#not even into DC but I’ll reblog this

[malenjoyer]

Good morning 🙏🏼

I want to thank everyone their support with reblogging my stuff over the years and reblogging some of the context of the situation.

Tumblr and Instagram is filled with the most supportive people I’ve ever had the chance of meeting. The last time something like this happened, I didn’t have much support, not even from people I thought were close to me. It took me a year or two to be okay with being perceived again in fandoms. So I’m very grateful for everything.

I just wanted to post that I appreciate all of the asks and I’ve been reading all of them. I actually get anxious I’m spamming everyone too much so I probably won’t reply to everything. Please don’t feel pressured to support me financially, there’s is a free option on patreon to follow. I’ll post future project plans and occasional updates because I still love comics and I still love DC/Marvel. I do enjoy having people following along for my art/reading journey so I would always be okay with people just following for free. My brain is telling me this post is too long now so I will go 🙏🏼😭

[alexsoenomel]

The Apparition (Dean Winchester x Reader angst-ish/fluff-ish/smut-ish)

Summary: Dean can't sleep, until you show up.

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Warnings: just...sad. Dean is sad+ light smut.

Word count: 1.5k

Note: I was sad and listening to Sleep Token. Fic inspired by one of their songs The Apparition (my personal favorite) . Enjoy!

Like/ reblog or both if you like it :)  

He tossed and turned for hours before he eventually fell asleep. Every night was the same; an endless cycle of sorrow and sleepless hours.  He would be exhausted the next day, barely keeping it together, even after his daily dose of black coffee, and yet he did absolutely nothing to change anything. Insomnia became his friend and he was more than happy to accept it. His brother tried to talk to him but he didn’t want to hear the sound of your name – hearing it would mean he had to face the truth and he wasn’t ready to open that box yet. 

Not until you came back. Not until he finally saw you again and your name left his lips. He was drinking beer in his favorite pub, when he saw you, beautiful as always and with a smile so otherworldly he couldn’t help but smile back. Like a drug, you went straight into his system and he wanted nothing more but to get another hit, and another and another…

“Why did you leave?” Dean asked you after you ordered the same beer he was drinking. 

You smiled softly. “I never left Dean.” 

“You were never a good liar, you know.” 

You were sitting in comfortable silence, drinking cheap beer, Dean swallowing every drop violently, trying to numb the pain that started creeping in all of the sudden. Your taste buds on the other hand were dull, so beer had a peculiar taste of nothing. Almost like water. Bar music was playing in the background, but you were too fixed on his gaze to distinguish what song was playing. 

“I told you, I’ll be back.” You finally confessed. 

Dean’s eyes softened, his jaw was tense and hurting. He ignored the pain, looking you in the eyes. He missed those eyes, but something about them was different this time – they seemed tired and the spark you once had was completely gone. 

“Will you stay this time?” His voice was weak. He swallowed nervously when he realized how pathetic his words were. 

“Take me home.” You simply said. 

Dean still wanted to know the answer, but was also pleased with what his ears heard. Like an addict he was, he immediately took your hand and went straight to his car. You were wearing your favorite pair of jeans and his old AC/DC shirt – the one you told him you would give back, eventually. That day never came.

“Nice shirt.” He commented. 

“Thanks. I got it from an idiot.” You smiled and went into the car. Dean looked down with a smirk before opening the door of his beloved Baby. He missed you dearly.

The drive was silent. No music and no words exchanged. Just his hand tightly holding yours. He missed feeling your skin under his fingertips. Your skin was cold but still familiar. Your touch was familiar. 

“Are you cold, sweetheart?” He quickly glanced at you before looking back at the dark foggy road. 

“No.” You answered.  

The drive seemed oddly longer than before or Dean was just impatient. It was the most important drive of his life. He was finally ready to feel whole again. He was ready to let go and just let you take the wheel. He was growing tired. 

The night was darker today, no stars in sight and everything around you just blended into black nothingness. 

***

The bunker was cold as always. A familiar smell of old books and booze filled your nostrils as you stepped inside. Your home still felt like home. 

The lights were off so you assumed Sam was already asleep, but didn’t ask. Dean took you to his room – his hands felt a little bit sweaty. He was nervous. 

He closed his door before facing you again. Without a word, in complete darkness he cupped your face and kissed you, finally reminding his kiss starved lips of the touch that once was. They were cold, but too sweet to pull away. You kissed him back, your lips perfectly melting into his as your body started to react. The vibrations of your heart beat spread all over your body, legs slowly giving up before Dean picked you up when you wrapped your hands around his neck. Sometimes you’d wonder if he could read your mind; always knowing what you needed, what you thought, or if you were just two lost souls that already knew each other in every realm of the universe. 

Clothes started slowly falling down from your bodies, desperation taking both of your touched starved bodies. You were hungry and each kiss, touch and bite satisfied that hunger, but it didn’t subside. It was only growing stronger. 

He was on top of you, whispering how much he missed you, asking you if you were still his, secretly terrified of the answer. 

“Forever yours, Dean!” You would tell him every time. Kisses were sweet and loving, his fingers tracing every inch of your body, mapping it, even though he already knew every nook and cranny. Every mole on your body was a little star he desperately wanted to reach, every scar was a reminder of your strength and resilience and he couldn’t get enough of it. 

The kisses became impatient, deep, while his hand went between your thighs, before feeling your wetness through your underwear. A sigh escaped your lips as he was exploring your sex with his index finger. 

“Fuck!” He whispered, placing a kiss on your neck. 

You cupped his face with both of your hands, forcing him to look at you. Even in darkness he was as beautiful as day. Every curve of his face perfectly fit in the palms of your hands. He was made for you. He was made to love you, just as much you were made to love him.

“I love you!” You whispered. He wanted to say it back, but you swallowed his words with a kiss before he could tell you. 

He took off your underwear as well as his boxers before finally entering you. Soft moans filled the room as he filled you up. 

“Move, please!” You said, kissing his shoulder. 

His pace was slow at first, he was worshiping every part of you, wanting nothing more, but for you to feel comfortable and loved. You were his home, his sanctuary and he was like a guard dog – loyal and there to protect you.

Your fingers dug into his shoulder blades when the pleasure started taking you over and his pace became more intense. Messy kisses were placed all over each other’s bodies, praises from his perfectly pink lips escaped; how good you were, how beautiful and perfect you were to him… 

“I love you so much, Dean!” You said. 

“I love you too, sweetheart!” He said it back. 

But it was too late.

You were gone. 

His phone was playing the same obnoxious melody he heard a million times when it was time to wake up. He was covered in sweat, panting and his blanket was on the floor.  He groaned and snoozed the alarm. Your side of the bed was empty as he instinctively went to hug you, but only felt the cold sheets next to him. He closed his eyes again and saw you in that oversized AC/DC shirt and underwear with bed hair, calling him – wishing him good morning but only in the past. The future didn’t exist with you anymore. All the what if’s died. 

He couldn’t sleep anymore, remembering your absence made his heart physically hurt. He sat up, morning erection already gone and rubbed his temples. The whiskey from last night helped him cope but didn’t make the pain go away; instead it just added more to it. His mouth was dry, but he was too lazy to stand up and get himself a glass of water. 

“Fucking hell!” He mumbled. 

Sam knocked two times before opening the door. 

“Hey!” 

“Hey!” Dean said. 

The sight of his older brother broke Sam a little. Seeing him getting consumed by grief and losing control over himself made him feel powerless. Dean wasn’t someone who would ask for help, not even his brother sometimes. Sam knew he had to let him ride this one out by himself. 

“How’re you holding up?” Sam asked, already knowing the answer. 

“Peachy.” Dean said, looking at him with an empty stare. 

“We will get her back, you know!” Sam told him. First time he actually dared to say those forbidden words. Dean hated false hope and Sam knew that, but he also knew his big brother and his abilities. They both cheated death multiple times so believing in the impossible was nothing strange – their job was the impossible. 

Sam looked down, feeling nervous about his brother’s response. The last thing he wanted was to give Dean false hope and make him mad, but this wasn’t false hope. For him this was a fact. 

Dean just looked at him and without a word went to the bathroom. 

And with that, another day of trying to find a way to bring you back from hell had begun. 

[hanasnx]

diff anon but what fandoms did you meet your close moots through? i don’t know if that counts as indy lore

that counts! more under the cut. i wanted to talk about all my mutuals

@its-clockwork-princess one of my best, oldest, and dearest friends. years and years of friendship, roleplay, fanfiction, writing. every time i see a duo on screen or in any media my first thought is always her and my second thought is always “us.” we went through a thousand different fandoms and i can’t remember our first but we definitely bonded heavily over fandoms like marvel, dc, and fnaf at the very early stages of our friendship. her dad was actually dating my mom for a long time, which gave us plenty of time together. literally cant even summarize everything we’ve gone through together, everything we’ve built, seriously been friends for a decade and i plan on staying that way for the rest of my life. i cant imagine my life without her, how bleak and colorless it would’ve been. i’m honored to know such a generous and kind person, and someone who helped shape me into who i am today. a love truly unconditional.

@ohgodmyeyes loved his takes on anakin, thought he was so real and so down to earth even though he could stand to be more egotistical considering how talented he is. i think about a certain post he made about anakin -> vader's dick literally once a day. i'm not even exaggerating at all when i say it was my roman empire. in just that small amount of time i was taught his quiet confidence, his exquisite way with words, and his unapologetic thought process. i maintain a distance from him because i'm playing the long game and from what i've seen on his personal posts i feel like he might be overwhelmed if i come on too strong, as i often do. but that doesn't stop me from grinning every time i see him in my notifs and i get to think, "this message was approved by ohgodmyeyes." very proudly.

@somuchfrstardust we talked in the comment section of anakin edits on tiktok i feel like and then i was like "hey wanna be friends" and we haven't talked in a while but that's totally cool, that's just how i am. i still consider them my friend i think they're a rly cool person.

@banakinbabygirl was one of the first anakin/hayden blogs i followed, i love how they write smut. it's a very emotional way of writing, very heavy on the descriptions and realistic reactions that drew me in and kept me there.

@starmanskywalker is one of my favorite writers in general. anything on her masterlist is an instant recommendation from me, instant like, instant reblog, instant indy review. i'm such a jealous person in general but the way i feel about alanis' writing is beyond jealousy. it's admiration, it's fondness, it's awe. i don’t feel envious i feel fulfilled. i was very proud to become her mutual, her friend, be on a first name basis with her, and write fanfiction with her. we have a collab we've been working on for a while but because we're both so busy and it's such a big project it takes a lot of time and a lot of love, but i'm still so excited for the day it's finished and can be published.

@xstarkillerx is so much more than a person i met on the internet. truly one of my best friends, and i can’t imagine not having him in my life. there’s so much i can say that i have actually already said on this blog before. donnie has a way with seeing the world i just love to hear about. i’ll ask his opinions and experiences on everything simply to hear what he, specifically, has to say about it. when we have conversations inhibitions are left at the door for the both of us instead of just me. i feel skinless, muscle-less, body-less with donnie. an entity obsessed with him on discord as we write novels to each other, sonnets about how we view the world and its fictions. donnie is my bread and butter, and i’m so glad i found him and stalked him and forced him to be my friend and now he’s reliant on me just like i want.

@weixuldo such a sweet person and very understanding of me and my boundaries. i first found wei’s blog through their fanart of darth vader which i loved so much i sent every single one of their posts to my best friend who i mentioned at the beginning of this post. i still go back to look at those works every so often to brush up on my love for them. such a talented artist i’m very happy i’m worthy of a follow back, and that we enjoy each other’s content.

@mcondance i met through hobie brown back in june 2022. i loved how they kept luring me to their page by mentioning me and my hobie works they kept reading, i swear they were using my vanity as bait and it worked. they are, genuinely, so fucking funny. i only have friends that are funny don’t get me wrong, but there’s something about jupie that when i’m talking about them to other people, that person is like “omg jupie is so funny.” like. jupie just transcends my sense of humor to other people’s. they’re funny to the masses. i’m very bad at texting, but jupie is a person i try to reach out to so they know i’m virtually loving on them. they like the attention. another writer i’m so pleased to be mutuals with when they’re so skilled at the part of writing i always feel like i’m most wooden at. the side of smut writing that takes feeling and sensation and even an edge of genuine horniness, jupie is so good at translating that onto a page.

@murdrdocs is another mutual i gained from the height of the hobie brown era and i believe i saw her content through jupie’s page. now we don’t get to talk too much but that doesn’t mean i don’t think she’s not a super cool person. i don’t read much, but the things i do get to read specifically on icarus’ page make me very proud to be her mutual. not only is she an accomplished and gorgeous writer, but her blog designs are always envy-inducing. she shifts her aesthetics so seamlessly—even tho i know how changing a theme can be draining and time-consuming—and it’s always easy on the eyes. her navigation is especially creative and i’ll never forget her newspaper clipping themed announcement for last kinktober.

@princessbrunette another writer i’m constantly in awe of. i met her through her anakin works, and invited myself onto her kinktober taglist when she was still a relatively new blog that’s how much i was instantly attracted to her work. her style is so distinct and so refined, i can overlook non canon work because hers is just that good. she’s also very funny, and has a gifted silver tongue. i’m always impressed with how she’s able to paint a picture in her pieces using nothing but the most concise and visualizing words. it’s not often that i watch something because a friend watched it, but i watched obx for her so i could still enjoy her work that’s how much i love it. our universes we create in our dms are so special to me.

@empiresheir was someone i met through their anakin one-shot about order 66 which i’ve reblogged several times and it’ll never be enough. it was such a good piece i gave live updates to my best friend who was reading it too. i sent those screenshots to her orc cos she deserved to know what i had to say. she was also an essential help when i was writing my kinktober project, kind enough to read my pieces and give me line by line feedback just like i like so i wouldn’t go crazy from lack of attention on pieces i couldn’t post til october. not only another talented and powerful writer (capable of dropping my jaw at how insanely good she is at wording things), but such a sweet person to talk to. and though she’s not active in the fandom anymore i think of her fondly and i hope she’s having such a good time with baldur’s gate.

@darthvvder had a collection of anakin drabbles that i found on wattpad of all places and i was amazed at what i read. thoroughly impressed by the physical reactions her works were eliciting in me. got me to care about smut tropes i hadn’t cared about before simply bcos she was so good at writing them. i posted about a line that gripped me and she commented that it was her, i followed and the rest is history.

@jarebare99 is my boyfriend :) he gets an honorary mention. i wrote him an entire book of poetry and my thoughts on him so he can read that if he’s feeling left out from everyone getting paragraphs. i met him in irl not through a fandom but idc.

@ddejavvu was someone i’d see in my notifications including my inbox every so often and she was very recognizable. i really can’t remember how us being mutuals happened? i’d like to say i somehow discovered she wrote and wrote well and once i began noticing i consistently liked her content then i followed and lo and behold she was following me too. mei is very respectful of my space and i like that she texts me without expecting an answer back bcos i like to read her updates and don’t always know what to say. i have some of her inbox messages i gatekeep and i go back and read them every so often and think about how diabolical it would be if i answered them and floored the world, but i have yet to be ready to share the genius.

@anakincentric technically through anakin. even though we don’t talk much bcos both of us have really similar no-contact ways that doesn’t mean i don’t think she’s real sweet. i like when she pops in, drops a banger, and then peaces out. like a disney cameo appearance.

@harrisonbrainrot i wanna say han/indiana. i feel like i was already following his blog because i got to read some of his stuff when i was in a han mood and was like, “yea, this guy gets it.” and then when we reconnected in the comments of someone else’s post, i told him i was a big fan which was true, and then wham bam thank you ma’am mutuals. i have no idea if he knew who i was before or if he was following me, but he’s cool asf. not only is he hot and chill, he’s also really kind with me about not texting. a very generous soul who let me use his crunchyroll to watch jjk out of the goodness of his heart, which i am kissing him for. one of the rare writer’s on here who’s unapologetic in the shit they say, which i always admire and prioritize in who i choose to follow. love his han characterization, so when he’s reblogged a han work of mine, i believe it’s been christened by the harrison ford pope.

@anitheus tagging this blog bcos it’s what i followed first but i also follow her other account @silxani because i love her art style. i love how she draws anakin every time. her spider-sam fanart, and her nsfw anakin works are my favorite, as well as the fanart she made of us for my birthday. gorgeous art style i could look at all day, and i like her personality when we text.

@ivysangel i wanna say it was dc comics but i can’t remember the character, might’ve been jason todd. she came for the dc, and stayed for the other stuff including my general tomfoolery. she flatters me with kind words about how i’ve influenced her, which always makes me soft. we have a lot in common, which is always so much fun to compare, and i love that she watched batman beyond when i recommended it even though i wasn’t expecting her to a) do it and b) love it. she’s aware and respectful of my boundaries when it comes to sharing my ideas which i appreciate, and i love seeing her in my inbox. we haven’t had enough time together for me to nail down everything i like about her, but i will.

@loveliestlovelygirl eloise caught me by surprise bcos it’s not often i get instantly hooked, or at least it hasn’t been that way for a while. i haven’t been in an anakin mood for a while, but i still reblog her works instantly so i can get to it later because i know i’ll like it even though i haven’t read it. idk much about her, but her theme makes me bonkers jealous. it’s so beautiful. like her chapter HTML for her fallen angel au makes me drool.

@psuedosis newest mutual. her reaction towards me made me instantly endeared, and i loved her jet works. some zuko pieces as well! hit at the right time bcos i just finished atla animated. very excited to get to know her more.

boom. indy lore and extensive thoughts on tumblr mutuals.

[stunie]

ZEVIE’S LIL ANNOUNCEMENT!

Aaa ok I saw others make one & I wanna add mine too > < I’ll try n keep this short! School and work picking up -> a little busier!! So that being said:

1) REBLOGS :

Please tag me! If you post something, I would like to read it— so 100% tag me! I don’t scroll through the dash that often, so I miss a lot. If you’re a new moot, even if we haven’t spoken, etc— tag me anyways! I don’t care what fandom it’s for ^ ^

If you see things you want me to reblog at all— moot or not, tag me. I’ll reblog it as long as it’s not super dark (I worry I might mistag & trigger some. This is still a DC friendly page, so don’t worry!). I also can’t reblog if the writer is <18, has no age in their bio, or has a DNI page that I cannot follow.

^ TLDR: TAG TAG TAG. As much as you want. If you’re shy, you can send me an ask or message (or discord!!) that you posted. If I know it exists, I’ll reblog it. If I’m too busy to read it, I’ll still reblog it so others can at least see it.

2) OTHER THINGS:

Writing: slowing down for Kinktober 2024! I hope you all enjoy reading that when it comes :> I’ll make a section for Kinktober in my recs masterlist too! It’ll have masterlists, resources, everything.

[raaorqtpbpdy]

In reference to that one post b/c reblogs got turned off, I’ll be real with you guys, I actually do less research for my DP/DC fics compared to my non-crossover fics for either fandom. Not no research because I can’t help myself, but I realized a long time ago that 99% of this crossover fandom simply will not recognize or appreciate the work.

I’ve been in the DP fandom for a few years now, and I’ve been into DC stuff for even longer. So I know a lot of the characters fairly well (admittedly not all of them b/c there are a shit ton of dc characters), but when I write a DC fic I’ll read whole new comic runs to make sure the characterization is right, when I write a DC/DP crossover I just use whatever version of the character is funniest or fits the vibes best, even if it’s not fully accurate.

A DC fan will complain about mischaracterization while another lauds you on how well you characterized their fave (same character).

A DP fan will complain about made-up non-canon lore not being used.

A DP/DC fan will leave comments like “I love this fic, but I wish X character would have done this completely OOC thing because it would be funny lol”

I’ll defend myself to DP and DC fans but with crossover fans it’s usually not worth it. And they’re usually right. It would be funny.

[scarletackrmn]

Hi all!

So as some have told me, I love to talk and rant about DC stuff, and that I should make a youtube and do videos discussing different topics, like stuff in comics, fanon, stuff in the fandom, ships, and things that fans would love to have, things that we want fixed, etc.

Well, I’ve recently acquired more time so I’m gonna do it! I’ll be making videos and once I have enough traction, would love to do lives on there as well to discuss with people!

I’ve already heard some great topics from some friends, but I would love to hear more from others in the fandom! Please, reblog this post with your topic ideas and share with me your opinions, some opinions you’ve heard on the subject. Or PM as well! I would also love screenshots or links to posts and such, as I would love references and just a big range of viewpoints on things. You can also PM me for my Discord to send stuff, or for the google doc link to where I’ll have ideas listed so you can add your input, any references, or even list new topics.

I look forward to seeing what ya’ll bring forth, and PLEASE PLEASE reblog this, share it, whatever so many people can see this so they can also share their 2 cents on things.

[clairehadenough]

So the “PRer” claim the blurred photo was fake because the guy lives in NY and it doesn’t fit their story that Chris was in LA beginning of the week. The airport pic is fine - Chris was in NY in transit as he flew from LA.

Yes the ASP interview was done in advance but it might not of been Chris who wasn’t able to be in DC it could of been Joe or Mark (again let’s point out it was not Chris’s LA where he was during the zoom). Now they say it was done because he couldn’t go to DC because of his flights. Now I like circle have worked in travel. The ASP awards was known a couple of months earlier. Chris would have known his filming schedule and start date. If he could attend in person they would work to fit in with him. Easy to fly to DC then travel to NY to catch Athens flight the next day.

Also as they always demand proof where’s their proof he was in LA ? Oh sorry because of his privacy and security they are not going to say but will just tell everyone where he is. I know where he was for the ASP video in his place in Carlisle.

And they claim the airport poster who is public/ private let people know it was FB and he made it public because he was told to so does that mean they were given all his details. They said it’s not easy to find these things.

I’ll tell you the truth I haven’t wasted my time going into their blogs to check what new conspiracy theories they came up with regarding those sightings. Some of the blogs I follow were talking about it and it was more than enough for me to realise how deep the delusion has become.

It’s automatic. If Alba is photographed with him/ said to be with him—> it’s fake and photoshop

If she isn’t in the photo or mentioned —> it’s automatically real

These people are the most disturbed human beings I’ve ever seen.

But looking at their notes for the past few months, not only are they way lesser than before, they are now the results of the same 8 blogs (and their secondary blogs) simultaneously liking, reblogging and commenting on each other’s posts.

No body believes them anymore which is great and which is why lots of us are not commenting on everything they post anymore because our blogs have already succeeded in what they were intended for: making people aware of the crazies and why their content is just as unhinged as them.

Now I don’t suppose all of them will completely go away, sadly because other fandoms people keep telling us that some of their own delulus have been there for almost a decade and they got even worse with time.

But seeing how they went from having lots of followers and interactions to now having to send each others anons (especially that one blog) and reblogging each other constantly, makes me very happy that the very vast majority of people are over their lies and delusions by now☺️

[hoffstrap-yuri]

To Have and To Hold

ao3 // masterlist

*Summary: Like a game of cat and mouse, Hoffman and Strahm continue their little ruse from DC. Just in New York this time.

*Rating: +18 for Explicit Mature Content

*Tags: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe- Canon Divergence, Crossdressing, Crossdressing Kink, Slight Feeding Kink, Fluff, Smut, Fluff and Smut, Domestic, Domestic Fluff

*Status: Sequel/Complete (First Chapter of First Fic Here) (Second Chapter of First Fic Here)

Author's Note: So Hi. Here's the sequel people have been asking for to "In Sickness and In Health (Insurance)". Sadly there's no fraud in this one, but I wanted to focus more on them growing as a couple than them just being bickering accomplices so that's why there's more focus on one date. This is also for the anon on tumblr who clocked me for having a feeding fetish in seconds after I reblogged a "make an assumption about me" ask game. Also yay Perez cameo in this fic, because I love her dynamic with Strahm so much.

Hope you'll all enjoy this one as much as the last, and thank you for reading as always!

Click. Click.

“Stop.” Strahm looked over at Hoffman from across their desks

“Give me the answer to 5 across, and then I’ll stop.” Hoffman replied, continuing to click his pen. He didn’t lift his eyes off the paper in front of him.

“I’ve got something better.” Strahm slid a paper across their desks and Hoffman took a glance at it. He couldn’t make out the details so he used the end of the pen to slide the document closer to him. He looked over the paper and brought it up to his face.

“I don’t get it. Is this the answer to 18 down?”

“No dumbass.” Strahm’s face dropped and covered his eyes with the palm of his hand. “I got us a reservation to a place.”

“What kind of place?”

“An Italian place.”

“Sounds nice.” Hoffman crumpled up the paper and threw it back into Strahm’s lap. Strahm unfurled the paper and smoothed it out over the desk

“You told me you wanted me to buy you dinner back at the hotel a couple months back. I’m buying you dinner.” Strahm grumbled a little bit

“And you’ve only shoved your tongue down my throat about five times since then. So much restraint on your part, Agent.” Hoffman rolled his eyes, “What’s in it for me?”

“Other than free food?”

“Yes.”

“You get a free ride into the city and don’t have to deal with Manhattan parking?”

“More.”

“What more could you want, you idiot?”

“Give me something like that bathroom in Virginia and our hotel room after our meal.”

“You want me to get us a hotel and make a weekend out of going an hour away?”

“Only if you want to. I was referring to the more heinous things we did in those places.” Hoffman stood up and leaned over Strahm’s desk. Strahm forcibly expelled a breath through his nose and Hoffman sat back down with the satisfaction that Strahm had gotten the memo. He crossed his legs and picked his puzzle up in time so that when Perez strolled in, it looked like the two law enforcement agents hadn’t moved a muscle.

“Honestly, when do you two ever eat?” She asked, looking over at the partner she’s had for five years

“When I feel like it.” Strahm responded. He leaned in his chair and flipped through the manila file folders before him as Hoffman answered Lindsay with a shrug. Hoffman got occupied making calls to potential witnesses for interviews the rest of the afternoon, while Strahm was tasked with making a drive out to a crime scene.

---

Strahm walked through the door of the other man’s home. It’d become second nature to him to go back to the detective’s house at the end of the work day. Perez even joked that she never saw Strahm at their hotel’s complimentary breakfast and he brushed off her concern with a ‘we must just go down at different times’. He sat down on the couch that was like a second home to him and turned on the TV without so much as a second thought. Hoffman leaned against the door frame and watched his partner from a distance before Strahm felt his gaze squarely on him. He looked back over at Hoffman before saying,

“Come here.”

Hoffman walked over to the couch and sat next to the FBI agent, taking the other man’s arm and putting it around his shoulders. He asked Strahm, “What are we watching tonight?”

“General?”

“I’d rather die.”

“Fine. We could watch survivor…”

“What about that Law & Order show?”

“You don’t think we get enough of that at work?” Strahm scoffed

“I don’t get to see Mariska Hargitay at work every day.” Hoffman shot back

“Oh bullshit, I know you’re not looking at her.” Strahm looked down at Hoffman and at his lips. He was frustrated having this back and forth exchange with the detective with no end in sight but he needed the other man. He craved the feeling of Hoffman’s stupidly thick lips on top of his.

“You look ravenous, Agent.” Hoffman caught Strahm’s gaze and leaned further into his space.

“Just thinking of how stupid you’d look with a mustache. It’d only highlight how damn big your lips are.”

“Right, that’s definitely what you were thinking.” Hoffman leaned back. Strahm made a noise in the back of his throat from the lose of contact but made a face instead of admitting that he wanted the detective in his arms. “I’m going to bed. If you care to join me.”

“I’ll be there in a minute. Something caught my eye on the pay-per-view channels.”

“Just give me the money later if you decide to watch something.” Hoffman got up from the couch and walked off to bed without so much as another word. Strahm looked over his shoulder and watched Hoffman walk away. He flipped through the channels mindlessly for a couple more minutes before crawling into bed next to Hoffman. Hoffman felt the shift in the weight on his bed and wrapped his arms around Strahm before the agent could protest. Strahm rolled over just enough that he wouldn’t break the grip Hoffman had on him and shut his eyes. When Strahm woke up the next morning, Hoffman was already in the shower. Strahm rolled over to look at Hoffman’s bedside clock. 6:30. Lindsay was probably down at the hotel’s breakfast right now, or was on her way to get some coffee from Dunkin. While he thought about his partner, his other partner stood at the bedside before uttering,

“The bathroom’s all yours.”

“Thanks.” Strahm replied back before lugging himself up off the mattress and into the bathroom. He put the previous day’s clothes on the side of the sink and hopped into the shower. He stole a bit of Hoffman’s aftershave and rubbed it across his neck. Before stepping out of the bathroom he slung his clothes on and realized he was missing a tie. He walked back to Hoffman’s bedroom and sat next to the other man.

“Something I can help you with?” Hoffman looked him up and down

“What did you do with my tie from last night?”

“You got some food on it and I threw it to get washed.”

“You mind if I borrow one of yours?”

“Sure. Won’t Lindsay notice?”

“Not if we bury the lead.”

“I don’t know how much further we can bury before we seal our coffins, Agent.” Hoffman got up from the bed and walked over to his cabinet. He pulled the first tie he found out and threw it at Strahm, who clumsily caught it. He wrapped it around the back of his neck before Hoffman swat his hands away and tied it for himself. He pulled the knot tight as Strahm stared at Hoffman’s hands working with a speed he’d never expected from the detective. “Now hurry. Or else she might get to the office before you do.” Strahm thanked him quietly and scuttled off to his car. He turned the key in the ignition and sped off out of the alleyway. When Strahm got to work the minutes dragged into hours. Hoffman talked to him like they hadn’t been one brush of contact away from making out that morning and it was killing Strahm. He started clicking the bottom of his pen before Lindsay gave him a look. She knew under normal circumstances the clicking would’ve driven Strahm insane and Strahm seemed to notice her gaze. He stopped what he was doing and shot a look at Hoffman who seemed to relish in the fact his habit seemingly grew onto Strahm.

“Doing anything fun this weekend?” Lindsay asked Strahm, pulling her attention back to the computer in front of her

“When have I ever done anything fun with my time off, Linds?” Strahm scoffed

“Don’t know. Weather’s supposed to be good.”

“I’ll be sure to stop at the Central Park Zoo for you.”

“Thanks.” She took his sarcasm and slung it back at him

“You must have something going on then.”

“Just going to see my mom.”

“Tell her I said ‘hi’.” He nodded

“I’ll make sure to save you an empanada.”

“Is that your way of asking to leave early?” Strahm looked up at her

“Maybe. Could throw in a slice of tres leche.” She shrugged

“Just go.”

“No tres leche?”

“No, definitely bring me a piece.” Strahm scoffed

“See you next week Pete. Hoffman.”

“Bye.” Hoffman replied as Perez threw her stuff in her bag and left

“We could probably get out of here early too.”

“Could we now?” Hoffman looked over at Strahm, “And what would we do with all our extra free time?”

Strahm looked over his shoulder to make sure no one else was around before uttering in a low voice, “I could buy you a new outfit for our date.”

“Now we’re talking, Agent.” Hoffman grabbed his suit jacket and got up from his desk. Strahm followed with his case files in hand. Hoffman got in Strahm’s car and Strahm questioned him about it.

“The hell are you doing in my car?”

“It’s more efficient to carpool these days, Agent.”

“But what if Perez comes back and sees my car gone but you’re still here.”

“She’s not coming back.” Hoffman replied, “Now drive us to the mall and we can pick my car up later.”

“Fine.” Strahm backed out of the lot and drove them to the mall. While it wasn’t nearly as exciting as their first time shopping for a dress for Hoffman, he still had his fun teasing the agent with quick utterances about how his legs looked in a long dress he brought into the dressing room, or how tight a midi dress looked around his waist without ever going out to give Strahm a sneak peek.

“These two.”

“One.” Strahm said

“Two.” Hoffman bit back, “I know you can afford it and after all, this was all your idea.”

“Fine.” Without another fighting word, Strahm brought the dresses up to the counter while Hoffman looked at the various accessories by the registers. To the average onlooker, it probably looked like Strahm was buying the dresses for his wife while Hoffman was trying to pick out earrings for his bride. Strahm slung the bag over his shoulder and nudged Hoffman out towards the mall before Hoffman guided Strahm to another store.

“Seems like I’m getting low on my aftershave.” Hoffman remarked

“Wouldn’t know anything about it.”

“Right.” Hoffman rolled his eyes and picked up a bottle from the store. He stepped out a couple seconds later before his lips nearly grazed the side of Strahm’s ear. He whispered into it, “You know that bra you got me won’t work under my dresses.”

“So let’s get you something that’ll work.” Strahm replied as quiet as he possibly could. Hoffman walked off with a smirk as he dragged Strahm to another store. Hoffman threw a stack into Strahm’s arms and brought the other man up to the register to pay for it all. The cashier tried to strike up conversation with Strahm, saying how lucky his wife must be to have him out buying something for her. “Yeah. She is.” Strahm replied, not taking his eyes off the ever climbing total. He shakily handed his credit card over before getting the bag in return. Hoffman hummed in a twisted satisfaction as he practically pulled Strahm out of the store in his borrowed tie. “Think you’ve blown enough of my money for today here?”

“And if I haven’t?” Hoffman countered

“Then I would say you’re crazy.”

“To bad you don’t have the balls to say no to me.” Hoffman smirked. He saw a hallway in front of them and pulled Strahm around the corner before pushing his weight onto the special agent, pinning him to the wall. “Watching you squirm like this, Agent Strahm… does something to me.”

“Sadist.” Strahm scoffed

“If I’m so much of a sadist, what do you call it when your partner will use any phrase but the simple three worded one to get his feelings for you out? I think that’s pretty sadistic.” Hoffman growled at the other man. Strahm felt his face getting hot. So Hoffman had noticed his dances around saying the words ‘I love you’. He thought he was being slick about it, but if Hoffman noticed he must’ve made some unsubtle move in the past… Before he could give Hoffman an answer or a reasoning behind why he’d been avoiding those words, Hoffman pulled himself off Strahm. “Think about it, Agent.”

“Fine.”

“Good. Let’s go get my car.” Hoffman hummed and they walked back to Strahm’s vehicle. While Strahm was pulling away from the mall, Hoffman leaned in and kissed Strahm’s cheek. Strahm’s face turned a beet red yet again before realizing no one would notice their intimacy at 40 miles per hour. Strahm pulled into the lot of a fast food place quickly and kissed Hoffman square on the lips before driving back to the police station. “See you at home.”

“See you.” Strahm replied quickly and sped off. Strahm beat Hoffman to his house and waited at the patio door for Hoffman to come with the key. Hoffman strolled to the door and reached behind Strahm to unlock the door. He kissed Strahm’s cheek before walking into his home. Strahm followed suit and trailed behind Hoffman all the way to the kitchen. He wrapped his arms around the detective as the man reached for something in the cabinet overhead. Strahm then buried his face in Hoffman’s neck.

“Here I thought you only liked me with a bra on.” Hoffman reached behind himself to run a hand through Strahm’s hair. “Such affection from you, Agent… will tonight be the night you slip up and say it?”

“No.” Strahm makes a noise of disapproval in the back of his throat

“Saving it then for tomorrow?”

“You’re just egging me on.” Strahm replied, though it was mostly to himself

“And you seemingly fall for it, hook line and sinker.” Hoffman was quick to counter him. “Get out of my way, I’m trying to cook.”

“Fine.” Strahm peeled himself off Hoffman and sat in the living room, faced with the dilemma yet again of what was there to watch this evening. Hoffman brought a plate over to Strahm and sat down next to him before Strahm stopped on a movie. Something unremarkable and inoffensive for two grown men to watch. Hoffman got up at one point to throw their plates in the sink and grab a blanket from the other side of the room. Strahm looked up at Hoffman before resting his head on the other man’s shoulders

“You looked tired.” Hoffman explained

“Yeah. I am.”

“Then we can sleep out here.”

“Okay.” Strahm let his eyes close shut and woke the next morning to the sun pouring into the living room. Once again he was alone on the couch and cocooned himself further with the blanket now that he didn’t have to share. He heard the floors creak, more than likely from Hoffman getting out of the bathroom, but decided to wait until the detective came out to the living room. He flipped the TV on and watched a news channel for a second, waiting on the weather report. “Looks good…”

“I haven’t even shown you yet.” Hoffman peered around the corner with a slight smirk on his face

“No not you, I mean the weather. For tonight.”

“Good.” The detective stepped out and fluffed up the ends of his hair with his fingers. Strahm looked him up and down for a good while. “See something you like, agent?”

“I…” Strahm stammered, looking for coherent words rather than guttural throat noises. Hoffman’s smirk grew. He slipped his fingers underneath the bands of the garter belt he was wearing before using a free hand to pull Strahm’s gaze up to his eyes.

“Say something, hubby.”

“I… You look really good.”

“How good?”

“Like I could take you right now good.” Strahm replied weakly. Hoffman let go of his chin and sauntered away back to the bedroom, though he still seemed pretty smug as he did. He came back maybe ten minutes later with his face completely dolled up and his dress on. He posed at the entrance to the hallway, putting one hand on his hip and waiting for Strahm to say something before approaching him. Instead Strahm got up from his seat and met the detective, wrapping a hand around Hoffman’s back. He leaned in and pressed his lips onto Hoffman’s before pulling away.

“You smudged my lipstick, ass.” Hoffman used the tip of his thumb to clean up the edges of his lips. “I take it you’re ready to go then?”

“Yeah.” Strahm replied while getting his coat on. After Hoffman locked the door, Strahm held the car door open for his wife and Hoffman slid into the seat. Once Strahm gets in, he reaches over Hoffman’s lap and fumbles with the glove compartment to find the directions he printed out back at the police station. He puts his hand on the gear shift and Hoffman covers Strahm’s hand up with his own. Strahm looked behind them quick and pulled the car out of the alley before taking off towards Manhattan. Hoffman rolls the window down and Strahm takes a quick glance at the detective. His hair was getting blown back by the spring air while Hoffman looked absentmindedly out the window, but his grasp on Strahm’s hand was still tight. His legs were also crossed and Strahm could hardly take his eyes off Hoffman but returned his focus to the road as he realized it had been a second since he checked. It took every ounce of self control Strahm had not to cuss while driving into the city, and even more when looking for parking somewhere near their restaurant. When they were parked he let out one big, “Fuck.”

“Good boy.” Hoffman let go of Strahm’s hand and gave him a supportive little scratch under his chin, “Getting your anger under control.”

“Shut up.” Strahm turned away from his touch and Hoffman grinned. They got out of the car and Strahm held his arm out for Hoffman to hold onto.

“Thanks honey.” Hoffman kissed his cheek and latched tightly onto the arm. They walked along the sidewalk and dipped into the restaurant

“How many?” The host asked

“Reservation for Strahm… Peter.” Strahm replied

“Okay, give me one second and make sure your table is ready.”

“Thanks.” Strahm nodded before he pressed his nose into the top of Hoffman’s wig.

“Nuzzle me any harder, agent, and my wig will go flying off.” Hoffman said under his breath between clenched teeth

“Sorry.” He pulled himself off Hoffman as the host returned and grabbed two menus for the couple. Hoffman sat down and dramatically flipped the menu open as he crossed his legs under the table. “Get whatever you want.”

“Is that why you were being so stingy at the mall?” Hoffman asked him, not taking his eyes off the paper before them. Strahm just quietly scoffed while a food runner came by and dropped off a bread basket for the table. Hoffman looked up and stole two pieces immediately and buttered them. Strahm looked up and watched the speed with which the other man devoured the appetizer before him. Strahm wasn’t one to notice this normally. Hell when Hoffman was sitting next to him on their couch at home, he just kept to himself. Maybe it was the way he so publicly ate like a pig but Strahm pushed the basket closer to Hoffman.

“Aren’t you going to have some, Agent?” Hoffman asked, mildly suspicious of the other man’s intentions

“Yeah.” He took one slice and buttered it up, before putting it down on the side plate as the waiter approached the table. They put their order in and Strahm took a small bite from the bread. Hoffman stole another couple of pieces from the basket. The waiter came back with their glasses of wine and assured them it wouldn’t be much longer on the food.

“You keep looking at me like you have something to say honey. Just tell me what you want, perv.”

“Here we are.” The waiter stops by with two giant plates of pasta and puts it down on the table. Hoffman gives Strahm a look before taking a sip from his wine glass and takes a stab at a couple of noodles on the plate. Strahm starts picking at his meal, clearing off a decent amount in the time it takes Hoffman to finish his pasta.

“What’s wrong with it?”

“Nothing, I’m just getting full.”

“Bullshit, agent.” Hoffman scoffed

“That’s all it is, I swear.”

“And that’s why you’re pushing the plate towards me, like I’m going to eat it?”

“Might take it home for leftovers.” Strahm shrugged

“Pasta never holds up.” Hoffman pulled the plate closer to him and took a tentative bite from the plate before pulling it all the way over. Strahm swapped their plates and slipped off Hoffman’s plate towards the side. The waiter came back to check in and cleared the plate without much thought. Strahm grabbed a slice of bread as Hoffman twirled the noodles around his fork and brought it up to his lips. The FBI agent looked away quickly as some of the sauce sat on Hoffman’s lips. He reached across the table and used his napkin to clean his partner’s lips. “I can take care of myself, honey.”

“I know… just didn’t want you ruining the dress I bought for you.”

“Sure. That’s your motive here.” Hoffman eyed him up before deciding to tease Strahm a little. He took the front of his foot and wiggled it in between Strahm’s under the table. He saw Strahm shift his posture as his legs moved to the side and let Hoffman’s foot wander closer. With a guess, Hoffman lifted his foot up and used his tiptoes to put some pressure on Strahm’s crotch. The other man made a choking noise and hid his mouth in his hand, but Hoffman pressed a little bit more against the growing bulge in the agent’s pants. “Oh honey. What’s got you so bothered, huh? Is it my appetite; you know shoveling food into my face?”

“I…” Strahm started to say. He wanted to deny it this time again, but realized there was no hiding from Hoffman. “Yeah.”

“There, was it that hard to talk to me, your bride?” Hoffman scoffed, flipping his hair back against his shoulders as he sat so his feet would be crossed under the table. Strahm whined softly at the loss of pressure from Hoffman’s foot. “Now be a good boy and tell me what you want.”

“Just eat a bit more than you normally would.” He replied, “I mean… you’re eating for two.”

“Ah yes, how could I forget.” Hoffman smirked and called the waiter over and ordered a second plate of pasta for himself, “It wouldn’t do me any good to deliver a baby while I’m wasting away.” Strahm could only nod as the waiter dropped the plate down in front of Hoffman. He offered to get Strahm another bread bowl, which Strahm was more than happy to accept.

“This is really good. Have a bite, hon.” Hoffman held the fork out across the table and Strahm took it from the detective. He nodded and handed the utensil back to Hoffman before Hoffman continued eating. Hoffman let a sigh escape from his lips and rested his free hand on his stomach. “I don’t know how I’m going to finish this.”

“It’s only half a plate.” Strahm mumbled under his breath, “I’m sure you can find room in there.”

“I know I could, but…”

“But what?”

“I just don’t know how I could find room.”

“Come here.” Strahm huffed. Hoffman carefully slid from his seat and used a hand to brace his back as he got up. He firmly sat down on Strahm’s lap and looked into his partner’s eyes. Strahm’s hands rested on Hoffman’s hips for a second before turning him around on his knee, making Hoffman face the table. A hand spread across the center of Hoffman’s swollen stomach and Strahm used his fingertips to massage away the tension.

“Oh that’s it, hon.” Hoffman whispered, backing his ass further into Strahm’s lap. Strahm let out a weak noise as his erection rubbed against the fabric of his dress pants. His hands sunk further into Hoffman’s belly as he tried to keep his composure. Hoffman leaned back into Strahm’s chest and let himself get felt up by the FBI agent. He pulled his hair back all one way to make sure it was on Strahm’s shoulder as the other man worked at the tense ball of flesh. “Bet you could feel the baby kick if I really had one in there.”

Strahm made a small grunt of approval that came out as a ‘Mhm’.

“Hell if I eat anymore,” Hoffman started, “I might look like I’m carrying twins. You’d like that wouldn’t you, you sick fuck?”

“If I said I did?” Strahm replied quietly

“I might have to push you over the edge.” Hoffman peeled himself off of Strahm’s lap and went back to his seat across from his partner. He ate the rest of his pasta without much fanfare and pushed the plate away from himself before grabbing the dessert menu that sat on the center of the table. Strahm moved his seat closer to the table and hid his face behind the palms of his hands as Hoffman flipped through his options. “What do you think the babies would like, honey?”

“Why are you asking me, you’re the one with the cravings. Right babe?” Strahm teased Hoffman

“You’re right, honey.” Hoffman giggled like a school girl. As soon as he did that he scoffed under the ends of his wig. Who the fuck was that in his body just now that made him act like a ditz? When the waiter came back to ask about dessert Hoffman ordered tiramisu and two cannoli. He thanked the waiter as he returned and carefully slipped the bill over to Strahm. With a small ‘No Rush’, the man walked away as quickly as he could. Strahm looked it over for a second and looked up at Hoffman. He was being obnoxious about it, but Hoffman sucked the cream out from the cannoli shell and used the edge of his tongue to clean the powder sugar off the center of his lips. He gave Strahm a knowing wink as Strahm buried his face back into the bill holder. Hoffman snaked his hand behind the envelope and tugged on Strahm’s tie, forcing him to look back at Hoffman’s gaze.

“Give your poor wife some of your attention, mi amor. Surely the bill can wait?” His lips curled at their ends and Strahm slid the bill aside, firmly placing his elbows on the table as he watched Hoffman. He hid his mouth behind his hands and kept his eyes moving, trying to avoid eye contact. Hoffman snaps his fingers in Strahm’s face and brings up a little spoonful of the tiramisu up to his lips. Strahm takes the bit willingly, only to hear a soft coo from Hoffman. “That’s it. You’re being so good.”

“Didn’t know you spoke Spanish.” Strahm muttered to himself, only for Hoffman to return Strahm’s self-deflecting barb with a smile. Hoffman finished his desserts and used a hand to brace his back a little as he leaned into his seat. Strahm slipped a couple twenties into the envelope and pulled Hoffman up onto his feet. He wrapped an arm around Hoffman’s waist and guided him out of the restaurant. His hand rested on the slight bulge in Hoffman’s dress, making the man look like he was a couple months along with a baby. Hoffman wove his fingers in between the spaces of Strahm’s and the couple strolled out of the restaurant, Strahm practically pushing Hoffman back to his car.

“Maybe I wanted to look around.” Hoffman dropped his voice back down to his normal tone and gave Strahm a look, “Or are you too impatient?” He knew it was risky, but Strahm pulled Hoffman into an alleyway and after making sure there weren’t cooks out on their smoke breaks, he pressed his lips onto Hoffman’s.

“I love you…” He moaned Hoffman’s mouth. Hoffman pushed Strahm off of him for a second before looking at him. Strahm opened his eyes and thought for a second about what he had said. He had dropped the big ‘l’ word while making out with a man behind a restaurant in New York.

And hell, he meant it too.

“I love you.” He repeated, this time a bit more quiet. Still loud enough for Hoffman to hear, but it was only for the other man’s ears. Hoffman pulled him back on top of him by the collar of his shirt and bit down on his lip as their kisses became less rational and more about the contact between them. Strahm ripped Hoffman’s coat off his shoulders and threw it to the ground, after which Hoffman wriggled out of Strahm’s hold to pick the garment up. Strahm rolled his eyes, but then remembered the credit card statement from that purchase and helped Hoffman clean the jacket up so the muck from the street wouldn’t ruin the jacket. After that was back in working order, Hoffman started to sprint towards the garage where Strahm’s car waited for the two of them. When they got into the corner where his Crown Victoria was, Strahm threw the jacket on top of the roof of his car and pinned Hoffman to vehicle. Strahm pressed his lips onto Hoffman’s neck and with a soft mewl Hoffman said in his falsetto,

“Say it again, Agent.”

“I love you.” Strahm replied. His voice was deep and guttural as he lapped his tongue at the skin of Hoffman’s neck like it was a spring in the middle of a desert. “I love you.”

“That’s a good boy.” He worked a hand through the back of Strahm’s hair before dropping again, “I have you wrapped around my finger, don’t I?” Strahm looked up sheepishly at Hoffman, his eyelashes accentuating his fondness for the detective. Hoffman made a quick ‘tisk’ with his tongue and said, “I need to hear it, Agent Strahm.”

“I’m wrapped around your damn finger. I’m your little bitch. Is that what you wanted?”

“More than enough.” Hoffman pulled the other man back on top of him, using his tie like it was a leash. He hooked a leg around the back of Strahm’s leg and used Strahm’s outer thigh to give himself some friction in his lace underwear.

“I need you.” Strahm let the words slip from his lips again with desperation. Hoffman used his hands and shoved Strahm off him before getting into the car. Strahm scuttled around to the other side of the car, turned the vehicle on, and flipped through the radio stations.

“And there’s congestion on the 495 as far as the eye can see bringing your commute home to about an hour…” The radio personality said as Strahm turned it off.

“All that time in the car.” Hoffman’s fingers were already trailing up in the space between Strahm’s pecs, “How are you going to make it, Agent?”

“Thank god we’re not in Midtown.” Strahm cursed under his breath, ignoring that his bulge was growing with every playful press of Hoffman’s fingertips on his chest. Strahm scanned the signs and picked the next accessible exit for him and looked for a garage that would be quiet enough for them. Strahm put the car in park and got out of his car before thinking to tell Hoffman what his plan was. He thought for a second before telling the other man, “Get in the back seat.”

“Okay.” Hoffman got out of the passenger seat and slid into the back. Strahm took his coat and laid it on the concrete before getting down on his knees, “Aren’t we moving a little fast there honey?”

“Shut up.” Strahm worked a hand slowly up the inside of Hoffman’s dress and kissed over the bulge underneath the loose fabric. Hoffman groaned softly and lifted the end of his outfit up so that his stomach was still covered, but his legs were exposed. Strahm grabs the waistline of his tights and when they don’t come off Hoffman’s legs fast enough his nails leave streaks in the fabric.

“Remind me to buy another pair next time we’re at the mall.” Hoffman muttered to himself “Come on.”

“I’m going as fast as I can.” Strahm growled back at his partner. When the stockings were down around Hoffman’s ankles Strahm kissed the inside of Hoffman’s thighs. He wrapped a hand underneath the meaty flesh as his teeth sunk in, sure to mark up his partner’s thigh. Not that anyone else would see these. This was for his eyes only. The way that Hoffman glared down at him as he took his time to service him, the love bites he left for himself later… it was all his. Strahm let a hot breath escape from his mouth and saw Hoffman’s dick twitch a little inside the silk panties he was wearing. Rather than free him, Strahm pressed his lips onto the skimpy waistband that almost dug into Hoffman’s thick hips before letting his tongue roam down to the seam on the bottom of the lingerie.

“I don’t think you are.” Hoffman pulled him back using a firm grasp on the strands of his hair

“Fine.” Strahm took the panties and slid them down to Hoffman’s ankles just above the leggings and in a swift motion found his mouth around Hoffman’s cock

“There we go. That wasn’t so hard was it?” Hoffman teased. His hand found the back of Strahm’s head once more. He awkwardly managed to get his legs hooked around Strahm’s neck and rested his calves on Strahm’s back. Strahm slid his hand under one of Hoffman’s ass cheeks and started to slow bob his head along the length of Hoffman’s dick. He pressed his tongue against Hoffman’s tip and looked up as Mark’s eyes were shut tight. Everything in cross-dressing man’s body worked against him. His legs getting weak, his eyes wanting to roll all the way to the back of his head, his mouth threatening to let a moan escape if Strahm’s mouth got any warmer around his cock. He hit the back of Strahm’s head lightly and shifted so his back laid flat against the ugly seats in the back of Strahm’s car. He arched his back a little before Strahm’s hand laid flat against the fat of Hoffman’s stomach and pushed him back down onto the fabric. Strahm continued to thrust Hoffman's dick deeper into his throat until it triggered his gag reflex. He pulled his mouth off for a second and Hoffman lifted his head up. He was so damn close and if Strahm didn’t finish servicing him he was going make Strahm regret it. Strahm looked at him with a slight smirk before wrapping his lips back around Hoffman. A couple more bobs of his head and Hoffman came into Strahm’s mouth.

“God damn…” Strahm coughed as he attempted to swallow every last bit of Hoffman’s cum. He pulled himself off of Hoffman once more, and Hoffman lifted his hand up to Strahm’s lip. He paused for a moment before wiping the last drop off the soft skin and brought his finger up to his own lips. He waited while Strahm sheepishly slid Hoffman’s panties back up his legs and did his best to adjust the tights so they wouldn’t trip the other man on the walk to the passenger seat. When he got Strahm’s undivided attention once more, he licked his fingertip clean and sucked on it. Strahm leaned in and kissed him, resting a hand on the side of Hoffman’s neck as he stood over the detective.

“Say it.” Hoffman demanded of Strahm. Strahm hesitated for a second before saying “I love you” one more time. Hoffman sat up in his seat and ran a hand across Strahm’s chest. “When am I going to hear it from you, huh?”

“When I feel like it.” Hoffman pressed his lips onto Strahm’s cheek and with a stiff finger pushed Strahm off of him. They got back into their respective seats and before Strahm took off he flipped on the radio once more. Traffic had cleared up, and they headed back to Hoffman’s house. Hoffman unlocked the door and leaned against Strahm as they stood in the entryway. “What do you want?”

“On the couch.” Strahm replied

“Oh. Can’t even wait for the bedroom?” Hoffman teased him, kicking his heels off with wild abandonment before stepping over to the couch. He sat down and Strahm sat down beside him. “That it?”

“No. Put your feet up.”

“Okay.” Hoffman raised an eyebrow and slung his legs over onto the couch. Strahm wrapped an arm around his shoulder and tucked Mark’s head onto his shoulder. “What’s this Agent?”

“That post-coitus cuddle I was looking for in DC.” Strahm said without missing a beat. Hoffman shrugged and sat with him while Strahm turned on the TV. He was pretty happy, but Hoffman wanted more. He could tell Strahm wanted more too. So to drive up the tension a bit, Hoffman rested a hand on the inside of Strahm’s thigh. When Peter seemingly ignored that gesture he worked his hand over in small circles.

“C’mon. I’m down for something.”

“What?” Strahm’s Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed back the dryness in his throat

“Let me be in control this time.” Hoffman hooked a leg over Strahm’s lap and sat there. He pulled Strahm’s dress shirt out from his pants and worked a couple of the buttons open. Next, he took off Strahm’s belt and threw it towards the kitchen, making sure to toss it in the opposite direction of the TV. Underneath him, Strahm turned the TV off. Whatever was on wasn’t getting him in the mood. Strahm lifted his head up to kiss Hoffman’s neck, and as badly as he wanted Strahm to kiss him, Hoffman pushed him back into his couch. “I said, let me be in control, Agent.”

“Fine.” Strahm muttered under his breath and let his hands rest squarely on Hoffman’s hips. Hoffman bucked his hips slowly up into the slight muffin top sitting on Strahm’s stomach. Strahm made a soft grunt as Hoffman continued to roll his hips up against him for a moment until he moved back a ways. He tugged Strahm’s fly zipper down and slid Strahm’s pants and underwear down far enough that he had easy access to his dick. Hoffman huffed as he realized what he wanted to do involved having to get up, but pulled himself off of Strahm for a second to slip his tights and panties off. He threw them to the side and plopped his full weight down onto Strahm’s lap once more. The man under him made a grunt noise as his body braced for the other man’s weight, and Hoffman leaned into him. He took his face and kissed it, snaking a hand under the bottom of Strahm’s open shirt.

“I thought I was the chubby chaser.” Strahm remarked dryly

“Didn’t say that I didn’t like people with a little… heft to them.” Hoffman responded in kind. His hand rested on Strahm’s stomach before working through the hairs that grew along there. “I’ve been quite restrained with you so far, Agent. So I ask you, are you willing to trust me?”

“Yeah.”

“I want to hear you say that you’re willing.”

“I’m willing to trust you.” Strahm sighed and looked up at Hoffman. Something so devious hiding in those eyes, but Strahm couldn’t put his finger on it. Hoffman groaned softly before getting up and walking quickly. He comes back with a bottle of lube and coats Strahm’s dick liberally before taking Strahm up his ass. Strahm let out a moan as Hoffman’s hole closed around his dick. “Fuck.”

“Like that, huh?”

“Yes.” Strahm continued to moan. Hoffman saw Strahm getting ready to move his hips so he moved his hands over the sides of his hips and applied a bit of pressure. He bucked up into Strahm furiously, riding his partner until he gave up. He saw Strahm’s eyes roll to the back of his head as he came quickly into Hoffman’s hole. Hoffman continued to thrust himself up and down until Strahm’s back slumped back into the couch. Hoffman pulled himself off Strahm’s dick, but stayed seated on Strahm’s lap for a second, putting Strahm's hands on his hips.

“I love you.” Hoffman ran the back of his finger along Strahm’s jaw and looked into his eyes. Strahm nudged Hoffman off of his lap and guided the other man’s stubborn body back into the position they’d been in when they first started sitting there. “You’re not going to say anything about that?”

“About what?”

“About me saying ‘I love you’.”

“It’s an honor.” Strahm replied dryly. He pulled Hoffman’s wig off and caressed his cheek with a careful hand. Strahm pulled a blanket over his lap, only for Hoffman to steal half of it for himself as they cuddled. A couple swipes across Hoffman’s shoulder through the night, a touch against Strahm’s chest… it felt comfortable. Strahm almost didn’t want the night to end, but when he felt his eyelids growing heavy he lifted the blanket up and stood. Hoffman tried to grab the blanket back but before he could Strahm tucked an arm under Hoffman’s legs and lifted him.

“Jesus.” Mark stared back at the couch before wrapping an arm around Strahm’s neck. “The hell are you going to do now?”

“Care you to bed, idiot.” Strahm said, making the move across the room and to their bedroom. He dropped Hoffman carefully onto the mattress and let out a deep sigh before lying next to his partner. Resting on his side, he leaned in and said “I love you… Dumbass.”

“I love you too, jackass.” Hoffman smirked as he kissed Strahm’s cheek before they both drifted off.

[coquitokisses]

Trusting Again | Bucky Barnes (introduction)

series masterlist • m. masterlist

spotify playlist • moodboards • files

After having spent much of her childhood being trained in a private organization in Bulgaria, Catalina Navarro is finally free when she is rescued by Nick Fury during a SHIELD mission.

Nick took the responsibility of taking care of Catalina and thus preventing her from falling into the adoption system. He saw how much potential she had and as she got older, he thought that she could use everything she knew for good so at the age of 16, he decided to get her into SHIELD and since then she has worked for the organization as an agent and spy.

In 2014, Catalina witnessed the Winter Soldier event in Washington DC. A few months after all the files, from both SHIELD and HYDRA, went public, Catalina decides to help Steve and Sam find Bucky.

But when she finds him, instead of bringing him with her, she decides to let him go. An action that will have consequences later on..

A/N: hiiii! I have a few things I wanna clarify before starting the story

— I said it before but I’ll say it again, this story is 18+, it contains strong language, explicit and/or implicit sexual scenes, topics like mental and/or psychological health and PTSD.

— The story takes place during Captain America: Civil War, but there'll be a prologue which is set in 2015 just to give a little context of the story between Cat and Bucky. Then it’ll go along with the MCU timeline, although the story will be one year ahead (for example, Infinity War happens in 2019, not 2018, but everything will happen according to the timeline)

— I'm planning on following the order of the rest of the movies probably till Avengers Endgame (if things go how I've planned) maybe till TFATWS but I’m not sure yet, however, there may be some changes to the storylines of the movies just so I can introduce Catalina's character into the story.

— My first language is not English, is Spanish. I am bilingual, even tho I don't really talk in English just because I really don't need to, but I wanted to make this story in English. In case there's any errors/mistakes well now y'all know lol my brain process things in Spanish first and then translates them to English.

— This story is available on wattpad as well, (even tho I don’t really use that account much, the user is -dolcekisses) but I’m also uploading in spanish in case anyone wants to read it, my user is coquitokisses (same as here lol) and the account is in spanish if any of y’all are spanish speakers.

— Also, I don’t know how many chapters this story will have lol (with everything I have written, notes etc, I think maybe like 55? I’m not sure, is that a lot? Lmao I’ll just go with the flow)

— When I started the story I started writing it in 1st person (my oc’s pov) but I actually write my stories in 3rd person now so there’ll probably be some times where it’s narrated in 1st person and some other times in 3rd. Sorry about that lol

— I chose Eva de Dominici to be the faceclaim of my OC, Catalina Navarro

That'll be all, besties, I hope you like this fanfic as much as I do, let me know what y'all think, feel free to comment your opinion! Feedback will be appreciated <3

I'll see you in the prologue!

Likes and reblogs will be appreciated!

[lethalchiralium]

Open His Eyes | 2 | Simon “Ghost” Riley x GN!Reader

Chapter Two: When It’s Dark Out

a/n: you will not believe how much research i do for these things lmao

summary: After your surprise was measly dropped on your stoop last night, you couldn’t sleep. Wine and sleep deprivation became your best friend - while Soap tries to help the situation.

REMINDER: This is a side-blog, not my main! If you have any questions, feel free to message this blog or reblog! Reblogs are always appreciated - as well as any comments, they keep me motivated to write stuff like this!

PREVIOUS | NEXT

You didn’t sleep.

Your phone sat on the floor in front of you, next to your glass of expensive wine. The sun bled through the curtains, but all you could watch was Ghost’s bare chest rising and falling. Your eyes hurt from not sleeping for over twenty four hours, but shock had taken hold of your body. Drinking an entire bottle of wine and half of another kept you occupied, even after you waited with bated breath for Price’s response. A response that never came.

It was nine in the morning now, you poured what was your ‘last’ cup of wine before taking the glass to your lips. You took in a large amount, wiping your mouth before you put the glass down again. You were a bit tipsy, but you couldn’t handle being sober in a room with the man you… care for being in pain. Well, you wouldn’t know if he was in pain - it’s been five and a half hours and he still hasn’t moved, other than steadily breathing. It was unnerving and made you sick to your stomach, usually the man would shift in his sleep. You were used to it, accustomed to it, expected it. You were anxious now, because none of his fingers had even twitched.

Your phone began to ring loudly, terrifying you out of your trance and your hands frantically grabbed it, answering the call with a quiet, “Yes?”

“Fuckin’ Hell, Riot! Been tryin’ ta call you all damn night - are ya home?” Soap’s voice was an instant comfort, your eyes pricked with what almost felt like tears. The heel of your palm dug into your right eye as you took in a deep breath. “Riot? Hey, hey - I came to see ya, can’t be cryin’ ‘cause I’ll be there soon!” He awkwardly chuckled on the line.

You rubbed your nose a little, sniffling and eyes not leaving Ghost’s body. “Bring me the biggest bottle of wine you can find. How long will you be?”

“Uh- About an hour. I’ll-uh, bring some food too.” He chuckled, you wiped more tears away. “You okay, Ri? I mean, I know you aren’t but- Fuck, ‘m not good at this, lass.”

“I’m fine, just… remember what I asked for.” You answered before ending the call. You knew it would be very easy for someone to hack the line, it would give away your position - and how vulnerable the Lieutenant was if you told Soap about him. But your position was already compromised since the US Government likely knew where you lived, and that Captain Ballard had dropped Ghost outside on your doorstep like a package.

You needed to get up and do something, you were still tipsy but that didn’t matter. He needed to be bathed, you had no idea where he was being kept so cleaning his wounds and bandaging with fresh materials would do him some good. You moved up onto your feet, grabbing your glass and the bottle of wine - placing it on the nightstand beside the bed. You then turned away towards your bathroom, tip-toeing the entire time.

The light in the bathroom made you stumble a bit, you looked over your shoulder to see that Ghost still hadn’t moved. Your head moved back and looked around your bathroom, moving to the cabinet to grab a washcloth and some antibacterial soap. You then exited the bathroom, quietly padding through the bedroom and down the hall to the living room, then the kitchen. You quickly yet quietly looked underneath your sink for that stainless steel bowl you used to bed clean - the last time you used it was when Price was shot three times on the other side of DC during an op. You had got in a car, drove him to your home since you knew the enemy would have infiltrated the hospitals by that time. It sucked because you had to carry him up six flights of stairs, and you had to treat a bite wound on his hand because he was in agony and biting it to keep down his screams.

You pulled it out, along with some antibacterial soap - you very quickly washed it with as little water as possible, since you were sure the running water might wake him. You washed your hands and rinsed the bowl and your hands quickly, then filled the bowl halfway with water. You were careful as you carried your supplies to your bedroom.

Ghost was still sprawled like a starfish, the sheet still covering half of his stomach. You opted to settle your supplies on the side of the bed closest to the door, plus your closet full of medical supplies. You poured some of the soap into the washcloth, dunked it in the lukewarm water and went to work.

Even with you slowly and throughly washing his arm, the behemoth of a man didn’t even stir. You couldn’t force yourself to look at his face, the white bandage over one of his eyes - you kept washing his body, careful of the stitches and bruising. You would have to take out his stitches today, it was dangerous to keep them in for long periods of time - even if you didn’t know when they were sewn into his skin.

Your mind kept running seven miles a minute, you could barely comprehend any of your thoughts as you glide the damp washcloth over his chest. You were staring at the white mortuary scar as you did, realizing that it had to be years old. The washcloth stopped, settling on his stomach. Your free hand gently moved to hover over the top of his sternum near his collarbone, where the two lines became one. Instead of tracing it, you just settled your hand on it, fingers splayed across the smooth and jagged skin. He felt cold.

You glanced back up to his face, seeing his eye open and staring at you. You screeched, launching backwards and accidentally off of your bed. Your head hit the floor pretty hard as you yelped, “Jesus Christ, Ghost! A warning! A warning!”

The deep voice rumbled with half a laugh, “Warning.”

You stayed on the floor for a moment, your head pounded with a hefty weight when you sat up, your hand went to the back of your head to check for blood. Thankfully, when you pulled your hand back, there was none. You then scrambled back onto the bed, your hands immediately went to his face and cradled it. You examined the large bandage covering on of his eyes, noting that you probably needed to get a smaller one if you went to the store later.

Shit. You can’t go to the store later, you had to get him out of here and fucking fast. But you had to wait for Soap - you barely had enough strength to help him down the hallway last night.

“Are you drunk?” His voice was hoarse, it sounded nothing like how he usually did.

You shrugged, gazing at his face as you felt tears prick at your eyes. “A little tipsy. Incredibly upset.”

“How much have you seen?” His hand grazed your leg again, just like it had countless times the night before.

You gazed at his scar covered chest, hand settling on his sternum again. “Honey, I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t need your pity.”

Your eyes flickered back to his face. “I know, it’s not pity. It’s empathy.”

“Gotta a mask?” He asked, moving to sit up but your hand pushed him back down - he groaned in pain.

“Yeah, in the living room. Stay down, big boy.” You moved forwards and pressed a kiss to his uninjured cheek, feeling the scratch of the scruff that was a sorry excuse for a beard. You moved to get off the bed, but his hand grazed your leg again, harder.

“We need to get…” He moved his arms back, beginning to prop himself up as you tried to get him to lay back down. He threw you a harsh glare. “We need to go. Now.”

“I know.” Your voice was soft, you knew trying to stop him was already a lost fight. You moved off of the bed, taking away the cleaning supplies and setting them on your nightstand. You moved back to your closet, yanking out a black long sleeve and cargo pants. You were quick to change, not caring if Ghost watched since he had already seen it all. As soon as you tucked your shirt into your pants, you moved to the other side of your closet to take out a worn shirt and pair of jeans that Ghost had left the last time he was here. You moved to him, hands holding the shirt as he soundlessly sat on the edge of the bed. You could tell it was hard for him to breathe, he was trying to look okay - ever the hardass about showing weakness.

“Arms up.” You ordered, he followed it. You pulled the shirt over his head, tucking it down as his arms fell to his sides, he bit his tongue to not make a sound. You then kneeled in front of him, having him slot one leg at a time into the jeans. You grabbed his arm, placing it on your shoulder as you said, “C’mon, stand up so I can get these up.”

His legs trembled from barely using them, but he still shakily stood, letting you tug the dark blue jeans up, button them and zip them up before he gracelessly sat back down on the bed, groaning as the impact lit up every nerve in his body like a firework. “They’re gonna be comin’ for us.” You turned away to your closet again, going to throw on your tactical vest. “Why didn’t we go last night?”

“‘Cause I could barely hold you up, let alone get you to my fuckin’ car.” You tugged it over your head, quickly strapping it to your chest and making sure your weapons and first aid kit were secured before looking back at Ghost. His hands were on his knees, brown eyes watching your every move like a hawk does its prey. You turned again, grabbing your thigh holster and easily clipping it into place, checking that the pistol was still locked in. “Plus, Soap’s makin’ a surprise visit, so that will help out immensely.”

His hand went up to his face and ripped off the bandage without even a noise, you frowned. He glared back at you. “Need both my eyes to shoot, Riot.”

“Soap has the secure phone, we’ll get you back to the UK so we can regroup.” You then held out a hand, bracing your feet a little as you then said, “C’mon, we need to get to the living room.”

It wasn’t a complicated feat, but he still put most of his weight on your shoulders when you walked him into the living room and let him collapse onto your thousand dollar couch. You scuttled to the floor where you treated him last night, grabbing his mask and tossing it to him. It landed perfectly in his lap, he let out a sigh of relief as he tugged it over his face. As soon as he fixed his mask so he could see through it, there was a soft knock on the door.

“Oi, Medi! You there?”

Soap.

You ran to the door, unlocking the deadbolts and ripped it open. The mohawked Scot didn’t even flinch, he held up a plastic bag that clearly had food in it. You moved out of the way, letting him into the apartment as he began to ramble, “Ya know how long I had to wait at this place? Five minutes, five minutes! I couldn’a -“ You shut the door.

“Johnny.”

Soap was halfway to your kitchen when he dropped the bag, you would’ve cared if you didn’t feel so damn tense. You watched as the Sergeant stalked towards his Lieutenant, booted feet light on the floor.

“LT?” His voice was small, he looked back to you then to him, and finally back to you. “You’ve had him this whole time?”

“No,” You murmured, grabbing your boots and shoving your feet in. “Called in a favor. Got him last night, and we need to get him far away from here, quick.”

“We can just take him to an American post,” Soap began, but you shook your head.

“My ‘friend’ is a well respected Captain and a fucking psycho. We need to get him back to the UK. Now. Call Laswell on the secure line.” You muttered, shoving the laces into the insides of your boots and going towards Ghost. You held your hands out. “‘mon big guy, let’s get going.”

He grunted in response, taking your hands and pulled himself to his feet. He let out a small groan, almost falling onto you if it wasn’t for Soap taking one of his arms.

“Lasy! Hi, uh- Quick question, how quick can you get a plane to the UK?” Soap began to speak, nervous as all hell. It took only a few minutes to get Ghost out the door, you locked it and pulled him into the elevator. You pressed the button for lower level, watching as the doors closed.

“Well- Uh, fuck, how do I put it?” Soap looked to you, leaning forwards so he could see in front of Ghost’s large torso.

You held out your free hand, Soap handed you the phone. You quickly put it to your ear. “Laswell, it’s Riot.”

“Riot, what is going on?”

“Riley is secured.” You answered, watching as the elevator doors opened to the dimly lit parking garage underneath your apartment building.

Laswell gasped a little, “What?”

“Long story. I need evac from DC, asap. We’ve got to get him back to UK now, he’s in danger.” You swallowed your fear as both you and Soap pushed forwards, the Lieutenant in between both of you sluggishly kept up. “We are in danger.”

“I can be at the airport in twenty.” She said, you could hear rustling on her end. “Copy?”

“Copy. Airport in twenty.” You answered, ending the call and shoving the phone into Ghost’s pant pocket. You then drew your gun from your vest, knowing Soap was already holding his own pistol as you two dragged on. “It’s the black SUV under that light.”

It was only four cars away, but you felt a prick of ice stab your spine. You let Ghost’s arm and weight just rest on your shoulders as you moved your arm from his back, fishing for your keys. You then reached in front of Ghost, handing them to Soap. “Get him in the car.”

“What-?”

You dropped from underneath Ghost’s arm, he almost fell over but Soap was quick to recover. You turned around, seeing men with guns that began to point at you.

“Soap, go!” Your voice bounced off the walls as you instantly switched off the safety, aiming and pulling the trigger.

Gunshots rang in your eardrums, making them ache as you down two of the soldiers, but some of them hadn’t fired rounds at you as you backed up. They moved forwards, fast towards you - you released what the guns they had in their grasps were.

Tranquilizers.

You glanced over your shoulder, seeing Soap shoving Ghost into the car and slamming the door. He raced forwards, ripping open the driver’s door before shouting, “Bonnie, let’s go!”

“Get him out of here, I’ll get them off of you!” You began to hear popping, you ducked behind a car as you kept eye contact with Soap. “I’ll be right behind you!”

“You can make it!” Soap cried, cocking his gun as a bullet whizzed past him and dug into your SUV. He ducked, you looked back to the enemy and firing off a few more shots - killing two of them. There was at least five more, dodging behind cars and shooting at your position.

You looked back to Soap. “He’s the asset here, fucking go!”

Soap let out a yell as you felt a hand come to slap over your mouth, your head pulled back into someone’s chest as something sharp plunged into your neck. You screamed loudly, hand reaching for a knife on your vest but your head began to spin. The dim lights above you began to haze, your heartbeat in your throat as you heard the screech of tires.

This is the end.

———

Copyright © 2023 lethalchiralium. All rights reserved.

[luthwhore]

ok but also consider how it's the second woc who's specifically latina who does that. smells like racism to me (both times)

i’m assuming this is about devin grayson?

devin grayson’s handling of race has a LOT of issues, which was even acknowledged in the reblog before mine that my tags were agreeing with. the way she handled canonizing dick as romani was…clumsy, to put it mildly, and while she says she did research, i suspect that research didn’t include actually talking to any actual romani people. catalina flores leans on a lot of racial stereotypes in ways that are often uncomfortable, and i’ll even add that her smallville tie-in novel had some notable issues with japanese stereotypes and the way it portrayed the yakuza.

HOWEVER. that is almost NEVER the criticism i see given of that story arc. it’s almost always people criticizing the fact that dick was sexually assaulted at all. i think it’s entirely fair to criticize her handling of race within her comics, but it’s worth pointing out that — by your own admission — that is not unique to devin grayson. and despite writing similar stories both before AND after devin grayson’s run, marv wolfman gets praised as THE definitive nightwing writer by most people. chuck dixon doesn’t have a great track record, either. and her smallville novel wasn’t any worse than things that made it into the show in episodes like “sacred” and “prodigal.”

additionally, the hate on devin grayson is often INTENSELY personal in a way it usually isn’t when people criticize male writers, despite the fact that she left DC 18 years ago and the most she’s written for them since is a couple of one-shots in various specials. i’ve seen many people over the years accuse her of having a rape fetish and using catalina flores as a self insert so she could enact her fantasies on dick grayson. this accusation has ZERO basis in reality and she has spoken multiple times about being a sexual assault survivor herself.

my point wasn’t to say that devin grayson is perfect, just that she’s actually a good storyteller, and that she gets a disproportionate amount of vitriol compared to male writers who wrote similar (or sometimes worse) content during the same era.

[bigskydreaming]

Last reblog - I’ll never forget one of my first interactions when getting into Batfandom again online around 2018 or 2019 or whenever I started being active in Batfandom on this blog.....I was reading a very popular prompt-response fic on Ao3, where one chapter was the author responding to a prompt to do a more cathartic take on Dick reuniting with his brothers post-Spyral.

For whatever reason, this author’s idea of a better version of this still had Dick getting punched by Jason, just then immediately make up with him afterwards, so I guess a speedrun from punch to ‘glad you’re alive’ is better, as long as the important part is Dick still gets punched? LMAO. Yeah, no. I don’t know about the person who gave the initial prompt, but I sure as hell didn’t find anything cathartic about a writer doubling down on the idea that Dick still ‘deserved’ to be greeted with violence because he’d emotionally hurt his brothers and so physical and emotional payback is necessary to balance the scales.

And I didn’t even leave a comment on the fic where it might start something publicly, I VERY politely just private messaged asking them if they’d CONSIDER posting some kind of headsup on that chapter, that it still contained Dick getting punched out on his return from Spyral by one of his siblings....because that’s not something people interested in the specific prompt of ‘cathartic take on Dick reuniting more happily with his brothers post-Spyral’ are likely expecting y’know? 

And look, for as much as Batfandom - ESPECIALLY Jason stans, which I’m pretty sure this particular writer was, primarily a Jason and Tim fan even if they did write fic for the whole Batfam - likes to go on about the tragedy and trauma of physical abuse, there is VERY little consideration in this fandom for the fact that abuse....and in specific, mentalities ABOUT abuse - can be triggering as well! Its not just stuff like sexual assault that can trigger people who are abuse AND/OR rape survivors. So I very politely and civilly, without making insinuations, accusations, attacks, etc, tried to point out that for some fans who’re abuse survivors who are disturbed by how casual and even outright permissive DC canon tends to be about physical abuse between family members, reinforcing the idea that Dick was OWED physical harm by his family to make up for his perceived crimes against them in the Forever Evil/Spyral stuff could legitimately be triggering.....

b/c it feeds into and even validates a lot of the exact same bullshit we were fed by family members justifying their own acts of harm or violence against us ‘because we deserved it.’

And I fucking AGONIZED over this message before sending it, FYI. It was before any of my overly aggressive or antagonistic tumblr posts on these topics, with a lot of my ire in those posts born FROM how all this (and other similar events) played out, but I pored over it before sending it, making sure I was being as diplomatic as possible, because I don’t know this author other than her work, I don’t know her experiences, who she is as a person, nor did I particularly CARE....I wasn’t trying to say or presume ANYTHING about that person, I was strictly interested in just getting some kind of optimal outcome from messaging them, ie getting them to reconsider their viewpoint there or at least include some kind of tag or message clarifying what the author meant by cathartic with that chapter & that it might not be as different from canon as readers might assume or hope.

Because literally my only endgoal in sending that message was so hopefully other abuse survivors didnt stumble into the exact sort of fic they - like I - might be coming to because they were seeking catharsis to MAKE UP FOR the fucked up view canon expressed about how Dick’s first encounter with his brothers post-Forever Evil should play out. 

Instead of just getting more of the same, with FURTHER validation of how he deserved that.

Of course, no matter how much I tried to ensure my message was received in the spirit it was intended....that’s not the outcome I got.

No, instead this author UNLOADED on me in her response, putting me on blast for daring to call her an abuse apologist and being a toxic stan who would make insinuations and attacks and basically call her a bad person just because I didn’t like how she treated my fave. And she definitely shared this and vented about me to all her friends, despite me making a point to message her in private rather than leave this in the comments for everyone to see, because for WEEKS afterwards I was seeing vagueblogs that were very clearly about my message, even including references to specific phrases I’d included in my message, and I heard from others that there were similar jokes and shit made about me in discord servers, etc.

All because I’d dared ask a writer to give people a headsup that they were doubling down on what some fans felt there was reason to view as validating a potentially abusive instance - ie a character accepting physical violence as penance for how he made his brothers feel.

And this, like that last reblog also said in its own examples - is EXACTLY why don’t like don’t read and curating your own content is BULLSHIT. Because it presumes that people KNOW when they’re endorsing or validating or justifying stuff that other people have ABSOLUTELY JUSTIFIED REASONS for viewing as harmful or toxic....and that they tag or warn appropriately.

And it further presumes that when informed that they might even UNINTENTIONALLY be perpetuating harm with a specific viewpoint or depiction of something.....that there is ever any kind of guarantee that they will accept this information or perspective gracefully, instead of perceiving it as an attack on their PERSON and innate goodness or whatever.

No matter HOW someone goes about trying to convey this perspective, either aggressively or with the utmost attempt at civility and diplomacy.

And nine out of ten times this escalates. Again, no matter HOW a person went about asking for a specific tag or to consider a specific viewpoint - which, y’know, when politeness only earns you escalation from people who won’t let shit go because they feel PERSONALLY ATTACKED by you saying hey maybe you’re not actually unproblematic in every view you’ve ever had....MAYBE there’s a reason why after YEARS of trying politeness or civility, people stop bothering with it and just say hey fuck you for this shitty viewpoint or depiction.....

But from my experience, nine out of ten times even a completely conciliatory approach only earns you vitriol and escalation from people who will absolutely go on the attack, grab all their friends, and freaking dogpile even on self-acknowledged survivors just asking you to consider adding some freaking TAGS....

Because some of you would rather throw survivors under the bus WHILE exploiting the hell out of knowing one who agrees with you (despite our experiences not being monolithic, sure is funny how the ones you agree with have in YOUR eyes the universally acceptable stance on stuff)....

Rather than just....

Sit with the idea that maybe you at some point in your life have unintentionally perpetuated a toxic or harmful mindset that you inherited or learned from previous generations, the media, or other people in your life, and didn’t think to question it because you personally had never experienced a reason TO question it before now.

LOL its funny, and I say its funny when its really not but lol you laugh so you dont scream am I right? Iykyk. But its funny how years later even just THINKING about this one fucking message I sent and what it got me in return has my hands shaking so bad its taking me three times longer than it should to write this post. I’ve had to get up and walk around at least twice to get my thoughts in order so I could finish it.

And here’s the part so many smug assholes over the years just willfully refuse to understand. I’m not TRIGGERED thinking about this cuz I’m oh so fragile. And frankly, it’d be fine if I WAS, whatever that happens to mean in your eyes, I’m just clarifying, its not the case here. LMAO. I didn’t survive a childhood of physical, mental, emotional and sexual abuse, I didn’t survive being gaybashed and assaulted in college, I didn’t survive years of shitty experiences as a sex worker, my fucking jaw collapsing because of longterm physical consequences of being attacked.....

By being nearly as fucking fragile as some people on this site like to convince themselves I am when I get worked up about stuff like this.

My hands aren’t shaking because I can’t handle reminders of what I’ve been through or whatever people convince themselves of while telling each other in their discord server that I really should just stay away from content I can’t deal with.

I’m fucking vibrating like I’m Wally West because years after this stupid, should have been nothing message I tried so hard to make informative and personal instead of aggressive and accusatory......

I’m still PISSED.

At how STUPID all of this is. At how HYPOCRITICAL some of you are. At how I’ve made a point practically my entire time in fandom, to be open and forthcoming about my past and traumas because if I’m going to be in fandoms obsessed with male rape survivor characters and abuse I’d rather at least let my perspective be available as a RESOURCE if anyone wants it than just stew in how I feel every time I come across a post or fic I don’t think has the slightest awareness of how its coming across.....

And the sheer volume of times I’ve had people coo at me and ooh and aww about how sorry they are for what I’ve been through like that’s REMOTELY why I talk about these topics or what I’m looking for.....

Only to see those exact same people turn around and mock me behind my back, spread lies about me, attempt to gaslight me at every possible turn into thinking I’M the problem, if I would just quietly and passively accept that people are going to reinforce and validate the very mindsets that led people to do certain shit to me in the past, that some people are interested in GETTING OFF to these mindsets, well then everyone would just be so much happier....

And meanwhile, I’ve made post after post after post about my experiences or perspectives as a male survivor that I can’t even hit double digits on, note wise, even as the stupidest of my shitposts hit triple digits and more....

When the ONLY reason I post about those topics is not because I’m interested in being any kind of authority on male rape, childhood abuse, incest, etc, or think I ever possibly COULD be just because I’m one person these things happened to, but merely because if the conversations about them are going to CONSTANTLY be happening around me whether I want them to or not, I’d at least rather have my voice be INCLUDED and CONSIDERED in those conversations instead of just having to sit there LISTENING to people offer up uninformed opinions with complete certainty they know everything that’s ever been worth THINKING about in terms of that topic and if there’s anything else, well its obviously not important or else their enlightened asses would have already instinctively known it, wouldn’t they.....

My god. Its infuriating.

And hell, I’m KEENLY aware that even with all that, I’d still loaded to the brim with cis white male privilege, so trust me when I say I TRULY do not understand how some of my friends who have to deal with shithead hypocrisy on axes I don’t have any experience on, on a DAILY basis on this site and others, put up with some of you. And its why I will ALWAYS side with them no matter how ‘aggressive’ they’re being in the face of some faux-civil asshat crying fake tears about how they’ve been accused of being a heinous person which of course justifies anything and everything they say and do in response now.

But yeah. The hypocrisy of people. The fake ‘I care so much about survivors that I’m going to make this one a running joke on my blog because he dared make me THINK about the content I churn out every week to entertain myself and my friends, the GALL.’

That’s the shit that gets me. That keeps me from joining servers myself, that has me wary of even DMing with people I only know from their notifications on my posts, because I’ve got zero interest in having a fun headcanon chat session with someone who will two days later be faux-sympathetically vagueblogging with a friend how its so sad how I can’t move past certain things or let them go even though they’re part of the reason I’m constantly re-exposed to stuff even just in the tags people add TO MY OWN POSTS.

All because some people on here are so fucking TERRIFIED of what they might find if they ever tried a little serious self-examination, they’d rather reduce self-professed survivors to tragic victims while being fully prepared to vilify them the SECOND they say something a little too real or paint a picture someone doesn’t want to see themselves in.

Because god forbid some of you figure out how to just say....

”I’m sorry. What you brought up made me insecure and nervous when I thought about how many people I might have unintentionally hurt over the years while thinking I was just having fun with my friends, so I lashed out.”

Or “I didn’t know how to handle not being as thoughtful or informed as I like to think I am, so I made you the enemy instead.”

Or “I didn’t want you to be right so I made sure I believed you were wrong.”

Or “I was immature and not ready to tackle the work this might mean I needed to do on myself, so I pretended I couldn’t see it.”

I mean, after all, the ONLY thing I ever expected or hoped for - or hell, NEEDED - from that one writer I raised as an example, from years ago - was just a simple:

“I’m sorry, I literally just never thought about it that way before but I’ll add a note so people know that’ll be in the fic.”

That’s it. That’s all that was ever needed. I didn’t need or want their life story, their penance, them to fall over themselves making it about me or my trauma just because I brought it up, I didn’t expect them to shift their whole worldview from a single message.

Just a simple acknowledgment that I and my viewpoint were not unreasonable, and hey, maybe they’re not perfect and there’s still more work to be done on some mindsets or viewpoints they’ve always taken for granted.

The end.

(Or at least, it could’ve been).

[noname-nonartist]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you! get to know your mutuals and followers ♡

Ooooo!!! Hi CC!!! ^w^/

Thank you so much for the asks!!!

Hmm okay! So 5 things that makes me genuinely happy…. Okay! Let’s go!!!

1. Project Sekai!

Atm, it’s my current hyperfixations! An Shiraishi and Mizuki Akiyama has my heart and soullll!!!

2. Drawing!

Whenever I have the energy (and if I ended up liking the drawing enough to post it lol), I do enjoy drawing a lot! It’s like. One of the only hobby I have since childhood tbh lol~

3. My Past Hyperfixations!

This would include Marigolds by Colbub, Persona 5, Baldur’s Gate 3, Jujutsu Kaisen, Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, Genshin Impact, Ace Attorney, One Piece, and Fire Emblem Awakening!

Of course there are a bunch of other things I got super hyperfixated about (heck, technically I always go back to Pokemon and Digimon since it was like my childhood), but these are the ones I remember being hyperfixated for monthsssss and so much so I would spend hours on ao3 reading fanfics of it!

(The expectation being marigolds since that’s technically an ao3 fic, A REALLY GOOD ONE, but I am in the discord server for that fic. :3c)

4. Cute Plushies (And I guess Merch of my Hyperfixations too lol)

Luckily I don’t really go on a spending spree… that often! (sometimes the AHDH impulse wins, don’t worry, my max is $150, and even then I don’t reach that limit, and I only do it at least every few months) O3O;

But I do occasionally enjoy getting a cute plushie at an arcade, in fact my bed has a good amount of them (mostly from my siblings winning them for me or giving it to me lol).

And now that I’m an adult (Oh god… I’m an adult), I do have a few Merch that I’ve bought! (A few of them were also gifts from friends and family)

The merch being about Jjk, Persona 5, Genshin Impact, Digimon, and Pokemon!

Watch me. I’ll soon get some for Project Sekai too!!! I just keep spending my Project Sekai indulgence savings on the costumes within the game lol. I’m responsible I swear!

5. Friends and Family!!!

I’ve been pretty lucky to have pretty good siblings. Of course, we didn’t always gotten along while growing up and we’re still not perfect, but I do really love them and really appreciate every thing they have done for me. :’3

And I really appreciate my friends too! Both online and in person too!!!

In person due to me being friends with them for so long, (and a few more recent ones too!) who I’ve always enjoyed being around with and makes my day better! ^w^/

And my online friends! While it’s some times hard for me to always DM them/interact with them due to real life stuff (sometimes I be reallly tired from work rippp X-X;), I always cherish our interactions and always wish you all the best days since you all deserve it!!!

Okay! That’s all now it’s time to tag! But since I’m super shy, I don’t wanna tag peeps who had reblogged my stuff. >x<;

So instead, I’ll just tag my online friends who had reblogged my posts in the past! That counts right? :Dc

Again, no pressure!!! ^w^/

@melodiclune (lol yep, ya count too~), @hxhhasmysoul, @himi-wiz, @tinyballerinadancer1, @sabrondabrainrot, @wrathofnature, @majycka, @olasketches, @thedemonreblogs, @blizzardream, @chocodajib

[tiptapricot]

1,000 follower celebration!

Ty for everyone who voted on what to do :-D I’ve decided to take the top two choices so people can do things depending on their energy levels, so!

Draw/Write/Create this in your style:

Make something based off, expanding, or rewriting the prompt(s) below and either submit it via the ask box or make your own post and tag me! I’ll also be checking the hashtag #1000 tip fruits if you’d just like to put it there :-) You can make fic, art, meta, headcanons, collages, whatever you’d like! There is a general prompt that can be used for fandoms, OCs, or however you want to take it, as well a few fandom specific prompts. You are welcome to do any you’d like or combine a few if you’re interested in a crossover!

Ask Game:

My ask box is open to general Q’s about me, my writing, specific fics, characters, fandoms, etc! I won’t answer anything intimate about myself, but am open to nsfw hc asks about characters or ships as well :-) Any headcanon posts will be shorter than my normal ones but I’ll still try to give a good batch of thoughts!

Both these “events” will be open until the end of September! I’ll be reblogging stuff people make, but it’s a loosish period as there’s no contest or raffle or anything at the end and I mainly just want people to have fun :-)

💕 Thank you all for being here in my goofy corner, and I hope we can continue to vibe and grow as we continue to in our own lives :-D 💕

(Prompts below cut)

General prompt: Small things make up love languages. Intent with care, wanting with direction, and sometimes even just a reminder that one party values the other. It’s not a science, really. Everyone is different.

Moon Knight (comics or show): Jake often finds himself in the middle of disagreements, caught between Marc’s militaristic necessities and Steven’s push for comfort and collection. Today, however, he’s taken a firm side, and no one will make him budge.

WWBN (marvel special): With all the universes out there, the line between hunter and monster often blurs. It’s odd to see a case, however, where everything has been swapped while staying so closely the same.

TLB: There are many nights Michael doesn’t remember from the summer of 1987, more now that he’s grown into grey hairs and spotted fingertips. Sometimes he still tries to imagine what it may have been like between flickers of firelight and the flash of fangs, if nothing than for his own amusement.

BnT: Ever since they grew far enough out of trick or treating age that it felt strange to go door to door, Bill and Ted have been trying to establish a new Halloween routine. Ted’s not so sure about this idea, though.

Spider-verse (characters and/or ocs!): An anomaly manages to break free in HQ, spreading a mass of glitches through the building that send several spider people tumbling into dimensions not their own. Whether via escape or rescue, there is a mess that needs cleaning up, and fast.

DC (comics, cartoons, live action, whatever!): It’s not the first time heroes from the future have met heroes from the past, but it may be the first time they’ve managed to get lunch without a world ending event hovering on the horizon.

[kincalling]

Hello, okay so. Helena Bertinelli, Detective Comics better known as DC, I miss Dinah and Barbara so badly. Even when me and Barbara had arguments, Dinah would always be there for both of us. I miss them.

Like or Reblog and I’ll interact with you.

🐛

[lightwing-s]

Got tagged by my lovely Nessie at @igotanidea

20 Questions for Fic Writers!

I'll be tagging: only @angelltheninth and @millyhelp because I have no one else to tag lol

How many works do you have on AO3?

It's a shame really that I've never been an AO3 user. I recognize that's the best place for a fic writer to be but I was always so used to tumblr that I feared migrating and not getting a new platform. But lmk if you think I should start publishing there as well

What’s your total A03 word count?

//

What fandoms do you write for?

I write mostly Dick and Jason, but I do all the BatBoys + Bruce, Narnia and now COD, but I’m also open to write for a few other Marvel, Harry Potter and other fandoms I also enjoy. So it’s always wise to ask me if I write a certain character because I might eventually do.

What are your top five fics by kudos?

//

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I love receiving comments, be it on replies or reblogs, they always bring a smile on my face wherever I am. However, sometimes I feel like I’d be bothering people if I replied (????), like idk, so I most commonly don’t but in my head I’m having full on conversations with everyone lol. I feel like I need to change this and interact more with my readers.

New Year resolution, perhaps?

What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Maybe 'I'll Show You' or 'Gravity', but I'm not even sure those count. I noticed I always make my fics have a happy ending.

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I love happy ending fics, so I mostly write them. I’m not sure which one is the happiest though. 'Hello Officer' has a pretty good happy ending imo.

Do you get hate on your fic?

Thankfully not!

Do you write smut?

Yep, although I feel like it’s not my best quality. I’m getting better though, I feel, and it’s not as hard for me to write it as it once was.

Do you write crossovers?

Never been the biggest fan of the trope/genre

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Again, thankfully not.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not this one either

Have you ever co-written a fic?

Me and my friend had some plans a few years ago, but never came to do it. I’m open to doing it though.

What‘s your all-time favourite ship?

MonDler (Friends), Percabeth (PJandTO), Spitfire (Young Justice)

What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Gravity — Jason Todd x Reader

What’s your writing strengths?

Comfort moments, certain descriptions of feelings, and definitely backstories!

What’s your writing weaknesses?

I’ll put here: smut (I had never written it before last year, so I’m slowly getting better at it); vocabulary, as English is not my first language, and writing speed haha.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I feel like it has to be done in a way that will not get in the way of the reader’s reading, specially if they don’t know the language and might struggle to understand and keep up with the story. I like it to a certain degree, it has to be done write for it to work I guess.

First fandom you wrote for?

First fandom I wrote for and posted or the first I’ve EVER written for? Those are two different answers haha. The first question would be DC/BatBoys, the second would be One Direction.

ACTUALLY!!! I did have a One Direction tumblr with a few friends back in like 2014? They were probably first that I wrote for AND published lol.

Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

Has to be "I want to k__ you". Starting from the title, I think I wrote it as perfectly as I could and finished it on a nice note.