#no one had ever really donated so i never thought to take it down oof

[bi-writes]

ah! thank you to the number of people who have bought me a coffee on ko-fi recently ha.

i made that account when i was a college student, and i was still dependent on other people to support myself.

i am now in a position post-grad where i have an incredible job and support myself perfectly well.

i will be taking down my ko-fi (so you can go spend your money somewhere better 🫶🏼), and i will be donating the money + some to a cause that needs it more than i do now.

if you’d like to do something nice for me, i will be taking payment in asks in my inbox, comments on my posts, and reblogs. 🤭

[ladykailitha]

Paper Hearts Part 2

I'm loving the response for this. Thank you so much!!!

In this we have a couple of cameos, Steve gets into some trouble and Eddie comes to his rescue.

Pt 1

****

Steve checked with the nurse on Monday, more as a precaution then because his hand was feeling worse. Because Eddie was right. If he didn’t take care of himself no else would.

She signed off on the hand and said that it was doing better, but to still take it easy for a couple more days.

He tried to focus in class, but he was buzzing out of his skin with barely contained excitement.

Finally it was time for lunch and he ducked into library. He pulled out the year book and began jotting down a few names. He decided to stick to just seniors as that would prevent people thinking he was being a creep and of course the add bonus of avoiding a certain Junior’s ire.

Once he got about twenty names compiled he took the list up to the girls manning the paper hearts booth.

“Hey,” he greeted warmly.

“How can I help you?” the blonde haired girl asked.

“These can be anonymous right?” Steve asked chewing on his bottom lip.

The other girl, a cute bubbly red-head in a cheerleader’s uniform smiled up at him. “Sure! Is there a certain lady you would like to buy a red heart for?”

He shook his head. “Um...no. Can I get twenty pink hearts please?”

The two girls shared a shocked glance.

“How many?” the blonde asked.

“Twenty.” Steve pulled out his wallet and handed them two ten dollar bills.

The stunned blonde took the money as the red-head counted out the twenty pink hearts.

“There you go!” she said cheerfully. “Thank you for your donation!”

“I just have one question,” Steve asked. “Why are a couple of juniors manning the booth for senior prom?”

The girls’ jaws dropped in surprise that he recognized them as juniors.

The blonde managed to overcome her shock first. “They were asking for volunteers. We get extra credit.”

Steve nodded. “Thanks, ladies!”

He turned around and nearly collided with Munson.

“Oof!” he cried. “Sorry!”

Munson eyed him warily. “Why so many pink hearts, Harrington?” He crossed his arms and licked his bottom lip slowly.

Steve looked back at the two girls and then back at him. “I don’t have a girlfriend this year and but still have all this money, so I thought that instead of blowing it on junk food and soda to be all sad that night, I do something nice with the money.”

Eddie cocked his head to the side and considered him a moment. “And what would that be?”

Steve blushed and looked down at the paper hearts in his hands. He mumbled something Eddie couldn’t quite catch.

“Say that again?”

“I said I was going to write something nice for the girls not likely to get one,” he hissed, this time loud enough for the other boy to hear, but no one else.

Eddie blinked at him a moment. “Oh. That’s actually really sweet of you.”

Steve’s blush deepened and promptly turned on his heel and dashed away.

The red-head asked, “What was all that about?”

Eddie looked over at Chrissy Cunningham, the girl he had no doubt would be queen of Hawkins high next year with her perfect boyfriend, her bubbly personality, and cheerful nature.

He debated telling her what Steve’s plan was, but he didn’t want to ruin it for the guy.

“I honestly don’t know.”

Which to be fair was true. He didn’t know what that was about. How former king of Hawkins could be so sweet? Because hooboy did that throw a wrench in Eddie’s plans to never ever give into his crush on the guy. If Steve wasn’t the bitchy, annoying jock anymore than that last bastion of defense was going to fall and he would be like every other girl with a pair of eyes at this school.

In love with Steve Harrington.

He opened his wallet and counted how much money he had. He rationed gas and other expenses before he nodded to himself.

He walked over to the booth and asked for a single red heart.

“Ooh...” the blonde girl cooed. “Who’s the lucky lady?”

Eddie noticed her for the first as he handed her the money. It was Robin Buckley from band. Eddie had tried it out for a semester hoping to get enough credits to graduate last year. It didn’t work. But he recognized a fellow queer when he saw one.

“Maybe I’m sending it to myself?” he teased.

Chrissy giggled into her hand. “That’s what I would do if I didn’t have a boyfriend.”

Robin blushed a dark pink.

“You’d never have to worry about that,” Eddie said.

She handed him the heart and he thanked her before heading on his way.

****

Steve suddenly felt self-conscious after telling Munson what he was going to to. But he resolved to go through with his plan.

That night he painstakingly wrote each girl’s name and something nice he remembered about them. Once he was finished he used a paper clip to keep them together and put it between the pages of his English workbook for safety.

He finished his homework. Or at least he tried to. After about an hour, the words on the pages started to blur.

It didn’t help that it was chemistry and that just made his head spin. He would have called Dustin, but the kid would have just done it for him after five minutes of trying to explain it to him.

He decided it was time for a break.

Steve stood up and stretched. Below him he could hear the hum of the TV in his father’s den and the prattling of his mother on the phone. He wasn’t sure how they managed it in a house as big as theirs but they always made sure Steve was aware they were home.

He always thought it was a weird control thing they had. They were always gone on trips but when they were home they made sure he knew it.

He changed into a pair of sweats, grabbed a jacket and pulled on his Nikes, having decided that a run would be the perfect thing to wake him up so that he could finish his homework. He stood by the front doors and stretched out his legs, making sure they were warmed up enough.

Steve was finishing the last of his stretches when his mother came out the kitchen.

“And where do you think you’re going, young man?” she hissed.

He looked at her in confusion. He had one leg bent all the way back so that his foot was nearly touching his ass. He was managing his balance by using his free hand to touch the door frame.

“Going for a run?” he said, making the statement more of a question.

“At this time of night?” Mrs. Harrington said sharply.

Steve looked at his watch and then back up at her, again in confusion. It was only a little after five o’clock in the evening.

“I wanted to get it before it too dark to,” he explained.

She looked at her watch and then huffed, storming back into the kitchen.

That was the problem with his mother. You could never tell when she was just going to let it go or fly off the handle.

Steve let out a shuddering breath and then opened the door. He closed it behind him and sighed.

He should have told her he was going for a run, but even with them making noise, he had forgotten that he was supposed to tell them where he was going. Having gotten too used to them not being home.

He let out a shiver as he shook his arms to warm them up. If he had been doing anything other than running he would have worn a warmer coat, but while he was cold now, he sure as hell wasn’t going to be in five minutes.

Steve took off running. Just sprinting down the street to get away from his parents, his responsibilities, his troubles, and his cares. He got to the end of the street and slowed his sprint into a marathon. Going for endurance over speed.

He wasn’t sure how long he ran only that when he stopped for breath he was standing in front of a large sign that read: Forest Hills Trailer Park. He squinted up at it like he was seeing things.

Despite what the haves in Loch Nora thought, the trailer park was a lot closer than they wanted it to be. It was literally on the other side of the forest behind his house. But as he hadn’t taken off through the forest, he was a little surprised to be standing there, hands on his hips and panting for breath.

If he was going to mindlessly go somewhere he thought for sure he would have ended up at the Hendersons.

But, nope.

Steve ran his fingers through his hair. How was he supposed to get home now? He squinted down at his watch trying to make out the time, but full dark had taken a hold on this god forsaken town and he couldn’t make out shit.

He wasn’t even sure he could find the entrance to the forest that would lead him back home. Not that he wanted to go through that part of the woods this late at night. The Department of Energy’s assurances be damned.

“Fuck!”

He heard the vehicle before he saw the headlights. He stepped out of the way and hoped that whoever it was would be willing to give him a lift home.

“Fuck!” he cursed again.

Because it was Munson. Of course it was. This day was really out to get him.

“Harrington!” Munson called out, slowing to stop next to him. “What the hell are you doing here?”

Steve buried his head in his hands. He had to take a chance with Munson because he didn’t know if there would even be someone else coming in anytime in the near future.

“Would you believe me if I told you I got lost?” he asked, hands back on his hips.

Munson laughed and threw open his passenger side door. “Get in, dumbass. I have to stop at my place to let my uncle know I’m taking you home.”

Steve nodded and walked in front of the van. Mainly because that’s where the lights where, but also because he didn’t want Munson to drive off without him. If he tried that, he’d have to run Steve over. Which at this point would have been an improvement.

He hopped into the van and closed the door. “Thanks. I’m serious about the getting lost thing though.” He buckled in.

Munson gunned it and then gave him the side eye. “Yeah, how does that work for a Hawkins native?”

“Because I’m not?” Steve said. “I moved here when I was eight. I’m no more a native than you are, man.”

Munson slammed on the breaks, Steve’s hand shooting out in front of him. “Wait, you’re really not a Hawkins native?”

He shook his head. “I swear it.”

Munson started going down the road again. “So you managed to get lost?”

“Yeah, I sometimes run to get out of my head,” he explained. “I somehow I ended up here.” He looked at the road out in front of him. “My parents are probably going to kick my ass when I get home. I left before dinner and there is no way it’s not way passed that now.”

Munson pressed a button on his watch and it lit up. “Yeah, man. It’s almost seven.”

Suddenly every muscle in Steve’s body started screaming in protest.

“Shit,” he muttered and he buried his head in his hands. “I’ve been running for about two hours.”

Munson slammed on his breaks again. “The fuck, Harrington!”

“I know!” Steve cried. “I barely warmed up and I didn’t have any water with me. But I didn’t mean to run that long. I thought I was just going to go around the block a couple of times and then go in for dinner.”

“We’re getting you water and food before I send you home, man,” Munson mutter. “And I don’t want to hear a god damn complaint from you. Do you understand? Even I’m not stupid enough to go for two hours without stopping for breaks and drinking water.”

Steve just nodded. He had already gotten yelled at by Munson about not taking care of himself, he wasn’t about to endure another lecture.

****

Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

Tag List:

1- @mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @emly03

2- @spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie

3- @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @chaoticlovingdreamer @maya-custodios-dionach @danili666

4- @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @i-must-potato @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog

5- @justforthedead89 @vecnuthy @irregular-child @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690

6- @anne-bennett-cosplayer @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten @genderless-spoon

7- @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @dragonmama76 @scheodingers-muppet @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt

8- @useless-nb-bisexual @disrespectedgoatman @counting-dollars-counting-stars @tinyplanet95 @swimmingbirdrunningrock

9- @croatoan-like-its-hot @lolawonsstuff @moonshadows-13

[chai-ssi-latte]

Reading Thirst Tweets

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Reader

Warning: LANGUAGE.

About: Sebastian read thirst tweets before with Anthony Mackie and you think it was not as bad as you thought it would be. You expected all the tweets sent your way would be vanilla but no. Even Sebastian who thoroughly hates Twitter seems to enjoy listening to the tweets your fans sent you and he couldn’t help but to agree with most of them too.

Masterlist | Prompt List | Masterlist (Taylor Swift Songfics)

Send a tip here :) | Donations/Tips are not required but is very much appreciated :> It will help me support myself in uni and my studies :)

Gif not mine :)

“And... we’re rolling!”

“You’ve done this before, right?” You asked Sebastian. His face scrunched up, and he forced a smile nodding his head. “I’m guessing you didn’t like it.” 

The people behind the camera laughed along with you while Sebastian maintained the sour look on his face. The jar containing the tweets was placed on your lap, spinning just a little while you played with it. 

“Okay, I’m gonna go first.” You put your hands inside the jar, spinning the papers and feeling it before choosing your first one. There were a lot of them, that’s what you noticed. Your head tilted to the side, finally pulling out one before giving Sebastian the jar. 

“Are these crazy tweets or what? I’m scared. I feel like I can’t read it.” You haven’t even unrolled the paper yet. You do feel scared yet excited at the same time. You will never admit it, but you’ve seen some of your fans’ tweets, and they tend to be scandalous if you put them in your own words. 

“I’d pay a million just to have Y/N Y/LN sit on my lap for a minute.”

“That’s cute.” Sebastian commented, “It’s not bad.”

“A million, huh? Alright, let’s do it. Send me your address!” You and Sebastian burst into fits of giggles, your hands sitting on his legs for a moment and pushing him lightly. “That’s bigger than our day paycheck combined. Come on.” You said. Once the first laugh dies down, it’s time for Sebastian to pick a tweet.

“I can’t wait to hear yours.” You mumbled inaudibly.

“If Sebastian Stan is the reason why you have high standards in men, say I.”

Sebastian shook his head as he read the tweet. You smiled at how bemused he looked. “So people would like, reply and say I to this?” he asked.

“I would say I to that.” You said. “That’s not bad too. It’s actually sweet.”

“Wait until you meet me in person.” Sebastian looked straight to the camera. You could tell that he was only acting seriously when you saw the corner of his lips quirk a bit.

“Oh god...” You muttered as you read what was on the paper. 

“It has started,” Sebastian stated. He almost laughed at your reaction as you read the tweet in your mind. He noticed the redness creeping up from your neck to your face.

“I had to take cold showers three times in a day every time I remember Y/N in the cover of Lui Magazine.”

You remembered it briefly. Working with that magazine was the worst yet the best decision you’ve ever made. It was bad because you were half-naked all the time during those photoshoots, using your own skin to cover up parts you didn’t want to show on camera. It was good because it led you to many opportunities in life, getting you where you are now.

“What’s that?” Sebastian asked. 

“I did a photoshoot with Lui before. It was...fun.” You answered while nodding your head. Sebastian didn’t seem to buy your answer, though. 

“You sounded so unsure.”

“Yeah, well, it’s an adult magazine, so...oof.” 

“Oh...” was the only thing Sebastian could reply.

The both of you read more thirst tweets and laugh your butts off. The tweets went from zero to a hundred quickly once the fan’s words started getting really dirty. The tweets for Sebastian went from them wanting to take him home to them wanting to be pushed against the wall while Sebastian f**ks them. 

And yours were similar to that. Your fans went from taking you on a date ending up in a make-out session to non-stop sex in all parts of your house. 

You and Sebastian had just gone from laughing so hard when a fan descriptively described his member down there.

“Oh god. I’ll never have twitter. Ever.” 

You were too busy wiping the tears that escaped from your eyes that Sebastian’s words just flew over your head. “That’s so hilarious. How did they even know that?”

“I don’t even wanna know. It’s crazy.”

“You did show your body on The Bronze, remember?” You teased. 

“Yeah, but not the front!” Sebastian objected.

“Okay, moving on.”

“Y/N is so sexy I would grip that waist so tight until I leave my mark on it. Her bum so good I’d squeeze it until it turns red.”

“That’s graphic,” Sebastian commented. “You are sexy, though. I’d agree to that. And the bum comment too is, in fact, correct.”

You playfully glared at Sebastian, then rolled your eyes. At least this tweet isn’t as rated R as Seb’s previous tweet. “That’s sweet, I guess? It’s nice knowing my workouts paying off.”

Sebastian seemed to agree on every tweet sent on your way lately, and you couldn’t help the butterflies in your stomach. Earlier, there was a tweet about how beautiful your eyes are. Sebastian concurs, saying he could stare at your eyes all day. You almost shove him out of his seat because you felt so embarrassed when he said that, and the both of you ended up laughing it off.

After a couple more tweets, you have finally reached the last paper on the jar, and it was for the both of you.

“If this is about a threesome, I’m leaving this place. I’m gonna walk out.” Sebastian spoke as you picked out the paper from the jar.

“Has anyone seen Sebastian and Y/N make-out clip? I was so turned on I wanna join them kissing. JUST kissing.”

“Ugh!” Sebastian expressed. You’re pretty sure that they were talking about the kissing scene you had with Sebastian from a film you both worked on together. It was a heavy make-out scene while you were straddling his lap. 

“Guess our acting was great.”

Sebastian’s face showed disapproval, unimpressed with the tweet. You chuckled, throwing the paper behind your back.

“My friend actually told me the same thing. She was like, I don’t know if I wanna make out with Sebastian or I wanna make out with you.” You shared, remembering the night you and your friend watched the movie, and she was so shook that you managed to film a scene like that.

“Well, everyone,” Sebastian talks to the camera, “She’s an amazing kisser. But you all didn’t have to experience it just to know that.” He got up from his seat and grabbed the camera lens, “Bye.” then he laughed.

 Sebastian walked out of the door laughing and waving goodbye to the staff. The camera that was once focused on both of you followed Sebastian’s retreating figure. 

Once the door closes, the camera’s focus returns to yours. You were still sitting comfortably there. You shrugged your shoulders and pursed your lips, “He did say he’s gonna walk out, didn’t he?” 

“And cut!” 

You got up from your seat, and the whole room roared in laughter. 

“That was fun and amazing.” The producer said, giving you a hug and congratulating you on today’s work.

“I know. Best day ever.”

[tsrookie]

For the hc asks, what do you think would happen if at some point in Ethan and MC's future, Ethan was the one in some kind of serious accident/illness? There's lots of fics where something happens to MC, and obviously we have canon with the attack, but I'm curious about your thoughts on the opposite happening

Oof. Thanks for the ask anon! (This just turned into something completely different from what I had initially planned, so it’s a bit lengthy)

——————————

MC’s halfway through her third year. It’s an absolute pain with Leland around. He prioritises finding a cure for Caroline over everything else, so the diagnostics team is unable to give their fullest to the patients who actually need them. He keeps adding more facilities to the hospital, so the construction work seems never ending at this point.

She arrives at the hospital for her night shift, when she hears a loud explosion. She looks up in horror and sees a room on the sixth floor in flames.

Dread settles into the pit of her stomach as she rushes into the hospital, barging past security. Ethan had texted her just a few minutes ago, asking her to meet him on that very same floor.

Ethan feels a sharp pain in his forehead, and realises that he’s bleeding. He keeps little Jess close to him as she cries in fear. The poor kid was searching for her parents, and he had offered to help. They had reached the gas cylinder room, when Ethan saw the sparks.

The newly connected wires had broken, and the sparks were flying dangerously close to the gas canisters. He rushed into a nearby room and slammed the door shut, with a terrified Jess in his arms.

The loud explosion sent him hurtling to the the opposite side of the room. Jess clinged on to him for dear life, her fearful cries muffled by the roaring fire.

He takes a moment to recover from the initial shock, then his doctor instincts kick in. He lays Jess down and asks her to tell him if she feels any pain. She cries out loud when he checks her leg. She’s bleeding profusely due to a deep gash, and there was only so much pain she could take.

He takes off his coat and ties it around her leg to control the bleeding. She frightfully asks him if they were going to be safe. He takes a deep breath to try and nullify his own pain. MC’s image flashes through his mind, and the throbbing ache takes a backseat. He nods determinedly to Jess, internally vowing to get back to MC, no matter what it took.

He scans his surroundings. He sees the fire slowly spreading to the rest of the floor, and the walls threatening to crack and fall.

He manages to locate a door amongst the smoke across the corridor. He picks Jess up and tells a silent prayer for them to safely get out of there.

He narrowly misses a huge canister by seconds. He tries to calm himself down for Jess’ sake, but finds it incredibly hard to do given the hazardous environment. He feels his vision grow blurry as the smoke threatens to overwhelm him, but snaps out of it when Jess lets out another cry.

He finally reaches the door, and almost falls to his knees gasping for air. He staggers down the stairs, just as another explosion reaches his ears.

He hears loud shouts from the opposite side of the corridor. He can barely register whose voice it was before he finally collapses. The last thing he sees is a flash of auburn.

MC yells orders to everyone nearby, terrified at the sight of Ethan’s unconscious form. She drops to her knees and checks his pulse, all while trying to get him to wake up.

The nurses carry a passed out Jess to a nearby patient room, as more doctors arrive to place Ethan on a stretcher. Zaid holds MC back from going with them, despite her desperate cries.

Miraculously, he hasn’t suffered any major injuries. Just a few minor burns and cuts on his arms and legs. He passed out mainly due to smoke inhalation, due to which he was to be placed on the ventilator for a while. MC heaves out a sigh of relief when she’s informed that Ethan would make a full recovery in a week or two.

Jess is alright as well. Three more people suffered injuries due to the accident, but none fatal.

Ethan wakes up to MC holding his hand and stroking his hair. She doesn’t have to say a word for him to understand how he scared the living daylights out of her. Her eyes are red and puffy from crying and lack of sleep.

She gives him a tired smile, filled with relief and love. He gives her hand a weak squeeze, and she presses a soft kiss to it.

She gets into the bed, careful not to touch any of his wounds. Kissing his forehead, she settles in for a much required nap, with his hands intertwined with hers.

Once he’s able to talk, he spends an entire hour with MC before seeing anyone else. He asks her about Jess, and is relieved to know that she’s recovering well.

He apologises to MC for putting her through the pain and fear he had once experienced. She silences him with a kiss, and tells him that none of it was his fault. She assures him that the only thing that mattered to her was that he had saved a little girl’s life, and gotten himself out of there.

When Ethan is asked whether he’ll be able to speak at a board meeting regarding the incident, he asks for MC to speak on his behalf. She protests, saying that she’s a mere third-year resident, but relents when Ethan tells her she’s the only one he trusts enough to have his best interests by heart.

At the meeting, Leland doesn’t own up to his mistakes, and constantly keeps emphasising on the fact that mistakes and accidents take place. He offers to compensate for the losses with more money.

When the board tells him that this isn’t something he can easily fix with a mount load of cash, and point out the various smaller mishaps that have taken place since his acquisition of Edenbrook, he shrugs it off and tells them that Edenbrook has had plenty of accidents in the past, and no further measures were taken after the attack the previous year. Something inside MC snaps at that moment.

“No. No, you don’t get to talk about what happened last year. You weren’t there when this hospital lost two of their finest members. You weren’t there to see how everyone suffered from their deaths. You don’t know how much Danny and Bobby meant to everyone in this room. Travis Perry, the one who set the gas free, died before any further action could be taken. You don’t know the fear of every single doctor who worked to find the cure. You don’t know about how much I personally went through watching two of my friends die, and one of them nearly. You don’t know the physical and mental toil it took on the victims. You. Have. No idea. About any of that. What happened last year wasn’t just an accident due to negligence on the hospital’s part, it was a textbook definition of an assassination attack. So yeah, you don’t get to compare what happened last year to you turning a blind eye to the problems of the hospital, because of the extra renovations you made. If someone had died in this...”

Her eyes burn with a fire no one had ever witnessed before. She takes a deep breath, trying not to think of what could’ve happened to Ethan, before continuing at a shell-shocked Leland, who looks like a deer caught in headlights.

“If someone had died in this fire, it would’ve been entirely on your shoulders, for failing to properly supervise the constructions. This isn’t the way things are supposed to work at a hospital, Leland. You want the hospital to become a premier research center, but did you honestly think about that when the hospital was sinking? Did you attend that charity gala last year, which was our last chance of saving the hospital? Did you find the need to donate money when we needed the most? You want a cure for Caroline, and that’s understandable. But you can’t keep making changes around here, and then fail to oversee the transitions properly. So please, stop trying to say that what just happened, wasn’t your fault.”

She finally sits down, with every single person in the room in complete awe. Naveen glances at her direction with a glimmer of pride. She isn’t an intern who used to have trouble navigating the corridors anymore. She’s a doctor who knows her place in the hospital, a member of the most prestigious diagnostics team in the country, and she knew damn well what was right and what was wrong.

MC knows that she could possibly lose her job due to her outburst, yet the looks on the faces of the board members tell her otherwise. The rest of the meeting passes with Leland finally admitting to his negligence over the more minor details, which have cause issues since he came to the hospital. They agree to have a few more meetings to discuss the measures to be taken to fix the damages of the accident, and Leland’s administration.

Naveen walks up to her after the meeting, and tells her that she technically wouldn’t be in any trouble, since she was speaking on Ethan’s behalf, and he would’ve done the exact same thing she had done. And no one would dare speak up against Ethan Ramsey. She laughs at the truthfulness of the statement.

“But I never want to become a carbon copy of him at any point. That would be terrible.”

“Now what would be so bad about that?”

“He terrorises the interns! I never want to become that strict.”

“Well... he hasn’t been terrorising them that much recently. Probably since he knows a certain someone was an intern when he first fell for them.”

She smiles sheepishly, as they both walk towards Ethan’s room.

“I’m really glad he’s okay. I don’t know what I would’ve done if...” She trails off, not wanting to finish the sentence.

“I know, MC. Me too.”

Once she reaches Ethan’s room, her lips quirk up into a smile as she finds him trying to pass time on social media. After a quick kiss, he asks her about the meeting. She relays the entire thing, and needless to say, he’s highly impressed.

He tells her to go home after a while, but she tenderly replies that she wasn’t going anywhere. He stayed by her side when she was a patient, and she wasn’t about to leave him when the tables were turned.

Ethan sighs, and pulling MC close, he finally drifts off into a peaceful slumber.

——————————

A/N: I gave it a happy ending!😅 I know this was more of a mini-fic than a hc, but I couldn’t help myself! Hope it made sense, ‘cause I have no clue about any construction work whatsoever.

Also, thank you so much for all the requests you’ve been sending! I’ve got plenty of stuff to work on now, so thanks a lot for that💙

Taglist: @kaavyaethanramsey @caseyvalentineramsey @starrystarrytrouble @dxnicaramsey @decadentwinnerjudgedream @imonlybibecauseofethanramsey @rookiefromedenbrook @bratzlahela @eramsey28 @the-pale-goddess @ohchoices @wellhelloramsey @pitchblackstars @mvalentine @swiftlydarcy @utterlyinevitable @angela8754 @akshara16 @sushiharrington @drethanramslay @lion-ess24 @whippedforethanfreakingramsey @choicesstan1 @aarisa-frost @drariellevalentine @perriewinklenerdie @blossomanarchy @nikki-2406 @stateofgracious @takemyopenheart @open-heart-ramseyyy @maurine07 @udishaman @queencarb @ethanramseylover @rookiemarsswiftie @aworldoffandoms

Let me know if you wanna be added to or removed from the taglist!

[drethanramslay]

Rock Bottom

Pairing: Mona X MC (Alexis Jennings)

Masterlist

Word count: 1.8 K (I really tried🤧)

Warnings: None, there is swearing, also there is a crossover 👀

Author's note: I'm taking part in @rodappreciationweek and this is my entry for day 3 (mona)

The hosts of RoDaw @client-327 @brightpinkpeppercorn and @choicesarehard are donating $5 usd to the Lebanese red cross, up to $500 for every piece of Mona content today! Please consider making/posting something for Mona today if you haven't already❤️

I'm also taking part in @wackydrabbles so you will find the prompt in bold

Forgive me if I make any mistakes

"Prisoners move back to your respective cells." The loudspeaker blared, cutting sharply through the air, giving Mona a cold splash of reality.

Until that godforsaken announcement, Mona had been sitting on the steps, her eyes closed as she enjoyed the cool breeze threading through her hair. The sun rays poured over her and she enjoyed the warmth emanating from them. She could smell the ocean and with her eyes closed, she could almost imagine standing on the shores of Santa Monica, the sound of the waves washing over her.

But there is only so much imagination one can use to forget that she was in jail.

To her darn luck, she had been transferred to Trask Island, a maximum security prison off the coast of Florida. It was one of those dreary prison where you were completely cut off from the world.

No call, no letters, no communication.

Whatever fucked up environment they created here, that was her world and Mona hated every second of it.

It was also called the 'rock' because one, it was on a island and two, it would drown all your hopes and wishes of a future, just like how a rock sinks in water.

No one has ever escaped Trask Island and no one ever will. The words of the warden echoed through her head making her scoff.

It's cute that he thinks I will be sticking around in this shit hole.

Mona was super determined to get the fuck out of here even though there were moments when she was completely and utterly lost.

She hated the orange tracksuits she had to wear. She hated the way these spiteful men dictated her life and tried to break her spirit. She hated being stuck in a tiny cell.

She longed to feel the adrenaline rush in her veins when she raced.

She longed to feel her hands gripping her steering wheel, as she drove at speeds defying gravity.

But most of all she longed for Alexis... The girl she left behind.

Mona found it ironic. After her ex ratted her to the police she swore that she would never let anyone have that power over her. That she would never wear her heart on her sleeve again. She built this impenetrable fortress around herself so that no one could enter and know the real her.

But Alexis managed to do that by just smiling at her.

The way their hands fit perfectly into each other's... The way that all her worries would go away when Alex was in her arms... The way that they both pushed each other, looked out for each other and challenged each other...

Mona had never witnessed such a feeling of companionship and she couldn't help but fall for her.

I love you Mona... Those words haunted her but at the same time motivated her to keep going through the motions of the day.

Her fantasies were abruptly interrupted by the guard kicking her combat boots. "Up and going, or do you want a month in solitary?"

And the thing she hated the most about this prison are the guards. I mean it was normal to hate them but this was some next level shit. She absolutely abhorred them to such a extent that she wanted to strangle them with her bare hands.

The number of times she was thrown into solitary was not even funny. And all of them were for the dumbest of the dumbest reasons.

Hell she was thrown in the hole for a fight she wasn't even part of.

All men are the same... Power hungry and drunk on greed. That's why girls are better.

So not wanting to risk living in the darkness for a month, she bit her tongue and got up before joining the other cellmates.

"What a dick." Eris Huang, an expert demolition muttered under her breath, so low that only Mona could hear it, causing her to snort.

In the six months she was here, she was low-key glad that she met Eris. They two met when Mona was moved into Eris' cell. Both were strong willed, hard headed and sarcastic woman so it wasn't really surprising that they became fast friends.

"Tell me about it. One of these days he is gonna piss me off so bad that I will end up castrating him with a blunt knife."

"Oof. I will hold him down and break his legs." Eris offered causing Mona to smirk. I like this girl. 

"Anyways, I have a shift at the library so meet you later." Eris spoke.

"Get me another notebook if possible."

"What are you writing? A love letter?" Eris teased which made Mona roll her eyes but she wasn't very far off from the truth.

"A lady never tells." Mona answered causing Eris to chuckle as she took a left to go to the basement.

Mona reached her cell and she felt the the cell gate close behind her with a loud clang, which resonated in her ribcage.

Sure, hanging out in the yard and working in the workshop was a welcome distraction but staying in her small cell for more than 17 hours would make a girl lonely.

So, in all these hours of loneliness, sadness and hopelessness Mona found some sort of solace in writing about her dreams, list of things she was going to do once she was out, her aspirations... But most importantly, how much she missed Alex and how she wished to be by her side.

So settling into the corner of her bunk, she opened the notebook with tattered pages so that she could write.

Dear Alex, I know I told you to not let me imprison you but that's not applicable to me because you are always on my mind. It's hard to forget you. I miss you so much....

Do you know what day it is today? It's the fifth... Or I assume so because there is no calendar here. We aren't told what date, month, year it is. It's just days which sinks into the lonely nights and the cycle continues.

It's been six months since I last saw you... And I guess it just hit me hard.

It's just cruel how little time we had together.

I still remember that night. How happy we were in that cute little prom of yours. I still remember how heartbroken you were when I betrayed you.

But you didn't let it break you.

I still remember the way you took down those bastards. I still remember how fucking proud I felt on that moment. I still remember how I took a bullet for you and the shock that coloured your face.

And I know the thoughts which ran at your head in that moment. "Someone actually cares enough for me to take a bullet for me."

I'm here to tell you that yes, I took a bullet for you and I would do it a thousand times over just to prove that I love you and I care about you. I'm here to tell you that you are worth it and you deserve all the love in the world.

I wish I could hold you in my arms and tell you all of this but... Life loves fucking with me and you got caught as collateral.

It's just... Hard some days. Sure I have made friends with some other criminals and tried to make this fuckery my new normal but I'm only human. I'm few moments away from sinking to rock bottom, as shocking as that may sound.

You always perceived me as an aloof, careless and a strong badass but that changed when I met you.

Sure I was always strong but you make me stronger. You and me... We both are like two knives sharpening each other. Pushing each other to reach new heights of awesomeness.

But, I also want to worry for you. I want to appreciate you. I want to wake up next to you and I want to love you.

I often wish how we would have met if I had not gone down the wrong path. Would we have met at some pub? Or in some Ivy League college? Or some frat party?

People often say that you shouldn't waste time thinking about the things that could have been but when you are in a prison with nothing but time, that's all you seem to do.

So yeah, you are the only thing preventing me from going insane.

I think that's enough emotional bullshit for today and I'm low-key relieved that you aren't reading these letters, of me talking like a sap.

But one thing is for sure- I love you.

Yours, Mona.

She heard the electric buzzer and the door of her cell opened. Eris walked in with an impassive face with a guard standing at the entrance. He shut the cell gate and walked away.

Mona's eyes narrowed as she sat up straight. Wait a minute-

She waited for the guard to be far away before she spoke up. "You have a plan."

Eris turned the light off of the cell and plopped on to the bed opposite Mona's.

"Smartie. Always knew I did a good job of recruiting you."

"But how? Do you remember the last time you failed and ended up in the hole for a month and a half?!"

"Yes I do remember but this is foolproof. We have outside help."

"... I'm listening."

"Do you speak thief?" She asked which made Mona scoff in disbelief.

"Obviously. I have stolen cars and kidnapped people. Obviously I'm no amateur."

Eris proceeded to explain how her friends Rye and some other chick had come up with a plan. She listened with complete attention and only stopped her to ask valid questions.

"So... Are you in?"

Mona tried weighing the pros and cons. It's sounded a tad bit unrealistic and far fetched. There were a couple of loose ends which made her hesitate.

Eris noticed that and grasped her hand. "See Mona, no escape plan is perfect. This is a rough draft and we will work out the kinks. But remember, the three crucial things an escape plan needs is- Luck, faith and determination. We don't know about what lady luck has in store but, we sure can have faith and determination."

"I know that you hate it here and I know the punishment of escaping is harsh but what's wrong in trying? We are already suffering as it is, what's a little more? And I see that fire in your eyes, M."

"The fire to break free and the fire to go back to your girl."

Mona looked up and the momentary joy of getting to see Alexis soon. Adrenaline courses through her veins, causing her heart to beat faster.

Eris leaned forward, her voice intense. "So tell me- Would you like to blow this joint or rot in here for the next five years wishing you could have atleast tried?"

Mona's eyes met hers and a smirk formed in her face. Reaching forward she shook Eris's hands, sealing the deal.  "What the hell. This is without doubt the stupidest plan you've ever had. Of course I'm in."

Don't worry Alexis, I'm coming home.

Hope you liked it 😊

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[irwinkitten]

broken like me | l.h

notes: day five of the birthday fic week!! today is the lovely lu and the prompts are from @converse-luke!!  prompts: “I’ll keep you warm.” | “Why me?”  warnings: none, smidge of angst word count: 1.5k 

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-

You’d tried your hardest to let him go, to let go of your love for him. But it was abundantly clear that for the both of you, that would never work.

Although you were fiercely independent, the thought of not having Luke in your life gave you a sadness that really twisted your heart and pulled you down from whatever good feeling you were in at the time. 

The first time you felt like that, it had alarmed you. But then you realised that it was more just being around him, hearing the dumb jokes he’d make if it got too quiet. It was the feeling of being noticed in a room full of people that spoke over you. Luke gave you his full attention  and it had always been like that.

When he was on tour, unless he had work obligations, he was always able to shoot you a quick text. Some days you struggled with replying so he took it on him to send small things like memes he knew would make you smile.

And the time away from him did you some good. You found ways to enjoy life without relying on that small bit of happiness. And he understood that entirely.

And soon your friendship was easy sailing, with him on the road most of the months out of the year. But then he started falling. He was with the wrong friends, he ignored you for days. There had been a brutal arguement when he’d told you to fuck off, stating you weren’t his girlfriend or his minder.

Ashton had held you when you finally cried about that a week later, feeling your heart tear itself up. 

Luke had never realised how much he’d hurt you with his words but you stepped back from him then. You sent him one word responses and stopped answering him when he called you at four in the morning.

But then it changed.

The ringtone had woken you up, and glancing at the time, the numbers read two in the morning. You scowled as you noted the I.D and the last bit of patience you had, snapped.

“What do you fucking want? It’s two in the goddamn morning Lu.” You snapped into your phone, feeling tired mind and body protesting being woken up.

“Don’t know where I am. Need you and everyone left me.” His words were slurred and you could hear the slight hitch in his voice. Putting your phone onto speaker, you switched to the Find My Friends app, feeling relieved that he’d never stopped sharing that with you.

“I know where you are, Lu. Want me to call Ash?” He fell silent before a sob broke through on the phone and you realised it was bad.

“I’m on my way.” You finally got out once you were in the car. You stayed on the phone with him, keeping it hands free as he brokenly begged you not to leave him.

And part of you wondered if you could deal with this. 

But as you pulled up in the car, your headlights washing over his hunched over form, your resolve settled, knowing that you weren't going to leave him. Not when he needed someone to love him.

“Luke?” His head shot up and his eyes were bloodshot and tired, tear tracks running down his cheeks. His hair was dishevelled and his face looked gaunt.

You felt your heart break.

“C’mon, let's get you back to mine.” It was easy to coax him into the car, but he was clearly tense, his body taut like a loaded spring ready to go.

Once he was in your place, his body seemed to collapse in on itself and you could do nothing but watch as the man you called your best friend at one point, break down.

“Why are you so fucking kind? Why did you bother answering that call? Why me?” It took you a further fifteen minutes to get him into your spare room, silently promising that you’d tell him when he was sober.

So when the morning came and you checked in on him, you watched how he was sprawled across the bed, his feet hanging over the edge a little as he turned at the sound of the door opening, cracking open an eye.

“I’ll get some food on for you. When you’re ready for food come down. And when you’re ready to talk I’m here to listen.” And you headed downstairs with relative ease.

It didn’t take too long for him to come down for food, and once you’d both started eating, he finally opened up.

He talked about the arguments he was getting into, the way he was feeling about the band and his life. And it hurt you to hear him so desolate and broken.

You could see the weight pulling off his shoulders as he lifted the burden and by the time he fell silent, you had tears in your eyes.

“You asked me ‘why me?’ last night.” You started off, watching as he shrunk in on himself. And you couldn’t let him do that to himself.

Moving off the stool, you stood in front of him, forcing him to look at you.

“Why you? Because you’re like a warm coat in the dead of winter for me, Luke. You’re a comfort that I’ve never known existed till I met you. You’re my best friend and even though you’ve been such an asshole to me, to the others, I still care ‘bout you because someone needs to be in your corner. You were there when I broke. I’m not only returning the favour, but I’m making sure you know that you’re loved and cared for.” 

It took him a solid minute to process your words, tears falling down his cheeks once more before his arms wrapped around you, pulling you into the tightest hug. 

His head was resting on your chest, your chin resting on the top oof his head as your fingers carded through his curls. Breakfast lay long forgotten as he accepted your small form of comfort.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” The words were repeated as he held onto you tight and you realised that he hadn’t had someone say it to him outright. He knew his best mates loved him, but to hear that someone was in his corner was another thing entirely.

“Do you want to go home, or stay with me? Might even invite Ash around for dinner.” This earned a weak laugh, his arms finally loosening from your body and you leaned back a little, giving him some room to tilt his head back.

“If you utter the words ‘I’m sorry’ once more, I’ll shave your hair off.” The threat was empty, but he silently understood, giving you a small smile instead.

“Have I ever told you that you’re amazing?” He whispered instead and you grinned, leaning up and pressing a kiss to his forehead.

“Once or twice, now let go of me you absolute giant, I’m hungry.” And as if on cue, your stomach rumbled loudly, making the two of you giggle.

Once breakfast was over, the two of you curled on the couch, and he began to tell you everything.

And it was in that moment that you knew that you were never going to give up on him, or loving him. 

And you were okay with that.

It was a few months later when you were trudging through the snow to Luke’s place, your body wrapped up to ward off the chill. There was no way you were driving on the first day of snowfall, so when you reached his, he laughed.

He looked so much better. His face had colour back in his cheeks and the haunted look he’d worn when you picked up that awful night had long since faded.

“Get in or you’ll freeze to death!” He chided you as you stepped in, greeting Petunia once your outer clothes were shed. You were still cold despite the warmth of the house, and Luke noticed you shivering so he pulled you into the living room, giving you no space to argue as he sat down and practically pulled you into his lap.

This made you laugh.

“I’ll be fine Lu!” You whined, groaning as he added in a blanket.

“Listen. You told me that I was like a warm jacket on a cold day. So be quiet. I’ll keep you warm.” And you could feel your embarrassment flood as you hid your face in the crook of his neck, his laughter at your reaction making you groan.

“I love and hate you.” 

“Love you too. We have a couple of hours before more guests, so just stay here and warm up.” He instructed. And as he added a blanket over the two of you, you couldn’t find any reasons to complain at all.

-

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[winchester-with-wings]

I Saw You First

“An Angel & Her Assassin” sequel

Patron Benefit Fanfic for @softdudebro​!

Pairing:  College AU - Bucky Barnes x Reader

Author's Notes:  People have asked for sequels to this fic and I gave it a shot. I thought I'd dedicate this to Tomorrow since they like Bucky :) hopefully this is a good continuation and elicits some college feels cuz it definitely did for me! Hope ya'll like it!

Summary/Request:   The story of the first time you and Bucky saw each other but didn't actually meet. Then a flash forward to the present. smut.

**inspired by that one video of Seb working out** gif post

Word Count: 1700ish

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---------------------------------------------------

Bucky noticed you before he ever encountered you in the laundry room or the elevator of your dorm building. It figures that it would be at the gym, likely one of the regular places he frequented. Of course, you never knew this until after that fateful night at the Halloween party when you finally, truly connected.

When you asked him to tell you the story, he was playfully vague. But you know. You were there. You’d checked him out too.

Here’s how it really happened.

-----

The summer after your freshman year, you created another reading list to focus on. One of your methods to read these had been to take a book with you to the gym. You figured getting a little exercise at the same time would only help you develop better habits.

It worked, at first. The beginning of the new semester, you went to the gym for maybe two weeks? You enjoyed the ellipticals and recumbent bikes--the things that kept your legs busy but your hands and eyes free to read. It also distracted you from feeling self-conscious about the fact that you didn’t look like the other girls that came to the gym to socialize and work on their already-perfect bodies.

With the addition of classes, going to the gym became a harder habit to keep. You could just stay in your dorm room and read all you want, right? But by now, Rachel, your roommate needed a work-out buddy. Someone to motivate her to continue to go to the gym, as well. She claimed she wanted to get in shape for all the boys she’d scoped out at the floor meeting for the dorm during the first week of the semester.

“Let’s try the classes!” she suggested, pointing at the schedule on the wall. Step Aerobics, Yoga, Zumba, etc. They sounded alright, and maybe a change to your routine would be good.

So you started with the step aerobics class. You didn’t last long. You were breathing hard, face flushed and dripping with sweat. The blood was pounding in your ears, harder than the beats of music and every step on the hardwood floor and plastic steps.

You took a break, heading to the back of the class to get your water bottle. The back of the room was floor to ceiling windows and doors that faced the main area of the gym where all other equipment was. It took you only a second to realize why you disliked this set up. Everyone in the class, mostly other female students were in a fishbowl, on display for all the guys passing by or just blatantly standing at the windows. One guy winked at you and you scowled at him, effectively directing his eyes elsewhere.

What was so sexy about a sweaty step aerobics class? You thought to yourself as you turned to look at Rachel, killing it on the routine.

Oh, the butts, getting toned by the steps...Ugh!

You left after that, picking a leg press machine instead.

“Hey! Why you’d you leave?” Rachel asked after the class was over.

“Did you not see all the guys window shopping?”

“Uh, yeah, I got a number or two,” Rachel giggled, swinging her ponytail over her shoulder. You laughed as you got off the machine, offering it to your friend. She sat down and lowered the weight, significantly.

“I don’t come here to pick up guys.”

“You could if you wanted to,” she said, exhaling on the release. You just rolled your eyes. You told yourself it was because you didn’t have time for a man but really, how could you possibly expect to attract the interest of some jock? The guy that winked at you doesn’t count. He was disqualified the moment he decided to drool over a step aerobics class rather than work out. Your standards weren’t that low, seriously…

You and Rachel tried out a few more machines in the circuit, trying your own hands at strength training. But you realized quickly that you’d left the quieter space of the cardio equipment, too close to the weight lifting benches. Young men of all sizes were pushing themselves to the brink, breathing hard, grunting, exhaling, chanting, and egging each other on.

“Come on, Sam, you can do it! Just two more!” You knew that voice. Everyone on your floor knew Steve Rogers, quarterback, certified hunk and sweetheart. Or at least that’s what you had heard.

“He can’t do it.”

“Shut up, Buck!” a football player shouted as he pushed himself.

Too much testosterone. Intense. Stressful. Intimidating. That’s not what you wanted out of going to the gym. Quite the opposite really.

As you two left the gym, you made a mental note to avoid that area again.

-

The next class you attended was Zumba and not only did you keep up with it but you enjoyed it! The music was awesome and the choreography wasn’t too difficult. You could totally see yourself doing this again. But of course, boys… not men… boys…they ruin all the fun.

If step aerobics could catch the attention of onlookers, then zumba was like blood in the water for sharks.

Then again, you did feel sexy, swaying your hips, waving your hands, rolling your body. You decided to put the spectators out of your mind, losing yourself to a Shakira song.

When you left the class, having stayed for the entire thing and deciding to return tomorrow, you felt so good, so confident, that you didn’t care about who was looking. You were just in Nike leggings and a tie-dye shirt, hair up in a messy bun, nothing special, but you felt great.

“Hey, Rach!” someone called out for your friend, inviting her back over to the weight lifting area. The guy who called out for her looked familiar, someone that was likely found hanging out with Steve Rogers.

“Hey Sam,” she greeted him. You stayed by her side, holding onto that Zumba confidence with a steely grip.

You didn’t really listen to what happened between your friend and the football player. You saw Steve a few feet away with another friend. The man was on his back, legs bent and giant dumbbell weights in each hand. Your eyes went wide as you watched him push them up and hold them there. The way his arms were bulging in that gray t-shirt, he was straining himself and you were tempted to tell him to be careful.

“Give me one more!” Steve encouraged him. His friend winced as that last push was almost too much for him.

“Ah, fuck,” he hissed, exhaling and grinding his teeth. He pushed those dumbbells into the air once more and even a second time, then put them down with a loud thud as rubber met the concrete floor.

You didn’t have the best view of his face from his position on the ground and your standing position over 6 feet away, but that sound...like a growl, and his bared white teeth against that strong jaw covered in stubble…it’s a sound that stirred something deep in your belly.

He jumped to his feet and did a few quick squats in those black basketball shorts. You averted your eyes from his perfect ass just as he turned around.

You wouldn’t mind if he’d been watching you dance.

-------

“Ah, fuck.”

It’s the same sound that he made now as you sit on top of him, his hips thrusting up. His fingers were digging into your hips and would likely leave a bruise, but you didn’t mind. You were Bucky’s and he was yours. You’d staked your claim with that hickey on his chest just the other night.

“Mmph, fuck, damn it. I love it when you move like that,” he grunted. You rolled your hips, earning another moan from his lips before you leaned forward and pressed your chest to his, kissing him. He wrapped his arms around you and pinned you to him as he sat up and rolled over. The grunts and squeaks coming from the two of you as Bucky repositioned himself on top were ridiculous.

“Quit giggling,” he half-laughed. “M’gonna pull a muscle in this bed, I swear.” Your head hit the pillow with a ‘oof’ and another giggle. “Dammit, babe, you make it hard to fuck you when you sound that cute.”

“Then don’t fuck me…” Bucky’s hips froze, his cock buried deep inside you. His sharp features softened with outright confusion and a slight insecurity. You reached up to caress the side of his face, the stubble on his cheek itching your palm. “Make love to me.” Bucky released a heavy sigh, rolled his eyes and collapsed on top of you.

“Don’t mess with me like that, Doll,” he whispered into your hair, using your new favorite pet name. His slow thrusts picked up again while he kept his face next to yours. You held onto him for dear life as the tension inside you continued to build until your arched back signaled your release. Bucky kept pumping until the lasting effects of your orgasm sent him over the edge. Rather than stopping completely, he slowed down until the only movement was a twitch of pleasure every now and then. “Oh my god,” he whispered, peppering kisses on your shoulder. “I’m taking you to dinner.”

“Why?” you laughed.

“I’m sorry, darlin, are you turning down a free meal? Is it the company? Do you just use me for my body?” Bucky climbed off of you but you reached out for him; He stumbled as he fully ejected himself from the bed.

“Nonono, that’s not what I said!” you said, as you continued to laugh. “I’m just wondering...if that’s your way of paying me for my services,” you wiggled your eyebrows, a hint at your teasing. Bucky snapped a finger and pointed at you, putting on his own mock serious face.

“Hooker, I’m taking you to dinner because I want to.” Having cleaned himself up, Bucky tugged on his basketball shorts and a t-shirt he’d left in your dorm room the other day. The boy considered your floor his own personal closet. “We’ve stayed in, ordered food and watched movies and you’ve even helped me with my papers. You deserve to go out to an actual restaurant.”

“Okay, well, we should probably shower before we go out.”

“Oh, I agree but I can’t share that shower with you. It was too dangerous the first time. Never again.”

You picked up your towel and toiletries as Bucky sat in a bean bag chair on your floor. You tapped him on the nose.

“Never say never, Buck,” you said with a wink.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tagging: @abbessolute​ @book-loving--anime-chick​ @faithtrustandpixiedust95​ @fabinapercabeth4179​ @thinkwritexpress-official​ @autoblocked​ @therealcap​ @mathle0matle​ @whoopxd​ @bookworm4ever99​ @geeksareunique​ @bucky-plums-barnes​ @pottxrwolff​ @ravenhaviland​ @melaninspice11​ @feelmyroarrrr​ @fvckingavengers​ @officialcaptain-marvel​ @sebbytrash​

[thearcana-junkie]

Love your blog ♡ may i request main 6 headcanon (or just lucio and julian if u dont feel like doing all the 6) for them reacting to a mc that really love theatre and is a very good actor?

HEY!

I know you! I’ve seen you in my notications a couple times!! (I try to remember everyone who pops up there. Please don’t think I’m being weird and stalking you)

Anyway! Yes of course I can but to be honest I prefer doing it with all six main characters (And courtiers if specifically asked) So that no one gets bummed that their favorite character wasn’t in the scenario. I love the all the babes and i wanna make them happy, I don’t want them not to ask me to do the scenario over with their favorite character because they don’t think i will. (Plus this keeps my masterlist cleaner) also thank you so much

Main Six With An Actor MC

—Nadia—

Truth be told Nadia has a thing for the theater. In fact she’s probably wanted to be an actor at one point but being the Countess doesn’t allow for such free time

(Plus she can’t act to save her life...)

She’s known you were an actor even before you both met. (Be it full time or pastime acting)

She saw you in a few of the plays done at the Theater in town, and can i just say, she LOVED you.

Your emotions on a whim, your attention to detail of your surroundings, the improv moments when someone messed up a line, your ability to remember your lines, the—

Oof! She can go on and on about how much she loves and adores your acting.

She goes to EVERY. SINGLE. SHOW.

She’s always bringing you gifts backstage or just singly waiting for you there to encourage you in between acts.

If your shy about your acting then she’ll simply encourage you more.

If you like to keep your work life and private life separate she can understand that and wont mention it that much at home (Because we all know she could go on forever about skilled you are)

—Julian—

To be honest you didn’t tell him. You figured it wasn’t that important or it never came up.

Well not until auditions at the theater where you both found each other wanting the same part.

At first he’s very surprised.

You both argue over who’s going to step out and let the other have the part when you realize you two are the only ones who made it to the finals.

The head man(? I don’t know theater talk) Decided you’d take one main character part, and Julian could ALSO play a main character.

When you guys are home you’ll probably do skits together a lot.

Maybe sing a few songs from musicals you were both in/have seen.

You guys are often in shows together and seen as the Theater power couple!

Be prepared for role play in the bed room

Make sure to punish him when he gets a line wrong ;)

—Asra—

Asra wasn’t surprised.

Don’t forget he basically raised you from when you were resurrected.

He was happy to see your love for the theater stayed even after death

He often takes you to shows, even after you’ve been together a while he’ll surprise you with tickets to the newest play/musical.

He’s probably the reason you started acting after he encourages you to go to an audition.

“If you don’t get the part, you don’t get the part but at least you had fun trying. You’ll never know unless you try.”

Definitely has helped you with your lines when you need someone to practice with.

He goes to every single one of the shows your in

You always know he’s there because he’s sitting in the front row and shushing ANYONE who dares make a sound durning your parts.

Brings you flowers, balloons, chocolates, hell its like its Valentine’s Day when he comes backstage to congratulate you after a show.

—Muriel—

You had mentioned once that you had been in a few plays/musicals to which he swiftly replied; “I know... I’ve seen them”

at your confusion he started to go red whilst also explaining that he watches them from the raptors sometimes and once saw you come on to try out, he thought you did great and started noticing you appearing in more and more of the plays.

Compliments you then continues to tell you that you should do more of them.

Though he will never mention it to anyone (Well maybe Asra) But the first time he heard you singing in a musical he thought you sounded like an angel.

Another thing he will NEVER admit to is how he kind of got excited when he first met you.

He still watched you from the raptors and refuses to sit in the crowd.

Once you started to get things backstage sent to you from the audience he started to get kind of jealous it after a little bit he got used to it.

If you do ever get famous because of it (As much as i hate to say it) It’s most likely a deal breaker for Muriel.

Not because he’s jealous or that he doesn’t want you get popular.

It’s just that with popularity comes people, and we all know people is the one thing Muriel cant take. I mean he might learn to be okay if it was just a few people coming up to you in town or something but if it turns into ull on crowds every time you go out or people following you back to muriels hut like creeps I don’t think he could take it.

He’ll still be your friend though and he’ll still worry about you and come to your acts!!!

—Portia—

Oh god she loves it

Brags all over town that your the best actor in the world

Comes to every single one of your shows. You always know she’s there because she’s the one clapping the loudest and wolf whistling at you in the crowd.

She once got into your fan-candy backstage and ate so much she got sick.

“I thought they were for everybody!”

Definitely shows you off to Julian first though!

Has hosted a mini theater show when you asked for help with your lines.

said mini theater show consistented of Julian, you, Portia, and Pepi being the actors (Pepi was always the bad guy) and Mezlinka being the audience. All of this done in the living room of Portias house.

Has nodoubtly cried over your actings before, even once or twice when just practicing the lines with her.

You made a mental note to not practice sad scenes with her.

—Lucio—

I’m sorry, WHAT!?

You had to preform a scene for him right away. After he’s whistling and applauding even if you chose to do one of you least favorite scenes off the top of your head.

“You know I’m something of an actor myself.”

But seriously, he does intend to tell E V E R Y O N E whenever he gets the chance.

Important meetings? “Hey did you know I’m dating an actor?”

Talking with any of the courtiers about the mascarde? “did you know MC is like the best actor? Like ever!”

Being yelled at by Nadia for not paying attention to said meetings? “Hey! Did you know MC was one {Play name}”

He donates a good portion to the theater because “My lover is NOT performing in some run down community theater!”

Always watches your plays from the highest seat in the theater.

Invites as many people as he can to your latest show.

You’ve single handedly gotten him into theater, weather your in the play or not (Though he perfers your acting over everyone else’s)

Stroke his ego by letting him practice lines with you and you’ll be doing the whole play with him.

Bonus points if you let him play the love intrest and it ends in kiss.

[kristoffsloveisntfragile]

Quarantine Love Story

Rating: T; Some swearing.

Word Count: 3,683

Pairing: Kristoff/Anna

Summary: Modern AU; Kristoff and Anna are roommates, and have been for 3 years. With them being stuck with each other in the same house for the past couple months, some things revealed themselves.

Notes: I started writing this in the beginning of quarantine, so some of the stuff in this may be a little outdated, but it still works I guess. I was worried that since it seemed like quarantine was going to end that this story wouldn’t work anymore, but you know, the world isn’t happening like that anymore, so we may be in quarantine for a while now. WEAR YOUR MASK AND WASH YOUR HANDS. ALSO BLACK LIVES STILL MATTER EVEN IF IT ISN’T TRENDING ANYMORE. DONATE, SIGN PETITION, SPEAK OUT. Thx, and enjoy the story :).

Day...Who knows anymore?

I write in my journal today wanting to write, but don’t really have anything to report. I think I’m keeping this journal in hopes someone finds this in the future and I become known as the modern Anne Frank. Seeming how we had similar experiences, stuck inside the same place, with the same people that I’m faced to see everyday. Every once in a while I see my sister, whether on facetime or she really wants to see me and comes over, and always gifts me with cadbury mini eggs...oof I’m even craving them now.

But besides that, I’ll go back to reality and wait until my roommate comes back with a bunch of groceries that were hopefully in stock. Until tomorrow, journal.

Anna set down her journal and pen and went back out to check if Kristoff came back from the store yet. When she saw that he wasn’t back, she grabbed a cup and poured the rest of her favorite juice in it. Since she couldn’t do much, she’s just been eating and drinking all of her snacks and drinks. She hoped he bought her more at the store.

When she heard his car pull up, she put her empty glass in the sink and ran outside to help him. She approached the back of the car, and saw that it was slowly opening, and also saw Kristoff getting out of the driver’s seat.

“Anything good still stocked?” She asked, then she truly saw how much stuff he got, and was genuinely shocked, “Wow,”

“Yep, the thing was the staff were restocking some products so I watched and waited a good 3-5 minutes after they were done to go for it. Probably took me a little longer than I wanted, but the outcome is great.”

Anna just started going in and taking some bags into the apartment, until she was stopped by his words, “Just don’t forget to wash your hands when you’re done,”

“Yeah, I will, don’t worry.” Anna kind of cut him off, and then continued back inside.

She couldn’t lie to herself, she was starting to get a little annoyed with Kristoff’s constant reminder to clean up after a day out.. She’s perfectly healthy, exercises on a sort-of daily basis; with them stuck inside her schedule has been off a little bit.

She just hoped she didn’t tick off Kristoff by cutting him off like that, she knows he’s just looking out for her, especially since they live together. Even before all of this, Kristoff was kind of a neat-freak, so she expected this to happen. I mean, after all, he did take her in when she really had nowhere else to go, since no place seemed right and she had just gone through a rough break up. Kristoff was a good friend and offered his place, for as long as she needed.

They brought in the rest of the bags and started unloading. She went into one bag, “Oh, yes! Thank you for getting the juice, I just drank the last of it.” Anna laughed, and then saw another bottle in the same bag, “Really? Vodka?”

Kristoff chuckled, “Hey, it was on sale, and we could all need some loosening up.” Kristoff smirked at Anna.

“I’m just surprised at the amount of people staying sober at this time.” Anna said.

After everything was put away, Anna went into the bathroom and washed her hands, as she promised, and hummed her favorite song. Not only to ensure she was washing for 20+ seconds, but she just liked to sing when she was doing mindless tasks. Kristoff went into the bathroom to retrieve something from the medicine cabinet, and admired her hummed voice. Once he was going around the apartment and doing his own things, he realized he was humming it too. He liked the song too, and couldn’t stop hearing it being sung in Anna’s voice. It was like entering heaven to him. He shook the thought out of his mind, and decided to really get his mind off of being cooped up in the apartment, so he went to the basement and worked out for a bit, enough to get some sweat out and his mind completely off of Anna.

~~~

A little while later, Anna had snuggled up on the couch as she usually does each night now, just starting the night with the 5th Harry Potter movie, Order of the Phoenix. Already comfortable with her blanket and her hot chocolate, Kristoff comes out of the bathroom from taking a shower after the exercise. He smiled when he saw Anna, so intently focused on the movie, but then he looked at the time.

“Starting the marathon rather late are we?” Kristoff passed by her to go to his room.

“Meh, I may only watch one tonight.” Anna said loud enough so Kristoff could hear her. He came back out with a cozy sweater on and sat on the other couch in the living room.

“That’s alright by me.” Kristoff got comfortable, and watched the movie with Anna.

The scene that was on was when Harry had detention with Professor Umbridge.

Harry stares into Dolores’ cold, dead eyes, trying to have a hint of sweetness. He wants to scream at her for what she had just done to his hand with the enchanted feather. But decided against it. Bad stuff has been happening already. “Nothing.”

“That’s right,” She whispers. “Cause you know, deep down...you deserve to be punished. Don’t you Mr.Potter?” She stares sinisterly at Harry.

Anna mumbles under her breath, “That bitch…” Kristoff laughs at her comment.

~~~

“You’re a really good teacher Harry.” Cho said, “I’ve never been able to stun anything before.” Cho looks up, a mistletoe starts forming above Harry and Cho’s head, she looks at Harry and whispers, “Mistletoe…”

Harry looks at Cho, “Probably full of nargles.” He says softly.

“What are nargles?”

“No idea.” Harry leans in to have his first kiss with Cho, alone in the Room of Requirement, sharing this moment together.

“You know, as a kid I didn’t like the idea of Cho and Harry getting together, but now they are kinda cute together…” Anna said, taking another sip of her hot chocolate that she made another cup of.

“Yeah, but then she totally rats them out about the Room of Requirement, and blows their chances by losing his trust.” Kristoff blatantly says.

“Uh, spoilers much?” Anna smirked.

“Oh come on, like you haven’t seen this whole series a thousand times.” Kristoff chuckled.

“Yeeeaaahhh but everytime I watch it likes I’m seeing it again for the first time.” Anna says.

Kristoff looks back and Harry Potter is explaining his first kiss to Herminoe and Ron, but his mind was still on the scene prior, how Harry had his first kiss and how happy he was to talk about it with his friends. Sure his friends (Herminoe) still found a way to see the hardships that Cho was going through, but Kristoff hoped whoever he’d end up with, his friends would be happy and only think of positives. 

He found that he was then looking at Anna. His subconscious knew that she was the one he was talking about, when he thought of who he would end up with.

‘Yeah, in your dreams Kristoff.’ His mind also thought. He shakes his head and gets up to get a drink and a snack.

He opened the cupboard where the alcohol is, and saw that it was already open. He didn’t realize Anna already got to it, since both times she made a cup of hot chocolate he wasn’t looking at her. But that still drove him to ask, “Did you already have some of the vodka?”

Anna looked over, then looked at her drink, and then took a sip, as if he just didn’t ask her a question.

He laughed, and made himself a vodka soda and got one of the snack pack puddings, an adult drink with a kid snack. Kristoff in a nutshell.

He returned to the movie and kinda kept an eye on Anna, seeing if he can tell if she was getting more drunk as the night went on.

~~~

“Do you want any help finding them?” Harry asked Luna, wanting to help find her stuff that people took. Luna smiles and shakes her head, she would be fine on her own.

Her expression falls as she says, “I’m sorry about your Godfather Harry…” She reaches out her hand and takes Harry’s. He is shocked and looks at the contact between them, and looks back up to meet Luna’s eyes. They let go of each other.

“Are you sure you don’t need any help looking?” Harry asks again.

“That’s alright. Anyway, my mom always said, ‘the things we lose have a way of coming back to us in the end’.” Her gaze wanders, and she sees her shoes hung from the archway, and Harry follows her gaze. “If not always in the ways we expect... Think I’ll go have some pudding.” She turns and skips away toward the Dining Hall, and Harry looks back at the shoes. He takes the lessons he just learned to heart. He did a quick smirk to himself.

“oH my gOd pudding would be amazing right now!” Anna says a little too loudly and abruptly, startling Kristoff a little bit, but he laughs it off. 

“There’s still some snack packs, want me to go grab you one?”

“That, would be great thanksssssss” Anna leans off the side of the couch and smiles with her eyes closed at Kristoff, as he gets up and gets another pack for him and one for Anna.

The rest of the movie finishes and Anna is smiling hard as ever. Order of the Phoenix is one of her favorite movies because of the ending lesson, ‘something worth fighting for’. 

“Wooo! God I love that movie.” She looked at the time on her phone, “Ahh, couldn’t hurt to watch one more right?”

Kristoff huffed, “Whatever you want, princess.” He calls her that when he didn’t care what she did, just so long it wasn’t illegal.

She hopped up from the couch, trying to keep her balance, as the alcohol is definitely starting to settle into her. She took out Order of the Phoenix, and put in Half-Blood Prince and sat back down. Kristoff saw how cozy and comfortable Anna looked, with her blanket and big sweater. How he wished he could just snuggle up with her, but that would seem inappropriate, so he just went to his room and got one pillow and a small blanket, actually it was the one Anna gave to Kristoff last Christmas, the first one they really spent together.

Kristoff set up his stuff on the couch and Anna remarked, “Are you gonna sleep out here tonight or what?” She huffed a drunken laugh.

“Nah, if we’re gonna watch another movie I might as well be comfortable.” He looked over at her, and again she was slumped over the side, as she found some comfort in that. “Plus, what if you end up passing out and I gotta clean up everything?”

“I won’t pass out, I’m not that drunk.” Some seriousness poked through. “Besides, you’ll fall asleep before me, you always do when watching movies.”

“Not when I have my vodka soda.” He raised his glass to his lips and gave a cheeky look to her. “You know that. By that rate, at my second one, I won’t fall asleep until I hit my head on my actual bed.”

She mocked his words and started the movie.

~~~

Some point during the movie, in one of the quiet parts, Kristoff noticed that Anna shivered, and her eyes got droopy. 

“Anna, you good?”

“Yeah, just got chilly-y, all of a sudden.” 

“Are you sick or something? Are you sure you feel okay?” Kristoff jumped up and put his hand to her forehead.

She laughed and swiped his hand away. “Trust me, I’m fine. Is like the window open or something? They said it was going to get cold tonight.”

Kristoff looked around the living room and as it turns out, there was the window open, one of the bigger ones in the room, causing cold air to get in. “See? Told you.” Anna says.

“Sorry, I’ve just been getting more paranoid lately. You never know.” He gets up to shut the window.

“Yeah, but even I knew that the cold air was making me cold, not the virus that I could’ve contracted. Which I didn’t. I’m certain. I’m healthy and fine, and have barely been in contact with anything or anyone.”

“I know..It’s just...you never know…” He quietly said as he went back to his seat on the other couch.

“But I do! Don’t you trust my word?”

“Of course I trust you! It’s just I…” Kristoff didn’t want to say it. He was trying to just get past it. But Anna wouldn’t let up.

“What? You what?” Anna persisted.

“I just care about you too much okay?!” Kristoff blurted out and looked at Anna with wide eyes. But immediately took them back and sank into the couch, trying to glue his eyes to the TV. Hoping she would take it not in the way he meant it.

“You...care about me?” Anna was taken back a little.

“I mean. You’re my roommate. To a degree I have to care about your well being.” Kristoff tried to distract from the actual fact that Kristoff liked Anna. Like, really liked her.

“No...that’s not what you mean.” Anna said, almost in a whisper. 

“Look don’t read into it too much, I just meant…” Kristoff stopped when he looked at Anna to finally make eye contact with her, but that’s when he noticed a small smile started to creep up on her face.

Dammit… She knows...But, maybe that’s not such a bad thing.

“Kristoff, I…” She started to say.

“Don’t...just…” Kristoff tried to keep brushing it off.

“I know what you mean, though.” Anna shifted on the couch to fully face him, setting down her mug.

Kristoff looked at her, for what felt like forever. There was just silence. 

“Kristoff...do you..” Anna started to say, but then was cut off by Kristoff.

“Look, I don’t want to talk about it. We’re roommates, that’s all.” He got up and went to his room, shutting the door. Not too loudly, he wasn’t mad or anything, just embarrassed.

If at all he was ever going to admit his feelings for Anna, this isn’t the way he imagined it. He laid on his bed, with one pillow and blanket missing, and tried to just get past the moment. He was certain she wasn’t feeling the same things as he did. 

It took a couple minutes but Anna knocked on Kristoff’s door. He looked at the door, he decided not to say anything, and just laid on his back and stared at the ceiling. 

“Kristoff?..” Anna said quietly. “I know you’re still awake. I also know you can’t sleep with the lights on.” 

Kristoff sighed. “You already know it’s open too.” He shut his eyes tight to make sure it was all real.

He heard the door creak open and he looked to his right, and saw Anna slowly walk in. When the door was half open, she just stood there holding the doorknob. “Yeah, but that doesn’t always mean I’m invited in.” She said, looking a little hurt.

“Of course you’re invited in, you’re my roommate.” He sat up and waved his hand for her to come in more.

Anna went to the edge of the bed and sat on the very edge, to where it looked like she was going to fall off. 

“You’re making it seem like I’m mad at you.” Kristoff said.

“Well, are you?” Anna barely looked into his eyes.

“No of course not. How can I ever be mad at you?” Kristoff said. 

“Well…” Anna adjusted herself to sit better. “How long have you..?”

Kristoff sighed. “Well...first of all I never said anything about liking you.” Anna laughed a little at that. “And second...God, I don’t even remember anymore. It’s been a while. On and off.”

“Why? Why on and off?” 

“Because you always showed interest in other guys, not me. Or, if you did you did very well to hide it.” Kristoff managed to crack a smile. 

“Well, yeah I guess.” Anna mumbled and looked down at her hands, as she was nervously playing with them.

“There just never seemed like the right time. I mean hell, I took you in when you had nowhere else to go because of that jerk, um.. Lars?”

She scoffed, “Hans..”

“Whatever. I wanted to be there for you and comfort you, but at the same time, I was afraid I would fall hard way too soon, and you needed the space too, so...I don’t know what I’m even saying anymore.” Kristoff backed off from trying to explain his feelings.

“Wait, so, you’ve liked me, since I moved in? That was like, 3 years ago. Multiple relationships between us have come and gone, and...you still had interest in me this whole time?” Anna asked.

“Well...yeah.” Kristoff managed to get out.

Anna smiled, but didn’t know what else to say. So didn’t Kristoff, especially since she hasn’t admitted her feelings, he was just there going about his feelings, feeling like an idiot. So there was just silence between them.

Anna finally thought of something to say. “You know. Since I’ve been here so long with you, I’ve gotten comfortable with you. Like the first time I really had a nightmare, I stayed out in the living room, and then you came out and hugged me until I felt comfortable. After that, if I had a nightmare, I would just come in here and tell you that I need comfort. And you didn’t hesitate to do that. And there’s many more things that I was willing to do because I felt more closer and connected with you. Like tonight. I almost asked if you wanted to just sit on the same couch as I was on. But I felt that was taking it too far...and many more things too because we both had a relationship at one point or another. So I guess what I’m saying is...it’s back on for me. And it has been for a while.”

That last part got Kristoff’s attention. Did she just admit her feelings?

“You mean…?” Kristoff asked.

“I like you too Kristoff.” She finally said.

Kristoff couldn’t contain his smile. 

“Does that smile mean you feel the same way?” 

“Of course it does Anna. Like I said, I care about you. And like you predicted, I’m head over heels for you.” 

She quickly crawled over to him and gave him a hug. The weird thing was, is that there was no weird feeling. It all felt so right for them. Like they belonged together. 

They parted to look at each other. Kristoff did immediately feel bad for something though.

“Look, I’m sorry if I seemed very over protective of you. It’s just with everything going on…”

“I know. It’s okay. I get why, and sorry if I did seem annoyed on the outside, on the inside it felt heartwarming knowing that someone was concerned on that level. Like yeah Elsa asks if I’m okay, and I get a couple texts from other people, but...well I guess all those people can’t be too protective because they don’t live with me like you do, so a text is the next best thing to check up on someone-”

“Wow, I forgot how much you like to ramble-”

Already 2 minutes into this relationship and Anna smacks him playfully for his comment.

“Hey! I think it’s adorable, is what I was going to say.” Kristoff smiled again. So did Anna once she realized it was a compliment he was paying her.

They just sat in each other's arms for a bit, basking in the fact that they were a thing now. After 3 years of living together, and the past few months of being cooped up together, it finally happened. Anna finally piped up to say something.

“Well...now you know that I’m perfectly fine, do you mind if I..” Anna asked, almost scared to say the ending of her sentence.

“If you kiss me?” Kristoff said, finishing her sentence, and then gently laughed. “You know, I was thinking the same thing.” He looked deep into her eyes and leaned toward her. She accepted his lips as they pressed into hers. They both smiled into each other. 

She hummed her excitement as they parted. Anna’s eyes were closed as she smiled. Kristoff laughed again at her dopey-looking face. 

“What do you say we watch the rest of Harry Potter on the same couch?” Kristoff asked her.

“Okay, now you read my mind.” Anna managed to get out of Kristoff’s embrace, but grabbed his hand and led him to the living room. Anna was not afraid to get touchy and close to him, and neither was he. Kristoff grabbed Anna’s waist and slightly picked her up and he plopped on the couch with Anna landing on top of him. They got comfortable, with Anna’s big blanket covering them both, they picked up where they left off with the movie, and just enjoyed each other for the rest of the movie, until they eventually fell asleep.

Kristoff did wake up because of the fact that Anna was moving and mumbling as she was sleeping. It took him a second to wake up, then he picked her up and brought her to his room. He got her and himself comfortable, and went back to sleep with her in his arms.

~Morning After~

Day Whatever of Quarantine

Oh. My. God. Journal, you have no idea what I’m about to tell you. And it’s good. So good, my hand will be hurting after this entry...

[stevenbasic]

I’m shrinking. I’m fucking shrinking. 

I couldn’t believe it, I was so confused. How is this happening?? This can’t be happening!! But it was then that I first really realized it...

We had almost made it out of the dressing room. I was just straightening my tie. All the new clothes - hers and mine - were separated out: ones we wanted, ones we didn’t. We’d been doing this for more than an hour and we really needed to get back to the office. My patients were due to begin…

..15 minutes ago!

“Uh, Melissa,” I began, as she was just touching up her lipstick in the dressing room mirror, “we really need to get b-”

“KNOCK KNOCK!” called a woman’s voice, as the curtain which led out to the store was pulled aside. We both turned, and in came a middle-aged woman with a measuring tape draped around her neck and dress on a rack...a white dress…

...a wedding dress. That’s weird, for a department store, right?

“Oh, you’re almost done in here?” the lady said. She was a salesperson from the store, a real chatty one that we’d found ourselves having to avoid earlier as we shopped. “Oh good. I’m just going to leave this here. It’s a dress that a bride didn’t like, she’s returning it after all the alterations...the nerve...” Why she was explaining this to us, I have no idea.

“Oh it’s beautiful!” Melissa answered, reaching out to finger the embroidered fabric, “Why would she..??”

“Oh I don’t know! And I had to do so much to it - I do it all myself, you know, for the store, the sewing, the tailoring! She was such a tall girl…” the woman said, casting a glance up and down Melissa, and pulling a pencil from out behind her ear, “probably about your height.” The woman narrowed her eyes. “Long legs, too. Like you. In fact...” She pulled out a small pad of paper from a pocket.

“Oh my goodness,” Melissa sang, reading the woman’s intentions, “can I try it on?”

“Well sure, sweetie!!” the saleslady said, glancing briefly over my way,“I don’t see a ring yet but are you two going to be-”

“Haha no!” I interjected, slipping my arms back into my sport jacket. I wasn’t sure if the saleslady was hearing me or more intent on the numbers on her pad. “Nothing like that. We just work together. In fact we were just about to head b-”

“Oh, don’t be a poop! Yes, we’re engaged..!” Melissa laughed, slapping my arm, “He’s so funny!”

Wait what?!

“By this time next year we’ll be ‘Dr. and Mrs. J’, hopefully shopping for baby clothes…” Melissa claimed, somehow with a straight face, “I do need to start looking for a dress sometime, right honey?” 

“Melissa I-“

“And it’s every girl’s dream to see herself in a wedding dress. Here - now…” She cocked her head, hands analyzing the dress, the elasticity of the bodice, “...this should fit, right?”

Wait. What is she doing? I thought.

“Well, let’s see-” the saleslady said, eyes finally fully taking in Melissa’s eye-popping curves, the shadow of doubt settling over her face - perhaps worried, now, about the well-being of the dress. Nonetheless, she pulled out a measuring tape and - without a moment’s hesitation - reached it around  Melissa’s generous hips. “Wow, you’re a big girl,” she said, eyeing the number, stretching the tape to the top of her head. 

Melissa kicked off her shoes as the seamstress measured her height. “I’m forty-six in the bust…” she offered, “right, sweetie?” She looked over at me with a twinkle, trying to keep from giggling.

“Uh, yeah,” I answered. I would have flushed red but had run dry of blushes long ago.

”Six feet...and a bit…” the saleslady finally announced, penciling it onto her pad, “You could try the dress - and you could have it for a good deal.”  She hung her tape around her neck again, slipped the pad away. “Don’t you think she’ll look lovely coming down the aisle?”

“Yes, but..no. Well of course yes but like I said,” I stammered, flustered by how little these women were listening to me, “we’re not getting m-”

“Oh, wouldn’t that be nice, sweetie??” Melissa beamed, her eyes meeting mine in mischief, her hands reaching for mine, giving them an excited shake, “That way we’ll have more money for the honeymoon!” In an instant, she’d dropped my hands and grabbed the dress by its hanger.

“Haha Melissa...really, this is silly,” I said, trying to laugh as she headed back to the changing room, scooping up a shoebox on the way, “We’re not-”

She closed the door on us.

“Will you listen to him? What a kidder,” Melissa sang out from behind the shut door as she, apparently, was beginning to change into a wedding dress, “Don’t think you’re getting away from ME mister!” In the transom over the door, I saw her arms reaching up, already stripping off her top, “I’m going to MAKE you marry me!”

Well, she was certainly enjoying herself, teasing me like this, with this charade. I felt so powerless, absolutely unable to stop her. 

“Oh I can tell already,” she was saying, “This is going to look so pretty! At church, dancing at the reception..so many snaps, though! You’re going to need to help me get out of it afterwards....”

As Melissa changed in the stall, to my chagrin describing our hypothetical wedding night, the saleslady - Lorna, by her name tag - turned to me, smiling. I did my best to smile back, barely able to shrug and deciding, for my own sanity, to play along. I was, of course, telling myself I was hoping that this would be over quickly...but then the idea of seeing Melissa in a wedding dress began to weasel itself into my mind.

For the moment, Lorna and I both listened to the sounds coming from the changing room. Little grunts and giggles of effort from Melissa, the groans of stretching fabric. With each little ‘oof’ I couldn’t help but picture her squeezing herself into the bodice. “Oh I really hope I don’t pop this dress!” we heard her laugh, “If I don’t stop putting on weight you won’t be able to carry me across the threshold!”

As we waited, Lorna spoke up. “I could measure you for your tuxedo right now, hun,” she offered,  already on me with the measuring tape, measuring my arm, shoulder-to-wrist, “We have some nice ones to rent but of course you’d want to buy. About how tall are you?” 

This is not even a battle worth fighting, I thought, despondently helpless to the whims of both these women. “uh...5’11”?” I answered, even as Lorna had me swiftly measured head-to-toe.

“You’re 5’8”, hun,” she replied plainly. 

“Gah! What?” I blurted, “No. That can't be right.  Do that again.”

A mistake, of course, I immediately thought, as the seamstress raised her brows and set back to task. I’ve always been 5’11”...or, well, maybe 5’10 ¾”...But then, memories of little things I’d noticed over the past couple weeks - how my pants had been fitting, the car seat - all rushed back at once, made my vision begin to swim. It was like I’d known something already...but just hadn’t adm-

“Yep, 5’8”,” Lorna confirmed, standing next to me. She was not a tall woman, and looked up at me with bugged eyes through thick bifocals. I knew it made no sense, that she must be wrong, that I’d have to check this myself once I got a minute back at the office - but something inside me was already dark with dread.

“It’s very popular these days, I hear,”  Lorna continued, as a windstorm of confused thoughts began to whirl through my brain, “Couples like you.”

”Couples like what?” I snapped, maybe too harshly as I stood there trying to make sense of this. Had I really shrunk three inches?? And...is she trying to make me feel better?? “And...we’re not a cou-”

”Couples where the girl is taller, hun,” Lorna pressed on, “Lots of women are looking for shorter men, they say. It’s very fashionable. You’ve seen it, right? My daughter was telling me th-”

The door to the changing room opened. 

Holy shit.

Stopping us both in our tracks, Melissa stepped out in a wedding dress that looked - wow. Off-the-shoulder, lacey sleeves, a slinky silhouette. A classic look that was not too different than what my wife wore at our wedding seven years ago - but Sheryl certainly never looked like THIS. The dress accentuated every one of Melissa’s dramatic curves and-

I grimaced as I realized that I had just spent several flabbergasted seconds openly ogling her while she just stood there, looking down...way down...on me. 

“5’8”, huh?” she asked, stepping right up to me with a funny smile

“Oh you look lovely!!” Lorna gushed, “And my goodness with those shoes on so tall..!” She took a step back, to really take Melissa in. “Magnificent, really…”

“Thank youuuuu…” Melissa purred, placing a hand firmly on my shoulder. I looked up at her, and felt smaller than ever. “Maybe we should elope, honey? Next week on vacation?” she teased, “Do the wedding on the beach?”

The imagery was just too much...

“Wouldn’t that be so fun?”

“I think we’d have to take it in at the waist,” Lorna continued, half to herself, stepping up to Melissa’s side to pinch and tug at the fabric with a critical eye, “Let it out here...and there…” She took another step back, nodding in open admiration. “And hon I have to say you look just adorable, standing there next to her,” Lorna crowed, “If you two weren’t a couple I’d get you together with my daughter.”

“Oh no,” Melissa laughed, turning for the moment towards Lorna and inadvertently pressing her large left breast into my upper back, as her strong arm went around my thin shoulders, “Hands off he’s mine!”

Lorna chuckled. “I guess the good ones are always taken, hm?”

“yeah…” Melissa mused, a funny smile on her face and a twinkle in her eyes as she turned back to me, possessively straightening my collar, “isn’t that the truth…”

=========================

Had a lot of help from my crew on this one, but especially Alex-GTS-Artist who was kind enough to donate his services and get us a look at Melissssy in a wedding dress. So awesome, thank you! Check out his DeviantArt and support him if you can!

https://www.deviantart.com/alex-gts-artist

[magioftheseas]

Joyous Occasion

Written for @komahinaisle

Day 3: Genderbend AU, Unspoken, Wedding

Summary: In which Hinata watches her crush and her sister get married.

Rating: G

Warnings: None, really.

Notes: This was probably the easiest premise to come up with, and it’s short and...well. Not sweet. But it’s slightly less awkward than the love duets in LesMiz which are interrupted by Eponine’s angsting. Seriously what even was that. In My Life for worst song in that musical.

***Alternate Ao3 Link***

Commission? Donate?

Truth be told, she hadn’t expected anything. She’d just sit there, feign pride, and pass off her tears as happy ones as she watched the love of her life get her veil pulled back. Izuru is gentle with her, of course. She tenderly brushes Komaeda’s hair back, and wipes a tear off that fragile cheek.

Hajime swallows back a sob of her own. Komaeda gives her sister a beautiful smile and in a moment of weakness, Hajime’s gaze drops as the two of them kiss. Her hands fist into her dress.

It’s supposed to be a happy moment. And she feels sick.

Komaeda laughs, and it’s as endearing as it’s always been. Hajime still loves the sound.

Izuru—will take good care of her. She has to. She’d better.

Hajime very nearly bites hard enough into her lip to taste blood.

--

She’s had a thing for Komaeda for a while, now. They met in high school and Komaeda was one of the first friends she made. Komaeda was quirky, but kind and considerate. Sheepish and soft-spoken. Undeniably cute, even with her rather unusual appearance.

Hell, Hajime hadn’t even realized that Komaeda was a girl at first with her short unruly hair and partiality for heavy green jackets. It hadn’t meant much, of course. If anything, Hajime felt more relaxed around her.

When Hajime had invited her over and meet her sister, Komaeda’s entire body turned rigid in a way never before seen. Her gray-green, moon-like eyes grew even wider, and she nearly choked on her own name. From the start, it was clear her friend had a crush.

Hajime had been dismayed, but not surprised. Izuru had gotten plenty of confessions over the years from men and women alike. Her only real concern was Komaeda being the latest to cry over a harsh rejection. She had pulled Izuru aside, and made that clear.

“If you’re going to let her down, let her down easy.” She tried to be firm, even as she hissed through her teeth. “Komaeda’s sweet. Don’t break her heart just because you’re bored.”

“She’s different,” was Izuru’s response. “I will be sure to treat her differently.”

“I’m just saying to be civil!” She hadn’t thought to question Izuru’s idea of different. “She’s a friend, alright?”

“A friend. I understand.”

It was—weird. Izuru looked at her expectantly. She hadn’t understood why. She brushed it off. She had long since given up on Izuru being someone she could understand.

So, she hadn’t expected anything else. She hadn’t even thought to expect anything else.

Stupid.

--

“Have to admit,” Koizumi mutters as she flips through the pictures. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen Nagi-chan this happy.”

“She’s only been growing more and more radiant ever since they begun dating,” Hajime retorts, staring at one of the pictures in question. Komaeda is flushing, almost hiding her face in her bouquet, but there was still a visible upwards curve to her lips and a sparkle in her gaze.

Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. Would she have been this beautiful if it was with me?

There’s no point in wondering such things anymore. Even if she had been blind-sided by Izuru’s admittance of interest in Komaeda, she had respected it.

Izuru will treat her right. Isn’t that what matters?

When her eyes slide over to the couple of the evening, Komaeda seems awfully anxious and fidgety in spite of her polite smile. She’s squirming. Their parents are trying to make conversation with her. Izuru is mediating with grace, with a protective arm wrapped around her newly wedded wife’s shoulder and squeezing. Izuru’s gaze flickers to Komaeda every so often, and it’s not long before Izuru excuses them both.

Because Komaeda can get pretty overwhelmed sometimes. And she needs a break when she does, even if she’s always too meek to ask for one.

Hajime remembers similar instances. Taking Komaeda by the hand, pulling her away from the crowd, and letting her catch her breath and shudder. Reassuring her as she apologized.

“Izuru would get the same way,” she had explained. “I’m used to it.”

“E-Even Izuru-san, huh?” Komaeda blinked, swallowing. “I never—would have thought.”

Hajime nodded, smiling and rubbing her thumb over Komaeda’s frail hand.

“Sometimes, you just need a break. And someone who understands.”

Komaeda jerkily nodded in return, eyes still watery. And how Hajime had wished to embrace her in that moment, how she had wished to tuck the other away into her arms and keep her safe.

If I had said something back then—no, there’s no point at all.

Right now, Komaeda is being comforted by her wife. Isn’t that all that matters? Isn’t that all?

“Hajime-chan?” Koizumi prodded her. “Hey, what’s up?”

“It’s nothing. I think I just need some fresh air.” With a crooked smile, she waved her hand. “Sorry, sorry.”

Koizumi is quick to say it’s alright. She’s always been considerate, so Hajime does feel a little bad about deceiving her. But it’s not like confiding would help, either.

It would be humiliating.

Almost as humiliating as not looking in the newlyweds’ direction when she has to pass them by to get outside. If only she could be so lucky as to not be called out to before she could reach the entrance.

“Hinata-san!”

Komaeda could have stopped her with just a glance. Right now, she was scampering after her, pulling at her gown so that it didn’t get in the way. She does wobble a bit, and of course Hajime moves to catch her—but it’s unnecessary because Izuru is beside her and steadying her the second that Komaeda trips.

“Oof! Probably shouldn’t try to run in heels, ehe,” Komaeda giggles cutely and then goes to remove the heels in question. Her feet are swollen. Hajime tries not to stare as she rubs at her ankle. “I’m not used to being dressed up like this.”

“It’s just for today,” Hajime found herself saying, and because she apparently liked to suffer, she added, “You look beautiful.”

Komaeda flushed, cupping her cheeks and making a precious, euphoric squeal.

“N-Not as beautiful as Izuru, obviously!”

“False,” Izuru said, to which Hajime nodded along.

“You shouldn’t be so down on yourself when it’s your special day. The party isn’t too overwhelming, is it?”

Here I am, making conversation when I really just want to disappear.

“What about you?” Komaeda asked. “You didn’t overwork yourself on our account, did you? You look exhausted, Hinata-san!”

Izuru does stare at her, but she doesn’t say a word. Hajime wouldn’t be surprised if she knew.

It’s always been obvious, huh? Just how inferior I am compared to you. Just—just treat her well, okay? I won’t ask for anything else.

The pleas that she almost wants to spill out at Izuru’s feet are suffocating her, but she just swallows them back for now so that she can give her dearest friend a reassuring smile.

“It’s worth it. You and Izuru are important to me.”

“W-Wah, Hinata-san!”

Komaeda jumped forward, embracing her tightly.

“S-So kind! You’re so, so, so kind, Hinata-san! I’m so lucky! So, so lucky!” Komaeda’s shoulders are trembling, and her breath hitches like she’s about to start crying again. Numbly, Hajime can only hug her in return. “How can I ever make it up to you?”

“What are friends for if not stuff like this?” Hajime whispered, both to Komaeda and to herself. In a moment of sickening indulgence, she holds Komaeda close, breathing in the sweet perfume of honeydew and lavender. “You don’t need to make up anything. I wanted to help you. Because we’re friends.”

“I’m so glad,” Komaeda sobbed into her shoulder. “Thank you, Hinata-san. You’re wonderful. You really are.” Pulling back, she presses her lips tenderly to Hajime’s cheek. “Let’s do our best to support one another from now on. As family.”

“Right,” Hajime murmured, almost breathless. “Family.”

“Family,” Izuru hummed in droning agreement. “Let’s give our sister some space for now, Nagi.”

“Aha! Oh, right! You probably came out here to get away from all the people!” Komaeda laughs as Izuru tugs her away. Hand against her cheek to hold the other’s kiss in place, Hajime can only watch and wave farewell. Komaeda waves, too. “Please take it easy, Hinata-san! You deserve it, after all!”

I deserve this?

Watching her friend and her sister leave together, at the bright grin on Komaeda’s face and how Izuru’s own gaze was soft in a way never witnessed before—Hajime supposed that it could only be a joyous moment. After they were gone, however, Hajime wanted to chase after them into that basking glow of their happiness.

They don’t need me. Either of them. But that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t be happy for them now. Don’t cry. Don’t ruin their wedding by crying.

Hajime took in a deep shuddering breath and straightened up. She had still bled wrinkles into her dress even after smoothing down the fabric. She breathed once more. In, out.

“That’s it, Hinata-san,” Komaeda had whispered oh so tenderly to her once upon a time. “Just breathe and you’ll be fine.”

If not for her own sake, she’ll believe that for Komaeda’s.

[ocular-intercourse]

@mangosandchili, Asher, the 4th

🌲 What is the kindest thing your OC has ever done for someone? What is the kindest thing someone has ever done for them? On the flip side, what is the worst thing your OC has done to another person?

People probably don’t immediately consider Asher to be kind, especially not since Adam disappeared. But that’s just because Asher tends to hide it. He is full of kindness, but most of it is silent, secret. Being kind for him is easy, cause he has the means to be kind easily, he does not want the attention because he does not want the praise for something that is so effortless with his privilege. He’s the person to pay for a meal when nobody is looking and when they go to pay the waiter tells them it’s already taken care of. He makes donations, but never in his name. He protects every single person close to him every single day. That’s probably the kindest thing he does, taking the weight of the world on his own shoulders so nobody else has to help carry it. As long as his father is focused on him, he’ll leave his brothers be, as long as he plays along with his father’s wishes for as much as he can bare, his father won’t punish him by harming people close to him. As long as he does not tell people about the things that are happening they are not implicated, they can just live their lives without worry. The kindest thing.. oof, I mean ppl are kind to him all the time cause they want in on the money and connections, so he does not trust a lot of it, or take it very seriously. Devin sticking around even after learning about his father and everything that is happening would be the one. Asher might not want it, but he’s definitely thankful for it, and it does save him. The worst thing is another wonderful painful thing to think about for Asher cause he sees so many terrible things he could list, but one is and will always be on top: Getting Adam killed. You could argue that it was his father, not Asher’s fault at all, but Asher would just counter with if Adam hadn’t known him, hadn’t been his boyfriend, he would not have died, so how could he not blame himself.

🌳 What does your OC do when they see others upset or in pain? An upset friend? A stranger?

That is extremely dependent on the situation. A lot of time he has to keep in mind who is there, what they will see, what his father might hear about it. If he can tell the problem is periodical, it will go away without his help, he will more often than not just ignore it. It’s not worth it, putting people on his father’s radar by associating with them. Most things people are going through are nothing compared to the things his father would do to them if Asher gave him any reason to believe they could be a useful tool to hurt or motivate him. People close to him, Devin or May, he would stay away from them in public, make it seem like he could not care less, and check in on them as soon as he has the opportunity to do so without witnesses. No wonder people think he is self-absorbed and cruel.

🌿 What is something true about your OC that they refuse to admit about themselves? Is there any reason to this besides embarrassment?

Anything positive probably. He is so deep down the rabbit-hole of hating himself for everything that has happened that he can’t accept the good things that are still there. That’s why he can’t understand Devin’s interest for the longest time, it makes him so angry to think he could see something worthwhile in him, he imagines it might just all be about the money. But Devin does eventually list a list of things that made him fall for him, one sounding more outlandish than the next to Asher’s ears. Most of all that Devin watches so carefully, he can see the stuff Asher tries to bury by being deliberately assholeish. He tells him how he can see his kindness, even when he tries to hide it, in the little things he does and hopes nobody notices, he sees how much he cares, that he tries to push for justice in the discussions he has with their teachers, he sees how big his heart is when he puts on an entirely different persona in front of his siblings.. and Asher cries out of relief of somebody seeing anything worthwhile in his character, but he still refuses to accept these things as true. Or more accurately, he argues them away, these things don’t count, most things, most accomplishments, don’t count for him, cause he either sees them as an act he puts on, or a direct result of the money and support he grew up with. That’s why he can’t stand the ‘gifted’ lable either, any talent he has he only has because he had all the resources of the world on his hands and a father at the back of his neck that did not allow him to be mediocre at anything. He does not quite see that only because you are expected to be extraordinary at something most people can’t just simply comply to that and actually succeed. But to him it’s all worth nothing.

🍃 Describe a regular day for your OC. What is their schedule (if they have one).          

His day has always been packed with activities and schoolwork, he’s very used to little free time, he is not exactly good at relaxing, or maybe he relaxes better by doing stuff than by doing nothing at this point. Being with Adam he had wrangled a bit more free time to be with him but he’s still very much overscheduled. So he has the art school classes, working on projects, learning, he has tutors for different languages, mainly mandarin at the moment, he goes to the shooting range, he has teachers for self-defense, he does not go to classes for instruments anymore but he still makes time to play, he goes to night school economics classes on the side, has to do the work and learning for that, he makes time for his siblings, time for the dance classes for the elderly he attends as a volunteering partner, he has clover, though she is well taken care of by the family’s staff, and any time in-between he probably fills with reading, or travelling to see exhibitions or concerts in other cities. There’s the social obligations of upper class people, socializing, fraternizing. Church on Sundays. And then there’s the times his father calls him in, demands him to be there, that can be as simple as business meetings, or dinner with some powerful allies, or turf war discussions with other crime families, or his father dealing out his punishment to the people that wronged him. And then recuperating from seeing people tortured and dying and suffering… Therapy. his plate is FULL. Which is not a bad thing, it keeps him occupied. He would simply not be able to do nothing, it would ruin him.

🍁 What is your OC’s most traumatic experience? (If they don’t have just one traumatic experience either pick one or describe them all!)

:) hooo boy, Asher has a whole portfolio of traumatic events, there are so many they start to become normal to him. He is surrounded by a lot of violence and psychological warfare. Of his father wanting to break him into becoming something he does not want to be. And when Asher refused his father’s orders too much he came up with a new way of disciplining him. Top of the list is of course seeing his boyfriend, love of his life, who he’s been with since they were practically children, tied to a chair, get shot and die, right next to him. By Asher’s father. As an direct answer to Asher’s behavior and educational measure, showing what happens when Asher disobeys. There’s not topping that, really. Maybe there is, but I refuse to.

🍄 How would your OC react to the death of a friend/family member/loved one? Is there anyone they can confide in?

:)) Godddd. Well, the one close death he’s been subjected to he has not really been allowed to deal with, no time for healing and grief. He did go to a clinic for a while after suffering a psychotic break down after what had happened. Asher tried for a while to tell the police what his father had done, even wrote to more distant police departments or investigators, only to always be redirected to his father till he had enough of Asher trying to rat him out and threatened sending Asher himself to prison for Adam’s murder, the staff at the clinic would gladly testify about Asher telling them about it, or threatened other people getting hurt if he kept trying to spread information. Officially, Adam ‘went missing’, the police covered it up, deduced he just ran away, queer kid from a somewhat small town, probably wanted to get away to the city. Asher and Adam’s family very much advocated against those findings, to no avail. He does not really have anybody to confide in. His therapist works for his father so he’s not very inclined to talk to him too truthfully. Other than that he has nobody he would share something like that with, cause he is too paranoid of his father finding out and tying up loose ends. Till now he’s pretty much just relied on numbing medication to get through the day, sleeping pills to get through the night. He has panic attacks and break downs and is irrational and aggressive, he is a mess, but he has no choice but to keep going. He has successfully pushed anybody away enough for them to either not care or leave him alone. I feel like, and Asher would hate that thought, anybody else dying, would almost feel like relief to him. One less person to be constantly scared for. One less reason to stay alive.

🌾 What would your OC be like if they were evil. Or if they’re already evil what would they be like as the good guy?

Evil Asher would be happy??? That’s really the ideal solution to all his problems. If he complied to his father, happily, to step into his footsteps and become his successor, he would not have a single problem. All of his trouble comes simply from him not being able to live with hurting other people. If he’d just be able to do that, no problem, he could just life his regular life at the side. So evil Asher would be soon-to-be crime boss, and good at it.

💐 How would your OC react to somebody telling them that they love them? (+ bonus give another characters/OC name!)

Nausea, doubt, refusal, panic. He does not want it, there is nothing good that comes from loving him, other than putting people in danger, when his father considers them as effective ways to threaten him. He hardly let’s other people say positive things about him, I love yous are definitely too much, he would probably be extra dickish the next couple of days, trying to scare you away more effectively. Devin definitely has been through that a couple of times, any time Asher lets him get a bit closer the next day he pushes him away twice as hard. Good thing Devin is persistent, as long as he knows Asher is just putting on an act because he is scared and hurt, he has no problem seeing past his behaviour.

🌷 What does your OC hate about themself? What lies about themself do they believe? On the flip side, What does your OC love about themself?

:))) It’s all shame and guilt and hatred. Even if he has good sides, they are either an act, or they are just useless? They do nothing for him, or for others. He’d rather be a bigger asshole, feel less, care less, and other people would be much safer.. well the regular civilians at least. He tries sometimes to convince himself, the people his father deals with, the ones he kills or punishes, they are in that situation for a reason, they dealt with the wrong people, they have made that deal knowing what could happen. Better to hurt them, than to hurt unsuspecting folks. But he just can’t justify hurting people, no matter who. So maybe what he hates the most about himself is his code of morality. He also hates thinking about his childhood, about admiring his father, before he knew about any of the crime. The lies he believes about himself are the ones he tells himself, about how terrible and unlovable he is, just a snobby rich kid with no redeeming qualities. He’d really have to dig deep to find anything he would actually consider lovable, I can’t quite come up with anything honestly. Jeez. Poor boy.

🥀 What is something your OC blames themselves for and is it really their fault? Does it keep them up at night and is there any lingering trauma?

Adam’s death, of course. Not that he has any control over his father’s actions, but he could have told Adam more about what was happening with his dad, so he could have made the informed decision of getting the hell out of there. He thinks about it all the time. His guilt, what he could have done differently, how he’s not allowed anything good anymore, cause Adam is somewhere rotting in a ditch and he is living, enjoying things? Impossible, not allowed.

🌺 In what situation would your OC be pushed to commit an act of violence? Would they go as far to kill someone if they had to? How would this affect them and their relationships with others?

:)))) He is constantly being pushed to commit acts of violence and he constantly refuses even though the consequences are hard. He does, however, finally, eventually, get pushed over the edge, when he’s once more facing the same situation, of the boy he loves sitting tied up in front of his father. He laughs about it sometimes, afterwards, the absurdity, the god-complex of his father, who really thought putting them in a room, giving Asher a weapon and telling him to kill his boyfriend would somehow not lead to his own death. So yeah, Asher does decide to kill his father. Thought the deciding part is not exactly an active choice, he blinks and is suddenly kneeling over his father’s perforated body. Which is probably the only way you could get Asher to kill someone, not by making him choose to consciously, but by giving him no other choice, for him to lose control and let his desperation take over. Devin tiptoes around Asher for a while, cause he’s just scared of what that did to him. He’s very attentive, looking for shock and trauma and anything he can help with.

🌸 What would your OC do if they were given god-like powers or the ability to change anything about the world for a whole day?

He would want to meet dead people, mostly artists, he admires. Have a chat with Van Gogh, meet Kurt Cobain, pick Hieronymus Bosch’s brain.. Just talk about creation and inspiration and their world views.

🌼 Describe one of your OC’s worst nightmares.

One of his loved ones dying because he was stupid enough to agree to be close to them, as secretly as they could, cause he should know better, his father has eyes and ears everywhere, how could he be so stupid and selfish. Alternatively his father finally giving up on converting Asher and trying to do the same to Gabriel, or Leo when he is older.

🌻 What advice would your OC give to their younger self? What advice does your OC need now?

Kill him NOW??? You will kill him eventually, just do it now. Safe Adam.  Right now, hm, probably something about sharing the burden. Talking to people, his family specifically, since they are involved some way or another anyways and might just be able to help, if only by having an open ear. But he’s a burned child, he is way way too scared of consequences to his actions now that he would want to take risks, even if they seem unlikely. Better safe than sorry.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #302

“heaven ain’t close in a place like this”

What color are your eyes? Grayish blue. What's your favorite type of milk? If we're talking the basics, ig 1% is fine. What would you change about your appearance if you could? Oh, hunny, you got time for an essay? What would you change about your bedroom if you could? I need to fucking finish decorating it... It's not finished by no fault but my own laziness. Are you rich or poor? We're definitely pretty poor. Are you double jointed? I don't think so. What's the most physically painful thing you've ever experienced? I once had a large infected cyst that had to be drained by applying pressure to it, and I swear to Christ I don't know how I didn't faint. They gave me morphine and multiple numbing shots, but none of that did SHIT. I'm not even embarrassed by the fact I was shrieking and sobbing and swearing because I'm pretty fucking sure any sane person would've cried out many times. I'm convinced they either didn't numb me enough for someone of my size back then, or I should've just gone under for it. I have no words for how painful it really was. Do you like shots? Uh, given that nobody LIKES getting a shot with a needle, I'm going to assume you mean like, taking shots of alcohol, in which case I've never tried, but I can almost absolutely guarantee you I'd hate them. I hate the taste of alcohol (hence why I only drink sweet and weak stuff), sooooo, I've got my doubts I'd enjoy something so potent. Are you afraid of spiders? Yes and no? Small ones don't tend to get to me, and I LOVE tarantulas. Big spiders are absolutely fascinating and I love *watching* them, but if I was surprised by a sudden spider, I'm going to probably cry out and jump/scramble away. But on a real note, respect your spiders, whether they scare you or not. They are so important to the ecosystem. See one in the house, take it outside if you can. Have you ever had an allergic reaction to something? To some earrings, yes. I have to wear ones that don't have silver in them. Do you like to read? Yeah, but not nearly as much as I did as a kid. I'm even slacking on WoF lately... Do you know what your purpose in life is? *SLAMS FISTS ON TABLE* BITCH I WISH I KNEW What's something you would like to improve at? Not being a socially anxious catastrophe. Do you believe you have great potential? Everybody does. You just have to use it. What is the most beautiful scenery you have ever beheld? Probably the mountains when driving to Tennessee. Or New York? I really can't recall either so clearly as to have a favorite. Are you flexible? Noooot anymore. Back in my WiiFit days, I was a gotdamn snake. List a song lyric that you like. Oh Jesus, don't make me think. Uhhhhh there's so many. Flipping through artists in my head with lyrics I tend to love, there's Otep with: "hey, hey, NRA, how many kids did you kill today?". Simple, but spine-chilling to me. Huh, time to listen to it actually, lol. That song murders me with the goosebumps. Do you meditate? No; I can't. You can't tell me to "free my mind," man. It's way too hectic at all times up there. What's one place you've been to that you want to visit again? I'd love to go back to Chicago one night when I actually learn how to do nighttime urban photography. What's one place you want to go that you've never visited before? I always answer "South Africa" to questions like this, so for variety's sake, I'll say the Bahamas. But a conspiratory bitch is afraid of the Bermuda Triangle, so... lmao. What's your favorite type of tree? I like big, impressive weeping willows. How many times have you seriously injured yourself? Only two occasions I can think of immediately. Maybe there's more, but idk. Did you attend Sunday School as a child? Yeah, even though I hated it. What is the longest your hair has ever been? Maybe a little passed the small of my back? What about the shortest? (not including being a toddler or baby): How it is now and has been for a couple years: shaved short on the left side, and it transitions to a length near my chin as you go to the right. Have you ever smoked a cigarette? No. Are/were you in the school band, and if so, what instrument did you play? I did, and I played the flute. I'd choose the saxophone if I could go back. Who does the grocery shopping in your household? Well, it's just Mom and me, so her. If you were to donate to charity today, what would you donate to? One that focuses on ovarian cancer for Mom. What is your favorite card game and when was the last time you played it? Even though I was never great at it or knew every single rule, "Magic: The Gathering" is honestly really fun, and I loved looking at the card art. I haven't played it since I was with Jason, so at least five-six years. Would you consider yourself to be good at spelling and grammar? Yeah, but I've somehow gotten worse with time???? I question the spelling and tenses of words I write a lot. What is your favourite seasonal candy? (only available at certain times): Probably like, chocolate rabbits. NOT hollow. Way to break my heart. Or gingerbread cookies. What was the last chocolate bar you ate? I think a Hershey's? It was a while ago. Who was the last person you talked to on Skype/video chat? I was in a Zoom session with multiple people for my partial hospitalization program. Have you ever dreamt about sleeping with someone other than your partner? If so, did that make you feel embarrassed? I've never had a dream like this while in a relationship. The last time you had butterflies in your stomach, what was the reason? I have no idea. Has anyone told you that they miss you recently? No. Has anyone ever asked you out or told you that they liked you, and you rejected them? Can you explain why you didn’t like, or didn’t feel attracted to that person? There was this one guy in the 4th grade who asked me if I would go out with him so much it almost became like a joke. I just... didn't like him like that. Then there's Juan; I'd just been warned that he had a bad rep by a very reliable adult, and the idea of dating him was kinda... intimidating anyway. Plus he was a smoker, which was and still is a no-no for me. What part in a movie would you love to play? The clinically insane villain or something because I feel with my history, I could channel that very well IF I actually wanted to act in the first place. What piece of furniture have you replaced the most? The couch. What’s the best part of your favorite movie? When Simba walks up Pride Rock in the rain and roars and all the lionesses join in. Chilling. What do you think is the most over-rated candy ever? Candy corn is repulsive. What was the highlight of your day? My mom was raving to one of my therapists in the PHP about my art and how badly she wants me to just get everything out there. I was smiling really big but looking down with how shy but also flattered it made me. Do you know anyone who is anorexic? I don't think so. Who has hurt you the most this year? Ha, myself. What's the last insult someone said to you? Hm. How much did your car cost? N/A What is the last picture you received on your phone of? Uhhh Mom mighta sent me a meme or Sara showed me a drawing someone made of Suriza, I think. Have you ever let someone go because you thought they deserved better? No, though I've felt that way before. Is there anybody you're really disappointed in right now? I'm still not over the fact Dad was a druggie before me and my sisters, apparently. It's almost like... hurtful in some weird way? Idk exactly why, it's just something I know I feel. What do you hear right now? I have Motionless In White's cover of "Somebody Told Me" playing in another tab. Do you do anything to help the environment? I do what I can as someone who isn't financially independent and reliant on another person for transportation. I won't litter for anything (and this includes shit like letting balloons go in the air, fucking stop), I'm trying to use my metal straw always in place of plastic, and to use less plastic bags, I try to spread out the times I clean Roman's litterbox to a few days; not to the point it's disgusting or uncomfortable for him, of course, though. Three days without is pretty much max. When's the last time you did something you knew was wrong? Ha, a little while ago... I was trying to avoid eating the two last biscuits Mom made for dinner 'cuz I really gotta lay off the carbs, but Mom "joked" that "it's your birthday, you get to do whatever you want," so I kinda just said fuck it lmao. Do you think that you have a pretty smile? No, because my eyes squint badly, and I also hate my teeth. When's the last time you cried over a guy? A few days ago a little bit, actually. I was reminiscing too much and recalling some of the warmest memories. Are you scared to lose the person you fell the hardest for? I already did. Oh well. Is there someone you wouldn't mind kissing right now? Yep. Do you have any friends that actually model? No. Do you care about the last person you kissed? A fucking lot. Do they care about you? Yes. Is there someone you wish you were with right now? Yes, just because of past birthday memories. I keep hoping a "happy birthday Britt" pops up in my FB messenger, and I hate myself for it. Have you ever imagined how it would feel kissing a certain someone? I legitimately just huffed in humor, guess, lmao. What are the bad things you've heard people say about you? That I'm a martyr, going nowhere, lazy, not trying hard enough, y'know, all that good stuff. Do you flirt a lot? Definitely not. What phrase or saying do you use the most? Probably "oof" lol. What mood are you in right now? I'm doing pretty all right. Kinda dreading Miss Tobey coming over, mean as it is, but I just... don't wanna deal with her and her judgments on my birthday. But I'm looking forward to seeing my sisters, and therapy went very well. Have you ever kissed someone that was high? No. Do you have a good relationship with your mother? Yep. How many exes do you have? I only consider two exes "serious," as I've only been in two deep and long-term relationships, but if we're counting everyone who's had the label of "boyfriend" or "girlfriend," there's six. Do you want to be single or with someone? Ugh, I don't know. It's probably better I don't 'til I figure my shit out, but I really do miss the companionship a lot. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? Because I love her and I was leaving her at the airport. Does your mom think you’re a virgin? She doesn't know for the same reason I don't, really. I think she leans towards I am, but idk. Is there someone that wants you to give them a second chance? I don't know. What size bra do you wear? Uhhh I genuinely don't buy bras enough to know this exactly. C-something. Does the person you last kissed still like you? I don't know if she still like-likes me. Are your parents still together? Noooo. Was your first time good or bad? I dated an Italian, if u kno what I mean. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Which friend-turned-enemy do you miss the most? Colleen, sometimes. Have you ever used an epi pen, and it worked? I have not. What is on your top priority list for today? Make this fuckin' day for me. I'm trying to not let the depression sink in and make me feel worthless on today of all days. So I'm trying to stay in a positive headspace. Do you own any sand art in a jar? Omg, those are so cool! But no. Does the sun come in your window in the morning or at night? Not really; there's houses in the way. What was the last piece of art you created? A drawing of a meerkat with its mouth open angrily, done with colored pencils, against a black background. It's on my second dA. What time of day do you take medications? I have prescription meds for when I wake up and at bedtime. What's your newest hobby you've started? A new hobby? Huh... What are some things you wanted to do that your parents didn't let you do? They wouldn't let us stay home alone until a certain age, we had a timer on the TV at bedtime to shut off after a while, we weren't exposed to certain music or shows, no cursing... stuff like that. What YouTube channels do you recommend? This is a BAD question to ask me, 'cuz I could just about recommend channels for just about any niche. I watch soooooo many. What is your favorite day of the week? Tuesday, because it's reset day in WoW, haha. Meaning, I get to do my stupid mount farming raids again for the week. Blackhand, gimme your FUCKING clefthoof already. Ballet or cheerleading? Ballet is beautiful. What are your favorite sports to watch? Only dancing, really. Were you ever in the marching band? No. Which holiday has the best decorations, in your opinion? My contrasting aesthetics make this hard, haha. I love Christmas with all the beautiful light displays people can make, but let's not sleep on Halloween, y'all. I loooove Halloween decor, like c'mon, that's where I get shit for my room year-round, lmao. What do you want to be known for? It'd actually be kinda cool if I built up some sort of rep in the vulture culture community with my photography of roadkill. For how few shots I actually have on there and minimal interaction, my Instagram for it is doing quite well, if you consider those factors. They've gotten some pretty decent attention on dA, too. I would love for people to know why I do it though, of course: awareness and respect for the animal's life. How often do you wear make-up? Almost never nowadays. Think of the person you are jealous of...what are you jealous of them for? She's actually making a career out of her photography. Do you have art that you made in high school? Oh, plenty. Do you have trauma in your past? *clears throat* take a fuckin seat Favorite type of frosting? Chocolate. Have you ever tried cake decorating? No. One of my sisters is actually one, though! She's great at it. What clubs are you a part of? None. What was your favorite book that you had to read for school? The Outsiders. 6th grade, to be exact. Do you like to read classics, or do you usually read new arrivals? I don't prefer one over the other, honestly. Were you a big partier in college? No, I never partied. Is your college one you would recommend? My most recent one, fuck yes. They're amazing and care so deeply for their students. Would you go camping in the woods alone? Yikes, no. Would you name your kids after anyone? If I had a son and I had my way with the name, he would be named after the Most Selfless Man in the World, Damien from WKM. :'''''( Do you have any supernatural gifts? No. Are there any good churches in your town? You're asking someone who has a bad relationship with religion. Do you want an indoor or outdoor wedding? It really depends on the season and venue my spouse and I pick. Do you think you would be a good salesperson? HEEEEEEEEEEEELL NAW fam. I ain't pressuring people to buy shit.

[broken-clover]

AU-gust Day 7- Childhood Friends

Taking a bit of a break from Guilty Gear, so today have a Blazblue fic! I know this probably makes no sense in canon for multiple reasons but that’s what an AU is for! So have some tiny Bang and tiny Amane being tiny dorks.

Bang was a very easy person to read. More often than not, one didn’t even have to really try. If he didn’t outright state his opinions or feelings on something, his overexaggerated body language gave him away. The same applied to his interests. Whenever he found something new and exciting, it would be all he talked about.

Tenjo had caught him staring on their way back from training. A traveling caravan was passing through Wadatsumi. She had approved them days ago. As long as they didn’t cause trouble and weren’t too disruptive, she let them come through and take a few days to rest and restock. Her apprentice appeared utterly enraptured at the sight, like he’d never seen anything like it before.

“What are you looking at, Bang?” Was it anything in particular? “Do you like their horses?”

“Sparkly!”

“Sparkly?” A significant number of the travelers did seem to be wearing very eye-catching ensembles, flowy skirts and gem-studded accessories. Tenjo herself did wear some rather extravagant clothing, but she preferred keeping the colors simple. Meanwhile, they dressed in every color of the rainbow and then some. She watched Bang grab at the air towards the procession as it passed them. “Do you like all the colors?”

“Uh-huh! Sparkly!”

She supposed that they could watch for a minute or two. They weren’t in any rush. It was nice to see something happy in her beautiful Wadatsumi, with all the political strife that had been cropping up lately, it was starting to feel like everything was doom and gloom. They could all use something to take their minds off of things, even if it was temporary.

“Ten-jo-sa-ma!” Bang chirped, pointing at something else. “What’s that!”

A man in a beautiful, elaborate outfit was pinning something to the local notice board. A thick stack of papers were taking up his other arm, so it wasn’t much of a surprise to see him rush off immediately to start chatting with a pair of passers-by and offer them another.

“Hmm? I don’t know. Let’s go take a look.” When the road was clear, the two of them crossed the street to get a better look. There were a few notices already put up, but the newest one stuck out like a sore thumb with its bright colors.

‘One Night Only!’ It announced, in elaborate writing. ‘Witness the beauty and grace of the Mikoto Dance Troupe! Be charmed by the stunning visual performance and melodies! Show begins at 8pm in Block 4. Free admission, donations encouraged!’

“A dancing show?” How odd. Those didn’t often come to Wadatsumi. She noticed her charge staring at the paper with bright eyes, bouncing up and down.

Had he ever seen something like this? He was a Wadatsumi native, it was unlikely a troupe had come through, and it didn’t seem probable his parents would take someone so young to another Hierarchical City for something like that. It had to be something new and interesting for him, no wonder he was so excited.

“Would you like to go to the show, Bang?” She asked. “You’ve already finished your training today, so we can go as a special treat, if you’d like.”

“We can??”

Tenjo chuckled. “Is that a yes, then?”

“YEAH!!”

++++++

“Woah…”

It seemed the festivities had attracted quite a lot of Wadatsumi’s inhabitants. She had already seen peasant farmers, politicians, and everything in between lined up to take a peek. A small crowd had already clustered around the entrance, and she could see people inside the performance area frantically carrying out more chairs to set up for their incoming audience.

“Are you alright, Bang?” She gave his hand a light squeeze. Tenjo knew he didn’t do well in crowds. In hindsight, she probably should have expected it, but all she could do now was give him as much patience as possible.

“Mmhm.” He nodded, with his face buried in his scarf to block out all the smells.

“Don’t worry, I promise it will be less crowded once we get inside.”

At least the man at the counter knew how to work fast. It didn’t take long for them to move up to the front. “Hello, ma’am! Two guests?”

“Yes.” Tenjo nodded. “Just a moment, Bang. Let me reach my pocket.” She let go of his hand, took a moment to be sure he wouldn’t immediately be swallowed up by the crowd, and dug into her robes in search of coin. Imperator or not, she could support small artists trying to make a living.

The man looked utterly dumbfounded at the pile of money she offered up. “Wow, th-thank you very much, ma’am! We appreciate your kindness!”

Had people not been donating? She hoped she hadn’t been the only person to do so. “Of course! Happy to help. May we head inside?”

“Absolutely!” He beckoned them to the gate. “Enjoy the show!”

“Thank you for being patient with me. Now we can- huh? Bang?”

When she looked down, he was nowhere to be seen. “Bang?!”

Her eyes tore around, trying to find the smallest hint of trailing red fabric. He may have been a burgeoning combatant and capable of fending for himself, she nonetheless felt anxiety pooling in her stomach.

“Ten-jo-sa-ma Ten-jo-sa-ma Ten-jo-”

Bang tried to peek out of the top of his scarf while still keeping it mushed over his nose. It had been too loud and smelly for him. Tenjo-sama had said that when he got overwhelmed, he should find a quiet place to sit until he felt better. There were a lot of tents over near the big wagons, and those seemed like a good place to hide. If he had a meltdown, then they would have to go home for the night, and he really wanted to see the pretty dancers!

One of the less-big tents across the lawn was already half-open, how lucky! He ducked inside and huddled in the corner.

“Ten-jo-sa-ma Ten-jo-sa-ma-” He mumbled to himself, rocking back and forth on his toes. It was way less crowded in the tent, and most of the bad smells had been replaced by a nice perfume. And thankfully, nobody interrupted his stimming until he started to feel a little bit more in control of himself.

“Hmm hmm, la da da~”

Bang’s ears perked up. Had someone been singing the whole time, and he had only just noticed it?

He stood back up and turned towards the sound. Part of the tent was closed off by another curtain, with light spilling out from behind. Curiously, he approached to peek out from behind.

“La-la-la-la, da-da-dum~”

A boy about his age was twirling around, clutching bright pink ribbons in his tiny fists. His dancing wasn’t as smooth or fancy as the other dancers, but it was probably the same reason he wasn’t as good at fighting as Tenjo-sama or Ka-gu-ra-nii. Kids weren’t usually the best at things, adults had lots more time to practice, so they were really good!

“La-la- oh!” On his next turn, Bang watched him trip and fall on the hem of his skirt. “Owie…”

It must have been a bad fall, because his eyes started pinching and tearing up. Or maybe he was sad he had messed up the dance? He did that sometimes when he messed up a parry or fell off the climbing wall, even when it didn’t hurt.

Well, Tenjo-sama said people got better at things when you encouraged them! Maybe that was just what this one needed to help cheer him up.

So he started to clap. “That was really good! Until the part where you tripped, but I do that all the time too!”

“-eek!” The boy shrieked, jumping back and dropping his ribbons. Why had he done that?

“That was really good!” He said again, in case he hadn’t heard. “You’re really good!”

That seemed to calm him down a little. “I thought you were Tsukiyomi-san.” He said, picking up his ribbons again. “She always yells at me for fooling around before the show.”

“Are you gonna dance up on the big stage?”

“Yeah-huh!” He replied, with a glint of eagerness in his eyes. “I just do small parts now, but when I get big they’re gonna let me do all the important dances!” The boy puffed out his chest, making the pale pink scarf he wore fluff around his head like a halo. “My name is Nishiki Amane. I’m gonna be super famous someday, so you’d better remember it!”

“A-ma-ne Nishi-ki-kun. A-ma-ne-kun.” He liked the way it rolled off his tongue. “A-ma-ne-kun.”

“Amane! That’s me! I’m gonna be so great, people will clap and cheer and throw flowers at me whenever I dance!”

“Mmm.” Bang tilted his head. “My scarf is cooler than yours.”

“What?!” Amane shouted back. “No it isn’t! Mine’s the cooler one! It’s pink! And it looks really pretty when I dance!”

“Nuh-uh!” Replied Bang, with a growing smirk. “Mine is red, and red is the best.”

“Oh yeah?” Just as quickly, Amane was grinning back. “Well if it’s so cool, then give it to me!”

The ninja took off to run around the room. “No way! It’s mine!”

“Not for long!” The other boy started chasing him in circles.

“It’s mine!”

“Gimme!”

“No!”

“Give- oof!”

The dizziness very quickly made them crash into one another and fall in a heap. The two boys sat back up, looked at one another, and burst into giggles.

“That was fun!” Bang crowed.

“I feel dizzy.” Amane began undoing the loops of his scarf. “Wanna try mine? Let’s swap!”

“Okay!”

Amane had to help him tie the knots right so the scarf went around his shoulders, and Bang helped him loop the thick red fabric around so it would fall down his back and flap behind him when he ran.

“Sparkly!” He did a little twirl, watching how the pink material practically hovered over him. “Amane-kun looks like a superhero!”

“You think so?” It looked weird with his fancy dress, but Amane looked perfectly pleased with his new accessory, twirling a little before pulling it back off and handing it over. “It’s a little too heavy to dance in, though.”

Bang hadn’t considered that. “Maybe that’s why I can’t dance good. You’re really good, can you show me how to dance?”

Amane untied the pink scarf off him and put it back on himself. “Tsukiyomi-san says 'dancers can’t be truly great unless they look their best.' So maybe if I do your makeup, you’ll be better at it!”

On the other side of the tent, there was a pretty wooden vanity with a mirror and bottles of all different things lined up on it. Amane climbed onto the chair and began rooting around. “I only get to wear lipstick during big shows, so that’s probably the best!”

He found a tube of something and popped it open. Bang watched in confused intrigue as Amane rubbed it on his own lips. Wherever he put it, they turned a bright shade of pink.

“This color’s my favorite!” Pursing his lips and turning his head back and forth let Amane look at his reflection in different ways.

“Ok ok!” Bang raised his arms toward him. “Do me now!”

“Hold on! Gotta test it and see if it’s dry first!”

“How do you do that?”

Instead of responding, Amane bent down to kiss him on the mouth. Bang felt something sticky rub off on his lips, making him reel back and swat at his face.

“Guess it wasn’t dry…” The dancer sighed unhappily. “What’s wrong?”

“Sticky! Your mouth is sticky! Boys aren’t supposed to kiss!”

“Why not?”

“Hmm…” Bang thought for a moment. He couldn’t think of a good answer. He kissed Amane back on the forehead. Then he didn’t have to worry about being sticky, though he did leave a little smear of pink on his face.

Amane beamed. “See? Boys can kiss other boys! Some of the bigger kids do it all the time.”

How interesting. Amane-kun seemed to know a lot of things. Bang liked learning from him!

“Amane?” Said a strange voice. “The show starts in fifteen minutes, are you-”

A woman bustled into the tent, tying her hair back. She seemed interested in Bang as soon as she saw him. “Ah! Are you little Bang?”

He tilted his head. “No.”

She paused, looking at him with confusion. “Oh. I’m looking for a boy your age, with a red scarf sort of like yours, have you seen him? His name is Bang.”

“Mmhm.” He nodded. “I’m Bang.”

That only confused her further. “But you just told me it wasn’t your name?”

“My name is just ‘Bang.’”

The woman smiled, though it really didn’t look like a smile. “Ah. Alright, smarty-pants, your chaperone is looking for you.”

He wasn’t sure what that meant. Amane was nice enough to explain. “Like, the person you came with. Did you come with your mom?”

“I came with Ten-jo-sa-ma.” He’d nearly forgotten about her! He had been so distracted by playing with Amane-kun. Hopefully she wouldn’t be mad.

At that very moment, Tenjo followed the woman into the tent. “Bang! I was so worried, are you alright?”

“Ten-jo-sa-ma!” He shouted, burying himself in her skirt. “It was too smelly, so I found a quiet place like you told me to!”

“That’s...yes, that’s very good of you, Bang.” She gave him a pat on the back. “But next time, please let me know before you do that, alright? I don’t want to lose track of you in such a crowded place.”

He nodded. “O-k! Look at my friend A-ma-ne-kun!”

“Oh?” Tenjo looked at the other boy. “I’m so happy to see you making friends, Bang! But the show is about to start soon, why don’t we let them get ready and find a place to sit?”

“She’s right!” The other woman started ushering Amane towards another tent. “You still have to change!”

“Bye-bye A-ma-ne-kun!” Bang waved as they departed.

Tenjo gave her apprentice a small smile as they headed towards. “Did you have fun playing?”

“Mmhm! A-ma-ne-kun is a real good dancer! He’s gonna dance up on the stage!”

“We’ll have to keep an eye out for him then, won’t we?” It was wonderful that he was making friends his own age. She noticed he didn’t have much interest in the concept. As much as she wanted him to explore and do as he pleased without being too smothered, it was a tad worrisome that he only seemed interested in talking to her or Kagura.

She felt Bang slipping from her grip. Oh no, this wasn’t going to happen again. “Bang, don’t run away!”

But he didn’t. Instead, she watched him calmly walk over to a bush of lilies and crouch. He carefully plucked a few flowers off their stems and bunched them together in his free hand.

“Bang? What are you doing? The show is about to start soon!”

After plucking a few more, he stood back up and followed. “Mmhm. O-k Ten-jo-sa-ma.”

“What are the flowers for?”

“They’re for A-ma-ne-kun! So I can throw em at him when he dances!”

Throwing them? That was a bit odd. Then again, Bang was a bit of an odd child. But as long as he was enjoying himself and wasn't causing any harm, she supposed it wasn’t a big deal.

[shsl-corn]

My part of

@danganhalloween-exchange for @magioftheseas

Some Kaede/ Naga!Miu, hope you like it.

[[MORE]]

“Apple slices cut into bunnies, just as you requested.” Kirumi Tojo announced, handing off the Tupperware container to Kaede.

Kaede smiled, she hated having to ask Kirumi for favours. But trying to slice these apples herself was proving less than successful given by the bandage on her finger. Give her a piano and some sheet music and she could play any song flawlessly and with the utmost confidence. Give her an apple, a knife and ask her to make bunny apples? Not worth losing a finger and her career over.

“Thank you, Kirumi,” she said, taking the container.

“It is no problem, if you need anything else please don’t hesitate to ask.”

After thanking Kirumi a second time and watching her walk off and disappear into the busy streets, leaving her surrounded by a sea of strangers. Kaede took a moment to look at the container, now just noticing the vast amount of apple slices stuffed into the clear container. Just how many apples did Kirumi end up cutting? She did tend to go overboard whenever it came to food, the times she and Shuichi had tea with her proved so. But she could always tell Kirumi she didn’t need to go to such lengths to-

“Yoink!”

It took Kaede a moment to register that the container of bunny apples was no longer in her hands.

“Huh? What the...”

Luckily the thief didn’t go too far and disappear into the crowded streets. In fact, he was standing in front of her with his usual cheeky grin.

“Oh! What are these?” Kokichi asked, opening up the container. “Bunny apples?”

“Kokichi, those aren’t for you,” she said sternly through gritting teeth.

“Who are these for? You got a boyfriend or girlfriend now?” he gave an overdramatic sad pout. “Does that mean you’re gonna forget all about me?”

Having known Kokichi for a long time, Kaede wasn’t fooled one bit by his act.

“That’s a lie, isn’t it?”

Kokichi’s pout instantly turned into a big grin. “Yup, it’s definitely a lie!” he announced. “Man, you’re getting good. I might have to think of harder lies.” Kokichi fished an apple slice out of the container and took a big bite of one. “I don’t mind, I loooove a challenge,” he said while crunching the apple in his mouth.

“Can I please have them back?” Kaede requested, arms crossed with a frown plastered on her face.

“Maaaaaybe.” Kokichi teased and popped the remaining bunny apple in his mouth. “Tell me who there for first. You know I’m nosy,” he demanded and fished a second slice out and noisily chewed.

“There for a friend,” Kaede said, managing to quickly snatch the container away from him.

“Really?” Kokichi looked unimpressed. “THAT’S the best lie you can come up with?” he frowned. “I expected better from you, Kaede. Well, whatever. I’m bored, I’m gonna find something fun to do.”

Kaede let out a sigh of relief as she watched Kokichi disappear into the crowd. She returned her sights to the bunny apples, even with a Kokichi snacking on a few there were still more than enough. She took a look at her watch, making sure she wouldn’t be late for her bus.

....

Three buses, a long walk and brief hike in the crisp autumn woods, Kaede stood before the cave. It was dark, without any light to guide the way.

“Miu?” Kaede called, waiting for a response but nothing. She let out an annoyed sigh. “Miu, I bought you something,” she called again, giving the container a shake.

Sure enough, the sound of something stirring in the deepest depths of the cave could be heard. Normally this would scare anyone, but not Kaede. She had done this once a week so far for at least a year, she knew what to expect.

Eventually the sound grew closer and closer, and sure enough, there was Miu. At first glance, she looked like an everyday woman, at least until she was fully out of her cave. She had a pale complexion with a head of flowing blond hair, but once you got a closer look at the upper half of her body, her vibrate blue eyes had black slits for pupils and two pearly white sharp fangs protruded from her upper lip. And that was just the upper half of her body. From below the waist in place of where a pair of legs should have been, was an incredibly long and scaly dark green tail.

She first met Miu last fall, during a costume party with a few of her friends. They decided to take a quick walk with all the sugary energy they had gotten from snacking on the cakes, cookies and other desserts Kirumi made. They stumbled across this cave and first caught sight of Miu. Her friends screamed and ran away, but Kaede did not. Being ever so curious she found herself staring in awe at such a creature and even more so when she learned she was a real naga as opposed to some elaborate decoration or costume.

Miu grinned and immediately swiped the container greedily away from Kaede. “No fucking way! You actually remembered with that pea-sized brain of yours!”

Kaede pouted. “A thank you would be nice.”

Miu wasn’t listening, she was too wrapped up in opening up the container and inspecting an apple slice. “Don’t get how these are supposed to look like bunnies.”

“It’s the way the skin is cut, it’s supposed to look like bunny ears,” she explained.

“Hmmm, I still don’t see it.” Miu shrugged and popped the slice in her mouth. “Meh, real rabbit tastes better too. But I’ll give you points for bringing these to show me.”

“Thanks, I think?” she blinked, guessing that was Miu’s weird little way of thanking her.

“Oh! Did you bring the other thing too?” Miu asked, stuffing another apple slice in her mouth.

“Of course I did.” Kaede reached into her bag and fished out a portable DVD player.

Miu’s eyes sparkled as she slithered closer to her. “Oh thank fuck, I was worried you forgotten!”

“I bring it every time I visit,” Kaede said, setting the DVD player on a tree stump.

It surprised Kaede that a naga of all things liked children’s tv shows, but she wasn’t going to complain. She had a bunch of DVDs from her childhood her parents took to keep her boredom at bay whenever she had to endure a long car drive or flight. Miu was lucky she forgot to get around to donating the portable DVD player and all the movies and cartoons she had along with it.

“Well, hurry up and put it on!” Miu urged, slithering closer to the device eagerly.

“Impatient as always...” Kaede muttered, extending a digit to push the button and turn on the DVD player.

“Hey, what happened to your finger?” Miu asked, gesturing to the tiny little bandage wrapped around her digit.

“Oh, this? I accidentally cut my finger while trying to cut those apples,” she explained. “After that, I figured I should just get someone else to cut them for me.”

“Thought you avoided anything that could hurt your fingers?”

“Well yes, but you said you wanted to see bunny apples so I’ve made an attempt. Luckily it’s just a small cut and should heal up quickly.”

“Wow, you seriously risked chopping off your finger and ruining your whole pianist career for a few cruddy apple slices? Damn, no wonder I’m the smart one!” she crackled.

Kaede huffed, tempted to point out Miu had eaten nearly half of the apples at this point. But she decided against it, for now, she just focused on starting up the film for Miu.

They were halfway through the movie when Kaede felt it. It was a few harmless raindrops, but within seconds it escalated into a heavy downpour.

“Ah, of all the times I don’t check the weather!” Kaede quickly swiped up the portable DVD player and stashed it in her bag, hoping there wasn’t any damage from its brief time out in the rain.

She glanced at the cave, clutching her bag Kaede made a dash to the cave’s entrance... or at least that was the plan.

“Oof!” she grunted as she fell face-first into the wet and grassy ground. Kaede groaned and carefully lifted her face off the ground, just now realizing Miu had part of her tail wrapped around her ankle. “What was that for?!” she demanded and tried to shake her ankle free from Miu’s grasp.

“You can’t in my cave!”

“Why not?”

“Ge-genius inventor reasons... someone like you wouldn’t understand.”

“Miu, it’s down pouring, just let me stay until the rain stops.”

“I-I can’t!” she shook her head.

She lifted Kaede into the air, leaving her dangling by her ankles and making her very thankful she wore pants today.

“Miu!” Kaede hissed.

“I-I gotta go!” she loosen her grip on Kaede, letting her fall to the ground before slithering off into her cave.

Kaede huffed and peeled her face off of the ground yet again. The already present frown on her face grew as she got up, not pleased she was soaking wet at this point.

She stared at the cave’s entrance, no way was she going to sit around and make the journey back home in this weather. Regardless of what Miu said, she was determined to enter the cave. She stood up and made her way over, taking the first step inside. It was dark, so Kaede took out her phone and used it as a light to see her way through the cave’s darkness.

The cave was dark and deep, much deeper than she originally guessed it was. It just made her all the more thankful she charged her phone prior to coming here, she was doubtful a low phone battery was going to be enough to get her in and out of this cave.

After what felt like forever walking deeper into the depths of the cave, a wave of relief washed over Kaede as she caught sight of dim orange light at the end of the tunnel. She shut her phone off and made her way towards the light source.

At the end of the cave’s long and dark tunnel was a fire. The light helped her get a better view of what exactly was at the end.

The end of the tunnel was filled with lots of little knickknacks, some Kaede could easily identify as being stuff she bought Miu from past visits. As well as a workbench that was littered with little tools. And there were a few posters hung on the cave’s wall, another gift Kaede had gotten Miu despite never being in her cave. At least until now...

But out of every item there, the thing that piqued her curiosity the most was something large and covered with a dull grey sheet. Kaede took a step closer, reaching out for it. But for the third time today, she found herself falling face first and for the second time, there was Miu’s green scaly tail wrapped around her ankles.

“What the fuck are you doing?!” Miu hissed at her.

Kaede gulped nervously, but rather than back down she made the choice to stand her ground.

“It’s down-pouring outside, it’s a long trip here and back. I’m not waiting out in the rain when you have more than enough space in this cave,” she stated firmly.

“B-but...you can’t!” she stuttered, her tail loosening around Kaede’s ankle.

“Why not?”

“You just can’t!”

Kaede huffed and stood up, taking a moment to brush the dirt off herself.

“And what’s this?”

She made her way over to whatever the sheet was keeping hidden. Without any hesitation, she grabbed hold of the cloth.

“No, wait!”

But Miu’s pleas fell on deaf ears, and before the naga had a chance to react or stop Kaede, the pianist yanked the sheet, revealing what it was hiding.

Underneath the sheet was a piano, a very dull pink one with pearly white keys. Kaede could only stare in awe, before taking a moment to blink and look at Miu.

“A piano?”

“Duh, of course, it is!” Miu snarled. “You’re a goddamn pianist, you should know what a piano looks like!”

“That’s not what I mean.” Kaede huff, taking a moment to brush some stray locks of her blond hair out of her face. “What I want to know was this the reason you didn’t want me in your cave?”

Miu’s cheeks flush pink as she glanced away, anxiously twirling a lock of hair around her finger. “Yeah... a-all you talk about is the damn piano so I figured...” she cleared her throat and regain her composure. “If you were too damn lazy to bring a piano-“

“Miu, how many times do I have to tell you...” she took a deep breath and pressed her hands against each other before pointing them at Miu. “It’s impossible for me to haul a piano up here!”

“Not with that attitude.” Miu scoffed. “God, are all human so pathetic? If you just bought one I wouldn’t have had to make one myself.”

Kaede rolled her eyes. “You still didn’t answer my question.”

“Uh... I... well you go on and on about pianos and shit, and well...” Miu shifted in her spot. “And I wanted to hear it, you’re either actually really good or stupidly cocky!”

“If you wanted to hear me play, you could have just asked. I have recordings of my performances.”

“It’s not the same, how do I know it’s not edited to shit or something?” Miu crosses her arms. “Or what if the piano is self-playing?”

Kaede didn’t buy that for a second, having known Miu for so long she knew better than to believe that. It was easy to piece together what her real motive was. Miu simply desired to hear her play in person but was too nervous to ask. It was tempting to call her out, but Kaede felt she would get a better outcome if she played along. Plus Kaede could never say no to playing a song or two.

“Fine, I’ll play and prove it to you,” she spoke, making her way over to the piano. “Do you have a stool?”

“Gee, are all humans lazy too?” Miu huffed. “Here,” she slithered over. “just sit your lazy ass on me.” she gestured to the lower half of her body.

Kaede rolled her eyes but decided to just do as Miu suggested and gently sat on part of her scaly tail and began to play. Considering it was fall and they were still well into October, she settled on playing a few Halloween songs on the piano, ranging from themes to classic horror movies to more upbeat and cheerful Halloween melodies.

She lost track of time, but by the time she played the last song she knew by heart, her fingers were begging for a break. Kaede lifted her gaze from the keys and glanced at Miu, who remained staring in an amazed trance before she eventually snapped out of it.

“That was....” Miu blinked before clearing her throat. “Alright, I guess. I mean, I did make that piano so naturally, it would make you sound amazing!” she boasted.

Kaede let out a loud sigh, of course. She shouldn’t have expected anything less coming from Miu, she knew the truth about how Miu really felt and exactly what to say.

“Well if you don’t like it, I guess I don’t have to play it again.”

“I-I’ve never said that!” she stuttered.

She couldn’t help but laugh, that was Miu for you. “I’ll bring some sheet music next time, would you like that?”

“And those bunny apples?”

Kaede fought the urge to roll her eyes. “Of course.”

[freakie-deakie]

Chan // Better Without

I know Hastings closed down but it was my favorite store, okay? Oof, I know cheating is a touchy subject, read at your own risk

Masterlist

Bang Chan x Reader (angst oneshot)

When you walk into a club, what do you think radiates off the crowd inside? What smells, emotions, and colors do you think would stand out and persuade you into sharing with the people that surrounding you. Is it fun? Does it smell like sweat and spilled alcohol from people that were dancing too hard? Does it look like neon lights on a sea of black?

It's none of those things and more.

What you should know about clubs is that they feel like haziness and regret, they smell like bitter whiskey and sex, and they look like a crowd of people desperate to get off but with standards that they themselves could never live up to.

You'd been to The Harley Ride many times with your girlfriends when you were in college, and maybe then it was fun, or maybe you were just too wasted to tell that it wasn't, but it was less cold then than it grew to be in the present. You hadn't been back in years. You weren't there tonight. You were reading a copy of The Clan of the Cave Bear, another paperback set to rest on your thigh, your senses being filled by vellichor inside your local Hastings. You'd donated your old books, selected a new one and made a home for yourself on the couch of the bookstore, and been brought a free coffee by the old lady working the small café that resided in the cramped shop. It was Friday night, and most found more interest in more engaging activities than reading, which meant you basically had the whole store to yourself.

Though you were sitting in a cozy comfort, your long term significant other was in the midst of The Harley, dancing to the loud base with a couple of his boys as he tossed a burning drink to the back of his throat, wincing as it went down. It was probably his fourth shot or so in a row, not anywhere near enough to seriously play with his mind or knock him on his ass. He still felt it, though. He felt the room wobbling beneath him ever so slightly and the lights burning his eyes just a bit. To him, it felt great.

One of his friends called him closer to the live band. The closer he approached, the more tightly packed the crowd was, but he managed to wiggle through.

Chan let out a holler as Kunpimook handed him another drink, which he downed quickly.

A girl slipped his arm around his waste and held him close. She was drunk enough to find licking up the side of his glass appealing, and he was drunk enough to agree. He handed his glass back to BamBam when her lips met his neck and he held her by the hip as he escorted her off the dance floor, receiving a thumbs up from his friends.

There was a storage room behind the stage that he knew was never used by anyone except the musicians whenever they arrived to set up their stage and take it down.

"What's your name?" he breathed before smashing her against the wall shared by the stage and pressing his lips against hers, one hand moving to fumble with his belt. The thundering music on the other side of the wall sent vibrations through her back that drove the man wild.

She answered weakly. "But tonight I'm yours." In any other place he would have cringed at that, but his mind was really centered on getting his dick wet so he rolled with it.

"Well, then you should be able to take what I give you, huh?"

•

You finished off your coffee some time ago, and had put your book down long enough to banter with the old lady that cleaned the seemingly spotless installed café. What started as idle chat grew to much more interesting conversations, as the lady found joy in you being entertained by her stories.

"When I was a young girl, I played on a soft ball team in America. I was smaller then, proportioned more like yourself; just look what the years have done to me," she chuckled at her own self-deprecation and you laughed because you thought only your generation did that. You were sure to interrupt her with a small compliment about her looks before she continued. "My English wasn't great then. Most people were still nice to me, but there was this one girl named Patty brown who wasn't fond f me at all. One day, during practice, I was behind her while she was batting, and she threw the bat at me so hard it broke my ankle, but she made it look like an accident. We didn't have phones back then, so my friend Darlene had to run to the hospital to tell someone I needed help because no one at that school had a car. The hospital was a mile or so away. I ended up having to have an operation done in my foot. I loved that game, and that team, but parts of that team didn't love me back. I quit, and even though I never thought I would, I found something better for myself that I grew to love even more: cooking. I went into the culinary arts and they took me globe trotting and I was happy with them. I probably wouldn't have found that if I hadn't left that team."

Your smile fell at what she was trying to tell you. She was telling you to let go of the things that hurt you and do better for yourself. It was advice you felt like you really needed to hear lately.

"But what if you had stayed because you loved it? Patty would have eventually not bothered you, right?"

She smiled at you, setting the cup in her hands to the side. "I don't know. Maybe?" She pondered. "Maybe not. There's always a 'what if' in every situation. I did what I thought was best for myself, and I believe I'm stronger because I did."

You exchanged stories with her until her shift ended and the store closed. Before she left, she made you a tea to help you sleep, and wished you a good night. You made a mental note to visit her in the shop again sometime.

You wondered home slowly, venturing through as many detours as you could on your way. You knew Chan had gone out with his friends and you were in no particular hurry to get back to an empty apartment. When you did, finally reach home, you heated your new tea and curled up on your side of the bed with your new book. You'd read it before, but it was a fantastic work that you'd revisit time and time again throughout your life.

•

Chan's eye lazily popped open. He took in his surroundings before humming in contentment and sitting up. His clothes were discarded on the floor and the blinds were drawn to prevent all but a few beams of sunlight from getting in. There was no one else in the room.

He pulled his clothing on, one article at a time. He ran his fingers through his hair and looked back at the unmade bed, member daring to harden again at the thought of the sins that took place there the previous night. He found the girl's number scribbled on a piece of paper on the desk and stuck it in the back pocket of his tight jeans.

And then he thought about it. He considered how he had left you at home last night, and how you did the laundry for him without him even asking.

He added the number as a contact in his phone and discarded the paper slip. He'd rather you never found out about the events of his night or the girl with which he shared a bed, and he knew you respected him enough to not go through his phone like some jealous girlfriend. He wanted to keep you safe from the hurt that might come upon discovering his unfaithfulness. Little did he know that you were well aware of what he was up to.

He made his journey home quick, wanting to spend the entire day with you. He knew you were probably up late, knowing that you usually didn't go to bed unless he made you because you could never seem to put down your books at earthly times, but that was okay because he was more than alright with early morning cuddles.

He slipped into your bedroom as quietly as he could to find you under a thin fuzzy blanket, your small form wrapped around a book he was sure he'd seen you with before.

He took a moment to feel guilty. He felt like he had the world in his hands- a fairly secure job as a musician, amazing friends, a loving girlfriend who he cherished, as much pussy as he wanted- but the means of how he obtained all of those things at once was dishonest and unfair to you.

He crawled into the bed with you, wrapping his arms around your sleeping form.

You stirred awake, and in seeing that it was your loved one, you snuggled closer to him.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love you too," you answered sleepily. He smiled, nestling his face into your hair and taking a deep breath. Compared to the club, and compared to the hotel, you smelled like sweetness and cleanliness. Like rose power and a soft Kate Spade perfume.

You only slept for another couple of hours before your mind decided it had seen nothing but darkness for too long.

But when you came to, your eyes didn't open. Instead, you pondered the situation you knew you were in. It was the same situation you found yourself in every time you spent the previous night alone.

Just like always, you didn't move. You could have gotten up, told him what you know, and walked away, or done what you normally do and cuddle closer into his embrace.

You were finding it harder to do the later these days. You'd never even attempted the previous option, but you usually pondered it before deciding you loved him enough to forget what he had done.

"Chan?" you whispered. His eyes fluttered open to meet yours and he hummed in answer. You ran your options in your head about what you would say next. "You smell like alcohol," you forced yourself to laugh out.

His smile stretched across his cheeks. "Wanna come shower with me?" You nodded, choosing to once again ignore the scandals that went on behind your back.

•

The day was spent in his embrace. Your favorite movies, your favorite meals and snacks, your favorite boy. It was almost perfect.

"Y/N? Woojin questioned. "Why are you here so late?" He still lived within the dorms of the band that Chan lead, which rarely had visitors. When your eyes glazed over with tears, he pulled you inside and rested you in the couch between himself and Minho, who held you close upon seeing your pathetic state.

"Did he hurt you?" Minho asked. You felt his arms tense around you protectively. You shook your head, but leaned against him.

"Did you guys go with him last night?" you moped.

"We hardly see Chan outside of practice anymore," Minho answers honestly. "He spends most of his time with you nowdays."

Woojin patted your back as you pulled away from Minho to speak more clearly. They wrapped you in a blanket and the only other occupant of the room, Changbin, brought you tea before you could even blink.

"He's cheating on me," you sighed, a few tears landing dangerously close to your cup. You ungracefully wiped your cheek with your sleeve. "I've known for a while, I just wanted to be sure that you guys weren't in on it. Bro-code and shit, ya' know?"

Minho gave you a look of disbelief. "How could you say that so bluntly? What do you mean he's cheating on you? Are you sure?"

You explained the things you found in your room, around his car, the weird marks on him, that time he drunkenly gave your number to one of his partners. "I know of two definite times when I found them in our room, and I left and pretended I was gone for a longer time. I just feel stupid. I don't really know what to do."

You played with Minho's fingers. He had been one of your best friends since highschool when he was your annoying seatmate.

"Holy shit, Y/N, you are being stupid. Why are you still with him if you caught him in the act?" he almost yelled.

"It's his apartment too; I mean he pays most the rent. Where would I go? And..." They waited for you to continue. "And I love him to much to let him go. And I think he still loves me. He doesn't know that I know, he's not blatant about it-"

"Which means he's lying to you which makes it even worse. He doesn't even have the balls to apologise."

Changbin cuts in before he can continue. "And he keeps doing it? That's not love. He might want you, but he clearly doesn't care about you in the same way you care about him."

Woojin glared at Changbin for his harsh choice of words but all you did was nod and sadly sip your tea.

"I don't want to go home," you said smally.

"You don't have to go alone," Minho soothed. "I can go with you, if you want?'

"Or," Woojin offered, "you can stay here and a couple of us can get your stuff."

The entire reason you hadn't spoken with Chan was because you hated conflict. You hated seeing people mad, at each other, but especially at you. But you'd rather take the heat for someone else, especially to prevent problems between friends.

"I think I should just go back and talk to him," you suggested. Changbin wanted to interject, tell you they weren't letting you stay over there, but they all knew you wouldn't accept there help. You had always been to stubborn to accept anyone's help, and in a way, that aspect made you strong.

"Text us tonight so we know you're safe," Minho said.

"It's not like he would hurt me," you countered.

"It doesn't matter. Just for our own sanity, please just let us know. And if you decide you want to leave, let one of us know and we'll come get you, yeah?"

You pursed your lips and thanked them, reassuring them that you would send them a message of your well-being.

And so you made the journey home, as slowly as you could with as many detours as possible, in no hurry to get back to your occupied apartment.

You unlocked the doors with your key copy and slid it back into your purse. As soon as Chan heard the squeak of the hinges, he left the kitchen to greet you, but not before pulling everything off of the heat. He pecked both of your cheeks before mentioning that he was making gnocchi for dinner. You hummed, following him into the kitchen and sitting at the counter while he worked. You turned from side to side on the barstool and stared intensely at the counter.

"So you know I went to see the boy's, right?" you asked after an elongated period of silence, filled only by the simmer from the stainless steel pan.

"And how were they?" Chan asks in his thick Australian accent.

"They were good.." you trailed off. "I went to them for some advice about something. And it's something that I think they're right about but I wish they weren't."

"Well, what did you ask them about? I'm sure I can help you." You watched his hands work above the stove. You waited until he put down the metal spatula to answer. It's not that you thought he would hurt you, but you wanted to lessen the possibilities as best as possible.

"Chan," you swallowed, "I know where you were last night. At least, I have a pretty good idea."

His body stiffened. "Yeah," he responds, "I let you know I was going to Harley with Bam."

You stared at the cooking utensil again as you formulated your answer, your voice growing tinier by the word. "Yeah but, that's not all you did was is?"

"What are you on about?" he questions in an invisible nervous sweat. "You really don't trust me to be where I told you I was gonna be?"

You shrunk on the bar stool. "I might be wrong," you said weakly, "this time. Maybe you weren't with anyone, but I'm not completely dumb. I know you've been with other girls in the past." Your voice cracked as you neared the end of your sentence.

"You know you're not my first girlfriend. You always knew about me being with other girls."

"I mean, while-" you couldn't finish you sentence, only laying your head down on the cool countertop and letting a few silent tears fall. Your  shaking hands played with each other in your lap, keeping you distracted from that feeling of reality that reassured you life wasn't always sunshine and rainbows.

Chan didn't move.

You didn't move.

It was still for a moment.

Chan turned back to his cooking, and you set your head on your chin so you could watch him through your puffy eyes.

"Please don't think about other girls, okay? I only love you."

You squeaked another incoherent word before deciding that it wasn't worth saying anything.

He dishes the gnocchi into bowls and fetched your favorite drink but when he turned back to you was when he felt his heart rip. A pain pulsed from his heart to his fingertips and he set the glasses down on the table.

"Y/N.." he tried. You ignored him. "Y/N, what's wrong."

"How long have we been together?" you ask him.

"A few years," he calculates. "Why?"

"How many times did you..." Yet again you couldn't bring yourself to ask. "Why did you..." You were trying everything to get it out. You felt helpless, pathetic, small.

"Use your words, baby," he suggests. He knows where this is going. In a weird way, he needs to hear you say that you know. He needs to know that his actions hurt you to this point in order to never do them again. He needs to learn from the mistake that hurt his precious baby, darling, honey, and love.

"Why did you lie to me? Why do you lie to me?"

He sighs, rubbing your back. "What have I lied to you about?"

You stifled a cry with your hand. "Why do you cheat of me? What did I do wrong? What can I fix? What can I do to make you love me back?" you sob into your own hand, your other running through your hair. It was an ugly cry, your face reddening and snot building in your nose.

And what struck him most out of what you'd said was not that you knew, but that you blamed yourself like your own lacking drove him to want to be with other women. It was, in fact, his lacking as a man that kept him from being loyal.

"I'm sorry," he said, pulling himself aways from you, knowing he didn't have the right to come within a foot of you at the moment. For the first time in a long time, he felt grossed out by himself.

He no longer had it all.

"I'm sorry," you mimicked honestly. "If I had been better-"

"If you had been any more perfect, I would have only been worse." He sets the bowl of gnocchi he made for you in front of you, your drink beside it. You watch him as he moves around the tiny home you'd made for yourselves.

"No, no," you try and stop him from picking up his belongings, "Chan, no. I'll go. The boys wanted me to come back anyways, I'll just-"

"You're not the one who did wrong. You're not the one who deserves to leave." He tucks a shirt from the laundry into his bag. "I know you probably don't feel like it right now, but make sure you eat, okay? And make sure you go to sleep on time." He almost kicks himself when he mentally makes more instructions for you to take care of yourself, but he realizes he has no right to tell you what to do, or what's in your best interest.

He locks the door behind him, and leaves to find the closest hotel.

You sent the boys a quick message, one that you owed on a promise.

-

Oldest Dorm Monkeys

Y/N: I'm okay