled. "A good day, indeed!"

Halsin shifted in place. Of course, it didn't escape Bull's notice how he eased closer to him in the process.

He stared at the Iron Bull with a mixture of heat and shock.

"You almost sound excited," he said, hesitant, not wanting to overstep his bounds.

Not that it deterred Bull in the slightest.

"That's because I am," Bull stated, unashamed. "Even now, something about it gets my blood pumping and my heart racing, more so than any other fight." He grunted loudly as he lingered on the memory. "Maybe it's in my blood."

"Your blood?"

"Yeah," he said, "rumor has it that there might have been some dragon's blood mixed into the Qunari's somewhere along the way." He shrugged. "No one knows for certain. Would be pretty badass, though, wouldn't it?"

"Definitely."

"Okay, now it's your turn."

"My turn?" Halsin questioned.

"To share. Come on," Bull encouraged. "You can't tell me that you don't have some wild stories stashed away."

"Well," Halsin launched into his tale without missing a beat, "it's not too different from yours. Back in my youth—"

"Nuh-uh, none of that," Bull interrupted. "You're not that old."

"I'll have you know that I am three hundred and fifty years young."

"Hot."

Bull smirked when that got a laugh out of him.

"I can admire anyone who is so open with their desires," Halsin said, "but shall I continue the story?"

"Oh, alright, I'll behave."

"Somehow I doubt that," Halsin teased, "but as I was saying, I was young and impulsive at the time, traveling and exploring the world to my heart's content. After indulging in nature's gifts on land for so long, life led me to the sea. Throughout my journey, I heard about a string of pirate attacks, led by a rogue band of water genasi. Their greed had already impacted several coastal villages by the time I caught wind of it."

Bull made a mental note to ask more about the race later, too intent on listening to the current story to venture off on another tangent.

"People were being taken from their homes, everyone from their children to the elderly. Those who relied heavily on fish as a staple found themselves on the brink of starvation. Resources were being drained. Their valuables were looted. Any who fought against the genasi were executed or enslaved, made an example of."

"But you stopped them?"

"Eventually," Halsin sighed, it obviously taking a toll on him that he couldn't save more than what he did. "I studied their movements, their tactics. At first, I would rally others behind me, wait until the genasi tried for an ambush, and attack then. But there were still too many deaths for my liking, so I went on the offensive. The locals provided me with a vessel of my own, and I sailed out into the open waters. I took the fight to them, grew more and more cocky with each ship I took down. I believed myself to be invincible, and that made me reckless."

"What happened next?" Bull asked, although he already had an idea.

"You clearly survived, though."

"I was taken prisoner. One of my attacks went exactly as I planned, but I didn't know that the genasi had others lying in wait, holding back until they saw the perfect opportunity to strike. They outnumbered me, enough so that they were able to overpower me, and that was that."

"That, I did. With me as their trophy, the band that captured me left the coastland for quite some time. About a year and a half passed, give or take a few months, but I forced myself to be patient throughout that time of servitude, difficult as it was. I earned the trust of the crew. And later, the captain.

"Then one day, I felt it. There was something stirring in the water, restless, massive in size. I could sense it, and part of me knew that it was my time to act.

"I convinced the crew that there was treasure, worthy of the gods, in some nearby wreckage. I made up a lie, said I recalled the area from my studies, and they believed me."

"You led them right into a trap," Bull said, impressed.

Halsin nodded.

"It was a kraken's territory," he explained. "A sea monster of great power and might. It rose up from its dark depths to confront us. The waters turned rough and formed a large, gaping vortex that threatened to consume us all. The winds whipped at blinding speeds. Storms formed that spewed lightning everywhere you looked. The kraken even managed to charm some of the crew into fighting under its thrall, so you can imagine how everything turned into a bloodbath from there."

"Damn." Bull released a low whistle, recalling a few stories he heard of dreadnoughts encountering an aban-ataashi —a sea dragon— while out on their patrols.

He imagined this creature must have been similar to cause so much destruction.

"Nothing against you or your skills, but I'm surprised you survived."

"You and me both," Halsin agreed. "I was so weak that I couldn't switch forms all that much at the time, but I managed to rely on some basic spells to keep me safe long enough to escape. I fought alongside the crew for a while to discourage any suspicion, but I stole one of the ship's work boats the second it was clear that the crew and the kraken were going to go down destroying each other. Through the gods' mercy alone, I managed to make it out of there. I watched both ship and kraken sink into the sea from afar, and I somehow survived until I found land once again."

"Okay, now that story deserves a drink," Bull said. "Or several. Care to share one with me?"

"In truth, I rarely imbibe," Halsin answered. "The stuff goes right to my head."

The sounds of the party returned to them then. Voices rose and fell. Squeals of delight and the clink of tankards greeted their ears.

People danced and swayed, stumbling around without a care in the world.

"Wait, really?" Bull asked, incredulous. "You're telling me that you can't hold your liquor?"

Somehow, that was even more unbelievable than him fighting a kraken.

Halsin laughed, holding his hands up in surrender.

"All I'm saying is that it won't take long before I'm breaking into song or declaring love to the first person I lay eyes on."

"Well, I mean, if you need a target to focus that energy on..." Squeezing him up against his side, Bull flexed his free arm, waggling his eyebrows at him. "I'm your guy."

"A tempting offer, I'll admit," Halsin said, admiring him openly.

"Plus, I've also been known to break into song here and there."

"Now, that, I have to see."

"Find me something stronger than the swill they serve around here," Bull challenged, "and you're on."

"Ah." As understanding dawned on him, Halsin flashed Bull a secretive smirk. "You thought that I meant that I can't handle the spirits such as those at this party." At Bull's confused look, Halsin clarified. "I keep a, uh, personal flask on hand for special occasions."

"No shit," Bull said, watching him closely, unable to keep his curiosity at bay. "You have your own recipe or what?"

"Something like that, and I have my pipe on me too, if you're interested."

"Don't have to tell me twice. Let's go make a little music, yeah?"

Amused, Halsin readily agreed.

They didn't even try to hide it as they ditched the party in favor of the surrounding forests, neither of them the type to sneak about in such a manner anyways.

They spent the rest of the night in high spirits under the stars, drinking, smoking, trading stories. And yes, singing rather terribly as well.

They fell asleep bathed in moonlight, and only when the rising sun bid them to wake did they return to camp together to discuss their next move.

[radley-writes]

hello! do you have any advice for plotting, at all? :D

Indeed, I do!

I call myself 'a discovery writer', by which I mean I fully plot out every single novel, get 1/8 of the way through, throw all that hard work in the bin, and sally off on a choose-your-own-adventure game, replotting as I go. Toot toot.

So, I can plot! I just can't stick to it.

Here's what helps me!

Disclaimer: Don't feel obligated to follow my advice. In fact, if you take one look at it and go '...nah', please don't follow my advice - you'd be doing yourself a massive disservice! There are plenty of other how-to guides out here!

But without further ado... PLOTTING WITH RADLEY!

1) Know where you want to go.

Before creating characters, a world, or indeed anything, I figure out a couple things:

First! The vibes.

What tone do I want from this tale? When readers put down the book, what feelings should linger in their chest?

This goes hand-in-hand with figuring out your target audience and genre, but it's a little more abstract. I usually scrawl down a list of aesthetics, emotions, tropes & key concepts that I want to shine!

So: for Strictly, the list would look something like:

Empowered, angry, hopeful, urban deprivation, class contrasts, city lights at night, smoking rubble, big guns and motorbikes

Whereas for Dressage Dragons, we might have:

Fun, complex family bonds, extravagant wealth, grudging friends, dry tinderland in summer, dusty heaths, one spark away from a forest fire...

Second! The ending.

I always, always, always know my climax, before I go in. I need to know what I'm aiming for! Even if my entire plot twists around on itself as I write, that climactic final scene stays the same.

What's the big WOW image at the end that I want to stick in readers' heads? A huge cinematic fight? A devastating betrayal? An agonising choice?

Third! Character beats!

I work out each character's plot-purpose before I flesh them out as people. That way, you get interesting, well-rounded characters whose role in the story feels organic - rather than incredibly well thought-out, deep characters who you then have to build a plot around!

Some people find it easier to work in the other direction. I totally get why - if your characters only exist to hit plot points, they might wind up reading less as 'people', more as 'balls in a giant game of ping-pong'.

My trick is to only paint the bold strokes of their story. I still leave the characters space to develop naturally as I write, but from the moment they're conceived, I know they're going to be the sort of person who, say, will choose vengeance over saving a friend, but will feel horribly guilty about it, change their mind, and go back to save their friend in the nick of time, just before it's too late.

(Or I just plot out their arcs fully, and then ignore all of this as I write 😎)

Generally, I like to look at the climactic end scene, get a vague idea for who the characters involved might be, and work backwards from that point to figure out how they wound up there - and what they lost or gained along the way!

2) get visual!

I never plot on a laptop. I have a load of big old sketchbooks, so I open 'em up and mindmap it out.

A word document will encourage you to think in a very linear, coherent, chronological sort of way.

My brain is none of those things.

So, I toss shit at a wall (metaphorically) and see what sticks. I splooge ideas onto a big sheet of paper, then get out the red thread and thumbtacks and piece it all together.

(exclusive candid image of my plotting process ^^^)

It's so easy to get stuck when you're staring at a blank word document. Lying belly-down on the floor, grabbing sparkly glitter pens and crayons, and going to town on a big sheet of paper? Far easier. Tap into your inner three-year-old and watch the magic happen.

3) Don't be afraid to let an idea marinate.

I'm currently writing two books I've had on my backburner since I was 11. It wasn't 'the time' for those books then. It is now.

There's no rush, unless you're on a contractual deadline. If you can't wrangle a plot together, there’s no shame in putting it in the slow cooker and letting it simmer while you focus on something shinier!

That's all, folks~

Best of luck!

[hopeymchope]

I don't know how well you know Dungeons and Dragons (if at all), but if you can answer this, what races and classes would each character in THH pick for their characters in a given game?

Do I know anything about Dungeons & Dragons? ... Aside from the classic Alignment Chart, no. I don't know much of anything about it.

Or at least I didn’t know much about it. Because: Will I do a bunch of unnecessary research into the current version of D&D just so I can try to answer this question? YES OF COURSE.

So I dove into the various classes available and the various races that are playable (including current expansions), read the official descriptions for them all, verified which race/class combos were allowed, and finally came up with a list. Obviously, I don't have the depth of knowledge that a legit D&D player might have, but based on just the base descriptions available in the official materials, here's what I came up with.

Makoto Naegi – Human, Paladin. It makes sense that Naegi would go for the most commonly played race in the whole game. You might think he’d go for the most common type of class, too, but nah — his passionate sense of justice lures him towards being a Pally.

Kyoko Kirigiri – Half-Elf, Artificer. Artificers are the class that most values knowledge and intelligence, making them easy for Kiri to respect. And the Half-Elf is a being of two worlds who is said to be curious, inventive, and ambitious. Those traits are certainly present in Kiri.

Celestia Ludenberg – Elf, Rogue. We know Celes loves the physical appeal of thin, pale, otherworldly figures, and we also know that she’s hardcore into playing games of deceit. Ergo, this is perfect.

Aoi Asahina – Gnome, Ranger. I think the gnomes’ joyous embrace of life and all its pleasures would really grab the cheerful Hina. Plus she’d like how cute they are. Obviously, we’ve seen her bond with a fellow athlete quickly in RL, so for her class, I think she’d be drawn to a physical type — one better known for dexterity than raw strength. That brings it down to Monk or Ranger, and I think Ranger allows her to be less self-serious than the focused studies of a Monk.

Toko Fukawa – Tiefling, Bard. The bard is a primarily a storyteller, after all. It fits with her talent, and besides, it’s not like she’s inclined towards direct violence. The Tiefling is what fits with her personality. The constant abuse and suspicion that the Tieflings receive really reflect how Toko feels in her daily life.

Genocide(r) Jack/Syo – Half-Orc, Rogue. If Jack/Syo is in charge during the selection process, a Half-Orc who feels that inexorable pull towards her inner bloodlust is natural. I waffled on whether to go straightforward Fighter or Rogue, but I think the Rogue’s sneakier aspects and tendency towards smaller blades has to speak more to Jack/Syo.

Chihiro Fujisaki – Halfing, Fighter. A combination of what Fujisaki would clearly relate to (the small, peace-loving halfing) and what Fujisaki most wants to be (strong in both body and mind) resulted in this unlikely pairing. I think the evident dichotomy between class and race also hspeaks to 

Sakura Ogami – Leonin, Monk. As the Ultimate Martial Artist who is constantly training to be the best, she’d see herself reflected the Monk that constantly strives for physical and spiritual perfection. But what wins out when she picks a race – her noble warrior side or her girly side that loves cute things? I found myself waffling between the noble, physically imposing Leonin and the adorable Gnome. But ultimately, her combatant side has to win out, because she’s prone to hiding her girlier side.

Mondo Owada – Dragonborn, Barbarian. Dragonborn are loyal to their clan above all else, which is something Mondo can get into. Barbarians value strength, obviously, but they also have the ability to explode into a powerful rage. Mondo might not even be aware of why that speaks to him…

Kiyotaka Ishimaru – Dragonborn, Wizard. I think Taka would feel lost and perplexed when faced with a choice of what race to take, so when Mondo takes “Dragonborn” because he thinks it’s rad, Taka is just inclined to stick close to his bro. Then he chooses Wizard because it’s said to be the most scholarly of the various classes, and he wants to make sure he’s taking his studies seriously in every possible version of his life.

Mukuro Ikusaba – Leonin, Fighter. Leonin are mostly concerned with their own race and are nomadic. They’re a proud race of warriors and tend to keep to themselves. Mukuro has lived a similarity nomadic life, and the one person she usually lets close is her sister. Besides, mythical beasts like a Leonin sort of fit with the iconography of Fenrir. And then the Fighter class is… just obvious.

Junko Enoshima – Elf (Drow), Warlock. I think it’s extremely Junko to choose the most beautiful and noble of races and then pick the most chaotic/psychotic possible sub-race within it. The Drow are a group of subterranean elves who murder and enslave however they see fit, typically killing entire families if even one member stands in their way. Perhaps she’d try to disguise herself as a Wood Elf for most of the game, only to reveal her true nature once they’re deep into play. Furthermore, I can see her choosing a Warlock that has sold their soul to a demon or a dark god in exchange for power because of how incredibly despairing that sounds.

Hifumi Yamada – Dwarf, Bard. Given his own stature AND how much pride Hifumi takes in his “craft,” I think he’d identify with the skilled craftspeople who are stout in build. Hey, he already has shown a preference for characters with a similar build to his own body if you take his love for Princess Piggles into account. I doubt Toko would appreciate him sharing a class with her, but he’s even more overtly proud of being a storyteller than she is, so it’s a natural choice.

Leon Kuwata – Human, Ranger. With an eye for speed and precision, I picture Leon being drawn to the Ranger class. I also see him finding most of the fantasy races too weird/goofy and preferring to go Human, which actually fits nicely given that Humans in D&D are known for their ambition. Leon is definitely big on that.

Byakuya Togami – Refuses to play because it seems so foolish and frivolous, of course. But if he somehow is sweet-talked into it: Elf, Sorcerer. The Elf is a being of otherworldly grace with a larger perspective on world events that other races can’t gasp. The Sorcerer is a character with a magical birthright thanks to their powerful bloodline. Everything about this speaks to how he sees himself.

Yasuhiro Hagakure – Satyr, Druid. Satyrs are gregarious and just want to enjoy life’s pleasures, which sure sounds like our boy. But a Satyr Druid? The way I see it, Hiro will be put off by the typical magic-wielding classes, which’ll mostly make him think of his hatred of the occult. But the Druid derives all his power from nature, so Hiro will somehow figure that’s totally ok in the same way that his own weird powers somehow aren’t occult to him.

Sayaka Maizono — Half-Elf, Bard. OH CRAP I ALMOST FORGOT SAYAKA. I think the push and pull of the two worlds that Half-Elves feel, which often leave them feeling like they belong to neither one, is something that Sayaka would find understandable given the pull of her industry vs her desire to live a more “normal” life. And the Bard thing isn’t just because it’s typically a musical role — it’s also because of Maizono’s desire to be someone’s sidekick/supporting role and step out of the spotlight. 

..........and there it all is! Sorry that this took so long to reply to, but as you can see, I’m a wordy bitch. I wound up with quite the variety across the cast, actually. I used almost every class and almost every race (no Clerics and no pure Orcs, but that’s all that got ignored). 

Now, the typical D&D party is recommended to consist of 4-5 players, so this is obviously waaaaaay too many characters for a single session to contain. But if I were to pick the 4 or 5 people I think would most easily get drawn into a single D&D game? I’d think it’d be Hifumi, Makoto, Celestia, Chihiro, and Hiro.

[talas-starlight]

Scarred Spirits - Zuko x fem! reader (pt.5)

SUMMARY: y/n wakes up in an unfamiliar place and tries to find her way back to her mission (i suck at summaries LOL)

WORD COUNT: 2.3k

WARNINGS: swearing, fighting? kinda?

OTHER PARTS:  pt1   /   pt2 /   pt3 /   pt4 /   pt6

MASTERLIST: Here!

A/N: anddddd we’re back!!! hehe thank you to everyone who has been so so patient with me i am so greatful && hopefully youre just as excited as i am for this series heheh

Bricks. You felt as though you were just hit with a tonne of bricks. The idea of even opening your eyes to the harsh sunlight, which you could feel through your eyelids felt like the worst idea in the world. Your dry throat didn’t help at all either. Maybe if I just lay wherever the fuck I am, I’ll magically gain the energy to move again. Or better yet, maybe the ground will swallow me whole, and I can forget about this mission altogether.

Abruptly interrupting your painful stillness on the ground, there was a small kick into your left side. The sudden shock immediately sent your brain swirling into all the ways you could eliminate whoever disturbed your peace.

“Hey… I think she’s dead.”

Ah, the wonderful sound of an annoying, teenage boy. They’ll be easy to take out.

A second female voice emerged. “She's not dead Sokka! She's literally breathing!" Sokka? As in Hakodas son? Oh Spirits, you never fail to amaze me with how you choose to dictate my life. Hmmm, then that means the girl is Katara. Yay.

"Yeah?! Then why the hell hasn't she even moved a single inch since we found her!"

"Well, maybe she's protesting against your annoying poking!" Spirits they're annoying and loud.

A third voice attempted to intervene, "Guys…. Stop, she's fine. Trust me." Hmm, that's considerably younger. 10 years old perhaps? Or a bit older? 12 maybe? Male?

"Oh yeah? How can you be so sure Aang."

"Well Katara is right, she is breathing for one. But…. There's something else about her, I can feel it."

"What? Like an avatar thingy?"

"Yeah."

Wait the Avatar? Wasn't he on that dragon from when I was-

"Hmmm right, well what are we going to do with her?" At that statement, the annoying boy who seemed to be so confident that you were dead, kicked you again. Sick of his irritable presence, with as much strength you could muster, you took your right hand quickly snatching his ankle, and yanking it towards you, causing him to lose balance and ultimately backwards. Letting out a high-pitched yelp as he thudded onto the hard ground, you quickly rose to your knees. Taking the hand gripped around his ankle to tug him closer to you, you moved between his legs until you were able to straddle his waist, placing all of your weight on top of him. Finally, you grabbed both his arms, holding them above his head, completely hindering him from moving.

"If you kick me one more time, or even trying anything like that again, I WILL chop your legs off. Got it?"

Staring at you with pure horror in his eyes, he visibly gulped, nodding. "Yes! Yes! Hear it loud and clear. Totally got it! Just call me Sokka, the guy with perfect understanding."

Moving your right hand from his wrists, you firmly gripped his jaw, forcing him to keep eye contact with you. Taking in his scared features, you smirked even though he couldn't see it. "You sure about that, water boy?"

"YES! YES!", frantically nodding, you could tell that if you kept pressing on, he'd probably burst into tears soon. Bringing his voice down to a pathetic whimper, he let out, "please don't hurt me."

Finally lifting yourself off him, you let out a dry laugh, satisfied with his compliance. "Uh-huh. Right."

Turning your head to the people that belonged to the other two voices, you took in their stunned and weakly defensive stances. Chest heaving at your sudden physical movements, you nodded, acknowledging them. "Hey, Avatar. Katara. So, where am I?"

After a few moments of silence, the Avatar spoke up first. “You’re just outside of Omashu.”

Katara elbowed Aang, instantly alarmed at his calm nature towards you. “Aang! You can’t just say that. We don’t know who this person is or how she even knows my name! She could be with the Fire Nation for all we know!”

“Katara it’s alright! Calm down.”

“Calm down?! She just attacked Sokka! I mean, rightfully so- but it’s a little suspicious. We don’t know who she is or her intentions.”

Sighing, you looked around, taking in your surroundings. It seemed that rocky mountains surrounded you with a small group of tents in the distance. Interesting… why are they all Earth Kingdom people, when Omashu is so close by?

Shifting your attention back towards the three, you decided against telling them who you were. “It doesn’t matter how I know any of your names. What matters is that I need to get back to my original mission.”

Sokka scoffed, moving to stand beside his sister. “Your mission? Let me guess; you’re here to kill Aang too.”

Raising an eyebrow, his eyes immediately widened in fear. “Trust me, water boy, if I wanted him dead, we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now. I’m here on… other confidential business.” Met with silence from all three of them you moved on, “so let me guess, you found Omashu invaded by the Fire Nation, and you three were the ones that helped that tiny camp of people over there escape from their rule. Interesting choice considering there are bigger things you should be worrying about. Yet, why are all of you still here? Surely the Avatar and his friends don’t need to train them in how to look after themselves.”

“We’re going back into Omashu. To make a trade for King Bumi and to give the governor his son back.” Why does he keep willingly give me information? Now that’s interesting. I can barely feel any fire within him either, it’s almost as if it's not there at all…

“Okay. I’ll accompany you all into Omashu, and once we arrive within the city, we’ll go our separate ways.”

“Sure!”

“NO!”

“NO!”

Bursting out into a fit of laughter, you shook your head at the water tribe siblings. “Naw, it’s sweet how you think you all have a choice in this. Don’t worry, nothing will happen to any of you, I’m just hitching a ride and you’ll never have to see me again. Regardless, Aang said yes, and considering he’s the Avatar and all, I think his choice overrules yours.”

Katara didn’t seem to like your suggestion that her and Sokka’s opinion didn’t matter. “No, it doesn’t work like that! We’re a family, and we make these decisions together! You can’t just wake up after who knows how long you were laying there for, and expect us to trust you immediately! For one, you attacked Sokka a little too easily without any bending, and you literally said that you were on a mission! If I’m honest, you sound like trouble, especially since we don’t even know your name! Or what you even look like!”

“Just as I said before, it doesn’t matter. It’s sweet you all care enough about each other’s safety, but I’m not here to cause any of you ‘trouble’. Get me inside Omashu, and we’ll never have to speak or interact ever again. If it means so much to you, I’ll let water boy tie me up, and watch me the entire journey there as reparations for my small attack against him. How does that sound?”

Aang more than satisfied with your offer let out a quick, “Yes!”.

Grumbling under her breath Katara shook her head, clearly understanding that this was as good as it was going it get. “Fine. But he ties you up now. If I see you even move an inch out of line, don’t think I’ll go easy on you. I am a waterbender after all.”

As if you being a waterbender would have stopped me. Holding your arms out and casting your attention towards the ground, you were ready for Sokka to bind your wrists together with some cloth, he tore off his clothing. Unknown to you, he seemed to notice that despite how tough you were, you were weak. All of the sudden movements and the argument with his sister clearly drained you physically.

“Hey… I don’t really like you since you threatened to kill me, but are you sure you’re ready to be travelling so soon? You’re breathing really heavily. You need some water and food.” Gently wrapping your wrists together, he tried and failed to make eye contact with you.

At the mention of water, you throat physically constricted in pain. “Nah, I’ll be alright. Just need to get to Omashu.”

“Doubt it. Let’s get you on Appa and I’ll nag Katara for something.”

Silently following him to the Sky Bison, you were grateful that your mask covered the wide smile that broke out onto your face. It’s beautiful.

Finally, parting ways with them, you let out a breath of relief. That was the most silent journey I have ever been on and I travel by myself… Spirits, I hope I never have to run into them again. I think I’m going to lose my mind if I ever do. What was Hakoda thinking?! I’d be an awful big sister to them, they already hate me! It didn’t help how much they kept bickering either. Argh, what a mess. Aang kept looking at me funny the entire time too! What was up with that? Do his Avatar powers allow him to see into my soul or something? Spirits, he’d probably wants to unleash his Avatar state on me for all of the lives I’ve taken. Yikes.

Before setting off to find Azula, you needed to take precautions to blend into the small kingdom. Stealing some clothes, you found you chose to duplicate you last disguise with the only main difference being that it was in green cloth instead of pink.

After securing your final blade underneath your robes, you knew there was no more time to waste and you needed to find Azula quick. You weren’t sure how much she has progressed in her mission to find Iroh and Zuko and the guilt of not helping them when they ran off the Fire Nation ship was already nagging you like an itch you couldn’t scratch.

This city is too big to wander around aimlessly.

Closing your eyes and letting out a deep breath, you chose to look for her the quickest way you knew how. By sensing her fire.

Come on y/n; you can do it. Unsure of how far your abilities would work, you grew worried that she may be too far away for you to even feel her.

After a few minutes, you started to feel irritated. Of course, you could sense fire, you felt so much of it. The city was crawling with Fire Nation after all, but it wasn’t hers. You emitted a few more deep breaths, trying to clear your head.

Suddenly a deep, familiar voice entered your mind. Inner peace. You need to find your inner peace y/n. That’s why you keep losing control; you need to find it.

Is this that dragon again? As if you didn’t have a random voice inside your head, you were met with silence.

Look you can’t just randomly enter my mind you know, and who in Spirits name transports me to some random mountainside?! I don’t know who you are, but I’ve been doing fine all of these years on my own. So kindly, get out of my head.

Letting out a small scream into your hands as the voice never came back, you closed your eyes again.

Stupid voice.

Stupid inner peace.

Breathing in and out, you wracked your brain for something that made you feel at peace. Come on, you can do it. Then after a few moments, it hit you. Not your inner peace, no. You’d have to find that another day. What did hit you was Azula’s fire, you felt it.

Immediately following the tugging feeling, you ran as fast as you could until you came to a tall piece of scaffolding. Even though you were so far below, you could still hear the fight that was occurring many levels up. Can’t she keep herself out of a battle for at least a day?! I bet it’s not even Zuko up there. Scowling, knowing that you can’t ignore her completely, you climbed up until you reached the fight but still remaining hidden.

By the time you reached the platform, you felt that Azula had already moved from this part of the fight. That didn’t mean that there weren’t pressing matters right in front of you, though.

“How are you going to fight without your bending?” A Fire Nation girl before you brought out her blades ready to attack Katara. Holding back a verbal groan, you knew you were going to have to help her.  

Quickly jumping in, you deflect Mai’s knife with your arm while simultaneously catching a boomerang that you spotted in the corner of your eye. As the flying bison approached your quickly dodged its tail as it sent the two fire nation girls flying back. Seeing a distraction between all parties, you threw the boomerang back to Sokka while running for the scaffolding, making your way into the shadows. So much for never having to see them again.

When you ran away from the scene, you knew your disguise was too recognisable considering the two girls saw you when you intervened. This left you to painstakingly have to find a new set of clothes, just to make babysitting Azula and her friends so much easier. Despite finally being back on track with your mission, it didn’t make it any less tedious as you followed from a distance in the shadows. “So, we’re tracking down your brother and uncle, huh?”

“It’ll be interesting seeing Zuko again, won’t it Mai?” Huh? Is that coal brains girlfriend or something?

Azula spoke up at that comment, “It’s not just Zuko and Iroh anymore. We have a third target now.” You have got to be fucking joking. I guess I better start finding my inner peace after all, you know, so I don’t blow her FUCKING BRAINS OUT!

a/n: hehe thank you so much for reading!!! what did you think?? hehe i know its been a while so im kinda rusty so pls let me know your thoughts or any feedback!! hehe i know this wasnt that juicy and kinda short but ive got a lot planned so dw hehe we’ll get there ;)

taglist: @slythergirlimagines​​ @mangoberry43​​ @eridanuswave​​ @whiskeywinter89​​​ @kaylove12​​ @simplyfandomish​​ @khaleesi-of-assassins​ @callums-keith​ @ilovespideyyy​ @calciumcow​ @blackhood5sos​ @nnon-it-up​ @lozzybowe​ @scarletemeterio​ @reclusive-chicken-nugget​ @simpinforsukka​ @chewymoustachio​ @tiffy119​ @spearbatty​ @sokkassuki​

[retphienix]

I Have A Lot To Say So I'll Read More This.

The short of it?

I'm glad I played Joker- I played it because I wanted to know how DQM evolved when it reached the DS and I got my answer.

It's mediocre. Not bad exactly, I enjoyed playing it, it adds some REALLY appreciated features to the DQM series and if you were playing it at release it had online play which plays well with the post game content which I haven't touched by the time I wrote this:

-but there are some engine/console specific things that made it a drag and there are some parts of the game that are just weaker than the previous games which is amusing since the previous games were simple GBC titles.

And finally, I don't really recommend playing through Joker 1. Can't speak on the sequels, but Joker 1 was a pretty middling experience for me so I'm the wrong person to get a positive recommendation from.

And since the opportunity presents itself: If you like monster RPGs and haven't tried it- go emulate Dragon Warrior Monsters 2 for the GBC, it's really good and also if you emulate you can fast forward the GBC era grind if that's your taste- really a win all around.

On to my rambling:

I debated on writing, rewriting, rewriting, and better presenting my thoughts on this game and the series as a whole but nah, Joker ain't getting that, I'm ramblin'- lol

I will split it slightly between "The ending" and "The game as a whole" though.

Ending:

1:07 - This is slightly a 'game a a whole' thing but honestly it's funny to me that you unlock a permanent repel in this game by doing the main quest. I entered this dungeon feeling strong enough to beat the game, so I just avoided 90% of encounters entirely.

5:00 - I genuinely got a laugh out of Sparkpug's whole deal in this finale. Not story wise, that's fine, no complaints- I mean that Sparkpug is clearly built to be a monster that can carry an ineffective team. He's clearly meant to be bred a few times and a god tier member of a potentially inexperienced player's team- but I literally never used him after the intro.

So during this scene it's supposed to be like "I'm a demi-god monster, you can't possibly beat me" and I'm thinking "Dude, you're like level 10 and shit tier, you can't win, this is hilarious."

Obviously it's a real boss fight and not 'face the monster you once had' but I was having fun roasting him behind the scenes of this recording.

45:00 - What an entirely unexpected change of pace.

Like, I had it spoiled for me by a screenshot that Dr. Snap becomes a monster or something- but I thought maybe he was always a monster or something, and also I got a bad look at him.

HE TURNS INTO A BODY HORROR BEAST, THAT'S NUTS.

Genuinely a highlight of the game.

52:00 - I fucking laughed what a meaningless exchange where the payoff is saying "He was stupid!", it's honestly just silly and dumb but not necessarily bad just dumb lol

55:00 - Not a great 'you won' victory lap. Like at all. Kinda feels like they should have just made this all a cutscene where I appear back at town and see that Solitaire is the leader now etc etc.

I kinda don't understand why it's a victory lap at all? Because all anyone says is "They picked a weird successor to Snap >:(" or "Snap went to the island? I bet he was stopping the calamity :)"

If you have 2 lines of dialogue prepared, maybe don't make a victory lap???

1:00:00 - What a fucking stupid payoff lol

Like sincerely, Solitaire does NOTHING the entire game! She's meaningless from start to finish! And the 'surprise' is that she's the new commish??? And she got the position because she's a rich spoiled brat??? Like LITERALLY that's why????????

What a stupid fucking ending lol

Now her proposed evolution of the contest is fair enough, I mean it's childish as hell, but to be fair- more contests is a fine idea especially since prior games and this game demonstrated the public's interest in watching monster fights. And the goal being to fight her as the final fight is fucking egotistical and stupid- BUT- it does play into the fact that the player didn't get to fight her the whole game so it's whatever?

1:03:00 - This is both the best and worst lol.

This game has no story, like at all, it's fucking empty front to back, and only explodes with like- 1 event at the very end.

This moment is a montage of memorable moments with your 'best friend' Sparkpug. It's cinematically very nice to be honest! Even includes a moment I don't remember at the arena which probably didn't happen lol.

So visually it's cool- I dig seeing the camera zoom out as we run across the beach, and the flashback moments intersplice over us making our way to the scout memorial- that's very well done.

The content is empty lol

As I said there's no story, these moments are nothing lol

And that's that.

All said the ending was a very nice challenge to face with my team- I had to abuse items like mad but I MADE IT! It was a GOOD fight.

The rest I've already said.

On to the game as a whole:

I have issues with this game, but there's good too. It's really like 4 steps forward 6-7 steps back it's weird, it's really weird.

Positives are neat!

> First and foremost- TRAITS!

Monsters in Dragon Quest Monsters have always had a problem with keeping their identity for long. The way I'd explain it to an outsider to the series is that Monsters DO have special stat variance and intended movesets and all that jazz- but the breeding system completely and entirely destroys that relatively early into the game.

While a monster might normally have really high defense and low other stats while knowing buffing magic- breeding, EVEN UNINTENTIONALLY, will have that same monster come out with 9 billion attack and all ice magic.

Monsters in DQM have a habit of becoming canvases for the breeding effects rather than their own mons- and this is undeniably a downside. It makes the game feel unique, it doesn't 'hurt' it, but when by mid-game monsters are more easily identified as sprites rather than strengths and weaknesses or even types (family) it's a slight downer on the series.

Traits fix this a lot by making every specific monster have unchangeable traits which offer things like "immunity to x type of damage" or "higher crit chance"- it's small, but it gives each monster more identity.

> Second and secondmost- SKILLS!

The older games didn't use trees, it used each individual spell as a potential pass on during breeding.

Each monster could have 8 spells, and when you breed two monsters you pass on all 16 spells to the offspring (they don't learn them all at once, they learn them as they level up) as well as the natural spells the monster would learn by level up.

So in the older games it is really easy to end up with a refined and overpowered list of 8 spells on each of your monsters.

Now spells are tied to Skill trees and your monsters can have 3 skill trees total (which are passed on as OPTIONS when breeding).

All to say skills do a lot for removing the "Master of all, weakness of none" spell lists that the older games made trivial to make, now you have to limit your builds and be more specialized- also they added skills like "Attack up" to add more variance to a build- instead of having spells you might just have high stat buffs as skill trees.

Overall I think Skills are an improvement because coupled with Traits it makes each monster feel much more specialized and unique and less like a sprite with no identity.

> Breeding is improved.

This is very much because of skills and traits- again- but also the system is just improved in general. Instead of being told "That's a monster you haven't had before!" and judging your decisions based on the name of the offspring breed, now you get to see a small sprite of the resulting monster to help you decide- ALSO instead of getting 1 result for every combo (to the point where you have to back out and choose Monster A + Monster B and Monster B + Monster A as separate options), you now get up to 3 results to pick between for every breeding opportunity.

It's just better.

> The engine is impressive.

At least to me. This is a DS title using (from what I read) a rework of the DQ8 PS2 game's engine- it certainly looks like it.

Combat models are nice, using moves looks nice, overworld exploration looks nice- it looks nice.

Now for some negative and general nonsense- all of which is more often than not 'weird'.

> I gotta be unfair and say "The Story" first and foremost.

DQM 1 and 2 are not intense story games. They aren't.

But they both knew how to handle their story well for what they wanted to tell, I can and will praise both for their narratives because they know what they are and do it well.

DQM:J does not. It's fucking bad.

Basically: The overall story doesn't exist- you're told to be a spy, but that comes up 1 time towards the end of the game and LITERALLY doesn't matter at any other moment INCLUDING the one time it comes up.

You have NO meaningful objective from the start up until near the end of the game. You show up and have no goal- so you get told to get some crystals with no meaning behind it (not even a lie because they are clearly evil- not even a lie to motivate you! NO MEANING IS PRESENTED! JUST DO IT! TO DO THE CONTEST I GUESS! WHY? SHUT UP!)

So 90% of the game time you're not doing anything meaningful. So what about the islands? Any small narratives to keep things moving?

NO!

NOT AT ALL!

So you go 90% of the game having no real objective, just kinda wandering forward mindlessly- and then the game suddenly goes "Oh! Guy who seemed sus! He's evil! He's gonna unleash the calamity that you were 'kinda but not directly' working towards with your dog! You know, that plot point that's kept vague and paid 0% attention to the entire game? Yeah it's happening! Aaaaand you're done! GG!"

Basically there's just nothing going on in this game, it's all background noise until the last 10% of the game. And that's lame.

DQM1 had a light story- but from the very intro cutscene you have a clear objective which makes every action you do seem relevant as you are working towards that goal.

From the start of the game you know "My sister is gone! The king says a magic wish can get her back! I'll go do that!" and then you do!

DQM2 has a much better story!

You have a goal from the start (The kingdom is physically dying and you have to save it by getting a new plug!) AND it has stories for each world you visit!

THAT'S MILES BETTER! THIS GAME COULD HAVE DONE THAT FOR THE ISLANDS!

Anywho. Story is lacking and empty and lame especially when DQM2 has a similar format but does every part better- you have a clear objective you're working towards AND side stories to keep the light narrative moving!

WTH!

The spy plotline doesn't matter! It could have been used to build suspicion on who's the good guy!

The islands are so empty of story!

DQM2 has a fun mix on how a rival character works which makes every world interesting to see how they get involved!

This game has a rival that does NOTHING!!!!!!!!!

It's just such a step back from the previous games, it's weird to see DQM 1 land a solid simple story and DQM 2 build a great format to expand the story going forward- and then DQM:J just slams its head into the dirt and wipes out.

> Game's slow.

The engine switch is a good thing overall, but it makes combat slower (a lot), adds loading screens to combat (primarily), and they didn't bother speeding up the grind from previous games.

Because of the grind still existing which isn't a problem in and of itself- the game becomes SLOW AS HELL because the engine makes that grind take longer.

Also world exploration is slow which is to be expected when moving from 2d to 3d, but this is countered by adding things to the world to find or do- and Joker tries but it's still noticeable. The world exploration isn't a problem, it just stands out alongside the combat being slow as hell.

The engine change was a great thing- but it feels like they should have put more work into speeding up combat to counter the slowdown of load times and flashy animations.

A GOOD WAY TO FIX THAT MIGHT BE XP!

> Music ain't great in my opinion.

DQ has amazing music. This game has some weak renditions in my opinion. The CELL HQ theme song is a pretty good poster child for the worst there is, but just in general even the better music is lacking compared to the chiptunes of the GBC or the better mixes of the main series.

Maybe it's unfair, it's a DS game, I don't know, I just know I ended up just muting most of the game because it didn't sound great. I played the GBC games OSTs instead for a large portion of my playthrough. I listened to videos instead for the bulk of the game.

It's just not pleasant to me, sorry to say.

> XP!!!!!!!

I'm being a spoiled ass on this but yeah!

XP SUCKS IN THIS!

There aren't good placed to grind until you beat the game! (apparently)

The first level blatantly has too low xp which makes you grind before you can tackle the boss of the island- and the late game has you mindlessly grinding low xp rewards in order to be ready to face the final boss.

It's WEIRD!

Why is it so low!

> Tech is weird!

I could ramble on this alone but here's the short version:

DQ has a unique fantasy world aesthetic that each game has explored in its own way. It's basically "swords, magic, monsters, and charm- things feel light but aren't afraid to get scary sometimes :)"

This game... doesn't.

This game has fuckin' tech watches, jet skis, TOWER PCS????

This ISN'T dragon quest on a world building level.

It's like, contemporary modern world but with slimes.

And that could be good I guess, but it feels so fucking weird to see PCs right alongside swords and axes and a dracky.

Like... why?

It's a poor aesthetic according to my tastes. Maybe I'm an ass for that. The tech is weird.

All to say, in a poor rambling "I gotta get this out of me" kinda way, is Joker was fine.

I enjoyed breeding. I enjoyed seeing the engine. I enjoyed the unique additions like a 'hero monster'.

But I also had to grind mindlessly on a slower game.

I had to endure a story that forgot to show up until the very end.

I sat there thinking about replaying the older ones the whole time.

It was fine.

It's mediocre.

I'm glad I played it.

I'm done now :)

[jensmisha]

do you only take spn pairings here? if not-- penelope/derek. if so, ignore this. (for the ultimate relationship tag)

Disagreements:

who is more likely to raise their voice?: Penelope who threatens to leave but never actually does?: Penelope who actually keeps their word and leaves?: Derek who trashes the house?: Hmmm. I feel like Derek would be cold and controlled when angry so...Penelope. do either of them get physical?: Nope! how often do they argue/disagree?: Not very often. But when they do have disagreements it can get dramatic. who is the first to apologise?: They each try to be the first to apologize but it's usually Derek.

Sex:

who is on top?: Penelope lol who is on the bottom?: Derek who has the strangest desires?: Penelope any kinks?: Hmmmm. Rope bondage? who’s dominant in bed?: I feel like they're both dominant personalities but I'm not sure how that would translate into the bedroom. I do think Derek would be the easy answer so I'll mix things up and say Penelope. is head ever in the equation?: Is it ever not? if so, who is better at performing it?: Derek ever had sex in public?: Nah. who moans the most?: Penelope who leaves the most marks?: Penelope who screams the loudest?: Penelope who is the more experienced of the two?: Derek do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’?: Yes rough or soft?: Yes how long do they usually last?: However long they want is protection used?: In some form or another. does it ever get boring?: It's never boring with them where is the strangest place they’d have sex?: A treehouse

Family:

do your muses plan on having children/or have children?: Not at the moment

Affection:

who likes to cuddle?: Derek who is the little spoon?: DEREK who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places?: Penelope who struggles to keep their hands to themself?: Derek how long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable?: Neither of them gets uncomfortable with cuddling who gives the most kisses?: Penelope what is their favourite non-sexual activity?: Playing Dungeons and Dragons where is their favourite place to cuddle?: The couch who is more likely to playfully grope the other?: Penelope how often do they get time to themselves?: Not very often, with their busy work schedules, but they steal time together when they can

Sleeping:

who snores?: Penelope if both do, who snores the loudest?: N/A do they share a bed or sleep separately?: Share if they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart?: Cozy who talks in their sleep?: Derek what do they wear to bed?: T-shirt and shorts for Penelope, boxers for Derek are either of your muses insomniacs?: No can sleeping pills be found by the bedside?: No do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side?: They cuddle up together who wakes up with bed hair?: Penelope, Derek is bald lol who wakes up first?: Derek who prepares breakfast in bed for the other?: Derek what is their favourite sleeping position?: Spooning who hogs the sheets?: Penelope do they set an alarm each night?: Yep can a television be found in their bedroom?: Yes who has nightmares?: Derek who has ridiculous dreams?: Penelope who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed?: Derek who makes the bed?: Derek what time is bed time?: Midnight any routines/rituals before bed?: Penelope puts on a face mask every night before bed who’s the grumpiest when they wake up?: Penelope

Work:

who is the busiest?: They're both pretty busy who rakes in the highest income?: Don't know are any of your muses unemployed?: No who takes the most sick days?: They don't get sick (magic of TV I guess lmao) who is more likely to turn up late to work?: Penelope I guess who sucks up to their boss?: Neither what are their jobs?: FBI agents who stresses the most?: Penelope do your muses enjoy or despise their careers/occupations?: Enjoy (though it gets difficult sometimes) are your muses financially stable?: yeah

Home:

who does the washing?: They split the duties who takes out the trash?: Derek who does the ironing?: Penelope who does the cooking?: Derek who is more likely to burn the house down just trying?: Penelope who is messier?: Penelope who leaves the toilet roll empty?: Penelope who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor?: Penelope who forgets to flush the toilet?: Penelope who is the prankster around the house?: Penelope who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere?: Penelope who mows the lawn?: Derek who answers the telephone?: Whoever is within arm's reach who does the vacuuming?: Derek who does the groceries?: Penelope who takes the longest to shower?: Penelope who spends the most time in the bathroom?: Derek

Miscellaneous:

is money a problem?: No how many cars do they own?: Two do they own their home or do they rent?: Own do they live near the coast or deep in the countryside?: In Virginia somewhere do they live in the city or in the country?: Suburbs do they enjoy their surroundings?: Yeah what’s their song?: "We've Only Just Begun" what do they do when they’re away from each other?: Text each other incessantly where did they first meet?: The BAU how did they first meet?: I don't remember. Not sure if that was ever shown or explained on the show either. who spends the most money when out shopping?: Penelope who’s more likely to flash their assets?: Derek? who finds it amusing when the other trips over?: Derek any mental issues?: Past trauma who’s terrified of bugs?: Penelope who kills the spiders around the house?: Neither; Penelope would never kill spiders and Derek doesn't want to upset her. He traps and frees them. their favourite place?: The couch, watching TV with Sergio the cat who pays the bills?: They have a joint bank account (???) do they have any fears for their future?: There's always the fear that someone might get wounded or worse on the job. who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner?: Derek who uses up all of the hot water?: Penelope who’s the tallest?: Derek who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other?: Derek who wanders around in their underwear?: Derek who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio?: Penelope what do they tease each other about?: Derek teases Penelope about the amount of toys and gadgets on her desk. I don't know what she'd tease him about. Maybe about him being stoic and serious? who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times?: Derek do they have mutual friends?: lol yep who crushed first?: Mutual crushes any alcohol or substance related problems?: Nope who is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am?: Derek who swears the most?: Penelope

[thelastspeecher]

Hihi! What about a Stangie DnD verse type AU? Or, if you don't play DND a ton, an AU where the Stans are dragons and the Gucks are human farmers in a medieval style setting. In both of those, first meeting type scenarios.

Day 01   Day 02   Day 03   Day 04   Day 05   Day 06   Day 07   Day 08Day 09   Day 10   Day 11   Day 12   Day 13   Day 14   Day 15   Day 16Day 17   Day 18   Day 19   Day 20   Day 21   Day 22   Day 23   Day 24Day 25   Day 26   Day 27   Day 28   Day 29   Day 30

So, I don’t play D&D a ton, mostly because I’ve been struggling to find a group to play with, as well as the time to do a campaign.  But I have played D&D in the past, and have spent enough time obsessing over the lore and creating character that I feel like I was able to fill this order sufficiently.  So here, have wood elf ranger Angie meeting half-elf rogue Stan.  Enjoy.

Word count: 1457

              Stan crouched down, trying to makeout the magic trace he’d been following. He straightened up with a soft swear.

              Can’t see it anymore.  If I everreally saw it to begin with.  Neverlearned how to track, never learned how to do magic shit.  Stan sighed. Well, I’m boned.  And so is Ford.  Something pricked the back of his neck.  He froze.

              “Turn,” a voice commanded.  Stan turned around slowly, his hands held inthe air, his mind racing as he tried to decide how he’d talk himself out ofthis one.  Those thoughts went away atthe sight of the woman pointing an arrow directly into his face.  He grinned.

              I always forget how damn hot elf ladies are.  No wonder Pops went after Mom.  The elf woman stared him down, her hazel eyesfierce.  A few strands of blonde hairstrayed from her braid, dangling in her face, standing out starkly against hercopper skin.  She was also a full headshorter than him, something that amused him greatly.

              “You’re a bit short for an elf,aren’t you?” he asked, slipping into Elvish. The elf blinked, clearly surprised by the language change.  Then the scowl returned.

              “Yer a bit mouthy fer someonewith an arrow in their face,” she retorted, switching from Common to Elvish.  Stan bit back a laugh.  Most elves spoke with prim, clipped grammarand pronunciation.  But the way shebutchered the Elvish language was more like the way his mom would slur after afew too many glasses of mead.

              “I’ve been told that before,”Stan said with a shrug.  “So, are yougonna shoot me or what?”  The elfhesitated, clearly trying to decide what to do. After a moment, she aimed down at the ground and shot her arrow into thedirt.

              “Who are you?” the elfasked.  “And what are ya doin’ in thesewoods?”

              “The name’s Stan.  Stan Pines. I’ve been tracking my brother, but, ah, I’m sorta shit at it.”  Stan eyed the elf curiously.  “Hang on. You’re a ranger, right?”

              “Yes.”

              “Think you could help me trackhim?  I mean, rangers are supposed to begood at tracking, I think.”

              “I am excellent at tracking,” the elf said.  She shook her head.  “But I can’t help you.  I’ve been trackin’ my own brother.  Can’t help other folks with theirs until mineis home safe.”

              “…Fair enough,” Stan said after amoment.  He shoved his hands in hispockets.  “So, you protect these woods?”

              “With my siblin’s, yes.”  Stan raised an eyebrow in surprise.  “My fam’ly don’t adhere to convention much.”

              “Judging by how you apparentlyhave multiple siblings and speakElvish like a drunk, yeah, I’d say so.”

              “Watch it,” the elf snarled.  “I’m not exactly a fan of humans.  They’ve caused too much trouble here.”

              “I don’t doubt that,” Stansaid.  “But I’m not a human.”  He pulled his long hair back into a ponytail,revealing his pointed ears.  The elf’smouth fell open in a small ‘O’.  “I takeafter my pops more than my mom, but I’m only half-human.”

              “Huh.”  The elf seemed genuinely intrigued.  “Don’t meet many half-breeds ‘round here.”  Stan grimaced.  “Sorry, that term was uncalled for.”

              “Nothin’ I haven’t heard before,”Stan mumbled.  The elf cleared herthroat.

              “So, yer trackin’ yer brother.”

              “Yeah.”

              “Hmm.”  The elf chewed her lip thoughtfully.  “I- I s’ppose it wouldn’t hurt to at least sendya in the right direction.”

              “Really?  You find out I’m half-elf and suddenly you’reup for helping me?”

              “No!” the elf saiddefensively.  She nudged a clump of dirtwith her toe.  “Yer quite thesmooth-talker, that’s all.  I wasconsiderin’ helpin’ ya before ya mentioned you weren’t full human.”

              “Oh.  Yeah, that checks out.”  Stan winked exaggeratedly.  “I do have a way with the ladies.”  The elf blushed fiercely; her cheeks turnedgreen, rather than pink.  She coughed.

              “Don’t press yer luck…Stan, wasit?”  Stan nodded.  “Don’t press yer luck, Stan.”  She looked down at the ground.  “By the way, my name’s Angie.”

              “Angie?  Really?”

              “It’s a nickname.  My full first name is rather unwieldy.”

              “My mom’s is like that.  She started going by Gigi when she opened upher shop, just so that people could pronounce her name.”  The elf began to go through a small bag tiedon a loop to her belt.

              “What kind of shop?” Angie askedpolitely.

              “Uh, fortune-telling.  She’s a diviner.”

              “Huh.  Came across an elf diviner’s trailearlier.  Maybe it was her.”

              “No, she’s in the city.”  Stan stared at Angie.  “But my brother’s a diviner, too.”  Angie froze. Slowly, she looked back at him.

              “Why is yer brother missin’?” sheasked.

              “I’m- I’m not one hundred percentsure.  I think it might have something todo with this person he’s been working with, to expand his field of vision orwhatever.  My brother- he’s never beensatisfied with how much he can see with his magic stuff.  I guess he got a hold of some guy who said hecould boost his abilities, and things went south.”

              “What do you know about theperson that claimed he could help yer brother’s abilities?”

              “Uh, not much.  His name’s Bill.  And I don’t- I kept hearing Ford using some weirdlanguage to talk to him.”  Angie swore loudly.  “What?”

              “Yer brother’s name is Ford?”

              “Yeah.  Why?”

              “My missin’ brother was workin’ witha diviner named Ford.  I don’t knowexactly what was goin’ on.  I stay out ofwizard stuff when I can.  I’ve got plentyto do as it is, protectin’ the woods from fiends.”

              “Fiends.”

              “There’s a lot of ‘em ‘roundhere.  Guess the fabric between planes isthin or somethin’.  I ain’t quite surewhy they keep showin’ up, just that they do.” Angie huffed irritably.  “And theykeep tryin’ to mess with the good folk, lead ‘em astray.  They’re enough of a problem that they’re sortof my specialty.”

              “Makes sense.”

              “But anyways, like I said, mymissin’ brother was workin’ with someone named Ford, who was a diviner.  Shortly ‘fore he went missin’, he got a holdof me.  Asked me some questions aboutfiends, since I’m the expert.  I askedhim why he was curious all of a sudden.  Hegot this real nervous look and said that he wanted some information before hemade a decision about what he would do. And no one’s heard from him since.” Angie eyed Stan carefully.  “This…Bill.  Think he could be a fiend?”

              “I mean, maybe.”

              “If he is, and yer brother’smissin’ ‘cause he got mixed up with Bill, I can track him easy.  Like I said, it’s my specialty.”

              “That would be great.  I’ve been trying to track him myself, but Idon’t know what I’m doing.”

              “Clearly.  The only thing yer doin’ right is bein’quiet.  Everything else yer doin’ wrong.”  Angie grinned.  “I’ve been followin’ ya fer a while.”

              “Well, when you break into housesfor a living, you get pretty good at being quiet,” Stan said offhandedly.  Angie laughed.

              “I s’ppose it would,” she said.  Stan frowned. “Surprised I’m not put off by ya bein’ a criminal?”

              “A bit.”

              “Eh.  I’ve worked for and with shadier people.  Ya meet a lot of iffy folks in the deeperparts of the forest, where the wild magic runs thick.”  Angie got a faraway look in her eyes.  “It’s really somethin’ else.”

              “Uh, okay.  So, about that tracking?”

              “Oh!  Right.” Angie stuck her bow in her quiver. “Where’d ya last find yer brother’s trail?”

              “I lost it around here,” Stansaid, looking at the ground.  Angie strodeto his side and crouched down, inspecting the dirt and leaf litter with acareful eye.  She grimaced.

              “Yep.  I can see yer brother’s trail, all right.”  She stood again.  “I can definitely see somethin’ fishy goin’on with it, too.  Demon might’ve taken him.”  Stan sighed.

              “Somehow, I’m not surprised thatmy brother got mixed up with a demon.”

              “Hopefully we’ll find him andsend that sucker what took him back wherever he came from.”  Angie looked off into the woods.  “And hopefully my brother will be there, too.  I- I’ve been havin’ a rough time findin’ histrail.  It keeps goin’ cold, and I haveto retrace my steps.  But if yer brotherworked with mine, then I think that’s my best bet at findin’ him.”

              “Sounds like a plan to me.”  Stan paused. “Wait, I don’t have to pay you or something, do I?”

              “Nah.  I’m doin’ my job.  Rescuin’ folks from demons.  Not to mention, I’m gettin’ somethin’ out of it,too.”

              “Good.”

              “The trail heads east.”

              “…Which way’s east?”

              “That way,” Angie said, pointing.  Stan took a breath.

              “All right.  Lead the way.”