#narcissistic relationship

[roomwithavoid]

the haters aren’t gonna like this one but i’m right!

[narcsurvivor]

@ starparkdesigns on insta

[narcissism-awareness]

A guide to NPD for anyone who doesn't understand it!

What is NPD?

NPD, or narcissistic personality disorder, is a mental illness in the cluster B personality disorder category.

NPD usually stems from childhood abuse or other unhealthy childhood situations. In my case, abuse.

What are the symptoms?

Symptoms of NPD include an unstable sense of self, prioritizing yourself, having unstable relationships, having low/no empathy, and depression/self hatred.

These can be improved upon, but disordered thoughts will likely remain for most.

Can pwNPD have healthy relationships?

Yes, with effort and work. Plenty can have healthy and successful relationships. (like me, for example, in a loving relationship with my boyfriend)

We have a to be a bit more aware of how we treat others, but it helps when both the person with NPD and the partner set boundaries with each other. With communication, we can be great partners.

And yes, we can feel love and care about our partner(s). Empathy ≠ love. Empathy ≠ compassion.

Why does the term "Narcissistic abuse" harm pwNPD?

Because of the name, anything said about "narcissists" is also associated with us, even if you weren't talking about NPD. If you were, that's just blatant ableism.

Many of also call ourselves narcissists either just as a descriptor or to reclaim it.

Other terms like emotional abuse, gaslighting, and plenty others describe the same thing without ableist roots. Please, speak out about your abuse, but avoid using ableist terms.

But my therapist/psychiatrist uses the term "narcissistic abuse," how can it be ableist?

Sadly, ableism isn't that uncommon from medical professionals. Plenty use terms like "narcissistic abuse" and other ableist terms.

Why not just advocate to change the name of NPD?

Even if the name changed, it would still be ableist. We have another cluster B disorder that got a name change that we can look to for example of what happens.

You used to be able to be clinically diagnosed as a "psychopath," which has since been changed to ASPD. However, people still use the terms "psychopath" and "sociopath" to refer to ASPD. All the stigma around those words still applies to them.

I imagine similar would happen if we changed the name of NPD. It wouldn't matter, we'd still be called narcissists. And the term would still be ableist because it would still hurt us.

[ninepentz]

Some narcissists-

Are too easily offended by people either challenging their opinions, giving them back the same energy, any type of criticism whether it's good or bad.

For example I know a narcissist in my life who basically tries to be so intimidating all the time, argue, control everything and I noticed that whenever she's having a bad day she would take it out on me. I used to let it affect me deeply and take everything personal to where I started becoming just as bad as them. Arguing back and forth, physical/loud fights, calling each other names, being petty etc. Till I realized that is what's feeding their ego even more to see me basically taking their bait and engaging with them for some odd reason. Some narcissists get a kick out of you paying attention to them and proving them right. Bc what they do is twist your words and use your reactions to make themselves look better.

Overtime I learned that aggressively defending myself, constantly explaining my boundaries, even trying to talk things out, didn't help AT ALL. But what did work was not speaking with them, ignoring their negativity, being cordial/keeping my distance, which has done so much for my mental health. Now I let them do whatever the hell they do, it's none of my business anymore. The quieter I became, the more peaceful things got.

The thing about some narcissists is that if you offend them or mirror their behaviors back to them they get even more aggressive and defensive which brings out all their worst behaviors even more. And one thing you can never do is change the narcissist, they don't respect others unless they admire you, need something from you, and things like that. Nothing you do will make them change.

What helped me tho is just stop to responding and acknowledging them, simply agreeing to keep the peace and protecting my own energy. Idc what they say or do anymore bc I know it's just their own internal BS that they project onto everyone else.

Ever since then I haven't had not one issue regarding them that I used to deal with before, all I deal with now is my own personal issues and whatever goes on in my personal life. I'd rather have that than arguing in circles with a narcissist lol so I hope this helps anyone who's dealing with anything similar.

Stop engaging, be cordial, and don't take things personally. That's how you stay in your own lane and avoid getting poisoned by someone else's demons.

Thank you for reading 😊

✨️Nine of Pentacles✨️

[dontthinkineedyou]

I lost myself trying to love you, and the saddest part was you loved every moment of it.

-DR 11.02.2022 // you tried to make me hate myself but in the end the only person I hated was you, I would never want to be “your type”

[daughterofanarcissistwoman]

[maksimkoljancicisasexpredator]

Stage 1: Love bombing

Be careful about narcissists/predators and their love bombing!

This man Maksim Koljancic found me last year on a dating site called Badoo, back in September 2023, while he was in Bosnia, in a city called Banja Luka, and while I was in Sarajevo, Bosnia

I had written on my profile that I was only looking for marriage, no games, no lies, the real thing.

He first messaged me once before, and I had not replied because I had not seen his message, I was getting so many messages from different men that I had not paid attention, he then messaged me again 3 days later, and I finally saw it and answered

I was feeling really lonely, to be honest, being in a foreign country where I couldn't speak the language, and where I didn't know anyone, admittedly, I set up the filters to basically any men in Bosnia being from any age, from any cities, and I was swiping right on everyone, and I was responding to every messages, giving everyone a chance

I told him the same thing that I was saving myself for marriage, that I was a virgin, that I was looking for marriage, he responded with "respect" and that he was looking for the same thing, we spoke for 8 hours on the phone this day

He told me everything that I wanted to hear, and that I was hoping to hear ever since I was born, he told me how beautiful I was, how valuable I was, how rare, special, unique, how I was everything that he has always wanted, he agreed on everything I said, did, thought, he listened to me, he said we shared the same political opinion, religious view, lifestyle habits,

He told me that he would keep pursuing me because I was worth it, I was so happy, excited, I thought that we would meet soon, he said that he would come visit me soon, he said he was looking for a wife, and to have children, we spoke everyday for several hours, he was messaging me first, calling me first, he was such a traditional, religious, conservative man

In my deep loneliness, in the heat of the summer as I was sitting here in my bedroom, smiling at my phone, feeling butterflies, my heart racing, with a deep warmth in my heart, I started feeling the first effect of what I thought was a comforting attachment, an understanding, a sense of belonging somewhere, receiving the empathy, I always wanted, the patience, the care, from someone who could not wait to visit me, the first time I was not getting sexualized, the first thing I was being heard

I had come to Bosnia in the summer with my brother, he had stayed for a month, and he then left without me, and now I deeply regret my decision not to have followed him, if only I knew the tears that I would shed, the agonizing pain that I would be feeling, being lonely in the winter, I would have begged him to take me with him back home, and to throw my phone away…

[highonpanic]

Are you really at home…

Listening to the songs you used to show me?

Wondering if now someone else holds me?

Crying because you don’t know how to reach me?

Are you really at home…

Talking to her knowing she can’t replace me?

Cooking her dinner hoping after she’ll eat it like me?

Wasting your time trying to love her like me?

Are you really at home or is it just my mind playing games with me?

[narcissismarticles]

[pixie85chace]

[narcsurvivor]

[narcissism-awareness]

Idk why but I hate the stereotype that pwNPD can't love or will always abuse their partners the most.

Maybe because I'm too defensive of my boyfriend lol. Say what you want about me but leave him out of it.

[razzleberryjam]

Just doing some more research for when I drop my tedtalk this weekend,

But essentially the literature is partially incomplete due to lack of study in psychiatry fields, and we are going to Have to use some critical thinking skills and analysis to be able to properly understand what exactly the relationship between npd, bpd, narcissistic abuse and c/ptsd are due to the fact that we haven't made widely available officially reviewed scientific connections yet as well as the fact that the language will vary slightly from paper to paper - making it less 1+1=2 and more like if 1-1 =0, 0+2 =2, 2-1= 1, and 2+0=2, then 1+0-1+2 must equal 2.

Which listen, I know that doesn't make a lot of sense right now, but essentially I will be presenting a collection of research and literature articulated with the express intent to draw connections and illustrate the divergences in several varieties of traumas, abuses, as well as going over the development and long term effects of npd, Bpd, and c/ptsd. I'll also be covering the physical neurological aspects of traumatic psychological injury and treatments for the conditions with the goal of asserting and categorizing relationships between all of these things and increasing the understanding of the connections between them both during development of the disorders as well as continuation of cyclical trauma/abuse due to the disorders, post-formation.

So if you're interested in reading a long ass paper that I'm writing with official sources as well as additional resources that begins from the thesis: if we know about npd/bpd, narcissistic abuse, and c/ptsd can we discover underlying connections between these things in order to better understand them as well as using the information to invest in treatments and therapies to assist everyone suffering from these things - because I'm going to be honest with you right now, even if you have been an abuser due to your mental disorder, and even if you will never be capable of attaining forgiveness or giving restitution for what you have done to/from the victim of your abuse, you still are a human being who deserves treatment for the trauma that induced the mental disorder that became the snowball of your abuse. You still have the capabilities to heal and be healed and to move forward towards forming new and healthier relationships.

Anyways, I got a bit off topic because I desperately want those with npd/bpd to understand that needing treatment and needing help does not make you a bad person. Having done bad things doesn't make you a bad person if you take steps towards understanding what you did wrong, taking accountability, and working towards building better skills to avoid doing bad things like being toxic or abusive.

Like, I have laregly estranged myself from my abuser due to the inability to understand that any abuse was even committed, and the abuse at this point, may be too much to ever be able to feel comfortable around her again: however it would still bring me peace to hear that she was taking steps towards bettering herself, healing her trauma, being cared for and being able to maintain happy, healthy relationships.

My point is, I would love for everyone to listen if they have the patience. Stay tuned please

[ablessedlittlegoose]

The Air was Not Safe to Breathe

you slept next to me at night while I was burning to the ground

you told me you loved me each morning while the ashes were still on my skin

you sat next to my ruins and viciously told me I had all but vanished

my fire had gone gone out

you were now ablaze

the flames took me for all I had

it was you who lit the match

afterall

and was enjoying the light show

[sweet-like-hypoglycemia]

Dealing with a family member who has Narcissistic personality disorder, and is currently stalking and harassing their ex. A restraining order is being drawn up.

What the fuck do you do in this situation? Confronting someone with NPD is basically pointless, but now OTHER people are being hurt. Ugh!!!

[letmebeme712]

Narcissist

The sad thing is, they don't understand what they did to you, because they aren't able to feel the pain they caused you. They cannot realize, how damn deeply this pain has peirced your soul, and how much this pain has broken your heart and changed you. But what they feel is your change behavior. Your way of distancing yourself from them, being cold as a block of ice, with eyes full of hate and distrust. What they see now is a cold monster. But what they just don't understand is, that they are the ones who made you this way. But that's what narcissist do, they suck you dry until you are just an empty, emotionless shell, and then they want you to feel that it is all your fault.