#not necessarily unhappy but more just thoughtful

[renattack]

anon asked about the conwilla piece I was nibbling at. here it isss.

(it’s still a wip, but since I don’t know when I’ll get back around to it I figured I’d share it) 

[yan-lorkai]

https://www.tumblr.com/yan-lorkai/720655214474035200/good-evening-if-you-dont-mind-id-like-to-hear

Okay so what about this but the reader got a hysterectomy or got her tubes tied before they met without him knowing? How do you think the boys would react? Like let’s say they didn’t have the (new) surgery where you could transplant another woman’s uterus to get pregnant. What would they do if they found out she couldn’t get pregnant anymore?

☆ A/N: Interesting concept, I hadn't thought about it before :o. Wrote this for Malleus, Leona, Rook and Riddle. Let me know if you want a part 2 with other characters, darling!

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Warnings: Yandere content, pregnancy talk, hysterectomy, afab reader (no pronouns used).

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Malleus would be indifferent - not because he doesn't want a child with you. But because it is still possible for you two to have a biological child without you necessarily being pregnant, as dragon fae eggs can only be brought to existence through pure love. Though not in the conventional way, your child will be born as he did once, hatching from an egg, nurtured with the love you both feel. But, in the scenario that this possibility also couldn't happen, he would be devastated. He really wanted to have a family with you and it's just not possible anymore. His dreams are shattered and he needs a moment to recompose himself, you can hear thunders for days on end. Deep within he wished he had met you earlier, that he could keep you from making this surgery. But what's done is done. Though he wonders, could he regrown your uterus with his magic?

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Leona is apathetic about it. It was not a priority as he liked having all your attention on himself, but even someone like him had imagined how your child would look like. Would they have your eyes and his smile? Either way, when you tell him that you got a hysterectomy due to health problems and couldn't get pregnant, he just kinda nods and goes on as if he hadn't heard that at all. It's not really a big deal to him. If you want a child so bad then you can always adopt one or two, even three or four.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Rook is so dramatic about it. He write many melancholic poems in your honour for some reason, coming from a big family you figured he would be more shocked or something. But he is chill with the news, just affectionately annoying you and draping himself all over you. After all he knows he can still tie you to him even without a baby. However he does daydream about you, fuzzy face from sleep and with bed hair, holding your baby at night, singing to make them sleep. He kinda wishes it was possible though, he wanted to be with you through each and every stage of your pregnancy. A pity.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Riddle is clearly unhappy with the news. Like, it is true that there are some diseases and syndromes that require partial or total removal of the uterus or cutting of the uterine tubes. Whatever your reason for having that surgery, Riddle respects that, he even asked you if you were suffering from something. But he still feels sad knowing that he won't be able to have children with you, though he will never tell you that to not burden you with his unnecessary thoughts. But it's noticeable, the way he sighs and stares at the wall for several minutes, or how happy he is when he can take care of his friends' children. It's obvious even. Every happy couple have a child but you two. So if you can't get pregnant, Riddle wants to adopt.

[dekusleftsock]

Dekus no good, very bad, faceplant into masculinity and internalized homophobia

I made this a thought post from chapter 402 originally, but I can’t let these thoughts fester any longer. Gotta be correct about it 🫶🫶🫶

Alright so when I originally talked about this on a couple of platforms (not just tumblr, tiktok too and a bit on Twitter that has no connection to this account lmao) I feel like people told me that I was “stretching” with my assumptions.

But then Toga’s backstory being told to Ochako was… directly referenced to a queer allegory. And in 394, she directly says that she likes girls. It’s the thing said last, implying it’s something she’s still ashamed of feeling.

This chapter basically confirmed in my mind that Himiko’s blood quirk was the equivalent to the homophobia that was probably in her own household. And in my mind, that means that blood quirk = metaphor on her queer experience.

And then suddenly, the pieces clicked into place.

In 348, Izuku disagrees with Himiko and Ochako’s ideals—not only at the idea of girly romance, but also at unconventional romance.

Ochako has distanced herself due to Izuku’s inability to confront his own feelings. Shown both physically and metaphorically.

Ochako took all the steps to walk away because from Izuku. Because Izuku held her back.

Or more rather, she realized that Izuku was no allmight, but rather just an average boy in need of saving as anyone else. He is someone who’s flaws cannot align with Ochako’s own ideals for a relationship.

Because ochako is weird.

Izuku holds her back. She can’t be everything she needs to be while around him.

And that’s something Izuku’s not going to understand, not like how she needs him to understand.

And Himiko knows who Ochako is on a more fundamental level than Izuku ever will, and that’s okay.

I feel like whenever I talk about these character flaws having to do with Izuku, it almost sounds like I’m bashing him? I swear, I’m not, it makes complete sense as to why he is this way. And there are people (Katsuki) in the world who can have this in a relationship under the right communication, and some people can’t. And that’s just how we exist. That’s okay. We don’t all have to be compatible with everyone.

Back to the main point, the pieces and the people putting those pieces together were starting to see their parallels.

Even the manga placement parallels them, especially with how clever I feel horikoshi can be with his paneling.

Looking down, looking up. Both three quarter angles. Small mouth expression, big mouth expression. And that blush.

Fake smile when unhappy. Falling for someone who is dying, who you’d do anything for, even toe the line of death defending them, fixing them—just because you can’t help but love someone you wish had walked into your life sooner (or in Izuku’s case, accepted into your life sooner).

Someone you’d sacrifice for. Someone you’re violent for. Someone you’d kill for.

Someone you’d rather let an entire population of people die for than live without.

Someone you’re undeniably, unequivocally, selfish for.

And yet Izuku doesn’t recognize his same symptoms of love through Himiko Toga as Ochako does.

Himiko must be dehumanized to Izuku, because if she’s a person, then she is him.

(What’s even more interesting about this panel, is that if the characters were reversed and it was about Izuku’s violent feelings over protecting Katsuki, danger sense would be going off constantly. So toga is the perfect counter, but Izuku is the ultimate weakness.)

So, okay, how exactly do these things matter? How does this have to do with Izuku’s own personal struggle over his masculinity?

I think what’s important to clarify here is that when I say “internalized homophobia”, I don’t mean that he necessarily is beating himself up over the fact that he likes a boy instead of a girl.

I think it’s connected to his fear of rejection, and his own personal issues having to do with remaining a “strong man” instead of a “weak man”.

Izuku may not believe that liking men is anyone’s business but his own, but does Katsuki think that?

Izuku has called his feelings of admiration gross. Not that he himself is an awful person for feeling them, but that Katsuki will be the one to think they’re gross. And he’s worked so hard to get to this point in their relationship, he doesn’t wanna let it go over some stupid feelings.

And this is where toga comes into the picture, his parallels between her, because just how is Toga supposed to know that Ochako isn’t judging her for her feelings? Technically, all of the things she’s said before the final fight between them have only proved the inevitable. That Toga is gross, a freak, a predator, a danger, because she loves a woman.

How is Izuku supposed to interpret being called a stalker by Katsuki? How is he supposed to interpret when people call him creepy for his muttering and analyzation? How is he supposed to interpret being called a crybaby by his idol, Katsuki, and everyone else when he cannot control that?

How can he handle feelings that are out of his control, and still believe that they’re okay?

And at the very least, even if homophobia doesn’t exist in mha, heteronormativity does. Especially shown through Ashido, a straight girl.

None of that is necessarily Allmight, Katsuki, or even Ochako’s fault, because of course they’re just teasing him—but it doesn’t change the fact that it affects how he perceives himself.

So when I say that Izuku has problems with internalized homophobia, I mean that he is afraid of how the people around him will perceive him, than a constant feeling of self hatred due to not liking women.

And when I say that his internalized homophobia is an extension of his masculinity, I mean that because he has no confidence in himself and his more vulnerable emotions, he is unable to accept what or who he is. This ofc affects the people around him, like saying that Ochako CANT be weird because she’s just “so amazingly normal” without realizing that he’s just downplaying who she is and what she thinks, or dehumanizing the most openly queer character in the series because it benefits the perception he has of himself, or even silently rejecting Katsuki’s feelings simply out of a need to “control his heart and control his quirk”.

In Izuku’s mind, the only way to keep Katsuki is to not be the weird kid he was in his childhood. In a way, Izuku is still performing for Katsuki.

[strawberry-crocodile]

Multiple things can be true at once. Transmisogyny can be a vital term for some of us to communicate the intersection of transphobia and misogyny that we face. But others may experience it more complicatedly or severely, as in the case of transmisogynoir. And for others (e.g., certain nonbinary people, trans male/masculine-spectrum people), misogyny may intersect with transphobia in different ways that aren’t adequately articulated by transmisogyny. This doesn’t necessarily make transmisogyny “wrong”; it may simply mean that we need additional language.

- Julia Serano

I want to be clear, I don't intend to send this as a "gotcha". I'm just curious about how you feel about this quote as someone who is passionate about discussing transmisogyny (as you should be)

it more or less lines up with what i talk about- that Transmisogyny is an important term that is separate from intersexism and how transmasculine people experience transphobia.

as for "additional language", to talk about my thoughts on Transmisandry;

As a teenager (this is something I'm genuinely ashamed of, to be clear) I spent a few years immersed in anti-sjw MRA spaces. I was sucked in by my own unhappiness with manhood (which in hindsight probably had... other causes) as well as a conservative desire for my gut reactions (we don't need more feminism or anti-racism, everything is fine!) to be right, and what privilege i had to be unchallenged.

Part of what brought me into those spaces was that I was choosing to focus on Men's Issues- to single them out, to try and compare them to feminism and "legitimize" Men's Rights as something that needs space, needs a voice, needs focus.

And now, many of the people who use the word Transmisandry and try to talk about Transphobia Against Trans Men without a proper feminist framework get sucked into harmful, conservative ideology, frame women within their community as equally capable of oppressing men- if not moreso- and absolve themselves of the responsibility to question their own biases, prejudices, and privilege.

Transmasculine people experience transphobia- there's no doubt in my mind there- and misogyny can often play a part, because that is the language of a gendered underclass. However, within the queer and trans community, there are biases and trends that benefit trans men over trans women. This is literally what intersectionalism means. This is a big reason why we need to be able to talk about transmisogyny in the specific; and because the reverse is not true, transmisandry lacks that ground.

All this is to say, I don't really care about the semantics of whether or not Trans Misandry is an intersection of misandry and transphobia; rather, that transmisandry just isn't a structural issue within the community that particularly needs to be identified and discussed separate from transphobia in general. Anyone who chooses to single out and focus on it- anyone who isn't content with "transphobia (as it manifests) against transmascs"- is very likely to be falling for the aforementioned MRA pitfalls, and if not, will be in the company of such people soon enough.

[daichiduskdrop]

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚⋆·˚ ༘ *𝙎𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙡 ⋆·˚ ༘ *ੈ✩‧₊˚

Chapter 19

Pairing: BTS Ot7 X fem! reader

Genre: A/B/O AU, Fluff, Angst, Strangers to lovers,

Warnings: mentions of blood, a bit of gore too.

Words: 3329

A/N at the end, please read!

Taglist: @thelilbutifulthings @ilovemoneymorethenmen @singukieee @cherrysainttt @felicityroth @mageprincess7 @lucis-noctiana @danielle143 @osakis-gf @girl-nahh @vintageoldfashion @neverthefirstchoice @juju-227592 @silentreadersthings @i-have-no-life-charlie @everyonehatesshani @iamkookiesforyou @dragons-flare @fangirl125reader @roseidol @frieschan @popcatx0 @liz67900 @exfolitae

Previous:

⋆·˚ ༘ *ੈ✩‧₊˚˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚˚ ✩‧₊˚⋆·˚ ༘ *

Taehyung could feel his blood boil. You were the softest, nicest little thing he ever met; how could anyone not like you?

Your classmates, he felt rage rumble deep underneath his skin just at the thought of them. They didn't like you? So be it. The alpha hated them like no one else, despising them.

How dare they be so unwell towards you?! You never did one thing wrong to them, and you never even whined in their presence. You always complied with and obeyed their ridiculous wants and needs.

He was pissed—no, he was furious—already standing up after pushing the broken notebook off his lap. The heavy scent of anger filled the room.

A few growls could be heard throughout the room. This was not okay, and they were not happy.

Namjoon held you close to himself, your face squished against his scent gland, his hands squeezing you to his body.

A deep rumble carried through the bottom of his chest, and a small yelp left you, making him to immediately stop.

„Baby no, no, it's okay... I'm not angry at you, pup, alright? Hm? Can you tell me their names, baby? Alpha will go and have a chat with them." He murmured, watching you closely.

Running his knuckles gently over your skin, he tried to coax the names out of you; a few of the other packmates were quick to catch on.

No omega would be happy to see violence. They would go around it for you. Their intentions were quite clear to understand, though the heavy scents they didn't carry weren't telling enough.

After Yoongi came back in the middle of your soft stuttering like sobs when you were telling them what has been going on for a while now, he soon listened in and understood.

He was more than angry; the alpha has never felt such irritation before. He already had quite an interesting call with your class teacher.

While the man didn't necessarily seem like a straight-up terrible man, he should have known better. Making you cry and so stressed out for a reason, purely out of your hands was more than punishable. 

And so the alpha was furious, understandably so. Jungkook also seemed to be greatly unhappy; his jaw clenched while he tightened his fists.

The still-young and quite hormonal alpha wasn't doing so well. Since the pack has pretty much already started imprinting on you, they were very unhappy, knowing that possibly their own omega has been bullied for such a long time.

„Princess, come to oppa now... Let's go take a nap for a bit, hm? I bet you are tired, sweetie." The alpha whispered out, fully aware of what would go down once you were out of earshot.

Wanting you to not have to listen too much, Jimin knew that you were probably still very tired. It was only understandable; you were an omega, and those have to sleep for long hours regularly.

Letting go of you reluctantly, the younger alpha pulled you from Namjoon's warm arms, cooing loudly and helping you wrap your legs around his waist.

Nuzzling your head, the alpha giggled softly, happy to hold you. Smiling widely, he nuzzled your cheek, letting his soft lips ghost over your skin.

Standing up, the eldest also followed along, running his fingers through your hair as you let your head rest against the alpha's collarbone, getting more sleepy by the second.

Walking up the stairs, Jimin swayed you gently, making sure you were sleepy enough as he made his way to his room.

He had a nice, spacious bed and was very aware that you would be able to sleep much better in the heavy alpha's scents surrounding you.

After all, the youngest alphas oftentimes hung out in this room, and so it was full of different smells, bringing further comfort.

Holding you to his chest with one arm, he uncovered the blanket, crawling gently on the mattress. Coming in after him, Jin waited for his packmate to settle down with you before he also went into the bed.

Spooning you, the eldest made sure to turn you away from the doors, the man's wide shoulders shielding you from view.

They needed to make sure you would be safe, especially if they were asleep at the same time as you were.

He wrapped his hands around your waist, pulling your back to his chest while Jimin gently nuzzled your cheeks and face to his warm front.

„Sleep tight, my cub. Alpha's will protect you now, baby.” Jin whispered, gently running his fingers through your hair before he too scented you a bit.

Your eyes soon closed, and the two other men were still a bit watchful and careful of their surroundings, only going to sleep after being absolutely sure nothing would disturb any of you.

And so, you were completely unaware of what was going on downstairs; the packmates were unbelievably livid like never before.

Hoseok was the first one to stand up; his jaw clenched as he started to pull on his boots and jacket, looking through the bowl full of car keys.

„Are you serious?” Taehyung asked, also standing up. Before he got to finish, the youngest packmate had already stood up, kicking over the small table before the couch, the wood shattering into pieces with a loud crack.

Jungkook was furious, his pheromones clouding the whole room. No one, not even Namjoon, said much in answer to his act, feeling just like him, if not worse.

„I'm teaching those fuckers a lesson; they will absolutely not pick on my omega. Bitches don't know what's coming." Hoseok barked out, his voice rough and cold like never before.

Soon, the alphas too got ready, all just about to do the same. Piling into one of the bigger cars, they all went to drive together.

The school wasn't too far, and so the packmates soon got there. It was just about the lunch hour now, meaning that many of the classmates were just standing outside, resting during their break.

The packmates didn't hold back for too long, the classmates apologizing with many words - the alphas weren't the ones that had to be apologized to thought.

It was you that had been so wrongly dealt with, and you never deserved such treatment. But even when the angry pack stood before the two betas, their words didn't seem sincere at all.

The man sealed his fate when he muttered about you just overreacting under his breath. Jungkook jumped into action right away, too angry to hold back any further.

Only after one of the betas jaws seemed to be just about completely disconnected did the packalpha step in, pulling Jungkook off of the man.

The alpha snarled, still not done. Humming out in understanding, his elder only pulled him away further from the student, and the pack members soon pilled in together again.

There wasn't much anyone could do, especially since it happened outside of school. The pack had the full right to do whatever they pleased with the students since it only went with the law.

It was one of the more recent ones; after more and more reports regarding fights and murders, always with similar reasoning, resurfaced, the law changed, and the police no longer stepped in when such things happened, only going over them after to file a report if needed.

A pack was allowed to fully deal with anyone assaulting their packmates. No matter what they were to do to them, the law fully forgave them, and there was no penalty for it as long as it was reasonable.

When the pack got back home, they still felt much anger seeping through the bond. And so, many went on towards the gym, the youngest two and the packalpha being the fastest to be there.

Yoongi and Hobi decided it was best to forget about it for now, at least for a little bit. And so they washed off all the blood on their fists and fully showered, not wanting you to have to taint your sensitive nose with the smell of blood.

Changing into completely different clothes, the two alphas made sure none of the panicked scents the classmates carried before they were fully beaten to unconsciousness wouldn't stick.

Wanting to pamper and coddle you well for a while, the pack would then decide what to do next. Going back to the school you went to was already out of the question; the alphas were more than protective enough to even allow you to come close to the building again.

The two alphas decided that the creamy rose tteokbokki would serve as a good, filling, warm meal for your soft little belly.

And so they got to work, with Yoongi frying the cut-up bacon and sausages until they turned crispy and setting them aside. The other man, meanwhile, allowed the rice cakes to soak in water and diced up the onion and garlic, frying them in a different pan until they turned fragrant.

Hobi added dashi and milk, stirring it until it turned hot. He then poured in the heavy cream, gochujang, and a few other things. The sauce soon formed a comfortable orange shade.

The rose tteokbokki was a much milder version, which is key for you to be able to enjoy it. It was a creamy and cheesy meal, and the alphas were sure you would enjoy it a lot.

And so, the older alpha thinly sliced the fish cakes, adding the peeled boiling eggs. He made sure to boil at least eight or nine, blanching them in ice-cold water before starting to peel the shell off.

Hoseok then added the meat and rice cakes, turning off the heat and letting the mozzarella and Swiss cheese melt. Incorporating it, he sprinkled in a small bit of sesame oil.

Preparing eight deep plates, the alpha started serving everyone, always sprinkling on a bit of spring onion. It was best to eat it while it was still hot.

Taking the four plates each, the alphas started to walk slowly upstairs, the chopsticks and a few spoons pocketed in their pants.

Opening the doors slowly, Hobi walked in first, smiling widely when he saw the two alphas holding you so close.

Jin woke up right away, turning around quickly and looking over his shoulder while he pulled you closer to himself.

Recognising his packmates, he sighed out, laying back against the pillow, his shoulder sagging.

Coming closer, Yoongi looked over his elder's shoulder, cooing gently and caressing your cheek. You looked cuddly like never before, your face squished against the younger man's chest, his own head laying against the top of yours, covering you softly.

Even in his sleep, the alpha stayed protective, his warm hands holding you close. If anyone would even try to take you away, Jimin would wake up immediately; Yoongi was sure of it.

Placing the many plates down on the floor, Hobi went to wake them all up, Jin slowly blinking the sleep away. They didn't get to sleep for too long, but lunch had passed long before.

Most of the alphas already left the gym, with Jungkook being the last. Also washing themselves, the men were ready for some late lunch, with Yoongi taking them to Jimin's room.

They wouldn't be able to fit really comfortably, but they didn't care. You seemed happy in the bed, with many blankets and pillows around you, soft against your fingers.

Sitting up, Jimin placed you on his lap with your back right against his chest, resting himself against the headboard.

He was still more than tired. He was used to sleeping in late during their vacation time, and since they entered hiatus, he had more time to replenish his energy.

Sure, they were still planning many performances, but the alphas were now focusing more on their solo careers, and after so many years of endless stress and work, they were happy to finally let up for a bit.

The packmates realised that it was important to help you settle in well, and so they were planning on staying home and overall be with you more often.

They already had many vacations planned ahead, wanting to enjoy true packlife for the first time since their childhood.

Staying in, huddled together in a den, was a part of such activities, but since the alphas were usually not really cuddly and soft with one another, only very little, they didn't have a proper one.

They would invest in a nice, big mattress soon, though, making sure you would have a nice place where you could rest and nest. It was very important.

And so, the packmates all soon one after another littered in, their hair still a bit damp, but they didn't want to spend any time away from you, preferring instead to stay with you.

It was complicated for the alphas to have you out of their sight for now, and that feeling will definitely take a while to outgrow.

Squeezing in closer to one another, the pack members climbed into the bed, soon chewing on the meal. You reached for your own plate, but your palms were soon gently pulled back to your lap.

Tutting you softly, Taehyung already had a bite on a spoon, just before your lips. You turned away, hiding your cheek in Jimin's shoulder, too shy to take a bite.

„Babycheeks, baby, let Alpha help, ...sweetie; come on, be a good girl now, hm?” Quick to coax you out, the man plucked the bite right between your plush-like lips, smiling widely as you chewed.

„Hm... Is it good, sunny bub?” Hobi asked, running his palm over your head. He felt himself preening at the thought of you enjoying the food he made.

And you liked it; the spice was not too much for you, letting you enjoy the meal well. You nodded vigurously at the taste of chewy rice cakes and crispy bacon, a heavy combination.

The packmates made sure your cheeks wouldn't be left empty for any longer than necessary, keeping you well fed above themselves.

The most tasty bites were reserved for your tastebuds only, with the alpha pheromones wafting widely throughout the room.

Now that they had done what was necessary to your classmates, they were left with the aftermath of the sudden rage, worry, and protectiveness clouding their senses.

Warming you up between many blankets, the pack rested together, and the food soon finished. Handing you a water bottle lying around, Yoongi held it to your lips, not allowing you to drink fully by yourself.

Cooing at how well you swallowed, he praised you gently, patting your hair. „Good girl...” He whispered, smiling softly.

The alphas felt relief that you were once again safely tucked away in their arms, with no intruder able to harm you.

Looking at you fondly, the packalpha knew that he had to clear up some confusion regarding their next steps.

„Pup, let's talk now, okay? About what will happen now, baby... Listen to alphas explain for a little bit, my sweetest girl.” He said, sighing out before he continued.

Namjoon realised well that going all alpha against the teacher and classmates probably wasn't the best idea they had, but at the time and for the right reasons, it felt right.

He was still quite careful and reasonable, making sure none of the students or even the teacher would be harmed so much they would have harsh health issues in the future.

Things like smaller scars would keep the memories of their past mistakes fresh. The packmates didn't do much but threw a few punches here and there, mostly just wanting to make sure, nothing like that would ever happen again.

The pack alpha realised that some sort of police officer regarding pack affairs would probably knock on their pack house doors the upcoming morning, but he was more than ready to explain everything.

All of the pack members documents were well updated, and you didn't really need any yet since you weren't properly a part of the pack.

Until you get marked at least.

Your ID was well above enough, and he was sure you had some sort of identification tucked away somewhere in your wallet.

Namjoon knew that even if what they did was a bit drastic, it was absolutely reasonable and not even overreacting. Alphas get more protective if their own omegas are in harm's way.

„I don't think any of us will agree with you coming back to your college now; do you understand why, sweetheart? It's not safe for you, and alphas really really really don't like that, okay?”

With his packmates nodding along, a few of the men ran their fingers over you, softly shushing any questions you might have. Everything would be explained soon; you didn't have to worry about a thing now.

„Yea cub, it's really not good for you, okay? But I can imagine you still want to continue your studies, don't you?" The eldest asked, his hand resting against the back of your head.

You nodded quickly. Good education was the key to everything, and you loved art. If you got the chance to unlock the doors of new possibilities with it, you were more than interested.

„Okay, princess, that's a good thing, baby. I'm very proud of you.”

Jimin whispered in your ear, his chin running over your head in soft, gentle caresses. His scent went over you; the mixture of your natural aroma with his created a nice new mix.

„You could always try to go to a different school, babycheeks, but I think that isn't really the best solution." One of the younger alphas said, Your palm held in his while he watched you closely. 

„I don't think so either. Such stress isn't healthy for you, bunnybun; we can't have that now, can we?” Jungkook said, smiling to try and lift the mood a little.

„Absolutly not. I thought about online lessons instead; how about that kitten? Would you like that, hm?” Yoongi cooed at you, bopping your nose softly.

Thinking over the possibilities, you shrug your shoulders, not sure what it would really mean.

„I thought about that too. It would be a lot easier with our schedule, and it would be much more personal and professional.

I think you would also learn much more cub. And it should be less stressful too, since you would never have to be with so many new people again." Namjoon said, coaxing you to gently nod. You weren't fully sure yet, but you trusted them a lot, and they valued that even more.

„I'm not sure yet oppa... But I can try. I think online classes would be a bit better too, as long as I have some sort of studio I can still visit for all the things I need.” You said.

You never had an easy time making new friends, and so school with so many different people often caused issues and unreasonable stress.

Art school especially could be quite nerve-wracking, and the alphas realised that well. They wanted to make sure you wouldn't drop like that again, prevention was key.

Smiling widely at you, Hobi felt his mood lift a bit. „Thank you so much sunshine... Alpha will set up everything for you; you don't have to worry about a thing. Our small baby can just rest her pretty eyes.”

You felt yourself blush a little, turning your gaze away from the alpha. Laughing even louder, he ran his fingers over your ankles softly, your legs stretched out over his lap.

„I'll look up some teachers later, okay, pup? You can choose of course my baby. How about we watch some movies for now? I thought we could go to the mall later; how bout that?”

The alphas realised well that you needed a few necessities, like some new clothes like different undergarments. You didn't pack that many the few nights before.

„Oh, and also, I called with one of the doctors for omegas, sweetheart; I'll make you an appointment soon, okay? The medicine your older doctor gave you isn't good for you, pup.”

„If you want to take the heat suppressants, you can cub, that is your thing to decide upon. But still, you should have a check up. It's important to have those regularly.”

Namjoon and Jin said, your palm caressed between his. Smiling at you reassuringly when he smelled anxiousness go through your scent, the alphas surrounding you were quick to step in, making sure you knew that you were safe and sound.

„Sh-sh-sh, babycheks, don't fret little baby. Alpha is here, right here."

„No princess, don't worry. Alphas are here now, and you don't need to be scared, baby.”

„That's right, peaches, don't be afraid of anything. Doctors aren't scary cubs, and we will be there the whole time; how about that?”

„...hm? Of course, bunbun, if you want to, I'll hold your hand the entire time; of course, alpha will. You are such a good girl, aren't you?”

„Yes, kitty, you can sit on oppa's lap too if you'll feel like it. You can always sit on alpha's lap, my kitten.”

 ⋆·˚ ༘ *ੈ✩‧₊˚˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚˚ ✩‧₊˚⋆·˚ ༘ *

A/N: okay, I'll be honest. I'm not so sure how I feel about the violence in this chapter, I'm not fully sure. I understand that a lot of you feel angry at the classmates for being unfair and mean to the MC, but I don't fully like how I wrote this.

I don't think everything is understandable well, since the pack dynamics overall are just like that in my story and I hope it's to no one's issue.

I don't want this to be a yandere themed story!

I might edit parts of it though, so if it changes a bit, please don't be worried.

Lots of love, take care of yourself :)

Next:

[gardenschedule]

just came across your excellent post of quotes about the lennon-mccartney rivalry! there's sooooooo much to unpack there, but i was especially struck by your tags and hoping you could say more:

paul thrived with someone to compete against but it hurt john a lot and seemed to wear him down#i personally believe it's the number 1 cause of the breakdown of their relationship and the breakup itself#because it lead to john stacking his deck with allies like yoko and klein and looking for his own niches to succeed in without paul there

Well that's just my armchair psychoanalysis of John haha, I think he had some seriously debilitating (and mostly unwarranted) insecurities in general and particularly in regards to Paul. Their rivalry was always present but as long as their relationship was in a good place, they were working closely together and John could consider himself top dog, it was a positive motivating force for both of them and they could share the glory. But then Paul became increasingly independent (musically, artistically and socially), started churning out A-sides at a pace John struggled to match, and competing with Paul stopped being fun and was more of a source of unhappiness and stress. Then something happened (in India or around that time) that caused him to feel worthless and humiliated, while Paul was just fine, recently engaged, etc. If you're John Lennon and you've developed an inferiority complex along with a fear of being left behind or surpassed, what do you do? You strengthen your position with people like Yoko (a stalker with artistic cred who was willing to spend every moment with him) and Klein (a John guy who flattered him and made it clear he saw John as the boss), so you've got security and support. You free yourself from the pressure to compete with Paul in music by finding different ways to stand out, like politics and art. Then you're in a position where you don't need Paul and you don't need to beat him. You try to get some power back by provoking him with Yoko related antics and threatening a divorce you don't necessarily plan to follow through on - all he has to do to get you back is submit to your demands, then you have your top dog status back and you know he loves you enough to give you that. After all, when Ringo quit he got wooed back with flowers. When George quit, he got enough leverage to make changes to how they worked. But instead, Paul retreats to Scotland, inadvertently announces the breakup, then sues you. So you publicly rage about it and are deeply hurt for the rest of your life, even thought he technically just gave you what you asked for. Few journalists or authors bother to question this and just accept that you were too good for the Beatles and were bored by them and that's why the group broke up. The end.

Anyway hope that all made sense <3

[pix3lplays]

I'm still so sorry about sending in that request, but could we maybe have some other hcs of yan sunday? Or, if you do Blade or dan heng, one of them please.

Also, have a good day!

It’s totally okay, I know it wasn’t on purpose so it doesn’t bother me at all! I actually have this Sunday thing in my drafts- not necessarily yandere but I think it could be interpreted as such, please have this!

And thank you, I appreciate it!! Have a nice day as well~

Cw mean Mr. Sunday, public humiliation, manipulation, kinda yandere? He’s mostly just mean

-Mean Sunday x reader-

We’ve established that this man is manipulative, and he WILL use manipulation tactics on you too. ESPECIALLY you, really. You’re very important to him and he HAS to keep you in line somehow.

He’s subtle about it. Little things like displaying his wealth to you, treating you to the finer things in life, his way of reminding you of all the things you have only because you’re with him.

Where he’s not very subtle is when you’re selecting an outfit for the day. He’ll straight-up let you know, “oh, no don’t wear that, it looks terrible on you,” while he finds you something more suitable. It’s weird because his voice is SO soft and gentle but he just said you look awful in one of your favorite shirts- I guess it makes sense that he worries about how his partner dresses, given how important his public image is but really?? It’s not like you’re trying to embarrass him or anything, and your taste surely isn’t THAT bad. He’s just MEAN-

He’s very much a “let me do the talking” kind of man when the two of you are in public but…where’s the fun in that?? You wanna talk too-

He gives you little subtle warnings, like squeezing your hand a little tighter. But if you just keep going?

He’ll get a little grouchy. He says something that embarrasses you and shuts you up for the rest of the evening.

Get mad at him when the two of you get home, he’ll act like he has No Idea what you’re talking about. He thought the two of you had a Very pleasant evening.

Eventually it gets to the point where you don’t like going out with him. But his public image is on the line-

If he starts making appearances without you, people are going to think his marriage is in jeopardy and he can’t have that for Obvious reasons-

He seems to not understand that Yeah-his marriage IS in jeopardy-he’s way too mean to you for you to feel happy in this relationship.

He does take it very seriously at least when you start saying that you’re unhappy in your marriage.

He listens to you, tries to understand your point of view and…he’ll try to improve. For you. He doesn’t WANT to be a mean husband, it’s just his controlling nature clouding his judgement.

I think he would genuinely try to be kinder to you, but he still has his moments where you can’t believe just how casually MEAN the angelic man can be-

[phoenixyfriend]

Was watching a ContraPoints video (popular trans lady YouTuber) on some gender philosophy and got to thinking about trans girl Ani nuances.

OKAY SO: Contrapoints makes a comment in the video (transcript here) that she views herself as a boy who became a woman, not a girl who didn't realize it yet, which is a relatively uncommon approach among trans people, and that's in the middle of a longer discussion on the flaws in radfem theology (which I watched right after this PhilosophyTube video, and accidentally conflated the two since the former talked a lot about systems/structures of gender).

Anyway, I'm rotating that in my mind with regards to Anakin, who grew up in a setting that could easily be interpreted as having a much foggier distinction between Man and Woman than between Slave and Maste,r or human and twilek, etc.

It's entirely feasible that, on Tatooine in particular, the social elements of gender came down to very practical concerns (reproduction) and very superficial signs (e.g. hairstyle could maybe broadcast intended gender, and who wears skirts) outside of the specific situation of highly gendered and sexual forms of slavery (Jabba's dancing girls), which was relatively rare compared to more standard forms, like shop work or janitorial or what have you.

So you have an Anakin who grew up in a setting where "am I a girl?" isn't necessarily a question that would have the same answer as in another setting with more defined gender distinctions, in terms of both expression and role, and of the matter of identity at that confluence.

Then he--still he, at that time--meets Padmé and the handmaidens (very feminine, very girl, but not in a way that's at all like the way women on Tatooine willingly engage with), and encounters Coruscant culture (lots of gender dynamics due to the culture mash, but a low-key Western Misogyny vibe in the Senate and other non-Jedi settings Anakin's liable to encounter), as well as the Jedi classes on gender and sexuality and respecting/navigating those parts of culture on other planets.

As a result, Anakin starts developing a new, more nuanced and expansive understanding of gender, where it's more than just a few small differences, and the people around are mostly Jedi, who are also pretty dang open to nontraditional gender approaches etc And Anakin sort of… grows into wanting to be woman? In a way that isn't the usual "I always knew I was a girl" and more of an "I've learned what people consider a girl, and I'd like to be one."

And like. Ani COULD go back to thinking of gender in Tatooine terms, but why bother? Being a girl makes her happy. She wasn't unhappy as a boy in that gender framework, but she's happy as a girl now.

But because she didn't mind being raised a boy, she might say things a "when I was a boy" or "back when I was still living as a boy"

Me every time I hear a new, interesting take on gender: How can I apply this to a fictional character?

Also tbf this settles pretty well with my general thoughts on nb Anakin as well, where gender is like… It Sure Is A Thing That Exists. Anyway, Where's The Blasterfire?

[thejujvtsupost]

Smitten: The Best For Me

This was requested almost immediately after the first part was released. I’m still working on current requests but you can see whether or not I’m accepting more in my bio! Feel free to send an ask otherwise too! Share your thoughts with me, let’s brain rot together. <3

Notes: F!reader, fluff, developing relationships, sorcerers have soulmates/soulbonds, making it official.

Living with Gojo was hard to adjust to. You didn’t have to cook or clean despite wanting to pull your weight.

“Baby you can’t even walk right now and you shouldn’t be worried about it anyway. Your only job is to keep resting and getting better.” You weren’t used to having someone take care of you. You were on your own so young, struggled to make it for the last twenty-something years of your life, and not having to worry about the basics was new.

He would leave for work in the morning with a kiss on your forehead and a reminder to text him if you needed anything at all. You were still learning about the jujutsu world, about soul bonds and what he was, who he was- the strongest sorcerer alive and a teacher to a group of really great kids he cared about.

Oh, and apparently you weren’t the only one who loved his eyes- whatever. You’d be the one who loved them the most then. He kept them covered while out but didn’t bother as often around you.

Of course he was prone to headaches because of them, though. You learned he really enjoyed a nice nap when he got a migraine, he was resistant at first but you encouraged him to take a break. As soon as you ran your fingers through his hair, he was knocked out. You were a calming presence to him. It was one of his favorite pastimes now.

Every evening, sometimes night, when he came home he greets you with a kiss on your cheek instead of your forehead. He’s been very quiet about the nature of your relationship but cuddling and actual kisses between the two of you were very common.

He was scared to bring it up, what if you wanted something different? He knew you had mutual feelings for him but you just didn’t necessarily know that your feelings were real. You fell for him so hard and quick that it gave you whiplash, but it was valid. He didn’t want to rush you and risk scaring you away with too much commitment so soon. There was no one else for him, you were the best there is.

Two weeks passed before it came up again. You were worried he was unhappy to be stuck with you- a non sorcerer who couldn’t fend for themselves. When you brought it up again, hard as it was with your own fear, he was a mess.

“Satoru, are you sure you’re… happy? I know I don’t know a lot about your society yet but I know I’m probably not- well not what you expected or maybe wanted to be stuck with…”

“Baby what the hell are you talking about? Of course I’m happy with you- where did you get the idea I wasn’t?” He sounded frantic.

“You haven’t mentioned being together so I thought maybe you might not want to and just wanted to be casual or something-” your voice was small, you might’ve misunderstood the situation.

“I didn’t want to rush you into anything, you’re still learning and everything is new and you’re probably not ready for-”

“Oh my god shut up ‘toru.” You leaned in and kissed him to settle his worries.

He broke the kiss first, still urgent, “be mine?”

“Obviously, don’t you know I already am?” He kissed you so deeply after that.

He was panting when he broke away again- to your annoyance. Was it a crime to wanna kiss your new boyfriend or something? “Are you sure? You know I’ll still look out for you no matter what.”

His life was dangerous, but you knew he protect you against everything. You were safe wherever he was, and you wanted to be right by his side regardless.

“Stop preventing me from kissing my boyfriend and kiss me back, idiot.” You sounded too fond for his heart to handle. So you instead of waiting for a reply while his brain buffered, you shut him up again with another kiss, soothing away his worries.

Prev <- Index -> Next

Thinking about making a request? Check my bio to see if they’re open! <3

[candyhoiic]

Edit: this was way longer than intended

TW this holds like the tiniest amount of suggestiveness as I briefly go over procreation/sex but it's nothing in depth. I only added it since a big part of eden lore is basically cannon Adam being a dick about wanting to be dominant in everything including sex. Spoiler alert he's not a dick about it in this au.

Back with more Adam switching places with Lilith au thoughts that no one asked for <3333 This time I wanted to focus more on their time in Eden and the dynamic between Adam and Lilith.

Since it's said that Lilith and Adam were both made to be equals being made from the same dust I imagine they would have pretty similar personalities at least at the beginning. With them both having dominant personalities, the two would quickly drift apart with them constantly clashing together. I.e. they're naming a deer and Adam wants to call it a buck while Lilith thinks the name doe would fit it better, but frankly neither of them wants to submit to the other so they just keep on arguing. Which eventually leads them to just going behind each other's backs, causing deers and most animals to have two different names based on their sex.

This would continue to carry on until there were no more animals to name, but then it would start all over again when it came to naming foods, and it's quite clear they just don't work well together. So, they eventually come to a mutual agreement to just leave one another alone. And for the most part it works with the two of them just kind of sticking to their own pieces of Eden. I.e. Lilith favoring the beaches while Adam was partial to the more shaded parts of the garden.

However, this doesn’t work forever since eventually the seraphim come back down and ultimately ruin it all. For the first time in ages, the angels call out for them to express their confusion on why the two have yet to even attempt to procreate. This causes them to both play it off as just not getting around to it, and while the seraphims seem to accept their excuse at face value, they still do basically tell them to get a move on. Saying how it's in god's plan that the two of them populate Eden. While Sera even cryptically mentions how if they don't then they'll need to come up with something else.

Safe to say the both of them are a little scared about what will happen if they fail their purpose, causing them to once again attempt in getting along with each other. Although just like before, the two butt heads constantly, and eventually they come up with the bright idea that they don't necessarily need to like each other to have sex. So, they decide to just give up on interacting with one another outside of what was necessary.

Only to also realize they cannot agree on anything in the bedroom either. The position? Who's on top? Fuck that if one of them can't be on the top than neither of them can!

(Or at least Adam was in denial)

Which leads to pretty unsatisfying sex but they do, do their purpose so really the seraphims can't get mad at them. Although this new cycle leaves both Adam and Lilith in even worser moods than before, which is why Lucifer even comes into the picture to begin with.

See the seraphims might not do much, but they do periodically check in on Adam and Lilith with an all seeing orb. Similar to one used to watch Angel Dust during the trial Charlie has with Heaven. So during these periodic check-ins, they notice how Lilith and Adam are unhappy in Eden, and in an attempt to alleviate this they assign Lucifer to go down there to basically keep them both happy. They make this decision partly due to Lucifer being known as god's morning star, making him more than qualified to lighten up the mood. But also because they're tired of Lucifer constantly wreaking havoc in heaven's order with his bouts of creativity. So, they see it as hitting two birds with one stone.

Even if Sera was a little hesitant to do so, considering there's a chance Lucifer will cause just as much havoc with his creativity in the garden if not more. However, the others argue that he would be too busy keeping Lilith and Adam both happy to do much mischief, if any at all. Ultimately, the latter argument won out.

So, Lucifer is now assigned to the garden, and over all his introduction is taken well by both Adam and Lilith. The two of them actually getting along enough to stand being near each other for once. At least while Lucifer was there to keep them both preoccupied. The two being very curious about the seraphim after all.

And through all three of them spending time together I can actually see both Adam and Lilith becoming more tolerant of each other until dare I say it they actually start to like each other. Not enough to love each other as they were intended to, but they basically were those types of friends that only became friends because they had a mutual friend, who in this case is Lucifer.

During these times, Lucifer introduced the first humans to music with Lilith taking to singing while Adam seemed to favor using instruments, specifically string ones. Imagine a cute moment with all three of them just creating music together <333

Now of course there are still times Adam and Lilith can't stand each other, which leads to days where Lucifer has to spend time with them separately. During one of these times, Lucifer may or may not have created ducks, and had Adam name them so they would be a thing because ducks are the greatest and it was a crime that they weren't a thing already!

So, yeah small duck lore they weren't actually meant to exist lmao and Adam was the one to suggest their weird corkscrew penises so blame Adam for that one. Also, blame Lucifer for thinking listening to him was a good idea. When Lilith found out she wasn't impressed.

And just to be fair to Lilith when she and Lucifer spent time alone they probably went to the beach mainly. They had water fights started by Lucifer, but Lilith wasn't about to not retaliate after he got her soaked. Honestly slay

Anyways when Lucifer wasn't around because even he had a life outside of them, and went back to heaven at the end of each day. The two were reminded of their other purposes besides just tending to the garden. Which was the only real time Adam and Lilith weren't happy/at each other's throats. When they had to do the do neither of them ever came away happy from it despite their relationship being arguably better ever since Lucifer came.

And since it was basically Lucifer's job to keep them happy, he could pick up on their moods relatively well. So, eventually he put two and two together, and was like hey they were both happy when I left them, but once I came back they were upset so clearly something must have happened.

So, he asks them both what was wrong, but neither of them seem keen on talking about it with him because if there was one thing these two had in common it was their stubbornness. Safe to say, he didn’t get his answer for quite awhile until eventually it comes out, and well Lucifer's job is to keep them both happy. He would also be lying if he said he didn't see them both as attractive so he made them both an offer. He was already their buffer in everything else so why couldn't he be their buffer in sex too.

Understandably, the offer was shocking and while both were tempted, they were also unsure. Whenever the other seraphims mentioned procreation it was always strictly between Lilith and Adam, man and women. They never mentioned that the act could have a third participant or that it was appropriate for a man to lay with another man. So, they didn't outright decline the offer, but they didn't accept it either. As neither of them wanted to bring forth the wrath of the other angels or god. Instead, the three just kind of acted like nothing was said for a while. Although the offer was fresh in all of their minds.

Lucifer was most likely freaking out in his head being like I really just suggested that?! What was I thinking, I made everything so much more awkward, didn’t I?! While Adam was having a crisis over even being slightly open to the idea of laying with someone that presented male, and Lilith was probably the most level headed.

She wouldn't necessarily be like yeah lets do this right away, but she would definitely see the pros to accepting this arrangement and notice how the cons didn't really outweigh them. Probably would go through the whole scenario and rationalize why it really was for the best that they accepted the arrangement. Before she would do it all over again because she was still scared of upsetting any higher power like any normal human would be and wanted to make sure she was making the right decision.

So, after a lot of consideration and even more panicking, the three eventually agreed to the arrangement. With Lilith being the first to come to this conclusion followed by Lucifer and finally Adam. Although at first, Lucifer would just be there to talk them through it, coming up with solutions to their problems, basically playing mediator while never actually intervening in a physical manner.

Then, when that was well received, and after he was encouraged by both parties to get more involved Lucifer would start to touch Lilith while they were intimate, but still nothing too invasive. He would only touch when necessary to ensure everything ran smoothly. He wouldn't yet lay a hand on Adam because the guy was still kind of antsy over having another man present during intercourse. Period.

Although that wouldn't last for too long with Adam's jealousy winning over his initial gay panic, and eventually Lucifer would have free range to guide both of them in a physical, non-invasive manner. I.e. he would put his hand on one of their hips to get them to thrust in rhythm with each other instead of fighting over who was setting the pace.

From there, they would eventually become more comfortable with the whole arrangement and Lucifer would slowly become more of a participant rather than just a buffer.

This arrangement would notably work better for everyone, and their dynamic would probably become the healthiest it's been.

A/N: Surely, nothing could ruin this. Surely...

Just kidding! Something definitely did mwahaha but that's for another post because this is already too long vfgyusdjzs

Anyways thanks for reading this all if you did lol! I'm not really expecting anyone to, but I appreciate it all the same <33

Previous post

[rootsofdread]

Hello! While I had intended to place my second request when my first one was completed, I'm worried you'll close your asks before then, so here we go. A gender neutral reader who steals the killer's melee weapons. It's not a one off thing, no, it's something they do all the time. They grab it and run. I'll leave what killers to you, I want to be surprised, but please do two if you have the time. Sincerely, a wolf.

did three for ya, wolf! :-D

Evan MacMillan / The Trapper:

Evan had lodged his cleaver into a tree to set up some traps unencumbered, he knew he’d be unhappy if he ran into one of the survivors without it, but he figured it was the best way to do it quickly. A little while later, he came back to find it had been ripped out of the bark. The tracks in the dirt were still fresh, he knew you had to have only recently taken it. He huffed. He knew it was a mistake to leave it behind, now one of you has taken it…bear trap in hand, he sets off to find where you’d run off to. He found you almost halfway across the grounds using his cleaver to hack down a wall. His hand twitched.

He’s already an angry man, and taking his weapon just makes him angry. It’s a quick way to set him off rampaging through the grounds slaughtering anyone in his path simply to find where you’ve gone with it. He finds a way without his cleaver, you’ve seen it first-hand. Fortunately, with his weapon, you’re able to do a moderate amount of defending yourself and your teammates — until he grabs you by the collar of your shirt and stares deep into your soul, disapprovingly.

Even though he gets angry, he feels like he has to admire your fighting spirit when you decide to use his own weapon against him. You remind him of himself, in a weird way…and in an even weirder way, he likes that. You’d think he’d come to hate you for taking his things, but it’s quite the opposite.

Max Thompson, Jr. / The Hillbilly:

The first time you’d done it, Max had only set his chainsaw down for a second to throw somebody on a hook. He didn’t even know anyone else was lurking around. When he turned to pick it back up, it was gone. At first, he thought he must’ve misremembered where he put it. He doesn’t have the best memory, and it’s happened before…until he saw you running around in the distance with something clutched in your hand that didn’t look like anything you were supposed to have. He didn’t immediately register that it was his chainsaw, but when he did…to say he was furious would be an understatement.

After this, he’s a little more careful about where he puts his chainsaw and when he puts it there. He checks around corners before setting it down to make sure you’re not hiding nearby to swipe it. Sometimes, you don’t, and he’s relieved that he doesn’t have to chase you down to get it back. Unfortunately, most of the time you do end up getting your hands on it one way or another; he’d be willing to throw away the entire trial just to get it back and throw you on a hook for inconveniencing him.  

He doesn’t appreciate your thievery, but sometimes, he does seem to appreciate having someone to run around with. Nobody else cares much for him; and even though he doesn’t read your stealing as caring, necessarily, you’re still spending time around him, and going out of your way to do so. Some part of him almost, in a way, finds it sweet that you’re doing this.

Talbot Grimes / The Blight:

Talbot had accidentally thrown his cane a ways away once when trying to rush at someone. Miraculously, the hit had landed, but he had no idea where the Bonebuster had gone off to. He glanced around as he carried them over to a hook, trying to see the glint of the top in the moonlight; instead, in it’s place where it had landed, he saw you brandishing it and grinning. The second you realized he was staring at you, you bolted away with it. He cursed at you. He needs that, you insolent twerp, give it back! He immediately threw his victim on the ground and rushed after you.

You’d be surprised how often his cane slips out of his hand, and how many opportunities you have to snag it. Sometimes, he even thinks he’s safe setting it down for just a moment to replenish his energy with his serum. You take every chance you get, and he’s angry every single time, without fail. He’s not one for colorful language, he is a scientist, and a gentleman, after all, but it comes out when he’s running after you. Most of the time, you catch the giggling of other survivors as he curses at you. It’s so unlike him.

That said, he seems to have a strange admiration for your boldness, your courage, your willingness to push the limits and the buttons of himself and, as far as he can assume, other killers. No one else is quite as brave as you are, stealing his weapon and getting close enough to do so, for that, he feels he has to give you credit. He may even be compelled to run experiments: exactly how close are you willing to get?

[azurlily]

Day 2 of 31 of the yandere month May challenge. This yandere is sadistic and has sadistic tendencies so DARK FUCKING THEMES.

Kirari forces you to marry her and you have a mental breakdown.(this is considered only angst because while it does imply that she cares for you after the breakdown, it isnt specifically talked about.)

Yandere!Kirari Momobami ANGST

How, just how did this happen? You were supposed to live out your life like any other person. Like any other average Joe, but no. No, you didn't get those privileges.

Not with her around. Kirari and you were somewhat good friends. She'd taken an interest in you after you wont in a gamble against her, you thought she'd leave you alone after she had her fun.

Of course, you were wrong. Instead Kirari watched, she watched from the shadows and looked into you. She wanted to know everything about her future wife/partner. She needed to know everything about you.

When she saw an opportunity to take you as her bride. She had seen your debt was rising, and you had become a house pet with no way to pay it back.

She took full advantage of this while she could, she played with you, and your feelings. Hot and cold, sweet and sour, soft and rough. Kirari wants to see all of you, not some facade, the real you.

While that may sound sweet, the main reason she wanted to see the real you was because she could manipulate you easier. It had been your last year of school and while Kirari and gotten you away from being a house pet every other year. This one was different.

I'd she helped you she couldn't make you a life plan. She couldn't make you hers. So she payed a few people to coerce you into a gamble and make you lose it all. You ran back to her and she told you that she wasn't going to save you this time.

You knew it was inevitable, but you didn't want to believe it. You tried, you tried everything but no one was willing to gamble you, or help you. You were stuck, stuck in a limbo of self pity, and hatred. You knew a life plan was possible, but you hope Kirari wouldn't do that to you.

Kirari called you into her office around the last month of school. She wanted to set the record straight. She could see you were pulling away from her, she was no idiot. She hated it though, hated that you didn't come and randomly visit her just so you could eat lunch together. Hated that you didn't beg her to go out with you to a park and just have a relaxing day.

She hated it all, she hated that you didn't rely on her anymore. She had(and does have) every intention to force you to fulfill her needs. Not necessarily sexual ones, but the ones that made her feel less lonely. She is human, no matter how much she wishes to deny it. She does need an anchor to tether her, and you, oh you, you're the perfect anchor.

Kirari had decided the blunt option was best, she had every intention to "make it up to you" later. That could wait though.

"Oh good, you're here. Oh, you're looking worse for wear. Are you okay, darling?"

She knew the answer, but seeing you helpless for her made things so much more fun. She loves the idea of seeing you cry.(in every way.)

She smiles as you look away, you know she knows. You just don't know she's the cause for it all. That's what that day was all about. She had everything planned out, an entire schedule ready. Kirari hoped you would take this well; emotions can be so messy.

"So, let's talk. I know about your debt, and I know you're unhappy I haven't paid it off...but I do have a reason for this. I want you to be my bride, and I'm not taking no as an answer. You may speak now."

That was it, that's all she needed to say. I mean, there is more to that story, but she'd prefer to tell you all that when you more prepared.

You stared at her for a moment, maybe two, or maybe even three. You wanted to hear the words "joke", you hoped she'd start laughing, but no. Instead you got her usual indifferent look.

You wanted to cry, I mean, that's fair. Right? You'd been through hell, the system here hurts people who have a debt, and you couldn't even pay it back. You were stuck, and she thought the best way to make you love her was...this?

Your first reaction is to cry, or maybe not. Maybe you try to hold in your tears, you try to not think about all the horrible things written on your desk, all the horrible things students have done to you. Guys in the school have forced you naked only to laugh at your body, girls were no different. They'd eight horrible things about you and spread rumors.

It was hell, your own personal hell. You broke down, you were crying and when Kirari tried to put her hand out. You slapped it. She didn't doesn't deserve to touch you. Instead she stood there, and watched, she knew what the students had done, it was a part of her plan after all.

Break you down, bit by bit. Make things easier for her. She would and has given the students hell for their misdeeds, and she intends to make things up to you. When your ready that it.

"I see you have no intention of calming down. While usually I'd leave you alone I'll be sitting at my desk until your breathing returns to normal. Apparently people tend to do...things in situations like these and I cant have that."

Essentially she's saying if you tried to off yourself, or hurt yourself. She'd be there to stop you. She knows she's the villain in your story, and your her so called victim. She loves it though, loves seeing you cry.

After about thirty minutes you had stopped crying. Now all you wanted to do was take a long, long, long nap. You started to doze off when you felt a cold hand on your face.

"Ah, look whose calmed down. Now, now, don't start those tears again. Oh, and you're crying...hm."

She moves down and gently kisses your lips. It was short and sweet, it would have been sweeter if not for the hand digging into your chin. She wanted you to know there is no escape.

She smiles, it looked gentle and somewhat kind, but you were no idiot. Maybe you were, just a bit. Although you could see right through her now. She let's go of your chin and you fall back.

"Maybe it is best to leave you in here. I'll be back with things to calm you down. For now though."

She walked to where the light switch was, turned it off. Leaving you in inky darkness, she closed and locked the door. She wanted to see how long you'd last before you came crying back to her. In need of comfort.

"I'll see you soon."

[theflyindutchwoman]

Something that bothered me in S5a was the lack of balance between Lucy's and Tim's path to each other.

Tim seemed very into Ashley, could see himself married to her, while Lucy was keeping Chris at arms length and being jealous of Tim.

In Lucy's breakup episode, the whole episode was about her being unhappy with Chris, because he wasn’t Tim. It was all about Tim.

While in Tim's breakup episode, he was shown doing good with Ashley, indulging her, being affectionate, kissing her (Lucy and Chris never got a kiss scene.) Ashley broke up with him and Lucy was never a factor. Then next episode Tim is moping over Ashley.

It bothers me that Tim was always Lucy's first choice, that she was clearly unhappy without him, while Lucy didn't seem to be Tim's first choice, that he would be perfectly fine if he just kept dating Ashley.

I would like to hear your thoughts on this. You're a reasonable and sensible person, maybe you can show me a different perspective.

Well, this is definitely a tall order! But I can certainly try. Just keep in mind that this is of course only my perspective, and that it has no more value than yours. Disclaimer : this is going to be a really long lost, so let's buckle up and break this down point by point, shall we?

Tim seemed very into Ashley, could see himself married to her, while Lucy was keeping Chris at arms length and being jealous of Tim. So here's the thing : I don't think that Tim was completely into Ashley, so this probably colors my perception of everything else. I'm not gonna write an essay on this but let's just say the fact that he was ready to risk it all by coming in Lucy's apartment after Vegas spoke volume on how he felt about his girlfriend… Now do I think he liked Ash? Yes, absolutely. But he was just as guilty of keeping her at arm's length, only in a different way than Lucy's (and they both had valid reasons for doing that). We never saw him reveal anything too personal with her. If she didn't know he got shot, I seriously doubt she knew anything about his other scars either - physical and emotional. I'm also not sure if Tim could truly see himself married to Ashley… For one, he looked rather taken aback when Lucy brought up the subject. And that's the irony here : if it hadn't been for her meddling, I don't think he would have even considered the possibility of marriage just yet. Also note that he only said that after Lucy kept insisting. After a long silence! Not exactly the most enthusiastic answer. Now when he talked about it with Ash, he did look sad and disappointed by her answer… before he bounced right back by fake proposing to get back at Lucy. And to me, that says a lot. Because if he was seriously considering this, I doubt he would have been able to joke about it right after being told it wouldn't be in the cards. He might be good at deflecting, but not that good and not that fast.

In Lucy's breakup episode, the whole episode was about her being unhappy with Chris, because he wasn’t Tim. It was all about Tim. Not exactly though. At least, not at first. She didn't look unhappy at the beginning of the episode. That was the point. Lucy needed someone with whom she could talk things out so she could figure it out and Tim gave her the space for that. But I don't think she had necessarily connected all the dots just yet : as insightful as she is, she can be terrible at recognising her own feelings. We saw it several times in the past. And like she said, she was trying to understand WHY she didn't want to take this next step with Chris. This was a genuine question from her. I always saw her "he's not…" reaction as her final light bulb moment. As in she had finally put all the pieces together. Which is we didn't see them in the shop after that and why in the next conversation, the one in the parking lot, she made it all about Tim. Because suddenly, she was able to pinpoint the issue at hand. Chris became irrelevant from that point forward. This was no longer about him : it was all about her relationship with Tim and how she didn't want to ruin it.

While in Tim's breakup episode, he was shown doing good with Ashley, indulging her, being affectionate, kissing her (Lucy and Chris never got a kiss scene.) Ashley broke up with him and Lucy was never a factor. Then next episode Tim is moping over Ashley. I agree that he was indulging her. Which is something he did a lot with her. And that's not a good thing, not when it's one sided. But in this particular instance, he was also trying to come to terms with the fact that he might end up with some form of paralysis. Still, he only entertained her for a short while. The second she was getting seriously excited about her plans, he told her to slow her roll because it was just that : an indulgence. And when he woke up for surgery, he confirmed he wasn't going to give it more thoughts. I haven't rewatched the episode since then, but I don't recall them being that affectionate so I can't comment on it. Even the kiss : not only did we see more passion from him when he was with Rachel, we also saw how he loves going back for more with Lucy. And since we almost got a scene of Lucy and Chris in bed in 5.03 (the director cut it due to time restraint), I'm not sure if it was supposed to show how much more committed Tim was.

As for why Lucy wasn't a factor in the breakup… At that point, why would she? As far as Tim was concerned, Lucy was still with Chris and apparently not interested in him. When he wanted to talk about how it didn't feel like pretend, he got shut down. Don't get me wrong, I don't blame her because the timing and phrasing could have been better. But the fact remains that she stayed with Chris. So I can see how he would want to stay with Ashley, if he couldn't be with her. Should he have broken up? Yes, the moment he decided to cross that line, that should have been his clue (for both of them actually). But I also get the impulse to stay. Was it fair? No. But that's human nature for you. And let's be real, when you're dumped by your girlfriend following a major surgery, while you're still feeling the effects of anesthesia, I think you're allowed to mope a bit. Even if the writing was on the wall, breaking up is rarely fun. And he didn't just mope because of Ashley : his longing look when Lucy left with Chris just showed that it was more than that. The only reason we didn't see Lucy mope around was because she jumped into a new relationship straight away. Tim didn't have that. Which is also why he was the first one to be single : it was his turn to pine after Lucy. It was a mirror to that scene in 5.21, when Lucy thought he was proposing. I'd have to check but I think it was practically at the exact same spot : in the parking lot, right in front of the main entrance.

It bothers me that Tim was always Lucy's first choice, that she was clearly unhappy without him, while Lucy didn't seem to be Tim's first choice, that he would be perfectly fine if he just kept dating Ashley. Except that if we go by this, Tim wasn't Lucy's first choice either : she stayed with Chris. Even after finding out Tim was single. If Chris hadn't opened his mouth and hadn't pushed her to buy a house, she probably would have kept dating him as well for a while longer. Tim was merely following his cues from Lucy. He only made his move once he realised she was unhappy with Chris. And even then, his priority was her happiness. They were each other's first choice : that's what made it so scary. Tim stayed with Ashley because he thought Lucy rejected him. And Lucy stayed because she was afraid to lose Tim. Ashley and Chris were, for a want of a better word, the consolation prize. Tim and Lucy didn't want to risk losing what they had, but had no problem gambling with their respective relationships when she invited him in...

Ta-Dam! We made it to the end... I promise it tried to keep it short (kind of failed). So those are my main thoughts and perspective on the topic. And again, it might be different but it doesn't make yours any less valid.

[factorialsotherfandoms]

Initial thoughts on QSMP egg cookies (obviously both the system and thoughts will develop over time) (I am somewhere between a crow and a very confused rat, I am biased to certain eggs in certain ways, and I've really been enjoying stuff characters have been up to without the eggs - particularly Phil, but also Pac and Fit dungeon dates - so I was hoping the number of days needed would be reduced so the players could change without eggs to do personal lore or go exploring or building or whatever and the like. I am biased, it's not quite 7am and I was up til gone midnight before I gave up on the streams, disclaimer disclaimed):

Both the concept and the UI are adorable. Especially those happiness bars that's so cute. Can be a bit dark given they're Federation cookies, but it's still very cute.

3 cookies available a day for total of 9 cookies in principle makes it the same as before, buuut if a task is shitty or egg parents are a bit pressed for time they can split it over the week. 9 tasks (presumably) a week is better than 5 a day for 3 days in terms of CCs being able to pace themselves. Especially if there's shit day like the grappling squark day way back.

Cookies can presumably be saved week to week, which is also helpful.

Eggs not needing to be online to do the tasks helpful! Just gotta get online to eat the cookies.

I don't think tasks like "attend an event" or "visit a friend" can work on the new system and that's extremely sad. Maybe it can, but the handing in seems important. Purgatory did have the kills, buuuut going places doesn't have an easy server insides like murder does.

The half points for non-parents is really sad? I actually love babysitting streams and this is going to discourage them so hard. It's also going to cause problems if someone like Fit or Philza or BBH or Foolish ever goes away. Because that's then 6 days to keep each of their eggs alive. 18 cookies.

Limited number of cookies a week is going to cause problems. We know there's an irl meetup at the end of the year. I severely doubt there will be enough people on the server to get 60 cookies (itll be somewhere between 30 and 60, because non-parents only count for half), and I also doubt enough will have been saved up by then. Forcing someone to choose which of the other parents eggs live and die is horrific, and there is no option for them to just spend time grinding the tasks for the other eggs. Also if someone gets sick or something or their computer dies and can't stream? There's not necessarily stuff saved up to help.

Having to save up cookies means no more getting to Friday, seeing egg with no ticks, and grinding Friday-Saturday-Sunday. If you're looking after someone else's egg you now have to start Tuesday, and it's only possible if you don't have your own or you have a backlog. Which nobody does yet. Which sucks because who doesnt love to see a hundred eggies trailing after BBH (or Tazercraft as I recall happened for twitchcon France) while everyone else is at twitchcon?

Tallulah is going to discuss with the other admins her circumstances. So I'll hold speaking about her and Chayanne in terms of future stuff (and I didnt watch to the end of Phil's stream today so I dont know if he gave them the cookies or what, Tallulah did say a placeholder was in place). But also, this was a predictable problem they 100% should have accounted for in advance. Tallulah and Chayanne both having (in practice if not in lore) only one and the same caretaker who streams a limited but precisely known number of days (exactly as many as was required to keep them alive on the old system) should have been accounted for at the point of system creation. I can't see a fix which doesn't either make Phil a massive exception, or force him to put one of his kids up for adoption, and that's unhappy to me. I'm sure theyll think of something, but they should have already thought of it and implimented it before the new system was in place. Tallulah-admmin should have been able to answer Phil's questions about her parental status and how he's going to be able to provide for two eggs.

The above would be less of a problem (still a problem but less of one) without the 0.5 for non-parents rule. But it would still be a problem.

As someone between a crow and a rat, I'm going to be salty. Atm Richas only has Pac, which is fine. But I can see it getting extremely frustrating when Richas has 3 to 5 caretakers over the week all of whom can do his tasks so he can be done in a day and otherwise do fun stuff - and as before his parents can pass him around to work on their stuff - while Philza's back to doing only childcare (I'm sure his lore won't just die to it, but it's going to get pushed aside as are any of the building projects he was considering). Which was always going to happen with eggs back and isn't really a change from before, except that multi-parent eggs can be done in a day. Seeing how full Em's bar was when Phil and his eggs sang by spawn should have been fun, but it just made me feel bitter and I hate that.

Once players run the maths it's going to discourage them from taking time off when they need to, especially the single parents, and I know these are adult professionals with their own lives who can talk to people, but also theyve already proven they're shit at prioritising themselves. The Philza streaming at stupid o'clock in the morning while sick so Chayanne didn't die streams are kinda an excellent example, but also Purgatory (especially Bolas). Like that Philza stream is legendary but is frankly actually horrifying. And the admins know the players pull this shit and /are/ in a position of authority and /do/ have a level of control over not just the players' fun but their livelihoods, and they shouldn't be making it harder.

It's cute, it's adorable, it solves a couple of problems the old system had while introducing massive and predictable new ones. The system doesn't seem to have been thought all the way through or the consequences actually considered which is an oversight not a maliciousness, but much like a buggy or untested video game is much harder to fix after players have gotten their hands on it than before. Much like purgatory whatever they do to fix it is still going to taste bad because the initial release was flawed. Worse, it's going to be massively different reception by different bits of the community, because it's goingto make life a easier for some ccs and harder for others: Fit's only here one more day this week, and is already worried about who can take care of Ramon - he asked Philza who wanted to but can't because he has his own eggs to manage, and I just... that was very unpleasant. Especially with Chayanne writing "we can't let him die" and Philza saying words to the effect of what do you want me to do I don't even know if I can keep both of you alive. Meanwhile Em is already 2/3s done for the week. On Monday. Which in theory means Bagi could look after Ramon, but see the 0.5 and it punishing non-parents for trying to help out!

System makes it significantly easier to keep your kid alive if you're a parent with shared custody (3 parents and you can be done in a day), a little harder for single parents (other people have to work double), and (as currently stands with no super obvious solution) extremely difficult for the single parent with multiple eggs he's the only active parent of.

TBH if a game I was playing added something like this, especially as the player had no idea of the changing rules in advance, I'd fucking leave. It's a massive red flag to me - not of ill intent or a lack of love but of a lack of forethought and such. It'd make a neat special event or whatever, but only if everyone knows and agrees in advance and only if there's not consequences to refusing.

Plot stuff being hidden from players but much like with purgatory players reeeeeally need to be given more mechanical changes info in advance. I would bet if theyd shown these rules to the players in the discord Philza would have gone "what about Tallulah" and Fit would have gone "I've got a trip what about Ramon" and BBH would have gone "hey I've had to semi-regularly solo-parent 5+ eggs because cons and stuff how do I protect them" and this would have been smoothed out. (Maybe a parent can nominate babysitter/s and said babysitter can cash out as many times as they have eggs in their care each day? Idk). But because it got shown to players on screen with these massive holes still there, people (like me) will be salty and it'll never taste good.

[mihai-florescu]

Putting a message i sent earlier under a read more, it has some thoughts ive expressed before tho. ES, of course

My thoughts as an EichiP... i view ! and !! as different stories in the way they're approached tbh, what i fell in love with enstars for was the character driven storytelling of one event seen through different perspectives, where you see the antagonist in one perspective become a protagonist in another story and can empathize with the entire cast like this. I fell in love with eichi's story of second chances, getting what you want and regretting your actions in the process, redemption, desperation, overcoming fate and asserting one's self into the story, saving a school in a dying industry that saved your life by giving you a dream; i consider it an arc fulfilling to the reader at the end of ! era. But we still had to continue... and it's not like we didnt get inklings of eichi's dreams of idol utopia, the idol soldier idea goes back to main story 1, but !! loses the charm of the original series through expanding the worldbuilding so much and shifting to a plot driven story that opens 10 cans of worms instead of offering resolutions. There's not really room to breathe if the stakes just keep getting higher and higher...

As for the colonisation plotline, it's been here since the beginning of ES2. The SS arc makes it obvious, but i remember even before, the talks about ES taking over from local businesses, trying to be seen as the standard, it was always the direction ensemble square as an institution would take. But the "antagonist in one story, protagonist in another" approach doesnt work anymore with such subjects. The guys responsible for this are your coworkers you share dorms with. I read the stories but cant empathize anymore, so i've been feeling disconnected from eichi for a while. I see enstars with eichi at its core but i didnt care for his center event, i read it, didnt like the ending, and overall felt off. Eichi becoming the villain of ! to attone for the war kind of loses significance if a year later he is a cartoon villain idol colonialist you can't even sympathize with anymore because of the magnitude of events. However i do think !! has done good things for some characters pushing them further or developing them in a way ! didnt. But for others...

I also have my issues with sci fi elements becoming the norm, even taken metaphorically or as hyperboles, when one of the central themes i love about enstars is humanity. Then again, i am a war era fan that relied on manipulating human desires and perceptions, and the fact that there were no monsters or gods, just humans framed as such, playing on people's fears and beliefs, it's a bit jarring to me to have them introduce AIs forming from escaped comatose brains (im minimizing the switch climax rn, i didnt even hate it as a whole, just this resolution im unhappy with)

It also feels like we've lost some of the meta aspects of the writing i liked, a certain awareness of being characters in a story and there being an audience. But im still struggling to word my thoughts on this matter. I felt it present in main story 2, even if it annoyed me at parts in its obviousness ("good thing we're not protagonists, no one would want to read about us" youre right aira you are not interesting to me. And yet i'll read your story to try and empathize nevertheless. I have other thoughts on aira too, perhaps for another time). I wish we explored a bit more what it means to no longer be the central protagonist, from trickstar's perspective...and brought back the successors topic. But i havent read every ts story yet so i'd be foolish to complain before really making sure i've checked everything. To me ! ended satisfyingly with room left for elaborations and imagination, but i dont feel like !!'s ending is really ending anything at all. Not necessarily bad since it's not like the game is shutting down, but overwhelming worldbuilding wise while underwhelming character wise...

Let's see... im not sure how to end this. Just a bit of a stream of consciousness as a ! fan who still loves enstars despite my critiques. Mainly, well, no one's gonna take away the stories that already exist that i do love and impacted my life greatly. And i do think !! had some really good things too it brought, or at least stories i hold dear too. Change is scary and i don't think it's always for the best, but it's also fun to see where it goes next...

[chicken-fifi]

BTS Reaction | They Have a Crush on You (Unrequited)

Pairing: BTS Members x Reader

Requested by anon: Hello 👋👋 could you pls write for BTS members unrequited love headcanons? they are in love with reader who is their friend. But she is oblivious to their feelings and doesn't reciprocate because she is not a celebrity and she never thought that they will ever like her romantically. They also can't confess to her because she told them before that she will never date a celebrity (cause of crazy fans, lack of privacy, hate comments etc.) Thank you ❤️

A/n: this one took me so long to write i'm not even kidding, like wtf

Tunes: superbowl LVII. do i understand anything about it? no, but the it's the first time univision is covering the super bowl in SPANISH. so here i am. :)

Jin:

Seokjin understands full heartedly your reasons for not wanting to date a celebrity

They are all valid and very logical reasons 

And he wishes you find someone who is able to check all those boxes

Even if it breaks his heart to have to let you go

He’ll bottle up every single feeling he has for you

Battle them to remain buried for years if he has to

All if it means he still gets to be a part of your life

All if it means he doesn’t have to lose you

Suga:

Much more quiet around you than usual

Yoongi really struggles with this

He wants to be happy with you

And he knows that he can make you happy on his own

But the knowledge that you don’t want to date a celebrity due to privacy issues, and fans, and hate

He gets it

He really does

But it breaks him

Because at what point can put his foot down

Take control of his life solely because it’s his life

Protect you and everything you value

He would do it without question

But he won’t do it if it means risking your friendship

J-Hope:

Quiet but not unavailable if that makes sense

Hoseok really tries to push the romantic feels he has for you aside

Some days it’s much easier than others

He does dwell on the ‘what ifs’quite often

What if he hadn’t auditioned and passed

What if he wasn’t a member of BTS

What if he was just a normal person, who had a normal life, and could give you the normal life you wanted

What if

What if

What if

RM:

Is probably the member who hides it the best

Namjoon loves you to pieces

And while he doesn’t necessarily allow that to show, he does show that he cares for deeply

But part of the reason why he’s able to hide and push it aside is because he genuinely doesn’t believe you even feel the same way

After who on earth would like him

Especially you

Given your position on not dating a celebrity

He can handle pinning over you for the rest of his life

He can’t handle not having you in it all

Jimin:

One of the sad puppy trio

Jimin is so mopey about this

He tries not to let it show but it does sometimes

He can’t help the pain that fills his eyes whenever you talk about new romantic interests

It hurts to know that he would never be considered as one

But if by some chance he could ever be taken into account

He’ll jump at the opportunity

But until then

He’ll wallow in sadness

Putting one a smile just for you

His friend

V:

Taehyung is very much like a sad puppy

It’s noticeable despite how much he tries to hide it

He wishes he could say that he wouldn’t allow any of the hate, lack of privacy, and crazy fans to get to you

But he can’t promise that

Not matter how much he wishes he could

That would put him in your good graces as a potential partner for sure

But risking your unhappiness is something he would never do

So he’ll mope and remain silent

Cause he’s not going to put you in any situation where you aren’t happy and free because of him

Jungkook:

Sad puppy here too

Jeongguk can’t hide the longing stares

Or the pouts that come across his face whenever you bring up another celebrity and non-celebrity couple who struggling with protecting their private lives, the hate, and stalking

He hates that that’s the norm for relationships for people like him

That they can’t offer the same normalcy in a relationship

And they can’t really expect the same either

He wants nothing more than to confess his feelings to you

Live his life with no regrets

But the risk of not being able to have you in his life for even the most simple of conversations

He can’t risk that

He won’t risk that

Even if it means he’s unhappy for quite sometime