#now I need to actually play my game rather than writing another fanfiction

[ceru-at-hogwarts]

Your hand in his (Ominis x Reader)

Based on this musing I had a few whiles ago about Ominis’ hands. Dedicated to Reece Lavellan♥️

Fiction Masterlist

The first time Ominis tended his hand toward you was on your first day at Hogwarts. You had just beaten Sebastian in a duel in Professor Hecat’s class earlier that day, and you were lost in the massive castle, looking your way to Charms class. You had not noticed a slippery spot on the floor and before you realize it, you had disgracefully fallen on the floor with the loudest thud ever, your books flying everywhere.

As you laid spread-eagle, cursing yourself, you see a hand extended to you. It was the boy you had seen earlier walking around with his arm stretched in front of him, his wand pulsating with a characteristic red glow. He held his wand in one hand and offered his free hand to help you back on your feet. You murmured your gratitude while accepting his hand, feeling your face burning and thankful that he could not see how your face had turned as red as a beet. Ominis’ hand was cool, yet you felt a strange warmth as your fingers touched his.

“Based on the chatter around you, I’m guessing you are the new fifth year who had beaten Sallow in a duel today. I’m Ominis, Ominis Gaunt,” he said as he let go of your hand, a small playful grin on his face as he tilted his head toward you.  

“Thank you, Ominis, you definitely found me in such… situation,” you said, happy that he could not see you blushing. “I believe I am lost while trying to find my way to the Charms classroom.”

“I am also heading to the Charms class, should we walk together?” he offered graciously, and you smiled, accepting his offer. Both of you walked together as Ominis navigated the interminable corridors, moving stairs, and all obstacle with ease. He told you a lot about the castle’s hidden secrets, and how to reach any points within it faster.

“Pleasure’s all mine. Don’t be a stranger. Do let me know if I can be of any help as you navigate your first days here,” he said, his head tilted, giving you his signature playful grin as you thanked him once again in front of the Charms classroom. You smiled as you watched him across the classroom as he left you to take his own usual seat.

The second time Ominis offered his hand to you, he had just beaten you badly on a round of Crossed Wands duel a few weeks later. You were surprised that Lucan set you in a match against him, but Ominis proved to be a formidable opponent. You were even more surprised to find yourself locked in a full body-bind curse on the floor, barely minutes after the duel started. Ominis tended his hand toward you as soon as the duel ended, removing his curse. Gingerly, you accepted his hand as he helped you back to your feet.

“You fell a lot,” he said playfully with a grin. “I could hear your moving and falling even from across the room.”

Once again, his hand felt cool, yet there is warmth in his finger as your hand touched his. Intrigued, you followed him to the courtyard after the duel, spending what’s left of your lunch break with him. Somehow, you could feel a tiny seed of friendships that had been cultivated a few weeks ago started to grow.

The third time Ominis took your hand in his, you were laying on the floor in the corridor leading to Slytherin’s Scriptorium. You regretted bitterly to allow Sebastian to talk you into pressuring Ominis into helping to find this cursed Scriptorium. As the door locked behind you, you had bravely offered to be in the receiving end of the Cruciatus Curse.

As you screamed from the pain as the curse hit you squarely on the chest, you could hear Ominis shouting your name in panic, before everything went dark when Sebastian’s wand fell to the floor, stopping the curse. You woke up to see both Sebastian and Ominis hovering over you, their faces grave, calling your name. Slowly you realized that Ominis was holding your hand in his, an indescribable sadness in his face, a sadness you had never seen before.

You put a brave face, trying to sound brave even if you know he was not one to be fooled. Ominis knew what you had just went through. Somehow, he could see within you. Without further ado, Ominis did not let go of your hand but put your arm around his shoulder and helped you back to your feet. Sebastian quickly took your other arm, and both helped you into the Scriptorium. Ominis and you sat on the floor near the entrance as Sebastian roamed the room in wonder. Not once did Ominis let your hand go, as if he was afraid that something bad would happen if he did. You tried to reassure him that you were fine, that the curse was painful, but you were fine now. He did not buy it. He knew how it felt to be on the receiving end, and that there would be lingering pain for a while longer.

Not once did Ominis let your hand go as both of you climbed out of the Scriptorium, not even when he chastised Sebastian for being reckless and for the use of Dark Magic. You would never forget how soft his hand was that day.

The fourth time Ominis held your hand in his was when you found him sitting on the floor in the Defense Against the Dark Art tower, the day after your escapade to the Scriptorium. He looked sad, and he tilted his head toward you as he recognized your footsteps.

“Never again,” he said quietly as you sat beside him. You touched his arm, and he took your hand in his. He kept your hand in his for a very long time, without a word. Never would you forget the sadness in his face that day.

The fifth time your hand was in his, Ominis was laying in the Hospital Wing in the winter after catching a bad case of cold that refused to go even after a few doses of Nurse Blainey’s Pepperup Potion. You watched him waking up from a fitful sleep. He could tell you were there, the scent of the soap you used gave you away. Quietly he tended his hand toward you. This time, you took his hand in yours as you sit beside him and letting him know that he was not alone. Quietly he put his other hand on top of yours and both of you stayed together until Nurse Blainey chased you out of the Hospital Wing to let him rest.

Slowly, a quiet friendship blossomed between both of you, as you both tried to stop Sebastian from descending into darkness. A friendship that bloomed further into something more in the years to come, knowing that whatever lies ahead, both of you must face it together. That Ominis never doubted even once. Not even when both of you had to made the hardest decisions together.

Ominis would always offer his hand to you as you walked together hand in hand on each step of life, as he knew you would never ask for it first. Your hand was in his as both of you walked together to vow your life to each other during your wedding ceremony. He never let go of you as both of you faced the storm of life together, the good and the bad.

The last time he took your hand in his, both of you were smiling, remembering all those decades spent together, a time when his hair was still blonde and yours wasn’t all grey. It had all started many years ago as he kindly offered his hand to you on your first day at Hogwarts. After all this time, you always remembered the coolness of his hand that first day, and the warmth on the tips of his fingers. That night, for the last time both of you would depart for the last one of life’s next great adventure together, your hand in his.

[colonelarr0w]

Promised Protector

Sypnosis - When a particularly pushy Araj begins to make Astarion revert to a past self that he had been trying so desperately to grow from, it leaves you to step in. It leaves Astarion with a small realization -- you did care for him, really truly cared for him.

Warning(s) - mature themes, foul language, mentions of abuse (physical and sexual), Araj being an ass, slightly OOC Astarion

Word Count - 1.8k

A/N - Trying my hand at BG3 fanfiction. I have yet to actually play the game, so I'm going purely based off of the playthroughs of others and random clips that I've found sprinkled around YouTube. I do plan to write more for this little vampiric shit, so y'all can leave requests for him as well!

“Must we be here darling? I’m not rather fond of dungeons with … medieval torture devices.”

You bite back the breathy chuckle in your throat as you continue forward, eyes expertly searching your surroundings to ensure that no creature in the dark would ambush you or Astarion. 

“For a creature that usually prefers the dark, you’re quite the complainer,” you bite back, tilting your head to cast a glance at the vampire over your shoulder. He clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth, shooting you a warning glare – one that you laugh off. 

“And for a creature as clumsy as yourself, you’re doing quite well in avoiding any potential traps.” Astarion’s eyebrow raises as you now shoot him a glare. His shoulders rise and fall in a nonchalant shrug as he moves to walk in sync with you, scarlet eyes scanning his surroundings before they allow themselves to return to you.

“I am not clumsy. It was one time,” you roll your eyes, continuing forward and clenching your jaw as Astarion dares to chuckle at your side. “Rich coming from the one who threw a tantrum even after I revived him.”

“Darling, need I remind you that you dropped an entire building on my head?” Astarion whips his head to the side to face you, his eyes narrowed now in a pointed glare that only brings a wide smile to your face. In any other situation, he too would have smiled simply at the sight of your own, but your revealed teeth only make his chest twist in faux anger. 

“And need I remind you that it was an accident?” 

“In what world is dropping a building on someone an accident?” Astarion murmurs under his breath, stopping when you do. Your eyes flicker to a figure standing just a few feet in front of you – a drow. 

She turns as your footsteps and Astarion’s become more audible, curiosity painting itself onto your face as you both approach. Her eyebrows raise, and you’re not sure if her expression is one of intrigue. 

“Hello,” you say politely, bowing your head in greeting as the drow eyes you curiously, irises raking over the entirety of your figure before they curiously flicker to peer at Astarion. 

“Araj Obladra, a pleasure,” the drow returns just as politely as you, her head dipping in the same bow that you had offered her. “How nice it is to stand in the presence of a True Soul … and her paled companion.”

Astarion’s eyes roll at the nickname, you catch it just out of the corner of your eye. But you choose to ignore it for the sake of not wanting to stir up any unnecessary drama – you had come to Araj for a reason, after all. 

“I’ve traveled to inquire about your services if you’re willing to provide them,” you explain, already noticing a glint in Araj’s eye. You’re not quite sure what expression it’s meant to convey, but from the way that she shifts from one foot to another, your gut tells you that it may not be the most positive. 

Another thing you notice … how her gaze continuously flickers to Astarion. 

“But of course,” Araj replies without hesitation, angling her body so that it faces Astarion rather than you. Your eyes narrow, brows momentarily pinching together. Just what was she playing at?

“You seem … interested in my pale friend here,” you think aloud, immediately wishing that you could swallow your words the moment that you register both Astarion and Araj’s reactions. 

“It is not every day that one encounters a vampire spawn,” Araj notes, the term bringing a disgusting taste to Astarion’s tongue. His nose scrunches in that same disgust, and for a moment, a flicker of anger dares to flare up within the depths of your chest. “After all, in exchange for blood, I craft potions.”

A hum rumbles in your throat, though you say nothing. Araj continues, choosing to ignore the expression you wear – the anger that you so clearly display. 

“All I truly need is a single drop, and then whatever potion you require … well, I can brew it,” she explains, finally moving from where she stands to circle you and Astarion. It reminds you of a predatory lion, one with slit-like pupils that eyes its prey before promptly pouncing on it. 

“And with the rest of it?” you prompt with a raise of your eyebrow. “My blood, I mean.”

“I shall keep it for myself … other potions need to be crafted, as you well know.”

She steps forward, extending her hand and holding her palm out to you. For a moment, you simply think, pondering whether or not you should even trust the drow – especially considering how her eyes still dared to flicker to Astarion. Why was she so interested in him?

You can sense Astarion’s worry from over your shoulder, the feeling rippling off of him like rolling ocean waves. But even with it, you lay your palm over Araj’s. 

“There, finished,” Araj says, already stepping back from you the moment that your skin comes into contact with her own. Her eyes, once again, meet Astarion’s. 

“And now wh—“

Araj’s attention turns completely now to Astarion, who momentarily falters underneath her gaze. His worry for you morphs silently into disgust directed at the drow. 

“There’s still much to discuss,” Araj comments, a smirk just barely pulling at the corners of her mouth. “Such as your paled companion.”

Astarion glances at you, and in return, he’s met with an expression of suppressed anger and jealousy — that would be a conversation for later, he dictates. 

“He’s a vampire, is he not? Or vampire spawn?” Araj’s eyes wander over Astarion, drifting down his entire body and ignoring the way that his eyes narrow in a glare at her. She turns then back to you, once again choosing to ignore the fury that glints in the depths of your eyes. 

“He belongs to you, am I correct?”

If you weren’t angry before, you were now. Your eyes flicker to Astarion, his expression a mixture of hurt and shock – it was one that you had never seen him wear before, and with the way it made your heart positively crack, you never wanted to see it again. 

“The last I checked, he was his own person,” you turn to Araj angrily, “he does not belong to anyone.” 

Araj bites back the chuckle that threatens to crawl up her throat, lifting a hand in front of her mouth as she laughs breathily into the skin of her palm. Your teeth grind against each other, jaw setting into place as the drow regains herself. 

“Oh, you were serious?” Her eyebrow lifts, the sight of it taking everything in you to not lunge at her and promptly wedge the blade of your dagger into the skin of her neck. “It’s adorable really … if he truly believes you, that is.”

Astarion swears he could hear one of your teeth chip with how roughly you set your jaw into place. His eyes wander down to your hands, taking note of how they clench into white-knuckled fists. Your fingers itch towards the blade in its holster, but you fight the urge to remove it. 

“Does your spawn have a name?” Araj shifts her attention back to Astarion, eyeing him once again. He opens his mouth to speak, but with a speed that feels almost inhuman, you answer for him. 

“His name is Astarion, and if you dare to call him my spawn again, I will surely–”

“Now, now darling!” Astarion’s hand closes around your mouth, palm pressing to your lips as he flashes you a too-sweet smile – hoping to whatever God was above him that you wouldn’t turn your anger onto him and plunge a dagger between his eyebrows. “Let’s be civil, yes?”

You bite back the angered insult that bubbles up in your chest, swallowing your words and settling back on your feet. Astarion nods, slowly removing his hand from your mouth before he turns to Araj.

“It’s been quite the dream of mine, being bit by a vampire … spawn or the like,” Araj explains, her tone taking on an almost dream-like lull. You can already feel the bile rising in your throat.

And it seems that Astarion shares your sentiment, what with the way that his eyebrows raised and his lips curled in that adorable little scowl. 

“I’ll have to decline,” Astarion is quick to answer, shaking his head and taking a tentative step away from Araj, almost as if he’s trying to hide his body behind your own. You allow it, going so far as to then sidestep him and stand protectively in front of him – an action that he smiles gently at. 

“I’ll compensate–”

“He said no, thank you very much,” you butt in, glaring down your nose at the overbearing drow. She falters on her feet for a moment, but just as quickly, she recollects herself. “We’ll be going now.”

You turn on your heel, reaching swiftly for Astarion’s hand before promptly leaving – not once sparing a glance to the disappointed drow over your shoulder. 

< … >

“Darling?” Astarion hesitantly lifts the flap of your tent, ducking beneath it and entering. You hum from where you sit at your desk, tilting your head slightly to show your acknowledgment. “Are you alright? Your lively presence was missed. You left me to deal with … them … on my own.”

You sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose as you turn in your seat to look at Astarion. At the sight of your face, he falters, his expression softening. 

“You’re still upset over that vile drow, aren’t you?”

“Of course I am Astarion!” you rise from your place, throwing your hands up. He flinches, not having expected a violent outburst from you. 

“She … she thought that I had ownership of you! All because of what, the fact that you’re a spawn and not a vampire? The nerve of some creatures disgusts me! I mean honestly–!”

“Darling.”

You pause, head lifting so that your gaze finally meets Astarion’s awaiting gaze. His eyes are soft as they gaze at you, lips turned upward in a smile of equal softness. He approaches you, offering his hands to you – which you take without hesitation. 

“I want you to know that I … appreciate what you did for me today,” Astarion admits quietly, speaking low enough that you could barely hear him. “It has been many years since I was able to choose my own.”

You soften, squeezing at his hands. “Astarion, you deserve to have your own voice. Nobody should be able to control what you do besides … well … you.”

He draws you closer to his chest, arms locking around your waist as his face buries itself into your hair. You chuckle lightly, returning his embrace and laying your face against his shoulder. 

For 200 years, Astarion had never known the sound of his own voice. 

But now?

Now he knew the sound of it, and he knew that it mattered. 

[grandmother-goblin]

Okay, I’m gonna share some thoughts about Astarion in regards to sex and sexuality now that the full game is out and I’ve played through his romance twice at the time of posting this!

Now, I will say this as a preface: THIS IS MY OPINION ABOUT A FICTIONAL CHARACTER! My own experience colors my interpretation of the character, just like your experiences colors your interpretation. I’m not saying any interpretation is wrong or right, and if you happen to disagree with me, that’s fine! I’m not fighting you. I just wanted to share my thoughts because I enjoy this character and I enjoy writing him in fanfiction!

First, to me, Astarion is pansexual. The voice actor and game developers have confirmed this from what I know, and I’m not about to disagree with them. With all the attention to detail that the developers and writers put into the story, if Astarion was meant to be anything other than pansexual, he would be. I firmly believe that. He expresses interest in men and women both in game, so to me, he’s pansexual.

This is probably just a personal ick for me, but it feels pretty bad when someone says they are (or in this case, a character is) bisexual or pansexual and others respond with “We know what you really are 😏.” Yeah? People have literally been told and taken it upon themselves to draw another conclusion than the one given. I feel like it’s dismissive and it makes me sad that I see it all over the place.

On to his attitude towards sex in general, I’ve seen a popular post saying that he is “sex-adverse”. I don’t agree with that. At least, not with the definition I’m working with which puts “sex-adverse” on the same spectrum as asexuality such that it’s just a trait someone has rather than a state of being. Someone can not want to have sex, or not want to have sex for a long time, without being sex-adverse. (Now, my definition might be wrong, Google may have lied to me, and if that is the case I am very sorry. I’m not a smart woman but I try my best lol)

I think sex is something he used to enjoy, and it’s something that he wants to enjoy again, but it was tainted after everything he went through. I think he craves the emotional intimacy/closeness that can come with it rather than just the purely physical sensations. With what he had to do for Cazador, separating his feelings from what he physically did seems to have become second nature to him. I think this is apparent when the narrator or Tav noticed that he’s “not all there” when it comes to intimate scenes. It’s something he had to do, and the ramifications of being forced into something like that is not something that can be undone overnight.

He wants to take some time to figure out how to reconnect physical intimacy with his emotions. He needs time to build a relationship with a partner and know for certain that it’s not based on sex alone. Of course he’s gonna want to step on the breaks for a bit. It makes sense. If Tav really wants him, Tav won’t push it. This is confirmed when Tav pressures him into sex after he confesses his feelings towards it, Astarion decides immediately afterwards that Tav only wants him for “the one thing he’s good at” and breaks things off with them.

Astarion craves a romantic relationship built on something more than just the physical. But he just doesn’t know how to go about that anymore! Feeling close to someone, or showing genuine compassion or care for someone, is something that was turned against him in the past. The fact that he feels anything at all for Tav is probably terrifying to him!

Is Tav the first person to genuinely care for him since he became a vampire? I don’t think so. Not by a long shot. But I think Tav is the first person that he got to spend enough time with that he realized that they cared. I’m sure plenty of his victims actually cared for him, but he couldn’t open himself to care back. He needed to kill them anyway, so what was the point?

Tav is potentially the first friend he’s had in centuries. I am of the odd opinion that he actually kind of liked Tav by the time he first tried to seduce them, but that doesn’t mean he wasn’t manipulating them. After the bite scene, especially if Tav lets him feed on them, it has to register to him that Tav can be more than just another one of his victims. He can use Tav, and ally himself to Tav for protection so they don’t turn on him, but he also has an opportunity that he hasn’t had in a long time: the chance to actually get to know someone.

And once he gets to know a Tav who actually has his best interests at heart, and he realizes this, Astarion doesn’t know how to act. He was used for his body for centuries, so surely that has to be all Tav is after as well, right? I think this ties in with his confession and what I said earlier really nicely. If Tav still wants him for him after he confesses that he was trying to manipulate them, if Tav forgives him and still wants a relationship regardless of whether or not they have sex, then he knows for certain, for the first time in centuries, that someone isn’t using him for his body.

That probably needs time to sink in. Not only that, but taking a break from sex altogether would help reaffirm to him that Tav likes him for him. Now, this is where the Halsin/polyamory thing kind of bugs me. If Tav hooks up with Halsin, and asks Astarion’s permission, he gives permission but also says something like “is this because we haven’t done it in a while?” IT IS STILL ON HIS MIND! That’s why the polyamory route with Astarion bugs me because Tav hooking up with someone else, especially when he’s in such a vulnerable state, probably just tells him “well, we stopped having sex and now I’m not enough for them.” Now, I think Astarion is perfectly capable of having a healthy polyamorous relationship, but I think he would have to be close with everyone involved in order not to feel like he did something wrong.

I can probably keep talking about this topic for a while, but I’m gonna leave it here. Again, these are just my opinions about a fictional character! Your opinions may differ and that’s totally fine! Don’t yell at me, I'm fragile.

[lost-technology]

Dear My Brain, I do NOT need to do another massive Trigun AU right now. However, just to make you happy, I'll toss out my ideas here for "maybe someday." Okay, I'm on a Fallout-kick lately. Good show for my games, yes? A rare pretty decent live action adaptation of a set of video games. Definitely nods to fans / players there. Also been doing a little playing of Fallout 4. (Fallout 3 is the only game of the series I've played all the way through main quest sadly (maybe I'll download the classics from Steam...) Anyway, I've played with this notion for Trigun before - but only in the "if they were players." I made perks / gameplay styles for the main characters. So, what are you doing, brain? Why are you starting to come up with ideas for an actual story for me to write as a crossover?!!! Especially when I do not know if there are enough people who like both properties AND read fanfiction to be interested in a crossover AU / fusion fic - then again, I tend to write things primarily for my own delight, anyway. I was telling myself "no, these two things are already too similar, there's really no need," but then came the idea that "no, there are some things unique enough to the Fallout setting that you could really have fun with the Trigun characters wandering a post nuclear North America rather than Planet Gunsmoke / No Man's Land." I could even interchangeably refer to the Wasteland as No Man's Land... Okay, Brain, so you're telling me that in this fusion universe, Vault-Tec had a subsidiary that worked closely with the budding U.S. space program, which if I am not mistaken, is canon (that satellite-dish quest in Fallout 3 and that experimental for space-colonisation front Vault concealing the real experiment in the Nuka-World expansion for 4). SEEDS was sort of its own separate thing, more benevolent than the Vaults and free from their wild secret experiments. Their mission was open: Developing a new, yet profitable, source of power for the cooperate overlords to profit from, being a failsafe for re-terraforming the Earth in the event of a nuclear war, and being a study for close-quarter scientist-living for potential space colonies. SEEDS Vault 05 (as distinct from Vault 5, SEEDS gets a different class) saw the successful bioengineering of life forms they called Plants. They were actually developed shortly before the war of 2077, but were not considered perfected. After the bombs dropped and the doors sealed, further study showed the Plants' potential as essentially living G.E.C.Ks (Garden of Eden Creation Kits). A living answer to the G.E.C.K, water-chips, cold-fusion... Even a potential way to divest from the atomic energy that America had been depending on since the end of WWII. (Fallout, for non-players, is an AU of reality diverging at WWII's end). And then Independents are born. Rem Saverem, a rogue scientist who rebels against Vault-Tec's lack of ethics managed to smuggle out the first Independent. Poor Tesla, being a little girl she had to send out, but the Hell of the Wastes were literally a better shot for her survival than for her to stay in the SEEDS-Vault. Sometime later, a pair of twin boys are born and Rem manages to convince the crew not to make them into test subjects. Until she can't. Cue big escape scene where she gets Vash and Nai out of the vault and dies in a hail of bullets right before them as guards cut her down and come after them... And so starts the journey of pair of living McGuffins who can either save the world or destroy it in search of their lost sister. Nai eventually becomes Millions Knives, a brutal Wasteland warlord bent on the destruction of humankind. Vash is on the run with bounties upon bounties upon him. He meets a ghoul named Wolfwood, dependant upon a certain kind of Chem to heal his wounds and to keep him from going feral and a couple of reporter-ladies from one of the larger settlement-cities intent upon uncovering Wasteland mysteries.

[sofoulandfairaday]

For choose violence: 6, 23 & 24

[i've gotten so many of these -- thank you so much guys, this actually means the world to me that someone cares about my thoughts!]

from: choose violence ask game

6. which ship fans are the most annoying?

It really depends. Nowadays, probably wolfstar. Some of them are pretty fucking annoying. But it's far from what it used to be. I was here during the gold old ship war days, and I remember dramione and harmione (?) stans being the most annoying people on the face of the earth. 2012 dramione fandom anyone? the ron bashing?? 2016 jily stans with the anti-snape posts??? *shudders*

Not to say the Marauders fandom isn't toxic now but my policy is to: block block block whenever I see people who say atrocious things with 100% conviction.

Also, I just can't stand, as a general rule, people supporting wildly fanon ships over canon ones, and trying to unironically argue why they work better... There is literally nothing wrong with liking a crack!ship, I could argue that's the point of fanfiction, but don't insult my intelligence. Sometimes I see takes where the only possible solution would be for the author to read the source material again.

23. ship you've unwillingly come around to

Unwillingly is a strong word... I have read some good Tomarry fics in the last year (but. like. literally three (3). don't get excited) which is something that I would have rather gauged my own eyes out than do in the past. But then again only under very specific conditions for themes/setting/length/etc. It's not something I would ever look for, it's something I read if I know the author from other works and think “let's give it a try”... so, probably, I'm actually more in love with those authors' writing ability than the actual ship. You can tell if you actually like a ship in the following way: mediocre stories still make you swoon. You can tell if you like an author in the following way: I would rather get slapped in the face than read this ship but you make it interesting/enjoyable.

Jily is another, not because I disliked it in the way I dislike Tomarry but just 'cause it bores me a little. After exhausting any and all Snape character studies where he mopes about Lily (happy-ending Snily is not something I've ever liked) I thought meh, why not.

Oh! And you might be absolutely shocked to hear this but Belladolphus was one of these too. I was (and always will be) a Bellamort shipper, for my first few years in the fandom I was indifferent to Rodolphus at best. The man doesn't have a (1) single line in the books and we don't even really know what he looks like, but he's my angel and my baby and my darling and I accept no Rodolphus Lestrange slander in this house. Now, they're one of my favourites.

24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

In canon or out of canon? Because I feel that's different.

In canon probably Snape. The world isn't split into sexual assault apologists and Death Eater apologists, we all have some functioning brain cells and critical thinking skills, it's important we choose to stay in the fucking middle.

Out of canon... come on, you don't need me to tell you what it is. Personally, I think that pointing out the flaws in a book series is important and useful to the general public (and so many criticisms of the series are incredibly valid), but clutching your pearls because the kids decorate for Christmas in Grimmauld Place and *gasp* “I cannot believe JKR wrote her characters putting christmas decorations on the disembodied heads of slaves and thought "yes. this is good. very cute and charming."” (yes, this is a real comment someone made on the internet, i didn't write this. yes, it has hundreds of likes.)

Guys. It's not that deep. It's played as grotesque in the same way the Addams Family is. The Blacks are spooky ha-ha that's the joke. It's played for dark giggles, literally not that fucking deep. Although maybe I'm wrong and insensitive for this, but come on. Feel free to correct me.

Also, something that most people don't get about the Blacks: they weren't unkind to their house elves, or at least not in the way we think. Again, the Blacks are a bit like the Addams family in this scenario, they have a macabre way of doing stuff: their elves were all very devoted and thought it was an honour to be beheaded (which happened when they were too old or weak to carry the tea tray) and Kreacher even hopes that that will be his destiny when his time comes, like his mother before him. Dumbledore also says that "Mistress Cissy and Mistress Bella" were probably kind to Kreacher in their own way - Sirius was the one who was cruel to him, actually. They all saw elves as their natural slaves (which is bad), but they were part of the family just as much as servants were for an aristocratic family of the 1700s/1800s.

[littleapocalypsekitten]

So, I just had someone review some dumb crossover fanfiction I did... oh, probably 10 years ago or so just to inform me that they thought that my fic was “too edgy” and “seemed to be edgy just for the sake of being edgy and it rubbed them the wrong way.”  And...that’s all they said.  They were the same person who’d given another review consisting only of “Wut?”   I replied “Then stop reading it.”   (I didn’t see what chapter they’d gotten up to, I think it was a review on one of the mid-chapters).   I mean, it’s not like there aren’t other Super Smash Bros. / Hunger Games crossovers out there - and, well, if you’re going into a Super Smash Bros. / Hunger Games crossover you ought to know what you’re getting into.  It’s going to be much less like canon Smash Bros. and much more... cracky bullshit.  (Even if the fic is on the more dramatic end of cracky bullshit).    Well, now I know why whenever people comment on fics anymore, especially old ones, it tends to be generally positive / that people don’t do flames anymore because I think most people realize that fanfic authors just laugh at those. Oh, trying to hurt my fee-fees by telling me that I’m “too edgy” on a decade old fic?  I mean, this is just a hobby to us, we aren’t getting paid for it, most of us don’t even have betas / editors, it’s a thing we do for our own entertainment and (hopefully) the entertainment of others. (I actually remember telling myself “I can’t believe I’m writing this” when I wrote the damn thing.  I then proceeded later to write a Super Smash Bros. zombie apocalypse story that’s EVEN WORSE with the overwrought drama and stupid, stupid horror).  Crit is good if fics are recent / current and authors will generally take criticism on those but... something that was posted over 5 years ago?   It’s like... there is a difference.  I was reading a Trigun / Trigun Stampede fic recently.  It’s new / ongoing and I liked the idea of the fic, the premise had me hooked, but something in the first chapter bothered me as out of character.  It was something that I thought the author could make work - and they explained in a reply that it tied into plans of theirs and they needed something to happen for plot-reasons, but I pointed out how it struck me the wrong way just a little bit and how the plot-necessary thing could have happened in a different way, but said that I didn’t want to tell them how to write their fic and was waiting to see what they were going to do with it, that how they did things was genuinely interesting and morally complex and I wanted to see how it played out.   They up and said “No! Your idea is better! I’ll rewrite that bit in the chapter!”  And they did.  This was a conversation on a current / on-going fic and wasn’t me dismissing the fic entirely, just a friendly concrit (I wasn’t even expecting a change, it’s just...apparently, I helped)?     But... you know, if it had been a 10 year old some odd thing that the author was long finished with / had long abandoned, there would have been no point.  I would have been left to see what the author had done with it after the fact rather than real time and if I didn’t like the entire thing, I would have clicked away and not bothered reading it - and not bothered an author who had moved on, a decade hence.  I really think that certain...dudes?  Just like to discover things years after they’re posted and send little zings to authors who are long de-attached from things just to puff themselves up?  I don’t know.   

[lordmorzan]

Bosie and Oscar Fanfiction

Chapter 1 Part 1: Roller Derby Captain Bosie

“What is this roller derby?”

Bosie’s eyes shone with excitement for his new found passion. “It’s roller skating but as a sport! Oh, you must come, won’t you? Please Oscar?”

Oscar smiled, lowering his wine glass again. “Of course, darling. I’m most delighted you want me there.”

“Could we go ice skating after dinner?”

Oscar laughed at the image this conjured. “Goodness, no. Me? Skating? I think not. Why not ask Robbie to join you?”

Bosie’s mood immediately soured. 

Oscar sighed. “I do wish you would at least try to get along with him.”

Bosie took a moment to step outside with his weed pen to keep himself from saying something he would regret. Although, he felt it would serve Oscar right for tainting their night out with the mention of him.

By the time he was back Oscar had ordered his next drink to await him. “You’re too beautiful to be glum. Is there anything else you want to do after dinner instead?”

Bosie thought it over while looking over the menu again as Oscar admired him in candlelight casting its heavenly glow.

“Take me to the casino.” Bosie answered. He closed his menu then met his gaze, daring him to say no again. 

Oscar’s heart raced simply by the way Bosie held his gaze. “Very well. We could get a room there.”

“Yes. Let’s do that.”

After they ordered their food Oscar called the casino resort to make the reservation.

---

“I need more money.” Bosie said, coming to stand beside Oscar who was at a slot machine. “And another cigarette. Oscar, come play blackjack with me.” 

“I’m fine here. I’ll come watch you in a few minutes.” said Oscar, lighting another cigarette. He took the first drag before handing it over.

“Can’t count fast enough?”

“Don’t be unkind…” Oscar gave him more money, which softened the sharpness that had encroached upon golden beauty. Bosie kissed him then was on his way back to the tables.When Oscar reached a good stopping point on his game he went to buy margaritas, delighting Bosie by the surprise when he came to watch him play blackjack.

---

Bosie was in a good mood the rest of the week, excited for his next roller derby game and thrilled to imagine Oscar’s attention on him. The Marquess was as angry as ever that Bosie had taken up this girly sport, which of course made Bosie all the more in love with roller derby.

Before the match, Oscar came early to wish him luck as he tried the hot chocolate sold in the skating rink. Bosie unzipped his backpack to add peppermint vodka to their drinks. “Now it’s festive.”

Oscar laughed and chatted about his current writing project as Bosie changed into his skates and secured the protective gear.

“Are you able to go to the next poetry slam?” Bosie asked.

“Hopefully so.”

“I need you to go. Tell me you will, or I won’t be able to focus on this match.”

“Alright… I’ll go…” Oscar murmured. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to go, only that it was hard to say for certain… and now it would make it all the more difficult if he really couldn’t.

Bosie brushed his lips over his. Oscar returned the soft kiss ardently. Grinning against his lips, Bosie settled onto his lap. When they parted, Oscar held him closely as Bosie spoke. “Did I tell you my father called the skating rink?”

“No, why?”

“Trying his damnest to get me kicked off the team. Entirely ridiculous of course. They don’t give a fuck about a boy playing this game, and no one on my team cares either. It’s really quite funny.”

“At least it’s not about me for once.”

“There are actually two boys on the team we’re playing with today. I’m waiting for them to follow me back… I’m sure they will. Look how cute they are…”

“I suppose.” Oscar shrugged, not particularly eager to be sent back to horny jail. 

Oscar didn’t know what to expect with the game. It was much more exciting than he thought it would be, and Bosie excelled in wrecking the opposing team. He was beautiful. He was merciless. He was perfect. Who knew Bosie was such a warrior? It was rather horrific when the other captain broke an ankle after nearly making up for time lost to Bosie fiercely shoving them into a wall, but it was wonderful to see Bosie having such a splendid time.

Oscar, eating nachos and recording some of the match on Bosie’s phone for him, was enjoying himself thoroughly, and he was beginning to imagine how Bosie might look as an elegant figure skater when he was shook from such thoughts by a particularly brutal impact toward the end of the game that left Bosie on the floor too long. After a moment a whistle was blown and the rink cleared for the coaches and referee to see to Bosie’s damage, asking if he could sit up.

Slowly he did sit up, but when assisted into standing, he cried out in pain and dramatically returned to the floor until Oscar came to his aid.

“It’s my arm! I can’t move it.” Bosie said and snapped at his coach, “DON’T TOUCH ME!” Then once he was given some space he reached out to Oscar with his good arm. “Oscar. Help me. I’m hurt.”

“Of course, beloved, it will be alright.” Oscar knelt to slip one arm under his knees while the other held him at his shoulder blade. 

---

The xrays came back without any visible problems, but Bosie couldn’t straighten his arm and could only lift it with great difficulty.

“I’ll need you to stay with me. Please, Oscar. I need you.”

Love flooded Oscar’s heart at being needed. Bosie looked entirely pathetic. “Yes, of course. I love you. I worship you.”

“Kiss it better.” replied Bosie. “Then email my teachers for me that I won’t be in class until I’m well.”

“You can still go to class.”

“I’m INJURED Oscar! I’m going to be in BED recovering! Not in class in PAIN!”

“We’ll go by your apartment  to get your things then you can come stay with me.”

“No, I wanted you to come stay with me. I am convalescing; therefore, I need not be around loud, irritating children.”

“What? They’re remarkably well behaved! They won’t bother you at all!”

“Yes, they will! They HATE me!”

“That’s absurd. They’ve never done anything to you. They are good, smart boys.”

“I DON’T want to be there! Why can’t you just listen to me?!”

“It hurts me that you would insult Cyril and Vyvyan!”

“This isn’t about you!”

“Maybe I should take you to your mother. She can deal with you.”

“Why don’t you love me anymore? Why is this so much to ask? My arm hurts so much, and you’re yelling at me.”

“I wasn’t yelling! Sorry. I’m sorry. You’re everything to me, dear. If you want to be at your apartment then that’s where we’ll be.”

---

“Oscar! Hand me my phone?” 

Oscar had rushed into the bedroom to find the phone was partially concealed by a blanket. “Oh, here it is.”

“Yes and? I’m hurt. Give it to me.”

“Alright… Anything else? What do you want me to order for dinner? I’ll pick up whatever you desire.”

“Pickup? You can’t go! What if I need your help?”

“I have to get the food, Bosie. I can’t exactly conjure it.”

“Delivery exists.”

“Delivery costs extra. It’s a silly expense.”

“God, you’re so middle class! What’s next, are you going to fire your housekeeper? Your chef? Your children’s tutor?”

It was going to be a long night.  

[moveslikeanape]

oh no worries at all! i post a lot and nobody can catch every single post on their dash anyway haha. i'm sorry you were having internet issues, i hope things are working better now.

aww, that's adorable how oliver basically named himself. reminds me that my dad used to have a cat named iam (pronounced the same way as "i'm"), who was named that because when he first got him he asked the cat what his name was, and his meow sounded to my dad like he was saying "iam".

oh yeah, i guess it's true that playing the events and leveling up your cards definitely can get time-consuming, and you need to level them up a lot to win the battles! there are people who post videos of the story on youtube as well as wiki pages that have transcriptions of the text, so that would be another option if you were really interested in the story but couldn't keep up with the game. were there any particular character designs you liked best? i love riddle's, of course, but i also really like idia's design.

yeah, unfortunately my first reaction to moana 2's announcement was confusion because i saw it on twitter, thought "uhh, that's weird, what about the show that's supposed to come out this year? they usually announce movies so much further in advance too", and actually wondered if it was a fake tweet for a second... i was excited about the show but i agree that this has the same vibes as those old direct-to-video sequels, which were very hit or miss. also agree about toy story 4 lol, i basically just remember that they went to a carnival and that's only because woody's dreamlight valley house is a carousel. and i remember the ending, but that's because i wasn't a fan of the ending. in my opion toy story 1-3 were a perfect trilogy.

raya is one of those movies that i feel very mixed on, honestly. i really like raya's personality and character arc, but i always thought the movie had a lot of writing flaws that made the story and its message feel rushed and confusing. i think a big reason why some people like it is because raya and namaari are... very shippable lol, so much that i believe raya's voice actress once said she'd like for them to get together in a sequel. but i agree about the animation being gorgeous!

exactly LOL, and i'm glad for those who did genuinely enjoy wish, but i think even they should be able to admit that it's a flawed movie and that others aren't "anti-disney morons" for criticizing it. a lot of the criticism is coming from people like me who love disney movies and expected better from them, and that's why people are so passionate about creating fanfiction and art based on the ideas shown in the concept art as well. somehow the concept art did a better job of reminding people of the classic disney movies we all love than the actual film did.

i think what i like about the trolls movies is that even though they are a bit cheesy and childish, they just feel very self-aware and fun. they also have some really nice stylized animation where they try to make everything look like it's made from felt/fabric/craft materials in general.

i would absolutely love if disney filmed their musicals and put them on disney+! in general, i've always thought that more broadway musicals should do that for people who can't travel or afford the tickets. also, with princess and the frog i feel like sometimes people forget that a live action remake would have us watching a bunch of CGI animals almost the whole time... i mean, tiana and naveen are frogs for 90% of it and then there's ray and louis too. i'd much rather see how disney could bring it, and the emperor's new groove as well, to the stage.

it's too bad your book didn't seem to mention why they changed terk! do you happen to know if they gave a reason for removing tantor? i imagine it was because they thought having an elephant character was too difficult to pull off, but i agree with you that it would've been really cool to see how they did it.

Internet seems to be all better now, thank you!

Awwww, that's such an adorable story! I love fun cat names like that, especially when they're so unique that no one else could possibly some up with it. Also love cats that have such distinctive meows/sounds.

Ooo, I'll have to look into those videos and wiki pages, thanks for the heads up! As for the designs, I think my favourite is a toss up between Leona and Kalim, although leaning a bit more towards Kalim. I definitely would have an easier feeling about Moana 2 if it weren't coming so fast. I could see how they could maybe do a decent job and make whatever the series would be a decent movie if they dedicated the time to it, but the time between the announcement of the series to it becoming a movie is just way too short, no way this is getting the proper treatment it needs.

Totally agree about the rushed feeling of Raya. The story should be the number 1 focus. You can add fun stuff (jokes, cute characters, etc...) once they story is tied down and if there's room for it, but if you rush the story to fit anything else in, you've just ruined the movie. No matter how visually stunning, it's not going to connect with the audience if the story is struggling.

That's so neat about Trolls, I love animation styles that go for a certain look, and making it look like the world is made of crafting materials is genius! I'm going to have to watch them someday!

Completely agree with you about PATF and ENG... one of the many things that annoyed me with the Lion King remake was calling it live action... it was made to look realistic, but it was still all animated! They really need to stay away from live actioning any mostly animal cast movies. making the animals so photo realistic takes away so much of the heart, its so hard to emotionally connect with the characters story when their facial expression permanently bland/bored.

I didn't see anything about Tantor in it, but then again I only just quickly browsed through it. Someday I'll find time to read it, lol. I'm assuming it was to avoid making an elephant. Would have been neat to see if they had, or maybe they could have made him a different non-gorilla animal (kind of like how the baboons became a giant spider). I'm thinking their focus was too much on the main "wow factor" of the show... the vine swinging/gymnastic elements.

[qqueenofhades]

The Green Knight and Medieval Metatextuality: An Essay

Right, so. Finally watched it last night, and I’ve been thinking about it literally ever since, except for the part where I was asleep. As I said to fellow medievalist and admirer of Dev Patel @oldshrewsburyian, it’s possibly the most fascinating piece of medieval-inspired media that I’ve seen in ages, and how refreshing to have something in this genre that actually rewards critical thought and deep analysis, rather than me just fulminating fruitlessly about how popular media thinks that slapping blood, filth, and misogyny onto some swords and castles is “historically accurate.” I read a review of TGK somewhere that described it as the anti-Game of Thrones, and I’m inclined to think that’s accurate. I didn’t agree with all of the film’s tonal, thematic, or interpretative choices, but I found them consistently stylish, compelling, and subversive in ways both small and large, and I’m gonna have to write about it or I’ll go crazy. So. Brace yourselves.

(Note: My PhD is in medieval history, not medieval literature, and I haven’t worked on SGGK specifically, but I am familiar with it, its general cultural context, and the historical influences, images, and debates that both the poem and the film referenced and drew upon, so that’s where this meta is coming from.)

First, obviously, while the film is not a straight-up text-to-screen version of the poem (though it is by and large relatively faithful), it is a multi-layered meta-text that comments on the original Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, the archetypes of chivalric literature as a whole, modern expectations for medieval films, the hero’s journey, the requirements of being an “honorable knight,” and the nature of death, fate, magic, and religion, just to name a few. Given that the Arthurian legendarium, otherwise known as the Matter of Britain, was written and rewritten over several centuries by countless authors, drawing on and changing and hybridizing interpretations that sometimes challenged or outright contradicted earlier versions, it makes sense for the film to chart its own path and make its own adaptational decisions as part of this multivalent, multivocal literary canon. Sir Gawain himself is a canonically and textually inconsistent figure; in the movie, the characters merrily pronounce his name in several different ways, most notably as Sean Harris/King Arthur’s somewhat inexplicable “Garr-win.” He might be a man without a consistent identity, but that’s pointed out within the film itself. What has he done to define himself, aside from being the king’s nephew? Is his quixotic quest for the Green Knight actually going to resolve the question of his identity and his honor – and if so, is it even going to matter, given that successful completion of the “game” seemingly equates with death?

Likewise, as the anti-Game of Thrones, the film is deliberately and sometimes maddeningly non-commercial. For an adaptation coming from a studio known primarily for horror, it almost completely eschews the cliché that gory bloodshed equals authentic medievalism; the only graphic scene is the Green Knight’s original beheading. The violence is only hinted at, subtextual, suspenseful; it is kept out of sight, around the corner, never entirely played out or resolved. In other words, if anyone came in thinking that they were going to watch Dev Patel luridly swashbuckle his way through some CGI monsters like bad Beowulf adaptations of yore, they were swiftly disappointed. In fact, he seems to spend most of his time being wet, sad, and failing to meet the moment at hand (with a few important exceptions).

The film unhurriedly evokes a medieval setting that is both surreal and defiantly non-historical. We travel (in roughly chronological order) from Anglo-Saxon huts to Romanesque halls to high-Gothic cathedrals to Tudor villages and half-timbered houses, culminating in the eerie neo-Renaissance splendor of the Lord and Lady’s hall, before returning to the ancient trees of the Green Chapel and its immortal occupant: everything that has come before has now returned to dust. We have been removed even from imagined time and place and into a moment where it ceases to function altogether. We move forward, backward, and sideways, as Gawain experiences past, present, and future in unison. He is dislocated from his own sense of himself, just as we, the viewers, are dislocated from our sense of what is the “true” reality or filmic narrative; what we think is real turns out not to be the case at all. If, of course, such a thing even exists at all.

This visual evocation of the entire medieval era also creates a setting that, unlike GOT, takes pride in rejecting absolutely all political context or Machiavellian maneuvering. The film acknowledges its own cultural ubiquity and the question of whether we really need yet another King Arthur adaptation: none of the characters aside from Gawain himself are credited by name. We all know it’s Arthur, but he’s listed only as “king.” We know the spooky druid-like old man with the white beard is Merlin, but it’s never required to spell it out. The film gestures at our pre-existing understanding; it relies on us to fill in the gaps, cuing us to collaboratively produce the story with it, positioning us as listeners as if we were gathered to hear the original poem. Just like fanfiction, it knows that it doesn’t need to waste time introducing every single character or filling in ultimately unnecessary background knowledge, when the audience can be relied upon to bring their own.

As for that, the film explicitly frames itself as a “filmed adaptation of the chivalric romance” in its opening credits, and continues to play with textual referents and cues throughout: telling us where we are, what’s happening, or what’s coming next, rather like the rubrics or headings within a medieval manuscript. As noted, its historical/architectural references span the entire medieval European world, as does its costume design. I was particularly struck by the fact that Arthur and Guinevere’s crowns resemble those from illuminated monastic manuscripts or Eastern Orthodox iconography: they are both crown and halo, they confer an air of both secular kingship and religious sanctity. The question in the film’s imagined epilogue thus becomes one familiar to Shakespeare’s Henry V: heavy is the head that wears the crown. Does Gawain want to earn his uncle’s crown, take over his place as king, bear the fate of Camelot, become a great ruler, a husband and father in ways that even Arthur never did, only to see it all brought to dust by his cowardice, his reliance on unscrupulous sorcery, and his unfulfilled promise to the Green Knight? Is it better to have that entire life and then lose it, or to make the right choice now, even if it means death?

Likewise, Arthur’s kingly mantle is Byzantine in inspiration, as is the icon of the Virgin Mary-as-Theotokos painted on Gawain’s shield (which we see broken apart during the attack by the scavengers). The film only glances at its religious themes rather than harping on them explicitly; we do have the cliché scene of the male churchmen praying for Gawain’s safety, opposite Gawain’s mother and her female attendants working witchcraft to protect him. (When oh when will I get my film that treats medieval magic and medieval religion as the complementary and co-existing epistemological systems that they were, rather than portraying them as diametrically binary and disparagingly gendered opposites?) But despite the interim setbacks borne from the failure of Christian icons, the overall resolution of the film could serve as the culmination of a medieval Christian morality tale: Gawain can buy himself a great future in the short term if he relies on the protection of the enchanted green belt to avoid the Green Knight’s killing stroke, but then he will have to watch it all crumble until he is sitting alone in his own hall, his children dead and his kingdom destroyed, as a headless corpse who only now has been brave enough to accept his proper fate. By removing the belt from his person in the film’s Inception-like final scene, he relinquishes the taint of black magic and regains his religious honor, even at the likely cost of death. That, the medieval Christian morality tale would agree, is the correct course of action.

Gawain’s encounter with St. Winifred likewise presents a more subtle vision of medieval Christianity. Winifred was an eighth-century Welsh saint known for being beheaded, after which (by the power of another saint) her head was miraculously restored to her body and she went on to live a long and holy life. It doesn’t quite work that way in TGK. (St Winifred’s Well is mentioned in the original SGGK, but as far as I recall, Gawain doesn’t meet the saint in person.) In the film, Gawain encounters Winifred’s lifelike apparition, who begs him to dive into the mere and retrieve her head (despite appearances, she warns him, it is not attached to her body). This fits into the pattern of medieval ghost stories, where the dead often return to entreat the living to help them finish their business; they must be heeded, but when they are encountered in places they shouldn’t be, they must be put back into their proper physical space and reminded of their real fate. Gawain doesn’t follow William of Newburgh’s practical recommendation to just fetch some brawny young men with shovels to beat the wandering corpse back into its grave. Instead, in one of his few moments of unqualified heroism, he dives into the dark water and retrieves Winifred’s skull from the bottom of the lake. Then when he returns to the house, he finds the rest of her skeleton lying in the bed where he was earlier sleeping, and carefully reunites the skull with its body, finally allowing it to rest in peace.

However, Gawain’s involvement with Winifred doesn’t end there. The fox that he sees on the bank after emerging with her skull, who then accompanies him for the rest of the film, is strongly implied to be her spirit, or at least a companion that she has sent for him. Gawain has handled a saint’s holy bones; her relics, which were well known to grant protection in the medieval world. He has done the saint a service, and in return, she extends her favor to him. At the end of the film, the fox finally speaks in a human voice, warning him not to proceed to the fateful final encounter with the Green Knight; it will mean his death. The symbolism of having a beheaded saint serve as Gawain’s guide and protector is obvious, since it is the fate that may or may not lie in store for him. As I said, the ending is Inception-like in that it steadfastly refuses to tell you if the hero is alive (or will live) or dead (or will die). In the original SGGK, of course, the Green Knight and the Lord turn out to be the same person, Gawain survives, it was all just a test of chivalric will and honor, and a trap put together by Morgan Le Fay in an attempt to frighten Guinevere. It’s essentially able to be laughed off: a game, an adventure, not real. TGK takes this paradigm and flips it (to speak…) on its head.

Gawain’s rescue of Winifred’s head also rewards him in more immediate terms: his/the Green Knight’s axe, stolen by the scavengers, is miraculously restored to him in her cottage, immediately and concretely demonstrating the virtue of his actions. This is one of the points where the film most stubbornly resists modern storytelling conventions: it simply refuses to add in any kind of “rational” or “empirical” explanation of how else it got there, aside from the grace and intercession of the saint. This is indeed how it works in medieval hagiography: things simply reappear, are returned, reattached, repaired, made whole again, and Gawain’s lost weapon is thus restored, symbolizing that he has passed the test and is worthy to continue with the quest. The film’s narrative is not modernizing its underlying medieval logic here, and it doesn’t particularly care if a modern audience finds it “convincing” or not. As noted, the film never makes any attempt to temporalize or localize itself; it exists in a determinedly surrealist and ahistorical landscape, where naked female giants who look suspiciously like Tilda Swinton roam across the wild with no necessary explanation. While this might be frustrating for some people, I actually found it a huge relief that a clearly fantastic and fictional literary adaptation was not acting like it was qualified to teach “real history” to its audience. Nobody would come out of TGK thinking that they had seen the “actual” medieval world, and since we have enough of a problem with that sort of thing thanks to GOT, I for one welcome the creation of a medieval imaginative space that embraces its eccentric and unrealistic elements, rather than trying to fit them into the Real Life box.

This plays into the fact that the film, like a reused medieval manuscript containing more than one text, is a palimpsest: for one, it audaciously rewrites the entire Arthurian canon in the wordless vision of Gawain’s life after escaping the Green Knight (I could write another meta on that dream-epilogue alone). It moves fluidly through time and creates alternate universes in at least two major points: one, the scene where Gawain is tied up and abandoned by the scavengers and that long circling shot reveals his skeletal corpse rotting on the sward, only to return to our original universe as Gawain decides that he doesn’t want that fate, and two, Gawain as King. In this alternate ending, Arthur doesn’t die in battle with Mordred, but peaceably in bed, having anointed his worthy nephew as his heir. Gawain becomes king, has children, gets married, governs Camelot, becomes a ruler surpassing even Arthur, but then watches his son get killed in battle, his subjects turn on him, and his family vanish into the dust of his broken hall before he himself, in despair, pulls the enchanted scarf out of his clothing and succumbs to his fate.

In this version, Gawain takes on the responsibility for the fall of Camelot, not Arthur. This is the hero’s burden, but he’s obtained it dishonorably, by cheating. It is a vivid but mimetic future which Gawain (to all appearances) ultimately rejects, returning the film to the realm of traditional Arthurian canon – but not quite. After all, if Gawain does get beheaded after that final fade to black, it would represent a significant alteration from the poem and the character’s usual arc. Are we back in traditional canon or aren’t we? Did Gawain reject that future or didn’t he? Do all these alterities still exist within the visual medium of the meta-text, and have any of them been definitely foreclosed?

Furthermore, the film interrogates itself and its own tropes in explicit and overt ways. In Gawain’s conversation with the Lord, the Lord poses the question that many members of the audience might have: is Gawain going to carry out this potentially pointless and suicidal quest and then be an honorable hero, just like that? What is he actually getting by staggering through assorted Irish bogs and seeming to reject, rather than embrace, the paradigms of a proper quest and that of an honorable knight? He lies about being a knight to the scavengers, clearly out of fear, and ends up cravenly bound and robbed rather than fighting back. He denies knowing anything about love to the Lady (played by Alicia Vikander, who also plays his lover at the start of the film with a decidedly ropey Yorkshire accent, sorry to say). He seems to shrink from the responsibility thrust on him, rather than rise to meet it (his only honorable act, retrieving Winifred’s head, is discussed above) and yet here he still is, plugging away. Why is he doing this? What does he really stand to gain, other than accepting a choice and its consequences (somewhat?) The film raises these questions, but it has no plans to answer them. It’s going to leave you to think about them for yourself, and it isn’t going to spoon-feed you any ultimate moral or neat resolution. In this interchange, it’s easy to see both the echoes of a formal dialogue between two speakers (a favored medieval didactic tactic) and the broader purpose of chivalric literature: to interrogate what it actually means to be a knight, how personal honor is generated, acquired, and increased, and whether engaging in these pointless and bloody “war games” is actually any kind of real path to lasting glory.

The film’s treatment of race, gender, and queerness obviously also merits comment. By casting Dev Patel, an Indian-born actor, as an Arthurian hero, the film is… actually being quite accurate to the original legends, doubtless much to the disappointment of assorted internet racists. The thirteenth-century Arthurian romance Parzival (Percival) by the German poet Wolfram von Eschenbach notably features the character of Percival’s mixed-race half-brother, Feirefiz, son of their father by his first marriage to a Muslim princess. Feirefiz is just as heroic as Percival (Gawaine, for the record, also plays a major role in the story) and assists in the quest for the Holy Grail, though it takes his conversion to Christianity for him to properly behold it.

By introducing Patel (and Sarita Chowdhury as Morgause) to the visual representation of Arthuriana, the film quietly does away with the “white Middle Ages” cliché that I have complained about ad nauseam; we see background Asian and black members of Camelot, who just exist there without having to conjure up some complicated rationale to explain their presence. The Lady also uses a camera obscura to make Gawain’s portrait. Contrary to those who might howl about anachronism, this technique was known in China as early as the fourth century BCE and the tenth/eleventh century Islamic scholar Ibn al-Haytham was probably the best-known medieval authority to write on it extensively; Latin translations of his work inspired European scientists from Roger Bacon to Leonardo da Vinci. Aside from the symbolism of an upside-down Gawain (and when he sees the portrait again during the ‘fall of Camelot’, it is right-side-up, representing that Gawain himself is in an upside-down world), this presents a subtle challenge to the prevailing Eurocentric imagination of the medieval world, and draws on other global influences.

As for gender, we have briefly touched on it above; in the original SGGK, Gawain’s entire journey is revealed to be just a cruel trick of Morgan Le Fay, simply trying to destabilize Arthur’s court and upset his queen. (Morgan is the old blindfolded woman who appears in the Lord and Lady’s castle and briefly approaches Gawain, but her identity is never explicitly spelled out.) This is, obviously, an implicitly misogynistic setup: an evil woman plays a trick on honorable men for the purpose of upsetting another woman, the honorable men overcome it, the hero survives, and everyone presumably lives happily ever after (at least until Mordred arrives).

Instead, by plunging the outcome into doubt and the hero into a much darker and more fallible moral universe, TGK shifts the blame for Gawain’s adventure and ultimate fate from Morgan to Gawain himself. Likewise, Guinevere is not the passive recipient of an evil deception but in a way, the catalyst for the whole thing. She breaks the seal on the Green Knight’s message with a weighty snap; she becomes the oracle who reads it out, she is alarming rather than alarmed, she disrupts the complacency of the court and silently shows up all the other knights who refuse to step forward and answer the Green Knight’s challenge. Gawain is not given the ontological reassurance that it’s just a practical joke and he’s going to be fine (and thanks to the unresolved ending, neither are we). The film instead takes the concept at face value in order to push the envelope and ask the simple question: if a man was going to be actually-for-real beheaded in a year, why would he set out on a suicidal quest? Would you, in Gawain’s place, make the same decision to cast aside the enchanted belt and accept your fate? Has he made his name, will he be remembered well? What is his legacy?

Indeed, if there is any hint of feminine connivance and manipulation, it arrives in the form of the implication that Gawain’s mother has deliberately summoned the Green Knight to test her son, prove his worth, and position him as his childless uncle’s heir; she gives him the protective belt to make sure he won’t actually die, and her intention all along was for the future shown in the epilogue to truly play out (minus the collapse of Camelot). Only Gawain loses the belt thanks to his cowardice in the encounter with the scavengers, regains it in a somewhat underhanded and morally questionable way when the Lady is attempting to seduce him, and by ultimately rejecting it altogether and submitting to his uncertain fate, totally mucks up his mother’s painstaking dynastic plans for his future. In this reading, Gawain could be king, and his mother’s efforts are meant to achieve that goal, rather than thwart it. He is thus required to shoulder his own responsibility for this outcome, rather than conveniently pawning it off on an “evil woman,” and by extension, the film asks the question: What would the world be like if men, especially those who make war on others as a way of life, were actually forced to face the consequences of their reckless and violent actions? Is it actually a “game” in any sense of the word, especially when chivalric literature is constantly preoccupied with the question of how much glorious violence is too much glorious violence? If you structure social prestige for the king and the noble male elite entirely around winning battles and existing in a state of perpetual war, when does that begin to backfire and devour the knightly class – and the rest of society – instead?

This leads into the central theme of Gawain’s relationships with the Lord and Lady, and how they’re treated in the film. The poem has been repeatedly studied in terms of its latent (and sometimes… less than latent) queer subtext: when the Lord asks Gawain to pay back to him whatever he should receive from his wife, does he already know what this involves; i.e. a physical and romantic encounter? When the Lady gives kisses to Gawain, which he is then obliged to return to the Lord as a condition of the agreement, is this all part of a dastardly plot to seduce him into a kinky green-themed threesome with a probably-not-human married couple looking to spice up their sex life? Why do we read the Lady’s kisses to Gawain as romantic but Gawain’s kisses to the Lord as filial, fraternal, or the standard “kiss of peace” exchanged between a liege lord and his vassal? Is Gawain simply being a dutiful guest by honoring the bargain with his host, actually just kissing the Lady again via the proxy of her husband, or somewhat more into this whole thing with the Lord than he (or the poet) would like to admit? Is the homosocial turning homoerotic, and how is Gawain going to navigate this tension and temptation?

If the question is never resolved: well, welcome to one of the central medieval anxieties about chivalry, knighthood, and male bonds! As I have written about before, medieval society needed to simultaneously exalt this as the most honored and noble form of love, and make sure it didn’t accidentally turn sexual (once again: how much male love is too much male love?). Does the poem raise the possibility of serious disruption to the dominant heteronormative paradigm, only to solve the problem by interpreting the Gawain/Lady male/female kisses as romantic and sexual and the Gawain/Lord male/male kisses as chaste and formal? In other words, acknowledging the underlying anxiety of possible homoeroticism but ultimately reasserting the heterosexual norm? The answer: Probably?!?! Maybe?!?! Hell if we know??! To say the least, this has been argued over to no end, and if you locked a lot of medieval history/literature scholars into a room and told them that they couldn’t come out until they decided on one clear answer, they would be in there for a very long time. The poem seemingly invokes the possibility of a queer reading only to reject it – but once again, as in the question of which canon we end up in at the film’s end, does it?

In some lights, the film’s treatment of this potential queer reading comes off like a cop-out: there is only one kiss between Gawain and the Lord, and it is something that the Lord has to initiate after Gawain has already fled the hall. Gawain himself appears to reject it; he tells the Lord to let go of him and runs off into the wilderness, rather than deal with or accept whatever has been suggested to him. However, this fits with film!Gawain’s pattern of rejecting that which fundamentally makes him who he is; like Peter in the Bible, he has now denied the truth three times. With the scavengers he denies being a knight; with the Lady he denies knowing about courtly love; with the Lord he denies the central bond of brotherhood with his fellows, whether homosocial or homoerotic in nature. I would go so far as to argue that if Gawain does die at the end of the film, it is this rejected kiss which truly seals his fate. In the poem, the Lord and the Green Knight are revealed to be the same person; in the film, it’s not clear if that’s the case, or they are separate characters, even if thematically interrelated. If we assume, however, that the Lord is in fact still the human form of the Green Knight, then Gawain has rejected both his kiss of peace (the standard gesture of protection offered from lord to vassal) and any deeper emotional bond that it can be read to signify. The Green Knight could decide to spare Gawain in recognition of the courage he has shown in relinquishing the enchanted belt – or he could just as easily decide to kill him, which he is legally free to do since Gawain has symbolically rejected the offer of brotherhood, vassalage, or knight-bonding by his unwise denial of the Lord’s freely given kiss. Once again, the film raises the overall thematic and moral question and then doesn’t give one straight (ahem) answer. As with the medieval anxieties and chivalric texts that it is based on, it invokes the specter of queerness and then doesn’t neatly resolve it. As a modern audience, we find this unsatisfying, but once again, the film is refusing to conform to our expectations.

As has been said before, there is so much kissing between men in medieval contexts, both ceremonial and otherwise, that we’re left to wonder: “is it gay or is it feudalism?” Is there an overtly erotic element in Gawain and the Green Knight’s mutual “beheading” of each other (especially since in the original version, this frees the Lord from his curse, functioning like a true love’s kiss in a fairytale). While it is certainly possible to argue that the film has “straightwashed” its subject material by removing the entire sequence of kisses between Gawain and the Lord and the unresolved motives for their existence, it is a fairly accurate, if condensed, representation of the anxieties around medieval knightly bonds and whether, as Carolyn Dinshaw put it, a (male/male) “kiss is just a kiss.” After all, the kiss between Gawain and the Lady is uncomplicatedly read as sexual/romantic, and that context doesn’t go away when Gawain is kissing the Lord instead. Just as with its multiple futurities, the film leaves the question open-ended. Is it that third and final denial that seals Gawain’s fate, and if so, is it asking us to reflect on why, specifically, he does so?

The film could play with both this question and its overall tone quite a bit more: it sometimes comes off as a grim, wooden, over-directed Shakespearean tragedy, rather than incorporating the lively and irreverent tone that the poem often takes. It’s almost totally devoid of humor, which is unfortunate, and the Grim Middle Ages aesthetic is in definite evidence. Nonetheless, because of the comprehensive de-historicizing and the obvious lack of effort to claim the film as any sort of authentic representation of the medieval past, it works. We are not meant to understand this as a historical document, and so we have to treat it on its terms, by its own logic, and by its own frames of reference. In some ways, its consistent opacity and its refusal to abide by modern rules and common narrative conventions is deliberately meant to challenge us: as before, when we recognize Arthur, Merlin, the Round Table, and the other stock characters because we know them already and not because the film tells us so, we have to fill in the gaps ourselves. We are watching the film not because it tells us a simple adventure story – there is, as noted, shockingly little action overall – but because we have to piece together the metatext independently and ponder the philosophical questions that it leaves us with. What conclusion do we reach? What canon do we settle in? What future or resolution is ultimately made real? That, the film says, it can’t decide for us. As ever, it is up to future generations to carry on the story, and decide how, if at all, it is going to survive.

(And to close, I desperately want them to make my much-coveted Bisclavret adaptation now in more or less the same style, albeit with some tweaks. Please.)

Further Reading

Ailes, Marianne J. ‘The Medieval Male Couple and the Language of Homosociality’, in Masculinity in Medieval Europe, ed. by Dawn M. Hadley (Harlow: Longman, 1999), pp. 214–37.

Ashton, Gail. ‘The Perverse Dynamics of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight’, Arthuriana 15 (2005), 51–74.

Boyd, David L. ‘Sodomy, Misogyny, and Displacement: Occluding Queer Desire in Sir Gawain and the Green Knight’, Arthuriana 8 (1998), 77–113.

Busse, Peter. ‘The Poet as Spouse of his Patron: Homoerotic Love in Medieval Welsh and Irish Poetry?’, Studi Celtici 2 (2003), 175–92.

Dinshaw, Carolyn. ‘A Kiss Is Just a Kiss: Heterosexuality and Its Consolations in Sir Gawain and the Green Knight’, Diacritics 24 (1994), 205–226.

Kocher, Suzanne. ‘Gay Knights in Medieval French Fiction: Constructs of Queerness and Non-Transgression’, Mediaevalia 29 (2008), 51–66.

Karras, Ruth Mazo. ‘Knighthood, Compulsory Heterosexuality, and Sodomy’ in The Boswell Thesis: Essays on Christianity, Social Tolerance, and Homosexuality, ed. Matthew Kuefler (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 2006), pp. 273–86.

Kuefler, Matthew. ‘Male Friendship and the Suspicion of Sodomy in Twelfth-Century France’, in The Boswell Thesis: Essays on Christianity, Social Tolerance, and Homosexuality, ed. Matthew Kuefler (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 2006), pp. 179–214.

McVitty, E. Amanda, ‘False Knights and True Men: Contesting Chivalric Masculinity in English Treason Trials, 1388–1415,’ Journal of Medieval History 40 (2014), 458–77.

Mieszkowski, Gretchen. ‘The Prose Lancelot's Galehot, Malory's Lavain, and the Queering of Late Medieval Literature’, Arthuriana 5 (1995), 21–51.

Moss, Rachel E. ‘ “And much more I am soryat for my good knyghts’ ”: Fainting, Homosociality, and Elite Male Culture in Middle English Romance’, Historical Reflections / Réflexions historiques 42 (2016), 101–13.

Zeikowitz, Richard E. ‘Befriending the Medieval Queer: A Pedagogy for Literature Classes’, College English 65 (2002), 67–80.

[inkdemonapologist]

TIME FOR A PINNED POST

HELLO THERE! My name is Shazzbaa or Shazz (she/her), or InkDemonApologist if u wanna do the username but like we all have Ink in our names in this fandom so sometimes its confusing i know. My main is @shazzbaa, and this is my Bendy and the Ink Machine sideblog! I joined the fandom late, in early 2020, and I’m partial to the human employees. I think Sammy Lawrence is a big dumb jerk but also I love him, ITS COMPLICATED; I’m a multishipper but my big OTPs are JoeyxSammy (derogatory) and JackxSammy (affectionate). @inkyvendingmachine​ is my partner!

I’m happy to receive asks, though I’m pretty slow to answer and can’t always answer all of them, but it’s no bother to get a neat question! I just skip if I can’t think of a good answer. Feel free to resend a question if it’s been a while and you’re still curious. I am usually too shy to answer compliment anons but I appreciate u! I do not take requests, art trades, or commissions; I’m just here for fun. Please don’t ask me to draw specific things! (I do have a patreon, if you’re connected to discord and wanna get an early peek at my sketches: it’s over here). You can also buy some Sammy & Jack art from me over here!

I do not tag for content warnings on this blog! If you need these sorts of tags, please stay safe and feel free to unfollow me! I do some exploration of unhealthy relationships and I know that ain’t for everyone. I do not support the IRL JDS company.

-------- AU/TAGGING INFO --------

AUs I am involved in:

ESCAPE AU: My “the crew escape the Studio, restored but changed and full of lingering trauma, and have to figure out how to live with each other” AU that I develop with @inkyvendingmachine​. You can find a summary page about it over here! There’s not a continuous storyline but sometimes I do lil comics or fic.

CTHULHU AU: aka Call of Cthulhu: Haunted Hijinx, which is actually a tabletop game where we’re all playing batim characters in a divergent timeline. It has a dedicated blog over at @batimcthulhu​, and there’s also chronological lists of session summaries and related art over here in the masterpost! I play Sammy (and his "other self,” Prophet) so I’m happy to answer questions about him here, but if you have questions about Joey, Jack, Henry, or the NPCs, you should send those to the folks that play them! 

OTHER AUs: AUs that are less “on-going story” and more “me and some friends brainstormed a bunch of ideas which we may or may not develop further” include the Corrupted World Minecraft AU, the JDS Werewoof AU, the BatIM Aquarium AU, the BatIM Forest Creatures AU and the Another Chance AU. I was briefly involved in the BatIM Step Right Up AU but declined to join the team that’s developing it further, so you’ll have to check out Giandark’s tag for that!

Organisational tags you can use to navigate or filter:

➤ #the canon crew - art and headcanons based on the canon timeline

➤ #when in doubt just keep drawing - my art tag

➤ #you draw beautifully - art by others

➤ #more distractions - silly / shitposting / memes / extra stuff

➤ #we all write on the walls - headcanons or long text posts

➤ #i know you have questions you always do - answered asks

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➤ #these fanfics don’t write themselves you know - my writing / fanfiction

➤ #some of your best lyrics lately - writing / fanfic by others

➤ #an ink stained nightmare forever stuck on repeat - canon tag specifically for the characters as they appear in BatIM and BatDR (rather than speculative designs)

Characters are usually tagged, but not always for short asks or small mentions. Ships are tagged as [Character] X [Character], with names in alphabetical order.

OKAY I THINK..... THATS EVERYTHING FOR NOW!!!!

[honeybunnybeez]

If you want to you could write some C! Dream being soft around reader?

Secluded Cabin's and Gentle Touches

♡Pairing: Dream x GN!Reader (with hints of platonic!GN!reader x Tommy and Tubbo)

♡Genre: Fluff

♡Format: Fanfiction

♡Summary: It's not uncommon for Tommy and Tubbo to bring people over to your place so you can help calm them down after a prank, but today they seemed to drag by a familiar face that you have yet to properly spend time with. Lucky for you, he seems to be longing to talk to you as well.

♡Au Setting: Au where the war never happens but tensions are still high.

"Get back here!"

Despite the voice ordering them to stop, Tommy and Tubbo continued to run like their lives depended on it, and to be fair, it kinda did in this situation. Wet hands stained in different coloured dyes served as proof of their crimes and a green hooded man wearing an awfully smudged looking mask makes it clear who their latest prank victim was.

"What were we fucking thinking!?" but a laugh at the end of his yelling as he dodges Dream's outstretched hand makes it clear that Tommy doesn't regret his life choices at all.

"I don't know!" Tubbo on the otherhand, was starting to regret his involvement in the prank. His legs were starting to ache and his chest began to burn as he slowly became exhausted. A wild chase like this isn't exactly new to them but Dream's persistence really makes it hard for a person to catch a breather between runs. "Tommy, where are we even going!?"

Tommy opened his mouth to respond but a trail of scattered lanterns and torches answers Tubbo's question for him. Tubbo lets out a knowing, "ooooh!" And uses whatever remaining energy he can to keep up with Tommy, knowing exactly what his friend had in mind.

In the distance, they can see you sitting on your porch, playing with a parrot you had managed to tame while out searching for cocoa beans. Relief washes over them when you lock eyes with them and start jogging over with your bird in tow, a worried expression evident on your face.

They're quick to hide behind you when they get close enough, clutching the back of your shirt while trying to catch their breaths to answer your questions as to who they were running from this time and why.

"Dream-" is all Tommy can manage to wheeze out before he's coughing up a lung and swearing again.

"Ah," honestly, after knowing the pair for a good few years now, just mentioning a name gives you a pretty good idea of the type of prank they pulled and the danger they could be in. Thankfully, Dream wasn't a major threat, to you at least.

"Alright, alright, go hide in the house quickly and don't come out until I tell you guys to. If I die, make sure to take care of the farm animals and bees for me."

"Bless you, (y/n)."

"Your sacrifices won't be in vain, we promise!"

You give them a joking salute and urge them to go inside quickly, informing them that you can hear Dream approaching closer. Once the boys were safely inside, you tried your best to look as natural as possible with the limited time you had to adjust yourself. When Dream arrives, you can see that he's just as tired as the boys are thanks to the chase, though his stance continues to be tense as he frantically looks around for them, fists clenched tight until his knuckles turned ghost white.

"Fuck, where did they run off to?"

"Not gonna give a stranger a kind hello after walking onto their lawn with murderous intent?" You and Dream weren't really strangers per say, you had to meet up with him when you moved into the server after all, but due to conflicting schedules and how often Tommy and Tubbo dragged you away whenever he tried to make conversation, you two didn't know each other all that well. That doesn't mean that you didn't want to try though.

When Dream realizes where he was and who he was talking, he's quick to adjust his mask and hoodie to make himself look somewhat... presentable, as presentable as he can look with sweat marks and a messed up mask at least.

'Why did those two have to run up to your house out of all places,' Dream mentally whines to himself, clearing his throat and giving you a single awkward wave as he walks up to you.

"Hey, (y/n). I didn't know you lived in this part of the server," that was a lie. Dream did know where you live, he knew where everyone did but it would be a little creepy to just put that information out there, wouldn't it?

"It'd be a little weird if I just started screaming out my address to random people on the streets, wouldn't it?" You try to joke, earning a little laugh from Dream.

"Okay, yeah, you got me there."

You pat an empty spot beside you on your porch step, inviting Dream over for a bit of rest and he accepts your offer gratefully, practically slumping beside you as he suddenly feels just how tired he is.

"Love the new look you gave your mask by the way," Dream groans at your teasing and pulls at his hoodie strings, hoping to cover his whole mask with his hood. He's glad you can't see his face right now because he can feel his cheeks practically burning at the fact that when he finally gets a chance to talk and get close to you it's when he's a sweating tired mess who looks like a wreck at best.

"I'm going to kill those two when I find them," he mumbles under his breath.

The slam that follows within your home could not have been more terribly timed.

"What was that?"

"Must be my wolves," you lied through your teeth, knowing damn well that your actual wolves were sleeping in your bedroom, "they learned how to open doors recently, I think they're messing around at the moment."

While he's distracted, staring at your window to check what's going on inside of your home, you're quick to read through your most recent private messages on your communicator.

Tommy: HE'S HERE!

Tommy: (Y/N), WHY AREN'T YOU TELLING HIM TO FUCK OFF!?

Tommy: Fuck this, we're hiding in the kitchen.

Tubbo: We're making a run for it through the back.

Tommy: We'll hide in your barn like runaway children.

Tubbo: Isn't that what we technically are right now?

Tommy: (y/n), we're making a fucking run for it if you don't answer us in 3 seconds.

Tommy: 3!

Tommy: 2!

Tubbo: We'RE OUT! I REPEAT, WE'RE OUT!

"Yup," you pop your P a little at the end, annoyed yet amused at the string of frantic messages still continuing to pop up on your communicator as they make their escape, "definitely my wolves causing all of that chaos."

Dream knows that you're lying from the way you read through your messages but he doesn't say a word about it, choosing instead to take this golden opportunity to get closer to you without worrying about anyone getting in the way.

"Not really how you thought the day would go, huh?"

You can't help but laugh and shake your head, "Not at all, I thought it was just going to be another boring day with my bird, but hey, I'm glad you showed up to make it a little more special."

"Really?" Dream hates how happy he sounds to hear you say that, but he'll beat himself up over it another time.

"It's not everyday you see Mr. WasTaken himself visiting your humble home, now is it?" Oh, or maybe he won't.

"I guess not, that really should change, shouldn't it?" You can hear the little grin in his voice as he realizes the game your playing.

"It really should, but a quick heads up would be good, unless you'd like to deal with said 'wolves' I mentioned earlier."

He chuckles and shakes his head, mentioning how he's more than aware that those two 'wolves' of yours would probably rip him apart if he ever visited you unannounced.

It isn't long before you invite Dream inside, offering to help clean his mask as an apology on the boys's behalf. He claims that he doesn't mind but he would rather not take his mask off in front of you when he hasn't gotten to know you all that well.

"You don't have to remove it if you feel uncomfortable, I'll just wipe away whatever I can with a cloth, but if you're still hesitant, I'd understand."

He takes a moment to consider your offer, trying to see if you have any other ulterior motives. It's not that he doesn't want to trust you, he does, but sometimes you just have to be a little extra cautious even with people you like. Sensing no ill intent on your part though, he relaxes himself once more and accepts your help, letting his hood finally loosen and fall back to ease your process.

Your actions are incredibly comforting to Dream who can't help himself from leaning into your touches every once in a while. He watches you with his fullest attention as you wipe away the mess on his mask with a damp cloth. He loves how focused you look while doing so, taking in every little quirk you may have while you concentrate. His little crush on you that he's harboured ever since he saw you running around the server can't help but grow every second you give him your attention.

There's a certain draw to you that Dream can't fight off no matter how hard he tries, you just manage to hold a certain power over him and that was evident by the fact that he completely lost interest in continuing his hunt for Tommy and Tubbo even after finding out that they were still most likely on your property. Dream was a persistent man, he was never one to simply drop something with no proper reason at all. There was just this appeal to you that he couldn't describe and he was desperate to find out what it was about you that made him act differently than he normally would.

"Okay then, that's the last of it," he has to stop himself from letting out a whine when you pull your hands away from his mask, he wants to say something to try to get you to continue on longer but decides against it, not wanting to seem desperate. His eyes don't leave you even after you pull away, watching you rinse off the dirty cloth before throwing it into what seemed to be a bin filled with laundry. When you return to sit by his side, he can't help but swallow a bit of his pride to rest his head on your shoulder. It's a big risk to take, but at least he has an excuse for his actions if he ever needs it.

"Tired, Dream?"

"Mhmm," he feels himself melt when you let your fingers run through his slightly sweat damp hair, clearly unphased by the state of it much, to his joy.

"You wanna rest here for a while? I'm sure you could get a good nap in before leaving."

"That depends, can I still use you as my pillow?"

"Not like I have anything else to do for the rest of the day, knock yourself out."

"Then if you'll excuse me," his head is quick to leave your shoulder to instead rest in your lap and the blissful sigh he lets out escapes his lips before he can even stop himself. You just feel so comfortable to him. "I'm gonna drift off, wake me up in an hour or so, will you?"

You let out a hum in response and it isn't long before you start to see Dream's body go slack, his breathing now steady and deep as he slowly falls asleep. It's quite endearing seeing Dream act so affectionately towards you, something you certainly didn't expect from a guy who carries himself with a subtle wave of authority, but you definitely weren't complaining as you continued to play with his hair once again.

Dream would never tell a single soul about it, but this was quiet possible the best sleep he's gotten in years, if he even tried to sleep at all to begin with. The thought to just slow down and relax is never really on his mind, his head always spinning with things he has to do. However, with you, he's glad to know that he can look to you for comfort from now on, something he now realizes is rather hard to find on the server. It pains him to know that he'll have to leave in just a few moments but for now, he'll take what he can get from you and maybe, if you let him, he'll be sure to return your sweet gestures tenfold one day.

A/N: Hello, everyone! I am so sorry for being absent recently, I know the writer's block excuse can only go so far but- yeah ^^' I'm so sorry again for everything and I'm sorry if this isn't what you were hoping for anon! Thank you so much for the rquest and feel free to request it again if you want me to remake this to hopefully suit what you wanted. Anyways, I hope you all have a good day and thank you so much for reading!

(Requests are open and anon is on!)

[autumnslance]

How did you start writing for Aeryn as only a fanfic/short stories? How do you not want to Rp with her? Also how do you play multiple characters?

In the order I felt like answering and it got long so:

Also how do you play multiple characters?

Irresponsible use of my free time. I am happily single and have no kids; just a roommate and our two cats. I also have a steady 8 to 5 Mon-Fri work schedule and currently work from home, and am a natural introvert who'd rather hermit than go out anyway. So I have the time and money to do as I like right now; it's kinda novel, actually.

Iyna and C'oretta do languish in older content (Stormblood and Shadowbringers respectively right now), and only unlock some things as I slowly catch them up, and I feel free to buy boosts as needed. I do most things on Aeryn and Dark, and even then I end up focusing on one or the other, or alternating. I'll likely get to the alts later in the patch cycle.

Having played WoW where multiple alts were an expectation of that set up (and before things were shared across one's account), and wanting to replay the MSQ before New Game+ existed, it didn't seem that alien a concept to me, nor did developing stories and roleplay personalities for them as well. C'oretta was a surprise who formed over a few months of playing her. Iyna came to mind with a solid backstory and personality already, just a few new details here and there cropping up as time goes on, as I never meant to make a viera at all.

As a note, all my WoW RP characters had not only backstories I wrote, but also reactions and interactions with the main storylines, or stories I made up each expac, that were not RP but solo fic adventures. I should really make a pseud and throw a bunch of them on Ao3 sometime.

How do you not want to Rp with her?

I've fallen out of love with open world roleplay entirely. While it was much of my time in WoW, and I initially intended to, I found I didn't have the energy or interest in joining the FFXIV RP community and all that would entail. The time and commitment requirements, not to mention all the petty dramas, felt like too much. I'm fairly shy and awkward (like a lot of RPers!) and I simply hit a point where the effort wasn't worth the cost anymore. I'm old and tired.

I do sometimes RP little scenes with my FC, cuz most of us have played and written together for about a decade and a half now, but it's really just hanging around our house between queues and discussing headcanons and sometimes doing some collaborative writing (or just signing off on someone's use of a character in their stories). I very occasionally take Dark to RP events.

Some folks can do two versions of their character; a roleplay version and the Warrior of Light version for MSQ. I couldn't do that with Dark Autumn once I set her story and role in my mind, and C'oretta wasn't even meant to stick around past the Ul'dah intro, but similar deal there.

Aeryn was written specifically to be a Warrior of Light, going through the MSQ as Hydaelyn's Champion. I never asked my FC to see her as anything but another Echo-having adventurer when we hang out together, but they do what they want.

I get my roleplay fix in D&D games played with friends for a couple hours most weekends, using online virtual tabletops even before the pandemic. I've never liked Tumblr RP--this is a terrible medium for it--though Discord's worked out decently a few times.

How did you start writing for Aeryn as only a fanfic/short stories?

I go over it a bit in the one link in my Pin Post. I was noticing how folks were perfectly OK with having their own Warriors of Light, the way I'd seen folks have their own Shepherds and Wardens/Hawkes/Inquisitors in Bioware fanfiction. Having come from a different RP and fic writing environment on my old WoW server, it was new and something I mulled over, as I never wrote fics for my own Bioware OCs. Then I found out about the CGI Midlander Woman, and mulled some more. If some folks made male Meteor lookalike WoLs, why not a lady WoL using that base image? I did make a few adjustments (not so pale for one) but overall she's inspired by that image, as is some of her lore in regards to Ardbert and her own brother.

Her backstory IS set up so that if I ever DID RP her as an "Echo-having adventurer" in public RP, it all works just as well without the "specialness" of being The WoL, but my creative outlet is satisfied just writing and being totally in control of her story and development, creating her as able to stand on her own. Well, barring unexpected relationships, anyway.

My intent was to go through the MSQ again and see what an actual WoL, played fairly close to the game's assumption of a helpful, brave, eccentric, altruist would react like--not my own reactions, playing through it on RP characters who weren't actually the Hero themselves--and not have her be in a romance with any NPC cuz wouldn't that be different from so many WoLs I saw? I couldn't fathom OCNPC shipping anyway, it was a cute thing others did but not for me.

We all see how well that last part worked for me (Dammit Thancred), but it's turned out OK, I think.

So to summarize: I specifically built my characters so I could RP if I chose, but am also happy discovering their stories and personalities by writing fic on my own for them. My priorities and how I enjoy RP have shifted with time and life situations, preferring familiar, small closed groups over open world community RP. I'm lucky to have longtime RP groups I can indulge that hobby with, as well as a current adult life that lets me play and write as I like.

[pebblysand]

[writing rant - on filler words]

[yes, i should be writing castles but here i am giving you unwarranted writing advice instead. sue me.]

this morning, you might have seen me reblog this post on filler words. it's a classic, very typical piece of writing advice where the author lists a number of filler words/sentences that you should scrape from your writing to appeal to publishers or make your prose seem more professional or whatever. i reblogged it saying: 'i disagree with most of these, don't listen to people who tell you how to write.' which a couple of you liked (cheers!) but upon reflection, i feel like this needs a bit more of a nuanced response, which is what i'm doing now. i'm not reblogging the post again because it's long and this is going to be long, and tumblr isn't necessarily text-friendly but do go read it first if you fancy.

now, as far as i'm concerned, the truth isn't that i think filler words are amazing and that you should keep them all, love them all equally like your precious children. of course, you should watch out for them. just like we do when we speak, we fill our written sentences with a lot of pointless fluff that brings nothing to our message. when used "wrongly," filler words slow down sentence pacing, hurt the rhythm of your prose, your ability to choose the correct lexicon for certain actions, etc. they're not always good, and you should definitely be aware of them in your prose.

however, what i dislike about these types of posts is the way people dispensing this "writing advice" make whatever they're saying sound like some sort of golden rule. like: if you don't do this, your story will be shit and never get published. i don't know much about the publishing world but i have written 300,000+ words of mildly successful fanfiction over the years, so i do know a thing or two about writing as a craft, if not a business. and, here's the raw, honest truth: believing that anything about this crazy art we're making is set in stone? that is the kind of thing that will make you a shit writer.

now, if you're following this blog, i'm guessing you like my writing, are probably quite familiar with it. then, this will not be a surprise to you: while i don't pretend to hold any sort of truth on the matter, god knows, i use a shit ton of filler words. by which i mean: a SHIT TON. take any paragraph of any fic i've ever written and i'm sure i could point you to some random word "botox" in pretty much every sentence. this post itself, if you're paying close attention, is also filled with them. and, another surprise: i know that. it's by design.

and, that, my friends, is what matters most. you should watch out for filler words, be aware of them, but if they end up in your final draft, it has to be for a reason. in fairness, i think that's where most of those writing advice posts get it "wrong" and why they annoy me so much: they tell part of the story, but not all of it. they talk about words in a vacuum like our words only exist to be pretty on a page, rather than to share something with other human beings.

now, as a disclaimer, i should preface this by saying that: it depends what kind of writing you're into. this is all very related to personal taste. as a reader, i tend to prefer stories that are told from a very distinct pov, where the story is told by a character rather than by the author. this preference also informs my writing. to me, a story can be first person or third person, it doesn't really matter, but i like a good old restrictive, terribly biased and unreliable pov in a story. i'm someone who 100% favours character over plot (although plot is terribly important too, don't get me wrong) and i like a person to tell me a story, not a robot.

in that context, "filler words" aren't just sentence "botox," they tell a story, too. they tell you who your narrator is. in a post like this, they inform you that i probably speak quickly, that i'm somewhat bubbly but assertive, that my sentences are long and rhythmic, and when i write "in fairness" rather than "to be fair," or "to be honest," it even hints to the fact that my main dialect is hiberno-English. in a work of fiction, filler words can tell you mountains about where your character is from, what they think, feel, etc... are their sentences short and devoid of any filler words? perhaps, they are extremely poised and self-confident, or perhaps they are so detached from what is happening that they are actually on the verge of an emotional breakdown. are their sentences filled with "just"s and "you know"s and "slightly"s and "really"s? perhaps they are insecure, unsure of what their next move will be.

filler words are also where style and pet peeves happen. you'll notice that i use "and:" and "like:" as sentence openers relatively often. it depends on the work and how i feel about the character, but it is something i enjoy playing with. i use 'rather' and 'perhaps' frequently, too, frankly for no other reason than the fact that i like the sound of them. not everyone does, obviously, but since i'm the queen of my own fictional kingdom, i get to authoritatively decide to abuse them. that og post said to not use "that" as a conjunction (prefer: "he said he wouldn't," to: "he said that he wouldn't). man, aside from dialogue, i hate "he said he wouldn't" with a passion. i always use "that" as a conjunction and detest the way my sentences sound without it. i find the absence of "that" clunky and unclear. i don't know whether it is right or wrong, but that's how i roll. the people of the internet seem to like it but if they don't, they're more than welcome to read the work of another author who doesn't use "that" as a conjunction. i'm not holding a gun to their head.

however, as you've probably guessed from the above, this doesn't mean that you shouldn't be aware of your filler words. both yours and your characters'. know what you like, what you don't like, how your narrator narrates and how your characters speak. know how you speak and write, what your strengths and weaknesses as a writer are. edit your work critically. this being said, scraping all the words that make the work special is ludicrous. you would be scraping your work of so much personality that could actually be what makes it unique. writing is an art, not a game of exactitude. if the goal was to write everything perfectly, you could ask siri or alexa to write your short story for you. where you need to be careful with filler words is for them to serve your story, rather than hurt it. the filler words? they need to be carefully considered, questioned, and you need to make sure that they are intentional, not accidental.

and, of course, that's the hard part. that's the part of the writing advice these posts never get into because making blanket statements in the world is always easier than saying: it depends. creating a work of art out of thin air isn't as easy as cmd+f-ing all the "just"s and hitting "delete all." it's noticing which of those filler words you overuse, and keeping them in the back of your mind while you edit, taking a lot of them out. it's listening to your beta/editor when they tell you to take more out. it's also sitting for hours in front of your word document, contemplating every sentence and asking: should i use "just" here? does it show anything? does it have a purpose? does it sound right? let me read this out loud. and, what about the "eventually" there? does that sound natural? is that more of dialogue thing?

that's the line of critical thinking that will make you write better. and, don't get me wrong, posts like the above are useful as a guide in the way that they tend to list the most frequently used filler words, which you can then use as an inspiration to spot these idiosyncrasies in your writing, decide whether to scratch them or use them creatively. but: i'm sorry to say, there's no golden rule to it all. just hard work and practice. trust yourself.

i hope this helps.

[mammoney-honey]

Summoning Circles: What to Offer the Brothers GN!MC

MC doesn’t need to set up anything to summon them since they have their pact but sometimes its just nice to add a bit of drama. It’s also a good way to get the brothers to accept Just Because gifts. So what would would MC lay out as an offering for their favorite demon in their pentagram?

Lucifer

Lucifer is hard to get gifts for because hes a man of few words and fewer guilty pleasures

MC does their best to keep an eye out for things he does like and finally sets things up when they feel that Luci needs a bit of a break

They mostly offer things that would make for a good date night but with one small exception: special gourmet dog treats 

He won’t admit it, he says Cerberus is just a well trained guard dog, but that big boy gets only the best and MC knows that Lucifer will appreciate the gesture

The rest is all about setting the mood so Lucifer couldn’t possibly say no to staying

The first thing to accomplish this is the finest bottle of hellfire aged wine, a special request put through to Diavolo for whatever he thought Lucifer would like most

And to accompany a good drink you need some good food as well. A charcuterie board supplied with recommendations from Barbatos and Luke. The little guy should be called a mouse rather than a dog with how much he loves cheese. It took a long time for him to stop talking about it

One of the things that MC looks most fondly on of their time with Lucifer was quiet nights in listening and dancing to new music. They didn’t always share the same tastes but they were always willing to give it a go

So MC would find a vinyl, the only thing Lucifer would listen to the purest that he is, of their most recent favorite song or band so that they could share it with him

The last thing offered is that which Lucifer would want above all else as his own, MC

They can think of nothing else that would gain Lucifer’s attention more than offering their full and complete self. His pride could never allow him to deny taking MC when they offer themselves so willingly

He appears in full demon form, he can’t think of who would be ballsy enough to try and summon him and he has to pull back on his full power once he sees its MC

“MC, my dearest love, the pageantry is appreciated but overall unneeded. All you ever have to do is call my name, all I wish is to hear my name on your lips. But now that I’m here lets make sure you are screaming it”

Mammon

He is another one who is hard to gift things to but for the opposite reason as Lucifer. He likes too many things, wants everything and so it makes it impossible to tell what would actually mean something to him

MC tries their best to lay out things that will show how much they love and appreciate their favorite demon

Money of course is the first thing that is set out but not just spare Grimm or human cash

No, MC will put gift cards out for Mammon’s favorite places or for a date that they can have together. It feels more personal that way and they hope it shows that they pay attention to the things he likes

Mammon has a wardrobe to rival Asmo’s but he insists that it all has to do with his job as a model. Gotta keep up appearances and all that yanno. Hes just a label whore though and everyone knows it

He also just melts at the idea that MC might be thinking of what he would look good in so if they put out a new outfit or accessory, even if its just new sunglasses or a belt, he just about explodes

He will scoff and say that hes not sure if human styles are really his thing but of course puts whatever it is on quickly

Next would be a very special edition of the TSL dvds, a directors cut that even Levi couldn’t get his hands on. He has watched it with MC so many times he could practically recite it but they were always borrowing from Levi so it was about time to start wearing out their own copy

The last two things are more personal, something that shows just how much MC thinks of and misses being with him

The first of that is MC’s favorite set of pictures they took with Mammon, a silly photo booth strip that captured their first kiss. MC had surprised him on the first snapshot and it showed a progression of him getting redder and redder before finally kissing them back

Lastly is a page from their diary, as intimate an offering as they can possibly give. Its from a day where the longing for Mammon was at its strongest and filled with sweet words of how much they miss their first man

Mammon is freaked out at first thinking he is being summoned by another witch and is confused to see MC before taking it all in

“H-hey you don’t have to go through all this. I mean of course The Great Mammon won’t say no to the the things he deserves but ... b-but you only ever need to say my name, there is no where I’d rather be than with you”

Levi

Levi has a bad habit of just buying whatever he wants but considering that he has so many fandom’s its not hard to find some piece or another he doesn’t have 

MC feels like his brothers don’t give much thought to his gifts though, just typing in a name they know and getting whatever they find. They want to give him something more personal and can’t just be bought and shipped in two days

MC starts to watch a lot of craft, cooking and cosplay YouTubers to try and put everything together themselves. It felt more genuine that way at least to them

MC tries to keep things diverse, hitting a couple of Levi’s favorites but mostly avoiding anything Ruri related since they are afraid of messing it up lmao

Instead they focus on the anime’s and games that they watched and played together. Almost like a collection of inside jokes that they are using to summon him

The first thing MC sets out is a prettily decorated plate of macrons, doing their best to replicate the colors and flavors described in the one bakery time management game they always played

MC also went through Levi’s super secret fanfiction accounts I will fight you he is totally a fic writer because he has so many self inserts and fix it fics  and wrote out comments for every single thing he had written. They printed them out not because they didn’t think he read them but to show that they were the ones that left them

Along with the comments MC also created art for Levi’s most beloved OC, creating cute enamel pins of them in chibi form with the cannon character he paired them with

 The last two things came as a sort of combo, a couples cosplay from the romance anime they had watched together. The protagonist had been a shut in otaku who had found his soulmate when they were reborn into his world and Levi had latched onto him immediately 

It had taken a lot of blood sweat and tears trying to get both of the outfits cannon perfect but damn it MC was not going to settle for anything less

At one point they forgot they were making it for Levi and just got caught up in the the drama that was finding the perfect buttons and trim color

Overall they were so proud of the sewing skills they just wanted to call on him the moment they were done so he could see but they got a hold of themselves so they could set up what they had planned

Levi was summoned into the circle still wearing his headset and fingers tapping at a controller that had been left behind

His demon side comes out at having been cost a serious match from the sounds of it but his anger turns to confusion at seeing MC and then into wide eyed amazement at all of the things in front of him

He started to gush about every single thing he saw before he realized that MC was there beaming at him 

“You went through all this trouble to prove that you aren’t a normie and yet you summon me this way?? J-just say my name like you’re supposed to! I kind of like hearing you say it anyway ...”

Satan

Satan surprisingly doesn’t like being the center of attention and thus doesn’t really like surprises or receiving gifts. He also doubts that anyone understands him enough to give him what he wants cocky ass that he is

The idea for the things to set out in his summoning circle came to MC when discussing love potions with Satan and Solomon one day. They were talking about how smell plays such a strong part and Satan let slip some of the things he might smell after MC listed some of theirs

So while MC doesn’t have much, well any, experience in magic or potions they do want to try to stir up those feelings those smells produce in Satan

The first thing he had said came as a surprise to no one, the smell of parchment and ink

MC used each of them as their own separate offering on the pentagram. They used a fancy new calligraphy quill dipped in green ink that matched his eyes to write a long love note for him

The ink was still wet on the parchment that they set down and left the quill and remaining ink as the second gift

The next thing he mentioned was another one MC expected: tea leaves

So MC just walked into their local tea shop and let their nose lead the way. Anything that caught their attention or made them want to keep smelling they bought, creating their own special blend just for Satan

It wasn’t necessarily something that Satan would say for himself but MC had started to burn different candles in their room when he would come to rant when he was angry, trying to find a scent that he could associate with being calm when they helped him work through the anger

Whatever candle seemed to work the best is the candle that MC sets out for him. Probably something woodsy, pine or balsam or even sandalwood. It brings back good memories for MC, kissing all those worries of his away and hopes it does the same

The last item is one that made MC blush when they heard Satan admit it, he had liked the scent of their shampoo

He hadn’t said that specifically but he had closed his eyes and described a scent that he couldnt place but that he adored and when MC was taking their shower that night it clicked 

It might have been a little lame, leaving a bottle of shampoo out for Satan but MC knew that when he realized what that scent he loved so much was that he would get the cutest blush

They weren’t disappointed when they summoned Satan. He hid his shock of being summoned this way well, taking his time to walk around the circle and examine each offering. He immediately knew where they had gotten the inspiration and teased them about being such a sap

He stopped when he got to the shampoo though, not sure how that fit into the equation until he smelled it. It dawned on him and there was that blush that he tried to hide by turning his face away

“You always did like to make things difficult on yourself didn’t you? I’m only ever a call away for you kitten. Now come here and let me really breath you in, you’re simply intoxicating to me and I can’t stay away.”

Asmo

Asmo is never shy about when he doesn’t like gifts that people have given him but he has only ever cherished what MC has gotten him. Every small trinket and gift he has on full display in his room and he will wear something that MC got them when he misses them the most

He also will do it when he wants to bother his brothers and show off that MC simply lavished him in gifts (Mammon and Levi are the only ones who fall for it lmao)

So MC decides to offer Asmo things that will allow him to parade around their love for him, things to keep them close when MC isn’t there

The first thing that MC gets Asmo is new nail polish, a color that they agonized over finding because they wanted it to match his eyes perfectly

Asmo has a very organized planner, its how he keeps track of all the events he is invited to, when he has dates, who hes slept with, who hes going to sleep with and everything in between

MC commissions custom made stickers for him so he can decorate the pages of his planner even more. Specifically a whole sheet of cute stickers of them together he could use for when they planned date nights

The next thing was something for Asmo’s room which he was always changing and refreshing so it looked forever interesting for Devilgram pics

MC gets a large print of Asmo’s favorite picture of them together and puts it in a beautiful frame that perfectly matched his favorite decorating style. Perfect to show to the world that Asmo was their favorite demon and that they looked so good together

And so they can take even more pictures of themselves together MC buys a Polaroid camera for Asmo. His phone will always be his favorite thing to take pics on but this way they could have them printed instantly and it continues to let him be trendy

Lastly MC gets Asmo a necklace. A dainty rose gold chain that he can wear with practically everything and with a diamond accented heart shaped locket that could easily be tucked away if needed. It was an enchanted locket, thanks to the help of Solomon, and it warmed when MC was thinking of him

Its the first thing Asmo grabs and quickly puts on, showing it off for MC

“Oh MC you are simply the cutest thing I have ever seen~ I’m sorry I don’t have something to give you in return. I hope the fact that my heart beats only for you will make up for it, now come here I’ve been without kisses too long.”

Beel

Its SO hard not to just grab whatever is in the kitchen at the time and throw it in the summoning circle and call it a day for Beel

But he is more than just his hunger and MC is always striving to show him that they understand that 

It was harder than expected, just because asking anyone what Beel might want always got them food answers. They thought Belphie might be helpful but only got told “he probably just wants a nap ... its what I would want”

MC starts to think of all the most special moments they had with Beel, trying to think what about them made them so memorable and they knew for a fact that it wasn’t the food

The first thing they come up with is a banner that MC made to cheer him on at one of his games. It had gotten a little tattered and torn because it had rained that day but they just couldn’t let it go

Mostly because Beel after winning had ran up into the stands and kissed them for the first time. It wasn’t as if they hadn’t ever kissed but they had always been the one to make the first move but this time Beel had come to them. Of course in the biggest gesture possible

It was cheating a little bit offering a cookbook, it was still food related, but it felt better than putting in actual food 

This particular cookbook was special to MC too, they had spent several months trying to recreate one of the recipes from it down in the Devildom when MC didn’t have it. Even their D.D.D had been no help in finding the human world dish they were trying so hard to recreate

It had finally been Beel who had found someplace that sold the food they had been craving. He had even been able to bring it back completely untouched just so that they could have it all though he didn’t complain when they offered him several bites from their fork

MC pulls the next thing from their own shelves at home, a well read copy of Lord of the Flies. The spine cracked and little notes about their favorite parts scribbled in the margin

It was one of the human novels that Satan had and one of MCs favorites from school. Beel had caught them reading it and thought the title was ironic but the more he watched MC get engrossed in reading the more curious he got

He eventually asked MC to read it to him, he actually liked books even if most didn’t take him for the type it was just that he had a hard time actually reading himself. He always got distracted by food but audio books always worked well for him when he was working out, it turned out to be even better when MC read to him when he was eating

It was the best of both worlds for him and he found the story actually pretty funny, slightly worrying MC but they figured they couldn’t blame a demon for getting enjoyment out of a story like that. He did find their lack of food concerning though so at least there was that

One of the things that Beel often complained about when MC was living in the devildom was that when he went to go eat they weren’t always there. Sure Beel would ask them to tag along whenever possible but it didn’t always happen. He would call them from the kitchen at times and tell them that he missed them

MC was sure the other brothers would have something to say about it but knew that Beel would genuinely enjoy the next thing MC offered. Amagnet with his favorite picture of them. It was MC caught in a candid he took, mid bite in a dessert he had made them and his hand could just be seen wiping some whipped cream off MC’s cheek

It was a way that Beel could have MC with him at his favorite place every time

The last thing that MC laid out was something that was inspired by Beel. He had once given them a coupon for a free meal by him and they had thought it was just about the cutest thing ever

They made him a whole coupon book of favors ranging from cooking any meal he wanted to recording his workouts for him and of course lots of coupons for hugs and kisses

Beel isn’t used to being summoned at all so hes slightly disoriented when he finds himself suddenly in the human world. As soon as he sees MC though its nothing but smiles and he doesn’t even notice the gifts until after

“MC did you know I was thinking about you? Sometimes I just say your name and hope you will appear ... so if you ever think of me just say my name. I want to be here, even if its during dinner” 

Belphie

Belphie is not one to beat around the bush at all. He is a creature of habit and just wants more of the same things that he already has. Dont fix something if its not broke right?

So its fairly easy to fill his summoning circle with things that he loves, just adding to his ever growing collection of happy nap time things

That isn’t to say that MC just grabs whatever blanket or pillows they have laying around, they still want it to be special for him

So yes the first two things they offer to Belphie is a pillow and blanket, there was never going to be anything else but MC spent a long time putting their love into finding just the right ones for him ... and still couldn’t find what they wanted

MC used this as an excuse to create something themselves for their sleepy boy. They dived deep into youtube and pintrest and spent more money than they care to admit on materials until finally they made what they wanted

The first was a quilt large enough for three cause the twins like to make MC a sandwich in a cow print pattern that matched his pillow and demon form marks, lined with the softest fabric she could find that was the same purple as his eyes 

His pillow was another quilted design, this time of a cloudy night sky with a sleepy cow jumping over the moon. MC stitched his name in pretty gold thread on the back long with a sweet ‘I love you’

There was one last fluffy thing to give to him, this one MC knew he would probably scoff and tease them about but they couldn’t help it. They saw the angry looking cow plushie and just could not walk away 

They have actually been sleeping with it when they miss him most and even if he doesn’t like the plushie the fact they have slept with it so much will make him a bit fonder of it

Even though they were pretty sure that Belphie knew every star in the sky MC couldn’t help but get a book with stories about the constellations. He might already know them all but they thought that he might still enjoy hearing them read to him as he drifted to sleep

The last thing MC has to offer him is also star related. A star map of the day that they made their pact. It was the day that MC had fully forgiven everything that had happened before and their relationship had truly began

When Belphie was summoned he was half asleep but knew who it must be even in his sluggish state. He gave a big yawn and looked around at all the things around him 

“At least things are already set up for the perfect nap, including having you. MC next time just say my name alright? Its much more of a drag this way ... and I want to know when you are dreaming of me”

[botwstoriesandsuch]

Kip v Age of Calamity

For someone who writes tough shit on Age of Calamity, you sure don’t see me writing a better story. So maybe I should stop complaining and be satisfied with what was given to me. 

...or...

...maybe we can dedicated a few hours of my time to spite an ask. 

Even though the entire argument of “why are you mad if you can’t write a story yourself” is inherently flawed and pointless considering that’s the equivalent of telling me I should chug spoiled milk because I’ve never milked a cow, I’ll fucking step up to the plate here, I’ll put my money where my mouth is. 

So here is Part 1 of your residential Kip approved rewrite of Hyrule Warriors: Age of Calamity. Or as I like to call it: 

Ok so before I get into it, a couple things I wanna establish. First, I know I just said I’m doing this out of spite, but I’m actually also doing this for fun. I really enjoy and am passionate about the writing process, so if you were looking for an angry rant about how terrible everyone’s opinions are about everything, this isn’t that. I don’t think that I am a better writer than anyone, or than the professionals that made this game, or that I am somehow superior to Nintendo. I am someone with the benefit of hindsight, I don’t have the constraints of producers and mandated directives and executives rubbing their hands in the story to make it more marketable or dumbed down or any of the other chaos that goes into crafting a videogame. So while obviously I think the people involved in this could have done a much better job, this isn’t a bash to say, “look how easy it is to make a story” because there’s a ton of unseen drama that goes into development that I have the luxury of avoiding, and it’s a miracle that any games are coherent and enjoyable in the first place. I’m just a lil Kip doing a fun lil exercise. 

This little series is also not going to be a fanfic. I’m going to be telling the story chronologically as if you were playing for yourself, but it’s going to be from my omniscient perspective because 1) I need to relate the story to the gameplay 2) That would take way too much time to actually make this into a fanfiction as it already takes a hell of a lot of time to even plan out the beats of this rewrite and 3) This is less going to be a telling of a story, and more of a fun little exploration on the Three Act Structure and The Hero’s Journey. In fact, I am going to try and keep the given story of Age of Calamity as intact as possible. 

The general ending is going to be the same, the characters used are going to remain roughly unchanged, (there will be no new characters, or removal of characters) and characters that live or die and where they end up are going to be mostly the same with how the original game is written. I know, I know, we all would love to see the Champions die brutally or to get us that sweet sweet Link angst or to have a game with multiple endings. And even though I personally would change some of those premises in Age of Calamity, I’m going to strive to keep it all as intact as possible, just to prove wrong the misconception that the story was only bad because of the writer’s choices for the general arc. I am a firm believer that biggest weaknesses of this game are in its methods of conveying its story, a problem in the storytelling process, and not (necessarily/only) the story product itself. 

If you want to use any of the ideas that I present, go for it! I release them into the public domain, I have no plans whatsoever to write a fanfic for this myself, in fact I already have my own separate Pre-Botw fic story that I am pouring myself into, so I give the people full permission to take these ideas off of me. 

Alrighty! With all that out of the way, let’s get into:

HERE IS THE VERSION IN A GOOGLE DOC FORM BECAUSE TUMBLR HATES YOU MOBILE PEEPS

Spoilers! Obviously. I’m going to act on the assumption that you know the full story of Age of Calamity to save myself some time, capiche?

Ok so we start out the game roughly the same, with eggbot being chased and forced to time travel into a portal. But, there is going to be some important differences in details. 

We have the part of the scene where Zelda awakens her powers, and at the same time, something else in Hyrule Castle glows with the same aura. However, this glow is not coming from the Princess’ Tower, but instead, the camera pulls back from the fields of Fort Hateno, sweeps over Hyrule (where you can see the Guardians and the sense of destruction and all that) and the camera eventually flies over Castle Town, then within the Castle, weaving through the halls, until the camera stop and focuses on the entrance of a destroyed room, slowly creeping in. It’s a room that’s been demolished, stone rubble from Guardian blasts ruin the floor and cave in from the ceiling, there’s a small fire in the corners of the room, and from the props that you can make out, it seems to look like some study or office of some sort. The room is small, but domed and circular, signifying that it’s of a bit more importance than you might think . The desks and books and all buried beneath this collapsed stone brick. But as the camera focuses on that pile of rocks, from within that rubble, you see that same glowing aura that Zelda has, glowing brighter and brighter until finally out pops, eggbot.

Now, you can have that same sequence within the game where he runs around all cute, the outter wall of the room is broken so eggbot can look outside and see the Calamity’s destruction. Then that cut to Zelda saying “I want to save...everyone,” and this is important because I need the fade in between Zelda’s line and the fade back to eggbot to wordlessly imply that he is hearing these words, something that’s already done pretty well in the original cutscene. Anyhow, then the Guardian Stalker pops from behind, prepares to shoot, and eggbot can escape into its little time portal, and then the malice follows or whatever.  

However, I’m not gonna immediately cut to the title, but instead, we have the music build to eggbot’s little jump in a pretty climactic way. But then the music still lingers slightly, and rests in suspense, camera is still looking out the window where eggbot jumped. It pulls back, turning back into this room that eggbot emerged from. Music is still relatively silent. Then, from the corner, you see some of the fire suddenly catch onto something. Flattened between the rocky rubble, just a few feet where eggbot emerged, is a purple cloak, trimmed with gold, flapping just slightly in the wind. [Said flapping being what causes it to catch] The fire catches, burning through the cloak, and underneath it, is a fallen copy of the Sheikah tapestry of 10k years ago. Camera zooms into that art of the Calamity, music suspends, merge to title card, then the music hits that climax and BOOM, “Hyrule Warriors: Age of Calamity.” Main Theme plays. Let the opening title roll.

Now the reason I changed this slightly is because 1) I wanted to earlier set up some of the plot points that I have planned for this (some of which you might already guess or maybe not who knows *wink wink*) and 2) I think that the original opening could have been much stronger with its hook. Yes, the element of mystery is established with eggbot’s existence and that element of time travel, but then the opening immediately goes into saying “This is the tale of champions, a diminutive Guardian who traveled backwards through time, and the Great Calamity they faced.” So...you just dampened that hook you established two seconds ago because you explained it all. Sure, it doesn’t completely ruin it, but I think the impact would be much stronger if that text wasn’t there at all, and the music and hype of the tapestry moving and coming alive is all there was. I’d much rather that element of time travel just be explained through the cinematography itself, because you can already understand that perfectly with that scene where you see the portal lead into birds flying around a beautiful Hyrule Castle.

Also, the music in this game is fantastic! So letting moments that really let you soak it in, I think would be very beneficial. So now this scene serves as a much more effective hook before we get into the actual plot. The mystery of eggbot’s identity is heightened and left a bit more unexplained, you have this mysterious circular room that you’ve never seen before, and the set up of details that will eventually serve later revelations in the plot, cough cough. 

Then you hit Chapter 1, Link gameplay, eggbot and the tower, that’s all the same. I got no changes for the story there, it’s a great introduction. However! I know my strength here is writing and I am by no means a game developer or designer, but I need, I absolutely need to add one aspect to the gameplay.

Near the end of the first stage, where there are those three moblins at the end, I want to add something that I’m going to call, a gambit. The game already introduced you to the special meter and “press a to use special attack” thing, but I want Impa and Link to use a gambit to defeat this last horde of moblins. Essentially, you press A to use your special attack, BUT, if another character is in proximity, the attack is even more powerful. Every pair of characters has a special little attack, that does tons of damage, and during said sequence, there are voiced lines, or at the very very least text boxes that comment on it. And with this gambit, while a regular solo special attack still does a lot of damage, I’m gonna nerf it slightly to encourage players to use this gambit feature. 

Now, why did I add this? Because I need to better connect this gameplay to the story on more than an external “lets defeat this and go from point A to point B” type of way. I need something in the gameplay to better serve to the game’s main theme of “teamwork makes the dreamwork” and all that. The CURRENT gameplay, although absolutely fun and fantastic, just doesn’t do this. I need just one element to serve this theme while ALSO having the dual purpose of serving as character interaction. The current structure of Age of Calamity works where the sidequests and battle serve as your character interaction, development, and banter, while the cutscenes serve the main story beats, and important plot revelations. The cutscenes just aren’t crafted to support the weight of these dozens of characters while also giving them all interesting interactions, and that’s fine! So I’m just adding this feature to the gameplay, because being able to customize different lines for different characters for different stages that are voiced will go a long way into making the character development seem more fleshed out. And this gambit feature doesn’t necessarily change the way you play the game drastically, as you can still have four character slots and have them split up to take on the battlefield, but now you can split them off into groups of 2. And also, because I’m not completely blind to game design, the damage percentage boost of these gambit attacks will not increase as much, just slightly lower, than the damage boost of a solo attack when you level up. So what I mean is, when your character is weaker level, you are forced to rely on others in order to defeat your enemies, but, with the way the leveling up percents work, your characters can still reach a point where they can defeat big bosses all on their own without gambits. THAT way, when certain events happen in later chapters, when your character is all leveled up, (and maybe they awaken a sacred power or two) it feels all the more powerful when you can go off on your own. You can feel how your character has grown in strength because you can contrast it with your teamwork gameplay of earlier levels. AND it still highlights the importance of that theme of companionship, because you would never have gotten to this level of strength had you not relied on your friends. 

OK, so the stage 1 ends with a gambit attack, Impa compliments Link’s fighting style or something that shows her admiration or respect for him. And then stage 2 for the Road to the Royal Lab is the same, but gambit dialogue for that stage is Impa complimenting Link, Impa being protective of Zelda, and since this is Zelda’s first playable area, Zelda’s gambit lines can be about kinda brushing Link aside like “I want to capable to hold my own in battle but thank you” to Link (cause I never really got that same “I don’t really like you” vibe that is established in botw for this game) and then to Impa Zelda’s gambit lines can be like “is this thrill what you always feel when battling?” and Impa is like “yeah isn’t it great we should do it more often!” and then you can allude to that with a sidequest for Zelda’s training or something. I just want to better connect sidequest stories with this stuff. And also, gambits are obviously optional so that’s why this is all just banter and character development and not actually plot points, and I’m going to stick with just one-on-one dialogue, although it should be theoretically possible to have gambit boosts of three and four, but I feel that would be too much as I don’t want to ruin the gameplay balance and encourage you to keep all four character slots close together, because splitting them up is an important part of the game. Anyhow!

So Chapter 1 is done, my changes being almost purely in the gameplay because this is the start of the story and the character set up is important. Chapter 1 to Chapter 2 is basically the establishment of the ordinary world, and in the Three Act Structure it’s basically Act 1. Act 1 is all about set up. I need to really focus this chapter on both introducing the player to the mechanics of the game, having them connect to the characters and the characters connect to each other through the gameplay, and I need to establish this tone so that when I rip it away, and change the tone during the threshold, it feels more meaningful and suspenseful. 

As you can see from the diagrams, Act 1 has something called the Inciting Incident. The Inciting Incident is going to be the Yiga attack in Chapter 2, where our heroes first experience the true dangers of their journey, and there is no turning back. BUT I’m getting ahead of myself.

Chapter 2 is also exactly the same. I would literally change nothing about the Champion’s sections (other than my addition of gambit interaction of course) because they’re all pretty great. For the record, yes, evil egg is still a thing, and yes, Zelda and the gang can still discover those pictures of the Calamity in eggbot, yes you beat up Revali, and the Divine Beast sequences are the same. I just really need that gambit dialogue to help establish character relations. Revali quips at Link, Mipha protects him, Daruk is his buddy [I thought a cool gambit attack for Link and Daruk to better show that they are old friends could be them both chewing down on some rocks, before striking an enemy simultaneously. Because they never eat rocks together and I just want this ok] Kohga is the same, Sooga is the same, BUT, for that scene when you first meet Astor in the Yiga base, I need two things to happen. 1) The camera reveal for Astor starts at his cloak, which is intact and NOT tattered like how his design is in game. It’s a deep purple with gold trim, the camera pans up to the back of Astor’s head. Now 2) When the camera moves to look at Astors face, I need him to be standing in front of and staring solemnly at the evil eggbot. He’s frowning, and his eyes suggest something like he’s deep in thought of something in the distant past. That’s how the scene starts, and in the background is Kohga recounting the events of his failure to beat Urbosa and the gang. Then, Kohga can say something funny to annoy him, Astor’s face changes to your classic villain disgust. Then, he can get a bit pissed and go on his little rant about how pathetic the Yiga are and how the Calamity is trapped within the evil eggbot and how he will use his powers to end the Kingdom of Hyrule. Then he can take his little astrolabe and be all “My harbinger, show me the future!” and all that. IMPORTANT LINE CHANGE,  Astor’s motivation here is not “The future, as it will and must be. I will not allow anyone to alter its course.” Instead, I need to tweak it slightly to be, “The future, as it was fated to always be. The pathetic stories and legends of children and false kings cannot waver this course. I will not allow it, for my sake…” camera pans to the broken evil guardian, Astor’s voice lowers just slightly. “...and yours.” The slightest, almost silent bits of the harmonies (not the melody) of the Hwaoc Main Theme play before fully fading back to Astor’s theme. And the final shot of that scene is Astor, looking down at the heap of Sheikah tech, with a neutral expression, but then looking back up at the malice stars, and the future visions of the Calamity. He just ever so slightly smiles. 

[Also I JUST realized that the harbinger is actually slightly above Astor, because it’s supposed to show that the power dynamic is really Calamity Ganon is in control, so ignore the “looking down” parts I talked about, and just think in the broad direction of Astor looks at the guardian, and then looks further up at the ceiling with the Calamity and the future and then he smiles]

For that scene, I also need to remove any characterization where Astor is laughing and being joyous at the impending destruction, I only need that smile at the end. There is no villainous cartoon laughter, at least, not yet. Also the part where Sooga calls Astor a fool for thinking he can control the Calamity is GREAT I need that, that absolutely needs to stay in.

And then Chapter 2 closes off with that Yiga ambush. That’s the inciting incident, so I need the tone at the end to be slightly different. Instead of ending on that cute little thing where eggbot points angrily at Link, (like that part can still EXIST in there BUT) I need it to end on a more serious note. 

Referring back to the Hero’s Journey, the Call to Adventure is the parts of each of the Champion’s recruitment. They each have their initial reasons for joining the fight, whether to protect their people, to feel validated for their skill, to get closer to the ones they love etc etc that’s all established in their respective stages.

This Yiga stage, however, serves as the official barrier between Act 1 and Act 2, the threshold between the known world and the unknown world, where the heroes prepare to seek out the obstacle that stands in the way of their goal. It’s important that this threshold establishes a sense of urgency, because that better gets you invested in the stakes, and helps the story's momentum to move forward. IT shows that the journey and adventure that these characters want/need to take is outside the safety of their home/known world.

In the original game, the threshold ends with that cute scene of eggbot and Zelda and Link and the Zelink vibes. That’s not bad, but it’s also not good. The momentum towards the later confrontation in Korok forest needs to feel more important, because this is a major turning point in the story. SO, I am going to add one more scene at the end. It’s just after the ambush, after the fires have died down, and Zelda (and in the back the Champions) discussing the events with the King. I want King Rhoam to a few things. First, I need him to kinda berate the Champions for falling for the Yiga’s “splitting them up trick” and leaving his daughter vulnerable. This 1) establishes doubt within the party, which makes for better uncertainty for the future and later internal conflict. This was supposed to be the dream team but the King is already kinda telling them off. 2) This also still characterizes the King as someone who cares for his daughter’s safety. That care for his daughters safety is layered in the subtext of him saying something like “Your priority must be to protect the only person capable of sealing the Calamity. You were so concerned with victory and glory in battle that you forgot that the fate of this kingdom lies on my daughter’s survival.” and blah blah blah. The King can also congratulate Link for keeping Zelda safe, and this is GREAT because that can add further to Zelda’s slight resentment for him, as he’s getting the approval from the King that she has yet to receive. But like overall the King is like “don’t leave my daughter alone cause she almost got killed if it weren’t for Link wtf.” and then that can also be a further excuse to hurry to korok forest to find the wielder of the sword so that they can better protect “not just the Princess, but the entire world,” something something fancy kingly dialogue. 

Also when the Champions leave THIS can also be the time where Zelda gives that Sheikah device thingy to Rhoam and also where he sees eggbot. I know that happens a bit later, but for pacing purposes and for the sake of the story changes that I made, it better serves to place it here. That interaction itself can stay mostly the same as it is in the game.

So now, the threshold ends with a bit more tension. The Champion squad is powerful, but also has flaws in how they were split up by the Yiga, (cough cough I wonder if that serves the themes of the game in some way cough cough) and it’s not just “smooth sailing” into the search for the Master Sword, and the stakes are a bit rocky as we finally enter into the story’s Act 2.

= = = = = 

And that’s Part 1 of my rewrite. Not really a lot, cause again this is mainly character set up, and establishing stuff, but personally I think it’s already a bit stronger than how Age of Calamity did it. Stay tuned for Part 2 either tonight or tomorrow, mwahaha. 

Predict the future if you can...

[fanficsandthings]

Through the Years, Ch. 4

A George Weasley Fanfiction 

A George Weasley x Slytherin reader story.

Each chapter shares events in one year of George and reader’s life together.

Word Count: 2.3k

Year 1, Year 2, Year 3 

Year 4: Quidditch

The start of the Quidditch season was one of your favorite times of the year. It was a good way to get your mind off school work for a few hours a night while you practiced with the rest of the Slytherin team. The captain, Marcus Flint, had a strict regimen when it came to training, and the new brooms that the Malfoys had bought helped a lot. 

A match between Gryffindor and Slytherin was the first match of this year’s season. For you, it was more of a contest between you and the twins over who could make the other team more irritated. It was really quite easy to make Oliver Wood mad over a game of quidditch. All you needed to do was make sure Gryffindor lost. You could let Draco and Harry do whatever they wanted, as it was best to go after the core of the Gryffindor quidditch team; their star beaters. 

Looking around the pitch, you could see Fred sending a bludger towards Flint. Not caring much for your team captain, you chose not to warn him as the ball hit him right on the shoulder. It pushed Flint back, sending him spiraling in circles towards the ground, but he managed to catch himself. 

You let out a laugh and shouted over to Fred, “Nice one, Weasley!” 

Fred gave a thumbs up and a small wink as he turned to aim his next bludger at another one of your Slytherin teammates. 

Suddenly there was a sharp pain in your left side as Marcus Flint smashed full force into you. “Stop playing for the other team and do your job! If I see you even smile at one of the Weasleys the rest of this match, you’re off the team.”

“Yeah, sure. You know there’s no one else in Slytherin who could be a better beater than me.” You rolled your eyes and took off on your broom, shouting over your shoulder at Flint, “Watch this!” 

You headed straight for George, his attention elsewhere, so he had no idea that you were coming. You gained as much speed as you felt comfortable with and aimed your broom right for him. Pushing your feet up, you balanced carefully on the black handle of your broomstick. You released your hands from the handle and stood up straight, wind pushing past you. The wind felt wonderful as you leaned into it, still staring directly at George, who had yet to turn his head to notice you. As you got closer and closer, you knew your plan would work out perfectly.  

“Weasley!” you called out when you were barely a few feet away from him. You kicked your feet off your broom, sending it in a small arc just below his broom as your body slammed right into his. 

George let out a small groan at the impact, and you heard him mumble a few choice words at you. 

You wrapped one arm around him as you felt both George and yourself start to fall towards the ground. Your other arm reached into the air, and your hand fell perfectly back onto your broomstick handle. As you dangled from your broom, you looked down at George, who was dangling from your hand. 

“How’s it hanging, Georgie?” you shouted down at him over the sound of the wind rushing by.

“This is such a cheap trick!” he shouted back up at you. 

“My favorite kind of trick,” you retorted back. 

You made it to the other side of the quidditch pitch, still hanging from your broom before you started to get close enough to the ground to let go of him. You looked back over your shoulder to the far end of the pitch, George’s broom laying sadly on the ground. Lowering your speed a bit, you dragged George’s shoes just slightly on the grass. 

“You better start running, or it’s gonna hurt like hell when I let go!” you warned him. 

George glared at you with a look that’s reserved only for when he’s truly pissed off at you, but he started running nevertheless. He stumbled a little bit when you let go of his hand, but managed to catch himself. You could hear him cursing you as you flew off, but you chose to ignore whatever he might be threatening you with. 

“Have a fun walk back to your broom, George.” 

-----------------

You could hear your name being called from behind you, but you ignored the two people yelling at you. You chose instead to focus your attention on your feet, trying hard not to trip over the rocks on the hill you were currently walking up. Annoyingly, you could hear the voices getting louder as the twins approached. 

“Hey, will you slow down!” George called, slightly out of breath from basically running up the hill to catch up with you. You shook your head, picking up your pace a little more. 

“You can’t be pissed at us every time Slytherin loses a game,” Fred said to you. 

You stopped walking suddenly, causing the twins to jolt to a stop too. You whipped around, your quidditch robes flowing behind you, and pointed your finger between the two of them. 

“I am not mad because Slytherin lost,” you said, your voice laced with a hint of venom. “I’m mad because you two almost killed a 12 year old boy and, in the process, almost killed me, too!” 

“It’s not like we tried to kill you,” George said, “and we’ve already said we’re sorry.” 

“Plus it was just Malfoy,” Fred continued. “And what about that bludger one of you bewitched!”

“I don’t care that it was ‘just Malfoy.’ He may be an annoying little prat, but he’s still a child. And that bludger was not us! I’m just as confused about that as you are.” Your arms were crossed in front of you now, and you stared down at them with irritation etched on your face. Having this conversation on a hill was probably a good idea, because it made you taller than the Weasley twins, and you felt like that gave you a slight advantage. You were sure they didn’t quite believe that Slytherin didn’t bewitch that bludger, but they knew you were telling your truth. 

“You literally ran full force into me and knocked me off my broom,” George recalled. 

“I caught you!” you said to him, rolling your eyes. “There are way worse tricks I could’ve pulled on you in the moment.”

“It was pretty wicked to watch,” Fred said, nudging his brother in the ribs. 

“Thank you, Fred.” You gave him a smile and turned back to George. “Flint was up my ass about being friends with you two, so I needed to do something that would get him to shut up.” 

“You could’ve picked the other twin to piss off,” George said in a slight mumble, crossing his arms. 

You walked the few steps to stand in front of him, about even with his height now thanks to the hill. 

“Maybe I just think you’re cute when you’re mad,” you said, patting his cheek. You gave him a wink and turned on your heel to head back up the hill again. Both Fred and George stayed rooted in the same spot. 

“Freddie,” George said to his brother once you were out of ear shot. He watched your green quidditch robes flowing behind you, your figure getting smaller and smaller as you approached the castle. “I think I’m in love.” 

Fred let out a sharp laugh, startling his brother out of his trance. “I know, George. I know.” Fred started to walk up the hill after you, leaving his brother dumbfounded in his spot.

George could feel the red on the tips of his ears and cheeks. It had been there since you softly touched his face, and he hoped to Merlin that you hadn’t noticed. Truth be told, you had noticed, but you thought it just made him that much more endearing. 

----------------------

You were sitting in the Slytherin common room, reading a book you had just picked up from the library, when you felt something brush against your leg. You looked down to see Minnie standing in front of you. She appeared to have a piece of paper stuck in her collar. 

Molly Weasley had knitted a small collar for Minnie the first Christmas you had her, just a couple weeks after you and the twins had found her. Fred and George had told their mother about the cat they were now sharing with you, and they asked Molly if she could make them a collar. They said it was their way of providing some sort of care for her, as you were the one that actually looked after her. It was a simple collar, made out of yarn, that you simply tied around her neck. It was more of a friendship bracelet than a collar, you always thought, but you loved it nonetheless. Especially because Molly had made it in your house colors. 

You bent down to retrieve the piece of paper from her, giving her a light scratch between the ears in the process. The paper was folded relatively neatly, your name written on it in messy writing. It was no doubt from one of the twins, or both. You unfolded it.

Did I ever truly apologize for this afternoon? I can’t remember, it was all such a mess. Well, I am truly sorry for almost killing you. Meet me just outside the Slytherin common room at sunset. Wear something warm. --George xx

Folding the paper back up, you let out a short breath and rolled your eyes. George could have any number of possible activities planned for tonight, you just hoped that none of them put you in danger. You put the note in your book to act as a bookmark. Grabbing Minnie, you headed to your dorm to get ready for whatever it was that George had planned for this evening. 

Just a few short hours later you were standing just outside your common room, wearing the comfiest sweater you could find and a scarf was wrapped around your neck. A small bag hung from your shoulder. You could hear footfalls approaching from around the corner, and you hoped it was George, rather than a teacher who would scold you for being out this close to dark. The figure came around the corner, and you let out a sigh when you saw the red hair sticking out from under his knitted hat. 

“George,” you said, catching his attention, “what’re we doing? You’re gonna get us in trouble.”

“Only if we get caught,” he said, taking your hand. He didn’t even bother to stop walking, he just pulled you along after him. “No time to stop and chat. Snape was nearby last time I looked at the map.” 

You followed close behind him, your right hand in his left. It had been almost a year since the accident with the hair dye, but you sometimes still worried about his burn. Sometimes you swore you could see a faint scar if his wrist hit the light just right. Tonight, though, you had no worries about that, too worried about the thought of being caught by a teacher. Another irrational fear, as George had told you that him and his brother had never been caught out of bed since they found this map. 

You followed George, having no earthly clue where you were going. He seemed quite confident in his ability to find his way around the castle, though. A slight breeze hit you as he opened one final door, and the faint light of the setting sun illuminated both of your faces. 

“Where on earth are we going, George?” you asked, praying for a real answer this time. 

“Somewhere fun,” was all he said as he grabbed your hand again and pulled you out the door. 

You had made it all the way to the quidditch pitch before George finally stopped walking and let go of your hand. The sun was just barely peeking over the horizon now, and it would be fully set in a matter of seconds. You could see both of your brooms leaning up against the wall.

“A late night joy ride?” you asked, motioning towards the brooms. 

“Something like that, yeah,” you answered you. He then pulled a small rectangular object out of his jacket pocket. “First, I wanted to give this back to you. There are a few pictures left on it. I didn’t wanna fill it up before you can go home to get them developed.”

You took the camera from him. You looked it over quickly and saw that there were still 10 pictures left on it. “Thanks George, but I can always ask my mum to owl me another one.”

You went to hand it back to him, but he denied it. “I’d like to see some pictures from your point of view too.”

You shrugged and placed the camera in your bag, taking out the gloves you had stored in there. You put them on and looked at George. “So, a late night joy ride?” 

He looked between you and your brooms. “Race you to the top!” he called as he took off in a sprint. 

“George,” you yelled after him as you started running too, “you know I’m faster on a broom than you are.” 

“That’s why I got a head start,” he informed you, hopping on his broom. You watched him take off, heading back towards the castle. 

Race you to the top, you thought to yourself. The top of the tallest tower in Hogwarts. You grabbed your broom, the black handle reflecting the light of the moon, which now shone brightly above you. You kicked off the ground as hard as you could, hoping the speed of your broom would make up for George’s head start. 

George Weasley would be the death of you someday, but, to be totally honest, you didn’t really mind. You waited with pleasant expectations for that day to come.