#okay i'm going to turn this into a post actually

[linkspooky]

YUTA WAS ALWAYS SELFISH

I was originally going to make this post the week the big twist with Yuta in Gojo's body happened, because of the massive subversion that it was. It was the kind of twist that made you question if everything you ever knew about the character was wrong. Namely, Yuta one of the most empathic sorcerers we see in the series - the character who seems to lack the selfishness of the other sorcerers that make up jujutsu society. The kid who fights with the literal power of love.

Was Yuta a monster to begin with and we just didn't see?

So ignore the clickbaity tagline, Yuta is one of my favorite characters I'm not going to start calling him a terrible person. Rather that Yuta is dismissed as a soft kid or a wifeguy, when he's actually more cunning and cutthroat than anyone gives him credit for.

If a sorcerer is nothing more than a con-artist, then if the talent for trickery he displayed in the Sukuna fight is anything to go by Yuta is a true sorcerer down to his bones. Yuta turning Gojo's body into a puppet seems like a massive twist, and almost out of character for Yuta who was so devoted to Gojo.

His earlier fight in the culling game even seemed to hint that Yuta was too soft and he didn't truly have the attitude to fight someone like Ryomen Sukuna who was the embodiment of a calamity.

These panels seemed like a prophecy that Yuta was doomed to fall short against Sukuna. That he could never live up to his title as the next Satoru Gojo, because unlike Gojo and Sukuna who can stand on the top alone Yuta clings to his loved ones.

Sukuna got to where he is by rejecting love. Sukuna is Sukuna because he's never needed anyone to satisfy him. So how can Yuta who needs to be surrounded by his loved ones at all time to validate him and tell him it's okay for him to be alive even compete?

However, even in JJK zero Yuta's love is questioned on whether or not it's as selfless and "pure" as it seems. To begin with, Maki calls him out early on for attracting bullies by playing the victim a lot. He pretends to be a good and innocent person put upon by his circumstances and bullies when really he doesn't want to help himself. Instead of standing up to the bullies he's always let Rika protect him and then condemned her for being a monster. He's let Rika take the blame for all the destruction, even though Rika is HIS cursed technique, created by HIS emotions, and is protecting him.

Yuta doesn't make any attempt to try to learn to control Rika, or even work with her, he just shrivels away in fear.

"You act like a good person, but it feels fake..." Yuta has always adopted the facade of a good person. He seems soft, socially anxious and withdrawn, even after he gains confidence as a sorcerer those traits don't go away because they're a part of his outward persona. Jung divides the psyche into two parts, the persona a mask that faces the world the parts of yourself that come out in your social interaction with people and then there's the shadow your repressed personality.

Yuta's shadow is a literal monster that declares her love for him and then expresses that love by violently destroying everything around him.

Yes, Rika initially contained the soul of someone else but Rika the curse was created by his technique, her power corresponds to his emotions, she comes from his shadow, and even after the real Rika passes on the Shikigami RIKA still remains completely under Yuta's control. Rika is Yuta, the embodiment of his twisted definition of love that would curse his loved ones to keep them by his side forever because he can't live without them. All of Rika's insane possessiveness? That's Yuta's too. Rika's violent overprotectiveness? That's Yuta.

How poetic is it really that Yuta and Rika are so codependent that Yuta's shadow, the other half of his personality is literally RIKA. Yuta cannot exist without love, and without someone too love, he's so terrified of being alone that he cursed Rika and then turned her corpse into a puppet after death. He uses his loved one as a weapon to fight his enemies.

If you think about it for more than five minutes Yuta's cursed technique and Rika has some seriously messed up implications, but it's hard too because as messed up as Yuta's love is it's still genuine.

Love is a curse, but in 236 Nanami speculates that sometimes curses can save people too, just like how Jujutsu Sorcerers use curses to fight and protect others.

So Yuta's love is a screaming, raging, overprotective monster, but it's also what give shim the motivation to fight ofr others. Yuta's love is a curse, but curses can save people too.

Yuta on the other hand isn't aware of his own darker nature most of the time.

The big twist in Jujutsu kaisen Zero is that just as Maki accused him of from the beginning, Yuta was playing the victim all along. He acted like Rika cursed him with her dying breath, but Yuta was the one who cursed her because he couldn't bear to live without her.

However, even this apology is a bit telling of Yuta's self-centered nature. He immediately turns everything into his fault and starts beating himself up over it. He doesn't look at anyone else's perspectives or that other people had a role to play. He deliberately ignores Rika's feelings on the past few years, which Rika is quick to point out for him.

This scene has a parallel later where Yuta ultimately, only thinks about himself first and foremost. In spite of wanting so badly to be surrounded by his loved ones, it's more about him loving them, and less about their feelings for him.

After all he's completely willing to commit a double suicide with Rika to protect his friends, ignoring the fact Rika doesn't want him to pass on just yet, and Maki, Inumaki and Panda wouldn't want him to disappear either. This scene has a direct parallel a year later in the fight against Sukuna when Yuta gives up his body.

Maki almost breaks character from her usual culling game arcs stoicity to fight and argue with Yuta to stop him form doing this, and Rika who one year earlier told Yuta to live a long life so she wouldn't have to see him on the other side so soon is reduced to screaming and sobbing while holding his dead body.

Yuta loves people, or at least he feels an intense amount of love for people, but he can be as self-centered as the other sorcerers we see in the story. Geto even points this out right away, that Yuta is selfish, that he's seeking self-affirmation first and foremost. He needs other people's approval, their love, to feel like he deserves to exist. He'll do anything to earn that love, and once he has it he'll do anything to protect it but it's ultimately for himself.

It manifests in Yuta's technique itself copy, which first and foremost requires Yuta to consume parts of his loved ones that can never be healed if he wants to keep their copied technique. Yuta gets stronger by literally eating his loved ones. We have canon confirmation that Yuta fed part of Inumaki's severed arm to Rika.

Yuta's cursed technique is to emulate the strengths of all of his loved ones copying them and making them a part of his oqn technique, because Yuta will take any shape and form in order to be loved. It's also the perfect technique for fighting as a part of a group, because someone like Sukuna will naturally assume that Yuta's technique STEALS instead of COPYING so he'll forget that the original still retains their technique.

Yuta's not only selfish and has a very selfish, overprotective love for others, but it's those exact qualities that make him an effective sorcerer strong in the area that Gojo is the weakest. Group coordination.

Gojo is in his element when he's alone, but Yuta is so codependent that he literally cannot exist unless other people are looking at him. His strength comes from the things he copies and takes from his friend, and he turned his loved one into a puppet to fight others. Is it really that surprising that this kid would willingly use Gojo's body as a weapon after death when that's literally what he did to Rika.

How telling is it that like Yuta learned that Rika was cursed by him, went so far to exorcise her spirit, and then after finally letting go after her spirit passed on he made a second Shikigami named Rika a few months later made out of the small remnants of cursed energy that Rika left behind as a gift after passing on. The dude is not over Rika, he's like, Geto and Gojo levels of not over Rika.

Yuta's cursed technique being the literal weaponization of his love and his loved ones makes him the best character for group coordination in the entire series. Yuta even adopts apsects of hakari's persona when making his plans against Sukuna since he decides to gamble at several key points in the plan.

Several of the key moments in the fight are all Yuta's plans, with some collaboration from Angel. He makes several bets too like Hakari would. The first being going to finish Kenjaku by himself and using both Todo and Takaba in conjunction to trick him. The second is the bet that he'd be able to make it back in time to rejoin the fight in case Higuruma's plan fail.

It was Yuta who let his own domain barrier down on purpose to let Sukuna think he had the victory so he would let his guard down and make it easy for Maki to ambush him. Something that also required perfect coordination between Yuta and Maki working in tandem with one another.

Yuta set up Hana to do one large jacob's ladder when Sukuna least expected it because he knew Sukuna would forget that his technique is COPY and not steal. He also made the biggest bluff which was leading Sukuna to believe that he fed Rika his last finger.

These aren't just good bluffs, they require near perfect coordination with your allies and taking several chances on them. Nobara might not have even woken up so the last finger / resonance Gambit was perhaps the biggest gamble. Maki and Yuta had to coordinate with each other well so Maki would be there when Yuta dropped the barrier. Yuta needed Takaba a relatively new and inexperienced sorcerer to survive against the threat that was Kenjaku, and he needed all of his allies to stay alive while he was prioritizing Kenjaku.

These are all plans Satoru Gojo would never have been able to pull off, because Gojo only ever relies on himself. If Yuta and Hakari had intervened in the Gojo and Sukuna fight then he would not have been able to go all out, whereas Yuta REQUIRES people collaborating with him in order TO GO ALL OUT.

This is Yuta. This is his strength. Yuta is nothing without love, so he takes on the forms of the people he loves and takes things from the people he loves in order to gain the power to protect him. Yuta copies everything from the people he loves, so is it really that much of a surprise that he'd become a monster just like Gojo.

In some ways, Geto and Yuuta were the same. Geto was too sincere. To someone like him, the reality that the world of sorcerers presented to him was just too cruel. ’…that in a world like this, I couldn’t be truly happy from the bottom of my heart.’ To live for the purpose of being yourself. And for that goal, Geto could only continue to pursue his twisted dream, drowning himself in the curse that lies in the gap between ideal and reality.

Love is a weapon for Yuta. Just like his curse technique can take any form, so does Yuta's love, and so does Yuta himself. Love always wins, and in order to do so Yuta will take any shape necessary, no matter how twisted.

Love is the worst curse of them all, and Yuta will become the worst monster of them all if it means protecting his love ones.

[onlycosmere]

LURKER_GALORE: Can't you just picture Sanderson giving himself a good chuckle placing that dialogue in here?

Arcanniel: Oh definitely, especially considering that he said that the scene where Kaladin falls down the Tower trying to save Lirin was one of the first ones he imagined for Stormlight Archive. dalinar__:  That's crazy. I honestly don't understand how he's able to plant easter eggs and hints that won't come to fruition for years to come. It's like he already has the entire series in his head, he's just gotta write it down. That's absolutely wild.

Brandon Sanderson: Ones like this are a little easier than you might expect.

Foreshadowing happens in three general ways for me. There are the obvious planned scenes, like the death rattles or the clues to what was happening with Elhokar in book one. Those are put in at the actual outlining process, when I'm planning my work to make sure that the flow is correct and the pieces fit together.

The second type of foreshadowing is during revisions, as I turn up or down the dial on certain elements depending on what alpha/beta figure out and when--whether they find it satisfying or not, whether they are confused. This can generally only be done for what is coming to fruition for the given book, so for multi-book foreshadowing, I have to rely on the first and final type.

That final type, like this post's line, is me writing along and realizing off-the-cuff there's a place to insert a nugget that will improve re-reads. This is probably the largest batch of foreshadowing pieces, and it's not hard to insert them if you know where you are going in the series. HOWEVER, the challenge to them is REMEMBERING they're there. Because I put them in off-the-cuff, I don't often track these well. That can be a problem because I could very well forget and put the same kind of foreshadowing in several places, to the point that people will be like, "Okay, we get it. Something is going to happen with the roof and Kaladin and his dad."

I think these are what lead to some problems for long series, as you do this often enough with these little inserts, and readers pick up and start to assume "Well, this has been mentioned so much, it's too obvious, so it can't happen." I've tried to watch that closely with the Stormlight Archive as I watched how it influenced the progress of the Wheel of Time.

Anyway, glad you spotted this one, /u/LURKER_GALORE . It does give me a smile when these pop up on the subreddit.

[jealousmartini]

hi! i saw ur post where u mention age change with loa and could u talk more about that? cause i just turned 20, but i wanna be 17 again just so i can experience teenage things (i had depression and extreme social anxiety my whole teenagehood). i wanna feel young and do things right, apply everything i know now to this time in my life cause i can't help but feeling so old speacially since i have zero "firsts", like i'm 20 and no first crush or first kiss (ik it's not the end of the world, but i want back the expirences i was stolen from). i don't wanna over-explain myself nor trauma dump on u, but basically i just wanna start over yk? i know nothing is impossible to loa, truly know, but this one wish makss me insecure cause that will mean i was born in 2007 instead of 2004 and my old classmates werent really my classmates which is okay cause i never liked them but instead i had different ones that i don't know? i don't know if i'm making sense here, sorry to be asking u these things but ur the only person i've seen talking about age change so i'll be very thankful to anything u have to say to me. hope u have a good day :)

This ask unironically made me frown, like so hard, knowing that manifesters like you have to ask if starting over is okay because of the heavy misrepresentation and misunderstanding of manifesters and shifters who age change.

My love, OF COURSE you can. I cannot believe we have come to the point, on the interent as a whole, that people feel that they need to ask permission on what to do with THEIR LIVES, because the all high and mighty LOA police feel like they have the right to dictate what others should and shouldn't do with their lives.

And God forbid you don't obey them because then they'll throw every derogatory name, they'll diagnose you with every mental illness they want to insult you with (that they don't even understand), they'll assume that utmost worst about you, and take to their side of the community to shame you infront of them all. It's genuinely appalling.

Which is why I finally reminded myself a couple years ago that these people are not my mum. I have free will to do what I want with MY LIFE and whatever they say are nothing more than opinions that I can literally choose to listen to or to ignore. I refuse to fall into the trap of giving power, MY power away to outsiders and let them control me because real talk now, what are they actually going to do? At the end of the day they can cry, shout, rip their hair out on camera an tell me how insne I am for not having the same views as them, but none of that's stopping me from sleeping with their mum AND dad in another reality

Long story short, my answer is yes, you can start over and change the year you were born hun. You can do whatever you want because this is your call. Do what YOU want, not whatever the LOA police deems acceptable by their beliefs

[scarfacemarston]

Hey! I saw your post asking for Bucky requests so I have one:

I was thinking maybe a Bucky x Gender Neutral Reader where he asks his partner to shave his face and trim his hair for him? Nothing smutty or anything, just some nice fluff of Bucky being taken care of and treated gently by the person he loves 💜 thank you in advanced!!!!

Sorry this is so late, but I FINALLY did it. There is a reference to make up in the post, but I firmly believe that's a gender neutral thing.

You shut the door to the apartment, placing the keys in the key basket.

"Darling? I'm home. Are you here?" You called.

"Yeah, in here," Bucky called back. You took off your jacket, threw it on the couch, and followed his voice. There, you saw Bucky, his hands on the counter, gazing at himself in the mirror, looking contemplative.

Usually, you allowed Bucky to speak on his own time, but sometimes, you gently encouraged him to communicate his feelings.

"Penny for your thoughts?" You asked, slipping an arm around his waist, your head resting on his back.

Bucky let out the quietest of chuckles.

"Don't have any of those. Thoughts or pennies." He muttered. The air was thick with apprehension.

"Fine. I think it's time for a change. I'm tired of seeing him in the mirror. It's a constant reminder of those days and I'm tired of it. I know everyone wants me to move on. It's easier on them than having this…half human cyborg old man people think is on the verge of snapping."

You squeezed him tight.

"You're not  a half-human cyborg. Yes, you're old, but you're still human. And one of the strongest men I know." You sushed him.

Bucky grunted in response before turning to face you.

"I think it's time I cleaned up a bit. I won't ever be the old me. That man doesn't exist. He died in '45. That's who people want me to be, but it's not going to happen. I don't want to look exactly like tht. It feels like I'm being mocked. Maybe….something similar with a modern twist. I don't know. I used to know what suited me. I don't anymore." He sighed.

"Maybe I can help? I've cut my hair a few times and I know how to shave if you want that as well."

Bucky raised an eyebrow.

'You'd do that for me? Are you sure?"

"I wouldn't have offered if I wasn't, handsome. This is only if you want it, though. Don't do it for me, or for Steve or to make others feel a certain way."

"Right, I know. That's what I was saying…But I think I'm ready." Bucky confirmed, giving your hand a squeeze. You nodded as the both of you gathered the supplies needed in the bathroom.

You pulled a dining room chair in, set a washbasin to create a makeshift workstation, and grabbed hair supplies. Bucky gathered towels and shaving supplies before pulling out a small grooming kit. He smiled sheepishly.

"Yeah, I bought it myself. I've been trying to psyche myself up for a while, but I just haven't been able to do it." he shrugged.

"Stop worrying and come sit down. Relax. Everything will be okay. You're in control, Bucky. It's 100% you. If you only want a few centimeters off or even decide to change your mind, you can do that. This is your choice." You stressed.

"I know. Thank you." he muttered quietly as he sat down.

"So, shaving first or hair?" you asked as Bucky took a seat, resting his head back.

"Hm, I'm thinking a shave," he answered

"A trim?" you asked

"No, a full shave." he clarified.

You paused.

"Are you sure?" you asked.

"Yes. Absolutely. It will grow back in a few days if I hate it." he confirmed/

You nodded.

"Of course. That should actually make things a little easier.. I'm a raid I don't have those long razors that open up on a hinge."

"Well, no. I wouldn't expect you to," he laughed.

"This isn't 1850 either. But, hey, even if you did, I'd trust you with a knife against my throat anyway!" He said with a lopsided grin.

"True. Now, let me pamper you." You said playfully, patting his cheek. You turned on the warm water, wetting his face before placing shaving gel on his lower face and jaw and gently rubbing the product in as it sudded up. You smiled at Bucky as you leaned over and pecked his forehead.

"You ready, big guy?" You murmured.

"Baby, we're doing a haircut and a shave, not about to jump out of a window in a burning building," Bucky said, rolling his eyes.

You held up your hands in defense.

"Alright, alright, just making sure!" you said as you gently began to shave, going methodically slow, careful not to nick Bucky. It was far easier than you thought it would be. It was no different than shaving in most other places…well, except for a nick, it could be more serious here, but who's asking?

The actual shaving took little time. You admired your handy work. The shave took years off of Bucky's appearance. You grinned as you rinsed Bucky's chin and neck. 

"Looking good, handsome! Not that you didn't look handsome before," You amended.

"Now, your hair. I'll wash it first but for the cutting? That shouldn't take too long, but I want to be careful, " you said.

You started to hum absent-mindedly as you set to work. Bucky closed his eyes in bliss as you shampooed his hair, massaging the soap into it. Bucky grinned, sighing happily.

"You have magic fingers," he murmured with a happy groan. You spent extra time massaging his head, knowing that Bucky had frequent headaches. However, cutting his hair took longer than you expected, but Bucky was still. You checked on Bucky every few minutes before hearing Bucky sigh in annoyance.

"I'm fine! Just keep working!" Bucky finally chastised.

You smiled to yourself,

"Just checking, darling. I'll stop," you replied, quietly returning once more. Soon, you stopped, proud of your work. You withheld a gasp as you reached for the hair dryer. Bucky was always beautiful to you, regardless of his appearance, but this haircut was a different sort of beauty. You had studied the fashion, hair, and makeup of the 40s once you started to date him to plan a potential date night with materials from the era. That, and you had seen a few photos of Bucky's time before and during the war.

While he did not look identical to his time in the 1940s, there was still an element of the 1940s with a touch of modernity. Truth be told, you were quite proud of yourself. You couldn't wait to see how Bucky styled it.

Bucky's eyes widened as he saw your smile.

"Alirght, let me see, let me see, " he said, sitting up. He stared at his reflection, his expression blank, before he narrowed his eyes, the silence filling the room. You swallowed your anxiety.

Bucky ran his fingers through his hair before flitting his eyes to yours.

"It……..looks good." He finally answered. That didn't seem optimistic.

"I messed up, didn't I?" You said, trying to keep the defeat out of your voice.

"No. You didn't." He answered sharply before softening his features.

"It's just different, is all. I haven't seen me look like this since the early 90s when I was expected to complete an assassination  undercover." he explained.

You couldn't bring yourself to say anything except 'Oh.'

"But it still looks like my former self. It was risky for Hydra to do really, considering this is bringing back memories. Turns out, Hydra couldn't shut everything out."

"I'm sorry." You began.

"I promise you, I'm fine. I won't break. I told you that earlier, didn't I? No. I'm just surprised is all because I do see bits of who I was before, but it's still different enough that I'm not identical." Bucky explained. Bucky sighed before taking your chin into his hands.

"Don't worry about me. You did a wonderful job." He murmured as he kissed you gently.

"Besides, I saw your expression when you finished. Clearly you liked it, which makes it all worth it…and no, you're not making me be someone I don't want to be. You accept me as I am and that's the difference." He enunciated.

He got up, brushing the hair off of him.

"Uh, I'll get a broom. I insist." He offered. He grinned at you, making you lose your breath.

"Let's get dinner out. You can show me off." he winked.

"Sounds like a plan." You said, returning his grin.

[kangshxrtie]

ch. 24 ⤍ go to sleep

"yunjin!" you exclaimed quietly as you stepped out of the uber.

yunjin had come outside to greet you when you texted her that you were down the street, wanting to avoid waking everyone in the house by ringing the doorbell.

"y/n!" she rushed over, wrapping you in a warm hug.

"i'm gonna be honest, i didn't think you would actually come," yunjin said once you both broke apart.

you smiled, shrugging a little. "i almost didn't, but then i thought, why stay home and do nothing when i could hang out with you?"

"well, i'm glad you did!" yunjin beamed, linking her arm with yours as you both walked toward the house. "let's go inside!"

once inside, yunjin kicked off her shoes and padded over to the couch, motioning for you to join her. you slipped off your shoes and set your bag on the floor before flopping down next to her.

"so, what's the plan for tonight?" yunjin asked, grabbing a blanket and wrapping it around her shoulders.

"i don't know; this is your house," you shrugged playfully.

"movie?" yunjin suggested.

"yeah, i did that the last time i was here too," you chuckled.

yunjin looked confused for a second but then her face lit up with realization. "i forgot kazuha snuck you in here before!"

"and now you're sneaking me in. i really am working my way up le sserafim," you joked, leaning back against the couch.

"stop!" yunjin laughed, shaking her head at your comment.

as the laughter faded, yunjin's expression turned thoughtful. "honestly, though, it's nice to have you here. we've never really hung out alone before."

you nodded. "yeah, it's nice."

yunjin smiled, her eyes softening. "me too. but what do you want to watch?"

you thought about it for a second. "how about a classic rom-com? something light and funny?"

"i was hoping you would say that!" yunjin agreed, reaching over to grab the remote and scrolling through the streaming service.

she went into the kitchen to grab some snacks and drinks, returning with a spread that made your mouth water. after setting everything up on the coffee table, she flopped back onto the couch and started the movie.

as the opening credits rolled, you sank into the cushions, feeling completely at ease. you exchanged glances and playful comments throughout the film, laughter echoing through the cozy living room.

after watching a specific scene and with some drinks in both of your systems, yunjin turned to you, her expression bright. "we should recreate this scene! i feel like we would totally fuck up the dance."

you burst out laughing. "i'd be down!"

yunjin giggled, her eyes sparkling with mischief. "i think we can learn this tonight."

"can we post it?" you asked.

"fuck yeah!" yunjin agreed.

and that's how you two ended up recording a dance video that you'd definitely regret come morning—or when either one of you sobered up just a little bit.

you both cleared a little space in the living room, giggling and bumping into each other as you set up the phone to record. yunjin hit play, and as the music started, you both attempted to follow the choreography.

"wait, wait! i'm totally lost already!" you exclaimed, laughing so hard you could barely stand.

"just follow my lead!" yunjin called back. "i promise i'll make it look good!"

you both started again, determined to get at least one solid take. but every time the song hit a particularly catchy beat and you'd make eye contact with yunjin, you couldn't help but break into laughter, causing you to forget the steps entirely.

"okay, okay, focus this time!" yunjin said, trying to catch her breath. "let's do it on three. one... two... three!"

the music started, and this time, you actually managed to keep up for a few counts. but as the chorus hit, you both went wild, completely losing it again.

"why are we so bad at this?!" you said between laughs.

"i think we're doing great!" yunjin insisted, not able to stop hearslf from laughing. "just imagine how funny this is going to be later!"

after what felt like countless attempts, you finally managed to get a somewhat decent take, even if you both did look stupid as fuck in it. yunjin stopped the recording and flopped back onto the couch, breathless.

"i knew we would fuck that up," she said, collapsing dramatically onto the cushions.

"definitely the best dancers," you joked, downing the rest of your drink.

"seriously, though," yunjin said after a few moments of silence, her tone shifting a bit, "thanks for coming over. i really needed this."

you turned to her, appreciating the sincerity in her voice. "me too. i always have a good time with you."

she smiled softly, and you couldn't help but feel grateful for this unexpected evening together.

after the movie wrapped up, you both tackled the mess of empty drink containers and snack wrappers, laughing as you raced to clean up. but as the drinks faded off, you started to feel the weight of exhaustion tugging at you. you figured you'd just sleep on the couch, but yunjin wouldn't let you.

"no way you're sleeping on the couch," she insisted, giving you a pointed look. "you're coming to my bed."

you opened your mouth to protest, but she was already pulling you toward her room. once there, she placed a pillow between you two and declared it a "lesbian prevention pillow."

you burst out laughing at her ridiculousness. "seriously, yunjin"

"can't have kazuha getting jealous," she teased, winking.

you couldn't stop smiling as you settled into her bed, the pillow a silly barrier between you. the comfort of the sheets made it hard to resist the pull of sleep.

"goodnight, yunjin," you said, turning to face her.

"goodnight, y/n. sweet dreams!" she replied.

with the gentle sound of her breathing beside you, you closed your eyes, feeling safe and content. you drifted off to sleep with a smile on your face.

the next morning, you were sitting in the le sserafim living room, waiting for yunjin to wake up, chatting with your manager about brand deals and new projects you were working on. you had just sent your last message when kazuha crept up behind you.

"y/n?" she said, causing you to jump in your seat.

"hi, zuha," you greeted her, a smile spreading across your face.

"what are you doing here? are you here for me?" she asked, her expression full of confusion as she pointed to herself.

"i hung out with yunjin last night, so i spent the night here. just waiting for her to wake up now," you explained.

kazuha pouted, crossing her arms. "i told you to go to sleep last night! and not only did you ignore that, but you hung out with my roommate."

"jealous?" you teased.

"of course i am," she said.

"don't be. we just hung out as friends," you reassured her, chuckling softly. "but what are you doing up this early?"

"i told you, i wake up early," kazuha replied, plopping down next to you. "what are you doing, though?"

"just talking to my manager about new projects and stuff," you told her, turning to face her.

"oooh, any spoilers?" kazuha asked, her eyes lighting up with curiosity.

"for you?" you thought for a moment. "maybe... but only if they go through."

"okay, i hope it happens! you deserve it," kazuha said, her tone earnest.

"thank you," you replied, giving her an appreciative smile.

just then, you felt the tips of kazuha's fingertips slowly trail up your arm. your heart sped up as her fingers inched closer to your face. she reached the lower part of your cheek and cupped it, making your breath hitch.

the two of you were close enough that you could feel kazuha's breath, the space between you charged with a warmth that made your skin tingle.

"zuha..." you began to say, but before you could finish, kazuha closed the distance with a soft kiss. you wasted no time kissing her back, every sensation heightened.

kazuha backed you up until the back of your legs hit the bed. you slowly sat down, letting her climb into your lap, her arm snaking around your neck as she did. you instinctively moved your hand to her hips, pulling her closer as you both continued to kiss.

soon enough, you were tugging kazuha's sweater over her head, your hands exploring her bare sides. she let out a soft moan at your touch. you moved your lips down to her jawline, and you continued down to her collarbone, placing several gentle hickeys in that area. kazuha gasped softly, her head tilting back in delight, wanting to feel your lips on hers again. she pulled you back in for another kiss, your tongues dancing together in a very heated kiss.

but before you could go any further, you were rudely jolted awake by yunjin yelling at you to wake up.

"what do you want?" you mumbled, your voice still heavy with sleep as you barely opened your eyes.

"sakura is making breakfast for us, and you need to wake up so we can all eat together," yunjin replied.

you groaned, making no motion to get up. the only thing on your mind was that dream you just had—a particularly vivid one about kazuha. a smile crept onto your face as you replayed the scenes in your head.

you just wanted to make that dream a reality.

but that felt too far-fetched; you two had only met a couple of weeks ago. sure, there had been some playful flirting, and you'd even been on a date, but that was just for a bit... right?

of course, it had to. or that's what you tried to tell yourself. you couldn't help but fall for someone who was incredibly pretty, sweet, funny, and just all-around a good person. you could fall for her, but not kazuha. you doubted she could even see you that way.

"ma'am," yunjin snapped you out of your thoughts. "are you gonna get up?"

"sorry, i'm just trying to recover from this dream i had," you said, shaking your head to clear your mind.

it didn't matter; it was just a dream, and that's all it would ever be.

"oh, what kind of dream was it? was it a bad one or something?" yunjin asked, noticing the dazed look on your face.

"oh no! definitely not!" you exclaimed, shaking your head. "it was actually a really good dream."

you tried not to sound too excited, but that clearly didn't work.

"wait... was it—" yunjin paused, trying to stifle a laugh. "did i wake you up from a sex dream?"

"shut up!" you said, grabbing the pillow from under your neck and tossing it at her as she burst into laughter.

"who was it?" yunjin immediately asked once she calmed down.

"none of your business," you said, covering your face with your hands.

"come on, tell me, please," she pleaded, moving to sit on the edge of the bed.

"i can't tell you. you might tell them," you mumbled, avoiding eye contact with her.

"i promise i won't," yunjin said, her tone serious.

finally, you turned to look her in the eye. "it was kazuha."

"oh my god," yunjin said, genuinely shocked.

"i know! i'm shocked too! it was so random; it's never happened before!" you added quickly.

"so i was onto something that one day," yunjin said, unable to hide her grin.

"shut up. it was just one dream," you groaned.

"but you had to think about her for that dream to even happen," yunjin countered.

"true," you admitted, trying to avoid eye contact again. you really didn't want to discuss this.

"well, i would love to talk more about this, but breakfast is ready," yunjin said, checking her phone after reading a message from the group chat.

"thank god, 'cause i didn't want to talk about it anymore," you said, standing up and heading to the bathroom to freshen up before making your way to the kitchen.

as you entered, yunjin noticed how you tensed up whenever kazuha came near.

quickly, yunjin took the seat next to you before kazuha could. "sorry, zuha. she's my guest right now."

"you know i could just sit on the other side, right?" kazuha said with a confused expression on her face as she walked around to the left side of you.

"yeah, obviously," yunjin nodded.

you tried to focus on your plate, but kazuha's presence sent your heart racing again, thoughts of the dream creeping back in. once everyone was settled at the kitchen table, all your nerves went away from the comfortable vibe. 

"i saw the video you posted last night!" eunchae said, trying to contain her laughter as she pulled out her phone. the rest of the table leaned in to watch.

yunjin and you exchanged quick glances, suddenly remembering the dance session you'd filmed. "oh gosh, that!" yunjin laughed, "i totally forgot about it!"

"what were we thinking?" you chimed in, shaking your head to hide your embarrassment. "we looked so dumb!"

chaewon raised an eyebrow, clearly entertained. "i thought it was great! like, who knew you could both be so bad?"

"yeah, that was hilarious!" sakura added, chuckling. "when's the next yunjin-y/n dance collab happening?"

kazuha sat beside you, her smile teasing. "having regrets now?"

you shrugged, feeling the warmth of her gaze. "we really thought we were fucking it up. we were not."

as the conversation flowed, you got lost in the playful banter, especially when kazuha leaned in a little closer, making your heart race. at one point, as you both reached for the last piece of bacon at the same time, your hands brushed against each other. you both paused, and suddenly, a weird tension filled the space between you. 

kazuha smiled shyly, and before you knew it, you found yourself intertwining your fingers with hers under the table. the warmth of her hand made your heart flutter, and you tried to focus on what everyone else was saying.

"you should join us for breakfast more often," chaewon said, breaking the moment, "and stop sneaking in at night like we don't know!"

"it's not my fault these girls only invite me after hours!" you shot back jokingly.

"but definitely," you agreed, giving kazuha's hand a gentle squeeze, your heart racing a little more.

yunjin caught sight of the two of you, a knowing smirk on her face, but she held her tongue for now, letting you two have your moment.

you were planning to head home after breakfast since yunjin had something she needed to film. but then kazuha invited you to hang out in her room, and honestly, how could you say no? yunjin practically pushed you towards kazuha, eager for you to go with her.

now you were sitting on the edge of kazuha's bed, feeling a mix of nerves and excitement as she laid down at the foot of the bed right by you. if you laid down too, you'd be face to face.

"you know, i'm kinda jealous that you snuck in with yunjin last night," kazuha admitted, breaking the silence. that felt kinda familiar...

"she was the only one who wanted to hang out with me," you replied, trying to keep it light.

"i told you to go to sleep," kazuha said. that might've been the exact words she said during your dream.

"i tried, but i couldn't," you admitted.

"will you spend the night with me tonight then?" she asked, her eyes sparkling with hope.

"i'd have to see if i have anything scheduled," you told her, keeping it casual.

"look now then!" kazuha gestured, handing you your phone that was conveniently near her.

you took your phone, trying to ignore how your hand was shaking. unlocking it, you checked your schedule and, of course, it was completely clear. because why wouldn't it be on a random saturday?

"i have nothing," you said, setting your phone back down.

"perfect! you can stay here then," kazuha said, her smile widening.

"yeah," you mumbled.

"you can get comfortable, you know," kazuha teased. "i give you permission to lay on my bed."

"oh, yeah." you lay down on your side, feet dangling off the bed.

"yeah, i like this better," she said, settling into a more relaxed position.

you both stayed like that for a while, the tv playing some random show in the background. you tried to act like you were paying attention, but all you could focus on was how close kazuha was and how unreal it felt to be on her bed. she occasionally glanced over at you, and each time, your heart did a little flip.

and you don't know how the next part happened but eventually, you two were cuddling on her bed. it just happened so naturally at one point.

you heard kazuha shift, her hand grazing the side of your face. her fingers traced over your cheeks and jaw, stopping at your chin before she leaned in and kissed you.

you grabbed the front of her shirt, pulling her closer, craving more of her warmth.

kazuha moved over you, one knee slipping between your thighs. one hand held herself up while the other cradled your cheek, and every touch felt electric. her kisses were heated, and every little whine when you pulled apart just made you want more. but then everything paused, a moment of stillness when her hand left your neck and rested at the top of your shirt.

she pulled away, lips barely brushing against yours, and you could feel the heat radiating between you.

kazuha shifted to straddle you, fingers grazing over your skin, and suddenly, you had to pull away. "wait? is this real?"

"of course it is," kazuha giggled, clearly confused.

you pinched yourself just to make sure. it felt too good to be true like this was another dream. but nope, this was real, and it was happening.

you blinked at her, still trying to wrap your head around everything. "so it isn't a dream this time?"

kazuha raised an eyebrow. "this time?"

"don't worry about it," you waved it off, not wanting to get into it.

"okay..." she seemed curious but stopped herself. "so we're good?"

"yeah, i just needed to clarify that for myself," you said, feeling a bit more at ease.

"good." her fingers traced over your skin, sending shivers down your spine. "i was kinda worried you'd think i was joking or something."

"why would i think that?" you shook your head, your heart racing as her gaze locked onto yours.

kazuha giggled again, that sound making everything feel surreal. "i don't know. i wasn't sure if you were serious about our... whatever this is."

"whatever this is," you echoed, your pulse quickening. "i've been questioning your feelings for a while, and now i finally know."

she leaned in closer, and you could feel the warmth radiating off her. "so, what do you want to do now?" kazuha asked, her voice softening.

"i mean..." you hesitated, your mind racing. "i didn't expect to end up here, you know?"

kazuha smirked, clearly enjoying your flustered state. "yeah, me neither. but now that we are... i think we should just enjoy it."

"right, enjoy it," you repeated, feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness.

still straddling you, kazuha leaned down, brushing her lips against yours once more, slow and teasing. you kissed her back, letting the moment sink in. every touch felt electric, every breath a little more urgent.

as you pulled away, you couldn't help but grin. "so, this is how it is, huh?"

"yup," kazuha said, her cheeks flushed. "i'd like to do this more often and see where it could go—maybe even become something more?"

"maybe even something more," you confirmed, your heart racing at the thought.

ALL CHAPTERS !!! | NEXT CH !!!

[witchofsparkles]

Vampire Ghost and hunter Soap fic I wrote a while ago. I'm posting the full fic down below, it's also on AO3. You can check the tags first on AO3 if you like.

Soap aimed his crossbow for the deer bowed its head. It was oblivious to the human and the bow in his hand, didn't realize the fate that was on the way to claim its reward.

Every living thing was a fuel to the another. The energy never disappears but it changes. The deer's life was going to be the human's. There was a circle to complete. The circle of life.

But when Soap released the trigger and waited for the deer to shake with the arrow's force, it went into something taller and slender. Something more human. Soap watched the deer to run away into the depths of the forest and slowly walked to the prey. It was a human. At least his body was, Soap couldn't see the face of him because of the skull mask covering most of it. He squated next to him to check his pulse. Yes, Soap was a hunter and a killer if it came to it, but he wasn't out to kill innocent people. If he didn't see it necessary to his survival, every breath was God's to take.

Soap reached for the man's neck, to see if he is alive and thought he faced the death itself. The man reacted with the speed of light and Soap found his neck between the man's hand. The pulse he wanted to feel was the man's, not his own.

"Hey, calm down. It was an accident, are you okay?" Soap eyed the arrow's entry point and saw it was just under his shoulder. It shouldn't be life threatening. The man was still breathing harshly like a caged animal, so Soap put his hands on the man's. He hoped to calm him down, but the hand squeezed his neck more. "You're going to kill me." Soap managed to whisper through his clenched jaw but he started to see the stars. "I can't breath."

That brought the man's senses back and he relaxed his hand around Soap. Then leaned back to the tree behind him, kept watching Soap who was struggling to breath between coughing fits. "I was going after the deer. What were you doing there?"

Soap stared at the injured man and waited for an answer that seemed like would never come. But he spoke, with a powerless but deep voice. It was almost like he was using his all strength for a couple words. Soap didn't know who was in a worse condition: Soap who just got choked or the man who got shot with an arrow. "Going after the deer."

Soap sat down with a grunt, face to face with the man. After a careful and long watch, Soap pointed to the arrow on the man's shoulder. "Do you want me to take it out?"

The man didn't answer.

"You were going after the deer too? I don't see any weapon. You would catch it with what? Hopes and dreams?" That granted Soap a stare. He could imagine the man was raising an eyebrow. But he didn't answer, again.

"Do you have anyone at home that can cook and nurse?" The man's eyes met with Soap's and they stayed like that under the setting sun for some time. Soap couldn't see the man's eyes, they were in the shadow under the skull mask but he could see his mouth which had scars around. Soap found it sad, for some reason. It looked like the man never smiled in his life. That made him come to a decision and Soap raised to his feet. Then under the masked man's questioning eyes, he extended his hand. "Come. Let's get that wound cleaned up."

The man followed him after a brief moment, Soap guessed he was weighing his choices and walked especially slower. But when he heard the silent footsteps, Soap picked the conversation from where he left. "So. What's your name?" That stretched the silence, rather than putting a stop to it. Soap turned his head back to see the man. "I'm Soap. It's John, actually but people call me Soap. I'm taking Tarzan home, I think I deserve a name."

The man was holding the arrow stable with his hand while following Soap down the hill and he didn't raise his eyes when answering. "Ghost." Soap nodded to himself as if it was the most satisfying name he heard and Ghost frowned behing him. If he knew why Ghost was given that name, he wouldn't be looking so carefree.

They came to Soap's house, which was more like a hut than a house. There were only two rooms inside and they were small. Soap's head was just under the door but Ghost had to bend slightly to protect his head. Soap left Ghost in the room with a couch, a small table and two chairs. On his right were two kitchen cabinets with a sink and a stove. Enough things for a man who lives alone, Ghost thought. When Soap returned to the room with gauzes and medicines, Ghost went to the couch without giving Soap time to say anything. If he wanted to get the arrow out, who was he to stop him? But Ghost didn't know how to explain that he stopped bleeding long ago and the only thing preventing the wound from closing was the arrowhead still buried into his flesh.

And yet, Soap didn't face any opposition when he held the shirt to cut it away. The white shirt was wet with blood and Soap expected to see an injury under it, but the under the dried blood was just an arrow. Soap grabbed the arrow with his right hand and put his left on Ghost's chest to stabilize himself. The injury that stopped bleeding was in the vicinity of things he could maybe explain to himself, but not feeling any heartbeat under his palm was not. While pulling the arrow out with force, Soap did everything he could to not start shaking like leaf under Ghost's gaze and the heart that wasn't beating. And the worst, he invited him in.

Soap looked at the arrow in his hand. Ghost didn't make any sound when Soap was forcing the arrow out. His hand was aching from gripping it too tight but Ghost didn't make any sound.

Why would he, if he wasn't a human?

Soap took a deep breath. He needed to calm down. If Ghost wanted to kill him, he wouldn't be alive now. And there they were, Soap's knee on the couch between Ghost's thighs and his hand on his chest. He didn't look like he was going for Soap's head.

"Okay. The arrow is out and apparently you don't need gauzes, " Soap said nervously. His eyes were still on the hole, which supposed to stay open for at least a week. The flesh was already mending. Ghost's lips curled with a cold smile. "What?"

Soap took himself back quickly, almost stepping on his own foot. His heart was beating like caged bird in his chest. "You don't have a heart." Ghost's smile stayed but Soap knew it didn't reach his eyes. It didn't even reach his lips. It was only there for a show. "Ouch. I just told you my name."

Soap waved his hand after he huffed a short, unamused laugh. "It wasn't metaphorical. Your heart literally don't beat. Who the fuck are you?"

Ghost wasn't sitting anymore, he got to his feet and closed the gap between them. Soap hated how he had to lift his head a little to see Ghost's eyes and how it made him feel like a prey. He remembered three hours ago, how he thought this man was lying there like one. "I'm a demon you welcomed in." Soap's mind haywired and he actually laughed. It came from inside, from his belly and his whole body shook with the force of it. He noticed this whole thing was a sick joke but he was standing face to face with a probably immortal or already dead creature -given the fact that he had no beating heart. He had his own doubts of the origin of him, but to hell with it. He just pulled an arrow out of a myth, he had his reasons to lose it a little.

"Oh please. Who are you? Dracula? Go sit down when I'm prepping the meal. Even the demons get hungry."

Soap turned his back to Ghost and went to the kitchen, as if his heart was not about to leave his ribcage. He wasn't aware what he was saying until after he already said it and only thing he was sure about was that Ghost could most likely rip his head of when he was reaching for the pan. And yes, the demons would get hungry but what did they eat?

Ghost watched Soap from the couch he was sitting. He had a thoughtful look on his face. Was he really so fearless or so stupid? Soap didn't know what he was, he only got the vague idea of him being not human and said fuck it. Why was he treating Ghost like a human? Like someone who deserves any kindness of heart? He didn't have a heart.

Ghost didn't need kindness. He didn't need to rest. He didn't need his wounds to be cleaned. He didn't need to eat. Not normal, human meals, at least.

He needed to feed like every living creature. With or without a heart. But he only needed the souls. The flesh wasn't on the menu.

"What do you want to eat? I couldn't hunt, thanks to someone, so I don't have any meat." Ghost didn't look away from Soap's back and Soap shuddered under the realization of being watched. He had to ask what Ghost was eating. He had to know.

"Nothing. I don't eat. I... devour." Soap's hand froze on the ladle and he had to stop himself from reaching to the knife. He turned to face Ghost, who was still sitting where he left him. There wasn't any emotion on his mouth, the only part on his face that Soap could see. "Devour what? The souls of the innocent?" Soap's voice was mixed with mock but one could feel the tension behind it. Ghost sent him a little smirk as a prize of getting it right. "Enemies and the animals first. But if I have to, innocents are okay too."

"You're just pulling my leg now." Soap made a sound that indicates he didn't buy it. But the longer he looked at Ghost's unwavering eyes, the more he lost his confidence. "You're telling the truth. What the fuck?"

Ghost shrugged, and crossed his arms on his chest. "So. What's for the dinner?"

After an uncomfortable dinner which Ghost just watched while Soap was drinking a tasteless soup, he left Ghost in the room and went to bed to the next room. The idea of locking the door crossed his mind but he didn't. If Ghost wanted to take his soul away, a wooden door with a key on it wouldn't stop him. So he just left the door unlocked but closed, then went to bed. He thought he wouldn't be able to sleep with the fact that a soul sucker vampire was in the next room, but he drifted the moment his head touched the pillow. He dreamed of ghosts and souls.

The days turned into weeks like this. Soap didn't ask for Ghost to leave. It was out of fear at first but then he just liked to have a company. He didn't take his mask of, he didn't eat and sometimes he left for a couple of hours but he was always back before the night. Soap even found himself forgetting that Ghost wasn't a human. He was just there with his sometimes inappropriate jokes and sometimes silence. But these last days, he was mostly on the silent side and it made Soap feel... worried.

"Ghost, you good?" Ghost was on the couch, just lying there and dangling his feet from the armrest. He didn't voice an answer but nodded. Soap pressed the matter, cause Ghost's skin was looking paler than normal. "You look sick." Soap waited. Ghost would talk when he wanted to, not when he have to. While waiting to be taken into consideration of answering, Soap had a disturbing idea. "When was the last time you ate something?"

Ghost finally looked at Soap. He looked into his eyes. Soap bit his lip. "Was it before we met? Were you going for the deer because of it?" Ghost sighed. "Yes, Johnny."

Soap didnt dwell on the nickname. Not yet. "But you left almost everyday. You didn't find any animal?" Soap followed Ghost's stare and looked out the window. It was snowing. "I don't go for every animal. The sick ones are already dead, the healthy ones are gone."

"How big should it be?" Soap asked with urgency. If Ghost was half sick as his face, Soap was scared that he was gonna die in two days. Ghost didn't make a sound and for a second, Soap thought he just withered away in front of his eyes. The thought of Ghost dying made his breath caught in his throat. "Is a chicken okay? I don't know, a sheep?"

Ghost turned his head to the side and stared at Soap. He looked so helpless and panicked. Ghost smiled to him. It was a genuine one, and Ghost knew Soap noticed that too. He knew it from how Soap's posture changed. How he tensed first, then relaxed. How his shoulders sagged with relief for a moment. "Whatever you can find. A soul is a soul."

It did matter. Yes, a soul was a soul but the smarter the creature was the more fullfilling it would be. A cat's soul would do it for him, for two days. Maybe. A crow? About a week. That's why, the other ones were always hunting humans. They were the epitomes of wit. The emperors of the food chain. But he didn't have the luxury of a choice. He was already hungry and weak when he met Soap. After that, with every passing day with no soul, he got weaker. The weaker he became, the lesser he could go out to hunt. And because the village was small and they didn't know him, he couldn't go to the other houses to see if they have any animal. The last time he left the house, he had to sit under a tree not too far from home so he could go back. At first, staying with the human was a wise choice for him. If he couldn't hunt, he could always take Soap's soul. After some time, he couldn't bring himself to even think about it. The image of Soap between his arms, his soul leaving his body to feed Ghost, his blue eyes closing forever to keep Ghost's eyes open.

It sounded so sick and so wrong.

He found himself at the bring of death, so he could keep Soap alive.

When Soap came back, his hands were empty and there was a shocked look on his face. Ghost knew something was wrong. He sat up quickly and saw the stars for a moment. Soap was still standing in front of the door that closed after him. "They... They're all dead. Everyone. All of them." Ghost frowned. He took Soap's hand without thinking about it and got his attention. "What's happening? Tell me. Slowly." Soap nodded and dropped himself next to Ghost on the couch. There was a distant look in his eyes. "I- The village was too quiet. I followed the road down, I walked till the woods. Every door was closed. There was no one outside. Even the kids. Kids are always outside. I knocked on the doors, no answer. Then I saw blood on the path. Just droplets. Followed it through, it was going inside a house. The door wasn't locked so I went inside." Soap stopped talking and pressed into his eyes with his palms like he wanted to erase the scenes from his brain. Ghost put his hand on Soap's back and slowly circled. He hoped to bring some peace. "All dead. Went from door to door. All dead. Kids, animals, even the bugs. All dead. I found blood on only few of the bodies. The rest was... just sleeping. They didn't look dead. They looked like sleeping."

Ghost's body froze. He could feel Soap's skin under his palm and the heat radiating from it, but rest of his body was frozen. "Like sleeping. Are you sure?" Oblivious to Ghost's state of mind, Soap nodded. He was looking at his own hands. "Yes. No injury. They were all clean except the ones with blood. I think they tried to fight against whatever it was."

Ghost didn't talk for a long time and Soap's mind was occupied with the images of his friends bodies. Then he snapped his head to look at Ghost. Ghost was lost in thoughts but Soap figured it out. He figured it out long ago, deep down he got what was happening but only now he could voice it. "Ghost. Is it only you? The vampire?" Ghost nodded slowly and the nightmare turned into reality. Soap clenched his fists to slow his breath down. So he wouldn't start shouting. "How many? Ghost. How many? Did I do this to them? Did they follow you? Or were they looking for you? Are you a part of a pack? Did you do this?" Soap's voice raised through the talking and he was yelling at the end. He didn't realize he was standing in front of Ghost till he looked down and saw Ghost's head hanging low.

"I left them a long time ago. They turned me into this monster, and feed me the souls. The humans. It was mandatory for them, to feed on humans. They always went after the smartest ones, in wit and in emotion. After they made me eat the soul of a child, I left. And I brought the bastards with me. Their souls. It's a funny thing, how we think when the heart stops the soul leaves. It's normally like that.Any human would lose their souls when their heart stopped. But with us, it's different. Our hearts stopped long ago, but we still live. It's like we tricked God into thinking we're still alive, even after hundreds of years. Or we're all so wicked that even God doesn't want to claim our souls. When I ate the other ones' I tasted rotten blood. It was the most disgusting thing I've ever eaten. But when I was feeding on them, I also fed on the souls they took. I tasted fear, sadness, happiness, hope, love... I tasted it all. Then I tasted my own mother. My brother and his finance, my nephew. These bastards put their hands on my family."

Soap couldn't move. Couldn't breath. He felt the tears stinging his eyes. He let them fall, and stream down his face.

"Among them, I found who did it. And I sliced him. Carved him with a knife. You see, Johnny, I was a soldier before. They turned me because I was too good. The perfect soldier. But I would die one day. So they turned me into this beast. I know how to torture and how to make people scream with pain. But he was already dead and I already took his soul. So I carved a message on his body." Ghost took a knife out of his pocket and showed to Soap. "This is the only thing that was left from my old life. I want to end the new one with it too. Unless someone from them or God himself doesn't want to get my soul, I will keep walking this earth till the apocalypse come and take us all. Or maybe, one day, I will be strong enough to do it myself."

Soap was still looking down at Ghost. Ghost, who was sitting like a stone while telling Soap his life. The horrors he experienced. He squatted down. It was like the first day they met. Soap wrapped his arms around Ghost's body and pulled him close, his head was just under Soap's chin. Ghost trembled and took a deep breath, like the weight on his shoulders lifted with the touch of Soap. He leaned to Soap's chest without realizing and the hard edges of the mask sinked into Soap's flesh.

Soap didn't move, but Ghost knew it hurt. He took the mask out, then hugged Soap back with force. Like he was trying to run away from the world into the Soap's chest. Like he was trying to get into it, to nest in his ribcage and become the neighbour to his heart. Soap stroked his back, and let him pour it all out. If he wanted to stay, he was going to let him stay. Let it be in his house, or in his heart. Both were his home.

Ghost took himself back from the Soap's hug and for a moment, he didn't lift his head. It was an integral part of Ghost, Soap couldn't possibly imagine how hard it was to take it off in front of someone else. "I put this mask on after they force me to take that child's soul. I couldn't look at myself in the mirror. I was an entity with a damned soul and no heart. I was a ghost." Ghost looked up at Soap and it made Soap's heart jump. Soap saw his brown, more like auburn hair with blond strands here and there. And saw his brown eyes, which turned into pot of honey under the sun. His mouth was always on display, with scars around it that made him look like a mistreated porcelain doll. But the cheekbones were new. The cut starting from under his eye and ending right before where the mask sits was new. The freckles across his face were brilliant, like God took a look at it and decided it would be a nice location for another desert. For Soap to get lost and see a mirage under his eyes.

Soap took Ghost's hands into his and didn't look away from his eyes. Then kissed the corner of his lips. Lifted corners with a smile was the prize. Ghost held his face with both hands, then put his thumbs under Soap's eyes. He drank from the oceans, that clenched his thirst. Then he went for his lips, and not like a shy thank you. Ghost devoured Soap's lips. The human Ghost thought that he would eat his soul away was taking his' through the lips. And Ghost was giving it away willingly.

The moment ended with a bang on the door and they froze on the spot. Ghost went for his mask again, and Soap ran to the kitchen to get a knife. "Simon... I know you're here, dear." Ghost's hand stopped at midair with the mask. After hearing the name, he lowered his hand and dropped the mask. Soap wasn't listening the man shouting outside the door. His eyes were on Ghost. And when Ghost handed Soap the knife he was carrying with him, he snapped. "What are you thinking?"

Ghost didn't speak. But his eyes and face did. "Absolutely not. You're not fed. You're weak. And you give the knife to me? No." Ghost put the knife in Soap's palm and made him clench his fist, then put his hand on top of it. "I've been alive for 200 years, Johnny. And you're the best thing ever happened to me." Soap shook his head furiously. "No. Ghost -Simon. No. I won't allow it. Stay. We can figure it out."

Ghost listened the sounds. There were at least three of them. In his best, Ghost would take them down at the same time. But now, he was weaker than a kid and he knew they came after him, not Johnny. He wasn't going to put his life in danger. Ghost leaned in for another kiss before getting up to his feet. A kiss of goodbye. Soap wanted to tear down the walls with his fingers.

Ghost left like a summer breeze in the middle of the barren winter.

Soap's grip around the knife tightened to the degree that the handle left prints in his palm. He got up and went to the door. He wasn't going to let them get Ghost alone. Even as a mere human, he knew he could do something. He was a hunter, he could do some damage. When he grabbed the knob with determination, the door opened wide with a bang. A man with a red hair with blood on his face was standing in front of him with psychopatic smile. "Hi, Johnny. Let's take a walk."

Soap used the knife Ghost gave him on the red haired man. He stabbed his arm but it didn't make him leave Soap. Instead, he bent Soap's arm to his back and took him out of the house. Soap didn't realize how far they come till they stopped and only then he noticed the speed they had. The man almost flied him to the woods with his speed. When they stopped, Soap took a look at their surroundings and his eyes stopped at Ghost. He was bleeding from his arms and his face, Soap saw a hole on his chest which made his heart stop. Ghost's wounds would close by itself normally, but his body was too hungry to do so. He was going to die soon. "Ghost..."

Ghost's unseeing eyes focused on Soap and his eyes widen with fear. He struggled under the grip of the other man. "Soap! No! Why did you take him? This is between us!" Ghost's cries didn't reach to the red haired man. He just laughed. "All these fightings made me hungry. I bought a snack on my way back." The man turned his look from Soap to Ghost, then his smile turned into something more wicked. "Oh. I almost forgot. You didnt eat for so long, right? I will leave this for you. I know you don't like it, but a cut on the body will do the job. It did before."

He touched Soap's cheek and made a little cut with his fingernail, just enough to draw blood. "Soap, did you know he hates to take human soul? But the beast does like it. Blood is the link between the body and the soul. If you bring it out, we always want to taste it. Some of us want it more than the others. Especially if you're too hungry. Too weak. If you're at the door of the underworld, the beast will do anything to keep its soul inside the body. To keep it from dying."

Soap locked his eyes with Ghost, and saw the color leaving his face. He was living up to his name now, his face was as white as a ghost. Soap could see him struggling, trying to lock his jaw, close his mouth, dig his toes into the dirt to keep him from moving. But Soap also could see the beast was winning. Ghost was too helpless, he didn't have enough strength to hold himself back. The man standing at Ghost's side let him go.

Soap closed his eyes. He didn't mind dying. He didn't mind it because he knew his soul was going to live in Ghost. He was going to let Soap in, like Soap did with Ghost weeks ago. Soap was okay with it.

He embraced death with open arms.

But it didn't come. He felt the grip on his coat loosen and he planted on the ground face first. He tasted dirt in his mouth but his soul was where it should be. He stayed on his knees and hands first, then looked around. The man with the red hair was on the ground and his eyes were looking at the trees above, empty. He was dead. Rather, his soul was sucked out of him. Soap searched for Ghost and found him on the other side, the man who was holding Ghost was now between Ghost's arms, his limbs stopping moving by the time goes.

When Ghost finished his job, he tossed the body to the side like a trash. He left the mask home, so Soap saw his face as a whole. He looked phenomenal with the dried blood on his cheek and the franzy look on his eyes. But he felt scared too. This was the beast. The monster. Even though Ghost could take his last breath away from his lungs, Soap still reached a hand to him when Ghost got closer. "Simon..."

Ghost squatted and took Soap's hand, then lifted it to his face and pressed his cheek on it. Then kissed his palm. "Yes, Johnny. I'm here."

Soap let Ghost wrap him into a hug. They stayed like that for a moment, till the tension of fear leave both of their bodies. Soap nudged his head into Ghost's neck and spoke in a muffled voice. "Simon, is it over?" Ghost nodded over him. "It is. We can go home now."

Soap grabbed Ghost's shirt and held him down with himself. "Everybody is dead. There's no home." Ghost kissed the top of Soap's head. "Wherever you are, there is my home. We can leave, if you want. To somewhere better."

Soap chuckled under him. "To somewhere with unlimited access to little innocent animals."

"That too, yeah." Ghost parted away and saw Soap still holding the knife he gave, grabbing it to death. Ghost unclenched his fist, then took the knife away. It made a deep cut on Soap's hand, the blade was dripping blood. Ghost wrapped the wound with a piece of the red hair man's cloth, then clened the knife on his shirt. Soap shook his head when Ghost wanted to give the knife back. "No. It's yours. And no one's dying. So you can take it."

Ghost refused, and put the knife back on Soap's good hand. "My life is always in your hands. You can kill my kind with a stab to the heart. I never had the courage, never bring myself to try. But if one day-" Soap stopped Ghost from talking with a kiss. He kissed Ghost like this was a war and Soap was determined to win. Ghost breathed into Soap's mouth and Soap tasted Ghost's soul. He tasted love and murder. Both had traces of blood.

"If you ever, ever, talk about dying again. I will kill you. Just a warning." Ghost laughed and bit Soap's lower lip. "Mhm. I'm warned."

Five hundred years later, a man with a wide hat stepped next to a disturbed tomb. He had a shovel in his hand, and the grave was getting swept by men and women with shovels and all kinds of tools. "Price!" The man turned to the sound of his name. "Gaz. What's it?" Gaz pointed to a grave that was six foot away. "Take a look at this."

They were called to a graveyard because a sick bastard was burying his victims' bodies with the already dead people. Price greeted the people working on the other graves on his way and went to the one Gaz pointed. "Would you look at that?"

Price lowered himself and tried to take everything in. There was two bodies in the space of one, so he thought it was the psycho's doing but when he gave his attention he realized it wasn't the case.

What was left from them were only the skeleton but a trained eye could see it. One of the bodies was almost in a manner of hugging the other. The hugged one had nothing and probably died of natural causes because Price couldn't see any trauma on the bones. He was probably too old, if you take the sternum's width. But the other, the one that looked like it was hugging, had a knife between his ribs, stuck there till eternity.

Price took his eyes from the grave and plunged the shovel into the ground, taking a load of it and filling the grave. "Let them rest, son."

[giraffesvoice-whalesear]

Crap. Sora is here first. Rahu pretends to be uninterested, but looks like he wants to say something. Sora breaks the awkward silence with a single word.

"You're LATE" "Oh- That much!? " "If you had exchanged contact information with him back then, you could have gotten the information more efficiently." "You’re persistent! Because his voice really made me sleepy. I couldn't resist it, seriously." "(not convinced) You often fall asleep in every lecture... Well, whatever, I feel like we'll meet him in orbit anyway."

"(clears throat) You guys treat my shop like a library or a museum, and on top of that, you're using it as a meeting room today? Why don't you help me out once in a while?"

"Eh! Unfortunately, I'm tight on money this month…" "(shrugs) Have you ever heard of a mineral called Volucite, you stone nerds?" "Volucite…?" "(rolls eyes) You don't know… (mutters) That's because sages of the Crystals Realm have monopolized and concealed information… (suddenly smiling) Why don't you stop chasing after vague things like artificial planets and take an interest in Volucite? I WANT information about Volucite, however small."

"(sniff) I try to decide for myself what I like and what I'm interested in." "You're quite something. But what if, while you think you are making your own choice, the choice itself is actually being guided by someone else? (smirk)" "(surprised) Huh? Hey, Sora, say something too!" Sora stares at Rahf's earrings and doesn't move_

"(chuckle)Well, whatever. Get out of here right now. I feel like being mean today because of the runny egg." "Okay okay, Next time I will listen to you about that ore called Volucite. See you later! So-ra-? Let's go!" "(Returning to his senses) Ah, yeah, that's right. I want to get to the abandoned railway line before it gets dark. Goodbye-"

Ao and Sora started to walk out of the store, but suddenly they both turned around at the same time.

"Don't sell that green ore to Ao/Sora!" "No waay! I found that first." "That's the ore I've been putting aside for me!" Ao and Sora leave while arguing. "Please come again… (sigh)"

“On the orbit” 💫 11/? Orbital node

🪐Beginning / Previous / Next 🚪

Special Thanks: Pose @freezerbnuuy @sunflowercontent @simmerika @samssims @ｍoc / Glowing Crystal Rocks @bakiegaming / Thank you all creators for amazing CC!

And to YOU who scrolled through this long nonsense, Much appreciated.🐳🌈The story continues so please bear with me for a little longer :p

※There is a separate list of CAS for the characters (or I will post it soon)

[froggoon]

I’ll love you in every multiverse: First Dates and First Loves Pt. 3 I Five Hargreeves x Reader

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Post Apocalypse Au! WC: 2.58k Pt. 1 Pt.2

Summary: You're Five's wife from another universe and he's trying really hard to help you back home, unfortunately, it's been weeks and you're losing hope and he's gaining feelings.

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It's been 4 weeks of research, quality time, sexual tension, and awkwardness, and it was starting to get to you. You knew you shouldn't have feelings for this Five, but this version feels new, like when your relationship has begun again. It was the tender touches and the sense of leaving each other wanting. It felt good but it was torturous.

Today was Friday, every Friday you and Five ordered food and watched a movie to convey some type of normalcy. It started when you guys had been reading and making equations for 11 hours when you had had enough. -------------------------- 3 weeks ago --------------------------------- The two of you sat in Five's room surrounded by a ginormous load of reading material. "Okay, I can't do this right now I'm actually going to explode." You pushed all the papers in front of you aside. Five sighed and leaned back in his chair, a few buttons of his shirt undone from the summer heat. You watched as he flicked his hair back with his hand then rubbed his wrist from the pain of writing so long. "What are you looking at?" He questioned. "Nothing, just thought I saw something." Oh, you saw something all right. Something that made your pulse quicken. But now wasn't the time to think about how hot he was you shook your head "Look we've been at this straight for 4 days I think we need a little pick me up." You started typing away on your phone for the closest pizza place and best movies streaming now. Five furrowed his brows at you before dusting his pants and standing up, "Okay while you do that I'm going to take a shower." Pointing to him you replied, "Fine but you better be back for this prime-time fun." He waved you off but nodded. You had managed to find a pizza store nearby that delivered and ordered half pepperoni, half cheese, with a diet Coke. Plopping on Five's bed you opened his laptop that Viktor had gifted him. Plain. Looking fresh from the store with the mediocre sky background screen saver. You turned your head to the door waiting to see if you had enough time before opening the camera app and taking a photo on his computer and changing it to the background, the perfect prank. You then began typing away looking for free movies online. Normally it would take you forever to find a movie with your Five, the both of you were pretty picky in wanting to find just the right movie. But right now you just wanted to let some steam off. Reaching over you pulled out a side table to rest the laptop on and sat on the edge of Five bed leaning your back against the wall. You grabbed one of his pillows to hug against your chest, subtly inhaling the smell.

You heard Five come in the room and opened your eyes. "You weren't sleeping during our fun Friday right?" He laughed. You smiled, "I wouldn't miss it for the world, and I've already picked out a movie!" He walked in pizza in one hand, plates and napkins in another. You scooted over to make space for him and leaned over to play the movie. "The hunger games? Is this a movie about starving people? Because I prefer thrillers." You laughed loudly, partially because he wasn't wrong. He rolled his eyes before grabbing a slice of pepperoni pizza and putting it on a plate. "Here," he moved it closer, "for you." You grabbed the slice, "What a gentleman."

The two of you sat in silence, munching on your pizza while watching Katniss Everdeen volunteer as tribute. “Me and my husband loved these movies, he was team Gale, initially.” The two of you watched Gale and Katniss say goodbye for the first time. Five hummed “Gale does look more suitable for Katniss. But I won’t judge for now.”

The two of you were halfway into the movie and had 2 slices left of the pie. Sleep was beginning to overcome you as your eyes fluttered open and shut. Five looked at you from the side of his eyes. You looked so cute like that. Like a child trying to stay up past their bedtime. Hesitantly he spoke up in a soft voice, “ You…you can lean on me if you’re tired.” You yawned, confirming that you were indeed sleepy. Slowly your head fell to his shoulder as you shimmied closer to get comfortable. Five prayed you couldn’t hear his heart as he leaned his cheek on the top of your head. He closed his eyes and hoped this moment would last forever, he inhaled deeply trying to remember everything he had experienced with you so far.

Your breaths slowed down, indicating you were fast asleep. Five didn't want to interrupt your peaceful slumber so he carefully scooped his arm under your neck and legs to lay you down. He reached for the laptop closed the movie and saw the little present you left as his screen saver. He laughed, you were cute. Your pearly white smile was wide and your eyes were shut. He'd definitely keep it this way. He shut the laptop and began cleaning up the remnants of dinner before bringing them downstairs.

You stirred in your sleep, twisting and groaning as if you were having a bad dream. Five crept back into the room hearing your discomfort. He approached you and placed a hand in yours, perhaps thinking that the comfort would help you sleep. But your turned and pulled him toward you hugging his arm, face pressed against his palm. He wanted to leave, not in a bad way, but he didn't want to take advantage of you. Although, you had looked so much calmer with his hand in yours. He carefully laid above the covers making sure to not disrupt you. Five stared up at the ceiling, a million thoughts running through his mind. He genuinely enjoyed your presence and thought less and less about Delores. It was no surprise to him why almost every variation of himself was in love with you, and it scared him to admit that he was one of them. He closed his eyes, wishing to silence the thought, and eventually drifted off.

You cheek was smushed up against something hard and your hand against something warm, the smell of cologne and books welcomed your nose. Well whatever it was, it was breathing. You looked upward and saw your husband, you reached your hand to trace his jawline before pressing a kiss to his neck and snuggling deep into his side for a bit extra shut-eye. Unknown to you, Five was awake and felt everything, he knew you must've confused him for your Five but he pretended to sleep. You woke up again but this time Five was gone. You stretched out your arms and let out a groan before getting up and wandering downstairs. You saw Five nose-deep in a newspaper with a fresh pot of coffee. "Morning! Five, how did you like the movie last night. Sorry, I fell asleep I was exhausted." The boy put down his mug before responding "No worries, I kinda got into it and finished while you were asleep." He paused, thinking about his next words, "It was really fun just kind of relaxing." You jumped up and smiled, "I'm glad! We should do these movie nights often." You zipped around the counter to pour yourself a glass, unaware of green eyes following you, memorizing your figure.

--------------------------- Present Day ----------------------------------

Ever since then Friday nights became a regular thing for you and Five. You would order in fast-food and pick a movie. It almost always ended with you falling alseep first and the Five, but the two of you never acknowledged that.

There was a knock on the academy door. "I'll get it." Five said he was able to get there the fastest after all. "Viktor?" he said skeptically, "Come in, what are you doing here?" He moved away to let his brother in. "I'm here just checking in on you and our uh new visitor. You two kinda disappeared for a while. Luther and Ally had to catch up on work, Diego and Lila had plans, I don't know about Klaus but we wanted to know what was up." Viktor took a good look at Five. Although he still retained those dark eyebags under his green eyes, they seemed lighter. He even looked like he put on a healthier weight. "They're all busy with their own things, seems reasonable I'm busy with mine. But for you and our sibling's information, I'm doing just fine. I've been helping (y/n) try to get back home for a while. It's been...tough. But we're slowly making progress." Viktor nodded understanding that they, including him, as of late have not been the most invested in Five.

You came walking from behind Five, "Hello Viktor! Nice to see you again." Viktor waved awkwardly. It was funny seeing someone you'd known for years but here you'd only just met. "You know Viktor back in my universe we hung out a lot. I went to every one of your concerts." You paused, "I missed that." Viktor smiled, you were so nice, he kinda wished you were apart of this universe and this family. "Well, I have a concert tomorrow if you wanted to come? I know you two are probably busy with the machine but..." Five and you spoke simultaneously "I'd love to." "Yeah we are." You turned to look at Five with a harsh look before responding, "What time is it and were?" "its a 7pm at the mainstreet theater." You grabbed his arm excitedly, "We'll be there!"

When Viktor left Five looked at you with one eyebrow raised, "Don't we have work to do?" As much as he wanted to support Viktor, the two of you were busy, and there was no end in sight to when you would be able to go back home. Weren't you worried? At times he thought you to be too carefree, unbeknownst to the seriousness of your own situation sometimes. "Yes, but it's good to be there for Viktor, it's important to him." You had similar talks with your Five, growing up in an emotional student house, vying for the affections of their stoic father, you could tell that it was hard for the family at times to understand certain things. "Sometimes, it helps to be the first one to reach out, it shows that you care and you want to prioritize them." You nudged him on the arm. "Now...weren't we about to commit to our weekly movie night?" And that's how the two of you ended up in his bed once again burger wrappers in hand while The Conjuring played in the back. You pulled the covers over your eyes and gripped Five's sleeve. "Why did you have to pick a scary movie. Five.. she's right behind Lorainne!" You jumped up and buried your face in his side. "I can't watch!" You cried. Five only chuckled and pulled you closer. "Shh, It's okay it's almost over." His voice soothed you. You peeked through your fingers for the ending. "I didn't take you to be a scared cat." He chuckled. "Me and my Five used to go on movie dates often. I remember the first day he took me too was at the movies and it was Insidious. I had no idea what it was and didn't research beforehand. But I had a feeling he did it on purpose because I was so terrified I was almost in his lap." You remembered your first day fondly. "Anyways I was so scared after the movie and after he drove me home that I had called him that night to talk and refused to hang up, just in case the monster got me. So he stayed up all night talking to me. I swear we talked until 5 am, about everything." It pained Five to know that these were memories of him, but not. He had risked everything for his family and given up so much of his life due to one mistake. Didn't he deserve this? You continued, "You want to know when I fell in love with you?" Five nodded. "We had 3 dates so far, not too fancy just dinner and the occasional movie. But the day I fell in love wasn't even planned"

----------------------October 15 2018-----------------------------------

You had just the shittiest day at work ever. Absolute garbage. You worked at Lancroft Banking, one of the world's biggest banks, so there was constant pressure and work. Today your boss had made snarky comments at you all day about how you messed up the calculation in the data that was supposed to go to their international team. It was a small era just due to the outdated information you received. But someone must've shat in his coffee that day because nonstop was he giving you backhanded comments. You cried your whole lunch break and texted Five that you were going to quit because of your shit boss ( just a bluff though).

After work, you were getting ready to head to the train when a bouquet of tulips infiltrated your view. Your eyes looked up to the giver of the beautiful flowers. "I heard my favorite girl had a hard day at work." You blushed at his words. "You were having a bad day, so I'm here to distract you. I've already picked up Thai from Mai Thai and got (your favorite dish). I have vanilla ice cream in my fridge and the entire (favorite movie) collection waiting for us at my place." You were shell-shocked. No one had ever taken the time to care for you like this. And it wasn't till you were driving in his car, ranting to him about your job when it hit you like a soft wave crashing in. You started to notice how his eyes crinkled when he smiled, the little flash of a dimple on his cheek. His responses faded into the background when a warm hand grabbed yours. The moment felt perfect, he felt perfect, not a flaw in your eyes. You had been in what you thought was love in high school. But this was different. No one had cared for you like this. I mean there was Diego who looked out for you in the police academy but Five? Five had taken the time to understand you, listen to you, talk to you. You thought to yourself, "I think...this is what love is."

-------------------------------Present ------------------------------------

"We dated for 2 years before you proposed." You said while admiring your ring. "This ring you had custom-made for me." You pushed your hand out to show off the diamond ring surrounded by two small emeralds. A thick silence came across the two of you. It was undeniable the attraction the two of you had for each other, but neither wanted to push the boundaries. They feared the consequences. You eventually had to go back home and Five eventually would have to move on. It was complicated. "Well, I'm a bit tired so I'm going to head to bed now. Good night (y/n) I'll see you tomorrow." Five lifted the covers, letting a cool breeze hit your legs before packing up the food and his laptop and retreating to the door. "Good night Five, sleep well." You responded. Your body ached for his closeness again, the feeling of comfort and solitude in a single person. Instead of calling out you just laid back in bed and closed your eyes replaying the last moments again and again you had before you fell through the portal. This was a mistake.

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Author's note: I know there are still a lot of unanswered questions but I'm just getting started! be on the lookout for pt 4!

I also just want to say I finally realized messages and inboxes are two different things so I was able to read some of your comments! Thank you so much to everyone who has written something nice, your comments make me want to keep writing and be better.

I will get around to some of the requests!

Masterlist 🖊️

Taglist : @cialovesklopp , @lovehatekill, @rosekeu , @iifrui

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[creationofthecourtesan]

okay, i'm actually going to justify elaborate because if anyone else feels this way, i want them to know that it's okay and they're not alone.

i'm going to have a season of vanity because i've never had one. there was never a time in my life where i could primarily focus on myself. the times in my life where i should've been learning about makeup techniques, or hair styles or skin products, i never did because i was too busy taking care of other people and other people's children.

and while we wouldn't have been able to afford a lot of the products that i wanted anyway, even more so i was raised around women that didn't show a big interest in skin care, makeup, etc so they couldn't understand why i was showing such an interest in it.

but i honestly think they were secretly into it and other forms of traditional female "grooming" and adornment but for whatever reason, they didn't feel as if they were worthy of or deserved it so they acted as if they weren't interested in it.

but that's a post for another day about generational self-limiting beliefs.

because i'm going to have my season of vanity.

i want to be beautiful.

i want to turn heads.

i want jaws to drop.

i want people to not be able to speak in coherent sentences when they first meet me because my beauty is just that captivating. just that mesmerizing.

i want to have that level of beauty.

damn near other-worldly.

i am not happy with the way i look.

and i know that is almost an unaccepted phrase to say in this day and age of "body positivity/acceptance"

but it's not going to change my truth or how i feel on the inside.

and i'm not going to pretend or try to force myself to accept something if i can actually change and that change will make me feel better.

i'm not going to lie to myself. and ignore how i feel every time i look in the mirror.

it's naïvety at best and delusional at worst.

instead i'm going to have my season of vanity.

[tagzpite]

I have a question

Ok.

the Drawing is really cool , but I want Undestand how!

what Happend inside this AU and why Odysseus is become...the Poseidon Horse??

there is a story about this? I'm Really curious to know this!!

The story is in my Brain and I try to terribly explain it in my tags but this is like the third at most time I am posting about this one I believe?

Alright so explanation, I have a habit of making aus where Odysseus is either, blinded in one/both eyes, turned into something or just already is something…

There might be more to that but I can’t remember atm oop.

Oh yeah angst.

Anyways.

Okay so, basic story is, Odysseus gets turned into a horse just as he’s nearly finally near the lands close to Ithaca, just as he’s about to reach dry ground. Poseidon desires death is a too kind fate, and binds him eternally to the sea as a wild stallion unable to cross to dry land. Cursed to run across the waves. To never step foot upon his home again.

Of course, he isn’t just an ordinary sea faring horse, no no. He’s FAST. And Basically Poseidon wishes to make the punishment even worse by having him take him on his back across the seas whenever he pleases, he manages to jump on his back and Odysseus runs around wildly through waves and storms for three months straight, with Poseidon never once faltering and managing to stay on no matter how much Odysseus attempts to buck him off, once he’s tired out, Poseidon requests Hephaestus to make him a bronze bridle and reigns that wouldn’t break no matter what. Since Odysseus could dearly a normal rope or chain. This Bridle actually also keeps his eyes covered, so he doesn’t know where he is going without Poseidon leading him.

I like to call it “The Trojan Horse”

There is of course a whole lot more to the story!—

And of course Prompted Worssmith (Smitty beloved)….knows all of it and contributed a great deal in our dms

[merlins-strawberriesandroses]

The thing no one ever considers while writing up character analyses about Merlin is that. he must have been sooooooo sleepy.

[moongothic]

Seen a few people too many discuss the concept of Dragodile Baby 2 and my hot take is that there's no way in hell Crocodile would ever detransition just to go through nine months of horrible dysphoria again, let alone go through pregnancy ever again (or allow Ivankov to even touch him, what if they died and weren't able to trans Croc's gender again afterwards? Hell naw, ain't worth the risk)

But this leaves an opportunity for a Funnier Option:

Dragon wants another baby? Sure, but it's his turn to carry it >:)

[marcelineuntitled]

i like this one a lot :)))

[rosewheresheshouldntbe]

> Rose: We need to cook!

Gas mask sprite by @kalza. Hoodie base sprite by nerdferd.

[fernzwing]

I feel like I just woke up from a coma sorry for not posting anything guys. 2024 is not a very happy year

[reluctantbylerblog]

they really have the gall to say they aren’t biased against byler when these are their reactions to both of these posts:

like c’mon bffr