#ocean’s eleven fan edit

[bluewritinghood]

DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own Oceans Eleven nor do I claim to. I do not own any characters in this fan fic or from Oceans Eleven. This transformative work has been created purely for entertainment purposes. No profit is made or sought. No copyright infringement is intended. All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the respective owners. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

[adiluv-moved]

❥ 𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐊 𝐀𝐓 𝐌𝐄, 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐇𝐈𝐌. ˚⊹꒷

🎧୧・꒰summary—wc꒱ you're supposed to be his fan. not la signora's, not childe's, and definitely not il dottore's. 824 words.

💿୧・꒰warnings꒱ yandere character ꒰possessive behavior, petty scara꒱, idol/modern au, slightly suggestive at the end, reader is not traveler, lightly edited.

🎤୧・꒰adi moment꒱ inspired by these hcs! i don't think i'll be beating these scara lover allegations anytime soon, sadly... but anyway! scaramouche is honestly such a petty bastard imo, so i figured i'd mess around a bit with the idea! as always, hope you enjoy! ໒꒰ྀི ⁎ᵕ ᴗ ᵕ⁎꒱ྀི১

as a disclaimer, i don’t support yandere behavior in real life! please don’t interpret this post as justification for any of scaramouche’s actions.

Perhaps it was selfish of Scaramouche to be so terribly possessive over you, though months of correspondence with you had simply robbed him of the ability to care. A rare find, in his eyes, a bright light in an ocean of monotones. Being in an idol group with a whopping eleven other members certainly guaranteed that the attention of fans was finely split, and so he didn’t exactly see it wrong to be a bit more protective over the one that had eyes for him alone. 

Or, at the very least, the one that should’ve had eyes for him alone.

Although practically drowning beneath the heaps of other memorabilia you’d come decked out in, the Il Dottore themed lanyard that hung from your phone case was ultimately unable to escape his piercing gaze. He’d always hated the cocky bastard, despised his overly pompous boasting and inflamed ego—but never before had those feelings burnt inside him with such soul-splitting intensity. No, he simply couldn’t help but fume atop the stage as the concert carried on, barely visible glares and the slightest shoves casted towards the senior member.

You weren’t exempt, either. 

Was this what you’d wanted? To try and tear him apart with such an intense bout of jealousy? Forcing him—watching him struggle to keep his composure in front of the millions of fans that were watching him?

It was a stroke of luck he’d decided to become an idol, since he would’ve already bit his tongue off if he had the opportunity to keep his mouth closed.

Over the several months you’d known Scaramouche, invitations backstage had become the norm between the both of you—rare moments of alone time together with your body perfectly slotted within his arms and sweet nothings whispered in your ear. 

Naturally, it was the absence of this that drove your heart wild. 

Even worse was when another fan was granted the honor, personally escorted behind the curtains by the star as fans hounded the duo. 

‘He’d never done that for you,’ came the tiny, jealous voice within your mind—fingers clamping shut into fists as you attempted to rationalize the scene in front of you. It was true, of course, that a bodyguard had always been the one to lead you to his dressing room, a slap in the face considering the way he held their hand in front of everybody. Why, oh why, is some… random person getting better treatment?

The both of you were already well aware that this scene would be blowing up come tomorrow, countless articles, tweets, and tiktoks posted by the insignificant pest he’d picked out. And while his cheeks were absolutely straining from the falsified polite smile he wore, seeing the dejected look on your face certainly alleviated some of the burden. 

It wasn’t as though you even had the right to be angry with him—it’d just be silly considering this little stunt of yours—but there was something so horribly satisfying about watching you seething, all the same. How sweet! That little pout pulling down your lips, the crinkles forming in-between your furrowed eyebrows. Exactly what he’d been hoping for, pulling a random member of the audience along with him, and he was glad you decided not to disappoint twice in one night.

Maybe, if you’d chosen any of the other Harbingers to pull such a stunt with, he might’ve found it amusing. But showing up to his concert, with tickets that he paid for on your behalf, with merch of Il Dottore? Hah. Inexcusable, really—though it was ‘cute’ you had the gall. 

He was certain he’d already gone off on tangents about the man before, certain that he’d already emphasized that only he was worthy of your adoration. Why, then, would you carry through with such a thinly veiled betrayal?

He would not share you with that man.

But no matter..! While the audacity you had to toy with him was commendable in its own right, you weren’t the only one that could play at that game. And Scaramouche? He plays to win. For the sake of proving this point, he’s more than willing to allow you to leave empty-handed tonight, push himself through the agony of being without your touch for a bit longer.

As expected, tickets to the Harbinger’s next concert arrive in your mailbox the day after their latest venue is announced—though the two extra items attached are much more novel. A letter, handwritten by the idol himself, chiding you for this little ‘slip-up’ in your loyalties…  and a Scaramouche themed lanyard, orders attached to dispose of your current one immediately.

He’ll be keeping his eyes on his favorite fan.

You’re lucky that he’s being so generous, but even you should know that he has his limits. If you continue to act out, a more… hands-on punishment will be necessary to remind you of exactly who your love and attention belongs to.

But frankly? He doesn’t think he’d mind. ♡

i have a taglist, which you can sign up for here!

[venusorbits]

GODDAMN SUPERSTAR

SYPNOSIS ︴How you become an iconic and legendary idol in the kpop industry, with your booming fame, charm, undeniable talent and strong presence. It's no surprise that you're catching eyes everywhere you step in. The path of stardom, was not the easiest but the blood, sweat and tears, you gave for this was worth it.

CONTENTS ︴idolverse!, idol kpop reader industry, fluff, kpop industry being terrible and toxic, sasaeng, dispatch, angst, hate comments and everything that's terrible and annoying that comes being in the kpop industry.

PAIRING ︴Eventually Johnny of NCT x K-Pop Soloist! reader

TAGLIST ︴@vapingcandy @pinkladybugs-world @rosabella1009 @sadisticfries​ @oceanic-jupiter-sea @itskpopular @alixnsuperstxr  if you want to be tagged on send me an ask.

NOTE: This is still an 'x Reader fic' technically but, I have to make a name the person, to make it easier for me to write about. I will try not to mention the name I gave the you/oc so, you can still indulge in it. But, there will be occasions when I will have to write it out! Thank you!

아프로디테 🪻 SNS 🪻 CRACK EDIT 🪻 YOUTUBE 🪻

FRIENDSHIP BRACELETS 🪻 DATING HISTORY 🪻IDOL FANBOYS OF DITE 🪻 IDOL FANGIRLS OF DITE 🪻 IDOL INTERACTIONS 🪻 FAN INTERACTIONS 🪻

( ♡ ) ━━━━━ LINEUP OF THE ERAS

TRACK LIST ONE ≡;- ꒰ ° PRE-DEBUT | UNKNOWN ꒱

TRACK LIST TWO ≡;- ꒰ ° DEBUT ERA | 2011 ꒱

TRACK LIST THREE ≡;- ꒰ ° GOOD RIDDANCE ERA | 2012 ꒱

TRACK LIST FOUR ≡;- ꒰ ° TIL LOVE CAME TO KILL US ERA | 2014 ꒱

TRACK LIST FIVE ≡;- ꒰ ° LIE TO ME ERA | 2015 ꒱

TRACK LIST SIX ≡;- ꒰ ° THE REAPER ERA | 2016 ꒱

TRACK LIST SEVEN ≡;- ꒰ ° ?? ERA | 2017 ꒱

TRACK LIST EIGHT ≡;- ꒰ ° REPUTATION ERA | 2018 ꒱

TRACK LIST NINE ≡;- ꒰ ° GOD HELP ME, I'M TRYING ERA | 2019 ꒱

TRACK LIST TEN ≡;- ꒰ ° YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN KID ERA | 2020 ꒱

TRACK LIST ELEVEN ≡;- ꒰ ° ?? ERA | 2021 ꒱

TRACK LIST TWELVE ≡;- ꒰ ° DIVINE WOMAN ERA | 2022 ꒱

TRACK LIST THIRTEEN ≡;- ꒰ ° ?? ERA | 2023 ꒱

[scottishaccentsareawesome]

Master Post of My Stuff That I’m Proud of :) (I update this ALL the time!)

My Hangaroo/Hangster Relationship Playlist (Youtube)

My Icemav Relationship Playlist

My Ineffable Husbands Playlist (Aziraphale x Crowley from Good Omens) 

My BUDDIE Playlist

My Kate/Tyler (Twisters) Playlist!!!!!!!

(^ I am constantly adding on to these on YouTube, just FYI ^)

Fairytale AU’s

“Two Princesses Fell in Love...” (Rapunzel x Sleeping Beauty AU)

Cinderella Fake Dating AU potential

Top Gun

If Maverick isn’t flying that day, he comes home early... (IceMav ficlet)

Slider Gets an Inheritance from Iceman

“All-American Boy” (Goose x Carole and Hangaroo/Hangster ficlet based on ”All-American Girl” by Carrie Underwood)

What If Wolfman wanted to “adopt” Hangman (original post)

Hangaroo/Hangster Time Travel back to 1986 (very open ending in that I didn’t really end it, so if you want to take it and finish it just let me know so I can read it :) )

Parallel between the Top Gun awards ceremony and another event a few years later (IceMav)

Mav adopts little Bradley after Carole dies and Iceman becomes “Uncle Iceman”...

(^ this one was like the first story-post I did about IceMav and I cannot believe I didn’t have it on here already)

IceMav Holiday Headcanons (Thanksgiving & Christmas)

The REAL IceMav Ending of Top Gun: Maverick

“Top Gun” + “Top Gun Maverick” = “The Notebook” (IceMav)

TGM HEADCANON: The Daggers Take Care of Mav After Ice’s Funeral

Rooster and Hangman Talk after Iceman’s Funeral (Hangaroo/IceMav)

Poker Night Between the Daggers and the 86′ers

Ice Gives Advice to Rooster about Hangman (Hangaroo/Hangster)

Rooster Thinks Hangman is Like the Tin Man and Hangman Thinks...(Hangaroo/Hangster)

Rooster Finally Understands 80′s Love Songs (Hangster/Hangaroo)

“Even Though I’m Leaving” by Luke Combs in the POV of Bradley with Goose, Maverick, and Iceman 

“Hungry Eyes” Hangaroo/Hangster Edit

Hangaroo & Bobnix 27 Dresses AU (27 Tuxes)

IceMav Sweet Home Alabama AU

Hangaroo/Hangster How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days AU

IceMav & Hangaroo/Hangster Letters to Juliet AU

IceMav Ocean’s Eleven AU

IceMav The Wedding Planner AU

IceMav Sleepless in Seattle AU

Top Gun “Psych” AU

TOP GUN/MAVERICK ft. TAYLOR SWIFT

IceMav + “Long Live”

Hangaroo/Hangster + “Style”

Hangaroo/Hangster + “Blank Space”

Hangaroo/Hangster + “I’d Lie”

MCU

MCU Characters x Wizard of Oz Parallels

Tony/Pepper/Peter (Parker) Part 1

Tony/Pepper/Peter(Parker) Part 2

Peter Wants to be a Superhero like his Dad Iron Man (but Mom Pepper Finds Out)

Mamma Mia Spideriron Family AU

IronDad & Spider-son - “I’ve Been Waiting or You” (From “Mamma Mia 2″)

IronDad & Spider-son - “My Love My Life” (from Mamma Mia 2″)

Tony’s Promise to Peter and Morgan post-Endgame (lyrics from “Mamma Mia 2″)

MCU Characters as Star Wars Characters

Peter Grows Up Knowing Tony (because he’s friends with Ben)

After Tony gets to heaven (IronDad-Spider-son post)

Tony Walks In On His Young Son Peter Drawing Pictures of a Guy Named Star-Lord (IronQuill)

Stranger Things

Billy Being Raised By His Grandma AU (ft. Harringrove)

Billy Being Raised by His Grandma AU Part 2 (ft. Harringrove)

Billy and Steve go to See “Top Gun” and need a second (or third) opinion

Finding Billy in the Upside Down (with s2 callback)

Harringrove S4 AU + Princess Bride Quote

S4 AU - Steve Chooses Between Eddie and Billy after Finding Billy in the Upside Down

Steve Keeps Billy’s Leather Jacket

Our Flag Means Death

OFMD x “Grease” Parallels

Ed and Stede are the Parents of Another Famous Pirate

Blackbonnet (Stede x Ed) Corpse Bride AU

(S2 FINALE SPOILERS) There is an Inn near the RoP...(Blackbonnet)

****911****

Buck’s s7 Bi Journey set to “Defying Gravity” lyrics (fan art/fan-edit)

Chimney Creates a Bachelor-inspired Office Pool (Bucktommy, Buddie)

Chimney, Hen and Ravi argue about altering the original office pool (Buddie)

What if Eddie kisses Buck while he’s with Tommy...? (Buddie, Bucktommy)

Three Earth-Shattering Events in One Week (7x04)

What if Tommy is in a Helicopter Crash...? (Bucktommy, Buddie)

“911″ -> “8 Simple Rules”-style (Bi Buck, Dad!Bobby, Buddie)

Athena Going Mama Bear on Tommy (Mom!Athena, Bucktommy)

Cruise Ship Doc Asks Buck if Bathena are His Parents (Dad!Bobby, Mom!Athena)

 “He Didn’t Have to Be” by Brad Paisley (Buck & Christopher, Buck & Bobby)

Bobby is the Parent Buck Has Always Needed (Buck & Bobby, Dad!Bobby)

The Theme of Parents and Children in 6x10 (Buck & Bobby, Dad!Bobby)

6x11 “Which one?” (Buckley-Diaz family)

Bobby Watching Buck Sleep in the Hospital after 6x11 (Dad!Bobby, Buck & Bobby)

Buck and Eddie Have Trouble Getting Engaged... (Buddie, Firefam)

When Buck and Eddie Become a Couple, They Have to Work Separately (Buddie)

“Hamilton”-inspired Buddie (Buddie, Dad!Bobby)

Multifandom Posts

This Blog Loves Found Father-Son Relationships

Gibbs & Tony - Bobby & Buck Parallel

Mary Poppins was the Doctor’s Nanny (Doctor Who x Disney)

Iceman and Raymond Holt would be great friends - causing great friendships between Ice, Maverick and the 99th precinct in NYC (Top Gun/Maverick x Brooklyn Nine Nine)

[trollocs-ooc]

💙

gimme them bed room DEETS, M dogg

💙 - Describe their bedroom! Is it personalized, unchanged? Messy, neat?

Second has that type of autism where he won't notice his room is messy until someone tells him how nasty it is, so the room is usually very messy. He'd love if his room was customized but he CANNOT be bothered

Elevens room isn't perfectly orderly, as he finds his hive to be the place where he doesn't have to "perform", but it is a clean room

Slashr - see, as a kid they slept in this room, their room, perfectly ordinary kids bedroom. Except there was this hole in the wall, right across from their bed(They didn't use a recuperacoon). That hole in that wall caused Slashr so much uneasiness and traumatic memories that it is the most notable thing about their childhood bedroom. Whenever they think about that room, the first thing that comes to mind is that fucking hole in the wall, where they'd get stared at by blue eyes that didn't belong to anyone in their household, and from where they could hear heavy breathing and smell sweat poorly covered by shitty perfume as they pretended to sleep, and from where they swore a person came out once or twice or more to look around their room, and sit on their bed looking at them while they pretended to sleep. They think she probably knew they weren't sleeping.

But anyhow, as an adult their room is orderly and clean. If Anything is not in the place they left it, it is an immediate cause for alarm

Ruzmar - plants all over! Very personalized. It loves it's room.

Kullie: pretty bare room, but still the most personalized part of it's hive. What little merch she has of things she likes is all around her room. Also has her shitty fan art taped to her walls. What little plushies she has are placed carefully and deliberately. Keeps everything she can from childhood

Whybie - pretty barren room, showcasing their lack of interest in...pretty much anything. If they find something cool they'll bring it there to put somewhere but other than that? Not much going on. Not enough things to rlly make a mess, but would be messy otherwise

Balkantroll - their room is a sort of messy order to it. He knows where their shit is, but anyone else? Good luck finding it.

Twelve - pretty tasteful room considering most adult seadwellers i imagine have extravagant (gaudy) rooms to show off their wealth. It's got a house by the ocean feel to it, if you get what i mean. It's pretty spacey but tons of cool trinkets (usually ocean themed) everywhere. If it didn't have some horns on racks in places you wouldn't really be able to guess it belonged to a rich seadweller. Always clean and orderly, too

EDIT TA I FORGOT TA - messy, smelly, you can tell the person living there doesn't take care of themselves very well at all

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 9/6/2022

back to exchanging labor for goods and services on thursday. there's a cool new tumblr bug where i cannot insert youtube videos into a draft so i'll see if i can edit those in at some point after this posts

listening Money, Money, Money by ABBA. i am not a big ABBA fan. my best friend is. sometimes i listen to one of their songs to indulge her bc she's my best friend and occasionally listening to an artist i don't actively enjoy is a very small friendship maintenance price. sometimes i'm like "oh fuck this slaps actually". i don't have the music theory words to explain why i like the chorus so much? it sounds like this kaomoji ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

-

reading reread On the Beach by Neville Shute, still percolating thoughts through my brain bc it is so different from "modern" nuclear apocalypse books and bc i have been laid low by head hurty for most of the week.

however, an article, bc "violence-as-a-service" made me fucking cackle and this is an interesting turn in the standard practice of "cybercriminals siccing local police forces at their enemies":

it is exceptionally fucking funny to me that the newest breed of mobster has reinvented the mob hit. and of course the dipshit who got arrested in the article is from just outside atlantic city. now, everyone who lives in jersey is holding their nose and looking the other way to some extent. atlantic city is a place i would not recommend experiencing in person but is very difficult to describe.

-

watching a lotta nonsense mostly, but let's talk about Robin and the 7 Hoods (1964, dir Douglas). i watched this whole fuckin movie specifically for the scene with the club that turns into a revivalist meeting to hide from the cops by way of a giant rotating floor and hidden compartments. honestly a masterpiece of set design.

not a ton to say about the "excuse for hanging out with my friends" Sinatra vehicle itself, not a ton of fun facts about production (apparently this movie barely got made due to the kidnapping of Sinatra's son, a falling out with the actor replaced by Bing Crosby, and the JFK assassination), not even a lot of terribly good songs, but it does have a notable girlboss and manages to be funny despite itself. it is a movie About prohobition in chicago but it is also About "I can make a mob movie because I can, and I think I'm being very droll" from Frank "mob connections" Sinatra.

i have one more Rat Pack movie left after this bc i have already seen the original Oceans' Eleven (YIKES) and will be skipping Sergeants Three for reasons that will be instantly obvious upon reading the description: "Three cavalry officers and a bugler work together to thwart a Native American chief intent on uniting local tribes against the white man."

i did not understand the peter f/alk surge of interest until i watched this. watching him move on screen is delightful. best sense of comedic timing in this extremely long movie and WHAT is he doing NEXT with his HANDS???

-

playing breath of the wild is a very forgiving game bc it let me solve the thundra plateau shrine puzzle in the stupidest way possible. rot13 below bc i feel like being polite even though this is not a new game (image from this article, which also contains spoilers)

whfg tbys-onyyvat gur pbybeshy beof bagb gur prageny cyngsbez jvgu jungrire zryrr jrncba v unq unaql naq fgnfvf VAFGRNQ BS gur guvat v qvq juvpu jnf guebjvat gurz bss gur cyngsbezf gurl jrer ba, pneelvat gurz gb gur pbyyncfrq rqtr bs gur cyngsbez, sybngvat gurz hc bire gur yvc jvgu onyybbaf, naq gura fgngvf + neebjf gb xabpx gurz bagb gur cyngsbez cebcre. va gur enva. trggvat uvg ol yvtugavat n ybg. yvax v nz fb fbeel v sbetbg gur ehoore nezbe rkvfgrq naq v unq vg va zl vairagbel

it's good open-world game design to support as many solutions as possible even if some of them are very goofy

-

making fallow week

[celiabowens]

Book recommendations, Literary Fiction edition(?)

A companion to this post (which should be updated, at some point lol)

Short Story Collections: 

Salt Slow by Julia Armfield: grotesque and disquieting collection about women and their experience in society, how they view and perceive their own body and desires. Pretty strong mythic, magical realism, body horror elements in here.

The Man Who Mistook his Wife for a Hat and Other Clinical Tales by Oliver Sacks: fascinating collection in which Sacks reminishes some particularly odd stories of patients who had to cope with bizarre neurological disorders.

Home Remedies by Xuan Juliana Wang: a collection focused on the Chinese millennial experience. Stories about love and loss, family, immigration and the uncertainty of the future. (also there’s an extremely beautiful short story about a pair of Chinese divers that broke me forever!!!)

Bestiary: The Selected Stories by Julio Cortázar: unforgettable selection of short stories that mix surreal elements to everyday life and apparently ordinary events. Would also recommend All Fires the Fire by the same author.

Novels:

How Much of These Hills is Gold by C. Pam Zhang: one of the biggest debuts of 2020, it follows two recently orphaned children through the gold rush era. An adventurous historical fiction piece that focuses on themes like gender, identity and immigration, this is one of my favorites 2020 reads so yeah, I’d really push it in anyone’s hands to be honest.

Burial Rites by Hannah Kent: historical fiction inspired by the last days of a young woman accused of murder in Iceland in the 1820s. A quite bleak, but beautiful novel (the prose is stunning).

The Mercies by Kiran Millwood Hargrave: historical fiction novel set in Norway in the 17th century, following the lives of a group of women in a village that recently (barely) survived a storm that killed all of the island’s men. 

The Nickel Boys by Colson Whitehead: the 2020 winner of the Pulitzer Prize. The book follows the lives of two boys sentenced to a reform school in Jim Crow-era Florida. A bleak, but important book, with a shocking final twist (side note, I’ve been recommended The Underground Railroad by Whitehead as well, but I haven’t gotten to it yet. If you’re looking for something quite peculiar, if a bit less refined when compared to The Nickel Boys, The Intuitionist is a quite odd pulpy noir set in an alternate NY about...elevator inspectors *and racism*). 

The Leavers by Lisa Ko: haunting book about identity and immigration as the main character is apparently abandoned by his own mother (an undocumented Chinese immigrant) during his childhood. Mainly a story about living in between places and constantly feeling out of place. 

The Memory Police by Yoko Ogawa: when everyone would probably recommend Murakami (not much against Murakami besides his descriptions of women and their boobs), I suggest checking out some of Ogawa’s books. The recently translated The Memory Police, published in Japan in the mid 90s, is an orwellian dystopian novel set on an unnamed Island where memories slowly disappear. Would also really recommend The Housekeeper and The Professor, a really short novel about a housekeeper hired to clean and cook for a math professor who suffered an injury that causes him to remember new things for only 80 minutes. 

On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong: Ocean Vuong’s debut novel, following a son writing a letter to his illiterate mother. The book seems quite polarising due to Vuong’s writing style (his poetry background is really quite clear and the book doesn’t really follow a regular narrative, rather than portrays events and memories in brief flashes), but I loved it and I’d really just recommend going into it without knowing much? It’s a beautiful exploration of language, family history, trauma, sexuality and more.

Exist West by Mohsin Hamid: this book was fairly popular when it came out (in 2017 I believe) and was often incorrectly marketed as magical realism. Hamid’s book is a brief and quietly brutal journey with a few fantastical elements, following a couple trying to escape their city in the middle of war, as they hear about peculiar doors that can whisk people far away. The doors are, of course, a quite effective metaphor for the immigrant experience and the book does a great job at portraying the main characters’ relationship. 

Family Trust by Kathy Wang: this has a really low rating on goodreads which...wow i hate that. Family Trust is a literary family saga/drama about a Chinese-American family residing in the Silicon Valley. It’s often been compared to Crazy Rich Asians, but I believe it to be more on the literary side and definitely less lighthearted. 

Pachinko by Min Jin Lee: historical family saga (one of my favorites tbh, I’m absolutely biased, but this book deserved more hype) set in Korea and Japan throughout the 20th century, following four generations of a Korean family. While I wasn’t the biggest fan of the prose, the book has really great characterisation and absolutely fascinating characters. (I’d suggest checking out eventual TW first, in this case). 

The Silence of the Girls by Pat Barker: another recent read, The Silence of the Girls, while not faultless, is a pretty good retelling of The Iliad, narrated through Briseis’ perspective. The prose can feel a bit too modern at times, but it provides the reader with some really strong quotes and descriptions. 

Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng: and also Little Fires Everywhere by the same author, to be honest. If you’re looking for really really good family dramas, with great explorations of rather complex and nuanced relationships? You should just check out her stuff. Vibrant characters, good writing, and some superb portrayal of longing here. 

Nutshell by Ian McEwan: i’m starting with this one only to grab your attention (if you’ve even reached this part lol, congrats), but McEwan’s one of my favorite authors and I’d recommend almost everything I’ve read by him? Nutshell, specifically, is a really odd and fun retelling of Hamlet...told from the pov of an unborn baby. But really, I’d also recommend Atonement (of course), The Children Act, Amsterdam? All good stuff. 

A Gentleman in Moscow by Amor Towles: I’ve read this book this summer and, while I’m still unsatisfied with the ending, I’d thoroughly recommend this? The novel follows Count Alexander Rostov, who, in 1922, is sentenced to a lifetime of house arrest in the Metropol, a luxurious hotel in the center of Moscow. A singular novel, funny and heartbreaking at once, following a vibrant cast of characters as they come and go from Rostov’s secluded life. 

Human Acts by Han Kang: from the bestselling author of The Vegetarian (which honestly, I thoroughly despised lol), Human Acts focuses on the South Korean Gwangju uprising. It’s a really odd (and at times grotesque) experimental novel (one chapter is narrated from the pov of one of the bodies if I remember correctly), so one really has to be in the mood for it, but it’s a really unique experience, worth a chance.

The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay by Michael Chabon: sort of a really chunky historical adventure novel following two artists in 1940s/1950s NY, who create a superhero and use him to wage a one man war on the Nazis. A bit slow in places (the pace can be uneven at times and the book is quite long), but an enjoyable novel that does a pretty good job when it comes to exploring rather classic themes of American contemporary fiction: the American dream and the figure of the artist (I think there’s a particularly interesting focus on how the artists navigates the corporate world and its rules) and their creative process.

Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel: this is a pretty classic rec, the book really got a lot of hype when it came out? It’s a dystopian-ish novel set after civilisation’s collapse, following a post-apocalyptic troupe (of Shakespearean actors). It’s a really odd, but surprisingly quiet book. Not sure if a pandemic is exactly the right time to read it, but I thoroughly recommend it. 

The Garden of Evening Mists by Tan Twan Eng: I feel like this book is extremely complex to summarise to be honest. In short, it’s a book set in Malaya at the end of the 1940s, following a woman who, after surviving Japanese wartime camps, spends her life prosecuting war criminals. But truthfully this book is about conflicts and contradictions and in particular about remembering and forgetting. Lovely prose. 

The Secret History by Donna Tartt: and also The Goldfinch. I’m sure no one really needs me to introduce Donna Tartt?

The Luminaries by Eleanor Catton: quite cerebral mystery set in New Zealand in 1866. Honestly you have to be a patient reader who enjoys novels with a pretty complex structure to like this, but if you’re into this sort of challenging read...go for it? It’s a book of interlocking stories (with 10+ pov and main characters) with a really fascinating structure based on astrological charts, which provide insight to the main characters’ traits and personality as the mystery unfolds.

The Hours by Michael Cunningham: ok...do not watch the movie first. The Hours is an incredibly difficult novel to describe to be honest: it begins by recalling the last moments of Virginia Woolf’s life, as she’s writing Mrs. Dalloway. The book focuses on three separate narratives, each one following a specific character throughout a single day of their own life. Goes without saying that I’d suggest being familiar with Mrs. Dalloway itself first though.

An Artists of the Floating World by Kazuo Ishiguro: not one of Ishiguro’s most famous works (most start reading his work with Never Let Me Go or The Remains of the Day), but probably my favorite out of those I’ve read so far. The novel follows  Masuji Ono, an artist who put his work in service of imperialist propaganda throughout WWII. Basically a reflection and an account of the artist’s life as he deals with the culpability of his previous actions. 

Stoner by John Williams: I feel like this is an odd book to recommend, because I don’t think someone can truly get the hype unless they read it themselves. Stoner is a pretty straight-forward book, following the ordinary life of an even more ordinary man. And yet it’s so compelling and never dull in its exploration of the characters’ lives and personalities. Also, I’ve just finished Augustus by the same author, which is an epistolary historical fiction novel narrating some of the main events of Augustus’ reign through letters from/by his closest friends and enemies. Really liked it. 

Do Not Say We Have Nothing by Madeleine Thien: back to integenerational family sagas (because I love those, in case it wasn’t clear lol), Do Not Say We Have Nothing follows a young woman who suddenly rediscovers her family’s fractured past. The novel focuses on two successive generations of a Chinese family through China’s 20th century history. While not every character got the type of development they deserved, the author does a good job when it comes to gradually recreating the family’s complex and nuanced history. 

There’s probably more but I doubt anyone’s going to reach the end or anything so. There’s that lol.

[leonstamatis]

boston flowers masterpost

hi. this is a collection of all my fic and explanations of the lore for the boston flowers of blaseball fame. it’s mostly for my personal reference, but if you’ve read my fic before and you want to learn a little more about the worldbuilding behind it, this could be a fun resource? welcome to the tam and jaz extended flowers universe, or something.

this post is updated as i write more. assuming i remember. if you have any questions, i am obviously perfectly happy to ramble on and on and on, so shoot me an ask and i’ll tell you whatever you wanna know. (and if you want non-flowers blaseball content, i have a masterpost of that too!)

(some of this is very different from common fan interpretations, to the point of being nearly unrecognizable. enjoy or ignore at your leisure.)

interpretations of the garden and team as a whole:

the garden as an entity

where did the garden come from?

how the garden changes each individual flowers player, season 13 edition

a breakdown of the gender and humanity of past and present boston flowers circa s11 (controversial, tread with caution, etc)

thoughts on the relationships of dead flowers

manifestos and thoughts on specific characters/ships:

an overview of every character irm for the boston flowers i have ever thought about (lol. lmao.)

a manifesto on jacob f#cking haynes

a manifesto on margarito nava

why jacob haynes and moses mason are in love

why margarito nava and nagomi nava should be twins

why moses mason becomes a statue, circa s11

the death of moses mason

a potential pitch for allan kranch

a summary of moses/layna/jacob following layna’s alternation in s21

lengthy fic published to AO3:

“roots,” an incomplete history of the boston flowers and margo and nagomi nava. covering seasons one through eleven.

“walk beneath the sun,” in which hurley pacheco and matheo carpenter are soulmates. set in seasons one and two.

“faking glory,” a dunn keyes character study, set in seasons four and five.

“running like a lonely soul on fire,” a beck whitney character study with a bit of beck/cali. set in seasons four through six.

“sense don’t make what it used to be,” a jacob haynes character study and also a jacob/layna/moses manifesto. set in seasons six through eight.

“find my home in you,” in which king weatherman and glabe moon are lesbians and they’re in love. set from season nine through the siesta, ish. the timeline is not as important in this one.

“the light you gave me,” in which alaynabella hollywood and the garden reach an understanding. set over the grand siesta.

“beasts to bury,” in which moses mason becomes a receiver. set in seasons thirteen and fourteen.

“lurching in the sun,” in which brock forbes learns to live in the garden, set in the siesta after season fourteen.

“the ocean searching,” in which cory twelve gets the receiver mod and finds a home. set from season twelve through season nineteen.

“into the endless night,” in which brock forbes dies, and the garden and the flowers learn to cope. set in season twenty-two.

“good intentions,” an alternate take on allan kranch. set in season seventeen.

“heart locked water-tight,” an introduction to allan kranch and the smithy. set in seasons nineteen and twenty.

“portraits hung in empty halls,” a story about glabe moon in the vault. set in season twenty-four.

mini fic that lives on tumblr alone:

(standard blaseball universe)

alaynabella hollywood/jacob haynes/moses mason

transformation following the receiver mod

jacob returns from elsewhere

moses receives the alternate mod

“guitar”

jacob gets feedbacked to the bints

layna gets alternated

margarito nava/nic winkler

recovering from the scattered modification

dancing

kiss as a promise

“i’ve got you”

sign language

falling asleep

post-moses mason death

margarito nava and nagomi nava as twins

post-it notes

distance

nagomi in the shadows

Various other assorted friendships and romances

alaynabella hollywood + betsy trombone, seattle

beck whitney + jacob haynes, rookie mistake

beck whitney + nic winkler, elsewhere

beck whitney/silvaire roadhouse, incomplete 12x100

dunn keyes + brock forbes, highway

moses mason + wyatt mason vi, echo

moses mason + chambers simmons, apologies

scores baserunner/york silk, meeting family

zeboriah wilson/bontgomery mullock, sunlight

zesty yaboi/jayden wright, starting over

zesty yaboi/jayden wright, animal bone

(crime au, originally thought up by marn @kentuckycorpsereviver; the flowers speakeasy is a jamie @waveridden invention!)

alaynabella hollywood/jacob haynes/moses mason

kiss as a distraction

coming home

bandaging wounds

moses and vi + windows

layna + grift

moses and vi + knife

brock forbes + dunn keyes

closing time

margarito nava/nic winkler

kiss for luck

adrenaline

"don’t look at me like that”

wyatt mason vi/dunn keyes

an introduction

(superhero au, which i think might also be from marn???)

moses + vi, introductions

(fae au, also originally from marn)

margarito nava/nic winkler

they’re at a fancy fae party

[cupstealer]

Re: your last ask.

I am also no longer into the fandom side of hockey anymore and hardly ever read fan fic anymore. (A senior thesis will do that to a person 😔) Buut I want you to know that I think about contact high on a regular basis. Once a week maybe type of regular, when I’m wishing I was reading something fun and not a science journal. Is that weird?! I mean I know that sounds a little crazy- but it might be the greatest fic I’ve ever read. While I was reading it I got the sense that it would be one of my favorites, but I had no idea how much it would still ruminate with me a year and a half later. I don’t think I can recall a single other rpf work like I can that one. You are such an amazing writer! And I hope you continue to write- whatever it may be that your writing about! 💕

(Sorry to keep putting these on y’all’s dash, but it’s the only way I can THANK these anons and they definitely need thanking.)

Your timing OP ;.; I really got this ask when I needed it most. 💕 Thank you thank you thank you! Sorry for the delayed response—it’s so hard to figure out how to thank somebody and explain how much words like this mean while not sounding like a flu patient or something.

To answer your question, it’s not weird! There are absolutely fics that live rent-free in my head to the degree that I’m basically sponsoring them on a permanent residency program [cut to footage of bring it if you really want it by staraflur]. And god, what an honor that Contact High is like that for you 🙏 Contact High is my favorite thing that I’ve written. A lot (pfff, all) of the content was so self-indulgent for me, just utter wish-fulfillment, which I usually try to dial back, but I wanted to see what might happen if I really leaned in instead. (The thing with toothpaste/walking in on someone actually happened to me when I was staying over at a friend’s house in high school... Sorry again to her brother, I promise I barely saw anything.) There isn’t a single element of that fic that I wasn’t excited about while I was writing it. And it’s that much more touching when the work that feels the most ‘me’ is someone’s favorite.

Anon, I hope you get some free time to read fun stuff soon! You deserve it. And good luck on your thesis! Defend that sumbitch like you’re Connor Murphy (no idea if it’s the kind of thesis you defend, but you get my meaning). Thank you again 💕

I am still writing, by the way! Just as slow as ever though, and for a very mixed bag of subjects! No hockey lately, though I have a few unpublished 1988 WIPs that I haven’t touched in a long stretch yet haven’t let go of either. Every fall, I pump myself up to roll up my sleeves and edit/finish this genre-confused frankenstein of a haunted house-type fic, and I haven’t given up hope yet! (Plus if I finish it, I can finally read jezziejay’s witch Jonny fic—which got posted while I was writing mine, and I made myself bookmark it for later so I wouldn’t be influenced or in my head about any overlap even though they’re almost certainly totally different in every way. I’m dying to read hers ;.;)

Hmm I hesitate to say this, but... If anyone is really interested regardless of fandom, there’s also an unorthodox fic I wrote as a Christmas present for my sister back in 2017 that she keeps telling me to post. (I know, and it gets weirder from there.) I think I want to but I’ve hesitated for several reasons. First: I need to re-do the ending now that I’m not scrambling to finish it on Christmas Eve. Second: It is a pairing that does not exist and kind of bananas. More info under the cut if you’re interested.

Basically, years ago, one of my sisters and I had a looong conversation about who was worthy of being shipped with Stacker Pentecost from Pacific Rim, and when none of the characters from the movie satisfied us, we reached out into the vast universe of basically anyone from any media to find him love, guess-and-check style. After literal hours, I brought up one of my favorite under-appreciated characters, Linus Caldwell from Ocean’s Eleven (Matt Damon). Which makes no sense, but doesn’t it a little? It became a running joke, and then a running a joke that I was gonna write it, and then not a joke. Ain’t that the way?

So yeah—Third: I’m hesitant to get somebody excited about a new hockey fic only to open the email and see it’s a batshit crossover that literally no one (except my sisters) is asking for. That being said, I started it as a joke/challenge, but ended up making something that I find quite a fun little ride because I was so loose with it (because, like, who’s ever gonna see this, right? Some real dance like nobody’s watching shit). I’ve written a bunch of stuff never meant to see daylight, but this fic in particular feels complete. It just has a lot going on (Hidden identities! Never Been Kissed-style fake student/professor tension! Chase scenes! Cameos! Close-up magic! Heist crew banter! Idris Elba’s North London accent! My total lack of military knowledge!). Also it’s over 30k words. (Yeah.)

Is there any interest in me posting this?? To be clear, I’m definitely not expecting it to be popular or anything, but taking the time to fix it up only makes sense if I know at least two people will lay eyes one it, lol. You don’t have to know both films really well for it to make sense, but familiarity with the Ocean’s trilogy and characters probably helps a lot for context since it takes place in between those movies. Goes without saying that no offense will be taken if there isn’t clamoring demand amongst hockey rpfers for 30k of Pacific Rim crossed over with a George Clooney movie franchise in a fic that has neither giant robots nor giant monsters (nor George Clooney, in any appreciable quantity)... Think I’m capable of taking that sentiment on the chin. 🤙

[rayelovesgreen]

Tag nine people you want to get to know better!

Thank you so much for the tag @iamanonniemouse! :D I actually never heard of this before so it'd be fun for me to give it a go!

Favorite color: As you can see from my username, green! And also pink. If you ever got inside my room you know you'll find a lot of stuff that's either green or pink.

Currently reading: The Nolan Variations: The Movies, Mysteries, and Marvels of Christopher Nolan written by Tom Shone. The book is about going deep down into Nolan's films, such as; discussing about his process on filmmaking, studying his signature themes, going thru' a little bit of his backstory, and so much much. Even though I'm not even halfway thru' the book yet, I've been enjoying it so far! I gotta be honest, I don't really read non-fiction or biography books—but this one got me hooked. I'm a big fan of Chris Nolan's work and after hearing about this book, I just gotta buy it and read it. And it was worth it.

Last song: Troye Sivan — Angel Baby. A few days ago my friend sent me this song. And ever since then, I couldn't stop listening to it. For me, this is the kind of song you can't help but to imagine fictional scenarios you know you won't experience :)

Last movie: Sooo I think I'm gonna put this in two categories!

Last newest movie: Dune (2021). My mom and I went to the theaters a few weeks ago to see this movie. And I think this is like the first movie I ever saw in theaters after being stuck in quarantine i didn't get to watch tenet in theaters which is really sad. Unfortunately, the place we went to wasn't really good... The screen was too dark and I was too distracted by that, I couldn't really focus and it sucks 'cuz the visuals of this movie is actually so damn good!

Last re-watch: Ocean's Eleven (2001). I'm a sucker for this fandom. I always find myself re-watching Ocean's Trilogy and Inception (2010) nonstop to the point where my brother always call me out and couldn't handle it anymore.

Last series: I think it was Stranger Things! I'm late to this fandom, like really late. If it wasn't because of my cousin, I wouldn't have watched this series in the first place.

Currently craving: Some drinks. Weather it's a glass of milkshake, a boba, or just a simple cup of hot chocolate... I want 'em :/

Tea of coffee: Tea. To be honest, I don't mind drinking coffee. But if I had to choose, I prefer tea.

Currently working on: Some fics and video edits! Which I'm gonna list down below...

An Avengers fic for my friends. I miss the original Avengers and my new friends from school also happens to like Marvel as much as I do! So it'd be fun for me to write about the original 6 and share it to them!

An Ariadne and Cobb fanfic that I'm writing for the InceptGen Fest!

An Ariadne and Yusuf fanfic. I actually finished writing this and I already posted it, but I wanted to revise/edit it a lil cuz I'm not that satisfied yet sdlkdfj

A Linus Caldwell x Reader fanfic. Reading reader insert fanfics are my guilty pleasure. Sad thing is I couldn't find any Linus x Reader anywhere, so I decide to do it myself :) there's a high chance that i won't be posting this, i'm probably just gonna keep it for myself and share it to my close friends

An Ocean's Eleven video edit. I'm actually done editing this a few days go BUT when I export it, the clips went weird and messy and idk what to do with it so I'm re-editing it, which is really suffering fun :)

And last but not least, another Inception video edit for InceptGen Fest! I think the song fits perfectly with Cobb's life and I can't wait how it'll turn out!

I'm tagging @yoshieeto @azxuure @hollywood-n-stuff @disaster-by-chance @theredamogus and to anyone who wanna join doing this as well! :D

[qvid-pro-qvo]

end of year creator tag (2020)

RULES: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 favourite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works <3

i was tagged by @writefasttalkevenfaster and @hurricanejjareau! thank you, my loves. all links are tumblr links, and AO3 links are on my masterlist!

1. agents and asphodel (series, aaron hotchner x fem!reader) - to say that i’m proud of this endeavor i think would be an understatement. i had never in my life attempted a work this long, and this work was not MEANT to be as long as it was - if you go back in my blog you’ll see me laughing about how it was supposed to be 15k. and now it’s the monstrosity it is now. this work meant so much to me - it introduced me to so many people in the criminal minds fandom, allowed me to pursue and develop a story from start to finish, and most of all ended up as a work i’m unendingly pleased to find out people still enjoy. sidenote - one of my first tasks of 2021 will be reformatting the posts so that navigation from chapter to chapter is easier, i promise. 

2. the recruitment/the ocean’s eleven au (aaron hotchner x female!reader) - really, this whole series was just an exercise in wish fulfillment, and i loved every damn second of it. first of all, ocean’s eleven is a comfort movie that i just fall into every time, and this first excursion into this world made me just grin with delight when it posted it. the team as con artists, as thieves, as the other side of the law, was just too good not to toy around with. the rest of the series is fun, but i felt like this first piece captures the relationship between hotch and rossi as well as the absolute ethereal queen that is emily prentiss brilliantly. 

3. lies taste sweet the first time you tell ‘em (gen, bau & reader) - a platonic fic, but 100% an exploration into relationships. this fic was a way to dissect and explore my feelings around one of the most compelling storylines in the show from the perspective of someone who is both a fan of this particular plotline and also critical yet understanding of the need to brush past the fallout of emily’s death. i love the way the voice of each character sounds in this piece, i love the interactions, i love the emotion it gets across... i really love it. 

4. we meet now and then on a winter’s day (and i am all the better for it) (rafael barba x female!reader) - this was, i believe, my first rafael barba x reader fic, and i loved putting it together. i love the story and progression of this one - i’m always a fan of development, and i loved writing rafael’s development through the eyes of a reader who has her own goals and wants in mind. i really love how rafael’s voice sounds in this piece, too. playing with a young rafael and showing his growth was so rewarding (plus there’s a coffee shop scene, and i’m a SLUT for coffee shop scenes). 

5. what your first kiss with the SVU boys looks like... (headcanon) - i say it’s a headcanon, but it’s basically a fic. first of all, working with red is a dream and always a delight. i love talking with her, bouncing ideas back and forth, and developing stories and ideas. second, i think this piece in particular gave me a chance to truly dive into each of the boys as a character, get more comfortable writing them, and create sweet little fluffy moments like they all deserve. these headcanons are all so fun, but this one was one where i felt like it just all came together in the end of the product we both could be proud of. 

tag: specifically @iconicc, @goldenxreid, @whistlingwillows, and anyone else who wants to show the world what works you’re proud of this past year. love on yourself a little today. <3

[dweemeister]

Kiss of Death (1947)

When 20th Century Fox put together the pieces to launch a production of film noir Kiss of Death, the picture was to be a vehicle for leading man Victor Mature. Mature had impressed Fox’s chief executive, Darryl F. Zanuck, in a supporting performance as Doc Holliday in My Darling Clementine (1946). Zanuck wished to reward the Fox contractee with a starring role, buying the rights to the film’s story with Mature in mind. But no one at Fox expected what would happen next: an actor debuting in his first film role would overshadow Mature. Kiss of Death marks the cinematic debut for Richard Widmark, best-known at the time for his Broadway work in pleasant, romantic comedy roles. For his first movie appearance, Widmark – and I don’t write something like this lightly – provides one of the most terrifying debuts in film history. This is not to downplay the performances (of Mature, Brian Donlevy, or fellow debutant Coleen Gray) or the filmmaking, but Widmark’s performance alone make Kiss of Death – directed by Henry Hathaway, from a screenplay by Ben Hecht and Charles Lederer – an essential film noir.

After a failed jewelry store robbery on Christmas Eve, ex-con Nick Bianco (Victor Mature) is offered leniency from New York City Assistant District Attorney Louis D’Angelo (Brian Donlevy) if Nick can provide the names of his accomplices to the robbery. Against all common sense and in the belief his accomplices will take care of his wife and daughters, Nick refuses. He is handed a twenty-year sentence in Sing Sing. Several months into the sentence, he learns that his wife has committed suicide following a rape by one of his accomplices* and that his daughters have been handed over to an orphanage. Former babysitter Nettie Cavallo (Coleen Gray) divulges this news to Nick, who then indicates his desire to cooperate with the ADA. In an arrangement agreed to by D’Angelo and Nick’s lawyer, Earl Howser (Taylor Holmes), Nick becomes a jailhouse informant and is given the possibility of an earlier parole. While serving as a jailhouse informant, he will encounter Tommy Udo (Widmark) – who, eventually, uses any means at his disposal to keep Nick silent about his plans and partners-in-crime.

The film also stars Mildred Dunnock (appearing briefly in one of the most memorable scenes in any film noir), character actors Howard Smith and Millard Mitchell, and only the second credited film for eventual star Karl Malden.

Before commenting on how the performances heighten what could have been your run-of-the-mill film noir, Norbert Brodine’s (1938’s Merrily We Live, 1949’s Thieves’ Highway) cinematography and J. Watson Webb Jr.’s (1944’s The Lodger, 1952’s With a Song in My Heart) editing are superb. One only has to watch the opening moments of the film to witness the benefits of their collaboration. The failed robbery scene is a textbook example of economical filmmaking. Webb’s cutting neither lingers nor moves away too rapidly for the audience’s comprehension. Brodine’s strategic placements of his camera and use of blocking – of Mature, the supporting actors, extras, and the production design – ratchets up the tension, suggesting without any words how little room for error there is in this operation. Small details such as what level an elevator is on allow the audience to agonize – however much we do not want to see this robbery succeed – over the robbers’ wasted seconds. In Kiss of Death’s tensest scenes, this mercurial combination splices into moments that will shock and unnerve. Kiss of Death is an ideal counterargument to black-and-white film’s uninformed naysayers but, more compellingly, an entry point for film noir novices.

When complemented with Richard Widmark’s performance, Kiss of Death becomes horrifying. Widmark’s face often sports a toothy half-grin that only serves to intimidate. To make matters worse, as Tommy Udo, his staccato snigger accompanies a grin belying a man unhinged, delighting in his sadistic and psychopathic ways. Udo’s disconcerting voice and manner of speech reveals a character as slippery as a soapy eel. The way he tells a cop prodding for information that, “I wouldn’t give you the skin off a grape,” comes laced with dismissal, menace, and even playfulness.

It is difficult to watch the harm Tommy Udo brings to others. But Widmark is so convincing in the role, it is impossible to keep one’s eyes off of him. If you are aware about the basics of the Hays Code, you can easily guess Tommy Udo’s fate. But beyond the scope of the film’s narrative, the character inspired certain men in American colleges and universities to form Tommy Udo clubs or fraternities. These clubs and fraternities codified Udo’s disgusting male chauvinism – as if colleges and universities needed any more such behavior. It is a magnificent about-face from Widmark’s Broadway roles at the time; his actual off-screen persona (by all accounts, Widmark was one of the kindest people in Hollywood and was known to apologize for any hurtful words or behaviors he performed while in character on a film shoot); and many of the upstanding roles he would play later in his career.

Though outshone by Widmark, Mature strikes the balance of being a former hoodlum and caring parent. His physical acting cannot hide his character’s violent past, but – akin to his performance as Doc Holliday the previous year – there is ample room for melancholy and remorse. Mature pairs well with Coleen Gray, whose innocent demeanor recalls her later performances in Red River (1948) and other film noir projects.

Speaking of film noir, most noir is set in an urban environment and filmed on a soundstage. Kiss of Death is no exception to this rule, but a decent portion of the film was shot on-location in New York City and numerous interiors do not feel as if shot on a soundstage. The Bianco family home has a riverfront view in Queens and the interior and exteriors of the Chrysler Building (where the opening heist is filmed), Criminal Courts Building, Sing Sing (Hathaway had Mature and Widmark go through a simulation of convict processing to help them embody the mindset of a prisoner), among other locations. Quotations from the main theme of Alfred Newman’s score to Street Scene (1931) bolsters the authenticity of the film’s New York environment. In terms of backgrounds and production design, there is little sense of artificiality that might have emanated from an all-too-obvious soundstage. Hathaway’s direction posits Kiss of Death as documentary-like without ever quite crossing the lines of fiction and non-fiction. In combination with the performances, these decisions, in aggregate, elevate Kiss of Death from just another film noir. No disrespect intended to the esteemed and prolific screenwriters, Ben Hecht (1932’s Scarface, 1946’s Notorious) and Charles Lederer (1940’s His Girl Friday, 1960’s Ocean’s Eleven), but this was not their most original screenplay – ideologically, structurally, or in terms of character development.

Other reviewers have noted how Tommy Udo might have been influenced by the Joker from the Batman comics. Some go further, claiming that Widmark was a fan of Batman and based Udo’s persona on the Joker and that actor Frank Gorshin based his portrayal of The Riddler in the 1960s Batman television series on Udo. There are no primary sources to confirm any of these claims. If any prior narrative media influenced Widmark’s performance, I cannot confirm any such claims however convincing, on the surface, they might be. The provenance of the influences of and by this performance remains a mystery.

Kiss of Death derives its power almost solely from its performances and nail-biting action. The latter is almost entirely accomplished with slower and/or less motion than one might expect. It is another tribute to the editing’s manipulation of space and time that segments featuring a steady walk, a seemingly ordinary dinner table conversation, or a character sitting alone in darkness watching the movement across the street can leave viewers with wide eyes and goosebumps. Kiss of Death may not stake a claim to being one of the best examples of film noir. Yet through its incredible performances and dramatic ferocity, it will leave impressions that will jangle even the most composed viewers.

My rating: 8/10

^ Based on my personal imdb rating. Half-points are always rounded down. My interpretation of that ratings system can be found in the “Ratings system” page on my blog (as of July 1, 2020, tumblr is not permitting certain posts with links to appear on tag pages, so I cannot provide the URL).

For more of my reviews tagged “My Movie Odyssey”, check out the tag of the same name on my blog.

* Actress Patricia Morrison (1943′s The Song of Bernadette, 1946′s Dressed to Kill... but better known for her stage performances) was cast as Nick Bianco’s wife. She filmed both the rape and suicide scenes, but both were cut in the final print. It is unknown who – Hathaway? Kohlmar? Zanuck? – made this decision. But I imagine that the Production Code Administration, applying the Hays Code which forbade such depictions, might have been instrumental in forcing Fox to drop the scenes.

[cmitz]

Personal top movies of the decade. There were a lot of great ones and I didn't watch them. Instead we have:

3. Pacific Rim. For a majority of people this isn't really anything to write home about in terms of anything other than production design and world building. I love this movie. I've seen this movie the most in theaters more than I have any other movie. As a life long tokusatsu/kaiju movie fan, seeing something like this one the big screen was a dream come true. It's far from perfect. The lead actor is...something. I feel that it's enjoyable and I notice something new every time I watch it because, really, the art direction in this is maybe too good for this movie.

2. Shin Godzilla. The best Godzilla movie to come out since 2001. It took my breath away when I saw it in theaters just because of how horrific they made Godzilla once again. If you're not a fan of the two newer American iterations because they may be too bombastic, this is the perfect foil. It's like an episode of West Wing, but the problem is Godzilla. I at least find it very interesting to see the concept of a giant monster taken this seriously and the tactics they they deploy to deal with the situation.

1. Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse. Once upon a time I wanted to be an animator and make a Spider-Man movie. That shit didn't and isn't happening anymore, but I doesn't need to because this movie exists. It's really everything I want in both an animated movie and a Spider-Man movie and it's not a horrible mess. The animation is stylish as hell and doesn't rely of realism to be impressive. There's a lot of Spider-Man characters and fan service and it's all handled beautifully. The script is tight as hell, the pacing is great. It's an absolute total package.

The other, arguably better, great movies of the decade:

Rubber: A spoof, meta "horror" movie about a killer tire. I love humor and the way weird structure of the story. There's an audience watching things unfold, but only some people in the story know it's a movie. Real weird. Into it.

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World: One of the best live action adaptations of a comic. Really dig the neon, video game style and the editing.

13 Assassins: 13 samurai are hired to take out a warlord. This movie is wild. It's 2 hours long and just builds and builds up to the 40 minute long, non stop action climax. I haven't seen anything like it and haven't seen anything like it since really. An impressively patient movie.

The Raid: Cops go into a building of criminals and they all fight. Some of the best fight choreography in cinema. It's a rush.

The Muppets: I like Muppets and it was good to see them all again. I thought this movie was very funny and sweet.

It's Such a Beautiful Day: An interesting animated film about a man's bizarre life and his place in the universe told in little vignettes. I'm big on the visuals and the dark humor.

Why Don't You Play in Hell?: Yakuza's decide to make a movie. Weird, violent hilarity ensues. Probably my favorite movie about making a movie. There's four story lines presented and they all come together with the joy of violence and film making. It comes off as so sincere, pure, inspiring, and heartfelt but is juxtaposed with wild violence. Like it.

The Grand Budapest Hotel: Might be my favorite Wes Anderson movie? I personally think it's his funniest. I like the art direction and the visual comedy of the movie. Really great stuff.

The Lego Movie: This could've been so bad but it wasn't and was way better than it needed to be. Really surprised by how funny it is and the animation in this is really crazy. I thought for like the first 15 minutes it was stop motion.

Colossal: Anne Hathaway controls a giant monster across the planet. I didn't expect to enjoy this movie as much as I did. Jason Sudeikis is really fantastic in this movie.

Guardians of the Galaxy 2: The best Marvel movie. It's impressive for a movie like this to have this many major characters and for all of them to have some sort of pay off. I'd say the most emotionally charged of the Marvel movies as well. It's really something special and I wonder if Guardians 3, or any other Marvel movie, will come close to this.

Logan Lucky: Ocean's Eleven but in the south. A really funny and clever heist movie. The acting and characters are great and what make it. I wouldn't mind seeing a sequel to this.

The Shape of Water: What a strange little love story with fish people. Really liked the look of the world and the fish guy. Michael Shannon is a great villain. Del Toro has a lot of great human villains.

Hereditary: A family comes to terms with a death in the family. The scariest and most emotionally brutal movie I've seen in a theater. Don't know if I'll ever watch it again but I really liked it. I know some people didn't think, horror wise, that it was anything special but subjectively hit every one of my branches on my subjective horror tree. Tony Collette should be recognized more for this.

Annihilation: A group of scientist travel into a weird space bubble in Florida. Stalker with monsters really. This movie really should've had more eyes on it. The pacing is great. The acting is pretty great. There's very weird, suspenseful moments. Four scientist female protagonists. Great effects and story. It's the dream of combining the spectacle of blockbusters with the character and emotion of more grounded movies. A beautiful middle ground.

Mission Impossible Fallout: Ethan Hunt does more impossible missions but all his shit doesn't work. One of the most impressive spectacle movies I've ever seen. The whole helicopter bit is a stand out for me.

They Shall Not Grow Old: The day in the life of a World War One soldier. An incredible documentary and a revolutionary step forward for film restoration. It's mind blowing to see the work that went into making look as good as it does. Highly recommend if you're into that sort of thing.

Booksmart: One of, if not, the best teen comedy I've seen. Great characters and humor. It's good to hear teenagers sound like teenagers.

Movies I should've watched and didn't:

Blade Runner 2049: I'll get around to it. Leave me alone. I'm lazy.

Sorry that this got long and congratulations if you made it this far. Also watch Tampopo. It came out in 1988 but I watched it in this decade and it's one of my favorite movies of all time now. Same for Zazie dans le Metro. Both terribly charming films. Can't remember if I first watched The Abominable Dr. Phibes this decade or not but I like that a whole bunch too. Watched Buckaroo Banzai in 2007 but it's still my all time favorite. Will always recommend that. Keep watching movies.

[montyrakusen]

Voices in the Wind, the Northern Isles of Shetland Part 3

I awoke one morning in someone else’s flat and I couldn’t remember how I got there. My friend, fellow art student, Ceri Herington Pritchard  https://ceripritchard.com/  decided we should go on an adventure.

"Let's go north" I said, and we did. We decided on Shetland, as it was as far north as we could think of going in the UK. It was October and cold, wintery, and Ceri let all the camping gas escape in Aberdeen before we had even got on the ferry. We didn’t have outdoor clothes like we have today. Ceri had a greatcoat and I had a tank driver's jacket, probably from the Korean war, that I’d stolen from the Combined Cadet Force at school.  

When we arrived in Lerwick we headed north striding out as fast as we could. They were building the Sullom Voe oil terminal and the flat barren wind-swept landscape was dotted with ex red London double decker buses ferrying workers to the construction site, the destination windows read, Moorgate, Archway, Liverpool Street Station and so forth. We walked in a huge cavernous world of clouds coming from Greenland rising in the west and falling in the east with the sun shining through, highlighting the ceiling of our world and at sunset looked like God had appeared. I fell in a bog then it rained and there was freezing fog then I fell in a bog again.

On the 5th of November we were probably two of Europe’s most northerly campers, at the most northerly point of Shetland, a place where giants fought over the love of a mermaid, near the remote island of Muckle Flugga. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muckle_Flugga

Miserable, with teeth chattering and wet feet, I wore all the clothes I possessed and had to get up at 3am to crack the ice off my tent. On another night because of a storm we slept in a cement store hut and upon waking covered in dust looked like ghosts. One night, camped on a windy beach we were kept awake by boulders rolling in the surf. It was always spine chillingly cold and was only relieved by whisky in friendly pubs that felt like someones front room and there was usually a fidler. These experiences only gave me a love for this beautiful and remote place in the middle of the North Sea.

Nowhere is more than a mile from the sea on Northern Shetland and it is almost tree-less. Small crofts are dotted here and there with flapping, coloured, washing drying on lines, fishing boats far out at sea and the smell of burning peat on the wind. In those days the place was littered with abandoned rusting vehicles and the sides of the roads were covered in empty beer cans with the smiling face of Venetia Stevenson looking up at us https://www.cannyscot.com/SweetheartStout.htm, people built walls from un-returnable beer barrels and crofts lay derelict. Later, I believe, a vicar ordered a ship to take all the scrap away. No matter what the weather there was always some hardy soul out in the landscape, a small moving dot in the distance digging the peat, driving the sheep, rowing a boat. If you listened carefully there were voices on the wind.

I loved this wonderful strange place and began to plan a photo documentary. I first returned and shot it in 35mm colour transparency with the hope of printing it up in Ciba Chrome of which I was a big fan. Unfortunately the processing lab put a scratch through every roll of film and in those days it was impossible to retouch.

Each year I would return, shooting medium format black and white first with Hasselblad and then later Rollie 6006/8 and I gradually built up a collection of images searching for the essence of the place. I became friends with people there, the local doctor from Mid Yell and some people who looked after otters. They recognised me in the pubs.

Some years I walked the islands, some years I took my blue Landrover with its home made stereo and two cassettes that I bought in Aberdeen, The Smiths, Meat is Murder and Elvis Costello, Almost Blue. I drove around in the simmer dim the grey evening light, eventually knowing both albums by heart. The RAF invited me to their mid-summer beach party, it never got dark and in the morning I was dive bombed by bonxsies, mad sea birds, as I staggered around the landscape looking for fresh water. I fell in a bog again.

I was befriended by people who fed me boiled ham and potatoes, plied me with drink and had me shoot shotguns at empty cans thrown in the air. “Just mind the sheep, lad”. Coming out of the most northerly pub at half past eleven at night with the sun still shining in my eyes I stepped onto a Norwegian Trawler and got caught up in a fight. We sat in the mess as they fought round and round on the tables and each time they came past we clutched our drinks to our chests.

The photography project ran out of steam, my life had changed, I was busy at work, until Lizzie encouraged me to finish it and we travelled back there together to see Up Helly Aa, the ceremonial burning of the Viking longship https://www.uphellyaa.org/ and to show my work in progress to Shetland Arts with a view to exhibiting it. We stayed in Mid Yell in the snow with 125mph winds full of ice. Huge squalls blew in from the ocean flying low, dropping ice into the waves. When we were in Lerwick we were guests of the head of the Jarl squad, the viking leader of Up Helly Aa, a tremendous honour.

In the early morning, whilst he slept, we secretly tried on his Viking gear. I always felt welcome there and people were kind. An exhibition was arranged in Lerwick, British Airways helped me fly it up and then it travelled all over Scotland. I was interviewed by a lovely lady with small round John Lennon Spectacles from Radio Shetland, only problem was I could hardly understand a word she said. The exhibition opening was very well attended from islands far and wide, made more impressive by the fact no one could get back home to their islands until the ferries restarted in the morning. I felt proud when they said I had shown their home to them in a different way.

Text edit: John Coombes Encouragement: Liz Rakusen

[claudia1829things]

"TITANIC" (1953) Review

"TITANIC" (1953) Review As many moviegoers know, there have been numerous film and television productions about the maiden voyage and sinking of the R.M.S. Titanic on April 15, 1912. The most famous production happens to be James Cameron's 1997 Oscar winning opus. However, I do wonder if there are any fans who are aware that another Titanic movie managed to strike Oscar gold.

Directed by Jean Negulesco, the 1953 movie "TITANIC" focused on the personal lives of a wealthy American family torn asunder by marital strife, a deep secret and the historic sinking of the Titanic. Family matriarch Mrs. Julia Sturges and her two children, 17 year-old Annette and 10 year-old Norman board the R.M.S. Titanic in Cherbourg, France. Julia hopes to remove her children from the influence of a privileged European lifestyle embraced by her husband Richard and raise them in her hometown of Mackinac, Michigan. Unfortunately, Richard gets wind of their departure and manages to board the Titanic at the last moment by purchasing a steerage ticket from a Basque immigrant and intercept his family. The Sturges family also meet other passengers aboard ship: *20 year-old Purdue University tennis player Gifford Rogers, who falls for Annette *the wealthy middle-aged Maude Young (based upon Molly Brown) *a social-climbing snob named Earl Meeker *a priest named George S. Healey, who has been defrocked for alcoholism *American businessman John Jacob Astor IV and his second wife Madeleine Julia and Richard clash over the future of their children during the voyage. Their conflict is reinforced by Annette's budding romance with college student Gifford Rogers and a dark secret revealed by Julia. But the couple's conflict eventually takes a back seat after the Titanic strikes an iceberg during the last hour of April 14, 1912. There seemed to be a habit among moviegoers lately to judge historical dramas more on their historical accuracy than on the story. As a history buff, I can understand this penchant. But I am also a fan of fiction - especially historical fiction. And I learned a long time ago that when writing a historical drama, one has to consider the story and the character over historical accuracy. If the latter gets in the way of the story . . . toss it aside. It is apparent that screenwriters Charles Brackett (who also served as producer), Richard L. Breen and Walter Reisch did just that when they created the screenplay for "TITANIC". Any history buff about the famous White Star liner's sinking would be appalled at the amount of historical accuracy in this movie. However, I feel that many lovers of period drama would be more than satisfied with "TITANIC", thanks to a well-written personal story and top-notch direction by Jean Negulesco. Superficially, "TITANIC" is a melodrama about the disintegration of a late 19th century/early 20th century marriage. The marital discord between Julia and Richard Sturges is filled with personality clashes, class warfare, disappointment and betrayal. And actors Barbara Stanwyck and Clifton Webb did their very best to make the clash of wills between husband and wife fascinating and in the end . . . poignant. One of the movie's best scenes featured a confession from one spouse about a past discretion. I am not claiming that the scene was particularly original. But I cannot deny that thanks to stellar performances from Stanwyck and Webb, I believe it was one of the best moments of melodrama I have ever seen on screen . . . period. But their final scene together, during the Titanic's sinking, turned out to be one of the most poignant for me. And by the way, fans of the 1997 movie would not be hard pressed to recognize one of Webb's lines in the film . . . a line that also ended up in Cameron's movie. "TITANIC" featured other subplots that allowed the supporting cast to shine. Audrey Dalton portrayed Julia and Richard's oldest offspring, the beautiful 17 year-old Annette, who had become enamored of her father's penchant for European high society. Dalton did an excellent job of slowly transforming Annette from the shallow socialite wannabe to the shy and naturally charming young woman who has become more interested in enjoying her youth. And the character's transformation came about from her budding friendship and romance with the gregarious Gifford Rogers. Robert Wagner seemed a far cry from the sophisticated man that both moviegoers and television viewers have come to know. His Gifford is young, friendly and open-hearted. Wagner made it easier for moviegoers to see why Annette fell for him and Julia found him likeable. However, I was not that enthusiastic about his singing. Harper Carter did an excellent job of holding his own against the likes of Stanwyck, Webb and Dalton as the Sturges' son Norman. In fact, I found him very believable as the 10 year-old boy eager to maintain his father's interest without accepting the snobbery that marked Annette's personality. Perhaps he was simply too young. The movie's screenplay also featured a subplot involving a young priest named George Healey, who dreaded his return to the U.S. and facing his family with the shameful news of his defrocking. Thanks to Richard Basehart's subtle, yet sardonic performance, I found myself feeling sympathetic toward his plight, instead of disgusted by his alcoholism. Thelma Ritter gave her usual top-notch performance as the sarcastic noveau riche Maude Young. Allyn Joslyn was amusing as the social-climbing card shark, Earl Meeker. And Brian Aherne's portrayal of the Titanic's doomed captain, was not only subtle, but he also kept the character from wallowing into some kind of second-rate nobility that usually makes my teeth hurt. For a movie that did not have James Cameron's advantages of creating the technical effects of the 1997 movie, "TITANIC" proved to be an attractive looking movie. Production manager Joseph C. Behm and his team did a solid job of re-creating life aboard an ocean liner, circa 1912. Behm was also assisted by costume designer Dorothy Jeakins, Don B. Greenwood's art department, Maurice Ransford and Oscar winner Lyle R. Wheeler's art directions, and Stuart A. Reiss' set decorations. Although the movie did not feature an accurate re-creation of the Titanic's sinking, I have to admit that visually, the special effects created by a team team led by Ray Kellogg were very impressive, especially for 1953. They were ably assisted Joseph MacDonald's black-and-white photography and Louis R. Loeffler's editing. Earlier in this review, I pointed out that James Cameron's 1997 film was not the only one about the Titanic that struck Oscar gold. Although "TITANIC" did not win eleven Academy Awards, it was nominated for two Oscars and won a single one - namely a Best Original Screenplay award for Brackett, Breen and Reisch. But despite an award winning script, a superb cast led by Barbara Stanwyck and Clifton Webb and a first-rate production team, "TITANIC" still could have ended in disaster. But it had the good luck to have an excellent director like Jean Negulesco at the helm.

[srona58]

Between Heaven and Hell

Random Pepperony one shot, Tony POV, post A4. Sorry in advance!

ALSO ON WATTPAD, FANFICTION.NET, AND AO3 under name SRona58. Please do not steal or copy without permissions. Disclaimer: I do not claim anything of Marvel or Iron Man.

Based off of Boss Logic's new fan edit shown below (PLEASE CREDIT HIM FOR PHOTO IF USED!)

Photo Credit: Boss Logic

It had to be done.  14,000,605 outcomes and only one would be successful.  But no one told me that one outcome would end in me leaving her.

Pepper.  The one I can't stop staring at.  Standing in her blue dress, the same one she wore the night I fell in love with her...though I didn't tell her that then.  Her hair in the same ocean waves, like fire over her shoulders.  God, it's really been eleven years since I last saw her like this?

Honestly I don't know if 'this' is even real.  It could be fake, could be my imagination. A figment of bent reality.  Everything seemed to blur together after I reversed things, anyway, and I don't know how I wound up here, back in the lab at the compound, no suit...just my usual Black Sabbath shirt and a black jacket over top.  And...no arc...

Anyway, I'm rambling... Here she is, my fiance, my strength, the only person to ever understand me...

She's staring at the suits, her back turned to me as she picks up one of the helmets off of the Mark 47 unit that's since been retired...obsolete next to the nanotech.  Her hands shake, though, and I start to panic.

"Pep?  Hey, you okay?" I ask, reaching out.

But she doesn't answer.

"Hey, you mad at me or somethin?" I ask next as she sets it down on the ground with some struggle.  "You know I had to go, and the kid snuck on board, but everything's okay now, and..."

But she's unresponsive, pressing the side triggers and suddenly, there's a blue light illuminating the dark space, drowing her in a color just lighter than her dress.

"Pepper?"

And then it shapes into a firgure...my figure.  Me from that banquet.  My hair was longer then, my beard darker, before the grays set in...  And that tux has since been donated somewhere, but clearly she remembers the sentiment of that night, too...even if I left her on that rooftop.

"Tony..." she sighs, and then her hands raise and settle on her stomach and...

"Pep, you said we weren't-" I start, heart hurting at this sudden news, but then my own voice interrupts and speaks over me as if I'm not even here.

"Pepper," is all that hologram greets with.

Though it's pretty monotone, I see that same care in the fake Tony's eyes that I've look at her with too many times.  The softness that tells her I love her without speaking words.

"How are you feeling today?" it speaks next, and I realize it must be me...in an AI form; she must've programmed me like I had Jarvis...but why?

"Nervous..." she sighs, looking down at her swollen belly.  "Less than a month now."

"You'll do great," the AI tries to assure her.

And then a tear stains her cheek but she doesn't look up, and her voice is cracked and raw when she speaks again.

"I'm so scared, Tony..."

"Don't be," fake me answers calmly, stepping forward until her bump is just inches away.  "She'll be perfect. She'll love her mother with everything she has. Just like her dad did."

Did?!

"Pep, I'm right here," I try again, but she's since turned her head away, not wanting to look at either of us.

"I miss you so much, Stark..." she manages, and I can hear the crying in her voice.  "You should be here...not, not this...this program..."

"I'm right here, Pepper.  Remember?" the AI offers, but she snaps her head up, glaring at it.

"You're not my Tony," she cries.  "Our Tony."

"I'm the same as living Tony was.  You designed me to be."

"How?!" she chokes out.  "You're just another bot, not the real thing.  The real thing's gone...and he's not coming back."

And then it hits me.  The flashing images of the stones.  Of time being altered, of that portal they called the quantum realm.  Of having to choose - them or me.  And the ultimate sacrifice for the rest of the world to live...for her to live; myself.

I left her.  Killed myself without going back to see her.  My last words being that broken up apology to her from somewhere in the air above New York.  But it's the only way she would live.

I'm just a wandering ghost, I guess.  Is that actually something that happens?  Apparently.  But why?  Why do I need to see this?  This pain, this heartbreak...  How could I have chose differently and not had it be the selfish choice?

And I didn't even know she was pregnant.  She told me no.  And now I'll never get to marry her.  I'll never see the birth of our child or know what Morgan grows up to be.

And Pepper...God, Pepper can't stand to be alone so she made me come back, in some shape or form.  And I can see how desperately she wants to touch...well, me.  Hug me, have my hands on her stomach, anything.  But that AI isn't solid.  It can't soothe her fears or make her laugh like I used to.  It doesn't have the ability to love, it doesn't share our history, our memoeries...  It doesn't know how long it took me to realize I loved her or how many times I had to ask her to marry me before she finally agreed to take my sorry ass back.  It'll never hug her or finally put that wedding ring on her finger or hold our baby girl.  It's just a place holder...a computer, my personality stripped from my body.

"You knew what you were doing and you let them convince you to take your life!" she yells, suddenly kicking the helmet, simultaneously shutting off the hologram as it bounces off the wall.  "Do you hear me, Anthony, you coward?!  I hate you, I hate you...I...I love you, you big idiot, and you'll never even know that you're a father..."

And then she sinks down to her knees, holding her stomach as she ducks her head and hides her face under her hair.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I ask softly, knowing it's not going to matter; she can't hear me.

"You got what you wanted..." she whispers through her long curls and those bangs I always used to brush from her eyes.  "You don't have to worry about failing Morgan...and you're a hero to the rest of the world.  I hope you're happy..."

She takes a deep breath and I can't move...I can't stomach this.

"Are you happy, wherever you are?" she whispers.

And now I realize we're both stuck somewhere between heaven and hell, in this place where I can't stand to leave her and never see her again, and she can't let go.

"Yes," I finally settle on, knowing I'm only lying to myself.  "Because you and our daughter will live, and that's worth more than my life ever did."