#not in there yet but intimacy always sounds scary

[actuallysaiyan]

Fiery Love(Kyojuro Rengoku x Fem!Reader)

warnings: fellatio/male receiving oral sex, dirty talk, morning head, slight somnophilia if you squint word count: 1k pairings: Kyojuro Rengoku x Fem!Reader a/n: Happy Birthday Kyojuro!!!

You roll over in bed, the sun beginning to shine through the drapes. The sleep you had last night was just perfect. When you look at the beautiful man lying next to you, you swear you’ve been blessed by the gods above. He is just so perfect. And to be able to spend the day with him, it was going to be so perfect as well. 

It was rare that you had a few days off with your Hashira boyfriend. He works crazy hard keeping everyone safe from demons. You never quite understood how he could go out and do such a dangerous and scary job, but you were more than grateful for him and his fellow Hashira. So when they told him he could take a few days off for his birthday, you were so excited. The two of you decided to go stay at the Rengoku estate.

While his father wasn’t the most welcoming, he allowed the two of you to stay for the few days that Kyojuro had off. Senjuro, Kyojuro’s brother, was so ecstatic to have his older brother be there with him. And he took to you like flies to honey. The first night, you and Kyojuro relaxed in the onsen and had a big feast. The next day, today, was supposed to be for relaxing completely. Kyojuro would be allowed to sleep in for once. Something he rarely did.

So when you saw that he was sleeping so peacefully, you almost couldn’t go on with your plan. But you decided it might be nice for him to wake up to such a nice surprise. Not only was it rare for the two of you to have any time to relax, but it was even more rare to have time for intimacy. So you knew that this day would be perfect for it.

You begin by slowly kissing his neck, and then you make a sloppy trail down his naked body. Kyojuro stirs slightly, but he doesn’t wake just yet. You want to take him into your mouth before he even gets hard, but you know that Kyojuro’s high sex drive might make that almost impossible. So you spread his thighs ever so gently, which earns you a soft moan from your fiery lover. Yet still he does not rouse from his sleep.

You wrap your lips around the tip of his cock, moaning as you taste the beginnings of his precum. He tastes salty and musky, the perfect combination in your opinion. Slowly, as you take more of him into your mouth, you feel the half-hard cock become engorged with blood. A loud moan slips from his lips as he finally wakes up and looks down at you through hooded eyes.

“Oh my flower…” he groans sleepily. “Oh, my sweet lover…”

You love the way that he speaks to you, even while you two are intimate. You know there are times that he will be more rough, but he always tries to praise you and say the sweetest things and call you by the cutest pet names.

As he begins waking up even more, you begin a steady pace of bobbing your head up and down. Your saliva coats his throbbing cock, making it so slippery inside your already very wet and warm mouth. The moans that come out of Kyojuro’s mouth now are just downright erotic. You’ve never heard him sound so blissful in your life. You make note to do this to him again some other time you two have this kind of situation going on.

“Your mouth is…is so wet,” he moans as he begins tangling his fingers in your hair.

You look up at him through your lashes, making him grunt. He’s a sucker for the way you always look at him like he’s strung the stars in the sky. It’s just so beautiful to him to know that you adore him and admire him that much. Even while you’re sucking his cock, Kyojuro knows that you love him so much.

He begins pumping his hips a little desperately, not sure what to do anymore. He just knows that he needs more stimulation, and you’re more than happy to provide it to him. He loves how you’ll always do things to make him feel good, despite the fact that he can’t always return those things to you because of how busy and dangerous things get.

“Gonna make me cum, honey…”

You love the sound of his sleepy voice. It’s so deep and gravelly, but it’s also a little whiny in ways. You cannot deny that you are completely turned on and your cunt is just clenching around nothing as you continue to deepthroat your boyfriend. He’s panting and begging and moaning, all the while his hips keep bucking to get more and more stimulation from that pretty mouth of yours,

A few more swipes of your soft, velvety tongue on the underside of his cock and he’s falling off the edge. The loudest grunt rumbles through him as ropes of hot, thick cum begin coating your mouth and spilling down your throat. You swallow it all up, moaning pleasantly as you drink up everything he has to give you.

Finally, he releases you, and he smiles down at you as you continue to suck on his cock. He’s so sensitive, but he just can’t bring himself to pull you off his cock just yet. He loves watching you act like the cumslut you are. Your eyes are so full of love as you look up at him once more.

“Such a beautiful little cumslut for me,” he smirks as he says these words. Often whenever he says anything dirty, it really lights a fire of need deep in your belly.

You release him with a loud pop and give the head little kitten licks. Kyojuro wonders if he’s ever seen such a wonderful sight in his life and if he’ll ever see anything more beautiful in his life. Finally, you crawl on top of him and begin kissing him so passionately. He runs his fingers through your hair as he holds you so close.

“Happy birthday, my flame.”

[skinnywalker]

Can I get a nsfw alphabet with Rz Michael Myers please?

NSFW ABCS with RZ Michael Myers

Surprised I haven't written this yet 😭

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

You have to teach him aftercare because he has no clue what it is, although he will try to cuddle after sex but it's still in his big awkward way.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He doesn't really have a favorite of his. If mask count it is his favorite. For you it's your hips and thighs. He just latches on to those during sex everytime.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He doesn't not care at all where it goes.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He is a panty thief. Stealing anything he can get his hands on so always check you landry.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

None at all unsurprisingly.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Doggy, mating press, or reverse cowgirl.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

It's Michael there is no humor.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

You've seen his hair, you KNOW he is totally buck wild.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Rough but caring. He always wants to be sweet but he can't help himself.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He does when you not around. All the time.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Breeding, oral (giving and receiving), bondge and somnophilia.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Any where, any time and any place.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

You. Anything you do makes him want to fuck.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Mommy/daddy or degrading.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Receiving but he won't mind trying the deed on you.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Fast and rough. He is never really sensual but he does try to care.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Sometimes he is down but really only when he is busy.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

No he likes the safe way. He doesn't like doing new or scary things.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

As many as he wants. Normal 4 or 5 if you can.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

No he just uses himself. That's all he needs and so will you.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He doesn't care whether he is teasing or not he is fucking how he wants.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Little grunts til he finishes with a loud grunt than a small whimper. Everytime.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He really does want to cuddle after sex but he doesn't know how to ask.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Big and thick about 9 inches uncut and dark pink at the tip.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Pretty high but he can never communicate it to you so times he'll just grab you if he wants you.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He doesn't sleep. Not unless he is dead tired.

[athanasius-symposium-of-writings]

NSFT Alphabet: Morningstar!Ithaqua

Here's wonderwall!!

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Morningstar likes to hold you, resting his head on your chest to hear your heartbeat. The whispers on your skin of “I love you” repeated obsessively

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His hands. He likes what he can do with them especially when it comes to what these hands can do to you. These hands that have been covered by so much blood, these hands that have you begging for him.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

One might call him a painter (no one does) with how he loves to see you love to come on you, yet not your face 

D = Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Likes the idea of fucking you with his brother or fucking you in front of his brother (not really a dirt secret because he would mention it from time to when thinking about him)

E = Experience (how experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

This one has a lot of experience and knows what he likes and does not like in the bedroom

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Reverse cowgirl (riding but facing away from the partner)

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)

He is not goofy and more sadistic in bed so kinda serious 

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Like Ithaqua he does not have a lot of hair and is very light colored

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? The romantic aspect)

He can be romantic but it at a cost 

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

If he is jacking off it is in front of you and punishing you for something

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

For plot reasons he has whatever i think fits him so imma say generally BDSM themes

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

The throne room, his bedchambers, that cage prison where he put his brother, the garden, etc (anywhere he can get away with taking you)

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Simple man anything can get him going

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)

Bathroom related things 

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Both and very skilled

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

A mix of both depend on his mood

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Love and hate quickies but does them often

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)

Very much a risk person and that should worry you because he can go too far at times

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)

A lot, pray. No seriously 

T = Toys (do they own toys? Do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Like Ithaqua: no. His dick is enough and if you need a toy then he will treat you like a toy

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Very unfair

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Mix between loud and quiet.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Morningstar cannot express his genuine love for him like a normal person, he does love you but always comes out as obsessive and possessive to the point of scary

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

He is perfection. 

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Very high

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterward)

He does not sleep, trust issues and his years of wandering do not allow him to sleep well. If he does sleep it is because his body has given out and you are tied to the bed unable to do anything but lay there

[onsunnyside]

the cold is finally getting to me methinks bc im longing for king in the north!curtis 😌 big n burly in his bearskin cloak, your scary betrothed!! you're just a princess from far far away and he doesnt have to be nice to you or care about you but you're too sweetly scared to ignore

methinks he tells you that it gets too cold to sleep alone despite u having your own bedroom and clothes would get in the way of heat sharing so you'll have to be naked while you cuddle to sleep 🫣

i've always wanted to write a time period au and this has so much potential and more !!

resources were already scarce in your region and with the harshest winter approaching, your beloved homeland will be the first on the hitlist of bandits or other kingdoms, that is if you even survive the snowfall. and marriage will bring that security and power to your kingdom that your parents have always dreamt of. everyone thought Curtis did it as a favour to your kingdom bc it's so out of character for the king of war and bloodshed to tie himself to someone eternally (much less, someone so sweet and gentle). the King of the North was only ever known as the end, the indefinite death that lurked in every corner.

did you like him? well, how could you like him if he's never spoken to you, apart from the few sentences the day before your wedding and said stone-cold and uncomfortable wedding. oh, and you can't forget his gruff utterances as he passes you in the halls. he was intimidating, to say the least, draped in his bearskin cloak and his blue eyes always set in a steely glare as if he were prepping for war. you wouldn't be surprised if he was, he was known as the ruthless king after all.

You feel his hard gaze searing into your face, yet he's still silent and only quirks a brow. "You're upset." He states blankly, food is forgotten in front of him.

Across the large table, you wipe your nose, the same action that caught his attention in the first place. "N-No."

He clenches his jaw, "You know I hate liars." His deep voice rings through the dining room, the servants had left momentarily as per the king's request. "Come here." You almost say no again, but he raps his knuckles on the wooden table, "Now, princess." You stand from your seat and after a few tentative steps, you find yourself standing between his spread thighs. "I-I miss home." Your voice cracks, "I miss the flowers and the wisteria trees, I miss the pond with the ducks and fish. I-I miss the sky! It was blue—so blue, and there are only clouds over here." You hate to sound so torn, but you're so lonely! You're forced to navigate unknown territory alone, going days without even a conversation with your husband!

now, don't hate curtis. he's a very busy busy man, his kingdom isn't the most feared (respected ??) for nothing and his loyal subjects aren't prospering just because. he's been working nonstop to communicate with your hovering parents, and ofc, spreading the word that the most sought-after princess has been wedded.

you get even more upset when you don't see curtis the next day and the day after that. although your marriage was more of a pitiful agreement, you still expected him to comfort you, or at least to listen to your mindless weeping about the damn sky!

oh... as surprising as it may be for the rest of the world, it turns out Curtis has a heart bc the next time you see him, he's standing by a large door. with an outstretched hand, he brings you close, holding your shocked face between his warm palms and pressing a soft kiss to your forehead (the closest act of intimacy he's shown since your wedding).

"Your homeland plants can't survive here during the time of year, but these can." He gestures to the small garden, peeking out from the neverending snowfall was itty bitty flowers, colourful and vibrant amongst the white. "There would be more, but only so few were found in the forest."

me thinks... when curtis turns total protective husband mode and gives into his desires, he never lets you leave his side. you become his wife in every sense of the word, his other half. if he could, he'd have you on his lap during meetings or as he sits on his throne. don't get me started on the filthy stuff: you're a virgin, and he didn't touch you on your wedding night, apart from a stiff kiss at the altar. he's equally sweet and mean, lots of kissing and touching, but also crude remarks that he whispers in your ear to watch you get all flustered.

also: he persuades you to sleep in his bed naked, it's easy to convince a clueless girl like you. he starts off with some light caressing, then reclines and asks if you want to explore his body instead. one thing leads to another and well... pussyjob with big beefy curtis while he talks about how he can't fit inside you 🫣🫣

[thaenad]

Hey. I love your work so much on your other blog (and have even sent anons there) but since this one is more feedism-related than fat lib related I figured I’d send it here, I hope that’s okay.

Do you have any recommendations for people with this kink who are so deeply ashamed by it that they haven’t been able to tell anyone about it their entire lives? I’m alloace and never had a partner partially because the only sense of sexuality I have is this kink and I have always felt like that makes it almost impossible to truly connect with a partner without knowing 100% they’re into it beforehand. And yet, I have so much social anxiety that I hardly meet people period and given the shame surrounding this kink I kind of assume anyone who I’d really click with would never tell me they were also interested in this and wanted me to feed them unless we’re already in a relationship. I can’t even be open and honest with friends about it because I’m terrified of their judgement especially because I AM so pro-fat lib and have been so vocally around them and I dunno. U saw all those anons u got lol.

I dunno I’ve just resigned myself to never having that kind of intimacy but it’s hard sometimes when I know deep down that it’s what I want. Do you have any recommendations for what I can do to start being more open and honest about my sexuality and hopefully feel a lot less ashamed? (For the record I am very sex-positive, for everyone but me if that makes sense. Lmao.)

Hey there anon, it's absolutely okay! I'd love to have more of these conversations with fellow feedists on this blog, especially since it's a much safer space for all of us.

Oof. I just wanna reach through the screen and give you a great big hug. I can completely relate to what you're going through right now (also as an alloace). I struggled with the exact same fears before coming out to anyone 5-ish years ago. It's so hard to feel like you have to hide or deny such a big part of who you are, and I hope you're doing okay. Just sending me this ask is a great step towards self acceptance, because connecting with other people who get it can help so much. If you need to talk, my inbox and dms are always open. ❤️

I will say the most monumental step for me was talking about it out loud with someone. Although the shame may cause paranoia, I promise that you can tell your best friend and they will still love you. Yes, the backlash from fat libbers on the internet is scary, but they don't know us, we're just a concept to them. The people who know you already know that you are not a predator. The people who know you know your intentions are good, they love you, and they want to support you. If they listen to you with compassion when you express yourself other times, they will listen with compassion when you talk about this.

The fact that you are passionate about fat liberation means you have already crossed the biggest obstacle when it comes to self acceptance for feedists: knowing that there is nothing wrong with fatness. Most people take their entire lives to discover that fact (or never do), and you are already there. And from what it sounds like, you are surrounding yourself with fat positive friends. That's huge. Take a minute to celebrate yourself for that.

If you decide to open up about being a feedist to anyone, be selective. Fat positive people are safer because they already understand the basics. They already know you're passionate about fat lib, being a feedist won't negate that, it will make sense. Most people actually have no idea what feedism is, so you might have the chance to explain it for the first time in a way that is positive, and that can be incredibly validating and empowering.

The person you share this with will know how hard it is for you. The first time I opened up to my best friend about it, I wept on her shoulder. Nothing changed between us except I felt seen and supported, and now she sends me posts with food and teases me about fat guys, and we laugh about it, like she would with any friend. It's made me feel so much more close to normal.

If that feels impossible right now, that's okay. Keep talking to feedists online, keep seeking community. I had to make friendships with feedists years before I could even imagine telling my own friends. The more normal you feel, the less scarier it gets.

It can be really, really hard. I ended up seeking therapy because I was struggling so much with shame. I knew I needed it, but for years I put it off because I didn't know if I could trust a therapist, I thought they might diagnose me with a sexual disorder and try to give me conversion therapy! Needless to say, that was the shame talking. Fear can cause our minds to heighten things out of proportion. It also took years of conversations out loud with a friend or two to finally be able to talk about it in a therapy setting. This shit takes time. After I discovered fat liberation, flung myself into the research and dissolved some of my own fatphobia (the BIGGEST step of all!) I ended up searching for a fat-positive, kink-conscious therapist, and guess what? They exist! They are 100% sex positive, understand the principle of bodily autonomy and that health does not determine a person's worth, and will remind you of those things over and over. I still see my therapist, they've always been in my corner cheering me on. They've helped me through the shame and fear, and they've helped me navigate my sexual & romantic relationships as a feedist. It's one of the best decisions I have ever made for myself.

Here's a post I made on how to find feedist-friendly therapists.

"I have always felt like that makes it almost impossible to truly connect with a partner without knowing 100% they’re into it beforehand."

I feel the exact same way. It was so isolating and horrifying before I realized that I don't have to date non-feedists. I know this is something that will likely take a LOT of healing first, but I want to share my experience just so that you can see what a potential future looks like. First I tried dating on feabie, got into my first relationship, but it ended very badly for me. Again, it took a long time, but eventually, once I knew my self worth, knew that there are lots of people out there who will be into what I'm into, and could spot red flags, I was able to disclose my preference for feedism on regular dating apps. I didn't care what strangers thought. Some people asked me what it was all about, politely expressed that it wasn't for them, and we parted ways. It is such a relief to have potential partners know I'm a feedist up front. I eventually met my current partner and the love of my life on Hinge. I had feedism in my profile and he sent me a message saying, "hey! I'm into that too." If a feedist relationship is something you feel like you can't live without, I want you to know that it's possible for you. If you tell people what you're looking for, they will come. You'd be so, so suprised. But it takes a while to get there. The fact that you want it for yourself is huge, and I am so proud of you for reaching out for support.

Take it from someone who lied awake every night in agony, crying and worrying and wishing I just had someone out there to tell me that it was going to be okay.

Please know this, dear heart:

It's going to be okay. ❤️

[magnoliacharmed]

Not So Scary After All

(not my gif!)

18+, Bret Hart x Fem!Reader one shot

[Also available on Archive of Our Own!]

Word count: ~3.1k

Tags: Secret relationship, sneaking around, flirting, vaginal fingering, hand job, hickeys, condomless sex

Summary:

You and Bret try your hardest not to reveal your secret relationship to everyone. Eventually you two have too much fun one night and accidentally make the relationship known.

"Do you like scary movies?" 

You stood up on your tiptoes behind Bret, just barely reaching his ear. It took a lot of practice to get your voice to be threateningly gravelly, yet still sexy. 

"Yeah." There was a playful tone in his voice. 

You cleared your throat, the sound coming with a higher pitch than you would've liked. You put the voice on again. "What's your favorite scary movie?"

---

You'd been watching Scream quite a bit ever since it was released on videotape. After learning that Bret was a fan of all things horror, you finally managed to convince him to come to your room so he could watch it with you. You both sat through the first forty-five minutes of it, completely engaged like it was new to you, until Bret pulled you to sit in his lap. 

You were surprised that your plan had actually worked, considering that you were pretty sure he hated you! He didn't say much to you backstage and always had a look of simmering annoyance when your name was spoken near him. You took his reactions in stride and left him alone for the most part. Not everyone was going to like you. Damned if you didn't throw a little bit of yourself Bret's way occasionally to gauge his reaction, though. His beautiful brown eyes couldn't help but to fall to your chest every once in a while. You never seemed to be wearing a bra when that happened. 

After your tryst together you laid on his broad, heaving chest and decided to ruin the moment. 

"I thought you didn't like me."

Bret's huge hand raised up from the bed. You placed your own hand palm side to his. His fingers pushed your hand into a fist which he then covered with his own completely. You didn't realize how physically imposing he was until this moment of intimacy. The man simply took up space. 

"That's exactly what I wanted you to think." 

Your eyebrows raised as you lifted up to straddle his body. He looked up at you with a smugness that got you turned on all over again. Your hands ran up and down his chest while he continued to speak.

"I would've flirted with you too often and gotten myself in trouble."

You smiled at this reveal. If anything you would've been the one getting yourself in trouble with him. Generally you could keep it cool in the face of lust (and love)… but there was something about Bret that made you feel like a kid with a schoolyard crush all over again. "So instead you pretended you didn't want anything to do with me?"

"You're a smart girl. You're bold too. I had a feeling you'd test the waters one day."

With a light slap against his chest and a kiss pressed to his cheek he rolled you over. You were trapped under him now, his eyes shining into yours. He didn't give you the chance to react to his words as his lips began to move from your ear down to your neck, strands of his brown hair brushing past you and lighting you on fire in their wake. 

Memories of that night returned to you at inopportune moments over the next couple of months. It was hard to focus at the gym when you kept replaying the way Bret said your name while he was inside you. Continuing the charade of feigned irritation toward you was proving to be difficult for him too. How could he pretend that you were a nuisance when every time you looked at him he got so hard it hurt? It got to the point that you both took the risk of sneaking away for little moments together. You two made out like horny teenagers in every dark corner you could find. There were only a handful of times you thought you'd get caught and once was almost by Mr. McMahon himself. It wasn't enough to dissuade either of you. Some professionals you were. You were each other's one weakness. 

The problems really started when you two left hickeys on each other's necks. 

What an amateur move that was!

The heat of the moment was just too much to handle. The thrill of getting exposed was making you two not think straight. You could come up with all the excuses in the world but what's done was done. Now you and Bret both sported big purple hickeys for the world to see. How were you going to explain that matching set to everyone?

To be fair, Bret started it! There was just something about the expanse of skin on your neck that made him want to keep his lips on it whenever possible. He was being such an asshole that night. Whispering the dirtiest words you had ever had the pleasure of hearing in your life, he stood behind you while you looked at yourself in the hotel mirror. Your hands stopped trying to fix your hair as you felt him approach you. 

"You can't go out tonight, not until I make you come again." He whispered into your ear and immediately you were wet. You wondered why you even bothered wearing panties around him sometimes. 

You stared at him through the mirror. The slight pain of a hickey was always so much fun. He latched on you the same way a vampire latched onto his victim. The thought of Bret in comically bad vampire teeth was funny enough for you to mentally file away for later when you needed a pick-me-up. 

"You're not the boss of me." You hoped you could keep up the brat act for longer than usual and finally win this game of--

You were shocked out of your thoughts by how loud your moan was. Focusing on the reflection in the mirror once again somehow Bret had managed to sneak his hand under the seat of your underwear. It's not like there was much to the skimpy fabric. He could have ripped it away with little force. The thought of doing so crossed his mind and burned bright. He could imagine you going wide eyed at the sudden roughness of the gesture. Instead though, he restrained himself. You could have just as easily gotten pissed at him too. 

The hickey he left began to hurt more than anything. As soon as it approached becoming unbearable, the pads of his fingers grazed over your clit. His own hardness pressed into your backside with an urgency. You were already so wet for him and he'd barely touched you. It was little things that made these risks worth taking. Your eyelids fluttered at the lazy swirling motions across your most sensitive spot. He liked seeing you slowly come undone because of him. 

Bret no longer had to imagine that look of surprise on your face he desperately needed to see. He decided to go all in and rip your panties off of you, the fabric of them falling onto the floor abruptly. 

"What's gotten into you?" You breathed at him. One of his large fingers was inside you now, slowly moving in and out. Your muscles twitched at the sensation. He could be such a tease sometimes. 

You didn't receive an answer to your question. You did, however, feel Bret's free hand reach up to your jaw. He moved your head to look straight into the mirror at you while he held you to him. How lewd you looked, hair a mess and panting away while Bret fingered you. He wanted you to see just what he could do to you. You were happy you were in a hotel room instead of a dark corridor or dressing room so you whimper and moan as loud as you wanted. Bret's grip on your jaw was tight. He didn't want you to miss the show. 

Finally he released himself from the hickey. In the back of your mind you hoped it wouldn't look quite as bad as it felt. The dull ache seemed to spread and pump in time with your own raised heartbeat. Bret pushed another finger into you and your eyes squeezed shut at the pleasure. 

"We're not standing in the mirror for nothing. Open your eyes and see how pretty you look." He was starting to get close himself just from the way you were writhing against him. With a superhuman amount of effort your eyes opened again to meet his in the mirror. The hand he'd placed on your jaw was now on your neck, his thumb rubbing lightly against the hickey he'd just left. He barely put any pressure into his grip as your orgasm took over you.

His name came out of you in chants and breathless pleas. Your knees buckled below you causing you to almost collapse right onto the floor. Bret's arms wrapped around your waist before you could fully fall down. There were a lot of words running through your mind that just couldn't form themselves into proper sentences. One thing did peek its way through -- you had to return the favor. 

You turned to face Bret, pressing your head against his chest. You had to catch your breath. His own heart was beating fast at the heat of you against him. Your eyes blinked up at him innocently. You hoped they didn't betray you by showing him how much lust you were truly filled with. Just as he was about to speak, most likely to make a joke about you still going out for the night, his voice was cut off by his own strangled groan. You tugged his pants down and shoved a hand into his boxers. Bret began to stumble backwards towards the bed at the feeling of your hand wrapped around him, stroking his length in the deliberate way you knew he liked. Your hand moved in a twisting motion from the base to the tip of him, his pre-come giving you what you needed to stroke at the perfect pace. Now you were the one in charge. 

Bret collapsed on the bed. He was happy he'd managed to shake your hand off him as he sat. He wasn't trying to and definitely wasn't going to waste his orgasm on an (admittedly very good) handjob. No, your pussy was too good for that. He had to have his release inside you. 

His wish was coming true. You hastily pulled his boxers down and straddled him. His arms wrapped around your waist again and he lifted you up off the bed, ankles locking behind him so you wouldn't fall from his grasp. So much for being in control. 

"Sit against the headboard."

"Nah. I think I like having you in the air like this. I can keep a better eye on you."

"Suit yourself," You said with a smile. "Don't blame me when your legs give out and we both hit the floor too hard. You know you start to shake when you come."

It was true. He'd feel pretty embarrassed if he fell. Knowing you were right but not wanting to admit it, you came along with him as he moved pillows out of the way and sat against the headboard. You were back straddling him with full control of your body. The lustful look you were trying so hard to conceal was very present on your face. Bret had noticed you giving him that same look at sneaky and inconvenient moments for him. It never failed to make him hard. He once almost dared to take you right there backstage after you told him just how good he was after a match, that same look on your face.

"You're so good, Bret. So good…" You whispered. You had begun to grind against him. Even with it being torture for you, you knew how crazy it must be driving him. Your wetness slicked over his cock. Bret's eyes seemed to glaze over at the tip of him being impatiently placed at your entrance.

You yelped at the feeling of him filling you up, your body pressing into his further and your lips flying to his neck to suck on the skin there. He let you get adjusted to the thickness of his cock. You were frantically alternating from little kisses to lovebites while your walls clenched around him eagerly. You needed him to move! If he didn't start soon the hickey you left on him would be much worse than the one he left on you. 

As if he was reading your mind, Bret thrusted into you. You chose to straddle him in an attempt at making him lose control while you bounced on top of him. You'd really show him! Secretly though you knew that he'd take control and fuck you instead, leaving you grind into him in response to the way he pounded into you. 

His powerful legs gave him the leverage to drive himself into you over and over. Bret was getting a little dizzy from the stimulation on his neck. Your hands tangled in his hair when you lifted up your head to speak to him. 

"How are you so good… every fucking time?" You punctuated your feelings with a whine. That familiar warmth that built up below was arriving again. You returned to the reddening bruise on his neck and began to suck again. 

You were too much for him, in a good way. Everything about you made some kind of switch flip in his mind that made him only able to think of making you come. It was starting to become all encompassing to the point where he really didn't care if you two got caught. You would be worth it. He thought about he'd approach that subject with you to keep himself from painting your insides too early. 

The attempt was futile. His strokes got deeper and slower whenever you pushed back onto him. The final time you did it, you positioned down on him, another orgasm locking you up completely. Your head fell back away from his neck while you moaned. You bounced just a little on him to chase the residual throes of your pleasure. That movement was enough for him to spill inside you, his cock twitching with spurt after spurt. He was glad he was able to wait. The come began to leak out of you almost immediately to your disappointment.

The stimulation was too much for the both of you. Bret raised you off of him and placed you on the bed beside you gently. The only sounds in the room were the two of you trying to catch your breath. You both stared up at the ceiling with all kinds of thoughts in your mind.  You had to get up and use the bathroom, take a shower, get a glass of water, figure out your outfit for tomorrow… 

You awoke with a start the next morning. Bright light streamed into the room pleasantly. It was going to be a warm day. The lack of warmth in the bed showed that Bret was no longer lying next to you. You scratched your head in confusion then noticed something was scribbled on the bedside notepad. 

"You're in for a surprise…" The note said. Knowing him you were sure it wasn't going to be a fun surprise. Bret loved leaving cryptic notes around you just had to figure out on your own. 

Climbing out of the bed you shuffled into the bathroom to get ready for the day. It took you a few seconds to notice the surprise he was talking about. Right there, plain as day, was a gigantic bruise right at the base of your neck. It was going to be a bitch to cover up. You weren't even sure you had enough concealer to do the job! You groaned with annoyance and decided to step in the shower, stewing in your feelings the entire time. 

The door of the room opened as you stepped out of the bathroom wrapped in a fluffy towel. Bret had a plastic convenience store hanging by his side. You decided to forgo the towel and tossed it onto the bed, leaving you bare in front of him. 

"Are you trying to kill me?" He teased. 

"Me?! What about you, Dracula?" You angrily pointed towards the hickey. The effect of anger was kind of lost on Bret considering you were naked and partially dripping wet. 

Bret pulled the collar of his shirt to the side. He was also sporting an angry looking bruise. Embarrassment wasn't a strong enough word for how you felt. When he let go of his shirt the purpleish edges of the hickey still creeped past the collar. He really went to the store with it showing to the world. Something about you marking him as yours, him marking you as his, was very, very sexy. And kind of sweet. 

"If I'm Dracula what does that make you?"

"A fool who spoke too soon. I can't believe you actually walked around outside with that giant hickey on your neck."

Bret shrugged. "Well I had to get these for us." Bret reached into the bag and pulled out two tubes of concealer. "The girl at the store giggled when I asked where it was." 

You laughed at him too, softly and with appreciation in your voice.

---

"Do you wanna come to my room and watch your favorite scary movie with me?" You gave up on the Ghostface voice halfway through your invitation. Playing with lines from Scream was becoming a little game between the two of you. 

"Sure, as long as I get to be the one that does the stabbing."

"Ew, that was corny." You rolled your eyes at him but laughed as he grabbed you into a hug backstage. It turned out that you two both sucked at applying concealer because everyone could tell that you two both had spent the night together. From the way you avoided each other that fateful day, they assumed you'd been sleeping together for a little while. The other wrestlers ribbed the both of you about your relationship, peppering in statements like:

Oh, I knew the whole time. 

Who were you fooling?

I'm telling on you to Vince!

Somehow Vince was the last to know. When he finally found out by seeing you two hug, he was more upset that he couldn't figure it out before that moment then he was about the actual relationship. The bubble had popped on your secret. You didn't have to hide any more. 

"Now we don't have to worry about the concealer any more." Bret said in a voice low enough for only you to hear. You smiled and kissed his cheek, no longer worried about the consequences of you being together.

[elgascreamslikehell]

Fuck it Friday

and yap, i wasn't tagged, but here it is. Suddenly in more or less literal way.

***

When credit starts on the screen Eddie pauses the movie and smiles.

'I have no idea you've never seen this. It's like a classic'

'It's a cartoon from the sixties! I wasn't even planned yet, I'm not sure my parents were born! But i like it', - Buck is literally glowing.

'How come? You didn't actually see it! So, technically, you still haven't seen that'

'I have a very good imagination and you are a perfect descriptor!', - well, he is. And Buck's imagination is actually very good. There's one small problem. Lately his imagination works in a mysterious way. 18+ way. It's getting a little annoying.

'Okay', - hell, why can he hear Eddie's smile? 'I think Chris is sleeping already. Give me a minute, I'll take him to the bedroom and be back with you'

Buck hears noises and Chris's muttering something and it's such a comfortable situation it's scary. He wants this. Buck wants it to be his life and his family and his son and his Eddie. Fuck he wants Eddie to be his.

He can't actually recall the last time he wanted something so badly.

When Eddie's back Buck's still curled on the couch

'So, what do you want to do now?'

'You…', - Buck's smile has a little glance of guilt: 'You don't want to know'.

'Buck?', - is he blushing? What has Eddie asked that makes him blush?

'Sorry. So, you haven't told me, what's with the doctor?'- change the topic, change the topic!

'I'm cleared for work, so tomorrow Bobby finally will have another person. As I know, he was not really a fan of the substitution he was sent. But I totally can get it, after Jonah…'

'Promise me you'll be extremely careful'

Eddie frowns: 'As always. Buck.. why?'

'Just promise. You know… you're my best friend', - it should be the stop-word for his brain and…other parts but why is it not working now? Eddie is sitting so close Buck can feel his warmth and this very specific wooden note of his cologne, even his pulse - Buck can feel it and all of this is driving him insane.

'Okay?', - Eddie sounds confused a little but he's definitely still smiling.

'Eddie. Look at me'.

He hears Eddie's deep exhale.

'Fine', - and he's not moving like he was looking at Buck all this time. He really was.

'And?',- it's strange for Eddie's taste.

And then Buck puts his hands on Eddie's face making him smile even more.

'Dios, Buck, don't you trust me a bit? Are you checking if I'm looking at you?'

How easier it could have been if Buck wasn't blind. His fingers gently touch Eddie's skin and Eddie freezes. Not that he doesn't trust Buck, it's just too much intimacy in this.

'Buck?'

His heart skips a beat when Buck kisses him.

Buck is scared as hell.

That's funny. Not that he didn't imagine that - well, usually it was more like nightmares about him losing all self control - but it is so much different in real life. First of all - Buck kisses him. This fact itself makes it thousand times more intense even if it's not even a real kiss. Not like Eric kissed him. But when Eric kissed him he didn't feel a thing…

Yet. Buck kisses him.

And fuck Eddie feels so much.

…Buck recoils with horror on his face and it makes Eddie chuckles

'Oh my god I'm so sorry Eddie I don't know what I…'

Shut up, thinks Eddie tenderly but doesn't say a word. Instead he leans back to return this kiss.

Buck still tastes like syrup mostly. Syrop, coffee and lust.

Kissing Buck feels right. Kissing Buck feels like home. Kissing Buck feels like something Eddie misses the whole time.

Kissing Buck feels like water in the desert or oxygen under the water.

Oxygen, by the way, is a good idea because Eddie is dizzy again.

When he slightly moves back he gets two things. He never wants to kiss anyone but Buck. And if they try to ignore it it would be the biggest mistake at least in his life.

'Eddie…', - Buck's panting a little like he tried to run a marathon. Well, not that Eddie is better now, answering as quietly as he can: 'What, Evan?'',- please, please, don't say.. anything stupid. Better don't say anything at all.

'Kiss me once more'.

Well, not that he needs to be asked.

Buck feels too much. It's all too much. And hell he needs to see, that's most probably the first time when he eagerly needs to see Eddie. Just to be sure. According to his other senses though… He hears Eddie's shaking breath and how he's silently hissing when Buck's hands go under his shirt trying to get it off, to get more skin to sense.

Buck knows there are scars, he saw them, actually, plenty of times, but there's something intriguing to investigate with eyes closed. To have this sense of Eddie's skin on his fingertips, to feel how Eddie's trembling and shaking, how he shivers under the lightest touch, everything.

It all feels like a very sick fantasy in a good way when Eddie's palms run up his abdomen slowly - what the actual hell, Eddie, why are you so slow? - pulling off his t-shirt.

'Fuck, i need to see you…', - it's more like an exhale than a normal talking but fuck he needs to see him so badly.

And Eddie smiles, his voice really changes when he smiles: 'I don't think so. It's more…interesting'.

Buck actually isn't sure it's interesting. He thinks it's like a torture. Pleasure, of course, but torture.

His heart is beating so loudly, like a drum orchestra because it's Eddie. Like, really it's Eddie. It's Eddie kisses him, it's Eddie mutters something in spanish Buck just can't hear properly.

He exhales noisily when Eddie's biting his neck and moans, arching on the couch, when Eddie's tongue draws a line from his neck to chest, repeating those Lichtenberg figures Eddie just can't unsee.

There will be fingermarks on his back tomorrow and whole 118 will see it - and that's the last relatively reasonable thought that comes to Buck's head before it is all displaced by his feelings and Eddie-Eddie-Eddie-Eddie….

***

Tagging:

@krayfish @blackberry-l @kaseysgirl86-blog @brightlyprofiling @idealuk @1stbonesfan @angryangeldreamsalad @criminally-obsessed @amelia9bl @silvergold-swirl @itsamaaaadworld @vasudharaghavan @livingonzenstreet @nothingbutmande @spanishrose6 @sunflowerdiaiz @fanf98 @logicloveandsense @simply-mev @ronordmann @still--not--over--merlin @z02fl @vanjalen @thatshroomintheforest @steadfastsaturnsrings @cagdahl @newtalot @dreamforrest @pirrusstuff @fionaswhvre @911-on-abc

[thistableforone]

piling up here some tag games I’ve been tagged in ✨ pt. 3

🌼 this picrew chain - tagged by @occhi-verdi-come-il-mare

i'm so late to this but!! very cute

🌸 5 songs you’re loving right now - tagged by @julesnichols

i'm afraid these are mostly in italian rn ahah

too sweet (hozier)

considera (colapesce e dimartino)

so american (olivia rodrigo)

euforia (annalisa)

modì (gio evan)

ragazzi fuori (clara)

rocketship (llunr)

aria (margherita vicario)

picture you (mumford and sons)

ted lasso anthem (marcus mumford). always.

🌻 15 questions, 15 friends - tagged by @julesnichols

are you named after anyone? nope, no one. my dad just liked the name

when was the last time you cried? i don't remember clearly. maybe last week?

do you have kids? no thank you

what sports do you play/have played? i don't play anything currently, but i used to play volleyball when i was a kid (+ swimming for a couple of months)

do you use sarcasm? not much

what is the first thing you notice about people? the general vibe really, and if they smile or not.

what is your eye color? brown

scary movies or happy endings? i don't watch scary movies!! definitely happy endings :)

any talents? mhh... writing? taking nice pictures? but those don't really feels like talents...

where were you born? north of italy!!

do you have any pets? i have two babies (my cats)

how tall are you? 1,67 m more or less

favorite subject in the school? math, but at the end of high school i really loved literature, english, politics and IT, too.

dream job? as someone said, i simply don't dream of working :)

🏵️ 20 questions for fic writers - tagged by @beckstraordinary

How many works do you have on AO3? 20, a very nice round number!!

What's your total AO3 word count? apparently around 198,713

What fandoms do you write for? i currently write for the ted lasso fandom only

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? Breaking down (the walls) - hope you'll be safe (in the arms of another) - Touch me (like you do) - we should just kiss (like real people do) - no one's keeping score

Do you respond to comments? yes i do!!

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? i think i only wrote one and it was a ff about maura isles

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? it's rather hard to compare happy endings, so i can't choose

Do you get hate on fics? it hasn't happened yet

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? yes i do, that's how i started basically (i miss it a bit, recently i've not been in the mood much). i'd say that my smut is... unnecessarily long and emotional. i fully believe it's a great way to understand who a character is.

Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? i wrote two - one was a castle x rizzoli and isles crossover about kate and maura together in college that i dnf-ed at a certain point. the second was this supergirl x rizzoli and isles crossover i'm still very fond of. i had so much fun writing that, and i still think it makes perfect sense :)

Have you ever had a fic stolen? not that i know of

Have you ever had a fic translated? yes, very recently!!

Have you ever co-written a fic before? no, i don't think i could

What’s your all time favorite ship? i don't think i have one above all. i was really into caskett (castle) and supercorp (supergirl), but now i've grown past both, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? i have a supercorp wip that i thought was very cute

What are your writing strengths? i think... construction of the line as a whole, if that makes sense. i try to make the words flow well and sound nice together. also dialogue, showing emotions through little gestures, intimacy, and lately introspection.

What are your writing weaknesses? i can't for the life of me write descriptions. of anything. i hate adjectives. i also get hyperfocused on the dynamic between two characters and refrain from including anyone else. oh also worldbuilding/background stuff... i just don't care.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? i don't think i've ever included it. but if i had to, i would do it with my own language.

First fandom you wrote for? only italians will get this one... un medico in famiglia. i still remember the first time inspiration hit.

Favourite fic you’ve written? definitely you said yes as I said please. i'm so proud of it and i was really inspired!!

no pressure tags, for whichever game you want to participate in!! @occhi-verdi-come-il-mare @rancoreedisprezzo @julesnichols @calicomarie11 @fuddlewuddle

[rosemaryandarsenic]

You need Gareth requests babe??? How about Some shower intimacy? Washing his pretty hair for him? God I’ve got it BAD for this guy

The way you always have my back with this 💕😭 I’m literally down so bad. I had a dream with Gwydion in it last night lmao and I can’t stop thinking about it.

Notes/Warnings: This was supposed to be fluff but I'm smitten so there's smut (sorry not sorry lmao). Minors DNI! Mentions oral sex and scary movies. Cursing! Female reader and Gareth are 20/21 with their own place, just trying to make it in the world <;3

Gareth twisted and turned in the driver's seat of his car, sweating from the summer heat as he searched anxiously for his car keys. He’d literally just had them in his hands and now they were nowhere to be found. The heat made him anxious, and driving made him anxious, he wanted to go inside and lay on the floor and not have to think about a single thing ever again but he couldn’t. He had to find his damn car keys and drive to work. The only thing keeping him remotely sane was the knowledge that he’d see you when his shift was over. You’d promised to be waiting for him when he came home and he knew you would be - that is if he could find his fucking keys. Finally, his fingers brushed warm metal between the seats and he pulled, the keys clanking against the car's consul as he sighed. Today had been too long and it wasn’t even noon yet. 

His shift at the theater was slow, it being a Tuesday. The summer heat had everyone at home, with no interest in driving anywhere even if there was AC. He swept stale popcorn and wiped down chairs for what felt like years until the sound of his watch beeping made him jump. 8pm, thirty minutes left, time to close up shop. He quickly locked up, checked the registers and slid the drawers into the safe, practically sprinting to the parking lot. He smoked on the ride home, windows rolled down and music blaring. Tomorrow was his off day and he was free, for twenty four hours, headed home to his sweet girl in their new apartment. 

As he swung through the front door, you jumped up from the kitchen table, dropping the magazine in your hands. He smiled at your grin and the paper clippings littered around you - a stack of coupons and a grocery list neatly arranged in the middle of the chaos. 

“Hi baby,” you said in a sing song voice, tip toeing to him and wrapping your arms around his neck. “I missed you today.”

He kissed you softly, “I missed you too.” 

“How was work?” You mumbled, still holding him close to you, nuzzling your face into his shirt and wrinkling your nose at the synthetic butter smell.

“Boring,” he laughed, “only had two people come in today for License to Drive.” 

“I can’t believe they’d rather watch that than Killer Klowns,” you shake your head, making him laugh again. “Imagine Chrissy Cunningham’s reaction to Jojo.” 

He shakes his head, curls sticking to his forehead from sweat and chuckles, “I still can’t believe Jason took her to see Bloodsport. I had three people complain about her screaming so loud.” He huffed. 

You roll your eyes, smirking at the picture. 

“Oh!” You exclaim, “I almost forgot, your mom called this afternoon. She needs us to watch Rosie on Saturday so she can pick Sarah up from summer camp.”

Gareth groaned. He loves his little sisters but he couldn’t wait until Rosie was old enough to stay home alone for a few hours. She’s 8, and Sarah is 16 now, so she usually stayed with her. It had been easier when he didn’t work long hours, before you had gotten your job as a waitress, but you both made it work. Greg, his step-dad, traveled for business now so he wasn’t home as often as he used to be. His mom, who also worked, relied on the two of you for extra help with him being gone. It was decent parenting practice for two young twenty something’s, but he hated having less time with you under any kind of circumstances.

You gave him a knowing look, and planted a kiss on his cheek. “It won’t be for more than a few hours, my love. We’ll still have all night to ourselves.” You winked, and he blushed. 

Pulling you into his arms he murmured, “Still not enough time with you,” planting kisses on your forehead. “Need all of it.” 

You giggle, playfully grabbing his face and pulling him to you till your noses touched. 

“And what will you do if that’s not possible, hmm?” 

He played along, looking serious. “Well I’ll just have to make sure I use every moment then.” 

He grabbed your hands, taking control of your limbs and walked you back to the table. Clumsily he grabs the scissors you’d been using and comically tries to cut one out while still holding your hand. “Looks like we have to finish cutting these out together.”

You laugh loudly, swatting him away as he feigns being offended. 

“My beautiful girlfriend doesn’t want my help?” He throws a hand to his chest, raising his eyebrows. “Rude.” 

“So rude, I know.” You giggle, running a hand through his hair. He leans into it, the touch of your fingers feeling divine. The blood flow goes from his cheeks to his pants as you scratch his scalp, tugging a little at his hair and kissing his jaw. 

“I have an idea.” You say, smiling up at him. 

“And what’s that?” He replies, eyes closed as he continues to let you play with his hair. 

“Since we’re savoring every minute, why doesn’t Gareth the Great join me in the shower?” You ask, a mischievous look on your face. 

“That sounds like a great idea.” He smiles back, eyes open now, and scoops you into his arms carrying you towards the bathroom. 

The tiny apartment isn’t much, but you both have managed to make it homey and personal. The street lamps outside shine through the cheap blinds onto a worn out sofa (compliments of the local thrift store). Dried flowers adorn the tv stand, Gareth’s VHS collection organized neatly against the wall on wire shelves next to a stereo and stacks of tapes. There are unframed posters littering the walls, along with Polaroids and drug store prints of family photos. The bedroom is littered with clothes, your waitress uniform on the back of a chair and your old desk piled with papers and notebooks. The kitchen walls hold mugs and pans, pancake mix and macaroni boxes tucked away on the counter with mail and old receipts. The bathroom, where Gareth places you on the tiny counter near the sink, is a faded cream color. One of your paintings (a landscape of lovers lake) and mismatched towels hang next to the old tub, now doubling as a shower. He pulls the pink plastic curtain to the side, letting the water run warm before turning on the shower head and reaching for you. 

You lean into him, slightly sleepy as you relax, letting him gently pull off your worn out band shirt and pajama shorts. You tug away his uniform, sliding off the counter and gathering the crumpled clothes, tossing them into a hamper in the hall. He’s watching you lazily, eyes roaming over your naked body. That’s one thing about him that’s never changed. He’s seen you naked hundreds of times, I mean you’ve been dating for two years now, but he still looks at you the same way he did the first time. A sweet smile covers his face, his pretty hazel eyes roaming over you as he pulls you in for another kiss. 

“You look pretty today,” he whispers, brushing your hair out of your face and wrapping an arm around your waist. 

“Thank you,” you whisper and kiss his nose, pulling away to climb into the shower. 

The warm water feels heavenly on your skin, soothing the ache in your legs from standing all day. You tilt your face up and let it rain over you as you feel him climb in behind you, pulling the curtain closed. Gentle hands rub the tension out of your shoulders as you rinse your hair. 

“Let me do it.” He says, lathering shampoo in his hands before pulling you out of the stream of water. He carefully scrubs at your scalp, brow furrowed in concentration as he makes sure to get the grime off you. You relish the way he’s pressed up against you while rinsing your hair, pausing only to plant tiny kisses on your neck and jaw as he works away the days stress. 

“Tell me about your day, pretty girl.” He says, running conditioner through your hair and working out any knots.

“Also boring,” you murmur, “just the regulars today. Dan said Billy’s back in town. Came in last night before close with some new girl.” 

He nods, listening as he grabs your favorite body wash. 

“Got $15 in tips though, so not a bad day. Mornings are nice because it’s cooler so we still get the usual rush.” 

He squirts the bottle onto your chest, getting too much on you and you chide him. 

“Hey, don’t waste that, it’s my favorite.” 

“I would never,” he smirks, rubbing his palms on your chest as he starts to wash your body. He knows what he’s doing, and you let him do it, squirming as you feel an ache in your core. Tease. 

You finish rinsing off, feeling a little light-headed, and pull him under the stream of water. 

“Your turn lover boy.” You smile, watching him lean into the water and close his eyes. He’s beautiful really, broad shoulders and soft skin. You admire the way the water cascades over him, catching on the happy trail on his torso and pooling at his feet. Lathering shampoo in your hands, you carefully run your fingers through his hair, massaging his scalp. Free from sweat and buildup, his curls twist into wild shapes as you scrub away at him. He hums softly at your touch, letting you rinse away the soap with agile hands. He loves it when you touch him, especially when you play with his hair. You’re the only one allowed to do it, and you take advantage of that frequently by touching his hair whenever you can. 

“Lean back for me honey,” you say, the last of the soap running down the drain as rinse his hair, careful to make sure it doesn’t get tangled. He leans in to kiss you before you can put any conditioner in his hair, and you let him. A little moan escapes your mouth as bites your lip a bit, hands roaming down your ass and thighs. 

“Look whos already so wet for me.” He jokes as he pulls away, letting you put conditioner in his hair. You slap him lightly on the cheek as a response, continuing your work. As you get to washing his body, you pretend not to notice the semi-hard on he has going on. Instead, you tease him, getting down on your knees to wash his thighs. Everything about him is attractive to you but his thighs make you absolutely feral, they’re broad and muscled, with a soft layer of chub. Looking at them makes you want to bury your face into them, or ride them into oblivion. You roam your hands on his inner thigh, smirking as you get closer to his crotch, his dick getting more pink and hard by the second. 

“Need some help?” You ask, voice husky, as you drag the tip of your finger along his erection. He whines a little, nodding, and you kiss his thigh. Situating yourself comfortably, you use your soapy hands to grasp his cock, slowly pumping as you get another whimper from him. You look up, letting the sudsy water drip down on you. You watch him happily as he fists your hair in his hand. It’s nothing complicated, just a little fun while you bathe, but to him it feels pornographic. The soapy water slides along your boobs as they rise and fall from your breathing, you staring up at him with doe eyes, your hands grasped around him. He’s trembling a bit, feeling particularly sensitive and you seem to know it as you pump him faster, eliciting groans from his lips. All it takes is a little kiss from you, on his tip, and he’s cumming all over your face and chest, cock throbbing. 

“Jesus Christ, sweetheart.” He groans, grasping onto your shoulders as he spills his seed all over you. 

You giggle, gripping at his thighs and enjoying the way he’s practically collapsing into your arms. You stand carefully, legs a bit numb from your position and you rinse off again, letting him help you and smother you with more kisses. He shuts the water off and grabs a towel, tossing it over your head and rubbing. You peek out from under the cloth with a giggle as he lifts it off you, moving to your body. Your hair is flying everywhere now and your checks are blushed. 

“All done.” He says, smacking your ass lightly and you step out of the shower, watching him dry himself off next. He’s so pretty.

[fearhims3lf]

TIMING: A few weeks ago

PARTIES: @vanishingreyes @fearhims3lf

SUMMARY: Mateo invites Xóchitl over for some homemade pozole, and the two discover some scary truths.

WARNINGS: None

The stew simmered quietly, the meat sizzling in the neighboring pan as Mateo hummed to the music playing from his speakers. Angel, just a few feet away, lay in her bed, sleeping soundly. Wicked’s Rest had never felt more like home, but the ache and longing for Temple was still persistent. He took a deep breath and exhaled, moving on as quickly as he could to focus on making the red sauce for the stew.

He threw everything in, letting it all mix together with a press of a button to bring the blender to life. A knock at the door took Mateo’s attention for a moment, and he quickly called for his new pet. “Angel, c’mere.” Her tendrils writhed, moving toward him with care. Mateo smiled adoringly, taking a few extra moments with Angel before sending her to her room. He couldn’t exactly let Xóchitl see her, could he? Or anyone, really. Next best thing was giving her her own room so she could sleep soundly with plenty of enrichment to keep her busy.

“Okay…” He trailed off, wiping his hands on his apron before walking to the door and opening it with a grin. “About time you showed up.” A tease, really. Xóchitl was actually on time, but Mateo could never help himself when it came to things like that. “Pozole isn’t done yet, but you can make yourself at home. You know the drill.” Walking away to the stove, Mateo trusted Xóchitl to close the door and get settled in while he finished dinner. It’d become a sort of routine for them, one that made him question a few things, but he wasn’t the type to linger. 

She just wanted to go and get food, and so what if maybe she felt a little safer around Mateo? There wasn’t anything worth analyzing in that, other than the fact that he was fantastic to sleep with, and they’d developed something sort of routine, even, and Xóchitl certainly didn’t need that, but she also wasn’t complaining. Having someone else make her food, especially food that made her think of home, wasn’t bad in any way, shape, or form.

“Well, I’m sorry for the inconvenience, I’ll make it up to you later.” She wrapped her fingers around his shirt, pulling him close before giving him a small bop on the nose, before dropping her hand from his shirt. “I’ve got my shoes off, and I feel plenty comfortable. I could use a drink, though.” Xóchitl hummed, a smirk (that she probably hoped was alluring) crossing over her lips. 

She nodded. “I’m already in something cute,” Xóchitl pressed her tongue against the back of her teeth. “How much longer until it’s ready, do you think? I can be patient, though, it’s well worth it, that much I know.”

“Yeah, you better be sorry, ma. But you’re right. You are already in something cute.” Mateo smirked, confident and playful, enjoying the tease Xóchitl had in return. It was enough to keep himself from recoiling at the intimacy of it all. Hiding behind stolen glances and good old fashioned bullying always made it easier to believe he wasn’t feeling a bit more than just friendship. 

“I’ll get started on that drink. The usual, right?” The mare began a dance he knew well, moving to his bar and pouring everything he needed to make Xóchitl her favorite drink. “We got about another twenty…thirty minutes or so. Plenty of time to just…” Trailing off with a semi-awkward smirk, Mateo looked toward the couch and then back to his bar, pouring himself a whiskey to sip on. “Whatever you want, really.”

“I’d say you’d need to get your eyesight checked if you didn’t already think I was in something cute. Which goes for pretty much whatever I wear…” So maybe she was being a bit too cocky about all of this, but it was easy to relax around Mateo, and Xóchitl wasn’t going to focus too much on that, or whatever that might have implied.

“The usual sounds perfect,” she cooed, just slightly, following his gaze to the couch. “I mean, I do like lying down on the couch…” Xóchitl bit her lip. “But we could do anything you’d like. You are the host, after all, I’m happy to go with the flow.” Which she was, usually, but perhaps, on some level, even more with him, and people like him, because she felt comfortable. “You know if you let me have my way at least some of that time will be spent with my lips on yours.” Flirting was easy and comfortable.

“Whatever.” Mateo rolled his eyes in jest, taking his drink and plopping himself on the sofa with a smile that faded slowly. By the time Xóchitl placed herself in her usual spot, the mare rotated the glass of whiskey in his hands, pondering. There was plenty of time to have a little fun, but for some reason, for the first time in what seemed like…ever, Mateo didn’t feel like moving to his home’s favorite spots. The bedroom, or the couch, or as Xóchitl had said it before, the walls. He, oddly, wanted to talk, but his voice wouldn’t comply. Instead, he sat there quietly, idly rotating his glass for a minute or two before snapping himself back into focus. 

“Sorry, ma.” He cleared his throat and grabbed the remote to flip on the television to keep himself from fully reacting to what Xóchitl had said. It automatically turned to a music channel that was pre-programmed. Much to his relief, the music was something lively and a bit distracting. Though it wasn’t enough to keep Mateo from awkwardly tensing up when he looked back at Xóchitl. She was his friend, and they’d already agreed that developing a crush wasn’t an option. Hooking up only. And the occasional night over with some cooked meals, too. But none of that meant anything to Xóchitl like it did to Mateo, did it? He didn’t think it was possible. It wasn’t. Not for a guy like him. Not when he hadn’t even told her exactly who he was. She only knew a certain version of Mateo. It was him, truly him, but if she knew the rest, would she stay? Not even as a girlfriend, but as a friend at all? He didn’t think so. But that didn’t really stop him from blurting out something stupid, with his voice bordering on soft. 

“I like it when your lips are on mine.”

“I – what?” Xóchitl shook her head, jumping just slightly when he turned on the television and some sort of music came on. It was a welcome distraction from where her thoughts kept wandering, kept her from having to rein them quite as frequently. Because maybe she had said something a step too far, being softer rather than the more usual forwardness. Talking about just lips was romantic, she figured, at least to an extent, and that wasn’t what they were. So the music was great, and she let her thoughts be partially carried off and away.

Except then he was responding, and the music was no longer any sort of a good distraction. “We seem to be in agreement on that.” 

She wasn’t even entirely sure what she was doing, but soon enough she found herself sitting on his lap, straddling him, but in a sort of gentle, soft, and wholly-unlike-the-two-of-them way. “This okay?” Xóchitl asked, suddenly shy, suddenly brushing her nose against his, her lips against his. Soft, in trepidation, at first, before more fully, yet still not with the usual urgency that came along with their meetings.

“Do we have to eat?” She pouted, wide-eyed. “I think I like where I’m sitting right now.” She also liked how soft his gaze was, how he smiled secretly as a new song came on. A smile that wasn’t for show or anything other than appreciation of the music. “But I also like everything you make, so I can be persuaded. Probably.”

“Yeah.” He whispered, “It’s okay. I like it.” I like you. Was what he wanted to say, but he thought better of it knowing his place. It wasn’t an uncommon occurrence for Xóchitl to find herself on top. She was there so often because that was one of Mateo’s favorite views. But when he looked up like he had done many times before, her eyes were different, and so were his. Then, when she became playful and entirely way too soft for what they were supposed to be, Mateo smiled with a bit of apprehension, unsure whether he should continue to let himself live in the dream. After all, he was, and always would be, a nightmare.

“This is different.” Mateo muttered, ripping off the bandaid and forcing himself awake. “Um…I, uh…” A bewildered sigh escaped him, and it was all he could do to not back out of what needed to be done. “It’s been feeling different—to me. I don’t know. I’m fucking this all up, but if I don’t say nothing, it’s all gonna go to shit even worse so…” With his eyes tightened shut, Mateo leaned his head back onto the headrest of the couch and groaned. He didn’t know how to word it all, or whether or not he should just be blunt. It was the much simpler route, but it was faster, too. Which meant he thought he was on the brink of seeing Xóchitl walk out the door. 

“Sorry.”

“Glad you like it.” She looked down at him, her smile once again far more gentle than the usual sort of look that she gave him. His look almost seemed to match hers, though, which was as equally terrifying as it was charming. Xóchitl enjoyed the feeling that this particular position gave her, and as much as she loved ( – or rather enjoyed – loved seemed too strong of a word) looking up at Mateo, there was a certain feeling of satisfaction that came with sitting in a position of power.

And he had said that he liked women in positions of power, hadn’t he?

“It’s –” her words caught in her throat. “You’re – I – it’s. Yeah.” Xóchitl wasn’t sure what to say, or if Mateo even wanted her to respond, so instead she ran her hands up and under his shirt, pressed her lips against his. “Let me take care of you, alright?” Except that he was apologizing, and she pulled away, pulled up the shoulder of her top, and looked at him in intense confusion. “Why are you sorry?” She did her best to have it not sound overly harsh, or even slightly judgemental, but she wasn’t sure how well she did in succeeding at that. “Do you want me to stop?” Her lips remained centimeters away from his, and she could smell him so easily, and it was such a comforting smell that she nearly winced.

“You don’t have to take care of me.” He shook his head, getting a little distracted by the hands trailing over his skin, and the pressure on his lap. How was he supposed to think in those conditions? Mateo swallowed a groan down and looked to the ceiling to avoid Xóchitl’s gaze a little longer. There was no turning back anymore. He’d begun opening the can of worms, and they were creeping out before the lid was even fully removed. 

“It’s not that, Xó. It’s not…” Mateo absentmindedly traced patterns on Xóchitl’s skin, no real rhyme or reason to the movements. He just liked her warmth and wanted to soak up as much of it as he could before he ruined it all. Because villains didn’t get the girl, did they? Murderers weren’t meant to love without horrible consequences, and Xóchitl didn’t deserve that. Pain was inevitable, a crucial part of life, but Mateo didn’t want to be the cause. He much rather bring out her smile and laughter. That’s what he was after, all that time. He was going to miss seeing it. There was no point in beating around the bush anymore.

“I fucked up.” His entire body tensed, and he rubbed at this scalp a few times as he forced himself to keep going. “I, um…you’re not…” Come on, Mateo, just say it. “I know we weren’t supposed to do more than fuck, but I, uh, yeah. I fucked up.” That was clear, right?

“But I like taking care of people.” She didn’t like that her voice had turned whiny, but she also found herself wholly unable to do just about anything other than whine. His whole body was cold – it always was – but she didn’t mind. She’d never minded – or asked about it, but it wasn’t like his being cold (physically, at least) had any significant effect on their arrangement. 

Except then he was looking away from her and saying other things and those made Xóchitl only want to focus on the physical, because none of what he was saying made any sort of sense given what they were. What they’d explicitly agreed to. Besides, she’d seen how people looked at him in public, and though she was not even the slightest bit in doubt about her good looks (not to the point of self-centeredness, but just a healthy appreciation of reality), but the way people looked at Mateo had a certain sort of hunger to it, and she didn’t want to think that she’d switch him off of wanting to flirt with everyone.

Unless he was like her – though she still didn’t know this for certain, either – and could become infatuated with more than one person at once. It gave Xóchitl a headache, having suddenly gone from actively avoiding friends (to still end up with a few) to having multiple people she cared about, and people who’d gone past just –

Fucking. Yes, that was what they’d agreed to. It was an abrasive word in some ways, but fit. Energetic, thrilling, but then over. Except then she’d started staying over, and she liked his bed, and Xóchitl liked being in a bed with someone else, and … she needed to focus on what he was saying, though her hands hadn’t been able to stop themselves from running along his chest. “How – what – I’m a ditz right now, Mateo, I’m – you’re going to have to clarify, so I don’t run off with some assumption. Some assumption I might think, but it’s –” she pulled her own shirt over her head, and then sat there, frowning for a moment. “I - instinct.” Was all she said.

How much clearer could he get? Albeit, the statement was maybe, purposely, accidentally vague. After all, what was the concept of thinking anyway? “Ma…” He trailed off. Thinking was difficult, near impossible, when pretty, warm hands were dragging across his chest. And it was only going to get worse with Xóchitl sitting there with no shirt on and a pout on her face. Mateo was beginning to lose his nerve. If he had one at all in the first place.

“You ain’t a ditz. I’m just…not being as clear as I should be. I’ve never done this before and-and we agreed, ya know? We agreed to not…do this.” He covered his face with his hands and groaned, leaving a few moments of silence between the pair. When he finally broke it, Mateo returned his gaze to meet Xóchitl’s. He was memorizing her, scanning every feature he could to commit her to memory. Her presence had been a comfort on more than one occasion, and fun in every single one. Sometimes he’d watch her sleep when she talked during a dream, never daring to feed on them. In fact, when she stirred, many times, Mateo would lull her back to slumber with a careful touch. She always rose in the morning looking fully rested, much to his relief. He was going to miss that. 

Finding his nerve, Mateo swallowed thickly with his eyes shut. With a final deep breath, his brown eyes met hers, soft and anxious, and he leaned forward to give Xóchitl what he thought was a final kiss. It was thoughtful and slow, a tenderness Mateo thought impossible to produce. Pulling back, the mare sighed. “I caught those damn feelings. For you.” He confessed, adjusting his seat uncomfortably as the truth hung in the air. As he waited for Xóchitl to walk away from his mistake. “I like you. I’m sorry.”

Her distraction seemed to be doing its job, but then Mateo wasn’t even totally focusing on her and Xóchitl hated that she cared about that beyond her usual craving for attention (so maybe her parents dressing her up as Tinkerbell when she was three made some kind of sense), how she didn’t want him to look at her with anything but desire, but desire laced with care, and she couldn’t focus on that right now. Focusing on his body and how much she wanted to kiss it was much easier.

“We agreed.” Xóchitl echoed his words. His gaze on hers felt almost more intimate than them being completely naked in bed had been. Which was strange, because she would’ve expected that sex would have been the most vulnerable a person could have been – yet in the same train of thought, she had to acknowledge that sex wasn’t too vulnerable for her, because it was somewhere where she felt comfortable and incredibly at ease. This? Not so much. She slept easier around Mateo, and she couldn’t totally explain why. She liked waking up to his breakfasts, enjoyed talking with him until she drifted off to sleep, impressed by how he never seemed to get tired before she did.

“You don’t – don’t say sorry.” She kissed him back, blinking rapidly, trying to process what he’d said. Feelings. Which they weren’t supposed to do, full stop. Getting close meant bad things could happen, and she was already close enough just by staying over as often as she did. “Feelings are natural – it’s – it’s stupid to make rules like that, right? Lo siento, Mateo – I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Xóchitl steadied her breath, wondered if she should move, but instead brought her hand to his jaw, kissed him again. “I like you too. A lot. I feel safe with you, and you’re one of the first people I think of when I want to share something good that happened – I – but I’m not – I’ve never done relationships. It’s not – I don’t know if I’m girlfriend material.”

Mateo raised his brows slowly with surprise, an unsteady feeling circling his stomach and twisting it. He kept people at a distance, molded an image that held his most genuine traits while withholding the messier side of himself. Killing people as an undead creature of nightmares wasn’t something just anyone could accept. It was just easier to keep those things hidden, especially when there were hunters out there trying to kill people like the mare. But Xóchitl was no hunter, and whether Mateo wanted to admit it or not, she had become important to him. So few people could make him consider such a leap, but she was definitely one of them. He knew better than anyone that the truth couldn’t stay hidden forever. If Xóchitl liked Mateo back too, then there was only a matter of time before she discovered every part of him. 

That idea terrified him, but the possibility of never getting a chance at all scared him more. He didn’t know how that made him feel, and it didn’t really matter. Not anymore. Xóchitl had confirmed the impossible, and Mateo let himself take on a softer disposition. Like he always did around her. She just rarely had a chance to see it because he was always helping her back to sleep. “I’ve never done this shit either, Xó. I mean, you saw how long it took me to just say anything at all.” Mateo paused, looking at Xóchitl softly and taking her hand in comfort. If anyone didn’t have the capability to be any sort of worthy material, it was Mateo. At least, that was his opinion. What came out though, was a reply far more thoughtful and sincere. Maybe a little hopeful, too. “I think…I think we get to decide what that material is.” He shrugged, “Like, I decide what makes the material for my girlfriend, and you decide for your boyfriend. Everything else is just…” With another shrug, he locked eyes with Xóchitl, stroking his thumb over the back of her hand. “Nerves. You know?” Mateo would like to think he did, but truthfully, he was completely lost and acting from the thing in his chest he reserved for his family.

She’d distinctly made an effort to not get too close to anybody. It had already failed with a few, but that had been all friendship-adjacent. This was something entirely different, wholly new, and completely strange. Xóchitl liked the way that he made her feel, even if he didn’t know everything about her. Even if, despite all the complicated feelings that arose whenever she thought about him – or them together – she didn’t know if she wanted him to know everything, because maybe knowing everything would shatter some sort of illusion that he had of her. She did figure that whatever his vision of who she was was better than she actually was. She didn’t want to shatter that view that he might’ve had of her, because maybe (or more than maybe), she liked the fact that he might have thought of her highly.

“Fair enough.” She giggled, “it did take you a while to say that. I thought you were just going to ask me to do something extra strange in the bedroom. Which, still not opposed, but I – I like this.” She nodded between them, “this is nicer. Softer, ‘teo.” Xóchitl let him take her hand and she rubbed her thumb against the back of his hand. “I – yeah.” She didn’t especially enjoy feeling at a loss for words, but she did, and she couldn’t help herself, now, and Mateo had been honest with her and wasn’t she supposed to show him some honesty in return? “That’s true. Yeah. We can decide. Because fuck the norms of whatever society expects boyfriends and girlfriends to be.” His thumb was on the back of her hand now and it was maddeningly distracting, so much so that she had to close her eyes for a moment. “Yeah – nerves. I – same. I’m – those are a thing.” She opened her eyes and kissed him again. “So – I – wait, is your food going to burn? Not that I’m even really thinking about that now, but I’d prefer to not be the cause of your house catching fire, or your hard work going to waste.” She sat back a moment. “That does mean I have to get off, and I don’t like the idea of that much at all.”

Relief washed over Mateo, and despite not needing air, he was greedy for it with a deep and calming inhale. He sighed, thankful that he wasn’t the only one stumbling over his words. It was nice to not be alone, and to have feelings returned. He’d never been proven wrong like that before, even found that it wasn’t so bad to not be right. “Yeah.” Mateo agreed with a nod and a smile, “Fuck norms. All of ‘em.” With a chuckle, he moved his hands up Xóchitl’s arms, trailing his way to her shoulders and down her back. He’d long forgotten about the pozole, but knowing himself, Mateo had already set the stove to an appropriate temperature in case the two got way too distracted. 

“Left that baby on simmer. You and I tend to…” He bobbed his head back and forth, making a playful face at Xóchitl. “You know. Time usually gets away from us. But I mean, who says you have to get off?” Bouncing his brows, Mateo placed his hands firmly on Xóchitl’s hips and rose from the sofa. She was secure in his arms, her face close enough for several more pecks to her lips and cheeks. He opted to focus on the walk to the kitchen instead, placing her on the counter next to the stove. “Hmm…” Mateo took a few sniffs from the pluming steam, humming with satisfaction at the smell. It was ready to eat, and he clapped his hands together before looking back to Xóchitl to give her his full attention once more. 

“With confessions outta the way, do you wanna pour some bowls and…” His smile faltered at the idea of discussion, knowing he’d likely have to delve into the subject of emotions, of which he avoided often. But, if Mateo was allowing himself to feel something more than lust for someone, didn’t that mean he could possibly be evolving in other places, too? He swallowed nervously, sighing. “Talk. We should probably talk…more. You know?”

His hands were trailing around her back and it, once again, distracted her from any other thoughts she might’ve had. It was a certain delightful distraction. “Fuck the norms.” She repeated, once again. Xóchitl didn’t like to consider herself someone easily at a loss for words, but right now she very much was.

“That’s true, we do tend to get distracted. I’m impressed we’re still talking given that I have my shirt off, but…” Xóchitl shook her head. She was deflecting again, and she knew that she was, even if she didn’t want to admit it. Except then he was picking her up and she didn’t even have time to fully comment on what was going on before it was already happening and she had to admit that it wasn’t so bad at all. In fact, there was a certain sort of delicate intimacy to it all, and that made her both completely calm and utterly unnerved. It was also endearing to watch Mateo move around the kitchen, and she loved how at home he looked, and how his smile looked, and how lovely his humming was.

Then he’d turned back to her and she did nearly a double take, trying to register all that was going on, trying to jolt herself out of whatever half-trance she’d been in. “What, you aren’t going to feed me while I’m shirtless on your kitchen counter?” Xóchitl grinned, another eyebrow raised. “But … yeah. We should do that. Bowls and stuff and also talking.”

Mateo laughed at Xóchitl’s remark, looking at the pot and then back to her. “You want me to feed you hot-ass caldo while you’re shirtless? Isn’t that, like, how you get burned?” Still, he grabbed the ladle and the dish towel hanging from the oven handle. Slowly, he filled the ladle’s bowl and planted it carefully onto the towel to eliminate the possibility of dripping or spilling onto Xóchitl’s skin. “Here, ya big baby.” There was a wink added to the end of the statement, accompanied by Mateo’s signature shit-eating grin. 

“Say ‘ah…’” He tilted the stew into her mouth and arched a playful brow before placing everything aside. “There. Happy?” She did, at least by Mateo’s observation, and he smiled even bigger in return with a soft tug to his lips. There was a terrifying nature to the entire encounter, but it didn’t seem so bad in the moment and it didn’t make his smile faster that time. Mateo could let himself enjoy what they had, if only for a little while. Ruining things was in his nature, but he’d take great care with the fall and accept whatever comes. 

“Come on.” He kissed Xóchitl one more time, lingering his lips above hers for a few seconds before helping her down from the counter to get to work on their bowls. “Go sit down. I’ll get the food and drinks together, and then join you.”

[electrivolt]

@rockheadcd​ asked : He's always been the more frequent when it came to physical contact, or at least of this variety. He'd consider it intimacy, given Volkner had to have trusted him significantly to even allow him to do this essentially unprovoked. Of course, there's simply certain things ( or lack thereof ) that don't escape his attention. Roark's paid attention to his tells and it's either endearing or it's obsessive, and he can't deny the accusation of either—it's just necessary, and.. well, is it weird to learn how somebody worked? It shouldn't have been, right?

Roark doesn't particularly have any explanation for the urge that overwhelms his hands as he so deliberately crawls one of them under Volkner's shirt, fingertips brushing along still soft skin ( it's maybe a benefit of being a shut-in ), running them over his ribs. Anyone was bound to feel a little self-conscious about themselves once in awhile, but with all of the context Roark has, it's not as simple as that.

A pause. Then, he carefully does it again, tuscan appearing as if they're deliberating, evaluating the haptic feedback. The tips of his fingers dips slightly between his ribs ( ah.. ), and Roark's expression soon softens considerably, opting to bring his hand to the very bottom rung, hand conforming to a delicate curve and gently rubs his thumb against bone.

He knows, Volkner. There's no reason to hide.

"It's been a rough couple of weeks, hasn't it?" he offers softly, but his voice holds no accusation, no disappointment. It's simply an observation, even if it's an observation he wants to help ease with whatever power he has. "I'll stay tonight. How's that sound?" It's his way of saying he's here for Volkner to offload some of that gunk that inevitably builds., to remind him that he's still got a body to take care of and he doesn't have to do it alone—to put a little sunlight behind the clouds. It's the you may be upset with yourself, but I'm certainly not, so please don't worry.

There was that telltale moment stiffening under touch to say enough on its own already. Yet Volkner doesn’t really move, doesn’t push Roark away or try to take his hands off— doesn’t do anything, really, only lets Roark’s fingers wander and find exactly what he was looking for, what they both knew already would be there. It’s that hesitant yet steady trust he doesn’t really manage to ever bury or let go of entirely, pushing through the doubts that constantly haunt him and plague his mind just to reach for what Roark has to offer.

Funny, how he’s never cared enough to worry about what could be seen of himself until Roark made his way back into his life.

“... Something... something like that, I guess.” The words escape him caught in a soft sigh before he can really think of it, and it’s almost scary just how easily he can get him to admit to such things he would’ve rather be killed over than ever say out loud to anyone else before. It’s scary, and yet Volkner still finds it in him to embrace it, to walk into that sliver of fear that comes with trusting someone with all you have after a lifetime of betrayal and hurt and everything in between, over and over— and to walk into it so willingly and openly, with so little hesitation when it’s such a trust fall, when the slightest mistake or misplaced faith could be his undoing once and for all... well, he did always claim to like putting himself into danger, hasn’t he?

( except he does know, by now, after so many highs and lows and over a year of hell scattered through time— there is no danger in trusting roark, in loving him and letting himself be loved. for once, he can do that and not fear the fall when there will be none. he can be sure of that this time. )

It almost comes out just as instinctively, the immediate denial at Roark’s offer, the thought alone that he’s going to burden him now, that he will be no more than a bother and deadweight and Roark should be doing something else, should be keeping to himself when he can do so much better and be so much happier— somehow, he does put a stop to it all by himself, even when it’s mostly through shoving those thoughts right back into that corner of his mind they crawled out of, reminding himself over and over in his own silence that Roark would never think that, that he would’ve left long ago if he really thought this wasn’t worth it. There had to be something good there, if he still stayed through all this and more, right?

“That... I think I would like that.” It’s finally seeing the sun after so long trapped in his own storm, the warmth of sunlight in his smile and eyes that he so desperately needed. He needed him and his love and care so much more than he could ever lie to himself.

Volkner needed him now, and he was too busy thinking in all hsi exhaustion of how much he loved him to even think of how undeserving he was of this.

( and maybe it was alright, to love and be loved like this, right...? )

[leviathans-watching]

Can I please request mc not thinking. That beel is scary at all. Like mc sees beel as like a big dog that is supposed to be scary but is just a mush. And beel loves it cause mc is always so sweet to him, let’s him take food from their plate and gives him treats they bake cause mc thinks he is just so fucking adorable

mc not thinking beel is scary

includes: beel x/& gn!reader (no pronouns mentioned)

wc: .6k | rated g | m.list

warnings: beel's got some fears of hurting you, cooking & eating, mentions of a knife & cutting board

a/n: what a sweet prompt. i think beel would absolutely adore mc no matter what, and i hope this conveys that message. thanks for requesting! my inbox is open to chat, leave feedback, or req, so drop something in anytime!!

please reblog <3

you hum, completely relaxed, stirring the pot in front of you absentmindedly. behind you, beel cuts vegetables, the sound of the knife hitting the cutting board rhythmic and even.

it's a familiar pattern, one the two of you have well established, and you love it, love the peace and intimacy, love being around beel. though when you had first met him, the air fraught with warnings from his brothers, it was very easy to see he was nothing but a big softie.

“here,” beel says, handing you the food he was working with. giving him a smile, you take it, scraping the vegetables into the pot. you’re making soup, an old recipe, one that was perfect for the chilly and rainy weather the devildom had been encased in for the last few days.

“thanks,” you chirp, lowering the heat until it was at a simmer, putting the lid on the pot. “now we wait!” you continued, wiping your hands on the kitchen towel that was hung within reach.

“it already smells good,” beel says appreciatively, sniffing the air. “now what do you want to do?”

“we can watch a movie?” you offer. “your choice.”

beel nods, serious. “i like that idea. i think belphie is in our room so the attic is ripe for the taking.” only you and beel were allowed in the attic whenever you wanted, something you smugly held over the rest of the brothers.

the idea of curling in the nest of blankets and pillows belphie kept sounded wonderful. “let’s do it!” you cheer. “carry me?”

beel hesitates and you pause.

“what’s up? you don’t have to carry me if you don’t want to.”

“i want to!” beel hurriedly assures you. “it's just… i’m worried i’ll hurt you.”

you shrug. “it hasn’t happened yet.”

beel frowns, running a hand through his hair. “not yet. but it could.”

seeing he was really torn up about this, you step forward, putting a hand on his arm. “you’re not going to hurt me, beel. i trust you, and i know how careful you are with me.”

“but it could happen,” beel pressed, and you move your hand from his arm to his cheek, letting him press into your palm.

“but it won’t.”

waiting to see if he wanted to continue to talk about the subject you let him work out his thoughts. it surprises you when he suddenly moves, sweeping you up into his arms.

“beel!” you gasp, laughing. “i meant like a piggyback!”

“i can put you down,” beel offers, but you shake your head, clinging to him harder.

“no way! this is awesome. now c’mon, i’ve got to get something out of my room before we go up to the attic.”

*

beel watches you spoon soup into your mouth, wincing a little at the hot temperature. it’s unbearably cute. your next bit is more careful; you take a moment to blow on the liquid, cooling it, and this time, when you try a bite, all you do is smile.

“it’s so good!” you say after swallowing. “here. try some.”

completely ignoring the bowel of soup in front of beel, you hold out your spoon, a hand cupped under it to make sure you don’t spill. beel leans forward obediently, carefully slurping up some of the spoonful.

“it is good,” he says, and you beam, happily returning to your own meal. beel watches for a moment more, heart swelling in his chest. he loves you, loves being around you, and even if sometimes he can’t help but worry about hurting you, you always know exactly what to do, exactly what to say to assuage his fears.

you were kind, and wonderful, and beel wondered he was so lucky as to be so close to you, but didn’t voice his thoughts, knowing that if he were to, you’d only declare that you were the lucky one out of the two of you, leaving him flustered for a moment.

he didn't understand your unshakable faith in him but he’d be damned if he did something to break it, even if it meant going against his very nature.

leviathans-watching’s work - please do not repost, copy, or claim as your own

[chosonore]

infatuation

infatuation [noun. strong but not usually lasting feelings of love or attraction]

pairing: kamo choso/f!reader

summary: in a spurt of recklessness, you hire an escort to help you learn about relationships and intimacy. what you didn't expect was to fall in love with him along the way. [part of the kamo escorts collab]

wordcount: 23.3k

content/warnings: escorts au, slow burn, language, smut!!!, fluff, soft dom!choso, reader is very oblivious and painfully awkward, awkward firsts, dry humping, handjobs, oral sex (m + f receiving), fingering, uh somewhat public sex, loss of virginity, oral fixation, praise kink, lowercase is intended [VERY VERY UNEDITED]

a/n: hello here it is and finally done!!! i've been sitting at this for a week straight now and while i'm not super happy with it, it would've been a shame to just throw it out tbh. writing improvement is a slow progress after all! i'm dedicating this to @sukirichi who always hyped me up while i was writing this, happily welcomed me to the collab and who always supports my writing and i really appreciate it. thank you, from the bottom of my heart! (argh i have so many cut scenes that i ran out of space for dividers, sorry! hope the reading flow still makes sense though)

"that's what you were so worried about?" nobara looked at you incredulously, as if you grew two heads and asked for her firstborn. "you were scared that guys don't like you because you've never dated anyone?"

you let out an embarrassed whine, pushing at her arm in an attempt to get her to shut up. it wasn't your fault that she jumped to (multiple and very wrong) conclusions when you'd called her and maki, asking them to meet up so you could ask for advice. even maki looked mildly amused, patting your head apologetically. you were well aware of how ridiculous your issue sounds - the topic of dating had always made you anxious. you came from a very wealthy family that always sheltered and protected you from everything. you were their precious little girl after all; your father would rather drop dead than have you mingle with people who didn't treat you well and didn't deserve you. they meant well and it had never been an issue until you moved out to attend university (your parents had acted like you were leaving to travel the world and would never return, when really, you only moved two hours away from home).

even though nobara, maki and you had quickly become friends after you'd met at an event, you were wary to tell them about your background. it worried you, knowing how some people would treat you differently just to get on your good side and use you, so you opted to skirt around it as much as possible. it took you months until you opened up to them when you finally mustered up enough courage and trust to do so. they kept your secrets ever since, always protecting you and looking out for you. you were truly glad to be their friend. the two of them had grown suspicious when you kept declining their invites to join them for parties or to simply go to a bar and you were slowly starting to feel more and more guilty until you couldn't take it anymore and just confessed, asking them for advice.

"so that's why you're nervous even around inumaki," nobara concluded, propping her chin up in thought. "i didn't think your parents would be this protective. do they know that you want to start dating now?"

"no…" you confessed, fidgeting in your seat. "my dad, he um- he means well and usually has a good radar when he says that a guy doesn't deserve me. but i thought it was time to venture out on my own. it's good to have some experience, right?"

"i mean you're not wrong but i don't want you to be asking for advice simply because you feel pressured about dating since everyone else is doing it," maki retorted, giving you a concerned look.

you quickly shook your head. it wasn't that you felt pressured about not having any experience yet. you didn't necessarily want to admit to them that you were a hopeless romantic and liked the idea of being with someone; in the end, it was your own decision to venture. men made you nervous, you didn't know how to act around them and the thought of approaching a stranger by yourself was too scary. maybe it was a better idea to find someone to show you the ropes first, you felt embarrassed about your lack of knowledge and skills and - it wouldn't hurt to have some kind of dating training, right?

"i mean, technically, you could just ask one of the guys to take you out on a fake date. i'm sure megumi wouldn't mind," nobara was already pulling out her phone, making you grabbing her hand in panic and furiously shaking your head.

"i don't want to get them involved in this! it would make things pretty awkward and that's the last thing i would want. isn't there any other solution?" you explained quietly, playing with the hem of the dress. you felt bad for rejecting all their suggestions but you simply didn't want to be a burden to your other friends either.

"well," nobara and maki looked at each other grinning. "you could hire a fake boyfriend."

"really? you can hire tho-"

"escorts, y/n, escorts," nobara pushed her phone over to you, pointing on the screen. frowning, you read the little description. kamo escorts. you'd never thought about hiring someone, let alone knew enough about the topic. judging from nobara's face, she seemed to be well versed and it made you slightly suspicious.

"it's the easiest way for you and you have enough money to pay for their service. it's convenient, you can adjust it to your schedule and they'll send someone who fits your preferences. you choose the spot for your date and they'll make it happen, right? it's perfect and you don't have to worry about getting anyone involved," she explained, tapping at the bottom of the screen. "just give them a call, they'll walk you through the entire process. if you don't like it, you can find someone else or just abort mission."

"what do you mean they'll send someone who fits my preferences?" it did sound like an easy process, almost too easy. something was bound to go wrong, you could feel it. "i don't even know what my preferences are, so how could they possibly-"

"y/n, you might be blind but we are not," maki flicked your forehead playfully, she was more perceptive than you. "if you want, you can call them right now and we'll help you with the preferences, okay? maybe that'll ease your nerves a little."

"now?" you squeaked, eyes widening in horror. you weren't prepared at all; when you invited them over you were only planning to gather advice and then act on it.

"yeah! come on, it'll be fun and it's not like they can see your face," nobara grinned and was already dialing the number, moving away from you agilely before you could snatch the phone out of her hands. you wanted the earth to swallow you, why did they think that this was a good id-

"good evening, thank you for calling kamo escorts. my name is ijichi, how may i help you?" a male voice sounded from the phone, you instinctively dove behind the couch but maki was quicker and pulled you back with one fluid motion. curse her strength and speed.

"yes, hi, my friend here would like to hire an escort but she's too shy to do so, so we're helping her with the entire process. i hope you don't mind?"

"if it helps to ease the nerves, not at all."

nobars nudged you, holding the phone out. you pouted at her, shaking your head like a stubborn child. she rolled her eyes and pushed the phone into your hand forcefully, making you panic as you didn't want ijichi hearing your wrangling.

"um, yes, i- i'd like to hire someone but- ah nobara already mentioned that! it's for… for dates! i just need someone to go on dates with me."

"i see. is this a formal event?"

"n-no! i just need dating training of sorts, so casual is fine… if i do need to attend a formal event in the future, would that be a problem?"

"not at all, simply let us know when booking. our escorts are trained to be able to adapt to any situation and event, there is nothing you need to worry about, miss. do you have any specific preferences?"

"uh i-"

nobara leaned over your shoulder. "she prefers more mature guys! someone who's caring and attentive, someone who's not too outgoing and loud, it has to match her energy! since this is date training, there's probably going to be a lot of awkwardness so we'll need someone who is patient too. someone who can act like the best boyfriend to ever boyfriend. as for looks, i think she's fine with everything- although wait, maybe dark hair. yep, dark hair."

you couldn't believe her, she practically directed the entire call for you as if she'd made a plan beforehand, knowing that it would come to this. there was no doubt that she'd had this in mind, this was nobara after all. maki, on other hand, was watching you amused; she didn't usually engage in whatever shenanigans nobara was up to but she was always a bystander who very much enjoyed your reaction just now.

"miss, do you agree with the listed preferences?" ijichi asked after a moment of silence. you could hear him typing and occasionally scribbling on paper.

"yeah, yes, that's fine. is it possible to book him on weekends? i don't know if this is going to work out just yet so maybe once a week on fridays? i've never done this before so yeah."

"that is doable, yes. if you wish to engage in sexual relations, you may discuss it with your escort. these services come at an additional cost, of course."

"i don't-"

nobara interrupts you again, smirking at you cheekily. "it would be beneficial, so please take that into consideration when choosing the escort!"

"alright, thank you," ijichi went silent for a minute while he was organizing the files and schedules. "there are some possible candidates with whom i have to check with first. i will get back to you, should they agree to the job. after that we can exchange personal information and contacts so we can discuss the matter further."

"okay um. thank you, mr ijichi, i appreciate your help," you thanked him bashfully, giving him your number before thanking him again. you were already so deep in thought that you didn't even listen to his reply. now you've really gone and done it. were you crazy? what if your parents found out? they'd riot and be immensely disappointed in you. getting some dating experience through dating an escort, only nobara could ever come up with something like this.

"how do you feel?" maki inquired and rubbed your shoulders in concern, seeing how quiet you suddenly grew. weakly shrugging with your shoulders, you grasped the fabric of your shirt and nervously fiddled with it. the entire ordeal filled you with anxiety, a myriad of thoughts circling in your brain. it was the first time doing something "reckless" and it left you feeling nauseous.

"i'm not sure." you hesitated. "i'm curious to see how it goes but it just makes me really nervous. how do i act around him? and what if he finds me weird?"

"i don't think he's going to think you're weird just because you get nervous around guys. and besides, ijichi said he'd find the perfect guy for you, yeah? don't worry about it too much. if you don't feel comfortable after the first date, we'll figure something out."

"i guess so… um, but you guys don't mind accompanying me to it? just to make sure it's not some weird guy?" upon seeing your hopeful face, the two girls couldn't say no - of course not, you were their precious, innocent friend. as amusing as this situation was to them, they wanted nothing more than to support you and see you happy as well. you had already done a tiny step out of your little, sheltered world and much more was to come.

the ring of your phone nearly scared you to death, making you drop the book you were holding. quietly cursing, you picked it up and placed it on the table before answering the phone. who was even calling you at this time? everyone knew you were busy in the evening, slaving away on your assignments. it must be really important to interrupt your workflow like this- you almost dropped your phone in shock when you recognized ijichi's voice on the other side. admittedly, you forgot about the entire ordeal and didn't expect him to get back to you so soon. "good evening, ms y/n. i'm calling you regarding your inquiry so we can finalize all the details."

"u- uhm yes! thank you for calling!"

although ijichi was kind and patient, you were still nervous as you scribbled the details on a piece of paper. your escort's name was choso, he was a few years older than you and his schedule was very flexible. there wasn't more info, ijichi had announced that choso would call you as soon as possible. dread filled your stomach - it was nerve wracking to meet new people, not to mention someone you hired to be your fake boyfriend for the day. and now that you knew he was calling, all focus and concentration was thrown out the window. silently, you sat at the table and stared at your phone, waiting for the screen to light up. maki and nobara didn't need to know about this new development just yet as you wanted to navigate this on your own before telling them.

not too long after, your phone rang again, an unknown number flashing across the screen. it had to be him. even though you mentally prepared yourself for minutes, the anxiety came back full force. with trembling hands, you picked up, holding your breath as you waited for an answer. a deep, rather dulcet voice greeted you from the other side. you liked the sound of his voice, it almost put you at ease if it wasn't for your mind that constantly reminded you what was going on. you hastily introduced yourself to him and told him why you were requesting his services. the entire time, he was silent and let you speak - although you appreciated that he didn't interrupt you, every second that was passed in silence agonized you.

"hello y/n, my name is choso and i'll be your escort for the time being. ijichi told me you were looking for someone to pose as your fake boyfriend?"

"ah, uh yes sort of! i don't… have any experience when it comes to boyfriends and that kind of stuff. and i- i just wanted to learn what it's like to d- date and- and," your voice got smaller and smaller, until it was a mere whisper that was filled with all kinds of embarrassment that you felt. you couldn't help it, hopefully choso was still able to decipher what you were explaining. "you know, k- kissing and all that stuff. i've never done it with anyone before."

"i see," choso paused for a second, making your heart race. "i can't say i've had this situation before but i'm confident in my skills to guide you through this. before we first meet, let's set some boundaries so you feel comfortable at all times, okay?"

you hummed and nodded, although he couldn't see you over the phone. choso sounded like what nobara had described your ideal type - ijichi really had delivered and chosen the best possible match. choso knew what to say and how to steer the conversation in such a way that it didn't make you feel helpless or anxious. and you, in turn, felt like you could trust him with this issue.

"y- yes! uhm when i first called ijichi, a friend of mine helped me with the process and requested someone who was comfortable with sexual relations but… uh, to be honest, i never thought of requesting them. i'm not entirely sure if i want to do it either… i want to approach this in a slow manner, as slow as possible."

"alright, i can work with that. as for our first meeting, have you picked a time and location?"

you sighed in relief. choso seemed like a really nice and understanding person, leaving most of the options up to you. you knew it was part of his job but it felt nice to know that he was so forthcoming and accommodating. for the first date, you’d chosen a nice restaurant that had good reviews and little private booths. even though there was no way your father would ever magically appear and find out about your escapades, you were still trying to be secretive and cautious. the restaurant was situated in a widespread estate with beautiful gardens, the perfect spot to take stroll after dinner. in all the romance books you’d consumed, these type of dates seemed to be very popular - you thought to yourself why not? as you discussed your plans with him, you briefly wondered what he looked like. it felt weird asking him about it and you'd meet him soon anyways. maybe he looked like what you thought his personality was - like a prince charming? the prince that your dad had always assured you would come along. a small giggle left your lips at the thought of it; it was silly to believe it would turn out to be the love of your life. though it made you giddy thinking of your prince charming.

“is everything okay?”

“ah sorry, everything’s fine! i just had a silly thought a moment ago, that’s all,” reassuring choso quickly, you rubbed your cheeks in embarrassment. he must’ve thought that you were going crazy. “anyways, thank you for um, everything. i feel more comfortable now that i’ve discussed the details with you, thank you for being so patient. i look forward to meeting you!”

on the other end, choso hesitated, startled by your sudden enthusiasm when you were rather shy and timid before. it seemed that you were willing to open up a little more. he was curious himself, never having dealt with such a case before. usually, only experienced people who were looking for eye candy to accompany them to fancy events would hire him. he couldn’t imagine what you were like before meeting - it was nicer to get to know you in person after all, for the sake of a date setting. still, how were you able to afford the services? considering you were most likely a college student, he couldn’t fathom what lengths you went just to gain some experience. though he supposed, he shouldn’t judge you too quickly.

“i look forward to meeting you as well. see you on saturday, y/n.”

for hours you’d gone back and forth between outfits - casual? or more cute? maybe a mix of both? maki wasn’t much of a help either, mostly just giving you a thumbs up for every outfit while nobara had something to criticize about every outfit. you sighed, tossing yet another shirt onto the heaping pile of clothes. it was hard trying to impress someone that you didn’t know. the last item on your list was a simple, flowy dress and it seemed to be the best fit. you didn’t want to agonize over the choices any longer, seeing that the date was inching closer and closer. maki looked like she was bored out of her mind as well, scrolling through her phone as she was lounging on your couch with nobara. “are you sure you’ll be fine?” maki questioned you again. she was relieved about your good mood, how you were less apprehensive about the entire ordeal. when you first told them about choso after the phone call, you sounded slightly excited and were gushing about how nice he had been. you were hopeful that you could learn a lot from him. however, maki couldn’t help but worry about you, constantly making sure you were feeling okay.

“i’m sure i’ll be fine, don’t worry! we agreed to just have dinner today and let me test the waters… we’re really just doing whatever i feel comfortable doing for now,” you explained to the two of them, smoothing out the dress before grabbing your bag. “so yeah, i’m ready, i think. i mean if anything was to happen, i’ll let you know right away. i really have to go now though, you guys coming?”

nobara made a noise of protest, not wanting to get up from your bed which promptly earned her a nudge from maki. you giggled at your friend’s antics, grasping her arm to pull her up. as lighthearted and happy as you acted, you tried to hide your nervousness in front of your friends. worrying them did no good. as the three of you made your way to the restaurant, you checked your phone to see a text message from choso who asked to meet you in front of the building. you agreed, telling him that you would be there soon. the phone pinged again, choso had sent you a simple smiley. it made you grin a little, earning a suggestive glance from nobara whom you gently shoved.

"text us if anything happens, yeah? we can also pick you up afterwards so don't worry about it," maki reminded you again as you rounded the corner of the street, stopping mere meters in front of the restaurant so you could say goodbye to them. again, you reassured them that you would do as they suggested. you would be fine, because after all, choso was a professional. waving at your friends’ retreating figures, you slowly walked towards the entrance and let your eyes wander. the streets were busy, you couldn’t immediately make out anyone who was waiting in front of the restaurant. not that you really knew what choso looked like, you just hoped your search wouldn’t get more difficult with people waiting in the front. glancing at your reflection on the windows of a parking car, you made sure that you looked presentable and approachable.

“y/n?” your soul nearly left your body as you got startled by a deep voice behind you, now suddenly being aware of the figure behind you. whirling around, you almost hit the other person with your small bag with the swing. your eyes widened and you apologized profusely, fussing around to make sure the person was okay until you paused. wait a minute. this person knew your name. abruptly leaning back so you could look at the person’s face - they were very, very tall - you incredulously stared at them before spluttering: “c- choso? you’re choso?”

the taller male nodded, gently grasping your shoulders to steady you. on your bare skin, his hands felt scalding hot, making you painfully aware of how close you stood to each other. choso, for a lack of better terms, looked nothing like you’d expected but you couldn’t complain. he was attractive, very much so. he almost fit into the bad boy category, the type of men your dad would never let you close to. you felt inexplicably drawn to choso, like a moth to flames and you just couldn’t look away. he stared back at you, dark eyes glinting with concern as he took in your form. as your voice had suggested, you appeared to be a rather shy and timid person, looking at him like a deer in headlights. choso thought you were adorable, the way you were holding onto the sleeves of his shirt to not fall.

“i’m so sorry, i didn’t mean to hit you! you just really scared me there,” you apologized again, letting go of the fabric in embarrassment. luckily, he didn’t seem to mind, patiently waiting until you were composed again.

“don’t worry about it, i’m okay. it’s nice to finally meet you. should we head inside?” he offered you his arm which you gratefully took and followed him inside. truth to be told, you were starstruck by him, still too flabbergasted to say another word. thankfully, choso had picked up on your speechlessness, silently chuckling to himself as he led you to your private booth. you sat across from him, quietly thanking the waiter as he handed you the menu. eyes flitting back and forth between it and choso, you fiddled with the hem of your dress. what would you even talk about? you felt awkward, not knowing what to ask him; your confidence had suddenly vanished with the earlier incident.

“you look like you’re about to faint,” choso teased you, giving you a cheeky smile. “i’m not gonna bite you, i promise. i’m supposed to be your fake boyfriend, right? ask me whatever you want, just act like we’re good friends. it’ll get better with time.”

you nodded eagerly, face heating up at the mention of boyfriends. how does one even act around them without prior experience? let’s not dwell on it for too long, you thought to yourself. fidgeting on your seat, you pointed at the menu. "do you already know what you'll be getting? a lot of people online recommended their signature dish so i thought we could try it… but all of their dishes sound really good!"

“how about we order different dishes and try from each other then?” choso suggested in response, amusedly watching how your eyes lit up at his idea. you nodded quickly, delving back into the menu to find your desired dish. glancing over to his side to see what he was looking at, you then pushed your menu over to him, pointing at the dish you would be ordering. choso nodded in understanding, skimming the pages until he found a dish that complimented it. not wanting to let you wait any longer, he gave the waiter a sign, ordering for the two of you. across of him, you stayed quiet, still contemplating what to ask him.

“feel free to ask me anything,” choso reminded you again, propping his chin on his hand and leaned closer to you. “when you first get to know someone, dates are really just to spend time with each other and getting to know the other person. if there’s something you two have in common, you’ll just go from there and bond over it, yeah?”

humming in thought, you nodded and looked up at him. “so uhm… what do you like to do in your free time? i’m still in uni, so i spend most of my days studying. but i really like reading when i’m free and i also volunteer at an animal shelter. the pets there make me really happy!”

“my job takes up the majority of my time, so i try to spend time with family and friends as much as possible. my younger brother has gotten me into surfing and paddle boarding, i really enjoy doing that. what do you study, if i may ask?”

“i want to become a veterinarian in the future! it’s been my dream ever since i was younger, so yeah… you said you have a younger brother? i have an older sister but we don’t have much in common since she’s a lot older than me. but um surfing! so you spend a lot of time at the beach, right? i haven’t been there in a long time.”

“if you still wish to continue after today’s date, we could go to the beach next time? i can teach you, it’s not that difficult.”

surprised, your eyes widened at his suggestion. he seemed to be confident that there would be a next time and you couldn’t even deny that possibility. so far, you were easing into the conversation more and more - the process was more natural than the whole setting suggested. though he still made you nervous, he had been nothing but respectful of your space and friendly. not to mention that you were attracted to him as well; if you hadn’t hired him, you could imagine actually getting close to him.

"i- i'd love that." as you told him more about yourself and listened to his stories, you didn’t notice how much time had passed until the waiter suddenly appeared in front of you, presenting you the dishes. your mouth was watering at the sight of the delicious dishes, you couldn’t wait to dig in. quickly thanking the waiter, you then took a bite from the dish after he left. you sighed in satisfaction, taking your time to properly taste the first bite.

“this is so good, you need to try it!” you gushed, pushing your plate closer to the middle of the table. choso chuckled, sharing his plate with you as well. as you took in all the side dishes, he'd already taken it upon himself to pick up a smaller piece with his chopsticks, nudging it towards you. you looked at him confused, then back at the small piece of food. was he trying to-? carefully, you leaned in and let him feed you, confusion and hesitation immediately melting at the taste. the food made you happy, but the unusual intimacy and closeness that he just showed you wasn't lost in between the myriad emotions.

as you had dinner, the previous conversation continued. choso was a few years older than you, has been working in this industry for two years now and preferred coffee over tea. he disliked early mornings and liked to sleep in until noon. his most precious and valued object was a polaroid camera, he wanted to have photos commemorating important occasions or moments that were special to him. all these little details made you feel like he was less of an escort that you'd hired but more of a friend. much to your surprise, the conversation ran smoothly and there were no awkward, silent gaps. you supposed it was only natural; you felt comfortable with him so it was easy to talk. had it been any other guy who didn't understand you or your intentions so well, you probably would've closed up.

"do you want to take a stroll around the estate? i heard the gardens are really beautiful," you asked choso, a hopeful glint in your eyes. dinner was finished long ago, silence filled with light conversation and teasing from choso’s side. you weren’t sure where to go from this or how to suggest being… more intimate. choso had suggested you would go slow - but how slow was too slow? and if you were to go with the flow, when would be the right time?

“i would love to,” choso’s reply pulled you out of your thoughts, focusing your attention back to him. lost in your thoughts, you nodded and called a waitress over to pay the bill. you felt choso’s gaze on you, making you queasy. what did he think of you? or this entire ordeal? you wondered. as he stood up and moved behind you, you nearly jumped out of your skin when he placed his hand on the small of your back, guiding you out of the restaurant. the touch was unfamiliar, heavy and scalding even through your clothes, but not unwelcome. a strange feeling welled up in your chest, crawling its way up your throat, constricting it in such a way that it distracted you from coherent thoughts.

seeming to notice your conflict, choso stepped to the side, offering you his hand. you glanced at it, hesitating. “boyfriend experience, remember?” he grinned at you, patiently waiting until you took his hand. his hand was much bigger, almost entirely engulfing yours as you intertwined your fingers. gently swinging your arms back and forth with the flow, choso lead the way through the paths of the garden. having looked forward to it, you suddenly found yourself too distracted by him. the flowers and trees were beautiful and so were the statues but he was the one that caught your attention.

“my hands aren’t sweaty, are they?” you asked after a moment of silence, stopping to face choso. he laughed and shook his head, flicking your forehead gently.

“stop worrying about things too much, you’ll be fine. you don’t see me complaining, do you?”

“i mean that’s true… but i can’t help it! there’s just a lot to uh, think about…” your voice trailed off, you let his hand go to cover your face in embarrassment. choso inched closer to you, grasping your hands to pry them off your face. remaining stubborn, you pulled them back in, a giggle breaking from your lips when he tried again, playfully pinching your cheeks.

“want me to take your mind off said things?” he asked with a low voice, inching in further until your back hit a tree trunk behind you. he was so close, too too close. weakly, you pushed at his chest, trying to get him to back off. the sudden closeness that threw you off - your heart was racing at a million miles an hour, the endless possibilities dancing around your head. “how so?” your voice came out quiet and breathless, as if you were anticipating anything, something… his touch perhaps?

“do you feel comfortable with me?” without hesitating, you nodded in agreement. choso didn’t question you any further, simply gave you a knowing smile before diving in and pressing his lips against yours. instinctively, you stiffened, hands clenching around the fabric of choso’s shirt. breath caught up in your throat, you struggled to ease into it. you pulled away from him, squeezing your eyes shut in shame.

“i’m sorry that-”

“don’t apologize,” choso comforted you quickly, clasping your hands in his and intertwining them. thumbs gently rubbing the back of your hands, he lifted one of them to press a kiss against your knuckles. you blinked perplexed; your heart fluttered at the gesture. “don’t overthink it, there’s no science to it, yeah? just follow the flow, whatever feels good. we’ll go from there.”

giving you a moment to collect yourself, he leaned back in, silently waiting for permission. again, your breath hitched but this time, it wasn’t the nervousness. it was his eyes that drew you in, demanding all of your attention. dark, with unknown depths, that glimmered with mischief. ever so slightly, you tilted your head up to meet his lips. his warm lips pressed against yours, slowly testing the waters and letting you set the pace before deepening the kiss. now less hesitant, you kissed him back with more fervour, losing yourself in the feeling. it felt awkward and strange now that you let him guide you, leaving more space for you to ponder about the feeling that it evoked inside of you. you were glad he was holding your hands, otherwise you wouldn’t know what to do with yourself. the kiss brought forth a pleasant, tingling feeling - the sort of feeling that pulled you in, lulling you in warmth.

when choso pulled away, you almost mewled in disappointment, chasing after him. he let out a breathy laugh, cupping your cheek. “how did that feel? was it okay?”

“y- yeah, i liked it. felt very strange at first but once i was able to ease into it, it was… more natural and felt really good,” you explained to him shyly, leaning into his hand. longingly, you gazed at him. would it be weird to ask for another kiss? you wanted explore the feelings more, the intimacy of it, wanted to feel more of him. as if sensing that you were craving more, choso leaned in again, stopping a few centimeters in front of your face. with a sudden surge of boldness, you closed the distance between you, leaning up to kiss him. choso's arm snaked around your waist, pressing you closer to his body. gradually your body felt hotter, a dull ache accompanying it, spreading across the expanse of your stomach.

before you could act on the urge, choso pulled away again, pressing an apologetic kiss to the corner of your lips. "sorry, i don't want to get too carried away and we're… uh in public," he laughed at your horrified expression upon realizing your mistake. "i take it that you're still comfortable with this? do let me know if it gets too overwhelming for you.”

“n- no, it’s fine! it was uh, an interesting insight. i just wasn’t expecting to really get into this, considering- considering i hired you for this and don’t really know you.”

choso hummed in agreement. “i guess there has to be at least a smidge of attraction for it to work, yeah?” you looked at him stunned, trying to decipher the look in his eyes. you couldn’t place it; couldn’t place the feeling of longing that was emerging in you. when he looked at you like that, it was difficult to remind yourself that he was just an escort that you hired for your personal problems. when he looked at you like that, it filled you with warmth, making you want to pretend that he really cared about you as if you were in a relationship.

“yeah… yeah, i guess so.”

nervously, you were twiddling with your phone, contemplating whether to text choso or not. after the last “date”, you felt confident enough in continuing your… relationship of sorts. he was great at guiding you, always making sure you were comfortable and moving at your pace. you did let him know that you would book another session, you just hadn’t set up a date or time yet. and casually texting him felt awkward. hey, how’s your day? oh by the way, i wanna book another session so we can make out haha? maybe calling was a better idea. there was no plan ahead, never did you think you would even get this far.

the dial tone made you nervous. you chewed on your bottom lip as you waited for him to pick up, bouncing your leg up and down. maybe he was busy? it was early in the afternoon after all, he was probably already out with other clients. “hello? y/n?” choso sounded groggy, his voice raspy and deep as if he’d just gotten up. it sent electric shocks right down your spine, raising goosebumps across your skin. never had you thought about a man’s morning voice before, but choso had you wondering, imagining. you spluttered: “oh hey uh are you busy? i’m not interrupting you with something, am i?”

“not at all, i just got up,” choso admitted with a quiet chuckle. “everything okay? are you calling in for another appointment?”

“ah, yeah! i thought that we worked quite well and there’s still a few more things i want to learn with you, if you’re up for it? if you’re comfortable with it too, of course!”

“mhmm, i wouldn’t mind,” choso pondered from the other side. sounds of rustling and a few clangs resounded before you could clearly hear his voice again. you were glad that he agreed to it, meaning that you weren’t entirely… hopeless in that department. for days, his words were ghosting around in your head, a constant reminder that he seemed to find you attractive as well. not that he showed it, staying professional despite the nature of your relationship. it was nice to imagine that someone would look at you like that, at your shy and timid self.

choso was meticulous about his work, working on every detail and concern until he was satisfied. even though he looked so easy going, from time to time he had to admit that he was a perfectionist and easily frustrated when something didn't go the way he expected. so when you rolled around, so innocently asking for help, it threw him off. the feelings of confusion grew when he first met you, unable to pinpoint the origin of this urge, possessive and demanding, reaching its tendrils out to you. the way you reached out to him for help, the fact that you wanted to continue, wanted him to teach you. it thrilled him to the core when it really should not. he had to remain professional. but he was curious, so curious. indulging a little wouldn't hurt, right?

to choso's surprise, the next venue you'd chosen was the own comfort of your home. you were barely acquaintances, more like strangers, and yet you felt confident to invite him here. at the phone you had told him that your friends thought you had weird ideas about dates due to only seeing glorified versions of them on tv shows and movies. it embarrassed you enough to take their advice, inviting choso over for a movie night as opposed to visiting another fancy venue with him. prior to the date, you went through movie suggestions and rented the ones that you thought were interesting and enjoyable for the two of you. despite your put together attire and look, your apartment did not reflect the sentiment. it was a little chaotic; books and paper stacking up in every free corner of the apartment, pens strewn across surfaces and here and there choso could spot memorabilia and photos.

you gave choso an apologetic look when you let him in. despite your best efforts to clean up, you were still not happy with the outcome. tidying wasn't your strong suit but you tried to make it as accommodating as possible. choso assured you that he didn't mind at all, telling you that it added to the charm of the apartment. it was unusual to have someone other than your friends or family in the apartment - your home was your sacred space that you rarely ever showed anyone else, let alone someone you had hired. choso took a seat on the couch, turning to look at you as you went to grab some glasses and drinks.

"i uh, told my friends about my plans and they just told me i have weird expectations of dates," you explained choso, placing the items you'd grabbed on the coffee table and rubbed the back of your neck sheepishly. "they said it would probably just be better to have a simple movie night since a lot of people do that. and it would… make things a lot easier i- if we go fu- further…" the implication was hanging in the air, you didn't dare to speak them out. choso gave you a knowing smile, patting the empty space beside him. gingerly, you sat next to him, squeaking in surprise when he snaked an arm around your waist and pulled you to his side. with wide eyes, you stared at him, still trying to wrap your head around the casual close proximity with the taller male.

wordlessly, you started a random movie, trying to focus on it. throughout the duration of it, choso would ask you questions about your day, how uni was going or whether you felt comfortable. you couldn't focus, not with him being so close. how you made it through the first movie you didn't know. you were hyper aware of choso's wandering hands, the ghost touches his fingers left, how he absentmindedly rubbed your legs that were resting on his lap. straining to keep your eyes on the screen, your neck already felt stiff from the tension.

"i can tell that you're distracted, you know?" choso hummed, hands squeezing your legs gently to catch your attention. pretending to not be affected by it, you shook your head. you didn't want to show him that you wanted to proceed, not yet.

"i'm trying to concentrate," you shushed him quietly, playfully pushing at his arm but still not looking over to him. silence. you assumed you'd convinced him that there was nothing wrong until you felt his hands innocently move a little higher, rubbing the top of your thighs. clenching your fists, you stayed put, unwavering in your resolve. choso's hands wandered, alternating between featherlight touches to using more pressure. he kept his eyes on you, gauging your reactions to him. you brought your hand up to cover half of your face. it was embarrassing, the way your breath came out laboured in response. without warning, arms were hooked under your knees, dragging you across the couch and seated you on his lap. you made a noise in protest, now finally paying attention to him. choso wasn’t sure why but it had bothered him that you were so adamant on keeping your attention on the movie as opposed to keeping your eyes on him.

choso wasn’t sure why but he craved your attention, wanted you to look at him only. his resolve crumbled when you looked at him with wide eyes, grasping the sleeves of his shirt to steady yourself. he couldn’t help but kiss you, swallowing your surprised mewl before you returned the kiss. pleased at your eagerness, he gradually deepened the kiss, licking at the seams of your lips. you gasp in surprise and parted your lips slightly, whimpering in anticipation. it felt unfamiliar and yet thrilling at the same time, fueling and flaring up the dull ache in the pit of your stomach. before choso could go any further, you pulled away and hid your face in the crook of his neck. “what’s wrong? did i go too far?” he questioned concerned, rubbing your back in soothing circles.

“no, no, not at all,” reassuring him quickly, you awkwardly turned in his lap, legs still thrown over it. “i uh just wanted to try to take initiative myself, figure things out without getting hints from you… if that’s okay?”

a sigh of relief left choso’s lips. silently, he gave you his approval and leaned back, watching as you shuffled clumsily. finally, you straddled his lap and placed your hands on his chest. in the dim light, you couldn’t make out his face expression - choso was glad that you couldn’t, otherwise you would have been able to see how much it was affecting him, how he was slowly losing his composure and control around you. but this was about you, he was there to help you explore this type of intimacy. releasing another shaky breath, you then leaned in and softly kissed him. you kept a languid tempo, slowly and surely cracking his restraint. trying to mirror what he’d done earlier, you pushed further, timidly licking into his mouth as he parted his lips.

seemingly not being able to hold back anymore, choso pushed against you with equally as much fervour, gripping your chin and tilting your head ever so slightly. his lips moved against yours, sucking your bottom lip, eliciting a whimper from you. again the ache in the pit of your stomach was flaring up, uncomfortable and yearning for relief; you moved against his lap, pressing your body against his when your crotch dragged against the bulge in his jeans. choso groaned, hands flying to grasp your hips and steady you.

dazed, you gave him a confused look. choso cleared his throat, lifting his hips ever so slightly so you could feel his arousal again. when the realization hit you, your face heated up - you were surprised to find out that he felt aroused… by you.

“oh.”

“yeah.” choso retorted dryly, hands rubbing at his face in embarrassment. “fuck, i’m so sorry. it wasn’t meant to get out of hand like this, i don’t know how far you planned ahead for today but i-”

“uhm if you don’t mind…” you hesitated. but curiosity simply got the better of you, you wanted to see him breathless and feel as hot and bothered as you did. “could i uhm. you know? give you a handjob? only if you don’t mind because i want to know how to please uhm, please people.”

choso swore under his breath. you had no idea how painfully hard you were making him. quietly encouraging you, he leaned in to kiss you again and guided your hands to his jeans. you fumbled with the button and zipper, hands trembling slightly. it took you a few tries until you were finally able to unzip his pants, a giggle left your lips at the thought of how clumsy you were. your hands gently rubbed at the tent in his boxers, breath hitching as choso’s hips jerked. gaining some courage, you slightly put on more pressure and watched fascinated when choso’s fingers digged into the fleshy skin of your hips in anticipation. slowly, you pulled the waistband of his boxers down until it revealed his cock. choso hissed at the cold air that was biting at his skin.

carefully, you wrapped your hand around the shaft, marvelling at how the skin felt on your hands. sensing your cluelessness, choso wrapped his larger hand around yours and guided you into a slow rhythm to get you used to the movement. sucking in a deep breath between his teeth, he praised you: “you’re doing good, y/n. fuck, you’re being such a good girl.”

your heart soared at the praise. eagerly, you leaned up to kiss him, still stroking him in slow movements. choso moaned against your lips, the deep sound spurring you on, eager to hear more of his reactions. when you finally felt more comfortable continuing on your own, choso pulled his hands away and instead settled them on the small of your back, sliding them down until they were resting on your bum. you wrapped your other hand around him as well and paid attention to his reactions, adjusting the pressure and pace accordingly. choso buried his face in the crook of your neck, whispering sweet praises in between his moans. eventually your name left his lips; it set your entire body in flames, desperate want clinging onto your bones.

“fuck, i’m close,” he groans against the skin of your neck, hips rutting up to meet your movements more frantically now. you weren’t entirely sure what to do, opting to simply match the pace. shudders wrecked through choso’s body as he came, warm cum painting your small hands and running down your fingers. he was panting, leaning back against the couch and watching you with hooded eyes. the sight in front of you stirred something inside of you - choso’s flushed face, the slight sheen of sweat on his skin, his kiss-bitten lips. with curiosity, you inspected the liquid on your hand. lazily, choso grasped your wrist, holding them away from you. “‘m sorry. do you have a tissue?”

you tilted your head, tugging on the sleeves of his sweater with your other hand. “uh i- i’ve heard from others… um. can i try?” you asked quietly. choso’s grip on your wrist weakened; he gave you an incredulous look, as if you few two heads. out of all things, he didn’t expect you to suggest that. fuck, he felt the blood rushing right back down to his cock. just the thought of you, doing that - it was enough to make him cum again. “go ahead, if you feel like it,” choso whispered in a low voice. dark urges overcame him again, begging him to give in, to make you bend to his will, to submit, to-

his thoughts came to a screeching halt when he saw you unashamedly pop a finger in your mouth, licking the come from it. there wasn’t any reaction from you really, you gave him a sheepish smile afterwards and gratefully took the tissue he offered you. he helped you wipe your hands, diving in for another kiss. “sorry, i think i just short circuited,” choso laughed embarrassedly, another kiss was pressed to your temple. “that was just… uh- fuck.”

“r- really?” you stammered, hiding your face in your hands. “it’s okay if it wasn’t that great for you, it was my first time after all, i-”

choso hushed you, going for another open mouthed kiss, eliciting a whimper from you. “yeah, really. fuck, the things i want to do to you,” he shook his head, not wanting to get sidetracked again. “but this is about you. we’ll only go as far as you’re comfortable. did you feel like you learned enough for today?”

“mh- hmm. thank you,” you leaned your head against his chest, closing your eyes as a sudden tiredness washed over you. choso’s fingers dancing across your skin were slowly lulling you into a comfortable slumber. “what is it that you want to do to me? will you show me one day?”

choso cursed, shivers running down his spine.

“if you want to, of course.”

-----------

now that you’d met choso a couple of times, it was pretty obvious that you took some liking to him. after that fateful day, nothing else had happened as you wanted to work on easing into relationship dynamics and feeling less insecure about things - choso had been nothing but sweet and mindful about it, even went out of his way to find suitable locations for your dates. somewhere along the way you had started to text more casually, the strictly business type texting long forgotten. gradually, the two of you opened up to each other, the lines between escort and client slowly blurring and intertwining.

choso had promised to pick you up after your shift at the animal shelter for your next date; for today he had suggested you come over to his place for a change. the thought that he was willing to let you in his home, let you have a glimpse into his personal life, it made you giddy with anticipation. despite getting closer to each other, he remained a mysterious person and you didn't want to pry. after all, you were merely his client. but what if you were more- patting your cheeks to put some sense back into you, you leaned down to pet the dogs. unbeknownst to you, choso had already entered the building and watched you with a soft smile as you gave each of the dogs their deserved belly rubs before you left.

you didn't take any notice of him until some of the dogs perked up and carefully trudged over to sniff at the stranger. turning around on your heels, your eyes widened as you took in choso's tall figure. you quickly apologized, telling him that you would be joining him right away to which he simply shook his head and reassured you that you were fine. your co-workers were eyeing choso curiously, one of them wiggling their eyebrows at you. in response, you waved it off, too embarrassed to set the record straight. choso looked so awfully much like a boyfriend in this moment - the way he was dressed in casual clothes that accentuated his physical features so well, the soft smile he gave you as he offered you his hand to take, the way he sounded genuinely interested and curious when he asked you about your day.

silently, you took his hand and followed him out of the building - you could feel your co-workers’ inquisitive gazes like laser beams on your back. while they were never particularly nosy about your personal life, it was unusual that someone would pick you up from work; much less someone that you seemed to be romantically interested in. surely, they would grill you the next time you would return to work. “they think you’re my boyfriend,” you explained to choso sheepishly, glancing down at your intertwined hands. choso squeezed your hand and nudged your side gently. “am i not?” he winked at you cheekily, making your face heat up. he had asked in such a serious voice that you’d briefly questioned yourself.

“n- no, not really,” you replied quietly, looking away from him. choso reached around you to open the car door for you. in the window reflection you could see his face expression; it was rather somber, almost as if your words had hurt him in a way. the emotion was gone from his face when you blinked. maybe you had just imagined it. getting close to him on that level was unattainable, no matter how you twisted it. it just wasn't right.

the car ride was mostly quiet, only the sound of choso's car playlist accompanying you. somewhere along the way he had reached out to intertwine your fingers, resting his hand on your thigh. holding hands was almost natural to you now, the way his hands automatically sought out yours whenever possible. in response, your heart was racing, filling with the all too familiar feeling of yearning. whether you were simply yearning for the intimacy and closeness of a relationship or for him, you weren't entirely sure. while choso had told you about himself for the sake of the fake dating, there were still unknown facettes. it was impossible for you to get to know all of him, not when he was selling a fantasy to you. and yet, you found yourself craving more of him, beyond what he was willing to show you.

choso parked his car in the garage, turning his body sideways so he could look at you. "you okay? you look like you were quite lost in thoughts," he hummed curiously, rubbing circles on the back of your hand. what could you possibly answer to that? hey i'm questioning our fake relationship and it's going beyond what i expected? abruptly, choso hoisted you across the seat onto his lap as if you'd weighed nothing. "a penny for your thoughts? or should i take your mind off things?"

"i- i think i would… rather not talk about it," you whispered quietly, gaze skirting away from his eyes. choso frowned, slightly irritated - he had a small inkling why he reacted this way but banned the thought to the back of his head. he understood that as a client, you wouldn't disclose details of your private life to him. but he found it difficult to circumvent your dropping mood when he couldn't tell what was going on.

"i understand," choso was about to open the door when you suddenly cupped his chin and dove in for a kiss. he was caught off guard - rarely did you ever initiate kisses, usually shyly asking beforehand. feeling bold, you pressed you pressed your hips down, grinding against his crotch. choso groaned, gripping your hips to guide you while thrusting his hips up to meet yours. he enjoyed how you shuddered at the newfound pleasure, the delicious friction making your toes curl. "does baby want me to take her mind off things?" he murmured with a raspy voice, peppering kisses across your jaw.

"please," you mewled needily, hands grabbing onto his shoulders, fingers digging into his skin. choso complied, sliding his hand up to tangle in your hair and gently pulled at it, tilting your head back. you were panting by the time he was moving down the column of your neck, nipping and sucking at your skin. lower and lower, until he reached the top of your breasts; with swift movements, he yanked your shirt and bra upso , pressing open mouthed kisses to them before wrapping his lips around your nipple. your voice cracked as you moaned his name, hands flying up to bury your hands in his hair. distracted by the ministrations, you didn’t notice choso’s free hand sliding down your front until you feel the coldness of his hands on your skin. you squirmed, giggling at the cool sensation - the giggle died abruptly when he dove lower, fingers rubbing your clothed pussy languidly.

“c- choso! we’re still in the g- garage, people can see!” you stuttered scandalized, tugging at the tips of his hair to grab his attention. choso simply hummed, carrying on as if you hadn’t just told him your concerns. rubbing circles on your clit, he watched with satisfaction how your legs were trembling, writhing in pleasure. just the sight of you - hickeys on your neck, slightly swollen lips, shirt pushed up to reveal your tits, his hands down your pants - it was so arousing and thrilling, he almost didn’t want to stop.

“the windows are tinted and no one’s around at this time… do you really want me to stop?” he murmured with a low voice, fingers pushing your panties to the side to gather the slick up on his fingers. “look at you, how much you’re craving it. the want is written all over your face, baby. do you want to stop now?”

before you know it, choso’s hand is suddenly hovering over your face, fingers glimmering with your arousal. you shot him a dazed look, confusion evident on your face. “open,” he instructed softly, slowly and carefully sliding his fingers in your mouth. almost instinctively, your hands gingerly grasped his wrist. your lips wrapped around them, tasting the liquid curiously. his breath hitched, blood shooting down his groin - fuck, you were going to kill him. tentatively, he thrusted his fingers, slow enough so he could gauge your reaction to it. you didn’t know what it was - the taste of yourself, the weight of his fingers on your tongue, the way he was looking at you with hooded eyes and a hungry expression on his face; it made you squirm, eagerly for more. choso immediately took notice of your sudden mood shift. barely noticeable, your hips were rocking back and forth as you sucked on his fingers, cleaning them of your slick.

with a pop, choso removed his fingers. you whimpered his name, gasping in relief when he slid them back down, moving your panties to the side. his thumb found your clit, rubbing the little nub gently in slow circles. as if he was in no hurry and unbothered by the prospect that someone could actually spot you, he continued his ministrations. your legs jerked, threatening to close when you felt his fingers prod at your entrance. excruciatingly slow, he sunk a finger into you. the feeling was unfamiliar, almost uncomfortable at first. seizing up, you clenched around the finger. “relax, ease into it,” choso whispered reassuringly, capturing your lips in a kiss. “it’ll feel good, i promise.”

choso inserted a second finger, letting you get used to the feeling of them. the kisses he was peppering on your chest were distracting you from the burning stretch, creating a confusing mix between pain and pleasure. “how are you feeling?”

“f- feels good, i- i-” you were struggling to form coherent sentences, too focused on how he was lapping at your nipples, sucking and kissing them gently. “y- you can continue…”

steadily, choso started to thrust his fingers into you - gradually, the burn was disappearing and replaced by a delicious stretch, pleasure that was spreading throughout your body and setting your nerves on fire. desperately clinging onto his shirt, you hid your face in the crook of his neck. choso placed a kiss on the crown of your head, whispering sweet praises and telling you what a good girl you were. it felt good, so good but something was missing, you needed something, maybe more. you started begging and despite blabbering nonsensical things, choso understood what you were asking of him. his fingers hit a peculiar spot inside of you when he curled them, making you jerk in surprise. “o- oh!” again and again, choso was hitting the spot, making you writhe on his lap.

something was building up in the pit of your stomach, like a tightened coil that was about to snap at any time. panicking slightly, you grabbed choso’s hand and tried to close your legs, wiggling away from him: “h- hey wait, i-” another moan broke from your lips when choso sealed your lips with his and wrapped his arm around your waist, locking you in place. “it’s okay, let go, baby. cum for me,” he whispered against your lips, sinking his fingers in you one last time. and then the coil snapped, the high crashing over you like a riptide, so blinding and intense that it took you a while to come down from it. your thighs were still trembling by the time you came back to your senses, ripples of pleasure still cursing through you.

you slump against choso's chest, exhausted from the intensity of your orgasm but feeling wonderfully blissed out. choso removed his hand from you, licking your arousal from his fingers before wiping them off on a paper towel. he brushed his fingers through your hair, pressing a kiss on your forehead. "how are you feeling? can you move?"

"my legs feel like jelly," your voice came out muffled, face still pressed into his chest. "'m feeling good though. that was… really nice."

"i'll carry you upstairs," choso declared matter-of-factly, hoisting you up so he could carry you. you slung your arms around his neck, pecking the side of his neck. his scent was faint but calming, lulling you into a sense of home and comfort. you wanted to stay close to him like this, just having him hold you in his arms. a myriad of emotions welled up in you, swallowing all your doubts until all that was left was the budding blossoms of your feelings for him, nurtured by his soft touches and adoring treatment. you wanted to cherish him, keep him close for as long as you could, as long as you could still have him.

"thank you."

"for what?" choso sounded surprised.

"taking care of me? i mean i pay you for it but i still wanted to let you know that i appreciate it."

“everything for you, baby,” choso replied softly, tightening his grip around you. as you got to his apartment, choso placed you on the couch and knelt down, hands wrapping around yours. “do you want to get changed? i’ll lend you some of my clothes, you can get changed in my room or in the bathroom if you want to freshen up.”

he was so so considerate, you couldn’t believe someone as nice as him existed out there. as you agreed, choso disappeared in his room; the sound of opening doors and drawers as well as rustling resounded from his room. you took the opportunity to observe his home. it was a small but cozy apartment, despite being sparsely decorated. in the back of the living room, you could spot some bags and boxes, presumably choso’s surfing equipment, as well as posters and photos cluttered on a pinboard. here and there, some little figurines and trinkets were spread across the apartment. although it was cozy, the apartment lacked some kind of presence, some warmth. you assumed that it had to do with choso’s job - he probably was rarely home between work and spending time with friends and family.

“here you go,” choso handed you a big sweatshirt and some shorts as he came back, patting your head teasingly. “go and get changed, i’ll start preparing dinner, yeah?”

you hid in the bathroom and got changed, neatly folding your clothes and stacking them on the counter. inspecting yourself in the mirror, you admired the size of choso’s sweater - it was a simple and cream coloured sweater that was entirely dwarfing and engulfing you. the sleeves were way too long and the hem almost reached your knees. but it was soft and comfy, coming close to choso’s hugs. you pulled the shorts up your legs, awkwardly securing them by tucking them underneath the sweater. choso had set up some boiling water and was silently chopping vegetables by the time you left the bathroom and tip toed towards the kitchen. “can i help you with anything?”

“no it’s okay, take a seat. do you want anything to drink? water? tea?” reluctantly, you sat at the small table on the side, pouting at him. choso simply laughed and shook his head, bringing a glass of water over. your heart jumped in surprise when he kissed your forehead as he placed the glass on the table. “i’ll take care of you for today. boyfriend duties, remember? the past times you’ve always taken us out on restaurants and incredible locations and now it’s my turn to show you the boyfriend magic.”

sudden dread filled your stomach. how could choso be so warm and kind-hearted to you, when you weren’t even in a relationship? you keep having to remind yourself that this was what he was doing for a living, that you might possibly never know the real him. that this might just be a mask that he kept on for the sake of your requests. you didn’t reply, deep in your thoughts as you stared at the glass of water. choso returned back to his previous task, cooking dinner in silence. your chest felt heavy with uncertainty and disappointment - you tried your best to push the emotions down. they were irrational, you knew full well what you were getting yourself into when you asked for his service.

thankfully, choso didn’t seem to have picked up on your sullen mood, even throughout dinner - you let no emotions shine through when you conversed with him, choosing to keep it lighthearted. you offered to wash the dishes, not wanting him to lift another finger when you could help him in return. as you scrubbed the bowls, choso creeped up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist, placing his chin on your shoulder. “you wanna watch a movie? or go to bed already? you’ve had a long day at work after all.”

“hmm, yeah. i think i’d prefer going to bed, if that’s okay for you?”

“i could never say no to cuddles,” choso hummed, capturing your lips in another kiss. you whimpered against them, not being able to resist him. he moaned against your lips, grip on you tightening. “please don’t tempt me, it’s so hard to say no to you,” he warned you with a strained voice.

your face grew warm at the memories of a few hours ago. you couldn’t believe you let him do that, let him finger you in his car in the garage. no one had seen you and you were thankful for that but you wanted the ground to swallow you whole at the thought of someone possibly snitching on you. your father would lose his mind. “is- is it not what you want?”

“of course i do, but not today. baby steps, remember? we have all the time in the world. and i can assure you that i very much want you,” with one last peck on your lips, he removed himself from you and disappeared in his room. he wanted you. your heart was soaring at his confession. you were relieved to know that he was craving you as much as you were yearning for him. maybe you would indulge, just for a couple more times until you would inevitably have to cut off the relationship. you felt at peace with your decision, you told yourself. nothing good would come from false hope.

after washing up, you joined choso on the bed, shyly crawling towards him as he opened his arms and welcomed you. he pulled you into his chest, nearly crushing you with his weight. it made you giggle and squirm in his arms, trying to wiggle out of his hold. choso was having none of it, peppering kisses all over your face as he trapped you in place. gasping for air in between your carefree laughter, you weakly pushed at his head, squealing when he dove in to blow raspberries on your neck. he showed mercy and let up, instead curiously inspecting your neck as he pulled the neckline of your, no his, sweater down. something dark was glinting in his eyes as his eyes zoomed in on the hickeys he had left on your neck and chest - he felt strangely satisfied, pleased with his work of art. a sliver of possessiveness overcame him as he traced the trail of red marks on your neck, humming quietly.

“something wrong with my neck?” you questioned confused, not having spotted the hickeys yet. choso shook his head, simply laid back on his side again to look at you. “not at all. was just inspecting the hickeys i left on you.”

“you left marks?” you gaped at him, mildly shocked at the revelation. though he was preoccupied with your neck earlier, you didn’t expect him to actually leave so many marks, much less ones that were visible. “is… is that a common occurrence?”

“for couples? i think so. but i can’t speak for everyone; if it was me, i would do it frequently. stake my claim on you, let everyone know that you’re mine,” choso replied and casually draped the blanket over the two of you, as if he didn’t just admit to doing something he would normally do with a lover. did he think of you as his? you struggled to decipher his actions, not being able to match it with a specific reason.

“that’s uh-” your stuttering was interrupted by another horrifying thought. “oh god, i can’t let my parents see this, they will kill me.”

choso shot you a confused look. you hadn’t told him about your parents yet or how you were hiding this from them.

“my parents… especially my dad, are very cautious about letting me venture out in romantic relationships. it’s mostly because he didn’t feel like anyone was good enough for me and because he didn’t want me to get hurt. sometimes i felt like those princesses locked up in a tower, you know? so i decided to explore and uh, hired you. i didn’t want to burden my friends with having to help me gain some experience,” you explained to choso, eyes widening when he suddenly grabbed your hand and pressed a kiss to it. he winked at you cheekily before leaning over you to turn off the lights. you felt him press a gentle kiss to your lips but you couldn’t make out his face expression in the dark. choso preferred it like this, so you couldn’t tell the vulnerable look on his face, the ache of knowing that he could never fully be yours.

“then i’m glad i get to serve a princess such as you.”

----------

“you’ve been spending an awful lot of time with choso,” nobara commented as she took a sip from her coffee, reaching out to grab one of the muffins you had ordered. you looked away in embarrassment. it’s been nearly two months since you’ve started to meet up with choso. your dates became more frequent, even the casual texting continued. and yet you hadn’t really told your friends about your progress or how you felt about him, either brushing it off or giving them vague details. it was only natural that nobara and maki grew suspicious, vowing to grill you about it the next time you would meet up. “have you done the deed?”

“n- no! not yet,” you answered hastily, the topic still making you feel bashful. though you had talked to choso about it; he had agreed and hinted that you might go all the way the next time you would meet up. it was weird, scheduling something like this. but you felt more at ease knowing that it was approaching and you could somewhat prepare your nerves for it. “we talked about it though… next time, maybe?”

“i see,” maki nodded slowly, deep in thought. “you’ve been skirting around this escort thing a lot. is there something you’re hiding from us?”

“nope! not at all!”

“y/n… we’re looking out for you as friends. i know you told us that you trust choso and that he’s the nicest person you have ever but is there something more?” maki gave you a gentle nudge. the serious look in her eyes told you that you better not give her a lame excuse. even nobara, who was usually playful in nature, looked mildly concerned. as much concern as she could muster up anyways. sheepishly, you stared at your mug, watching the milk swirl with your hot chocolate. surely, they would tell you to stop seeing him, to stay away. because catching feelings for someone whose true feelings and self you could never uncover… should have been something you could have prevented. if only it hadn’t been so easy to give in, so easy to develop feelings for choso.

“uhm. i just realized that i like him, like a lot. i know i shouldn’t and should have circumvented the issue somehow but now i’m stuck with my feelings. and it’s just confusing. before you get mad at me, i’ve already decided to cut it off after our next date. i can’t dwell on it for too long because realistically, nothing is going to happen.”

wordlessly, nobara gave you a hug, patting your back to soothe you. “is he really that great though?” maki lightly swatted nobara’s arm and gave her an eyeroll. her comment made you laugh, she knew how to lighten up a situation.

“i think so. very gentleman-like and just takes good care of everything. i really appreciate how well he’s been taking care of me this entire time. he just is the perfect boyfriend, you know?” nobara nodded but you could tell from her face that she was trying to put the puzzle pieces together. it made you laugh again, pinching her cheek playfully. you didn’t want to worry your friends too much. they always helped you in every situation and now it was time you would take care of everything yourself.

“i can’t believe this entire time we were trying to find you a perfect partner and you’ve gone and went the whole nine yards, boyfriend experience and heartbreak all together,” maki joked and ruffled your hair, giving you a reassuring smile. “you know we’re there for you if you need emotional support in this, right? we might not be much of a help while you go through the fake breakup but we can help you take your mind off afterwards.”

you sniffled a little at the thought. your next date was fast approaching and you were grateful to have such great friends, who would always look out for you and be understanding even if you made dumb mistakes. your next step would be to learn how to mend a broken heart.

everything had to be perfect. the entire evening you had been on the move, busy cleaning your apartment and room and spending time in the bathroom making yourself look presentable. you still felt nervous exposing all of you to choso, never had anyone seen you naked before. the thought of it had made you so anxious that you’d called nobara who promptly suggested you wear cute underwear and something comfy to ease yourself into it. chances were that choso didn’t really care and wouldn’t judge you anyways; he had always been generous with compliments, always telling you how pretty you looked, how cute you were, and what a good girl you were for him. you didn’t think you could feel so fired up from praises nor did you think that you would be craving to hear them so much until choso came along. the feeling of euphoria that overtook you whenever he praised you, along with the pleasure he gave you whenever you were fooling around - it was a deadly combination.

knocks at the door made you perk up, hastily racing over to the door to let choso in. he chuckled when you immediately wrapped your arms around his waist and buried your face in his chest. “hey baby, missed me much, huh? i missed you too,” choso admitted, softly combing his fingers through your hair. you peeked up at him from below, closing your eyes as you leaned into his touch like a cat. “mhmm, missed you a lot,” you mumbled, humming in content as choso pecked your lips briefly before waddling inside the apartment with you in his arms, closing the door behind him

“what am i going to do with you?” he mumbled amused and sat down on the couch, pulling you onto his lap. he squished your cheeks between his hands, kissing your pouty lips with a broad smile. “you always make it so hard for me to leave.”

your heart sunk at his last words, remembering how you were planning to proceed by the end of this date. surely, it couldn’t be so hard and he wouldn’t think much of it since it was all business anyways. and yet, you couldn’t help but seize up with dread, not wanting to hurt him. if, and only if he would actually be affected by it. you placed your hands on his, sticking your tongue out at him. you teased him: “you leave but you always return, right? doesn’t that give you something to look forward to?”

“yeah, always come bouncing back…” choso trailed off, a faraway look on his face. you couldn’t tell what he was thinking - each emotion that surfaced was only fleeting and quickly wiped from his face expression as if it never existed in the first place. perhaps he was keeping his heart as guarded as yours, for baring the most vulnerable parts of yourself could be your downfall. he ran his hands along your thighs, rubbing the bare skin gently, fingers teasingly slipping under the hem of your shorts. your breath hitched in your throat, expecting him to move his hands up further. but by now, choso knew how to play you like a fiddle, what drew beautiful moans out of you, what made you whimper in anticipation and how to build up tension. he knew how to tease you and use it to his advantage; knew well that you would follow his instructions like the good girl that you were, never disappointing him. “gotta take care of my princess, hm?”

choso dipped down, brushing the strands of your hair out of the way, showering it in kisses. you mewled quietly, tilting your head to the side to allow him more access to your neck. he was still murmuring between kisses, telling you how sweet you were, how he was going to make you sing his name, how he was going to take care of you. the whispered praises were getting to your head, you easily melted into his touch. “c- choso,” you gasped, already drowning in him as his presence clouded your senses, wrapping around you as if nothing else but him existed. “please touch me.”

“your wish is my command,” choso lifted you up as if you weighed nothing, carrying you to your bedroom with ease. gently, he dropped you on the bed, simply hovering over you without saying a word. the look in his eyes knocked the air out of your lungs; you loved his eyes, his dark brown eyes that were filled with so much warmth and love, now darkened and filled with lust. he observed you, waiting for you to make a move - you stayed still, tense with anticipation. with every single intimate encounter you had with him, you gradually learned that choso enjoyed being in control, overjoyed when you were obedient and remembered what he had told you. he liked having you at his mercy, being the first and only one to discover the expanse of your body, to pleasure you in ways you were yet to familiarize yourself with.

choso’s tapped your lips, carefully sliding two fingers in when you willingly parted your lips and sucked on them. the weight of his fingers on your tongue, the dazed look on his eyes as he watched you - it was all so erotic, so arousing. you lifted your hips, grinding against his thighs for some kind of relief. it drew a slightly irritated click of the tongue from choso, gently pressing his fingers against your tongue. but he enjoyed the view, seeing how you wanted him so much, how you were seeking relief by humping his thigh. you could already feel yourself soaking through your panties and your thin shorts, arousal smearing across choso’s thigh and leaving a wet spot on his jeans.

pulling his fingers out of your mouth, he slid them down, lower and lower, smearing your spit across your skin. his fingers stopped right at the buttons of your blouse, playfully rolling them between his fingers. slowly, he unbuttoned the blouse, pushing the fabric off your shoulders to reveal your bra. you squirmed, suddenly feeling shy and embarrassed about being so exposed in front of him. “you’re beautiful,” choso reminded you. “don’t hide from me. i want to see all of you.”

reluctantly, you kept your arms at your sides, instead clenching your fingers around the fabric of your comforter. teasingly, his hands dragged across the tops of your breasts before dipping lower. “look at you, how soaked you are already. you’ve even left a spot on my jeans. i haven’t even touched you properly yet… has my princess missed me this much?” he mused, gently rubbing circles across your skin. he was careful not to move anywhere close to your crotch, resolutely keeping his hand near your navel.

“yes, please touch me,” you mewled, grasping his hand to guide him towards the hem of your shorts. his hand splayed across your mound, rubbing in deliberately slow movements, making you sigh in relief. choso tugged on your shorts, dragging them down your legs with ease. you clenched your eyes shut, hiding your face behind your hands. choso stayed silent for a few seconds and simply admired you in the dim light of your room. he could tell that you'd chosen a nice set of underwear to impress him - you looked so cute in it, like a present waiting to be unwrapped. he took notice of the dark patch on the crotch of your panties, how they were clinging onto your skin and how your arousal was glistening on your inner thighs.

"you look breathtaking," choso complimented you, gently removing your hands from your face. "i told you not to hide, didn't i? give me all of you, baby."

you blinked a few times, sheepishly thanking him. his praises overwhelmed you, making your chest swell with pride. but still, you didn't know how to react when he was singing your praises, too bashful to reply coherently. choso removed your panties in painstakingly slow movements, leaving trails of kisses on your inner thighs up to your ankle. throwing your panties to the floor, he then pulled your legs over his shoulders. you watched him bewildered, not sure what to make of it. the position made you feel oddly exposed; all of your senses were heightened, strained to focus on choso only. the oversensitivity caused your hips to jerk when choso’s breath hit your pussy, keen on receiving attention. the swipe of his tongue on your slit was something you didn’t expect - the sensation was new, uncharted territory, so different from his fingers. it drew a whimper from your lips, making your toes curl against his back.

languidly, he was lapping at your folds, taking his time to get you used to the feeling. it wasn’t until his tongue dragged across your clit, lips wrapping around it to suck gently, that whines and whimpers spilled forth from your lips. your hips automatically lurched forward, rocking against his face. you couldn’t wrap your head around the pleasure it provided you, how it rendered you into a babbling mess with only his name on your lips like some mantra. needing to busy your hands otherwise, you clenched your fingers around his hair, subconsciously pressing his face into your pussy. choso groaned against you, the slight burn turning him on beyond relief. you felt like you’re floating, higher and higher, rapidly approaching your high and it was still a feeling you’re trying to get used to, a feeling that you readily welcomed and craved.

it was a combination of all the touches that bring you closer to the edge; how he was sucking at your clit before flattening his tongue against your clit, paying close attention to it, how it was repeatedly and rapidly dragging across your folds. it made you sob, begging him to make you cum. choso pulled you even closer, fingers digging into your thighs as he lapped at your swollen clit, again and again until you come with a loud moan, barch arching from the bed, heels digging into choso’s shoulder blades. clenching your eyes shut, you attempted to push his face away from you, now feeling too sensitive. your legs were trembling uncontrollably, you gasped for air as your high washes over you and slowly ebbing away. choso sat up on his knees and only then you see the arousal smeared across his chin and lips. the sight sent electric shocks up your spine, breath hitching in your throat. he looked so fucking hot like this. he gave you no time to be embarrassed about it, wiping the slick off his skin and licking it off his hands.

“c- choso, what-” you croaked, voice all raspy from your relentless moaning. choso didn’t reply, instead kissed you open mouthed - the taste of your arousal was still present on his tongue. in the back of your mind, you thought about how dirty it was and yet so thrilling, eliciting a hunger for him. desperately, you were tugging at his shirt, trying to get it off. you were struggling, huffing in frustration as he didn’t budge. choso laughed, pecking your lips apologetically before taking it off along with his pants. even in the dim light you could make out the bulge in his pants, a testament of much he wanted you. the sight made you salivate, your pussy clenching around nothing. he took notice of your dazed look, grabbing your chin to tilt it up. “are you sure you want this? do you want me?”

you nodded quickly, eyes widening at his question. “of course, i want you, never wanted anything more. please, choso.”

“you have me, all of me,” he retorted, a tender look in his eyes. again, your heart clenched. just one more time you would get to see him like this, pretend he really was your lover. but when he looked at you with so much adoration in his eyes, it was hard to believe that there wasn’t a spark between you. unbeknownst to you, choso had always looked at you with stars in his eyes, hoping that you would return the sentiment. no matter how hard he was keeping his feelings at bay, the cracks were widening, allowing more and more feelings to seep through. with each touch, each word that you exchanged, the dam was weakening and threatening to spill everything that he was keeping inside.

choso gently pressed you back down onto the mattress, fingers fumbling with the condom that he’d pulled out of his jeans. you watched with fascination as he put it on, not being able to take your gaze of it. he grinned, deciding to indulge you, pressing his cock against you. arousal was still leaking from you, allowing him to easily slide against you. deliberately, he nudged the head against your clit until you couldn’t take it anymore. you wiggled your hips, signaling him to do something, do put you out of your misery. choso glanced at you for permission, suddenly seeming to be nervous himself. you gave him a small nod, leaning up to cradle his cheeks and kiss him. choso began to push, slowly slipping past your folds and- the stretching burn, it was there again and made you tense up.

choso grasped your hands, intertwining them and showered your face with kisses, whispering sweet nothings and encouragement. the feeling was familiar and yet strange at the same time, the girth of his fingers were nothing compared to his cock. it was a tight fit; you were aware of him, so aware of him. muffled, you heard choso telling you to relax, that he didn’t want to hurt you, to take your time. he was still pushing, distracting you from the uncomfortable pain with kisses. with one last thrust, he’s pushed the entirety of him in you. faintly, you could feel pain gradually ebbing away. the fullness of him, the throbbing; you clenched around him, a quiet moan leaving your lips as choso’s hips jerk in response.

“you okay? can i move now?” he whispered against your lips. you nodded, feeling choso smile against your lips. your breath hitched in anticipation as he pulls out ever so slightly before thrusting back in. you let out a whimper at the sudden thrum of incoming pleasure, hands squeezing his. choso thrusted his length in and out of you slowly, still wanting you to get used to it. the drag of it against your walls, the way his cock ever so slightly bumped against that spot inside of you that made your body sing - you sobbed out his name, hips tilting up to meet his movements. choso had no qualms obliging to your unspoken wants, upping the pace once he’s made sure you felt comfortable.

slowly, his inhibitions fell apart upon seeing you desperately cling onto him, moaning out his name as he pulled out and drove back in, deeper than before. you saw stars when he hit the spot inside of you, burying himself inside of you completely. it’s been a short amount of time but choso was quick to figure out what made you shake in pleasure in particular, memorizing every little nudge and wiggle that would have you gasp out his name. the closeness, the intimacy, it easily beat everything else that you’ve ever done before but it was now that you realized that no one could compare to choso. while your initial goal was to simply learn and gain some experience, somewhere along the way, you veered off the path. perhaps your goal was never to find out what it was like engaging in sexual activities but rather to experience it with someone you loved. it was then that you realized you didn’t care about these things unless you could experience them with choso.

while choso was no stranger to having people in his bed, the sight of you was one he would never be able to get out of his head again. how your moans and whimpers were getting more frequent with each thrust, how you were sobbing his name whenever he hit particularly deep inside of you, how your small hands were holding onto his, how you clenched around him whenever he praised you. he wanted to keep you for himself, to impale himself in you in such ways that you could never look at other people the same way anymore. “i- i’m close,” you hiccuped between sobs, back lurching from the bed. “choso, p- please, i wanna cum, i-”

“i’ve got you, princess,” he assured you, diving down to kiss you feverishly. relentlessly, his hips pistoned against yours, desperate to make you cum. choso couldn’t hold back any longer, he was close, so close. wanting to cum with you, he reached down to rub your clit. your reaction was almost instantaneous, legs pressing against his side as you came, his name on your lips like a prayer. he came with you, burying his face in the crook of your neck as groans left his lips, mixed with your name and curses. his hips stuttered as they pressed against you one last time, staying in place until he’s spilled all of him in the condom. you felt like you were floating, still dazed from the intensity of your orgasm. absentmindedly, you wrapped your arms around his neck, hand absentmindedly playing with the hair at his nape. choso let out a noise, akin to a cat’s purr, nudging his head against your hand. his gesture made you giggle and you strained your neck to press a kiss against his forehead.

slowly, choso removed himself from you, letting out a breathy laugh as you protested. you made grabby hands at him but he simply tutted, disappearing in the bathroom to dispose of the condom and came back with a wet towel. it felt comforting, the warmth of the towel as well as his gentle touches, lulling you into a sleepy state. it didn’t take long for him to join you again once he was done, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into his chest like the countless times he’s done so before. “how are you feeling? i didn’t hurt you, did i?”

you shook your head, trying to find the right words. in the end, nothing came into your mind to appropriately tell him how mind blowingly good he made you feel so you just settle with: “felt good, really good. didn’t hurt, jus’ felt uncomfortable at first. but you made it okay, it’s okay when it’s with you.”

“i see,” choso let out a relieved breath, laughing as you blinked at him stunned. you looked adorable, still floating and coming down from your high. “i’m glad i was your first, glad i could do it justice. just wanted you to feel good.”

“mhmm, thank you,” you slurred sleepily, arms wrapping around his waist. you felt so warm and loved, not wanting to let go of the feeling just yet. “can we do it again some other day? you promised to show me what you still wanted to do to me.”

“y/n, sweetheart, when will you be coming to visit us again? i know it’s your summer break right now and you’re busy but we thought it might be nice to go on a short family trip. what do you think?” your mother pleaded over the phone. you could see her pout on the screen, her attempt at guilt tripping you into visiting more. truthfully, you felt bad about not having been able to see your family so much - the amount of assignments and final exams was swamping you and you just wanted to get through them before going on vacation. that and the fact that you couldn’t properly look them in the eyes anymore ever since being with choso.

you just couldn’t let go of him, nor could you admit your feelings to him, in fear it would make him uncomfortable. it was irrational, reckless even, to keep paying for a service you technically didn’t need anymore. simply to keep a person you had feelings for around for longer. nobara and maki didn’t know about this either, you knew they would have your head as soon as you confessed. it was irrational and you knew it. and yet it was so hard to let go. with every waking moment, you craved choso, his tenderness and loving gaze, the warmth of his arms, the domesticity that the two of you shared, how natural it seemed when you spent time together. and so you kept returning to him, over and over again

“i’m sorry, mum, i’m just really busy right now. but i promise i’ll let you know when i’m free, okay? i’m sure we can find a fitting date for the trip,” you attempted to soothe your mother, giving her an apologetic smile. she rolled her eyes at you playfully but shrugged it off, knowing that you didn’t mean anything by it. before you could tell her goodbye, your mother suddenly stopped you, waving at the screen.

“sweetheart, one of my friends- her son, i told him about you. he’s a very nice young man and i think you would get along well. when you come visit us, i’ll introduce him to you, yeah?” she explained, a giddy smile creeping onto her lips. “i’ve told him a little about you and your father doesn’t mind either. he has a good background too, i’m trying not to swoon.” she giggled as if she was the one who was to be set up on a date with him.

your eyes widened ever so slightly at her revelation but what shocked you more was that choso had seemingly heard what your mother had said. he was still sleeping when your mother had called you, so you hid in the kitchen to talk, not wanting to disturb his sleep. he stood in the doorway, blinking at you confused. you made sure to turn a little so your mother couldn’t see him. “mum, i told you i’m not really interested yet and want to go at my own pace-”

“honey, i know but the opportunity was just there. i couldn’t pass it up and you can still reject him, no? just try to meet him at least once.”

you sighed. “we’ll talk about it again when i’m home, okay? but don’t put too much hope in it, please.”

“i know, i know. i’ll talk to you again another day. love you, sweetheart,” your mum said goodbye to you and hung up. you groaned, tossing your phone to the side and buried your face in your hands. choso was not supposed to hear any of that. even though you two weren’t really in a relationship, and he had assured you that he wasn’t sleeping with anyone else, keeping his work at accompanying clients only, you still felt like you were somewhat betraying him. you felt choso’s presence moving behind you, then his arms wrapping around you, his chin being placed on your head. you couldn’t see the slightly irritated look in his eyes, the jealous glint that told you he didn’t want you to look at anyone but him.

“your mum seems to be eager to find you a partner,” he commented amused. you groaned, swatting at his arm.

“i don’t know why they’re suddenly so persistent after not deeming anyone as suitable for years,” grumbling, you turned slightly, pressing a kiss to choso’s chin. “i’m not really in the mood to go on dates just yet, so she’ll have to deal with it.”

“not in the mood for dates?” choso echoed, pinching your cheek. “not even with me?”

you whined, burying your face in his chest. you didn’t want to let him see how his words excited you. “no, i’m always in the mood for you, for dates with you.”

“that’s good to know. we’re going out later after all,” choso laughed, combing his fingers through your hair. “i did promise to take you to the beach and teach you how to surf.”

one of the reasons you didn’t come visit your parents immediately when your summer break began was because you’d already planned a short trip with choso. weeks ago choso had proposed you’d go to the beach together and you were thrilled by the idea, not having been by the sea in years. you’d rented a little cabin by the beach for the two of you while choso had prepared everything for the car ride. the car ride would be rather long but you weren’t worried about it at all - in the beginning, you’d been apprehensive, rather awkward with him. he eased you into everything, showing you not to be scared of relationships and to just be yourself. conversation was easy with him as if you’d been long term friends, with no worries or restrictions. for weeks, you’d looked forward to the trip, to spend more time with him.

the car ride was filled with laughter and calming music, you shared stories and secrets with each other, you fed him the snacks that you’d made the night before. you felt blissful, happily ignoring all the consequences that might be coming your way - you wanted to enjoy your time with him as much as you could. the dance that the two of you were engaging in, it was romantic and felt so domestic, while skirting around the important issue. inspecting your intertwined hands, you clasped your other free hand around his, rubbing the skin gently. choso shot you a concerned, questioning look but you brushed him off, assuring that nothing was wrong. “i’m just happy to be sharing this uh… boyfriend experience with you, really. i wouldn’t wanna do it with someone else.”

choso shot you a wistful smile, lifting your hand to press a kiss on it. “i’m glad you feel that way. you deserve only the best, someone who treats you like the princess that you are.”

the feeling of the grainy sand below you, wind blowing your hair in every direction, sun on your skin, water splashing against your shins - you felt like suddenly all your worries were washed away. you were still running through the shallow water, giggling as you saw choso catching up on you. upping your speed, you jumped through the water until he managed to grab you by your wrist, pulling you into his chest. he lifted you up, twirling you around in his arms a few times before setting you back on your feet, leaning in to kiss you. “you can’t just run away like that, all our stuff is still stranded over there,” he scolded you, playfully flicking your forehead. you glanced behind you, seeing how choso had already placed all the towels, cooler and bags on the beach chairs.

“it’s okay, we have the beach to ourselves anyways,” you retorted cheekily. choso couldn’t argue, instead rolled his eyes. the beach house that you had rented for the weekend was on the outskirts of the city, a rather quiet spot that also had a private beach. the paranoia that your parents might possibly spot you somewhere was running deep and so you didn’t want to risk anything. choso could teach you how to surf in peace, without any bystanders or crowded spaces. but now that you were sitting on the beach chair, you noticed that choso’s mind seemed to be elsewhere as he clumsily fumbled with the bags. you gnawed at your bottom lip, hoping that your earlier conversation with your mother wasn’t on his mind.

“you okay there? can i help you with anything?”

“huh? yeah,” choso answered after a second of processing, shaking his head. “uh i just get distracted looking at you. you look good in that bikini.”

“oh shut up,” you retorted but hid your face from him, still growing bashful even though you were used to him complimenting you out of nowhere. he shot you a wink, resuming his work. “but… choso, you can talk to me if anything bothers you, you know that?”

“yeah, i know… but don’t worry, i think this is something i have to figure out for myself first before i tell anyone,” he padded over, kissing your forehead. “but i appreciate it.”

deciding to drop the topic, you joined him, watching how he demonstrated his surfing skills. if he didn’t want to talk about it, you would respect it; and maybe, just maybe, he would open up to you about it. you watched as choso surfed through the waves, the sight filling you with bright happiness. he looked so happy to be surfing again, the usual tired look on his face wiped away as if it had never been there in the first place. he looked like he was truly at home, comforted and surrounded by the crashing waves. you understood what he meant by being distracted - choso looked good in his trunks as well, the water drops that were rolling down his body, his exposed upper body, the way his loose, slightly damp hair was falling over his face. you very much enjoyed the sight and almost felt creepy for staring so much.

as per usual, choso was a wonderful teacher, remaining calm and patient while he gave you instructions, comforting you when you weren’t doing so well and was always right by your side encouraging you. you hadn’t had this much fun in a while, especially not with someone other than from your close friend circle. it was easy to lose the track of time when being with him, all your thoughts and anxieties washed away like the seashells at the shore. by the end of the day, you were utterly exhausted, your muscles feeling like jelly. as you laid on the bed, you still felt like you were rocked and swayed back and forth by the waves. it was relaxing, almost lulling you into a deep slumber if it wasn’t for the sound of the running shower and choso’s humming. you opened the window, before returning to bed, wrapping the blanket around you. the sound of waves sloshing against the shore echoed through the room, making you feel like you were actually sleeping at the beach.

it didn’t take long for choso to return; you felt the bed dip beside you before you heard him. pretending to be asleep, you waited until he said anything but were instead greeted with a kiss on your nape. you squirmed a little, the feelings of his lips tickling the sensitive skin. a giggle broke from your lips, unable to stay silent any longer. “did i make you wait for too long?” he asked quietly, grabbing you by the hips to turn you around to face him. you shook your head and gave him a smile, leaning in to peck his lips. “no but i did miss you. did i tell you that i now get what you meant by being distracted? you looked really hot in your trunks and so serious while giving me instructions.”

“ah, really?” choso hovered over you, placing his hands beside your head. you’d only offered simple compliments but he was already so fired up, making you grin. “you can’t just tell me that and expect me not to do anything. don’t you know that i’m always hungry for you? i’ll ravish you right here.”

“what if i want you to ravish me?” you bravely retorted, your voice slightly cracking at the end. rarely were you ever bold with him but at this moment, you might as well indulge him. as an reward for teaching you how to surf and being so patient about it. choso clicked with his tongue, pleased with your reply. before he could move, you suddenly felt an urge to go further, wanting to be the one to initiate intercourse for once. you placed your hands on his chest, pushing gently. he looked at you confused, cocking his head to the side. if it wasn’t for the hungry look in his eyes, you would’ve cooed at how adorable he looked. “uhm can i… suck you off for today? i mean you’re always the one who- who makes me feel so good and i know you said you liked it but i just wanted to return the favour…”

choso short circuited at your request, momentarily leaving his mouth wide open as he stared at you. “y- yeah of course, if that’s what you want,” he spluttered hastily, sitting up on his knees. feeling giddy, you shuffled off the bed, positioning yourself at the edge of the bed and waiting for him to move. choso gulped, slowly moving towards the edge. he leaned down to kiss you, your hands snaked towards the waistband of his sweatpants, some doubt overcame you again, slowing your movements. sensing your hesitation, he patted your head and ruffled your hair. “you don’t have to do it, if you feel too nervous about it.”

“no, i want to, really,” you assured him, grasping the waistband and dragging it down. choso lifted his hips slightly, helping you remove his pants. his boxers followed soon after. gently, you wrapped your hands around his semi-hard cock, giving it some gentle strokes. choso exhaled shakily, leaning back on his hands as he kept his watchful eyes on you. you leaned in, flattening your tongue against the underside, running your tongue over the underside, tracing it until you reached the cockhead. gingerly, you gave it a few kitten licks before wrapping your lips around it. hands still stroking him, you delved in, taking as much as much as you could. choso tilted his head back, moaning loudly. it spurred you on, eagerly you bopped your head against him, paying close attention to the sensitive head as you licked and sucked at it. curiously, you licked the slit, tasting the precum on it. the taste was unfamiliar, nothing like you’d ever had before but you weren’t sure what to make of it. but you weren’t grossed out by it, thankfully.

choso’s hips jerked when you touched a particularly sensitive spot, not being able to control his own body anymore. usually, he was more composed, holding himself back for the sake of you - immediately, he stopped and apologized, staring at you with wide eyes. “fuck, i’m so sorry, that wasn’t meant to happen. did i hurt you?” he cupped your cheek, guiltily examining you.

“‘m okay, don’t worry about it. it just surprised me a little, that’s all. but if it’s what you like… i uh, don’t mind,” you reassured him.

“f- fuck, you can’t just say that because i will and-”

“like i said, i don’t mind. i want to make you feel good too.” reluctantly, choso nodded and relaxed again, letting you proceed. you were eager to make him cum, enthusiastically moving your head along the shaft. you welcomed choso’s shallow thrusts, glancing up to watch his reactions. his skin was beautifully flushed, eyes were closed, groans muffled as he bit his bottom lip. you struggled to take his cock in deeper, instead wrapping your hands around the parts you couldn’t reach. when choso’s thrusts got sloppier, you could tell that he was getting close.

“y/n, fuck- i’m gonna- wait, you-” unable to finish his sentence, he moaned, hips stuttering again as you swirled your tongue around the sensitive tip. you suckled on his length eagerly, hands pumping the base faster and choso couldn’t keep it in any longer, coming with a loud moan. you continued suckling on the tip, helping him through his orgasm until he’s spilled all of him in your mouth. sitting back on your knees, you removed yourself from him.

eyes wide and glossy, you looked up at him as he pulled away slightly so he could look at you. choso brushed your hair back, then lifted your chin up, tapping your bottom lip. "show me," he said in a low, hoarse voice, patiently waiting until you opened your mouth and showed him. showed him his cum that was still pooling on your tongue. a few seconds passed until he finally reacted - just the sight of you on your knees, obediently following his orders and showing him your work had his insides stirring with something dark, possessive. "swallow," he whispered, adoringly cupping your cheek as you eagerly swallowed. your face felt hot, whether by embarrassment or pride, you didn't know. quietly cursing, he pulled you up while leaning down, meeting your lips halfway.

unceremoniously, choso dropped you on the bed, making you giggle quietly as you bounced on the mattress. hovering over you, he captured your lips in yet another kiss. you wrapped your arms around his neck, hugging him to your body. choso pressed his groin against yours, experimentally rolling his hips to elicit a reaction from you. burying your face into the crook of his neck, you couldn’t help but writhe from the pleasure - and even though you’ve been sleeping with each other, you still felt too shy to ask him for… more. how could you express what exactly you wanted when you were craving all of him? when you wanted to engrave everything into your brain; the feeling of his body against yours, his touch, the sweet as well as the dirty words he whispered into your ear. it was almost unfair how easily he could draw a reaction from you, as if he’d memorized every little aspect about you already.

choso nipped at your neck, about to leave a mark when you frantically pushed at his chest. “no visible marks, i told you!” you reminded him, almost feeling bad when you saw his disappointed face. but rules were rules, you didn’t want your parents to find out you were sneaking around with someone; you were barely able to look into their eyes as is. he huffed against your neck, burying his face in the crook of your neck in frustration. seconds passed without a reaction before he finally sat up on his knees, hands reaching out to tug on your shirt. “but everywhere else is fine, hm?” he mused, dragging his warm hands across your chest to your shoulder to push the fabric off.

“i- i guess,” you spluttered, barely having any time to react as he’s already moved on, lavishing your breasts with kisses while leaving a trail of hickeys on them. you whimpered, hips rolling up against his. through your panties, you could feel the outlines of his cock; the anticipation of him filling you up made you salivate. choso was quick to remove your panties and rolling a condom on upon hearing your desperate whimpers that were urging him to move faster. no matter how many times you’d already slept together, he could never get enough of you - you made him feel like a teenager again, like he was constantly insatiable and hungry for you. judging from the look in your eyes, you seemed to feel the same way.

choso angled his cock against your entrance before sinking in, moaning in unison with you. he grasped your hands, pinning them against the pillows as you reached out, trying to touch him. you sobbed in disappointment, just wanting to feel him but choso was having none of it. the complaint was quickly forgotten when he started thrusting, the sound of his hips smacking against yours filling the room. he was diligent, hitting that spot inside you over and over again, enjoying how your legs that were wrapped around his waist were trembling. you were drowning, drowning in him, in the pleasure he so graciously provided you. choso painted your chest with marks, placing them dangerously close to where they would be peeking out underneath clothes. he knew you didn’t want anyone to see them but fuck, he wanted people to keep their hands away from you, wanted them to know that you were his.

you sung his praises, hips quickly bucking against his as he buries himself in you to the hilt. he filled you up so well, always dragging against your walls so deliciously. almost feral, choso fucked you harder, putting all his frustrations and emotions into the strength of his thrusts. it left you feeling breathless, clenching around him hard as you climbed higher and higher. never had choso fucked you like this before, like he was trying to prove something - you sobbed, tears springing forth from the intensity. it felt good, so good and you wanted to cum so bad, wanted to release. the pleasant warmth was spreading throughout your body, almost unbearably hot as you neared your climax. it erupted within you explosively, leaving you writhing in a babbling, incoherent mess. for many moments, your orgasm wrecked through you, making you see white and stars. in your euphoria, you didn’t notice how choso had cummed with you, whispering sweet praises in your ear as he rode you through your high. you didn’t notice how he disappeared, returning with a wet towel as per usual, how he kisses away the tears at the corner of your eyes. through your hazy mind, you could tell that he wrapped the blanket around you before disappearing again.

it took you a while to return back to your senses, marvelling about the sex you just had. what had possessed choso in that moment? could it be because you’d offered to suck him off? or was he so pent up the entire day? the click of the door made you lift your head towards the source of the sound, cooing when you saw choso padding towards you. he yawned quietly, crawling under the blanket and wrapping his arms around you. "exhausted?" you questioned him, nuzzling into him.

"mhmm, i feel like i could sleep in until noon tomorrow," as usual, he ran his fingers along your spine, drawing shapes on your back. sometimes you thought you could feel him spelling something out on your skin but the touches were always so fleeting that it was impossible for you to make it out. whatever it was, he must've been too wary or scared to share it with you. you were reminded of your earlier conversation - choso still hadn't said anything so you wanted to bring it up, not wanting any issues to arise between you.

"choso? do you want to talk about what was wrong earlier? i know you said you wanted to think about it, but i was wondering…"

choso interrupted you. "are you going to go on a date with the guy that your mum mentioned this morning?"

you shot him a bewildered look. so he had been thinking about it. you hesitated, not sure what to tell him. should you be upfront and tell him how you feel? or give him a mild version, so he didn't feel cornered by you?

"i'm… i'm not sure yet. the thought of going on a date with someone else is kind of daunting but i think i'll do it just so my mum's happy."

"i see." uncomfortable silence seeped between the two of you. you could tell that choso was irritated, the frown on his face clearly indicating it. and yet, he didn't elaborate, leaving you to figure out what he meant by that. not daring to move, you stayed still, waiting for him to continue. choso sighed, placing his forehead against yours. "i think this is selfish of me but i can't stand the thought of seeing you with someone else. i wish… i wish it was only me that you looked at."

"you don't want me to go on a date with him?"

"yeah. i- i can't tell you why that is. it's selfish and dumb, hence why i didn't want to tell you. and it's not something that you should worry about. i'm just your escort after all, there's nothing more between us."

his words stung. even though it was the truth, the words still stung, driving a knife right into your heart. it was the very thing that nobara and maki had warned you about. but here you were, heart breaking in a million pieces. perhaps it was the fact that choso didn't tell you the reason, didn't seem to trust you with it, that made you recoil immediately. the walls around your heart were immediately put back into place, safeguarding you from any further harm. he wasn’t obligated to tell you anything and you knew that - there was probably also another reason why he felt that way. any further digging would probably make him recoil as well, it wouldn’t do you any good. whatever was growing between you, it had to stop now. choso simply saw you as a client, probably had been this entire time. again, you were reminded of the fact that he might have been acting this entire time, none of the affection he showed you ever being real.

“i- yeah… i guess,” you replied dejectedly, looking away from him. “i’ll figure it out with him, don’t worry. i’ll just keep my mum happy with it, there’s nothing more to it.”

choso bit his lip, refraining from replying to it any further. you already knew more than you were ever supposed to, he should have never let it slip that he didn’t like seeing you with other potential love interests. it pained him to keep this hidden, keep it a secret from you - but the less you knew, the better. he couldn’t imagine you being okay with being in a relationship with him while he was still an escort, nor did he think that your parents would be thrilled about it. from what you’d revealed to him, he could tell that they treasured you and wanted to minimize any possible harm as much as possible. and that included hand-picking a suitable partner for you. he might never be what your parents envisioned for you and he might never become your love interest so every session that you booked was a blessing to him.

sighing, he placed one last kiss on your cheek before wishing you a good night. but even when he closed his eyes and tried to sleep, he was wide awake, not being able to stop the onslaught of thoughts.

weeks passed without you ever contacting choso again. your resolve would have never been this strong, hadn’t nobara intervened. while you were moping and still feeling restless, helpless even, she made sure to delete his number and made you take care of the bills before cutting off contact entirely. normally, she would have commented on it - but seeing how you were struggling through your first heartbreak, she decided to let it be. and because maki wouldn’t have hesitated to have her head if you’d ever snitched. maki had encouraged you to take your mind off things, dragging you along to some of the sports classes she attended. it did lift your mood ever so slightly, much to your surprise, it was more fun that you’d originally anticipated. maki attended so many different classes that seemed so intense that you were scared to join at first. in between the classes, you spent more time with your friends. gradually you opened up to them, explaining them the entire issue with choso and how you had struggled to let go. you told them one by one, until it was finally time to let megumi know.

out of everyone, megumi scared you the most - not because he was intimidating or violent but because you knew how he would react. he’d most definitely be upset about it because he was protective over his friends, not wanting them to be harmed in any way. you’d pleaded that at least nobara should tag along to knock some sense into him, should he snap - but megumi’s reaction surprised you. when you finished your story, he was awfully quiet. you assumed he was boiling in anger, reaching out to appease him but he was frowning, making a contemplative face. “uh listen, i think that choso’s yuuji’s brother.”

“he’s what?” nobara’s eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. megumi had recently started going out with someone that he’d met during work and though he hadn’t introduced you to said person yet, you did know that his name was yuuji.

“yuuji’s brother. i haven’t met him yet but he’s been complaining about his brother for weeks now,” megumi explained, scratching the back of his head sheepishly. “choso’s an escort, right? it has to be yuuji’s brother. i’ve stayed over at yuuji’s place a couple of times… yuuji was venting, asking me about advice on how to get his brother out of a rut. apparently, choso’s been affected by this uh… somewhat breakup as well. yuuji’s suggested to him that he should reach out to you to talk but he said something about his work and your parents...”

“huh. what an interesting coincidence…” nobara mumbled but narrowed her eyes at you. “but you’re not going back to him, right?”

all the blood in your body froze. why had choso brought up your parents? they had never been a part of your relationship, you had only told him how overprotective they were and how they liked choosing your partners and friends for you. could it be?

“no, i don’t think so. i’m… very conflicted about our feelings to each other. it was stupid to give into my feelings for him in the first place. i hired someone to act as my fake boyfriend, someone who does this for a living. i think they know better than to catch feelings for their clients,” you sighed frustrated, shaking your head. there was no way in hell this situation could ever turn back around, even if you now knew that choso had also been affected. and still, he never reached out to me, you thought bitterly.

“i think you should talk it out though, if he does reach out to you,” megumi chimed in, awkwardly patting your shoulder in an attempt to comfort you. “from what yuuji’s told me, it does seem like his feelings are genuine. he didn’t outright push you away, right? who knows what could happen?”

in the end, you couldn’t help but confess to your parents. secrets were bound to be revealed one way or another and you figured it was better you opened up before they found out from someone else. the uncomfortable silence that spread through your apartment created a gloomy atmosphere; the tension was thick and palpable, making you shuffle in your seat in unease. your father hadn’t uttered any word while your mother had completely lost it, not understanding why you hadn’t instead chosen one of the boys she’d always introduced you to.

“all this time you were seeing this boy? and not once did you let us know. i could have asked my friend if they knew someone, their sons are so nice-”

“mum, i already told you i wanted to find someone on my own without having my options being presented to me on a silver plate. and you’re always so disappointed when i end up rejecting them after going through all of the hassle,” you interrupted her, giving her a defiant look. it wasn’t often that you opposed your parents like this but you felt like it was needed - your mother didn’t understand you, nor did she try. you were an adult, for fuck’s sake. you were very much capable of making your own decisions and mistakes to learn from.

“and yet you went to hire an escort! why didn’t you go and meet some of your classmates? i don’t understand why you went such lengths and then even ended up falling in love with them! how would you even pursue a relationship with them?” your mother seethed at you, knuckles blanching from how hard she was gripping her handbag. your father placed a hand on hers, whispering some soothing words in her ear.

“darling, i think y/n knows well that she’s made a mistake and is hurting from it. we don’t need to add to the stress, do we?” he assured her, then looking at you. “y/n, you know that i’m disappointed in you as well. but i don’t blame you for it, i think it’s partly my fault that you felt the need to hire an escort just to… gain some experience. i did take away all your possibilities of a relationship after all…”

“don’t encourage her! this problem won’t just be solved by you spoiling her again, do you know what kind of consequences it could h-”

a loud knock interrupted your mother’s rambling. you were confused - you didn’t expect anyone else for today. it was too late for someone to bring packages. who could it be? you excused yourself, padding towards the door to see who it was. you swore that you briefly suffered from a heart attack when the door swung open to reveal choso. he stared at you equally as stunned, seemingly not having expected you to open and greet him. “w- what are you doing here?” you asked, hating how shaky your voice sounded. how your heart soared, having missed his presence around you. the feelings had never been properly buried, only hidden by a thin layer of pretense that was now quickly being washed away.

“i’m sorry for just turning up unannounced… i was hoping- hoping to be able to talk to you for a bit? i wanted to explain myself,” choso replied, unaware of the two persons in your apartment that were straining their necks to be able to get a look at him.

you groaned. why now? the timing was just too comical, fate must really hate you. “i’m sorry, my parents are here right now. maybe, another t-”

“aha, so this is the boy my daughter has been sleeping with,” your mother appeared behind you, snarling at choso maliciously. panicking, your father had followed her quickly, holding her back by her arm. “you have some nerve appearing here as if nothing happened, what is it that you-”

“darling.” your father cleared his voice, shooting daggers at her. “there’s no need to be rude.”

swiftly, he introduced himself and your mother to choso, politely shaking his hand. choso remained calm, as usual, and introduced himself as well. if he was shocked by the entire ordeal, he sure didn’t show it. his face remained a perfect poker face, no emotions seeping through. “i wanted to talk to your daughter, ma’am. i assume she’s told you about our relationship and how we broke apart. there is no ulterior motive here, i just wanted to explain myself and talk it out.”

“that’s-!”

your father interrupted your mother again, not giving her another opportunity to spit venom at choso. “i think that is a good idea. though she has not opened up about everything, i can tell that she is hurting as much as you are. i believe a discussion would be very productive. but what is your intention? what are you going to do once you’ve explained yourself?”

suddenly, you felt like you were forgotten or invisible in the entire discussion. were they ignoring you? you were standing right there and yet no one was addressing you. you huffed, trying to pull their focus back on you. “nothing’s gonna happen, dad. there was nothing for us to work with and there won’t be.”

choso felt like he’d been slapped. he didn’t know what to make of your reaction but he came here for one reason only: to give you the closure that you deserved and he wasn’t going to leave until he accomplished just that. “i intend to apologize to her. judging from your wife’s reaction, you don’t seem to like me very much. i can’t imagine you would ever accept me, i know i don’t live up to your standards. i don’t deserve your daughter, she deserves so much more than what i can offer. and i’m aware of it. but if she’s willing to have me, i’ll try my very best to live up to your standards, to prove myself to you. i just want to be with her and make her happy. i’m in love with her and that’s what i intended to tell her.”

your heart stopped at his confession. all this time, choso loved you? megumi had been right all along. choso returned your feelings and he was here, so close and yet so far. dread filled you as you realized your parents could possibly drive him away, make him disappear from your life with just a snap of their fingers. you cherished choso more than you were aware of, the adoration running deep in your veins even when you were trying to reject him.

“i see. that’s reason enough for me. we’ve already let her have a piece of our mind, i don’t think she needs more telling off. my little girl has grown so much and it’s time to let her make her own decisions, growing and mistakes,” your father shot your mother a look. she’d calmed down, choso’s explanation seemingly having brought her back to her senses. she looked away, not wanting to look him in the eyes. “we’ll let you deal with this. but know that if she does take you back, i won’t go easy on you, alright? the bars are high and i don’t intend to lower them just because you love her. prove to me, that you’re worthy of her.”

“i will,” choso sounded so sure and confident that it made your father grin - you sure had found someone who took great care of you and wasn’t afraid to stand tall in front of your father. and that he liked, someone who wasn’t scared to back down from a challenge, someone who would be the perfect partner for you. as your parents said goodbye and left, he gave choso a pat on the shoulder before exiting the apartment, leaving the two of you to your own devices.

you didn’t know what to say, how to start. standing in the hallway was awkward but you couldn’t move just yet, instead wanting to hear what he had to say first. “you love me?” you croaked, your voice failing you. now that your parents were gone, you could freely show your emotions, not being able to hold the tears back any longer. choso panicked, fussing over you as you started to cry. furiously, you wiped the tears away with the sleeves of your sweater.

“i do. i uhm wish i had found a better way to tell you this. i figured that you probably thought that everything we did was simply a facade but i promise you that it was all real. i don’t know when exactly but i started falling for you along the way and it was hard… to remind myself that you were a client and i was just there to provide the service to you, you know? i had no right to get mad at you if you decided to go and see other people. and i wasn’t sure of your feelings for me, it was…” choso trailed off, struggling to find the right word but you knew what he meant and nodded, signaling him to continue. “i just didn’t want to tie you to me when you… when you might not like me back or even want to be with an escort.”

you sniffled quietly, wrapping your arms around him immediately, with such a speed that it almost knocked the air out of his lungs. confused, choso wrapped his arms around you, tucking your head under his chin and rubbing your back soothingly. he was relieved that you didn’t push him away at least and let him explain everything in one go. he felt more at ease now and was at peace with the decision to immediately leave and never butt in your life again in case you rejected him.

“all this time, i also loved you,” you mumbled, an upset frown on your face. “i- i just kept thinking that you’d never return my feelings and that you were just playing boyfriend because i hired you to do so and-”

you hiccuped, another sob tearing from your throat.

“when you told me not to go on that date and immediately followed it with you only being my escort and nothing more, it hurt me so much and i know it was stupid and childish of me to react in such a way but… i was just spiraling, i love you so much and didn’t know where to place the anxieties and negative feelings.”

choso shushed you quietly when your sobs grew more frequent and you let him pick you up, clinging onto him as he walked over to the couch and sat on it with you on his lap. “shh, you’re okay, we’re okay,” he mumbled against the crown of your head, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “i’m sorry i hurt you so much, i was not aware that you already liked me back then and that my words would have such an effect on you.”

over and over, choso apologized quietly until you calmed down, slumping against his chest. you stayed silent, trying to piece your thoughts and feelings back together so as to present him with a coherent and logical question. your mind was in shambles and you hoped that choso would at least get what you were hinting at. “so w- what do we do now? where do we- we go from here?”

“as i’ve already told your dad… if you’ll have me, i’ll make it up to you, all the hurt that i’ve caused you. i love you, so much. i want to be your boyfriend, and this time officially.”

“i like the sound of it,” you mumbled, tilting your head back to look at him. “will you be my boyfriend?”

“it would be an honour, princess.”

with a kiss, choso sealed the deal, easily catapulting you back on cloud nine. who would have thought that the escort you’d hired to be your fake boyfriend would turn out to be the prince charming you had always hoped for, surpassing even your wildest dreams and expectations. choso was everything you wanted and more - he was the person you wanted to wake up to every morning, the person you wanted to come home to. he was the person with whom you wanted to spend your life with, the person that loved you so unconditionally and never expected anything in return. you were lucky that he chose you, that he loved you back. out of all the persons in the universe, it was him.

he was perfect and he was yours.

p.s.: if you've made it until the end: thank you so much for reading!

[satinsumu]

favour. || oikawa t.

word count: 2.9k

warnings: MINORS DNI, f!reader, explicit sex, oral sex, fingering, virginity loss, dirty talk, creampie

summary: your friend, the good samaritan oikawa, does you a favour by taking your virginity—a little too willingly.

a/n: written in one sitting on a whim and did not proofread lol please i loooove the first time trope

oikawa stares at you in disbelief, his warm, chocolate eyes wide and fixated on you.

“what?” you sigh, starting to regret casually mentioning that you’d never actually slept with anyone before. “why is that such a surprise to you? is it really such a bad thing?”

“no,” he quickly says, regathering his composure. “you’re just so cute, i’d expect a line of guys waiting to get at you.”

“they are,” you laugh teasingly, the sound causing his heart to flutter. “doesn’t mean i’d want to fuck them though—didn’t you tell me not to settle?”

“of course!” oikawa exclaims, a look of what appears to be slight relief washing across his face. “but you never got curious? just tried it even once?”

“it’s kind of scary,” you admit nonchalantly, never keeping secrets from your friend. “men are scary, honestly. you never know if they’re just gonna hit it and quit it.”

“yeah, your first time should definitely be with someone who cares about you,” he nods, throat feeling oddly dry.

you sigh in a way that says, i’ll-never-find-someone-like-that-so-why-even-bother?

oikawa licks his lips, and contemplates his next question.

“you always have me,” he chirps, a sickening sweet smile plastered across his face. “if you want your first time to be good, guaranteed.”

you want to smack him and tell him to stop joking, but the way your heart skips a beat tells you that this might just be all you ever wanted. and with the way he’s eagerly waiting your response, hiding behind the charming grin you know so well, you get a feeling that this could be something more than just a little favour he’s offering to do.

and that’s how you ended up in his room just one night later, the prettiest (but not overdone) lingerie set under your skirt and your hoodie as oikawa locks his door—not that he needs to.

he makes his way over to the side of his king-sized bed as you take a seat on the mattress, him towering over you with a casual smile on his face.

though, it feels like there’s something else to it. if you didn’t know any better, you’d think the great oikawa tooru, breaker of hearts, was nervous.

“so!” he chirps, clapping his hands together as his eyes linger on your thighs pressed against the blankets for a second too long. “is there anything off-limits?”

“uh,” you think for a moment, interlocking your fingers. “no anal.”

“no problem,” he hums with a nod. “anything else?”

“not really,” you say, fidgeting in place. this is so weird. “i guess i’ll just tell you if something comes up.”

“okay,” he agrees, unzipping his jacket as he tosses it onto the chair beside his desk. “one more thing—are you on the pill?”

“yeah?” you answer, tilting your head at him, the gears in your mind turning just a bit more slowly than his.

“cool. just wondering,” oikawa chuckles, eyes glimmering at you.

and with that, he closes the remaining space between your faces, locking his lips with yours and taking you by surprise. your eyes flutter shut instinctively, although you gasp into his mouth at the gesture.

oikawa takes the opportunity to slip his tongue between your teeth, swirling it around your own before biting your lower lip gently. 

you pull away briefly, short of breath at the unexpected kiss, eyes displaying a mixture of shock and confusion, though not unhappiness.

“kissing is important,” oikawa shrugs, face glowing with a bit too much content. 

he pulls you in by the nape of the neck once more, kissing you gently, but passionately. you slowly release the tension in your furrowed brows as you wrap an arm around his neck, unable to get enough of his minty breath, and the way he sucks at your tongue.

his hand slowly travels down from your cheek to the bottom of your hoodie, tugging at it once to gesture for you to let him take it off. you break the kiss for another moment as he hauls the article of clothing over your head, his eyebrow raising at the sight of you wearing nothing but a bra underneath.

“what’s the point in wearing a shirt if i’m just gonna take it off anyway?” you mumble, cheeks feeling hot under his gaze.

“you look pretty,” he beams at you.

you’re so flustered by his compliment—you two are just “friends,” after all—that you don’t notice the tent forming in his grey sweatpants.

before you can say anything in response, oikawa is crashing his lips against yours once more, this time with fervor, hunger, and desire. you struggle to keep up with the pace he’s set, occasionally panting in between kisses as he slips a hand into the cup of your bra.

you gasp at the contact, his hand slightly cold against your warm skin while he just smiles sweetly at you, gently pushing you down against his mattress by the shoulders. he leans back down to lock his lips with yours while still kneading your breast with one hand, the other pressed against the headboard above you. you don’t even noticed that he’s unclasped your bra and tossed it aside.

the area between your thighs begins to feel slightly warmer than before as you rub your legs together, taken aback by the sensation. oikawa pulls away from you for a second to take his shirt off, and you feel your heart lodge itself in your throat at the sight of his torso; his tan, muscular build is really something straight out of a magazine (literally).

“like what you see?” he smirks teasingly as you look away, but he uses one hand to turn your head back towards him. “eyes on me, baby.”

it’s in that moment you feel like you’re finally seeing the oikawa tooru that everyone else sees: the charismatic, experienced lady magnet that you’ve never even given the time of day.

a breath escapes you at the intimacy, but returns to your lungs in gasps once oikawa leans in to tower over you, his broad shoulders casting a shadow above your head. he begins trailing kisses down from your lips to your jawline, to your neck and your chest, then to each breast as he takes one of your nipples gently between his teeth.

“o-oika—” you stutter, squirming at the sensitivity, but he doesn’t stop.

“call me tooru when we’re in bed,” he enunicates, swirling his wet tongue around the bud. he can’t help but smirk at how cute you look, all hot and bothered underneath him.

the sensation of his saliva against the tip of your skin makes your heart pound, and it’s almost hard to focus on which breast feels better when he’s kneading the other one with his large, strong hands. 

you find yourself running your fingers through his hair as your eyes squeeze shut, the softness of his head oddly comforting as he continues to nip at your skin.

but the comfort doesn’t last for long.

you feel his lips leave your chest as they begin to travel further and further down, the trail of kisses left along your belly indicating exactly where he’s going. he hikes your skirt up to your waist with a flick of his wrist, marveling at the matching underwear you’re wearing beneath it.

“wow, just for me?” he coos, licking his lips. “i’m honoured.”

you wrack your brain for some sort of witty remark to wipe the shit-eating grin  off his face, but he plunges his hand between your thighs and draws a long, slow line against the thin cloth over your cunt before you can say anything.

“o-oikawa!” you cry, flinging your head against his pillow at the shock he just sent through your body. it was sudden, but... pleasurable.

“i told you,” he murmurs, gazing at you with dark eyes. “call me tooru.”

his last sentence comes out like a threat once you feel his finger slide up and down your underwear faster, the contact against your folds driving you crazy. you feel the fabric grow slightly damp as it gets wetter with every teasing stroke of his hand, and you know he can feel it too.

“feel good, princess?” he chuckles, unable to tear his eyes off of your flustered face while you give him small nods, too embarrassed to look at him. he pushes the middle section of your panties to the side with ease and slides a finger into you slowly, your arousal making it smooth for him to do so.

“so diiiirty,” he hums at the way your breath hitches, and the way his digits squelch against your juices. “and all i’ve done is put a finger in you.”

“f-feels good, tooru,” you breathe, looking at him with half-lidded eyes. oikawa feels himself get much harder at your reassurance, pride swelling up in his chest.

he hasn’t even fucked you properly yet.

“it better,” he grins cheekily. he slips another finger into you, moving in and out with languid motions so you can feel every bit of him as he curls his fingers upwards. 

you gasp at the way he seems to hit a spot inside you that feels a bit different than before, but whine once you feel him pull his fingers out.

“what’re you—ah!”

before you can finish your question, oikawa’s ducked his head between your legs, licking your juices up from your folds. he pulls the panties off of you before spreading your legs wide open and holding your thighs down firmly, the hem of your skirt resting gently against his head as he eats you out.

“oh my god, oh my god,” you pant, seeing stars in your eyes. you can’t believe oikawa tooru has his tongue in your cunt, licking up and down, teasing your clit like his life depends on it.

your hands grip the sheets in fistfuls as you stare at the ceiling, biting your bottom lip so hard you think it might bleed.

oikawa takes the small bud between your folds with his mouth and sucks, before dragging his tongue around it and licking your arousal off of your skin.

“mm,” he breathes into you, his voice muffled from below. “taste so... good...”

your juices are flowing onto his face as he laps it up relentlessly, his tongue sending spasms of pleasure through your body. a coil begins to build itself in your core, and you think you’re going to snap if he keeps going at this rate.

but the next second, the contact is gone.

“w-wait,” you whine, seeing oikawa get up from the edge of the bed.

oikawa doesn’t even bother hiding his amusement.

“don’t worry, i’ll let you cum tonight,” he reassures you, pulling down his sweatpants and revealing the huge bulge in his boxers. “just not with my mouth—not this time.”

your eyes widen at his size as he drags his remaining undergarments off, his cock springing out from beneath.

it looks big. and hard. 

like it’s swollen, and intimidating. you’re not sure if the veins along the side or the overall size make you more uneasy.

although oikawa seems to get a nice little ego boost from expression as he chuckles, “it’ll fit.”

you’re reminded of how he immediately deprived you of pleasure just now, and pout at him.

“just hurry uuuuup.”

“didn’t take you for an impatient one,” he laughs, leaning over you as he plants one hand beside your head, and gives his aching member a few good pumps with the other. “are you ready?”

you give him a small nod, biting your lower lip as he presses the tip of his cock against your folds. you feel a little tingle from the contact as you wrap your arms around his neck, perhaps out of desire for some comfort.

he slowly slides himself into you, pausing to let you adjust to his size as you hold your breath, before bottoming out and stretching you wide open. you squeeze your eyes shut at the foreign sensation, though it’s not unpleasant.

“doing okay?” he murmurs in your ear, to which you give him a small nod, still practically hugging him to your body. “i’m gonna start moving.”

you feel the sides of his cock drag along your walls inch by inch as he slowly pulls out of you, until the throbbing tip is just barely in between your folds. then, without warning, he thrusts himself deep inside you.

“ah!” you cry out, clinging onto him for dear life, but never telling him to stop. it feels good being clenched around him, your bodies so close together and fitting within each other like puzzle pieces. 

“fuck,” he hisses through gritted teeth. “you’re so damn tight.”

he slides himself out of you again and repeats the action, slowly gathering more speed until he’s really fucking you at a set tempo. 

you feel his hips snap against yours as he pulls himself in and out of you at a rapid pace, the mild discomfort slowly turning into pleasure.

“t-o-o-ru,” you gasp, your words split up with each of his thrusts into your body as you dig your nails into his skin.

“right here, baby,” he grunts, rutting into you with continuous force. “that feel good?”

“y-yeah,” you pant in his ear as he grips the headboard tightly, not giving a damn if the neighbours can hear the wood knocking against their wall. “f-feels so, ngh! good!”

“you’re so fucking tight,” he mutters, pulling out and slamming his throbbing cock back inside you, watching your body move back and forth on the bed with every one of his motions. “and you take my cock so well.”

he slides himself out of you briefly as you blink at the loss of contact, barely able to process what’s happening before he flips your body over.

“get on all fours,” he orders, with surprising authority—and need.

“i thought i said no anal,” you remark, though already getting into the position he wanted.

“relax,” oikawa smiles at you, tracing a finger slowly down your spine and onto your ass cheek, giving it a squeeze that sends tingles through your body.

your body twitches once you feel him rub the head of his cock against your folds, still wet from your arousal. he inserts himself back into your aching cunt that was tired of clenching around nothing, a new wave of pleasure washing over you.

“a-ah...” you moan, tossing your head back at the new sensation. you back yourself into him as you feel oikawa put both of his large hands on your body,  gripping your waist.

and once he starts to move, you know it won’t be long before you cum.

he’s thrusting himself into you mercilessly now, his cock so deep inside of your wet cunt that you feel like he’s literally rearranging your guts. 

“that’s it, baby,” he grunts with each snap of his hips. “doing so good.”

the pleasure is overwhelming as he hits a spot inside you that you didn’t even know could feel this way.

“tooru!” you cry, tears brimming your eyes at how hard he’s slamming his dick inside you, overcome with how fucking good it feels. “d-don’t stop.”

“i won’t until you cum,” he growls in your ear, leaning over so his chest is pressed against your sweaty back. “you gonna be a good girl and cum for me?”

you nod furiously as you bite your lip, small dribbles of saliva leaking out of your mouth at how good he’s fucking you. god, you look so angelic, wearing nothing but a tiny skirt, ass perked up just for him while he rails you into tomorrow.

“g-gonna cum,” you whimper at the same familiar coil building in your core from earlier as oikawa thrusts faster and faster, your tits bouncing back and forth as they hang above the mattress.

“cum for me, princess,” oikawa grates, barely holding onto his own orgasm with how tight you are around him. “taking my cock so well, letting me fuck you so good.”

“tooru-ah! tooru!” your cries of his name fill the room with the lewd slapping sounds of his balls against your ass, the unbelievable speed he’s ramming into you at on the cusp of desperation.

“let me see you fucking cum,” he curses, moving one hand between your thighs to play with your sensitive clit. the pleasure sears through your body as your vision grows slightly hazy from the stimulation. “cum on my cock, baby.”

“w-want you to cum inside,” you breathe, not sure of how much you can last longer. you don’t need to ask twice as he rubs fast circles with his slender fingers against your clit, cock still thrusting in and out of you with incomparable speed. “a-ah! t-tooru, i’m gonna c-cum!”

you feel the coil inside you snap as your walls clamp down against his cock, your juices flowing out of your cunt and down your thighs as oikawa continues grinding against you.

“f-fuck,” he curses, giving you one last, deep, hard thrust as you feel the tip of his cock touch your cervix, groaning as he chases his own orgasm right after yours. he’s still hugging you close to his body as you feel his warm seed spill inside you, the white fluids trickling onto the bed sheets in a mixture with your own.

you’re gasping, out of breath as oikawa pulls himself out of you, the two of you flopping onto the bed together. you lay in the quiet of each other’s pants, staring at the ceiling.

frankly, you’re still in a bit of disbelief over what just happened—you just let oikawa tooru, your friend, fuck you on his bed and take your virginity.

he made you cum. and made you beg for him—willingly.

“how’d it feel?” oikawa asks after a few seconds, breaking the silence with his familiar smile.

“good,” you admit with a giggle as oikawa turns his head to you, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

“wanna go again?”

[tsunonotarou]

With The Sky

— Malleus Draconia

notes: Who’s Leona again

word count: 732

gender-neutral reader

“Are…you sure about this, Tsunotarou?”

Your hesitance and nervousness saddened the fae. Do you not trust him enough? Do you not think he is powerful enough to lift you in the air alongside him? Oh, how wounded he is, and he intends to show it on his face.

“I– I don’t mean that I don’t trust you, Malleus! It’s just that…” he urged you to continue, tilting head. “From my world, it’s not everyday that you get to fly in the air. Like, flying flying…”

Lips curving into a smile, the prince took your hand in his, enjoying your blushed cheeks and the surprised sound it came with.

“Do not worry, Child of Man. I shall never let you be harmed.”

Tugging you closer, you now stand inches away from the prince, feeling his hand leave yours before gulping at the strong arm wrapped around your waist. You had to be close in order to fly with him, he said.

“Hold on tight, dear.”

Too occupied with the intimacy, his words went right over your head, so it was no surprise for the scream that left your lips once you feel yourself lifted in the air, pressed against one of the top five most powerful magicians.

He started off slow, taking in your expression and letting himself laugh a little at your adorable reaction. What a cute human you are.

You’re like a scared little baby, both arms wrapped around him tightly with no shame—not that he mind—and eyes darting everywhere, just your eyes, you didn’t dare to move a single muscle, too tense.

“Look at me.” Your whimpering made him reconsider this decision, perhaps this was too much for you after all. His heart sank at his inconsideration and failing to see how fragile a human can be—he thought he understood human behavior quite well—yet when he showed signs of going back down to concrete ground, he felt your hands clench the back of his blazer.

“Wait,” managing to pry your eyes off of the land that you were getting farther and farther away from, you chose to focus on your fae friend’s features. “I want to see the gargoyle up close, with you.”

Malleus could feel warmth bloom in him, a rare occurrence. The body of faes like him are rather…cold, it was in their nature and there was nothing unusual about it. To think a magicless human, from another mysterious world no less, could make him feel this different.

“You are so very interesting, my human.” A whisper left him, so silent that even at this closeness you could barely make out his words.

“What?” You innocently asked, looking much more relaxed now, brows no longer furrowed and there was no more shaking. Giving all your focus to him, Malleus quite likes it.

Smiling slightly, the fae shook his head and caressed your cheek. “Nothing.” Though, he quickly placed his arm around you again after seeing you panic. You feel safer with him having both arms around you.

Malleus suppressed a smile at your antics until something in the corner of his eyes caught his attention.

“Look,” excitement showing in his tone. “here we are.”

Turning, you now come face to face with your dorm building’s gargoyle. A little taken aback by the up-close scary sculpture, you instinctively cling to your companion tighter.

“Isn’t it astonishing? The details…the smooth and precise carvings…”

At this moment, you could clearly see the adoration in the fae’s eyes. He really loves his gargoyles. Your giggle prompted him to look at you with a quirk of his brow.

“It’s nice seeing you so passionate about something.”

For a moment, Malleus didn’t know what to reply. No one has ever said this to him. Aside from you, the people he have talked about gargoyles with always looked as if they were being punished. Having a look of dread on their faces, it was very obvious despite how hard they try to conceal it due to respect for him, that was the reason why he always cut those conversations short.

“Well, yes…” his lips pursed, searching for an appropriate response. “It’s nice listening to you talk about things you love as well.”

Flashing him a grin, the fae fears for his well-being, for his heart is beating so erratically because of a simple gesture.

Oh, he should confess his feelings for you soon, shouldn’t he?

[katsukis-angel]

NSFW Alphabet - Beelzebub

❥ Warnings ~ NSFW / Smut

❥ A / N ~ Ahh this is my first time writing anything like this 😳 I hope I did okay 🥺

❥ Fanart ~ Pinterest, Lotus Kaetzchen 💗

･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

❥ This baby is so gentle with you afterwards, he makes sure that you’re all cleaned up, getting you a drink and a snack, constantly checking you’re okay, especially considering how big demons are against humans

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

❥ Beels favourite body part are thighs and breasts, like chicken ha, he doesn’t care how big or small they are he just loves them! As for you your body part on him would be either his thighs or his arms, his arms are just so strong and warm and his thighs are just huge! This boy has some serious muscle 😳

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

❥ He makes quite a lot, so he doesn’t mind where he does it as long as you’re comfortable with it, personally though he likes cumming inside

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

❥ He’s always wanted you to lick cream off of his dick - he just thought you’d look cute doing it

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

❥ He’s actually decently experienced, but most of the girls he was with didn’t really want him because they loved him they used him for his status and body 😖, so he’s a little nervous about going straight into it again - however once he’s comfortable with you he will be amazing!

❥ Hes very good with his tongue

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

❥ Either classic missionary or with you say on his lap, he likes being in control but he doesn’t mind - either way he loves being able to see you

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

❥ Hes unintentionally goofy, like sometimes he’ll say something that makes you giggle and he gets a little confused but smiles with you, however he’s also a little clumsy too because he’s just so big so you’ve had your fair share of broken beds and banged heads

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

❥ Well it depends, he doesn’t always bother shaving but sometimes he does it, he will work with whatever you want tbh, but overall he tends to have trimmed himself well

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

❥ Hes so sweet and romantic 🥺 he likes to praise you and make sure you’re feeling okay, constantly checking that you’re enjoying yourself and that your comfortable - sometimes he sets up a bath with scented candles or he puts rose petals on the bed, this boy can be so romantic sometimes

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

❥ He doesn’t actually do it that much - occasionally he feels the need, and he did it a lot more before he met you. He had a lot of self control though.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

❥ His top two are his size kink and breeding kink, he’s very protective of you and they play into his kinks, because he’s around (I say this idk if it’s cannon) 7,0 tall anyone is smaller than him but still he likes the difference in size he finds it adorable and gives him an ego boost - also he can carry you - and breeding kink is simply from his demonic nature he just feels the need to claim what’s his, kind of thing. As for other kinks probably pet play or food play.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

❥ He’s a simple guy - he mostly likes doing it in either his room or yours, yours being his preferred space so that his brother isn’t around (not that Mammon doesn’t barge into yours all the time anyway). He would also like doing it either in the kitchen / dining room or at the gym

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

❥ He has this one thing that really gets him going and it’s whenever you feed him - he finds it adorable and he feels so loved it spreads all over his body. As well as that whenever you’re close up against him, whether that’s being cramped in a hallway or on a bus (if they even have busses in Devildom lmao), the thought of being so close but yet so far excites him

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

❥ Anything that really hurts you - so he wouldn’t mind spanking but stuff that is painful for you and doesn’t provide you any pleasure

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

❥ He likes giving - after all eating is his favourite thing to do - he could spend hours eating you out. However he loves it when you give because his size kink really comes out to play

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

❥ He is fast and a little rough but only if you want him to be. On more romantic nights he will be a lot of sensual and slow, really he only cares as long as you’re feeling okay with it

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

❥ Loves them! He thinks they’re great! It means he can do it and then go get some food then come back again and just keep repeating this process till you’re tired

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

❥ Tbh he doesn’t mind experimenting, whatever you wanna do he down for! He’s not letting you peg him though so don’t even think about it - I can see you thinking about it - not without a food bribe anyway

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

❥ SO MANY OMG - like you haven’t even found out how many times this boy can go, he just keeps going and is just down for whatever whenever, good luck thinking you can outlast him or tire him out - it’s not happening

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

❥ Reallu this one is up to you - he doesn’t mind you using toys but he prefers it to just be him that helps you get off but whatever keeps you happy keeps him happy

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

❥ Sometimes he loves teasing you, it’s in his nature he is a demon afterall. He likes teasing you by intentionally forgetting his shirt around the house, soemtimes if you have food on your face he lick it off and he can get a little grabby at times

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

❥ Hes not particularly loud, he groans a lot though and likes to whisper small praises against your ear and moan into your ears

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

❥ Hes always wanted to be sucked off under a table as he eats his favourite food - it would be his idea of heaven

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

❥ 10 ... 10 whole inches - honestly it’s scary - I mean it’s really pretty but it’s just so big 😳 hence why he is constantly making sure that you’re okay ...

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

❥ Decently high - tbh he’s down to do it whenever you’re interested however when he wants it he gets very needy and cute

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

❥ Awww this little cutie falls asleep so quickly, he gets grouchy if he hasn’t had enough sleep, but he feels happy to sleep though because he’s got you snuggled against him and a full stomach of snacks

･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.