#neet!reader

[yawnderu]

>Simon has a neet weirdo as a best friend Or Simon Riley lets his best friend see his naked body for art references.

This wasn't the way Simon was expecting to spend his PTO; naked in his best friend's bed with his hand covering his soft cock, hoping not to make you uncomfortable as you took notes of his body's reactions.

“Can you like... get hard?” He was trying his best not to get hard, going as far as to think about gross things he's seen throughout the years to distract himself from the feeling of your nails raking up and down his bare stomach, defined muscles tensing and bulging beneath your palm.

“'S not how it works.” He grumbled out, tired brown eyes looking away from you. Simon isn't embarrassed— not at all, he's simply not used to someone inspecting him the way you are, curious eyes fully focused on his body, taking in every single tattoo and scar, living proof of how many times he's kicked death's ass.

“Well, just think about... I don't know, tits.” He lets out a dry chuckle at the awkwardness in your tone, trying your best to keep it professional in the name of art. He looks down at you with pure amusement the moment he sees your hand drifting up, tracing the outline of his defined, muscular pecs.

You take a second to fully admire the view in front of you, absent-mindedly starting to play with his erect nipple, not registering the way his breath hitches. Simon looks like a gladiator— lightly tanned skin making his rippling muscles stand out greatly, becoming the virtual image of ancient Greek fantasies, a plethora of scars showing how often he crosses the edge of death.

“Gettin' a bit touchy there.” His playful tone doesn't save the mild embarrassment, about to let go of his nipple before his rough, calloused hand grasps your wrist, encouraging you to keep touching him.

“'S working.” Simon's other hand moves out of the way slightly, just barely enough for you to see his hardening cock, veins starting to become more prominent along his long, meaty shaft. He doesn't protest when you move his hand out of the way, getting a perfect look at him.

“That's... oddly interesting.” The awkwardness coming from you never fails to amuse him, only making his ego inflate by the second, even when you look down at your notebook to keep taking notes of his body's reactions.

“Does it feel weird to get a boner?” He thinks about it for a few seconds before shaking his head, holding back a laugh at the blunt questions. In the name of art, she says.

“Not weird, just... I don't know, bird.” The expectant look that you give him distracts him for a second, trying to think of a better way to explain it.

“Feels good. Bit tingly most of the time, and you can feel it... y'know, grow.” Explaining what getting a boner feels like isn't the weirdest thing he's done for you, half-lidded brown eyes focused on the way you simply nod and keep taking notes, using his words as inspiration for the erotic novels he knows you write.

The room is almost quiet for a few minutes, Simon's breathing becoming harder being the only sound, feeling your soft hands caressing every single inch of his skin, feeling him up more than he can take... and ultimately edging him without even being aware, stopping to take notes every once in a while.

“I can show you how a man jacks off, too. For the sake of art, yeah?”

[mina-star]

YO. saw that request box of yours was WIDE OPEN like a box of chocolates. just wanna ask, is it alright if i request Jax x reader who is kind of an embodiment of the disturbing and or "weird" side of the internet? preferably reader is a borderline NEET. THANKS, KILLA! 🎶🎶

This is officially one of my favorite ways someone has asked! Neet gave me ddlc flashbacks but in a good way!

JAX X READER WHOS THE EMBODIMENT OF WERID INTERNET

He first wrote you off as another weirdo to add the collection of people but as he got to know you that didn't really change but he liked being around you to a degree

Has no idea what you talk about but likes to tell the gang, the random facts He learned to freak them out

You would have to probably explain what a NEET is and definitely teases you About it

He goes to you for creepy prank ideas because and I quote "You know the weird stuff."

I HOPE YOU ENJOYED!

sorry this is short!! I'm not super affiliated with a really weird sides of the internet or neet culture, but I tried my best

[prettyboykatsuki-moved]

okay so. does rin know isagi and fujoneet reader have done it? does isagi tease rin about it bc he knows rin's a sick freak that needs a little prodding? does rin jack it to the thought of them together? or maybe just her? does f

rin knows because isagi tells him LOL. isagi sucks but he gets off on pissing rin off and rin in this context uses isagi as like. a buffer for his own lust towards you. its soooo weird LMAO. rin jacks it to the thought of readers pleasure specific and feels such crazy shame. they are so prime for cucking

but really in this universe it's like ohh. reader is so inexperienced and rin knows it though he doesn't do anything about himself just yet. and he just. nonstop thinks about her. thinks about her with a hand in her torn-up shorts and her face buried in pillows while isagi is plowing her, how good she must feel, how sensitive and uselessly wet she is. and it makes him angry but the thought of it makes him so hard

i think isagis torment is probably because he can tell how much rin seems to refuse to acknowledge his obvious want for her. fujoneet reader is really oblivious but isagi knows rin veryyy well and he knows all that bully is like a shoddy coverup to his desire about her. rin does jack off to the thought of them but it also makes him so viscerally angry to think of her weeping on anyones cock but his lol

[whiteingale]

today is worst day, i am off killing myself.

+

our existence and future is predetermined by variables around us.

some things that make you better, and some things that don't.

when I consider that I imagine I should just off myself today.

I got shock figuring out I am 22, not 21 years old. I lost track of time so badly I forgot that. I thought I was 21 and convinced myself. But I actually am 22 now. Wow, last 5 years of my life were hell. In fact, I'd say everything after 12 was already hell. It was empty void. That's why I really hate videogames, why did I spend so much time playing garbage like Dark Souls? Jesus. Uh... Fuck, I am 22 years old, holy shit I am fucked. It's time to think about my future priorities. a month in mental asylum then few years of absolute suffering and misery, anything after 2015 is blurry to me, I feel like I stopped existing as entity. I wasted a lot of time on social media, a lot of time chasing nothingness, things that possess no power in the world.

And now it's actually 2025?! My brain feels like nothing has been happening and I was genuinely rotting away. I am glad I managed to release some of these touhou videos, I am glad I managed to bring churro back. But everything in my spirit feels miserable, it's pretty obvious I am not cutout for humanity's methodology. I haven't made any friends nor any partner, I do not have any form of support at all. Not even one of family. And with my personality, with my way of being, I doubt I'll ever be able to get any. My ego is in shambles and anger as of right now. It's funny right? It's a small detail but if I said 21 it would have made me FEEL as if I accomplished a little of something. By taking a date one year further now it makes me feel like I am REALLY LATE. After all, I took a while to condition myself to the premise of "atmosphere", this is how "things are supposed to be or play out". I feel insignificant today and like the world is jusjt gonna step on me to death and there's nothing I can do. I am people pleaser, because i felt socially forced to act like one. Like that was a means of survival that I half-hazardly accepted while not feeling it in my heart. Now even complaining makes me feel like age is crawling as penalty for speaking words here. Indeed, nobody really cares. It's all fake, people only care about things that cost zero risk. Associating yourself with something weak makes you weak, isn't that right?

So, what will be my priorities for the rest of my life?

I am definitely alone and I am also not strong to defeat the world on my own, I am tired of ironyposting. I am fucking tired of watching shit youtube content. I am tired of social media hijacking my mind (when really i would've preferred living in a tribe than this fucking -technocratic place) well.. 1. I will try to work on churro as much as I can so this site works and I will use my finance to support it. Since I won't ever have a child, I can share it with the site. It can be costly for future servers and for advertising on whenever I can, but it is my genuine goal to both spend my time and money on the site. That said, I cannot do it while also working, because a few hours aren't enough to code any substantial changes or fix bugs. I will work on trying to take a gambit of perfecting the site while NEET at the moment. My second goal is touhouposting, I thought that I will have periods where I upload videos on youtube and continue doing it. Playing videogames might not be good way to spend free time, but nobody really liked me and I don't communicate so I feel this is better efficient way than all these times I tried making friends. I will probably upload touhou videos every 4 days if my time allows it, but I will eventually run out of time to edit.

So, the touhou thing isn't eternal, give it like 5 years maybe max, I hope to end it at 3. They will be published even if I die but they ought to be entertaining videos.

With that said, gym and training play huge role of my daily life. So that also takes a lot of time.

And procrastinating, I gotta talk about the worst. I am bad at dealing with abstract things, they waste my time more than anything. I am already a loser incel the way I am but when I deal with something that doesn't have a clear goal it will be bothering me. I need to manage my time so I spend the LEAST time on things that requrie entertainment over work. This stuff is something that is hard to fight when you got addicted to brainrot.

As for drawing, drawing is genuine effort workoholic example, so I priotize drawing in free time over meaningless conversations with people who only care about themselves anyway + doom feedscrolling (awful i hate it i am not gonna do it anymroe notgonnadoit My life looks pretty shady according to human standard, but I never went to bars or anything like that, in fact maybe its peopel who are shady and they have the majority. So, what do I do after I get churro perfect and upload all vids I wanted? hm....

yep, I'm probably gonna die. I wouldn't know anything anymore, it'd be nice to have son who would manage churro, maybe I can adopt somebody at very late age as ultra-cuck or something, I am getting tired of typing....

[yawnderu]

MORE!! NEET!READER!! I’m obsessed with this it’s so silly and cute <33 I love your writing I can scroll through your page for hours 🍒

“Y'wanna what?” Simon almost chokes on his water at the request, looking down at you with raised eyebrows. He's always been an expressive man, even more so underneath the heavy layers of his balaclava— even more so with his best friend.

“Wank you.” You repeat quietly, slightly nervous hands fidgeting with the edge of your notebook while your head rests on Simon's meaty thigh, shamelessly resting on your knees in front of him the same way you used to do when you were much younger.

Simon's fingers drum against the plastic of his water bottle, eyes narrowing slightly as he tries his best not to laugh at the blunt request, not a single social cue in that little head of yours.

“An' what do I get in return?” Your scrunched up face makes it almost impossible to hold back his laugh, forcing Simon to take a deep breath before his rough, calloused hand goes to caress the length of your hair, subtly pulling you in closer.

“Well, you get wanked...” Simon's hand drifts down to your face, gently cupping your cheek and forcing you to make eye contact, your fingers running along the length of the notebook in your hands as you look up at him expectantly.

Simon's stare isn't half as intimidating when you know how much of a cry baby he used to be as a kid. The corners of your lips tilt up into a small smile as you think about a much younger and innocent version of him— only for the bastard to take the chance to sneak two of his fingers into your mouth, making you recoil back out of pure instinct.

“Tosser.” You try to slap his hand away only for him to grab your wrist out of reflex, shooting a cheeky smirk your way when you look up at him with disbelief. For someone as big as Simon, he's surprisingly gentle, giving you time to protest as he makes your hand run up his thigh, slowly inching towards his already hard cock.

“Go on, then. Give me a proper wank.” Seeing how you don't pull away, Simon wastes no time on lowering the band of his sweatpants, hooking it under his balls to keep in place. You scramble for the notepad on your lap with your free hand, finding a blank page to write about his body's reactions, much to his amusement. Simon doesn't mind being used as an experiment— not when his best friend keeps making him cum.

Your soft hand wraps around his length, feeling it throb beneath your palm as you take notes with your free hand. Simon's dick is as pretty as they come; 21 centimeters of thick meat, green veins running along the shaft, the head of it always seeming to be leaking like a pathetic, broken faucet.

Simon groans the moment your hand starts to move up and down agonizingly slow, a small grin pulling at the corners of your lips the moment his legs part, giving you more room to do whatever you want to him. Your hand goes up to the tip of his cock, rubbing it with your fingers and palm, gathering the precum leaking down only to use it as lube to be able to jerk him off better.

“Fuck.” Simon's head is thrown back, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down the moment your now sticky hand goes back to his shaft, muffled deep grunts and moans leaving his lips. Discipline, precision, and control are what Simon built his entire life on, all broken down by you the moment he can feel your warm breath hitting his cock, your flat tongue licking his tip with curiosity that, if it wasn't for how pent-up Simon is, he wouldn't have minded.

Simon's hand joins yours, guiding the rhythm of the handjob to something he needs— hard and fast, your soft digits caressing the thickening veins every once in a while until he can't take it anymore. Without a warning, Simon shoots ropes of thick, hot cum all over your face and tongue, making you let out a surprised yelp at the sensation and taste, already busy taking new notes as you absentmindedly make him ride off his orgasm, feeling new ropes of more watery cum fill your mouth and overwhelm your senses.

Half-lidded brown eyes focus on what you're writing, resisting the urge to roll his eyes despite his intense orgasm, his hand now softly caressing your cheek, making sure to spread his warm cum all over your cheek.

Slightly salty and too thick, doesn't taste that bad.

[mrsshabana]

Hi Mrs. Shabana!!!! I’ve had this request for a while because I’m a big fan of Gyutaro and the way you write him :D if you want, could you make an inceltaro fic and it’s established relationship too if it’s okay. Idk just daily life with him and if you feel comfortable could it be smut? (I have never requested anything before please forgive me 🤧 also I added the cat so things would be less dry I hope u appreciate this)

𝐈𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐥!𝐃𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐧!𝐆𝐲𝐮𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐨 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 ‧₊˚⋆

꒦꒷‧₊ Content Gyutaroxfemale!reader, 18+ MDNI, modern au, Gyutaro is an incel and a demon, smut, vaginal sex, creampie ꒦꒷‧₊ Note 1.3k words. I know you didn't ask for a demon version of incel Gyutaro but I had the idea and really wanted to write it! I haven't written for demon Gyutaro much so I've been craving it lately. I hope you still like it tho! And tysm for the ask ♡

Your boyfriend is a really strange guy. Your friends warned you that he was a creep before you started dating, but you didn't care. You thought his social ineptitude was charming.

Sure, maybe he was a bit of a stalker before you started dating. But can you blame him? You were super pretty, and the way that you smiled at him made his knees weak.

He didn't understand how or why a woman could have this effect on him. In his eyes, women were lesser creatures designed to serve men's needs. Cooking, cleaning, sex, that sort of stuff.

Or at least that's what he learned from Reddit and 4chan.

He rarely left his room or talked to people in person so it was only a matter of time until he clung to some extremist online society. It was easier to blame everyone else for his problems instead of taking accountability for his own attitude and situation.

He was just a horny, unemployed neet that's obsessed with video games and hentai.

But one day when he was checking his mail in the mailroom of his apartment building, you accidentally bumped into him. You smiled at him and profusely apologized. It wasn't a strange or unusual encounter by any means, but for Gyutaro it was the first (if not only) positive interaction he had with a woman other than his sister. So to say it affected him would be an understatement.

He immediately got hard as he watched you walk away. Unable to resist temptation as he followed you to see which apartment unit you lived in. It was just down the hall from his.

And that's how his obsession began. He memorized your work schedule and would try to always catch you on your way to and from your apartment. Then while you were at work he'd go back to his room and jerk off until his dick was raw.

It wasn't healthy, but he didn't care.

Eventually one thing led to another and the two of you would talk on occasion. Leading to a few dates. Then boom, he became your boyfriend.

You love Gyutaro for his personality and his uniqueness. He's actually really funny sometimes and you love how much he cares about you. Sometimes it's borderline obsessive but you rather have someone be obsessed with you than not give a shit.

Plus you think he's so handsome. Maybe not conventionally attractive, but he's attractive to you. Those birthmarks on his face are beautiful, and you make sure to remind him of that every time you see him.

He'll put up a front like he doesn't care or can't be bothered, but as you kiss his birthmarks his cheeks begin to turn a light shade of pink. And suddenly he wants to lie in bed and cuddle you all evening.

He's a good boyfriend, though he has some downsides. He was often rude to other people, especially women. His apartment was a mess, he refused to clean up his hair, and his personal hygiene was subpar.

But those flaws could never prepare you for the real secret that he had been hiding this whole time.

You had to work overtime one night so you came home super late, but you really wanted to see Gyutaro so you went into his apartment, expecting him to be in his room playing video games. But no, instead you found him sitting on the living room couch with a severed arm in his hand. Casually munching down on the bloody flesh.

He looked at you with wide eyes that didn't look like the soft blue ones you had become accustomed to. Instead they were an unnatural red and green, his clear scleras now a sickly yellow.

"Um... I can explain," he muttered as he swallowed the wad of flesh.

So yeah, not only were you dating an incel but he also happened to be a demon! Just your luck, right?

You panicked and freaked out initially, which is completely understandable. But when you gave Gyutaro the chance to explain himself, everything began to make sense.

Being a demon, he can't go out during the day and needs to stay secluded as to not draw in too much attention. He was basically forced into solitude, in turn resulting in him becoming an incel. He couldn't just go out and have a normal life like a human could.

As he explained his situation, you began to feel bad for him. It really wasn't his fault that he turned out this way.

He was on the verge of tears as he tried to explain things to you. The thought of you being afraid of him broke his heart. He would rather face death than accept that you no longer love him.

So he definitely didn't expect you to be so accepting of his situation, but you were. And it only made him love you even more.

Apparently demons have been around for a very long time. And over the years they have adapted to living in a more modern society. Like how Gyutaro could change his appearance to match more of what he looked like before he became a demon. Though now that you know the truth, he doesn't hide his true nature from you.

Is it bad that you like him better this way?

Maybe it's because he can truly be himself now with nothing to hide. But you find this new Gyutaro so fucking attractive. Suddenly his less than ideal hygiene isn't so bad.

Before he met you, he would mainly target women that annoyed him. Women who were beautiful, had lots of friends, or successful careers. Sometimes he'd target men too if they sparked his jealousy. Especially if the guy was very popular with the ladies, that made Gyutaro's blood boil and they'd quickly become his next meal.

But now that he's in a happy relationship, his outbursts of jealousy aren't as bad.

Now that you know the truth, he doesn't hold anything back in the bedroom. Gyutaro will literally go for HOURS if you let him. Fucking you relentlessly, spilling load after load inside of you. He knows you can only handle so much since you're just a human but sometimes he just can't help himself.

His favorite thing is to hold you down and push his cock even deeper inside of you after he's filled you to the brim with his semen. Watching you struggle beneath him is the cutest thing in his eyes.

You claim that you need to clean up and you feel dirty, but he loves that dirty feeling. He wants to watch you writhe in the mess he's created. Just smelling his scent all over you like that drives him mad. Even after you clean it off, his scent is never truly gone because he forced you to sit in it for so long.

He's rough and sadistic during sex, teasing you constantly. Withholding your orgasm while he reaches his over and over again. You're like his human toy that he can play with as he pleases.

But when it comes down to it, he genuinely loves and cherishes you. He acts like he's in control, but if you legitimately wanted him to stop, he would. He would even get on his knees and lick the bottom of your shoes if you asked. He'd never admit it to anyone else. But for you he'd do anything.

The love he has for you knows no bounds. You aren't just his girlfriend, you're his soulmate. He's convinced of it. The two of you are so different, but maybe that's why you work so well together.

He's depraved, filthy, and disgraceful. But you love him that way and wouldn't change him for the world.

[sulliedgracee]

oh oh uh hi are your asks open oh they are oh wow thats so cool may i request two timey wimey x reader who is a fucking loser. theyre loser loser. they go on 4chan and shit they're a total neet. they are the loserest loser who's ever losered. please and thenk you.

I cannot lie, this ask made me laugh. So here you go.

Two Time stumbled into your "office." It was more like a computer room than an office actually. It was 3 in the morning, Two Time had went to bed much earlier hoping you would have been in bed by now. However, much to their dismay, you were still awake and on the computer.

They gently tapped your shoulder, scaring you a little bit. "Oh hi, honey..." You said as you yawned. You were oh so tired but you did not want to sleep yet, there were so many things you wanted to do still....like look at pictures of cats. "Babeee..." They whined, "You really need to start going to bed earlier..." You huffed, "It's fine! I don't have work until later anyways..." Two Time sighed, sitting down in the chair next to yours. Of course the chair you were sitting in was a gamer chair.

"You know I only ask you to sleep early is because I care about you, right?" Two Time said, leaning their head on your shoulder. You felt your cheeks get red. You always thought that your partner was super cute and they were sleepy like this...it was almost like your weakness. That and cute cats on the internet. "...I know." You frowned. "Do you want me to come to bed with you, honey?" "Mhm...I miss you. The bed isn't as comfortable without you in it." You couldn't help but giggle at that.

You slowly get up, with the help of your partner of course. They hold your hand gently as they lead you into your bedroom. They hop into bed first, patting the side where you usually lay. "Come here! I wanna cuddle you already..." They said, sleepily. They looked at you with pleading eyes. You happily oblige, throwing yourself into bed with your partner. You face them and smile. "I love you...I hope you know that." You say. They get closer, wrapping their arms around you. You pull up the covers before you do the same, holding them close in your arms. "I love you too, honey..." They say as they slowly drift to sleep. You kiss them gently before doing the same yourself, knowing that you'll get to see them again in the morning.

(Shoutout to our Two Time headmate for helping me write this! <3)

[prettyboykatsuki-moved]

i think i just have to admit i love rin why does this happen to me

[chlix]

juno

bf! minho x fem! reader: you have baby fever. your boyfriend wants to be with you forever. turns out you can kill 2 birds with 1 stone

genre: fluff, crack, suggestive (MDNI, explicit dialogue)

word count: 3.3k

warnings/tags: pregnancy scare, jokes about a breeding kink, marriage proposal, y/n is a little spoiled i gotta admit, this one is all over the place ya'll

a/n: minho's fic in my album series! this one is based on "juno". y/n is a LOT in this one but i found it way more fun and fitting to the song to write her that way rather than actually being down to earth and reasonable lol

You’re out at a mall with your friend Jia, having a lazy day shopping and eating overpriced food from the shops in the central plaza. It's been a while since you had time to bum around with her, and your boyfriend, Minho, had said he'd drive you there and take care of his own errands while he waited. He'd even handed you his second credit card and told you to get whatever you wanted, much to Jia's amusement. You wish you were more put off by him flaunting his money, but unfortunately you passed that point long ago. It's also due to the fact that his money is much appreciated at this point in your life. Currently, you’re a bit of a NEET; after you had to quit your last job, you’ve been doing little except sitting at home, attempting TikTok recipes, doing housework and fantasizing about having things like hobbies and life goals aside from marrying your boyfriend.

“That’s nothing new for you, though,” your friend Jia says. “You inherited the suburban princess aesthetic from your mother.”

“You say that as if we weren't raised on the same street” you say, words thick around the spoon of froyo in your mouth. “We’re both suburban princesses.”

Your eyes roam around the mall, people watching as you often do. Next to the frozen yogurt place you had just visited, there is a mother with her small toddler at the counter. The mother is stylishly dressed, in cute jeans and a red sweater, and her daughter matches perfectly in a tiny little red turtleneck and a corduroy pinafore press. She’s wearing little charms in her hair and has a backpack with a bunch of dangly charms that jingle as she fidgets. She is eyeing the froyo on the counter with big eyes as she waits for her mother to pay for it, ever so patient and polite. The cashier waves at her and the toddler waves back.

“Stopppp, look at them. Isn’t that girl so cute?”

Jia follows your eyeline to the mother and daughter at the froyo counter.

“She is. I love how her and mom are matching.”

“I can’t wait to have a little mini-me that I can wear matching outfits with.”

“You and I wear matching outfits all the time.”

“Yes, but I want to do it with someone cute.”

Jia’s eyes roll so hard that you know it must’ve hurt.

“Since when do you want kids, y/n?”

“Since always. Or I don’t know. Maybe I just was worried that it would be difficult? Or that I’d never find the right guy? But I think Minho would be a good father, so it’s kind of made me think about it again.”

“He seems like he’d be good with kids.”

“When we babysit my nephew, he’s really good with him. And he’s always been so attentive to me in everything, so I just know he would double down during pregnancy. He’d take bullets for me. He’d protect me, he’d bring me all my favorite foods he’d take care of me-”

“He really should be doing that all the time, not just when you’re pregnant. Like, what kind of cavewoman logic is this? Are you in heat or something?”

You take another bite of your froyo and savor it.

You’ve known Jia forever, and at this point her comments to you about your love life just go in one ear and out the other. She’s the one who introduced you to Minho, actually, so you’d thought maybe she’d spare you the lectures, but she seems to think your impulsivity would overrule Minho’s common sense. This isn’t you being impulsive, though. You’ve actually thought about it an embarrassing amount- the concept of Minho fathering your children. It’s not just some passing fancy.

When you’re thoroughly done enjoying your vanilla-passion fruit swirl, you deign to answer her.

“First of all, shut the fuck up. Second of all, no I’m not in heat. Is it so wrong to dream of motherhood? To yearn for something to care for?”

“You have three cats and seven potted plants.”

“I mean something that can love me back.”

“I’m telling Dori you said that.”

You ignore her, already lost in your little domestic fantasy. You could already imagine it. You could have a little girl who looked exactly like you. Or maybe just like you with Minho’s pretty eyes. You’ll develop all the “mom skills”, like sewing and kissing boo-boos and making baking soda volcanoes. And Minho would be there, giving her piggyback rides and pushing her on swing sets. He’d call both of you his “princesses” and you could take cute family photos for Christmas and mail them all your relatives. A perfect domestic life.

“Hello? Earth to y/n?”

You blink. Jia is looking at you with an exasperated expression.

“I’d ask you what you’re thinking about, but I already know.”

“Oh, really.”

“You only get that stupid expression on your face when you think about Minho.” Jia crumples up her trash and reaches behind her to throw it in a trash can. “Does he know you are having delusions of domesticity?”

“It’s not delusional. We’ve been together for like two years. We’ve talked about the future.”

“So he wants kids?”

“He wants whatever I want,” you say, and you can hear the lovesickness in your voice even before Jia lets out a long-suffering sigh.

“Go ask him to get you pregnant right now then. He seems like the type to think that’s really hot.”

“Everything I do is hot. I’m a catch. I’d look extra hot pregnant. Working so hard even when I’m just sitting around all day.”

“Your favorite activity.”

You wink cheekily. “Of course. You should give it a try sometime.”

“Give what a try?”

A familiar voice from behind you makes you perk up. You whip around to see your boyfriend in the flesh, coming up behind you. He’s finally arrived. His presence improves your mood by approximately one thousand percent. You can sit up straighter and breathe deeper. The sun shines brighter on your face. His pace is so leisurely that it’s driving you mad. You want to stand up and drag him closer to you, so that as much of you is touching you as possible. The meter between you feels like a nautical mile.

Christ, maybe you are in heat. You think it’s possible you’ve been permanently ovulating since you met Minho. Just seeing him coming has you contemplating breaking several civil laws.

Jia rats you out immediately. “We’re talking about pregnancy.”

“Oh.” Minho stops where he is, as if blocked by an invisible wall. “Is someone you know expecting?”

“Not yet,” Jia says.

“Jia,” you hiss.

Jia ignores you, revenge for forcing her to listen to you for the past half hour.

“Y/n thinks that pregnancy suits her lifestyle. She thinks she’d look hot pregnant. What’s your opinion on the topic?”

“Don’t answer that,” you tell him. “Jia, come on.”

Jia shrugs. “I don’t think it’s that crazy of a question. Your boyfriend should think you look hot all the time.”

“And I do,” Minho interjects, smiling slyly. “Especially right now, as you’re staring daggers at me.”

Jia leans up and stage whispers to Minho, eyes still trained on you. “She specifically said ‘extra hot’, just so you know.”

“I struggle to think she could get any hotter,” Minho says in answering stage whisper. “She’d look equally pretty frozen solid, or zombified.”

 “You know the saying is ‘until death do us part?’ You don’t have to keep loving her as a zombie.”

You try to be annoyed but you’re too busy cheesing for it to have any effect. “Okay haha fun’s over. Take me home now.”

Jia boos you as Minho grabs your hand to help you off the bench.

“As you wish,” he says, and kisses your hand with a flourish.

“I’ve gotta get going too. See you later, y/n.” She stands up and grabs her bag, then pauses and turns back. “If you’re pregnant the next time I see you, I will kill you.”

“You seriously give me no credit.”

Jia gives you an absolutely withering look and walks off.

“I shouldn’t have even brought it up,” you say mournfully. “She’s gonna start keeping tabs on me.”

“We’ll lock our doors and windows,” Minho says, and presses a kiss to your hair. “Home?”

Later that night, you’re lying on the couch searching up pictures of baby clothes. You have an entire Pinterest board for your future baby, and today’s scene at the park has inspired you to add to the collection. You scroll through little images of kids in duck outfits and Hello Kitty themed socks, of cute little barrettes to put in their wispy bangs. Your kids are going to be so well-dressed. They’ll make the other toddlers at the daycare jealous, and maybe even the moms too.

That’s good, though. It’s important to learn how to deal with adversity from a young age.

Your daughter is gonna be so well socialized and assertive and thick-skinned, just like her parents. She’ll get such good grades and be very polite. And you’ll get to show up to parent teacher conferences as the hottest mom in the entire class, which will be good for your ego, and then you can pass that confidence down to your child. It’ll be perfect. Your life will be perfect. You can see it in such clear and vivid detail.

Minho passes by you on the way back from the bathroom and glances down at your phone.

“Baby clothes?”

You blink up at him. You’re not embarrassed at being caught, but you are a little annoyed that he’s interrupted your daydreaming with one of his gateway questions.

“Yes. Our future child has to be up on fashion trends.”

“The fashion trends will have changed by the time you have a baby to dress up.”

To your own surprise, your heart actually stutters with the reminder that you are currently not, in fact, with child.

“Don’t remind me,” you whine, rolling over to hide your face in the cushions. “Jia already lectured me today.”

“Lectured?”

You partially roll back over to look up at him. “She says that I’m being delusional for wanting a baby so badly.”

“How is wanting to be a mother delusional?”

“Right? And I told her like what are you talking about, we’ve already talked about the future, and we’re gonna have kids, and she just gave me this look.”

“Jia’s just looking out for you. She doesn’t want you to rush into things.”

“Jia is a cynic and a skeptic. She thinks we’re too young to have a baby.”

“Well, aren’t we?”

“Are we?” Your visions of being a MILF dance through your head. “I think having kids young would be cute.”

Now Minho looks skeptical. “Really? Since when.”

“Since I had a paradigm shift. I always knew I wanted them, in a vague sense. But now I know that I want to have them with you, specifically, so it’s been on my mind a lot more.”

“You want to have my kids?”

You bristle. “Well they’d be my kids, too, y’know.”

“I know that-”

“And who else’s kids would they be? Do you envision us breaking up?”

“Absolutely not,” Minho says. “You’re stuck with me forever.”

“Right. So then eventually I’ll be having your kids. I mean, if that’s okay with you.”

Minho sits down next to you on the couch. “That’s really what you want?”

“Yes?” A single pang of doubt flashes across your chest. “Do you not want that?”

“No, I do, baby. I’d love to have a family with you. I just want to be sure we’re on the same page, and we’ve thought it through.”

“Well, like you said, we’re still young.” Jia’s admonishment of not being married flashes through your mind. “But sometimes I see little kids in public, or on TV, and I think, God, I want a baby so bad. Y’know? I want to be pregnant. I want to glow like that, and everything.”

Something complicated passes over his face. A lightbulb goes off in your head. It’s the same expression that he had when Jia had mentioned to him the topic of your conversation.

“Oh my god. You actually do think I’d look hot pregnant.”

“Didn’t I say that at the mall?”

“No, you were teasing me. But now you’re being for real. You want to knock me up.”

Minho says nothing, but the tips of his ears redden. You shoot upright, delighted at the turn of events.

“Oh my god, you actually want to knock me up!”

“Would you rather I didn’t?”

“No! Of course not. I want to be the only girl you want, and I want you to want me in every way.”

“Well you are, and I do,” he says flatly. “Congratulations.”

“Congratulations is right,” you say. You’re giddy with energy. “Have you thought about it a bunch? Is that why you wanted me on the pill? So you could cum in me and indulge your breeding kink?”

“I don’t have a breeding kink.I just love you. There’s a difference.”

“You’ve said at least five times today you think I’d be hot while I’m pregnant,” you remind him. “Seems kind of breeding kink-ish to me.”

“You have spent the entire day fantasizing about having my kids. That’s the definition of a breeding kink.” Minho leans further into your space, and though his words are teasing, his tone is decidedly not. You feel heat start to run through you, and not from embarrassment. You scoot closer to him, pulled by magnetic forces beyond your comprehension.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m just life planning. I’m making vision boards.” The lie is so flimsy your lips trip as you try to say it.

“Uh-huh. Right. Because you normally start breathing heavy when you make vision boards.”

“This is unfair. Of course I’ll get turned on when you start talking like this.”

“Like what?” he says, leaning even closer. You can feel his breath on your face, and a shiver goes down your spine.

“Like you’re going to fucking breed me.”

His smile is absolutely feline. “That can be arranged.”

“Is that what you want?”

“Baby, I want whatever you want.”

You grab onto his shoulders, tight. “Then take me to bed, hot stuff.”

His eyes darken. A hand comes up to your face, and he kisses you gently. He grabs you by the hand…

and of course, he gives you what you want.

Your period is a week late.

It’s actually Minho who notices and points it out, which causes you to freak out and call Jia, who freaks out worse than you and demands that you go to the store immediately and buy a test. You get three different brands, and also an entire chocolate cake which will either be for congratulations or for emotional support.

Minho waits outside the bathroom door, an encouraging presence as you try to calm yourself down enough to read the labels.

“Whatever happens, I’m here,” he tells you. You can’t tell whether he wants it to be positive or negative. You aren’t even sure what you want. Yes, you want a baby, yes, babymaking sex is hot and you want to keep having it whether it gets you knocked up or not, but you’re both still young, and he has a career, and your apartment doesn’t have a third bedroom so there’d be nowhere for the nursery that you’ve already meticulously planned out in your mind-

The timer goes off. You open your eyes and look down.

“Negative,” you say, loud enough for Minho to hear outside the door. “All of them.”

Minho doesn’t say anything. You let out a deep breath, tension falling out of you, and open the door. Minho is on the other side, expression cautious.

“Is it bad that I’m a little disappointed?” he says, and his tone is joking but the words stick in your chest because you agree. The relief you expected to feel is nowhere to be found.

“I hope not, because that makes two of us.”

He draws you into a hug, and you sink into him, processing all the events of the last hour.

“And I was all ready to start building a crib.”

You snort. “Picking up carpentry as a hobby?”

“A real father should work with their hands. I need thick, callused hands to hold my baby with, so they feel smaller and daintier by comparison.”

“Wild thing to say, honestly.”

“It works on you.”

You break free and shove him playfully. “You’re ridiculous. You’d be a good father even with your soft city boy hands.”

“You think so?” he says, his tone heavier than before. You don’t even hesitate.

“Yes. Any child would be lucky to have you as a father.” You sigh dramatically. “Unfortunately it seems my uterus didn’t pull through this time.”

Minho is silent for a moment. “Well. We could…try again.”

You stare at him. “Sorry?”

“I mean, you said I’d be a good father. You said you wished the test was positive. I want that too. Just because it didn’t work this time doesn’t mean that-”

“Wait. Wait wait wait wait. Are you serious?” You’re gob smacked. You can’t believe that your usually cautious boyfriend is proposing you have a baby right now.

“I’m serious,” he confirms. “You’d be such a good mom. And I know how much you want this.”

“And you think I’d look hot pregnant.”

“Obviously,” he says, without a hint of jest.

“But I’m- we’re so young, and I’m unemployed, and-”

“Sorry, were you planning on getting a job any time soon?”

Your cheeks heat up. “Oh shut up.”

“No, it’s perfect. You can be a loving stay-at-home mom. I’ll be the breadwinner.”

“Stop it. Stop talking this way. You’re- do you know how pissed my friends would be? What would I tell Jia? She almost bit my head off over the phone earlier, did you hear her? She was so pissed that I was thinking of motherhood instead of marriage-”

“Then let’s get married.”

“Don’t start.”

“Y/n, I’m not joking.”

You actually think you’re going to faint. Your heart is racing and you’re breaking out in a sweat. Is it hot in here? Did you forget to pay the AC bill this month?”

“Are you proposing to me right now?” You’re trying to joke but you’re breathless. “You’re proposing to me as a gimmick to get me to bear your children?”

Minho cringes. “Saying it like that makes me sound manipulative.”

“It’s kinda manipulative.”

“You’re the one who said you wanted to be married before having kids. And I want to do both of those things with you eventually, so why not now?”

Your vision is blurring. For a moment you worry you actually are fainting, but then you realize that you’re crying instead.

“Stop playing with me, Minho, I’m so serious.”

“I’m not playing with you. I actually already bought a ring, but I didn’t know if the timing was right. Like you said, we’re young, and I didn’t know how you felt about getting married so soon. So I thought I’d ask eventually but-”

You lunge forward and kiss him. If you’d felt stressed earlier while taking the test, that’s nothing compared to the depth of emotion you’re feeling now as you hold each other. It’s like joy is filling you up so much that you don’t know where your body behind and ends.

When you finally separate, Minho asks,

“Is that a yes?”

“You’re not proposing to me in our living room,” you tell him. “You have to ask me again. Later. Don’t even show me the ring. Wait, what color is it? You know I only wear gold.”

“You think I’d forget something like that? I’m going to be your husband. I know what jewelry you wear.”

If he wasn’t holding you up, you think you’d actually collapse to the ground from the way you absolutely swoon.

“Propose to me again and I’ll say yes. Right now, I need you to put a baby in me.”

“You want to walk down the aisle pregnant? Your dream wedding dress has a corset.”

“Oh my god, we’ll do it before I start showing, just fuck me, please!”

Minho doesn’t make you ask a third time.

[2-dsimp]

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Yandere adventurer x princess reader

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Cw: fem reader! Princess reader! jealousy, possessive/obsessive, yandere townsfolk, Zexius fighting for his life, murderous tendencies, slight gore,

Synopsis: 【on this fateful day you were threatened to be the sacrificial bride of a mythical beast. In order to save your minor kingdom from destruction. However, in a turn of events you got saved by an unruly adventurer dressed in none other than his boxers. it was love at first sight. Although many of your subjects opposed it.】

☆*:.｡..｡.:*☆ ☆*:.｡..｡.:*☆ ☆*:.｡..｡.:

Zexius was a blight to his family adventurers guild. He was blessed with unfathomable potential. Alongside His family of 6 with him taking center stage as the shitty eldest brother. However, not many would get to see his potential being put to action. Since he’s a lazy fucker who wants to be a NEET for the rest of his life.

His family was loaded so why the hell did he even need to go outside and save the world from miscreants? That’s what hero’s like Adonis the Sunset Knight are for.

Not to mention he had a sucky personality, bad hygiene, his only good redeeming features would be his face he inherited from his parents. But even he’d got that covered up by his hair.

His life motto was to live unseen so hardships never bother him unprovoked. So he lived as a nameless NPC often making his parents namely his mother, Mooni, wring his neck in frustration. Dangling his ass out the window of their castle from the highest level.

“You’ve been holed up in that room of yours for months young man! Go outside and— what’s that slang you youngins use again? Ah right… Stop gooning!”

“Ma! Seriously! Who even told you about that slang? You’re too old to be acting so cringeeeeeeeeee!??”

Zexius all but screeched be catapulted by the scruff into the far off distance like a shooting star. Yelling curses like a lich obsessed with getting revenge on those beyond its grave.

While dusting off her hands with a huff of satisfaction, her laid back husband, Jakeo, stumbled upon the scene. Ultimately he just shrugged before minding his business. Already used to the extreme mother-son spats, definitely not because he forgot to take out the trash. And was trying to save his ass from being thrown out like a rocket just like his eldest son.

“Jakeooooo, don’t act like, I don’t got eyes in the back of my head. What happened to trash day?”

“…Listen hear me out—“

—-/——————

At this point Zexius was having airtime for so long he was bored. He estimated that he passed up 3 great territories already. Yawning while still zooming within the air until he widened his bloodshot eyes in surprise. His limbs failing seeing that he was headed straight towards a malicious mythical beast. Who was currently attempting at stealing the a kingdoms princess as ransom.

“I dare any of you insignificant humans to step to me, the princess now belongs to the great Orisha! You should kiss the ground in thanks that I didn’t devour you all—“

Suddenly the mythical beast paused, his many eyes trained on the bloody individual who stood off to the side with a tired expression on his face. Carrying a pulsating piece of flesh that drawfed half his body. Their heart, Not to mention that guy looked like a cave dweller and was only wearing his lame boxers and a tattered tank top.

“Shit sorry man, your fatass heart was in the way so I had to uh remove it to get out. But hey I’ll give it back to ya so no hard feelings?”

Zexius offered animatedly, he could already feel a dreadful headache coming from the aftermath of what’ll happen to his quiet carefree life of self indulgence. Seeing he had pierced through the beasts chest like an arrow, leaving a gaping hole.

“Damn youuuuu, how could I the great Orisha be defeated by a mere bum?! This amount of shame you brought on me has no remedy!”

The adventurer pinched his nose in exasperation, the NEET truly hoped that the beast had another heart. He could just dip like nothing happened. The townsfolk be damned since it wasn’t his problem. But sadly it wasn’t the case he actually killed it in one shot. Not just any beast a mythical one at that.

“I’ll curse you and your next of kin!… well that’s what I’d normally do to a worthy and presentable opponent.”

“Oi Oi Oi what the hell’s that supposed to mean? Excuse the fuck outta me for not bein dressed to impress. But I didn’t expect to be out here anyways. “

Ignoring Zexius’s attempts at explaining himself, Orisha merely rolled his many eyes. Seeing his magnificent body fading away like speckled star dust into the wind.

“Haa I actually pity you, with my minds eye it’s enough to tell that you’ll remain a forever alone. So it’d be a waste to curse you farewell fool.”

The adventurer veins popped on his forehead immediately crushing the beasts pulsating heart.

“YOU— CURSE ME! CURSE ME ALREADY, YOU BIG BITCH! I’m not a lost cause, damn you! Just you wait, I’ll make you regret not cursing me when you had the chance!”

Zexius raged, Even going as far as to spit and stomp on the lump of flesh upon the ground. growing more irritable from its croaking fits of laughter.

The beast collapsed, fading away into nothingness drooping you into the hands of your savior. Who caught you by reflex and was already sweating being in proximity to a pretty thing like you. You were exactly his type, and he didn’t know how to handle it.

He wasn’t a gentleman and he’d gotten used to being labeled as unredeemable gnat. By the other neighboring princesses because he treated them like their royal reputation didn’t mean anything.

Being so blunt about how they weren’t his type at all. Not even doing the customary greeting since he’d just smack their hand with a nonchalant low high five. With a sneer on his face as he said that he wasn’t gonna be kissing an uggo’s hand.

Immediately he got on the blacklist no-marriage list throughout most neighboring territories. Which made his mother weep in frustration after having set up those marriage meetings for it to go to waste. While his father merely laughed alongside his younger brothers Wagam, Yeon, and Ueul at how he had no rizz.

Not to mention he was wearing his damned boxers. After years of finally finding the right princess who hit all his criteria at a glance. The last thing he’d wanna do is embarrass himself. He was praying to the gods to have that cliche where the damsel falls for the hero at first sight. just like in those isekai novels he’d read in his spare time.

His train of thought was interrupted by the king who stepped forward. Cringing at the sight of the bum who somehow saved their kingdom. But coughing into his hand to save face he must act as a benevolent ruler and thank the one responsible for their safety.

“Ahem! Thank you, for saving my precious daughter and my people we’re forever in your debt bum—I mean esteemed adventurer. Whatever it’s you want we’ll happily supply you with—“

“Yeah, yeah, no need to make a big deal outta it. I only want one thing, your daughter’s hand in marriage.”

The NEET said bluntly with a blank faced expression, still holding you in a princess carry. If the King rejected then he’d just haul ass and kidnap you on the spot. There was no way he was going to let you outta his sights. Not when you were everything he was wishing for. Plus it make his mother get off his back about not having any grandkids for her to spoil in the foreseeable future.

“Oi Oi what’s with the hostile attitude! Y’all are some ungrateful people, you said you’d give me anything! So why the hell are you readying a battle axe man!”

In hindsight he could understand why the people were already gathering their pitch forks and discarded weapons. The look on their faces was of pure spite, like someone pissed in their cheerios. Despite him saving their lives, it felt as if they’d rather die than see their precious beloved princess. who was clearly loved by the subjects be married to someone who they recognized to be on the no-marriage list.

Narrowing his eyes he widened his stance. He wasn’t afraid to catch a fade with all of the kingdoms people woman, man, child. He didn’t give a fuck, plus he could tell it was a small kingdom on the outskirts. So it’s not like anyone would tell if it happened to somehow disappear right?

Though it would be unfortunate if he killed his father in law in front of you. He could easily ask one of his brothers who’s an aspiring mage to preform a memory wipe on you. After all his family’s blessed with the best of abilities hailing from the direct line legendary adventures before them.

“Lay down your weapons! Father you said you’d give him anything he’d want, it’d be a disgrace to the royal code to not honor that!”

You piped up, with a stern expression on your face which Zexius found to be so adorable. It made him grin like a lovesick idiot seeing his future bride stand up for him. Hell it even made him tear up a bit as nobody had ever done that for him in his years of living. Which only solidified how you were the only one for him.

“Sweetie listen, that thing isn’t even fit to be your husband! It’s best to kill him where he stands and for goodness sakes he’s a bum! He must’ve did some kinda dirty trick, there’s no way he defeated Orisha so easily!”

“Silence! Don’t you dare call my fiancée a bum show some respect, all of you! Or else I’ll leave this kingdom and never come back!”

“Alright alright! Anything but that forgive us! My sweet daughter! Everyone stand down!”

The King urged frantically, everyone followed suit disgruntled as they seethed silently at the smug adventurer. But they’d be devastated if the crown jewel of their small kingdom were forever lost. However, the king was adamant in keeping you and him separated for as long as possible.

So he made up a thorough bullshit contract, a test of faith one may say. Which states that if Zexius could spend five years doing long distance with his princess. Then he’d voluntarily allow you to go stay at his residence.

Zexius didn’t like dealing with unnecessary struggles but for you he’d give it his all. By the time you’d meet again he’d be ready to expel 5 years of yearning for his bride to be.

.

.

.

Part 2? 👀

[theartofsimpatry]

Streamer!Sub!Shigaraki X Dom!Reader 🔞‼️

-He’s a perverted NEET otaku

-He plays League of Legends and streams it for a good chunk of people/fans

-But little did his audience know that he also uses those perverted webcam chatrooms and uses their donations to pay for it

-He pays $50 per chatroom session for you from the other side of the world to tell him what to do with his cock

-He loves being told what to do by you… makes him feel wanted

-$50 wasnt too much… $25 for extra time would be a steal… right?

-You told him to use his onahole with temperature changing lube and he came so hard that he felt his abdomen muscles ache

-He wants you to come out of his screen and step on his cock and use him like some type of toy

-The orders from you started to get more extreme, next thing was jerking off his cock with toothpaste, he had a hard on the entire time he was gathering the supplies for you and him

-$150 more dollars for this session, he’s a loyal customer to you.

-Next is going onto a train with a small vibrator in his ass, he had to wear baggy clothes and a face mask to just in case someone noticed him. He sent pictures to you of the mess he made in his pants afterwards.

-You would praise him every time he did something right, it made him feel so good…

-More orders… One where you control the vibrator in his ass as he plays his games on livestream

“I’m gonna have to get this- gUY!… mmmh.” “Th-thank you for the do-dona-donation” “…c-can i get a hELL y-yeah?” “Ahhh.. AH!… this game is so hard…”

[totokoismyfav]

hi i have a request for headcanons :] how would the sextuplets react to an s/o who is objectively a functional member of society (job and/or school, booming social life, well liked, etc) but for some reason simps really hard for them. it can by goofy or not, depends on what you think!

osomatsu san/reader | reader who is a functional member of society who is head over heels for the brothers

A functional member of society in love with a NEET? Oh, what a thought! All of them equally are just as infatuated with you, maybe even more so as you are just shining with confidence and wit. So imagine their surprise when you finally ask them to be your boyfriend! They all react differently so let’s see up close and personal.

Osomatsu: - How are you with him, seriously? Everyone wants to know. - A shitty NEET with such bad habits like gambling and drinking and you looked in his direction? He’s just as shocked as everyone else to be honest. - Although, he’s not complaining one bit.  - Proudly parades you around in front of his brothers, like damn he might as well have won the lottery. - Oh, they are so jealous by the way. - At first, he doesn’t really change besides that but a little bit into your relationship, he starts making small changes and working up to the big ones.  - At first, it’s picking up after himself and doing more chores around the house, then it’s actually looking for jobs and talking about moving out one day. - Soon enough, he ends up doing just that and moves in with you, even holding a job and stops complaining about it all the time. - He’s trying, for you, and that is a lot coming from him. 

Karamatsu:  - Oh, be prepared anon.  - This man will make it known that he is just as much in love with you back.  - Things like surprise flowers and gifts show up at your work’s front desk, only the best for his Karamatrsu darling! - “Oh my darling flower, it makes my heart palpitate just to know how much you adore me!”  - Of course, you are eating up every cheesy line and equally spoiling him despite his surprise when you do so, despite still living with his mother he’s not used to being spoiled like this. - Like you swear you saw tears when you gave him a gift on your first date, and it was something so simple too. A guitar pick with yours and his initials on it. He swears to use it all the time, and he does, especially when he serenades to you. He even started to freak out when the image on it started to fade.  - At first, he refuses to let you pay for things even though you have a job and he doesn’t. After a few high-priced dates, he finally lets you help with the costs and even slightly enjoys being spoiled by you. - To still help out and spoil you, he even starts working at a nearby clothing store. - Your love is so annoying to everyone around you but the both of you don’t care, not one bit. 

Choromatsu: - To his non-existent calculations, you two should NOT be a thing, but he doesn’t care at this point. - He’s also kinda jealous of you? Like you’re everything he wants to be but he quickly gets over that once you ask him out.  - At the beginning of your relationship, he is constantly stuttering and sweating from his nerves but he’s over the moon about finally dating you, he always has his signature smile on his face.  - When you start holding hands, you can physically feel his whole body shake just from your palm against his.  - Of course, you are no better as you are in LOVE with this man. - You’re both a couple who are head over heels for one another and very much show it instead of saying it. - It took you guys weeks just to say ‘I love you’ which ended in you running away with your hands covering your face and Choromastu shouting to the night sky of how he was in love.  - He also starts to become a functional member of society (with your help and motivation). - Soon enough, he’s living with you and has a job of his own, and surprisingly to him he couldn’t be happier getting out of the NEET lifestyle he was in for so long. 

Ichimatsu:  - He can barely believe it himself, how could someone like you be in love with him? - You were a knockout, a functional member of society and he was just a shitty NEET, a nobody who no one wants. You must be fucking around with him.   - And he really thinks that at first, it takes a bit of persuasion for him to believe you are actually infatuated with him.  - On your first date, he would sit tables away from you as you drank a milkshake. His face turned bright red as he tried to sip from four tables away with a long straw. - You would simply smile at him, telling him it’s ok to get closer and that you were truly interested in dating him. - Soon enough, you two were doing regular couple stuff like holding hands and regularly going on dates.  - As you both get further into the relationship you notice he starts to really change things, Ichimatsu even gets a job at a local cat cafe. - Soon enough, he’s living with you and holding down a job he actually enjoys (although interacting with people still irks him).  - Although, when you first asked him to spend the night at your house, he spontaneously combusted right on the bench. 

Jyushimatsu:  - Oh ho ho! This man is ecstatic! - His brothers swear that he’s been faster with his batting swing when you both start dating. - It’s like he has a new form of motivation when practicing baseball, running faster, swinging harder and throwing farther all at the same time. - He also seems happier than usual (somehow) , his smile widening whenever he sees you and your wonderful face.  - Will point you out to his brothers whenever he sees you, like he’s bragging or something. “Ha ha look, it’s my partner! Do you see them, huh? Huh?”  - He also starts working as well, hoping to start working as a baseball player in the future. - With your help, he eventually works up to that point and starts playing in local leagues!

Todomatsu:  - Oh he’s the most smug out of all of them. - Of course, he has no idea why you looked in his direction but he’s so glad you did.  - When you told him you were in love with him, he dropped his coffee you two had gotten minutes prior. Of course, he spilled it all over you and profusely apologized about it while helping to clean you up. - Luckily, it was iced so it didn’t burn or anything so you simply just smiled and told him he was fine and it was ok.  - Totally rubs it in his brother's faces, just like Oso and Jyushi but he’s more of a bitch about it.  - “Oh would you look at that, I have a partner now who’s actually interested in me. Score one for the youngest!” - He actually got a scoreboard for it too, the bastard. - He eventually goes back to Sutabaa, working the same position he did before. - He’s officially out of NEET status when he moves in with you and he’s so happy about it as he went up a level as a human once more!

[ofloveandstardust]

Older Trio + Affectionate!Reader

This has been sitting in my drafts for a while, so I'll just be posting it,,, The original request was basically how all the brothers would react to a very very affectionate s/o. However, I only got up to the first three, so...yeah,,,

cw: just pure fluff, a hint of suggestiveness (if you squint, but also, it's Oso, so...)

Osomatsu

Someone wants to initiate the touches??? With him??? SCORE!!! He is ascending with this discovery and will absolutely drink up all the affection given. Will be the type to enjoy some PDA and of course, he will be a little shit and brag- But still, he's putty in your hands with the touches and will return the favor, *wink*. Pushing the jokes aside, when he's at his most darkest moments, he appreciates the love that you give him.

Karamatsu

He cried when you gave him a very gracious hug to him. This man is very soft when it comes to affection because he craves it (and deserves it). Karamatsu is not used to these sort of touches, so it always makes his heart swell anytime you hold his hand, kiss his cheek, run a hand through his hair as he lays on your lap, cuddle him, just anything that reminds him that you love him very much.

Choromatsu

The third Matsu brother could not handle it simply because he's a freakin NEET with no history of having a relationship. So for him, you'll have to start with something small like hand holding and the two of you will keep advancing until he can actually remain composed when you give him a full fledged kiss. He absolutely loves it when you kiss his face softly when he's stressing out.

[yawnderu]

Can we get more NEET reader but maybe a NEET that's a khv? Like a permavirgin reader being absolutely weird with Simon.

“Right...” Simon's face was scrunched up in nothing but pure confusion at your question, slightly bewildered at the audacity to even ask, when he would've done it if you'd done as much as just give him a hint.

His arms wrap around your waist, bringing you down to his lap and laying down once you seem comfortable, adjusting his position so you're straddling his waist rather than resting on his groin. His free hand goes to cup the back of your head, bringing you as close as possible to his chest, not bothered by sniffles escaping your nose.

“''S okay.” He reassures, his tone growing softer by the second as he feels your body shaking from above him, rubbing soothing circles all over your back. At first, he thought you were crying, giving him a pleading look while asking for cuddles the same you used to do when you were both kids, yet the longer it goes on, he realizes it's something else entirely.

“... Y'sniffin' me?” He wasn't even bothering to hide the smugness bleeding into his tone the moment he felt your nose buried into his armpit.

“... No?” Simon lets out a small chuckle, shaking his head out of pure disbelief. It isn't the first time you do something odd— he's used to being sniffed by you like a search dog, ever since he first joined the military, not a single trace of disgust even when he came back dirty and sweaty.

“Y'could'va asked.” He pushes you closer to him, forcing your face deeper into his sweaty armpit despite your struggle, a small smirk pulling up the corners of his lips at your scrunched up face, fake gags escaping your lips at his naturally strong smell.

[hibiscuslovecandles]

✿MY LOVE✿| BSD

Genre:Fluff,parenting,crack,GN!READER Warnings:Children,babies,not proofread,may be ooc,Let me know if there's any warning I missed! Featuring:Chuuya Nakahara, Edgar Allan Poe, Gin Akutagawa, Doppo Kunikida Note:My next headcanon post after this might come out pretty damn late, I've been a neet for 3 years and I'm being forced to get a job and get a drivers permit so it'll take awhile

🍷When you mentioned wanting to have kids while the two of you were watching a movie together cuddled up on the couch together while drinking wine nearly made him choke on his wine. You two had a good hour long conversation on the topic of kids.

🍷After waiting some time for Chuuya to be mentally prepared for the responsibilities that come with being a parent, he brought up the topic again. That's how you ended up becoming parents.

🍷When they were still a baby it was common to see Chuuya sitting on the playmat with them humoring the infants nonsense and making sure they didn't swallow anything that could kill them.

🍷Whenever the baby would cry in the middle of the night Chuuya always would insist that you stay in bed while he goes to check. 20 minutes would pass and you'd see Chuuya in the rocking chair of the nursery, baby in his arms, fast asleep.

🍷Will take so much pride if the baby says their first words in his presence. It doesn't need to be dada or anything any word and he has the most stupid smile you've ever seen on his face.

🍷Makes sure you and the baby are safe at all costs, the apartment is COMPLETELY baby proof, Chuuya is even mildly offended if you say he's doing too much.

🍷You don't know that Chuuya has a entire folder on his phone dedicated to you and the baby, you don't that these photos were even taken since they were all taken when you preoccupied with the baby like when you're giving them a bath or you building a sand castle with them at the beach, of course he has photos of the two most important people in his life.

🍷Chuuya was sadly….out on business when they took their first steps, when you two video called that night per routine you told him and Chuuya felt like shit for not being there for it….then there was the baby hitting the screen of your phone not quite understanding why Chuuya is inside a rectangle.

🍷When Chuuya returned the first thing he needed was to see his baby and when you placed the baby on the ground and he saw his baby waddle towards him, he wanted to cry, but he didn't it just holding his baby once they reached him.

🍷You are required to send him photos whenever you and the baby are doing something and he can't be there. Send him that photo of the baby on the swing set, send him the photo of the baby flipping through those baby books, send it!!!

🍷He has photos of all three of you together in his wallet. There's nothing he loves more.

🍷Was originally strongly against diaper duty but now takes it upon himself to do it.

🍷Reads all the ingredients used on the back of the baby food and makes sure nothing in the baby bottles you guys buy has any remotely harmful chemicals. He can't lose this one thing.

🍷And a baby grows into a child.

🍷Whenever he's scolding your child for doing something bad and he gets too frustrated he'll have you take the reigns since he wants to avoid taking his anger out on his child.

🍷Chuuya might not be around often due to his uh…position at work but once his kid starts developing interests he keeps those intact. His child into animals? Taking them to the zoo next week. His kid into sports? Signing them up for baseball as soon as possible.

🍷Whenever Chuuya feels like he missed out on something due to work he'll lay next to you in bed and ask you if he's a bad dad while just looking at the ceiling.

🍷Chuuya is the dad that his kid has no memory of ever seeing him cry when they get older. Mostly because he only really cries by himself and occasionally in your arms in bed.

🍷Has scared off multiple people he thinks were getting too close to his kid.

🍷You have a photo of a completely unbothered Chuuya sitting on the couch reading as your kid is practically climbing him with their blanket as a make shift cape.

🍷Chuuya is always there for whenever you need some you time and just need a break and is completely understanding. He'll take you out for a nice relaxing night out as a close friend of yours watches over your kid granted Chuuya was very hesitant to leave your kid. Not a single hair on their head will be hurt without someone dying.

🍷Whenever your kid comes home from school having a bad day they know they can tell Chuuya as he will hold them close and rub their back and whisper reassuring words as he listens.

🍷When the two of you got called by the school only you could go and pick up your kid since Chuuya was busy doing stuff. Your child got into a fight on the playground is what you told Chuuya when you got home and seeing him washing his hands of…stuff in the kitchen sink, Chuuya was proud of his kid, not for fighting that's bad, but for winning said fight.

🍷 “Did they win?”

🍷 “Not the point Chuuya.”

🍷 “I know but-”

🍷Will sit down and talk to them as to why fighting is wrong and why they shouldn't do it unless absolutely necessary his job doesn't count.

🍷Always tries his best to get your kid the best gift on their birthday. It's like a competition for you two just without any stakes.

🍷Chuuya puts your kid into private school for their entire life, only wanting the very best for your kid.

🍷You could be busy sitting with your kid helping them with their math homework at the dining table and you'll suddenly feel a pair of lips on your cheek. Chuuya returning from a uh…business trip earlier than expected and surprising the both of you!

🍷Chuuya will take a mental photo whenever he sees you and your child sleeping because your child was scared of the thunderstorm outside and wanted to sleep with you two. Seeing the way your child is curled up into your chest and you snoring away is a sight he'll cherish. He loves you two so much.

🦝When you mentioned kids to Poe you had to catch him when he fainted…..it took him quite awhile to warm up to the idea of kids mostly because he's worries if he'll be a good father, he was on board with kids after alot of time but you didn't mind, kids are alot of work and fragile so of course he's hesitant.

🦝The way it was brought up was when he cooking dinner and you were just getting home from work, he had been building up the courage all day so when he heard that front door open he yelled from the kitchen that he was ready for kids…you hadn't even taken off your shoes yet, when you entered the kitchen and asked him to repeat himself because what the fuck was that he was so embarrassed from how he mentioned the topic back up that he refused to even look at you.

🦝Poe had to be taught by you on how to hold a baby and when he looked down into his arms and he saw the warm, squishy, soft, mini human in the fluffy blanket he let out tears of joy, you couldn't really tell though since how hysterically he was crying.

🦝Despite him originally being WAY more opposed to having kids than you were he knows way more about babies than you, having read only the finest books on babies and honestly might mansplain at you about your baby.

🦝Should you leave your baby with a racoon?probably not but when you and Poe both are trying to figure out what's wrong with the bathroom sink there's Karl in the doorway giving your baby a bottle. You're so glad you got a picture of that.

🦝The first time Ranpo came face to face with your baby was when he was going to leech off you two again by crashing at your guy's place and when Poe opened the door he immediately noticed the baby crying in your arms trying to calm them down. Ranpo pushed past Poe just to poke. Poke at your baby and they stopped???

🦝Poe goes to those mommy support groups and it's honestly surreal to see him at the park with all his mom friends talking about their pediatricians.

🦝Whenever Poe makes a mistake like being too loud infront of the baby it keeps him up at night and him muttering about how your baby is going to cut him off as soon as possible and you have to put a stop to this thinking.

🦝Has a photo album dedicated to your baby's growth.

🦝Despite them being a baby and not being able to understand what's being said to them yet Poe reads them bed time stories.

🦝You were playing in the snow with your baby while Poe was inside working on his novel when they said their first words and you rushed inside, baby in arms, to get them repeat their words to Poe and when they do Poe snatched them from your arms and showered their face in so many kisses.

🦝The two of you turned your back from the baby for two seconds while adding a new wall decoration to the nursery when you guys hear Karl make a ear piercing squeal and when you two whipped around the last thing you two expected to see was your baby standing on Karl's tail- wait what. The moment was quickly over when your baby fell back on their bum and cried from how loud Karl was. The two of you were so happy for their first steps less happy about all the yelling but this'll be a fond memory in the future.

🦝Babyhood to childhood.

🦝Hes kind of a push over, if his child begs enough he will buy them whatever they want its usually up to you or Karl to slap some sense into him Karl in a more literal sense to make sure they don't grow up spoiled.

🦝Ranpo ends up being the uncle to sneak candy or a dollar to your kid whenever he sees them to which you scold him and your child. Considering how often Ranpo freeloads off you and Poe he might as well be another child.

🦝Poe is still in contact with the moms from his mom-baby classes and takes your child to play dates with the other moms children.

🦝On his desk are photos of your child on their birthday and a photo of you and him on your wedding day.

🦝Ranpo and Karl are a surprisingly good babysitting duo whenever you and Poe just want a night to yourselves because believe it or not having to make sure a fun sized human with the survival skills of a cabbage doesn't die can be stressful though you and Poe never find out all the hijinks that happen on those nights cause Ranpo bribes your kid to not say anything about the three of them getting lost in a city one hour from your home.

🦝He reads as many books and observes how you handle things whenever it comes to having to disciplining your child so that he can feel like a actually good parent, he looks up to you so much you don't even know.

🦝He still showers your child's face with kisses even if they do start getting embarrassed by it.

🦝He has taken it upon himself to homeschool your child, changing his schedule for his child, being very hands on like taking your kid outside for science lessons :)

🦝One time when Poe was busy writing he walked out his office to see you covered in scratches, you got them when you tried to get Karl to match clothes with your kid. Poe tended to your scratches.

🦝The horror that appeared on both your faces when you two noticed your child was in the bathroom for a weird amount of time so you guys went to check and they were cutting their own hair. Rest of their childhood from then on they had short hair.

🦝Multiple bags filled with clothes that your kid has grown out of that Poe refuses to get rid. Just reminds him of how tiny they used to be.

🦝Poe got into the habit of eating baby food when your kid was still a baby and only recently has stopped.

🦝Immediately hugged your child when they fell off their bike for the first time while learning.

🦝Poe likes answering questions about basic things that your child asks like why is the fridge light only on when you open it? Why can't he play right now? He just finds these questions about simple things that any adult understands amusing.

🦝Poe's heart gets all mushy whenever he sees you tucking your child in. He has it all.

🔪When you mentioned children to Gin while the two of you were making dinner together she froze in place, tears began to poke out of her eyes and it wasn't because of the onions she was cutting, she needed space and time to think it over and so you stepped back.

🔪You were suprised when months after you initially asked the question she gave a answer to your question while the two of you were on a ice skating date. You completely forgot about it so when she told you she thinks ready you were really confused. You aren't confused anymore now that you two are parents.

🔪You'll come home to a eerily silent house and just witness Gin sitting on the living room floor just watching your baby.

🔪Gin triple checks to make sure the car seat is secure before driving.

🔪Ryuunosuke has affections for your baby, after all their family and will protect them with his life, but has he ever supported the weight of the baby in his own two arms? Absolutely not. The closest he's got to holding them was using rashomon to take them when you forcibly handed the baby to him while you scrambled to turn the stove off after you realized you left it on and even them he put the baby on the ground next to him immediately.

🔪She is aware that the nature of her job might prevent her from spending time with you two so she always tries to keep things as snappy and clean as possible so she can make it home in time for dinner.

🔪Whenever you tired after taking care of the baby she'll gladly run you a nice bath and wash your back for you.

🔪You two have a entire manual prepared just in case you guys have to leave your baby with Ryuunosuke.

🔪Gin is very hesitant to give the baby any sugar but does feed them sugar every once in awhile for good behavior due to you convincing her.

🔪She gushes over your baby's first words, you were coming back from hanging out with friends and see her gently pinching your baby's cheeks and you don't even get to ask what's up when the baby repeats the word again.

🔪Prides herself in being the best mother ever.

🔪The baby was sleeping in bed with the two of you once and cried seeing Gin sleep with her eyes open. Fun memory years later, Not fun in the moment.

🔪You have a photo of her sleeping on the couch with the baby sleeping in the position as her under her arm, she'll never know you have this photo.

🔪A baby eventually turns into a child.

🔪Gin is the one who styles the kid’s hair.

🔪Has a photo of your kid on the first day of school as her lockscreen.

🔪Your kid is in public school, Gin just wants your kid to have a normal average average childhood.

🔪Takes everything her kid says very seriously, the kid could be talking about the most recent episode of their favorite show and she'll be listening intently.

🔪Please give her a head massage at the end of the day she deserves it considering her job and the kid.

🔪Whenever your kid does something bad Gin calmly sits down and explains why what the did was bad and why they shouldn't do it again ignore her job details .

🔪Your child's playdates just make Gin happy to see her child enjoy something she never did.

🔪If she gets home earlier than expected she'll help your kid with their homework.

🔪Your child has most definitely said “Eewwwww!” seeing you two slow dance together

🔪No one knows about you or your kid's existence. She stays private about it and wants to keep you two safe.

📒He was the one to mention kids to you when the two of you were getting ready for bed, he's financially and mentally ready to have a child are you? He handled the conversation with you with much care and if you ever got overwhelmed during the conversation he'd help calm you down.

📒Kunikida made sure to spend days talking about this subject with you since having a child is a life altering event. And now the life altering event is here.

📒He does those little baby leg exercises every morning before work so that your baby has enough leg strength for when they start walking.

📒Kunikida is not embarrassed to wear a baby carrier.

📒You were caught having one of the babies snacks and Kunikida snatched it away saying it was for the baby not you!

📒Doesn't mention you or the baby unless someone asks and when they do he talk about the two of you with so much pride.

📒When the day with the baby was particularly exhausting Kunikida will cup your face and tell you that you're doing a amazing job and only shower you with praise about how he admires your strength.

📒Kunikida and you were at the park having a picnic as a date together when you got a call from the family member that was baby sitting for the two of you that your baby took their first steps. Kunikida wanted to immediately get up and go see for himself but he didn't, this day was about you two celebrating your anniversary. When you guys went to pick up the baby though Kunikida cried on his knees when he saw the baby stumble on over to you two.

📒You were sitting on the bathroom sink recording Kunikida giving your baby a bath when they decided to say their first words, a shock to the both of you since they were months late to say their first words so the two of you just froze. Then you realized you got it on video and told Kunikida… he just smiled and gave your baby a kiss on the forehead and kept bathing them. This video is cherished.

📒You have all the gifts that Kunikida’s co-workers gave you guys on a shelf, some of them missed the assignment but it's the thought that counts though the crotchet stuffed cat by his co worker ‘Junichiro’ has to your favorite out the bunch.

📒You'll wake up in the middle of the night and realize Kunikida isn't there. Everytime you'll walk into the nursery and see him with the baby having fell asleep in the rocking chair.

📒Kunikida knows that his job requires him to do something life threatening things so he records his voice, talking about anything and everything talking about his schedule, how much he loves you and the baby, his time at work, just incase he doesn't end up coming home.

📒Luckily he made it to your babies childhood he still has voice messages just incase.

📒Instead of tying his kids shoes for them he decided to turn it into a lesson and teach then how to tie their own shoes.

📒Playdates are always held at your home because the other parents no for a fact that their kids are safe.

📒When your kid scraped their knee when they tripped over the pavement Kunikida was the first person on the scene.

📒You have a framed photo of your kid messily braiding Kunikida’s hair.

📒Might embarrass the kid but he doesn't care, his kid is required to bundle up as much as possible during winter.

📒Raising kid can be exhausting, he gets it, so. While your kid is being watched over at a family members house he takes the two of you to a nice planetarium date.

📒Your kid will activately be saying “Gross!” While you cover them in kisses.

📒Kunikida will take off his glasses for 000.1 seconds he'll look back and your kid took them.

📒Your kid cleans their own room and washes their own dishes.

📒…Good chance your kid had to help Ranpo get on the train before.

📒From the way you and your kid walk into the grocery store with blacked out sunglasses they probably thought you two were about to raid the place when in reality your kid just wanted to feel cool while getting their favorite snack.

📒Your kid always feels loved because every night before they close their eyes they see you and Kunikida telling them goodnight before the lights are out.

📒You feel loved. Kunikida doesn't fall asleep until he knows you two are asleep, just a safety thing.

Smoking and drinking beer with If I Die Young by The Band Perry while posting this lol