#oh wait I forgot swearing is rude in some places

[faislittlewhiteraven]

Undertale Yellow: An amazing fangame with one glaring thing I hate about it (that I need to rant about or else I'm going to go insane).

As the title says, Undertale Yellow was a game I really enjoyed playing. Lots of fun dialogue and designs, utterly fantastic art and animation (holy hell that Flowey fight! <3 <3 <3), great music and feels, etc. Seriously it deserves a ton of praise, not only as a fully completed fangame that took years of development, but as genuinely amazing prequel to one of my favorite games of all time.

...Unfortunately. Much as I truly enjoyed playing through the majority of the game, when I finished the True Pacifist route I was intensely unhappy with how that went and while the credits scenes and funeral for Cover helped ease some of the worst of it, I cannot help but wonder who the flipping f$%& in the development team thought presenting Clover's suicide as the 'just and happy' ending that all the friend characters accept with barely any argument was a good idea?!

Now to clarify: I went into Undertale Yellow knowing that Clover was going to die and that there were good odds their death was going to be self sacrificial or involve suicide. Undertale Yellow is a prequel to Undertale after all and children being murdered and/or sacrificing themselves for the greater good of lovable monster kind is an established part of the setting.

I came in knowing this game was bound to end tragically. I was excited to see how this game would pull that inevitable tragedy off while exploring the Yellow soul's theme of Justice and staying true to Undertale's established canon.

And all the way right up to the end of the True Pacifist ending I truly thought they'd nailed it: The constant pressure of the monsters suffering and being trapped in the Underground despite their sweet and earnest natures, Dalv's clear issues regarding a human, Starlow's unintentional reinforcement of the 'one sacrifice for the greater good' idea with his trolley problem reenactment, the repeated back to back betrayals from characters who should be friends (the Feisty Five, Starlow, Ceraba) hurting Clover instead, the dull realization in universe for Clover that all their efforts to find the missing human children were all for nothing...

It was fantastic. There was a real sense of looming dread for me, seeing all those moments and just knowing in my gut that after the desperate struggle with the agonized and grieving Ceraba, ranting about how monster kind is doomed as it stands, that Clover would start thinking of sacrificing their life for monster kind, especially when their 'sense of Justice' at the start of the game had them willingly jump into a gaping pit they couldn't have possibly have known the height of, for the sake of mission they (according to Flowey) easily abandon when offered a loving home instead. (aka implying not so great things about how much they value their own life)

So. With all that 'hyped for tragedy' in mind, there I am at the True Pacifist ending. I've just spared Ceraba, the friends are all arguing as to how to keep Clover (and possibly any future humans who fall) safe and Clover begins to go into something of a zone out, thinking about all the things they've heard and seen over the course of their adventure.

This is it! I think to myself as I watch it play out. This is where Clover, after everything they've been through, makes the tragic yet understandable mistake of running away from their friends and confronting Asgore just as Flowey kept encouraging them to! Not to fight and bring Asgore to justice but to try talking him down and when they fail that, offering up their life to help and 'save' their friends even as the narrative will (matching Undertale) will make it clear that this is a mistake and only hurts everyone involved, just like every suicide and child murder in Undertale hurts everyone involved until Frisk is able to end the cycle of pain by rejecting the Kill or be Killed premise and setting the monsters free! Wow, I can't believe it, they set it up so well, what a perfect way to tie into Undertale's greater narrative via tragic prequel, I love this eeeeee!

Except of course that's not what happens.

My first hint something is off is when the quotes Clover's 'remembering' in their little bubble start being way too positive for the set up (also there's nothing from the trolley problem section). The second is when the music shifts from quiet to holy and then outright happy.

And third is when Clover snaps out of it and point blank tells their friends they choose to die. Now, I'm getting a little confused and wary at this but alright, this is a pretty long sequence already but I guess we get to have one final hope moment before Clover somehow gets away from their friends to die (maybe Flowey if not Asgore?)-

-and then I am left absolutely flabbergasted as the friends who just spent the last huge chunk of the game trying to protect Clover/getting talked out of killing them because 'its not right' end up agreeing with Clover's decision after a pitiful amount of arguing against it (where the utterly stupid 'there's no other option' reasoning is used as the primary reasoning despite all the other options being very clearly stated just moments ago), before the woman who's entire massive trauma arc that is centered around her accidentally killing her own child out of blind faith for 'the greater good', proceeds to assist Clover with their suicide (who she clearly views as a surrogate child despite her best attempts not to) while the other characters meekly say goodbye, give hugs and leave all while bittersweet but mostly sweet 'great job honey, this sucks but we're proud of you' music plays (also Flowey says stuff but like, its Flowey so frankly he could say anything and it'd be fine. He's not the issue here).

...Wow.

What a screwed up way for that to end. Like, I clearly get the 'idea' that Clover is meant to be noble and good and such but like, really? A fan game of Undertale (where one of the main ending messages was 'Don't kill and don't be killed', where a child's suicidal attempts to free monster kind lead to every major tragedy in the game, and where suicide was repeatedly shown to only make things worse through Asgore and Alphys in numerous neutral endings) is the game that decides having its protagonist's pointless self sacrifice should be honored and treated as a good ending by the narrative?????

How did none of the otherwise clearly brilliant people working on this miss the very bad, no good implications of Clover's friends being talked into letting them kill themselves and having the narrative frame it as anything but the worst end?????

I have many, many questions. And concerns. And...

Look, I do get it. Undertale Yellow is still a fangame. There are going to be weird notes in the tone due to different writers and such, and I should just be happy that the game was finished it at all, and accept that this god awful scene is probably just the result of its creators really, really wanting their beloved characters to go out as kindly (and beautifully drawn/animated) as possible with all the hugs and feels of canon Undertale without taking into account how much the very different context might warp the tone and the characterizations of everyone in the entire scene.

But like. God damn. There is something very off putting about not letting brave kind Martlet refuse to take this as an answer and then finding she actually can't stop it happening (and no her saying that after like two sentences from 'Ceraba who's judgement about the human sucks' doesn't count). About Starlow not recognising he and his posse might've had something to do with why Clover is thinking this. About Ceraba not on some level going 'IF THIS IS YOUR CHOICE THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU LET ME USE YOU TO SAVE KANAKO?!' Edit: Also a totally waste of prequel opportunity not to let Asgore visibly make the worst choices we canonly know he made on screen. Yes, he gets to stab Clover in the Flawed!Pacist route but Clover's trying to shoot him in that one; the fact we don't get to see him stab a 'far too willing to die for their friends and not defending themselves' Clover as the friend trio can do nothing to stop it from happening feels like such a cop out I swear XD

I'm all for 'Clover dies willingly' at the end of the True Pacifist but they way they did it was just... Really ugh in a way I'm finding tricky to word and I'm honestly shocked I haven't seen more people point it out (though admittedly that might be because I haven't really looked around much). ...So yeah. I know its too late to change said ending but really kinda hoping at some point one of the Undertale Yellow team realizes this might be an issue and thinks to add a content warning in the game's opening or something because it could really use one of those. Also that for any future projects they do, they happen to do a little more research into how to avoid accidentally glorify suicide as opposed to having it as a tragedy because damn they did not manage that here whatsoever.

---

ANYWAY, with all that rant finally out of my head some other stuff about Undertale Yellow I be feeling strongly:

Flowey's boss battle and the lead up to it is incredible and without a doubt makes the neutral route the most amazing well crafted route in the game. 10/10 may have already mentioned this in the massive rant above but if so gonna repeat it anyway because it's just that damn good.

Genocide route being a deconstruction of the 'disproportionate revenge is justice' 90s Anti Hero is very cool theme wise but the lack of the lack of stuff like notes in shops saying 'please don't kill my family' and monsters with less screen time getting more fleshed out drags it down a little, as does Clover not actually choking on dust or getting attacked by the human souls or something at the very end. Really do love the Martlet battle flashback moments and Axel's horrifically timed confession scene though.

The general uselessness of the ACT menu in big 'endurance' fights as well as the lack of 'alternative sparing ACTS' makes fights a lot less fun than they could be and I found myself a lot less willing to use them in general as a result despite them being my favorite thing about Undertale. Did still adore what fun stuff was in them though so I think it's just a case of them being a tad too out of focus compared to the bullet hell gameplay (which I'm not that good at) for my tastes.

Pacifist route could've really used some more optional hangouts and/or letters from the main friends. As is, the peak 'hang out' part of the game for me was the nap room I spent maybe two minutes in, and Dalv especially could've benefitted a ton from a bit more presence (I got more interaction from Mo and the rabbit who's tongue was stuck to a pole and I'm not happy about that? If nothing else not getting to see the inside of Martlet's house or help Dalv build his new home feel like lost opportunities).

Personal pet peeve and nothing too serious but not a fan of Asgore not getting the kill on Clover outside of Flawed Pacifist. Makes sense on most routes (glares at T!Pacifist again) given the way the plot is set up and all but given Toby Fox has repeatedly stated Asgore killed all the humans who fell post Chara it just drives me nuts XD (As does the poor Blue Soul getting treated as a killer/evil but like, I can see where people are coming on that one and Undertale Yellow uses that to amp up Chujin's nightmare fuel vibes fantastically so I shall reluctantly congratulate that theory's use there and steel myself for the inevitable 'wait you're using Undertale Yellow lore but Axis didn't kill Integrity?' questions that will be posted on my 'will eventually be posted' Undertale fanfics XDDDD)

Love all the main cast, especially Martlet, and I am way too hyped for the day Undertale Yellow and its main cast get their own fandom tags on AO3.

...Kanako's death was incredibly stupid and avoidable but like, that's kind of what I like about it? I really also wanna know which Amalgamite she became (I'm thinking probably the one that tucks Frisk in to sleep and pats them on the head because of her and Ceraba's little 'going to sleep' game but like, I could see a very heart wrenching case for her being part of So Cold as well).

Anyone reading this who somehow hasn't played Undertale Yellow should really stop reading this and go play the game. It's free, its (one major thematic issue I have moral objections to aside) pretty decently written, and hey, more Undertale stuff to have fun making fanworks with <3

Goddamn has Undertale Yellow kicked my drive to write Undertale fanfic into overload XD Thank you Undertale Yellow team for helping me get all fired up again and sorry about all the grr but dang it, it needed to be said and now that it's out of my system I can throw myself into finding ways to incorporate your settings and characters into fanworks of my own (admittedly the AU elements might make things kinda tricky -Asgore having to kill EVERY human child even more so- but that nifty little detail of early Royal Guard Martlet having and being willing to abuse her access to the Hotland Lab allows me so many ways to have Chujin be a well meaning awful person and I am living for it!) <3 <3 <3

[kaeichi]

ღ ˚⋅ coffee talk — mikage reo.

mikage reo is not addicted to caffeine.

that's what he keeps telling nagi, anyway. the latter doesn't know why he keeps reiterating that “fact” either—he doesn't even care, nor does he believe him in the first place—but even someone like nagi would suspect something is amiss solely by the way reo keeps coming back to the coffee shop that the heir deemed second-rate not too long ago.

today marks day eleven of visiting said coffee shop in a row; nagi barely steps his foot in, and he already wants to leave.

“welcome, reo! and nagi too!”

that something that nagi suspects comes in the form of a living, breathing person; one that usually takes reo’s order and makes his specialized coffee for him.

(“it tastes different somehow, nagi!” reo had explained to him the other day, justifying his countless visits and spending too much on tips—though for the pro soccer player and CEO of a business corporation, absolutely nothing is too much for him. “you should give it a try. i swear, that barista has magic hands or something. i've had so many macchiatos before, but none of them has tasted so…delectable, so lush, and so—”

“oh, i’m sure.” nagi commented offhandedly, zoning out and hoping this is just another one of reo’s many fleeting interests.)

unfortunately that is not the case this time, especially not with the way reo’s legs immediately go stiff when he advances rather awkwardly over the counter, as if he suddenly forgot how to walk just by the sound of your voice. nagi can tell how you pretend not to notice, a gentle smile on your face beckoning him closer, your eyes as warm as the yellow string lights hung on the walls around the quiet shop and the freshly ground arabica beans that you’ve been brewing in the back.

this is so…yeah, no. nagi should definitely just leave.

“the usual caramel macchiato today? or just a regular latte this time?” your eyes look up from the register when reo doesn't verbally reply, peering at him through your lashes, and he wants to smack himself for accidentally being entranced by your lips moving and taking too long to answer. he can already hear nagi’s voice taunting him: get a grip already, reo.

“yes, please.”

“…sorry, which one?”

he takes a second to breath. he has to, or else he'll end up making an even bigger fool of himself. “uh, i'll just get a latte. since i already had one this morning.”

you then focus your full attention to him, a teasing look evident in your gaze. “you should really tone down the caffeine intake, reo. i can't imagine how that'd be healthy for you.”

“haha, consider it as a compliment to your coffee-making skills.”

there is an actual growing concern that you have for him, since he has been showing up for the past eleven days and getting macchiatos or lattes; at times even twice a day, so your mild unease is valid. there is also that possibility that he's been getting those for someone else, but you discard that thought when you see him stay in the shop sometimes, leisurely drinking from his steaming mug as he types away on his laptop on nights that he's not overly busy.

nonetheless, he remains your favorite customer, and it's not just because of his generous tips and all. you do wonder what he does for a living; would it be rude to ask? though, you suppose you can reserve that question when you start to get to know him personally on some other occasion.

wait, get to know him personally? you glance towards the elegantly dressed male once again once you're done pouring the scalding liquid onto the disposable cup, taking in his lavish appearance and slicked back violet hair—you can't help but think he may be out of your league.

but something tells you that you shouldn't be afraid, not with the hint of pink dusting his cheeks and the earnest, tender smile that always adorns his face whenever he talks to you.

“my shift is ending in five minutes. if you wanna wait, then maybe we can head out together…?”

you're relieved to have taken the chance, because the purple-haired male suddenly jolts, “y-yeah, of course! let me just tell–” when reo turns around to see that his companion is nowhere to be found, he sighs. “…nevermind.”

he hears you stifle a giggle, a sweet melody falling in his ears, and he's so glad he found the time to squeeze in this quick trip tonight despite his hectic schedule. when you hand him his latte, the corners of his mouth inadvertently lifts up as he sees your handwriting on the cup in black ink:

Reo ღ ◡̈

a few minutes later, after you have changed out of your black apron and gathered your stuff, reo walks out of the coffee shop with you, the chilly autumn air breezing past his skin.

his eyes flit downward when you rub your hands in an attempt to heat them up.

it's cold tonight, coldest it has been in a week, yet reo feels warm all of a sudden, even though he barely had a sip from his drink. he wipes his free hand on his slacks, a build up of sweat coating his palm. he regrets not taking his blazer off in his car, because it now feels uncomfortably tight around him, and since when did it get so hot—

“you okay, reo?” you cast him a side glance over the shoulder, eyes raking over his restless form, “you're so fidgety.”

“sorry, yeah. it's just the coffee.”

you give a pointed look, wordlessly reminding him again that maybe he should dial it down or some. it's fine, he's not addicted to caffeine, to something else maybe, but not caffeine. reo’s gaze drifts downwards again, glancing at your empty palm again, and… oh.

that must've been why his fingers kept twitching. for now, he refrains from reaching out, hopeful that this wouldn't be his last encounter with you, and that he'll eventually find the courage someday.

slicked back hair reo.... reo i need u so bad ples

[wonijinjin]

trust fall

synopsis: mingyu is afraid of heights, but what happens when you try to convince him to go on the ferris wheel in the amusement park?

word count: 0.9k | genre: fluff, if you squint angst and comfort, humour/crack | pairing: mingyu x gn! reader | warnings: mention of the word ‘death’

you and mingyu have been planning your date night to the amusement park for weeks, and now you two finally had some spare time to spend together, which was rare nowadays as you both had busy schedules all the time. after a delicious dinner cooked by your chef boyfriend you got into his car and drove to the park. it was a bit further away from the city than you expected, but you had a great drive nonetheless, catching up on how things had been going in the past few weeks.

when you arrived the first thing you suggested was going on the ferris wheel as watching the sunset from there seemed like a pretty romantic idea, however unfortunately mingyu did not really appreciate your creativity as he was notoriously afraid of heights. “come on mingyu baby, it isn’t that high, it is literally the shortest ferris wheel i have ever seen for real!” you said, trying to convince your six foot tall baby of a boyfriend to agree. “i will hold your hand the entire time if you want it baby. please, i really want to see it!” you pleaded with puppy eyes, which has always been effective when trying to win him over. “no way. are you crazy? what if it breaks? we could literally die! i am way too handsome for dying here on a ferris wheel, that would be so pathetic.” he whined, clearly more scared than you thought he would be. “okay, fine. i won’t push it further ‘gyu.” you sighed, disappointed. “let’s go, i guess i will have to miss out on a romantic ride with the most beautiful scenery ever.” you commented with a pout.

“i can’t believe you actually agreed!” you jumped with excitement while waiting in line for the ferris wheel ten minutes after him saying no to the idea. “well you are not alone, because neither can i. the things i do for you, you little brat!” he groaned dramatically in disapproval, but you could see the smile hiding in the corner of his mouth. “hey, rude! that little brat loves you very much!” you smacked his arm lightly. “if you loved me you wouldn’t have suggested this in the first place! you know i hate these things!” he pouted. “it will be fun i swear! you will get all the kisses in the world up there, i think it is a pretty good deal, no better distraction needed.” you smirked.

it was your turn to enter the cabins so you grabbed his hand and got into one. everything was going smoothly…well, except for your scaredy-cat boyfriend clinging onto you for dear life and knocking the air out of your lungs, you didn’t mind it though since he already did you a favour by agreeing to go up together. when you arrived at the top of the wheel it stopped so people could admire the view. only one thing was wrong with this action, mingyu who hasn’t been on anything higher than his height in years didn’t know the reason for the wait. “oh my god we aren’t gonna survive, are we? i told you this was a bad idea! how are we gonna get down from here now?” he panicked, borderline crying. “mingyu baby, noone is gonna stay here, it stopped in order to provide time for us to look at the scenery, everything is fine.” you tried to calm him down. “but what if-“ you kissed him, pulling him closer than he already was, caressing his neck and playing with his hair in the process. he was taken aback by your sudden action, but kissed back passionately, loosening the grip he had on your hand since sitting down in the cabin. he could only focus on you, the way your lips felt on his, your touch light as a feather, yet so firm and comforting. after some time you finally broke apart. “was this a good distraction?” you asked in a curious tone. he seemed confused for a moment then took in his surroundings. “woah, i literally forgot where i was for a moment.” he mumbled, still a bit dazed. “look out, the sunset is so gorgeous!” you whispered while giving him a peck on his lips. “not more gorgeous than you, my love.” he smiled. you hugged him tightly and the two of you got to enjoy the view for a little while before the wheel started moving again, this time taking you back to the ground.

“you really are something special, baby. after you kissed me i wasn’t scared, not even for a moment. i felt so safe, because i was with you. thank you for this, it was amazing.” he said after climbing out, picking you up and smothering you in kisses. “i am glad you enjoyed it after all. it was something worth seeing.” you grinned, happy that your boyfriend got over his fear. “i got the chance to see it thanks to you baby. it would have been a shame if we ditched this because of me.” he giggled. “but i am happy to be on solid ground again though!” he added, which made you chuckle. you kissed him one more time. “my hero puppy.”

[emeritusemeritus]

86 Baby! [Eddie Munson x Reader]

Part 1

Title: 86 baby!

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader (friends to lovers), Implied Steve Harrington x Reader

Timeline: S4, set two weeks before graduation. Some Canon has been altered to fit the story; no Vecna, Byers never moved and Hop is alive.

Summary: In two weeks, you and your best friend Eddie would be graduating, taking your planned road trip and riding off into the sunset to leave Hawkins behind, until one little secret throws everything down the drain.

Warnings: it’s a little angsty, swearing, implied fake relationship, standard tropes, Eddie gets a little mean in part 2, drinking, deception.

Monday.

"Sooo..." Eddie draws out as he takes his usual seat next to you in the cafeteria, none of the other regulars appearing yet.

Eddie had met you outside of your classroom to walk with you to the lunch room, appearing outside the wooden door suspiciously early before the first bell sounded, a tradition that had begun on your first day of high school. He'd paused briefly as you approached the usual table and gestured flamboyantly for you to sit down first, sliding your chair in for you slightly before taking his own seat at the head of the table.

He sits awkwardly with one leg up on the plastic chair and one dangling next to you outstretched, but somehow for Eddie, that's what is comfortable.

“Tonight. I'm feeling a really crappy budget slasher and too much pizza," He says with a grin, placing down his metal lunchbox and absently pulling out a baggie of trail mix, which is mostly pretzels, navigating the array of suspicious paraphernalia inside.

"Oh," you reply, brain working overtime as you fight to think of a feasible excuse to avoid your weekly ritual, having forgotten all about it under your current stresses. "I'm sorry I totally forgot to tell you!" You giggle awkwardly, the little chuckle sounding absurdly fake to even your own ears. "I've got to help my mom pack tonight, she's going to see her friend from college over the weekend, I said I'd try and spend some time with her before she left, she's actually picking me up early tonight so you won't have to drop me home." You shrug gently, not quite meeting his eyes as you feel his curious gaze lingering upon you as he takes in your words. Okay, not a complete lie but also not the complete truth either.

"Oh, okay," he mumbles, sounding so dejected that you immediately feel the tugging weight of shame at your avoidance of him.

"Maybe we could do it another night instead, maybe Thursday?" You ask quickly, lifting your eyes to his, seeing that his face portrays every ounce of disappointment that his words did.

"On Hellfire night?" He asks sharply, his tone clipped and rudely sarcastic. "What's going on with you?" He asks brashly, eyes squinting as he examines your face, knowing that something isn't right.

"What do you mean?" You ask, trying to feign innocence.

"What do I mean? Lets see princess, firstly you forget our Monday movie night, a tradition unbroken since the dawn of time within the realms of our friendship, you disappeared on me last week, not warning me that your mom was picking you up early so I waited in the car park for 40 minutes. You didn't show up to our gig last Tuesday, and now you're forgetting Hellfire meets?" You can almost feel the twist of the knife with each of his words, his accusatory tone only increasing the guilt within you. Hearing all the examples together made you feel awful; all the evidence laid bare before you as to why you were a shitty friend recently.

"So come on, what's the jig princess?" He leans forward in his chair, eyes still squinting as you fight not to squirm under his intense gaze.

"Nothing! I told you I wasn't feeling well last week at first break, and I left a message with Miss Thomas to let you know I was going home!" You reasoned, still lying through your teeth at the motive, though you had thought to ask the office administrator to pass along a message to let him know you wouldn't be riding home with him, though they clearly had never reached out to him. "And Tuesday I had to take an extra shift at Benny's," you shrugged, trying to deflect the blame. “You know my car’s fucked, I’m trying to get it fixed.”

Mercifully, Gareth and Jeff were quickly making their way over to the table with their lunch trays and you visibly deflated with relief. Eddie shot a look towards the approaching party and turned once more to glare at you, fixing you with a look that told you that this conversation was far from over.

More of the Hellfire group began to spill in and you were thankful for the distraction, seeing that Dustin was hyped up over something that dominated the conversation you were barely listening to. Eddie was tense throughout the lunch, offering little to the conversation as he sat back and ate his pretzels, glaring about the room and huffing under his breath. The guys knew better than to provoke him when he was in this mood, knowing he was volatile at the best of times and so they carried on their conversation around him, trying to include him every now and then but not pushing.

When the bell rang, you quickly gathered up your bag and the lunch you'd only picked at, having found your appetite severely diminished by the tension and lingering guilt from the conversation with Eddie. Luckily, your Monday afternoon schedule did not coincide with Eddie's and you wouldn't have to see him for the rest of the day. You felt guilt and uneasy at lying to him, having never done so before, but you reasoned that it was for a good cause, even if you did feel conflicted.

The afternoon dragged on as you sat in History class, not paying a single ounce of attention to Mrs Click as you jotted down plans and lists and notes in your little notebook as ideas popped into your head. When the bell rang, signalling the time to head to the last class of the day, you all but sprinted out the front doors of the school and out into the car park where a car was waiting for you. Specifically, a burgundy 1983 BMW 733i.

You turned your head quickly to try and see if anyone was looking and quickly slipped into the passenger side, throwing down your bag into the footwell as you turned to greet your chauffeur.

"Hey," you smiled, looking up at the driver, who offered you a warm smile back, before you nervously look around once again to check that no one was watching.

"Hey you," Steve said with a wide smile, running his hand through his hair as he rested his elbow on the open window.

"Drive! I don't wanna get caught!" You prompted, quickly securing your seatbelt as you ushered him to drive away quickly. He chuckled, shaking his head but did as you requested and immediately began to drive out the parking lot and onto the main road.

"You know if you're ashamed of being seen with me, we might need to have a little chat," he grins, not looking at you but instead focusing on the road in front, a grin tugging at his lips at his own sarcastic comment.

"Oh hush, Hair-ington," you joke, rolling your eyes. "Simply thinking of you. You sure you wanna be seen collecting a kid from high school after you graduated last year, old man?" I joked, trying to push his buttons just a little. His face instantly scrunched up on displeasure until he shot me a disbelieving look.

"Pretty sure your boyfriend is older than me," he grumbles. I immediately know whom he's referring to.

"Eddie is not my boyfriend for the hundredth time," I say quickly, perhaps a little too defensively. "Plus he's still at school, so it's not creepy." You chuckle.

"Yeah because that makes it better," he adds sarcastically. You playfully blob your tongue out at him before nudging him gently by the shoulder.

"Not for much longer though," Steve says after a few moments, referring to our upcoming graduation. A pit of nervous excitement settles in your stomach as you think of your plans for graduation, glad to be rid of Hawkins High.

"I know, less than two weeks!" You babble excitedly, earning a laugh from Steve at your apparent elation.

"You know it's really not all it's cracked up to be, the adult world," he reasons, suddenly looking downcast as he thinks to how his life has turned around.

"Hey, just because you didn't go to college doesn't mean you're a failure you know," I protest, knowing that his lack of college education was always a sore spot with him, having spoken about it at great lengths only last week.

"I know it's just, not really how I thought I'd end up. Always figured I'd be able to leave Hawkins and branch out, broaden my horizons and all that, or I'd get stuck working for my dads company. Never thought I'd be working in a rental video store 40 hours a week and still living at home with my parents at 19," he mutters, grabbing his nose with his hand as you'd observed him so anytime he was upset or stressed.

"Yeah but at least you're free," you counter, adding more before he could protest, "the way I see it, you're making money, that money can go on a deposit or the start of a college fund, whatever you want to do more. Then when you finally get where you want to be, you have the satisfaction that you made it all by yourself, no help from mummy and daddy, just your own accomplishments."

He's quiet for a few seconds as he ponders over your words, nodding gently as he processes them.

"When did you get so wise?" He chuckles, looking over at you, earning a laugh in return.

"I've always been wise, you just never chose to listen." Both of you laugh as you watch the tree line get denser and denser as you pull away from the main roads, out towards the Byers' house.

The Byers house was the perfect place for your secret little meetings. It was hidden away at the ass end of Hawkins, tucked away behind the lab, a fair drive from the centre of town and away from all your friends houses, including the furthest place from the trailer park, (not counting the Wheeler house but that was too risky incase saw you and Mike opened his big mouth). The Byers' house was close enough to Harrington's that he could park up at home on Cornwallis and walk across to the Byers' on Mirkwood through the woods and no one would be aware of anything out of the ordinary, should they come round poking their noses in.

Joyce was a gracious and willing host and had offered you her house for your little meetings, keeping you away from prying eyes, something both of you were thankful for.

Approaching the Byers' house, you climbed out of the BMW and gave a little wave as Steve drove back to his house to park the car; he would join you in 5 minutes after walking the little path that lead him out directly facing Castle Byers, ready for your meeting.

Your little meets had been happening more and more frequently in the past couple of weeks and you were almost sad that they would be coming to an end, both because you were enjoying your time spent with Steve and because it was fun to sneak around. Joyce had naturally been sworn to secrecy and true to her word had not told a single soul, except maybe Hopper. Jonathan had run into you accidentally one day as he arrived home early from dropping Will off somewhere but it really hadn't been too hard to cover up as Steve jolted out the back door and you had stuck around for dinner with Joyce and Jonathan, something not entirely unheard of.

The only issue was Eddie, as proven by your little set-to in the cafeteria today. He was becoming increasingly paranoid and suspicious of your whereabouts and your sudden flakiness, which was alarming. You'd called off your meeting with Steve Thursday in order to sit in on Hellfire instead, trying to prove to Eddie that you were still there for him, though you felt torn once you realised what you'd rather be doing.

The rest of the week came and went and you'd been entirely successful in hiding your rendezvous with Harrington, even seeming to put Eddie's mind to rest once you arrived at Hellfire, much to his surprise. He'd put on quite a show for you that night, his eyes flickering over to you frequently as you listened intently to his stories, the DM telling the cult of Vecna campaign so eloquently that you had been mesmerised by his performance the entire night.

You were never an official member of Hellfire, instead choosing to observe and assist rather than play. Sure you had a few Hellfire shirts gifted by Eddie, some you even used to sleep in that been printed with faults and some practice prototypes on different shirt silhouettes and you'd devised campaigns and character sheet with him occasionally but you never actually joined in the campaigns unless you were acting as an emergency sub. Eddie liked to call you his glamorous assistant, likening you to a magician's right hand lady but you always opposed this, stating you were more like the dungeon master's puppet, pulled by strings for his own means.

With your mom gone, you two had hung out at your place after Eddie had driven you home from Hellfire. You'd ordered a pizza and watched an old horror movie that Eddie loved, hoping that it would make it up to him.

Everything was going well until the following Tuesday came around.

Tuesday: the weekly ritual of Corroded Coffin's scheduled gig at the Hideout, 8pm til 10:30pm, never to be missed. You'd missed the previous week and you knew that you couldn't miss this one, after seeing how hurt Eddie had been, not to mention the offhanded comments from the rest of Corroded coffin at the lunch table. You thought your plan of ditching Phys-Ed Tuesday afternoon and having Steve pick you up around the corner from the school would be flawless; you'd even gone as far as timing your departure with his shift finishing at family video so it would look like a coincidental meet on Cherry, near the church plaza as no one would think twice about him seeing you across the parking lot from the video store and offering you a ride home. Eddie usually skipped that class anyway and had a few deals scheduled in during his self made free period, so he would be conducting business at the bench in the woods, far out of sight of the entire school, and more importantly, your exit route.

All had gone to plan right up until you checked the clock hours later and saw that it was 7:45pm and you were going to be late to the show.

"Shit!" You cried out, throwing down your stuff and quickly reaching for your backpack stuffed on the side of the sofa. You frantically dug through your bag to fish out the handmade corroded coffin shirt that you'd stuffed in there earlier today and quickly threw it on over your bra, which you had stripped down to earlier that evening so avoid getting your shirt dirty.

Steve, who lay on the floor beside you only moments ago looked on with a shocked expression, confusion littering his features as he watched you dress.

"Can you give me a ride to the hideout?" You asked quickly, running to the bathroom to quickly fix your hair and makeup, checking that nothing had smudged.

"Uh yeah, sure," he says, throwing on his shirt from earlier, grimacing as he slips the button up over his sweaty body. He runs a hand through his hair, attempting to smooth it out as he watches you flutter around in a rush.

You appear a moment later, quickly shoving things into your backpack, careful to avoid any liquids from spilling as you try to straighten up Joyce's living room. You all but run out of the door only to exclaim profanities again as you realise you forgot your borrowed keys, knowing that they'd probably been thrown to the bottom of your bag in your haste.

"Relax, I've got it," Steve says, twisting the key in the door that Joyce had graciously had made for both of you for times exactly like this.

"Thanks," you said gratefully, trying to calm yourself but it was a pointless endeavour. Your heart was pounding as you entered the car, eyes never leaving the little digital clock that seemed to taunt you the entire journey. You were thankful that Steve never commented on your frantic demeanour, nor the reason behind it and even more thankful that he'd chosen to drive quickly, just barely on the right side of the law.

You're luck has officially ran out.

With minutes to spare, Steve pulled up to the Hideout and into the parking lot, only to be right in the line of sight of Eddie's van, and more importantly, Gareth. He peered over in curiosity, leaning against the van as he smoked a cigarette, his usual ritual just before they took the stage. He seemed to say something to himself briefly only to be joined by Jeff a moment later, who had jumped out of the van clutching his guitar. You could see their lips moving, both of them looking directly at you, no doubt running their mouths about the curious sight of you in the car with Steve Harrington. You sighed, defeated, knowing that they would never let you live this down and your stomach dropped an inch further with the realisation that there was no was in hell they wouldn't tell Eddie.

"Thanks Steve, I'm really sorry about this," you mumbled, not really knowing what exactly you were apologising for but feeling a level of embarrassment at your actions. You begin to open the car door and grab hold of your bag until he replies, keeping you sat inside the car for a moment longer.

"Hey don't worry about it," he says, running a hand through his hair. "Want me to walk you out?" He asks, his eyes peering into yours as he tries to offer support. 

"No that's okay, I-" you begin to say, only to be cut off by an obnoxious shout.

"Harrington!" Jeff calls out, acknowledging the man in the car as both his and Gareth walk towards you, each with curiously smug smiles on their faces.

"H-hey guys," Steve stammers slightly as he greets them, stepping out of the car as he gives them a small restrained wave with his right hand, whilst holding on to the door.

"Y/n, didn't think we'd be seeing you tonight," Gareth says curiously, his words holding an air of suspicion which made you nervous.

"Well I'm here," you shrug, trying to downplay your panic, "just like always."

"Except last week," Jeff adds quickly, immediately grimacing as he shoots you a remorseful look at his quipped tone.

"So Harrington, what?" Gareth begins to ask, only to be cut off by a figure moving out from the back door.

"Guys what the hell, we're on in- oh." Eddie says as he thrusts his way out of the back door, immediately coming to realise what he was seeing. His face drops instantly, a harsh glare forming in his eyes as he looks between you and Steve, each of you clearly having just exited the car together.

"Harrington," Eddie nods once, clipped and unpleasant as he stares at you, trying to understand why you would be in the car with Steve.

"Munson," Steve replies, though his tone is lighter and more polite as he nods back to the man who still appears shell shocked.  There's a tense silence that washes over us all for a few moments, with both Gareth and Jeff shooting glances at Eddie who's face seems thunderous.

"I should get going," Steve suddenly says, turning to face you with a look in his eyes that shows his discomfort.

"Yeah totally, thanks for the ride," you reply, trying to keep it short and sweet, not wanting to disclose any information to the 3 boys stood watching your every move. Steve smiles in return and ducks his head back into the car as you walk away from the passenger side, over to where the boys are stood.

"What, no kiss?" Eddie says venomously as he watches Steve drive away. You immediately frown at his words and sudden bad mood, trying not to let his words affect you.

"Yeah because I kiss every guy who offers me a lift when I'm too broke to get my car fixed," you sarcastically reply, hoping to deflect away the insinuation.

"I could have given you a ride," he says, eyes still fixed on the car as it drives away onto the north Highway, back into town. "If you'd been around lately."

He then walks off, not once turning to look back at you. The guys wordlessly follow him, knowing it's time to go on stage, but not before shooting you sorrowful looks of apology, neither of them realising that Eddie would be so wound up.

You follow them through the back door and instantly turn left instead of following them right towards the stage area. You stalk over to the bar, Eddie's bad mood clearly rubbing off on you as you throw yourself onto a high bar stool and order a double vodka and coke, hoping to ease some of the tension in your body with alcohol. The hideout was notorious for forgetting to check ID, and you used that little fact to your satisfaction tonight. The night didn't really improve at all, except that you'd had enough vodka in your system to numb the ache ever so slightly, freeing you from the overwhelming discomfort of conflicting emotions brought on by Eddie's venom. Their set was good but not great like usual, no doubt on account of Eddie's tenseness and vile mood which prevented him from playing as well as usual, his entire body seeming tense as he avoided all eye contact with you throughout the show.

You were in two minds to stick around after the show, not knowing if Eddie would offer you a ride like normal or whether you'd have to hitch a ride home some other way. Walking would be too dangerous and frankly too far to walk, given your alcohol consumption and overbearing weariness, plus calling Steve seemed like a really bad idea, like adding fuel to any already burning fire. You could call your mom but you knew she'd smell the alcohol on you straight away and you'd be lectured until the end of eternity. Maybe Jonathan would come for you ?

When you walked up to the guys after their set, offering to help load the van just like normal, Eddie virtually ignored you and instead hoisted the heavy equipment by himself. Gareth and Jeff had tried to make small talk, trying to diffuse the tension and Richard, the bass player, had looked on in complete confusion at the tense exchange.

"Gareth can you take her home? Got some shit to do," Eddie states blankly, nodding his head towards you, never once allowing his eyes to drift in your direction. He couldn't even use my name. Had seeing me with Harrington really hurt him that badly?

"Uh yeah sure man," Gareth replies, looking at me with what can only be described as pure pity. Eddie doesn't wait around for anything other than a confirmation before he climbs into the van and drives away like a maniac, leaving all of us standing out in the cold.

It's quiet for a few moments, no one really knowing what to say. Do they comment on it or do they avoid the elephant in the room entirely? Either way, you weren't waiting around to find out.

"Y/n, you can-," Gareth begins to say, gesturing towards his car parked a few spaces away.

"Thanks Gareth but it's cool, I'll just call Jonathan, he owes me one," you shrug, trying to downplay the hurt you were feeling, embarrassed that you were left to be a burden on the other members.

Gareth tries to protest but you wave your hand dismissing him, silencing him in the nicest way you could as you begin to feel the tears prickling at the corner of your eyes, willing them to disappear.

"I'll see you guys tomorrow, great show," you manage to say before walking back inside the hideout, tears making their way down your face as you can finally hide away from their view. You walk to the pay phone and freeze, thinking of your limited options before dialling an all too familiar number.

"Hello?" The voice answers, sounding sleepy as if you'd probably just woke him up. You check the clock on the way behind you and fight back a sigh, not realising the time.

"I'm sorry, I've just woken you up haven't I," you said sympathetically, feeling guilty of the fact.

"It's fine, honestly, Y/n, you okay?" He asks quickly, sounding concerned. You can hear a faint rustle in the background and you can envision him sitting up in bed, covers falling at his waist as he runs his spare hand through his hair.

You sigh, willing the tears to go away as you fight to take a shaky breath, not really knowing how to answer.

"I- no not really," you fight to get it out, lip wobbling slightly in your pathetic state. "Could you pick me up? I'm alone and I didn't know who else to call, I'm really sorry Steve," you all but whimper, babbling.

"He left you?" Steve sounds outraged, immediately knowing that something must have happened between Eddie and yourself.

"Kind of, he took off," you said, sounding small, not really wanting to go into detail.

"Stay right where you are, I'm on my way. Don't let anyone talk to you or give you a drink or anything okay? I'm coming." He immediately goes into protective dad Steve mode as you hear him bolting around his room for clothes.

"Thank you, so much," you say pathetically.

"I'll be right there Y/n okay, stay safe, I'm coming."

Steve hangs up the phone and you sink down into yourself on the little phone booth, feeling utterly broken and pathetic. The vodka in your system had all but dried up, the actions of tonight sobering you up quickly as you were left alone to deal with the consequences of your actions.

Steve arrived in 7 minutes, which you were sure must have been some sort of record. He immediately burst out of the car after throwing it into park and enveloped you in a tight hug as you cried once again. He pulled back and ran his eyes over you, checking for any signs of you being hurt but then gave you a sad smile when he realised you were only hurting on the inside.

"Come on," he says gently, pulling at your hand as he leads you back to the car, opening the door for you. "Milkshakes make everything better." He gives you a warm smile and closes the door, before walking quickly to his side and climbing in.

"Steve you really don't have to, I already feel bad enough that you had to come get me," you protest but he shushes you quickly, a serious look falling across his face.

"I'm glad you called me, you should have never been left alone."

"He dumped me on Gareth but I knew he didn't want to get involved or really drop me home so I didn't know what else to do," you confessed.

"He should have taken you home, mad or not. You made the effort to be here, he should see that."

The two of you talked in the car for a little while longer, with Steve being the ideal shoulder to cry on, both figuratively and literally and by the end of the night you did feel better.

"I just don't know why he was so angry," you said honestly, finishing the last of the milkshake he'd bought you from Benny's.

"You really don't see it?" Steve replies, giving you a sad smile.

"See what?" You ask naively, unsure of what hr was talking about.

"He's jealous. He probably thinks we are together and that you hid it from him. Not because he thinks he's being replaced as your friend but because he thinks someone else swooped in and took a shot before he could."

"That's... crazy. Eddie doesn't have any intention of 'taking a shot' with me, believe me," you say quickly, feeling as if you'd disclosed too much already.

"So you want him to?" Steve asks curiously, though his question isn't laced with sarcastic undertones or any hint of teasing.

"Yes," you answer quickly and honestly, needing no time to think.

"He drives me crazy, he's so smart but so fucking stupid sometimes. When it started we were just friends then all of a sudden one day I started noticing things about him, stuff I'd never thought of before. I noticed how often he'd look at me or reach out for me, always checking if I was there or if I was paying attention before he'd burst out into dramatics, smiling and laughing with me when it was over. Then the butterflies came each time he'd do something like that and I'd think wow what if he's feeling this too. A few times I was sure he was going to make a move, it all seemed so intimate at times, the looks and the gestures but then, nothing. He'd change the conversation or he'd look away and I'd be reeling thinking of why. I guess he just doesn't see me like I see him."

You couldn't help but babble your way through a monologue Shakespeare himself would be proud of, hardly even pausing for breath as you reeled off your thoughts and emotions into Steve's listening ears.

"I think he does," Steve says calmly after a few moments of quiet. You look at him with sad eyes and he offers a little smile. "You're beautiful, funny, caring, he'd be absolutely blind or crazy if he didn't realise that." You blush at Steve's words, wanting to hide your shy smile but you persist. "I can promise you that the only reason guys aren't lining up at your door is because Eddie has either scared them off or they already think you're a couple. Hell, I'd have shot my shot at you if it weren't so apparent that you were inseparable with him, well, that and your horrible taste in music," Steve jokes.

"Hey! Judas Priest are metal gods and you can't deny that! But thank you Steve," You laugh, along with Steve who's expression had warmed.

"You'll get through this, you and Eddie. You just have to give him some time to come around."

So that's exactly what you did. Problem was, that wasn't what Eddie was doing, he was giving you both space and time.

[skzloversblogsposts]

WE’RE NOT FRIENDS [l.f][F][A]

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summary : making friends in uni is hard , falling for your best friend is probably not the best idea but it’s even harder not to

content: swearing / mentions of sex/ gossipracha / Han is lonely / friends to lovers situation / mentions of ot8 /MENTIONS OF SUBSTANCE ABUSE 🍃

An: it’s actually really long- I am so sorry 😦

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You sighed the library was quiet as you sat at the table surrounded by a cascade of books and files enveloping you in a blanket of their knowledge, the air was still people had left hours ago ,to go and fill their social batteries however they could , drinking, clubbing , restaurant dates you name it uni felt like one big social party and you weren’t invited . So this is how you spent your Friday evening cooped up in the library finishing assignments while the librarian shot you pitiful glances “are you going to be here long? Don’t you have any plans ?” She asked rather sarcastically , she knew you had no plans - you’ve been coming here every night for the past year ,maybe she thought things would change “ unfortunately not “ you said slumping down against the desk closer to your textbook .

You tried to block out her commentary when a plastic container filled with baked treats was slide across the table your way it’s warmth misted up the sides of the container indicating it was fresh , looking up from your textbook your eyes were met by another , he smiled at you his brown eyes never shunning away from yours .

“Have one “ he said motioning towards the baked goods” they’re uh- normal brownies you know not the special kind I usually only make those for three of my other friends , they’re great guys …loud but great nonetheless “ he said sitting down next to you , you nodded at his words trying to take in as much of him as possible without seeming rude . “I’m Felix just in case you were wondering “ he said placing the container filled with the baked treat closer to you ushering you to have some more “ do you like them ?” He asked smiling sweetly at you “ are they good?” He pressed barely giving you time to form a sentence as you roughly tried to swallow he huge bite you took minutes ago , he laughed lightly at you administrations “ they’re really good “ you said smiling as you bit into the brownie “my friends having a small get together tonight ..I know we just met but do you want to go with me ?” He asked inching closer to you “oh- actually get togethers aren’t really my thi-“ Felix interrupted you “please don’t say no …it’ll be fun” he said pouting at you .

You should have said no but something in you gave in ,maybe it was the way Felix’s lip jutted out as he gave you the biggest puppy dog eyes ever , or the pang of loneliness you felt in your tummy or the looks from the librarian who clearly wanted to leave early today whichever you were here on the other end of campus far away from the library and what was supposed to be a small get together but now looked like a massive house party “you said small…” your voice trailed off looking at the people all around . Felix looked at you confused “ this is small?” He tilted his head looking at you “come on let’s go I’ll introduce you to everyone you’ll fit right in “ he said enthusiastically while grabbing your arm leading you into the party . The house was stuffy , hot and barely bright enough , the loud sounds of music overtook your hearing as Felix pulled you up to the dj booth “ this is Chris , jisung and changbin “ he said pushing you infront of him to greet his friends they smiled at you expectantly waiting for Felix to say your name “ and this is…” Chris trailed off looking and Felix “ oh-“ he said looking at you for help

“Uhm this is ..” “ y/n” you said smiling at him “ right yn ..I forgot to ask “ he flushed slightly “a pretty name for a very pretty lady” jisung chimed in Felix shot him a glare “don’t mind him he’s just trying to get his dick wet” Chris spoke “in his dreams” changbin retorted “I sleep right next to him I’d honestly prefer if he didn’t “ Chris spoke up causing the other male to laugh with him . Jisung pouted “you guys are so embarrassing “ he said looking away from them “so how do you know Felix? “ changbin started “ I met him at the library like an hour ago” you smiled “whoa… lucky you he never brings any of his friends around here …he thinks we’re too loud and that we’ll scare them away “ jisung adds “IM NOT THAT LOUD “ changbin screams as Felix pulls you away from them opting to save your hearing.

“Your friends seem nice “ you spoke” yea wait till you meet the other guys though you’ll love them “ Felix flashed you a smile pulling you along to the kitchen where you witnessed two men hunched over the counter intensely staring at each other their eyes red and coated in a watery sheen . Felix slapped the one on the back “ stop having staring competitions in my kitchen it makes you look weird “ he spoke laughing at their anitics” this is seungmin and this is jeongin “ you smiles greeting the boys “ new friend ?“ jeogin wiggled his eyes brows at his friend suggestively “ control your teenage boy hormones please"

The slightly older one replied smacking the other across his head “ jeongins just a late bloomer so he can’t help thing about things like that “ seungmin cooed at the younger who shot him a glare “ I swear to god seungmin if you don’t stop with that late bloomer joke I’m going to tell everyone about your hentai obsession “ jeogin spoke immediately covering his mouth as the older flushed “ I’m going to fucking kill you “ seungmin said chasing the other out of the kitchen and in to the rest of the party “don’t worry they’re always like that” he said noticing your worried expression “ they’ll fuck around and get over it “ he laughed taking your hand in his pulling you up the staircase “where are we going ..? “ you asked walking up the stairs as fast as you could trying to keep up with Felix but failing and stumbling a bit “ Minho and hyunjin don’t really do the whole party thing but they do get high so we’re going to the balcony “ he beamed at you .

The balcony offered new freshness to you the cold air was a stark contrast to the warmth from inside you looked around taking in the pots of plants proudly displayed in the corner , you wrapped your arms around yourself shivering .” Cold?” Felix asked taking his jacket off and handing it to you “ oh you don’t have to..” you tried to protest before it was slung around you enveloping you in its warmth “ thank you lix …” Felix's eyes widened at the nickname his cheeks tinted a light pink and cracked into a smile “ yah Felix close the door , I’m not paying for the heating for you to leave it fucking open” an older man shouted from across the balcony Felix grumbled closing the door “ that’s Minho “ he pulled you along with him to them” this is my friend yn “ he said pushing you infront of him “ that’s hyunjin and that’s Minho . “Friend …” hyunjin quirked pointing towards the jacket You were wearing “ since when do you make friends “ Minho chirped in Felix shot them a warning look “since today “ he said through gritted teeth “ well you’re very pretty , you should come by my studio some time let me paint you , it would be fun” hyunjin smiled at you standing up to offer you his seat “ no no don’t worry I’m fine standing “ you replied “ nonsense here come sit next to me “ hyunjin said pulling you down next to him ,you looked up at him practically draped over his lap while he smirked down at you “ right now we can both be comforble “ he said , your cheeks felt like they were on fire and your mouth felt insanely dry as he tucked a piece of hair behind your ear smirking down at you , but what you didn’t notice was the way Felix stood , frozen his fists balled up and his brows furrowed at the boys advances

And like that Felix's friend group took you in. Becoming the ninth member of what you would like to call their situationship, inviting you out to lunch runs with hyunjin in which he would spill all the latest gossip , breakfast dates with seungmin which he would rave about the latest coffee he had tried , parties with chris ,jisug and changbin in which they'd preform their new songs , bowling on Saturdays and game night became a regular thing and you loved it, it felt like you had a place to be you . Friday nights that were once spent in the library alone were replaced by movie nights with the boys cooped up in their lounge as you watched some old romcom that hyunjin picked for the week claiming he was educating all all of you it was great and it went on for a while

Today was the last day before winter break and according to Chris he was gonna host a small get together just to say goodbye before the break , anyone who knows Chris knows that it wasn’t small at all which is exactly why you were having a three way call with hyunjin , seungmin and jeongin “ guys you’re not helping” you spoke into the phone standing infront of your closet “ what am I supposed to wear “ you groaned seungmin cackling on the other end “ you’ve never ever cared about what you wore before so why is it a big deal now “ he asked laughing at your misery

“ because I’m just I don’t know .. I just plan on doing something tonight “ you said “getting laid? “ hyunjin asked “ Han has a whole plan set out to make sure he gets some tonight I can ask him to count you in-“. “No.” You said a disgusted look on your face “it’s not about sex “ you said “ wait ..” jeongin started “ are you going to tell Felix you like him” he squealed , hyunjin gasped and seungmin flat out went silent “ YOU ARE ARENT YOU” seungmin shouted out “omg omg omg” hyunjin started” my little yn is growing up” he sniffled “ I’m so proud”

“I might not end up doing it “ you said bringing everyone back to reality “ I mean lix and I are friends I doubt he even likes me like that” “ don’t he fucking ridiculous “ seungmin spat “ he clearly can’t shut up about you and brings you everywhere “ he said “ yea no seungmins right , he’s what’s that thing they said hyunjin” jeongin asked “ head over heeels …agh you would think an entire year of romance movies would prepare you for this uncultured pigs I swear"

You weren’t sure .. about what the boys told you it did make sense you and Felix practically spent every moment together so it would be awkward if you misinterpreted the entire thing . Lugging your way across campus you arrived at the boys place , it was packed one thing about Chris is he says he’s throwing a party... he’s throwing a party . You smiled greeting the people you knew before heading inside , as per usual Chris , changbin and jisung were in charge of the music , it kind of became their knack after their parents forced them to study something so they could get “ real jobs”

Chris smiles at you bringing you you in the platform before giving you a quick hug “ yn you’re here !” He said excitedly before jisung wrapped his arms around you squeezing you and shaking you around in the process “ guess what “ he began “I came up with a whole plan to-“ “ hyun told me already “ you sighed looking at his deflated expression “ you just gotta be yourself.. “ you said before changbin chimmed in “ stop looking for one time hook ups when we all know you just want a girlfriend can you not follow your own principles ? “ you giggled .Walking around to the older man who draped his arm around your waist pulling you in for a side hug “ so todays the day? “ he asked looking at your face for any hesitation “what- who -“ you started “ no one- you just actually put effort into how you look so I figured it must be important” he said evidently checking you out

“Yea you actually don’t look homeless today” jisung said before getting shoved in the side by Chris”you look great good luck “ he said giving you a thumbs up as you walked away from them . The party was big , it was loud too there was barely room to walk about as you walked into the kitchen before a pair of arms wrapped around you pulling you into one of the corners “seungmin what the hell I was about to scream I thought you were going to kil- “ he placed his hand over your mouth “shhh, hiding from jeongin” he spoke in huffs his breath fanning against your face from the close proximity he now took on , seungmin looked you up and down , his eyes scanned all over your body “ lix will be mad not to say he likes you to” seungmin added before tilting your chin up to look into his eyes “ it’ll go great I promise “ he said gently cupping your face before pushing off of you and running in the opposite direction . You’ve been at the party for quite some time and you haven’t seen Felix . Usually he would be the first one there anticipating your arrival .. opening the balcony door remembering to shut it as fast as you could before Minho told you off you looked around he really wasn’t there at all “yn” you turned to see Minho calling you over “ I almost didn’t recognise you - you look -hot “ he said checking you out “ why is everyone making it seem like I never dress up-“ you grumbled “ you don’t.” Minho deadpanned “ I’ve known you for an entire year and you don’t “ he said stoic . Minho pulled you up to hyunjins studio which was located in the loft , you’ve been up here a thousand times watching hyunjin paint as you rambled about not knowing what to do with Felix , he always listened, occasionally accompanied by Minho who would add his comments here and there

“ sit “ hyunjin said , his face looked washed out , as he crouched down on the carpet infront of you taking your hands while Minho rested against the window looking outside at the party “ yn.. I’m so sorry yn” hyunjin began you looked down at him confused “ what’s wrong hyun why are you-“ Minho sighed “ just tell her she deserves to know” Minho spoke “ what- you guys are scaring me “ you laughed lightly “ it’s about Felix “ hyunjin started causing your face to drop” is he okay? Did something happen ? Oh no is he hurt” you asked searching hyunjins face for any signs of confirmation “ no but once I get my hands on him I swear-“ Minho said before he was interrupted by hyunjin clearing his throat” when the party started Felix had some chick wrapped around him that he took to his room “ hyunjin said slowly “ they haven’t come out-“ he started as he watched your face drop .

Felix wouldn’t do that , why would he , would he ? You questioned yourself as you ran down the stairs out of the loft and into the passage way making your way to his room , he liked you right? That’s what everyone said , you were so certain he did . He practically gave it away with the way he held your hand whenever you walked to class together , kissed your forehead whenever he hugged you , nuzzled into your neck whenever you were alone . It was obvious he did so what girl was hyunjin and Minho talking about

You knocked on Felix's door before turning the doorknob . Locked . The door was locked you stood back stunned you heart hurt it felt like all the air in your chest had been knocked out , the door knob twisted again and you hoped it would be Felix , and he’d tell you he wasn’t feeling well or he just drank to much to early something anything but your eyes trailed off the floor onto the bare legs of the woman infront of you , she ran her fingers through her hair as you watched her frame engulfed by Felix's shirt , she smiled at you “ who are you-“ she asked sarcastically before a pair of arms wrapped around her waist pulling her flush against a shirtless body . It was Felix ..he pressed a chaste kiss to her cheek mumbling into her neck” come back to bed” he spoke his low voice sounding even lower and he pushed against her . You scoffed , Felixes eyes shot open pushing the girl away from him “ Yn “ he said surprised “ I didn’t know you were coming tonight “ he said wiping the lipstick marks off of his neck and attempting to fix his hair . Your eyes took in his form , he wasn’t sick , wasn’t drunk and definitely wasn’t alone, your heart sank you barely managed to choke out any words before tears brimmed your eyes , before Felix could speak you turned around walking away , despondent to his calls and pleas as you walked out of the party

A week or two passed you hardly knew , you lost track of time replaying the scene from the night you saw Felix hooking up with another girl , you were hurt , angry even it felt like everything you knew was a lie , Felix didn’t like you ..he probably thought you were just friends and now thought you were absolutely insane for acting the way you did . You tried to keep to yourself as much as possible rarely taking calls , deciding not to go back home for the winterbreak and spending most of your time in your dorm, occasionally the boys would send you a “ you okay? “ text Minho asking if you ate offering to send you something delicious, changbin telling you to go out and get some air , jisung offering to give you his Netflix password , seungmin telling you to come out for coffee with him ,jeongin sending you cute selfies with captions like “feel better” or “ smile for me “ and Chris .. would occasionally pitch up at your door where you would act like you weren’t home , but nothing ever from Felix

Today was different Chris usually came and then left but today he stayed extra long causing an extra big scene “ yn I know you’re home open the fucking door” he whined” you can’t stay In here for forever rotting “ he said knocking now growing louder you lugged yourself off of your bed and to the door opening it Chris’s gaze softened. He took in your appearance, worn out band tshirt, messy hair and bags darker than his coated your eyes. He grabbed you pulling you in for a hug “ you look like a fucking mess” he said holding your head agaisnt his chest

Chris spent the rest of the day in your dorm , cleaning , feeding and cuddling you back to health “ I know I’m not supposed to intervene “ he began while you were curled up head on his chest while you lounged on the couch “ Felix- “ he started causing you to duck your head into the covers” no yn listen to me “ you shook your head you didn’t want to hear about him, his name pained your heart

It felt like you were reliving the moment all over again everytime someone brought him up” Felix hasn’t really left his room either …I’ve been trying.. he hasn’t eaten much either Minho even attempted to break the door down when no one heard from him” he said causing your to peak your head up out from under the blanket and look at him “ I came here today to check on you like I’ve been doing for the past two weeks but yn please …” he started “ come by ..the boys miss you, I miss you , Felix does too “ he said stroking your hair

You meted into Chris’s touch leaning your head against him and sighing “ I thought he liked me “ you said watching as his eyes landed on your facing trying to read off your emotions “ maybe I was wrong” Chris sighed sitting up and putting on his shoes “ you’re leaving? “ you asked looking at him he nodded coming around the couch and picking you up throwing you over his shoulder “ we’re leaving”

People around the campus looked at the two of you like you were insane , you in your sleep shorts and tshirt and Chris in full winter padding as he carried your protesting from across the campus through the snow “ I’m cold” you said shivering against his form “ we’re almost there “ he said enthusiastically” I never even agreed to coming “ you started “ oh shush, stop being a big baby you’re going to have to see him at one point , I’m not taking care of everyone by myself you’re roped into this friend group you can't leave now “

Chris opened the door to their place tossing you on the couch before running to lock the door “ you can’t hold me hostage Chris-“ you began when Minho stuck his head out of the kitchen “ YN” he screamed running and laying on top of you” you’re freezing -“ he said taking his jacket off and throwing it on top of you. Hyunjin came running down the stairs taking in your form” you look like fucking shit” he said ruffling your hair “ jeongin, seungmin, yn is here” Chris said as changbin in walked through the front door squealing at you “ yn “ he said running to hold you . Seungmin and jeongin couldn’t believe their eyes “ why are you here “ jeongin asked looking at your worn out face and raggedy appearance seungmin sniffled “ yn” he said eyes slightly watery “ go home “ he said walking over and pulling you into a hug " i havent had good coffee in so long because of you"

You were ushered to Felix's door , minho knocking for you telling to you speak before rustling was heard from the other end , he stripped his jacket off of you before walking away . Felix opened the door he looked terrible , his eyes were red , sunken and looked as if he had been crying , his form seemed weaker as you watched him look at you with wide eyes “ you look like shit “ he mumbled sparking a laugh from you .felixes room felt warm as he tossed you a jacket and a pair of sweatpants “ it’s freezing why aren’t you dressed warm” he asked patting the spot on his bed next to him

“ i was kidnapped “ you admitted taking a seat next to him ,” they said you weren’t doing too good” you said looking over at him “ I’m not and clearly you aren’t “ he said trying to fix your messed up hair tucking it behind your ear “ I fucked up “ he began as silence over too the both of you” I fucked up and I’m sorry” he started looking into your eyes . " i should have told you i liked you when i first found out i did ,instead of assuming you didn't like me and try to patch that part of me closed " he spoke in a hushed tone his voice cracking every often "i didnt sleep with her infact i barely touched her ,we just made out and i took her clothes off , i felt so guilty ,so dirty like i was committing a crime so when you knocked on the door i assumed it was one of the guys, they knew i was trying to get over my crush on you they were worried i wouldn't so i had to act like it i didnt want to ruin our friendship"he said his head in his hands "i haven't slept since, i miss you , its like a part of me was missing i felt so hollow ,i know were friends yn but i dont want to be friends anymore" you fell quiet

" what do you mean you dont want to be friends " you spoke softly ,felix turned facing you gently cupping your face in his hands before pressing your lips to his " we're not friends we were never friends , it was always more than that and im an idiot for not noticing..please yn let me make you mine " he said grabbing your face squishing your cheeks together " make me yours .."

[noooooooop-e]

~My Songbird~

Chapter 4

As punishment for cheating in the games, Ana was forced to move to a random district.  She was told she would have to train as a peacekeeper if she ever wanted to be welcomed back to the capitol, however, she knew she could never go back to that life.  Regardless, she still had to leave.  She had bribed her way into being sent to District 12, hoping to find her song bird.

As she waited for the train to start, she anxiously started to play with her fingers.  She was excited and nervous at the same time.  She was broken out of her thoughts when someone called her name.

"Senjanus?!"  Ana's jaw dropped.  The man just chuckled in response.

"Yeah so as it turns out, the capitol doesn't love when you sneak into the arena to say goodbye to a friend, or when you throw chairs".  Ana giggled in response. 

"Well it's nice to have a familiar face with me on the journey", she smiled.

It was a long ride, to say the least.  Ana was grateful that she had Senjanus to talk to.  Their conversations made the trip much more bearable.

As time went on, Ana had fallen asleep.  She only had woken up when she heard the sounds of screeching.

The train had finally come to a stop.

Instantly, her face lit up.  She rose to her feet and quickly grabbed her duffle bag, grinning as she eagerly ran off the train.   She waited for Senjanus to catch up before they started to ask around for directions.  She also made sure to ask about any known information about Lucy Gray.

A couple hours went by, and Ana had found herself going in circles, finding that there was nothing truly helpful in finding Lucy.

That was until she heard someone singing.  The voice was unfamiliar, however the melody she had heard before. 

She turned around and her eyes lit up.  'That must be The Covey'.  She thought to herself.

She slowly walked up to the performers, who stopped in their tracks when they saw the woman.

They recognized the girl from the big screen at the reaping.  "Oh my!  You must be Ana!", a tall woman exclaimed, setting down her bass.  "I'm Barb Azure, Lucy Grays cousin.  Oh she's going to be so excited to see you!"

Ana gave her a wide smile as she was surrounded in a firm hug.  "Oh but it must be a surprise!  She's performing tonite' at the hob.  You should surprise her there!"

The blonde chuckled in response.  "Of course!  I'll need some directions though, I've been a lost cause all day", she explained.

A young girl ran up to her, suffocating her in a hug.  "Oh!  Lucy wouldn't stop talking about you!  I swear every day it's always "Ana this~ Ana that~ finally we can get some quiet now that you're here", she joked.  Barb rose a brow at her.

The girl looked at her, confused, before her eyes widened.  "Oh yeah!  How rude of me, forgot to introduce m'self.  I'm Maude Ivory!", she declared, holding her hand out theatrically for Ana to shake.

Ana smiled in response, introducing herself in return.  "Well, I should get going, gotta bring my A game if i'm going to be surprising her!"

Just as Ana was about to leave, Barb immediately cut her off.  "Wait a minute now!  Where are you staying?"

Ana stopped dead in her tracks.  'Oh shit, how did i not plan this out', she thought to herself.  She chuckled nervously.

"Right! Uh that's actually a great question!  I'm sure there is like an inn somewhere!"

Barb just gawked at her in response.

"This is district 12.  The closest thing we got to an inn would be under the broken down bridge.  You can stay with us.  The Covey would love to have you!  Lucy's out and about anyways!  She's performing at the elementary school."

Ana placed her hand on her heart, her eyes lighting up.  "Really?  I don't want to be a bother!". Barb nodded enthusiastically, assuring her that it would be in everyone's best interest.

Hesitantly, Ana accepted, albeit a bit nervous as she happens to be a people pleaser.  She thinks she's intruding on their personal lives.

Little does she know, The Covey is all about chosen family.

Five pm had finally come around, and Ana found herself getting ready in Barb's room.  Maude was helping her fix her hair while the older cousin picked out an outfit for her.

"Aw you look precious!  I can't wait till Lucy sees you!" Barb gushed.

Ana smiled as they began to walk over to the hob, her expression widening as Maude linked her arm around her own.  "You're pretty!  I'm so happy you and Lucy found each other."

"Aww, thank you!  I'm very happy too.  And it's even better knowing she has such an amazing family!"  She thanked Barb Azure as she held the door open for her.

She sat near the front, awaiting the performance.

Her breath hitched as Lucy Gray herself slowly made her way to the stage.  She did an elegant little twirl as she strode in effortlessly.  She took someone's flask and took a long lasting sip before setting it down.

It was around then when she started to play the familiar chords of "Nothing You Can Take From Me".  The song that originally brought her into the capitols heart.

As she continued singing, she locked eyes with Ana.  They widened and she paused for a moment, unable to comprehend the sight in front of her.   A shocked expression quickly turned into an ecstatic one as she resumed her song, not breaking eye contact once.

As the last notes of the song played, the hob erupted in applause, with Ana rising to her feet to join in the standing ovation.  Her head turned to the right as she saw a sprinting Lucy Gray make her way to the girl.

She yelped before giggling as Lucy practically jumped into her arms.

"Oh my god!  What are you doing here?!" Lucy asked, her voice shaking with shock and pure happiness. 

Before responding, Ana eagerly connected their lips, earning a sigh.  Once they released, Lucy buried her head in the crook of Ana's neck.  She shut her eyes as happy tears fell.

Ana smiled affectionately, her hold of the girl not faltering.  "I was sent away for cheating.  They said i'd have to train as a peacekeeper if i ever wanted to go back which- fuck that.  I'll stay here forever then.  Had to bribe the lady into letting me go here", she rushed out. 

Lucy let her drop her back to her feet, her arms still around her neck as she rose to her tips.  She rested their foreheads together.

"All that... for me?" She asked, surprised.  She hugged the woman, now full on crying.  She had missed her so much, and the fact that Ana risked her life and her status for her meant everything.

"Of course, my love.  I want to be with you.  And now we are finally free to be together.  I want to spend my life with you, I don't care where that life is, as long as it's with you".  Ana had to blink away a few of her own tears while saying this. 

"Oh~ I love you so much," Lucy cried.  "I never want to be separated from you again."

Ana placed her hands around the girls waist, smiling down at her.  "And we never will be.  I love you too.  We will never have to leave each other.  I'll always find my way back to you". 

Lucy grinned back up at her.  "And I to you," she whispered before connecting their lips again.

@womenrhot889801 is my main, got hacked. If you want to read the first chapters go to this account please, i’ll probably republish them in the future.

[lakes-writting-rambles]

#1-1 mlb x sdr2 crossover

words: 3425

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( Nagito pov )

'Hajime Hinata... it's a pretty name. And weirdly fits into the class, no one has a particularly "french name" huh..-' 

"Pleasure to meet you, Hajime" I offer my hand, he takes it, shakes it and soon after lets go. 

'I should probably stay away from him, he deserves a chance to fit in with the class, everyone hates me and will probably hate him by association.'

"Now, Hajime, how did you convince your parents to transfer here?" Chiaki says - I can't tell if she's excited, mad or curious, maybe a mix...? 

"Well, it did take some time but my main "argument" was that you were here and you could help me study or something similar." he says in a pretty normal tone, then he sighs and starts sounding sad/disappointed. "I guess they also let me come here so I could have "fEmInInE fRiEnDsHiPs" that could help "fix" me..." 

'what does he mean by that...?'

"I swear I'll punch them if they say shit like this again."

'woah, don't think i've ever seen Chiaki cuss before'

"At least they didn't..." Hajime pauses. He's confused for a second, then he looks at me "ah, nevermind ... I forgot you were here... sorry..." 

'... I got in the way of their conversation. I only bother people, I should apologize for staring, my lowly self is in no place to get involved with them.'

"Ah, no, don't apologize. I was probably intruding. You can continue, I'll mind my own business. Trash like me shouldn't overhear anything, my deepest apologies."

( Hajime pov ) 

"You're not trash... you seem nice just - this is just an awkward topic to talk about in front of someone i just met" i say trying not to sound rude.

'he'd probably hate me if he knew anyway, i'll talk to Chiaki during lunch break...' 

"It's okay, I get it, it seems personal." 

As Nagito says that 2 more people walk in, a short blond and a pink haired person. 16 people now, me included. Every site is taken.

Chiaki looks at the people who just arrived.

"Well talk about it during lunch, but Hajime you don't have to worry, no one here would judge." 

'is Chiaki serious? Last time I told someone I was trans it spread around and I was left behind even by my closest friend. I don't want to risk it so soon'

"Chiaki i told you what happened last time, i'm not sure if it's a good idea-"

"I swear, it's fine Hajime, there are other-"

"Chiaki, new student, sorry to interrupt, but you can talk during lunch" the redhead teacher says, she's nice. Nicer than my previous teachers at least. "Now, new student, do you mind coming here for a second? It'd be nice if you could introduce yourself to the rest of the class."

I follow her to the front of the classroom. Everyone's eyes are on me. 

"So, what's your name? And do you mind sharing your pronouns?"

'This is it, if I pass well enough there won't be any scandalous reactions... if i don't... let's not think about it...'

"Ah... okay. My name's Hajime Hinata, he/him... nice to meet you" My heart almost pops out of my chest as i wait for their reaction. 

"Nice to meet you Hajime" a girl with hair as red as a tomato says. A few other people join in. Saying things like "is your hair like that normally or did you do it on purpose?" or "You're probably as much of a lost case as pig barf" and "Woah you were talking to Chiaki, are you guys dating?".

'they're nice enough - anything is better than my old classmates i guess' 

"..." - Chiaki looks uncomfortable, maybe she feels bad for me? - "Guys let him breathe"

"Right-! Ibuki is sorry!"

"I don't really mind, I just think this is interrupting class, isn't it ... miss...?" I look at the teacher trying to figure out her name.

"Miss Bustier, and don't worry, first period can be used for you to start getting to know each other."

"Oh, if it's okay then..-"

Then, one person in the middle row gets up and extends their hand. 

"Byakuya Togami, they/them." - I grab their hand and shake it, their grasp is quite firm. 

"Pleasure to meet you."

"Me and Chiaki were class representatives last year, so it still feels like a duty to talk to new students."

"I see, well, thank you anyway."

'They/them huh... i guess Chiaki was right, i mean she normally is but, i don't know how the others feel about it and ... yeah, i'll just wait.'

We drop the handshake and they go back to their seats, next to the energetic person from earlier, who called themselves "Ibuki". 

'Should i go around introducing myself or...?'  - Chiaki notices me just standing there like an idiot and approaches.

"You know they don't bite, right?"

"Yeah, I'm just a bit nervous, that's all."

"Fair enough, I can go with you if you'd like." - She smiles softly.

"Sure"

She takes my hand and drags me to the person with pink hair seated next to Nagito.

"Hey man, I'm Kazuichi Soda, he/him." - the boy says with a grin - "don't flirt with Miss Sonia! I already have my eyes on her!" 

"Oh ... sure-"

"He's obsessed with Sonia and likes to play mechanic" Chiaki gives a short explanation. 

"Hey! I don't PLAY mechanic, i AM a mechanic!" Kazuichi complains. 

Chiaki is already taking me to the second table where we found a short blond person from earlier and a gray haired one with braids who I hadn't paid attention to. The blond was sitting on the corridor seat and the one with braided hair was near the window. 

"Hey, the name's Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu, he/him" The blond says. 

"...Wait - Kuzuryuu-?" - 'Is he Natsumi's brother..?'  - "This might seem random, but do you have a sister?"

"Huh? I do, why does that matter?"

"Ah, nothing, I just used to study with your sister, we're friends, though, I don’t think she’d admit it."

"Weird, my sister never mentioned any one named Hajime, but she did mention -" He stops for a bit, thinks and lets out an "oh- wow i didn’t recognize you at all-”.

'i'm so fucking stupid - i can't keep my mouth shut even if my life depended on it.'

Trying to change the focus of the conversation I look at the one with braided hair.

"Peko Pekoyama, she/they." She responds, noticing I'm staring.

"Oh, nice meeting you guys, hope we can have a good school year" we walk away - 'i don't talk like that what the hell- Chiaki is gonna make fun of me in 3... 2... 1...'  

"What was that? You never talk like that" - Chiaki says chuckling.

"Haha, very funny. I was nervous - can you blame me?"

"Fair enough I guess..." She yawns and takes me to the next row, where I see another blond and a... person with hamsters-? Why do they have hamsters-?

The blond is the first to speak up. 

"Hello, I am Sonia Nevermind, she/her. And as the princess of Novoselic I must welcome you with all my might! I hope you feel comfortable here in our class!" 

Then the person with hamsters speaks up.

"Peasant! You shall feel welcomed here! For I, the great demon Gundham Tanaka, he/they, welcome you to the highest ranking class!" - 'I don't know what i was expecting but this wasn't it.'

"Thanks...!" I try smiling but this is awkward, luckily, Chiaki pulls me away before i could fuck up.

Next row, we're back to "our side" of the classroom. A Person with messy looking purple hair and someone with brown curly hair and a darker skin tone sit chatting.

"Hey hey, Mikan, Akane.." she uses her head to point at me. I don't know which is which, so I just awkwardly wave and whisper a "hi".

"O-oh hello Hajime, I-i'm Mikan Tsumiki, she/they." The one with messy hair says. 

"And I'm Akane Owari, she/her, nice to meetcha!" The one with curly hair says shortly after.

"Sorry girls, we only have a few more minutes and 5 more people to talk to, I'm sure he'd love to talk to you later though." - 'she sounds a bit mad, i guess she's mad about my parents only letting me come because it could maybe make me "go back", like hell that's happening...'

We turn around and I see "Ibuki" and the previous class rep.

"Oh oh! Hey Hajime! Ibuki's name is Ibuki! She's a She/Her but doesn't mind any other pronouns! Nice to meet you!"

"This is Ibuki Mioda, she really likes writing and playing songs. Though they don't really match her personality ... which, I guess would be the best fit..." Chiaki looks lost in thought, I should probably talk to them before going to the next rows.

Byakuya just gives me a nod.

"Nice meeting you both"

"Ibuki is glad she finally met Hajime! Chiaki talks about you a lot!" - I turn to look at Chiaki, she doesn't seem embarrassed, and looks like she's still thinking about Ibuki's song writing.

'Doesn't seem like she told them anything weird...'

"Wait, really-? ...Anyway we should get going for now, but we can talk more during lunch" I grab Chiaki's hand and slightly pull her to the seats by the back of the class, she snaps out of her thoughts and yawns. 

"I didn't say anything weird if you're wondering" 

"Yeah, i guessed it" 

We take a few steps in silence. When we get to the table, yet ANOTHER blond is there, alongside the tomato-like short haired one from earlier.

"Sorry about earlier, i'm Mahiru Koizumi, she/her." The redhead says with a comforting smile on her face.

'She has freckles, that's pretty.'

Then I turn to the blond, who seems to be irritated.

'Why do all blonds have such strong personalities-?'

"Soooo.... Chiaki, are you dating him? He looks like a creep, I bet he takes advantage of you while you sleep." - ' ... is she serious-?!'  - I look at Chiaki, who yawns.

"Hiyoko, I'm not dating Hajime, and he'd never do that."

"Seriously Hiyoko? Already pestering the new student?"

She starts tearing up and sniffling.

"... Whaaaaaaa!! Don't get mad at me..! I was only worried for Chiaki!" She continues crying. - 'God - where did she get that lung capacity - this is so loud-' 

No one in class seems to mind, seems like this is a common occurrence ... I'm not looking forward to that.

"..."

"It's okay, Hiyoko, just stop messing with him."

"Are you sure big sis Mahiru..?" - Mahiru looks at me and I reluctantly nod.

"Yeah, Hajime says it's fine."

In the blink of an eye her expression changes and she giggles. 

"I can't believe you fell for those fake tears, you're all such pushovers pfft."

Chiaki pouts and drags me to the final desk. There I see a tall muscly masc presenting a person with blue hair, not like that's their major feature tho - seriously how did they gain so much muscle mass? By their side, I see a short chubby person, they have brown hair and some sort of sidecut.

"I am NEKOMARU NIDAI! Mostly use he/him pronouns but I'm fine with anything. Please also introduce yourself loud and clear!!" - the muscly guy says.

"ah- i'm Hajime Hianta, he/him, pleasure to meet you"

"You look a bit scrawny, how much do you eat daily? Do you sleep well? What does your shit look like?"

"Wha-"

"Nekomaru... i think you're scaring Hajime '' - Chiaki says, yawning once again.

'Did she even sleep yesterday-?'

"Shit man- sorry, just want to make sure my classmates are in top shape!"

"I-it's okay"

"Aham, bonjour, monsieur Hajime" - the short person says. - "I hate to interrupt your conversation, but I'd like to introduce myself."

"Oh, i'm sorry-"

"I don't mind, my name's Teruteru Hanamura, he/him pronouns, but don't mind they/them. I'd like to get to know ya, clothes are optional~"

"Uhh- pleasure to meet you, i'll be keeping my clothes, thanks."

"What a shame"

"..." - 'well... this class… eccentric- to say the least' - "Uhh...- I think I heard from Chiaki that you cook? Do you have any favorite type of cooking?"

"Not really, why limit my possibilities? I cook a bit of everything'"

"Yeah! Teruteru is a great cook! His cooking is very nutricional too." - Nekomaru chimes in.

"I think you mean "chef". But, monsieur, If you'd like, I could bring you some of my cooking."

"Wouldn't it be too bothersome?"

"Nonsense! Why would I cook if not to satisfy people? I'd be throwing my hard work away if I didn't get my classmate to taste it. Either way, I intended on bringing food for everyone tomorrow."

"If you say so-" 

The bell rings. I turn around to see Miss Bustier, she leans on her desk and puts her clipboard. - "Class! Sit down please! You can chat with Hajime during break, let's focus on class for now, alright?"

"Such a shame, see you later, mon ami." - Teruteru says, grabbing his tablet.

I feel Chiaki pull on my sleeve.

"Hey hey, let's go" - she takes me back to our seats, I see Nagito looking at us.

I hadn't noticed this before, but his expression is almost unreadable, even if he has a calming vibe, kind of unsettling.

"Hope your tour went well, Hajime." - Nagito smiles. That calming smile again, I can't help but smile back.

"Yeah, it went pretty great, this class is ... eccentric" - not sure if that was the right thing to say, but now it's done.

"I guess you're right, hah" 

Lunch break finally arrives and I'm starving. I grab my bag and check for my lunch.

"Uhhm... Hajime, we serve food here." - Chiaki says, looking over my shoulders.

"Huh-? But i thought-" - 'well, that info would've been useful this morning'

"Yeah... you can eat the food you brought if you'd like, but it must be cold by now..."

"I guess so... You could've told me this sooner-"

"Well, I didn't know you'd transfer here."

"Touché-"

"I apologize for interrupting, but would you mind if I had lunch with you?" - Nagito says. - 'Damn, he's super quiet- what the hell-'  - "I understand if you think i'm too disgusting to be around-"

"Shut up, Nagito, of course you can have lunch with us..." - Chiaki pauses to yawn - "...we just have to talk about something private first, then we'll join you, okay?" 

Chiaki gives him one of her soft smiles, they're really comforting, I hope it reassures Nagito.

( Nagito pov )

'They're being polite, how wonderful of them. But trash should know its place, they're probably gonna ditch me'.  

"Hmmm... Hajime, i didn't want to say anything, but, you looked a bit pale while talking to the class" - i say - "not like trash like me can say anything, though". 

He becomes as pale as he was during introductions. - 'Of course, i fucked everything up again, typical me'.

( Chiaki pov ) 

"It's about the thing we need to talk about in private" - I say, Hajime seems to calm down a bit, he gets kinda jumpy, can't blame him, last time must've been awful if his color just drained on the spot. - "We really need to go if we wanna have lunch, Nagito, can you save us a table?" 

"Of course, Chiaki" - Nagito says, that same smile he always has on his face showing. I sometimes wonder why he smiles so much. He has self-deprecative tendencies so I doubt he's happy all the time. It would be insensitive to ask, though, so I just ignore those thoughts. 

'Hajime is kinda blunt when you know him well enough... I wonder how long it'll take for him to ask Nagito. 

"Want me to grab you guys something to eat as well?" 

"Just grab me an apple" - I respond - "I'm not really hungry, also, there's an event happening today in one of my favorite games, can't lose it".

"And you, Hajime?" - Nagito asks, he seems happy to meet Hajime.

"Ah- i can't ask you to buy me lunch- I didn't bring money and-"

"Don't worry about it, money's not an issue and it would be an honor to help out Chiaki's friend". 

"No, no, it's okay, I brought some food from home, not as tasty as it would've been earlier but...-"

"Hajime wants today's special, an apple and orange juice".

"Chiaki you can't just order Nagito around-"

"I'm not, '' he offered, “and I won't let you eat that cold tasteless food". 

"Yeah, Chiaki's not ordering me around or anything, and even if she was, it would be an honor" - Nagito keeps putting the class on a pedestal, or maybe he just thinks he's too lowly or something, I don’t know, I just don't like it. It’s a bit uncomfortable but it has gotten better recently, maybe it has something to do with Miss Bustier and her more… well, caring teaching, I guess…

I yawn. Both Hajime and Nagito look at me. - “Chiaki, when did you sleep last night? You slept as soon as I ended the call… right-?” - Hajime asked, not like I could hear him, tho- too sleepy…

‘Oh crap - I haven't talked to Hajime’. - “Hey hey, Nagito, Hajime and I will be right back.” - I grab  Hajime's hand and take him 

“Of course Chiaki! If any of you need anything from me I’ll be…” - he looks around for a bit - “...probably sitting in that table... on the corner, like usual - heh…” - he then proceeds to walk away heading towards the self-service part of the cafeteria. 

( Nagito pov )

‘I overstayed my welcome, didn’t I? Of course I did, who am I kidding? Certainly not myself.’ - as I walk away I turn around to see them one last time. They are walking side by side in a kind of awkward side hug. I feel a bit creepy and bothered staring like this so i just go towards the food section.

After grabbing everything, I head towards the table, sit and wait.

( Hajime pov ) 

As Chiaki takes me to whatever secluded place she's thinking of, i wonder if i’m being stupid worrying like this. I mean, Chiaki didn’t care and she knew me pre-transition… or well, whatever I've been able to pull off at this moment. 

“You know, Hajime…” - she speaks in an almost whisper - “I've said no one would judge and I mean it.” - she drops the hug - “You don’t have to come out or anything to anyone but don’t worry about mentioning it or i don’t know, joking about it. Gundham is an enby-trans guy, Ibuki is genderfluid, Byakuya is intersex and agender, Peko is a demigirl and… uhh… the list goes on, i guess…” 

“Oh-”

“Also, you outed yourself to Fuyuhiko and Peko, so…” - Chiaki yawns again. 

“Urg don’t remind me- he’s probably gonna talk to Natsumi about it too- and she’s gonna be all… well, Natsumi about it.”

“Oh?”

“She’s not gonna be transphobic or anything, I’m pretty sure, at least- but she’s for sure gonna start sayin’ some shit like ‘are you fucking serious Hajime?!?! Why didn’t you tell me, you fucking moron?????’ or something. And I just don't feel like dealing with that.”

“Wait if she’s not transphobic, why didn’t you tell her?”

“She still kind of talks to our old classmates - and not only that but i forgot too and just got anxious whenever i'm about to do it-”

“Fair, fair…”

“This chat… was a hell of a lot shorter than I expected- shouldn't we go talk to Nagito or something? I feel kinda bad for just essentially telling him to fuck off - i feel like he has low self-esteem and- yeah-”

“Mhm… Don’t worry, he understands. But I get what you mean, and yeah he has some… concerning tendencies. It’s gotten better since Miss Bustier started teaching us, tho-” 

( Nagito pov )

‘This is… kind of awkward… What should I look at..? There isn’t much to do…’ - I start fiddling with the napkin that I grabbed alongside our lunches. - 'I can't eat without them, that'd be rude... even trash like me knows basic ethics'.

Something tells me to look at the door, maybe intuition or anxiety, although it's probably just my luck - I can’t tell the difference at this point, and they seemed to be heading here.

‘When they said private chat i thought it would take longer… or maybe be an excuse to ditch me… But they aren’t that kind of people, I'm sure … please shut up, brain, this is very annoying to you.’

I get up, wave at them, and smile.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

chp. 0 > chp. 1 pt 1 > chp. 1 pt 2 > chp. 1 pt 3

[reallyromealone]

Dustin's pretty boy brother

Omegaverse

X

It was no secret that Dustin Henderson had an unreasonably pretty older brother, it was a fact.

Mikey, Lukas and Will all knew him well, the Omega was usually the one to watch them when they had sessions at their home and was a friend of Nancy. Normally their mom would collect Dustin from club activities at school but today (name) had to as their mom was out of town visiting family leaving (name) with the task, the school was a bit creepy as he walked through the halls while slurping down a slushy, the drink still far too full to make noise as he stood infront of the hellfire club doors where yelling could be heard from the other side.

Quietly (name) knocked on the door, not wanting to be rude and just barge in he heard swearing as the door opened to reveal Mike looking confused and a bit annoyed until he realized who was at the other side "oh hey (name)" mike said more relaxed as he opened the door more to let the pretty Omega in, all eyes immediately on him.

Eddie stared him down before standing up and strutting towards the pretty man "well well... If it isn't the siren that is Hendersons brother" Eddie said with a big grin as he bowed at (name) slightly, the Omega tilting his head slightly as he looked into those pretty brown eyes before turning to look at his brother "I'm here to collect you, it's 6" (name) said simply as Dustin sighed "were almost done, just a little longer?"

(Name) thought for a second before agreeing, a bit awkward as he was the only Omega in a room full of alphas and betas but sat beside his brother awkwardly and watched the others immerse themselves and was kind of in awe at how Eddie took over the room and tried not to giggle at some of the voices he did for NPC characters not realizing Eddie was playing up a bit more for him.

Eddie could feel the pretty boy's eyes on him every so often and would stare back with a smirk, the two making eye contact until (name) decided his drink was far more interesting and eventually (name) looked at his watch and realized how late it was "shit..."

"What is it angel?" Eddie said with a head tilt and (name) looked at his brother "it's almost 9"

The room went quiet as they checked their watches "we shall continue this tomorrow!" Eddie said loudly as everyone collected their stuff, (name) giving his brother the last bit of the slushy as the large group walked out and tossed the cup in a trash can.

"Shoot... Forgot my notebook" Dustin said in realization as he quickly ran back to the class to retrieve it, leaving (name) to wait by the car "will I be seeing you tomorrow?" Eddie asked leaning against the car and smiling at (name) who tilted his head with a sweet smile "we will just have to wait and see... dungeon Master"

The Omegas words did things to Eddie as (name) gently placed a hand on the brunettes chest and leaned forward "goodnight Eddie" before walking to the drivers seat as Dustin came back with his notebook "Later Eddie!"

Eddie watched them drive off with a playful smile, he knew (name) would be there tomorrow.

He saw the way he looked at him

"So are you and Eddie gonna date or something?" Dustin asked as the siblings grabbed McDonald's for dinner and (name) choking slightly on his drink "What would make you think that?!"

"Don't act like I didn't see you two looking at each other"

"What would you say if I did consider going on a date with him"

"He would treat you right" Dustin said resolutely and (name) smiled, the siblings finishing their meals before going home.

The next day (name) dropped Dustin off, dressed in a soft sweater and jeans as the younger beta talked animatedly about the campaign so far, giving more context to the events and (name) nodded along.

He didn't really get d&d but he was happy it made his brother so happy.

"Well well, he does show" Eddie says with a big ol' grin and (name) rolls his eyes "well if you don't want me here..." (Name) said playfully as Dustin dragged him to the spot he was at the night previously but this time no drink as they prepared the set up, Eddie watching as (name) looked at the table curious.

Four hours passed and eventually they took a 15 minute break to pee or smoke and (name) stood up to stretch not realizing it was just him and Eddie in the room "I knew you would show"

"Did you?"

The two stared at each other as Eddie walked close "yes I did" he said staring into (name)s soul with a big grin "what can I say... Some things left me...captivated"

(Name) was not afraid to match Eddie's energy as the brunette chuckled and the two were practically touching nose to nose "really? May I ask what things?"

Before things could go on further the others returned causing (name) to back away.

"(Name), is it cool if I stay at wills tonight?" Dustin asked his brother "I don't see why not" (name) said as everyone packed up, Eddie perking up at this news.

"The fair (name)... All alone" Eddie teased "I won't be alone if you take me out instead" (name) fired back with a smirk and Eddie halted "for real?"

(Name) nodded with a playful look on his face and walked out, Eddie not too far behind with a smirk.

[zzztobi]

𝟏𝟗:𝟑𝟕 — session.

𖥻 ‹𝟹 pairing: suna rintaro x fem!reader

𖥻 ‹𝟹 tw: mentions of weed, oral (m), cumplay, dacryphilia (?), nipple play, suna being mean bc is my fav suna.

𖥻 ‹𝟹 wordcount: 1,2k

the smell of weed seeped into your room trough your open window. it wasn't the first time though, as your neighbour, suna rintaro, would always start his smoking session at this time of the day.

your apartments were next to each other, a thin wall dividing both of your bedrooms. apart from the sick smell of marijuana, you could also hear his loud music playing. gin n juice by snoop dogg, to be more exact.

annoyed to his lack of respect, you decided to hive him a warning. exams season was coming soon and you couldn't concentrate because of him!

so, leaving your apartment, you knocked on the next door, waiting for a response. some minutes passed by and no one came to open the door. you knocked again, harshly this time, and the music suddenly stopped and your tall neighbour opened the door.

“what is it?” his eyes half closed and red as they could be looking down at you. you always thought he was hot but his shitty personality really did him no good.

“could you please shut down the music? i'm tryna study ya know? it's loud” he just nodded and closed the door on your face. what the fuck?

ignoring his rudeness, a sound of relief left your mouth as you were now sat down on your desk, focusing on your books. closing the window much to your dismay since the smell of weed kept coming in.

everything was silent, except of the ruffling of your work sheets and books. but it was only the calm before the storm ...

even louder than before, suna started playing another snoop dogg song: the next episode. was he messing with you or what?!

anger emerged from all of your body, you couldn't believe he ignored you, not only that but, increased the volume of it!

standing up again and leaving your apartment for the second time today, you knocked on his door, furiously. he opened it again with a smirk on his face, amused. the song still playing on the back.

“i think i told you to shut it down dumbass, i'm still trying to study!” his smirk increased until it became a whole smile. you just couldn't understand it, was he too high or perhaps was he just too stupid?

“oh yeah? my bad, forgot it. ” he forgot it?! you swore you could punch him in the face right now.

“well? shut it down!” you were starting to get really pissed off from his attitude. he was just an asshole that had fun messing with you!

“on one condition,” you looked into his reddish lidded eyes, waiting for his request, “you have to gimme one kiss”

not believing your own auditory senses and with pure desbelief on your face you asked a simple “what did you say?”

“yeah, just kiss me and i swear i'll turn it down. i think you're cute” his annoying smirk coming back again, irking something underneath your skin.

"this guy is nuts!” you thought. never in your life would you do something like that! but suna would not take a no as an answer, he always got what he wanted.

taking your wrist he pulled you into his apartment. locking the door after. his face getting closer to yours, your body not responding to the warnings from your brain. the smell of marijuana dizzying. your mind wanted to stop him but your body didn't react like your brain wanted to.

when his lips crushed with yours, a rush of electricity ran all over your body to your pussy. his kiss nothing you were used to- animalistic and desperate, like a starved man.

you soon kissed him back, tilting your head to the side to deepen the kiss. his hands left your wrist to be placed on your lower back, bringing your body close to him.

walking backwards, he led you to his couch where you sat down. suna standing in front of you, peering down at your face and swollen lips. he hummed and started to unbotton his black jeans. happy with your submission.

you were sure what he wanted but unsure if this is what you wanted. you couldn't deny that he was hot, and that kiss made you wetter than any other kiss you got, but was it the right?

making a decision, you helped him pull down his pants along with his boxers. his hard dick almost hitting your face in the process. at your actions all he did was smirk down at you.

“get on with it pretty girl, you still got to study right?” he demanded, his gaze now serious on your body. “but first, remove your shirt, i wanna see your tits babe”

the nickname he just gave you, doing lots of things to your brain. obeying him, you took off your shirt and bra letting him see your naked torso, his dick twitching at the sight. he patted your head along with a “good girl” causing your thighs to close and rub against each other.

soon you started to pump his dick slowly and tempting, using his precum as lube. he kept staring at your face the whole time, mouth agape and breath accelerated.

you sticked your tongue out and started to give kitten licks to his tip and shaft, earning some grunts from him, encouraging you to do more. then opened your mouth, taking his tip in while your right hand kept giving its ministrations to the end of his cock.

“shit, pretty face, keep going. ” he moaned at the feeling of tour wet and warm mouth around him, he's been dreaming about this since the first day he saw you around.

lowering your head inch by inch, you started to take all of him into his mouth. tongue swirling around his dick. his shallow breaths and moans, along with the music, the only sounds resonating in his apartment.

as soon as you bottomed out, both of his hands grasped the sides of your head, keeping you in position. your breath taken away by the intrusion on your mouth, making you gag.

then his hips started to thrust in and out of your mouth, using it for his own pleasure, not minding if it was attached to a human being.

“fuck yeah, your mouth feels so good. ” another series of grunts and moans followed. “you're taking me so well, like the fucking slut you are, shit!” your gagged sounds now joining the music and grunts.

your hands grabbing his thighs for some balance while you let him do whatever he wanted with your mouth. focusing your breath through your nose, some tears falling down your cheeks.

“shit, 'm gonna cum baby. gonna cum on those pretty tits of yours, fuck!” and with a few more thrusts, he pulled out of your mouth cumming all over your breasts. white ropes running down your hard nipples.

coming down from his high, his now common smirk returning back to his face. his fingers taking all his cum and spreading it on your nipples while teasing and playing with them.

“still wanna study? i can teach ya some anatomy if ya want. ”

even if your degree had nothing to do with science, you must say, your failed exam was worth it after the little tutoring you had from suna rintaro that night.

©️ zzztobi — 2022

[veshiro]

Okay so idek how to explain this but imagine yuuta X reader where he’s trying to teach you how to bake (he just seems like he could bake for some reason) but you’re genuinely the worst baker he’s ever seen. He loves you so much that he’s trying not to be rude but he can’t stop laughing at you and you’re getting upset. He makes it up to you with cuddles and the most delicious cookies you’ve ever had in your life.

- 👹 anon

warnings: you LOL, suggestive

notes: hello dear 👹-anon. you will never cease to amaze me when you send the fluffiest stuff but have the most aggressive emoji😭 i totally agree he would bake it just…makes sense. i don’t know what came over me at the end, he’s just too irresistible

yuuta never considered himself a baker. sure, he made cakes and other sweets when he was bored, but it was just something to keep himself occupied. he couldn’t resist making more because everytime he gave you his creations you rewarded him with the biggest smile before hugging him. and yuuta is whipped, so he doesn’t stop.

“can you teach me?”

“hm?” his voice reverberating as you lay on his chest.

“to bake. it seems fun,” you look up at him with a smile.

“yeah, why not?” he exhales and gently moves you from his chest, the air now cold without his familiar warmth.

you follow him and take a seat on the stool by the counter. he pushes his sleeves up and runs a hand through his messy hair before rummaging through the cabinets.

“what do you want to make?”

“your favorite,”

he chuckles and places a chaste kiss on your lips, the taste of strawberries from his chapstick flooding your senses. yuuta was a bit…plain. he enjoyed the simple things in life, which included vanilla cake. he grabs the vanilla mix and sets the box down beside you. he has the recipe memorized so everything is quickly out and ready.

“it’s really not hard. i just follow what the box says,”

he motions you over and places a hand on your waist as you stand in front of him.

“first we’ll do the dry mix,” his voice was a mere whisper against your ear.

his back flush against yours, allowing his cologne to surround you. did he always smell this good? you cup open the cake mix and pour it into the bowl, throwing away the plastic after. you escape his grasp to grab the milk from the fridge and pour it into the measuring cup.

“wait-“ he reaches out to stop you but it’s too late, “that’s heavy whipping cream…”

“oh. oops,”

“it’s alright, maybe it’ll work out,” he offers you a smile.

his hand is right beside your head as he reaches past you to grab the actual milk. knowing what he’s doing, he smirks and backs away to add the milk the bowl.

“can you get me two eggs?” he hums while mixing.

you can’t help but stare at his forearms, since his sleeves are rolled up it’s all on display for you.

he calls out your name again, “you okay?”

you pick out two eggs from the carton and carefully place them on the counter. except one rolls and hits the ground, splattering everywhere.

“shit,” you say and immediately grab paper towels.

yuuta was starting to doubt your abilities in the kitchen. how did you survive so long on your own? he squats down and tells you he’ll clean it up.

“mix in a bit of sugar,” he instructs while wiping the floor.

“yes sir,”

“darling, i mean this in the nicest way possible, but how do you confuse salt with sugar?”

“well who puts salt in a container? it looks the same,” you cross your arms, “it’ll be fine we’ll just add sugar and it’ll hide the saltiness,”

he sighs and runs a hand through his hair, “i’m starting to think you’re hopeless,”

he winces as you pour the batter all the way to the top of the cake plan, not even greasing it prior. he gives up. while the cake is baking you watch a movie on the couch

“shouldn’t it be done by now?” you question.

“you forgot the timer, didn’t you?” he sighs, again. how many times was that today?

“i swear i’m not this bad in the kitchen,”

the cake is burnt and seeping out of the pan, he regrets letting you learn your lesson with that because the oven was a mess.

“maybe you should leave the cooking to me, princess,”

you pout, “i just wanted to do something for you,”

“you do enough just being with me,”

he pulls your chin up to look at him, smiling before kissing you gently.

“why don’t i teach you something else, hm? i have a feeling you’ll be able to it well,”

[alreadyblondenow]

Easy come, easy go

“I’m saying, we’re not going to be okay when we’re apart. I’m not sure if I could give the same efforts you’re about to offer in the future,”

Pairing: Jeno x female!reader Genre: SMUT, FLUFF, ANGST. Enemies to lovers, strangers to lovers, summer love WC: 3,038k Warnings: female reader wears lipstick, jeno putting on lipstick to you, swearing, mentions of parties and one beer, but no alcohol consumption, high school graduates so it the summer before college starts. Unprotected sex, mentions of making out, breakup, couch sex, mentions of other idols.  A/N: I’m in a jeno mood for days already now ughs

It all started this summer, where your cousin Haechan introduced you to some of his friends to somehow help you make new friends over the summer. Having new friends is nice of course, who wouldn't want that. But meeting Lee Jeno and being nice to him was the worst decision you made so far. He was annoying, rude, has poor eyesight and seriously you don't understand why girls go crazy over him. It's like he is this walking nightmare the whole summer that you try to avoid at all costs but you just can't because he and Haechan are best friends.

"The guy likes you. Jeno is not usually "rude" to girls, in fact, he's good with girls. So just have more patience with him," Haechan explains after you rant your heart out during a house party. "Fix your lipstick its smudge- I'll go get you a beer, wait here" and so you did, you took out your phone and your lipstick, trying to re-apply it under the dim lights and neon lights, then suddenly someone bumped your shoulder so hard and spilled their drink on your thin blouse.

It was Jeno. And instead of saying sorry he let out a small laugh and pretended that he didn't do it on purpose. "You look like a clown- uh, your lips... here let me get that for you-"

"Fuck you. Don't touch me," you said sternly and walked away. Leaving Jeno completely speechless and worried because he really did fucked up this time.

You looked for the nearest bathroom and wash away the beer from your blouse but it's useless. The beer stained already it's so obvious, not to mention your face is a mess and Jeno was right you look like a clown because you didn't notice you put on too much lipstick earlier. "Fuck" you murmured and got a tissue to wipe away your ruined makeup.

"Y/n, it's Jeno uhm... Can you please open the door so we could talk, and I could apologize sincerely" he rests his head on the door while holding on to the knob, waiting for you to open it. Thankfully, you did but not because you're being soft this time, you only opened the door because sooner or later you have to deal with him and you rather talk to him in private.

"What?" you asked without meeting his eyes and trying to re-apply your lipstick again but this time you're sure you'll get it right.

"I really didn't mean it earlier. I have poor eyesight and as you can see I don't have glasses right now, so that's why... I'm really sorry." he explained, short but you know it's the truth. He wouldn't come and find you if he didn't want to apologize.

"Apology accepted," you leaned on the mirror and continue to what you're doing but to your surprise, he came closer, grabbed you by the waist gently, and took the lipstick out of your hand.

"Turn towards me," you do as you're told, he then lifted your head, and then you watch him put a little pigment on his middle finger, just enough for your lips and just how you like it. Is he really this good with girls that he even knew how to apply lipstick? "Part you lips," he requests.

But it was a request that made the atmosphere a little warmer and it both made your hearts beat so fast.

Gently then he dabs his finger lightly on your lips, carefully putting enough color into it and careful not to ruin it again for the second time. And when he's done, you simply locked eyes and that's when you saw that he does like you.

Then he kissed you and stopped the world for you. Everything turned silent even though the party music outside the bathroom was blaring and everyone seems to be shouting. It was a quick kiss but it felt so good and right at the same time that Jeno asked for more and wanted to deepen the kiss but you stopped him.

"Okay okay. I understand now," you giggle and erased the pigment on his lips with your thumb. "Let's take it slow," you said and smiled at him but the man who's smiling so big in front of you reached out for the doorknob and locked it. You would be lying if you say you don't want him to kiss you again.

A few days after the kiss, Jeno didn't stop teasing you in front of his friends but it got lessen. A few days later, the little crush grew and grew until Jeno decided he really wanted to try and make things work with you. He can be so annoying to the point that you wanted to punch him, but you know that he's serious when it comes to his feelings. Jeno can be a real asshole sometimes, but the man knew how to make you happy and smile privately.

After the first month of summer, you and Jeno had the time of your lives and spend your precious time together privately. Night swimming in his house, sneaking out to make out during parties with friends, you visiting him during his work and wait for him until its closing time. The first month was beautiful and you didn't expect you would have a great time with someone you used to hate. Even though you hide what relationship you have from everyone, you and Jeno love the privacy and to be honest you don't care if he doesn't flex you to everyone. The man loves you and that's what's important.

“Welcome, beautiful”

Jeno said with a big and teasing smile as you enter the coffee shop his family owns and where he usually works whenever he’s free. “You here to see me? I knew it, you always had a crush on me” he teases further.

“No dumbass, I’m here to buy Haechan a cake,” you said, scanning the displayed cakes and avoiding to look at Jeno’s handsome smile. “I’ll take the birthday cake, and three candles please”

You watch Jeno put the cake and secure it in a box, with the three candles as requested. Giving it to you before he accepts your payment, "You're really not here for me? While I think about you every second of the day?" he pouts and crossed his arms.

"Oh you're annoying, see you tonight" you rolled your eyes but left a smile before you leave him.

Tonight is Haechan's birthday and everyone at home was busy preparing for the party including you. It's a sleepover, only Haechan's closest friends and a few family members were invited that's why you're lucky you get to sleep with Jeno tonight, you just have to plan out how you can sneak out without the others seeing you.

As the party started and guests started arriving, you and Jeno barely talked to each other because you were busy talking to your relatives. But he never let you out of his sight, he was watching you from afar and listing the names of the guys who talk to you tonight in his head. And when all family members came home and everyone who stayed are all drunk and sleeping, you went downstairs to where Jeno is sleeping and brought him a pillow and a blanket.

"Thought you forgot about me already, hi" he waited for you on the couch while he's laying comfortably there with all the lights turned off and only the light from the swimming pool illuminates the room.

"Don't you want to sleep somewhere comfortable?" you whisper and sat on top of him, legs on both of his sides.

"Now that you're on top of me, this is my definition of comfort" he smiled so sweetly and reached for your face to cup it and kiss you. "Let's sleep here tonight," he whispered and pulled your body closer to him. Lips moving, tongue swirling on each other while your hands are intertwined. Letting yourselves enjoy this quiet night for this busy day kept you both apart from each other for so long.

"Jaemin was too friendly with you earlier,"

"I didn't notice- wait, you were watching me the whole time?" you whispered back.

"Of course I'm watching you,"

"Well if we go out in public he wouldn't be so clueless, and you wouldn't end up hating your friend"

"I like the privacy we have. Plus do you realize how much teasing we'd get from Haechan?" you agreed to him and placed your head on top of his chest to listen to his heartbeat. "You know when I first saw you my heart beat so fast that I ended up being rude to you instead of acting cute," you feel the vibrations of his giggle and hear him well. It was just a few words, a sincere gesture and, a little honesty but it made you feel something deep inside that made you confess your love to him.

"I love you. I know it's too early to say it, but there I said. I love you," you hide your face on the side of his neck and feel him soothe your back.

"I was planning to say it first, that's not fair. But, me too. I love you too." he searched for your eyes and flashed a handsome smile at you. Tracing your lips as he remembers the first night he kissed you for the first time. Then you came closer to him for a kiss but the moment heated in no time and the next thing you know you're pulling down Jeno's shorts and palm his big cock through his boxers briefs.

He let out guttural sounds, proof that he's loving the pleasure but careful enough not to be heard so you kissed him and caught all his moans as you continue to work on his cock and eventually started grinding on top of him.

"Are we really having our first on a couch?" he whispered in between kissing, hands started to undo the buttons from your sleepwear. Finally exposing yourself to him, "beautiful as always," he murmured but you rolled your eyes on him, making you both giggle quietly. You removed his shirt and proceed to kiss his very hot body, kissing him on the neck, his collar bones, abs, and most importantly, his sensitive nipples that made him part his lips when your tongue made contact with it. "You're going to be the death of me," he said and slipped his hand inside your thin shorts to palm your ass. You then took initiative, to remove your shorts and throw it on the floor. Now that you're both only in your underwear it made you even more excited.

Slowly Jeno let his hand wander around your body, touching your boobs for the very first time and brushing his fingers oh so softly on your nipples and make them hard just like what you did to his. Until you intentionally came closer to him so you're boobs are near his face and did not hesitate to suck it until both of your nipples are swollen.

"When was the last time you had sex?" he whispered beside your ear and the way he asked you just made you breathe in deeply and let out a small moan.

"Let's just say that it's been too long that you will think you're fucking a virgin,"

"It's going to be a long night then," he said and immediately put two fingers inside you which made you hold onto his shoulder and grind on his fingers. "You were right," Jeno felt how tight you were and became more excited that he moved his finger deeper and curled them, massaging your tight walls and watching you enjoy the pleasure that he give you while you're on top of him.

Then he removed it and you let out a heavy sigh because of frustration, you were so wet by this time and you see his boxers briefs stained with your pussy juices and you swear, you wanted to get mad at him but now is not the time. "Put your fingers back in please,"

“You were so close to cumming, don't you want to cum on my dick instead?" he asked you, pulling his hard cock from his boxers briefs and reaching for your hand for you to palm it and feel how big he is. You swallowed the lump in your throat as you look at how big he is and you knew right then and there that he will feel good. So you position yourself comfortably on top of him, touching yourself for a few seconds before you let him line his cock on your hole.

"Just go slow," he said before you sink down and take him whole. Lips parting and eyebrows furrowing as you take him and let his big cock stretch you out. And when it's finally in, you breathe in and out heavily before you move your hips and make you both feel good.

"Oh fuck" he croaked and place his hands on your waist pulling you closer to him so he could keep you close. "Go slower," he whispered beside your ear then watch your pussy swallow his dick. The sight of it just made him want to fuck you hard tonight, break you and make you scream but he can't.

From the tip of his cock right to his balls, you were that deep that you were both losing your minds at that very moment. His hands roam around your body but it mostly stays on your ass, caressing your butt cheeks and teasing your butthole for a few times so you clench around him. "That's cheating," you joke and kissed him.

He pulled you in for a hug and focused on how you fuck him. Yes, fuck him. And this time a little faster and deeper that he's already on edge and making faces already. Faces that he does whenever he's about to have a mind blowing orgasm that he rarely gets. "K-keep fucking me like that," he said with deep groans, one arm around your waist and one arm reaches for your clit.

"Baby, you don't have to do that- fuck that feels good, mmm" his fingers were enough to make you crazy that you ended up fucking him faster, that the couch creaks already and anyone who is awake can definitely tell you're fucking on the couch.

And when the most awaited moment comes, he pushed you away so he could pull out and pump his cock and let his cum land on his stomach. With heavy breaths and a weak body, Jeno looked at you so lovingly at the other side of the couch. Reaching for his shirt to clean his cum so you could go back to your comfort on top of him.

"I'm sorry you didn't cum,” he said softly, sitting up to reach for you and kiss your shoulders as you busy yourself to wear your panties and sleepwear again. Jeno did the same before you two squeeze your bodies on the small couch. Laying bodies to bodies, sharing one blanket and keeping each other close the whole night.

And when the morning comes, you woke up alone on the couch with the blanket perfectly covering your body from the morning breeze.

Days after that fateful night, you and Jeno find ways to have sex whenever you can and enjoy the second month of summer together doing the things you want to do together, going on places and making unforgettable memories. But just as your relationship was going well, you didn’t expect it to fall right before your eyes.

While you were walking hand in hand on the street just after he ends his shift at the cafe and promised to walk you home, you were reminded of the following things you have to deal with just before this summer ends. And because you’re preparing for your college move-in next month, you mentioned it to Jeno for the first time with excited eyes and high pitched tones. “Am I boring you? Sorry, I was just excited” you said. And then he stopped walking.

“I’m not good with long distance. I love you but I know myself, I could end up cheating and hurting you-“

“Where is this coming from? What are you saying? What are you implying?” you asked, question after question because you have no idea why he’s acting like this. You didn’t expect that your excitement for your college dorms will spark something that will ruin your day.

“I’m saying, we’re not going to be okay when we’re apart. I’m not sure if I could give the same efforts you’re about to offer in the future,” he avoided eye contact and clenched his jaw. You’ve never seen him cold like this before.

“So in other words you’re telling me that eventually, we will break up? You just can’t say it to my face because you’re a coward who would rather give up than try the whole long distance shit first?”

Unfortunately, he nodded. And you don’t know why you’re still holding his hand so let him go and walked away.

“Y/n- fuck,” he followed you and tried stopping you, “let's not do this tonight please, it's so sudden,”

You closed your eyes and tried so hard not to cry in front of him. He just kept on saying the wrong words and it's breaking your heart.

“I would rather accept this sudden situation than let you hurt me slowly on the following days.” you shook your head and show him your disappointment. And what hurts you the most is he didn’t even tried to fight for you, or say he's sorry or admit that he’s wrong. He just let you walk away and throw everything that you built tonight.

A few days after your break up, Jeno regrets everything he did that he even tried reaching out to you and Haechan. But he was too late. You left because you can’t stay there and wait for him to chose you again, only to have the same answers that you get on the night you broke up.  

[reidgraygubler]

carolina (spencer reid/reader

Title: Carolina

Request: no, but it was written for @spencerreidbingo​

Couple: spencer reid/fem!reader

Category: smut/angst, with a tiny bit of fluff

Content Warning: SEXUAL CONTENT (praise kink, mild-innocence kink, daddy kink, fingering, oral (male & female), penetrative sex, unprotected sex/cream pie, grinding/petting, hairpulling, breathplay, multiple orgasms, possessive kink, orgasm denial), partying, drinking, swearing, large age gap (between two consenting adults), professor/student, post prison!reid, quick mentions of drinks being drugged (but not actually happening) (if I missed anything, please let me know)

Word Count: 9,064

Summary: Spencer thinks his peer is innocent. But little does he not, she’s not as innocent as he thinks.

A/N: it’s based on carolina by harry styles, bc im a sucker for a good harry song. This was written for @spencerreidbingo​ (i’ll have a separate post with more about that). this takes up the breathplay square on my card (pictured below). This is also the first time im writing a blowjob scene, so im really sorry if it’s not good. i also didn’t have a beta for this, so im kinda blindly posting this. and, lastly, this is a lot longer than i intended. i didn’t mean for it to get this long… it’s just a bunch of words my brain wouldn’t stop saying until i wrote it... i seriously hope you all enjoy this. thank you all for the love and support! check out my masterlist!

~*~* THIS DOES CONTAIN 18+ CONTENT!! *~*~

{***}{***}{***}

I kept my eyes low as I stepped into the lecture hall 5 minutes before anyone else. The professor was writing something on the chalkboard, so his back was facing the room. 

“Uh, hello,” I spoked, stepping closer to his desk. He jumped slightly and dropped his chalk at the sound of my voice. I would have expected him to know students would be showing up earlier, considering it was the start of a new semester. And, I honestly would have assumed he was told a new student was coming. That’s not my job. 

“Oh, sorry,” he turned around to face me. I smiled softly, watching

as he bent down to pick up the chalk. I cocked my head to the side, watching his backside as he stood back up. He pushed his hair away from his face. “You must be the new transfer,” he asked, resting the chalk on his desk, beside a pile of pens.

“Yep. That’s me…” I smiled, looking up at his face, keeping myself from further checking him out. I quickly offered my hand and gave him my name. “I know I’m early. I figured I’d get the syllabus from you now instead of after class,” I nodded as I adjusted my grip on my bag. He stared at me for a moment, his eyes lingering on my face and then down my body, and that moment felt like an eternity. I shouldn’t be mad or frustrated with him. I basically did the same thing to him moments ago.

 I cleared my throat to get his attention once again. “The, uh… The syllabus?” I asked as my smile faltered slightly. He looked at me before looking at the pile of papers on his desk before quickly moving.

“Right, right, sorry,” he muttered as he began shuffling through the piles of paper on his desk. “Um, here you are,” he looked back up at me as he handed me a small packet. I looked at it for a moment before looking back up at the teacher.

“Perfect, thank you,” I spoke, my words kind of lingering because he never actually gave me his name. 

“Right, sorry, Spencer. Spencer Reid. I won’t be a drill sergeant about the whole Mr., Dr., Professor. You can call me whatever you want,” he smiled as he placed his hands on the back of his chair. I held back my laughter and the wildly inappropriate joke that I wanted to make.

“Well, Professor Reid,” I smiled as I looked down at my watch, “I better go find a seat before your class starts. I can’t wait to be in your class,” I looked up at him before turning to find a spot. When I sat down, Spencer looked at me with a smile, before going back to writing on the chalkboard. 

I quickly and quietly pulled out my books and pens as the other people in the class filed in and took their seats. Spencer quickly finished writing on the board before turning around to greet the class. And, even as he spoke to the class, and looked around at each of the other students, his eyes always landed on me, lingering for a moment before going elsewhere.

{***}{***}{***}

Five months. Five months into being in Spencer Reid’s class, and I have been suffering. I’m not a new student anymore. But the only friendship I’ve made is with my fucking professor, and there’s a certain level of tension between us. That tension was probably thanks to him staring at me during lectures, and me teasing him while he taught. It wasn’t too bothersome, but I definitely wanted something to happen. Unfortunately for me, I don’t think anything will happen. 

So, can someone please tell me why I invited Spencer over to help me study for a test? It’s a stupid question too, that I already figured out the answer to… I even finished studying for the day, and I’m going to a stupid party. Maybe I could get him to go with… And maybe, just maybe, something could happen.

I nearly jumped when there was a knock on the door. It’s not that I forgot he was coming over. It’s that I was so wrapped up in doing my makeup and forgot what time it was. My mascara almost smudged when I jumped back. Thank God it didn’t smudge too terribly. 

I grabbed my shirt off the counter and threw it on (not bothering to zip it), before running to the front door. I smoothed out my skirt before pulling the door open. And, there stood Spencer. 

“Hope I’m not too late,” he looked down at me and smiled. Although, his smile didn’t stay for too long when he saw what I was wearing. He wasn’t disappointed though, no. He was… He clearly liked what he saw, I’ll just put it that way.

“Oh! Thanks for coming over, but I actually figured it out. I should’ve called you,” I looked up at Spencer as he stepped into my apartment. I struggled to zip the back of my blouse as I walked towards my room. I looked back over my shoulder and noted that Spencer was, indeed, still following me. “Can you zip me up,” I stopped in my tracks before giving up on zipping my blouse. It was a black crop top that paired well with the pale pink tennis skirt. 

“Where… Where exactly are you going tonight? It’s a, uh, it’s a school night,” he asked as he lifted his hands. The cool metal of the zipper pressed against my back, causing a shiver to go through my spine.

“Uh, there’s this party,” I answered, stepping away from him and towards the bathroom, “Thought I’d go,” I looked at him in the mirror. Spencer looked around the bathroom, at the messy mess I had made on my counter. Different pallets of makeup and tools were strewn about, a varying amount of hair care products tossed here and there. It honestly looked like a bathroom of a pageant queen, and not a 20-something-year-old. In my defense, I had to dress to impress someone here in this stupid university. 

“Is that, uh… Is that smart?” Spencer asked, leaning against the door jamb. I looked up at him as I put on some luxurious red lipstick. I smiled as I looked at him.

“I think it is,” I laughed as I picked up something else and turned to look at him, “You wanna come? I wasn’t invited,” I smiled wickedly as I looked at him. His face paled two shades as he looked at me. “Oh, c’mon, Professor, no one will know us there, and I can assure you, no one will even see us,” I looked up at him as I readjusted his tie. He looked down at me before swallowing roughly. 

“I don-”

“I do need a designated driver,” I spoke before cutting him off. I walked past him and towards my room. Part of me wondered what he was thinking as I so rudely rushed past him, or cut him off, or whatever I was doing. I wished I could hear his thoughts. I wondered if they consisted of “The mouth on that girl,” or, “I should punish her for the way she’s acting,” or, my personal favorite, “I should put that mouth to good use,” 

“How old are you again?” Spencer asked once I sat down on my bed. I looked up at him as I slipped my shoes on.

“22,” I smiled and stood up, “Why, is that important?” I smiled as I grabbed my coat and purse.

“Couldn’t remember,” he lied. We both knew he was lying. He even knew that too. Freaking walking computer is what he is. There's no way he conveniently forgot how old I was. “Are you going to be out late?”

“Why? It’s not like you’re my dad or anything?” I laughed, leading him back to the front door of the house. “I don’t plan on being out too late. I know there’s class tomorrow,” I shrugged as I walked towards his car. 

We both stayed silent as he drove with the directions I was quietly giving him. I was pleasantly happy that we were both quiet, but what I hated was the sudden awkward sexual tension that was between us. If he didn’t have this… domineering personality over me there probably wouldn’t be this tension between us.

“Are you going to come with me?” I looked up at him as I unbuckled. He glanced over at me with slight disappointment in his eye. I felt a little bad, but I really wanted to go to this party, I wasn’t going to let my professor’s disappointment stop me. “Please,” I whispered. He sighed before unbuckling himself. I had to force myself to not verbally giggle with excitement before slipping out of the car. Spencer looked down at me as I twisted my hips to swish my skirt. I smiled as I entertained myself. I'm sure if I wasn't watching my skirt, I would have been staring at him, giving myself away. 

“Steps,” Spencer muttered as we got closer to the porch. I looked up at him before looking towards the small staircase. I looked up at Spencer with a smile. He glanced back down at me, a worried crease in his brow. I looked down at my skirt and smoothed it out. I looked at the door as we stood close to it, I contemplated knocking.

  “So, you weren’t invited to this party?” Spencer asked, looking down at me. His voice stopped me from knocking. Instead, I looked up at him and smiled back up at him. He raised an eyebrow as he waited for an answer from me. My smile grew playful as I looked back at the door, raising my fist to knock on it. “No answer?” he asked, still waiting for my answer.

“Oh, please, Professor Reid, I can get into the hottest parties in LA without an invitation,” I smiled at him. That was a little bit of an over-exaggeration. Most college parties I could get into. But not LA parties. Someday though… 

The door swung open, and we were instantly met with loud music blaring through a speaker somewhere in the house. People’s voices and chatter carried all throughout the house, coming through the various rooms and clusters around. “Are you coming in to babysit me? Or, are you going to go back to your car to read the science of the mathematical phenomenon,” I looked up at him, offering my hand to him. I wasn’t exactly sure if that was a real book or not, but I wouldn’t put it past Spencer to read. 

“I’m not babysitting you,” he corrected as he looked down at me with a disappointed look in his eye. I smiled and rolled my eyes. 

“Are you going to come in and watch me drink and party and have fun, Professor… Or, are you going to go back to your car and read your silly little book,” I looked down at my hand, silently telling him to take my hand and come in with me. 

“I, uh, I don’t think it’s exactly in the rules for a professor to party, let alone drink, with their students,” Spencer spoke before looking down at my hand. I dropped my shoulders and looked up at him.

“Fine then… Suit yourself,” I turned around and basically skipped into the house, leaving the door open for him. I made my way towards the loud kitchen and grabbed for a cup and bottle of whatever booze was nearby. I blindly grabbed for a bottle of Grey Goose and dumped it into the cup, no mixer, no chaser. 

“First off,” Spencer’s voice came from beside me. I looked up at him and took a long sip of vodka. “You shouldn’t be taking drinks from people at a party,” he spoke, taking the cup from me. I looked up at him, then the bottle and a new cup. I was only a little annoyed that he took my drink. 

“I… I’m young. I’m not dumb,” I grabbed a new cup and poured more vodka. I looked up at him and offered him a sip. “I know not to drink something given to me by someone I don’t know.” I scoffed before taking another long sip. I cringed a bit at how strong it was.

“Even then someone could slip something into a drink! Even if you did know them!” Spencer exclaimed, causing the surrounding people to turn and look at us. I dropped my shoulders as I looked up at him. 

“If you look around, Spencer, you’re the only person that I know. So unless you’re the one slipping something into my drink… And, as an FBI agent… I don’t think you would,” I cocked my head to my shoulder. Spencer looked at me with a raised eyebrow. “You have more to say,” I added before taking a sip of my drink.

"And, secondly, you're not as innocent as I had originally thought you were," he watched as I brought the cup of straight vodka to my lips. He looked rather unamused with my talent for drinking straight vodka.

"You thought I was innocent?" I asked, nearly sputtering the liquid with my laughter. "Please! I've never been innocent in my entire life!" I shouted over the music. He raised an eyebrow at my statement, and suddenly I had the greatest idea in the world. "But maybe, just for you, I'll be a good girl," I smiled before drinking the rest of my drink in one go. Spencer looked down at me, his lips pressed into a fine as he stared down at me. Ohh, that definitely awoken something in him. I bit back my smile with my offer. Innocent… He thinks I’m innocent. Ha! I honestly don’t remember the last time I was innocent. And, honestly, just for him… I’d be an innocent, good, little girl for Spencer Reid any day, every day even. “I can be your good, innocent little girl,” I smiled at him and cocked my head.

"I don't… I don't think that'd be… appropriate," he spoke, his words very quiet. We both knew that even though it was inappropriate, we both wanted it. We both knew what we wanted to. 

I glanced at him before pouring more drink for myself. "You should learn to pace yourself," he stated and changed the subject. He nervously looked at the bottle of vodka and then around the room at all the other people drinking. Or, he was just looking for a drink that wasn’t booze. Did he actually want to keep me safe, or was I just overreading him?     

"It's a college party, Professor! I'm not going to pace myself!" I shouted just to get his attention back to me. His head shot back down to me. The level of concern on his face only made me feel a little bad, mostly because he was concerned for me. But, he should know… This is a college party.  “Do you want some?” I asked, offering my drink to him again. I held it up to him, close to his lips. His face twisted up as soon as the scent of pure vodka hit his nose.

“No, no thanks,” he held up at hand to block the cup from his face. I pouted before bringing it to my lips. “Do you usually come to parties,” he asked, his eyes darting around the room. Part of me wondered if he wanted to continue that question with “Like this?” But,  I was too busy keeping my eyes on his face, rather than looking around the room like he was. Although, I’m sure he was used to keeping an eye on his surroundings. I’ve never been too worried about it, I probably should… But hey, you only live once. Going to college parties with your 38-year-old professor, and drinking straight vodka, and not really caring about your surroundings proves my point of YOLO.

“If I don’t have class or anything to study for… Yep,” I looked up at him with a sneaky smile. The joke with that was his particular class had a test coming up soon, and I should be studying for it. He knew that too because he just announced the test this morning. Although, he did come to my home, to help me with said test. “But, I wouldn't show up to his class hungover. It’d disappoint him too much. And, he’d care too much about me to even focus on the rest of the class,” I spoke, answering the questions he was thinking. It’s not like I’ve shown up to classes hungover before. Granted, I’ve never shown up to his class drunk or hungover. Mostly because I didn’t want to disappoint him, and only him. Anyone and everyone else can go blow themselves.

“How do you know that?” Spencer asked, looking back at me with furrowed eyebrows. I smiled and stepped closer to him.  

“How do I know what?” I cocked my head to my shoulder. I already knew what he meant by his question, but… I think teasing him and messing with him is fun. And, he knew that too.

“How do you know that you’d disappoint him?” he looked down at me, pressing his chin to his chest to get a better look at me. His hands were away from me, even though I really wanted his hands anywhere on me. I looked over at my hand and the cup I held before bringing it to my lips. I took a long sip, trying to finish the contents in one go. I tossed the cup over my shoulder and looked up at him with a lazy smile.

“Because being hungover, with the slight possibility of still being drunk, would totally disappoint him… And I would hate to disappoint him.” I whispered and shook my head. Spencer looked down at me with something in his eyes, and I loved the way he looked at me. “I told you, Professor, I’d be a good girl for you,” I cocked my head to my shoulder and smiled, “And only for you,”

“You’re drunk,” he pointed out an obvious fake statement. So, I cackled and shook my head.

“I had one drink,” I scoffed and waved off my in the air, “Most definitely not enough to get me drunk,” I flattened his tie out before gripping it tightly, “Like I said, I wouldn’t want to disappoint you,” I smiled before dropping my hand from his tie, “So, why would I show up to your class… Hungover…? I know you’d care… And I know it’d disappoint you. That’s the last thing I want to do to you,”  

Spencer’s adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed roughly. He quickly looked between me and the room, then back at me, then around the room. I faked a yawn before looking away from him.

“I’m gonna go to the bathroom, okay, Professor?” I smoothed out his jacket before turning and leaving him alone in the kitchen. I smiled as I skipped away from him, my skirt swishing with my movement. I secretly hoped he’d follow me. But, a quick glance over my shoulder told me he was still in the kitchen.

However, when I finished my business and left the bathroom, Spencer was leaning against the wall right beside the door. I looked up at him and smiled. 

“Follow me,” he muttered, grasping my wrist and pulling me down the various halls and past multiple groups of people. I giggled the harder his grasp grew on me and the faster he moved. I’m happy people were too busy with themselves to notice a 30-something-year-old man was dragging a 20-something-year-old girl down the hall, to which I can assume was one of the only open bedrooms. Fuck… I hope it's a bedroom. 

He was a man on a mission. Not letting anyone get in his way. The smile that grew on my lips was pure excitement. I couldn’t help it. I’m sure we’re both getting what we wanted… I hope.

I let out an excited yelp when he shoved me into, exactly what I thought, an empty bedroom. I’m surprised he knew that there’d be an empty room. Most of them are occupied, with couples (or more) doing exactly what I hope we’re about to do. Which was fuck each other.

Spencer slammed the door shut, and quickly locked it before pushing me against it. I looked up at him and giggled like a fucking kid in a candy store. Again, I couldn’t help it. 

Spencer was quiet, which led me to be quiet. The air in between us quickly grew hot and tense and thick. I really wanted this to move faster, but I wanted him to be the one in charge. I was willing to let this be slow and let him be in charge. So, when he grabbed both my wrists and held them above my head, I smiled so hard my cheeks began to hurt.

“Tell me what you want,” Spencer’s voice was low and deep as he moved close to me. There was little to no space between us. Which left little to the imagination, for me anyway. 

I looked up at him, with the biggest doe eyes I could muster, silently telling him that I wanted the most, in the entire world, was to be on my knees, with his hand tangled in my hair, and his cock down my throat, or to be fucked so hard that I won’t be able to sit properly for several days. But, I couldn’t be that blunt. You gotta play up to that moment before you get it. I’m sure in the end though, I’ll get both things.

I swallowed roughly, trying to think of what to say, because, like I said, I can’t just be blunt yet. So, when I opened my mouth and words just came out, I was pleasantly surprised with what was said. “You’re old enough to be my father, Professor,” I smiled at him as he pinned me against the door. He pressed his hips against mine to keep me against the surface. I could feel a large bulge against my inner thigh, causing me to shiver. “Does that mean I get to call you daddy,” I whispered as I looked up at him through my eyelashes. He is the one who said I could call him whatever I wanted… And he did just ask me what I wanted, and I guess I wanted to call him ‘Daddy’. There was no guessing about him.

Okay, he wasn't exactly old enough to be my father. But he was a lot older than me. Most 20-something-year-olds aren't sleeping with men 15 years older than them… and most 20-something-year-olds aren't sleeping with their professor… I just wanted an excuse to call him 'Daddy'. And he knew that too. So, if we gave each other an excuse for that to happen, then that was all I needed.

I dropped my head to my shoulder to allow him to attack the space on my neck. He dragged his nose across my jawbone before stilling. His lips were just over my neck. As his breathing got heavier, it tickled across my skin. 

“That does have a nice ring to it,” Spencer hummed as he dropped my hands and stepped away from me. I swallowed roughly as I stared at him. I missed having his body pressed against mine, and he knew that. 

I looked at him as I brought my hands to his belt. "I thought you said this wasn't appropriate, Daddy," I whispered as I quickly undid the belt buckle, without looking. I almost couldn’t move fast enough to unbutton and zip his pants. If he wanted me to stop, he would have stopped me by now. “Can I?” I looked up at him, a plea in my eyes.

"You've changed my mind," he muttered, watching me with such close intent, “God, please keep going,” he spoke like if I did stop now he’d probably die. I looked up at him as I slipped my hand into the waistband of his boxers. He hissed as my fingers brushed against his cock. A small smile grew on my lips. 

“Didn’t take much convincing,” I smiled as my fingers wrapped around him. A small groan fell from his lips as I looked up at him. When I pulled my hand away from him not even a moment later, he looked down at me with an alarmed expression on his face. I quickly spat on my palm before sticking my hand down his pants. “Do you have any idea how long I’ve wanted this?” I whispered as I slowly stroked up and down his length. I couldn’t believe it was actually happening. 

“I’ve wanted this since you stepped foot in my classroom,” his voice was low and gravely as he spoke. My breathing picked up a little bit as I looked up at him. 

Okay… Maybe he did know how long I’ve wanted this. Because I also wanted this the second I stepped into his lecture hall. I wanted his cock in my hands and his hand around my throat. It only took-what, five months for this? I’ll make it worth the wait. 

“Does that feel good,” I whispered, carefully picking up speed and adding the slightest bit of pressure in my grip. Spencer’s eyes fluttered shut as he swallowed roughly and nodded. I smiled before pulling my hand away from him, again. I slowly lowered to my knees and kept my eyes on his face. 

Spencer looked down at him as he gently pushed his fingers through my hair. His fingers gripping hard on my roots before pulling hard. I smiled before very slowly pulling down his slacks and boxers in one go. I was only a little bit intimidated by his size, but the excitement I felt went straight to my core. 

I took a deep breath and swallowed roughly before looking up at him. My mouth fell open, and my tongue stuck out, silently telling him that it was okay. Although I don’t really know why I was telling him that it was okay, we both knew what we wanted, and it was only going to take me doing one thing.

I made eye contact with him as I ran my tongue on the side of his cock. Our eye contact didn’t last long, mostly because he let out a moan and dropped his head back. I smiled as I licked across his tip. A sweet and salty taste was on my tongue. 

My jaw fell slack as I carefully took his length into my mouth. I closed my lips around him before slowly bobbing my head, with my tongue swirling around the underside of his cock. I wrapped a hand around what wouldn’t fit into my mouth. And wrapped my free arm around his leg for support.

The sounds of his moans and grunts filled the mostly quiet room. Music, although muffled through the walls and door, could still be heard from outside of our own world behind the door and four walls.

“You were right,” he struggled to speak through groans, “You aren’t as innocent as I thought,” Spencer's hand had a rough hold in my hair as he held me against him. His cock was penetrating my throat, and breathing was beginning to get difficult. My eyes grew wet and tears grew in the corners of my eyes. 

“You’re such a good girl,” he looked down at me as the tears started to roll down my cheeks. I wouldn’t be surprised if my makeup started smudging and I looked like an adolescent raccoon. “You look so pretty with my cock down your throat,” he struggled to let out a coo, before moving his hips closer to my face. 

Everything about this moment, his hand in my hair, the sounds he was making, the way he smelled, being here… Was intoxicating. I’d give anything to be in this moment again. And I’d give anything to get this moment sooner.

 My knees would hate me in the morning, I just know it. I could already sense the dreaded carpet burn before he even started. But, in all honesty, it’d be worth it. Walking into class tomorrow morning, with bruises and day-old wounds on my knees, just to see his expression.

As I began to pick up pace, the sounds Spencer was making started to become more urgent, easily telling me he was close. But, before he could finish, I pulled away from him, crashing into the wall to get away from his grasp. He looked down at me with a mild frustration on his face. I smiled before wiping my chin clean of spit. 

“I guess chivalry is dead. Whatever happened to ladies first?” I asked, my voice a rasp from how raw my throat was. I looked up at him, feeling a certain level of sass grow in my smile. Spencer quickly tucked himself back into his pants before grabbing my hand. 

“Come on, on your feet,” he muttered as he pulled me back up to a standing position. I nearly toppled over into him if he didn’t hold me upright. I looked up at him and smiled. 

“Bed… Now?” I whispered, my tone showing how urgent I was. It’s not that I wanted this over with, it's that I wanted everything to happen to me all at once, and I wanted it to last for a long time. 

Spencer nodded before cupping my face in his hands. He was harsh when he pressed his lips to mine, like his life depended on it, if he did kiss me now the world would end. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he started guiding me towards the bed. And when the edge of the bed hit the back of my legs, he pushed me back onto it. I quickly moved so my head was resting on the pillows. Spencer was quick to take his cardigan off and be over me. 

“You’re not going to fail me, are you,” I joked as he quickly started leaving wet, open-mouthed kisses on my neck. He lifted his head and looked down at me with confusion on his face. “If I’m a bad fuck,”

“If you ask that again, or bring up class while we’re doing this… Then yes,” he muttered as he looked at me. I laughed as I pushed my fingers through his hair. 

“Oh, shut up,” I laughed as I pulled him down to kiss him, again. One of his hands landed on top of my breast, carefully kneading it, causing me to moan into his mouth. 

His hand slowly drifted away from my chest. I pressed my head into the pillow and looked up at him with a smirk. He carefully dragged his fingers up from my chest to the base of my neck, causing me to let out a shaky gasp. I wanted fingers and a hand around my neck, carefully cutting off my airway just right. Suddenly, I never wanted something so badly in my life. Something dark flashed in his eyes as he looked down at me like he knew what I was about to say. 

“Do it… I fucking dare you,” I muttered, placing both my hands around his wrist. My nose twitched as I stared at him. “I said fucking do it,” I spat, pushing his hand down more onto my neck. My words slowly got cut off as the pressure in his hand and fingers tightened around my neck. A moan struggled to escape me, but did eventually fall from my lips. He seemed pretty happy with that.

“Is that good,” his voice was a growl. I looked at him and moaned.

“Harder,” I begged, my voice growing raspier the more I spoke. He smirked before allowing his grip to tighten. His other hand was still sitting on top of my hips, and I could tell where he wanted to put it. I’d be a dirty, rotten liar if I didn’t want his hand up my skirt. In fact, I’d love it if he did more than just his hand. 

Spencer swallowed roughly before finally sneaking a hand up my skirt and resting it on my underwear. My grip around his wrist got tighter as he pushed past my underwear and past my folds. My eyes fluttered closed as another moan was strangled in my throat. 

“You’re so wet,” he purred as he slowly moved a finger around my clit. I looked up at him, as I struggled to swallow roughly. A dark smirk grew on his lips as he watched me struggle for a moment. “Does that feel good,” he asked, mildly mocking me from earlier. His movements picked up speed just a little bit, and my body reacted, well tried to react. 

“Oh, you’re such a good girl,” he looked down at me. His pupils were so blown I could nearly see my reflection in them. “Another thing you were right about,” he whispered as he slipped a finger into my entrance, and curled it just right. My vision slowly blurred before my eyes rolled into the back of my head. Another moan struggled to escape my throat as Spencer added a second finger. 

My body was on autopilot as I lifted my hand and hit his wrist a few times, telling him that I desperately needed to breathe. When I reopened my eyes, I looked up at him a moment before he removed his hand from my neck. Worry and concern flashed in his eyes as I breathed. Air burned like fire in my lungs as I took a deep breath. As I exhaled a loud moan followed behind, easily telling Spencer and I that I had reached my first orgasm of the night. I just hope there will be more... 

“You did such a good job, Princess,” Spencer whispered as he looked down at me. With his free hand, he brushed the tears away from my cheeks. He carefully withdrew his hand from between my legs and held them up to his face. He looked at them for a moment before placing them in his mouth, sucking and licking them clean. I took a shaky breath and nodded. 

He very sloppily pressed his lips to mine, then on the corner of my lips, and down my jaw, and neck. With one quick movement, a loud rip filled the room, as he tore my shirt off my body. I looked up at him with shock in my eyes. To be fair, that shirt was flimsy, to begin with. I was more worried about leaving my chest so exposed as we left the party. 

“Oh, I’ll give you my sweater,” Spencer muttered before attacking my neck and then down to my collarbones, and over my breasts. I gasped as he wrapped his lips around a nipple.

“Mmm, Daddy,” I whimpered as I shifted under him. I brought my hands back up to his hair, tangling my fingers in the hairs on his neck. When he sensed that I was growing restless (even though he just started), he quickly left wet kisses down the rest of my body

“I like the way that sounds coming from your mouth,” he whispered once he was in between my legs. I looked down at him just as he looked up at me. “Good on your end for wearing such a short skirt,” he smiled before pressing his lips to my inner thigh. A shaky breath tumbled from my lips as I looked at him. “Makes for easier access,” he added before going higher up on my leg.

“You’re not going fast enough,” I whined as he just kept kissing, or licking, or rubbing my inner thighs. It was honestly getting annoying. I kind of felt bad for him. Considering I’ve already cum once, and I got him close but didn’t let him finish. 

“I’m not going fast enough?” Spencer looked up at me. I shot him a scowl as I shifted slightly on the bed. Spencer looked back down the apex of my legs before looping two fingers around the band of my underwear. As soon as I lifted my hips, he pulled my underwear off my body and chucked them to the ground beside the bed. “How’s this for fast enough,” he muttered, mostly to himself, before licking between my folds. A breath of air got caught in my lungs as my hands found their way to his hair, my fingers getting knotted up in his roots. 

“Mhm, Spencer,” I gasped, rolling my hips up at him. He hummed, sending vibrations straight to my core. My legs wrapped around him, my heels digging into his back as my own back arched. 

“Ohh, Daddy, please don’t stop,” I cried, pressing my head into the pillow beneath my head. My fingers pulled hard on his hair, pulling him closer to me. He hummed again as he pushed two fingers back into my entrance. My grip in his hair tightened, and I could feel my grip wanting to loosen. 

My breathing picked up as a familiar feeling grew in my stomach. And all I could say was his name, and the suddenly loved nickname I had for him. He seemed to appreciate my reaction too, because he worked faster. Messy and wet sounds, mixed with my breathy moans and calls of his name filled the room, and my end was near. 

“Fuck,” I shouted as I finally came undone. I could sense if I didn’t pull him away, he’d keep going, and going till I couldn’t take it anymore. And, honestly, that sounds great, but I think that’s for next time. I wanted him in me now. “Spencer, Spencer,” I cried as I tried to pull his head away, but failed so hard.

“Nuh huh,” he hummed, looking up at me. I took a deep breath and pressed my head into the pillow beneath me and threw an arm over my face. “Please, Spencer,” I cried as I bucked my hips at him, “Fuck me, please, fuck me, Daddy,” I moaned. He was going faster than before and was clearly trying to work me to the end faster too. It was hard to breathe, and speak because my words would just get stuck in my throat.  

Although, when I did cum, again, for the third time tonight, Spencer did move away from my legs. He knelt between them, wiping his chin with the back of his hand. My body was shaking lightly as I tried to come down from my high.

“Please,” I whispered, lifting a hand up, trying to reach for his tie. He looked down at me with a smile and raised an eyebrow.

“Please what?”

“Please, Daddy,” I furrowed my eyebrows as I spoke. I could feel my voice becoming a little whiney. Spencer moved so he was hovering over me, his fingers gently brushing hair away from my face.

“Tell me what you want, Princess,” he whispered cupping my face in his hand. I looked up at his face, admiring his lips, and eyes, and nose, and the way his lips had a sheen from when he licked them clean and whatever was leftover from when he was eating me out. 

“Please fuck me, Daddy,” I begged, begged. Spencer smiled before pressing his lips to mine for a moment. He sat up away from me to remove his sweater and shirt. My head was spinning from excitement, I didn’t even notice that he was totally undressed.

Spencer was back between my legs, looking down at me like I truly belonged right here. Or, like I was his to fuck with. Either way it was a good feeling. 

“Ready?” He asked, his voice so low that I could hardly hear it over the bass of the loud music. I rapidly nodded my head, worried my answer was the wrong one. But it wasn’t. I desperately wanted this. Needed. I needed this. 

Spencer hovered over me before putting an opened mouth kiss on my lips. I could hardly breathe as he rubbed the tip of his cock against my clit and entrance. I could feel a moan getting caught in the middle of my throat, my body not being about to handle anymore teasing. Until, he very slowly pushed into me.

“Oh, good girl,” he repeated. Those two words, constantly coming off his tongue. Making me feel good. The praise that I hadn’t heard in such a long time, that I longed for. Part of me wondered if he knew I wanted it. “Has someone not been taking care of you?” he asked, looking down at me. I stared at him, not trusting my own voice. My mind was too distracted with the way I felt, light and airy but at the same time full. So I shook my head.

“No, Daddy,” I whimpered and kept shaking my head. Spencer smiled before pressing his lips to mine. 

“Don’t worry, I’ve got you now. I’ll take care of you,” he mumbled before moving his hips. It took him a moment to get a perfect rhythm. He lips attached to different spots on my neck, leaving hickies in his wake.

“Spencer,” I whispered as I moved my head closer to my shoulder to let him have more space.

“You feel so good,” he grunted as he moved his hips so he was deeper in me, “You feel so good, and you’re all mine,” he pressed his forehead to mine as he wrapped his arms around my lower back, pulling me closer up to him. My breathing got deep, my chest heaving with each breath I took. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him down, closer to my face. 

“Oh, be quiet,” I whispered before putting my lips on his. He smiled before passing his tongue between my lips. A moan fell from my lips, which he seemed to enjoy… Considering it was probably just music to his ears. 

“I’ll only be quiet if you keep making those little noises,” he muttered against my lips. I opened my eyes and looked up at him. He smiled again as I knotted my fingers in the hair on the back of his head. 

“Faster,” I breathed out, keeping my eyes on him. Spencer laughed lightly as he picked up the speed. My hips bucked with his, meeting at the right points. “Please,” I whimpered as I threw my head back more into the pillow. He pulled his arm away from my back and brought his hand between our legs, where we met. 

“It’s okay, Little Girl,” Spencer whispered before pressing his lips to the side of my face. I let out a shaky breah and arched my body into his. I couldn’t believe how good I felt. I almost wasn’t sure if it was fair that my professor was better in bed than other men my age. He was more experienced, to be fair. “You can finish, it’s okay,” he kept his voice low. It almost sounded like he was giving me permission.

I nodded my head, breathing heavily through my nose. “Mmm, Spencer,” I moaned, loudy, as my walls fluttered around him and my release came. And a few moments later, Spencer thrusted deep into me with a grunt, filling me with his essence. His body collapsed on top of me whence he finished.

“Fuck,” I muttered, my fingers still tangled in his hair. My limbs were sore and shaking slightly from the rough movements. Spencer laughed lightly, agreeing with my statement. “We can’t sleep here,” I whispered, keeping my eyes on the ceiling above us. I wished we could just sleep here, mostly because I was exhausted after everything we did.

“I know,” Spencer replied as he slowly moved off and away from me. I looked up at him with wide eyes. “You’re messy now,” he muttered as he basically tumbled off the bed. I quickly sat up, just to make sure he was okay. Although I was happy he was okay, I quickly regretted moving as fast as I did. 

“Your sweater,” I mumbled, reaching out towards where his sweater was lying. He looked down at it before picking it up to hand to me. He also grabbed a fistful of tissues and moved to between my legs, again. “Just give me your boxers,” I looked at him as he wiped the insides of my thighs clean. He looked back up at me, still cleaning my legs. 

“I’ll give you a ride home,” he spoke as he tossed the dirty tissues to the trash. He grabbed his slacks and boxers, tossing me his boxers. I slipped them on under my skirt, and then slipped his sweater on. 

“I’d hope so,” I whispered as I stood up. My body wobbled for a second, nearly falling over, before I caught my balance. Spencer looked back at me, looking at how fucked I looked. I mean, I probably looked about the same as him. 

“I’d given you a ride home either way,” he said as he redressed. I looked at him with confusion on my face. Either way? So even if we hadn’t had sex, he would have given me a ride. I asked him and he said yes. So I would hope he’d given me a ride, even if we didn’t fuck.

Once we were both ready to leave this stupid party, that I didn’t even enjoy (well, I did, I was just in a different world), or was even invited to, we walked out. It was as easy as pie. And, since no one really knew either of us were here, I won’t be known as the girl who fucked the professor.

The drive home was quiet. Like, even quieter than the drive here. He didn’t even have the music playing. I wondered if it was my fault, if he was regretting what we had done. If I had known he’d be so regretful, I wouldn’t have wanted to fuck him. But, I guess its too late now. 

When I looked out the window, I realized we were parked outside my apartment building. I looked down at my attire and looked back at Spencer.

“Thanks… Thanks for the ride… And thanks for the sweater. I’ll be sure to give it back to you… Eventually,” I looked up at Spencer as I pulled the door open to leave.

“See you Thursday,” he nodded at me. I looked at him before slamming the door shut. I scoffed before turning to walk up to my home. I couldn’t want to sleep.

{***}{***}{***}

Two weeks. Two weeks since Spencer and I fucked. Okay, not too bad. I don’t regret it, and I’m not afraid to say that. However, I think he might be regretting it. Considering he’d been nothing but ignoring me since the night of the par-Well, I wouldn’t say ignoring me since then. He did fuck me in his office the following Thursday. But, it’s still been two weeks since he last said anything to me. Fuck, I’ve never been so mad.

“Good morning, Professor Reid,” I looked at him as I skipped into his lecture hall. I heard his words begin to greet me back, but fail when he saw what I was wearing. “Best get to my seat. Excited for today’s lesson,” I readjusted the cardigan that hung off my shoulders before turning to go to my seat. 

I could feel his eyes burning into the back of my skull as I walked away from him. Or, was he staring at my ass. Most likely my ass. It was my ass he was staring at. I was wearing a fairly short skirt, so that’s on me. But, I’d do anything to get his attention today. And it would appear I have gotten it. 

His lesson wasn’t actually anything important. It was just revision for the test coming up soon. But, it was obvious he had other things on his mind, and I was very clearly one of them. It was honestly a little distracting if I’m going to be honest.

So, I was happy when he called the end of class 5 minutes early. Although that excitement was gone the second he called my name to the front to talk. I looked at the ground as I stood by his desk, waiting for the very last person to leave so Spencer and I could have our moment alone.

“What are you doing wearing that?” Spencer asked as soon as it was just us. I tried to ignore the fact that he was trying to take the sweater off me, and made my shoulders drop.

“What? This old thing?” I asked, pulling the cardigan that he let me wear around my body. I looked back at him and smiled. He was not smiling. “You gave it to me,” I scoffed, letting him take it off me without a fight. I watched as he folded it over the back of the chair before turning to face me. 

“I gave it to you so your,” his words began to get jumbled up as he gestured to my boobs, “So you weren’t exposed in front of any-”

“So no one would see what belonged to you?” I asked, folding my arms over my chest. Spencer looked down at me, a flabbergasted look on his face. I smiled and cocked my head to my shoulder.

“I… I never said that,” Spencer shook his head.

“Yeah, but you thought it,” I scoffed and rolled my eyes. Spencer looked down at me. I could tell that he was trying to be the one in charge, kinda like how he was the other night. But it was so, so clear that he couldn’t be in charge. That he wouldn’t be in charge now. That this was just embarrassing to him. Maybe that’s just how our dynamic would work. Out in public, I was the loud one, the one who made everyone think that I was in charge in the bedroom. And, Spencer, in public, was the quiet, shy, nervous one, who was clearly submissive in bed. But in actuality, he was telling me what to do, when and when I can’t cum.

 “Why were you wearing that?” he asked again, his voice pulling me from my very dirty thoughts. I looked up at him and smiled.

“Because you were ignoring me! I needed to get your attention somehow! And then I remembered I still had that,” I smiled at him. I wished I still had his sweater on, because it was actually quite cozy and warm. The look he gave me made me drop my shoulders, suddenly feeling ashamed about the current situation. So, I stared at him, feeling annoyed. More annoyed than I have over the last two weeks. “Do you regret it?” I finally asked, not really knowing if he’d be mad with my question. 

“Pardon me?” He asked, raising an eyebrow as he looked at me. I shook my head and looked down at the ground. “It’s not that I regret it-”

“So you do,” I looked back up at him and dropped my shoulders again. Before Spencer got the chance to say anything, I cut him off, “Oh please, you loved shoving your tongue, and cock, down my throat,” I scoffed before looking at him. The expression on his face flinched slightly as he looked back at me from behind the desk. “I get to… I get to be your good, little girl, your princess for, what, a week? A day? 12 hours? Whenever the fuck you want... And I’m supposed to go back to normal life the next day? And… And pretend that nothing happened!” I stared at him and shook my head. Spencer looked over at the door and back at me. “Thinking it’ll never happen again!” I shouted. I didn’t mean to shout, honest. But I was starting to get angry. He made me feel something like I belonged to someone. And now I don’t feel like that. 

“Will you stop talking for a second,” he muttered before stepping away from me and his desk. He walked over to the door and shut it. I crossed my arms over my chest and watched as he walked back over to me. “I never said you had to pretend as if nothing happened. And I never said that I regret it,” he spoke in a harsh whisper. I looked at him with mild irritation on my face.

“It sure fucking felt like it,” I spat at him. 

“You’re all I think about… Christ, I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell you that. I never said you had to forget everything… Because I’ve been having a hard time forgetting it myself.” He looked up at me. I almost refused to look at him, but his voice was so soft that I had to look at him. “I never expected you to forget,” he added. 

“Then why are you acting like it didn’t happen,” I stared at him before swallowing roughly, “You made me feel like I was wanted, that I belonged somewhere, with someone,” I spoke as I stepped closer to him. It was only a little bit closer to him, not as much as I wanted. But he stepped closer to me, making it so we were the closest we had been all day, in one large step. "You remind me of home," I added in a whisper. Spencer smiled and cocked his head to his shoulder.

“You do belong somewhere,” he whispered, resting his hands on my shoulders. I looked up at him, feeling my heart pick up speed, and butterflies appear in my tummy. “And that somewhere is with me,” he brought at hand to my cheek, allowing his thumb to rest on my lower lip. I looked up at him before he pressed his lips to mine. 

I was honestly expecting him to say something else. I don’t know what. But I liked what he said, it made me feel really good. Like, I belonged with him, and nothing could change that.

taglist: @itsmyblogandillreblogifiwantto​, @thebluetint​

[hpalways]

Surprises || Childe

a/n: i swear i’ll get to the requests soon akjdhfjfj sorry for the wait dudes. 

BUT YEAHHHHHH ITS CHILDES BIRTHDAY I LOVE U DADDY HAVE A NICE ONE 

THROWING a surprise party for Childe was more difficult than one could imagine. He didn't fully admit it, but he was obviously hurt when no one wished him a happy birthday today. And while everyone went on to set the scene for when you would all surprise him, you were given the role to distract him. As the two of you strolled through the streets of Liyue Harbor, his sea blue eyes darted everywhere agitatedly. Repeatedly letting out a sigh, he combed his gloved hand through his ginger locks. You stifled a giggle at his discomfort, sensing that he was too prideful to outwardly question why his birthday wishes were practically nonexistent this year. 

He peered at you with disappointment, for he wished to hear those words from you more than anyone else. Wondering if his birthday was really that forgettable, he thought back to the day you asked when his birthday was. The two of you shared the dates and he remembered how elated he was on your birthday, buying gifts and spoiling you with his dirty earned mora. He could still see the grin that was stuck to your face the entire day. 

"Thanks for joining me on some errands. I'm almost done," you told him, smiling. Guilt continued to pour into your chest at the sight of him. 

He nodded and forced out a smile, coloring his face with his usual facade. "Anything for you, comrade," he chuckled, ruffling your hair in a habit. "I was bored anyway. It almost feels like there should be something important today, but I suppose there's truly nothing."

You wanted to burst out laughing. He was trying so hard to be discreet about it, but you could easily read behind the lines. "Oh? Nah. There's nothing important today."

"Nothing at all?" he responded, voice hollow. "That's strange. Are you sure?"

"I keep all my important dates on my calendar. It was blank for today."

His flingers curled around his shirt, gripping so tightly they shook. You were very organized, but his birthday wasn't on there. Did he mean nothing to you? Did he care for you more than you did him? He was beginning to feel idiotic -- foolish even. Falling silent as he followed you to the next stall, he watched you buy daily groceries, picking out the biggest fish in the pile and bright fruits from the baskets. He numbly carried the bags, groaning to himself. Maybe he should leave the city and hunt down some hilichurls, skewer them so he could release some of his pent up frustration. 

While he was lost in his head, too busy thinking about his bottled up emotions, you noticed Hu Tao in the distance, making wide signals. She was dramatic as per usual and you glared at her, urging her to hide within the shadows. Quickly turning away from the merchant, you were relieved to know that Childe had not detect anything suspicious. It was showtime. 

"Okay. One more stop," you informed him. 

"I... think I should to go," he responded. "I'll drop your bags back home."

Panic seeped into your expression, your eyes growing wide. Oh no -- this couldn't get any worse. You had to stop him before he could leave, because who knew where he would go next? He was such an unpredictable guy, free to roam wherever he liked with that reputation of his. "It's just one more place," you pointed out, knitting your brows together. "Come on, Childe. It will be really quick. Please?" You gave him the best puppy eyes and slipped a hand in his, squeezing it tightly to feel tingles erupt at the contact.

His head leveled slightly at the feeling of your hand, so he slowly nodded. "Fine. But I'll have to go right afterwards. I have some business to do with the Fatui."

That was a lie. The both of you knew that, but Childe didn't want to seem so lame in front of you. He already felt that enough today to last a lifetime.

You pulled him through the crowds of people lingering on the roads beside buildings, making a beeline to the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor. You ignored the furrow of his forehead when he saw the building looming ahead of him. Before he could voice out any inquiries, you pushed the dark oaken doors open, stepping into the darkness. He stayed by your side loyally, his muscles strained, ready to protect you from the weird atmosphere of the room. 

The curtains dropped, golden sunlight spilling through the windows to reveal the secret. "Happy birthday Childe!" the entire group called out. There stood in the room were dozens of people, including Teucer, Zhongli, Hu Tao, traveler, Paimon, and fellow Liyue citizens. Tables were set up in the Parlor, banners were hung up on the wall, and food were lined up, including a birthday cake. You turned to look at the red haired man, whose irises took it all in, his mouth parting openly. 

"Teucer. You're here!" he gasped, opening his arms wide when his little brother ran up to him. He hugged the boy tenderly, thanking everyone for the throwing the party. They all began to surround Childe, while others mingled and conversed, for the party was starting. 

You faded into the background, leaning against the cool wall and feeling grateful that it was a success. It was a lot of work, but with everyone contributing, it went very well, which was a little strange, considering you half expected it to fall apart.

Footsteps sounded, so you turned to the left to see him approaching you. He looked breathless, his cheeks rosy, and his dimples showing. "The party was your idea, wasn't it?" he stated, rather than in question form. 

Nodding silently, you took something out from your pockets. "Happy birthday, Childe."

You handed it to him and he took it with a softened expression. Unwrapping the gold, shiny wrapping of the small box, he opened it up to find a keychain in it, blue and twinkling. It was carved into a hydro vision, the details exactly aligned to the vision that sat on his torso. 

He kissed you then, crashing his lips upon yours. Hands faltering to the sides, you clenched your fingers around his forgotten present and returned the kiss. He tasted of seasalt and apples, as well as a scent that no doubt came from his homeland. His warmth brushed over to you, spreading through your system and to the tip of your fingers. Your cheeks burned at the contact and your chest pounded, but eventually, you pulled away, embarrassed by the chance of any onlookers.

"There are too many people here," you said, shaking your head, still feeling flustered by the way he looked at you -- as if you were the only thing he could see in this world. He was so unashamed, willing to do anything to grapple at the goal he sought after. He had always been like that. And always will be. 

He raised a brow, the corner of his lips curving up mischievously. "Are you suggesting we get out of here and find a vacant room?"

You hit his arm and he pouted, laughing at your reaction. "How rude," you sniffed. "I threw this entire party for you and you're already willing to ditch it. Don't think I'll forget how desperate you were this entire day."

Embarrassed, he averted his gaze from you, scratching his head with an awkward chuckle. "I didn't care for a party, [Y/N]. All I wanted was to hear a birthday wish from you. I was scared you forgot it."

"I would never forget it. Not in a million years."

His cheeks grew red and he seemed content at your answer. Swinging an arm around you, he lugged you towards the food. Then he rambled on and on about something regarding stuffing himself so he could slay a bunch of enemies. Sitting down at a table, he declared a rematch with traveler. On the other end of the table was Zhongli, going on long tangents to the poor victim who was forced to listen in. Hu Tao was scaring off another customer, suggesting deals like the sales woman she was and suddenly talking about the afterlife. 

Everyone here was so distinct and peculiar, but in a good way. Grateful to be surrounded by such people, you knew that not a day goes by without an adventure. 

"Hey Tuecer," you said to the boy beside you. He was in the middle of playing with Mr. Cyclops, making sound effects with his mouth. "How are you doing, little guy?"

"Hi [Y/N]!" he giggled. "I'm good. Mr. Cyclops is doing good too. He wants to say happy birthday to my big bro too!"

Childe returned from his conversation with traveler and Paimon, on time to ruffle his brother's head like he did with you earlier. "Thank you Mr. Cyclops," he cooed, petting the top of the toy endearingly. You laughed at the scene and he locked eyes with you. "Hey, don't hurt Mr. Cyclops' feelings like that. Right, Teucer?"

"Right," Teucer nodded somberly, growing real serious. 

Ugh, these brothers. You rolled your eyes and tossed food into your mouth. Childe's head abruptly dropped to your ear, his breath hovering upon your lobes. You shivered at his close proximity. "I love you, [Y/N]. You know that, right?" he whispered into your ear. 

Heart hammering for the millionth time this day, you paused with your chopsticks in the air. "I love you too, dumb birthday boy."

[fictionalreads]

9-1-1 Season 5 Episode 16

May

MAY IS A BOSS

Uh excuse you Claudette, May knows what she’s doing.

AND THEN SHE TOOK THE CREDIT!

Okay maybe the wrong way to go about it, but valid points May.

Why does she have it out for May?

Wait did they not get the alert?

They’re sweating. Meaning it’s getting hotter. Why would they not question what’s happening?

Ah shit. Claudette is panicking.

Albert

Awe Alberts moving out

Chim stop pushing him. He has to get there on his own. The pressure of your expectations isn’t helping.

FINALLY GET TO SEE ALBERT IN ACTION

Chimney is all worried but Albert is just like “I fell bro get over it.”

AND THEN HE FALLS THROUGH THE ROOF LIKE KEVIN BUT THIS TIME CHIMNEY SAVED HIS BROTHER

Awe man Albert’s quitting?

Eddie

Eddie becoming a true Californian.

EDDIE LIVING FOR THE DRAMA OF IT ALL

Why do I feel like Eddie’s comment was a a petty payback for Josh yelling at him a few episodes ago.

FIREFIGHTER DIAZ IS BACK IN ACTION Y’ALL

LMAO He may not be, but I feel like Eddie is being so petty this episode. “I feel like I’m missing something. Yeah family history.”

I KNEW HE WAS BEING PETTY WITH JOSH

The way he and Buck immediately took off running.

YES GOD HAS SPOKEN HE BELONGS WITH THE 118

Josh

Josh are you flirting? Horribly?

Was he actually installing things or was he up to no good?

Ah. He was up to no good. Wait. Maybe it was an accident. I can’t tell. I missed it. I wasn’t watching.

“He’s been waiting months to say that” YES HE HAS JOSH

Oh no it was an accident.

YAY JOSH IS GETTING A LOVE LIFE one that won’t beat him up and rob him to hold dispatch hostage.

Bobby

Bobby is a great bonus dad. But yeah stay back she gotta do it.

Awe. Him calling her his kid and then getting shy about it. He’s still unsure of his exact place in their lives.

Just cause he’s a firefighter doesn’t mean he’s not a dad first, his first thought was “has May been evacuated?”

HES PANICKING THINKING RANDOM FIREFIGHTER GIVE HIM A SECOND

This man is going in on this wall with a single minded focus.

Ah shit I forgot he was gonna be in trouble.

WAIT WHERES MAY I SWEAR THEY BOTH BETTER BE OKAY

Oh man my heart. He shielded her cause he couldn’t live through losing another kid

OH MAN BUCK WENT TO CHECK BOBBY OUT AND HE TOOK THE TIME TO REASSURE HIM THAT HE WAS OKAY

…May and Bobby are squeezing my heart this episode. “Wait he’s my dad!”

He’s as bad a patient as Buck. Like father like son.

Miscellaneous

NOOO TERRY

Damn it’s night already?

Oh shit. Taylor actually does feel some type of way about the Denato kiss.

Buck is in the back like “awe shit they’re talking.”

So they’re just gonna end like that. That’s rude.

[itsbeaconhillsbaby]

misty morning || tom holland x reader

a/n: hello! relatively new to the tom holland fandom, and I wrote this lil 3am blurb/fanfic/imagine thing, so please enjoy! be kind, I hope you like it - also if anyone wants to talk tom - I'd love to chat! 

word count: 1141 warning: one swear  summary: promises and early morning wake up calls = cute park walks 

It was a cold february morning in south west london, a light mist blanketed the city caressing the grass with its dewy touch, blowing its icy breath on the windows. You could feel a snuffly, wet nose squeezing it’s way between you and the cuddly furnace pressed up against your back. You give a quiet, soft laugh at the groan from your personal heater, as he shifts away from you, allowing you to turn around and come face to face with the very wet nose that rudely roused you from your cosy, dreamy sleep. “Good morning to you too, Tess.” You give her a scratch behind her ears as you lean back against the headboard, allowing her to potter about between the two of you, pawing at the duvet encouraging you to get out of your warm cocoon. “This is what happens when you promise her you’ll take her for a walk before your workout...” you murmur as Tom shoots you a sleepy grumble, “she’s very smart, she remembers these things.” Tess rolls over, tail thumping on the sheets as she lets you rub her belly. “I know I know, I’m getting up! But I’m not happy about it.” He mutters, tossing the sheets to the side as he gets up; stretching his arms up, committing to a huge yawn. You grin as he pats Tess’s head, receiving a lick on his palm in response and leans across the bed as he presses a soft kiss to your forehead and both cheeks, “Mornin’ love,” You close your eyes at the contact, relishing in the soft morning kisses - you may be biased, but it was forever the best start to your day. You heard him pad into the en-suite, getting himself ready for his early morning promise as you snuggled back down into the covers, Tess stretching out against your side - waiting patiently. //// You had succumbed back into the land of sleep when suddenly a light weight hits you. “Shit! What the hell” You rubbed your eyes, looking at the offending clothes that had been thrown your way. You glanced at the clock on the bedside table reading 5:45 (you’d drifted off for about 15 minutes before the second rude awakening of the day) and gazed back across at the man leaning against the bedroom doorframe, two flasks in his hands, dressed in his winter jacket and woolly hat, confused. “I forgot to say, I promised her you’d come too!” He dipped back out quickly, narrowly avoiding the pillow you’d pulled from beneath you and aimed straight at him. “THOMAS!” You rolled your eyes at his laugh as the pillow bounced off the wall, before heaving yourself out of the bed and into the t-shirt and leggings that had been thrown at you. Finishing up in the bathroom, you grabbed your phone and Tom’s pink hoodie before exiting the bedroom. He was leaning against the wall, holding out the coffee flask to you, “Forgive me?” “Get a move on holland,” you say once you engulf yourself in the oversized hoodie and take your first sip of coffee, before following your boyfriend down the hallway. //// Tess was running around in huge circles, the park completely empty except for the few squirrels that tess had already managed to scare away with her excitement. It was so early still, you knew half the city probably hadn’t even awoken yet - and whilst jealous over this fact - you were actually enjoying the peaceful outdoors that was sometimes quite rare to do when you dated who you dated. Tom threw Tessa’s ball again. You watched from the top of the picnic table as your goofy boyfriend raced his speed freak of a staffie for the ball, coming in last as Tessa grasped the ball in her teeth and set off for another set of zoomies around the cluster of trees. You sipped some more of your (slightly more lukewarm than hot) coffee before popping it back on the picnic table and rubbed your cold hands together. Tom hopped onto the seat and swung round, plopping down next to you on the tabletop gracefully before taking your cold hands in his and blowing some warm air into them before rubbing them between his own. You smiled, resting your head on his shoulder, as he tucked you tightly under his chin and pulled you into his side. “Mm, I love you,” you murmured into his neck, placing a couple soft kisses up his neck and along his chin before reaching his lips. “Even though I made you come a walk with me at 6 in the morning?” he joked, keeping one eye on the energetic staffie who had abandoned her ball and was now preoccupied with a big stick. You share one more kiss together before you pull away, Tom groaning as you did so. “And to think I almost forgot. You’re on a kissing ban for that stunt!” You pushed him back a little as you hop off the table, Tom mumbling “Oh hell no.” With your tiny head start, you take off across the field, Tom quick on your heels. Tess noticing the commotion, abandons her stick and barrels towards you both as Tom catches up behind you, embracing you from behind and whisking you up in the air. You squeal slightly as the cool air catches your breath, laughing as Tom attacks your face with kisses, Tess jumping up at both your feet trying to get in on the fun. “Okay, okay! Fine I forgive you!” You turn to him, stuffing your hands into his jacket pockets as he presses another soft cluster of kisses onto your forehead, “We should head back, if I’m late for training I’ll be in so much trouble.” You nod, sliding the leash off from around Tom’s neck where it was hanging and clipping it onto Tess’s harness instead, “Cmon Tess, let’s go.” Tom jogs back, grabbing the abandoned ball back from the tree before sprinting back down to the picnic bench and collecting the flasks that were left sitting before meeting you at the gates into the park. Tessa padded along beside you both as Tom entwined your free hand with his and nestled your clasped hands into his jacket pocket together, curling you into his side once again, the pair of you smiling and chatting about your plans for the rest of your day. “So that leaves time for a quick 3:30 nap right?” You ask, grinning up at him. “Are you kidding me?” You frown, your hopes of an afternoon snuggle thwarted. He catches your eye, winking “I’ve already pencilled it in.” You give his shoulder a playful nudge as the pair of you laugh, walking curled into each other back to your kingston flat. Tess’s little tail still wagging with excitement. 

[imatechbummerliketomholland]

I wish this trip never ends (sstbthw part 2) - h.h

Word count: 3768

Warning: angst, swear, mention of smoking

Pairing : harry holland

Request: no.

N/A: okay, i took me almost a whole month to write this but i'm kinda need to work on school too. Remember, english is not my first language, so be kind if you spot mistakes, i really tried my best. I asked you who the reader was supposed to end up with ... I'll let you figure it out but ... don't hate me for the end ... because after all ... it might not be the end. Don’t hesitate to tell me what you think of the fic! Love you all! xx

taglist : @angeliquekalampoka , @harryhollandsgirlfriend (the one and only harry holland's girlfriend to me)

ღღღ

previously - and you can find part 3

Restoring a relationship of trust and regaining the bond that you both had was particularly difficult. You had to learn to find your place in Harrison's life, but also in his relationship with Grace. You were roommates and friends, but it was complicated to plan meetings with Harrison's busy schedule. Between his job search after the cancellation of his Netflix series, his photo shoots, his dates with Grace, those with his family. It was getting harder and harder to find a moment to reunite with the two of you. It was without counting your schedule.

You were supposed to meet at noon for lunch at that restaurant Harrison told you about where he took his mother earlier this year, for Mother's Day. You felt uncomfortable going to such a place. It was very fancy; you had taken a look at the menu and you knew in advance that you would not be able to afford to split the bill. That was sometimes one of the downsides of being friends with Tom and Harrison. They sometimes forgot that their salary was significantly higher than yours. After all, they were still simple, good-natured guys, never saying no to a quick takeout meal or ordering pizza, drinking a beer at the local pub. And sometimes, they offered to go to prestigious places, not paying attention to money, wanting to please their friends or family.

Currently you were in your room. You were throwing countless of clothes across the room, trying to choose what you could wear to this lunch. Harry stopped dead when one of your dresses flew out of your room, right in front of his nose, blocking his way. You had left your door open and your spontaneity got the better of your best friend.

“Easy, Tiger. I had no idea your clothes had the capacity of Dr. Strange's cape.” He joked before coming into your bedroom.

You turned to find Harry leaning against your doorframe, a smirk encrusted on his face. You gave him an unamused frown and his smile widened. This wasn’t funny at all; you were stressed as hell. It’s not like you still had feelings for Harrison and try to impress him – to be honest, you still had feeling for your friend, but not as intense as before, you had drawn a definitive line on the possibility of a romantic relationship with him, which had helped you a lot. – But you didn’t want to be dressed down and looked like a clown.

“Come on Munchkin, it’s just a lunch. At worst, Harrison can still make it looks like he invited you out for charity, sort of “Make a Wish” event” Harry joked, in his significant humor.

“Go to hell, Robert. Don’t you have a pack bag to make, mister “I’m going to Spain to help my superstar brother to hold his tea while he’s filming”?”

“Rude… I’m a film director, now”

Not for that, you thought to yourself, but don't have the balls to tell your best friend. You didn't want to take this joke too far. You smiled at his cute pretending offended face. You pouted mockingly before biting your lip. You loved the dynamics of your relationship so much. Your humor, sarcasm, your outspokenness, that's what brought you together. Harry pulled you lightly from your closet with a comforting wink. He chose Yves Saint Laurent poppy red wool jersey flared pants that Tom gave you on your birthday. You smiled at his choice. You liked these pair of pants because they were sparkling with vitality, the color was flamboyant. Harry then gave you a satin pearl-colored shirt from Zara and you laughed at the drastic brand difference.

“Oh I see. A classy look but no more than £ 1000 that's pretty smart,” you joked.

The choice of your outfit once again proved the reality of hanging out with wealthy people. You were not poor; you could even be grateful for the life you had had. But it would never occur to you to give your friends clothes that were going over the miles and cents. To be honest, you wanted it. You wanted to live up to the gifts your friends sometimes gave you. But the truth seemed quite different: you had cried over the price of a used Rolex you wanted to give Tom for his birthday. Even having saved for 6 months, you could not afford such a gift.

“Shut up, don’t be so dramatic. Wear that necklace Harrison gave you for Christmas. I’m sure you’ll look fine”

“Thank you,Baz…I guess. ”

You kissed his cheek and then invited him out of your room so you could get ready. It didn't take you more than thirty minutes, time to put on the outfit your best friend had chosen and to put on light makeup. When you were finally ready, you walked to Tom's room. He had offered to take you to the restaurant where you were to join Harrison. But when you got to his ajar door, you could hear the soft sound of a slight snoring. You let out a chuckle before ordering an Uber. You knew he had spent almost a full month in Los Angeles and hadn't returned until early last week. You wanted to leave him as much as possible alone so that he could rest before his trip to Spain for the reshoots of his film Uncharted. Tom was a boy who loved being in touch with those close to him, but you also felt his need to recharge his batteries. That's why you preferred to let him sleep.

You went down to the kitchen to pour yourself a glass of water before leaving. When your Uber arrived, you left a note on the refrigerator to let the boys know you were safely gone. It was little everyday things that made you look normal that you enjoy. A post-it on the fridge, a table organizing household chores had been drawn up. Note to yourself; It was Harrison's turn to take care of the laundry.

☙♡❧

You had really hoped this was just a grotesque nightmare. That it wasn't real. He was going to arrive; he was just stuck into the traffic. Isn't it?

But you were there, waiting for over an hour and a half, without any news from your friend. Some people watched you with pity eyes, the others didn't give you any attention. You internally thank Harry for choosing your outfit. You didn't look like a lost kitten in this prestigious setting. It didn't prevent you from being ashamed right now. The waiter had urged you to order several times but you had told him that you were expecting someone, that he would arrive any minute. The last time, you didn't know if you were trying to convince him or yourself.

But it never happened. Harrison never came to your dinner. You were alone, sitting at a table, pathetically waiting for your friend to show up. It didn't look like him. He had never stand you up before. And not to improve this embarrassing moment, the waiter came to you again. This time, with a man in a suit. He was elegant, carried himself proud but diplomatic. They stopped at your table, a tight smile on their faces. No doubt the man in the suit was to be the manager.

"Miss, my employee told me that you seemed to have occupied this table for a while now. I am sorry to tell you that if you do not order a few things, you will have to leave the establishment"

You looked at him with misty eyes. You have never been so ashamed in your life. You just nod your head, not trusting your voice just yet. After taking a deep breath, you finally apologize to them before telling them that you are going to leave. The manager of the restaurant, out of politeness awkwardly apologizing for this uncomfortable situation.

You've finished the Dry Martini that you allowed yourself to, paying for it with whatever pride you have left. You pulled your cellphone out of your purse and decided to call one of the boys. After three rings, he picked up.

"Hey ... can you please pick me up?"

Your voice was shaky, you were so ashamed but it was less distressing than having to walk the Walk of Shame to your house or cry in an uber. You hung up and shared your location. You left the lobby, leaving the restaurant, standing in front of the entrance to the establishment. The air refreshed your cheeks burning with shame. Luckily it wasn't raining today. Which was pretty nice compared to that early summer you had had.

When you saw Harry's car pulled up in front of you, you slid into the passenger seat without a word. The curly redhead gave you a heartwarming smile but you definitely could see a spark of annoyance in his eyes. You sigh, resigned while shrugging your shoulders. It was obvious that your friendship with Harrison was still shaky.

"I'm sorry, love. He's a jerk about it."

Coincidentally, like a mitigating circumstance, your phone vibrated, receiving a notification from Harrison. You were chewing your lip with a sort of anguish and irritation, watching the message the blond had sent you.

"I'm sorry. So sorry. My agent called me for a pretty urgent casting briefing. She's detained me until now. Are you still okay for this dinner?"

You were angry. You were mature enough and had known the boys long enough to understand their obligations. The fact that Harrison had a lastminute meeting with his agent and missed your dinner wasn't a problem. The problem was, he made you wait for over an hour and a half before notifying you. You wanted him to call you to let you know, or a simple text just after he knew for the meeting. You typed a short answer, shorter than this was impossible. "No". You rested your head against the headrest, turning your gaze to your best friend.

"Hey, he's a Netflix star now" you replied to his last words.

Your voice cracked on the last syllables and your eyes filled with tears. You weren't usually that emotional but the anguish and shame really took over you. Harry noticed, unsure of how to instantly respond to your distress. He would have liked to stop on an emergency lane to take you in his arms but he already had 2 penalties to pay, respectively for speeding and prohibited parking ... a third fine would not be really welcome. He simply placed his hand on your thigh, drawing circles on your pants to comfort you. He simply moved his hand to shift gears and instantly rested it on your leg whenever he had the chance. This gesture soothed you, enjoying the touch, grateful to have someone as your best friend to mop up your pain.

☙♡❧

Arriving at the apartment, no sign of Harrison. When you walked in the kitchen, you saw Tom sitting at the counter, scrolling his phone. He looked up at you, not directly noticing your annoyed expression.

"Wow..you're ... gorgeous. I love these pants on you"

You smiled, a little amused by the compliment. Of course he loved the pants, it was a gift from him. But your smile didn’t reach your eyes. With a look on your expression then on the clock, the actor understood that something went wrong. Harry was right behind and still no trace of Harrison. It was suspicious. Tom gave you a worried look.

"Do I have to ask…Never mind, I’m still going to ask. How was lunch with Harrison?"

"I don't know, why don't you ask him? Oh wait... right, he didn't show up" you said sarcastically although you could hear the hurt in your voice.

Tom frowned, biting the inside of his lower lip in annoyance. Harrison was his best mate since forever and he knew him so well. It seemed strange from Harrison to not show up. The blond has told him he was happy to see you again and walking through this whole awkward “feeling situation” because he didn’t want to lose you. In a quick movement, he rose from his stool to walk around the counter. The next second, he took you in his comforting arms and you finally let yourself go under the sight of the two Holland brothers.

“It seems like you need a break of all this shit” Tom said while he ran his fingers through your hair.

You let a little laugh escape through your tears. He wasn't wrong. You really needed to get away from this whole situation for a moment. But how? Harry watched the scene unsure of what to do. You were his best friend and it seemed like the solace you found was never in his arms. He had tried in the car, however, as best he could. He walked over to the counter to make you both a cup of tea. It seems that as cliché as it sounds, tea comforts you, as the English person you used to be. As the redhead waited patiently for the water to boil, a flash of genius - according to him - crossed the glare of his eyes.

“Why doen't she come with us to Spain?”

His brother's words seemed to suit Tom, who released his hold on you. You opened your eyes wide, not sure of what you had just heard. Go to Spain, with them? Once again, you knew you were going to argue on this proposition. The idea was not bad, Spain seemed a rather pleasant country. But you had just graduated and had a student job to save as much as possible. However, you could not afford to leave for several days in Spain, at the last minute. Plus, what were you going to do while Tom was filming and Harry was assisting him? He was sure the film's production crew wasn't going to give you a pass because Tom had decided.

“Yeah! That’s it, you’re coming with us”

“Tom, I have a student job. I can’t just…decide to go to Spain.”

“You never take a leave, come on. It’s not negotiable”

You were looking at Harry for help but he just shrugged. After all, he was the one who had initiated the idea of ​​including you on the trip. You were trying to find a valid excuse to stay home. You really didn't want to impose yourself.

“I can’t afford that” you said, trying your best to convince him to quit the idea.

“I don’t care, it’s not even a problem. You coming to Spain with us.”

"Omg, does Z dominate you in bed to make you so bossy in life?"

Harry almost spitted his tea and laughed out loud while Tom gave you shocked eyes with pinky cheeks. You had always been sassy but hanging out with the boys had made you even more sassy than ever. How many times haven't you heard Tuwaine or Harry make fun of Harrison or Tom on the sex subject? Being a girl seemed to make you an untouchable character. The boys had never teased you about your relationships or your sexual partners. And while you've always had feelings for Harrison, you've had your own experiences. Anyway, you had just gone with the flow and Tom's brand-new romantic relationship with his co-star gave you the perfect opportunity.

“That's not the point.” stammered the actor.

Your smile widened, proud of your joke and the way Tom reacted. You heard Harry clear his throat. He had his phone in his hand and his own smile didn't bode well for you.

"The production is okay but it's at Tom's expense."

“You got to be kidding me…”

☙♡❧

You ended up in Spain with two of your best friends. You knew you had limited time before Tom had to fly back to Los Angeles for some Spider-man: No Way Home reshoots. So, you enjoyed as much as possible: accompanying the boys to the golf course - even though you weren't very involved in the sport -, spending time to visit touristic places when they were on set, talking with Rachael and other people from the set. You really enjoyed your trip.

On Wednesday evening you went out to a restaurant with Tom, Harry and two other friends/tom’s colleagues. You couldn't deny that it was fun. You had the opportunity to sunbathe a little while walking through the streets of Madrid. Spain was doing you good and not once did you think about your wobbly friendship with Harrison. You've just left the restaurant when a few fans politely show up to take pictures with Tom. You couldn't help but smile at the thought of how kind Tom had always taken in a few snaps when his fans approached him respectfully - and there weren't too many of them -. You sighed with pleasure before stepping away from the group. You leaned against a wall and took out the packet of cigarettes that Tom had asked you to keep in your clutch bag. Being an occasional smoker, he wouldn't blame you if you took one from him. You tilted your head back to admire the dark starry night when you felt a presence by your side. You narrowed your eyes in mischief as you looked sideways: Harry was there, his nose wrinkled from your cigarette. He didn't like it too much Silence filled your bubble despite the hubbub outside. You were in public and it was not surprising to meet travelers and Madrid residents mingling with the crowd to enjoy this pleasant evening.

"I wish this trip never ends." You finally said, breaking the silence.

Harry didn't know what to say to that. Instead, he was just looking at you. You were a little tanned, the Madrid sun had done wonders on you; your loose hair framed your face and the summer dress you had chosen for the restaurant looked great on you: It was a short red floral summer dress with a shingle collar. Light enough to keep you from suffocating but decent to wear on any casual occasion. You were beautiful, stunning. His heart exploded at the sight of you, so much that it hurt a few times.

"I wish I had been there for you more." he finally confessed

You finally turned your head towards him and shrug your shoulders, smiling shyly but sincerely.

“You were working, Baz”

“I meant…not only here in Spain. I’m sorry to have let you down recently”

You give him a confused look. He hadn't been a bad friend but he kept implying it. You just shook your head negatively to brush his words away. Harry had always been important to you. He had been the first to step towards you. It was him who introduced you to the rest of the gang. He had always been concerned about you.

The night you met, you immediately clicked up with him. And to be honest, for a moment, you thought he liked you that night. But he never took that step towards you and you never did either. You dreaded that if you kissed him, he would think you were interested in his notoriety by proxy. So you just acted like any reasonable person would - accept the status he gave you. And the second time he asked you to join him with his brother and his friends, you met Harrison and your heart exploded.

"I'm glad you brought me here"

“I'm happy you accepted to come.”

“I didn't really have the choice, Baz” you joked.

He laughed slightly. You weren't wrong, he and Tom had practically dragged you onto the plane, leaving you no choice to be by their side. But you could only thank them, especially Harry who had the idea. You took another hit on your cigarette before leaning back to check out where Tom was with his fans. He seemed to be talking with the girls and didn't seem overwhelmed. So, you didn't want to interrupt him and were just going to wait for him to finish. Harry played with his hands nervously, looking straight ahead and then at you. He seemed to be repeating this game for several seconds before finally asking the question that was in his mind.

“Have you heard from Harrison?” Harry asked quite casually

“He sent me several texts to apologize and wished me to have a good time in Madrid.”

“Do you still have feelings for him?”

You swallow hard before looking at him. There was an indecipherable glint in his eyes and you weren't sure what to make of it. You drew another puff from your cigarette, maybe that would save you from entering this conversation. But Harry's presence was all around you and you couldn't really escape. So you've decided to be honest.

“It’s complicated. I suppose so...”

“Mhmm”

“But my friendship with Haz is important, I don't want to lose him because of it.”

“Yeah, you can't imagine how well I understand you” he sighed

“What do you mean? Who’s the lucky girl..or guy ?”

Harry turned to you frankly and you did the same, stubbing out the half-smoked cigarette. You are well aware that the conversation was taking a more serious turn. He moistened his lips and walked over to you. Harry was full of things: he was full-loving, sarcastic, talented, daring, impertinent. But Harry was mostly awkward when it came to love. Not just an attraction, no, love with real feeling. Delicately, hesitantly, he reached out to your cheek, stroking it with the back of his fingers, cautiously. You were frozen, your eyes fixed on him admiring his audacity.

"She's the most beautiful girl I ever seen." he said with a small smile.

Harry walked over to you and your heart was pounding at breakneck speed. Harry had ... feelings for you? You were really confused. Since when had he developed his feelings? Why didn't he tell you about it? Why hadn't he tried anything so far? So, were you right from the start? Was there a tension between you since the beginning of your friendship, since your met? But above all, did you want him to take that step? Instinctively, your body responded. You parted your lips and closed your eyes. You enjoyed the warmth of his hand on your cheek and were waiting for the touch of his lips. But it never happened.

"Hey baz, y/n..we're going back to the hotel" Tom said, taking his eyes off his phone. "I…Mhmm sorry, did I interrupt something?"