#obvs maybe some people did have trauma

[chocoboparty]

i really hated the trend that I still see sometimes of random users (usually with big platforms) going “I just realized [very normal thing] is a trauma response!! 😱” and then having a bunch of people in the comments who trust their word get confused and wonder if they have possible repressed memories

as someone with what feels like an almost 6 year gap in my memories, it’s very annoying to see people who are most likely okay, just being like: “me I’m so traumatized LOL!!” because it’s not fun! It’s actually not funny if you’re traumatized! Trauma responses actually are kinda debilitating actually!!

they would list things that are “trauma responses” and they’d all be acceptable, but as soon as trauma responses that severely impact people come up (hypersexuality, paraphilic disorders, dissociative disorders, personality disorders) they’re suddenly not so accepting. this is what trauma does! people should not be expected to only have the more tolerable responses to trauma because it is often something that can ruin lives! that’s why it’s trauma!

it is not another quirky character trait for you to assign yourself on instagram stories it is genuine pain and suffering that should not be taken lightly

[hotdaemondtargaryen]

PHIA SABAN INTERVIEWED BY ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY.

SO MUCH HAPPENED IN THE FINALE, AND HELAENA WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF SO MUCH OF IT. WHAT WAS YOUR REACTION WHEN YOU FOUND OUT HOW MUCH INFLUENCE HELAENA WAS GOING TO HAVE IN THIS EPISODE?

"When I read the episode, I was so excited to be involved in that trippy dream sequence."

"I was hoping that I was going to arise from a lake of goo or something, or fly."

"But I was also really happy to stand there and talk."

"That was really exciting because we did that all in a green screen stage, just me and Matt, so it was really cool."

"I watched the last episode last night, and it was really cool to see all of that come to life."

"I was very pleased to be involved in that."

"My other thought was if she feels this kind of clarity in that scene that she has with Aemond, and that isn't historically how she's felt about her power and everything."

I needed to work backwards from there and try and work out what journey she has been on, for that moment to be so clear, when usually she's a bit more like, "Oh, there's a beast somewhere."

WHAT CONVERSATIONS DID YOU HAVE WITH SHOWRUNNER RYAN CONDAL ABOUT HELAENA'S EXPANDED ROLE AND HOW SHE'S GOTTEN TO THIS POINT IN THE FINALE? BECAUSE SO MUCH OF HER JOURNEY HAS BEEN INTERNAL.

"Actually, Ryan and [writer] Sara [Hess] and the writers, they very much left it to me as to how Helaena feels, how she connects to that side of it, and how it manifests for her, but it's an interesting one."

"The line between what I know and what she knows, I try and keep quite close together, so it's not always so helpful for me to have this really overarching idea of how exactly she plays in and what magic it is."

"Because I think every time when that happens to her, it feels like the first time."

"So I know as much as she does, in a way, but they were very keen for me to interpret it however I want."

"Then I think they're just going to weave it into the story in their magical way."

TELL ME ABOUT YOUR PROCESS IN WORKING BACKWARDS FROM THAT CONFRONTATION WITH AEMOND. HOW DID YOU GET INTO HELAENA'S MINDSET?

"How I describe it is she has this amazingly strong intuition, and things come to her as gut feelings in flashes, but they're not always clear."

"She can't always turn them into advice."

"It's more of like a feeling that takes her over."

"That's where some of those really abstract things that she mutters earlier on comes from, but she also thinks of herself and knows of herself that she's quite a strange girl."

"There's a way in which her family lets her go and be her strangeness in her room and do all of her Helaena things."

But also she partially thinks, "Maybe if I didn't have these weird feelings or this strange intuition or this really intense experience that I have, then I could be a bit closer to people around me, or I could communicate better or it would be less strange."

"Part of her represses that stuff."

"Then I think with the trauma that happened to her in episode 1, essentially the worst possible thing happened, and there's a certain amount of dissociation and almost like a letting go of that, like trying her best to be the same as everyone else."

She has disassociated from the family reality, and maybe she has stepped in a little bit more to the other place, and she has more access because she's gone, "I can't abandon myself as well, so what is this?"

"She's given it the attention and the intensity it needed."

SINCE HELAENA BEING A DRAGON DREAMER ISN'T IN THE BOOK, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF HOW YOU'RE GETTING TO CHART NEW TERRITORY FOR THE CHARACTER?

"It's really fun."

"I know that people feel so passionately and lovingly towards the original story, but I think that me, as a fan of things, I love a certain level of loyalty."

"Then I love the idea that I can be surprised or something could be subverted."

"It more flatters the audience's intelligence when you get to surprise them and subvert things, so I like the idea that people didn't see that coming for Helaena."

"Obviously, I can't watch the show as an impartial person."

I WOULD BE VERY IMPRESSED IF YOU COULD.

"[Laughs] I'd be like a psychopath, yeah."

WHAT'S IT LIKE BEING THE BRAN OF THIS SHOW?

"The thing is that I really have absolutely no idea what's happening next season."

"I think that moment in episode 8 is an example of how clear and how powerful she can be, but I don't think that's the beginning of now she can just communicate like that."

"I wouldn't be surprised if she walks away from Aemond, [mimes shaking her head and shoulders and blows out a breath], and she goes inside and goes to her room and that doesn't happen again for a long time."

"So who knows, but it would be really cool if I got to spend more time in that vision dream world."

"I would love that."

"There's that moment when Daemon's going over to the tree, and then there's a guy with a deer head or something."

"I think Helaena should hang out with him."

THEY SHOULD GO OFF TOGETHER HAVE THEIR OWN SIDE ADVENTURES. NEW SPINOFF IDEA.

"Yeah, exactly."

"That's what I want for the next season."

DOES THIS REVELATION THAT HELAENA IS ACTUALLY A DRAGON DREAMER MAKE YOU RETHINK YOUR CHARACTER AT ALL?

"Yeah, I think it's fun because it's essentially development, which is what you always hope for when you play someone."

"I just really hope that there's momentum from this, that we see her change more and more and keep on being surprising."

WHAT WAS IT LIKE FILMING THAT SCENE WITH MATT WHERE HELAENA KNOCKS DAEMON DOWN A PEG AND REALLY HUMBLES HIM IN THE FINALE?

"It was fun."

We were there on the green screen going like, 'What the hell is this going to look like?'

"But it's great to do work with the people from the other team because at this point the relationships are so bad that you're really only going to get Helaena and Daemon together in a vision."

"They're probably not going to be having lunch together anytime soon."

"[Laughs] I'd love to go and hang out with Harry Collett and Bethany Antonia and Phoebe Campbell next time."

"I'd like to go and hang out with Alys Rivers [Gayle Rankin], all the people that live in different castles."

"Maybe I could meet them in dreams."

"That would be really good."

"It'd be like ... did you ever play Club Penguin?"

[LAUGHS] I HAVE!

"It could be Club Penguin."

It's like, "Meet me here at 3 p.m. by the igloo."

That'd be so fun if Helaena could just be like, "Let's go and hang out in dreams. Go and touch the tree, and I'll be there."

NO ONE HAS EVER LISTENED TO HELAENA UNTIL DAEMON REALLY TAKES HER WORDS TO HEART AND CHANGES HIS ENTIRE COURSE. DOES HELAENA FULLY APPRECIATE OR EVEN KNOW THE PART SHE'S PLAYING IN THIS WAR NOW?

"No, I don't think so."

It's all so intense for her and so immediate that I don't think she even is always like, "I have this overarching understanding of the story."

"I think it comes to her in moments."

"Maybe it muddies the water more, but I feel like that whole dream stuff is up for interpretation as well from the audience."

"How much is she a projection of his guilt, or how much did he just need to hear that from someone?"

"It's this magical realm, so anything could be possible."

"Maybe that's something that she could say in a moment, and then she's gone from there again, and it's just like she was just being channeled through."

"Who knows? Maybe we'll find out more."

I think to her it's just, 'This is my really intense experience of being alive,' and that's enough self-analysis for anyone in that moment.

It's like, "What am I going through?"

"And then there's this clarity."

"She's got a lot to process this season."

"Bless her."

WHAT WAS IT LIKE FILMING THE SCENE WHERE HELAENA STANDS UP TO AEMOND AND REVEALS SHE KNOWS THE TRUTH ABOUT WHAT HE DID? THAT'S ONE OF THOSE RARE MOMENTS OF CLARITY FOR HER.

It's really fun to work with Ewan — yet again, I'm answering the question in an annoying way because I'm like, "I just like working with those people!"

"[Laughs] That was really cool."

"God, this is really the first time... it's the most eye-contact she's ever made in both seasons."

And she's really going like, "Don't fuck with me."

Basically, "Because I have this knowledge that's on a higher realm and I cannot and will not go and kill people for male ego and toxicity."

That's the other funny thing with this family: Yes, he's the Prince Regent or whatever, and her husband/brother is the King.

But actually to each other it's like, "You're my brother and you can push me and you can push me, but I know you."

"That is more about a sibling dynamic."

"Actually, I think that Aemond ironically is one of the people that Helaena feels she can communicate with a little bit better."

"They have this sort of affinity."

"It's just fun to play with those dynamics because she doesn't have a lot of long chats with anyone, so it's fun for me."

YEAH, THE LONGEST CHAT SHE'S HAD UNTIL NOW HAS BEEN WITH HER BUGS.

"Exactly, and they don't really answer back."

"This is very new and very overwhelming."

HELAENA DOESN'T WANT TO RIDE HER DRAGON INTO BATTLE, BUT DO YOU? HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT MISSING OUT ON THE BIG DRAGON BATTLES SO FAR?

"Yeah! It's House of the Dragon, and I've got a dragon, and I haven't got on it."

"I'm rusty."

"I really wanted to get on the dragon."

"I went and watched a few people on the buck this season, and I was so jealous."

"I'd really love to get on the dragon, or at least have a scene with Dreamfyre."

"Dreamfyre, like Vhagar, she's super ancient and big and cool."

"I'd like to see Helaena and Dreamfyre having a sort of spiritual connection, but I'm not complaining."

"I'm just happy to be here."

[spacebarbarianweird]

Hey! It's my birthday today and it's been really good but it's been kind of the first birthday I've ever properly celebrated with my chosen family and friends in a long time since a lot of trauma/ab*se, and I really hope it wouldn't be too much to ask (take as long as you need obvs) for some headcanons with a Tav that isn't going to celebrate on their birthday, but Astarion makes it special for them somehow and maybe they agree it's Tav's 'first' birthday 🥹🥹🥹👉👈

I love all your work and eagerly await your posts, they make my day 🥰🥰🥰

Hi! Hope you will like it! Now, Tiriel's birthday is also in autumn!

Birthday Gift

Summary: Tiriel has no idea when her real birthday is and she's never receieved birthday gifts. Astarion finds it outrageous.

Pairing: Astarion x OC (Tiriel)

Tags: fluff, hurt/comfort, post-game, named Tav, established relationship.

Thanks @themadlu for beta-reading!

Read on AO3

Masterlist

Headcanons

TW: a mention of abuse

Tiriel looks around.

Autumn.

Leaves are turning red and yellow, the winds are cold and promise winter. 

It’s beautiful, though the barbarian feels uneasy – the childhood memories. Winters are merciless in such wild places as the Sunset Mountains. Hunger, sickness, death… Sometimes her stepfather, a cruel chieftain, would order to leave certain people outside (too old, too weak) – to let them die and not waste scarce food. 

He would often pull Tiriel outside when the autumn winds were particularly harsh and say: “Look at this, pixie girl, I can just order not to give you any food and you will die like a stray cat. But I am merciful – I told your mother I’d save your pathetic half-blood life!” With these words, he would let her go and Tiriel would run to hide somewhere dark and safe.

She was lucky there were no harsh winters during her childhood. She would be the first to be deprived of food and warmth.

Only half a human. The result of an affair between her mother and an unknown elf. She still wonders why she was spared in the first place. It would have been so easy to murder a newborn girl.

They didn’t.

They kept her.

Maybe it was a superstition that elven children would become evil spirits once they died, or fear that Tiriel’s elven relatives would return. 

Those are questions without answers, Tiriel knows that.

Maybe there was a moment when her mother loved her. Maybe there was a moment when Tiriel’s stepfather really did forgive his wife. 

Tiriel doesn’t have happy memories from her childhood. It’s all too dark and miserable.

And autumns like this remind her of it.

“Hello, darling,” Astarion grins, returning to the road from the woods. His shirt is stained and he licks his lips. 

“What was it?” she asks.

“A boar. Didn’t expect I’d jump on it from the tree.”

Tiriel smiles as she wipes his face from blood and brushes his messy curls. Astarion doesn’t see himself in a mirror and, of all forms of intimacy, he especially cherishes being taken care of. Brushing his hair, cleaning his face, making sure he looks beautiful.  

Two years. Two years of her own happy memories. Where she has a person to talk to, to hold, to love. Astarion is a troubled person, but Tiriel loves him at his worst and at his best.

Astarion rubs her ear, forcing her to giggle.

“Let’s go?” he suggests. “The weather is getting worse, I want to spend the next few days somewhere warm!”

“It’s five miles to Longsaddle if I’ve read the map properly.”

Astarion takes her hand, and Tiriel feels how warm it is thanks to the boar blood. 

“Then we will meet the sunrise in a comfortable bed!” Astarion chuckles. “And in each other’s arms.”

“I doubt they have good beds there, so far from Luskan and other big cities.”

“We have low standards, you and I. As long as there is a blanket and a bed, we are fine, Besides I love using your breasts as my pillow.”

Tiriel bursts into laughter and receives a peck on the cheek.

Unfortunately, it can’t stop bad memories.

… Her siblings asked her to help them with something on a cliff. She followed them, only to be violently beaten by her older brothers. Tiriel even thought for a moment they were going to rape her, but, instead, they pushed her down to certain death.

Tiriel woke up in dirt and blood, with her arm broken in half, shivering and coughing. 

And with a cave bear ready to murder her. 

That’s when Tiriel felt rage for the first time.

It filled her veins with fire. Tiriel barely remembers what happened that night but she knows she killed that bear– and was left with facial scars. Then she came back, limping and bleeding. She thinks she fought someone, maybe one of her brothers or the chieftain and then she ran.

She ran into the mountains woods – no armor, no weapon, only rags and bare feet. 

Then she collapsed on the ground, hurt and scared in the middle of the woods, forever lost.

Tiriel remembers that moment vividly. 

A young girl who had barely hit puberty (because half-elves grow slower) woke up all alone and cried like a child. Then she got up and walked, dying of cold and hunger. 

Two days later she was found by a group of adventurers who sort of adopted her as their party child. An old halfling washed Tiriel’s hair and healed her wounds. A water genasi cooked the girl food and offered the warmest blankets. 

And the tiefling paladin asked Tiriel what her name was.

“My sweet, I thought it was me who tends to wander into dark thoughts,” Astarion squeezes. “Remembering your misfortunate youth again?”

“Yes. Just – similar. To what it was back then. The same autumn when I ran from home. The same autumn when I got my name.”

Tiriel, the little girl told the party. My name is Tiriel.

Astarion does the same thing he always does when he wants to support Tiriel.

He gives her a hug.

“Hush, Tiriel,” he murmurs. “You will never be alone again.”

Triel relaxes. That is her Astarion – a simple hug, a kiss, an embrace, and her nightmares perish.

He pulls away and Tiriel catches his most adorable smile – he doesn’t pretend, doesn’t show off, doesn’t perform. That’s real him.

“I want to kiss you,” he says.

She nods. They don’t have to ask permission to do things with each other. Kisses, hugs, grabbing hands, touching intimate parts – but they still do.

Tiriel asks if she can kiss Astarion.

Astarion states he wants to kiss her.

Simple as that.

Permission and declaration.

Astarion grazes her lips. He is in his predatory mood, when Tiriel just needs to accept whatever is going to be done to her. His strong hands grab her shoulders and tug at her.

Astarion finally breaks the kiss and stares at Tiriel for a few moments.

“I am not going anywhere,” Tiriel murmurs.

“I know, Tiriel. You are mine and I am yours,” Astarion presses his forehead to hers. 

They go down the hill and find themselves on a road that connects scarce towns and settlements far from the Swords Coast. The road is more or less walkable but it soon will be washed out due to rains. Tiriel notices Astarion’s visible disgust.

“Honestly darling, we should have stayed in Baldur’s Gate and lived a life of comfort!” he chuckles.

“You would die of boredom – besides I thought you’d had enough of that place.”

“True, but there are many other comfortable places! Tiriel, you deserve to wear a nice gown made of the best fabrics and sleep in a huge master’s bed where I will ravish you till you beg me to stop.”

Tiriel turns around to see her partner better. “And then I would die of boredom. Astarion look at us – I am a nomad and you were enslaved for so long you deserve to see the world.”

“It doesn’t mean I can’t whine and complain!”

“You can whine and complain all day long, Astarion. Why even bother to be in a relationship, if you can’t do this?”

They bicker and laugh for the next hour until they see a town ahead. Despite it being close to midnight, the town doesn’t sleep and is rather festive.

“What is going on here?” Tiriel asks a passerby as they enter the town. “Some local celebration?”

“It’s our duke’s first son’s birthday,” the woman shrugs. “Not like we care about the spoilt brat but you can’t say ‘no’ to a celebration right?”

The woman disappears in the crowd and Tiriel points at the stalls.

“Astarion, look! So many sweets! Oh, and there are fireworks!”

Astarion looks distant, as if something plagued his mind.

“Love, what is it?” She asks and feels a wave of anxiety. What if it’s too much? Feasts like this used to be his hunting grounds, what if he has a painful flashback?

Two years against two centuries is almost nothing.

“Tirie,l” he finally asks. “When is yours?”

“What?”

“Birthday. I know this is a huge deal for humans and the ones who grew up with them.”

“I don’t know.”

Astarion looks at her with shock.

“You… what?”

“I don’t know when mine is, I was never told. Neither a date nor a month.”

“Oh,” Astarion didn’t expect this answer. “Well, at least you know the year, right?”

“I don’t.”

Astarion raises his index finger as if wanting to point at something, but then he shakes his head in disbelief.

“We have been together for two years and you are telling me now that you don’t… how old you are?!”

Tiriel ponders a bit.

“Well, I know it was 1472 DR when I ran away, I was told by the party who adopted me… and I had had my first blood only two months before that. But I am a half-elf and it took me longer to grow up… So I think I was… fifteen? Maybe, sixteen… Or fourteen? Definitely not sixteen… Because my older brother was sixteen… Damn, I don't really know. Don’t bother.”

“Darling, I can’t not bother with the fact that I don’t know how old you are!”

“You say it as if I was one of those little girls who look older than they are and get their one-night stands in trouble!”

“It’s not that, Tiriel! It’s just… I don’t know… wrong!”

“It probably is.”

“It is wrong.”

“I cannot do anything about that.”

The wave of sadness drags her to the bottom of her dark thoughts.

Beatings.

Insults.

Hatred.

Pain.

All at once, since she was born.

Suddenly, she is a little girl again – a little girl thrown outside in the autumn rain, in the wind, wearing only a nightshirt. Tiriel thinks she hears her stepfather's laughter from behind a thick wooden door as a seven-year-old half-elf who cries and begs him to let her in.

Tiriel stops. Tears prickle her eyes. Her face burns, and an adult half-elven woman who fought gods and demons starts ugly crying like a child. 

She collapses on her knees not caring about the dirt, wailing and sniffing.

“Tiriel!” Astarion drops his sack and kneels beside her. “Did I do… Did I ask… Oh, hells.”

He puts his arms under her shoulders and presses her to himself, lulling and swaying side to side. He murmurs all the words of love and care he is capable of.

“Let’s take you somewhere warm,” he finally says, helping her to get up.

Despite the fest, they manage to find an inn with a free room, a cheap and simple one. Tiriel has to go inside first to invite Astarion, and then he takes everything in his hands again making sure the innkeeper brings warm blankets and prepares a bath. 

“Love,” he says. “Look at me.”

Tiriel tries not to think about how bad she looks right now with her puffy face and snot but obliges.

“That's much better, now let’s take you to the bath”

An hour later, Tiriel submerges herself into the hot water and expects Astarion to join her, but instead he goes straight to the exit.

“Astarion!” she calls him out.

“I will be back soon, just relax while I am away, all right?”

Tiriel hates being alone. Too many dark thoughts, besides, now she feels guilty. Astarion went through hell and she dares to complain?!

Her past isn’t that bad in comparison with his. She has no right to pity herself. 

Time passes slowly, and Tiriel feels restless. What if something happened? What if there was a vampire hunter? Or something else…

When she finally decides to get out of the bath, Tiriel hears familiar footsteps.

“Close your eyes, little love.”

Tiriel obeys and then feels something soft and plush in her arms.

“Open” Astarion places his chin on her shoulder.

A plushie-owlbear.

Soft and cute, it’s a toy appropriate for a little girl to cuddle with. 

A toy she never had.

“Well,” Astarion explains. “Since you don’t know when your birthday is, it can be… today. 17 of Uktar. Happy birthday, love,” he kisses her cheek. “And I suppose we should decide how old you are.”

“Thirty-eight,” Tiriel says, doing mental math. “Let it be thirty-eight”

“Happy thirty-eight birthday, my lovely, darling girl.”

Tiriel feels like crying again. It’s just a toy, a plushie, a thing for a baby. But she was never treated as a child, she was never given toys or dolls. And this gift… is the best she could have received.

“Do you like it?” he asks carefully.

“Yes… I do love it! Thank you! Did you steal it?”

“I won it from the toymaker. Played cards with her.”

Astarion sits on the edge of the bathtub and Tiriel wraps her hands around his waist tugging him into water. He lets out a laugh.

“Darling, you know how long it will take to fully dry?”

“Eternity! And we will spend this eternity in the inn warm and safe,” Tiriel says. “Astarion, please! I don’t want to go back on the road now, so many bad memories!”

He sits in front of her fully in the water. “Ok my sweet, what else do you want for your birthday? Maybe I could return the favor and let you ride me in some place from your traumatic memories? I’ve seen a rather terrible-looking dirt of mud.”

Tiriel thinks for a while and then says. “I don't mind riding you, but maybe in the bedroom?”

“Whatever you say, darling!”

**

It’s sunlight outside, and Astarion feels the tugging feeling in his undead chest. He misses sunlight, that's true. 

Tiriel is asleep in his arms. They actually didn’t make it to the bedroom and had the first round in the bathtub, and now Astarion needs to repair his shirt and find missing buttons from a doublet. 

It causes him anxiety, but he shrugs it away.

He can lose all the buttons and rip all his clothes, and the only reaction he will receive will be Tiriel’s jokes.

Tiriel hugs him from behind, placing her cheek on his mutilated back. The plushie is pressed between their bodies as his warrior-love has decided to sleep with it. 

He actually didn’t expect her to like the toy. Initially, he was panicking and looking for something appropriate for Tiriel. A ring? A bracelet? Maybe a weapon? Maybe just something sweet? 

Everything he was putting his eyes on was off. Jewelry Tiriel would never wear, a weapon she wouldn’t fight with. 

And then he saw the toys. An owlbear plushie for a woman who is always treated like a brave hero. Who didn’t have a proper childhood? 

The first birthday gift for someone who has never had a birthday.

And Tiriel loved it so much she pressed it to her chest the moment they stopped ‘celebrating’. She wanted to give it a proper name, and they spent at least a few minutes discussing their ideas before they settled on Big Eye.

“Tiriel,” Astarion mutters knowing she is asleep and won’t wake up. “I love you. You will never be alone, I promise. I will be with you unless you grow tired of me, and I am sure you won’t. Thank you for … finding me. Saving. Helping.”

Suddenly he feels her wet lips on his scars.

“I will never grow tired of you,” Tiriel promises.

--

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[thewidowsghost]

Seeing the Beauty (Piper McLean x Fem!Jackson!Reader) - Chapter 15

Series Masterlist

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The mountainside is on fire. Smoke billows hundreds of feet in the air. (Y/n) spots a helicopter – maybe firefighters or reporters – coming towards them. 

All around them is carnage. The Earthborn had melted into piles of clay, leaving behind only their rock missiles and some nasty bits of loincloth, but (Y/n) figures they would reform soon enough. Construction equipment lies in ruins and the ground is scarred and blackened.

Coach Hedge starts to move. He sits up with a groan and rubs his head. His canary yellow pants are now the color of Dijon mustard mixed with mud.

He blinks and looks around him at the battle scene. “Did I do this?”

Before Jason can reply, Hedge picks up his club and gets shakily to his feet. “Yeah, you wanted some hoof? I gave you some hoof, cupcakes! Who’s the goat, huh?”

He does a little dance, kicking rocks and making what are probably rude satyr gestures at the piles of clay.

Leo cracks a smile, and Jason can’t help it — he starts to laugh. It probably sounds a little hysterical, but it’s such a relief to be alive, he doesn’t care.

Then a man stands up across the clearing. Tristan McLean staggers forward. His eyes are hollow, shell-shocked, like someone who’d just walked through a nuclear wasteland. “Piper?” he calls. His voice cracks. “Pipes, what — what is —” He can’t complete the thought. Piper runs over to him and hugs him tightly but he almost doesn’t seem to know her.

(Y/n) had felt a similar way — that morning at the Grand Canyon, when she woke with no memory. But Mr. McLean has the opposite problem. He has too many memories, too much trauma his mind just can’t handle. He is coming apart.

“We need to get him out of here,” Jason says, as though reading (Y/n)’s mind.

“Yeah, but how?” Leo says. “He’s in no shape to walk.”

Jason glances up at the helicopter, which is now circling directly overhead. “Can you make us a bullhorn or something?” he asks Leo. “Piper has some talking to do.”

. . .

Borrowing the helicopter is  easy. Getting her dad on board is not.

Piper needs only a few words through Leo’s improvised bullhorn to convince the pilot to land on the mountain. The Park Service copter is big enough for medical evacuations or search and rescue, and when Piper tells the very nice ranger pilot lady that it would be a great idea to fly them to the Oakland Airport, she readily agreed.

“No,” her dad mutters, as they pick him up off the ground. “Piper, what — there were monsters — there were monsters —”

She needs (Y/n)’s help to hold him, while Coach Hedge gathers their supplies. Fortunately Hedge had put his pants and shoes back on, so Piper doesn’t have to explain the goat legs.

It breaks Piper’s heart to see her dad like this — pushed beyond the breaking point, crying like a little boy. She doesn’t know what the giant had done to him exactly, how the monsters had shattered his spirit, but she doesn’t think she can stand to find out.

“It’ll be okay, Dad,” she says, making her voice as soothing as possible. She doesn’t want to charmspeak her own father, but it seems like the only way. “These people are my friends. We’re going to help you. You’re safe now.”

He blinks, and looks up at helicopter rotors. “Blades. They had a machine with so many blades. They had six arms . . .”

When they get him to the bay doors, the pilot comes over to help. “What’s wrong with him?” she asks.

“Smoke inhalation,” Jason suggests. “Or heat exhaustion.”

“We should get him to a hospital,” the pilot says.

“It’s okay,” Piper replies. “The airport is good.”

“Yeah, the airport is good,” the pilot agrees immediately. Then she frowns, as if uncertain why she’d changed her mind. “Isn’t he Tristan McLean, the movie star?”

“No,” Piper says. “He only looks like him. Forget it.”

“Yes,” the pilot replies. “Only looks like him. I —” She blinks, confused. “I forgot what I was saying. Let’s get going."

Jason raises his eyebrows at Piper, obviously impressed, but Piper feels miserable. She doesn't want to twist people’s minds, convince them of things they didn’t believe. It feels so bossy, so wrong — like something Drew would do back at camp, or Medea in her evil department store. And how will it help my father? She can’t convince him he would be okay, or that nothing had happened. His trauma is just too deep.

Finally they get him on board, and the helicopter takes off. The pilot keeps getting questions over her radio, asking her where she is going, but she ignores them. They veer away from the burning mountain and head towards the Berkeley Hills.

“Piper.” Her dad grasps her hand and holds on like he was afraid he’d fall. “It’s you? They told me—they told me you would die. They said . . . horrible things would happen.”

“It’s me, Dad.” It takes all her willpower not to cry. She has to be strong for him. “Everything’s going to be okay.”

“They were monsters,” he says. “Real monsters. Earth spirits, right out of Grandpa Tom’s stories — and the Earth Mother was angry with me. And the giant, Tsul’kalu, breathing fire —” He focuses on Piper again, his eyes like broken glass, reflecting a crazy kind of light. “They said you were a demigod, Your mother was . . ."

“Aphrodite,” Piper says. “Goddess of love.”

“I – I –” he takes a shaky breath, then seems to forget how to exhale.

Piper’s friends are careful not to watch. Leo fiddles with a lug nut from his tool belt. Jason gazes at the valley below – the roads backing up as mortals stop their cars and gawk at the burning mountain. (Y/n) is drinking a bottle of water – Smart thing for a Poesidon kid to do, Piper thinks – and studying the nicks in Tsunami’s blade. Geeson chews the stub of his carnation, and for once, the satyr doesn’t look in the mood to yell or boast. 

Traistan McLean isn’t supposed to be seen like this. He’s a star – confident, stylish, suave, and always in control. That was the image he’d always projected. Piper had seen the image falter before, but this is different. Now it’s broken, gone.

“I didn’t know about Mom,” Piper tells him. “Not until you were taken. When we found out where you were, we came right away. My friends helped me. No one will hurt you again.”

Her dad can’t stop shivering. “You’re heroes – you and your friends. I can’t believe it. You’re a real hero, not like me. Not playing a part. I’m so proud of you, Pipes.” But the words are muttered listlessly, in a semi-trance. 

He gazes down on the valley, and his grip on Piper’s hand goes slack. “Your mother never told me.”

“She thought it was for the best.” It sounds lame, even to Piper, and no amount of charmspeak can change that. But she doesn’t tell her dad what Aphrodite had really worried about: If he has to spend the rest of his life with those memories , knowing that gods and spirits walk the earth, it will shatter him.

Piper feels inside the pocket of her jacket. The vial is still there, warm to her touch. How can I erase his memories? Dad finally knows who I am. He’s proud of me, and I’m his hero, not the other way around. He’d never send me away, now. They shared a secret. How can I go back to the way things were?

She holds his hand, speaking to him about small things — her time at the Wilderness School, her cabin at Camp Half-Blood. She tells him how Coach Hedge ate carnations and got knocked on his butt on Mount Diablo, how Leo had tamed a dragon, how much of a good swordfighter and battle strategist (Y/n) was, and how Jason had made wolves back down by talking in Latin. Her friends smile reluctantly as she recounts their adventures. Her dad seems to relax as she talks, but he doesn’t smile. Piper isn’t even sure he heard her.

As they pass over the hills into the East Bay, Jason tenses. He leans so far out the doorway (Y/n) is afraid he’d fall, and she reaches out to grab the back of his collared shirt.

He points. “What is that?”

Piper looks down, but she doesn’t see anything interesting — just hills, woods, houses, little roads snaking through the canyons. A highway cuts through a tunnel in the hills, connecting the East Bay with the inland towns.

“Where?” Piper asks.

“That road,” he replies. “The one that goes through the hills.”

Piper picks up the com helmet the pilot had given her and relays the question over the radio. The answer isn’t very exciting.

“She says it’s Highway 24,” Piper reports. “That’s the Caldecott Tunnel. Why?”

Jason stares intently at the tunnel entrance, but he says nothing. It disappears from view as they fly over downtown Oakland, but Jason still stares into the distance, his expression almost as unsettled as Piper’s dad’s.

“Monsters,” her dad sats, a tear tracing his cheek. “I live in a world of monsters.”

. . . 

Air traffic control doesn't want to let an unscheduled helicopter land at the Oakland Airport – until Piper gets on the radio, that is. 

They all unload on the tarmac, and everyone looks at Piper. 

“What now?” (Y/n) asks Piper gently. 

Piper feels slightly uncomfortable. She doesn’t want to be in charge, but for her dad’s sake, she has to appear confident. She has no plan. She’d just remembered that he’d flown into Oakland, which means his private plane would still be here. But today is the solstice. They have to save Hera. They have no idea where to go or even if they were too late. And how can I leave Dad in this condition?

“First think,” Piper says. “I – I have to get my dad home. I’m sorry, guys.”

Leo’s and Jason’s faces fall, but (Y/n)’s expression settles into an empathetic one – as though she understood exactly the problem that was raging in Piper’s head. 

“Oh,” Leo says. “I mean, absolutely. He needs you right now. We can take it from here. 

“Pipes, no,” Tristan McLean had been sitting in the hospital doorway, a blanket around his shoulders. But he stumbles to his feet. “You have a mission. A quest. I can’t –”

“I’ll take care of him,” interrupts Coach Hedge.

Piper stares at him. The satyr is the last person she’d expected to offer. “You?” she asks.

“I’m a protector,” Gleeson says. “That’s my job, not fighting.”

He sounds a little crestfallen, and Piper realizes maybe she shouldn’t have recounted how he got knocked unconscious in the last battle. In his own way, maybe the satyr is as sensitive as her dad.

Then Hedge straightens, and set his jaw. “Of course, I’m good at fighting, too.” He glares at them all, daring them to argue.

“Yes,” Jason says.

“Absolutely,” (Y/n) grins.

“Terrifying,” Leo agrees.

The coach grunts . “But I’m a protector, and I can do this. You dad’s right, Piper. You need to carry on with the quest.”

“But . . .” Piper’s eyes sting, as if she were back in the forest fire. “Dad . . .”

He holds out his arms, and she hugs him. He feels frail. He is trembling so much, it scares her.

“Let’s give them a minute,” Jason says, and they take the pilot a few yards down the tarmac.

“I can’t believe it,” her dad says. “I failed you.”

“No, Dad!”

“The things they did, Piper, the visions they showed me . . .”

“Dad, listen.” She takes out the vial from her pocket. “Aphrodite gave me this, for you. It takes away your recent memories. It’ll make it like none of this ever happened.”

He gazes at her, as if translating her words from a foreign language. “But you’re a hero. I would forget that?”

“Yes,” Piper whispers. She forces an assuring tone into her voice. “Yes, you would. It’ll be like—like before.”

He closed his eyes and took a shaky breath. “I love you, Piper. I always have. I — I sent you away because I didn’t want you exposed to my life. Not the way I grew up — the poverty, the hopelessness. Not the Hollywood insanity either. I thought — I thought I was protecting you.” He manages a brittle laugh. “As if your life without me was better, or safer.”

Piper takes his hand. She’d heard him talk about protecting her before, but she’d never believed it. She’d always thought he was just rationalizing. Her dad seems so confident and easygoing, like his life is a joyride. How can he claim she needs protecting from that?

Finally Piper understands he’d been acting for her benefit, trying not to show how scared and insecure he was. He really had been trying to protect her. And now his ability to cope has been destroyed.

She offers him the vial. “Take it. Maybe someday we’ll be ready to talk about this again. When you’re ready.”

“When I’m ready,” he mutters. “You make it sound like — like I’m the one growing up. I’m supposed to be the parent.” He takes the vial. His eyes glimmer with a small desperate hope. “I love you, Pipes.”

“Love you, too, Dad.”

He drinks the pink liquid. His eyes roll up into his head, and he slumps forward. Piper catches him, and her friends run up to help.

“Got him,” Hedge says. The satyr stumbles, but he is strong enough to hold Tristan McLean upright. “I already asked our ranger friend to call up his plane. It’s on the way now. Home address?”

Piper is about to tell her. Then a thought occurs to her; she checks her dad’s pocket, and his BlackBerry is still there. It seems bizarre to Piper that he’d still have something so normal after everything he’d gone through, but she guesses Enceladus hadn’t seen any reason to take it.

“Everything’s on here,” Piper says. “Address, his chauffeur’s number. Just watch out for Jane.”

Hedge’s eyes light up, like he sensed a possible fight. “Who’s Jane?”

By the time Piper explains, her dad’s sleek white Gulf-stream had taxied next to the helicopter.

Hedge and the flight attendant get Piper’s dad on board. Then Hedge comes down one last time to say his good-byes. He gives Piper a hug and glares at Jason, (Y/n), and Leo. “You cupcakes take care of this girl, you hear? Or I’m gonna make you do push-ups.”

“Absolutely, Coach,” (Y/n) smiles, her eyes crinkling with smile lines. 

“You got it,” Leo says, a smile tugging at his mouth.

“No push-ups,” Jason promises.

Piper gives the old satyr one more hug. “Thank you, Gleeson. Take care of him, please."

“I got this, McLean,” he assures her. “They got root beer and veggie enchiladas on this flight, and one hundred percent linen napkins — yum! I could get used to this.”

(Y/n) steps forward, pulling the Coach to the side for a moment. “I’ll talk to Grover, for you, okay?” she says. 

The Coach smiles slightly, clapping her on the shoulder. “You’re a good kid, Jackson.” Trotting up the stairs, the Coach loses one shoe, and his hoof is visible for just a second. The flight attendant’s eyes widen, but she looks away and pretends nothing is wrong. Piper figures she’d probably seen stranger things, working for Tristan McLean.

When the plane is heading down the runway, Piper starts to cry. She’d been holding it in too long and she just can’t anymore. Before she knows it, (Y/n) is hugging her, and Leo stands uncomfortably nearby, pulling Kleenex out of his tool belt.

“Your dad’s in good hands,” (Y/n) murmurs. “You did amazing.”

Piper sobs into (Y/n)’s shirt. She allows herself to be held for six deep breaths, inhaling (Y/n)’s natural ocean scent. And then seven. PIper decides she can’t indulge herself anymore. Her friends need her. The helicopter pilot is already looking uncomfortable, like she is starting to wonder why she’d flown them here. 

“Thank you, guys,” Piper says. “I —” She wants to tell them how much they mean to her. They’d sacrificed everything, maybe even their quest, to help her. She can’t repay them, can’t even put her gratitude into words. But her friends’ expressions tell her they understand.

Then, right next to Jason, the air begins to shimmer. At first Piper thinks it’s heat off the tarmac, or maybe gas fumes from the helicopter, but she’d seen something like this before in Medea’s fountain. It’s an Iris message. An image appears in the air — a dark-haired girl in silver winter camouflage, holding a bow.

Jason stumbles back in surprise. “Thalia!”

“Thank the gods,” says the Hunter. The scene behind her is hard to make out, but Piper hears yelling, metal clashing on metal, and explosions. “We’ve found her,” Thalia says. “Where are you?”

“Oakland,” he replies. “Where are you?”

“The Wolf House! Oakland is good; you’re not too far. We’re holding off the giant’s minions, but we can’t hold them forever. Get here before sunset, or it’s all over.”

“Then it’s not too late?” Piper cries. Hope surges through her, but Thalia’s expression quickly dampens it.

“Not yet,” Thalia says. “But Jason — it’s worse than I realized. Porphyrion is rising. Hurry.”

“But where is the Wolf House?” he pleads.

“Our last trip,” Thalia says, her image starting to flicker. “The park. Jack London. Remember?”

This makes no sense to Piper, and (Y/n) comments “Jason, I love your sister like a sister, but she could’ve made more sense.” 

Jason, however, looks like he’d been shot. He totters, his face pale, and the Iris message disappears.

“Bro, you all right?” Leo asks. “You know where she is?”

“Nfes,” Jason says. “Sonoma Valley. Not far. Not by air.”

Piper turns to the ranger pilot, who’d been watching all this with an increasingly puzzled expression.

“Ma’am,” Piper says with her best smile. “You don’t mind helping us one more time, do you?”

“I don’t mind,” the pilot agrees.

“We can’t take a mortal into battle,” Jason says. “It’s too dangerous.” He turns to Leo. “Do you think you could fly this thing?”

“Um . . .” Leo’s expression doesn’t reassure Piper, but then (Y/n) speaks.

“I can.”

Jason, Piper, and Leo look at her, bewildered and (Y/n) shrugs. 

“Rachel’s dad had a helicopter,” (Y/n) explains, though that wasn’t much of an explanation. 

Piper smiles at the ranger again. “You don’t have a problem with an under-aged unlicensed kid borrowing your copter, do you? We’ll return it.”

“I –” The pilot nearly chokes on the words, but she gets them out: “I don’t have a problem with that.”

(Y/n) grins. “Hop in.”

. . . 

The sun is going down as they fly north over the Richmond Bridge, and (Y/n) can’t believe the day had gone so quickly. Nothing like raging ADHD and a good fight to the death to make time fly, she thinks.

Piloting the chopper, she goes back and forth between confidence and panic. If she doesn’t think about it, (Y/n) finds herself automatically flipping the right switches, checking the altimeter, easing back on the stick, and flying straight. If she allowed herself to think about what she's doing, her brain keeps telling her that Jason’s dad would strike them out of the sky.

“Going okay?” Piper asks from the copilot’s seat. Piper sounds more nervous than she is, so (Y/n) puts on a brace face. 

“Great,” (Y/n) replies. 

“What’s the Wolf House?” Leo asks, he and Jason kneeling side by side in between (Y/n) and Piper’s seats. 

“An abandoned mansion in the Sonoma Valley. A demigod built it – Jack London,” Jason replies. 

Leo can’t seem to place the name. “He an actor?”

“A writer, I think,” (Y/n) replies and Piper hums in agreement.

“Adventure stuff, right? Call of the Wild? White Fang?” 

“Yeah,” Jason says. “He was a son of Mercury — I mean, Hermes. He was an adventurer, traveled the world. He was even a hobo for a while. Then he made a fortune writing. He bought a big ranch in the country and decided to build this huge mansion — the Wolf House.”

“Named that ’cause he wrote about wolves?” Leo guesses.

“Partially,” Jason replies. “But the site, and the reason he wrote about wolves — he was dropping hints about his personal experience. There’re a lot of holes in his life story — how he was born, who his dad was, why he wandered around so much — stuff you can only explain if you know he was a demigod.”

The bay slips behind them, and the helicopter continues north. Ahead of them, yellow hills rolled out as far as (Y/n) can see.

“So Jack London went to Camp Half-Blood,” Leo guesses.

“No,” Jason frowns. “No, he didn’t.”

“Bro, you’re freaking me out with the mysterious talk. Are you remembering your past or not?”

“Pieces,” Jason says. “Only pieces. None of it good. The Wolf House is on sacred ground. It’s where London started his journey as a child — where he found out he was a demigod. That’s why he returned there. He thought he could live there, claim that land, but it wasn’t meant for him. The Wolf House was cursed. It burned in a fire a week before he and his wife were supposed to move in. A few years later, London died, and his ashes were buried on the site.”

“So,” Piper says, “how do you know all this?”

A shadow crosses Jason’s face. Probably just a cloud, but (Y/n) can swear the shape looked like an eagle.

“I started my journey there too,” Jason replies. “It’s a powerful place for demigods, a dangerous place. If Gaea can claim it, use its power to entomb Hera on the solstice and raise Porphyrion — that might be enough to awaken the earth goddess fully.”

(Y/n) kept her hand on the joystick, guiding the chopper at full speed — racing towards the north. He can see some weather ahead — a spot of darkness like a cloudbank or a storm, right where they are going.

Then the  helicopter shudders. Metal creaks, and (Y/n) can almost imagine the tapping was Morse code: Not the end. Not the end.

She levels out the chopper, and the creaking stops. She’s just hearing things. 

“I think we’re about thirty minutes out,” (Y/n) tells her friends. “If you want to get some rest, now’s a good time.”

. . . 

Jason straps himself in the back of the helicopter and passes out almost immediately, but Piper and Leo stay wide-awake with (Y/n).

After a few minutes of awkward silence, Leo says, “Your dad’ll be fine, you know. Nobody’s gonna mess with him with that crazy goat around.

Piper glances over, and Leo is struck by how much she’d changed. Not just physically either. Her presence was stronger. She seemed more . . . here. At Wilderness School, she’d spent the semester trying to to be seen, hiding out in the back row of the classroom, the back of the bus, the corner of the lunchroom as far as possible from the loud kids. Now she would be impossible to miss. It doesn’t matter what she is wearing – you’d have to look at her.

“My dad,” she says thoughtfully. “Yeah, I know. I was thinking about Jason. I’m worried.”

Leo nods. The closer they get to the bank of dark clouds, the more Leo worries too. “He’s starting to remember. That’s got to make him a little edgy.”

“But what if . . . what if he’s a different person?” Piper says. 

Leo had been having similar thoughts. If the Mist could affect their memories, could Jason’s whole personality be an illusion, too? If their friend isn’t their friend, and they are heading into a cursed mansion – a dangerous place for demigods – what would happen if Jason’s full memory comes back in the middle of a battle?

(Y/n) glances back at the sleeping Son of Zeus. “After all we’ve been through? I can’t see it. We’re a team. Jason can handle it.”

“How are you doing?” Piper asks, and Leo and Piper look at her.

“Okay,” (Y/n) replies truthfully. “Memories sort of coming back, though there are still some big gaps.” (Y/n) goes to say something else, but then they hit the storm clouds.

At first, (Y/n) thinks rocks are pelting the windshield. Then she realizes it’s sleet. Frost builds up around the edges of the glass, and slushy waves of ice blot out her view. 

“An ice storm?” Piper shouts over the engine and the wind. “Is it supposed to be this cold in Sonoma?”

(Y/n) isn’t sure, but something about this storm seems conscious, malevolent – like it’s intentionally slamming them. 

Jason wakes quickly. He crawls forward, grabbing Leo’s shoulder and one of the seats for balance. “We’ve got to be getting close.”

(Y/n) is too busy wrestling with the stick to reply. Suddenly, it isn’t so easy to drive the chopper – it’s movements turning sluggish and jerky. THe whole machine shudders in the icy wind. The helicopter probably hadn’t been prepped for cold-weather flying. The controls refuse to respond, and they start to lose altitude.

Below them, the ground is a dark quilt of trees and fog. The ridge of a hill looms in front of them and (Y/n) yanks the stick, just clearing the treetops. 

“There!” Jason shouts. 

A small valley opens up before them, with the murky shape of a building in the middle. Leo aims the helicopter straight for it. All around them are flashes of light that reminds (Y/n) of the tracer fire at Midas’s compound. Trees crackle and explode at the edge of the clearing, and a black and purple figure streaks in front of the windshield.

“Out!” (Y/n) orders. They leap from the helicopter and barely clear the rotors before a massive BOOM shake the ground, knocking (Y/n) off her feet and splattering ice all over her. 

She gets up shakily and sees the completely flattened Bell 412 smoldering with purple flames. 

Then the creature lands in front of her, its green eyes narrowed with hostility. The black dragon’s mouth opens and begins to glow. (Y/n) closes her eyes and raises her hand, turning her head away. 

The dragon closes his mouth, and he tilts his head. Then he presses his head to (Y/n)’s hand. (Y/n) opens her eyes, and meets the dragon’s softened green gaze. He makes a sound like a cat purring, and he opens his mouth again, showing his toothless mouth. 

“Toothless,” (Y/n) murmurs, scratching underneath the dragon’s chin. 

“Jason! (Y/n)!” a girl’s voice calls. 

Thalia appears from the fog, her parka caked with snow. Her bow is in her hand, and her quiver is almost empty. She runs towards them, but makes it only a few steps before a six-armed ogre – one of the Earthborn – bursts from the storm behind her, a raised club in each hand.

“Look out!” Leo yells, and Toothless lets out a rumble. The four demigods rush to help, but Thalia has it covered. She launches into a flip, notching an arrow as she pivots like gymnast and lands in a kneeling position. The ogre gets a silver arrow right between the eyes and melts into a pile of clay. 

Thalia stands and retrieves, but the point had snapped off. “That was my last one.” She kicks the pile of clay resentfully. “Stupid ogre.” Then she sees the dragon looming over the demigods and draws a silver dagger. 

“Wait!” (Y/n) says as Toothless rumbles again. “Toothless, meet Thalia. Thalia, meet Toothless.”

“You tamed a Night Fury?” Thaila looks impressed, and then she hugs Jason and (Y/n), and nods to Piper. “Just in time. My Hunters are holding a perimeter around the mansion, but we’ll be overrun any minute.”

“By Earthborn?” Jason asks.

“And wolves — Lycaon’s minions.” Thalia blows a fleck of ice off her nose. “Also storm spirits —”

“But we gave them to Aeolus!” Piper protests.

“Who tried to kill us,” Leo reminds her. “Maybe he’s helping Gaea again.”

“I don’t know,” Thalia says. “But the monsters keep re-forming almost as fast as we can kill them. We took the Wolf House with no problem: surprised the guards and sent them straight to Tartarus. But then this freak snowstorm blew in. Wave after wave of monsters started attacking. Now we’re surrounded. I don’t know who or what is leading the assault, but I think they planned this. It was a trap to kill anyone who tried to rescue Hera.”

“Where is she?” Jason asked.

“Inside,” Thalia says. “We tried to free her, but we can’t figure out how to break the cage. It’s only a few minutes until the sun goes down. Hera thinks that’s the moment when Porphyrion will be reborn. Plus, most monsters are stronger at night. If we don’t free Hera soon —” She doesn’t need to finish the thought.

Leo, Jason, (Y/n) and Piper follow Thalia into the ruined mansion, Toothless trotting along behind.

Jason steps over the threshold and immediately collapses, falling back onto the Night Fury.

“Hey!” Leo exclaims. “None of that, man. What’s wrong?”

“This place . . .” Jason shakes his head. “Sorry . . . It came rushing back to me.”

“So you have been here,” Piper says.

“We both have,” Thalia replies. Her expression is grim, like she’s reliving someone’s death. “This is where my mom took us when Jason was a child. She left him here, told me he was dead. He just disappeared.”

“She gave me to the wolves,” Jason murmurs. “At Hera’s insistence. She gave me to Lupa.”

“That part I didn’t know.” Thalia frowns. “Who is Lupa?”

An explosion shakes the building. Just outside, a blue mushroom cloud billows up, raining snowflakes and ice like a nuclear blast made of cold instead of heat.

“Maybe this isn’t the time for questions,” Leo suggests. “Show us the goddess.”

Once inside, Jason seems to get his bearings. The house is built in a giant U, and Jason leads them between the two wings to an outside courtyard with an empty reflecting pool. At the bottom of the pool, just as Jason had described from his dream, two spires of rock and root tendrils had cracked through the foundation.

One of the spires is much bigger — a solid dark mass about twenty feet high, and to (Y/n) it looks like a stone body bag. Underneath the mass of fused tendrils she can make out the shape of a head, wide shoulders, a massive chest and arms, like the creature is stuck waist deep in the earth. No, not stuck — rising.

On the opposite end of the pool, the other spire is smaller and more loosely woven. Each tendril is as thick as a telephone pole, with so little space between them that Leo doubts he could’ve gotten his arm through. Still, he can see inside. And in the center of the cage stands Tia Callida.

She looks exactly like Leo remembers: dark hair covered with a shawl, the black dress of a widow, a wrinkled face with glinting, scary eyes.

She doesn’t glow or radiate any sort of power. She looks like a regular mortal woman, his good old psychotic babysitter.

(Y/n) drops into the pool and approaches the cage. “Hera, you in a little bit of trouble?”

Hera crosses her arms and sighs in exasperation. “Don’t you dare talk to me that way, Jackson. Get me out of here!”

“My brother soloed Ares, maybe I should whoop your ass, too,” (Y/n) replies.

Thalia steps next to him and looks at the cage with distaste — or maybe she is looking at the goddess. “We tried everything we could think of, but maybe my heart wasn’t in it. If it was up to me, I’d just leave her in there.”

“Ohh, Thalia Grace,” the goddess says. “When I get out of here, you’ll be sorry you were ever born.”

“Save it!” Thalia snaps. “You’ve been nothing but a curse to every child of Zeus for ages. \bu sent a bunch of intestinally challenged cows after my friend Annabeth —”

“She was disrespectful!”

“Youu dropped a statue on my legs.”

“It was an accident!”

“Bullshit!” (Y/n) replies.

“And you took my brother!” Thalia’s voice cracks with emotion. “Here — on this spot. You ruined our lives. We should leave you to Gaea!”

“Hey,” Jason intervenes. “Thalia — Sis — I know. But this isn’t the time. You should help your Hunters.”

Thalia clenches her jaw. “Fine. For you, Jason. But if you ask me, she isn’t worth it.” Thalia turns, leaps out of the pool, and storms from the building.

Leo turns to Hera with grudging respect. “Intestinally challenged cows?”

“Focus on the cage, Leo,” she grumbles. “And Jason — you are wiser than your sister. I chose my champion well.”

“I’m not your champion, lady,” Jason says. “I’m only helping you because you stole my memories and you're better than the alternative. Speaking of which, what’s going on with that?” He nods to the other spire that looks like the king-size granite body bag. Was (Y/n) imagining it, or had it grown taller since they’d gotten here?

“That, Jason,” Hera says, “is the king of the giants being reborn.”

“Gross,” Piper comments.

“Indeed,” Hera agrees. “Porphyrion, the strongest of his kind. Gaea needed a great deal of power to raise him again — my power. For weeks I’ve grown weaker as my essence was used to grow him a new form.”

“So you’re like a heat lamp,” Leo guesses. 

“Or fertilizer,” (Y/n) grins.

The goddess glares at them. “Joke all you wish,” Hera says in a clipped tone. “But at sundown, it will be too late. The giant will awake. He will offer me a choice: marry him, or be consumed by the earth. And I cannot marry him. We will all be destroyed. And as we die, Gaea will awaken.”

Leo frowns at the giant’s spire. “Can’t we blow it up or something?”

“Without me, you do not have the power,” Hera says. “You might as well try to destroy a mountain.”

“Done that once today,” Jason replies.

“Just hurry up and let me out!” Hera demands.

Jason scratches his head. “Leo, can you do it?”

“I don’t know.” Leo tries not to panic. “Besides, if she’s a goddess, why hasn’t she busted herself out?”

Hera paces furiously around her cage, cursing in Ancient Greek. “Use your brain, Leo Valdez. I picked you because you’re intelligent. Once trapped, a god’s power is useless. Your own father trapped me once in a golden chair. It was humiliating! I had to beg — beg him for my freedom and apologize for throwing him off Olympus.”

“Sounds fair,” Leo says.

Hera movies him the godly stink-eye. “I’ve watched you since you were a child, son of Hephaestus, because I knew you could aid me at this moment. If anyone can find a way to destroy this abomination, it is you.”

“But it’s not a machine. It’s like Gaea thrust her hand out of the ground and . . .” Leo feels dizzy. The line of their prophecy comes back to him: The forge and dove shall break the cage.“Hold on. I do have an idea. Piper, I’m going to need your help. And we’re going to need time.”

The air turns brittle with cold. The temperature drop so fast, Leo’s lips crack and his breath changes to mist. Frost coats the walls of the Wolf House. Venti rush in — but instead of winged men, these are shaped like horses, with dark storm-cloud bodies and manes that crackle with lightning. Some have silver arrows sticking out of their flanks. Behind them came red-eyed wolves and the six-armed Earthborn.

Piper draws her dagger. Jason grabs an ice-covered plank off the pool floor. (Y/n) summons Tsunami; Leo reaches into his tool belt, but he is so shaken up, all he produces is a tin of breath mints. He shoves them back in, hoping nobody had noticed, and draws a hammer instead.

One of the wolves pads forward. It is dragging a human-size statue by the leg. At the edge of the pool, the wolf opens its maw and drops the statue for them to see — an ice sculpture of a girl, an archer with short spiky hair and a surprised look on her face.

“Thalia!” Jason rushes forward, but Piper and Leo pull him back. The ground around Thalia’s statue was already webbed with ice. Leo fears if Jason touched her, he might freeze too.

“Who did this?” Jason yells. His body crackled with electricity. “I’ll kill you myself!”

From somewhere behind the monsters, Leo hears a girl’s laughter, clear and cold. She steps out of the mist in her snowy white dress, a silver crown atop her long black hair. She regards them with those deep brown eyes Leo had thought were so beautiful in Quebec.

Word Count: 6200 words

[atom-writings]

Hii I love your blog ♡ I dont know if you're still taking asks but if yes how would France, Germany and England react to a s/o telling them they had been abused and have ptsd?

hetalia france, germany, and england with a s/o who has ptsd

1.8k words ~ gender neutral headcanons / scenarios

tw: obvs. mentions of trauma but nothing specific

a/n: sorry for being gone so long. my life is like a poor little weasel getting hit by a big hammer rn. hope this lives up to ur expectations anon !!! <3

France

- When you tell him, he's not surprised. He's spent so much time around you that he had always had his suspicions.

- But even so, when you first revealed the details of what you had gone through... Francis couldn't stop himself from crying. Seeing you now, knowing how you had been hurt, just broke his heart.

”No one will ever treat you like that again, ok?“ Francis told you, his voice shaking as he held you tightly against his chest, ”Never. Not as long as you live.“

- Considering how soft he already is around you, his behaviour changes very little after that.

- But, now, whenever he has the inevitable urge to run away, he just can't. He remembers how people have treated you before, and realizes that he can't be selfish like that to you ever again. So, fights with Francis are going to be more like discussions in a therapist's office.

- He'd never raise his voice to you or blame you for anything you didn't intend to do. Having gone through similar trauma himself, he remembers how long it took for him to fully move on from that; so any emotional outbursts on your part are easily forgiven.

- But in general, he's just very forgiving.

- Although he may be a great boyfriend to someone with PTSD, he might also become a little more controlling. Events that he wouldn't have batted an eye at you attending before might become a problem, as he worries about you being able to protect yourself.

- Friends who he used to mildly dislike, he suddenly insists on you cutting off. It's like he thinks of you as some delicate flower. It's all with the best of intentions, but it will be annoying for a while.

- Other than that though, he'd be such a calm, comforting presence to a S/O with trauma.

It had been such a long time since you'd had a nightmare about being back there. You couldn't even remember what the dream was about, all you knew was that you were back there. Which was more than enough to rip you from your slumber, sending you into a panic you hadn't experienced in months.

But as you shot up, sweat dripping down your forehead and heart pumping, Francis was right there beside you. In a flash, he turned on the bedside lamp and shook himself out of his sleep, immediately turning to focus on you.

”Mon chéri, did it happen again?“ He asked softly, adjusting himself so he gave you plenty of space on the bed.

You nodded, and he only sighed, ”That's alright, Y/N, you're gonna get through this.“

Your hands still shook even as he tried to calm you down, your gaze flicking from side to side.

”Breath with me,  amour, breath with me...” He chided, resting a gentle hand against your chest.

“1... Breath in,” He took a deep breath,  making sure you followed along, ”Breath out.“

For the next few minutes, not a word was exchanged between you two other than Francis guiding you through slowing your panicked heart.

”You did so good, Y/N...“  Is all he says as your hands finally stop shaking, ”I'm so proud of you. That wasn't easy, alright? But you did perfectly.“

You can't help but smile at his incessant praises, ”Can we just go to sleep now?“

”Do you want me to hold you while you sleep?” He chuckles, leaning closer to you.

“Maybe...”

Germany

- Ludwig wouldn't be angry, he wouldn't be sad, he wouldn't get upset at all when you tell him about your abuse. At least, not outwardly. Internally he's about to stab someone, but to you, he's completely calm.

- He doesn't push you to explain more, but he does make it very clear that you can tell him everything. He won't judge you, he won't blame you, he won't invalidate anything, he just wants to exactly what happened so he can better help you.

- (He actually went to medical school, as well as getting a degree in psychology, so he knows what he's doing.)

- After that, he puts a lot of attention towards your triggers so he can help you deal with them as well as remove them as much as possible.

- He's coping with his own PTSD too, so any outbursts or instability is completely fine with him. He understands. He'd never take anything you say in the heat of the moment personally.

- Plus, he's like, never tired, so you can always call on him in an emergency. You're his top priority. Whatever you need to feel safe now, he doesn't mind helping with.

- He becomes a lot more protective as well. Whereas you two were a lot more independent from each other before, now he makes an effort to accompany you to anything that might make you upset. He just worries so much...

- If anyone or anything DOES upset you, he's releasing absolute hell onto that person. Normally he'd never make a scene, but with you? He is completely ok with making EVERYONE uncomfortable, just to make a point.

- Your problems and trauma don't bother him at all. If anything, he's glad to have a partner who can understand his struggles as well. You're both just moving past something as best as you can, and that's all that matters.

“It's been three years?” You thought to yourself as you sat still, staring out the window, ”It must've been less than that. No, it was just last month wasn't it?“

That's what you'd been telling yourself since you woke up. That day, it'd been three years since you had left. But it must've been some kind of trick. Some lie you'd been told. No, it couldn't've been.

So you sat, your dry eyes fixed on a swaying bush outside the window. If it had really been three years since then, then you must've been sitting for months. The house was quiet, and the weather was dreary. You hadn't eaten. Ludwig would be frustrated about that. But he wasn't here, so... it was alright.

Or at least, he shouldn't have been.

“Y/N?” Ludwig called out from somewhere else in the house. You didn't move. Even as his footsteps came closer and closer to where you sat, you didn't move.

“Liebling, are you ok?”

No response. He sighs, crouching down next to your chair.

“Is this because it's been three years?“

This time a response, as it seems like your body nodded involuntarily.

”Ah. I understand, my dear.“

He stood up again, setting down his bag from work.

”How long have you been sitting there?“

”I dunno...“ You croaked out, your voice clearly being out of use for quite a while.

”Do you want to keep sitting there?“

No response.

“Would you want to come walk Berlitz and the boys with me?“

A small nod. Ludwig walks over just to open the blinds a little more, just as the sun begins to shine into the room through a gap in the cloudy sky.

“Nice timing, isn't it?”

“Yeah...”

“Take your time getting ready. I'll be waiting downstairs whenever you want to go. I missed you today, Y/N.” And with that, he pressed a soft kiss to your forehead and walked downstairs.

England

- When you first told him, things didn't go... perfectly. Arthur is not a very comforting man in general, but when it comes to you, his love tends to manifest in, well... not the best ways.

- He became quite angry when you told him. Not because he was angry at you, but angry that someone could ever do that to you.

- But after he realized how that anger would have come across to you, he tried to explain away why he had reacted so harshly.

”Love, I- I didn't mean to... well, I'm not angry at you, ok? I promise. It's not like it was your damn fault! You're the victim! Of some- some twisted cunt-”

“Ok- but y-you're still yelling!”

“I'm not yelling at you- I'm yelling for you!”

- Don't worry, that's probably the last time he'll ever yell around you.

- After the initial panic and hatred, he remembers what's important. You. And protecting you, in every way he can.

- Whenever he's around you, he makes sure to regulate his emotions as much as he can. He'll get all of his anger out at Alfred, just so you never have to worry about him coming home pissed. He wants his home to feel safe for you.

- He tries to be as consistent as possible. If you ever need anything, he won't ask questions, he'll just do it. As much as he wants to be snarky, he'd stop making those kinds of comments to you entirely.

- But if you still know your abuser, he's taking out all of that anger onto them. In his opinion, any person who could traumatize you like that should suffer just like you have.

- Basically, he just becomes a lot more protective. In public, he'd hold your hand constantly, so you always know that you're not alone. In private, he'd lay off any questioning. Whatever you need to do to feel comfortable, he'd push his own curiosity aside.

- Although, he struggles with talking about what you went through directly. He's likely gone through something similar, and an honest conversation about either of your problems freaks him out a little bit.

- He can comfort you, bringing you back from the brink with no problem, but don't expect him to have any meaningful ideas on how to help you cope.

- (His only idea is what he does. Which is to try to ignore it. Which is bad.)

All Arthur had to say was “What's wrong with you?” for the spiral to start. He wasn't even serious, but the smirk plastered on his face seemed to turn sinister within a second. The smell of the room, the direction of the sun, the feeling of your socks, all of it was too familiar. All of it was exactly like that time long ago.

You started to breathe heavier, eyes darting for something to save you from the situation you had just been cast into once again. Something must be different, this can't be happening again.

“Y/N?” Arthur asks, his voice distant and muffled within your panicking mind, “Y/N, look at me.”

When he reached out gently to rest his hand over yours, you completely drew away within an instant. Shaking, cowering in fear against the couch, as far away as you could get from...

“Y/N, is it happening again?” He said, his words barely registering. You nodded, still looking at everything and nothing.

But you watched intently as he got up. He walked over to the thermostat, his footsteps nothing like you remembered from back then. It suddenly became colder than it used to be... and a blanket was draped over your quivering body.

“It's over. They're not here... ok? I promise it's over.”

“You promise? Y-You promise?”

“You're safe. There's nothing here that can hurt you. I promise.“

[sophieinwonderland]

It's weird being schizophrenic and plural (with some of that plurality being affected by both the schizophrenia and by trauma) and Also Traumatized all the same time because like.

CDD disorders, (c-)PTSD, and schizophrenia can have symptoms in common. Including dissociation, sometimes amnesia, hallucinations, etc, and often have similar comorbidities. Hell, schizophrenia can even cause trauma, which could lead to (c-)PTSD or traumagenic CDD disorders.

And, for a long ass time, before I knew I was schizophrenic, I thought I had OSDD-1 or mild DID with some added psychosis (yknow, for flavor). But then I started doing some research. And as it turned out, a lot of symptoms that I had that I thought were exclusive to CDDs... were just as easily caused by schizophrenia. Any other symptoms that were common in CDDs but weren't part of schizophrenia were quickly covered by c-PTSD. And I had a lot of symptoms of schizophrenia that could not be filled in by either.

Obv this is all just my experience, ymmv, yadda yadda. But it often leads me to a weird place when it comes to being part of plural communities. My experiences ride the line of being too close to CDDs to relate properly to nondisordered/non-CDD plurals, but because of where those experiences come from, I can't really relate to folks with CDDs either beyond superficial similarities. I'm kind of stuck in the middle.

Anyways. I dunno. It's just interesting for me to think about.

People in the community don't like talking about it, but there really is a serious problem in how these disorders are defined where a diagnosis of DID isn't allowed if symptoms can be explained by other disorders, and there's a huge overlap in symptoms to the point that all of symptoms of DID could be argued to be symptoms of Schizophrenia.

This is something Ross has criticized a lot and tried to rectify. But change is an uphill battle.

If you haven't read it yet (which you might have since I reference it a lot,) there's a paper exploring the differences in voice hearing between people with DID and people Schizophrenia. Maybe this can help you distinguish your experiences a bit.

Here's the DOI: 10.1097/NMD.0b013e3181c299ea

It's Sci-hub compatible if you want to access it easily. I thought maybe the data could be helpful to your journey.

The biggest differences I found there are that DID is far more likely to start in childhood, to include child voices, to include more than 2 voices, to talk among themselves without reference to the host, and (contrary to conventional wisdom) to include other sorts of hallucinatory experiences.

(It's unclear in the study if these hallucinations are as vivid as those typically associated with hallucinations in Schizophrenia.)

And it's definitely possible and valid to have both disorders, so I would be hesitant to rule out CDDs just because you also have symptoms that CDDs don't account for.

Anyway, thank you so much for sharing your experiences! This is a really important topic that I wish could get more of a spotlight in the plural community.

[crimsonmonsoon]

Heres some character info-sheets for my mlb rewrite. The main five obv, but I'll get to other characters maybe later if and when I feel like it... also this was an excuse to draw them n o t dying or something so uh- yar.

Some additional info about each:

Marinette- Marinette's mom tried to teach Marinette chinese but started out a little too late in Mari's child-language development and never really succeeded. At most, Marinette can introduce herself. She does not yet have any crushes in my fic at the moment, but the first one (sorta already is) will be Luka for a while once he gets more "screen time". She's less "UwU quirky i'm so clumsy" like she is in the show. In fact, she doesn't go and do stupid things without repercussions at all. She is less focused on boys and more on her superhero life, but it starts getting overwhelming. She feels like if she tried to focus on herself for a change, something bad would happen as a result, and it doesn't help that Tikki is so strict on her about it.

Adrien- Adrien is pomosexual which basically means he doesn't know what the heck he is or what to label his feelings with so he went with that. He knows he is attracted to femininity, but is also ok with more masculine or "tom-boyish" attributes in anyone of any gender. This does lead into his crush on Kagami later on since they are nonbinary and not exactly "the most feminine" person you could meet, yet also not entirely masculine in their personality and presentation. Basically, he doesn't know what the heck his sexuality is. He knows chinese and english because of how strict his homeschooling is, and has a natural talent for picking up new languages. He doesn't really understand himself and often feels like he's broken, or a robot. Perhaps some senti-monster behavior...??????!!!!! (I'm deciding on that now shut up)

Nino- Nino is a glorious bilingual child whose parents are unknown. They probably left the face of the planet. No one has ever seen them... at least in the show... so I didn't bother giving him a family. But he's bilingual somehow!! But wait... I did give him parents?! That's right, I invented Mara Lahiffe for no reason, and we're gonna say his dad is no longer in the picture. He's very protective of his friends and would never abandon them, hence why he became so fitting for the turtle miraculous. He has a secret crush on Rena Rouge but sadly, not Alya. He likes his mysterious women I guess.

Alya- Alya is creole which is a race of people from America that spawned from the mixing of native american, Spaniard, black, and europeans. It's a lot... I know... they're best known for existing in Louisiana, and does she have family there? No! She has relatives from Cuba which is why she can speak spanish. Alya has a big family with three other sisters, and she's caught being the middle child. This has given her a lot of insecurities due to her older sister being a literal muscle boxing beast and her two little twin sister getting all the attention from the family.

Chloe- I think it's really funny that I didn't give Marinette, the main character, family trauma, but the other four.... Chloe's parents are divorced and her mother has a very judgmental attitude over Chloe. Chloe wants nothing more than to please and impress her mother who sometimes doesn't even remember her daughters name. Chloe feels like she's battling her half sister, Zoe, for their mothers attention, which is made extra hard for her by the fact that her sister and mother live all the way in New York. Chloe was as straight as a pencil, she swears. but then... she started developing feelings for a girl and everything became a mess. She's kinda in the same boat as Adrien right now, except she's more comfortable calling herself bicurious. She developed anorexia after Gabriel Agreste's company refused to accept her as a model, denying her the chance to work with Adrien and pursue her dream career.

[cluescorner]

My bullshit summary of the Interdarshan Championship Part 1 (spoilers obv)

Nilou: Yay! I am one of the two hosts for the competition, which fits in with my character and I am naturally good at being personable! I wonder who I’ll be paired up with? Maybe Kaveh because he’s the featured 4-star or Dehya because everyone is in love with her AND that would symbolize the fact that the rainforest part of Sumeru is becoming more inclusive! There’s my partner, and it’s...oh. 

Al-Haitham: Listen this is literally my last duty before they’re finally letting me step down they said that if I agreed to do this they would let me go back to being the scribe please I am literally begging you to just let this happen I will pay you my share if you just let me chill out. 

Nilou: Oh...ok! I’ll provide the commentary and you’ll provide the akademiya-ish side of things....great...

Nilou, to the side: Can somebody please get another reporter holy shit.

---------------------------------

Dehya and Candace: We are lesbians and we are on a date. 

Everyone: Yay! Will you be relevant? 

Dehya and Candace: Not particularly but we will manage to become a highlight regardless. 

Everyone: Good enough for me!

-------------------------

Announcer lady: Introducing the representatives~

Tighnari - We are fairly certain he is actively committing academic crimes but the General Mahamatra refuses to do anything about it + everyone likes him

Kaveh - The featured 4-star babygirl who is trauma dumping and is going through a really rough patch in his life. Instead of sending him to therapy or providing him with other assistance, we sent him to the same competition which has killed people before including maybe his dad. There is no way this can backfire, especially when weird ghosts are showing up. 

Layla - The closest thing we have to a normal human being, and she isn’t even human

Faruzan - Girly at this point just hire a PR rep if you want students this badly, this is getting embarrassing 

Cyno - We put a TCG card into the mix because we know it’s his special interest and we needed to give him a reason to show up

LilBiotch - His name is Hat Guy now because none of you can behave

Anyways, what was that about weird ghosts? I don’t care and neither should you! This won’t lead anywhere bad, don’t worry. Go catch a speedy butterfly. We have totally leveled the playing field by creating a challenge that directly involves biological and technological creations, this gives nobody a distinct advantage we promise. 

------------------------------------

Tighnari: Wow it appears that I may have a distinct advantage. Anyways, look at this cool method for catching butterflies. I’ll give y’all a free lecture so that my new VA can show off his chops. 

Everyone: Wow we love you Tighnari and new Tighnari VA. We will sign up for your seminar that is technically not allowed to occur and you DEFINITELY should not be promoting it at an event sanctioned by the akademiya, but it’s ok. 

------------------------------------------

Layla: oh no! i am lost! oh no! i will go chase the butterfly! 

Dehya and Candace: We are on a date!

Layla: i have chased the butterfly onto dehya now let me catch it

Dehya with a butterfly on her hair: *Becomes even prettier*

Me: AH FUCK SORRY LAYLA YOU CAN’T TAKE IT FROM HER PLEASE 

Dehya: Oh, here you go! Anyways, people are acting suspicious. I say this as though we’ve ever seen a Sumeru where people weren’t CONSTANTLY acting suspicious. 

Layla: ok. i will probably be irrelevant to that plot line, but i appreciate the knowledge regardless. thank you dehya and candace for showing up. 

--------------------------------------------------

Dori: HEYA SOME SHADY SHIT IS GOING DOWN

Me: What no way oh darn /s 

Dori: For the low, low price of hearing about shit you don’t care about, I will give you the information!

Me: What’s the reward? 

Dori: Primogems probably. 

Me: *Sigh* You are so lucky your VA is as cool and good as they are. 

------------------------------------------------

Kaveh and Faruzan: What do you mean there can’t be two second-place winners?

Al-Haitham: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU THINK WAS GOING TO HAPPEN?! GOD WHY ARE YOU ALL SO (enters old bickering couple mode with Kaveh)

Nilou: Hahaha, this is fine :-) I was totally given a fair position :-) I will go get the lots :-) Both me and Al-Haitham can be relevant and I am not being neglected in favor of him during an event where I am the featured 5-star for part of it :-) I am super glad I did this :-)

-----------------------------------------------

Announcer Lady: Wow, it seems that two of the people who won were the person focused on biology and the person focused on technology (though he basically gave up his points even after Faruzan offered them because...wait why did he do that). It seems that our competition was actually less balanced than we thought. 

Me: Yeah no shit

Announcer Lady: So our next competition will be held in the desert!

Me, looking at poor Tighnari who is gonna be going through it + Cyno and Faruzan who have both spent a good amount of time in the desert: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!

---------------------------------------------------

Like 8 NPCs: OH NO THERE ARE THINGS HAPPENING ABOUT *insert dude’s name here*

Me: I literally do not care. I forget the guy’s name and I don’t even wanna look it up. I will take your rewards, though. Baizhu is right around the corner. 

[fatratbabyy]

hi! i really love your designs, the colours are always really well done anf the characters are full of life.. and i love how your rewrites give the characters complexity and make them really interesting to me, much more so than canon(though i am a fan of some ideas introduced there, they don’t quite turn out in ways that make sense to me)! i’ve been wondering a few things about helluva troupe for a while however and hopefully the answers aren’t spoilers, lol.. in HT, what is Fizz’s involvement with the ‘troupe’ and what is stolas’s involvement too.? i wish you much luck on your work as it is lovely to see! (also apologies for my silly username)

Thank You!

Thank you so much that means a lot!! waaAahee! It makes me happy to see people interested 🥺👉👈

With Fizz it's,,, a bit Fuzzy, because hilariously he's the whole reason I made this AU among other things But I ended up makinh him a sorta side character antag again because while originally he was going to be part of the main crew from the start of HT's storyline, as I went along in trying to write I saw some cool hcs about his star clown days and so I thought to use the more canonized view- mostly in that he's a star clown during the events of HT instead of dropping the show life to join Blitz in I.M.P. That previous version is why you see him in the I.M.P references- and hinty hoo that ol version isnt completely null and voice to the current HT

ANYWAY so yeah- While Fizz isn't as much a main character as he was he still has a great deal of importance to the story and themes I want to express in HT. When it comes to him and the Troupe itself, I could best describe him as one of the biggest foils or parallels to the main cast. Just,, he's this golden image that represents their every want fulfilled. For Blitz especially given their thick history heehooo. (That's not to say this 'golden image' is entirely as it seems btw...)

Now it sounds much like canon I know but I like to think I'm taking a different direction with it- It's not really just the "haha you suck with relationships, fuck, shit, pénis im doing better look at my good relationship" nonsense cuz for 1. Fizzarozzie does nOT exist anymore- its Mamzie now 😊 (Mammon + Ozzie) and 2. The themes with Fizz and really most of HT has less to do with the melodramatic romance "will they wont they" of Stolitz (which isnt really a thing either) and more the struggle impoverished and oppressed peoples experience with success, failure, identity, community, family, status, history, trauma, etccc. Specifically, because I am an indigenous person from Canada, a lot of the themes are drawn from my own experiences, knowledge and history as an indigenous person. Though with execution, creative liberties were taken to make the fact they're in Hell clear btww-

That very likely did nOT answer jour question but i amn,,,stoopi 😭😭😭 simpler answer i suppose maybe by chance would be Fizz is an eventual antagonist to I.M.P. Specifics and how it happens and wheNNN?? Im still not sure yet if im honest- been really busy the last year or so and so Ive hadnt had any time or energy to work as much on writing all the things! ;u; thats probs disappointing to hear cuz plaNNing and all is important if you're gonna post story stuff at all,,, but !! I do hope to work more on the story this year so i can wrap up all these floating ideas into a Concrete line of stuff cuz truly all im missing is the middle pieces. Maybe an HT comic will be real this/or next year! 👀🏃

ANYHOOT ONTO STOLAS! i rambled a bit too much about Fizz cuz im still figuring him out- Stolas might be a bit shorter cuz his role is sweet and simplisticerr.

So, Stolas is an antagonist. He and Blitz still have an exchange sort of deal, but the deal is Blitz gets to keep the grimoire for I.M.P if he handles Stolas' "errands" and gives it back on the full moon with ofc none of the uh,,hawny stuff, obv. Blitz kinda keeps this deal under wraps from the rest of I.M.P because for him, it hurts his pride to admit he's in need of some big guy's help. And Stolas is somewhat aware of this. And so, Stolas is this looming, cruel threat that Blitz carries the burden of cuz he's stubborn as fuck whilst the rest of I.M.P remain ignorant.

Some bonus notes that dont really have to do with Stolas involvement with imp but jus how stuff ive changed with his canon influence the story diff than canon; so, Stella isnt a thing anymore. In general the Goetia work much differently- majority of the Goetia being the children of Ozzie instead of Paimon (who is Stolas' sibling now btw too) and the Goetia being thousands of years old instead of fucking 30- Also! While Via is existant she is but a baby instead of a moody teen,, ties heavily with Stolas' motives and how he operates as a character, royal, and Goetian and felt it would work better with how HT Stolas is as a character than it would otherwise.

Also no worries about the username! I dont like canon stolas much either lol,,;

I apologize if this didnt answer much 😭 feel free to let me know if you wanna hear about somn else gwahgh 🏃

[goldenpinof]

Not that this is like, a hot new take or anything, but I can imagine that they both might be going through a bit of a crisis. Like their careers have finally died down but like, what do they do. They haven't done much else but be YouTube personalities (which is more than just YouTube, obv) for like, nearly 15 years. They are probably afraid to venture into new territory, because at this point that will likely mean risking either their brand or their bank accounts (like how Dan had to risk money to do the tour / offer to put up his own money for Dinok). Not that that's a good excuse, but I can understand being afraid and Phil just trying to hang on to his usual content for the both of them (as he also figures out work/life balance). Dan only did DD for the tour and it definitely felt kinda forced. Just doing their old stuff but with their older/out-of-closet selves isn't going to be successful in a way it's safe, for now.

As someone with a lot of the same kind of mental health struggles Dan has, I imagine he might be beyond burnt out and doesn't really want the attention anymore because of the work it requires. And even though it's like, okay it's been months since the tour okay what's next... idk what we'll really get out of him for a while (maybe a few years even?) besides random contract work like the channel 4 thing. Like, projection time, but I just got through grad school with extreme ADHD/executive dysfunction/procrastination etc, and was so burnt out by the end idk how I did it. And I'm like, oh well it's been about 6 months I should probably have a job in my field by now (which I'm probably insane for thinking that anyways because the job market is in so wild). But like, I've been kinda burnt out since 2016 (when I was 16 and a junior in high school, at the end of my og dnp phase) and all I can muster the mental energy to do now is the same part-time / retail work I've been doing the past few years. Which like, I'm barely getting by and I do ultimately feel disappointed that I'm not trying harder to put my fancy new degree to work because I'm barely applying for anything. But I just can't get myself together enough to do that right now. I imagine Dan might be going through something similar, like, he could be doing something creative but he probably is just tired and wants to just live life without any expectations and go on vacations and rely on Phil to be the content creator. He's probably aware that it's not ideal. But he also seems done with compromising any creative vision either because he doesn't want to do sponsorships or anything that isn't a deeply personal piece of art. And he probably doesn't have many deep ideas now that WAD is done and Dinok is stalled and there isn't much he seems to want to do commentary on (because if he just sucked it up he would actually be a pretty good commentary YouTuber lol).

I think they also have a lot more stuff to work through mental health wise too before they are ever really able to not be cryptic about their relationship, since when ex-phannies or random people who remember them see their tiktoks or whatever it's what they all ask about. Like to some degree I don't know if they ever wanted to be out and famous but it got to the point where they couldn't keep denying it either. I'm so glad they came out because it's clearly so much healthier, but beyond the trauma of being closeted that they had to overcome they probably now have trauma from years and years of people being weird towards them about their relationship and it's like... now they have get through that in order to take the next step. do they really want to go through all that just to help open themselves up to a new era of content? Idk.

(this turned out to be wayyy longer than I anticipated woops. can't even remember if some of this was in response to what was on your blog or some of the other similar conversations I've seen about this today but yeah).

i'm almost crying. i hate us so much. this is exactly why the phandom needs meet ups irl or "bubbles" where we could have conversations. because trying to answer THAT without forgetting something is hard, and also i can't imagine how hard it is to write these mini-essays and get bullshit in response.

i appreciate it a lot. and i basically agree with your message. i see how it can be true. and i know that in case of burnout, Dan can let himself step back. the problem i have with him disappearing and coming back after 2018 is that he thinks that the audience will wait for him and accept everything he puts out with the same passion, participation, and amount of money as when he and Phil were making content without long pauses. but book sales, merch sales, tour ticket sales, views and god knows what else that we can't see show that we aren't willing to wait. and it started in 2019 i guess, so you would think that by 2022 Dan would understand what went wrong and just book smaller venues (or make a smaller stage for it to not be a problem). i'm using wad just as an example. you said Dan could not want attention anymore. but he repeatedly says that he loves attention. and it's not only words, you can see it irl. ofc after tours there is a period of time to rest. but before that, there was a clusterfuck of something that was barely content while the merch releases were consistent. either because it was pre-made or because Dan was still living in a rose-colored world thinking that we would buy stuff without content. i'm not sure what i'm arguing here anymore riuehdfsidxkl apologies, i guess it's related to Dan wanting to fuck off. and he CAN. i don't care, 2019 taught me a lesson. (doesn't mean i can't bitch about it <3)

anyway. i understand your struggles with work and degree. basically, i was in the same position after graduating, and now it's even more difficult but i get it. choosing to work part-time, in retail and similar "easy" jobs because you can't deal with the weight of expectations that come with a degree, that's... yeah. an adult reality that no one told us about. i wish you the best, and i hope everything works out well. whatever you decide to do, remember you don't have to use your degree if you don't want to or just don't feel like you can at this moment. you know, getting a fancy "serious" job is such a commitment, bruhh. and you can always walk out of retail :)

Dan would be a brilliant commentary youtuber, you're right! he just knows how to talk and make people listen.

their brand is already fucked, nothing to save here. i mean, Dan and Phil brand doesn't exist. Dan's youtube brand is all over the place. AmazingPhil is the only consistent thing. and yes, it feels like Phil is terrified of shifting in any direction. we're stuck with 2016 content, it's like a real-life time machine on youtube. and if it works for him, fine. i'm just sad that there is no "trying new things" anymore and that he can't even get old successful things back.

i'm not commenting on their relationship because it would be too long. fuck tiktok though. i think dnp jumped to this "new popular" platform with no actual regular content to present as a distraction and that bit them in the ass.

[mischas]

Ok so I think about them an unhealthy amount so here's the ask I asked about a while ago.

Their sexual dynamics are kinda fascinating and in another show that would've been explored more. (I have so many questions- some of them are on a literary level and the others not so much lol)

Marissa said that they never had a problem with attraction and being emotionally unavailable made them want each other more. Their difference in experience and how it might have affected their dynamic- ex: Ryan sleeping with Theresa soon after splitting with Marissa (who had a regretful sexual experience with her ex and was waiting with Ryan) because of old habits, but she said like one line about it and that's it. (Now that I think about it, it's weird that Ryan said before their date that he's never, like, fully dated girls before aside from hooking up even though Theresa existed, I guess he wasn’t counting that because it was on and off?). We saw how Marissa's trauma of being assaulted affected their sex life but only for like one time when it's an interesting discussion too, and so could've been the Gabrielle predatory thing (when he said that he was with another girl and Marissa pointed out that she was a woman- knowing this show she probably meant it in a "omg she's so experienced im so jealous" kinda way but it's clear that her being older wasn't ok for her, at least not as ok as it was for him.

There's also all the sexual jealousy (as it's apparent from my asks, MV jealousy era was my favourite for being funny af, but there's also Ryan/Gabrielle and Luke/Marissa which were just painful) but also despite the intensity, there's a bit of assurance and comfort there ("what strippers? I don't know any strippers"/"you got a lap dance?"). They were being walked in on all the time and Marissa did say she wasn’t into PDA much (but I'm not sure if it was about Trey?) they were also "one of those couples" which means they didn’t keep their hands off each other, either. Ooh there is so much material lol- I shudder to think but HBO Ryissa would've been like 👀

You know this is something I was thinking about a few weeks ago. I'm probably not gonna answer this well but it's gonna be long. So first off, it is very insane for Marissa to say that she and Ryan were going at it during all of s3 when the narrative is relatively sexless for every couple until it's turned up wildly in 3x18 for a ratings and demographic shift (other people can speak about this better than I). I've talked about that 3x18 line before and it's so weird to shoehorn it in like they do; we're supposed to believe RM have been fucking this whole time? What? 3x14 showed us in their intimate scene that they haven't been doing this a lot since it serves as a means of reuniting them. But, hey, maybe they have and it's just weird shit between M/B that kept it from our consciousness. But like I said earlier, this season was so sexless until much later when it's turned up to 100 (and those irl dynamics were also very bad so like.... mess).

We're also supposed to believe RM didn't sleep together after 2x20 when "I think we can do better than the front seat of Sandy's car" is insanely suggestive. Not to say they did it right after getting back together but like....... idk. Them only having sex for the first time in 3x03 is narratively so far-fetched. Obv there weren't a lot of times they could in s2 since they're kept apart for plot reasons and then as soon as they reunite the Trey stuff happens.

BUT

Their comfortability in mid-s1 when they're dating is so easy. It's very hard to believe these teens weren't sleeping together. Ryan is largely unsupervised and pretty much has his own apartment! And they're both not virgins as we know. It's only when Marissa says in 1x19 that they haven't that we all have to be like oh??? And it's a teen soap so these things are usually documented for the audience, but still it's like please. Especially after 1x14.

All that said, lol, the way I see RM approaching intimacy is that from a young age neither of the two really associate sex with love. We know Ryan's experienced by 16 (though I personally think he exaggerates how many girls he's been with). There's at least Theresa who clearly did not exist in the narrative until 1x11. There's no way she and her mom wouldn't be in Ryan's mind when he's been abandoned in 1x01 and calling all his friends for a place to stay. So!!

For whatever (plot) reason, RM don't sleep together until 3x03. But Marissa rushes into sex with Luke in 1x06 for all the reasons I mentioned here. And she's incredibly hurt in 1x26/1x27 to learn that Ryan rushed into sex with Theresa right after their breakup. She spends the summer between s1 and s2 thinking about that and probably assuming they have sex then too (she looks surprised to hear in 2x02 that it "wasn't like that at all"). And then she starts having casual sex with DJ that summer. The DJ storyline is so so bad from its inception but we're at least led to believe she's sexually active. They tried to make DJ a viable romantic option but it was so bad from the start that at least it finally ends.

Marissa doesn't even get to associate sex with real, heartfelt romantic feelings until Alex and that's then pulled out like a rug from under her before they pivot her back to Ryan when Lindsay leaves. So she still doesn't associate sex with love. THEN she's assaulted and goes through all that fun trauma. R/L have a few scenes that imply they may be sleeping together but I think if they did we'd have seen it or at least heard about it.

Which brings us to 3x03 and RM both being in a place where sex and love can be working together. I think Ryan has love for Theresa but let's be honest that boy will never be ~in~ love with her and that's a major missing part of their relationship. 3x03 gives us the heightened Hawaii plot and that positions RM to realize this is the time because she's leaving and you know It's About The YearningTM. I don't think the scene itself is great because of the choreography and the stupid editing but what leads up to it "Are you sure? It'll make it that much harder for you to leave" is just SOOOOOOO

If we understand that RM have been having a bunch of loveless, emotionally unavailable sex in s3 I don't think it's much of a stretch to imagine them jumping into bed with the people they then jump into bed with in late s3. And in many ways it's like as soon as they were able to marry sex and love in 3x03, they reverted back to these people who saw it as something else. That speaks to how s3 was so fucking bad.

A few things:

Yeah I think the PDA line in 2x22 carried over to 2x23 is only really about Trey and her bruise that she's concerned with; their PDA in front of their friends in 1x15 meant nothing to them. I can't imagine they cared more about schoolmates seeing them than they did their friends (and Marissa's ex)

I think M is so hurt about Gabrielle in 1x06 and 1x07 for all those reasons. That she's older "Actually, I think she was a woman" and that Ryan could hook up with someone random the same day he's all but asked her to make a romantic choice "the last time I saw you, you kind of had your hands full"

The way that Marissa has quiet confidence in Ryan with other women is very sweet in 1x26 "what about strippers?", 2x21 "South Beach for a little spring break action?" and 3x09 "you got a lap dance?" it's actually very interesting to contrast that with Seth who kisses women in BOTH Vegas and Miami when he's still in a quasi-relationship with Summer at the time

I know for a fact I didn't answer this very eloquently (if I answered it at all) but it's a really interesting subject!

Also, considering I head canon RM being FWB in college I think it'd take a while for them to acknowledge how in love they've always been with one another. Because of their shared traumas, lingering resentments, trust issues, etc. *cue 'tis the damn season*

[i-love-to-draw1]

I found tonight's really fun and interesting

Even if I feel like shaking some of the characters for not talking with eachother. Because they misinterpreted their ideas or them bout all this.

I got a more clear idea of everyone. Like I watch everyone n I mean it. But I only speak n understand English n Spanish. So I get like 20% the conversation in Portuguese if I put my full focus [can't always do tht bc I'm usually busy so I rely on updates on twitter, so I'm like partly listening n trust the people here on tublr]. N like no French so I rely on body language n the translater [also the update n here on tumblr]

I wish they all could talk and pick one person but I also understand due to the characters trauma or worry. Bc this is very a rp VS meta. N the cc gotta choose how their characters should walk on tht line. It also doesn't help tht the cc won't speak their native language to help with explaining their intentions better. I was really hoping for tht this time [hopefully the 3rd debate thyd do so].

That aside. I found really cool!! I like where insaimduo is going, but not all cc join in mostly bc thy arent into rp n bc Twitter fans n chat can get to intense. Their ideas are super cool!! N i feel like itll help those who DO want to come back. but I know tht despite tht the federation are also very powerful group. Bc I feel like they forgot tht they CAN deny request and rule n other stuff bc it must all go through them.

Same with bag, bad n gegg. Bc they all want to destroy it n do diff forms of anarchy. N I tots understand why their characters don't want to fully use the word bc many don't understand that anarchy isn't the typical chaos shit lmao. N i hope they joined together tho bc they are pretty similar on the goal on destroying a single power. But what I hope more from baghera is maybe talk about the council especially the main leader for each language, especially bc the Spanish community which is so small qwq [PLZ MARIANA AND MISSA COME BACK/lh]. But I also understand why insane duo worry bc thy have stuff plan n theirs is a bit uncertain but theirs is tht of relying on the community but also in hopes to be granted on being able to do the council/destroy the pres position n while insane duo also talks for the people. I understand theirs a chance tht feds might take control like they did to celbit on those days.

I love Mike's idea in establish a more aid than just people giving what they can [obviously etoiles is gathering materials for the next group, bad doing community teleports n Brazilians doing the roads, n forevers many projects] bc it can help. Like it did with the French but afterwards they all had to work hard to get most of their materials by themself. N it makes sense bc I feel like thy might make the server even more difficult as times goes by! But I also know tht certain events can be done with or without the feds aid. Like the admins (meta talk) want the players to have fun. But like rp the Feds want the resident to BE HAPPY!!! for some reason. So if this does make them happy they'll do it. Which I get the others view bc u don't need to run as pres to do this fun events.

I just want all of them to talk, to work things out like. Pick someone n I hate to say this, tht can trust and are willing to sacrifice themselfs, to 1st establish a council incase something happens to who gets elected. Start planning things n project n ect. Continue the communication, help with organizing projects ect. Bc it's very obv tht everyone cares for eachother n want to help but it's difficult if everyone trying to see their view bc of their struggles n worries. Bc the feds are powerful, they can n are willing to do anything for wutever fuk up experiment thy wnat to do. They can take control of forever, bad baghera, ect. N do wutever to them to take control.

It's anxiety inducing bc the feds can do something to everyone. N I want ALL of then to talk it out n do back up plans incase something happens. N I want them to work against the feds n Elquackity bc omg he is so sus n thy all want to make sure someone like him won't become the president, which is why thy are running in the 1st place, bc thy DON'T want someone they barely know or the feds in charge. They lost when the feds decided to do this. So now thy must fight for control. So the feds don't get more power than they already have.

Also reminder that the characters maybe fighting in the campaign but it's obvious they still care. Tht the feds failed in trying to do discourse bc the love this characters have for eachother is strong. Sure it'sbumby rn but thts how it is sometimes. Nothing is smooth. They all communicate eventually. It'll just take some time.

They all have their worries n trauma n ideas. They'll talk hopefully soon. Bc rn it's like 3 diff groups [4th bc of foolish lmao KELP]

N for now I'm divided bc now I'm uncertain. I might wait till the voting day to see who's left running so I can make a vote.

But man I super excited n nervous. :0c

I still belive in the communication in qsmp n tht might be my naive self but idc. I'm still giving hope!!!

[toastess-with-the-mostess]

Let's Rewind! Toast watches Voltron: Defender of The Universe (1984)

Season 1, Episode 33: Attack of the Fierce Frogs Season 1, Episode 34: Lotor Traps Pidge

Episode 33: Attack of the Fierce Frogs

Ah yes, more Pidge trauma this episode, this show just keeps on giving

Zarkon's saying the same shit as last episode "find a weakness in voltron's armor!" like dude, you tried that and Lotor STILL got his ass kicked, now I just think you like the free show your dope of a child gives you

How does the Drule fleet keep getting into Arus space, like did we not have a whole system that alerted them of incoming enemies? This is why everything goes to shit so fast and so easily

Some children have found the pre robeast tadpoles! Obvs not knowing anything, Pidge is all to happy to educate the kids all about them god he's such a cutie, he means so much well but the universe just keeps kicking him :c

kid: idk,, it's a long walk to carry all these tadpoles,,, at that point just ask pidge to ride in green LMAO, i think he's enough of a sweetie to do that

A DOG?? I DON'T THINK WE'VE SEEN THOSE ON ARUS BEFORE

Ah yes Pidge, gifting Allura tadpoles in the hopes of one of them becoming a prince, best idea

And there's the robeast transformation, y'know if they employed this tactic more but spread it all over I feel like they'd have a better chance at destroying voltron but oh well they're forever incompetent

WELL REST IN PIECE TO THAT COAST GUARD SHIP, THEY'RE GETTING ATTACKED BY THE FROGS

The ship name is Altea, iirc in golion that was the original name for Arus, but I guess they repurposed it this time

man,,, pidge only wanted to be nice to the kids and the princess, of course something goes wrong for him again with the frogs being inside the castle AND at the kids house

PIDGE STAYS STRAPPED

the frogs sound like Pokémon

I'm sorry why are there just barrels of gasoline outside the house, that fucking dangerous

1 group of robeasts down, one giant robeast left to go

I know this is like,,, a serious situation but man does this scene feel extra dramatic you're telling me this boat is super modern/futuristic yet still has a wood steering wheel that breaks into pieces the second this guy puts any weight onto it? Okay I guess

HEY GUYS WHY ARE YOU BLOWING UP ROCKS IN FRONT OF THE SHIP THAT'S HEADING STRAIGHT FOR THEM INSTEAD OF YKNOW PUSHING THE SHIP SO IT DOESN'T CRASH INTO THE ROCKS IN THE FIRST PLACE

Oh i thought the frogs were going to amalgamate into a big robeast but ig not, they were all destroyed and Lotor sent out a whole different robeast to take on Voltron instead

NOT THE PIDGE, THE POOR BOY JUST GOT DRAGGED UNDERWATER

Okay we're good he got out of the headlock and it's voltron time! I don't think we've seen Voltron form up underwater yet, but I know he's BEEN underwater after forming so maybe it's not so bad

Oh? green lion is flooding, this is like the second or so time we've seen Voltron actually take damage? Inch resting, the stakes are getting higher

LMAO fucked up voice line, it's the red lion who helps green get off of the robeasts hold (again) but Hunk is the one who's apparently helping him, LET LANCE AND PIDGE BOND YOU FUCKS

Annnd now the cockpit of green lion is flooding, Pidge is going to have a fear of water/drowning for WEEKS

my yelling has been answered, Lance is praising Pidge for stopping the flooding and being brave while doing it, they're so brother coded your honor

Blazing sword formed, robeasts defeated, and somehow Lotor is still on Arus though he's doing his usual complaining about voltron not being defeated Looks like a reuse of a scene, cant remember which episode now, but I know I've seen it before

/episode end

Episode 34: Lotor Traps Pidge

Double Pidge episode this time, of course it's trauma filled poor boy

Sorry say that again, Planet Arus doesn't have hurricanes? What do you MEAN their storms never get to that level Coran

"We must save the buildings!" "No it's the people we must save!" Okay I know Allura's right here but wouldn't protecting the buildings also be protecting the people in it? Like be fr right now, shelter is what they need

Keith knows what up, good idea on watching out for looters in a time of crisis

Hello children fighting?? Pidge I know this is a serious time but maybe figure out why this kid is so adamant about stay behind instead of immediately throwing hands- NEVER MIND HE GOT BITCH SLAPPED WITH A DEAD RABBIT GET HIS ASS PIDGE

IM SORRY DID PIDGE JUST STEP IN A FUCKING TRAP?? THAT'S HORRIFYING also he did mention they were illegal, and I love that he believes in the government but buddy no government is your friend, literally remember what happened to Balto, two governments failed you AT THE SAME TIME

The kid's name is Tommy (real original dotu) and he helped pidge out of the trap and back to his house, great timing for pidge to remember he mentioned something about staying back to take care of someone which he realizes is his sick mother Maybe listening first before throwing hands is a better option Pidge lmao

Zarkon: Don't harm the planet or people more than nexessary, I want them all! Lotor: I'm planting a bomb under the crust of Arus to blow up the castle and the planet Zarkon: EXCELENT! Make it make sense you guys

Pidge how do you know what a groundhog is, actually why am I asking I feel like he'd learn about every earth holiday, and it's history for funsies

Did they reuse the dream sequence Lotor had a while ago in this too? The scene seems so familiar especially because it has Allura in a wedding dress

Why do the villains keep calling the team and the people of Arus humans? Like I'm assuming here they're all aliens (minus Keith Lance Hunk and Sven) so why humans? Maybe it's an old colony planet that eventually grew into its own society and subrace

Pidge and Tommy are officially friends, how cute also Pidge's foot is still giving him trouble, which I'D ASSUME SO SO WHY IS HE RUNNING ON IT

PIDGE JUST GOT PUNCHED AGAIN BY ONE OF LOTORS COMMANDERS EXCUSE ME?? this is a very violent episode for dotu omg

Hunk pls,, i'm on the other guys' side now please dont rant to a sick mother about letting her son go caving could kill him, she has enough to worry about and she doesn't even know the half of it!

VERY VIOLENT THIS EPISODE HUH DOTU, Pidge and tommy and strapped to the giant bomb now, totally not horrifying to two little boys

Lance comes in to save them! I'm not sure how blowing up the control table for the bomb stops it instead of blowing the thing up but yeah i can work with that logic, except now the castle is being attacked and ofc Allura was left behind in there

All is mostly well now, all five lions are out again, and hey Lotor's actually prepared this time and his robeast was the drill he's been using this entire episode, thats pretty smart

Voltron formed, robeast defeats, and apparenty the bomb timer wasn't actually stopped? but jk it was and the team threw the bomb into space where they exploded it themselves get your facts right dotu, this is a lot even for you

/episode end

[waters-and-the-wilde]

aright we are once again shaking out the braincells like the laundry and the key theme is 'no matter how i felt about him later' these range from fairly benign to ouch with varying levels of plausibility but tldr he can't manipulate manwhore manslaughter his way out of this one it's going to be the power of trust or nothing

- slightly chain yank interpretation: juno gets a minute to process 'oh shit he was there and he didn't come back with us' and just sorta hits a wall bc the sasha-related trauma just got compounded tenfold and the whole fam is having a hard time in their own ways and juno is missing the nureyev-shaped piece of his support system and he backslides into being extremely pissy about it

- realistic interpretation: I mean obv this whole line is on purpose. it's vague enough to make the audience want to brace for something bad but I don't think it's a chain yank so much as a reminder that whatever’s in the journal/in his past is something Juno’s going to have to struggle to reconcile. that’s pretty much been set up since day one, that's the thing they've both been scared of most is the idea that Juno's going to find out something he can't deal with. this whole time it's been 'plot twist it's not as bad as it looks,' 'expect a slaughterhouse, end up with a skincare routine', etc. but maybe this time it is. actually pretty bad.

and/or. it's not bad bad but it's something in the vein of 'it's a relief but also a disappointment'. also now with the context around Diamond there's a certain amount of like. that situation was completely irreconcilable with who Juno is as a person and he was right to walk away. but there's also the bit where he says he likes any story where he ends up the hero. so maybe this time around he's able to look at some similar kind of disappointment but with the eyes of 'okay he's not who I thought he was but this happened bc he's a person who fucked up, not out of weakness or hypocrisy'

- I mean the other part of the long run arc has also been Juno trying to unfuck his moral rigidity so I think ultimately the crux and the interesting part of this puzzle is how the context of Nureyev's past ends up being compatible with Juno's shift in perspective

- okay couple of plot angles: previously speculated whether nureyev's creditors/vague yet menacing tech company are same people who helped ramses disappear. maybe even nureyev's payments funded the theia souls. under duress sure but still that's pretty legitimate grounds for being absolutely pissed in the 'not breaking up with you but the anger's worse because i want to blame you for it but i can't and i don't want to blame you for it but i sort of do' kind of way that doesn't really go anywhere nicely.

- previously speculated that nureyev's powerful friends were in cahoots with dark matters but it probably makes more sense that they're rivals in the same niche, esp given dark matters' trying to corner the market on tech advancements, and why they'd let nureyev off-leash a bit here and there if it's convenient for having a go at dark matters

- also if this last stunt with clean break does a number on sasha's image as director, they might smell blood in the water and try to emerge as the season's Bigger Bad

- somewhat unlikely but while we're covering our bases: how bout nureyev tries to kill sasha. and juno's like 'hey what the fuck did you actually think that was going to help???' death as punishment is definitely not the speed for the narrative but an attempt that backfires could be an interesting/potentially fucked-up angle, esp if nureyev has like. backslid himself, has given up hope on juno taking him back for other i.e. journal-related reasons but is still determined to stop sasha from hunting his family down

- you know how jet was like 'if dark matters wants a monster they're getting one' bc i have Been Thinking about Nureyev going 'i'm not the monster dark matters tried to make but i'm certainly the one they're getting' but i also think that would be extremely cool and sexy of him so that's not real speculation im just gay.

- got a little sidetracked here anyway uhhhh could still be something to the whole 'nureyev's comms was the vehicle for the distress signal that called Dark Matters in WLB so he didn't do it but it was his fault' but i'm not sure how much stock i'm putting into that one, also there might also be a new angle to that with the whole 'Rita's Relaxing Beeps Channel' thing

- Theia'd!Nureyev has some interesting potential but tbh i'm hoping it goes elsewhere bc S2 was like. so well done and I loved that they did that for Juno and Rita, so i think it's better suited for fan exploration rather than having canon re-hash it. i don't think he'd undergo whatever tf they're doing except under duress, but maybe they do anyway just to neutralize the threat he poses and there's got to be some long term deprogramming

- HEY SO what if there's potential for a parallel to Angel of Brahma if something happens where Nureyev's like. forced to choose between a massive toll of other lives and keeping his family alive. i jus.t SHGAGHDAFDSJAFJ. okay because there's also that whole thing with Sasha playing the numbers game and justifying shooting the CMP and Juno. so this time around Nureyev makes the opposite call and is willing to put those other lives on the line and Juno's initially kinda horrified bc it reminds him of diamond/is 180 out from the brahma decision and it puts a dent in that trust that Nureyev's ultimately going to choose to do the right thing

i think the important thing both with Brahma and whatever happened in his past and whatever's happening with this is that ultimately Nureyev's at his best when he's following his heart and probably the skeletons in his closet are from the times when he didn't, but the person he's trying to be is still more than that and that's why this is going to work out in the end. idk this is why i keep yelling about the whole con bono thing bc i love the idea of a nureyev with nothing left to lose and nothing left to hide going 'i know exactly where i keep my heart and now i intend to make it our enemies' problem.' i don't know how it would fit bc it's more of a vibe than anything bc of how the show is very much like. our flaws are our strengths and our strengths are our flaws and being good is a trap and doing the right thing is going to look different every time and sometimes selfishness is the answer when people are trying to yank you around and don't let the person you were this morning dictate the person you are today. and again I think the interesting part of this story isn't 'what did he do' but 'how do they make this work'

okay that's enough thoughts but the last one is that i'm hoping they go for a man in glass parallel where like. they've both spent this season backsliding into their trauma defense mechanisms but their success hinges on being the versions of themselves that they allow each other to be when they're together and bringing those people back out when they find each other again

thank you for coming to watch me sit on the kitchen counter and eat nutella out of the jar at 3am if you've read all this way through i love you

[traumatizeddfox]

how do i leave my abuser?

obviously for everyone its going to be different but here are some tips that worked for me! it might not work for everyone, and everyones situation is completely different, and were all different people.

I also want to point out, if you dont leave your abuser or you go back, you did not fail and that it is okay, its so hard to leave them.

so heres some tips i have from my exp

1) write down everything they do to you ( it doesnt matter if you think its stupid, if it hurts you, write it down, u can add dates if you want) i find writing down helped me when i would assume he was going to be good again, but that would be my rock to remember he was awful.

2) I feel like this ads onto step 1 but try to understand about trauma bonding, and how it affects your brain. Its basically like stockholm syndrome

3) try to learn their schedule, know when they will be gone ( i know this isnt always possible) but this can help you. if you can make a break for it then, do it.

4) i suggest if you can, reach out to a friend, support group system, family, etc and tell them whats happening. using code works can help too, so if you are in danger you can text or call someone and use the word but this doesnt always help or work.

5) another thing is to get all your important papers if you have them: bank cards, ID cards, SIN cards, birth certificate. Anything that has value that cant really be replaced, try to get them all together and have them in safe place.

6) try to leave as quickly, as you can. it really depends on you, and what you think you can handle. if you're able to just leave your house/apartment/etc, do it. But sometimes you need to contact people for an escape plan.

7)stay somewhere where they wont know you are. You dont want them to come find you, and its better to find a place where they cant find you, or wont know where you are but obvs i know this isnt always the case and not everyone has a place to go to. There should be local domestic violence or shelters that you can stay at (although this may be different depending on location)

8) block them, and dont respond. you have to cut contact with them, its like a drug and it will hurt like a fucking bitch, but i promise you, it will be so fucking worth it. there will be a day, where you will realize what truly happened, and its goings to hurt, but it will be so much better than them hurting you.

if they hit you, they will try to kill you one day. <-- i remember a detective saying this, and it stuck with me.

a few more things to add

-everyones story is different, everyones abuse is different, and this is just as general as I can get because I don't know your story.

-if you can, get police involved but just know this can add to a whole lot more stuff, and can be scary.

-dont listen to their sob story. it doesnt matter, your safety matters

-getting a secondary phone or a new phone is a great way to stay safe, and i also suggest changing your social media to all private, and maybe going by an alias.

-change passwords. I remember my ex hacked into my facebook to find where i was.

-try to not disclose any info where you are, if youre afraid for your life/

-making a google drive account and uploading proof is also a good thing to do! or keeping on an usb

-also if you drive, check for gps tracker on your car, i know some abusers do this.

also have grace for urself. you arent a bad person, you arent what they said you are, it wasnt your fault.

if no one believes you, you must believe yourself.

omg okay that was a long ass answer, and i know it was generic! but i hope this helps you, or anyone else!

[sunshineprincejeremyknox]

8, 10, 11, and 15 for the pride asks meme pls 😘

8. describe your gender without using any words traditional related to gender:

the rocketman soundtrack; hobbitcore; foxes; decorative daggers; sunsets; blanket nest; galaxies;

10. something that gives me gender euphoria:

t-shirts with the sleeves cut off

11. favorite piece of LGBT media?

I am 3/3 on just wanting to say Rocketman omg; but also...

books: Winter's Orbit (Everina Maxwell); The Tarot Squence (KD Edwards); White Trash Warlock (David R Slayton); One Last Stop & Red, White, and Royal Blue (Casey McQuiston); Hell Followed With Us (AJ White); everything by Michael G Williams

TV Shows: In the Flesh (BBC); Our Flag Means Death (HBO)

Then Movies: Rocketman (obv), Hearts Beat Loud

15. How has my identity changed over time?

I love looking back on smol me and being like "oh that's a nonbinary kiddo right there" but genuinely would NOT have conceived that for myself back then. Hindsight y'know? Where I grew up, I barely knew homosexual relationships were A Thing; trans people were A Joke (and not a nice one); anything else was like.... not even on the radar. Everyone in my close circle knew I was bi before I admitted it to myself--and I spent about three years going "am I bi?" (to a resounding chorus of YES) before going "oh okay yeah I can't actually keep pretending, I'm definitely bi"

then at 18 was "am I ace because Trauma or am I just ace?" to which my ultimate answer was "who cares why, I'm definitely 1) gray ace, and 2) demisexual as fuck"

the next big one was the polyam one, actually, because it somehow shook everyone more than me being bisexual / pansexual and coudln't be ignored the way me being ace was. (I did settle on pan becuase it's more accurate for the way I experience attraction, but I use them somewhat interchangably)

then you get "I can't be nonbinary bc my best friend is nonbinary and everyone will think I'm copying them" to "okay but I am definitely Not a Girl but I'm Not a Boy except sometimes I am a girl or a boy help" to "maybe I can just keep this buried deep inside myself and never have to acknowledge it" to "i stayed up all night reading destiel trans-designation omegaverse fic and i can't hide who I am anymore"

and now I'm just out here vibing my best queer life as some kind of fluid-af queer mess who wants to shove my neopronouns agenda down everyone's throats and wears a rainbow daddy crop jersey to pride!!