#of course I’m mentioned twice in the top 20 list

[blitheringmcgonagall]

Canon James Potter on hearing his name is linked to two ships in ao3’s top 20 ships for 2023 (no 8 and no 18):

Canon James Potter on hearing the most popular of the two is him & Sirius’ Deater baby brother Reggie:

[newmusickarl]

Best Live Shows of 2023

In the age of streaming and with ever-mounting logistical cost pressures, it is more important than ever to go support the bands you love by catching their live show and, if you can, pick up a record or some merchandise whilst you’re there.

Of course, the price of live music itself for the average fan is going up too, with £100+ tickets for stadium/arena shows and £40+ tickets for academy shows, quickly becoming the norm. That said, if you look beyond the household names selling through Ticketmaster’s exploitive dynamic pricing system, you can still find plenty of great acts playing live shows for £10-£20. So, if you find yourself constantly being priced out of the large stadium shows, why not spend that money on five grassroots shows instead – you may just find your next favourite artist in the process!

As for myself, I live for live music and by avoiding those top tier tickets and focussing on cost-effective festivals and shows with great line-ups, I’ve packed in more live music in 2023 than I ever have in my life. Including festival performances and warm-up acts, I’m grateful to have caught 127 performances in 2023, hopefully helping in some small way to support the artists and up-and-coming acts I adore.

With that mass of live music, it’s been hard to whittle this down to just my 10 favourites. So, in true New Music Weekly fashion of avoiding difficult decisions and leaving stuff out, firstly here’s the honourable mentions in chronological order:

Honourable mentions:

Foals at Engine Rooms, Southampton, May

Simply one of my all-time favourite bands at the peak of their powers, in the smallest venue I’ve ever seen them play (800 cap). Biblical!

Opus Kink at Dot-to-Dot Festival, Nottingham, May

The annual “get-me-in-that-pit” performance at Dot-to-Dot festival, proving I’m not too old yet for at least one moshing session per annum. Just like Bob Vylan the year before, my friendship group approached the ska-punk outfit with trepidation, but all ended up fans by the end of the set.

Mickey Callisto at Dot-to-Dot Festival, Nottingham, May

Imagine Freddie Mercury’s Live Aid performance, but in a tiny loft venue – that is essentially what synth-pop superstar Mickey Callisto delivered at Dot-to-Dot festival this year. Next level showmanship and an electric end to the day’s proceedings.

Swim Deep at Rescue Rooms, Nottingham, June

The Brummie indie darlings celebrated 10 years of Where The Heaven Are We this summer, performing one of my all-time favourite albums in full. They also played the ever-magnificent King City twice in the career-spanning set!

Young Fathers at Best Kept Secret Festival, Beekse Bergen, June

The band that have defined 2023 for me, it seemed like much of the audience in the tent with me at Best Kept Secret were catching the Scottish trio for the first time and weren’t sure what to expect. The result was a truly mind-blowing performance, with the energy from the stage radiating around the tent to the point of elation and thunderous applause by the end of the set.

Watch Young Fathers at Best Kept Secret 2023 here

The War On Drugs at The Piece Hall, Halifax, June

American rockers The War On Drugs performing anywhere would probably be enough to get a mention here, such is their stature as a live force. However, with support from Warpaint, a euphoric rendition of Under The Pressure and the gig itself taking place in the beautiful surroundings of the Grade I Listed Piece Hall, outdoor summer shows don’t get much better.

Confidence Man at Splendour Festival, Nottingham, July

When you need a lift during a washed-out festival, get Confidence Man to save the day. Having waited a long time to see them perform live, the Aussie dance outfit didn’t disappoint as the sun cleared just in time for their dazzling half hour of power. Immaculate choreography and joyous vibes aplenty!

Walt Disco at Rescue Rooms, Nottingham, September

A special shout-out to Walt Disco, who supported Nation of Language at their Rescue Rooms show in September. They are my pick for the best warm-up act of the year, with their David Bowie-inspired dramatics and glam rock chic leaving me eager to catch them again in the future.

Read the full review for both Walt Disco and Nation of Language here

Don Broco at O2 Academy Leicester, Leicester, December

Genre-bending heroes Don Broco are one of the most fun live acts around and even with a neck brace leaving frontman Rob Damiani more restricted than usual, they still blew the roof off. Usually not a fan of O2 Academy venues, this was also one of the better ones I’ve visited and it all just made for a great Saturday night.

Jadu Heart at JT Soar, Nottingham, December

My final show of 2023 and easily one of the most magical of the year. Performing in JT Soar which is an old garage turned Sleaford Mods’ recording studio, electro-folk outfit Jadu Heart brought string-tinged beauty and festive spirit to the intimate space. With only around 30 people in attendance and the bargain price of just £5 for the ticket, it was capped off with a pair of singalongs to Christmas classics Happy Xmas (War Is Over) and Fairytale of New York.

Read the full review for LeftLion here

That’s the honourable mentions then, now onto the main event – out of the 120+ performances I’ve seen in 2023, these are the ten that ended up leaving the biggest impression.

Top 10 Live Shows of 2023

10. The 1975 at Motorpoint Arena, Nottingham, January

One of the most discussed arena tours of the year, The 1975 kicked 2023 off with a spectacle. Split into two parts, the first half covered their latest album, Being Funny In A Foreign Language, and then the second half was just wall-to-wall greatest hits with 10,000 people losing their minds. Add in some unique staging and some surreal, theatrical interludes, it made for one of the most memorable arena gigs of the year. In fact it was so good, we’ve already booked to see The 1975 Still At Their Very Best in 2024, this time over in Brussels.

If you’re intrigued to see the show for yourself, their Madison Square Garden performance is streaming on YouTube and Amazon – check it out below.

Watch it here

Stream the live album here

9. The Lottery Winners at Rock City, Nottingham, November

Sometimes the best gigs are the ones that come along and surprise you. With support act Deco a favourite in our household and having seen indie-pop outfit Lottery Winners once previously at 110 Above festival, this one was booked purely on the basis that it looked like a fun Saturday night. Add in up-and-coming Notts rockers The Publics, you’ve got three quality bands at Rock City for £18. However, what I didn’t expect, was this show to be as life-affirming as it ended up being.

For context, once upon a time Lottery Winners were due to support Embrace at Rock City only to be dropped when Embrace feared The Lottery Winners would receive a bigger reception than them. So finally getting the opportunity to play the iconic stage where legends such as David Bowie and Nirvana have played before, you could see The Lottery Winners were putting everything into the performance. The fact I didn’t really know a single song of The Lottery Winners didn’t matter at all either. With plenty of laugh-out-loud, inter-song banter, some thunderous crowd singalongs and the band themselves in genuine tears at certain points in the set, it was just an incredible, emotionally uplifting night.

8. ROB GREEN at Rescue Rooms, Nottingham, February / ROB GREEN at Hockley Hustle Festival, Nottingham, October

Yes, I’m cheating again! But twice I saw Notts’ soul/pop artist ROB GREEN in 2023 and both were magical in their own unique way - so it was impossible to separate them.

Back at Hockley Hustle festival in October 2022, I saw Rob play an acoustic set that just completely blew me away. Having heard only positive things about him up until that point but not knowing too much about his music beyond that, it was one of those performances where I went in with not too much expectation of what I was going to hear, and then left just in complete awe of what I had just experienced. It was a borderline spiritual experience at times, with Rob’s mix of spoken word poetry and gospel-inspired singalongs just captivating and immensely uplifting.

So fast forward to February this year and I finally got to see Rob perform with a full live band setup. However, thanks to the utter jubilance from the crowd, his impressive backing vocalists and immensely talented band, it just amplified that feeling from Hockley Hustle 2022 tenfold. With my whole immediate family in attendance with me too to celebrate my mum’s birthday, it made it even more special.

Fast forward again to Hockley Hustle 2023 and Rob somehow managed to top his 2022 performance by pulling in a string quartet to perform alongside him. Here’s what I said in my review for LeftLion:

“Performing in the corner of Broadway Cinema’s café with the Rob Rosa String Quartet accompanying him, people are literally queueing at the door to catch even the smallest glimpse of his incredible thirty-minute set. And rightfully so, as the enigmatic performer has this unrivalled ability to bring immeasurable positive energy to a room and leave the audience sitting on Cloud Nine. Storming through performances of early singles Life Goes on and Sleeping on My Own, Rob gets noticeably emotional when the crowd singalong with recent single from his forthcoming EP, I’ll Be Around. “It’s so good to be back in NG1,” he exclaims, with the Nottingham faithful grateful to have him back. He then ends as he always does with a joyously euphoric medley of classic covers, leaving the crowd in Broadway Cinema fully uplifted and proving once again why he’s the best live performer in Nottingham.”

Read the full LeftLion roundup of Hockley Hustle 2023 here

7. Spector at Rescue Rooms, Nottingham, December

A band that have defined the last 10 years of my life but most definitely the last two months of my 2023, Spector delivered one of the best albums of their career to date in November with Here Come The Early Nights. Eager to hear the new songs from that record live, I headed down to Rescue Rooms to catch them for the third time in that venue, for the sixth time in Nottingham and for the tenth time in total! With fierce competition from their past selves, Spector pulled out all the stops and delivered a rip-roaring set that packed in so many anthems, I lost my voice completely from all the singing along.

Of course, it may be recency bias but for me this was right up there as one of the best performances I’ve seen from them over the years. It just further cemented why they are one of my favourite bands and also one of the best bands to see perform live. If you want all the details from the night, you can read my review for LeftLion below.

Read the full review for LeftLion here

6. The Chemical Brothers at First Direct Arena, Leeds, October

The legendary Chemical Brothers were another band that I saw live twice in 2023, however as fantastic as they were at Best Kept Festival over the summer, their own arena show in October was just the next level up.

If you’ve not had the pleasure of seeing Ed Simons and Tom Rowlands before, let me assure you they put on one of the best live shows on the planet, especially in an arena setting. The hypnotic, mind-melting visuals they put together to accompany their set is just like no other, in addition to all the big production tricks like confetti, lasers, giant balloons and even massive robots too.

However, all of that will only get you so far, you still need the bangers to back it up. Thankfully with a career-spanning 30+ years they have them in abundance and their setlist in Leeds was near faultless. A lot of cuts from their 2023 album For That Beautiful Feeling were included with Goodbye in particular standing out, as well as all the classics you’d want to hear such as Galvanize, Go, Hey Boy Hey Girl and Block Rockin’ Beats. They even had space for one of my all-time favourite songs, Wide Open. Probably the best show from them of the five times I’ve seen them and easily one of my favourite arena gigs of the year.

5. Oscar and the Wolf at Best Kept Secret Festival, Beekse Bergen, June

When you travel to another country and spend hundreds of pounds on a festival for one particular artist, it’s important they deliver. Sure, Best Kept Secret had a phenomenal line-up this year that also boasted The Chemical Brothers, The 1975, Aphex Twin, Young Fathers, Caroline Polachek, Christine & The Queens, Nation of Language, Arlo Parks, Billy Nomates, Interpol and so many more, so I would have gotten the value anyway. But Best Kept Secret Festival was really all about seeing one man – Max Colombie AKA Oscar and the Wolf.

You see having discovered Oscar and the Wolf at Dot-to-Dot festival in 2015, his music instantly resonated with me and he quickly became a favourite of mine. The issue is the Belgian indie-pop superstar isn’t really known here in the UK. So, whenever I have been able to see him live over the years since, it’s been in quiet festival slots with short sets and a small crowd who aren’t familiar with his output. So, when choosing a festival to attend in 2023, we chose Best Kept Secret for one key reason – Oscar and the Wolf was headlining it.

You see whilst the UK hasn’t caught on to Max Colombie’s talents, over in Europe he is a headline act on the level Muse, Liam Gallagher, Arctic Monkeys, etc. So having decided on Best Kept Secret over Rock Werchter as it looked less commercial and a much more manageable capacity, we ventured to the Netherlands to catch Oscar and the Wolf live with a crowd of 20,000 and, importantly, one which knew the words to all of his songs.

And with that massive expectation on it, Max and his band still managed to exceed all expectations to deliver a dazzling Saturday evening performance. Full of brain-melting guitar solos, a flawless setlist, Max’s own incredible vocals and all the big production tricks, it was everything I hoped for when booking the festival. To finally see one of my favourite artists with a crowd deserving of his music, it was such a special moment.

If you’re intrigued to see more and want an introduction to Max’s output, you can watch a 30-minute snippet of his performance from Best Kept Secret below.

Watch Oscar and the Wolf at Best Kept Secret here

4. Stevie Nicks at T-Mobile Arena, Las Vegas, March

It is very rare I get to tick off two bucket list items, let alone two in a single week. But earlier this year, I was fortunate enough to travel over to Las Vegas for work, a place I had always wanted to visit. Whilst I didn’t get to see everything in the short time I was there, I did have enough free time to get a flavour of the one-of-a-kind city. Of course, seeing a show is a must out there and when looking at what was on, I noticed that none other than music legend Stevie Nicks was in town for one night only. Biting the bullet on a last-minute ticket, whilst I will never get to see Fleetwood Mac perform live, I was fortunate to catch Stevie that night – which feels like the next best thing.

The production of the stage was utterly entrancing, with montages and artistic visuals projected on the screens behind her throughout. Her voice sounded as good as ever even at 74 too, with the live band playing alongside her also fantastic. Playing through all the classics from both her solo career and time in Fleetwood Mac, it made for a really special show. It also ended on quite an emotional note, as Stevie paid tribute to both Tom Petty and Christine McVie in the encore. Performing Free Falling and Landslide to round it off, she was noticeably moved following her performance of the latter.

I feel incredibly lucky to have had the chance to experience that, seeing a genuine musical legend on the opposite side of the world. One of the defining highlights of my 2023 and a moment I truly will never forget.

3. Self Esteem at Eventim Apollo, London, March

These days, the performance happening on stage is only 50% of what makes a good show. If you get the wrong crowd of people more interested in getting pissed or talking through the set, then you can quickly end up distracted during key moments. But for the final stop on Self Esteem’s Prioritise Pleasure UKtour at the Hammersmith Apollo, the entire audience were there for one thing and one thing only – a performance from Rebecca Lucy Taylor.

Off the back of a huge breakout year following the success of Prioritise Pleasure, this one felt like a victory lap as the crowd erupted into thunderous ovation after every single song. The production of the show itself was incredible too, from the dazzling choreography and vocal performances to the impressive costume changes and staging. It felt like an arena-level pop show but with the intimacy of an academy venue, just the best of both worlds.

The biggest testament I can give it though is what I touched on at the start. A lot of shows I’ve been to post-COVID, when it comes time for the acoustic songs they are sadly often spoilt now by crowd chatter, with people’s loud conversations disrupting these intimate moments. That didn’t happen with Self Esteem, as at one point she took centre stage just her and a guitar to perform her track John Elton and honestly you couldn’t hear a pin drop. Instead, everyone just stood in awe and respectfully engaged with what they were witnessing on the stage.

I said back in March this was one of the best shows I’ve ever had the privilege of seeing and I think I stand by that. An unbelievably special night thanks to a respectful crowd and an artist right at the top of their game.

2. Creeper at Rock City, Nottingham, November

Speaking of one of the best shows I’ve ever seen, I think it’s well documented at this point just how blown away I was seeing Creeper at Rock City last month. The only other time I had seen the Southampton-hailing goth-rockers previously was years ago at Slam Dunk festival and I’ll be honest, their show didn’t leave much of an impression on me at that time. However, with this performance coming less than a month since the release of their operatic third album Sanguivore, which I had been playing constantly, it seemed like the perfect storm for a special night – and my assumptions were correct.

Here's what I said in my review for LeftLion:

“Bringing with them a uniquely theatrical live show unlike any I saw in 2023, it was full of dramatic production, crowd surfers, circle pits, plenty of monstrous riffs and a faultless setlist. The moment of the night however came in the form of a stunning rendition of debut album favourite, Misery. Driving home the special connection Creeper have with their fans, phone torches were switched on and several audience members climbed onto shoulders to emotionally sing along with frontman, Will Gould. As the song reached its peak, Will didn’t even have to say a word or move a muscle - the crowd just instinctively belted out the song’s gut-punching refrain. A beautifully powerful moment and one of the most spine-tingling I’ve ever experienced inside that venue. With red confetti then shooting out of cannons onstage during the triumphant closing performance of 2023 single Cry To Heaven, it was a suitably mind-blowing finish to a truly mind-blowing rock show.”

See LeftLion’s full list of Best Gigs of 2023 here

Read my LeftLion review for Creeper at Rock City here

1. James at Northern Echo Arena, Darlington, August / James at Royal Concert Hall, Nottingham, October

So here we are at my favourite live show of 2023 and guess what – I’ve cheated again. Here we have two shows that both had the recipe for an all-timer - one of my favourite bands of all-time, one of the best live acts in the country and a band with 40+ years of exceptional music in their catalogue. Funnily enough, all three of those ingredients are Mancunian indie legends, James.

I saw James twice in 2023 and what has landed them in the top spot is the fact that each time I saw them this year, they delivered a unique experience. Each of these gigs, one in Darlington and one in Nottingham, offered something completely different from the other but ended up equally as sensational for their own reasons.

The first in Darlington was just the perfect line up in the most perfect setting. An August summer’s day with three of my favourite bands on the bill together – Maximo Park, Editors and James. The venue was a decent-sized Rugby stadium, but rather than having the whole thing open, the stage was to one side of the pitch, with one side of seating open and then the pitch the standing area – so it was set up more like a bowl than an open stadium.

What worked perfectly was the fact that although we had booked seats, we didn’t have to stay in them all day. We could sit in the seats and chill for the support, make use of the toilets and quieter bars etc. but then when we wanted to go have a dance and get into the mix, we could walk down onto the pitch and join the standing crowd. This is the first gig I’ve been to with that set up and it just added to the whole experience.

In terms of the bands themselves though, it was just a fantastic day of music. Even before the trio of Maximo Park, Editors and James, you had shoegazers Pale Blue Eyes, up-and-comers The Kairos and 00s indie outfit The Pigeon Detectives, who in particular were much better than I expected. Then as fantastic as Maximo Park and Editors were, it really was all about James who just reaffirmed to me why they’re one of my favourite bands. Ploughing through the hits as the sun was setting, Tim Booth wandering gracefully through the crowd and the band on stage sounding so effortlessly tight-knit, just like a band who have been playing together for 40 years should sound. It may have been the booze, it may have been the life-defining songs, it may well have been a bit of both – but I’m not ashamed to say I was near tears at a couple of points. Just magical.

If that wasn’t enough, I would see them again a few months later at Nottingham Royal Concert Hall, this time backed by a full choir and orchestra. Having had the devastation of the cancellation back in April, after waiting over a decade for them to repeat their 2011 orchestral tour, this was a rescheduled show I had been waiting a long, long time to see. And boy was it worth the wait.

Playing some of my favourite deep cuts that I would never get to hear in a normal set like Space, Alaskan Pipeline, Ten Below and Someone’s Got It In For Me, but then with the strings and extra voices accompanying them too, it just amplified their already world class live show to another level. With goosebump-inducing singalongs to Many Faces and Sometimes also throughout the night, this was another special gig that I’ll remember for a long time.

So there you have it, my favourite shows of 2023. Just one final part of my New Music Weekly awards still left to come and it’s a big one – my Top 100 Songs of 2023 playlist.

It’ll be dropping soon so keep your eyes peeled and thanks for following along so far!

[the-rewatch-rewind]

New episode!

Script below the break

Hello and welcome back to The Rewatch Rewind! My name is Jane, and this is the podcast where I count down my top 40 most frequently rewatched movies in the 20 years from 2003 through 2022. Today I will be discussing number 27 on my list: MGM’s 1949 courtroom comedy Adam’s Rib, directed by George Cukor, written by Ruth Gordon and Garson Kanin, and starring Spencer Tracy, Katharine Hepburn, and Judy Holliday.

When housewife Doris Attinger (Judy Holliday) shoots her husband Warren (Tom Ewell) at the home of his lover Beryl Caighn (Jean Hagen), assistant district attorney Adam Bonner (Spencer Tracy) is assigned to prosecute her. Adam’s wife, defense attorney Amanda (Katharine Hepburn) is moved by Doris’s story and fed up with the double standard for men and women regarding adultery, so she decides to represent her. The tension in the courtroom leads to tension at home between the Bonners, which is further strained by their neighbor Kip (David Wayne), a musician who is very openly interested in Amanda.

I think this was the first Spencer Tracy/Katharine Hepburn movie I watched, but it was the sixth that they made together, out of nine total. Somehow this is the only one to make it into my top 40, although Pat and Mike was very close, with 14 views. Both Adam’s Rib and Pat and Mike were written specifically for Tracy and Hepburn, who were together in real life, by their friends Ruth Gordon and Garson Kanin, who were married to each other, so it’s unsurprising that the stars and the scripts were perfectly suited for each other. And yes, I am talking about the same Ruth Gordon who was also an actress and won an Oscar for being delectably creepy in Rosemary’s Baby. Looking back on my viewing history of Adam’s Rib is very interesting to me: I watched it twice in 2003, once in 2004, and three times in 2005, then took a fairly long break and saw it again in 2009, then 2011, then another break until 2016, and then I watched it twice in 2018, once in 2019, once in 2020, twice in 2021, and three times in 2022. So I watched it a lot soon after I started keeping track, then hardly revisited it at all until the last five years I was tracking, when I watched it a lot again. This wasn’t a conscious decision so I’m not sure exactly why it happened, but I do know that there are things I appreciate about it now that I didn’t quite catch when I was younger, and I think I needed some time away from it to realize that.

There are two main reasons I enjoy this movie. One is that it’s very entertaining and funny, and the other is that it’s fascinating from a historical socio-political perspective. When I was younger, I mainly focused on the first reason, but more recently the second reason has particularly compelled me to keep rewatching. I’m definitely still there for the comedy though. Some of it is broad and over-the-top, such as the scene when a witness, who is also a female weightlifter, picks up Adam in the courtroom and lifts him over her head, but most of it is more understated. As I mentioned at the end of last episode, I’m pretty sure my favorite part of the whole movie is when Beryl Caighn is on the stand and says she heard a noise, and when Adam asks her to clarify what kind of a noise, she pauses for a moment and replies, “Like a sound.” That is so perfectly tailored to my sense of humor that I can’t believe that my parents weren’t even alive when it was written. Also I would like to acknowledge that this was Jean Hagen’s film debut, and while she doesn’t have much screentime, every moment of her performance is gold. (Jean Hagen is, of course, best remembered for playing Lina Lamont in Singin’ in the Rain three years later.)

Adam’s Rib was also an important steppingstone in Judy Holliday’s career. She was starring in Born Yesterday on Broadway (which was also written by Garson Kanin) but was relatively unknown in Hollywood and was initially not considered for the film adaptation. Her performance in Adam’s Rib convinced the producer of Born Yesterday to give her a screen test, and she ultimately got the part and won an Oscar for it. Katharine Hepburn in particular worked hard to get her recognized, asking director George Cukor to focus more on Holliday than on her in their shared scenes, and then leaking stories to the press about how Holliday’s performance was so fabulous it stole the spotlight from her and Spencer Tracy. This behavior is particularly surprising from Katharine Hepburn if you recall how competitive and envious she was when working with Ginger Rogers in Stage Door. Clearly she was far more mature and self-assured at this point in her career than she had been 12 years earlier. And she was also correct: Judy Holliday gave a fabulous performance in Adam’s Rib, and nobody else could have played her role as well as she did in Born Yesterday. She had such perfect comedic timing. My second favorite part of Adam’s Rib, after the “noise like a sound” exchange, is when Amanda is interviewing Doris in jail – which was the main scene that convinced the producer of Born Yesterday to consider casting Judy Holliday. The way Holliday just keeps talking every time Hepburn thinks she’s finished and is about to say something is brilliantly done. Apparently Holliday was trembling because she was so nervous to be working with Hepburn, but she managed to turn that into part of her character and it works perfectly. That scene also features Eve March as Amanda’s secretary Grace, whose snide remarks greatly add to the humor as well. Watching these three women masterfully turning a serious situation into comedy never gets old.

The character I’ve changed my mind about the most over the years is the neighbor Kip, played by David Wayne. Kip is the kind of guy who clearly thinks he’s the funniest person in the room, and when I watched this movie in my early teens, I was inclined to agree with him. I enjoyed his antics, and I felt bad for him when Adam was mean to him. But as I continued to rewatch this movie, he started to irritate me, and now I can barely stand him. Granted, I do still enjoy his song “Farewell Amanda,” which in real life was written by Cole Porter, although the way he just casually walks into a married couple’s apartment and sings a love song to one of them is so rude. In last week’s episode I talked about the trope of the married couple’s male friend who is interested in the wife, and Kip is one of the most obnoxious instances of that trope. He’s not anywhere near as funny or charming as he thinks he is. This isn’t meant as a criticism of the movie; I feel like he’s intentionally irritating, and he’s definitely important to the plot and the message of the film. But I do think that when I was watching this movie mainly for the comedy, realizing that I no longer found Kip funny was a big part of why I started rewatching it less frequently.

But what I’ve grown to appreciate more recently about this movie is how progressive it was for its time, and the fascinating way that it has aged because of that. Bear in mind that this movie was made in 1949, shortly after WWII, very much in the “women stay home and support your man and raise those boomer children” era. So it was quite bold of this movie to question gender roles, particularly in terms of the infidelity double standard. After Amanda reads about the shooting in the paper but before she has taken the case, she asks Grace what she thinks about a man who cheats on his wife, and Grace replies, “Not nice, but…” and shrugs. Then Amanda asks, “What about a wife who cheats on her husband?” and Grace says, “Something terrible!” When Amanda demands to know why there’s a difference, Grace protests, “I don’t make the rules!” And Amanda retorts, “Sure you do; we all do!” And I think that’s such an important point: even if you don’t agree with social norms, accepting them and perpetuating them is equivalent to endorsing them. Amanda decides to argue that if a man confronted his cheating wife with a gun, people would consider him to be justified, and there shouldn’t be any difference in this case just because the genders are swapped. Adam, on the other hand, argues that nobody has the right to just show up at somebody’s house and shoot them. And what’s so great about this conflict is that they’re both partly right and partly wrong. Amanda’s right that women shouldn’t be punished more harshly for cheating on their spouses than men are, but at the same time, that doesn’t mean everybody should go around shooting each other. And Adam’s right about that part, but he’s wrong in the way he dismisses his wife’s legitimate concerns and fails to recognize the effects of misogyny on society and on his marriage.

It is a little odd that Doris is charged with attempted murder instead of assault with a deadly weapon or something like that, but this way it’s easier to believe that she is found innocent. She definitely did commit assault, but it doesn’t seem like she really meant to kill anyone. I’m kind of surprised the censors allowed her to be acquitted, since my understanding of production codes is that crime couldn’t be shown to pay. I guess Warren getting shot was his punishment for cheating, so now they’re even? I want to know what happens to the Attingers after the trial – hopefully they get divorced and manage to find some happiness – but we don’t get to find out because ultimately the story isn’t about them; it’s about the Bonners. Adam has moved out after the whole weightlifter-picking-him-up episode, and Kip has started to attempt to take his place. After the trial, Amanda is at Kip’s apartment to go over a contract with him, but she’s distracted with worry about what’s going to happen to her marriage, and instead of listening and being a supportive friend, Kip decides it’s a good time to confess his love for her, using the irresistible line that he’s in love with her because she lives across the hall and it’s so convenient. And then Adam bursts in with a gun, and Amanda, terrified, says, “You have no right! Nobody has the right-” and then realizes what she’s saying. Satisfied, Adam reveals that the gun is actually made of licorice, and Amanda is furious, but it’s kind of the best possible outcome here: Doris doesn’t have to go to jail, but her actions are not being condoned, which I assume is what appeased the censors. And then later Adam demonstrates that men and women are truly equal by crying to get what he wants, which is…not great, but…I guess it’s good to challenge the stereotype that masculine men aren’t supposed to cry? It’s just not great to perpetuate the stereotype that women cry to manipulate men.

And that’s when you have to bear in mind that this movie is 74 years old. In addition to outdated gender role assumptions, there’s some weird body shaming and normalization of domestic violence that is very uncomfortable. But on the whole, it does a pretty good job of supporting women standing up for themselves in a post-WWII, pre-second-wave feminism America. Also, in a time when pretty much the only non-white characters in mainstream Hollywood movies were servants, it is worth noting that there are some people of color in the background of Adam’s Rib. There’s a black man on the jury, and when Amanda brings in a bunch of witnesses to demonstrate that women are equal to men, there are a few women of color in the crowd. Granted, when the judge rules that only three are allowed to testify, all three are white women, and the juror doesn’t get to speak either, but the representation bar was so low that even this tiny amount of racial diversity among the extras feels noteworthy.

While I’m pretty sure it wasn’t intentional, this movie also shows the harms of amatonormativity, and possibly even heteronormativity. Doris and Warren certainly should not have gotten married, but amatonormativity told them that that was the life they should want. When Warren is on the witness stand, Adam asks him why he married Doris, and Warren responds, “How should I know? Why did you marry yours? Does anybody know?” The assumption that everybody wants and needs a long-term monogamous romantic and sexual relationship leads to so many incredibly dysfunctional marriages that the people trapped in them think they’re not only normal, but universal, and that’s a problem. Nobody should feel like they have to marry someone they can barely stand just to have a partner. And speaking of people I can barely stand, let’s go back to Kip. While I don’t like him as a character, I do find it interesting that he’s kind of queer-coded, and Adam in particular mocks him for being effeminate, yet he pursues and tries to seduce Amanda. Of course, being a rather effeminate man and being attracted to women are not mutually exclusive, but it does feel a bit like he’s going after Amanda because he thinks that’s what he’s supposed to do. I mean, he says he’s into her because she’s his neighbor and it’s convenient – not exactly the most convincing display of attraction. When Amanda finally understands what Kip is saying, she has this great line: “Now, you look here, Kip. I’m fighting my prejudices, but it’s clear that you’re behaving like a, like a – well, I hate to put it this way, but like a man!” – meaning in the entitled to women’s attention and bodies sense of the word. Which, as someone whose masculinity has been repeatedly called into question, is probably what he was going for. I can’t really blame him for struggling to figure out how to perform gender in a way that’s socially acceptable, but that’s not an excuse for being a jerk who refuses to take no for an answer. As Amanda pointed out earlier, we all make the rules. The only way to overthrow harmful norms is to refuse to perpetuate them. So to summarize what we’ve learned: only get married if you want to, not because you think you should; if you find out your spouse is cheating, either work it out or get divorced, but don’t shoot them; and listened to your married neighbor when she says she doesn’t want to have an affair with you.

If this movie sounds kind of weird, that’s because it is, but the true story that inspired it is, if anything, even weirder. When actors Raymond Massey and Adrienne Allen got divorced, they were represented by husband-and-wife lawyers William Dwight Whitney and Dorothy Whitney, who then divorced each other to each marry their client from that case. Garson Kanin and Ruth Gordon then took the idea of married lawyers on opposite sides of a trial and turned it into Adam’s Rib. While the acting is fabulous, ultimately the script is the best part of this movie, and it was even nominated for an Oscar, which has always been unusual for comedies. While in some ways this movie presents a cynical view of marriage, it is worth noting that Kanin and Gordon’s lasted for 43 years until her death in 1985 and seems to have been a relatively happy one. They were clearly both very talented writers, and I think the film’s commentary on gender roles greatly benefitted from having a man and a woman working on it together. Gender roles have changed a bit in the decades since this movie was made, so from that perspective it feels a bit outdated, but it definitely makes some important points that are still relevant. And if nothing else, the script is clever and the performances are captivating.

Thank you for listening to my analysis of another of my most rewatched movies. I appreciate those of you who have stuck with me through this stretch of relatively obscure older films. If you’ve been enjoying hearing about them, don’t worry, there will be plenty more, but if you’re ready for a break, good news: the next movie was made in the 21st century, and you’ve probably at least heard of it! As always, I will leave you with a quote from that next movie: “I haven’t slept with hundreds of men.”

[wishingicouldfly]

Fanfic Faves - 2022

My 2022 favorites. Of course, I had 50+ on my fave list, and I had to narrow down to 15. I cut out fics that were rereads, and fics that I've mentioned elsewhere in lists. I removed double mentions of authors. It was still hard to get it to a manageable list. But here it is. My top 15 for 2022.

These aren't all published in 2022, but were all read by me this year. For some perspective, my total fic count for the year is 271, almost 20 millions words read. I've read some really good fics that didn't make this list.

Find me over at @FlyWishing on Twitter to chat, if you want! Adding a cut because this is long...

Say Hallelujah, Say Goodnight by alivingfire - https://archiveofourown.org/works/10749141/chapters/23831946

Louis is an angel who is just a little too bad to be good, Harry is a demon who is just a little too good to be bad, and they're both a little too in love to be impartial when angels and demons go to war.

My thoughts: Exceptional. No extreme smut. Soul mates. Louis angel. Harry demon. Save the world. Love each other across Millennium. Superbly written.

2. Of Mates and Men by BananaHeathen - https://archiveofourown.org/works/26640253/chapters/64964377

In which, Louis and Harry meet as best men for their best friends' wedding... well... sort of. Or, the one where Harry's just moved back from New York and Louis doesn't believe in romance. Or, I guess... the one where Zayn and Liam are getting married.

My Thoughts: This was the year BananaHeathen finished this WIP, so I can add it to my faves list! I LOVE this sweet friends to lovers slow burn. Louis is a romance agent, Harry is a photog getting over a serious break up. Great OT5 found family. Exceptionally written and long, but you never want it to end.

3. Burn to Ash by bethaboo - https://archiveofourown.org/works/1854157/chapters/3988654

Or the fic where Harry spirals out of control, the band breaks up, and then he shows back up, five years later.

My Thoughts: a new favorite. Canon to a point, except it's Harry as an alcoholic (Trigger warning) who leaves the band and doesn't return for five years. Slow burn as Louis learns to forgive him, but it's lovely and there's a small side plot of Ziam.

4. Lightning Strikes Twice by dinosaursmate - https://archiveofourown.org/works/12950415/chapters/29601396

Louis slipped his hand onto Harry’s thigh, snaking his fingers up and inwards. “I’m a big fan. You’re so talented, and I have to admit that I actually fancy you a bit.” “Yeah?” Harry reached up to push Louis’ fringe out of his eyes. “Well, you know, I like to try and be accommodating to my fans.” “You’re quite well known for that,” Louis whispered as he turned his head some more, their mouths an inch apart. “So I hear.” Rock star Harry Styles was nineteen when he met Louis, a groupie with a huge heart that Harry couldn’t quite shake from his mind. Fate granted him a second chance at the age of sixty, his washed up and lonely existence being transformed by a widower with a bookshop.

My Thoughts: I loved this one. Super sexy but also really sweet. Spans a lifetime. Older characters are written really well.

5. Torn on the Platform by frecklebomb - https://archiveofourown.org/works/6203497

AU where harry and louis are strangers but they always get the same train to work in the morning and one day harry falls asleep on louis' shoulder. louis wants to be annoyed because harry just broke a least seven rules of tube conduct but he looks so soft and peaceful that he just lets him sleep and wakes him ever so carefully when it’s his stop. it happens again and again until it becomes a regular thing where louis will let harry snooze and then gently nudge him awake, hand him the cup of coffee he took from him so it wouldn't slip and spill everywhere and send him off with a “have fun at work, love” and after the tenth time harry isn't even embarrassed any more.

My Thoughts: This is a PODFIC - I listened in the car. Such a good light story read by the author, who has a lovely narration voice. Loved everything about it.

6. Tied Down by HamPalphert - https://archiveofourown.org/works/16218140/chapters/37907963

The most interesting case in Liam and Niall's careers falls directly into their laps, courtesy of an epic fuck-up of one Harry Styles, partner to the almost-infamous drug dealer Louis Tomlinson. The investigation yields an unexpected yet satisfactory outcome for Liam and Niall. For Harry and Louis, however, things are far more complicated.

My Thoughts: I really liked this crime drama; it's told from a variety of different perspectives, and it all comes together at the end.

7. Desires for Woolgatherings by isolated - https://archiveofourown.org/works/30421635/chapters/75003873

AU: In the midst of his second world tour, Louis Tomlinson receives the devastating news that his former bandmate, Harry Styles, is in critical condition after an unfortunate accident. Fresh with the loss of his mother and his sister, Louis’ world darkens once more as he flies out to California, preparing for the worst. There, Louis is faced with the ghost of his past, realizing the hand he played in the band’s division. As time goes on, Harry’s condition becomes dire, and his only chances of survival forces Louis to participate in a makeshift, illegal drug trial orchestrated by a dubious neuroscientist.

My Thoughts: science fiction, love the angst and happy ending. Canon divergent. Louis has to undertake an experimental procedure to save Harry in his dreams.

8. Shadow Dances by itsmotivatingcara - https://archiveofourown.org/works/38097370/chapters/95165941

A FBI - Medium AU

My Thoughts: crime drama, supernatural, x-files-esque. GREAT characters. Great plot.

Cara burst onto the fanfic scene this year with a great list of crime drama/supernatural fics. If you like this genre, go read all of them.

9. I'll fly Away by juliusschmidt - https://archiveofourown.org/works/5390444?view_full_work=true

Harry and Louis grew up together in Lake County, Harry with his mom and stepdad in a tiny cottage on Edward’s Lake and Louis in his family’s farmhouse a few minutes down the road. But after high school, Louis stuck around and Harry did not; Harry went to Chicago where he found a boyfriend and couple of college degrees. Six years later, Harry ends up back in Edwardsville for the summer and he and Louis fall into old patterns and discover new ones.

My Thoughts: TW for some internal and external homophobia. But this has nice character development exploring small town Larry and 1 D.

10. Have Love Will Travel by kingsofeverything - https://archiveofourown.org/works/24971224

Rather than spend the summer working at their desks, Louis and Harry are given the opportunity to crisscross the country together in a tiny camper, filming their adventures for a YouTube series. It soon becomes obvious to their viewers that there’s something more than friendship between them. Eventually, they figure it out.

My Thoughts: super cute. Road Trip Larry. Lots of state parks, travel. Louis has a crush and of course they end up together.

11. Promise Your Whispers are mine by lightswoodmagic - https://archiveofourown.org/works/30297759/chapters/74675502

Harry’s the head chef at Azoff’s Catering, and he loves his job; the opportunity has always been more than he could dream of and he’s proud of the food he creates. Until he meets Louis, an event coordinator rising through the ranks with his own company, and who reminds him of the dreams he once had for his own career. While their easy friendship initially thrives in an industry known for chaos and betrayal, they soon discover they both have their secrets, and maybe it’s too late for either of them to try to find happiness outside of their work. Especially when they realise that their happiness might rely on each other.

My Thoughts: I liked this one a lot--it would make a good Hallmark channel movie--a bit of angst. Some internalized homophobia. Good OT5. Side of Ziam and a glimpse of Shiall.

12. The Murmur of Yearning by MediaWhore - https://archiveofourown.org/works/24575821/chapters/59353969

Four years ago, Harry Styles was forced into a marriage of convenience to enrich and ally both his and his promised's families. The sudden, and slightly suspicious, death of the Marquess of Haxshire, however, brings great disturbance to Crescentfield Hall and, as his late's husband's closest male relative, Harry unexpectedly finds himself the head of a family he never felt he belonged to. Between a meddling distant cousin hellbent on inserting himself in Harry’s life, his wicked and mistrustful mother-in-law and his late husband’s advisors refusing to help or take him seriously, Harry struggles in the fight to keep what he’s earned and make the Estate finally feel like home.

My Thoughts: This one is really good. slow burn. historical fiction. really lovely Harry. Great Louis. Rocking Niall as the valet.

13. Golden by shaylea - https://archiveofourown.org/works/38275321

Harry is fully dressed when Louis returns to the room. He’s slumped on the edge of the bed, fingers twining awkwardly around the edge of his pink flounces. “Can I come?” he blurts when Louis opens the bathroom door.

My Thoughts: Great slow build. Secret identity falling in love. Louis as a farmer is particularly sweet.

14. Down the Line by sunflouwerhabit - https://archiveofourown.org/works/34559743/chapters/86026318

OR: Star shortstop Louis Tomlinson only finds solace between the white-chalk lines of a baseball diamond, until Harry Styles- the absolute bane of his existence and (probably) the worst pitcher in Major League Baseball- becomes an overnight sensation in the city Louis calls home.

My Thoughts: Really liked this baseball fic. Good solid OT5, great character development. Love story feels believable as does the angst and past-trauma.

15. Swallow the Knife by whoknows - https://archiveofourown.org/works/19429339

“You came,” Louis says, still breathless, clinging to Harry, uncaring that his sweat is getting all over Harry’s presumably clean dad shirt, or that he’s making Harry hold up all of his weight. “Of course I came,” Harry says. He shifts, one arm curled underneath Louis’ arse, the other spreading wide in the middle of Louis’ back. “If I ignored you every time you pissed me off we would have stopped being friends a long time ago.” Louis already knows that, of course. It doesn’t do anything to stop the pleased squirm in his belly every time Harry proves it, though. They fight like nobody’s business, both of them too stubborn to pull their punches when they’re arguing, and it used to get them in trouble, but they always make up. Adrenaline makes Louis loose-lipped, and they both know it. He tightens his arms around Harry’s neck, buries his face in his hair. “I missed you,” he confesses, quiet. “Doesn’t feel the same up there by myself.”

My Thoughts: really enjoyed, slow burn, canon compliant. Louis needs support on his first solo tour and Harry comes along to help him.

Happy Reading!

Rosann xoxo

[ki-limepie]

tagged by @jiminsproof​ to show my whole ass and talk about my favorite 10 blorbos<3 i live my life through fictional characters from games an anime so i will try to whittle my list down to 10 hahah

the top two are in order because i’m completely normal about them but the rest are just scattered without an order in mind ahah

Yatora Yaguchi (Blue Period)

oikawa may be my og blorbo but yatora is my Forever blorbo. have i talked about blue period enough? the answer is no, never. aside from blue period just being the most real and personal manga i have ever read in my life, yatora just GETS me on a personal level that i cannot describe . the way he’s confident to the point of cocky, but crashes and burns twice as hard; the way he’s so so flawed and he has doubts and struggles but still, at his core, just loves art and wants to connect? oooouuugh [”: anyway blue period chapter 47 broke me, made me have a full on breakdown but yatora is forever my special favorite blorbo

Oikawa Tooru (Haikyuu!!)

oh my original blorbo... i have so many thoughts and emotions and feelings about oikawa that i cannot possibly put into words but he is my og blorbo that i adore and cherish so much while also punting him to the moon [”: his constant push to work harder, better, and his immense pride is extremely personal to me; he’s the reason i wrote 20 haikyuu fics over the course of the pandemic and for that i love him

Mono (Little Nightmares II)

ogs remember my intense little nightmares brainrot early last year<3 i don’t have many thoughts about mono other than “that is my little guy”, i spent a long time studying his (essentially nonexistent) character personality and maybe i’m projecting my nonbinary agenda on him but he’s a very special little guy to me

Rachel Gardner (Angels of Death)

so here’s the thing about aod. it is not a well written story nor is it one i would recommend to anyone because of how grisly and edgy it is. and yet, have i consumed Every Kind of media that i possibly can of this story? yes absolutely i even bought two copies of the final volume of the manga by complete accident. something about the early 2000s rpgmaker edginess is special to me and i found the game at a very... turbulent time in my life, let’s say haha none of the characters are good characters but ray has just that touch of “fucked up traumatized child” that i connect with somehow

Maka Albarn (Soul Eater)

yknow i think maka was one of my og awakenings KJGDSKA soul eater is just one of those anime/manga that i fondly think about from time to time and i’ll never forgive what they did to it in the spinoff. maka is just that kind of girl who would kick my ass to the moon and when i was a teen, i definitely had a huge crush on her (not to mention she’s voiced by laura bailey in the dub; a win all around for me)

Theobald Leonhart (LiEat)

looks like i’m pulling out my  ✨obscure rpgmaker games ✨ card on this one. lieat is one of those games that really spoke to me and i don’t know why! theo is such an important character to me and that “stuck with you until we’re eventually family” relationship he has with efi melts my heart [”: also miwashiba popped off with their character designs

Mob/Shigeo Kageyama (Mob Psycho 100)

mob is actually my little guy ever sorry mono, this kid is so important to me. mp100 in general is just extremely important to me (how are we feeling about mp100 III in october? insane.) i don’t have any big deep reason why i enjoy him so much, he’s just very easy to love

Shion (No. 6)

sometimes i think about no. 6 and the pain it brought me and i think that was truly my villain origin story; in my heart, they get a happy ending and are gay and in love forever [:

Kris Dreemur (Deltarune)

so deltarune.... i feel like every fellow nonbinary that i know loves kris. solidarity 🤝 i don’t have complex feelings or emotions about kris yet, they’re just so... the character ever yknow? little gremlin enby

Gear (Servamp)

i miss servamp, i need to catch up again sometime... this guy is just so Me, that’s all i’ve got to say about him; he feels like he was written and designed for me [: i’m forever salty that we will never get animated wolfboy gear but he is in my heart

thank you once again natalia for allowing me to be unhinged about my guys 💕

[astronomoney]

Heyo! I heard you were open for requests, so I thought if I can ask for a fluffly prompt of 18? Like Jon kent x batsis? ( I noticed this dude don't get much love at all.) Maybe it has like a tiny (big) crush on batsis, and accidentally ends up following her. But don't rush your self, I know you got alot to do. I'll wait! Ty! (This is alot of reading, sorry.)

Pairing: Jon Kent x Fem!reader

Prompts: Prompt list 18-“Care to explain why you’ve been following me for 6 blocks?” (Apparently “care to explain *inster text here*” is a common prompt theme on my list)

Summary: Jon Kent meets the one and only batsis (that’s you) and being the idiot he is, falls madly in love... naturally.

A/n: Ok so this took a while and i didn’t like where it was going for a while but after some editing i actually really like how this turned out! (Also sorry this took so long life hit me like bitch this past week) And Jon and the reader are about 15 16 ish here which makes damian 19ish. Masterlist

Word count: 1.5k it’s not a super long thing but i’m pretty pleased with that number

Code: y/n=your name

Not So Super Stelthy

Jon Kent floated in a small circle about 4 feet above the ground, trying his best not to fall asleep. He had been watching Damian watch security footage on the batcomputer for 30 minutes and he was bored out of his mind.

“What are you even looking for?” Jon asked, letting himself land and walking over to the computer.

“Proof.” Damian replied, too focused on the tape to give more than a one word answer.

“Right, of course the proof,” Jon nodded his head before pausing awkwardly.

Damian sighed and paused the video. “You have no idea what i’m talking about.”

“Nope.”

“And you’re extremely bored.”

“Yup.” Jon rocked back on his heels, dragging out the Y sound.

“Fine then, you can look around the cave but don’t touch anything. Got it?” Damin said sternly, knowing that if he didn’t give Jon something to do he'd start asking questions nonstop.

“Really! I can go explore by myself!” He exclaimed, instantly more energetic. “I promise i won’t break anything!” He called flying swiftly out of the room before Damian could change his mind.

He walked down a random hallway looking at the various souvenirs on the walls. He heard some grunting and the sound metal against metal coming from a room down the hall. He made his way toward the sound using his super hearing to try and figure out who it was.

“That was so not fair!” An unknown female voice exclaimed.

“Technically that’s not stated in the rules.” a smug voice shot back. Jon recognized it to be Tim’s but he still didn’t know who the other person was. He kept walking towards the sound until he found a large open room with weapons on the walls and mats on the floor.

In the middle of the room he saw two people holding metal bow staffs and walking around each other.

“Well it was implied.” The girl said before charging Tim. She swung at his left but he blocked and twirled the bow staff around to hit her in the side. She stumbled back but quickly regained her balance and came at him again, this time faking a hit to the right before sweeping his legs out from under him so he landed on his back. His staff rolled away and it was very clear that he had lost that fight.

“YES!” The girl cheered “I win and you owe me 20 bucks.” She boasted in a sing-song voice, reaching out her hand to help Tim up.

“Yeah yeah I get it.” Tim grabbed her hand and hoisted himself up sounding annoyed at his defeat. The girl turned around and walked towards the bench where a plastic half empty water bottle sat. That was when Jon saw her face for the first time, that was also when she noticed Jon.

“Oh hey Superboy.” She said, sounding slightly confused as to why the Metropolis hero would be in the batcave.

“Jon?” Tim asked, turning towards him. “What are you doing here?” He smiled and walked over to rest his elbow on the girl's shoulder.

“Hi sorry i didn’t mean to bother you I was just uh exploring.” Jon said, semi awkwardly. “Damian’s doing some research on the computer and I guess he didn’t want me distracting him.” He pointed sheepishly towards the room where Damian was still watching security tapes.

The girl laughed and shrugged Tims arm away. “Well definitely don’t take that personally. Damian’s not really one for conversation. I’m y/n by the way.”

He remembered Damian mentioning her here and there but he’d never met her before. “I’m Jon, but you know that already.”

She laughed again which made him smile. “Well Jon it’s nice to meet you.”

“There you are.” Damian rounded the corner. “I have the proof but we need to hurry if we’re going to get there in time.”

“You better get going before Damian pulls a kryptonite katana on you.” y/n joked waving over at the very grumpy looking teenager.

“Yeah,” Jon laughed. “Wait? Does he really have one of those?” his smile was replaced with slight concern for his own safety.

“Superboy. Let’s go.” Damian sounded impatient, although he always sounded like that.

“Sorry i’m coming.” Jon began flying over to him. “Bye y/n!” he called before turning the corner and disappearing.

“Bye Jon.” Y/n leaned on the door frame and watched him fly off, a small smile on her face.

“Umm what was that?” Tim asked a very confused look on his face.

“What was what?” she turned around

“Oh I don't know, maybe the whole ‘oh hi i’m y/n nice to meet you’ thing?”

“Ok I know you don’t talk to people very often but typically when you meet someone new you introduce yourself.”

“Well your starry eyed stare might have been a bit too much.”

“Starry eyed?” she scoffed in response “I was in no way starry eyed.”

“Uh huh sure.” He said in an over-protective-older-brother voice.

“Shut up.” y/n tossed a bow staff to Tim and got into a fighting stance with her own.

༻𖥸༺

After a mission went wrong, Damian demanded Jon train in the cave at least twice a week to make him, in Damians words “Somewhat competent on the field”. That meant Jon would spend more time in the cave and saw more of y/n.

Whenever Jon and y/n got a chance to talk it felt like they’d known each other for their whole lives. They had inside jokes and about 2/3’s of a secrets code memorized. Sometimes they would just sit next to each other, completely comfortable in the silent company. Jon’s heart started to beat faster when she was around and his cheeks would heat up when she smiled at him.

He got distracted whenever she came into the training room which resulted in a very hard kick to the stomach on more than one occasion. One day while Jon was on his way home from the manor, he spotted y/n walking swiftly across a rooftop. He hadn’t seen in the cave that day but Damian said she was at a friends house.

His exact words were “She’s at her friends house studying, now if you’re done being completely in love with my sister can we run the training again?”

Of course Jon responded by saying “I am not in love with her!” but it was clear that Damian didn’t buy that and at this point Jon wasn’t sure he believed it either.

‘What is she doing out?’ he thought while silently ducking behind a nearby billboard. Jon let her get about three rooftops away and used his super senses to keep track of her. She turned left, then left again, then right, then another left, and finally stopped on top of a random building.

Y/n turned to look at the city and let out a sigh. “You know,” she spoke softly with a hint of a smirk in her voice. “For someone with Superpowers you’re shit at staying hidden.”

‘Busted’

“How could you possibly have seen me?” Jon came out from his apparently not so good hiding place and landed a few feet away from her on the roof. “I was in super stealth mode.”

“Well darling Jon i was raised by Batman. Noticing things is kinda, well my thing.” She laughed. “Now, care to explain why you’ve been following me for 6 blocks?”

“W-well i have a perfectly reasonable explanation for that and it is because,” he said slowly trying to come up with a good excuse as to why he’d been following her. The truth was he didn’t know why he’d followed her. Although he had a sneaking suspicion it had to do with his not so small crush.

“It’s because- Hey wait a second you’re not even supposed to be out here.” Jon cut himself off by changing the subject. “Didn’t Batman like, ban you from being a crime fighter?”

“What Batman doesn't know won’t hurt him.” She walked over to him so they were now about 2 feet apart.

“He’s Batman! He knows everything!” Jon exclaimed as if it was obvious.

“Well i’m not going to tell him.” She paused leaning closer to Jon so they were mere inches away from each other. His heart speed up and he felt his cheeks turn pink from how close they were. “Are you going to tell him?”

“N-no?” It sounded more like a question then an answer but it was good enough for y/n.

“Great!” She leaned away again, her smile returning. “Now that i’ve confirmed you won’t be snitching on me, we can go get some food. I am starving and there’s a great taco truck just around the corner that makes the best nachos. That is if you want to?”

“Want to? Yeah i’d love to!” He smiled happily at the idea.

“Perfect, then it’s a date.”

[pottersfia]

putting on an act | hp x fem!reader

part three

part four

masterlist

warnings: it’s pretty long (for me at least), barely looked over sorry, swearing, fluff, tension😁😁, mention of sex, angst at the end, NO CHO SLANDER‼️‼️

prompts:

5: “DONT COME IN! WE’RE UH- HAVING SEX!”

20: top of head kisses

48: “Ugh our kids are gonna be awesome”

a/n: he looks so hot in this gif bye

through this endeavor, harry had noticed something; you’ve never been on a date together. he figured it probably seemed weird from an outsiders point of view, no one (not even ron and hermione) knew how your relationship started. one day you were known as best friends and the next you were locking hands anytime you were in view of others.

he was honestly nervous of the idea. was he really taking you on a date because of cho or because of you? but on the other hand, it could be an opportunity to somehow strengthen this fake relationship. it was a perfect excuse, if anything it’d be more proof to other that you were actually dating.

you woke up on a saturday morning to the sun shining on your face. you got up, lazily and got ready to go out for breakfast in the great hall.

“good morning, sleepyhead.” harry said to you as you sat next to him.

“good morning.” you yawned and leaned your head in your hand, eating your food.

“today’s a hogsmeade day, hopefully you didn’t forget.” you smiled at harry’s words, glad you’d have a chance to get out.

“you’re right, it is.” you replied.

“i was thinking we could go on a date.” you looked up at him, slightly taken off guard.

“really?” you asked. harry nodded.

“we could go to honeydukes then somewhere else, i don’t know whatever you want.” he said as he turned back to his food. you smiled, the idea of being on a date with him sending butterflies to your stomach.

“yeah, we could go to the three broomsticks and out by the lake after. the weather’s pretty nice today.” he looked back at you with a smile and nod.

“sounds excellent.”

“what sounds excellent?” ron’s voice was suddenly heard as he and hermione sat down.

“we’re going on a date today.” you told them.

“so i’ll be stuck with ronald the whole time?” hermione exclaimed.

“hey! i’m pretty good company if i do say so myself.” he replied.

“keep telling yourself that.”

you and harry laughed at their bickering as the conversations carried on.

you were currently sitting with harry at the three broomsticks, each enjoying a butterbeer.

“you’re telling me you’d want five kids?” you laughed and so did he.

“it’s just a thought, realistically maybe two or three.” he replied.

“i agree, my kids will at least have one sibling.” you nodded. “what would you name them?” harry thought for a moment.

“well i’d definitely want to use my parents names somehow, even if it’s just a middle name.” he said. you smiled.

“i have a whole list of names.” you said.

“of course you do.” he laughed and so did you. “ugh, our kids are gonna be awesome.” you felt your face heat up at the comment and let out another small laugh as you went into a few moments of comfortable silence.

“so, um, how’s the cho situation going?” as much as you wanted to forget any of this was about someone else, you felt obligated to ask. you wanted to know where his feelings were.

“oh, right uh,” he looked up and saw cho enter, how ironic. they shared a quick moment of eye contact and a smile. “ok i think? we’ve only really talked a few times. i don’t know what i’m supposed to do at this point.” you looked between harry and cho with a sigh, taking your last sip of butterbeer.

“why don’t we go now.” you said, harry looked at you and smiled. he stood up and held your hand, walking out with you.

the two of you laid out on a blanket by the black lake, sun shining on your skin and the sound of yours and harry’s soft laughter in the air.

“do we have anymore grapes left?” harry asked you. you sat up and looked at the bowl that sat between you two. there were only two grapes left. you grabbed one of them and looked down at harry.

“open up, potter.” you said. harry sat up and raised an eyebrow at you.

“y/n, we both now your aim is rubbish.” he said. you scoffed and place a hand over your chest in mock offense.

“ouch that one went right to the heart.” he laughed at your act and gestured for you to throw the grape at him. you threw the small fruit and watched as he stared at it with his mouth open just for it to bounce off his forehead and into the grass.

“oops?” you said and you both fell into laughter. you looked at the bowl again and grabbed the last grape. “one last grape left.” you held it out to him. he went to take it from your hand but you pulled away. he looked at you and you shot him a playful smile. he reached again but failed.

the act turned into an all out war filled with teasing and laughter. that was until you stretched your hand up over your head and not realizing how close you were, harry reached for it. in an attempt to move your hand backwards you ended up falling over harry following suit and catching himself on his hands. your laughter stopped as you realized the position you were in. harry was hovering right on top of you. his eyes met yours and his breath hitched as he was unsure of what to do.

the moments you spent staring at each other felt like hours. your mind was racing until you snapped yourself out of it with a nervous laugh.

“uh, harry?” you practically whispered.

“r-right, uh sorry about that.” he said as he sat back up. you sat up, trying to collect yourself after what just happened. you looked at harry to find he was staring blankly at you. you smiled and ate the grape that was still in your hand.

“what-” harry realized what you did and you laughed at his reaction. the two of you laid back down in your previous position, staring at the darkening sky. you lingered in silence.

you could’ve sworn that in the moment you noticed harry checking you out. the image ran back in your head and you noticed how you stared down at your lips. was it possible he actually liked you? he was being pretty distant from cho. you needed to find out for yourself.

harry was conflicted. practically the whole day he had let his mind wonder on to the idea of being with you but it was always interrupted by reality. at the three broomsticks the presence of cho snapped him out of it, during the picnic “date” your teasing and comments that he interpreted as friendly banter interrupted it, and just now the moment you shared being cut short interrupted it. all he wanted to do in that moment was lean down and kiss you but he couldn’t. he would never do something to ruin your friendship.

“if i’m being honest, being in a relationship is a nice change from being single.” harry’s words interrupted the silence. you turned your head to him.

“really? why’s that.” you asked, amused. he shrugged.

“i don’t have to deal with the constant weird tension around other girls. most of them have backed off.” he turned to look back at you.

“ok mr. chosen one.” you laughed. “you’re welcome for helping with your female attention problem.”

“ok, when you say it like that it’s weird.” he laughed back. you shook you’re head, sitting up.

“it’s getting pretty late.” you commented. harry sat up too.

“yeah.” he stood up and so fid you. he picked up the bowl as you grabbed the blanket, folding it in your hands. you turned back to harry with a small smile, looking up at him.

“thanks for spending the day with me.” harry smiled back. he took a step closer to you and kissed the top of your head. your face heated up.

“n-no problem. you’re great company.” you held his hand and the two of you made your way back to the castle that is hogwarts.

•••

it was sunday night and the infamous weasly twins had the idiotic idea to throw their normally done on friday common room party.

you had to admit you were looking pretty good. the time you spent with harry on saturday really seemed to boost your mood so you wore your favorite outfit and let loose with your friends, get a little tipsy, and dancing the night away.

harry was practically drooling over you. it was one of the rare times he let himself really look at you. he couldn’t help the smile that grew on his face.

“oi, mate we exist too, ya know.” he felt the person tap his arm and looked back to see seamus with a cheeky grin. ron, dean, and neville shared the same look as they stared at him.

“what?” he said. they laughed and shook their heads. harry suddenly saw you walking towards him.

“harry!” you practically screamed.

“hello y/n.” he chuckled.

“you need to stop being a boring wallflower and dance with m-” you tripped a bit over your feet and spilled whatever was in that cup of yours on yourself. “oh no!” you exclaimed.

“godric y/n, uh,” he grabbed the cup away from you. “why don’t you get changed into something else, there’s a big red stain on you.”

“yes i can see that.” you whined. harry put an arm around your shoulder and led you to your dorm room. you opened the door and fell on your bed.

“ugh it’s so comfortable.” you sighed. harry laughed and kneeled next to you.

“do you wanna ho back out there?” he asked you. you sat back up and nodded vigorously. “get changed then.” you nodded again and went you your draws to get something new. without thinking twice, you began undressing.

“woah woah, y/n! i’m still here.” harry quickly turned around. you laughed.

“oops.” was your only comment. suddenly there was a knock on the door.

“Y/N! ARE YOU THERE?!” you heard one of your friends calling for you. you covered your body with the clothes you held, you and harry sharing panicked looks.

“u-uh YOU MIGHT NOT WANT TO OPEN THE DOOR!” you yelled back.

“YEAH D-DONT COME IN! WE’RE UH- HAVING SEX!” harry yelled after you, instantly regretted his words. you looked at him in disbelief and he shrugged.

“oh, I’LL BE GOING THEN, um SORRY!” they yelled back.

“really? we’re having sex?” you questioned.

“it was the first thing i thought of!” he replied. you shook your head.

“i bet you’d like to fuck me, huh?” you smirked. harry’s eyes went wide.

“what?” he asked. you laughed again as you opened your bathroom door and closed it to change.

•••

eventually you and harry got back to the party. you promised him you wouldn’t drink any more and went back to dancing.

after a while you found yourself sat down on a couch, listening to your friends nonsense conversation. in the corner if your eye you saw harry walking out of the common room. this was your chance. you stood up and followed him. you were going to ask harry about his feelings, maybe even confess your own. what’s the worst that could-

and there it was.

you saw harry kissing someone. but it wasn’t just someone, it was cho. you were in shock. you knew to cho’s knowledge he was in a relationship, but cho wasn’t what bothered you; it was harry. any hope that he liked you back was down the drain.

cho opened her eyes for a brief second and that’s when she saw you. she instantly pulled away. harry looked at her confused then followed her gaze and saw you. you looked like you were gonna break down in tears.

“y/n,” harry said. you ran away.

taglist:

[to be adding send me a message/ask!]

@inglourious-imagines

[caterpellas]

munich nights • harry styles 2

summary: touring inseparably as best friends and musicians, yours and harry’s relationship takes a cruel turn in munich.

warnings: smut (thigh riding, oral f receiving, girl on top n i think that’s it)

genre: bestfriend!harry, friends to lovers(?), angst, smut, it’s the works y’all

pt 2/3 (one is here)           word count: 6k

a/n: this is the penultimate bit now :) i’m actually super nervous to post this lol i’m a mess anyway pls enjoy 

chapter 2 playlist

you couldn’t lie, you cried yourself to sleep that night, with a movie you sort of cared about playing in the background. harry didn’t love you, and what used to be the strongest friendship in mankind had now crumbled apart and returned to a state of distant nothingness. harry didn’t love you. he didn’t have to say those words to you for you to know they were true. the realisation hit you about twenty minutes after harry left like an arrow to your chest, that was so recently covered in his ejaculate. not only were the pair of you virtually inseparable, you worked together as well and you had absolutely no idea what was going to happen now. you felt too ashamed for him and his band members to see you now after last night.

waking up in a damp patch of tears in your double bed, you try your hardest to get on with your day and forget last night. a bath felt appropriate so, just before midday, before you’d even greeted your friends yet, you ran one. the tub itself was freestanding and as deep as your head when you sat in it, the victorian taps centred in the middle. it was definitely the nicest bath you’d had in your life. you stripped off last nights clothes that you had shamelessly fallen asleep in and hoped to god the hot water of your bath would erase the images of last night, but the feeling of harry’s touch burned hotter then any water.

almost an hour later, milo, your drummer, knocked on the door of the bathroom you were still in.

“y/n? you in there? we haven’t seen you since last night before you and harry left. is everything okay?” milo’s voice reached you through the oak walls. you wanted to tell him that nothing was okay, and that you’re most important relationship ceased to exist but you couldn’t bare to tell anyone else, especially your friend and bandmate of 5 years.

“i’m all good, i’ll be out soon.” you make it downstairs another half an hour later, the need for a cup of tea driving you to the kitchen. as you reached the breakfast bar right next to the kitchen, you saw the sickening mop of brown curls that you were hoping to avoid. he turns to face you at the sound of your slippers against the tiled floor.

but instead of plain ignorance, a much more unexpected reaction finds its way to harry as he greets you, “y/n! we were beginning to think you’d drowned in that bath.”

you stood in bewilderment at harry’s attempt at a joke, wondering why he was trying you like all of last night never happened to either of you. but you picked this over cold silence so went along with it, “yeah sorry i needed to recover from the jet lag yesterday.”

it was sort of true, you were feeling the time difference and were grateful to be able to rest today. aside from plans to go out this evening, you were all going to rest up at home. which meant being in close quarters with the man you were trying so hard to avoid. making your cup of tea on the old aga kettle, your friends went back to discussing tour details, chatting about last and what was in store for the rest of the trip. you got a feeling their plans for the future weren’t going to be that plain and simple.

-

by the evening, you had all found yourselves comfortably sat around the fire outside, eating takeout from a german restaurant nearby. it was really good, and although you and harry had barely spoken more than those few words to each other things weren’t as awkward as you were dreading they’d be. usually, if things hadn’t gone the way they had, you and harry would be sat next to one another, your sides touching all the way down whilst you giggled over something harry was telling you.but as it goes, milo and olly sandwiched you between their huge bodies.

“does anyone know the name of the club we’re going to tonight?”

your ears pricked up at the mention of going to a club. you didn’t realise you were going out-out.

“panorama, i think? i put harry’s name on the guest list.”

it occurred to you that you were heavily underdressed for an exclusive nightclub. you had a good feeling they wouldn’t accept your cargo pants and grubby trainers. jumping up from the bench you run to the door, “i need to go change!”

you opted for an ever so slightly classier look and went with a small pleated skirt and a cropped cardigan. not a combo you’d usually wear, it was a little more fitted then you’d choose for yourself but you’d compromise a little to get in the club. you stuck with the dr martens purely for comfort and called it a night there. you loved your style for many reasons, but the most important one was that it was low effort. it took a maximum of 20 minutes to get ready and you took pride in that.

the group had organised to have a limo to share instead of a taxi, so harry was a little more protected from paparazzi and also to fit the size of your party. they were all waiting outside on the drive when you got downstairs and in unison, their heads turned to face you.

sarah grinned at you, “i love it.”

“very cute,” charlotte smiled as well.

you responded with a “cheers” before daring to look at harry. he was wearing a silk shirt and slacks in a baby pink colour. nothing different to harry’s usual attire but the outfit still sent a chill down your spine. well that, and the way he was looking at you. it was dark out but you could still see how electric his green eyes were as they stared directly at you. you’d been caught off guard, harry wasn’t someone you were prepared to connect with again this evening. in fact, you’d convinced yourself that you didn’t even care whether harry was going to be there or not (utter lies of course). but by the way he was looking at you, you knew this wasn’t the end and you weren’t sure if that was a good thing or not.

-

the vip section of ‘panorama’ was plush and teal coloured, with flower garlands and strip lights along the ceiling. you had a lounging area all to yourselves, with big padded benches and cushions. it was luxurious and if you weren’t so highly strung from having harry sat so near by, you’d fall asleep on it. you drunk so many cocktails by this point and your worries seemed to fade away into the loud club music.

“y/n.”

harry was sat next to you, but distantly. he was chatting to mitch before he said your name. no matter how loud the music playing was, you’d still always here his voice. turning to him, you asked, “harry?”

he’s smiling at you, like nothing has changed, “how come you haven’t danced yet this evening?”

it was a good question- you loved to dance more than you loved to perform. harry would always make fun of you, the shimmy you would do when he was playing disco in the studio and the way you always swayed along to fleetwood mac, pretending to be stevie nicks on stage. the reason you weren’t dancing is because you were far too obsessed with the closeness you had achieved with harry in your booth.

“i haven’t quite been feeling it just yet,” you teased back and you felt as though things with harry had gone back to normal, so you dared to ask, “are we good?”

harry’s boyish smile took over his face as he gave you a definite, “yes.”

“well i’m feeling more in the mood now so i’ll see you later,” you get up to exit, smoothing out the pleats in your skirt and struggle to take your eyes away from his. dreaming he’ll follow you, you make your way into the adjacent room filled to the brim with people. the song was bassy, but mellow and you could immediately feel your body moving to it. before you knew it you were almost next to the dj booth, opposite the ceiling high speakers and the song was perfect. you hadn’t felt this relaxed since yesterday’s plane journey and you let your unease pour out of your limbs as they writhed to the music. it took a few minutes to take you out of the trance and realise, although surrounded by a mass of people, you weren’t alone.

a tall figure was behind you, and without turning you knew who it was. you could smell his cologne easily- it was gucci of course and it was heavenly. not even daring to turn to him, you stayed facing away, afraid of what it meant to have him in your view. his hands, large and firm, gripped your shoulders, like he did twice yesterday, and his hot breath was against your neck.

“can i join you?”

the question itself was said innocently, this wasn’t the first time harry had asked to dance with you, and probably wasn’t the last, but it felt different to you now. god how you missed the simplicity of harry being unattainably yours as a friend. finally bracing yourself to meet his eyes from almost a foot above you, you spun, his arms falling from your shoulders to your forearms.

smiling up at the familiar face of the love of your life, you said into his ear, “of course you can dance with me.”

dancing with harry was nothing sexy or erotic but it was the most intimate you’d ever been with him, before last night. harry loved to dance almost as much as you and the best part of his whole personality was nothing other than his devil-may-care disposition. it reminded you of the times he’d twirl you while you were stood somewhere completely out of the blue, or when he’d snap his fingers along to a song and by the time you’d joined in the two of you had broken out into a full dance routine just for the sheer fun of it.

harry grabbed your small, clammy hands and pulled you into him, and then straight back out as wild cherry played through the speakers and you inaudibly laughed at his initial dance moves.

“is that all you’ve got styles?” you smirked at him before laughing at the ridiculous version of the hustle he was trying to pull off. he looked way better than you’d ever want to declare, looking fresh out of the 70s whilst funk music played to his dance moves. it suited him down to a fine art and the song was tailor made for his steps. your hips circled to the song and you remembered just how much you love it. pulling out some more unconventional dance moves you went for the peace signs over your eyes and harry’s head fell back in laughter whilst watching you.

this was it. the perfect moment you were so afraid of losing with him. you understood now that whatever yours and harry’s union was, it was far stronger than you ever gave it credit for. harry and you were back to normal again and instead of last night’s beer goggles making you far more candid then you’d like, now your feelings were crystal clear. harry was all you’d ever want.

as boney m. began to fade in now harry’s dancing had become more intense and now the pair of you were far closer then you’d ever danced together before. one of his hands made a brave attempt at looping around your waist and spinning you, making your skirt flare up in the process. usually you’d be shy and care, but only harry was paying attention to you and the thought of him have a small peak at what was under your skirt didn’t even slightly bother you. one of your arms clutches his lean bicep and you moved in unison together, only inches away from one another now.

“i love watching you dance,” harry whisper-shouted in your ear. unprepared for that statement, you stare into his eyes as they flashed in the colours of the lights. his gaze is unfocused, undecided on if it will look into your own or watch your lips, dampened from the small lick you gave them. his own lips were distracting you as well, the bottom one pulled in by his teeth, a habit he picked up when he was feeling conflicted. you wished he wasn’t such a hard man to read. the only definite you held onto right now was that he wanted to kiss you, reaffirmed when his eyes closed and his head ducked to meet your own.

“harry,” you place a hand on his exposed chest, “i can’t kiss you.”

he knew why. he knew that it crossed the boundary you weren’t meant to cross again. but much like you that didn’t want to stop him. so, despite himself, harry ignored your remark and hesitantly placed his lips on yours. the feeling of his kiss muted the sounds around you and in desperation you urged him to kiss you harder. no matter the height difference between the two of you, harry and you still felt perfectly matched. harry’s hands came into your tangled hair and gripped at the top of your neck, his lips even firmer against yours at the new angle. this was far more passionate then last night, and you were seeing harry in a whole new light. he wasn’t just your friend, an unrequited love and now a one time sexual partner but something more on par with your own emotions. harry’s zealous kiss seemed to correspond with all the feelings you had never spoken about him. but then he pulled away, leaving you empty again. you frowned at him, “why did you stop?”

he simply smiled back at you, soothing your nerves, and took your hand as he pulled you through the crowds to a curtained doorway. the room he took you to was a semi circle, the wall surrounded by a settee, and the floor was carpeted and plush with cushions and blankets. it reminded you of a harem, which made you question harry’s choice of destination. it was far quieter in here, the music now a dull bass in the background.

“why are we in here?” you looked over to harry who had already taken a seat on the sofa.

“i thought you’d want more privacy,” he grinned at you. harry’s attitude towards the whole thing was starting to irritate you instead now. why was he acting like this whole thing was so casual? did it not affect him like it did you?

“you’re kidding right? what even is this?” you scoff at him, crossing your arms across your chest. you were pissed.

harry’s brows creased in confusion, “what’s the matter?”

“what’s the matter? how can you ask me that? things are different now harry and you know it.”

he knew it. he just couldn’t find the courage to tell you that he’d wanted things to be this way for the past 2 years. it’s why he was constantly cracking jokes or messing around with you, making you smile and laugh brought him more joy then anything else in his life. it’s why he was so overwhelmed by white hot jealousy when he saw your mouth around that arsehole sound tech’s dick.

“jesus, y/n we’re friends aren’t we? why do we have to talk about that anyway, we’re having fun.”

“because harry,” you huff at him, “unlike you my feelings are a little bruised from last nights events.”

his eyes momentarily filled with guilt, “i know that was- not decent of me.”

“uh you think? i love you harry but you’re not pulling this crap on me again,” you tried to sound stern but his eyes melted you. you looked away but his hand reached for yours. this was it though. your temper had gotten the better of you and you were ready to leave him here and say goodbye to any relationship you formerly had with him. if he did anything again to you like he did last night you were sure your dignity would crumble into unfixable pieces. sighing, you finish off by telling him, “i can’t do this anymore harry.”

“i don’t want to lose you,” harry’s eyes were filled with pleading.

“you should have thought about that before i put your cock in my mouth,” you snapped at him. you hated to admit that saying out loud what you and harry had done had turned you on immensely. harry’s pupils dilated in synchronisation with yours. he played right into this.

“so you’d never do it again?” why was he asking you this?

“no. i wouldn’t.” he wouldn’t get the satisfaction of knowing what he did to you anymore. even though the sight of him with his half buttoned silk shirt, damp with sweat as he lounged on the settee, his high waisted trousers spread apart along his long legs made your legs feel like mush. your voice was so convincing that harry’s face fell and in an instant you wanted to eat your words.

“y/n, i’m sorry if i overstepped,” he stood up and wiped his hands on his trousers, “do you wanna just go back to being friends?”

there was only one right answer to that question;

“fuck no.”

you jumped harry then and there and he fell back onto the padded seat, hands strongly gripping your waist. you quickly kissed him and in shock you retreated, your eyes locking, before connecting your lips with him again. his hands move south to your hips and then to your buttocks, giving your scantily clad cheeks a squeeze. you knew from a past discussion harry was an ass man, after a few drinks together one night you were talking about likes and dislikes. it reminded you of one preference in particular. grabbing a fistful of his hair, you tugged it gently and an audible moan fell in between his lips against yours.

“fuck, y/n do that again,” he mumbled into your mouth and you responded with another pull on his curls. his hips jerked up to meet the middle of your legs and between the thin material of his trousers and nothing covering your crotch other then the thin material of your underwear, little was left to the imagination. you could feel harry’s erection growing the more your hand tangled into his hair. your bare thighs clutched tightly by harry’s hands and you could tell they were longing to hold your bare ass. with your other hand on harry’s bicep, you moved it down to his hand and guided it up along your cheek and he hummed in satisfaction.

“hey harry,” you spoke into the kiss, “you remember california?”

how could he forget- you had spent the whole day drinking on the beach and that was where you had confessed about all your likes and dislikes, giggling like little kids the whole time. who knew that several months later that secret information would become so beneficial?

“what about it?” he asked as your lips traced down his neck to his chest.

“do you remember what i told you?”

a switch flipped in harry’s head and he suddenly knew what you wanted. his thigh came between your legs and you put your weight onto it eagerly, and his hands rocked you back and forth on the cotton of his slacks. the friction was exactly what you needed and you had never been more thankful that harry had listened so intently to your confession; you loved dry humping.

harry’s gaze was on you as you continued to grind on him, and the sight was enough to turn him from semi to fully hard.

“does that feel good?” harry asked you and you were too shy to answer him, only whimpering in response, “tell me y/n.”

“it feels so good harry,” you moaned out. your pace had begun to quick as you needily searched for your release. you could feel your wetness seeping into the material against his thigh and a faint squelching noise could be heard underneath your mewls of satisfaction. your hand fell across the bridge of his nose, outlining his sharp cheekbone and rest along his neck, licking his lips as he watches you get yourself off on him.

on a normal occasion, you’d be too embarrassed to ever ride someone’s thigh, it made you the centre of their attention and that frightened you. but knowing that harry’s undivided recognition was different. you loved having his hands and eyes all over your body. not that he knew, but it was his after all. if he wanted it to, it could belong to him.

“harry,” you gasped, “i’m going to cum.”

to know he was about to witness your undoing just like you’d seen his thrilled him.

“cum for me y/n,” harry pushed your hips for you, gripping the flesh of your ass, and rolling you back and forth till you let out a sob as you came all over his thigh. your forehead fell onto harry’s shoulder as you recollected yourself. that was the first time you had ever cum just from humping. and it was on harry’s leg. the familiar blush crept up your arms to your neck and cheeks and you couldn’t bare to lift your head off of harry’s shoulder.

“y/n,” harry’s voice gently interrupted, “not to rush you or anything but my trousers really are soaked.”

his fingers slid down your thighs to help you off of his leg, your own like that of a baby deer. you weren’t expecting harry to unbuckle his belt and slip his trousers off his legs, the thick wet patch taking up a lot of the fabric.

“what are you doing?”

“well you don’t expect me to keep them on do you?”

“i sort of thought you’d just leave again.”

harry’s face flushed in shame, “i am really sorry i did that last time, y/n. it was a dick move.”

“just a little,” you give him a half smile to let him know you couldn’t stay mad at him. stood in awkward silence, your panties dripping with your cum and harry in nothing but a shirt and boxers, you didn’t know what to say. it wasn’t common  that you’d find an uncomfortable lack of words to say to harry.

finally, after one too many moments in silence, harry beckoned you with his finger, “c’mere.”

suddenly you found yourself snugly wrapped in his arms, your cheek to his chest as he held you.

“harry i-“

“don’t just yet please.”

so you stayed that way for a little longer. you realised that this could be the last chance you hold him like this, so you mentally noted every last thing about him you loved. his smell, typically of gucci, but underneath the artificial scent a more clean, personal one of clean bedding and shampoo. his arms, and how their length seemed to engulf you better than any of the softest, plushest bedding in existence. his lips that you could feel on the top of your head and how the feeling of them on your own was tattooed to you now. you knew that if you ever kissed anyone in the future it couldn’t penetrate the lasting layer of his.

he pulled away from you a few moments later, looking down over you. searching his eyes for any clues to his own thoughts from under your lashes, you found nothing. it didn’t mean you were expecting what came next.

as you started, “i understand if you don’t want to do this anymo-“

“i love you.”

the words hung in the air in stunned silence, and you were in too much of a state of shock to know how to take them. he loved you? was he saying the way he always did or did he mean he loved you the way you loved him?

“harry you don’t mean that you.. does that mean you, like, love-me-love-me?” you sounded like a teenager, your juvenile question was all you could muster up.

“i’ve always loved you y/n,”

“i know you have bu-“

“will you just let me finish please?” his fingers pressed against your lips to silence you, “you always talk without actually listening. let me a second please.

“i realised that you’ve never been my friend. don’t interrupt. you were never my friend because you were always like way more than that. friend seemed too small a word for us, you know? and then that day after i saw you and that shitty sound tech fucking in your room i was so angry and jealous and then i realised how much i wanted to be in his place. but you and me had already had such a good relationship i was worried i would ruin it by changing our dynamic. then on the night i met camila, you were so distant from me. i was upset and camila was into me so i was going to fuck her, but i couldn’t. i haven’t had sex with anyone since i saw you and-“

“his name was josh.”

“y/n i really couldn’t give a fuck what his name was. but anyway last night that prick wouldn’t leave you alone and i had to do something, and i wasn’t planning on taking things where they went but by the time you’d brought up my tattoos i was in too deep. i hate that i left you last night. i wanted to say all of this then, but i was too scared. so i left and hoped things would go back to normal between us. but our normal is nothing compared to what we had last night.”

overwhelmed, you sat down on the settee, leaning back to accommodate all of this information.

“so you want to be with me?” you asked him, still not believing it for yourself.

harry beamed at you, “i know, crazy right?”

“i just- i,” you stuttered over your lack of words.

“you don’t have to feel the same why i just figured it was best to be honest.”

you couldn’t help it, but you snorted at him, “you’re kidding right? i have not wanted anything more in my entire life.“

harry knelt down in front of you, and from this height you to were level. you could see eye to eye as equals now. his lips came to your forehead and softly kissed you there, your eyes fluttering closed. it was contentment to know he was finally yours. moving even closer to you, harry moved your legs aside and came between them and you had to prevent him from getting too close so your still-damp panties didn’t come into contact with his expensive shirt.

“you know,” you could feel harry’s lips turn upwards into a smirk on your forehead, “this means you don’t have to feel quite as worried about me fucking you anymore. i’m yours now, y/n.”

he lowered onto the back of his heals, taking his head to the level of your breasts, and he moved back a bit to take in the sight of you. you had to have been a mess, your black eyeliner probably smudged and your hair knotted around your head. your legs were still wide apart, giving harry the greatest opportunity to see under your little tartan skirt.

his pupils widen at the sight, “i can’t believe i’ve never seen you in a skirt like this before. you look so cute in it. it gives me great opportunity to do this,” his hands slid up your thighs slowly and surely, eventually coming down so that they were on the inside of your legs, just before your crotch. you were at his mercy at this angle, and he used it to his advantage. his long fingers brushed up against your clothed core and you whimpered at the sensitivity.

“are you still sore from earlier?”

you nodded and swallowed the nervous lump in your throat. his fingers moved up towards your hips, bumping your clit in the process and grabbed the sides of your tight underwear. pulling them down your legs, he got to see your pussy for the very first time. mouth practically salivating at the sight of your already wet lips, he began kissing along the insides of your legs, working inwards from the knee. he stopped at the edge of your thighs, teasing you with no touch. you hips were writhing at the need for contact and he pinned your thighs down, restricting you.

“i want to undress you first.”

his nimble fingers make quick work of the tiny buttons on your cardigan and it only just occurred to you that you’re not wearing a bra underneath. your bare sternum is exposed and you can tell harry is surprised to find you completely naked behind the cardi. slipping it off your shoulders, your perky breasts are finally unleashed for harry’s viewing.

“we never fucked,” you blurred out.

“what do you mean?”

“me and josh never had sex. i haven’t actually had sex in about two years.”

harry’s jaw sunk slightly at your confession, “but- how haven’t you?”

you felt embarrassed by this. no one ever compared to harry so why would you waste your time on them? you mostly only fooled around with josh because you needed a distraction from harry’s constant sex appeal.

“well josh and me never actually got around to it since he left the crew and aside from him there hasn’t been anyone else.”

you couldn’t believe you were saying this to him right after he’d undressed you, the air con hardening your nipples. harry couldn’t really concentrate on what you were saying, especially when his name was mentioned and your breasts were on full display to him. ignoring your rambling, harry’s mouth came down onto your right nipple, circling it with his tongue and ending your words with a gasp. your nipples were more sensitive then you’d initially realised, or maybe it was just because it was harry’s mouth encapsulating them, but the sensation felt like enough to make you cum from that alone.

“harry, i,” you sighed out breathily. sentences weren’t able to be formed presently, it was all too much. not for harry though, who had no qualms about saying, “i want to fuck you in nothing but that little skirt.”

you tried to press your thighs together, his words jolted down to your clit and you needed some kind of release. harry’s mouth went back to your boobs and down the valley in the middle, licking down it, to your pierced belly button and finally his head disappeared under your skirt. you instinctively placed your feet up on either side of the sofa to spread your pussy even further for his access.

his tongue mercilessly licked up from your taint to your clit and you bucked in delight.  the muscle of his tongue pressed hard against the sensitive ball of nerves in quick movements, lapping at it rhythmically. you couldn’t control the volume of your moans now, cussing incoherently to him. but it wasn’t enough, you needed harry fully.

pulling his hair, you were so close to cumming but you couldn’t let it happen yet, not till he’d been inside you.

“harry stop,” you manage to get out, “i need you in me.”

he drew back as soon as you spoke and you leant forward to unbutton his shirt, but you lost your balance as you go forward, falling on top of him onto the cushioned floor. you both burst into giggles at your clumsiness, it was something that you joked about a lot together. you hadn’t loved anyone more then you loved harry right now, his chuckles like music to your ears as you lay on him nearly naked, his curls sat on his forehead.

“i love you,” harry told you, his hand cupping your cheek from below.

“i love you too,” leaning to kiss him, you moved your hand down and gripped his erection, forcing a moan from his lips, “now make love to me.”

he wasted no time in finishing off unbuttoning the rest of his shirt, and you ground your hips into his erection, forcing a groan from his lips. you were so close to feeling harry inside you, only boxers in the way of you two. you sat back and slipped them off his hips. before you got a chance to line him up with your walls, harry interrupted you, “are you in birth control?”

“yes,” you blushed. he smirked at you as he grabbed his hard cock in his hand and positioned it with you. you sunk down ont his cock, sighing is feel yourself being filled. you had craved this feeling for far too long, and harry filled you so well.

“fuck, y/n,” harry’s eyes closed when you engulfed him fully. adjusting, you began to bob up and down on his dick slowly, getting used to the foreign sensation. it stung a little bit as you hadn’t been filled in so long, but the need for harry numbed any of the pain. harry’s sweaty hands came up to cup your breasts, playing with your nipples as you began to quicken your pace.

“how do i feel inside you? does it feel good?”

you could only nod back, his cock hitting your g spot so well from this angle. as you began to speed up, your tits bounced delectably in front of harry’s face and he had to take over dominance, slamming his hips up to meet your own. his erection pounded into you, your mouth eliciting depraved whines. your skirt was swinging around your barely clothed ass and giving harry only sneaky glimpses of how the two of you were connected.

with harry’s hips moving more erratically, you could tell he was close.

you leant your mouth into his ear to whisper, “i want you to cum inside me.”

that was enough to tip harry over the edge, and so you could both finish together he reached his thumb under your skirt and thumbed your clit, sending your body into a heavenly orgasm. harry unloaded into your walls as you clenched around him, the both of you finishing in unison. flopping down onto his chest, he left his cock in you, both too fucked out to move yet. when he had softened, he slipped out of you, making you wince at the feeling.

“so,” you said into harry’s chest, “does that mean you’re mine now?”

his hand rubbed the small of your back, “i’m yours.”

[tog-resources-archive]

TRENDS IN THE OLD GUARD FANDOM: JULY STATS

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ So, a lot of people have constantly mentioned there was an overwhelming preference for TopJoe/BottomNicky fics at the start of the fandom in July which eventually evened itself out. Personally, I didn’t start reading for this fandom until August so I’ve always been skeptical of the assertion, since I wasn’t there to witness anything happening directly after the movie came out and as the fandom was born. Therefore, I decided to make an excel sheet and create a resource that gives statistics for the actual Top/Bottom ratio in Explicit Joe/Nicky fics for the month of July on AO3. 

But why, you ask? Especially since, as many people have said, top or bottom positions do not matter? (And truly, they don’t. As far as characterization is concerned.)

Well, a lot of people (many who also say that top/bottom doesn’t matter) use it as an indicator of preference for a character. From what I can understand, stating a preference for Top!Joe is the equivalent of saying you think Joe is “the angry, brown man” and that the lack of tagged Bottom!Joe fics show that no one thinks that Joe can be soft or taken care of or appreciated. And I’ve seen a lot of “you know why” as a reasoning for fandom’s lack of interest in these fics. Which I assume is racism. Or Islamophobia, in Joe’s case. 

Of course, this is purely from what I’ve observed. Please let me know if that’s not the case for you, and if Top!Joe/Bottom!Joe has different connotations for you. My Ask Box is always open for respectful discussion.

And so, the tagged fics have become a representation of the fandom’s views on Joe, from these assumptions. AND because I’m going insane in these trying historical times just like everyone else, I thought I would see what the actual numbers are. Just for the record. 

Personally, I have no preference. I don’t care who tops who and in what position. What DO I care about? Facts, excel, and not baselessly assuming the worst of the fandom and their motives. 

In addition to this, I decided to take a look at the Femslash content of the fandom. As I did more research, I noticed the complete focus on the men in this fandom, men who are technically side characters to the two main female leads, and though it isn’t something unique to this fandom, it is something we should pay more attention to. I find that a lot more concerning than sexual positions in an mlm relationship. 

Without further ado, The Stats:

So, to explain my methods: 

First, I sorted the stories by Date Posted. (Fics are only listed as July Fics if they posted in July, this is to filter out stories that have updated since then.) I counted the total number of July Fics. Each page contains 20 fanfictions.

Next, I filtered out all non-english fics, since I can’t verify their content, and excluded crossovers before counting up the total amount of Explicit fic.

Then I filtered for only Joe/Nicky fics. After that I went through each fic and marked down whether they were top, bottom, switch, or no dynamic (non-penetrative sex). Some are marked Other because they’re only explicitly violent or contain OT3, OMCs, or rape with OMCS.

What you see above is the total number of fics, the amount of Top/Bottom/Switch/etc, and what’s their percentage of total fic. Additionally, I listed how many top or bottom fics were tagged and the percentage of tagged fic for each category. 

What conclusions can we draw from this? 

One, that by July 31st, TopJoe/Bottom Nicky makes up 35% of fics. BottomJoe/TopNicky makes up 22% and No-Dynamic is 25%. There's a slight lead for TopJoe/Bottom Nicky fics, but barely. The other categories combined outstrip it. 

Two, what I find most interesting is that people who write TopJoe/BottomNicky fics are nearly twice as likely to tag their fics, and only 20% of the fics posted were tagged at all. 

So, if it seems like there’s a huge difference between the two types of explicit fic? It’s because some people tag and some don’t. And those who write non-penetrative sex, of course, won’t be tagging anything. 

Please keep in mind when making sweeping generalizations that you should take these things into account. I’ve seen too many times that people just “feel” like there’s a difference. It isn’t that hard to figure out the actual numbers. I will be continuing with later months to chronicle the actual fandom trends.

***I will also be posting my color coded list of fics with titles, fic author names, and tags under Keep Reading so that anyone can verify my information (I may have messed up a number or two so please feel free to replicate!)***

Now, you know what I find more interesting? The Femslash fics. In comparison, the work to find those stats was laughable. Joe/Nicky took me several hours, sorting out the Femslash fics took me a few minutes. 

If we are going to discuss any sort of disparity of content, I would start there first. Joe/Nicky, as much as I love them, were not the only queer, interracial relationship in this fandom and neither Joe nor Nicky are the main characters. 

So, for these stats, I followed the same filtering methods listed above, and only listed Explicit fics. Instead of Top/Bottom breakdown I included pairings.

As you can see… this was easy enough to do since there were only 8 explicit fics posted for the month of July. I won’t be including the list of fics like I will be with Joe/Nicky since I would like to do a separate post for Femslash fics. However, if you’re going to be talking about the difference in fic distribution… maybe start here. 

If there are any other “trends” you would like me to catalogue and provide statistics for, please let me know! 

FIC LIST: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[deonideatta]

hi hi i heard you like chief kim and i'm here to get all the intel on why it's a good drama 😊 and what you love about park jae bum's other dramas 😊 pls let me know if there's romance bc that's the oxygen i breathe when i watch a show 💕

Hello!!! Thank you for asking me about Chief Kim!!!! I can go on about it for ages lol. This got a bit long so i’m putting it under a cut

Chief Kim (aka Good Manager) is a comedy office drama with 20 eps, and it aired in 2017. There isn’t a main romance plotline, but don’t let that put you off! It’s an incredible drama in so many ways. (tho there is a subtle romance side plot, but it doesn’t involve the main character and it’s never the main focus, though it is cute). It does feature a bromance that was so great that the two actors literally won an award for it tho lol, so there’s also that!

In a way, the general premise is somewhat similar to Vincenzo in that it’s the main character and an unlikely team of others fighting a big corporation. The comedic tone is also more or less the same. The drama follows Kim Seong Ryong (the titular Chief Kim, played by Namgoong Min), a man with a talent for handling numbers who goes from running a seedy accounting firm to quite accidentally becoming a champion of employees rights in one of the biggest corporations in the country. He originally joins the company with the goal of embezzling a lot money and moving abroad, but he gets swept up in office politics surrounding high executives and the sinister goings on surrounding the position he was recruited for, as well as the shady things the higher-ups want him to do and the suspicion of the other members of his department. Eventually he starts to work alongside them to fight the corruption of the higher ups, and quickly becomes the bane of top management’s existence by being so incredibly annoying that they begin to regret hiring him.

It’s the kind of drama that really gets you to laugh, while still being incredibly heartwarming. The main character is so unashamedly funny, and the character dynamics are all so warm, and none of it ever seems forced. The first tag for the drama on MyDramaList is “character development”, and that says a lot! There’s so much growth that goes on for all the characters, even some of the villains! It’s especially funny because to begin with all the good things Kim Seong Ryeong does are completely by accident, and he’s annoyed but also pleased with all the attention it gets him. Over time he begins to own it, and begins to actively try to stand up to the corrupt people at the top of the company. The other highlight for me besides the humor is definitely the characters. From the eccentric main character, to the no-nonsense second in command in his department Yoon Ha Kyung, to the aggressive finance director Seo Yul who is always eating (one of my all time favourite characters, played by 2PM’s Junho), to the janitor lady who always roasts everyone, there isn’t a single dull character, whether good or bad. And Seo Yul gets one of the best character arcs I’ve ever seen in a kdrama. You get to watch the characters struggle and triumph, and you feel for them because their struggles feel so real, and the drama really gets you invested in them. You see the ways in which they fight to survive as normal working class citizens and you want them to win.

It differs from Vincenzo in that the main character isn’t considered evil and loses his less savoury traits over the course of the drama (his character arc is one of becoming a more upstanding citizen), and the message is one of fighting against corporate greed using the corporate system against itself in order to make things better for the average working citizen. But there’s the same plotting, and the same feeling of rooting for the protagonist team to win as you watch them plot and plan. I never rewatch things, but i’ve rewatched Chief Kim twice already and i’m looking forward to rewatching it again soon (just writing about it is making me want to rewatch it right now lol). It especially hits well for me because i love office dramas, and the humor and the bromance are just right. (Also, not entirely related, but it’s the first drama Kim Seonho was in!)

Another Park Jaebum drama i can definitely recommend is The Fiery Priest! It’s also a comedy action drama with 20 eps (released in 2019), and it follows Kim Hae Il (Kim Nam Gil), a catholic priest with a real temper, as he works to solve the mystery surrounding the death of a senior priest. No romance there either, but it’s got the same humor as Chief Kim and Vincenzo, and the same overarching found family trope (that really shines for this one). It’s darker than Chief Kim, but not as dark as Vincenzo. The plot is very intriguing, and it’s the kind of drama you feel compelled to keep watching to see what happens next. And the host of characters in that drama is still one of my favourites to this day. Every character was incredibly written, and they all played vital roles in the overall story. Again, lots of character development all round, and great character arcs not just for the main character (even for a few of the villains!). Plus it was lovely to watch the various characters interact, get closer, and build relationships. Such an iconic squad. Not to mention how funny it is?? And the fight scenes??? In fact, I enjoyed it so much that when I checked Park Jaebum’s page on MyDramaList after watching it around June last year and saw Vincenzo as an upcoming project, I added it to my plan to watch list immediately even though there was only a single line of synopsis lol. It’s also got an absolute banger of a soundtrack!

When you think about it, all three (Chief Kim, TFP and Vincenzo) can be simplified to “guy with dubious past sets out to fight corruption and creates a great support circle in the process”. All three are dramas of finding people who care about you and are willing to fight alongside you, and fighting for your convictions/what you think is right. Each main character starts out as a somewhat solitary figure, and you get to watch as they each find people who are willing to fight alongside them and support them. What exactly those specific convictions are varies in each drama, but Park Jaebum writes the character development arcs incredibly each time, and the relationships between the characters are so real and so satisfying to watch. And yet the integrity of the main character in each drama is never compromised either, it’s shown that they can grow and become better without losing themselves. The growth is also in the way that they learn to work with and rely on others, because teamwork makes the dream work. And then to cap it all off he lets them have victories, and he makes it SO satisfying??? There are highs and there are lows, and you feel all of those right there with the characters, which makes the victories feel so so good. In each we see the ensemble cast get involved with the fight and the plotting, and we get to see all their epic plans and their execution, and the victories they win that build up over time. And it’s so satisfying to me! I love it a lot, just thinking about it is making me smile lol. It also shows how well humor and darker/more serious plotlines/events are balanced in the dramas, neither is compromised in favour of the other, but it always works so well that the humor never feels forced or out of place. As someone who doesn’t like overbearingly dark shows, I really appreciate that. They all give you lots to laugh at, while not losing any of the plot to the funny.

Of course there are differences, notably the romance, and the fact that Vincenzo is bad vs bad rather than good vs bad like the other two. They deal more with redemption (especially The Fiery Priest), but that works for the stories that are being told, and it’s very well executed.

It’s worth noting that Park Jaebum also wrote Good Doctor and 4 seasons of God’s Quiz. I haven’t checked those out yet, but I’ve heard good things about all of them. He also wrote Blood, I haven’t seen that one either but opinions seem to be split on how good it was. All of those are medical dramas (which is the reason I haven’t watched them lol, i can’t stand medical dramas) from before 2017, when he wrote Chief Kim. It seems he’s been on a roll since then, good for him and good for us lol. You can see everything he’s written on his MyDramaList page.

Overall I enjoyed the Park Jaebum dramas I have seen for first and foremost the comedy, but also for the warmth of the character relationships and for how well developed/written each character is. And I love how he balances the humor with more poignant/darker moments, I laughed a lot watching all three dramas, but I’ve cried over each of them as well. It’s a good balance to have, it gives you a good plot to be interested in, but doesn’t keep you stressed and sombre the whole way through. I’ve seen people say that Vincenzo wouldn’t be as good if it wasn’t so wacky, and I fully agree. It’s the same for both TFP and Chief Kim, and that balance is definitely what I appreciate most in Park Jaebum’s dramas. I know I will laugh, but I also know I will get an incredible plot and incredible characters, and that’s really important for me. Plus I know I can trust that there will be a good ending because the writer cares about his characters.

I definitely recommend checking out both TFP and Chief Kim after Vincenzo is done, especially since they’re so similar in terms of comedic tone and basic plot direction. If you ever get to watching either of them feel free to hmu to chat about it!! There’s lots of plot stuff that can be can discussed.

lol this got v long (i have lots to say about how much i love these dramas haha), but I hope it’s helpful!!!

[redinkofshame]

 1. How many works do you have on AO3?

17! My favorite number.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

178,176. Dang!

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

@theDuckPond Solavellan slow burn? smlungst, 62,553 words

New Life papae!Solas with lots of smut, 6606 words

Marigolds in the Hanged Man Varrigold! :D Varric/Marigold, 43,527 words

(3.5 is Dreaming With You (Solas x Reader), but I’m only a partial writer on that one so I’m not counting it.)

Labor and Loss papae!Solas with lots of sad, 4097 words

Kirkwall Karaoke f!Fenhawke drunken shenanigans, 7023 words

Wow I wasn’t expecting my karaoke fic to be on this list! And you guys really like your papae!Solas :D

4. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I do, yes, because when I leave comments it gives me anxiety that only seeing them reply fixes and I want to do that for other people. Unfortunately back when I updated every week (lol) I got in the habit of replying to comments when I posted something new... So now when I go a long time without posting a new chapter I leave the comments on read for a long time. Sorry guys!!

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Honestly? This Nonsense. (Link is to a long series of messages to @keturagh at 3am, no joke.) 

But, since then, I’ve figured out an alternative ending that’s much happier. I can’t help it. I want happy endings.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

As per #5, all of them lol. The first one that came to mind was Marigolds, but honestly my soulmate au Vhenaslin feels the fluffiest to me. 

And, of course, there’s this one ;) 

7. Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I haven’t, not yet :( Like, I like the concept but no combination I’ve thought of has given me even the slightest bit of inspiration.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yep! I received one that was something like “Congrats! You’ve written the most insufferable OC I’ve ever read!!” and it was fucking hilarious because it was on, like, chapter 6? You read 6 chapters about a character you didn’t like and somehow it’s my fault?? lmao

There was another one I can’t remember, too, and twice people have called Elle a bitch. All of these happened to Elle from Duck Pond, so if that’s not a glowing recommendation~

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

ROFL yeah that’s why I’m here. Like literally why I joined the fandom. 

Everyone I’ve written is m/f and not particularly kinky but pretty damn explicit. Sometimes I do fade-to-black or gloss over for pacing, but mostly... Yeah. There’s smut. let Solas nut

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of. Sure af hope not.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope. At least, not that I know of!

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! There was a Solas x Reader post on tumblr that people were reblogging and adding a little more too, and I guess that the foreplay went on too long because @keturagh sent it to me like ‘you’re the expert of getting the P in the V!’ and I’ve never written Reader fic before (or since) but who am I to disappoint!! 

Then someone compiled it all and put it on AO3 here. I don’t have a damn clue where my writing begins -- other than I got the P in the V lol. Every once in a while I get a notification of a comment or kudos on it and  every SINGLE time I’m like

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Very clearly Solavellan. Though I’m also very into Opal/Nik from the Minimum Wage Magic books by Rachel Aaron. I listened to the audiobook because Patrick Weekes shared their reading list on twitter once and it was on there and I’m a HUGE sucker for juxtaposition. Gets me every time. 

I’ve since read uuuhhhh almost everything Rachel Aaron/Bachs has read, and there’s lots of great stuff in there, but MWM is still my favorite series of hers by far. My own personal Couch AU. 

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Uuhhhh.... So many? Or more like I’m scared I never will, in any case. I started drafting a list of my WIPs and it got... long. I can’t think of any I made a deliberate choice to never finish. There’s only 1 fic that I wrote that I didn’t post.

15. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue, pacing, and sex~ 

I consider my dialogue my biggest asset as a writer tbh

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

WRITING THE WORDS DOWN and also how do plot?

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

In the fandom there’s a tendency to write lines in elvhen and then put the translation at the end and yeah no it drives me bonkers. It completely destroys the immersion and pacing for no pay off. I’m not going to scroll down to understand your story. I just read it straight and try to figure out what’s going on based on context. 

I stick with the well-known canon lines that most of us obsessed fans know by heart. I think sometimes I put a translation in there for newcomers, maybe? One time I used a feature on AO3 where you can hover your mouse over the work and it has like a footnote? that you can use to translate. But I immediately stopped bc #1 I don’t know how that works on mobile and #2 it really doesn’t seem like that’s going to work with screen readers. But otherwise I just say ‘they said in elven’ or have the narrator translate it themself for the reader. 

Also, a lot of people use the elvhen translations from that BNF’s project and like... If you WANT him to say ‘I want to paint you with my cum’ then just have the courage to say it straight! 

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

lmao Harvest Moon. Yeah. After that was Tamora Pierce (modern girl in Tortall yep). Then was like a 15 year gap until I got frustrated at the slow pace of the romance with this egg in this game so I wanted to see if there was smut... (Cue Googling: Is FanFiction.Net still a thing?)

19. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Oh gosh. Hmm. I love all my girls, but Duck Pond was/is a major work of love. Unlike my short works I really had the chance to explore more in a full length fic, you know?

(Marigolds is also full length but it was my first fic and there’s some spots that I’m not too proud of.)

That’s all the questions but I’m adding:

20. What’s a fic you’re proud of that hasn’t gotten much attention?

because I want an excuse to mention how hard I worked on Kirkwall Noir and how I’m surprised how little readership it’s gotten. It’s Varric! It’s Marigold! It’s super short, unlike most my stuff. Maybe that’s why people don’t like it?

Hmm, I also used a AO3 pen name, but it would still show on my page, right? 

Thank you for the tags, @roguelioness and @thevikingwoman !!  Consider yourself re-tagged so you can answer #20. Also tagging: @blarfkey @broomclosetkink @elveny @bardinhightown @keturagh​ @luzial​ 

[make-me-imagine]

Headcanons: Being in quarantine with your boyfriend Steve Rogers

Requested by: Anonymous

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Gender: Neutral          Triggers: Subtle mentions of the virus

Notes: Sorry its a bit short, my cat died and I’m a bit bummed, plus I’m crampy and hormonal so it’s not been a great couple days. But I hope you like what I was able to write anyway :) Also, it’s Chris Evans birthday today (June 13th), so this was a great day to post this lol

✪ Steve would be one of the better people to be stuck in quarantine with

✪ He’s a bit antsy, and doesn’t like to be cooped up with nothing to do, but he easily fell into a routine that involved various indoor workouts throughout the day

✪ You two would come up with different ones every day. Stacking the chairs and lifting them like weights, counter/step hops, of even trying to make some sort of obstacle course to complete

✪ If you feel like being lazy Steve would threaten you to work out by either tickling or chasing you around the apartment

✪ Luckily no one lived below you so they didn’t have to deal with the noise of running and laughing

✪ Because Steve didn’t have all the equipment to work out like he normally does, you would help by sitting on his back as he did push ups, or hanging onto him for dear life as he did pull ups in the doorway

✪ You insisted be he shirtless for this, it’s easier for you to hold on, more traction

✪ Steve insists that you two get dressed everyday, not wanting to fall into a routine of pajamas as nothing-ness

✪ Twice a month, you would take turns planning a little date night

✪ One of you would hide in the other room for a while, while the other sets something up, and either cooks or orders food

✪ You two would dress up a bit, depending on the date night theme and eat dinner together

✪ This helped to shake things up and keep you two from going stir-crazy

✪ When Steve would get bored and didn’t want to work out he would go around cleaning everything

✪ The apartment would be spotless but he’d do it anyway, just for something to do. He’s rearranged the books in your apartment like 20 times.

✪ “Steve, where is the cookbook I used last night?” “It’s in the bookshelf in the bedroom” “WHY”

✪ Both of you would order groceries, or occasionally take the trip yourselves

✪ And every day you would try new recipes, and bake different desserts together

✪ Steve is a pretty decent cook, but not so great at baking

✪ The two of you would go out for late evening walks in a nearby park, often sitting on a bench watching the sunset

✪ You designate every evening as game and movie night

✪ The two of you would play some form of game - usually a board game or card game, as those were the ones Steve preferred

✪ Monopoly is forbidden

✪ Sometimes you would hop on some online game with Sam and Natasha

✪ At first Steve was hopeless but got into it eventually

✪ And once he did he was really good

✪ Once you were done with games, you would end the night catching up on Steve’s movie and tv show list

✪ Don’t tell Sam or Natasha, because Steve would never forgive you, but one of his favorites so far has been The Notebook. You’ve watched it a few times, and cry at the ending every time.

✪ Though I think Sam and Natasha have both seen it and love it too

✪ Even though you were quarantined, some bad guys were still roaming around, so every once and a while Steve would go out and beat some bad guys up, showing back up at the apartment in the middle of the night

✪ Let me tell you, it was a bit weird being a bad guy and having Captain America show up wearing a medical style face mask just to beat the shit out of you and leave you tied to a tree so some agents could come get you

✪ Every time he got back from these random missions he would shower before he even gave you a hello kiss or hug

✪ SHIELD scientists already figured Steve would be fine if he caught the virus, his genes would protect him and he wouldn’t have many symptoms if any at all

✪ But he could still pass it on, so he was afraid of you getting it from him so he was always really careful, and made sure you were safe and cautious

✪ Even though Steve would be antsy and bored he loved the amount of time he was able to spend with you

✪ Cuddling up on the couch together under a blanket watching moves quickly became his favorite part of the evening

✪ And it often ended with you two just falling asleep there

✪ You’d wake up to the smell of coffee and Steve cooking in the kitchen

✪ Anytime you’d wake up first you made a point of climbing on top of him and kissing him awake

✪ He can never help the smile and light blush that creeps onto his face as he opens his eyes and sees you grinning at him, with your fingers brushing through his hair

✪ Steve loves this, and will always wrap his arms around you before pulling you off of him so he can pull you into his chest and wrap his body around you

✪ You lay there for a few more minutes before convincing him to get up

✪ Lazy mornings became normal since there was really nothing else to do

✪ You two would keep each other sane, you two were enough alike that you never argued or fought

✪ Well actually, sometimes you would have little playful arguments - usually while playing games 

✪ They would never lead to real arguments, but they would lead to other things

✪ Sex, they would lead to sex

✪ Not every time though, sometimes it would lead to little tickle fights or pillow fights that ended when one of you gave up

✪ Whenever quarantine ends, both of you would actually miss being around each other all the time

✪ You were still dating so you did see each other often, not to mention you worked in the same field

✪ But the two of you decided to keep some of the routines that you came up with during quarantine

✪ Cooking new recipes all the time, game and movie night became a weekly thing, as did working out together

✪ Quarantine showed Steve that he could never live without you, and that he would do anything to keep the two of you together

[tigerkirby215]

5e Zac, the Secret Weapon build (League of Legends)

(Artwork by Christian Fell. Made for Riot Games.)

No one:

Literally no one:

@tigerkirby215​: “HEY FUCKERS WHO WANTS A ZAC BUILD?!”

Full disclosure: I watched Dorans and Dragon’s video for Zac and while it’s really well done (like really well done. I honestly suggest you watch it) I felt like it took a bit of an interesting direction. Ds&D and I have always had different ideas for our builds and I think with the release of Tasha’s there’s actually a lot of interesting new directions to take Zac in.

Also spoiler alert but this build is the most jank-ass fucking shit I have ever made but it strangely works really well? Like I literally sat on this build for two months debating if I should even post it. Also Zac’s a grappler, because of course he is.

GOALS

There's plenty of me to go around - Zac stretches and bounces and changes his shape more-or-less at will.

Why thanks; I do work out - Zac is one of those “hold you down for 10 seconds total in a teamfight” types of junglers.

I'm not as squishy as I look - Of course to be a big bundle of green goo we’ll need to be big. Like, really big.

RACE

END ME I’M MAKING A BUGBEAR! :D

Okay to be fair Bugbear hate is kinda overblown, especially by yours truly. You get +2 to Strength and a +1 to Dexterity as well as Darkvision and several other useful traits: you have a Powerful Build to carry more stuff, for one. You are also Sneaky and get proficiency with Stealth, which is nice because if you launch a Surprise Attack you can do an extra 2d6 damage.

But of course the main trait of a Bugbear is their Long-Limbed bodies. All your melee attacks have a 5 foot longer range, which is obviously important to make Stretching Strikes!

Custom Lineage: If you’re insistent on making a custom “goo creature” race with Tasha’s Cauldron of Everything rules here are my suggestions: make yourself Medium (yeah duh) and give yourself proficiency with the Athletics skill. Increase your Strength by 2 and take the Skilled Expert feat for Expertise in Athletics along with a +1 in Wisdom. You will have an uneven DEX score but I dunno just go for Athlete or something later in this build.

ABILITY SCORES

15; WISDOM - Braum isn’t the only champion who believes the heart is the strongest muscle, as if you’d read Zac’s lore he is actually quite a compassionate soul. Also we need Wisdom for our main ability.

14; CONSTITUTION - Zac is a tanky boy, so up the tankiness!

13; DEXTERITY - When you can stretch and squeeze like silly putty dexterity comes naturally. We need that dexterity to jump over walls, among other things.

12; STRENGTH - A lot of it is elastic strength, but if you’re going to throw Cho’gath into Shyvana you do also need upper body strength.

10; CHARISMA - He’s a nice guy when you get to know him, but Zac’s also a bunch of Zaun sewer goo.

8; INTELLIGENCE - Living in the sewers and then later being raised as a weapon means you don’t know any math, science, or history.

BACKGROUND

Zac did grow up in the streets, but the skills from the Urchin background don’t fit him well so we’ll be modifying it heavily. Take proficiency in Acrobatics to squash and stretch as well as Perception to keep those wards up. You can pick your choice of languages or tools because Zac kinda... doesn’t do much other than fight? I mean he’s literally called “the Secret Weapon” what do you want from me?

But your background feature of City Secrets is very useful for traveling the streets of Zaun, letting you find your way around alleys and jungle gank paths to travel through the city twice as fast as the average person! "Put some spring in your step."

(Artist unknown. Made for Riot Games.)

THE BUILD

LEVEL 1 - MONK 1

Been awhile since we’ve visited the good ol’ Monk class eh? Well you can grab Athletics finally, as well as Insight to know if someone’s worth clobbering. You also get proficiency with an artisan’s tool or musical instrument, and I mean... Zac still doesn’t have much lore.

But how about some class features? Monks get Unarmored Defense equal to their Wisdom plus their Dexterity, for 14 AC total. Would medium armor be better? Yes, but you can’t wear armor if you want to use Martial Arts! Martial Arts gives you a variety of benefits: you can punch with DEX or STR, your punches are now a d4 (and will scale as you get levels), and if you punch with your Action you can punch with a Bonus Action after the fact!

LEVEL 2 - MONK 2

Second level Monks get Ki points to use for a variety of features: Flurry of Blows lets you attack twice with your Bonus Action instead of once, Patient Defense lets you dodge as a Bonus Action, and Step of the Wind lets you Dash or Disengage as a Bonus Action. An important thing to mention about Step of the Wind is that it doubles your jump distance, for those big Elastic Slingshot jumps!

You can also put on some boots and get some Unarmored Movement. 10 more feet to be exact!

I guess I’m also obliged to mention Dedicated Weapon from Tasha’s Cauldron of Everything which lets you turn any weapon you’re proficient in into a Monk weapon as long as it’s not Heavy or Special. This will be important later but it’s not exactly in-character for Zac.

LEVEL 3 - MONK 3

Third level Monks get to choose their Monastic Tradition and Way of the Astral Self will give you some long stretchy limbs! As a bonus action you can spend 1 Ki to summon Arms of the Astral Self. When you do so, each creature of your choice that you can see within 10 feet of you must succeed on a Dexterity saving throw or take force damage equal to two rolls of your Martial Arts die due to your Unstable Matter.

Your arms will stay up for 10 minutes and give the following benefits:

You can use your Wisdom modifier in place of your Strength modifier when making Strength checks and Strength saving throws.

You can use the spectral arms to make unarmed strikes, which has the following benefits:

The reach of the arms is 5 feet greater than normal, which stacks with your Bugbear arms. 15 foot reach with extra stretchy arms!

The unarmed strikes you make with the arms can use your Wisdom modifier in place of your Strength or Dexterity modifier for the attack and damage rolls, and their damage type is force.

You can also absorb some blows with Deflect Missiles. When you are hit by a ranged weapon attack you can use your reaction to reduce the damage by 1d10 + your DEX mod + your monk level. If you reduce the damage to 0, you can catch the missile. You can then spend 1 ki point to throw it back as part of the same reaction. You make this attack with proficiency, regardless of your weapon proficiencies, and the missile counts as a monk weapon for the attack, which has a normal range of 20 feet and a long range of 60 feet.

Tasha’s Cauldron of Everyone also gave Monks the Ki-Fueled Attack ability which pretty much doesn’t impact you in the slightest.

LEVEL 4 - MONK 4

4th level Monks get an Ability Score Improvement but we’re instead going to grab the Skilled Expert feat. You can increase your Wisdom by 1 and grab proficiency in Survival for optimal jungle clear. But what we’re mainly here for is to make our hands extra sticky with expertise in Athletics! Is the build starting to make sense now?

You can also land safely after an Elastic Slingshot jump thanks to Slow Fall, reducing fall damage by 5 times your Monk level. If you want to keep yourself in the fight then Quickened Healing (also from TCoE, because that book really likes giving new Monk features) will let you take advantage of Cell Division for 2 Ki points, healing you for a number rolled on your Martial Arts die plus your Proficiency bonus. It’s not much but in a pinch it might save you!

LEVEL 5 - MONK 5

5th level Monks get an Extra Attack, so you can punch twice with your action, and then punch some more with your Bonus Action! You can also bring some heavy CC into the party with Stunning Strike; if you hit an enemy in melee you can force a Constitution save or stun them! Yes actual honest-to-god League of Legends stun!

Oh and because Tasha’s Cauldron really wanted to buff the Monk you get Focused Aim, letting you use up to 3 Ki points to increase your roll to hit, at a 2:1 ratio. (1 Ki point = +2 to hit)

(Artwork by SemLimit on DeviantArt.)

LEVEL 6 - BARBARIAN 1

Jumping over to Barbarian, land of the true tanks. Barbarians get Unarmored Defense based on Constitution that we won’t be using but I’m obliged to mention anyways. Of course what we’re here for is Rage which will augment you in a number of ways: you’ll resist Bludgeoning, Piercing, and Slashing damage and will do more damage with Strength-based attacks (which you probably won’t be making.) But the most important feature is this line right here:

You have advantage on Strength checks and Strength saving throws.

You know what’s a Strength check? Athletics! So even if you use Wisdom for it you’ll still have Advantage on top of Expertise! And Athletics is used for grappling! At least that’s how I’d rule it, but talk to your DM just to make sure they’ll let this dopey shit into their game.

LEVEL 7 - BARBARIAN 2

Second level Barbarians can let themselves go with Reckless Attack. Your Unstable Matter will give you advantage on your attack at the cost of giving enemies advantage to hit you.

You also get Danger Sense for advantage on Dexterity saves against effects you can see coming. Is a Jinx rocket heading your way? Slingshot out of there!

LEVEL 8 - BARBARIAN 3

Tasha’s Cauldron of Everything gave Barbarians Primal Knowledge for a free skill proficiency from the Barbarian list, so take Intimidation I guess because you are a huge freaky slime guy.

Third level Barbarians get to choose their Primal Path and guess what? It’s Totem Warrior time! As a Spirit Seeker you can cast Speak With Animals and Beast Sense as a Ritual but we all know that’s not what we’re here for. What we’re really here for is the Totem Spirit of the Bear. You can now resist all damage while Raging, with the exception of Psychic damage. Hey there has to be %health damage to deal with tanks after all. (Now if only they’d nerf Grievous Wounds.)

LEVEL 9 - MONK 6

This will be our last Monk level; sad I know. But it’s worth it for the Visage of the Astral Self. You can use a Bonus Action and a Ki point to summon the visage. (And can do it while summoning your arms.) While the spectral visage is present, you gain several benefits:

Astral Sight lets you see through magical (and nonmagical) darkness up to 120 feet.

Wisdom of the Spirit gives you advantage on Wisdom (Insight) and Charisma (Intimidation) checks.

And Word of the Spirit lets you either whisper in team chat to a creature of your choice that you can see within 60 feet of you, or shout in all chat so that everyone within 600 feet can hear you.

Your regular fists are also considered magical thanks to Ki-Empowered Strikes, and you get 5 more feet of Unarmored Movement! "Woohoo!"

(Artwork by Dragonflamebg on DeviantArt.)

LEVEL 10 - FIGHTER 1

Teamfight time? Team Fighter time! First level Fighters get a Fighting Style and since you’re punching people your only real option is Superior Technique, giving you a d6 Combat Superiority die to use on a Battle Master Manuever. That Manuever shall be Grappling Strike, letting you grapple as a Bonus Action after punching someone for some Stretching Strikes!

You can also heal with Cell Division assuming the enemy team doesn’t stack Grievous Wounds thanks to Second Wind; it’s a d10 plus your Fighter level. "Keep it together."

LEVEL 11 - FIGHTER 2

Second level Fighters get Action Surge for even more punching! This will be more important in like, two levels.

LEVEL 12 - FIGHTER 3

Third level Fighters get to choose their Martial Archetype and for some crowd control in a teamfight Battle Master is a great choice. You are a Student of War which means more tool proficiencies which make no sense because Zac has no lore woo! But of course what we’re mainly here for is Combat Superiority: you have four d8 Superiority Die (plus a d6 one from your Fighting Style) which you can use on a variety of Maneuvers:

Trip Attack is good if you want to bounce, forcing the target you hit to make a Strength save or fall over!

Distracting Strike is like stunning the target in the sense that it gives your allies an opening, but unlike Trip Attack you don’t have to force a saving throw. (Instead Distracting Strike just works after you hit them!)

And if you think your arms aren’t stretchy enough already? Boom; Lunging Attack for 20 foot reach!

LEVEL 13 - FIGHTER 4

4th level Fighters get an Ability Score Improvement: hey it’s everyone’s favorite feat Grappler! You have advantage on attacks against enemies you grappled, and if you’re grappling someone you can then pin them to hold them in place!

Now pinning someone you’ve grappled does take an action but here’s where Action Surge comes in: turn 1? Grab them. Turn 2? Pin them! Easy!

LEVEL 14 - FIGHTER 5

5th level Fighters get an Extra Attack... which you already have. "I hate it when this happens."

LEVEL 15 - FIGHTER 6

Hey more Ability Score Improvements! Want all the fun of a high Constitution score without the Constitution? Look no further than the Tough feat: it gives you +2 HP per level for some big gains!

(Artwork by GisAlmeida on DeviantArt.)

LEVEL 16 - FIGHTER 7

7th level Fighters get to Know Your Enemy: by spending a minute studying someone (IE looking at the scoreboard) you can learn if an enemy is superior, inferior, or equal to you in a number of areas described by the ability.

You also get one more Combat Superiority die and learn two more Maneuvers: Goading Attack will make it harder for enemies to hit your friends (and it works against Tier 4 enemies who likely resist fears), and Disarming Attack will let you stick your hand to your opponent’s weapon to make them drop it!

LEVEL 17 - FIGHTER 8

8th level means more ASIs and I’m starting to think ignoring all your stats was a bad idea. More Wisdom means better punches, better grabs, and better AC.

LEVEL 18 - FIGHTER 9

9th level Fighters get Indomitable, letting them reroll a failed saving throw once per Long Rest. Regardless of what you roll on the new die however you have to use the new result. This can be used on Death saves to try to keep alive a little longer thanks to Cell Division.

LEVEL 19 - FIGHTER 10

10th level Battle Masters get Improved Combat Superiority. Your superiority die are d10s now; even the one from your Fighting Style! You do also learn more Maneuvers but honestly? We got just about everything that we need already. If you’ve hit level 19 playing Zac League of Legends then you deserve to make some choices of your own.

LEVEL 20 - FIGHTER 11

Our final level is the 11th level of Fighter for an Extra Attack that does stack! That means you have 3 attacks total and one extra from Martial Arts!

FINAL BUILD

PROS

Beat up, or beat down? I'm flexible - No matter how you look at it 4 attacks per round is great, especially since you can give yourself Advantage and boost your damage output with Battle Master Maneuvers.

Pick on someone your own size - If everything goes well you should have a solid 200 health by level 20! Definitely nothing to sneeze at, especially with Rage giving you resistance to almost everything and Second Wind letting you heal yourself!

This is gonna get messy - You’ve got a +16 to Athletics checks for Grappling when using your Astral Arms, and can give yourself Advantage or add Superiority die to your Grapple checks. Do I need to explain that that’s really good?

CONS

Don't push your luck, champ - None of your stats are maxed out, and that’s bad. Your hit modifier isn’t great, your Battle Master saving throw is low, but most importantly your AC is really bad. Big health is nice but not being hit is also very helpful. Just saying if you have the chance to go for Point Buy I’d take it.

I never skip breakfast - A small pool of Ki combined with limited Maneuver die means that you’re running on some very potent fumes. Frequent short rests will be needed to make the most out of this build.

These jerks don't know when to quit! - Grappling builds have the ever-constant problem of falling off in the late game when most foes simply can’t be grabbed. This build honestly peaks around level 13 and just falls off from there. This is definitely one of my builds that I think works better in a low level campaign.

But if you want something unique that works well early here’s your build! Big reach to hold everyone in place so your party can beat them up. Playing the CC tank might not be that glorious but it’s a job someone’s gotta do. And remember: "It's not how much you can lift. It's how good you look!"

(Artist unknown. Made for Riot Games.)

[robodaydreamer]

RadioHusk Week - #2 To Love A Dumbass

I meant to write a drabble and my hand slipped.

I’m sorry.

[ EDITED 4/5/20 ]

I want to do a drawing for every fic, it just takes my dumb butt forever to do anything. Forewarning, this was done at 2 am, so it might be a bit jumbled? I edited what I could to fix it. I hope you all enjoy!

To hell’s general population or the few who knew of him, Husk was a lot of things. Temperamental, apathetic, tired of everyone’s shit... the list could go on, but he liked to think he was a pretty simple guy.

Uncomplicated and easy to understand. You leave him alone, he’ll leave you alone. You get on his nerves, he’ll probably claw your eyes out. Maybe. If he actually had the energy for it. A fair trade if you asked him.

And he didn’t ask for much. To most, he didn’t like to be bothered, he enjoyed card games, he depended on alcohol to get him through the day, and he had a fondness for magic tricks.

That last one was a little-known fact to their small group of misfits. The hotel’s residents didn’t need to know about it. The only reason any of them had even found out was because of Angel Dust challenging him to a card game.

He was more than a little drunk at the time. Hah, he’d been fucking plastered.

Kicking that fluffy arachnoids ass was just a bonus. While he never doubted his own hand, being that uncoordinated never usually ended well for him. He tended to keep to himself when he was at his worst.

He was surprised he even agreed to do anything at all instead of telling that perverted walking stick to shove off! Even more surprising was as trashed as he’d been, he was still apparently unbeatable.

Husk wondered if he had an ace up his sleeve… and he didn’t even have sleeves… or wear clothes.

Yikes. Did bow ties and tophats count?

Hmmmm… wait. No. He wasn’t doing this to himself again. It was hard enough accepting he was an overgrown catbird. He’d leave this complicated crap alone. Besides, trying to wear clothes over fur was a pain in the ass. Not to mention extremely uncomfortable...

Lucky streak aside, Husk won whatever bet they’d made. He couldn’t quite remember what it was since he’d been blackout drunk, but he knew Vaggie had enough blackmail on Angel to get about a week’s worth of good behavior out of him.

That alone had made this whole thing an even bigger victory. The only problem was that with his drinking, while his gambling was on point, his mouth… wasn’t. 

Plenty of sinners gave away personal information when they were drunk. People did it while they were alive, so it wasn’t an uncommon thing down in hell. The only problem was where it ended up… or who it ended up with.

Long story short, he’d apparently let Angel Dust in on his appreciation for magic and had even shown him a trick or two with his cards while they were playing. He couldn’t remember jack shit, but it was possible.

How else would Angel have found out? The only other demons who’d know would be Alastor or Niffty and he doubted Alastor would randomly share something as insignificant as this. He may have a thing for pushing Husk’s buttons, but he didn’t think the other would just throw that out into the open without any context.

Actually, he probably would.

Either that or Niffty spilled the beans… she liked his coin behind the ear trick. She made for a great audience, even when she had to stop him to sweep up his stray feathers or dust the furniture in his room. He wasn’t a total slob, but he was rarely in his hotel room to begin with, so it wasn’t really his top priority.

Like right now. He could clean up the broken glass next to the bed, but he wasn’t going to. He drank often enough, so hangovers rarely bothered him, but sometimes even he overdid it.

His tolerance was absolutely phenomenal. A blessing and a curse. On the one hand, he could enjoy his booze and watch his drinking buddies fall over after a few shots of the hard stuff. On the other hand, it was tougher to get buzzed or even just flat out drunk if he wanted a quick way to escape his own mind.

Last night had been one of those times and he absolutely went overboard. The hangover he was nursing could definitely attest to that. If the pounding in his head grew any worse he’d probably die. Again.

With a sigh, Husk shifted into a more comfortable position, trying to keep his wings in mind. He didn��t need any other problems right now.

Speaking of problems, he hoped he didn’t do anything too stupid. How did he get back to his room, anyway? He tried to wrack his brain for answers, but all he got was a flash of white-hot pain radiating throughout his skull for his trouble.

This was the beauty of alcohol. It made you forget, even if it was only for a short time. He’d already made that mistake twice in one fucking day… One with Angel Dust, and the other with-

A knock at the door made him tense, the sound not at all helping his headache. Who was bothering him at this hour? Wait, what time was it? Shit… was he late for work? Most likely. He didn’t actually give too much of a shit, seeing as to how he worked seven days a week. 

The only one it would actually bother was-

//BANG//

The sound of the door slamming open and ramming into the wall made him jump so hard his teeth clacked together. 

A loud boisterous voice filled the quiet of his room moments later, “Ohhhhh Husker! Wakey wakey, my darling kitty cat! Your shift started hours ago, and our sour sinners are hankering for your testy temper. And quite possibly a beverage or two, but that is no concern of mine. Hahah!”

Husk groaned, curling into a ball. Maybe if he hid in his wings, the bastard would take the hint and leave. He was too exhausted to deal with this shit.

Of course, he wasn’t that lucky. Give him a deck of cards and you’d see him win the whole pot! But a radio demon that he just so happened to be in a relationship with? Not so much.

Hold on a damn minute… Was it a relationship? It was probably the closest thing to one. They never agreed on an actual title, but Alastor had been pretty pushy about them trying this… whatever it was out.

In fact, if he thought back to it, he hadn’t believed the guy at first, having been pining over said demon for years. Why would he come waltzing over to Husk, demanding him to be his significant other?

He’ll fucking tell you why. His own mouth betrayed him. With Angel Dust, he’d been very loose tongued thanks to his over drinking.

Alastor had come over to watch their game of cards, and by the end of it, had decided to poke fun at his old pal Husker. 

He’d given Husk a round of applause for his card tricks, but it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter that he’d won the game and left Angel Dust flipping the table in despair. None of it mattered because it hadn’t been enough to fill Alastor’s endless need to be entertained.

He just so happened to believe that ‘drunk Husk’ was an absolute riot. He’d told him as much in the past. 

Although, instead of the usual banter or wobbly cat behavior he would have normally provided, Husk decided to share an even more personal secret than his fucking magic tricks.

He’d told the cannibalistic serial killer he was in love with him.

And it didn’t end there. To make it worse, since he’d been three sheets to the wind, he ended up forgetting everything that happened.

Angel Dust finding out about him being a magician was fine.

Alastor finding out about his undying love for him?

Husk would sooner have jumped in front of an Angel on extermination day than to have revealed his feelings to Alastor.

When he’d found out about what he’d done, because of course the insufferable jackass had to bring up his mistake as soon as he was sober, he may or may not have tried to jump out of the nearest window.

That was a tough feat to accomplish considering his bar was on the first floor. Had he done it anyway? Well, he tried to, but the other put a stop to his attempt so he hadn’t gotten very far.

In the end, Alastor had told him he should’ve confessed sooner because they could’ve been spending quality time together. He may have spaced out after that due to his brain short-circuiting.

It was almost too good to be true.

Husk agreed to Alastor’s demands, feeling like he would’ve been an idiot to refuse an opportunity to spend more time with the demon that held his heart in the palm of his hand.

Should he have paid more attention to what those demands were? Hell yes. His impulsive decision left him with more questions than answers.

After all, making deals with demons was a dangerous game.

The lowlifes he used to play poker with regularly would’ve told him to suck it up and take the offer for what it was worth. Taking chances was their shtick. 

Jerry, the cheating piece of shit, would have asked, “Why look a gift horse in the mouth?”

This was why. He had so many regrets. 

Husk heard the tapping of hooved shoes making their way toward him and scowled from beneath his feathery shelter. If Al did what he knew he was absolutely going to freakin’ do, he’d give him the silent treatment for the next three days.

He’d say a week, but Husk would cave long before Alastor… He may like his space, but he liked Alastor more. The guy had a way of making him crave for his attention, even if the radio demon himself didn’t always want it in return.

Hell, Alastor rarely showed any interest in him to begin with. And no, having an interest in causing him constant aggravation did not fucking count. He was busy with the hotel and all of the ragtag tenants he got a sick pleasure tormenting. 

It was hilarious. Honestly, it was, but he wanted more… It was selfish, especially since he fell in love with Alastor for who he was and not for some warped soap opera version of himself that he was sure plenty of demons daydreamed about.

Eugh...

Husk was guilty of daydreaming. He daydreamed plenty when it came to his ‘partner.’ Husk would be the first to admit he was a hopeless romantic… well. Maybe not out loud. 

He liked the thought of tender touches, passionate kisses, and appreciative glances. Did he need them? No. Did the thought of them make his heart race? Fucking Christ, yes they did.

He knew Alastor wasn’t interested in any of that. It wasn’t who he was and Husk could accept that, selfish desires be damned. He just wished someone would give him a hint as to what exactly Alastor was playing at. 

Was this something he actually wanted? What was he getting out of it? Why would he even bother with something he usually thought was so ‘tedious?’ He’d said so plenty of times to Angel and Charlie.

It’s already been a few weeks since they’d made this little agreement. Now that he was thinking back on it, it's almost been a month! You’d think he’d know the answers to all of these questions by now, but he was left in the dark when it came to Alastor’s intentions. 

He was torn from his thoughts when a hand gripped his furry ankle and dragged him to the end of the bed. 

Husk let out a warning growl to try and ward off the other from his oncoming attack, but it was useless.

Alastor only chortled in response and Husk felt the hand wrapped around his ankle tighten briefly before moving away. He knew better than to believe that was it. This was only the beginning.

He was proven right when his wings were forcefully pried apart, revealing him to his attacker who looked way too smug for his own good. “My Dearest Husker, why must you hide from me? You know, while I do love your volatile personality, I’m only here to help!”

Holy shit… 

Had he actually fallen in love with this dumbass?

Husk sneered, the stabbing pain in his head only growing worse as he locked eyes with Alastor. “Help? How is this helping?”

He watched Alastor’s brows furrow for a split second before his grin stretched impossibly wider. “Why, of course it is! You would have missed your shift, otherwise. After all, your job is crucial! You’re the first face our lovely residents see!”

Sitting up, Husk felt his wings fluff up. This was getting ridiculous. He was hungover and more than a little unstable in the feelings department. Alastor was only making things worse, seeing as to how he was the main cause of his emotional turmoil. 

He could start yelling and throwing a tantrum, but that would only amuse the bastard and leave him with an even bigger headache. 

No. He had to catch him off guard.

Maybe he’d try something new… he had nothing to lose except his dignity and he’d lost that years ago.. 

Fuck it.

“I want a divorce.”

He felt a swell of pride at Alastor’s blank stare. So that actually shut him up, eh? Sure, this didn’t at all make any sense, but if he had to deal with Alastor’s bullshit, then the idiot was going to get bullshit thrown right back into his stupidly handsome face.

“Pardon?”

“I want a divorce.”

Alastor’s smile waned as his brows went back into a furrow, his head tilting to the side. “Husker, my good man… we aren’t married.”

Husk felt himself relax. Al’s voice had quieted immensely from his earlier shouting. He always had to project his voice, no matter where he went. This was a hell of a lot better for his head. He could already feel the pain lessen.

With a distracted nod, Husk huffed out, “I know. I still want a divorce.” He watched as Alastor’s grin strained, eyes narrowing as he studied him. He felt a shiver travel up his spine at the others searching stare.

Unsatisfied with what he seemed to not be able to find, Alastor released the firm grip he had on his feathers only to move those deft clawed hands behind his back. Husk was sure he was clenching them tight with frustration. 

He couldn’t tell if this was funny or sad. He didn’t want to piss off his ‘steady,’ but he also wasn’t in the mood to be pissed off himself.

Looking at Alastor, he had to admit it was actually pretty damn comical.

“No.”

Husk blinked, feathered brows raising high in confusion. “What?”

Alastor’s expression morphed into a sharp smile, his glowing red eye’s staring unwavering into Husk’s. He seemed to radiate extreme disapproval. “No. We aren’t getting a divorce, Dearest.” His smile gave an irritated twitch.

Holy shit. This was unexpected. He hadn’t actually thought something like this would upset the overlord so much. This should be funny. He should be laughing…

It wasn’t funny. He loved Alastor too much to keep this up, but he also didn’t understand. Why was Al taking this so seriously? The radio host would usually have laughed something like this off or made an even bigger joke out of it… so why wasn’t he doing that now?

He really needed to get answers. If they were going to be anything they needed to start by finding common ground.

Mind made up, Husk stretched. If he was going to do this, he might as well be comfortable. He let out a pleased hum at every pop or crack he worked out of his spine. That felt so much better…

He glanced back up at his uninvited guest, only to pause. Alastor’s previous expression was gone. Husk wasn’t sure if he could put a name to it… but it was softer. Not a word he was used to using when it came to this particular demon. He looked downright distracted as his eyes traveled along the length of Husk’s body…

There was absolutely no fucking way this was happening right now.

He felt hope well into his chest, but he buried it down deep, he had some questions that needed answering. “Okay. We won’t get a divorce… we can still be friend-married or whatever. I didn’t think you’d take what I said so seriously...”

Alastor seemed to tune back in at the sound of his voice, his smile taking on a more satisfied curl. “I’m glad you’ve changed your mind! A divorce, hah! How silly…-” He stilled, a record scratching sound following his abrupt pause as one of his brows raised in question. “Friend-married?” 

He grimaced, “I do believe we have taken the next step in our relationship to a status higher than mere friends. Though I suppose that wouldn’t take away our actual friendship, I was hoping for a more committed type of companionship.”

Husk felt his jaw drop in shock. Hold the fucking phone, what? 

Alastor didn’t seem to notice his surprise, carrying on with a look of distaste. “Honestly, Husker… friend-married? Is that a word young folk are using these days? Taking two separate terms and mashing them together?” 

He let out an exasperated sigh, shaking his head at the thought. “I miss the days where words were used more appropriately.” Another twitch of his wide grin. “Besides, why crush words together when you can crush skulls?”

Husk gave a hard blink, his tail thumping on the sheets behind him. Holding up a clawed paw, he cut off the other’s rambling. “You… Do you seriously want to be in a relationship with me? You’re not just pulling my leg for a laugh?” If he was, he’d kill him. He’d probably be the one killed, but he would die trying.

Alastor’s confusion was palpable at this point as he tilted his head for a second time. “... I do believe I asked this of you before we began our partnership, yes. Besides, I may have just literally pulled your leg a short while ago, but that doesn’t necessarily mean I would spend so much time doing all of this just to cure my boredom..."

Husk felt like he was going to pass out. His heart was hammering so hard he thought it was going to beat right out of his chest. 

He was serious. Alastor wasn’t doing this for a laugh. He was actually interested in some form of relationship with him that wasn’t just friendly or work-based. 

Holy fucking shit what the fuck?

Husk’s ears were swiveling about, his fur was bristling, his tail was curling, and his wings were poofing out. He wasn’t sure what kind of fucking response his body was having to this unexpected situation. 

Was he confused? Was he flustered? Was he offended? He had no clue because he was feeling too much at once to comprehend a single thing.

He was able to stutter out a rushed, “Me? You want to be with me? Of all the demons in hell, you chose me?” 

Alastor gave a slow nod, regarding him with a curious gaze. “Why waste my time lavishing affection on just anyone when I can focus my attention on one demon in particular?” 

His hand rose from behind his back, cautiously reaching out towards Husk only to let it hover in the air between them as if he were worried about spooking him. He continued, “And who better than one whose company I enjoy… and one who I am so very fond of?”

Husk couldn’t fucking believe this. Alastor liked him. Alastor liked him to the point of wanting to be with him. Not just to terrorize him to get a reaction out of him. This whole time. This whole god damned time he could have been getting to know this crazy sonofabitch and here he was, wasting his only chance to do exactly what he’s wanted to for fucking years because he couldn’t just get over himself.

Husk shrunk in on himself with a horrified gasp, “Oh no. I’m the dumbass.” Before Alastor could question him, he ran his paw down his face, groaning out, “This whole time I thought you were just doing this because you were bored. You like pissing me off to the point of me ripping my own fur out!” 

His wings moved to cover him back up, he couldn’t bear to look at the demon in front of him anymore. This was too embarrassing. “I’m a fucking dumbass.” he muttered dejectedly.

The room was quiet for a few moments. Hell, Alastor could have vanished and he wouldn’t have been able to tell from beneath his feathery cocoon. This was amazing and awful all at once. He was an idiot, but he was a happy idiot.

He jumped at the feeling of gentle hands resting against his wings. He felt them hesitate before they began to caress him, palms moving in long even strokes. When Husk didn’t move to pull away or stop him, Alastor began to alternate between petting and running his claws soothingly through his feathers.

It felt nice… 

Husk felt himself begin to relax, not at all realizing how wound up he’d actually been. This was ridiculous. He needed to get a hold of himself… well. Maybe after a few more minutes of Alastor touching him like this... Alastor was comforting him. Would this ever happen again?

He really hoped so.

“Husk?” He felt his eyes snap open at the other’s hushed voice. He’s never heard Alastor so quiet before. They’d known each other for decades and not once has Alastor gotten even close to speaking in a volume this low that wasn’t a sinister threat. This was a soft plea for his attention.

Well, if he hadn’t had it before, he certainly had it now. He mentally prepared himself as best as he could before he shifted, immediately mourning the loss of the other’s hands as they retreated from his wings to give him space. 

Crossing his arms, he sat up and allowed his wings to part open, folding them down to rest over his legs and along the bedspread. Seeing as to how he’d let them drag across the floor plenty of times in the past, letting them hang off of the bed wouldn’t hurt them.

He glanced up toward Alastor, taking in his surprisingly patient smile and couldn’t help returning it with a smile of his own. Husk’s smile only widened as he grumbled, “You’re stuck with a dumbass for a partner. Hope you’re happy, ya wiseguy.”

Blinking owlishly, Alastor took on a more bemused grin. “Well… while there are several names I could call you, that one definitely wouldn’t have been my first choice. I prefer goofball!” He leaned down to get into Husk’s space, their faces only a few inches apart. “You’re a goofball, my Dear! But you’re my goofball.” 

Husk was glad he had fur because he felt his whole body heat up at just how close their faces were. It was harder to deal with his feelings when he was able to see Alastor up close. And this was really fucking close.

Alastor took notice of the change and seemed to study him, though he’d probably been doing that the whole damned time with how stupid Husk had been acting. Embarrassing. Absolutely humiliating. He was going to pretend this never happened. 

He was hungover. That was his excuse and... why was Alastor giving him that look?

Said overlord was giving him a large smirk, eyes lidded and teeth glinting from the minuscule light coming in from under his hotel’s door. His expression was one that told him he was about to get on Husk’s last nerve… he wanted to kiss that look right off his face.

Alastor closed the gap between them, purposely bumping their noses together. “My Dear sweet Husker. There’s no need to be shy! I had no idea you were so insecure. I’ll make sure to be more considerate of your feelings in the future.”

That little shit. He was teasing him! He had some fucking nerve.

Husk wasn’t about to let Alastor make fun of him. He was purposely trying to rile him up because he went all googly-eyed over him. It wasn’t his fault he fell in love with the guy! What right did he have to take advantage of that?

He made sure to give Alastor the stink eye and a very displeased noise that was definitely threatening and not at all pathetic. Okay, it was kind of pathetic. He was flustered, okay? It was tough to control his body when his instincts had a mind of their own!

Alastor beat him to the punch, making any thought of retaliation fly right out the window by gently nudging their noses together. “My Darling, don’t look so cross. I’m only teasing you!” 

Hah, Husk fucking knew it! The bastard.

The radio demon moved to press his face into Husk’s neck, his shoulders shaking with his laughter. 

Husk would have throttled him if he wasn’t currently trying not to combust. He was used to Alastor touching him, but this felt different. They were dating. It felt intimate when it really wasn’t. Was it? Oh shit… 

Normally he’d push him away, but it suddenly felt like the wrong thing to do. As if this was a moment he shouldn’t… couldn’t ruin. 

It was getting increasingly hard to not do anything, especially when the huffing breath against his neck was making him twitch. He was ticklish, and if Alastor ever found out he’d be screwed.

Okay, he had to move. He didn’t have to stop touching him, but he did have to stop chuckling into his neck. “Al, buddy. Don’t take this the wrong way, but you gotta stop.” He leaned back, arms moving behind him to support his weight. 

Alastor let him go, laughter dying out as soon as Husk had distanced himself. “Oh? Have I gone too far? Did I offend you?” 

Husk shook his head, “Nah, not that you’d give two shits about offending anybody. Too far is never far enough for you. I’m just gonna have to get used to all of this…” He quickly cut the other off when he saw his mouth open to question him. “I’m not used to all this touchy-feely crap!”

Alastor gave him a wide-eyed stare. “I’m quite certain I touch you very often, my fine feathered feline. I’ve always been very affectionate with you. What is making this so difficult for you?” 

Well, he had a point. “Okay, look. I know nothings actually changed. It just feels different now that we’re together. I don’t know how else to explain it… Like I said. I just have to get over it.”

“Hmmmmm… Righto! Then I suppose we’ll just have to get you used to it!” Alastor leaned forward, his knee coming up to rest on the mattress between Husk's legs. The mattress dipped at the added weight, bringing Husk up slightly.

Husk blanched, too startled to question what Alastor was doing as the overlord wrapped an arm around his waist. “Stay still, my Dear. We’ll solve this little dilemma of yours in no time at all!” As he spoke, his head came down to nuzzle his face into Husk’s chest fur. 

This resulted in Husk arching his back to better accommodate for the body suddenly clinging to him.

Why was this happening to him? Was he being blessed or punished? 

This felt an awful lot like a fucking punishment. 

Is this what he got for being a dumbass?

Alastor's free hand moved to rest on top of his own. “Husker, my Darling… your heart is beating very fast.”  He could practically hear the smug smirk in his sweetheart's tone.

He could live with it...

[mr-craig]

Tagged by @shimyereh. Thank you!

List 7 comfort films, tag 7 people.

~~~

1. The Odd Couple (1968) I've probably told this story before, but in my early 20s I survived a car crash. Nobody was seriously hurt, but my feet received some soft tissue damage. I was in immense pain for the next few weeks, as well as being horribly shaken up. The day after the crash, I was watching telly, trying desperately to find something to distract me. The Odd Couple came on. For the next couple of hours, I was able to laugh and smile and feel kind of normal. This is still the first thing I reach for when I'm going through rough times. It's so endlessly quotable, and Lemmon and Matthau are a delight.

2. The Muppet Movie (1979) Another film that I watched during my recovery. Call me a sentimental old fool, but the story of Kermit and his disparate friends finding each other and going on a quest to make people happy with their art... it means a lot to me. And the sight of Kermit riding a bike never fails to amaze and delight me.

3. Top Hat (1935) I love Fred Astaire. If he's singing and dancing, I'm probably happy. The film doesn't even have to be that good, I'm still happy. But this film IS good. Really good. The plot is the typical mistaken-identity farce, but the masterly comedic performances of Fred, Ginger, Edward Everett Horton, Eric Blore, and Helen Broderick make the non-musical bits just as glorious as the song and dance routines. And (nearly) every song is a classic (admittedly The Piccolino is a bit shit), with beautiful dance routines to match. 'Isn't This a Lovely Day (to be Caught in the Rain)' is one of the best musical sequences ever committed to film, not to mention 'Cheek to Cheek'... I once watched this film twice in one week, which is very rare for me.

4. Kiki's Delivery Service (1989) I could pick any number of Miyazaki films. His work creates a world all of its own, a world it's a pleasure to escape into. The animation is delicate and beautifully-observed, and combines with Joe Hisaishi's music to weave a unique spell. Kiki gets special mention for the very relatable theme of creative block (through the metaphor of magic block), and how things that came naturally in childhood seem to require more effort in adulthood. It's kind of reassuring to realise that even someone as mind-bogglingly talented and driven as Miyazaki can relate to that.

5. Sherlock, Jr. (1924) As above, I could pick any number of Buster Keaton films. This one wins out for a few reasons: 1) It is quite short, and 2) it squeezes so much wild inventiveness into that short runtime. The dream sequence where Buster climbs into the cinema screen and the scene changes around him, the chase with him riding the handlebars of a riderless motorbike, the game of pool with (perhaps) an explosive ball that he manages to miss with each shot... and the smaller moments of tentative romance between Buster and Kathryn McGuire... I love every second.

6. To Be Or Not To Be (1942) I guess screwball comedy is one of my comfort genres, and it's amazing how they managed to make such a delightful comedy out of a situation so grim. So many memorable lines ("what he did to Shakespeare, we're doing now to Poland"), fantastic performances that dance between comedic and dramatic, and of course I'm a sucker for a good Shakespeare reference. And Carole Lombard was just great.

7. Paddington 2 (2017) Both Paddington films are fantastic, but the sequel just wins out thanks to Hugh Grant's gloriously hammy turn as the villain. Despite using very little story material from Michael Bond's books, this screen version of Paddington really captures the spirit of the characters. It's sweet, gentle, funny, heartwarming, and hopeful. Just what I need when things are grim.

~~~

If you'd like to share your comfort films, consider yourself tagged.

[bush-viper-cutie]

Love Me Roughly: House Hunting

Pairing: Snape x fem!reader

Word Count: 2,220

Rating: M for Mature

Plot:  Severus meets up with the wizard in charge of finding him a place to live. He manages to strike up a deal and purchases his new home.

A/N: This is part 3 of 7 for the week 1 schedule for Snape Appreciation Month!  @snapeloveposts​

DISCLAIMER: I have edited (drawn over the original) the artwork (taken from a 80′s bodice ripper novel) for the purpose of this short series and will post more information about the original work here.

Posted: 6/3/20

                  Chapter List

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Severus left his motel room, locking the door and placing the key firmly in his pocket. He picked the dog up and walked out of the parking lot, turning a corner, and heading along the outer wall to the back. He figured the center was where he was standing and started walking into the forest, counting out seventeen steps before stopping.

The woods surrounded him shielded most of the sun and made the forest seem eerie. The little dog started squirming so he set it down on some fallen leaves, watching as he shook his fur out and ran as fast as his little legs could carry him to behind a large tree.

He heard rustling and then a very familiar witch walked out form behind, carrying the dog. She wore an open cloak with three buttons clumped at the top and a hood covering most of her hair, and yet, there was no mistaking who she was.

The woman from the airport walked closer and pulled her hood down, “I never would have guessed.”

“Not exactly a compliment,” Severus looked down at the dog, “Do you always make a habit of leaving your animals unattended?”

The woman laughed, “He makes sure our clients are here on time… and also that it isn’t a Ministry trap.”

He looked down at the dog in her arms, somehow doubting this particular one was very good at his job. He approached with caution and stuck out his arm, wanting to get a move on with house hunting. She took it and immediately apparated them out of the forest.

Severus heard a thump and opened his eyes, looking around at the wooden log walls and dark oak floorboards. They stood in the open kitchen of a small log cabin, a lounging area to the left and spiraling stairs directly behind them.

She set the dog down, “This is one of the simpler houses we have available to wizards here. During the winter, the snow mounds for miles and the trees offer much privacy.” She motioned to the stairs, “And the whole of it is so small that it’s easy to set up heating charms in every inch with ease.”

He walked behind the spiral stairs and opened the door to the laundry with a toilet and sink inside. He continued up the stairs to a corridor with three rooms. The first on the left looked to be the master bedroom with a large closet. The second was a smaller bedroom, A study perhaps, right across the way of the second bathroom.

He walked back downstairs and eyed the kitchen and connected room, finding it all surprisingly agreeable. “So, what is near?”

“Well, a short hike down is a corner store and your closest neighbor. A short hike up is a cliff,” she smiled.

He chuckled, these wizards really do know the business. He’d always heard of how well of a job they did, placing would-be convicts, escapees, and celebrities in the perfect homes for their situation. He suspected it had more to do with prior knowledge of the unsuspecting client, however. I always wondered where all the supposed diviners went. Even before the first wizarding war less and less were being found, though rumor had it they were being discovered for other, more appreciated, jobs.

“Well, I think you already know I approve of it.”

She dropped a folded paper on the low wooden dining table for him to take. He opened it and read out the price of the little log cabin.

“Really,” he sneered. “For maybe one twice the size of this one.”

She rolled her eyes, “You expect a well-built cabin, hidden from the noses of the Ministry, requiring no proof of wizard registration or mention of you on any documents for any less?” She laughed and picked up her dog, who had been lying peacefully next to the heater, and extended her elbow for him to take. “Why don’t we find you one worth the money you will have to pay, then?”

He scoffed, “Enough with the theatrics. Is there no discount?”

“Discount? For what? Looking cute?” she winked.

Severus swallowed and looked away quickly, raking his hair forward, “I’m sure the discount for that would be quite pitiful.”

The floorboards creaked under her shoes as she crept forward, “Oh, I’m not so sure about that. I’d give you ten percent off for your eyes alone.”

Severus turned to her, suddenly feeling the air very hot between them. Without thinking he opened his mouth, “And what else is… worthy… of a discount?”

She smiled and came closer still, “Hmm. Ten for those lips, and twenty for that incredible nose of yours.”

His hand went straight to cover his nose as her words replayed in his head, “Very funny.”

“It’s not a joke,” she stepped back glancing at the paper in his hands, “It’s my final offer.”

He looked at her confused, waiting for any clarification but none came.

He nodded, “Deal.”

She snapped her fingers and the numbers on the paper changed to a much more affordable price, “I’ll see you tomorrow then, for the money and to give you the keys.”

She apparated away and he was left alone in the house he would have to make his home now. He smiled to himself at their exchange. His heart wasn’t racing or thumping loudly, it was calm. He wasn’t ‘lusting’ after her like how his book described… but he did find guilty amusement in the fact she had indeed flirted with him. And he flirted back… something that, surprisingly, gave him enough joy to make him smile still, minutes after she had left.

His stomach growled and he remembered what time it was. He summoned his packed trunk and took out the food from it. He made himself a simple sandwich and placed the rest in the small fridge. He noticed the light did not turn on and figured there was no electricity yet.

He shrugged and charmed the fridge with a chilling spell and the freezer twice with the same one. That’ll do for now. He sat at the table and looked around at all the windows, watching the green trees sway with the wind and the occasional bird fly by.

He didn’t want to unpack just yet, not until everything was finalized, but there was one thing he could do. He took out his book from his muggle coat pocket and opened it back up, slouching over the table. He bit into his food and turned the page.

‘Robin turned from Stephano’s outstretched hand, not wanting to believe what his manly lips were saying. How could she believe a man that large, kind, muscly, handsome, and manly wanted such a small, dainty, soft, beautiful, girl like her?’

Severus rubbed his eyes and looked up, surprised to see the sun had set already and it was dark out. He locked the back door with a spell and walked over to the front door, doing the same. He dragged his luggage up the stairs and set it at the foot of the master bedroom’s large bed.

It was dark and he could barely see, cursing himself for not bringing candles. I had so many! Why didn’t I pack them? He imagined them al melted on the floor of his old home. I should have brought my scented ones at least. He fumbled for his night shirt in the dark and changed out of his clothes, unbuttoning everything slowly. He slid one arm in after the next and pulled the night shirt down. He took out his wand and cast Lumos to inspect the quality of the sheets.

They looked fine, recently cleaned even. He shrugged and set the wand down on the floor, hopping into bed and pulling the covers up. It was cold, but nothing compared to the dungeons during the winter. He turned and tried not to think of anything. Not tonight.

. . .

“Mmm, Stop it!” He lifted the hand that had fallen out of bed and was swinging low enough for the puny dog to lick. “Why must you do this? Hmm?”

He rubbed his eyes and looked out the window at the bright blue sky and large green trees. He wasn’t sure of the time, but knew that woman was already here, unleashing her dog onto him. He picked up his wand and cast Nox, extinguishing the light.

He pushed the dog out of the bedroom door and closed it, changing behind the bed and away from the window. He combed through his hair with his hands, wiping them on his coat, and made his way down the spiral stairs. She wasn’t in the kitchen so he turned his head and leaned forward, looking into the living room where she sat on the floor, reading –

“That’s not mine!”

She looked up, laughing, “Oh isn’t it?”

Severus ran into the room, stopping himself suddenly and composed himself. “Of course not… some-someone gave it to me and – ”

“So… it is yours, then.”

“No. It’s not, because I don’t want it. I was going to throw it away,” he coughed and looked away. There was a mirror hanging on the wall and he saw his face was a deep red. He turned his back to her and walked into the kitchen, arms folded.

Stupid! Absolute idiot! How could I leave it there? The cover alone has an image of a near naked woman in the arms of a shirtless man! …And it’s pink! He breathed out to calm himself, No matter. She will be gone forever in a few minutes.

She walked in behind him and set the book on the counter, giggling quietly, “It’s alright if you’re reading it. It seems interesting enough – and quite steamy.”

“No! No, I-I… Here is your money,” he extended his hand and summoned the bag of Galleons he had prepared for her.

She took it. “Well… Here is your key.”

He took the key without looking and put it in his pocket.

“Your water will start running soon… First month is free… after that you’ll need to pay us at the start.”

Severus nodded stiffly but the woman did not leave, “Yes?”

“About our conversation yesterday… I believe I called you cute and complimented your lips.”

He looked at her finally, and noticed she was biting her lip. He didn’t need to use Legilimence to know what she was thinking… and Merlin knows he was now thinking the same thing, though he didn’t believe he could pull it off in the least. He straightened and walked closer, excited to start the conversation up again.

“I do remember. I believe you also complimented my eyes,” he smiled.

“Who wouldn’t?” she stepped closer and touched the black cloth tucked under his shirt, “I love the patterns on your cravat.”

Severus watched her smooth actions, smiling. It had been a while since he had flirted with anyone, let alone had someone so willingly participate. The last time was surely before the Dark Lord’s return and as far as he remembered, it hadn’t gone so well, not on his part.

He opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. He chuckled nervously, “Forgive me, I-I don’t really know how these things go…”

“Then perhaps you’ll allow me to lead?”

She came closer, forcing him to step back against the wood walls of the kitchen. He couldn’t help feeling so giddy, he wasn’t sure why. He supposed because for the first time he didn’t have to worry about anything else getting in the way of… whatever she allowed to happen.

He leaned his head down and brought his lips to her ear, “I would like that.”

He pulled back and he could see a new fire in her eyes and a mischievous twinkle too. He lowered his head only to have her immediately attack his lips with hers, tangling her hands in his hair. He wrapped his arms around her for a few intense seconds before pulling her away and leading her up the stairs – to his surprise she was following.

It was broad daylight but that hardly seemed to matter, not to him and by the looks of it, not to her. The second they reached his room they continued their intimate embrace, slowly inching closer to the bed. The second their legs touched the mattress they pulled apart and began to undress.

He undid button after button as fast as he could while watching her and the little show she was obviously putting on for him, making him blush. She got undressed and jumped on the bed, watching as he shed layer after layer. He left his wand in the kitchen or he would have used his unbuttoning spell already, but by the look on her face she was enjoying every second of it which made him want her even more.

“Are you sure?” his voice was deep and he could hear his own excitement in it.

She reached out and touched his skin, making it feel hot and electric where she stroked. She stood on the bed and pulled him in by his shoulders and kissed him again, humming and smiling. He touched her skin and felt it smooth and silky, warm, much like herself.

“Extremely,” she giggled.

~~~ * ~~~ * ~~~ * ~~~ * ~~~

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