#Apologies for taking so long with the text version

[byebyassociation]

Cahara the Skank (Character analysis)

Tw: The topics of 1500s prostitution, violent rape and suicide ideation

Text version under cut:

Cahara as a protagonist

“Cahara of the South… He originates from the Eastern Sanctuaries. A bastard child left on his own at a very young age. Somehow this poor soul found his way to these dungeons…”

Cahara grew up under unfortunate circumstances, as he was abandoned in Jettiah he had to learn nothing in life came easy or freely

He had three choices to be a pickpocket, burglar, Or lead an honest life

But this choice means little past starting skill/item. No matter what Cahara becomes a mercenary.

“As you grew older you took part in various mercenary armies and learned the dirtiest tricks to stay alive. You were taken in by a notorious veteran highwayman and you joined his little band of criminals and ex-soldiers.”

Instead his first real life choice is if he will stay beside his first real allies or ditch them for his life.

They do not join him in the dungeons if they live

“During one of your many raids, your brigade got ambushed. The odds were seriously against you. You could have just abandoned your comrades and kept you life, or you could have fought to your last breath...”

He didn’t have to take this mission, however his mental narration states as if he does: shoving down fear for the money.

“Something is clearly not right about this mission and you have felt nausea since the the moment you agreed on the job. But you are short on silver and the reward is all that matters in the end.”

Really, he shoved his own feelings down for Celeste

"Celeste, you're still doing this job with the little one on the way and all?!"

Cahara is not opposed to Celeste’s sex work, instead he is opposed to the men who want her due to her pregnancy

"If anything, I feel like there're more gentlemen folks asking for my services these days."

"This isn't right. I don't like it."

"Girl's gotta eat and now I got the little one to feed as well”

"I'm a man. I should take care of you two."

“I’m leaving tomorrow if— no when I get back things will change. You just wait and see!"

He doesn’t tell her what to do, only stating what he himself can do for her

Sadly, he either already had a sense this could be his end or didn’t even let himself think this would be the last time he spoke to or saw Celeste in the flesh

"Just promise you do come back."

He knocked her up in a brothel and contracted syphilis.

“You also get an itch in your groin area...”

Unfortunately a sign of the sorts of people who’d pay for her services without care for her body.

After at least speaking with Celeste he fully made up his mind. He wouldn’t come back without the cash.

“But didn’t he like it?”

Cahara as an NPC

"Oh hey."

"You got me out of here!"

Upon meeting Cahara in the prisons of the dungeons, he is quick to join your party after a short conversation

[You ask him] “What are you doing here?"

[He answers] "Wwell...”

“I do have a mission here, but let's save that story for another day, yeah?"

Regardless of your questioning, he speaks quite anxiously. Stuttering or going silent in an out of character sequence

[You ask him] "Why were you imprisoned here?"

[He answers] "I was caught by one of those malformed prison guards”

“Your conversation took an awkward turn for some reason...”

Prison guards are shown to be sexually violent to those they have access to. Both in their dialogue, their attacks and how defeat by them causes incurable hemorrhaging from sexual injuries.

Cahara does not show signs of this hemorrhaging, however D’arce doesn’t have a concussion either despite nearly having her skull caved in. Both lack status effects for the sake of balance.

When Cahara robs you he has a preference for stealing healing items

This may be his attempt to patch himself up as there is no canon cure for internal bleeding.

[D’arce’s prison dialogue says] "Le'garde... You were supposed to be here…”

When in the prisons most characters bring up your common mission. D’arce, Ragnvaldr and even Enki bring this point up

Cahara breaks this formula

[Cahara’s prison dialogue says] "Tell me... Did the guards ever capture you here?"

He wants to know if he was the only one. He wants to know if there was anything he could’ve done. He’s seeking solidarity. He’s seeking kinship

"Don't let the dungeon have it's way with you. Bye."

"Talk about traumatizing events... Sheesh…”

"This place is starting to get into my head...”

Does this sound like the words of someone unaffected by the dungeons? He is nonchalant but he is not well. In fact that last line is repeated 11 times. He has 18 unique dialogue lines in party talks, none of his dialogue or anyone else’s appears nearly as many times repeatedly.

He’s gone into shutdown, in the upper areas and especially the prisons and areas around it he just cannot hold up. Mentally he cannot juggle his need to keep moving forward and process what happened. 

This leaves his mind to go entirely unfiltered when he is in a space where he can think. Suicide ideation and turning to sex for comfort being his two major callings in this state. Sometimes even mashing together through his willingness to marry a marriage, a very literally dangerous form of sex.

"Hahaha, this is too good"

"Dying down here is most likely the easiest way to go!"

'I'm starting to feel like death would be the easiest option."

“Cahara seems really enthusiastic.”

"Just don't destroy my anus with those big muscles of yours, okay?"

"Ehh, well that's a freaky suggestion, but fine."

[goblincow]

#MÖRKTOBER – 01/31

Day one of WAIL OF THE ROT KING, an adventure playset for Mörk Borg.

["ai" art theft is not the same as collage]

:// Welcome to GREEN MILK, the GOBLINCOW newsletter and this very special 8-part series entitled SAVE VS DESPAIR, a holistic retrospective of the cultural object that is Mörk Borg that will be publishing every 4 days over the course of October.

A release calendar, for the sickos among us (thank you kindly):

GREEN MILK | #007 | 7:1 — What is Mörk Borg? (01/10)

GREEN MILK | #007 | 7:2 — Interlude I of II — Rules Light, Vibes Heavy (05/10)

GREEN MILK | #007 | 7:3 — Cultivating Mörk Borg (09/10)

GREEN MILK | #007 | 7:4 — Digging Deep in Graves Left Wanting (13/10)

GREEN MILK | #007 | 7:5 — The Vigorous Undeath of Mörk Borg (17/10)

GREEN MILK | #007 | 7:6 — Interlude II of II — A Funeral Playlist for the End of the World (21/10)

GREEN MILK | #007 | 7:7 — Life Locked and Failing in a Dark Fort (25/10)

GREEN MILK | #007 | ?:? — Burn the Book (29/10)

GREEN MILK | #008 | Save vs Despair — Mörk Borg: a Holistic Retrospective (02/11)

[requiemforthepoets]

you say good morning when its midnight ⟢ OP81 (part 5)

main masterlist | fic playlist | series masterlist

PAIRINGS: oscar piastri x female!reader

SUMMARY: you and oscar grew up together, and despite being neighbors and best friends with her sister, hattie, you never really talked or had a conversation with him. until one day, where he randomly texted you out of nowhere.

REMINDERS: this is purely fiction, the way how the character is portrayed in my story does not reflect the person that is portraying my character in real life. always separate fiction from reality, and do not repost or copy my work in any way.

WARNINGS: use of y/n, (a little) slow burn, humor, fluff, inaccurate information, no consistent face claims, all photos are from pinterest, weird, awkward, unhinge, reader is a little bit ball of a mess, long distance relationships, and minor typographical errors.

WORD COUNT: 555

AUTHOR'S NOTE: part 5! sorry if the update took a little long, i was away for a vacation. but i'm now back, and i'll try to update this series as much as i can. also, this series will be my primary focus for the meantime. i would like to apologize if this is a bit rushed, indecided not to some parts since i wanna focus on the plot, but i hope you'll enjoy this one!

𓆉𓆝𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓇼

It was four days later when the front desk called up to your apartment at Kent Ridge Hill Residences, letting you know that there’s an express package that had arrived for you. Couriers weren't allowed to go up to the units, so you had to head down to the lobby to collect the package yourself.

You linked in confusion, slipping on your slippers as you mumbled a soft, “I didn't order anything.”

You certainly haven't ordered anything. Not even a midnight retail therapy binge your forgot about. Still, you took the lift down and approached the reception desk, signing of the delivery. The box was not heavy, but it was neat, its brown cardboard edges sealed perfectly with a transparent tape that has the “fragile” word printed on the tape, and your name printed clearly on the shipping label. It wasn't large, nust enough to cradle in both arms comfortably.

You carried the box back to up to your apartment, the elevator ride feeling longer than usual. Once you reach your apartment, you quickly went in and locked the door. You sat cross-legged on the carpeted floor of your living room, scissors in hand. You stared at the package for a good minute like it might explain itself if you waited long enough, and then you began carefully slicing through the tape until the flaps peeled back.

As always, your curiosity won out.

You opened the box with care, like it might contain something so fragile. Inside, nestled in a bed of brown paper, were four things: a fridge magnet in the shape of Mt. Fuji that has the word "JAPAN” lettering under it, a tiny sakura petals swaying in a snow globe dome, a frog mug that is oddly shaped like a tiny pitcher, curved and handmade-looking—like it was plucked off the shelf of a sleepy Kyoto ceramics shop, and finally, a delicate matcha tea set—complete with a bamboo whisk, ceramic bowl, and a tin of fragrant powder so green that it could’ve only have come from somewhere special.

You felt your hear skipped a little in your chest. You definitely knew who it was from before you can even see the the note that was tucked neatly beneath the matcha set. But still, your fingers trembled slightly as you opened the small card, written in careful handwriting:

< I didn't buy you a postcard. I figured that’s somethinf you should do yourself, someday, when you’re finally there. I didn't want to take that moment away from you, but I thought I’d help you get started on the fridge magnet collection. Oh, the frog thing was just a spur of the moment thing, it reminded me of you and it looked like it should belong with you. - podium boi >

You read the note not only once, not twice, but three times. You couldn't help it and bit you lip, cheeks burning. The smile that grew on your face didn't stop for a long while. You tucked the note safely on your journaling notebook, then grabbed the fridge magnet and stood in front of your fridge, and with a soft click on the surface, you pressed the magnet into place. There was a quiet warmth blooming in your chest that you didn't quite know what to name just yet.

Postcard-less, for now. But not empty, not anymore.

𓆉𓆝𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓇼

yn.jpg posted to their story!

liked by hattiepiastri, yourmom, your brother, and 13 others

𓆉𓆝𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓇼

𓆉𓆝𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓇼

𓆉𓆝𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓇼

𓆉𓆝𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓇼

taglist: @uuoozzii , @freyathehuntress , @littlemisskavities , @elieanana , @rexit-mo , @imagine-it-was-us , @satorinnie , @pessismisticpotato , @milkysoop , @random-movie , @supersanelyromantic , @greantii , @chirpchirp69 , @purplephantomwolf , @mimisweetz , @frogiemushr0om , @angxedxtz , @hevzo8 , @pandora108 , @ms-darcy23 , @sluttybitch , @proudshinsoukinnie , @pinklemonade34 , @gemi-boi , @elizamoe133 , @sideboobrry11 , @mrrayjay , @curlylando , @soleilgrec , @nothingjustaninchidentt , @suns3treading , @dramallama9 , @1-queenofpotatoes-1 , @suibianupyourass , @armystay89 , @verstappen-leclerc-inchident , @landossainz , @martygraciesversion381 , @larkkyoris , @iloveotters11 , @isagrace22 , @bagelsbitch , @gigigreens , @wolfbc97 , @esw1012 , @raesblues , @mashmashi , @chxseversion , @fairyjinn , @hoseokjin194 , @ihaveitprinteddout , @henryspersonalver , @fctnllvrs , @pinkdeadtopia , @noimnotmae , @henna006 , @quenanababy , @formulaal , @mits-vi , @urmomsgirlfriend1 , @yeahimcrying , @ardentsnowfall , @teamnovalak , @mmsimp

[aritsukemo]

Been thinking about..

Sal's partner being obsessed with his voice in every way. The raspiness, the depth and how well his tone of voice mixes with it, how he pronounces words—everything. So, once a day, they request he tell them about his day in almost concerning detail just to hear his voice for an extended period of time. ( It takes him months to figure out why you saw such lengthy talks as such a necessity )

Sanemi's partner absolutely not believing it when people tell them about how cruel and harsh he is because of how differently he treats them in comparison. Who only knows him as a man who only speaks to them in gentle whispers, never lets them do any heavy lifting when he's around, massages them despite the fact that he's the one constantly going out and exerting himself to slay demons ( and all because they simply mentioned in passing that their toe was hurting from standing too long or something ), spoils them, and brings them gifts after almost every mission as an apology for being away for so long and possibly giving them a scare.

Gaara's arranged fiancé being completely and utterly intimidated by him to the point that they constantly avoid him. Poor boy, of course, knows no way of fixing this and ultimately goes to Kankuro for advice—who suggests he starts by breaking the ice over a nice dinner—and Gaara, despite having zero experience in the kitchen, opts to take said advice and run with it. His fiancé comes home after a long day of hiding to find the kitchen a complete mess and Gaara standing in the middle of it—covered head to toe in his many earlier failures—with his lackluster dish in hand and their heart absolutely melts at the sight.

Chifuyu, who scares Takemichi half to death with nonstop text telling him to come over his house asap. His best friend, thinking the worse, rushes over only to be asked if you'd find it corny if he attempted to match with you for your date tonight.

Nagisa, who was nervous about meeting you for a date after cutting his hair. Who feared his worst fears were right all along and that you only loved that version of him that his mother spent years crafting against his will..only to find out that you were in the same boat; had also cut your hair and feared his reaction to your new look. It made him feel silly for blowing such a simple thing up in his head.

Dividers were made by me, pictures used are from Pinterest, post formatting is inspired by @xxsabitoxx

[ryuucam]

C U GIRL!

⋆｡𖦹°‧ desperate men as exes who want u back ^_^ including toji && nanami

contains open ending (me personally i’d fold) (don’t do this irl), suggestive, drinking (toji) emotional unavailability, poor communication, brief non sexual nudity (nanami) you’re the one breaking up with them!!

notes everybody say thank u to my ex bc he wont stop dming me on ig and inspired me to do this (leave me alone)

TOJI FUSHIGURO

breaking up with him was not an easy choice. not because you were in a long term relationship - it was more like occasional hook ups and stay at home dates - but because toji can get clingy, angry, irrational. you’re not afraid of him, but alas, he is a bomb waiting to explode, and you really don’t want to tick him off. when you do break up with him, you do it over text, immediately blocking his number after. you keep telling yourself it’s the best choice. he’s no good for you, and you’re just protecting your peace. you don’t hear from him again, and in a few weeks you already put this all behind you.

toji is devastated. he wants to scream (he did that), to punch a hole in the wall out of sheer frustration and anger (he did that, too) - he’s not angry at you though, of course not. how could he? you’re so sweet, always caring for him, despite him only ever seeing you for occasional sex and cheap beer. he should’ve seen it coming: you deserve better than this. so really, toji can’t bring himself to hate you. instead, he drinks himself half to death, much to shiu’s dismain, spending most of his time cooped up in a small bar, scrolling through the blurry, messy pics of you on his phone.

while you’re healing (you’re not: you miss him just as much, but your pride is too big to handle), toji downs beer after beer, hoping to numb whatever feelings he still has for you (shame: he’s ashamed of himself. that’s why he hasn’t shaven his stubble, hasn’t trimmed his hair, hasn’t taken up any more jobs). a month, maybe two, after your break up, shiu can’t take it anymore. he’s losing clients, and he sure as hell isn’t going to be babysitting a grown man any longer. so, he shows up to toji’s small apartment (he isn’t used to staying there. your place is much comfier), and gives him a pep talk, telling him to just get his shit together, for fuck’s sake, toji just lays on his couch, barely registering his friend’s words, but he really is sick of moping around, doing nothing. something awakens in him (maybe it’s just a sense of responsibility, ever heard of that?), motivating him to clean himself up, look for his last 20, 30 bucks and getting out of the house for what feels like the first time in ages.

meanwhile, you’re at home, unaware that you’re mirroring toji’s behavior. sprawled on your couch, scrolling through your past texts and photos, chewing on your lower lip. this is all for the best, you remind yourself. so why are you sobbing your eyes out over a man who hasn’t even reached out to you? sure, you’ve blocked him, but it’s not like you would’ve minded seeing him under your balcony, asking for an explanation. it is toji you’re talking about, though. you should’ve never lead him on like that, maybe you wouldn’t have gotten so hurt over a bare-minimum kind of dude.

your train of thought gets interrupted by the ring of your doorbell. you groggily get up - it’s probably just a delivery guy. you don’t bother fixing up your appearance in the mirror (you’d just be met with a more hollow version of you, hair messy and eyes swollen). when you open the door, however, you’re met with toji’s sturdy chest standing right in your face. wait, toji? you look up, only to find his grey eyes staring right back at you, a frown on his face. he’s holding a bouquet of tulips (by the looks of it, way out of his budget), and he can’t seem to still himself.

“‘m sorry.” his voice breaks the silence. “for not comin’ here sooner. and for treatin’ you like shit.”

it’s not much, but this is the first time you’ve ever heard toji mutter an apology - a sincere one at that. your heartstrings are tugging at your chest, screaming at you to do something. you can’t do anything, vision blurred with tears you barely notice. toji is still: too afraid to move, too afraid to scare you off again. he doesn’t have to move though, because you throw yourself in his arms a few seconds later.

“you’re an asshole.” “i know, ya don’t have to forgive me, i-“ “leave me alone for now.”

so toji leaves, and comes back the day after, a new bouquet in hand. you kick him out again, and he shows up again. relentlessly. he knows he looks like an idiot, but he’s willing to stay as one if it means getting to see you. how longer can you stay mad at him?

NANAMI KENTO

after a year or so of dating nanami, he started getting comfortable with you - which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, given that he’s rather stiff most of the time, but makes him go back to his usual ways. he doesn’t hurry to get back home, doesn’t stop to get you “just because” flowers and gifts, doesn’t cuddle up with you on the couch anymore. he’s irritable, closed off, but maybe that’s just how he truly is. of course, he never raises his voice at you, but he never stops for idle conversations and such. so, after countless nights spent crying in your friend’s arms, you decide to take her advice, and just break up with him.

you do it after he’s had a long week at work, after he came back home at midnight again, barely caring enough to send you a quick text of notice (he doesn’t see anything wrong with this: you should’ve known his habits by now). you’re waiting on the couch, legs crossed and fidgeting with your hands. he takes off his shoes (he doesn’t even call out for you anymore), and makes his way in the living room. nanami asks you why you’re still up (he still cares about you), and you just look at him. “i want to break up”. he doesn’t fight - how could he?, and he just nods. he sleeps in the guest room, cold and empty, while you toss and turn in the main bedroom.

by the next day, you’re gone, and so is all the warmth left in your shared home. nanami keeps showing up at work in pristine condition, suit ironed to perfection and a neat lunchbox prepared, working full hours almost every day of the week. on his days off, when yaga literally kicks him out of the school, he doesn’t know what to do. nanami sits at the dinner table in his kitchen, arms crossed and staring into the void, not knowing what to do. a few months ago, he’d spend his days off at home with you, watching movie after movie, with you in his arms kissing him all over his face, room filled with giggles and hushed “i love you”s.

it’s over now though, and nanami isn’t a man too keen on reminiscing his past. maybe it’s time to change his habits. he knows they’re the reason you left him, and he’s very well aware that he isn’t perfect. he sighs, tangling his hands in his hair (just a few weeks ago, you’d do the same thing when you showered together. saving water, you said, but he knew better: he still humored you). his phone lights up, and he jolts out of his seat to grab it, even if the rational part of him knows you won’t do that. you have no reason to do so. he’s right, of course, but the way the threw himself at his phone made him hyper aware of how pathetic he truly is.

meanwhile, you’re in your old apartment, tearing the whole place apart. it’s a saturday evening (nanami and you used to go out for dinner on saturdays), and you’ve been waiting the whole week to do a self care night. all your products are sitting patiently on your bathroom sink, all except for that damn clay mask you bought yourself a few months ago, used once, and then forgot about it. after emptying all of your cupboards, drawers, pouches, it’s still nowhere to be found. suddenly, you feel an imaginary light bulb lightning up. you can’t actually have left that at kento’s place (your old home), right? when you left, you triple checked everywhere for your belongings. but still, you’re not going to waste money on an overpriced face mask. so you swallow your pride and drive over to his house.

it’s not like he’ll tell you no (he didn’t say that even when you broke up with him). you knock on his front door, suddenly feeling embarrassed about being here. when nanami opens the door, he feels like fainting (did he manifest you? no, he doesn’t believe in those things). “oh, hi”, you both say at the same time. your eyes are wide open, and he feels his heart rate quickening by the second. as you mutter about the reason of your visit, you can’t help but notice your face heating up, and the way he’s just so docile, so attentive while he accompanies you to the bathroom to look for.. well, whatever’s that you need. you don’t remember.

when you’re about to leave, nanami speaks up. “i’m sorry for spending so much time at the office. i know it’s my fault for the break up. but i can’t deny that i still love you. please, let me try to win you back.”

you turn around, taking in how soft his expression looks, how deep his eye bags run, how in love he looks. will you let him back in your heart? he swears he’s a changed man.

[losergames]

Chop Shop is strictly 18+ for language, themes, and potential explicit content. 

🔗 - Game Intro | Bug Report | Ko-Fi

Episode Four is now available! (+ 59,000) - PLAY HERE

Debrief after your meeting with Inez.

Steal... or don't!

Yvonne has a secret.

2 more achievements.

And more!

This update comes with a patch (Version 1.2.3) For this update you will need to start a NEW SAVE. An updated inventory macro has been implemented and is not compatible with old saves. I really wish you didn't have to but it's what's best for the game and its longevity!

Patch notes + author notes are under the cut. If preferred, you can access them in game in the start menu.

STORY

PROLOGUE:

General edits and fixes.

More vague, as to not elicit any emotional connection to the crew for continuity.

EPISODE 01:

Added a new set of personality building choices when meeting KJ, Jonno, Natasha and Aiden at the bar.

EPISODE 02:

Tweaked the conversation with Dilani in the closing scene to reflect more on the situation. Added some more fearful dialogue and flavour text.

Other general edits and fixes.

EPISODE 03:

Fixed gaps and spacing issues.

Minor phrasing and sentence structure changes.

Grammar and typo fixes.

UI + TECHNICAL

SETTINGS:

Changing the font size now only applies to the game text in the passages.

Added descriptions to the toggleable settings.

UI:

The background now changes colour dependent on what theme you are using, instead of the default black.

INVENTORY:

The inventory macro has been updated! Previously V2, now V3 of the ChapelR Simple Inventory Macro.

CREATE A SAVE

Modified the randomise PC choice, setting pronouns in 'sets' instead of randomising each pronoun separately.

GAMEPLAY MODE

Players can now choose a gameplay mode when starting a new save: Regular or Challenge.

Challenge mode disables the back button, disallowing players to return to the previous passage. Players cannot redo dice rolls or try out different choices for desired outcomes.

Challenge mode is not available in Create A Save. All CAS made saves default to regular mode.

AN: hello hello! it has been a while -- episode 04 is finally here!

this ep was a long one to get through but we finally made it out of the fog. i found that i wrote a bunch of stuff that just... didn't fit? but is hopefully going to be used later down the line, so it's cool i've got shells of scenes for later.

i can't find any game breaking bugs myself and my amazing beta testers have scanned through as many possible variants as they can! of course, if there is anything funky, broken, or maybe not triggering correctly, please submit a bug report!

again i will say that you will need to start a NEW SAVE for this update. unfortunately the updated inventory macro is not compatible with previous saves. i really didn't want this to be a thing when updating chop shop but it is unfortunately just the way for this update - apologies!! i know it's super annoying when games do this but chop shop is still a wip so there will always be some teething problems along the way.

as i look through my notes, we have now completed act 1 of my outline (AAAAHH) so soooo exciting. finally pc can stop wringing their hands about being bad and actually //start// being bad.

if you've made it this far -- hello and thank you! i'm so happy we're at the point where PC is making some real decisions, taking another step into their life of crime.

happy update day and happy reading!! thank you so much for the continued support and patience!!! i hope you enjoy the new episode! - becky :-) <3

[minus-plus-zer0]

"And They Were Roommates" University Version Headcanons

Bakugou would rather die than live in a frat house, so he looked around his housing options for university and eventually settled upon living with you.

Immediately, he knew that this was going to be a rough time. You were cute like he’d never seen before, and you were so affectionate and sweet and NOSY that he found it difficult to ignore you when you’re constantly offering to help with the housework or listen to how his day went or whatever.

He really adores you, you’re better than any roommate he’s heard about on the market. But he can’t let you know it in case you don’t feel the same, and that makes living with you even harder.

However, he wouldn’t want to move out. He enjoys being with you and seeing you work hard for your grades.

And he knows you’d be sad if he left. For whatever reason, you seem attached to him as well despite your opposite personalities.

It doesn't really cross his mind that you might like him back...

He wants you to want him, but the way you talk about the fellow students at school make him doubt your love.

Among the ground rules that were already established, you both agreed not to bring anyone over to sleep with. He was surprised you agreed, because if you did want to do the deed then where the hell would you do it if not at home? Actually, he didn’t really want to think about it.

But you kept your promise and now he doesn't really know what your love life is like. He's afraid to ask, so he acts like it doesn't matter.

At home you like to cook together or cook for each other, but he makes way too much spicy food. You've built a tolerance to it based on how often you've had to eat it.

You also don't always have a lot of privacy. Sometimes you want to call Ashido on the phone and talk about your feelings for Bakugou with her, but Bakugou is right there in the other room and you KNOW he'd hear.

Since you guys share classes at your university, you two end up going over your lessons together in one of your bedrooms, or even in the living room!

You're so happy to have a friend to go over your work with you. But sometimes you get different answers to your problems and you end up arguing over it. All in good fun, of course. Still, you two can get pretty competitive over your grades...

Your professors aren't always great, so Bakugou gets into fights with whoever tries to give you a bad grade. It makes you so embarrassed, but you can't scold Bakugou for wanting to support you.

And whenever you get the chance, you usually end up being each other's partner during projects. If you need more members, you often take up the Bakusquad or even people from Deku's friend group. Bakugou doesn't like that.

You end up visiting their dorms and houses sometimes when you get the chance and you even go to a few of their parties. Kirishima throws great ragers with his frat buddies (but he doesn't fit the frat stereotype, he respects women!). However, Bakugou usually stays at home and lets you go alone, as long as he knows you're safe.

Sometimes he goes to parties, but only to take you home while you're drunk out of your mind. The next morning you're always afraid you accidentally babbled out your love to him during your drunken sessions. But you haven't made that mistake yet, instead Bakugou just recounts to you all the weird shit you said and did, such as telling him scientific details about every breed of dog.

One time you ended up accidentally sleeping at Jirou's dorm room without telling Bakugou and he got insanely worried thinking something happened to you. Jirou saw your phone buzzing and managed to text Kirishima to tell Bakugou you were fine. Jirou even sent a picture of you to boot. You ended up apologizing to Bakugou the next day, who was in equal parts both angry and concerned over your well-being. He's not controlling so you don't always have to tell him where you are, just at night at least.

After befriending Jirou, you ended up starting a band together and managed to get Bakugou and others to join. You've had a few performances at school, with one of them live on campus.

It was really hard to train for that performance, considering that you and Bakugou never agree on what songs to play. You wanted love songs, he wanted none of that. But you sat on his lap and crooned the lyrics to him, and he just couldn't say no.

Bakugou has also invited you to some of his games since he's an athlete at your university. He was pretty disappointed you’d never heard of his feats on the field before, especially considering he's regarded as the star of the team. They've reported about him in the school newspaper before too! But he doesn't give them the interviews they want.

You want to show your support so you go to his next game. Seeing you in the stands cheering for him made him go wild on the field. Nobody could stop him now.

He really likes seeing you in a cheerleader's uniform that you tried on just for him that day. He's not into cheerleaders just in general, but it makes his heart swell knowing you're supporting him, above all else.

You also like sneaking out together at night to wander around the university. You look for hidden secrets left by other students, try and see if any doors are unlocked, observe the lovely raccoons running around (if any), and have a good time. The campus is very spooky around nighttime, but you have each other if anything goes wrong. You won't let each other get hurt.

Sometimes his parents visit your house, especially when holidays are coming up or if Bakugou needs something delivered from home. They like checking out what you've done with the place and how you've decorated your temporary home with Bakugou. They're very curious about how your relationship is progressing.

You tell them it's going great. Bakugou looks at you like you're his whole world. He feels very cocky knowing that he snagged such a great person in his life. But it's not really ever enough. He wants to be more than just friends.

Once your time at university is finished, he'll likely find a nice apartment more close to wherever his new workplace is and then he'll ask you to move in, maybe a little bit more permanently.

[yapithoughts]

You grew up in a house that was full—but never warm. Where the sound of television drowned out the sound of your crying. Where the bare minimum was met: food, allowance, shelter—but not affection, not care. At two years old, you learned the silence of being unseen.

No one checked on you when you cried. No one clapped when you topped the class. No one panicked when you scraped your knee or came home from school with heavy eyes. No one showed up to parent-teacher meetings or recognition days. You existed, but you were never truly noticed.

They gave you what you needed to survive—but not what you needed to feel loved. And you never asked for material things. You just wanted someone to sit beside you and say, ‘I’m proud of you.’ Or ‘Tell me what’s wrong.’ You just wanted someone to care.

So, you learned to protect yourself. You built walls out of independence and numbness. You grew into a version of yourself that never asked for help, never expected anyone to stay.

Then came college. A new beginning, but you walked through it the same way you always had: guarded, withdrawn, alone.

Until he appeared.

White-haired. Blue-eyed. A little too loud, a little too kind. The kind of boy who radiated light and warmth in all directions, even when you tried to look away. He sat beside you despite your headphones, despite the signal you gave off that said, ‘Leave me alone.’ He didn’t take the hint—but he wasn’t pushy either. He just… stayed.

Eventually, something shifted.

You became seatmates, groupmates, quiet companions. You ate together in the classroom instead of braving the noise of the cafeteria. He always adjusted to you—not out of obligation, but out of a quiet desire to understand. To be near you.

Then, one day, he confessed.

He liked you. Maybe even love you.

You froze. You had never been in love. You had never even been loved properly. So you hesitated—scared, uncertain, unsure if you were even capable of returning something so pure.

But he was patient. So patient.

You said yes, eventually.

And he gave you more than patience. He gave you a version of love you had never known. He remembered small things you said in passing. He read your silences like they were whole paragraphs. He never asked you to talk, but when you did, he listened like every word mattered.

He saw past your coldness, your detachment, your habits of disappearing when it got too much. And he stayed.

Still… that voice in your head never left.

‘How long until he realizes you’re too much? Too distant? Too broken?’

You wanted to be better for him, but life never gave you space to rest. You were always exhausted. Sometimes you forgot to reply to his messages—not because you didn’t care, but because you barely had energy to exist.

And sometimes you saw his messages. You stared at the screen and felt your chest ache because you wanted to reply—but the weight of everything stopped you.

The guilt hit you in waves.

‘Am I becoming like them? Am I making him feel invisible? Am I hurting the only person who truly stayed?’

You didn’t understand why you were like this. You just knew it was happening, and it terrified you.

Then came summer vacation.

You thought the break would help. But instead, everything crashed.

You were drained. Emotionally numb. Buried under school expectations, parental pressure, and the weight of trying to be okay. You disappeared—not intentionally, but fully. You stopped texting. Stopped updating him. One week passed. Your phone buzzed over and over, but the thought of responding felt too overwhelming.

Then—a knock.

You didn’t move for 20 seconds. Just stared at the ceiling, eyes heavy. Then, slowly, you rose from bed and opened the door.

There he was.

White hair slightly messy. Eyes red and swollen. Shoulders tense like he’d been holding back everything for days.

You couldn’t speak. Couldn’t breathe. But you stepped aside, letting him in.

The guilt swallowed you whole. But so did the exhaustion. You wanted to apologize, explain—but how could you explain something you didn’t fully understand yourself?

You were lost. Tired of pretending to be okay. Tired of waking up every day carrying burdens. You knew you were pushing him away. And it hurt. Because he didn’t deserve that.

He turned to face you, eyes glistening.

“Please, tell me what’s wrong. Did I do something? Please, enlighten me.” His voice cracked on the last word. You could feel his heart breaking in real time—and it mirrored your own.

“You didn’t do anything wrong…” you whispered. Your voice was small, like it hadn’t been used in days. “It was all me. I don’t know what to do anymore. And I don’t think you deserve someone who makes you doubt yourself because of what I have been going through.”

You still couldn’t meet his eyes.

“I don’t know what you’re thinking… and I wish you’d let me in. I’m not only here because I’m your boyfriend. I’m also here as your best friend. Someone who you can lean on… Please don’t carry all the burdens inside you. I’m here, love…” He stepped closer, eyes soft but pleading. You could see the way he was holding himself back—careful not to break you more.

“I don’t want to see you like this… Hurt me or push me all you want but I can’t leave you. I will not leave you. Please, love. Don’t be too hard on yourself. I don’t want to change you because I know how hard life is to you, but I just want you to let me in without pushing me away.” And then he wrapped his arms around you.

It wasn’t just a hug—it was a lifeline. He held you like someone anchoring a drifting soul, grounding you to the moment. You didn’t respond at first. But slowly, like thawing ice, your hands lifted to cling to him.

There were no more words. Just two bodies standing still in the soft glow of the room, both heavy and hollow in their own ways.

You didn’t have a sudden epiphany. You didn’t become healed.

But you felt his heartbeat against yours. Steady. Unshaken.

And for now, that was enough.

He understood you even in silence, as if your silence was a language only he had taken the time to learn. With him, you felt seen—not just noticed, but understood in a way that made your existence feel undeniable. The way he looked at you wasn’t with pity or curiosity, but something deeper, something reverent—like you were a puzzle he was willing to spend his whole life studying, not to solve, but to appreciate. In his presence, you no longer felt invisible. You felt real.

And maybe, for the first time in your life… you were ready to let someone stay.

— Author’s note

For my archer girlies out there, this one’s for us. For the ones who’ve always felt a little too much or not enough at all. Who carry quiet battles and still show up anyway. Who love in silence and fear being a burden. You’re not hard to love. You’re just used to surviving. You deserve someone who stays—and more than that, you deserve to let them. So take your time. Breathe. You’re not broken, you’re just healing. Love you all <3

[sereia4skz]

hi can I request head cannons for each member when you didn’t establish a safe word and he started choking you and you were unconfortable with it and tried to get him to stop and he didn’t until you started crying like not in a good way, and how they would react? (or you can do when you’re a virgin and they go to rough on you)

headcannons | you don't have a safeword

pairing: ot8!straykids x reader

genre: hurt comfort

warnings: unintentional rough sex, choking, emotional distress, crying, and panic, discussion of safe words, consent, and post-incident care

masterlist: A-Side (texts) | B-Side (written)

AN: HAVING A SAFE WORD IS SOOO IMPORTANT!!! EVEN IF YOU DON'T THINK YOU'LL NEED ONE! EVEN IF YOU DON'T THINK IT'S KINKY ENOUGH TO REQUIRE ONE!

BANG CHAN

He’s focused on being gentle, in his mind, he is being careful. But your soft winces, the shaky sounds in your breath? He misses them in the moment, too wrapped up in trying to stay in control. When he finally looks at your face and sees the tears, everything in him stops.

“Y/N...? Oh, no, no- are you crying? Shit. Baby, did I hurt you? Oh my god!”

He pulls out immediately, wraps his arms around you, tucks you to his chest like he’s shielding you from the world. He’s devastated he didn’t realize, and you’ll see the guilt all over his face as he whispers, “I thought I was being gentle. I’m so sorry. Please can we talk? I need to know how to make this right.”

He won’t touch you again until you initiate it. He’ll research how to have first-time sex safely, talk with you about pacing, about signals, and he’ll beg you to set up a safe word together. 

LEE KNOW

He doesn't mean to take it out on you. He’d been frustrated, pent-up, and you offering comfort turned into rough, hurried touches and sharp thrusts. You tried to keep up, you didn’t want to ruin the mood. But it hurt. And when you started crying, his entire body went still like ice water had been poured over him.

“Wait. Y/N. You’re crying. Fuck. What did I do?”

He pulls back instantly, breath ragged, not even touching you. His jaw tightens with self-directed anger. “I wasn’t thinking. I shouldn’t have touched you like that. I- god, I’m so sorry.”

He disappears into the bathroom for a few minutes, not to escape, but to get himself under control. Comes back with water, warm towels, and the softest apology in his voice. He’ll spend the next few days completely tuned in to your emotions. If you still want to be intimate, he won’t let anything happen unless he’s positive you’re fully into it, you’ll see a softer, slower version of him for a little.

CHANGBIN

He was in the moment, loving your reactions, your moans, the way your body moved. But he didn’t realize how strong he was being until he saw your face twist in discomfort… and then the tears came. It hits him like a brick wall.

“Oh my god- Y/N? No, no, no… baby, what did I do?”

His arms wrap around you before he even realizes he’s moving, holding you to his chest like he can protect you from the hurt he just caused. His own eyes brim with guilt. “I didn’t know. I wasn’t paying attention. I should’ve-”

He’s scared. Not of you, but of himself. Scared that he broke something sacred. He’ll ask you later: “Do you still trust me?”, and you’ll see just how much he needs that answer. From then on, everything becomes gentle with him. You’ll never have to question your safety in his arms again.

HYUNJIN

He thinks it’s something you might like, his hand loosely wrapping around your neck, watching your reaction, but your stillness and the way your breathing changes doesn’t escape him. Even though you don’t say anything, he stops.

“Wait. Y/N? Is this okay?”

And when you can’t answer, when your lip wobbles and the tears start to fall, his hand is gone like he’s been electrocuted.

“No. No, no, I’m sorry- please don’t cry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

He pulls you into his arms immediately, voice trembling. “I shouldn’t have done that without asking. I should’ve asked.”

He’s quiet for a long time after, just letting you breathe. But later, he comes back with a printed article on safe kink practices, softly asking if you’d want to read it together. Hyunjin grows from this. He becomes your safe place, never taking control again unless you hand it to him freely.

HAN

You didn’t know how to say stop, but your body said it for you. Jisung was needy, fast, lost in the pleasure of it all, until your sob caught in your throat and he looked down and saw your face. He immediately pulls out, hands shaking.

“Oh my god. Y/N. No. Are you okay?! Baby- fuck, you’re crying?”

His panic spirals so fast, he’s near tears too. He sits with you on the bed, holding your hands with trembling fingers. He needs to know you’re okay, but he’s too scared to push.

“Was I too rough? I didn’t know. I thought you were okay- I should’ve checked- I should’ve asked. Please say something…”

Afterward, he becomes so gentle. Afraid to hurt you again. He starts asking “Too much?” after every move, slowing down even when he doesn’t need to. And you’ll catch him holding you at night longer than usual, softly whispering, “I never want to make you cry like that again. I swear.”

FELIX

His hand was on your throat, gentle at first, and you thought you could handle it. But then it lingered too long, your breath shortened, and you tried to say the safeword… but it wouldn’t come out. Your eyes welled with tears. Felix sees them the second they fall, and instantly lets go.

“Oh my god! Oh, love. I’m so sorry. I didn’t hear you? Were you trying to say the word? Oh, sweetheart…”

He cradles your face, guilt written all over his expression. He wraps you in the softest blanket he can find, speaking to you in low, soothing tones. He feels like he failed you. And from then on, he asks if you want a non-verbal safeword, a hand squeeze, a tap, something you can always use, no matter what.

SEUNGMIN

He can be a little teasing, cocky, confident, and in the moment, he doesn’t realize how deeply it’s affecting you. Not until your body tightens beneath him and the tears start.

“...Y/N?”  He stops, blinks, startled. “Shit. You’re crying. Was I- was I too rough? Fuck, I didn’t mean to be.”

He backs off immediately, tugs the blanket over both of you. His expression is unreadable,  serious and worried. “Why didn’t I notice? I thought you liked it…”. But there’s no defensiveness. Just guilt. Just quiet hurt at the idea of causing you pain. 

“We’re never doing anything again unless you say exactly what you want, and I check in every step. No more guessing."

I.N 

He’s nervous, eager, and trying so hard to do everything right. But he doesn’t know how to pace himself, and he doesn’t notice how much you’re hurting until your voice cracks and the tears start to roll down your face.

“W-Wait, wait, are you crying?! Y/N, no- oh no, no no, I’m sorry-”

He panics. Like, full-body panic. Pulls back, covers you with the blanket, starts apologizing over and over, hands shaking as he cups your cheek.

“Did I mess everything up? I didn’t mean to hurt you. I didn’t know what I was doing. Please tell me you’re okay.”

You’ll need to reassure him gently, he’s so scared you’ll never want to touch him again. But after that, Jeongin becomes the kind of partner who always waits for your lead. Always asks. Always watches your face.

“Next time… let’s go slower. Only when you’re ready. Only if you’re smiling.”

taglist: @diekleinesuesse @tillaboo @felixsonlyrealwife @geni-627 @skz8riley @lezleeferguson-120 @pixie-felix @headfirstfortoro @alnex05 @baby-stay92 @encoredesires @androgynouscrownorbit @channiesluvrclub @my-neurodivergent-world @chims-dimple @bookswillfindyouaway @stellasays45 @angel-writes-skz-here @m-325 @0sunshinecryptid0 @beal-o @hug4helios @oksullen @rileylovescats @dreamyfelixx @yxna-bliss @turtledove824 @enhacolor @skzz0213 @hannahlue

[starlostseungmin]

───────　𐙚˙⋆.˚ 　𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘 𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐒 𝐅𝐈𝐂 𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒.　❞

fanfics listed below are from my reblog account and some are from my main so be mindful of what you read. please reblog to share !!

（ 𖹭 ） : personal favorites.　（ 🍒 ）: 18+ , smut , mdni.

FOR KIM SEUNGMIN　click here ‼️

˖˙ ᰋ ── 　 FAKE TEXTS.

it’s because i’m ugly, isn’t it? by @sunboki

you tell him you can’t have kids. (minho only) by @skz317cb97

𖹭 their parents don’t like you. (han, seungmin, jeongin only) by @charmerchannie

bf!skz sneaking out at night to see you. by @biniminisblog

🍒 you texting 'what are we?' (jeongin ft. felix) by skz317cb97

🍒 he accidentally texts you a spicy video. (han only) by skz317cb97

˖˙ ᰋ ── 　 HEADCANONS.

𖹭 skz and the reason you aren’t together. by @hyunebunx

show don’t tell with skz. by hyunebunx

𖹭 spin the bottle with skz. by hyunebunx

late night moments with skz. by hyunebunx

'make me' with skz. by hyunebunx

"what are we?" with skz. by hyunebunx

cheek kisses. by @svngcore

skz when you scream their name while they're performing. by @softstraykidshours

asking for a pillow to cuddle with when you stay over as a prank. by ppiri-bahng

˖˙ ᰋ ── 　 FAKE TEXTS.

chan drabble. by @nonranghaes

crushing with bang chan. by myjisung

underwater rendezvous. by @stayconnecteed　ー 1.2k words

𖹭 🍒 my wife. by @chrizzztopherbang 　ー 1.2k words

🍒 scented candles. by @hwajin 　ー 3.2k words

queen!reader x peasant!chan. by ppiri-bahng

𖹭 🍒 say yes to heaven. by @hwan-g 　ー 3.2k words ; i’m too weak to let you be, to walk away from you. it’s a twisted, distorted thing, what’s going on inside me. i see no end to it, no relief. only suffering. i did this to you, my heart, and i cannot apologize. i don’t want to. i’m jealous, i’m jealous, i’m wretched.

˖˙ ᰋ ── 　 LEE KNOW.

𖹭 moonstruck. by @withleeknow 　ー 4.7k words

boyfriend lee know. by @hanjsquokka

𖹭 🍒 get better, okay? by @jeonginsleftcheek

𖹭 🍒 munch lee know. by @dwaekkicidal

🍒 gym sex. by @luvyeni 　ー 0.4k words ; lee know can't take you anywhere without someone flirting.

˖˙ ᰋ ── 　 SEO CHANGBIN.

college crush!changbin. by @starseungs　ー 1.2k words

only for you. by starlostastronaut

come home. by stayconnecteed 　ー 3.4k words

🍒 changbin nsfw thought #002. by ppiri-bahng

˖˙ ᰋ ── 　 HWANG HYUNJIN.

crushing with hyunjin. by myjisung

just love me for me. by @ppiri-bahng

hyunjin drabble. by @sunboki

our love untold. by starseungs　ー 3.1k words ; for those who grew up loved, it eventually becomes a norm to the point that the nuances between its types become untold.

🍒 hyunjin nsfw thought. by @jeongin-lvr

𖹭 🍒 hyunjin drabble. by @hwangskitten

🍒 hyunjin nsfw thought #001. by ppiri-bahng

morning text. by @hyunverse

11:11pm. by starseungs

˖˙ ᰋ ── 　 HAN JISUNG.

wednesday — [8:47PM] by @myjisung

boyfriend han jisung. by hanjsquokka

han vs. homework. by @soobnny　ー 1.0k words ; your clingy bf han jisung wants to kiss you.

moonage daydream. by @starlostastronaut 　ー 1.2k words ; every moment in his presence is magical. being alone with the true version of him even more so.

summertime longing. by stayconnecteed ー 2.4k words

how he would take care of you during shark week. by withleeknow

a dream and a dance. by starseungs　ー 2.0k words ; dreaming was a lot harder as an adult than it was back when you were but a small kid. but maybe—just maybe, you could indulge in this dream come true for once.

distracted gamer. by @seungfl0wer

🍒 jisung nsfw drabble. by @planet-dusk

skate. by hyunverse

𖹭 🍒 inexperienced. by @seospicybin　ー 7.5k words ; one of your subordinates wasn’t performing the way you would have liked, you invited him for a drink in the hopes of encouraging him only to discover that he's inexperienced in other things too.

˖˙ ᰋ ── 　 FELIX LEE.

crushing with felix. by myjisung

dating him. by soobnny

better places. by @hwangism143

college crush!felix. by starseungs ー 1.1k words

safe haven. by @comet-falls ー 1.1k words

the cuddle cure. by ppiri-bahng

[13:39] by @starlighthan

˖˙ ᰋ ── 　 YANG JEONGIN.

saturday — [3:07AM] by myjisung

college crush!jeongin. by starseungs ー 1.1k words

𖹭 employee discount. by @felixbit　ー 1.5k words ; you've been going to the same coffee shop ever since you moved to busan. you seem to be the favorite of the cute barista, jeongin, because he started giving you the employee discount.

memories. by comet-falls ー 1k words

₍ ᐢ..ᐢ ₎ *；　 don’t forget to reblog and leave feedbacks for the writers !! will add more soon. enjoy reading folks !!

[whereisten]

Promises

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | more coming soon..

“I make no promises, I can't do golden rings, but I'll give you everything tonight”

Pairing: Mafia Leader!Jaehyun x female reader (bakery/cafe owner)

Genre: Friends to lovers au, fluff, smut and angst

Warnings: gun and violence mention, blood mention, murder, stalking, alcohol mention, Minors DNI! Smut (unprotected sex, knife play, impregnation kink, rough sex, overstimulation, public sex, car sex)

Word Count: 13k

((A/N: WELL...its been some time, I apologize :( We got two new characters hehe! Also, if you are. jjk fan, the getou version is on our AO3 ;) I hope you enjoy this part, there will be a few more, Im thinking of actually publishing this one so I would love to receive feedback if you have any! Thank youuuu <3)

-------------

[A month later]

“Hey..what do you want to drink?” Your friend taps your shoulder to awaken you from your daze.

With the music booming and the lights flashing, you’d think you’d be wide awake in the club, but the truth was you were thinking about him.

You missed him. You missed his smile, his voice, his comfort. Sure, he was mean when he left, but it didn’t stop your heart from falling in love with him. Although, your mind knew better. He wanted nothing to do with you, so why think about him?

“I’ll take cranberry vodka.” You nod at her.

After a few minutes she hands the drink to you and smiles. “I’m so happy you got a break. Let’s go dance!”

And so you down your drink and head to the dance floor, doing your best to push his image and touch out of your head.

You twirl around, moving your hips freely to the music and feeling your head become heavier by the second.

After nearly 20 minutes you stumble towards the back in search of the bathroom.

“It’s down the hall, honey.” Another bartender points.

You sigh as you relieve yourself. Few things felt as good as peeing while drunk. You look at yourself in the mirror, laughing at how dizzy you felt. But damn were you hot, you went with the perfect dress tonight, how could you not get any attention from the men out there?

Well, you’ll just have to try again, you thought to yourself and stepped out after washing your hands. The only problem with this plan is that you accidentally turned in the opposite direction and left through the back door of the club.

By the time you realized and turned around to get back in, the heavy metal door slammed shut. “Shit.”

You balance yourself on the wall and walk around, and just as you turn the corner you see something familiar.

It’s Jaehyun’s car.

Your eyes widen, your brain immediately pushing away your desire for any male attention other than his. Wait, why are you like this? He doesn’t want you, remember?

But still, it wouldn’t hurt to get a glimpse of him, right?

You walk towards his car and look up at the building it’s parked in front of.

The building is dark, except for one floor with lit up bulbs. Tipsy and without a plan, you head up to it.

The area is sketchy so you really shouldn’t be snooping around, but you text your friends you’ll be back.

As you approach the level, you hear a lot of talking and arguing. You then peek through a hole in a wall separating the hall from the lit up room and see a man tied up in a chair with a bag over his head.

You look to the left to see Jaehyun. The man of your dreams wears a black t-shirt and jeans, and still looks wonderful.

Your eyes widen when you see him wiping a knife with a long blade clean, blood stains the cloth and you breathe heavily as you notice that the man’s arm is dripping in blood.

“It’s a pity you won’t tell us what we need, we’ll find it out anyway..” His familiar voice echoes in the warehouse. 

“You can try to drink your problems away but you’ll never escape me.” Jaehyun smiles wickedly at him. It’s a sinister smile that would send anyone running, but not you, of course not. You strangely have the adverse reaction, needing to see that face, one he’d give you as you look over your shoulder to see him ruining you from behind. 

Stop.

That’s your drunk mind talking. He was right, no matter how much you drank, you’d never escape him.

Nonetheless, it seems they’d caught the man at the bar you were at right before you got there.

Another henchman brings a crying and tied up woman out from another room and throws her onto the floor in front of the man. The gang member then takes the covering off of the man’s head and the man screams a blood curdling scream as he sees the woman on the floor.

“Your wife has been through a lot already, Leonidas..put her out of her misery now by just telling us the truth..” 

Her husband won’t budge, shaking his head and repeating “I’m sorry..I’m sorry I can’t” over and over. You swallow hard. Your hands start to tremble. What is Jaehyun’s plan if he still refuses to cooperate?

And then, one of Jaehyun’s men kicks her in the stomach repeatedly, making her spew out blood. You squint and look away, but the sound of her screams of agony pierce your ears. 

You start to cry, covering our mouth to quiet your own sobbing.

“Do you really want to see how ugly this gets?” Jaehyun marches over then stabs her thigh.

You gasp as your eyes widen. No. How could he do this to an innocent woman?

The sight is messy and you turn away again. You shouldn’t be here, you have no business watching this. This can’t be the same man that you daydream about. This can’t be the man that you served pastries and coffee to, or the one that made sure you got home safe every night. You feel sick to your stomach.

The man is still silent, Jaehyun rolls his eyes before leaning down in front of him. “She will suffer because of you, is that really what you want?”

The man looks at his wife who is curled up on the ground and in tears. “Please..forgive me.”

“Leonidas! Please!!” She begs while reaching out for him.

Jaehyun steps back and nods towards another henchman who picks up a gun and shoots the lower part of the woman’s spine before your brain can even comprehend what is happening. The sharp sound nearly deafens you, but you still don’t run away. 

Jaehyun looks back at the man as he winces from seeing her writhe like a fish out of water. “Now..she’s paralyzed, was it worth it?”

You step back, but you’re suddenly grabbed up by the collar and dragged into the room by one of the members. 

“Hey! Ow!”

He throws you onto the floor, making you jam your knees onto the concrete.

“Look what we got here boss, a snitch.”

Jaehyun turns to you as you curse out. “Shit! Let me go!”

His eyes widen as he breaks his intimidating presence for a moment. “What the hell?!”

“Do you want us to tie her up?” The man grabs you up by your hair as you grunt. You raise your hands in an effort to scratch his strong arms.

“No! Get your hands off her!” Jaehyun hurries over.

The man lets your hair go, making you fall to the floor and grunt.

Jaehyun quickly places the gun down and helps you up. He grabs your wrist, tighter than ever before, nearly crushing your bone as he drags you out and into the hall. “Ow! Jaehyun..you’re hurting me!”

“What the fuck are you doing? Are you crazy?!” He tosses you into a wall, and the fact that you look amazing tonight still doesn’t stop him from being upset about you being there.

“I’m-I’m sorry, I just...I saw your car and -I wanted to see what you were up to and..” you start to sob.

“Why?!”

You sniffle, still tipsy, you can’t hold back the truth. “I missed you and I think..I think I love you.”

His brows furrow. “Love? You can’t fucking love me..”

“Those people..Jaehyun, I…I saw what you did, why are you doing this?”

“Did you like what you fucking saw?! Can you still love me after this? This is what I do, y/n. Get that through your thick skull! I’m not a nice fucking person, I hurt people!” He is infuriated, he doesn’t try to calm you down as you cry harder. He should take a moment to remember that you're probably drunk out of your mind right now, but in his anger, he can't seem to think of that fact.

He’s frightening, you can’t help but tremble under him. His face is filled with fury, and it’s the same face you saw the night he saved you from those two men, but you’re not so sure if you’re as lucky as you were last time.

“I’m sorry-it’s just..I didn’t expect you to—“

“To what?! What y/n?!” He steps closer as he yells.

“Kill innocent people!” You finally let out.

He nods. “Innocent?? What- well! Merry fucking Christmas, hope you liked your surprise. This is exactly why you should stay away from me! You don’t know me! You don’t want to know me! And I don’t want to see you again, do you understand?!”

You don’t respond, you only cry into your hands.

He grabs your wrist again to pull you back into the room.

“Hold her still!” He points to two large men who hold your arms up.

“Jaehyun..stop..please..I’ll leave..” You heave. He picks a gun from the table up. 

“No!! Don’t do this..you don’t have to! There’s another way..Jaehyun..please!!”

The man and woman beg him as well, pleading loudly as they desperately try to escape the men and rope that keep them in place as well.

He shoots the husband and wife 3 times each, making you jump and turn away.

You push the henchmen away from you and wail while on the floor. 

“Look at me!” Jaehyun commands.

He bends down and takes your chin into his hand, forcing you to look into his eyes as his fingers dig into your cheeks. He looks into your wet, red eyes, but not an ounce of regret flows through him. You had to see this, you had to hate him. Only then could you truly want this separation.

He hated to see you cry, but it was necessary. If you saw him as a saint, if you fell in love with who you thought was a “good man” only to find out how evil he is further down the line, it would only hurt more.

“This is who I am..you shouldn’t..you can’t love me..now get out of here.”

He lets you go. You quickly scurry to your feet.

You run as far as you can while crying, a million thoughts run through your head, the loudest being “how could you be so stupid to fall in love with a gang leader?”

Jaehyun turns to one of the men who starts to put their guns away.

“You just killed our lead, boss.”

Jaehyun stares at the dead man who should’ve provided key information as to where enemy shipments were docking.

“The bastard wasn’t going to tell us anything, he even let his wife die..tomorrow, we’ll see if his friend is just as selfish.”

Jaehyun puts his jacket on and heads out without another word.

On his drive back home, he thinks about everything that happened and if he had to do what he did. The truth is he had to kill them. The minute his guy dragged you into the room, this was decided. Should the man and his wife be let free, they would quickly expose your identity to his rivals and put your life at risk, and he couldn’t have that happening. You messed things up and didn’t even know. To make matters worse, based on his reaction everyone in the room could tell you were special to him. 

He lays down in bed and tries to sleep, but after tossing and turning, he decides he should just go to the gym to take out his frustrations.

The punching bag becomes his main target. With every punch he thinks of how he felt when he yelled at you. Why was he so rough? You just confessed your love and this is how he reacts? He doesn’t deserve you. He knew that from the very beginning and his greed and lust still pushed it. He knew it because he didn’t want to just say ‘goodbye’ after having sex with you, he wanted to stay and hold you close, hugging you until the sun rose. 

He wanted to whisper sweet words as he watched you sleep in his arms. He had never wanted this from any sexual partner before. Thus, he realized he loves you too, he always will and for that reason he cannot put your life at risk. 

He sweats large drops of salty water as he pants.

He sits on the bench, wondering if he should call and apologize for being too harsh on you. He plans on leaving you alone, but the least he could do is apologize first.

He picks the phone up and stares at your unsaved number. But after a few seconds, he decides not to call, putting the phone back on the bench beside him and picking up his water bottle instead.

As he gulps it down, and as he does, he remembers how drunk you were and can’t help but wonder if you got home safely. So he picks the phone up and checks your location.

You’re home.

He sighs. He should stop by and see if you’re awake. 

No. He shouldn’t

But once again, Jaehyun can’t resist you.

He uses a lock pick to get into your apartment easily, making note of how he should really get you a chain lock for the inside.

He walks in slowly and quietly before pushing your room door open slightly. And there you were, curled up in bed and snoring lightly. It was nice to know you were sleeping soundly, but he knew his words and actions cut deep this time, maybe too deep to recover from.

He observes your cute face, your brows furrowed slightly and your lips pursed. To be with you—no—to even look at you is a privilege, one he did not deserve.

He places a soothing cream for your wrist on your nightstand as well as a hangover cure drink, then turns to leave.

You take in a sharp breath, causing him to turn around swiftly. Did you wake up?

You breathe heavily, your eyes move quickly under your lids.

“No..no..” You mumble and groan. Your breathing quickens. It sounds like you’re on the verge of a panic attack.

Not knowing how else to help you before it’s too late, he quickly lays down in bed beside you and hugs you from behind. “I got you, baby, it’ll be okay shh.”  

He holds you in his arms until you start to breathe normally again. Your eyes never open. 

I could stay here..just tonight..it wouldn’t hurt, would it? He already knows the answer. He tells himself he is doing this to help you, but he knows he’s doing it for his own selfish reasons. To be able to feel your warmth, to smell your hair, to listen to you breathe in the stillness of the night, that’s why he does it.

Your eyes open slightly but he can’t see, you try to process what exactly is happening while panicking for a moment, but then it clicks. His cologne surrounds you just as his arms do.

Jaehyun.

He was hugging you close as you dreamt.

You decide to close your eyes and enjoy your last moment with him, with the man you could only know now as a cold hearted killer.

After a few minutes, he slowly releases you from his hold and gets out of the bed. 

You both needed to be away from each other for now, so he silently leaves your apartment and heads home.

You wake up the next morning alone and with a splitting headache.

You rub your temple, squinting as the sun peers through your window. Then, you feel another aching pain. 

You look down at your wrist and it all comes back to you.

“Shit.” You whisper to yourself. 

What happened the night before was real..very real actually. Jaehyun made it clear that he wasn’t interested in you anymore, so now the only thing you can do is move on and try to forget him. Try.. at least try. You get up and get ready for work after downing the drink he left for you on your nightstand. That strange bastard. How can he care for you, but hurt you at the same time?

[One Month Later]

Jaehyun mustered up the courage to face you finally. He just couldn’t bear it anymore. Every day he had to watch you travel your usual route from home to work as a little dot on his phone screen. He refused to do it any longer. He had to see you, hear from you, touch you..hold you. It’s the only way he’d feel sane again.

He sits at his usual spot, meanwhile, you didn’t notice he’s even opened the door. Why? You’re too caught up in a conversation with another man. You smile and laugh a bit too much for his liking. How could you? How could you share your happiness with another man while he aches for you?

How and why are you flirting with another customer? And in just a few minutes he hears it. 

 “Thank you Johnny, I’ll see you next time.”

You even call him by his first name? 

The man takes his bag of bread and heads out with a small smile.

Jaehyun looks back at you, only to catch you smiling hard as Johnny leaves.

But then, your smile fades when you see him.

You flinch when you see him at your counter and he notices. He really did scare you that night. He thinks to himself. His heart does hurt when he remembers how badly he messed up, but his mind is enraged with the thought that you may have moved on.

You look away and start to wipe down the counter. 

“Do you know all your customer’s first name’s now?” Jaehyun says as he tilts his head. You ignore him. 

You look over your shoulder to the back.

“Mark! There’s someone out here who needs help”

“Ok!”

You resume your chore, scrubbing an already clean surface as you try not to face Jaehyun. He controlled your every thought night and day. He’s no good for you, you know that, and you figured distance and time would help. Yet, here he was. Never allowing that theory to come true as he closes in on distance and takes up your time.

Mark looks around nervously. You hired Mark shortly after that incident so you could 1. Not be alone with any creeps and 2. Get some help in the bakery. There’s no way you can handle all the work yourself. 

He clears his throat. “What would you like to order?

Jaehyun chuckles, “A minute with the owner.”

Mark sighs then looks back at you while you place fresh cookies on the display. He turns back to Jaehyun and pouts. “Unfortunately, we don’t have that”

Jaehyun frowns. He feels like an asshole for how he acted. Technically, he had no right to be upset with you, and he only came to apologize. You don’t owe him a word and you’re clearly upset, so there’s no point in making your pain last longer.

Mark sighs and walks away.

“Y/n..how I acted that night..was completely unacceptable. I was..worried about you, but I made a fool of myself and went too far. You don’t deserve that, and I’m so sorry. I understand why you don’t wish to speak with me..but I will never stop hoping that one day you do.” He stands up.

You look him in the eyes, holding back tears as your chest rumbles.

”Please leave if you don’t plan on ordering anything.” You say through thin lips.

You head to the back office as Mark takes over the front. 

You try to act like you don’t care but deep down you do. and as you sit at your desk, you lay on your arms and wonder what should you do. Why does your heart feel so heavy with guilt? You’re the one that’s hurt, right? You deserve better, so just wait for it. But no..you want him, you can’t deny it. He was terrifying that night, he went too far. 

However, as news surfaced about the couple he killed, mysteriously found dead in the woods, the truth about their wrongdoings came to light. They used money from drug trafficking to start up their own ring of slave trafficking, a completely new level of crime. You remembered enjoying coffee one night while closing. You asked Jaehyun if his job entailed hurting innocent people and he assured you he didn’t, turns out, he was right. 

Long story short, he saved a few innocent lives by taking care of those rotten demons. He is an interesting variation of Batman.

He still scared you though, that you wouldn’t deny.

Jaehyun is dissatisfied with you ignoring him, but he leaves you alone.

[The Next Month]

“Happy Birthday Mark!” You and your friends yell out at the busy nightclub.

Mark smiles widely and thanks everyone before putting two soon-to-be-emptied bottles up in the air. 

You dance the night away and do some drinking yourself. You bump hips with Mark and throw your hands in the air while having an amazing time. The lights flash, the music is nearly deafening and the floor shakes under your feet. It’s nice to let go.

“Want another shot?” Mark pushes his hair back while leaning towards you.

Feeling quite tipsy, you shake your head. “I’m good!” You didn’t need things to go south like they did the last time you got drunk.

Mark hugs you tightly before running off to the bar. You laugh while watching him prance away without a care in the world.

A few feet away from you sits the club's owner. He takes a long drag from his cigarette and lets it rest inbetween his fingers while leaning back.

“Let’s dance, babe…it’s too boring here!” The girl in a tight hot pink dress sitting beside him runs her hand over his thigh. He brushes her away and scoots further down on the couch. 

“I’ll tell you what..go ahead and dance and if I like the way you move, I’ll join you.”

She jumps up and runs to the floor, still oblivious to the fact that his attention has been on someone else the entire time.

“Hey.” You hear a low voice call out from behind. You turn to see a tall man with blue hair gazing down at you with wide eyes. 

Why not? You think to yourself. It’s been a while since you’ve felt the embrace of a hot guy.

You start to dance, letting the music flow through your bodies as they grind against each other.

He runs his hand along your throat, tilting your chin so that he can access your lips from behind. You can feel his steamy breath hit your bottom lip, you’re so close and then-

You’re separated. 

“What the fuck, dude?” The man lets out when he sees a girl in a tight pink dress walk away after bumping into the two of you hard.

“Sorry about that.” a male voice calls out from behind you. You turn and gasp.

Jaehyun.

“She got a little carried away.” He walks after the girl. Your heart drops. Did he just brush past you like that? Not even a glance or “hi.” Are you really nothing to him?

You shouldn’t be surprised. You’re the one that cut things off. So why does it hurt so bad to see him with someone else?

“You good?” The blue haired man interrupts your thoughts. 

You force a smile. “Yeah..yeah for sure! Do you..want to go to the bathroom?”

He smiles widely and takes your hand. The two of you struggle to make your way through the crowd and towards the back to continue your makeout session. 

Jaehyun watches you and sends a message to one of his men.

He tells them to lock the bathroom doors. He knew you were less likely to make out with the guy in public like this.

He had to stop it.

“Hey! You said you like the way I move, let’s dance!” The girl grabs his arm.

He pulls away, gently taking her hand off of him. “I’ll be right back.”

He hurries to the back where he sees you both struggling to open the door. Suddenly, the power is cut off. You can’t see anything and now the guy's hand has left yours. Everyone yells and screams. Some screaming out of fear, some screaming out of excitement. It’s chaos, but after just 10 seconds, the flashing lights and music come back on.

Your makeout partner, however, is gone.

You look everywhere for the handsome blueberry, but he’s nowhere to be found. 

“Shit.” You say quietly then head back to the dance floor to look for Mark and your friends.

Jaehyun owned the club so it didn’t take long for him to get what he wanted. Power off? Got it. Bathrooms closed? Done. Blue haired guys get kicked out for no reason? Absolutely.

You push your way through the crowd and bump into Jaehyun again. This time, the girl he was with earlier has an arm around his neck while dancing against his chest. He has a cigarette in his mouth, but gives you a sly smile when he sees you watching them.

She grinds on him but his eyes are focused on you. His dark eyes are hard to resist, boring holes into your skull and making your clothes feel even tighter than they were before. You swallow hard then turn away quickly and continue to look for Mark.

The night goes on and you continue to dance with your friends. It’s not until about 3 AM that everyone is ready to leave.

You wait for an UVER outside with a hammered Mark.

“Boss. That was..so..fun..” he slurs out.

“I’m glad you had a great time.” you laugh out as he rests his head on your shoulder.

30 minutes have passed and UVER drivers have either declined the ride or not shown up at all. “What the hell is going on?”

Other people had their designated drivers and were heading home already. The night air starts to feel extra chilly when you realize it’s just the two of you outside now.

“Busy night?..” a man says as he drives up to the front of the club.

You look into the car. “Yeah it seems like-“ your face drops.

“I can drop you guys off if you’d like.” Jaehyun continues.

You step back. “We’re good..thank you.”

“Please y/n..you’re on the way anyway.”

“I said we’re fine! Just leave us-“

Mark stumbles to the ground, falling face flat. 

“Shit!” You yell out then try to pick him up.

Jaehyun hops out of the car to help you.

“The UVER should..ugh..be here in a few minutes.”

Jaehyun leans Mark against his car and looks at you with a serious, almost scary expression. “Are you lying to me?”

You roll your eyes. “Why are you talking to me like I’m a child? Just leave us alone.”

“I’ll wait until it gets here.”

“We don’t need you to do that” 

“It’s my choice, I won’t go home until everyone else does.”

“Oh, are you pulling a Batman again?”

“Come on y/n, think about the surge rates..”

You look away and cross your arms.

“I was a dick, I know-“

“Was?” You raise an eyebrow.

“But let me make it up to you, I’ll drop you both off, he can get rest and you can get home safely..please.”

You look at your phone and sure enough UVER has boosted the price 5x.

You look at Mark then at Jaehyun. “Fine.”

He helps you put Mark in the car. He sleeps and lays on his side on the backseat.

You then sit in the passenger seat with your hands in your lap. A few minutes pass and Jaehyun can’t help it.

“How are you?”

“I’m fine.”

He nods. 

“Did you like the nightclub?”

You don’t respond this time, you only look out of the window as he drives.

A few seconds pass and only Mark’s snoring fills the tense air.

“We worked hard on it, changed the tiles, redid the bar, and-“

“How are you always conveniently popping up?” You ask him angrily.

“You can’t just come to my club and not expect to see me, y/n..” he says smoothly.

You turn to him.

“My..club?”

He can’t contain his laughter “oh you had no idea huh?”

“You never told me you owned a nightclub..” 

“I never told you much about my job, baby”

You shiver when he says “baby” in such a low tone. 

You scoff. “Job..if that’s what you call it.” You roll your eyes and relax into the seat.

‘And that’s why it didn’t work’ is what you want to say, but you don’t.

“I also didn’t know you started smoking again.”

Jaehyun can’t help but smile. You’re worried about him, and it shows in how much attention you give him. You still care.

“I didn’t..just needed a little something tonight.”

“Good. I hate the smell.”

He looks at you to see if you realized your mistake. 

“Does it matter anymore? I’m never near you..” He tilts his head.

“Oh…right.” You say quietly.

He clears his throat. “How have you been though? Is the business doing well?”

“I don’t want to talk, Jaehyun.” 

And there it is. You shut him out again. Was what he did that bad? Yeah, he may have killed a person..two people..in front of you..twice, and yeah, he may have yelled and said awful things. But did it warrant this treatment from you? Well..yes. You’re too good for him, he needs to remember that. He swallows hard when he comes to the realization that he will never stop trying to get you back. Whether it takes 1 month, 5 years, or a decade, deep down, he will always want you. 

He waits for a few minutes to pass then he tries again.

“Come on sweetheart, we can start over.” He grips the steering wheel tightly with one hand.

The slight airiness in his voice sends you back to the night you had with him. His sweaty skin against your body, his large hands gripping you tightly enough to wring you dry. All while he pants and leans into your ear to call you “sweetheart.”

You close your legs tightly and shake the memory away.

You chuckle. You can’t believe the audacity of this man.

“First of all don’t call me that…and it seems to me you’re already starting something with another girl.”

“Oh?..did that upset you?”

You turn to him. “Seeing a cold killer dance with someone? No..no I’m not upset at all, I feel bad for her.”

he glances at Mark to make sure he’s still sleeping. “A killer? Me?” He chuckles.

“He’s passed out, and even if he wasn’t I’d kill you if you laid a finger on him.”

“Oo a threat?, I’d like to see you try, I wonder if you’d start trembling again?”

“Oh fuck off.” You roll your eyes.

“What about that Johnny guy? What’s his deal?”

You bunch your brows. “Oh did that upset you?”

Jaehyun shakes his head and looks into the road sternly. “You guys just seem close, that’s all.”

“You think I’m sleeping with every customer I know on a first name basis now?”

“No-that’s not-“

“Yes, Jaehyun, you caught me. I’m fucking Johnny and other customers before and after work every day, happy?”

He turns to you, clenching his jaw and narrowing his eyes. 

“Don’t do that.”

“Don’t do what?” You turn back to him.

“Don’t get sarcastic with me.”

“Or what?”

Just then Mark snores loudly, so loud you jump in your seat. The two of you burst out into laughter.

The rest of the drive is silent. You both help Mark into his apartment, then Jaehyun drives you to yours.

He lets you out at the loop right in front of the building. “Do you want me to walk you up?”

You turn to him before stepping out of his car. “Since when do I need help to get to my apartment?. Goodbye Jaehyun.”

He takes your hand. “I..I’m sorry.”

“I know you are.” You withdraw it from his hold and walk away. 

The night ends just like countless other nights have ended for him, he dreams about you, grasping the sheets on his bed, hoping to feel your skin just once. Eventually, he gives up and either works out or stands in front of his floor to ceiling windows with a cigarette in hand while watching the sun rise.

[Two Weeks Later]

Jaehyun holds your hand gently, helping you into the massive teacup you’re about to ride in together. It’s been a great day at Disney, and now with the sun setting, casting a warm glow onto your lover's face, you enjoy one last ride together.

The cups spin and spin, making you slide up and down the curved bench inside. Jaehyun giggles and reaches out for you to hold you close. You rest in his broad arms, time seems to stand still for a moment. You only feel the peace of the air in between you, the longing gazes, and the golden hue of the sky. 

His smile fades into a frown. “I’m sorry sweetheart..”

Your brows bunch together. “Sorry? About what?”

You’re jolted awake by the sound of your vibrating phone.

“Damn it..” you rub your eyes before grabbing your phone. Another stupid dream about your stupid ex-wait, could you even call him that?

You yawn while scratching your head. “I really gotta stop doing that.” But you can’t control your dreams, they manifest from what your heart wants. Nonetheless, you unlock your phone to see what the notification is.

It’s a text

Banker: let’s meet to discuss a few things about your application.

You nod to yourself. “Perfect.”

You knew what the Banker meant when he said he wanted to meet up. In exchange for him tweaking a few things on your loan application, you’ll satisfy his..specific needs. Will this be your proudest moment? Probably not, but you need to do what you need to do.

You swallow hard. Jaehyun’s face of disappointment enters your mind. 

“Ugh…” you lay back down in bed. He did have a point. Why should you sell yourself when someone you actually like is willing to give you money for just existing?

Then you remind yourself. Where is that money coming from? It’s blood money, and you want nothing to do with it.

And sure, he’d be disappointed, but what does that change? At the end of the day you still have a stack of bills that are starting to tilt like the tower of Pisa on your dining table. 

“Wait..what he thinks doesn’t matter.” You sit back up in bed and laugh to yourself.

You: Okay

[The Next Day]

Jaehyun pours the milk over his cereal before exhaling loudly. He still regrets how he acted with you, he misses you more than anything, but what can he do to fix everything? The truth is he knows he’ll have to let you go, you deserve better anyway. You deserve peace and a partner that can help you run your business. A partner that will bake with you then go over your finances together. 

Jaehyun sits down while imagining what he thinks is the life you deserve. You and your partner could eventually offer catering and delivery services for your bakery, you could hire more people so you wouldn’t have to work so hard. And then you’d have time for kids-

Kids..

Jaehyun’s smiles fondly. “She’d be a good mom…”

All of this can and will happen..just not with him. He needs to let you go, for the thought of you being with someone else is just too hurtful. The time is now, he needs to change now. And the first step is deleting the tracker app.

He unlocks his phone and opens the app for the last time. “She’s probably at the bakery right now..”

But no…you’re not at the bakery. You’re in a random parking lot.

He chews slowly and stares with a puzzled expression.

Any plans that you made would likely be in your text or map history, so he decides to take a look at your recent texts.

He puts his spoon down, standing straight up as what he sees shocks him to his core.

“The fucking banker.” 

Jaehyun grabs his jacket and runs out.

He’s furious especially since you already tried doing it this way and he stopped it. How could you do this to him? How could you do this to yourself? He speeds to your location.

Meanwhile, you and the banker sit in his car in the middle of a relatively empty parking lot. You sit nervously in the passenger seat.

The banker tells you that he went over your profile and application, and he’d be happy to approve your loan with the minimum interest. 

You’re ecstatic and relieved. “Oh my god…that’s amazing, thank you!”

The 50-something year old looks into your eyes and nods. “I made it work for you.”

“I appreciate that..”

He leans forward and stares at your lips. “You are so beautiful, I had to do something to help.”

You take a deep breath and try to accept what’s happening, but you can’t bring yourself to meet him halfway.

He opens his eyes. “Oh..is this too much? I’m sorry, I-“

“Oh no..it’s fine..but I’m..not ready yet..”

He looks defeated, and sits back in his seat.

The guilt starts to rip through you, he isn’t pushy or aggressive. He genuinely is helpful, but the attraction just isn’t there. 

You break the silence. “I’d rather let you touch me.” 

You’re quiet and shy, a stark contrast to how you are with Jaehyun because deep down, you don’t really want it.

“Oh..really?”

You nod.

He leans forward, biting his bottom lip as he reaches out. He caresses the warm skin of your neck before moving his hand further down to your shoulder.

You swallow hard as the man pushes your strap off your shoulder slowly, then drags his thumb over your bra. 

“Is this okay?” He asks. You nod, desperate to have him finish quickly so you can go home and relax. He puts his other hand into his pants.

Yes, finally-just get it over with and-

*crash*

The driver window suddenly shatters as someone punches through it.

You scream as you watch the masked man covered in black attire from head-to-toe punch the banker through the window in seconds. There’s glass everywhere, on the floor, in your lap, and all over the banker’s clothing and hair.

He then grabs him by the collar and drags him out of the car through the space created by the broken window.

The banker screams, but the man holds the banker up by the collar and chokes him until he loses consciousness. Your mouth falls open, he may just kill the banker.

“Stop! Please! He didn’t do anything! We were just-“

The man lets the banker’s limp body drop to the floor. You sit in silence as you watch him look down on his body for a few seconds. Then, a chill attacks your spine. He lifts his head and his focus slowly shifts to your face.

Your eyes widen. The panic sets in and you jump out of the car, running away from the masked man. 

He runs after you at an alarming speed.  His steps triple that of yours. You can’t out run him. He grabs you by the waist and swings you around. 

You flail in his arms. “Please!! Please don’t hurt me!”

He doesn’t say anything, he simply throws you over his shoulder and takes you to his black van. You sob and beg him to let you go.

He only turns back around and walks to the banker. He takes his wallet and watch then walks back to you while shoving them in his pocket. Through the small slit over his eyes you can see a menacing darkness. You have no idea what his intentions are, but you don’t think they’re good. You look around you to see rope, tape, bags of cement, bricks, and a shovel. You start hyperventilating and scurry to the corner of the van to get away from him, but he still gets closer and closer to you. 

“Hands behind you.” The man says through a voice changing box. You do as he says and place your arms behind you. He easily spins you around and ties you up with rope. He then spins you back and stares into your eyes.

“Please..let me go..I don’t even know him that well..if he owes you, just take it out on him..”

The man doesn’t say anything, he looks at your exposed shoulder and drooping bra cup now resting slightly above your nipple. He reaches over, a flinch escaping you as a result.

He keeps moving his hand until he grabs the strap and fixes your dress over your bra again. His icy fingers graze your skin.

You swallow hard and start to relax just a bit. “Th-thank you.”

He leaves the back of the van, slamming the door shut before jumping into the driver’s seat.

In a few hours, the banker is hit with the worst headache of his life. He stands up slowly and looks at his broken window. Then, it all starts to come back to him. He sighs. He doesn’t have his wallet or watch, but he’s more than happy to be alive. He heads home like nothing happened. He’s pretty sure you were kidnapped, but what could he do? He can’t tell any one of what happened or call the police because technically he isn’t supposed to be meeting with clients, especially not in sketchy areas like that.

Telling the truth would only make things harder for him. He shrugs his shoulders and turns the radio up.

Once in a secluded area, the man parks and opens the van door.

“Please let me go, I won’t tell anyone about this I-“

He takes his mask off and you gasp.

“Y-you..you fucking bastard.”

Jaehyun doesn’t respond, he unties you and with the van door still open, you dash out of the van and run.

Finally, you’re free. Just keep running and then-

You come to an abrupt halt when you realize you’re at the edge of a cliff.

“Shit.” Your eyes widen. 

“Help!!! Help me!!!” You yell but the echo only comes back to you.

“No one can hear you scream out here, sweetheart.” Jaehyun says as he walks towards you at a leisurely pace.

You walk back to him angrily. He smirks slightly.

You slap him hard. “Take me home now! I can’t believe you fucking kidnapped me!” His face swings to the left, and he steps back in surprise. He looks back at you with narrow eyes as he clenches his jaw.

“Saved you. And no, not until you explain what the hell you were doing with that creep.”

“Oh my god…I don’t even know if he’s okay..did you kill him?” Your hands grip your head.

“No, he’ll just be out for a little while.”

“Why the hell would you do that?”

“I could’ve done worse if I wanted to, you already know that.” He steps closer to you. His eyes darken, and that scary, murderous glint in them starts to show through. 

“Now..explain what you were doing…or I WILL go back and kill him so there’s no chance of it happening again.”

“You’re crazy! I don’t owe you an explanation! You mean nothing to me!” You say too fast without realizing that it was a lie and mistake.

Jaehyun is shocked, but he chuckles, tilting his head to the side in a sort of ‘well, well, well’ manner.

Is this what he needs to hear to finally let you go? 

“I-“ you sigh and your voice lowers slightly. “You know what I mean, Jaehyun. We aren’t married, we aren’t dating, we’re not even friends. Why should I explain my personal life to you?”

“So what? I’m supposed to act like I don’t fucking care?”

Your eyes widen as you walk towards him again with frantically moving hands. “Yes! Yes exactly! Because one second you do care and the next you don’t, it’s driving me crazy! What is it that you want?!”

“You already know that answer.” He tilts his head.

“God, Jaehyun. I’m done with your games.” You wave him off and turn away. 

“You didn’t want it, y/n. I saved you.” 

You flick your head back to him. “Well, Batman, guess what? I was so close to getting what I needed! But of course, you make it about yourself.” You put your hands on your hips and look back out at the cliff. “Plus, you scared the shit out of me!”

“And I’m sorry about that, but it was necessary.”

You scoff. “Necessary? You always do what you think is necessary without considering how it might affect me…”

“It’s what’s best for you, y/n.”

You close your eyes tightly. “Oh my God, you’re impossible.” 

After a few seconds of silence, you pretend to walk by him, but quickly grab his pocket knife from his front pocket. He spins around when he notices, but you press it into his neck quickly.

He chuckles before tilting his mouth into a devious smile. “You never told me you were a spy..” he says sarcastically after seeing you move with such precision. 

Truth was, after nearly getting pick pocketed, and possibly worse, on the night he saved you, you took up self-defense classes.

“I’m not playing around, Jaehyun. Take me home.” You press the blade in slightly.

He’s surprised, but he knows you won’t actually hurt him. “Come on y/n..this isn’t you.” 

He has to admit that seeing you like this did turn him on slightly. He feels a twitch in his pants as he imagines you holding the knife to his neck, riding him while you cry his name out to the heavens. Then he’d grab it from you and flip you over so he could pound into you from behind, holding the knife to your neck as he smashes his hips into you. You’d be the prettiest broken thing by the time he’s done with you.

“I’m different now, I’ve seen the things you do, I want nothing to do with you.” You were lying, you still love him. You dream about him nearly every night and your heart races when you think of him, even as you try to remember how cruel he is. 

He steps forward, forcing you to walk backwards to the van, still looking into your wide eyes. 

“W-what are you doing? Stop moving!” You blink rapidly.

“Do it, sweetheart, kill me, if I mean nothing to you…do it.” He smiles.

As turned on as he is right now, he knows that you are heartbroken because of him and now is his chance to be completely honest about his adoration of you. He needed to fix things fast. If you wanted to leave him after this, you should at least know how he feels first.

With the knife still pressed against him, he leans down closer to you. 

“I’m sorry..I’m so sorry. But I miss you..” he searches your panicking eyes before continuing. “I need you, I can’t go five minutes without wishing you were near me. You’re the only person I’ve truly..felt something with and I panicked, I don’t know what to do, I’ve never…”

You swallow hard, but don’t lift the knife away. Not yet. You need to hear more.

He pauses and looks away. “I don’t know. I don’t deserve you, I know that. But I’m a greedy bastard, I want you anyway.” His eyes float downward to your lips. Despite trembling like he expected you to, you don’t remove the knife.

“You can kill me if you’d like, that will be the only way for my mind and body to rest without you..” He continues to close the distance between you. “..but before you do, just kiss me one last time.”

Your mouth falls open. You’re stunned, still searching his eyes for a sign that he may be joking, but of course, no sign is there. The stone cold man with menacing tattoos just revealed how madly in love he is with you and you can’t do anything but stare in shock.

Your mind is telling you to run, to grab the keys, start the van, and drive home. But your heart..your body..your soul..you can’t leave him. 

You stumble and fall into the van. The knife drops out of your hand and Jaehyun leans forward, caging you in between his arms as you lay down. You breathe heavily and stare at each other’s lips.

He wants to taste them so badly, but he waits for you. It could take all night, but he’d wait for you. Just one, that’s all he asks for before this is all over.

And after waiting for a painfully long amount of time, you hold his face with your hand and kiss him. Your heads turn and your tongues explore each other.

He crawls over you, holding himself up with one arm while the other hooks itself under your leg and pushes your knee to your chest. Frantic and steamy breaths cover your bodies.

You lean forward on your elbows, starting to zip your dress down from the back, but he stops you. He picks his pocket knife up and cuts through it easily, causing an embarrassing moan to escape you. You help him take his shirt off too. The look on his face is one of pure hunger and it’s hot.

“I hate you so much.” You say softly then reach for his face again. You kiss harder, so hard your teeth clink against his. 

He leans back to get air after a few seconds then pants as he looks down at your body in a gorgeous lilac lingerie set. “You were really about to let that loser see you in this?” He tilts head while carefully dragging the knife against your bare skin.

You take in a sharp breath as goosebumps raise across it. Answer incorrectly and you could just become a kebab right then and there. But part of you wants to push him

You nod. “If you don’t love me right, I may still let him see it after this .”

His eyes narrow as his tone deepens. “Don’t..push it.”

“Don’t disappoint me..” you hold his face in one hand while looking into his eyes, easily maneuvering your way to his thick hair. He blushes then begins to kiss you as your hands run through this locs. He groans at the feeling of your fingertips on his scalp.

You giggle. “Are you blushing?”

“No..” he groans against your chest, ignoring the way his face feels like it is on absolute fire.

“Liar.” You smile and massage his scalp with your fingers. You unhook your bra and throw it to the side.

He caresses your breasts while kissing you then grabs your legs by the crook of your knees and fixes himself between them. 

“I want you too, Jaehyun..I’ve never felt this way either..but I can’t take you hurting me anymore.” You whisper. “Promise me you won’t hurt me again.”

He kisses your neck. “I promise..to love you and care for you for as long as you’ll let me, y/n.”

He leans back and takes in the sight once more. You look up at him, staring at his defined abs, impressive chest and rock hard biceps. You should’ve recognized him as the masked man from the beginning. Only he could confidently swing you around like you weigh nothing. He drags the cold tip of the knife along your thigh and then hip. You shiver at the feeling, he loves to see your chest rising and falling. 

He uses the knife to tug the fabric covering your pussy. You gasp as you feel the cold object being so close to you.

Then with a quick swipe he cuts through the left strap of your underwear that hugs your hips. “Jaehyun! I love this set! What are you-“

He cuts the other side.

You draw in a sharp breath. “Damn it.” 

“Now..no one else will have seen it but me.” He lightly drags the dull side of the knife along your cloth-covered slit to see goosebumps a little bit longer the second time. When he finally cuts the other side, he removes the wet fabric to see your flower dripping and aching for him. He licks his lips and breathes heavily. He feels he might go crazy if he doesn’t fuck you right away.

He leans down to kiss you again.

His fingers find your folds, collecting the essence. You whimper into his mouth, feeling his digits enter you slowly, stretching you out to prepare for him.

He pulls away to speak softly against your lips. “Are you going to listen to me? Are you going to obey me like a good girl?”

And in the golden hue of the setting sun, he is magnificent. You can’t help but moan and nod. You’ll say yes to anything at this point, he could tell you to walk 100 miles with him in the rain or snow and you’d agree to it.

Your eyes roll back, you shut them and bite your lip as he works his fingers, your hips rocking against his palm.

He leans back and grabs your chin with his other hand. He looks into your eyes with a dark, lustful gaze like he can’t wait to tear you apart. “Speak.”

“Yes…I’ll do whatever you say.” Your eyes round as you look up at him, feeling beautiful in (half of) your special set.

The corner of his mouth lifts slightly. “Perfect.” He pushes his pants down in one quick motion.

“Can you close the van door?” You ask innocently, trying not to look down at his long dick, tip red and swollen with pre cum leaking. He strokes it slowly, watching as you swallow hard.

And if he had time, he’d torture you by forcing you to watch him pleasure himself before decorating your belly with all that he’s saved up for you. 

He’d lick it up, then kiss you so you could taste it too. He’d lick along your opening until you beg for him to stop, then he’d be hard again and start all over. All while not letting you feel his dick.

You’d be unsatisfied like he’s been all these painful weeks without you. The desperate pleading and whiny noises that would escape you would get him there quickly too. Fortunately for you, your pussy feels so good around his fingers, he knows he’d be a fool not to paint your insides tonight.

He looks back at the quiet woods surrounding the van, no one is there, but the thought of someone actually peaking from behind a tree to watch and listen to him fuck you until you’re a sobbing mess makes it hotter. They can see how good he, only himself, can make you feel. They can grow envious of how well you take him, all while not being able to do a damn thing about it.

Of course, he’s being dramatic. No one is there. But it doesn’t mean he won’t put on a show.

He smirks when he turns back to you.

“Why? Scared someone will see you being a complete slut for me? Scared someone will hear you?”

You shake your head. “N-no, it’s just-”

He enters you quickly, pushing in so deep your body can’t help but clench in an effort to push out the penetrative object. You hold back a loud scream as he takes you suddenly.

You arch your back.

“Fuck..nno..I..” you press your hands against his chest. 

“Hmmm what was that?” He pulls out then pushes in again. You feel every ridge, every vein. Even after all this time, you still have each and every inch memorized. It’s like he owns you. Like he’s made you into his own personal fuck toy.

He grabs your waist with both hands and pulls out then pushes all the way back in like he’s trying to beat some world record for deepest penetration.

He goes even deeper than before, knocking the wind out of your chest.

This time, you can’t hold back, you scream loudly and grab his shoulders with both hands. “Jaehyun! I can’t-!”

He chuckles then places both ankles on his shoulders. He places his hand on your stomach. “Relax, my love, have you forgotten how I feel?”

He pulls out completely then pushes in again. He clicks his tongues. “Shame..now this will take more time.”

He stays in and rubs his hand along your stomach while you pant.

You push his pelvis away as your head falls back. “Too much!”

“Nothing is too..” he thrusts. “Much..” he thrusts harder then pulls out. “For..” he thrusts hard enough to shake the entire van.

“You..” he pulls out then pushes completely in again, ruthlessly fucking you to fit him. “I know my good girl can handle it.”

You whine and shake your head. “Jaehyun! Ahhh..I ca-..” he shuts you up with a kiss, licking over your bottom lip and swallowing your tongue as you cry. Your nails dig tiny craters into his back while he drives you insane.

He pulls away and kisses your jaw. “So..tight, my love.” He starts to suck your neck hard.

You feel his hands grip you tightly to hold you still. Tears fall from the sides of your eyes after feeling so stuffed you might break. 

But within a few minutes, you’re meeting him halfway, swaying your hips slightly to get him to hit that spot. You can’t stop mewling and telling him how good it feels. Your head falls back, your mouth falls open. He controls your body with every movement he makes, fulfilling every filthy desire you’ve had for him these last few days. How could you ever hope to be satisfied by anyone else? You want to praise him, you need to praise him. And so you do, chanting his name over and over in between faint and breathy yes’.

“See? You take me so well.” He watches your boobs move up and down with each thrust and even in this dull van, you are vibrant. Your beauty is that of angels that only grace this earth for minutes at a time before returning to heaven. He’s never seen anything like it.

He loves everything about you, from the curve of your top lip to your warm thighs, he can’t get enough. 

“My pretty girl..” he runs his hand down the center of your chest as one hand holds your waist. His hand goes all the way down, just to hover over your clit.

You look down and moan, but quickly swallow it as it’d be embarrassingly loud.

He only laughs while rubbing circles onto your clit. “Cum for me, baby..I can feel you holding it in. Remember, no one can hear you out here.”

He moves in and out more easily as your slick coats him. He leans forward, biting a nipple while his fingertips massage your clit. “Come on..give it to me, sweetheart, I missed you.”

And so you do. You shake and hold his arms for stability, crying out his name amongst swear words only nature can hear. “Good girl…” he teasingly flicks his tongue against your nipple while staying inside you.

Your hand caresses his scalp as you start to come down. You breathe heavily, quickly building sweat on your body.

He leans back and pulls out slowly, staring down at your entrance that leaks all over the floor of the van.

“Give me another one sweetheart, you’re so pretty like this.”

You shake your head. “I’m sensitive..I just need-.” But it’s too late, he’s already slid his slender fingers back into you, brushing against your walls so he can coat them with his own slick. “Wait!”

Your fingernails find his back and scratch into him again as he moves faster. “S-slow…please.”

“You said you’d follow my orders..” he pulls out completely, then pushes his fingers into you. He lays on his side while you still lay on your back, trying to regain your composure.

He watches as your eyes and legs close tightly.

“Let me see my pretty girl..” He swats your legs apart then rubs your clit mercilessly with his other hand. 

“Hnn..not yet, please..” you gasp as you feel the pressure of his fingertips.

“That’s it, right?” He says as he finds your sweet spot. He kisses your lips, swallowing your whimpers. You start to melt.

You can’t take it anymore, you yell his name out into the night and grab his wrist as you climax again. He chuckles, then removes your hand so he can keep moving. A puddle builds under you as your entire body loses all sense of control. “Good girl..look at the mess you’re making.”

You pant and your mouth falls open.

He places his fingers into it. “Taste yourself.” 

You lick around his fingers but his other hand still circles around your clit at a fast pace. Your eyes widen. “Don’t look so shocked.” He gives a sly smile. 

You squirm in his arms, picking your body up from the floor, but his toned body won’t let you escape. 

“It’s what you want..what you need.” He turns you on your side and hugs you tightly from behind. You reach out for the back of the driver seat to try to pull yourself away from him, but your fingertips just brush the black leather.

Jaehyun chuckles.

“Where are you going? You have to give me more..” he holds you tightly against him, entering you once more. 

“No more, please!” you push against his hips, but there’s no use. He continues to hold onto you and make you mush.

He moves repeatedly as you reach out for anything to grab, but only finding the cold metal of the van.

“Jaehyun!” Your head falls back. You shut your eyes tightly, feeling that ache in the pit of your stomach grow stronger. You have no choice but to accept that he won’t let you go. He stimulates you so well, you wonder how you can cry out for release, but desire more at the same time.

“Imagine someone IS out there..imagine they’re watching us and touching themselves right now..you’d like that, wouldn’t you?” he whispers into your ear.

Unfortunately, your pussy betrays you by clenching at the possibility.

He chuckles lowly and it makes goosebumps raise. “That’s my girl..you like people watching you take my seed…it’s gonna be so deep inside, and you’re gonna show them how well you hold it in for me like a good girl, right?”

All you can do is whimper. 

He chuckles when seeing how mesmerized you are by him. Your mouth falls open but nothing comes out.

“What if I keep you here? Breed you over and over?” He places his hand on your stomach again. “You’d be even prettier with a swollen belly and big, full tits. What do you say?“

You moan loudly and tremble.

Everything he says pushes you closer, you can’t think straight, you want to feel him everywhere. He’s all you can think about. 

“Sweetheart? I need an answer.” He nips the back of your neck.

“Yes..yes!”

You quiver around him. His steamy breath hits the back of your ear while he bends over you.

“Yes that’s it, this pretty pussy wants more and more..it’s never satisfied.” His low voice ruins you.

You clench uncontrollably and cum again, this time you lose your breath and nearly pass out. You’re so weak, all you can focus on is steadying your body.

He turns you over onto your stomach, grabbing your ass before staring at your dripping and swollen entrance.

He slides his dick in between the slit to tease both himself and you, watching as you flinch from the sensation. “You’re so wet today, maybe I’ll fuck you in public more often.”

His hands grip your waist once more, pulling you back onto his cock. 

He pushes into you slowly this time. His arms wrap tightly around your chest as if he is afraid you’ll slip away at any moment. His fingers pinch your nipples as he groans.

“You smell so good..” his face rests on the back of your neck, he kisses it and breathes heavily. 

You moan as he moves slowly against your aching walls.

“Are you ready to take it all?”

You nod and whimper. “Yes.” There’s no point in telling him you’re still reeling from your last climax and are too sensitive for the next one. He needs you now and he won’t stop for anything.

“Say it.”

“I..l” you close your eyes tightly.

“Come on sweetheart, look at me.” He places a hand to your chin to turn your head towards his. You look over your shoulder and into the eyes of the dark haired man bringing you to the edge with deliciously long strokes. He’s beautiful, a work of art even.

With your eyes locked you lick your lips. “Make me yours…I need you..”

Jaehyun’s movement stutters. He holds himself back from cumming just from your words and glossy eyes alone. He can’t believe this is real, he can’t believe he isn’t dreaming of making love to you right now and is actually doing it.

He kisses you and groans into your mouth, while your fingers still intertwine with his hair. His grip on your hip tightens and he moves faster.

“I need you too, my love..so badly.. keep me in”

“Yes..yes!” You arch your back again. You can’t believe yourself right now. Thirty minutes ago you wanted to kill this man, and yet, here you are allowing him to fuck your brains out and make you so stupid you can only think about being full enough to bear children for him.

His fingers move to your clit again and you see stars, your body tenses and you can’t stop clenching around him. 

You feel his abs flex on your back. “You can handle it right? Please..please tell me you can.” He speaks right over your round lips, and his voice is higher now. You gasp at the sound of his suddenly desperate and breathy pleas.

“God yes! I can! I’m your good girl..” you cry out. He feels so good, you can’t take it. You know you sound pathetic, but it doesn’t matter. The idea of being fucked until you’re leaking for days is so hot to you, it’s nothing but embarrassing.

“Tell me..you love me..tell me…please.” His voice cracks slightly in between his groans.

You look into his glossy eyes, searching them for a light that will tell you how he truly feels. You hesitate to tell him the truth. Not for fear that it will break his heart, but that it will break yours.

You love him, however, it’s never enough to make him stay.

“I love you..”

“Again..” he pants.

“I love..you.” 

“Again..”

“I love you, Jaehyun.” You whimper.

“Again, sweetheart..” he moves faster, feeling dizzy with how tightly you hold him.

“Jaehyun..please..I love you..Jaehyun.”

His fingertips dig into your skin. “One more.” He could listen to you chant his name in between “I love you’s” all day and night.

“I love you so much..I need you.” You let out as your body grows weaker.

“Yes, that’s it..I’m here for you, my love..take it.” He releases deep inside you, moving slowly to ensure you have every drop. He holds you fast against him until he’s sure your skin will be sore for a few days.

You moan loudly, convulsing around him before your body collapses.

“Fuck...” he lets out breathlessly when he pulls out. He lays down beside you and hugs you from behind for a few minutes.

“I’m sorry..”

You brace yourself, you can’t believe he’s doing this again. “..for what?”

“For ruining your beautiful set..I’ll get you another one.” 

You breathe a sigh of relief and smile.

You both get up and try to get dressed with what’s left.

Jaehyun takes his shirt up and drapes it over you. You tie the remnants of your dress around your hips to turn it into a skirt. You then get into the passenger seat as he gets into the driver seat, and head home.

When you’re halfway there, you notice Jaehyun doesn’t head in the direction of your place. “Wait..where-“

“I’m taking you home.” He drives with one hand on the steering wheel. 

“Home?” You smile to yourself, hoping he doesn’t look over to see how excited you are.

Once at his ridiculously large apartment, he runs a bath for you and cleans you thoroughly. You relax in the tub after he places epsom beads into the hot water to soothe your aching body. You close your eyes and feel him gently pour water over your back. It’s quiet. You’re too hoarse to speak, meanwhile Jaehyun is too nervous to say the first word. 

Jaehyun thinks about how much he loves you as never in his life has he pleaded for anything and especially not during sex. He doesn’t know how you do it, but you’ve got a hold on him unlike anything else. After several minutes, he speaks up.

He sits on the edge of the tub. “If you can give me another chance, I promise not to mess it up. I need you.”

You look into his eyes. “..you scare me.”

He stops moving. “I’m sorry.”

“You change your mind and act differently every day, and with no regard for other people. You have to let me know what you want.”

He leans down and kisses you deeply. When he pulls away he kisses your forehead. “Does that answer it?”

You smile softly and nod. 

He then lays you in his bed and after he showers, you fall asleep as he rubs your back and looks onto your soft face.

The truth is, you scare him too. These feelings are all too new to him. He used to live without care for anyone, even himself. Risking his life daily, for he did not care what would happen to him. But now..now he has someone to care for..someone to live for. You are someone he wants to be better for and the power you hold over him for this reason is scary. He felt this longing and care for you even before you let him touch you. Just being your friend was something he was grateful for, but now that you returned his feelings, he truly felt the magnitude of his desire for you.

The next morning, you’re happy to see you’re still in Jaehyun’s arms.

He’s happy to feel you next to him in reality, he doesn’t have to dream about it for once.

[The Next Night]

Johnny loosens his tie as he watches his neighbor pull into his driveway. He sits in his car before heading into his house, sighing while looking out into the night sky. One day, just one day, he’d like to be able to leave work on time. Overtime is his least favorite thing in the world—just in front of gang leaders of course. They make his job incredibly difficult. As the lead detective in his unit, he always has to pick up where the officers slack off at. To make matters worse, he went to his favorite spot for lunch, but the owner wasn’t there for once. He just hopes she’s okay. Maybe she’s getting some well deserved rest finally, he thinks to himself. Although, he finds it odd that you did promise to let him try out a new recipe for an Italian inspired bread. You were so excited when you spoke to him about it two days ago, and yet, you didn’t show.

“And the final touch is oregano! I’m so excited about it, you have to try it on Thursday for me! I trust your opinion.” You said with a wide smile as you sat with him. 

“Cute.” He thought to himself as he watched your eyes crinkle.

Suddenly, something catches Johnny’s eye. His neighbor’s front driver window is broken or rather-crumbling apart as he drives in.

He leaves his car and walks over to him.

“What happened?” Johnny’s brows furrow.

His neighbor jumps, startled by the deep voice just behind (and above) his head.

“Oh! UHhh hmmm..well..I work at a bank you know..sometimes people uhhh think I take money home with me haha!” The banker laughs loudly.

Johnny stands there with a stern expression. He doesn’t find it funny.

The banker then clears his throat. “Yeah umm someone broke into it..”

“Did you see them?”

“..kinda.” He shrugs

“Oh that’s terrible..come by tomorrow to submit an official re-“

“No!” The banker raises his voice suddenly, shocking Johnny into stillness.

“I mean..it’s all good, it’s not necessary. I was out on unofficial business anyway!”

Johnny continues. “Are you sure?”

“Yup! I have insurance too so it’ll be fixed within 24 hours! You have a good night!” He waves and starts to walk away.

Johnny watches and wonders why he’d be so nonchalant about the entire thing.

“Quick question..” he calls out and the banker turns hesitantly.

“What did they look like? I’d like to at least know that in case they continue to rob others in the city.”

“Of course! Although..I can’t describe him well..”

“It was a man?”

“Yes..that much I know.. a relatively tall man..he wore all black..a thick black turtleneck and black mask so I couldn’t see anything..”

“What did he use to break into your car?”

The banker chuckles. “You’re not gonna believe this but..he used his fist.”

Johnny’s eyes grow. What kinda maniac breaks through glass like that?

“Anyway! Goodnight!” The banker runs off into his house.

[Two Days Later]

You head back into work like normal, returning after receiving calls from a numerous amount of people asking where you were. It’s unlike you to be missing from your bakery for so long.

Truth is, you and Jaehyun spent A LOT of time together. Each time you tried to recover from your..sessions..Jaehyun would start all over again. It’s clear to see he missed you dearly. Luckily, you knew he didn’t just miss your body. He missed laughing with you too. You watched movies together and he even cooked for you. You couldn’t be happier to be in an official relationship with him.

“I’ll see you later.” You kiss his cheek and pull away. The two of you were leaning against his car, unconcerned about whoever saw you flirting with each other for 15 minutes.

Johnny watches from inside the bakery, sitting at the counter and sipping his coffee.

He looks at Jaehyun who wears a simple black T-shirt and jeans. The tall man looked good, but not as good as he’d look without all those ridiculous drawings in his body. He chuckles, is that jealousy he feels? He could end all of this by just arresting Jaehyun. You’d be safe, he’d be put behind bars finally.. Johnny knows what Jaehyun does, however he  doesn’t have enough evidence to put him away for a long time. Jaehyun kept things clean.

What are you doing with him? With a dangerous man that has tattoos covering his neck and arms?

“..covering his neck..” Johnny looks at the counter as he thinks to himself

a thick black turtleneck…

He remembers the banker's description. Who wears a thick black turtleneck in June? Normally, robbers wore a hoodie or thin sweatshirt

His eyes float back up to Jaehyun.

Jaehyun pulls you back for one final kiss and that’s when Johnny sees it.

A bruised right hand with little cuts along his knuckles.

Johnny’s eyes widen, but he quickly becomes calm when you walk in with a wide smile. “Hi! How are you?” You say with a grin.

You’re glowing, and Johnny feels that jealousy tinge in his chest again.

He takes a moment to respond. You put your bags down in the back then come back out while putting your apron on.

“Johnny? Everything okay?”

“Oh! Yes..yes of course…I see you took some time off.”

You smile brightly. “Yes! I needed a little break. I’m glad Mark was able to keep the place in one piece.” You laugh as you look around the somewhat clean bakery.

“Where did you go?”

“Oh..I was here..I mean, in the city..I just spent some time with my..boyfriend.” You smile even harder and giggle to yourself.

He forces a smile. “That’s nice to hear, y/n. I’m glad you’re back.”

“Thanks, Johnny!” You start to load the display with freshly baked cookies and cupcakes as Johnny gets back to drinking his coffee.

If you knew the kind of person Jaehyun was..why would you decide to date him? Jaehyun had to have been hiding his identity from you, Johnny thinks to himself.

And robbing a banker? That’s a low, petty crime for Jaehyun. Why would he do something like that himself? Surely, he’d have one of his minions do it? There were many questions on Johnny’s mind as he sipped quietly. He knows he has to find the answers quickly so he can free you from the deadly man that is Jaehyun.

To Be Continued....

[konigofmyheart]

long way down ᥫ᭡ pt 2

MDNI!

part 1

you enlist könig’s help in getting benji (your ex) back, but your grand plan might not go as expected…

(virgin fem!reader, implied age gap: reader is mid 20’s, readers ex is mentioned as destructive in the past + currently rude/a jerk. aside from that, general rom com silliness with könig! eventual smut in pt 3, i promise <3)

♡ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ౨ৎ ‧₊ .ᐟ

you’re not quite sure how you ended up here, enjoying a slice of pie across a giant soldier who looks like something straight from one of those hero comic books benji was obsessed with when you two were growing up. well, there was the reason: benji. he’s the reason you picked up that call from an unknown number, the reason you stayed on the line when a man that definitely wasn’t benji- someone with a more weathered voice, a faint sense of… resignation? lacing ever accented syllable- told you he worked with benji, which a quick pop quiz about benji’s birthday and appearance confirmed. you were a bit disappointed when he told you how he got your number- clearly benji was still very upset at you if he just tossed your letter away like that- and you were a little embarrassed to think of this man having read it, but maybe this was a good thing…

you stayed in contact with this könig guy, bit of an odd name, but he kept you updated about benji’s well being every time you asked. it was better than the radio silence from benji himself. your contact with könig became regular, phone calls and texts almost everyday for weeks, because you needed someone- anyone- to listen to your benji-centered rants, as your friends refused to hear anymore of him (for some odd reason) and könig already knew all the embarrassing details of your “relationship” from the letter anyway.

the daily conversations with könig actually turned friendly, telling him of yourself and your days and, in turn, asking about him, unable to help being intrigued by this enigma. judging by his age, he’d have to have been at this soldier business long enough to have good stories, and he proved this time and time again, weaving each scene so vividly it was like a movie playing in your head, narrated by his voice. you’d compliment him when he spoke of victories, and wince when he’d detail injuries, even the very toned down version making your skin prickle at the mere thought of experiencing such a thing.

from these long talks you pieced together that he was a pretty good guy, a teensy bit old fashioned and a little awkward sometimes, certainly littered with scars, but you couldn’t help but find that kinda cool. he laughed on the other end of the line when you told him your analysis of him, a quiet “thank you, schatzi” curling from the speaker to your ear. it was this budding friendship that made you confident enough to meet him at a cafe only a couple miles from benji’s- and könig’s- base, him enjoying his strawberry tart and you with your slice of pie…

if he squints enough, he can imagine you’re here for him. that you’re on a date night at this kinda shabby cafe because you missed him so much back home that you had to see him now, that should he reach out and take your hand, you’d smile instead of looking at him funny. that after this you’ll ask him to take a break from work and go back home with you, and he’d do it without question because what better way to live than to spend everyday in your presence, going grocery shopping with you, then making dinner for you as you talk about anything and everything from your spot on the counter, like- “how was benji this morning? he hasn’t gotten hurt or anything?”you ask. right. stevens is the one you’d want in those scenarios, the one always on your mind.

könig clears his throat, shifting slightly as he pulls himself from the hazy pool of fantasy, his knees reaching well across the tiny booth, caging your legs in on either side, something he kept apologizing for until you waved him off. you knew he didn’t have any other choice than to fold himself like that, your jaw almost dropping to the floor when he stood upon you walking in through the door. he’d told you how to find him, but “black mask” (which he’d told you he wore everyday, and you’d assumed he’d meant like those blue paper ones, but it turns out it was more of a cloth shroud, red streaks dripping down the front) and “kinda tall” didn’t really cover his exact essence….

you snap yourself out of your reverie, and he tilted his head a bit as if playfully admonishing you for not hearing him. “i said, he’s fine, but you had a plan? about ste- benjamin?” he asked again, his observant ocean blue eyes fully fixated on you. “ah. yes, actually! you said you seen some rom coms, yeah?”

“a few, only because horangi- you remember him, right?” a quick nod from you, your eyes sparking as you remembered all his stories featuring the legendary horangi, made könig smile behind his mask. “-he insisted i watch some with him after one of his girlfriends made him watch first. so, ja, i’ve seen a couple, but i don’t see what that has to-“

“did any of them happen to include fake dating?” you ask, your smile a bit tense as you look off to the side, waiting with bated breath for his reaction. he opens his mouth to start, closing it again and repeating a couple of times, until he finally says “you think that’ll make benjamin speak to you again?”

sensing possible acceptance, you’re back to fully facing him, your eyes practically sparkling as you make your case. “yes! i know it’s movies, but movies are based on real life, aren’t they? it’s only natural to think that he would get jealous if he thinks he’s losing me to someone else. i’ve tried reaching out to him and that’s all gone ignored, so the only logical thing would be to do the opposite: pretend i’m done with him… right?” you ask, looking up at könig with such a delicate-as-glass hopeful expression in your pretty eyes.

könig swears you’re a trial sent by some higher power, a test of his self control and reasoning. right now all he wants to do is kneel in front of you and beg you to forget stevens, to give him a chance instead; he’ll agree to anything you ask for, he’ll make it happen, just let him try- but that’s the problem. you want to try for stevens, and he can tell you won’t give up that easily. it’s a foolish plan you’ve proposed, really, but he can’t say no to you when you’re looking at him like he’s your only hope. call it classic male bravado or the need to help a pretty thing in distress, but “ja, i’ll do it”. now you beam at him, your smile lighting up the rainy evening outside, reaching out with your soft hand to give his a giant paw a little squeeze. “thank you, könig! i knew i could count on you.”

“so, as they say in these movies, what are the rules for this act well put on, so it’ll be convincing without overstepping your boundaries?” he asks, slipping his mug under his mask to take a sip of his now lukewarm tea. “oh, please, we don’t need all that! you’re a proper gentleman, and you’ve given no reason for me to not trust your judgment, so any scandalous hand holding is fine by me” you tease, laughing a bit at how serious he is. you can’t help but notice how different he is than benji. you can’t really picture benji asking anyone about boundaries, he’s more of a do first, apologize after guy, he has been since as long as you’ve known him- “cut it out, i was just making sure, schatzi. i wouldn’t want to do anything that would make you uncomfortable”.

“don’t worry about that, kö. i’m willing to do whatever it takes for this to work. we’ll be as sappy and clingy as we can be, without it causing you trouble at work, of course…”

“i’ve told you, it’s not exactly a by-the-book type of place. things are slow right now anyway, you can visit anytime you’d like. i’ll add your name under mine in the visitor log so you’ll be let in.”

“then we’re all set.”

“all systems go” he replies, indulging your offer for a fist bump.

♡ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ౨ৎ ‧₊ .ᐟ

naturally, for your first visit, he got pulled in to a meeting that still hadn’t ended even now that you were parking outside. he managed to text you under the table, telling you he’d be out to greet you as soon as he could, that it was wrapping up already, apologizing profusely for the wait. you couldn’t help but be proud that his texts nowadays had zero spelling errors. when you first began communicating, it was as if he was using a toy phone, although the mashed letters made sense now that you’ve seen how big he is. you smile to yourself as you text back, telling him it’s no big deal before tossing your phone in your purse and heading to the door.

should you wait for könig? probably, but what if you could see benji and talk before even kicking off this whole fake dating sham? you wouldn’t have to bother könig, and you’d have benji back quicker. that’s the thought that makes you bold enough to get through the security check (the guard’s eyebrows almost go into her hairline as she confirms that, indeed, you are listed as könig’s guest), and then from there it’s only a matter of navigating through signs and helpful people who direct you all the way to the canteen.

you were just about to text könig to let him know you’d made it inside already when you heard his voice. “are you fucking serious? jesus christ- how’d you even get in here? you’re really so desperate you’re stalking me now?” benji asks incredulously, crossing his arms and standing as tall as he can as he looks down at you, his friends staring at you curiously. sooo he’s clearly still not over the whole break up thing. you should have known better than to expect he’d have gotten over it. before you can even answer, only getting a little puff of air out as you feel your face heat with embarrassment, he tosses his head as he looks at his snickering friends. “what did i tell you guys? i told y’all this one was like this, all clingy and-“

“i’m here to see könig” you cut in, steadying your voice as you tighten your grip on your phone. you sure didn’t miss this benji, the arrogant, rude version of him that always came out when you’d done something dumb. you can’t deny that it’s a bit gratifying seeing the way his face pales as he processes what you’ve just said, some of his friends mouths parting with surprise.

“könig?? ha, now i know you’re lying. where would you have even met someone like him?” you only have a second to mentally kick yourself for not settling on a meet cute story, torn between a day in the park or a cafe mix up, but you’re saved from answering by your new angel on earth.

“morning, men” came könig’s voice from behind you. you damn near lost your soul from that sudden surprise, the big guy being eerily silent despite his frame, and you were so thankful könig placed his arm around you as if to pull you close- steadying you, actually- ready to play the part of your new wonderful boyfriend.

“morning, sir! we were just talking to your…” pipes up one of benji’s buddies, carefully crafting his statement to corner könig. könig plays into it, clearing his throat and shifting on his feet as if he wasn’t prepared to say it, but now that they’re twisting his arm like this, well- “girlfriend” he supplies, and you put on your most convincing smile as you lean into him more. stevens has that expression on his face that he always makes when he feels the need to punch something. the various holes in your place’s drywall can attest to that, as can that little collection of ceramic bunnies you adored, before they became shards in your bin, hell, even that sketch you did for art class in grade school that he tore in half because he forgot to do his and you didn’t even remind him. he’s always been a little temperamental like that, a classic leo, he just feels a lot so-

“you ready for your tour, liebe?” könig asks softly, gently giving your waist a squeeze, bringing you out of your less than happy memories. “yes! i’ve been so excited to finally see the haunted vending machine” you gush, making sure to include a detail that would make stevens and his friends realize you and könig really do know each other, well enough for him to have even told you the legend of the old candy machine in the rec room.

nothing compares to the sense of accomplishment you feel at benji’s pointed glare burning the back of your head as you two walk away. maybe by tonight he’ll be asking for you back, apologizing for being so cold and rude! your heart flutters at the thought of seeing a message from him pop up on your phone again. “how was the drive? not too difficult, i hope?” it’s such a mundane, polite question, könig’s tone casual and quiet, yet the way he’s cupping your face and making you look up at him makes it seem anything but. you know it’s an act, that he’s laying it on thick because they’re still watching you two down the hall, yet you can’t help but feel a little flustered when he gently strokes your cheek with his thumb, his glove surprisingly soft despite being so durable. guess that fits with him, hm?

this lighting is brighter than the cafe’s, giving you a far better view of his eyes, blue as a summer sky, his pupil eclipsed with a rim of icy looking waves that make your answer catch in your throat- and just like that, you turn the corner and he’s quick to put a more respectable distance between the two of you, your cheek missing the warmth of his large hand. “wow, schatzi, you’re a natural at this. that pretending to get lost in my eyes thing was genius” he praises, his eyes crinkling behind his mask as he smiles at you. you duck your head under the pretense of checking your purse, collecting yourself before you look up at him again with an easy smile. “you know me, i commit to the bit every time!“

and commit you do… any time könig has a slow day, you’re there at base. of course, in truth, he simply stays up later every night, sloughing through paperwork and reviewing plans that he put off during the day just to spend time with you, assuring you he absolutely had time for your act. you’d scold him if you knew, but your visits have become beacons of light in his otherwise dreary days. you put on a five star show everyday, starting with könig presenting you with a beautiful bouquet of perfect flowers, fresh from a local market that you make sure to loudly ask him to take you to, relishing in the way benji grips his mug tightly as he watches you from across the canteen. you sniff the flowers and smile at könig with such warm affection when he rests his hand on your thigh.

you bring in könig’s hoodie a couple days later, playfully scolding him for forgetting it at your place when he visited (has he actually visited? no, but benji doesn’t need to know that! könig simply handed it to you before you left base the day before, exactly for this set up). könig damn near coos at you, a soft “oh, liebe, i left it on purpose so you’d wear it to bed and dream of me. you looked so cute when you were almost drowning in it the other day” he quips back. the blush that blooms on your cheeks isn’t entirely fake… you’d never imagined könig saying something so cheesy, certainly not to you, that must be why you’re flustered. either way, it’s effective because benji instantly announces to his friends he’s gotta go, quickly exiting the rec area.

you could even swear benji’s about to pop a blood vessel when he sees you and könig “messing around” in the gym, könig having angled his head and bent so it seems he was just finishing kissing you when stevens walked in, a breathy, giggled “oops, we have to be more careful, baby” dropping from your lips as you pretend to be embarrassed about being caught making out with könig, making a show of brushing his hand away where it rests scandalously low on your back. you smile at könig as the loud thud of benji practically launching his bag at the floor sounds through the room.

könig truly surprises you with how committed to the act he is, performing as the perfect boyfriend every week. he gets you your favorite snacks, gets comfy throw blankets for you to use when you hang out on the weathered couch in his office, sets up a little speaker and projector so you can amuse yourself when he gets suddenly called to a quick meeting, cooks for you on days you don’t want to eat in the canteen,- he even introduced you to his friends a couple days into your “relationship” and everything! you can count on one single hand the amount of words benji’s friends have said to you, and you’re like 95% certain they don’t even know your name, yet horangi and stiletto are so kind to you.

when you first met, stiletto made a show of loudly whispering “how’d this old man score you, bella? you can tell me if he’s paying you” as horangi frisked könig, saying he was checking to make sure könig didn’t have some love spell he was using on you. könig rolled his eyes, shooing stiletto away from you, gallantly making himself their sole target. “oh c’mon, it’s not everyday we get to have fun like this, right?” she’d complained, waking over to nudge horangi. he was about to answer when könig hooked an arm around each of them, a grumbled “you two have fun at my expense everyday” leaving him before the three launched into a playful scuffle, gripping and shoving at each other. you can’t help but laugh, it’s like watching three big guard dogs romp and play like puppies.

könig’s got height on his side, though, able to capture them in a gentle headlock. “oh, don’t be so hard on them, kö!” you giggle, not even noticing benji’s walked in to the canteen behind you. könig instantly releases the trouble makers, straightening up like- well like a scolded puppy. horangi and stiletto look at könig in awe, then over to you. “where have you been all these years?? we’re gonna need you here 24/7 as the official könig handler!” horangi jokes, earning a quick slap upside the head from könig. you spent the rest of that visit chatting with them, getting an inside scoop on könig’s most embarrassing moments in the field. he didn’t even mind the stories, not when you were laughing like that, you’re entire face lit up as you leaned in to him, teasing him for that time he accidentally brought a little shack tumbling down around him when he stood to full height.

a couple weeks after your first meeting, they’re cheering you on as you punch at könig’s hand, the three of them having insisted you at least learn a little self defense. “every woman should know how to fend off a creep if need be, bella. you might even be able to help someone out, too”, stiletto assured, and that’s what replayed in your mind every time you got a bit tired or thought of calling it for the day. könig’s praises every time you landed a particularly hard hit also helped- more than you’d like to admit, really. when you actually managed to finish a full set, a long series of consistent powerful strikes and punches at könig’s hands, he caught you up, effortlessly spinning you around. you laughed and clung to him, grinning at his loud “that’s it, schatzi!”

you’re still glowing with all three of their praises as you head to the canteen, having insisted on getting them a cold refreshing drink since they’d worked out far harder than you, lifting and squatting giant weights that made your jaw drop. könig had reluctantly agreed after asking if you’re sure you didn’t want him to be the water boy instead, and you found yourself amused at the storm in his eyes as he debated between being a chivalrous hero or putting a vote of confidence in you. really, what’s the worst that could happen just walking a couple halls and back?

you quickly found out on your return trip, almost dropping the four ice cold bottles of water cradled in your arms when you rounded the corner into benji. in true, classic benji fashion, he quickly took control of the moment, exuding smugness as he crossed his arms to look down at you. “you can drop the act already. i can tell it’s fake… or at least only about as serious as we were. you’ve never once stayed the night here, and he hasn’t stayed at your place either. he’s never been signed out of base at night- i’ve checked. was i supposed to believe you’ve finally stopped being a prude just for that old man?” he sneered, smirking as if he’d caught you. he had, but you weren’t about to let all the work you and könig had put into this scheme go to waste for nothing! the coolness of the bottles helped you steel yourself as you coached your face into a relaxed expression. “it’s really none of your business, but since you’re apparently so consumed by concern, i’ll inform you that i am staying with him. tonight, actually.”

it was like you’d dropped a bomb in this harshly lit hallway, benji’s eyes narrowing at you as he gauged if you were truly serious. it had always stung a little anytime benji forgot things about you, as if your preferences and stories weren’t worth remembering, or when he couldn’t tell how you really felt, as if you weren’t worth understanding, but now you were thankful for his lack of care and insight. it’s what made every moment believable in his eyes, and he must have bought this lie too, or else he wouldn’t have called out a “if you get tired of trying to keep his cock up tonight, you know where to find me” after you, his gross attitude making you cringe as you walked quicker, wanting to be back with könig and his friends.

the metaphorical tendrils of the benji’s jealousy wove around you as you walked back to the gym, making you wonder if any of this was right or even worth it, but that all faded away to nothingness when you found könig right at the gym doors, having apparently just stepped out. “you took a while… is everything alright?” he asks, your name said so gently at the end of his question, his voice soothing your nerves and worries. “yes?” you wince at the way it sounds more like a question than an answer, and könig tilts his head, his eyes sparking, saying he knows something’s up without having to physically say it.

“okay… so i just bumped into benji- he’s in a total mood, i guess that means our plan is working well enough… although, he said he’s sure we aren’t that serious since i’ve never stayed the night, so you see how he left me no choice, right? i mean, what was i supposed to say? just fess up without him asking for me back? there was no way i’d do that! all our work would’ve gone down the drain, so… i said i’m staying with you tonight- if you don’t mind having a roommate, that is. i’ll take the couch or floor or whatever, don’t worry, anything to see his face tomorrow when he realizes i did stay the night!” you finish a little breathlessly, your face warming from your rant.

könig simply laughs a little, nodding as he takes the bottles from your arms, his hands shaking the tiniest bit. “that’s perfectly fine by me. i’m sure horangi and stiletto will appreciate having you around longer. they’re already asking about the next time you’ll visit. it seems you’ve made quite an impression on those two”.

♡ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ౨ৎ ‧₊ .ᐟ

that night, könig sighs at you from his side of the bed, tugging the blanket up to his chest. “don’t even think about arguing again, i already said it: if you sleep on the floor, then i will too.” you warn, having fought long and hard to wrangle this stubborn-as-a-goat man into the bed with you.

by the time you stepped out of his attached bathroom, wearing one of his shirts and some shorts stiletto handed you with a wink upon hearing you needed extra clothes as you were staying the night, he was settling onto the floor, the quietest groan leaving him at the soreness from the intense work out today. he really shouldn’t have done twice as many reps each set with the barbell than he usually does, but how could he have stopped when you were looking at him with such awe, marveling about how strong he was? that’s what he gets for trying to act like he’s still some tireless 20 something year old, the price of impressing you being the ache in his left knee and right shoulder. at this point, he’s really only got about 10 more years before the higher ups will start hinting at retiring from the field, sticking him in a full time desk job, each of his days spent in dreary paperwork and bland coffee and- your confused “what are you doing?” cuts through his wallowing, and he clears his throat as he looks up at you from his spot on the floor.

“going to sleep?… what else would i be doing with a pillow and blanket on the floor, schatzi? just step over me as needed-”

“oh, absolutely not! get up right now. how are you gonna sleep on the cold floor while i’m all comfy in bed? i told you i’d take the floor. it’s my fault i’m here tonight-“

“nein, you are my guest, so you get the bed. that’s how it works. i’ve slept worse places anyway” he waved you off, internally shuddering as he recalled the time the team had to sleep in the woods during a summer storm- everything was drenched and humid that day, and the swarms of mosquitoes were a nightmare-

“which is exactly why you should spend every night possible in a proper bed! we’d both fit perfectly! it’s giant.” you never knew he had it in him to be this stubborn and difficult; he’d done everything else you said with zero pushback, yet now he was sitting on the floor, arms crossed like a kid throwing a tantrum, refusing to take the bed. it’d be laughable how you two were bickering like a genuine couple if you weren’t so mortified at the thought of being the only one sleeping well tonight.

that’s how you ended up here, könig stiffly laying in bed next to you after he caved at your threat of joining him on the floor as well. he’d literally rather die than have you sleep on the floor, hell, he was worried if his firm mattress would be comfortable enough for you, but your soft sigh as you lay down soothed his worries. “oh my god, i love your bed. it’s so supportive, especially for my back after those exercises today-” you heard footsteps at the door, seeing the shadow of feet stopping right outside, no doubt benji checking to see if you really stayed the night. you made your voice a bit louder, making sure he’d hear that you were indeed in könig’s room. “-but, this weekend, can we stay at my place? we won’t have to worry that much about being quiet…” you say, employing your most flirty tone.

“of course, liebe. You know your wishes are my command; i could never say no to you.” könig replies without missing a beat, though you mouth a silent “liar” at him, still stuck on all arguing you had to do just a while ago, grinning as benji’s shadow fading from beneath the door-apparently he heard all he needed to hear. könig offers you a conciliatory high five, and now you give in, unable to just leave him hanging.

the two of you spend the rest of the night whispering about anything and everything, sleep slowly tugging you in and out of consciousness until you’re just answering him with muffled “mhm”s and sprinkling in an occasional “hm” for variety, trying so hard to keep track of his rant about star wars, but his voice is so soothing and husky with sleep, and the scent of piney earthiness that always clings to him floods your senses, making it impossible to stay awake. you smile drowsily at his hushed apology for keeping you awake, his soft “gute nacht, taube” settling like a warm spark in your chest as you nod off, a familiar pair of baby blue eyes sneaking into your dreamland.

the morning sunlight filtering in through the high windows on the far wall flickering across your face is what lured you from your dreams, a soft groan slipping from you as you pop your back just right before snuggling against your pillow, feeling the blanket pull tight around your body. you can’t remember the last time you slept so well, blinking the heavy sleep from your eyes and bracing your hand on the pillow to sit up- wait… your eyes trail upward, your chin now resting on warm, firm chest, your breath hitching when you feel könig’s arm tighten around your waist…

♡ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ౨ৎ ‧₊ .ᐟ

part 3 <3

taglist (lmk if you want on or off the list <3): @distinguishedprincesstrash @practicalgauntlet @captain-ofmusic @darkangel4121 @laduenadelswing

[fernwehreader]

ACOSF Bonus Chapter: Lit Analysis

This will be long, and I apologize in advance. But I continue to see the most mind-boggling interpretations of Azriel's ACOSF bonus chapter, that it’s impossible for me to keep quiet. If I see one more take that this chapter is unimportant, an indication of Elain's book being next, or how it's setting up an Elain and Azriel relationship, I fear I may lose my mind.

In my opinion, Azriel’s ACOSF bonus chapter is a crucial piece in the bridge to ACOTAR 5 (which will be Azriel's book). When I teach my high school students to analyze literature, I stress the importance of asking the question, "SO WHAT?" This helps to understand the purpose of the text and potential authorial intent.

So, I'd like to go through that exercise a bit with the bonus chapter (primarily for my own benefit) to underscore the critical elements of its structure and what SJM may be trying to do with it.

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"SO WHAT?" #1: The bonus chapter is meant to introduce Azriel's POV and set up his arc for the next full-length ACOTAR novel. This chapter is the first time we get Azriel's perspective -- a deliberate choice that signals something important to the reader. He is stepping out of the shadows (ha!) literally and figuratively to make the transition away from being a side character.

For the first time, SJM is deliberately shining a spotlight on Azriel to show that he, too, is fractured and facing his own crossroads. The bonus chapter offers a glimpse into Azriel's internal conflict to communicate that he has a story to tell.

I see comments within the fandom that are critical of Azriel in this chapter regarding his re-gifting of the necklace, how he views Elain as an object he is owed, or in his attitude during his argument with Rhys. Friends, THAT IS THE POINT. We are meant to see Azriel at an incredibly stark low-point. It not only contrasts what's to come later in the chapter, but it is further establishing that this character is fractured and must now prepare to embark on his own healing journey. And, as part of this, SJM begins to deconstruct the idealized version of Azriel that readers have gotten to know. The brooding and stoic warrior has been "humanized" in a sense -- in the bonus chapter, a confused male in need of personal growth emerges.

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"SO WHAT?" #2: This chapter relies on purposeful authorial intent to present a symbolic shift away from Elain which then foreshadows a future relationship with Gwyn. I know this has been discussed at length within the fandom, so I won't dwell too much on it here. But I will stress that SJM is hitting the reader over the head with the truth that there is nothing sustainable to explore between Azriel and Elain romantically. It is a surface-level, lust-filled, infatuation on Azriel's part, fueled only by the delusion that the "thirds" must be paired up. Azriel is so desperate for a mating bond that his recklessness is in overdrive at this moment. This first half of the chapter is so important because once Azriel leaves Rhys, the reader gets swept away on a pendulum that carries Azriel to a stark tonal shift (and to the House of Wind!).

What I love most about the chapter is what SJM is doing with this pendulum swing between Elain/Rhys and Gwyn/Clotho. The entire bonus chapter is honestly such a rich and interesting example of thematic juxtaposition (if I could, I’d use it in the high school English classes I teach).

EVERYTHING included within this bonus chapter is intentional by SJM when it comes to juxtaposition: the shadows disappearing vs the shadows darting/watching/singing; surface-level lust vs thoughtful emotion and genuine connection; self-loathing vs contentment; selfish taking (“the third”) vs reflective giving (the necklace).

But perhaps most interesting is how Rhys and Clotho are intentional narrative brackets, each following a key emotional beat in Azriel’s internal conflict. Azriel's moment with Rhys could be labelled "rage and responsibility" vs Clotho's scene being about "destiny and discovery." Azriel is confronted by truth (Rhys) and guided by fate (Clotho) . . . Plus, Azriel’s final interaction of this chapter is with the character who literally shares a name with one of the Moirai known specifically for spinning fate. Perhaps Clotho is spinning a new thread for Azriel in this moment -- not commanding his future, but initiating it. And, I can't help but think of all the thread/ribbon/string imagery and metaphors that continue to pile up: Clotho spins the thread of life + the mating bond string that Azriel desperately wants + Gwyn's ribbon cutting (and comment about Azriel being her new ribbon). SJM is juxtaposing Rhys and Clotho as lenses through which Azriel’s internal conflict is reflected and redirected.

--------------------

"SO WHAT?" #3: We learn a great deal about Azriel himself in this chapter that makes us invested in what comes next for him. While this could fall under my first point above, I decided to include it separately here because I would certainly want to draw my students' attention to this if we were analyzing the chapter in the classroom. An author can set up a character arc all they want — but if the reader doesn’t care about the character, then it’s pointless.

Many readers love to focus on the necklace and how much drama it will cause for Azriel in the next book. But I argue that it's one of the least important elements of the entire bonus chapter once it's all said and done. I truthfully am inclined to think we may not even see it at all in the next book (except maybe a brief Easter Egg). There is no need for it. The necklace is symbolic, not literal. It doesn't need to appear again to matter -- its entire purpose is fulfilled within the bonus chapter: to reveal Azriel's internal shift. And, as readers, we are meant to feel the signifcant weight of that shift. What does this mean for Azriel? He clearly has many issues to work through still, but he is different at the end of this chapter compared to how we find him at the start.

That shift also acts like a tug on the reader -- almost saying, "Hey! Did you see this? What do you think this means? He's different here, right?!" Because even though it isn't about the necklace, the necklace is reason for the final scene of this chapter, which really drives home this last "SO WHAT?" analysis.

In my opinion, Clotho's scene is the most important moment in the entire bonus chapter -- not necessarily because of what is said, but because of what's realized. It's where the story stops telling us that Azriel is lost, confused, angry, etc. Instead, the story starts showing us that he's capable of change. How exciting is that?! Azriel is moving from REACTING to CHOOSING. I find it interesting that in the first half of the chapter, Azriel is trying to GET something (approval, validation, what his brother's have). But, in the final scene with Clotho, he is simply faced with a CHOICE. That shift is everything and leaves the reader with a longing to know where that choice will lead him.

The fact that Azriel imagines Gwyn's eyes lighting up (no other person evokes this from him) is the emotional pivot of the chapter. Elain is never described beyond the surface by Azriel. In contrast, Gwyn -- who isn't even physically present in the scene with Clotho -- has the most vivid and emotionally rich moment of the chapter: "He wondered how Gwyn's eyes might light up at the sight of it." This is centered on Gwyn's joy, not his own gratification (a clear and deliberate contrast to his selfish encounter with Elain).

So, essentially, it's not about the necklace anymore. It's about who Azriel is when he thinks about Gwyn. I don't know about you, but when I consider this, I want to know more about where this is going. If this shift occurs after just a brief encounter with Gwyn, what happens if they spend more time together?

--------------------

The entire bonus chapter is, in my opinion, meant to serve as a pivot point for Azriel's characterization as we prepare to spend a great deal of time with him in ACOTAR 5. Azriel is meant to be at his lowest in the beginning of the chapter so the reader can feel the shift by the end . . .

And, although I will save it for another post at another time, I think we can begin to see how Azriel might be working through his issues based on his behavior in CC3. Without getting too in depth, he comes across more open and less guarded, humming, not shying away from physical touch, etc. Everyone will have their own takes on this at this point, but we only have what we have to base our analysis on. Azriel is certainly different in CC3 compared to ACOSF. And this is where I believe his bonus chapter can clue us in a bit. Assuming that ACOTAR 5 will at least partially take place before CC3, we can infer that Azriel is well into his healing journey by that point. That journey also seems likely to include Gwyn and her ability to connect with Azriel in a unique way we haven't seen from other characters. But, who can really say?! We will have to wait and see on this one . . . but my money is that there will be important clues from the bonus chapter and after Solstice in ACOSF that will help bridge us to ACOTAR 5 and how Azriel acts in CC3.

[wing-ed-thing]

Being Dumb and 12-Years-Old with Team 7 Headcanons

Tags/Warnings: No Reader Pronouns, Being 12, Mixed AU

𓆃 Genin are a different breed of insufferable. Because they do such heavy, "adult" work, the times genin get to be kids, they almost double down and have to get a certain amount of thoughtlessness out of their system.

Naruto

𓆃 Naruto is just spending money on useless things. He has no idea how to handle money at all and will pay for things in the lowest coin denomination possible.

𓆃 He's a sucker for "limited-time" snacks, no matter what the flavor, and he's paying for everything with the lowest denomination possible.

𓆃 So you're standing at the cash register with your two "spicy pickle and cream" flavored onigiri while the poor cashier has to count 200 1ryō coins.

𓆃 And even after all of that, Naruto will be short.

𓆃 Naruto will be too loud and laugh too much in public spaces. He can't keep his hands off anything and will get you kicked out of at least one (1) business every few weeks.

𓆃 Will go into a business without buying anything and just sit down and hang out. Has absolutely no social anxiety and will stay completely oblivious to the clear mounting frustration on the employee's face until he's asked to leave.

𓆃 Be prepared to apologize for him a million times or instead you can validate to him that he totally didn't do anything wrong— what was that guy's problem?

𓆃 Then you're going back to his apartment, trying to eat spicy noodles— that were actually far too spicy for either of you but neither of you are admitting that— and getting into scream debates over TV shows until the neighbors are banging on the wall because you're being too loud.

𓆃 He's also showing you the grossest things the internet has to offer and traumatizing you for life.

Sakura

𓆃 You and Sakura think you're such mature little adults, meanwhile, you're getting all anxious about the passive aggressive fights you're getting into with your peers.

𓆃 And in true 12-year-old fashion, no one is beefing with each other to their faces, but you sure as hell are sending each other to talk to other people and then report back to you.

𓆃 You once texted Ino's "ex-boyfriend" just asking, "Is this ___?” He threatened to call the authorities and Sakura and Ino had to calm you down for the rest of the night.

𓆃 You think you're being sneaky using the samples from the beauty store to put make up on, and looking back you're baffled you didn't get an infection.

𓆃 Any underwear outside of standard cotton panties is scandalous and terrifying, and there was definitely a time you all bought a lacy undergarment together and worried for a solid hour how to get them home without your parents knowing.

𓆃 You never wore them. Your parents never found out.

𓆃 Sakura and Ino gave you a make over during a sleepover once, even though their version of make up was just very caked on foundation and boxy eyebrows.

𓆃 Every so often, the three of you will pair off and have fights with each other. You and Sakura will have a fight that Ino "mediates." You'll "mediate" a fight between Sakura and Ino... and totally take sides. You'll tell Sakura that Ino's wrong, and Ino that Sakura is wrong.

𓆃 The fights don't last long and usually result in some tears shed and ice cream bought.

Sasuke

𓆃 Sasuke touts himself as a sort of wiz on the piano or perhaps on the guitar, when in reality, he just learned to play three songs really well.

𓆃 He won't outwardly flex, but you can tell he likes to be recognized for it. He'd whip the skill out on days he's feeling particularly down.

𓆃 He'll tell you that you're going to "start a band," but you "won't be like other music groups that just want to get famous". But in reality, when you go over to his place, you'll just end up eating junk food, playing games, and won't ever actually touch an instrument.

𓆃 The closest you'll get is karaoke, but if you ever mention it ever again Sasuke won't talk to you for a week.

𓆃 And he's not immune to sending someone back and forth with messages to you because he's not talking to you. But "not in the way girls do," whatever that means.

𓆃 He’ll also accidentally download something shady from a shady website one night after going down some obscure internet rabbit hole, and Sasuke will say he's not worried about it, but he'll call you when you get home hyperventilating about how worried he is about it.

𓆃 You'll try to learn how to ride the latest form of transportation on wheels together, but the moment Sasuke discovers he's not instantly good at it he'll get mad at you for being better than he is even though it's only been 10 minutes and are you really that better than he is?

𓆃 Only posing for pictures with a scowl and hands clasped in front of you. Bonus points if your head is tilted back. These are photos you and Sasuke hide when you're older.

𓆃 Coming up with nicknames for yourselves and subtly trying to encourage other people to start calling you those nicknames.

Thank you to all who liked, reblogged, followed, and supported. Your support means so much and is greatly appreciated.

Notes: No offense to any 12 year olds in the audience. Being your age is universally a cringe time it's okay it's a right of passage.

[lilmisssona]

*ੈ✩Sorry Bestie, I love you *ੈ✩

*ੈ✩Pairing - Han Jisung × Fem Reader

*ੈ✩Plot - After being stood up for the fifth time this year, you've had enough of serial date ghosting. Just when you were about to leave, your best friend Han, whom you vented to , texts back saying to wait because he's coming to meet you. But Han left for another city eight years ago and when he shows up, you're shocked to see your quirky best has turned into someone undeniably hot!

*ੈ✩Genre - Angst, comedy, fluff

*ੈ✩Warnings - Dramatic comedic duo, non idol au, best friends to lovers au, angst, hurt to comfort

*ੈ✩Word Count - 10.7 K *ੈ✩Screenshot Count - 4

*ੈ✩A/N - Episode 5 of Staymas is here! This best friends-to-lovers tale will have you laughing, crying, and dreaming. Dive into this heartwarming and classic tale, albeit a little cliché! you won’t want to miss it! ( This is just slightly proofread so apologies for any mistakes 🙂‍↕️ )

*ੈ✩ SKZ Masterlist *ੈ✩ STAYMAS Masterlist

The candle flickers, the breeze teasing its flame. You try not to look at the empty chair across from you, but it’s impossible to ignore. Five times this year. A record, really. Maybe it’s time to quit dating altogether.

You grab your bag to leave, but your phone buzzes on the table. Glancing at the screen, you see his name....

You frown at the screen. Typical Jisung...cryptic, over-the-top, dramatic. Your fingers hover over the keyboard, debating whether to humor him. But something about his insistence makes you hesitate.

After waiting 20 minutes you were about to respond when the café door swings open. The sound barely registers...it’s a busy place, after all...but then you see him.

And for a moment, your brain stalls.

There he is: Han Jisung.

But not the Jisung you remember - the nerdy kid with mismatched socks and perpetually broken earbuds. No, this version of Jisung looks… different. Sharper. His jawline catches the soft glow of the café lights, and his tailored jacket makes him look almost regal.

When his eyes meet yours, he grins, the same mischievous spark lighting his face. “Hey,” he says, sliding into the seat across from you. “Sorry I’m late.”

“Jisung,” you manage, your voice barely above a whisper. “What are you doing here? You live miles away in Busan!”

“I moved back to Seoul months ago,” he says casually, leaning back. “Didn’t I tell you?”

“No!”

“Oops,” he says unapologetically. “Anyway, I couldn’t let you sit here alone. You deserve better than some no-show loser.”

You stare at him, still trying to process. “You’re unbelievable.”

“I know. That’s why you love me.”

You roll your eyes, but your lips twitch upward despite yourself. “You’re insufferable.”

“And yet, here I am,” he replies, his tone light but his gaze warm.

“Why, Ji? You didn’t teleport just to crash my pity party.”

Jisung leans forward, a smirk playing on his lips. “When my best friend texts saying their night sucks, I can’t not show up. Besides,” he adds with a mock whisper, “it’s been too long since I’ve played knight in shining armor.”

You snort, trying to ignore the way your heart skips at his words. “If you’re the knight, I’m doomed. What’s your grand plan? Order dessert and roast my date?”

“First, dessert is mandatory. Second, roasting is a given. But I was thinking bigger.”

You arch a brow. “Bigger? Like what?”

He rubs his chin in mock contemplation. “Storm their workplace and give them a lecture on human decency? Or better yet, I’ll write a diss track. Something like, ‘Ghosted Five Times, but I’m Still Fine.’”

You burst out laughing. “Please don’t. The world doesn’t need a breakup anthem about my tragic love life.”

“Too late,” he says, pretending to take notes. “Verse one: ‘Left her at the rooftop café, but she’s too hot for your games anyway.’ Instant hit.”

“Ridiculous,” you say, still laughing.

“And yet, you’re smiling,” he points out, grinning wider.

You shake your head, but the heaviness you felt earlier is fading, replaced by Jisung’s familiar warmth.

“Okay, fine,” you say, gesturing to the menu. “If you’re the hero, you’re buying dessert.”

“Done,” he says, scanning the menu. “But we’re sharing.”

“Deal. But I’m ordering the biggest slice.”

“Bold of you to assume I’d expect less.”

As the waiter approaches, you realize something...this moment, sitting here with Jisung, feels better than any date you’ve had in years.

And that thought terrifies you.

----------------------------------------------------------

The waiter sets down the slice of tiramisu, its rich layers of cream and coffee-soaked cake practically glowing under the café lights. Jisung doesn’t even wait for the plate to settle before scooping up a massive bite.

“Hey!” you protest, swatting at his hand with your fork. “We agreed to share, not for you to inhale the whole thing!”

“Sharing is caring,” he says through a mouthful, utterly unrepentant. “Besides, you said you wanted the biggest slice, not the biggest bite. Details matter.”

You roll your eyes but can’t suppress the laugh that escapes. “You’re impossible.”

“And yet, you’ve kept me around all these years.” He winks, his cheek now smudged with a bit of whipped cream.

“You’ve got something on your face, genius,” you say, pointing vaguely at his cheek.

“Here?” He swipes at the wrong side.

“No, the other side.”

“Here?” He misses again, managing to smear the whipped cream further.

“Give me that.” You grab a napkin and lean across the table to clean his cheek.

Jisung freezes, his playful grin fading as you get closer. Your hand pauses, and for a brief moment, you’re hyper-aware of how near you are. His gaze locks with yours, the teasing light in his eyes softening. The sounds of the café blur into a quiet hum, leaving only the weight of the moment.

Then, just as suddenly, it’s gone.

“There,” you say, sitting back and tossing the napkin onto the table. “Crisis averted.”

“Thanks, Mom,” he teases, but his voice is gentler now, his smile smaller yet no less warm.

You look away, focusing on your fork as you take a bite of the tiramisu. The sweetness melts on your tongue, but the lingering heat of his gaze lingers heavier than the dessert.

“So,” you say, eager to steer the conversation back to safer ground, “are you going to tell me why you didn’t mention moving back to Seoul? Or were you planning to keep it a secret forever?”

He shrugs, casually taking another bite. “I wanted it to be a surprise. You know me...I live for dramatic entrances.”

“Mission accomplished,” you mutter. “I still can’t believe you’re here.”

“Believe it,” he says, leaning back and crossing his arms. “I’m not going anywhere this time.”

His words hang in the air, heavier than you expect. You glance at him, and for a moment, you see the boy he used to be...the one who chased you through the hallways, who promised nothing would ever come between you....

----------------------------------------------------------

It was a rainy Monday morning. The kind that begged you to stay under the covers and forget the world existed. But skipping class wasn’t an option when you were already on the brink of being dropped for "excessive tardiness." So, there you were, sprinting through the maze of your university’s sprawling campus, clutching your bag to your chest and praying you’d slip into the lecture hall unnoticed.

As you rounded a corner, moving far too quickly for the slippery tile floor, disaster struck. You slammed straight into something— or someone. The impact sent you staggering, and before you could process what had happened, books, papers, and color-coded notes exploded into the air, raining down like confetti in a very unfortunate parade.

“Oh my God! I’m so sorry!” you blurted, dropping to your knees to gather the mess. Your heart was pounding from the sprint...and now from the mortification. So much for keeping a low profile.

“It’s fine,” came a calm, slightly irritated voice.

Looking up, you froze. Of all people, it had to be Han Jisung, the department’s golden boy. His reputation as a straight-A student was almost mythical, the kind of person who turned in assignments early and still managed to ace everything. Even now, in the chaos, he looked annoyingly put together. His navy sweater was pristine, his hair somehow immune to the rain outside, and his expression was a mix of disbelief and mild exasperation.

“Maybe,” he said, crouching down to gather his notes, “you should slow down next time.”

“Right. Slow down. Got it,” you muttered, cheeks burning as you handed him a stack of papers. “I wasn’t looking where I was going. Sorry again.”

His eyebrows lifted slightly, his gaze flicking to yours. “Thanks. Wait… do I know you?”

“You should,” you said before you could stop yourself. “I’m the one who almost blew up the chemistry lab during first-year practicals.”

Recognition flickered in his eyes, followed by amusement. “Oh. You’re that person.”

You grinned sheepishly. “The one and only. In my defense, the safety instructions were... vague.”

“That’s a generous interpretation,” he said, the corner of his mouth twitching upward as he resumed organizing his notes with practiced precision.

“And you’re Han Jisung,” you added, as though it wasn’t obvious. “Everyone knows you. You’re basically the poster child for academic perfection.”

“And you’re the one who thought shaking the vending machine would make it dispense two drinks at once,” he countered, his tone dry but laced with humor.

“That worked,” you retorted, smiling. “It just wasn’t worth the bruises.”

To your surprise, he laughed, an unguarded, genuine laugh that softened his polished exterior. For a moment, the intimidating image of Han Jisung melted away, replaced by someone far more approachable.

“Here,” he said, standing and offering you his hand. His grip was steady as he pulled you to your feet. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, just my pride’s a little bruised,” you admitted, brushing off your jeans.

“Well,” he said, smirking, “maybe next time, your pride should walk a little slower.”

You laughed, the last of your embarrassment fading. “Duly noted, Han Jisung.”

He tilted his head, his curiosity evident. “You didn’t tell me your name.”

“Y/N,” you said, holding out your hand, which he shook with a small, genuine smile.

“Nice to meet you, Y/N. Try to stay out of trouble, okay?”

“Where’s the fun in that?” you quipped, grinning as you slung your bag over your shoulder.

He shook his head, an amused glint in his eye as he collected his books and turned to leave. “See you around,” he said over his shoulder.

And as you watched him walk away - posture perfect, demeanor unshaken despite the chaos...you couldn’t help but smile. Something told you this wouldn’t be the last time your paths crossed.

You had no idea then just how much he’d come to mean to you...or how much trouble the two of you would get into together.

----------------------------------------------------------

The first time Han Jisung saved you, you were knee-deep in a mess entirely of your own making. It had started innocently enough - just another one of your “brilliant” ideas. You’d overheard someone mention that the campus auditorium boasted the best sound system in the city, and naturally, your curiosity had gotten the better of you. The only hitch? You decided to “borrow” a key from the janitor’s office to test the claim.

Your plan seemed foolproof: sneak in, connect your playlist, and revel in the sheer glory of bass that could rattle the walls. What could possibly go wrong? Well, as it turned out, everything.

Barely ten minutes into your impromptu concert, the auditorium doors swung open, revealing a very unimpressed campus security officer.

“Who gave you permission to be here?” the officer demanded, his glare sharp enough to slice through steel.

Panic flooded your chest as you fumbled for an explanation. “I, uh… I was just...”

“Just what? Trespassing and breaking into campus property?”

The scolding was bad enough, but the real horror was the thought of being reported. With your already shaky academic record, one more misstep could mean suspension, or worse. As your mind raced for an excuse, a calm, steady voice cut through the tension.

“Actually, it was my fault,” said Han Jisung, striding into the room with a confidence you didn’t know he possessed.

You blinked at him in shock. Jisung, of all people? What was he doing here?

“And who are you?” the officer asked, narrowing his eyes.

“Han Jisung,” he said smoothly, as if his name alone carried authority. “I’m a student council representative. I was supposed to meet Y/N here to help set up the sound system for a presentation.”

Your jaw practically hit the floor. Presentation? Meeting? What on earth was Jisung talking about?

The officer frowned, unconvinced. “This doesn’t look like a presentation.”

“We were testing the system before the meeting,” Jisung explained with unnerving ease. His tone was so measured, so convincing, that even you almost believed him. “I take full responsibility for not getting prior approval from the administration. It won’t happen again.”

The officer eyed him for a moment longer, then sighed. “Fine. But if I catch either of you here without permission again, there will be consequences.”

“Yes, sir. Understood,” Jisung said, bowing slightly as the officer turned and left.

As soon as the door clicked shut, you turned to him, still reeling. “What the hell was that?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” Jisung retorted, arms crossed. “Breaking into the auditorium? Really?”

“I wasn’t breaking in! I just… borrowed the key,” you mumbled defensively.

“And you thought no one would notice?” He raised an eyebrow, unimpressed.

You opened your mouth to argue but quickly shut it. He wasn’t wrong. “Fine. It was stupid. But why’d you cover for me?”

Jisung let out a sigh, running a hand through his hair. “Because I didn’t want you to get in trouble. Again. Do you have any idea how close you are to being put on academic probation?”

Your eyes widened. “Wait! you keep track of my academic record?”

“It’s hard not to when you’re constantly finding new ways to get into trouble,” he muttered, though his tone was more exasperated than angry. “Seriously, Y/N, you need to be more careful.”

A strange mix of gratitude and embarrassment settled in your chest. “Thanks,” you said softly, looking at him with newfound appreciation.

“Don’t mention it,” he replied, his expression softening. “Just… maybe think things through next time?”

You grinned despite yourself. “What, and miss out on all the fun?”

Jisung groaned, shaking his head. “You’re impossible.”

“Maybe,” you teased, nudging him lightly. “But admit it...you wouldn’t have me any other way.”

He didn’t answer right away, but the faint smile tugging at his lips said more than words ever could.

Your friendship with Han Jisung was like an unpredictable storm meeting a steady anchor. Where you brought chaos, wild and unapologetic, he brought calm and quiet resilience. Yet somehow, the two of you balanced each other, your mismatched escapades weaving an unlikely but unshakable bond.

----------------------------------------------------------

Take the time you convinced Han Jisung to sneak into the art department’s studio with you. Rumor had it that the seniors had painted a massive mural on the back wall, and you just had to see it before the official unveiling.

“This is such a bad idea,” Jisung muttered, trailing behind you through the dimly lit hallway.

“You say that every time,” you whispered back, stifling a grin as you jiggled the door handle. “And yet, here you are.”

“Only because someone has to make sure you don’t get caught,” he shot back, crossing his arms.

“Relax, it’s just a mural. No one’s going to....”

The sound of footsteps echoed down the hallway, cutting off your reassurance. Your heart leaped into your throat as you instinctively grabbed Jisung’s arm and dragged him behind a stack of easels. The two of you crouched low, pressed shoulder to shoulder, holding your breath.

“I hate this,” he hissed, his voice barely audible.

“You love this,” you whispered, unable to suppress the mischievous smile spreading across your face.

When the footsteps finally receded, leaving the hallway silent once more, you turned toward Jisung, your faces just inches apart. For a brief moment, the world seemed to hold its breath. You could feel the warmth of his skin, the rise and fall of his chest, and the way his eyes searched yours, as if questioning what on earth he was doing here with you.

“Let’s just go,” he muttered, breaking the spell as he stood up and dusted himself off.

The mural, when you finally laid eyes on it, was breathtaking: a kaleidoscope of colors and intricate details that left you momentarily speechless. But the real highlight of the night wasn’t the art. It was Jisung’s deadpan commentary as he gestured toward the wall with exaggerated disbelief.

“You risked getting us expelled for this?” he asked, his tone dripping with mock indignation.

“It’s called appreciating art,” you replied, snapping a photo with your phone. “You should try it sometime.”

“Next time, let’s just visit a museum like normal people,” he said, shaking his head. But the small smile tugging at the corners of his lips betrayed him.

Your friendship with Han Jisung was a rollercoaster of shenanigans and shared moments that made life vibrant and unpredictable. The two of you were a duo nobody quite understood — him, the straight-laced, diligent student with his color-coded notes and perfectly maintained schedule, and you, the chaotic whirlwind who somehow managed to stumble your way through life with charm and luck.

Whether it was sneaking into the art department to see hidden murals or convincing him to ditch a study session for a midnight run to the nearest convenience store, you were always dragging Jisung into your world of playful mayhem.

And the most surprising part? He let you. He’d complain endlessly...“Y/N, this is the last time I’m letting you drag me into one of your dumb plans...,” But he’d always follow.

But your fun and games came to a crashing halt one fateful afternoon when reality smacked you in the face.

It started innocently enough. You and Jisung were sitting on the grass in the quad, eating snacks after one of your shared classes. He had a notebook balanced on his knee, going over notes while you dramatically recounted your latest “battle” with your statistics professor.

“Y/N, you can’t keep ignoring deadlines,” Jisung said, laughing as he stole one of your chips. “At some point, it’s going to catch up with you.”

“It’s fine,” you said breezily, leaning back and looking at the sky. “I always figure it out in the end.”

But you didn’t.

The next week, the results of your midterm exams came out, and the sinking feeling in your stomach as you saw your grades was undeniable. You were failing. And not just in one class;several.

You didn’t want to tell Jisung. Admitting it felt like admitting defeat, like proving to him that you were the chaotic mess everyone thought you were. But Jisung wasn’t the type to let things slide.

When he saw you sitting alone in the library, looking dejected, he plopped down across from you with his usual confident grin. “Alright, what’s up? And don’t even think about saying ‘nothing.’”

You sighed, burying your face in your hands. “I’m failing, Jisung.”

He blinked, momentarily surprised. “Failing what?”

“Exams,” you mumbled.

“Right, you're failing. I know."

"You know?" you asked, shocked.

"You bombed the last three quizzes, skipped half the study sessions, and I saw you playing games on your laptop during class last week,” he interrupted, his tone leaving no room for argument. “If you keep this up, you’re not going to pass the finals.”

You scoffed, running a hand through your hair. “Rubbing salt in the wound, much? Okay, I get it. I'm a horrible person… I don’t know how to fix it.”

“That’s what I’m here for,” he said, his expression softening. “We’re going to fix this. Together.”

And just like that, he took charge. Over the next few months, Jisung practically became your shadow. He made you a study schedule, sat with you during every session, and patiently explained concepts you didn’t understand.

“Focus, Y/N,” he’d say when he caught you doodling in the margins of your notes.

“You’re like an annoying older brother,” you grumbled one evening as he forced you to redo a particularly difficult essay for the fifth time.

“Older?” he repeated, raising an eyebrow. “I’m literally younger than you.”

“Then stop acting like my dad,” you shot back, sticking your tongue out at him.

“You’re lucky I don’t charge for all this,” he’d mutter, shaking his head but unable to hide his fond smile.

Despite the grueling sessions, you couldn’t deny that it was working. And as the exams approached, you felt something you hadn’t felt in a long time: hope.

The day the results were posted, you practically sprinted to the bulletin board, your heart pounding in your chest. Jisung followed behind, a calm presence as always.

When you saw your grades, you let out a gasp. “I passed!”

Jisung grinned, clapping you on the back. “See? I told you you could do it.”

You turned to him, your eyes shining. “I couldn’t have done it without you, Jisung. Seriously, thank you.”

He shrugged, but the smile on his face was genuine. “What are best friends for?”

And that was the moment you realized, once again, just how much he meant to you. He wasn’t just your partner in crime or your study buddy. He was your anchor, your constant, your safe place in the chaos of life.

----------------------------------------------------------

Next semester arrived before you knew it, sweeping you into a whirlwind of assignments, deadlines, and late-night cramming sessions. Somewhere amid the chaos of library study marathons and the steady comfort of early-morning pep talks, it hit you...you were falling for Han Jisung. It wasn’t the kind of love that blindsided you in a single moment, the way romance novels and movies often describe. No, this was different. It was a quiet realization, like the way dawn gradually paints the sky with soft, golden hues. Subtle, unassuming, but impossible to ignore once you noticed it.

You found yourself searching for his laugh in crowded rooms, a sound so infectious it felt like sunlight breaking through the darkest clouds. The way his eyes crinkled at the corners when he smiled became something you looked forward to, a little beacon of joy in your long, exhausting days. Then there was the way he pushed his hair back when he was concentrating, his brow furrowing slightly as if he were trying to solve the mysteries of the universe. It was such a small thing, but it made your heart skip every time.

And it wasn’t just the way he made you feel; it was the way he cared for you, in a way no one else ever had. He had this way of noticing things about you...things you didn’t even realize you were doing. Like how he’d remind you to eat when you got too caught up in your work or how he’d send you a text late at night, a simple “You’ve got this” that somehow made everything feel a little more manageable. His care wasn’t loud or overbearing; it was steady and unshakable, like a constant undercurrent that you could always count on.

You didn’t know exactly when it started...when his presence began to mean more than just friendship. Maybe it was during one of those late-night library sessions when he stayed up with you until dawn, helping you with a paper even though he didn’t have to. Maybe it was the way he looked at you, his gaze soft and full of something you couldn’t quite name. Or maybe it was simply everything...every moment, every laugh, every small, thoughtful gesture adding up until your heart couldn’t hold it all anymore.

But falling for him was as terrifying as it was beautiful. Because as much as you wanted to believe there was something more between you, you couldn’t ignore the fear—the fear that acknowledging your feelings would change everything, that crossing that line might mean losing him entirely. So you kept it to yourself, letting your feelings grow quietly in the corners of your heart, where they were safe but painfully unspoken.

Instead of confessing, you did what you thought would save you from heartbreak: burying your feelings and making a choice that felt like the only escape at the time. You started dating someone else.

At first, it seemed like a solution, a distraction from the ache that tightened your chest every time Jisung’s warm smile was directed at you. Your new relationship kept you busy, giving you something else to focus on. But it didn’t take long for cracks to appear, tiny fractures that grew wider with every passing day. Your partner turned out to be toxic: controlling, dismissive, and quick to belittle you for things you couldn’t control. Every disagreement became a battle, every moment together felt like walking on eggshells.

And, of course, Jisung noticed. He always noticed.

“Y/N,” he said softly one evening, his voice cutting through the suffocating silence of your apartment. He was sitting beside you on the couch after you’d had yet another argument with your partner, your eyes red and tired from holding back tears. “You don’t have to put up with this.”

You shrugged, keeping your gaze fixed on your hands. “It’s not as bad as it seems.”

His hand reached out, brushing against yours as his voice took on a firmness that was rare for him. “It is that bad. You deserve better than this. So much better.”

You looked up at him then, his expression both gentle and resolute, and something in your chest cracked open. His words felt like a lifeline, a reminder of the person you used to be....the person you wanted to be again. Still, you didn’t act immediately. Breaking up was messy, painful, and terrifying. But Jisung’s unwavering support gave you strength.

When the breakup finally happened, it unraveled everything. The aftermath was raw, leaving you emotionally drained and questioning everything. You called Jisung in the middle of the night, your voice shaking as you choked out his name. And, like always, he showed up. No questions, no hesitation. He simply came.

He didn’t try to fix you or tell you to move on. He just sat with you, his arms wrapped around you as you cried, his presence grounding you in a way no one else’s could. His quiet reassurances weren’t grand declarations, but they were exactly what you needed: I’m here. You’re not alone.

And that was when you knew. You couldn’t keep pretending anymore. You couldn’t keep denying that he wasn’t just your best friend. That every time he laughed, your heart skipped. That he wasn’t the person you wanted beside you...not just in moments of crisis, but always.

It was terrifying to think about confessing. But the thought of losing him? That was even worse. So you made up your mind. You would tell him how you felt, even if it risked everything.

But reality always has other plans....

----------------------------------------------------------

“Earth to Y/N,” Jisung’s voice pulled you out of your spiraling thoughts. His hand waved in front of your face, his tone laced with gentle teasing. “Are you okay?”

You blinked, your surroundings coming back into focus. His face was mere inches from yours, his brows furrowed with concern. He looked at you the way he always did, as though he could see every unspoken thought you were too afraid to share.

“Yeah,” you lied, your voice coming out shaky. “I’m fine. Just… thinking.”

“Thinking about what?” His curiosity was genuine, his head tilting slightly as he studied you.

Your fingers tightened around your coffee cup, your heart hammering in your chest. What could you say? That you were thinking about how much you missed him? About how every moment with him only made it harder to keep your feelings hidden? About how terrifying it was to sit across from him, knowing your heart was an open wound he couldn’t see?

“Just... reminiscing,” you said finally, forcing a smile that you hoped hid the turmoil inside. “About how you’ve always had my back. You’ve saved me more times than I can count.”

He grinned, the corners of his eyes crinkling in that way that never failed to make your stomach flip. “What can I say? Someone’s gotta keep you out of trouble.”

You laughed, but it felt hollow, the weight of your unsaid confession pressing down on you. You couldn’t help but notice the way the evening light softened his features, the way he looked at you like you were the only person in the world who mattered. And yet, you couldn’t bring yourself to say what you really wanted to.

As the conversation drifted to lighter topics, you found yourself stealing glances at him, memorizing every detail of his face, every inflection of his voice. The thought that you might never be brave enough to tell him how you felt was unbearable.

And when he walked you home that night, his presence warm and steady beside you, you almost stopped him. Almost turned to him and let the words tumble out. But fear held you back...the fear of ruining what you already had, the fear that he didn’t feel the same.

As you stood outside your apartment building, Jisung smiled softly, his hands buried in his coat pockets. “Goodnight, Y/N.”

“Goodnight,” you whispered, watching him walk away.

You stayed there long after he was gone, the city’s lights blurring in your vision as tears pricked your eyes. Because no matter how much you told yourself it was better this way, your heart knew the truth.

You closed the door behind you, the sound of it slamming shut echoing in the otherwise silent apartment. Leaning against the door, you let out a breath, one you hadn’t even realized you’d been holding. Your chest still felt tight, and your heart raced uncontrollably,not from the cold night air that still clung to you, but from everything that had just transpired.

Best friends

That’s all you were to him, and that’s all you’d ever be. The bitter thought made your stomach twist as you dropped your bag carelessly onto the floor.

With each step that led you to your bedroom, the weight of it all pressed down on you. You peeled off your jacket, tossing it onto the chair in the corner, not bothering to hang it up. The soft glow from the city lights filtered through your curtains, casting delicate, fleeting patterns on the walls. You climbed into bed, the comforter enveloping you like a fragile shield. But no amount of warmth could ease the ache that gnawed at your heart.

Your mind, however, had other plans. It dragged you back, back to that cold Valentine’s Day years ago, when you’d finally decided to take the plunge, to confess, to reveal the feelings you’d kept hidden for far too long.

----------------------------------------------------------

It had been one of those early February mornings, the kind where your breath hung in the air in little clouds of mist, and the campus pathways were slick from the melting frost. You’d spent weeks wrestling with the idea, turning it over in your mind like a stone you couldn’t get rid of. Every shared laugh, every teasing nudge from Jisung, every late-night text that made your heart flutter, each small moment had added weight to the growing realization that you couldn’t ignore your feelings anymore.

Today’s the day, you told yourself. The words echoed in your mind like a mantra, but they didn’t feel as comforting as they should have. You couldn’t keep pretending to be his best friend, not when your heart longed for something more.

You had prepared for this moment, rehearsing your confession in front of the mirror over and over. It wasn’t going to be grand or dramatic, just honest, just the truth of how much he meant to you. It was going to be simple: "Jisung, I need to tell you something. I think I’m in love with you."

But just as you’d gathered the courage to leave your dorm, your phone buzzed. A call from Nari, a friend of yours since freshman year.

"Hey, can we talk? Meet me at the campus café around noon. It’s important."

Your heart skipped a beat. What could Nari possibly want to talk about? You didn’t think much of it at first. Nari was the kind of person who always seemed to know when something was off, and she had a way of making you feel like everything would be okay, even when it wasn’t. Maybe she’d guessed how you felt about Jisung and wanted to give you some advice—something to help ease the burden you’d carried for so long.

You agreed to meet her, nervous energy coursing through you. You picked out a small rose for Jisung, the perfect shade of red, and made your way to the café. When you arrived, Nari was already there, absentmindedly stirring a cup of tea. She looked up when she saw you, offering a smile, but it was the kind of smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes.

"Hey," she greeted, her voice light but hesitant. "Thanks for meeting me."

"Of course," you replied, trying to sound steady despite the nervous flutter in your chest. "What’s up?"

Nari hesitated, her gaze flickering to the rose in your hand before meeting your eyes again. She took a deep breath, and you could tell something was weighing heavily on her.

"I wanted to talk to you about something... something important," she said, her voice quieter now, more serious.

Your stomach tightened with unease. "Okay?"

She fiddled with the edge of her sleeve, taking a moment before continuing. "I know how close you and Jisung are. And... I’ve noticed how you look at him."

Your cheeks flushed with heat, a wave of panic crashing over you. "W-What do you mean?" you stammered, unsure of what she was getting at.

"You like him, don’t you?" she asked gently, her voice almost apologetic, as if she already knew the answer.

You froze. There was no point denying it. Not when she’d already seen straight through you. The truth hung in the air between you, heavy and undeniable. You nodded slowly, the grip on the rose tightening as you spoke. "Yeah. I do."

Nari bit her lip, her expression softening with sympathy. "I figured. That’s why I thought I should tell you before you... before you do anything." She trailed off, clearly struggling to find the right words.

Your heart dropped into your stomach. "What about you and Jisung?" you asked, your voice barely more than a whisper.

Nari shifted in her seat, her eyes avoiding yours for a moment. Then, slowly, she met your gaze again, her expression filled with something that looked like guilt.

"We’ve been seeing each other," she said, her voice small but resolute. "For a little while now."

The words hit you like a physical blow, knocking the wind out of you. You blinked, trying to process what she had just said. This couldn’t be real. Jisung hadn’t said anything...nothing about her, nothing about being with anyone.

"You’re... together?" you asked, barely able to form the words.

Nari nodded, her face etched with a kind of remorse. "It’s still new," she said quietly, "but I thought it was better to tell you now. I didn’t want you to find out in a way that would hurt more."

Hurt. The irony of her words felt like salt in the wound. You couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. The rose in your hand suddenly felt like a cruel joke, its vibrant petals mocking you. The confession you’d been building up for so long, the one you’d been so certain of, had just become meaningless.

"I’m sorry," Nari said softly, her voice laced with sincerity. "I didn’t mean for this to happen. But... I really care about him."

You swallowed, forcing yourself to smile, even though it felt like it would tear you apart. "It’s fine," you said, though the words felt hollow. "Really."

But it wasn’t fine. Not at all.

The rest of the conversation blurred as she went on about how happy Jisung made her, about how she never expected this to happen, but how she had to be honest with you. Every word felt like a knife twisting deeper, but you held it together, nodding at the right times, forcing yourself to listen.

When you finally left the café, you didn’t even look back. The rose you’d clutched in your hand found its way into the nearest trash can, the delicate petals crushed under your trembling fingers, a symbol of everything you could never have.

---------------------------------------------------------

A few weeks after Valentine’s Day, life had settled into an uneasy rhythm. You buried your feelings deeper than ever, convincing yourself that it was better this way. You were still Jisung’s best friend, the one he turned to when he needed to laugh, vent, or just be himself. But each moment spent with him was a bittersweet reminder of what you could never have, an ache that lingered, stubborn and relentless.

Then, one evening, your phone buzzed with a call from him, Jisung.

“Hey, can we talk? There’s something I need to tell you.”

Your stomach flipped, unease settling over you like a heavy weight. His tone was more serious than usual, sending a chill through your body. Was he about to bring up what you had been trying so hard to bury? You hesitated, but finally replied, your heart pounding.

“Of course. What’s up?”

“Let’s meet on the rooftop of campus. I’ll be there in 20.”

A knot tightened in your stomach as you agreed.

The rooftop -yours and his safe place. It was the space where you had shared confessions, secrets, things that shouldn’t be seen by the world. You both had always come here to escape, to be yourselves away from prying eyes.

You arrived early, anxiety crawling up your spine with every step. The campus was eerily quiet at night, and you slipped through the building’s doors, heading up to the rooftop. The familiar view of the city lights was comforting, but tonight, it couldn’t settle your nerves.

When Jisung arrived, he was different. His playful grin was absent, replaced by a serious expression. His eyes, usually filled with warmth and mischief, held a weight you hadn’t seen before. Your chest tightened at the sight.

“Hey,” you greeted, forcing a smile that felt like a mask, as you turned to face him.

“Hey,” he replied, his voice unusually soft. He didn’t meet your gaze immediately, instead fiddling nervously with the hem of his hoodie sleeves...a habit you knew well.

“Everything okay?” you asked, trying to keep your tone light, even though your heart felt like it was going to explode.

He took a deep breath before lifting his gaze to meet yours. His eyes were steady, but there was something burdened in them, something he hadn’t said yet.

“I’ve been thinking about this for a while, and... I didn’t know how to tell you. But I have to.”

Your heart sank, the weight of his words sinking in before you could even process them. What was ge about to tell you ? That he and Nari were becoming serious? That he didn’t want to stay friends anymore?

“I’m leaving Seoul,” he said, his voice quiet but firm.

The words hit you like a physical blow, knocking the air from your lungs. “What?”

“I got accepted into a music program in Busan,” he explained, his hands clenching into fists. “It’s an incredible opportunity, like a dream come true. But it means... I have to leave.”

Your mind went blank, your body feeling like it was trapped in quicksand. Jisung had always talked about his passion for music, about creating something that meant something. You were proud of him, truly, but the thought of him leaving, of him being so far away, was unbearable.

“When?” you managed to ask, your voice barely a whisper.

“In a week,” he said, his eyes searching yours, looking for understanding. “I didn’t want to tell you until everything was finalized. I just... I couldn’t leave without saying goodbye.”

Your chest tightened as tears pricked at the corners of your eyes. You looked away, staring blankly at the city below. “A week? That’s... so soon.”

“I know,” he said, his voice tinged with regret. “But it’s something I have to do. You understand that, right?”

You nodded, forcing the lump in your throat down, even though your heart was breaking. “Yeah, of course. It’s your dream. You’d be crazy not to go.”

The rest of the evening passed in a blur. Jisung talked about the program, his excitement and nervousness spilling over as he shared every detail. You listened, offered words of encouragement, even joked with him to lighten the mood. But as soon as you were alone, everything you had been holding back came crashing down.

----------------------------------------------------------

The week passed in a blur, each day bringing you closer to the inevitable. And then, it was the day of his departure.

You met him at the train station, your chest heavy with the weight of goodbye. He was standing there, his suitcases at his feet, hoodie pulled up against the chill of the early morning. The finality of the moment was suffocating, the space between you growing with each passing second.

“Hey,” he said softly, his voice low as you approached.

“Hey,” you replied, forcing a smile that felt like it might shatter any second.

Neither of you spoke right away, the sound of the bustling station drowning out the silence that hung between you. Neither of you could find the words that needed to be said.

“This isn’t goodbye,” he said finally, his voice resolute, though there was a tremor of uncertainty in his eyes. “I’ll text you every day. I’ll call. We’ll stay in touch, okay?”

You nodded, the tears that had been threatening to fall finally escaping. “Yeah. We will.”

“Hey,” he said gently, stepping closer and pulling you into a hug. His arms were warm, steady, and for a brief moment, you allowed yourself to forget everything else. You breathed in deeply, memorizing the way he felt, the way his heartbeat synced with yours.

“You’re going to be okay,” he whispered, his chin resting on top of your head. “I promise.”

You didn’t trust yourself to speak, so you simply clung to him, unwilling to let go, as though by holding on just a little longer, you could freeze this moment in time.

When the announcement for his train came over the speakers, he pulled away, his hands lingering on your shoulders. “I’ll see you soon, okay?”

“Okay,” you whispered, wiping the tears from your cheeks.

He gave you one last smile: a small, sincere smile, before grabbing his bags and heading toward the platform. You watched him walk away, your heart breaking with every step, every inch between you and him.

As the train began to pull away, you told yourself it wasn’t the end. That you’d see him again. That things would go back to the way they were.

But deep down, you knew better. Something had changed, something unspoken, something that couldn’t be undone. And though you didn’t know what the future held, you knew one thing for sure,it could never be the same again....

---------------------------------------------------------

The sunlight poured through your window, bright and uninvited, cutting through the darkness of the room. You groaned, burying your face deeper into the pillow, desperate to escape the sharp ring of the alarm that sliced through the silence. The day ahead already felt heavy, as if the weight of the world had settled on your shoulders before it even began. The memories that had resurfaced the night before, memories you had buried for years...still clung to your mind, unrelenting and vivid. Jisung was back in your life, but the gap of eight years between you was an insurmountable distance...those unanswered questions, the unspoken truths, and the silent wishes hung between you like an invisible wall that neither of you could breach.

You dragged yourself out of bed, the grogginess still clinging to you like a second skin, your body protesting against the demands of the day. The kitchen greeted you with the comforting aroma of freshly brewed coffee, the scent wrapping around you like a brief respite from the chaos swirling inside your mind. You leaned against the counter, staring blankly out the window, watching the familiar morning rush of Seoul. People hurried past, weaving in and out of the crowded streets with practiced precision, their steps as frantic as your thoughts. The city felt different now, with Jisung back in it. Or maybe it was you who felt different...changed by the weight of the years that had passed and the memories that refused to stay buried.

It had been weeks since that fateful café meeting....the first time you had seen him again after so many years of silence. Since then, you and Jisung had slipped into an almost familiar rhythm, as though time had somehow softened the sharp edges of the past. Late-night texts, spontaneous meetups, shared laughter, it all seemed to flow with ease, as though no time had passed at all. But beneath the surface of every smile, every joke, every touch, there was something deeper—a shadow of the past, a lingering ache, a question that neither of you dared to ask. The years apart, the buried feelings, and the uncertainty of where you stood now,all of it hovered between you, a constant presence neither of you could escape.

You had resolved, at least for the time being, to keep things light. To avoid venturing into territory that might reopen old wounds. After all, wasn't it better to just be his friend than risk losing him altogether? The logic made sense, the choice seemed rational. But your heart, stubborn as always, refused to follow any kind of logic. It ached for him in ways you couldn’t control, pulling you in directions you weren’t ready to go. No matter how hard you tried to push the feelings down, to suppress the memories that wanted to flood back to the surface, they remained, relentless, unyielding, impossible to ignore.

And so, you stood there, staring out at the city that felt both familiar and foreign, wondering if the past was something you could ever truly outrun...

----------------------------------------------------------

That afternoon, you found yourself standing in front of the same café where everything had started—where you’d seen Jisung for the first time in eight long years. But today, it wasn’t a chance encounter. This meeting had a purpose, planned and initiated by him.

Jisung’s call from the morning had been simple and vague, yet it had thrown you off balance:

“Let’s grab lunch? I’ve got a surprise for you.”

A surprise. With Jisung, that could mean anything...something small and silly, or something that could shift the ground beneath your feet. Either way, your heart had been racing ever since.

Pushing open the door to the café, the familiar chime of the bell above welcomed you. Your eyes scanned the room until they landed on him. He was already at your usual table by the window, waving at you with that familiar boyish grin. His hair was slightly messy, the sleeves of his shirt rolled up casually, and he looked so at ease, so natural, that it was almost enough to lull you into believing nothing had changed.

“Hey, you’re early,” you said as you slid into the seat across from him, feigning nonchalance to hide the way your pulse quickened at the sight of him.

“Rare moment of responsibility,” he quipped, setting his phone down on the table. “Don’t get used to it.”

You laughed, shaking your head. “I wasn’t planning to.”

As the waitress came to take your order, you couldn’t help but sneak glances at him, trying to read the mood. There was a sparkle in his eyes, an almost childlike excitement, and you couldn’t help but feel curious and maybe a little nervous.

“So,” you started once the waitress left, “are you going to tell me what this surprise is, or are you just going to keep me guessing?”

Jisung leaned back in his chair, his grin widening. “Patience. Let’s eat first.”

You narrowed your eyes at him but played along. Lunch passed in a blur of conversation and laughter. He told you about his time in Busan, the struggles of chasing his dreams, the doubts that crept in on sleepless nights, and the small moments of triumph that kept him going. You shared stories of Seoul, talking about everything from the daily grind to the little changes in the city he used to know so well.

There was something comforting about it all, like slipping into a well-worn rhythm. But beneath the surface of your laughter and casual conversation was the unspoken truth, the questions, the what-ifs, the emotions that threatened to rise to the surface with every shared glance.

As the meal drew to a close, your patience finally snapped.

“Alright, spill it,” you said, leaning forward, your curiosity getting the better of you. “What’s the big surprise?”

Jisung’s grin turned sheepish as he reached into his bag, pulling out a small, neatly wrapped package. He held it out to you with an almost nervous energy.

“It’s nothing huge,” he said, his voice softening. “But I saw this and thought of you.”

You blinked, staring at the package in his hands. “You didn’t have to....”

“Just open it,” he interrupted, his eyes alight with anticipation.

You hesitated only for a moment before carefully peeling away the wrapping. What you revealed made your breath catch. It was a leather-bound notebook, beautifully embossed with intricate designs. But it wasn’t just the notebook that made your heart stumble.

As you opened it, the first few pages revealed doodles, small, playful sketches that were unmistakably his. Interspersed with the doodles were notes, scribbled in his familiar handwriting, filled with inside jokes and tiny fragments of your shared past. Flipping further, you found photos tucked between pages, memories you had long forgotten brought back to life in vivid detail.

“Is this…?” you murmured, your voice trailing off as your fingers skimmed over the pages, taking in every detail.

“It’s kind of like a scrapbook,” Jisung explained, rubbing the back of his neck. “I found some of our old stuff while unpacking and thought... I don’t know, you might like it. I started putting it together, and… yeah.”

Your fingers trembled slightly as you traced the edge of a photo - a candid shot of the two of you from college, your younger selves caught mid-laughter.

“Jisung, this is…” You looked up at him, your voice catching in your throat. “It’s amazing. Thank you.”

He smiled, the shyness in his expression softening into something warmer. “I figured it’s about time we started filling in the gaps, you know? From all those years apart.”

You nodded, unable to speak past the lump in your throat. “Yeah. It’s perfect.”

But as you stared down at the notebook again, a bittersweet ache filled your chest. Every page, every sketch, every photo spoke of a connection you cherished. Yet they also served as a reminder of everything you couldn’t have. For all the love and care that had gone into this gift, for all the memories it brought back, there was one truth that hung in the air, unspoken and unchangeable.

Jisung didn’t feel the same way about you.

And no amount of shared nostalgia could rewrite that fact...

Later, as he walked you home, the air between you was filled with the kind of easy conversation that came naturally with him, light-hearted jokes, shared laughter, and fleeting glances that felt like secrets. It was almost as if the years apart hadn’t happened, as if the weight of the past had somehow dissolved in the rhythm of your steps. For a fleeting moment, it felt like old times.

His presence beside you was a quiet comfort, grounding you in a way you hadn’t realized you’d missed. The sound of his sneakers scuffing lightly against the pavement, the soft hum of the city around you, it all felt familiar, like slipping into a favorite old sweater that had been tucked away for too long.

“Thanks again for the notebook,” you said as you reached your building, clutching the gift tightly against your chest. “Seriously, it’s the best thing I’ve gotten in… well, years.”

He turned to you, his grin widening as he shoved his hands deeper into his pockets. “You’re welcome. I’m glad you liked it.”

There was something about the way he looked at you just then, a flicker in his eyes, warm and unguarded, that made your pulse stutter. The city lights reflected faintly in his gaze, and for one impossible second, you thought you saw something there. Something deeper. Something more.

But just as quickly as it appeared, it was gone, replaced by his usual boyish charm. He smiled and took a playful step backward, rocking on his heels. “Goodnight, bestie.”

Your laugh came out soft and a little strained, the word bestie stinging in a way you hadn’t expected. It was a reminder of the line he had drawn between you, one he didn’t seem to realize you were desperate to cross.

“Goodnight, Jisung,” you replied, your voice barely above a whisper.

You stood there, watching as he walked away, his figure growing smaller with each step until he was just a shadow against the glow of the streetlights. Your chest felt heavy, the ache of unspoken words pressing against your ribs.

For a moment, the urge to stop him surged within you, stronger than ever. To call out his name, to tell him everything...

But you stopped yourself. And for the first time in years, you let yourself wonder: maybe it wasn’t about what you said or didn’t say. Maybe it was about what he felt or didn’t feel in return ?

---------------------------------------------------------

The days turned into weeks, and before you knew it, Jisung’s return to your life had started to take its toll. Spending time with him felt like walking a tightrope, balanced precariously between joy and heartache. Every laugh you shared, every inside joke that came rushing back, every moment spent together,it was everything you’d ever wanted. But it was also a cruel reminder of everything you couldn’t have.

The little things were the hardest to bear. The way his laughter still made your heart skip, the way he instinctively remembered your favorite snacks or noticed the smallest changes in your mood. The way his voice softened when he said your name, as if it was a word meant to be spoken with care. Every interaction felt like it was pulling you deeper into an emotional quicksand. No matter how much you told yourself to keep things casual, to not overthink, the feelings you’d buried years ago rose to the surface, stronger and more relentless than ever.

It was exhausting. The constant battle within yourself...the longing to be close to him and the fear of being hurt again. The more time you spent with Jisung, the clearer it became: your heart wasn’t built to endure this. Not again.

So, you did the only thing you thought might save you. You started to pull away.

At first, it was subtle. A missed text here, a vague excuse there.

When he asked to hang out, you’d claim you were busy with work or that you weren’t feeling well. You convinced yourself it was temporary, that a little distance would give you the time and space you needed to get your emotions under control.

He didn’t question it at first. When you started skipping out on coffee dates or responding to his texts hours late with apologetic emojis and half-hearted excuses, Jisung didn’t push. He let it slide, brushing it off as you being busy or caught up with work. “It happens,” he’d say with a grin, his tone light and understanding. That was just who he was, always patient, always willing to give you the space you needed.

But as the days stretched into weeks, the excuses piled up, and the distance between you became impossible to ignore. Every invitation was met with, “Maybe next time,” or, “I’ve got a lot on my plate right now.” You stopped lingering over late-night texts, stopped sharing the small details of your day that you used to send him without a second thought.

And every time you turned him down, every time you chose silence over connection, you felt the guilt clawing at you. It was suffocating, that constant push and pull between wanting to protect yourself and not wanting to hurt him. But in your mind, this was the only way. Keeping your heart intact meant keeping your distance.

Except, it wasn’t working.

Avoiding Jisung didn’t dull your feelings, it only made them sharper. Every time you ignored his text, you’d find yourself staring at your phone minutes later, wondering if he was thinking of you. Every time you saw something that reminded you of him.... a song you both loved, a stupid meme he’d laugh at, you had to fight the urge to send it to him. The more you tried to pull away, the more you missed him.

And it didn’t take long for Jisung to notice.

At first, it was subtle, small, hesitant comments when you did see him. “You’ve been really busy lately, huh?” he’d say, his tone casual but his eyes searching. You’d nod and mumble something about work, trying to avoid the way his gaze lingered on you, as if he was trying to read between the lines.

But Jisung wasn’t the type to let things go for long. One day, after you’d bailed on plans for the third time that week, he called and said something that stopped you in your tracks....

“Did I do something wrong?”

You stared at the screen, your chest tightening. The words were simple, but they carried the weight of everything you’d been trying to avoid.

“If I messed up, just tell me. I don’t want things to get weird between us.”

Weird. That’s what he thought this was, a misunderstanding, a bump in the road. He didn’t know how hard you were trying to keep your feelings buried, how every moment with him felt like walking a tightrope between happiness and heartbreak.

Your fingers hovered over the mute button, a dozen responses swirling in your mind. You wanted to tell him the truth, to spill everything you’d been holding back. But the thought of losing him, of ruining what you still had, froze you in place.

Finally, you answered back “It’s not you. I’ve just been overwhelmed with work. I’m sorry if I made you feel otherwise.”

He replied almost instantly.

“Okay. Just let me know if you need anything, yeah? I’m here.”

You let out a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding, but the relief was short-lived. Because as much as you wanted to believe that he’d buy your excuse, you could feel the doubt in his words.

And you knew, deep down, that you couldn’t keep this up forever....

----------------------------------------------------------

It had been over a month since you’d last seen him when Jisung finally confronted you. The day had been long, and you were heading home, headphones on, the city noise muffled by a soothing playlist. The sun was setting, painting the sky in soft hues of gold and pink, and you were thankful for the solitude. That was until your name cut through the air, sharp and unmistakable.

“Y/N!”

You froze, your heart sinking as you recognized his voice. Turning, you saw Jisung jogging toward you, his expression a mix of determination and something you couldn’t quite place,anger, maybe? Concern?

“Jisung,” you said, pulling out your headphones, your voice tinged with guilt.

“What’s going on?” he demanded, his tone firm but not unkind.

“What do you mean?” you replied, feigning confusion as you shifted your weight nervously.

“Don’t do that,” he said, stepping closer, his gaze piercing. “Don’t pretend like you don’t know what I’m talking about. You’ve been avoiding me, Y/N. For weeks. And I want to know why."

“I haven’t been avoiding you,” you lied weakly, looking anywhere but at him.

“Really?” he said, crossing his arms. “Because it feels like I’ve been chasing a ghost. You barely respond to my texts, you cancel plans left and right and when I try to call, it goes straight to voicemail. So, tell me....what’s really going on?”

Your chest tightened, and you could feel your carefully constructed walls cracking. “I’ve been busy,” you mumbled, knowing how hollow the excuse sounded.

“Busy?” he repeated, his frustration evident. “Too busy to even say hi? Too busy to talk to someone you called your best friend?”

The word “best friend” stung, and you flinched visibly.

Jisung noticed. “What is it?” he asked, his tone softening. “Did I do something wrong?”

“No,” you said quickly, the words spilling out before you could stop them. “It’s not you. It’s...”

“Don’t,” he interrupted, shaking his head. “Don’t say it’s you, because we both know that’s not true.”

You sighed deeply, your shoulders slumping. “Can we not do this here?”

He hesitated, then gestured toward a nearby bench under a line of cherry blossom trees that had already begun to bloom, their petals swirling gently in the breeze. “Fine. Let’s talk.”

The walk to the bench felt like an eternity, and when you finally sat down, you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him.

“I can’t do this anymore,” you said at last, your voice trembling.

“Do what?” he asked, leaning closer, his brows furrowing in confusion.

“Pretend,” you whispered. “Pretend like I’m okay just being your friend when I’m not.”

He blinked, clearly taken aback. “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying…” You swallowed hard, your heart racing. “I’m saying I’ve been in love with you for years, Jisung. Since college. And I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to ruin what we had. But then Nari...”

“Nari?” he interrupted, his confusion stark.

“Yeah, Nari,” you said, bitterness creeping into your voice. “The girl you were dating. The one who told me you weren’t interested in me, that you only saw me as a friend.”

His face shifted from confusion to disbelief. “Y/N, I don’t know who Nari is.”

Your heart skipped a beat. “What do you mean you don’t know her? She told me...”

“I don’t care what she told you,” he said, his voice firm. “It wasn’t true. I never said that. And for the record, I’ve never dated anyone named Nari.”

You stared at him, the ground beneath you seeming to shift. “But she…”

“Y/N,” he said, his voice soft but resolute, “if you’re talking about that random girl who used to hang out at our college meetups, she wasn’t even my type. She was just… there.”

Your mind reeled, the memory of Nari’s smug smile flashing in your mind. “She lied?”

“Looks like it,” he said, his tone laced with frustration. “But that’s not what matters right now.”

“What does?” you asked, your voice barely a whisper.

“You,” he said simply. “And the fact that I’ve been in love with you since college, too.”

Your eyes widened, and you felt your heart stop. “What?”

“I’m serious,” he said, leaning closer. “I thought I was being obvious back then. I always made excuses to be around you, to make you laugh, to sit next to you in every class. But you never seemed interested, so I… I let it go.”

Tears welled up in your eyes, the weight of years of misunderstandings crashing down on you. “I thought you didn’t care,” you said, your voice breaking.

And I thought you didn’t,” he replied, his hand reaching out to cover yours. “But I’m done assuming.”

He leaned closer, his gaze searching yours. “Tell me I’m not too late.”

You shook your head, tears spilling over as a laugh bubbled out of you. “You’re not too late.”

His smile was soft, tentative, as if he couldn’t quite believe this was happening. And then, slowly, he leaned in, his hand cupping your cheek as his lips met yours.

The world seemed to still, the noise of the city fading into nothing. His kiss was gentle but sure, as though he’d been waiting for this moment as long as you had. Your hands found their way to his shoulders, gripping him like he might disappear if you let go.

When he finally pulled back, his forehead rested against yours, and he let out a shaky breath. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.”

You laughed softly, your heart feeling lighter than it had in years. “Maybe I do.”

A loud meow broke the moment, and both of you turned to see a stray cat sitting by Jisung’s feet, its wide eyes fixed on him as if demanding attention.

Jisung groaned, though his smile never wavered. “Even the cats can’t leave me alone.”

You laughed, wiping at your tears. “Maybe it’s a sign.”

“A sign of what?” he asked, his grin turning playful.

“That you’re stuck with me now,” you teased, squeezing his hand.

“Good,” he said, his voice warm and certain. “Because I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

As the two of you walked home hand in hand, the stray cat trailing behind like a self-appointed chaperone companion, you couldn’t help but smile. For the first time in a long time, everything felt right....

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*ੈ✩ENDNOTE - Everything Here is a work of fiction and my own imagination. This does not represent the real life characteristics of Stray Kids. Make sure to like, reblog comment, and follow me for new updates!

[nalyra-dreaming]

New interviews with Rolin, Mark, Jacob and Delainey - and they have some nice tidbits in them!

The ATX TV Festival Panel:

we’ll find Lestat a little more than mid-way through a 50-stop concert tour (around stop 33, to be exact)

it’s his pointed response to Louis’ book with Daniel Malloy (they wrote the name wrong, lol, for those of you who know:))

Rolin has has 16 songs composed by Daniel Hart on his phone for the upcoming episodes (GIMME!!!)

Rolin didn’t feel the writing for the final moment was where they wanted it to be, particularly in relation to Louis’ level of contrition.

Interesting that Rolin says both, Sam and Jacob, were pissed to only get two takes and no text instructions for the reunion :)

several iconic characters from The Vampire Chronicles will be making their long-awaited debuts, including Akasha, Gabrielle, and Marius (so even more we do not know of?!)

A new Jacob interview:

"Season two emotionally destroyed me, but I felt like it was worth it. Anything’s worth it for Louis, you know?"

"The best fantasy is always very relatable, and this show deals with some really wrenching subjects and some difficult things to hold inside you. I think if you just took that home with you every night, you’d be in trouble, or every morning you’d be in a lot of trouble."

On Armand's and Louis' fight: "We just went for it, and because we’re working in a safe environment and all you have to do is pay attention to what the other person’s doing, and you get there."

On Delainey: "Delainey is just a brilliant actor and went in with a really strong, personal way into Claudia. I could just respond to her and just enjoy playing alongside her. She completely made it her own from the jump."

On the reunion: "Rolin was asking us how comfortable we felt about it, and there were versions where Louis was sort of just apologizing, or it felt like he was groveling a little bit. It just never felt that comfortable, and it didn’t really feel like that was what it should be. It should be about them connecting. So, we talked a lot about that scene with Rolin and came to what I think was a really beautiful thing, which is that Louie’s finally accepting his vampirism as a gift as long as he decides to live that existence."

On Sam: "We have just built this trust where I implicitly trust him with whatever we must do. I hope that he feels the same way. It felt symbolic that all we built together meant that we could handle that reunion. I’ve never had a work partnership like that, like you could throw us into anything together and we would be fine. We’ll figure it out and we’ll have fun doing it."

And last but definitely not least, Delainey:

Hayles’ Claudia feels older, more reflective, angrier, and her performance is grounded in something deeply personal. “I think Claudia has a lot of rage,” she says. “And it’s understandable rage. Playing her was kind of therapeutic, because I got to delve into a part of myself I didn’t think I had. She’s one of the most complex female characters that I’ve seen lately.”

“Jacob played a big part in the foundation of me finding Claudia,” she says. “We went for a long walk before filming. We just spoke about everything, and he was like, ‘Go kill it.’” The support carried through production. “He was always there, checking in on me on the days we were filming heavy scenes. I cannot thank him enough. He made my season two journey extremely lovely.”

On Madeleine: “You have these two souls that are extremely lonely, and they find each other in that loneliness. I think it’s very pure,”

On Claudia: It’s a constant suffering.” The pain of being frozen in time, never able to grow into the woman she is mentally and emotionally, hangs over everything she does. “She’s extremely uncomfortable, but she loves being a vampire,”

On the trial: "She’s going through flashbacks, learning things she didn’t know before, and it hones in the point that she was never really enough. What was she made for, actually?”

On Sam and Claudia being similar to Lestat: "I love working with Sam. Him and Jacob took me out to dinner a couple of times in Prague,” she recalls. “We spoke about the characters and I can’t speak for Sam, but I think we both agreed that they are very similar people. And he knows her, she knows him, and I feel like Louis is the only one who’s living in his little world of what he’s created. [Claudia and Lestat] have an understanding of each other, which is why I think she calls out to him as she’s going. Obviously, he’s the only one in the room that she trusts as well. It’s like, ‘We know we have our differences, but help. You’re my dad.'”

On Assad: "Assad is usually very fun on set. But when he becomes Armand, there’s a quietness to him. It’s very unsettling,” she says. “Before we start doing the scenes, I could see him starting his transformation and it was really lovely to see. And when we come out of takes, he’s back to himself again. Working with Assad was so interesting. I loved it.”