#oh but also. this character would NOT let their fear be shown.

[whump-is-love-whump-is-life]

My least favorite thing is when canon gets a character’s whump wrong.

They would not fucking act like that while captured or tortured.

[kuromochimi]

omg okay i saw ur requests are open so… how would bl boys react if their spouse got pregnant? can u make it angsty if you can plz😝 i like hurting myself

• MINORS DNI • MINORS DNI • MINORS DNI •

oh this plot fits our career driven boys soooo much (reo’s is his gf since I didn’t notice the spouse part from the request while I was writing his part)

Content warnings: angst, talks of pregnancy and abortion, a bit ooc bc these boys are toxic here, characters are aged up! Not proof read

Mikage Reo

Standing in front of reo had never felt as anxiety inducing as it did right now. He was your safe space, someone you’d run to whenever you felt uneasy and for the most part, he never failed to give you the comfort you needed. He was gentle, patient, and reassuring. That was… until you handed him a positive pregnancy test. As shaken as you were, reo’s world was also spiraling as he stared at the two pink lines shown on the test. Positive. He got you pregnant and right as he was at his prime as a new football player.

“No” was all he mamaged to say. “No? Reo you- you can’t just say no” you were sobbing, thinking of how you’d have to stop your studies and how you were going to have tell your parents. “I just… yn I can’t handle a baby right now. And my parents. Fuck, my parents are-“ his hands in his hair, tugging lightly in frustration. You wanted to get mad at him and scream and push him but all you could manage to do was look at him in shock. How is he the same person who cuddled you every night and bought your flowers just because. The same person who had you in his future plans and promised to marry you as soon as you both had stable careers. Amidst reo’s sweet reputation in your heart and mind, you often forgot that he was also as career driven as he was in love. Reo had already disappointed his parents once when he chose to play sports instead of working at their family’s company. Now he’s made it to a place where they can at least commend him for his choice. He can’t risk another disappointment. His parents didn’t even know he had a girlfriend.

Finding out you were pregnant, your initial response was fear which later changed to calmness because you were so sure of reo. You were so sure that he wouldn’t leave you hanging. Maybe you shouldn’t have been so hopeful after all.

Itoshi Rin

Your relationship with rin isn’t what people think it is. Sure you were married. Sure lots of his fans adored you as well. But behind the scenes, the marriage was arranged by his parents. That said, rin was never hostile. The relationship was civil, it was peaceful even. He did his thing and you did yours.

Later on in the marriage, you both decided that since you guys were married anyway, it wouldn’t hurt to add a couple more benefits along with having each other’s (quiet and to some extent, comfortable) company. Sleeping together became a regular occurrence and without meaning to, that led to you getting pregnant, something which rin had never planned on and something he definitely won’t be happy about. You weren’t happy about it either. Not when you didn’t exactly have a healthy family to give the baby to be. Acting fast, you scrambled to your laptop to schedule yourself for an appointment to get a check up and most probably to get rid of the pregnancy. Unfortunately, in panic, you left your pregnancy test on the bathroom counter. Something that rin was welcomed with once he got home. It didn’t help that you left your laptop in the bedroom for him to see your scheduled appointments as well.

Thinking you could get by without letting rin know, you decided to act normal upon seeing him enter the kitchen. You were preparing dinner when he walked in. After smiling at him and greeting him to acknowledge his presence, you went back to dinner prep. This confused rin. Were you not going to tell him? Was the test maybe not yours? Were you fucking with him? “Really yn? Don’t you have anything to say?” “hm? what do you mean, rin? Did you want something else for dinner?” He annoyingly nodded “you’re pregnant?” This made you freeze, dropping the knife on the floor, barely missing your foot. For a second, a flash of concern hit rin’s eyes but that might as well have been your imagination. “It’s a yes then” you gave a barely there nod. “Rin I was going to tell you. I also just found out I’m sorry” he nodded again “You were going to tell me? Sure. Not like you already had an appointment with the clinic, no?” Your face lost all its color. You weren’t even sure why he was acting so annoyed. Every time your parents or his parents nudged you two to give them grandchildren, rin would always act annoyed and irritable the moment you get home. He also repeatedly expressed his refusal to have children, especially not when his career was booming. Having a wife was one thing but a child? Entirely different. He didn’t have to invest so much when it came to you. He just has to be respectful, be someone to satisfy your needs sometimes, maybe even go on a few dates here and there. Easy. But he wasn’t a monster so having a child would take up so much of his time, something he couldn’t afford to give. Was what he always said. So why was he so mad at your for just taking one step ahead? “I thought you didn’t want to have a baby, why are you mad?” You semi-shouted. “Maybe I didn’t but you can’t just decide to get rid of it on your own. That’s messed up” “okay but stop raising your voice rin, you’re scaring me. You always tell me you don’t want a baby with me so I just assumed” “Know what? Considering you seem to want to get rid of it so quick, then yeah sure, I don’t want that baby. You have my card, use it for the hospital bill or call me if you need me to be there. You probably won’t though, right?”

a/n: I suck at writing angst but here’s an attempt o(TヘTo)

[altades]

Vashwood rant

I can't sleep so why not analyze vashwood in the middle of the night

Now, this analysis is mostly of the manga, with maybe small takes from 98 and tristamp

To start let's look at the boys from their respective beginnings

Vash is so cruelly mischaracterized as a child, and it might be a little bit of trismaps fault, even though i do love it, or maybe people are just putting characters into boxes without really thinking about it but Vash is so not soft-shy-nice little baby brother. The whole thing with him being younger is so insane to me, i get why if Nai was born like 10 minutes earlier he would make it his whole personality (very sibling thing to do) but it's just so stupid. No, they have 0 age difference and it doesn't affect their dynamic cuz the are literally twins for the love of god. And, really, when you look at the manga as kids Nai was the emotional one! And he still is!

Nai is plagued by fear and anger and resentment and those emotions are what drive his every decision. Vash, on the other hand, is much more in control of his feelings and doesn't show them as much. That is to say that pre-tesla nai is the one worried about their relationship with humans, about their future, he's the one crying after talking to Conrad (what a sweet child he was) while Vash seemes much less scared.

And when they find out about Tesla Nai is the one who faints - he’s the more reactive one, the emotional one. And that small difference is what sets their paths so differently. Because Vash actually gets a chance to talk to Rem and figure things out.And that talk is so very important because it makes Rem, who already was everything to Vash, even more important. 

Now, I want us all to think about how terrified Vash was after seeing Tesla cuz he probably thought his own mother was going to dissect him and his brother. But then she saves him when he tries to end his own life, proving that no she’s not gonna kill him, because she, as every human, has the capability to learn from her mistakes and make better choices. (too bad Nai didn’t get that lesson lol)

And then we get to the big bad things. (it’s genocide) But the important part from that whole ordeal is Rem’s sacrifice. Because, listen, I love stories where humanity is shown to be capable of change and forgiveness is a virtue and love and pussy and all that but oh man can it be so so unrealistic and a little bit insane to watch (su im looking at u (i love su but oh boy that is not how the world works unfortunately)) but Trimax manages to make it work so well. I believe that’s cuz Vash is a very kind and loving man but is also completely out of his mind and has horrendous mommy issues. At least half the reason he doesn’t kill people is because Rem has died to save them, and killing them would make it all be for nothing. If he kills these people or if he lets them die would that mean that Rem died for nothing? Did she sacrifice her life to save these people only for her own son to end their lives? AND you know I’m right cuz he literally says it in the manga but also BECAUSE HE DOES THE SAME FOR WOLFWOOD (also he did kill Nai when he had the chance but we don’t have time to unpack that)

All of that is A LOT and very complicated (i love Vash he’s so well written he’s my perfect little meow meow) now let's talk about Wolfwoooooooooood /twirls hair/

WW is much easier to understand and analyze cuz he is, just a guy,, WW is just a normal person who gets insanely unlucky and gets in THE WORST possible situations (If he ever played DND he would roll straight 1s). That is to say that his story is sort of a way to show how much life in the badlands sucks, but also that there are good things even in the worst places (the orphanage) And WW reacts to situations in the most rational way possible way - he kills to survive. he doesn’t want to but he doesn’t get a say in it. If he could chose he would just live with his family and friend and do whatever. And that, him being so normal in such a violent and bloody world is what makes him suffer all the time. His inner moral compass is screaming at him what a terrible person he is and he promptly ignores it.

That is until that moral compass manifests itself in the form of a tall, blond and handsome stranger that he’s supposed to lead to his death. The stranger who turns out to be the most compassionate and kind man WW’s has ever seen. Who he’s supposed to kill. It’s like finding an oasis in the desert and being forced to burn it to the ground. And WW doesn’t want to do that, and he refuses to believe that the oasis is not a mirage so he tries to get Vash to kill someone, even if it’s WW himself. (It doesn’t work.)

As we all know WW changes his mind because of Vash’s influence. And he dies for it. Because even though Vash’s beliefs are born of human virtues, no man is made to walk his path, for he is not human and any mortal who tries to follow an angel to the skies is doomed to crash. WHAT YOU DON’T EXPECT IS THAT THAT MAN WILL BRING THE ANGEL DOWN WITH HIM

There is this line I wrote for an art i’m planning to make and if you’ve read this far you deserve a lil spoiler - “have you found absolution in bringing an angel to his knees?” and it captures perfectly what i'm thinking. And also Vash spends so much time trying to be closer to people but I think him killing Legato might’ve been the most human thing he’s ever done. Cuz it’s is so beautiful in the way he does it for the memory of the person he loved and yet so ugly in it’s cruelty.

I’ve said this before but most of the time when there is a human/ some immortal powerful creature relationship I don’t think the human is that special but WW HE SO IS. Maybe it’s the way that he’s just as deep in the nuclear bombs with personality business as Vash is, being one of said nuclear bombs, but still remains a normal person with relatively good morals that he can anchor Vash to a sort of normality that he doesn’t get often. Like what other guy would get hunted by all sorts of freaks with you, get in trouble all the time, get shot and etc and etc and then go for a drink with you like it’s a normal wednesday? Wolfwood. Or maybe it's that WW learns of every worst part of Vash, he sees him be on the brink of losing himself, he knows Vash has actually caused the deaths of hundreds of thousands of people and ALMOST did it again after Julai, and still stays with him? He sees Vash become something that is not human at all and still stay? Idk MAYBE IT’S ALL OF THAT but WW is just so important and so down bad but we all know that already so i’m not gonna add to that

Anyways, I got this all out of my system gn

[daisyychainssj]

I know the whole Richas and Tallulah conflict happened hours ago and it reached a resolution and stuff but I'm just now catching up with it so I'm gonna write out my feelings about it because I think the whole thing and the way everyone is interpreting it differently is really interesting. I'm probably going to end up saying things that people said like hours ago so sorry if it's a bit repetitive to read!

!THIS IS ALL ABOUT THE CHARACTERS NOT THE CCS!

Richas POV - Okay so firstly, Richas' pov is probably the most complicated because he (obviously) has a much more complex relationship and understanding of the paintings. Not only do they cause him to be distressed because of how they're created but seeing it up on Philza's wall has just shown him that his pai Cellbit betrayed his trust. He didn't get rid of the paintings and instead has been just handing them out behind his back and I can't imagine how gut wrenching that must've been. Tallulah get's defensive about the painting and so she becomes the target of all of his hurt, frustration and fear. He is so worked up over this (understandably) and is getting increasingly frustrated because nobody is listening to him. He didn't agree to the "not be siblings anymore" ultimatum because he truly felt that way, I think he was just blinded by pure desperation. This poor kid NEEDS to be given the opportunity to sit down with someone and open up about this whole Romero Richas situation and he needs to be listened to and his fears taken seriously.

Tallulah POV - Now onto Tallulah's pov. For Tallulah this painting is a cute art piece of her papa phil and her brother Chayanne and suddenly her other brother is demanding that he take it back. Yes it's his painting but also she's a kid, in her eyes this painting was given to them and it's theirs now why would she give it back just so it can be destroyed? Also, Tallulah is the sweet egg! the kind egg! oh she's just so lovely and that's all there is to her!!!!! (sense my sarcasm here) sometimes when that is the way that someone presents themselves it's because they're scared that if they aren't that way they won't be liked/loved and people will leave if they're not prefect. This girl has abandonment issues on top of abandonment issues and Richas agreed to not be her sibling anymore over a painting. So this impacted her HARD. (we ofc know Richas didn't mean it but her character didn't) Tallulah acts out and (from her pov) stands her ground for once and now her brother doesn't want to be her brother anymore. I also think her throwing a tantrum and being a bratty made some of the audience even more shocked and dare I say frustrated at Tallulah behaving like this during this situation because that's not how they're used to her being. She was being stubborn and giving these intense ultimatums but she can be like this I think people just don't see it often because she only really lets her guards down in that way infront of Phil and Chayanne.

So now you have two extremely worked up kids who won't really listen to each other because their emotions are so heightened and that's to be expected! Children can not and should not be expected to regulate their emotions in the same way adults can.

Forever POV - His entire pov of the situation is very interesting to me. I see a lot of people criticising the way he handled this and to a certain extent I do agree. However, I think something that is being overlooked is that Forever perhaps wanting to make sure Tallulah was okay is because that is not his child. He only got permission literally yesterday to look after her after being previously denied. With Richas he can sit with him for HOURS afterwards if needed to try and talk through things. He has to drop Tallulah home in like an hour. It's very obvious to everyone on the island how close she is with Phil, she will tell him everything that happened during her time with the other parents. It makes sense, to me, for Forever to want to try and smooth the situation out as fast as he can and make everything okay. Do I think that makes the way he acted completely fine. No. but I don't think it makes zero sense for him to have acted that way. Also, him being Richas' pai means he's seen Richas have tantrums and be dramatic and bratty, he's never ever seen Tallulah do that so yeah he's going to panic and be like "oh shit I need to calm her down/make sure she's okay because this is unusual". I really do wish he had taken Richas' feelings and concerns more more seriously and hadn't just left him for a bit hopefully in the future he makes sure that he does that. It's a learning curve and he's learning to parent as he goes! He crash landed on an island and then got a child dropped into his lap to take care of so he's kinda just learning on the job.

BBH POV - I don't really have much to say here, I think bad handled the situation well given what he canonically knows about the Romero Richas situation (which is basically nothing) He encouraged Tallulah to talk things through with Richas and kept explaining how important their bond is and idk I just think BBH did a really good job.

Overall, I LOVE that the eggs are getting storylines with each other and are learning and growing. I'm so glad that Richas and Tallulah made up, they both need a warm hug and some hot chocolate or something after that whole ordeal. Little kids feeling big emotions for the first time is tough! but they did great <3

(I apologise if I missed anything important that happened between Richas and Forever when they were alone, I don't speak Portuguese but I tried my best based on the bits and pieces that the wonderful Portuguese speakers on here have translated!)

Anyway that's my long ass essay done! <3

[starryalpacasstuff]

Last Twilight Ep 8; Thoughts

We're at the 2/3 mark of the show, and the episode honestly felt surreal. Last Twilight is continuing to parallel iconic moments of Bad Buddy, this time with running away and scenes on the beach. However, it never feels like it's boring or repetitive, because while the parallels are clear, the shows are also distinct. It's clear that the characters in the two shows are pushed by different things.

I was yelling at the screen when I realized Mhok and Day were going off on their own, because ditching Night = recipe for disater (he'd obviously call Day's mom!?!)

But then this happened, and I had to pause and take a moment, now that my fears had been resolved. We know so little about Night, and yet so much. Understanding his character requires a lot of reading in between the lines, and until we know what happened between the brothers, the picture won't be complete. I did, in fact, breathe a huge sigh of relief when I realized that Night was in on it, because while Mhok and Day are capable of handling themselves, if Day's mother found out, we all know that it wouldn't make for a pretty situation.

Which calls in something else I'm curious about. Is Day really naive enough to believe that they can ditch Night with no consequences? Or is there some trust left in Day, that Night will let them go. Has he figured that Night is likely in on it, and is choosing to remain quiet?

There's a number of possibilities, and I'm curious to see how it plays out. It's highly likely that his anxiousness to get away from Night, and trust in Mhok meant that the though simply hasn't crossed his mind too.

On that topic, if we rewind to the beginning of the ep

I just love how much Day trusts Mhok. It's obvious, but I felt it was worth pointing out. Mhok tells Day that there's no one there, and Day accepts. Mhok having played the caregiver role for Day for so long is definitely the main reason for this, and it's beautiful to watch.

Speaking of transparency in their relationship, can I take a moment to talk about just how much I loved this scene? Mhok was upset about the prank, and Day wasn't taking it seriously. Mhok could have clammed up, creating tension between the two. It would even be expected, given his role as Day's caretaker and the 'put Day first' mentality that we've seen so far. But he doesn't, and oh my god, this calls for aplause. He calls Day out on it, and gives Day a taste of his own medicine. And, this is something that perfectly shows that things are not the same now that they're boyfriends. Mhok gets more agency, more say, because he's one half of the relationship. I've said thia before about the subversion of faen fatale, and I'll say it again; Last Twilight has a very strong identity as a show, and a very strong grasp on what it's doing. Time and time again, it has shown us opportunities that it could have taken to create drama, and veered in the opposite direction entirely. The subversion is intentional, and clearly so.

While we're talking about characters standing up for their feelings..

I feel like someone should create a masterpost of everything we know about Night, and we can add on every bit of new info we get and compare it to the rest, because everything tells us so little yet so much. It seems that Night is still willing to push against Day's hatred. But of course, he's more willing to allow Day to live happily, as we see him letting the two go off on their own. It seems that every time Night does something for Day, he prefers to do it anonymously, such as showing up to the race. We've seen that he's accepted the villain image. Is this why he seems keen on upholding that villain image in front of Day, while helping him behind his back? P'Aof isn't one to write conflict for small or petty reason, so I'm starting to be more and more convinced that Night genuinely did something wrong to Day. He regrets it, but he also knows he can't take it back or heal their bond, so he's simply keeping the status quo, helping his brother behind his back, while only allowing himself to be selfish on occasion, like this one. I'm so intrigued by Night and his mannerisms, his actions.

Back tracking a bit again, (this is a mess)

This scene was a pivotal moment. I've previously mentioned that Day was living in a fantasy, and I've also briefly touched on Day's sence of normalcy in a post, how he was relying on things to go back to 'normal' and how he's been able to build a new normal with Mhok. He'd get the transplant eventually, and things would go back to 'normal'. Mhok helped Day redefine his 'normal', but the hope that his sight would return one day was still present. Here, it's shattered. Up till now, Day was living his life as if he were biding his time till he got his eyesight back. Now he's going to be living as if he has to wrap up a lifetime of memories in three months. He's feeling as though time is running out.

I think this is one of the first times I've seen Day talk back to his mom, which is fair, because it's ingrained in asian kids to not talk back to your elders. Day is, in the end, a rich kid. On top of that, he has a single mom. 1+1=2, Day didn't get to see much of his mom growing up. @waitmyturtles talked about this a bit in a post, mentioning how Day's mom's career always came first. She didn't have time to attend a game because she had an event, she couldn't come to school for something because she had a meeting, etc etc. (I don't know how much of an age gap there is between Day and Night, but anyone thinking that Night had to fill in on occasion..?) He's making a jab at his mom, that she's far to busy to be there with him for stuff, and she's far too overprotective to let another be there with him for it. Again, typical rich family dysfunction. Day and his mother's dynamic will be an interesting thing to watch as the episodes progress, that's for sure.

Alright, onto the last one

When I'm not sure if there's a deeper meaning behind a scene, music is always a great clue that there is something greater behind it. As episodes progress, we've seen Day slowly reassimilate himself in society. This is such an important theme, because being a part of and engaging with society is a huge part of asian culture. I view this dance as a sort of culmination of the progress that Day has made over time with Mhok. Would the Day at the beginning of the series have danced with a stranger at a party while having worse eyesight that before? No way in hell. Also, paying respect and interactling with older people is, again, a HUGE part of asian culture, so this was essentially the perfect way to depict this culmination. When the first episode had aired, @twig-tea had first introduced in a post the theme of liminality in Last Twilight. One of the definitions given was "of, relating to, or being an intermediate state, phase, or condition : IN-BETWEEN, TRANSITIONAL". Since Mhok entered Day's life, he's been in a liminal (transitional) state, as he moves closer to rejoing society. In this scene, we see what I'd like to say is the end of this liminal state. Of course, this isn't to say that Day is no longer in a state of liminality. Liminality presents itself in various ways throughout the show. This is simply a culmination of Day and Mhok's efforts to reintegrate Day into society. While the battle is far from over; disable people often find themselves outcasted and removed from society; it's a sign of hope, a sign of growth, a sign that their efforts have a result.

[byebyassociation]

Cahara the Skank (Character analysis)

Tw: The topics of 1500s prostitution, violent rape and suicide ideation

Text version under cut:

Cahara as a protagonist

“Cahara of the South… He originates from the Eastern Sanctuaries. A bastard child left on his own at a very young age. Somehow this poor soul found his way to these dungeons…”

Cahara grew up under unfortunate circumstances, as he was abandoned in Jettiah he had to learn nothing in life came easy or freely

He had three choices to be a pickpocket, burglar, Or lead an honest life

But this choice means little past starting skill/item. No matter what Cahara becomes a mercenary.

“As you grew older you took part in various mercenary armies and learned the dirtiest tricks to stay alive. You were taken in by a notorious veteran highwayman and you joined his little band of criminals and ex-soldiers.”

Instead his first real life choice is if he will stay beside his first real allies or ditch them for his life.

They do not join him in the dungeons if they live

“During one of your many raids, your brigade got ambushed. The odds were seriously against you. You could have just abandoned your comrades and kept you life, or you could have fought to your last breath...”

He didn’t have to take this mission, however his mental narration states as if he does: shoving down fear for the money.

“Something is clearly not right about this mission and you have felt nausea since the the moment you agreed on the job. But you are short on silver and the reward is all that matters in the end.”

Really, he shoved his own feelings down for Celeste

"Celeste, you're still doing this job with the little one on the way and all?!"

Cahara is not opposed to Celeste’s sex work, instead he is opposed to the men who want her due to her pregnancy

"If anything, I feel like there're more gentlemen folks asking for my services these days."

"This isn't right. I don't like it."

"Girl's gotta eat and now I got the little one to feed as well”

"I'm a man. I should take care of you two."

“I’m leaving tomorrow if— no when I get back things will change. You just wait and see!"

He doesn’t tell her what to do, only stating what he himself can do for her

Sadly, he either already had a sense this could be his end or didn’t even let himself think this would be the last time he spoke to or saw Celeste in the flesh

"Just promise you do come back."

He knocked her up in a brothel and contracted syphilis.

“You also get an itch in your groin area...”

Unfortunately a sign of the sorts of people who’d pay for her services without care for her body.

After at least speaking with Celeste he fully made up his mind. He wouldn’t come back without the cash.

“But didn’t he like it?”

Cahara as an NPC

"Oh hey."

"You got me out of here!"

Upon meeting Cahara in the prisons of the dungeons, he is quick to join your party after a short conversation

[You ask him] “What are you doing here?"

[He answers] "Wwell...”

“I do have a mission here, but let's save that story for another day, yeah?"

Regardless of your questioning, he speaks quite anxiously. Stuttering or going silent in an out of character sequence

[You ask him] "Why were you imprisoned here?"

[He answers] "I was caught by one of those malformed prison guards”

“Your conversation took an awkward turn for some reason...”

Prison guards are shown to be sexually violent to those they have access to. Both in their dialogue, their attacks and how defeat by them causes incurable hemorrhaging from sexual injuries.

Cahara does not show signs of this hemorrhaging, however D’arce doesn’t have a concussion either despite nearly having her skull caved in. Both lack status effects for the sake of balance.

When Cahara robs you he has a preference for stealing healing items

This may be his attempt to patch himself up as there is no canon cure for internal bleeding.

[D’arce’s prison dialogue says] "Le'garde... You were supposed to be here…”

When in the prisons most characters bring up your common mission. D’arce, Ragnvaldr and even Enki bring this point up

Cahara breaks this formula

[Cahara’s prison dialogue says] "Tell me... Did the guards ever capture you here?"

He wants to know if he was the only one. He wants to know if there was anything he could’ve done. He’s seeking solidarity. He’s seeking kinship

"Don't let the dungeon have it's way with you. Bye."

"Talk about traumatizing events... Sheesh…”

"This place is starting to get into my head...”

Does this sound like the words of someone unaffected by the dungeons? He is nonchalant but he is not well. In fact that last line is repeated 11 times. He has 18 unique dialogue lines in party talks, none of his dialogue or anyone else’s appears nearly as many times repeatedly.

He’s gone into shutdown, in the upper areas and especially the prisons and areas around it he just cannot hold up. Mentally he cannot juggle his need to keep moving forward and process what happened. 

This leaves his mind to go entirely unfiltered when he is in a space where he can think. Suicide ideation and turning to sex for comfort being his two major callings in this state. Sometimes even mashing together through his willingness to marry a marriage, a very literally dangerous form of sex.

"Hahaha, this is too good"

"Dying down here is most likely the easiest way to go!"

'I'm starting to feel like death would be the easiest option."

“Cahara seems really enthusiastic.”

"Just don't destroy my anus with those big muscles of yours, okay?"

"Ehh, well that's a freaky suggestion, but fine."

[starrclown]

☆ Have Tea With Me: Hazbin Hotel's trailer ☆

Welcome Matey's to my new series:

Have tea with me. 🫖🍵

Fancy ain't it? Matey's it's time we talk about the Hazbin Hotel trailer. I watched it recently and it has... problems. Look, Vivziepop dickriders stans if you have a problem with this post then kindly leave because I will be complaining quiet a bit. Okay at first let's get my complains across and how I would modify it.

☆PROBLEMS:

Alastors broadcast. Why the hell did THE RADIO DEMON make a TV commercial? Wouldn't that be a Vox type thing? Shouldn't he be making ya know, a radio commercial? Isn't his whole thing that he doesn't know modern day technology? Also, what the hell was the porn studio thing? Like that was part of the commercial. Was Alastor just looming over Angel while he was at work? Did Angel send in that footage? Why is Travis there? That commercial is so confusing and it's only 30 seconds.

The voices. Look I'm not gonna beat a dead horse, some of the voices are bad. I only really liked Charlie's and Vaggies. Vox's voice is just bad for his character. Alastor's sounds odd. What was so cool about Alastors voice is the radio type voice filter and the personality Bosco put in the character. Now the filter is weaker and he just sounds weaker. Angel's voice actually makes me wanna tear my ears off. Cherrie, (wiki confirmed by the way.) was made Australian after the pilot and was supposed to have a Australian accent. Maybe I'm just stupid but I did NOT hear a Australian accent. (This is NOT a dis at the voice actors. God damn they are trying their best.)

The Pride City is too purple. You can tell on multiple occasions that Vivziepop is trying to respond to criticism. If you don't know Pride's original color is purple so they turned up the purple in the city. Ya they did that to much.

The Angel's. Bro Adam and Lute are so fucking ugly. Why spoil the main antagonist of the series early? Like that's if Centerword (bomb show by the way) had The Nowhere King playing in the background for the trailer. (We will TALK about The Nowhere King when I talk about rewrite Alastor.) It makes no sense to show the bad guys NOW.

The animation. Oh my GOD. Dude at some points the animation is so fucking bad. The anatomy is odd and the values make me upset. My most hated scene is where that green skinned demon is being chased by the exterminator. The animation is so off and I can't explain it. The line art looks thinner. (Speaking of which why do both Angel and Andrelphus have diffrent outlines? It looks off.)

The premise changed. WHY DID YOU CHANGE THE PREMISE?? WHY ARE WE FIST FIGHTING HEAVEN NOW??? I will talk about this in a diffrent post cause it bothers me SO bad.

Huskerdust is cannon. Look, I LOVE Huskerdust but they should have waited man. I feel like they will be rushed and I'm scared for how they'll handle them. I also want to make a post about them cause I love this ship and I wanna explain their dynamic in my rewrite.

Both Charlie's and Alastors "demon" forms are so fucking weak now. Always so cool in the comic, now he just has black eyes. Wow, so scary, don't let the tenticals get me.

Luicifers wings. Two things. 1. They should have waited. Having the Lucifers wings being shown should have been a bigger deal. 2. HUSK HAS MORE DETAILS ON HIS WINGS. Husk has more details on his wings then the King of Hell, fallen angel. Just maul that over.

☆TOUCH UP? I DON'T KNOW:

Make Alastor technologically dumb. Have him make a radio broadcast and not a TV commercial.

Let the voice actors do their own thing. I think the issue is that the actors have to live up to who used to play the characters. Let them be fun! Let them be their own thing!

Spread colors around. Make diffrent building different colors to show different demons own the buildings.

DO NOT SHOW THE ANGELS. Make them ominous and something that should be feared. If ya wanna make some Angel's bad fine, but keep them ominous. Like instead of showing the extermination, show the bodies and destruction of Hell. Show small scenes of demons hiding, show Chalie crying over bodies, show businesses destroyed. Make it seem like a problem needing solved.

Okay I don't own a animation studio yet so I can't say much. Maybe donate some of the money for Broadway actors to the animation? Just a tea time thought.

KEEP THE PREMISE. YOU CAN MAKE A GOOD SHOW ABOUT BAD PEOPLE GETTING BETTER I SWEAR. KEEP MAKING THE SINNERS GET TO HEAVEN THE PREMISE VIVIANE PLEASE-

Keep Huskerdust. Just slow down. Oh my God make it seme like it would be a actual relationship. Like make them warm up to each other, talk about their both human and demon lives. (Fun fact: Husk is from Vegas and worked in a Casino. Mafia's actually messed around with Casino's back in the day. I know this cause one of my stories has a mafia member and a La gambler fall in love.) Have them help each other with their addictions. Just slow down.

This go for all tye characters. MAKE THEM LOOK LIKE DEMONS. (Wonderful advice I know. Just you get the general idea.)

Make Lucifers wings bat like. Biblically they became bat like. If ya don't wanna go down that route then make them more royal like. Just make them prettier.

I know this advice is messy but this was basically just touch ups and the potential for this show. This trailer is disappointing :/

Well Matey's tea time is over. Come back next tike and bring your own delicate little pastries.

1. I only came up with Have Tea With Me because if anyone ever asks a question I just wanna draw a scene of us having Tea.

2. I GOT MY AO3 ACCOUNT!!! I'm writing my first fan fiction!! Will post when it's out. My account is StarrClown 😘🫶

- ⭐️StarClown⭐️

[ragnarozzys]

tumblr user ragnarozzy you have to answer me seriously. what are the classpects of the gang from always sunny in philadelphia, in your opinion

oh boy. WE'VE BEEN DISCUSSING THIS AS WELL so ok. you can get my thoughts on classpects and as a bonus, also the blood colors i think each of the gang would be if they were trolls.

charlie (bronze): bard of space mac (jade): maid of heart dennis (indigo): prince of mind dee (indigo): knight of doom frank (purple): heir of rage

charlie is the lowblood of the gang and that's why the rest of them would feel like he's automatically assigned to "charlie work". he's a bronze so he can commune and handle animals like rats, cats, and birds. bards are known to be the WILD CARD in a session which charlie firmly is!! he can make or break a session like the way he handles the bar. he keeps the space around him small (being difficult to get out of philly or shrinking the space of his apartment into a studio by blocking off rooms) and while generally laidback, he has shown a routine and a resistance to change. bonus, he’s also creatively inclined (various songs, the musical, sewing, etc).

mac is a jade since a lot of their character arcs can revolve around repression (which mac has Plenty of). purple was also considered for his religious fanaticism but mac wouldn't be that high on the hemospectrum imo. mac is pretty solidly a heart player to me. he is obsessed with his own identity and sense of self. as a maid, he lets others dictate that for him whether its his dad, dennis, the gang, etc. is he the religious guy, the big guy, the gay guy, the ireland episodes also touch a lot on this. he feels every emotion strongly. very heart player.

dennis and dee had a privileged upbringing and think themselves better than others bc of it, considering themselves part of the noble elite (despite having little to no real influence). they're indigo for sure and as twins, should be the same caste.

dennis immediately is a prince of mind to me. he ghosts heart because his decisions to manipulate people and mess with their heads is powered by his own emotional motivations and self (largely for his ego). he insists on standing out, strongly believes that his sense of logic and reason is above all others, and is not afraid to cut down other people in calculating ways to believe he's right.

dee is kind of a hard one to pin down but we settled around on knight of doom. knights tend to be insecure with themselves and hide it with confidence and an obsessive effort to make themself more useful. dee is not a stranger to doom and negativity and moreso, has weaponized it for her benefit, even introducing doom to others like cricket or the guy who called her his "rock bottom".

frank, as the one with the most power and pull in the group using his business status and money while also being insanely unpredictable, is a purpleblood. dude is all rage aspect to me, he embodies anger and fear. he's stubborn, skeptical, quick tempered, easily paranoid at the drop of a hat and manipulates others with his own fearmongering and falsities.

I HOPE THIS WAS A SERIOUS ENOUGH ANSWER this is something that i've been pondering about with my friends since like 2022

[diahire]

Dabi is being taken to the hospital but you had to really squint to see Dabi's spikey white hair as he's carried off to get treated along with Fuyumi and Rei. It didn't help that the official translation had Natsu say Mom and Fuyumi rather than Mom and others which is what was said. Toga is a weird one as she should have been in that helicopter which means she is either dead or decided to get away quickly before others arrived to helped Ochaco.

Oh, dw anon, I know about Dabi being on one of the robot stretchers, its one of the reasons I had so much hope for things to go differently for the League up until the last chapter and why I put aside my fears when Himiko wasn't mentioned or shown with Ochaco. But sadly, I do believe at this point if Dabi is still alive he hasn't got much longer. If we see him alive again he might apologize to his family and then die. Which, at this point, I would personally hate that for personal reasons lol. Like, trust me I know this didn't have to go this way at all and thats why its so shitty to me. Like I do hope I'm wrong and Kurogiri's last words about Tomura's friends waiting for him wasn't alluding to the entire league being dead but when Shigaraki dies right after its a little hard to imagine he meant anything else. I reread through all the chapters tonight and I gotta say it really does look grim with the new chapter on top of it. I let my faith in Hori and hope for a better outcome for these characters, who, imo, do deserve it, cloud my logic when viewing their "last" scenes up until now. It really does look like Himiko died of blood loss by giving all of her blood to Ochaco. Spinner died from brain damage (plus the attack from Present Mic which we know can do extreme internal damage and he was hit head on) And we know the kinda state Dabi's in. His entire body is nothing but a 6th degree burn, nothing left of him but some charred muscle and bone. And don't get me wrong I KNOW MHA logic has shown Dabi could be restored from this, it happened once before, there is no reason it couldn't happen again but yeah, no, horribly it seems like Hori has decided death is the outcome for the LoV. So you see in my thinking now the Todoroki family might also just be transporting Dabi's body off the battle field. Unlike Himiko and Spinner, Dabi's family were there with him when he went down so if he is actually dead it would be very insulting for them to just leave his body on the battle field as if no one owned him. Dabi's fortunate in that one way, he at least has living relatives to collect his body. So I believe thats probably why Dabi was shown on one of the robot stretchers in the distant background. I pray that I'm wrong but yeah, ugh. Kurogiris words and Tomura's death don't make any sense otherwise. But hey! Maybe other folks are right and its just like a misdirection and there is gonna be some Epic Twist that changes all of this. I hope thats true! But until then this mangas cooked for me and my friendship with Hori is over, he will not be makin a fool out of me again. 😂

[diavory]

My thoughts on Obey Me! NB

A VERY deep dive so please beware of spoilers! 🩷

Get comfy because this is gonna be long 🫡

First of all, the beginning just tells you this is going to be one hell of a storyline :D also, feel free to add your teories and thoughts!

So we know is canon that this story continues from lesson 80.

Lesson 80 MC is someone who has lived a lot of moments, grown and get to love the characters in the game (especially your love interest, in general, we know we share a deep bond of mutual trust, love and care. It is something shown on many, many events, devilgrams and the main storyline!)

This is why this whole situation feels so painful.

And now they are back to square 0, in a time where they didn't exist, surrounded by familiar faces that don't remember them (minus Solomon) and now they don't have time to grieve the emotional pain of this huge change because they gotta survive.

We are back to being suspicious, unwelcomed, back to being a potential threath to 7 brothers who just became demons and are on a huge unstable situation where they can't afford to take any risks.

Is even sadder when you see MC's dialogues on some lessons, how they want to act as they used to, to greet them as they already know us when they don't.

The 7 brothers are different, same as the Angels and Diavolo with Barbatos; Lucifer's character is so interesting here because he is full of fear, regret, and yet his pride makes him take the burden of all of this on his own to protect his family, this is why him allowing us near was such an important matter and how his trust was broken so fast once we showed how much of a threath we can be (the Ring Of Light adding a HUGE amount of suspicious to the sus level ngl).

We see how the brothers even look a bit relieved to have someone, a demon, with them. Whether out of convenience to have someone that knows how things work, someone who can assist them, guide them or just of a need of a friend in a land where the other demons are being hostile towards them for being former angels. MC represents a sense of security, confort, even when it comes from an unknown person who seems to be too powerful to be a simple demon.

Regarding their sins

I find it fascinating.

They can feel how the sins that were associated to them are now becoming a heavier influence on their acts, way of thinking and personality. Which only serves as a reminder that they are no longer angels, a reality they haven't come to terms with and struggle to accept.

Probably the reason of this being the many, many, maaaaaany insecurities they have acumulated on the year following their fall. Did they do the right thing? Was there a second option? How would things look if they did ____ different? Would there be a day when they feel at home?

Talking about this, let us move to focus on Mammon for a bit.

Our first man may not be the powerful first born, or as smart as Satan. But he cares for his brothers, A LOT. Mammon has shown multiple times that even if he denies it he worries, he doesn't want his brothers to be looked down upon, he KNOWS Lucifer is struggling to keep everything under control, he knows everything is too much. We've seen in the OG game too how he worries about the people he cares, going extra miles to be able to help, even if he sometimes fails and he feels bad for it.

Our boy knows his limits on how he can't resolve everyone's problems, and yet he tries. I really loved the moment when he explains that he wants to tame Cerberus so the 7 can live a better life, not because he wants a treasure. How he can't keep letting others make them feel less, the Devildom is their home now, and he knows the only way that others would accept them is by making them respect them.

How so?

Becoming the rulers.

This lesson where they go to find Cerberus is one of my favorites without a doubt, you can see how they are a family :")

Talking about family, let's move to our newborn, Satan!

Oh Diavolo.

We know how Satan has always struggled with him being born after Lucifer. He is probably older than most of the brothers, having lived inside of Lucifer, watching the World through his eyes, becoming the anger that he was building inside.

And yet he despises the feeling of being nothing for than Lucifer's shadow. His own perception of him as an individual is fragile, becoming easily unstable and having a hard time keeping this controlled. He yerns to find himself, who he really is but he is scared too, confused, being tossed around on a new place, treated like... well, a demon, to keep him from harming someone.

Was this the best decision?

No.

But giving how everything that was happening around them was too much... We can call preventive messsures? We know Barbatos and Diavolo can and will take actions if someone dares to be a potential danger for the Devildom, and a powerfull demon who has yet to learn how to control themselves because well, he has only existed on a physical form for a year, may have the brother on a tough position.

I really love for the lesson where he finds the little cat, he just seems at peace and is quick to ask MC to please leave so he can be alone. I really like how he took the time to understand the little creature in front of him, one of the first times we see him so calm.

Talking about controlling emotions, let's look at Asmo for a quick second.

Our brightest star, the jewel lf the heavens is now struggling to see his light. He can feel how tense the situation is, and is seen many times trying to cheer up his brothers, being a positive energy for them, always smiling to bring smiles back. He now has the power to charm, but the beautiful demon can't stand his reflection in the mirror and secretly yearns for the beautiful white wings.

Asmo grieves in very subtle ways, like focusing in what he was know for: his beauty; or decorating his room in the most beautiful way, even requesting Lucifer to add a window that wss not there to his room. Asmo has a hard time getting used to the obscure Devildom, where the night shines unlike the Celestial Realm where everything is pristine, pure, and well, celestial. That's why he fell easily for Raphael's illusion of him saying they can go back to being Angels. Seeing Simeon and Luke shaked his resolve to keep being positive for their new reality, and I am glad that we are shown all of this side of him; somehow NB makes the Obey Me characters feel more real. They are not perfect.

Which reminds me :)

Solomon. Solomon my dear what the hell are you doing.

He made a pact when Asmo had just experience a very vulnerable state, with major changes happening and without a lot of time to process what making a pact really means.

Yes, they needed a way to survive (dejavù to when MC made a pact with Asmo) but still. HE DID IT TWICE.

He summoned Barbatos too, agains his will. Forced him to obey and even Asmo got a bit uneasy after seeing the power of the pact in action. Yes, Barbatos sent Solomon far away but REALLY!?

What the hell Solomon did to piss Barbatos THIS much. I read that it may be related to the time where Solomon fought the Devildom? I kind of forgot how it goes but, I really hope we would learn more about this.

Listen, let's talk about this sorcerer a bit more. I may be a simp for him but I see the 🚩

First, he traced after us, and honestly I am grateful that MC has someone to rely on instead of being alone in this new time. He already knew the main characters so that helped a lot to cover up any first suspicious we could have raised, after all, we know that Solomon is smart, maybe way too smart.

Jokes aside on him having his honeymoon phase, I belive that MC feels at ease around him. We have the options to trust his judgement and his decisions, he already met the versions of the characters, so who else could be a better ally?

Solomon is... a complicated character to me. He is a human who has lived far too long to the poing of many times being compared to a demon, a powerfull being with many pacts, one being with Barbatos and that says a lot. Thirteen says she likes his soul, yet something changed once he left the reaper's home and didn't come back in many years, his soul doesn't shine as it did before and she doesn't know why. She sees the same shine on MC, which makes me wonder what happened, what can make a soul change?

Something that is bothering me a lot is that Solomon was asked to pick a side already and he chose humanity. He doesn't mind Diavolo's plan as long as it doesn't damage humans, and honestly; what he said about Diavolo being friendly doesn't mean he sees other races as equals is so interesting to me. What does he know? Whas has he seen?

Yet, I can't help but get an uneasy feeling of something major coming our way, Nightbringer aside. With how unstable the current situation is between the realms, we don't know what we may get ourselves into. And Solomon asking us to please, side with humanity if there ever came a moment where we need to pick a side just seems too direct, as a foreshadow for a battle yet to happen.

He asked MC if they would side with humanity.

MC who feels like the Devildom is their home, who got to love the place, their people and their rules. Who is trusted by them.

But this is a tale of another time, they are not the people MC grew to love as hard as it may feel. This is not the Celestial Realm, the Devildom they met.

Is there a loyalty to be acted upon, when the people it was made for are not there?

Is clear MC wants them to trust them, giving back the grimoire and acting agains what Solomon most likely wanted was the biggest giveaway.

Many times MC was told that them trusting so easily, being so nice with those around them was their biggest virtue and yet their biggest weakness.

Sometimes I wonder if Solomon took an interest on MC because he saw the potential of them. He saw an ally, finally a human he could rely on.

Let's head into our next contestants!

The twins.

We can see how they are constantly seen with the other, maybe as a way to process everything that went through, but; as close as they are they have secrets they can't tell to each other, they have regrets that won't leave them alone, and are being tormented by the nightmares of all the things that went wrong.

We see the difference between the way they act, Belphie being more straight forward, not trusting anyone easily and you just know his trust was severely broken, you can see the effects of seeing how giving your all for someone can go oh so wrong, his sister is now dead. He was an older brother once, now he isn't. The only person he was meant to protect is now dead, and he blames humanity.

Beel tries to be the one acting as the middle ground, trying to be the glue, to keep his family, who are his treasure and the people he wants to protect, to keep them together, to keep them close. He struggles a lot with his sin, it affects his daily life, he is aware of how many things can go wrong if he doesn't keep it in check, and we know the least thing he wants to do is end up causing unnecessary trouble, let alone hurt his brothers.

Let us move into Levi now.

He struggles with quickly adapting to new routines, he knows he may be seen as the weakest among the seven, not feeling as if he can shine as bright as them. Being content staying on the shadows where he can be himself.

Let me tell you something, they way the devs handed his lesson where we get to learn how he really feels, his insecurities, how scares he is, how he wishes he could go back to the times where everything was monotonous, simple, to the things he knew.

How he is depressed and doesn't know what to do. Everything on this lesson was so well written that you can understand him, the reason why he does the things he does. And I absolutely love the last part where Lucifer says exactly what Levi needs to hear.

Because after all his family comes first. No matter if he has to go against Diavolo, Levi ends up agreeing to the proposal, but I can't stress enough how important it is that he asked if he was okay with it, reassuring that he could say no. That he didn't need to push his emotions aside and that his opinion matters, HE MATTERS. I may have teared up a bit reading it :')

I love healthy communication.

Okay, before this becomes longer that it needs to be, let me quickly talk about Diavolo and Barbatos.

We know that the og demon King has just recently fallen into his slumber, throwing the weight of being the Devildom's ruler to his son who probably wasn't as prepared as we might think since it is hinted that it was a bit sudden.

We also get to know there are even demons opposed to him becoming the ruler. Diavolo has big plans but has a long way ahead. Thinking about him makes me go back to the OG Obey Me! Lesson where we go with him and Belphie to a theme park in the human work. But I don't wanna give spoilers on this, but I'll leave it with the fact that Diavolo struggles to see sometimes that he is doing something wrong, that maybe he can't use his authority to force someone to do things that they probably don't want to, that there are gonna be cases where he is actually, the one who is mistaken.

Barbatos is there for him, even if we know it was probably Diavolo's request (this was lighly hinted too) he is as efficient as ever, but I can't help but not trust him, don't come at me, I just feel that he knows too much and says too little.

Let us finish with the Angels: Simeon and Luke.

The first time we met Simeon back in the OG game, he already had an understanding of what Diavolo wanted, the wound of loosing his friends and seeing them fall had healed, or at least he no longer felt as if maybe he could have said something to prevent the war, to be able to make them stay.

He keeps his thoughts and ideals to himself, he is trying to recognize his past friends in their new selves, but he is still an Angel, so even if he doesn't feel completely fine with everything, he is going to enjoy being around that people he used to know.

Also, something that I'd like to mention, is that we know that Simeon was demoted for helping Lucifer and his brothers, so let's add that to the list of thing this Angel has to process, alone.

And Luke... he is very similar to the first time we see him on the OG game, making very clear how he thinks of demons and his opinions. I don't really have much to say about him, Lucifer even doesn't seem to know him that well based on what he says when you have it on your DDD's screens.

Anyway, this is all I have to say at the moment I think?

Idk this game is certainly dark.

Thanks for reading! 🩷

[justagirlwhowritess]

Pairing: Shoto Todoroki x Fem!Reader

Genre: angst with happy ending

Warnings: None.

All characters are aged up! Flashbacks in italics

“Do you still remember all the time we shared?” He asked, barely above a whisper as if he spoke any louder it would shatter reality. I felt my breath catch in my throat. The feelings I had pushed down came crashing back like a tidal wave. “Yes. I remember why we broke up as well.” I said bitterly, tightening the jacket around my chest. “Just give me five minutes.” He breathed trying to take my hand in his, I recoiled. After that night, I’m not sure I want anything to do with him again.

I held the little pink stick in my hand, positive. The tears streamed down my face, this couldn’t be happening. Not that Shoto and I didn’t want kids but his second year as a pro wasn’t ideal. I steadied my breathing and held the test tightly in my hand. He would be home from patrol soon. I don’t want to wait. As I reached the bottom step the door opened, he took his boots off slowly. He was exhausted, it was shown all over his features. “Sho?” I called his name apprehensively. “Baby? What are you doing awake?” He asked calmly, now standing back up moving to take his suit off. “Uhm, I have something to tell you.”  the nerves returned in full force, holding the test in my hands. “Can’t this wait?” He asked, eyes meeting mine, the tears stung as I tried to keep them away. “Oh. I mean, it shouldn’t?” The statement came out as more of a question. He looked concerned. “Baby, what’s wrong?” his voice silky, it should bring comfort, it usually does, but nothing was calming the raging fear I felt. I handed him the test, looking at his face for any kind of emotion, there was nothing. He just stared at the test blankly. It was silent between us for almost five minutes before he said the words I was dreading. “So, you’re getting rid of it right?” His voice is monotone. My heart stops. “I thought we would talk about it.” My reply is meek.  Hand now resting on my belly as I thought of our baby. “There is nothing to talk about. I am still climbing the ranks for pro. You just signed a huge support design contract. We don’t have time for a baby.” His words reached my brain but not my heart.  He handed me back the test. “Let’s go to bed.” he mumbled walking to our room. I decided to go with him, knowing it would be the last time we slept together.

His face flinched at my words, the memory of that night plaguing my thoughts. I didn’t get rid of her, I couldn’t. “I’m sorry.” The words seem genuine, but I am so angry. “I know that you are, Todoroki.” I said more monotone than I wanted, but it gave the same effect. His face faltered, eyes went from mine to the floor. “I think we know each other well enough to be on a first name basis. You can always call me Shoto.” His reply was laced with sadness. 

Shoto’s POV:

“I should go.” her words ring through my ears. I feel like I have been hit by a truck. My chest is tight, thick with regret, heavy with a looming sadness. It has been 5 years since I have seen y/n. It feels like fate is cursing me. “Please don’t go.” I whimpered. Her expression changed and she stopped. “I have to pick up my child from daycare.” she spat. Fate really is cruel. I really was cruel that night. I should have been more open minded. I quickly scribbled my number down on a napkin I had from my lunch. “Please call me. I would like to try again and do better this time around.” I spoke, she hesitantly took the napkin from me, not saying a word and walking off. “Come on boss, we have to finish patrolling!” my sidekick appeared seemingly out of nowhere. “Yeah, let’s go.” I waved them off, preoccupied with everything else now going on in my little world.

Author's Note: This one was too long, tumblr didn't like it, but it's also posted on my A03. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/47759488/chapters/121393120

[astral--horrorshow]

Around-The-Clock Shadows

Platonic Yandere ROTTMNT x Reader

Info: This will be a full-length fic including multiple ROTTMNT characters, the main storyline revolves around the Mad Dogs

Fic Summary: You sure are likeable, aren't you?

《Directory》

Chapter 4: An Itty-Bitty Shock

Characters: Raph, Leo, Donnie, Mikey, Kendra, Jase, Jeremy

A/N: Apologies that this chapter is so short!! I was in a hurry to get last week's out on Thursday, so I had to hurry it along. This is all the stuff I wanted to add in chapter 3, plus a little extra. I promise next week's will be longer!

If you want to be added to a taglist, just say the word! If you want to draw fanart or make anything based off of this, I would be literally honored. Please don't be shy, I will love whatever you make! If you have any questions about the fic, feel free to ask!

TW: Kidnapping, Stalking, toxic relationships, emotional manipulation

I do not condone any of the behaviors found or done in this fic. This story is purely for entertainment purposes. If you or someone you know is being treated like this, please contact the authorities.

Chapter Summary: You process your situation, and the Purple Dragons begin to look for you

Word Count: 1045

☆~☆~☆

"Home?" A pit formed in your stomach, "What do you mean?"

"I'll handle this, Raph," Donatello said, stepping between the oldest brother and you. Raph shot him an annoyed look, "I'm the oldest, I can handle it!" The two turtles squabbled amoung themselves, with Mikey gazing upon with a concerned look on his face. Just as it looked he was about to intervene, Leo suddenly pushed Donatello aside to be the one you faced, his eyes half-closed and all six of his fingers intertwined, “You see, we’ve decided that you’re our new sibling, and so we also decided to-”

“You kidnapped me?!”

Leo, and thus, the rest of the brothers, jumped at your reaction to his words, for it was the most emotion and noise you had shown and made since you had woken up. Leo grinned with a hint of nervousness, but only a hint. “‘Kidnap’ is such an ugly word, you know! We prefer the term 'surprise adoption!'" His grin spread, though you didn’t know what there was to smile about in the situation. “I want to go home. Let me go home.” A waver had entered your voice. The position you found yourself in was so overwhelming, you could barely force yourself to talk coherently, using all of your willpower to keep yourself from babbling.

Leo tilted his head to the side, slightly, his eyes half-closing again. “I thought you heard? This is your new home, silly head!” That sentence proved to be a mistake when your bottom lip started to quiver, and your eyes became slick with tears that threatened to spill down your cheeks. “And this is why we wanted to break it to them slowly, ‘Nardo. Now look at what you did.” Donatello gestured to you, the three brothers glaring at him. Leo looked offended at the negativity directed at him. “They’re fine! Just look at them!” He shot back as you started to sob in despair and fear.

"Oh, yes. They're the very image of contentedness right now," Don snarked at his older brother, his hands on his hips. "Both of you! Stop it!" Raph said, his voice raised, "Neither of you are helping!" You and the other brothers flinched at his loud voice and sharp tone, the agressiveness prompting you to cry even harder. The brothers stopped their squabbling to look concernedly at your tears, before reaching out to comfort you.

Donatello produced a box of tissues seemingly out of nowhere, which Mikey took from him and started to dry your tears. "There, there..." He cooed, "Nobody is mad at you. Everyone is just a little tense, because this is something new for all of us," He turned his head to his brothers, still wiping your face, "Right, guys?"

They all agreed with him in a hurry, some looking more unenthusiastic to do so than others. Mikey smiled, "See? Everything is alright," he unintentionally lied. Not knowing what else to do, you nodded.

☆~☆~☆

You wringed your hands together, staring at the floor from your spot on the edge of "your" bed as you wondered if you would be able to ever see the sun again. You didn't want to leave the room you woke up in just yet. Thank God a bathroom was attached. Who knows what other things waited for you out there? You had obviously never been there before, and the thought of getting lost in the underground bunker of a bunch of turtle creatures (Who had kidnapped you because they decided that you were their new sibling one day) made your throat go dry and your skin crawl.

Thuds and the sound of shouting from out in the hall snapped you from your reflections. The door suddenly burst open, with Leo nearly tripping over himself to scramble inside, the door slamming behind him. He threw himself on the bed next to you, holding out a paper plate with a slice of pizza sitting atop like a queen on her throne. "Here you go!" He cheerfully said, his hands outstretched. You took the plate gingerly, never taking your eyes off Leo. He grinned from ear to ear and flopped down on his back with his elbows supporting him from the shoulders up so he could still look at you, the back of his head leaning on one of the stuffed animals. "What's up?" He said, his grin widening to the point where it nearly reached his ears, "We got pizza to celebrate your arrival. We can't have a family dinner tonight, though. Sorry about that. The others are busy," He really didn't look sorry at all, with his mischevious smile.

"Go on, eat it. I promise it's not poisonous or anything like that." You held the slice up to your lips, your mouth flooding with saliva at the arouma of cheese and tomato. You had to stop yourself from wolfing the entire thing down after one bite, having not eaten since the night prior. Out of your sight, Leo had an extremely smug look on his face at your hunger.

☆~☆~☆

Kendra typed away at her laptop, Jeremy and Jase doing the same with theirs on either side of her. She scrolled down to the footage of the traffuc cameras up until the afternoon before, when they had given you a ride home. She was way beyond irritated. First, the tracker she had put on you got thrown in a washing machine, and then you hadn't shown up to school that day or answered any of her texts. She only saw the missing poster on her way home from school. Kendra knew it was unlikely for you to run away, at least without telling one of them. She would get to the bottom of this.

She and the boys reviewed the traffic footage for any sign of you. They had no luck until Jase gasped. "What, Jase? What did you find?" Kendra snatched his laptop and pushed him to the side, settling it down and her lap and pushing the rewind button. Jase got up and watched it with her, Jeremy also setting aside his laptop and viewing the footage. Their eyes widened as the feed cut out late in the night, and only reappeared 10 minutes later.



☆~☆~☆

A/N: Sorry if any writing is subpar!! I really had to rush to get this out on time, because I took a three-day long break because I was so burnt out after my writer's block.

Taglist <3:

@yanteetle @averagerottmntsimp @ssak-i @oleander-nin @whyiseveryonesodamnfinetho @writelikenobody

[snootlestheangel]

Cadere: To Fall

Super angsty SoapGhost one shot CW: light depictions of violence, implied sexual themes, Major Character Death

Ghost had fallen in love.

So desperately, madly in love.

He had fallen for John "Soap" MacTavish.

And he experienced bliss for once in his life. Bliss in the small touches that set his skin alight despite the layers of gear between their skin. Bliss in the stolen kisses and brief quiet moments.

Bliss in the way Johnny felt under his hands. Bliss in the way they fit together so perfectly, each carved to the other. Bliss in the way Johnny's whispered praises would send goosebumps crawling along his skin. Bliss in the soft feel of Johnny's lips as he kissed every inch of his body; reverent and delicate.

But right now, he had no time to linger on bliss.

Right now, he had to focus on getting back to the team alive and in one piece. He was separated over an hour ago, yet his uncanny ability to seemingly fade into the shadows gave him the advantage over the untrained hostiles he was facing. He moved slowly through the twisting halls of the facility, waiting patiently before striking each time, ensuring his back was covered each and every time.

Lethal and efficient were a deadly combination.

But it was slow progress, and he was running out of time to make it to exfil. So he was rushing, not paying attention to the details as he slashed his way through the building. He made it outside, towards the stone bridge he needed to cross. Exfil waited just on the other side.

He just needed to cross the bridge.

No more hostiles stood in his path, evidence his team had been providing cover fire of his only exit.

The trust he had placed in the team is unlike anything he's done before, and he feels a certain sense of satisfaction at being shown his trust was well-placed.

He just needed to cross the bridge and show their concern was well worth the resources.

Ghost was practically stumbling by the time he stepped foot on the old stone bridge. The adrenaline had started to wear off already, and the exhaustion was getting to him. It was a boring walk, one that allowed Ghost's mind to wander back to his place of bliss.

As if on cue, upon reaching the halfway point, Soap's face appeared along the tree line. Ghost stopped as their gazes met, and Soap's face instantly broke out into a grin so warm it brought a dead man back to life.

Oh how far Simon Riley had fallen for him.

The bridge violently shook as two small explosions rattled through the quiet air. The sudden wave of force knocked Ghost off his feet, effectively knocking the air out of him.

"Simon!" He heard the distant call, and he scrambled quickly to his feet. He felt he was walking on waves, the bridge shifting and collapsing in on itself.

The bloody thing was rigged.

Ghost began to ran the best he could, fighting against gravity as it pulls the bridge's stones towards the dry river below. Johnny was also running, running towards him, fear wild in his eyes.

Price was behind him, though. The captain knew.

And just as Ghost came close to the edge, the last stones of the bridge broke away, dragging him with them. He frantically swatted at the air, trying to make his hands meet Johnny's. But he was just out of reach.

Just out of reach of his bliss, his life and everything worthy in his miserable existence.

Price knew better than to let go of the strap on Soap's vest.

"SIMON!" The scream, hoarse and filled with something borderline inhuman, echoed around them. Echoed in Ghost's ears as he plummeted towards a painful end.

But Ghost closed his eyes as he fell, not willing to see fate.

After all, he had fallen for John "Soap" MacTavish.

[beansterpie]

ES21 japanese volumes part 3/??

<< part 1 < part 2 ||

HAHAHA guess who found a site with japanese scans?? (Also yes hello it's been close to.... half a year??? (fuck) since my last post-- a big part of that is because taking clear pics of panels/pages on my phone was a pain in the ass so I kept procrastinating lol)

Now lets get back into it!

We left off at the end of Sena's unwilling first morning practice, where we got to see just how fast he's able to run. We were then informed that their first match is happening the following day... while only having 3 players :')

oh the lengths one must take to subdue Cerberos....

Panel 2 -> HIRUMA: We need 8 people by tomorrow's match! We'll split up to gather them! Panel 3 -> KURITA: 8 people? SENA: I thought you said that American Football requires 11 people...

You'd think he might catch on to what's happening after all the 'top speed in the NFL!' fuss at the end of the last chapter.... but our boy is not smart, your honor.

But Hiruma (seemingly) relents, saying how they each have to find at least 3 people to help out their team by the end of the day. Whoever finds the least amount of people faces whatever penalty game that Hiruma comes up with, so uh, there's reason to fear.

Panel 1 -> Basketball club Panel 2 -> SENA: Alright, I'll start here...! Panel 3 -> imaginary SENA: How would you like to play in an American Football match? Panel 4 -> imaginary SENA: We'll prepare all of the equipment! All you have to bring is your fighting spirit!!

imagination vs reality....

Panel 1 -> SENA: Um... excuse me Panel 2 -> SENA: So... I was wondering if maybe I could get you guys to play in an American Football match for us... or something... Panel 4 -> JERSEY #16: Ahh... I'll pass. JERSEY #8: Yeah, not interested. SENA: I-is that so... Panel 5 -> SENA: Aahh-- it's no good. Why do I always....

Ah poor Sena. But all those years of timidness and cowardice aren't going to up and disappear overnight because then we wouldn't have a story. Also, an aside, but in these earlier chapters Sena has this little... verbal tick, I guess? where he ends his sentences (usually requests) with "なんて…" (na-nn-te), shown in panel 2. A different form of the word is often used at the end of a joke, meaning essentially "just kidding!", and this is like... an uncommitted, spineless little version of that. He's asking them if they would please consider playing in a match, and basically ending it with: "haha jk...." 😔

I translated it as "or something..." because he ISN'T joking, he just can't help but say it because he's that non-confrontational, and I thought that might be confusing without context? Or perhaps I'm just over-explaining, but alas.

Panel 1 -> KURITA: Wanna play in an American Football match!? Panel 2 -> JERSEY #16 & #8: No! Panel 4 -> SENA: No, it's not over yet! This isn't the only sports club! Panel 5 -> SENA: I'll go around to all of 'em--! Panel 6 -> HIRUMA: You're playing in a match for the American Football club!

I had to put in all three of their uh, pitches? to the basketball club because I love this little sequence lol. It's such a fun way to show the differences in how each character approaches a problem, and visually displays their body language so well. It's like the funniest version of the three billy goats gruff story

Is this the first official appearance of Hiruma's little black book? It's funny, it's dastardly, and it's just as much for the sake of cartoon violence as his guns are lol. (Seriously, some of the stuff he uses to blackmail people has me side eyeing Hiruma (and Inagaki) real hard rip. The fact that you're not supposed to take any of it seriously is it's saving grace.)

Panel 1 -> JERSEY #16: Uwah, again!? JERSEY #8: Will you give it a rest!! We said we're not gonna play!! Panel 2 -> HIRUMA: Hooo~ that defiant attitude.... I take it you two are first years? Panel 3 -> HIRUMA: Hhmmmm, so Satake-kun from year 1 class 2, and Yamaoka-kun from class 5, huh? Panel 4 -> HIRUMA: Satake-kun is-- well well! The true culprit behind the underwear thefts of the swimming club! And Yamaoka-kun-- what's this? He gives a kiss to his poster of Ai Kago every morning? Whoow, isn't this painful! SATAKE: Wha-- YAMAOKA: How do you-- Panel 5 -> HIRUMA: Now, I think I'll just spread the word!!! SATAKE: Waahh w-we'll play, we'll play! YAMAOKA: Please let us play in the American Football match!!

The severity of the dirt seems pretty skewed to me, but I guess to a teenage anime boy from the early 00's, general embarrassment is just as bad as sexually harrassing your schoolmates 🙃

But anyway, now we know exactly why Hiruma is so feared by the general student body (and faculty)! A real menace to society <3 Btw, at the time Ai Kago was a girl in the pop idol group Morning Musume.

After going to every other sports club in Deimon, Sena finally comes into some luck at the track and field club....

ISHIMARU: An American Football match? Yeah sure, I'll play!

Ishimaru.... you're such a good guy..... 😭

Panel 1 -> SENA: R-really!? ISHIMARU: Yeah, and y'know-- Hiruma's probably gathering the first years, right? Panel 2 -> ISHIMARU: So if I play with them, I'll get to know their physical abilities, and I can invite any of the promising ones to the track and field club. Panel 3 -> ISHIMARU: That's ok, isn't it? As a give and take. SENA: O-of course!! Panel 4 -> SENA: (Yay, that's one person!) Then I'll be seeing you tomorrow! Panel 5 -> ISHIMARU: Tomorrow!!? That's impossible! SENA: What--!!? Panel 6 -> ISHIMARU: I work part time for the local magazine delivery-- I have to deliver them all by noon tomorrow so it'll be tight. Sorry

Poor boy can't catch a break. And enjoy Ishimaru in his like, first and last serious arc for the rest of the series..... :') you deserved better my boy.....

Ishimaru's fairly casual attitude towards Hirma makes me so curious about what he's like in class though lol. I guess for people that Hiruma has no direct use for, they end up flying under the radar and don't have a strong opinion on him? Maybe to some students in Deimon, Hiruma is just 'that eccentric guy in my grade' lol. Strange thought.

But you know, at least Hiruma managed to get some people to help out! Wow, such charisma.

Panel 1 -> (from left to right on the chart -> ): Sena, Kurita, Hiruma Panel 2 -> SENA: Amazing!! So many, just by himself...

Panel 1 -> SENA: Hiiee!? Panel 2 -> KURITA: Hey.... I guess you're also at zero, huh.... Panel 3 -> KURITA: Even Hiruma stopped after 7 people.... and all the sports clubs have already gone home.... It's no good, we're not going to make it in time for the tournament.... Panel 5 -> SENA: I-I'm going to make another round!

Like, ok. So I haven't actually read that many sports manga (mainly because they tend to not hold my attention very long), but Eyeshield's opening chapters are so charming and cute and like... well set up that I always love re-reading it. It might ultimately be a classic coming of age/underdog story, but at this point Sena isn't even interested in playing the damn sport lol (in fact playing the sport is the thing he's got the most reservations about). It's just that he's made friends with Kurita and wants to help him (and Hiruma) towards this goal they're so passionate about, and also wants to feel like a part of something. Idk, it's really successful in fleshing out Sena's personality imo, and manages to make this extremely cowardly kid very endearing (which I think is kind of a rare thing in a shounen manga protag, not to mention a sports manga one).

BUT anyway, he spots Ishimaru doing deliveries and jumps over the fence to reach him.

SENA: Please let me gopher-- no, I mean-- please let me help you!

His heart is in the right place! When you've been a doormat your whole life, it takes a minute to move past it!!

Anyway, skipping ahead a few pages because I've already used too many images on this chapter lol (not me straight up posting half the pages of this chapter so far 😭) -- Sena helps Ishimaru deliver half of the magazines and so they manage to hand them all out that night. Since that frees Ishimaru up the following day, he agrees to play in the match-- which means Sena managed to get one person!

He returns to the club room and tells Kurita the good news, but that still leaves them with.... 10 people.

Panel 2 -> KURITA: We're short.... one person.... Panel 3 -> KURITA: We were so close.... Panels 5 & 6 -> Sounds of the crowd cheering

Panel 1 -> SENA: U-um! Panel 2 -> SENA: For the last person, if I... if I participate...

Whenever Sena thinks about potentially playing American Football in these early chapters, I've always liked that the things he focuses on is the sound of the crowd, the... kinship, maybe? of being on a team. There's probably an element of the glory that appeals to him, but it mostly seems to be the ambience and passion and unity that he's drawn to. As opposed to like, Monta later on who (initially, anyway) really just wants the fame and adoration of being a popular player lol (and good for him, the heart wants what it wants). But for Sena, as the protagonist, it helps me connect to his wants at this point in the story a lot more organically as opposed to if his desire had always been "I wanna be The Best Sportsman™!!!" But again, that's a me thing lol.

Of course Hiruma has to interrupt before Sena commits one way or another lol

Panel 1 -> HIRUMA: That fucking konbini!! Running out of sugarless gum!! Not even flies would chew on that nasty-ass sweet gum!! Panel 2 -> HIRUMA: Oh damn, I forgot to put them up halfway through.

Hiruma's comically short temper that vanishes between one panel and the next will always be funny to me lol. Explosively coming into the club room, ranting about unimportant bullshit while tossing soda at to his teammates (which is quite thoughtful of him actually) and then casually revealing that he's taken care of everything....

Sometimes when I'm feeling unmotivated, I think to myself "what would Hiruma do?" the answer is usually 'several illegal things', but I can at least try to emulate his proactiveness lol.

Panel 2 -> SENA & KURITA: WE DID IIITT Panel 3 -> HIRUMA: We didn't do anything!!! I'm the one who ended up doing it all, you useless idiots!! Actually, give back my cola!! I don't have a single drop of fluid to spare for you morons!! Wilt and die!

Well. No one ever claimed Hiruma was gracious.

That's (more or less) the end of chapter 3! Finally!! The chapter ends with another character room, this time for Hiruma. I'm also putting Kurita's here, which was at the end of chapter 2 but didn't manage to squeeze in.

Page 1 Kurita Ryoukan 2nd Year Deimon Devilbats #77 Power: ***** Speed: * Technique: ** [upper corner: "My refrigerator" bottom left: "Bookshelf-- bursting with American Football magazines" bottom center: "Weights over 100kg"] Page 2 Hiruma Youichi 2nd Year Deimon Devilbats #1 Power: ** Speed: ** Technique: *****

When I read this manga for the first time back in highschool, I was SO frustrated that it just showed the club room instead of Hiruma's bedroom. Ngl I still feel a little cheated, but I guess they had to maintain that gremlin mystique somehow 😔

(Also join me as I puzzle over where the fuck Kurita keeps his futon.... 🤔)

------------

I was going to cover the next chapter as well, but I think I'll just end this part here-- the next chapter is more or less when the first match starts, so I figure I'll do those together! Honestly this chunk of the story didn't have any egregious translation errors in the fanscans so there wasn't too much to comment on that front lol. Enjoy my ramblings about how much I like these early chapters, they're so charming!

[actualbird]

hiya zak!!! it's 2am and i can't stop thinking about it- but if you had the chance to write how luke gets cured of his illness in canon, how would you do it? (eg. via "surgery, but there's risks"/"oh we found a magical anecdote to your illness, yippee!...etc etc)

hiya "anon" hehe >:3c!!!! first off, thank you for this ask cuz it's super interesting. my answer to this is rather specific and looks bad at first but Trust Me and hear me out on this alright

if i had the chance to write how luke gets cured, i wouldnt make him 100% cured. medically (and this is very vague because im not a doctor), i would make it so that maybe new medication or a new treatment plan is found that makes his illness no longer terminal, but chronic. the new treatment has to be taken regularly as maintenance, along with regular diagnostic tests like EEGs and regular check ups with aaron. the new treatment would also come with a lot of side effects like mood swings, fatigue, nausea, etc.

basically: i dont want him to be cured, but i obviously dont want him to die. however, i want him to have to fight this for the rest of his long life.

it'll be an arduous process, one that never ends, but one he has to get through. and one he dedicates himself to do every day, because it's worth it, because it's worth life,

because he's worth life.

why do i want this? well, first off, it's because i'd love to see more chronic physical illness representation in fiction. it's not always clear cut with illnesses, and sometimes there Isnt a grand cure and it's more like an endless slog of maintenance

second off, i will repeat something i said in a previous ask i answered about luke's illness, but a sudden and 100% cure feels like a too-neat deus ex machina to me, narratively. his illness has been shown to be as Very lethal and Very painful and Very hard to treat, so for all of that to suddenly go away, well....the writing would feel a tad cheap to me if it were that easy.

and third off, because it'd fit well with the themes of luke's stories and luke's character

actually, let me go back to that previous ask i linked because im gonna copy paste a whole lot from it HAHA since my view hasnt changed since i wrote it. in that last ask i say:

in general with stories, i am less drawn to super neat resolutions and im more drawn to resolutions that are more like “and things werent perfect and they never will be, there will always be problems, but our characters will be okay and theyll keep getting better and better, and it’s in this push and pull of struggle and learning and progress and getting through where their happiness lies” ever since luke was a kid, even before he developed his condition, hes had the fear of being a burden to his loved ones. and when he does get his terminal condition, this fear is worsened and he starts to see his existence in other people’s lives as a whole as a burden of pain and grief that isnt worth the trouble. and…i dunno, i just like the idea of him continuing to live but also continuing to have these problems that still spark fear inside of him and still take so much work to manage every day. and out of habit, he braces himself for pain, not just for the kind his condition gives him but from Life because Surely, His Loved Ones Will Get Tired Of All Of This, Of Him and The Problems He Comes With, Right? but surprise surprise, they dont. because they care about him. because this should not and is not a dealbreaker for them continuing to care about him. aaron creates treatment thats more on the preventative maintenance meds angle so luke doesnt have to just wait for a pain episode to pop up and then dry swallow painkillers every time. it’s not infallible , but sometimes luke can have hours, even a whole a day sometimes where the pain hes bracing himself for doesnt come. mc always reminds luke to take his meds whenever luke gets too busy or caught up in a case. he worries at first that it’s an inconvenience to her for her to have to remember his routines for him just in case, but that worry becomes quieter as luke realizes she reminds him in the same tone as she says “good morning” or “have you had lunch yet? wanna join me?”, just this casual and loving thing thats now integrated into both their lives the team are always ready to help too in their own way. when luke gets a pain episode in hq, marius offers distraction in the form of idle chatter on (harmless) internal pax gossip while luke waits for his painkillers to dull down the stinging. when luke feels uncomfortable tingling crawling across his whole body while out with vyn, vyn subtly helps luke move from a crowded area to a quieter one where outside stimuli cant further overwhelm luke’s senses. when it’s a bad grip strength day and all luke wants to do is punch something and fuck his useless hands up even more, artem tells luke about custom silicone grips that exist for things like pens or knives or such and that they could look for some next time they go shopping. it is not perfect. but luke’s life, even with the pain, is still worth living. everybody is trying to help and eventually, luke learns how to start helping him self along with them too.

in summary: i think luke is a fighter. i do wish he had less battles to fight, but one battle that is important for him to fight is the fight to believe that he is worth living and worth joy in spite of it all

so if i had my way, i'd write him having to manage his illness for the rest of his life

and i'd also write him having a full and happy life while doing that anyway

thank you for the ask!! :'D

[kikiofthevast]

In planning Slay the Archivist I’ve been having a lot of Jon thoughts (below the cut because it got long)

Jon Sims is a character driven entirely by fear. His fear of spiders and trauma of his youth further isolates him from people, his fear of rejection and being known isolates him from his peers and Georgie, and his fear of the forces beyond isolates him from his coworkers (manifested in his short-fuse prickly skeptic persona).

Jon is a character who pushes people away before they can do it to him and cannot conceive that anyone can care about him.

Which is unfortunate, because his assistants do care about him!!! Not on an intimate level, but Jon and Tim at the very least are friends, and Jon respects Sasha!!!

Jon’s actual opinion of Martin in s1 is a bit cloudy, because it’s clear that Jon does not respect him or like him very much, but that mostly comes from the fact that Martin doesn’t do his job very well, or at least by the standards Jon expects based on his CV.

But on the other hand, Jon never expresses anything other than professional disdain, not necessarily personal disdain. Of course, it’s likely that Jon does truly hate Martin, but outside of the recordings in S1, Jon is significantly more generally relaxed (as shown in the tape about ostriches) and his professional academic persona is very much a mask that he puts on to alleviate his own nerves about the job.

That’s not to say Jon likes Martin very much in S1, but it says to me that he doesn’t outright hate him.

Then the worms happen.

Everything falls apart for Jon. His skeptic act isn’t keeping him safe, not like he thought it would, and Jane Prentiss is after him specifically.

Jon starts unraveling after the Prentiss attack.

Something is watching him. Someone killed Gertrude. He can’t trust anyone.

Most of his paranoia is Stranger-induced but it’s also equally a natural response. Of course, he takes it too far, and he neglects his relationships because he doesn’t think they mean anything to the people in question.

Jon is right to be paranoid, and his paranoia is validated by the fact that one of his assistants was replaced and Elias is passively manipulating him (and also killed Gertrude), but the issue is that stalking is a bridge too far.

He has a very strong connection to the Eye even early on because he needs to know everything and gain new knowledge especially about people.

Because Jon is bad at connecting with people, and he typically barely has the self-awareness to avoid sticking his foot in his mouth and he is NOT forthcoming about his trauma or struggles to any extent (we’ll come back to this) and therefore doesn’t really understand how relationships WORK.

So his breaks his slightly tenuous friendship with Tim, realizes that Martin is not as knowledgeable than he thought, and realizes that there’s a creature in his Archive that should not be there.

So he destroys the table, realizes that was also a mistake, gets chased, meets Leitner, and then is IMMEDIATELY framed for his murder.

So Jon is now on the run from the law, so he goes to the only person in his life he actually confided in to some degree, Georgie.

Georgie asks questions, but not many, and accepts that he won’t answer. She lets him stay with her and the Admiral and Jon tries not to get her involved, because he doesn’t want someone else to realize that he’s doomed everyone around him, and he doesn’t want Georgie to be doomed.

He talks to people, gets scars, tries to get away from Daisy, nearly dies to Daisy, learns that GEORGIE had an encounter and feels guilty that she gets involved, and then he gets kidnapped from Georgie’s house.

Nikola finds him and kidnaps him and he is there for a while. I don’t remember if the length of time is specified, but it’s a while, enough time for him to be missed.

Then Elias shows his true colors, Melanie and Basira are in the Archives, and Jon doesn’t know what to do.

He’s lost and doesn’t feel like he can trust anyone, and oh yeah, Tim hates his guts.

Jon goes to America, meets people, meets Gerry, burns Gerry’s page, goes to China, comes back to the Institute, and still has no idea what’s happening to him but he knows it’s bad, but feels good.

Because knowing puts him in control of a situation. Having that advantage alleviates some of his fear, and it gives him power.

Jon, who has not felt in control of anything since he picked up a Leitner as a child, craves that power.

And then there’s the Unknowing.

The Unknowing is a turning point for Jon, because arguably, the human Jonathan Sims dies in the explosion.

But his brain continues on, his consciousness continues on, and he exists in the dreams of people he watches fear and hurt over and over.

Martin spends time with him in the hospital, before he starts working in the Lonely, working to save his friends that aren’t functionally dead in a hospital bed, or already dead.

Oliver gives him a push to accept his Becoming, to wake up and live in his new existence.

And when he wakes up, everyone wishes he hadn’t.

Jon is functionally changed as a person. He wants to confide in people, wants to be someone people trust, and uh …

Yeah that’s not happening.

Elias may be in jail, but Melanie and Basira (and presumably also Martin, but it’s unclear) are still tied to the Archives due to Jon’s continuing life.

Jon is at a low point this season, and Melanie and Basira have complicated relationships with him.

Georgie has also accepted that Jon isn’t going to change, which is a shame for Jon, but well within her right as someone who has been trying to help Jon for years and never actually got through to him.

Melanie projects a lot of her blame onto Jon, when she can’t take it out on Elias. A lot of her rage is being amplified by the bullet in her leg, but the impromptu surgery doesn’t make Melanie any less wary of him.

And Jon pulls Daisy out of the Buried too, and the tapes become his anchor, his connection to the Archives and the Eye strong enough to pull him out.

The Eye is also strong enough to make him need live statements. Like Daisy needs to Hunt, Jon needs to Know.

It’s treated like an addiction in the show as much as it’s treated as a necessary thing, but the important thing is that Jon now needs to hurt people in order to survive.

The issue is that he likes it, he likes causing the fear and not experiencing it. He likes witnessing and knowing and archiving it, but he hates that he likes it because it means he’s not human.

(I personally think Jon can do whatever he wants forever but that’s just me)

Jon tries not to take live statements, but he cannot resist it forever. He knows so much but it’s never enough and he wants more.

(Mr. Spider always wants more.)

Jon also clings to the last bit of the normal past he has left in Martin, who he has learned to appreciate far too late for it to mean something to him, but even when Jon is in danger, he still goes for Martin, because Martin doesn’t deserve to get hurt.

They don’t know each other well beyond a surface level, but they are also the last thing that connects them both to the Normal, the Before.

They latch onto each other and clearly care about each other, but in S5 their relationship is far from ideal even though it’s the only thing keeping them both together.

They are in love, but they’re also missing a lot of development in their relationship.

(Arguably this makes it more realistic, but that’s a whole other post)

Causing the apocalypse weighs on Jon. He damns the world to horror and fear until the End and it’s not even his fault. Of course, it was preventable, but like many things in this show, it just didn’t happen that way.

Jon Knows the new world much better than the rest of the cast. He knows there’s no hope, that there’s only the perpetrators and the victims.

And he wants to be the one on top, over Jonah. He doesn’t tell anyone that, but based purely on his previous expressions of the apocalypse feeling right to him and the way his powers and knowledge make him feel, it stands to reason he would harbor that desire even if he wouldn’t express it.

And that’s why he inevitably kills Jonah and attempts to take his place, because if they’re going to continue living in this world, he wants to Know Everything and be in the Panopticon.

It’s selfish, but Jon does it anyway, because that’s what he wants. If the world is doomed, he wants to be king of it, if only to drink in the fear until the End took them all.

But he’s also grateful when Martin stabs him, on some level. He doesn’t want the Entities pulled into different worlds, but he also to some degree doesn’t want to go beyond his current state. Becoming on par with a god does scare him, to some degree.

And so Jon dies in Martin’s arms, and with love on his lips.

He’s a complicated man, one who cares but doesn’t ever know how to show it and is an insufferable asshole who doesn’t know when to stop.

Curiosity killed this cat, but satisfaction brought him back.