#not just people on tumblr who i may or may not talk to outside of tumblr occasionally

[arionawrites]

i don’t know if anyone cares about what i have to say on instagram, but here’s some word vomiting about the beauty of existence and snapshots of life by me

[microwaving-tesilid-argente]

.

[curlicuecal]

Hey, let's talk about anons like this, because I know some people haven't been in a position to see the patterns these play out in on broader scale and may indeed not spot the trap.

And it is a trap.

An ask like this has several purposes.

First, it uses social justice language in passive aggressive and manipulative ways to try to coerce a behavior. In this case, the desired behavior is usually for the recipent to participate in community shunning and/or harrassment. The language above is intended to put the recipient on the defensive where, in the haste to disassociate themself from the Bad Thing, they quickly disassociate themself from the bad person, often with no particular fact checking or evidence.

The message is also intended to create a sense of being surveilled and judged by an unknown amount of people with unknown amount of social power and an unknown amount of relevance to your life.

Notice that these asks are usually framed as if they are coming from a follower or potential follower, someone who is addressing you personally and who cares about your opinion and who your blog has an effect on. However this is usually.... very much not the case. If you've ever had the misfortune to watch a gossip campaign from like this from the outside, you will very quickly notice that messages like this get sent in mass batches to dozens and dozens of strangers. (You can often turn these up with a tumblr search, if you look.)

The sender does not know you and probably does not follow you. They have a person they don't like (possibly for their stated reason and possibly not), and they are going through the reblogs of a post from that blog and mass messaging *everyone* with a form letter. They will not see your response and they will probably never even see your blog again.

Which brings us to the second goal of whisper campaigns like this:

Notice that I blacked out the names above? That's because when the recipient answers anonymous asks like this, they provide a platform for the opinion on their blog. An anonymous message like this that gets posted doesn't just spread gossip and apply pressure to the recipient, it is spread to the recipient's entire community.

The *goal* is to get access to your community. The *goal* is to use you as a soapbox.

Is the information accurate? Did anyone check? Does the anon have an ulterior social motive? BIG SHRUG

If you go into the comments on one of these whisper campaigns you will see that *most people never bother to check.*

They assume good faith from a follower, they're off balance defending themselves, and they jump straight to conciliation.

It's a really, really effective form of social manipulation, and really really commonly misused.

[irrealisms]

i've seen a lot of people talk about mcyt as a constantly burning library of alexandria recently, and to some extent that's true. people are constantly deleting their blogs, going scorched earth with animatics, fanfics, etc., that they made. but i've also seen people (three in the last few days!) make this claim about VODs, when talking about large fandoms like DSMP and QSMP, and.... guys. that was true in 2020. that's not true anymore. archivists have been working tirelessly for years now to make sure that isn't true.

the dsmp VOD masterlist is here. in november 2020, it's missing 16 VODs, if i am counting correctly--which is still a fairly small minority, but it's a lot, and it sucks!--but in november of 2021, it's missing one, and that's because the cc of that VOD does copyright takedowns, not because the archivists didn't save it. no one in the archivist project is deleting VODs off youtube with no backups the way people are deleting fanfics. three months ago, one of my dsmp archivist friends finished coding a tool that let them reconstruct VODs out of twitch clips, and reconstructed six tubbo dsmp VODs from 2020. not only are we basically not losing VODs anymore, we are actively gaining VODs that have been lost for years, that were thought to be lost forever. the library isn't burning anymore; it's being rebuilt.

the qsmp VOD masterlist is here. it is usually a month or two behind the present day, to give creators time to archive their own VODs, but... look at it. in january of 2024, every single qsmp vod was archived. the same is true of december of 2023, and november, and the vast majority of months for the past year.

i'm not going to say that there isn't a problem. just a few days ago, i realized that a lifesteal VOD from last year was missing--that its youtube upload was messed up somehow, and no one noticed and it wasn't mirrored on the internet archive and the person who uploaded it deleted the original file. and now it's gone forever. this made me super sad! like i said: i'm not going to say that there isn't a problem.

but... look at the lifesteal VOD masterlist here. lifesteal's a smaller fandom than qsmp or dsmp. open the 2022 tab and you'll see months and months of lost VODs, of no one's VODs being saved, because there weren't any archivists saving them. then open the 2023 tab and see: they lost four VODs, over the course of a year. even in smaller fandoms, archivists are working. they're making progress. they're saving VODs. in 2024, lifesteal archivists screenrecorded five streams on tumblr live to make sure they would not become lost media. mcyt may be a constantly burning library of alexandria, but the people with fire extinguishers are dedicated. they're making incredible progress. i know people with petabytes of VODs saved, who have spent money on extra storage for this. i know people who are constantly running up against their storage limits as they download/upload to the internet archive/delete for space/rinse and repeat. a decent fraction of the time, my internet at home is slow because it's downloading VODs.

and these aren't the only mcyt fandoms with archiving projects! the outsiders smp VOD masterlist is here. origins smp VOD masterlist is here. smp earth VOD masterlist is here. rats smp VOD masterlist is here. there are so many others that i just don't happen to know about. the older and smaller a fandom is, the more likely it is to not have an attached archiving project, or for the archive to be missing a lot of VODs. but... guys, we've saved a lot. there are people out there, working tirelessly to save even more. yes, mourn what we have lost--the archivists i know are also the ones mourning the most for the VODs that are, in fact, forever lost media. but don't dismiss how much people have saved. we are making progress. we are losing less and less every month. the vast majority of the dsmp and qsmp still exist, i am not going to say they're the same experience as watching live because they're really not, but.. they're out there. people have put in a lot of work to save them.

if you have publicly available VOD masterlists or other mcyt archiving projects that aren't on this post, please add them in a reblog. i want this post to serve as a reference for how much archivists have saved in this community; unfortunately, i'm not super connected to every community. but i know that--for every person deleting things, there are people working, tirelessly & with little external reward, in so many different mcyt fandoms, to save things. and we should appreciate that more often.

[dailymanners]

Bear with me because I am about to rant about something not blog related that's been grating on me ever since this blog gained more traction

USAmericans being Americancentric vs. Europeans every single time someone says something they don't like or don't agree with or is just coming from a place of different experiences than them assuming you MUST be a USAmerican coming from a place of Americancentrism: fight

For context, I do not live in the U.S., and do not base my posts off of experiences in the U.S., and as much as I find it annoying that sometimes USAmericans reply to my posts with assumptions that their experiences are universal, for example USAmericans replying to my post about closing the lid before you flush with "but public toilets don't have lids!" when they do in my country, I find it equally annoying if not even more annoying with how much Europeans assume that every time I post something they disagree with or is a different experience than them that I must be USAmerican and coming from a place of Americancentrism

For example when I made a post saying "use excuse me if you have to get into someone else's personal space" I had a bunch of British people replying to it something along the lines of "Are you Americans so uncivilized that you're not taught basic manners like this? Good thing us civilized Brits know to use excuse me!" when, again, I do not live in the U.S., the post was based on experiences I had here in my country and again, not in the U.S.

Or when I made a post just saying "don't be rude to people who got you a present you don't like" because I've had experiences here in my country of people sneering at and tossing aside presents they didn't live or even yelling at or scolding the gift giver just because it wasn't a color that they like, I did not say that you have to pretend to like it, just don't be rude and sneer at them or yell at the gift giver, but I still had a bunch of Germans replying something like "well you Americans may think you have to pretend to like gifts you don't actually like but us Germans believe in being honest!" (even though that's not even what I was saying) when again, I am not in the U.S., I have never said that I am in the U.S., this was based on experiences in my country which is not the U.S., but Europeans had to go and assume everyone who says something they don't fully like or agree with must be USAmerican.

And I know it's not just me, I've seen a lot of posts from people here on Tumblr in South American or Asia saying that Europeans are always assuming they're USAmerican and coming from a place of Americancentrism when they talk about their experiences in South American or Asia.

I saw a quote one time that was something like "USAmericans believe the entire world is the U.S. while Europeans believe the entire world is Europe + the U.S."

but the thing is that I DO live in Europe, my country is a small northern European country, but of course my experiences are going to be different than someone who is British or German or Swedish, but it's like people from those countries so often assume their experiences are universal to everyone in their country + the rest of Europe, so if a British person experiences being taught to use excuse me that MUST be universal to Europe, and that apparently nobody outside of Europe and the U.S. is on Tumblr, so if I experience being shoved by people who don't use excuse me (in my tiny northern European country) that MUST mean I live in the U.S. and MUST be USAmerican since their British experiences MUST be universal to everyone else on this website who isn't USAmerican

[determinate-negation]

IMPORTANT update on mohammed's campaign!

mohammed almanasra @save-mohamed-family has unfortunately been having issues with fundraising. his first campaign was shut down by the bank and GFM without him getting any of the money he raised. recently he had some concerns about the person hosting his second campaign because he has only been receiving a small percentage of the funds raised and the host wouldn’t send receipts. he thought it'd be best if we started a new campaign with me hosting it and shut down the old campaign. i'll be organizing this now so hopefully there will be no problems and i can be transparent with him about the finances. also in a stronger currency (USD)

mohammed has been verified by @el-shab-hussein and is on the Vetted Gaza Fundraiser List #192 with this updated link now

you may have seen my other posts about his campaign, mohammed and i talk frequently and its so awful what he's been through in this genocide:

mohammed lost his mother, father, and four sisters who were killed in a bombing, and is now living in tents with his remaining family members, his wife and three young children. he was seriously injured in his foot and it may need to be amputated, but he told me that hes doesn't care if he loses his foot he just doesn't want to lose his family. his wife has uterine cancer but hasn't been able to get treatment recently because the genocidal israeli army has destroyed health centers. his children are suffering from infectious diseases spreading throughout gaza, and the little medical treatment available is very expensive. here’s a photo of his kids who instead of having a normal childhood have to struggle to survive.

they've been displaced recently again, because of the israeli army changing the location of so called 'humanitarian zones,' and every displacement is expensive and exhausting, with no guarantee that where they are forced to move to is actually safe. right now mohammed told me he doesn't have good enough internet to use tumblr unless he goes to a internet hot spot which are often more dangerous because the idf targets people there. he knows it's risky but fundraising online is the only way he can support his family right now.

mohammed has made posts on his blog about their situation and i do encourage you to read his own words, because i am merely summarizing conditions that are far worse than any of us from outside can really comprehend

the pain of losing so many family members, your home, your job, your city, and everything you have is already unimaginable. please dont let him lose any more of his family. donate to this campaign and if you cant, share it with someone who can.

especially if you have a degree of disposable income i implore you to think about what you can reasonably give. it could be relatively small adjustment for you but make a significant difference for someone else. thank you very much everyone who participated already for starting this out with some donations.

$205 raised of $50,000 USD

[totallybakedcake]

Boyfriend headcanons kaiju no 8 boys

Reno

Whenever you both are outside training or near anyone, he does nothing more affectionate than holding your hand at most, but when you both are at home, he does not let go of you. Back hugging you and snuggling into you. It's his favorite thing to do.

He loves to be the little spoon while cuddling. He always wants to be in your embrace while sleeping, or else he cannot sleep all night. "Name, can we please cuddle? I had a rough day." He says in such an adorable voice that how could you deny him?

He is a great cook and always makes you mouth-watering dishes to eat all day. He just loves seeing you enjoy his dishes and eat them so cutely.

He loves at-home dates. He just loves watching any movies, shows, or anime you want to watch as he cuddles you. When you both had your anniversary and you were in the mood for something fancy, he decorated the living room with flowers, teddy bears, chocolates, and gifts to surprise you. 

Hoshina

He absolutely loves it when you pamper him with all your affection. Cupping his face. Giving him onslaught kisses, burying your head in his neck. Whenever he thinks about that, His day becomes one of the best.

Hoshina is an overly protective boyfriend. The moment he comes home, he checks your body for any wounds. Whenever he even sees you interact with one of the juniors, he makes sure the both of you don't talk for more than 3 minutes, or else the game is over. He makes sure you feel safe and protective.

Hoshina loves giving you a flower and chocolate every day. He always has a bundle of chocolates with him and goes to a local flower shop to get you any cute flower.

He loves picnic dates and afternoon dates. He loves to take you to a quiet park. Lay down a blanket and rest in your lap as you and him talk for hours and hours. Picnic dates are usually in the morning, as he likes to take you out on brunches too. 

Kafka

He is the most affectionate boyfriend. He gives you many warm hugs every day. He loves to kiss your temple as you relax on top of him.

He loves hearing you talk. Your voice is just so comforting. He brings you to his lap and burys his face in your neck as you talk about anything.

He does not show his jealous side, as he knows you are loyal to him, but one thing he makes sure of is that you have a healthy routine. If he does not know that you have eaten well, slept well, and are drinking plenty of water, he has to check up on you because his mind keeps thinking about you.

Even though he does not look like it. Kafka is a fancy man. He takes you out to fancy restaurants to eat at on dates. He always has a private reservation ready for you and him. After all, your happiness is Kafka's happiness.

Gen

Gen has made you obsessed with gaming too. After all, games are addicting. He got you all kinds of gaming consoles and game figures to play with him.

A lot, meaning everyone asks you. Why choose Gen? An irresponsible captain who has such an attitude and is careless, but what they haven't seen is Gen's soft side. He makes sure you are okay. He cannot focus on anything unless you are safe. Once on a Kaiju mission when you got injured. Gen stayed up all night. Not touching his games or electronics once, as he needed to take care of you and make sure you were safe. Not letting you go on a mission unless you are recovered.

Even if he is loyal. He is the most jealous person ever. He knows your beauty and your aura, which makes people gravitate towards you. So, he makes sure to have you near him at all times, not letting you even talk to a guy in peace.

He loves arcade dates and karaoke dates, but if you don't want to go there, He takes you to amusement parks and water parks. Gen loves an adventure.

Hey yall. First ever post on tumblr so the writing may be tacky and awkward cause I wrote this in the middle of the night but I couldn't stop myself from writing for kaiju no 8 after finishing the whole manga in 4 days.

Have a great day!

[shijiujun]

A Summary: The Spirealm | 致命游戏 (Kaleidoscope of Death 死亡万花筒 Live Action) & Why You Should (Eventually) Watch It

Talk about the most short-lived drama release ever, not even totalling two hours if I recall. Creating this summary as I've seen a handful of confused friends, so here it goes!

It's going to be a long review because I sped through all 78 episodes and only properly watched the first two doors, but I got you. You'll get both the brief book rundown and the drama parts!

If you just wanna see the bromance (LOVE) parts please skip to section 4!!!!

1. Overview

Title: The Spirealm (kinda awful I'm sorry it's a mouthful) or 致命游戏 which means fatal game

Adapted From: Danmei (BL) Kaleidoscope of Death by Xi Zixu

Novel Prints: There are GORGEOUS Thai, Vietnamese, Simplified and Traditional Chinese versions printed, AND Singapore publisher Rosmei has signed the license for the ENGLISH version, probably going on sale this year (preview is here). You can still access fan translations by Taida on I think wordpress and someone else on Tumblr sorry bad memory (they did half and half each) if you'd like to read it for context. It is one of my FAVE danmeis EVER and I am a die-hard OG book fan, check out my full danmei review here.

Total Episodes: 78 (20 minutes each with the exception of last episode which 10 minutes, with several BTS not that I think we will get to see all of them yet)

Where to Watch (LOL): Erm considering that iQIYI China AND International took the episodes down, there is no legal way to watch this, BUT thanks to some cnetz with super fast and great wifi, we managed to get ripped HD versions without subs. iQIYI is very hard on copyright though, they've taken down several subbed and unsubbed versions already on YouTube, but you should type the titles of show into Twitter and the top tags will tell you where to access the raws and very little subbed episodes, that may also be taken down at any point. I have the Chinese raws but as it's hosted on a cloud, I had to pay to access it.

Main Characters: Lin Qiushi & Ruan Nanzhu/Ruan Baijie (in the novel) and Ling Jiushi & Ruan Nanzhu/Ruan Baijie (in the drama)

Produced By: iQIYI so for SURE they won't film it fully BL even if the original is, but I've seen enough bromance cuts

Main Actors: Xia Zhiguang (Ruan Nanzhu/Ruan Baijie) + Huang Junjie (Ling Jiushi)

2. Summary

Book (drama follows closely if not removing the supernatural premises): Lin Qiushi, a designer, opens the door to his home one day from inside and sees 12 iron doors outside. Confused, he opens one of them and arrives at a snow covered village in the mid of winter, and meets Ruan Baijie, who's a pretty, unusually tall and whiny/timid woman. They realise that they're in a horrifying door game, and they'll have to find a door and a key to get out, while battling a long-haired, human-eating deity. They, along with a few others, have to survive day after day until they get out, and on the first night, two people have died in gory ways. Ruan Baijie and Lin Qiushi partner each other, and despite seemingly timid and crying all the time, she saves Lin Qiushi a few times mysteriously, and Lin Qiushi finds himself trusting in Ruan Baijie.

They get through the door together and when they leave successfully, Lin Qiushi realizes that the people who died in the door will die in real life by some freak accident too - car accidents, forced suicides, a robbery gone wrong, a lift trapped in the air and going ablaze, and more. That night, Lin Qiushi wakes up to see a super handsome and tall Ruan Nanzhu at his bedside and this man feels familiar to him, but he can't put a finger on it. All he can think of when Ruan Nanzhu says his name is Ruan Baijie (ahem he would later find out who it is of course). Ruan Nanzhu takes him to his mansion in the suburbs where he meets a group of other people just like them, who're forced to go through the doors for survival. Ruan Nanzhu then invites him to join Obsidian, his organization.

Through various doors, Lin Qiushi grows and supports a super intelligent and powerful Ruan Nanzhu, falls in love with him, gets through many many scary doors with him and some of their other team members, makes friends, loses them to the cruelty of the doors as they ponder over what the door means, and what being alive/dying means.

And at the end of it, at the end of of it all, when they're all good and living their life, Lin Qiushi also finds out what Ruan Nanzhu's secret is, and the lengths to which Ruan Nanzhu went to, just to be with him.

Drama: Ling Jiushi is a VR game designer who gets pulled into a game, and he meets Ruan Baijie (in his male form) right off the bat (SO NOT CROSSDRESSING I AM SAD). All the parts are actually the same as the novel, albeit with the game setting and Ling Jiushi and Ruan Nanzhu's identity adjustments to suit the game premise. Most of the other doors and their lines are the same, just that the ending is a bit more confusing than it could be. There's a big bad as well and they actually show the opposing organizations when in the novel, these other organizations aside from Obsidian didn't even actually have a face or goal to them.

3. Characters

^ Them in the book (based on manhua that never got to go live LOL) (RNZ/RBJ left, LQS right)

^ Them in the show (LJS left, RNZ right)

Ruan Nanzhu/Ruan Baijie: MY HANDSOME CROSSDRESSING INTELLIGENT ALOOF BUT WHINY (WHEN IT COMES TO LIN QIUSHI) SASSY BOSS!!!! He's super mysterious and super thick-skinned too, and all he wants is Lin Qiushi's attention the moment he meets him. He's intrigued by Lin Qiushi's calm and his brains and the way he handles things, and has a lot of trust for him right from the get-go. This is also shown in the drama itself. As the leader of Obsidian, he cares a lot for his team members and his friends even if he doesn't show it most of the time, and the last thing he wants to do is lose Lin Qiushi, and he would do ANYTHING for Lin Qiushi, ANYTHING!!! Just look at him whining:

Ling Jiushi (Lin Qiushi): In the novel he's super calm, has quite a lot of brains, a little bit of a blur in the beginning but he's super smart as well. Worries a lot for Ruan Nanzhu and is also a loyal friend to some of his only friends, and feels a lot when he loses them. Falls gradually in love with Ruan Nanzhu in the novel, like they just belong together. In this drama, Ling Jiushi holds that same trust for Ruan Nanzhu, but in demeanour he seems a bit more like a klutz and and not as cool as he was in the novel, but I guess it's acceptable. Literally like the only thing he loves more than RNZ (maybe) is his cat Chestnut LOL and RNZ is NOT really happy about that but Chestnut LOVES RNZ

Yixie and Qianli: CUTEST TWINS ;-; WHO TREAT RNZ and LQS as their big brothers LOOK AT THEM BOWING AND RNZ/LJS like parents LMAO

A handful of other characters who will keep turning up and get your hearts ;-;

4. ALL FAVE BROMANCE MOMENTS + TROPES

THEY TOUCH EACH OTHER A LOT LIKE HOLDING HANDS AND TOUCHING FACES, PIGGY BACKING?!?! DID I MENTION FACE TOUCHING

WHUMP WHUMP WHUMP WHUMP THEY HELP EACH OTHER WHEN HURT OR GET HURT FOR EACH OTHER

AND WHEN THEY WAKE UP IN BED THE OTHER IS AT THEIR BEDSIDE

AND DID I MENTION HE FEEDS HIM IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE

AND THAT THEY DATED UNDER THE FIREWORKS LIKE THE NOVEL DOES NOT EVEN HAVE THIS SHIT

AND THE KABEDONS

AND FINALLY RUAN NANZHU RIZZ OMG

5. Settings

They REALLY OUTDID THEMSELVES. THIS JUST FROM DOORS 1-6:

THEY LOOK EXACTLY LIKE THE NOVEL DESCRIBED!!!!

6. Overall Thoughts

PROS: This was NOT a cheap production, I'm telling you, they followed the cases very well and there're a lot of super recognisable lines, if not ALL of them, even if they changed the cases a little. I think they did it because in the novel originally, the author DOES leave a lot of details hanging like someone dies and you know he had a background and there are some shady things happening but the author NEVER actually goes into detail. So the drama did their best to cover these loopholes, even if it felt a little awkward at times. Money went into settings and attires and every damn thing, this looks EXPENSIVE. And if you've ever imagined each door and the bosses inside in your head, you might have felt chills go down your spine because damn did they really colour the book's settings for me (despite its differences). DID I MENTION that Xia Zhiguang really got the damn memo and he was a passable Ruan Nanzhu/Ruan Baijie who knew how to turn on his BL eyes. PLUS they really did some of the character deaths really well - they're technically some of the biggest parts of this story so ;-; (not two main of course)

CONS (maybe): They did away with the supernatural/horror premise and replaced it with a GAME premise, which means that there's a scientific element to it and the try to explain away stuff with the game, including the ending. I don't 100% get the ending, but the feel/vibe is about the same. Might not be for hardcore reader fans tho! They skipped out on a couple of doors, some of which were my faves, but it's fine, it's long enough LOL. They give away/explain some of the clues and surprises super early which means you don't get that added boom at the back as well. Despite that, I have to say they tried to round up the loopholes from the book as much as they could and give it an explanation while tying elements/conspiracies across doors (probably also to save cast fees LOL). And as always it's not a solid ending, it's an open confusing one, and even more confusing than the book itself because THERE IS NO CERTAIN HAPPILY EVER AFTER WITH HUBBY for it (there is in the book tho, they live together happily every after). Secondl,y, I'd say HJJ's acting is a bit stiff and OOC compared to the novel, but Xia Zhiguang really made up for it.

-------

HOPE THIS HELPS YOU GUYS!!! But I guess if you need subs it's going to be a long LONGGGG ride, considering that iQIYI doesn't seem to be going to be able to put it up anytime soon CRIES.

[thefallennightmare]

Just Pretend-Twenty Six

*gif created by me. feel free to use, simply give credit*

Parings: Noah Sebastian x Musician! Reader

Warnings/Tropes: language, angst, fluff, smut, star-crossed lovers, right person/wrong time, cheating, talks of mental abuse.

Summary: “I can wait for years, heaven knows I’m not getting over you.” A story about two star-crossed lovers, that always find their way back because their souls are entwined. The universe desperately attempts to bring them together, no matter what the cost.

Authors Note: Again, just a reminder to people who may not have seen the very important update. Sarah is no longer a part of JP due to her own choice and wanting to go a different direction. She was a big part of this and gave me fabulous ideas that helped build this story. But from this moment forward, it will be only me. Nothing major will change, I'll still be the one writing it and posting it. But I had to rework a lot of things; some I know all of you will enjoy!

TAGS ARE CLOSED! Tumblr won't allow me to tag anyone else, I'm so sorry!

So with that being said, ENJOY THIS CHAPTER MY LOVES!

Tags[CLOSED]: @blueskylinesx @missduffsblog @hayleylatour @sleepyomens @loeytuan98 @artificialbreezy @marvelousmal @bngurngheart @lma1986 @dsireland86 @wild-child-7747 @calleyx13 @illmakeyousaywow @jaded-and-hollow-souls @exitwoundsx @shayzillaaaa @badomensls @princesspeach-00 @shadowseve @collective-heartbreak @klutzy-kay24 @sorrowsofsilence @sweetlittlekitsune @shilohrosechicken @itsafullmoon @toospooktocute @niicoleleigh @thatchickwiththecamera @hoe-for-daddywise @whenthesummerdies @cookiesupplier @concreteemo @thisbicc @sammyjoeee @joe9cool @ozwriterchick @teenblues @malice-ov-mercy @krisslee18 @xxkittenkissesxx @happi-goth @embracethereaper42 @softvgold @cncohshit @heyyoplayer @rain-down-on-me @bloody-delusion-expert @respectfulrebel @reader13000 @koskeepsake @malerieee @cheyyyyr @myownthoughts12 @noahsbong @laurpartyprogram @cloudykoookie @jessiskyee @a1ex-ba1ex @sideeyenoah @emzandthevoid @badomensls @bellaboo967 @waake-mee-up @rxdlstgn @anthemheatwave @lobolocaamo @cncohshit @amelia-acero @karenfranco @collidewiththesavannah @xserenax-13 @bleachampion @thepastelfae @supersquirrel1996 @madomens @themodern-daywednesday @oxythoughtin7715

NOAH

I drummed my fingers along the wood of the table, humming a soft beat to myself while the hustle and bustle of the cafe moved around me. Conversations were muted as my dark eyes stared out the large window next to the booth I’d been sitting in for the last hour and watched as people went about their days.

“I'm so afraid that the walls that I have made have locked me in. I'm not okay, but I can try my best to just pretend,” I sang under my breath, still gazing outside. 

The thought of wondering what those individuals were going through privately lingered in my mind for a few beats before a certain movement caught my eye. My heart began to beat widely in my chest, seeing those soft waves brush along her bare shoulders due to the wind. The brightness of the sun paled in comparison to the yellow of her sundress. My gaze lingered on her long legs, tracing over the design of her Greek Gods tattoo on her thigh then over to the other thigh where one of her favorite tattoos was on full display. 

The album artwork of nothing, nowhere’s second album Reaper. 

I continued to look over all of her other tattoos as she walked closer to the cafe where I waited for her. The flowers and leaves on her left arm and Kaonashi on her right arm. As she stepped closer to the window, I saw the small Totoro tattoo on her inner ankle and the memory of us getting our somewhat matching tattoos on her birthday came to mind, causing me to smile fondly. 

The door opened, the old bell above it ringing loudly, causing the woman behind the counter to brush away the silver strands of hair from her face. The two women smiled at each other before one of them waved. 

“Usual?” The woman behind the counter asked. 

“You know me so well, Astrid.” 

“Hi, angel,” I smiled as Y/N’s eyes found mine in the busy crowd of Fika. 

“Hi yourself, Mochi,” she placed a gentle kiss on my cheek before sitting next to me in the booth. 

Immediately I wrapped my arm around her and pulled her into my chest, breathing in her familiar scent of peaches that lingered on her skin. 

“How was therapy?” I asked after handing her one of Fika’s famous kanelbullar, which she took with a grateful smile. 

“Good,” she licked her sticky fingers. 

My cock twitched in my shorts and I discreetly had to adjust myself underneath the table. 

“We talked about my parents,” Y/N sighed. 

The last couple of weeks her mom had been trying to call her, Y/N never answering because she didn’t want her mom to affect her mentally. Any time they had a conversation, it drained Y/N. 

Her dad, however, they talked almost every other day for a few minutes. But the last phone call had been more than three days ago because he’d been sick and couldn't find the strength to talk. It worried both Y/N and I but her dad reassured us that it was merely the flu and he’d be back on his feet in no time. 

“Have you texted your dad to check in?” I asked while playing with the ends of her hair. 

She somberly nodded. “A bit. But he’s still fighting the flu. Maybe I’ll facetime him once I’m back at your place.”

I kissed the side of her head. “What about your mom?” 

I knew the subject of her mom was always sore for her but I still tried to help her keep that connection. 

“She keeps discrediting everything I’ve done with Hollow Souls,” Y/N snorted. “I’ll talk to her once I’m more level headed and don’t say something out of line.”

Even though she didn’t say it, I knew she was done talking about her parents, so instead I motioned towards Astrid who stood behind the counter. 

“They haven't said one word to each other,” I informed her before pointing to Jolly.

Whenever he wasn’t busy with Bad Omens, he would be here helping Astrid run Fika. 

“I wonder what happened. They seemed so happy at the aquarium last week,” Y/N frowned. 

I rubbed her shoulder. “I think she’s still dealing with the aftermath of her fathers death. Jolly mentioned that she had a nightmare the other night; something about finding her dad.” 

Y/N cursed under her breath, still keeping her gaze on our two best friends. It was as if they were employees, by passing each other with curt nods, and not a couple that was slowly falling in love with each other. After everything they’d gone through to get where they were, it made my heart hurt for them. It seemed as if the shift happened a few days ago after Jolly officially moved in with her. 

“I know she was interested in seeing Dr. Poulos. Maybe that will help her open up,” Y/N said. 

We watched in silence for a moment as Jolly went to move past Astrid behind the counter to refill the coffee maker. It was a tight squeeze so he had to rest his hand against her lower back and even from this distance, I could see a small flicker of light in her eyes. Both of them shared a look and Jolly leaned down to kiss her lips; both of their bodies relaxing into each other. 

Maybe they’ll be alright.

“Oh shit,” Y/N said while rubbing my thigh. “I forgot to tell you. Chase and Malcolm have asked me if they can have the apartment to themselves tonight.”

I chuckled while finishing up my coffee. “So my place again?” 

“If you don't mind?” She batted her eyelashes at me with a pouty lip. 

I bit the inside of my cheek, forcing myself not to devour them in the crowded cafe. We’ve both been extremely busy with work and other things that we barely had more than a few minutes of alone time together. We spent the last four nights away from each other but whenever we were able to spend the night together, it had been at my place most of the time. 

Which caused this offer to plague my mind ever since we came home from tour a few weeks ago. Nerves ate away at me as I did my best to gain the courage to ask her this because it was a big step for us and I didn’t want her to feel like I was pressuring her. 

“You know,” I dragged my fingers up and down the shoulder it was wrapped around. “You already have all of your stuff at my place and you spend most nights there, might as well make it official.” 

A soft intake of her breath as she stared up at me, something flashing in her eyes as they darted between mine with the wonder if she’d heard me correctly. 

“Are you asking me to move in with you?” She asked. 

I nodded with a small smile. “I would give you a key but you already have one.”

“Shouldn’t you talk about it with Jesse and Michael?”

There was so much hope laced with her voice but also clear hesitation, not wanting to overstep when others were involved. So I reassured her with a tender kiss to her lips, one Y/N breathed into. 

“They don’t care, angel. They’re the ones who suggested it,” I said while resting my forehead against hers. “We have the space now since Jolly moved out. I want to be able to wake up to your face every morning. Feel your body next to mine as I sleep, easing away the worries of if you’re doing okay.” 

Y/N blinked away the tears while dragging a finger over my cheek. “What about Salem?” 

“You seem to forget that he’s been living there more than you have,” I chuckled. 

It was true. 

She’d been so busy with Hollow Souls lately that it was best to leave Salem at my place so he would have company with Jesse and Michael. 

“So what exactly are you asking?” She teased, wanting to hear the words fall from my lips. 

“Move in with me, angel. Please?” I finished my own pouty lip.

“I thought you’d never ask,” she ruffled my hair. 

The vice grip around my heart loosened at hearing her accept and I pulled her closer into me as we discussed plans on how we would go about moving all of her things to my place. We had a free weekend coming up and figured it would be the best time. 

“Do you think Matt will let us borrow his truck?” Y/N asked as we both went about cleaning up our table and bringing over the dishes to Jessica, the manager of Fika, and she thanked us with a smile.

“He’ll be busy so it should be fine,” I said. 

Her eyes lit up with sheer curiosity. “Oh, how’s everything going with them? She’s been kicking ass as our photographer.” 

I gave her a sly smirk, one she immediately knew the answer to, and she giggled. “I’m glad. He deserves it.” 

Glancing at my watch, I knew that I had to run next door quickly to avoid being late so I bid Y/N a goodbye with a kiss. 

“I’ll call you after therapy,” I promised. 

She squeezed my side. “I’m going to head to the store and pick up some boxes. Anything specific for dinner tonight?” 

“Whatever you want, angel,” I cupped her cheek.

Three days later, the Hollow Souls apartment was filled to the brim with not only stacks upon stacks of moving boxes but all of us moving in and out to pack up the various cars. 

Chase and Malcolm were busing turning Y/N’s old room into a studio; something she playfully gave them shit for. 

“I’m not even out the door and you two are changing my room around!” She mocked with a hand over her heart. 

But she was beyond excited to have an actual studio close by so whenever she was feeling inspired to work on something new, she didn’t have to rent out a place.

As I was taping up the box that held all of her books, I noticed Y/N was leaning against the kitchen counter with a grimace on her face. 

“Angel,” I called over to her. “Take my car and go home. Lay on the couch with your heating pad.” 

That word made all of my nerve endings burn with excitement. 

Home.

“I’ll be fine,” she waved me off. 

Setting down the tape, I crossed the threshold from the living room into the kitchen to rest my hands on her hips. Her endometriosis pains have been debilitating the last few days but today was the worst I’ve seen. Y/N had been trying to push through all afternoon to help pack up her things but all of us knew that she was seconds away from crumbling to the ground in pain. 

Just then, Michael stepped into the apartment after loading up my car with boxes so I tossed him my keys. 

“Can you take Y/N home? And make sure she rests?” I asked. 

Even though he was playful with his banter, I knew he was excited to take a break from moving things. 

“I will gladly be a babysitter,” he motioned for Y/N to follow. 

But she wasn’t ready to stop protesting. 

“These are my things. I should help-.” 

I cut her off with a gentle pat to her ass and pushed her towards the open door. “We’re almost done here so you won’t be missing much. Grab some food on the way home and we can watch a movie tonight.”

She smiled fondly at me, one that made my heart stutter in my chest. “I love the way that word sounds; home.” 

I agreed by kissing her lips. “I love you, angel.” 

“I love you more, mochi,” she proclaimed over my lips. 

A few hours later, I had all of Y/N’s things packed in her car and was about to head back inside to let Chase and Malcolm know that I was headed home when an unfamiliar car pulled up into the spot next to me. After spending some time here, I became familiar with what apartment complex belonged to what car so I knew that this one didn’t belong here. 

It wasn't until the familiar face stared back at me over the tops of the cars that a low scowl pulled on my lips. 

“Oh, it’s you,” Y/N’s mom sneered towards me. “Where’s my daughter?” 

I couldn't help but snort at how she greeted me but did my best to remain calm by running a hand through my hair. 

“She’s not here. She’s at home,” I answered while opening up the door to her car, ready to leave. 

Her mom raised a brow. “Her car is here. This is her home, what do you mean she’s not here?” 

For a moment, I stood perplexed on whether or not to tell her why Y/N wasn’t here. I knew that it wasn't my business to tell but also knew that her mom wouldn’t stop badgering either of us until she found out what she wanted. 

“All you need to know is that she’s fine. I’ll let her know you stopped by,” I said with a forced smile. 

The sun had set long ago, the bright glow of the moon casting over the parking lot and the distaste on Y/N’s moms face. The way her judgmental eyes lingered on my tattoos that poked out from my sweater and shorts did nothing to help the growing scowl on my face. The little voice in my mind kept telling me to be respectful since this was Y/N’s mom. 

“You can’t keep her from me,” she crossed her arms over her designer suit. 

I gripped the handle of the door, knuckles going white, and let out a long, deep breath. 

“I’m not forcing Y/N to do anything, ma’am. She’s an adult and makes her own choices,” my voice had taken an unexpected edge to it; something she picked up on. 

Those eyes cast towards the boxes in the car and let out a very obnoxious gasp; suddenly putting two and two together. 

“You claim she can make her own choices but you forced her to move in with you?” 

“You think you know shit when you don’t,” I snapped, not being able to keep my composure any longer. 

It had been months of constant belittlement from her towards Y/N with every phone conversation or text message and it had been me there to pick up the pieces; every fucking time. I was tired of seeing the light drain from my angel's eyes because of her own mom. 

“Excuse me?” She gasped. 

Rolling my eyes, I leaned my arms over the top of the car and now narrowed my eyes at her. 

“You don’t get the right to continue to talk down to your daughter and expect her to have a relationship with you. It’s fucked up that you expect all these things from her when it’s not who she is.” 

She snarled. “Language, young man.” 

“Fuck that,” I scoffed. “Y/N turned out to be an amazing young woman. She built Hollow Souls from nothing and overcame the fear of what would happen once Trey left. She’s thriving in all aspects of her life and we’re all so fucking thankful to be able to witness it. If you can’t be proud of any of that, then why are you even here?” 

My voice was raised causing Chase to pop his head out of the open door of the apartment ready to ask what was wrong but froze when he noticed who my anger was directed towards. 

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” he hissed while stepping out onto the front lawn. 

“Not now, Jace,” Y/N’s mom waved at him like he was an annoying pest. 

“Chase,” he corrected. “You have no right showing up here, you know that. Especially with what happened last time you surprised Y/N.” 

I remembered that all too well. It was before we were dating and it took me forever to pull her out of that slump. Her mother reminded Y/N that she could never be a mom due to her condition. 

A topic her mother knew nothing about. She didn’t understand the hope Y/N had for the possibility of being a mom.

Her mother stomped the heel of her shoe to the concrete. “I have a right to my daughter!” 

“No you don’t,” I shook my head while standing next to Chase now. “We’re both standing up for her. She doesn’t need your negativity.”

Her moms eyes bounced between us before brushing away her graying hair and that's when I noticed the very large diamond on her left finger. 

Mother fucker. That’s why she was here. 

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I muttered under my breath. 

“Not that it’s any of your business but I came to tell my daughter that I’m getting married and I would love to have her there. She needs to meet the man that will become her new father,” her mother divulged in that condescending tone that irritated everyone around her. 

Chase squeezed his fists at his side, trying his best to keep his composure. “You’re unbelievable. You can’t expect your grown daughter to call another man dad when she already has one.”

“That man can’t even get on a plane to visit his own daughter! His life in Japan is more important,” her mother sneered. 

“When was the last time you actually reached out to Y/N without the intent to boast about your life? When was the last time you actually cared about what’s going on in her life?” I demanded to know with furrowed brows. 

When her mom remained silent, I nodded more so to myself knowing my answer was right. 

“Her dad facetimes her every day to ask how her day went. He doesn’t let the insane time difference stop him. He called her the other day to show her this manga book shop down the road from his place because he knows how much she loves it.”

“Man-what?” Her mother shook her head confused. 

I pinched my eyes shut with a longer breath than before. Chase, on the other hand, let his anger be known. 

“You’re fucking ridiculous, you know that? You don’t give a shit about Y/N, you never have. Ever since the divorce you made her choose you in regards to everything. You never believed in any of her dreams, you didn’t believe her when she tried to confide in you about what a dick Trey was. When she tried to tell you how she finally found the one, you brushed it off as a pipe dream and said it wouldn’t last.”

My eyes snapped over to Chase with his words, this being the first time I heard this. 

The one. 

I couldn’t ignore the way my heart leaped in my throat with sheer happiness at hearing those words. I always knew deep within me that Y/N was it for me but knowing that she felt the same as well eased away that negative voice in my mind that told me she would leave me alone in a hotel room again. 

She wouldn’t. I knew she wouldn’t. 

“My wedding is in a few weeks. Tell my daughter I expect her there,” Y/N’s mom ignored everything Chase had said and opened her car door. 

“We’re busy,” I said with a curt nod. “But I wish you the best in your upcoming nuptials.”

She slammed the door and took four steps towards me while pointing a finger in my face. “I do not appreciate your condescending tone, young man! You will show me some respect since you’re dating my daughter.”

Chase stepped forward but I held out a hand, letting him now I was alright. 

“Respectfully, ma’am, I don’t have to do a damn thing.”

“You think just because you’re some hot shot musician that she’ll stay with you? You want a family, that’s something she can’t give you. Save yourself the heartbreak and let her down gently. I have a spare bedroom in my house up in the hills she can move into. I’ll have the maid get it ready for her.”

I blinked at her, the audacity of her thinking that I would break up with Y/N because of her endometriosis stilling me for a long beat. 

“Bitch,” Chase grumbled under his breath. “You have a lot of fucking nerve for even assuming Noah would leave Y/N because of that.”

“I love Y/N with my entire fucking soul,” I pointed a finger to my chest. “We’d gone through hell for our souls to find each other after everything and I would rather die than let her slip away from me again.”

Her mom’s lips parted, ready to interject, but I cut her off. “And I’ll be damned if I continue to allow you in her life when all you do is discredit all the hard work she’s done. She doesn’t need you. She has all of us that love and support her. So if that’s something you don’t think you can do, you can get the fuck out of here.” 

My patience had worn extremely thin and I was finished with this conversation. All I wanted to do was swing by the Japanese place downtown to bring us some ramen and lounge on our couch with Y/N. 

Her mom glanced over to Chase, expecting him to say something, but he merely crossed his arms over his chest in a silent agreement with me. She brushed down the front of her pantsuit before retreating back to her car without another word, it peeling away from the parking lot. 

“We should tell Y/N,” Chase said after a beat of silence. 

I nodded. “I’ll tell her. Tomorrow. I just want to enjoy the rest of the night with her.”

Biding each other a goodbye, I finally left the apartment and spent the few miles driving home doing my best to calm down. My knee bounced with agitation when I replayed the conversation with Y/N’s mom over in my head and cursed to myself that I did the same thing I told Y/N not to do. 

I let her mother get under my skin. 

She knew nothing of mine and Y/N’s life, of the plans we’ve made, so she had no right to try and make Y/N change it because she didn’t agree with it. 

With the bag of ramen under my arm, I bounded up the steps towards home and felt all the negative energy the second I opened the door and smiled at the sight in front of me. 

Y/N was laying on the lounger part of the couch with a big blanket and I assumed her heating pad underneath it. Jesse sat next to her with a bowl of popcorn between them, both of them throwing pieces at each other. Michael sat on the far end of the couch with Salem perched in his lap, both of them watching Attack on Titan. 

“Seriously? You guys couldn’t wait till I was home?” I teased while kicking the door shut and setting the food out on the coffee table. 

“I told you he’d be upset,” Jesse mocked Y/N, who stuck out her tongue at him. 

“Whatever, you’re here now,” she extended a hand towards me and I fell next to her onto the couch with a relieved sigh. 

She could feel the tension weighing on my shoulders so she breathed into my hairline. “Everything alright?” 

“It is now,” I admitted while pressing a soft kiss to her stomach that was covered by the blanket.

READER

Humming softly to myself, I kept busy by folding the large pile of clothes on the bed in front of me. Salem had made himself comfortable in a pile of Noah’s sweaters and I didn’t have the heart to move him. It had been a very lazy Saturday spent doing some house chores in the morning and hanging outside with the guys. Noah had left a while ago for a training session with Ash and promised to swing by Fika’s to grab me some mochis. 

I’d been living with Noah for a week now and honestly, not much had changed. It was as if we still found ourselves in that familiar rhythm as before but instead of leaving to go back to my place after a couple of nights, I stayed. 

And I will forever stay by his side. Even if my mom didn’t believe it. 

The following morning after I moved in, Noah told me about my moms visit and all the things that were said by him and her. I was never upset with Noah for sticking up for me, or Chase either. I was upset with how my mom thought so little of not only my life but my relationship with Noah as well. 

Hearing the news she was getting married and wanted me there was laughable; literally. I could help but laugh when Noah mentioned that part and I made sure everyone knew that we were not going to that wedding.

“It’s nothing new, unfortunately,” I sighed into Noah’s chest as he told me about it. “I think it’s best for everyone if I continue the space with her.”

Picking up the familiar gray sweater, I chuckled with confusion as to how it appeared in my pile of clean clothes. The communal Chief sweater that seemed to get passed between all four of us in the house. Padding into the living room, I went to hang it up in the front closet where I saw Jesse typing furiously on his phone. 

“Everything alright?” I squeezed his shoulder before hanging up the sweater. 

“No,” he sighed. 

The anxiety was evident in his voice so I sank down on the couch next to him, urging him on with a gentle squeeze of his knee. 

“It’s Maxxine. I’d been trying to get together with her since the aquarium but she’s been ghosting me. It’s not the first time either,” he admitted with another sigh. 

My heart sank for my friend but yet my anger for how Maxxine was treating him burned brighter. Yes, she was my friend as well, but I didn’t like how she was treating Jesse. He’d been a sweetheart their entire relationship and didn’t deserve any of this. 

“Was it rude of me to break up through text?” He wondered. 

It was my turn to sigh while pulling my knees to my chest. “Honestly, a bit. But if she’s ghosting you and not even trying, it might not be worth keeping the relationship alive, Jesse.”

“It’s hard being the only one trying,” he said with a somber voice. 

I rested my head on his shoulder. “I know.”

We sat like that for a minute and I couldn’t help but smile at how many amazing people I had in my life. Through it all, they stayed by my side even when I was in the wrong for how I treated Noah that night so long ago. 

Suddenly both of our phones went off with a similar text tone and as we glanced down at the screens, Jesse raised a brow. 

To: Hollow Omens Atlas Chief

Chase: Oak Gardens at the Descanso Gardens tomorrow night. Seven p.m. Dress attire is somewhat formal. Just bring yourselves. 

Nicholas: That’s vague but somehow informal. 

Folio: Lucky for you, my schedule just cleared up for the foreseeable future. 

Jolly: Shit, Nick. What happened?

Three bubbles appeared then disappeared for a moment before appearing again. 

Folio: I wasn’t the only one. 

Jesse and I shared a look and now the anger I felt before because of Maxxine was tenfold for the pain Folio was going through. It didn’t say much with those four words but yet, they told a story about another one of my friends going through something they didn’t deserve.

“I don’t like all of these breakups. They usually come in threes,” I semi joked. 

Jesse worked out a reply into the group chat, it appearing on screen. 

Jesse Cash: Please tell me that everyone else's relationship is safe. 

Mal: We’re good over here. 

Jolly: More than alright. Astrid has been going to therapy and she’s making great strides.

I couldn’t stop the smile and sheer joy I felt knowing that Jolly and Astrid were finally reaching a better place in their relationship. 

Me: I guess Noah and I are alright 😜

Mochi 🍡: Funny, angel. It's really funny. 

Michael: I’m still single so no need to worry about me.

Knowing that Michael was upstairs in his bedroom alone gave me pause, wondering how he was doing. I couldn’t help but worry about all of my friends.

Chase: Now that we’ve all either reassured that our relationships are fine while some of us need something to forget the pain of a breakup, Malcolm and I will see all of you tomorrow night at seven p.m. 

Bryan: Wait, what about Matt? Are we sure they’re still doing fine?

Bryan: Also can’t wait for tomorrow, Chase. I’ll bring my camera.

Matt: Y’all realize how annoying it is to have the group chat blowing up while we're watching Greys?

Snuggling deeper into the couch while Jesse got up to get started on dinner, my fingers typed quickly on the screen. 

Me: She got you watching Greys?

Davis: He actually got her into it. I know since I’m currently sitting on their couch with them watching it.

Matt: Fuck off, bro.

As the group chat continued to blow up, text after text, I heard the front door click open to reveal a sweaty Noah; his shirt clinging to the muscles of his back and his shorts were showcasing his thick thighs, the tattoos clenching as he strode further into the house. 

“Hi,” he mused while placing a kiss on my lips. 

I scrunched up my nose at the scent that lingered on his skin. “You stink.” 

Noah chuckled. “Ash really kicked my ass today. What’s for dinner?” 

As he turned towards Jesse in the kitchen, I called after him. “Shower first. I can still smell you!” 

Noah slowly turned back to face me, a playful smirk on his lips, and suddenly I felt fear creep into my bones. 

“What’s that, angel? I smell?” He cocked his head to the side. 

“Shit,” I cursed but then giggled when Noah jumped on top of me. 

His large body engulfed me, wiping his dried sweat all over my skin. I felt the stick strands of his hair in my mouth, causing me to gag on the taste of it. His fingers worked against the sensitive spots of my ribs and then thighs, tickling me with no remorse. 

“Please,” I gasped in between fits of giggles. “I can’t. You know how ticklish I am!” 

Noah ignored me and continued to crush me under his weight, pinning me to the couch as he dug his fingers deeper into the skin of my thighs. 

“Say it!” He demanded. 

“NEVER!” I shouted back while trying to squirm out from under him. 

He grabbed my wrists to pin them above my head, forcing me to smell his armpits. I cringed while still fighting underneath him; the smile never leaving our faces. 

“Say it!” 

I shook my head, trying to maneuver my nose away from his armpit. “Never! You’ll never get me to say those words.”

Footsteps bounded down the stairs and through the small opening over Noah’s shoulder, I saw Michael watching the scene with wide eyes. 

“What the hell is happening?” 

Jesse chuckled while looking through the various take out menus we had. “Y/N said Noah stinks so now they’re having a tickle fight.”

“Assholes! Help me out here, he’s forcing my face into his armpit. I don’t want to smell it,” I called out to Jesse and Michael, who simply watched with amused expressions. 

Noah rubbed his armpit over my cheek while I smacked his chest. “FINE! YOU WIN!”

He pumped his hands in the air while sitting on my lap, cheering loudly, and then bent low to capture my lips in a kiss. 

“I stink now,” I jutted out my bottom lip. 

“I guess that means we both need to take a shower,” he fanned over my lips.

His pupils dilated, sheer black overtaking them, and I quickly patted his thigh so he could hop off of me. 

“I need to finish the laundry,” I did my best to fix my clothes before scurrying off into our bedroom down the hall. 

“Let me help, angel!” Noah called behind me as he chased me down the hallway, pinning me against the door. 

JESSE

When the door to Y/N’s and Noah’s room shut and Salem came trotting down the hallway before jumping onto the kitchen counter, I shared a look with Michael. 

“Think they’ll be fine with tacos?” I asked while holding up a menu for one of our favorite taco trucks that was always parked down the block from us. 

Michael shrugged before walking over to Salem’s empty food bowl, filling it up. “Give me five minutes and I’ll come with you.” 

As he ran back up the stairs, I slipped on my gray hat with the white flower to hide my unruly curls and tapped the back pocket of my jeans to make sure my wallet was still there. As I went about cleaning up the living room, setting the pillows and blankets back in their respective places, Michael appeared in the living room again. 

“Ready?” He asked before leaving a soft kiss on Salem’s head.

With a nod, we both began the short walk down the block towards the taco truck. 

“How are things with Maxxine?” Michael wondered as the skyline in front of our eyes faded from a bright orange to a dull gray. 

As the houses turned to downtown buildings, I let out a long breath, doing my best to keep my composure. City lights and skylines were always the guide to a wandering mind, one that wouldn’t stop. 

“I broke up with her. It felt one sided so I realized I deserve more than being strung along,” I scuffed my already worn down shoe against a rock. 

Michael patted my shoulder. “You do, Jesse. You’ll find someone that will want all of you, all the time.” 

I shrugged, the taco truck coming into view. “I doubt it. I’m starting to think love isn’t in the cards for me.”

Since I broke up with Maxxine earlier, all I could think about was if I had done something to push her away. Was my anxiety too much for her? Did she not enjoy the time we spent together when I was home from touring? 

Was I not enough for her?

These thoughts were binging on shadow and smoke, my worries endlessly coming undone. All of it tiny little pieces that mirrored each other, a broken glass looking in. My heart was shattered with the undoing of a relationship I thought would last and it longed to be whole again. 

“I never thought that I could withstand falling short when I'm a broken man,” I sighed while coming to a stop at the end of the line in front of the truck. 

Michael gave me a somber smile before reading over the menu even though we already knew what we were going to order. My mind continued to be on other things, the sound of food unappealing all of a sudden. 

The soft tone of a giggle graced my ears and when my eyes glanced up from the broken concrete at my feet, I saw a woman a few feet in front of me laughing at something one of her friends had said. 

She was breathtaking. 

The way her hair fell over her shoulders, unmoving even with the wind that blew around us. The freckles that somehow managed to sparkle under no light. And the way her eyes made every one of my nerves ignite with a force that took my breath away. 

Bright as the ocean and lips so soft, so pure; waking lips to greet the sun. When she smiled wide, something deep within me awoke that lay dormant for so long. Not even my relationship with Maxxine made me feel this way; this alive. I didn’t know anything about this woman, only the fact that her laughter seemed to quiet the anxieties plaguing my mind. 

As if she felt me staring from underneath my hat, those striking eyes locked on mine causing a soft sigh to fall from my lips. The tips of my fingers tingle with the need to run them through those soft strands of hair. When the corner of her lip curled up into a smile and her hand raised in a quick wave, I knew that I’d be alright. Finding her in the middle of this busy line on a Friday night was me finding my footing in the fog that never seemed to evaporate from my life. 

I thought my story had ended with my break up but instead, it was only the beginning. A new possibility of wonder, prospect, and maybe even love was lingering in the cityscapes skyline and there was only one thing on my mind; I wanted to keep finding her smile in the epilogue.

NOAH

“You’re what?!” Y/N’s voice was raised, echoing through the trees and causing a few onlookers to glance over at us. 

I rubbed her lower back, muttering into her hairline. “Angel.” 

Chase, who had his fingers linked with Malcolm, just smiled. “We’re getting married.” 

Y/N remained motionless in my embrace, eyes blinking slowly, as she tried to register Chase’s words one final time. 

“You’re getting married?” She asked. 

Malcolm ran a hand through his long auburn curls. “We’re sorry we talked about it without you, sweets. It was kind of a last minute decision.”

“We love each other. I think we’ve always had but never really admitted it,” Chase gazed up at Malcolm. “He’s the only one I want to spend the rest of my life with, might as well make it official.”

I grazed my fingers over the exposed skin of Y/N’s back, feeling the goosebumps rise to her skin. It was a warm but breezy afternoon in Los Angeles and with the olive green exposed back dress she wore, I did my best to keep her warm. The thin strap began to slide down her freckled shoulder so I gently fixed it as she blew out a shaky breath. 

“I’m not upset,” she reassured Chase and Malcolm. “I’m so fucking happy for you guys!” 

As the three of them shared a hug, I peered over to the large group of friends that came here tonight. It was amazing how much all of our lives changed in the almost two years since Hollow Souls and Bad Omens toured together. Both bands grew and flourished in their new eras while all of us individuals did the same. Every single one of us were living different lives but somehow we managed to make the time to find our way back to each other. We were one giant family that cared and loved each other. We looked out for one another and when someone was going through something, we all were. 

The sun was still high in the sky casting a bright glow over the rows of chairs and the simple vine arch. Chase and Malcolm weren’t the kind of guys that wanted something over the top. They explained that the ceremony would be an exchange of vows and rings ending with a kiss. They didn’t want a party afterwards because they had plans on leaving right from here for a little getaway before tour life picked up again.

Y/N’s arms wrapped around my midsection and I gazed down at her with a fond smile. 

“Have I told you how gorgeous you look?” She played with the undone buttons on my black shirt, my chest piece peaking through. 

I hummed while grazing my nails up and down her exposed spine, over the snake tattoo there. 

“I don’t think you have, angel.”

Now her fingers brushed away a few loose strands of hair that fell into my eyes. 

“Well, you look absolutely gorgeous and I love you,” she praised. 

With one hand grazing up and down her back, I cupped her cheek with the other one to lay a caressing kiss to her lips. I felt her breathe into it, allowing me to slowly take control. Lazily, my tongue glided over her bottom lip, tasting sweet like honey, and I nipped over them with my teeth.

“You taste like sugar,” I mused while resting my forehead against hers. 

Every kiss was always spell binding, soul intertwining, and intoxicating. I couldn’t get enough of her. 

“Malcolm joked about me being the flower girl,” Y/N chuckled while linking fingers with mine, slowly dragging me over to our group of friends. 

“Does that mean I get to be the ring bearer?” I teased, swaying our hands together. 

She merely winked before we met up with Jolly and Astrid and as we talked with them, waiting for the ceremony to start, I glanced around to everyone else around us again. 

Nicholas was slow dancing to the music with his girlfriend.

Bryan was busy taking pictures of Chase and Malcolm. 

Davis and Steven were talking with Matt, who kept his eyes on the blue haired girl that was taking pictures of the scenery around us. I didn’t miss the way Matt watched her with love in his eyes; it was the same look I gave Y/N. 

Jesse was already sitting in one of the chairs having an in depth conversation with his date. The girl he met at the taco truck last night. It had been a whirlwind of an evening for him last night with him inviting her back to our place where we let them have the backyard alone. They spent the entire evening talking, Y/N peaking through the slit of the blinds. 

“Angel,” I chastised her while laying in bed. “Stop spying!”

She scoffed while looking over her shoulder. “I am not spying! I just want to make sure they’re alright. Maybe I should bring them something to eat.”

“Get them a fruit basket,” I grumbled to myself before pulling her back into bed with me.

The most softest breeze blew past us causing Jesse to brush away her blonde hair from her shoulder so he could lay his jacket over them. 

“Who’s that?” Astrid wondered, motioning to the girl on Jesse’s left. 

“That is Tay. Her and Jesse met last night at the taco truck down the block from us. I guess they really hit it off,” Y/N said. 

Jolly’s brows pulled together with a look I’d been on the receiving end one too many times. 

Dad Omens.

“He already invited her to a wedding?” Jolly asked while resting a hand on Astrid’s waist. 

I shrugged. “This one is different, Jolly. I’ve never seen Jesse like this. They spent all night just talking.” 

Y/N pointed to someone else, who was sitting at the outdoor bar by himself, hunched over with the weight of his own inner turmoil. Folio soon joined him at the bar, both of them clinking their beers together in a somber cheer.

“I feel bad for those two,” she pointed to Michael and Folio. “Especially Nick. No one deserves to find out they’re the other man.”

I brushed my lips over her hairline. “They’ll be alright. Michael doesn't mind being alone and Nick will bounce back. We’ll make sure of it.” 

Suddenly, Chase and Malcolm called us all over to our seats and I followed Y/N close as she led us to a couple of seats in the front row. As they said, the ceremony was simple, one that we all watched with adoration in our eyes while Chase and Malcolm exchanged their own vows, causing Y/N to sniffle next to me. 

“Fuck,” she blew out a shaky breath. “I can’t believe they’re about to be married.”

I grazed my finger over the exposed skin of her thigh, leaving goosebumps in my wake, and only hummed; too far gone in my exploration of the woman in front of me. 

The setting sun caught the auburn highlights in her hair, recently dying it brown again to cover the blonde roots. It shimmered as she shifted in her seat, the scent of her peach shampoo that I loved so much tickled my nose. It was a sense of familiarity that I found myself craving the nights she was away. But now that she slept in my bed every night, I breathed a little easier knowing she’d never be far from me again. 

I traced over the freckles that peppered her cheeks and nose before lingering over the faint scar on her face she got when she was a kid from falling off her bike. Her laugh when Malcolm made an old Hollow Souls joke made my heart flutter in my chest, those butterflies that only flew for her moving at a rapid pace. The lone tear that slipped down her cheek when she watched Chase hold back his own. 

Just gazing at her beauty was enough to steal all the breath from my lungs as the memories of everything we’d gone through began to play in my mind. It was a very rough road to get to this moment, we both did and said things we regret because of the lack of communication between us. But like everyone told me in those dark moments, it will be worth it. She’ll be by your side once both of you are ready.

Now that I had her, I wanted to make sure she knew I’d never let her go. 

This idea had been circling in my mind for weeks, long before I asked her to move in with me, but seeing Y/N sitting in front of the setting sun that casted her in an aura all her own, I knew that I couldn’t put this off any longer. 

As the ceremony came to a close, Chase and Malcolm sealing their love with a kiss, I rose to clap alongside everyone else in the midst of all my planning. Before I could do anything, I needed to have two very important conversations. 

One via phone and the other via the air around me.

READER

Through the open window, the serenading birds and soft breeze woke me from the heavy slumber I found myself in. It had been a long night spent in the studio with Chase and Malcolm, working on a new single. It had been a while since our album was released and we were itching to get back in the studio to create something. We didn’t have plans on releasing it anytime soon, I just felt inspired to record something. 

Weeks spent writing in my old and battered journal, the scratching of pencil on paper keeping Noah awake most nights. Not that he minded. 

Patting the bed next to me, I expected to feel a warm chest but instead felt cool sheets underneath my palm. Popping my head out from underneath the pillow, I blinked a few times to adjust to the bright rays of the sun and raised a confused brow when I saw the empty space beside me. 

“Noah?” I called out, voice rough from sleep. 

Clearing my throat, I sat up in bed while clutching the sheet to my bare form and gazed around the even emptier room. Salem was nowhere to be seen, meaning that he snuck out earlier knowing that Michael always fed him his breakfast. 

“Fuck, it’s almost ten?” I sighed while dragging a hand over my face. 

Rarely did I sleep in, both Noah and I early risers, but I didn’t crawl into bed until almost 2 a.m. And didn’t fall asleep till almost four because Noah wanted to have a little taste of me. 

When I went to reach for my phone, I noticed a bright orange sticky note posted to the lamp. 

Angel,

I hope you slept in because you deserve it. Sorry you woke up alone but I had to leave early because we have a fun day planned. So eat some breakfast and get ready. I’ll see you soon.

Mochi.

I couldn’t stop the grin that spread to my face and the giggles that fell from my lips as I nearly stumbled out of bed while tripping over the sheet to run into the adjacent bathroom. I didn’t need to bring much of my things when I moved in since Noah already had a lot of my necessities here already. 

As I turned the shower dial all the way to hot, I let the steam fill the bathroom just as my eyes landed on another bright orange sticky note on the mirror. 

“What are you up to, Noah?” I chuckled while ripping off the sticky note. 

Angel,

Somehow I knew you would want to get ready before making yourself something to eat. Please make sure you don’t skip out on breakfast. You’re going to need your strength today. 

Mochi.

Since I was already naked, I hastily jumped into the awaiting shower and didn’t bother taking my time. Wherever Noah was, he was waiting for me. With the black towel wrapped around me, I hurried from the bathroom into the large walk in closet, clicking on the light. It glowed over both mine and Noah’s clothes and also over yet another sticky note that was tapped to a pair of folded clothes on the counter in the middle of the closet. 

Angel,

You know I would never tell you what to wear but with what I had planned today, I want you to be comfortable so I chose an outfit I think would best suit that. 

Don’t forget to eat something. 

Mochi.

Dressing in the pair of leggings and the familiar white Bad Omens shirt with the crown of thorns logo he chose, I slipped on a pair of white vans and tossed the large black knitted sweater over my shoulder. Make up was minimal and I decided to leave my hair down, the short waves not bothering me much. Before leaving the closet, I did a once over in the mirror, the light overhead catching the silver chain around my neck and wrist; the ones Noah gifted me on my birthday. All this time later and I never took them off. 

Squealing with excitement, I made sure to turn off all the lights in the bedroom before stepping into the kitchen where I saw Michael and Jesse leaning against the large kitchen island. Both of them had wide grins and Jesse motioned towards the fridge. 

“Open it.”

The fridge rattled from the force I used to open it and I squealed when I saw that familiar orange sticky note posted on a can of Celsius. 

Angel,

I don’t understand how you and Matt drink these but you’re going to need it today. Look on the stove.

Mochi.

Slamming the fridge shut, I pushed past Micheal and Jesse who continued to watch with wide grins as I picked up the goodie bag from Fika that was sitting on top of the stove. 

Angel,

I wanted to make you a giant spread but didn’t have the time. So enjoy a breakfast sandwich from our favorite place. See you soon.

Mochi.

I swiftly turned on my heels and narrowed my eyes at the two men. “What has he planned?” 

Michael shrugged while picking up Salem off the ground, holding him to his chest. My cat purred loudly and buried his face in the crook of Michael's neck. 

“I don’t know. You’re wasting time here talking to us about it though.” 

My eyes widened. “Well, where am I supposed to meet him?” 

Jesse simply winked before taking a large sip of his coffee and held another fresh cup in his hand. “Tay’s waiting for this so have fun today, Y/N.”

If I had time, I would ask how things were going between them, but while scarfing down the breakfast sandwich and chugging half of the Celsius I ran to my car. On the steering wheel was a sticky note; Noah’s familiar chicken scratch of handwriting made me smile. 

Angel, 

5333 Zoo Drive, Los Angeles, CA 90027. Also, peek at the new playlist I made for you on Spotify. 

Mochi.

“The zoo!” I squealed while typing in the address on my phone and then checking out the new Spotify playlist. 

Redo Date. 

With a quick scroll through, I noticed it was filled with songs that mean a lot to us and the first one I chose was ultimately, the most important one. 

“I'm not afraid of the war you've come to wage against my sins. I'm not okay, but I can try my best to just pretend,” Noah’s soft voice came through the speakers as I pulled out of the driveway, heading straight towards the man that waited for me. 

By some miracle, the usual heavy traffic was light this morning and I was able to make it to the zoo in under twenty minutes. Immediately my eyes recognized Noah’s car and I pulled into the empty spot next to it. After checking my make up in the mirror, I slid over my sunglasses before stepping out of the car. It was a somewhat cool spring day and I did not need my sweater quite yet. I tied it around my waist just as my eyes caught a bright orange sticky note posted on the inside of Noah’s car window. 

Angel,

I’ll be waiting for you at the entrance. See you soon. 

But if you’re not angel and you’re reading this, that’s fucking weird. 

Mochi.

Before I could take a step, my phone buzzed in my purse and I felt my heart drop at the message that appeared on screen. 

Dad 🖤: Hey buttercup. If you get a few minutes, feel free to call me. I miss you and wondering if we can finally talk about a visit again. Bring Noah this time. Love you and talk soon.

He’d been sick on and off for the last few weeks, more recently feeling healthy. But with the major time difference and how busy my schedule had become, it was hard for me to find time to call him. I did know that in a few months both Bad Omens and Hollow Souls would be busy with their own upcoming tours so maybe I should find time for a visit before then. Making a mental note to call him later, I put my phone on D.N.D and slipped it back into my purse. 

Skipping over towards the entrance of the busy zoo, I quickly spotted the 6’3” tattooed build of the man that held my heart and soul. The invisible string that kept us together vibrated the closer I got. He stood in the midst of the chaos of parents trying to wrangle their kids and teachers doing their best to keep their students in line. Noah wore a simple outfit of black shorts and a matching shirt with a design of an avocado. His growing hair was kept neat under his hat and those striking almond eyes were covered with sunglasses. It was almost futile to hide who he was, those gorgeous legs and tattoos on display for anyone to recognize him. 

Rarely ever did we go out in busy public places like this with the fear of being seen together because we were such private people now. We didn’t want anyone to know our personal business unless they were actively in our lives. 

Almost immediately his hand reached towards mine, pulling me into his chest to lay a tender kiss on my lips. 

“Hi, angel,” he brushed his nose along mine. 

“Hi, mochi.” 

But then, something bright and orange on his chest caught my eye. 

Angel, 

I love you.

Mochi.

Tears welled in my eyes as I took off the sticky note from his chest and placed it in my purse along with all the others from today, besides the one in his car. Noah noticed a tear fall and was quick to catch it with the pad of his thumb. Even though I couldn’t see it due to his sunglasses, I knew his gaze was bouncing between mine. 

“What’s the matter? Did you not like the notes?” He asked with worry etched in his voice.

I grasped his shirt, holding him close to me. “I loved it. It was so thoughtful. No one has done anything like this for me before. Everything you do for me, Noah still ceases to amaze me. I don’t deserve-.”

Noah cut my words off with another kiss. “Don’t say that, Y/N. You deserve all of this and more for everything you’ve gone through. I want to be able to give you that, alright?” 

When I nodded, he wrapped his arm around his shoulder to pull me closer to him before walking through the entrance of the zoo. 

“You know,” I patted his tummy. “I should pay this time. Since you paid the last time.”

Noah chuckled at the memory and gave my shoulder a squeeze.

"What the fuck?" I murmured while rifling through my purse.

"Something wrong?"

Gazing up through my sunglasses, I saw Noah looking at me with concern. He pocketed his glasses so I could see the browns of his eyes sparkle in the sunlight.

"No. Well yea," I sighed letting my purse fall to my side. "I must have left my wallet on the bus. You guys ahead. I'll see you back at the venue."

It all happened so fast; Noah pulling out his own wallet, asking for two tickets, and handing the person behind the counter the correct amount of change.

"Noah," I scolded. "You didn't have to do that!"

"Come on. They're waiting for us," Noah said with an extended arm in front of me.

Of course, Noah paid this time and ushered me in through the entrance with a hand at the small of my back. 

“I’ll let you get it the next time,” he assured me with a nod. 

No he wouldn’t. 

Linking our fingers together, we stopped at the first exhibit and I gazed up at him with a smirk. 

“Chase thought you were staring at my ass that day.” 

Noah snorted with a lopsided grin. “I definitely was.”

With a playful laughter, I let Noah guide me along the way of the zoo, hand in hand.

CHASE

Running a hand over my freshly buzzed hair, I sighed and leaned back into the chair. Malcolm raised his head from his laptop screen, giving me a look of great pause. 

“Did I cut it too short?” He wondered. 

I shook my head, letting him know that he did a great job at cutting my hair. He always did. Playing with the black band around my left finger, I let out another long sigh. 

“I think we should call mixing today. We’ve been going after this track the last couple of days,” I clicked out of the program on the computer before motioning for Malcolm to do the same. 

“We have been meaning to catch up on Survivor,” he reminded as he set the laptop on the desk, following me out of our studio. 

Y/N’s room was the largest one in the apartment so when she moved out, it was almost a given that we would turn it into a studio. Once we were settled on the couch with blankets and snacks, Malcolm loaded up Paramount Plus as I ran my fingers through his long auburn curls. They were unruly today, something I admired every time I stared at him. 

Even though we were officially married now for a couple of weeks, nothing really changed. 

Before we could hit play on the next episode, my phone buzzed next to me, the contact name making me furrow my brows. 

“Why is Y/N’s dad calling you?” Malcolm wondered. 

Shrugging, I hit the green button. “Hey. Mr. Y/L/N. What’s up?” 

A deep cough shook my phone. “Hi, son. I don’t mean to bother you.” 

Malcolm and I shared a look. 

“Don’t even worry about it. Isn’t it the middle of the night where you’re at?” I asked. 

There was a lot of rustling in the background in the midst of all of the voices which made me sit straight up, spine going rigid when an all too familiar beeping sound echoed loudly through the speaker of my phone. 

“Is Y/N around? I’ve been trying to text her but I haven’t heard from her.” 

Malcolm bit the inside of his cheek when we heard how ragged her dad’s voice sounded. 

“She’s out with Noah right now. Some sort of redo date,” Malcolm chuckled. 

“Oh,” the sadness was evident in her fathers voice before he was hit with another coughing fit. This one heavier and deeper. 

I rubbed at the back of my neck. “You still have that cough, huh? It’s been awhile.” 

It took a moment before Y/N’s dad’s voice came through the speaker. “Oh, it’s nothing. I promise. Have Y/N call me if you get a hold of her, would you son?” 

“Sure thing,” I sighed, knowing that whatever was going on with him, he wouldn’t talk to me about it. 

As soon as I hung up, I motioned to Malcolm. “Text her. Her dad didn’t sound good and I didn’t like what I heard in the background.”

While he typed away on his phone, he glanced over at me. “You don’t think he’s-?”

I dragged my hands over my face. “I don’t know what else to think, Mal.”

He gave me a loving squeeze on my thigh just as his text came through the group chat with the three of us.

Mal: Sweets, have you talked to your dad at all? He still has that nasty cough and it doesn’t sound good. 

This user is on Do Not Disturb. Notify them of this message?

“Fuck,” Malcolm muttered under his breath before hitting the notify message. 

I gently grazed my fingers over his back, trying my best to soothe his worries away. 

“Let’s give her a few minutes and then maybe text Noah,” I suggested before we ultimately did our best to keep our minds on the television, not the wellbeing of Y/N’s dad. 

NOAH

Cool breeze like an autumn night brushed along our bodies as we ran down the beach together, Y/N’s laughter sounded like a gentle melody to my ears. The sun was about to set, casting us in a glimmer of moonlight that mirrored off of the dark ocean. Birds flew away from us as I chased Y/N up and down the sandy dunes, doing my best to drag her into the cool water with me. 

“Careful, angel!” I called up to her as she walked along a rocky wall that led out into the water. “I don’t want you to hurt yourself.”

She gave me a wicked smile from above. "Would you catch me if I fell?"

Even though the season changed throughout the day and with the waves crashing around us, I grinned up at her. "Though the skies are turning gray, I'll never let you fall, angel."

As we stood at the edge of the waves now, it soaking our ankles, I watched in slight horror as Y/N walked deeper into the water. 

“What are you doing?” I chuckled while shaking my head. “It’s freezing!”

She shrugged and ran her fingers through the waves. "Come on, the water's fine! Stop being a pussy." 

I raised a brow, the parallels suddenly becoming evident. Kicking off my shoes, I was thankful this time I wore shorts and not skinny jeans as I followed her into the waves. 

"You're insane," I chuckled after reaching her in a couple of large strides. 

Her hands linked behind my neck, playing with the ends of my “ocean fucked hair” with a stunning smile on her face. Both of us were knee deep in the water, our clothes soaked, but neither of us cared. The way she always came alive and free out here made me smile.

“My little duck,” she breathed.

“My little crow,” I mused before capturing her lips in a slow and methodical kiss. 

Every part of it was thought out. The way my tongue brushed along her bottom lip before exploring every inch of her mouth. Her hands continued to play with my hair while mine gripped tight against her soft skin, leaving half crescent shapes from my nails.

"Fuck!" I cursed when cold water splashed up at my chest, Y/N doubling over in laughter as she splashed me again. 

Still reeling from our kiss, I bent low at my knees with a sinister smirk. "You think that's funny?" 

"No!" She began backing away from me, doing her best to walk through the waves. "Don't. I'm sorry." 

Y/N was laughing so hard she could barely catch her breath and seeing how alive she looked right now made my heart soar into my throat. I nearly clutched my chest at the feeling. 

"NOWAAH! NO!" 

I tackled her into the water, bringing her underneath the waves with me, our laughter carrying up to the night sky. 

Once we were back on our blanket, somewhat dry and staring back out into the water, Y/N squeezed my hand. 

“Thank you for today, mochi. This was a great redo date,” she rested her head against my shoulder. 

I brushed a kiss along her forehead. “Anything for you, angel.” 

We stayed like that for a few beats of silence, until my always racing mind thought of something. 

“I think I have an idea for the next music video,” I said quietly, gazing at the empty beach. 

We’d been the only ones here since I chose a very secluded area, which made what I planned next even more special. 

“Oh, is it the music video?” Y/N raised a brow before walking a few paces in front of me, then looking over her shoulder. 

She was too far for my liking so leaving the guitar behind along with the song I had planned to play for her, I followed her down the beach again until we came to a sudden stop. 

“I still want to play that song for you,” I said. 

“Just five more minutes. I love the way the waves sound right now,” she replied. 

The sound of the waves crashing echoed all around us, trapping us together. The salty brine lingered on my lips as I licked them, watching Y/N stare out into the vastness of the ocean in front of her. She stood with arms stretched wide and an even wider smile on her face. 

"Do you remember what you told me the last time we were standing on a beach together?" I asked while brushing away the hair that blew into her face. 

With the hair tie around my wrist, I helped her by putting her hair up into a small bun.

She giggled with a nod. "It can't rain all the time."

The memory of us together, all that time ago, was one of the few that replayed in my mind on a loop. Her face filled with so much worry about how she would deal with the Trey situation and afraid that she would drown in the rain. 

But now she glowed with the last few rays of the sunset, the metaphorical halo she wore proving why her nickname fit her so well. 

Angel. 

With one arm wrapped around her shoulder, holding her close to my chest, I dug my toes deeper into the sand trying to keep myself grounded. The entire day had been perfect, our redo date becoming a new favorite memory of mine, but there was still one thing left to do. I wanted to do it while I played the song for her but my soul was yearning for it now.

My other hand was stuffed into the pocket of my shorts and it felt like it was wrapped around a weight. My heart would not stop pounding in my chest and I was sure Y/N could feel it against her cheek. 

"Angel," I began with a long breath. 

Just then, her phone began to ring causing her to pull it out of her sweater with a sigh. She went to ignore the call but when I noticed the caller's I.D, I motioned for her to stop. 

"That's the fourth time they've called today, Y/N. You should answer it." 

She frowned. "But I don't want to ruin the rest of our night." 

I pressed a soft kiss to her lips, humming at the taste of her lip gloss. Lately, she has been tasting like honey.

"It's alright. Answer it." 

Nodding, she accepted the call with a smile. "Hey. Sorry, I've-." 

The words died on her tongue as she fell away from me, those bright eyes dulling like the dark cloud that suddenly formed overhead, crackling and booming into the air. Frigid rain drowned us in place and with an unimaginable weight that anchored us, I watched as the light around her halo shattered. 

[eetherealgoddess]

i’ve been getting some requests on wattpad so i thought i should finally write one of them <3

reader operates as both a cop and detective btw

ꨄEdge Of The Lawꨄ

Oneshot - Yandere Bonten Au

❦You’re a detective who has spent years trying to take down Bonten❦

Sano Manjiro, Hanemiya Kazutora, Sanzu Haruchiyo, & Haitani Brothers x Reader

Not fully proofread

MY TR FANDOM WORKS ARE ONLY ON TUMBLR & AO3 UNDER EETHEREALGODDESS! REPORT IF YOU SEE IT POSTED UNDER ANYONE ELSE BUT ME!!!

I apologize if I get any Japanese etiquette or culture wrong, I literally have to research the culture for some of my fandom stories so if anything is wrong, please excuse my ignorance.

Notice:

✩Y/n is 18+. I picture her as a black female but you can see her however.

✩Some parts of the story may not be realistic or factual. After all, this is a work of fiction.

✩Although it's a dark 'romance,' I do not condone any of the behavior displayed.

✩Dark content such as: gore, violence, triggering topics, graphic scenes, vulgar language, explicit sexual content, etc.

✩There may be scenes that involve non con and/ or dubcon so don’t read if that makes you uncomfortable

✩That being said, this story is for 18+ only.

Enjoy!

Edge Of The Law

It had been years since you hopped on the case regarding the infamous criminal organization Bonten. Having put in an exceeding amount of work in tracking their illegal endeavors as well as the individuals who cause the gang activities to soar. So far the only information you have been able to obtain was that you have a few traitor cops in your vicinity, one who very well may be the chief.

Unfortunately, the only proof you’ve received was during a personal outing of your own. You sat on a stool in the dimmed bar, a low melody playing in the background from the speakers connected to the ceiling. Only a few people were scattered around the room, sitting in their own booths or a couple stools down from you, sipping on their drinks as they talked amongst themselves. Your bartender had just finished your drink, sliding it over as you immediately downed the beverage.

“Damn, tough day?” The woman chuckled, continuing to make the other customers’ drinks as she conversed with you.

“You could say that.” You motion for another as you remember the frustrating discovery of all the paperwork you had on the case completely missing, nowhere to be found. You could only determine that it was an inside man’s job, a dirty cop who knew exactly where to find the confidential information.

After downing four shots while conversing with the bartender, you walk towards the bathroom. After releasing your fluid and washing your hands, you stepped out of the bathroom, perking up when you noticed a familiar individual who just exited the male’s bathroom. Although he wore casual clothing, you could tell he was your chief, having worked under the guy for years.

You follow him from afar, dropping some cash on the bar table as you make your way outside. You stood at the corner of the building, staring ahead as you peaked around the wall into the alleyway. You crouch as you make a run for the dumpster, basically prancing on your tiptoes so he wouldn’t catch you there. You kneel on the dirty ground, peaking out to watch him.

The chief stood in front of a tall man wearing a suit. You couldn’t hear anything but slight chatter, both parties standing too far for you to hear the conversation so you took a moment to view the suspect in front of your boss. One of his hands moved to swipe through his hair, fingers entangling with short purple strands. His purple irises gaze ahead lazily as his expression remains blank. What stood out to you the most was that symbol on his neck, prominent and black.

“That symbol…” You murmured to yourself before taking your phone out of your pocket and snapping a few pictures of the two men, one a close up of the broad male.

You sat at the desk in your room, searching through your drawers and folders of different forms and pictures you had kept. You weren’t allowed to have some of the papers in your personal home, though there were key points in some of the cases you were assigned that stuck out to you, resulting in off duty research.

Grabbing a familiar folder labeled, ‘Mark of the Prey,’ a dramatic name you so boringly created for the information inside. You snatch it open, searching through until you make an abrupt halt. Pulling the page out, you placed it next to your phone that displayed a close up of the man who spoke to the chief.

“Knew it.” You huff as you compare the symbol of Bonten to the tattoo embedded on the guy’s neck. Although this discovery confirms your suspicion, you have no clue why your chief would be in cahoots with the organization other than the fact that he’s working with them. Unfortunately, you don’t have enough proof.

The following days, you had decided to figure out a way to look through your boss’s office for any clues regarding his partnership. The first thing you want to come across if nothing else is your original paperwork that you kept hidden in a specific drawer. The only person who would’ve known the correct placement was your boss. You knew you had to wait for the perfect opportunity so you patiently waited for the right moment to sneak into his office.

It was hard, but you finally found the perfect time during a lunch break to search. You had no idea when he’d be back so you quickly searched through file after file. You were careful to place everything back in place to not raise suspicion. You sigh in frustration when you’re not finding the target, standing up from your place only to make eye contact with your chief.

He stepped in slowly, shutting the door behind him as he made his way closer to his desk. Still keeping his distance you both stare at one another in silence. Considering you’ve been caught, you decide not to waste any time.

“You’re working for Bonten, aren’t you?”

The middle aged man continued to stare at you before placing his hands in his pockets.

“There was a reason I dropped you from the case, Y/n.” You recall the utter pit in your stomach the moment you were dropped from the case, having spent a lot of time and effort finding all the evidence you could.

“Where is the paperwork?” You give him a stern glare. He sighed before shaking his head.

“You never stop, do ya? You wanna die or something?” He growled, a look of irritation crossing on his face, “I spared your life by dropping you, otherwise you’d be next on their list.”

“Do you realize what you’ve just done? Do you understand the gravity of what you’re doing? Partnering with the enemy? Are you out of your fucking mind?” Your palms slam on the desk as you lean slightly forward, anger and a sense of betrayal overcoming you.

“You have no right to question my decisions! I do what I have to do to survive. You should be thanking me!” He roared, stepping forward. “They’ve had their eyes on you ever since you started that case! They know what you look like, where you live, where you come from, and more!”

An abrupt siren echoed throughout the building, indicating a warning. The same sound you were taught when there’s been an ambush. Shocked, you immediately snatch the gun from your holster, as did your chief right before you both stretched your arms out to aim the weapons toward each other.

“Saved my life to take it right?” You yell over the alarm, standing at attention.

“This isn’t how I wanted this shit to go! You just couldn’t stop shoving your nose where it didn’t belong!”

“You assigned me to the case! What else was I supposed to do other than my job? You make no sense!”

“I didn’t expect you to find some of the things you did! For what it’s worth, you were my favorite officer!”

Just as he cocked the gun, you gasp when a figure appears from behind him. The sound of a shot rang out, the bullet penetrating your boss in the head, a hole formed as blood splattered on the floor and his uniform. The chief falls to the ground, landing on his body. You move to aim at the culprit, pulling the trigger multiple times as he dodges the bullets.

The sound of glass shattered behind you as another person kicked through the window. You turn to the side to keep both people within your vision, backing up until your back is barely touching the wall. Your gun is aimed at the man with two blonde strands hanging over his face, the rest of his dark hair pulled back in a ponytail, revealing the tiger tattoo embedded into the skin of his neck. His left hand holds a gun aimed towards you, arm stretched out as a smile grows on his face.

The man who killed your boss stood next to him, his right arm held out as the barrel of the weapon was in your view. His bangs fell over the purple eyes that held a sense of familiarity, strands of hair falling into a mullet. Your eyes widened when you saw the tattoo on his neck, the same symbol you had seen on the man before who looks slightly similar to the person in front of you. He wears a bored expression.

“Don’t make this harder than it needs to be.” Kazutora dodged the bullet coming his way by moving his head to the side, the metal only grazing his cheek. A small line of blood slides down from the small scratch.

“Who put you in charge, huh?” Before you can shoot him again, another shot rings out followed by a sharp pain shooting through your thigh.

“Fuck!” You hissed before looking down to where the blood seeps through your uniform as you place your trembling hand above the wound.

“You have shit aim.” Rin says to you before aiming at your shin resulting in you shifting out of the way before the bullet can land.

Another shot rang out as Kazutora pulled the trigger, missing as you rushed behind the desk, landing on your bottom. You set the gun down before pulling off your uniform jacket and pull the fabric with your teeth, tearing the sleeve. You wrapped it around your thigh quickly before snatching the gun.

You knew this wouldn’t end well for you. All you could do was survive the best you could. Before you could turn to shoot, a foot kicked the gun out of your hand before two hands grabbed the shoulders of your shirt, yanking you up. Suddenly a fist connects with your face before your vision is engulfed with darkness.

“The surveillance has been disposed of.”

Your eyelids flutter open as you come back to consciousness. The pain on your neck is prominent from your head hanging over while you were knocked out. A soreness appears on your check as you remember the fist impacting your face, knowing a bruise will probably form. You eye your thigh with a hazy vision, the blur of the blood that seeped through the fabric wrapped around your thigh, the throbbing pain still prominent. You accidentally release a groan as you pull at the cuffs, your arms secured behind the chair’s back uncomfortably.

“Good.”

You lift your head slowly, eyeing the figures that stood at a distance from you.

“You’ve been such a pain.” You hear from the shortest man standing in the middle. His onyx orbs bore into you intensely, despite the lack of expression. His platinum hair shapes the structure of his face.

“Sanzu.”

The pink haired man lifts an arm as he aims the gun towards you, cocking the weapon before pulling the trigger. The shot rang throughout the building just as the bullet penetrated your shin on the opposite leg of the wound on your thigh.

“Shit!” You spit out, breathing slowly as you attempt to tune the pain out, failing as the agony grows by the second. Your hands are in fists as your nails leave indents on your palms.

The blue eyed man’s scars stretched as the grin on his face grew. Excitement is apparent in his expression, the sound of your ragged breathing a beautiful melody to his ears.

“You will work for me in place of your boss.”

“Fuck you.” You growl as you feel your blood fall down your leg.

“I’ve been watching you for a long time. You are my secret weapon. Your skills give you an advantage that will be to my use.” You scoff.

“I’m not doing shit!” You exclaim.

“S/n and B/n. They are your siblings right?” Mikey questioned, hands behind his back. Your eyes widened as you glared at him.

“M/n, D/n, and F/n.” He takes a few steps towards you, revealing the darkness under his eyes.

He continued to name off colleagues, friends, family members, and even the bartender you’ve become close to. You gasp when he begins to list off the addresses in which your family members reside.

“That’s enough!” You hissed.

“Show some respect in the presence of the King, Rat.” Sanzu growled before aiming his gun towards you. Mikey holds up a palm, the executive obeying his command.

“You will do as I say.” He said before turning around and heading to the exit, all of the men following behind. You’re left in darkness once the door to the warehouse shuts.

Days pass while you rot in the warehouse, blood already dried from the wounds that may or may not get infected. The pain, although prominent, has slightly numbed. Your whole body is sore. You had thought everything through, deciding that you have no choice in the matter but to go against your morals. You had to protect your family. You only just now understand why your chief did what he did.

After your placement in Bonten was secured, once you received medical attention by their personal doctors, you were sent back to your detective job as an undercover criminal. Before you know it, months pass as you become used to your routine, something you didn’t want to happen. Of course, there was no enjoyment in feeling dirty or like a coward. Everytime your shift at the department closed, you would return to headquarters where you were forced to reside considering their lack of trust for you. You would inform your boss of anything he needed to know or an update on any assignment you were commanded to complete.

There were moments when you thought of different escape plans or to set them up, but one of the executives always had an eye on you. You knew you were being watched every moment you were at work or even around headquarters. It had you on edge and walking on eggshells. You truly felt helpless but you didn’t stop trying to think of something.

You’ve never been the type to be a seductress. Sure you’ve worn sexy clothes a couple of times and had a fair share of dates before you started working as a cop, but you’ve never actively seduced anyone before. Considering your predicament and no better idea, you decide to work on your skills. You visited the Haitani Brother’s strip clubs more often since a few of the men would go on outings and those were the only times you were allowed somewhere other than the department.

You observed the behavior of the strippers and waitresses. You even studied the bartenders and the customers. You watched the interactions carefully. You knew that if you played your cards right, you could gain a little more trust. Enough trust to help them slip up and for you to make an escape and notify witness protection before they can go after your family. You will gain as much evidence as you possibly can to ruin them once and for all.

Weeks pass and you’re seated on a chair in the VIP section of one of the brother’s nightclubs. The thick smell of marijuana, tobacco, and alcohol fills the air. You eye the first victim who sits on the sofa with a blunt in hand, black and blonde hair falling past his shoulders as he leans back in his seat. He blows the smoke out slowly with a dazed look, the woman who was sitting on his lap hopping up after he pats her thigh, telling her to grab him a drink. You take a deep breath, eyeing the other men to see the rest of them distracted, whether they’re entertaining a woman, gambling, or sniffing cocaine.

You exhale before making your way to Kazutora, sitting next to him, though not too close. Your hands begin to tremble as you stare ahead, second guessing your plan as you’re ready to run off. Before you could leave, a hand guides your chin, forcing you to look into the golden orbs that shine through the dark light beams.

“What’s on your mind, Doll?” He questions before releasing your chin and handing you the blunt. Before you became a police officer, you would smoke weed in your youth. Having not had it in a long time, you shake your head.

“T’s not a request. Smoke it.” He says with a heavy lidded gaze and a sly smile. You huff before taking it from his fingers, the wood placed between your index and middle finger as you place the end to your lips.

You immediately cough after sucking in a little more than you could handle, no longer having the lungs for this kind of thing. He laughed as your vision blurred from the tears, a burning sensation filling your throat as you handed it back to him.

Once you are done, you realize that you are higher than you expected to be.

“Oh shit.” You whisper as you stare into space.

“Here, let me help you.” You heard from beside you. Fingers grab your chin once more, turning you towards the man who takes a long hit of the blunt before turning to you and leaning in very close.

“Open your mouth.” You comply as he leaned in closer, the tips of your lips barely grazing the other as he slowly released the cloud into your mouth, his gaze still on you. After breathing in, the weight of your body felt heavier as you became in a more relaxed state. You leaned back against the sofa as you gazed into the room with your own heavy lidded gaze. The plan you had escaped your mind as you zoned into the colorful flashing lights.

“Someone’s in another world.” Ran said as he sat next to you on the other side. His leg pressed firmly against yours as he placed a hand on your healed thigh. You could smell his cologne as well as the tobacco lingering faintly. It was a nice fresh yet earthy scent.

“You smell good.” You say, not bothering to be shocked that your thoughts escaped your lips without any control, something that used to happen all the time when you got high.

“Thanks, sweet girl.” His smile grows as he observes your flushed face, gazing into your features before chuckling and grabbing the glass cup from the table.

You had no clue why you said that. You’ve never been anything but professional around these men. The hand gripping your thigh caused you to look down.

“Hey, what about me?” Kazutora gives a fake look of offense before handing Ran the blunt, causing you to snicker.

“I wasn’t paying attention.”

“Now you are.” He says before wrapping a hand around the back of your neck and pulling you to his chest. Your nose was nuzzled in between his shoulder and neck, the smell of marijuana thick along with the faint smell of cologne.

He hummed before circling both arms around your waist and pulling you closer, your leg forced on the other side of him as he yanked you on top of him, your hands landing on his shoulders. You gasp in surprise, the bulge prominent against your core as your pencil skirt rises slightly.

“Oh?” Ran says before taking a hit as his eyes drop to your skirt.

“I like this position better.” Kazutora smirks as he gazes into your eyes. “Isn’t this what you wanted anyway, Y/n?” You couldn’t focus on anything but what’s pressed against your pussy, your face heating up as your nerves begin to strike. The memories of your plans begin to fly across your brain though you only just now realized how terrible a seduction plan would be. You must’ve forgotten you were dealing with some of the most feral men.

“Let me go.” You say as his grip only tightens causing you to wince in pain.

“You wanted to seduce us right?” Your eyebrows furrowed. “You thought no one would notice your wandering eyes or suspicious behavior?”

“You really are so easy to figure out. It was noticeable when you first changed your clothing.” Ran says with his leg crossed and back leaned against the sofa, bringing the blunt to his lips once more.

“I have to admit, it worked.” Kazutora says while raising his hips, his erection rubbing against your panties as his hands moved to your ass. You gasp when you feel one of his hands pull your skirt all the way up to your waist, revealing your underwear.

“Feel that? You have me all worked up.” A smack on your ass caused you to flinch. “It’s all your fault.”

“Damn.” He whispered as he looked down at your covered pussy sitting on his bulge, hands rubbing up your sides before he shoves his fingers into the crevices where your stomach and thighs meet. You try to pick yourself up, only to feel something against the back of your head.

“I wanna play too.” Sanzu says behind you, gun pressed firmly against your head as you feel his hand rub along your butt cheek, gripping it before smacking the skin.

“Let me go right now.” You grit your teeth, nails piercing Kazutora’s shoulder as you tremble slightly. This isn’t what you had in mind when you planned to seduce them. Not only was it meant to be an individual thing, you weren’t expecting it to go as far as anything too physically intimate. How stupid you were.

“You should relax, yeah?” Rin says as he walks into view behind the sofa, leaning on the back of the surface with his hands as he gazes at you. He hands Sanzu the cuffs, the pink haired man pulling your arms behind your back and securing you in place. Kazutora kept his eyes on you the entire time, even when you looked away.

You felt Sanzu’s hand slide under your ass, rubbing along your panties as he glides against the slit of your vagina through the fabric, not a care for Kazutora’s bulge being in vicinity.

Tears threaten to spill as you angrily look at Kazutora, who brings a hand behind your neck before pulling you closer to his face, pressing his tongue to your neck as he rubs it along the skin. Rin leans over with a hand on your chin.

“If you bite me, I’ll bite harder.” He warned you before pulling you into a kiss. Kazutora moves from your neck before focusing on your breasts through your blouse. You gasp against Rin’s lips though he took the opportunity to pierce his tongue through your lips. He quietly moaned as he moved his free hand to the side of your face, fingers tickling your ear.

“You’re so wet, filthy girl.” Sanzu said quietly before using a finger to scoop some of the juice before bringing it to his lips, sucking the moisture off his finger before returning his hand to your pussy. He used one hand to move the panties out of the way and replace his hand, using a finger to ease into your vagina. He put the gun back in his holster as he distracted himself with the feeling of your vaginal walls sucking his finger in.

Rin released you, only for Ran to wrap a hand around your head and pull you in for a passionate kiss. You wince as he bites your lip, pulling on it as he pulls back before releasing, only to reconnect your lips together. Sanzu shoves two more fingers in as he stretches you out, causing a muffled yelp to leave your mouth.

Rin unbuckled his pants before reaching into his underwear to pull out his pulsating cock. Ran’s lips muffled the moans that escaped as Sanzu thrust his fingers deep into you at a steady pace. He cursed as he felt your hole tightening around his limbs. Kazutora unbuttoned your blouse to release your breasts that are covered by the bra. Not wasting any time, he reached into his pocket for the pocket knife, using it to slice your straps as well as the middle lining that keeps the pads connected. He pulled the remainder of the bra off and tossed it to the side.

His fingers grabbed your molds as he used his thumbs to fiddle with both nipples. You shut your eyes tight as he kept up the motion with one breast and leaned over to connect his tongue with the other. Ran releases you as he begins to unbuckle his own pants, just as Rin placed his palm on the top of your head before placing his cock near your mouth.

“Open up, pretty girl. I better not feel any teeth.” You turn your head away.

“N-No! Let me go, all of you!”

“Wonder how your family would feel to know that you’re getting fingered by one of their murderers right before I shoot their brains out.” Sanzu says softly against your ear, dazed by his own arousal. You frown as you clench your teeth from Kazutora’s tongue flicking your nipple, as well as Sanzu accelerating his pace.

“Come on, Y/n.” Rin says as he guides your head, you had no choice but to open your mouth. He exhaled as he eased the tip of his cock between your lips, warmth engulfing him as he gained a better grip on your head to pull you forward until the base of his erection was against your nose.

You shut your eyes as he held you there, forcing you to gag on his cock. A mixture of drool and precum slides down your chin as you breathe through your nose to the best of your ability. Sanzu removes his fingers before moving your panties out the way of your behind. Your eyes shoot open when you feel a wet pressure push into your asshole. He used two fingers, the residue slick making an easier access though the tightness stretched painfully.

You whimper against Rin’s base before he pulls you back, only to force you to swallow his erection once more. His cock slides in and out of your mouth at a steady pace, each thrust resulting in the head sinking down your throat. More saliva piles up as well as his semen, leaking as your head is guided.

“You’re a natural.” He moaned, thrusting his hips harder against your mouth as Kazutora slid a hand down to your pussy, feeling for your clit before rubbing along circles with a finger.

Ran rubs his own cock as he eyes your mouth taking his brother, focusing on the bulge that appears on your cheek as he can see the indent of Rin’s cock. He watched as the juices leaked from your mouth, listening to the whimpers and grunts that left your throat.

Kazutora removes his hand before grabbing his own hard cock from his pants. It flapped on your stomach before he guided you to lift up enough for the head to connect with your entrance. He used a hand to rub the tip against your wet pussy, moaning at the warmth.

“Sit.” He demands, using a hand to place on your hip as well as his other hand wrapped around his shaft to aim it correctly. He gazed at your full mouth, finding the mess beautiful on your face.

“Fuck…” He hissed as you lowered onto him, warm walls already sucking him in. “…this is exactly where you belong. Sitting pretty on my cock.” His hips thrust into you as your pussy engulf him fully. The tears streamed from your face as Rin neared his orgasm. Kazutora’s arms wrapped around your waist as he pulled you tightly against him, just as Sanzu added a third finger to your ass, ripping a ragged moan out of you.

Rin’s head falls back as he releases a moan, warm liquid shooting down your throat as he holds you in place, forcing you to swallow all of his seed. Once he pulls his cock out of your mouth, you cry out as Sanzu accelerates his speed, just as Kazutora begins thrusting into you. His cock slides as his feet push against the floor, legs spread as he begins to pound into you. Your juices slicken him up, allowing him better access as the tip of his cock immediately hits your g-spot.

Just as your head was about to fall on his shoulder, a hand holds you in place as another erection slides into your sore mouth.

“Look at me.” Ran commands, you obey as your eyes tearfully move towards the intense gaze he holds. You could hear Kazutora moaning as Rin sat on the sofa, rubbing his cock while he watched you getting plowed from three ends. Ran thrusts his hips as his cock slides in and out of your mouth, groaning as he keeps his gaze on you.

“M’ gonna cum so deep in this pussy.” Kazutora moaned, pounding into you as he forced your hips to meet his thrusts. His lips are apart as he gazes at you taking Ran’s cock down your throat, just as Sanzu used one hand to grab your neck. Your pussy clenched as the stimulation on your cervix caused you to orgasm, bucking your hips as you groaned loudly on Ran’s cock.

“That’s right, baby. Good fucking girl.” Ran praised you for your orgasm, your face heated more than it already was as a funny feeling formed in your stomach. Sanzu removed his fingers right as Ran cums deep into your throat, holding you in place as his brother did. Kazutora continues to thrust into you, forcing you to ride him even while you’re overstimulated. Your head was only able to drop on Kazutora’s shoulder for a second before Sanzu replaced Ran and forced your head up.

“You’re not done, yet.” He smirked before shoving his cock down your sore throat. Your jaw felt sore as it was stretched once more. You whine on his cock at the pain as well as the overwhelming feeling in your abdomen. He begins at a faster pace than the Haitani brothers not allowing you to adjust before he’s fucking your face.

Kazutora continues to hump into you, his head falling back as he groans, releasing into you as deep as he could possibly go. He pressed firmly against you to make sure his semen fills you all the way up. Sanzu’s thrusts become sloppier as he moans, releasing a curse before he bucks his hips slowly, pressing his cock all the way to the back of your throat. He forced you to swallow his cum as he stared down at you.

For the rest of the night you were rotated between each man so they could have a turn with your pussy, all the while causing you to faint a couple of times as your body was completely used for their pleasure. You were out for a couple of days before the dreadful routine of you becoming their cum slut began. They were brutal, more brutal than the first night as they twisted you every which way. Sometimes Sanzu would use you as an experiment by drugging you up with different products you never thought you’d try, praying to not be drug tested any time soon at your job though you knew Bonten would find a way to handle the problem.

In the midst of those days, you had forgotten who you were before. The darkness shaped under your eyes, you lack an appetite, and your poor body is worn out. Everyday felt dark, cold, and empty. You were lying in your designated bedroom, staring at the ceiling until the door unlocked and someone walked in. You shut your eyes as the person got closer, hovering above you before they leaned over, warm breath on your ear.

“Did they break you, yet?” You recognized the whisper to be Mikey’s voice. Your eyes teared up as they streamed down your face, turning away in a fetal position as your boss climbed into the bed with you. His arm snaked around your waist as his face nuzzled on the back of your neck.

“Now you know how it feels.” His lips graze your skin as he speaks. “To feel and be nothing.”

“You are my broken doll to play with.”

One day, you had enough. You were going to leave if it’s the last thing you do. Even if it results in your death, you don’t care. You were done with this. One day you had snuck a bag of sleeping pills Sanzu kept in a specific area in his office. This night was perfect because they’re supposed to meet up for a deal beforehand so Mikey will be there as well. When you arrive at the club, instead of heading to the bathroom like you said, you head to the bar.

After telling the bartender who you’re with, he hands you the bottle with the tray of glasses. He didn’t seem to mind that you hadn’t been a waitress which is perfect. You look around your surroundings before placing the pills in the bottle. You leave everything on the table for the actual employee to take it up so they won’t get suspicious of your excuse for the bathroom.

Once you make it back, you sit on Mikey’s lap like he commanded you to. Your nerves were struck as you watched the woman enter. Excitement prominent as you watch her pour the bottle before handing each man their cup, including Mikey. You watch as all the men take their shots, downing them quickly as they continue their play. You peek down at Mikey’s hand, seeing that he hasn’t taken a sip which made you nervous.

Just as the men started dropping on the sofas or chairs, your hands trembled as Mikey’s arms tightened around your waist, drink still in hand.

“When they wake up, I’m going to let them do whatever they want to you.” Tears appear at the corner of your eyes as the familiar lump forms in your throat.

“I’m going to allow whatever I didn't accept before…” His head dropped to your shoulder as he continued, “…you can drink the alcohol so you can rest beforehand, or you can save it so you’ll be asleep while they tear you apart.”

You stare ahead with a troubled gaze. The trembling became violent as you felt the urge to jump away, ready to run for your life. You subconsciously eye the bruises and cuts along your skin as you bite your lip to quiet the sobs.

“No matter how many times they break you apart, I’ll always be there to put you back together because you belong to me.”

[beegalactica]

The real 'glow-up' is all mental.

With it being the prime season for the 'how to glow up' guides to make their rounds in the media we consume, it is always worth reminding yourself that the only way you are going to 'glow up' on the outside is if you 'glow up' on the inside.

I personally get annoyed with the whole glowing-up phenomenon because it perpetuates this idea that there is some kind of 'end goal' in life and once you reach it, everything will be perfect. In a world where the idea of what it means to be attractive, intelligent, successful, or desirable in any way is constantly changing, there is only one constant: YOU.

You are a lifelong investment, and you are worth every penny, second, and ounce of effort you put into yourself.

Let's go over some of my glow-up tips and habits for you this year and examine how much of your levelling-up will really need to take place in your head.

Invest in your hygiene. This doesn't mean buying the most expensive skincare and having a 30-step routine, this means brushing your teeth every day, taking showers regularly and looking after your hair. Of course, we all want to achieve that 'clean girl aesthetic' but to me, simple hygiene is the best way to send a message to your body and mind that you care. Nothing says "I love you just the way you are" to your body like taking the time to clean it, care for it and pay attention to what it needs.

Invest in your surroundings. Now I know, making your bed every morning can be an unnecessary waste of time, especially if you're just going to end up getting back into it at night, but I like to think that my surroundings reflect my mental state, so if my room is a mess, best believe my mind is a mess too.

Invest in your interests. Start a hobby, pick up a new skill, try to find a book that interests you, or even start a Tumblr blog 😉😉! This year, I am focusing on really cultivating myself and becoming an interesting person who has things to talk about with people, instead of mindless gossip or resulting in self-deprecation to entertain others.

Invest in your happiness. Do what makes you happy. Distance yourself from those who seek to pull you down, to prop themselves up. You are worth so much more than that. Sometimes, those people are in our households, and the only way to cope is to know what makes us feel good and chase that happiness. Know that whatever issue you are facing shall pass and you will feel good again.

There is a common belief among people who may struggle with their self-image that once they fix this, or change that, everything will be perfect, but as someone who has had that mentality, it won't. If you want to lose 10kg for example, but hate your current body, waking up skinny tomorrow won't fix that voice in your head that tells you that you're still not good enough. If you love yourself as you are, and acknowledge that exercising is a form of self-love, and it doesn't take away from it, that mental glow-up will begin to manifest itself physically.

What's the point of others complimenting you daily if you don't believe it or can't accept it because you don't think of yourself the way that they do?

Trust me when I say this, my biggest milestone on my 'glow up journey' was not losing x amount of weight, but looking at myself in the mirror, first thing in the morning with no make-up or styling, and still being able to say "Damn, I'm so beautiful." And I can confidently tell you that to reach this point, I didn't set the intention of losing weight and trying to become more beautiful, I set the intention of loving and accepting myself the way that I am and all the actions that followed after stemmed from this love that I have. I didn't feel the need to exercise because I wanted to be skinny, but because I knew that it was what my body needed, and I loved my body so much that I was willing to do that for her.

It's easy to get wrapped up in so many things and lose sight of yourself, but when that phone is off and you're all alone, disconnected from the rest of the world, what do you say to yourself?

P.S. If you're reading this thank you all for the love on my first post! Opening Tumblr every day to new notifications has created this sort of excitement and extreme joy that I didn't even know was possible! Stay safe and take care of yourself 💗💓

[konuxkii]

ִ ࣪𖤐 𝙆𝙐𝙍𝙊𝙊 𝙏𝙀𝙏𝙎𝙐𝙍𝙊 𝙃𝙀𝘼𝘿𝘾𝘼𝙉𝙊𝙉𝙎

HELLO LOVES <3

A/N ; This is just a repost from my former account- I wanted to post something Haikyuu related since the release of the 'Dumpster Battle' movie and why not start with my favorite boy? This is also technically my first real post on this account so woohoo! Warnings : none other than Kuroo being a teasing bastard. Gender Neutral reader/y/n. Just fluff- Also this isn’t proofread because I happen to never proofread my shit so I apologize for any mistakes.

+ If you were the type of person to get embarrassed by what Kuroo considers 'cute things you do' he's never letting that situation/what happened go. Maybe he'll stop bringing it up and you're relieved that maybe he finally forgot and let it go- wrong. He remembers a lot of things especially about you silly + He’s just laughing it off whenever you start yelling at him. telling him not to talk about it and shut up or just your reactions in general whenever he brings up the “embarrassing situation” always makes him laugh. + Seriously, he's never letting it go. It'll be at a random time, random day, you two silently enjoying each others company or when you two are hanging out (with or without people around) and he'll just : "Hey y/n remember when you-" "NO. I don't- LET IT GO ALREADY" + He’d also try to tell other people about it like- “Oh yeah did I tell you? Y/n did the most hilarious thing yesterday! So they-” and you instantly drag him away or interrupt him by bringing up a new subject. And he’s just looking down at you snickering with that smug smile of his- + Aside from the topic of him loving to tease and embarrass you. Kuroo strikes me as the guy to LOVE physical affection and words of affirmation. He's constantly touching you or saying sweet things to you no matter what. When he's with you at school? Or really just anywhere in public. He's holding your hand or his hand rests on your waist/top of your head, or he's leaning down and resting his head on top of yours. He'd give you kisses on the forehead, hand, lips, cheek, anywhere and anytime. He does not care about PDA !! To an extent- + This also includes when you two are also just casually talking, you two are conversing about something dumb you did and he'll just sigh and shake his head with a smile before poking your forehead or cheek, or maybe pulling on your cheek while making fun of you for what you did. He just likes to poke at your face a lot during conversations actually. + He doesn't try to hide the fact he has a massive crush on you. He's constantly waiting outside your class right as it ends, leaning against the doorframe and looking at you with a smirk. He's not shy about the fact that he'll shamelessly send you winks from afar. Whether it's in class or cafeteria. If you pass by him in the hallway he'll look down at you with that smug smile and in that short period of time and greet you with a "Hey pretty/handsome" and then continue walking like it was nothing. + SOMETIMES a lot of times actually. You'll fluster him though without even realizing it. This is a common occurrence when you're staring at him, he'll blink at you for a moment, taking in your appearance..the way you looked at him, the way your eyes look, the way you slowly blink at him, the way- he'd stop is thoughts there before glancing away, trying to hide the blush on his cheeks before saying something about your staring to tease you.

Thank you for reading !!! I would’ve wrote more for the people who don't really get embarrassed (I envy you) or just more in general but tumblr kept crashing and I had to rewrite this like five times so- NO. I also ran out of ideas.. Anyways I'm accepting requests !! I write for JJK, CSM, HAIKYUU, TOKYO REV, and more !! No NSFW. Though I may be very late to requests so I apologize in advance...Have a lovely day / afternoon / night loves ♥

[thelov3lybookworm]

Hi! Omg I loved reading your Rhys x reader secret pregnancy fic! May I please request a Lucien x reader where he’s been cursed to stay in the form of an actual fox and the then reader comes along to break his curse? Thank you!!

Cursed

Summary: The mother liked being cruel to Lucien. First she had him lose his eye, and now his body.

•○●⛦●○•

Tw: mention of being a child of forced intimate relation, other than that, I'm not sure there is more, so let me know if i need to add anything.

A/n: my love, my heart, my baby anon. come here so i can sing you to sleep and cuddle with you because holyyyy shit i love this idea aaaahhhhh. (i am ready to be your tumblr wifey)

also, the beginning is basically our Y/n trauma/info dumping

anyways, enjoy!

(I had fun talking to you about this @artists-ally)

•○🌑○•

A twig snapped behind Y/n, and she rolled her eyes in frustration.

After wondering for a moment if she should ignore the animal, she decided to turn to look.

There, next to a mighty tree, crouched the fox. Abnormally large, fluffier than a normal fox, it had been following Y/n around for the better part of the week.

The moment Y/n met the fox's mismatched eyes, it tensed, as if ready to bolt. But then, after a moment, it relaxed, again staring at Y/n curiously.

The problem wasn't the fact that it was a fox. No, there were plenty of foxes in the forest near Y/n's home. But those foxes didn't follow her around or sit outside her door at all hours.

This one did all of that.

She wouldn't have been much bothered if it had been a normal fox following her around. But this one had a weird aura about it, like it was not an ordinary fox.

The fox suddenly moved, slowly prowling towards Y/n. She watched it, its body moving and navigating through the roots and fallen branches graciously, as if it were an elegant lady in the royal court.

Y/n shook her head, turning away and continuing on her journey to the cluster of trees deep into the forest to collect some fruit for herself.

The fox fell in step beside her.

She did her best to ignore the animal, though its unnatural aura kept her glancing at it.

Unfortunately, it also had her distracted, and she almost didn't pull up the hood of her cloak when a mortal man walked into view, carrying a bunch of firewood on his back.

But thank the forgotten gods, the man was too busy grumbling to himself to notice the pointed tips of her ears before she covered them.

Being a half fae was hard when living among mortals.

She could get killed if anyone found out about her heritage, and that was the only real reason she had for living on the outskirts of the small town, right next to where the forest started and away from the mortals.

And honestly, she cursed whoever the bastard was that had raped her mother and sired her for the inconvenience.

But she couldn't go down that path of thought, because if she did, she would just end up on the same thought that had her staying up at night and bawling her eyes out.

She was lonely.

It had nothing to do with the solitude of her house. No. It was because she was a half fae, and while other girls her age would mingle with other young men or whoever caught their fancy, she could not do so for fear of being killed.

She also had no family, her mother having died when Y/n was still young. Y/n had no siblings or relatives who could have taken her in, and so, she had learned to take care of herself.

She had also early on learned that the world didn't take kindly to people that were even remotely different from their perception of normal.

Especially beings who had a reputation to torture innocent souls for fun.

Y/n could not blame mortals for hating fae, as she herself hated them, though for completely different reasons.

It was not the best experience when you were scorned by the people you were a part of.

Hated by mortals for being a product of human-fae union, and hated by fae for being a half breed.

She sighed, shooing those thoughts away as she reached the cluster of trees she had been on the journey to, and set down her basket for a moment, stretching.

The fox settled down under an apple tree, and simply stared at Y/n as she went about plucking different fruits and berries and piling them in her basket.

Once she was done, she turned to glance at the fox, who sat unnaturally still.

She thought for a moment, then picked out a juicy apple from her basket. "You want one?"

The fox kept staring at her, and Y/n felt silly for trying to communicate with a fox. She huffed, putting the apple back in her basket and beginning to make the journey back to her little cottage.

•○🌑○•

"Do you think it will storm?"

The fox cocked its head, staring up at the sky before making a small noise, which Y/n took as affirmation.

"I think so too."

While a month ago Y/n would have laughed at herself for talking to -trying to talk to- an animal, now it had become normal. The darn fox never left her side nowadays, and Y/n had grown fond of him, letting him into her house and keeping him fed and warm. She had even named him Rusty.

Rusty glanced at Y/n before it settled down, laying his head on her lap, snuggling into the soft and fluffy material of her thick leggings.

A small smile made its way onto Y/n's face, and her hand lifted of its own accord, burying itself into the fur on the top of his head.

Y/n still remembered how she had felt uncomfortable around the fox because of the unnatural aura it gave off, but she had gotten used to it. Now, it was a companion who Y/n simply adored.

A long moment passed, and Y/n was not entirely sure it wasn't hours, but the sky darkened just a fraction.

Y/n glanced up in confusion, because she was sure it had been brighter just a moment before. Suddenly, the warmth in her lap vanished, and Y/n's head snapped down, her brows furrowed.

Rusty was no longer next to Y/n. He was across the clearing, and Y/n could not fathom how he had crossed the vast area so quickly. Her suspicions about him grew, and she realized his body was beginning to shake.

Y/n quickly rolled to her feet, her eyes growing wide when he began spasming, a tortured whine escaping him. She could do nothing but stare as his paws dug into the soft ground, pain filled sounds continuing to rip from him.

The moment Y/n stepped forward, hoping to do something to help Rusty, his head snapped up, a low growl he emitted leaving her frozen in place. And his eyes...

They were glowing.

Unnatural, completely otherworldly brightness radiated from him, his aura becoming ten times different from what it had been.

Y/n watched, her blood chilling, as he continued to struggle until the smell of something burnt reach Y/n.

Everything stilled after that, and Rusty collapsed, breaths heaving out of him.

And, the place where his paws had been, was nothing but burnt remains of the leaves fallen from the trees

Y/n studied the fox until he had gained enough strength to stand again, and his eyes stared back at Y/n.

She swallowed as the fox prowled closer. "You are not a real fox, are you?"

Rusty swung his head from side to side, his eyes boring into Y/n.

She nodded, wondering why she was even surprised. "Are you fae?"

His head dipped.

Y/n dragged her palms down her face, trying not to lose her shit.

"Why are you here? What do you want from me?"

He cocked his head, as if questioning her how he was supposed to answer.

She released a frustrated breath, going through all the reasons why a shapeshifter would follow her around.

She could only find one reasonable reason.

"Have you... have you been cursed?"

The fox dipped his head slowly, and Y/n took a step back, horrified.

"And you are here because you... what? Want me to break you free?"

The fox whined, taking a step forward.

"No." She stepped back again, continuing until her back hit a tree. "Fuck. No. I will not be used and discarded by you too. I will not..."

The sadness in the fox's -Rusty's -eyes nearly brought Y/n to her knees, but the fox simply dipped its head again after a moment, turning and prowling away from the clearing and, in turn, Y/n.

She watched him go, his shoulders curved inwards, looking defeated.

And, despite her instincts telling her to go behind him, she turned away too, walking in the opposite direction, towards her small hut.

•○🌑○•

The windows shook, their sound a little too loud in the small home, and Y/n's fingers curled tighter on the book, the pages crinkling under her fingers.

Thunder cracked somewhere, and Y/n flinched, squeezing her eyes shut. With a sigh, she put her book away, tugging her blanket closer for warmth. She turned to look out the window, where it was completely dark, not one tree visible.

And, despite her attempts at trying to ignore her worries about Rusty, she could not help but wonder where he was.

Was he somewhere in the forest, getting soaked by the rain, shivering?

Was he wandering around hopelessly, hoping someone took pity on him?

Y/n shook her head, telling herself she did not care.

But of course, she did.

Since the moment she had turned away from his retreating form, she had not been able to think about anything but him.

Y/n had never had anyone that particularly cared about her, so having even a damned fox use her for his own gain cut something deep in her heart.

But then a thought occurred to her, and all her feelings of betrayal were forgotten.

What if it is a child?

Or what if it is just like me, never had anyone who cared?

What if he gets incinerated in the storm by lightning?

Oh fuck it.

The second to last thought was what snapped Y/n's restraint, and she grabbed her cloak, lit a lantern, and set off to find her Rusty.

•○🌑○•

The rain made it even harder to see in the night, but Y/n soldiered on, determined to rescue the damsel in distress. Though the damsel was a male and could probably not be in distress.

He could have found a cave to snooze in, and Y/n was setting herself up to be sick for nothing.

Her heart didn't seem to care for that judging by the way it was screeching in her ears.

A flash of light caught Y/n's eyes, and she stilled, lifting her lantern higher, hoping she had finally found the sneaky bastard.

It was just a piece of glass, and Y/n cursed whoever had thrown it here.

After a long time of searching, Y/n spied a gap in the trees, knowing it led to a small cliff. Her instincts told her to follow the trail, and she decided trusting her heart was the better option than trusting her brain.

She had decided to ignore her heart in that clearing, and now she was stuck in a storm.

Lightning brightened the world for a moment, and Y/n lifted her hand to shield herself as she reached the cliff.

Unfortunately, Rusty was not there as well.

Frustrated, Y/n sighed, turning away from the drop.

And then she paused, her eyes landing on a bush.

Under which lay Rusty, shivering and curled in on himself.

Guilt spread through Y/n, and she stepped closer with caution.

His eyes flew open, his teeth bared as he searched around for a predator.

His eyes widened when he realised it was Y/n who stood in front of him now, and he ducked his head, as if ashamed.

Y/n walked forward, and watched as his shoulders curved inwards, trying to make himself small.

She crouched, extending her hands towards him, and he stared at it for a moment, then at Y/n before taking a tentative step closer, gaining more confidence when her hand remained unwavering. He stopped a few with his face a few inches away from her hand, and she reached out to pet his nose.

"Come," she whispered, "let's go home."

He stared at her for a moment longer, and Y/n felt like there were tears in his eyes, but she couldn't be sure because it could very well be rain water.

Navigating the forest to return home was much easier and faster than it had been searching for Rusty, and Y/n was glad about that, as she could think of nothing but changing into warm clothes and getting warmed in front of her fireplace now that she had finally found Rusty. Also, she had to wash Rusty and feed him. It had been long since he had left and Y/n doubted that he had eaten anything.

As soon as Y/n stepped foot inside her home, she shucked off her cloak, setting down her lantern and turning to find that Rusty still hadn't crossed the threshold.

"Come on in, Rusty."

She beckoned to him, and he trotted in, shaking his head to get rid of the water.

"Let's get you into a warm bath first."

Y/n hurried into the bathing room and turned on the faucets, letting the tub fill with warm water. Feeling eyes on her, she glanced back to see Rusty sitting patiently by the door, like a gentleman. Y/n smiled.

"Get in." She told him when the water had filled to the point she knew he liked. "I will go and get changed, and you get yourself cleaned up until then. We can have food after."

At the last part, his head snapped up, his eyes wide. But then he jumped into the tub, and Y/n was left to wonder why he seemed so shocked.

•○🌑○•

Y/n wrapped the tiny towel around Rusty, giggling at how funny he looked before she placed the red coloured bowl in front of Rusty, his favourite.

She stared at him as he began eating, and stared, and stared.

The air changed the moment he took his first bite, growing thicker and heavier with every moment that passed.

Confused, Y/n glanced behind her, and when she turned back to rusty, she let out a small scream.

In the place that Rusty had been occupying, sat a man... naked.

Y/n had never climbed to her feet so quick in her whole life as she did then, covering her eyes. But then she peeked out from between her fingers, seeing him blushing furiously while trying to cover up his private parts with the tiny towel. It was barely enough to cover up his chest, so he had to hold it with both hands like a curtain in front of his hips.

"Who the hell are you?" Y/n screeched.

She noticed now that he had hair like liquid flame, his eyes were mismatched, and he was... fae.

Realisation washed through Y/n.

"You- You're Rusty."

He grimaced. "Yeah, though I am a little concerned with that name. Can we please not use that? Like, Rusty? Really?"

Y/n let her hands fall to her side, settling on her hips. "You bastard, you should be grateful I let you stay and gave you a name. Imagine how weird it would have been in if I called you fox."

"Yeah, I think that would have been better than Rusty."

Y/n scoffed. After a moment, she spoke again, struggling hard to keep her gaze on his. She deserved a fucking medal for it.

"So... what was your curse? And who had so much free time to put one on you?"

A hint of a smile appeared on his face. "Don't you think this is kind of inappropriate to talk about while I'm naked?"

Y/n rolled her eyes as she moved past him, walking into her bedroom. "You never had a problem before when you pranced about, wooing all the female foxes."

She was now sure he was grinning when he replied. "Yeah well, they didn't wear any clothes either. If you were to strip..."

Y/n whipped around from where she was rummaging in her closet for something to gape at him. He grinned, leaning against the doorframe, his hands folded against his chest.

That meant-

Y/n turned away from him just as fast as she had turned to him, and no matter how much she denied it, the image of him... it would be forever embedded in her mind.

"Asshole." She mumbled under her breath, her hand landing on a piece of clothing she was unfamiliar with.

It was a pant she had stolen years ago, and later realised it had been too big for her. It would have to do.

Without turning, Y/n threw the pants over her shoulder, and by the lack of sound, knew Rusty had caught it.

It was a few moment before he hummed, letting her know he was done, and Y/n turned, her mouth going dry at all the muscle displayed.

She hadn't had the time to appreciate what she saw before, as she was trying not to make a fool of herself by staring at his privates, but now that he was covered from the waist down, she could not help but stare at what she could see.

"Like what you see?"

Y/n's eyes flashed up, colour staining her cheeks as she huffed.

"Of course not. You are still Rusty for me, and I'd never think of someone called Rusty as anything I like."

He scoffed. "Please, my name is Lucien. I'd appreciate it if you stop referring to me as Rusty."

She lifted her chin defiantly. "No."

He sighed. "Very well, my lady. If that is what you wish for. After all, you broke my curse, I can't really order you around anymore."

"Yes, about that curse. Care to elaborate now that you are appropriate?"

He nodded, a seriousness coming over him. He followed her as she led him back out, settling down in front of the fireplace as she boiled some water for tea.

Once the tea was ready, Y/n passed one cup to Rusty- Lucien- and studied him, watching as he fumbled a little with the cup before he got a good grip on it.

"Let's start from the beginning." She nodded her head for him to continue. "Do you remember the most recent war that happened?"

She nodded. The destruction had been immense, according to what she had heard through rumours, but she lived far enough away from the wall that no harm reached her.

"There was a continent called Hybern. One of my closest friends was pretending to aid Hybern so he could gather intel about the kingdom's and the king's inner workings so he could help Prythian when the inevitable war came. Soldiers from Hybern had stolen the cauldron from its resting place in Prythian, and they knew that it could make anyone young and immortal."

"What is the cauldron?"

Lucien glanced at Y/n with raised brows, but explained to her what the cauldron was, who the mother was, and all the things that probably didn't matter to the story just because she didn't know about them.

A power like that? People would kill for it. Y/n thought.

"My friend's past lover, who had been mated to another high lord, arrived in Hybern, and realised her sisters had been kidnapped. The king ordered the sisters to be put into the cauldron. One of them turned out to be my... mate."

The jealousy that ripped through Y/n was unmatched from anything she had ever felt. And for what? The mention of someone she did not even know? Ridiculous.

"The older one, she apparently took something from the cauldron, in turn making the cauldron take away the youth from the human queen put in after her. The queen was furious, and she allied with a powerful death sorcerer."

"He found out about my... relationship with one of the sisters, and before we killed him, put a curse on me, because I was standing the closest to him. He turned me into a fox, and I could only be turned back if someone who loathed fae gave me shelter and food, even after knowing I was fae."

"Powerful death sorcerer, and all he could think of for his last breath was to turn you into a fox." Y/n muttered under her breath.

A breathy laugh escaped Lucien, which then full on turned into howls of laughter.

"So, what, your mate could not help?"

"She probably could have, given she couldn't bear being near me, but she wouldn't have. Me being a fox gave her freedom to pursue whomever she wished."

Y/n sighed. "Is everyone from the other side of the wall dumb?"

He shook his head, staring into the embers of the fire, though a smile remained on his mouth. Y/n glanced out the window, realising the sun was starting to rise.

"We should probably get some sleep."

Lucien followed her gaze to out the window, and he nodded.

"I will take the couch, you should sleep on your bed."

"Nonsense. You have been invading my space for the past month like your life depends on it. It won't be a big deal if you sleep next to me."

"Sleep next to you, not with you?"

"You know what? You can sleep on the porch."

He laughed, standing and pulling Y/n to her feet.

He leaned down, pressing his lips to her cheek.

"Thank you."

Y/n blushed, shaking her head.

"I will leave as soon as I can."

Hurt pierced Y/n's heart like a bolt from hell. "Why?"

His brows furrowed. "Why? I have taken enough advantage of you. I don't want to impose."

She shook her head again. "I like when you impose."

He smiled.

"If you say so."

•○🌑○•

General Taglist: @bubybubsters @eos-princess @nightless @harrystylesfan2686 @cassie6392

Lucien Taglist: @kennedy-brooke @hnyclover @minnieoo @mirandasidefics @sidrapotter @hnyclover

[geritsel]

Robert De Niro Talks trump

Robert de Niro turns 81 this year. He still is everything Donald Trump is not; talented, intelligent, compassionate and – as far as I know – a man of a man of impeccable integrity.

Here’s Robert De Niro’s full statement about how Donald Trump should NEVER be president again:

“I’ve spent a lot of time studying bad men. I’ve examined their characteristics, their mannerisms, the utter banality of their cruelty.

Yet there’s something different about Donald Trump. When I look at him, I don’t see a bad man. Truly.

I see an evil one.

Over the years, I’ve met gangsters here and there. This guy tries to be one, but he can’t quite pull it off. There’s such a thing as “honor among thieves.” Yes, even criminals usually have a sense of right and wrong.

Whether they do the right thing or not is a different story — but — they have a moral code, however warped.

Donald Trump does not. He’s a wannabe tough guy with no morals or ethics. No sense of right or wrong. No regard for anyone but himself — not the people he was supposed to lead and protect, not the people he does business with, not the people who follow him, blindly and loyally, not even the people who consider themselves his “friends.” He has contempt for all of them.

We New Yorkers got to know him over the years that he poisoned the atmosphere and littered our city with monuments to his ego. We knew first hand that this was someone who should never be considered for leadership. We tried to warn the world in 2016.

The repercussions of his turbulent presidency divided America and rattled New York City beyond imagination. Remember how we were jolted by crisis in early 2020, as a virus swept the world.

We lived with Donald Trump’s bombastic behavior every day on the national stage, and we suffered as we saw our neighbors piling up in body bags.

The man who was supposed to protect this country put it in peril, because of his recklessness and impulsiveness. It was like an abusive father ruling the family by fear and violent behavior. That was the consequence of New York’s warning getting ignored. Next time, we know it will be worse.

Make no mistake: the twice-impeached, 4-time indicted Donald Trump is still a fool. But we can’t let our fellow Americans write him off like one. Evil thrives in the shadow of dismissive mockery, which is why we must take the danger of Donald Trump very seriously.

So today we issue another warning. From this place where Abraham Lincoln spoke — right here in the beating heart of New York — to the rest of America: This is our last chance.

Democracy won’t survive the return of a wannabe dictator. And it won’t overcome evil if we are divided.

So what do we do about it? I know I’m preaching to the choir here. What we’re doing today is valuable, but we have to take today into tomorrow – take it outside these walls. We have to reach out to the half of our country who have ignored the hazards of Trump and, for whatever reason, support elevating him back into the White House.

They’re not stupid, and we must not condemn them for making a stupid choice. Our future doesn’t just depend on us. It depends on them.

Let’s reach out to Trump’s followers with respect. Let’s not talk about “democracy.” “Democracy” may be our holy grail, but to others it is just a word, a concept, and in their embrace of Trump, they’ve already turned their backs on it.

Let’s talk about right and wrong. Let’s talk about humanity.

Let’s talk about kindness. Security for our world.

Safety for our families.

Decency.

Let’s welcome them back.

We won’t get them all, but we can get enough to end the nightmare of Trump, and fulfill the mission of this “Stop Trump Summit.”

For many Robert de Niro may be far too rich and far too Hollywood, but i consider this as straight from the heart. I love this man.

BTW... I have high regards for followers on Tumblr, some I consider as friends without ever having met them, but I completely understand those who get fed up with my political in betweens. I wish you all the best!

Regards,

Geritsel (Let Donald Trump never ever become president again.)

[dailyrothko]

Hi! I’m already drawn to Rothko’s art so much just by looking at his paintings on my tiny phone screen. But it is quite unlikely that I’ll get to see his paintings irl, at least not for a few years. Would you mind sharing your experience of looking at a Rothko? Thank you for putting in the work on this blog :)

Hi, I'm sorry I didn't answer this sooner but Tumblr has not been notified me that I have messages and I forgot to check. I've had a coupled of weeks of insomnia so you may have to forgive some languid prose.

In my early viewings of Rothko, I think my reactions were fairly standard exchanges with modern art when you're getting acclimated. Among these, were how big the paintings were, and I duplicated this surprise in my viewings of a couple of other abstract, expressionist painters, notably in my mind, Franz Kline, Jackson Pollock and Lee Krasner along with Rothko.

I think there's a hand in the hand reaction about the size that then you are aware the paintings are not hard edged, the way, say an Ellsworth Kelly painting would be. There's a plastic look effective in pop-art that Rothko strenuously avoided. They are undeniably sensual, almost romantic.

Once you get the size, you can really appreciate this because when you read art monographs or look at the internet, the lens is so reduced, one tends to get a constricted notion of color squares like you would see in a color theory book. However, the face-to-face confrontation reveals quite the opposite feeling of that kind of art.

It's a little hard to describe, but it's not that the paintings are completely soft. They have a lot of minor details, brushstrokes, stray lines and bits of splattered paint, but none of those colliding forces interfere with an overall limitless impression of the form that makes it very different from hard edge or gestural painting (like de Kooning). Part of what's hard to describe, is how it is not soft, but rather translucent, not vague, but flowering out to infinity.

I find with Rothko in particular that when you start looking, you want to keep looking. I suppose one of his detractors might say you're doing it because you're looking for something where there is nothing, but my experience with art is that, where there is nothing you quickly move on. Rothko might be equated in some minds with an Antonioni movie (Certainly Antonioni himself thought this) where it has a quality of nothingness but not one of no meaning. We read meaning into everything we are exposed to, it's part of how our brains process things, but perhaps Rothko's great skill is inviting you to look. i would not be the first to think so.

My tendency to invest in things I like leads me to unconsciously test myself as if from the outside, making sure that I am not fooling myself as to the merit of it (who wants to be a sucker, right?) and, I've seen a couple over the years that I felt didn't age well, maybe, something about them didn't look as alive, not the color combinations, but possibly something with the paint dulling overtime. I don't think galleries like to talk about it because the artist so valuable as an investment, but you do see, if rarely, paintings would you feel maybe age got the better of. Much of this, though can be attributed to the way light works with Rothko. The public tends to gripe when a gallery is not brightly lit, but Rothkos tend to wilt under bright lights and lose depth. This has a lot to do with the fact that Rothko painted in dim light like El Greco, and voiced his paintings to speak this way.

When they do work, which is quite often, it's pretty vivid, and I feel, entrancing. When I first got really interested in Rothko in my late teenage years, I did not know a single person who was interested in it among my group of friends and I bought a poster from the cover of Bonnie Clearwater's works on paper book and I hung it on my wall. It was a conversation starter because nobody liked it! I suppose that's the age where some people are geared towards something more classically punchy.

My feeling of the paintings, especially early in my life, remind me of an effect one might feel from music that you've never heard before, much like the response I had from the early rural blues music of the late 1920s. I didn't know how much I loved it exactly, I only knew that it was powerfully beckoning me to return. And, as one returns, you participate in a communion. You relax into it and the feelings you have rise to the surface, sometimes framing emotionally charged interchange between you and the art. I think that's a lovely thing to get from whatever kind of art you like.

Now, I am kind of an old hand at seeing Rothko paintings, but I rarely cease to be surprised by them and that maybe that is their finest attribute.

I can't imagine this helps much, but I hope that when you do see one in person, you will write and share your impressions, because after all, they are the ones that count

[eetherealgoddess]

i found your works recently and I FELL IN LOVE <333 if you feel up to it would you be able to write about a foreign exchange reader with any tr boy possibly ending in smut?

Thanks for the support! I love when you guys send requests and love!! I hope you enjoy this! ♡︎♡︎♡︎

Shoutout to @deadxyeyes for our brainstorming that led me to this idea!! The original idea we talked about was a bully au but then while I wrote the story, it became different and my brain just went on autopilot.

ꨄYou’re Never Leavingꨄ

Oneshot - Yandere Foreign Exchange Student Au

❦You catch Kazutora’s eye❦

Hanemiya Kazutora x Reader

Not fully proofread

MY TR FANDOM WORKS ARE ONLY ON TUMBLR, AO3, AND WATTPAD UNDER EETHEREALGODDESS! REPORT IF YOU SEE IT POSTED UNDER ANYONE ELSE BUT ME!!!

Pretend it’s all in Japanese bc you learned the language, except when you speak to the people from your home.

I apologize if I get any Japanese etiquette or culture wrong, I literally have to research the culture for some of my fandom stories so if anything is wrong, please excuse my ignorance.

I’ve only been an outsider to foreign exchange students visiting America when I was in high school. The reader will be from wherever you are and this will take place in college. I did a little research on studying abroad but I can’t promise complete accuracy!

Notice:

✩Y/n is 18+. I picture her as a black female but you can see her however.

✩Some parts of the story may not be realistic or factual. After all, this is a work of fiction.

✩Although it's a dark 'romance,' I do not condone any of the behavior displayed.

✩Dark content such as: gore, violence, triggering topics, graphic scenes, vulgar language, explicit sexual content, etc.

✩There may be scenes that involve non con and/ or dubcon so don’t read if that makes you uncomfortable

✩That being said, this story is for 18+ only.

Enjoy!

You’re Never Leaving

Preparing years in advance for this wonderful opportunity, you finally reach the end of your second week at your new college in Japan. Excitement fills your senses as you take a selfie to send to your friends back home while sitting in the study room of your dorm. Your plan is to complete a whole year, having saved up all the money you made from working in high school for this very moment.

You’re currently sitting in a chair with a foot propped onto the mini wooden table in front of you. Your laptop open on an incomplete assignment you had been working on for the past hour, deciding to take a break. Your eyes meet the door when you hear a click, watching as a man you haven’t seen walks into the room.

You analyze his features, attempting to ignore your thoughts that begin to race at the attractiveness of the guy who entered the study room. You grab your laptop and set it on your lap after setting your phone down, continuing the paper. You keep your eyes on the screen as the brunette with blonde strands sits in the seat placed beside you.

“You’re one of the new exchange students in the dorm right?” He greets, a sly smile as he leans back in the chair, crossing his legs once his feet were placed on the table. He eyes you up and down, observing your features as well as your different aura. You turn away from your screen to acknowledge him with a friendly smile.

“Yes, I’m Y/n.” His smile seems to widen at the mention of your name.

“Y/n, Y/n.” He says, your name rolling off of his tongue as he plays with it. “Pretty name. Hanemiya, Kazutora. Call me Kazu. Say, aren’t you bored of your homework?” One of your eyebrows raise.

“Depends on where you’re going with that sentence.” You respond, giving a sly smile of your own. In all honesty, no matter where you're in the world, completing papers has never been your favorite thing to do unless it was something you were interested in.

“Let me show you a good time?” He offered, a hand raising as well as one of his eyebrows.

You give a look of contemplation with a finger on your chin. Deciding that you can postpone the completion considering it’s not due for another one or two days, you shrug.

“Sure.”

Once you packed everything, he walked you to your dorm room to grab your purse and set everything else you had aside, locking the door behind you once you got all your things. Throughout the night, he took you to different bars and clubs as well as the other hot spots in Japan, you both taking pictures with each other as you enjoyed your time together. You hadn’t known but you had already caught Kazutora’s eye from when you first moved in. The unexplainable attraction caused him to search a little more about you, though he couldn’t find much besides a few selfies on your social media.

He decided to get your attention so he could get to know you, take you out and see you in a more laid back setting besides school. He didn’t regret it, you both having a blast with each other as you drank the night away and danced. He pointed out different foods for you to try as well as feeding them to you which caused giggles that he already loved so dearly to spill out of that pretty mouth. He just knew that you’d be perfect together, your personalities fitting very well. He feels a connection he had never felt before with his one night stands and past girlfriends. Yes, he knows it’s ridiculous to be this infatuated with you and you only just met, though he can’t control how he feels.

The end of the night finally came and he walked you to your dorm. Usually he’d be in the girl’s bed, already getting to know her intimately, though he had wanted to go a little slower with you, deeming this a perfect opportunity to obtain an official girlfriend at some point. Yes, he’s moving fast but it’ll be worth it when you’re in his clutches.

“When are you free tomorrow?” He asks.

“Anytime after the morning. Gotta call my boyfriend.” You respond. His delighted expression drops when he hears the mention of your boyfriend.

“You have a boyfriend?” He questions in disbelief.

“Yeah! He’s so sweet!” You say cheerfully before dismissing yourself politely, giving him a ‘goodnight,’ before walking into your room.

He stares at the door for a moment before he turns red with embarrassment and anger. This can’t be right considering the obvious connection you two seemed to have. He can’t be wrong. How could you have a boyfriend when you had so much fun together? This is your fault for acting so casual. Your fault for leading him on. Your fault for seducing him. A vixen you are. A sneaky little serpent who tricked him. He walks away from your room to enter his own.

Over the weekend, you hadn’t heard from your new friend. A little concerned considering he stood you up the next morning, not answering your messages or calls. You let it go with slight disappointment, going on your own adventure as you toured the area, video chatting with your friends a couple of times and taking memorable pictures.

When the week began, you still hadn’t heard from Kazutora until he walked up to you during a break.

“Sorry I stood you up. Something important came up. Let’s make up for it tonight.” He says, giving a charming smile.

“That’s okay. I’m cool with that, but let’s have a chill night. I have to wake up early in the morning.” He nodded in response before you both separated and went to your designated classes.

When the night came, you both met up in the same study room you met. He brought some alcoholic beverages which caused you excitement because it helps you stay awake. You drink as you both converse and complete assignments together. As time went on, drink after drink you began to feel drowsy and hot, sweat building as the clothes on your body began to feel tight.

“You okay there?”

Kazutora had been studying you the whole night after he gave you the spiked drinks. He made sure you kept drinking by innocent friendly contests with the shots filled with aphrodisiacs, along with sleeping medication.

“I-it’s so hot in here! I’m burning up, man.” You whine as you take your sweatshirt off, too intoxicated to care that you’re only wearing your bra and pants. He smirks as he eyes your chest, ready to grab them though holding himself back to make sure the plan goes accordingly.

“Come ere.’ Let me help you feel better.” He says, motioning for you to come toward him. Your eyebrows furrow as you try to hold your head up.

“W-wait, Kazu. I c-can’t get up.” You whisper, your eyes closing as you lean against the chair only to open your eyes wide and try to hold yourself up. You look at the floor with confusion as a heartbeat forms in your panties, wetness beginning to stain.

“It’s alright, I got you.” He chuckles, standing up from his chair and picking you up, setting you on his lap cowgirl style as he sits back in his chair.

“You’re so pretty, angel.” He states, using his thumb to caress your cheek which causes a shiver to go down your spine. You grab onto his shoulders as you feel a bulge form through his pants. Barely holding yourself up you try to push back, the sensation of your whole body weakening slightly scaring you.

“I-I don’t know what’s happening.” You say as tears form. He brings your face closer as he uses his other hand to rub your back.

“Shh. It’s okay. I’m gonna take care of you.” He says as he unclasps your bra with one hand. He tosses it to the side as he eyes your hardened nipples.

“K-Kazu?”

“Relax. Everything’s okay, baby.” He flicks his tongue against your nipple, causing your breathing to pause as you look down at his mouth. He continues his kitten licks before closing his lips around the nub, sucking as he traces your back with the tip of his fingers. You couldn’t help but release a quiet moan as your hips moved against his bulge. Both of your arms wrap around his head as you lean into the sensation, grinding drunkenly as your head falls back. He continued to rub your back and suck your nipple as one of his hands moved into your pants, fitting into your panties as he parts your lips with his fingers, pressing against your clit.

Everything felt intensified, causing you to be sensitive by even the smallest touch. Pleasure engulfs you as you grind against his finger, fingers tightening in his locks as you moan shamelessly. He rolls his finger as he stares at your eyes, both of you making eye contact when your head hasn't fallen black with your eyelids closed.

“Feels good?” He whispers against your nipple, slightly nibbling. You nod your head causing him to stop moving his finger. You look at him with confusion.

“Tell me how good you feel.” He demanded with a husky voice. God you want this so bad, he can see it all over you. He just needed to hear it. Yearning for your praise.

With your hands placed on his face you lean over near his ear and whisper, “It feels so good, Kazu.”

“Yeah?” His face pink with an intoxicated look of lust on his expression, eyelids heavy without his usual smile. You nod, “Yeah.”

He continues to roll his finger against your nub, placing his lips back on your nipple as you grip his head and roll your hips. Your mouth stays slightly open as your head falls back once more in awe.

“Take my cock out. I wanna show you how hard I am for you.” He pulls his hand out of your pants as you comply, moving back to where you're kneeling on the floor in between his legs. He sits as if he’s on a throne, watching you pull his erection out after unbuckling his pants and pulling them down along with his briefs.

“See that? See what you do to me, Y/n?” You eye the length quietly, observing the veins and how the thick girth pulsates. Your pussy tingles as you feel more juices spill, leaking in your underwear as you become more turned on by the second. An intensifying heat spreads throughout your body as you lean against his legs for balance, still going in and out of darkness.

“Show me a good time.” He smirks as you nod, gently wrapping your fingers around the length. You lower your head, circling your lips around his tip, sucking lightly around the lining of the mushroom. His cock twitches in response as he gives a slight moan. You close your eyes as you fit his entire girth into your mouth, easing down your throat as your lips meet his base.

“Fuck.” He whispers, pulling his phone out as he aims it to your face, eyeing the angle through his phone as he makes sure to get your bare titties in there once he presses record.

You begin to bob your head slowly, saliva and pre cum dripping out of your mouth as you wet his dick, engulfing it in warmth as he moans, lifting his hips slightly when his head hits the wall of your throat. Too occupied with his cock you open your eyes, too high to register that a camera is in your face. You don’t care. You don’t care about anything right now. You only care about receiving his nut like the good little vixen you are.

Tired of recording, he presses the button to stop it as he sets his phone down. Using a hand to grab your head as he lifts his hips once more, pushing you all the way on his cock.

“Good. So fucking good.” He breathes as he pulls his hips back and begins fucking your mouth. Easing in and out as he accelerates. You begin to hold his thighs as he roughly thrusts his hips, becoming sloppier as time passes. Edging himself, he pulls you back abruptly.

“Take off your pants and get on me.” He says, ready to explore that pussy. You drunkenly comply as he helps you before snatching you off the floor.

“Show me what you can do.” He states, guiding his head to your entrance before you ease down, moaning as his girth stretches you out.

“Shit!” You hiss as his head immediately meets your g - spot. You grab onto his shoulders as you pull your hips back and drop down, grinding as he holds your thighs, helping you as he picks your body up and slams you back down, speed accelerating.

You both breathe heavily in each other’s ear, moaning and cursing as his hips meet yours, rutting against you desperately as he bites down on your neck.Your hands reach around his neck as you grip his shirt, scratching through the fabric with your nose scrunched and eyebrows furrowed. Eyes rolled back into your head as you bounced on his cock.

“Yeah! Just like that.” He grunts, fingers gripping your skin, nails piercing as they leave indents, his mouth hanging open as he leaves open mouth kisses on your shoulder. The effects of the medication begin to take you as you almost faint on his cock, drowsy by the sensations as they overtake you before he wakes you by pushing you back and using one of his hands to grab your neck.

“Stay with me, angel. S’ fucking close.” You groan as his cock repeatedly hits your g-spot.

“So deep, Kazu.” You whisper as a moan follows, a warmth building in your core before he slams you down one more time, the pressure causing you both to finally release, his semen shooting deep inside you as he holds you down against his lap while you grind out your orgasm.

“You did so fucking good, Y/n. My beautiful girl.” He holds onto you tightly as you begin to fall asleep on top of him, unknown to what awaits you in the morning.

You grunt as the constant ringing of your phone wakes you up, your hand grabbing your throbbing head as you slowly sit up in your bed. Your eyes are squinted as you read the contact name, confused as to why your boyfriend is calling you so early. You answer with a croaked out, “Hello.”

“How could you do this to me? To us?” He exclaims. Your eyebrows furrow with confusion.

“What do you mean?”

“Look at what I sent you!”

You immediately put him on speaker as you comply, opening your chat. Your eyes widen and your hand goes to cover your mouth as you watch yourself sucking a random person’s erection, furrowed brows as tears form. You try to remember when this could’ve happened and how but you had no memory before today. Just distant memories of your first week in Japan.

“Derrick, I-I don’t know or remember, or even how this happened! You have to believe me, please!” You cry out, scared of losing the love of your life. The one you planned to marry. Tears threaten to fall as your hand shakes over your mouth.

“I didn’t know you were such a slut, Y/n.” You gasp as the line goes dead. You attempted to call him back but you were only met with his voicemail. You check the group chat with your friends to respond to all of the notifications, only to see the same video one of your friend’s said Derrick had sent to them. They shamed you and apparently blocked you. You searched their social media and couldn’t find anything.

You begin to cry, your life feeling as though it has fallen completely apart. You only hope that they won’t send the video around to anyone else at home, not that you knew many people personally. You skip your classes and sulk in your room, curtains closed as you weep for the rest of the day. You contemplate getting out of the bed when you hear a knock at your door.

With a blanket wrapped around your head and body, you opened the door to tell the visitor to go away. Of course, Kazutora doesn’t listen and walks in anyway, pulling you into a hug as he asks, “What’s wrong?”

You explain to him everything, anxiety filling your mind from your violation. You talk to him about how scared you are because of the unknown person you had sucked off, stds being a fear as well as just feeling shame in general. You couldn’t believe you allowed that to happen. He explains how it wasn’t your fault and he’ll go with you to the doctor’s. He embraced you and allowed you to cry on him. He knew you needed him. Heknew that you just needed a push in the right direction. He knew that there was nothing truly wrong with you considering it was just him. He’s clean anyway.

He was prepared for the tears and pain though he knew it would be worth it once you're in his arms. After a month of healing, you both became a couple, Kazutora asking you out in a romantic way. He had patience throughout the relationship, wanting you to be comfortable in your own skin once more. A year passes and you decide to stay in Japan, having nothing left in your old country. Having attended therapy, you both live on happily, though you are still unknown to the truth that ruined your life in the first place.