#not a perfect man of course but one of our most fascinating i think :)

[avocado-writing]

I saw some of your BG3 headcanon and I got to say I love it. 💕

I hope it okay to ask what would BG3 companion would react if the reader is a selkie 🦭💕

how cute! hope you enjoy, anon!

Astarion

sort of glad he isn’t the only “afflicted” of the group (even though you consider your selkie-dom a blessing and not a curse like his vampirism)

you spend long nights discussing how you adapted to “normal” life after the tadpole. he doesn’t need to hide from sunlight, you don’t feel the pull to constantly be near water.

makes jokes about stealing your sealskin when you annoy him, in return you threaten to stake him. just girly things 💕💞💓💗💝💘💖

when you finally get the confidence to transform in front of him he is transfixed. you are beautiful.

“what do you think?” nervous eyes, picking at your fingers.

“you’re wonderful,” he says, uncharacteristically sincere, and you feel your cheeks heat up.

Gale

super duper fascinated.

asks you a billion questions, ones you didn’t even think about the answers to!

”so how does it feel when you actually slip into your seal form?” “?? Normal I guess? Idk, Gale!”

he watches you transform and swim around, making lots of notes to start with — but he gets distracted and just watches you play.

when you flop up onto the bank next to him, covered in water and out of your seal body, he gets lost in the sweet depth of your eyes.

when he kisses you for the first time it’s the most sure he’s ever been about anything.

Karlach

“oh my GODS that’s so cool!”

also asks a billion questions too but not like… smart ones.

“have you ever eaten raw fish?” “yeah of course, Karlach!” “haha ew how did they taste?” “pretty good actually!” “AMAZING”

can’t stop looking at your, stroking your cloak when you’re in kith form. she knows how precious it is to you and wants to keep it safe.

she submerges herself in water and heats it up like a hot tub, you turn into your seal form and float around lazily enjoying her heat. ❤️

Wyll

gobsmacked but honoured you shared this side of yourself with him.

we know our lad likes fairytales, he’s swept up in the storybook aspect of it all.

(secretly you’re both thrilled at the idea of being a knight having a romance with a selkie. it’s so perfect and sweet! 💕)

always checks in to see if there’s anything he can do to make you feel more comfortable - finding you water to relax in or getting you some fatty food to enjoy.

perfect partner. respectful and doting. no notes!

Shadowheart

surprised, but pretends she knew all along (she didn’t, she just doesn’t want you knowing how taken aback she is)

I think you being a selkie helps her get the courage to try and swim.

maybe it’s you in bipedal form holding onto her and leading her into the water, or maybe you turn into a seal for extra buoyancy.

either way, she’s squeaking “don’t you dare let go!!”

she eventually gets more comfortable with this side of your life and there is nothing she enjoys more than just floating with you, holding your paw or your hand 💕

Lae’zel

doesn’t really understand.

you have to explain the concept to her a couple of times before it sinks in.

”this is a confession?” “yes…” “I do not understand why you believe I would think any differently of you. you are still the source of my joy.”

her honest acceptance of you, all of you, is enough to make your soul feel sweet.

you kiss her. there is simply nothing else for it.

Halsin

my man wildshapes, so he’s pretty used to people being in animal forms - even if it’s a bit different for you.

the two of you talk at length about changing into beasts and how it feels, what joy and freedom it brings.

let’s be real. we’ve all seen the bear scene. the two of you probably both turn into seals and get freaky. it’s great.

he likes to curl up in his bear form around you as a seal and drift off to sleep on the shore. you feel so safe next to him. he’d never let anything hurt you.

[seelestia]

— 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐃 𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐋𝐋, 𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐄?

SUMMARY. in which you decide to do their eye makeup for them and the many antics that come with it.

CHARACTERS. zhongli, alhaitham, xiao, wanderer, gorou, itto.

GENRE. fluff, slight crack, established relationship.

CW. close proximity, one use of pet name, zhongli sorta acts like a cat, alhaitham is a lil insufferable but you love him, wanderer is also an inch away from choking you (affectionately).

THOUGHTS. question: is their eye makeup waterproof or do they apply it every morning?? fascinating. p/s: happy birthday to @zhongrin! lots of love to one of the best people i've ever met on this site <3

✰ masterlist.

© written by @seelestia. do not copy, translate, repost to other sites nor claim as yours!

— ZHONGLI.

❝Apologies, dear. Is this distance acceptable?❞

ZHONGLI smells of rich cologne and the vapor of tea brews wafting through the air when you step into a teahouse. You know this, of course, you've buried yourself in his embrace countless times before — but to have your face so close to his like this, you've never felt an urge to look away quite this strong before.

You stay composed, however, Zhongli can't always be the only one with the cool composure in this household, after all. "Mhm, perfect," you nod with a quiet hum as he closes his eyes, settling his chin in your palm so snugly that you laugh.

"You're like a cat," you remark, trying to suppress the littlest impulse to bump your forehead onto his in an affectionate way. "Is that so?" Gentle eyes that resemble amber gemstones flutter open to meet yours.

(Almost, were you accidentally about to poke his eye out of sheer panic from his beauty. Almost.)

"I'm glad to know that comparing me to felines seems to bring you amusement," Zhongli brushes his hand against your hair, "But let us focus on the task at hand, my love."

"Lest we miss our reservation at Liuli Pavilion. It is most polite to be punctual," he reminds you. How mean of him; to say such things and expect you to fully register it when he is softly rubbing your cheek like this as if lulling you to sleep.

Seriously, the amount of self-control you have to muster spontaneously in order to fight off the need to lean further into his hand is indescribable. Who's supposed to be the feline again? Anyway. "Okay, okay, I won't dawdle anymore," you adjust his chin in your hold as your other works to bring up the eyeliner to his eye.

"My husband has to look his best, after all," you slip in a little joke."Of course, darling," but Zhongli's answer doesn't sound like he's kidding at all.

(How can he say that with such a straight face? This man, seriously.)

— ALHAITHAM.

❝You're actually concentrating, I'm impressed.❞

"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?" you scrunch your face, frowning at how his words are jabbing at your pride. Has he not realized the power you have in your hands right now? You could actually poke his eyes with the eyeliner you're holding if you want to — not like you would, but Alhaitham is making it a smidgen harder to resist.

"I can focus, alright?" Huffing, you put aside your trivial grudges to grab his chin softly with your other hand. Alhaitham relents with an entertained smile, "All those times you fall asleep every time I read to you says otherwise."

"Well, that's— that's different," you stammer. In your defense, most of the books he chose to read to you are either theoretical physics or philosophies; it's a wonder how you're lulled to sleep even though it isn't a storybook. Of course, Alhaitham's library is a range of wide genres but you're starting to think he picks those books solely for you.

You're pulled out of your train of thoughts when you put in some distance to view your finished artwork. With Alhaitham's face as the canvas, somewhat comically.

(Well, aren't his eyes pretty? They look even sharper when accented with the eyeliner... whether that be for better or for worse. You shake your head internally at any poor person who happens to test his patience later today.)

"Wow," you mumble dazedly, "Red eyeliner really suits you." He raises an eyebrow at the genuineness in your quiet voice but only lifts his face away from your hand in response. Alhaitham regards your efforts in the mirror beside the two of you with a hum, "Maybe we should make this a routine, then."

There is a little something oddly hidden behind his sentence. Accusingly, you voice your suspicion by squinting your eyes at the Scribe, "...You just don't wanna do it yourself, do you?" And he enables it without a doubt, "Feel free to speculate."

(Ugh, this man.)

"But regardless..." he crosses his arms against his chest with a nod, "It doesn't look so bad."

(Would it have killed him from the inside out to say a compliment with a positive connotation? Okay, whatever, you love him.)

— XIAO.

❝....❞

Silent, quiet, and frozen in place like a statue.

The mere presence of those traits are more than enough reasons to have you worrying whether or not XIAO is still breathing. He is, thankfully, you can confirm that from the close proximity between the two of you and you mentally let out a sigh of relief.

(Thank the Archons you didn't lean in any further lest you would've heard how terribly his poor heart is faring and he doesn't want that.)

There is one more problem, however.

"You don't have to close your eyes that hard, you know..." you try to start, but Xiao still doesn't falter one bit; "It is of utmost necessity," he insists for the nth time since you've lost count.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

(Talk about stubborn.)

Your question is coming from a place of genuine concern because the frown on his forehead looks like it's going to engrave itself there forever from how intensely he is closing his eyes... Doesn't that hurt? You resist the urge to soothe away that frown with your thumb.

It's a good thing that it's only the two of you here right now, though. A stranger would be scared to death if they were to be gazed at with such an intense look and from the Conqueror of Demons at that. Oh, whatever will happen to your efforts of trying to prove to the children at Liyue Harbor that Xiao is actually a softie? Gee.

(But still, you can't help but smile.)

"Utmost necessity, huh?" you echo back his words with a hum. Your intentions bear no mockery but it seems the adeptus still manages to find some sort of dissatisfaction in your reaction. "Do not smile at me like that," Xiao mutters within a choked exhale that only serves to make him come off less stern than he would've liked.

His eyes are still, very much, closed as far as you can see.

The irony of it all tickles a chuckle out of you, mirth glazed over your eyes. "Is this an Adepti art I'm not aware of or are you secretly looking at me even with your eyes closed?" you ask cheekily. Xiao's cheeks are but a mere inch away from bursting into flames and he can only use words as his defense.

"...There is no need for you to know," he huffs.

Well, he isn't denying it, that's for sure.

(The answer is intuition.)

— WANDERER.

❝...Are you done yet? Any more second of this torture and I might just perish from boredom.❞

You're doing his makeup for him and this is the kind of treatment you get? You would've faked a gasp if you weren't so busy holding in a laugh over how his body is betraying his speech. That flustered look on WANDERER's face isn't helping his case at all.

"Uh-huh," your drawled out reply is enough of an indication to show that you're not really taking his words (threats?) seriously. Wanderer's bark can be as harsh as his bite, but you've never minded all the barks he sends your way — so much so that you barely even spare him any eye contact in favor of perfecting the red shade you're trying to blend around his eyelids.

(Perfection requires concentration, they say.)

But that doesn't mean you can't see anything else, though. You're uncertain if the Wanderer realizes this or somehow forgets because you can, in fact, see from your peripheral vision — and from said peripheral angle, he seems to be looking at something of yours rather intensely.

"You're staring at my lips," you point out.

"Shut it," he grumbles out his defense as fast as lightning.

(Caught him red-handed.)

"Sorry," you chuckle teasingly, "If you want a kiss, you're gonna have to wait for a bit." The way he looks so undeniably irritated by your statement makes you have no other option but to burst into a mini chuckling fit.

"Ugh, it's not like you can't lean in closer to—" His mouth snaps to a stop once it dawns on him; that your words are an attempt at reading his mind and he is technically confirming it to your face.

"Actually, nevermind, whatever. Just get this over and done with," he averts his eyes quickly with a scowl that feels as harmless as a naby deer (to you, anyway). "Giving up already?" you raise an eyebrow jokingly. With how Wanderer closes his eyes with a sigh, you assume he is only mere seconds away from giving your forehead a good flick.

"Don't think you're completely off the hook," he sternly interjects with a huff, "You still owe me some kind of compensation for taking your sweet time with this."

"And will that compensation be in the form of a kiss, per chance?" you hum amusedly.

"...It better be," he closes his eyes as if to signify the end of his willingness to comment any further.

Wanderer has never been one to shy away from the truth, but that is only because its taste always turns out bitter. Yet, in this case, when the truth entails something as embarrassingly sweet as desiring a kiss from you, then it becomes a conundrum for him.

After all, he is not fond of sweet things but he is fond of you. Maybe, this close proximity is getting to his head a little too much for his liking — darn it, he knew this was a bad idea the moment you showed him those puppy eyes.

— GOROU.

❝This is... embarrassing...❞

GOROU looks like he is merely a hair's breadth away from digging a hole into the ground and burrowing in it forever. But thankfully, the only thing keeping him on the surface happens to be you, the person holding him still by the cheek.

"There is nothing to be embarrassed about," you squish his cheek gently and Gorou lets out a noise akin to a little whine. "What if one of the soldiers sees us?" he protests, yet makes no actual initiative to remove himself from your grasp.

"Let them," you tap the eyeliner pen against his forehead two times and he winces dramatically as if you just struck him over the head. "Ouch!" Gorou rubs the sore spot instinctively and you can feel a faint trickle of guilt (even though you only hit him with the amount of strength someone would need to blow a dandelion), yet that is still not enough to the little lecture you're about to give him.

"Being the General of the Resistance doesn't mean you have to do everything yourself. It's okay to rely on someone to do something for you once in a while, you know."

"Even something as small as letting them do your eye makeup for you," you huff with a proud smile as an emphasis, carefully tracing a line on the outer part above his eyes.

"...Mmpf," the muffled noise that comes out of his mouth has you raising an eyebrow. Although unsure if it's because of that pout on his lips or his puffed cheeks, you still let out a little laugh at the thought of said possibilities anyway.

"Pfft, what's that sound?" you tease, "Does that mean you agree with me or not?"

"[Y/N]," Gorou calls your name in a stern tone or at least, tries to.

(He has never been good at scolding people but he swears if you keep on teasing him, he'll actually explode. ...And by that, he means melting into a puddle of jelly on the ground.)

— ITTO.

❝You gotta make em' look super dope, alright? Make sure you put more highlights on this one! And oh, this one right here too!❞

No one really knows whether the tattoos on ITTO's skin are actually real or not. Knowing he is someone of Oni blood doesn't narrow down the answer any further but if you were to ask him about them yourself, Itto prefers to call them "100% natural, baby!".

Not to mention, he is always looking for ways to make them stand out or look cooler — which led to this grand idea of asking you to do his makeup for him because apparently, your touch is magical since you're his favorite person on this emtire planet (his words, not yours).

...He can come up with the most random things to say sometimes. But hey, seeing a grown Oni beg on his knees sure was something and you didn't have the heart to say no to him.

"Sooooo," Itto starts with an attempt to clear his throat professionally, "How does it feel like having the honor to prepare me for my next battle?" he accentuates his sentence with a series of haughty laughter that cause his shoulders to shake vigorously.

"Don't move," you scrunch your face with a frown, pinching him indignantly for nearly breaking your focus. "Yikes! Sorry, sorry, I'll stay still!" the Oni yelps, a noise so embarrassing he almost cups his mouth like second nature.

But he doesn't do that, in fear of being pinched by your lovely fingers and proceeds to look at you with eyes befitting that of a kicked puppy's. "...You'll come and cheer for me, right?" Itto asks pleadingly and you smile.

"Of course," you say and he has to resist the urge to do a full-on fist bump into the air. But you still have some more left to say as you continue, "Just don't cry if you lose, alright? You'll ruin the makeup and besides...." There is a devious grin resting on your face now, "You don't want the kids to think your face makeup look like tear marks, don't you?"

Yup, there comes that offended gasp you've been waiting for.

"What— heck no!" Itto places a hand on his chest dramatically, "Tear marks?! Preposterous! The Arataki Itto doesn't shed tears! Of course not!" You can only hide your giggles behind your palm while Itto struggles to defend his wounded pride.

"...Forrealthough, doesitactuallylookliketearmarks—"

Now, you've got him second-guessing himself (but at least, he's cute?).

─ ⊹ ⊱ ・・・・・・☆・・・・・・・⊰ ⊹ ─

© SEELESTIA, may 2023. do not repost, plagiarize, translate nor claim as your own.

✰ TAGLIST: @meimeimeirin @hcikazu @tsuk4sa-yug1 @catcze @semi-orangeapple @yuuki4646 @d-a-r-k-s-w-a-n @daisydkj @omgscaramouche @coquettemaiden @lemontum @herdrops @lleoll @xiaosonlybeloved @chiisananingen @irethepotato @ainescribe @blooodyvampy @starlightaura @jihyuniepark @duhsies @maybemiko @lordbugs @sakkakuu-squared — [ bolded names are unable to be tagged + register here to be a part of my taglist! ]

[folkwhore1998]

If a man talks shit then I owe him nothing (I don't regret it one bit, 'cause he had it coming)

Let's try to think of something more iconic than Reputation... 1..2..3..

Reputations Taylor's Version. The anticipation is literally insane. Of course I'm excited for it to come out, but one of the things I am most looking forward to is connecting the dots on the easter eggs we missed, and the easter eggs we got right.

What colors do you guys associate with Rep? Green and black or black and red? It really could go either way. Some people lean more towards one.

My question that I want answered: WILL THERE BE A NEW REP BODY SUIT? There has to be one, right? What do you guys think?

Reputation is legendary and is quite honestly one of the most brilliant comebacks of all time. I can't imagine the things Taylor was going through during that period of time. I have a lot of thoughts on Kanye West and Kim Kardashian that I am just going to keep to myself- but let's just say, Kanye West is delusional and disgusting. reputation was the best fuck you in history, not even just to him, but to all the nasty reporters and cowards on the internet.

I personally adore reputation and the entire era was a serve. I love everything about it. Even if you enjoy other albums a bit more, there is no denying that it is ICONIC.

The scene in Miss Americana where she was snubbed grammy nominations for rep was very sad to watch. She said she just had to make a better record, when reputation IS an incredible record.

That is one thing about music that is so fascinating to me- is the way it all resonates with us. It wasn't that she had to make a better record, but rather reputation was too ahead of its time.

Personally, my biggest regret is not being able to go to the reputation tour. It is crazy to think that it was her last tour before COVID hit, but what an incredible note to leave off on.

Ratatatatatatata

Here are my REP RANKINGS:

Don't Blame Me

Call It What You Want

Getaway Car

King of My Heart

I Did Something Bad

...Ready For It?

Delicate

New Years Day

Look What You Made Me Do

Dress

End Game

Gorgeous

This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things

So It Goes...

Dancing With Our Hands Tied

Honorable mentions:

i know this technically is not during the rep era, but it's still my favorite

Here is the link to a IDSB crewneck! I think its great for spooky season (and all year round ofc)

Here is the link to some snake shot glasses! You can take a shot every time you clown for rep TV:

@taylornation @taylorswift

[viharbinger]

Sweet Beloved

tags: all fluff no foul , short one shot

pairing: Heimdall (gowr) x gn! reader

Just as always you were behind the prince of Asgard's back, sitting criss-crossed on the soft bed you both shared, looping his hair into one another to braid. The only thing you'd hear are your soft breathing and birds that were waking up from the morning. The yellow beam of light from the sun shines on you both, giving you a perfect view of his hair to work on efficiently.

He loves having you do his hair as you work on it so delicately, like as if tugging his hair even a bit hard would kill him. Of course, you had to fill the silence with your thoughts. By saying it out loud.

He didn't even have to look at you and just knew you were about to say something nobody thinks of.

"Is it just me, or do clouds move really fast? You'd think they move slow, but then you don't even realise the cloud you saw a second ago just moved out of our sights!" You gasped like as if you made a new discovery, to which Heimdall just chuckles at.

"Your mortal brain just fascinates me everytime." He laughs, the motion vibrating his head and disrupting your hair braiding. "Well— Hey! You messed up my braid." You grumbled, quickly combing his hair to braid it once again, forgetting about being gentle just as he likes. I gets he stands corrected that you're not always delicate with your handiwork.

"Don't worry, take your time. Not like there's anything to fight on the walls today." He lifts his hands up in defense, as it's usually just a boring hot day.

Finally. You're done. His hair was beautifully done and'll last hours. "Done!" You grinned, moving to place a soft kiss on his cheek, while still sitting behind him. "You'd think the watchman of the Aesir, the most ill-mannered man in Asgard, wouldn't have such a sweet beloved, huh?" You teased, resting your head on his shoulder, tracing your fingers along his back.

"I always wonder how you ever, ever got your way with me." He tsks, looking at you with his bright purple eyes on his shoulder— your faces so close, nose just touching.

"I'm just a miracle worker, am I?" You scrunched up your nose in smiling, leaning in to press a gentle kiss on his lips, to which he returns. Maybe the scion of the Aesir can be fixed after all.

[nearer-than-the-eye]

LITTLE SAINT

listen Ahi giustizia di Dio! tante chi stipa nove travaglie e pene quant’ io viddi? e perché nostra colpa sì ne scipa?

"Ah, Justice of God, who heaps up such strange punishment and pain as I saw there? and why do our sins so waste us?" For Santino D'Antonio: John Wick's bitter ex, my most beloved villain, and whose name means sacred or little saint.

___

John Wick 2 may have come out nearly a decade ago, but being a Santino girl is a chronic condition. Cover and track list images are details from Caravaggio's Bacchus, and the epigraph is from Canto VIII of Inferno, translated by Robert and Jean Hollander.

Some extended thoughts about my process and choice of epigraph and cover under the read more!

This playlist mostly started because I was listening to "Young Caesar 2000," said to myself, wow, this would be a great Santino song, and put it alone on a new playlist. From there, for about a year, I'd throw on anything that particularly reminded me of Santino, songs that felt, not like they described him, but that they might narrate part of his inner monologue and feeling. Some John/Santino vibes starting slipping in there (almost inevitably), but I knew I wanted to keep things really closely tied to how Santino understands himself. I narrowed things down, did some ordering for the overall arc and (hopefully) smooth transitions, and here we are!

Essential to my understanding of Santino (and thus this playlist's formation) is NeverwinterThistle's Unholy Union and asuralucier's The Man You Want to Be, both of which you should absolutely run, not walk, to read.

I'll let the tracklist mostly speak for itself, but I hopefully captured Santino's arrogance and the fundamental emptiness and deep insecurity that arrogance covers. I really do think John is something real and true for Santino, in a world full of posturing, but he eventually cannot resist instrumentalizing John, just like everyone else. JW 2 is one of the JW movies most pessimistic about masculinity (if not THE most pessimistic), and the arc of this playlist would certainly be very different without Mitksi's "I'm Your Man." Which is Mitski's most pessimistic song about masculinity! So it all works out.

The title -- The fact that Santino's name means "little saint" has fascinated me since my first cursory google search that delivered this factoid, and I've always kept it in my back pocket when thinking about Santino as a character. He's always the little brother. His petulance and pettiness is so essential to his character, and it's, of course, what makes him such a great foil to John (who imagines himself as a rational actor, but has his matching streak of the petulance). Santino inherits all this splendor, and all he can do is try and claw out more and more. A petty saint, and certainly never a god.

Why Bacchus? -- Well, I was trying to get a good film still for the cover and eventually gave up, so then I went to go find something appropriately aesthetic for a playlist cover. I was going to do a Dutch Golden Age still life bc that's what I'm writing about rn and lushness (and rot) is so essential to Santino, but then I was like. this guy is Italian. SUPER Italian. Who's an Italian with dramatic shadows and lush still lifes? And thus Caravaggio. Bacchus because revelry, excess, beauty, ect....also the invitation of the painting--he's holding out the goblet to you, asking you to join him. But mostly because it's beautiful.

Why Dante? -- I KNEW this bitch had to have an epigraph from Inferno once I realized this was going to be a real playlist. I mean, speaking of pessimism! The Divine Comedy feels so crazy to read as a modern reader bc it's like. yeah all this suffering is God's perfect justice. That guy eating his own shit is part of the divine plan. Which, to me, lines up really well with my read on masculinity in the JW movies--perfect, unchangeable, and committing you to endless suffering.

Alright, let's really get into it. This tercet ("Ah, Justice of God, who heaps up / such strange punishment and pain as I saw there? / and why do our sins so waste us?") come early in Canto 7, as Virgil and Dante (our POV character and protagonist) leave the third circle of Hell, Gluttony, and enter the fourth circle, Avarice and Prodigality ("Why do you squander...Why do you hoard" is probably the most famous quote from this circle). If Santino was to end up anywhere, it would be in one of those two circles, so I enjoy that this is the point in the text Dante asks these two questions!

Speaking of: despite God's perfection, Dante sure loves to question what he sees in hell and then...not resolve those questions in any way. It's interesting to see that "who heaps up / such strange punishment and pain as I saw there?" is a question addressed to the "Justice of God" when. well. the Justice of God is the thing heaping up these strange punishments and pain!

Dante seems unaware of the paradox, here, which has a real resonance for me in the way Santino is just like, well, I HAVE to blow up your house, John! I HAVE to put out a hit on you after you fulfill the marker, John! But to point to the times he acted out of compassion (not calling in John's marker during his retirement) would completely undermine that logic. It says "there are some things more important than power," but if Santino acknowledged that, then he wouldn't be able kill his sister.

Dante can't walk through hell and say with his whole chest, "I don't think it should be like this, actually" and still trust and love God, so he doesn't. Santino can't believe "more power will make me more happy, our culture says so," and also consciously acknowledge that it's the culture under the Table (and his father!!! his god!!!) that has pitted him against his sister his whole life, that has instilled in him values that ultimately leave him empty. So he doesn't! And he dies trapped in that paradox.

And then that second question. "And why do our sins so waste us?" UGH. ugh. Dante. You fucking hit me hard with this one. This is the line that made me choose this tercet. There's so much to Santino, so much beauty, so much divinity--but our sins waste us. All that power is used only in pursuit of more power, and, in the end, he's destroyed by that pursuit. The first two lines of the tercet key into culture and the way we contort our selves to fit into culture, but this last line is just an exclamation of the tragedy. Why? we ask, and nobody answers.

[bonesandthebees]

If u wanna talk more about the tntduo detective au I am ALL ears 👀👀👀 but also totally understand if u wanna keep it a secret for now hehehe

honestly I have no idea where I'm going with it so I'll throw it to the wind and let you guys chew on it while I let it simmer lol

so basically I started watching true detective: night country the other night with my mom and I immediately got inspired (I have not seen the first season of true detective although I really want to watch it now and hopefully will soon). also, I've always had a fascination with the polar nights phenomena. I've gone on wikipedia binges before reading about Utquiagvik (the Alaskan town I'm fairly sure the town in true detective s4 is based off of) which experiences polar night for roughly two months or so, and I've also gotten a few videos in my Youtube recommended from a youtuber who lives in Svalbard which experiences polar night for nearly three months. so suffice to say the concept of a several month long night has intrigued me for a while, and finding a show literally set during that multi-month nighttime immediately piqued my interest.

and when I watch really fun things I usually get the urge to write something in the same genre. originally I thought about a crimeboys detective duo fic, but then I was like wait has anyone done tntduo as detective partners? because I know there's crimeboys detective fics out there but I don't know if I've seen many of them for tntduo. and I realized that would just be a very fun dynamic for the two of them.

so grizzled small town detective partners tntduo who bicker like an old married couple, seem to have a lot of shit in their past between them, work incredibly well together and bounce off of each other perfectly during investigations, and also have the kind of tension where no one else in the room with them can tell if they want to punch each other or make out just felt like the perfect vibe to dig into. all set against the backdrop of a frigid arctic circle town that's in the midst of a 2 month long night. and then someone gets murdered.

so this post doesn't get too long I'll talk more about the specifics of the au under the cut

so tbh this idea while it is tntduo /r, it wouldn't be that focused on that and more focused on the murder investigation going on. besides our two overly tired small town detectives that definitely aren't repressing any feelings towards each other, we have several other characters going about their lives as well! of course tommy is there. he's a junior officer who only joined the police force a year before the start of the story (also, yes I'm very acab when it comes to real life but I just wanna write one of those stereotypical murder investigation stories man).

anyway, tommy is only 20 and his dad, phil, was part of the force for most of tommy's life. once he turned 18 though phil quit because he'd always hated the institution of police (and government in general) (although like wilbur he was a detective) but wanted to have a stable job to keep his kid supported. phil was... not thrilled in tommy's career choice, but who is he to protest?

phil mentored wilbur during his early years in the force, and in turn wilbur mentors tommy. he's trying to teach him how to think like an investigator, and will often ask him questions to get his brain turning pieces of evidence over and try to get him to look at situations in different ways.

since quitting and getting that sweet sweet government retirement money, phil pretty much spends all his time at his bestie techno's place. techno is the town hermit who lives on the outskirts. he also breeds sled dogs (not formally he just has a lot of dogs since people need them in that kind of weather) and usually has 10 huskies at a time running around his cabin. techno might also be a retired eco-terrorist but wilbur knows not to ask too many questions about that and quackity is scared of techno so he's definitely not gonna bring it up.

niki is a phd student from germany working at the nearby arctic research station for her dissertation. she focuses a lot of her studies on climate change and all that. she and wilbur are best friends and has heard way too many drunken ramblings about quackity.

jack manifold is one of tommy's best friends and works at the oil fields that employ most of the town. he's trying to get placed onto a proper oil rig out in the ocean at some point since those jobs pay really well. he's friends with niki too, although his job and her research certainly cause a bit of contention between them.

tubbo is another best friend of tommy's. he's born and raised in the arctic town but he went off to a prestigious uni down south to get a nuclear engineering degree so he's not really around for the most part

sam oversees and manages all the oil pumps and makes sure things are running smoothly. and in turn, schlatt owns the oil fields. he and quackity have, uh, a history.

and lastly, ranboo is an intern at the research station that niki is doing her dissertation work at. they're also close friends with tommy, although wilbur and quackity both have only met them a few times. the whole story kicks off when they go missing one day, only to be found dead outside in the frigid temperatures within a few hours. that's when the mystery kicks off against the backdrop of a nearly three month long night :)

anyway I do have the overarching mystery figured out, but it's the actual specific plotting bit i'm struggling with. I really don't want to write the entire investigation but also I don't wanna just write a single scene bc theres so much going on in this universe I wanna show arghhhh. and also I love slowburn and I think the really weird tense dynamic tntduo have in this would be so intriguing with that layered on top of it. just arghhhh motivation and time.

hope you enjoyed learning about my brainrot over the past few days lol I already made a playlist for this fic even though I don't think I'm gonna write it it's so joever for me

[celestialholz]

Today in meta: Mister Milquetoast himself.

Hassel, Brassius, if you could stay in your lovely lawnside Artazon house for TEN DAMN MINUTES whilst I talk about someone else, I'd appreciate that. Love you kings, stay gay, I'll be back for you real soon. <3

Instead, it's the Celestial meta debut of this bitch!

You know him, you love him, it's Larry, and I wish to strip him down to his ATOMS he's so interesting, but I'm going to start simple: birds. The dichotomy of birds.

Let's take a peek at his Elite Four squad - I'm not going to analyse the gym one, because it's half a team, but you'll see that it matters anyway in a minute.

This is his lovely team:

Now, you probably know what I've said before about the penultimate slot in a full team, and especially Hassel's - how it's meant to represent the heart and personality of the trainer. And that rings perfectly true for our favourite salaryman, too, if we take a look at Staraptor's Scarlet dex entry:

That's Larry, solitary and resilient against whatever the world throws at him. And of course, Staraptor is Normal/Flying, both of Larry's specialties. Even the Intimidate ability is relevant, as according to his official bio on the Pokemon website, Larry becomes 'unsettlingly still whenever he is lost in thought, much to the worry of people nearby.'

... But what intrigues me is the ace switch between teams. What was Staraptor's slot in the gym is now replaced with Flamigo - a lovely representation for Staraptor in that penultimate slot, certainly, but the birds themselves are a world apart.

If we take a quick glance at Flamigo here...

... We see that he is the entire opposite of Staraptor - he only flourishes in a group. And we see that in Larry, too - as lone wolf as he is, when does he truly come alive, hit his peak of battling strength? When he's surrounded by others - when the crowd gathers for his gym battle towards its conclusion, when Rika and Poppy watch on and support him in the Elite Four.

And so, pasting all this together, if the penultimate slot in the party is the heart of the trainer, what does that make the ace?

Potential; what the trainer could be... for better, or for worse.

If we take the examples I used before in the meta I linked above, of champions:

Cynthia's ace is the ultimate in trainer nightmare fuel, Garchomp. Without the goodness in her heart, without her academic curiosity for the ancient past being channelled into research... well, we know what happens. It's this fucker.

Cynthia has the potential to be this guy, and I think we're all pretty fucking thankful that she isn't...

Wallace's ace is a Milotic. Said to be the 'most beautiful of all Pokemon', and able to calm violence simply by its presence, Wallace without a League structure would be a Contest master, which is something he also excels at: and he's got the perfect pal to do it with. He values physical beauty, exuberance, and charm, it'd be a simple switch.

Steven's ace is a Metagross. Destined as he is to take over the Devon Corporation when his father eventually retires, without his battle prowess and fascination for fossils, in another life he'd run the technology company with quick intellect and good business sense.

Even in the very League Larry is part of, this checks. Poppy's is Tinkaton - a little girl, vastly too powerful for her size, has the potential to be an utter nightmare of a child without having an outlet for her strength; Hassel's Baxcalibur is him without Brassius - partly the emotional distance of Ice, and part the heritage of Dragons. It's no coincidence that Bax's signature move Glaive Rush bounces double damage back to itself the turn after - a deeply appropriate sentiment for the man who feels too much.

... And so, where does that leave us with Larry?

It leaves us with a man wearing a facade - unsurprising, when he gives you the TM for it. It leaves us with a man whose genius and vibrance is swallowed by corporate life, who actually LOVES the thrill of being cheered on. It leaves us with a man wants to overcome his own weakness, a man who wishes to Fight AND to Fly... it leaves us with a man whose ace has Scrappy, which will allow him to strike Ghosts - something his 'normal' team can't do. It leaves us with a showman, and...

... it leaves us kinda sad, really. This man is the only character in the series who has managed to master two separate types, and it's for the worst of reasons, but... we do see those glimmers of brilliance, and we do see a Terastillised Flamigo - a Pokemon known for silly movements and power, much like his masterful trainer with the very silly throw, who is now pure Flying.

Pay attention, Larry dear. Maybe you too can soar. <3

[henchy5824]

19 for ask game meme?

Ohoho! *rubs grubby paws*

This might be a little bit of an odd one, but bear with me.

So my background is in IT, and during my schooling we unsurprisingly had to write essays about various topics. Those topics were, unsurprisingly, sometimes only loosely connected to what would count as "IT". Among which was telecommunications. The essays I had to write on that were long, contrived, technical in ways I don't even want to think about anymore (or maybe I do but that's because I'm a masochistic degnereate, lol) and most of all: I was in absolute agony researching them. It were those kinds of essays that had to meet a certain word count and hit certain key points.... you know... The most unimaginable shit any teacher could possibly come up with.

But ob boy, did it make me AWARE of what radio waves are and how much shit actually works via those... which is 100%... the answer is 100% of all our modern technology runs off of that shit.

I think you can guess where I'm going with this...

Did you know that the most modern types of frequency bands we have managed to harness for our convenience are ALSO very short? At least for home applications.. So if you buy a router that boasts 60 GHz tech, it's going to work within about 10ft (3m) of unobstructed space and then the signal just farts out of existence because the wavelenght is SO SHORT. This is also the reason why 5G technology is such a big fucking deal and it has been one of the biggest innovations in that field since at least the early 2000s (if not earlier) because it is true fast broadband that is affordable for the average consumer.

The nature of how all of this stuff works is inherently fascinating.

And even though when I had to write those essays back in the day, my partner had to actively stop me from trying to chew my fingers into bloody nubs, I nevertheless had some fun recently revisiting those previously written words for reasons I will elaborate upon shortly:

Which brings me neatly to our favourite strawberry pimp! Alastor.

Seriously, NOBODY is talking about how this guy should be frequency manipulation GOD. Probably because this is kinda very niche and technical and I wouldn't expect anyone to actually sink that much though into a fictional OC character back in 2005-2010 (I only thought about that stuff because I was forced to, after all, lol).

Injecting this very real and technical mumbo jumbo with some hellish magic and you have the perfect vehicle for a whole range of cool things that could be achieved.

Including, but not limited to:

-Control computers and any device that allows inputs via radio waves. Imitating yourself as a human interface device (bluetooth/2.4GHz/5GHz wifi/etc.) so you could type and use the mouse cursor with your mind? Yes. Flipping channels on a tv without a remote like that one kid in the X-Men movie? Yes, that. Sending and recieving text and/or voice messages on your phone without having to hold it in your hands? VERY Yes. Also: VERY on brand for this magnificent bastard.

-Attack people with the various ways our squishy and inadequate nervous system runs off of electrical impulses. For example: You can make people's hearts beat unevenly if you attack the (roughly) 10 Hz range. You can also give people something akin to barotrauma using something similar only attacking certain parts of the lungs...

So when people on social media go: Oh Alastor is sooo evil and Charlie is being manipulated because she doesn't see it.... Nononono, bitches. YOU don't understand. The man is actively shying away from all the really hideous and sadistic shit. Almost all of which would be 100% invisible to Charlie. Imagine the loan sharks instead of getting ripped appart by eldritch tentacles and a giant monster man, they just....dropped because their hearts had stopped beating. Or they lost all sense of self and wandered off because they forgot what they came here for. Charlie would go: "Huh. Weird, but ok. Conflict avoided."

Of course, Alastor could probably also do something like liquify someone's eyeballs by spiking a high frequency pulse towards that and then laugh at them until they grow new ones... but that would be telling.

So whenever someone tries to pull bullshit on you like that: you pull out the frequency manipulation and how Alastor is decidedly not doing all that.

You can basically win stupid prizes by playing stupid games. Hooray!

[chavahlahdraws]

writing prompt!!! maybe howl's pov of a scene in hmc where he Knows sophie's not an old woman but is so baffled and amused and fascinated trying to figure out what is actually going on with her. why is she like this. and why is he high-key into it?

OR

them working on a spell together and it goes disastrously wrong <3

im definitely going to do the second one too but … (fair warning i am an avid calling howl howell when it’s from his perspective supporter) also this has quite a bit of references to queer coded howl because i genuinely believe that at least part of why he had to escape to ingary is because he felt so out of place in our world :/ ANYWAYS

~~

Howell raced towards Mrs. Fairfax’s house with purpose. He may not have succeeded at wooing beautiful Lettie Hatter, but he was a changed man after his last visit with her. He had been right, all this time! Of course, Howell had known Sophie was under a spell all this time, but now that he knew for sure that Lettie was Sophie’s sister, he also knew for sure that he was right! Thank goodness she was so young, though, because he had begun to think himself a bit strange for his feelings about her. Now it all made perfect sense.

He was desperate for answers, because for some reason it was still entirely unclear why (or by who!) Sophie had been put under that spell. Howell was determined to find out, and he was determined to break the curse she was under because it was so far proving to be the most difficult he’d encountered yet.

“Dear Lettie!” He announced himself loudly at her door. Mrs. Fairfax answered.

“Mr. Oak,” She said politely, a smile plastered on her face. “Lettie’s just in the grove, picking apples.” Howell nodded, shuffling past her quickly.

“Lettie,” He said with an undeniably darling smile. The dark-haired, beautiful Hatter girl responded in kind. He knelt handsomely before her in her dainty little garden seat, brushing his pinkish-ginger hair out of his eyes. “How have you been, my dear?” He said charmingly.

“Alright.” Lettie said, smiling widely. She stayed unnaturally frozen like that for a moment. “...How is Sophie?”

“Sophie?” Howell raised an eyebrow. “Oh, she’s been a bit worse, pain-wise, but if you know her, you know that she won’t take that and she’s as rigid as ever. And I’ve been trying to help her.”

“Whatever do you mean?” Lettie seemed very concerned by that.

“Well, she’s quite an old woman,” said Howell. “You’d have to be half-sisters, at most, or perhaps she’s-”

Lettie looked like she was about to burst. “Did you do something to her?” She blurted, managing to keep that unnatural smile plastered over her face as she said it.

“Oh, no!” Howell said, quite defensively. “I wouldn’t. She’s been like that since I met her.”

“Sylvester!” Lettie shouted. “Is she alright?”

“She’s fine,” Howell said, taking Lettie’s hand in his. “She’s perfectly alright, Lettie. I promise you.”

She heaved a sigh of relief. Her exhaustingly wide smile turned into an adoring gaze again. “Good.” She said, still seeming a little strained. It was just then that Howell noticed a very familiar figure, poking her nosy self around the hedges. He almost laughed out loud, because the very girl he was here to inquire her sister about was standing in front of him, not fifty feet away! She really was quite a menace, that blasted woman!

It suddenly occurred to Howell that Sophie might be jealous of the attention he was affording her lovely sister. Her courting still had the potential to be a wonderful excuse to find out more about her. Goodness, was Sophie a force to be reckoned with! She must have used some of his old seven-league boots to get here so quickly.

The dog that had been behind Lettie emerged suddenly, and she instinctively pet him on the head.

Howell squinted. “...Would you feel well enough for me to leave now, dear?” He asked gently, still holding her hand. He supposed that Sophie was here to speak with her sister.

“Yes!” said Lettie. “I am perfectly fine, Sylvester! Shouldn’t you be going, anyway?”

She seemed rather in a hurry as well. Howell kissed the top of her hand. “Until we meet again, Lettie.”

“Thank you very much, sir.” She bowed gracefully.

Howell held his arms out, drawing a pentagram over the grass with his index fingers. He pointed one of his hands in the direction of Kingsbury and launched his opposite hand, making himself dart toward the city. The markets there were renowned for their quality, and Howell figured he should buy Sophie a few extravagant presents for all her trouble. And of course, something for Michael, too, so she didn’t think him too strange for fancying her as an old woman.

Besides, he thought, the two of them would certainly need something to wear to the palace, if they were ever to blacken his name in front of the King. But all the same, he felt like spending some money.

Howell exited the spell softly, landing himself in a dark alleyway so he wouldn’t be seen. He magicked his suit just a little less noticeable, cast a spell of unrecognizability and stepped out into the sunlight. Admittedly, going out on the town was far less enjoyable when he couldn’t be lauded for his impressive sense of style. The boys back home always teased him for it. Dreadfully, too. He found he fit in better in Ingary anyways.

When he turned his head, Howell was suddenly captivated by a dazzling grey silk dress, sitting in the gold-laden window of a luxury shop. Oh, and there was a shawl to match! The thought of his old rugby mates suddenly vanished. Sophie would probably love it. It was as unassuming as she’d like to be, but surely as beautiful as she was too.

She had always rather reminded him of that girl he’d met on May Day, that lovely red-headed girl who’d been so scared. Howell hoped that was Sophie. He purchased the outfit immediately and walked out of the shop gallant, feeling like a new man again. He’d forgotten how rejuvenating this was!

More importantly, he thought, if Sophie was the girl he’d met on May Day, how had such a timid mouse of a girl gotten herself tangled up in this mess? Lettie didn’t match her beauty by any means, even in that little grey dress. Howell stopped in his tracks again, his eyes drawn to a fine petticoat shop to his right. He bought four from it, to go along with her dress. Grey as a color is generally very versatile.

Howell was still thinking about Sophie when he bought a velvet suit tailored perfectly to Michael’s measurements (which he had thankfully brought along). Then, in order to keep from buying another for himself, he picked up two more petticoats, some stockings and a pair of boots for Sophie.

“Who would have thought!” Howell said to himself after he had hauled the last of the parcels over his shoulders. “I’m such a generous soul,” He said, thoroughly pleased with himself. He’d better get back to the castle so he could get them their gifts. Howell cast a simple return spell with a circle drawn in the air and with one snap of his fingers, he was standing beside Calcifer’s grate.

“Where have you been?” He sizzled angrily, his green eyebrows furrowed. “Everyone’s been gone all day.”

“Oh, I know,” said Howl, setting the parcels down on the spelling table. “Sophie is up to all sorts of mischief, isn’t she?”

“And she’s brought Michael along with her.” Calcifer grumbled.

“She’s going to poison his young, spotless mind.” Howell sighed. “I’m going to wash up.” He said, dusting the ash off of his hands. “Please heat the water, Cal!” He sang as he ran up the stairs.

“Oh, bother!” Calcifer shouted after him. “Just wait until Sophie gets back!”

[desultory-novice]

oh my god i just had A Thought. ok so in star allies there's a celebration image called "rockability and blues" which has taranza reaching out to the dimension mirror with sectonia in the background and joronia on the other side of the mirror, and when dedede finds the mirror he instantly encounters his mirror world self, so. what if sectonia is somehow mirror world joronia and joronia is still in the mirror world somewhere. that probably wouldn't hold up canonically but it would still be cool

Honestly, seeing as how the OG, Dark Meta Knight, successfully sealed Meta Knight in the mirror world for a time, it's not that farfetched of an idea!

I think the only thing standing in the way of that theory being super plausible is that I imagine Director Kumazaki would probably prefer Sectonia be "responsible" for her own evil deeds and face the outcome of them, rather than the Sectonia we fought being an evil mirror clone while "our" sweet Joronia did nothing wrong. Sniffle...

(My many years as an anime/game fan has taught me that generally speaking "They were just controlled/brainwashed/body-swapped" is not a very popular lead in for "...which is why X did nothing wrong!!" A lot of creators want their characters to take SOME responsibility, even if the situation got out of their hands really quickly.

I think that's why most of Kirby's "sympathetic" last bosses all have serious character flaws. Hyness was stabbed in the back by his planet and put under immense pressure to care for an entire subset of a population, but the way he channels his anger is still considered "unjustified." Magolor "just" wanted to build the galaxy's best theme park, but there was some darkness there, a larger than normal dose of ambition, that allowed the Master Crown to sway his thoughts.)

It is still incredibly fascinating! Particularly when it comes to imagining what a Mirror Joronia's personality was like BEFORE she started body-swapping like mad. Joronia might have always been fascinated by the idea by being stronger, more beautiful... the perfect queen, but never really been able to act on it? Just like Meta Knight fights against his powerful love of battle, in contrast to Dark Meta Knight who doesn't let anything or anyone take him away from the fight. So Mirror Joronia would be the one to go, "...Why don't I just take someone ELSE's strength? Someone else's beauty?" 

And of course, then they could still go into the mirror-verse and rescue Taranza's Joronia. Hey, if the novelization of Planet Robobot let Susie's papa survive Star Dream exploding (:handwaves like wild:) that would be a decent way for a potential Triple Deluxe novelization to have a similarly happy/bittersweet ending. Taranza giving his thanks to everyone while saying something like, "The Joronia I know is still out there. I just need to find her."

Of course the novels went ahead and canonized her death before she even got to appear in them sooo...

...

...

You know, at the same time, I can't shake the feeling that anything could still happen on that front? Does everyone remember the Kirby Twitter account having Magolor talk about DMK and the Dimension Mirror kinda recently? Sure, they say it's because DMK's mask was popular the time but what if it was a hint we'll be revisiting that plot later? Sectonia seems pretty popular amongst the (non-brought back to life) last bosses. And look what popularity did for Magolor!

I also get the feeling that Kumazaki may have more to say about her down the line? RtDL as a game was very "chatty." TDX was light on talking (way too light, IMO) and I feel like that was to make-up for RtDL's bevy of dialogue.

But you know that, even if we didn't see a lot of world-building in game, Kumazaki did a LOT of writing and thinking about that story. (The friggin' sun stones, man. Their petals are the same as the Master Crown's leaves...)

Kumazaki also loves his girl bosses. Drawcia was from a spinoff game, but look at her now! She's the only "spinoff" game character to get a dress-up mask! She has, for all intents and purposes, been bumped up to "basically canon." An honor not even Fluff has gotten.

Sectonia, like Drawcia, keeps appearing in these unexpected places. Getting a nod from Ohmoto and Kumazaki at the music fest and such. (Or getting her pre-corruption name dropped in Gourmet Fest. No one asked them to do that, but they did.)

So I don't know.

It's probably not a bad idea to keep an open mind as to her status...

[meet-you-at-the-north-star]

2, 5 and 10 for the HBO War Game! 👁️👄👁️

2. Which series of the four is your favorite? Why?

My favorite is still definitely Band of Brothers, I just think it’s perfect all around: the concept, the writing, the directing, the actors. Plus it’s the one I resonated the most on the whole on an emotional level. But somewhat surprisingly, when I eventually checked out Generation Kill it became a close second for me. I need a rewatch to solidify that, but I think the reason I love it so much is it sets out to do the exact opposite of what Band of Brothers does, so much so that in many ways it feels like a mirror to it (the “dark” side of the coin, if you will), but does it just as well. While TP and MoTA, while I love so much about them, both have their faults and are not as cohesive in their themes and intentions.

5. Favorite/least favorite The Pacific characters? Why?

Favorite is obv Leckie. I think I unconsciously fell in love with him from the very first scene. He’s such a fascinating, multi-faceted character and one I relate to on so many levels. The intellectualism, the artistic inclination, his struggles with authority. The result of being subtly neglected and deprived of real connection all your life which makes you feel like no one will ever see you, let alone love you, for who you really are. His questioning of faith and becoming more and more cynical when he’s confronted with the horror mankind is capable of, with the senselessness of it all. He’s just so human and vulnerable, and his arc really conveys the enormity of the war experience so wonderfully.

Least favorite, might be a bit of a hot take but I have to say John Basilone. Obviously there are other minor characters I like less, but for being one of our big 3 I think his characterization and entire narrative arc over the course of the series to be extremely lacking. It always remains pretty surface level, we never really get a clear sense of who he was beyond the role of “hero” he was unwillingly forced into. The only episode where he feels like a real person to me is also his last, so I think it’s also an issue with the pacing of the show, but either way I think he’s the weak link compared to the beautiful portrayals of Leckie and Sledge.

10. Which Band of Brothers scene broke your heart the most?

So many heartbreaking moments in the show, but the only one that actually made me tear up was the ending. Especially when the narration got to “My friend Lew died in 1998” and then it cuts to the real Dick Winters and the famous last quote. Oh man. I think Damian said in the podcast that it’s impossible not to be moved by that and he was so right.

[kiefbowl]

Not the same anon but re : HIMYM. My god. My god I could write a book on the horrid misogyny in this goddamn show. The waving away that Barney is a fucking rapist (rape by deception). The fact that lily went from aspiring artist to breeding housewife to marshal, who of course got to fulfill all of his dreams as a judge while she stays at home, unfulfilled. Ted who is the most boring mediocre man of all time yet expects his perfect little wife to be perfect in every way.

I could BARF anytime I think back on this show

It's actually fascinating to me re: Marshall/Lily that the writers seemed to lose interest in their drama and conflicts. I think one of the big reasons HIMYM was lauded in the first season and really gave it an oomph in the second was the fact that Lily leaves Marshall! It not something typically done in a sitcom, it was very compelling writing and it paralleled nicely with Ted/Robin's story (not only because they got together, but because we the audience know that Marshall and Lily are quote unquote soulmates, and Ted and Robin are not...at least at the time of writing it).

The story role of Marshall/Lily and Barney switch places at some point. The pathos of Barney's character truly doesn't matter in the first two and a half seasons. He's comic relief, he's player C for the B-plot. Very normal in a sitcom, you have five main players so you can pair two characters in the A plot (or the B plot sometimes), and the other 3 characters are doing the B-plot (or sometimes the A plot). One of the five tends to be, you know, the goof guy. He's not integral to the main over arching story, he comes in to be an imp and cause mischief and be a catalyst for some mayhem. Barney is clearly specifically written in that archetype from the very beginning. Now as sitcoms go on, these "fifth guys" do tend to have their role expanded and we will get more insight into the drama of their lives. They rarely get to be "promoted" as Barney did, even if they are a huge break-out character, like Barney was. Sometime the "fifth guy" is so break-out they become the main character, but that tends to make the sitcom very zany!! We're going to sea world! We're going to SPPPAAACE!!! etc. Barney wasn't made the lead, but his story was promoted. Marshall and Lily's dramas were then demoted.

This was a mistake, because Marshall and Lily were given a lot of story lines that weren't appropriate for Ted but fit into the theme of the show (the theme being "how are you still growing up in your 30s in the 2000s"). When should we have a family, what are our careers going to be, what have we lost by being each other's "only ones", did we choose New York, debt...these were interesting story beats for a sitcom.

I also have a conspiracy the writers were secretly torturing Jason Segel. They didn't actually care about Ted and Robin, they just wanted to make PG Saw Traps for Jason Segel. At some point the writers said "fuck our original vision, I personally want to make Jason Segel suffer." In season 8 they made him break the fourth wall (a thing they only did ONCE before to great effect) like six times already!!!! They want to kill that man!!! They wanted Jason Segel to die!!! They made Jason Segel show up to set at gun point and then gave him a doo doo garbage script on purpose!!!

Joking aside, yes it's atrocious they didn't use Marvin (the baby) as a jumping off point for Lily's career story. We had to spend time farting around about Barney getting a dog wing man (painfully unfunny) instead of spending some time with Lily's anxieties again (it's been well established and set up!!) that becoming a mother has put her that further out of reach of her art career. Again, haven't finished, but I don't think they really go back to this story beat.

only theory that makes sense is that they wanted Jason Segel to jump off a cliff and tried their hardest by making the most dookie hot garbage scripts they could think of.

[thou-babbling-brook]

Temptations of Eden

AO3

Rating: G

Word Count: 1382

Tags: Apple of Eden, Canon Compliant, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, AC1 Week

Summary: Altaïr, old and tired and wise, reflects on the Apple of Eden still whispering in his mind. This is my first time posting a fanfiction of mine on here, so I hope you guys enjoy!

Admittedly, Altaïr found most of his Assassin lessons as a child boring. It was a curious thing for the wise, old Assassin to reflect on given his love for knowledge, but it was true. He loathed cloudy mornings inside of Al Mualim’s study, eyelids fluttering shut while Al Mualim spoke of strategy, philosophy, language, history, and mathematics. What eleven-year-old boy would not? No, Altaïr much preferred to flick pieces of parchment from his notes at Abbas, giggling until scolded by the practically ancient Master of the Assassins. Altaïr chuckled in his seat. Ancient, he repeated with a sly smile. Al Mualim had been 56 years old when Altaïr became the Master (or Mentor, as he preferred) of the Assassins. Sitting in his chair in the room he once listened to these lectures in, Altaïr was 36 years Al Mualim’s senior. What a cruel twist of fate, he chuckled.

There was one lesson that always captivated him, however: religion. Religion both confused and fascinated the boyish Altaïr. Of course, it made perfect sense why he was so intrigued by it - religion felt relevant to the young boy. Two crusades had already ravaged the Holy Land in a gruesome battle over Christianity and Islam. It was the defining aspect of life in the Levant. Yet, Altaïr always felt confused by both wars.

“I don’t understand!” He had told Al Mualim one bright and sunny morning as snow melted away in Masyaf. The lesson was already finished, Abbas skipping down the steps to the courtyard to watch the older Assassins spar. “Why do they keep fighting? Don’t they worship the same god?”

Al Mualim had stood in front of the ornate window and stared into the courtyard. ”Perhaps,” he had answered. ”But do you get along with every boy you train with, simply because you fight for a common purpose?” It was a gross oversimplification, ignoring the complexities that made each religion separate and the geopolitical contexts of each crusade, but it was enough to stir Altaïr’s young mind.

“No,” he had answered.

“Why? Do you not serve the same order? Fight for the same cause?”

“Some of them are dumb,” Altaïr muttered, crossing his arms and staring out beside Al Mualim into the courtyard. 

“Not dumb, Altaïr. They simply think differently from you. They have different ideas, different thoughts, different dreams. They could easily say the same of you, child. That you are the foolish one.”

“But I’m not!”

Al Mualim had laughed and clasped Altaïr’s shoulder. “You have discovered, then, the reason behind these crusades - differences of thoughts, of values, of ideas, and of perspectives. When you are old enough to fight for our cause, you must remember these things. Every man believes what he is doing is right. Every man believes he is not the ‘dumb’ one. Every man believes his religion, his thoughts, and his ideas are correct. You must look onward and know the truth.”

“Nothing is true,” Altaïr had remembered.

“Everything is permitted,” Al Mualim had finished.

When Altaïr became an Assassin, Al Mualim’s lessons grew few and far between, usually arising as punishment for misdeeds or lessons following an assassination. Each one grew more cryptic with every year. Illusions, temptations, and hypocrisy became common themes for every lesson, no matter the subject. These themes all came to fruition with the Templar treasure. A treasure, Altaïr reflected, that he still held in his hand after nearly six decades. 

“It is temptation,” Al Mualim had described the Templar treasure. Warned? Threatened?

“It’s just a piece of silver,” Altaïr had replied. The old man nearly barked a laugh at the memory. If only.

“Get rid of that thing!” Maria had screamed. Altaïr blinked. No. No she had not. He had not met the fierce former Templar yet. Or had he? Was she still in England at the time? No, wasn’t she at Masyaf by then?

The aged Assassin glanced down at the Apple of Eden within his hand, fingers rubbing his temple. It grew harder each day to separate the past, present, and future as the Apple whispered its secrets like hushed prayers in his mind.

Maria. He missed her. How long had it been since he had stepped away from the Apple to see her? Hours? Days?

Years, Altaïr’s vicious mind reminded him. She was dead. She had been dead for almost thirty years. So were Malik and Sef. Then why did he hear their voices so clearly? Why could he feel a tender touch against his shoulder that only Maria or Malik could offer?

The old man shivered and blinked hard. There was no one with him. The castle was all but abandoned. Frigid winds from the snowstorm outside the castle’s walls slipped through broken cracks in the windows. He was alone, the last man standing. 

“He who increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow.” How right those words had been. And Altaïr had known they were. One only needed to look at the book of Genesis. Adam and Eve had taken a bite of the famed apple, gaining knowledge at the expense of paradise in the Garden of Eden. The very Apple of Eden he held. The very orb in his hand that glowed with golden rays of light and whispered secrets of the past and present and future in his mind.

They had begged him to stop, Maria and Malik and Al Mualim. Sometimes, he heard their whispers radiating from the Apple, taunting and begging and pleading with him.

“Destroy it! Destroy it, as you said you would!” Al Mualim taunted.

“You are addicted to it, Altaïr. Leave it!” Malik begged.

“What happens to us, Altaïr? To our family? What does the Apple say?!” Maria pleaded. 

“Listen, and learn what we could not,” another voice chimed. Juno, Altaïr recalled.

Perhaps the Apple should have stayed in Eden. Man would not be forced to labor and wallow in his own grief and pain. Man’s existence would be confined to the walls of the Garden of Eden, lounging about in fruitful lands. But like Eve, Altaïr was tempted by its whispers and promises in the slithering shadows.

Maria once asked him why he kept the Apple. Altaïr often pondered the question himself. It had cost him everything in his life. His wife, his friends, his son, his family, his Brotherhood… yet, even in the darkest pits of his depression, when his hidden blade seemed so enticing against his throat, Altaïr grabbed the golden orb and opened his ears to its soft whispers.

“Curiosity,” he answered. Maria had scoffed at that, muttering something about reading a book or scroll instead if he was so curious. But it was the truth. Each whisper and tidbit of knowledge left him more intrigued than before, reeling him closer to the Apple and tempting him with more. To learn more from these goddesses - no, beings, mortals like him. He wanted to know what they knew, hear what they heard, see what they saw. But even when he drew away, content with the knowledge he had learned, both beings whispered secrets he could not resist, whispering of prophecies to foretell and men to play God with. 

Perhaps that was man’s fate - to be tempted with whispers of what they desired most, even if it meant their ruin, and be used as pawns in a greater game beyond their measly understanding. For Altaïr, it was knowledge. But in his quest for knowledge, he had seen visions of men - no, Assassins - who would take his place as toys for these jaded beings. Young Assassins, just as young as he had once been, seeking vengeance, love, hope, and peace. Young Assassins who would fight through Heaven and Hell and gain nothing from their plights. It ached Altaïr’s heart to see, but it was not his place to argue. He was a prophet, nothing more and nothing less. 

Altaïr chuckled to himself. Only his mind could wander so far from remembering boring childhood lectures to contemplating man’s existence and place in this world. Then again, what else did he have to do? He was a tired, lonely old man in an abandoned castle with nothing but a golden orb in his hand buzzing with knowledge.

Perhaps, then, if he had nothing else to do, one last look into Eden would not hurt. 

[respondedinkind]

your name: Tony Stark

Romantic or platonic?: Either works

A night in or dinner out or an activity?: A night in so that we don't have to deal with the world's press knowing our business

Ice cream or chocolate covered strawberries?: Both, always. Unless you're allergic?

What's your perfect date?: One that involves excitement. Sometimes it's fun to just say fuck it, shall we hop on a jet to somewhere more exotic to have our date?

Would you cook for me?: I could, can't promise that it will be anything fantastic though

Would you let me cook for you?: Sure, I'm willing to let that happen

Can we make-out?: Of course.

Make out in private or in public?: Private works best, unless you're ok with being in the newspapers?

Do you like to cuddle?: ...yes, just don't tell anyone.

Blankets or no blankets for cuddling?: Either. But blankets makes things extra cosy.

Couch or bed?: For cuddling? Couch first, bed second.

What are at least 3 hobbies of yours?: Does saving the world count? If not - classic cars, building tech and.... i do enjoy karaoke ok?

Tell me something about you no else knows: I really enjoy watching romcoms.

Why do you want to be my valentine?: Because I think we could get along well and I'm fascinated by you and your life. Plus you're hot ok?

What makes you a good Valentine?: I might not seem like it but i always take note of what my partner likes and try to incorporate it into our lives. So for example, you tell me that you like when a partner plays with your hair, I'll do that. I'm a bit of a hopeless romantic even if I don't show it.

(@mxrvelouscreations

Valentine's Applications || Accepting

"---Sounds intriguing, all things considered. Most things I'm quite pleased about..."

"...I shall accept this one. Looking forward to find out whether the man behind the application lives up to the expectations he's created."

[faulty-writes]

Hi so weird question about love. I was using character ai and I was talking to bakugou<3

Then I ask him a silly question(more like a hypothetical question) if he would love me if I were a man... He got grossed out. 😭

I'm like... Confused and hurt? I know it's ai and I shouldn't take it seriously— but it got me thinking, so uh, hypothetical question: if your partner said no that they won't love you if you turn into a man even though they said: "I love you no matter what" do they actually love you?

For me, love is love, we shouldn't let gender get in the way... And it's still the same person they love but different genitals, so fault, thoughts?

As a psychology student this question fascinates me and I'm so ready to answer! It's completely normal to feel hurt. Yes, the "character" you were talking to was AI but the conversation you were having relates to a real and serious issue and one that most take to heart because it affects their sense of being. In other words, it's normal to feel both proud and defensive regarding who we identify as whether that's a man, woman, both, neither, or something off the traditional spectrum of gender and or gender identity. When we feel that hit to our pride, it does, most of the time, bring with it negative feelings. So again, I wouldn't worry because how you reacted was quite "normal" in terms of emotions. As for romantic partners and rejection relating to possibly identifying as transgender, going through any transgender transitions (Female to male, Male to Female), or experiencing any form of gender dysphoria (Confusion in relation to one's birth sex and the sex they feel as though they align with) I would have to say that sadly their love is not true. While I can sympathize with being attracted to and finding certain "genitals" more appealing, you're correct in saying that regardless of what one identifies as, they are still the same person they have always been and it's that same person that their romantic partner fell in love with. Unfortunately, it's easy to say that they should (In a perfect world) continue to love you regardless of who you are or who you become. But again, if they can't see past gender and to the person, the human being that lies underneath, then they are not worth your time or energy, and they are certainly not worth your love. Of course, I will say that I am biased given that I am pansexual and therefore find most, if not all, romantic or sexual attraction stemming from one's personality rather than gender identity. It's a fickle matter, but the bottom line is if they don't love you for you then it's simply not meant to be, and you should never beg or change yourself to be somebody that they will love. Not only is that wrong considering you shouldn't ever have to plead for someone's love, but you are also denying yourself being the person you are meant to be. If people can't deal with who you are, that's their problem to fix, not yours. Apologies for the long rant, but what can I say? I enjoy running my mouth when I get certain questions. Anyways, I hope you feel better. Remember Faulty is always on your side and my Bakugou loves all! <3

[voicesofchaos]

Zexal Month - The Magician

So today we are supposed to talk about our favorite Duel Monster or Number specifically. I feel like I always share that clip of Beyond The Hope’s Summoning so going to do something a little bit different this time. A lot of different Numbers get used in both the anime and manga. But the Numbers that always fascinated me are the ones released in the card game after both had ended. For a fanfic I have wanted to write for a long time would be a rewrite from a different point of view and a genre shift. One of the goals of that fanfic would be to all Numbers 1 through 100 get used in some way so I have spent a long time thinking about these 30 unused Numbers and how they would be used in the series. So this post is going to go through all 30 cards and I will explain who I think should use each one. Some are very obvious and self-explanatory but some others are very weird and out there. So hopefully this post is amusing and maybe educational. Be warned it will be very long! @zexalmonth

Tron. Making it his 3rd Number and being tied with IV for Numbers used.

This is a bit of a weird one because the “Wyrm” monster type didn’t come out until Arc-V so it literally couldn’t have existed in Zexal. Despite that though I assign this card to Mizael. I feel like all the Barians would have at least 1 backup Number 1-100 that isn’t their Legendary (Mythyrian) Number. Mizael is a dragon tamer and this is close to a dragon but also a huge edgelord.

Space-themed monster. This is totally V’s number. Psychic type monsters are even used by his dad and his brother, III. Sadly only raising V’s number count to 2 and behind the rest of his family as we will see. Alternatively, in the manga this would belong to Eviluder who used Number 42: Galaxy Tomahawk (which I would also assign to V to being his Number count to 3).

Anna of course! She even summons it in Duel Links! Making this card the only card in this list to appear in a semi-canon Zexal story!

Cathy. And honestly it seems so perfect for her style.

III. Giving him a 3rd Number (Not counter Number 32) and getting him to keep up with IV.

This is definitely the single hardest card to assign on this list. I am simply going to give it to Rokujuro because the card has old man vibes. 

Durbe. That might seem weird but what is this monster holding and what meme is Durbe most famous for? BOOKS! Durbe very much seems like the “prophet” character archetype.

Kotori! Her name means little bird and I feel like the colors would even match her style. 

Gilag. Another kind of weird one but his archetype is Hands after-all. They even have a similar body type.  

So you are probably thinking yet another Number for Yuma. But actually one other character in the series has played Gogogo Golem. Yup! The man who Yuma got his deck from! Tsukumo Kazuma! Yuma’s dad totally deserves his own number!

Cool 3-headed FIRE dragon. I feel like either Mizael or Kaito could have this one but I am going to give this one to Kaito. This was definitely one of those initial 10 Numbers Kaito had already hunted before the series started.

Alit. Okay hear me out because I know this is a stretch. This is a FIRE monster and only Alit plays those. Few characters across all Yugioh series play FIRE monster. But also I headcanon that Alit would totally be obsessed with reality/celebrity cooking TV shows or just a huge fan of Food Wars! I know we don’t see that side of him in the show but the same energy is there.

Going real obscure here with Jin (Fortuno in the dub). The guy that worshipped Kaito for no real reason and had both Number 11 and 16. Yeah, let’s give him a 3rd Number as if he needed another but come one this card has his style.

Only one character uses dice and luck. Charlie McCoy! I don’t blame you if you don’t remember him either. Sadly not the last time he will be on this list.

I take it back. This is the hardest. Being a sky prison I feel like Eliphas would vibe with this, maybe after being corrupted and made evil by its influence. Alternatively for the manga, I really want to give Luna a Number and sure this makes enough sense if you stretch it.

Obviously Shark but more specifically Nasch. If you want to be spicey you could say this belonged to past-life Nasch.

Okay I don’t have a lot of reasoning for this but I strongly feel like this card belongs to Droite. She uses Butterfly Assassins and this guy is totally an assassin. 

So you could easilly say Number 96: Dark Mist for this one. But for a more creative option I am going to Tsukumo Akari gets corrupted by this Number as she is chasing a story. Alternatively in the manga, Shadow would use this as his Number 48: Shadow Lich is on of the 3 monsters in the background and it also fits him.

I’m breaking the rules here. This Number belongs to Hiragi Yuzu from Arc-V who ended up in Zexal while dimension-hopping. 

This just has to be Astral of course.

Alit’s true Number!

Anna! She even has a voice line for it in Duel Links apparently!

Charlie McCoy yet again!

Gauche’s number!

I get both Rio and Droite vibes from this one. But sadly reaching into the obscure makes the most sense here with Aika Hanazoe (Lotus Hanazoe) who was Rio’s first on-screen duel and used Battlecruiser Dianthus. 

I really wish I could tell what was going in this artwork but every version it just looks weird. I feel like it would be a Cyberse monster now a days. I feel like you could this off as belonging to Vector. But more so on the manga side I could totally see this as Kyoji Yagumo card, a fitting 8th Number for him.

So obviously a Kaito card but what if instead this was used by Haruto to backup and support his brother’s battles? Haruto does use a Number (28) so why not give him a cool supportive Number as well.

A DARK version of Mizael’s Legendary Number (46) so I can’t in good consciousness give this to Mizael and it doesn’t fit Kaito either. So I am actually going to give this to Don Thousands as a means to corrupt Mizael and others.

On the anime side this belongs exclusively to Dark Zexal. But for the manga, this clearly belongs to E’Rah whose ace monster was Anti-Hope God Of Despair. Yeah this totally the Numbers version of that card.