#not me on the verge of a nervous breakdown at work

[krumbaphant]

i am having multiple students not improving or struggling at school and i am doing my best but my best isnt enough

[pepprs]

yeah no im not going to lie to you gewls. the psychic damage of having to apply for the full-time version of my internship a year ago was kinda unbearable but like it made sense that i had to do that. but the psychic damage of having to apply for the literal EXACT same job that i am CURRENTLY IN just at a regular status with better benefits… is quite simply unspeakable. make it make sense.

[joyridingmp3]

it's been one of those days again

[back2bluesidex]

J-Hope Fic Recommendations (18+)

If you are already following me for quite some time then you should know that I am a massive masochist and I like to torture myself by reading and writing angsty stories. So, most of the stories that I recommended are angsty as well (might as well have sad endings). So please carefully read the warnings before proceeding. Have a happy reading.

And please don't expect much from me. There are several other rec lists far better than mine. The only motive I had behind creating this list to promote some of the stories, which I think are very underrated. especially angsty ones. These stories are beautifully written so.. I just wanted to let the authors know how phenomenal of a job they have done (As a writer myself I know how much this actually means). Thanks to these amazing writers and I am grateful that they decided to share their work here with us.

[Minors please stay away from my blog!]

Key: F - Fluff, A- Angst, S- Smut, Y- Yandere, *- Personal Favorite

Oneshots

1. Ash from his fire by @filmcrystal - A, implied S, cheating au

It will break your heart so please proceed with caution.

2. Forbidden Fruit by @deepdarkdelights - A, Y

This one deals with several triggering topics. Hence, read the warnings carefully. But I can say that you will love this twisted mafia Hoseok way too much!

3. Shadows by @borathae - A, exes au

One of the most underrated stories I have ever read! Yeah, it is very angsty and Hoseok is so cruel but... we all are masochist here. lmao!

4. Heaven sent by @aquagustd - A, F, S, f2l au

Sexy soccer player Hoseok is just another name for perfection.

5. Bound by @explicit-tae - S, kinda f2l

Talk abut BDSM! GOOOD Sweet Lord!!!

6. Jigsaw by @sunshinejunghoseokie - A *

I remembered crying after reading this one. So damn underrated that it physically hurts me!!

7. Delta Disorder by @bangtanintotheroom Y, S, Supernatural au

I don't usually read supernatural stuff but this demon Hoseok is way too sexy to skip!

8. Systems of Touch by @yeoldontknow - S, F, tiny A, S2l au

Beautifully written! The author used 100% of their capabilities to write this one. Perfectly drawn Professor Hoseok with a very attractive character of reader. Certainly a treat to read.

9. 2:00 AM by @likeastarstar - A, fuckbuddy Hoseok

Part of a series but can be read as a standalone. and Hoseok is a dick in this.

10. Love Quarrels by @mirahuyooo - A, F, mafia au

A cold yet soft mafia husband Hoseok chases behind his angry wife... could there be anything better than that?

11. The Hook Up ft. JK by @minisugakoobies - S

A little bit of a triangle.. but not love? if that makes sense.

12. Entelechy by @drmflm - suggestive (I believe)

Can't call this one angst and neither is this about Hoseok (he is there, don't worry). This one is more about the reader and her growth and it's beautiful.

13. Orgasms on the verge of a nervous breakdown by @sluttyandere - S, Y *

This is very dark and quite triggering, so please don't read unless you can handle those stuff.

14. For the night by @aseaofyoongi - A, S

I cried. that's all.

15. We Shouldn't by @beahae - S **

Hands down to one of my most favourite Hoseok smuts ever!!! This one has a Jimin follow-up so make sure to read that too.

16. Real or not real by @nmjoo-n - A, S, F **

Again one of the most exquisite Hoseok fics I have ever read!

17. Checkmate by @sunshinejoon - A, S

This was supposed to have a sequel but it is perfect regardless.

18. Do I wanna know - @yoongiphoria - A, f2? ****

Now, MJ knows how much I love this one. I often read this story and I never ever get bored of it! I love this to the core and you should too!

19. Scrap - @silv3rswirls - A, Y, S

Dark and sexy. Read the warnings carefully please.

20. It's a Promise by @sahmfanficbts - S, A, Arranged marriage au

Just read it.

21. Three by @hamsterclaw - S

Again.. VERY UNDERRATED!

22. Wonderwall by @kiara-ish - A with an open ending

Might not be for the faint hearted.

23. Infatuated by @bangtanfancamp - F

If you like high school love au then this one is for you.

24. Constellations of You by @persphonesorchid - S, F, established relationship au

This is so domestic that my heart almost exploded while reading!!

25. Burning flames or paradise by @/yoongiphoria - A, tiny f ****

MJ does magic.... that's all I can say.

26. Alone again by @archivedkookie - A, F

I loooove these kinds of stories. Just the right amount of despair with the right amount of hope... beautiful.

27. Feeling Good by @bonvoyagenoona - A, S

Everything I write about this will fall short.. so I will just shut up and let you enjoy the goodness.

28. Distracted by @dilfhoseokie - S

Ahem..

29. Drink Champaign in my airplane by @/bangtanintotheroom - F, S, F2l

Perfectly embodies a rich hot CEO friend Hoseok... a fun read.

30. Keynote by @missgeniality - S **********

MY MOST FAVORITE HOSEOK ONESHOT TO EXIST IN THE PLANET. yeah.. (this has a follow-up but I like this one better)

Series

The thing is that I don't usually read series. I just don't have that patience. So this list is pretty small and forgive me for that.

1. Transference by @dark-muse-iris - A, S, F, S2l *********************

[Completed]

I wasn't the same after reading this. I can't talk about this trantric therapist Hoseok, 'cause I will never shut up if I start.

2. Kanalia by @xjoonchildx - A, S, f (?) *********************

[Ongoing]

Honestly, who isn't a sucker for Lord Jung? You must be sick if you are not. (On a side note.. Kanalia is keeping me alive from jumping off trains on tough days)

3. Guarded by @/xjoonchildx - A, S, F, S2l

[Completed]

Mafia Hoseok with dogtags. I think that's enough of an introduction.

If you want to read the Hoseok stories I write, you can checkout my Masterlist.

[pandorasfavorite]

HIII I LOVE YOUR FICS!!!!

Now I saw the "kiss" between Dom and Liv, so I was wondering if you could make a fic between a subby bratty dom and a dom reader where the reader is watching backstage and gets really jealous, so when he comes back, she ignores him for a while, but then when they get home, she punishes him and there's like A LOT of smut!!!!! 😽😽

like SMUT SMUT SMUT SMUT SMUT SMUT!!!!!

"Thank you Emma" we all say in unison

Buried by Eyes

AN: we are gonna pretend he isn’t injured for the sake of the fic, also just know guys I love writing but it's just hard to do. I have two jobs so I'm trying to find time, but I can write the part two for this. its 1am

Jealously was one word for it, another 3 words for it was heartbreak, anger, and determination. Your patience was wearing thin every passing day your fiance spent being a good person. His sweet tendencies were one of the main reasons you fell in love with him in the first place. Dominik has actively been trying to make sure that Rhea didn’t have to face Liv for the title; something you see as kind. But also the more he worked toward it the more jealous you became to be. Why would YOUR fiance be working so hard for a mere friend? Though tonight was a completely different story, for 5 minutes after the kiss you racked your brain for reasons. It continuously played in your head over and over like a never-ending record; he didn’t seem to enjoy it but he didn’t push her away. He grimaced and wiped his mouth… minutes afterward. Would she linger on his lips when you kissed him?

Dominik on the other hand was flipping out; he really didn’t know what to do or what to think when he came face to face with you in 60-something seconds. Dominik’s hands were twitching and he was continuously shaking his head after every fearful thought. Therefore when he turned the corner, he cussed instantly at your disgusted face and crossed arms. You had still been staring at the small screen in the hall, that was now playing something entirely different; Dom could only hope they wouldn’t replay the kiss over again.

Dominik huffed out an anxious breath and shook out the tension in his hands. He knew the only thing he could do at this moment was to man up and apologize INSTANTLY. Even that wasn’t going to be enough; Dominik would be stupid to think otherwise. Surprisingly enough your head didn’t turn at the sound of him walking towards you; or even when he was right in front of you. Your eyes bored into Dominik’s and you didn’t say a word; your face was hard to describe. You looked angry, but it also seemed like you were blank-faced and weren’t really registering that it was your fiance in front of you. Dominik cleared his throat and looked down at you, “Baby-“. Your eyes flashed with a ripple of anger, and it seemed like you finally grasped who it was in front of you.

You said nothing; Dominik literally gulped and his hands went right back to fidgeting. He shook his head and tried again, “Baby, I know what you’re thinking right now-“, he cut himself off again at your look. This time you smiled and nodded; that’s when Dominik realized how bad this really was. Before he thought maybe it wouldn’t have rattled you much; but the sarcastic and sinister smile deterred his thoughts elsewhere. You take a step back away from him, Dominik surely felt his heart crack. “Tell me, what am I thinking right now Dominik?”, you had used his real name and you looked so furious; Dom was almost on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Yet he was smart enough to know answering that question was a trap.

Dominik was at a loss for what to do; he could only think of one thing that could possibly humiliate him for the rest of his career. Of course, you were more important; Dominik sunk to his knees in front of you and grabbed your hands to hold in his. “I fucking hated that and I didn’t have time to react, I need you to believe me”. You nod and look into his eyes; searching for lies when really they were drowning in truth. “I believe you”, would be the only thing you say until you get home… 35 minutes later.

Dominik apologized nonstop on the way home and through the door, so much to you've grown tired of the words being uttered from his lips. You of course felt many confounding feelings, which brought a horrible tension between you and Dominik. You didn't want to be mad at him, considering he was unexpecting and didn't kiss her back. Though you were only human, and the anger pricked at you with every thought. Dominik opened the door for you; only to follow you like a sad puppy everywhere you walked. One smart idea graced your mind when you walked into the house...you had stormed into the bathroom and grabbed a rag out of the closet. You pulled Dominik inside by the collar of his shirt and you slammed the rag into his hands. "Scrub them", you demanded and crossed your arms over your chest.

Dominik was astonished, so much so that he gaped at you like a fish. "What?", he asked and looked down at the rag in confusion. You titled your head at his question, "Did I stutter? I said scrub your lips Dominik, or you'll never kiss mine again". Dominik understood you that time, he never moved so quickly in his life to wet the rag and scrub his lips clean; nearly raw. After a bit of time, Dominik put the rag and looked down at you, his lips were red and swollen from how harshly he was working towards getting rid of any traces of what happened. Really it was for him and you; Dom was disgusted by Liv, to say the least. He truly didn't want to be around her EVER again if he could help it. Therefore after scrubbing his lips, Dominik waited for your approval.

You stood and looked at him with a long silence; you debated the next course of action. Part of you knew Dom honestly did no wrong, but fuck LIv and fuck Dominik for being around her in the first place. No really fuck Dominik. You had taken a step towards him, you grabbed him by the chin and made him lean down closer so you could inspect him. Your thumb traced over his raw lips; trying to decide how pleased you were. "You have two options", Dominik's breath hitched, "come to bed or sleep on the couch".

---------------------------------------------------

"m' sorry baby, please please let me cum', Dominik lifted off the bed to slide his cock up against your hand, "I've been good"

"Have you? Cause what I seen earlier was far from it"

Dominik yanked on the restraints with pent-up frustration; if he kept that up surely he would break free, "I didn't ask for that shit" he gritted. Your eyebrows flew up in surprise and your mouth fell into shock, you stopped touching him completely. You saw his eyes starting to water but you were still ridden with what happened on live TV, therefore you didn't humor him. "Now you're cussing at me, should I have you wash your mouth out instead this time?", you commented.

Dominik panted harshly; seemingly whimpering and groaning at the same time, "No no baby I swear, I'm sorry I won't do it again- fuck just- touch me. Touch me I'm begging you, I've been waiting so long mami". Dominik withered in need, and the more time he spent under your feather-light touches; the more he realized how much he detested punishments. You dragged them out, each touch made his body feel as if it was bursting into flames and his heart rate picked up when you fluttered your lashes at him; no wonder he is starting to hyperventilate with the idea of cumming. You trailed your fingertips down the side of Dominik's jaw and cheek and down his chest, loving the way he tossed his head back harshly against the pillow with a groan; in a desperate needy manner that only you could see.

You finally started to stroke Dominik's leaking cock, tears began to pool in his eyes and slide down his cheek. You'd be worried for him if it wasn't so abundantly clear the tears were from relief, not sadness. Dominik was in his own hazy world of pleasure, already feeling the being of a crushing orgasm-- it was so intense to the point he was mumbling without reason. "that's it, just a little more sweet girl", he begged you when he wasn't in the position to be telling you anything. Next, he will be tirelessly eating you out, longer than he can stand.

[weirwoodsugar]

lil jon things i am obsessed with/think are hilarious in the order they occurred to me at 3 am

-spends the first book telling anyone who will listen that he’s Not Afraid To Die and then a wight shoves its whole hand down his throat and he’s like wow that was actually extremely scary and never says that shit again

-always got little Things he says to himself but they’re all awful. very bad affirmation game no wonder morale is low

-“did lord eddard father you on a fish wife”

-the doubts that plague me can’t catch me if i just keep making Decisions!!! let’s hear it for Decisions!!!!

-arguably contender for top woman respecter but batting absolute zero at successfully comforting crying women. unless you consider “making her mad at you instead of upset” a success

-i’m not a wolf! i’m not a wolf!! i’m not a wolf!!! while warging like almost constantly with zero control. babe i don’t think your affirmations are working you’re experiencing non consensual smells at an alarming rate

-i wish mormont was my dad wait no i wish benjen was my dad wait no i wish qhorin was my dad wait no i wish donal noye was my dad. will someone be my dad please i just keep making decisions

-constantly having Agonies over ethical decision making while the rest of the continent hasn’t even really invented the concept of ethics yet? on the verge of a nervous breakdown due to his constant Agonies

-related: love is the death of duty but having strong ethical convictions/clear moral vision is also kind of the death of duty oops! aemon didn’t warn you about that one!

-stannis wants to davosify this kid mega bad

-“jon felt like he was fifteen again” (said when he’s literally sixteen)

-has a terrible violence in his heart but it’s kind of the least of his problems tbh. like yeah my fire and blood levels are a little elevated but i’ve got paperwork i need to take care of

-RUNNING DOWN THE TABLE AT YOU WITH A KNIFE!!!!!

-last of the giants fixation. god he’s gonna be so mad when he comes back and wun wun is dead. this one isn’t hilarious it’s deeply moving and endearing

-an eagle almost rips his eye out and he’s like well i guess i have no choice but to have sex with ygritte at least one dozen times. it’s a tough job but someone’s gotta do it

-just a crazy amount of anime main character pre-loaded swag (bastard of winterfell skin changer with an albino direwolf and a cool sword which he can really SWANG and cool facial scars etc etc) and is actively working against it. rolled super high on charisma and is trying to balance it out by being as much of a boring fuddy duddy as he possibly can. the devil works hard (at making me cool) but i work harder (at being very uncool). it is an honorable thing to be swagless by choice…….

-pretty sure he actively enjoys saying no to people. just for love of the game (the game is being disagreeable). very capricorn coded. likely brushes his teeth in the shower.

-REMEMBER WE KNOW WHERE YOU SLEEP 😈

[natjennie]

I was thinking about how some people have found junior year to be kind of mmm lackluster because the bad kids just kind of. win every fight like it's nothing so that's not interesting. which is a totally valid and understandable position to take. but the more I thought about it I kind of landed on the fact that that might be the point. they're good at fighting. they're good at investigating mysteries and they're good at combat and they're good at magic. they've been training for it for 2 years. but yknow what they're not good at? yknow what they did struggle with this season? being teenagers. being teens in junior year of high school.

gorgug worked his ASS off to figure out how to combine rage and artificing, and everyone told him he couldn't. kristen's god has been dead and she's been desperately struggling to hold on to her because it's the one thing keeping her from a breakdown. also she's failing out of school. fig was on the verge of expulsion, she misses her girlfriend, she doesn't know who she is. and she finds her path back to herself with her music, her passion. adaine was poor and unable to complete school assignments because of expensive materials and struggled to find a job and hid the fact that she needed help from the people supporting her because she didn't want to look weak. fabian has faced incredible loneliness and abandonment from his family and friends, gilear and hallariel being gone and gorgug quitting bloodrush. he's worked so hard to be popular at school to try to bolster kristen's campaign but he's still so lonely. and don't even get me started on riz. he's running himself ragged taking on the stress of his friends to make sure they're all succeeding while not leaving a moment for himself. he's joined every extracurricular he's running between responsibilities, always working always nervous always frazzled. and he's still scared deep down of the inevitability of that school for solo adventurers.

and this all makes so much sense with it being junior year! at least in america, junior year is the time you buckle down, you focus on school, you work yourself to the bone, you have no free time, you're on the edge of losing your friends, you don't know what to do. and the downtime system illustrated that perfectly. what do you prioritize. when can you ever relax. the stress and the rage builds and builds. and they overcame that. so I hesitate to believe that junior year didn't have stakes. they just weren't the same stakes we were used to seeing in the other seasons. sure they dominated in combat but don't forget how hard they had to work in every other facet of their lives.

[neo-kid-funk]

So there was this girl that I used to work with that basically made me so anxious to come to work because she kept gossiping about me, it got so bad that I literally had to leave and start somewhere new,, just found out today that we're gonna be working together again next year and I am literally on the verge of a fucking nervous breakdown. She's the reason why I didn't try to make friends at my new place because she pretended to be my friend for so long but was saying horrible things about me behind my back, so now I just keep to myself and I dont talk about anythingthat has to do w my personal life. I seriously don't know what the fuck to do. I haven't felt like this in a long time and I literally feel myself disassociating.

[wannaeatramyeon]

HIII i just discovered u recently and i love ur writing and acc sm!!! i was wondering if u could do a scenario where in the taehun’s s/o thinks that taehun’s dad is hot (i mean he is the ult dilf esp in manager kim 😩😩😩😩)

Aww ty anon your kind words fuel me, legit cant believe yall like my bs! YES I WOULD LOVE TO AND I COMPLETELY AGREE, HE IS THE BEST DILF

Seong Taehoon x Reader: meeting the DILF

"Is your dad going to be home?"

"How should I know?"

You click your tongue at Taehoon in annoyance. Today is the first time going to his house, you haven't actually met his dad yet despite hanging out at the studio occasionally. This asshole, he could be more considerate of the situation.

"What do you mean you don't know? Meeting a parent is a big deal! Should I have bought a gift?"

Taehoon flicks your forehead in response, "Stop worrying you big nerd, my dad won't care."

You remain unmoved by his front door, arms folded, and a nervous expression adorns your face. In an attempt to pacify, Taehoon snakes his arms around your waist.

"Listen loser, he might not even be in so you're worrying for nothing," he places a kiss atop your head. "Besides, he thinks you're good for me."

It works.

As soon as you enter, you catch Taehoon's dad in the hallway and freeze.

"Hi, you must be Y/N. Taehoon's mentioned a lot about you!" Hansu Seong gives you a smile. You take in his Taekwondo dobok, showing his defined pecs.

Even underneath the loose fit, you could tell that this man is well musculed. You could make out the shape of powerful thighs, and his top straining against buff shoulders and biceps. His sleeves are rolled up revealing strong, vascular forearms. You gulp.

"I haven't said shit, old man," Taehoon's words snap you out of your ogling.

"Don't be so rude to your dad!" you give Taehoon a light slap on the arm before returning the greeting, "Hello Mr. Seong! I can see where Taehoon gets his good looks from!"

Huh. It's also interesting to see where Taehoon gets his fluster from too.

"Oh. Ahem, well thank you, Y/N." Hansu clears his throat, cheeks pink.

Taehoon quickly ushers you away, "We'll be in my room!" and leaves his poor dad still standing there, not quite processing the compliment.

Taehoon slams the door and turns to glare at you.

"What the fuck was that?"

"What?" you throw him a cheeky grin, "Your dad's a DILF!"

It takes a moment for him to realise what you said. You could literally see the cogs whirring and the split-second the understanding dawns on him. Taehoon looked like he was stuck between beating you up or cringing so hard he would die. You think you might have broken him.

"Well you should have told me your dad is hot! I could have prepared myself." You try to defend yourself, poorly.

"Are you kidding me?" Taehoon rubs at his temples, he feels either the world's worst headache coming on or he might be on the verge of a mental breakdown, "Don't think I won't kick you."

"It's a compliment! If that's what I've got to look forward to once you're his age..." you glance at him slyly, weighing up if a kick is worth what comes next-

"...You know. A proper daddy."

Taehoon throws himself on the bed, not wanting to be a part of this world anymore.

[harrywavycurly]

maybe husband!eddie comforting nervous reader before her exams at collage during the first semester? i have exams coming up tomorrow and it’s really stressing me out 😭🥲

Hiiii lovey!! I’m sending you alllllll the good vibes I have you’re gonna do great on your exams!! I hope you enjoy this conversation with Husband Eddie comforting you before an exam!💖

-find all things Husband Eddie here✨

“You’re gonna do great baby.” “You are just saying that because you’re my husband and I’d kick your ass if you said anything else.” “I mean…yeah you’d kick my ass but I’m not just saying that…you’ve studied and you know your shit so you’re going to do awesome.” “You really think so?…I’m really kinda freaking out honeybuns.” “Hey hey none of that…come on and cuddle with me…I lit those candles you like and everything.” “Not too close to the bed right? I can’t deal with the fire alarm going off tonight.” “It was one time sweetheart you’ve gotta learn to let shit go.” “Don’t be rude to me Edward James I’m on the verge of a breakdown.” “Oh right please forgive me…now come here and I’ll rub your back for you.” “You really think I’ll pass this exam?” “Yes I really think you’ll pass…you’ve been busting your ass studying and you’re smart…you’ve just got to relax a little bit and it’ll all be okay.” “Oh then let me head on over to Way-” “why do you say things like that while all cuddled up with me? That’s just rude baby…besides you know Wayne stresses you out…now just shush and let me work my magic.” “Did you just shush-” “yes I did shush you but with nothing but love now please…stop talking and just close your eyes…take a few deep breaths and relax…how’s that feel?” “Oh am I allowed to talk now?” “Baby…” “it feels good.” “Good…how are you feeling about your exam tomorrow?” “I feel…better.” “Are you gonna pass?” “Yes…I’m going to pass and…it’ll be fine.” “Exactly…oh and guess what?” “What?” “I love you..my super smart and cute wife.” “I love you too…my super annoying but good at giving massages husband.”

[spicyclover]

Injured

Summary: Lance got hurt but is desperate to compete in the Bahrain Grand Prix. You strongly disagree and see that he’s struggling to recover.

Hope you’ll enjoy this part. Let me know in the comments section! And to support me by tipping me!

Little information, I will, for now, only post on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.

Thank you, and Enjoy! :)

Lots of love, xxx Spicy Clover

“The year is starting well,” you think, slamming your apartment door. Despite his injury, Lance has decided to go for the grand prize, which severely handicaps him. You’ve spent a hell of a week between the hospital, the endless rehab sessions to get him over the edge so he can recover as soon as possible, and your crappy week at work. Got to say, arriving Sunday when he told you he was leaving for the grand prize, you got upset.

That’s why a big fight broke out, and he left the apartment with his suitcase and without a look, without a kiss, nothing. You can’t believe he will endanger his life or someone else’s to just drive a car. You like Formula One, but there are limits. He’s been unable to eat alone for a week. And now, he wants to race around a circuit for 57 laps. “Unbelievable!” Injuries do not heal in a day.

It pains you that he’s gone mad at you, and you're mad at him. Yet your ego is too strong for you to take the first step this time. You want to prove your point. His assistant wrote you when they arrived in Bahrain. 

You’re relieved to know he’s safe, but nipple as you are, you didn’t answer anything. Leaving a sight to his assistant, knowing full well that Lance asked him to do it. Still, he knows you won’t sleep unless he tells you he’s safe and on dry land. 

Wednesday arrives, and you are already exhausted. You no longer sleep, and your days at work are a nightmare. You’re in a terrible mood, with dark circles as big as the moon and eyes as red as a tomato.

You turn on the TV to watch the first days of media and see that Lance is just as tired as you. Tears are returning for the hundredth time today, and you can’t take it anymore. You begin to search for your favourite hoodie. It was one Lance offered you for your birthday with written in big “Mrs.Strulovitch.” Really cheesy, but you love it and wear it whenever you need comfort.

But you look everywhere, and it is nowhere to be found. You pick up your phone and click on Lance’s conversation to ask him where he is, but you hold back. You sigh loudly when you throw your cell out of your reach. You have only one desire, and it is that he speaks to you. Just a sign from him.

Thursday’s no better. You’re not even going to work because you don’t have the energy to do anything. You’re wondering how long Lance will last without talking to you, and you’re almost on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

You’ll only know how he’s doing through Aston Martin’s Instagram account. “It’s still serious that we got here.” You reload the page of your phone every thirty seconds hoping to get images of Lances that reach you. Free practices 1 and 2 have passed, and the car is at the front of the grid, which is incredible. Alonso does an exceptional job, but all you notice is that Lance has trouble with his hands. Being unable to hold his wheel correctly, in turn, is the worst.

At the end of his day, you finally decide to write to him. You ask him how he is and if his injury doesn’t hurt too much. You hesitate to tell him you miss him, but you do it anyway. After all, you’re taking the first step.

You’ve been waiting all day for an answer, but nothing. It’s Friday morning, and you pack up to join him in Bahrain. You take the first flight available. The whole flight, all you did was bite your fingernails at why he didn’t answer you and didn’t take the first step. “Does he still love me? Does he have anyone else?” This trip is torture. You only have one hurry to get here as soon as possible and clear things up with Lance.

You jump into a taxi and order him to take you to the circuit. You get the pass, which his assistant sent you the week before. You walk through the hospitals with determination, ignoring everyone who gets in your way. You trace to the green building.

You come in like a fury and head straight for Lance’s room. Nobody stops you, but they all know who you are. You open the door with a bang, but Lance is not there. You come back, look in the common air for a familiar face, and see his coach.

“Where is he?”

“Hello to you too, yes I’m fine and you?”

“I don’t have time for this,” you say, apologizing quickly.”Where is the idiot that happens to be my boyfriend?”

“He’s in the garage with the mechanics.” He sighed, taking a sip of his coffee. 

“Thank you.” You head out. 

“Y/n?” Yell his coach once again. You face him. “I don’t know what happened between you, but please, please, make him nicer.” 

You nod, and you go out. You get to the garage and see him in the distance. He talks to his team. All the anger you have accumulated since the beginning of the day fades away, and you look softer. You step towards him lightly.

You wait for him to finish talking and turn around so you can do the first thing that goes through your head. You slap him before kissing him in the mouth. All your frustration evaporates for real, and you slowly back away. Lance is shocked. Actually, you think he doesn’t even know it was you. 

He blinks several times, making big eyes.

“I hate being in a fight with you!”

“Y/n.”

“Like you didn’t even respond to my message last night! I was worried sick.”

“Y/n.”

“I know I was harsh on you, but you’re in pain, and I don’t want to see you like this.”

“Y/n.”

“I love you, okay? I don’t want my husband to injure himself more because of his stubbornness. I know I’m selfish when I ask you not to go, but something, Lance, you don’t always have to go.”

“Y/n.” He stroked your cheek softly. 

“I haven’t slept in five days. I just want to sleep, and I want to cuddle with you.” You take his hand and kiss his band-aid.

“Y/n. Y/n. Y/n.”

“What?”

“Stop talking, he says, kissing you with passion. “I love you, but sometimes you speak too much” He chuckles, taking you to his driver's room. “I’m sorry I didn’t respond to you, but I could use my hands yesterday. I know I’m hurt, but we have a great car this year, and I can’t not be here.”

You sigh but embrace him. You’re happy to finally be in his arms and that he’s okay-ish. You don’t want him to compete, but he’ll do it anyway. 

“I don’t want us to fight like this anymore.”

“Me too. I love you, Y/n.” 

[ask-shane]

Hi,Shane. You've been a little more irritable lately. Are you sure you're okay? I feel like you're on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Can I help you with something? Anyway, I hope everything's going to be okay, I'm worried about you, dude. *patted on the shoulder*

ya don’t need to worry so much about me, yulia. i promise i can take care of myself if something goes wrong.

it’s nice of you to check in on me... if i have been irritable lately, it’s more than likely because i’m sleepless. dealing with a fucked up sleep schedule when you work a 9-5 is the worst.

[harrysmimi]

CEOrry Pt.5

Synopsis: YN and Harry attend her friends wedding. A lot of things said and confessed

Ps. This is the last part.

Series Masterlist | More of my work

It was time for the twenty week prenatal check up and the ultra sound of course.

He was nervous. He haven't seen YN in about two weeks and half. He had to go back and forth Los Angeles and New York City for business last minute. But he had Jeremy drive YN to and from work, he has Lizzie check on her every other day or so. He didn't get to talk to her much.

Just to make sure she's doing alright.

The image of her in pain and misery is still hard to shake from his brain. He just wants to do everything possible to make sure YN isn't in any discomfort.

As new as it sounds. He cares for her. In more ways now. That is new.

She's sweet and caring. She is fiesty when she has to be, which is understandable. Being a woman is hard enough itself, though she's agree it's not an excuse for being an asshole to him.

He's seen her check up on her family as much as she could. Text her brother and dad as much as she could, especially when they're waiting for their turn at the doctors and she's got nothing better to do.

But today, it was something else.

She was going to see him at his place before they went to the doctors. He had an urgent meeting and he's been at office si ce last night, working overnight on this project with his team. He needed a nice hot shower and a change of clothes. And some food of course.

Just when he was coming downstairs, he heard YN's angry whispers from the patio. The door qas closed as she walked back and forth, bare foot, furiously yelling at someone over a phone call. He couldn't understand a word even though he could hear her clearly. She was saying something in her native language, except a few English words she used here and there.

"No, you listen to me you little bastard, you're going to give your phone to Papa at six every night. No going out, no drinking with friends, no seeing all these girls you see every other week." She was yelling at her brother she reckoned, "you're grounded until I see that degree of yours." She paused talking for a moment.

"Then I told you, do what you're interested in, you dumbo! I never forced you to study Business. I worked two jobs here just so you can go to the best college and study, I never expected this from you Veeraj! No! You're going to go take the re-exam, I want you to at least pass, my love! Then you can go ahead and do whatever you want. At least you'd try something."

Harry could see YN was on verged of breakdown. She looked so hurt and exhausted. Mentally exhausted. But she seemed to be calming herself there.

"That's okay! Everyone is not same, Vee, you gotta understand. I understand that. No one is really pressuring you to do anything you don't like. Rebelling is not going to be a answer to anything. I'm trying my best to help you out here. Just so you don't end up drowning in student loans. Now is really not the time for this. You've got to stop drinking, stop hanging out with friends who just take away from your energy. Set up boundaries for yourself. I'm not asking for you to grow up, I'm asking you to learn to take up your responsibilities. I'm going to be here to help every step of the way, whatever it is you want to do I'll find a way to support you, okay? Do you understand me?" She paused for a moment, "That's what I thought. Now I'll ask my friend to take you in for a few lessons. I want you to promise me that you'll do something to get yourself to be a better person, okay? Yeah. That's what I thought. Now go to sleep, and start fresh from tomorrow."

He found her very attractive. He kept staring up until after a few byes and I love yous YN hung up her call and sat down on the step of the patio, crying.

That's when Harry decided to step out and talk to her. "Hey, what's wrong?" He sat down next to her.

"It's nothing. I've been crying since last night." She said.

Lie!

He talked to her last night and she was laughing and joking, having the time of her life making fun of him over the voice call.

"That's not true, YN. You know you can talk to me, right?" He suggested.

"I know." She nodded, "it's just my little brother. He's got weird circle friends and drinking problems. I mean he's barely twenty. It's going since he was seventeen. It got worse when I moved here for my dissertation. Our dad can look after just so much, he's sick and his work took so much toll on him. He failed three of his classes last semester. Which is a lot given his last two year record. If he fails he's got to start all over again."

"It's all my fault. I never asked him what he wanted to study before I gave my own suggestions. I shouldn't have moved here." She mumbled as she sobbed.

"Hey, no, no!" He pulled her closer to his side with his arm around her back, "you try your best, don't you? And that's what matters."

"I don't know. He's like my own baby, I've been taking care of him since I was six. I can't see him doing things which are going to make his life miserable in long run. He's not like this." She finally chose to confide in Harry there.

She isn't a saint, she got drunk too. But that was the first time. That made her more guilty for yelling at her brother like that.

"We'll get him the help he needs, yeah?" He assured her, "you don't have to beat yourself up for something you can't have control over."

"You've done enough for me, Harry, I can't bother you more." She sniffled, "he'll get throught it, he's done it once when our dad found out."

"If you think so." He sighed, "did you had your lunch?"

"Mhmm." She nod her head, "I was hungry so I ate before I came here."

"Good." He smiled, "now do you want to come inside?"

"Just five minutes?" She asked, "and did you eat?"

"I'm going to do that now." He tried to hold back his stupid grin the best he could. She cares about him enough to check up on him even though she's an emotional mess in that moment.

"Okay."

......................................................................

Another hour of wait for the monthly check up (twenty four weeks). YN was already over it today. She'd call it a day off she didn't had to go run some errands after at the bank and pick up a few things from the post office and things like those. Julia was going with her, so she didn't had to take cabs and tube and such.

She was just sat there, slumped and dazed off. Not noticing that Harry had quietly slid his hand into hers on his lap. She didn't realise until she heard another couple comment something along the lines of 'they're so adorable' now maybe it was for something else, but it caught her attention. Warmth in her hand grew slowly closing towards her heart there.

YN had so much going on in her mind, especially in that moment when she could feel the baby move.

They started moving just a week before she went to appointment solo. She couldn't bring herself to share that with Harry. She can control not sharing that. Even though she knows she shouldn't.

She can't have a say in the baby's life but she can at least have a control over this. Of course he won't touch her without her permission, or she'll kick his ass. But he won't.

YN have picked up on the baby's pattern. They were active mostly when she's feeling tired. Not to mention, the heartburn. She just wishes they're not as hairy as she was a baby. Her mum used to tell her how she couldn't even lie down when she had her. She was five and she remembered, she was just lying on her mum's lap as she asked her stupid toddler questions, her mum would answer to her the best way her five hear old self could understand. But with her brother, she could lie down and eat because her brother was a bald baby. But adorable none the less. She missed her mum.

Also she didn't wanted to share too much, before the baby was taken away from her. Well, it isn't her technically. She never wanted to give up her own child, but she did so she wasn't parentless. That was to save ber dad, who's perfectly fine and healthy.

And even though they're on time, they still have to wait at least two and half to three hours for their turn. Which is annoying on many levels.

"Hey, you're tired?" She heard Harry whisper in her ear to which she nodded. "C'mere." He draped his arm behind her on the chair, "just relax, yeah? Everything is going to be fine, I'm here."

She wanted to punch him in the face, but she understood what he was trying to say. Everything is going to be fine, she's going to be fine. So she leaned to his side just to be hit by the fragrance of his cologne in the face. But it was comforting. Weirdly enough.

"We've still got an hour and half." His voice was nothing more than a whisper, "you can take a nap, I'll wake you up, yeah?"

"I'll try." She agreed.

She could really use a nap. But in her own bed. Under her fluffy blanket, and AC on blast. Not at her place here. Back home. She's got a huge bed with comfiest mattress and bedding, she missed it now more than anything. She can cry to go back home and hug her dad.

She tried to sit there as still as she could with a baby inside her having a rave party. She watched Harry check few of his emails, they were from a same person with lists of products for a baby and a nursery. She doesn't mean to peep, she wouldn't have looked into his phone if it were related to his business. But it's not.

Now Harry thought she was fast asleep when he checked his emails until he heard a few soft sniffles from her. He peeped down to find her crying. "Hey, why you crying, darling?"

"It's nothing." She shook her head, "I just don't feel well, that's all."

"Just a few more minutes, yeah? Then we'll ask Doctor Wilson if we can do something for it. Hmm?" He suggested.

"Yeah."

"It's okay." He hugged her close to his chest.

......................................................................

"Baby's got a lot of hair on their head." Dr. Wilson shared, "this sort of explains the heartburn." Harry looked back and forth between YN and the screen in front of them. "You can still feel the baby move?" To which YN nodded.

"You can?" He whispered looking at her with puppy eyes.

"Mhmm." She nodded.

"You want to know the sex of your baby, Mr. Styles?" Doctor Wilson asked.

Now that made YN's heart sink to her tummy. But was the truth. She signed up for this. Doctor Wilson was the one who have helped her with everything from day one. She knew everything about the IVF and her being the surrogate and everything. But she noticed Harry glance at her for last minute approval. She didn't know what to say.

"We'd like to wait, thank you." He smiled.

He said we.

The appointment went smooth as always, doctor Wilson gave YN some advices to help her heartburn. She then had a little bit of time with just YN because she wanted to ask her some questions, which given if both the parties were couple she wouldn't mind asking with the partner in the room.

Doctor Wilson is very thoughtful, especially when she knew YN had personally asked for a female doctor, and that YN was a bit uncomfortable with Harry in the room at the beginning of the screening to see if she can carry a fetus to full term in a healthy manner. But her one question only directed towards Harry had her puzzled with her emotions that day.

She should just really talk to Harry. Right? Or at least try? He'll understand, right?

......................................................................

She held off.

More so that more weeks went by, her health wasn't getting any better (the baby is very healthy) plus she's got a wedding to get through with. YN passed out three times in her bathroom, lucky she sustained no injury. She lied down on the floor carefully when she felt it coming. Her friends almost rushed her to the Emergency department the fourth time. But it was controllable. She went to see her doctor the very next day.

Harry wasn't in town again. He'd gone on another last minute call, this time it was for award ceremony for entrepreneurs and such. He was awarded with couple of awards there, it was just going to go to his every growing college in his office. YN had to go to her monthly checkup alone this time. And it was going to be only time she has to go alone.

But when he came back it was just time for Josh and Kayla's wedding. Harry was actually late, so Jeremy ended driving YN to the wedding venue two days before. He had no idea what went on.

It was the time when the bride and everyone was done getting ready, and they were taking pictures.

YN's dress was loose, she wasn't showing much even though the baby weighed half a pound more than it should be at twenty-one week. It was easier hide her belly.

Now she doesn't want to draw attention to her belly and take away from her best friend's special day. But she did snuck off to the bathroom in her own room next door to take a few of pictures on her phone, posed as where her belly is visible.

"YN you're being dramatic and extra. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it." She scolded herself as she looked through the pictures, just as she was about to delete those, she heard the bride calling for her.

"YN, your alright in there?" Kayla asked, "talk to me so I know you did not pass out in there, babe."

"Yeah, I'm fine." She called out. But not until she heard, the door knob being violently being shaken from the outside.

"Unlock the bloody door YN!" He banged on the door, "open rhe fucking door damn it!"

It was Harry knocking on the door, hard. She hoped he didn't bruise his knuckles when she quickly opened the door worried. "Why are you knocking so hard? Is your hand okay?"

"Why didn't you tell me?" He glared at her ignoring her concerning questions. There was a hint of worry behind his anger.

YN looked at her friend. She just threw her hands up in defence, "I didn't tell him anything. He over heard it." Kayla explained, "I'll give you two a moment." With that she fled the room. YN sighed and walked to the bed in her hotel room so she could put on her shoes.

"Why didn't you tell me YN?" He followed her.

"You were away for work. I didn't wanted to burden you with my problems." She answered and picked up her left shoe. She was going to wear her sneakers because she can't walk properly even when barefoot. She trips and falls, especially at weddings.

"I expect you to share things like with me, YN." He sighs in frustration and kneels down in front of her to help her with her shoes. "How many time have I told you that, hmm? This is ridiculous. You, you think that stupid award function is what I cared about more?" She didn't say anything. He just looked up at her when he was done putting her shoes on for her and found her looking at him with puppy eyes.

Honestly, she can fight with him right there. But it's her friend's special day she doesn't wanna ruin it.

"You wanna talk later?" He asked to which she nodded. "Yes or no?"

"Yes!" She huffed getting up and walking towards the bathroom where she left her phone.

"Hey, YN, I'm sorry. Shouldn't have talk to you like that." He tailed her around as she gathered her stuff. She grabbed a lipstick, and stuff it in the pocket of her dress.

"You tied my shoe lace too tight." She ignored him like he did not yell at her even five minutes ago. Without a question he knelt down again to retie her shoes for her.

For the rest of the ceremony, leading upto the reception party none of them talked to one another but yet managed to savour and enjoy every minute, for her friends at least.

First it was the dinner then the reception according the bride and groom's plans. It was emotional, funny and sarcastic with all of the speeches. And the drinking and dancing began again.

YN was getting overwhelmed already. Especially after her little speech. She could still see Harry there, he looked pissed. She went to get herself a glass of water by the bar.

"Hello there." Someone went to sit on the stool right next to hers. It was Doctor Micheal Jones.

"Hi..." YN was confused seeing him there.

"Been waiting to talk to ya whole night actually. How have you been?" He asked.

"I've been good, what about you?" Oh how she hated the small talk.

"I'm great." He smiled. She noticed he's got dimples too, a blond stubble and both his arms were covered in random tattoos, she could see from the rolled up sleeves.

Wait, has she got a type?

"You're from the bride or groom's side?" She asked him before he could say anything further.

"I am Heidi, Joshua's step sisters cousin." The blue eyed man explained.

"Oh, that sweet."

"And you're from bride's side I believe?" He asked.

"Oh no, I'm technically from both of their sides." She giggled, "they're both my best mates."

"YN, darling can I talk to you?" It was Harry interrupting Micheal before he could even utter a word. "Come on darling it's urgent please." He grabbed a gentle hold her hand as he helped her down the stool making sure to take her water bottle from the counter. He guided her out.

YN didn't get to take in the venue when the sun was up. But the wedding was at the Stourhead House and Gardens in the county of Wiltshire, near the Apollo Temple.

It's the exact place where Kiera Knightley's Pride and Prejudice was filmed. Kayla's a huge nerd for books, hence her PhD in English literature. YN never understood how that girl can read three to four hundred page book in a day to a day and half max. The venue was also something Kayla and Josh had little arguments over until they booked the place for the day.

"What?" YN slipped her hand out of Harry's, the metal of his rings was warm and cosy but she's mad at him for talking to her like that. They're out of the party now.

"Let's go there, it's a little loud here." He grabbed her hand again and walked towards the Apollo Temple which was barely fifteen feet away from the party. Which didn't make sense because it was still loud. They sat by the edge of the temple there. "You're feeling any better now?" He asked. Watching her lean into the pole next to her.

She looks tired and sleep deprived there. Her phone placed in between him and her with the lockscreen lit up, it was half part ten then and the the background was of the first ultrasound picture he sent her. It was the phone he gifted her, she's really using it. And the bracelet, she was wearing it. The piece of jewelry went so well with her baby blue dress, a stretchy bodice and off shoulder opaque sleeves ending just by her wrists. She wore a silver necklace with a little gold charm on it.

"Hey, come on, I'm really sorry darling." He scooted a bit closer to her, "why didn't you tell me, hmm?" He tucked the loose strand of hair behind her ear gently and she finally looked at him.

"I told you, I didn't wanted to tell you because you were away for work." She shared, "you said you have important meeting. I went to the appointment so I'm fine now."

"You also said, and I quote, I don't want to burden you with my problems, care to tell me what that means?" For the first time they're having a conversation without yelling at one another, "because I never said you're burden, did I now? I apologise if at any point I made you feel that way, I never intended to."

"You didn't, I, I, I just didn't wanted to disturb you that's all." She shook her head.

"I was done with my meeting on day one, should have told me YN." He insisted, his thumb caressing the apple on her cheek tenderly, "don't want it to happen again, but you'll tell me when it does, no matter how busy I am, yeah?"

"Yeah." She agreed.

"Have you been sleeping well?" He enquired.

"No, I can't lie down without feeling like my esophagus is burning." She shared. Truthfully. "Doctor said the baby's got way too many hair on their head. I'll give you the picture when we're back in Hampstead."

He cracked a smile, "about that..."

"What?"

"I, I actually forgot what I was about to ask you." He covered up for himself. He wanted to tell her that she can be in the babies life, he can get the agreement terminated and all. But it felt weird.

He knows she wants her own kids, that's why she was hesitant at first. But telling her now would sound wrong. He doesn't know if she wants to be a parent just yet. He'll tell her when he finds a better way to approach this subject.

He also so badly wanted to tell her how he felt. He really, really liked her. Hell and heavens he thought he's borderline already in love with her there. But he just held off. At least for now. It'll be too much for both of them. He actually really wanted her to be around the baby, he's seen how she always tries to look away from the screen at the ultrasound or talk less about the bahy with the doctor. How she asked for him to send pictures of the ultra sound print they got, and now it's her lockscreen.

"do you wanna go back inside?"

"Not really, I don't like weddings." She shrugged, "I told Kayla, 'if I got MIA for after a bit, don't worry'. Do you want to go in?"

He chuckled softly. "No, I don't like weddings either."

"Awh! Why?" She cooed, "sorry, I forgot no questions."

"You've asked me way too many questions, we're way past that." He pointed out.

"And I got no answers to those questions." She added immediately.

"Touché." He looked down sheepishly. "I found out my Fiancé and partner of six years was cheating on me, the morning of the wedding."

"No, that's so fucked up!" She gasped, "I don't get it why people cheat? Like what the hell?"

Harry giggled at her very honest and blunt reaction, "it's alright, I'm over it now." He shrugged. "It was the second time actually. Being cheated on. Wanted to adopt a kid at first but a single man with a busy schedule is not anyone's first choice. Tried for about three years."

"Understandable. I'm so sorry that happened to you."

"Why do you hate weddings?" He diverted the subject to her now.

"My reason is a bit more depressing." She said with her hand into a pinch to say how much more sas her reason is with a slight wink of her eye.

"I'm sure, but I'm here to listen."

"Trauma bonding, are we now?" She nodded her head squinting her eyes, "my mother died when I was six and my little brother was just two-three weeks old. Of course there was a wedding in our house so everyone was away except me, my dad and my mum with my brother, well 'cause she was sick."

"I'm sorry." He mumbled.

"It's fine, I've had twenty years to learn and grow." She shrugged.

"Do you mind me asking what happened?"

"She had a c-section with my brother and the internal stitches ripped open because she was throwing up and coughing so much. I was there when she, uhhh, you know... My dad was out getting us dinner when all of that happened." She moved back a little bit to sit comfortably with her legs criss cross, using the pole as a back rest, her hand resting on her bump as if on autopilot.

Harry just sat there looking at her as he processed all of what she said. She was six. Watched her mother die. That explains her fear of throwing up.

"Don't look at me like that, your green eyes scary." She laughed.

"I'm just trying to process." Harry shared, "What was her name? Your mum's name, I mean."

"Sofia." YN shared.

"That's a beautiful name." Harry cooed and took a moment to mirror how she sat. "Why don't you tell me about her?"

"You want me to talk about my Mummy?" She looked at him puzzled to which he just nodded, "well I've only known her for six years. But she was a doctor like me. A little crazier 'cause my dad told me once she was going for another doctorate. I never want to touch that ever again!"

"So you come from a family of a geniuses." He commented joining her laugh.

"You can say that. She had like three cats, only one of them is still alive. He's old man now. I brought him home on my way back from school he was about three months old, so he's technically my cat. My dad was furious, but who can go against mum's. I mean who's got that kind of audacity, right?"

"Exactly!" He agreed with his own dramatics, "Mum's are the best!"

"Not all of them, my step mother is a total witch. Witch not a bitch. Can't swear like that." She shared. "My mum was the principal of my school. And everyone loved her, obviously. As they all should. That's pretty much it. What else you want to know?"

"She sounds like an amazing person." Harry said. "I'm trying to figure out something though. I wasn't a hairy baby, nor my sister or my mother or dad. How is this baby so hairy? How did doctor Wilson even see that?"

YN looked at him in disbelief, "you failed your science classes by any chance?"

"Yeah, twice but what does that have to with--" he paused, "oh, oh. I'm sorry I didn't to say it like that. I also didn't want to assume. Just looking out for you that's all as you said you can't lie down and--"

"Okay, okay calm down." She stopped him, "it's okay, it's okay."

"Did she tell you what you can do to help with the heartburn?" He asked.

"Nope. Can just hope for the best." She shook her head.

"I'm sorry."

"It's alright. F.Y.I. sir, I was a very fussy baby as well. Good luck with that."

"You're joking?"

"Nope."

"You're joking!"

"I am not."

"Yes you are, you cheeky, you're laughing."

Now she was laughing, "you saw how much I still cry, right?"

He sighed, "yeah."

"We should go back in, they're about to play my favourite song." YN suggested. Harry was up on his feet immediately ready to help her up.

"Yeah? How do you know that?"

"I made the playlist, duh!"

They walked to the wedding party back. Or more like, Harry followed YN like a little smitten little kitten. Thinking Out Loud by Ed Sheeran started playing.

"Would you like to dance with me, ma'am?" Harry offered his hand with extra add on of his charm.

"I'd love to." YN placed her hand in his. Harry took the opportunity to lace his fingers through her in a delicate hold, and slid his other hand around her waist. The baby in between wasn't enough to keep a modest distance.

"This alright?" He whispered as he swayed both of them to the soft tune.

"Mhmm." She nodded.

"What is with you and that doctor?" He asked all of a sudden looking behind her.

"Who? Doctor Jones?" She asked.

"Mhmm."

"Nothing. He's just a nice dude. Why did you ask that?"

"He's been oogling at ya the whole day!" Harry scoffed.

"By the way this is my favourite song." YN tried to change the subject and it worked.

"Is that Ed Sheeran?"

"Yeah!"

"He's one of my best mates." He casually bragged.

"You're kidding?"

"Nope."

"You are kidding!" She gasped.

"I am not. I have his number."

"You have Ed Sheeran's number?" She sounded gobsmacked.

"Yeah."

"Oh my god! Can you get me his signed record?" And she gasped again at her own idea.

"He's on tour right now, but I'll try." He couldn't help but laugh at her reaction, he place her hand in his on his shoulder as he reached to tuck her hair behind her ear again. "You look very pretty tonight, have I told you that?"

"I don't know." She shrugged nonchalantly, but she's screaming inside.

YN tried her best to keep her feelings in check. Like, it's not right. Today though, she did took time to really just take all the feelings in.

Oh boy, did he looked extra, extra dreamy today!

His hair grown out a tiny bit. He now styled his hair in a middle part, his stubble ever so slightly showing. His eyes looked so vibrant and relax, like there were no worries about anything behind them.

And today is about celebrating love too!

He wore a baby blue suit, with his staple white dress shirt. Which is always see through and top three buttons undone. His classic cross necklace, he switched it out to a gold one few weeks ago. And the tattoos on his pecks peeking through as always, which she believed are some kind of birds surrounded by little hairs on his chest.

It was touch of his soft thumb just under her lip which brought her back on earth. His face was just so close to her. That's when someone screamed her name.

"Oh god!" She was spooked.

"It's alright, who is that?" Harry asked looking behind her. It was one of Kayla's childhood friend, Hadleigh.

"YN!" The girl exclaimed as she approached her.

Now, Hadleigh and YN hardly talk to one another. But when they first met, they were really good friends. Until Hadleigh went ahead and shot her shot, telling YN that she had started to like her.

Well, it isn't like YN's not into girls, but she's confused if she's in girls like that in the first place. But most importantly, she wasn't looking for a partner that time (nor is she now unless it's Harry). YN's always been so focused on her career, she never gave going out or being in a relationship a shot ever. It just haven't been her cup of tea to begin with.

Plus, she didn't want to be vulnerable and open to someone.

Hadleigh of course was very understanding and respected her feelings. She got busy with her job as real estate developer. And life went on.

"Hadleigh, so nice to see you!" YN exclaimed.

"Same here," the blue eyed girl smiled as she took YN in for a hug, "I know I missed the ceremony but gosh this is amazing!"

"It is." YN had to agree, the party was lit.

"Oh, you're pregnant!" Hadleigh almost squealed.

"I, uhhh..." YN stuttered, "yeah."

"Congratulations!" She gave YN another hug.

"Thank you." YN smiled not knowing what to say, "this is Harry by the way." YN turned to Harry was stood just half a step behind her. "And Harry, this is Hadleigh. Kayla's kindergarten friend."

"Oh, nice to meet you Hadleigh." Harry approached her with a handshake.

"Nice to meet you too, Harry." Hadleigh shook hands with him. "Oh, looks like the bride is finally free. I'm gonna go talk to her before she gets busy again."

"Yeah sure." YN nodded.

"You want to go back to the hotel?" Harry asked once Hadleigh was gone, YN looked exhausted.

"No, I'll just go sit somewhere." She shared.

"Come." He grabbed her hand and guided her to the now empty dining tables set to a side, he pulled a chair for her to sit facing the dance floor, he pulled a chair like he did at the ice cream place on her birthday that night. His knee touching hers.

"Is it really that obvious, I'm pregnant?" She asked, her hand on her swollen belly now really showing she is in fact very pregnant. But she's been feeling insecure lately. She had to run last minute to the tailor to get her dress readjusted, even though it was made keeping in mind she'd grow by the time of the wedding.

Well, she's almost in her third trimester (twenty eight weeks). It was obviously going to show. YN just doesn't want to admit that this time is going way too fast.

"What do you mean?" Harry asked, confused of her sudden change in mood.

"I-- she knew just by looking at me?" She wondered.

"She hugged you, darling." Harry defended her from herself, "I mean it's not a bad thing, is it?"

"No," she shook her head.

"Are they moving now?" He asked.

"Yeah, like crazy!" She sighed, "see!"

Harry carefully kept his hand where her's was, she placed hers on his. He felt a jolt which made him almost jump. "That was strong!" He commented laughing.

"Yeah." YN nodded.

It warmed her heart how he already adored the baby, they aren't even born yet.

And it also makes her heart sore thinking this is the only time she'll get with the baby. She's been contemplating to ask him if she could still see them from time to time. She would be fine if he never told them she's their mother. But it felt wrong.

After all he's just a complete stranger she met through a surrogacy agency website online, got pregnant via IVF, failed one time but worked the second, he paid her for carrying the baby. She's already grown to love the baby so much that it also felt wrong that she did it all for money at first.

She doesn't want him to think she's in with wrong intentions if she asks to see the baby in future.

Though, she's already paid one of the installments to the remaining amount he had lent her. He doesn't know about it, but his accountant and Personal Assistant does.

"You good?" Harry sounded concerned. That's when YN realised her eyes were getting watery as she thought about everything.

"Yeah. Just a little sleepy." She made an excuse, which he surprisingly belived.

"Do you really want to go back to the hotel, YN? You know we can." He suggested.

"No, I'm fine. I promise." She assured him.

They sat there in corner watching the party go on. Until Kayla came and approached YN herself, she was little tipsy but she pulled a chair next to her.

"You look tired." She spoke, "I think should really go and rest."

Harry jumped in too, "that's what I said."

"See, he agrees too." Kayla pointed out. "You need to rest!"

"I know, but I'm having fun just sitting here." YN shared. And she is indeed having fun there.

The party eventually came, newly weds were off to their honeymoon. This was all new to YN, as everything was over in merely three days.

Harry drove YN back to the hotel room. His was booked right next tk hers. They walked as it was just to the walking distance.

"This ended very quickly." She commented.

"Quickly?" Harry got confused.

"The wedding." YN shared, "it went on barely three days, it was just a bachelorette party, then going over some things the next day, then the wedding, this happened really quickly."

"That's a long time."

"No, it's not. Wedding functions usually last for weeks. Not that I like or enjoy any of those, but it was still significantly different experience." She explained.

"Yeah?" Harry sounded in amusement. They reached her room there, it was too quick for Harry's liking.

"Hmm, Indian wedding usually last for about two weeks to a month." YN shared as she opened up the door to her room.

"Have to attend an Indian wedding myself then, eh." He beamed, "I'm just next door to you, call me if you need anything, hmm?"

"I will, thank you." She nodded. "Wait... This is not my room." She checked the card key.

"Got you stuff moved here. It's a lot more comfortable." He explained.

"This is a freaking suite Harry, who's going to pay for it?!" She opened the door and was shocked to see the room.

It had light blocking curtains, a massive bed she doesn't have to now share with Julia. It had it's own sofa and coffee table by what she reckoned is a floor to ceiling glass window.

"I did." He said, "try to get some sleep now darling."

......................................................................

It was middle of the night and YN was craving chocolates.

Now, she can hold herself off till she can get something to eat which she is craving. It was a different kind of urge now. Especially when she couldn't eat the chocolate desserts as they had Rum in it. Kayla almost killed off the caterers for not having a Alcohol free dessert as she asked for specially for her best friend.

YN could go down to the hotel gift shop and buy a very expensive bar of chocolate but she just want to get out of her room. The bed is awfully comfy. And she couldn't sleep because every time she goes to lie down, her stomach acids want to gush out of esophagus. So she called Harry. Sent the man out to get her chocolates. And he did so. The gift shop was closed off he messaged her so he drove to a nearest shop to get her what she wanted. It looked like he bought the whole store when he got back with just more than just chocolates she asked for.

"Is this enough, darling?" He set everything on the little coffee table by the floor to ceiling window which was now closed off by light blocking curtains.

"That's too much Harry!" She walked upto him. "Just asked for a few chocolates."

"Well, I figured you might be hungry as you didn't eat much tonight." He pulled out a few bags of crisps, "usually don't condone eating junk food, but this is the best we can do at two in the morning."

"Thank you!" She cooed and hugged him tight.

Harry was taken back. Not by her hugging him but by the butterflies in his tummy. He hugged her back though. Her hugs are always warm and welcoming.

"Of course, my love." He rubbed her back gently, "why didn't you sleep?"

And she got to opening a bar of chocolate as she sat down on the sofa chair, right next to him. "I can't sleep. Everytime I try, my stomach acids want just gush out." She munched on the chocolate and yawned.

She really needs sleep, but she can't sleep sitting up. It's very dangerous. She might fall off her bed, or sleep in a position which might hurt the baby.

"Oh look," she grabbed a hold on his wrist and place it on her stomach for Harry to feel the punches. "And there goes the jab!"

"Ouch!" Harry almost felt that under his skin, "they're being a trouble maker, aren't they! Go to sleep now, will you little wrestler!"

"What the hell!" YN stopped feeling them move out of nowhere. "Did they just stopped moving?"

Harry chuckled, "they already listen to their Papa, don't they?" His thumb ran gentle strokes over the oversized shirt she wore.

"Yeah." She's in awe again. But took advantage and moved back to relax maybe take in a nap before long car ride back home the next day. Harry got up quickly and got the blanket from the bed.

"C'mere." He sat next to her again with his arm draped onto the back rest of the sofa. YN hesitantly leaned in resting her head on his shoulder as she tried to sleep.

......................................................................

Next morning was chaos.

YN was throwing up so their drive back was delayed. Julia was accompanying them as Harry offered. He saved her the hassle of taking a train back home. So it was now Julia and YN play arguing over some snacks they bought just before getting in the car.

Harry had a great time watching them bicker back and forth without offending one another. He'd act as if he's not paying attention when either of them tried to bring him in their pretend argument, not wanting to be the bad guy.

That was pretty much it for the day.

......................................................................

The very next day was when Harry resumed his duty of taking her to and from work.

He wants to make sure she's safe and sound himself. Sure he trust Jeremy with his own life. But he gets more time to spend with YN.

"Hi!" She greeted him with a warm smile on her in morning when he picked her up.

Harry took to this very lovely breakfast place, one because Lizzie is on a vacation, and two he can't cook to even save his life without burning down his kitchen. He's hungry and he knows she might have not eaten well either.

"I can't believe you out of all people are eating out today!" YN pointed out sipping on her smoothie.

"Lizzie is on a vacation." He shared.

"You didn't cook?" Harry just glanced at her sheepishly, "so you're going to eat out till she comes back?"

"I guess, or maybe I'll crash at my mum's."

She giggled, "come over tonight, I'll make you something to eat."

"You don't have to darling, you're already tired enough." He found her glaring at him, enough to be intimidating. "Alright!"

And that's what they did. Harry picked her up from work and they went straight to grocery shopping, because she didn't had much left at home and they went back to her place.

Julia was home, watching TV.

Harry had figured the blondie is fun to hang out with, she just hated him for reasons he doesn't know. Well, maybe for treating her best friend like crap that night at his bar.

"Hello mamas, how was your day?" She spoke looking behind, "oh look mister grumpy pants is here too!"

"Hello to you too, blondie." Harry waved at her.

"You're staying in tonight, J?" YN asked to which Julia nodded, "I'm making dinner."

"I was just going to order us Pizza!" Blondie gasped in excitement and followed the pair into the kitchen. Harry noticed a few boxes in the kitchen. Like someone was moving out.

"Who's moving out?" He asked.

"The newly weds." Julia shared as YN made a run to the loo. "They got their own place now."

"Awh!" Harry cooed. Both of them took out the ingredients from the bags mean while YN came back, in a civil manner. Civil manner from Julia mostly.

"Can I please have the kitchen to myself?" YN asked as she stepped back in the kitchen. She doesn't like the clutter in kitchen when she's cooking, and knowing her best friend, Blondie would definitely pick a fight with Harry.

"I'll leave." Julia saw herself out to continue watching whatever animal documentary she was watching.

"I'm staying to help." Harry announced as he rolled up sleeves of his white dress shirt. YN said nothing as she handed him an apron, knowing his short costs as much as a month worth of rent.

She started off by chopping onions and tomatoes. Harry's eyes almost started tearing up as he stood there waiting for her instructions to do something.

"Oh my god those onions!" He hissing covering his eyes and making YN laugh.

"Go sit out, I can do this." She told him.

"No, I'm fine. I'm fine." He sniffled. "What are we having though?"

"Okra, which is Bhindee, Roti, rice and Daal." She shared the menu with him.

"Never had that before." He sounded intrigued to try new food, "the most I've had is Biryani, Jeremy's wife made."

"You're missing out." She sighed dramatically.

"Really?"

"Really!"

"Guess we'll have to ask Lizzie to make new foods then." He announced. And he for sure is going to ask his cook to make some new foods.

Harry had a few things to share with her, but given her friend is in other room he figured he'll do that the next day.

Barely two and half months till baby is here, the appointments were now every other week instead of every month. He wanted to know when was she planning to put in her maternity leave.

He just wants her to be comfortable, standing for hours on hours teaching is very fucking tiring. And dealing with teenagers? That's whole new level of difficult in his opinion. Though the summer vacation have already begun, she still went to work.

The cat, Noodle just walked past his legs to YN and lingered around the kitchen as she cooked.

"Can you stir this a few times in between?" YN asked him.

"Yes!" He's been waiting for this, he took on the work. The dinner was done in no time. Even the cat was given it's dinner around the same time.

Harry had a quiet night watching a Dinasaur documentary. YN seemed very interested in that as they all sat on the floor with coffee table as their dining table.

......................................................................

The very next week. Kayla and Josh were back from their honeymoon as they got ready to move out.

Even Julia had found herself a place to move to so she can afford the rent. YN was going to live at Harry's place, as per the contract as she's nearing the due date.

Like promised, Harry took days off to help YN pack up her stuff. She just clothes and a few things to move, like her bed which she sold as she'd have nowhere to keep it. And that was it.

It was pretty emotional leaving the place she called home from past five years. She hoped she'd finally get to go see her dad this summer but maybe she can go during winter break.

Back at Harry's, she got the room she spent a night at once. The closet was empty for her to fill it up.

YN didn't know what was upstairs, maybe Harry didn't used that floor. His bedroom was downstairs, maybe the floor above had guest bedrooms. She remembered Lizzie saying it is a six bedroom house. There were few people working in the other spare room that day. Maybe he's getting the nursery ready.

That thought made YN's heart sink again.

She spent a couple of hours just putting her clothes away from the boxes. She didn't know she had that many clothes, and none of those fit her anyway now. So she placed all of the clothes which don't fit her and she doesn't want to wear in a separate box to donate.

She was just on her last box when Harry came in with tea and a few snacks. He knew she needed to take her vitamins and few other medications doctor have prescribed to her, she needed to eat something for that. They had a very early lunch.

"You want me to help you with those?" He asked as he placed the tray on the ottoman in the closet.

"I'm almost done. Those are for donation." YN explained.

"That's like half of your closet." He pointed out, she just sighed and continued to place last few closed in their shelves. "We'll go shopping tomorrow, yeah?"

"It's fine, I am fine with these for now." She gesture at the clothes she had.

It looked like the closet was empty. She never had a walk in closet before, it was very new to her. She had very limited space at her last place anyway.

"Come on now I got Chai and snacks. Made it just the way you showed me yesterday." He grabbed a gentle hold of her hand as he walked her out. "You want to make any modifications to this room? We should add a study table so you can work comfortably."

"I just have a week and half of work left, don't need a study table. But thank you." She tried her best to smile but all she could think about was the baby she will never see again.

"You alright?" Harry could sense she is in deep thoughts but he let her decide if she wants to share it.

"Yeah, I just need a nap." Maybe she can sleep and her worries would go away. Yeah, she can try that whilst the baby is not moving.

"Okay, but at least eat something, yeah?" He suggested, "I'll be just outside."

"Mhmm." She picked up the mug of chai. She is going to eat before she sleep though.

......................................................................

YN couldn't sleep. So she decided to take a warm shower, got everything ready but she got a call from her dad. She just sat there talking to him for a while.

She hadn't told her dad that the baby was her's too, and she wasn't just carrying it for a couple. Not that he would be mad, but she just wanted someone to share it with. Someone who she shared that close bond with.

They talked about her little brother's latest behaviours, how he's getting back on track and getting the help he needs. Her dad shared that he went upto him to talk about it. YN was relieved from that worry of her. Her dad also shared how her brother was interested in modeling and that he's gone to a few casting too and all that stuff. He also shared that the doctors gave him a pass that he can go work in person in a next few months given his very fast recovery.

YN was over the moon hearing that. That was the reason she took that very big decision.

She had a nice cry and stayed in her designated room all night, sulking in her bed.

At least she got some sleep.

Harry didn't bother her until the next morning when she had breakfast in her room. He went to check in on her and take her shopping like he said last night. He managed to convince her to with him. But that was it.

......................................................................

Harry had managed to get YN's input on the nursery, which was very slowly coming together. He didn't mind if it was finished before the baby is here, because they won't be sleeping alone for a long time. She helped him build the cot, the dresser and changing table after the room was painted.

It was all wholesome and animal themed, on her suggestion. The room was already filled with a load of sensory toys, stuffed animals and loads of story books. The half of the room was already being planned to be padded with crash pads and a pretty soft rug on top and a small play fence. Everything was baby proof in the entire house already.

He was working from home now so he could do rest of work himself. Of course he encouraged YN to help him because all she did was sulk in her room after she was done working. But now she's not working. Her summer break as teacher had begun and she'd miss the next semester due to her maternity leave.

Just two weeks and half to the due date. It was rhe thirty-ninth week, almost fortieth.

"I don't know mum." YN overhead Harry talking to his mother about something. He was on his laptop looking for something, "yup that's great idea, I'll ask the doctor." She reckoned it must be about the baby so she waddled carefully towards him.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

"I don't know which diapers to get. What if little bean has sensitive skin?" He whined in concern.

YN tried to hold back her laugh but failed, "get the reusable cotton ones. But yeah, you'll have to wash like a fifty of them at least twice a day."

"Is that really a good choice then?" He asked, now intrigued.

"Hmm." YN nodded. "I've usually seen grandma's making cloth diapers from used cotton clothes for babies. It's not harsh on their skin. I looked after my brother when he was a baby and my dad and grandma prohibited the use of single use diapers, unless we were going out or something. I've heard from a few friends back home that now you can buy those online too."

"Yeah?" He was impressed, "how many do you think will the baby need?"

"The more the merrier." She shrugged and started waddling back in kitchen.

There was a lot of left over noodles left in the fridge from lunch, which Lizzie left because she had leave early due to some emergencies. Or that all would go to the homeless in the community. The lady hated seeing the food go to waste.

Harry followed after her. He found her new waddle adorable. "You having dinner?"

"Yeah, you want me to heat up some for you too?" She asked as she took out the container.

"Yeah," he nodded, "do you want to watch a movie or something?" To which she surprisingly agreed.

He's been worried about her lately spending all her days in her room. Making up excuses so she can be in her room. They ate and sat watching The Witcher together on the sofa.

Harry had her tucked closer to him with his hand on the bump. Both were getting comfortable with one another. It was getting harder and harder for Harry to find a way fast enough to confess his feelings for her. He doesn't want it to be too late, but he barely knows how to. With a baby in mix.

He is in a complicated situation.

So is YN. She's grown comfortable around him. It's difficult when he's got to go for in person meeting last minute. She's gotten used to his antiques and how he bugs her every other hour to eat something or just do something with him. He's also managed to get her out for a nice walk, luring her with promises of ice cream. Which worked all the time.

She knows she's way past her infatuation, crush, and like phases with him. She's halfway sure she's in love with him. It was new.

She's only been with one person before but it only lasted for barely three months. She's been through the first few stages, but not this.

And there is a baby in the mix. Everything is happening backwards or out of order to confuse her even more.

But she's sleepy because has stopped moving for a few minutes now, or at least they've stopped kicking and punching her insides. She's learned to. She snuggled closer to Harry as her eyelids got heavier and heavier, until she was fast asleep.

......................................................................

It was the forty-first week. Harry and YN were out on a walk to go get ice cream. He had just gotten home from his last minute meeting. Lizzie so nicely offered to stay with her until he's back home. He hadn't even got to change as he directly to serving YN the dinner before he took her out to ice cream place.

They met his elderly neighbours who thought that he's got a wife now, they congratulated the couple as they walked past after a few minutes of talking. It was awkward, but made YN feel silly and giddy inside.

Turned out they know Harry very well, but the elderly couple seemed to be in hurry before either them could say anything. The walk to and from ice cream shop was slightly awkward. But they had to hurry back as YN was felt a sharp contraction.

Highly likely, it wasn't a Braxton Hicks thing, given the baby could arrive anytime.

YN wanted to be back in comfort of her bed in case anything happens. And Harry said he wanted to talk about something to her, maybe share something.

Maybe it was about how she'll have to leave the baby now. Maybe there were a few legal obligations. She had so many maybe's running through her mind in that moment. And Harry forgot about it in worries of what was happening.

Her contractions kept getting closer and closer rapidly every hour and half. It wasn't until her water broke. She was in bathroom luckily.

YN started panicking inside. She's not the one to scream when in pain, but she is wincing. It felt like her period cramps were on some heavy drugs and steroids.

"Hey, hey look at me." Harry tried to get her attention, "breathe with me, darling, it's okay." He did the rapid breathing exercises with her a few times before he got to getting the hospital bag. Even stuffed a spare outfit managed to get in the bag.

The drive to the car was painful and slow. There was no traffic given it was four in the morning. Harry had to drive carefully. He just hated seeing her cry in pain like that, getting flashbacks. This time the baby is healthy, YN is healthy. He parked closee to the entrance.

"Help me out please." YN mumbled.

"Yeah, yeah," Harry hurried out, but another contraction hit her. "It's okay, breathe baby." He held her hand tightly.

"It hurts, it hurts so bad!" She is crying, tears falling down her cheeks and all.

"It is going to hurt more if you keep holding your breath, darling." He rubbed his hand on her back.

She sighed, "I'm good, I'm good." Announcing she carefully stepped out of the car.

Harry followed her behind closely because she said she can walk just fine. Or waddle just fine enough. They were just halfway through the maternity department when another contraction hit her.

She stopped mumbling, grabbing onto Harry for support.

YN knew she can't handle this pain, she can only imagine how it would be pushing a heavy ass baby out through her vagina. It was going to hurt even more. A lot more. She can't do that now. Can she back off?

"We're so close love, you think you can walk?" Harry asked.

"Yes." She nodded and walked to the reception where they were checked in.

YN was asked to change into a hospital gown immediately and checked on. She was dilating on a good pace, and she was advised to move around to speed up the process even faster. She paced back and forth in the room but her pain was getting worse every passing contraction.

"You, you want to call your family and tell them?" YN suggested as she sped walked up and down in the labour and delivery room.

"I will do that later, YN," he shared, "you can ask for the epidural, you know?"

"I know, I know, just not now." She sniffled on her tears, but she broke down crying sat on the edge of hospital bed.

"Hey, c'mere." He hugged her, "everything is going just fine."

"I don't know, I don't know if I can do this." She sobbed, "I want to have a C-section. I can't do this."

"It's more risky, darling." Harry was surprised, "you can do this."

"Just talk to the doctor for me, please--" another contraction hit her right in the crotch.

And Harry did. After all it's her body, she can decide whatever. Given she's in agony and her decisions might not be right. He wouldn't invalidate her feelings like that. But Doctor Wilson adviced against her idea, unless there is an emergency, because honestly it had more risks to her. That made her real upset.

"Hey, you know there are cons to it." Harry cooed as he sat next to her, "the recovery time is longer, it's more painful, there are more chances of hemorrhage. I know you can do it."

"I don't care, I just want them to healthy."

"They're healthy, love, look you can see and hear their heartbeats there." He pointed at the heart monitor which was keeping track of the baby's heartbeat.

It was half past six in the morning, when YN finally gave in and asked for an epidural at eight centimetres dilation. Harry was asked to step out just so the room is clear and the procedure is done without any interruptions. It took them a whole hour to call him back in. Meanwhile he called his mother and asked her to come over if she could, he honestly didn't know what he could do. YN was in so much pain and it was getting just as hard on him to watch. He cried on the phone call with his mum.

But just a few minutes later YN seemed less stressed. "How are you feeling now?"

"Can't feel much waist down." She chuckled slightly, "this is why I waited so long to get the epidural."

"At the pain is less now, right?"

"Mhmm."

"You want anything?" He sniffled.

"You were crying?" She realised, "no, why are you crying Harry, the baby is fine."

"I know, I know." He nodded, "I'll get you more ice chips, yeah, just five minutes?"

"Okay."

Harry so badly wanted to tell her that he cares about her as well there. He is crying of two reasons, the baby is going to be here today and he just can't see her suffer like that. His mum was there by that time. She brought him coffee and said Gemma was on the way with breakfast for everyone.

Harry just couldn't bring himself to eat until way after the baby is here. But it was nice of his sister. His mum went out to get more bottles of water whilst he brought the ice chips to YN. He noticed the contraction were way harder than he last checked but she wasn't hissing in pain like before rather she lied there with her eyes closed.

"Hey YN, you want anything?" He asked again handing her cup.

"No, I'm fine. Thank you for this." She smiled.

"Those are higher than the last time I checked." He looked at the monitor again.

"It's feels like period cramps now." She shared, "it's bearable."

"That great!" He flashed his dimply smile finally. "Now, I, I-- to be honest I don't know what to do or say, so I just asked my mum to come over. She can be a great help, I, I can just call her in if you need to talk to her about anything which she can help with."

"No, you didn't had to bother her. I'm fine." A crease formed between her brows, a look of worry. He should asked his family to come visit after the baby was here, especially his mother. She bet the lady has more important work to do than be there to help her.

"It's alright, love." It was his mother. Pretty evident as Harry looks like a copy of her. "You're not a bother." She placed the water bottles on the side table. "I'm Anne, Harry's mum."

"Hello, I'm YN," she greeted her with a smile, "I feel bad now."

"It's okay, you can tell me what you need. I had two kids of my own, so I bet I can be pretty good help." Anne smiled.

She waited around the back as nurse checked on YN twice already. Harry sat next to her on the edge of her bed. His mum of course knew everything, he told her before he even told YN about it. In hope she might have a way to help him. She tried but he is just too anxious for that.

"What are you going name them?" She asked.

"Have a few names picked out, you want to help me?" He pulled out his phone and opened his notes app before she could say anything. "Let me know if you have any suggestions too." He handed her his phone. He had a list of ten names each for boy and girl and some just neutral names.

"You sure you want me to have a look?"

"Of course!" He shrugged.

Another good few hours went by, YN was starting to feel more pain but it was not something crazy. She was finally given a green flag for pushing. It wasn't as painful as she thought it would be due to the epidural she got, though she's sure it's gonna kick once it wears off. She didn't know how long she has been pushing for or now many were needed, all she thought about the baby's health. A nurse placed a clean towel over her chest.

YN panicked as the baby didn't started crying immediately, but they did once their back was rubbed. It was a loud high pitched scream cry.

"It's a girl!" Doctor Wilson announced as she placed the girl on her chest and YN stopped breathing in that moment.

That shouldn't have happened. They should have taken the baby away immediately. Now she was holding onto her, she doesn't want to let go. She started sobbing too.

"She does have a lot of hair." Harry commented, that's when YN realised she wasn't alone in the room with the new baby girl, her crying had gotten down to just few whimpers.

"Yeah!" YN cooed.

"Alright, YN a few more pushes for the afterbirth." Doctor Wilson caught her attention and someone was picking up the girl off her chest.

"No, no don't take her please." YN panicked, "please!"

"Can we please hold her longer?" Harry asked the nurse who of course agreed to it. YN held onto the girl the entire time until the pediatrician said they really have to weigh and check on the baby.

Harry stayed by her side as his mum was there whilst they checked the baby girl. YN looked at him confused. "You want some water?" He fetched her the bottle of water, "you did so amazing, she's here. It's a girl!"

"Like you wanted." YN nodded.

......................................................................

YN was all changed up into a clean hospital gown. She was given a very hearty meal.

The baby girl weighed nine pounds and eight ounces, no wonder why YN couldn't walk by the very end. She's definitely got a lot of hair on her head.

YN wasn't asked to feed her, hell, she haven't even got to see her again even though they're in the same room. She have been bleeding very bad so her stay at the hospital will be by the next evening. It was way past afternoon now. Harry has been going back and forth between her and the baby girl. She had asked him to talk to the pediatrician saying she's fine there as the nurse checked on her.

She doesn't even know what's her name is going to be.

"Ms. YLN, do you have family or friends we can call up for your discharge next day?" A nurse asked YN, everyone knows it's just a surrogacy case. By the talk of nurse, looked like Harry could take the baby home by tonight or even by early evening.

"Yeah, I, I'll call my friend." She nodded. The lady then proceeded to ask her questions on her pain levels, how she was feeling.

"Alright, we'll move you to the recovery room but you are advised to walk around every hour or so, for as much as you physically can." The nurse explained, "please don't push yourself to do more than you can."

"I will." YN nodded again. She tried to get off her bed and go find her phone in the mess which was the sofa chair now. It was painful, every step but she has to move around anyway, it wasn't certainly her first time out of bed after giving birth. She can say it was teeny bit less pain. She found her phone to text Julia to come over toni to the hospital. "Hello."

"Hey sexy, what's up?" Julia spoke.

"Just had the baby few hours ago." YN shared, talking as low as she could, "can I please ask you for a favour?"

"Sure, what's up?"

"I want you to come pick me up tomorrow, they want to keep me here overnight so I don't bleed out." YN shared, "and uhhhh... I'll also be needing help to get, ummm... my clothes and stuff the next morning. I, I promise I'll be out as soon as I find a flat."

"Are you kidding me?" Is the first thing Julia yelled, "isn't Harry going to be taking care of the afterbirth thing too?"

"I don't know. I forgot. I'm just feeling so alone right now. I don't want to bother him, he's with the baby and his mum." YN was trying hard not to cry. "Please come and see me?"

"I, I will as soon as I get off work, yeah?" Julia now sounded worried, "I'll ask if I can clock out early."

"Thank you!"

"Don't mention it, I'll be there. I promise!"

"Okay." She hung up the call.

"Hey, what are you doing out of bed love?" She heard Harry, "you feeling better now?"

"Yeah." She sounded walking back to the bed, "nurse said I'll be moved to the recovery room. They want to keep here for the night."

"No, what's wrong?" He followed her, baby in his arms. YN watched Anne leave whilst on a phone call, "what did they say?"

"It's nothing, I, I am bleeding too much." She shared, "I, I should probably go to the bathroom now."

"You want me to call the nurse?"

"No, I'll be fine." YN walked to the loo as fast as she could. When she came out the baby was crying and whining. The nurses were in and out of the room since they got there, she is already overwhelmed enough.

"Do you know how to swaddle her?" Harry sounded terrified, "changed her nappy, I don't know what's going on!"

"Let me see." She went ahead and put the new baby in a warm cosy swaddle.

"That's incredible!" Harry gasped, "look at her, all cosy now."

"Yeah." Baby girl is still whining. She's defin hungry. "Did she eat anything?"

"No, I wanted to ask if, if you wanted to breastfeed her. Only if you're fine." Harry shared, "the nurse is gone to bring the formula just incase."

"You'd be fine with that?"

"You sound surprised. Of course I'd be fine with that." He doesn't know what is going on. "I mean it's your choice at the end."

"I, I know--" before she could say anything further the nurse was back. But she rather ended up showing YN now to feed the baby.

That made her feel like dying now as she watched the baby nurse from her breast. She's in an awful state in that moment. But the baby had a full tummy, was burped and lied on her cot. It's exhausting being born, isn't it!

"Hey, what is going on YN?" Harry asked, finally.

"Nothing, I told you."

"It's not nothing. You're spacing out, come on talk to me darling." He cooed as he sat on the edge of her bed, "what did you mean they're going to move you to the recovery room? I don't know what is going on."

"You're not going home with her?"

"Not without you, no." He seemed more confused, "I'm more confused, YN."

"The nurse told me to call family or friends so they can take me home the next day." She shared, "I, I guess you can take her home in a few hours."

"You're coming home. Can't leave you like this here." He is now getting mad, "I told you I'm going to take care of you after the baby is here as well, didn't I? Not going to leave you alone. Little bean needs you, I need you."

"Why did she said it like that then?" She looked at him with eyes pooled up with tears.

"I'll talk to them," he assured her, "I know why she said it like that. I promise you I'm not going to leave you here. Why didn't you tell me before, hmm?"

"You were with you mother and baby, didn't wanted to bother you."

"I'm sorry you felt that way, but you're never a bother. Especially to me." He pushed her baby hair out of her face, "we'll go to the recovery room, have something to tell you."

"Okay." YN nodded, "I, I need to tell Julia, I, I called as I panicked. I'm sorry."

"It's alright." He assured her again, "you can ask your friends to come see her when we're out of here so it's more comfortable."

Harry made sure to make it clear that the baby and the mother are going to stay until she is discharged too, and that she is to be treated kindly there. He's seen a few nurses there being mean to her. Just because they knew little bean is related to her too and she was just giving away her child like that. Those nurses had a shift change anyway.

Gemma came over to see the baby too, she came with warm and healthy lunch. It was from a restaurant as she burnt the lasagna she was making on accident, hence why Anne hurried out. Least to say Gemma cried holding little bean.

"Is that hair underneath the hat?" She slightly pushed the hat back to check, "oh my god, yeah!"

"Yeah, got that from her mum." Harry bragged, YN almost choked on the water she was drinking hearing him say that.

Both of the ladies stayed till the last visiting hours. Finally there was quietness. Little bean had yet another meal, and is now laying on YN's shoulder. She's also been already holding up her head, and opening her eyes. She got those from Harry. Her fluffy cheeks had the slightest of the dimples.

It was a Styles trademark now, the dimples.

"When we get back," Harry spoke catching YN's attention, "I wanted to ask you a few things, make sure you're fine with them."

"Mhmm."

"I don't quite know how to help, this is obviously new. So I looked into it, found out about the Doula, they come in and help with the postpartum period, help take care of the baby. It'll be healthy for you and her." He tried his best to explain it in a best way possible, "I, I also know it's a huge part of the culture where you're from. We can or not go with the confinement thing, however you prefer it. So if you're fine with that, or we can figure it out as we go."

"No, no, I'd really like that." YN agreed, "frankly I don't know what to do either, I'm more tired now."

"We can stay in our little bubble until you recover and she's a bit older then, yeah?" He suggested, "and also, I've been wanting to ask you this for a while."

"Hmm, what?"

"I, I know you did not sign up for this. Was thinking of terminating the agreement you signed." He was holding onto his breath tightly, readying himself for her reaction, "I, I think she'd be more happier to have her second parent around."

"Really?" She's now crying again. The baby can call her Mumma now.

"Mhmm, I've already told my lawyer to get on it." He explained and a few more things, "we'll just have to sign the discharge papers and her birth certificate tomorrow before we take her home."

It warmed his heart to see how much little bean is loved already. The first time he got to hold her, all of the air was sucked out of his lungs. So tiny, and she felt warm against him, just how she moved her head to find a comfortable position to sleep on in his arms, hopefully feeling safe and sound.

It was a rainbows and unicorns moment for him. He thought he wouldn't be able to feel that connection with her, though she's a whole new person. He needs time to get to know her. It was all unexplainable.

It made him furious seeing how she's been treated by some of the nurses today, but it all sorted now. He dropped a quick message to his assistant to get the Doula on board. He found someone just perfect. It was an Indian lady around his mum's age with decades and decades worth of experience. It would also make YN feel at home.

Even though he stayed away from making his own conclusions, he could tell YN was slipping away in her thoughts with the baby. He's seen how bonded she already was and he'd hear her randomly talking to bump, or taking pictures in the mirrors around the house. Her initial decision of declining his offer has always been enough to remind him. She held back on so many of her opinions.

He wanted to hear them all. He figured it would be very unfair for both baby girl and YN to be away from one another.

"Is it going to be me visiting her every weekend? Or how, how do you want it to go?" YN asked.

"About that..." Harry shuffled in his seat, which has been the same since they got to the hospital, right on the edge of her bed. "Can I hold your hand for this?" And he grabbed a hold of her hand which didn't had a IV needle in it. "Don't want you slapping me across the face."

"I would never!" She gasped making him chuckle sheepishly.

"Just kidding." He took in a deep breath. "I want to make that everyday. I'm going to be so bad at this, at least for a while. But I've grown fond of you. So, so, so fond of you, couldn't realise when I fell in love with you. I want to be with you if you want that. Things are not planned but they can be figured on the way. We can do this together." He doesn't even want to think about her rejecting him.

"Wait," a blank look on her face made him more and more anxious. She's just processing he reckoned. "You're saying you like me?"

"Yeah..." He tried to process her question too, "well, it's more than that actually."

"You like me?" She asked again, emphasising the first and last word of her question.

"Let's switch that like for love, then yes. Most definitely, yes!" He said, little firmly. She just looked so flabbergasted.

"So you don't like me?" She spoke overwhelmed of everything in that moment, "wait, what? My brain just... What?" That made Harry giggle.

"Is it that hard to believe I'd ever say that?" He asked.

"Never imagined you'd say that, to me." She scoffed in disbelief, she still doubts he might be pranking her.

"And why would you say that?"

"I don't know," she sighed almost on the edge of crying, "I've been nothing but mean to you all this time, even though I didn't mean to. I'm sorry I don't mean to cry either, I don't know what is going on!" And the water works started.

"Awh, darling it's alright!" Harry cooed and immediately pulled her in a hug, he recieved one right back, "today have been so overwhelming for you, I know that but couldn't wait till tomorrow. We have to sign up the paper work and I reckoned it would be bad idea to put you in spot on the last moment, in case you have changed your mind about anything."

"No, I, I will not." She shook her head now sniffling. "Did you really mean what you said?"

"Every single word." He placed a feathery kiss on top of her head. He would be contained if she doesn't feel the same way, he at least tried.  "I love you. More than a friend, more than just being mum of our new girl."

YN squeezed him tighter. Would be too awkward to tell him she loves him too? Why would it be awkward? She would sound stupid, wouldn't she?

"I love you." She mumbled.

"I love you!" He chuckled softly squeezing her right back.

"Oh, my back hurts." She shared pulling away from their hug. Her back really did hurt, every bone in her body hurt in that moment.

"Oops, sorry," he helped her with the pillows behind her back.

The baby girl softly sighing in her sleep right next to YN's hospital bed caught his attention. Her small mouth curled up in a O as she let out a long breath.

"It's tiring being born, isn't it?" Harry pulled the cot closer so he can place a kiss on his baby's head. She squirmed raising her swaddled legs kicking him right in the face, earning a gasp from him. "Oh, now I know how your Mummy felt."

"Hey she's just a baby!" He heard YN from behind.

"Yeah you two are going to team up against me." He surrendered in defeat already. "Just want to hold her for hours."

"She'll get used to it and won't let you sleep." YN shared. He agrees. She needs space to grow, he can be smothering all the time.

"A little smothering can be excused." He shrugged giving his full attention to her now. "This is going all backwards, isn't it?" He moved closer, holding her hand close to his heart after he placed a kiss on her knuckles.

"Doesn't matter though."

"No it doesn't." He smiled at her. "It's nearly dinner time, the Doula will be here anytime now."

"You already called her?" She looked rather shocked, "whem did you do that?"

"Texted my PA, and I got a text from her when you were feeding Bean, firmly warning me from giving you anything other than water." He shared.

"She's going to be the ultimate mama bear." YN giggled.

She's seen her Nani, her mum's mum looking after her daughters and her grand daughters during their postpartum confinement. It seems to be brutal that she has to give up icecream for the next six weeks, and burgers, and pizza, and every one of her favourite junk food, nothing but warm healthy food she'll be eating. It's going to be tough, but she signed up for it when she agreed.

Of course it isn't her Nani so it's going to be different she reckoned.

"Are we going to keep calling her Bean?" She asked.

"Not quite settled on any names you picked out." He said, "which one do you like the most? You chose, Starla, Evara and Juniper."

"I don't know." She shrugged.

"Come on, help me out here." He affirmed, "you know we're in this together."

"Okay, how about you pick from Juniper or Starla?" She shortened the list for him.

"Hmm, lets see." He looked at the baby for a second and back to YN. "Looks like she's meant to be named..." She looked at him eagerly, so hoping he'd pick her favourite name, "...Juniper?"

"Yeah!" She exclaimed, beaming at him now. "Is she going to have a middle name? It's a thing here right?"

"Don't you have a middle name?"

"I don't. We use our dads, or most recently either one of our parents name on the legal documents and stuff, otherwise no middle name." She explained.

"Shes definitely going to have a middle name." He nodded, "I have it picked out already."

"You do?"

"Mhmm, it's going to be a surprise for you till the morning." He leaned in closer, hoping he could steal a kiss finally.

"Okay--" before she could say anything there was a knock on the door. It was the Doula.

"Hello, I'm Mrs. Nimrit Singh." The lady introduced herself. Right off the bat, she had a very homely vibe to her, "I am the doula you contacted."

"Oh yes, I am Harry." Harry introduce himself, "and this is YN."

"Hello beta." She greeted YN with a bright smile and a warm hug.

"Hello," YN smiled back, all of a sudden feeling her anxiety and stress about how she'd deal with everything related to her postpartum. "This is Juniper."

"She's absolutely precious!" Mrs. Singh awed at the chubby baby sleeping in her cot.

"She is." Harry agreed.

"I brought you two dinner." She said, "and I also be wanting to know when you two will be going home so I can prepare accordingly."

"Doctor Wilson said we'll be discharged by tomorrow evening." YN shared and few more things Mrs. Singh asked for.

"Okay then, I'll bring breakfast in the morning." Mrs. Singh announced, "and Harry I want you to make sure she gets enough sleep and she doesn't drink or eat anything cold, it's not healthy for her or the baby."

"I will do that." Harry nodded, "no ice cream for you then Missy."

"No!" YN whined.

"Just six weeks and you can eat whatever you want." Mrs. Singh assured her, it melted YN's heart.

"Okay." She made a puppy face.

They all ate dinner together, getting to know one another as they'll be spending next month and half to two months together. Mrs. Singh is a very lovely lady, calm and bubbly at the same time. She stood shorter, graying hair at her hairline, pretty gray eyes held so much motherly love behind them. She also wanted to in and check herself jf the house was ready enough for the baby and the mother, ready a warm bath and stuff. It was all new to Harry but YN seemed to know what she was talking about there.

Mrs. Singh bonded well with YN and Harry. Apparently fathers go through a lot too during the postpartum, so she had asked him to tell her anything which is bothering him like she's his mother.

"Mrs. Singh, our house keeper and chef Lizzie will be there by five-thirty to six tomorrow if you needed anything." Harry shared as the lady was getting ready to leave for the night. "I'll let the guard know you'll be there."

"Thank you." She smiled again. She stayed for well over three hours before she left.

"She reminded me of my Mumma." YN shared, "she talks like her. She's even got gray eyes like my Mumma."

"Yeah? That's nice, isn't it?" Harey went and sat back on his place next to her, "I quite like her too, love her jokes."

YN moved to a side to make space for him, she patted the pillow, "come on."

"You sure?"

"Mhmm." And he got in, as he pulled her closer with his arm around her shoulder.

"You know this is probably the best day of my life." He shared.

"Is it?"

"Hmm." He sounded in agreement, "just took me too long to tell you how I feel. You've been anxious all day today."

"It's nothing, I forgot about it."

"Hope you at least could experience this to the fullest." He looked down to find him already looking at him, "you know the birth and all."

"Well, it was too enjoyable getting ripped open down there, but once doctor Wilson placed her on my chest it was everything!" And she'd give everything to experience that moment over and over again.

"Felt the same way when I held her for the first time." He shared too, "she was still whimpering, but calmed down as soon as I held her."

"You're her favourite."

"Oh come on, don't be jealous." He rolled his eyes jokingly.

"Don't roll your eyes at me." She scoffed.

"Bean's mummy is my favourite too." He gave her a cheeky smile making her blush, she hugged him tight in response. "Hey, look at me please?"

"Yes?" She raised her head yet again to look at him action nonchalant, that earned a laugh from him.

"Promise me we'll give everything to make this work?" He intertwined his fingers with hers over his tummy, "if this, for any reason doesn't work out, we'd work together for Bean?"

Harry's anxiety about this has been all time high, since he came to terms with his feelings. He's been cheated on twice, went through messiest breakups, he wants Juniper to have the best life as possible. Regardless of what happens to him.

"Don't want to jinx anything. You know I've stayed away from all this for long now." He continued, "just to give this a try with you. Hopefully it works out."

"Why won't it?" She said, "I know I'm not in place to say this, but everything works out at the end and if doesn't it's fine. Well, I just need a moment to freak out a little before, you know that's just how I function. We can make this work."

"Don't know how you do this." He just shook his head in disbelief, not even twelve hours ago she has been freaking out, wanting be cut open thinking it'll be easier way out. "We can make this work, yeah."

"Yeah, that's the attitude!" She hyped him up. He knows it's her teacher side coming out.

"I didn't want it to be this way, but will you be my girlfriend, YN?" He leaned in closer to just feel her warmth.

"Mhmm." She rested her forehead on his. It was enough for him to make the first move, place his lips on hers. Butterflies made their way upto her head from her tummy making her brain grow fuzzy for a moment.

"Waited so long for this too." He mumbled before he was kissing her again, feeling her hand rest over his cheek. He eventually pulled away to let her breathe. "Think we should try and get some sleep?" He placed a delicate kiss on the tip of her nose.

"Yep."

......................................................................

Harry and YN slept all fine the entire night. In fact YN was still asleep when Bean woke up. She was given her vaccines and checked on once again. She's all healthy and fit to go to her home. They were being discharged just before breakfast.

Harry forgot the car seat at home, so he asked Jeremy to get it who so kindly agreed too. Harry got all the paper work done, his lawyer had already had the previous agreement terminated first thing this morning.

"And what will be her full name?" The nurse asked. YN looked at Harry because she doesn't know her middle name yet.

"It will be Juniper Sophia Styles." Harry spoke, "or it can be YLN-Styles, YN?"

"Oh, I," she was flabbergasted again, "I, I don't mind."

"It'll be YLN-Styles please." Harry told the nurse, even spelled out the name. Just a few signatures later they were walking out with the baby and their stuff. Harry held the bag with his arm around YN's waist as she had Bean in her arms.

They're just gonna call her Bean. It suits her more. She is a bean.

"You picked my mum's name to be her middle name?" YN asked and she waddled next to him.

It is still painful to walk okay!

"Of course I did, darling." Her agreed.

"Is that the new baby!" Jeremy gasped.

"She is!" YN cooed walking over to him.

"Oh she's precious!" Who knew Bean would melt a tough looking six and half feet bulky guy awing like a little person, but she did. "Can I hold her?"

"Of course you can!" YN handed Bean to him carefully as she helped Harry with the bags. Yep, they came with one bag but are leaving with two as the hospital gave YN some stuff which she needs, like medications, sanitary products, there was a pump and jar or formula just in case. There was a lot of stuff.

The car ride home was peaceful and calm, Bean was awake just staring at her mum sitting next to her, but she's mostly sleepy. She's all bundled up even though it's a little warmer on Mrs. Singh's advice. She needs time to adjust because it has always been warm in her mummy's belly. Her tiny hands were in tiny mittens and there was tiny beanie on her head which her Aunty Gemma knitted just for her by hand.

Jeremy drove as Harry was sat in the passenger seat.

They're going home.

YN is both anxious and excited to see what life has in store in future. At least she wouldn't have to leave her baby and act like she doesn't exist for the rest of her life. That was like the universe worth of weight lifted off her back.

......................................................................

N O T E :

Phewwww! It took longer than I expected to finish!

If you kept up with this story, this is the last part. There won't be more parts of these.

I might do little check-ins with them, if I get enough requests and responses. If not then I won't. I left it on an open ending.

......................................................................

Tag list:

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[charliee]

Relaxing moment with Kylian Mbappé

Sorry, english is not my first language but i promise to improve it.

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It wasn't that y/n didn't like her current job. On the contrary, having a routine and a purpose for leaving the house every day was what made her feel independent. But this same routine that made her feel useful also sucked all her energy and disposition to enjoy the little free time she had, and these were almost always filled with worries about the job. But there were also small moments that took her out of these stressful situations and brought her to the clouds in a matter of seconds, and the one who provided these moments was Kylian. Y/o looked at her boyfriend who greeted her at the door with a warm hug and a gentle kiss on the forehead. Her body relaxed against his, snuggling into his warmth.

- I've missed you, Ma chérie, I've been thinking about you all day. - Kylian said against her hair. Y/o let out a satisfied sigh, reluctantly leaving the cozy warmth of her boyfriend's chest to take off her shoes and sit down on the large sofa that looked even more inviting because of her tiredness.- I think someone is really tired here. How was your day? - Kylian asked with a playful tone, also sitting down on the couch and putting his sore feet in his lap, which was met with a grateful smile from you, knowing that he cares to know how your day went, even if it wasn't as exciting as a soccer player's, made you not look at it so negatively.

- Nothing new, you know, it's just that I'm feeling a bit...overwhelmed.

Kylian has always supported you in your goals, he was the first to support you to leave your old job in order to grow and he is also the proudest guy when it comes to saying how smart his girlfriend is and that she is the best at what she does. But Kylian would also be the first to tell you to abandon something that isn't doing you any good, he would enter his highest level of protective boyfriend if he knew that you were on the verge of a nervous breakdown because of work.

- Your boss isn't giving you more work than you can handle, right? - Her countenance was calm, even though her voice carried concern, and her hands began to slide down his feet and ankles, pressing carefully, drawing a tired but relaxed sigh.- No, but work has been more exhausting, if I want that promotion I'll have to work twice as hard, three times as hard in fact.

- You knew that being the girlfriend of the most talked about soccer player at the moment could give you easier access to the position you were aiming for, any position in fact, but you were never like that, choosing to get what you wanted by your own efforts without Kylian's influence, even if you had to do triple what a white man would do.

- Can I try to convince you again to accept my influence to provide you with a better job?- Kylian, we have already talked about this.

- What about you staying at home without worrying about anything, just being treated like the queen that you are?

- That option was also discussed and equally denied, my love. - You rebutted him with a smile. - But about being treated like a queen, do you think I can get that treatment now? I feel like I ran a marathon.

- Ma chérie, you can ask me anything you want and the answer will always be yes. - Kylian had a lazy smile on his face, you assumed that his day was not one of the smoothest either, but he still seemed willing enough to make you have a relaxing evening. Kylian shortened the distance between the two of you and deposited a soft kiss on your lips, caressing the sides of your body, Y/o's hands moved up towards your neck to deepen the kiss, but was surprised by a jolt from her boyfriend who lifted her off the couch bridal style towards the bathroom. Kylian set her down and turned on the tub, and turned around quickly as soon as he heard you start to undress.

- Non non, mon ange, today I will take care of you. - Kylian interrupted your movements and looked at you with a passionate gaze that you had no idea was possible due to your current state, neutral clothes that revealed nothing much, your hair caught in a clumsy hairstyle done at work, and the rest of the make-up you had put on in the morning, all seemed too ordinary and undeserving of such devotion.

As if he had read your thoughts Kylian said this, as he took off his clothes, but this action was not like he had done the other times, there was desire but this was a moment of devotion and gratitude reflected in his actions. - I love the life I lead with you, to be able to lie down with you every night and wake up with you. I am grateful for the time we spend together and I dare say I am also grateful for the longing I feel when we are away, longing is the certainty that we have the capacity to love.

A trail of kisses was deposited as each piece of clothing was removed, Y/o didn't know what to say, he just stood there admiring the love of his life saying one of the most beautiful things his ears had ever heard. Kylian didn't usually show his devotion with sugary words, always opting for physical touch, gifts and actions, but on this night he was particularly tempted to speak his deep thoughts and feelings. As soon as the tub filled up, the best products that were arranged in the bathroom were mixed in the water, Kylian helped his girlfriend into the warm water, kissed her forehead and lit some of his favorite candles that he knew would help her relax even more.

- Join me Ky, please. - Y/o's voice and face sounded needy and wanting, Kylian didn't wait a second request and undressed at the same moment and posed behind Y/o. In other moments the situation would be taken to another goal, but now what the two wanted most was the calm water and a relaxing moment just listening to each other's breathing. - Thank you for everything, mon coeur. - Your speech didn't last long because y/o was assured that Kylian knew the meaning of those words and was answered by him with a trail of kisses from shoulder to ear, he smiling slightly to hear you using that nickname he likes so much. Y/o let out a satisfied sigh, feeling all the tension fade away with the light massage on her shoulders and the warm water that worked wonders on her aching muscles. It was these simple moments that made her happy and made everything worthwhile, she could endure another day of hard work if she had the assurance that she would have Kylian wrapping her in his arms and making her feel like the luckiest woman in France.

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looking forward to the game between PSG and Bayern München

[rotting-ink]

What are the ROs like when they realize they're in love? Which one's have an "Oh shit!" moment lol

L Rawlins- L takes a moment to feel all soft and fluttery about it, then feels horrified. They're double your age! Feels like an old pervert for a while.

S Della Rovere- Fucking sings it from the rooftops. They've been in love before, but that was years back! Has a "we're so back" moment, they adore being in love. Will immediately go to the Witch and celebrate this, even if the Witch has no fuckin clue what they're on about.

Z Chambers- Feels horrified. They were only supposed to help you out! Not!! Not this!! Oh god! On the verge of a total nervous breakdown all the while having a poker face.

V De Winters- Deeply elated. However, also completely miserable about it. Going to lie there, in bed, with a bottle of wine for ages and just groan out a cuss word. Going to go back to normal after a while and be extra charming to their little Witch.

Seir- Well... They always did. They always knew.

Saleos- Very very BIG oH SHit moment. Horrified, only meant to fuck around with their previous master but now? God. Just when life was getting bearable again.

Starling Knight- Head in hands, groaning. Lets their head hit the desk. Going to take a shot and then never think about this ever again, they're an adult for god's sake and no they do not get butterflies around you!

A Lancaster- Fully wants death in the moment. "Are you completely kidding me." So angry about it they become an asshole to you. Gonna show up to your cottage to blame you for it. So goddamn angry about it.

E Rawlins- In Book 1, they're aware that they have a puppy crush. By book 3, they fully have that turned around into knowing they've always been the one for you. So has gone from puppy crush into wild dog fixation.

Quincy Beaumont- Smile falls. Lies all melancholy on their bed, the opera director begging at their door. Won't get work done until their muse gets there and then there's more touchy and draping over you and starts... Oh. >> It gets a bit dirty here.

D Woolf- Going to go to A. And just sit with a cup of tea, all bug eyed. A is going to leave them to it, knowing they just get like this but D is feeling all soft and rosy inside.

[toomanystoriessolittletime]

Undercover Problem

Summary: You volunteered to go on an undercover mission without really reading the mission report or acknowledging that there would be someone going with you. When you learn that you would have to pretend to be married to Marcus Pike on this mission you end up having a nervous breakdown. Because you're 34. And you have never been kissed.

Pairing: Marcus Pike x fem. reader (though it can be read as gn. reader)

Worcount: 2.8k

Rating: G

Warnings: made up facts about the FBI and undercover missions, anxiety attacks, food, fluff, humour as a coping mechanism, fluffffff

A/N: This goes out to all the late bloomers (and everyone else who just want to read a cheesy first kiss) If I missed anything that makes the reader gender neutral let me now. I tagged this as fem. reader because I always write with a female reader in mind.

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You walked through the FBI headquarters with, what you hoped looked like, a professional smile plastered to your lips, nodding at anyone who greeted you. Trying to appear not like you were fleeing to your office.

You could only hope nobody could see the anxiety attack that you were on the verge of having. 

The door of your office was almost in front of you when you heard your name being called behind you by a familiar voice. 

Closing your eyes you took a deep breath, before you changed your destination towards the women's bathroom. Somewhere where you wouldn’t have to tell him to leave you alone. 

“I gotta use the restroom quickly. I’ll find you after,” you turned around briefly, catching Marcus Pike’s eyes for a fleeting moment before you practically ran down towards the restroom. 

This was fine. 

It would be totally fine. 

You were fine. 

Sitting on the toilet seat in the thankfully empty bathroom you massaged your temples, taking deep breaths. You had finally stopped shaking, your chest fully and slowly expanding as your lungs filled with much needed air. 

It shouldn’t have taken you by surprise that the meeting you had just attended was about the mission your boss had approached you about earlier this week. For years you had worked on getting information on Claudio Monero, the highest ranking mob boss of the Monero Mafia clan in the States. 

It was your first big case and you were proud of the progress you made not only in your division, but in working with many different crime divisions at the bureau. 

Claudio Monero also was involved in art crimes, which was the reason you had been working closely with Agent Marcus Pike, Senior Agent of the FBI art crime division. 

He was…. Honestly made straight out of a fairytale. He was funny, he was caring, he had your breakfast order down after three days of meeting for the first time and he was so fucking handsome in an almost annoying way. You sometimes asked yourself if he was real. 

You caught female (and male) Agents secretly swooning over him more than once in the break room. And you couldn’t blame them. 

You definitely had a crush on him, which also was your problem because… you had no fucking idea how to act on it. If you would act on it that was. 

Because the… maybe sad or let's say unique/different/annoying fact was, that at the tender age of 34 you had never been on a date. Or been kissed. Or… well you get the idea. 

And up until Marcus Pike strolled into your life with his smile and dimples and warm brown eyes, you never really thought about another man (or woman) like that. Like you wanted to know what made them laugh. How they spend their lazy Sunday mornings. How they tasted. 

But ever since then it was like a switch was flipped in your brain and you had no idea what to do. 

Was this how teenagers felt in puberty? Because your parents more than once told you that they felt like you skipped that part of growing up and went straight to adulthood at the tender age of thirteen.

Only one friend knew about your… lack of experience. You had tried to tell someone else once a long time ago, only to find out they had told everyone they knew about it, making you the weird one. Ever since then you lied about it to not feel like a weirdo. God you were a mess. 

Which brought you to your current problem. 

Claudio Monero would be in Washington next week for a charity gala and the FBI had managed to get two invitations. Two agents would pose as newly married couple Colin and Riley Rogers who had made a name for themselves selling forged art.

That should have been your first hint on who would go undercover with you. 

You volunteered to go undercover when you heard about it the first time and your boss had a long talk with you, because this would be your first time going undercover. 

She only did not mention everything that would be included on the mission. 

You probably should have read the fine print when she gave you the mission report.

There you would have read that not only are the two undercover Agents freshly married and very in love, no. That married couple also was open about visiting swinger parties, something Claudio Monero was heavily involved in and known for in the community. 

Which meant that the FBI Agents also would attend one of his swinger parties in two weeks that he had planned in DC. Of course without the intention of…. Partricipating in any kind of sexual relations (the FBI could not force their Agents to have sex for the sake of getting information, though they did not explicitly forbid it).

Had you known that, you probably hadn’t volunteered like the dumb idiot you were.

That was the first time today you almost had a nervous breakdown in the fully seated meeting room as your boss presented the plan for the undercover mission. 

But then you learned that the other Agent who would go undercover with you, the man you would have to pretend to be newly wedded and very much in love with, would be Agent Marcus Pike. 

You don’t remember much of the meeting after that, only his eyes on you, his stupid pretty face giving you an encouraging smile that slowly dropped the longer he looked at you, replaced by a frown and maybe even concern the longer you had been stuck in the meeting.

You bolted out of the door as soon as the meeting was finished. 

This… was a fucking mess. 

But you could do it. Right?

You knew that your co-workers were wondering about your private life after working together for almost ten years and never bringing anyone to any kind of Christmas party or get-together you had throughout the years. 

More than once had Agent Murphy tried to ask you out, only for you to shut him down firmly last year. He spread some rumours about you being uptight and difficult after but you couldn’t care less. 

Now you wondered if Marcus had heard those rumours too.

God, Marcus. 

You’d have to get close to him. Closer than you ever had been with anyone really. Or you could… quit. Move to another country and live on a tiny Greece island and make feta cheese until you die. 

There was a knock on the door and you jumped to your feet. 

“Sorry. I’ll be right out,” you called, releasing a sigh. 

“Are you okay?” It was Marcus. Of course it was. 

You looked at the mirror over the sink before you grabbed a paper towel and cleaned your mascara off your cheeks. You didn’t even remember that you cried? Your eyes were red though, nothing you could do about it now.

“Can you let me in?” he asked, his voice now quieter. 

You kept looking at yourself in the mirror. Calming yourself down. You had to get it over with. Even though living out your life out in this public restroom had a nice ring to it, you knew you couldn’t hide here forever. And Marcus was right outside.

Deep down you knew that you couldn’t ask for a better partner to go undercover than him. And you wouldn’t even have to play being in love with him.

Oh shit did you really just admit that to yourself? 

He said your name and you walked over to the door unlocking it. He slowly opened it, looking at you with those warm brown eyes. 

You took a deep breath. 

“I need to talk to you,” you said.

“If it’s about the mission. I can request someone else if you’re not comfortable with me going with you. You worked long on this case, you should be the one seeing it through,” he said.

Your heart warmed. Anyone else would insist on being on this mission to take the credit, but not him. You shook our head. 

“That’s… That’s not it. Can we… Can we go to my office? There’s something I have to tell you,” you said quietly. 

“Of course,” he nodded, giving you a small smile. 

“Good,” you nodded too. 

“I’ll meet you there in five minutes?” he asked. 

“Okay.”

His eyes lingered on you for another moment before he turned around and walked towards the elevator, probably to his office which was on another floor. 

You, in the meantime, went to your office to google how expensive living on a greece island was. 

He brought cake. And the good coffee from the first floor. 

Of course he did. 

He sat down across from you while you took a sip from your coffee. 

Apparently living in Greece wasn’t as cheap as you thought, so you decided the best plan was to come clean to Marcus about your… lack of experience of… literally anything that had to do with love. 

Easy peasy.

Even if he would judge you for it, you trusted him to keep your secret and not be mean about it. 

“You’re quiet,” he observed. 

“I’m thinking,” you replied, reaching for the cake. Lemon sponge. Another one of your favourites. 

“About what?”

“About my reaction earlier,” you took a bite. 

“Looked to me like you didn’t read the report before,” he teased and you rolled your eyes. 

“Guilty.”

“I get it. It’s your first undercover mission and of course it’s the one where you get to pretend to be into some kinky shit with a complete stranger. It’s not perfect.”

“That’s not it. I just… Fuck. Okay,” you took a deep breath and Marcus raised his left eyebrow, eying you warily. 

“I have never been in love. Ever. I don’t know if something’s wrong with me or if I’m just… oblivious if someone along the way has been interested in me in that way but…” you shook your head, "pretending to be freshly married and in love and in some kinky shit? Yeah I should have read the fucking report before,” you laughed nervously, taking another bigger bite of your cake to shut yourself up. 

You avoided Marcus' eyes, not really wanting to see his reaction.

“If you save you have never been in love before, you mean…” you looked at him and he tilted his head. 

“Yeah. I’ve never… kissed someone. Or… had sex. Which doesn’t mean I might not be into some kinky shit but I’ve never….”

He parted his lips in surprise while you shoved more of the cake into your mouth. You focused on chewing the cake while Marcus processed the news. 

“I have to admit you caught me off guard there. But.... It actually makes some sense? I really thought…” he huffed to himself and you grew even more nervous. He shook his head to himself, a smile playing on the corner of his lips before he looked at you. 

“You really thought what?” you asked. He seemed to be in thoughts before his face fell. 

“The undercover mission…” he said and you nodded. 

“Yeah. That’s why…. I have to ask a favour. A big one and you can say no and I will go to my boss tomorrow and request that she finds someone else but. I really want to see this fucker behind bars. And I want to be the one to do it. So… I need you to kiss me. Before we go undercover. There’s no way a newly married couple isn’t kissing or touching each other. And the swinger party… We won’t have sex. But we have to be comfortable with each other so… I am asking you to kiss me. Now,” you ended your rant. 

Marcus blinked his eyes at you, his face blank. 

“You want me to… kiss you?” he asked. You nodded. 

“Now?”

You nodded again.

“Because of the mission?” he asked. You hesitated. “Because if it’s just because of that my answer is no.”

“Why?” you breathed. 

A small smile came to his face, his eyes softening as he leaned closer. 

“Because it’s your first kiss. Ever. And maybe that’s my romantic heart but your first kiss should be with someone who means something to you. Someone you want to kiss and not someone you just… rip the bandaid off with so you can go on a mission.”

You took a deep breath, your thoughts running through your head. You knew that you would have never asked him to kiss you if you hadn’t been assigned this mission with him. Because he was your co-worker. Because you didn’t know if he’d be interested. Because deep down you wanted your first kiss to be with someone who meant as much to you as you did to them and you were scared to be rejected. 

“But if… You happen to have some other reason to ask me of all people, reasons that have not to do with the mission, then I want you to know that I have been thinking about kissing you for a while now,” he said, his eyes warm. 

What he was trying to say took a couple of seconds before your lips parted in surprise. 

“Really?” you gasped. 

He nodded, a smile on his lips. 

“Do you think I know the breakfast order of every one of my co-workers? Or how they drink their coffee? Or that they are the funniest and most beautiful person I might have ever met? I thought you weren’t interested,” he said. 

“I… I don’t know what to say. I didn’t think…” you laughed nervously. 

Marcus said your name, his hand reaching over your desk to put it on top of yours. 

“Do you want me to kiss you?”

You walked with him in comfortable silence, his hand holding yours as the sun set slowly. 

After your confession he had asked you to meet him in the parking garage after you both finished for the day. You followed him with your car, as you drove through the busy streets, surprised when he parked at the Lincoln Memorial. He waited for you at the exit after you parked, taking your hand to lead you through the evening crowd at the sight. 

Every time he looked at you from his side, you finally started to understand what people meant when they said that they felt like there were butterflies in their belly. You never experienced love, but if it was only half as what happened in your brain when you were looking at Marcus Pike you might finally know what all the fuss was about. 

He walked a little away from the crowds, towards the cherry blossom trees that were in full bloom, until he stopped and came to stand in front of you. He had switched his blazer for a very soft looking dark blue coat and you wondered if it was as soft as it looked. 

“Your first kiss isn’t something that should happen in a dark office between files and outdated stock art,” he said. Marcus took a step closer, and you sucked your bottom lip in as he let go of your hand. Slowly he rested his one hand on your waist, his other hand coming up, his fingers brushing over your cheek. 

Your breathing got faster as you tipped your head up, giving him a shy smile which he mirrored. 

“You brought me to the Lincoln Memorial at sunset to kiss me?” you whispered. 

He shook his head. 

“I brought you to the Lincoln Memorial at sunset because I want to give you the perfect first kiss,” he said and you smiled. 

“Perfect huh?” you teased, feeling brave as you put one of your hands on his chest. And yeah, the coat was as soft as you had imagined. 

“I mean it is your first. So it’s not like you would know if it wasn’t,” he shrugged with a teasing smile and you playfully slapped his chest before you both laughed. 

But then he put his hand on your cheek, pulling you closer as he leaned in, a soft smile still on his lips. 

“I like to make a fuss for the people that I lo…. Like,” he corrected himself at the last minute and your heart fluttered. You put your other arm around him, resting your hand on his neck, your fingers playing with his hair. 

“In all my life I haven’t thought about kissing someone before I met you Marcus,” you said quietly and he released a shuddering breath.

“Then I’m gonna kiss you now,” he said and you nodded. 

“On the lips,” he added and you chuckled before sighed as his lips pressed down on yours.