#not your average gym bro type

[sunsguilt]

SMASH OR PASS WITHOUT THE SMASH !┊ft: all nrc characters!

warnings: none! contains: gn reader

notes: this is essentially a dateability ranking in terms of pure survival and living your best life. i love all the characters dearly, and this is just for fun!

HEARTSLABYUL

riddle rosehearts: don’t get me started on him. hypothetically, let’s say he has a single romantical bone in his body. he would probably (definitely) want to date someone his mother would approve of, so someone who’s super studious and thinking about becoming a lawyer type of thing. even then, his mother would be the overbearing MIL stereotype, and riddle would just bend to her every whim, so it wouldn’t work. would probably divorce you if his mom said to. 

overall rating: 2/10, could be a nice cushy life if he took his penchant for memorizing rules into a lawyer profession and became a rich husband, but still the MIL…. you would end up on r/relationshipadvice within weeks, i’m afraid. 

ace trappola: he’s like a frat boy to me, honestly. I think you could be friends with him within reason, but if you actually date him… he’s the kind of guy who would pursue you and then get bored once u start dating. whoops, he had a consensual workplace relationship. he canonically ghosted his ex, guys. 

overall rating: 3/10, you would be dating a frat boy. you don’t want that for yourself, trust me, speaking from second-hand experience here. 

deuce spade: deuce is actually normal. like he’s no rich boy, but his family is respectful and his mother would adore you if he brought you home. he’s a little slow, but he’s got the spirit, y’know? 

overall rating: 6/10, very nice in-laws, very cool husband. you may end up being the primary breadwinner. 

cater diamond: with cater, it’s probably a bromance that turns into a real romance. mostly because he didn’t want to confess and ruin the whole thing you had going on together. likely a guy who needs a lot of validation from his partner. like he’ll say he hates pickles if you don’t like pickles. will not let a pickle pass his lips. will try his very hardest to convince you to do silly couple challenges.

overall rating: 8/10, he’s sooooo cute but he’s got unresolved mental instability like you wouldn’t believe. personally, i love that in a man. call me fix-it felix.

trey clover: trey is. trey. average guy whose family runs a bakery. he’s cute though!

overall rating: 5/10, he’s probably a freak in terms of intimate relations! teehee! no further comment.

SAVANACLAW

leona kingscholar: leona is a nice guy, respectful etc. but after a while, he’s not putting the same energy into the relationship as you are. the added layer of dating a literal prince…. no matter how disregarded he is by his family, he is second in line for the throne. the pressure from that sounds crazy, i won’t lie. you might be able to ignore the pressure of him bringing you home to straight up royalty ! overall rating: 5/10, he’s so dreamy and gorjus but he wears uncle sandals. jack howl: oh he’s so bf material, like you don’t understand. him being really firm on the fact that beastmen choose a life partner? wanting to fall in love and be committed to someone until his dying day? this is Romance. he's probs a good guy to bring to the gym for support if you’re just starting to work out regularly! might accidentally push you past your limits bc he’s thinking beastmen standards and not human. overall rating: 7/10, he’s so cute and i love him, but he’s a gym bro and does daily early morning jogs and such. cannot accept it. ruggie bucchi: he’s actually another really normal guy to date! he’s shown to do anything to provide for his loved ones (bringing food home from school to provide for his friends and family). very much an acts of service guy! 

overall rating: 4/10, the chances are high that he’ll do that thing that broke dudes do when they get all touchy and hug their partner when the partner pulls out their card to pay for something. 

OCTAVINELLE

azul ashengrotto: he would be nice to you ONLY if he had something to gain. would actually play the long game in order to sweet-talk you into signing some contract that totally screws you over forever. he is a capitalist at heart, i fear. he’s gonna get you in some get-rich-quick scheme. also, he can’t kiss and it would be weird and a lot more drool than necessary.  overall rating: 6/10, i love octopus.

jade leech: oh god. he’s like visually appealing but the longer he's talking, the worse it gets. his hobby would literally be getting your heart rate up. you’d be lucky if you don’t get high blood pressure from his desire to see your face twist in an ugly expression. he has a penchant for learning, so he’ll want to research the topic of his interest to the fullest to get the desired results.  overall rating: 3/10, the moment he’s tired of you, he’ll never speak to you again outside of a professional setting. floyd leech: he wants to have fun every day he can. which is fine, nothing wrong with that. the problem lies when he wants to rope you into it. and his idea of fun is….. questionable. he would call you up in the middle of the night and ask if you wanna go for a joyride that takes you over state lines. and you would only get like three minutes notice. he would also invite himself into your dorm and sleep in your bed. no, he’s not making the bed either, the guy canonically has to be forced into ironing his own shirt.  overall rating: 3/10, he looks like he bites unironically. would you get rabies if a humanized eel bit you?

SCARABIA

kalim al-asim: oh he’s so sweet, but the only problem is literally the fact that he’s rich. he frequently talks about multiple attempts on his life in his youth up until the present day. if people outside of your circle found out you were with him, word would surely spread to unwanted ears, and your life would be at risk because of that immediate association.  overall rating: 6/10, a total sweetheart, but i don’t think i’d be able to eat breakfast with him without wondering if something’s in our food. jamil viper: he has too many underlying issues that include but are not limited to: an inferiority complex that exists due to his forced proximity to kalim. as much as i’d love to say i could fix him, jamil almost killed kalim. Plus, jamil is literally kalim’s servant. association with kalim = will probably die. overall rating: 5/10, he’s got issues, but he’s so cute and probably just needs that reassurance or whatever. my silly guy!

POMEFIORE

vil schoenheit: vil is like my fav so i’d love to say that because he’s so nice and rich and pretty that he would be a perfect ten. WRONG. he’s famous. bad! what if he has crazy stans who go after you bc you’re dating him? for your own safety, you would never be able to go public with your relationship, that is if the tabloids don't get to you.  overall rating: 7/10, you’ll have to listen to him go on tangents about neige. 

rook hunt: if you’re thinking “yeah no he’s probably a safe bet, he’s rich and i could be his trophy wife/husband”, you like french people and you’re lying to yourself !!!!! ive never met a normal rich person in my life, and rook is no exception. he would know your shoe size before you even know his last name. 

overall rating: 0/10, he’s weird AND french.

epel felmier: he lives in a small town where everyone tends to know each other and their business. there’s no hiding your relationship from them. downside is, he would have a crazy inferior complex if you were taller than him. He needs to be a Man’s man, yknow??? overall rating: 6/10, he’s a good cook, an incredible one, even. if you can’t cook and you can deal with a man who desperately wants to show you how cool he is, then this is the one for you. 

IGNIHYDE

idia shroud: he wouldn’t date, like he’s a NEET guys, i don’t see it at all. He would marry someone if it was for tax reasons, or just to tell people he isn’t bitchless. you'd just go to a courthouse real quick and pop by an ihop after.  

overall rating: 6/10, he would be an incredible overwatch carry. would bully you for sucking super hard in any type of pvp game. 

ortho shroud: he’s like a child, so he is not included! 

overall rating: 0/10, in terms of dateability, he’s silly tho

DIASOMNIA

malleus draconia: you would be perfectly safe with him. yeah, he’s not fully clear on the norms of human society, but he treats you well! problem is, he'd be a little too obssessed and its going to very quickly turn into "he's going to keep u in this tower bc hes scared abt u dying"

overall rating: 7/10, wouldn’t you love a loser man who is obsessed with gargoyles?!  silver: objectively, the world’s most perfect man. he’s super cute and can cook! everything you would want in a man. he's also got his wacky little sitcom type family like step brothers who are Not human and a dad who is Not human but like they care for him he cares for them! 

overall rating: 9/10, no real drama and they'd probably be elated if he brought someone home.  sebek zigvolt: he would choose malleus over you every time, i’m so sorry. like “sorry babe malleus needs help shining his sword or whatever, you can start the movie without me.” realistically the only time sebek could be in a relationship is if he finds someone whos as obsessed with malleus as he is so they can be hyperfixated on him together or something. like how kpop stans marry each other, but with malleus the dragon prince. 

overall rating: 2/10, he would use you has a human dishrag to clean shoes for malleus.  lilia vanrouge: everyone loves a fictional old man, but this particular old man comes with trauma and emotional baggage spanning centuries. You can only fix-it felix your way out of so many things. he’s cute, though. 

overall rating: 4/10, canonically picks his nose, i fear.

— ☆

[chocotonez]

skz + kisses

a/n: I’m phuxkin back baby I know u missed me (I am drowning in homework)

warnings/genre: physical affection, sappy fluff, mainly head canon mmmmm I want to make a gidle version now…or itzy. sigh, anyways fluffy physical affection, some suggestive mentions?? nothing explicit

chan

-bro acting like you haven’t been dating for a while whenever you give him a kiss

-he loves when you kiss his cheek, he doesn’t know why but it makes him FOLD.

-he doesn’t really do makeout sessions on the normal, he’s more handsy

-kisses the top of your head all the time, will literally scale a ladder if he has to

-probably pecks you all over your face before kissing your lips. sobbing now.

-holds your face when he kisses you :,)

-in the morning, if you’re like taller than him (height or position wise) he’ll kiss your clavicle region while gently scratching your back. If you’re shorter, he kisses the top of your forehead while lazily stroking your head.

-“Can I have a kiss?” while puckering his lips type of mf

minho

-annoying as hell

-asks for a kiss and when you lean in he swerves you

-giggles when you get all pouty and gives you a small “sorry” along with a kiss on the cheek

-another face holder right here

-loves kissing ur jawline

-heart skips a beat when you initiate a kiss, gets all tender hearted and is just like holding his heart while screaming over how cute you are

-he doesn’t seem like it but he’s really gentle when he kisses you

-you guys are the annoying couple in lines, he holds your hand and kisses the back of it <333

changbin

-whines and cries for kisses (you always give in)

-loves like lifting you up from behind and giving you a kiss behind your ear or smth (your average pose for his gym pics)

- don’t know why I love the changbin gym pic agenda but i do <3

-kisses your shoulder, especially if you’re in bed and you guys are just laying down he’ll lean over to see what you’re looking at on your phone, shoulder kiss and then he places his chin in the crevice between your shoulder and head

-love love loves little kisses, kissing your fingerpads before you run your fingers over his face to trace his features, kissing the tip of your nose when you’re acting all cute, kissing the back of your neck when you’re sitting on his lap etc etc

-likes giving kisses, he likes receiving them too don’t get me wrong!! but I feel like he’s more of a hug person where he wants you to just crash in his arms

-and after you give him a big hug he gives you an even bigger kiss

hyunjin

-smooth n tender

-i don’t know how to phrase this well in English but he dances with you in the kitchen/rain/literally anywhere and he spins you (Like where the partner grabs their hand during a dance or something omfg I hope u understand) into his arms before giving u a kiss and making your heart flutter <3

-he’s a romantic but he’s very casual and laidback, he’ll lay in bed with a hand behind his head, the other to gesture you over before spending the next ten minutes making out with you

-loves tracing your cheek before kissing you, mainly because he thinks it’s cute

-he likes when you kiss his neck, shoulder, or cheek. it’s comforting especially if you’re giving him a back hug <3

-he likes physical affection, loves running his hands over your arms while kissing you or squeezing your hands

-definitely the type to tap his cheek to ask for a kiss

han

-annoying pt. 2

-non-stop kisses dude…Loves kissing you all over the face but loves it even more when you reciprocate <3

-whines if he doesn’t get a kiss every hour, probably spam texts you to come over if he wants a kiss

-blushes and giggles like a school girl whenever you kiss him

-u have him kickin his legs and writing lyrics about you at night

-loves just normal pecks on the lips, nothing intense or serious. He can’t word it, but there’s something domestic and relaxed which makes him feel at home and it’s genuinely the best feeling for him <3

-“ooooo you’re gonna get cooties” type of guy even though he asked you for a kiss

felix

-please do that thing where you crawl into his lap while he’s gaming/working and give him a kiss on his neck/shoulder. he melts every time.

-likes to lay his head on your lap and play with your hands before kissing the back of them, tbh his kisses are very casual but his heart is at 29382 bpm every time you kiss

-likes to lay on you while you’re trying to sleep and staring at you until you wake up, before giving you a little kiss on the cheek and saying “good job”

-he stares at your lips but probably doesn’t make moves

-likes when you initiate physical touch, just because he feels like you care and stuff

-you don’t make out often, but when u do he’ll always part for a brief moment and breathlessly ask “are you okay with this?”

seungmin

-I can’t see him as a big kisser, even just casual stuff

-he likes holding you, your hand, your waist—Kissing just isn’t as appealing as getting to squeeze you like a snake.

-but he definitely does not mind at all receiving kisses from you <333

-gets the biggest smile every time you give him a kiss on the top of his head, he can’t control it. even in his worst mood the corners of his lips will twitch up because something about you is just so <333

-got him running LAPS

-teases you for kissing him but then pulls you back closer if you try to leave because “he’s being mean”

-“I’ll do your laundry for a kiss.”

jeongin

-reserves kisses for special moments

-he finds it a very important piece of physical affection, so for birthdays and anniversaries or when you’re sad, or just when you ask it

-kisses you softly but passionately, his kisses r rare in quantity but high in quality!!

-he may not kiss you very often, but just ask and you’ll receive. he just won’t do regular pecks or rushed kisses, he likes to take his time in expressing how much he loves you

-plus if you give him a rushed kiss on the cheek he’ll get sad and want more

-tucks your hair behind your ear or runs this thumb over your cheek before kissing you, probably holds your hand too. sigh.

-always breaks your kisses off with a compliment too :,)

[petrssecrethideout]

"Bro, do you wanna hear about something crazy?"

"I mean sure, go ahead,"

"Alright, so I was just relaxing, scrolling TikTok,"

"Already a bad idea."

"I know, I got beef with that fuckin' algorithm let me tell you. I follow a couple of bodybuilders, post a couple of gym vids and suddenly my For you page is filled with the biggest assholes alive. Anyway, I'm scrolling, and I see this guy, he's doing that whole 'alpha top dog' thing even though he's not that big."

"Okay wait pause, how big is not that big?"

"I don't know, I have more muscle in my arms than he has in his whole body, real gym influencer type."

"Alright, for anyone listening to the pod at home, I should probably just say that this guy could be anywhere from 150-300 pounds from Dale's description of him, okay? He's not good at judging what normal guys look like anymore."

"Yeah, okay, you got me. Anyway, this guy keeps going on about his great advice, so I stick around to hear it. You wanna know what he said? 'Stop Cumming, its killing your natural testosterone' What kind of bullshit is that!?"

"I mean that is a big part of the current fitness world, these guys will say anything to get more followers, and a lot of their followers are so desperate for progress that they'll take whatever advice they're given."

"It's a shame, because he's also wrong! I tried that whole 'No Nut Whatever' and its been the only time in these last 5 years that I've plateaued."

"... Really?"

"Yeah! If I'm not cranking a load out every day I can kiss any potential gains goodbye."

"Wait,"

"Like after my workouts, when I got a huge pump going, I just have to crank one out, like what good workout would it be if I didn't"

"Dale c'mon,"

"And its not like I can just hit up a guy on Grindr and go to town every time I need to, there aren't enough guys on Grindr for that."

"Uggggh dude, we are never getting a sponsor with you talking like this."

"What, so all the straight alpha dudebros can talk about semen retnetion and get a ton of followers, but I get censored for talking about jacking off and getting tons of ass?"

"Yeah, we will."

"Well then, listeners, go subscribe to the patreon so that I can talk about my actual tips for growing, and so that you can help Mark get bigger. I'm telling you, I'm gonna make this boy huge with your help. Audio listeners make sure to check the videos so you can see this boy get huge. Now bro, help me out here. You don't want those Tiktok gymfluencers to win do you? How often are you jerkin off?"

"Oh god I can't believe I'm answering this... A couple of times a week maybe?"

"A week? That's fucking crazy. My average is like 4-5 times a day. More if I'm really feeling horny. If I'm being honest I jerked off a few weeks ago on the pod, like I forgot to before I came here. One of the comments mentioned something about my grunting that episode."

"Jesus christ dude, how do you even manage that?"

"Well, you gotta work up to it. I couldn't do that starting out, but once I started growing I was so horny I had to do something about it. I think that's what these guys don't get. You gotta get those balls working, give them a reason to keep making that sweet testosterone. How are you supposed to do that if you aren't jacking it? Honestly dude, I feel like I gotta prove these guys wrong now."

"What, you're gonna be a cum warrior?"

"Hell yeah man, I'm gonna be fighting the war on jerking it, on the side of jerking it!"

[zzzinternetperson]

The new Lifeguard

It was a beautiful but hot day in summer, and Ash had been planning on going to the beach to try and swim a little bit during his vacation in California, just to cool off and relax after his morning at the gym. While walking to the beach which was about 5 minutes away on foot, Ash couldn’t help but stare at woman butts, and breasts. He was straight after all, and he certainly didn’t like any of that “Gay shit”. He walked towards the beach in the burning sun, sweating like a beast and stinking.

Arriving, Ash was surprised to see absolutely no one on the beach when it should’ve been crowded with other tourists visiting and locals, specifically on a hot day like this one. The beach was empty except for some people sunbathing or lifeguards. Ash approached one of the lifeguards to ask why no one was swimming, it was really weird. The lifeguard looked to be in his 20s, he was definitely a twink and Ash thought to himself how he didn’t feel embarrassed to have a speedo hugging his 2-inch looking penis.

“Yo bro, why is there no one swimming?” Ash asked, which the twink lifeguard answered by “Girl haven’t you seen like.. the signs? Scientists discovered like a weird chemical in the water, no one is allowed to swim here anymore!” The twink said with a high-pitched voice. The gym addict, Ash replied by “Nah bro, I don’t care about your bullshit, I’ll swim if I want to, and you’re definitely not gonna stop me with that body of yours.” Ash removing his shirt and revealing his perfect, musky pecs and abs in front of the twink, who looked at him with puppy eyes.

Ash started to walk towards the water, completely ignoring the twink telling him not to go in.

The jock put his two, size 16 feet into the seawater. “See?! Nothin’s happenin bro.” Ash said to the Twink looking at him in the distance.

But no, there was actually something starting to happen, but Ash didn’t feel or notice it. The chemical in the water was somehow making his feet…shrink. Going from a meaty, thick and masculine to small, cute and tiny size 9 feet. His previous jock foot smell which wasn’t noticeable In the water didn’t fade away completely however, Ash’s feet would still be smelling badly of cheese even with his new transformed twink feet. It just wasn’t as powerful and intoxicating as before, even though the smell was still able to be noticed and considered foul-smelling. Ash went deeper into the water, making his legs fully emerged and fully ready to change. His legs that were muscular, athletic and strong quickly changed as he stopped just before his crotch was emerged by the sea water. His legs became less and less muscular by the second, only to become average, slim and skinny twink legs. The hair on his legs also vanished, only leaving a brown coat that was barely visible. The shrinking of his legs made his height change, he was once 6’2 but that became 5’8.

“See, don’t know why you’re being such a puss bout’ it bro!” Ash started making fun of the lifeguard Twink, thinking nothing was happening, while going deeper into the water until his entire lower body & crotch was submerged. Obviously, his crotch was first. Without a surprise, it shrunk. It went from a huge, meaty and impressive 9 inch hard to a small, ridiculous and laughable 3.9 inch hard, and even more ridiculous 1.5 inch soft. His cock was the smallest out of all the lifeguards. Ash’s balls also shrunk, becoming two small grapes resting right underneath his pickle. Surprisingly, his hard-earned muscular butt also deflated, going from being large and huge to being small but really round. His new butt now looked like two small water bubbles, perfectly round, smooth but sadly small. Something that grew was his hole, though, it became bigger and larger, ready for any type of penetration.

Ash’s lower body was now transformed and fully emerged into the water, as he kept going deeper and deeper. His stomach just flattened out, while his pillowy pecs deflated like balloons, also becoming flat with his nipples becoming small, cute and very sensitive. The lifeguard was watching him, full well knowing what was going on to the arrogant jock but having no intention of rescuing him.

Ash’s entire body was into the water now except his head, which made his arms change. They shrunk, deflated and changed until they were small, skinny but defined twigs. They still somehow kept a little bit of their muscle. The hair under his armpits faded away. Ash was now really clean smelling overall except for his feet, and his butt when he farted. Ash started to look back at the twink and admire him. Of course he was straight, but he couldn’t help but stare at his big bubble butt, wishing his was this big. He even got hard looking at him. He didn’t question it though, he was in a sort of comfortable cloud, which was actually the water.

As Ash now had the body of a 19 year old twink, his head was next.

Ash dived straight into the water, completely emerging his entire body including his head. That caused it to change, first it’s shape changed completely, becoming less round than before. As the shape changed, his hair also did. It went from a buzzcut to a fluffy and cute twink teenager haircut that would be smelling of sea on summers like this one from him being in the water or the beach all day. His facial features became more boyish and cute, but also gave him a chill, relaxed and almost dumb look. What made him look even dumber was his ears, they made him look like a dumb ape or mouse. But most people would once again find it cute. His voice became more feminine and boyish, sounding like he hadn’t even hit puberty yet, even though he was 19. The last thing that changed with his body was his skin tone, he was once white.. but he quickly adopted a cute tan earned from the long days at the beach.

His memories were now changing, as his head was still underwater. Ash started to swim, even though he wasn’t that good of a swimmer before, he was now swimming like a pro. Knowledges of knowing how to dive and swim correctly flooded his mind, while other things about his personality and memories were changing.

He'd thought he had always been a homosexual twink, that worked as a lifeguard at a local beach. He had always lived in California, he even had an apartment downtown where he lived alone. He was single but didn’t want to miss any opportunities of getting his flat butt filled. All his previous memories faded into a horrible smelling fart. The fart was so smelly that even inside the water, the eggy smell could still be slightly noticed. The fart made bubbles appear inside the water, just like a jacuzzi, Ash thought. As Ash became dumber, the bubbles emitting from his eggy fart were making him giggle. His IQ landed at 70, which is just like his penis and ass, below average.

His personality started to change, The once arrogant, rude and masculine Ash draining in another horrible smelling fart, which was way longer than the previous one. As the long fart ended, Ash became obedient, chill and extremely submissive. He was 100% a bottom, and it was showing. He was ready to go with whatever others had him do, and was never in charge for anything. He was a really chill person to be with, he was really nice and kind.

New clothes started to appear while the other ones simply faded with the fart, a lifejacket and swimming shorts that showed how small he was on both the front and the back. Ash got his two little but smelly feet out of the water and walked back onto the beach, each step he was taking in the sand resulting in a horrible smelling fart sprouting out of his butt. He greeted the other twink lifeguard and sat with him on the sand. It was just another day at work for him. B.O ; 7/10 Butt size ; 4/10 Penis size ; 1.5/10 Overall looks ; 9/10

[alistairssock]

List of companions from least to most likley to have abs

(Also want to clarify and disclaimer this that most people do in fact have abs, as in the muscles, which is very normal, but it's highly unrealistic that the majority have rippling, vacuum sealed ones, like Larian likes to pretend they make us believe)

1. Halsin. Bear. That man is a bear. He can become one and should be one, in both the literal sense and the queer sense. You can drag bear Halsin from my cold, dead fingers

2. Gale. This man does not have visible abs. He is in fact the last person on this earth who would have model abs. Whether you see him as some lean, frail, stick of a man, or if you see him as fat (correct opinion imo, because it makes him hotter /hj (head canons are to have fun with, nothing's 'correct')), that guy's only workout routine has been not skipping leg day in his little wizard tower. That's it. Maybe running after Tara if she causes some Cat Sheanigans. Point is: that man does not actively work out, because he simply doesn't need it, and I can't imagine him having the interest to do so. He's lived a repulsive autism king life idk what to tell you here

3. Jaheira. She looks like the average mom in her 60s, whatever you imagine that to be. She's also a druid, so wouldn't think doing sit-ups would be her first priority. She is strong tho, just not in a conventional way. More in a mama bear type of way. You get what I mean, in your heart

4. Astarion. Look, why would he have? I don't think it was on Cazador's criteria list that every one of his spawns should have chissled abs, I'd figure he doesn't care about that. Besides, it makes a lot of sense he'd just look how he did when he died in the first place?? So whatever that is, I refuse to believe it's how Larian wants him to look

5. Shadowheart. Look, being trained and brought up as she got, I would figure she'd get a fair deal of combat training. But he heart is also prone to Short And Stocky Shadowheart, so hence placing her here. She is wide and compressed (endearingly)

6. Karlach. She has abs, but in the way beefy wrestler women do. She is tall and built like a truck, beautiful tank of a lady. After recruiting her, she mostly works out to stay in good shape for battle, but most importantly to give her friends the bestest of hugs once she get the opportunity

7. Wyll. He's fit in like a pro fencer kinda way, in a prince charming kinda way. Kinda like his in-gsme build but less...that sculpted y'kno. He' a gym bro, but without the evil macho man vibes

8. Lae'zel. Githyanki anatomy is for most part being gangly and kinda bony?? but I know that gal takes sit-ups every day at dawn. Anime training montage music ensues, she's really in it for the kill #girlpower

9. Minthara. Built like Rhea Ripley, need I say more🕴🏳️‍🌈

10. Withers YEEEEEAH GO PEEPAW💪💥💪💯💪

[kyufessions]

Gym Bro

synopsis: you finally meet your local gyms ‘gym bro’

pairings: ‘gym bro’! johnny x plus size! g.n. reader

word count: 1.3k

a/n: if ur gonna try to tell me that johnny wouldn’t be the type of gym bro with a chubby s/o ur wrong i will take no criticism

general taglist: @jwnghyuns @eaudenana

another day, another workout. within the past few months you started coming to the gym four times a week, wanting to just stay healthy for the sake of wanting to stay alive a bit longer. you were perfectly healthy, just ‘overweight’ by medical terms which didn’t bother you in the slightest. the admiration you held for yourself and your plump figure never once made you self conscious or scared to venture out into the world.

you approached the cool down on the treadmill, taking a sip from your pink tumblr full of hydrating gatorade. the sounds of older pop punk music rang through your ears, giving you all the energy boost you needed to finish out the rest of your solo session. as you finished up on the treadmill, cleaning it off with the provided materials by the local gym themselves, you heard the familiar sound of one of your airpods dying. rolling your eyes as you finished cleaning off any remaining sweat from the machine, a quiet sigh left your lips as you threw away the paper towels and made your way over to the weights with your pink tumblr in hand.

a few friendly smiles were shared with some of the workers and others that came to work out as well, them having known you from how often you frequent the gym. there were a few unfriendly stares from others, but you kindly ignored them as you were there for yourself and not them. as you stood in front of the mirror adjusting your yellow tank top, you noticed the same three men in their respective corner doing the same workout routine they always did on thursdays.

all three of the men were very attractive; staring at them made you feel intimidated at times. you never noticed them staring though, so you didn’t pay them much mind. the one was a former classmate of yours doing God knows what now, jaehyun. while the other two you never met, assuming he met them after college graduation a year ago. the one always caught your attention, whether it was for a split second or for the entirety of your stay but he always stood out to you. it was more so his tattoos and how delicately beautiful they seemed to you. he didn’t have any other visible tattoos that weren’t floral, which made you wonder if that reflected onto his personality. but you never really cared for making friends, especially at the gym with well known gym bros.

after stretching your arms for a quick minute, you picked up an average sized dumbbell and started with biceps curls. you weren’t the most logical when it came to working out, hell you didn’t even have much of a routine. all you did was show up and do whatever you felt like that day. zoning out as you continued to work out, what you didn’t notice was one of the so called ‘gym bros’ admiring you from afar. he always saw you around but wasn’t the type to talk to people at the gym unless approached first. everyone was there for one reason and one reason only: to workout. and he knew that, which is why he only ever focused on him and his group of friends that accompanied him. but he couldn’t help but find himself glancing in your direction whenever you came into his peripheral. you never noticed this though, you always kept to yourself and never paid much mind to anyone else.

“hey, dude, focus.” jaehyun snapped his fingers in front of his friends face as drank from his water bottle, nudging him in the arm.

johnny turned to look at his friend, apologizing before taking his hand towel and swiping it across his sweaty forehead. “sorry about that.”

“why don’t you just go talk to them?” his other friend, taeyong, recommended. all three looked in your direction for a split second before looking back at each other. “you’re always staring.”

“i don’t stare.” johnny scoffs, running a hand through his hair as he wipes down the machine he just used before going to meet jaehyun at the weights area.

taeyong followed behind, walking beside his taller friend. “you definitely do. just say hi or something, it can’t hurt.”

johnny nodded his head at jaehyun who was waiting for them so they could finish off their workouts with lifting; this is how they always finished a gym session. “i just don’t want to come across as that creepy guy at the gym.”

jaehyun shrugged after putting the correct amount of weights on the bar for taeyong. “then just continue staring like a creep then. your choice.”

meanwhile, as they approached the area next to you, you could hear their conversation. granted you didn’t know it was about you, but that didn’t stop you from eavesdropping. as your left airpod played Mayday Parade, your right one had completely died which left you being able to better hear your surroundings. you wondered who they could be talking about but didn’t put much thought into it, that was until you heard footsteps approaching you and you looked up to see the tall man with tattoos you found so beautiful.

“hey, uh, i’m johnny.” he spoke, awkwardly holding out his hand for you to shake before realizing your hands were occupied with dumbbells. “oh- sorry. wait, can you even hear me?” his eyes landed on your airpods, making you smile at how flustered and shy he seemed to be.

“yeah i can hear you, my airpod just died so i can only hear out of my left one right now.” you replied, stepping forward to set down the dumbbells and turning back around to face him. “i’m y/n. was i in your way or something?”

he waved his hands in the air, motioning in disagreement. “no no not at all, i just wanted to say hi because i see you around a lot and wanted to ask if you wanted to get lunch sometime.” you were taken aback. the person they had just been talking about was you? but you’ve never caught him staring at you before. the surprise on your face was evident, making johnny regret coming up and assuming he made you uncomfortable. “i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. i just find you attractive and thought i’d shoot my shot.”

a small chuckle left your lips, a smile forming soon after. this eased johnny’s tension, making him become more calm as a voice in the back of his head told him maybe this wouldn’t become a regretful decision to the point he would have to switch gyms. “when are you free next?”

you noticed the sparkle in his eye shine brighter as his facial expression lifted, a smile appearing on his face. “i’m free all day saturday, if that works for you. we can exchange numbers and discuss the plan and stuff?”

you nodded, pulling out your phone and opening up to add a new contact in your phone. “i don’t think i can do lunch but how about dinner? i know a great place by my apartment that has great wine if you’re into that.” you looked back up at him, noticing the small color in his cheeks as his smile never faded.

as you handed him your phone, he happily took it and started typing his contact information into it. “who doesn’t love wine?” he jokingly replied.

you shrugged, bending down to pick up your pink tumblr and taking your phone back as he handed it back to you. “people i don’t trust, johnny. people i don’t trust.”

he chuckled at your response, thankful you understood his humor. “dinner sounds great but only if i’m paying.”

you rolled your eyes playfully, a smile on your face making that obvious. “great, i’ll text you then.”

turning on your heels and walking back to the locker room to get changed, johnny made his way back towards his friends and noticed jaehyun smirking at him. he made a questioning face at his friend, earning a response.

“took you long enough.”

[cakejerry]

Listen whatever is the deal with jungkook right now I just know that something seems very sinister. Like there is something very wrong happening here. Doesn’t he have any real friends to tell him to maybe not broadcast his quarter life crisis to everyone to see? And mingyu and eunwoo aren’t real friends by the slightest😭😭😭 where is his family? His brother? Anyone? JIMIN?? Like whatever road he is going on won’t end well. Trying so hard to succeed in Hollywood which is known to be the most toxic industry on earth and the people in control are willing to take everything away from you just so they can get their money. And he is with scooter Braun out of all people. Literally the worst. Like he is literally throwing temper tantrums. Boy this is the industry you chose. Like I understand you had to give up a lot but like he needs someone genuine in his life. Someone to guide him before he throws himself in some serious shit just because he can’t control his phases and wants to seek “cool”. Like bro we get it many people think your cool and have been thinking that since you debuted. Koreans and international fans alike.

I don’t know what his current relationship with jimin is and if they were even ever more than friends because he just seems like a very lonely person. I think ms will be a very big change for him. He needs to step off the limelight for a good while and reassess what he wants and who he is. Because it feels like he has been in a constant battle for quite a while now lol.

anon ily 😭😭 you're literally putting into words everything I'm too scared to because I don't want people to call me a hypocrite for judging JK but... it is, truly, 'sinister'.

I'm not expecting jimin to parent him or anything but do they even talk about the big things atp or do they just fuck? because how did jk not learn anything from him? has that man not conquered his public image perfectly? jk was literally in the studio working on face, was that not what that album was about? finding yourself???

I feel like his 'friends' and family all tell him 'what's there to complain about you're literally bts' and management only sees the media buzz of 'loving idol who meets fans frequently' and no one cares that he's obviously going through something in these lives? pointing a camera at himself saying "I'm just doing all of this naturally with no thoughts" but his brain is so scrambled up with thoughts that he can't go a second without contradicting himself. trying to make a coherent sentence but failing. doesn't know what to do with fans, doesn't know what to do with fame. he doesn't even know what he wants except MORE. just deep deep in some type of denial or just plain immaturity

he needs to be humbled, and quickly. looking at the average idol lifespan since literally the start of kpop, when jungkook debuted he should have been expecting nothing else but to be RETIRED by now. it was only through sheer luck that bts did what they did and are still even active a decade later I don't think he understands how close he was to being a failed solo singer turned gym instructor by now. all he ever knew was steadily going UP and now he's moved the goalpost so far for himself he can't see how ridiculous he's being. fucking scooter brown...

he himself is the sole argument we need against debuting idols underage because bro has internalized the panopticon and is struggling to grow up in every sense of the word and I feel bad for even being one of the eyes on him. he's a person for real but most people (including himself) only see him as our entertainment.

no matter how we look at it, the military will be a much needed reset...

[innerfeather]

Body shapes for men!

Even if the fashion world is way more centered in women, men also deserve to know their body type to know what clothes suit them better. Unluckily, there is very little information for them – not to say there is NONE for non-binary people. I’ll do my best to approach this issue in faour of inclusivity, as ALL OF US deserve to know our shapes in order to find synch and harmony with our body.

Sources agree that men can have FIVE different body types: triangle, inverted triangle, rectangle, oval or trapezoid.

Triangle body type is characterized by narrow shoulders and wider hips. To find proportions and balance in this body, it is necessary to wear clothes that focus the attention on the shoulders, to make them look wider. Clothes that can help them do this are structured tailoring, shoulder pads and not very fitting clothes. It is best to use vertical lines and prints. Examples of this body type are Kany West or Adam Levine.

Inverted triangle bodies are described as having broad shoulders and narrow hips. It is the typical body type of swimmers and gym bros, as the upper half of the body is well-developed. Unluckily for them, most fashion brands tend to design clothes for men who are out of shape. They should wear things that highlight the pectoral lines, like V-shaped necks, slim-fit T-shirts and horizontal lines, and avoid vertical lines and prints. Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson is a classic example of inverted triangle:

Rectangle men appear tall and have the shoulders and hips around the same width. They should focus on creating structure, wearing layered outfits, scarves or structured tailoring, and can wear horizontal lines and prints. An example would be Matt Bomer or David Beckham:

Oval body type present its most width in the middle of the torso, with smaller shoulders and hips. It usually comes with sorter, broader limbs. They should use solid and dark colors and avoid prints and lines. Other tips: use suspenders instead of belts, and always use your size, don’t try to fit in smaller clothes. This applies to trousers, but also jackets and shirts. Elton John, who has always displayed his own personal style, has an oval body type.

Trapezoid body shape fits between rectangle and inverted triangle. The shoulders are slightly wider than the hips, but the body has balanced proportions. Men with this shape won’t have problems to find fitting clothes as most designers use this shape for their adjustments. It is advised to avoid loose and saggy clothes, and you’re both average build and average height, you could be in danger of blending in with crowds. Try to always have a few distinct details in your outfit, like a nice watch. Somebody with a rocking trapezoid bod would be Daniel Craig:

Unfortunately I couldn’t find a calculator, as for the female body types. If you are a man and want to know your body type, I can only tell you to take a picture of yourself standing straight. Place the camera at chest level and don’t tilt it.

This post is based on https://www.realmenrealstyle.com/, one of the few web sites that I found that address this issue. I hope some day I get to see more forums dedicated to male and non-binary style advise.

[vetlan]

15 Questions

1. Are you named after anyone?

No real idea, to be honest. Never asked and don’t feel like asking.

Probably, it’s a pretty common name.

2. When was the last time you cried?

Last Thursday, we’re talking public breakdown here.

I was tired in my defense.

3. Do you have kids?

Currently having a quarter-life crisis over it, but I’ll be honest, I wouldn’t trust me raising a child solo and not pulling a Bro Strider and expecting it to raise itself - I’m very sane like that. Neither would I want to raise it while still living at home with my parents. Literal “where would I put it” moment. Too poor for it and I lack the necessary emotional attachments, so who knows.

4. Do you use sarcasm?

At work, I handed a guy a reservation file. He was standing by the trash.

I tell him “archive this”. He asks if I meant to throw it out.

Thinking he was joking, I said “yeah, archive this in the trash.”

He proceeds to tear it in half.

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

I’m very much face blind and can’t notice details unless I stand there and stare at you, so what I notice first is how people carry themselves in a more wide sense - posture and behavior.

6. What’s your eye color?

Blue adjacent, light to the point of being afflicted with a debuff when it's bright outside.

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

Depends on the mood, I guess? Though if it's too watch randomly, I'd reach for a horror movie. I am not too well verses in movie genres and horror is just what I'm familiar with.

8. Any special talents?

None. Though to be positive I'll say "yet".

Working on it.

9. Where were you born?

Over there.

10. What are your hobbies?

Once upon a time, I used to binge watch anime and TV series. Nowadays I mostly either write, play video games or go to the gym. All whole listening to music, of course.

11. Do you have any pets?

It’s heading into an animal hoarding type of deal, but sure. Spare for three cats, kinda wish we didn't.

12. What sports do you play/have played?

Never was big into sports tbqh, grew up fat and that meant a resentment towards movement. Now tho I like going to the gym, but still no group sports.

13. How tall are you?

5′7′’ / 172cm, which in Portugal can be above average... but still makes me be mad I wasn't taller. Kinda fucked up how there's people taller than me. Looks at you.

14. Favorite subject in school?

Math in the sense that my math teacher stopped teaching us math in high school, and we just watched movies. He faked my grades above average. :)

15. Dream job?

Writing, but conceptually. Ideally, I’d like to have what Hideo Kojima has, just this trust from the public and ability to make whatever the fuck he wants as nonsensical as it is and everyone praising him for it.

Tagged: @ungarmax ty bestie

Tagging: all my porn-bot followers who i can’t be assed to clear out and you!

[graveink]

Dinovember x Huevember day 13 Not gonna lie this is the furthest I've ever made it in a draw every day challenge! Today's dino is the Iguanodon (Iguana tooth), an iguanadontia type from the late Jurassic to early Cretaceous periods in what is now Europe (based on the early 21st century taxonomic revision). These dudes were pretty bulky, giving your local gym bro a run for his money with an average of 4.5 metric tonnes in body mass! Prompt list by @drago.kaiju2000 . . . . . . #graveink #dinovember #dinovember2022 #huevember #huevember2022 #iguanodon #iguanatooth #iguanadontid #purple #red #winsorandnewtonnz #winsorandnewtonwatercolors #brbchasingdreams #watercolor #watercolors #watercolours #ink #inkdrawing #roar #daythirteen #day13 #newzealandart #aotearoaartist (at Wellington, New Zealand) https://www.instagram.com/p/Ck7nFo5rEEZ/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[stanzalivingofficial]

Coliving Spaces: The Most Flexible Rental Option For Newbies In Mumbai

Coliving spaces in Mumbai are the need of the hour. All thanks to the cramped up apartments. The high demand for vacant rooms. And the skyrocketing monthly rents. Because here’s the thing, Bombay is probably the only city where there’s zero difference between a PG and an apartment. To cut down your share of apartment rent, you’ll end up sharing it with half a film crew anyway, amirite? So that’s exactly why co-living spaces in Mumbai are the best – and the most flexible – option for y’all.

To explain that in detail, we’ve noted down the top 3 factors that make them flexible. And NGL, but you can completely trust our word on this. Why you ask? It’s because we, at Stanza Living residences, are the largest network of co-living spaces in the country. So whatever we’re saying, it’s super legit by default. Now, read on. So you don’t feel like living in your grandma’s home when you end up in a Mumbai apartment. All the kids were shoved into one room to sleep as too many uncles and aunties were visiting for the holidays.

Most Flexible Options for Newbies in Mumbai

Co-living spaces in Mumbai are the most flexible option for newbies in Mumbai. And here’s why:

Flexible Rental Periods

Ready-to-move-in rooms

No Brokerage and Low-Security Deposit

Looking for places with zero brokerage and just 1 month’s security deposit? Just check out our residences in Mumbai.

Flexible Rental Periods

Flexibility. One of the most frequently used words in today’s day and age. And for all the right reasons. Because amidst our hectic routines, who’s got the headspace to deal with things that keep you tied up, right? And that’s why you gotta love the flexible rental periods offered at the professional coliving spaces in Mumbai. They keep that much space in your head free. So you can dare to say yes to that immediate opening in another city.

Ready-to-move-in rooms

No need to run around looking for used furniture. No asking the local shopkeepers about the house helps. And no more spending your money and time on a new fiber connection. At a co-living space of your choosing, you’ll find them all and every other amenity already in place. So if you pay your security deposit now, you can move in right now. If you do it a month later, that’s fine too. As easy as it gets, innit?

No Brokerage and Low-Security Deposit

Two of the top reasons why looking for a rental home is seen as a dreadful task are these. One, paying a broker a handsome fee out of your pocket. Second, paying more than 4 months’ security deposit. A financial hole that puts you back for months. Now, if both of these went out of your way, won’t that be a dream come true? So there you go. Move to the best co-living spaces in Mumbai by Stanza Living. Just by paying only 1 month’s security and a 0.0000 brokerage fee.

FAQs on Co-living Spaces in Mumbai

Which are the Top Factors that Make Co-living spaces, in Mumbai, as Flexible as They Are?

Here. Look at these factors and you’ll get your answer:

Flexible rental periods

Ready-to-move-in rooms

No brokerage and low-security deposit

What is the Average Food Expense that I’ll have to Bear While Living in Mumbai?

Well, food bills are the second heaviest bills to pay after your rent. So these are the average costs depending on how you wanna take care of your daily meals:

Type

Average Cost (INR)

Hired Cook

3,000-10,000 per month

Tiffin Service

2,000-3,000 per month

Eateries

100-500 per meal

Restaurant

1500, Meal for Two

Which are the Best Gyms in Mumbai Near Me?

Gym bros and fitness freaks, listen up. These are the best gyms in Mumbai:

Gold’s Gym

Qi Gym

Five Fitness

What is a Good Salary to Live in Mumbai?

If you earn upwards of 75K per month, you could probably live comfortably. But even if you don’t, the energy and vibe of the city will make up for whatever you lose in terms of living comforts.

What are the Poshest Areas in Mumbai?

Also known as the places where all the celebrities live and their fans gather to catch a glimpse of them, these are the poshest areas in Mumbai:

Bandra Bandstand

Malabar Hill

Worli Sea Face

[iwadori]

Hey! I really liked that atsumu x reader fic where reader's Kita's sister. Could we get a similar fic but instead it's Kuroo dating kenma's equally as socially awkward sister/team manager?

Dating your Brothers teammate PT 2 (Kuroo)

Part One Part Two Part Three

Word count: 1.8K

Genre: angst, fluff

You were a first year in Nekoma high school

You kept to yourself, since you found it hard to make friends

You spent your time in your classes, the library or joining your old brother’s (kenma) practices, although when you did attend you didn’t socialize with all your brother teammates you either sat with a book on in your hand or (if you were lucky) played on Kenma’s nintendo swtich.  

When Kuroo first saw you, he thought you were the prettiest girl that he ever laid his eyes on. He was speechless, to say the least. Kenma introduced him and you first as when you started in your first year, since he knew that you two should at least be acquainted with each other as you were all going to be walking to school together.

You found Kuroo very annoying (and that was an understatement) his debonair smirk, his wild wild bedhead and all of his continuous chemistry puns were things you found attractive annoying about him.  

Sometimes when you attend practice, you could tell that Kuroo was trying extra hard in an attempt to ‘show off’ to you, but you took no notice since you knew what type of guy Kuroo was (well you thought). Kuroo was a heavy flirt (well everyone he laid eyes on) he also was a giant dick. To you, he was a your average stereotypical teenage boy.

One day, Kenma fell ill with a cold so it just left you alone to walk to school. However, when you left your house, you see the last person you want to see.  

“Kenma’s not coming today” you whisper softly, but loud enough for him to hear.

“Yeah I know” he smiled

“So then why are you here?” you ask

“Well I’ll have you know Y/N, I’m here to see you.” he said as you start walking

On your route to school, you don’t say much just letting Kuroo talk about things or asking you questions to which you just nodded or shook your head in reply. As much as you’d like too, you didn’t know how to properly talk to someone like Kuroo, knowing the types of conversations he’s used to having with people, especially other girls.

Reaching the gates of Nekoma, before you could step inside Kuroo pulls you to side and puts his hands on your shoulders “Y/N” he says,

“Yes Kuroo?” you look up at him

“I just want to say I like you..” he says waiting for a response from you  

“I-I ...umm” You didn’t really know what to say, although you did find him annoying beyond relief there were some redeeming qualities about Kuroo that you could think of. But would two even work properly?

From your lack of response Kuroo continued, “I’m sure you don’t trust me right now, but Y/N don’t worry I’ll make sure I’ll prove to you that I’m a good guy for you.”

You couldn’t do anything but nod, since you didn’t really know what to say to that. Just then, the bell rings and you were still frozen in place, only snapping out of your trance when you hear Kuroo shout from afar “Don’t worry Y/N im going to do my best to woo you!”

Over the next month, Kuroo is doing his extra best to get you to fall in love with him doing things like: walking you to your lessons, carrying your books for you, bringing you lunch and spending everyday complimenting you to your face and to his friends.  

His actions made you swoon, you did feel more comfortable around him, although you haven't confessed your feelings yet, you were planning on to at the date that you reluctantly accepted to go on. You were going to have dinner first at this nice restaurant that you showed interest in ages ago and you were planning to watch a sequel to *insert favourite movie here* since he knew that you really liked the first one.

Before leaving out to the date you looked in the mirror giving yourself a once over. ‘Wow I look hot’ you thought smiling, you were kind of excited to see Kuroo and hear what he had to say about how you looked today. When you were leaving you were startled by Kenma who said

“Where are you going Y/N?” he asked with his eyes focused on his game

“Oh, to the library” you lied your cheeks heating up.

“Sure, you are...” he said

“Bye Kenma” you say putting your hand on the door knob

“Oh Y/N” he calls

“Mhm”  

“You look nice today” making you smile wide giving your brother a ‘Thank you’ before finally leaving.

On the way to the restaurant, you had a pep in your step, you felt the happiest you’ve ever been in a while. You stood outside the restaurant and took a few deep breaths to calm the sudden surge of nerves that washed over you. You counted to 10 and walked in the resturaunt freezing at what you saw, there was Kuroo looking as handsome as ever but next to him was a beautiful girl who was tall and had long hair, pretty eyes and a great body who also reminded you of someone you knew (but you just couldn’t put your finger on it.)

She exclaimed “Tetsu!” and pulling into a hug, her boobs pushing against his chest making you cringe. You didn’t know what to do, you couldn’t compete with this European-looking supermodel, especially she already looks really friendly with ‘Tetsu.’  

You storm out the restaurant a bit too aggressively, causing attention to yourself making Kuroo look at over to you, cursing himself for knowing how the situation looks to you. He chases after you, but sadly you were already gone.

When you got home, you rushed upstairs to your room with tears in your eyes. You knew this was stupid in the first place ‘Trusting a guy like Kuroo Testurou, how stupid can you be.’  

Kenma came into your room, never asking or caring to know what happened as he knew that once you were ready to tell him you would. You and Kenma have always been close, as you’re both as quiet as each other you never felt the need to be surrounded by a bunch of people since both of you were just what each of you needed.

You managed to forget the awfulness of your ‘date’ getting distracted by trying to win in a game of Murder Mystery on roblox and also having fun trolling 6 year olds with your brother. The night was basically ended and before you dozed off to sleep and Kenma went to his own bedroom he said “At least talk to him Y/N” leaving your room not waiting for a response.

As you slept, you thought about what Kenma said ‘what more is their to say to Kuroo?’ You did think about all the possibilites of what could’ve really happened with Kuroo and that girl. Maybe they’re just friends? You didn’t want to think about the possibility of you being wrong. You were never wrong. So you just slept with the assumption of Kuroo being who you thought he was in the first place. A womanizing dick.

As lonely it was, you didn’t tag along with Kenma to the gym and you made sure to wake up earlier so you didn’t have to walk to school with your brother and your boyfriend his best friend.  

Kuroo really wanted to talk to you again but you were heavy on the ignoring him. He even asked Kenma for help, but even though your brother was definitely always going to be on your side no matter what, he didn’t want to be in between his bestfriend and his little sister.

When you were walking home from school one day, you were stopped by the pretty girl that was with Kuroo on your ‘date.’ “Hi, my name is Alisa Haiba” she said smiling

‘Haiba’ you thought ‘Where do I know that surname?’ until you realised, “Oh your L-”

“Lev’s sister, that knucklehead is my brother” she laughed

“So what do you need me for?” you ask  

“Me and Kuroo are just friends, I know you probably won’t believe me but me and him are NOT dating or anything romantic, he’s as much as a little brother too me then Lev is” she said

“Oh ok, thanks” you didn’t have any more to say and with this newfound information, you did feel more inclined to give Kuroo a chance, and that is if he even wanted one after all the ignoring and avoiding you’ve been doing. Now you feel stupid.

You thought back to all your times with Kuroo, making you smile. You knew what you had to do, you couldn’t shy away from this anymore, you thought about the scenario of him completely rejecting you and to be honest you were content with that as if ‘you don’t ask you don’t get’ or whatever the saying is. Since it was Friday, you knew that Kuroo would be at Kenmas playing smash bros on their switches (and that’s when you would usually spend extra time at the library to avoid him.)

So, you rushed to your house, dramatically opening the door exasperated. “Kuroo!” you shout, not even looking to see if he was there, to your horror there was the whole team over tonight who were quite humored by your shout.  

You went red and then shyly whispered “May I speak to Kuroo please?” looking up at him “that’s if you wanted”

“Umm...sure” he said getting up to follow you into your room.

Kenma gave you a reassuring smile that read ‘Everything's going to be ok.’ You led Kuroo to your bedroom and sat on your bed fidgeting.  

“I’m sorry”

“I’m sorry”

You both say at the same time, making each other laugh he waits for you to speak, “Kuroo, I’m sorry for misreading the situation and ignoring you and making you out to be a complete dick, I know I’m probably a bit too late but I’d love to ask you on a proper date... one that I won’t run away on this time”

“Y/N, it’s fine. I’m sorry for not actually explaining the situation as I know what it looked like. And yes, I will definitely take you up on that date... that’s if you’ll have a ‘dick’ like me” he jokes

You playfully shove his arm, making you both laugh. You spend the rest of the night with Kuroo in your room catching up on all the things you’ve both missed out on in the time when you were ignoring him.

The date you went on was better than you imagined, Kuroo was definitely a great guy (making you feel even more stupid for assuming differently in the first place.) You developed an amazing relationship with Kuroo, which lead you to eventually become mrs Y/N Kuroo and having Kenma and Kuroo be able to officially call themselves ‘real brothers’

AN: I really actually enjoyed this one, so I hope you do too. <3

[aiura-stan]

❤️🦋🔥🌧🌏⚾️🔮🍀😇💣🤩💅🏽 ✨Katha’s Long List of Proposed Creative Saiki K Shipnames ✨

Sure, smashing names together is fine, but I like creative and quirky ship names! So I have taken it upon myself to make up as many as possible…

👯‍♀️🕵️🤝👻👽😱👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨🤑💫🍜🍰🏃‍♂️

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

~Intro~ (feel free to skip ahead)

As a Saiki K fan who originally didn’t ship anything in this fandom, I have grown fond of reading fanfics with different pairings. It’s admittedly very fun to think about all of the alternate universe potential of ships. Ships go beyond canon, and explore the potential relationships and implications of one plot point happening before another, and how it could wind up impacting two people’s lives together.

I think there’s something inherently interesting about the stories fans tell about two characters and their interpersonal dynamics, and how it plays into the source material- or goes against it. It’s creative! And very cool, and I think the fandom should have more creative ship names to reflect that. I miss the days when a ship name told you something about the pairing it was referring to.

So I came up with a bunch myself, ft my silly commentary. I welcome people to propose additional names, ships or alterations, or take this entire list and copy+ paste it to workshop it/rework it themselves. Without further Ado.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

KuboKai (Kuboyasu + Kaidou)

-Troublemakers

-Wannabes

-Legend and Legendary

SaiTeru (Saiki + Teruhashi)

-Battle of Wills

-Heaven and Hell (thanks Kuusuke)

-Destroying Angels (a type of beautiful but deadly mushroom, with an angelic appearance)

-Divine Intervention (My personal favorite)

-God’s Chosen (courtesy of Saikikthoughts)

SaiAi (Saiki + Aiura, Aka Mikosai or Saiura)

-PSIoulmates (from a chapter title)

-Destiny Reawakened

-Future Nostalgia (Yes, like the Dua Lipa song)

-Power Couple (It’s simply true)

Future Sight (It was super effective…)

SaiShun (Saiki + Kaidou Aka KaiSai)

-Sweet Reunion

-Cotton Candy (already a homestuck femslash shipname but shhh, they have a nice color scheme)

ImuTeru (Imu + Teruhashi)

-Pretty Girls Rock (come on let’s do the pretty girl Rock…)

-girl power

SatouSai (Saiki + Satou)

-Average Life

-Normal Boyfriends (In which Saiki gets the normal life he has always dreamed of.)

SaiKechi (Aka AkeSai, Saiki + Akechi)

-playmates

-battle of Wits

-Bet

-Horsegamblers

-Pushing Luck

-Luck by deduction (something like that.)

ToriSai (Saiki + Toritsuka)

-Master Worship (Jared Kleinman voice: kinky)

-impervect chemistry

NenRo (Nendou + Hairo)

-Gym Bros

-Himbos

-CompetiPSIon

-Buff n’ Buffer (Courtesy of Saikikthoughts)

KuboSai (aka SaiYasu, Kuboyasu + Saiki)

-Rule of Fists

-Delinquents

-Karma

-Vigilantes

-What Goes Around

AiTeru (Aiura + Teruhashi)

-Girl Power

-Saiki Approves

-Poetic Duet

KusuKoto (Aka MaKuusuke, MakoKuu, Makoto x Kuusuke)

-sibcon binate

-wit and charm

-fool’s gold (pyrite is an interesting and useful mineral in its own right but it’s DEFINITELY not gold or a substitute)

-Monarch Mimicry

-kill-a-fellow (like the snake rhyme)

[insert phrase meaning deceptive appearances]

ToriAi (Toritsuka + Aiura)

-Fate and Death

-Bi-Psychics

SaiSai (Saiki + Saiko)

-Rich get Richer

-Alliteration boys

YumeAi (Yumehara + Aiura)

-Love Deluxe (Let the voice of love, take you hiiigher…)

-Hearts on Sleeves

-The Love Club (like the Lorde song)

-Love Fantasy

-Love & Truth (Mother Mother anyone?)

-Gossip girlfriends

(They’d make such a good couple, just from a storytelling POV)

NenSai (Nendou + Saiki)

-ramen buddies

-pals

SaiKoto (Saiki + Makoto)

-Aggravation Games

-Roku/Six Eyes (this one’s so stupid)

-Romcom (doesn’t it sound like one. I fell in love with the girl-who-has-a-crush-on-me’s overprotective brother with a siscon…)

ToriHii (Toritsuka + Hii)

-Disastrous destiny

-Tit for Tat

-Lady and the Damned (haha)

SatouHii (Satou + Hii)

-A Perfect Match

-luckbuddies

SaiHara (Saiki + Yumehara)

-Love Fantasy

SaiMera (Saiki + Mera)

-Coffee Jelly

-Sweethearts

-Café Date

-Eat your Heart Out (to all the haters of the ship!! XD)

SaiRo (Saiki + Hairo)

-Motivation

TorIsu (Toritsuka + Arisu)

-A Ghostly Couple (remember Saiki saying Arisu chan was probably a member of the occult generation of miracle kids?)

-Fight or Fright

-Creep n’ Creepy (tbh)

-Phantasmagoric

-Grimms (Anyone seen NBC Grimm…?)

ToriKai (Toritsuka + Kaidou)

-Rabble Rousers (one of those chaotic ships, I think)

KuriAi (Kuriko + Aiura)

-girlbosses

KuriTeru (Kuriko + Teruhashi)

-café denial

YumeTeru (Yumehara + Teruhashi)

-Love Advice

-whispers

(was trying to find some cutesy equivalent of female version of ‘bros before hoes’ but couldn’t find anything not vulgar)

NenKai (Nendou x Kaidou)

-Me or You

SaiHii (Saiki + Hii)

-Unluck in love

-Fortune Chasers

-Breakdown Buildup

SuziyumaHiiisunderrated came up with a bunch of cool ones:

-Death Flag

-Worldbreakers

-PSI-lamity

(these all sound so METAL I wanna write a long, epic fic about them)

KuuTori (Kuusuke + Toritsuka)

-a blind date (because kusuke probably blindfolded him when kidnapping him… also took him on a “cafe date”…)

-Stockholm Syndrome (i’m laughing help)

ToriKechi (Toritsuka + Akechi)

-run, don’t hide (they can locate you with ease…)

KuuAi (Kuusuke + Aiura)

-Fashion showdown (I feel like Kuusuke’s probably into fashion as a hobby when he’s not studying. Aiura is definitely a fashionista.)

-Certainties (With Aiura’s accurate predictions and Kuusuke’s intelligence, who knows what they could bring about together…)

HiiTeru (Hii + Teruhashi)

-Even Out

-Grace and Klutz

HiiAi (Hii + Aiura)

-pathfinders (Some sort of Milo Murphy’s law type situation where Hii chan’s girlfriend Aiura comes prepared for all situations and they work together to avoid daily disasters in life and wind up going on all sorts of adventures together. Think about it- if you know every way something can and will go horribly wrong, you also know exactly how to make it go right…)

YumeKai (Yumehara + Kaidou)

-Knight & the Princess

MetEra (aka MerSaiko, Saiko + Mera)

-Rags and Riches

-Dedication (one thing both share)

KaiMera (Kaidou + Mera)

-(for) Love & Money (both work their hardest. One gets more money than love, the other more love than money…)

NenTeru (Nendou + Teruhashi)

-couth and uncouth (sat on a bench, couth fell off… wait nevermind wrong word pun)

-Beauty and the Beast (akdjsjdj I couldn’t resist)

YuMera (Yumehara + Mera)

-Extraordinary Ordinary

postscript

I don’t even ship most of this, so I’m sure someone who did ship it would come up with something better. So please feel free.

Several of these could be called the ex-Saiki crush club. How many characters have/had a crush on saiki again? Like five, I think. Yumehara, Aiura, Teruhashi, Toritsuka (as Kuriko), and that one unnamed girl near the beginning.

Psychic Duo could apply to either SaiAi or ToriSai, Perv BF’s could be either KuTori or KuusuKoto. Some of these might be confusing, or apply to multiple pairings. Not entirely sure.

Did I miss your favorite? Tag me with the ship name + a proposed creative name and I will add it ^^

[sscoutregimentss]

sooo, can i request sfw C, D, F, G for my dream boy Armin please, i'd prefer a modern au too just like the last you did for him, thank you bae!!

guess what, its in modern au...

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Yes, he enjoys cuddling, especially because it's easy to multitask with. Reading a book but must shower the significant other in affection? "Lovely, come sit in my lap." Assignments to do but the partner is sad? "Lay your head on my thighs." Stressed but also tired? "Could you... play with my hair, please?"

I kinda brushed on this in this post but he puts effort into cuddling. He's not just throwing his limbs over you and calling it a day he's making sure everything is nice and neat and its warm but not hot and he gets to hold you really tight.

He's a perfect human body pillow if you just need something to hold.

That being said, sometimes he just wants to be held. He's very, very touch starved (I mean I feel like they all are--) but unlike his friends he's less prone to showing it. Like it takes a lot of pressure for Armin to crack and just ask you to pet him. So it's best to just scope it out.

Actually there is a scientifically proven method to asses the mental well being of your own personal Armin, it's called the "hand on cheek test" and is coveted by researchers of Arminology. Simply place your hand on your Armin's cheek.

If he lets out a surprised giggle and nuzzles into your touch, you're Armin is operating at average performance. Kiss his cheek and ask about his day to ensure smooth processing.

If he looks up at you with those big blue eyes and kisses your hands, your Armin is at peak performance. He probably has free time, ask him on a date.

If your Armin jolts out of his concentrated state, sighs loudly, and literally digs his face into your hand like his life depends on it, please make him a cup of coffee and play some calming music. Your Armin is at risk of mechanical failure.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Armin is an okay cook. He's no gourmet but he can throw something together if needed. Eating out is expensive so he opts to cook at home anyways.

I actually have a headcanon that the EMA household has a very distinct meal planning system. It fits into all of their lifestyles, Armin gets to make plans and lists, Eren gets to have a convenient meal, and Mikasa gets to rest easy knowing everyone is fed. Plus Eren and Mikasa are gym bros so they get to uhhh easily track their macros or whatever I don't speak fit.

As for cleaning he is just a neat person. Everything has a place and he puts it in it's place. I believe Armin is a fan of maximalism so his room can look kinda cluttered but its actually really pretty.

When you two move in together the chores are distributed based on who gets what done quickest. He doesn't move in with you until he knows you really well, so it's easy. It's the perk to Armin taking everything so slow, you're relationship transitions seamlessly.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

I think Armin would want to get married, yeah. He takes a while to fall for someone, but when he does, he falls so hard he practically cracks his head open.

Most of his relationships (not just romantic ones, but friendships too) have lasted very long due to his good communication so he's not very worried about getting divorced or falling out of love or anything.

Also I think he believes in soulmates. Not in a "you're the person I'm supposed to be with forever and ever" but in a "everyone I have loved completes my humanity" type way. Everyone he has loved, friends, crushes, friendly strangers, they have all become a part of who Armin is, so he treasures all of them.

Other than marriage, he's a very loyal guy. If you've past his "person I go on dates with" stage and get into that "partner" stage he is not even looking at any one other than you. And once you two hit a certain stage, he's constantly thinking of you, and you become an integral part to his life he doesn't look over. This part takes a while, but it's so worth it when you notice how he highlights quotes in books that remind him of you.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

He's so, so soft. He touches you like you're made of glass. It's not because he thinks you're weak or anything, that's just how he is with everything. Even washing the dishes or doing laundry, he treats every thing he touches really delicately. It's kind of just his nature.

He also sees his touches as a reflection of how he feels for you, so he makes an effort to be extra gentle with you. Even if he's squeezing you or applying pressure on a certain part of your body, it feels like feathers because Armin might just be an angel.

Despite this, Armin doesn't necessarily mince words. If he thinks you're in the wrong, he will tell you. He's not gonna just tell you you're dumb in a deadpan tone, but he won't sugar coat anything either. He also isn't the type to just take your side all the time because he's dating you.

The best way I can describe it is he is honest, not blunt. He'll say it in a kind way, but if he has a problem with you, he's going to tell you, because he loves you and wants to see you grow.

[bbytetsu]

HAIKYUU!! DYNAMIC DUOS AT THE GYM

oikawa + iwaizumi:

everybody wants to go the gym when oikawa and iwaizumi goes

but let’s be real. iwa does not wanna go to the gym with oikawa lmao

iwaizumi prefers to work out alone, but he’ll go with oikawa when he needs motivation also because oikawa begs him to go with him

oikawa literally knows everyone at the gym

he even knows the girls who work at the front desk? whenever he goes, they let him play his own playlist on the gym speakers. pretty boy privilege 😤😤

they train through free weights and calisthenics (iwa’s specialty)

OIKAWA SKIPS LEG DAY hence the flat ass (iwa would never)

oikawa simply doesn’t have the patience to grow his glutes. he does 2 squats and checks to see if he has an ass

while oikawa has his fanbase of girls, iwaizumi has MAD clout in the gym. gym bros are always checking him out and trying to figure out his routine

iwaizumi has an IG fitness account dedicated to posting his lifts, calisthenics, and personal PR. he do be a lil camera shy tho 🥺

while the two have very different physiques, they have one thing in common: washboard abs

they like to do partner ab exercises with medicine balls. it’s always a beautiful sight to see, a sight that unites gym bros and oikawa fangirls

they ALWAYS stretch properly after their gym sesh, especially since oikawa is no stranger to physical injuries

hinata + kageyama:

infamous and controversial. you either love them or hate them.

everything is a competition between these two, which is lowkey dangerous. but, together, they are always pushing their hardest, which many gymgoers admire

so fucking loud in the gym and completely unaware of it

these boys got RANGE. hit free weights, HIIT/cardio, plyometrics

they usually train separately, but they’ll go to the gym together a few times a month. or they’ll bump into each other at the gym

once the two of them are together, everything’s a competition. lowkey get the whole gym involved in their petty competitions because they’re always arguing who’s better

“KAGEYAMA! you may have done more squats than me this time, but your form SUCKED! my squats were WAY deeper than yours.”

you know how they’ve competed for the higher vertical jumps since high school volleyball? yup, they’re still at it.

KINGS OF HIIT. while others do HIIT for maybe 20 min, they can and will go for an hour out of sheer competitiveness

they NEVER wipe their equipment when they’re done. disgusting

ushijima + tendou:

poster children for any gym. they have strong lifts, practice proper gym etiquette, are smart with their workouts, and get results.

ushijima carries tendou with his extensive training/anatomy knowledge. he develops and follows his own workout routine

tendou doesn’t care that much about working out. he’s just there to spend time with his beloved wakatoshi 😌he also likes the power trip he gets from just walking into the gym next to ushijima

like everyone else, ushijima suffers from low motivation at times. but even on those days, ushijima sticks to his routine. holidays? he’s at the gym. days off from training? he’s at the gym. his own birthday? he’s at the gym

the two of them not only hit free weights, but they do a lot of cardio

super antisocial at the gym. goes to work out and just leaves after.

everyone’s terrified of them. both of them tower over most... not to mention ushijima’s stern eyes and tendou’s playfully menacing stare

if the squat racks are all taken and ushijima and tendou walk in, people will leave their squat rack to let ushijima and tendou squat.

ushijima wants to help people at the gym, though. always helps people rerack their weights, but they always run away while he does it. he genuinely does not understand why others fear him and tendou always laughs about it

while ushijima’s completely focused on his workout, tendou keeps things interesting for himself by checking people out at the gym. never hits on them though—that’s on a+ gym etiquette! 

kuroo + kenma:

kuroo: *activate MOM mode*

kuroo has to drag kenma to the gym. for obvious reasons, he’s always worried about kenma’s health and tries to get him to be more active.

antisocial. they go the gym at like 2am right before it closes, since kenma hates crowds (kuroo dislikes a crowded gym, too)

while kuroo doesn’t have an obnoxious following like oikawa does, there are a ton of girls and guys at the gym who got their eyes on him! kenma gets glared at A LOT. the two of them know how lowkey popular kuroo is, and kuroo relishes in it tbh, much to kenma’s disdain.

kenma and kuroo strength train through machines and free weights. 

unlike a lot of gymgoers, they pay attention to more than just the numbers. when training, they focus a lot on form, timing, more advanced techniques (such as supersets) and challenging themselves through properly engaging their muscles.

kuroo forces kenma to do some cardio. since kenma doesn’t want to run, he sticks to the stationary bicycle (and plays video games while on it lol)

cutest fits at the gym and u can’t convince me otherwise. both of them feel more motivated when they’re wearing something that makes them feel confident

kuroo’s a big fan of the rowing machine and always tries to set personal records. imagine his delts, his BACK when he rows though..... hello 😳

if there’s something both boys are super good at, it’s not comparing themselves to others, when it comes to their training methods and physiques. respect 😌

bokuto + akaashi:

kings of leg day, PERIOD

they go together pretty consistently! even if they’re not at the gym, the two of them try to stay active

bokuto is SO LOUD. the type of guy who grunts and yells before deadlifting just to hype himself up. akaashi has given up on asking bo to quiet down. he just has to deal with the secondhand embarrassment

even though he’s so loud, it’s hard to be annoyed at him. bo motivates everyone at the gym. so full of life and vigor, you can’t help but to want to push your hardest in your workout!

free weights only at the gym, but bokuto loves attending classes at the gym and dragging akaashi to them, too! zumba, yoga, pilates, kickboxing, you name it—they’ve tried it all. the two of them are super loved by all the soccer moms and aunties in morning zumba

catch them hitting hip thrusts, deadlifts, squats, lunges and every variation. while they’re the definition of well-rounded, they definitely hit glutes more than the average guy and are proud of it (as they should be!)

bokuto has made a ton of girl friends at the gym by doing god’s work and converting girls and guys alike to do hip thrusts. the local glute guy 🍑

the best spotters. patient, attentive, and supportive

super stranger friendly, even akaashi! he never ever judges you regardless of how advanced you are

bokuto IG lives his workouts LOL and he always takes selfies or screams to the camera when he or akaashi hits a PR

[doctorbunny]

Now the DR Trilogy is coming to Switch, a character could be in Smash:

[Disclaimer: This may get long and will also casually spoil DR1, 2, V3 and Ultra Despair Girls - also Undertale]

In this essay, I want to talk about characters that might be good fits for Super Smash Bros but haven't really been talked about as much because they don't have the same meme factor. Like, a lot of people want Nagito Komaeda in Smash, but outside of being the most culturally known DR character, I can't really think of what a good moveset would look like for him; like, his whole thing is luck but that's quite vague compared to having an iconic sword. That being said, if he was made into a playable character. I'm calling dibs on the idea his moves will be centred around bombs - perhaps being a high risk, high reward character where there's a chance a move could be really strong or not do anything at all. I have no clue what his Final Smash would be though, since his murder scene isn't that iconic (at least outside of the game) and is quite graphic for a T rated/PEGI 12 game.

I also doubt the protagonists would get in because half of their thing is being average/not as wild as the rest of the cast. (Which is not to say they're bad characters, just not strong contenders for being a good Smash character)

Then there's the main villain, Junko. Danganronpa is technically a mystery game, so whilst there are other villains in Smash (like Bowser and Ripley), I feel like it'd be weird for Junko to appear since she IS a spoiler for the end of the first game. [Side note: Other characters like Sans, may also be seen as a spoiler, however they don't really spoil much outside of context. Like, if you knew nothing about Undertale, you might be surprised by the fact you DON'T fight Sans in most contexts, since Genocide routes only happen when the player goes out of their way, usually after looking it up online first. The fight itself also isn't where most of the emotional impact comes from either] However if Junko shows up with her monokuma hairpins, brandishing... idk, a despair themed moveset. It kinda gives away part of THH's final twist. Its not impossible, just unlikely to me. [Also part of Sans' identity in pop culture is being known as the super hard boss fight, Junko's design is well known and she has plenty of cosplayers on TikTok but outside of the DR fandom, her personality/role in DR isn't known as well]

Now on to the good part: People I actually think would be interesting candidates that haven't been considered as much.

Mondo Oowada. Now, I may ship Ishimondo, but I'm not just saying this because I'm biased. I don't think he's an especially iconic character, but he is from the first game, and I think you could make an interesting moveset without major spoilers. Firstly: He's a bōsōzoku, a type of biker with a reputation for getting into trouble (but like petty stuff like vandalism and illegal bike mods, he's no drug trafficking Hell's Angel), one of the first things he does in THH is punch Makoto so hard he's yeeted across the gym and knocked out. Secondly: He's got a brother called Daiya (his death is a spoiler but his existence isn't really), I'm just saying he'd be a quick and convenient choice for an Echo Fighter. There's also Takemichi Yukimaru from UDG, he's not well known, but throw a crazy diamond jacket on him and most people would understand him to be a reference in a final smash or something. Thirdly: He has a strong and unique-to-Smash theme, motorbikes, it could be included in a final smash somehow. Fourth: He's already been in a fighting game. "Kenka Banchou Bros: Tokyo Battle Royale" is a slightly obscure 3D fighting game, where Mondo and Daiya feature as a special boss fight. Its published by Spike Chunsoft, so Smash might be a fun time to reference it. Finally: There's just a lot of options/different ways for his fighting style to go. He could be a classic slow punch-y fist guy, he could use the pickaxe from 1-5 (only fans would get the reference but it isn't a spoiler out of context since, who even uses pickaxes in school?), he could wield that stop sign from his promo art, he could even use his motorcycle for fights, if they're feeling dark, there's always that dumbbell, who even knows! But the point is there's a lot of freedom, which I feel like game designers would like.

Chihiro Fujisaki. The character themselves is not especially iconic (much like Mondo) however, they do play an important role in the first two games (especially if you treat Alter Ego as an extension of them, they technically saved the day twice). IDK, after writing all that stuff about Mondo, this one feels less compelling, but I felt like maybe their laptop could be used in an interesting way, maybe their final smash could reference the Tetris part of Chiaki's execution? (since that is easier to make suitable for a T rated game but then again, copyright issues?). If I'm being honest I don't mind if they don't get into smash if it means avoiding more fricking discourse.

Toko Fukawa/Genocider Syo. She's been in multiple games, she's one of the creator's favourites (although Kodaka is no longer with Spike Chunsoft), she has unique weapons (scissors) and whilst it would be another example of an inaccurate DID representation, switching between Toko and Jack could make for an interesting moveset or be saved for the final smash.

Monokuma. He's basically the series' mascot, I'd prefer someone else but he would stand out amongst the Smash roster. The monokubs and/or Monomi could be in his final smash and it avoids the spoiler issues of Junko. I'm sorry, I started writing this with vigour then ran out of steam. but please let me know your ideas!