#once i feel like i know what im doing i will eventually use foam for the rest of it AND FINALLY TRY A BASS COSPLAY AHHHHH

[bassforte]

I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna revive my Proto Man cosplay.

(I have not touched this bitch in four years wish me luck)

[misterghostfrog]

Oh number 3 with jmart pls 👀

So it took me a bit to come up with smtnh for this! but I think it was pretty good. Warning it is. Not edited.

3. A breathy demand: “Kiss me” - and what the other person does to respond. (CW; ALCOHOL USE/MENTION. them bein smashed is the ficlet im sorry)

They’re both drunk, and this is probably all a terrible idea.

It’s not technically either of their faults If you’re arguing semantics, Tim is the one who decided to continue the birthdays-in-the-archives tradition by celebrating ‘Jonny magnet’s’ centennial something. It was more an excuse to bring a bottle of wine into the archives- which didn’t get drunk because Jon had made it clear that while employee birthdays were somewhat acceptable for a small glass. In no way would he condone making up holidays.

It wasn’t actually to celebrate Jonah magnus of course. Things had been so tense with Prentiss looming and Martin living in the archives. Martin thinks he was just trying to lighten the mood.

It did sort-of work though. Mostly because he brought cookies too, and convinced Jon to let them play music over the course of the workday. Which, in comparison to alcohol on the clock was minor enough for Jon to simply ignore. 

Which, now that Martin thinks about it, might have been the point.

But, regardless of the purpose. There was a rather large bottle of wine left in the archives. And Martin didn’t intend to drink it, not in a million years. Tannins and all that. And he certainly never dreamed Jon would touch it. But...

He had a nightmare, the usual fare. And went for a nighttime wander, extinguisher in hand, just- just to be sure. And stumbled on Jon still hard at work at... three o-clock in the morning. A new record for sure.

Jon had been annoyed. And then... sympathetic. A new side to him that still didn’t hesitate to make Martin's incredibly traitorous heart skip in his chest. Jon offered to walk with him, if only for both of their peace of mind.

First they’d stumbled on the bottle, shoved in a cupboard in the breakroom. Then they’d stumbled on the worms. Somewhere on the counter by the fridge. Then the worms were a shriveled pile of filth and foam. And Jon had said the words ‘Fuck it’ out loud, opened the bottle, taken a swig, and offered it to Martin. And Martin, apparently out of his mind. Had taken it.

They’d moved to document storage, away from the worms. Found a good spot on the floor to empty the bottle between the two of them. And they were just... talking. Even getting along quite well, actually.

He’d caught a few glimpses of Jon when he’s not shuffling around as ‘mister-archivist-whos-going-to-staple-these-ancient-documents-no-i-will-not-take-criticism-get-back-to-work’. Particularly after Prentiss. And he’s seen more since, in the little moments after everyone else has gone home. Little jokes, laughter. A wry complaint about the archives themselves. Just... stuff.

But now he’s laughing, loud and openly at something Martin’s said. Martin’s laughing too, and his stomach hurts from it. He can’t even quite tell what they’re laughing about, but he’s leaning into Jon's side and can feel Jon's hand on his bicep as he tries to keep himself upright.

“Good lord Martin,” he says, and Martin can hear the effort to keep his voice steady through the wine “If Elias heard you say that- I think he’d have a heart attack on the spot”

Martin snorts.

“Look, if he wanted to worry less about sources of- of ignition in the archives. He would have- he- he would have put in the bloody CO2 by now” He waves an imaginary lighter in the air “It’s just- it’s um- it’s just motivation. To get us all not killed by a- a bloody worm woman.”

Jon starts laughing again. Loud and raucous. Martin’s not sure he even laughs like that sober. He laughs with him, too. And somehow finds himself pressed even closer into Jon as they both collapse in on their own laughter.

And then the laughter dies down, leaving them both breathless and giggling.

Jon looks up at him, he’s smiling and Martin can feel his own woozy grin prying at his cheeks. He’s almost dizzy from laughing- actually that’s probably the alcohol. He’s never had a good tolerance for it. He’s definitely drunk.

It’s takes him a moment to notice they’re both staring, neither of them have said anything. They’re just looking at each other. It’s quite funny actually, grinning like idiots over absolutely nothing.

Martin giggles. It comes out somewhere between a snort and a hiccup.

Jon's expression changes, he looks almost... perplexed. He tilts his head, ever so slightly.

“Kiss me.” He says, voice hoarse and out of breath from laughter. 

Martin blinks. Not sure if it’s meant as a demand or a request. Not that he actually minds either way. Jon has leaned ever so slightly closer, and he’s looking at Martin with a strange intensity that his hazy mind isn’t sure what to do with.

They’re both drunk, and this is probably a terrible idea. And if Martin were sober he would say as much, probably shuffle Jon off to sleep it off until he’s back in his right mind. 

But he’s not, he’s drunk. And sleep deprived. And a little hopeless.

So he obliges, or tries to.

He misses the mark somewhat, hitting the edge of Jon's lips with his own. Jon snorts, and Martin laughs. And then Jon tilts his head up to Meet Martin's lips properly.

It only lasts a moment. Because Jon's nose bumps into Martins, and Martin starts to giggle again. And then Jon starts to laugh, pulling back and burying his face in Martin's shoulder. Martin wraps an arm around him in turn, only partly because the room begins to spin again and he worries he’ll fall the rest of the way to the floor. And they laugh until they’re breathless again.

Martin leans down and buries his face in Jon's neck. He’s warm, and smells like dust. Which might just be from when he laid down on the floor earlier, who knows how often it gets cleaned.

He feels something move against his shoulder. And then warm lips brush his jaw before Jon's head falls back, nestling once again into his shoulder.

He presses a small absent kiss to Jon's collar in turn. Jon hums.

Tomorrow, he’s probably going to face the consequences of this interaction. And probably need to ask Jon, well. Why, and what the hell just happened actually. But... for the time being it’s just. Nice.

Eventually they end up on the floor, though Martin isn’t sure how. Jon's head still tucked into his shoulder, laying on top of his arm that’s wrapped around bony shoulders.

They fall asleep like that. Tangled up on the floor, an empty wine bottle sitting on the floor nearby. Jon, in his work clothes. Martin in his pajama pants. Both primed and ready for a hangover in the morning. And somehow comfortable all the same.

[spideyanakin]

Clouded Seas

Will Turner x Reader

Synopsis; Davy Jones was more then happy to hear that Jack Sparrow wasn’t captain of the Black Pearl. So happy he decided to take you in. 

Requested by; @carolxnaaa​ // Will — prior to the events of The Curse of The Black Pearl — was engaged to Y/N, Elizabeth’s handmaiden and best friend. When Elizabeth is taken by Captain Barbossa, so was Y/N. Before arriving to Isla de Muerta, Y/N impels Elizabeth to watch over Will and ultimately marry him, as her dying wish; proceeding to Barbossa marooning her at sea. Y/N survives and then becomes enslaved by Darvy Jones. Following the event of Dead Man’s Chest, Will boards The Flying Dutchman, reuniting with Y/N and eventually, fleeing together.

🧚🏻‍♀️Masterlist🧚🏻‍♀️

"I know you always loved him. Please do this as my final wish. I need to make sure he’s safe." You felt the tears starting coming up as you were pushed to the plank by Barbossa.

You gulped as you watched the shipwreck Barbossa was marooning you at.

The wind was making the water was dance, making sheeps of foam form at the top. The wind was blowing in your hair, making salty water drops come up to your face. You gulped as you watched the night sky that was filled with clouds hoping that it would distract you from the cold of the water below.

“C’mon girl don’t be shy.” Barbossa pointed with his sword as he made you take a few steps towards the border of the plank.

“Take care of him.” You turned around to face a shocked Elizabeth before turning back towards the end of the plank, Barbossa still pointing the blade on your back.

You held your breath and closed your eyes before taking a step into the air between the ship and the sea. You felt the air slightly lift the skirt of your dress right before you hit the harsh water. Waves crashing on you making it hard to come back for air. After a while of trying to come back up, you finally took a large breath hoping it would be enough, soon feeling a slight drizzle of rain starting to fall on your face.

You shivered as you watched the shipwreck that was laying peacefully among a few rocks, ghosts already hunting it as Davy was too late for some souls.

“Why not just leave her on an island!” Elizabeth screamed as she tried to get off a pirate’s grip.

“Because the navy is searching for us. I need to make sure that we don't let a trail behind.” Barbossa raised his eyebrows before retrieving himself towards his office.

Elizabeth watched as the Pearl got further and further from you. You watched as you trembled your way towards the shipwreck, a shiver passing through Elizabeth's body at the thought of swimming in those seas.

~

The Pearl sailed far from where they had left you when you managed finally managed to climb onto the broken ship. Hanging onto a barrel for rest. You shivered your way towards the middle of the boat slipping and instantly hitting the ground.

You let out a cry of help and pain before a sob escaped your lips, leaving you feeling helpless.

“Who are you?” A man trembled as he took a step towards you handing you his shaking hand to help you up.

“Im... Y/n” you sniffed out as you stood up and held onto the rope of a broken mast. “A pirate marooned me here.” You replied as you twisted the fabric of your gown removing about a liter of water from the fabric.

“You- you shouldn’t stay here. He- Hes coming.” He trembled as he spoke and a strike of confusion hit your perfect face.

“Who’s he?” as if on cue a few pirates appeared onto the ship.

You let out a gasp as you tried to identify them. One had a shark head and others Seashells as a replacement, none of them looking human, but sea mutants.

“Get in line.” They pushed everyone and even you to their knees, in a straight line. You watched as you saw the 5 men who had 'survived' the crash. They were all too weak to fight, each one of them dancing on the edge of death. All being powerless to stop their shivering.

Soon enough a Pirate, so strong and powerful you could feel from miles away that he was the captain, walked onto the broken decks and approached the first person in line.

“Tell me... Do you fear death?” His words echoed onto your ears and a streak of shivers fell down your spine at the sound of his voice. You closed your eyes and tried to calm the cold that surrounded your body.

“No.” You heard the men and your gut immediately told you it was a bad reply.

“Well then.” You opened your eyes just to see him raise his hand towards his men. They slit the sailor's throat and threw him overboard, making you place a hand on your face in horror.

He approached another man that was right next to you and to your relief the man had passed onto his crew without a fuss.

“You are neither dead nor dying!” He spat out in your face which made you wince. “What do you want?"

“Captain Barbossa marooned me off his ship, Sir.” You kept your stare glued to the floor, bringing back all your cold blood trying to stay strong as you felt his stare on you.

“Captain Barbossa?” A smirk painted his face. “Tell me what is his ship.”

“The Black Pearl Sir-” You stuttered the cold suddenly hitting you.

A laugh of pure wickedness escaped his lips before he happily replied

“Well, I was about to kill you, but now that you’ve said I suddenly feel generous... Take her up."

You suddenly felt two crewmates grab your arms and the next thing you remembered was walking onto the decks of the Flying Dutchman. You tried not to slip onto the sea moss that had formed on the wet planks of wood.

~

You watched as Rosy Fingered Dawn set its drapes on the sky, lighting up the hearts of the cursed sailors, and sending a few tears to your eyes.

You approached the ship's border and watched the sea as it got calmer, toying with your ring that once meant happiness, but now you were bound to look at it and cry. You hadn’t made any deals with Davy, but you were still somehow prisoner to the ship, too weak to do anything but cry.

"Mr.Turner!" You heard Davy Jones scream the familiar name which made you snap your head towards who he was talking to.

You saw the man he was addressing and caught a glimpse of his face. He looked just like Will, just much older and kissed by the sea. His blue skin shinning as the rising sun hit it.

You heard a glimpse of the conversation and a shiver mixed with happiness filled you.

As the name Bootstraps fell out of Davy’s mouth it stuck to your ears, leaving you with relief that you possibly had a friend on board.

"Bootstraps?" You asked as you approached the man once Davy had left. "Bill Turner?” You wondered and he turned around to meet your tired face.

"Your the girl Davy brought up.” He wondered as he took in your appearance.

Your long hair was wet and loose, any pins you had placed washed away by the sea. You were wearing a dress that was riped and wet, weighting you down. You were shivering every now and then, Davy having nothing to warm you up on board.

“Here take this.” can we talk about how his name is Bill in mama mia and Bootraps Bill in Pirates of the Caribbean. Out of pity Bootstraps took his still wet jacket off and handed it to you. You gratefully smiled before placing around your shoulder a certain distant warmth appearing on your shoulders.

"I know your son." You added as Bill made a step forward, gripping onto the jacket.

"William?" He said with a frown and stopped in his steps turning back towards you. “How is he?” He wondered as a slight smile went up to his lips.

“He’s good.” you smiled and looked down, your eyes slowly getting glossy at the mention of your fiancé. “I hope he’ll be alright.” You added and played with a seashell that was glued to the deck.

Bootstraps looked at you, his stare shifting to your left hand where a ring was sitting.

“Ah.” He said suddenly understanding the situation. “You're close to him aren't you?” He asked and you lifted your head nodding, all words failing you. “And now that you’re here your afraid you’ll never see him again..?” He asked and you nodded.

“Well... I’ll take care of you while you're here. Im sure Will will be grateful to know that his old man is watching over his fiance.” He smiled and placed a hand on your shoulder.

“Thank you-” Your words came out all weak as you wiped a tear from your cheek. “Wait- How did you-”

“The ring.” He pointed out. “And the look on your face when you talked about him.”

“Oh.” You nodded and placed your hand onto your left hand touching the ring with the tip of your fingers, aching for Will's touch.

~

Almost a year had passed and you were cleaning the decks of the Dutchman. Watched as the sun as it fell on the sparkling sea, thinking of your long lost fiance.

You were kept as Davy Jones’s prisoner. Him taking too much of a liking in you to let you go, even tho you hadn’t sworn any oaths.

“How is my dolphin doing.” the words fell out of his mouth and into your ears as you dropped a rag into a bucket of seawater.

“Your dolphin” You spit out hating the nickname he had given you. “Is doing just fine.” You wiped some water that had splashed on your face with your sleeve and fixed your pants as you stood up.

You grabbed the bucket removing the rag from it and threw the water overboard. You dropped the rag into the bucket once again and dropped the bucket on a corner of the ship.

“Well good.” You were about to leave when he gripped your hand with one of his tentacles. “Because I need you to welcome new crew members.” He spat on your face. “You know how to fight.” He handed you a sword that you knew was useless against him. “We have a shipwreck not far from here.” You replied. “I need you to stay inside the ship while we dive, then you can come back and welcome those who are willing to join our little... Crew.” He continued and you nodded as you placed the sword he handed on your side.

You walked inside the ship and into your quarters. It was a small room but it was cozier than the rest of the ship. It didn’t have any seashells glued to its walls. In fact it didn’t look like the sea had touched it at all.

You watched the small window as the ship ducked down into the ocean, filling it with cold seawater, stopping right at your door. You breathed the air that was now filled with the smell of the sea that surrounded your mini-submarine.

Before you knew it you were back up and called on deck. You nodded to Bootstraps who gave you small talk about welcoming new crew members, and you didn’t like the sound of killing people who did not fear death.

You fixed your hat as you were brought to a shipwreck. You hanged on to your sword and watched as some crewmates screamed for any survivor to go in line.

You held your head down and watched as Davy Jones steps onto the wreck. You held the first men up, as Davy Jones's assistant and placed the sword of the side of his neck as Davy was continuing his speech.

Little did you know Will Turner was standing last in line, trying to see who's face was hidden behind your hat.

Your eye drifted away and you spotted the Black Pearl in the distance. Your eye lit up in shock, but you didn’t have time to do any else as Davy Jones ordered you to kill the man you were holding.

“C’mon don’t be shy.” He looked at you and you looked at the helpless men and it suddenly brought the memories of Barbossa marooning you off.

“Just do it.” The weak man pleaded you and a strike of horror fell into your eyes.

“I can’t” You replied tears almost spilling in your eyes as your hand holding the sword was trembling. Will Turner turned his head around as he thought he heard a familiar voice. He thought he was day-dreaming as he heard the soft tone of your voice falling onto his ears.

“C’mon dolphin. I didn’t bring you here for nothing.” He added and you closed your eyes sliding your sword onto the men’s heart.

“Im sorry.” You whispered as your face got close to his ear and you rested your free arm on his shoulder. A small ‘Don’t worry the Lord has already forgiven you’ escaped his lips, filling you with a tiny ray of relief before a sob escaped your mouth.

Will Turner’s face twisted and he tried to escape two pirates holding him, catching the attention of Davy Jones.

You were too busy watching the man you had just killed getting thrown overboard to notice the familiar chocolate eyes staring at you.

Davy approached Will before commanding you to get close in case he needed to kill him.

“You are neither dead nor dying, what do you want.” You wiped your eyes and approached your captain lifting your head to meet Will’s face.

“Will.” A gasp escaped your lips and the air around you started getting harder to breathe as you felt lightheaded and about to faint at the sight of him being here. To think that all this time you thought he was long safe and married at port royal by now.

“You know him.” Davy spat out pointing towards you with his crab claw.

You nodded no and Will smirked at the smartness of your actions, before coming back to what he had to do.

“Jack Sparrow sent me to settle his debt.”

“What was that?”

“Jack Sparrow sent me to settle his debt.”

And before you knew it, Davy Jones was off to the Pearl and you watched as the men’s grip of Will slightly untightened.

“Y/n?” Will asked as he slightly stood up, but getting placed back down on his knees. “I thought you were dead.” Will continued his eyes getting glossy at your sight.

“And i-” Words failed you and soon enough Davy Jones got back to the ship, wrapping up the situation, bringing Will back to the Flying Dutchman.

~

You walked on the wet slippery decks of the Dutchman, keeping your head down as you saw Will talk with Davy Jones. You had been forced to fix the sail, which was what you were doing instead of reuniting with your fiance.

Once Davy was inside the ship and out of view you finished your knot and dropped what you were doing, running up to Will who already had his arms opened for you.

“What are you doing here.” You asked as you felt tears come up on the corner of your eye.

“I could ask the same.” Will placed a kiss onto your forehead and held onto you as tight as he could still thinking it was just a dream.

“I've been here for a while now.” You shivered into his arms. “Ever since Barbossa marooned me. Davy Jones saved me, Will. I owe him my life.” You sighed and Will slightly let his grip off you to see your face.

Will looked at you tears almost falling for himself. He took in your appearance and let out a tearful chuckle.

“You don’t owe him, anything love.” He placed a hand in your hair as he stared at the face he had dreamed of every night since you had been kidnapped. “In fact you made a promise to me, never to Jones.” He smiled as he stared at the ring who was still placed on the hand who was tightly gripping his arm.

“I love you, Will.” You let out a soft sob as you placed your forehead onto his. “Get me out of here.” You whispered and he nodded, wiping the tears away from your cheeks.

- Taglist - 

@averyfosterthoughts @slytherinambitious @ourfavoritesergeantbarnes @criminaly-supernatural @carolxnaaa​

[do-you-have-a-flag]

Destiel shippers come get ya’ll juice!

SO @deadwright​ and I were inspired by Some Tumblr Posts and the twitter Roadhouse  Wedding stuff and keep writing headcanons about Thee Destiel 2021 Married Ever After S16 SPN Romantic Event Of The Season, so here’s that. 

Arranged in order of marital chronology and cutting out us keysmashing too much:

oh man imagine all the burgers they get catered for the reception dean got it done himself he would’ve been so particular about the catering bridezilla cas would probably be THEE bitchiest bridezilla

it's also definitely that trope where all the other hunters ect KNOW that that many of them and the wedding party are essentially a target for trouble so everyone spends the 24 hours leading up to the vows taking out every beastie who shows up on a revenge kick out of sight because they'll be damned if they let ANYTHING stop this wedding and Dean and cas are both having their marital jitters oh god im not good enough what if something goes wrong about mundane things while monsters are getting their ass kicked outside AWWWWWWWW for sure for sure, they’re hunter royalty this wedding is a big deal like half the attendees are nursing injuries but grinning widely

they don't do the can't see eachother before the wedding thing because you KNOW dean would be fixing cas' tie last minute

dean wears a blue pocket square to match cas' tie cas wears a FLANNEL SQUARE

I’m obsessed w the idea of cas giving dean a little bit of his grace in a small bottle on a chain for him to wear or like a wing feather or some part of him god the grace in a bottle breaks me every time in fic dean probably builds cas something but every time i try to think of something specific i choke up

i was thinking like what if trading grace is as close to a romantic gesture as angels have and he's like..... technically i left some grace behind in your mark when i dragged you from the pit and dean is like ARE YOU SAYING WE'VE BEEN MARRIED THIS WHOLE TIME? 

they are so sweet i’m on the verge of tears the ability to do anything by halves in their relationship was burnt out by like the second return from the dead moment they are too insane to be anything less than All In And Then Some

at one point someone was like hey cas do you want to run your vows by someone as practice? and he started reading what he'd prepared and it devolved into Biblically Grand Statements Of The Power Of Love And The Redemption Of - ect ect ect and it's because unlike the confession scene he's had TOO much preparation and overshot into uncanny angelic vibes he makes some edits because he know the expressions he gets when he reads it aren't what he intended

dean writes page after page after page of unused drafts, none of them are particularly floral

he does the cliche of ripping up his vows and improvising at the altar, something he gets mercilessly teased for because he swore he wouldn't but it classifies as a chick flick moment

THAT’S SO PEAK HIM OH MY GOD and you knoooooow you just KNOW it’s beautiful and emotional and everyone is crying

god the NOVELTY of dean being emotionally honest in front of people......im gonna faint YEA yeah... ONE TIME ONLY DEAL he thinks loudly at Sam's smug expression

anyway, at the wedding dean is the one who spends the whole ceremony with like crying cat meme eyes after the confession scene i’m pretty sure the minute the vows start cas is in the same boat USELESS HUSBANDS dean gets passed a handkerchief for his tears and immediately goes to use it on cas' face and they both laugh sob love the idea that everyone individually thought they were too tough to cry but they all broke at various stages yeah sam definitely starts to choke up just standing up there with his brother sam chokes up before the ceremony even started, like probably when he was pinning on dean’s corsage

anyway, Jack dancing with his two dads at the reception CAS’ BEST MAN / FLOWER BOY FLOWER MAN let him heelie down the aisle with the flowers LITTLE MAN GO NYOOM who makes him a little flower crown he wears with a proud lil smile? claire ofc, with those hair braiding skills? she makes it BEAUTIFUL flower crown: on nails: painted dads: MARRIED!!!!

when they say i do and kiss and everyone is cheering you can't convince me that someone doesn't let off what is either a gun or a dubiously legal firework in celebration jack pops a few lightbulbs in his uncontrollable joy

Dean and Cas can't let go of each other, it's at LEAST one point of physical contact for the rest of the reception PERIODT

CAN YOU IMAGINE THEM DANCING TO AIR SUPPLY

they definitely didn't do the wedding gifts thing but a few mysteriously show up anyway; discuss waffle iron from sam bc he remembers the becky incident meanwhile claire gets them flavoured lube because she’s an insane little mean girl she gets them a sampler package with like novelty flavours, gotta spring extra for a wedding PIE FLAVOURED LUBE

it’s gonna be the party of the century omfg you KNOW it! that dancefloor going OFF the BAR is FLOWING

dean gets dragged up onto the bar to make a speech and there's a moment at the end where he drags cas up there too and they're being playfully yelled at not to scuff it and there's hooting and catcalls as dean and cas kiss and dean gestures rudely before almost falling backwards off the bar before cas grabs him and climbing down is less romantic or dignified but he couldn't care if he wanted to

meanwhile sam and claire are outside defacing the impala with silly string and lewd graffiti and tin cans tied to the bumper for the going-away oh it is one hundo percent a just married atrocity there's enough condoms hidden in the car that they're still finding them months later

anyway wanna hear my disgustingly soppy honeymoon roadtrip concept? YOU KNOW I DO OKAY SO

you know at some point dean must have said some sad thing like for the longest time he never thought he'd live long enough to get married and the only circumstances he could imagine was hooking up drunkenly with a stranger at some vegas wedding scenario like that's the best he would ever get and he thinks it's mostly forgotten but then during their cross country honeymoon roadtrip castiel does in fact navigate them to las vegas and quietly mutters that the legal veracity of the little chapel on the city limits is dubious at best and they're already married so it couldn't do any harm and they get officiated by an elvis impersonator and a woman wearing more sequins than fabric throws cheap confetti over them

and after that they stop into every venue they can find that would be friendly to them to pretend they're eloping and at one point dean even pulls out the fbi id badges and the officiant is under the impression he's facilitating some sort of covert workplace romance 

one place is a kitchy little house that's clearly just the couple who run it opening their strange home to anyone who needs it and have been since the 70s and Castiel thinks for a moment when they're asked to pin something to the collection of stuff on the walls and ceiling before pulling the receipt for the pie they'd shared earlier in a dinner out and scrawling his and dean's name on it to be added to the clutter 

and at one point they stand ankle deep in a pond while some old hippie lady wraps their clasped hands together with soft fabric and chants something that dean knows isn't real magic but hey he's not going to tell her that and after the ceremony they sit on the grass and feed each other sweet bread to complete the binding or whatever and it's nice but it doesn't compare to the ranch where they both tossed their cowboy hats in the air and were given a horse to ride to their camp site

i thought about riverboat gambling for point one seconds and now i know in my bones that one of their many weddings was on a riverboat, they made the captain officiate after cornering him on deck in like five minutes, the crew sent them complimentary champagne and they threw fries at the birds following the boat while sharing it straight out of the bottle

if destiel can go canon multiple times they can get married multiple times CHANGE MY MIND THEY GET MARRIED SO MUCH the MOST married i just want them to get gay cowboy married

eventually i want them to end up at the beach bc dean has canonically never been to the coast their road trip is to get to the other coast

they send just married postcards back to sam from every stop sam stops feeling hurt he was left out of their vegas elopement wedding by the third wedding postcard he recieves sam saves them ofc bc GOD can you imagine them looking at the postcards on their 30th anniversary or s/t 🥺 showing their grandkids and recounting the story of each wedding there's a seashell taped to the last one

cas gets a terrible sunglasses tan and dean gets burnt on the tips of his ears and there's sand on sand on sand in all their clothes and at one point dean is blinking away salt water and cas is gripping his arm and saying something about the coral by them in the water and dean thinks that he likes floating beside cas a lot better than flying

dean has cas pick ice cream for them from a truck and hustles at carnival games enough to win them both big novelty foam hats and they both go back to their room and pass out immediately post shower sprawled across the bed and still smelling like sunscreen and salt water

dean tucks a little cocktail umbrella behind cas’ ear

cas spends most of the next day in dean's zepplin shirt and a pair of shorts they only picked up once they got there because neither of them thought to bring beach clothes, they sit on the balcony and dean sips his beer and idly plays with the ring on cas' finger and they play a game of what fictional monsters could they beat in a fight

cas’ true form is the size of the chrysler building he can fight king kong easy that's what he says and dean's like okay but what about mothra and castiel is like how would YOU defeat mothra and dean just goes "bugspray." GDJSGSHSGSHDSJ DEAN WOULD

in honour of misha putting his whole pussy into the role, cas wears a dress in at least one of their weddings

it's at one of those theme parks that's just historical re-enactments and people get their vows renewed there and there's costumes for the photobooth and the staff are like how long have you been married? castiel says two weeks, three days, eighteen hours, and twenty five minutes................ approximately.  and the photo is cas in a classical wedding gown and dean is wearing the veil with his old timey suit and there's a moose head on the wall behind them wearing the top hat he was given and they send that print with an arrow pointing at the moose with sam written next to it

i keep thinking bitch!!!! you KNOW WHAT!! you KNOW that dean is the type a guy who's heart races every time he feels his wedding ring/is always fiddling with it in the weeks after the wedding, like an anchor to remind him they really got married this is real he would NEED that physical reminder that he can have good things

he’s never ever going to take it off, the tan line will be permanent

how funny it would be if dean gets injured on a hunt and the monster guy is about to kill him and then the lights blow out and the monsters are like what was that and dean is just like "[spits blood] that's my husband." and nek minnit cas has just ripped through them thanks to teleporting in angel style and is just like Cas: [heals dean] "you're late for movie night" Dean: "Well if you'd gotten here earlier i would have been on time." Cas: >:| [kisses him]

cas is like i didn’t burn the popcorn this time you BETTER be alive to see it

[pepperful-qt]

Also I saw that you're into hp too, I'd like to request a hq x hp crossover please! Relationship hcs of kuroo, osamu and semi (separately) with a slytherin s/o? + bonus if there are suggestive hcs as well. I personally hc kuroo to be a fellow slytherin so I'd really appreciate it if you could assign slytherin for him! I'll leave osamu's and semi's houses to you ^^ thanks again!

ahhh this request made me so excited !! funnily enough I hc slytherin for all these babes🙈im one myself haha let's go🐍🐍🐍 this isn’t late shh

warnings: suggestive situations/language, alcohol (firewhiskey?? & substances)

Kuroo, Osamu, & Semi with a Slytherin s/o HP! AU

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。・゜✭・.・✫

Kuroo Tetsurou

he’s an example of a great slytherin leader

definitely a prefect/head boy, quidditch captain, and is in like 3 clubs. you bet he’s a favorite among professors too

he’s the stereotypical slytherin that’s good at potions, but it’s not bc he’s a slytherin it’s bc he’s an actual nerd (chemistry nerd? try potions nerd)  

and he’s just generally smart and good in his classes

and so are you :) a prefect too

in fact, you’re quite popular with all the houses and the professors. most people wouldn’t guess that your slytherin based on stereotypes

Kuroo, however, recognizes what you’re really doing: creating a network for yourself, and he respects it, but he will mess with you

you actually become friends with Kenma first, knowing he’s very intelligent, which is how he hears about you other than seeing you in passing in the common room and your shared classes

the first time he speaks to you is in potions class and brings up Kenma as a common point, and continues just charming his way through the conversation

he’s just too nice. but there’s little hints of provocation in there too

so you make things fun and flirt back, but play innocent hard to get 

the whole time before he actually asks you out is this back and forth witty banter and flirting that drives everyone crazy

which by the way, he keeps dropping hints that you’re going to have to ask first, but when you finally crack and start to he asks instead, making you flustered (which was his goal the whole time)

can i just say: power couple

y’all are just popular and no one knows why really?? you’re just hard to hate. it’s allll jealousy

you’re also the parents of the slytherins too. you keep em in line but also have no issue standing up to anyone

and trust me, no one wants to mess with you two. you have respect for more than one reason, and knowing a nasty hex or two is def one of them

that network i was talking about? comes in handy all the time

he’ll casually mention a specific kind of root he needs for a potion he wants to try in his extracurricular potion lessons (yes he’s that person) and you just go:

“oh Richard has a friend in ravenclaw who’s got a cousin working at a shop in Hogsmeade that gets those regularly. want me to ask?”

he’s good at getting away with his shenanigans. usually. you always catch him and never let him live it down

when he acts all cocky you know just what to say to knock him down a few pegs, or flirt up a storm that makes everyone around you gag at the sexual tension

“yes captain”

honestly, it feels like you’re the only ones who know the other completely, save for Kenma with Kuroo

he’s the type that will cast orchideous when he sees you by yourself and make flowers grow next to you before walking up and revealing himself aw <3

other students would rather hug the giant squid than get in a debate with you two, especially if you’re together. they’re feelings and egos will be permanently scarred

more pda than other slytherin x slytherin relationships. you’re not afraid to show that you belong to each other

it’ll be something like an arm around your shoulder or a kiss on the cheek as a greeting (it’s still subtle)

however,,

more than one occasion he’ll come up behind you while you’re working in the library and massage your shoulders while kissing your neck and whispering some suggestions into your ear

it looks very innocent from an outside perspective, but he makes it so hard to concentrate with his hot breath on your skin

and did i mention you’re both prefects? wow do you abuse your privilege sometimes

what’s more exciting than getting a little action in a dark secluded part of the castle by torchlight during your nightly rounds?

need i mention the bath? steamy.. Myrtle’s a blabbermouth too, so the other prefects know what’s up. but really, are they gonna stop you?

not always, of course. shared baths are some of the best times to have real talk and deep conversations

100% supportive of each other and will take over the world one day, we love to see it

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。・゜✭・.・✫

Miya Osamu

the temptation to just make him from Durmstrang-

***i just know people will fight me for sorting him into Slytherin. it’s true that he fits in others but he’s flexible, so i stuck him here for now. i already admitted he was a hat stall calm down.

ANYWAYS

Osamu’s career as a Hogwarts student is made up of 2 things: quidditch and a secret snack and substance smuggling ring he started in his second year

the Miya twins have a reputation with quidditch just like with volleyball (Osamu is a chaser, Atsumu is a beater. great team)

(i imagine they’re pureblood too, not rlly important though. if you’re half/muggleborn, enjoy teaching his clueless ass about basic muggle society)

you’re another proud and competitive slytherin, who somehow has dirt on anyone and everyone

you’re on the quidditch team too, even better. that’s where you grow close to the twins at first, making you guys a power trio in your own right. quidditch dream team <3

not only do you spend a lot of time together, getting to know each other intimately as teammates (beyond the facades) and allowing his feelings to grow slowly yet surely, but Atsumu is also there to provoke and make Osamu subconsciously jealous when he gets feelings

you’re great at talking Atsumu in circles, which frustrates him and amuses Osamu

(more than once the twins have gotten into pseudo-duels and nearly burned the quidditch stands to the ground. lucky your common room is in a stone dungeon omfg)

you obv know about his snack business, initiating a bit of blackmail to get him to do favors for you, but all in good fun. eventually one of those favors is a date ;)

it’s a quiet relationship, not an in-your-face one, but no one can deny the chemistry,, it’s almost suffocating itself

he’d messed around a little, but they never lasted more than a week. so when he realized you’d hit the month mark he was (internally) “oh shit”

you go on Hogsmeade dates all the time <3 he actually laughs when you get a butterbeer foam mustache. it was an accident the first time, now you do it on purpose ;)

you become a business partner for his smuggling ring. your blackmail means you’ve got lots of people under your thumb and lots of favors available to call in. he also trusts your judgement

fangirls are always jealous, but merlin help them if they confront you. if they’re lucky you’ll roll your eyes and ignore them, but usually you’ll decimate them with words and leave them in the dust. you also know how to hex and get away with it (just blame someone else duh)

yeah rumors happen and it’s annoying, bc you really don’t need people staring at you all the time, but neither you or Osamu even address it

both of you are invited to Slughorn’s parties along with Atsumu, you’re that couple

you’re staring someone down and he comes from behind and snakes (ha) his arms around your waist, glaring at them over your shoulder. 11/10 terrifying

sitting in the courtyard talking to your friends, your head on his lap while he plays with your hair

sneaking into the kitchens together. once you tried some cooking charms and the next day everyone’s eggs were neon green at breakfast...oops?

holding hands while you walk through the hallways and the crowd parts around you

Atsumu is secretly bitter his brother has such a cool s/o and he has yet to have a serious relationship, so he’ll bother & tease the two of you a lot to cope smh

though you don’t show it in public and often give off a tough front instead, behind closed doors you’re actually very loving and committed to one another

favorite places for ~special~ time? quidditch locker room & your dorm

you find excuses to stay behind after practice together. your teammates used to think it was just a coincidence until they finally caught on (not that they’d tattle. if you get caught that’s your business)

imo Osamu would probably be willing to try involving charms in some way during sexy times. a spark on your skin, binding, whatever. most of them are one-offs but it’s the thought that counts ig

there’s an unspoken rule in the slytherin boys dorm to stick a drooble’s gum wrapper on the door of the dorm to tell the others to stay out, but Osamu doesn’t trust anyone so he prefers hanging out in your room. it’s quieter and your roommates know not to try anything <3

he smuggles in some firewhiskey and other stuffs for you two to enjoy by yourselves <3

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。・゜✭・.・✫

Semi Eita

(debated with gryffindor for him, but ultimately decided nahh)

Semi is less of the sly and underhanded slytherin and more of the ambitious and self-assured kind

idk why, but i’m feeling a love-hate to friendly competition to friends to lovers ?? don’t ask ajsldkf

you’re a top student, mostly bc of your charm though. no one knows if your good grades are real (they are, but it doesn’t hurt being the teacher’s favorite)

though you hop around friend circles, you don’t have a solid group. sort of an outcast in that way

he knows you exist, but no one really expects much from you. aha, big mistake

every single time you sweep everyone in classes, one way or another, you come out on top (hey i won’t question your methods) and oh does it piss him off. you’ve hit a competitive nerve my friend,, little bit of envy too :/

he confronts you, but you evade, maybe with a little challenge or provocation

from then on it’s just little jabs at each other. he corrects your stirring technique. you return the favor in transfiguration with his wrist motion

you two are the definition of “are you flirting or starting a fight?”

he ends up partnering with you in potions, just to see your tricks up close i swear. he didn’t realize that meant he’d see different sides of you when you study. the way you mingle with everyone intrigues and fascinates him, and slowly curiosity takes the place of spite

he saw you prank a gryffindor into drinking babbling beverage, and it was the first time he saw a genuine smile from you (even if it was a little malicious) 

slowly your relationship shifts as you learn more about each other. you’re more than a suspected cheater and he’s more than a hotheaded jock

you two are the definition of “are you flirting or starting a fight?”

both of you are super super stubborn and too proud to admit feelings for each other sigh, cue slytherin bff tendou to the rescue. count on him for some elaborate scheme to finally get you two together. thank god

once you are together, you’re inseparable

you send each other messages on paper birds charmed to fly to the other, wherever they are. it’s gotten you in trouble a few times (Snape will read them out loud, just bc you’re slytherin doesn’t mean you’re spared embarrassment)

you are in charge of his outfits if you ever go on casual dates to Hogsmeade. sorry eita it’s not a debate <3

he’s super fcking protective, and has a bit of a jealous streak. scary when irritated, but no more than you are

most loyal freaking couple ever though

you’ll have heated debates with each other that from the outside look like you’re fighting but five minutes later you’re chilled out on the common room couch reading a book together, him reading over your shoulder as you sit between his legs

deep conversations late at night in the common room, watching the giant squid & cuddling by the fireplace

love talking about your dreams and aspirations, joking about taking over the world together <3

though it takes some convincing for him on your part, you’re great at sneaking out and not getting caught. you know the secret passages like the back of your hand thanks to being stuck in the dungeons, and like hell rules are going to keep you from enjoying what you want

Hogsmeade, down by the black lake/boathouse at night, and your favorite spot, the astronomy tower <3

you’ll go up there at night, casting sparks from your wand that decorate the air like hovering stars, and just enjoy the beauty of magic and each other

the first time you were almost caught, you ended up in a snug secret passage, and that was your first kiss

sometimes you’re almost caught and then it’s a nice flashback to that time

low on pda outside of holding hands, but get a little firewhiskey and you’re all over each other

late night study sessions in the library that often turn into makeout sessions when you’re finally alone what can i say, the possibility of getting caught is exciting

a big part of your relationship is impressing and inspiring each other every day. you understand each others’ passions and habits, and you’re constantly keeping each other in check while also pushing yourselves to be better (tbh top tier slytherin x slytherin dynamic)

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。・゜✭・.・✫ 

a/n: anyone want a fic out of these?? omfg please send more harry potter or au in general

[i-am-totally-a-human-being]

hey hey! im sorry you’re not feeling the best right now but is it ok if i request shuichi and his s/o going on a carnival date maybe? OOH and maybe his s/o plays a ton of the games to win shuichi the prizes? aah thank you in advance! i hope your taking good care of yourself >.<

Me likey! I’ll gladly do this request!

Good news guys, I’m feeling much much better. Things are looking up and hopefully won’t go downhill for a very very long time. Thank you all so much!

Carnival date with Shuichi Saihara

Summary: the request, I did a fem!reader for this cause I’m a girl and felt like writing a bit more close to home if that’s ok, if you really want gender neutral then I can reupload it with changed pronouns

Triggers: none I think

Writing style and genre: fluffy oneshot!

Y/N= your name

N/N= nickname

F/C= favorite color

You know the drill, it’s under the cut!

“Hey, Shu! You can come on in I’m just finishing up a bit!” You picked up your phone as you ran around your room, trying to gather the last few things you needed before going on your date with your boyfriend.

“Alright, Y/N. Is your door unlocked?”

“Yes but you also have a key, dork.”

“Right. Sorry. Be right in!” You hung up and chucked your phone onto you bed once more as you rushed around, hoping to be ready by the time he entered your room.

“Come on... come on.... where did I put-“

“Your bag in handing on your door.”

“WHAT THE- oh,” you breathed, covering your heart, “dang it Shuichi... you scared me!”

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” he laughed, grabbing you bag and walking over to you, “I didn’t mean to.”

“Well yeah I figured,” you smiled and took it from him, wrapping it around you, “how on earth do you manage to move around so quietly?”

“Dunno, I just do I guess. You ready to go? You look great, by the way.” He looked you up and down, admiring your pastel F/C dress and how it perfectly fit you.

“Aww, thanks! Give me just one second,” you ran to you bed and grabbed your phone, shoving it into your bag and slipping on your shoes, “ok! Let’s go!”

He nodded and led you out to his car, opening the passenger seat for you before getting into the drivers. Shuichi started the car and pulled into the road, heading to the local carnival that was in your city for a few weeks.

He wasn’t a fan of traveling carnivals, mainly because the rides seemed super sketchy. But you begged and begged to go with him, and he couldn’t say no to his girlfriend, so he caved bought you day pass tickets. He was excited, because he always loved dates with you, he just wasn’t too excited for the rides you no doubt would ask to go on with him.

As long as it didn’t go upside down, he’d be fine.

When you finally got to the carnival he gave the front desk the tickets, and you both got wristbands that said you could go on any ride as many times as you wanted, since that came with the tickets he bought.

“Shu, come on!! I wanna go ride rides first!!” You eagerly pulled him towards the first coaster you saw, as he expected you’d do. What he didn’t expect was that the first ride had two loops, one right after the other.

“Y-Y/N... I don’t like going upside down.... it makes me sick, remember?” He felt bad reminding you because of how excited you looked, but he knew he wouldn’t last on that ride and he didn’t want to ruin the date right off the bat.

“Oh, I’m not making you ride it, silly! I want you to try and get a picture of me upside down!!”

“Oh... I can do that, y-yeah!!” He took your bag (and your glasses if you wear them so they wouldn’t fall off on the ride) and watched you get into the line. When he saw your ride going around, he did his best to take the picture to get it upside down. It’s up to you to decide if it was good or not.

“Did you have fun?” He asked as you came back and handed you your bag(once again and glasses if you have them).

“Yeah! It’s a shame you get sick, I would have seriously enjoyed doing it with you! But the girl I had to sit with was super nice and we talked a lot in the line so it’s fine!”

You avoided rides that went upside down after that, really wanting to go with him on most of the ones you did. Shuichi was never a fan of roller coasters, but he was a fan of seeing your excited face every time the ride had a drop.

Eventually you both got tired from the rides, walking around and looking at the other festivities. While Shuichi was buying you both caramel apples, you noticed a claw machine.

It was an infamous game that stole your money, yes, but you had money on you and the prizes in there were so. Cute. Especially one, that really caught your eye.

A big detective pikachu plush.

One look at it and you knew you HAD to get it for your boyfriend. He was a detective in training, after all.

Since it wasn’t too far away from where Shuichi was getting you snacks, you decided it would be safe to go without telling him where. He’d see you after looking around for a second.

You got to the machine and pulled out your wallet. One use of the claw was 50 cents(I’m sorry if you don’t live in America you can translate how much 50 cents is in your currency), and you had $10. You went to a coin machine nearby and traded in your dollar bills for coins. You had 20 chances to get the pikachu, and you were determined.

As expected, the game was extremely hard and definitely probably rigged. But you had your mind set on that plushie and you wouldn’t stop until you got it.

While you didn’t get the pikachu right away, you got a LOT of other prizes. The line Shuichi was in was decently long, so it wasn’t a surprise that it took him a little bit to get back to you. Luckily for you, because you wanted to surprise him.

You got the pikachu on your 19th try, a sigh of relief washing over you. You were left with only 50 cents, a detective pikachu plush, a small rubber duck that was dressed like a clown, a small bag of bubblegum balls, a Paw Patrol lunch box that you were totally giving him as a joke, and a foam pair of dice you’d probably give to Kokichi. You shoved the smaller items into your bag, triumphantly carrying the decently sized pikachu to your boyfriend who had just finished buying your treats. He gave you a questioning look, jumping as you held it out to him.

“Um... N/N? Where’d you get that?”

“In the claw machine!”

“The claw machine? You actually got something out of it?”

“I got a lot of things, this is just the thing that I actually wanted!”

“You wanted a detective pikachu plush...?”

“Yes!! For you!” You dragged him to a bench to sit down, taking the apples from him and giving him the plush in return.

“Wait, you got this for me,” he paused, looking at you with a deadpan expression, “this is because I’m a detective, isn’t it.”

“.....maybe.... but I also got you these!!” You handed him the other prizes from your bag, making him blush.

“Y-Y/N! You didn’t have to-“

“I wanted to! This is also for you because I know you forget to eat at work sometimes.” You handed him the children’s lunch box with a childish grin on your face, making him frown.

“I hate you.”

“No, you love me.”

“....yeah, I do...”

He was slightly embarrassed, having to carry around a pikachu plush everywhere after that, but he did enjoy it. After he dropped you off back home and kissed you goodbye, he went to his own home and set up the plush on his bed.

Placing the rubber duck beside his computer, he popped one of the gums into his mouth and looked at the lunchbox one more time. It was ridiculous. An item for children. But you gave it to him. Albeit, as a joke, but you still gave it to him. And he treasured anything you gave him.

He picked up the duck and set the lunchbox in its place, now setting the duck on top of that. Maybe he’d keep the lunchbox around a bit. To remind him of the amazing date you both had had that night.

I hope I did good, Anon! Luv u bb

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk,

—🐝

[retvenkos]

ahhhh congrats on 2.5k! i am in fact using this as an excuse to put sommat in ur ask box (bc i certainly haven’t always wanted to but been too scared nO) 🔥- mayhaps.... a ship for Harry Potter, a series of unfortunate events and the marauders era (also Harry Potter lol). idm what gender the person is btw. I love to read, write about anything that comes to mind, write poetry, I love musical theatre, and my fav genre of music is songs that make you want to throw urself into a bog in the best kinda way. im smart, quite anxious, low-key a train wreck, I’m so sarcastic it’s bad, m pretty well-liked and kind sometimes. and i don’t like when ppl cross boundaries that have been clearly set out, or those foam banana sweets. other stuff is that I’m a Ravenclaw, intj, secretly a 7 year old. thank you!!! and well done again on 2.5k! (that’s a crazy number homie. not surprised they follow u but it’s a lot 😳)

I don’t write for “A Series of Unfortunate Events” so I can’t do a ship for that show, sorry!

HP Golden Trio:

I ship you with Ginny Weasley!

okay, quick side note but you would be best friends with michael corner, you cannot convince me otherwise. in my mind, michael corner is the most sarcastic ravenclaw and generally a disaster, and the two of you together would be peak friendship.

first of all, you’re both hella intelligent, even if it’s not the first thing people recognize, and you both have strong wills - you are a power couple if i’ve ever seen one.

i 100% believe that ginny is shocked by your sarcasm at first. you’re introverted and a little shy when you first meet people, so she wasn’t expecting you to come out with the big guns, but when you do she loves it. the two of you can rip apart anyone you come up against.

but, what’s also good about you guys is that you are also kind and pretty charismatic, when you want to be. you both are softer underneath your intense independence, and so in the vulnerable moments, the two of you can lean on each other for help.

ginny is a music lover, but i don’t imagine she’s too into musicals, so the two of you definitely do some music hunting together, finding songs that both of you adore. due to your natural curiosity, you’re open to new music, which is good because ginny has some that are very near and dear to her, and she can be just a little stubborn when it comes to her tried and trues.

we all know that ginny is the biggest extrovert we’ve ever met, and you’re more of an introvert, which is going to be interesting, to say the least. the redeeming quality here, though, is that you are fairly versatile and so is ginny, so both of you are willing to try out what the other loves.

i imagine that you were friends for a long while before you got together - and that happened kind of naturally, with ginny telling you, once she realized it - so you’ve definitely figured out activities that the two of you do well together.

but, both of you value your independence and are totally fine for the other to do something without you - as long as they bring you food after, or at the very least, a good story.

i think that ginny loves your way with words - your writing and poetry is something she finds very sweet and interesting. she’s never been one to pour her heart on on a page, and to see you do that is something really special.

(don’t @ me, ginny send harry that poem when she was in her first year and then never did so again. she probably got a really bad taste in her mouth for writing down the her feelings - the diary, anyone?)

at least once, you have convinced ginny to try and write poetry, but she insists that it comes out all wrong - she’d much rather use something like songs - ideas already written down - to profess her love for you.

there’s a lot of dancing in the living room in your relationship, the music on full blast.

HP Marauder Era:

I ship you with Remus Lupin!

i kind of went in the opposite direction, but stick with me.

alright, so we all know that remus is an awkward mess when he’s first meeting people, but then he has the (quiet) confidence to rival his fellow marauders once he’s warmed up to you. i imagine you are much the same way, so i’m going to say that the two of you end up meeting because you have a class together and end up being partners after the marauders get split up. maybe charms? either way, the two of you meet and over the course of the week that you work together, you become comfortable and get to know each other alright.

but then, because i am a cruel writer, you don’t properly talk again until you are in the same apparition class. the two of you definitely see each other in the halls or you pass in the library and you’re kind to one another, but you don’t have drawn out conversations until you are learning to apparate, and you are terrified that you are going to get splinched.

(which is a valid fear, tbh, remember how susan bones legit lost a leg? and poor ron?)

remus is, again, assigned to be your partner (no doubt mcgonagall told the instructor to split up the marauders) and having been well versed in coping with paralyzing fear, he help you calm down and over the course of the class, gets you to apparate multiple times (enough to get your license) without having a single accident.

it’s also during this time that the two of you start hanging out more. a couple times the two of you skip lunch (which is right after your class) and head to the library or courtyard to work on homework or studying. you’re very clever and very creative in the way that you study, so you are a big help to remus, who is perpetually behind in school work.

and on your little study dates (which are not dates, it’s not like remus has had a crush on you for years or anything) you both realize that together your sarcasm is unparalleled. it’s enough to shock lily evans, who is known for her sharp tongue.

and you realize you really like this side of remus - you love all of his soft kindness, of course, but this? this is legendary. remus doesn’t hold back and his comments never fail to make you scoff and laugh in disbelief. he can be so savage in his remarks - it now makes sense why he is friends with the marauders.

eventually, you hear the marauders teasing him mercilessly about his crush on you - “ever since you were charms partners in 3rd year, moony!” - and he doesn’t even deny it.

and so you bring it up in some roundabout way the next time you’re walking to the quidditch pitch (you often keep him company when he has to support james’ matches) and remus stumbles over his confession, but you kiss him right as the game starts (and james is too busy rooting for remus that he gets hit with a bludger)

i can 100% see you and remus hanging out in the ravenclaw tower (it’s one of the few places he can go to escape his friends), reading or working on homework while listening to music. 

he especially loves musicals, and the two of you debate over what song in the show is the best, and whether contemporary musicals are better than golden age musicals. a lot of the time he’ll play devil’s advocate just because he loves the fervor with which you defend your opinions. 

[kindlespice]

ooooh skin stuff?? what products do you use / what's your routine? im super nosy and fascinated about this stuff lol

oof, sorry this took so long to answer, i ended up writing a whole damn novel… my b. Anyway i buy my skin care pretty much exclusively from yesstyle (minus a few exceptions, but i’m always open to new suggestions! i am gonna take a look at jolse soon) so i’ll just link the products from there. Also i have a little dinky code for like 2-5% off if you wanna save like… $1 it’s 5NAYTT

Disclaimers before i start though, I have normal skin (i know i’m so lucky uwu) so i generally don’t stress about whether my products work better or worse for dry/oily skin—but i do tend to favor more hydrating/moisturizing products. Also i’m no esthetician or dermatologist, most of my knowledge comes from product reviews, skin care videos, and my own personal experiences. So basically take everything I say and share with a grain of salt :))

We’ll start out easy with my morning routine:

1.)  Mostly i start by wetting my face with warm water. you can also wet it in the shower if you’re a morning shower-er(?) but i’m not lol. IF my skin is feeling really dirty in the morning for some reason though (like if i sweat real bad on a summer night or drown in a pool of drool x-x) i’ll start with the Perfect Whip foaming cleanser

i find that most mornings, bc of my more extensive night routine, my face isn’t often in need of a cleanser

but i really like this bc you get SO MUCH use out of so little product; i use less than a dime-size amount per wash. but i do use this little foam maker thingy which builds up a better and faster foam than using my hands—not necessary but very convenient. there’s also foaming nets you can try, but i’m not familiar with them.

i don’t completely dry my face after use; i like it damp when i apply the toner

2.)  Apply Klairs Supple Preparation Toner

i personally use the original version as i don’t mind essential oil scents, and my skin doesn’t react negatively to them. If oils bother you for whatever reason though, you might want to try the unscented version!

i also pour this into a spray bottle (you can pick these up pretty much anywhere but these are cute if you wanna order some) and apply via spray. No reason other than I just don’t want to buy cotton pads :)

3.)  Apply Snail Repairing Essence

i use this pretty much as a moisturizer but you might want to use an additional cream or something if your skin is on the drier side?

4.)  Apply SPF

okay so… i don’t actually have a rec for this bc i just use whatever my mom has.  and i haven’t actually gotten a korean sunscreen yet bc i don’t go outside and i’m that person (who is v dumb) and doesn’t apply spf consistently in the winter -.- but rest assured, i’ll get some eventually lololol

Okay like i said, pretty easy in the morning! I don’t use essences, just bc i’m still young and a lot of them seem to be focused on anti-aging things that aren’t my main concern. And I prefer to use my serum at night bc it’s got vitamin C and i just told you i’m bad at sunscreen

But night time is where it gets complicated fun:

1.)  Hop in the shower (but if you’re not a nighttime shower-er then you can just cleanse out of the shower) and go in with the Clean It Zero cleansing balm (this also has other versions: purifying, revitalizing, and nourishing but i’ve only ever used the original)

i usually do double cleansing at night, so this is my oil-based “first cleanser”

but i have been known to um… “gloss over” this step if i’m being lazy….. -.-

i like oil-based cleansers bc they’re a nice, gentle way to remove makeup (as opposed to wipes and stuff) and i do use this to remove eye makeup as it personally doesn’t irritate my eyes; i also prefer balms over straight up oils bc they’re more fun ^-^

anyway, i massage it on, emulsify, and rinse! also, if you’re not in the shower, i would keep my face damp after rinsing.

2.)  Perfect Whip foaming cleanser while still in the shower

pro-tip, if you have a foam maker, i would make the foam BEFORE you start. that way you can just apply it right after the balm!

again, i keep my face damp after rinsing off the foam and hopping out of the shower

3.)  Klairs Supple Preparation Toner returns!

again, i have mine in a spray bottle so i spray it on and tap it in!

4.)  IF IT’S SUNDAY, then i will go in with the Lemon Sparkling Peeling Gel next

this is a chemical exfoliator (i finally ditched my knock-off st. ives XD) and i only use it once a week

5.) IF IT’S SUNDAY, and i have one available, i’ll put on a sheet mask next

sheet masks are… honestly all the same to me lol but i order these innisfree ones all the time; my regulars being green tea, tea tree, and aloe (they’re actually cheaper on their website tho so…).  i also really wanna try the A’PIEU Milk Packs particularly in banana and strawberry, so i’ll probs order and try those out when i can justify spending the money on a whole bunch (knowing me i’ll turn it into a whole $40+ order lol)

i leave these on for 15-20 minutes (usually 20), take it off, and pat the remaining product into my skin

also there’s usually some left over on the other side of the mask and/or in the package that i’ll massage onto my neck and body (we try not to do not waste product in this house!!)

if i’ve done a mask, then i will most likely skip this next step

6.)  Apply Klairs Vitamin C Drop

this is pretty much my daily serum as it helps with improving my dark spots and hyper pigmentation (my main skin concern)

i take 3-5 DROPS in my hand… that’s it, i literally wasted so much before i finally decided to stop dropping it onto my face.

apply and pat that bad boy all over!!

7.)  Snail Repairing Essence  returns!

again this is my probably-not-supposed-to-be-but-idfc moisturizer so i just slap it on!

8.)  Almost done, here’s the Snail Repair Eye Cream

this is actually new, but i bought a smaller tube bc 1. i didn’t want to spend a bunch of money on something that might irritate my eyes. and 2. i didn’t. want. to spend. a bunch. of money. but the little nozzle is actually really helpful for getting a small, good amount of cream actually XD

so i’ll squeeze a little line (more like an oblong dot tho) under each eye and use my ring fingers to glide that up to the lid and pat in the product.

9.)  Last one! Berry Lip Mask

basically…. i even buy korean knock-offs lololol

i just apply this to my bottom lip (my top lip never causes me issues??) and let it sit over night

Anddddd that’s everything! Very nearly got to that 10 step dream but, no essence, no clout i guess. Anyway, i do have some additional pro-tips too:

If you’re buying/trying new skin care products, be patient and introduce them slowly. it’s hard, but this way—if one or more products are causing a reaction—it’s easy to just cut it out of the routine. Also i like to think it gives your skin time to become used to the new ingredients and to “normalize” before piling on new stuff (but that could be total bs lol)

“Listen” to your skin; use products that make YOUR skin feel good, and use products when YOU need them. especially with serums and stuff, invest in products that will help you to address your skin concerns and achieve your skin goals (whatever those may be at the time)—and not someone else’s. Also don’t be afraid to admit if a product’s not working, better to chuck it than ruin your skin you know?

From someone who’s experienced a very unpleasant, burning unibrow :))) don’t remove hair on exfoliation day and avoid putting a lot of product on sensitive areas. Also, doing some sort of cleanse before hair removal helps to reduce the risk of dirt and stuff getting into the exposed skin.

Oh and be gentle with your exfoliators (whether physical or chemical) DON’T SCRUB FOR THE LOVE OF PETE to avoid cuts and burns!

If you have a spot (or feel one coming up) , use some sort of spot treatment. you’re much less likely to pick with something if it’s covered up by a patch (these are my faves) which will reduce irritation and formation of dark spots.

Be as hygienic as possible! There’s no towel drying steps in my routine for two main reasons. 1, i like keeping the moisture and hydration from the water as long as possible. and 2, bacteria. is. everywhere. Towels are pretty gross when you think about it and limiting contact between them and your face will probably greatly improve your skin’s health. Also avoid touching nozzle or dropper applicators directly to your hands or face: that way the applicator won’t come in contact with any bacteria or germs and transfer that gunk onto your face every time you use it. Washing your hands and/or tools that DO touch your face is also important in, again, reducing the spread of random gunk.

Take it slow, relax, and enjoy it! Skin time is my relaxation time (especially sunday nights oml so awesome!!), it’s honestly one of the best parts of my day just being able to kick back and take care of myself. Try not to make it a chore, it isn’t supposed to feel regimented or overwhelming, but relaxing and fun!

Okay that’s really it!! And yeah this got really really long….. sorry if you actually only wanted my yesstyle recs XD

[mellz117]

Hi! I’m Mellz and I’m starting up Kingdom Hearts 2 on the PlayStation 2! 

Just below are links to the first parts of my previous Kingdom Hearts plays.

[ KH1 ] _ [ Re:CoM Sora ] _ [ KH Re:CoM Riku ]

It’s been a hot minute, like 3,155,763 smoldering hot minutes, which would be 6 years including leap years. Yeah it was 01/27/2014 last I touched this game, exactly 6 years ago to this day (01/27/2020) as of me starting up again. This was an accident.

Guide thingy: Things like long gaps between commentary and days will be separated by a line of dots like that ->  ……

Text relating to an image posted will have a blockquote either above and/or below the image

Dialogue exchanges will also be separated by a blockquote

Ok I'm playing on standard difficulty, if I'm having a hard time, then I just suck. If you’re reading this and haven’t experienced KH2 for yourself, why are you here? Go away, there’s spoilers for things that aren’t revealed until later.

SO LET’S JUST JUMP INTO IT

……………………………………………………………………………………………

I always liked this fancy CGI opening. There’s a lot of things I missed last I saw it.

IT’S HIM. Look how cute he is! 

So we start off with a recap of Kingdom Hearts via a dream it seems and our protagonist, my precious boy Roxas, wakes up his own home all alone because apparently DiZ didn't create a digital family for him. But KH is notorious for forgetting parents, so maybe they did. I’m not Cinema Sins so I wont ping this game for not giving Roxas fake parents lmao

In the next scene Roxas is more interested in his own hands than he is in his friends' conversation. 

blurry ring textures, blurry checker pattern. Not everything holds up well on a flat screen TV

He hasn't been paying attention so he's just as confused as the player is at this point when he finally takes his attention off his hands.

This dialogue is so early 2000's. KH1 and CoM avoided this but with the urban setting of Twilight Town it's DEFINITELY noticeable and outdated. So rumors have spread about Roxas, Hayner, Pence, and Olette that photographs are being stolen, and THEY'RE the theives. Who is the operator of the rumor mill? Seifer and his posse. Also the actual WORD is gone too, they try to say “photo” but it just DOESN’T EXIST. This is where the game gets a bit odd.

TUTORIALS GALORE. I JUST WANT TO PAUSE AND CHANGE THE CAMERA CONTROLS STOP TELLING ME ABOUT MY NEXT OBJECTIVE but no no it’s telling me how to lock on, control my camera, context sensitive buttons, etc 

This girl’s dress looks like shes wearing a bra over it 

I like how the animal AI hasn't changed at all in this entire series. And by like I mean hate, KH3 doesn't change that. Sven is as boring as this cat we have to look at.

The gang heads to the sandlot where Seifer, Fuujn, Raijin, and Vivi like to hang out I guess? Vivi is a little, solid black, wizard dwarf amongst all these regular humans and no one bats an eye. This shit is normal. Seifer with his stupid Seto Kaiba jacket, shows up to further accuse Roxas and his friends of stealing photos, one specifically of Roxas flat on his face and Seifer standing triumphantly over him (which we’re actually shown later). "That was undeniable proof that we totally owned you lamers" he says in regards to it and challenges Roxas to a rematch.

A+ dialogue

Seifer. My dude, ya dumb-dumb. If you think for one second that I'm gonna let my boy lose to you, you are sorely mistaken. 

“If you get on your knees and beg, maybe I’ll let it slide.” Seifer says and Roxas plays it slick, taking a knee and looking through a convenient selection of foam weapons. Battle ensues.

So of course I win because Seifer is a pleb, and Pence takes a commemorative ______ of Roxas's sound victory, but oh no! Something stole the camera right out of Pence's hands! Roxas gives chase, because apparently he's the only one who cares enough to do so, and confronts the actual thief, a Dusk type Nobody. Roxas is taking this creature encounter rather calmly. Like mild confusion at most.

I hate these things, they're creepy. When you do a reversal on them they like, plant their hands on the ground behind them and their legs wrap around their arms while they spaz out. Ughghdhahh

Of course Roxas's foam bat doesnt cause any damage to the Dusk, and suddenly a familiar giant key digitally manifests in his hands. DiZ is installing mods I see. I have a Keyblade mod in Skyrim, so we have something in common.

After we defeat the thief the next scene shows the gang at the usual spot with the recovered photos. Ok ok so was "photo" the only word deleted from the vocabulary or were any other alternative words taken away too? Like, if they could have said "picture" this whole time, they would have had much less stupid sounding dialogue exchanges. Whatever lmao.

“Tell us about the picture thief.”

“Not much to say. The pictures were just lying there.”

You liar. Tell them about how you fought a wormy, white boy.

Pence notices all the pics are of Roxas and speculates the picture thief wanted to take the REAL Roxas and Hayner is like

The best friendships are ones where you can take jabs at each other and know there’s no malice intended.

 In the scene thereafter, the kids go their separate ways, the evening(?) sun assaults Roxas's eyes, and whenever he closes them he gets another vision? Idk what time of day it is it always looks the same.

God ok as someone who hadn’t played CoM before playing KH2 for the first time, I must have been SUPER lost regarding who DiZ and Namine were and why Sora is in the pod. More recaps of KH1: I don’t know why they found it necessary to redub over the old voices with the new actors in these flashbacks.

Moving on. Roxas learns what the Keyblade is through his dreams. On his way to meet up with his friends, he tries summoning the Keyblade with a stick, when that doesn’t work he carelessly throws it aside and it hits this cloak clad man behind him. This dude is either completely unfazed by that is or so offended he can’t even say anything and walks away before he goes all Karen on Roxas’s ass.

We’re back at the usual spot and summer vacation is nearing it’s end. Hayner wants to go to the beach before school is back in session! You poor fuckers...

Same, dude. I’m waiting on my tax returns, looking forward to that.

SKATEBOARD

“TO DEFEAT THE HUNSSSSSSS!”

Pretzels at the beach? Salty and not refreshing. I got you fam, I’ll make enough money for a watermelon. Roxas is so poor omg... How much is 150 Munny in American currency?

Just BEAT the cargo with a foam bat. What’s IN the bag? Is it trash? Clothes? Is it potentially breakable? Next. Time to beat some bees!

So Poster Duty was my go-to job in this game in the past because you could get 100 Munny if you did well. But now that I’m older I realized how annoying it is. I had an efficient route planned out, hit as many of the 3 poster placements in that route, and be over and done with that in about 1:10....

But then Roxas goes aND DOES THIS!

FUCKING SKIPS THE ONE DIRECTLY NEXT TO HIM, DEFYING GRAVITY IN FAVOR OF THE POSTS BELOW

HE DOES THIS CONSISTENTLY!! I do have a live reaction to this but it’s too big for tumblr. I’ll have it up on youtube one of these days

Eventually I stopped sticking posters to walls and became a mailman until the game made me stop.

Black-clad man is back with his own stick! Oof, Roxas eats the pavement and is manhandled by cloaky boy. WAS THIS ROUGH TREATMENT REALLY THAT NECESSARY? You might wanna treat Sora's Nobody with a little more respect. AND YOU STOLE HIS HARD-EARNED MONEY! YOU BASTARD!

The gang is on the clock tower, very dangerously high up. Wtf what if someone falls?! Roxas feels so guilty about what happened and Hayner gets over this little fiasco pretty quickly and the next day he already has another fun plan.

……………………………………………………………………………………………

On his way to the station, Roxas crosses paths with Pence and Olette, the latter two freeze and Roxas meets Namine. Is her interest in Roxas linked to her desire to be Sora’s friend? A strange girl tells Roxas she wanted to meet him “at least once” and he doesn’t know what to do lol. Namine doesn’t stay long, leaving Roxas with his confusion. What is going through his head? A girl he doesn’t know seems to know him well enough to want to see him. Pence and Olette unfreeze after Namine is out of the shot. Pence and Olette have such a cute relationship, I’d love for them to be siblings. Pence goes shopping with her even if he might not want to. I can relate, I hate clothes shopping.

These Dusks don’t seem like too much of a threat tbh, they just kinda swagger slowly towards Roxas and grab his hand. Roxas hardly struggles to escape to the sandlot.

Chicken wuss

WE FINALLY GET SOMEWEHERE, we end up on the stained glass pillars in the Station of Serenity (?). Time to grind for like 5 minutes because this giant noodle boy already killed me once.

This thing really unsettles me. All the creature Nobodies do! They’re all twitchy and stretchy. DISGUSTING

DAMN THAT IS A HIGH FALL HOW DO YOU SURVIVE THAT?!

Upon defeat, this big noodle boy falls on top of Roxas and Namine saves him from being enveloped by darkness.

Namine really seems to like to silence him. First she shoves her hand in his face but that was too forward. This time she daintily places a finger over her lips and says her part. Black-cloak guy shows up, rough handles Namine a little bit but not as roughly as he did Roxas. AND SHOVES ROXAS INTO A PORTAL

SEIFER IS AN OPPORTUNISTIC SHITLET POSING IN FRONT OF HIS UNCONSIOUS BODY. Bitch you didn’t earn that. Hayner, Pence, and Olette see Roxas with Seifer’s gang, Hayner feels betrayed thinking Roxas ghosted him in favor of Seifer. He stays pretty salty about it for a good while

IM NOT WORKING ON THIS LIKE I SHOULD. ITS ALMOST A MONTH SINCE STARTING. In my next post we'll be "Struggling" to progress. Eh? Eh? Get it? Like the tournament?

I'm not funny.

Here’s the next part: [ _2_ ]

Below is a compilation of my live reactions and comments throughout this point of the game.

[blondecarfucker]

Creatures of the Night (Part 1)

Roger Taylor x Reader

BoRhap!Roger Taylor x Reader

Fic Summary: You're a videographer, and you get the opportunity of a lifetime as you're invited to direct and film the News of the World documentary. But you don't expect to fall for the photogenic drummer.

Fic Note: I've been thinking about this for a few months, really - ever since I was about to complete my last fic. Now that it's complete, here it is! There's only three parts to it, which I know it's short compared to my last fic, but hey, sometimes there's not as much story to tell. This is a shorter, more intense one. That being said, the chapters are gonna be longer than usual. Hope you enjoy it! I'd love to get some feedback since I haven't really explored this mature, more wild side of the band. And if it's the first time you're stumbling upon my writing, hello and welcome! I have a masterlist in my bio with a huge, long Roger fic called Bed of Roses, and a few requests and challenges - the one for the song Ocean Eyes is a personal favorite. I can't put the link here or Tumblr will make this post disappear - I'm sorry.

Chapter's notes: HELLO EVERYONE im quite proud of this story and i hope you enjoy it as much as i did. its inspired on the documentary so theres a bunch of bits and pieced from there here. not much to say now, so here it goes!!

Words: 4.7k

Warnings: mentions of sex, drug use, cursing

Part 1 - Waxing Moon

The first time you ever saw him, you knew you could never forget his face.

It was the prettiest face you've seen, alright, but that didn't seem to capture it just right - it sounded too childish, too mundane. His face was different - his skin reflected the light beautifully, like marble, little imperfections only adding to the texture, making it more interesting. You wanted to photograph him.

But he was even better being filmed, the way he'd smile when thinking about what to say, the way his messy, bleached hair bounced back the light and burnt the film made him look angelical, a halo around his head - you couldn't wait to see how it looked on the cutting room.

You were a videographer on Tiswas, a dumb gig you've only accepted cause it payed better than your last one, but it was good for your portfolio - Sally James, the host, was unbelievably beautiful, and you had almost no supervision, so you could easily film her in a more cinematic, artistic manner, something you'd never be allowed to do as a cameraman on television news - or cameraperson, as people said uncomfortably when they realized you were a woman operating the camera.

It took awhile for people on TV news to take you seriously - a tiny, young women in oversized clothing and hair pulled back in the middle of old, strong man - but you were their best videographer before you were even hired, getting the job after selling them footage from Woodstock when you were only 19. In the middle of a stoned, drunken haze, you were still cold blooded enough to film the whole festival, almost getting lost from your friends as you tried to get clear audio, doing more artistic work as you filmed during an acid trip. Your parents would kill you if they knew you took your expensive video camera to the festival, but it got you a job.

And what a job. It was you the editor in chief chose to film the signing of the Beatles Agreement, and you followed George Harrison around as he tried to find the room where all the Beatles agreed to end the band that you loved maniacally during your teenage years, trying not to shake as you filmed the reaction on the streets. You wanted to scream along all the desperate girls in their mid-twenties.

But back at Tiswas, the very short interview was cemented in your memory as one of your favorites just because of him. You knew who Roger Taylor was before you've filmed him - you saw his face on the videos for Queen, but you didn't really care for him or the band, really. You almost liked them in their Killer Queen days, just because you loved glam rock, but you felt indifferent to their opera rock - you felt like Bohemian Rhapsody was a bloated mess, and it's success only made the band go on with their overly edited stuff.

But during the lighting test, still makeup-less, a bit shy, having to promote an album alone, probably thinking about flirting with Sally - dazed and confused, photogenic and beautiful - that was the first time you really saw him, no distractions.

So when you got home, a year after the interview, to a voicemail inviting you to direct a documentary for Queen's News of the World Tour, you thought of him, his bright smile permanently marked on your film, even before you thought of the logistics of the job.

A week later, you met the only other crew member that would help you do your job - Josh Barnes, another twenty something videographer that didn't have a portfolio as impressive as yours, but did have a messy curly hair and odd clothing, so he grabbed your attention. You were informed you'd share hotel rooms during the tour.

But Josh wasn't the only one grabbing your attention then, cause that was the day you met the band and the tour crew, and you could swear the band members forgot your name as soon as you told them, Roger only spending a fraction of a second longer looking at you once you were introduced. You wondered if he remembered you.

They set up to perform one of their singles, We Are The Champions, so you can have some footage of them on studio, and you can't help but enjoy the melody, glad it was simple - you could only hope you enjoy the rest of the songs they play on tour, or else it would be a painful gig, since you'll be filming their every rehearsal and every show for the next few months.

You feel like you're being watched by some of the people higher up than you, people that definitely could still fire you on your first day, so you're quick to establish a dynamic with Josh, explaining what you intend to do that day and delegating him tasks.

But once you two go inside the recording booth, where the band is talking and waiting for you to start filming, you realize there's no room for two people to work - one of you would keep appearing on the other's footage. So you tell Josh to stay outside and clear your throat to get the attention of the band.

"Can you take your places? I'm trying to decide how I'm gonna film this", you say, and they exchange glances before getting to their places - you were sure Freddie held a laugh. You knew you were considered bossy, but hell, you always got the job done flawlessly, so be it.

"So Freddie and Roger can't move, since the drum kit and the piano are too heavy to move around quickly", you said, more to yourself them to the rest of the band. "Brian and John, can you lean on these amps?" you ask, and they do as you tell them.

"Sorry for bossing you around already. As a director, that's basically my job. But, if you pay attention, now you're all forming a triangle on the room, so I can fit you all in a well composed shot if I stay behind any of you", you explain, and Roger raises his eyebrow to Freddie, almost asking for confirmation - you heard that Freddie was more of a visual artist as well. He nodded lightly back at the drummer.

So you position yourself behind Freddie's shoulder and start a countdown, so the band understands you're recording. They start playing, and you walk along them - Freddie was looking down as he played the piano, so the lights weren't as flattering, and Brian and John were done with their bits once you focused on them, so you were quick enough to film Roger, basically doing a 360 around him.

You filmed him as you were in front of the drums, and then started to go around them. You wish you had Josh along with you so you could do some closeups - his hands twirling the drumstick on his left hand, the cigarette hanging from his lips, his profile against the black foam covering the walls. But you didn't have another videographer, so you had to do a very conscious effort to stop filming him and go back to Brian and John, now playing their instruments, while you're still dazed by his strong scent - cologne and cigarette smoke, even stronger once you were behind him, his shorter hair on your viewfinder.

You were happy to get his profile later, as they sang the vocals, and a few closeups of his long fingers twirling the sticks in the middle of closeups of John strumming his bass, contre-plongées of Brian on the guitar and shots of Freddie playing the piano against the light.

"She's very decided", you heard Freddie say once you were all outside the recording booth, a small distance between you as you packed. "I like her", Roger said, his voice much raspier than you remembered. "Feels like she knows what she's doing", he completed, and you smiled as you zipped your equipment bag shut.

The other day on studio, you felt like Roger was being funny specifically for your camera - ordering a coffee with one and 3/7 sugars, and saying a song sounded great since his part hasn't been recorded. You watched him tense up as you kneeled down beside him on the mixing desk, turning his face away from you.

It didn't help your work that the whole band was camera shy. John was sweet, and was able to give good answers even in the most improbable interview situations, like the time you interviewed him on a car. Brian was quite honest on his answers, unlike Freddie, usually sarcastic, and Roger, who never really properly answered what you asked. But in every candid shot you tried to get, every spontaneous moment, they shut down, still not used to your presence.

Roger was more open to you and your camera once he was drunk, posing with his bottle of wine with John by his side on studio, giving proper answers to your questions on the album's launch party, a glass of champagne on his hand.

He got used to having you close to him eventually, since one of your favorite angles to shoot was the view from behind his shoulder when Freddie was not on the piano, trying to fit in the small space between Roger and the gong behind him. Roger was tense at first, feeling you mere inches from him, but relaxed as you got used to each other's movements, a choreography where you knew the moments you should go a little further away from him so he could turn to the side and sing, a natural flow developing between the two of you.

Once, during your lunch break, you were talking to Josh when you heard music, so you dropped your sandwich, got your camera and ran to the rehearsal stage in mere seconds, only to find Freddie on the drums and Roger on Brian's guitar, the Red Special, and as soon as Freddie saw you - the camera already on - he almost stopped drumming, but he went on as you and Roger nodded together in encouragement, smiling at each other once Freddie drummed, and you quickly turned your camera to capture Roger's smile again, taking a few seconds to remember you should try to properly compose a shot, moving around to include John on the foreground.

You were happy no one was checking your work but Josh, because it would be embarrassing - you did film Roger more than you should, having as much footage of him as you had of Freddie, the frontman, the one in a gloriously sparkling Paco Rabanne leotard instead of hidden behind the drums.

But Roger was just so goddamn photogenic - his shyness in front of the camera appearing in form of joking around once he realized you were filming, pretending to pick his nose, showing his tongue, taking his robe off dramatically in the dressing room.

It was him on the center of the frame when you filmed without thinking much - in every shot of the band discussing during the rehearsal, or in shots of him and Deacon driving there, or even when you filmed candid moments; it was almost as if you responded unconsciously to his movements, always focusing on him.

You were torn between just thinking that Roger was a good model and actually being attracted to him. You only realized how frustrated he got you once you were already on tour with them, in America.

He sent one of the roadies to tell you that he and Freddie would rehearse Get Down, Make Love. You were in your shared room with Josh, and you'd usually sent him to film this - it wasn't super important, just some extra B-Roll - but he was napping, snoring soundly. Poor guy stayed up later than you, since you gave him the task of organizing the footage and taking care of the equipment. He almost never complained, a sweet boy that always did as you told him, always looking a bit too pretty on his shorts and band shirts, always too respectful to openly flirt with you, but always giving you the space to do so, reminding you he was single in every opportunity he had - nearly boring, but cute, nearby and accessible.

One time you were truly pissed with him - he only caught audio of the band arguing once you were not around to film it, forgetting to take the lens cap off - and he apologized and apologized, never even talking back at you.

So you didn't wake Josh up and went to the venue, across the street from the hotel, to find them already playing.

At first, you got them on wide, but without the lights, it just looked flat. So you started filming closeups.

Roger pouted in concentration in an extreme closeup you did, and you realized your breathing was heavy, right as you watched him lightly rub his lips against the mic groaning "Get down", his face only dimly lit on one side, and you subconsciously pressed your thighs together, kneeling on the side of the drum riser. You took a deep breath and forced yourself to zoom out, your hands a bit shaky as you got up and walked to Freddie, so you could film him and calm down.

But you were so frustrated, you just needed someone to touch you and to be touched as you wanted, needed to touch Roger, but you didn't knew anyone on the cities you were visiting.

That night, you stayed up as Josh organized the footage and the equipment, putting new film into the two cameras with his long fingers - quite similar to Roger's. Once he was done, you decided to take a quick shower, and left the bathroom still wrapped in a towel, the first move you made on him.

That was the first night you fucked Josh out of desire caused by Roger - the first of many.

You couldn't flirt with Roger - he had a gorgeous girlfriend and pretty groupies everywhere you went, so he definitely wouldn't care about you, who never wore any makeup or looked twice in the mirror before going out.

So you enjoyed some careless sex with Josh, and you enjoyed his friendship - you went to the movies together and he asked for advice on his career from you.

You two had agreed on going to a carnival, and he challenged you to climb the ferris wheel before the staff called the cops. It was fun to do these things on tour - you'd never see anyone from any town ever again.

But before that, you needed some footage of Queen's after parties, so Josh followed you around as you tried filming the band having fun, but the only one being more receptive was Roger. Surprisingly, there was no girls around him, but that was probably just him being smart - you could bet he sent home the midwestern girl he was going to fuck as soon as he saw the camera, not wanting to get caught cheating on his girlfriend.

Eventually you had enough footage and called it a day, and told Josh to go organize the footage before you left. "Are you coming with me to the room?" he asked. "No, I'm getting a drink. I didn't enjoy the free booze as much as I should have until now", you said, and he smiled in response before leaving.

"Y/N", you hear a too well-known voice say as you lean on the bar. Roger is walking towards you.

"Roger" you answered, and turned to ask for a drink. But Roger's hand on top of yours distracted you.

"Didn't thought I'd see you in an after party", he said, leaning into the bar as well. You've been this close to him before, but never without your camera between you. You were not used to see him like this, raw, with no viewfinder intermediating the rays of light between your eyes and his, your lips and his. It felt like a step closer to touching.

"What do you mean? I always come", you answer, trying to play it cool, as if you weren't moving your gaze from his eyes to his lips oftenly.

"Yeah, but you're always behind that goddamn camera of yours", he says, and looks at the space behind you, checking to see if you're alone. "And there's always your minion breathing behind your back", he tells you.

"Didn't thought you were watching me", you said, shrugging.

"It just feels fair, considering it's your job to watch me", he says, then looks to the rest of the party. "It's quite voyeuristic, if I may say so", he says, and you laugh.

"Never thought of my job with a sexual undertone before", you lie, tapping your fingers against the bar.

"Really? I actually started to enjoy the feeling of your eyes on me", he smirks, and you feel the blush on your cheeks. Touché.

"Just looking for a nice shot", you answer, looking away from him.

"That's a pity. I guess you're not interested in having a good time with me, then", it's his time to shrug.

"Define 'a good time'", you ask, and he smirks. You quickly think of Josh, waiting for you in your room, but a brief second - and a quick flash of Roger's smile - is all you need to shut the thought off.

"Open your mouth", Roger tells you, and you frown, confused. "Here?", you ask, and he laughs. "Yeah, here", he answers, looking for a small ziplock in his pocket. "Just trust me, alright?", he asks, and you open your mouth lightly.

"Tongue out", he tells you, and you do so. You watch as he picks up a small paper square with his fingertips. "Are you okay with it?", he asks, and you nod a yes.

So Roger's index soon touches the tip of your tongue, leaving the small piece of LSD there to dissolve. He quickly does the same, and calls the barman, ordering Perrier water, which the barman quickly pours in two glasses. Roger passes one of them to you, and raises his glass for a toast.

"A good time", he says, and you repeat it, receiving a quick smile from him before the two of you chug the water down.

It doesn't take very long before you can feel the effects on your body - lights get more intense, and time seemed to slow down a bit. You saw Roger's pupil dilate, and he pulled you to the dance floor.

His touch felt like lighting, electricity gluing your skins together, and he pulled you closer to the sound of Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood, the castanets looping on your brain, Roger's eyes turning completely blue, his hair shining like the sun, blinding you, and you just needed to dance because there was so much energy contained inside of you, and every time you felt him touching your skin, you felt more energy accumulating, and if you didn't dance it out, you would burst into spontaneous combustion.

Yet you needed to feel his skin against yours more and more, and you pulled him closer so could feel him, his smell, his saturated colors, and you ached for his touch, turning around and dancing with your back glued to him, his hand wrapping around your waist to keep you there, close, the loud music bonding you together, melting the two of you against each other, buzzing through the air.

"I fucking hate this song!!" Roger screamed into your ear, but you couldn't stop dancing for a second, so you kept moving, grinding your hips against his.

"Hey, c'mon, let's find my room so I can pick a decent song", Roger managed to say, his breath burning your skin, but you enjoyed the feeling and craved more of it, more of his touch.

"But I can't go somewhere quiet!", you told him, still dancing to the playlist full of shitty hits. "I'll sing to you", he said, and you considered, still dancing, now to Feels Like The First Time.

He started screaming the chorus, and that was good enough for you, so you followed him to the hall. You kept dancing maniacally as he tried to remember his floor, eventually being guided there by one of the crew members, trying to ask where his suite was as he sang high notes to the rhythm of the Foreigner song to keep you satisfied, dancing alone in the hallways.

Once you got to his suite, he turned the radio on, and Immigrant Song has just started. You both started screaming - his voice almost in harmony with Robert's voice coming through the radio - and he jumped into bed, offering you a hand so you could jump along. You did, and you jumped in bed, the water mattress squealing under your weight as you babbling the lyrics, random words coming out of your mouths about ice, snow, midnight suns and Valhalla.

It was followed by Dark Lady, and you kept jumping and screaming on his bed for hours to every song that the radio played, stopping only when you realized you were hoarse, the Stairway to Heaven intro giving you time to recover your breath.

Roger jumped out of bed to get you a bottle of sparkling water on his mini fridge, and you sat down, feeling the effect of the drug passing. He opened the bottle and had a sip before passing it to you. After giving him a weak smile, you drank half of the bottle in only a few seconds. He layed by your side.

You put the bottle down on the ground and lay down with him. His pupils are still big, but smaller than the last time you noticed, so the effect is getting weaker on him too.

That doesn't stop him from lifting his hand, moving it closer to your lips, his warm hand encompassing your cheek, his thumb brushing over your lower lip.

You don't resist the temptation, moving your own hand to his hair, his teased strands tickling your palm before you entangled your fingers on them.

He slowly pulls you closer to him, and you never saw the blue of his eyes in such close proximity.

Cause you were never this close to kissing him before.

And a glimpse of sobriety hits you - you're about to kiss Roger Taylor in the middle of an acid trip.

That's not how you want it to go; it doesn't feel right, now that you really thought about it.

"Roger, this is not right", you say, and he freezes. "It feels right to me", he says, staring deep into your eyes, relaxing, getting closer to you again.

"It's not that I don't want to kiss you, or sleep with you. I do", you blurp out, almost regretting it, scared of rejection even as he's leaning in for a kiss. "So what's not right?", he asks, frowning.

"I don't want to fuck you while we're tripping. It's gonna be fucking terrible", you say, and he laughs. "I mean it, though. I want it to be good. I'd rather not have you than have you like this", you tell him, and he laughs again.

"You're really that decided, aren't you?", he asks, and it's your turn to laugh. "I guess I am", you say.

"Since we're not fucking, or even kissing, can I still touch you? Your arms, your hair. I'm not tripping as hard, but my skin is itching. I need to touch you", he says, and you nod.

So, with Roger's callous fingers brushing against your soft skin and his husky voice humming Led Zeppelin, you fall asleep.

-

The sunlight makes you see red before you even open your eyelids.

You feel cold, the AC too strong for your liking - Josh wouldn't change the temperature, he knew how you liked it.

So you opened your eyes to find yourself on an empty bed, much bigger than yours. The only sound in the room comes from someone brushing their teeth.

Roger Taylor is only in a towel, wrapped low around his hips, leaning into the sink, his signature halo of hair now wet.

You let out a scream.

The memories from last night hit you at the same time he turns around and looks at you, concerned.

"Hey, you alright?", he asks, and you nod, feeling your legs ache from the exercise you had, jumping like mad for hours.

"Yeah, just couldn't remember everything at first", you said, and he looked down at himself. "Oh, don't worry. We didn't do anything. You had some interesting reasoning behind it", he said, and you blushed.

"Roger, I'm so sorry. All this has been so unprofessional, thank God there's not a show today", you say, and he interrupts you. "It's alright, Y/N. There would be nothing for you to do anyway, since I've spent the morning locked here", he said, and you gasped.

"All morning? What time is it?" you ask, and he points to the clock. "Three in the afternoon. Relax, you said it yourself, it's a day off", he shrugged, and went back to the sink.

"Josh is probably concerned with me, doesn't even know where I am", you murmured. "Is he your boyfriend or something?", he asked, and you nodded a no. "So there's no reason for all this. Besides, the whole crew probably saw you with me, so there's a huge chance he knows your whereabouts", Roger completed.

"God, and we didn't even do anything", you say, getting off bed. "I'm sorry for all this, Roger. I'll go to my room", you said, looking for your shoes. "God, I haven't had such an intense trip ever since Woodstock", you said to yourself, and Roger coughed. "Since when?" he asks, and you repeat, looking at him. "Woodstock", you say, proud, and he walks toward you.

"There's no way in hell you're getting out of this room without telling me this story", he said, and you smiled.

You told him about Woodstock, and the Beatles, only stopping so you could take a quick shower on his bathroom, putting on some of his clean clothes. He wanted your company, and you never realized how lonely he could get, never getting to know anyone who had a more interesting life than his.

He ordered room service for the two of you, a weird pizza full of pineapples, and you took it to his balcony, watching the twilight over the Badlands National Park, a breathtaking view you couldn't believe you were getting to experience, just like you couldn't believe you were experiencing listening to Roger Taylor complain about pineapple on his pizza. "I hate the Midwest so much. How can you fuck up pizza with fucking fruit? I expect this in California, not here", he complains, and you laugh at him.

He looks at you, and for a moment you see him as saturated as you saw last night, his blinding hair and deep blue eyes. "I have an idea", he says, putting his plate to the side and going inside the room.

He comes back with a Polaroid in his hands, and you instantly cover your face. "I don't like to be photographed, thanks", you say, but he kneels down in front of you, trying to get to the same level as your eyes.

"C'mon Y/N, it's just fair. You're filming me all the time!!" he complains, and you sigh. "That's my job, Roger".

"Hey, hey, it's fine", he says, moving your hands down and away from your face. "I just want to see you the way you see me", he tells you, positioning the camera so he can watch you through the viewfinder, his free hand moving a strand of your hair behind your ear.

"I just want to see you", he whispers, letting the camera slowly move down as he caresses your cheek with the hand that was on your hair.

He brushes his thumb over your lower lip again, and this time, you lean into him.

And even though you're sober, you could swear you feel the same electricity connecting you as his plump lips move against yours.

---

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[transgressivehug]

your brain makes up my world and its running out of memory so it just reuses data for faces, interactions and environments

braile books

neverending skyscrapers

talking to spirits

I realized I was dead three days ago when I no longer had incentive to drink water, sleep or talk to anyone.

the end of our days comes slowly where the framework of the universe starts to corrode but so do you, so you are mentally unable to differentiate new reality from old. people look different, less complex. more like a doll that speaks back in trite sayings, then repetitive symbols, then agreements solely then a restless humming sigh, growing and growing until all that you hear from others is sheer white noise.

you can wake up and find that there is no one else alive.

losing teeth

insides made of thread and being pulled out of me

night fog

some serious contemplation on depression and how it works. there is some sort of satisfaction from pain both physical and emotional. (we are naturally adjusted to pain in our natural environment as a product of hunting.) depression comes from a consistent enjoyment of this satisfaction

i dont want to sleep because ill snap back into the cycle. i will wake up to late and feel bad or i will wake up early and feel bad so instead i just stay awake and feel okay. ill eventually have to give in though, it will always happen.

eco terrorist

im with the woes of those without problems

ill fill that hole with sickly (redacted)

ill still feel sore when i leave the store

i cant talk to no one

my friends just wanna break me

check my phone and now see them leaving

clothes to patch up my bleeding

all i see is white light.

i only ""had wealth

now i am my real self

until then

what i know for certain

i just want to hurt them

i just want to hurt them

injuries from a friend

they just want to love

10 years but its just not enough

i want to be alone

and when i hear you cry on the phone

i want to be alone

when i see how i couldve gone

i want to be alone

when i hear silence then a sob like glass broke

i wish i could be alone.

hyper reality and post-truth

tooth gloss

végétale

one quarter of the screen being blinding huge and loud but beautiful like the sun and the rest being perfectly boring and mundane

night blindness

a tiny echo throughout the entire world that slowly grows in feedback to become deafening hiss then a massive rumble reflecting off of the sky like non stop thunder

a day where nothing important happened.

the news just went blank or showed a burning log or the anchors sat around twiddling their thumbs and painting their nails waiting for something to happen.

once when you are in your mid forties. while you are in your home. you will turn off the lights and reach around in the darkness for your familiar furniture but when you go to touch them your hand falls through the place of the object. you realize it isn't there. you search for another but cant find that one either. you notice that your vision isn't adjusting to the dark at all. it is just pure black. with nothing to grasp for or even feel besides the ground you start to walk around but nothing comes in front of you. the living room, kitchen, bedroom, basement you were just in has now become completely baron. you are able to run in any direction completely freely. eventually the ground you step on starts to add friction. even just tapping your feet in place gives your shoes/socks/feet some extra adhesion to the ground. this negatively affects your speed as you attempt to run further and further away from where your house once was. the adhesion ends up with you tearing bits and piece of the cold ground and tracking them onto your feet. it feels like you are stepping through gravel, then wet sand, then mud until walking becomes a chore and you must eventually stop running. once you stop you feel like you're almost being pulled back by a million small spider web strands hooked to your back. you sink into the ground and becomes the dirt. this is death.

warm tar spilling from the gaps in the ceiling and filling up the room one drip at a time

breathing in water and mashing our hands into one joint.

fairies

your fingers come to a point

bodies of light

FOAM

GLOTH

at the bottom of everything there is only your perception

bolt cutters to your achylies

killing everything i touch

the fear of falling backwards onto a nail

computer souls

transgressive hug

i spill over (thoughts)

yell in water

virtual reality - all senses doubled

siamese twin surgery

negative light & positive light

becoming both girl and boy

the universe as it is unperceived

untouched the by machines of cognition

there are two worlds

you are always in and will always will be in the unperceived world.

a circular room with a ever lasting ceiling filled with webs stretching from one side to the other. condensation filling up the threads and dripping down and down until you have drops at the floor hitting at the speed of your blood flow. the drips are thoughts in your head

unborn as verb

leg with green blue purple and yellow bruised flesh sinking into skin in patches on knee, shins and one freshly applied to top of foot. scabs attempting to dam streams of warm red wet. cuts from toe to thigh, shine and drips let to rest on skin as beads. the ankles bitten thoroughly.

i pick who i date and i get good grades.

i walk around this park alone and think wow thats all that there is to it all.

i know how to live.

the frog that breaks its own leg to use the bone stub as a weapon

media made by terrible people and which its worth comes from interpreting the author

dismantled radio towers in untouched forest

you are driving home late at night and you are going down a road that you've gone down for years but the scenery changes without you even noticing to a foreign town and you realize that your home and the people you know are gone without a trace

getting stuck in a loop with your mind never telling you to stop

shard of glass in my chest

the longer it stays

the sharper it becomes

bubbles form in my muscles

and pop

hide in public

voluntary solitary confinement

drip feed

born without a body

drink BPA

i live in my BPA

</3

BLINK

a continual struggle of perception.

wisp: translucent like a fish but with green blue or pink tint. delicate beings with long legs, human with a set of seed sprout green wings and young vines wrapping along them. small fish-like frowning mouth.

wisps play in among the threads and fuzz on the iris. fluttering inside pulls up pure light like a snow globe for those who grew up in hell. they love to feed from the black pupil, globs of jelly acidic and sweet.

light has two speeds. quick light being the same as ours and slow light roughly the speed of a an uncomfortable worm squirming around until it can find a recipient it can crawl into and die

transitioning into a girl naturally.

the feeling of a wine glass in the hand. opaque liquid that leaves no stain on the glass like shiny shiny mercury which tastes like lychee.

crystal makeup jars with single drops of hue so pure the vision in your eyes flips and overwrites into pure white iridescence.

sharp jewel décanters filled with alcohol which tastes of warm mint tea and nothing else.

the best art analogies are to cuisine and the best cuisine analogies are to sex.

the sound of winter wind screaming through naked tree branches. there are few moments when spirits can be pulled up through the ground and into the reaching fingers of the tree in order to tell the world their now everlasting suffering. they tell their story in sheer

seeing your own death.

relapsing forever.

what a fucking cope.

recoiled when i touched his hand.

the vestigial mind, only unlocked using meditation.

infantile, pathetic.

imaginary friend:

to see your parents cry.

their costumes fail.

you can never sleep the same.

the doe will shake off its afterbirth in a shiver.

you are two.

obédience to a stranger

she controls everything i do

i am unaware, this deep love ive sacrificed my understanding of. i am just a passenger in my own mind, she is the me which i have no bearing over but she is also the part of me who i have influence over, like my body, she controls my lungs and heart. she is wise and i trust her with my life thats why she controls my vitals and essentials. anxiety is a result of disagreement among her and i, she can struggle and control my body but it takes lots and lots of effort on her part.

this is the guiding reason as to why those who are sociable tend to be happy with themselves. they can understand how to communicate with themselves by talking to others.

being in love with someone else is just a way to embue another vessel with your inner opposite spirit, they can mimic your own soul.

every night you give up yourself fully to your partner

they do not need to be the opposite sex

death is becoming entirely your spirit, the side of you which is unconscious. she is connected (or at least can be) with the rest of the world. in death you are forced to become the rest of your spirit.

the only way to die without suffering is with the acceptance of your loved ones. they are part of you and

the second half is embodied in rest, and stagnation. the inner most desire. those who have no will power are those who have succumb to their second halves. their second half will at the highest stage try to completely devour you. you will kill yourself.

dreams are an attempt at communication from your second half. sleep in the conventional idea of science seems completely irrational. this is the most important reason for sleep.

milquetoast

a man in a suit his being is amorphous and pitch black.

[writers-leir]

soulmate!joshua

i know i’ve been mia for like a while and i’m sooososo sorry i promised to update earlier since i came back from china but i got lazy and then suddenly i was moving into res and ;;;;im so sorry;;i hope this makes up for it

okoKokOKOK SO

soulmate!joshua!!!

cool cool so basically in this au world everyone receives a compass on their 13th birthday

and it’s supposed to point towards your soulmate no matter what

like if you pass them on the street it’ll go crazy for a bit but then point back and be like ‘hey bud you missed them’

and of course there are those stories you hear of how person A is on the plane going somewhere and suddenly their compass goes crazy cause person B was on a plane going in the opposite direction

or the ones about how someone’s compass starts going crazy,,,,,and just doesn’t stop cause their soulmate had passed or something

and absolutely no one knows where these compasses come from like people have stayed awake all night just to try and catch the person

but when they open their mailboxes the next day the compass is there,,,,,even if no one walked by

and oh god if that didn’t scare you half to death as a kid

it was basically the perfect scenario for a horror movie,,,,,,except for the fact that everyone got one, no matter what

when you get yours you instantly do what every other kid did when they got theirs,,,,,,,,you walked in the direction your compass pointed

and,,,as most other people who do that,,,you don’t find your soulmate (you later meet a friend who actually found their soulmate that way,,,,,but that was only cause her soulmate happened to be her neighbor’s middle son)

your parents helped you make the compass into a necklace

you wear it on you everywhere; to school, to outings with friends, even to dates

and you always wore it facing you, so that anyone who saw it would just believe that it was a simple necklace

the only people who actually know you wear it on you are close friends and family,,,,,,cause you just find it so tiring when people ask about it,,,,,which they always do once they see you wear it as a necklace

you’ve heard all the comments

“oh, you are so dedicated to your soulmate! that’s so sweet” or “i see you haven’t found your soulmate yet” or even “you’re never going to find a date if you keep parading around with it”

and you’ve become tired of explaining why your parents went through the trouble of making it a necklace,,,,,,,,it’s because your dad lost his and the only reason he found your mom was cause she asked him to not move,,,while she walked in a circle around him

and you,,,,definitely are not as brave and straightforward as your mom so you didn’t want to risk it

meanwhile,,,,joshua, as an idol, is not allowed to have his compass on him

after debuting, each of the members wrote their names onto the back of the compass in permanent marker,,,,,,and then handed it to their managers

while most idols aren’t allowed to take it out of their bags in public places,,,,there were some whose companies refused to let them even hold onto it

some are lucky enough to have met their soulmate before debuting (and joshua really doesn’t mean to feel jealous but wonwoo literally walked into a bookstore and came back with a soulmate three months before they debuted)

they were only allowed to have their compass when they returned to their dorms,,,,,which seungkwan and mingyu both took advantage of and regularly snuck out to get a drink and hopefully bump into their soulmate if they were lucky enough

none of the other members actually believe that they’ll bump into their soulmate,,,,,,until they come back one day and seungkwan has one extra phone number in his contacts

since seungkwan no longer has any reason to sneak out at night, mingyu starts asking the other guys if they wanted to go with him (even though seungkwan had felt really bad about it and said that he could still go out)

seungcheol rejects his offer, saying that he has to make sure the dorms don’t burn down when vernon decides that he’s hungry and wants to eat instant noodles

minghao says he would rather leave it up to fate,,,and says he hopes one day his soulmate will attend a fanmeet

when mingyu turns to joshua, the only other person in the room, he figured that joshua would also say no,,,,but it was worth a try right?

to everyone’s surprise,,,,,he says yes,,,,,,,,,

and at first he was a bit confused on what mingyu and seungkwan did during their adventures

but then he finds out that they just went to different cafes at different times of the night,,,,and they always got something to eat or drink (it was a good way to find the good cafes too)

it’s not like they weren’t trying to find their soulmates,,,,,,they just,,,,,kinda let fate run its course

and joshua can’t say that he’s at all disappointed because mingyu took him to the small cafe on the second floor on the corner,,,,,and he was extremely surprised with how nice it was

the cafe only opened at night, for the students who needed a place to study,,,because everyone knew that trying to study at your own place almost always ended up not working

the cafe was designed really nicely, with beige walls and hanging plants, and a bookshelf pushed to one side with beanbags and sofas for reading

and all the items on the menu were good too

the takeout cups were all different, made from recycled paper and cardboard

they were of different colors, and also had cute prints and drawings on them (the baristas had plenty time on their hands most of the time before exam season, so they liked to draw on the cups)

and even if you ordered to stay at the cafe, the foam art is always so cute and unique

joshua ends up really really liking the cafe so he decides to go back there every few nights when they’re not busy

and while he hasn't met his soulmate yet,,,,,he’s not that worried he’s just there to get a drink and snack and enjoy the quietness of the place

the baristas already knew mingyu from when he went with seungkwan so they’re kinda shocked that joshua went this time,,,,,and eventually they get used to it

so,,,,you’re a broke student,,,and uni isn't cheap so,,,,somehow you have to find a job, right?

and since your classes are always in the morning and afternoon, you have to find a night job

and!!!the cafe just so happens to be hiring

your shifts are fine, they’re nothing too extreme

you get to work at 8 and then leave at 2 tuesdays, thursdays and fridays and then wednesdays you have a 5-11 shift since your last class ends at 2 in the afternoon

the staff are all super nice, they’re always helping you out if you don’t know how to do something

and the manager also lets you have breaks if the cafe isn’t busy along with the breaks that you already have throughout the shift

you’ve noticed that the cafe attracts two general types of customers

the first ones are,,,,like you,,,,stressed students who need coffee to continue studying through the night

and the second ones are night owls who enjoy the peace and quiet the night offers compared to the bustling chatter of the day

unfortunately, you’re not allowed to wear your compass during the shift due to certain rules

one day when you’re doing an 8-2 shift you notice two people walking in wearing hats while the cafe is empty

you’re working the register so you take their order and their name and you,,,,,swear that you’ve heard the names joshua and mingyu somewhere but you just can’t put a finger on it

it’s only when your coworker tells you that they’ve been coming in less often, probably because they’re busy with recordings and practices, etc.. that it clicks,,,,where you’ve heard the name before

they were from the new group,,,,seventeen,,,,and you’re about to ask your coworker about it when she lifts a finger to her mouth, shushing you, and winks

you glance over every now and then because,,,,those are idols,,just sitting at the cafe you were working at

and you notice them whispering to each other, mingyu is gesturing with his hands while joshua shushes him every few seconds

you don’t have your compass on you so you don’t see it go crazy when joshua and mingyu walked in, before pointing directly at joshua

but,,,,they notice,,,,and mingyu’s trying to get joshua to go talk to you but he’s not having it because you have not had a reaction and that obviously means you aren’t his soulmate

this goes on for a few weeks, every time it quiets down in the cafe during your shift, joshua and mingyu walk in, order their drinks, sit down, and whisper to each other while gesturing

and every time before they leave joshua sends you a smile and a small wave and you,,,,,don’t understand the meaning of that but you smile and wave back because your parents raised you better

one day though, mingyu has enough, because he just can’t understand why joshua would not want to go talk to his soulmate when they’re right there

so he walks up to the counter and asks your coworker where you are

you’re actually on break, so you’re in the back checking your phone, messaging your roommate to ask her if she wanted anything from the cafe since she had an exam coming up

your coworker comes in and really excitedly pulls you by the arm and you’re like what,,,,do you want,,,,?

a minute later you’re standing in front of mingyu, with the counter separating you two and you only just realize how tall he is

mingyu’s grinning and bouncing like an overexcited puppy when you ask him what he needs, were the drinks not to their satisfaction? did you accidentally make the wrong thing?

he points to joshua and straight up says “he’s your soulmate”

and you’re kinda like hahhaha,,,,,funny joke,,,,,and mingyu frowns at this so he asks you where your compass is

you tell him the rules state no one is allowed to have their compass on their person while working, and you’d need permission from your manager

and,,,of course your manager says yes because this is joshua he’s the sweetest boy in the entire world no one can say no to him,,,,even if it’s indirectly

you grab your compass and as you’re walking out behind the counter you realize that you’re shaking because oh my god you were going to meet your soulmate and he’s joshua he’s an idol

joshua looks just as nervous if not even more and it makes you kinda laugh a little

and so the both of you put your compasses on the table face down, deciding to flip it over on a count of three

and you don’t think you’d ever be able to describe the feeling you got when you both turned your compasses over,,,,,and they were pointing to each other

of course mingyu makes joshua walk around you once, and then makes you walk around joshua once just to be 100% sure

and even before you’ve checked,,,,you and joshua already know that you’re soulmates

joshua asks you when your shift ends and you tell him that you have another hour before you can leave

but your manager (along with the rest of your coworkers who have been listening from behind the counter) tell you to go home already and get to know your soulmate a little bit

and joshua’s super sweet about it

he asks if you would be okay with him walking you home and of course you say yes!

you quickly grab a black coffee for your roommate (she was pulling an all-nighter) before grabbing your coat and leaving with joshua

mingyu’s already left for the dorms, and so you’re left walking with him alone

but it’s not awkward in any way

you both fall into conversation pretty easily, him asking you about your studies and you asking him about his work

when you arrive at your apartment you ask for his number,,,,and he sort of pouts because he wanted to ask you for your number first but )): it’ll do )):

you go into your apartment super excited and hand your roommate the coffee (she raises an eyebrow at how you’re so excited and why you’re home early but doesn’t question it) before jumping onto your bed and looking at the contact number that you had just saved

and joshua is doing the same as he enters the dorms, ignoring the knowing looks and winks that the rest of the members send him

the next day, as you’re leaving for a family lunch, you put your necklace back on, but this time you have it facing outwards

and when your aunt tells you (again) that you’ll never find a date if you do that, you tell her that you don’t need to anymore, and that you’re extremely happy with your soulmate

(you leave that lunch almost more satisfied about the shocked looks on your family’s faces than when you tell the story to joshua later that night)

[abundantchewtoys]

HS Epi: Meat p19 reaction

I... don't really know what to expect anymore.

What could the wallet contain. A Dad note. A Terezi note. Or captchalogued people?

Odds are even we won't be seeing it right away. Though I'd dread to see Dirk's omniscient narrative voice take over narration of the post-victory scenes.

Still, Dirk should know better by now than to rely on his strong points this much. They're not evened out by a reliable moral compass all the time, and he's seen the results of that before. Guess with great knowledge comes great arrogance.

"Anyway, back to the B Plot." Ah yes, the B Plot. On Earth C. Featuring A2 trolls Karkat and Kanaya.

"Right about now, Jade should be wrapping up her political presentation to Roxy and Calliope" Ah, skipping right to the end of that, are we.

"Jade’s got this disarming combo of head-in-the-clouds flightiness and the kind of legit, down-to-earth cred that can only be earned by having done something like cutting open your own grandfather and stuffing him full of polyurethane foam." Ah yes, one of these definitely led to the other.

"neoliberal austerity measures" How often can we repeat the same 3 words?

"

Roxy groans upon hearing the phrase “neoliberal austerity measures” for no less than the third time in this presentation." Roxy the audience surrogate. Since it's our 3rd time too.

"JADE: as i outlined here in graph b-2 JADE: and here in figure a-6" It's a good thing timelines can only be scratched the once. A6 Alternia would have been a dreadful sight.

"JADE: and here!!! in this very spooky drawing i dictated to callie JADE: (great drawing by the way!!!) CALLIOPE: ^u^" Hah, Calliope's drawing skills have found another use! Political Powerpoints.

"JADE: the thing is that jane is an establishment leader JADE: shes looking at doing things the way our old universes did them JADE: shes pretty convinced that shes going to be able to replicate the capitalist hierarchies that earth had but in a more “responsible” way JADE: but none of that stuff actually worked!!!!!" That's a nice summary of the things that are wrong to Jane's approach, actually. Though it doesn't provide an answer to the underlying problem yet.

"ROXY: and u think karkat can do better? JADE: i think its worth it to give him a chance JADE: hes a leader of the people AND hes experienced firsthand what happens when establishment goes too far JADE: which i imagine you can sympathize with!" This really feels like a boardroom conference, with Jane trying to get a preliminary backing out of a captain of industry.

"Her graphs are floating around the living room in disarray." Hah, she's using her space powers for this in another mundane application. Though... not in any offical setting, it seems. Roxy and Calliope's home.

"CALLIOPE: i’m... CALLIOPE: going to get Us tea and snacks. woUld yoU like some, jade?" To be fair, Calliope's probably going to follow Roxy in her eventual decision, anyway. Her childhood fascination with trolls might have been abandoned for new interests, or she might trust her friend's judgment in matters political.

"Calliope excuses herself from the conversation, and flees to the kitchen, seemingly making no attempt to disguise the fact that she is in fact fleeing." What a cutey. Calliope might in fact be trying to flee anything reeking of negativity, associating it with black romance and such.

"Jade deflates as she watches her go, sensing that her presentation wasn’t the slam dunk she was hoping for." It's so easy forgetting that the narration is also at least in part steering the story at this point. >_<

"ROXY: well i gotta say ROXY: this has been a hella convincing argument all in all ROXY: buuuuut idk if i can help u out" Maybe they would actually like to stay neutral?

"She and Calliope live in a belfry above New Prospit. One end of their living room is an oriel window that looks out over a public park. The other disappears into an arcading hallway lit at the far end by a giant stained glass window that Calliope made herself. The corbels supporting it have windy, abstract shapes carved into them." Artsy! I didn't know what to picture for their living space, but actually Calliope taking to carapacian art-deco and giving it a cheruban twist really works!

"That’s what keeps Jade Harley flitting from couch to couch, relationship to relationship. She can’t stop thinking to herself that “home” comes awfully close to rhyming with “alone.”" Home Alone, huh?

"Home is John, who doesn’t call anymore. Home is when Rose and Kanaya welcome her in from a cold night and help her set lyrics to her sick basslines. Home is here, snorting at Roxy’s irreverent method of storytelling and admiring Callie’s art. Home is Dave and Karkat." This REALLY reminds me of the Tramp, as he had a home in every street he frequented.

"ROXY: im alls ABOUT the sowing of discord among my childhood friends" She's had quite her fill of the dramas. That's a valid reason to stay out of it. She'll just have to weight it against the downsides of not influencing the outcome of the election in any positive way.

"JADE: dirk got to you first ROXY: not even ROXY: i got no problem tellin dirk where to stick it lmao ROXY: but dirks not the one running JADE: you think hes NOT the one pulling the strings behind the scenes? ROXY: sure but give janey a lil credit" On the one hand I'm glad Roxy's got such a backbone, on the other hand, off course we know Dirk's still influencing the outcome at the moment. Also, uh, he's got no issues invading the lives of his friends personally, even after telling us off on the subject first.

"ROXY: but shes yknow JADE: ruthless? :B

Roxy frowns. Jade is being pretty unfair." I get the feeling Jade is less good at filtering her words lately. And I also get the feeling Dirk is starting to sow a little conflict.

"ROXY: shes gotta be miss perfect all the time for the billboards n press meetings ROXY: always wearin those power suits trying to look like a big bad bitch JADE: you mean like....... the condesce? ROXY: wow ouch JADE: im not just imagining it though, right??? JADE: you see it too JADE: not to dredge up something horrible from your history JADE: but her whole image is just kinda...... *woof* ROXY: is that what you guys think? ROXY: u and dave and karkat?" It's something they should have brought up via intermediary channels to Jane on beforehand. Not let fester until all they could think of to "stop" her was introduce a late-to-the-party candidate.

Jade might also be doubly upset with Jane for seemingly mirroring the Condesce, as they were both brainwashed by her.

"Roxy leans forward and stares Jade down, like she’s searching for something behind Jade’s eyes." That's the same thing she did with John! Guess she's trying to find out some of her secrets.

"Jade unwittingly responds in kind, looking for meaning behind Roxy’s gaze. But she comes up empty. And to be honest, so do I." That unfathomable personality might be your spanner in the works, Dirk. I can only hope she's secretly onto him. Her Void powers manifest the 'obscurity' different from Equius.

"In the spirit of full disclosure, Roxy’s the only one left I haven’t been able to crack. Her mind remains a total enigma to me, just like it always has." It's interesting, since they share so much in childhood upbringing, progeny, demeanor even at times...

"invisible, even to increasingly omniscient parties such as myself" *coughDocScratchcough* ... What would Reload Roxy be doing right now, assuming the session's timeline didn't stop when Caliborn's soul 'left' it?

"ROXY: but shes not betty crocker ROXY: and i luv her and i dont wanna hurt her feelings" N'aww.

"ROXY: and thats p much all there is to say on the matter" Second time the phrase's been used in the epilogues!

"CALLIOPE: oh, i’d rather stay Uninvolved, thank yoU." Passive player to the brink.

"CALLIOPE: i feel like interfering in both politics and a personal argUment between my friends woUld be impolite as well as kind of... stressfUl, to be honest. JADE: yeah JADE: sorry callie i probably shouldnt have put all that on you CALLIOPE: less apologizing, more snacking!" It's nice to see they're cutting her some slack. A horrible childhood, an early death, a spiel as a ghost... Oh, sure, she's one of the good guys and as such would have some responsibilities in the end, but it's nice for a change they don't expect too much from her. Maybe a bit too little for her own good, but still.

"Calliope claps her hands together. It’s a bright noise. Her tone of voice is bright too. All these years and she still can’t believe that she has so many friends. She smiles at Jade, and Jade smiles back. The tea tastes great. The cakes are even better. Callie’s an artist in everything she does." ^u^ Aww, that warms my heart at least.

"JADE: wow callie youre such an amazing hostess!" ... Well, she's a more excellent host than Doc Scratch, for sure!

"ROXY: psst not “her,” “them”" ... I see! Well, guess we'll be getting some more insight into the androgyn bodies of cherubs and how Calliope has updated her self image over all these years? Caliborn still had the giant eyelashes, so it stands to reason there were also other, more masculine traits to Calliope's body even when she still shared it with her brother.

"JADE: oh wow!" Oh, I figured Jade already knew about Calliope's preferred pronouns, but it seems not!

"CALLIOPE: bUt i did take comfort in “being a girl” for a very long time. this is something i’ve only recently decided." ... I just remembered how Calmasis also was this androgynous figure. ... I wonder if Calliope will be thinking about a name change.

So, I don't think Roxy's haircut is a sign she's genderfluid now too, but I imagine a lot of fanart has already been created for butch!Roxy by the time I read this.

"ROXY: m-me too actually" Oh. N-never mind then. That caught me unaware! I didn't see that in Roxy. For one, despite all the pink and the ponies, she didn't seem like she felt "trapped" in a role to me. Unlike Calliope, where I can see how she might have felt obliged to embrace everything not-Caliborn.

But this does shed a whole new light on Mom's overly childish and girlish bedroom in the lab. Like she was trying to compensate for something. Uhm... It might also be one of the main reasons behind her drinking problem. Her embracing girlish, adult woman habits but never feeling like they 'fit'.

Well well. Homestuck's main characters continue to be representation incarnate.

"Wait.

   What?" PFFFFFFFFFF. I love it. Dirk's reaction is gold. Guess this completely blindsided him too and didn't shed any more lights on the inner workings of her mind than he thought. So even if he knew she was holding something back after the "yea", and maybe encouraged her to keep speaking, he didn't know what to expect.

"Roxy? Seriously?

Like I said, fucking inscrutable." Dirk has NOT just had an "I knew it!" moment.

"I never would have guessed. Not that I’ve spent much time contemplating issues related to gender. I’m pretty secure in my expression of masculinity, and..." That's a suspiciously specific acknowledgement, though, Dirky boy. :P

"You know what? Fuck this. I don’t owe anyone an explanation of any sort on this topic. I’m confident with who I am, what I am, my gender, as well as my understanding of the concept. You want my honest opinion? It’s fucking fantastic. Good for them. Both of them, I mean, but also, both of them in a singular fashion, since each one can now individually be referred to by the conventionally plural word “them.”" Pffff, of all the things. I didn't think this would have Dirk fly off the handle in such a Dave-way, while still narrating, but I'm happy to see it. In an out-of-story sense, Dirk is currently the audience surrogate, showcasing what a "true fanboy"'s reaction could be like, if they were both shocked to the core but mature enough to get over their shock without throwing around accusations and tantrums.

But yeah, at least the aloofness is gone from his voice, for just this time.

"I’m ecstatic for this personal development they’ve embraced, for the people they are, the lack of gender they identify with, and the pronouns they prefer. I’ve got no problem with it whatsoever, and frankly, it’s fucking insulting anyone would ever imagine otherwise." I can picture him speaking through gritted teeth, it's glorious! 'This is good, this is fine. I am doing great!'

"ROXY: ahah hahaha hell of a way to come out" Ooh, so she's not even out to Jane or Rose yet!

"ROXY: what even is gender" That is SUCH a Roxy thing to say. Also, almost stoner like. Picture Gamzee going like (in his quirk): 'Have you ever really THOUGHT about gender, man? I mean, really THOUGHT about it.'

"Jade looks at where her hands are folded in her lap. Bites her lip. She has her own concerns about this, her own thoughts. Reasonable thoughts, I’d say." "ROXY: i mean that was all stuff from our old universe ROXY: whyd we even bring it here right? JADE: right" I think for Jade it's not something she'd discard so easily! I mean, it all depends on whether 'gender' is something antigonal to your self image, in the end, I guess. If it isn't hindering you... that's how you stay heteronormative in some or all elements.

"Calliope takes a teacake between two of her claws and eats it delicately, hyper-aware of the horrible gnashing and snapping her powerful jaw is capable of.

CALLIOPE: my ideas aboUt gend—

SHIT. Between two of /their/ claws." HAH. Oh my god. The narration cut off Calliope. ... Pffff, though it IS a good callout, since I've been using gendered pronouns still to refer to Calliope. Whoops!

"CALLIOPE: i sUppose i only thoUght of myself as a girl because my, Um... CALLIOPE: my brother took mascUlinity qUite serioUsly." A) Still not saying his name :P B) Using his preferred pronouns.

"CALLIOPE: by which i mean, he became very enthUsiastic aboUt all the things it sUpposedly meant to be a boy. CALLIOPE: cherUb existence is dichotomoUs, bUt not in the same way hUman biology is. CALLIOPE: i sUppose oUr view of hUman cUlture indirectly inflUenced alternia’s development, which in tUrn affected yoUrs, which is something i’ve had a lot of time to think aboUt since we came here." Oh right! Lord English & Doc Scratch helped shape Alternia's development, so in a lot of bad ways there was a focus on power and masculinity, which may have trickled down into Earth's because of who created our universe, and thus it might all have been a self fulfilling prophecy, what Caliborn's gender identity is concerned! Guess we were due another one of these loops. :P

"ROXY: so much of what earth c thinks what boys and girls “SHOULD” do comes straight from the imagination of a bunch of dumb teens ROXY: which is totally FUCKED JADE: sure" Yes, and so much of what Earth C "should" be like, as a victory state reward planet, and the epilogues by extension, exists only in the imagination of a bunch of dumb humans spread over this globe. :P I reek a callout. Not undeserved, mind.

"She probably would have loved being a “they” when she was a teen." (Referring to Jade.) I'll grant you that, Dirk. But I thought you were doing paraphrasing other people's thoughts for the course of this conversation?

"i liked the idea of dirk" He'll love to hear that. :P Well, you know, Karkat had the same thing, he loved the idea of Condesce as a powerful leader, if not always the result of that leadership.

"ROXY: and also literally no one else on the entire planet was alive at the time

ROXY: but we had some babies without even bein consulted about it anyway so w/e" Context!

"JADE: personally im a big fan!

And like that, Jade’s smiling again." Nothing like Dave & Karkat to lift her mood. :P

"The storm clouds pass so quickly in her world, you almost wouldn’t have thought there was anything wrong at all. Roxy and Calliope certainly didn’t notice.

But there is something wrong. And this time, they’ll notice." Uhhh, wrong with Jade? Or something wrong with Earth C in general? Besides Dirk taking over, I mean. Oh no! ... Calliope left the kettle on! :P

"JADE: i... JADE: i.........

Jade drops her tea. The cup hits the floor and shatters." ... Is she passing out?? Just like Rose??

... Oh no. This doesn't have anything to do with John going back, retconning the timeline, and some of their selves being killed right? It shouldn't influence them, since they're from a different timeline, but with the talk about canon and relevance and truth and shit...

Is Dave going to pass out next???

Did John accidentally change the Reload timeline to be the alpha one, and is the future adjusting to the changes??? Or is it due to something to do with Lord English' powers in killing a different 'real' version of them?

"She takes in a sharp breath. She’s not feeling well suddenly. She’s dizzy, feverish, seeing things beyond her field of vision. A blinding flash of light. A black, perfect circle, burning a hole in her eyes." Wow. Just like John, she gets a vision of the Black Hole! So, maybe it's more like she gets backlash from suddenly absorbing the memories of Reload Jade.

"She doesn’t look bad at all— Jade wears unconsciousness well, having spent the better part of her life napping." Aaaand we're back in sleeping beauty terrain.

"But she can’t hear her. Jade is somewhere else right now." Uhhhhh. I thought they didn't really dream in the dreambubbles post-victory no more?? Also, those were all destroyed by LE, anyway.

Dang. That's weird.

Are the B1 kids (adults) actually going to be gathering in the Furthest Ring in 'person'? But why, and how? ... There isn't anything like a 'dreambubble self' body that persists in the Furthest Ring that John could have woken up like how you could wake people up on Derse and Prospit. ... Now I'm reminded of an old fanart I made of a green moon circling the Green Sun, with green dream selves for all humans & trolls we knew at the time (B1 and A2). :P

[e8luhs]

WOKE UP NEW.

LISTEN ON SPOTIFY

TRACKLIST & ANNOTATIONS UNDER THE CUT! (last edited 03.16.19)

I. ARE YOU SATISFIED? / MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS

cause it’s my problem if i want to pack up and run away it’s my business if i feel the need to smoke and drink and swear it’s my problem, it’s my problem if i feel the need to hide and it’s my problem if i have no friends and feel i want to die

II. LIFESPAN / VAULTS

oh, you took what you wanted to take and yet you never wanted nothing from me oh, you took what you wanted to take and yet you never wanted nothing from me

III. RAIN IN SOHO / THE MOUNTAIN GOATS

no promise sweeter than a blood pact nothing harder to go through than a vanishing act no morning colder than the first frost no friends close than the ones we've lost

IV. LEMON GLOW / BEACH HOUSE

read my fortune too, tell me what you see cross it like a t it's all the same to me this game i play, i do it every day i promise I'll be fine, bear it every time

V. SATELLITE MIND / METRIC

i’m not suicidal i just can't get out of bed i drift into a deep fog lost where i forgot to hold it i can feel you most when i'm alone i can feel your ghost when i'm alone

VI. PEDESTRIAN AT BEST / COURTNEY BARNETT

my internal monologue is saturated analog it's scratched and drifting, i've become attached to the idea it's all a shifting dream, bittersweet philosophy i've got no idea how I even got here i'm resentful, I'm having an existential time crisis want bliss, daylight savings won't fix this mess under-worked and over-sexed, i must express my disinterest the rats are back inside my head, what would freud have said?

VII. BORN TO LOSE / SLEIGH BELLS

took a shot to the head in the back near the crib such a legend now, you were born to lose ‘cause i know that the pain keeps you close to the flame you know everything, you were born to lose

VIII. STICKS AND STONES / THE PIERCES

sticks and stones will break your bones and leave you lying in the mud but you get scared when we're alone, like i might suck your blood and i could tell you a witch's spell but it just might blow your top and you start to run just as I'm having fun and it's awfully hard to stop, it's awfully hard to stop

IX. BLACK OUT DAYS / PHANTOGRAM   

speak in tongues i don't even recognize your face mirror on the wall tell me all the ways to stay away

X. THE OUTSIDER / MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS

i look myself in the face and whisper "i'm in the wrong place" is there more to lose than gain if i go on my own again? (on my own again)

XI. SPELLBOUND / SIOUXSIE AND THE BANSHEES

following the footsteps of a rag doll dance we are entranced spellbound

XII. ARTIFICIAL NOCTURNE / METRIC

i’m just as fucked up as they say i can't fake the daytime i found an entrance to escape into the dark got false lights for the sun it's an artificial nocturne an outsider's escape for a broken heart

XIII. AUTOCLAVE / THE MOUNTAIN GOATS

i am this great, unstable mass of blood and foam and no emotion that's worth having could call my heart its home my heart's an autoclave my heart's an autoclave

XIV. BAD DREAMS / PHANTOGRAM

bad things never neglect me i'm just a scene in a movie bad thoughts never arrest me i'm just a flash in a memory

XV. BEAT (HEALTH, LIFE, AND FIRE) / THAO & THE GET DOWN STAY DOWN

and oh my gunpowder and with emergency i must battle without her she is surely killing me

XVI. EVERY TEAR DISAPPEARS / ST. VINCENT

oh, the more that i struggle i'm deeper in the pit if i can show a hand then i can show a fist call the twenty-first century, tell her “give us a break”

XVII. FIREWORKS / MITSKI

one morning this sadness will fossilize and i will forget how to cry i'll keep going to work and you won't see a change save, perhaps, a slight gray in my eye

XVIII. UNICORN TOLERANCE / THE MOUNTAIN GOATS

and when the clouds do clear away get a momentary chance to see the thing i've been trying to beat to death the soft creature that i used to be the better animal i used to be

XIX. GROW UP AND BLOW AWAY / METRIC

if this is the life why does it feel so good to die today? blue to gray grow up and blow away

XX. NUMB / MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS

i feel numb most of the time lower i get, the higher i'll climb and i will wonder why i got dark only to shine looking for the golden life oh, it's a reasonable sacrifice

XXI. AMERICAN DREAM / EMILY HAINES & THE SOFT SKELETON

grab your clothes and head to the doorway if you dance out, no one complains find the place where you can be boring where you won't need to explain that you're sick in the head, and you wish you were dead or at least instead of sleeping here you prefer your own bed, come on you just suck at self-preservation versus someone else's pain

XXII. WEAR BLACK / THE MOUNTAIN GOATS

wear black when it's light outside wear black when there's no light wear black following the left hand path wear black but i get right

XXIII. SPAT OUT SPIT / LADY LAMB

was i born wild? have i been asleep this whole damn time, dreaming up a life? will i awake to find that I'm deep in the woods? and i'm snarling on all fours

XXIV. MEDULLA OBLONGATA / BUKE & GASE

since i left you with these broken fingers broken tongue broken ears from not listening false hopes and happiness in the barrel of my god

XXV. PARIS IS BURNING / ST. VINCENT

they say, “i’m on your side when nobody is, 'cause nobody is come sit right here and sleep while i slip poison in your ear”

XXVI. IN THE CRATERS ON THE MOON / THE MOUNTAIN GOATS

if the strain proves too much give up right away if the light hurts your eyes stay in your room all day

XXVII. GETAWAY / MOTHER MOTHER

we gotta get away from it all we gotta get away from everything we've grown to know we gotta get gone like on a holiday, but for longer away from all the silly things that haunt us

XXVIII. YOUR FACE LEFT BEFORE YOU / BUKE & GASE

breaking down my brick wall brain nothing worse than everything to gain too bad it's not my turn you've got witches to burn

XXIX. FUNERAL PYRE / PHANTOGRAM

my funeral pyre my ship of fire as it sinks, i rise all i see is your eyes

XXX. HOLLY / SLEIGH BELLS

wasted all day killing all the capulets!

XXXI. GUILTY / MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS

oh i’m a guilty one, and know what i have done yeah, i'm a troubled one, and i won't be forgiven

XXXII. KILLER / PHOEBE BRIDGERS

can the killer in me tame the fire in you? is there nothing left to do for us? i am sick of the chase, but i'm hungry for blood and there's nothing i can do

XXXIII. TIPTOE / THE ANTLERS

[instrumental]

XXXIV. GOODBYE, MY DANISH SWEETHEART / MITSKI

now i lay as i study a blank wall would you spare me your voice if i call? ‘cause you waited and watered my heart till it grew you just grew a little smarter too

XXXV. HERMIT THE FROG / MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS

yeah i feel i’m watered down whenever he's around i put on the crown of clowns and melt slowly to the ground

XXXVI. LAST WORDS OF A SHOOTING STAR / MITSKI

you wouldn't leave till we loved in the morning you'd learned from movies how love ought to be and you'd say you love me and look in my eyes but i know through mine you were looking in yours

XXXVII. 9TH PAWN / OHO

i'm the 9th pawn of the chessboard take it apart, take it along, dark and light squares i'm the thirteenth labor of Hercules give it a try or give it up give it up to me

XXXVIII. HUMPTY / MITSKI

i'll live in the bathtub surrounded by tiles all so square and so steady i will die in their cool, cool arms

XXXIX. I FIRE MYSELF / MARY TIMONY

a demon lured me to his bed where i fell into a poison sleep i dreamed of a river of ants inside me and they were sad and started to bleed

XL. THE POINT OF IT ALL / AMANDA PALMER

“but no one can stare at the wall as good as you, my baby-doll and you're aces for coming along you're almost human, after all and you're learning that just 'cause they call themselves friends doesn't mean they'll call...” they made the comment in jest but you've got the needle i guess that's the point of it all

XLI. SQUARE / MITSKI

your room was square i once noticed from there in your bed, as you slept and i held my breath everything had its own place and i wondered; what space would i take, in the order you kept?

XLII. SAVIOR / ST VINCENT

adore you to the grave and farther honey, i can't be your martyr maybe it's just human nature but honey, i can't be your savior

XLIII. VALLEY OF THE DOLLS / MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS

in the valley of the dolls, we sleep got a hole inside of me living with identities that do not belong to me in my life, i got this far now i’m ready for the last hoorah dying like a shooting star in the valley

XLIV. STATUETTE / EMILY HAINES & THE SOFT SKELETON

with a feather in your cap another jewel in your crown another notch in your belt you’re the captain at the helm the statuette on your shelf says you’re better than me better than me

XLV. HAVE TO EXPLODE / THE MOUNTAIN GOATS

the stage is set, someone's going to do something someone else will regret i speak in smoke signals and you answer in code the fuse will have to run out sometime something here will eventually have to explode, have to explode

XLVI. THE BOX SONG / AMANDA PALMER

and you were sure that you could keep it all off in a tower where there’d always be space and you were sure that if you read it all you would eventually come across your own name

XLVII. I DON’T SMOKE / MITSKI

if you need to be mean, be mean to me i can take it and put it inside of me if your hands need to break more than trinkets in your room you can lean on my arm as you break my heart

XLVIII. ICICLES / THE SCARY JOKES

but as for me, i can only be forgiven if im givin myself up to you on a silver serving tray must i bare myself to the stabbing of your knife and gnashing teeth, while our lovely company appears so entertained? ah yes, good etiquette demands i remain soft and accessible in the face of my own ending so i will try to be discreet; through my full-blown implosion, i’ll stay golden and retreat into my sweetest fantasy 

XLIX. CODES AND KEYS / DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE

when you scream, “love you, see”,   like a child throwing stones at the sky when they fall back to earth as minor chords of major works separate rooms of single life we are one we are alive

L. WASHING MACHINE HEART / MITSKI

baby, though i've closed my eyes i know who you pretend i am i know who you pretend i am

LI. THE KILLING TYPE / AMANDA PALMER

i couldn't kill to get you back and i've officially been asked i couldn't kill to save a life i'd rather a die a peaceful piece of shit-bait shame-filled coward, thanks

LII. HAVE IT OUT / MOTHER MOTHER

i have it out, i have it out, with myself, with myself, i have it out it's gonna get ugly it's gonna get messy it's gonna be world war iii of myself

LIII. CATABOLIC SEED / THE SCARY JOKES

oh i made a silly mistake (what'd you do?) i've given up more than i can take (uh oh!) and left hollows in my wake my structure's compromised but you still batter at all my fault lines i can't run, i can't hide, but you can't say i didn't try

LIV. DOPPELGANGER / THE ANTLERS

and now's he howling, but i'm muted by the horror how he's everywhere and waiting now he's just around the corner

LV. LEFT ALONE / FIONA APPLE

and now i'm hard, too hard to know i don't cry when i'm sad anymore, no no tears calcify in my tummy, fears coincide with the tow how can i ask anyone to love me when all i do is beg to be left alone?

LVI. HEEL TURN 2 / THE MOUNTAIN GOATS

spend too much of my life now trying to play fair throw my better self overboard shoot at him when he comes up for air come unhinged get revenge i don't want to die in here i don't want to die in here

LVII. NOT ABOUT LOVE / FIONA APPLE

conversation once colored by esteem became dialogue as a diagram of a play for blood took a vacation, my palate got clean now i could taste your agenda while you're spitting your cud

LVIII. SEVENTEEN / MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS

oh, you were embarrassed of me 'cause i used my tongue freely bet you wish i couldn't speak 'cause when i do, you know i tell you why you appear weak

LIX. YOUR WOMAN / WHITE TOWN

now i know your heart, i know your mind, you don't even know you're being unkind, so much for all your high brow marxist ways, just use me up and then you walk away boy, you can't play me that way

LX. DEADBODY / MIYA FOLICK

i need you to know i'm not powerless my strength lies within my gentleness and i'm already hurt so now i don't have to hide and i hold all the heads of my brothers and my sisters high

LXI. YOUR DOG / SOCCER MOMMY

i'm not a prop for you to use when you're lonely or confused i want a love that lets me breathe i've been choking on your leash

LXII. RIPE / SCREAMING FEMALES

i built this game to play and to pretend you are a dark machine and i'm a cog when engines crack, when fuel lines break off i'll save your bits and let your motor rot

LXIII. WINDOW / FIONA APPLE

i was staring out the window the whole time he was talking to me it was a filthy pane of glass i couldn't get a clear view and as he went on and on it wasn't the outside world i could see just the filthy pane that i was looking through

LXIV. BLUE TRASH MATTRESS FIRE / SLEIGH BELLS

i'll do it, i'll jump not for kicks, not for fun but because this shit is too much it's fucking me up enough is enough, enough is enough!

LXV. BITE THE HAND / BOYGENIUS

who do you think you are? who do you think i am? what do you wanna say? what do you think will change? maybe i'm afraid of you maybe i'm afraid of you

LXVI. VENGEANCE / HOT SUGAR

[instrumental]

LXVII. EYES ON FIRE / BLUE FOUNDATION

i'm taking it slow feeding my flame shuffling the cards of your game and just in time, in the right place suddenly i will play my ace

LXVIII. NO CHILDREN / THE MOUNTAIN GOATS

and i hope when you think of me years down the line you can't find one good thing to say and i'd hope that if i found the strength to walk out you'd stay the hell out of my way

LXIX. FUCK WAS I / JENNY OWEN YOUNGS

love grows in me like a tumor parasite bent on devouring its host i’m developing my sense of humor till i can laugh at my heart between your teeth till i can laugh at my face beneath your feet

LXX. SERPENTS / SHARON VAN ETTEN

serpents in my mind, i am searching for your crimes everything changes in time you'll stay frozen in time collaging girls, controlling minds you hold the mirror well to everybody else

LXXI. IF YOU FEEL BETTER / EMILY AUTUMN

if you feel better telling me i'm cruel saying i'm unfeeling i don't mind if it's necessary, if it helps you out crying that i'm heartless it's alright

LXXII. THE GOOD THAT WON’T COME OUT / RILO KILEY

i do this thing where i think i'm real sick but i won't go to the doctor to find out about it 'cause they make you stand real still in a real small place as they chartup your insides and put them on display they'd see all of it, all of me, all of it

LXXIII. THE BODY IS A BLADE / JAPANESE BREAKFAST

try your best to slowly withdraw from the darkest impulses of your heart try your best to feel and receive your body is blade that cuts a path from day to day

LXXIV. GET LONELY / THE MOUNTAIN GOATS

and i will go downtown, stand in the shadows of the buildings and button up my coat, trying to stay strong, spirit willing and i will come back home, maybe call some friends maybe paint some pictures it all depends and i will get lonely, and gasp for air and look up at the high windows, and see your face up there

LXXV. MOTION SICKNESS / PHOEBE BRIDGERS

i hate you for what you did and i miss you like a little kid i faked it every time but that's alright i can hardly feel anything i hardly feel anything at all

LXXVI. EMPTY / METRIC

sickness was fixing me some coughed out my heart in the last stall now that the damage is done i never miss it at all

LXXVII. TINDER / ORIGAMIBRO

[instrumental]

LXXVIII. REMEMBER MY NAME / MITSKI

'cause i need somebody to remember my name after all that i can do for them is done i need someone to remember me

LXXIX. THE EXECUTION OF ALL THINGS / RILO KILEY

soldiers come quickly, i feel the earth beneath my feet i'm feeling badly, but it's not an attempt at decency and if you're well off, well then i'm happy some for you but i'd rather not celebrate my defeat and humiliation here with you

LXXX. THE THUNDER ANSWERED BACK / Ó

i screamed out, “how'd it get this bad?” and the thunder answered back “if you know not what you lack then you must unturn your back your inside is overcast and you are tethered to your past and it must feel like fucking hell to be a patchwork of yourself a bunch of scraps thrown and sewn around your bones and though you're alone it's holding you too tightly but who are you? from where do you come? what do you believe in? and whom do you love?"

LXXXI. DIE HAPPY / METRIC

this city is thick with common thieves still passing around the same disease who's running this town and why are we? still drinking that kool-aid like it's free

LXXXII. ALL MY PRIDE / BLACK HONEY

all my scars will heal in time now he's gone with all my pride everybody's saying what i need to do but i haven't got a thing to prove, prove to you

LXXXIII. HEADS WILL ROLL / YEAH YEAH YEAHS

glitter on the west streets silver over everything the rivers all wet you're all chrome

LXXXIV. ART OF DOUBT / METRIC

you said "don't let your heart give out" no, i won't let my heart give out you said "don't let your breath run out" no, i won't let my breath run out

LXXXV. BLACK EYE/BURNT THUMB / METRONOMY

[instrumental]

LXXXVI. KLAPP KLAPP / LITTLE DRAGON

somebody from my heart sang i could turn off and never wake up and everything's clear, my breath made like-steam fake feel better fallin' apart, apart, apart, apart, apart

LXXXVII. VANISHING ACT / THE MOUNTAIN GOATS

[instrumental]

LXXXVIII. AUBERGINE / LADY LAMB

i was unborn when i was younger i was unborn when i was younger but i was rebuilt when you spoke i awoke when you spoke

LXXXIX. PSYCHIC READER / BAD BAD HATS

when i look at you, i get a good vibration stay on the line until i hit your station i was meant for you so i can be patient, yeah

XC. BETS AGAINST THE VOID / THE SCARY JOKES

the sun is just a copper coin i flip in bets against the void imitating choice 'til i feel good again, i'll keep them in a tin can then i'll have copper coins to spare

XCI. GIRL / THE INTERNET

passion burning, causing rapture of laughter pressure building, falling faster and faster if i told you that you rock my world, i want you around me would you let me call you my girl? (my girlfriend, my girlfriend) i can give you the life you deserve, just say the word and i got you, baby i got you

XCII. BUZZCUT SEASON / LORDE

i remember when your head caught flame it kissed your scalp and caressed your brain well you laughed, baby it's okay it's buzz cut season anyway

XCIII. GEYSER / MITSKI

you're my number one you're the one i want and i've turned down every hand that has beckoned me to come

XCIV. A KISS / THE BLOW

those dances that I did, they really weren't all that fun to do i only did them 'cause they were the only ones i knew they called me player, i just played who i thought i should be i'd still be her if you hadn't come and interrupted me from the kiss

XCV. CRANE YOUR NECK / LADY LAMB

and i placed my palm upon your collarbone and i wished to fall asleep deep in your marrow as gently as a mouse curled up in a ball as gently as a mouse until tomorrow

XCVI. DANCE YRSELF CLEAN (COVER) / MS MR

walking up to me expecting walking up to me expecting words, it happens all the time present company accepted present company, except the worst it happens every night

XCVII. SOFT SOUNDS FROM ANOTHER PLANET / JAPANESE BREAKFAST

in search of a soft sound from another planet in search of a quiet place to lay this to rest striving for goodness while the cruel men win there's no part of me left that can feel or hear it

XCVIII. A BETTER SON/DAUGHTER / RILO KILEY

and sometimes when you're on, you're really fucking on and your friends, they sing along and they love you but the lows are so extreme that the good seems fucking cheap and it teases you for weeks in its absence but you'll fight and you'll make it through, you'll fake it if you have to and you'll show up for work with a smile and you'll be better and you'll be smarter and more grown up and a better daughter or son, and a real good friend

XCIX. TRAUMA / HOT SUGAR

[instrumental]

C. WOKE UP NEW / THE MOUNTAIN GOATS

the first time i made coffee for just myself, i made too much of it but i drank it all, just 'cause you hate it when i let things go to waste and i wandered through the house like a little boy, lost at the mall and an astronaut could've seen the hunger in my eyes from space

[phan-of-the-pen]

I Dare You To Stay: Chapter 15

After like 6 months I’m back! Sorry about the wait you guys, but I put out three PBB fics in that period, wrote two new chapters for this fic, and balanced my own crazy life. Thank you for your patience, updates will resume normally! Enjoy!

Tags for chapter: fluff, vvv minor angst

Words for chapter: ~2.7

Fic Summary: Dan Howell is a barista working a shitty job, frequenting his shitty apartment, and living a shitty existence, hiding his asexuality and going for a PHD in self-depreciation and depression. Phil Lester is a part-time intern, part-time employee at a local weather station, trying to get experience in his field and make a name for himself, while juggling a second job at the nearby Tesco’s to give him some financial breathing room. Their paths were never supposed to meet, but what happens when they do anyways, one rainy day in Manchester?

(ao3!)

<– Previous chapter Next chapter -->

~~~~~~~~~~

Dan stepped through the front doors into the lobby. It was small and had basic furniture that looked as if it had come from the same dull color scheme, but Dan didn't really mind. He wouldn't be here very long.

A tired secretary looked up at him as he entered, but when Dan settled in one of the seats in front of the television, she looked back down at her paperwork, a frown still on her face.

Dan looked up at the TV and smiled wide. It was on the same channel that the weather station aired, and on it Phil was grinning and relaying the temperatures for the day and how the sun for once would be shining for most of the afternoon.

Dan sat and watched the whole time Phil was on, a goofy smile on his face. When the angle switched to the news anchors, Dan's attention drifted to his phone, where he scrolled through twitter for a little. Now that Phil wasn't on the live broadcast he'd be in a separate room, recording a few different takes of a handful of different weather broadcasts that the station could air later in the day, depending on which of their predictions were correct. And since Phil was here as an employee and not an intern today, as soon as he was done, they could leave.

They'd been dating for a few weeks at this point, and with Dan's workaholic schedule and Phil's two jobs, most time between them had been lunch breaks and an impromptu sleepover, or a few hours together of kissing and movies and video games before reality once again rained on their parade. Today however, Dan was off due to the shop being closed so it could get some of its appliances replaced, and Phil had his whole day off as well minus his morning broadcast. They were planning on spending it together and to shop and wander around Manchester as it rapidly neared the holiday season.

Dan thought that a day just for the two of them was long overdue.

A few people came and went while Dan was sitting there, and he eventually stopped looking up so hopefully since every time he only got a stranger returning his excitement with a look of bewilderment at Dan's gaze. And besides, had he gotten a little caught up in scrolling through the various threads? Maybe. Had he gotten comfortable in his seat and popped his earbuds in? Possibly. Did Phil ever give him a ball-park time as to when he would be done? No. So he really had no business materializing out of nowhere and hooking a finger under Dan's chin, tilting his head up and kissing him in greeting. Dan's legs just went jelly even though he wasn't standing, and his thoughts flatlined.

"Uh," Dan said eloquently when Phil pulled back. Phil laughed and helped Dan up.

"Hello to you too. I'm all done by the way—are you ready to get out of here? I distinctly remember planning a whole day together with my boyfriend."

Dan managed something between a breathy "yeah" and "of course" and let Phil grab his hand, leading him outside dumbly, still overwhelmed with how easily this cliche bastard could knock all of the breath out of his lungs. He simultaneously hoped that he would eventually get used to it—becoming a stuttering mess was highly inconvenient at times—and also never wanted that feeling of devotion to go away.

The sun was surprisingly warm for early December, and the sky was clearer than Dan had seen it in an awfully long time. Topped with all of the Christmas decorations around and nestled into Phil's side, their hands threaded, Dan really couldn't imagine a better way of spending his day off.

Their first stop was Starbucks—a Dan and Phil tradition. They'd gone to a Starbucks for their first "date" on one of Dan's lunch breaks, and ever since, they'd hit it a half a dozen times together in the several weeks of their relationship.

Phil ordered while Dan snagged them a table in the corner. He returned however, with a horrendous amount of foam on his coffee and a simple protest of "it's flavored leave me alone." Phil then proceeded to take a huge sip, leaving a hefty foam mustache on his upper lip. Dan laughed hysterically and couldn't help but snap a picture of Phil's adorable pout, sending it to Jaime after saving it to his phone. He was surprised when his phone beeped almost right away. She was down in London today working on the play, and it was too early for her to be on her lunch break already.

>> From: my maraschino cherry look at you two and ur coffee dates ur sickening

also

how much foam did he ask for that man is living in a world w/o god

>> To: my maraschino cherry too much. the answer is too much

"Is that Jaime? You two aren't conspiring against me again, are you?"

Dan snorted and took a sip of his own coffee (with a normal amount of foam, thank you very much).

"If you count conspiring as us dragging you for the sheer amount of foam on that coffee, then yes, absolutely."

"Hey! Unlike you, I refuse to be subjected to society's standards as to what is acceptable with coffee. Besides, what do you know? My coffee is fantastic."

"Some lines just shouldn't be crossed, mate, and a gallon of foam is one of them. And you're forgetting—I literally make coffee for a living. I think I have the right to judge." Dan said, rolling his eyes in the fondest way possible. Phil grumbled as if he was annoyed, but Dan could tell that he didn't really mean it.

Dan leaned back against the chair and watched Phil as he used the front camera on his phone to make sure he wiped away all of the foam from the top of his lip. Was that creepy? Maybe. But Dan just couldn't keep his eyes off of Phil, as cliche as it was. Phil was just Phil—Dan couldn't ignore him if he tried.

"What, did I miss some of it?" Phil asked, already pulling his phone back out of his pocket. Dan grabbed his hand to stop the movement.

"No, you spork, you didn't." Dan said softly.

Phil's face brightened and a sly smile spread across his face. "So," he drawled, "whatcha looking at then?"

Dan let his thumb flitter over the tops of Phil's knuckles before answering.

"A dork."

"Hey!"

Dan cackled as Phil crossed his arms and pouted. He started whining about how Dan was being a "terrible boyfriend" and "first the foam now this," and he was being so ridiculous that Dan only laughed harder. Phil just kept going though, and Dan tried to shush him in between giggles, but to no avail.

What an absolute fucking nerd, Dan thought as he gave up trying to stop Phil with words and instead pulled him forward into a kiss. Dan was still trying to control his laughter so he wasn't even really kissing properly and pretty much just smiling against Phil's mouth, but it worked perfectly. Phil shut up instantly and kissed back. His arm snaked around Dan's waist loosely, but it still sent a tingle up Dan's spine anyways.

Dan pulled back a little, his cheeks aching from laughing. "Hey."

"No no, come back here." Phil dragged Dan right back to his side, and this time the kiss was a proper one. When Phil let go of him Dan knew his cheeks were dusted pink, and in his own opinion the blush probably matched the warm feeling in his chest.

Phil hummed, smiling softly down at Dan. "Cute."

Dan rolled his eyes, but they both knew that didn't mean anything.

After they finished their coffees, they wandered out into the city. Earlier in the week they had planned out all of the stores they had wanted to visit, but things ended up taking longer than expected because they couldn't stop themselves from walking into every building that had something that caught their eye. With all of the extra stops, the shopping trip had to be split in half by lunch. Dan didn't mind though. A nice lunch in a little corner cafe with Phil was a pleasant and welcomed surprise.

Dan found his Christmas present for Jaime, and nearly bought one for Phil as well. The only thing that stopped Dan from buying the galaxy jumper was the fact that it was about twice as much as Dan's already small and strained budget.

It was nearing the evening when they stepped through the threshold of Phil's apartment. The day had been incredibly fun, and Dan didn't even mind that he was tired from all of the walking that they had done, or that the tip of his nose was near froze from the cold air.

Dan dropped the bags in his hands down onto the floor next to Phil's. He reached back up for the zipper on his coat, but Phil's hands batted it out of the way. Surprised, Dan raised an eyebrow at Phil, but it went unaddressed by the older man. Phil slipped the coat from Dan's shoulders and hung it up.

"Why don't you go pick out a movie, Dan? I'm in a bit of a mood for popcorn and snuggling under a blanket."

He retreated back to the lounge, the faint blush on his cheeks from Phil taking his coat off for him dissipating. It had been domestic and Dan enjoyed being taken care of, shoot him.

Dan settled on a bit of a classic and popped it into the DVD player. Behind him he could hear Phil starting the microwave, and even though they had ate not that long ago, Dan's stomach grumbled at the smell of the butter. Dan pulled one of the many blankets Phil had off of the back of the couch and wrapped it around him. He left half of it off to the side for Phil.

"You can start it! I'll be right in."

The opening credits of The Shawshank Redemption had finished playing by the time Phil surfaced, but it was with a large bowl of popcorn and accompanying sweets, which made up for lost cuddle time in Dan's mind.

A few moments later Phil was settled under the blanket, pressed next to Dan. The snacks were in a pile on their laps, and they frequently snuck a hand out from under the blanket to munch on them.

The movie was one of Dan's favorites, and he decided that watching it with Phil's body curled around his, tucked away in their little corner of the world, made it even better.

Phil had also never seen the movie before, and Dan had brought his own copy of it over ages ago with the intention of watching it. Unfortunately, they had never gotten the chance to until now, but it was hardly an issue. Dan enjoyed Phil's gasps of surprise, and his frantic panic towards the end of the movie when things were hitting the climax. When the screen faded to the end credits, Phil's jaw was dropped, shock on his face.

"I'll take it you enjoyed it?" Dan asked, a smiling. Phil stared at the television for another moment before snapping to attention.

"Like it? Dan, that was one of the coolest movies I've ever seen. And it's based off of a book, you said? God, I need to read it, oh my gosh." Phil continued rambling about his favorite parts, and he talked about his thought process through the movie. "I swear I thought Andy was guilty! But then he got some proof that he wasn’t, and they shot the guy!"

"Yep. Really makes you think, huh?"

Phil laughed.

"Yeah, it does."

Dan smiled, happy that Phil had enjoyed something that Dan loved. He pecked Phil's lips with his own before mustering the willpower to scoot out of their little blanket cocoon.

"Can you take it out of the DVD player? I'll take care of our scraps."

Phil was still smiling softly at him, and the look was making Dan's insides feel all warm and gooey. Not that long ago that would have terrified him, but now it just made Dan's grin go wider.

He quickly washed the bowl to get the butter off of the sides and put it back in Phil's cabinet. Before he left he shut the rest of Phil's cabinet doors, rolling his eyes. Phil could look at a bunch of nonsense numbers and measurements and predict the weather, but the man couldn't bother himself to close a cabinet door.

Dan walked back into the lounge, ready to tease Phil about it, but stopped when he found him standing next to the couch, reading something on his phone. His eyebrows were crinkled and the corners of his mouth were turned down in something between a frown and a grimace. The expression caused the joke on Dan's lips to wither, and for a moment Dan just stood there, watching Phil. He didn't seem to know that Dan was back in the room.

"Is everything alright?"

Phil jumped at Dan's voice shattering the silence, and slipped his phone back into his pocket. The small smile plastered on Phil's face was fake, and Dan could tell that Phil was trying to figure out what to say.

"Yeah, it's just an email from work."

"Tesco emailed you?"

"No, the weatherstation."

"Oh." Dan didn't know if he should keep pushing, but when he thought about the frown on Phil's face just a little bit ago and how his shoulders were curled in anxiety, Dan's resolution hardened. He knew first hand what something negative could do if it was allowed to fester, and he didn't want that to happen to Phil. "Was it something bad?"

"No, not really." Phil said, his fingers sliding into his pockets. Dan couldn't help but frown at that. Phil stuck his hands in his pockets when he was uncomfortable. Was Dan making him feel like that? "My schedule just got changed up a bit. I'm going to have to ring Tesco to have them adjust my shifts so none of them overlap."

Dan nodded, but there was no doubt in his mind that Phil wasn't telling the truth. Another glance at Phil's hands in his pockets held back Dan's tongue, however. He didn't want to make Phil uncomfortable or anxious.

Dan decided to drop the subject, but he didn't let his suspicions fall.

"Did you want to call them now? I can step back into the kitchen if you want?"

"No!" Phil said, his arms flinching like he wanted to move them, but decided not to at the last minute. "It's fine, I promise. I'll call them in the morning—I don't think anybody would pick up, anyways. Come on, it's my turn to pick a movie."

Phil gave Dan one last strained smile before turning all of his attention to the shelf of movies he owned. Dan was still frowning, worried about what had really been on Phil's phone, and even more worried about Phil, but he didn't say anything. Dan didn't think that Phil really looked at the selection and more-or-less just popped a random disc into the DVD player. After pressing play, Phil caught Dan's wrists and pulled him to the sofa. They settled back under the blanket, but this time Phil was holding Dan against his chest, his arms wrapped around Dan to keep him close. He pressed a soft kiss to Dan's temple.

"Relax, everything's fine, I promise."

It didn't do much to ease Dan's thoughts, but he did relax his body, as well as tuck his worried thoughts away to deal with later. For now, he just wanted to enjoy this time with Phil.

[julianthebeautifulunicorn]

ID a digital drawing of many assorted objects all overlapping each other and each in a different color. end ID

apparently i can only draw out of spite now. this one is aimed at my art teacher because she hated it when i sketched like this, all overlapped and stuff, but it was fun and i never have to see her again hopefully so i can do what i want.

a sketch collection of cool stuff on and around my desk I drew while waiting for the thunder and lightning to stop. including, but not limited to (because there’s so much here, I can’t even tell anymore):

two drawings of one of my cats because he was asleep on my desk and laptop and at one point he attacked my hand, so i just kinda held his hand when he fell back asleep for like 20 minutes and it was really cute

a plastic margarita cup that I’m taking to college with me and I have three other matching ones

a tiny brick I keep sticky notes under such as the one with minecraft coordinates on it so i don’t get too lost

a World’s Best Cat Mom mug my sister sent me that’s really paint splattered and full of pens i didnt feel like drawing

the hilt of a bitchin letter opener that looks like a sabre but its misproportioned so it works as a letter opener but it actually bothers me a lot 

a very small pink knife i bought online while getting some pants and found on the website by accident

one of a few small bells that I have already used two to make earrings one time at 11 pm because i got bored

a bottle of liquid glue i keep on my desk so i know when my cats are up there because they always knock it off

a small pink toy car that i kept in the pocket of my denim jacket for almost a year

a collection of blue glass pebble things i bought for a craft last year but only used one of them so now I just have this bag if pebbles, but the bag broke, so now i just have a lot of loose blue pebbles just kinda dispersed throughout my room

a small shovel that is actually a spoon that i Did spend too much money on but it was totally worth it

a cool button that originally i had on a book i made, but removed it 

two of those keycard holder things that attach to your belt because in middle school we had to keep our ids on us and i broke the holder by running into stuff all the time so i collected a lot of the holders

a plastic broom handle cap from the time i stole all the broom handles (and Only the handles, which i still just kinda have all of them) from the auditorium, backstage, and the prop closet at my school 

two fencing medals that i still have hanging up because fencing was a bigger part of my life than i like to admit

a foam bar tap, the first prop i ever made and keep displayed with playbills and cast/crew photos, one of which im not even in because i got a concussion cause a deer head fell on me on the first day if tech week and i was only allowed to leave the house on the day of the last performance, which wasnt even a regularly scheduled show, so im very glad i got to see some part of it and when i was at the show i made friends with someone because we were both wearing khakis

 a clock i have on my desk because I moved the one that used to be there and is actually the only clock on my desk which is surprising considering the state of the rest of my room (covered in clocks)

a bottle of bright yellow nail polish that i made a beeline for once i saw it in a store so i could have a whole rainbow of nail polish

a plastic cup with a built in straw that i will also be taking to college because they look like the ones i used when i was a kid, but these specific ones i bought for my brother when he went to college because of the above reason 

a single red 2x2 lego brick that i honestly dont know how it got in here

a small wooden box I keep quarters in that i want to paint but havent and probably wont

a small blue carabiner i took from my friends lunchbox a few years ago and is one of the three things I have stolen that I have actually kept (I keep track of them because I almost always give everything back and feel very guilty for these outliers, but i’ll probably never see those people again, so rip i guess) (the other two things are a black wooden pencil i took from a friend in 9th grade gym class and a blue and orange mechanical pencil i took from the same person as the carabiner) oh, i have two other things, i guess, but one i just kept taking and eventually i was allowed to keep it and the other is nearly identical and was given willingly to continue to joke i think and/or out of habit

…i may have actually gotten it all (plus a bunch of other stuff)

this is what happens when im tired and have internet access. i overshare. this is all youll ever need to know about me.

btw this is me substituting bringing someone into my room and telling them the stories behind all my tchotchkes because i Love to talk and tell stories but physically talking is hard