#omg i didn’t even realize i posted this on valentine’s day | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

camaro-and-smokes · 2 months

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Like a Virgin

Rating: Explicit Warnings: no warnings Tags: OMG THEY WERE ROOMMATES, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Pining, Safe Sane and Consensual, Gay Billy Hargrove, Bisexual Steve Harrington Anal Sex, Clothing Kink, Lingerie, Crossdressing, Underwear Kink, Mirror Sex

Summary: Billy has been harboring a secret for a long time, one he'd had since early teens. After getting into Northwestern on a basketball scholarship with Steve, Billy ends up as his roommate. In the privacy of the apartment only they two share, Billy is finally able to explore the secret by himself. He tries to keep the secret only to himself, but of course Steve accidentally finds out about it. And Steve, who asked no one else but Billy to become his roommate because he's been pining over Billy ever since Hawkins… Steve realizes that he can't just pine anymore but do something about it.

Read it full on AO3 >>

Notes: This was laying in my drafts for almost a year... And then I got inspired and was supposed to get this done by Valentine's day. But then the wordcount just kept growing and growing and growing... But here it is, even if a few days late! Moodboard by Harle @brightside-of-the-upsidedown 💜 There's also a gorgeous not safe for work artwork by @tentaclepi3 included (not on this post though, unfortunately, you all know why...), you'll find it on AO3 too 💜

Snippet under the cut :)

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The front door whumped closed behind Billy and he rushed into his room. The envelope in his hand was burning his fingers, and even though Harrington wasn't even home, he didn’t want him to see, even by accident, what it held inside—or what he was about to do with the contents. Their shared apartment was supposed to be empty for at least one hour, since Harrington had some extra classes or something.

When they both started at Northwestern at Chicago earlier that fall, both gotten in with a basketball scholarship, Harrington had soon been casually looking for a roommate. His dad owned the apartment where he lived in. Everything was top-notch and new, but apparently the dadio had started asking for rent and it had been too much for the golden boy. He'd pestered Billy about it, trying to sell the place with his very own room, a bathroom he'd have to share only with Harrington, their own washing machine, dryer and dishwasher. All luxury in Billy's eyes. He'd been tempted from day one, but it sounded too good to be true. Then, when he talked with someone about it, turned out that Harrington hadn't mentioned about the situation to anyone else. It was suspicious and at first Billy thought Harrington was pitying him. But the dorm was, well, a dorm, and having privacy, especially with the secret Billy had been harboring for quite a while now, was a luxury the dorm didn't have. So, Billy had moved his stuff in into the room that already had a lush bed, a proper desk and chair ready for him. And it turned out the rent wasn't bad either, considering all that. Billy could cover it easily with the pay he got from being a barista at the campus cafe and he was still left enough for everything else, including the occasional treat like the one he had in his hands right now.

Now Billy was about to use his privacy for all it was worth. He'd have to be haste about it, though.

He got to his room and locked the door behind him. Locking his room door wasn’t something he frequently did, simply because it reminded him too much of the past. One he was now effectively free of. But this was a such a secret that he couldn't have anyone learn about it.

Billy placed the envelope on his table, tossed his jacket on the chair, and just stared at the envelope. He'd waited for it for an agonizing six weeks. And now that it was finally here, his thoughts were a rushing blur in his mind.

Today was the day he had waited for ever since that one day when everything had suddenly made sense.

- - -

Billy had seen the corset originally in his aunt Marjorie’s closet when they had visited her with his mom. He knew he'd been snooping that day, looking for something exactly like that, tempted by the free sexuality of an attractive single woman. He'd taken it from the hanger and for a moment admired it, how the silky fabric felt in his hands, how the lace on the sides was a bit rough, the cups for breasts in the right shape waiting to be filled, and imagined what it looked like on her. Then he’d looked at the mirror and, out of a whim, draped it around himself a little.

His pre-teen body, that was just about to take him through the most painful change of his life, had suddenly failed him miserably at the sight of his own image with the garment and he'd come to his pants unexpectedly.

When they’d gotten home, his mom had tried to hide it, but she wasn’t fast enough to get the pants into the washing machine. Of course Neil had seen them.

But the cost of that incident did nothing to the reason Billy had come. It wasn't because he'd seen it or dreamed of seeing it on a woman.

The image tattooed on his retinas was himself in the mirror, the corset loosely draped over his shirt. The feeling it had aroused in him felt so wrong in all the ways possible, but it was always the one that tickled his mind so much that whenever he jerked off, seeing himself wearing a corset like that finally pushed him over the edge.

He'd been way too scared to do anything about it until that one date.

Her name had been Sheri or Cherry or something like that, Billy couldn't remember anymore. She'd been nice and good looking for a girl. Maybe if he’d been into girls, he might've gone out with her again. They'd had fun, but not the way she'd hoped for, probably.

To him, though, it had been an eye-opening experience.

She'd been wearing the most beautiful eye shadow Billy had ever seen. Sheen of silver on her upper eyelid and a touch of glitter in the outer corner of her eye. Her whole makeup and hair had been immaculate, her style and clothes taken straight from Madonna's music video – or that's how she'd advertised it.

Billy had hated Madonna the moment he first heard her sing. Her squeaky, nasal voice made his skin crawl. But when he saw the video for 'Like a Virgin', he had to agree with his date. Madonna looked nice – and yes, he’d liked everything she'd been wearing in the video.

- - -

Billy took down a box from the upper shelf of his closet. He had opened it when it had arrived, just to quickly check the measurements were right. They had been, and since he wanted everything to be perfect before doing anything, on the upper shelf the box had gone.

He'd done some other purchases he could do fairly innocently, telling it was for a girlfriend if anyone asked. All of them had been stacked away into a fabric pouch and behind the box.

But now all his purchases were on his table, the box, the envelope and the fabric pouch. Finally.

He could hear his heart pounding in his ears as he opened the lid of the box. There were three plastic bags in it.

He took out both of the smaller ones, placing them on his bed, smiling. The third, a bigger one, he set on the floor.

He took the envelope from the table, opened it, and pulled out a small velvet pouch, setting it carefully on the table. He opened it and pulled out the contents. The glittering bracelet that emerged was an exact copy of the one from another Madonna video, 'Material Girl'.

Billy moved it under the light of his desk lamp, and the bracelet came to life. Light sparkled around him, lighting up his entire room in all the colors of the rainbow.

He looked at all the things he had laid out. He felt something shifting as he was overcome with emotions. Something that he’d soon know for sure. He wasn’t sure how much things would change, maybe for the better. Or worse, depending on the point of view.

Moving to Hicksville had definitely made most things worse at first. But not everything. There, he'd concluded that he wanted to try this. And now that he didn’t have to hide anymore the way he'd still had to back there, he’d sought this one specific mail-order catalog that in the past would’ve gotten him a beat-down of a lifetime.

But now he finally had it all. The things that he’d been jerking off with only the images of them in his mind until now. Having to imagine wearing something like that had been a kick as itself, but seeing all of them on display, ready for him to wear... He was already hard just for the thought alone.

For a brief moment, he considered if he should take the edge off now so that he wouldn't mess the garments unintentionally. Because that would totally suck since he couldn’t wash them without Steve inevitably seeing them, eventually. And then there would be a stain in them to remind him of this secret having to remain a secret, probably for forever.

So, he sat on his bed, unzipped his jeans and took care of it. It didn't take long, all he had to do was to look at the garments on the bed, touch them, and think how he'd look like wearing it all, and after just a few fast strokes he was already spilling himself on his hand.

He felt a little ashamed to have gotten so aroused over clothes he wasn't even yet wearing and especially being released so quickly from the thought alone. It felt wrong. And yet it was so right.

After cleaning himself with tissues from a box he held on the nightstand, he sat by his table and opened one of the fabric pouch. One by one he placed mascara, eye shadow and a lipstick on his desk.

He wanted to make this occasion perfect, and he knew it meant he had to have it all, make-up included. The whole thing was too exciting to him, so he decided not to do his nails this time. He would just rush with them, which would lead him not letting them dry long enough and then he’d stain the clothes. Besides, he had time to play with these things for the rest of his life.

Putting on make-up was something he'd practiced several times when he'd been alone. He’d used magazines as samples, and he’d gotten pretty good with it. He stood in front of the big mirror he had in his room and spread the eye shadow on his upper eyelids, put on the mascara – even though his lashes were already thick and dark and he really didn’t need it. The lipstick was bright pink, because it had been on sale. It wouldn’t have mattered anyway, though. It was all about the thought. But it was a bonus that the shade looked great on him.

When he was done with the make-up, he took off his clothes. He took the first smaller bag from the bed and took the contents out: dusty rose, silky under-bust corset with hard metal bones keeping it in shape and panties, both decorated with lace. He felt the fabric between his fingers. The lace felt rough against his fingertips, just as it had all those years ago. It made his arousal raise its head again.

He set the corset on the bed and took the panties in his hands, admiring them for a moment first. He bit his lip while he looked at himself in the mirror as he pulled the panties up and tucked his dick in them. They could barely hold him in because he was so hard already – again.

He opened the other small bag and pulled out a pair of thin, thigh-high white socks. He rubbed the fabric between his fingers. It was slippery and delicate. He sat on the bed and pulled them on one by one. They had sticky lines of something inside the upper part of the sock that kept them up. He touched the smooth surface of his leg with his fingers. Just a moment ago, it had been rough and hairy, and now smooth as silk.

Then he took the biggest bag and pulled out a pair of pink pumps with five-inch heels. He’d tried them on a few times. At first, he had barely managed to stand up and taking any steps had been impossible without wobbling or almost breaking his ankles. But soon he’d learned that he had to take each step with conviction, heel first. Not that he had walked anywhere else, but in the small space in the middle of his room. But walk a small space back and forth enough many times and you master the art.

He'd put them on last, though. Because it was time for the main attraction.

Taking the corset from the bed and looking at it brought a small smile to his face. He'd waited for this for so long. He loosened the laces and pulled it on. It sat right on his hips. He turned away from the mirror to keep himself from coming too soon and tried to remember how to adjust the laces in the back to make it fit. He had to adjust them a few times before it did.

He took the gloves from the table and pulled them on. They made his arms silky smooth, just like the socks did to his legs.

The last thing was the bracelet. He struggled a little with the lock now that the gloves made his fingers a little more clumsy, but he finally managed it.

Then he turned to look at himself in the mirror – and was overcome with emotions.

His face looked so nice with the makeup. Seeing his painted lips and thinking about kissing through the mirror made him shiver. If he could kiss himself right now, he would, with no hesitation.

He moved his gaze lower and ran his fingers over the bones of the corset. It wasn't as tight as it should've been, but it was tight enough that he'd had to struggle a little when he tried to breathe. He cupped his hand around his other pec and squeezed it. The nipple hardened at the touch of the smooth surface of his gloves and he teased it a little with his finger, forcing a heavy breath out of his mouth.

His dick twitched in the panties, making the fabric stretch around it. The panties weren't a perfect fit, obviously, and having his dick tucked in in its hardened state was painful – though in a good way. He could take it for the sake of the show. It was all so worth it.

He couldn’t help but to let his gaze linger between the corset and the panties. He looked good in them in a whole different way he hadn’t expected. It had been so many years since the incident at his aunt’s that his memory of it had faded a bit. Now he was about to get some new images to remember.

Finally, he could draw his gaze away from his torso and moved lower to admire the panties that were straining under the size of his hard-on. He could see his red and aching dick through the lace in them. He looked lower still at the rose-colored socks that made his legs feel so smooth. The upper parts of the socks had big, also rose-colored, bows on the side, and even that tiny detail felt nice. Felt right.

And how beautiful his feet were in the lethal heels. His toes were visible through the open ends, but being clad in those socks, they, too, looked nice.

Feminine. Pretty.

He looked and felt pretty. He’d never been allowed to feel like that. Pimping and pruning himself had always been just something faggots did, according to Neil. And if his normal routine had been too much for Neil, seeing him now would’ve made Neil explode.

But here, far away, now, he could finally feel it, to look and feel feminine and pretty.

And it was everything.

He turned around and looked at his back in the mirror over his shoulder.

The way the laces pulled the corset to hug his shape, the way the hem of the panties curved over his ass and how the heels made his whole ass stand out in a whole new way. The posture made his shins look really nice, too.

A dirty thought of him wanting to fuck himself penetrated his mind. Girls did nothing to him, but this? This did so many things to him.

Seeing the feminine garments, the shoes, the bracelet, the make-up – everything – he would’ve fucked himself right there and then if he could have. That, if anything, felt wrong, but the longer he looked at himself from different angles, it also felt good.

And today, and all the times in the future, he would no longer be coming to a faded image or feelings that were sparked by something that happened far back in the past. Now, he could make it special whenever he wanted, to see himself wearing it all again and again, lingerie and make-up, to come to the feeling of being pretty in a feminine way – that was as close as he could ever be to fuck himself, and he was okay with that.

Maybe one day he could show all this to someone who would understand. Maybe he could then be fucked by that someone while they called him pretty...

There was a sudden, hard knock on his door that made him wince.

“Hey, Hargrove, Max is here. She says you had promised to take her somewhere.”

Oh shit.

::::::::::

Continue reading on AO3 >>

#harringrove #harringrove fic #billy hargrove #steve harrington #lemon #billy x steve #steve x billy #lemons #stranger things fanfiction

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softxsuki · 1 year

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Oh, that's not good. But I'm glad you're feeling a little better. I honestly admire how hard you work. But don't forget to breaks too! It's important that you take care of yourself.

I'm good, thank you! I had a decent day, but I'm looking forward to going to sleep since I'm pretty tired. I'm also looking forward to seeing all the Valentine's Day Letters for your event! I really like your writing and the fact that you're writing for one of my favorite characters makes me even more excited.

I think I might write a little before I go to sleep.

Remember to get enough rest before tomorrow!

-💥Anon

Thank you 🥹 I went to bed pretty early last night so I’m all rested up today!

Omg thank you, you always flatter me 😭😭💗 I’m gonna start posting some in a second. But tbh I’m still writing a few bc I’m the biggest procrastinator ever 😍. I’m having fun writing these tho. I didn’t realize how similar a lot of the requests were tho 😂 lots of friends to lovers this year! But m glad you had a good day!

Have a wonderful day today 💗

#han’s 💥anon

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thewingedwolf · 1 year

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omg i can’t tell anyone this but i have to tell SOMEONE rn so i’m telling u guys about this crazy ass shit at work, and when i say “crazy ass” i mean “is this one of those precursor moments where someone says ‘the signs were all there to stop the shooter but no one did anything and now he’s murdered a dozen people’” kind of crazy ass shit LISTEN

so i can’t remember how detailed i got but basically during a meeting of a committee for one our programs, which involves us having themes every month that every department (av, teen, ra, and reference (non fiction)) makes a list of items to promote, someone suggested “intro to romance” as in, The Genre romance. so one girl says “oh i love romance” and another says, a friend of mine, let’s call her emma, “i hate romance” and then a third, my friend as well, jokingly says “rani doesn’t read romance books with men in them” and i said “yeah when i read romance, it’s only lesbian romance” and then we moved on to ask if reference had enough books to fit that as a topic

i come into work to an email saying i’m being investigated for sexual harassment. there is no context, just “you are being investigated.” takes a phone call with our union rep, and like 3 or 4 with the steward before they finally figure out what it’s about. i write down my memory of it immediately as detailed as i can while it’s still fresh. it takes two weeks before i get a meeting with the director. i recount the memory. she says that i am quoted as saying “i hate men *laughs* all men *laughs again* no seriously i hate all men * laughs again*” i said i never said that, they said even if it was a joke it still counts i say again, i never said that.

a week later, we get all the info regarding who accused me - it was the only person in the room who didn’t speak, a man, let’s call him andrew. mid 30s, married with a kid, ex military. he seemed nice, he works with the kids & he likes to do funny voices when he reads & build crafts. well, the next day he goes to the director and writes out this two page screed about how the subject turned to “gay romances” and he got uncomfortable, and then i said i hated men. and how offensive and bigoted it was to say such a thing and how he would hope the library would deal with bigotry like this properly.

it’s another week before we meet with the mayor. the director brings FOUR LAWYERS. they say i have a history of insubordinate behavior and i should be terminated immediately. the following exchange occurs:

union rep: just so you know, the employee uses they/their pronouns.

lawyer, slightly panicked: oh we didn’t realize!

another lawyer, lips practically on the mic: i noticed you were using, was that Mx? to refer to the employee? let me make a note of that.

the mayor: im sorry, how were they supposed to know that? how was i supposed to know that? what does that have to do with anything?

union rep: simply correcting the pronoun usage, that’s all.

the mayor: no you know what that tells me? it tells me she’s going to continue to be a problem.

i got put on 2 weeks leave without pay. they appealed it, the mayor upheld the suspension, the union pushed it to arbitration. our union rep is suddenly given a new, lateral position somewhere else. we get a new guy, and he sends another email saying he’s pushing this to arbitration.

i left that job around valentine’s day. i was obviously losing my mind, you can look at all my text posts from then, lmao, and i’ve got a new job and it seems okay so far and i will survive just fine.

SO THEN. a friend that still works there, amy from the meeting, told me this weekend that andrew was working the same time as her that day. the library has a live chat service and he messages amy on there (instead of like, through an email or something) “is there anything you can use as a weapon around you” and she’s like “bitch what the fuck.” then he sends the same message to the girl whose working the desk next to her. she says “hey andrew” bc she’s the sweetest angel in the world but amy is like “BITCH STOP THATS A WEIRD FUCKING QUESTION TO ASK UNPROMPTED” and the precious angel does realize it’s weird, but she’d already said something so she typed “that’s an odd question. why do you ask?” they get no reply. then, SEVERAL HOURS LATER, amy is at the desk alone, and andrew comes down two whole floors to go ask amy, again, just walked up to the desk and asked “what around you would you use as a weapon?” she goes “very weird question andrew.” and he goes “huh” and leaves. she tells precious angel, and they agree they need to tell the manager. so today, amy walks in and the manager is sitting with precious angel, who cuts amy off to say “oh he messaged back.” so amy reads the message he *only* sent to ang, and it says

“sorry for late reply, with the way i was feeling that day, i asked everyone this question in case a situation were to occur but luckily it didn’t” and my friend was like bullshit, and she let the manager read his original question, then his reply, and the manager was like “NO THATS WEIRD AS SHIT” and prints it out and goes to the director.

well apparently the director first says andrew wants to do a “gun safety class” for TWEENS as a program, and asks the manager his opinion, and the manager is like “no comment, can we focus” and she pushes him AGAIN about how it’s a good idea and he goes “no comment can we focus”

so she finally says that andrew’s manager already talked to him and let him know it was creepy. his manager comes in, apparently looks super embarrassed and apologizes for andrew’s behavior. amy’s manager goes downstairs, pulls her into his office and tells her all this because he desperately needed to call the director a bitch for saying she doesn’t want to do drag story time but will do gun safety for kids and please let this bitch do this program so he can tell all his bougie liberal friends and they can make a big stink about it. lmao, he was pissed, they were both talking about how bizarre all this is, and then andrew calls and says he wants to come talk to them. manager is like “yeah sure” puts the phone down and is like “this boy better not set himself for an intimidation charge by coming down here himself holy shit” but andrew comes down. he has typed up an apology he wants to read to them. he gives them both a paper copy. in his apology, he says that with all that’s been happening [something did happen im not saying what bc i don’t want to like, self dox or whatever aksjd but there was some nonsense going on but nothing came of it] he wanted to be sure that everyone was thinking clearly and being more aware, and that he’s “sorry if either of you two took offense at what i said.” both the manager and my friend felt it was a patronizing apology and were like “we get that you’ve been in the military and been deployed but the vast majority of people haven’t and asking about shit like that unprompted is threatening and you need to acknowledge that.” andrew side steps actually acknowledging he did anything wrong, then leaves.

SO YEAH THATS WHAT HAPPENED. AM I RIGHT TO THINK THIS IS KIND OF NUTS???

#work tag #i feel like i’m losing my mind omg

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biglisbonnews · 1 year

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What You Missed at New York Fashion Week (According to Linux) This is What You Missed Last Month (According To Linux), in which nightlife it-girl Linux takes us behind the velvet rope and into the VIP section of Scene-City. Through her extreme (sometimes exaggerated) lens, Linux gives us the tea on what really happened at every party-of-the-century that floods our Instagram feeds. (A note from the author: don’t take what she says too seriously — she’s just a club kid after all).They say, “all’s fair in love and war,” which must be why each February all New Yorkers’ rules of candor are tossed into the trash. What are the odds that the two most brutal yearly happenings, Fashion Week and Valentine’s Day, happen in the same month? How on Earth does one balance the two? Not so fast investing all your energy into securing a mans for that candle-lit dinner at The Nines — you’ve got a Vogue party to go to! Good luck dedicating your paycheck to buying your new lover some diamonds — you’ve also got to go to Loewe and buy your own look for their party you’re crashing. (We all know the PR girl who sent you the flyer at the afters last week is never texting you back, in fact she’s probably fired by now!) The only foolproof way for an it-kid to garner triumph in February’s affairs of love and war is simple: Throw those morals right out the window! Have to text your besties nemesis who handles reservations at Indochine? She won’t forgive you, but at least you’ll have an entree to IG-Story on the 14th! Do you so badly want to go to the [Redacted Cancelled Fashion Designer] show but you’re worried about your reputation? Diet Prada posts ten times a day, this too shall pass!And don’t worry, my curious readers. While the despicable Socialites and Fashionistas of 10001 spent 28 days backstabbing and trampling over one another towards victory in love & war... your favorite journalist (me!) tagged along. All month I lurked in the shadows, disguised as the scenesters we love to hate, and quietly attended each and every New York happening. As a servant of truth, I’ve brewed all the tea that went down at these scandalous hotspots... and honey: it’s scalding! Rest assured that I, Linux, the New York Downtown It-Girl, am nothing like them… I’m one of you! I didn’t even want to be at these mega-fabulous celebrity-filled parties. This was all for… uh… research purposes! February 9: Christian Siriano See on Instagram Every New York Fashion Month starts with a visit from Christian Siriano. We know it, we expect it, we love it. Project Runway star Christian Siriano invited the who’s who of who’s left to Gotham Hall to show off his Fall 2023 collection. I could tell you all about the floral fashions that stomped down his runway but I know you’re really here for the front row! I was plopped next to the usual Nightlife/Fashion Crew, seated next to queens like Gottmik and CT and nightlife cool kids Leigh Lezark, Austin Smith and Ty Sunderland. After the NY-C-List got settled in, a swam of flashing photographers around a redhead at the entrance alerted all of us that the real stars had arrived. Taking a closer look, we realized it was none other than Lindsay Lohan. Yes... Lindsay Lohan! What a gag. After millions of photographs, Lindsay was quickly escorted to her seat next to us where we all one by one whispered to one another “omg…I can’t believe... Lindsay Lohan!” After the Hollywood legend sat down and her show ended, the fashion show began. New York legend Dianne Brill, however, did not make it to her seat in time, but all of Gotham Hall got to admire her head-to-toe ensemble and self-emblazoned “BRILL” clutch from our seats.After the final look came down the runway and the crowd applauded for Christian, we piled into a Siriano Sprinter van and headed to the afterparty at the Edition Times Square. There, Gottmik performed something Y2K (this was a month ago, how should I remember?) and Ty Sunderland DJ’d something even more Y2K. Somehow hours went by and by 8 PM I was on the Edition terrace in Times Square drunk out of my mind chain-smoking with Lindsay Lohan and a bunch of talent managers. No matter how many jokes I told... I did not get a gig! (But Lindsay did laugh.)February 10: Dion Lee AfterpartyIf anyone in the scene is an enigma wrapped in a riddle and cash, it’s Dion Lee. The Australian designer was first introduced to me in my Bushwick home at one of my many COVID-era raves. Since meeting, I’ve seemed to run into him anywhere the BPM passes 140; at too-cool hotspots such as Unter, the green rooms at Basement or the 10 AM yurt afters at Nowadays. It’s easy to find him around — that is, besides during Fashion Week. I reached out, as I do every season, to attend his show and afterparty to no avail. After weeks of radio silence, I finally took the hint that it was a big N-O. Most with a speck of pride would give up... but honey, I am more than a chimp with a typewriter. I am Linux and this is The Nightlife Bible. The only thing that will without fail get my party-crashing ass to attend an event is telling me I can’t go! I’m sure my invite just got lost in the mail. On Fashion Week Friday, Dion Lee invited everyone (besides me!) to Boom Boom Room to celebrate his Fall 2023 show. Everyone in NYC with a functioning ketamine habit pooled into the Standard Hotel elevators and up to the top floor to party with the designer. If you’re a routine reader of mine (as I’m sure you are) then you’ve come along with me to countless events at this venue. If you’re new here: it’s where Solange and Jay-Z got in that fight! But what made this night different from most at Boom Boom Room was that, instead of being filled with LA celebrities or the entire Vogue office, the congregation mainly consisted of Bushwick ravers and transgender Parisian supermodels. Simply put: the crowd was cunt. The room was packed, but thankfully there was no wait at the open bar, as most attendees were likely dosing GHB. Around midnight, the bartenders began clearing the unused bar, which hinted that whoever was about to perform would be converting it to something with more value: a stage. Finally, as the music cut off and we heard her iconic voice, the secret show was revealed to be Azealia Banks. In seconds, the most talented person to come out of New York City hopped onto the bar in a two-piece army green number and began performing for us. One thing about Dion Lee is he will always align himself with talent, and Banks rapping at his afterparty was no exception. By the end of “New Bottega,” the tranquilizer crowd did their best to applaud, and the K-gods spoke to me in my thoughts, letting me know it was time to go. In fact, by 2 AM I don’t know if anyone there even knew where they were! Kudos to Dion for throwing a fashion week party that only I will probably remember. All I could keep thinking to myself that night was, All these people got invited and not me? But as I write this now, I am immediately reminded that it’s because I write party reviews like this!February 11: Honey Dijon Teksupport See on Instagram There’s nothing I love more than going to a non-Fashion Week party smack-dab in the middle of Fashion Week. Long-running production team Teksupport is no stranger to throwing killer parties. For as long as I can remember, Teksupport has been one of the few bumpin’ bashes for breeders this city has to offer. For a full week in February, Teksupport put together a lineup of iconic DJ’s including Diplo, Bedouin and Honey Dijon. Out of those three, the standout evening was easily that which belonged to Honey Dijon. The event took place at The Glasshouse, an innovative venue boasting floor-to-ceiling windows and unobstructed 360-degree views of the Manhattan skyline. The city was especially excited to see Dijon as this was the fashion-icon and DJ’s first New York appearance since being awarded a Grammy for her part in Beyoncé’s Renaissance. I had hundreds of Fashion Week things going on that day, but that didn’t stop me from arriving promptly at 11 PM. I was quickly reminded just how straight Teksupport parties are. Thankfully, however, Honey Dijon was in the building to save us all. For two hours, Mother played her best heavy-hitting house for the thousands of attendees on the top floor of The Glasshouse. Dijon’s talent combined with Teksupport’s otherworldly skill in lighting and sound made for the ultimate New York night to remember. Needless to say, it was the best homecoming a girl could ask for... Honey Dijon said so herself!February 15: Paul's Dolls' One-Year See on Instagram After 52 weeks straight of throwing a party meant for the girls, gays and theys, the night had finally come to celebrate a whole goddamn year of my weekly party: Paul’s Dolls. I remember when I first spoke to you, my fabulous readers, about Paul’s Dolls last spring. At that point, I had only the slightest idea of what this party could become. Wednesday after Wednesday I joined forces with the most notable New York kids to help bring this night to life... and girl did it work! At Paul Sevigny’s nightclub Paul’s Casablanca in the heart of Hudson Square, everyone who’s anyone got together to celebrate my baby turning one. I think what this city loves so much about Dolls is it isn’t too stuffy or uptight. To so many, this night could only be described as a Weekly Downtown House Party. When a Drag Race girl is in town? They go to Paul’s Dolls. When Fashion House is in town? (Mugler, I’m looking at you!) They go to Paul’s Dolls. Bitch, even fucking Snooki goes to Paul’s Dolls! Somehow the vibe is so correct that you totally forget you’re at a bitchy nightlife menace’s ego-stroke! So with that, I’d like to end this month with something different: a thank-you. Every week you’ve managed to show up and show out at my very first solo weekly, and I’ve been moved. Seeing your glittering faces each week at Paul’s Dolls and experiencing such a magical night with you all so often is a total honor. When it comes to Paul’s Dolls I know one thing’s for certain... you definitely didn’t miss it! Photography and styling: Airik Prince Art direction: Chris Correa Dress and gloves: Christian CowanShoes: Pissy PussyScarf: Adrienne LanduaGlasses: Smiley GoodsJewelry: Heart of Bone https://www.papermag.com/linux-what-you-missed-nyfw-2659607821.html

#What you missed last month #Fashion week #Nyfw #Linux #Nightlife #Christian siriano #Dion lee #Honey dijon #PAPER

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servin-up-surveys · 2 years

Text

survey #007

(from last night; tumblr was being an ass and wouldn’t let me post, rip)

What was the last thing you laughed at? Something Girt said, I'm certain. He's a goof. Do you know anyone personally who has committed murder? No. Do you use temper glass phone screen protectors? No. Have you ever cracked your phone screen badly?No. Would you ever take up pole dancing as a hobby? No, not even if I had a body I was comfortable with. It's beautiful, though. What do you do when you start to feel depressed or really down? Most often I'll try to watch something funny or anything that's like a "comfort" thing for me, like a certain let's play or just video in general. Do you do positive affirmations daily? No. Do you enjoy glitter or find it to be a nuisance? Both. Would you ever want to be a politician? Absolutely not. Have you ever seen a wolf in person? At the zoo, yes. They were always WAY in the back though, in the shade. If my memory serves me right, they're actually the nearly extinct red wolves and are therefore immensely rare, which makes me just wanna get a good look at them more. Are you currently doing something else besides this survey? I'm listening to music. What’s the fastest you’ve ever driven? Idk, not too fast. When I did drive, Mom would freak out if I went like two over the speed limit. Do you play games on your phone? Occasionally, but not a whole lot. I do try to get my daily Pokemon GO spawn, though. Only one is set to spawn over my house every day, cries. Would you rather do without sweet or salty snacks? Salty, I think. But both are great, so this question sucks. Do you enjoy buying gifts for others? I absolutely would if I had money TO buy people gifts. Fucking sucks, mine and my boyfriend's anniversary isn't that far away and I already worry I'm not going to be able to get him anything. I would sob, I already couldn't get him shit for his birthday, Christmas. or Valentine's Day. Wow I fucking suck. Is acting something you’d enjoy? Are you convincing? No, I'm way too awkward about it. I've only acted well once in my life, when me, my sister, and two of our friends were volunteering at a haunted hayride-type thing and at one point I did this maniacal laugh from my hiding spot that no one believed was me lmaooo. Have you ever lost control of a car? ASLKJDFHAKWEJFOAWER NO DON'T SAY THAT What’s your thoughts on people having selfies as their phone backgrounds? ... I don't care...? It's not my preference for me, but like??? it's their phone??????????? I didn't realize people HAD opinions on this. What is your phone background of? My lock screen is my favorite piece of work by online artist NukeRooster, which I've been planning for years and years and years to get tatted one day on my upper left arm. It's there because one, #aesthetic, and two, I guess it's sorta motivational for me to see it regularly and work towards being able to afford such a tattoo. My home screen is some simple space art with a 3D red/blue texture. Are the Olympics something you get into? Not at all. What did you get your first award for? Idk, either something for academic excellence like honor roll or just participation stuff for childhood sports. Does it bother you when people use all caps or all lower case letters? All caps (except for reasonable, occasional emphasis), yes. All lower case doesn't bug me at all. Would you or have you ever dyed your hair blue? I never have and probably won't. Could you climb the monkey bars now like you did as a kid? No way in hell. I wasn't even good at those as a kid. Have you ever dyed your eyebrows to match your hair? No. What’s your favorite shower/bath product? Omg my friend/related-by-marriage family Summer got me this little Lush giftbox for Christmas, and while I've only used (and finished) the body wash, it was INCREDIBLE. Quality stuff and the smell was absolutely amazing. Also it had a really great color to it and it made me feel like a big ol' truck in a car wash using the colorful soap. :') When was the last time you looked out of a window? Literally just a second ago. The neighbor across the street got home, and I saw the car appear out of the corner of my eye so just naturally turned to look at the movement. How many stitches have you had in your lifetime? I've had to get stitches at least twice that I remember, but I don't recall exactly how many I needed. Have you suffered from depression? I was diagnosed with it around the 7th grade, and it's never left. I've just gotten better at coping. Do you like rap music? No. Do you have a favorite day of the week? No, they're all very much the same to me. How much money do you regularly spend on groceries? I'm not about to ask my mother that, it's not my business and I feel like shit I can't help with them anyway. Has anyone ever pinched you for not wearing green on St. Patrick’s Day? Ugh, yes. I hate that shit. I have always been extremely sensitive to pinches, like I will actually bruise, doesn't matter how "gentle" you think you're being. Are there any bands you wish would get back together? Oh, I'm certain there are some that I'm just not thinking of right now. OH! Is Linkin Park actually still a... thing without Chester? I honestly don't think I want a singer that isn't him, he was too iconic, but I still miss their music. What are your favorite fast food restaurants? Some are Sonic, Bojangle's, Wendy's, and McDonald's (don't @ me shut up). How about least favorite? Arby's takes the fucking cake, that shit is so gross. I also don't like KFC, and Burger King isn't great. I also boycott Chick-fil-a as a business because they're homophobic + transpobic pieces of absolute garbage. I genuinely want their CEO to burn in hell. What kind of cereal did you have last? I had the chocolate chunk type of Special K for breakfast. Would you rather, on a dare, eat an insect or kiss a stranger? Eat an insect ig. I guess it would depend on like, what bug though. I don't want to do either, but kisses are a very "reserved for only who I love" sort of thing for me personally. What’s the last thing that made you feel sad? Ummm I dunno. Do you like spaghetti sauce or just butter and cheese over noodles? I strongly prefer sauce. What type of novels do you enjoy reading? Ones with a fantasy basis. Would you ever get your nose pierced? Yes, I want it repierced, actually. I'd prefer a stud, but those just have NOT worked for me as far as staying in my nose when I sleep on my damn face, so I'll be getting a hoop this time. so it won't come out and I lose it every morning. What was the last song you listened to? "Morgenstern" by Rammstein. Maybe one day I'll listen to more music than just them again lmaooo What do you think of having religion in schools? Optional course? Fine. But if it in ANY way infiltrates into mandatory curriculum? Fuck that. I'm looking at you, parents that get tilted over schools teaching evolution versus your bedtime stories relating to a pair of all conceivable animals fitting on a fucking ark and repopulating with such diversity. Have you ever accidentally sent a text to a person you were talking about? It's possible? Idr. Is there anything going to get released soon that you’re looking forward to? RE4 REMAKE NEXT MARCH BABYYYYYYY *sobbing emoji* Do you have a fan in the room you’re in? Yes. What’s something you wish you liked but you don’t? Vegetables, lol. Do you use a baby voice when talking to animals? Um, duh. Would you say your parents put too much pressure on you? No. My parents are very understanding of the limiting problems that I deal with. What’s for dinner today? I don't know. Not very worried about it, I'm not hungry whatsoever rn. What game did you play most as a kid? I played the HELL out of the original Spyro The Dragon trilogy PS1 games, especially the second and third. Do you like the scent of gasoline? Omg no, I loathe it. It gives me a headache. What’s something you’ve been made fun of for before? I REALLY do not want to think and linger on this question because of my hypersensitivity to rejection/judgment/this general vibe. What is something you need to work on? God, a lot. This is another I just don't wanna dwell on. What movie or show has scared you the most? The horror movie The Rite bc especially when you're a religious teenager and watch a movie where Satan rapes and impregnates an innocent woman, I mean, that's gonna fuck you up. Do you support the Supreme Court in trying to overturn Roe vs Wade? (banning all abortions in the USA) Nope, I'd like to burn their fucking building to the motherfucking ground. What’s the best gift anyone could give you? Covering the cost of a tattoo, haha. If you’re pale, do you get made fun of for it? Only by family in a very non-hurtful way. Are you white/black/asian/mexican/etc? I'm Caucasian. Did your family move to America from another country? Not my IMMEDIATE family, no. Ancestors, obviously. Ever known anyone who did business with a prostitute? Not that I'm aware of, no. Are your real parents divorced? If your parents are divorced, how old are your step-parents? Do you like your step-parents, or are they assholes? Yes; my mom has never really dated since, but my dad is re-married, and she's... well. Very Christian. She wouldn't even move in with my dad until they were married for religious reasons. She's nice and has always been kind and sweet to me, but being FB friends and knowing how she feels about many serious topics... oh god. Oh yeah, and I'm unsure about her exact age, but I know she's just a couple years younger than Dad. Were you adopted? If so, have you met your biological parents? How about biological siblings or grandparents? N/A [TW: ABUSE] Ever had an abusive parent or other family member? If so, what’s the worst they did? I'm very thankful that I don't. Got any step siblings? If so, how many? Are they annoying or cool? Dad's wife has one son named Michael, but I don't really see him as my "brother" like at all. He is super, super reclusive and even when I'm at the house, you don't see him much. I don't not like him, he's just like this one big walking question mark. Ever walked in on your parents while they were getting busy? If so, how many times and how old were you? LISTEN it's practically impossible for me to imagine my parents doing anything even remotely intimate ever and I'm satisfied with it that way. How many siblings do you have? How old are they, and what are their names? Do they have the same hair color and eye color as you? ... Oh wow, this reminded me today is actually my oldest sister's birthday, haha. Katie is now 30-... something. She is the literal spitting image of Mom, like you put them beside each other and the resemblence is fuckin scary lmao, so their features are the same, and in turn mostly similar to mine, I just have blue eyes while theirs are brown. Bobby is also in his 30s and might have blue eyes? Idk. I actually don't remember what his hair color even is since he's been mostly without hair for a long-ass time. I'm quite sure it's brown? Then Misty is 30-something too, and her hair is black with eyes a color I don't recall. Probably brown. Ashley (28) and Nicole (24) both have brown hair as well, ours all practically identical in color, and they have brown eyes. I don't know how Tiffany looks or how old she is, but older than Misty I know, so in her 30s. Ever had to take care of a baby sibling? If you did, did you feel responsible, or were you just annoyed? No; Nicole and I are too close in age for me to really do that. We were very close as kids though and played all the time together. Do you like children, or do they piss you off? "Piss me off" is a very strong phrase... I don't really like kids, and yet at the same time I do with their purity and innocence and always believing in what is good. They're just toomalleable for me. Like even with my nieces and nephew, I obsess over saying and doing things perfectly because I don't want to bend how they think or see things in a bad way. Children in general are also just fucking exhausting and require an amount of fuel I absolutely never have. Think you’ll ever have kids of your own one day? No. From the bottom of my heart I truly feel like me trying to be a mother would end with me killing myself. There are times I think I might want one or two, but it's just simply not smart. Have you ever had a close friend get knocked up early? II don't think so, no. I know that's a weird answer, but I to this day do not know if my very good friend in HS named Alon was the same girl who did have a baby in middle school. I remember them looking similar, but I just really don't know. I never asked her because it wasn't my business, and if it WAS her, I didn't want to stir up bad memories or anything. Have you yourself ever gotten close to getting pregnant? No. There was this short period where my good friend Anxiety had me freaking out that I MIGHT be because I missed my period that month, even though my dumb ass was a virgin (barely, but w/e). It was such a legitimate fear that even Jason knew, and on god I wish that man had called me insane lmao If you were to get pregnant as a teen, what would happen? Well, I was very pro-life then (I know, it nauseates me too), so ig I'd have a kid running around. Mom would've certainly helped out with raising it, probably a bit too much if I'm honest with y'all. It's questions like these that make me immensely happy I DID abstain from sex as a teenager because I was a fucking stupid and impulsive kid that would have to be in contact with the man associated with my trauma. Maybe I never would have healed. God, all that would be an ugly life. Do you know if anyone in your family ever got knocked up as a teen? I'm *pretty* sure Mom had Katie when she was 19? Maybe... For some reason that sounds right. Do you prefer baby boys or baby girls? Girls, generally.

#survey #surveys #random questions

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denkamis · 3 years

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Can you please write a fluff one shot about a sk8 the infinity like his girlfriend/boyfriend/s/o falls asleep on him

to anon: omg first request omgomg thank you so much for sending one in! i wasn’t sure which sk8 character you were referring to, so i decided to write one for both reki and langa! hope you don’t mind hehe <3 this is the one for reki, the one for langa will take a little bit longer bc of valentine’s & other requests but i hope you like this one regardless!

warnings: none, just some fluffy times with the best boy. reader is gn!

word count: 1.3k

sleepyhead. (reki x reader)

Late nights were certainly not a rare occurrence with your boyfriend, Reki. He was filled to the brim with energy and passion that practically flowed out of him like a geyser. Not that you were opposed to that at all, you found that it was one of the qualities that made you fall for him in the first place. Though, you worried that he wasn’t taking into consideration his own personal health during these late night excursions. Take for instance tonight, as it was slowly approaching two thirty am, it seemed that the redhead had no clear intention of stopping his work.

The two of you were cooped up in his workshop behind his house, Reki singing along to some “cool jams” as he called them. In reality, it was his Spotify playlist of the “best 2000’s alternative” music like Sk8er Boi by Avril Lavigne and Dear Maria, Count Me In by All Time Low. You were barely hanging onto your string of consciousness, the mere idea of sleep sounding like absolute heaven at this very moment. You were propped up on a stool in the corner, the stack of skating magazines Reki had given you to flick through in case you got bored now sat in a neat pile off to the side. You had read each one of them front to back twice already tonight.

It wasn’t that you didn’t love spending time with Reki. You enjoyed listening to his midnight ramblings of whatever came to mind. His ideas for new boards, designs for stickers, and other creative ways to beat his future S opponents were usually his topics of interest. No one really noticed how much of an imaginative person your boyfriend was. He could be impulsive and over excited at times, but his fantastic mind and his willingness to create made your heart soar. Not only that, but he was fairly handy when it came to fixing up and assembling his own boards like he was some mad scientist waiting for one of his many experiments to go right. You indulged him as much as you could, you really did enjoy his company. Even if you would much rather be curled up beside him snuggling in bed rather than hear Reki precariously make his way through the lyrics of Check Yes Juliet for what seemed like the seventh time.

“Reki,” you spoke up finally as the analog clock on the wall indicated the current time of two forty-three am. Reki looked up from Langa’s custom longboard, hair bouncing about despite already being contained by the headband he wore everyday. “Yeah?” he asked, throwing a glance over his shoulder only to see your weary eyelids and tired expression. His entire demeanour melted, lips jutted out in a tiny pout upon seeing his poor baby so tired.

He backed away from his worktable, dancing and tiptoeing across the floor to avoid stepping on any spare parts or tools he had left lying about his mishmash of a workshop.

“Is baby tired?” he cooed, sawdusted fingers beginning to tug and pinch at the corners of your cheeks. You groaned in annoyance, your sleep deprived state causing you to be a tad more irritable at this hour. “Reki,” you repeated in a more serious tone, ember coloured irises meeting your e/c ones. His calloused hands moved to cup your face, warmth enveloping you in a way that felt like home. The scent of pine and the remnants of orange crush soda invaded your senses. He smiled at you with that goofy face of his, the one that Langa constantly teased for being weird. Maybe it was your sleepy nature, but he looked even more gorgeous in the harsh LED lighting of his garage. Tiny strands of his auburn hair fell in front of his face as he tilted his head to the side, his smile growing as he watched your eyes begin to droop.

“Please. Let’s go to bed,” you asked of him as kindly yet firmly as you could. Reki clicked his tongue a bit, thinking for a moment before delivering a cute peck to your nose. “A few more minutes! Then we can head inside, grab a cookie or two and crawl into bed together! It’ll be just a jiffy okay? Here, you can even set an alarm,” Reki was already reaching for his phone in his hoodie pocket so that you could do just as he suggested. He stopped in his tracks as he felt your hands clasp around his hoodie, pulling him close so that you could hug his torso. He laughed at how clingy you could be while being so sleepy, his hand patting atop your head as a form of affection.

“Wow, you really are.. sleeping,” Reki’s voice trailed off as he looked down to be greeted by you completely passed out against him. Your arms held your boyfriend close, your face buried within the fabric of his yellow skater boy hoodie. Soft snores escaped you, your breathing slowed and calm as you finally let your consciousness slip out of your ever fleeting grasp. Reki’s face began to bloom with colour the longer he stared at you, panic setting in as he realized what was truly happening.

You had fallen asleep against him. Oh shit. Oh god. You were asleep against him. That meant you were so comfortable that you just so happened to pass out in his arms. Reki bit back a giddy smile, warmth cascading through him in a form of nothing but love radiating solely for you at nearly three in the morning. His heart thumped rapidly against his rib cage. No matter how long he had been with you, he kept discovering new things about you that made him absolutely lose his mind. You falling asleep against him definitely being one of those many things. You looked so peaceful, so unbothered and safe within his embrace. This warmth you had given him overtook his will to keep working, his hands moving your hair out of the way of your face to kiss your forehead.

“Sorry for making you stay up, sweet baby,” he apologized in a quiet tone. His hands moved your arms to around his neck, using his strength to lift you up and wrap your legs securely around his waist. “I can’t say I’m not grateful for you being here for me, though. You could have left too, yet you stayed here for me,” Reki spoke to your sleeping form. The fact that you had stayed up with him this late made him even more grateful to have you. Reki grunted a bit as he adjusted to the newfound weight of you around him, your hair getting in his mouth and his eyes squinting to find the light switch so that he could flick it off before leaving. Reki was always careful with you, handling you as if you were a sort of glass figurine he barely even had the permission to touch.

“You look so damn cute like this, y’know,” he continued to speak as he maneuvered his way about his house, trying his best to subdue his footsteps and make as little noise as possible. He didn’t want to wake up his mom or little sisters. “Man, I’m so lucky. Seriously really lucky to have someone like you in my life.”

In your sleep, you subconsciously nuzzled your head against his chest. He melted a bit, holding back a tiny noise of happiness as he began to beam like an idiot holding his partner. You were the most amazing person, the person who made him happy every single day without fail, the person who picked him up no matter how much he bailed or got hurt. He loved you more than anything, and he wanted to treat you as well as you treated him. Even if it meant carrying you to bed after a late night of him talking your ear off about skateboarding for three consecutive hours.

all works © denkamis 2021.

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@meilbox

wanna be on the taglist? see this post!

#reki kyan #reki kyan x reader #reki x reader #sk8 the infinity #sk8 the infinity x reader #sk8 x reader #sk8 fluff #denkamis.oneshots #denkamis.requests

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erosia-rhodes · 3 years

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Top 9 Newbie thoughts on Supernatural after Six Months of Madness

I started watching Supernatural a week before the series finale, and full disclosure, it was only because I heard about the gay angel. I loved me some Good Omens, so I decided to check out a series my only previous thoughts about had been, "Is that show still on?" In the past six months, I've watched about fifty percent of the episodes scattered across all fifteen seasons. I've also spent time following the bonkers-in-the-best-way fandom on Tumblr, and here is what I have learned:

1) Everyone who loves Supernatural also hates Supernatural

No one is capable of praising this show without also trashing it. Supernatural is as awful as it is awesome. Watching Supernatural is like hate-fucking your nemesis against a wall; you're totally conflicted about it, but it's enormously pleasurable and you know you're going to do it over and over again. No one has a pure, untainted love for this show. They only have complicated emotions. This is because…

2) The fact that the show needs to be fixed is an essential part of its appeal

Strangely, if this show were better, it wouldn't be as popular. If you love a show that is perfect, you watch it once or twice or thrice, make a bunch of memes, and move on with your life two years later when you find something else to hyper-fixate on. If you love a show that's broken, you spend the rest of your life obsessed with fixing it. It's the crooked photo hanging on the wall that yearns to be straightened (because, you know, this show is bad at making things straight). It's the stray dog you know would be adoptable if you fattened it up and socialized it with your other dogs, and just like some people can't stop rescuing animals, Supernatural fans can't stop thinking about how to fix a show that isn't great, but could be with a flea bath and a trip to the groomers. Supernatural fans are not fans of the actual show, but of the show they imagine it could be, one that only exists in an alternate universe. They are in love with the Platonic ideal of Supernatural. That's also the reason why…

3) The fans understand the characters and themes better than 95% of the people who worked on the show

The people who watch Supernatural have thought about it way, way, way, more than anyone who produced it. I have read complex essays about what the color of people's clothing imply and how the state of the Impala reflects the state of Dean's mental health and other things I'm certain this show did not do intentionally. People can find depth in the shallowest aspects of this series. Any random fan could explain the complicated dynamics of the Winchester family and the overriding themes of the series better than most of the people who worked on it. That includes the LGBTQ stuff, which leads to the fact that…

4) The show is simultaneously too gay and not gay enough

On one end of the spectrum are fans who are offended you would dare to suggest one of the Winchesters might like kissing a boy and they'll shove you in a locker and duct tape your butt cheeks together for it. On the other end of the spectrum are fans who think it's odd that every episode doesn't end with two attractive men dry humping in a dark corner of the bunker library. No one is happy with the level of gayness on this show. It's always got too much "No Homo" or too much queer subtext, which is why I've concluded that…

5) The audience this show wanted is not the audience they got and they are resentful of it

The original pitch for this show targeted a male demographic who’s into toxic masculinity in a non-ironic way. It was about bros and beers and muscle cars and shotguns and hot chicks who will be killed to further the man's storyline. However, when making that show, they accidentally created a show that attracted female viewers who liked speculating about the queer subtext of each scene while looking at pretty men with traumatic backstories fight back their man tears. The show depends on the unintended audience segment to survive, but is bitter about it, which they remind you of time and time again by killing the female and non-white characters and toying with endless queer-baiting. It's like the writers got a plane to Rome, ended up in a gay nightclub in Amsterdam instead, and even though the canals and tulips make it a lovely city to visit, they wanted to go to Rome, damnit, and they'll never let you forget it! I also suspect that…

6) The people who made this show were at constant war with each other

This show has such a split personality. Sometimes it leans into the gay stuff and other times it makes fun of it outright. Sometimes they'll introduce an interesting side character that could make the show more diverse and then they'll slaughter that person for practically no reason. Sometimes they praise free will and other times they force people down pre-destined paths. The writers feel like a dysfunctional family stuck at Thanksgiving dinner endlessly squabbling with each other—who then had to write a TV show together over dessert. That's why it's such a weird hot mess. The show's unevenness makes me think that…

7) Some people's attachment to the show can only be explained by the fact that it imprinted on them when they were young

Some fans have mentioned they started watching Supernatural when they were kids. It's a pretty common experience to go back and watch things you loved when you were a kid and realize they were…not so good. Your memories of them are far better than the reality of them, but you cling to them anyway. The shows you watch when you're young imprint on you in a way you never forget. Supernatural fans are like a baby duck who looks up at a cat and assumes it’s their mother. Then that cat slices open their poor little hearts, leaving them wounded but not dead, forever be toyed with in agony. The only relief is that…

8) The fandom is batshit insane in the best way

I started following the Supernatural fandom on Tumblr in November of 2020 and OMG, it was AH-MAZE-ING. It was total insanity. I didn't understand half of what was going on, but it was more fun than a yard full of puppies doing zoomies. People were posting detailed PowerPoint presentations theorizing how the series would end, citing extensive physical evidence like the background in Misha's hotel room. People learned election results through Supernatural memes. Destiel went canon every other week. When the Spanish dub was released, Tumblr literally crashed! Obama's Twitter was following a Destiel account. There was a Twitter wedding for Destiel on Valentine's Day, which made the one-month anniversary on Pi Day.

It's been a ride, y'all. I have no idea how you guys survived fifteen years of this. The fandom has been so much fun that I actually sat down and watched more than 100 hours of this show so I could understand everything better. It's like the show is an extension of the fandom instead of vice versa. If anything sums up Supernatural for me, that's it. It's all about the fandom and the show is secondary to that. It's like the fans willed the show into existence as part of some partially botched spell. And part of that twisted spell is that…

9) The show will never die until someone finds its bones and burns them

This show has been off the air for more than six months now and it keeps trending on Tumblr consistently. Misha recently trended on Twitter simply because he was at the Oscars. That was it! He didn't even do anything there, he just attended, and some people figured it out by the reflection in a photo posted by someone else! And just as I was proofreading this post, Destiel started trending again because John Cena is a stan or something? This fandom is crazy and unpredictable and I love it like Dean loves pie! If there ever does come a time when this show stops trending, that will be the moment when they decide to reboot it or revisit it.

There is a lot more I could say about this show, but these were the elements that seemed most unique and bizarre about it. I wouldn't say Supernatural is a ride-or-die fandom for me, and I have no intention of watching another 100 hours of this series, but it's been hella' fun to drop in for a while. The show is just as much a dysfunctional mess as the Winchester family and I guess that's why people love it, right?

#supernatural #spn #dean winchester #sam winchester #castiel #jensen ackles #jared padalecki #misha collins #destiel #the cw #tv #television

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sunshineandbnha · 3 years

Text

Unexpected - Denki x reader (Valentine’s Day)

Word count: 3,978

Warnings: none, aside from a case of “Did not edit, just finished this this morning”

A/n: HOW DID THIS END UP SO LONG?? I swear, I started it with the idea and intention that it would be 1.4k or 1.9k words. How did I accidentally write two thousand more words? Anyway, I hope this is a good valentine fic for Denki boy. I thought of it due to a prompt on tumblr. If I can later remember who it was who made it, I will edit this and have a link to that post.

Edit: Found it. The prompt was made by @love-me-a-good-prompt

When was it you started to look at him differently?

"Hey!"

You looked over your shoulder to find Kaminari making his way past several students in the cafeteria to get to you. You turned your body to face him. Though, you felt awkward about still holding your lunchtray, as if it was a barrier between you and him.

"Do you got a date for tomorrow?" he asked with a grin.

Your heart gave a weep at the reminder of Valentine's day. As if the hearts and commercials all over the place weren't enough. "What do you think?"

"Just checking." He dashed to get his lunch tray he had set down, and sped walked to your side as you picked a table to sit at.

Kaminari had been your friend for several months. One day you had simply overheard him talking about a manga, the same one you had read, and you jumped into the conversation. After that, the both of you became easy friends, and frequently had lunch at the same table.

"Why would you even ask?” You slid into a seat at the table. “You know there's no one I'm really interested in."

"Except for fictional characters," he added while getting into his own chair across from you.

"Yeah. Unfortunately they aren't available for me to ask out."

He leaned back in his seat. “We’re really missing out on these things. I thought by the time I was in high school training to be a cool hero, I would have tons of girls who like me by now.”

“And I, for some reason, thought I would magically manifest a special someone. But that’s clearly not happening anytime soon.” You stared down while absent mindedly stirring your food.

He suddenly sat straight and looked at you with a twinkle in his eyes. The kind that told you he had an idea. "What if we did all of that classy Valentine's day stuff together?"

"I think you meant cliche."

"Banana, ba- ... oh wait, that's not how the saying goes."

You let out a large laugh and nearly choked on your food.

"Something with tomatoes or potatoes," he continued with a wave of his hand as if throwing away the topic. "Well, what do you think? You wanna do it?"

"You just want the chocolate, don't you?"

"No! I would never!" He waved his arms around. "... Well, that too."

"I knew it!" You lifted your fork/chopstick of food into air in triumph. "Just make sure you get my favorite chocolate once White Day rolls around."

"Sure thing!" He gave a thumbs up. "I'm sure I can get enough money by then!"

"You've been using all of it on manga and snacks again, haven't you?"

"What else would I use it on?"

"Okay. Just don't use the money for my chocolate on manga."

"If I did, It would be a great manga and be worth a lot more than some chocolate. Actually, that should be a thing. Instead of getting girls chocolate, get them manga! And we should get manga too. ... So, are we doing it?" he asked when he paused long enough to think.

"I don't know,” you shrugged while taking another bite.

He slammed his hand on the table. "But you said it like you did! I just agreed to get you chocolate next month!"

"I was saying if I agreed. If I agreed then you would have to get me chocolate.” You internally laughed at his response.

Kaminari slumped in his chair. "Okay, but my point is, how long have we been single? And it doesn't look like it's going to change anytime soon, so I was thinking why not we experience some of it while we're still in high school?"

"Hmmm," you tapped your finger against your lip. "Well, you have a point. And I guess I got nothing better to do tomorrow."

“So it’s a yes?” his eyes lit up.

“I guess so.”

“Yes!” He jumped up and some heads turned towards him. “I got a—!”

You hastily pulled him back down and got a hold of his ear. He yelped in pain before you shushed him. The attention he had gained was beginning to die down after doing that, much to your relief. You released a small puff of air, grateful that you didn’t feel like you were in a spotlight anymore.

“Kaminari,” you whispered into his ear, an edge present in your voice, “Don’t go announcing it to the world, especially if it’s not an actual date. Do not ruin it for me.”

You let go, and he got out of the awkward position of being pulled half way onto the table. Thankfully, he hadn’t landed in his food when you pulled him down. He settled back in his chair and rubbed his ear.

“Okay! You can count on me!”

Maybe it was a bad idea to suddenly agree when that meant you had to make chocolate for him that night. You already had some chocolate you bought from the store for family and friends. One of those giri chocos was originally going to be his, but now you would have to actually make him honmei choco if you were going to have the whole Valentine's Day experience. You considered skipping on that for a brief second, but you had already agreed to do it. Plus, you weren't sure if you would ever get to do this during high school at this rate. And you wanted to at least have done it once.

You'd have to run to the store to get better quality chocolate, a cute wrap for it, and a heart shaped mold. In order to save time, you went directly to the nearest store after school. It would save time, which you didn't have much of it. You didn't know how long it would take to make them, and you wanted some extra time in case you make a mistake and had to do something over again.

It was more crowded than you thought. You also didn't realize how many stares you would get just for being in your U.A. uniform. Thankfully, everything you needed was there and you made your way to the counter to pay. As you were weaving your way through the people, you thought you saw another student. You did a double take. Uniform. Pink skin. Ashido.

You tried to duck and hide, but it was too late.

"Oh, hey!" She waved you down and ran to you. A bag of purchased goods was hanging from her arm. "What are you doing here? Are you getting last minute giri choco too!"

“I, uh.”

“Hey, isn't that stuff to make chocolate? Wait a second… OMG! Who’s the lucky person!”

You nervously held the items close to you. This was why you didn't want her seeing you. "No one, really. I'm just... making it for the experience." You put a smile onto your face and did your best to make the last half of the sentence sound cheery.

It wasn't technically a lie. You just hoped she bought it. Because if she kept prying and learned it was for Kaminari, you would never hear the end of it.

"Okay. Can I have some when you're done?" She joked and bumped your arm with her elbow.

"Only if I didn't eat it all first." You internally high fived yourself for the quick reply.

"Okay. Well, see you at U.A." She waved before dashing out the door.

"Bye!" You watched her go. When she was out of view, you exhaled a breath you didn't know you were holding.

You stood nervously in the park. You wore a Valentine Day themed outfit you had put together, with the help of some ideas from the internet. It was 5:45 pm, the time you agreed on meeting. You had honestly expected him to be slightly late. Though it did nothing to make your feel less jittery.

There were quite a few people who also had the same idea of going to the park. Some friends playing Frisbee. A family walking by. And some couples. You scanned the area for him, multiple times, but still couldn't see him.

Why were you even so worried? This was your friend. It’s not like it was an actual date with someone you liked. If he forgot or something, you could just chew him out later. Then that 'what if' situation made you sick to your stomach and you forced yourself to stop thinking about it.

"Hey!"

You head turned up within a split second and you saw him. He wore a dark blue button up shirt. This plus his smile and hair... somehow made him look nice. A smile spread on your face, yet your nerves didn't completely calm down just yet.

"Hey!" You greeted back.

"You look nice," he commented.

"You too." You nodded. "So, what were you planning on doing first?"

"I thought we'd walk around here first, then go to this one restaurant. And after that we can wander around shops." he shrugged.

"Okay, sounds nice." You began walking side by side with him.

Your brain tried to sabotage the moment by beginning to make you feel awkward. You did your best to push it away. But were you supposed to be walking in silence? Or talking?

"You wanna hold hands?" He offered.

"Hmm," you joking held your finger to your lip in deep thought. "I think no."

"Oh, come on!" He acted upset, but there was a big grin on his face.

You laughed and he joined in. A few more jokes were thrown back and forth as you passed trees and other people. Though within a seemingly short amount of time, the conversation hit dead end. You pulled on your sleeve and look in any direction but him.

"Okay, this is getting boring,” he said. “Can we go to the restaurant now?”

"Lucky for you, I think we're almost at the end of the park, and I'm hungry."

“Yes!” he cheered. “They always make walking through the park look more fun in the movies.”

“Yeah,” you agreed with a laugh.

Kaminari led you to the place he picked out. Well, more like he tried to go there, then got lost and had to give up on relying on his memory. He made the brilliant move of pulling out his phone, setting the location on his map app, and he following it. But you both realized that he had gotten the point where you going mixed up with your location. This resulted in having to backtrack and ignoring your growling stomach as it took even longer to get there.

Finally, you found it. You entered through door with him. Inside were tables placed around a large circle. The conveyor belt had several plates of food with different types of sushi and other dishes. The chiefs in the middle of the circle conveyor worked hard to keep the food coming. Almost every table was filled.

“Aw, man. We should have gotten here earlier,” Kaminari grabbed your hand. “C’mon.”

You both ran until you spotted a free table and slide in. It took a second to catch your breath after the sudden sprint. Sitting in the chair, you looked around more closely. It was a nice place. There were people chattering, some clanking of plates, and mouth watering food slowly passing by you. You reached up to begin to grab one, but then you stopped yourself.

"Wait, am I paying for myself or where you...?"

"You can have whatever you want. My treat," he replied with a ish eating grin. Probably meant that he thought what he just said was very cool.

You laughed to yourself and picked one and he did the same. It was good. You were pleasantly surprised, though you weren't sure why. Maybe it was because he had only learned of the restaurant while looking up ones online to take you to. And it was only yesterday that you agreed. Then again, you had made honmei choco the other night...

You suddenly remembered something and nearly choked on your sushi roll.

"You okay?" Kaminari said, unfortunately dismissing any hope you had that he didn't notice.

"No, I'm good. I just need to make a phone call. One second." You excused yourself and walked outside while pulling out your phone.

It was an uncomfortable change to suddenly be greeted by the chilly February air. Was it really that cold when you were with Kaminari? You dialed your mom's number and resisted the urge to pace.

As soon as you heard the other end being picked up, you began. "Mom, I need you to get something for me. If you look in the kitchen, somewhere on the counter is where I left a bag of chocolate for Valentine's day. Can you bring that to me?" You had been so busy trying to get ready and be on time, that you had accidentally left the honmei choco you made.

"Uhh, okay. But where are you? It’ll be awfully hard to give it to you if I don’t know where you are."

"In a little bit I should be..." you tried to think of a good point to meet up, "near Takoba Municipal Beach Park. Probably close to that one gazebo. I'll text you that so you don't forget after I hang up."

"Okay. I hope you appreciate this. I really don't feel like going all the way out there to give you something you forgot."

"If I could go back and un-forget it, I would. Thank you. Bye."

With that, the call ended. You took a deep breath to calm your heart, which seemed to think forgetting chocolate was a catastrophic event, and went back inside.

When you caught sight of Kaminari again he was dunking a chunk of seaweed and fish into soy sauce, before shoving it into his already full mouth. He stopped and paused upon seeing you. He chewed and swallowed as quickly as he could and finished by the time you sat back down.

"So, what was that about?" he started it off as a joke, but his voice seemed shaky for whatever reason.

"I just forgot something and asked Mom to go get it for me." Technically wasn't a lie.

"Oh, okay." He began eating more. He started counting the plates and you could see his face pale a tad.

"Is everything alright for you?"

"Huh? I mean, yeah, everything's great." He smiled at you.

You shrugged and focused your gaze on the conveyor belt. A particularly delicious looking morsel. It was clearly more expensive, with a nice layer of tuna in it. You reached out your hand, considering getting it when you saw Kaminari flinch at your action.

You turned to him. "Do I need to pay for my own meal?"

"No, no," he tried to retain the coolness he built up, "I can pay."

You sighed. "No, you are not going broke because of expensive fish."

"But, that's not-"

"What? It's not cool? Denki- oops.” You realized you accidentally used his given name.

His face turned the slightest bit pink, though you hardly even noticed in your own embarrassment. “That’s fine. You can call me Denki. We’ve known each other long enough.”

“Thanks,” you nodded and continued, “Denki, you are my friend," why did the word 'friend' leave a different taste this time 'round? "and I don't want you doing something stupid because you think it makes you look cool."

He struggled to make a comeback and ended up blurting out, "Doing something stupid that makes me look cool defines me."

"Look, let's split the bill between us, that way you pay for some of mine, but you don't spend up the money for the chocolate you promised me."

"Wait, you didn't care about me, you just wanted to make sure you still got chocolate." He faked an offended expression.

You exhaled a laugh. "Yeah, sure. Whatever makes you feel better. As long as you agree."

"Fine."

"But don't purposefully buy more just because I'm offering to pay half."

"Can't make any promises~"

"You little-"

Eventually, you became full enough, or rather reached the maximum to what you were willing to pay. Then you left. You blinked when you stepped out. You hadn’t expected it to become this dark. Kaminari began walking off, probably to some store or the mall, but you grabbed his arm to stop him.

"Is it alright if we stop by the beach?"

His eyes lit up, like the stars in the sky. "Great idea! That'd be much more romantic."

You expected to roll your eyes, but what you found was your face growing warm and your mouth being lost for words. Thankfully, he didn't notice and just started running for the beach, pulling you along. Buildings loomed over you in the dark, until they finally cleared and the beach came into view. The sea seemed to become the night sky. It gently washed over the sand in a rhymic pattern. The sound of it filled your ears and your senses listened. A sense of calmness washed over you.

You both walked up to the gate that separated the beach from the road. Kaminari leaned against the metal gate, resting on his arms. The two of you stared at the view in a comfortable silence.

“Wow, this is nice,” he commented.

“Yeah.” There was a weird feeling, somewhat reminiscent to a flutter or squeeze, in your chest. Something that made the moment seem more magical. You could almost feel this feeling rising and beginning to climb up your throat.

More silence, then a movement caught your attention out the corner of your eye. Your mom was waving to you and held a small bag that slightly reflected in the small amount of light there was.

“One second, I need to go get something,” you let him know and ran to your mom. “Thank you so much.”

“Just don’t make this a habit,” she handed it to you. Then she glanced to where Kaminari was and squinted. “Is that your date? Is that why you were making chocolate?”

“No,” your voice came out more unsure for some reason, “well, I… was just making that for myself. This is just giri choco.”

“Okay.” She shrugged. “Don’t stay out much longer.”

“I won’t.” You quickly ran back. “Hey,” you greeted him.

“Hey. What was that about?”

“Noting important,” you shrugged and leaned on the gate. “Oh, and here.” You held the bag out to him, trying to act cool and nonchalant, but you knew you had a big smirk on your face.

He gasped and snatched it out of your hold. He wrestled with the bag, trying to get it open. Once he succeeded, he looked inside. A big smile spread across his face and he pulled it out. He held a large chocolate heart on a stick, almost like a lollipop. You thought that would be fun to make. Of course, now that he held it, you could see all the tiny imperfections. Like where a small air bubble had been, or how some chocolate had gotten on the stick. But Kaminari didn’t seem to care at all. He stared at it in awe. Like he had just been given something he wanted for years.

“Wow! Wait, did your mom just give this to you? Did you forget?” he looked over to you.

“What, no, I would never…” you laughed nervously. “But I did make it. You better like it, or else,” you joked.

“I’m sure I will! Wow. You made this?”

“Yep. Last night.”

“Thank you!” He took a bite out of it and began happily chewing.

You smiled. Your eyes locked onto the gazebo on the beach. It looked really nice. The thought of you being in it made you want to go even more. Currently there was a couple there, but then they walked out and started going down the beach. Your eyes lit up.

You looked to Kaminari, tugged on his sleeve, and pointed to the now empty location.

He grinned. “I think I know what you’re thinking and I think we should do it too.”

With a couple of small laughs you both hurried down to the beach was fast as you could. The sand made you slow your pace into a walk, but you didn’t mind. The sea air on you felt refreshing, chilling your skin. The moon was beautiful and the water reflected slivers of the moonlight that danced.

"It looks really nice." You smiled.

"Yeah... wanna hold hands?" He offered his free hand to you.

To your surprise, this actually sounded nice. And to your greater surprise, you accepted. Your hand slipped in his perfectly. Almost like it found its home. The second you skin touched, it was like electricity ran through you and jump started your heart. You were about to ask if he was using his quirk, but quickly realized that it didn't feel exactly like electricity. But the strange feeling in your heart continued. You couldn't tell if it felt nice or if you wanted it to go away.

Your feet kept sinking in the sand until you reached the pier and had to get used to walking on concrete again. You made your way to the roof on the end of the pier, hand in hand. You stood by the edge. Staring at the water.

Kaminari took the last bite. “That was delicious.”

“Thanks.”

“So…” he looked around. He put the stick back into the bag and placed it in his pocket. “Wanna dance?”

Instead of your usual joking reply, you felt flustered, but shyly accepted. He pulled out his phone and started some music up. You put your hand in his and the other on his shoulder. He held you by the waist. You tried to regulate your breathing and calm down. The two of you began spinning in time with the music. He twirled you around. You even did that one move you would see in movies. When you’d spin out, like a door opening, while still holding his hand. The he’d pull you back to him. It all felt simple, and fun.

Right as the fourth song was ending, you had an overwhelming urge to ask him something. “Umm,” then you stopped yourself when you realized exactly what it was you actually wanted to ask. But why did it feel like it was rising out of your throat, desperately wanting to be said.

“Yeah?” he looked at you. His yellow eyes made you feel like melting, an effect they never had up until that point.

“I… it was nothing.”

“Really?”

“No.” You cursed yourself for automatically saying the truth.

“Then what is it?” He looked at you more intently.

Your mind was doing somersaults trying to figure out what to do or say. “Date, please,” you blurted out.

“Huh?”

“Well, um.” You really wished you had kept your mouth shut. You stared down and said in the most quiet voice possible, “I think maybe I kinda like you and maybe, kinda, want to go on a real date with you. Maybe? If you’d be fine with that, maybe.”

“Wait,” he stepped back as if in surprise. “You. Want to date… me?”

Your face was burning to the point you wanted to stick into the water like an ostrich. “Yes?”

He threw his arms in the air and jumped around. “Yes! I got an actual date! I’m finally dating someone! They said I couldn’t do it!”

“You don’t need to announce it to the whole world.” You laughed.

“Well, you are m—”

“I swear, if you say finish with ‘my world’ I will knock you over the head.”

He let out a big laugh. “Why? You don’t want to be my world?”

His laughter was contagious. “No, it’s cheesy, and this literally just happened a minute ago.”

You both started to walk back, and hardly even noticed when your hands slipped perfectly into one another.

#denki x reader #kaminari x reader #kaminari denki x reader #denki kaminari x reader #Valentine's day #bnha denki #mha denki #bnha kaminari #mha kaminari #bnha x reader #mha x reader #bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia

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jellyroom · 4 years

Note

So this kinda comes as a two part request but i was on instagram and saw a post asking men what they would do if they got flowers from their significant other. And honeatly it was so cute. I want to know what kinda flower they would like and how they would react to receiving that flower? Also a virtual rose for you for running an amazing blog 🌹😁

What flowers they like/how they react to receiving the flower~

AWWWW THANK YOU OMG! I’m sorry this took so long and I’m sorry it’s not the best 😫❤️

Lucifer

Amaryllis- after a trip to the human world you came back with a flower you thoguh lucifer would like. You had seen drawing of it in one of his books that he would often read. When you presented the flower to him his mood brightened more than you may have ever seen. He was amazing at how you were able to find his favorite flower with such ease. He pulled you in to him using one arm and gave you the most passionate kiss he’s ever gave.

Mammon

Orcid- Mammon was in time out, in a sense. He decided he would try to steal something of Lucifers again, and got caught. You decided to try and cheer him up and brought him an Orcid. He allowed you to put the plant down before bringing you into a hug and letting you both fall back on the bed a just cuddle and kiss the rest of the day.

Asmo

Carnation- Valentines Day was definitely Asmos favorite holiday and you didn’t want to go to far out so decided to get his favorite flowers. Upon presenting them to him he smiled really big and put it up to his nose to smell it before giving you a big hug and his gift to you.

Satan

Peony- Satan had recently read a book about flowers and felt drawn to the Peony, he wanted to see a real one but they didn’t exist in the Devildom. You went to Diavolo and asked if you could go and get a few peony’s for Satan, to which he agreeded. When you cane back you immediately went to Satan and held the flower out to him. He blushed upon seeing you give him a flower before taking it in his hands and realizing it was the flower he talked about. He laid the flower down on his little table and picked you up and held you close.

Leviathan

(Yellow) Hyacinth- Levi has shut himself in his room for the last week trying to beat a game. You decided to give him a gift for how hard he was working. You decided to get a yellow hyacinth plant, you remembered Levi talking about it once. When you presented the gift to him his face flushed red and his eye widened. He looked away and pulled you in for a hug and stayed like that for a few minutes while he calmed back down.

Beelzebub

Marigold- It was the day Dia choice for the students at RAD to give flowers to their significant other or a close friend. You knew how much Beel loved marigolds because of their color and were quick to drag Asmo and get them. When you presented the precious flower to your boyfriend he smiled widely and took you in his arms, swinging you around, and gave you a big kiss.

Belphigor

Snapdragon- Diavolo decided to have everyone in the school get a flower that reminds you of the person assigned to you. Thankfully you had gotten Belphie. Already knowing what his favorite flower was you quickly got a hold of it. When you presented it to him he slightly blushed and looked away before bringing you in for a hug... then he took a nap while leaving on you.

Diavolo

Iris- you had noticed there would be random Iris plants around, especially in Dias study. When it was his birthday you and Barbatos put the plant all over Dias bedroom. When he walked in after the celebration for his birthday he was pleasantly surprised. He would hug you and kiss you so much because you gave him something he wasn’t use to, normally people get things that cost the most or things he don’t even like.

Barbatos

Violet- After many visits to the garden at the palace you had learned that Barb loves Violets more than any of the other human flowers. Sadly Devildoms soil doesn’t suit violets very well. When you took a trip back to the human realm, you got some dirt and violets and planted them in the garden. You quickly brought Barb to see it and his eyes widened in surprise before he fought you in for a gentle kiss right there.

Solomon

Rhododendron- Solomon never really celebrated Valentine’s Day. So when you came at him presenting a flower you had seen in one of his book of shadows, he was plesently surprised. He carefully took care of the plant before bringing you in for a soft and delicate kiss. He then started kissing all over your face causing you to giggle and the two of you rested in peaceful silence.

Simeon

Daisy- You decided too surprise Simeon at the purgatory hall because you guys had officially been together for 4 whole months. When you presented the Daisy’s to him he wrapped you into a hug and almost looked like he was crying. He was so happy that you thought of him and thought of you as more of the angel than he was.

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freelancearsonist · 3 years

Text

February Fic Recs!

Hi everyone! I’ve realized that part of the problem with interaction within the fic community is that not as many larger creators are doing their part to reblog and recommend fics like they used to when I first joined Tumblr. And while I wouldn’t really consider myself a “large” blog, I still want to do my part to help boost my fellow creators :) So here’s a list of what I read this month!

02.01 // “a letter addressed to the manager of the letter room” by @propertyofabelmorales (Richard Alsonso-Munoz) // I’ve read this at least three times omg because it’s currently the only Richard content we have and it’s wonderfully written and the letter format is unique but really interesting and so fitting given the character so yeah 10/10 please keep ‘em coming Vic 😂

02.02 // “Walls that Come Down” by @houseofthirst (Nathan Bateman) // this made me horny and made me cry at the same time and I think it’s really unfair that you have the power to do that to me tbh 😂 This is so wonderfully written and such a beautiful take on Nathan’s character and ugh lemme go cry in my corner

02.03 // “Meet Me on Endor” by @autumnleaves1991-blog (Poe Dameron) // “You are so beautiful, all the time” made me tear up a little bit because it’s so distinctly Poe and I also horny cried because god I’d give anything for this man

02.04 // “In the Night” by @jawabear (Santiago “Pope” Garcia) // this was emotional and beautiful and sexy all at once and it made me cry a lil bit in bed at 2am and honestly I thank you for it

02.05 // “Something About You And I” by @sacklerscumrag (Poe Dameron) // This was beautifully written and also so so so sexy and I realized I might have a bit of unresolved bondage kink while reading this so thanks for that 😂

02.06 // “The Night That Follows” by @roanniom (Poe Dameron) // I found this kind of by accident and then it turned out to be one of the most beautiful fics I’ve ever read in my life??? I’m seriously like trembling how can someone pack so much talent into one sexy fic I’m—

02.07 // “The Punishment” by @mandorush (Santiago “Pope” Garcia) // This is so fucking sexy what the fuck and then I found out it’s a whole series??? Yeah so needless to say my 2am binge was entirely worth it omg 🤤

02.08 // “Dessert is on the Counter” by @nathan-bateman (Abel Morales) // I read this before you posted to make the moodboard but I’ve legit reread like seven times since then omg. A quality fic in every way. 10/10

02.09 // “Affection” by @wasicskosgirl (Llewyn Davis) // This is one of my all-time favorite fics for my favorite man 😭 everything about this is so cute and I would literally die to snuggle with this sweet boy 😭

02.10 // “Tell Me” by @rebellou (Poe Dameron) // I don’t even know what to say omfg this is one of the hottest things I’ve ever read in my life and I’d like this fic chiseled onto my gravestone so I have something nice to take with me into the afterlife

02.11 // “Romantic Dreams” by @witchyavenger (Santiago “Pope” Garcia) // Yeah I want this holy hell this was so spectacularly written and so sexy and 😩 god I can’t even have kids but I wish he would breed me omg

02.12 // “Pressing Camera Questions” by @youvebeenlivingfictional (Nathan Bateman) // Omg this is so wonderfully constructed, even as something of an introductory piece to this series. I’m so excited to see what comes!

02.13 // “Free Fall” by @michaelperry (Mikael Boghosian) // There’s so little fic for Mikael on this site and so finding this kinda felt like striking gold 😂 especially because it’s so wonderfully writing and so sexy and 🤤

02.14 // #valentines fic tag by @propertyofabelmorales (Literally every Oscar Isaac character) // I got to read so many amazing fics today because of the Valentine’s fic exchange but shit dude you went above and beyond!! I wanted to only plug each author once on this fic rec calendar but there’s no way I couldn’t give you a shout out for this. Even in addition to your piece for the fic exchange you wrote so much incredible fic for literally every character I can think of (including Marcus!!!!!!!!! As I’m writing this you haven’t even posted his yet but I saw his name on the list and I’ve been having heart palpitations ever since) so yeah explore this tag because there’s fic for literally everyone and it’s all so wonderfully written and *chef’s kiss*

02.15 // “ghosts” by @unstoppableforcce (Javier Peña) // This one gave me CHILLS omfg this is just the first part and I was rolling on the ground. Everything about this is so beautifully constructed and haunting and UGH this is amazing 😭

02.16 // “Pretty” by @waatermelon-sugaar (Blue Jones) // Holy shit this unlocked like seven kinks that I didn’t even know I had 🤤 this was so wonderfully written and so sexy and realistic? Idk if that’s a good descriptor but like I could feel everything you were describing sdkfdkfjdkfj I LOVED THIS

02.17 // “home.” By @pascal-isaac (Llewyn Davis) // Look I wish I was kidding when I say that I’ve read this fic upwards of seven times sdkjskdjskd this is one of my all-time favorite fics and it only gets hotter with age 😩 this fic is like a fine wine and I would like to have it inscribed on my tombstone when I inevitably escape from this plane of existence

02.18 // “Turning to the Dark...” by @mylifeisactuallyamess (First Order!Poe Dameron) // If I’m being honest I’m not usually a fan of darker fics but this one worked for me. It was so sexy and honestly kind of beautiful in the way you describe the interrogation and later Poe’s willful turning. I really enjoyed this and will probably read again 🥺

02.19 // “My Best Decision” by @knivesareout (Javier Peña) // Fuck guys I’ve had baby fever like a motherfucker this month and this made it so much worse 😂 Dad!Javi is so fucking cute omg and this fic was SO SEXY and it really hit all of my bases 😩

02.20 // “my sweet baby” by @writingletterstothefire (Santiago “Pope” Garcia) // Look I’ve read this fic 293394 times and it’s good EVERY TIME. Dirty Dancing is the good kush and this fic made my obsession with that movie like 1000 times worse omfg. I read this every time I’m in a bad mood and it just puts a smile on my face so fast omg I would literally beg for a longer version

02.21 // “Sounds of Silence” by @veuliee2 (Orestes) // This fic? This fic right here? Lives rent free in my mind. To the truest capacity of the statement. I wish I was kidding when I say that not a single day goes by where I don’t think about this. I don’t even really know what to call this? Maybe Something along the lines of associates to lovers? Whatever this qualifies as it’s literally one of my absolute favorite fics of all time and I will never forget the way you shattered and mended my heart with one story

02.22 // “Mr. & Mrs. Cooper” by @aellynera (Bud Cooper) // THIS IS BRILLIANT THE ENTIRE WAY THROUGH ok first of all that this is like one of two fics for this character 😂 but also this is the most beautifully, ironically constructed fic ever? Everything about this is entirely grasping and there’s THREE PARTS that are all just as good as the rest and 😩 I literally couldn’t ask for a more perfect fic

02.23 // “Catch” by @ollypopp (Poe Dameron) // This is a short drabble but I had to include it because DAMN this is so sexy and wonderful for such a short piece and I’ll be thinking about this for the next month so thank you 😂

02.24 // “Blooming most recklessly” by @writefightandflightclub (Evgeni Kolpakov) // This is so beautifully written while simultaneously being so sexy???? How do you do it Luna I am forever in awe of your talent 😭 I can just visualize everything he says and does so clearly and I’m so in love with this piece 😭💛

02.25 // “falling for you” by @luminouspoes (Poe Dameron) // This is the cutest thing ever wtf 😭😭 The pining is so strong even though it’s short and it’s just all around so wonderfully written and I must go cry in my corner now

02.26 // “Liability” by @honeymandos (Nathan Bateman) // THIS WAS GORGEOUS WTF I’m crying over some soft Nathan in this house tonight 😭 I was legit so worried for a while that he’d send reader away but then he CAVED and my heart sang hallelujah—

02.27 // “electric spark” by @woakiees (Duke Leto Atreides) // Hi I need everyone to read this please so it can destroy your body and live in your mind and occupy all of your waking thoughts like it does for me k thanks

02.28 // “The Child” by @starryeyedstories (Poe Dameron) // This was the sweetest thing ever what the heck 😭😭😭 I am eternally sobbing over this lil found family-ish vibe and dad!Poe is literally everything I’ve ever wanted and UGH I have to go cry for the next month

#fic rec #february fic recs #poe dameron x reader #santiago garcia x reader #nathan bateman x reader #richard alsonso-munoz x reader #mikael boghosian x reader #javier peña x reader #blue jones x reader #orestes x reader #bud cooper x reader #evgeni kolpakov x reader #leto atreides x reader

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beomglocks · 3 years

Text

supermodel ; c.yj

warnings & other: angst?, this isnt recent, reading it back makes me cringe kinda, this is so old just keep that in mind, i still wanted to post it, based on sza’s supermodel, i love sza, like so fucking much, jjunie does too, omg taste, lets date baby

that is my greatest fear

that if, if i lost control

or did not have control, things would just, you know

i would be... fatal"

"get the hell away from me yeonjun," you spat through gritted teeth. you yanked your arm away from his unbelievablely tight grip on it. in all the times you had known him he had never manhandled you this much unless you guys were fucking but that’s another story.

"well what the fuck is this then huh?" he angrily snatched up the letter you had written earlier that day from the bed you both shared. well, used to share. he was fuming and to be honest you hadn't expected that reaction.

arguments with yeonjun were by far a rarity however he was never yelling and cursing at you. he usually would remain calm and make up afterwards.

"fuck you," you answered coldly. you hadn't even noticed the tears streaming down your face but yeonjun was already on it as he gingerly wiped them away, a contrast to his previous attitude toward you.

"don't touch me," you sneered. you stepped back to the suitcase you were currently packing. "'im leaving yeonjun, i can't take living like this with you anymore,'" he read out loud. you froze but brushed it off and sniffle as you continued to pack your clothes.

"i'll make sure not to mistakenly pack your clothes with mine," you mumbled miserably. you heard him let out a frustrated sigh, he walked over to you and yanked you up so that he could look at you in the face.

"what the fuck did i do?!" he yelled. you flinched but showed no signs of backing down, you weren't gonna let him see that you were intimidated. "ask your new bitch."

you watched as he froze but brought himself back by looking back down at you with confusion but mostly anger. "what?" he asked.

you scoffed, "i heard about how you barely hang out with the other members anymore, let alone barely stay around me, about how you stopped writing music and dancing. i thought you lived and breathed that shit." he opened his mouth to speak but you continued.

"don't even get me fucking started yeonjun, i know you're cheating on me too. the members told me how you've been bailing on them to fuck some random bitch every week. i've stayed quiet and obedient but this is the last fucking straw. why the fuck did you bail on me on Valentine's Day while I was here busting my ass to cook you food and get prettied up!" you were full on sobbing now. "why don't you go call her up, matter of fact, how about after i leave you call her up and fuck her into that bed right there. i bet you or her wouldn't mind."

you tried to control your tears but honestly you didn't care anymore, you had to show yeonjun that he had hurt you too much to bear now.

"baby...y/n..." he tried consoling you but honestly what would he say that wouldn't hurt more. you were aware of the fact that he was staring so deep into your soul right now, the way his slim fingers were rubbing up and down your arms, you really wished it was comforting instead of feeling like burns.

you roughly wiped the tears of your face and looked into his eyes. "fuck it, i guess since i know all this fucked up shit about you i should tell you..beomgyu and i have been fucking behind your back," you wanted to sound spiteful, after all you only did what you did for revenge but you did have some feelings for choi beomgyu.

you watched as the look on yeonjuns face went from calm and understanding to enraged once again. "WHAT," he shouted. he held your arms tighter so you couldn't run now. "LET GO ASSHOLE," you shouted back.

"WHAT THE FUCK Y/N, MY BEST FRIEND REALLY?! THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?" he might as well have been shoving you into the wall at this point. "i don't care!" you cried. "am i really that easy to forget? it can't be THAT easy, going around messing around with these other girls, leaving me lonely for prettier women you know i need too much attention for that shit. you KNOW how i am and i trusted you with that, i needed you!" he looked down at you as you put your head on his chest in defeat, you were way too tired for this right now.

it's true that yeonjun knew how insecure with yourself you got. it reminded you of a time you all were just hanging out and soobin had brought his girlfriend. everyone in the group could tell how disgustingly in love he was with that girl. at some point in your own relationship, yeonjun had stopped looking at you as if you created the stars in the sky. you guys weren't even standing near each other because yeonjun had said he "felt uncomfortable" with skinship in public which was another fucking lie of his. a friend of taehyun's who had tagged along with you guys had even asked if you and yeonjun were brother and sister, ouch.

when you both got home that day yeonjun didn't even comfort you or mention the comment made about your guys' relationship, he went straight to sleep. you had stood by the door frame watching his chest heave up and down as he slept. you just shook you head and joined him, trying to forget the comment and his actions but he ended up making it up to you with sex and of course you just forgave him.

you lifted your head from his chest and realized he had calmed down a bit. this boy and his mood swings.

"give me one good fucking reason why i shouldn't leave," you shoved his chest but not enough to really move him. you weren't even angry anymore just tired of everything.

"y/n.." it was as if you could see the gears turning in his head, looking for the right excuse. you sighed for what seemed like the 100th time. you didn't wanna hear an excuse if it wasn't gonna be genuine, you knew he would just go back to doing whatever it is he was doing on his days off and you didn't wanna hear it.

"let go of me yeonjun, we're done."

#yeonjun imagines #yeonjun reactions #yeonjun drabbles #yeonjun drabble #yeonjun angst #txt imagines #drabble #tomorrow x together imagines #yeonjun headcanons #txt reactions #txt headcanons #txt scenarios #yeonjun timestamps #yeonjun fic #yeonjun x reader #angst

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probably-voldemort · 3 years

Note

i’m just curious, because we all know that darling is the NUMBER 1 clurphy fic, but whilst we’re waiting, do you have any fic recs for us clurphy fans waiting to get our fix? like maybe ur friends have written some one shots n u wanna promote them i just MISS CLURPHY I NEEEEEED SEROTONIN love u hope you’re doing well i’m so sorry your semester is so bad :(

To be entirely fair to my semester, it has mostly been decent, but I’ve officially reached the point of the semester where I’m just really done with everything and don’t want to do anything anymore and also half the assignments I have left don’t make any sense which is fun. But thank you!

And on the note of Clurphy fic recs...

So to be entirely honest, I really haven’t read much that wasn’t a textbook in a while, so for this I’ll mostly just be going through the list on AO3 and seeing what’s happening there and probably won’t have actually read most of these recs yet.

ALSO

Shout out to Clurphy for officially hitting 200 fics on AO3 apparently!!

You go Clurphy!

200 fics is way too many for a single fic rec obviously, so we’ll mostly be going with the most recent fics in order of when they’ve been posted.

Throwing the rec list under a read more so it doesn’t clog up anyone’s dash

Cold Blooded - Rated T - A Twilight fic that I am obsessed with. Technically I’m like 99% sure it’ll be Bellarke endgame but Murphy is Edward and I love it

In the Daylight - Rated T - Haven’t read it yet but Clarke wants a baby and Murphy volunteers to provide the rest of the supplies needed to make that baby

We Carry With The Friends We Made - Not Rated - A zombie/post apocalyptic fic. I read the first chapter when it was posted and it was really good. Didn’t realize it’d been updated so I’ll have to check it out at some point!

beautiful flowers - Rated G - Season 1 post-Murphy’s-banishment AU. Haven’t read it yet but just based on that description I dig it.

and left the secret at the grave - Rated T - Shameless self promotion lol. I wrote this one for troped and it features being snowed in at an inn where a murder (and other crimes??) have been committed so if that’s your jam check it out. Also check out my moodboard and reblog it if you want

Say You’ll Remember Me - Rated M - Titanic AU which looks fantastic

The Rise of Weird Holidays Series - Rated E - Clarke and Murphy are friends with benefits but only on holidays so they start celebrating weird holidays so they can hook up more often

Of Parenting and Accidental TikTok Fame - Rated G - Murphy and Clarke have a baby and Murphy gets accidentally TikTok famous while being a stay at home dad

Comeback Kids - Rated M - Absolutely HEARTBREAKING fic where Clarke and Bellamy were in love but then Bellamy dies and Murphy was Bellamy’s BFF who Clarke didn’t really like but then they fall in love. Only one chapter so far but it made me cry so much omg

Yuletide Carols and Chaos - Not Rated - Looks like a modern exes to lovers with a Christmas theme which sounds high key fantastic

put your faith in the devil and the deep blue sea - Rated M - More shameless self promotion. Clarke goes back in time to save the world from ending and Murphy accidentally also goes back in time. They also hate each other, get super powers, and get stuck in a time loop. Also check out my moodboard and reblog it if you want

It’s Alright, It’s Okay - Rated M - Another time loop but this time it’s canonverse and Clarke made it to the Ark post season 4

Start The New Year Off Right - Rated T - New Years Kiss fic

toxic like you (lively like me) - Rated G - Clarke and Murphy were in isolation together in the Sky Box and fell in love

Two Is Better Than One - Not Rated - Clarke and Murphy have surprise twins

Remember That Night - Rated M - Clarke and Murphy hook up on Valentine’s Day and catch feelings

to anchor within you, sealed in waves - Rated T - Pirates of the Caribbean AU which like YES

Piece Me Back Together - Rated T - Definitely Maybe AU also featuring Murven and Memori (it’s been a bit since I watched the movie so idk who’s endgame but even if endgame isn’t Clurphy it’s still a great plot and so is the part of this fic I read a while back)

Titles Are Over-Rated - Rated T - Modern high school AU, looks like hurt comfort

And that is my fic rec!! Please don’t be discouraged if a fic has less of a personal comment than another. I’ve been in zoom classes all day and I just don’t have the brain power to put any more effort into this than I already did.

Also go check out the Clurphy tag on AO3 because there are a heck ton that aren’t on this rec that are probably also definitely good.

I’ve also posted some non-Clurphy fics on my blog for troped if you want to check those out

And now I’ve probably taken a long enough break from homework and should probably get back at it

#fic rec #clurphy fic #clurphy fic rec #clarke griffin #john murphy

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thatdamnokie · 4 years

Text

so, as everybody knows, our man, the lovely mark strong, turned 57 this past august 5th

since the kingsman films have had a huge influence on several aspects of my day-to-day life (gee, wonder what group of people i could be referring to...), i decided to sit down and do something i’ve been thinking about since getting my medical card earlier this year: getting high as a kite and watching them back-to-back.

to celebrate mark’s birthday, i decided to do another running commentary post like the one i did for rocknrolla ages ago, under the cut. it’s a pretty similar style, which is to say not necessarily super coherent and might be hard to understand if you’ve never seen the movies. D:

there are some mentions of the roanoke society, but not many.

if even just one person finds this mildly entertaining for four seconds, then i’ll have done my job. there is a lot of cursing and this is NOT spoiler-free.

enjoy~

edited 9.1.20 to correct typos and such, please remember that i was Not Sober while i wrote this lmao

how many times have i watched these movies at this point? i don’t even know.

i always liked the nifty like—retro arcade marv opening animation

and the thing with the tapes! we love book-ending devices!

kingsman: badass motherfuckers worldwide incorporated

like why was merlin even with them? i understand why lee and james would be there, but merlin, was he not acting quartermaster then?

i have SO MANY FEELINGS about lee unwin

i think it haunts harry and merlin more than anyone thinks, but these are fun spy movies so we just don’t talk about trauma and shit, don’tcha know

don’t look at how merlin tears up and tell me he doesn’t drink about it *HEAVILY* later

it’s such a stark contrast to see the 1990s interior vs. what it’s like when eggsy’s grown :(

michelle baby i’m so sorry. you deserved better than this.

and BABY EGGSY

omg. like this scene is both heartbreaking but is also adorable.

colin firth has gd anime legs, that dude had to straight up unfold himself as he stood up lmao

aaannnnd swooping logo, whooooo, goin’ over some mountains~

and mark hamill, ladies and gentlemen!

this whole thing with james deciding to kinda go rogue makes me wish that we knew more about his backstory as well. like, is this james being james, or was this a weird one-off situation and he was just unlucky?

YES unlucky. nobody could plan for the hurricane of sleek destruction that is gazelle

who has one of my favorite aesthetic designs as a villain (although i guess i’d put her more on maybe henchman level? but idk, it seems like valentine looked at her more as a partner, less like an assistant? and they had a very interesting chemistry together too, like i would’ve added more valentine x gazelle scenes)

i would LOVE to be this chill about just—draping blankies over bodies

blankies over bodies sounds like a cool band name

DIBS you guys can’t have it

i am SO GLAD samuel l. jackson gave valentine a lisp!

valentine, to me, does fit a lot of the usual spy movie villain tropes

but since this movie doesn’t take itself super serious, it’s more fun than annoying

and we never hear about any of the other knights?? like

half of this is just gonna be me whining for additional footage that there just wouldn’t have been room for realistically lmao

michael caine, you are lovely

MARK STRONG, LADIES AND GENTLEMAN

WITH LEGS THAT DON’T QUIT AND AN ACCENT THAT I’D DIE FOR

i’m an embarrassment

like let’s all stop and thank god that mark didn’t have time to learn the welsh accent

not that i would’ve been disappointed, because all accents are good accents on this blog

but at this point i can’t imagine merlin as—not scottish

“try picking a more suitable candidate this time”

arthur you DICK

like were you this cold-blooded when lee died, you fuckin’ reptilian-ass son of a bitch

no wonder you were charlie’s pledge person thing

and enter the fabulous taron egerton, stage left!

DEAN you are DISGUSTING

god, michelle, you need better friends, if you were my bro this entire relationship would’ve never happened

;-; and eggsy’s so sweet with his sister! i know there probably wasn’t “room” for it but i AM glad that there are scenes showing that family is one of eggsy’s kinda “core values”or whatever you want to call it

dude is a hufflepuff through and through imo

can you imagine eggsy as a villain? we would be so fucked. he’s sly, he’s smart, he could’ve made life v e r y difficult for lots of people if he really wanted to

but look at him with the squad!

eggsy’s just like the british version of a good ol’ boy

this car scene is some dukes of hazzard bullshit (ramp-jumping and fun car horn aside)

if butterflies are harry’s main symbolic critter, would foxes be eggsy’s? or would it be a pug instead? i guess that’s like asking if harry would be either a butterfly or a cairn terrier, like mr. pickle. let’s say both.

this fandom is pretty on top of character associations like that

you get symbolic associations! YOU get symbolic associations! EVERYONE gets symbolic associations whether they’re actually in the canon or not! don’t have any? don’t worry, we’ll assign you at least one!

the guy playing the interviewing officer is ALSO the patriarch in the witch which i didn’t realize until—like, a while after

and it was while @circlesofbone was visiting, and we were just “oh, okay, guess we can’t escape this cast at all, this is fine”

“your father saved my life.”

harry you’re such a fucking peacock, waiting all posted up and posing so you’ll look cool

you big doofus

i’d kill to be inside his head during this first conversation with eggsy though

like is eggsy like lee? is harry seeing lee the entire time he’s talking to his son, in his mannerisms, how he carries himself, how he speaks?

or is eggsy the opposite? which—i don’t know if that would somehow be sadder?

there’s just a lot going on in the background of this bit that’s left up to interpretation

“although i’m sure it’s well-founded—“

harry’s just so casual about this entire thing, nobody’s that casual without practice

harry you rabble-rouser, what kind of life have you led

“manners. maketh. man.”

our timeless motto, my flowers

kingsman STILL to this DAY has some of the most well-choreographed fight scenes i’ve ever seen??

like yeah the church scene but even just this initial bar fight

harry could’ve been a dancer

in a way i guess he already is

like he moves so fluidly and gracefully, it is BONKERS

colin you did so good! i’m so proud!

the way eggsy’s just O.O

whether or not you ship hartwin, like, you gotta admit, that was hot

and his BODY LANGUAGE, he’s sitting like RAMROD straight, this poor dude lmao

nobody prepares you for a situation like that in public school is all i’m saying

harry, exiting stage left like a suave, smooth motherfucker

remember when iggy azalea was relevant

ugghhhh i hate this part

“I WASN’T WITH NO ONE”

can you imagine being harry hart listening to your dead friend’s son getting the shit beat out of him

like, surely he heard the cleaver, he knows dean was going to fucking gut eggsy right?

listen to how cold and icy his voice gets, oof

yeah, he’s pissed, and dean is lucky

PARKOUR

ugh, i want to go to london ;-; i want to walk in front of the shop and visit harry’s house and kiss cute english boys

i’d like to think harry’s super excited to show eggsy everything but he’s gotta keep it dialed back because “decorum”

the way eggsy pauses though

“come on.”

and he says it so softly.

if i was eggsy, i’d be nervous, too.

but i didn’t realize how quickly harry tries to give off signals like “hey there’s no reason to be scared.”

“like my fair lady?” “well, you’re full of surprises.” <3 one of my favorite sceneeesss.

harry’s voice is so soothing but eggsy is so freaked out by the elevator that he’s just—there’s no room for anything else beyond processing the elevator lmao

“how deep does this fucking thing go?” asking the real questions

aannnddd KINGSMAN BULLET TRAIN

i’d like to think they have like soft jazz or something playing in there

and then they get to the hangar and there are obviously a buuuuunch of people out on the tarmac that we just—never hear about? i just assume they’re all like technical officers or maybe other agents

“your father had the same look on his face. … as did i.”

harry is already rooting for him.

“late again, sir.”

that. brogue.

fuck, i could listen to him talk for hours, scottish accents are my favorite thing

#squadgoals

not a very diverse cast :/

the body bag speeeeech

and of course nobody was in any actual danger, but merlin doesn’t want them to know that so he becomes mr. hard as steel, i am emotionally stoic at all times, do not test me you bunch of rugrats

“classic army technique.”

ROXY

ROXY I WANT TO JUST HOLD YOU IN MY ARMS TT.TT

aannnnddd charlie, also

who we might’ve found sympathy for if we knew aaannyytthiinnggg else about his backstory

like, could he just be Like That, yeah

but most people i know who are assholes like that are that way because their parents were first /shrug/

can hardly fault the dude for turning out like that when poison was all he was given to drink

anyone else a hundred percent positive they would’ve drowned in the first trial

i would absolutely have panicked and bit it

but then again, i’m not kingsman material, i’m roanoke

and if this is the exact same test that merlin and harry went through, does that mean there might be some weird drowning trauma hidden back in there that’s just ANOTHER thing we’re not gonna talk about?

(yes the correct answer is yes)

god that’s such an american response to the problem though

glass can’t cause problems if it’s in a million pieces!

“yeah you can wipe those smirks off your faces…”

i wonder if there was ever a situation where a trainee actually drowned

and i don’t mean like amelia, i mean some poor kid who just failed the test

merlin knows how to put the fear of god in people though!

and mark strong, very handsome, yes, very scary, also yes

he and colin both look like they’re 80 percent leg in every single scene

harry literally had brain matter smatter ALL OVER HIS FACE and still somehow had the mental facilities to be aware of those dudes, leave a bomb and dive out of a window (and then escape said dudes)

billy badass, y’all

“just get it done.” okay, i took back what i said earlier, maybe he does see her as more of an assistant, less than a partner. their relationship is weird.

the puppy scene!

“it’s a bulldog innit?”

YASSSS the golden trio

because of what happened with our other canon charlie has become a weird character for me to watch, like, yeah, i “watch” charlie be himself in tss but the charlie i “see” is like—”our” charlie.

“bollocks!” and then he just runs with jb in his vest, makes me smile

aannddd we see valentine’s super cool factory

harry your hair gets so long <3

“water!” wow, who wants to bet that the fact he was instantly screaming means that maybe he’s gonna have some stuff to talk about in therapy later

roxy baby i’m sorry they made you hold the balloon and have to trust these dumbasses to not shoot you on accident

i would trust roxy to not shoot me

i love, love love valentine’s house

it’s gorgeous

set design is always such a cool way for filmmakers to include details about a character using pure aesthetics and i’m such a slut for it

tilde!

see also: one of the characters done the WORST by these movies imo!

the fact that she not only says no, she says no with enthusiasm and gets blatantly pissed, is one of the best insights we get into tilde’s character and then it just—gets wasted

like it takes three steps and then gets mowed down in the hallway like her guards

i would never be given the opportunity to be asked if i wanted an implant but i draw the line at having stuff put into my neck

awwww harry’s so proud!

that finger point “yeah, see, be more like your uncle”

merlin is SO TALL

“a bit much innit?”

he’s just—tapping a normal clipboard

… nobody wanna talk about how that’s a normal clipboard

anyway

i also love how they show him in professor sweaters for the beginning acts of the movie

definitely a softer aesthetic than one would guess for a dude who apparently did field missions sometime within the past decade or so, but i also have a theory that lee’s death directly contributed to merlin maybe being the man behind the screen as opposed to afield

because trauma is a thing but this is a FUN movie so we’re NOT gonna talk about it

“you’re gonna be all right. you’re top of the class!” this was the scene that made my mom a reggsy shipper

regardless of how you feel about them as a couple, their friendship is one of the best things about this movie, along with their dynamic with charlie, asjdnaskdjna WHY could we not have had a trio movie instead

eggsy you show-off “lemme just throw my arms up and dip outta this plane like it’s not a big deal”

roxy you can do it!

ugh, there goes my baby, off to have a near-death experience under merlin’s immediate supervision lmao

“good girl, rox, glad you made it!”

guys, they’re just kids.

i love this big group scene because it reminds us that these are just young folks, still

“my, my, you’re all very cheerful...”

“rufus, come on!” dude eggsy—and not even just eggsy, charlie and rox too--at least made an attempt at teamwork. you get points for that bro

but man, for all they know, they’re about to beef it in a very permanent way, i’d be freaking out too

merlin getting caught up in the drama

because again, he’s supposed to know that eggsy has a parachute

i think he wasn’t prepared for these two to get that close to not making it and that’s why we see him break face and drop his mug

*WHAM*

i HATE the sound of them landing

it’s not like you can hear bones breaking but it hurts me, guys

and then there were three

plus one daddy long legs quartermaster

“if you have a complaint you come here and you whisper it in my ear.”

yes SIR

“you need to take that chip off your shoulder.”

merlin coming’ in with the tough love portion of the kingsman core squad

there’s no reason for me to think harry’s persona was inspired by cruella de ville somehow but i do anyway

she reveals the mcdonald’s and valentine is just :D

idk if he was expecting a specific reaction or was just excited to see a reaction period

valentine is definitely a fun villain, which, given the tone of the movie, makes sense, it’s all supposed to be fun

one of the reasons i love kingsman is that it’s like, this golden ray of goofy cinematic fuckery in a world of grim!dark remakes and other superhero/spy films who are presented as more serious stories

“and thank you for such a—happy, meal.”

harry got a puppy smile

but see, then, here at his house he’s a lot more relaxed with gazelle! like, patting her butt, etc.

maybe what we see of their relationship is dependent on setting, because valentine himself has it compartmentalized?

perrrrrrhaps

“and i am never, EVER GOING TO AGREE!”

tilde, you deserved better, and i think all the weird hate you get from our ohana is unfair

you don’t twist a runner’s ankle before the race starts and then get mad when they don’t win

your story was mishandled from the beginning

asmr: hanging out with the golden trio watching worrying news in the kingsman trainee bunker room

the way he says “biblical sense” lmao

i have never been able to figure out if the way he says that line is supposed to infer spiritual respect, or lack of it, but i might be looking too into it

“it’s an acquired taste, mate.”

what—what would you even do if you were at a club and three people as hot as taron, ed and sophie all came up and start talking to you at the same time

like i know the target got up and left pretty quick because of the training exercise

but i’d be doing it because i’m ugly and if three hot people are all talking me up at a bar something is Bad and Wrong

which—the CAHONES on both eggsy and roxy

they both literally said “yeah i’m willing to die for this organization that hasn’t even given me a permanent place yet, what of it”

look at harry’s dimples in this scene, he is fighting a huge grin, he’s SO PROUD

i know that charlie’s response is supposed to be just more fodder into the “charlie hesketh is a tool” fire

but given that i’m not unconvinced that his home life wasn’t super shitty, like—

idk, this makes this scene a lot less fun to me. it makes it sad.

like, maybe charlie didn’t even want to be there deep down, maybe this was all for like, arthur, or his dad, or some other person he looked up to

and the way merlin looks when he tells charlie to go home, the way that he’s kinda grimacing? i’m wondering if he’s along the same kind of feeling. he’d know more about charlie’s history

have i also mentioned how much i love harry’s war room?

“YES harry!”

an evil plan is being born!

“true nobility is being superior to your former self.”

eggsy is still in his club clothes, so like—has he slept? y’all let those kids sleep after fucking drugging them, right? … guys?

“—when one is popping ones cherry.”

and eggsy is just CHEESING he is SO EXCITED

am i the only one who wants to learn more about the store clerk guy though?

he’s like the one person around who’s legit just there to run the shop

has no idea about any of the spy stuff happening

his name is donald, he’s married with three children and has two spaniels he loves

“THAT is sick.”

i would KILL for this room.

i don’t need anything in here for any reason but still

foreshadowing, foreshadowing, foreshadowing, more foreshadowing—

harry is such a NERD

“put it back, eggsy.”

the amount of self-control it would take to not have a sudden change in expression in that moment, omg

i wonder how THAT gets trained up in kingsman

“i guarantee it.” ha, get it, it’s a reference to that one commercial

“y’all—talk so funny.”

and this all means that they had a contact at that hat shop and got all that info to them before valentine got there, and somehow made sure he did end up buying a hat that they could also successfully put a bug on, how deep does this goooooo

“jack bauer?”

it says a lot about eggsy that out of all the jb’s it could’ve been, it was jack

uggghhhhhh of course they HAD to do this scene with eggsy with arthur

obviously harry couldn’t do it

i just think most of us would NOT be fans of arthur at this point in the movie, we’re all rooting for eggsy, like, he needs this moment with this other character because we gotta drive home that he’s an asshole

also—would have absolutely failed that test

and i’m not sorry at all

“welcome to kingsman--lancelot.”

i was really happy that it was a female agent who ended up getting the handle

aannddd more echoes of past scenes, man, nobody can say that this crew wasn’t intentional with their cinematography

when eggsy rolls the window down you can see his chest moving up and down, like, he is MAD

dean you asshole

so no wonder he gets so pissed that the car suddenly decides “nope, no, we’re not doing this, c’mon”

this entire conversation at harry’s house is—tense

and you don’t pick up on it the first time, i don’t think, but uh

i’m seeing it now

harry’s not just mad, he’s hurt, and eggsy’s furious but he’s also maybe regretting his actions.

it’s these two men who are rapidly trying to figure out their headspaces and trying to figure out how to navigate this situation with each other

and the way eggsy tries to apologize ;-;

kentucky is a beautiful state, actually

ohhhhhh y’alllll

we’re at the churrrccchhhh

we’re gettin’ closer to the coolest part of the movieeeee

it’s telling that gazelle was trying to make sure that they’d be safe

“… so hail satan, and have a lovely afternoon madame.”

the most metal lines colin firth has ever uttered on camera

the siren noise after it’s switched on bothers me in a way i can’t quite articulate

it might be because i have silent hill-colored trauma, who knows

FREEEEEE

BIIIRRRDDDDDDD

THE GREATEST ACTION TRACKING SHOT IN THE HISTORY OF CINEMA

but then eggsy and merlin are reacting aaaanndddd it’s—a lot less fun

because you realize that they’re watching their bro mercilessly slaughter innocent people and not stopping

and still not stopping

but plot twist, i’m really glad they kept the track going, because if they’d suddenly picked *this* part of the scene to get serious, that would’ve brought the mood down so low that i don’t think there would’ve been any bouncing back

i just

how do people exist who aren’t attracted to harry hart

that man is a machine

and colin worked so hard to be able to do the scene himself, and that work SHOWS, that man cuts a FIGURE

i don’t know how they managed to somber it up just the right amount, either? maybe because they waited for the “fun action sequence” to be over so there wouldn’t need to be noise that had to be masked by a fun rock track?

“… what did you do to me.”

i cannot imagine what harry was feeling in that moment.

the way he spoke it was like he didn’t even have time to be afraid to die

“that tends to happen when you shoot somebody in the head. feels good, right?”

“no, it does not feel good!”

i love that exchange because we normally hear the opposite.

also—whiplash.

mark has this way of expressing grief without showing any—blatant signs.

like merlin’s not especially tearful, or crying, but his eyes look MASSIVE. and SAD. and he has just the tiiiiiniest tremor in his voice.

and eggsy, dude, like, we’ve all had it come on us really quick and suddenly it’s like your chest is pumping like a piston and when did it get so hard to breathe?

ARTHUR you REPULSE me

like look at how egssy’s shoulders sag when he realizes that arthur isn’t on his team

and in a way, this is eggsy’s final test as a kingsman trainee, imo

do you realize how quickly he had to assess what was happening and figure out what to do, all without arthur noticing?

“you are all alone. it is all up to you. remember all you have learned. good luck.”

it’s a very—almost horror-esque situation from that pov

and he passed with flying colors to go on his first true mission, because after he puts on the suit, that’s his visual cue of graduating, if that makes sense

that’s the knight putting on his armor.

“i’d rather be with harry. thanks.”

“so be it.”

*click*

me: *laughing at arthur’s big dumb stupid head*

… man i’d love a replica of that decanter and glasses set though

not to mention that eggsy recognized the flaws in arthur’s character and weaponized them, which is a whole other level of shit that isn’t necessarily easy; he knew that arthur carried the kind of pride that would leave him open

god, he looks so exhausted though when rox has him at gunpoint.

i think he was being pretty serious, about harry

sick helipaaaaaaad

that thing looks vaguely like a rock-‘em sock-‘em robot but in pieces though

more grandpa sweaters <3

man. you can see roxy swallow, you know she’s scared, but then she just sets her jaw and—

roxy baby you are the best i love you

i like the vintage vibe of the mountain lair

i think that’s another visual poke at the aesthetic themes of some of the older, og spy flicks out there

merlin looks SO LANKY walking back to the plane for some reason??

he stays until the last second for roxy. that’s love right there.

“a bespoke suit always fits.”

which can be good spiritual life advice too but that’s a separate conversation

“what the fuck is WRONG with you people?”

and his fuckin’ disco ball

uuggggghhhhh his speech reminds me of so many… “public figures” that i dislike

even though it’s obviously a bad thing that the chips are everywhere, i appreciate that phones and such are being shown in a positive manner (like, michelle talking to someone in the park, people at a ball game taking selfies, people at the beach, etc.) because i get so sick of that anti-tech boomer humor tbh

and the big reveal of eggsy in his suitttt

A KNIGHT IS BORN

“how’s the view?”

“hideous.”

you’re allowed to be crabby baby, you just let it out.

“lookin’ good, eggsy.”

“feelin’ good, merlin.”

merlin is so calm heading into the fortress and i don’t know if it’s because he’s very, very good at compartmentalizing and that’s genuinely how he is at the moment or if he’s that way through extreme self-control and effort

he can rock a pilot’s uniform though

just like eggsy can rock a suit

they’re both so handsome, help

i also wonder how eggsy’s feeling right then

like, i’d imagine that the pressure of having to perform a role to literally save the world would be enough to distract him from the bite of grief

that’s—probably enough to distract everyone, tbh

i a hundred percent believe there are breakdowns we don’t see

i wonder if eggsy told tilde he’d spoken to lindstrum(sp?) after everything was said and done

like, that’d be some kind of weird foreshadowing in hindsight

this scene is anxiety-inducing in a big way so to distract myself i imagine roxy as a mech pilot

dude i’d totally watch sophie in a role like that, like, let her be in a movie like pacific rim, she’d kick ass

and now we have The Chaos

otherwise known as that point when Everything Is Happening All At Once All The Time

also a thing that doesn’t exist in spy movies: hearing damage

because like his voice is right in eggsy’s ear and without it he’d have a LOT harder time surviving

imagine being an agent, merlin trying to talk to you, but something either hits your ear or goes off right next to it and suddenly it’s just silent

SYSTEM FAILURE

YAAASSSSS

WE WIN

GGOOOAAAAALLLLLL

THE AUDIENCE IS DOING THE WAVE

except JUST KIDDING

The Chaos 2 Electric Boogaloo!

merlin with a huge gun: hot, also, very scary

eggsy is just 10000% done

“this is mine. i’ll show you yours.”

i wonder who e man was supposed to be that valentine called.

like is that a reference to a real person that i just did’t catch?

… elon musk? maybe? idk

eggsy slides like a gd anime character

when he uses the rainmaker, it’s just like harry’s protecting him from somewhere else

(oh—wait, technically kentucky, i guess)

“merlin, i’m fucked.” you can hear the anger there. not only did he fail, but he—and everyone else—is about to die

but this? this is the pinnacle of eggsy showing himself as a kingman agent

he was staring death straight in the mouth and STILL

SOMEHOW

REMEMBERED THE IMPLANTS

so i guess if i say that the moment when he puts on the suit is when he becomes a true agent, then maybe this is the moment when he becomes galahad.

*bobs head to pomp & circumstance*

i remember getting a huge kick out of how colorful they made this

because in real life you know a bunch of people literally blowing up would be like—DISGUSTING

viscera everywhere

no fun rainbow mushroom clouds

“i’ve always wanted to kiss a princess.”

ANOTHER knight reference, very clever matthew

mmmmm Do Not Like that noise

aaaannndddd *that* line

which—maybe that’s mr. vaughn’s sense of humor, or what he thinks the sense of humor his core demographic has, idk

but it always kinda rubbed me the wrong way

the mass brawl scenes are edited so like--jarringly compared to the other fight scenes in the movie

that’s probably for a reason

also, a showdown to the tune of something disco: kind of another trope homage

this shot of gazelle is so sick, i love everything about it, she is so cool

this entire fight with eggsy is awesome tbh

we got a little bit of what gazelle can look like in combat earlier with tilde’s guards, but now we get this epic showdown seeing her at her full potential against someone who’s actually a challenge

and the way valentine is shouting for her to kick his ass from upstairs and yelling encouragement lmao that’s how real friends act when there’s a fight

daisy ;-; ugh, that’s the visual gutpunch that makes it juuuuuust serious enough by reminding us of the stakes

which is why it’s fitting that then we see the Slo-Mo K.O.

and that smile with the fun little chimes in the back, lmao

and eggsy, quick on his feet again byyyy being quick on gazelle’s feet—foot—whatever

man, impalement deaths are always fun.

coulda done without the vomiting but that’s also one of valentine’s quirks that makes him different from a cookie cutter villain

aaannddd have a heavy sigh from merlin

that dude needs a full-body massage and a drink

“is this where you say some really bad pun?”

reminder: i love that this movie is self-aware! i could not picture a super serious kingsman movie! i just picture something depressing!

there had to have been a better option besides—this, for this eggsy/tilde ending scene

i’m not saying i’m mad it ended with them fucking, i’m mad that the extent of the joke was anal and that was it.

also the idea of my boss possibly seeing me having sex would have me a little more concerned about the hardware on my face, but okay??

aannddd the tapes.

gah, we love visual throwbacks!

we love being able to see that despite all this growth and change, family remains very important to eggsy—he hasn’t changed into a different person, he has grown more into himself than ever before! THIS! THIS is eggsy unwin!

… GET READY FOR IT

time for tgc! (and to get into my roanoke feels, maybe, this is the nexus where our canons connect)

the BAGPIPES

okay

i did not stop to consider how unpleasant this was going to be to watch stoned but we’re gonna power through it and get through it together

if i cry i cry

the way the music swells into the main theme <3

and the perfect reveal for our boy eggsy!

reflected in gold, looking sharper than broken glass

and SUDDENLY CHARLIE

the pacing in tgc leads me to believe that matthew had huge plans for this movie, and a lot of cool stuff probably ended up on the cutting room floor for time

i also love that they brought charlie back

i love his voice box and his cool robot arm

and i’m not just saying that because it made it super easy to blend him into our canon, either, this is like—charlie’s evil twin in terms of his new aesthetic, the contrast is really cool

YYAASSSS THIS SCENE

WITH PRINCE PLAYING??

*CHEF’S KISS*

like we are IMMEDIATELY thrown back into the gold parts of it all, like how physics is a little broken so we can do cool shit like have a knockdown drag-out fight all within the space of a small cab

i wonder what would’ve hurt charlie worse—being thrown onto his organic side, or having all his weight land on his metal arm if it hadn’t disattached

but then he’s up and standing so i guess we’re fine?

MERLIN! <3

otherwise known as the character entrance that literally changed my life

i try not to think about it too much or i get weirded out

ANYWAY

(and to think i almost never even saw the movie)

Sick Car Chase, Bro

and as an american, like, everything’s on the opposite side to me, it’s stressful to watch a little bit

“i seem to remember in your training you were rather good at holding your breath.”

man, that’s uh—kind of a macabre thing to say, merlin

just a little bit

i’m not even gonna attempt to hold my breath to see if i’d survive this scene just assume i’m dead in that universe

we all live in a kingsman subarmine, a kingsman submarine, a kingsman submarine~~

“not boasting, but i trained him well enough that even he wouldn't mess that up.”

merlin are you okay??

gah, i love that chest-deep laugh though.

is it real love if they won’t crawl through the sewer to get to your house in time

i love that harry’s house looks basically the same

i know they talk about eggsy not wanting to change anything in the novelization but i haven’t read it yet so I’m not a hundred percent sure what all is in there

and we still get to see him hanging with his friends, and his girlfriend, like, this dude is still all about the family

“wwwwOOOOO!”

i love this group so much omg

for as much as he’s galahad, he’s still eggsy

the transition in the weed bag looks super cool

… oh, i guess watching this while high makes the main storyline hit a bit different

welp

i love that poppy is an aesthetic slut and really doesn’t give a shit about anyone’s opinion about how she makes her space

like, “i want a big 50s-style diner with a gourmet kitchen that i can cook people in, soooooo i’m getting one”

it’s also refreshing to see julianne moore in a bad guy role!

not that i’m super familiar with her filmography but i feel like i’ve mostly seen her cast as like a good guy?

i could be wrong

awwwww jet and bennie!

there’s so much to love about this set

cannibalism and the fact that she bulldozed jungle to build all this aside (suspend that belief!)

the breakfast sceeeeeene

it’s so bittersweet, for obvious reasons

and it’s more evidence that he’s not super ready to move on into new territory yet, like making new memories with tilde that ring close to home

“i wish i could have met him.”

and the way he has to turn away, ugh.

eggsy. i’m sorry.

tilde, i’m sorry, too. you had good intentions, but they lost against his pain.

michael gambdon! the new arthur we didn’t know we wanted until we got him.

charlie had a moral glo-down, it’s fine, happens to everybody

FFFFFF his imitation of merlin lmfao

man, poor charlie, like

you wake up, you can’t make a sound, your arm has been blown off and your family’s dead

like his reaction to that entire scenario isn’t entirely unrealistic, i’m just saying

also LOOK AT ROX

omg everyone in this movie can wear the FUCK out of suit, y’all

man, i’ve gotten a few tattoos that were exquisitely painful—i can’t imagine how much it would suck to do it with literal molten metal

dude this means clara laid on her stomach and probably screamed at the floor as she got hers D:

this kinda—riffs off of hannibal, a teeny-tiny bit

like we’re so overloaded with the aesthetics and behavior of a certain character so it’s like, we forget about the much darker parts untillllll there’s a mood change and we’re looking at that dude’s legs, to the burger this other dude puts in his mouth, and thinking “oh, oh dear, ew”

i love eggsy in the orange jacket <3 snaps for the wardrobe crew across this series.

tilde’s face, omg, she was heart-eyeing so bad. and like, that little proud nod at her dad (who was of course being Like That on purpose)

and roxy, coming in in the clutch, you are tonight’s MVP

uggghhhhh i hate this part

because again, it’s just--a bunch of bad shit colliding outside of anyone’s control

(it was also really jarring seeing the war room with blank walls the first time i watched this)

like—granted, you should maybe not touch stuff that’s not yours, but…

like we *just* saw eggsy and brandon in a very casual, intimate scene with each other, how can anyone get angry with brandon?

this is all stress-inducing

i remember being in the theater watching this and feeling like i was watching some awful slow motion car wreck and i couldn’t look away

idk what other story i would’ve wanted to see but i was NOT a fan of Sudden Death For Christmas, especially concerning roxy!

and poppy is such a *bright* villain, not just because of taste but because of her personality, which is another weird thing to have next to the cannibalism

gaaahhhh charlieeee your arm is so cooooool

this shot is gorgeous and incredibly depressing.

what do you do?

gah, and the way merlin comes out of the dark, like

i probably would’ve drawn a gun on him too

“you think *i* would?”

this scene shows 1. how much he trusts eggsy to not shoot him, and/or 2. how good merlin is at compartmentalizing, because this is an even bigger blow than harry’s death, and he’s following the protocol like it’s an art form

i hope that we see some reference to this safe in the next movie, that’d be a cool way to tie the narratives all together

“i suppose that must be upper class humor. … i don’t get it.”

reminder, merlin is working class.

if you’re a ho for this fandom and went and bought this whiskey specifically because of this movie clap your hands *clap clap*

and they proceed to just get HAMMERED

“country rooaaddsss… take me hoooooome…”

another reminder: kentucky is a beautiful state!

i would love to tour a whiskey distillery, that’d be super cool

“shame it’s not scotch”

again, with his weird night vale clipboard.

who would win: two highly-trained kingsman agents vs. one (1) cowboy

channing tatum, ladies and gentlemen!

“y’all look damn sharp!”

i am forever gonna be mad we didn’t get more of tequila in this movie, and not just because of roanoke either, but like, “that dog don’t hunt,” whatever he has in his mouth sealed a leak in a barrel, and it took him all of two minutes to incapacitate both eggsy AND merlin? hello??

i’m glad we’ll get to see more of him in the another movie.

“you know why the measurement of alcohol is called proof?”

just dumping it on their laps, so disrespectful

“—and you can go fuck yourself.”

eggsy fucking just giggling.

these two doofuses

also it’s hot to see merlin be sassy ngl

“HARRY!”

these guys have been fast thinkers in stressful situations but as it turns out, people being unexpectedly not dead can kinda fuck with your day

aaannddd halle berry, everybody! i love ginger ale omg

(and so does merlin, he is instantly enchanted)

;-; this reunion scene

i don’t know how colin manages to be two completely different people at once

like there’s a huge difference between former agent galahad and harry hart the lepidopterist and i can’t explain it

i really, really hope we see at least one little hint at kinsman’s relationship with statesman in the new movie, i just think it’d be really cool

in roanoke canon, there’s an office rumor that the nanobot tech used by statesman was influenced directly by the same technology developed by dr. wernicke in the outlast games. i still think it’s one of my better crossover ideas.

also

god bless whoever decided to get elton john involved with all this?? because i was DELIGHTED

i love poppy’s wardrobe as much as i love her weird 50s-land in the jungle

i also really love the main statesman theme? it reminds me of all those fun epic westerns

jeff bridges! :D

champ vaguely reminds me of my dad

“can you imagine us in the tailor business?”

and he’s super quick with the questions. my headcanons for champ are all over the place but one that i really like is that he was maybe a sheriff or in law enforcement before being recruited by statesman.

aaanndddd pedro pascal, everybody!

otherwise known as *another* character that this movie did dirty, that’ll probably come up in this later

imagine being harry hart, not remember all of yourself, and suddenly your entire room just—fills with water

that had to have been so terrifying, and it was just as hard for merlin to watch (and possibly remember something unpleasant)

and like

that sounds like SUCH bullshit, too, like “yeah we thought if you came close to drowning it would help”

which, is that what merlin meant, no, but is that what harry heard, probably

enter jb the second ;-; <3 sweet baby

tilde’s trying so hard. i see you!

aha, penis jokes.

and all of the unnecessary weird festival stuff, uuggghh

there are so many different things they could have done, like, all of this is just weird from the get-go

first of all, whiskey striking out? hello?? saying no to a man like mr. pascal???

not realistic

the way whiskey takes a shot as he walks away lmao, relatable

and poor clara, like, it’s not like she was asking for any of this D:

hmmmmmmm don’t know how i feel being a stoner watching other stoners get this blue rash thing when i know it kills some of themmmmmmm

i love charlie in his newsboys cap!

poppy has a little bit of a point. like, booze is way more dangerous than pot, as is tobacco. like i would never advocate anyone try meth or heroin, but i think weed and some hallucinogenics get bad wraps.

seeing a dude get torn in half in the reflection of elton john’s sunglasses is the surprising bit of gore we need to remember that oh, yeah, the villain isn’t fun, she’s a murderer

uuggghhhh the TENT SCENE

and, look, i’ll defend tilde forever, but i did NOT like the weird marriage ultimatum. i still think it’s a dick move, like, in that situation either decide to trust your boyfriend or break up with him

the tent interior is super cool-looking

and like, man, he tried, he tried to bounce D:

/sigh/ work hazards, i guess

mmmmmm we don’t need any of what’s happening on screen right now so i’ll just sit patiently and wait for it to be over

and like, there’s nothing funny about merlin and ginger being able to hear everything that’s going on, it’s so grosssss, poor ginger has to have heard some shit before to be so nonchalant about it

everything about this sucks

and then he tries going to the one person who he needs the most and having to deal with him still existing in some state between alive and dead

his body is here

but harry is not

“maggots turn into flies, perhaps you mean larvae!” :D he is SO CUTE

but this entire conversation, with harry still not remembering and eggsy trying so hard to reach him through the fog, is so depressing

like, i’d need a drink too

*and* a joint

i’m seeing my coping mechanisms on screen here folks

the way he comes up with the idea is kinda ingenious though

like, he’s looking at stuff to make himself bummed on purpose, but therein he finds the thing he needs to fix the issue

harry’s smile when eggsy hands him the puppy TT.TT

and then eggsy just becomes a stone cold motherfucker with no emotions

“no one’s sick enough to shoot a puppy!”

hi, flashback!harry

and as SOON as he remembers himself, it’s like his eyes are different, something about him looks like it did before kentucky

“… eggsy.”

one of my favorite movie hugs

and eggsy has to stand on his tiptoes because harry’s so tall

like yeah merlin and harry’s reunion isn’t as overtly emotional, but there’s definitely a sense of joy and relief there.

harry my baby ;-; much better with the sunglasses (and merlin was so close to telling him he looked spectacular)

“now is that any way to welcome a visit from outta town, moonshine?”

he! tried! to! defend! harry!

i hate that jack got a villain story line!

we could’ve had something so much better and infinitely more compelling!

“hurrrr durrrr morgan you just like redemption arcs because you don’t want anybody being a villain permanently” i also like them because sometimes that’s better writing, y’all sit down

“that is NOT what i call a kentucky welcome.”

i love so many things happening in this scene, like

we get to see whiskey kick ass, like yassss gimme those sweet action sequences and give us some character development by showcasing his fighting style

and also NOBODY shits on harry for not being able to handle the situation. both eggsy and merlin were like “dude we’re still celebrating the fact that you’re alive tbh it’s fine if you’re not back up to speed right this second”

you can really tell that this was penned by british people writing american slang because having grown up in the southern half of the u.s. i have never ONCE heard ANYONE say shit like “i feel like a tornado in a trailer park” lmao

and poppy’s fun little death threat infomercial, so great

“what have you done to me you FUCKING BITCH” oof, that’s a mood

!!!!! gonna be honest i kinda forgot that bruce greenwood plays the president

okay but save lives, legalize isn’t an entirely bad idea tbh

hnnnnnnng the scenes about people not being able to get into the hospital hits different in the year of our lord 2020 huh

… y’all i’m being weirded out by all this hospital scenes, this is unpleasant

i, too, wish i could pull a tequila and just be slipped into a chilly coma until shit wasn’t so fucked up

“the fact is, this presidency has won the war on drugs!”

THIS SCENE!

look, y’all can come into my inbox and call me a pothead, or a lazy stoner, or some third insult, but this dude’s VP is bringing up some very, VERY important points when it comes to any kind of discussion about drug use in the u.s.

am i drug-friendly, sure, but i’m more friendly to the notion that we stop demonizing addicts/users

harry looks fucking SCANDALIZED when he sees champ spit into his spittoon thing

i don’t think whiskey even brought up harry not being ready to return to the field in an insulting manner, he literally just saw him get his ass beat in a bar, but eggsy’s faith and loyalty are up there in the category of unstoppable force/immovable object, so here we are

am i the only one curious about the whole charlie x clara thing? because he’s definitely grown up a bit by tgc, and i wanna know how much of that might be because of clara

and he MISSES, e for effort harry

“so sorry about this—“ WHAM

and now that guy can say colin firth busted his face with a fire extinguisher, which is very cool

“*you’re* wu ting feng?” “… yes?”

“you motherFUCKER” ohhhhhh charlie maaaaaad

ginger and merlin though, #couplegoals

the only person more pissed off about the hallucinations than everyone else is harry

imagine remembering that you’re one of the top people in your field and you just keep seeing imaginary butterflies everywhere

like, yeah, i’d be pissed at not being able to do what i knew i was capable of, too

if it wasn’t careening towards a random retirement center, getting stuck in a wildly rotating gondola thing could be fun

nice tuesday afternoon activity

i would loved to have seen more galahad/whiskey field stuff

“you’ve got to be fucking kidding me—“

meanwhile, in the continuing adventures of eggsy and jack: shit goes from bad to worse like a formal spiral only going downward

their expressions as their both just SCREAMING always make me laugh

”that’s the first decent shit i’ve had in three weeks.” <- as does that line, that old dude’s just telling it like it is

eggsy’s comment about the antidote just reminds me of when boromir looks a the ring and says something like “all this for such a tiny thing”

dun dun DUN what are THOSE? hints that whiskey may not be who we think he is??

great. so excited about that. i say, rolling my eyes into the sun

“i’ll fix their wagons.” no one says that matthew!

i. love. this. scene. because now we get cool gun tricks AND the second most metal thing that happens with a lasso in this movie (we’re coming up on the most metal thing)

like please please PLEASE show us more lasso tricks in the statesman movie

“well thank fuckin’ christ i didn’t need any backup.” i wonder if whiskey’s acting angrier than he actually is to throw off the fact that he might’ve caught harry’s glance at him betraying suspicion

RIP jack

imagine the timeline where whiskey was never a bad guy and harry hart just blew a dude away for NO REASON

now THAT would be an interesting movie

because harry and eggsy, for all they went through in the first film, never had a conflict where it was harry in the position of mangling the ropes up

but of course eggsy would never, never tell merlin what happened because he’s still ultimately on harry’s team

damn, charlie, literally blowing up your girlfriend seems kinda extreme

“THIS is vital!”

and here we get to see the biggest difference between merlin and ginger

now, i know there’s extra stuff in the novelization about their relationship and i can’t talk about it because i have no idea what’s in the book

but!

i DO still headcanon as merlin quitting fieldwork after lee’s death

his comment is either what he genuinely believes, or maybe what he fashioned his beliefs into after stepping down from his field role, and ginger is just as sincere in her desire to break into that aspect of working for statesman

it’s like seeing the same character but in two points in time, and it’s really cool

that balance would’ve also been a fun aspect of their romantic relationship to explore but alas! ’twas not to be

colin and mark could both play slenderman

look at those limbs.

gracious.

also this facetime scene with eggsy and tilde T.T

that has to be so terrifying to watch when you know the steps of death and what they look like as they get closer

but it also puts a fire under eggsy though

“i’m leaving with, or without you.”

and of course they’re both gonna go because that’s NOT characteristic eggsy behavior based off of how we know he views family/squad

that’s how they know he’s being for cereal

uugggggGGHHHH and THAT FORESHADOING

stacey pruitt, attorney at lawwwww

hmmmmmmmmm

what does this conversation between poppy and the president remind me of

gonna just sigh into the void

and now we have harry and eggsy on the jet along with the BIGGEST LIE harry hart has ever told in his LIFE

kingsman and statesman aesthetics at least tend to be the same color schemes. lotta golds, yellows. browns.

eggsy, yeah, it’s a bummer your gf dumped you, but this relationship wasn’t very well-developed or written so i’m not as bummed as i could be

“… and in that moment, all i felt was loneliness and regret.”

harry shut the FUCK UP

you felt NOTHING??

you weren’t thinking of, gee, i dunno, EGGSY? or MERLIN?? your MOM???

like these lines from him just seem to come out of left field and i can’t even halfway suspend my belief long enough to come close to believing him

like mr. hart you just gonna be like that in front of jesus and everybody????

so, yeah, of course he’s on board with saving tilde! because he recognizes (apparently just right that second) that “having something to lose is what makes life worth living”

and i don’t know if they felt like there need to be some weird, deeply contrasting reason for harry to swing around to being in support? or something?

i’m forever pissed about this characterization and i don’t even know if i’m expressing my anger in a way that makes it easy to understand lmao this is fine, i’m fine, literally not a single person in this fandom ever believed those lines anyway, it’s fine

moving on

... and even if they WERE true then honestly that just makes me more excited about butterfly knife, because that means that harry acknowledged both the bad side of the coin, and also the side with rae on it (which would mean seeing her for who she was and also recognizing his feelings for what THEY were) and drew the ultimately correct conclucision that love! is! always! worth! it! let that shit in like a welcome guest in the home of your heart, and they will stay as long as you let them!

as SOON as he wakes up ginger looks a thousand percent done lmao

and the “process” that they use to wake people up or whatever is—interesting

because all it is, is trauma turned into a tool which is kind of a weird concept to see in a “fun spy movie” imo

and this is one of what i feel were like only what, two? glimpses we get into whiskey’s Tragic Backstory

and the other scene isn’t a glimpse it’s just straight up exposition in his dialogue :/

jack, i’m sorry, you deserved better than this as a character

i’m sure the name “silver pony” is a reference to something but i don’t know what

“lookin’ GOOD merlin!” “feelin’ good, eggsy.”

ladies and gentlemen when i tell you that i lost my pool-noodle mind seeing him put on that suit watching this in a theater, i--

ANYWAY

because now that i have the horrible burden of having seen these movies a million times

i know it’s more symbolic

he stays in sweaters so long, as an agent of the background, because he walked a man to his death

so it figures when he puts the armor back on for the first time in ages

he walks to his own

uuuggghhhh the minesweeper

i hate this

i hate it

i hate everything about the feelings i’m having while this is happening

*beep-beep*

“you move, we die.”

i HATE IT

but like, i don’t know, how preferable is this to the end scene we almost got, which was merlin dragging his newly-legless corpse through a doggy door?

because it’s been literally multiple years and i still have no fucking idea

they’re both horrible in their own terrible, awful ways

damn, matthew, it’s not often someone manages to come up with multiple versions of a thing and have every version be so gut-wrenchingly horrific, i’m truly impressed and completely disgusted

“do as your told!”

god

everyone just going through twenty shades of Bad Feelings in the space of fifteen seconds here in the jungle

and colin and taron do this thing where it’s like—their eyes go dead? like, there was a light here, it’s gone now

it SUCKS

oh no

ALMOST HEAVEN

WEST VIRGINIA

… fuck

LIFE IS OLD THERE

OLDER THAN THE TREES

“… singing?”

this sucks.

this sucks this sucks this sucks

MOUNTAIN MAMAAAAA

TAKE ME HOOOOME

COUNTRY ROOOADDSSSSS

*THUNK*

and he even took off his glasses before he hit him, he had his end coming towards him and he was still a gentleman

TAKE ME HOOOME

COUNTRY RROOOOAAAADDDSSSSS

his EYES AT THE END

FUCK

… okay i had to get up and go for a lil’ walk

anyway

(and again, roanoke canon, fucking fixing’ shit left and right, because we’re the goat)

harry and eggsy look MURDEREROUS

MERLIN SAID KNOCK YOU OUT

it DID make the grand ending fun action scene a lot more satisfying

because like, without merlin there, that means harry and eggsy get to go full feral

poppy you big idiot you just robbed them of all their motivation to show any kind of restraint and now everybody’s gonna get blown up

except for those dudes who get kicked by elton john

which would be an HONOR first of all

(the part where eggsy’s using his gun and shield vaguely reminds me of the specialist, @bloodofthepen)

and harry and eggsy just—they’re drift compatible! that’s it! the teamwork! the grace! the flow! my god!

eggsy vs. charlie: round like 4 if you count the first movie

it was also satisfying to see charlie’s new arm in action

we love fun robotics and gadgetry in this house

colin firth is really just not afraid to throw himself full force down a bowling lane huh

ugh, seeing charlie slam eggsy over and over again makes my chest hurt

the sound mixing on all these films is top notch which isn’t always a good thing T.T

ROCKETMAN~~~

that shit will never NOT be funny

a wild elton john appeared!

eggsy is indestructible, he can walk off anything

but charlie, charlie i feel really sorry for, imagine being attacked by a superior version of your own limb, i.e. something that you can’t exactly quickly remove from yourself, that would be TERRIFYING

harry + elton = dream teaaaammmm

“darling if you save the world, you can have a backstage pass.”

i love you elton john :(

i would have been the most OBNOXIOUS hype man in the background of the entire kingsman vs. poppy land face-off

“let’s make this fair.” eggsy you’re fuckin’ cheeky

and poor harry, all that lank just getting tossed like noodles

i thought the robot puppers were very cool

“for the record charlie i’m more of a gentleman than you’ll ever be.”

mmmmmm do NOT like this death for charlie

SUPER glad we fixed it

and another scene where i can’t stand the sound mixing T.T it makes me cringe every time

“i don’t consider genocide especially lady-like.”

and are we gonna talk about how merlin knew how to make heroin?

… no?

nobody wanna talk about that?

ugh that houndstooth dress is so PRETTY though

high!poppy is weirdly comedic for all of two seconds and then it stops being funny real fast

whiskey D:<

this is so dumb

this is all so, so dumb

“our agencies were founded to uphold peace, to protect the innocent—“

there’s that nobility again

is what happened to whiskey fucked up, yes

i’m not saying we have to completely remove that from his story

i just

literally anything but this would have been preferable

and then HOT DOG it’s one of my favorite shots in the movie with the whip where harry’s just chucking it away from his face like a bamf, YES

how great is this cover, let’s be honest

like, i’d be lying if i said i didn’t enjoy this scene visually

plus

HARRY GETTING PEGGED RIGHT IN THE FACE WITH A FRYING PAN

gracious

it’s one fluid tracking shot, so kinda in alignmentment with what we’re used to

some people get annoyed with repeated junk but when you can do it THIS WELL you can get away with anything

but then jack

you did NOT desert that

yes, you were in dire need of an attitude adjustment but jesus

“this is for you, merlin.”

/ugly sobbing/

and tilde is all betterrrrrr ;-;

you guys did itttttt

COUNTRY ROOOAAADDSS

TAKE ME HOOOOOOMMEEEE

TO THE PLAAAAAACCCEEEEE

I BELOOOOONNGGGG

and the scene with jamal and liam T.T #wholesomecontent

poor tequila, after i knew that you would have a bigger role in another movie, i was less annoyed by the fact that they iced you so quick into the story

#FOX2020

“… now we’re brothers, working side by side.”

spoiler alert i actually love champ’s toast

“y’all shittin’ in high cotton now” WHAT DOES THAT MEAN???

and ginger becomes the new whiskey like she always wanted T.T

merlin is proud from heaven (or london, depending on which canon)

iiiiiii have mixed feelings about the whole wedding scene, which is probably because i take HUGE issue with the weird proposal ultimatum thing that happened earlier

but the way eggsy says “not a doubt in my mind,” he says it so seriously and i remember that tilde almost died

there was such good intention packed into this couple that was so badly written that i just

augh

“but it is perhaps the end of the beginning.”

there’s ***merlin! lmao i see you dude, they did you dirty

look

i was pissed off about a lot of things that happened in this thing but i was honestly hype seeing tequila at the very end walking into the tailor shop

like, yeah, i’ll stick around to see what happens in this universe but i’m gonna complain the whole time

GO JACK RABBIT

RUNNING THROUGH THE WOODS

and again, i almost didn’t see this movie.

… i think about that morgan sometimes.

hope she’s doin’ okay.

…

she’s probably not. D:

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