#none of that pedestal shit for us

[starlooove]

Reading isn’t enough I need to start beating white ppls asses

[mejomonster]

Reminding myself at least im not writing a story about a 30-40 year old guy still hung up over a lost lover he varely knew/ex wife/missing wife who he idolizes to the point she's an object barely a person and when she is a person it clashes with the ideal hes longing for, and he thinks hes this rebel poor guy but hes got mega cash and can afford an LA/San Francisco/New York home AND a vacation because hes Got vacation time(?) Or just so money secure he can afford 1+ months not working, oh and he's probably a self employed artist who "has no ideas" and is lamenting it even though hes got enough money to indulge his trip to the Weird Scary Rural place so clearly the situation isnt dire. Oh and he has a drinking problem. He doesnt know whats real or not, but since hes alread deluding himself about his Imaginary Idolized Woman and Pretending Hes Poor... who can really say if hes seeing any scary wild shit at all or hes just dramaticizing the mundane (or lying)

At least im not writing a guy like that

[sweetpastillas]

pitting fob's return and p!atd's subsequent death against each other in my head like im drafting an old harry potter vs twilight essay lol

[adhdstudybitch]

Currently, at work, there's a debate about whether my coworker (who sprained his ankle and needs a chair at the register) is faking his disability. And every single time I tell someone "debating whether someone is faking disability sets a horrible precedent wherein you think you're allowed to determine who is and isn't disabled, who does and doesn't 'deserve' accommodations, and just serves to harm disabled people by setting impossible standards that force us to injure ourselves to prove that we're "disabled enough" in your eyes," it's immediately followed up with "okay but here's why I think he's faking it."

One coworker was like "but you're different, you actually work hard-" like yeah dude because if I don't I'm afraid you'll think I'm faking and guess what I'M RIGHT. YOU FUCKING WILL. But thanks for confirming that, in your eyes, I'm one of "the good disabled people" who don't "force" you to have to remember or acknowledge our disabilities by, you know, existing in the same space as you. Love the pedestal you've put me on, can't wait for your reaction when I inevitably fall off it! Can't wait for the day when I can't just "push through" and be a hard worker in your eyes, anymore.

Yesterday's cherry on top of the workplace ableism is when another coworker was complaining about the one she thought was faking it and said "I'm so annoyed, I just want to hide the chairs." The chairs. Plural. Because one of those chairs is MINE. So these righteous assholes think that because they don't like this dude (and believe me, that is why they're doing this. He gets on all of their nerves, including mine half the time) they think it's okay to threaten to remove every disability aid in sight. Cuz fuck the people who need them, who gives a shit about that when I can fuck over this one dude I don't like, right?

And this is what is what I mean when I tell my coworkers that it goes beyond this one coworker. It's the precedent you're setting. It's the way you're willing to screw over every disabled person if you even so much as think someone is faking and taking advantage of accommodations (and what's the massive violation in this case? What are we cheating the system out of? Oh, standing in one place for long periods of time, a behavior that we know fucks people's bodies up? Wow, gasp, how awful, poor corporate bastards not being able to break every single person they hire *eye roll*) it's the way abled people will claim they're trying to protect disabled people when they're actively harming us and refusing to listen or even doubling down when we try to education them. It's the way I told my coworker that I break myself every shift just to make sure none of those fuckers have any reason to say that I'm being lazy, just so he could roll his eyes at me like I'm being dramatic.

I'm just over it. I shouldn't even be working right now. My whole care team wants me to go on disability but that shit isn't enough to live on, and I don't have any other choices. I gotta work. I gotta work myself into the fucking ground, I gotta be ten times better than all of them, just to hear some abled asshole talk about hiding my chair cuz she's mad at a different disabled coworker. It's fucking disgusting.

(Edit: okay to reblog)

[in-sufficientdata]

ID: Bluesky post by Ro Salarian (@RoSalarian.bsky.social):

I often wonder if abusive people are drawn to the arts, or if a certain amount of notoriety just makes people turn to shit. I am involved in a lot of different art scenes, and every single one has a whisper network about some big names who nobody feels they can address directly.

Kelly Barnhill (@KellyBarnhill.bsky.social) quotes this on July 10, 2024 at 6:47pm EST and responds:

Sexual predation is clearly not limited to the arts, and so-called "whisper networks" exist in every profession. And ultimately these networks always, always fail. They don't reach the most vulnerable and they don't ever remove the offender or prevent future harm. end ID.

At the source, the thread continues:

When I was growing up, I had a friend whose house had a bad stair - a nail sticking up on one side, and on the other side if you stepped wrong, the whole tread could flip up and send you flying backwards. We had to be told to avoid that stair. It was dangerous. We couldn't forget.

The trouble was, it looked like every other stair. Sometimes we did get hurt. This went on for years. Finally, one of the other parents in the neighborhood was like THE CHILDREN ARE GETTING INJURED and the whole "rule" of avoidance, of letting people know, was thrown out. They fixed the stair.

Now, this was dumb, of course. Who just has a stair that looks like every other stair but is boobytrapped in this bonkers way? Well, lots of people, as it turned out. And this wasn't so bad, as injuries go - a skinned knee or the occasional puncture wound.

Imagine if they had a stair that was, say, secretly filled with bees. Or poisoned. Or a one-way portal to one of the various realms of Hell. And it was there, like any other stair, looking benign. Maybe it was even fancied up - attracted the eye and tickled the fancy. A rock star stair. Well.

It's problematic, is my point. Leaving a danger in plain view is problematic. Simply relying on a network of people warning people and washing our hands of the whole affair is problematic. And worse, it abdicates responsibility. This is not how grown-ups should behave.

Part of the problem stems from the Myth of Male Genius - organizations twist themselves in knots to protect their access to whatever Male Genius they've tied their careers to, be they philosophers or physicists, conductors or or inventors, teachers or hotshot attorneys. We've all experienced this.

And while it's [notallmen] or [notonlymen] or whatever tagline you want to throw at me - yes, I know, and yes, I agree, and yes I'm certain that toxic and predatory women exist and have also harmed but I honestly can't think of any at the moment - it all stems from a central problematic fallacy:

Here's a toxic fallacy that I'd like to see dismantled: that genius is rare. That it must be protected at all costs. That it must be allowed to misbehave because the misbehavior is tied to genius in some fundamental way that none of us can understand because we are not geniuses. WRONG.

For every "rockstar author" or "rockstar artist" or "rockstar scientist" or "rockstar academic" there are a thousand others who are just as talented, just as transformative, just as consequential. And by ascribing godlike abilities to those who are more ordinary than we'd like to admit, we allow the person on that pedestal to become unglued from consequence and unhooked from the ties that are supposed to bind us to one another. This is a moral injury and an injury of empathy as well. So it's bad for the "rockstar". And holy hell is it bad for every person they injure. And worse, what about the "genius" of the victims? What about the dreams deferred and the paths upended because the world they've entered has decided to make itself unacceptably dangerous, unacceptably callous. A busted stair in the middle of the ascent in some young woman's career, left for no reason.

Here's what I know: genius isn't godlike or magical or even that rare. Genius is cultivated, nurtured, supported, delighted in. It happens in the context of a myriad of tiny boosts, too numerous to count and too subtle to name. It is as common as breath, and just as precious.

The reason why predatory men are lauded, protected, demurred to, is because we've told a story to ourselves that their genius is special, and have allowed ourselves to believe that the only way to become special ourselves is to bathe in its light, regardless of consequence.

Let's be done with that story. Cultivate more lights. Be the light.

And also? Let's fix that fucking stair, shall we?

[circuscountdowns]

Crude Timeline/Breakdown of my goofy Cult of the Lamb drawings if you’re interested:

The whole premise for this i guess au? Started during my first run, I already knew the game was about kill god become god, but Did Not know you could Marry the god youd betray??? Or indoctrinate him???. Like I didn't even choose the Marriage Doctrine cuz I'm like boo r u kidding me I'm choosing violent Battle Pit always. Which Lambert wouldn't know any of this in the beginning either but the big deciding factor is: 

Lamb is going into it with the mindset of Kill All Gods for what they've done to the sheep (sorry my benefactor, ur included <3) Kratos style lets go, none spared.

That being said, they have a lot of devotion towards Death, I like to think the Sheep folk prayed to The One Below for quick passings knowing they're a huge sacrificial species, and because sheep with their huge herd mentality, the worship flowed heavily which is a threat therefore that plus prophecy equals Slaughter. 

So with TOWW, they play along and genuinely mean they're serving death because they worshiped Death as a concept, a divine entity. They believe when they “kill” TOWW they'll still be “together” because Death is unkillable right (and the lamb would never have to be alone again right). Something new will be written thats the both of us as one.

So in between crusading Lamb and TOWW get closer (i am going to take your throne but that doesn't mean we can't have fun banter or that i don't really really enjoy ur compliments and attention ((because I love kittys…))) and that's when the comic about tanking happens. 

But oh no! Through their journey Lamb discovers that TOWW is actually a Bishop, chained for a petty family squabble??? Has a name and it’s Narinder???? 

The revelation kinda breaks something in their head. it upsettingly humanizes the Bishops, trivializes the death of their people, and takes TOWW off the pedestal they'd placed him on. Uh ohhhh how does this change things i mean I'm still gonna kill all the gods but what does it mean to be a god is it just a crown whats going to happen to Narinder is it actually Narinder I like ?? (And i had a comic for this time planned but idk if ill get to it)

Meanwhile Narinders opinion on the Lamb has so far just been Wow im so proud, I chose good yay I'm gonna be free (why do I feel like I could be free from their devotion alone?) (why are they just like me fr?) 

When Narinder is defeated and they have the choice, the lamb feels they betray both their people for not keeping their promise to kill all gods, but also their Faith and Narinder, v conflicting. 

After indoctrination, Narinder does his typical Isolation, depression, and Lamb mourns what they'd had. In their loneliness, they stop allowing their cultists to die for long. They do all Narinders quests, and when it comes to the resurrection he's like Haha I remember why I liked you. But also he can exploit this. That's the time of the Resurrection comic.

He tries to micromanage from there, if he can't be the god being worshiped rn he's going to control the god. Starts off with whispering insecurities of Your cultists will find a way to leave you, be firmer. Gods should do this, have this, they'll leave if you don't. Lamb knows what he's doing and mostly humors him to keep him around but over time they've just both started to build a proper relationship again. He successfully ironically becomes their right hand.

This goes on for a sec before Mystic Seller knocks on da door like Hello do your joobbbb. And thats a kick enough to get Lamb out of their misery shit to really consider their original plan of killing gods and what exactly they want Death to Mean. (Comes to a conclusion that death is a peace that has to be earned. Through living.)

Bringing Leshy back brings a rift and arguments between Narinder and Lamb. That's when the Narinder Confessional comic happens and he lets out just how hurt he was by Lambs betrayal (cuz that seems to be all anyone ever does to him lol except for his sons)

So as a sort of reconciliation! Lamb brings back Aym and Baal. Yay! That's that comic, where Narinder tries to say it doesn't affect him so Lamb forces them to be together. Aym and Ball stay in the cult for a good while as Lamb works to free Heket, but Narinder is still super giving Lamb the cold shoulder. When Heket is indoctrinated Narinder gets angry again that he has no say on the matter. 

Lamb starts sneaking off to sit in the confessional booth at night and it gets Narinders attention. He follows them in and hears them speak about essentially their motivations and beliefs described earlier. I have a half finished comic of this to partner with Narinder’s confessional, with Lamb’s being more down to earth and kinda just explanatory of the whole timeline but who knows if ill finish it tbh

Narinder reassesses his feelings for Lamb after that.

Right after Lamb's confessional would be when the Baal and AYm comic happens, and Narinder asks for his last request of going on a mission, fully committing to living a life.

Cue big ambiguous gap of time where Lamb gets the other siblings, yada yada healing and dealing. Shamura in the pillory comic happens, the bishops are Not happy about it, but Shamura's only locked up for a night.

Probably takes a hundred or two years for the siblings being comfortable enough around each other and theres a lot less venom being spat out. Idk gods grudges be lasting forever sometimes. Eventually They can start having family game nights, cue that comic. Everyones tired of the shit Lamb and Narinders got going on. 

Lamb still thinks Narinder doesnt have romantic feelings for them. Best friends til the end me and my god, never mind the tense flirting. Lamb does that with everyone. (cursed with flirty asexual disease) For Narinder its that he shouldnt have to say anything everyone should just know that the Lamb is his. Straight up if Lamb asked him, do you love me hed say yes in every sense, but though he is aware of how he feels and would be honest on approach, an immortal relationship/marriage?? It is a lot to ask of the lamb, that has to be a decision they make. Hes content as is.

but No Way could Lamb ask that without a safety net.  So when Lamb realizes Oh its like. romantic jealousy? Interesting lets see how far i can push it, announces they will be choosing a spouse (due to a wager lost they reason, depending on who asks) (the siblings who know of Shamura’s deal, watch in mild amusement at how absolutely wired this gets their brother. No one helps him.) fine for narinder If they get married thats up to them but hes gonna make sure theyre worthy of his vessel first. Marriage is just a title compared to what he and the Lamb have. 

Cue comic i have planned that is Such a funny idea to me but im not liking how its turning out so who knows. But they get married yay! 

Some years later kudaai has offered to make the lamb their own weapon. They go on a little trip to the spot they were sacrificed, now very overgrown and forgotten, and find their chains to make their weapons. 

far future comic

many many many years later Lamb death comic.

that’s it for now. I’ll add more if ideas come but this is context if you’d like. Feel free to ask questions, I’m rotating these fellas in my head

[honeytonedhottie]

how to deal with mean girls ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🧘🏽‍♀️

im making this post bcuz the world AND high school is filled with mean ppl, and this post just serves as some reminders to not let anyone disrupt ur peace bcuz mean is ugly.

SHOW AND HAVE NO FEAR - okay, let's be critical for just a moment. anyone talking shit about u or hating on u in general, they literally do not MATTER. literally who even are they? take them off of the pedestal and realize that they are just like everybody else.

take a step back and realize that someone talking badly about u says more about themselves than it says about you. and someone's "beef" with u has nothing to do with u actually.

someone who is achieving what they want in life and someone who's genuinely glowing and happy won't go out of their way to talk badly about someone. them doing so only proves that they're unhappy with themselves. only a bummy person would do that.

DONT BE STUPID - please please please dont try and "be nice" to them. if ur gonna be nice to someone who's being nasty to you, they're just gonna use that to perpetuate their hurtful actions.

DONT BE A DOORMAT - if they're glancing at u from across the room, and trying to intimidate you, GLANCE AT THEM BACK. im not gonna say "match their energy" bcuz thats not the message i want to convey to you guys. im not telling u to be nasty or spread rumors back or be rude, but dont let urself get walked all over.

CHANGE HOW U SEE THEM - this ties in with my first point which was that the ppl hating on u are like everyone else. but something that helps me deal with mean girls is just to think of them like they're some kind of idiot. that way im not gonna get triggered or mad when they act like an idiot yk? and another thing, when ur name is always in other ppl's mouths, that makes them a fan, not a hater.

WHY DO PPL HATE - people can hate for so many different reasons but one that i've noticed a lot is that the ppl who hate on u are genuinely unhappy with themselves and not at peace. also, people who hate on you can hate out of JEALOUSY or simply because they're crappy ppl. whatever their reason is, its none of ur business

PROTECTING UR PEACE - get ur mind off of it if its a lot for u and do something else ✨ pour ur energy -> into something else. do a face mask, do some journalling, paint ur nails. dont waste energy and thought on something unfavorable.

[eff-plays]

So my problem with AA stans claiming to be "dark romance enjoyers" is that it's uuh. Incorrect.

I'm a fantasy romance writer and I have been in the same circles as dark romance enjoyers and writers. Like full on omegaverse non-con type shit. I don't like it myself and think it's wack, but the reasoning of the people who enjoy it is that they have lingering shame around wanting sex, around purity culture, potentially homophobia with men who enjoy omegaverse stuff, so a bigstrong alpha man who forces them to enjoy something they secretly want is a sexual fantasy to them. They can hold onto that "purity" and "innocence" and not have any shame around wanting sex, because technically someone else is forcing it on them. They can explore that safely within fiction, and don't necessarily want that to happen to them IRL, unless it's within kink scenes etc. And yeah I don't get it, but it is something people do and own doing, and I can't stop them so as long as they're doing it over there, it's none of my business.

But AA fans claim to love the "dark romance" of it, but then turn around and say that no!! He's NOT abusive!! He's NOT going to assault or mind-control Tav, it's NOT an unhealthy relationship, they're EQUALS and he ADORES them and won't disrespect them!! Just look at the backlash to the "kneel" kiss, people who got so mad that Tav looks distraught.

But look at what BW said in the infamous Discord screenshot: it's fine to enjoy the fantasy, but it's not healthy in-universe. The game itself says "maybe you enjoy degrading yourself."

But AA stans looked at that and went "UM NO!!! IT IS HEALTHY!! I'M BEING SHAMED!!! >:(" and "OH POOR BABY THINKS HE'S BELOW US AND THAT'S WHY HE THINKS WE'RE DEGRADING OUTSELVES!!"

And that's where my problem stems from.

An actual dark romance enjoyer would be like "ough yes Daddy Astarion brainwash me and make me your brainless little fuckdolll sex slave and make me take your cummies every day." Not "YAAS BABE YOU AND ME ARE EQUALS AND PARTNERS IN CRIME UWU UWU UWU (ignores all the red flags and pretends they don't exist)!!!"

So like. You claim you enjoy dark romance, but you're constantly, desperately trying to erase the actual, in-game, canon darkness of it. Any hint of it you try to excuse away, or blame on the writers, or say is OOC and wrong.

You whine and complain about "fixers" and "moralizers" and "fandom police," but you yourself are policing the very romance you claim to enjoy by sanitizing it and making it into something more palatable instead of accepting how dark it actually is.

I've yet to see any AA stan have a Tav who's like a brainwashed sex slave, or in an abusive relationship with AA. All of them are just girlbosses who are co-rulers, which leads me to believe you don't enjoy "dark romance," but privilege. That's the thing that gets you off, privilege and power, particularly a priveleged and powerful man putting you on a pedestal and giving you whatever you want, taking care of you, letting you get away with bad things because he has the power to make all your issues go away. (Is this why so many AA stans are also Russian ... who said that)

And that's FINE. But just admit that? Admit that Astarion's story isn't what draws you to him, that you just enjoy the idea of a beautiful man who has power sharing it with you, and AA just happens to have those surface-level traits if you don't engage with or misinterpret the source material. Hell, I'm a villainmancer myself, who's writing a villain origin story for shits and giggles where a girl becomes a war criminal with the loving help of her edgelord goblin king.

But y'all don't do that. And that's the problemo, lads. You made up a story in your head that isn't in the game, you idolize that story, and get mad when people go "Wait, that's not in the game???"

[liquidstar]

Speaking of genderbends tbh mimagau:if is still the most nothingburger what:if route to me. It's just the same thing with everyone's names swapped 😭 I like the characters themselves, and there are some differences because of the gender swap... But none really say much to say- There's no meat. It's just an aesthetic change, which is fine, but doesn't give you much to chew on. I still think it's fun, especially with fan designs but...

I honestly think it would have been more interesting as a story if ONLY Subaru was genderswapped. The way Subaru perceived his masculinity (and wears a mask of it) was an important part of his arc and the way he interacted with other characters. How could that be different if Subaru was a girl?

You'd imagine her whole personality would change but... I don't think so. I think she'd still end up idolizing Kenichi the same way and basically end up in the same place. But I think the way she interacts with other people would be very different, mimagau Subaru works just fine as is. The issue is that since everyone else also changed the interactions stayed fairly similar and the dynamics are only really swapped on the surface.

How would Subaru, who'd consider herself straight, react to Emilia? A best friend? An idol? The amazing beautiful type of girl she could never be? Would she envy her at all? Would "I wanna be like her" come with the undercurrent of "I wanna be with her?" Would she fall in love slowly, then all at once? I imagine the feelings would be far more mixed, and she'd still end up placing Emilia on a pedestal but in a very different way.

On the other hand, Rem... I think Rem would still absolutely fall in love with Subaru in the same way for the same reason. And think about the tension this would cause that's not there in the original dynamic! Think about how the "from zero" speech changes context, the idea that a confession of love from a girl could make Subaru admit and accept her feelings for another girl. To show her that it's okay.

And what about Julius? Would Julius even duel Subaru at all? Julius is the Knight of Knights, known for his chivalry and grace. Beating the shit out of a helpless girl would be such a stain on that reputation, even the other knights probably wouldn't do it. Even if things do go down similarly at the selection hearing, I can't imagine Julius would go as far as he did in canon. Maybe Subaru would feel frustrated and looked down upon since things aren't escalating because of her gender. Maybe she'd escalate them herself

And the idea of Subaru being a knight could have greater importance once you consider it's super male dominated. Proving herself to be just as good as any man would probably be a motivating factor, and her eventual knighting coming because she loved a woman wholly and openly would be a really powerful statement.

Oh and how would Natsumi Schwartz change? (Natsuo Schwartz? idk lol). Main route Subaru uses the Natsumi identity to gain confidence, and does so by accepting his femininity as a source of it. In this route, I imagine Subaru would crossdress as a form of asserting her masculinity and gaining confidence from that. A similar situation but different circumstances (main route Subaru suppressed his femininity, while in this route Subaru would have always kinda been a tomboy trying to prove herself, since they're both emulating Kenichi)

Just think about it.

[stvrpst]

I hate how much bummy shippers downplay and minimize Eddie's trauma in comparison to Bucks. They both have distinct traumas and coping mechanisms, but it's clear that many bummies vilify Eddie when he encounters shit that triggers him and past traumas resurface, causing him to react in a specific way.

They will stop at nothing to protect Buck, very few, if any, will criticize him due to his trauma. That's all well and good, but it's irritating that people are so eager to give in and coddle Buck, while simultaneously condemning Eddie for doing the same shit.

I understand that Eddie is a very private and reticent person, and in contrast to Buck, the writers do not really go into great detail about Eddie's trauma compared to Buck. So, while many of us have a better grasp of Buck's past and his trauma, that doesn't change the fact that Eddie too suffers from deeply ingrained trauma from his early years. similar to Buck.

Every time the writers decide to put buck through more shit and he’s back juggling trauma again it’s,

“Why can’t buck be happy!”

“Stop putting buck through shit!”

“Buck deserves to be happy!”

“Buck deserves to be loved!”

“Buck deserves a fun time!”

Which, sure, I agree with completely, but I wouldn't be irritated with it, if the replies to when the authors put Eddie through more shit and he's back juggling trauma weren't,

“Eddies a dick!”

“Eddies needs therapy!”

“Eddie needs to get his shit together!”

“Eddies not a good friend!”

“Buck deserves better!”

There is an obvious bias. Like, why are some of you unable to treat Buck and Eddies traumas equally? Why is it that some of you have to discuss Buck like he has superiority over Eddie with such a blatant undertone?

Why does Eddie have to work hard and figure out his shit, whereas Buck needs everything and needs it handed to him? This season, there were plenty of examples. Many of you exposed your real selves, and I now understand how you feel about Eddie. It's obvious, in my opinion, that none of you genuinely cared about Eddie.

Y’all seize every chance to vilify Eddie, paint him in a negative light, and denounce everything he does, while continually pointing out his shortcomings and faults, but you will place Buck on a pedestal and treat him like a saint, while disregarding what he has done because "He has trauma and deserves to be loved🥺"

And they only do that with buck btw.

In 7x04, they still found a way to make Eddie the asshole💀.

Yes, he was the asshole because he was innocently enjoying himself with his new friend, with whom he shares interests with. However, Buck couldn't handle that and chose to ACTUALLY hurt Eddie before going to make out with the friend Eddie was hanging out with.

But Eddie is an asshole, right? He's the asshole because he didn't invite Buck to trivia, despite the fact that Eddie has asked Buck several times to play basketball with him, but Buck declined. But as soon as Eddie found a friend eager to accompany him, Buck chose to act like a big dick and hurt Eddie, but Eddie is the asshole in this circumstance, correct?

But the bummies are just cool with it because it worked out well for Buck. so we can overlook the fact that Buck harmed Eddie, because at least he got to kiss a man, so it's all good!

Tommy had barely been here for a minute, and despite the fact that his behavior had nothing to do with trauma at all—rather, he was just a big asshole, Sexist, and a racist—bummies were fighting tooth and nail to defend his actions, but were eager to blame Eddie for his triggered response to Kim, despite the fact that it was prompted and stemmed directly from trauma.

The difference is that they feel comfortable defending Tommy because he has a direct relationship with Buck. If he wasn't with Buck, no one would be fighting to keep that man on the show. If Buck had been a direct victim of Tommy's conduct in season 2, and Eddie ended up with Tommy in season 7, their asses would be mad as fuck.

The truth is, they never truly wanted queer Eddie. They just wanted him to be queer so Buck could have the pleasure of kissing a man. It was never about representation for the both of them; it was only ever about Buck. Which is why they stopped pushing and supporting the idea of queer Eddie the moment Tommy kissed Buck.

They don't like him as a standalone figure. They like him as a stepping stone for Bucks' character.

So, moral of the story, they enjoy disregarding and discounting Eddie's pain since he expresses it and deals with it differently than Buck. And since they were too preoccupied with seeing Eddie as a stepping stone for Bucks' character and queerness alone, they never took the time to truly understand and comprehend Eddie's history, past, and trauma. So as a result, its very hard for them to really perceive Eddie as his own character with depth and complexity because for the longest time, they only viewed him as "the guy that could give us buck kissing men."

[lux-lost]

The angel moves through the halls on soft soles, cautiously quiet. The entities around it are not safe. The angel can feel their eyes on the back of its head. The taste of their gaze lingers on its skin, whispers the things unsaid into its ears. They think the angel is their kin, if suspiciously unusual. But in truth, it is a foreign object that sticks out and could be hammered down at any moment if it draws too much attention. They presume ownership over the angel, and that makes them dangerous. 

The angel’s exoskeleton is tight around its ribs. It warms and hides its form, and yet, that’s not enough. The angel feels the machine in its chest stutter and stumble nervously every once in a while. Every moment is stolen, could be the last. It breathes carefully, holding onto its core for stability.

Someone pulls the angel into a hug and it lets its body be soft and inviting. It feels the same softness from the other side, but none of that makes it past the bright glow of the angel’s aura, which conceals the hard shell tightly laced around its vulnerable parts.

The angel consumes and enjoys some very fucked up things. It is a deviant one, a pervert. Nonetheless its core is so pure and clean, any contact with the outer world could sully it. The angel is not ugly inside, not like other beings. Peeling back the layers only lays bare rosy flesh and silvery scar tissue. No rot, no maggots, no danger.

It is of vital importance to protect its angel core, to conceal it from prying eyes and prodding fingers. If someone witnessed that core, they’d judge the angel for it. They’d think it childish. Or lifeless. Or boring. Their ugly thoughts would dampen its glow. Some might even actively seek to ruin it. 

To keep itself safe, the angel needs to be very closed off. But it cannot be solely solitary. After all, the angel’s presence is a service, a service to those around it. It has to say and do the right things when in the presence of other beings. To uplift. To entertain. To make itself worth their while. 

For this purpose, the angel may occasionally draw upon its core to extend its glow to others. Its light can be used to illuminate the innocent, protect and nurture them as well. It’s the angel’s treasure, all it has to offer to other entities. When it is in their presence, the angel forfeits itself to them. It needs to be invited. It needs to be dismissed. It needs to be told what to do. The angel can provide something to those who need something, but it can’t really take anything.

The angel has to be very careful about what it invites back in when it puts out. Many people have a lot of beauty in them, but then something ugly as well. When eating apples directly from the tree, one has to watch for worms and mold.

The angel cannot just go around getting close to people carelessly. They may bait the angel with beauty, but then trap it in ugliness. They may try to tie it down with tendrils of need and despair, integrate it into their ugly lives, compel it to commit sin. It’s not their fault for having ugly parts, of course. The world is an ugly place after all, it poisons and corrupts. 

The angel is not immune to this corruption either, it gets infested sometimes as well. When that happens, it has to isolate and cleanse itself. Burning the poison away hurts, of course, but better than letting it fester for too long. 

The angel does not demand a pedestal, but it is certainly constructed to be put on one. To really be safe and fulfill its purpose, it needs to be put on one. Even when sullied, it still remembers and longs for its former purity. It’s this need for perfection, the yearning to be a shining idol on a pedestal, that drives its machine parts.

The pedestal, freely given, is its only form of power, the only power a being of its kind is allowed to hold. The angel actually can’t do shit. Its power is fully derived from those who put it on its pedestal. The angel’s light is a farce, nothing but smoke and mirrors for those who want to believe in it.

You have to understand, you may need the angel, but actually, the angel needs you more. It needs you to need it. It only has the worth you give it. It only has value in the needs it can meet. Without your need for its light, it has no reason to pretend it’s shining. It can’t really help you through your misery, but you can feed on its light until you feel better. If you weren’t miserable, you wouldn’t really seek out the angel, would you?

You can draw the angel in by making it feel needed, bind it with attention and affection. It doesn’t take much, just a little bit of kindness. It will attune itself to your needs. You can trust it, it’s loyal. When you don’t need it anymore, it is safe to just abandon it. It is safe to just forget about it. You don’t even have to tell it that you’re discarding it, it will figure that out itself after a while.

[tarotbubbletea]

🍂 PAC Reading: Catharsis 🍂

Hey everyone!

October 2023 was a SHIT month for me. That eclipse season took a major toll on my mental and physical health. I hope you all had an easier time, and if you didn't, trust that you're not alone and I send you all the love you may need at this time 💛

Here's a spread I attempted from Lightwands tarot's Tiktok page on helping with catharsis, ie., helping you pin down and let go of some negative thoughts that may have been living in your head rent-free.

I intend this to be a timeless reading. Take a deep breath and clear your mind. Then pick the picture that you feel most drawn to. If you feel drawn to more than one, feel free to read those piles. If you feel drawn to none, perhaps I don't have a message for you at this time, but hope to have something for you in the future!

Going from left to right, we have piles 1, 2, and 3.

I'd love to hear some feedback! I'm also open for paid personal readings ($3 flat-rate).

Pictures used are not mine.

My kofi ☕

Pile 1

A pressing thought on your mind: King of Cups

Okay this is definitely about a boy. You may be overthinking/obsessing over a connection right now. Perhaps you have this person up on a pedestal and you think they're the best romantic match you could possibly ever have and that being chosen by them would be the best thing to ever happen to you. And maybe that's true. But you have to remind yourself that if you're begging to be chosen, that takes away significantly from your power, and most stable, secure men will want someone that matches them in their power. Some of you may be thinking that this guy has 2 options they're struggling between. For some of you, this may be an ex that you're seeing move on and, frankly, it hurts. If that's the case, I feel you.

Allow the tarot deck to describe the thought back to you in a softer voice: The Emperor

I think you need to remember that there is a bit of logic to relationships as well. Love isn't enough; you do have to think about the kind of life that's possible with your potential partner. You also need to remember that people feel and use their emotions differently than you. Your person may be at a stage where they're approaching partnership more logically. They may be thinking of compatibility in a more mature way at this point. This is a shift that started quite prominently during the pandemic, with casual dating taking a dip in our society. This person may also just be quite exhausted and have decided to just settle down. Love, at some stage, becomes more of a decision than a feeling, and that's where this person is right now. Remember that this is a window into their thought processes, not a judgement on you.

How you're approaching the thought: Justice

You may be self-flagellating a bit, thinking that the reason you're having such a hard time in love and life is because of some of your past mistakes or some karmic debt. And maybe this is true, because we all have karmic debt from this life and from the ones before. Every single person you know has made errors, and more people than you think have skeletons in their closets. We're all a little toxic. It's just the reality of life. And that's okay. That's life (tangent: watch Fleabag!) Maybe it's a little less serious for you and you feel like you're just not enough, or that you just messed up your chance with this person. But ask yourself as objectively as possible, did you? Did you, really? Doesn't this guy have flaws too? Is it possible that neither you nor him are the issue here, but it's really just the relationship/situationship that may not have been a good fit? Maybe you both just weren't mature enough for each other at the time? Maybe it was meant to be temporary? Maybe there were external factors at play? But more importantly, maybe it's not your problem to solve?

How can you release the thought without needing to resolve it right now: Queen of Swords

Step into your power. Get some fresh air. Literally. You've closed yourself in a box. You need to step out and realize how vast the sky really is. How big the world really is. How big your world really is. There needs to be perspective change for you. And you don't need to do this alone. We need community more than ever now. Find a therapist, a trusted friend, maybe even a sibling that keeps it real with you and is genuine. You don't need to find the love of your life, or figure out what this person means for you, if they're a karmic/twin flame/soulmate/what have you right this minute. You don't. Trust me, you don't. Do you want to get asked out/married this very minute? Of course not. It really isn't woo-woo nonsense when people say that what's meant to be, will be. Think of all the times you wanted a situation to play out a certain way and it didn't. It probably worked out better, if you're being honest with yourself. Let go. Let the Universe do what it needs to do. Maybe this will help: The Universe put you in this situation, so let it sort it out. This is the Universe's problem now. You're just the actor. It's the show writers that need to sort this out now. Just vibe in the meantime lol.

Let the thought say one last goodbye: 9 of Swords

Your pain is not for nothing. This will be different for different people, but maybe the pain is to ground you. Maybe it's to prevent you from self-sabotaging in the future. Maybe it's to get you to see the reality of this person. Maybe it's to get you to see the reality of yourself. Maybe this is how you repay some karmic debt (in which case, yay! Lighter times ahead!) Maybe this is a sign you may have some unresolved trauma that needs to be removed from your mind and body, and is to show you that you're closing in on a breaking down point and need to love yourself enough to tend to it. Maybe it's bits and pieces of everything mentioned above. Maybe it's just none of these, and you're letting seasonal depression get the best of you. Believe it or not, sadness is vital in life. It's a necessary emotion. If you feel the need to wallow, by all means go ahead. And when it's time, let yourself stop. It's okay. You're okay. And it'll all be okay. You are worthy of love.

Oracles: Patience; Bring love into the situation (New Moon in Aquarius)

Work on detaching yourself from this situation. Your specific/personal situation will come from thinking outside the box. Be more pragmatic. Improve your karma by doing charitable work.

Pile 2

A pressing thought on your mind: The Lovers (and The Hermit for clarification)

Alright, so this pile is also thinking about love. But you guys have a lighter energy than Pile 1. Or maybe you're a Pile 1 coming back to this reading after some time. You've probably been single for a while, and have done some extensive soul-searching and inner work, and now perhaps an inner voice is telling you that you're ready to put yourself out there again. And the energy coming through is yes! Yes, you are ready! But since it's been a while, and given the state of the streets, you're apprehensive about how to put yourself out there, and if you even should yet. Some of you may even be thinking of those Tiktoks that tell you how awful partners (particularly men) can be, and you're (rightfully) a bit scared.

Allow the tarot deck to describe the thought back to you in a softer voice: 8 of Pentacles

You've been hard at work with your personal growth and self-concept, and it radiates in your aura now. You've been diligent and have paid attention to the details. There's no such thing as a perfect person, of course, but you've done commendable work to get to as perfect as you can be in this stage of your life. Look at you go, you little rock-star! You need to watch out for black-and-white thinking, both directed at your own self and at others. Just because there may be a few things you're still working on, doesn't mean you're not ready. And the same goes for people you may meet soon, or for those that you're already considering. In fact, it shows self-awareness that you/the other person is cognizant of their flaws and still putting themselves out there because not all healing occurs inside. We all need people, and that's not a flaw. It's okay to be apprehensive. Be aware of the risks but don't let them consume you.

How you're approaching the thought: The High Priestess

You may be scouring Tumblr or Tiktok or wherever for readings and signs to foresee who you need to engage with next, what signs to look for, how it's all going to play out. It's like you want a blueprint of the entire love story beforehand because you're determined to find the one next. No more games for you. No more delays. You're ready and you want your future now. Love that for you, queen! But don't let it overconsume you! Micromanaging your love life isn't the best way to go about it. You know this, c'mon!

How you can release the thought without needing to resolve it right now: The Magician

Manifestation is real. But it's real for everyone, not just you. Imagine you're driving and you're manifesting going right, but so is another person, and fate may look at this and decide, okay, one of these needs to detour to avoid a collision, and maybe it picks you? Shit example, but I hope you get what I'm saying. It's good to be specific in your manifestations but not too specific, you know? Think of the burnt toast theory. Most of them there's a reason behind why things happen the way they do. Sometimes it's an important reason, and sometimes it's just random and meaningless. You seem to be approaching dating in a very Virgo-like way at this time, and essentially the message here is to not be too calculating and strategic. Keep your wits and lessons with you, of course, but don't forget that the Universe is also a player here.

Let the thought say one last goodbye: Ace of Pentacles

Your future partner is going to come to you like a gift or an offering. For some of you, that's where the delay is - the Universe is packaging them up perfectly for you and you just need to wait until it's time lol. The Universe and your spirit guides have been hard at work helping you heal and polish and be ready for love, and they're not going to just give you out to a random, okay? Have faith. Express gratitude constantly. And just affirm that love is here and your steps are guided. Dating apps may be the way for some of you. One or two of you may have luck bumping into someone at work or at the gym. Also hearing a beloved bar for someone. But for the majority, it's a highly personalized way that you'll meet the one. Ultimately, though, don't think too hard about it.

Oracles: Purification; Confidence is your key to success (New Moon in Leo)

There you have it. You've been purified enough to put yourself out there again. You're ready. Whether this be through apps, networking, or just living your life, do it with confidence and carry the intention with you to find your best match without chasing.

Pile 3

A pressing thought on your mind: Queen of Pentacles

This pile's conundrum seems to be family dynamics. Maybe you're in a sticky situation at home, where you can't afford to move out and you've either outgrown your home environment, or it's getting toxic. But you may not have the funds/resources to leave. And you feel like you're being smothered but you also would feel guilty if you were to leave. For some, you may not need to leave but you feel like there's undue pressure coming from your family whenever you go to make decisions, be it financial, education-related, relationship-related, or what have you. Getting heavy 'eldest child of immigrant parents' energy here. Maybe you don't feel your age because you feel like you don't have the freedom and independence you'd assumed you would have at this point. Some of you were even parentified as kids and it's starting to come to the fore-front. For some, this extends to friends and you feel like you've outgrown them, or just need more friends, but again, you're in a box.

Allow the tarot deck to describe the thought back to you in a softer voice: Knight of Cups

Some of you may daydream of a Prince Charming coming and saving you from this environment. This is especially true if the 'eldest daughter' thing applies to you and one of the only acceptable ways in your family for you moving out and starting your own life is to get married. And maybe that is what will happen for some of you. But don't depend on it as the only way. It will happen if it's meant to happen, but when we attached too much stake to one specific outcome, we pour too much of our power into it, and the Universe doesn't like that. It's okay to pray and manifest a particular outcome but detachment is a key factor in manifestation, remember that. One of the easiest ways out of this energy is just getting your license and a car, you know? You don't have to wait for a ride, you can be the driver. Even getting a pet is a good way to get out of the house more (plus, that would divert your family's attention and ease the tensions around the house).

How you're approaching the thought: 3 of Pentacles

You probably vent to your friends or siblings a lot. You prioritize working (maybe even working overtime) and saving up money. You might also be pursuing higher ed to better your career. It's definitely a good step! Just be aware of your social and personal needs and realize that there's multiple gardens within you that need watering. If the immigrant thing resonates with you, this is especially important. Do not let work and money consume you because hard work, as sad as it is to say, does not always lead you to where you need to go. You need to be a whole person, not just a worker. Think about it, how logical is it to water your 'money' garden and expect your 'personal' garden to bloom if you don't tend to it as much? Don't let burnout ruin your senses.

How you can release the thought without needing to resolve it right now: The Fool

It's your first time being you. And it's also your parents' first time being them. Be as empathetic and compassionate as you can be with yourself and your family without self-sacrificing. There's internal knowledge you came here with that you can access through meditation. Reconnect with your inner voice and let it help you. Don't hold on to resentments, whether internal or external. Don't be so hard on yourself, and when faced with arguments at home, try to separate the actions from the doer. Everyone has their own traumas and vices that they unintentionally hand over control to. Don't rush things. Make an inner sanctuary for yourself and believe that things will work out. The dog/pet message is coming through again lol so if that's a possibility, please go for it! And whenever you feel helpless, remind yourself that you're not supposed to have all the answers just yet. Most successful people, when asked, say the same. They had the vision and they had the grit, but they didn't always have all the steps laid out and blind confidence.

Let the thought say one last goodbye: 4 of Wands

Everything will work out. Trust. Please, just trust. For those of you that resonated with the Prince Charming message, this is confirmation that that will happen. You'll meet the man of your dreams, and leave your current surroundings for the home and life for your dreams. This isn't meant to push you to place all your faith into a savior coming, thus disempowering you, but this message should push you to instead hold on to your power, and keep tending to all your gardens equally in the meantime. You've been through a lot, and it wouldn't be fair to the old versions of you that lead you here to give up now. It gets steeper the higher you go on a mountain. But at this point, you're also stronger. Believe that. It's a marathon, not a sprint.

Oracles: Courage; Your hard work is paying off (New Moon in Capricorn)

Don't be too controlling, and limit your exposure to anyone who is too controlling. Stay ambitious and courageous. Recognize and reward yourself for all the hard work you've done. See yourself as a person and not a project. Your life may not have been a fairy tale, but your fairy tale moment is coming.

I hope you found a message here today! And if not, I hope to have a message for you next time. Wishing you all love, light, and success! ❤️

Don't forget to leave feedback if your reading resonated in any capacity.

My kofi ☕ (for tips and $3 flat-rate readings)

[clairosrealwife]

Y’all need to not put Kate on a pedestal or open your eyes. Syd wasn’t the reason they broke up. I’d break up with Kate too if I was being cheated on 🤷🏻‍♀️. It’s actually kinda messed up to have your ex be at your college games sitting with your family and also be there at your family’s St. Patrick’s tradition while lowkey seeing another girl. Y’all don’t be surprised if Kate does the same thing with Claire, same shit she did to the ex.

It’s a cute hard launch pic and all, but Claire’s body language speaks volumes. This ain’t gonna last unfortunately.

i respect your opinion and all, but i just wanna say none of us know the full story which is why i try to not rlly speak on this

i do agree that a lot of times we put ppl we idolize on a pedestal and try excusing some of the stuff they’ve done which only puts them in the mindset of they can get away with more in the future

[threestripeslider]

back at it again with a vibe check!!

let me preface this as brief as possible: I don’t care about polls.

dont get me wrong, i think they’re fun!! especially the sillay goofy ones like “which peepaw would get obliterated by a single chili in their food” that kind of silly.

but i’ve been noticing a trend in which a lot of those polls are starting to look like thinly veiled popularity contests – obviously not everyone intends that, but it’s just starting to look like that. me personally? i dont really give a shit bc again, i write for myself bc i wanna read specific things and i might as well produce what i want to see and just invite everyone else who has a similar desire. but if you’re gonna start polls just to see which is more “popular” then i kindly ask you to leave my stuff out of it bc im getting a little tired of it.

i do recognise odd man out is well known bc ppl like what i write and tell ppl about it, so i think it’s not only a little unfair to pit smaller fics against mine but also invites a lot of ugly behaviour like shitting on the bigger fics just bc they are “popular”. im sorry, but most of us werent even ASKED if we wanted to be in those polls and honestly? i refuse to take any responsibility for hurt feelings.

i’m doing this for Fun, i’m not competing with anyone. us with “big fics” literally do not owe you any consolation, we’re doing this for free and none of it pays us any bills. all what these repeated competitions and comparisons do is kill motivation and the fun we get from creating and exchanging ideas.

i had fun with the recently finished peepaw poll bc with how i interacted with some of the members, a lot of them didnt take it as seriously and i liked that, that’s what made it fun. im not telling you to not stop making polls, but at least dont create any where it seems like you all are clamoring for some popularity contest – leave my stuff out of those bc i really dont wanna deal with weird comments and halfway demanding asks bc i promise, i will not care about it bc we’re all some guy on the internet. but i know some ppl really dont wanna be part of this but are stuck pretending they’re okay out of fear they’re gonna ruin everyone’s fun – and you all know im not a fan of putting everyone’s fun before anyone’s boundaries.

so here’s mine; you may use odd man out in your polls, especially the silly goofy ones. i’d prefer that you don’t use odd man out in your borderline popularity polls, but even if you do, i won’t care about it and will dismiss it along with everything related to it. and please, for the love of god, stop putting me, my stuff or anyone else and their stuff on a pedestal bc that never ends well for anybody.

[mrstsung]

Shang tsung has BEEN sexy. Always has been

Y'all just late to the game.

I mean 30+yrs of games. You got a lot of material to work with.

Like come on

I mean come on people.

Young,old,beard,no beard. Shang has it all.

He's cunning,scary intelligent,handsome. Funny. Has humble origins(could be written a bit better and less yikes by NRS but ya know) like you feel bad for shang regardless of his predicament. Because being cursed to take the life force of others for eternity because some salty bitch didn't want you to be "better" than him. Never to embrace death or fully feel life. Stuck in a limbo. Have all the powers of a god yet denied any clearance. Have all the ambitions of a emperor and ruler yet desire none of triviality of it all. Only the security and safety of it. Desire nothing more than what you feel you deserve,and that grows day by day through the trials of kombat. Day in and day out you fight for your life for crumbs.

How can anyone not feel for shang? At least nowadays.

Like they gave him something more than "evil bad guy to beat up" yet expect people to still go the status quo when they want us too. How can you root for anyone who sides with earthrealm or any of the supposed "good guys" anymore?

But anyways. Yeah shang tsung deserves better treatment than him being sexy in looks. Tho he is definitely *meow* deliciously cold Blooded.

He is sexy because he is complex. Because he's not afraid to go after what he wants. He's cautious(and more so as time goes on,as he gets a lil bit wiser tho not much changes overall. He's still a lil cheeky shit and stuck in survival mode. Oof). shang tsung is sexy because he's a bad guy with standards. Twisted sense of honor,he stands for himself. Because nobody else will.

See liu kang,in this new "timeline" if you gave him friendship or friends. Ya know genuinely a happy fucking life. And not put edanians on a pedestal because you wanted kitana puss puss so damn bad. Maybe you could have avoided all of that! Ya know maybe kung lao,raiden,and shang could have been the "deadly alliance" you needed. But noooooooo! Pusshy and looking good for these god/titans was more important?! Fuck off.

Dark raiden would have decimated you on spot for that bullshit.

And i would have laughed. This new liu kang is a joke. Fr. (Tbh the whole damn thing has become a joke but eh)

Shang tsung is once again the only thing keeping this dead horse alive,look me dead in the eyes and tell me he aint!? It's the truth and i know it,and y'all know it. And even then that will wear out in time. Even then it's not the BEST shang tsung(storywise)and Alan Lee's voice and performance is what made this enjoyable. Mr lee is too damn nice for this shit. Luv ya man but yeah. Still would love to see more of shang tsung being actually treated with respect and not with nostalgia bait clouding the writing devs minds. But people who actually love complex villains or morally grey characters.

Anyways. We love this sorcerer. But he deserves better than that.

BY FANS AND GAME DEVS ALIKE!

💚🐍💚🐍💚🐍💚🐍💚🐍💚🐍💚🐍💚🐍💚

More kontent soon. Sorry for the smol hiatus.

[dragonsareawesome123]

someone in a twitter gc im in has the audacity to rant about dellas role as a mom to the point of agreeing with a lot of the shit takes and putting donald on a higher pedestal when it comes to being a parent. 😓 its 2023, people, not september of 2019

Seriously, why are people still shit talking Della’s parenting in 2023??? I thought we put this discourse behind us. That discourse was stupid and wrong back in 2019 and it’s still stupid and wrong now. I swear, every time a piece of media shows a mother who’s not perfect but is trying their best, the fandom will jump on them and say that they’re a terrible parent and abusive when they’re literally none of those things. Anyways, stan Della Duck because she’s a good parent who’s trying her best.