The Number Lads Almost Blow Up
July!! What?? How?? Well, Happy Disability Pride Month, y'all 🖤❤️💛💚. But the Number Lads continue on their little ways. Please enjoy a rare Fours PoV chapter 💜! Also a reminder that Zero and all the members of the 118th are not my OCs: they belong to my dear friend @/23-bears. Here is a list to the Masterlist of chapters.
Words: ~4300
Warnings: None! Just some numbers bein pals.
DressedtotheNines: so
DressedtotheNines: question
RedBoiiiii: ?
Leafs: wha
DressedtotheNines: anyone here know anything about zabraks?
Loopy: Trees! Your nerdiness will have paid off!
Leafs: just because my commanders are giant nerds does not mean i am
d0nut man: dude i had a hyperfixation on zabbys for like six months as a cadet, hit me
RedBoiiiii: ZABBYS
Loopy: that’s such a cute name i’m sure they all hate
d0nut man: yeah probably… never actually met one
DressedtotheNines: okay so… which zabraks have the big horns and the weird skin colors?
d0nut man: dathomirian zabraks
DressedtotheNines: cool. follow up: i need a recent history nerd
DressedtotheNines: any ideas why a pair of dathomirian zabraks are after general kenobi?
RedBoiiiii: i mean this is gen kenobi we’re talking about are we sure they’re not in love with him?
Leafs: sevenset seriously
Loopy: PFFT
DressedtotheNines: no they’re definitely trying to kill him
DEATH: Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi: first Jedi to kill a Sith Lord in decades. Happened on Naboo about… 15 years ago? Maybe less? The Sith was dathomirian.
RedBoiiiii: is the commander a secret history buff??
DEATH: No I had to learn everything about the Jedi on Kamino to prepare for the war. Part of command track.
Double Trouble: oh this looks like fun *grabs bangcorn*
Leafs: i’m gonna guess no
DressedtotheNines: ah yes, i can find news articles about it
d0nut man: any videos??
DressedtotheNines: yeah not a chance, this happened on Naboo in the Royal Hangar in Theed when general skywalker was only nine
Loopy: little babey boy
high fives: ARE WE ROASTING SKYWALKER wait, no
high fives: got all excited :(
Loopy: nope we’re finding out who the weird zabraks are wanting to kill kenobi
high fives: sure they’re not in love with him?
DressedtotheNines: YES we are sure they are NOT
DEATH: Fives, show some decency
high fives: okay… :(
DEATH: You never know if Cody might find this chat
DressedtotheNines: SIR–
Double Trouble: COMMANDER
Leafs: is anyone else noticing the commander getting more and more chaotic
Loopy: it’s awesome
high fives: VINDICATION!!!!
DressedtotheNines: for legal purposes, I did not read that
DressedtotheNines: anyway i think i figured out who these zabraks are
Loopy: oooh
DressedtotheNines: so… the guy kenobi “killed” on Naboo…
Leafs: i don’t like those quotation marks
d0nut man: is it thE SAME GUY who’s going after him??
RedBoiiiii: how??
DressedtotheNines: [image file: these_creepy_weirdos]
DressedtotheNines: well the guy on bird legs is definitely the guy he killed on Naboo–same tattoos
high fives: damn did kenobi do that to him? the legs, i mean
DressedtotheNines: i guess?? and the other guy is his… brother?
Double Trouble: is he single
RedBoiiiii: there’s my boy
Double Trouble: the brother i mean. not the angry bird leg dude.
Leafs: do si do
Leafs: what the kark is wrong with you sometimes
high fives: no no hear him out–
Double Trouble: listen i don’t choose this life, i just look at very strong men and am gay, what do you want from me
d0nut man: wait why the hell is that dude so built??
high fives: idk man don’t look a gift fathier in the mouth
d0nut man: dathomirian zabbys aren’t normally that beefy…
Loopy: we’re not worried about the whole “two mysterious new Sith appeared and are going after one of the GAR’s best generals?” not even a little?
DressedtotheNines: I AM CONCERNED they’ve already killed a Jedi Master guys
high fives: fierfek who??
DressedtotheNines: Gallia, on Florrum
Loopy: damn
high fives: so since these guys are going after kenobi… should i worry about skywalker getting dragged in?
DEATH: If I ever had the misfortune of serving in the 501st, I think I would constantly be worried about Skywalker.
RedBoiiiii: yikes
high fives: yeah no that’s fair, it’s what rex does
d0nut man: but WHY IS THE YELLOW ONE SO BEEFY THIS IS BOTHERING ME
CrispyDomino: I’m gone for one PT session and this happens… smh…
-scene break-
They weren’t dug into three feet of mud or snow, and that was a good thing. Fours kept reminding himself of that each time the boredom started creeping back in. The Republic base was only a temporary measure until General Mundi returned from the strategy conference in a few days, then they would be back on the ground, fighting through rows of tinnies like they were supposed to do. He was pretty sure the soldiers stationed on the base were already fed up with the Marines. The Nova Corps were… rough. They didn’t spend a lot of time on leave, so they were sometimes a little hard to keep in line. Commander Bacara and General Mundi were usually the only ones who could really manage it, although in very different ways.
It was even sunny. When was the last time they’d been somewhere decently sunny? Ages ago, probably. Most of the Marines not roped into working on the base spent a good amount of time in their underwear (or without) lying in the sun and enjoying ration bars without added vitamin D. Some of the guys claimed they could taste a difference, but Fours never could.
Regardless, his boredom would be alleviated soon enough when the Numbers holocall started. Those never failed to be interesting. It had taken him a while to get used to the chaos, but it had grown on him. Sure, the commander had originally terrified him, but after they’d all seen his face, he found him slightly less intimidating. Commander Bacara so rarely showed his face.
He’d already scoped out a spot where he could take the call uninterrupted: there was a little room at one corner of base, probably an unused office or something. But it had a window, and this time of day, there was sunlight pouring in, and that was really what he wanted.
When he joined the call, Sevenset, Trees, Do-si-do, and Loops were already in the middle of a discussion about the merits of… fuzzy socks? Seemed normal for them.
“Fours!” Do-si-do exclaimed, pointing at him. “Fuzzy socks: wear ‘em alone or over normal socks? Quick!”
He floundered for several seconds under the intense questioning, looking at the four of them, then at Echo and Fives when they appeared as well.
“Maker, Do-si-do, did you have to give him a heart attack?” Trees muttered.
“I don’t…know?” he finally answered, quietly. He’d never had fuzzy socks.
“What do you mean you don’t know?” Sevenset asked. “They’re fuzzy socks!”
Fives perked up, finally knowing what they were discussing. “Dude, fuzzy socks are amazing!”
“Yeah!”
Nines and Elevensies’ hologram appeared soon after. The conversation didn’t stop for them.
“But do you wear them by themselves or with other socks under them?” Do-si-do demanded again. At least it wasn’t at Fours.
Echo’s face crinkled in disgust. “What?”
“No,” Fives completed. “You have to wear other socks with them, otherwise you get the fuzzies stuck in your toenails for weeks.”
Do-si-do’s face lit up in triumph, while Sevenset groaned and let his face fall into his hands. The pilot pointed, presumably at his friend. “See? They understand! They’re not weirdos!”
Commander Sixes and Zero finally appeared while Sevenset was… mourning his loss? Again, seeing the commander’s face made Fours do a double take, but he hoped it wasn’t a noticeable one.
Fives continued on the ridiculous conversation like nothing had happened. “Why would you wear them naked? That’s–no! Your feet feel twice as sweaty doing that.” His twin nodded gravely.
Loops added, “But your boots fit better with just one pair on.”
Do-si-do shook his head. “Everyone knows you wear them without boots, indoors, so you can do sprinting hallway slides.”
The commander blinked rapidly, shook his head, and rubbed his eyes with a hand. “Do I even want to know what you’re discussing?”
“Fuzzy socks, sir,” Nines answered.
The commander lifted his head, raising one eyebrow at them. “Fuzzy socks?”
As a new round of explanations and debate started up, Fours noticed Elevensies looking at him curiously, his head tilted slightly to one side. Fours was wondering when someone would notice.
“Hey, guys,” he said. Once most of the others were paying attention, he asked, “Did Four’s hair always look like that?”
Now everyone was looking at him, and he shrunk down in his seat out of habit. Finally, Sevenset smiled and said, “I knew there was a dye job in there somewhere.”
Being back on a regular base meant Fours had been able to get his hands on hair dye again, and had spent the time to redo the two fuschia stripes on each side of his head.
“So you really like the color that much?” Nines wanted to know.
It was true the fuchsia paint of the Nova Corps wasn’t exactly the most popular color in the GAR. Many claimed it wasn’t “manly” enough. He nodded, brushing his fingertips over the strips. “I like it.”
Echo had a look on his face like he was thinking hard. “Commander, didn’t you do a mission with the Marines? That’s how you found Fours, right?”
“Yeah.”
His twin picked up his train of thought. “Why didn’t you tell us Fours had a fun dye job?”
The commander glanced at Fours, then answered, “It wasn’t there before.”
“It grows out quick,” Fours added.
“I feel that,” Do-si-do said with a frown, scrunching his own bleached curls. “It can be such a hassle out there.”
Loops took advantage of a momentary pause in conversation. “So. Strategy conference, huh, guys?”
The remark unleashed a chorus of groans from several members, notably Fives, Do-si-do, and Trees. Fours knew some of his brothers feeling the same way. Most clones didn’t do well with inactivity.
“It’s taking forever,” Do-si-do said, slumping in his seat. “What do they even do in there all day? Look at maps?”
“I feel bad for General Kenobi,” Echo said.
“Why?” Zero asked.
“Oh, he has to deal with a very bored General Skywalker.”
Nines chuckled. “Practically a death sentence.”
Zero suddenly launched out of his seat, slamming his hand down on whatever surface supported his holoprojector, making his hologram shake. “I think I figured out why that yellow zabrak trailing Kenobi is so beefy!” he announced with a huge smile.
There was a beat of silence–understandable, given the non sequitur–then Sevenset smiled and gestured that Zero should continue his thought. Fours would admit, he was curious.
The ARC sat down again, his face looking much like Sevenset’s when he was stirring up trouble. “Okay, so they’re both Dathomirian zabbys, right? Right. Not much known about that planet but what it does have going for it is a very strong connection to the Dark Side of the Force. Now what does that mean–well–”
“Wait, how did you find that out?” Echo interrupted. “The Force thing. You can’t just look that up.”
“Oh, no, I asked my general to check with the Temple Library, and that’s what she got.”
“Oh.” There was a slight hesitation in the reply, which made sense, considering most clones didn’t have that kind of relationship with their general. Fours certainly didn’t. General Mundi would probably be thrilled about a clone asking questions about the Force, but it didn’t mean Fours would feel confident in asking.
“Anyway, the Dark Side on Dathomir is a little funky,” Zero went on, “and the Nightsisters can harness it somehow. Since the Light Side has some healing and regenerative abilities, then why can’t the Dark Side make a normally fairly lean species into a slab of muscle?”
After another pause, Trees said, “That sounds like wild speculation.”
Fours wouldn’t know where to start, so it seemed a little more solid than speculation to him. The only zabraks he was familiar with were from Iridonia, and that was mostly because General Koth had assisted General Mundi at one point. The two Nines had sent holopics of seemed more… evil. In every single aspect of their beings.
“It’s not!” Zero protested. “I did research! I found out more about the guy with robo legs too. His name’s Maul, and the beefy dude is named Savage Opress.”
Nines perked up a little. “Anything useful if he goes after Kenobi with us around?”
“Didn’t you guys tackle Grievous?” Fives pointed out. “Is anything really going to stop you?”
“I was not one of the idiots dogpiling Grievous,” Nines defended himself.
“Why should we believe you?” Loops countered.
“Because unlike my commander and my brothers, I am not a moron.”
Fives cut back in. “But if some evil guy on robo legs came at your general, and you had the opportunity to tackle him for the greater good, would you do it?”
Fours couldn’t help a small smile when everyone turned to Nines, who spluttered indignantly for a second or two. “He has horns! Maybe use a droid popper first–”
“He’s dodging the question!” Zero said, pointing.
“And poppers wouldn’t work!” someone in his background called. Zero turned just in time to be swarmed by three brothers who squeezed in beside him. One, with an intricate black tattoo down his chin, continued, “Regular poppers are too weak for cybernetics. You’d need something strong enough to thoroughly shock a biological nervous system and a mechanical nervous system.”
“Cass!”
“They have to know!”
Zero rolled his eyes. “What are you guys even doing here?”
A different clone, with what looked like aquatic life painted on his armor, patted Zero on the head. “Don’t worry about it, we were just passing by when we heard false information being given out on cybernetic limbs.”
“And also, who is this person with the robo legs?” the third asked. His armor was stunningly painted in a style reminiscent of some of the street art Fours had seen sprayed onto the buildings on Coruscant. “Asking for a friend. Several friends. Maybe.”
Zero looked at him flatly. “Jackal, you can’t lie.” Jackal pouted.
Finally, Sevenset asked the obvious. “Zero, who are these guys?”
“These,” Zero said, “would be the Enigma Triplets.” He introduced them in the order they had spoken. “This is Cass, that’s Beskar, and this is Jackal. They want to hack this guy’s cybernetics.”
“Hypothetically!” Jackal blurted.
“And I know for a fact that they were on duty in a different part of the ship,” Zero went on, “so this leads me to ask again: what are you doing here?���
Jackal and Cass shared an uncertain look. Beskar still looked passive. He must have been one of those clones blessed with the ability to tell a convincing lie.
Their brother was not convinced. “You didn’t hack the call, did you? You weren’t listening in?”
“Hey, don’t hack our frequency,” Sevenset said. “I worked hard for it.”
The “triplets” shared another look, definitely more guilty this time, even on Beskar’s face. Zero put his face in his hands with a sigh, and Beskar patted his pauldron. “We didn’t leave any back doors,” he said, trying to be comforting. “The security is still in place.”
“It better be,” Do-si-do warned, narrowing his eyes. “This chat has saved lives, I’ll have you know.”
Loops tilted his head, clearly thinking of something. “Wasn’t Enigma Company the one where everyone wants to hack General Grievous?” he asked.
All three of the triplets’ faces lit up like Life Day. “Yeah!” they answered.
“You had to ask, Loops?” Zero said with a look of fond exasperation.
“Maybe we can find this new guy and test out our theories on him,” Cass said, ignoring Zero.
The other two agreed enthusiastically. Nines raised a hand. “If you can manage it, I’ll be impressed. He’s got it out for Kenobi, and I don’t think he’s likely to give that up any time soon.”
Beskar nodded. “So what I’m hearing is we need to follow General Kenobi around for a week or so and set a bunch of traps for the angry horny bird man.”
“Sounds like a plan,” Jackal replied, completely serious despite several numbers–mostly Do-si-do, Sevenset, and Fives–having dissolved into quiet giggles.
Suddenly, Jackal’s face brightened again, and he waved. “Hi, Commander! How’s the arm?”
The other two crowded in even tighter, squishing Zero further. “Yeah, d’you need any upgrades?” Cass asked excitedly.
Fours was confused. What was wrong with the commander’s arm? He didn’t think he’d missed any of the chat lately, even if he was reading most of the conversations after they’d happened. But he still read them all. He didn’t recall anything mentioning the commander being injured. Only on Umbara, but that was just a scuffle with that deranged Jedi, right?
The commander frowned, folding his arms. “I think you boys have done enough to my arm, thanks. You and the rest of your entire company.”
While the triplets started making excuses, Elevensies tentatively raised his hand.
“Yeah, kid, go ahead and ask,” the commander replied, looking resigned.
The youngest member paused to look at everyone, then asked, “What happened to your arm, sir?”
Everyone’s attention went to the commander. Fours noticed Zero, Echo, and Fives looking with a little less than avid curiosity, and he wondered. He knew Fives couldn’t lie, so he had a feeling those three had known something was different for a while now.
In reply, the commander began removing the armor below his elbow and setting the pieces out of sight. After he did that, he tugged each of his fingers loose from his glove, and pulled it off as well, holding the hand so they could see it. Wherever he was, there was enough light to glint off the metal as he turned his hand this way and that. The interlocking plates protecting the inner workings were black, like his armor, but they shone a dull blue in the light. From what he could see, the metal continued up and disappeared under his sleeve, leaving everyone to wonder how much of his arm he’d lost.
“When the kriff did that happen?” Sevenset asked, sounding genuinely concerned.
“Umbara.”
Sevenset’s face went from concerned to horrified. “Umbara?” he cried, his voice pitching up quite a bit.
“What?” Nines demanded. “I didn’t know about this.” He looked at Fives and Echo. “What happened? Did you know about this?”
Echo shrugged. “Maybe a little.” Fives looked guilty, which meant they had both definitely known about it.
Do-si-do gasped. “Wait! Was this because of that Jedi you guys definitely didn’t kill?”
Elevensies’ eyes widened. Fours couldn’t blame him. Trees groaned and facepalmed, probably muttering something about even more liability for treason.
The commander shrugged, unfazed by the outcry as he started putting his glove and armor back on. “Yeah, he knocked me out and when I woke up, my arm was gone.”
“This was months ago, Commander!” Sevenset pointed out.
“How did you get the new arm?” Fours found himself asking. No one in the Marines had any cybernetics, usually because his commander didn’t wait for medical evaluations before transferring an injured clone. He didn’t like to think about how many had “disappeared” afterwards.
“Our commander knows a guy,” Jackal chirped, a pleased smile on his face. The commander nodded, confirming the statement.
Sevenset spluttered for several seconds, which was amusing, before he settled on, “That’s it? Just ‘a guy?’ No explanation of why we had no idea you had lost an arm?”
The commander shrugged. “Nope.” That just made Sevenset more affronted, his mouth falling open in surprise. “Careful you don’t catch any mynocks in there,” the commander remarked as he clicked his vambrace closed.
That made the triplets around Zero crack up, and the noise must have jolted Sevenset out of his shock. He frowned, clearly not happy with the commander, but Fours didn’t think he would get any more information out of him about it right now.
“First Fours dyes his hair, now the commander has a cybernetic arm,” he said. “I’m just saying, I’m feeling a little out of the loop. Does anyone else have some life-altering or otherwise important information they want to share?”
To Fours’ surprise, Trees spoke. “General Unduli got a pet duck.”
“She did what?”
“Yeah, she found this duck and adopted it. Supposed to be our new mascot, I guess. Named it Duckfee. Commander Gree keeps trying to steal it to study it, and Commander Offee has yet to warm up to the name.”
Without warning, Nines, Loops, Trees, Do-si-do, Fives, and Echo all disappeared from the call. Fours sat up a little straighter, along with almost everyone else.
“What just happened?” Sevenset wondered, looking around, eyes narrowed.
“Where are they all located?” the commander asked.
Zero’s three companions had disappeared, but from the way he was talking to people out of view, they were still in the room. He turned to the projector. “Strategy conference, remember?”
“Right,” Sevenset nodded, still wary.
“So… maybe they all had to leave really suddenly?” Elevensies suggested.
“Unlikely,” the commander replied, opening his comm and typing a message in record time. “I’ll ask around.”
“Who, the same mysterious ‘guy’ who got you a whole cybernetic arm?” Sevenset said pointedly.
Commander Sixes raised an eyebrow at him. “No, this is Commander Neyo.”
The ARC mouthed an, “oh,” then leaned back in his seat and folded his arms.
After a few tense seconds, both Zero and the commander said, “That’s not good,” at the same time.
Fours sat forward, and Sevenset was on the edge of his seat, nearly falling off. “What? What happened?”
Again, the two others spoke at the same time, but this time two different things came out of their mouths.
Zero said, “One of our Cricklets might have blown up.”
Commander Sixes said, “The strategy conference almost blew up.”
The three other clones from the 118th rushed to Zero in distress. “Which Cricklet?” Cass demanded.
“The one on that top secret mission, obviously,” Jackal replied.
“No!” Beskar cried, looking over Zero’s shoulder at his datapad. “Not Rootkit!”
Fours raised a finger. “What about the entire conference almost blowing up?”
“Yeah, that seems like the more important piece of information regarding all of our friends just disappearing from our transmission,” Sevenset agreed.
“Neyo says a late cruiser came out of hyperspace, then blew to bits before it could crash into the space station,” the commander announced, reading off his comm. “Haven’t found out what happened yet, but it was definitely rigged as a bomb.”
Jackal’s mouth quirked down. “Was that the top secret mission Rootkit went on? With Skywalker’s droid?”
“Apparently.”
“Huh.”
-scene break-
RedBoiiiii: is everyone okay??? no one blew up???
d0nut man: yeah what happened to the droids?? are they okay??
high fives: it was a fun light show!
CrispyDomino: yeah if you like heart attacks to go with your light shows
RedBoiiiii: DOMINO oh thank the Maker people are okay
Loopy: yeah most of us were in no danger whatsoever
Trees: unless you were the jedi and the guys in the main room
Loopy: true, they were front and center for the shrapnel blast
Double Trouble: DUDE that was WILD some windows almost shattered where i was!!
RedBoiiiii: you are not making me feel better
#1 Boy: what happened to the rest of the droids? Zero’s friends were very worried
d0nut man: they still are
high fives: oh the rest of the droids are fine, it’s just R2 still MIA :(
d0nut man: YAY!!!!!! Rootkit is safe :)
#1 Boy: nu R2 T_T
CrispyDomino: apparently the droids found a commando out there, presumed KIA on sarrish
DEATH: “Found?”
DressedtotheNines: IT’S GREGOR THEY FOUND CAPTAIN GREGOR THEY GOT HIM BACK HE’S ONLY LIGHTLY SINGED and somewhat concussed
high fives: yeah i guess they crashed somewhere and found him
CrispyDomino: but he had some amnesia so that’s why he didn’t come back sooner
Trees: that’s not something you see every day
Double Trouble: i have never seen nines that excited about anything since i met him
DressedtotheNines: Gregor was one of my COs before he disappeared. We missed him.
#1 Boy: aw ^_^
Loopy: that’s sweet
DressedtotheNines: i’m guessing skywalker isn’t too happy about r2 being missing?
high fives: no he is royally pissed
CrispyDomino: yeah no one is surprised by it tbh
Submarine: glad to hear people aren’t dead and just have some head trauma?
CrispyDomino: yeah maybe if skywalker stopped pulling stunts he wouldn’t have so much head trauma
DressedtotheNines: while I won’t argue that point, I do think fours was referring to Gregor
Submarine: yes
CrispyDomino: oh
CrispyDomino: I’m still right
-scene break-
#1 Boy: hey… I know it’s the middle of the night on Trip Zip… but is anyone here to talk?
Double Trouble: i’m here! what’s up kiddo?
#1 Boy: do you know how bad an injury needs to be to be… dangerous?
RedBoiiiii: uhh you mean how bad until they “disappear?”
#1 Boy: yeah… my squadmate… he had an accident on a mission
CrispyDomino: oh kriff, what happened? What’s the injury?
CrispyDomino: i mean here’s the thing: disappearing only happens when the injury gets reported
RedBoiiiii: which happens all the time on Coruscant. All. The. Time.
#1 Boy: really? T_T
Double Trouble: hey hey hey, doesn’t the guard have systems in place so that doesn’t happen???? didn’t sevens tell us that?
RedBoiiiii: well sure, but it’s not a miracle pipeline
#1 Boy: is he gonna be okay???
CrispyDomino: what’s the injury?
#1 Boy: he hurt his arm on a senatorial escort, his shoulder needs surgery
#1 Boy: but it’s not a guarantee fix–they said there’d be lasting damage
CrispyDomino: well. that’s better than it could be, by a long shot
RedBoiiiii: it’s not great, but… it’s not terrible i guess
RedBoiiiii: i might have some contacts to try but… i’m sorry
Double Trouble: I hope it turns out okay!
#1 Boy: i mean i know we’re at war and death happens and all that but…
CrispyDomino: hey it’s never easy. I’m sorry this is happening
Double Trouble: When we can be, we’re here for ya, buddy
#1 Boy: thanks guys <3
The Angry Zebra Bros have arrived.... and what will happen to Elevensies' squadmate??? ooooooo...
@23-bears @theultimatesandwich @mercurydancer @darth-void @rndmpeep @gaeasun and @fate-and-destiny Come read about Duckfee!! if anyone wants to be added to/taken off of the informal taglist!
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