#neither of them actually do the give and take thing with their significant others

[homerforsure]

Having this half formed thought about how Buck will do anything to save a relationship except fight for it and Eddie will fight for ones he doesn’t even want just so he doesn’t fail at them and let the other person down.

[an-idyllic-novelist]

Alastor with gender-neutral!reader Christmas scenario

warnings: established relationship, mentions of violence, ooc and fluff.

Inspiration came from @lbcreations-blog's holiday fic. The link will be here. Special thanks to @vikkirosko for giving me feedback on this segment before I posted it. Merry Christmas one and all! :)

Alastor could recall very little memories of the Christmases he had spent as a mortal. Time was a funny thing; it blurred, made your brain all fuzzy until all you can ever really remember are the people you had once loved. In the Radio Demon’s case, the honor of a preserved memory belonged to his mother. Recently though, someone else had been occupying his mind and creating new memories in Hell. You. His significant other. 

To celebrate the coming of the winter solstice and to bring some festive cheer to the Hazbin Hotel, Charlie thought it would be a wonderful idea to throw a little party in one of the ballrooms. Some decorations, good food and liquor, gifts. An ideal Christmas get-together, so to speak. You helped Vagatha with getting the supplies needed, and he just watched all of this chaos happen, occasionally helping when the princess absolutely insisted that he become involved. 

What caused the pleasant Christmas  jazz music around him to a screeching halt was the sight of a plant hanging over the archway leading to the main lobby coming from the elevators. And you were right underneath it, carrying a box of ornaments in your hands. Alastor definitely did not hang this up here, which only left two possible culprits: Charlie, or Angel Dust. Husk was busy minding the bar. Niffty is still in the kitchen preparing the food, and she knew much he despised being touched by anyone. 

Especially you. He told you as much in the early beginnings of your relationship, including how he would prefer to not engage in physical intimacy beyond hand holding because he did not like it. You always gave him a wide berth, respecting his personal space and being content with how things were, though sometimes…he knew you wanted just a little more. You just would not say it because you already knew he would refuse. 

In regards to this….scenario, everyone’s eyes were on him and you. Half-expecting him to give in and just give you a kiss on the cheek, or for you to take initiative and do the deed and be placed on his dinner menu. Neither of which actually happened. Alastor was fully ready to step away and forget about the entire thing until you smiled sheepishly, bowing to him and extending your hand to him.

“Care to dance?”

He felt the tension evaporate from his shoulders, replaced with a chipper tune and a round of applause from the audience. “Why, I’d be delighted, my dear!” Carefully lowering his gloved palm on top of yours, he pulled you to his body and swung you around to the trumpets of his shadows. His grin stretched as he watched you quickly catch onto the rhythm, laughing as he dipped you towards the ground, then back up and did a twirl. You spun around, breaking away from him and bowing to him with that lovely smile of yours. 

Oh, how lucky he is to have you, indeed~! 

Though if anyone were to try and kiss you under the mistletoe, he will remind them why he is in Hell.

Taglist:

@isuckatwritingsobenice

@thatstonedwriter

@aurora-rose-miller

@lbcreations-blog

@nunezs-stuff

@samoaz

@chroniccorvus

@myafterlifeisbetterthenyours

@crystalrose36

@nixie-writes

@doc-tooth

@angelltheninth

@violetsnowflake330

@ladykitsunesworld

@sillypenguincats

@food-theorys-blog

@theunknowntravel3r

[luvring]

Could i have the same headcanon of falling in love but for Mhin? Thank you 🙏 😭

MHIN FALLING IN LOVE

gn!reader | mhin time! >____< lots of mhin fans here... awesome world. in case anyone is wondering yes i do have vere in my drafts. meowww

predictably, a slowburn with angst.

hard to get to know, not because they aren't predictable, or because they're incredibly hard to read, but because they're Fawking persistent when it comes to keeping their guard up. which means you have to be even More persistent. an absurd cycle. but you can get there. You will get there.

i think something that slowly takes down(?) mhin's walls would be showing interest in them past working together and their secrets. asking something more mundane like what their favourite season or meal is, what kind of music they like, if they enjoy rain. they're wary to answer because ?? why are you asking. why are you being weird. but they realize it's nice to think of something else about themself other than being a monstrosity. wow. ow

^ and then maybe doing something with their answer! going out of your way to buy some sweets for them, asking if they're okay when it's super cold/hot because they mentioned not enjoying it. something they've forgotten you even know. it also makes them wonder what your answers would be. the first time mhin manages to ask "what's yours?" is !!!! woah!

another moment might be choosing to be sincere when you could've teased them for something. they give you a look (honestly more often than not, mhin's first reaction is always wary confusion/denial), and you promise you're telling the truth. and they might not thank you or anything, but it sticks in the back of their head while they try to ignore how flustered they feel.

another Little moment might be you catching them off guard by like. being mean. they've gotten used to you pestering and following them. they've gotten used to your list of questions and times where you're walking quietly. neither of you have spoken in 5 minutes, and they're rolling their eyes, thinking to themself "what an asshole" about some guy arguing with a server, and then you mutter "what a fucking asshole" out loud. and they just look at you like ?. and you look back like ?? like i'm wrong. and mhin can't help but snicker or scoff.

when they realize what's going on (waiting for you to find them, looking for you, enjoying your company, etc), mhin starts avoiding you like the plague. all that time learning your schedule/habits has made it easy to avoid you (until you realize what's going on, at least). even places that they enjoyed for themself, they time things so you don't cross paths. it's honestly impressive LOL

they kind of hate it though. they miss you. they tell themself they don't, but they do. yeah they avoid you, but you know, if you both happen to be shopping, they might trail you and notice how you're buying ingredients for your favourite dessert, or how your eyes linger on a necklace before moving on. they just happen to be taking a similar path as you, and it's not like they want something bad to happen, so it makes sense to watch out, even now.

i'm picturing a confrontation where they try to deny avoiding you, then say they're doing it for a reason... and then you ask what this is, what anything meant, if anything. and mhin thinks they've dug themself a grave already and tell you it was nothing, a mistake, you should go home.

and you can either wait for a second confrontation, or call out their bullshit there—they're a liar but it's obvious to you, so what's actually going on? and tension rises and you push a little further until they finally tell you of course they care about you! and their voice might break a little because they don't speak loudly often, and their words dawn on them and they purse their lips—that's why they're trying to stay away.

something something don't push me away, i won't let you push me away, the significance of promising to stay with them, to work through things together and not leaving them alone, of seeing them as something else other than a monster, of seeing them as mhin.

mhin falls in love with your kindness, your open heart that warms theirs until it remembers spring. not just in the way you help them, but the kindness you show yourself, the people around you, your friends. they fall in love with watching you see the world in a way they hope to one day.

they fall in love with someone who perseveres when things get hard, but reminds the both of them that pushing too much or isolating yourself won't help. they'll stand at your desk and watch until you put your things away, or frown when they find you asleep outside of bed, and they know you'll do the same with them. they believe you'll get better at this together

mhin falling in love is pushing themself out of their comfort zone and doing their best to speak, even and especially when they can't think of what to say. it's them finding you in a bad mood and getting you food and offering to listen if you need to vent. it's them opening up and being vulnerable about their past that still hurts them, letting you reach for their hand or hold them when all they can think is that they don't deserve it.

i've mentioned this before but in an established relationship, mhin is softer but...not? they're comfortable to the point that they enjoy when you rest your head on their shoulder, but also enjoy making fun of you and laughing afterward. they don't have to be cold or walled off!! you're getting the real mhin, all sides included!

in general, they aren't a very touchy person. whether this is because they're not used to it or actually don't enjoy it is up in the air in my head. either way, it makes moments of physical touch a little more special! leaning against you when they're tired, reaching for your hand in crowds, letting you tie or play with their hair, etc.

the first time mhin kisses you, you're asleep. it's just a little one on the forehead as they pull the blanket up a little higher. and they keep doing it, because maybe it'll make it easier for when you wake up. they don't realize that you've been awake for the past 3 kisses as you pretend to fall asleep.

they let you watch them do experiments, and if it's up your alley, will listen to your thoughts and suggestions! feel honoured because it isn't a place, or thing that they let just anyone see! even if you aren't very science-y, feel free to give your opinion. maybe something will click in their head, y'know. or just be like, what if you mix red and white to make pink. and watch mhin stare at you like. How did you pick the two that'd be the Worst possible combination. like okay sorry i like pretty colours woah /lh

saying i love you.... i think they'd try really hard. you've helped them so much and they really do care, even if they're scared to say they love you, they know they do, they don't know what else this could be. there's a few times you catch them staring at you weirdly focused, and they're making a face with scrunched brows and pouting lips, and you're like. What is happening. and they chicken out. and get angry at themself for a while.

it kind depends on you, of course, and what kind of person you are. if you're someone who says it easily but never pushes them to say it, they feel grateful but guilty. if both of you keep dancing around it, a little anxiety and insecurity creeps back in when they don't want it to.

it's kind of a big deal for them, so the first time you say it is at the same time. not like Simultaneously saying it, but the same. ...day. at least. LOL. although if they're the one to say it first (somehow??) and you don't say it back until later that night because ?? shock? processing? nervous excitement? they Will be having a rough time dealing with themself, even while they repeat over and over that you deserve time, too, and it's okay, and they shouldn't overthink, etc etc.

mhin is So visibly relieved when you say it back. "were you worried?" "no?" < their head was a cacophony of 27 ambulances and noisy garbage compactors

grahhh i forgot to make a new tag list form. friends. I will make one eventually. but u r still here 4 now. kyaaa | @screaming-wea-sel @semifilms @cvhenia @mitskiologist @leiiii-i @sweet-milky-tea705 @khalixvitae

[seafoamreadings]

week of january 28th, 2024

these are written predominantly for the *rising* signs but they are also intuitively "channeled" enough that they should work for any dominant energy you have! (try your sun if you don't know rising, or more advanced readers can try moon, anywhere you have a stellium, etc and see what works best for you!)

aries: you're in a weird sort of fate loop this week, although you're also so detached from the concept of time most likely that "this week" is not an extremely meaningful term. what seems like frightening deja vu experiences are actually you spiraling up and away from past problems; you get to revisit it with all your new knowledge and then transcend it. on to new and better problems, right?

taurus: this week's mars activity probably has you quite revved up. maybe it's your temper, maybe it's your productivity, maybe it's the passions of the heart, but you're kind of hyped! don't go overboard, but a little sudden move here and there, while it may spook others, can be quite auspicious for you.

gemini: while it's not mercury retrograde, you are currently sensitive to weird little messaging quirks. drafts of text from years ago get sent, emails don't get through (until the future some time) etc. be patient and be careful. by next week it's just memories.

cancerians: you're getting some tense vibes from all the other cardinal signs at the moment, quite possibly pinging off some of your natal planets and points. all actions have consequences and so do non-actions, so try to proceed with wisdom, and if you are already dealing with some consequences (which, all of us always are no matter what) try to give yourself grace if things haven't gone as planned or desired.

leo: while the week does have a distinctly un-leonic tone, it is not actually out to get you. and probably neither is anyone around you. everyone is kind of lost in their own minds, doing their own struggles. try not to let it affect you too much. take good care of yourself meanwhile.

virgo: you do have a tendency to see all the small things. apply this superpowered microscopic view to your finances; there are some risks both with your personal assets and your shared resources. at the same time, if you are not acting with authenticity it negatively affects your most intimate relationships and prevents any fun in looking for new ones. it's not a time for secrecy.

libra: significant nodal activity plus a libra moon can really have you pondering if everyone you meet, or already know, is a soul mate. and why shouldn't you have more than one, many soul mates? but don't use it as an excuse to prolong a toxic or decaying situation.

scorpio: although you are one of the fixed signs, evolution and rebirth are kind of your whole deal. this week it feels like you've had a fresh new start and yet somehow accidentally dragged part of your past incarnation in with you. but that's the nature of rebirth. just practice letting go. some of what stays is rather nice after all.

sagittarius: subtle things happen all week to show you how the universe can conspire quietly in your favor. watch, notice, learn. a gratitude practice coupled with being and providing small good fortunes for others amplifies the effect.

capricorn: mars in your sign is a busy bee. are you also buzzing around productively? even bees take cute little naps in flowers, so make sure you are resting and consolidating what you have learned. just like in a workout, if all you do is stress your muscles, they can never grow. the real growth is in the relaxing. you do have to do both.

aquarius: you're due for a little jolt from mars. it's 12th-4th house power, hitting your ruling planet uranus in taurus. your house is your temple, or if it's not, you need to make yourself a space. do warrior monk vibe.

pisces: people in your social network might not really understand you, questioning your motives or even your sanity. pay them no attention at all. you know what you're about, even if it seems like you're in some other dimension to them. in the end it benefits all of you.

[maspers]

Ranking the Miracucast by how much Adrien: The Fragrance they own

Marinette: Do you even have to ask? She has gallons. 10/10

Alya: She has more than the average girl her age, but that's mostly because it was on sale and she felt like supporting Adrien in a way that was pretty easy. 5/10

Adrien: Yes. 10/10

Nino: Has gotten at least 1 bottle as a joke. Adrien was not amused. 1/10

Chloe: She has a significantly large amount of Adrien, and she says that she wears it all the time, but her collection isn't decreasing as much as she says it is. Sus. 8/10

Sabrina: Unlike Chloe, Sabrina actually likes this perfume. Main reason Chloe's collection is decreasing is because Sabrina uses it. 8/10 by proxy

Mylene: Had some, but then she learned about some of the stuff that Gabriel puts in his perfumes. Then she set all her bottles on fire. At once. In the classroom. They had to have a fire drill. Maybe it wasn't her smartest idea. But she was tired. 3/10

Ivan: Everyone assumed he was the one who set the fire, and he is doing nothing to dissuade them of that notion. 2/10

Rose: This girl knows her perfume. She sorts it alphabetically. She may or may not make her own, by performing unethical experiments on the perfumes she already owns. The Adrien is no exception, she has more types of it than legally exist on the market. 6/10

Juleka: Actually wears it quite a bit, since A) She kinda likes the smell, B) It's cheap, and C) Adrien uses it as proof that he is in fact endorsing her as a model. The only thing holding her career back is her self-confidence. You can do it Juleka! We believe in you! 7/10

Kim: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. 9/10

Max: Absolutely not. 0/10

Alix: She actually has a pretty sizable collection of the stuff in the Burrow. But none of it seems to be stuff that's currently on the market, it's all weird future versions of the stuff with odd scents, unreleased prototypes that put you at risk of setting it on fire if you use it, or bottles from alternate timelines that somehow survived whatever apocalypse was going on there. It's complicated. But since they're all weird versions of it, she has a nice excuse to not use it. Ever. Alix/10

Nathaniel: Bought a whole bunch and used it to create an art piece for Adrien's birthday. Adrien was extremely amused and gave the artwork a special spot in the corner of his room. It still smells like the fragrance (and bottles) used to make it, which is very good for disguising the scent of Plagg's camembert. 4/10

Lila: Is contractually forced to wear the stuff due to legal shenanigans. She hates it. She hates it so much. But if any of the Agreste Household realize that she isn't wearing it then things will get more ComplicatedTM for her so she just has to deal. 9/10

Luka: Borrows Juleka's sometimes. If it works, it works! The twins already share a lot of stuff anyway, she doesn't mind. Sometimes it leads to Luka getting weird looks from other people, but Luka has never really been one to care about that. 5/10

Kagami: Like Lila, she's basically contractually obligated to wear it. unlike Lila, she doesn't own a single bottle of the stuff. Neither Gabriel nor Tomoe care about it enough to force her, so she will take what she can get. 0/10

Marc: He adamantly refuses to disclose how much of the stuff he has, if any. It's probably one of the best-kept secrets in the entire school. I have no clue either, so I'm just going to give him the average score and you all can try and come up with your own guess. 5/10

Ondine: Kim once bought her some perfume in bulk as a gift (oh, THAT's why his own score was so high, I get it now) but unfortunately perfume is not really practical for a girl who spends a significant amount of her time swimming and showering. She appreciated the gift, though, and wears it when she feels like being fancy! 3/10

Aurore: She's an Adrien fangirl. 'Nuff said. 8/10

Felix: He hates this stuff with a burning passion. Everyone sees him and goes "hey aren't you that guy on the perfume ads?" and he despises it. He actively goes out of his way to tear down posters and deface advertisements, even going to such great lengths as to create sentimonsters with the explicit purpose of reducing sales of Adrien. Felix will do everything in his power to decrease the amount of this stuff in the world. -5/10

Zoe: She arrived after the craze was over and has no context for anything. So she also borrows from Chloe's stash on occasion, but she doesn't really much care for the smell. 4/10

[antialiasis]

Chess (2018 Kennedy Center revival)

So I was just going to briefly mention all the other different versions of Chess I have consumed in the big essay post I’ve been writing on and off, but there was just too much to say about this one which made it really awkward to fit it in, so fine, here is another individual chesspost. Nearly 7500 words of rambling under the cut, oh my god.

This production represents the latest official full overhaul of Chess. It sports an all-new book written by Danny Strong, also known as the actor who played Jonathan on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, which is some whiplash (Sarah Michelle Gellar is apparently a big Chess fan, too). It was later staged again as a concert with some further modifications in 2021, but I listened to an audio bootleg of the 2018 version. (There exist some videos of it online, but only scattered bits.)

The Story Changes

This version has London’s basic plot structure with the distinctive two chess tournaments (this time four years apart, which is neither the original number nor the actual number of years between world chess championships), but rearranges Act I, adds a lot more quippy dialogue and swearing, reinterprets the characters, and recenters real-world politics in the whole thing — sort of the exact inverse of what Chess på svenska did with the material. It opens with “Difficult and Dangerous Times” to set the scene in the Cold War and features the Arbiter narrating with sardonic omniscient commentary between songs/scenes throughout, which does feel a bit more consistent than the Arbiter suddenly having a narrator role for the duration of one song in Act II.

All the main characters in this version are reinterpreted with significant new background context, which is a very interesting way to rewrite it that I definitely dig in principle. For example, Florence’s first scene here involves Walter threatening her with deportation from the US unless she can make Freddie behave for the duration of the tournament. Most versions of Chess make the political scheming very symbolic and vague — exchanges of mostly unnamed political prisoners or handwaved concessions — but this version is noticeably specific, with specific nuclear arms treaty negotiations that the CIA believes would be negatively affected if Freddie keeps openly antagonizing the Soviets. She tells Walter to go fuck himself (told you it adds more swearing) and that nobody can control Freddie Trumper, but ultimately she doesn’t have much of a choice but to reluctantly play along. This addition recontextualizes her character and her interactions with Freddie in Act I a fair bit — it’s pretty significant, after all, that she is under threat and may lose her home if she doesn’t somehow control what she really can’t.

Meanwhile, Freddie himself here suffers from a full-on mental illness which he takes medication for. Walter asserts on a phone call early that they’re dealing with a “genuine paranoid schizophrenic”, but then later calls him a “bipolar bitch”; I take the blatant inconsistency combined with the obviously insulting nature of these remarks to mean probably we’re not meant to take either of them at face value, but these two lines from Walter are the only ones suggesting any specific diagnosis. (I unfortunately suspect Danny Strong didn’t have a specific condition in mind and research it so much as just slap him with a Generic Ambiguous Mental Illness for which he takes Pills.) One way or another, Freddie’s ambiguous mental illness gives him bouts of intense paranoia, driving him to do things like trashing his and Florence’s hotel room to look for listening devices at one point. Florence keeps insistently, frustratedly telling him to just take his goddamn pills even as he’s in genuine distress; it’s pretty uncomfortable, and also definitely one of those things that are at least more human when his episodes could cost her the only home she has: she’s desperate and in distress too.

(I do kind of feel as if this whole bit would make more sense if Florence and Freddie had a strictly business relationship here to start with, instead of being explicitly portrayed as a couple — when they have a committed intimate partnership going on, one would think Florence getting deported would also be pretty obviously significant for Freddie, and Florence quietly playing along with the CIA and crossing her fingers that she can indirectly coax him into behaving with seemingly no serious thought given to whether it’d be better to just tell him why he needs to stop feels stranger. The scene with Walter sounds like Walter/the CIA are not aware of their romantic relationship and Florence wants to keep it that way — they both refer to Freddie strictly by his full/last name and as “her player” — so I guess Walter would have assumed she wouldn’t tell him, but surely the calculus would at least look a bit different to Florence herself. Even if it just prompts her to realize Freddie would still be liable to react by becoming even more erratic and vocal about his paranoias, that feels like it’d be significant enough, at least for her feelings on this relationship going forward, that it never actually coming up or being suggested within the story starts to feel marginally odd. Not a major complaint, though, just a bit of overthinking.)

Freddie in general is noticeably portrayed much more sympathetically here than usual throughout. Where other versions of Chess tend to present Freddie as an attention-seeking drama queen who plays up ludicrous arbitrary demands for money and press, here things like his walkout from the first chess game are made to come from a much more genuine place: he has major sensory issues and is intolerably thrown off balance by distracting noise and lights (which really are deliberately arranged to sabotage him). “Florence Quits”, the song with the misogyny verse, usually reads as being triggered by his jealousy and inability to accept that Anatoly’s just playing better than him, but this version makes it feel more about how he feels persistently gaslit about the ways he’s being sabotaged than anything else: he accuses the Soviets of having a hypnotist in the front row to throw him off (which they do, and Freddie literally saw him and recognized him) and Florence of working for the CIA (which she has been, if not by choice) while they deny it and brush it off, and the tense opening notes of the song play under him desperately yelling “You’re lying to me! You’re all lying to me!” (Which doesn’t make the misogyny okay, obviously, but it does make it feel more like a desperate, paranoia-fueled lashout where you don’t know how much he really means all that.)

When he subsequently forfeits the match against Anatoly, he makes a speech that sounds absolutely despairing where he says chess has been taking a toll on his health since he first became champion at eleven years old, and he doesn’t feel he can trust anyone, even himself. In Act II, before “The Interview”, he even actually apologizes to Florence for how he treated her; heck, his motivation for going so hard after Anatoly in “The Interview” itself is portrayed as being that he is genuinely disgusted by Anatoly leaving his family so callously (which is a lot of fun given Freddie’s own issues about his father leaving him and his mother behind) and wants Florence to hear the truth about what a despicable man he is, which is still unpleasant to her but clearly comes from a much more sympathetic place than either simple spite or reluctantly complying with Walter’s orders.

As for Anatoly… he was taken from his parents when he was a small child to be groomed by Molokov and the KGB into becoming a chess champion, and he’s well aware from his very first scene that the state had killed the previous Soviet champion after Freddie unseated him. (Freddie excoriates the press early on for not covering why the former champion disappeared off the face of the Earth because they’re too busy bashing Freddie, which sounds like paranoia, but the narrative has actually told us Freddie is right and they really did execute him but no one but Freddie seems to notice or care — another way in which Freddie is jarringly sympathetic here. In general, Freddie is portrayed as paranoid, and the other characters treat him like he’s just paranoid, but the narrative keeps proving Freddie’s paranoia right.)

Anatoly, though, isn’t afraid of the same fate, because “The state cannot execute a man… that is already dead.” (This general sentiment could press my buttons, but it just feels super corny and melodramatic the way it’s presented and performed, especially with that dramatic pause in there.) He is deeply depressed, thinks his marriage to Svetlana is fake and his kids hate him, and says repeatedly in Act I that he hates chess and just wants to be free of it, though he also describes a particular championship match he watched as the only time he’s felt love. At the end of Act I, he defects to the UK along with Florence as usual (his defection fully blows up the treaty Walter was worrying about despite Anatoly’s victory, so Florence’s refugee visa is indeed revoked, and that’s why they end up in the UK). Theoretically he should be free of chess now, but it bothers him intensely that he only won by forfeit (here they never finished playing a single match), resulting in him returning to defend his world champion title, and win it ‘properly’, four years later in Bangkok against Viigand.

Unknown to Anatoly, by Act II, after the election of Ronald Reagan, the Soviets are extra on edge and believe a planned NATO military exercise is actually the US mobilizing for a full-scale invasion of the Soviet Union. Walter tries to convince Molokov it’s just an exercise; Molokov insists unfortunately the generals are going to believe it’s an invasion and be ready to retaliate unless Viigand wins the championship (if Viigand wins they will take it as a ‘sign of goodwill’ from the US, which will change their minds on the apparent invasion because, uhh, unclear). Throughout Act II, the larger stakes in this version are set up to be that if Anatoly should win the match, the Soviets are liable to start a nuclear war.

Does Walter go to Anatoly to frankly tell him that apparently the Soviets have lost their minds and are basically threatening nuclear war over a chess match and try to convince him to throw on that basis? Does Molokov realize that if he’s telling Walter to go rig the chess match so the generals will call it off, he clearly doesn’t actually believe that the US is about to invade, so probably he should be trying to convince the generals not to go for the nuclear option himself? No, of course not; this is Chess, so we have to have the songs that are in Chess. So instead, Walter and Molokov just go through the same indirect schemes as usual to unbalance Anatoly and convince him to throw the game, with some minor twists. Molokov actually actively threatens Svetlana with being sent to a gulag to die if she doesn’t convince her husband to return — and Svetlana does straight-up tell Anatoly this, only for Anatoly to brush her off and tell her they won’t do that. Florence learns the same from Walter and initially dismisses him, and fully doesn’t believe him about her father being alive, but does ultimately sympathize with Svetlana and worry for her, which I like. But Anatoly is obsessed with winning this championship above all else and fully convinced Molokov is bluffing.

In the end, he plays the game to win, oblivious to the nuclear threat; as he checkmates, Walter makes a desperate phone call to his superiors to call off the training exercise. (Why he didn’t just do that immediately when Molokov told him the Soviets were taking it as an attack, instead of spending all this time playing along with this elaborate chess mind game, is a mystery.) Only… they don’t, and the Soviets watch with their fingers on the nuclear button, but ultimately they don’t fire. The Arbiter’s narration informs us this was the closest the world ever came to destruction, even closer than the Cuban missile crisis, and that this then served as the wake-up call that prompted negotiations about nuclear deescalation.

Anatoly, meanwhile, returns to the Soviet Union as usual, this time successfully exchanging himself for Florence’s imprisoned father, and Walter gives the two of them visas so that they can return to the US together.

Broad thoughts

I feel profoundly weird about the mixing of real-life history and completely fictitious alternate history here — you can’t just assert in narration that the fictional events in your musical were what taught the US and Soviet Union that maybe they should just talk to each other, while making a specific comparison to an actual thing that really happened, after spending the musical asserting that the Soviets murdered chess players for losing the world championship. I think mixing history and fiction can work fine if we can imagine that for all we know this is what really happened, or alternatively that this is what might have happened in some alternate universe similar to but distinct from ours. But here, we’re creating highly significant and publicized events that are obviously fictional, making it absurd to pretend this is what really happened, while also presenting these fictional alternate-universe events in objective hindsight narration alongside real events that happened in the real world and as a supposed cause of them. This ending narration just feels like it’s weirdly trying to have its cake and eat it too.

All in all, though, I think this is definitely one of the most interesting efforts to rewrite Chess. It definitely has something it’s going for, there are several neat ideas in it, and in particular I appreciate that it tries to give extra attention to the characters, more context to their actions, and more messy, humanized depth, inner conflict, and complicated motivators and stressors behind what they do. I genuinely enjoy what it’s doing with Freddie in Act I, in particular, even though it feels somehow both jarringly like it’s woobifying him (I genuinely think he ends up coming across as the most sympathetic of the three mains here, with so much of his erratic, childish and unpleasant behaviour being recontextualized to be more understandable and the way his hatred of the Soviets keeps being validated by the narrative) and like the narrative is weirdly harsh on him (this much more sympathetic Freddie who suffers from an actual mental illness is treated like absolute irredeemable scum by every other character including the fourth-wall-leaning narrator, even more than usual).

I also think the restructuring of Act I was pretty solid for the most part, though there’s definitely some awkwardness, like how Freddie’s expanded encounters with the press sort of clumsily repeat the same beats a bit. On the one hand, I can get what Danny Strong was going for in choosing to introduce everyone first and then go into “Merano” instead of doing several minutes of narrative meaninglessness before the main characters are even introduced; on the other hand, that kind of just half-defeats the sole original purpose of “Merano”, which is to provide a very jaunty more stereotypical musical theater song so that Freddie can be introduced via barging in and interrupting it with his very different vibe, and if I were Danny Strong I would definitely have just removed “Merano” at that point. But the “Difficult and Dangerous Times” opening works great, and it nicely avoids the “almost nothing of note happens for nearly forty minutes” and “several meaningless fluff songs in a row” problems of the London script, introducing conflict and stakes early and keeping the narrative going.

Ultimately, though, a lot of what it’s trying to do doesn’t quite come together to me, and some of it is variously misguided or just strange.

The Politics

To start with, I can definitely get wanting to emphasize the role of Cold War politics in the narrative, and I basically enjoyed the increased political focus and higher stakes in Act I — but I don’t think making Anatoly unwittingly almost start a nuclear war works here, or fits properly into this narrative at all. The Soviet generals have to be holding idiot balls; Molokov has to be holding an idiot ball; Walter has to be holding the biggest idiot ball of all; and most importantly, the ludicrously massive stakes being pasted on top of the match despite none of the main characters even knowing about it means we zoom thoroughly out of the character drama of the situation: “Endgame” just becomes grotesquely trivial with that hanging over it without Anatoly’s knowledge, rendering the actual drama of the climactic song completely irrelevant to what’s really at stake.

I also dislike, in a version that emphasizes the politics, how distinctly slanted it is. One of the things that I like in the London strain of Chess is that Walter and Molokov are both slimy, manipulative bastards in different ways, both sides’ political actors cruelly toying with the lives of the players for their own impersonal ends; the righteousness of each state as a whole doesn’t really matter to this story, only the impact that the whole conflict and the mutual scheming has on the main characters’ lives. But in this version, the Soviets and Molokov are cartoon villains who literally abduct children to force them into chess camp and then murder them if they don’t win the world championship, while Walter may be a condescending asshole who’s willing to threaten Florence but is distinctly the ‘good guy’ in his interactions with Molokov, which comprise most of his screentime, especially in Act II. Walter even gets a humanizing moment where he explains he has a nine-year-old son and has nightmares about him suffering a nuclear winter (Molokov, meanwhile, tells Walter in Act I that Anatoly is like a son to him but could not more obviously not care about Anatoly at all when he proudly presents his new champion material Viigand in Act II). I just find it really detrimental to Chess’s narrative to make it about Soviets Bad, US Good, and more so the more you focus on that — to whatever extent you highlight the politics in this story, it should be done in a way that’s about how the political machinations of the Cold War impact the character drama at the center of it, and it’s distracting when instead you make it into a loosely related B-plot about Walter’s desperate diplomatic efforts to stop the evil Soviets from destroying the world with their shortsightedness.

I think a successful more politically-focused Chess could definitely exist, but I think it’s always going to function best if Walter and Molokov feel at least narratively like just about equal scumbags. It’s not even impossible to imagine nuclear weapons and mutually assured destruction coming up in the course of it — but it needs to be using that to make us enraged at all of this on behalf of Anatoly/Florence/Svetlana/Freddie, not enraged at Molokov on behalf of Walter.

The Character Work

Meanwhile, I do basically like the setup and recontextualization done for all of the main characters in Act I, but unfortunately none of them quite delivered as well as I hoped in the end.

Let’s start with Florence. I actually quite liked the deportation threat, putting Florence herself under personal pressure in a way she usually isn’t. I dig characters being put through the wringer and making decisions under stress. But the story doesn’t quite do anything with that other than using it as silent context behind her early interactions with Freddie and technically as the reason she and Anatoly move to the UK offscreen. We don’t, for instance, ever see Freddie learn that that’s why she moved or that he was unwittingly indirectly responsible for that, or otherwise address that in any way, and as far as Florence in the rest of the story is concerned, it might as well never have happened — we never see her having any kinds of feelings on it, or even confronting Walter about that nasty little part he played in her life when she meets him again (she doesn’t even comment on it when he offers her the chance to go back to the US at the end!). To an extent this is, of course, because Florence being deported was never originally part of the story of Chess, so of course it doesn’t come up in any song or have any significant specific impact on the core series of events — but if you’re going to add it in at all, you really ought to be taking that somewhere in the rest of your additions that isn’t just briefly handwaving that she gets to go back at the end.

Like Long Beach, this version brings Florence’s father back at the end — but unfortunately, it feels really unearned here. Compared to other London variants, it actually ditches the bit of “The Deal” where Florence is tangibly emotional and riled up by Walter’s offer of her father — she fully dismisses the idea of her father being alive as bullshit, and instead it’s Svetlana who moves her to have doubts when she sees her begging Anatoly to return on video and realizes Svetlana still loves him. I do really like that, by itself, and it’s probably my favorite thing about this version’s portrayal of Florence; her empathizing with Svetlana to the point of feeling genuinely guilty for having taken her husband from her, and believing maybe the right thing to do would be if he went back to Svetlana for her sake, is actually very good, serves as a great lead-in to “I Know Him So Well”, and makes Florence’s character feel far more sympathetic in a production where she’s otherwise pretty lacking in that department. But it leaves us with no emotional connection whatsoever to Florence’s father — we’ve only heard her mention him twice before Walter’s offer, very briefly, in Act I, and not really with any sense that she misses or is all that invested in him. Seeing her reunite with him means nothing for her or her arc; it just comes out of left field, and winds up being another thing slanting this version towards Good Guy Walter, Bad Guy Molokov, what with Walter offering her visas back to the US for both of them seemingly out of the goodness of his heart.

It would have been possible to actually build up to this in a way that would make it satisfying. Florence and Anatoly have several conversations; we could have used some of those to have Florence actually talk about her father and how she feels about him being gone, and that could have been part of building up her relationship with Anatoly, made it meaningful that Anatoly’s parting gift to her is to ensure her father’s return. I suppose Danny Strong’s thought process may have been that if he built up Florence’s father too much, that should become her main concern once Walter brings that into it, and he wanted her concern to be about Svetlana instead, which I guess is fair; it also means Anatoly only really has to dismiss the potential harm to one other person in his obsession with the winning the game. But if you do make the decision to not build up her father, then bringing her father back is not an ending that makes any sense, and there was no need to do this — they could have easily cut out all suggestion of her father being alive entirely and it would only have made things smoother. I think the only reason she gets her father back in this one is in some hasty effort to make Florence’s ending less bleak, but because it doesn’t have any emotional resonance, it’s just not the right way to do that here.

Speaking of Florence and Anatoly, the romance here… once again has some neat, interesting things it’s going for but doesn’t quite come together as a whole. The two of them do have some actual conversations where they bond a bit, which is already a marked improvement over the default London script — but their very first conversation features Anatoly asserting out of nowhere that Florence has “a way of brightening his spirit”, despite not even knowing her, which isn’t super convincing and just comes off kind of creepy-awkward. Florence asserts a few times that he’s sweet and kind, but we don’t really see much of him actually coming across as sweet or kind — his lines tend to be either melodramatic or sardonic moping interspersed kind of jarringly with awkward jokes. He’s less charming or sweet and more like a lonely, kicked dog, which is fine if Florence is into that but doesn’t quite make her descriptions of why she likes him ring true.

This production actually goes back to the concept album a bit when it comes to Florence and Anatoly — namely, more than political manipulation and external pressures forcibly tearing them apart from the outside, there’s a more substantial internal tension between them as Anatoly genuinely simply prioritizes winning the chess match over her and dismisses her as she tries to question him about Svetlana. The two approaches can both work but do different things for the narrative; this internal approach puts more focus on the personal conflict and character drama and makes the relationship more interesting, which is definitely good, and in principle I think this is built up to in a pretty solid way here — Anatoly, raised to become a chess champion to the exclusion of all else, being maddened by the notion of not actually beating Freddie in Act I and needing to prove he deserves the championship to himself in Act II before he can feel “free from chess” works as a coherent reason for him to be so strikingly, unhealthily obsessive about it.

But I think the biggest problem is that Florence and Anatoly individually don’t hit well enough as characters to create investment in them. Florence is ultimately not developed enough and mostly just acts kind of unpleasant, especially to Freddie, all the way up until that Svetlana bit in Act II. More importantly, I just can’t like or understand or sympathize with Anatoly at all, beyond recognizing that core of what his arc is going for. Part of it is probably down to the writing of his lines, which I’m just not a fan of in general. I already named one example from his first scene. Here’s how Anatoly and Florence’s very first conversation starts:

ANATOLY: It’s not his fault. This game drives us all crazy. FLORENCE: I’m fine. Aren’t you even a little bit scared? ANATOLY: Of Trumper? FLORENCE: No, that they’ll kill you if you lose. ANATOLY: Oh. To quote the great Leo Tolstoy, “Even in the valley of the shadow of death, two and two do not make six.” FLORENCE: What does that mean? ANATOLY: I don’t know exactly, but it is very Russian.

I just don’t find this dialogue very convincing. Why is he reciting a dramatic irrelevant quote if he doesn’t know what it means and just thinks it’s “very Russian”? It feels like a generic quippy exchange off a snarky TV show. Does Anatoly use humour to cope with his situation? Not really; this is pretty much the only time he says anything that might be taken as that. This feels like a joke that’s there only to get a laugh out of the audience, not because Anatoly would actually tell it — and consequently, it doesn’t tell us anything real about Anatoly. Meanwhile, Florence responds to this with “Oh, you’re funny,” as if that’s one of the reasons she falls for him when I would decidedly not name that as a character trait he has. I feel like most of his dialogue just doesn’t have a great sense of character — in stark contrast to Freddie, who oozes character. I can’t get a good sense of who he is and how he thinks. He’s just there. And this also makes it harder to see what Florence sees in him and believe in the relationship.

Moreover, this Anatoly just comes across as kind of a terrible person, not in the fun coherent intentional way Freddie is a terrible person but in a flat, confusing and kind of unintentional-seeming way. Svetlana here is actually really sympathetic, with lovely little additional bits of dialogue that make her feelings hit harder (her voice as she tells Anatoly that ��You left us!” breaks my heart), and this is possibly my favorite version of Svetlana in any Chess. But Anatoly is really, really terrible to her, by which I don’t even mean the cheating on her but the bit where he keeps angrily insisting to her face that she never loved him and she brainwashed their children to hate him and of course they’re not going to kill her (hey, Anatoly, guess who’s already well aware that the Soviet government in this universe is not above executing people over chess?).

And even that could be made understandable, given his situation — he could just be in hard denial about it because the thought of them having been suffering with him gone and being punished for his actions is so horrific he just shuts it down — but there’s never any sense that that’s what’s really going on. We don’t see him privately upset about the possibility later, for instance — he just keeps insisting the same and dismissing Svetlana to Florence, too. We know it’s not that it’s true — we see Svetlana admit to Molokov that even though he ruined her life and she never wants to see him again she still loves him, and we hear her sing “Someone Else’s Story” and “I Know Him So Well”. Nor do we ever get any hint at exactly what Svetlana or his kids did to make him think this of them, if anything (his own kids!). Anatoly just seems to sort of bitterly, adamantly believe this for no reason at all. And that makes it impossible to empathize with. Okay, sure, Anatoly, you were taken from your family as a child, but that really doesn’t even start to explain any of this. There could have been ways of making it feel at least believable, tragic in a deeply fucked-up way, but the story here just doesn’t do the work. And once again, Anatoly being so unpleasant for no reason just makes it harder to feel at all invested in his relationship with Florence or sad when they part.

The best fix here isn’t quite obvious, and I can’t say I envy Danny Strong trying to put all his neat little ideas together and make them work. If Anatoly were to appear substantially conflicted about Svetlana and put any real stock in Molokov’s threat, that would render “Endgame”, where he doubles down anyway, kind of jarring and inexcusable as he’d be not just refusing to return to her but refusing to care if she is killed. So in order for this to properly work with “Endgame”, he probably does need to be very deep in denial about whether they’d really kill her. I think what I would do, if I were writing this plot where groomed-as-a-chess-champion Anatoly knows the Soviets killed Boris Ivanovich and they’ve threatened to kill Svetlana too, is to emphasize better how irrational Anatoly is being and try to show it more as a consequence of growing up among the constantly plotting KGB.

Let him go off on a proper paranoid rant to Florence about the reasons why he thinks Svetlana is just plotting against him, and some innocuous things he saw his kids do once that mean she brainwashed them. When Florence tries to challenge him on how batshit he sounds, he just storms out, saying she’s being taken in by their lies and just wants to sabotage him, and disappears — and she doesn’t see him again until he appears at the final game and plays this manic, desperate match while insisting to himself that Svetlana and Florence both just never understood him and hated his success. Afterwards, we can perhaps see him finally, quietly asking Molokov if they’re really going to kill her, showing that on some level he already knew the threat might be real and had just firmly blocked it out (in the actual ending as it is Molokov simply tells him unprompted that she really will be punished unless he comes back, and he just asks why with no addressing of his previous adamant insistence that that wouldn’t happen). His and Florence’s final conversation could then involve a bit more of a reckoning with that and with what his relationship with Svetlana was really like, through a more honest lens.

I’m actually pretty tickled by this scenario because that would really drive home a pretty fun parallel between Anatoly and Freddie — which in hindsight I think this version must in fact have been trying for, but didn’t quite do in a focused enough way for it to really hit. Anatoly and Freddie are both chess players with deeply abnormal childhoods and bouts of paranoia that cause them to behave in toxic ways, which ultimately drives Florence away from both of them.

This production shows the first chess game as the “Chess Game” instrumental playing under Freddie and Anatoly having alternating inner monologues about the game and their issues, deliberately drawing a comparison between the two of them; they both say they hate chess, that they don’t feel like real human beings. It’s not exactly subtle, but I liked the way this was used to build up their respective brain gremlins and was intrigued by the parallel being set up. I didn’t feel they ultimately did much with the parallel, though, because the story then didn’t really continue leaning into it much from there. By emphasizing this Anatoly’s paranoia as paranoia and not just as him legitimately thinking the marriage was never real and the KGB wouldn’t kill her, we could properly build the story around that parallel, and I would genuinely dig that.

The one place after the chess match where the actual thing does sort of try to get at the Anatoly/Freddie parallel again is in the dialogue scene that precedes “Endgame”. This scene is not sung (though it has the “Chess Game” instrumental in the background, which connects it neatly to that previous bit comparing the two of them), but it’s clearly based on “Talking Chess”: Freddie approaches Anatoly to tell him Viigand’s weakness lies in his King’s Indian Defense, and:

ANATOLY: Why are you helping me? FREDDIE: Jesus Christ! Am I the only one who cares about this game? ANATOLY: It’s more than a game now. There is so much more at stake than who wins or loses. FREDDIE: No! No, winning is everything. Fuck politics! Fuck the KGB, fuck the CIA, fuck them all! We are the ones who have dedicated our lives to chess. We are the ones who have given up everything for greatness — our childhoods, our sanity, our loves. Anatoly, we’ve sacrificed everything. They’ve sacrificed nothing. What’s the number one rule of a chess champion? ANATOLY: Play to win. FREDDIE: As long as you do that you can never lose, even if you do.

Much as I love “Talking Chess”, though, this on the surface similar scene just didn’t feel right in this context when I listened to it. In Anatoly’s last scene here, he told Florence firmly that he just wanted to win and that his marriage with Svetlana was never real and it’s all KGB mind games. Him going “It’s more than a game now, there’s so much more at stake” suddenly now comes out of nowhere — if he believes that now, it could only be if he actively reconsidered something offscreen, but he doesn’t say anything elaborating on what he’s thinking now or what he might have reconsidered or why, just that vague, generic line that contradicts everything he’s expressed up until this point. It’s another example of Anatoly’s dialogue just feeling really flat and meaningless to me — his lines here don’t say anything, just serve as vague filler to prompt Freddie onward. And because unlike London proper the setup leading up to this is all about him already being absolutely determined to win the game at all costs, this just feels redundant, unnecessary, going through the motions of something that’s in London without realizing that with the changed context it doesn’t quite make sense anymore.

I think that’s unfortunately the case with Freddie a bit here too. I enjoyed Act I’s quite different take on Freddie, and his establishing narration for Act II petulantly stating Anatoly won the championship last year “by forfeit, I might add”, and “The Interview” is recontextualized in a very fun way as I mentioned before — but after that it feels like Danny Strong doesn’t quite know what to do with Freddie anymore and just has him sort of arbitrarily go through the motions of London in a way that doesn’t necessarily hang together with everything he’s established of Freddie so far. It made sense that this Freddie, despite being decidedly hostile towards Walter and the CIA, conducted the interview to show Florence what a bastard Anatoly is — he’s not doing it for Walter, he’s got his own reasons to want to do it once Walter’s shown him the Svetlana video. But I find it a lot harder to swallow that this Freddie — whose usual problem seems to be that he’s compulsively blunt about how he really feels — would then be easily persuaded to play his part in “The Deal”, which involves exaggeratedly trying to be all buddy-buddy with Anatoly. Maybe if there was better setup around it, like with “The Interview” — but “The Deal” only has seconds of kind of half-assed leadup here, and from there it moves directly into “Pity the Child” (after a segue featuring the recording of Oppenheimer quoting the Bhagavad Gita, because nuclear war).

Freddie’s next appearance after that, then, is this “Talking Chess”-esque dialogue where he’s realized the parallel between the two of them, how they’ve both sacrificed everything for chess and the political schemers have sacrificed nothing and that’s why he should play to win. I can appreciate how the low point of “Pity the Child” would trigger that particular realization, contemplating how much he lost and sacrificed to achieve his status in the game and perhaps afterward realizing Anatoly is the only other person here who might understand that. That feels like it basically tracks and is interesting.

But… it also means that fun very specific contempt for Anatoly in particular based on him having left his family like Freddie’s own father did is just kind of… gone, I guess, or at least Freddie doesn’t consider it relevant enough for it to stop him from going out of his way to pep Anatoly up for the game with no mention or hint of it. (At least Freddie probably isn’t aware of the threats made against Svetlana in particular, so he doesn’t know Anatoly winning would shatter his family even further.) And we’ve lost the bit in “Talking Chess” where the notion of the political scheming actually leading to Viigand winning the match just personally offends Freddie because Viigand is not even that good; instead Freddie is just putting forward “Play to win” as some kind of general inviolable chess principle, which is kind of generic and not nearly as characterful, in my opinion. I’m not saying we ought to have had the “Viigand is mediocre” bit here — I don’t think it would quite fit in for this Freddie, whose feelings about chess itself are very conflicted and who is more concerned with showing up these political hacks who have sacrificed nothing while they sacrificed everything — but as a Freddie moment I would really have wanted to end on something stronger there than this vague assertion that “The number one rule of a chess champion is to play to win.”

Like in London, this is Freddie’s last substantial scene, but he does have a part in “Endgame”, and it’s also an interesting one: he gets Sixty-four squares / they’re the reason you know you exist (but not the preceding How straightforward the game…), but also a couple of other verses usually sung by the chorus, and the lines he gets are clearly very purposefully chosen to reinforce that final resolve regarding the sacrifices they’ve made for greatness, which I really appreciate: Listen to them shout / They saw you do it / In their minds no doubt / That you’ve been through it / Suffered for your art and in the end a winner and They’re completely enchanted / But they don’t take your qualities for granted / It isn’t very often / That the critics soften / Nonetheless, you’ve won their hearts / How can we begin to / Appreciate the work that you’ve put into / Your calling through the years / The blood, the sweat, the tears / The late, late, nights, the early starts?

All in all, Freddie is still definitely my favorite part of this Chess, but while the parallel itself is neat it’s too muddled and I find the second half of Act II pretty uneven for him. What would I do if I were writing this bit?

I’m not totally sure how I’d want to tackle “The Deal”, but as for the “Talking Chess”-but-not scene: I would ditch the bit where Freddie is trying to advise Anatoly on strategy and the bit where Anatoly is apparently suddenly not determined to play to win just so Freddie can then tell him he should be again. None of that is contributing anything in what this version has been building up. Instead, they just sort of bump into each other, Anatoly fresh off his paranoid rant to Florence about Svetlana, Freddie fresh off “Pity the Child” and the strange realization Anatoly might be the only person who’d understand him a little bit. At first they just sort of stop and look at each other. Freddie starts, guarded, with some kind of oblique accusatory prod about the leaving his family thing, which he still deeply resents.

Anatoly has calmed down now, but he tells him what he told Florence: that it was always a fake marriage, a fake family, that the video was just a lie set up for him by the KGB, that Svetlana had brainwashed their children to despise him.

This incidentally plays into Freddie’s existing preconceptions pretty well. He’s probably not instantly convinced but it checks out enough he’s willing to reluctantly leave it alone for now. Probably mutters something like, “Fucking Soviets.”

Anatoly says something like, aren’t you going to try to make me a deal to get me to throw the match and go back? Freddie says no, fuck that. Says the whole bit about how we are the ones who have dedicated ourselves to chess, who have sacrificed everything, childhood, sanity, love, and they’ve sacrificed nothing. Why should we listen to those CIA and KGB assholes? Draws out that parallel. The two of them are probably standing in symmetrical positions on the stage.

Anatoly just nods slowly, agreeing. “I would have beaten you.”

Freddie scoffs and says, “Dream on,” but not quite with the spiteful arrogance he would’ve said it in Act I.

Then they part, and we move on to “Endgame”. The scene isn’t about Freddie helping Anatoly, or about Freddie convincing Anatoly to go for the win; it’s about the Freddie/Anatoly parallel, about Freddie realizing it and in his profound loneliness finding a smidge of connection with this guy he hated because he’s the only one who sort of Gets It, and about showing how Anatoly’s conviction has developed since the first chess match where part of his inner monologue went, “I can’t beat him, he’s too good.” Anatoly is so ready to prove that he really is the world’s best chess player.

Conclusion

Man, this version is so interesting. It’s a mess, but it’s a fascinating mess with a bunch of tasty potential and a real sense that Danny Strong had some genuine thoughts on what the show was missing and how to rework it to fix that, even where his attempts were ultimately confused and don’t succeed. In some ways it’s the most me-core version of Chess and in other ways it’s deeply antithetical to me and in most all ways it’s trying to do something neat but does it in a flawed way. Special shoutout to this Freddie, who honestly deserves better than this Florence.

[hs-is-loml]

Flashbacks of You. (c.f)

masterlist

Pairing: Conrad Fisher x Fem!Reader, Conklin!Reader (Steven’s Twin)

Summary: flashback moments from you and conrad growing up. part three to the 'isn't the same without you' series!

isn't the same without you (part one), for you, always (part two), making you blush (part four)

Warnings: mainly fluff! little angst but comfort. mentions of cancer. first kiss...

a/n: SURPRISE FOR THE EARLY UPDATE!! you guys convinced me to do another so i thought the best thing for a third part would be flashbacks filled with very domestic fluffy moments of these two idiots who are together but are too pussy to make it official!

Age 7

“Can I sign your cast?” Conrad asked from beside you.

“Can I sign yours?” you threw back.

“Duh, why do you think I asked to sign yours,” he laughed.

You ran inside to grab a sharpie tripping on your way to the door.

“Don’t break another arm,” you hear Conrad tease.

Age 10

Your favorite part of the year was coming back to Cousins and spending time with the one and only, Conrad Fisher. Being separated for most of the year was hard on both of you. Neither of you really seemed to care for others while you were beside each other. Susannah would always say she saw a future with you two.

You guys shared a bunk bed in Conrad’s room with you being on the bottom bunk because of your fear of falling off the edge of the top. Though it seems Conrad never really spent much time on the top bunk, he would end up squeezing next to you at night wanting to talk more before going to bed. As your guys trailed off your conversations, you also seemed to dose off and fall asleep next to each other. 

Even from a young age you always picked each other's side of an argument or situation. Others found this extremely annoying knowing it would always be a 2 versus 1 if you came to a confrontation with one of them. Especially Steven.

“Steven, give it back,” you whined as he dangled your headphone above your head due to his sudden growth spurt that you seemed to lack.

“No, this is too fun,” he snorted at you.

“Ok, I get it you’re tall now, but come on I just want them back before you end up breaking them,” you scoffed.

“Steven, give it back to her,” you hear from behind you as Steven hands back the headphones with a frown walking away.

Conrad always had your back and defended you in as many ways as he could. He loved the sense of being able to protect you from even the smallest things. The best part was everyone kind of listened to him with him being the oldest out of all of us. 

 “Thanks, Connie,” you said appreciatively looking up to meet his eyes. 

“Anytime.”

Age 12

“You’ve always had the most gorgeous blue eyes, Con,” you confessed to him.

“What about them?” he asked confused.

“They’re so pretty, you know. Like as someone who has brown eyes, yours are much cooler.” you talked staring into his eyes to get a better look.

“Y/N, well you have a pretty smile,” he complimented you.

“You’re just saying that so you don’t seem rude.”

“When have I cared about being rude?”

“Actually, fair point.”

“Exactly.”

“How’s football going? Is your dad still pushing you to do it?” you asked.

“Yeah, he is, but it’s going great actually. The coach says I got some potential or something like that apparently.”

“It’s because you’re amazing, Conrad. Take pride in that.”

Age 15

From a very young age, you both showed the potential to be something more when you guys grew older. It was a shock to the families to hear about other significant others as you grew older and matured. Though as bad as it sounds your friendship was never strained during them. 

Finding out Susannah had cancer was tough on everyone. Nobody could ever imagine a life without her. Conrad took it worse than everyone though he felt like he could’ve done something to prevent it in reality there was nothing he could do. The second you guys were alone when you came back to Cousins. He told you all his worries about Susannah. 

That was the best part of your guys’ friendship (relationship) is that you would always be able to confide in each other. No judgment would ever be made. 

"There's no shame in crying, Conrad. I promise. It’s just me," you spoke softly into his ear as he clutched onto your sides, burying his head into your neck. You held him as you played with the hairs on the back of his neck as he tried to hold in the tears but simply couldn’t.

“I can’t lose her, Y/N,” he muttered. 

“And you won’t. Susannah’s strong. She’s the strongest person I know, and she will get through this. You know your mom she’s a fighter.”

“Thank you for being here.”

“I'll always be by your side.”

“I love you,” he said as he pulled back a little to look into your eyes.

“And, I love you,” you responded as you laid a gentle kiss on his forehead, he blushed.

Age 16 

“Happy birthday, Y/N!” you heard from around the room as you walked into your house. 

You looked around to see so many faces of the people you loved. You saw your parents, Steven, Belly, Taylor, a couple of your friends, and Steven’s, then you saw the Fishers standing to the side with bright smiles on their faces. Your eyes traveled to them one by one until you saw Conrad Fisher.

“Happy birthday, sweetheart!” Susannah spoke to you. 

“Hey, birthday girl,” Jeremiah said.

“Happy birthday, Y/N,” Adam added.

“Happy birthday, love,” Conrad finished.

You squealed at the sight of them. You ran to Conrad tackling him into a hug as you peppered kisses over his face.

“You’re here,” you said still in shock.

“Of course, I am,” he smirked. He let you go so you could greet the other people in the room and thank them. Everyone could see the love in his eyes as he watched you interact with everyone.

“Happy birthday, sis,” Steven laughed at your facial expression. He had just gotten back from a trip with your guys’ dad. You thought he would be gone for your shared birthday but everything was planned to surprise you. 

“I’m so glad, you made it in time.” you joked as you did a handshake you forced him to learn when you guys were seven. 

“How could I miss our birthday?” Steven claimed.

“Cause you said you would?” you mocked.

“Oh, shove you, dork. Go back to lover boy he might miss you,” he grinned as you shoved him with your shoulder as you walked to Conrad.

“Hey,” you greeted him as he turned his attention away from his brother to you.

“Hello to you too.”

“Come to the backyard with me?” you asked him.

“Yeah sure,” he answered.

-

“So how’s your birthday?” he asked as you two walked outside sitting under the shade.

“Better with you here,” you admitted.

“I missed you,” he confessed taking your hand in his. 

“I miss you too. Like all the time,” you replied giving his hand a squeeze. 

“It’s hard to sit here and be close to you and not want to kiss you,” he muttered under his breath hoping you wouldn’t notice but you did. 

“Then why don’t you?” you said as the words slipped out of your mouth. 

It felt like time stopped as he searched your face for any signs of hesitation, but there weren’t any. You had just turned sixteen but never had your first kiss yet. You were sure he knew that, but you hoped he didn’t notice your lack of experience. He leaned into you slightly like he was waiting for you to stop him, but you wanted this. You wanted him. You leaned more in until you felt his breath fan over your face. 

“Kiss me,” you whispered against his lips.

His lips pressed yours as his hand went to your waist. You responded immediately to the kiss putting your hand against his cheek. As he deepened the kiss his grip on your waist tighten as well. You let out a small gasp allowing him to slip his tongue into your mouth. Both of you fought for dominance but ended up with him winning. You pulled back enough to take in some air allowing Conrad to catch his breath as well. 

Each looking back at the other's lips waiting for the next move. Conrad pulls you so you're straddled on top of him as he reconnects your lips. You smiled into the kiss wrapping your arms around his neck as his hands moved to your hips. You moved forward slightly to lean more into him and he let out a groan against your mouth. He stilled in the kiss firmly keeping your hips in place from moving any further. Your lips parted from each other but stayed in the same position.

“I have your gift. Do you want it now?” he said moving one of his hands to his pocket and taking out a small box and showing it to you.

“Sure,” you said flushed taking the box in your hand as you unwrapped your arms from his neck.

“I thought you’d like it since you’re like obsessed with like space and stuff. I got a matching ring to it too you see. It’s okay if you don’t like it though I can totally get you something else if you want,” he rambled as you took out a moon and star necklace that matched a signet ring that rested on his left pinky. 

“I love it, Con. Thank you,” you giggled pressing a light kiss on his lips. 

[bookofmac]

okay okay okay, thinking thoughts

So I find the concept of Names really interesting in Camlann, reading into the extracanonical stuff put on the tumblr is giving me food for theory crafting. The Catacylsm seems to be some kind of return of magic to the world (possibly heralded by the return of The King of the Britons in their hour of need?) and thus people with significant Names have access to something because of it. they fall into the stories of their namesakes; Perry, Gwaine, and Kay are Knights, Morgan is Morgana Le Fay, and we now have a Gwen in Shújūn.

Based on Kay's dicussion with Perry if more people can fill in the roles of their stories to more 'to plan' the stories will go, Of course this is not good news if you know the general end point of Arthurian legend (Betrayal, muderer, war, most everyone dead, the 'Glory' of camelot gone). It's inherently kind of a doomsday cult if you stay in those stories, you know where parts of this are going (i'll get back to this)

it also seems like there may be some, for lack of a better term, kin drama going on. There are 900 members of the court and Kay mentions that Peredur is a really uncommon name outside of Wales, meaning there are certain knights who are more common, i assume Lancelot's, Kay's, maybe a few Talisin's, a bunch of Gareth's, and like 50 Elaines like in the legends lol

We also dont have the context for how Names work full yet and neither do our characters. I think theres a lot of answers to be had with Shújūn/Gwen with how it works, how you know other than the buzzing in you're head and desire go through the motions and Follow the Story

Now, where does Dai fit in all this?

Dai doesn't have a Name, and I think theres going to be a point where he changes his name in a major way, but not to a Name, but a Bardic name. In welsh poetic and story telling tradtions Welsh poets, THE OG Bards, will take on pseudonyms tell their stories. This practice stems from the medievil era, but goes forth to today, and many modern Welsh and welsh heritage poets have connections to this tradition (Dylan Thomas' middle name was his great uncles bardic name, Sarah Williams published her work under the name Sadie), I believe it's also a requirement to have one if you intend to perform in the major Eisteddfod, (I am Australian so my experiance of Eisteddfods here is very different so if i'm wrong on that let me know)

Why would he do this? I think Dai is going to, at least try, to write him and his friends a way out.

Much ink is spilt over how Arthurian legend doesnt have an 'orginal text', and as such there are lots of stories that are inherently contradictory; Bedwyr is the best knight, but so are Gwaine, Lancelot, and Galahad. Mordred is some random king until his Arthur's son. Arthur has a sister, no he has two, actually he has three and one of them is an Elaine. This could be used to explain any doubles (are you my Gwaine), as well as why we see a few different spelling varients which are, the very welsh Peredur as opposed to Percival or Parzifal, the anglisised and more boarish Kay as opposed to Cei or Caius (this last one might just to keep Dai and Kay distinct tho). These variations are no more or less 'canon' than any other telling of the story, and so often the writer of a given telling of Arthurian legend is going to have their own bias. But things dont HAVE to end the way they always do, and sometime you need to have someone outside the story you're caught in to tell you a new one.

You are not locked into that ever looming cloud of Thomas Mallory and Le Morte d'Arthur.

Other evidence I have for this is that Dai sings at the begining of each episode, and sings in welsh at that. He also is, to a point our narrator, existing both in and out of the current narative. Also his name is an a lyric of Sosban Fach (a song i would be surprised if it wasn't in the show at some point) 'Dai bach y sowldiwr' which is also not from the text the song was based on. Tangential yes, but i think it's worth thinking about.

I think there is also something to be said about choice in what your name is and how it feeds into the overall theme of identiy, and how that plays into other themes at play in the story, like Transness, Imperialism, and Predestination

TL:DR; While he doesnt have a Name, Dai's gonna give himself an epic bard name and save them all by writing a killer hook to get them out of the story

[avocado-writing]

Helloo would love love love some more Gabriel/Jim if you have any? Could be literally anything maybe a continuation of the last two or something but anything at all pleaseee 💕

notes: ask and ye shall receive 😌

pairing: Jim x reader

rating: T

“You’re joking. You must be.”

“Why would I be joking?” Jim furrows his brow, perplexed. You tap your spoon on the side of your coffee mug with vigour. 

“Because Notting Hill is a classic! I can’t believe you’ve never seen that film…”

Jim can actually count the number of films he’s seen on one hand - less than one hand really - because he’s seen none of them. But you seem to be incensed by the discovery of him not seeing this one in particular, so he remains quiet about all the others. 

“Are you free tonight? You could come over and we could watch it at my place. You could stay the night if you wanted. I could set the couch up for you! Or, you know, otherwise,” you say, not wanting to put too much pressure on the situation for a first overnight. But Jim lights up at the idea, excited. To be honest it’s nice to just take things slow with him. The relationship doesn’t seem to be hurtling towards sex, neither of you have brought it up, and that’s… fine. It’s nice, actually. It’s low pressure in a way you’re thoroughly enjoying, and Jim is a great boyfriend. 

For you, the event in the park is all but forgotten. 

It isn’t for Aziraphale and Crowley, though. That flash of Gabriel emerging a couple of weeks ago has very much seared itself into their psyches. Neither of them are certain what it means but they’re reasonably sure it can’t be good, so when Jim appears in the bookshop asking what he needs to bring to stay overnight at yours they’re a little… worried. 

“He’ll probably be fine,” Crowley reasons, not wanting to play devil’s advocate - well, not any more, at least - but having been significantly more affected by Gabriel than his lover. He knows the danger of the archangel. But at the same time Gabriel has never shown himself to be any danger to you, quite the opposite in fact; he seems rather smitten. This will be the first time they let him out of their sight for any significant amount of time and there’s a nervousness in the air which can’t be ignored. 

The two of them turn to see Jim packing as many books as he can into his overnight bag, “just in case”, and Aziraphale sighs.  

“Well they both have your mobile telephone number. If anything happens then they can get in contact. Besides, I’m sure nothing will go wrong.”

Neither of them say anything as Jim hoists his several-kilogram backpack onto his shoulder and grins. 

🪽

“Hey! So I’ve ordered pizza and set up the film on the tv in the lounge. Do you want a drink?”

You give Jim a greeting kiss and he grins in a dopey sort of happiness at it. 

“Sure, thanks. What kind of drink?”

“Well, I have wine, or uh, Pepsi?”

“Yes, Pepsi. Please,” he says quickly. He recently became aware of its delights and spent a whole evening at the shop drinking a two-litre bottle and giggling between every sip. You load up the pint glasses which, in traditional English fashion you nicked from the pub, and settle in for a film night with Jim. 

The pizzas arrive about halfway through Notting Hill and you think Jim might explode at the narrative being interrupted. When the pepperoni feasts are devoured and the boxes shoved into the recycling, the two of you end up in a slouchy sort of cuddle. Your head falls onto his shoulder and by the end of Four Weddings and a Funeral you’re fast asleep. 

Jim looks down at you. You’ve managed to miss some marinara when you wiped your mouth so it’s smudged on your lip, but you’re none the wiser. Your chest rises and falls easily and your eyelids flutter as you dream. 

Because he’s pretty sure that Aziraphale and Crowley have done the same for him when he’s fallen asleep, he gently carries you to your bed, lays you down, tucks you in, and whispers ‘goodnight’ knowing that you won’t hear. And then he means to head back to the couch to go to sleep. 

At around two in the morning you stir, desperate for a wee. That is the unfortunate downside of Pepsi. You swing your legs over the side of the bed—

And your heart stops. 

Gabriel is standing there. In the corner. His eyes so luminously purple that they light the room around him. He’s been watching you for some time now, just observing the way that you breathe. He wondered if he should get in bed and hold you. Just to satiate his own wonder about how you feel. Too late for that now, you’ve spotted him. 

“Be not afraid,” he says.

You scream. 

🪽

The next morning Crowley wakes up to a text message from you.

I think there’s something wrong with Jim. 

“Bollocks,” he says. 

[raxistaicho]

Something I feel is key to any discussion about why Jeralt might have acted so severely when it comes to Rhea is his personal experience with the woman, what he thinks of her, what he feels he owes her, and what she did for him that she didn't do for others, including Sitri.

In the first support with Rhea we learn from her personally that Jeralt would likely describe her as "frightening" and that she sincerely doubts Jeralt would ever call her "incredible." She's also hurt by the truth that he never mentioned her. Jeralt himself wrote that he thought the world of Rhea, but there is also significant evidence to suggest that Rhea is not close with anyone but Byleth. Catherine's jealousy of Byleth, Rhea's admission of lonliness, and Archbishop Rhea's event in Fire Emblem Heroes all speak to intentional personal isolation. Jeralt was probably about as close to Rhea as Catherine was. They don't actually know her, just her authority, strength, and how she saved them. (Faerghus born. You do as your leader tells you and dedicate yourself to them fully.)

300+ years by Rhea's side. Garreg Mach has existed for nearly 1000 years. Sitri is attempt 11 at creating a vessel for the Goddess. (12 is a significant number in this game, as it also relates to the Nemesis having 11 Elites, 10 known and 1 secret, Edelgard having 11 siblings, 10 known and 1 step sibling, and putting Byleth at 13th for the vessels, which breaks the trend, but still maintains associations with the Olympians, bad luck, betrayal, and the Death tarot card indicating a need for change just like with Sylvain.) Thematic trivia aside, even at 1 vessel every 100 years, Jeralt was witness to 3 attempts, possibly 4 (Sitri) at using Sothis' Crest Stone to create a vessel.

We don't know too much about the others, whether their lives were akin to Sitri's or if they died at birth, or even if they lived full lives. Two of those options, and assuming Rhea got better at making vessels over time, means Jeralt likely met some of them. This was, as stated by Rhea, her mission after all. That and keeping Fodlan at peace so she could bring Sothis back to it.

Jeralt doesn't seem the kind to really give a shit about the arcane or experimentation in general. I doubt he knows what the hell has been happening the whole time he's been alongside Rhea. He just knows that she is something very powerful. He warns Byleth not to trust her, and granted this is right after returning to Garreg Mach after running away because he doesn't trust her, it's equally important to recognise why Jeralt went back after all this time. He knows he doesn't have a choice. Alois found him and clocked that he has a child. That guy has a big mouth and Rhea would absolutely find out. Refusing her isn't something within his power to do or he wouldn't have stolen away into the night in the first place.

He doesn't really object to what the Church is doing, he did it for long enough, but he knows that he's outclassed by Rhea and doesn't have the power to refuse her. That's why he faked Byleth's death and informed Rhea before leaving instead of just taking the kid and running. (We know Jeralt doesn't leave until after the fire has been quelled because he is the one to tell her the news of Byleth's death.) She would have stopped them.

So what DOES Jeralt know about Rhea and her experimentation?

Well, a big thing is that Jeralt is very aware that he should be dead. That he died in a battle as a young man saving Rhea from death.

Rhea says that Jeralt was mortally wounded, and we don't know enough about what (pure) Nabatean blood can actually do to a person to say either way if a person needs to be alive for the resurrection to work, but the Elites and Nemesis were definitely dead if that helps confuse matters. (I mention pure Nabatean blood to disqualify Seteth, Flayn, and Seteth's brothers. We know for a fact that Rhea is directly related to Sothis, but neither Seteth, his brothers, or Flayn state a definite relationship to Rhea like they do with each other, or state a direct relationship to Sothis as Rhea does.)

Jeralt feels like he owes his life to Rhea right up until the events with Sitri and Byleth. She did save him after all and Faerghus goes a long way to instill ideas of eternal loyalty to a ruler/leader.

He knows, personally and for a fact that Rhea can bring people back from near death. Mortally wounded. Something seen as beyond exceptional in a world where 1hp is fixed up with healing magic no problem and Miracle exists. It also gave him a Major Crest. Something Jeralt doesn't seem as very keen on mentioning and definitely didn't make him start acting like one of the Goddess' chosen. He likely knew something was up even then, but not what it was.

Coupled with 300 years of working alongside a woman who also doesn't age, perpetuates a history of Crests being granted by the Goddess, which contradicts his lived experience, and the knowledge that Rhea is essentially an arbiter on who lives and who dies even from wounds so fatal that Faith magic was a lacking intervention. He's probably asking himself...

Why is Sitri dead?

What the hell could have happened in there that the Archbishop of over 300 years, the Goddess' most dedicated servant couldn't use Faith magic to prevent? What happened in there that was so severe the method Rhea used to save him all those years ago wasn't viable? Why didn't Rhea save his wife? He's been her Captain for several centuries! Sitri was akin to a daughter to Rhea! (Something very uncommon.) What profane thing could have stopped *her* from getting her way?

Then there's the matter of Byleth's heartbeat, how they don't cry, how they don't emote or fuss, or anything at all. Not to mention the fact that Byleth might possibly have a scar over their chest.

What does "traded her life for" *actually* mean? He doesn't know about the Crest Stone, but he knows Rhea can do *something* to save a life. But why would that be necessary? The line sounds like the death in childbirth was the exchange, but that shouldn't have killed someone in Rhea's care. Not according to all the information he has.

She has to have done something. He doesn't know what it is, but Rhea made the choice to exchange Sitri's life for Byleth's and now she's covetous of the child, telling Jeralt not to worry and having them watched.

Jeralt mentioning how Rhea reacted to Byleth's death is also telling.

"Lady Rhea was in a state over the news."

Lady Rhea wasn't in a state over Aelfric's death, or Jeralt's. I expect she wasn't in a state over Sitri's not because she doesn't care about her as much as she does Byleth, but due to the circumstances of Sitri's death, it was a request out of love.

So if Rhea is known to be hard to crack, and Jeralt believes her to be terrifying, and Rhea believes Jeralt should think she's terrifying, what other "states" does Rhea have? It must have been significant for Jeralt to be shaken and Rhea to understand that reaction even from someone who thought the world of her. It's probably nothing as severe as turning into the Immaculate One. But Rhea just lost access to her mother's Crest Stone. *The* thing she needs to bring Sothis back. The reason she's doing all of this! Echoes of "give it back" ring in my mind. She definitely did well to not degenerate right then. Possibly because Byleth's body would still be in Garreg Mach, and then later when she realised the deception, out there in the world guarded by the man who kept her safe for 300 years and loved his child enough to fake their death. The same man who cared for Sitri. Rhea would have needed to wait for Byleth to grow up anyway, and she, Jeralt and Byleth have nothing but time.

Back to Jeralt specifically. The veritable necromancer in his life didn't save his wife during a childbirth, seems to want to keep Byleth close, which can't be because they're Sitri's child otherwise, why not just save Sitri, y'know? So Sitri needed to die and Byleth is even stranger than their mother was.

Sitri also didn't emote to anyone but Jeralt (Crest of Seiros), but Byleth isn't emoting even for him. (*Heavy bias* but the trigger for Byleth was probably the proximity of another Crest of Flames.) So his child is even stranger than their mother, maybe even in the same way as the other vessels he incidentally met over the years.

Really the only conclusion Jeralt can draw is that Rhea did something to Byleth and Sitri. Traded their lives. Something beyond healing magic or whatever thing Rhea did to him. Something immense, beyond even the baseline be already has for her capable of granting an extended life and Crest. Something that might have been the reason Sitri could never leave the monastery. She was unwell, but Jeralt is a very capable man. Byleth seemed healthy, but the Church didn't seem willing to let them go.

It's not at all a stretch, even with the little Jeralt actually knows, to assume Rhea did something profound.

Not divine. At least not in any way she advertises.

Did she swap their souls? Something like that?

Did he find it strange later in life that Byleth didn't manifest his Crest of Seiros? Even if he didn't buy into the Goddess blessing, he must know through sheer exposure that Crests are inherited and that the further the bloodlines get from those originally "blessed" the likelihood goes down. As someone personally "blessed" with a Major Crest, Byleth not having one is an oddity itself.

Maybe that's what kept him away.

Jeralt didn't just leave. He stayed away. He stayed away for two decades, making the choice not to return every time he thought about it.

This wasn't just about whatever Rhea did, it was also about what Rhea might have done to Byleth, trapping them in Garreg Mach like she did to their mother, his wife.

And he was right. He saw the writing on the wall perfectly. Rhea actually giving such a shit about Byleth's "death" confirmed it in his mind. Rhea did something forbidden (confirmed by Seteth in FEH) and his child was the subject. He's even still fearful and that's why he lies to Rhea at first. "This is not Sitri's child. I know you care about them being Sitri's child. This isn't about me." Is basically what he's saying.

Make whatever excuses you will, but Rhea wasn't not going to try and have Sothis brought out in Byleth just because they stayed at the Monastery.

Imagine if Rhea had been the one to hear Byleth was dreaming of the war with Nemesis?

That kid is never ever leaving those halls. Jeralt be damned.

I think Rhea is a fantastic character, she's amazing, third only to Byleth and Edelgard in my mind. But don't for one second think her intention isn't Sothis first, Byleth second. That's why we went to the Holy Tomb.

Jeralt wasn't irrational. Rhea isn't suddenly "right" because the ritual with the throne didn't work. We actually don't even know if that's the case or if Sothis just beat Rhea to the punch and gave herself up to Byleth before the reverse was made to happen.

Her intention to have Sothis overtake Byleth was the thing Jeralt was detecting. The feasibility of that act is secondary to Rhea's sudden possible human sacrifice of the woman he loved. If someone looks like they're going to murder you, you don't say "let's see how this plays out." You take precautions, and his theory was validated enough by Rhea's reaction to Byleth's faked death and was enough to keep him away every day afterwards.

If the ritual at the Holy Tomb had worked, killing Jeralt might have been the Slither's most colossal fuck up, because he might have been the only person besides Edelgard to have enough knowledge to even think about intervening.

Bonus Jeralt theory. Jeralt doesn't align with any nation anymore. He doesn't wear any of their colours. However, the closest match is the Alliance. Why? Well, Jeralt was born over 300 years ago and served the Faerghus military, however, his homeland very well might have been one of the ones that broke off into the Alliance after he had already joined Rhea.

Since he then goes on to live in Remire, Jeralt could be one of the only characters to have relevant ties to all three nations.

The separation of his homeland from the Kingdom might also has served to make him disinterested in the idea of sovereignty or the idea that Fodlan even has nations worth mentioning since they can just *change* whenever. Again, something we see happen in the game itself as Fodlan reunifies in what would have been his lifespan had Kronya not cut it... long? Either way, it explains why he does not care where he was from or bother to explain anything to Byleth, it's all immaterial if you live long enough. (Which also reflects Rhea's view of Fodlan.)

(Apologies for writing you another novel. I hope you don't mind, I'm incapable of brevity. I just think the idea Jeralt overreacted with the amount of context he had about Rhea's abilities, especially since he was 100% correct, is silly. Also the Crest of Seiros is The High Priestess and that's all about trusting your intuition, which is what he did, and he dies soon after he second-guesses his decision. Theming!)

Nah, don't worry, that was all very interesting! :) Thanks for sharing your thoughts and analysis!

[worriedvision]

Out of his league - Tighnari (Part 3)

Part 2 here! I know it was a Tighnari fic but Cyno’s taken over it lol! Gender neutral reader. Possibly out of character Cyno.

--

You and Cyno write to each other often, and you eventually find out his address was... quite a distance away. The more you found out about him, the more you were worried he would do the same thing Tighnari did. When you ask him if he would still be happy writing to each other when you had the time, he agreed. You still hadn’t heard each others voices yet, but you found the letters kept the feelings strong. 

One day, you are asked to escort Tighnari’s significant other to Cyno’s workplace. You didn’t know why she looked to terrified, Cyno wasn’t a scary person as long as you didn’t break any serious rules, and from what you saw she was lovely. Maybe she was worried because her boyfriend couldn’t take her, which you could understand. Tighnari did have his reasons, however - mainly because he had his responsibilities as a full time forest ranger, and the fact he couldn’t tolerate the heat. 

Neither of you had time just to the both of you, and you knew that this woman knew about Tighnari playing with your feelings. You talk briefly during the walk, her making sure he wasn’t still teasing you and showing slight signs of jealousy at first. You elaborate and tell her that you no longer had feelings for Tighnari, telling her all about the dreamy man you write to. She can’t help but giggle when she hears you gushing about your special someone who wasn’t official but felt official, and she almost forgets that she was called for a meeting regarding a very serious situation she was involved with. 

You eventually arrive, and the guards take her in. They look over, and you explain you’re only an escort, and you request to stand out purely because the meeting really wasn’t any of your business. They nod, seeming to be relieved that you didn’t beg to go in with this woman to speak for her. Of course, someone keeps you company, not saying a word but giving a nod of acknowledgement. 

A half hour later, and the doors open, but only the guards come out. Along with your new friend. He spots you, and his eyes seem to relax. Turning to the guards, he gives them a look to give him privacy alone with you. 

When the both of you are alone, he turns to face you. He knows he didn’t have a lot of time with you, but he wanted to do this with his voice instead of pen and paper.

“...Let’s date.” He asks. You yelp at the sound of his voice, before reassuring him that you liked his voice.

“Sure! I- I mean, sure.” You correct your voice, Cyno nodding before he gets called. 

His next appointment arrived.

“I’ll talk to you later.” You say, beginning to walk. Cyno pulls your hand back, deciding to hug you for a tender second before nodding. 

--

When you get back, you didn’t see Tighnari anywhere. You ask your friend, who explained that Tighnari needed some time alone after he found out his significant other had been arrested for something he wasn’t allowed more details on.

Now, if this was before you met Cyno, you would have gotten onto the first opportunity to reassure Tighnari once he was back that he had nothing to do with it, that you would always love him before sprinkling in an ‘as a friend’ statement. But now? 

You had Cyno. 

Tighnari tries to do what he did before meeting his significant other, flirting with you, only to see that you weren’t responding in the way you used to. Even when he sounded more genuine with his flirting, you didn’t give the reactions he wanted. He realised over the duration of him trying to get a reaction out of you that, actually, he did have some feelings. He was rather immature about these feelings, but after he realised them, he starts trying to give you flowers he finds during his walks. When you don’t accept them, he decides to talk properly.

“I’m sorry I played with your heart.” Tighnari starts, hoping you’d warm up again. “I’m no expert in these things.”

You shrug in response, a response Tighnari hated seeing.

“It’s okay, I’ve moved on anyway.” You reply. 

“Who?” Tighnari starts to go through the names of other forest rangers. None of them were close enough to you that you could be considered dating. 

“Do you remember the man I thought was going to hurt me?” You start. Tighnari nods, asking if you were safe. You brush it off, saying yes before continuing. “It turns out he’s a really nice guy. Saw him today, in fact.” You smile, a look in your eyes that Tighnari hated more than the shrug you did. “Today we made it official. Now you won’t have to worry about me struggling to deal with your comments.”

Before he can interrogate you further on who this was, however, you walk away, lots of energy in your steps as you think about what you were going to write to Cyno tonight.

[blues-valentine]

It’s annoying seeing ppl act like everything ben has to offer aaa throwing insults at Devi and take out of context their entire dynamic and want to paint him as bully.

I think there’s legitimate reasons to find Ben unlikable but one of my biggest pet peeves upon interacting in this circle is the fake concern and refusal to acknowledge Ben and Devi’s dynamic for what it is and that NHIE is a comedy show and approaches scenes that way.

Ben and Devi’s entire dynamic was based on mutual rivalry. A big portion of this fandom wants to pretend Devi was a victim of Ben’s insults and their dynamic was one-sided, like she wasn’t giving exactly what she was receiving from him. They both go after each other. Their dynamic was born out of mutual "hate" and later turned into insults neither of them cares about. The point about Ben and Devi's comedic dynamic is that we as an audience should know that none of those insults are actually serious. Ben and Devi don't care.

But there's a side that wants to rally and be "morally superior".

Ben calling Devi UN did impact her and it was an awful thing to do and you can hate it while admitting that is a term that has not value anymore and both have moved on. Part of this fandom loves to take Ben's lines at face value but never mention that N*zi comment Devi threw at him (you dont care about Jewish people, get it). It's never been that deep once they found themselves in a genuine friendship.

You can hate his insensible comments from Season 1, and don’t ship him with Devi because that's valid. It's the refusal to acknowledge there’s a significant difference in his banter/insults with Devi since becoming friends. He really cares about her and would stop if she was uncomfortable (and she isn't). And, while I get why some people don't like the “David” – it has never been that deep on the show. Devi does not care. And that's a nickname Jaren uses for Maitreyi in real life too, might you. After 12 years, if Devi had wanted him to stop, she would’ve told him off but she doesn't care and it has turned into a term of endearment and familiarity, not a "degrading" nickname. Both Devi and Ben are mean towards each other in a comfortable space and would put boundaries if needed. You can absolutely agree that Ben is too brash and a condescending, privileged snub that has a lot to learn but it's not irredeemable. I like the fact he can be unlikable. I don’t consume media expecting flawless characters.

I feel like people came up with this whole “Ben entire persona is insulting Devi” because fan wars have become this thing where you need to make the other side the “enemy” to feel like you are in the “better” side. You don't have to like them but painting their dynamic as if he was Devi's bully is a bit wild. Ben has done incredible things for her and there’s a mutual friendship. They do seek each other out when the other needs them. He knows her like no one else does and it's always there to push her to be the best version both academically and with her loved ones. They are compatible because they are both driven and share the same humor. Devi likes that dynamic with Ben. She doesn’t feel dumb down by him but challenged. Both have grown and their banter has become more friendly because now they know neither of them are serious. You can hate it, don’t enjoy it but it’s the lies about their dynamic that feels like nitpicking and if I didn't watch the show and it's context I would think he is awful too.

And Ben is literally head over heels for that girl. He thinks she’s perfect and she knows it. Devi is not longer the poor insecure girl some want her to be. Let them insult each other as part of their kinky full hatred flirting ways and move on. It’s never been that serious. I think there’s other ships that deserve that energy instead.

[enlightenedrobot]

Concerning the Mouse

Disclaimer. This is a blog post. It's not an essay or legal advice or any of that. It's mostly a collection of thoughts. If you want something a little more well researched, might I suggest this post here. Anyways, let's talk about this lovable rat right here.

As of January 1st, 2024, Mickey Mouse, as depicted in Steamboat Willie, The Galloping Goncho, and Plane Crazy is in the public domain. Personally, I've been looking forward to this, and I've kinda taken it as a personal challenge to figure out how exactly I can reinterpret the mouse for my own projects. And I actually think I got it. But before that... let's talk about this.

I don't think the image above is safe.

It's true, Steamboat Willie is in the public domain, but Mickey Mouse is still protected by trademark law, and those frames and that get up specifically are still very much protected.

I can't be too sure about this, because both Infestation 88 (The Videogame) and Mickey's Mouse Trap (The Horror Movie) seem to use variations of this specific design, but like... those ears are probably still protected, as are those pants. This version of Mickey also lacks his iconic white gloves, but contrary to what other people might say, I don't think "old cartoon wearing white gloves" is something uniquely trademarkable to the Disney corporation.

So if you wanna play it safe, it might be a good idea to use other elements provided by these cartoons as the base for your own interpretation of the character.

This is the version of Mickey Mouse as depicted in the title card of Steamboat Willie, and like, there's a bit more to work with here. His pants have stripes not seen in other incarnations of the character, and he also has a pretty distinct hat and cane.

More notably, his eyes are actually very different from Modern Mickey. They're huge, and the pie eyes that everybody associates with this era of animation are actually pupils. Not the eyes by themself.

What's funny is that there's a definite resemblances between these eyes and those of Sonic the Hedgehog. Sonic was apparently based on Mickey Mouse, so I'm not super surprised.

Those eyes in the title screen actually seem to be a holdover from Plane Crazy, where Mickey Mouse continues to have huge eyes. From that same cartoon, We also have Mickey Mouse deliberately messing up his hair to resemble the pilot Charles Lindbergh.

And like... it's cute. It's a look.

One thing I also keep seeing on social media is that Mickey Mouse has to be Black and White and he's not allowed to speak, because both Mickey's voice and his iconic red pants wouldn't be used until much later.

But like... you're allowed to build on these designs. Just because you can't color his shorts red doesn't mean you can't use color period. And using a different voice for the mouse is a very good way to differentiate your incarnation of the character from Disney's. This isn't legal advice, but I do believe you could get away with giving him a different colored outfit and, say, a deep souther accent ala Foghorn Leghorn.

Anyways, with all this in mind, allow me to introduce my own take on the character, Micheal Elias Mouse Jr. (Mike E. Mouse for short)

He's a former childstar, the son of the original Mickey Mouse, and an intellectual property lawyer with a dubious degree.

I intentionally made him rattier to make him more distinct, but don't let the smell of beef and cheese scare you off. This mouse might of been hit by hard times, but he still has a big heart, and deep down he's still the mouse we all know and love.

From a design standpoint, I tried my best to make the character recognizably mickey life while also changing up the original silhouette. Neither of the ears are perfect circles and one of them has a pretty significant bite taken out of it. The ratty hair and hat also help.

His gloves are yellow, inspired by various promotional materials for the original Steamboat Willie where Mickey dawns yellow gloves instead of the usual white. Further, I changed up the design of his shorts just because pushing the design that much further would help make this version of the character distinct from the Disney version.

If I'm not already protected by the public domain, I'm also protected by the fact that this character is obviously a parody. Middle aged dilf Mickey is not something Disney would never make, and the story I have in mind for him is more or less critical of the Disney corporation while still celebrating the artistry of the original cartoons and animation on the whole.

Anyways, Mickey Mouse entering the public domain is a big win for creatives everywhere, especially for fans of the original character. My interpretation isn't the only valid take on the character out there and I'm excited to see where everyone else goes now that the rat is free use.

[verdantcrimson]

Heaven and Earth / Creation of Heaven and Earth - 2

(Unproofread)

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[An hour later, a discussion room in the RhythmLink office.]

Souma: Kiryu-dono, I have made some tea for you. Here.

Kuro: Thanks. I’m parched, all that studyin’ was more exhaustin’ than a workout.

Souma: Fufu. Once again, thank you for your hard work…♪

Souma: However, Hasumi-dono has been involved in discussions for quite a while now. We had merely come here to accept the job offer to host ‘Rumbling Heaven and Earth’.

Souma: From what I could see, he has been talking to the higher-ups with a rather terse expression.

Kuro: Maybe they’re sayin’ somethin’ like “Actually, we changed our minds, we don't wanna give you youngsters this job”.

Kuro: I’m worried about him, cause if somethin’ like that is happenin’, he’s gonna be all stubborn and pushy about it. It’d be better if we didn’t piss off the higher-ups and have them turn on us.

Kuro: I know Hasumi always has a lot on his mind, but I’d personally prefer he just drop it instead of gettin’ in trouble with the agency.

Souma: Fufu. It seems as though Kiryu-dono is truly determined not to study.

Kuro: I just don't understand people that actually like studyin’. You seem to enjoy it a bunch though, Kanzaki.

Souma: I believe that the accumulation of knowledge is similar to training one's muscles or mastery of an art.

Souma: The difference simply lies in the fact that what is being exercised is the brain, rather than the body.

Kuro: The thought of trainin’ my brain never crossed my mind, cause I never really needed it.

Kuro: But well, just like trainin’ your body, it's not really useful in today's peaceful world. Bein’ good at beatin’ people up doesn't matter in this day and age.

Souma: Umu. Neither knowledge, nor martial arts, are strictly necessary to live in the modern world.

Souma: However, that is largely the reason that grants it significance.

Souma: Which makes one wonder, would it really be ‘correct’ to simply forgo it?

Souma: Humans are the only animals on this planet with a ‘culture’. We do not subsist solely on food.

Souma: Isn't the very fact that we have lived while partaking in such unnecessary behaviors what makes humanity valuable?

Kuro: Seems like you're thinkin’ about some seriously deep stuff, Kanzaki.

Souma: Yes. And I am speaking quite seriously, so I would appreciate for you to listen seriously.

Keito: —Sorry for the delay. I had expected this to be a short and easy conversation.

Keito: There was a surprising amount of confusion and contention. How incorrigible.

Kuro: Use words an idiot can understand. Cuntenshi- What's that?

Keito: Simply put, the agency has just revealed quite a few troublesome things just now.

Keito: If we are to take on the job of hosting ‘Rumbling Heaven and Earth’, we have to fulfill a set of conditions presented to us—

Souma: What…? Were they not the ones that approached us in the first place? It does leave an acrid taste in one's mouth to have it be revealed to one that the job they are on the cusp of undertaking covertly has strings attached.

Kuro: I'd appreciate if ya spoke in plain Japanese for once, Kanzaki. Well, I've known ya long enough that I can pretty much understand what you're sayin’ through vibes.

Kuro: So basically, the agency is bein’ an unreasonable pain again, right?

Keito: I wouldn't necessarily call this particular case unreasonable. Since ‘Rumbling Heaven and Earth’ is such a long-running show, there are more involved parties than in other shows.

Souma: By involved parties, you mean to say?

Keito: If I were to specify, it's that ‘Rumbling Heaven and Earth’ is a program produced with the support and opinion of actual historians.

Keito: Which sounds about right. Since it's an educational history show, it goes without saying that they would create it with the support of major authorities in the field.

Kuro: Oh so It's like if ya wanted to open a food stall, how that territory's established yakuza gang would say “ya gotta pay a protection fee to open up shop!”

Souma: Kiryu-dono, being Kiryu-dono, often speaks in a manner difficult for me to comprehend.

Keito: You don't have to go and learn that strange Kiryu-nese (?) language.

Keito: Anyways. Though we aren't being asked to pay a ‘protection fee’ of any sort—

Keito: I was told that in order to become the hosts of this show, we had to gain the recognition of the show's advisors.

Keito: Even if we, and the agency, feel like we're up to the task, the show won't succeed unless the advisors approve of it.

Keito: They said that without their approval, the show would be unfit to air.

Keito: So that's why, we have to travel around to seek the approval of those advisors— A group of historians known as the ‘Three Sages’.

Keito: We must have these ‘Three Sages’ endorse us as suitable hosts for ‘Rumbling Heaven and Earth’.

Kuro: They're called the ‘Three Sages’ huh… Doesn't it sound like somethin’ from a video game or manga?

Keito: That’s a rather interesting way to put it. Well, it is similar to your standard RPG storyline. Like when they say you must collect these five crystals to restore peace in the land.

Keito: It sounds ridiculous, but this is a crucial step. It's a journey we must go on in order to reach a brighter future.

Keito: In order for our protagonists to embark on their journey, they must first be recognized as heroes by a higher power. That’s how the story goes.

Kuro: And to do that, we gotta collect proof of our heroic deeds.

Kuro: Got it. If that's what we need, let's go and get it. Sounds a whole lot more fun that bein’ stuck at a desk and groanin’ over textbooks.

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[kaiwewi]

Miscommunication

Synopsis: the hero seems to be preferring Other Villain's company. Villain has a very hard time accepting that.

“You talk to Other Villain.”

The hero frowned at them, again. “Huh?”

“I said…” They glowered at their silly little foe. For that was definitely all the hero was to them, just some stupid enemy, certainly nothing special. “You always talk to Other Villain.”

“Other Villain?” the hero repeated, sounding wary.

“Yes, Other Villain!” Why did the hero have to make them repeat that disgusting name over and over again? Rude. “Why them? You never just hang around and talk with me. You can’t seriously think they’ve got something I don’t.”

Other Villain was a pretentious jerk, so they rather thought that they were the one who had quite a few things that Other Villain didn’t have. For example, a personality.

That really wasn’t the point though.

Or maybe it was. It kind of was.…

“Sorry?” The hero’s face was definitely flushing, which didn’t at all make them look cute. It didn’t. “I- I just… don’t understand you?”

Wow, wasn’t that rich.

“You just don’t understand me,” they mimicked, sneering. “What, am I not articulate enough for you? Not as ‘well-spoken’ as Other Villain?”

(Other Villain was not well-spoken.)

The way they’d spit Other Villain’s name made it sound like an insult and even that was still way too good for that prick. Everything was too good for that prick.

Especially the hero.

How anyone could stand Other Villain’s presence for longer than a minute was beyond them. The hero didn’t seem to think so though, constantly making idle conversation and sometimes even banter – banter! – with the bastard.

“Uhm, I… I don’t really know…” the hero trailed off, looking very uncomfortable.

Why? Because they’d insulted Other Villain? Would someone as good as the hero really feel bad on Other Villain’s behalf?

Somehow, the mere idea was truly infuriating.

“You know,” they said and closed in on the hero, making their nemesis retreat towards the wall until the hero was trapped between them and the cold brick stones, “I find it rude that you bicker with Other Villain and laugh about their lame ass jokes, and yet you won’t even have the courtesy to acknowledge me when I’m trying to make small talk.

“You don’t even pretend to pay attention when I monologue. All you ever do is frown at me.”

They searched the hero’s eyes – wide and confused – with their own narrow-eyed gaze. The hero’s brows were creased deeper than ever.

Perhaps the hero simply didn’t care, didn’t give a single fuck about them.

Their hands curled into fists, and something in them snapped.

“If you hate me, at least tell me to my face,” they shouted. They hadn’t meant to shout.

The hero shrank back. “What? That’s not true!”

They shoved the hero then. They hadn’t meant to do that either.

But how dare the hero suddenly play at innocence now? Did the hero really not realise how they were feeling, being ignored and scorned without having done anything near significant enough to warrant such a treatment?

They’d actually put in a lot of completely fruitless effort over the past couple of weeks, being all polite and friendly, always trying to engage the hero in conversation. To which they’d received nothing in return.

Nichts. Nada. Niente.

It wasn’t fair.

“Fantastic.” They gave the hero the nastiest look they could muster, and if their bottom lip was trembling that was due to anger and nothing else. “Keep playing dumb then.”

“I just… don’t understand,” the hero said in a voice so small they might as well have been whispering. Shuffling their feet, agitated and looking extremely unhappy, the hero chewed on their bottom lip.

Dammit all. They should have known this would be a colossal waste of time.

They could have cried, or laughed. Neither seemed like an appropriate reaction. What difference did it make anyway? Why did they even care in the first place?

They swallowed against the lump in their throat, taking two steps back to allow the hero enough space to brush past them.

The hero didn’t leave though, only stared at them, red-faced and fidgeting.

“Okay listen,” the hero finally said, a little too loud and a little too fast, “I can’t talk to you.”

A muscle in their jaw twitched. If this would turn out to be some nonsense, bullshit excuse…

“No, I didn’t mean…” The hero cringed, then blurted, “it’s your stupid mask!”

“My… mask?” they repeated dumbly, pointing a finger at their face. What the fuck.

The hero nodded emphatically.

“Look, I can tell you’re upset. I think it’s about talking. And about Other Villain?” The frown on the hero’s face turned into a proper scowl. “But I can’t help it, okay?!” They sounded angry now, or perhaps only frustrated. Very, very frustrated.

Gritting their teeth and pointing a finger accusingly at them, the hero said, “my hearing is bad and I need to read lips. But I can’t do that because of your stupid mask covering your stupid mouth.”

Oh. Wow. Huh. Shit. Well, that explained a lot.

“Oh,” they said, staring blankly back at the hero. All traces of anger and annoyance so suddenly extinguished, they were left feeling oddly numb and at a total loss as to what would be an appropriate reaction to such a revelation.

They didn’t get a chance to answer though, because apparently the hero wasn’t quite finished yet.

“You know what?” Their nemesis rounded on them, practically seething. This time the colour in the hero’s cheeks wasn’t that gorgeous rosy blush. “No. Fuck you! I don’t owe you an explanation or an apology. It’s not my fault I can’t understand half of what you’re saying.”

With that, the hero rushed off, shoving them aside roughly even though there would have been plenty of space to walk past without touching. It didn’t exactly hurt, but the push did jerk them back to reality.

Absent-mindedly, they rubbed their shoulder, slowly nodding to themself. A smile began to curl their lips.

Their hero didn’t dislike them after all. Well, at least not on a personal level.

Thankfully, this also had absolutely nothing to do with Other Villain.

The entire thing was merely a communication problem. One that could easily be solved.

All they needed was a new mask.

———

For my other stories, visit my [MASTERLIST] ♥

[addictedtostorytelling]

Hi aj! I’m the rewatch anon and I just got started on the miniature case (my first time actually rewatching those as I only rewatched dead/living doll) and I just love how both Grissom and Sara are the leads on the first case, def foreshadowing. ANYWAY despite the angst that I know it’s coming with the sabbatical, I just love how lovey dovey and cute they are with each other for the first few eps. Do you suppose at this point they’re more sure of what their relationship is? I mean S6 felt slightly off balance for them at times but S7 just gives us a sense that they’re very happy together and sure of their relationship. What do you think?

hi, rewatch anon!

good to hear from you again!

so my answer to your question is kind of a roundabout one.

i'll start by saying: mine is an unpopular opinion, but i don't actually think s6 is as volatile a period in grissom and sara's relationship as many other fans do.

while a lot of folks suppose grissom and sara spend much of s6 fighting, only to get their shit figured out come s7, i'm not convinced that there is any legitimate/protracted conflict happening between them early on.

i have a couple of longer posts explaining my stance—and specifically my takes on the two episodes most fans would point to as being potential evidence that all is not right in gsrland during that time (i.e., episodes 06x03 "bite me" and 06x12 "daddy's little girl")—here and here, if you're interested.

but the tl;dr version is that i think that from the moment grissom and sara first get together in late s5 or early s6, they both realize the significance of what they're doing for themselves.

the risk that becoming a couple poses—not just to their careers but to their very hearts—is high enough that neither one of them undertakes the decision at all lightly; both of them know, from the get-go, that they are making a life-changing move and, moreover, consider their romance to be a "for life" kind of thing.

as i've talked about here, i believe they both are aware very early on that they want to marry each other.

that said, i also think that early on they both are somewhat worried that the other person may not be as "all in" as they are themselves, and that uncertainty is a source of insecurity for them, especially on sara's side of things.

consequently, i imagine that in the immediate aftermath of them getting together, there is some tentativeness on both sides—a kind of nervousness about trying on new labels and suggesting further changes to their situation (such as possibly moving in together), with both of them trying to hold back so as not to "come on too strong too fast" and freak the other person out.

some of this anxiety, of course, is internal: they both have fairly poor self-esteems and doubt their own lovability in the long term.

however, some is also part and parcel of their situation: the fact that their relationship is and must remain a secret from everyone who matters to them complicates what they're doing together and (especially for sara) raises questions about what to expect in their future.

how can they ever take things to "the next level" if they constantly have to hide the very fact that they're together?

to my mind, that's the only real source of disequilibrium for them during s6—not any actual tension or fighting, but just a kind of diffident, unspoken wondering of "does s/he feel as strongly as i do? is s/he in this for life like i am?"

otherwise, their early relationship is very happy and that they both generally feel very safe and secure with each other.

from that perspective, my take is that what changes for them between s6 and s7 isn't anything having to do with them figuring out their feelings for each other; as stated, to my mind, they've both known, from the beginning, that theirs was a "till death do us part" kind of bond.

in fact, i would go as far as to say: i don't think they would have ever even gotten together had they not both individually felt that level of commitment from the beginning. it was a "this risk is only worth it because you are my one true love and i want to be with you forever" sort of deal.

rather, the shift has more to do with them becoming more confident in the other person's feelings and comfortable in their particular circumstances, navigating their secret romance.

while there are still some question marks, especially for sara, with regards to the whole "does the other person really want to be with me forever?" deal, by and large, the longer grissom and sara are together, the more secure they become in their bond.

grissom starts to get it through his head that despite what he had always feared prior to them getting together, sara isn't going to up and leave him the second he shows any signs of weakness. he learns to trust in her devotion and constancy.

likewise, sara comes to understand that (unlike everyone else she's ever known) grissom isn't about to bounce the second her jagged edges come out. he knows her past, he is cognizant of her issues, and he still loves her all the same. she doesn't have to worry about being too much for him to handle.

though for as long as their relationship must remain a secret to everyone else in the wider world, there is still some uncertainty, particularly on sara's end of things, regarding what their endgame might be, by s7, they've gotten over that initial "if i show too much of my heart, the other person is going to leave me" hang-ups.

—and especially because, by this point, they've really carved out a life together that works for them.

early on, when they first begin seeing each other in vegas, the precarity of their situation definitely contributes to their trepidations regarding the long-term viability of their relationship.

"secret dating"—and hiding their relationship from their trained observer coworkers—is hard work, and it plays into those "what if things get too hard? will s/he leave me?" fears they both have to start out with.

but, again: the longer they stay together and the more they get the hang of balancing their home and work lives, the more at ease they become. after two years of being together, they've figured out a functional system; learned how to keep their thing on the dl. they don't feel that same imminent threat of being discovered that they did in the nascent days of their relationship—not necessarily because the threat itself has actually diminished but rather because they've become so expert in avoiding detection.

by early s7, they're at a point where they feel like they can really have it all: they can maintain the same arrangements that they've always had at work, with grissom being sara's boss and both of them working together (even frequently as partners), while also, after hours, living in the same condo and having a dog and sleeping wrapped up together in the same bed. it's the best of both worlds.

they're supremely comfortable.

the only thing that at all is disquieting to them at this point is their mounting dissatisfaction with having to keep their whole relationship a secret.

however, even though that concern looms, they're not yet ready to broach the topic aloud with each other, as neither one of them wants to upset the delicate balance they've struck.

they both try (instead) to just live in the moment and not worry overmuch about the future.

—and, to my mind, they're largely successful.

like you say, early s7 is a pretty blissful time for them.

jorja fox has talked about how she literally played those episodes as if she were acting in a romcom, and her approach definitely shows.

grissom and sara both just seem happy and well, especially around each other. while eventually some professional burnout will start to sneak in on grissom's side, early on in the miniature case, at least, they are both invigorated and clearly enjoying life.

though they both secretly yearn for more—again, grissom very much has marrying sara on his mind, long before he proposes to her in s8—they're also very satisfied with what they currently have.

like sara will later say in her letter from episode 08x07 "goodbye & good luck," their life together has become a home, and they are both settled and happy.

as a fan, it's very fun to watch—especially before things become more chaotic at the end of s7.

thanks for the question! please feel welcome to send another any time.