#oh and this outfit is great. and if not then at the very least iconic and has her wearing a signature hsm queer hat

[starpay]

Sharpay Evans Stimboard: Outfits Part 6

And if those science girls get Gabriella hooked up with Troy Bolton, the scholastic club goes from drool to cool! Ryan, we need to save our show from people who don't know the difference between a Tony Award... and Tony Hawk.

x x x / x 💗 x / x x x

[luvneymar]

(1) LOVE TO HATE ME — NEYMAR JR

— SUMMARY: You & Neymar both were booked for a suggestive underwear photoshoot, the only problem? You both hate each others guts.

PARINGS: young!neymar x female!reader & young!lucas paqueta x female!reader

NOTE: any examples doesn’t not represent the race, body type or skin-tone of the female lead.

— “Yes! Just like that! A bit more slutty and you’ll be perfect!” The casting director yelled at you from the background of your Calvin Klein campaign, You laughed hearing the last part as you posed on the set strutting your body in different ways.

In the recent years of you becoming a rising star in both the athletic world & the modelling world you’ve been booked & busy with these kinds of activities & activities. The one thing that sold the most was your partner shoots with another male athletes or actors.

The first time it happens it was by total accident when the director doubled booked 2 models at the same time but seeing how much money it brought in for you & the companies, you had to basically expect for some handsome famous guy to come & sweep you off your feet.

As you were posing the casting director stopped the photographer as he walked onto the set to whisper something into your ear,“Darling you know how much I love your smile but, we don’t need it here. Look fierce! Look alive! Look sexy!”

He begun to adjust your facial expression by pulling your bottom lip out just a bit to create a naughty but nice type of pout along with curling your eyelashes a bit more to make them look “doe-y” at one angle then “siren-y” the next.

Once he backed away and resumed the shoot you took his advice & begun to pose is much more suggestive ways; ways that your mother would’ve smacked you for if she saw the magazine you’d be front & center in.

“Lovely! That’s what I’m looking for!” He yelled out waving his hands around in an attempt to hype you up.

Soon the flashes stopped as he turned to the photographer looking at the photos he took to approve them, he sent an approval nod his way signalling the standby staff to clear the set & hand you a robe.

As you walked off the casting director engulfed you into a hug patting the back of your head, “You did great today, your next set is in your change-room. As you know that’ll be your collaborative project. Get excited”

You both exchanged cheek kisses before your waddled to change-room feeling exposed & quite cold actually. As you opened the door you immediately searched for the clothes you were going to wear.

Except you only found a pair of pants & the iconic Calvin Klein underwear, not a shirt in sight. You begun to look around trying to see if your shirt was misplaced. Or at-least a bra; you never signed up for a topless shoot.

“My set missing a—!” As you walked out of the change-room holding the “outfit” you were supposed to wear you locked eyes with non other than— Neymar Junior. Neymar fucking Junior.

The Neymar Junior who broke your nose in Secondary School, The Neymar who cut your hair in middle school, The Neymar Junior Santos who tripped you in the halls. That Neymar Junior.

“He’s the super hot athlete? Oh, just kill me now.” You yelled out throwing your arms in the air as you spun your heels speed walking towards your change room grabbing your manager by the arm digging your nails into his arm.

As you slammed the door you shoved him into the couch throwing the clothes on the table as you flopped down beside him, “Seriously? Seriously! You hyped this up so much I thought I was gonna do a shoot with the Stephen Curry.”

“Just listen—” He tried to explain, you slammed your finger onto his mouth signalling him not talk as you shook your head side to side very slowly with an evil scowl on your face.

“I’m having a moment here! I specially said anyone but him! Did you know he broke my—!” You explained flailing your arms in the air as you fell over on the couch resting your head on the armrest.

“Yes I know you’ve told the story a million times and more, to be fair you weren’t all the kind to him either.” He cut you off as he stood up from the couch, “I tried to reason with them but you both are very popular on the internet. You even have fanclub—”

“Ew! Don’t even mention that to me. I’ll just suck it up & hold my breath till I die on set & blame him for 1st degree murder.” You grumbled swinging your legs off the couch as you sat back up staring right at the wall blankly.

“Your loss. I personally think he’s kinda cute—!”

“Get out!” You shrieked throwing your pillow at him as he rushed out of the room laughing at your reaction. You got up & begun pacing around the room chewing on your thumb nail as you pondered about how you could even do this.

You weren’t even worried about Neymar as much as you were worried about your long-term boyfriend Lucas Paqueta seeing this. You half naked pressed against another man; his best friend according to the concept photos you were given.

“I’ll just explain it to him later. He knows how much I hate him anyways!” You took a deep breath shaking off any negative thoughts you had lingering in your mind as you begun to get dressed.

It didn’t take long since all you had to put on was a pair of underwear, jeans, & a pair of nipple covers. Thankfully they ate last provided you with that seeing as how you felt as if you were about to film a porno.

You walked towards the mirror hands held on your breasts as you looked up and down at your attire embarrassed look melted onto your face. “Neymar Junior is going to see my boobs.” You muttered out, in disbelief.

“Neymar Junior is going to see, my boobs! As you took in the fact you begun to laugh uncontrollably at the irony of the situation, your arch enemy since your birth is going to be touching your boobs; a place only a select few were even allowed to see.

You wiped the small tears forming at the corner of your eyes due to excess laughter as you pulled out of your phone from your pocket feeling it vibrate from a text that read.“We’re ready for you.”

You sighed saying a small prayer before walking out of the change-room hands covering your chest, as the shoes you were wearing made noise the casting director along with Neymar turned their heads to look at you. “Woman of the hour!”

“Yeah.” You nervously chuckled as you slowly made your way to the edge of the set, despite taking literal baby steps you made it there in a shorter time than you’d like, as you stood there staring straight ahead right past Neymar’s eyes that didn’t leave your body.

“Did you look at the concept photos?” The casting director asked you as you completely zoned out all the background noises, your heart begun to pound as you took in that this was really happening.

“Yeah I did.” You muttered out as you turned your head slowly towards the director awkward smile on your face as you felt Neymar’s gaze being branded onto your skin.

“Well we’re scrapping that one, this is what the first pose will be.” The casting director handed you a photo face down already making you suspicious, when you flipped the photo your eyes nearly flew out of your sockets.

“What the fuck is this!” You whispered shouted in disbelief as to what you were seeing, not only were you going to be literally topless, Neymar’s head was going to be resting: on your breasts.

You hadn’t even noticed that his hands were going to be resting on your ass. “We are not filming a porno! You’ve gotta change this now.”

“This is what is going to sell. It sold back then it’ll sell now. Come one darling, just this once. For me.” He pleaded with you grabbing you by your shoulders.

“No! Not unless you pay me millions! Even if you can You’re gonna owe me. Big time. largely.” Hearing that the director smiled at you before ushering you onto the set where you stood awkwardly beside Neymar who had a stupid smirk on his face. “Alright places everyone.”

Once you heard that you grit your teeth and furrowed your eyebrows as you eased onto the floor of the set, you hesitated before crawling into Neymar’s lap hands hovering just centimetres away from his waist with him doing the same cringing away from your body.

Just before the photographer begun to take photos the director begun to yell once again,“Ugh no no no! Hands on her waist, hands on his waist, look seductive, look like you want to fuck each other!”

You grew goosebumps just hearing that as you muttered under your breath “ew”, you rolled yo ur eyes looking away from Neymar’s annoyed gaze, “This is an underwear company! you’re advertising underwear! hands off your sides and pose!”

“Don’t think I’m enjoying touching your repulsive body, I’m doing this because I have too.” He muttered under his breath emphasizing the “repulsive” making your skin crawl.

“Your breath stinks.” You replied pinching him in his side as hard as you could, seeing him wince in pain gave you a weird boost of satisfaction, as you both bickered with the occasional pinch coming his way you both tuned our the director till he yelled.

“I’m not paying you both millions to look like constipated scorpions! Positions! Now!” He yelled out using the paper in his hand to fan his forehead which was sweating quite heavily, hearing him be so angry out of nowhere frightened you enough to relax just enough to look natural.

Once you both had relaxed easing into each other the rest of the set had gone smoothly with minimal arguing from both of your sides; especially your side since you were quite literally topless. “Wonderful Job guys! Your cheque’s will be emailed to you shortly.”

Once the set was clearing out you stood there waiting for your robe to be handed to you as you shivered, the studio was a lot colder than you had realized. As you were standing around you noticed Neymar hadn’t left quite yet & he was looking a bit red.

“Ew, Are you blushing? I know I have great boobs, but no need to get embarrassed y’know? I’m sure your girlfriend—”

“My God, Will you just shut up?” Neymar shouted at you as he begun to scratch his skin, little blotches of red begun to show on his skin— not that you’d notice them of course.

“Shut up? Did you just tell me to shut up? Do you want me to rip your jaw off? Or did you forget who you were talking too? You turned your body to face him as you looked him up & down with disgust & annoyance in your eyes.

As you were cussing him out you didn’t even notice he hadn’t given you a snarky response back or just pushed pasted you like he always did confusing you, as you took a closer look at him you noticed he was developing a skin rash; hives.

“What the fuck? What type of rash are you developing?” You asked as you backed away wrapping your robe around your body tightly, watching him scratch his body frantically grossed you out enough to just leave the set & go back to your change-room.

Just before you were able to set foot into your room you heard a loud boom, along with a shriek alarming you greatly. As you rushed towards the noise you were met with Neymar breathing heavily on the floor with his assistant all over him trying to find out what was wrong.

A crowd gathered around him as some people were calling the ambulance while others were helping in anyway they could, as you stood there looking at him try to take in a breath you spun your heels turning back to your room.

“What the absolute fuck is going on?” You muttered out backing away from the crowd as you slipped back into your change-room slamming the door before locking it, you slid down the door trying to figure out why that was happening.

As you wondered it had finally hit you, recently you were gifted a body-care set that was based upon real strawberries giving you a long lasting strawberry scent all day— the only problem? Neymar was severely allergic to them.

TAGLIST: @watersquirtpewpewboomm @neymaruposts @aniya7 @foolsarehome @abluvions 💕 (send a reply to be added to the taglist!)

ON HOLD

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[littlefankingdom]

I watched the One Piece live action and here are some notes I took.

I'm a huge One Piece fan since I was like 10-ish? And so, I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about it. It had a lot of impact on my personality (Nico Robin is my role model). This live action adaptation matters to me and I'm going to rant. Spoilers ahead.

The director is a woman, and one of the two writers is a woman. Manga and anime are male dominated hobby (and the comic's world is sexist), so the live action of the most popular shōnen being run by women is so great, imo. Also, it's pretty successful, in contrary to other attempts, so it's a win for women.

Garp's actor is a very handsome man. Wtf, they made Garp hot. He also has a beautiful Welsh accent, which is great because it's an accent that gives a "tough guy" impression. At least, it does for me.

Luffy's actor is perfect. This Luffy is slightly different from the original one, but he's perfect in his own way. I will die and kill for him. Also, him being brown with a white grandpa is so good, it had a racial gap between the two of them, where there are already a generational one and a moral one. Like, the white grandpa in the army do not understand how his brown grandson do not like the gov, because he doesn't see it from where he is when the kid does.

Alvida's actress is so beautiful, she's so pretty. I suddenly support women's wrongs.

Damn, the violence is going up a notch (Roger executed on screen, Mr 7's body cut in half, MERRY IS FUCKING KILLED,...)

The actors for Koby and Helmeppo are queer (They/Them pals) Oda is, once again, showing his support to the trans community.

I do not like the colors. It's too dark for One Piece, imo. Look at how saturated the colored pages are, I would have preferred it to be more saturated. I know, this is because of the CGI (issues are less perceptible this way), I'm going to need to make some edits. But, they didn't have to do it to the costumes too. Like, Buggy, except from his hat, his outfit is not flashy like it should be. Would help with the colored hair if it was more colorful and flashy.

Young Luffy wear the same shirt as in the manga is a nice touch.

THERE'S A CAVENDISH'S WANTED POSTER IN SHELLS TOWN!

Dead bodies smell strongly, and Zoro is bringing half of one in a bar???

Episode 2 is pure art. I love it so much.

Buggy is attractive, wtf. I find him more pretty than Shanks.

Bogard is so cool looking. I'm gonna die if Hina is introduced one day (she's going to be so cool)

They changed the "If you’re gonna point your gun toward someone, you better use it" scene. The new one is cool, but the original is iconic.

THE MUSIC WHEN LUFFY REALIZES THAT SHANKS LOST HIS ARM! It's like the orchestra is interrupted, incredible, love it.

Nami and Zoro's siblings' energy is so strong.

Kaya and Nami interraction about the dress "it belonged to my mother" is so good, Nami gets uncomfortable because she also lost her mother and knows how it is to cherish her memory. But Kaya is nice and share it with her, which break her view of rich folks.

The decor's department must have had the time of their life for this show. It's a great job.

Zoro wanting to wear black and drink wine in the 3 episode, he's already embodying being Mihawk's adopted brat.

Kaya makes the oof roblox sounds when she slapped Usopp.

Usopp x Kaya let's gooooooooooo my boy deserves the best (Oda confirming a romance with one of his protagonists is huge)

Zoro IMMEDIATELY trying to look at something else the moment Kaya kisses Usopp.

Luffy sitting on Going Merry with "We Are" playing... Art.

Without a cook, they are eating pasta, with some fruit and drink (just like me, fr).

Garp is wrecking a brand new ship!

Episode 5 Title Card, my beloved.

Mihawk music, and voice, and character: beautiful.

"Oh, I do like your hat." Mihawk to Luffy upon meeting him, great.

Sanji needs to stop talking about food, I'm getting hungry but I'm broke and a terrible cook.

"Oregano is for savages!" 😂 ok kiddo.

Me watching Zoro nap for a whole episode because of 1 cut: "Bro, you’re going to go through so much worse, you better stop whining rn"

The "YES, YES WE DO" after Sanji says "heard you guys need a cook" is so good.

Sanji is, like, the only one after Nami to have the most experience sailing, they fucking need him.

Buggy coming back all the time is perfect. Love him.

Having Bell-Mere slaps Nami was not ok. Y'all are ruining a character I loved.

Sanji knows a man that can cook well is attractive.

Usopp and Luffy are 17 and drinking, and Koby is 16. Underage drinking baby 🍻

Garp is already having the crisis he has during Marine Fort Arc, it’s going to be difficult for him.

Buggy be swinging being carried by Sanji, who's fighting.

Luffy breaking Arlong's sword axe thingy is badass.

The fishmen are so ugly and weird looking

Buggy saying "I'm gonna get out of here" with 🖕🤡🖕(If we ever get young Ace, I expect so much vulgarity from his little shit mouth)

Usopp exploding star was badass.

Sanji's ass after Mouton Shot.

Zoro "Yeah, you're gonna fit in just fine" means you're as crazy as all of us

Sanji opening is arms for Nami and Nami ignoring him to hug her bros, lol.

Arlong Park destruction be crazy.

Sanji little laugh.

Luffy is a true bestie to Usopp.

It’s the confrontation from after Seven Arc

It's Logue town after right? Like, where Luffy's father is introduced? With the comparison to Roger? But they just compared them, are they going to do it again?

The wanted poster is the exact same, with usopp in the background.

Employee of the month lol.

Alvida and Buggy meeting, the bad bitches.

Mihawk and Shanks!!! (Shanks gave him the "ableist pos" look, lol)

Smoker introduced -> Logue Town

[s-i-n-i-s-i-n]

Carmen Sandiego

Outfit Ranking Season 2!!!

Here is a link to part 1

We will not rank the outfits that were already ranked in Season 1 and that also appear in Season 2. We will just look at them again because why not? Lets get them out of the way.

Dive suit Rate: Awesome

Mumbai outfit Rate: Sexy

Jammies Rate: Comfy

Red Hoodie Rate: Cool

Red Coat Rate: Hot!

Now that we have seen the already seen awesomeness. Let's get into it.

Number 7: Hospital gown!

...does it count?

I mean, quite unfortunate to be in a hospital. But at least they let her keep her makeup? Cmmon! Those lips are way too red to not be make up. The nurses were like: She's frozen but that doesn't mean she can't be glamorous.

Number 6: Training outfit.

Always protect the face. She will break yours while looking awesome.

Did you notice that triangles are a common thing on her clothes? Should we make a conspiracy theory about it?

Number 5: Russian outfit

A spectre is haunting Europe — the spectre of communism the Red Ghost! привет Comrade Carmen!

She looks fashionably warm!

Number 4: Model dress.

She looks great. Boob window and all. The slit on the skirt. But even more that that: She can fight in heels.

And throw them too. I see she has a thing for throwing shoes.

She looks nice! But if you ask me I prefer the Auction dress from season 1.

Ok now. The three first places!!! But before that, you know it: Three honorable mentions!

Honorable mention #1

The cutest baby ever. My goodness!

She was the best toddler pick pocketer. Probably the only one.

Honorable mention #2

Fashion's latest scream! A very elegant coat made out of... the remains of a glider. Kudos to Carmen for making the best out of an awful situation.

To this day I hate Chief for this. Hate her deeply. Carmen might forgive her but I do not.

Honorable mention #3

Carmen's dream hats. They are imported. They are here because that hat is so iconic it made its way into the subconscious world.

Third Place: Safari outfit.

Oh my glob. Can she look cuter than this? I know it doesn't appreciate here but she is wearing a red belt. Can not be a Carmen outfit without red. Nice very nice outfit. She looks super cool.

And my goodness, those legs!

Second place: Dubai Dress.

This one was difficult for me. I almost gave it the first place, because she looks so damn elegant and sexy! She has a cape, A CAPE! She looks like a woman that anyone would obey at the snap of her fingers.

And a hairdo! And the earrings! Little splashes of red.

Stunning! simply stunning.

First Place: Moto GP

I am biased. I love motorcycles. And I love Carmen. And Carmen in a motorcycle? What else could I ask for?

I may be cheating here because I´m counting the bike as part of the outfit. She looks super hot on a Ducati, sue me.

Look at her going! Vrroooom!!!

So fast. So skilled. So sexy. AAAAaaaahhh! Look at the technique! The counterbalance! She might not now how to drive a car but she surely knows how to ride.

Rock and Ride!

I made so many gifs and I am not sorry. Brrrrhaaaababababammmm! Rrrrev it girl!

Akira style! So good so good. Hoo baby, that's hot!

I'm just curious about where in VILE island could have she learned how to ride a bike. I'm not complaining though.

That's it folks. See you at Season 3 outfit ranking!

[starsnsparkles]

okay i’ve calmed down a little from the massive shitstorm that happened when the winx reboot teaser originally dropped, so now i want to completely and utterly rip into this generic, over-detailed monstrosity of a design that they decided to go with...

... starting with bloom!

oh my sweet, sweet baby, what have they done to you… first off, say goodbye to her iconic bangs, now we have… anime bangs? the braids would look great if her hair was let down & made to be wild, but no, we had to slap on her the mew mew new zakuro’s ponytail which makes them both look out of place and cartoonish with how out of place & massive it looks on them… the outfit raises SO many questions. like, huh? what *is* that crop top doing? like why does it have 1 shoulder pad? why does she have the flame arm decoration on only one arm? the other looks so bare in contrast. what IS that skirt? like, what are those ruffles? they look so random and out of place, her whole outfit is making me go ??? they’re, AGAIN, trying to shove her in pink :^) those boots are whatever, and the wings are overly-detailed, but fine. all of their wings are doing too much ngl, especially if this is the first transformation, but hers is one of the better ones

now onto stella!

the worst case of babyface i’ve seen in the reboot, and that headband with stars ain’t making it better. it makes her look like a middle schooler SOB the top is doing too much for a base transformation, like bloom’s, but at least hers kind of resembles sun rays so it’s… passable? i still want it gone & redesigned tho. the wings, again, doing too much, i like the sun imagery. now i’ve heard people discussing that stella will stay “faily of the shining sun” rather than “fairy of sun & moon” and if that’s true… then i fear it truly is over lads.... i’ll save my moon stella spiel because i’ve already written a post about it, but the “moon” part of stella could play such a huge role in her character and it’s NEVER been used to its full extent and i die inside every time i remember that :^) and if the reboot doesn’t even try? i’ll go fuck myself then uwu

now for flora...

the best out of the batch. nothing really more to say. you can’t really go and make a bad flora transformation technically, just slap her in pink & green, with pretty flowers and voila, there’s flora. girly concepts work on a girly girl what a surprise! the petal skirt is very nice, i will say, although we’ll see later on how horrible it translated to 3d animation :^) her wings suffer the same as the rest, but they’re more toned down so they’re better, her hair is also doing a bit too much, i think the braid with flowers is great, but get rid of those two flower odangos and she’s pretty solid.

musa time!

*insert here a long-winded rant about her face looking generic af when previously we had a very good model shown in the magazine for her monolid look that potrayed her asian heritage more* but of course, we can’t have nice things, so here ya go, a downgrade :) anyway back to the design. so basically, musa’s design pays omage the most to her og magic winx design, so it looks pretty okay. i wish she had headphones, but i like the braids. now i did say the dress pays omage to her og design, but the added details on it to ‘make it look updated” are pretty nonsensical as well. it’s the bloom thing all over again. what is that small gap that’s covered with transparent material? we shall never know. it’s there to be there. 0 purpose. remove that and the design is so much better. what irks me about her wings is that they’re the wrong colours so they don’t even look like they belong to musa. like all others, they’re doing too much, but out of the bunch, hers are the worst. shape is meh, but the colours ruin them.

and now, the girl that suffered the most… my sweet, sweet tecna...

to all tecna truthers, it is a sad day indeed. tecna went from the most unique and wel-thought out magic winx design to… this. just one of many. literally nothing about her costume is revolutionary. nothing looks good. nothing says fairy of technology, save that thing in her hair. that’s literally it. i just don’t even have the words to describe how bland this is, which is horrible to say, because this is tecna! hey! fairy of technology! a fairy that literally connects the two worlds of a fairy, a being that is supposed to be this untamed magical concept connected with the nature & the world, with technology, the futuristic & more grounded concept that explores probabilites in a totally opposite side than magic. like, SHE IS REVOLUTIONARY but nah. here is a generic purple fairy. i want to PERISH.

and last but not least, aisha!

aisha & stella look like babies it’s not even funny actually. now why is she BLUE. aisha had a great thing going for her in the og where her outfit was green & her powers were pink, which contrasted well, and she was still a water / fluid fairy, so she really stood out from the rest of her archtype. and now. she’s BLUE. we already have bloom. we don’t have a green fairy. is this the part where they try to leave a spot open for roxy? yeah we love roxy, but aisha deserves to keep her og colour more than her, you know, THE aisha, who is objectively a bigger part of the winx brand than roxy. her dress is again, doing too much while not really making sense. it looks sloppy and overly-detailed with little reason to be so. flora & aisha are set apart from the rest solely bc their midriffs are covered & that’s about it. her wings are also too similar to bloom’s. my god why are they trying to bloom-ify her i don’t know.... the beads look nice tho, but they don’t feel like aisha. aisha is this cool, admirable, hero character that loves sports & adventure, and i’m getting “mum we have sports day tomorrow” vibes here. misery… and apparently she’s still “fairy of waves” so if they get rid of morphix, which was masterful addition to the power scale, i’d be ACTUAL MISERY

as for animations & civilian looks...

people say they’re eating and i just wanna know WHERE. i like the casual outfits more than the transformations by a mile, and that’s not saying much. musa & tecna’s outfits looked better in the magazine feature/leaks, musa especially suffered. stella’s hair fuses with her outfit constantly. and even if it were good, the animation downgrades everything though. it looks like it came from disney junior, ffs, it looks just a tiny bit better than miraculous ladybug and i can’t take that show seriously because of how bad the animation is. it’s giving fucking, rooster teeth studios with 6 employees and a 6 month deadline. it looks atrocious, i can’t even describe it SOB

closing thoughts - this literally looks like winx for toddlers. i’m sorry, so much hype for “we wanna age up our target audience after nick ruined it” and then we get this. dollar store animation, fumbled transformations, missed opportunities. i was beyond excited and probably coping back when the animation test aired. now i’m fully in IT’S SO OVER downslide. you hate to see it! :)

p.s people are saying these forms might actually be enchantix. baby if this is enchantix? we’re even MORE COOKED

[rosetheocto]

My Rants and Reviews on the Failtopia S2 Finale Outfits!

this post was inspired by the one made by @cosmo-production so please check out their post too! my review is under the cut

Major Failtopia Season 2 spoilers ahead!

Mar

yeah it’s the basic one, but i think that fits him! If I had to pick another outfit it would be the Pro one, but I genuinely can’t see him in anything else other than the boring chef outfit. I feel like if he wanted to change it he def could (I mean look at his imp outfit) but the basic chef outfit is very solid for him! If it ain’t broke don’t fix it! 7/10

Orion

I know the outfit is very clashing and has a bunch of colors, but in Dan’s defense: Orion’s makeup already has a bunch of colors, and when you look into it the colors the outfit has actually matches with the makeup a bit! and also, I kinda wish Dan didn’t have the makeup be as out there for the sake of those drawing fanart, but at the same time this is Daniel Failboat. Insane designs are expected. That being said though, I can’t change the clothes or makeup even if you forced me to. the context for it is just so freakin cute!! we all love great fathers in this household. He makes me wish I had a meaningful relationship with my dad. 6/10

Friend

I like it! I have a few minor gripes though. This may be a bit of a hot take, but I don’t like Zone (the hat) or Ship (the staff). Not in the Finale at least. I think Friend should’ve removed them both to show that they’ve moved on and don’t need something like Lee anymore. Symbolism and character arcs and all that other fancy stuff idk. Also I like that she looks more like a priest than a Cleric, it makes sense! He’s really religious in-universe and their war cry is literally “die, sinner :)”, so I don’t have any problems with that! As much as I like her in purple, he looks oddly good in a black and white outfit too! 8/10

Shrimp

listen guys I’m sorry but her outfit kinda sucks.. the bright pink hearts don’t really give off the same vibes as her first outfit did.. I get where Dan was coming from with it but I just personally don’t like the design :((

I think that he should’ve went with the emo goth outfit for her instead, especially since it fit her more and the fandom latched onto it like a moth to a light, but that’s just me. it gets a free half point for matching up with Bill though, 3.5/10

Erica

look I love it but the actual armor part is so overdesigned. I hate drawing that thing. that’s my only problem though the rest of her outfit is cool as hell!! Let’s go lesbians. 8/10

(and this doesn’t really count for anything, but don’t like her weapon, again I get the idea Dan, but she realistically would NOT use the giant arm 😭)

Chi

This kind of outfit fits her so well omfg. The stupid bowtie? The short sleeves and general lack of lab safety?? The triangle patterns??? It all just screams “Chi” to me! Thank you Miitopia for creating this outfit. Flawless. 10/10

(also another weapon mention, her using the ketchup bottle in the finale?? as someone who is obsessed with S1 of this series, Daniel, ty sm for including that.)

C!Failboat

the catsuit is very boring, but it is also very iconic. I like it. I’d give it a solid 7/10. But I don’t wanna talk about that one. I wanna talk about his outfit when using the Power of the Scythe.

oh my lord. this outfit. this is not me dunking on Daniel or Wafferscotch at all, I genuinely love their art and content!! but like. you’re telling me this man saved the universe in tracksuit sweatpants and an open button up shirt WITH HIS OWN MERCH ON??? He killed god in the Bee Movie shoes?? The Piss Adidas??? It just. doesn’t really fit the Miitopia vibes to me, and I think this could’ve been better as an outfit for ACNH. It could’ve looked much worse, but still. I think it’s a 3/10

Bo

perfect. love the callback to Rose (and I mean, they’re very similar characters, so it makes sense!) She also looks cool af in a suit. her new look can be strange at first but you 100% get used to it with time. And her multiclass was just chefs kiss. Absolute goddess, let’s go lesbians. 10/10

Chat

very good. very iconic. so glad this series came out before the Kirby Era cuz i think the lips would’ve ruined it. 10/10

Big Bill

It looks really comfortable!! I want this robe irl, I like the patterns! I surprisingly really like the pink for Bill! It stands out compared the rest of his appearance and I think that’s really cool!! the dark blue also fits him really well!! Half point bonus for matching with Shrimp. 9.5/10

Void

GOD TIER!! PEAK DESIGN!!! We all love Void in this household. 20/10

[rscroogedraws]

Our Beloved Docktor Frogg Part I

Note: The last time I tried to write a L.O.S.E. fanfic was 2013. So, I'm pretty rusty.

In a nutshell: Docktor Frogg is starting to wonder if the grass is greener somewhere else. Maybe he'd feel more satisfied with his career and life overall if he was a mad scientist under an actual supervillain instead of Voltar the Saturday morning cartoon villain flop?

This is also me introducing my fan character Firecracker to what may, potentially, be a new series of L.O.S.E. fics after this one. I also plan on including Professor Venomous from O.K. K.O.! as a minor recurring character in this particular fic.

Without further ado:

“Oh, Docktor Frogg! You got some mail!” Red Menace chirped as he passed over a surprisingly fancy gold embossed envelope.

Frogg nodded and took the parcel. He was relieved Voltar was out doing who-knows-what since the little gremlin would insist on getting first look at the mail just because of how shiny it was. He muttered a few choice words under his breath as he carefully opened said envelope, imagining Voltar scoffing, rolling his eyes, and whining that he never got anything good.

Honestly, Frogg was expecting spam about a credit card for the ‘elite’ supervillain or glossy, unbelievable photos of equipment he’d never be able to afford (or steal) in a million years. Instead, it was a wedding invite. And as soon as he saw the name and picture attached, his heart dropped a little.

There was the beaming and lovestruck face of Professor Venomous holding hands with a shorter man that had teal, swooped hair on one side of his head and one red cybernetic eye. The mystery beau looked great in a powder blue tuxedo, his smile almost hidden behind a big matching tie and a sea of ruffles. Frogg glanced at the letterhead again: “….formally invited to the wedding of Professor Venomous and Lord Boxman.”

Frogg sniffed and closed the letter. Years ago, he found Professor Venomous on a mad scientist forum. His specialization was crafting bio-mass attachments and creating artificial life. He was Frogg’s dream lab partner; a scientist whose demented imagination matched his talent, zeal, and determination to create bigger, worse, and deadlier things. A few of Frogg’s better organic monsters over the years, the ones that lived longer than five minutes, owed their existence to Venomous’ equations and thorough notes.

When Venomous first shared pictures of what he looked like, it awoke something in Docktor Frogg. The man was as gorgeous as he was brilliant. He had a purple complexion that he carefully matched with turtlenecks in the same color family. His dark hair was glossy and combed back into a flattering wing shape. And he wore eyeliner.

Venomous had a touch of Goth aesthetic and Frogg’s heart always skipped a beat around Goth girls with tastefully put-together black outfits and make-up that made her look like the Grim Reaper’s next willing target. That applied to Goth guys too. It also better explained what Frogg previously chocked up as just “admiration” for the icon Rock Gothington.

It hit Frogg like an unpleasant satellite from the heavens above: He’d been crushing on his long-time online friend Professor Venomous. He’d held onto a slim hope, the slimmest most gossamer thread of hope, that Venomous might reach out one day, ask to be partners, and sweep him away from his dreaded day-to-day as a minion for a Saturday morning cartoon flop. Someone else beat Frogg to the goal he hadn’t realized he had.

Boxman. Frogg blew out a breath. Lord Boxman.

If Venomous had fallen for him, he probably had some blueprints or research worth raiding. At the very least, Frogg might find a devious new idea for a pet project and maybe even a new villain penpal. It’d help buffer his ennui if he had just one more person to talk to that knew what real evil was instead of continuing to insist that playing Ding Dong Ditch on their neighbor Steve was the height of villainy.

“What’d you get, Docktor Frogg?” Red Menace asked with a friendly grin.

“Junk mail.” Frogg deliberately looked away from Red’s face as he tucked the invitation into the inner pocket of his lab coat. “Just junk.”

“Why did you discretely put it away in your coat then?” Red raised an accusatory finger and eyebrow. “That’s the pocket you put important documents in.”

Suddenly the door burst open and Voltar puttered in, tapping his fingers and chuckling sinisterly. Even his antennae curled slightly backwards.

“Men! I’ve found a fantastic new way to annoy the neighborhood!” Voltar made a few showman gestures before sticking his hands behind his back.

Red leaned in curiously. For a moment, Frogg was actually grateful for Voltar’s interruption. As Voltar was pulling out his monumental find, Red shot Frogg a knowing glance and raised his brows. Of course he wasn’t just going to let Frogg off the hook.

Frogg swallowed heavily as Voltar raised a fistful of colorful kazoos.

“I’ve found a treasure trove of horribly played songs on NikNak!” Voltar carried on with a gleeful laugh. “And the fools shared their sheet music! For free! We’re going to learn how to play these songs. The worse. The better. Feel free to ad lib. And we’re going to knock on all our neighbors’ doors. And give them a kazoo concert that will make them groan in sheer agony!”

“I think you’re mistaking recorders for kazoos….” Red interjected.

“I got these from the dollar store for 25 cents. I’m not made of money, Red.”

“Wouldn’t recorders be more irritating?” Frogg said, frowning. “I’ve been to some pretty bad recorder recitals, Voltar. That’s the stuff of nightmares for some parents…”

“And grandparents!” Red added.

“Hmmm…..” Voltar idly scratched his chin and shook the kazoos mashed between his fingers. “I really want to do a bad kazoo concert today.”

With that, Voltar shoved the kazoos at Frogg and Red. Red excitedly started tooting on his while Frogg rolled his eyes and held up the pathetic plastic instrument between his claws.

As if Red’s tweeting and buzzing wasn’t bad enough by itself, Voltar joined in. In his case, he was pitifully trying to play two kazoos at once. Red sounded at least close to competent while Voltar was wheezing and blowing raspberries barely a minute later.

Is this really the rest of my life….? Frogg raised his kazoo and half-heartedly blew into it.

“Let’s gooooo!” Voltar cheered, pointing and marching back towards the door.

Frogg slumped forward and followed the peppy, jaunty strut of his comrades with significantly more somber energy. Maybe today he’d finally discover a Skullosus recruitment poster that didn’t have all the little “take a number” strips pulled off.

Instead of the neighbors, Voltar decided to drag L.O.S.E. to the park instead. Because he was hungry. And there was a specific hot dog cart there that had quality brats-not the cheap meat tubes everywhere else had-and a certain brand of spicy mustard that you just couldn’t find anywhere else in town.

While Voltar beelined for the cart, Red Menace noticed Mrs. Johnson parked on a bench and feeding pigeons. He casually strolled over with a certain grin on his face that better fit a superhero sidekick than a burly evil henchman. The elderly woman immediately perked up when she saw him. She fished out a couple pieces of the awful candy every old person ubiquitously carried on their person and offered Red the ones with the strawberry-themed wrappers. Of course, he gasped with sheer delight and popped one in his mouth.

Docktor Frogg rolled his eyes and looked down at the kazoo pathetically dangling from his claws. He raised it to his lips and started tooting a tuneless ditty. Only he could hear it. Otherwise, he was overpowered by bird chatter and laughing children.

Oh, look. Glory Guy’s superpowered spawn recently learned how to fly. The child was cackling as he flew around in a few dizzy circles, a little gray hare hanging onto his ankle for dear life. Glory Guy’s concerned cries followed a minute later.

Frogg chuckled sinisterly. Maybe in the next ten years Glory Jr. would be a delinquent on the quick path towards a supervillain that could easily rival the likes of Skullosus or greater instead of yet another boring and cookie-cutter boy scout like his old man.

“….you’re absolutely sure?” Speaking of Skullosus, the skull in a jar was sitting across a picnic table from a character Frogg hadn’t seen before. She certainly wasn’t dressed like one of his typical minions and she wasn’t Skullosus’ gender-bent galaxy-conquering girlfriend either.

“Yeah,” she said with a firm nod. “I appreciate the opportunity, but it’s just not what I’m looking for.”

The mystery woman was barely a foot taller than Voltar from Frogg’s rough mental height estimate. She had short gray hair slicked back into sharp quill-like shapes at the base of her neck and cat-like yellow irises. Colored contact lenses maybe? She was dressed in a dark double-breasted suit and silver tie matched with black and white shoes Frogg had only seen in 1940’s movies. Based on her outfit alone, Frogg guessed she was probably a franchise rep for one of the big-name suppliers Skullosus had access to as an A-list villain.

Despite himself, Frogg cast a venomous glare in Voltar’s direction. His boss was happily chomping down on his stupid bratwurst. With a snarl and a few curses, Frogg turned his attention back to Skullosus. Maybe Voltar would be extra slow today and indulge what he liked to call his “foodie” sensibilities. Yes, Voltar, the man whose usual diet consisted of a big bucket of fried fast food chicken or cheap microwave pizza, was a fount of knowledge on fine dining.

At the very least, Frogg wanted to find out who Skullosus’ mystery supplier was. It’d be another brand name to add to his ever-growing list of mad scientist’s equipment he idly daydreamed about.

“I could really use a decent mad scientist right now.” Skullosus tapped the table top. “Do you like foosball? We just had a foosball table installed in the lounge!”

Frogg’s goggles bugged while the woman in the suit rolled her eyes.

“I’m not a mad scientist. I told you I’m more of a publicist. Or spin doctor for a more accurate description. My mad science is ad hoc at best.” She made a “so-so” gesture. “And I don’t like foosball.”

“But it’s so fun to make the little men kick the ball! It’s like….” Skullosus gestured vaguely. “And then the other guy goes-” He gestured vaguely again. “So fun.”

“Have you actually played it?” She folded her arms.

“My son likes it.” Skullosus shrugged. “I also just got orange soda in the employee vending machines!”

“Hire an actual mad scientist. Call me when you need a brochure for the people on your first conquered planet or whatever.”

“Firecracker, no mad scientists-”

“ ‘No mad scientists want to work anymore!’ Yeah, yeah….” Firecracker made a rude, dismissive gesture that eerily reminded Frogg of Voltar.

“Don’t you dare take that tone with the mighty-”

“You can’t eject me out the airlock.” Firecracker grinned in a menacing fashion. “This is a no disintegrator ray zone. Plus, Glory Guy and General Sargent are here.”

He ground his teeth and narrowed his eyes, but huffed in defeat.

“We’re still on for brunch Monday, right?” Firecracker adjusted the lapels of her suit jacket.

“Of course! Galactea is dying to meet you.” Skullosus’ entire demeanor shifted from intimidating to casual in mere seconds. He cleared his throat and tapped the front of his mech suit. “It’s disappointing that we’ll no longer be business associates. Please send any promising mad scientists my way?”

Firecracker nodded as she shoved her hands in her jacket pockets. “Yes. Of course.”

Skullosus nodded again and stood up. Then he ambled away towards Glory Guy who had just managed to catch his ball-of-chaos rugrat.

The gears in Frogg’s head started turning. If only Glory Guy wasn’t here. If he could just find a way to get himself in front of Skullosus-

“Enjoy the show, Goggles?”

Frogg’s thoughts were interrupted by Firecracker looking directly at him with tightly folded arms and a smug smile on her face.

It was that moment Frogg also realized his goggles had extended out a bit. He had unintentionally zoomed in on Firecracker and Skullosus when he got wrapped up in his eavesdropping. Also, he’d only been standing...ten feet away from their picnic table.

“Oh….” Frogg raised the tip of his claw to his chin. “A-ahhm….”

“Skullhead has a bad habit of using his outside voice.” Her smile grew and she laughed a little, her shoulders bobbing. “So, you’re an aspiring Skullosus minion then?”

“Yes.” Frogg pushed the tips of his claws together, blushing in embarrassment. “I’d like that. Very much.”

“I’d hold off from applying right now.” She held up a warning index finger. “Skullosus thinks he can juggle wedding planning with an evil operation that’s about to expand from not-yet world destroyer to galactic conquerer. It’s a circus!”

“...g-galactic conquerer?!” Frogg was salivating a little now.

“I can see the evil little twinkle in your eye.” Firecracker snorted. “Seriously. I’ve been ejected out of his airlock two different times because of pre-wedding jitters! Wait. Wait at least a month. Then he’ll be back to ejecting minions from the airlock twice a week. Only once if he’s in an especially good mood.”

The tone of her voice and imagining himself floating about aimlessly in space made Frogg very, very aware of gravity keeping his feet attached to the earth beneath him. He looked down at the grass and swallowed thickly. “Mm-hmmm….”

“Good news is you’re a shoo-in,” Firecracker lightly clapped Frogg’s shoulder. “I got my foot in the door because Skullosus caught a whiff of mad scientist on my CV. I can only piece together mad scientist scraps with duct tape, gum, and a miracle!”

“What exactly does Skullosus need a mad scientist for?” Frogg asked around the growing lump in his throat.

Before Firecracker could answer, Voltar popped up and sprayed a mix of spit and terribly played kazoo music in her face. There was a big, stupid smile on his helmeted face and he narrowed his eyes challengingly at Frogg and Firecracker.

“Time to move out, Docktor Frogg!” he declared.

Firecracker had a tight-lipped smirk on her face as her pupils shrank and she blinked a few times. She sniped one of the kazoos Voltar still wielded between his knuckles, raised the cheap instrument to her lips, and took a deep breath. She tweeted into the kazoo, as loud and obnoxious as she could. The resulting foghorn bellow was bigger than Frogg thought the instrument was capable of. It was followed by enough wind to push Voltar’s antennae back and at least a gallon of spit.

Now it was Voltar’s turn for shrinking pupils and rapid blinking.

“What was that for?!” he cried indignantly.

“You started it.”

Voltar tweeted the kazoo again, this time waving his hand off to the side with a few conductor-esque gestures as he seemed to try and remember some tune.

“...is that supposed to be Jingle Bells?” Firecracker asked.

“Nightshade smells! Bobbin lost a pin!” Voltar sang off-key. Frogg cringed when Firecracker started playing her pilfered kazoo actually in tune with Voltar. “The Shade mobile lost a wheel and the Cuckoo got away!”

“Oh, my God. I remember when Nightshade had such a cow about that on national TV.” Firecracker snickered. Then her eyes bugged and she raised the kazoo, tapping the air with it a few times. “Can you imagine putting together a choir of these and playing it right outside his house? Bonus points if its kids in Nightshade’s official shirts and carrying his stupid new action figures.”

“Ooohhh, he’d hate that!” Frogg chimed in, an evil smile tugging at the corners of his lips for the first time in awhile.

“Do you have more of these?” Firecracker shook the kazoo again for emphasis.

“No.”A few more fell out of Voltar’s pockets as his eyes shot back and forth like pinballs.

“I’m getting ahead of myself.” Firecracker laughed as she pocketed the kazoo and extended a hand to Frogg. “I’m Firecracker, the spritely and unpredictable! Pleasure to meet you.”

“Docktor Frogg,” Frogg spun his claw once with a little showy flare before taking her extended hand. “The ah...insidious and dement-cru...malicif-ignant.”

“Um, excuse me!” Voltar glared at her. “I’m the illustrious leader of the League of Super Evil, Voltar. But I don’t really need an introduction. You’ve probably heard of me.”

He puffed out his chest and made a display out of looking at his nails.

For a moment, Frogg tensed up and braced himself for an incoming Voltar tantrum. Most people were barely aware that they existed, saw them as minor nuisances that could be deterred with a “shoo” motion and a spray bottle, or worse, asked who they were even after several events that had almost leveled Metrotown.

“Yeah!” Firecracker tapped her palm. “The balloons? You kept everybody on 4th street up all night after popping a bunch of balloons...Where did you find enough?”

Voltar made a pleased noise. “The dollar store foolishly threw them out! They were all there in an alleyway dumpster! Free for the taking.”

While Voltar was laughing as if he discovered the secret behind perpetual motion, Frogg groaned and rolled his eyes.

“That’s where we find all of our equipment,” he snarked.

“Frogg! Don’t give away our secrets.”

“You already gave it away.”

“Do you think there’s more kazoos back there?” Firecracker interrupted.

“I didn’t think to look there!” Voltar sighed. “I actually bought these.” He glared at the kazoos still stuck between his fingers.

“Recorders would be more annoying,” Firecracker said. “We should stock up on those instead.”

“I told you!” Frogg said in a sing-song with a pointed stare at Voltar.

“Wait a minute.” Voltar folded his arms haughtily. “Who said you were joining us on my genius plan?”

“Fair enough.” Firecracker mimicked his body language before leaning in and blowing a raspberry. “But I can find cheap recorders and I know at least six evil parents that would love to use this as an internship opportunity for their kids.”

“I can recruit an entire neighborhood of annoying kids!”

“Brilliant.” Firecracker smirked. “If we teamed up, we’d have that neighborhood plus six kids. It’d maximize how annoyed Nightshade would be!”

“Wait, wait, wait…” Voltar shook his head. “Our goal is to annoy my neighbors. Especially Steve.”

“Okay.” Firecracker leaned in closer. “Let’s give Steve nightmares.”

The cold, icy tone Firecracker used actually sent a slight shiver down Frogg’s spine. For a moment, Voltar looked a bit phased. His yellow pinprick irises dilated a few times and he took a step back. A moment later, Voltar regained his nerve raised a triumphant fist. “Steve will pee himself in terror!”

“Great.” Firecracker fished a business card out of her pocket and slipped it into Voltar’s hand. “Call me when you’re ready to discuss the plan! I’m always excited to team up with other villains.”

With that, she waved and walked towards the same bratwurst cart Voltar was at a few minutes ago. Frogg watched her passing form, wondering why someone that had connections with Skullosus of all villains would want anything to do with L.O.S.E. Whatever her intentions, she could help Frogg start moving ahead in the world. He’d keep a wary eye on her but until proven otherwise, she’d given him a small spark of hope. He was mildly disappointed that the evil scheme was still Voltar’s small-peanuts vision but at least it’d been upgraded to real nuisance instead of mildly irritating; like a housefly aimlessly larking about exchanged for a mosquito nipping at someone’s neck.

“Gross. Did she just ask me on a date?” Voltar held out the business card as if it was a bag of dog poop.

“As if.” Frogg rolled his eyes. “Girls give you their phone number on scraps of notebook paper or napkins with little hearts on them. Or they just put their number in your phone.”

“How would you know?” Voltar looked at him suspiciously.

“I’ve been out on a few dates!” Frogg said, a bit more defensively than he would have liked. “Anyway, business cards are common. A lot of big-time supervillains and minions have them. This would be our first major collaboration with another villain. It might gain the League more notoriety.”

“We’re known!” Now Voltar was getting defensive. “We’re a household name…”

“We might actually get on the front page of the newspaper.” Frogg mused. “Or better yet, convince a social media influencer to make a video about us…”

“It’d be nice to see my face on the front page,” Voltar muttered.

“Alright, I’ve decided! The League will team up with this Firecracker. Only temporarily!” Voltar snickered. “Your nights of blissful slumber are numbered, STEVE!”

Before Voltar started on an evil laugh, Red joined them. He waved casually and held up a kazoo. “I’m ready to toot, Voltar!”

“Change of plans, Red. We’re going back to the drawing board…”

“Can we go back to the drawing board over subs?” Red Menace held up a coupon with a giddy grin. “Mrs. Johnson had a leftover Get 3 Subs free for Gene’s Sandwich Shoppe!”

“I could eat,” Voltar agreed.

“What about Doomageddon?” Frogg asked nervously.

“Oh, I have enough leftover grocery money to get him a sandwich. Besides, Doomy has very specific tastes!”

“Yeah, I bet…” Frogg shuddered. Thankfully, a big meaty sandwich was far more appetizing than Frogg’s string beany body.

Yet another reason Frogg was excited by the prospect of potentially leaving L.O.S.E.

[saleintothe90s]

482. Seventeen Magazine, March 1996

(see also: 1994, 1995)

Two things that are sightly upsetting: 1. I barely remember looking through this issue when I was 12. 2. I had to pay $30 for this issue off eBay.

Unfortunately, the Tendrecils line from Lancome is discontinued. Doesn't stop me from misreading it as "tendrils" though.

Does Kate know what magazine she's reading. This was Seventeen in 1995/1996, not 'Teen. 'Teen was the girly magazine back then. I don't know about Y/M, never read that one.

Those Hush Puppies the girl in blue is wearing.

South Coast Today [archive]

A similar green pair with laces seemed to be everywhere in my magazines for a brief time in 1996. I never saw anybody wearing 'em though. Never saw them at Kinney. I don't see 'em on eBay either, Joel sold 6,000 pairs at his store in 1995, wherearethey. 1

'Y'all know Cover Girl still makes this?!

Remember this beautiful "great" packaging Maybelline had. If I had money to throw around to collect old makeup, this would definitely be in the collection.

The fuzzy trim dress was a classic prom dress (or, at least the teen magazines made it seem that way) for the mid to late 90s.

Anna's dress is #1. I love the short sequin Hawaiian print dress. That is 1996.

There's those black and white dresses again! The Chanteuse girls will kick all of our butts.

I saw a lot more of these pastel dresses in my 1997 issues, which sadly yes, I'm trying to find on eBay right now. No luck.

If I was allowed to have makeup back then, you better believe I would have worn this look at school the next day.

I honestly had no clue that self tanner was a thing yet, or maybe just a thing that was sold at like, Saks in the glass case.

Slick straight hair. That was the thing. I had hair down to my waist back then so suffice to say I was not sporting this look

I used to get my Sanrio stuff from the My Doll and Toy Shoppe in downtown Hampton, Virginia. If you said the name of the store quick, it almost sounded like "MIDOL toy shop".

Every time I would see this ad for Kaepa shoes, naive 12 year old me thought "oh my god is that girl going to burn her school down?"

I had that lava lamp keychain and the 8 ball! I used to get them from either Claire's or Spencers. I had a Cracker Jack keychain too around this time that will just randomly show up in my dreams.

Did people really have scanners to scan in their handwriting back then? I imagine they were a small fortune back then. I tried doing some research on this software, but nothing came up.

Mickey was still stuck in 1995.

Oh, these were SO GOOD in the waining days of the low fat craze.

I remember when the Backstreet Boys got real big when I was in high school, I thought back to the ad and wondered "wait, haven't they been around for a while?" In 1996, they didn't even have an album in the U.S. yet.

"our internet address is.."

Some of these look more like pageant dresses.

I adore all the short dresses in this issue.

Is this a freshman dance? They look like freshmen.

Sharon Stone is a not-g0ing-to-prom icon.

Man, what happened to Finesse? It's like once 2000 hit, it became bottom shelf stuff.

There's always one dress that makes me sad in the prom issues, and I think it's this one. It looks so ... mature.

School Zone time, real pics of real kids from a school in Las Vegas:

The shiny, silky shirts!

These are the only two things I remember from this issue when I was 12: MaryBeth's amazing outfit--I wanted it so bad--and Jennaia's cat shirt.

A baby Tobey Maguire.

Baby Eliza Dushku. Did anybody else other than me think it was totally the norm for a guy to want to wear a bright tuxedo like this to prom?

I wish my scanner app on my phone got a better picture of this amazing Betsey Johnson dress Kathleen Robertson is wearing.

ok, a lot going on here on page 230.

-When I was attending Mary Baldwin College, there was this really cheezy store downtown that sold mostly cutesy poo gag gifts. Very cringe store. I'm sure if that store existed in 1996, they would have sold PMS Crunch.

-We're still in the waining days of the low fat craze here, so here are some "healthy" chips. Garden of Eatin' is still around! I think Guiltless Gourmet went out of business?

-I want to see photos and or footage of the Creamette Pasta Party at Tavern on the Green. All I I found was a blip on the New York Times:

On Saturday, about 17,000 carbo-loaders at the annual pre-marathon pasta party at Tavern on the Green will dig into five dishes created by New Yorkers, one from each borough. The dishes were the winners in a contest sponsored by Creamette pasta. The judges included as many weathermen (Storm Field and Mr. G) and sportswriters (David Kaplan of The Daily News) as food experts (Patrick Clark, Bob Lape and Robin Leach).

The meals, which will be served from 4:30 to 8:30 P.M., are free to runners in the New York City Marathon, which will be held on Sunday. The dishes are: baked ziti and vegetables by Martha Katzeff of the Bronx, rigatoni with beef and cheese by Mike Boyd of Brooklyn, spinach-rotini toss by Barbara Shields of Staten Island, creamy macaroni and basil salad by Karin Mackin of Queens and sweet nutmeg kugel by Diane Girer of Manhattan. All the recipes are by runners. 2

Remember when these Y-Necklaces were popular for about a minute?

1.Parnes, Francine . “Old Dog Trots Out in Trendy Places.” New Bedford Standard-Times, December 25, 1995. https://www.southcoasttoday.com/story/news/1995/12/26/old-dog-trots-out-in/50652285007/. 2.Fabricant, Florence. “Food Notes.” The New York Times, November 8, 1995, sec. Home & Garden. https://www.nytimes.com/1995/11/08/garden/food-notes-021709.html.

[acaplaya-musings]

Voiceplay Visuals: In The Air Tonight

Now this is a song that many people know, at least partially! Even if the name doesn't ring a bell for you, you almost definitely know the part that some people call "one of the most iconic drumlines in music", so really it's no surprise that this was an arrangement from The Human Drumkit himself, Mr Layne Stein! Voiceplay's cover of In The Air Tonight premiered on YouTube on the 17th of June, 2023, and features J None, back again! I will of course say more about the video when we actually get into it, so let's go!

Apparently the style/aesthetics of this video plays homage to a classic 80s cop show called Miami Vice, which used the song "In The Air Tonight" in its pilot episode, in a scene which (so I've heard) has been referred to by some as one of the most iconic in the history of television.

(Also the car belongs to Layne's dad, and likely would have been sitting in the garage since the early days of 4:2:Five, at least)

J looking very cool and fresh in that red blazer! (Reminds me of the Walk Like A Man section of the Boy Band Medley!)

Geoff is, once again, the only bare-shouldered/sleeveless one of the group! (A back-to-back occurrence if you don't count the Peaches video!) (Also peep the necklace!)

A cool audiovisual effect thing to transition into the "modern-day" filming style!

Cesar is vibing, and Eli is back at it again with the unworn-sunglasses-as-accessory!

Cool necklace! And he's got earrings, too!

I won't lie, this may be one of my favourite Geoff Looks of 2023. It's not even anything particular about the outfit, he just looks so pretty in this one! (And his hair is looking very nice here, too 👀😁)

"Well if you told me you were drowning, I would not lend a hand"

Of course I had to acknowledge Cesar's powerful side-eye here! Like seriously, if anyone ever asks you what a side-eye is, just show them this moment! 👌

Group shot!

I believe I read a comment somewhere saying this was filmed outside PattyCake Productions or something, like outdoors? And apparently it was a bit warm outside, especially with the lighting rigs, but if they were sweating/partially melting at all during this, you really can't tell! They did great!

(And shoutout to both Layne and Tony for set design and direction!)

Cesar never fails to put his whole self into his performances, and I love it every time

Voiceplay love adding brief little moments like this into their videos sometimes, just to keep things interesting and/or keep viewers on their toes 😄

Get it, Layne! Go off!

I wanna post screencaps from Geoff's little vocal solo and/or Layne's epic drumline-recreation immediately after, but still images don't do either justice! Go (re)watch it yourself!

"I been waiting for this moment, for ALL my liiife!"

The retro filming style/aesthetic is back! Happening so quickly and smoothly that you would be forgiven if you didn't immediately pick up on it! (*cough*)

Sure, why not?

"Well I been waiting for this moment, for all my life, oh loooooo o r r r d d"

(Pretty Boy!!!!!)

J None is freaking amazing, and I really hope he becomes a permanent Voiceplay member again someday; both he and Cesar are fantastice vocalists and performers, and they both have vocal ranges wide enough that they can both easily take the role of baritone and/or tenor!

In my opinion, the original song does not really start getting interesting until the "bass drop" drumline like 3 minutes into the song, but Voiceplay's cover is not even close to dull for a single moment! We get incredible vocals from everyone in this one (and I didn't talk about Eli much at all here, but vocally he was of course phenomenal), and the arrangement has a fair few complexities and interesting stuff to it, like the stomp-clap-click percussion moment which I still struggle to actually keep in time/on beat with! Definitely a very strong cover from Voiceplay, and frankly it's a crime that it "only" has 500k views on YouTube! It deserves a million! At least!

[cantstoptheimagines]

just finished watching journey to bethlehem so i could see milo manheim and uhhh... here are my “train of thoughts” notes, meaning there is literally no organization here

@multifandomsimagine must hate me rn because i basically gave her a play by play of the entire movie bc it's just so campy. it's literally just a bible dcom to be quite honest. (also i am officially campaigning for milo manheim to play flynn rider and it’s all based on his role as joseph alone) 💀

They think I wouldn’t notice the inclusion of a Pair of Kings actor, but I did

Not even two minutes in, I can already tell this movie is going to be fucking hilarious

The narration sucks, it’s so bland

Why is the “Journey to Bethlehem” song suddenly a pop ballad?

The costuming is okay, but the language is so modern. This feels like a play written by TikTok

The first song is a bop

The facial expressions so far are very bland

I feel like it’s trying to provide some feminism anecdotes, which I find very interesting. Not what I expected at all to be honest

Feels like a play you’d do in high school for extra drama club credits

Joseph is literally just Wally Clark if he were in a Bible study club

I genuinely can’t tell if this is meant to be satirical or not

I’m living for Puss in Boots as an evil king, iconic

Good to Be King is the ultimate showtime villain song. I will die on this hill

Love the choreography in this villain song. Love men who can dance in sync while stomping their armored boots

THE SNAPPER LIGHTS, I’M CRYING

Love Mary’s betrothal outfit

This dialogue is so fucking funny and for what reason?!

Office camera glance

I really like the shot of them behind the water wheel thing, it’s gorgeous

His hand is so much bigger than hers, oh my god

Gabriel. Iconic. Hilarious.

Far more Mary centered than I expected. It’s definitely her movie

Camera work during Mother to a Savior is beautiful

Love the map graphics

That cut from Mary/Elizabeth to Joseph. The editing in this movie is so smooth

Good Joseph, Bad Joseph. Why is he dressed like evil Legolas? Their outfits are giving Anakin and Padme

The Ultimate Deception is definitely one of the best songs. Joseph fighting against himself in his own subconscious, singing a duet with himself! Are you kidding me?!

Officially considering Joseph fanfiction

The Magi are everything musical theatre needs right now

The donkey as a running joke lol

We Become We is a love song for the ages, try to prove me wrong, I dare you

Dancing with the fireflies?!!!!!! When will it be my turn

The way she turned her head away, this is so funny oh my god

A prince with daddy issues?! Guess I found my husband for this movie. He has a great song, definitely one of the best but it’s probably the least promoted. I’ve never even heard it before even though it’s so good

Why wouldn’t you just lie about where you’re from lol, am I missing something with that part?

Joseph jumping into action after Mary says she wasn’t the only one chosen for this. We love a Milo Manheim character

“we’re meeting the lord, surrounded by sheep shit” lmaooo

Mary and Joseph are just the smart girl, dumb boyfriend trope and I love them for it

Joseph carrying her through the streets. He should’ve been a girl dad

Bro just got knocked out by a donkey lmao

Silent Night scene with a donkey pacing outside the barn where Mary is giving birth is honestly great

A shining light over the world with an angel choir concert glowing and sparkling in the sky, hot damn, who would’ve imagined

“I’m holding all the answers in my arms” is such a good lyric

“Mine is the kingdom, mine is the power, mine is the glory forevermore” changing into “thine” was a pretty clever idea

Joseph kissing Mary’s head!!! STOP WHY AM I SHIPPING BIBLICAL FIGURES

“One who has come to save the lost.” “Am I lost?”

“You are not your father” CALL OUT THOSE DADDY ISSUES, MARY

Damn, ok, Antipater

*finally kisses Joseph* “You’re welcome” WHEN WILL IT BE MY TURN

Stay for the end credits just to hear Brand New Life, it’s a great song too. The credits also feature Go Tell It On The Mountain

Would I be weird if I wrote fics for this movie lmao

[struggle-but-its-all-ocean-floor]

I waited until I had a day off to review and listen to IVE's new album, but first, let me share my thoughts on HEYA and the MV. I've seen it a few times since it came out on Monday, but still can't decide how much I like the song.

The MV itself is pretty amazing. The visuals (the beautiful colors, patterns, artwork, etc.) and creativity are really strong, the camera work is awesome, the styling in great, and this is by far their best MV and a great MV in general, but, on the other hand it feels rushed and disjointed... They jump from one eclectic frame to another, and my brain doesn't even have time to digest what I'm looking at - too many colors, too many different members appearing on each shot. The MV doesn't really tell a story or allow you to properly take in the visuals, the members, the sets, the choreo, even the song. It's a very pretty MV, but too fast paced.

Gaeul got the raw end of the deal. She actually has, imo, the most beautiful shots in the MV - esp. the close up on her face when she's looking ethereal; imo the best, most iconic shot -, but she has, like, 0 meaningful lines. For some reason, people don't seem to care for Gaeul? I don't think she has the best stage presence (she probably has the worst), and, for a main dancer, her dancing doesn't stand out, but she's the best rapper imo and she has a really sweet and mellow personality that I find charming and refreshing. She often goes viral for her parts too (her verses in After Like are some of my favorites).

Also, at this point you can call me a Rei anti although I don't hate her at all. I'm just honestly sick and tired of her face and voice. She gets literally all the lines, on par with Yujin, but her voice, to me, is super childish and annoying. There are verses of hers I like, especially the their first songs, but overall, she has way too many lines now. People like her because she's cute and acts sexy, right? To me, she's by far the weakest dancer and her personality is the least appealing (again, not to sound like an anti, but I watch all of IVE's videos on their YT channel and can't stand her anymore). Anyway, she objectively has way too many lines in this song. Her opening verse is terrible to me, and none of the others are any better (esp. the bridge...).

The line distribution in this song is pretty surprising. They gave Liz tons of lines (it seems they're starting to appreciate her again...), and she ate them! Her voice sounded amazing, and Liz is also the best live singer and one of the best dancers (after Yujin, she's the only one who imo doesn't look weak or tired when she dances). Her verses in Heya are some of the best parts of the song, and her first scene is one of my favorites in the MV (I love her outfit and that popping move she does with her chest).

Leeseo too got the lines she deserved. Her first verses aren't great, but I like the rest. I think a lot of people dislike her voice, but I think she's a very talented maknae. I really like her tone (it's catchy and versatile, although sometimes she does sound a bit childish), she has amazing facial expressions, and her dancing is on par with most of the other members. I think Leeseo is great with killing parts.

Wonyoung got less lines than usual, but she had enough screentime anyway. I thought Yujin didn't have enough lines, but it's more like she had less screen time than usual. Her lines in the bridge weren't great though. She would've nailed Liz's post-chorus verse. Imo, she could've taken the second post-chorus. Gaeul should've been given half of Rei's verses, at least.

Even after listening to the song on Spotify, I'm still not sure how I feel about it. It's refreshing and they pulled off the concept change, but Baddie might be better. This song is safer, and some parts are great, but it's not the catchiest, and it has too much rap probably.

Idk... Really glad for my girl Liz, though.

Oh, and the choreo... not great at all. I've seen their Studio Choom performance twice and can barely remember anything. IVE are very weak dancers and their choreographers sadly don't know how to make them look good. I thought things were looking up with I AM and Baddie, but...

I'll make a separate post for the album...

[guangchuans]

hey adam what did you think of the metamorph concert? oh funny you should ask! here :3

hi guys. i’ll pretend i know staging directing and anything more about music than “i like sounds” here 👍

first, critique:

the concert felt and was rather short. i understand why, but it was still sad to had it end so soon lol

my personal opinion here: i wish we got more older songs other than the iconic ones, but again, this is the guilty album concert, so i understand

he really did not do well on “not over you” and i’m glad he acknowledged it too, not just moving past a subpar performance

“want” also wasn’t the nicest imo? he sang that weirdly low, or at least that’s what i heard

maybe again, just my audio, but it really didn’t sound as if he actually Sung “advice” lol

this one i’ve said before but honestly, even taemin can’t do “move” now - the dance i mean. maybe it was the clothing here though bc on the show with akmu it was great. but yeah the red cloth outfit didn’t pair well with “move” imo and made the key hip movement look messy

this is not about taemin; the beyond live style of concert kind of deprived us of actual cinematography of it :/ like tell me why strings and black rose looked so much better on random fancams from 7 rows behind than… on the actual screen lol

general commentary:

he was so nervous. really. like i get why, again, i understand it all, and even that didn’t stop him from delivering some absolutely delicious stages, but ohhh brother he was nervous

why was the audience so. dead. like why did you hype up my man when he did good huh. i have to do everything in this house myself next time i’ll be the hype man nr 1

this is my lukewarm take: i didn’t enjoy the “criminal” rock version that much. it was very boring? the chord progression of the guitar sounded too much like a sample without much twist, and there were better ways to incorporate rock into that song imo

i think overall the ratio of lip sync to backing track to no backing track was reasonable and i do like that he didn’t try to lip sync much, just letting everyone see “yeah this is playback”

and now <3 praise and what i enjoyed <3

even though i really don’t like “the rizzness”, that opening was fucking insane. imagine starting a concert while hanging upside down. and singing while it. wow!

all the ment segments were so precious. it was clear he missed the audience for his solo stuff too. i know he’s been touring with shinee for half a year now and all but i imagine it’s different to know that these people came here only for you, you know? the interactions were cute and it was just… well it’s good to see the both sides of lee taemin :)

as i mentioned, the ratio of supported vocals to raw vocals was reasonable, but when he did actually sing… oh lee taemin. this is obviously a biased opinion because i genuinely love his voice, it was what made me fall in love with him as an artist in the first place. notable mentions of vocals imo:

“heaven” was perfectly delivered and a feast as always. the bridge in “heaven” is probably my top 5 taemin bridges, so it’s not surprising, but the energy on the stage while he performs that is So Good. MWAH

“light” was fun! i was dancing along, the playing with the dancers choreo is entertaining to watch and it’s a good time over all

after the flop of “not over you” he payed back with both “night away” and “blue” to me. “night away” especially, it felt so warm and so… just lovely. he nailed that

even though i don’t particularly enjoy “black rose” i can’t deny, it was so good. the choreo is always captivating and he sung it well

“door” … where do i even start. “door” is one of my favourite taemin songs of all time, and to see it executed in such a bold way was absolutely incredible and so enthralling, i felt enchanted listening to each new note and line. genuinely an amazing experience

some miscellaneous thoughts that i don’t know where to place:

i loved “impressionable,” the energy was so right for it, especially, well the D2 unzipped pants :)

the “strings” choreo is so sensual and sexy and yet in this classic taemin style of subtlety about it, it’s so nice to watch, to see him get lost in the pain/pleasure the song talks about. and there is almost, a grown aspect to it now, the aspect of like fully owning his body and what he does with it. very nice

“she loves me she loves me not” was cute, the choreography was very simple but still nice to look at, and i loved the energy on stage of it. the girl gang TM smiling and all :) good time!

rearrangements/special concert versions of songs:

as i mentioned above, i have lukewarm feelings about “criminal,” i didn’t dislike it, but it could have been better

LOVED the whole “danger” stage so much as well as “famous,” to me they’re like two sides of the same coin tbh. and something about both of them being in the same section as want mmm…

i wish i didn’t have to talk about “guilty” but i think i have to mention “guilty” too. the staging was absolutely gorgeous, the orchestral pieces at the beginning and before the bridge, the change in choreo of the dancers as if ensnaring him… it was delicious! such a good stage!

a separate section for the encore because i feel like it deserves it:

i don’t think it’s too untoward to think of jonghyun’s passing when it came to the date of the concert. i saw a few other mentions of it too, so i know i’m not alone in this belief. and this is not to suggest it was somehow planned this way with this date in mind, but rather, soemthing to just keep in the back of your head, i guess?

the whole encore was magical. opening the concert back up with “idea”, the orchestral version nonetheless, and staging that mixed both the hell and heaven aspects of the concept (light blue iridescent suit + dark stage lighting and fire) was delicious to witness and a great way to get the energy in the audience back up again

i don’t think i can talk much about what “pansy” means to me as a song without crying. maybe it’s stupid, because that’s exactly what the song was meant to do, but the fact that taemin co-wrote it too just… makes it so special :( and to know what… the sentiment of the song is probably even doubled now, to know that he came back from the enlistment, because so many fans kept loving him and his music and we stayed by his side even when he wasn’t there. this is just me being sappy i know but to hear “pansy” again made my heart sing

“i think it’s love” is a beautiful song and he sung it beautifully. it was a great encore choice, just an overall masterpiece

finishing the concert with “identity” of all his songs, on a concert named metamorph after the idea of metamorphosis, the imagery of cocoons and blooming and growth seen throughout the concert, with, once again, the significance of the date… it meant so much. it means so much. it was genuinely a moving performance, one that hooks you in and keeps you there, not letting you go. the emotion the execution the meaning behind it all… it just felt right, for that song to close the concert

CLOSING THOUGHTS

i’ve seen every taemin concert, save for the beyond live one in 2021, and this one fits into the theme beautifully. it’s a comeback, it’s a reminder that he’s still here, that he is Back, and he is back for good! as he said in one fan sign, this will go on for as long as he wants to and he will be the one to put the stop to it. i’m grateful for everything taemin did musically this year and i can’t wait to see him grow even more, as an artist and as a person. love you! if anyone read this whole thing leave me an 🍎 emoji in the replies hah <3

[dcviated]

@rfn-margot sent: New icon inspires an ask for a new season; how is Raguna handling the weather? All those leaves all over the farm and home? (And town?)

Rune Factory is a great farm sim but like all games in its genre simplifies a lot of… things. Whether it’s the fact there’s not a single bathroom in the RF series that you can see or the quizzical state of technology. On the one hand we’re magic-wielding backwater towns and on the other we have airships and flamethrower tanks. What is it? Where even are we??? I’m reaching for concrete foundations from which to build up my own version of this world and left with so many choices I feel like I’m building my own world entirely.

Well. That’s fine.

All this a preamble for me to get into… there’s a fuckton of trees around Kardia and Trampoli. Fall comes around and we don’t have to do any raking? Are you kidding? The only person who gets an excuse is Micah in RF3 farming under a tree and I guess Ares in RF5 with the dragons up in the air… There’s gonna be leaves. Neither town Raguna has lived in are windy enough that he’d escape the wrath of leaves. But! I think he’d enjoy it! It’s busy work, sure- but there’s going to be at least one or two monster helpers with him that play in those leaves. And that brings much needed laughter to our solitary farmer. Because he needs socializing and doesn’t always get much prior to marriage.

Raguna isn’t immune to jumping into leaf piles himself. The guy can be silly, especially when people aren’t there to watch. This can and should be exploited by an ask or someone or something I am asking anyone reading this to take advantage of it and !! You know!! Don’t make me spell it out.

As for the weather? Thriving. I was actually going to make a post about this as I’ve made in the past, that despite being a spring lad and that being his favorite the fall is not too far behind. Summer has its benefits. Winter brings its reprieves. Spring brings the work drive and readiness to develop but … Autumn is a time of settling and savoring. Whether it’s the shift of climate into more temperate ranges or the resurgence of the seasonal tastes that are oh so appealing not just to enjoy but to make for others who enjoy.

Raguna particularly enjoys those soft warm evenings with a hot mug of something spiced to drink. Sitting on the porch and listening to the growing wind whistle through the branches or brush the tips of the plants through the fields. He’s a reflective person and this is something you can do in any season, sure. But it’s the drink that makes it. A drink you can savor best when you feel the chill just start to pull at your skin.

The cooler weather also brings with it warmer clothing. We’ve only seen Raguna in his one outfit (two others if you count the wedding scenes) but I 100% believe he is someone who likes wearing warm hats, scarves, and layers when he’s working outside. Compared to the hot season he’s escaping; this lets the lad actually break into his wardrobe! Okay, not too dramatic. Raguna isn’t stylish by any stretch, but he does have clothes and familiar pieces he likes to wear. Soft wool-lined pieces. Collars. What have you. COMFORT. COMFY.

Also sweaters. Girls wearing sweaters? Maybe that’s my bias.

Oh yeah. And Raguna grows a pumpkin patch to give to people to carve for the season!

He’ll carve some too! They look silly! Not very scary!

And he absolutely adores the markets and festivals.

But he doesn’t do the drinking thing still.

Anything else I’m forgetting? Hm.

[mysteriouslybluepirate]

Watching Con O'Neill's Filmography Day 8- The Last Seduction II (1999)

Warnings: Women in lingerie, on-screen clothed sex, drug use, phone sex, violence against a pregnant woman, voyeurism/public sex acts, gore, gun violence, murder, blood, stabbings, etc.

I did not bother to watch the first one, though I've only seen good things from people online. Again, it doesn't feel like I've missed anything by skipping to Con content.

As always, live reaction below the cut, review overall at the bottom.

Quick message before we start. We've all seen the gifs of what Con does here. He has a weird short 90s haircut and acts in what could be described as soft-core porn. We're both going to pretend we didn't see each other here, seeing this shit, right?

I didn't see you, you didn't see me.

Good. Now, let the show begin-

_________________________________________________________

Opening logo reminds me of my school mascot, not a good start.

Joan Severance, you deserve better. I don't know who you are, but please get another agent.

I actually love the opening font here for some weird reason. It's all swirled, and silly.

That attorney looks like Patrick Bateman from a distance, honestly, that would be great. This movie couldn't afford Christian Bale in the 90s.

I know the point of the movie is that she's hot. So I'm getting it out now. She's hot. The all-black style is a type of mine, and I'm not mad.

Smoking is bad for you. At least she's considerate, actually throwing out the cig...Nvm, she's an asshole. Not so hot anymore.

This takes place in Barcelona and our main cast will be Brits? Sounds about right.

Did she put on lingerie in the hotel, then take it off, and get dressed to go meet someone?

I hope Con got a good vacation out of this at the very least. If this was filmed in Barcelona. Which- (Editor Me can't find anything about this movie, I'm assuming just establishing shots?)

F.U.2 is a fun bar name. Real Izzy vibes

A GAY BARTENDER

AND CON

(my brother called his 90s shaved look 'adult Greg Hefley'-Diary of a Wimpy Kid. Honestly, I can't unsee it)

Is this his 3rd character that meets the protag at a bar (Scarborough Ahoy, maybe Dancing Thru the Dark if that wasn't a diner)? That's a pattern.

The hesitation over calling Con a gentlemen is funny

TROY FENTEN okay, that's a name. sure. let's just move past that.

'FAGS FROM A FAG'. Oh, this is going to be a movie. You know, most straight movies from this era didn't even have queer characters. But in Con's bad movies, they're added so Con can bully someone. The bad Con movies just make him a homophobe. I'm connecting these dots-

Again, the whole 'Have you been in love?' thing. Dancing, This, 3 steps to heaven. There's a pattern. In an interview for 'Telstar' Con said Joe Meek was obsessed with writing puppy love in all his songs, when this fucker can't escape 'longing' in his own career.

This looks like the start of a porno. (kinda?)

This is a weirdly subservient foreplay? The taking orders, voyeurisms, etc...Odd? Well, at least we know Troy is willing to go down on someone, which is something that will surely affect the plot.

Don't undo a condom wrapper with your teeth.

What is that position? She's braced up over the arms of a chair. Seated on the floor would be more comfortable. For both of them!

Who says 'frisky' in day-to-day life.

I WANT HIS WARDROBE(Editor Me, it's literally just a suit. I don't know, I'm easily impressed). The Gomez and Morticia look to their outfits is great.

How do you run a sex phone line surrounded by people in the same room. At least he employs everyone and anyone, icon.

Real 'ugly' people can tell when you're flirting with them to get shit. We're trained from middle school age for survival. Also, that travel agency guy is hiding a British accent poorly.

(This is the point where my brother (he's 18 don't worry, I have a brain) wanted to watch, so we restarted. He's seen Dancing, OFMD, Vengeance, and Telstar. He's a trooper and being their for my Con O'Neill phase. The bullying of Con commences.)

My favorite comment of his was "I hope this guy gets shanked in Barcelona" after his sexist line about women. Valid.

OH MY GOD. That computer design is awful, Graphic Design is my passion, indeed

Just tell her exactly how the business runs. That's a smart idea you won't regret later.

(About him being able to be on any call) That's a consent violation

"Dumb bitch." Okay! Ew

This seems like a shit place to work if he can just casually stand and watch over you perform like that

(about one of the phone people using company time to talk to her boyfriend) Could he have a system to block calls from people who don't pay or suspicious numbers? Why didn't he just do that?

HE JUST PUNCHES A PREGNANT WOMAN? (blood on her face, not on her fists) Okay? Like, why would anyone stay?

("naughty boy.")WHY IS SHE INTO THIS? Red Flags? NAHHHH

SHE JUST TRIED TO KICK I PIGEON! ("Pigeons may be flying rat's but you're the real skum of the city" - My Brother Everyone)

'This is the woman incels think exist'-Again, he's just rocking it tonight

Oh so 'he's falling in love' WHY? Why do you do these roles CON! So far she has let you fuck her, been kinda dodgy about anything with her past, and rude.

(Footjob scene)BUTTON UP THE BOTTOM OF THE JACKET AT LEAST.

Okay the older couple not yelling at them, but stealing a peak made me laugh.

IS THAT A CLOCKWORK ORANGE MANIQUINE IN THE BACKGROUND (yeah, he has mannequin wall art. No, it's never mentioned)

Good, he got blue balled, deserved for being a bastard.

Why is she doing all this? Just to get a sliver of the profits?

(While he's buying drugs from a seller, he gets in all close.) Con shouldn't be allowed to smile like that at men in sniffing distance while playing a homophobe.

It's a good thing he's high, and not clearly able to see how badly she's lying/bluffing. It's not even a convincing performance, like...why?

I don't like him saying good girl, not at all. Which is surprising for me. I'm proud of myself for not thinking Con acting like this is hot.

(She just kind of leans over, unzips his pants, leans in, and goes for it. Awkward pan up to his face) Was he commando? Was he already hard? So many questions.

(At a strip club) What's with that pole? Her hand goes around half of it! Thick as a telephone pole!

Why did she even come to this bar for info? OH, she's buying a gun.

This isn't hot, like, at all. It's just gross.

(bastard gets stabbed with the straw)GOOD FOR HER

She did just walk past people, covered in blood.

This false phone call thing is somehow isn't gay. Sad.

-Catching yall up, it's been 10 minutes and nothing fun has happened. She shows Troy the tape. He somehow doesn't hear that she entrapped a guy and got him in jail. They set up a trap for blondie who was threatening her life.

Troy saying sexist shit only to immediately get shut down is so funny.

the hitman from earlier isn't going to fight blondie cause he expects to fight a man, not a woman, right? Yep, called it.

Based body guard

I-what was that fight? Just a few punches then overkill?

(Body guard gets shot up)What did he do to deserve that man?

Can no one hear a gun going off?

What do you mean by 'that looks nasty'? She looks fine.

So Troy gets semi-framed? Like, he was a piece of shit, but still, that doesn't solve anything really. The business might stay afloat but since none of the people know how the computers work, or can reroute funds to their pockets, what's the point? They just lost their jobs! Same with the bar.

The two leads smugly flirting and smoking it's not gay at all actually, they're enemies! (banging my head into a wall) WHEN WILL IT BE MY TURN

Why does this Troy get called a 'naughty boy' so often in this movie. We should bring this energy to all his roles...especially Izzy-

So she just gets away with it? That's a shitty ending, I didn't even like her in this movie. I barely tolerated Troy, but I wanted her to get caught.

The movie just...ends.

________________________________________________________

Writing: 3/10 Sloppy, I couldn't follow why our characters were doing what they were doing half the time. Also, there were points where the writers realized we might be starting to like Tony, so they just made him do/say something shitty. Like a marvel movie making a villain have a good point, then making them kill a bus full of children. Just so we know who to root for. Who was our protagonist? I will remember this movie for the (somehow stylish look at the time) 90s Con, and the weird sex scenes. Again, I love a strong female lead but she just didn't do anything fun.

Cinematography/Editing 5/10: Nothing memorable, nothing subtractive. Meh. It was, in fact, a movie.

All actors besides Con: 4/10: Forgetable or just bad. Again, it's not their fault, it's the writing. I didn't know who the story wanted us to root for. So I'd start to like a character just for them to do something confusing or shitty. Again, it's obvious they were trying. I hope these people got to work on something better.

Con: 6/10 He can't save a movie. He is having the most fun here, which isn't saying a lot. Troy is Con's most homophobic character in his filmography to date. Con plays him all bark with no bite. It's fun to see him play a totally irredeemable jackass. Again, the whole 'falling in love' plot was introduced and kind of dropped, but I'm glad they didn't really commit to it? Troy is way worse than Angel (from 3 Steps To Heaven), Angel was fun in his shitty behavior and stayed consistent in the story. Here Troy's an abusive dick. I was having fun until he punched a pregnant lady for shock value, then it was hot/cold the whole film. Good performance, shit script.

Overall 5-6/10 Not a strong recommendation, his worst film by miles. If you go in knowing it's shit, however, you can have a great time! I did! My brother and I got to watch a shitty movie and just take it for what it was! If I was watching this alone it would be a 4/10. It's no 'The Room', thank god, but it's nothing groundbreaking.

There are two POV characters and the story couldn't make me care about either of them. The setting felt like it could have taken place in London, Seattle, or Amsterdam. Con was fun, but this movie is really only worth it if you want to see Con play a homophobic weasel of a man.

Only higher than the projects he was barely in. (Link should be updated for those who want to rerank anything, ill post it in the comments if needed)

I hope everyone has an amazing holiday season. This time of year is shit, but you're already this far in!

@ivegotnonameidea Thank you so much for your recommendation and assistance!

I would love to hear everyone else's opinions on this shitty film!

[agentnico]

Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery (2022) Review

Knives Out holds a special place in my heart. It was the movie I took my lovely fiancée to see on our very first date, and naturally both the film and the relationship turned out to be a great success. Now our 3rd year anniversary together is only weeks away, and ironically a sequel to the movie that started it all off for us has come out. Couldn’t get any more sentimental than this now can it. Was half expecting it to rain on the way to the cinema just to add to the romantic clichés. It didn’t rain though. Instead our Uber driver nearly killed us by driving against traffic on a one way street to the cinema. So that was fun.

Plot: Tech billionaire Miles Bron invites his friends for a getaway on his private Greek island. When someone turns up dead, Detective Benoit Blanc is put on the case.

Knives Out was a great whodunnit that shocked everyone by how good it was when it came out back in 2019. Not least due to it having been directed by Rian Johnson who was fresh off of making the very divisive Star Wars: The Last Jedi. However Knives Out was such a pitch perfect movie which brought the classic murder mystery to modern day, whilst still in-keeping with the old-school Agatha Christie vibe, with Daniel Craig even playing the very clear Hercule Poirot type character. The dialogue was sharply written, the performances were great and overall Knives Out was nothing short of being AWESOME. So much so that it was a box office smash hit. On a $40 million budget it made over $312 million profit. That’s a good fashioned pay-check right there. So then Netflix bought the rights to two sequels for a ridiculous $469 million, where the deal also includes a $100 paycheck to both Johnson and Craig for each sequel. Look I don’t really understand the Netflix algorithm and how it makes money, but now I REALLY don’t understand it. Knives Out was successful, but not successful with these paychecks! Again though, don’t get me started on algorithms - I don’t get them!

So Glass Onion is the first sequel to Knives Out, and one that sets out to show if Knives Out was a one trick pony or if this murder mystery is destined to be a hugely successful murder mystery franchise. The only real connection between Glass Onion and Knives Out is that they both feature the social commentary on the rich and wealthy, as well as Daniel Craig’s detective Benoit Blanc. So let’s start with Blanc himself. He stole the show in the first film with his Southern accent, and he does so again in Glass Onion. Seeing him be the fish-out-of-water by being a lower class member stuck on this Greek island with all the rich folk, it was adorable seeing him in his matching outfit be shocked and in awe at all the expensive tech and aspects of this place. When he tries a special celebrity-made hot sauce and exclaims “Oh Halle Berry! That has a kick” in his Southern drawl... honestly that was peak. Couldn’t get any better than that. Benoit Blanc is an icon at this point. He’s clever, funny, super likeable, and I would love for Craig to keep playing this character for as long as possible.

Rian Johnson is also back on both writing and directing duty, and he swaps out the cold and damp suburban setting of Knives Out to the colourful sunny holiday shots of Greece. It’s as if he’s trying to distance himself visually from the first film as much as possible to signify that this is it’s own murder mystery tale. Well, you know, just like with any Agatha Christie or Arthur Conan Doyle book. Same detective but dealing with completely different scenarios. But Ryan really establishes the light vistas of the island, and I must say I am glad I got to see it this film on the big screen rather than on Netflix (where it premieres end of December), as the setting and even the central ‘glass onion’ (yes, there really is an actual glass onion, it’s not just a metaphor) are worth seeing in their true spectacle. Speaking of spectacle, I’m also not going to talk much about the plot, as this is one of those films best seen when not knowing anything, as there are many twists and turns throughout that should be experienced in the moment. Johnson presents the movie in very non linear fashion on purpose, so as to reveal parts of the puzzle only at the exact time he intends to. Like an onion, he peels the layers one by one, only at the end revealing the entire grand plan. Does it at time become style over substance? Partially, however Johnson’s script is so cleverly put, and minus the first 30 minutes where the movie drags a little before getting to the actual murder mystery, the thing as a whole is really well paced an keeps you on your toes.

Glass Onion is also very funny. It dials up on the humour in comparison to Knives Out, and some of these new characters are even more wackier that the previous line up, with the cast all very game here. Edward Norton is evidently relishing playing the Elon Musk-type tech genius billionaire and is on top form. Kate Hudson is on a whole new level of over the top here, dancing and prancing her way from shot to shot wearing massive My Fair Lady hats and taking over the room with her exclamations. Janelle Monae plays the role that Ana de Armas had in the first Knives Out film in that she is the outsider, and the one that Benoit Blanc warms up to the most. Monae is very good in the role, but again, cannot say much about her character without spilling spoilers. The rest of the cast all play the parts well. You’ve got Dave Bautista, Kathryn Hahn, Leslie Odom Jr.... they’re all great, however some are a little under-used. There’s also an abundance of great if not a bit random cameos, which were really fun. Look, we get to meet Benoic Blanc’s partner in this one for one moment, and I must say that the casting choice for that was brilliant. 

Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery is a great successor to the original movie (though the first film I’d say is still superior) that goes bigger and wackier, and though it doesn’t always work (the first half an hour is rocky), it’s well made up by the murder mystery itself, the great cast and a solid script by Rian Johnson. It’s all very entertaining and super enjoyable. And again, Daniel Craig’s detective Benoit Blanc is a character creation that is so damn good, that I cannot wait to see him again.

Overall score: 8/10

[martianbugsbunny]

OUAT Thoughts Pt.29--Episodes 16-17

I have watched through S3E17; spoilers DNI. Also, spoilers warning for anyone further behind than I am.

—Bae’s death was a knife wound. Bae’s funeral was twisting the knife, adding salt, and dunking me in a vat of lemon juice. Everyone who knew him put dirt on his grave—including his son and Hook. Hook is what really gets me.

—Oh, wait. Not everyone. Rumple didn’t even get to be there. That destroyed me. Rumple did everything to find Bae, and still Bae died and Rumple didn’t get to be at his funeral. That’s so fricking unfair.

—My feelings on Regina and the Wicked Witch are b*tch (affectionate) vs. b*tch (derogatory). Regina shows up for their magic duel wearing black, red gloves, and perfect lipstick, and I’m all, “Yes, Queen, look fabulous while you duel 🫶🙌💅.” Zelena spends time getting dressed up for the duel, and I’m like, “Girl, stop being so petty and dramatic, what’s your problem.”

—The last thing Regina needed was a bratty older sister. When it comes to parents, neither of them really got a great draw. Each of them got one decent parent and one really crappy parent. And it’s not like Regina asked for or wanted the life that Zelena is so jealous of—but Zelena is so self-centered, she would never even consider that. I get the feeling Zelena would be an enthusiastic participant in the Trauma Olympics.

—But she got hers. Turning green because she’s jelly of Regina is a hilarious twist.

—Oz is a gorgeous set piece. I don’t know, or care, if it’s actual decor or CGI, it’s absolutely stunning. Gold and vibrant green are just mean to be together.

—While Oz itself is beautiful, I’ve actually found the Oz characters to be disappointing. So far, all we’ve got is the Wicked Witch, the flying monkeys (who barely even count), and a rather fleeting, meaningless encounter with the Wizard. While I do usually love the intertwining of multiple stories with each other, it feels like Oz needs more structure and world-building on its own. Having more of the characters present as their own entities (the Scarecrow, the Tin Man, Dorothy, the Cowardly Lion, Glinda, and that’s just off the top of my head) would have been more rewarding after the long buildup for Oz.

—I’m quite pleased to see the silver slippers. Yeah, the red shoes are iconic, but using the OG silver is splendid.

—I love how Hook gives zero hecks and wears his pirate clothes in Storybrooke. Everyone else wears clothes appropriate to the environment, but Hook is still 99% pirate. (The other 1% is the fake hand he attaches instead of his hook.)

—That one time he wore a knight-like disguise in the Enchanted Forest was a very good moment for him. And for me. That outfit was gorgeous on him.

—Blackbeard was a rather generic pirate. Now, I don’t expect he’s ever going to come up again, at least in any significant capacity, so that’s fine, but he could’ve looked more intimidating. If even Hook is going to be somewhat afraid of him, he should look like the beefiest, wickedest, meanest pirate on the high seas.

—I adore Ariel for preferring swimming to walking. One of the things I hate most about OG!Ariel is that she acts like walking is for some reason superior, even though she’s never frickin tried walking in her life. OUAT Ariel has done both, and now she’s made an informed decision. Not to mention, mermaids having realm-crossing superpowers makes her preference logical (although preferences aren’t always, and don’t have to be).

—Eric’s cloak with the Ursula clasp is dope.

—Just when I thought Hook couldn’t get any angstier, now he has extra drama with Emma. And the word “yearning” has canonically been used to describe his feelings for her, so….

—Rumple being reduced to a slave to Zelena’s whims is killing me. Regardless of which side he fights for, he’s always been a beautiful, lively, crafty, witty man. He’s easy to root for because he’s almost larger than life, because he has complexity and intelligence and vitality. And now he’s been brought so low, and that eternally-entrancing spark in his eyes is gone. While his posture usually reflects his self-confidence, now his back is bent and his shoulders are hunched. Zelena has taken an uncannily bright man and destroyed him. I need somebody, anybody, to rescue him, because the worst part is, nobody can even be there for him because Zelena makes him dangerous. It’s all or nothing, and the nothing he has right now scares me.

—His powers of future sight are terribly inconsistent. Which is easily explained by the difficulty of interpreting the future, but still—how did he not see this coming?

—Regina’s method of training Emma is rather amusing. Also the fact that Emma just had to be extra in her use of magic.

—Poor Snow. She has not only a stubborn husband, but also a stubborn daughter, teaming up to try and build a crib. That baby will be safer sleeping on a table *jk* *don’t leave babies on tables*

—This entire town needs to schedule family therapy sessions with Archie. Sister-to-sister, couples, stepdaughter-to-stepmom, and Henry can have a great-uncle to great-nephew chat with himself. Really, though, these people might consider having conversations instead of internalizing everything and becoming evil. Just a thought.