#no one was making them do that. it just never occurred to them that they could create fat characters that aren't stereotypes

[mysteryshoptls]

SSR Deuce Spade - Platinum Jacket Vignette

[Land of Dawning – National Museum of Art]

Deuce: This museum really has a ton of paintings. Not that I really know how to act in quiet places like this…

Deuce: Oh, but I can't use that as an excuse. I'll have to be a good supporter for the museum, just like any honor student would!

???: Is this dome… a teapot cover? Why would the Card Soldiers be carrying tea?

Deuce: Huh, you don't know, Sebek? Cool, then I'll tell you about it.

Deuce: This painting shows a scene of a trial from one of the Queen of Hearts' legends…

Deuce: And those Card Soldiers aren't actually carrying tea, but a witness for the case: a tiny mouse!

Sebek: Hmph, what's with that smug look? Well, fine, never thought there'd be a day that you'd have something to teach me, I suppose.

Deuce: Heheh. I'm a supporter for the museum, so it makes sense that I can explain something like that.

Deuce: Since I'm a student of Heartslabyul, I made sure to study extra hard all the tales related to the Queen of Hearts or her Card Soldiers.

Sebek: Is that so? Still, did it require two of them to transport a single small mouse?

Deuce: According to the story, it was a crucial witness, so they wanted to make sure it got to the Queen safely.

Deuce: Ah, that reminds me… We had something similar to this painting go down at Heartslabyul just the other day.

Deuce: Though, it wasn't a witness that was getting brought in…

Sebek: What, was there some lout breaking the Queen of Hearts' laws?

Deuce: Yeah. There was this one student who'd been breaking the rules over and over again, and he was finally being brought before Rosehearts-ryōchō for a stern reprimand…

Deuce: When the two guys tasked with hauling him in came to bring him to the Housewarden, that rule-breaker ran.

Sebek: Why do you even have people tasked with hauling others in…? You folk in Heartslabyul have far too many strange duties and rules!

Sebek: But that transgressor is also a coward, fearing reprimand and fleeing without taking responsibility for their actions.

Deuce: Right? He made his bed, he's gotta lie in it.

Sebek: Judging by your manner of speech there, am I right to assume that you helped to secure that transgressor?

Deuce: Yeah. I ran after the guy and caught him in a flash.

Deuce: Not like I've been training my legs or working on quick, explosive power in my sprints while in the Track and Field Club for nothing!

Sebek: Oho, so you captured them. And what were those two that were supposed to have brought him in doing?

Deuce: The guys on duty were apparently so shocked when the rule-breaker ran away that they couldn't move quick enough.

Deuce: But once I brought him back to them, they firmly took hold of him on both sides and brought him to the Housewarden, though.

Sebek: I see. So perhaps the reason why it isn't considered overkill to have two people on duty for such a thing is in case something unexpected occurs.

Deuce: Maybe…? I guess so.

Deuce: Ah, but listen to this. After he finished reprimanding the rule-breaker, Rosehearts-ryōchō praised me for a job well done.

Deuce: "Not only did you capture the transgressor without a moment's delay, but you showed good judgement in allowing the students on duty to do their job as assigned," he said!

Sebek: True, normally you'd do something brash like bringing that offending student directly to Riddle-senpai after capturing him.

Sebek: An unusually calm and mature judgement, coming from you.

Deuce: Hey, nothing "unusual" about it! It's not strange that I was able to think that through.

Deuce: Because, I'm on my way to becoming an honor student!

[Land of Dawning – National Museum of Art]

Sebek: Oh, this painting… It looks as though it's based on the legend that speaking a wish into a well would make it come true.

Deuce: Yeah, so if you make a wish into a well, it sends your voice back out. I remember that well, 'cause I always thought that was odd.

Sebek: It's merely an echo. What is so odd about that?

Deuce: Huh, an echo?

Sebek: You didn't even know that? I'm speaking of the phenomenon in which sound bounces off of water or walls and is reflected back.

Deuce: Huh… Oh, so is that the same sort of thing as when sounds reverberate in a tunnel?

Sebek: That's right, as tunnels are also primed for echoes.

Deuce: Oh, okay… That actually brings back memories.

Deuce: Whenever I'd be riding through long tunnels, I'd put the pedal to the metal and rev it up so loud.

Sebek: You'd rev what? Are you talking about some kind of music?

Deuce: No, no. I'm talking about a blastcycle, not any instruments or whatever.

Deuce: The engine can make different sounds based on the body of the blastcycle, or even from the way it's ridden.

Deuce: It can make heavy thumping sounds, or low, rolling sounds…

Deuce: And it can be really fun to change up my driving style just to hear those different sounds.

Deuce: Whenever I ended up alongside another driver who knew how to make their own engine sing,

Deuce: It was easy to just end up competing to see who could make their engine rev louder.

Sebek: And what is so fun about that? It just seems to be a cacophony of noise, based on what you're saying.

Deuce: YOU DON'T GET IT AT ALL! It's great because I can feel it to my core.

Deuce: And, it feels sooooo amazing to feel the vibration of the engine echoing off the tunnel walls!

Deuce: AND PICKING UP SPEED IS THE BEST PART!

Deuce: The faster I go, the higher the pitch of the engine…the more that sound echoes in the tunnels…

Deuce: By the end of it all, the only sound I can hear is the blastcycle engine… I just can't get enough of that feeling!

Sebek: Shh, Deuce. You're being too loud, lower your voice. You're going to bother everyone else trying to enjoy the silence.

Deuce: Ah, sorry… Actually, kinda feels weird to get told by you of all people to lower my voice.

Sebek: Why is that? I don’t raise my voice like that unnecessarily.

Deuce: Eh… You seriously saying that right now?

Sebek: Obviously. At any rate, I don't really understand what you were saying about those blastcycles, but…

Sebek: You shouldn't cause a ruckus while riding, unlike what you did just now.

Deuce: Well, obviously I try to ride so I don't bother others on the road… At least, now I do…

[Land of Dawning – National Museum of Art]

Deuce: Oh hey, it's the Lord of the Underworld. I like how brave he looks flying through the sky in this painting.

Deuce: And on top of it all… He's way too cool, rushing to the front lines like that to save his captured comrades!

Sebek: Right. The Lord of the Underworld must have been a truly capable fellow, able to take on even the most difficult missions by himself.

Sebek: One would require proper deliberation and competency to achieve positive results.

Deuce: Urgh… That hits a sore spot…

Sebek: A sore spot…? Ah, you are talking about what happened last week.

Sebek: I remember seeing you, Grim, [Yuu]… and Ace, if I recall. It was while I was heading back from flight class.

Sebek: All four of you were standing like idiots in the hallway, being scolded by Trein-sensei.

Deuce: URGH!!!! You saw that!?

Deuce: I-I didn't plan on it ending with us getting in trouble! It wasn't supposed to end like that…

Sebek: I'm sure it is a ridiculous story… But why not, I'll listen to whatever excuses you come up with.

Deuce: At the start of History of Magic class, Trein-sensei told [Yuu] to read out loud a passage from the textbook.

Deuce: But that page was completely ruined by drool, since Grim fell asleep on it the night before, so it was impossible to read.

Deuce: So, I raised my hand, offering to read it instead.

Sebek: So why did that end up with you all being sent out to the hallway?

Deuce: …I forg… …xtboo…

Sebek: I can't hear you, speak up.

Deuce: I… I'M SAYING I FORGOT THE NECESSARY TEXTBOOK!!!!

Sebek: So you tried to step up, even though you didn't have the textbook… You're a fool who has gone beyond help.

Deuce: Ace was saying something like that, too. Both him and Grim were laughing at me for that.

Deuce: Even though it was really Grim's fault in the first place!!

Deuce: [Yuu] even pointed that out to them, but they wouldn't stop, so…

Deuce: We ended up arguing… Which then got us sent out into the hallway before long to deal with the consequences of our actions.

Sebek: So that's why you were in the hallway. However, I don't understand. Why did you do such an unnecessary thing?

Sebek: Even if Grim or [Yuu] were to be reprimanded, that has nothing to do with you.

Deuce: Nothing to do with me? Come on, there's no way I can let my friends flounder like that.

Deuce: I mean, Grim aside… [Yuu]'s helped me out a ton before, so.

Sebek: Hmph. Then I guess at the very least, next time you should act after you've determined whether you have your textbook or not.

[Sebek walks off]

Deuce: YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME TWICE!

Deuce: Geez, and he walks off after one last parting shot, huh… Ugh. Guess I'll try to shake off this funk by checking out some of the other exhibits.

Deuce: Oh, this is a painting of a girl singing with flowers. She looks like she's having fun, but according to the story…

Deuce: If I remember correctly, she was described as vulgar, rude, and weedy...

Deuce: Doesn't matter where you are, or who you are, everyone has to follow the rules. Not a shocker to me that those who can't follow 'em end up in sticky situations.

Requested by @farfalla049.

[imsiriuslyreading]

i grew up surrounded by the gays. i was very lucky, in a small town in northern Ireland, my found family were all queer in some way or another, before we had the words to describe it the way we do now.

when i was a kid, i remember just thinking it was pretty standard. gender or whatever never had a say in who I was attracted to, who I fell in love with. it never occurred to me that I was 'different', until I saw those who were outwardly definable as 'different' around me being othered.

so, in my true defiant nature, i leaned into it too. the tattoos, the hairstyles, the clothes, the makeup, whatever I could do to show my chosen family, my friends, and all the people who had some shit to say, that I was one of them. we could all get hatecrimed together, yay! there were fights to be fought (and we did fight), protests to stomp, but there was also a lot of fun to be had.

so coming to the marauders fandom as a seasoned gay, watching the young lot being their truest, happiest and most authentic selves, loudly and proudly, is honestly the loveliest thing. i remember the tiny nights huddled in my little shitty house, me and my few friends all dressed up ridiculously and making up dance moves to lady gaga or going out to the gay night club in belfast and being in absolute awe of it all. i remember the thrill, the fear and the love that comes with finding your feet with people the same as you, or so wonderfully different from you.

so now, seeing that happen on such a large scale, in such a huge community, is just such a privilege. whether through writing or fanart or cosplay or edits or whatever it is, it is absolute magic.

happy pride month! be safe, be kind, and be loud <3

[coraniaid]

Speaking of Faith, Hope & Trick: that first conversation between Buffy and Faith must be so different from Faith's point of view.

I mean, the episode itself is very much told from Buffy's perspective. She's only recently reclaimed her identity as "Buffy, the Vampire Slayer" and she just started to reconnect with her friends as of the end of last episode. Of course she feels challenged by Faith's arrival; of course she feels like Faith's deliberately trying to upstage her. Of course she feels Faith is trying to intrude on her life. She reacted much the same way when she met Kendra, and that was when she was a lot less keen on being "the Vampire Slayer" and much more comfortable with her place in Sunnydale. As she tells her mother later, she's "just getting her life back […] not looking to go halfsies on it".

But think about it from Faith's side. Even while she's lying about where her Watcher is, she admits that she came all the way from Boston looking to meet "the infamous" Buffy Summers. She presumably set up the earlier encounter with the vampire deliberately to try to lure Buffy out (she's the one to lead him outside and she only starts fighting him seriously once Buffy and the Scooby Gang have arrived looking for her). She must have picked out her never-to-be-seen-again outfit and practiced her slightly too casual introduction of "I've got it. You're, uh, Buffy, right?" (as if she came all the way to California to meet some girl whose name she didn't quite remember) well in advance. She's already calling her 'B' while the vamp's dust is still cooling. You think she hadn't planned that too?

And Faith is trying to so hard to connect with Buffy in this scene. Yes, she tells a lot of "tall tales" (as Scott Hope will later put it) -- she wants to seem impressive! she wants Buffy to view her as an equal! -- but she's also the only person in the group who keeps trying to get Buffy to share things. It's not her fault that the rest of the gang talk over Buffy's attempts to talk about her own past battles or that they undermine her attempts to tell equally impressive stories. It's not even really her fault that she ends up sharing things about being a Slayer that Buffy as obviously been trying to keep secret from her friends (I mean, it's her fault a little, sure, but I don't think it would even occur to Faith to be embarrassed by anything she says).

"Did you really use a rocket launcher one time?" Faith asks, having already heard the story from somewhere and so done her best to convince Buffy that she too has done equally cool things (she hasn't). "What was your toughest kill?" she asks, having fled most of the way across a continent to escape a vampire she couldn't kill herself. "Isn't it crazy how Slaying always makes you hungry and horny?" she asks and "You and I are gonna have fun," she promises. What can that mean but: don't you feel the same way I do? Aren't you just the same as me? Aren't you glad I'm here?

Yes, Faith is jealous of Buffy's friends and her Watcher and her Mom, right from the start, but she didn't arrive in town looking to meet them. She came looking for Buffy; and look at how quick she is to accept Scott's description of her as "Buffy's friend" the next day. But Buffy (very understandably, from her point of view, because of experiences Faith has no knowledge of) just keeps trying to shut her out. The harder Faith tries to impress her -- by trying to win over Buffy's friends, and her Watcher, and her possible boyfriend, and her Mom -- the more aloof the other Slayer seems to get.

No wonder Faith gets annoyed by the rejection. No wonder she starts to get angry. No wonder she's ready to start exchanging threats once they're alone on patrols and the vampires aren't even showing up the way they're supposed to. Like she'll complain later in the season: she came to Sunnydale, she slayed, she did the good little girl routine, and what did she get? Not Buffy, that's for sure.

[sukirichi]

SUKI SUKI? @! ÷ 2? I THINK YOU HAVE CLOSED THE REQS BUT IT OCCURRED TO ME TO ME MAGICALLY HELP. LISTEN !!!! husband bonten but the first time they met with y/n, like THE FIRST INTERACTION OF EVERYONE AND IN WHAT SITUATION DID THEY HAVE AN INSTANT CRUSH TO EACH OTHER AND EVERYTHING THAT CONTAINS?×)÷,×!",!)0273*?× ¡÷ 2 I PRAY YOU TO WRITE IT, IT DOESN'T MATTER IF IT IS IN 10 YEARS 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 IM CRYINH

BONTEN MEN MEETING THEIR WIVES FOR THE FIRST TIME !! (PART ONE)

☁️ mikey, haitani ran, haitani rindou

☁️ unedited. mild angst on mikey's part. ran is technically not a first meeting, but yeah! suggestive on ran's part. fluff. cursing. mikey is lowkey a stalker. (only putting the three of them first because it was getting too long 😭)

♡ — MIKEY

It’s just another day, another mission. There’s nothing new for Mikey. And even if there was, there’s hardly anything he looks forward to now. Whether it’s a mission accomplished or mission failed, he hardly notices. His executives will take care of it, anyway. So he walks aimlessly in the streets he calls his, unafraid of the night’s darkness and the dangers it might bring – quite frankly, because he is the danger that lurks. What is there to be afraid of when he’s the worst imaginable nightmare around?

So lost in his own thoughts, it takes him a second to register the collision of his body with someone else. “I’m sorry!” a sweet voice cuts through the night air. You sound adorable and apologetic enough Mikey’s eyes light up for just a brief moment. Dark, lifeless eyes come to life as he glances at you – bowing in apology while clutching your satchel to your chest. “I wasn’t looking where I was going and I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to–”

At any other day, Sanzu would’ve handled this for him. At any other day, Mikey would’ve let it slide and moved on because he just doesn’t care. You’re a civilian, anyway, and you knew better. No one bumps into him like this by accident. Curious, he tilts his gaze to you. There’s only one good conclusion of your unabashed expression that of guilt and genuine embarrassment – you must not have any idea who he is and treated him like you would anyone else.

He’s not the fearsome Manjiro Sano to you.

He’s just a stranger you inconvenienced, and for some reason, that soothes him. He’s not a killer in your eyes. He’s not a person who’s continuously done the wrong thing for the past few years. He’s just... him.

“It’s okay,” he replies after a moment, tucking his hands inside the pockets of his hoodie. “It’s late, though. You shouldn’t be out around this time of night. It’s dangerous.”

“Oh, I know,” you scrunch up your nose, “Gangs are running rampant and all. But this is the only time I can take a high-paying shift, and what’s the point of safety if I can’t pay my bills, right?”

He doesn’t know how to answer that. He hasn’t worried about bills in a long time – Kokonoi has that covered. Instead, he nods, finding it hard to look away from you. “Stay safe, then. And if you need help, then...” Then, what? The gangs would help? Bonten would keep you safe? No, that was ridiculous. Bonten was the one thing everyone wanted to be protected from.

It hits him, then, that he is the monster that makes everyone feel unsafe. And for once in his life since he’d established Bonten, Mikey feels sick.

He doesn’t want to be the cause of your worries.

— It doesn’t take much to find out everything about you – where you work, where you live, when your shifts happen, and even silly details like what your favourite flavour or cup ramen is. He tells himself he’s doing this for your safety, and in a way, he is. You weren’t kidding when you said you take graveyard shifts because it pays the best, so upon finding out you come home really late, and go to work just as, Mikey takes it upon himself to watch from afar. Never approaching, never striking a conversation – because he doesn’t know what to say, and how could he explain he knows your routine by now – but always watching. Guarding. Protecting. He must look ominous gazing upon you from buildings afar, but he’s content with it. He thinks he can do this for as long as he likes, simply watching you from afar.

— But then he realizes he wants more.

— And he doesn’t know what ‘more’ means exactly. More time with you? You don’t even know who he is. More conversations? He’d probably stumble over his words, or make the worst jokes. Fuck. He hasn’t joked in a while. Would you even find him funny? He thinks about all day long, all night long, until you’re the only one running into his mind and he’s been so mentally checked out of his own meetings that his executives have – politely – asked him to just take a while for himself.

— So he does, and because he was never good at controlling his urges, he goes to you. He dresses a little nicer than usual; a newly ironed shirt, a good pair of jeans, and even asked Rindou to fix his hair up for him. “Going on a date?” he’d teased, but even Mikey doesn’t know how to answer that. It’s not a date, but he’d be damned if he let another day go by that you didn’t know his name.

— He introduced himself, rather awkwardly, and pretends like he didn’t come to your work on purpose. “I didn’t know you worked here,” he says, and it couldn’t be a bigger lie. But you just smile up at him like you’re happy to see him, like you’ve been hoping to meet again, and for a moment, Mikey lets himself believe that it could be true. Maybe he deserves that smile. Maybe someone actually wants to see him. He lingers on that delusion long enough that he’s matched his routine with yours – walking you back home, letting you talk about how much you hate your boss, and hate your sleazy customers even more. It’s not easy being a waitress, especially when you’re forced to wear tight-fitting clothes with the intention of attracting customers. And it gets to him. The darkness and rage he’s been letting quietly simmer beneath his veins as to not scare you off finally resurfaces.

— He hates it all – hates how you’re in such an unfortunate situation, and there’s only so little he could do. Until he realizes he’s the Manjiro Sano. After sending in Sanzu to deal with your boss, who may or may not have been gently blackmailed into treating you better and giving you higher pay or else, Mikey notices the weight being lifted off your shoulder. You’ve started smiling more and even invite him to your place one time to celebrate your ‘fortunes.’

“Are you sure?” he asks rather warily, “I mean, it’s late at night.”

“Yeah, it’s fine,” you reassure him, and lead him inside your home. He almost feels bad for you for being so unaware. You don’t have the slightest idea you’re bringing a killer in the safety of your home, but he doesn’t get the chance to dwell on it when you turn on the lights. He’s greeted by your homey apartment, a little cluttered, a little messy, and it’s a little small for you that he can’t imagine would be comfortable – but it’s yours, and you’re proud of it. Pulling out a mat, you tell him to make himself at home while you prepare some celebratory snacks. They’re nothing fancy – mostly chips, cheap wine, and a few hardened candies.

It’s probably the worst timing to realize he’s falling in love.

First of all, there’s nothing romantic about watching you lean against the counter, humming to yourself as you pop open the wine. Second of all, you don’t look enticing or seductive. Not in your mismatched pyjamas and even more hilariously mismatched socks. But you are enticing – from the way your throat vibrates at your humming, to your quick, swift movements preparing the snacks. You look so at home, so content, that he can’t help but want that for himself. Want you for himself. He wants you at his place and to decorate it as you wish. He wants you to liven it up and scatter knick-knacks all over his room. He wants your toothbrush next to his in the bathroom. He wants you – wants all of you – from your crumpled shirt, to your aching shoulders after a long day at work, wants to kiss it all better for you.

He wants you.

And when the Bonten Head wants something, he will get it.

— If someone told him that a few years from now that his silly musings at three in the morning would finally come true, he’d have scoffed at them. But this is his reality is now, and how he’ll spend the rest of his life.

You’re standing next to him in his bathroom, brushing your teeth while simultaneously humming to yourself. He’s heard the melody enough to have memorized it. And when he’s having a hard day, he sings it to himself, although it never sounds as good like when you do it. The tune is comforting, a reminder you’re in his life now, that everything’s worked out. You married him, and he couldn’t be a happier man.

“Something wrong, Manjiro?” you ask after rinsing your mouth, turning to him with a hand on your hips. Stern, yet unbelievably gentle. Cupping his cheeks with your hands, he melts. “Tell me. How can I make it better?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” he says, and it’s the truth. The moment is all too perfect. You’re here with him, you’re safe, and you’ve loved him after everything he’s done. “Just wanna hold you.”

You break him to it. Lunging into his arms, you giggle and bury yourself around his neck, knowing full well he’ll catch you. Mikey laughs, too, but it’s quieter, more reserved, the sound nearly muted because your skin is pressing against his so hard that it becomes hard to fathom there was ever a time he felt he wasn’t worth of love. And maybe he still isn’t. He still has Bonten, he still has horrible urges, he still gets the demanding itch to kill and hurt – but you’re there, in his arms, and he feels the darkness slowly simmer into tamed shadows.

♡ — HAITANI RAN

Ran is not subtle with his feelings. He believes in the beauty and art of flirting, of holding one’s gazes for just a second longer than what was considered polite, the fleeting, yet burning touches one could pass off as innocent. He’s had enough experience in his life to have mastered it. He’s handsome, he’s irresistible, and he knows it. Beauty and charm is a weapon he wasn’t ashamed of wielding, especially not around his current flavour of the month – or more like months, now. He’s played this game of tic tac toe with you, this push and pull, for so long that he feels he’ll lose his mind.

Like everyone else in Bonten, he usually gets what he wants. But you’re different. You’re attracted to him – that much he knows – but you’re the one responsible for all of Bonten’s uniform and suits that your attraction borders just on the edge of professionalism. But he knows. Oh, he knows. You aren’t so subtle yourself.

Each time he comes around for a fitting, your lips twitch as if you’re fighting back a smile. He also doesn’t fail to notice how you’re gesturing around to your staff in the shop to give you two ‘privacy.’ Bonten executive or not, Ran isn’t foolish – he knows he’s the only one receiving this special treatment. Knows you don’t touch your other clients like this – with a perfectly manicured nail grazing down his arm, your eyes lidded with lust, your blood-red lips caught between your teeth.

It makes Ran yearn.

He wants those same claws to run down scratches behind his back. He wants to take those lips into his mouth, instead, to have you ruin his suits by staining it with your lipstick on his collar, his neck, his tie, his pants. It’d give him more of a reason to come back, anyway. But you just had to be so professional that he always leaves the shop with his pants feeling tighter than ever, his lungs constricted because it becomes hard to breathe around you, yet feeling so addicted to the high of having you so close, yet so far away.

“You should come back for another fitting,” you call out to him just as he swings the door open. He freezes. He’s always the one scheduling a fitting. Unable to help it, he shuts the door and locks it, smirking to himself when he hears the vague hitching of your breath behind the counter.

“And why is that?”

“Oh, you know,” you manage to tease, but ah. He can see right through you. Even with your nonchalant facade, he can tell he’s getting under your veins with every step he takes to close the distance between you. Damn the counter. Damn any customers who might be waiting outside. For now, there’s only him and you, and he thinks he may damn well truly ruin his pants when you look up at him with eyes blown wide with want. With need.

He wishes you could just let go and give in.

“I, in fact, don’t know. But do care to enlighten me,” leaning down, he rests his arms against the counter, glad to finally be at your eye level. You’re prettier in this angle, which baffles him, because you’re already so pretty enough it hurts. And he can’t help but wonder if you’d look a hundred times better in... different angles. An angle under him, perhaps, where you’re helpless and forced to clutch his biceps while you hold on for dear life. Because Ran guarantees once he gets his hands on you, he’s never letting go.

“I just think,” with narrowed eyes, he feels your heated gaze travel from his face that’s inches away from yours down to his chest, and to the bulge constricted around his pants. You let out a breathy sound at the sight of it, his body responding by growing even harder. “Your pants are too tight for you now. Perhaps we should make you a better one?”

“I have other ways in mind in which we could resolve this problem. Preferably one that doesn’t consist of measuring tapes,” he raises his brow, watches as you slowly unfold and unravel right at his palms. It’s almost satisfying. Almost. He’s wanted you for so long that frustration is more what he feels right now, and impatience. “Although I’m not entirely against using ropes.”

♡ — HAITANI RINDOU

Rindou doesn’t concern himself with civilians. He has better things to do, and after a long day, he’s more than ready to just plop himself into bed and wake up only when the world is ending. Or, he could just let it end, too. He couldn’t care any less. Unfortunately for him, though, the universe has different plans for him that night. He just wanted to get a damned drink, for fuck’s sake, until he hears screaming and the shuffling of feet as soon as he steps out of the convenience store.

“Stop him!” someone squeals, the cry helpless and desperate. From where he stood, wine bottle on one hand, he could see the figure of a man running with what seemed like a bag clutched to his chest. “Someone help, please!”

Rindou sighs. There’s nothing more that he hates more than petty crimes that are more inconveniences than impactful. Before he could register what he’s doing, Rindou’s arm extended out in front of himself, and within the blink of an eye, the thief whizzing past him had been caught by the collar. The thief struggles against his hold, whining and thrashing with curses thrown his way.

“Let me fucking go, you oaf!”

“I don’t think so,” Rindou tips his head to the side just as a figure appeared behind the thief. You stand there, wheezing to catch your breath with your hands on your knees. At the sight of him effortlessly restraining the thief, you break out into a relieved sigh and snatch back your bag, holding it more possessively. And oh, aren’t you just pretty? With your skin layered with a sheen of sweat from all that running, cheeks damp with tears, your frown now replaced with a grateful smile – Rindou feels like you’re the thief. “Whoa. Careful with that smile, sweetheart.”

Your brows furrow, and he nearly groans. It should be a crime for someone to look so adorably confused. “What?”

“Okay, that’s enough, they got their bag back, now let me go!”

Right. He still had a lame excuse of a criminal on his hand. With a roll of his eyes, Rindou throws the man against to the ground until he’s coughing out blood from when he hit the pavement. He hears you gasp, and it makes him wince. He hadn’t meant to be so harsh. You’re probably afraid of him now.

“Run along,” he warns the petty thief, and he didn’t need to be told twice. As soon as the man disappears, Rindou turns to you, a lazy smile making its way into his face. “You know, I usually hate being troubled, but this might be the first time I don’t mind as much.”

Your jaw drops. You look around frantically in your bag for a moment, and just when he thinks you can’t get anymore interesting, you pull out a wad of cash and shove it to him. Rindou cocks a brow. “And what is that for, sweetheart?”

“To-to thank you for saving me! And it’s also an apology because I troubled you...”

Rindou fights the urge to scoff. “I feel like I should be offended,” he says in a sing-song manner, only because you don’t take the teasing well, and the sight of you stumbling over your words is already making his night. He wants to reassure you it’s no trouble at all, that he’ll easily catch all your thieves for you, or that you can steal his heart and never give it back to him. But he doesn’t, because he’s just met you, and maybe, just maybe, he’s curious how this will go.

“Oh, I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to–”

“Say, if you really want to thank me, why don’t we share this?” he lifts his wine bottle, and you eye it for a moment before nodding eagerly. His heart drops. He lowers the bottle, his voice growing darker – yet make no mistake. Behind his scowl and hardened eyes, his heart is beating a mile a minute, and his skin is burning impossibly hot. “Don’t you think you say yes a little too easily?”

“Uhm, but you saved me. You helped me, and this is how you want to be thanked.”

Rindou thinks his brain might short-circuit. You are definitely trouble.

“I could be more dangerous than him, you know,” he leans toward you menacingly to prove a point, but you don’t cower. Your breath hitches, and you clutch your bag tighter. But you don’t move away, and neither can he. Now that he’s closer, he can smell your strawberry scented perfume and he shuts his eyes, greedily inhaling the scent. Shit. He hasn’t even drunk anything, and he already feels intoxicated. Taking a step back for his own sanity, Rindou levels you a warning glare. “You really should be more careful, sweet. Perhaps it’ll lower the chances of you running into trouble.”

“Oh,” you look dejected, though he could just be imagining it. “Yeah, okay, uh... I’ll be more careful. Thank you again...?”

“Rindou.”

“Rindou,” you repeat, and he realizes his name sounds sweeter when you say. With a scrunch of your nose, you eye the wine in his hands again. “Will I see you again? I really want to thank you for your help.”

With such a sweet offer, how can he resist? He’d be stupid to say no – even if you were trouble, it’s fine. He wasn’t notorious for being a troublemaker for no reason anyway.

[canonizzyhours]

I'm a professional screenwriter. I know nobody reading this has any reason to believe that, and I work pretty hard to keep my fandom activity separate from my professional identity, so I'm not going to offer any proof that would doxx me here, believe me or don't. But it's true and I don't just mean I'm trying to get hired as a screenwriter, I mean I am pretty well established in the industry and I've worked on some stuff big enough you've probably heard of it. I've also been active in OFMD fandom for about two years now, since nearly the beginning.

The canyon really freaks me out because seeing it up close makes me worried I've drastically underestimated audiences' empathy gap around characters of color and tendency to sympathize with and excuse the actions of white characters. I've always tried to be conscious about that sort of thing in my work but now that I'm seeing the whole process up close it's so much worse than I always thought.

I think a lot about what I would have done during season 1 of OFMD, if I were in the writers' room and I'd wanted to make sure it would be clear to the audience that Izzy was Ed's abuser and wasn't acting out of secretly sympathetic motives and we're supposed to be genuinely horrified by his actions. I'm in writers' rooms workshopping issues like this all the time. I know the kinds of suggestions I'd make.

Like, if we were worried that the audience would think Izzy's hostility toward Stede was about class instead of homophobia, I might have suggested we make sure Izzy's dialogue never has any reference to Stede's class at all, and that we might do a subplot in one episode where Izzy is equally hostile toward Lucius, since Lucius clearly isn't rich but is extremely gay. But that already happened, and it didn't help.

If I wanted to make sure the audience understood that Izzy is bossing the crew around and screaming at everyone to work harder because he's a petty little bully on a power trip and not because the work actually needs to get done, I might have suggested a scene where Izzy deliberately makes a mess on purpose just so he can order the crew to clean it up. But that already happened, and it didn't help.

If I wanted to make it clear that Izzy has always been awful toward everyone around him -- especially his colleagues of color -- since long before the show started, I might have suggested we repeatedly emphasize throughout the season that while Fang is willing to work with him, he doesn't like or respect Izzy and this is because Izzy has always treated Fang very badly. Have him pull on Fang's beard for no reason and have Fang explicitly say he hates that but knows it wouldn't help to complain. Have Fang tell strangers jokes about times Izzy humiliated himself in public. Have a scene where everybody unanimously VOTES TO MURDER IZZY and someone explicitly stops to ask Fang if he's cool with this and Fang explicitly says yes this is absolutely fine with me and then he actively participates in the murder plan while smiling. But all of that happened and I still see the canyon insisting that Izzy was a much nicer person before the events of s2 when he wasn't under so much stress and has always been liked and respected by the PoC around him, including specifically Fang!

If I were worried that the audience might take seriously the idea that Izzy is motivated by "loyalty to your captain" -- well, honestly I don't think it ever would have occurred to me to worry about that, since he says that in a scene where he's in the middle betraying his captain and I'd probably assume people are capable of picking that up and understanding that when someone says they're abusing you for your own good you should not believe them. But if someone else insisted we address the concern, suggestions I'd make would include: make sure some of the first interactions we see between Ed and Izzy involve Izzy complaining about how he doesn't want to do the job Ed just gave him, then half-assing the mission and lying to Ed's face about it. Show Izzy deliberately undermining Ed to the crew by telling them he's half-insane, then insist to Ed that he's the only one keeping the crew loyal when they're worried about his judgment. But they did that stuff and we still have people thinking Izzy's central motivation throughout season 1 is selfless devotion to Ed.

The show did every single thing I would have suggested, and none of it worked. So what does it say about all the stuff I've already worked on, whenever I've written a scene where a white guy was being a dick to characters of color? Have I just been embarrassingly naive this whole time? Have I undermined my own work by not getting this?

You can't control audience reactions, I know that, that's part of what's great about art, you have to let go and accept that people will interpret things in ways you never intended, I get it. But if it's THIS impossible to choose words that will create the kind of feelings you meant to, what's the point? Is it even possible to write about the kind of abusive relationship Ed and Izzy have, where the white guy thinks he's entitled to control a brown man's life "for his own good" and that the brown guy is obligated to be grateful and reciprocate his "love" and not have a huge group of people creating elaborate justifications for the white guy? What else could they have done? What else can I do, when I'm writing about characters of color? I'm seriously asking. If anybody reading this has advice I want to hear it. What could I do?

#408.

[bibibbon]

In defense of Yuta okkotusu

I know Iam not a fan of jjk 261 mainly because of the creative direction gege chose to go in but that doesn't mean I hate yuta. I have been rereading some jjk moments and in all honesty yuta doing something like this makes sense.

I just wish that a different creative decision was made making yuta abandon his innocence (the little he had) in a different way like him taking Getos cursed technique (I find that interesting because geto and yuta have always been foils to eachother and yuta strongly dislikes geto) while kenjaku takes over Gojo (paralleling with geto).

Yuta losing his innocence and doing something that fans would deem unethical has actually been built up and foreshadowed as early as chapter 90. This can be seen during kenjaku and Gojos conversation where kenjaku expresses his doubts in yuta ever becoming as strong as Gojo or becoming the second Gojo. Ironically yuta literally becomes Gojo and is in gojos body. Like kenjaku stated this could only be achieved due to rika and yuta can't truly become Gojo permanently as he only has 5 minutes before he dies or fully loses his abilities.

The true meaning of Yuta becoming Gojo would mean that yuta would have to face a similar fate to Gojo which he does considering that he had to sacrifice rika to even achieve such a thing and lose all of his innocence.

However, I think what's even more interesting is that many characters like uro and kenjaku never actually believed that yuta could ever do such a thing. They never believed that yuta would be desperate enough and hungry enough to take everything and risk it just so he could kill sukuna and avenge gojos death. Kenjaku is aware of the various and over powered abilities that yuta has yet he doesn't believe that he can become as powerful as Gojo because he is "too nice". This belief is then repeated in chapter 180 with ishigori and uro telling him the same thing. They have fought yuta at one of his most powerful states and took him not killing them as a sign of weakness or softness which they view it as something that hinders him from becoming someone like sukuna.

Although now that I think about it this page can also be interpreted in another way. This could mean that someone losing their calm and collective cool can lead to their death as it blinds then with rage leaving them to their own devices. Now this idea can relate to yuta who in a state of emotions like anger and fear agreed to do what many thought would be the unthinkable and take over gojos body. This decision now leaves yuta on the line of facing various harsh concequences, one of them being death itself and losing rika.

I think something whats also devastating about yuta is how he is effected by this. Ever since yuta's first year in Jujutsu tech he like his own teacher has been given the title of the second strongest and the narrative continually hypes him up as gojos successor if anything goes wrong. To me this is especially evident in chapter 143 where we see Gojo himself tell yuta that if anything happens in the jjk society where he can't be there to prevent it he would like yuta to step up and take his place. This obviously is a huge responsibility placed upon a 17 year old who out of nowhere (like in the span of a year or less) became the second strongest whose strength is said to be on par with gojos.

I think what's more cruel about this is that it's met with yuta cracking a joke, showing how he believes that an event like this occuring is unlikely. Yuta trusts and believes in Gojo and his abilities so you can imagine how much of a shock shibuya was to yuta. Shibuya -even though yuta wasn't there and wasn't directly effected in shibuya- robbed yuta of his own innocence. After Gojo was sealed yuta was forced to step up and place himself in various dangerous scenarios to keep his word to Gojo. While in the chapter 143 flashback yuta is clam and even happy talking to Gojo this moment is contrasted with chapter 261 flashback where yuta is deadly serious that it even catches gojos own attention. The question that yuta asks about taking over gojos body (even though I don't like it) shows how much Jujutsu society has changed. The pillar of Jujutsu society, Gojo Satarou was taken down in shibuya for 20 days!! How could they not question what they would if he dies against sukuna especially after that sickening slap to the face that's as shibuya showing them that Gojo isn't invincible. Gojo himself is actually painfully aware of this and it's his turn to lighten the mood or try to in this situation.

Yuta in this situation truly doesn't want to do such a immoral and what people may consider villainous thing that is befitting of the likes of kenjaku, yet circumstances and society forces him into it.

We clearly see yuta's own desperation twice this chapter. Yuta shouts at the group trying to get them to understand his thoughts process. Honestly I think it's quite twisted that yuta who ends up taking over gojos body and using it as a weapon is the one to actually understand gojos situation the best. It's cruel writing from geges part. Yuta voices what the concequences of being the strongest are, the dehumanisation and the immense pressure. People have been unconsciously relying on Gojo and him being trapped and knocked down a peg in shibuya truly changes Jujutsu society and yuta realises that. As the second strongest yuta has seen what Gojo has had to go through and has painfully accepted the path as his, taking gojos place as the strongest both metaphorically and literally.

We see yuta's outburst born out of desperation but it's only when yuta is heavily injured that his actions themselves are born out of desperation. Gege gives us a whole page of Yuta laying down close to death doors with blood all over him giving consent to shoko and confirming that he will do what others view as immoral and the unthinkable. I have interpreted that him giving his consent to shoko shows that it was a last desperate solution and that he didn't actually want to do it but due to circumstances was basically forced to.

Honestly yuta doesn't gain anything from taking over gojos body. It's basically a last attempt sacrifice at destroying sukuna even if it means killing yuta himself and losing everything that yuta has to lose. Yuta doing this basically puts himself at risk, makes it plausible that he loses rika which means he would lose all of his abilities as kenjaku stated in chapter 90 and he loses his own humanity just for five minutes of strength. A gamble and a horrible one at that is what yuta has taken.

[cookies-over-yonder]

an illusion of the mind

A bully suddenly targetting Riz and yanking him by the tie startles him a lot more than it should. And it's because he's choking.

inspired by i've made a mystery of myself by gczebos

ao3

Riz is walking through the hall with the Bad Kids when he suddenly bumps into another student. Not a common occurence, but considering his lack of sleep, it isn't too shocking.

What is shocking, is the pure voice of rage he hears as his tie is yanked forward and his throat constricts. "Watch where you're going, bitch!"

Riz shuts his eyes and sucks in a breath, feeling dizzy.

The air comes in short bursts, something sending pain through his chest and making him shake.

He tries to speak, but the grip on his neck gets tighter, and all that comes out is a choked whine.

There's more yelling. It sounds like his friends.

They're yelling for him, aren't they?

The grip gets even tighter—large, calloused hands squeezing, and squeezing until he can't breathe.

Riz has never been strong. He's never been strong, and he never will be strong, and he knows any attempt to pry the hands off from around his neck is fruitless, but he still tries. He tries, and he gasps for air, and cries out in little whines, and he can't breathe, he can't breathe, he can't breathe—

There's another hand on his shoulder, probably to pick him up and throw him before he's even dead.

And he's right, and when he feels himself lifted into the air, he braces for impact, continuing to fruitlessly gasp for air.

The hands squeeze their tightest around his neck, and this is it.

This is it.

He hears his name.

He hears his name and he digs his fingers further into the grip around his neck in a last attempt to pry himself free.

"Riz..."

It's faraway.

It doesn't sound like one of the Bad Kids, Riz thinks, continuing to choke and pry.

"...Jawbone," he hears.

Jawbone isn't on this adventure. He's back in Solace.

"Riz, it's me, Jawbone, your counsellor, can you hear me?"

Riz nods. Why is Jawbone here?

"Riz, it's me Jawbone. You're in Elmville, in my office at Aguefort Adventuring Academy."

No... this is another trick. Get them relaxed and then take them out when they're not expecting it.

"You're not in the Nightmare King Forest. You're not in danger. You're safe here."

It doesn't make sense. Not when he can feel himself actively choking to death.

"You're not choking, you're hyperventilating. You're in Elmville. You're not in danger. You're with Jawbone, your counsellor. You're safe here. Can you hear me?"

Riz nods again.

"Can you open your eyes?"

Riz opens his eyes, and he's all but blinded by the pink of Jawbone's salt lamp.

"Can you look around the room?"

Riz sees a desk, a waste bin, the door, his tie...

His tie?

Riz feels around his neck. His tie isn't there. It's on the floor.

"Your friends took that off for you," Jawbone says, and Riz sees his face.

Kind eyes.

"You're with me, and we're in Elmville, and you're safe. You're not in danger."

Riz nods, feeling a sharp pain in his chest.

"We're gonna take some deep breaths, okay?"

Riz nods again.

"Alright, breathe in with me," Jawbone says, before taking in an exaggerated breath.

Riz tries his best to follow.

"And let it out," Jawbone says, doing a big sigh.

Riz sighs as well.

Jawbone breathes in again, and so does Riz, and he sighs, and so does Riz.

They do that a couple more times, and Riz isn't sure when it happened, but he's holding Boggy in his lap as they continue.

"You with me, kiddo?" Jawbone asks after a while.

"I—" Riz winces at the raspiness of his voice, and nods instead.

There's a bang against the door, and then:

"Kristen!"

"Are you okay?"

"I'm good, guys! Saved by the pull-up bar!"

"Shh! We're gonna disturb them! Also you're welcome for that by the way!"

"Guys, I'm sure he's alright. He's with Jawbone, it should be fine."

Riz looks at the door and then back to Jawbone.

"They're just worried about you," he says.

"Wha—what—what happened?" Riz asks, mentally cursing at the stutter, his gaze fixed on his tie.

"From what your friends told me, and from what I saw, I'd say you might have had a flashback."

"I—I—I..."

Riz keeps staring at his tie on the floor, and Jawbone picks it up and passes it to him.

He puts it on with trembling hands, keeping it loose. 

"How—how did..." Riz starts, looking down at Boggy, who's giving him a reassuring, adorable smile. "I was in the—the hallway..."

"Your friends brought you here," he says.

"Ri...right. Okay. I..."

Riz feels his ears and cheeks heat up, and he cups his face in his hands, knowing he's blushing hard.

And to make matters worse, he feels dried tears stuck to his cheeks. Surely he'd been sobbing in the middle of the hallway. This is gonna do wonders for every bully.

"It's nothing to be embarassed of, kiddo. You went through something traumatic, and that's serious."

Riz doesn't respond. Nor does he look up from his hands.

"I know you like to keep to yourself, but  I'll admit I'm getting to be a little concerned, and I want you to know we can work on this together if you're open to it. My door is always open for you, Riz."

Riz wants to go home.

He doesn't want to face the other Bad Kids. Not like this.

"Can—can you... can you call..."

Riz clears his throat. God, it's hard to talk.

"You want me to call your mom?"

"Uh-huh..." Riz whines, drawing his knees to his chest and burying his head in them. "I—I don't... I don't want to... I—I... Sorry. Sorry."

"It's okay, kiddo. It's all okay. I'm gonna call your mom, and we can excuse you from the rest of your classes for today."

"'M gonna—gonna—gonna miss my—my clubs..."

"That's okay, you hear me? Hey, can you plant your feet on the ground for me?"

Riz does so.

"Watch me, now," Jawbone says, and Riz looks up. He's got his feet on the ground too, mirroring Riz. He starts to slowly tap his thighs with his hands. Left, then right, then left, then right. "Can you try this with me? Just tap. Left, right, left, right."

Riz follows along, tapping each leg and gazing at his trembling hands.

"There you go. When you start feeling anxious, thinking about your trauma, I want you to start doing that. Just start tapping, left and right."

"O—okay..." Riz mumbles.

"Alright, you can stop for now, but I want you to keep that in your back pocket, okay?"

Riz nods, and gives Boggy a squeeze.

"I'm gonna step out and call your mom, alright?"

He nods again.

And Jawbone is gone.

Riz thinks he can hear a hushed conversation outside the door between the Bad Kids and Jawbone.

Riz looks down at his backpack beside his feet.

...

He crawls inside and zips it shut.

This way, he can just be carried to the car and no one will see him.

And while he's alone in this room, no one will hear him cry either.

So he does.

He cries, and he waits, and he cries some more.

And eventually, he hears a knock at the door, and he sucks in a breath.

"Riz, honey?" he hears from the other side.

Mom.

"I'm coming in," she says, and he hears the door open and shut behind her.

"Can you carry me out in here so my friends don't see me?" he asks, voice wobbly.

"Riz..."

He feels a hand on his back through the fabric of his backpack.

"It can't be comfortable in there, can it?"

"Please, Mom."

He feels her slide on the backpack and start to walk.

During the walk back to the car, he checks his crystal. It's almost blinding against the darkness of his bag.

There's a few texts from his friends in their group chat.

The Bad PhotosyntheKids

Fig: riz if anyone tries to bully you like that again we'll fuck them up

Gorgug: Fabian says we'll eliminate them

Fabian: ELIMINATE. IN ALL CAPS GORGUG!

Kristen: we'll always look out for you bro

And some private messages.

Fabian: The Ball, are you alright?

Fig: i think that asking if you're okay is probably a bad question but i'm not sure what else to say so i'm just gonna say let me know if there's anything i can do to help ok? love you man

Adaine: i know how embarassing it is to break down and panic in front of people and i just wanna say im here for u and it's not ur fault when ur brain gives u hell and i love u and i'm here for u always. i'm here if u want to talk or if u just want to not talk about anything and just hang out just in general i'm here. i feel like im rambling sorry i just want u to know i care about u so much and ur never alone ok?

Riz reacts to Fig and Adaine's messages each with a little heart. Adaine sends a close up picture of Boggy smiling after he sends the reaction, and he gives that a heart too.

"Riz, honey, it's time to get in the car," Sklonda says, unzipping his backpack.

Riz climbs out and slips into the passenger seat, bucking the seatbelt and staring at the ground.

Sklonda shuts the door beside him and travels to the other side.

"Jawbone didn't tell me much, you know," she says while she drives.

Riz whines.

"He said that you should consider meeting with him weekly. I think it's a good idea too."

Riz whines again and Sklonda sighs.

"We can talk about it another time, right now I just want you to rest, okay, baby?"

"Okay, Ma..." Riz mumbles, fiddling with his tie and running the soft fabric between his fingers.

Riz doesn't say much else as they park, go through the elevator, and get inside. Sklonda walks beside him the entire time, not touching him, which he appreciates.

He curls up in his parents bed—it's second nature, really, to lie down on Pok's side when he's feeling vulnerable.

Sklonda sits on the other side, and he grabs her hand to hold and shuts his eyes. She gives his hand a squeeze and slides his glasses off, and he hears her fold them and put them on her bedside table.

Riz shifts to wrap both his arms around one of hers and pull her closer, rubbing his forehead against her bicep.

She runs her fingers through his hair, and he yawns.

"I love you, honey."

"I luh you too," he mumbles back, and promptly drifts off to sleep.

[valstarsandgalaxies]

This fic came straight from my feelings. I wasn't feeling very good, everything was overwhelming and i wanted to cry.

But it all inspired me well enough to write this fic, where Gale has a panic attack (so this is tw). Somehow making Gale feel at least a bit of what i felt, was very comforting to me.

Btw. This is UNEDITED (just letting you know and sorry)

Breathe, darling

He can't breathe. He's trying to catch his breath. Unsuccessful. He sees Bucky right in front of him, but he's blurry. He could recognise him only because... Well, who wouldn't recognise Bucky? With his broad shoulders and charming face. Dark brown curls, soft voice, whispering a low "are you okay?". He can see and hear those things, yet he can't bring himself to actually acknowledge them. His heart was pounding like it should jump out of his chest at any moment. His hands and legs were shaking. His fingers tapping on the mattress of the bed, unsteady and loudly. It was harder to breathe with every inhale he took. He was starting to choke. That's the first time he hears John's voice clearly.

"What is it? What's wrong, Buck?"

He couldn't get any words out. None of his senses were working. It was almost like he couldn't control his body at all. His eyes started to get watery and he felt tears were about to fall. He can't let that happen. Men don't cry. That's what his father always used to tell him. Men always have to be strong, crying is a weakness. It never occurred to him that Gale was merely a little kid, who just fell and had a bruise on his knee.

One wouldn't guess that trying not to cry would be this difficult. In his mind suddenly all he could think about was "do not cry, do not cry, do not cry", which made him want to cry even more.

While this was occupying his mind, he kind of forgot that he still needs to breathe.

"Buck, darling, you need to breathe, okay? You need to breathe for me, could you do that?"

And Gale could never say no, not when John calls him darling. Or any other pet name actually. It's almost a curse, John's words are sometimes too much for Gale. Too much love to bear. John took Gale's hand and placed it on his chest. Then placed his other hand on Gale's chest.

"Okay, why don't we try syncing our breathing, baby? Come on, up and down, just like me."

And so Gale tried. He focused on his hand on Bucky's chest and tried to match his breathing. Tried to catch his breath and get back to reality. Away from his mind. Away from his awful head. The worst thing is, even if John helps him to escape now... It's only temporary, he'll be trapped immediately again. Isn't it the saddest thing? Being trapped in your mind forever? How could people accept that and be okay with that?

Right now he wishes he could crawl into John's body, that his soul could intertwine with John's and that they'd become one. United forever. He quite likes the idea of John's protectiveness.

If he and John just could be together. But that's only if, and if belongs to fantasies and dreams. They both can't afford that, they barely have the time to afford whatever they're doing now.

"That's my boy, your breathing has calmed. Now let's keep it steady, yeah? Try to not get upset again, my darling."

John was about to pull his hand away, but Gale reached for his wrist and put it back on his torso again. He needed to feel John's touch, he reckons it might be one of the only things keeping him sane at the moment.

John understands. John gets Gale. It's the best feeling Gale thinks he'd ever feel. The way he and John know each other so deeply, their communication without words, they show their needs with a glance or an expression. Maybe after all their soul might as well be intertwined and if they're not they at least live next to each other.

And so John sits up next to him, standing up from his kneeling position in front of him and pulling him in for a hug. A very careful one though, he must have been scared to not squeeze Buck too much, especially after his trouble with breathing. Nonetheless, he wraps his arms around Gale's waist, rests his chin on his shoulder and leans his mouth into his ear. If Gale would have been in his right mind he'd have freaked out heavily, but he's sort of not in his skin, still high on his panic attack.

"What happened, baby?"

John whispered. And Gale couldn't care less for the world and the expectations put upon them. Right now it was only John and him. John who was holding him close and whispering to his ear, while slightly caressing his lips on his neck. He didn't kiss him though, his lips were just hovering over the area. Almost like exploring.

"It was- i... uhmm"

He still couldn't say a coherent sentence. Bucky can sense it and turns him, so they're facing each other. And with the softest, most gentle voice he said:

"I know maybe you don't wanna talk about this and I'll respect it, if you don't. But don't you think it'd be better for you to say it out loud? And you know, maybe just tell me. After all, it's me, Buck. It's only me. You can tell me anything."

It's Bucky, it's only Bucky. So he tells him.

"I'm uhmm- I'm not very sure. I just wasn't feeling well, it's just a lot. All of it, i mean. Suddenly the air was suffocating me like when you're too high in the sky and you don't have a mask on."

"Oh, I'm so sorry-"

"It's okay. You handed me the mask, at the very last moment. You saved me."

"I believe that's exactly what I'm here for."

"Are you?"

"Yeah, cause i couldn't live with myself if something were to happen to you. And because you don't deserve to feel like you don't matter anymore. Or that you're not loved. Because you are, Buck. I love you and care about you. And if you need me to help you put the mask on again, just ask me, I'll find it for you. And if your hands would be too weak, I'll put it on and I'll make sure you'll breathe again. I'm with you, always and forever. It's you and me, Buck."

And after that, there was nothing more to be said. Buck couldn't even think of words to match these. Or some that'd make a good response. But when Bucky's looking at him expectantly, probably waiting for him to say something, he manages a quiet:

"You and me, Bucky."

Which seems to satisfy John as he smiles and lies on the bed. They're alone here. It's late at night, but everyone's at the bar. They were there too until Buck wasn't feeling well and excused himself from the room. He ended here, in the barracks, choking and trying to find breathable air as Bucky came to rescue him. The other guys will probably come back soon. They should go both to their beds. But John is currently lying in Gale's bed. And what's he to do about that?

So he lay down, put his head into the crook of John's neck and nuzzled his nose to John's pulse.

"The others will be back soon."

Gale mumbled. But none of them move an inch. After a long while, John said:

"Yeah. Are you feeling better though?"

And Gale wasn't sure what to answer. Sure, right now he was feeling really fucking good. He was lying next to John with their bodies touching whole. But his anxiety has increased lately. As well as his panic attacks.

"Yeah, I'm feeling better. I'm good. Thank you, John."

He doesn't say any of that. John already thinks he's fragile. In a very specific way though. Bucky knows Gale is very strong and he is the most composed and all that stuff. But he also knows what's stuffed under all of that. And that's this. Because every emotion he pushes down goes down there and one day that place will explode and Buck has no idea what will happen to him then. He just hopes John will be with him.

A noise. They hear chattering coming closer to the barracks. John's body jumps up and he lets himself have a second to calm down. He then looks at Gale, with those beautiful blue eyes and whispers to his ear:

"I'm here whenever. Don't forget about me, love."

He licks the shell of his ear and Gale shivers as John's wet tongue meets his skin. It was a gesture, Gale didn't understand what it meant exactly, but John was telling him something.

When he hears a click and the doors open, John is dutifully sitting on his bed reading his book. Gale didn't quite understand how he got there, but it didn't matter. He probably dazed away, too occupied with the linger of John's tongue on his ear.

He fell asleep as he was replaying the sound of John's "don't forget about me, love" in his head over and over again. And he thinks, how could he ever forget? How on earth could you forget about John Egan?

You simply can't.

[freckliedan]

jam do you think we're getting BIG 2 (Basically I'm Gender)?

hi teo this is a: really good question. here's the thing. i can have an answer for you but first i have to explain that it's not a prediction up to my usual standards and why?

because. my usual standards are very high. in 2017/18 it was easy? there was no break in data for us to pattern recognize them based off of. and i took them for their word on things + was able to refine my thoughts in conversations with @freckliephil to the point it was somewhat uncanny what we were right about.

we fully called that dan and phil would come out in separate videos with something longer & more serious from dan + shorter and less intense from phil a year to a year and a half before they came out. we'd discussed that the bullying dan experienced included a physical aspect and that that was the reason having his neck touched by people was triggering before ii toured. the list of detailed things we were right about goes on for a stupid length of time.

and it's just not possible to predict what they're doing next in the same way in this era! in 2018/19 they had been in the public eye for their entire adult lives and we have an excess of information from those 10 years! but now it's been five years—a third of their relationship—without that kind of data.

they didn't vanish completely but dan spent that time as out of the public eye as possible, phil has always been better with keeping his walls up, and we had absolute minimal joint content.

they were able to change massively AND AUTHENTICALLY when free from public scrutiny. especially dan! and we just don't have the fucking data to use for accurate pattern recognition in making predictions anymore.

there's still aspects of who dan and phil are as people that haven't changed and never will, and we have the era of complete data on them to compare the present to. so like. it's not fully impossible to predict things. there's definitely areas in which it's possible to make accurate predictions. but in no world will i claim my thoughts on dan addressing gender is one of them!

that said. even if i cannot confidently predict the details of what's coming with dan gender, it's as clear to me that dan has gender going on as it is that he is gay. that's a fact to me because i am in the practice of taking dan for her word.

when it comes to predictions here's where i'm at. i'm completely confident gender mentions will continue to escalate. i also think that at some point dan's going to comment directly on their gender. but i go back and forth on whether a dan gender video essay will ever exist? and so do @freckliephil and @phulge when we discuss this.

i think dan always puts a lot of thought into things, enough so to make a video essay on gender viable for him. if she waits like a year i could see that being what happens?

but on the other hand. i do not think that gender exploration is as charged and significant in dan's life as their gayness. he experienced so much trauma around how people percieved his sexuality from childhood onwards!

gender is difficult to navigate in a cisnormative society and almost always impossible to separate from sexuality but i don't think it's something that she would be inclined to make into as big of a moment & conversation as basically i'm gay.

it could be something as simple as pronouns in bio i suppose? but if so i think it would be commented on at the start of the next gaming channel video too. the biggest thing i can picture is phil starting to quite clearly use different pronouns for dan in different gaming channel videos in a way that's just. very normal about it. a "this is an everyday occurence" way. + this being consistant with the way dan genders themself too.

i do see this happening sooner than a year from now, but i don't know for sure when? pride is a convenient time for it. i think there's a 100% chance they're doing something insane this month, in part because they fucking LOVE dramatic timing and big gestures.

i don't think dan gender will be the main focus of what happens this month, but i'm open to being pleasantly surprised.

i think they're hard launching this year, this month or in october. i think wedding photos being shared is one of the more likely hard launch options. and i think if they're wedding launching that dan would say something about gender beforehand or in conjunction with it?

if in conjunction, it could be as simple as the title spouse being used for dan in an instagram caption? but the reason i think it's possible as something that happens beforehand is because marriage is such a major (and gendered) experience that it makes sense to want to be known and seen accurately as your whole self when it happens in your life.

again. the only thing i'm completely certain on here is that dan has some kind of gender going on and that it feels LIKELY that it'll be addressed some time in the next year. the rest is just probabilities. thank you for coming to my ted talk.

[terresdebrume]

"You can put your things here if you want."

Niko, who was trying and failing to find a free spot on the bench that lines up the dance studio, turns to the newcomer with a grateful sigh.

"Thank you," she says, "I didn't want to put my things on a stranger's bag and make them think I'm rude."

The man who approached her smiles. He has nice, dark eyes and dark skin, a long curved nose, and the sort of smile that never fails to put Niko at ease. She doesn't how to ask what his name is, so she sets her eyes on the golden hoop dangling from his left ear and waits. It only takes him a beat to say:

"Oh, I'm Charles, by the way."

"I'm Niko. And now we're no longer strangers."

She turns and puts her bright blue bag over Charles' well worn black one, then turns back around and makes her way to where the rest of the participants have already gathered in a circle. At first, Niko can't see Ashley, but it's only takes a few seconds to find her on the opposite side of the room, happily chatting with one of the older men.

Niko hesitates. Ashley is the only reason she's even here: there are too many people here for her to ever spontaneously join, and she knows nothing about dancing. Even when she listens to her favorite music at home and there's no one to see her dance, she rarely dares to do more than shake her hands a little. She looks around, discomfited, as the teacher asks everyone to form a circle around the studio and Ashley stays next to the older man, but before she has the time to worry about being on her own, Charles appears by her side with a smile.

"Hi again," he says, and Niko doesn't know him, but right now his face is the most familiar after Ashley's, and she is grateful for her presence. She nods at him, although she can't make herself smile, and he asks: "Is this your first time?"

"Yes," Niko says. Then, the words tumbling out of her: "I'm nervous because I followed my friend here but now she's making new friends and I have no idea what to do."

"Oh, I think we'll start with Road Map," Charles says with a nod towards the painter's tape on the floor that divides the studio into quarters. "The Boss will ask us a question, then assign an answer to each section, and you'll move to the one that applies to you."

Niko nods. This is a simple game, with simple rules, and no one is asking her to dance yet, which is just ast well. She can handle this first activity without too much trouble, she's sure. That is: she's sure of it, until something occurs to her.

"What happens if none of the answers fit you?" She asks, trying to keep her voice low as the teacher explains the rules of the game to the rest of the group.

"Then you either pick the closest answer or you stay in the middle," Charles says.

Niko nods again. Charles is wearing dance sneakers, she notices then. Someone drew tiny ghosts and skulls in white lines on the black fabric, and Niko almost smiles. Somehow, the sight of those quirky little faces makes her feel a little less like the odd one out with her sparkly blue shoes. She keeps looking at Charles' shoes while the teacher asks people to pick between ice cream flavors. Niko moves into the vanilla square with one of the three elderly women, a boy who can't be older than seventeen, and a person who went out of her way to look neither male nor female. When Niko looks up to confirm Ashley joined the strawberry square, she finds Charles standing in the middle of the studio on his own.

"Mr. Rowland," the teacher says with the tone of someone rolling their eyes a little bit, "may I ask why you didn't join the caramel and butter square?"

"You didn't say if it was salted or not," Charles says with a shrug and a grin that makes Niko chuckle. "That's an important point to specify, Boss."

A few people smile or even laugh at Charles' answer, and Niko thinks the room feels a little less tense after that. The next questions are about favorite animals (Niko goes to the 'cats' square, opposite Charles' 'dogs'), favorite color (Niko's is pink, Charles stays in the middle again for turquoise) and how spicy people like their food (Niko goes to the 'mildly' suare, and Charles goes to the 'very spicy' square with three other people). Then the teacher asks how many country everyone lived in, and Niko is alone in the 'three' square, with Charles next to her in the 'two' square.

"Can I asked where you lived?" Charles asks when they go back to the outskirts of the dancefloor to wait for the next activity.

"Japan, the US, and here," Niko says.

Charles looks like he's going to say something but then the teacher, a red-haired woman with a strong scottish accent and impeccable posture, announces the next activity. This time, they are supposed to find as many movements to do as there are syllables in their full names. Niko is grateful that she has no middle name and terrified by the exercise all at once. Well, there are other steps in the middle, but once they've gone through A-nu-mi-ta Mar-lowe, A-shley Wil-son and Charles Row-land, it's Niko's turn. She feels like she might explode every time she claps her hands as she introduces herself as Ni-ko Sa-sa-ki, and then there are only two other people after her before they are all instructed to turn away from the circle and start practicing their moves.

Niko's name is five syllables, and she has no idea how she's going to come up with five whole moves! A glance to her left shows E-ri-ca Ngo-si has a similar issue, which is a little reassuring. To the right, however, Charles is stretching his arms over his head, seemingly unconcerned. Niko can't help staring.

"Are you not going to do the exercise?"

"I already did," Charles says with a wink. "It's my third session here, and we always do that game. I've got it down pat by now."

"Oh, you're lucky," Niko says with a sigh. "I have no idea what to do. I don't know how to dance yet!"

"It's okay," Charles tells her with another one of his smiles. "We're going to play the game again, you know. If you don't like your movements very much, you can always change them."

"I really don't want to get it wrong," Niko says, frowning.

"I promise you can't. There's no wrong answer there."

Niko nods, because she understands that. The issue is that if there is no wrong answer, then there is also no correct answer, which is more stressful to deal with. Still, she wants to follow the instructions correctly, and that means coming up with something. It takes her a few minutes of thinking to figure out the impression she wants to give, but in the end she decides to start by fingerspelling Niko with a small bounce, then three sparkle hands for the syllables of 'Sasaki'. It's a good thing she's doing this exercise in England, she thinks. In Japan, she would have had to start with the sparkle hands and end with the more muted gestures, as if she started out bubbly and calmed down over time, which is the oposite of truth.

Eventually, they go around the circle. Ashley does the robot for her gestures, and everyone learns her movement and her name in no time. When Charles' turn comes, with his bold Indian dance moves, it takes Niko a couple of tries to get it right, but she doesn't give up, and in the end she is the one who replicates his gestures the best. Then she shares her name and her dance movement, expecting her turn to go like everyone else's. Instead, before anyone can repeat her name, Charles asks:

"Was that fingerspelling?"

"Yes," Niko says, wondering if she's meant to apologize for not picking an actual dance move, but before she can do that, Charles exclaims:

"Aces! Show me again?"

Niko does, a smile overtaking her face beyond her control. She likes Charles, she decides. Likes that he went out of his way to help her, likes the easy way with which he accepted her questions, likes his enthusiasm in the face of something that doesn't technicaly quite fit the assignment they were given. She likes him even more during the next activity, when they have to consider a whole list of things about dancing and he explains a bunch of them to Niko, with demonstrations when needed. And by the time the teacher shows them their first, very simple dance step and Charles makes silly faces to make her laugh, Niko is decided to attend the next class, whether Ashley enjoyed herself or not.

This snippet takes place in the I'm down on my knees universe and will eventually be cleaned up and posted on AO3 x)

[littlemagicalstardust]

FULL SUMMARY OF CLOSE UP W/ RENEE PAQUETTE & CHUCK (Notes of everything mentioned/talked about) - The beginning of the video Renee & Chuck reminisce about Double or Nothing and 5 years of AEW. - Begins with Renee asking what we all wanted to know. Asking Chuck about the injury, what happened, etc. - During October until Now, Chuck never felt lost or dark being away from wrestling and in-ring. He got to play video games, watch some movies, hang out. He was still mostly on the road because he's trying to learn stuff backstage and it's something he was always interested in! - Mentions of being hopeful about returning one day, just like the many others who had "career-ending injuries" and returned. - He thinks if he had to adjust his style in-ring and continue, he could. It could be possible. - Working backstage: he's really enjoyed it. Little chatter occurred. - Mentally switching roles (in-ring to backstage), he always enjoyed it about wrestling. Planning things about matches and helping others do that. Backstage, he was worried people would think he's not good but everyone was really hype and saying he would be good at stuff backstage <3 - He went into the parking lot match with the thought of it possibly being the last one. He went to a putt-putt bar a few days after and the bartender asked if he had a cat (due to the aftermath of the match) and Chuck didn't want to get into it, so he said he was in a car accident, lol. - Creatively, he couldn't have asked for a better way to go out, if he never returns in-ring. <3 - Little talk about Best Friends break up. How it feels weird OC/Trent were against each other for the DoN PPV. Little mentions of Chuck/Trent tag teaming for years and knowing Orange for so long & used to live together. - Mentions of favourite Chikara matches, he has favourite matches in other various promotions. He feels his best run was in PWG, before AEW began. He's proud of the parking lot matches and Arcade Anarchy. - Talks about making children cry in the early days, lol. How he loved being a heel and how more fun and easier it is. - Random little talk moment - For 23 years, he's packed his bag the exact same way. Talks a little about how this is and how his wallet too has to be the exact same way or he panics. For his Dustin bags, you could give him whatever and he'd pack it full of random stuff. - Little chatter of games and what games he's playing. He really likes spooky games. - Chatter about what he's doing outside of wrestling, producing, etc. Talking about in Vegas and what games he'd play in the casino. - The surgery isn't an emergency. After the summer, he's hoping to get it done. He wants to learn more of the backstage producing stuff and then leave and come back. - Chatter about wrestling and talking about in general and what it means to him. He'd love to be a manager, commentator, etc. Hopefully something in-front of camera too. Renee said if he wants to do shows with her and RJ to let them know. They'd happily welcome him in. <3

[tswwwit]

Wait, does the cheating thing on the bond always works? bcs that would be kinda freaky for R!Dipper like imagine you get pinned down by someone in the corner of a br or smthng and then said person kissed you and proceeded to explode into red mist and you literally have no idea what happened.

Also, would the constellation mark be a "cursed" Mark over the years, like you would give birth to a baby and the doctor says "😟 I am so sorry ma'am,,, I'm afraid your baby has the Cipher Companion mark. ( could also be something equally as science-y like Ursa Major, Constellation Calamation, etc idk)" And you just burst into tears.

Would that mean that dipper would get into a special program(demon wrangling program or smthng, demonologist? Maybe)? Or would the parents hide it away hoping that Bill would never take their child away?

(Sorry this au is just very interesting to me,,,, I hope u get more motivation, keep writing author 💪)

These are all options! The fun part of reincarnation AU being left ambiguous is that technically any of them could happen.

[mokeonn]

One of my favorite things about being in my early 20s is that I'm starting to understand that I can use things not for their intended purpose. When you're growing up, you get told what an object is and what its intended purpose is, and as a kid/teen, I just accepted all of it at face value. As a young adult it's finally clicking that I can simply do things a different way if it makes me happier. Sure, I was taught that you stand to take a shower, but there's nothing stopping me from just sitting if I don't feel like it, ya know? I might have always had my medication in the kitchen, but if I'm no longer remembering to take it, I can just move it somewhere where I can remember. You don't have to specifically store all food in the kitchen, you can have a little snack cart or snack station in another room.

The downside to finding out the various ways you can use objects is that you develop habits that would probably go on an r/relationships post where everyone says you're a little freak.

[floralovebot]

helia is obv meant to be androgynous and bishounen but I get why people would think he was designed to be a woman initially because his name is a woman's name actually. helia is a girls name. also, compared to avalon or other long haired characters, he's also somewhat more different.

I don't think it's too far fetched. some language groups like greek fans could have other pov. in latin american spanish his name was changed to helio for this very reason.

i know his name is feminine. that still means nothing tbh

sky is a popular girl's name in the west. does that mean he's automatically a girl? like no of course not. no one is arguing that sky is a woman just because of his name. griffin is a masculine latin name. don't see anyone questioning her. if his name is the Only proof people have that helia was meant to be a girl, that's weak when other characters also have feminine/masculine names that don't align with their canon gender.

also, you need to ask yourself, what is different about helia? like actually answer that question. what exactly makes helia different from characters like palladium, valtor, or avalon. it's not his body - helia has the same muscular body the other specialists have and he's one of the few male characters we see shirtless on screen. it can't be pacifism - he's not a pacifist and pacifism is not a feminine trait. it can't be art or poetry - neither of those things are feminine traits/hobbies. it can't be his fashion - he's just wearing a shirt and jeans. if anything his wardrobe would be considered more masculine compared to the crop tops the other specialists are wearing (even for the time). it can't be his personality - nabu is also wiser and gentler, timmy is also a simp, brandon is also caring.

so what exactly makes helia different from other long haired male characters?

nothing. that's your answer.

the only thing that makes helia So different is that other long haired male characters are often coded as white Or specifically have darker skin, so fans don't feel the need to question their masculinity (which is a Whole other discussion). helia is not coded as white. even fans who don't consciously realize it are still picking up on that coding. these white fans then feel comfortable questioning his masculinity because they've done that to men of color for decades. it's not just asian men either. white people love to question the masculinity of all men of color, regardless of race or skin color. that's how they demean them. how they separate them from white men. they uphold certain racial and gender stereotypes and then demean any man who "doesn't fit that". which in their eyes, is all men of color.

it's like this: man of color doesn't adhere to western/white/european cultural standards > white people realize, don't like, insult them, and try to make them feel like they need to adhere > white men prioritize the patriarchy and feel the need to glorify it > in order to insult men of color, they specifically call out and question their masculinity > white people around the world think this is genuinely innocent because it focuses on gender instead of race > white racists get away with it

listen, i know at first this seems like a really harmless and maybe even amusing topic. "oh helia is so pretty people think he's a girl ahahah". and for some fans it is genuinely harmless. they just think he's too pretty to be a man. and then they realize, laugh it off, and don't question it again.

unfortunately, that's not the case for a lot of other fans. it's not innocent. it's not harmless. it's white people picking up on racial coding and questioning his identity because of it. you guys don't do this to other characters. you don't do it to sky, who also has a "feminine" name. you don't do it to palladium, who is slimmer and has a gentler, nicer personality. you don't do it to saladin. or nabu. or ogron. or gantlos. or anagan. or tritannus. or nereus. or king neptune. or king teredor.

all of those names are male characters with long hair.

i know it's nice to assume that this is innocent and genuine. but unfortunately, that's not the case. this is an example of something that isn't innocent for a majority of adult, white fans. even if they're not doing it On Purpose. subconscious bias is called that for a reason.

[batemanofficial]

hello upper middle class northern usamerican tumblr user. i want to play a game. you will notice that you are in a super america convenience store in rural kentucky - you have three minutes to purchase a snack and drink of your choice and make normal small talk with the cashier. however, if you use the word "cryptid" or generally make reference to appalachia and its inhabitants as "wild", uncivilized, or lacking restraint around alcoholic beverages during your time here, i will personally tie you to the chassis of a four wheeler and tip it into the river. live or die. make your choice

[giantkillerjack]

Me, 4 years ago: Boy, I sure love the song "Guitar Hero" by Amanda Palmer! But I can never clearly hear what it is she shouts in this one segment - I'll just look it up real quick!

...

[it was the n-word]