#of showing someone being triggered by a major life change

[glimblshanks]

"This season retconed Mariner's character growth from season three" it literally hasn't, please learn how trauma recovery works

[azure-cherie]

|𝑃𝐿𝑈𝑇𝑂 𝐴𝑆𝑃𝐸𝐶𝑇𝑆 |

What does Pluto represent?

It represents regeneration, metamorphosis, to change and become into something new , it represents innermost feelings, what have you discarded, thrown locked away , it can show where your blockages might be , and acknowledging them and healing them will lead you to embody yourself more , the core step of regeneration is acception so accept yourself for all the darks and lights and greys they will show you your own soul beautiful, empowering, unfearful.

This post is based on what's observed if it doesn't resonate please check other placements 🌷 This post can be read for tropical as well as vedic astrology however in vedic the outer planets don't matter as much .

Tw : I have tried to be honest and some stuff can be triggering please know that these are general observations

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Sun 🌞

Conjunct: These people go through a lot early on , like rejections, rumours that their kindness is fake , as they get older they get famous for a new look of theirs for example, someone maybe known for being a chocolate boy when younger but they age like fine wine as they get older , they like to take major risks in life . Their energy stays hidden from people who don't appreciate it in a way they will only embody their true self when they're truely appreciated . Their inner child is oftentimes locked and can be accessed and healed through breathing exercises, sunbathing, helping out poor children or lost souls.

Trine : They are known mostly for having a profound balance in what they do , like a beauty with brains type of vibe , they get famous for things they do authentically , are you ready to show yourself to the world if yes it will take you for all that you got , now you choose . A good placement for bombshell beauties , they are known for their unique looks eg : Angelina jolie, grace kelly , really revolutionary.

Sextile: They have a very experimental fashion and with every look of theirs , their outlook towards life changes , change in styles give them growth . Might be kind of control freaks and perfectionists but they actually work best in chaos and unpredictability gains a lot for them. Men with this are known to be very brave and powerful. People with this take challenges and criticism very well and use it to their advantage .let go of the mentality that society will only love you when you have all of the best things , infact the people who love you will love you regardless.

Square: These people literally have cults , their views are so strong that only people who really want to believe and deal take them , they will throw your triggers at your face. Believers of tough love , they might be a little too misunderstood, it takes time for people to get through their layers . You may think , here finally i know this person, but you'll be shocked about how much more they have to offer .

Opposite: These people have a lot of internal struggles , they often choose the wrong people to trust , fame isn't the best thing for them , a quite luxurious happy life is something they are content with . They have a very sophisticated face , they have a look of I'm satisfied but watch me do more kinda face . They are often famous for their aesthetic choices . Tw : fame may lead to early death , unless they learn to navigate it .

Moon 🌙

Conjunct: People have too many views about them and their mental health, they may suffer from a lot but you don't have to remind them , they already know and are working. They have a great spectrum of emotions and can be well known for writing their innermost thoughts. Intuitive and good at channeling and connected to their daimon. Divine inspiration always leads them . They have a very enticing and captivating face . Sometimes their speech is confusing, but they are trying to do good for you , might be a little rough at times.

Trine : They are intellectual and can provide anyone with sufficient motivation to do something. Good at telepathy and communication. They hold the power to influence people for good and bad . Have an easy navigation about their emotions. Some people might hate or be jealous because of how well they can navigate their triggers.

Sextile: They are soft and pure hearted , oftentimes known for their activism and support all the people around them with open hearts , it's a good placement for psychologists . They are known to persist despite all the hurdles around them . They like punk rock , and like to speak on dark topics for the welfare of society . Liked by many because of their authenticity .

Square : They like to mainly stay away from social media , as too much presence leads to people building wrong assumptions about them . They have revolutionary and conflicting views about things . These people regret not taking the right action at the right time . Can turn out to be manipulative and self sabotaging .

Opposite: They can be narcissistic, too absorbed. Though they introduce new trails of ideas , their speech is oftentimes too extreme and unacceptable. They are well known for their work . Known for their sad personality they feel things really deeply and are often confused about their own emotions. They have deep voices. People can really relate to their cries for help , they just need to have peace with themselves, and know that not everything shouldn't be known by everyone.

Mars ♦️

Conjunct : makes one a visionary for change , sometimes destruction. They have violent control of their emotions. Feels isolated initially which they turn into super power and channel it through their art and daily life . They can give great advice on just about anything, people trust them but also fear them .

Trine : hates to be ignored , when someone disregards them they get in moods of ignorance . Likes attention. They attract men who are a bit passive aggressive. Good at calisthenics , a lot of people consider their body to be a piece of art . Prone to knee injuries.

Sextile : common placement for royalty and fame after marriage ( rich powerful men ) . The people with this placement need to learn to love themselves, can be too fixated on others to love them which in turn creates a void, when they are developed , they enjoy themselves a lot , a very nice business mind and can give a good sense of life and the game of it . Lowkey reminds me of Shera .

Square : They like boyish clothing, can be stuck in scandals for example : Mila kunis for her age, courtney for the m*****r of Kurt, Kristin Stewart for cheating . They have a great sense of confidence , people try to copy them a lot . Usually they are trend setters in rare sectors . They tend to have a pull for life and the purpose of it but are confused often .

Opposite: Gives one strong sense of justice , however at times it could bounce back on them , for example they raised their voice against some injustice, it indeed hampers their image . Being a mediator is a peaceful case for them but if they choose to go for their heart that is true, they experience turbulence , initially until they realise life is all about give and take . Might give you a square face and lean body .

Venus 🦪

Conjunct : god knows you know about the deadly charm they exude , when Venus is conjunct pluto every step that you take towards healing and facing that is coming towards you , you are blessed in beauty ( how don't ask me try ) you become so self assured and so much more confident, they also have an air of knowing a lot even though they are still learning holy shit the grasp they have upon us .

Trine : These people can really turn their hurt into their power , they strive to get something in life, they know that whatever happens they can get out of it, so beautifully reminds me of the phoenix , rise like a beautiful song .

Sextile : you're intense you're full of depth and beauty, they have deep philosophical and in the core know that money cant buy all happiness but it's essential for their survival, they know how to strike a balance in life and really are the masters of their own fate

Square : Venus and Pluto forming squares gives one a drastic drive to be their authentic self to accept themselves in all their forms be it good bad or weird they aren't afraid to go through the little deaths in the self discovery of finding themselves again and again . They have many aha moments as they are always learning something new about themselves.

Opposite: this placement could bring internal struggles about looks and money , they think they can't manifest money but it's already written, these placements agree for you to accept them and work with them for your benefit. However this could also lead to them having a god complex and a feeling that they can do no wrong .

Jupiter ✨

Conjunct : These people are one of a kind very wise and you know those kinda people who give great advice because they have f*****d up in real time so with all they have gone through they try to live the best lives for themselves and everyone around them , these people are also very lucky in gambling, lottery and stock market .

Trine : blessed in marriage and business with people who see themselves in their true aura and still choose to love them. These people are dominating and they know what they want , don't like people correcting them too much.

Sextile : with a trine in this position one might go through this thing of being bad or fluctuating with money , once you have a lot other time you're blaming yourself for spending too much but be assured that no matter what , what you lose you will earn it back again too . They like to help the oppressed and the outcast .

Square : when in square you really go through the challenging times , the key to why you're great is because you can always self discover yourself again that's why the people around you see you in such a light of a leader , you're like a hierophant to the lost people because you found yourself again .

Opposite: you might feel unlucky that your luck doesn't work in your favour but her we talk about the solution so the thing is you're meant to work alright this pretty much like working on a child , you have to love your inner child so much so truly . you work hard for the benefits they work a little late but they def work c'mon it's with jupiter ain't no way jup ain't blessing you.

Mercury 🖊️

Conjunct: they know that the emotions they have good or bad are a result of innermost issues , very aware of their problems and solutions . Makes one a very good person to go for advice . Good in the logical sector , they like to chill or spend time reading stuff. They study or seek mental stimulation in times of distress

Trine : they can bring out their innermost desires easily through art and literature, healing when it comes to skin is fast for them , their brains work in a very result oriented manner , they think about the consequences and possibilities before doing something drastic . Makes one a lover of fiction of all kinds .

Sextile : They really find inspiration in the things most people don't see . They pay attention to the things most people ignore and find a way to use it to get a hold of information. These are the people with a variety of information in all sectors ,though conjunction and trine gives the intelligence, they choose to restore more as a built mechanism to enchant people

Square: this gives a hard time accepting this for what they truly are might lead to some anxiety and adhd issues , this could make one scared of changes . Early age bullying could be seen but with time , the youth of mercury and the resilience of Pluto makes one a visionary, someone who knows so much.

Opposite: might have a hard time to channel logic , though their emotions are alright . Might fall for fake promises and they have to work on their people pleasing tendencies. This gives one a hunger to do better in life , eventually they see that all that their mind is feeding them isn't true and they can always do better than what they have been taught .

Saturn 🪐

Conjunct :makes one a very disciplined person , they strive to work hard . You know the lana lyric " I'm doing it for all of us who never got the chance , and all my birds of Paradise " like wise they work hard so everyone around them can be happy and healthy, they make great people to bond with if you wanna succed in life and are looking for like minded people.

Trine : they are very hardworking towards what they want very goal oriented people. One thing i have seen is they can never work unless their work space is really clean , an organised view of things make their mind work better . People see them as someone who can be stiff at times , you can sometimes let loose is alright and appreciated to enjoy life .

Sextile : This works kind of like Saturn retrograde, the initial obstacles remain while Saturn gives the bad later in life when one has proven worthy to have something . Since life has thrown away them a lot of times they learn to be really humble , and try to assess all the possibilities before being sad about something. They understand that life is what you make it.

Square : might have a hard time following routines , they blame their luck a lot for having problems . When they get into healing themselves they have to deal with a lot of intense inner conflict and they might not take it very well , however to have a strong mind one has to deal with this tw might fall into depression. They come out stronger than ever knowing the power of free will .

Opposition: they believe rules are meant to be broken and i believe though this is opposition and might be malefic but being with Saturn and Pluto this gives one a very idgaf mentality which it turns out good for most times as one doesn't spend too much time contemplating. Might ignore their problems at times . But once in life the urge to get their life on track will occur and they will set things right for themselves. They want what they want by hook or by crook .

Uranus 🪻

Conjunct : They orchestrate changes, they are potent in telling people why they should do some things and why some things will bring them the better , they can really motivate people to live life for themselves. Usually they have strong sense of justice and remain very grounded .

Trine : They are free spirited, charming people , one thing about them is they can really see what others don't they can really put up the themes regarding what's beautiful and what's ugly and bring it to the world , work really hard to bring about equality in the society .

Sextile : This is a placement for the psychics healers and mystical beings , they learn that their position in the world is to heal and through their consistent efforts they heal themselves as well as others . They might find themselves in a state of dilemma sometimes as they are always energized with new ideas , they learn to channel it eventually.

Square : people with this can be a little stiff and scared about changes , they want things to be the same but to realise life's all about changes and how good one does to cope with it . These people are also very good at keep people on their toes. They guide themselves back to themselves. With this placement you don't loose your sense of self.

Opposite: A lot of people have their eyes on them and every move they make so they feel anxious and try to avoid changes . This placement can make one a control freak but if you choose to have faith in yourself and flow sometimes in life you will see the beauty of things that aren't forced , changes are necessary, cultivate the courage it requires to change .

Neptune 🌀

Conjunct : makes one a good artist , bestows beauty , other worldliness . Your dreams make so much impact in you daily life . Manifestation is your power you make it work for you all the damn time . It could bestow good healing powers and career in the therapy sector of all kinds. And this gives so much mystery to people.

Trine : They find very creative ways to channel their energy, might make one a bit lazy . They can work their emotions in a very creative way and achieve great things in life on the basis of their belief systems . Also good at predictions and reiki and astrology.

Sextile : These people are always full of surprises they have so much to give to the world , often they can come off as delusional but eventually they prove everyone wrong by getting all they want . However to warn the laziness if given a chance to grow will grow, so avoid it and go make the life you deserve

Square :. They have bizarre dreams , they aspire for a dreamland and seek ways to make the world a paradise , this in positive sense as they work hard to do things their way . Their homes are always so pretty and decorated . They can make anyone relax and calm down from the chaos . To truly grow in life they have to move with wisdom and have to accept all changes and chances with bravery.

Opposite : tw , this could lead to some sort of depression, addiction or inner conflicts , they seem and feel lonely or left out , they are great artists but their minds might be a little dark place to be in . To channel this energy properly is one great thing to live with the darkness and transmute it into light is great . Be sure of what you want and never ever bow down to what is trying to bring you down

I hope you enjoyed reading this post 🫂thank you so much, please consider reblogs and feedback it helps .

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Have a great day/ night 😚

[01zfan]

trigger finger | j. sc

boyfriend!sungchan x fem. reader | 4.5k words

a request and i kinda just rolled with it lol.

contains: emotionally regulated sungchan gets his buttons pushed by his rude girlfriend, rough sex ???, unprotected sex, semi public

sungchan was patient. he was kind. he never raised his voice at anyone or lashed out. it took him awhile to become this way, so even keeled and calm. a majority of his late teens and early twenties was dedicated to taming his turbulent emotions and occasional outbursts. after years of learning to regulate all of his feelings he had become a person who could approach any situation with a balanced mind. 

he had channeled ebullient emotions into sports and working out. he figured if he could control his body to score a goal or hit a new max weight that same control could be transferred to his mind. because sungchan followed this mentality, by the time he had turned twenty his body and temperament had completely changed. he got compliments now not only about his height but his build too, people who knew him in his teens exclaiming how “different” he was compared to back then. sungchan learned by the time he was twenty one that they were trying to subtly mention how well adjusted he had become. sungchan was no longer the stubborn kid that would defy teachers and roll his eyes at his parents. he was a gentleman—one that held doors open even if ten people had to come through, one that removed his hat indoors and always volunteered to get the short end of the stick. he ate the figurative shit the world threw at him with a smile on his face; he took it as penance for the little demon he was growing up.

sungchan believes that’s what drew you to him. sungchan was twenty two now, so used to the being pleasant it became an intrinsic part of who he was. it was an automatic reaction for sungchan to meet your teasing words with a smile, a smile you found yourself falling for easily. if you were fire sungchan was water, if you were the pull he was the push, and the give to your take. 

you found out quickly that sungchan was a good boyfriend and an even a better person. it came out in every aspect of the relationship. he was unfazed by your guy friends that seemed nervous around him. he was friendly to almost every girl, letting them down easy anytime they tried to make an advance. he never responded to you when you tried to pick an argument or instigate a screaming match. sungchan would always grab your hands in his and urge you to sit down and “talk it out with him”. he was the type of person you needed in your life but it irked you to no end how pacific he was. you wanted to believe it was a facade, that sungchan felt negative emotions as strongly as you did. you were grateful to date someone who didn’t have a short fuse, but you started to find it alarming that he seemingly had no fuse at all. 

even in the four walls of your bedroom underneath the safety of the sheets sungchan was never anything less than sweet. he was a fast learner after you showed him how to treat you in bed and what you liked, but beyond that there was nothing. sungchan never bossed you around, never dared to put a pushy hand on your head. he never continued after you came once, and absolutely refused to act on his own selfish needs. everything was about you and you hated how much you hated it. you often recalled you being in the heat of the moment and telling sungchan breathlessly that he could do whatever he wanted to you. the only thing that came from your confession was sungchan finishing inside of you, a kink he told you about sheepishly after the fact. it was everything you wanted but so short lived. it was the only time you saw sungchan be even remotely self-serving. you found yourself rewinding the way he moaned “fucking take it” into your ear as you clenched around him before his hips stilled inside of you. your whiny sounds of approval and surprise didn’t influence sungchan to continue being dominant in bed, in fact it took him almost two days afterwards to initiate sex with you. and with a boyfriend like sungchan, two days felt like a century. 

the next time you two had sex it was the normally scheduled program, sungchan finishing in a condom while he kissed your forehead. you sat next to him leaned up against the headboard as he rubbed out your unexercised muscles. you looked down at your sweet boyfriend with his doe eyes and secretly made it your mission to bring out the other side of him.

that’s why you were at this party, dancing on a dining table surrounded by men you didn’t know. you always had fun at the gatherings that evolve to parties, feeling safe to be unhinged knowing your doting boyfriend with water in his red solo cup was watching you from across the room. this was unlike you though. you weren’t the type to be on the tables or start borderline flirting with random men. but you felt your unofficial bodyguards’ eyes on you after you evaded his very obvious hints that it was time to go home. the fleeting looks you spared towards sungchan egged you on, and you could see his look become more and more agitated throughout the night. when you snuck away from him while he was distracted by a friend you knew that if he saw you in your current state he would have to snap.

sungchan didn’t like parties too much, so he would stick to the walls and casual conversations with the people he knew that would be there. his main job every party he went to was to keep an eye on you, letting you have your fun while he kept you safe. you and sungchan had a unspoken rule though, that he would stay at the party and let you enjoy yourself only for as long as he allowed. he would come up to you when the party was winding down or if you looked bored and say something along the lines of “don’t you have an early morning tomorrow?”, “it’s getting kind of late”, or “do you want to go eat?” when sungchan said those words he knew that you knew it was time to go. so it was beyond sungchan why he had exhausted all those phrases and you were both still here. 

he had already had a long day at work when you told him there was a gathering you were going to and you wanted him to come along. he had no idea how defiant you would be at this gathering, or how the gathering was actually a party. sungchan felt his body tense up the more he thought about the day he had and the night you were subjecting him to. he saw you get too close with some men while they chatted you and your girl friend up, saw you grab another mans arm and squeeze before casting a glance to him. sungchan had to take deep breaths to keep him from crushing the life out of the cup in his hand. 

he almost got you to leave when you gravitated towards the makeshift bar in the kitchen. he saw you mindlessly fiddling with the empty bottles of dark liquor, almost like you were waiting for him to approach you. before sungchan could put on his most stern voice and tell you it was time to go, his friend shotaro distracted him.

“sungchan!” shotaro exclaimed. 

sungchan turned away from you only for a moment to greet his friend. they saw eachother at work not even three hours earlier, sungchan noticed that shotaro had simply thrown on a leather jacket over his work uniform. 

“what are you doing at this party?” shotaro asked.

sungchan had to lean in to yell into shotaro’s ear over the music, the dimly lit room made sungchan think he was yelling into his friends hair. 

“i’m here with my girlfriend. we are about to leave though.” sungchan said.

calling you his girlfriend was the most possessive he ever let himself get. he liked the way the phrase rolled off his tongue, or the look of acknowledgment on people’s faces when he said it paired with him putting a hand on your hip. when sungchan turned around to touch you, he saw that you were no longer there. 

he quickly peered over the crowd, using the height advantage he had on a majority of the partygoers to find your face. it turns out he was looking too low, not noticing you until shotaro let out a sound of surprise.

“isn’t that your girl on the table?” shotaro said. 

shotaro pointed the same hand that was holding the beer towards your dancing body. sungchan was speechless as he saw you swaying and turning on top of the table, giving the men that were circling you earlier like a shark a show. when your eyes locked with his and your movements didn’t cease sungchan instantly felt adrenaline course through his veins.

he left shotaro without saying goodbye, walking through the sea of people straight for you. you kept your eyes locked on sungchan the whole time, a sly smile coming across your features as he stood in front of you.

you looked down at sungchan as he stared up at you. you could tell that he was trying to actively calm himself down, trying to repress the sungchan that you wanted let out.

“we’re leaving.” he said sternly.

this was the most authoritative you had ever heard him. people around him moved their bodies to the music, bumping into sungchan. you could tell that he was mad because his body didn’t budge to the people colliding with him. you continue to smile as sungchan reached out a chivalrous hand to guide you down from the table—one that you ignored while you continue to dance.

“i’m finally taller than you.” you joke.

this was the breaking point for sungchan. you can see your boyfriend’s body physically tense and his eyes widen. for a split second you smiled, seeing sungchan’s unbounded emotion. this only lasted for a second before your smile was replaced with a surprised gasp as sungchan used the same hand to wrap around your waist and bring you to the edge of the table. 

he put your body over his shoulder with ease, a single arm locking your legs in place. you could feel the plush of your thighs squish together as you kick your feet in surprise and prop your hands on his lower back to try and keep yourself upright. some people laughed and others cheered for you, but most of them go back to dancing as if nothing happened. you can feel sungchan place a hand on your lower part of your dress, pulling down the fabric so it covered the swell of your ass. 

sungchan is silent as he walks you through the house. it’s almost humiliating, being paraded around a crowded house party for everyone to see. in a weird twisted way you like it, indirectly showing off your boyfriends strength and your ability to push his buttons. you don’t know if sungchan knew how possessive he seems in this moment, showing everyone at the party that you’re his. it had been a whole night in the making, you have never worked so hard in your life. you hope it’s all paid off when sungchan carries you upstairs, using his long legs to clear two steps at a time.

once you’re in a quieter part of the house, walking down the corridor of closed doors you try to be as fake bossy as possible.

“put me down!” you grumble. 

you’re putting on a show now, your own facade of the irritated girlfriend. you lightly hit sungchan’s back as he checks each door in the hallway, seeing which knob will turn. he moves his body around, not taking into account your upper body whips back and forth from the momentum.

“sungchan i’m serious.” you say. 

still no response. you pray that a door will open up soon as you continue to whine in his grasp. you pray he can’t hear the smile in your voice as you struggle a little bit more in his hold.

“i wanna go back and dance.” you whine.

you hear the slap before you feel it on your skin. it hits you suddenly, like a lightning strike. it’s at the speed of light, sungchan’s large hand smacking where your thigh turns into your ass. it’s such a hard slap that it sounds all the way down the corridor and has you jolting forward in his hold. the pain flashing takes you by surprise, making you yell out loud.

“be quiet.” sungchan says.

his tone is even but assertive, and for the first time in your life you feel like you have bitten off more than you can chew. you obey him immediately, holding back all the other taunts you had floating around in your head. somehow hearing sungchan have an even tone in this situation is scarier than him raising his voice. the smack still stings on your skin as a doorknob finally turns for sungchan, revealing an empty room.

sungchan makes it to the bed in just two strides and wastes no time launching your body to the center. you are jostled and caught off guard as your ass lands first, momentum forcing you to land on your elbows for support.

you’re forced to look up at sungchan as he stands next to the bed. you are in a risqué position to say the least, your dress had ridden up well past your thighs to sit bunched up at your stomach. your knees closed together are the other thing hiding your core from sungchan’s piercing glare. you didn’t think your boyfriend was capable of looking at someone so intensely, his eyes felt like they were burning holes into your skin. when you were in this position with sungchan, it was usually you beckoning sungchan towards you with a finger while you slowly spread your legs. but now you looked up to him waiting for his next move or next order, his previous command and the thrill that followed still ringing in your ears and on the back of your thighs.

sungchan turns his back to you to go to the door, you follow him carefully. you watch him slowly close the door and hear the familiar sound of a lock clicking. while sungchan’s back is turned you quickly straighten your dress and quickly pat down your mussed hair, trying to seem as appealing as possible.

when sungchan comes back to his previous spot next to the bed you try to figure out what this new sungchan is going to do. you open your mouth and sungchan puts a finger up. you bite your lip to stop yourself instantly. his hands go to his hips and he starts breathing heavy even breaths. the anticipation makes you want to squirm. you have to use your last ounce of self control to keep yourself still.

“what do you want from me?” sungchan asks. 

the question catches you off guard. your hand that was playfully tracing shapes over your dress stills.

“what do you mean—” you start.

“do you want me to be mean? yell at you because you flirt with some guys?” sungchan asks.

you think that you’re about to get lectured before you see sungchan take off his jacket. when he throws it to the floor you watch him carefully, not sure what’s going to happen next. when his hands slowly reach for the buttons on his pants you can’t help smiling from excitement, hands going to the bottom of your dress. 

“i’m better than that.” sungchan says matter-of-factly.

you shimmy out of your dress, getting it halfway off before sungchan helps you the rest of the way. he throws the garment to the side carelessly before roughly pushing you down on the bed. you are nothing against his strength, your body hitting the mattress with a dull thud. sungchan crawls on the bed to rest on the back of his legs in front of you, his bottom half completely bare. your eyes are locked in on his dick as it twitches in the cold air of the room.

“if you want it like that so bad i can give it to you like that.” sungchan says.

you look your boyfriend in the eyes and nod your head, lifting your hips so he can roughly slide your underwear down your legs.

sungchan has a hand on your knees before pushing it the opposite way, telling you to put yourself on view for him. you oblige, spreading your legs as far as they will go.

“what was the food we shared on our first date?” sungchan asks.

you try to think of the answer as you see a large glob of spit leave sungchan’s mouth to drop on his dick. you see him pump his length a few times before looking at you, raising his eyebrows to indicate impatience.

“uhm. popcorn?” you guess. 

it was hard to think anything in this position, but you know you got the answer right when sungchan nods his head and moves forward on his knees to slot himself between your legs.

“say that if it gets to be too much.” sungchan says.

before you can say okay, sungchan fully pushes his length inside of you. the anticipation coats your walls, that aided with sungchan’s lubricant helps him slide in easily. your pussy clenches around him, sungchan is already hissing at how your practically sucking him in.

sungchan puts both hands on the back of your thighs and pushes them to your chest, loving the way you whine underneath the stretch.

“you just wanna get fucked so bad.” sungchan exasperates. 

he’s captivated by the way you dumbly nod your head, so desperate to be mocked. it almost makes sungchan want to withhold the side of him that wants to fuck you into the sheets. maybe he should be gentle with you and edge you until you’re crying in missionary. but sungchan thinks he’ll let out the possessive, jealous, and mean side of him he’s spent all this time taming. he presses your thighs even closer before leaning his head over yours. his bangs graze your forehead as he looks you dead in your hooded eyes.

“you just want me to fuck you the way you deserve?” sungchan asks.

you would say yes but sungchan moves his fingers into your mouth. his digits press down so heavily on your tongue it comes out gargled, spit dribbling down your chin as he continues to thrust into you.

“i get jealous baby i just hide it well.” sungchan says. 

your eyes get wide as you realize sungchan found out about your little mission. he smiles at your expression, fingers pressing down with a force that almost makes you gag.

“everyone wants a piece of you. drives me fucking crazy.” he says.

you moan in response, you don’t know how sungchan is able to keep his voice and words even while dragging his dick along your walls. his demeanor makes you clench around him without meaning to.

“wanna keep you...” sungchan has to look up at the ceiling to stop himself from moaning. “locked in a box sometimes. i’m crazy right?” sungchan asks rhetorically.

you wish you had known about this sungchan long ago. you would’ve done this way sooner if you had known this is what he was hiding from you. you work around sungchan’s fingers in your mouth to try and beg him to go faster.

“faster? i like going slow though.” sungchan fake pouts. he purposely slows his hips even more, dragging his tip along your folds before pushing back in. “because i know you hate it.” he smirks.

sungchan sits up a little to be perpendicular to your body, putting your calfs on his shoulders. the same arm that locked your thighs in place on his back straighten your legs, making you moan from another stretch. sungchan fucks you in this new position, moving his head to bit and suck on your ankles.

he thrusts into you with such a force that it makes your tits gyrate. sungchan is locked in on them, using his large hand to cup your breast. he roughly pinches your nipple, rolling the bud between his index finger and thumb. the extra stimulation and the pain has tears prickling your vision and has your skin prickling with electricity.

“already?” sungchan asks.

he can tell by the way your eyebrows furrow and legs spread that you’re close.

“just from this?” sungchan asks again. 

his pace doesn’t change, keeping his tempo as he sees your face contort in pleasure. sungchan smiles and moves his hand that was kneading your chest down to your clit.

“you’re too fucking impatient, didn’t even know you liked it slow.”

“me neither.” you say. 

your attempt at trying to sound as calm as sungchan fails miserably, you sound meek and whiny as you try to even your tone. sungchan laughs at your feeble attempt, hand that locks your thigh in place going to your cheek quickly to pinch the fat.

“you have no control.” sungchan says. his hand speeds up the revolutions on your clit. ”just let it out baby.”

that’s all you need to hear as you spasm around sungchan’s dick. you slick makes gives his thrusts new lubrication, helping him throughly fuck you through your orgasm. sungchan coos in response to your whines and says your name back to you when his falls from your lips.

you had come down from your high a long time ago, being driven to insanity solely off of sungchan teasing you. you start to squirm against him, trying to push your hips forward to suppress the stimulation. you see sungchan smirk before he flips you over, your face pressing into the sweaty indent of the mattress. 

sungchan uses a hand to push your stomach flat to the bed and spread your cheeks simultaneously. the sudden change in position has you going crazy. you swear you can feel sungchan in your stomach as he presses his sweaty chest to your back. he sucks and bites on the skin of your neck, not pulling away until you cry out from the feeling.

“not done yet.” sungchan whispers against the shell of your ear.

he traces the outline of your ear before taking your earlobe into his mouth. you have never felt all of these sensations at once. usually it was one or the other, sungchan was careful with how much he gave you in bed. if he had you in the prone bone position he was careful to not give you his full length, if he was inside you he usually only paired it with kisses on the lips, and he had never took the risk to overstimulate you. but now sungchan pounded into you mercilessly, leaving bruises on your neck and ass due to the way he was holding you. your subsiding orgasm was building back over your body and it left you like putty, your ass turning to jelly as sungchan fucked you in a faster pace. 

“you like this don’t you?” sungchan teased. “when i just use you?”

sungchan’s fingers were no longer in your mouth but still spit dribbled from your mouth and words were caught in your throat. whatever you said was intelligible, a string of broken words and moans that couldn’t be deciphered. sungchan still cooed anyway like you understood you, placing a sweet kiss to your cheeks as he lifted his body up.

“now you have nothing to say?” sungchan asks.

sungchan’s speed picked up when he raised his body, and his hand went to rest beside your head. you brought your hand to clasp around his wrist, nails digging into his skin as you felt him go a little deeper inside of you. having something to sink your nails into let you gain your bearings enough to speak in between his thrusts.

“i’m gonna—” you mumbled.

“this pussy is mine right?” sungchan said.

he still had that venom laced in his voice, but it came out airy. he was close, maybe even closer than you were.

“all yours.” you cried out.

your walls spasmed around sungchan’s dick as he pressed down into your again, spreading your folds with a single hand to reach deeper than he did before. sungchan finished while buried deep inside of you, a stop he knew no other man would ever be able to reach. you made sounds he had never heard from you before, your usually controlled moans turning into high pitched whimpers and begs. sungchan gave you what you were begging for when he pulled out just a little to push right back in, feeling a little bit of his cum seep out of you.

your high pitched moans drowned down to you repeating his name over and over again in a quiet voice. sungchan kissed you cheek and pulled out, standing up from the bed to take in the sight of you all fucked out and pliant on the mattress. he could see some of his cum leak out of you, a pool of drool making the sheets around your mouth dark. sungchan wishes he could take a picture to show the next man that ever looked in your direction, or show you the next time you got mouthy. he settles for turning you to your back and kissing your lips. 

you are still so fucked out your actions are delayed, behind the rhythm of sungchan’s lips by a beat. the only thing that brings you out of your trance is the feeling of sungchan’s fingers pushing his cum back into your slit, the extra lubrication making a lewd squelching sound. you can feel hot tears come down your face and sungchan kisses them away, retreating his fingers when a majority of it is back inside of you.

“i’ll be right back baby. don’t move.” sungchan whispers.

even if you wanted to move you doubt you could, your body shakes and your muscles ache at even the thought of lifting a finger. 

sungchan comes back to the room just as fast as he leaves, holding a warm wet rag and a dry one. sungchan cleans you up and pats off your sweat, helping you back into your clothes and pulling you up from the bed. it all happens in a haze, paying attention to sungchan’s words of praise that comes out in droves. before you know it you are standing on shaky legs. sungchan looks at your state and laughs at you, poking your sides. you swat his hand before giving him your meanest look, one that definitely has much less bite after the events that just transpired. sungchan still puts his hands up in defense before kissing your forehead.

“there’s my girl.”

[bitdemonic]

date. may 29th, 2023

time. 3:16pm

—❝𝐜𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐦𝐞.❞

𝐬𝐲𝐩𝐧𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐬. future spouse pac ✞ pics with them

𝐚𝐢𝐝. if the images above are too hard to differentiate between your intuition, use ‘pile 1, 2, 3, or 4’ for the choice selection instead. this reading has five piles and each pile is different in terms of context.

𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐫. 18+ content—no minors. please remember, this post is just for shits and giggles. pinch a grain of salt and use the best of your discernment. i tend to write under the impression that majority of this content’s viewers are women however i read for both feminine and masculine energies. if needed to, please flip the roles as reversed for an accurate message. hope this reading is useful, but not for plagiarism bitch. enjoy.❦

𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐞 ✞

🃏lovers. 5oc. magician↺. queen of pentacles↺. tower↺. strength↺ and peace.

let it be mentioned that the lovers card amplifies all of the energy that follows; def intense because i could feel it within the deck itself. pictures here are raw, they’re always unfiltered and passionate at w.e moment they’re taken. to me, y’all are the literal definition of ownership lmao so it’s hard not to notice the obsession with each another. y’all’s chemistry is def eye-catching, tantalizing to say the least. “mine.” there are resemblances between y’all, matching tattoos or even being mistaken for brother and sister. to put it in a nutshell, this is tongue kissing on the main and taunting old exes—it’s obvious there’s bomb ass sex with each other lmao, but more importantly there is devotion.

apart from posting on social media, there’s internet presence around y’all—could be popular influencers or just outright celebrities. possible youtube couple? very de’arra and ken vibes. either way, someone in the connection (if not both) went or will go viral. the tower in retrograde, this is a specific picture at a specific point in time; it even has the potential to be life changing. “break the internet.” attention that brings problems ngl. sure someone’s jealous ex, but apart from them there is so much outside negativity towards the feminine. people are pissed when she comes across their feed, but only because they secretly want to be her. queen of coins in retrograde; envy that simmers from deep within until it becomes hatred or outer turmoil. seeing pics sent in groupchats, hate comments from spam accounts, posting on close friends—her presence triggers insecurities and people hurt under pressure. black moon lilith. as delusional as it sounds, this is an eerie situation to be in fr so be mindful.

the masculine doesn’t stand a chance omg, the feminine is deadass the star of the show. represented as the queen of wands, she’s outshining tf out of him without even trying lmao. glamorization of what the masses can see, which undeniably is her beauty. this is “off guard” pretty, bad pictures just simply don’t exist. if y’all wear makeup, it’s very complimented—the blending and baking, or contour and highlighter are a ten. this even pertains to the first paragraph, how someone here is in the public eye, because pictures of her are taken unbeknownst due to her appearance. the magician in retrograde signifies fan cams, video edits, and pinterest boards—there’s also editorials and photoshop? mentions of an aesthetic came in, or “neptune.”

all in all, this couple has magnetism and attracts opportunities due to their pictures. def some gorgeous people, it was noted that y’all’s face cards elite lmao. however, y’all have to be cautious because taboo-ism is prone to happen as well. such as scamming or catfishing, things that could cause detriment to future occasions. outsiders are the issue here, they’ll def try to bank off on y’all’s identities. something could or could’ve already happened with a certain picture? “controversy.” the response to it is fifty-fifty; half who are defending and half who are criticizing. “stans” and a “fandom” are involved.

📸 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐬

❦— from behind. the masculine will tower behind the feminine (no matter the height), engulfing her in a bear hug or whatever else to imply their presence. head buried in her neck, hands wrapped around her waist—this also denotes their possessiveness as partners together.

❦— pretty teeth. big big smiles here, the goofy grins and shut eyes. y’all countdown before taking a picture but numerous times because y’all can never be serious lmao. fingers in mouth type smiley faces.

❦— beauty queen. this is more-so on the feminine’s behalf, she’s the one that’s always ready for a picture and the one always asking someone to take one of her. being photogenic is one of her best features to date. no matter if y’all agree, but i’m def seeing the face of a model.

❦— cancer. this made me think of ariana grande and her husband dalton, their pic outside with the moon behind them. this is pictures in that same setting, or at least taking them during the nighttime. 8pm thru 5am. stargazing together is here too.

❦— taurus. this actually alludes to more than one thing. the masculine is a gift giver, i pulled the “sugar daddy” card for them in particular. they def have big bucks, or at least enough to gift you the finer things in life. they’ll spoil you for fun and in turn you’ll show off what they bought you—new toys lol. pics of the “next big thing” (vacation views, receipts or tickets, cars, etc). smell goods are specific, perfumes or colognes.

“glutton” corresponds with taurus as well—someone in this connection loves to chow down, meaning tons of food cameos in their (own) pictures. they’ll pose funnily; mid-chew or with a bunch of food stuffed in their mouth to be annoying lol. little dorky things like putting an orange peel in their mouth before they smile.

❦— do not disturb. pretty self-explanatory, but for y’all this seems to be alone time from the world. this reminded me of travel, but i channeled that this is to each others hometowns. this could be an interracial connection, mentions of cultural traditions and differences.

❦— naked bodies. the feminine’s chest is significant, something about that area in particular that the masculine loves. there’s pics of them fondling or sucking on her nipples, playing with them even. someone’s v-line is here, plus a hand going up their abdomen. the masculine’s bare ass is source material too, those pics are for funsies.

❦— topping. this could obviously mean they’re a daddy dom in general lmao, but if not it just means the masculine will be hunched over or “taller” than the feminine. she’ll be lower than him, as in he’s standing and she’s sitting or she’s laying down beneath him. sex-wise this is them doing it from behind or being on top quite literally.

❦— foreplay. tbh this one is vague, but i still wanted to put it in bc why tf not. this is while y’all are in the moment, or while someone is teasing the other before actual intercourse. pictures of them while they’re giving you hickies, or while they’re pulling at your underwear to give you oral. somebody’s an ass muncher too so expect pics of that lmaooo.

❦— sloppy. no but yes iykyk😂 this is more on the pic itself, how it won’t be organized or captured clearly during sexual moments. like if you’re pleasuring them and have them take a picture, it’ll just come out fucked and unfocused because they’re fucked and unfocused. kinda what would’ve been the perfect shot if y’all weren’t so “distracted”.

brooklyn and nicola peltz-beckham (hot ass names) are the perfect couple example for this pile. their expressiveness together is subtle, yet loud enough that we know they’re each other’s one and only. regardless of how long the relationship lasts, we’ll remember the fact that they were ultimately made for each other.

end.❤️‍🔥 previous reading

𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐰𝐨 ✞

🃏king of cups. princess of cups. 2oc. 5op↺. 8oc↺. rest and comfort.

this spread screams emotional depth, it’s haunting as hell but not in a bad way—in a way that’ll pull your soul into its deep abyss. hypnotic almost. this is “grow old together” love, i can literally feel the years in my bones. these are moments that you can’t help but reminisce on, pictures that are saved or bookmarked because they’re so very special. their essence is felt and appreciated, enough that there’ll be tears of happiness. lmao this is going to sound corny, but this connection’s energy reminds me of a warm blanket. like milk and cookies on the sofa, or a kiss goodbye from grandma. it’s just so snug, i can’t even put into words how safe i feel right now. how libras are sweet and tender, fragile enough to shatter if you aren’t gentle—this is softness at its finest.

[TW] substance abuse could’ve been an reoccurring issue in this relationship, or at least a bad problem. the five of pentacles being in retrograde was an indication of sobriety to me, along with the image of somebody holding their own sobriety chip with a smile—not for everyone, but pictures under this circumstance are meant to remember the past without having to revisit the pain. “encouragement.” it’s apparent at this point lmao, but the sweetest captions known to man are found here. paragraph after paragraph, an everflowing stream of appreciation for your partner. endearing birthday posts are significant, along with sweet nothings in the comments omg y’all are sapsss. if i had to put it in words, “smol” or “wubs” come to mind before anything else omg y’all are sapssssss.

there are before and after pictures with each other (childhood friends, neighbors, friend of a friend, etc.) because again “growing old iem together”, there’s a sense of watching each other through the years. feeling the vibe of them being around as kids, transitioning into adulthood then getting closer as grownups. if not tho, this is someone that you’ll literally feel at home with; they are home to be real. this is a person that’s familiar, regardless of if they’re new or not. y’all are going to be glued to each other’s side until death. similarities are here, but in the sense of same environment or same social circle. i’m also getting similar taste in hobbies, music, and clothing. meditation or gym pics are common, promoting balance and wellbeing is a shared interest. personalities in general, ya’ll coordinate so very well. no wonder people linger longer than they need to—they’re wanting to see what’s next with the world’s cutest couple. also because y’all are walking enigmas and it threatens them lmao.

the attributes of venus sums up y’all’s pictures together. they’re beautiful, and are the literal definition of a thousand words. i channeled date night, but this came to being in the kitchen most of the time. y’all love to cook together, or to be in the kitchen at the same time to goof off and be annoying. dinner at home happens frequently, i’m seeing someone set the table while the other chops vegetables and stirs the pot. there’s pictures of handwritten love letters or random bouquets of flowers, things that tend to sweeten life with them a little more than before. this is def “fell in love with my best friend”, even as a photo caption lol. friends in general are around y’all—drunk nights at the bar, group poses in front of an amusement park, eating edibles and doing vlogs, etc. a lot of moments with your future spouse include people y’all are close with as a couple (siblings, co-workers, group of friends). nostalgia is the overall vibe here. pictures together feel good and “homey”.

extra mentions because i can’t even get over this pile, this is my favorite one out of all of them. it just feels how a polaroid looks, but in the sense of being in love? i just keep seeing the little things🥹 walking alongside the beach, kissing in the photo booth, building a gingerbread house, picking their nose even lmao. wow ya’ll have custom fridge magnets too. i didn’t get that pics of them were frequent on social media, more so because they’re too special to share. this pile values their privacy so pictures aren’t taken with the thought of anyone else in mind, they’re very cherished. i did channel emotional milestones being posted (pregnancy, marriage, moving in, etc.) and i do see their own certified spot on your page (photo dumps, page highlights, name in bio). kinda like a virtual museum of their love to you and your love to them.

📸 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐬

❦— them. a potent photo trait is literally your fs lmao, they’re lowkey walking art. something about their facial features or structure are resemblant to a god’s—very pretty people, and we photograph them as such. capturing them from their good angles with the best lighting, it’s flattering. people stop breathing when they see these pictures.

❦— b&w. these are heartwarming pictures, ones that are wholesome enough to frame and hang on the walls. i’m seeing pinkies being intertwined and eskimo kisses, innocence personified. closeups of someone covering their face and hiding their smile, but peeking through their fingers to see the camera cuteee.

❦— work. big thing here, it was mentioned three times. y’all could have an online business together, one that encourages or promotes positivity (self affirmations, fundraisers, products, etc.) it could be popular, there’s succession (passed down thru generations) and a sense of being stable despite y’all being new owners.

there’s also “goodbye” and “big city”, working creates long distance travel which means the time y’all usually spend together gets split in half. someone has to leave frequently and for long periods of time, this in turn creates photo dumps (which are so common here lol) and extra long captions.

❦— hermit mode. take a shot for each time i’ve said something’s cute lmao but this is so cute. so these are pics at home or in comfortable environments, in matching onesies or facial masks. just very big kid vibes, y’all even build pillow forts to sleep in them awww. this is peace and quiet with each other.

❦— phone. i channeled facetime and audio messages, “listen to me.” ya’ll spend hours upon hours on the phone. no matter if it’s meaningful convo or a simple check in, y’all will talk all day until your mouths go dry. taking screenshots of their goofy messages (hilarious btw) while falling asleep on the phone, y’all can’t get enough of each other. this is someone that will listen to and send songs that remind them of you, creating playlists that y’all will listen to together.

❦— landscapes. beautiful views with them, emphasis on beautiful. orange sunsets, mossy green hills, glittered night skies. blooming gardens or snowcapped peaks, nature as a whole is prominent but def within photos. a “secret” code is here; if someone isn’t in the picture entirely, their stuff will be so that we know they’re around. (car keys or a phone, initials in the sand, half-eaten food etc.)

❦— guess what? “we just fucked.” lame i know lmaoooo but this is what y’all do, leave writing on foggy windows or wet handprints against shower glass. it could be wet stains on the bed, bite marks on the thighs—anything goes to snitch on y’all selves tbh. even seeing red scratches across someone’s back, yet they grin with a thumbs up.

❦— nudes. if your person is a male, pictures of their wand are reoccurring. very reoccurring lmao, whether it’s sent from them or taken by you. specifically pictures of your hand wrapped around their wand after they’ve🥛 but there’s videos too, more of the oral part before the finish lmao. this is on the feminine’s phone in particular, she has a hidden folder in her camera roll just for these.

❦— home videos. y’all have beautiful sex together, as in pleasure that’s meant to be on film fr. emotions and passion at an all time high, it’s as if the walls were painted in y’all’s intimacy. “aesthetes.” so much thought and effort are put into the final product—props and low lighting, burning candles, background music. it’s a movie scene, even down to the settings that resemble paintings.

❦— the fool. it’s normal for nsfw pics to happen outside; in nature or in public spaces. wild cards fr, you’ll end up doing it anywhere and everywhere (oral included). no regard for the law or peeping toms either, y’all get too wrapped up in each other care. this is in restrooms, at parking lots, on beaches, etc. just don’t get caught lmao.

end.❤️‍🔥 previous reading

𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞 ✞

🃏queen of cups↺. 6os↺. 5op. 10op↺. 9oc. cleanse and ideation↺.

i want to mention that i noticed a dime while shuffling—this made me think “a dime a dozen” or “diamond in the rough.” this is on the fs’s part, they put you on a pedestal. you’re a trophy to them, the winning prize, someone that they’re so proud to experience and witness in their everyday glory. no one in the world reminds them of you, you’re indifferent and cherishable. your own person. channeled that this is evident in their eyes—in pictures you’ll notice a glimmer or glint, even the admiration on their face. in awe of all that is you.

these are photos that can’t be shared, ones that are kept secret and stowed under passwords. “your eyes only.” this energy is very secretive, very “shhhh” and it seems to be a double edged sword situation. this pile’s future spouse has an outside relationship, someone they’re involved with despite their attachment to you. it’s shitty because y’all truly have a bomb ass connection but the secrecy behind it overshadows the love. the emperor in retrograde, their control over the situation is a nuance to the issue. the problem lies in their dismissal of reality, life outside of the fantasy they’ve created. pertaining to them leaving their current partner, it’s no negotiation on how or when to do it. they want to leave on their own time, but you’re not a fan of that sentiment because it’s tiring. this person is so matter of fact tho lmao, they say “deal with it or don’t.”

ngl i do see this as possessiveness, but it’s not as terrible as it seems. the circumstance could obviously be better, but as far as their intentions go it’s never out of spite. it sounds confusing because yes this is a love triangle, but truthfully they’re more invested in what y’all have. there’s just no forward action after the fact which screams lack of accountability due to their pride and ego. despite their leo placements (trust me), this person emulates the cowardly lion and his fear of courage, particularly their refusal to come clean and cut ties. with cleanse and ideation being contrasting colors (red and blue i.e. hot and cold), moments of passion turn into missed calls and ghosting. long periods on their end, on and off or up and down, because they don’t want to accept defeat—being in love.

these photos remind me of a mask, one that hides the truth behind wide smiles and kissy faces. it’s a lot going on within this connection and tbh that aspect is more evident than anything in the camera. despite their emotional response to you, i did channel that they have the tendency to forget you’re human lmao. not in a weird disrespectful sense, but that you’re an item they want to keep “all alone and only needing me.” it seems unhinged but again this isn’t with ill intent, it’s a claim for them. “competition” and i’m channeling flavor flav’s dating show—this is an ego (leo) thing for sure because of course this person has insecurities revolving your other options. this is such a situationship lmao but i don’t think it’s all bad, just some major inner reflection is needed. i will say that pile three’s energy was quiet, this seems to be withdrawal from dealing with old patterns and that’s valid.

📸 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐬

❦— photobomb. this person is alwaysssss interrupting personal pictures lmao and with no shame too. i’m getting so many random instances of them, nine times out of ten they’ll be in the background of whatever is taken. channeling live photos specifically; you’re posing in the mirror as they walk in to bother you lmao. they start to grab at your waist to give you a kiss, but you’re laughing and squealing instead. they’ll have moments as such, but their gestures are significant (middle fingers, expressive faces, waving at the camera etc.)

❦— scorpio. very sexy, secluded energy is significant. for obvious reasons it’s borderline sneaking around, so the air of enticement is always there. “risqué.” there’s something about the lighting that adds to this dynamic, either lowering brightness or dimming the contrast (me coded) to “seduce” or add mystique. also it just looks better lmao.

❦— three of wands. specific so it’s not for all, but someone in this connection is either bisexual or bi-curious. this could even point to a polygamous or open relationship because i’m seeing threesomes or kissing people of the same sexual orientation. maybe even doing things with this person’s outside connection(s), it was mentioned. this didn’t come off as a photo trait but i still put it in lmao take what resonates.

❦— thin ice. one or the other are using their partner’s state of vulnerability as a quote unquote mindfuck😭 this is when they’re upset (yelling, crying, silent treatment etc). i even see someone sticking up their middle finger as their person spams a bunch of pictures. “aw you mad?” this seems to be the fs’s game of choice and it’s irritating bc sometimes they can’t read the room lmao.

❦— honey. this lands since together y’all seem to be hot and sticky, but turn out sweet at the same time. your person’s teasing and childish antics tie into this too (sticky), they’ll send pictures of things they ordered for you or send money to make up for upsetting you.

❦— hot. honey hot lmaoo don’t unfollow me yet. “turn me on” and “sexy sexy” came out, pretty self explanatory. i could see the energy if anything, y’alls energies are intense af. it’s like looking at porn in the form of a couple, very cunt tbh (i hate myself). sexual innuendos come from this too—grabbing crotches but it’s not in view, peeking at them from under the sheets, biting fingers or being choked.

❦— aquarius. very unserious couple lmaooo (take a shot for each lmao lmao), ya’ll are so silly together. this is milk mustaches, cheek biting, sniffing armpits, clenching butts—literally anything dumb. fun environments or dates that require being active, ones that are out the box or outside comfort zones. rock climbing, bungee jumping, parasailing, rooftop golf, riding atvs etc. veryyy fun pics.

❦— evidence. i didn’t want to include this because i don’t encourage it but we move. whatever pics come out of this specific part, they’re going to be vile. just outright nasty lmao and it’s for a reason. this is def ammunition for the feminine, this is her weapon for those that try to sabotage this relationship out of spite or competition. saved for “rainy days.” this is one leo ass pile😭

❦— aphrodite. because you’re breathtaking, they’ll catch you in the moments of being “free” or at ease. like when you’re getting undressed for a shower or when you’re glowing after great sex. capturing minuscule details that only a lover would notice, they see true beauty even when you aren’t attempting to be.

❦— nudes. the feminine is naughty oooo. “invisible ink.” she’s sending nudes like invitations lmao, but on the occasion that y’all have been separated for too long. wants to show her partner what they’ve been missing, or at least what they can’t have. “look since you can’t touch.” it’ll be torture too lmao, she’s def dolled up and posing in whatever’s sheer to flaunt her goods.

when it comes to sexual media in general, y’all are always on the same page. whenever, wherever, however—it’s always reciprocated because it’s always wanted lmao, it’s exciting and keeps things fun. sexting at work, whispering dirty talk into the phone, masturbation videos before noon etc. admiration of each other’s bodies is here; heart emojis and words of affirmation.

❦— queen of coins. this is value during pleasure, goddess treatment when it comes to bedroom activities. tbh if y’all stared at them long enough it’d just get y’all hot and bothered for more. i’m channeling that your person will dead send money in return for being blessed omg. roleplay and cosplay were mentioned, y’all go shopping for new costumes or items together.

had to mention because it kept reoccurring whenever i edited this specific pile—i kept repeating lmao after certain sentences or wanted to put in dumb shit for comedic presence, and i wanted to be blunt with this pile so bad because y’all felt so bestie. this was so y’all’s fs lmao idk who they are but they’re nothing but jokes, a pure clown at heart. i thought it was cute because i interpreted it as y’all being so connected that even when y’all are far apart y’all are still so close.

end.❤️‍🔥 previous reading

𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫 ✞

🃏5os↺. 2ow↺. 3oc. the hermit. the magician↺. flow↺ and growth.

off bat it seems that pictures didn’t come into fruition for a while, at least three-five months tops. “no sudden movements.” resistance and ghosting are here, someone is running from the connection out of fear. the hermit card means that they’re scared of stepping outside their comfort zone to take a risk. not even in a negative way it’s just that they’re terrified lmao. this is def bestfriends to lovers but there’s turtle movement around the union coming together—that same someone doesn’t want to ruin the friendship. they don’t know this obviously, but y’all are actually a divine union. “ancient” so this could be souls from a past life coming together again. “grounded as human beings.” this is so slow burn tho lmao i can deadass see a tree starting to grow but in slowww motion.

this person fantasizes heavyyy about taking passionate photos with you, but again y’all are nowhere near that level of commitment yet. pretty sure this reading’s timeline is during the beginning or middle of y’all’s friendship since there’s so many downloads about comfortability and not wanting to mess up. they’re fighting temptation so bad it’s wild lmao, they’ve never felt this strongly about someone—let alone a friend. red hearts are in their eyes whenever you’re near, but they’ll still turn away to avoid facing the truth of their feelings. it’s annoying to them too lmao, queen of cups represents the emotional pull your presence has on them. to be caught up in the depths of inner reflection is so outside themselves and yet here they are.

someone else is involved with the pacing of this connection. the three of cups being pulled is representative as a person or situation outside of y’all, one that they’re incapable of leaving though they’re desperate to. “can’t.” something about being bound (marriage, children, parents, religion etc.) is the reason why. whichever or whatever it is, unfortunately it’s not an easy fix. their energy is obviously the most prominent and that’s because they’re yearning for this idea of becoming more, they just hate that blockages exist and are effective. you’re a literal pleasure to be around, they wish to easily accept and embrace all that you should offer. channeled tupac’s love letter to jada and how he wrote, “you bring me 2 climax without sex.” beautiful ass words from him btw, but in correspondence to your person this is what they’d say about you too. it’s a lot to relish in and it’s prob not obvious, but they do worship the very ground you walk on. admiration, adoration, appreciation in every way possible. honorable mention, your future spouse loves talking to you. general conversation is nice, but y’all peel off the layers of topics that are taboo or undiscussed. the conversation will reach the very ends of the earth just to double back again for more.

didn’t realize until now that pics together weren’t mentioned that much because this person had some things to say instead lmao. it’ll start off discreet, sneaking photos of you from behind or getting them walking past your table. this is cute considering the reading was mainly from fs’s perspective, but you’re the one that’s taking “accidental” pictures of them first. and when this person happens to take “accidental” pictures too, they won’t ever delete them. keepsakes. those accidents soothe the big fat secret crushes y’all have on each other. y’all are literally 🩷 in human form, or puppy love as a couple. very cute like i’m squealing for y’all.

📸 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐬

❦— spam. “123” was pulled twice, but instead of countdowns i channeled multiple pictures at once. getting in each other’s faces for the fun of it, catching them off guard or at their “worst” to be silly lol. i see y’all picking out the most embarrassing ones and saving them to y’all’s favorites.

❦— beyoncè. “middle fingers up, put them hands high.” boy do y’all love this gesture lmaooo this is def in almost every pic if not all. i did hear until it’s used with direct intent then the rest of the song came in😭 this is a jab at their on and off behavior, y’all have periods of being beefed out bc of it.

❦— hair. someone’s hair is prominent, could be curly? if not it’s still apart of photos together, it’s even a prop sometimes. very nice hair, bold or beautiful. this is using strands of hair for mustaches or pretending to eat it with wide eyes lmao.

❦— taurus. could be food pics as well, but i channeled netflix and chill vibes. lounging around with y’all’s legs on the other or using chests as pillows. y’all send screenshots of movie favorites (actors and directors, behind the scenes, monologues etc.) or of movie knickknacks. seeing pics at comic-con and animals in character costumes. movie funko pops or figurines too.

❦— venusian. this is someone that will always always always compliment you before, after, or during a picture. if you ask them to take one of you, you’ll notice how fucking long it takes them to do it. i’m seeing them look back and forth, from you to the camera, because “wow you’re real.” gorgeous too. taken aback for sure but they’ll hide it behind witty little remarks. “wow you actually look nice today” but instead it’s the shittiest attempt at hiding what they really want to say.

❦— old friend. waving hello or goodbye, someone is doing this to the other as they come closer or farther away. pictures while they’re walking, seeing small smiles and timid hands. sweet gestures are significant, followed by blushing cheeks or shy eye contact.

❦— baby. this🥹 this is literally y’all’s aesthetic in most pictures. it’s like looking at puppies and kittens, how your whole demeanor goes soft and you can’t stop saying “awww.” tenderness is always there and it’s shown—forehead kisses, tracing noses, wearing each other’s shirts or hoodies, hugs from behind etc.

❦— boobies and more boobies. boobies.

❦— fluids. horrendous ass word but these are pics of 🥛 or 🧃 on each other’s faces. releasing on your lower body, or you’ll get them drenched in yours. if this person has a wand, i’m seeing it lodged in your mouth or being tapped across your cheek. this includes (loud and expressive🤭) self-masturbation on their end as well.

❦— condiments. yessss this is them putting whip cream on your neck to suck it off or pouring syrup into your belly button and licking it out. not food but ice cubes were mentioned too, dragging it along your body or kissing it into your mouth. plus they’re delicate with it. these are vids more than pics, but nonetheless y’all hot af lmao.

❦— lingerie. high quality, as in lace corsets and beaded garters that give off haute couture. getting the vibe of something expensive, and it doesn’t have to be but y’all not wearing nothing cheap lmao. doe or siren eyes in the camera, along with lewd poses and provocative faces.

❦— hotttt. vids of them taking control or dirtying you up real good since they’re on camera🥵 rough and nasty, crying and begging type shit. i’m hearing taunting or a tone of condescendence while they pound harder and deeper wow. very raw and disgusting i love it. choking and spitting even, they’re extremely intense when they want to be and you’re going to love it lmao.

❦— aftercare. capturing each other’s naked bodies, either rubbing against one another or winding down after a round. this is when it’s all said and done, when y’all are out of breath and exhausted from banging each other’s brains out lmao. but it could also be the slower part of intercourse, where y’all still “attached” but it’s coming to an end. bro y’all are hot af😭

end.❤️‍🔥 previous reading

𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐯𝐞 ✞

🃏5ow. 10ow↺. death↺. 4os↺. 9ow. 2os↺. space and passion.

starting with the cards space and passion, this pile def has to tiptoe around the concept of taking photos with their fs. whoever they are, there’s disapproval around them being romantically involved with you. channeled “good girl gone bad” and it reminds me of the preacher’s daughter who turned out to be someone different than expected. with death in retrograde, that’s literally what i just said lmao—fated transformation will occur during this person and after. matter of fact, all of the cards in reverse represent the people whom are trying to lure you back into who you “used to be.” these people fear your transformation because they think it’s happening under the circumstance of pleasing your future spouse and not for personal gain. something tells me this is family talking opposed to public influence or nosey exes, and i also feel like you’re without a voice here. people don’t hear you out even when you try to speak up? with the nine of wands, you’re incessantly being put in positions where your beliefs are challenged as an adult, but this could stem from childhood as well. chiron in the 3rd, lillith in the 4th, and mercury in the 12th could be significant.

going back to this person, they give me first vibes. not in the sense of losing virginities or love and heartbreak, but your first sexual awakening. the aura around pictures with them are intense enough to be sexy but the dark and brooding type that’s why i made the assumption of this being the opened door to devotion. this feels like sex magick lmao, you’ll feel bonded to them whether it was before or after the first time. you’ve never been this infatuated before and if you think you have, no you haven’t. this is going to sound lame lmao but y’all’s energy feels like my persona on here, the profile pic and username. kourtney kardash and travis barker are a better example since they’re an actual couple. y’all are like them, not their entire relationship but the aesthetic they share and how in lust they are. don’t hate me either but i’m picking up on how kourtney pretty much changed her whole look to match travis’s vibe, this is that too (don’t do that tho, be yourself baby).

lmao let me again mention that people are pissed at this union like real bad. of course they don’t necessarily matter considering this is your life, but funnily enough they want the best for you. don’t get me wrong, however way they go about expressing this could def be better but the intention isn’t to be assholes. four of swords in retrograde, their thoughts revolve around emotional stability and maturity—you’re too young for them (fs) in terms of naivety. “ticking time bomb.” there’s truth to this tho and ofc you’ll discover why that is once it’s time to. bringing up the nine of wands again, as a whole it turned out be an age gap—your person could be older and it doesn’t have to be a huge ass difference but it’s not subtle lmao. channeled the trope dbf!character x daughter!reader😭 ngl that sums up why there’s so much tsking around y’all being together. y’all better be of legal age, and please careful when old creeps come around because no.

ngl this seems to be a karmic relationship that comes with a profound lesson; don’t get discouraged either, this is going to bring in so much growth as a physical and spiritual being. this is meant to help you transition through life seamlessly, or at least without the mindset of giving up. this lesson seems to be made up of spiritual guidance bordering past wounds (relationship, childhood, generational etc.), a universal test that’ll heal the old and assist the new. you’re kicking people from the past back where they were left at, very intent on standing where your foot lands. beautiful baby, congrats to your future self!

extra notes because i had no space to fit them in with the other paragraphs. as i said earlier, people are against y’all’s connection but it’s not just your family members that try to intercept. “tabloids.” i think your future spouse may be in the public eye? i didn’t pick up on fame in particular, but there’s some type of attention on them that gets put on you. regardless, the situation brings a shitload of haters. it’s weird tbh because people don’t not like you but at the same time they do?😭 “bittersweet” came to mind and that’s replicant of this energy in a way? “you deserve better.” people want to save you from something they don’t think is worth your time, but then want to rub it in your face that they told you so? bro idk who this person is but they are notttt popular, people not fw them at all lmao. it’s negativity around them if anything but i just heard “bad publicity is still publicity”, maybe that image works for them.

📸 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐬

y’all must be special irl this pile is so different from the others lol—i didn’t pick up on photo traits but personality traits instead so i went with it. there’s no nsfw section for y’all because i didn’t pick up on that either, however there are four more piles for y’all to choose from!

❦— green eyes. this could be literal green eyes, but i felt more of an envious energy instead. surprise surprise the same people that hate on y’all’s relationship wish it could be theirs. people are jealous of what you’re getting with them, or “earning.” gifts and pretty things for being their spouse, it’s one of those dreams that everyone wants but only few have.

❦— king of wands. daddy warbucks himself, this person is for sure rich af. they’re someone with lots of power, lots of control, lots of fucking money lmao within their career. i don’t get that they’re ceo of wherever they work, but they have enough pull to take trips around the sun and bring you along too. “penthouse views” are included (obvi).

❦— honey. this person def has some seasoning to them, heavy dilf and silverfox vibes around their appearance. seeing a beard, low eyes, maybe even flannel shirts lmao. some of y’all have the twd cast (andrew lincoln, norman reedus, jeffrey dean morgan) and pedro pascal for face references. a rugged daddy basically😂

❦— cherries. maybe this is someone’s favorite fruit? this made me think of the tropics or places similar to the virgin islands. frequent flyer miles, traveling to visit warm beaches and clear coastal waters.

❦— hunter x chaser. this is such forty-year old energy lol it’s charming and that’s what they typically know best. your future spouse def got on your nerves with how much they kept hitting on you😂 not in a weird way, but in a way where they were intent on getting your name. i’m seeing phone number offers and warm smiles, crow’s feet around their eyes too. there is a sense of rejection here, but eventually you cave to their advances.

❦— 22. could be significant to y’all’s age gap, or maybe you’re this age at the time y’all meet. this number made me channel birthdays or special celebrations (anniversary, party, holiday etc). we’re aware of this person’s bank account lmao so it’s no surprise that they’re fond of spending whatever to throw the best whatever. “cover it all.” they’re the type to make things extra special and absolutely perfect for you, no matter the cost.

❦— awakening. this is in regards to you, how being with this person brought a rebirth that ultimately forced you to shed old skin. “Jesus.” major spiritual transitions, regardless of if you believe in higher power or not. this person is the catalyst to writing a new chapter of your life and thriving in it, you’ll be so powerful without the burden of dragging dead weight and opinions. ngl i don’t think your future spouse is meant to be longterm based on how important this transformation is for your story, i think you’ll realize that in the end. “it was fun while it lasted.” you’ll grow and reap your blessings.

end.❤️‍🔥 previous reading

[starastrologyy]

Synastry & Composite Chart Observations

Please do not repost my work on any other social media platform even if you credit me :) Chart readings are still open but I will be closing them again at the end of a October :)

An Aquarius rising in a composite chart can show a couple who go against societal norms and expectations. They can seem like an “odd-pairing” or perhaps there is something unconventional or eccentric about how they appear to the world. Unless Venus or Mars is conjunct the composite ascendant they can seem like friends or a couple who has built a relationship that is strongly based on friendship. Interestingly, couples who have Aquarius on the descendent tend to be more open to long-distance or any other relationship patterns that are considered unconventional (an open relationship as an example).

A Sagittarius rising in a composite chart can indicate that the pair will travel together or learn a lot just by being together. They tend to expand each other’s world views and belief systems. Expansion, knowledge, and exploration are key themes here.

Mercury square Neptune in a composite chart can point to certain misunderstandings or miscommunications in a relationship. It is important for both people to be open and transparent to avoid intentional or unintentional deceit.

Couples with Saturn in the 5th house of their composite chart may have trouble expressing affection towards each other unless there are other mitigating factors. Feelings of ‘fun’ and ‘pleasure’ in the relationship can be stifled with this placement, unless the couple are actively working towards incorporating frequent date nights, vacations, and creative hobbies into their relationship. Some couples with this placement choose not to have kids or have very few.

Many married couples either have a composite Libra rising or have their Sun, Moon, or Venus in the composite 7th house. Saturn on an angle in a composite chart tends to be present in long-term relationship composite charts.

Uranus in the 8th house of a composite chart can indicate financial uncertainty or instability in a relationship. As a couple, they can handle their shared resources and taxes in a manner that can be seen as “haphazard” by some. Their investments as a couple can also undergo many unexpected changes.

When someone’s Moon falls into your 4th house, you may find yourself telling them about your childhood, family life or just very personal/intimate things about yourself. When someone’s Moon is in your 12th house this can also happen. However, you may not always feel very comfortable with how vulnerable you feel around the Moon person (as the 12th house person). It’s almost as if they can see right through you with this overlay. It must be said that the Moon person can at times find the 12th house person to be emotionally elusive (even if the 12th house person feels as if the moon person intuitively understands them).

Composite charts with Venus or the ruler of the composite ascendant in the 12th house often indicates that the relationship is very private or has to be kept hidden for some reason. The composite Sun in the 12th house can also indicate a relationship that is not very public.

When someone’s Venus falls into to 8th house in synastry, they completely transform the way you view or even handle matters related to love, values, and finances. Relationships that are 8th house heavy can be difficult to let go of or forget but they often trigger major personal transformations.

If I were to assign a planet to ‘situationships’ I would definitely assign Neptune. Composite charts that are highly aspected by Neptune or have Neptune closely conjunct the Ascendant, descendent, or midheaven can indicate that the relationship is not always clearly defined or perhaps the two are not always on the same page regarding where the relationship is heading. I read a composite chart for a married couple with Neptune in the 10th house. For them, this just meant that they both had to make career sacrifices to make their relationship work at some point in their marriage. However, I’ve also read a composite chart where Neptune was exactly conjunct the descendent. In this case, the relationship was undefined as one partner refused to commit fully. Although Neptune can create feeling of confusion, it can also show you where the couple can each other immense compassion, selflessness, and grace.

[wandasfifthwife]

(4) bruised ego ✩‧₊˚ competing series

hockey coach!wanda x fem!ex ice skater reader

tw: lots of discussion on dealing with an verbally/physically abusive mother, hurt/comfort, misunderstanding trope, slight argument, Wanda is kind of petty (but she doesn’t fully understand), angst with a happy ending, love confessions, super fluffy ending, there’s kissing at the end

a/n: we already know the drill, it’s not proofread babes. this hurt my soul to write, but the ending is so worth it.

prev chap ✩ ══╡˚m.list˚╞══ ✩ next chap



We have about 6,000 thoughts daily, and a majority of them are the same idea just repeated. Studies show that another majority of those thoughts are negative.

There were days when it felt like the stats were wrong because some days you feel like every thought is negative. The reason for that being your mother. She wasn’t with you physically, but her words still stuck.

If you were in bed too long, you could hear her telling you to get up. If you ate something with too many carbs, you could hear her telling you to put it away. If you spoke back to someone, you could hear her screaming. Some days you think you can still feel the burn of her hand on your cheek.

The triggers for these days are unknown. You do your best to block it out and seem positive as to not bother anyone, but you believe what she’s done is so ingrained in you it’s like your own thoughts.

Your girlfriend has been wonderful. A listener, provider, friend. She’s the first thing that’s felt like home in a long time. So it’s no surprise that you felt like you would scare her away. They made themselves known one weekend when wanda was out of town visiting family. Being back in your apartment with barely any stimulation was like leaving an open seat for the devil to arrive.

It started out simple. Just about yourself and how down you can be. It was somewhat positive as you had tried and successfully held off a few of them. You had to remind yourself of how grateful you should be, of how you’ve got a brother who cares, and a lovely girlfriend.

It started twisting out of control when it went past a day. One popping out of nowhere saying how down you are. It then did the worst by bringing Wanda into it. Why would she want to stay with someone who requires so much work? The emotional load on you felt treacherous; One you cannot handle most days, so how could Wanda?

It’s been two days since she’s been gone and since your triggered spiral. Wanda had called you when you were eating dinner. You hesitated, hand twitching from where it lay on your lap. You could text her to call you back later. It might be better to not drag her into it so soon. You can deal with your own thoughts yourself.

The two days turned into four, and the one missed call turned into six.

Your mind felt heavy. No matter where you went you could feel tears building in your eyes. Why weren’t you good enough for your mother. Why have you failed at a social life. Why did Wanda care for someone like you when she could have another who has their life together.

It was disgusting to talk about yourself like that, but how are you supposed to know after the childhood you had? Any compliment given to you felt like a non-stick band-aid. It’s purpose to cover a wound, but it falls off. It all felt like lies.

After five days your phone went silent. It still lit up, a text from Wanda asking if you were okay. To not worry her, you told her you were fine, just tired.

On Wanda’s end she was confused, concerned, and hurt. Her calls went unanswered and her tests went unread unless they were serious. Her last choice was to give you space and let you come to her.

It was mistake on both ends. A tiny crack changing into a chasm. Silence became common, but extremely uncomfortable between the two of you. No texts, no calls, radio silence.

When Wanda had come back, she had a sliver of hope you’d show up to practice and explain all of what was going on. When you realized practice was tomorrow, you had hope that Wanda would be ecstatic to see you and explain how she does need you.

Neither happened.

You were full of anxiety walking into the building, ears ringing. Tyler had been looking over at you often, but he’s been with you longer and understands. Wanda didn’t understand, watching from afar as you don’t think to come find her like before. It was like two separate people, you before she left and when she came back. She called everyone over and began practice as usual.

You felt an ache start in your chest, one pure as opposed to the others. It begged for you to seek comfort, for her to tell you it was all alright. You were fearful though, scared if you came to her she would react like your mother. The second practice was over you were almost rushing out, heart beating like it was going to fall out. Wanda had skated to the exit, previous emotions highlighted after what just happened.

“You need to talk to her, I haven’t seen you like this in—“

“I really don’t want to talk about this Tyler. I don’t want to hear another thing that I’m messing up alright?”

He nodded and swallows, looking out the window. Another mistake your mother would have represented you for. What kind of aunt talks to their nephew like that?

You drop him off and sit alone in your car for a minute. Wanda’s house was closer. And oh how every part of you aches for her to hold you near. So you give in and type her address in on your phone.

Your chest feels like it’s squeezing as you walk up the stairs to her apartment. With her door in front of you, you knock. Chest filled with hope that she talk with you, let alone be home.

“Oh,” she opens the door and crosses her arms, “why’re you here?“

“Wanted to see you.”

“And why now instead of three days ago? What’s up with this new avoidant attitude?”

Your voice gets caught in your voice, “nothing. Can I just come in, please?”

“It’s not nothing,” she huffs, “why is it so difficult for you to tell me? Busy at work?”

“I didn’t want to bother you.”

“I would have understood if you would have communicated that? Leaving someone in the darkShe steps back so she can place her hand on the door. You feel your eyes water as she begins to close the door.

“I need some time,” is the last thing she says before the door is shut in your face.

Your tears feel like they’re drying up as hurt and shock fills up every bone in your body. It was the last thing you had hoped to happen. You regretted driving here, now you have to deal with blurry highways. You wipe at your face with your sleeve and climb back into your car. You really surprise yourself at how you keep your composure until you’re back in your own apartment complex.

A cry comes from deep within you, one different from the previous days. This one hurt.

.˚₊┈୨♡୧┈₊˚.

Your days felt empty. It was hard most days to get out of bed and concentrate. You were thankful work wasn’t miserable, it ran its usual course for a typical 9-5 job.

Your brother tried his best, but gave you space unless you intentionally seemed him out. He was deeply saddened when you had came to him the night after you had fought with Wanda. His house was opened to you that night. It usually is, but it was especially after that day.

You continued to take Tyler to practice. Each trip there felt like you were chipping away at your heart. Wanda wouldn’t look at you and it felt worse than her glaring at you. Now you regret not answering her first call and being truthful.

Your thoughts shifted. Once being self destructive and now they’re empty. You would avoid looking in Wanda’s direction and now she’s what your eyes are looking for when you walk in the arena.

You were sat on the bleachers, watching Tyler play and occasionally looking over to Wanda. You tried to have hope that she would look over to you, acknowledge that you were there. It was another day of mourning what would never happen.

Your chest heaves and you’re quick to clamber down the steps. A few steps is all it took to carry yourself outside. Nothing on your mind but to leave before your tears would be a show for everyone around you. It was moments like these that made you wonder why anyone would want to seek out drama.

You gasp once you’re outside, trying to breathe in the fresh air but it feels like you can’t fully take a breath. The door behind you shuts, catching you off guard. You twist around and falter when you see Wanda.

“Wanda,” you cry.

Her eyes are sad as she watches you crumble, hands already reaching for you. You sink into her, hands moving around her to pull at the back of her long sleeve. Listening to your cries break her, tears forming in her own eyes as she stands there with you. Once the tears begin to quit, your face grows warm at noticing a family at the playground nearby.

“I’m sorry,” you say, voice cracking.

“No reason to be. You’re not required to wait until the perfect moment to cry, sometimes it just happens,” she runs a hand over your face, wiping her fingers over your puffy, tear-stained eyes.

“Tyler told me to come find you.”

“Oh, practice—“ you started to tear up again and she’s quick to be stern with you.

“Do not feel bad or apologize for anything else. I want you to stop being so hard on yourself. Listen to me. Practice ended. Tyler’s dad is coming to pick him up. Im going to pack up and then we’re going to leave, okay? I want you to quiet that mind, if you need me I’ll be right beside you, alright?”

You nod. Her hand finds yours, pulling you through the arena as she finishes up. She grabs any remaining hockey sticks, setting them back in the closet. You follow her around aimlessly, occasionally helping her.

“I parked out back this time,” she grabs her bag and keys off the stand, eyes looking to you after. She asks how you’re feeling, and this time you’re honey. You shrug.

“Let’s go home.”

.˚₊┈୨♡୧┈₊˚.

You’re not even a step into her apartment before she’s pulling you into a hug. A shaky sigh escaping her like she’s trying not to cry.

Your head hurts miserably from crying everyday, but hearing her hold it back causes another wave. It hurts when they form, but they still make an appearance, showing that your heart still has space to be wounded.

“While I do wish you’d have told me earlier that you’ve been feeling this way, I am not upset or angry at you for it,” she sets her forehead on yours.

“I am so sorry,” she cups your cheek as her own tears fall, “I said things I should have never said. And I pushed you away when I should have held you closer.”

“I don’t care,” you tuck your face under hers, “can we talk about this mess later.”

You feel her head move in a nod. Her hands pull you towards her room, where you both fall onto it.

She smiles, but it doesn’t feel real. You turn around so you can slide back into her. Wanda wraps her arms around you, pulling you close to her and sets her face on your shoulder.

“I’ve missed you.”

“Understatement,” you say and she laughs softly.

She presses a kiss to your cheek, “I want to stay here like this forever.”

“I love you.”

The three words take her back. Before you know it you’ve started another cry session. She flips you onto your back, smiling at the sounds you make when she kisses your face.

“Kiss me properly,” you demand, hands firmly holding her face in place. Wanda closes the gap, pulling your face closer and deepening it.

“I love you too,” she whispers against your lips, pressing a kiss between each word. Her arms wrap around you again, holding you tight. Being around her like this quiets all thoughts.

Resolving and moving past the situation will take open communication, but you’re both willing to take another chance. It was after you talked that you both realized the importance of being open with your partner as to not cause a misunderstanding. You both made an effort to not do anything before again. It took a little to work past the after-conflict. After a week, it was in the past. Every moment spent together was like you were mending what happened, and working towards the next day. Confessions and spending time together became frequent.

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[darkwolf989]

Fighting For Control (Valentino x Employee Reader, Valentino x Wife Valentino x Daughter)

HUGE TRIGGER WARNING.

Eating Disorders. Eating disorder Treatment. Valentino.

Valentino sat off to the side and gazed at the stage. One by one, his dancers strutted down, swung their hips towards him and gave a smile. Casual dress was required for this particular cat walk. Despite being known as one of the most ruthless bosses of hell, he still needed to make sure his girls were healthy, and taking care of themselves. After all, it was just bad business to have his girls passing out in front of clients. He nodded in approval as each girl walked, seeming pleased until one of his dancers seemed to wobble down the stage.

A frown crossed his face. Reader. 

He knew when he hired her she would struggle with adjusting to a more comfortable lifestyle. And now as he took in her two loose braids, oversized sweater and jeans that he noticed last week were falling off her hips, alarm bells were ringing. He waited until the rest of the girls finished and then leaned over to the demon next to him. 

“I need reader in my office. Now. The rest of the girls are free to leave. And tell the nurse’s office to be on standby.”

Truth be told, he suspected when he hired her that she suffered from an eating disorder. Most of his girls did at some point in their careers. The majority of them came from a traumatic past, a life of fighting to survive. It was only to be expected that in this new line of work, the removal of that constant stress occasionally manifested in less than ideal ways. As he walked back to his office, he considered how he should handle this situation. In his early days, he would have simply forced her on the scale and if the number that flashed beneath his displeased him, he would have sent her off to the hospital for treatment, with the understanding that she could return only when she demonstrated progress. After all, he had a business to be concerned with, and an image to uphold. 

But now he had his own teenage daughter, one who struggled with her own issues surrounding food. Following her through therapy, working with her during family dinner time, and holding her as she cried because the little voice inside her head made her think she wasn’t good enough, would never be thin enough, pretty enough, had changed his entire perspective on both the illness and its treatment. He was thankful his experience in the field helped him catch his little girl before she was in as rough shape as reader clearly was, but his experience with someone he loved certainly made him a bit softer to his workers who were struggling. He took his seat in his chair as he considered his options. Separation of work and home- this wasn’t his daughter, or his wife. This was his employee. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t show compassion to her- concern and care. After all, she was battling a monster he had only glimpses into. 

A knock on the door pulled him from his thoughts. 

“Ah. Come in,” he called. He studied reader as she walked in. Her hair was back in two loose braids, a useless attempt to hide her hair loss. Her jeans were practically falling off her hips with each step she took. Her tee shirt and oversized cardigan were recognizable defense mechanisms- armor she was desperately trying to hide behind. He knew he needed to come from a place of concern, or he would be shut down instantly. 

“Take a seat muñeca, ” he said, gesturing to the chair in front of his desk. 

She did so reluctantly and her eyes averted his gaze. “Did I do something wrong, sir?” Her voice was soft. Frightened. 

“No, bebita. You didn’t do anything wrong. But I am concerned about you. Tell me the truth, doll. Is everything okay? Are the other girls treating you alright?” He asked. 

“Yes sir, they treat me fine,” she muttered. 

He considered how to approach this. Looking at the big picture, she was relatively new to him. She didn’t really know him or his methods. Softness, first, he thought was the best option. “You’ve been with me for how long now…three months?”

“Yes, sir.”

“And you live in one of the flats with the other girls, yes?”

She kept her gaze down. “Yes, sir.”

“Are you finding the essentials sufficient? Your room, clothing, food?”

That got a reaction out of her. He watched as she switched to defensive mode at the mere mention of food. His heart sank. Part of him wished his suspicion was inaccurate, but her behavior simply confirmed his fear.

“Yes, sir. Everything is fine. Can I go now?” 

“You may not.” He stood up and pulled a scale out from his desk. “I’m noticing a concerning pattern of behavior, cariño. I need you to step on the scale for me, hm?”

The defensiveness overtook her. “No.”

He expected such a reaction. She needed to be reminded who was in control here- it was her best chance at survival. The red chains sprang forward and wrapped around her wrist, bringing her to him. 

“I own you. You will do what I say, when I say it. And that includes this. Understood?”

He watched the familiar battle unfold. Unlike his daughter, he had control over this demon. More of the ability to save her from herself. He released the chains and he nudged her to the scale- the one that wouldn’t flash the number on the base, and instead send the data directly to his phone. Another trick he learned with his daughter. Without another option, reader stepped on. 

He checked the digits that popped up on his phone. Valentino felt his stomach drop. The number was by far one of the lowest he had seen. Guilt spread through him, anger at himself and this illness. He should have been keeping a closer eye on her.  He only hoped the threat of his contract would be enough motivation for her to comply with treatment. Technically speaking, he could keep her alive. But there were parts of an eating disorder he couldn’t control.  

“Alright, babydoll. Step off,” he said quietly, sliding a hand under her arm. “And sit for me.”

Terror spread across her features. “What is my weight?”

Valentino looked at her evenly. “Too low for me to comfortably have you on my stage, bebita.”

“But what exactly is my weight?” she begged. 

“You need to let me worry about that, sweetheart,” he replied evenly. He knew better than to get combative. After all, he was the one in control here. Not her. And he certainly wouldn’t let her illness work its way in. “Let me be very clear with what will happen next.  I’m going to escort you down to the nurses office. From there, you will be hospitalized until that number is in the healthy range.”

Reader crossed her arms. “You can’t do that! I’m an adult!”

“Oh I can. I own you. Or have you forgotten that?” He leaned forward, “And I refused to let one of my most promising dancers starve herself into nothingness.”

“I eat, Valentino. I do! Please, just let me go home,” she begged. “Please! I’m fine! I swear!”

He looked at her softly. “You’re not fine. That much is clear. Come along now. I’m taking you whether you fight me the entire way or not.” 

Normally, he would have the nurse meet them with a wheelchair for a number that low, but she was already so frightened. His heart ached for her, for the pain she was going through both physically and mentally. He slipped his hand under her arm and guided her down the hallway. She seemed to shut down in his grasp, a quiet, fragile doll. 

“You will do what they say, you will eat what they tell you and you will not fight them, do you understand?” He asked once they were in the nurse's office. He sat her on the bed. “We’re going to get a gown on you. Arms up.” 

He carefully pulled back her sweater.  She sat stiffly, not actively fighting him but also not helping him in any way. He tugged off her t-shirt and bit back the gasp that threatened in the back of his throat. Emaciated wasn’t a strong enough word. 

He kept his touch gentle as he tied back the gown and helped her lay on the bed, but inside, anger bubbled. This disease, this illness was something he couldn’t eliminate, as much as he wanted to. He watched and listened quietly as the doctor as he came over and began to work over her. After a few moments, the doctor turned to Valentino. 

“Two thousand calories, through her nose to start,” the doctor said. “And we’ll get her into therapy right away.”

He wanted to tell the doctor to talk to her, not to him. But that illusion that he was in control, not her eating disorder, couldn’t be broken. Valentino turned to her and to his surprise, she looked furious.

“Five hundred. And no feeding tube.” She shot back. 

The doctor looked at Valentino and Valentino bit back a sharp word. It wouldn’t help anything for him to be angry.

. “This isn’t a negotiation. What the doctor says, goes. The only choice you have is if you take this willingly or we keep you too sleepy to fight.” 

His words seemed cold even to him, and he honestly suspected that that was an empty threat. He doubted her body could handle anything extraneous at this point. But by the expression on her face, she didn’t know that. 

“Valentino, no please,” she begged. “I’ll eat more, I promise.”

“Then prove it,” he replied sternly. He laid a gentle hand on her forehead, “I want to see next week's weigh in significantly higher.” 

Her tone hardened. “I don’t have a choice, do I?”

“You do not.” 

“Fine.” 

Valentino watched as the doctor slid the tube into her, biting back the frustration that was building in his chest. Flashes of his own daughter being threatened with the same treatment raced through his mind.The threat was enough to scare her into his arms, sobbing and making the same promises. He was thankful she had kept her promise, and came home that day, willing to consume what the doctor prescribed. To an extent, of course- but they worked through it together.

Finally, once reader was settled, he watched as she closed her eyes. She had to be exhausted. He hoped she realized now that she was in a safe place, and they were on the same side, but he doubted it. Which was fine with him- he didn’t mind being the enemy for the time being.  

“Will she make it?” Valentino asked as they stepped out of the room. 

The doctor shrugged. “She should. She’s lucky you are so…attentive to your employees.” 

Valentino felt his expression harden, a mask to protect helpself and his reputation. “It’s bad business to not be. I’ll check in on her tomorrow. If she needs anything, let me know and take care of it the best you can in the meantime. I expect updates- this one shows promise on my stage.” 

And with that, he turned and walked out. The clock on his watch said five, and he needed to go home. Exhaustion swept over him, feelings of helplessness and the worry that that could have been his daughter. His wife. Both struggled with their own body issues. The desperate feeling of anxiety overwhelmed him. He checked both their vitals on the app he had synched to his phone. The numbers were fine, but just checking wasn’t enough. He needed to see them, needed them in his arms, and needed to make sure with his own eyes that they were safe. He walked from the elevator to the door of his wife’s office. He pushed open the door without a knock and closed it behind him. 

She looked up from her computer. He smiled as he took in the sight of her. Pretty blonde hair pulled back into a loose bun. Blue light glasses to prevent headaches. And an outfit that she could dominate the entire world in. 

 “Hey honey, what’s up?” She asked as she stood up. “Everything okay?” 

He pressed his lips to hers and wrapped her in his arms. “Just a long day.” Even to him, the words sounded flat. He pushed her head to his chest and held her against him for a heartbeat. He wasn’t ready to talk, not yet. At the moment, he just needed to hold her. 

She gave him a knowing look. “Mhm, sure. Bed tonight?” 

Of course she knew. He knew she knew. And she wouldn’t press the issue, not until he was ready. Or until bedtime. Whichever came first. 

“Is our baby princessa home or did she stay late at school?” He asked as he slowly released her. 

His wife pressed her cheek to his and gave him a nuzzle and a kiss. “She’s in her room last I checked. Why? Did she…”

“No, no. I just want to see my daughter,” he replied quickly. “Go back to work mi amore. So you can come home sooner.” 

She looked at him with concern. “You did have a rough day. Let me finish up, I’ll be home in an hour.” 

He gave her another kiss before letting her go back to her work, and he made his way upstairs to their own floor of the V tower. Their home they shared with his two best friends. Down her hallway, his daughter's door was closed and he hesitated for a moment but knocked anyway. He needed to see her, for his own sake.

“Baby Princessa? Are you awake?” 

“Daddy? Yeah come in, I'm working on my homework.” He heard her reply. 

He pushed open the doors of the once pink room. Now everything within reflected her current interests. Blacks. Grays. Reds. Purples. Not too different honestly than her Aunt Velvette’s. It was an adjustment, watching her grow from a little girl to a sullen teen, but he was grateful she had the support, love and anything else she needed.

“Hi bebita,” he walked over and kissed the top of her head. “How was your day?”  He expected to be met with sullenness, an implied go away, Dad, I’m busy, that so frequently laced her voice these days. 

To his surprise, she turned around and beamed. “It was long Daddy, but look I got an A on my Spanish test thanks to you!” She excitedly handed him the paper, “look! I even got the bonus words right!”

“Ah, pequeño amor, I am so proud of you! You did the work. Not me. But come here, give your papi a hug.”

She stood up and practically ran into his arms and jumped up as she wrapped her arms around his neck. He wrapped his arms around her tightly and held her for a moment, feeling her weight in his arms. He let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. She was okay. She was healthy. They still had plenty of time together to be sure they had stamped her eating issues early on in life.

“Daddy, are you okay?”

The sound of her concerned voice broke him from his thoughts. He gently released her. His daughter was okay, and she would continue to be okay. 

“Yes, bebita. Come on, let’s pause your homework. Mom should be home soon, and let’s grab Aunt Velvette and Uncle Vox. We can go out to dinner and celebrate that A. How’s that sound?” 

“Deal! Thanks Dad!” She jumped up and wrapped her arms around him again. “Best Papi ever!” 

That he wasn’t so sure of, but he accepted the compliment anyway. 

At dinner that night, he watched how much she consumed. How she reacted to the arrival of dinner. He searched desperately for hints that her issues were making a headway. To his relief, he saw nothing- no sign that her illness was anywhere close to showing its ugly self. 

He laid in bed later that night, the weight of his wife’s head on his chest as he filled her in on the events of the day, his worries, his fears. His concern for both reader and his daughter. It felt good to get it all out, to have his other half to share life with. 

“I just, I wish I had acted sooner,” he finished. 

“But the doctor says he thinks she’ll be okay?” She asked as she pressed her lips to the center of his chest. “Then that’s what matters.”

“It could have been our daughter,” he said aloud. “I didn’t see any sign of it at dinner tonight, but it could have been her lying in that hospital bed. It could have been her so close to death.”

His wife sat up. “That’s really what’s bothering you, isn’t it? Not just the fact that you’re seeing your own employees- which lets admit, Val, you’ve started to give a damn about, but also seeing your worst fear for your own daughter blossom in front of your eyes.”

He nodded and followed ensuite. “I keep seeing that image of her, she was so thin it was terrifying. If I was even a week later…”

“But you weren't. You got reader into treatment on time, and are doing everything in your power to help her beat her illness. And, my love, our daughter is fine. We are doing everything we can to make sure that she continues to beat this. She’s in weekly therapy sessions, hell we haven’t had a dinner fight in almost two years.” She took his hands in his. “Val, you can’t beat yourself up over this.” 

He swung his legs over the side of the bed. He hated this, the lack of control The feeling of helplessness. He wasn’t used to this feeling- Valentino was all about control. 

“Babe, where are you going?” His wife asked. 

“To check on our daughter.”

He pushed open the door to her bedroom and to his relief, he saw her curled up under her blankets, fast asleep. He stood there for a second, watching the rise and fall of her chest. He looked at his phone for the second time that day. Her vitals were fine. She was fine. Reader would be fine. He felt an arm wrap around his waist and he looked down at his wife. 

“She’s as perfect as the day she was born,” his wife said softly. “Come back to bed, Val. She’s okay.” 

Valentino allowed himself to exhale and back in his own bed, he laid his head on his wife’s chest and closed his eyes, allowing the sound of her heartbeat to fill his ears. “Mi amore, why do the people in my life not see the beauty that I see in them?” 

“Val, I wish I knew the answer,” she replied tiredly as she held him. “But I don’t. But I can tell you that you’ve done enough for today, you did the right thing for reader, and you, my love, need to sleep. You’ll feel better in the morning, I promise.” She shifted herself under him and gripped him tighter. “I’ve got you. Now sleep.” 

He closed his eyes and allowed sleep to wash over him. His wife was right. Reader would be okay, and his daughter was okay. He would take care of them all with everything he had.

[mysoftboybensolo]

Is there an Asexual Problem in the Shadow and Bone Fandom?

(trigger warning: mentions of sexual assault)

This is something I have been pondering for a long while now, and with the recent season really made me consider it more. I want to state before going into this that I am a demisexual, in case this changes anyone’s mind of what I am about to say. Before going into my spiel, here are some terms I feel need to be explained; Asexual, meaning a person who experiences no sexual feelings or desires, not feeling sexually attracted to another; Aromantic, meaning a person who experiences little to no romantic attraction or feelings towards another; Demisexual, meaning a person who develops sexual feelings or attraction to another only after developing a close relationship, not based on first impressions or physical attributes; Allosexual, meaning a person who experiences sexual attraction of a regular basis. Now that we have that out of the way, let’s begin.

I feel as if there is an Ace problem in the Shadow and Bone fandom because it feels like everyone has things mixed up and is unaware of what the definition of asexual is, but there are a few people on here that I have interacted with, who came across more acephobic when discussing these topics. It also doesn’t help that there was a major issue with one of the writers posting a picture of two of the actors with a caption that was very, whether she meant to or not, offensive and harmful. But let’s talk about why I think there may be an ace issue in the fandom.

My first problem is how people view mainly Kaz, but also Inej. It is really bothersome when people say that they are asexual due to trauma. You can headcanon them as asexual if you have something else to back it up other than relying on trauma. Why? Because it’s harmful. Coming out to my friends and family that I was demisexual wasn’t always easy, because some immediately thought that it meant something was wrong. I was asked straight out by one person if I had been sexually assaulted and if that is the reason why I claimed I was demisexual, with someone even suggesting I go to therapy for it. This happens to people on the ace spectrum more than people think, leading to the allo-sexual people believing in the myth that being asexual means “broken” or “damaged”. It has been known to happen that a character can be both asexual and traumatized, but their sexuality shouldn’t be based on what their trauma is. Imagine asking a lesbian if they prefer women because they had a bad experience with a man. Doesn’t that sound incredibly offensive? It’s the same thing with ace-spectrum people.

Kaz and Inej do want each other, there are more than three passages which talks about their desires for each other. I personally headcanon them as demisexual, mainly because in those times the narration talks of desire, it’s always to each other, but that is just me. There is no denying that they want each other, just held back by their own traumas, and how they both want to heal in order to achieve intimacy. Quite literally, at the end of Crooked Kingdom, they are holding hands without gloves, and it shows that they are healing and want to try to further their physical relationship, and it doesn’t take away the great emotional bond that they have together.

Trauma is something that should be healed, it should not be something a person carries throughout their life, preventing them from living a healthy and happy life. Hearing people say that there can’t be anything more between them even in the future because they are asexual due to trauma feels like you don’t want them to heal from their abusive past. The fact that Kaz can’t even hold hands with her is sad, the fact that people touch Inej and she’s back at the menagerie is tragic, they should be able to have the chance to have simple intimacies with people, regardless of whether or not you want them to have sex. If your only argument as to why a character is asexual is “trauma” then you are doing it wrong.

The other problem I have is Tolya. I love Tolya, he’s a great character, and I know that many people who watch the show may have not read the books, but he is aro-ace. In Rule of Wolves, Nikolai asks Tolya why he is single, the text says “Tolya shrugged his huge shoulders. ‘I have my faith, my books, I never wanted more.’”, which is as close to saying aro-ace without saying the words (x). People have taken the tiny moment between him and Inej as something possibly romantic, and I hope the show doesn’t go that route, not just because Kanej is endgame, but because it would be stripping away the proper ace-spectrum representation the fandom needs. But what bothers me more is how fans, who may not know this, are being told by others why they don’t like the relationship will react harshly, saying that it’s not set in stone, that Tolya is whatever they want him to be.

So, a character who isn’t ace in the source material is suddenly ace, but then a different character who is ace in the source material suddenly isn’t. This is a problem. I was talking about this with another blog and their response was to say that it isn’t set in stone, how dare I try to change his sexuality, and I just don’t want Inej to have nice things. I didn’t change anything about his sexuality, it’s that way in the books, and the show never said what his sexuality is or isn’t, and this idea that Inej deserves someone who can touch her is incredibly offensive. This is similar to the one writer who made an Instagram post with Amita and Lewis, with a comment that says “Sometimes you need some skin on skin” link right here (x). This is incredibly offensive, to suggest that the only way a fulfilling relationship is through physical means, erasing Inej’s trauma, making fun to the point of being ableist of Kaz, and ignoring that Tolya is canonically aro-ace.

Diversity is incredibly important, there is no denying that, and as someone on the ace-spectrum, I always look for it, but when there is an actual character who is shown to be on the spectrum, it is incredibly disrespectful to change that just because you want to ship them with someone else. Imagine if Tolya was gay and you changed him to being straight because you liked him with a female character, that would have been bad. It’s the same thing.

In short, being ace is not a result of trauma, people should be allowed to heal, and don’t change character’s sexual/romantic preferences just for your own shipping needs.

 Tagging: @foxhellvar @darklingswhore @manikas-whims @smolandweirdwriter @lixiesbabyhands @lyannarhaegars @quillsthrills @freddycartr @freddycarterus 

[chaifootsteps]

I just don't get how Viv expects anyone to believe that she cares about being careful how she represents SA when she has:

made a sex joke when talking about the visuals that accompany Poison

allegedly not even put trigger warnings on what looks to be an incredibly graphic rape scene in a show with a 16+ rating

decided Blitzo is in the wrong when Stolas coerced him into a sex for services deal to keep his job going when he was being shot at, just because she decided to change tack halfway through and make them a couple

liked a Tweet saying Blitzo could have just 'negotiated his way out' of having sex with Stolas, despite Stolas having all the power and being a Prince (major yikes, don't know why that didn't get more pushback)

has a long history on HB at this point of depicting powerful people as being the sympathetic ones who need protection from the evil, vindictive poors who ought to be happy with their lot in life and not complain when the rich want to use them for their own benefit (which could easily be projection at this point given Viv's habit of using and discarding people with less privilege and social capital than her)

has a long history of misogynistic writing on HB where most female characters are either the Missing Mom Saint or else they're bitches or monsters (in other words, the Madonna-whore complex). The one exception is Millie who is the most underwritten character by far, and Loona who is constantly sexualized by the fandom and is barely even a character by s2

portrays abuse solely through the vector of 'who do I want the audience to feel sorry for because I like them?'

promoted a pin set with Angel and Husk being chained up by Val and Alastor, and acted like it's 'just an angst thing'

allegedly allowed Raph to storyboard the Poison sequence despite knowing they ship Angel and Val and maybe aren't the best choice if she wanted to avoid making this sequence just exploitative and shocking?

either outed Raph has having been a victim of SA, or lied about it since it contradicts Raph's earlier statements. it's hard to believe she got permission to say this when it came out in the middle of an ongoing Twitter slapfight

this sort of thing is exactly why people say her work is like fanfic. it's not only the 'shrew Stella stereotype', it's the insistence on shoehorning in dark themes and then handling them with all the grace and sensitivity of a 13 year old. it's the exact same impulse as the non stop swearing - it's wanting to be seen as adult in the most childish way possible.

if she really cares about SA and how it's represented - don't let someone who clearly has a history of drawing Angel being graphically abused be involved in the making of scenes including Angel and Val! (You managed it for Addict, what the heck happened??) Don't throw a temper tantrum, step back and think about what you're actually saying and what message you're sending to your young audience! Do the bare minimum courtesy of having TWs for the one thing pretty much universally agreed should have a TW!

but I don't think Viv will do any of that, because I think she cares more about being seen as a genius flawless writer than she does her audience or any actual victims of SA who don't agree that the way the show goes about it is good.

the problem is not Angel Dust or his being hypersexual.

the problem is Viv and Raph

Couldn't have said it better.

[libbee]

Karmic Relationship Concept

Karmic relationship was unfinished in previous lifetimes and purpose is to balance the energy

Both people feel karmic pressure or psychic pressure that "my heart is yearning for this specific person but I dont know whether they really exist"

Both feel like the other is their soul image, that "he/she is the one I was looking for subconsciously"

It is not about how cute, interesting, smart, rich you both are, it is about the feelings you feel for each other, that "I know he/she is flawed, but I cannot resist wanting him/her"

You both may or may not love each other!!! Karmic does not always mean loving or fulfilling. Karmic basically means balance of give and take

It may not be how you fantasize things. You can be in karmic relationship and yet fantasize a fairytale. So be realistic of your expectations 🙏

Sometimes people go through karmic relationship but learn nothing about themselves. They come out with list of complaints how their person was lacking, unfulfilling, disappointing. But the point is major self development

Some karmic relationship is the one that you feel like you were born to be with them, that "if not you, I can't imagine being with someone else". Every karmic relationship varies case by case 💕

But the major sign of how this particular FATED relationship differs from every other relationship is the INTUITIVE knowing of your person. That your intuition knew he/she is the one you want, even before you met them, your imagination and feelings guide you. "I knew about you somehow, I just knew"

Things happen around you that guide you to them. You gain sudden insights that remind you of them. You may even feel like you are changing into the kind of person and personality they are. That "Universe was preparing me for you even before I knew it" 💕

You both feel like doing a lot of things for each other. "You were so empty without me, let me do things for you"

You both find yourself in situations where nobody else comes to your assistance. You are for them and they are for you. No friends and family follow through, only you two are each other's rock

You both may be shocked how your life paths met in hindsight. The babysteps, sleepless nights, twists and turns of events led you to each other. "Zig-zag, that's how I found you"

You both may provoke strong emotions in each other. That "Something heavy in my heart I carried through my childhood, only to show it to you"

Perhaps you both had an intuitive idea of each other. That you had a mental picture of them or something about their personality you always knew or something that is unique or quirky about them that you were not supposed to know beforehand unless it was karmic

To attract karmic relationship, you also need to have the natal placements that trigger them

Whether they will last a lifetime or not, who knows?

You both tackle personal issues and insecurities. That everyone does tackle but in a karmic relationship especially, things and beef with other people sort out and you are at peace with yourself, you sort of forget your past and things change after you meet them

Your values align though they may not align with other people in your life, but this one person he/she is exactly on the same page as you

Maybe you were a social butterfly but you change into a wallflower so you can spend time with someone who actually matters more than anybody else

Perhaps you both had challenging lives but it is all worth it now. This one person makes all the effort worth it

To be continued..

[best-underrated-anime]

Best Underrated Anime Group J Round 1: #J4 vs #J5

#J4: Kids conquering dungeons to change the world

A Magi is a magician whose inclination toward magic is so immense that they can be said to shape the world. With their significant influence, each Magi chooses a worthy candidate to become a king, then helps them conquer strange labyrinths called "Dungeons" and acquire the power of mythical djinns within. Above all else, the Magi supervises their elected representative as they build a country that might one day bring the world to its knees.

Aladdin is a young Magi wandering the world in search of his true self. However, his journey is not a lonely one, as he is accompanied by his friend and mentor Ugo—a djinn he summons using his flute. On his travels, Aladdin also befriends Alibaba Saluja and guides him to a nearby Dungeon. With this newfound friendship, they begin an epic adventure across the world, witnessing various irregularities that seem more frequent than ever.

#J5: Girls live in a school, but not by choice

Carefree high school senior Yuki Takeya looks forward to the School Living Club every day. Consisting of the president Yuuri Wakasa, the athletic Kurumi Ebisuzawa, the mature Miki Naoki, the supervising teacher Megumi Sakura, and club dog Taroumaru, the club prides itself on making the most of life at school. There is only one rule the club members have to follow: all members must live their entire lives within school grounds.

[Admin: I didn’t notice it while screening the submissions, but the submitter’s original trailer and tagline contained MAJOR spoilers for episode 1. Luckily, I’ve watched this show before, so I can edit it safely.]

Titles, propagandas, trailers, and poll under the cut!

#J4: Magi: The Labyrinth of Magic

Propaganda 1:

Imagine characters from Arabian Nights/1001 Nights coming to life in an anime. Even though it is loosely inspired off of the tales, it is a unique time and place from most anime settings. It has action, humor, and deep concepts. One of my favorite parts about Magi is how well-developed the background characters are.

Propaganda 2:

This anime has a lot of philosophical takes on what fate is. Basically, is everything that happened to you caused by a force you can’t control or is it what you make of it? Is there something or rather someone pulling the strings on what should or shouldn’t be? Is the person you are because you were lucky or unlucky to be born in the wealthy family or not? Why are things the way they are? Why was I dealt with a shitty hand in life? Is it because I’ll never amount to anything, or is something doing this to me? Why are we here just to suffer kind of deal, but you know not the meme version, the really sad and real version. Then you have the side of the people who may have not had the best life, but found a way out of it. Why do some people get to feel the light when you went through the same thing, but still lost and in the dark?

Trigger Warnings: Partial nudity and slavery. One of the mains is a slave in the beginning, but the other two mains help free her from that.

#J5: School-Live! (Gakkougurashi!)

[Admin: The official trailer spoils ep1, so here, have the opening instead.]

Propaganda:

If you like Madoka Magica, you’ll 100% like this series. It’s hard to explain without spoilers, but it has a huge plot twist in the first episode. The anime is a short one with only 12 episodes, but it has an amazing manga as well! It mixes a cute slice of life high school anime with a darker plot, and it’s handled so well. It doesn’t seem like it’s just dark for the sake of being edgy like some other similar series. It covers topics like mental health and grief well, and it has as happy of an ending as possible for a series like this. The plot twists were executed so well, and I was sobbing by the end of the series.

Trigger Warnings: Animal Cruelty or Death, Graphic Depictions of Cruelty/Violence/Gore, Derealization.

[Admin: I had to remove the submitter’s explanations for the TWs because it will spoil the show greatly. You're on your own now. Proceed at your own risk.]

If you’re reblogging and adding your own propaganda, please tag me @best-underrated-anime so that I’ll be sure to see it.

[red-bat-arse]

Switch Yourself Part One

Steddie -Alpha/Beta/Omega

What if you spent your whole life feeling like some part of you was wrong, despite everyone telling you otherwise? What if you just never thought too much about something most people felt an innate connection to? And what if after everything got turned upside down, and then switched around for good measure, you found each other?

Or, there was an Alpha and an Omega, but by the time they got to know each other they had to do so as an Omega and an Alpha.

Part One/Part Two/Part Three

*

As a kid, Steve learnt about presentation from his family and friends first, and from school much, much, later.

The wives tale went that you could start to predict it as early as age two or three, which was about when children really grew into their mobility, being able to run and use more complex toys. For Alphas, they developed an aversion to the nest, trying to get out of it as often and as early as possible; for Betas, it was indifference, being just as happy outside as they were within it; and for Omegas, it was wanting to stay in the nest or help maintain it, or even simply when a baby took longer to crawl than others. Steve's grandmother loved to pinch his cheek and tease him about how he threw them off for so long by crawling backwards, but that it all worked out in the end.

They knew Steve would be an Alpha like the rest of his family. And they were right -at least, physically.

It was easy to ignore while he had his parents at home, caring for him and discussing their expectations for his life. Richard Harrington was an Alpha son of an Alpha son, and made it clear by the time Steve was six that he expected the same when Steve got older. Steve always expected that he wouldn't have trouble fulfilling what his family wanted, and that one day he'd chuff at someone and then have a rut triggered, and it would only be a matter of time before he settled down with a girl and they had a few pups. It was easy to ignore the way the thought always left him wrong footed.

He didn't know if he believed in that old wives tale, but after his childhood nest was dismantled he always felt empty and wanting. He did his best not to focus on it -to throw his attention into running around town with his friends and sports and eventually into taking pretty girls on dates. It was easy to let his natural confidence take over and push him into the stereotype of the jock-Alpha, comfortable being in charge and charming those in his circle, keeping everyone in line and on track. It wasn't really a hardship, he genuinely acted that way and so it wasn't a surprise when he started dating Nancy and let out a rough, deep chuff one night after a date.

But the thing was, when no one was home and he let himself zone out in his bedroom, his mind wandered to the hall closet where the extra pillows and comforters were stored. When he thought about his future, and the big family he wanted, it wasn't some unknown Omega he envisioned inviting him into their nest when the time was right. He didn't want to chuff at someone when he really let himself dream.

Even as his body slowly began to shift further and further along towards presenting as an Alpha, all Steve could think about was building a nest for himself, and one day letting an Alpha into it.

School taught him a bit better than his family, and Nancy too when it was clear after that first harrowing experience with the upside down that she was also showing signs of being an Alpha. Where primary sex was more or less straightforward, secondary sex was fluid and, though not exactly common, could change if there were major stressors in your life. It took awhile for the physical changes to solidify, so there were cases of a Beta turning into an Alpha or Omega based on their pack's needs, even up to when they were thirty years old.

Steve took the information in, but it never really clicked that it might affect him directly. Not until-

The Russians, and the torture, and the fire. Tossing and turning in his bed, in agony, until he heard someone calling from downstairs and he woke up enough to see Robin in the door to his bedroom. Until she came in and felt his forehead and hissed in sympathy at his temperature.

She spent a few minutes getting him water and a cool cloth for his face, helping him sit up to drink and choke down some pain meds. Steve felt delirious and when she tried to say something about going for food, he whined in the back of his throat like a little pup.

"Steve?" Robin whispered, and he tried to move his head to find where she was in the dark but he ended up flinching, his whole skull throbbing. "Steve, what's wrong? Please say something."

He opened his mouth and, mortifying, a sob was what came out. Robin sucked in an alarmed breath and it was like Steve couldn't hold himself back -he keened and reached out blindly, finding her hand with his own and a blanket with the other, pulling both towards himself desperately. Robin allowed him to wrap her up in his arms and kind of haphazardly drape the blanket over them, and it didn't feel like what he needed but it soothed his brain enough that he stopped shaking him.

"Steve, hey, it's okay, you're okay," Robin tried to comfort him, obviously anxious but her hands came up to run over his scalp and pet at his face. "If I'm okay you're okay, right? We're out of that place and you're going to be fine and we're both going to be okay."

She instinctively purred at him, and his mind said to chuff back, to reassure her he was okay, but that was wrong, it wasn't what he needed. Steve whined and hugged her tight, a sharp pain in his throat, and then he- he-

He chirped. It was strangled and miserable and it hurt, but what came out of his mouth was definitely the response Omegas were known for, and not the noise he should've made. Under his arms Robin stilled in surprise and Steve keened again, this time in confusion.

"Steve?" Robin asked, just as confused, but then she shook her head and pushed herself up -Steve forced his eyes open no matter the pain that shot through his head and watched her take him in with sharp eyes. He followed her head as it swivelled from the pillows pushed to the headboard and the blankets kicked to the sides of the mattress, and then down to the most embarrassing part, the shirts and sweaters that belonged to his parents he'd dragged in here in his pain induced haze when he'd been dropped off a few days ago. When he thought that, just like last year, he could handle the recovery on his own.

"Oh, Steve," she breathed out, a purr on the end of his name. "Let me fix things, one sec."

Steve shook his head, but Robin was already up and moving. She pulled his closet door open and grabbed his extra linens, bunching them up in a weirdly coordinated way before layering them overtop of his set up and tucking things in so they were more secure. Then she moved the pillows better, took a few and put them with the clothes near the foot of the bed, and at the headboard squished in some of Steve's sweaters; then with a nervous look, she stripped off her jacket and tucked it in too. Steve let out another quiet sob but made sure to nod his approval before she could second guess it -it was right, it was right.

"You were trying to nest, weren't you?" she asked quietly, crawling back in, once again accepting Steve's grabbing hands with grace. She was purring up a storm, and Steve's first instinct was to deny it but he let out another of those miserable chirps and her purring got louder. Steve had never been near a Beta who wanted to soothe before, and without his input his chest started hiccuping and forcing more chirps out. He still hurt from his injuries, but a big part of him was starting to settle.

"Okay, I can talk enough for us both," Robin tried to joke -Steve couldn't help but think it was cool she could talk and purr at the same time. "I think you're an Omega, Steve. I know," she pet his hair firmly when he whined in distress. "I know, I smelled you before and got Alpha, but -I mean, you also kind of weren't? I noticed it the first day we were on shift together, most of the time you were signaling Alpha, but there were more and more times I couldn't get a lock on it. I think I only noticed because I was around you all day."

Steve clung, not even able to feel embarrassed. Something had clicked between them over the course of Russian torture and the bad trip and the aftermath, and if there was anyone who it was okay to tell, anyone who Steve was pretty sure wouldn't judge him...

"I'm... maybe?" he cringed. "I don't know what's happening. I always wanted... I always wanted a nest. Pups and... and an Alpha," Robin made an encouraging sound, and it felt a little easier to keep talking. "But I'm an Alpha. Everyone knows I am, my parents expect me to be, and -and I used to chuff with Nance. I mean, I never got, uh, y'know-"

"Got it," Robin assured him before he forced himself to say a rut.

He nuzzled her shoulder in thanks. "But that's like, the only thing? So what's -I mean, do I -do I smell like an Omega now? Why do I-" He wasn't sure why he was freaking out. "Robin?"

"You're like one of those frogs in biology," she said out of left field -Steve sputtered in confusion. "Junior year biology? The secondary sex course?"

"I barely passed that year."

"Okay, well, there's frogs that switch sexes if there's a problem with the population, too many males or the opposite," she pressed on. "We can do something similar with presentation. Packs that have an Alpha but no Omega, sometimes a Beta becomes one, or vice versa. It's leftover from a recent ancestor."

"But I'm not a Beta. And I don't have a pack, not really," his parents certainly didn't count anymore, despite the front they kept up in public, and the kids, well-

"It happens to non-Betas too, Steve. And there's, uh, self-switching," Robin made a little weird chuckle. " You don't need to have any pack at all to do that. Like, mmh, studding, but you don't have a partner for it."

The absurdity of Robin talking about studding of all things broke Steve out of his fugue for a moment. "Robin Elizabeth Buckley! Studding?"

She smacked his shoulder lightly. "Get your head out of the gutter, my mom's a biology professor, dingus," Steve drew back enough to see her face and the red blush that crept up to her hairline. "Don't try and distract me. I think you self-switched. Here, let me-" she ducked down to his neck, and took a deliberate sniff, "-yeah, that smells -wow, well, first of all you need a shower, but that's definitely Omega."

"Fuck you?" she laughed at that, and Steve -he felt a bit better, but his hands still curled anxiously in the blanket over them.

He'd always wanted a nest, but he'd been afraid to make one. Afraid that it wouldn't come naturally like people talked about, or his Alpha instincts would override whatever desire he possessed for such a simple comfort and it would dissipate the second he actually put one together. He never let himself think about pups too closely, in case his carefully put together future of an Omega mate and the children they'd have morphed into something less acceptable. Let alone the idea of a chase, and which side of it he wanted to be on. He'd been afraid to think about a lot of stuff he wanted.

But they'd seeped into his life either way, hadn't they? Alphas didn't latch onto caring for stray children, didn't fuss with their looks and strength to attract a mate, didn't go nuclear with protective instincts when their pack was threatened. He was the quintessential mama bear stereotype -but mama bear had always been an Omega in the bedtime story.

Alphas guided and built the pack, Betas mediated and made it cohesive, and Omegas nurtured and protected it from harm.

"I turned into an Omega because I wanted to be one so bad?" he asked, curling in on himself. The nest around them made him feel safe, at least. "I thought I'd just, have to deal with it. Wanting it."

"Steve, come back here," Robin reached out and pulled him back into the hug, and they laid down in the nest together. "You're never going to have to deal with anything by yourself with me around, okay? Cause -cause I wanna be in a pack with you. it'd be just you and me?" she sniffled a bit, and now they were just being ridiculous, both of them crying in a cobbled together nest. "But I think it'd be nice. Platonic packmates for life."

Steve chirped again, louder and clearer than before, and forced himself to speak around the sound, "Yeah. Yeah I think I'd like that."

Robin didn't leave his house for another week after that; caring for him while he was sick and doing research on his switch so he didn't have to track down another Omega to show him the ropes. Her mother's notes and lectures helped a lot, and when Steve couldn't get up from bed she sat and read them out to him and wrote down stuff he'd have to remember or thought was interesting.

For instance, if he was making Omega noises, that meant his body was changing enough that specific parts of it worked differently than before. If he'd never trigger a rut, that probably meant he'd eventually go into heat, which was a bit of a daunting prospect. They quickly got over any squeamishness between them when it came to talking about sex and bodily functions, because as soon as Robin told him that Steve's brain spiraled.

He was going to have to go on birth control -or at least, if he decided there was someone he wanted to spend his heats with he would have to. He was also going to have to be much more scent conscious, given that Alphas and some Betas could get an inkling of his mood if it was strong enough. In courting, Alphas often made the first move, but that was generally because they could tell instantly if an Omega was interested based on the note or amount of scent an Omega let out around them. He might not be able to chuff anymore, but he could chirp, and purr and growl like normal, and maybe even trill if he practiced, since that was the hardest sound for someone with partially developed Alpha vocals to switch to.

The more... physical changes would come with time. When Steve went back to the doctor to check that his cracked rib was healing well, he mentioned the switch -not something Dr Corben was happy with him keeping quiet about for the few weeks it took. But he gave Steve a better timeline after running some tests, and a few pamphlets that were easier for him to work through on his own than Robin's mum's notes.

It was going to be interesting how his body developed over the next while. The doc said it would be easier since he'd never had a rut before, but he'd still have some pain given his muscle and fat would settle differently, his teeth and jaw might shift, and biggest of all, he'd develop a more or less typical male Omega anatomy.

Male and female Betas were the most common, with male Alphas, who had an external knot, and female Omegas, with twice yearly heats, the most common after that. Female Alphas were next, with male Omegas as the rarest, but only a little bit more so -they both had a harder time becoming and getting someone else pregnant, given the mix of developed reproductive organs that often didn't match completely how doctors thought they would. It was only female Betas and Omegas who didn't develop a dick, but if male Alphas averaged 7 inches and Betas 5, female Alphas and male Omegas averaged 3 -so Steve's might shrink a bit, but they would have to wait and see. And they each had a uterus and vagina -well actually everyone did, but if your presentation 'locked' for a certain amount of time, or generally anyone older than thirty, the irrelevant parts would grow vestigial since they weren't in use. Steve's were still in working order, so it might take awhile, but he'd eventually be able to have kids if he wanted them.

He was really glad he wasn't listening to wives tales about everything this time around. Because according to the doc, that was actually the clearest indication for certain presentations before it happened, not the nesting habits of toddlers -early vestigial atrophy.

"Well, but it's still only a guess. Look at me," Steve said absently, half his attention on folding laundry and half on the conversation he was having with Dustin. The kids had finally wised up to his switch when they came by after he was all healed up, but only Dustin was interested in talking about the particulars. If it got the kid's mind off of Hopper's death and the Byers' moving away, Steve would indulge him the less private stuff.

"I wonder if there's been any studies done on this," Dustin tapped his pencil on his notepad. "Like, you had Omega instincts all this time but got Alpha physical stuff. That implies it's not solely hormones that drive secondary instincts. Maybe it's partially coded in your DNA!"

"Big words, bud," Steve joked, and Dustin tossed one of his pencils at him. "Doc didn't really say. You should talk to Rob or her mum about it."

Dustin slumped over the table, writing something down -how the kid managed to give attitude for such a simple motion, Steve would never know. He loved him for it though. "I'm just saying, it's cool how different it can be person to person. You've been saying you changed because you 'wanted to be an Omega', but it sounds to me like you were already an Omega, your body just presented wrong. Stress switching is a thing, maybe your body unconsciously course corrected after, uh, the mall."

"Never thought of it like that. Doc said there's not much difference between self- or stress-switching, anyhow. He thinks I must've started a few weeks before that, though."

Right about when he'd left high school for good and his parents came home and did nothing but pick at him over every perceived failure. His grades, his health, his relationship status, his partial pack bond with the kids; the job at Scoops was a way to get them to leave him alone at the very least. Now, well, they hadn't come back since he'd been in hospital, but they'd certainly padded his bank account a bit, maybe out of guilt. Steve was trying not to care.

He was really trying hard not to panic at the thought of them finding out about his self-switching, at what they'd say about him now that the only thing he'd ever gotten right was gone. He was talking with Owens about getting some sort of deal on an apartment as soon as possible as part of his medical expenses, given that concern.

"Hm. Not like it matters, Steve," Dustin nodded once, decisively, and Steve made an inquiring noise in the back of his throat. "It like, suits you. Even when we first met I never really thought you'd be an Alpha. Now it makes sense."

Steve laughed at the way Dustin nodded his head again, like he was making some big statement. He really loved this pup.

*

Now Eddie, he'd never given presentation much thought except to figure out how much weed to smoke to curtail his heat-cramps.

*

I don't do tag lists!

[darthxvenus]

Random Astrology Thoughts #Dos

People with natal Mercury retrograde handle Mercury retrograde transits a lot better than those with Mercury direct. It's an energy they are of course already very use to. While the rest of us are loosing our minds dealing with crappy technology, cars breaking down, issues with travel, communicating, forgetting things, making plans that get thwarted or drastically change. Mercury retrograde people are like...meh.

Mars in your chart is how you get shit done. Your method to solving problems when they arise. What pisses you off, but also how you piss other people off. Mars in Aries is the action hero, they will take the lead first, jumping straight in, no thinking. "Let's handle this now!". Other's could get pissed at Aries hot headed-ness and lack of strategy, while Aries will be angry at the passivity. Speaking of passivity, Mars in Libra would prefer to skate around the problem trying to avoid it hoping it will just go away. They will be pissed at there being a problem in the first place, especially if they get confronted about it. Others will be angry at Libra's lack of urgency and avoidance to resolving the conflict. Mars in Scorpio is the "Ninja of the Night". Unlike their other Mars ruled cousin, they move in strategic and very silent ways. Scorpio Mars will be upset when others pry into their business, or discover their business and blab about it to others without their consent or ability to control the situation. Other's will presume Scorpio as sneaky and this could anger and even at times cause fear due to the mysterious movements.

7th house transits have less to do with you and more about the other people you have significant relationships with in your life. This is because the 1st house is literally you, and your life while the 7th is other people. 7th house transits may or may not have a major effect on your life. Jupiter transiting your 7th can mean abundance, blessings, wealth, higher learning, or travel plans coming to someone you are close to. You may find you have more options in terms of partners, as you may come across lot more people who may find themselves interested in you. Mercury transit someone you know may be learning a new skill, become more communicative, starting a blog or writing project, networking more. You may find people are more talkative around you. Sun transit, someone maybe achieving a goal, setting a new goal, thinking more of themselves during this time. You may meet people who are very expressive, seem to have big egos or are very goal driven during this month transit.

Chiron shows you what triggers you the most. Your biggest wounds and insecurities. These are also wounds you can help yourself heal from by helping others do the same. Chiron in the 3rd can become a "Voice for the Voiceless", encouraging people to speak up and voice their opinions without shame. Chiron in the 1st can become an advocate for people being and loving themselves and expressing their truest self unapologetically. Chiron in the 4th can become a healer of the home and family life. Helping others find their roots, or repair relations to their primary care givers or even children.

Planets in your first house will take over that house, and you will completely embody them. That planet becomes what you strongly identify as. Mercury in the first you identify with your intellectual/communicative nature, your ability to think for yourself and about yourself first, your cleverness, your strong opinions. Uranus in the first you identify with your oddness, spontaneous, and rebellious and sometimes chaotic nature. Jupiter in the first you identify with your optimism, your faith, open mindedness, jolly and freedom loving nature. Pluto in the first you identify with your inner power, inner strength, sexiness, mysteriousness, your pain/traumas, your ability to comeback stronger from any adversity.

[your-astro-mami]

Synastry: Mars-Pluto aspects

Mars-Pluto aspects can be quite complex as both bring a lot of energy into the relationship.

Mars is the planet of force, action, violence, deception, aggression, sex, energy. Pluto is the planet of regeneration, change, transformation, trauma, an indicator of what triggers a person, what his inner purpose is.

So combined together in synastry they can lead to a very strong connection.

If it's Mars-Pluto conjunction, then the relationship can bring out both people's energy. There is a great desire for change, movement, progress, growth. The Mars person is pushy and aggressive, while the Pluto person may feel like they are finally being given the opportunity to show up as there is someone who finally initiates that side of them. There is passion in the relationship, but it is one that is beyond physical. The pair is drawn to each other. This aspect can create a very powerful pair, romantically and platonically. Unstoppable, ambitious, fearless - they can push each other to do their best, there are no limits. There could be however, a battle for control over the other person. Mars is selfish and competitive, independent. Pluto seeks power and control and that is always manifested in the aspects with it.

If it's Mars-Pluto opposition, the pair can still create a power couple, but compromises are needed. In an opposition, the desire for control from Pluto's side can be stronger and the Mars person could feel irritated and overwhelmed by that. Oppositions usually work great with time and patience as both people bring into the other person's life the qualities they lack. Otherwise, they will try to overpower each other and that can lead to disruption.

If it's a Mars-Pluto square, it can be quite disastrous in some cases, great in others. The square is a strong aspect but it is an indication of major differences. With these two planets it can manifest as difficulty moving on from the past, a lot of arguments, difficulty giving or seeking forgiveness. The Pluto person can be very vengeful and the Mars person may seek ways to provoke them, irritate them, even if it's just for a reaction. As I mentioned, forgiveness is pretty impossible in the relationship and if something occurs, even if they manage to fix the relationship, the old problems will continue reoccuring in the future. There is a battle for power and control, especially from Pluto's side. Two dominant characters clash. There is however strong sexual attraction and undeniable passion.

If there is a Mars-Pluto trine it can be an indication of chemistry, natural attraction. The pair is good at supporting each other, bringing out the other person's strength and control. It is honestly a great aspect as there is a lot of energy between the two, but compared to the other aspects it is not as forceful and difficult.

[starastrologyy]

Astrology Observations 🥀

Please do not repost any of my work on other social media platforms 🖤

Neptune in the 2nd house can indicate making money through spirituality, or anything involving the occult. Caution is required with this placement, as people with a natal Neptune in the 2nd tend to spend money quite freely.

Venus conjunct Pluto in the 2nd, 8th, or 11th house, can show someone who has the potential to generate/inherit/earn a large sum of money at some point in their life.

Mars in the 12th house is such a common placement in the charts of people who have frequent night terrors. I’ve actually found that people who have 12th house placement dream a lot in general.

A lot of Aries Moon women get branded as “mean girls”. I will always assert that this is one of the most gaslit placements! But I’ve noticed that people often paint them as “the bad guy”

Whilst I’m on the topic of Aries Moons. I’ve read so many people say most of them grew up “spoiled” and were used to “getting what they want” and that’s why they are notorious for being temperamental. However, I STRONGLY disagree with this sentiment. Many Aries moons grew up in environments in which they felt invalidated or unheard. So, as they get older they find it hard to regulate their emotions/anger. Im in no way defending anyone who behaves poorly. However, I don’t agree with how most people perceive Aries moons. Aqua placements too!

An eclipse cycle happening on one of your angles can often trigger life-changing events that are related to the angles on which they are occurring. Example, a solar (or lunar) eclipse happening in your 4th/10th house axis can show major changes occurring in your home life/living situation or your career/reputation.

It’s so cliché but I actually personally know so many Aquarius Midheavens who work in tech, or heavily rely on social media for their jobs.

Women with moon square pluto in their natal charts often feel as if other women dislike them for no reason. Alternatively, they may frequently get into power struggles with the women in their lives. However, I’ve seen this aspect in a man’s chart suggest that he has difficulty relating to women. He most likely has a fractured relationship with his mother, and this makes relationships with women very turbulent.

People who have their moon or mercury square Saturn in their charts are prone to adopting pessimistic attitudes. These individuals may find it hard to ‘see the brighter side’ of situations, and they usually become considerably dejected when they face adversity.

Moon trine Mars in a natal chart, makes someone assertive, but in a way that’s well received by others. They know how to state the truth, and go after what they want in a way that other people respect and admire.

Venus conjunct Mars in a chart, often indicates someone who has natural charm & charisma. These people almost always have a secret admirer. Even if they are not considered ‘conventionally attractive’ there is something about their aura that is very magnetic and appealing.

Mercury square Chiron in a chart can manifest as someone who struggles with feelings of anxiety or debilitating rumination & overthinking.

Pay attention to planets that are on an angle in your solar return year. They will likely manifest as key themes in your year. I also recommend comparing your solar return to your natal chart in order to make accurate predictions. For example, let’s say you have a natal Gemini rising. However, your solar return rising sign is in Sagittarius. Relationships and business partnerships are likely to be a key focus in your upcoming year, as Sagittarius falls in your natal 7th house cusp.

Degree theory helps you understand additional ways in which certain planets/aspects manifest in your life. Obviously it doesn’t negate your natal planet signs and their meanings, it just adds extra layers to the expression of that planet. For example, if you have a Libra Sun at 22 degrees, you’re still a Libra sun, but you may also express your sun in a ‘Capricorn-like’ manner. I’ve found that people also may mistake you for the sign that the degree represents. Example, let’s say you’re a Pisces rising at 13 degrees. The 13th degree is an Aries degree, so some people may perceive you as someone who has Aries somewhere in their chart. Be it sun, moon, or rising!

Chart Readings Are Open 🖤

[cypriathus]

Main protagonist of The Smiting Peak

WARNING: I do go into brief detail about their mental health issue.

Nawovuherszi Hilogwena L’Ärmigezodun-Belanogirtus is a 59-year-old government-trained changeling assassin working alongside her three closest friends. She’s quite happy-go-lucky, being cheerfully optimistic about most things and maintaining her positive view on life. She’s surprisingly passionate about her work and goals in life despite the seriousness of her occupation and how cruel reality can be. She clearly understands the various risks and consequences that surround the duties of being a trained assassin. Nawovuherszi is very gentle around those she’s comfortable with, which makes her presence feel amiable and respectful. She’s keenly aware of other people’s emotions, which helps her to understand their situations and make comforting decisions based on insight. She tries to both feel and see things from the perspective of someone she’s interacting with, ensuring that she gets the full picture of what they’re personally going through. She is decently courageous, ensuring that her fears don't interfere with her duties as well as helping her to overcome and manage such things. She can be overbearingly protective in regards to the vulnerable and will do anything to ensure their safety. Her resilient determination helps to motivate her and focus on the duties given to her.

However, her undying determination can lead to her being stubborn, unwilling to change her mind even if it’s for the better. There are instances where she can be somewhat reckless with her actions and a bit clumsy. She can be ruthless, but that’s only when she’s dealing with people she views as despicable or personally dishonourable. She’s fond of causing mischief by planning harmless pranks and playfully doing things that she’s not supposed to. She tends to display her feelings quite openly and is easily aroused by the emotions of others. It’s her major way of showing how she understands the inner workings of emotion, but sometimes it can be a slight distraction when performing her assassination duties. She does have occasional violent urges, especially when she feels naturally threatened and belittled. Nawovuherszi does have sudden mood swings, which means that she’s happy and upbeat for one moment to randomly sad and irritable. She has a ravenous hunger and a violent greediness for food or whatever satisfies her appetite. She also possesses uncanny insight and some intelligence that’s beyond human comprehension. Despite her intelligence, she often pretends that she's amusingly gullible and naive. She shows a few symptoms of PTSD, which are overwhelming guilt and shame, trouble with concentration, nervousness, crying spells, and hypervigilance. She also experiences obsessive-compulsive tendencies that revolve around her safety such as checking the locks on the door of her home and arming her firearms. In regards to her trauma, she’ll become triggered if people touch her backside and mock her for looking like a “freak”. She will also become triggered if she witnesses the mistreatment of animals and supernatural beings.

She’s considerably taller compared to most of her fellow coworkers, almost nearing 6’ 9” (205.74 cm). She has an ectomorphic, rectangle-shaped body and appears to be in her late to mid 30s. She has glistening geyser skin with rose quartz freckles on her face and chest. Her eyes are a magnificent tradewind with a rose bud cherry outer rim, giving them a sunburst effect. She has blue roan Belgian Draught horse ears, brazen claws that are razor-sharp, and a long, forked tongue. Nawovuherszi has three gills on each side of the torso and it’s underneath her ribcage. These gills are usually closed because most of her work is on land, but she instinctively opens them when underwater, allowing her to breathe beneath the water’s surface. She has a long, thick fish tail that resembles a blackfin tuna protruding from her lower back. On her upper back, she used to possess fairly large wings that are similar to a male widow skimmer. Unfortunately, her wings have been ripped off, only leaving scars on where they once were. She has a thick windswept crop cut that has a beautiful gradient from red damask to dark burgundy. Whenever she’s angry or feeling threatened, her hair turns into aurora house snakes with piercing blue-grey eyes. Her secret bodily weakness or physical Achilles’ heel is the vitreous, which is a major part of the eyes.

She wears fabulous tassel earrings with embroidery thread that’s the shade of moss green as well as golden forward helix, purplish rook, and silvery industrial piercings. Nawovuherszi also wears a pristine medallion that hangs from her neck with a coin-shaped piece depicting the ouroboros. She possesses a trench coat that’s the hue of beaver brown and it reaches slightly above her lower leg. Her top of choice is a ribbed knit turtleneck sweater with a boob window and it’s a nice myrtle green. She is also seen wearing navy blue leggings that are perfectly flexible and dark brown darbies. She wields a semi-automatic pistol that comes with a detachable silencer and flash suppressor. She even carries a general-purpose machine gun that appears to be a fusion between the Heckler & Koch HK21A1 and MG 42, but it has a built-in silencer. Her semi-automatic pistol and general-purpose machine gun are called the VK138 Ultrasonic Blithe and Bachelorette Moon-Dancer ZSCH7519 respectively. Nawovuherszi always has her authority badge, government ID, taser, golden wrist watch, and digital camera on her person. There are times where she carries around a suitcase that’s either occupied by her Bachelorette Moon-Dancer ZSCH7519 and its ammunition or specific confidential documents and important photographs, but it depends on the given mission.

Similar to her biological mother, she has the ability to shapeshift into different creatures. She can transform into a hippocampus, a horse, a dragonfly, and a rainbow boa. As a hippocampus, she has the upper body of a blue roan Belgian Draught with the lower body of a massive fish that resembles a blackfin tuna. Her horse form is that of a Belgian Draught with blue roan fur, which is similar to her hippocampus transformation. As a dragonfly, she’s a female widow skimmer, but with the wings of a male. However, due to her wings being ripped off, she is unable to transform into a dragonfly. Whenever Nawovuherszi instinctively activates her Gorgon hair and eyes, she can petrify anyone who stares directly into her eyes or the eyes of the venomous boas. Her blood is extremely acidic on the left, while the right side contains healing properties. She can read the thoughts and emotions of those who are standing 96 metres, which may be a result of her heightened vision. Her vision can capture everything with amazing detail and colour, but cannot see beyond 160 metres. Nawovuherszi even has remote viewing abilities, allowing her to see visual impressions from great distances, unseen subjects, and locations beyond a normal range of perception.

Due to being born with minimal telekinetic abilities, she’s capable of moving and manipulating any solid object that is approximately about 150 pounds. Besides enhanced vision, her sense of hearing and smell has also been heightened significantly. She can lift tens of thousands of pounds and strike with the force of a massive, speeding train. She’s capable of performing strenuous activities and actions for days or even weeks without tiring. Nawovuherszi is unnaturally agile and dexterous, allowing her to effectively dodge projectiles and have better control over her limbs, muscles, and digits. She’s immune to the cold, being able to whole-heartedly resist the direct and indirect effects associated with such a climate/temperature. As a result of possessing psychometry, she can obtain information about the past or future of a person or object by touching them. Besides her abilities, she knows some kickboxing moves and these consist of the jab, cross, lead hook, rear uppercut and bodyshot, roundhouse kick, snap kick, parry, lead roll, and rear slip.

FAMILY:

Unnamed adoptive human parents

Unnamed ichthyocentaur father

Unnamed half-fairy half-Gorgon mother

ALIASES/NICKNAMES:

Nawovuheri (by most of her friends and coworkers)

Nawovu (by most of her friends and coworkers)

Hiloge (by a few friends and coworkers)

Herigwa (by a few friends and coworkers)

Ärmegodun (by a few friends and coworkers)

Belanogius (by most of her friends and coworkers)

Miss L’Ärmigezodun (by a few of her coworkers and Phinazertus)

Madam Belanogirtus (by a few of her coworkers, Phinazertus, and Ljufriche)

Disrupter of Still Waves

Lady of Serpentine Horses and Ripped Wings

changeling Who Frolickes Amongst His Sunbeam

Breath of Watery Quintessence (by Uzelona, Unelodiga, Emnodugha, Enmaglotius, Enmobluga, Anelojzud, and Utabhozer)

Nawuhervo (by Bruchasofziel)

Pcholka (“little bee” in Russian) (by Yoruszlena)

Golubushka (“little pigeon” in Russian) (by Yoruszlena)

Zhizn moya (“my life” in Russian) (by Yoruszlena)

Zvyezdochka moya (“my star” in Russian) (by Yoruszlena)

Moya nezhnaya devochka (“my tender girl” in Russian) (by Yoruszlena)

Inn skygna (“swift-eyed” in Norse) (by Mulenofrida)

Sverrir (“trouble-maker” in Norse) (by Mulenofrida)

Newovuba (by Azruhton)

The Fearsome Petrifier (by Azruhton)

Nahoszu (by Miratholenus)

Mevrouw Nawovuheri (“miss” in Dutch) (by Irmahylke)

Blockflötengesicht (“recorder face” in German) (by Folcevardius)

Unstoppable beast (by Marelozhu)

Fish-tailed mutt (by Napulozrine)

Wovuszera (by Malvorechius)

First Betrayer of His Unwavering Salvation (by many members of The Reunion of Flesh, Breath, and Pus)

FUN FACTS/EXTRA INFORMATION:

She’s libidoist asexual

Her real birthday was January 28th (Aquarius), but her human parents didn't know that due to receiving her on a much later date, so they assumed she was born on February 1st.

Her blood type is AB-

She has a tongue piercing

As an Æylphitus, the different parts of her name have special meanings: Nawovuherszi means “firmament, quintessence, heaven’s energy or vigorous sky”, Hilogwena means “sun-blessed”, L’Äyrmegidonus means “mountain of invasion or accumulated harrowing fortune”, and Belanogirtus means “bear spear”.

She’s 50% ichthyocentaur, 25% fairy, and 25% Gorgon.

Her biological parents gave her to a married, childless human couple due to their unrequited love.

She hatched out an egg that her mother laid

She likes the texture of pickles, pyrotechnics, petrichor, abandoned buildings, cultivated flowers, falling leaves, warm and comfy blankets, picture frames, magazines that focus or contain antique flower vases, and the taste of pumpkin spice and salted caramel.

She dislikes pickle juice, animal cruelty, hunting trophies, thunderstorms, the taste of cinnamon, overfishing, white lies, gossip, judging people based on their appearance, and the smell of decay.

Her hobbies consist of archery, yoga, swimming, kickboxing, calligraphy, embroidery, grilling, growing bonsai, completing crossword puzzles, and collecting books about insects and aquatic life.

Her favourite animals are the pearl crescent, Cyaniris semiargus, eastern pondhawk, scarce chaser, rosy maple moth, rainbow trout, longnose gar, and plains zebra.

Her favourite flowers are the Paphiopedilum gratrixianum, chrysanthemum, wisteria, ox-eye daisy, and lily of the valley.

Her favourite comfort foods are Italian veggie cottage pie, spicy chicken and chickpea curry, butternut squash mac and cheese, buttermilk biscuits, homemade calzones, Brunswick stew, whisky-maple dumplings, and chocolate mousse with salted caramel and mochi.

Her favourite colours are the colour of wisteria blooms and viridian green.

Her biggest pet peeves are bragging, pen clicking, bad grammar, people who are always late, perverts, roommates who don’t clean up, and individuals who write or pronounce her name wrong.

During a lazy day, she’s curled on the couch with a big, fluffy blanket, watching soap operas, and doing a thick crossword puzzle book, while eating homemade mochi. If friends are over, she’ll act all silly, making them laugh at how stupid and corny her jokes are.

She has a pet albino crow named Marvoleni that can bestow golden luck and great wisdom to those who treat it with respect. Marvoleni can summon more crows and cease all fighting by cawing at a group of people in its vicinity.

Despite her deadly skills, Nawovuherszi has a soft spot for stray cats and has fostered over 20 felines in her lifetime.

She has a secret talent for baking and makes a wicked chocolate cake.

She's a skilled contortionist and can fit into spaces smaller than a coffin.

Nawovuherszi has a vast collection of wigs, with over 50 different styles and colors.

She has a usual habit of running late for important meetings

She makes a lot of hand gestures while conversing with other people.

She has even made up words for common household items

Nawovuherszi clicks her tongue a lot

She snores quite loudly at night

She snorts while laughing

She prefers to overeat in private

She’s born with venom glands, but due to a genetic dysfunction, she can’t use them. 

Nawovuherszi’s guilty pleasure is consuming human intestines and livers because it gives her instant gratification and calms her down after a traumatic flashback or nightmare.