#one day maybe I’ll write something that compiles all my favorite Types

[dykeonysus]

I’m so sorry Tumblrinas but I love the just-coded-enough-to-show-up-if-you-squint type gay characters in like mid 20th century Hollywood movies. I’m a slut for innuendo and slight of hand. YES I know so much of it is based in homophobia but there’s also something that reads as “here I am, I know you’re out there too, I hope you catch this” that I just lose my mind.

[ladynightlark]

Hello! Me again! I have a question writing wise.

I was wondering how you try to always keep your characters...well, in character lol. Or rather, how do you keep their personalities the same or nearly the same as in canon. For me, when writing For This is All for My Sunshine, I'm always going to the show or Manga to try and study their characters, but I can't help but feel they still come out as OOC.

So, I'm wondering how you combat this problem?

Hi! Glad to hear from you again!

So, this is an interesting question because I think it’s definitely (in my opinion) one of the biggest challenges that come from writing role-swaps. And it makes sense, as one of the major indicators I think most readers rely on when deciding whether to follow a story is how well certain characters (especially Nezuko) who may not get a lot of development/screen time in canon are portrayed.

After all, Nezuko is her own person, and writing her to be a carbon copy of canon Tanjiro wouldn’t do her character complete justice.

This is definitely something I still struggle with (to the point that sometimes, it’s part of the reason I get so behind on updates lol), but like you mentioned in your questions, one of the first things I do is go to the manga and anime and do some research there. Just read/watch the character I’m studying, see how they interact in certain situations, and just overall see what are the biggest take-aways from their characters altogether.

But something else I do during my “researching” period is read other role-swap and character-focused fics for the characters I want to write for. I like to see how they view the character, and then based on that, I like to add my own headcanons and see what fits best.

I also like to look into tumblrs and authors that like to do posts and fics going into the character. There’s a lot of great demon slayer writers out there, and sometimes they like to post about their thoughts and how they came to them. Or share their favorite headcanons.

Same with TikTok and YouTube, there are definitely some creators that have such an in-depth look into some characters and provide a lot of insight into who they are and what they’re meant to represent in the KNY universe.

Another good source of info on lesser known characters are the handbooks and light novels. They have lots of little details about certain characters that may not have made their way into the manga/anime, especially on stuff about their past and even behaviors growing up. 

I highly recommend checking out the Wiki as well from time to time, as you’ll often find a lot of these details compiled there, along with some information on character personality and fighting styles. 

Finally, I like to focus on one or two major themes/ideas that the character is supposed to have. I may go to the manga or anime and look for supposed important moments/lines they have in the story, and write those down. So it’s something I can reference.

If I find myself particularly stuck, I’ll open up a document and just spend maybe 30 minutes or so just doing research and recording notes about the character there. So when I’m back to writing, I can have that doc open on the side and consult what I have.

Ultimately, it’s up to you to do your take on the character. I don’t think there’s any wrong way to go about portraying Nezuko and other characters, as long as they have something about them that makes them distinctly them.

You’re doing a great job with your fic, so don’t overthink how you write them! And nothing says you can’t go back and revise your work later on if you decide to change something about the character you’re writing.

I hope this helps! Feel free to send in more asks and whatnot about writing help if you or anyone reading this found these types of posts helpful!

Good luck with your story, and have an awesome day!

[mollybangtheband]

RIP Keith Kozel

(I’m very late in writing this but just couldn’t type up something short, so it took me some time to gather my thoughts. This is very very long, but I have a lot to say - these are stories I’ve told to many others over the years when speaking about music, but never compiled into one place until now - my apologies for the verbosity, but this is for Keith.)

I only spoke with Keith a few times in person, just small talk, and via social media off and on over the years, but his impact on me was much bigger than all of that, as all these stories will prove.

I’ve seen Bowie, Iggy, the Rolling Stones, REM, Flaming Lips, Frank Black and the Catholics and a lot of other legends, etc. etc. - and I’ve never really been into buying most “stuff” in general, but I’ve spent a good amount on seeing shows, all across the country. I’ve seen hundreds and hundreds of bands… but to this day… seeing Keith’s band Superhorse was one of my all-time favorite live performances. Not an exaggeration, not a sympathy vote. I’ve been saying this long before Kieth died.

I’ll admit, I’m not really qualified to do much, but I feel qualified enough to tell you Keith was a rock star. I’m telling you, as far as front men went, besides maybe James Brown or Michael Jackson, or one of those greats that are amazing dancers, Keith could compete with the best of them.

I love the small, old, dirty, intimate venues, where it’s packed and smelly, but magical because of some band and or performer. Those are usually the best in my opinion, and Superhorse playing at the Velvet Elvis is the perfect example of that for me.

Though influenced by hundreds of bands, when I started playing in a band myself I took the most influence from bands like The Dirtbombs, The Velvet Underground, Pavement, The Kinks, The Pixies… and also Superhorse.

Superhorse was chosen for these reasons: Great live show and great instantly catchy relatable tunes.

Maybe other fans won’t agree with me, but seeing Keith in Superhorse felt like seeing Iggy Pop covering Lynyrd Skynyrd songs. The live shows were less southern rock sounding, but the recordings to me, as I could hear Keith’s voice more clearly, sounded a lot like Skynyrd.

(I grew up in small towns in Georgia and I’ve always loved Skynyrd, but by the time I graduated high school I needed a break from them. They were often the soundtrack for obnoxious rednecks in the 80’s and 90’s but by the time I was finishing college and hearing Keith making these southern rock inspired songs I was ready to start listening to Skynyrd again.)

I regret not going to more Superhorse shows, recording more of their shows and taking more pictures etc. I can envision an alternate timeline where I just stayed in Savannah and was a roadie/super fan for band, and I could see myself being quite happy doing that. I always assumed they would go on to have a large discography, numerous music videos etc. It felt like I was watching a band on the brink of making it big.

But to back up a little before I was blown away by seeing Keith perform the first time: Keith worked at a pizza place I used to hangout at called Vinnie Van Go-Go’s. I must’ve seen him there but just didn’t know who he was yet… Being a poor college student Vinnie’s was the cheapest place to go to get decent tasting food (pizza!). I was usually too poor to even purchase anything, but I’d go with friends and eat their crust (always bummed when the friend wanted to eat their crust / my dinner).

But my favorite part was the music they played at Vinnie’s. They had a tape player with dozens (if not many more) cassettes that they’d play. I would frequently check out the collection and mixes and ask what album was playing. I was always making lists of songs and bands and albums to check out. I found out much later that a lot of these were Keith’s cassettes. Even before knowing the man he was already inspiring and influencing me.

Towards my last year or two at school, I finally was able to see this band Superhorse that I’d heard about so often (I kept really busy at school so I had to plan events like this weeks in advance). The show blew me away. Keith even looked like rock star, he looked like he could fit in easily in a British Invasion band or some other group from the 60’s. I had just recently seen The Rolling Stones before this and although they are probably a top five band for me and great live, there was more magic in this show at a small venue in Savannah.

In art schools you’ll always see a bunch of talented artists (Keith had long been out of school by that point btw) but there are a couple of dozen that really truly impressed me. He was one of those people. So he was always on my mind, like how do I become friends with this guy and learn from him?

Also at this time I was in a band called Cho Young and the Davenports. It was a very art -school band that was interesting and creative and weird and fun, but lacking in talent. As musicians we were not great at all. We could fake it and play simple songs but that’s it. We had three super fans and we did open mics and got a lot of compliments and slowly other performers started asking us to play with them, but we were mainly just notorious if anything.

One time one of our band leaders received a mysterious message (which I feel included a gift with it, but I could be wrong, I feel like there was a knock on the door and then someone left the letter and ran off, I don’t recall exactly though). The message had enough clues that after a while we thought we had an idea of some people that could’ve written it. The main part of the letter though was a request for us to write a song about Acorn Squash (maybe that was the gift - and we did write a song and recorded it for our next album, we also performed it as well - The Biggest Baddest Acorn Squash…)… It was a pretty bad song but fun.

At some point we learned that Keith wrote the mysterious letter. By this point I had seen his band Superhorse and knew of him but didn’t know his name. I did know that he was an amazing performer that blew my mind and was as cool as they come (at least on stage, I can’t speak for him otherwise). I remember I asked someone in the band what the guys name was that wrote the letter. The person responded “Keith Kozel” as if I should know the name. The person that said the name wasn’t a fan or hadn’t seen Keith perform but he knew Keith was a local celebrity.

I said “Who is that?” I then found out he was from Superhorse. Kozel - he even had a cool last name. When I found out that one of my idols was not just a fan, but a big fan of my band, I got chills. I was shocked.

Soon afterwards I was chatting with a group of other art students about music and I said “Have y’all seen Keith Kozel’s band? They’re amazing.” Then another guy says “Which one?” I said “Superhorse of course, wait he’s in another band?” The guy responded, “yeah, he’s in GAM. They’re one of my favorite bands.” Other folks chimed in agreeing with the statement.

Of course he would be in two awesome bands (never saw GAM but have seen pictures and videos and listened to the music, the live shows were supposed to be amazing and I’m very sad I missed it).

After this I was able to see Superhorse again and I brought my video camera and recorded it. It’s a great live show that I need to put online sometime. I put it on VHS and frequently would give people a copy. This was early 2000’s and most already were playing DVD’s instead of VHS. As time passed almost no one had VHS, so I had no one to give it to anymore. I would watch the video a lot like it was a famous live show, like it was the Allman Brothers at Fillmore East or something.

Soon after that I had a buddy put the audio from the video camera on CD. I’m pretty sure it was about 80 minutes (or close to that I think). About 20ish songs I would guess. 16 originals and four covers I also made copies of this CD and passed them out for a few years until almost no one listened to CD’s anymore). I didn’t know the song titles, I just guessed, and maybe half the time I got them right (found out once they recorded an album a few years later). I only knew there were four cover songs because he said it at the show. I knew Good Loving was one but I had no idea who wrote it. This live CD one of my favorite albums (and I recorded it!?)…

After this my band (CYaTD) was recording an overly ambitious limited edition (20 copies probably haha) box set before we all left college. We had a surprisingly large amount of recordings. I remember one of the times I went to record one of my parts one of my bandmates was playing some new recordings I hadn’t heard yet. Some folks that weren’t in the band were even recording their own versions of some of our songs. Remember this is before the popularity of streaming music and Spotify so for people to know our songs they had to have a copy of the CD. We made a hundred copies or less and people were actually covering our songs.

My bandmate played a recording of a song and then the vocals came in. Now I can’t describe the feeling, I felt but I’ve never felt this way in my entire life and it kind of short circuited my brain. I was hearing a song, that I helped write, but by a vocalist that to me was a celebrity. It was Keith. Now remember I had been listening to that live Superhorse album so Keith’s voice was very familiar to me. I got chills. It was so flattering to me. It was the best compliment I could ever ask for.

I soon left Savanah and spent almost all of my free time listening to music. I wanted to be an audiophile at the same level as someone like Keith (it took a while but I eventually got there). On the their live album that I recorded there were the four cover songs as mentioned before. During that first year after my last time seeing them I was always curious what the covers were. The internet was around of course but there was no Shazam and most songs (unless really popular) didn’t always have lyrics online.

I think he announces one or two of the covers in the recording but not all four. And the way I found out what they were was interesting to me. I was already a huge Velvet Underground fan and I knew Lou Reed’s album Transformer, but little else of his solo work. I was also a huge fan of the Stones. I knew their hits and their albums before Exile but for some reason only heard Exile once many years prior and couldn’t understand why people loved it so much. I also loved punk but only knew the Ramones and the Sex Pistols and a few other songs. I also love James Brown but only knew the hits. My goal then was to explore these bands (and others) to learn their entire discography.

While listening to a lot of punk I found Sonic Reducer by the Dead Boys, realizing this was one of the four Superhorse covers I heard. One of my all-time favorite songs to this day.

While listening to more obscure soul I found Good Loving by James Brown, another Superhorse cover and one of my favorite songs.

While listening to more Lou Reed I heard Straw Man. I recognized it from Keith singing it and although it’s one of my favorite songs I know that I would’ve never gotten into without hearing Keith’s version. I’m still not a fan of that Lou Reed album and probably would’ve never listened to it again after the first couple of times otherwise. I think a successful cover helps you learn to fully appreciate a song that you otherwise couldn’t, and Superhorse did that with this song…

Then I went out and got Exile on Main Street by The Rolling Stones. I had over the years listened to a few songs from it but it just didn’t click with me yet for some reason. But I was a huge Stones fan and regardless this was near the top of countless lists of essential albums, so I was determined to put in the time to figure it out. My CD player at the time was a small alarm clock with shitty speakers. I put in the CD.

Then Mick sings the opening verse:

“I hear you talking

When I'm on the street

Your mouth don't move

But I can hear you speak”

I’m embarrassed to say that I was 25 years old before I learned this was a Stones song and not a Superhorse song. I know it sounds like I’m obsessing over these covers but I’m talking about them because thanks to Keith and Superhorse, I fell in love with these songs and have derived a lot of joy from listening to them over and over throughout the years. In fact I’ve listened to them very recently.

When I mentioned why I love Superhorse there was one other reason: the songs they covered. A James Brown tune, a Lou Reed tune, a Dead Boys tune and a Rolling Stones tune.

Soul, Punk and more…? I was once again impressed, and long after having seen them live…

(There are very few bands that are great about covers in my opinion, and about choosing mostly obscure ones even by popular performers, which I love (that’s always huge bonus points for me). On my list of bands best at this, I’d probably choose the Dirtbombs, the second being The Detroit Cobras, (and others like Frank Black Francis in his various forms, maybe REM if you listen to the Fan Club Singles, and a few others bands I like) but Superhorse is on that list for me, even with a much smaller output than the other bands.)

Another note I’d like to add is once I was talking about Superhorse - all the way out here in Portland on the opposite end of the country of Savannah Georgia, and a bandmate of mine had seen and met Superhorse near New York. They concurred. “Oh yeah, they’re amazing…”

Something else that is funny to me is during the live recording of theirs that I have he mentions the band members and I remember especially how he said “uh Mister Kevin Rose” and “Bob HOLmen” ( Jim Reed” as well). During COVID times their FB profiles came up in my feed since we both have Keith as a mutual friend (this is two decades after seeing them live). Maybe these rock stars will be my Facebook friend I thought (no response from Holmen, and apologies to the other bandmates, the way Keith said your name was less memorable I guess, ha, and I don’t remember them…). So Jim and Kevin, if you read this far, that is why I requested to be your friend. I have no idea if you’re awesome or awful. We shall see…

Before I finish I want to say that that live Superhorse album, although maybe not sonically up to snuff for some or all remaining Superhorse members, is in my opinion the defining recording of this amazing band. It’s a noisy lofi recording but to me it captures much more than the official albums of Superhorse. There is a rawness to the band and a special something that isn’t on the albums. I think they are good but not the same.

I don’t mean to disparage the album because I do like it and listen to it but I think a sad and yet great thing about Superhorse is that you had to be there to truly experience it. The video and recordings are all great but without being there and someone just sending you a link to a recording, you won’t get it. For those that saw it and know, you know. And as a fan that makes shows exciting and magical! “We must go!” That all being said, I think my recording is the closest I’ve found to getting back to that magic of standing in a packed bar elated as hell having the time of my life.

My dying wish is an official release of this live album (which I hope I can find my copy in storage :/)…

Over the years I tried to always not just support but listen to all Keith’s music, at least of what I could find. When Keith passed I revisited some of his songs. I had heard his song Darkened Highways before, but it sounded like a cover to me and always thought it was.

But apparently it’s not?

That’s how great Keith is. Not just a great performer but a great songwriter as well. I fully believe that in the right time and place and knowing the right people, Keith could’ve been a household name…

“Let the seasons change, let the world rearrange…” - Keith Kozel

[arkannis]

Hello,

I just recently got into the Old Republic Fandom, and the Eternal Empire is my favorite arc. I do wish there was more story content to give more development to the characters, particularly in Arcann's case. While I love his romance scenes, I wish there were more scenes about his redemption and relationship with the Outlander or a dark side ending where the Outlander or Arcann takes the throne with the other as a consort. I found your blog while trying to find content further developing his character. Thank you so much for posting all your headcanons and musings!

With that being said, what are your headcanons for Zakuul culture? And could you post a masterpost compilation of your Arcann headcanons? I am trying to find the post where the romance novels headcanon originated in the tags and not having much luck.

Hope you have a nice day!

Hi anon!! Sorry for a late reply. First I’ll answer the second part of your message. The romance holonovels headcanon originated from the this post ; the post doesn’t outright say it, but some people in the tags (when they reblogged it) mentioned that Arcann probably seemed like the type to read romance in his free time. As of what I can remember the tags were from this reblog and this other reblog and both say that Arcann reads romance holonovels. The continuation of this headcanon were in replies or tags, so it’s hard to track them all down! Secondly, my Arcann tag is a mess, and I probably threw in multiple headcanons in reblogs or tags so it would be hard to find them all... I’ll think about making a masterpost, but I don’t think I have time for something like that right now. Ok, now that’s over with... I 100% agree with you, anon! I HAVE so many things to say about the possibility about that dark side ending. I don’t think devs were planning to make Arcann a possible romance option in the beginning, so it wouldn’t have been possible to be his LI and rule as emperor/empress. I also agree with the development of the characters... however, Arcann’s redemption and relationship with the Outlander was definitely rushed, because the plans to make a third expansion was apparently cancelled due to the backlash from fans who wanted pub vs. imp back. I made a whole post complaining about that... Otherwise, I definitely think they would have had more time to flesh out his characters and the other Zakuulan characters as well (Vaylin, Senya, Koth, etc.). I’m like pretty much sure content was cut out from KOTFE/KOTET to make them shorter. Due to such lost content, I have to create my headcanons from extrapolation based on the Sacrifice trailer, available codex entries, existing dialogue, and implications of existing issues. As well as other people’s hcs and commentary!! WARNING: SUPER LONG BULLET POINTS for Zakuulan culture headcanons.

The reason why I don’t have that many Zakuulan culture headcanons is because.... I feel like it’s so weirdly explored in the expansions.

I think the arts is a big thing in Zakuul! The Dragon’s Maw chapter gave me that kind of vibe. I also discussed this mildly (not) with Arcann. Most specifically THEATRE, PERFORMANCE AND SINGING. 

Evidence: Senya sings and composes and there’s the famous Zakuulan holoperformer, Malita Tal. No, I don’t have evidence for theatre, but honestly? Zakuulans are so goddamn dramatic, they most definitely have reality TV series or drama series... 

arcann be like oh you listen to malita tal? name all of her albums in alphabetical order or you get exiled

Zakuulan culture most definitely has idol culture, based on Malita Tal (and reportedly her performances were watched by millions). And those fans apparently also protested against Arcann’s rule. personally i think if they had twitter the u.s. gov*rnment would be wiped out.

I just think singing is a big thing in Zakuulan culture. I mean, even Valkorion sings (if you decide to kill Senya, his force ghost appears. They both have an exchange and it’s actually sweet for like 0.1 second). 

I also think there would be typical Zakuulan fairytales embedded in the culture. Hear me out. Most specifically those type of royal fairytales with the princes and princesses. This can be heavily contributed to the fact that a royal family is essentially in power. 

You cannot expect me to believe not a single person in Zakuul has written a Prince Arcann x reader holofic. You just can’t. Or Prince Thexan. Actually, I think Thexan would be more common, I think he was perceived to be more compassionate and kind compared to Arcann by the common folk? Since I know there’s that NPC dialogue where one of them goes how different it would be if Thexan took the throne instead. 

The fairytales would probably involve a lot of references to the Old Gods. I kinda imagine that the enemy would be some sort of serpent, that is, Zildrog, because apparently he’s just a bedtime story to scare children away. 

I think these Zakuulan fairy tales would contribute to the theatre and performance, acting culture that Zakuul has. 

Furthermore, I just think the Tirall kids probably read these fairytales as well. francis dont talk about arcann reading again

I want to talk about the Old Gods and that religion, which is one of my favorite things ever... probably because the Gods are machines. Superweapon machines... ok ill shut up

Even if Valkorion basically got rid of the religion, it’s clear that the religion is still incorporated into heavy talk in Zakuulan culture (e.g. eyes of Esne, heart of Scyva). 

My headcanon is that there are sanctuaries or small secret churches (?) for those who want to worship the Old Gods. Obviously the Herald of Zildrogs who believe in the Old Way are a cult, so I think people would look for an alternative. 

I think there would be great effort to hide these places, as it can get you exiled. Thus these would probably be located in the Old World, rather than in a more obvious position like the Spire. 

The beliefs of the Old Ways isn’t exactly clear, they aren’t exactly touched upon, which is a shame. I think people would ask for help from each of these gods depending on what they want.

Those who ask for Izax’ guidance want to seek success, accomplishments, power, and glory.

Those who ask for Scyva’s guidance ask for her to guide souls peacefully to death (she is described as someone who weeps beside Zakuulans as they march towards Izax - basically death) , or ask for help/compassion from her. Maybe maternity as well? Or parental love?

Those who ask for Aivela (goddess of passion) want her to guide them with her passion (Aivela accompanies Tyth, who is kind of a god of war/warrior). I think there would also be romance related stuff as well. If someone asked for help regarding their love related issues, it would probably be from Aivela!

I’m not sure about Esne - but maybe in a similar sense, if someone is suffering with jealousy - in any situation, they would ask guidance from her. I don’t know where I read this but I think the “eyes of Esne” expression meant like having eyes of jealousy.

Nahut? I don’t think he was worshipped.  “Nahut was considered to be gray, formless and cold, and was denied worship by all except his mother Scyva.” But regardless, I think he still had a role to play. 

After the Outlander takes the throne, and Zakuul renounces their membership from the Eternal Alliance, I think people would be allowed to openly express their religious beliefs, that is, the Old Ways. Oh, personally I headcanon that they would build beautiful places of worship in the Spire with similar geometrical pyramid designs...!! 

Yeah...I think that’s all I got! I’ll need to see how I can somehow make this post easily found, lol. This is quite a long list, and I have to emphasize that these are my headcanons! They are based on what I see and I just kind of fill in the gaps to fit my own stories. This took a while to write because I KNEW I had these headcanons, but they just didn’t appear at the time I saw this anon ask. Anyways, I’ll probably create more headcanons in the future. Also:

a dark side ending where the Outlander or Arcann takes the throne with the other as a consort

I have so many things to say about this. I know the game won’t permit it, because if you think about it, both the light side choice (Eternal Alliance) and the dark side choice (Eternal Empire) are happy endings for your characters anyways. They can continue as the “hero” or the “protagonist”, so I don’t think this route could ever be implemented. However, I think it would be absolutely interesting if throughout the gameplay, players are given a choice to flirt with Arcann. The Outlander and Arcann agree to get rid of Valkorion, but thats if the Outlander decides to betray the Alliance and joins Arcann instead. And should they join him, they have the choice to romance him... and I guess it’s a happy ending for you both :P Obviously this won’t happen, but maybe it will. I wouldn’t mind being the prince consort of Arcann lol idk! me and vaylin are gonna be besties and we’ll paint each others nails or something Oh and have a nice day too anon...!!

[dere-boys]

Pre-Written Dialogue Prompts

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1. “I have a lot going for me, but humility is not one of them.”

2. “Is that seriously your password?

3. “I’m surprised you haven’t been arrested yet. Wait, no, I’m not.”

4. “So, you broke my favorite mug… and you’re breaking up with me?"

5. “Oh, good, you’re here! Hold this."

6. “Dude. We talked about this. Boundaries!"

7. “Now, don’t be mad, but…"

8. “Well, thanks to you, that’s another Taco Bell that’s banned us for life."

9. “So you know, I haven’t had my coffee yet. And your voice is putting me to sleep."

10. “Please tell me you didn’t eat that."

11. “What on earth happened in here?”

12. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

13. “No. Hell, no. Absolutely not.”

14. “Do you maybe think, in retrospect, that this was a terrible idea?”

15. “So hang on, let me get this straight.”

16. “I need nothing but my mad skills, rugged good looks, and maybe half a million dollars.”

17. “I made breakfast, but I didn’t know what you liked so I made enough to probably feed a small tribe.”

18. "So you've been living in denial all these years?"

19. “So that could have gone better…”

20. “Look, I’m not saying I’ll help if you buy me a donut, but I’m not, not saying I won’t help.”

21. “You don’t know what this means to me. You’re my first human subject, and we… are going to make history!”

22. “The worst part is you didn’t even notice.”

23. “I was doing so well until you showed up. Things were good…”

24. “At first, I thought it was part of the act.”

25. “Honey, please tell me. Did he hit you?”

26. “I don’t like that look. Wipe it off your face before I decide to.”

27. “How could you do this to me?”

28. “I know you don’t have any reason to trust me, but… you need to know something.”

29. “You’re allowed to need help sometimes. And I know I haven’t been what you needed. But I’m here, and I wanna help.”

30. “You’re the worst. And you’re all I’ve got.”

31. “If I wanted to get better, I wouldn’t be dating you.”

32. “You think I don’t know you’re only here because he sent you?”

33. “No, I don’t hate you. We’re not there, yet.”

34. “It’s not that I don’t like my life. It’s that I don’t have the energy to enjoy it.”

35. “If you’re here to tell me what happened last night, someone beat you to it.”

36. “Do you know what today is?”

37. “You are remarkably well-behaved tonight. What have you been up to?”

38. “How – how did you find me?”

39. “There’s blood everywhere.”

40. “I don’t even hate you. That would imply I cared.”

41. “There’s no point running.”

42. “Stop yelling!”

43. “Believe me, my dear, no one regrets this more than I do.”

44. “I’m going to give you five seconds to take that back.”

45. “Apologise. Right now.”

46. “Good. I meant it to hurt.”

47. "Do you think keeping your eyes shut will keep you safe?"

48. "If you can't wake up from the nightmare, maybe you're not asleep."

49. “Smartass. I’d suggest biting your tongue before I rip it out.”

50. “Your mine. This- is mine, so don’t you dare think of someone else.”

51. “Is this how you flirt with everyone?”

52. “Waiiiiit, did you… do something different with your hair?”

53. “I’m not good with sarcasm. If you don’t like me, just say it.”

54. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but you don’t exactly blend in.”

55. “Now, before I say anything, promise me you’ll stay calm.”

56. “I don’t need a gentleman right now.”

57. “You’ve caught me at a really bad time.”

58. “What have you done now?”

59. “Well, this is new.”

60. “How are you feeling today? A little better, hmm?”

61. “Oh man, I’ve had the worst day ever.”

62. “This isn’t what it looks like, I swear! Okay … it’s kind of what it looks like, but just give me a chance to explain."

63. “That’s the first time I’ve heard anyone call it that.”

64. “Oh my gosh, are you sure? Like, sure sure?”

65. “I’ve never actually liked chocolate.”

66. “That’s a very … bold … thing to say.”

67. “And you can’t think of any other reason?”

68 .“Hey. Look at me.”

69. “I’m sorry. That sounds awful.”

70. “That’s not very nice.”

71. “Just sit around and cry, then. I don’t have that luxury.”

72. "How much of that did you hear?”

73. For what it’s worth, I don’t know much about you either.”

74. “Why do you have to look at me like that? It’s making me weak, please stop."

75. “I’m so lucky.”

76. “I’m asking because I’ve seen the way you look at me.”

77. “Stop doing that with your face, someone else is going to snatch you up.”

78. “I shouldn’t be allowed to be this happy.”

79. “Don’t pretend that you don’t feel the same way.”

80. “Don’t act innocent, you had me pinned underneath you 5 minutes ago.”

- Hope to see you here! - ❄️ & 🌻

Inbox Request Navigation and Welcome

[sujusoo]

How They Confess Their Love - Super Junior Reaction

anon requested Leeteuk fluff and suggested him confessing to the reader. I decided to write it for every member! 

And to be clear, I wrote this as confessing their love, not that they’re confessing like “hey I wanna date you”. That’s a different reaction lol, i hope that makes sense. Since this is long, it’s below the cut, but it’s not smutty. 

Leeteuk 

Leeteuk strikes me as the type to be kind of shy about it saying it. He loves you a lot, and he wants you to know it, but he doesn’t exactly want to say it. He knows you love him back, but he can’t help but worry. So he says it at night when you’re sound asleep, or in the morning before you wake up. He says it when you’ve shut the door after a date, or when you’re distracted on the phone. Leeteuk wishes he could say it, and it upsets him that he can’t. But one night, when he’s just can’t sleep, he turns to confess again to your sleeping form and sees the moonlight reflect on your eyes. When you put your hand on his cheek, and ask what’s troubling him, he can’t hold it back any longer.

“I’m in love with you. Truly, deeply in love with you. I can’t imagine not waking up next to you. I want to raise dogs with you, and maybe even a kid with you too. You’re my everything. And I know you know it, but I needed to say it.” 

Heechul

I think Heechul has a lot more depth to him then most people think. He kids around a lot, but he has real, deep feelings for you. Heechul would throw the word love around a lot, and the phrase “I love you.” On your first date, when you order the drink he was going to order, he’d say it. He’d say it when he notices you wearing his favorite color, or when you laugh at his joke that wasn’t even funny. But Heechul can’t help but wonder what you think. Do you realize that he really loves you? So he’d just say it out of the blue one day.

“I know I say “I love you” a lot, even when we first met. I just want to make sure you know I mean, and I mean it even more each time I say it. I love everything about you, and I’m not afraid to say it. I love you.”

Yesung

Yesung would be both a romantic about it, but he’d also make it casual. He’s always taking photos of the two of you, and a ton of just you. He’d also have some song lyrics written about you. After dating for some time, Yesung would make a scrapbook, compiling the photos with lyrics from his songs. When he gave it to you, there wouldn’t be any special occasion. He’d be over at your house one afternoon, drinking coffee with you, and he’d pull it out of the bag. 

“This is for you.” He’d flip through the pages, telling you why he chose each picture. “I never noticed that mole on your cheek until I took this picture. It’s one of my favorite things about you. I love looking at it.” Yesung would run his finger over some of the lyrics, explaining just how you inspired it. Looking over this book with you by his side would make him emotional, and he’d shed a few tears (and so would you!).

Shindong

I really think Shindong’s love language is actions. He, kind of like Yesung, would show you his love for you often. He’ll film videos of you doing mundane tasks like cooking or folding laundry. He’s pretty smart, and you’re pretty smart, too. So Shindong knows you expect something to come out of all those videos. But not yet. When Shindong confesses his love, he just wants to be honest. He respects you, and doesn’t want gimmicks or cheesy actions to interfere with his message. Although it’s a little out of his comfort zone, he decides to tell you, face to face, heart to hear.

“It’s kind of awkward for me to say this, just over dinner like this. I feel very much out of my comfort zone, but I’ve gotten more comfortable getting out of my comfort zone because of you. You’ve helped me do things I never thought I could do. And I love you for it, so, so much.”

Eunhyuk

Eunhyuk is another member who has a playful personality, but can be serious when the time calls for it. He also seems like the cautious type, one to try and take a relationship slow. Eunhyuk would just want to enjoy his time with you and let things progress naturally. He’d let you know how much he cares in a short but sweet way. I also think he’d rather show you his love, if you know what I mean. You’d be telling him about something good you did, something you’re proud of, and he’d just smile at you and take your hand. 

“I’m really proud of you. Seeing you so happy makes me happy. I love you.”

Donghae

You know Donghae loves you. He's a super emotional and kind man who is honest about his feelings. I see him as the type to date people he had been friends with at first, and gotten to know really well before he confesses that he wants to be more than just friends.

"You're one of my closest friends, and I love that you've supported me in that way. But I love you more than just a friend. I want to wake up next to you in the morning and know I'll fall asleep next to you at night. I want to be your best friend and your boyfriend."

Siwon

Siwon strikes me as one of the more traditional, romantic members. He wants to treat you right, like a gentleman should. Siwon would plan for a good time to say it, maybe a birthday celebration for just the two of you. For weeks in advance, he would be planning out what he was going to say and how the dinner would go. Siwon did his best to hide it from you, but at the night of, when he realized you had already figured it out, he fell in love with you even more.

“I had a big speech planned, which obviously you figured. I thought I did a better job at hiding it, but I guess you know me well enough by now. It’s kind of the perfect thing to happen, though, because it makes me love you even more. Because you know me, and you want to know me, and you love me for who I am.”

Ryeowook

Ryeowook seems like the kind of member to constantly be gushing over you, although not around/to you. His members have gotten used to his rambling about how attractive and kind and perfect you are. They tune it out by now. His parents love hearing all about you, though, and he’ll sit on the phone with them for a while and just talk about you. One day, he’s telling his mom how much he loves you when you show up from work early, and he doesn’t hear you enter the next room. This boy is loud, so when Ryeowook finally sees you, he knows you heard everything. 

“So, you heard all that...Well, I hope you know it’s true. You mean a lot to me, and I want you to stay in my life for as long as possible. I love everything about you. I talk to my parents about you a lot because I want them to love you as much as I love you.”

Kyuhyun

I think Kyuhyun would prefer to write out his feelings to you. This way, he can explain everything and make sure it’s correct and interpreted correctly. He would be the type to put a lot of work into it, writing multiple drafts before he finally was satisfied. Kyuhyun would keep the letter in his wallet, waiting until it was a good time to give it to you. When he knew you had been having a rough day, and you two weren’t able to see each other, he would leave it for you on your counter.

“In this letter contains my heart, my deepest feelings for you. As I write this, I don’t have a specific idea in mind of when I’ll give it to you, just at the time that feels right. I want you to know how I feel about you, how much I care about you, how much love I have for you.”

[passionate-hedgehog]

Break Even

AN: The was initially supposed to be an Ian x Reader fic but WHOOPS. This fic took me the longest to write out of any one-shots I’ve ever written. If you like this (or any of my other fics) you can leave a request. They’re always open!

Pairings: (fem)Reader x Courtney, OC x Ian

Word count: 4513

Warnings: Some fucks were given. 

m.list

Y/n crouched behind the half wall with her partner in crime. Their targets were visible as they talked at the magazine counter. Y/n was trying to listen in on the distant conversation as the woman next to her kept burping. 

“Sorry, Y/n.” The other woman said. 

Y/n just waved off the apology. Her mission was still in motion and she wasn’t about to give it up anytime soon. She could see her goal coming to fruition shortly...she could almost touch it. 

“It’s getting late, Y/n. I have to be up super early and so does Ian. Besides, didn’t you say that your sister had a flight in the morning?” 

Y/n sighed. “Yeah, you’re right Courtney. Let me text Emma and pull her away without Ian seeing either of us.”

The woman took out her phone from her denim jacket pocket and began typing out a message to strategically extract her sister from the situation they were in. In the middle of her typing, she felt a hand on her arm.

“Is...is that my jacket?” Courtney forced Y/n to face her fully. “The one I misplaced a year ago and you claimed you had no idea where it went?”

Y/n didn’t look at her as she kept her phone out in an effort to seem too distracted to care. “No. Why would I still have any of your things? What’s the point of holding on to a broken-”

“Hey. Any reason why you asked me to stop talking to that super cute guy over there?” Y/n’s sister asked as she walked up to the other two girls. “We were having a wonderful conversation.”

Y/n began to pull her sister away by the arm. “You have a flight to catch in the morning. Let’s get back to my apartment to make sure you’re all packed and ready to go, yeah?”

Courtney watched them go with a disappointed expression.

Y/n listened to her sister talk on the phone to the people at the airline while she sat at the table with her cereal and orange juice. Apparently, Emma had been moved to a different flight without asking to be and the people on the other end of the phone were not helping matters.

“But that’s just it, I didn’t call to reschedule my original flight. I wanted to double-check my departure time and when I looked it up, it said that my flight had been rescheduled per my request. But I didn’t reschedule it!! Why would I reschedule my flight?! I have to go back to work.” She paused. “No, I need to get put back on the flight I was originally scheduled for. It’s the one I paid for. I didn’t ask to be moved. That’s not on me. I have a job to go to!”

The younger sister stayed silent as she watched her sister try to fix the problem she found herself in. It wouldn’t be an awful thing if Emma stayed an extra day or two, Y/n felt. It could be nice having someone else in the apartment. It got too quiet sometimes.

Y/n looked up when she noticed her sister took a seat across from her own. “So, what’s the verdict?”

The older sister put her head in her hands. “Can I stay an extra day or two? They’re refunding me but I can’t get on a flight for another few days. I truly hope my boss will give me the benefit of the doubt. I don’t know how I ended up in this situation, but here I am. Stuck in L.A.”

“Hey, don’t worry about it. We can do more things now that you’re gonna be here for a few more days. I feel like I don’t get to see you enough as it is. I miss my big sister.” The girl gave a pout.

“Aw, I miss you too. It’s weird not having you back home. Like, I fully realize that you’re a grown-ass adult but you’re still my baby sister. Just...not as annoying as you used to be. What, with all of your meddlings and getting into my things.” Emma smirked and Y/n laughed.

“Speaking of meddling, why don’t you come to work with me today? Check out what I do and stuff?” Y/n got up to put her dishes in the sink and started her tea kettle.

“How soon are you headed out?”

Y/n looked at her stovetop clock before responding. “Eh. In less than an hour.”

Emma stood up and walked towards the guest room she had been using during her stay. “Guess I better get ready so I can go see what my little sister does for a living. And then judge it harshly.”

The two had been in Y/n’s office for a couple of hours when Emma asked why it seemed so quiet.

“The cast is on location to film a sketch. They probably won't be back until later, if they come back at all. I work on unscripted content, so I’m not typically on the location shoots.” Y/n was typing something on her laptop as she replied.

“Didn’t you say you had a meeting in a few minutes?”

“Oh, frick! Oh my God.” The PA quicklu looked through her things and grabbed her needed materials. “It shouldn’t last for too long. I’ll order us lunch as soon as possible. There are some funny compilation videos that fans made that I’ve been watching already loaded up on my desktop if you want to see more of the people I work with.”

Y/n ran out of her office and across the building to the conference room. As she approached the room, she noted that the meeting hadn’t started yet and there were still a few people missing. She walked in and took a seat next to Matt Raub. Y/n discovered that the closer she sat to him, the less he called on her for things. He was on his laptop, probably going over the notes for the meeting. She took out her materials and got ready for what would hopefully be a short conference. 

“Hey, Y/n.” Ian greeted as he walked into the room. “The front desk said you have a visitor today?”

The woman looked up from her notes from the previous meeting. “Yeah. My sister was supposed to fly back home today but something happened to her flight details and she's staying with me for a few more days. I hope it’s okay that she’s here. I’m not working on any shoots today so I thought she could visit and see what I do.”

“Yeah, that’s completely fine. We’re getting lunch after this. You should bring her with. Let us know more about you. And hey, if she’s cute…” The president of Smosh let his sentence drift off as he opened his laptop.

“Who’s cute?” Matt Raub looked up from his laptop as he finally joined in the conversation while the rest of the unscripted team filled in the room.

                “Nothing, no one.” Y/n quickly replied as she waited for someone to officially start the meeting.

When the meeting finally ended, Ian reminded everyone that lunch was being brought into the break room and it was up for grabs. Y/n exited the room and made her way back to her office intending to convince Emma to eat anywhere that wasn’t there. What she didn’t expect to see was Courtney sitting in one of her chairs, chatting with Y/n’s older sister.

“It was really good to see you yesterday. I wish we would have had more time to hang out.” Emma finished once she noticed Y/n standing in the doorway.

The woman appeared to ignore the actress sitting in her personal space. “Hey, Emma, let’s go out and grab some lunch. I’m craving tacos.”

“I thought you guys were having lunch in the breakroom? I know Ian had ordered stuff.” Courtney mentioned but shrunk in her seat once she felt the heat coming from Y/n’s glare. 

“Yes, thank you, Courtney. I had completely forgotten that. That is also an option. It’s up to you, Emma. Go out or stay in?”

Unsure about what was going on in the room, Emma replied with “I know you’re busy today. I don’t mind staying in so you can get more stuff done. Besides, it’s free, right? What’s better than that?”

“Literally anything, but you’re right. I should be responsible.” Y/n rubbed her forehead, she could feel a headache brewing. “Let’s head to the break room. You can meet my co-workers and work your magic. Maybe you can network and find yourself a new job here instead of back home? Be with your favorite little sister more often…”

Emma laughed as she stood up and the two left the room, having completely ignored Courtney. “You’re the one that was so desperate to leave home, Little Sister. I’m perfectly content with where I am. Maybe you should network yourself back home?”

Y/n stopped them before they entered the break room and gave her sister a deadpan expression. “You got jokes, I’ll give you that. My bosses are in here but they know you’re here. They sound like they genuinely want to meet you. Don’t embarrass me. I beg of you.”

The two walked in and were greeted by the sight of the unscripted production team socializing with each other. There was a mixture of people around laptops, which were probably being used by those that were trying to work through lunch. Except for Ian’s laptop though, of course. He, Matt Raub, and Monica seemed to be laughing at something on the screen. It worked out in Y/n’s favor, though, because she didn’t want to go through what Courtney went through. While yes, Ian would never take a joke too far with anyone on purpose, she wasn’t about to give him the chance to even try. She grabbed her sister’s hand and pulled her to the table that held the food. She signaled for Emma to fill her plate and they picked an unoccupied section of the room to sit and eat at.

Y/n was quietly digging into her food when one of the writers came up and asked for her opinion on something. After making Emma promise that she wouldn’t do something...older-sister-like (wander off and tell embarrassing stories about Y/n’s youth), she joined the writer at his laptop and helped him out. A few moments later and Y/n caught Ian and Emma in a conversation that had them giggling. She wasn’t quite sure how to feel about the sight. It made her feel...weird? She wasn’t sure if she liked it or not.

“I don’t know who that is that Ian’s talking to, but it’s nice to see? Isn’t it?” The writer asked while also watching the two from across the room.

Y/n looked at him with an eyebrow cocked. “That’s my older sister. He’s going to make it weird.”

He nodded in understanding. “Like with Courtney’s sister. I get it. But you have to admit, Y/n, they both look decently happy.” 

“Yeah…” The woman muttered. “Frick.”

Y/n invited Emma back to the office the next day. The older sister almost declined, she needed a little bit more excitement in her day. Not that she minded a chill day every once in a while, but she didn’t want to do nothing again.

“No, today is going to be completely different. We have to film some things. Plus. you were requested to join a SMOSHcast recording if you want to. No pressure. It might be something fun to do? I don’t know why I said that as a question. It’ll for sure be fun. I've been on a few.” Y/n was pouring her tea into a SMOSH thermos to begin her day.

Emma sat at the kitchen table, half-eaten toast with peanut butter plated in front of her, thinking it over. “Hmm...on one condition.”

The producer cast a skeptical eye. “What?”

“You can’t get mad at me when I talk to Courtney.” Emma continued even though her sister had dramatically groaned. “She was a big part of your life. We’ve always been able to get along. I know that the two of you didn’t have the best ending in your relationship, and I’ll always support you. But Courtney and I have always been able to talk easily. It’s a little hard to turn a complete one-eighty. I haven’t seen either of you in person since before you guys broke up. It’s got to catch up with me. Please, just...give me a minute to get my feet on the ground. I’m not like you. You’re so much more fierce with how you handle the people around you. You love hard and if someone ruins that love, you nip them in the bud as soon as you can. I’m not like that.”

Y/n leaned against the kitchen counter as she crossed her arms and nodded, pondering what Emma was saying. “Yeah. I guess that’s why I like you so much. You’re more forgiving than I am to those that hurt those around me.”

Emma took a deep breath at her sister's words. “I’m sorry.”

“No!” Y/n quickly walked over to her sister and threw her arms around her shoulders. “Don’t be! I wasn’t saying that like ‘Oh, Emma never has my back.’ I meant it like, in a general sense. Like you know when to give someone more chances, but you don’t give too many. You know when to forgive and move on. You know how to separate past heartbreaks from the rest of your life, even if you work with them.”

“You can’t avoid her forever, Y/n. It’s like you said, you work with her. The two of you need to have a mature adult discussion and put it all behind you. I don’t think she realizes how much you’re still hurting over this.” 

Y/n released Emma and moved back over to the counter to grab her morning beverage. “You’re right. I know you’re right. But first, I gotta leave before I’m late. I should have been in the car already. If you’re going to come with me, be in the car in ten.”

The two women walked onto the SMOSHcast set, not late enough to where they were already still recording, but late enough to warrant the jokes by the others. Ian was at the head of the table, being the host as usual. Courtney was next to him, much to Y/n’s demise. Emma took the seat next to Courtney to ease her baby sister’s mind, with Y/n taking the end. After they were fitted with headphones and set up with mic stands, they explained to Emma how things were going to go. Then everything went from there.

“Welcome back to another SMOSHcast.” Ian started.

Courtney chimed in with “anotha one”, which caused some giggles. 

“Yes,” Ian continued. “That was the magnificent Co Mill.”

“Tis’ I. The actress of the table,” She greeted. 

“And we have a special guest today. Well, we have two special guests. But one’s more…”

“I swear to God, Ian. If you say something along the lines of “more important” then I will get my revenge during a Pit video.” Y/n jokingly glared at her boss.

“Well, let’s start with you then. Today, we have Y/f/n Y/l/n, a producer for unscripted content here at SMOSH. She’s great. Even when she’s threatening me. She’s still pretty chill.” Ian looked from Y/n to Emma. “And then our extra special guest is Y/n’s older sister, Emma. She’s not on youtube, or in the industry, but there’s a very specific reason why I asked her to be on here today.”

“Thank you for having me, Ian. I listen to the episodes that my sister appears on and they’ve all been great, so far. I’m very thankful for your invite. You guys seem to have a good time.” Emma took a swig from her very own SMOSH thermos that was waiting for her at her seat when she had sat down. 

“Thank you, Emma, for joining us today. How we usually do things is we’ll have some things written down to talk about, a soft outline to keep the show going, but most times we don’t stay on topic. It’s not hard, don’t worry. Just have a good time, okay?” The host 

“Ah, yes.” Said woman hummed into the microphone. “The high point of my day. I know it’s only just starting, but I know I’ll enjoy it.”

“Things are about to get interesting for so many people today.” Ian chuckled into his mic.

“Hey, uh, Y/n. Are you as suspicious as I am, right now?” Courtney was looking straight at her, trying to convey that she felt that something was definitely off.

The two oldest at the table giggled, followed by Ian clearing his throat. “So let’s just get down to it before Ryan and Kevin get on me about not having enough material for posting.”

The cast recording went on as usual. They stayed slightly on topic, jokes were dropped roasts were had, serious conversation made it’s round. Things seemed mostly normal for a SMOSHcast, according to Y/n’s standards. Often, Ian or Emma would make a statement to the other person that would cause her and Courtney to glance at each other. They wanted to make sure that the other one caught what had happened. 

At one point, Emma attempted a joke that only Ian laughed at. But it wasn’t just a pity laugh. It was almost as if there was an inside thought that only they were in on. Y/n kept shifting her eyes between the two of them. Something was up, she could smell it. At first, she thought the idea was to just make her feel uncomfortable, the way Ian did to Courtney about her older sister. The way the two of them were looking at each other, however, told a completely different story. There was something afoot, she just couldn’t figure out what it was yet.

 After one final eye-lock with Courtney, Y/n decided she’d had enough. 

“Alright,” she sat up straight in her seat. “What the actual fuck is going on? There’s a mystery amongst us and I don’t like not knowing what it is. Especially if it involves either myself or my big sister.”

“Yeah, you guys are acting v weird. Like v v weird.” The blonde actress chimed in. 

The two seemed to have a silent conversation before Emma nodded and sat back in her seat, keeping her eyes on the host the entire time.

“So, Y/n, I convinced you to come on with your sister under the pretense that I wanted to harass you like I did with Courtney. Which, by the way, is one of my favorite jokes, mind you. But this time it isn’t a joke. I sincerely want you to know how I feel about Emma.”

Courtney giggled uncomfortably. “Why do I feel like we’re about to have the opposite of the divorce talk?” 

“Oh my God.” Y/n breathed. “Because we are. I don’t...what? You guys JUST met this week. How...What?!”

“Well, Baby Sister, that isn’t exactly true. Ian and I found each other on your social media. Tweet replies happened...and then DM’s...and then texts...and then facetime. This week is just the first time I got to finally see him in real life. And I gotta admit,” Emma winked at the host. “I like in-person a heck of a lot better.”

Ian blushed and looked at his laptop while Y/n remained lost beyond all words. She watched her sister and then watched Ian. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. When had this all started? How deep into their relationship were they?

Ian leaned into his mic, but Y/n had a feeling it was because it got him closer to Emma. “I decided to bring this onto the pod because I wanted to share with everyone where I’m at in life and how I’m feeling about it. And honestly? Emma? I love you. And I’m very thankful that I get to have you in my life. I hope I get to have you next to me for a very long time.”

Y/n swallowed and put her hands on her headset before pulling them off and standing up. “Excuse me.”

She quickly walked off of the set. She kept her head down as she made her way to her office, ignoring the people in the hallways. Once she got to the room, she closed the door and started taking breaths. She didn’t understand her reaction but she couldn’t take it back. She couldn’t believe she walked out of the podcast recording. What was she thinking?

Y/n expected a knock on the door at some point, but what she wasn’t expecting was the person behind it when she opened it. Courtney shyly let herself in and closed the door behind her.

“We wrapped it up. Finnerty thinks there should be enough material, even if they take out the last ten minutes of what was recorded.”

Y/n sat at her desk and laid her head in her hands. “They don’t have to cut it out. It’s my fault, not theirs. They wanted to talk about it, so it should be heard. It shouldn’t be up to me.”

Courtney sat across from the producer. “You know Ian would never put something out there that made any of us uncomfortable. Yeah, it’s his love life, but it’s your family. We’re all family. We look out for another.”

“That’s not why I’m upset, Courtney!” Y/n threw her hands into the air. “I’m happy for them! If they make each other happy, then more power to them! It’s not about Ian and Emma. I mean, yeah, it triggered something. Because now I have to worry even more about my personal life and my business life fucking together. Because it went so well last time!”

Y/n realized she was shouting and apologized quietly to the other girl that had closed her eyes and stayed silent through the tantrum. Neither of them said anything for what felt like hours, but it was only minutes. The producer drummed her fingers on her desk as the actress nibbled at her lip.

“For what it’s worth,” Courtney started. “I’m sorry. About everything. Between us, I mean. I had no idea any of that was going to happen during the recording. But with you and I...we could have had a healthy breakup. Neither of us took it well and it didn’t help that I hooked up with some random friend the next day. It was only a distraction.”

Y/n looked up and met her eyes. “No, Courtney. You don’t owe me an apology. Not for that. We weren’t together anymore. You were allowed to do anything, anyone, that you wanted. That’s the freedom of not being in a relationship, right?”

“I did it because I knew you could see me. I played it off like ‘fuck it, I don’t care’, but really I knew at any given second you could catch us getting close. And for that, I definitely should apologize.” 

Y/n gave a pathetic attempt at a smile to keep herself from crying. “I honestly loved you, Courtney. We were together before you were even out. I felt honored. And then right before you planned on coming out, we broke up. I thought that you were going to come out and that I would be right there with you.”

The tears seemed to be contagious, and Courtney started sniffling. “I wanted you to be there with me. I think I got scared. At first, I was so hyped, but when the day came...I thought it would be better for my image, or what the fuck ever lame excuse I had, if I came out and was single. But I think I was just scared of our relationship. I was absolutely falling in love with you, too, and it scared me. I hadn’t felt that way before and I just kept picturing it crashing. I had no clue how to save it if it did. I decided to hit the self-destruct button. It had to be easier if I was the one that ran it into the ground, right?”

“I was really mad at Emma yesterday when I came in here and watched how easily you two talked to each other. It’s been almost a year and I still don’t know how to ask you how your day has been. And when I saw you two laughing as if our breakup didn’t break me...I think I was jealous. Not because I want our relationship back, but because I wanted what we were before our relationship happened.” Y/n began wiping her nose with one of the tissues she kept by her monitor. 

“I miss it, too.” Courtney gave a half-smile. “Maybe one day we could make it back there?”

“I’d like that, Court.”

“It wasn’t you guys.” Y/n found herself in Ian’s office with Emma sitting on his couch, coffee in the older sister’s hand. “I, in no way, am upset at you guys finding someone that you love. If I can speak frankly, I panicked because I saw my personal life and my professional life crumbling down around me and it terrified me. I can’t help the fact that you two found each other. And you two are not responsible for how I reacted. I’m still dealing with the last time those two parts of me crashed and burned. I want you guys to know how much you mean to me as individuals and I can’t wait to see how you two are together.”

Ian was sitting at his desk. He thought through Y/n’s words before carefully choosing his own. “I would never want to do something, as your boss, to make you feel uncomfortable outside of this building. If this isn’t for you, Emma and I being together, then let me know. Yeah, it might suck, but you were my producer before I met Emma. My first priority was and is my work. And you’re a part of that. So if it does start to be too much for you, then please let me know. Don’t ever feel like you’d have to choose between Emma or here.”

Y/n made her way to his side of the desk and hugged him around his shoulders. “I know this isn’t your thing but deal with it for a few seconds. Today has been a lot. We both need this.”

When Y/n released her hold she kept her hands on his shoulders. “But, real talk? If you hurt my big sister I’ll hide your body so fast, no one will know.”

[capaldifiction]

Our Chaotic Life (Part 2) - Lewis Capaldi x Reader

Well I told myself this series would be individuals scenes per part and I’d keep them relatively short. Yeah I already broke that on part 2. If you’ve read my other stuff you’ve probably noticed I tend to write long fics so hopefully this was just expected lol Hope you all enjoy part 2!

Paring: Lewis Capaldi x Comedian Reader

Word Count: 2,938

Description: Based on the request: “Lewis and the reader are kinda like a power couple of sorts? Idk it sounds cheesy but maybe she’s like a comedian or something and they are kinda infamous for their TikToks and Instagram Lives and stuff of that sort? Maybe it’s just a compilation of them just being effin adorable?“

In this part Lewis and Y/N go on a date.

Warnings: Some swearing (this is just going to be on every fic tbh)

PART 1

Y/N looks herself over in the mirror for what felt like the hundredth time in the last hour. Everything she put on she hated.

After meeting at the venue, her and Lewis had their first ‘date’ that night after their gigs. The audience had liked both their sets, and they’d gone out for drinks to celebrate. Since then they’d managed to find time for two more dates during the day.

What she wasn’t prepared for was how much she liked him increasing after each date. What had started as a joke, seemed like it was turning into something else. But they’d only had drinks and two lunch dates so far. When he’d called to ask her on another, and she suggested meeting up later for dinner instead, she hadn’t fully thought that through.

Staring at her open wardrobe in front of her, she sighed. The drinks were just that, drinks after a gig. She wore what she’d been wearing all day. And the lunch dates she’d figured were casual, they were just meeting up for lunch and it wasn’t that serious yet. Still just joking about marriage.

But something about getting dinner together, after three dates she genuinely enjoyed, felt like she had to put more effort into how she looked. But how much effort? He didn’t seem the type to dress up too much, but what if he did and she under-dressed? Or she went for it and he showed up in a t-shirt and jeans?

Swearing at the clothes in front of her she finally grabbed something off the hanger and convinced herself it was good enough. As she ran her brush through her hair, she practiced a few lines for her next set in the mirror in attempt to calm herself down.

So far everything with Lewis had been light. Everything was joking around and having a good time, getting to know one another while slagging each other off. Somewhere in there she realized how much she was actually enjoying being around him. And part of her wanted it to be deeper.

Her door bell rings, pulling her from her thoughts as she grabs her things and heads toward the door. Swinging it open reveals Lewis standing on her doorstep with flowers in hand.

“I, thought maybe you'd like flowers?” he asks hesitantly offering them toward her. “If not I’ll chuck them in the bush and we can pretend this part never happened.”

“How uncharacteristically sweet of you,” she teases but accepts them from him. “Come on in, I’ll find something to put them in.”

Following her into her apartment, he looks around the room as she rummages through a drawer in the kitchen. “Nice place,” he comments as he looks at pictures hanging on the wall.

“Thanks,” she shouts back, finally finding something suitable and filling it with water. “Where’d you want to go to eat?”

“Uh, I heard about an Italian place nearby maybe?” he offers as he goes to stand in the entryway of her kitchen.

“Works for me,” she answers, finally setting the vase of flowers on her window sill.

As she turns back toward him, Lewis clears his throat, “You look, really nice by the way.”

Stepping closer to him, she reaches up to lightly squeeze one of his blushing cheeks, “You look pretty handsome yourself, I thought you only owned hoodies.”

“Thought I’d make an effort to look a bit nicer for you tonight,” he teases back as they head out the door toward his car.

The dinner went well, though the wine might have helped calm her down a bit. Being around him was comfortable. He had that ease about him. At some point during the dinner she’d suggested seeing a movie, and that’s how they ended up at some action movie she wasn’t sure either of them were really all that into.

Admittedly she spent more time during the movie overthinking about what him holding her hand meant, than actually paying attention to the plot line.

Heading out to the parking lot they joked about the movie lightheartedly before growing silent as they reached his car. Neither seemingly ready to head back home.

“There’s this place not too far we could go hang out,” she suggests.

“Sure that works for me,” he nods and they get into the car, “So where is this place?”

“Ok this is going to sound sketchy, but just trust me,” she clarifies as she puts the location on the GPS in his phone. “It’s just a field past some wooded areas I used to go hang out at as a teenager.”

“Is that where you’re going to harvest my organs?” he asked with a raised eyebrow as he glances at the GPS.

“If that was the plan I’d not have gone on this many dates with you Lewis, too many witnesses and too much work,” she jokes.

“That wasn’t a no,” he responds as he follows the directions to the location.

“You’re supposed to be my betrothed, and you don’t trust me?” She says in a mock sad voice.

Somehow between the movie theater parking lot and their destination, she found her hand resting on his leg. Neither seemingly wanting to move it, she contented herself with rubbing small circles on his thigh as he drove and they chatted about nothing in particular.

She’d found a pair of discarded sunglasses and put them on at some point, ignoring the fact it was far too dark to see efficiently with them.

“We make sacrifices for the sake of good sunglasses,” he joked nodding approvingly at her choice. “Fuck the sun, look class all the time.”

As they finally reached the place, she shifted the sunglasses up to her forehead and directed him to parked in the center of the field, “Want to get out and stargaze?”

He shrugs, “Sure, I’ll get some music playing.”

Y/N gets out of the car, leaving the sunglasses on the dash, and walks to the front of his car and crawls up on the hood. Behind her Lewis rolls the windows down, and gets out closing the door before reaching through the window to select a radio station and turn the car off.

“Oh, none of your music to play?” she questions as he crawls up on the hood next to her.

“Unfortunately, I don't have my own radio station or record at this point darling,” he responds lightly flicking her forehead.

“Yet,” she comments, laying back to look at the sky.

“Oh?” he comments, laying back beside her. “You believe in me huh?”

“I don’t marry losers Lewis,” she says with a wink toward him, a smile spreading across his face. “Seriously though, you’ve got a great voice, you keep pushing and you’ll make it.”

“Glad you think so,” he replies before they go silent.

After a few minutes of looking up at the stars in the sky, they start telling each other various stories from their childhoods and teen years. At some point she’d found herself flush up against his body, with his arm around her as her head rested on his shoulder.

“How’d you get into comedy?” he asked as he pushed some loose hair from her face.

“When you’re a sarcastic smart-ass you either need to learn to suppress it or harness it,” she says with a grin. “I chose the later.”

“This sounds like a ‘with great power comes great responsibility’ moment,” he chuckles.

“Nah fuck that, it’s a super villain story,” she adds. “But nah.. that’s true, but I just found I liked making people laugh. I can’t say I just discovered a talent and wanted to run with it. I just enjoyed the laughs and smiles on faces. When I was young I just liked the attention, the older I got, I liked being able to just say something that could bring someone’s spirits up. And comedy seemed like something that used what I’m good at, to bring some happiness to peoples lives even if it was just for a half hour set. Sometimes we all just need a moment to forget about all the shit going on in our lives and just laugh. Not much of an origin story, class clown realized she liked making people happy.”

“I think that was the most sincere thing I’ve heard you say since I’ve met you,” he murmurs, holding her closer to his body. “I feel the same way. I love music, and it’s the only thing I could see myself doing because it’s how I enjoy spending my time. But my favorite part is when people tell me after a show how much something I wrote helped them, or just made them happy.  People just coming out to listen to me. There’s something fantastic in doing what you love and getting to make a few people happy along the way.”

They sit in silence for a few minutes before Y/N lifts their joined hands to motion vaguely at the sky, “Just noticed Orion is right there.”

“You ever do this sort of thing before?” he asks as he tears his gaze from the sky to look toward her.

“Are you asking if I’ve ever looked at the stars before or if I’ve brought someone else here before?” she says in a teasing tone. “Jealousy I detect?”

“Maybe,” he chuckles. “I suppose both to answer your question.”

“I’ve always come out here alone,” she admits looking toward his face. “At night to just relax, and during the day sometimes to write. It’s removed enough from everything to just be alone to the world, but close enough that as a teen I could be back before anyone noticed I was gone.”

“Who’d have imagined, you’d be a cheeky one like that.”

“I’m certain I’m not alone on it.”

“In sneaking out to look at the stars yes, in sneaking out being places you shouldn’t be at 2 AM, no.”

“Look at this bad boy we have here,” she laughs.

“The absolute worst,” he replies, propping himself up on his elbow to look at her better. “I.. I’ve been really enjoying our time together.”

“Me too,” she says softly, her eyes locked onto his before flickering down his lips and back up.

Leaning down, he captures her lips in a kiss as she releases his hand to tangle her fingers in his long hair. Pulling him closer, within seconds he’s over top of her as their lips move urgently.

Pelvis to pelvis, with both her hands in his hair, and both his on either side of her head, they finally break apart to take a breath, a laugh passing between the two of them.

Her eyes flicker away from his for a moment, “Shooting star,” she whispers quietly, her arms wrapping around his shoulders.

His head turns to look up at the sky, the light from the stars reflecting off the blue of his eyes as she finds herself unable to look away from him. “You make a wish?” he asks as he looks back down to her.

“Maybe I did,” she says softly before pulling him back down by his shoulders so his forehead is pressed to hers, his hair making a curtain around their faces. “What about you?”

“I’m pretty happy with the present moment,” he admits before pressing his lips to hers once again.

-

“You going to get out to give me a proper goodbye?” she teases standing in front of the driver side door after their drive back to her place.

“Of course,” he answers, getting out to pull her into an embrace. She settles into him immediately before turning her face up toward his to receive a soft kiss.

“I could get used to this,” she murmurs against the fabric of his shirt, a happy laugh coming from him.

“Well you’re going to have to if you stick to your word,” he teases.

“How far’s your drive?” she asks as her arms squeeze him tighter, not wanting to let go just yet.

“Well,” he mutters, sounding unsure about answering. “It’s about an hour.”

“An hour!?” she exclaims, pulling back from him to look at the sheepish look on his face. “You’re shittin’ me right?”

“It’s alright, not that bad,” he shrugs.

“Why didn’t you tell me before? I wouldn’t have suggested the movie or the field, you could have gone home hours ago. It’s like…” she lets go of him to pull her phone out and look at the time. “Lewis it’s 1 AM.”

“We’d just been having lunch dates so it wasn’t a big deal,” he says. “Had plenty of time to get back. You wanted dinner tonight so I was fine with doing the drive late.”

“But we could have come back hours ago so you wouldn’t be this late,” she argues.

“I didn't want to go then,” he answers simply. “I wanted to watch the movie with you, I wanted to go out to the field. I don’t mind getting back late.”

“Lewis that’s stupid, you should have said something,” she huffs before looking toward her house. “Alright turn your car off and get your ass inside, you’re staying here tonight.”

“I- wait what?” he asks astonished. “Staying with you?”

“I’m not letting you drive an hour back home this late, I have a spare bedroom you can you take,” she answers heading toward the door.

“Oh, ok,” he replies still sounding surprised. Getting into his car quickly, he shuts it off then slams the door shut to head into her apartment.

After he makes it through the door, she locks it behind him and beckons him in toward the spare room. Flipping the light on she rummages through the closet to pull out a towel for him. “I don’t think I have anything that’ll be your size, but if you want to shower and at least wash your shirt or something the washer is in the closet in the hall.”

“I usually just sleep in my pants, rest of my clothes should be fine for tomorrow,” he replies, running his hand through his hair awkwardly.

“Bathroom is at the end of the hall on the left, my room on the right. You know where the kitchen is,” she rattles off as she heads back toward the door of the room. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

Quickly shutting the bedroom door behind her, she rushes to her bedroom to get changed, her heart beating rapidly in her chest. She knew if she’d stayed a second longer in there she’d have just had him get in her bed. And she wasn’t sure if they were there yet. Maybe they were. Maybe they weren’t. Being rejected wasn’t how she wanted to end what had been a good night.

After getting changed, she cracked her door open in case he needed her, and flipped her lights off before crawling into bed.

It was odd she realized. It wasn’t like this was the only time she’d ever brought a man here. But it was definitely the first that she’d made one spend the night in her spare bedroom. Though she’d known most of them longer than she’d known Lewis. Yet… could she say she had the same butterflies he had her feeling? Probably not.

Frustrated, she hugged her pillow to her chest and closed her eyes in an attempt to sleep.

After a few minutes, she hears the door to spare bedroom open, and footsteps coming down the hall. He reached the bathroom, obviously trying to be quiet, but knocked something over in the process as she hears a curse come from the room.

Laughing under her breath she opens her eyes to stare at the blank ceiling above her. After what felt like an eternity, which in reality was probably only five minutes, the bathroom door swings back open, spilling the light into the entrance of her bedroom.

“Lewis?” she calls out before she can stop herself, mentally cursing as she sees him hesitantly lean into the room.

“Everything ok?” he asks.

“No, get in here,” she hisses, sitting up to look at him.

“Wait what?” he hesitates, most of his body still behind the door.

She sighs and runs her hands over her face, “I want you to come sleep in my bed with me Lewis, if that’s not something you want, you can just go back to the other bedroom and we’ll pretend this didn’t happen.”

“I, uh, I don’t mind,” he answers letting go of the door. “But I’m already in my pants, if that’s a problem.”

“Nah, just don’t try anything, I’m tired,” she jokes as she slides back under the sheets.

Stepping into the room, he closes the door behind him before heading over to the other side of the bed and sliding in next to her.

Almost immediately she leans into his chest, and he wraps his arms around her. Laying her head against him she sighs happily as he chuckles.

“Just wanted a little cuddle huh?” he asks as he settles in.

“Mhm,” she hums back. “I’m not sick of you yet.”

“Are we… serious?” he asks gently as he rests his head on hers.

“I’d say betrothed is serious,” she jokes.

“Yeah I know, but that’s been a joke,” he insists. “I just… want to know if this is serious for you.”

“Is it serious for you?”

“Yes.”

“And it’s serious for me, you’re mine then,” she mumbles, feeling the sleep already starting to take over as she enjoys his warmth.

“I guess so,” he says lifting his head to press a kiss to her forehead. “Sweet dreams hun.”

-----

PART 1

Masterlist

Request List

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By Your Side [2/19]

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[1/19] Previous

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"Y/n, please be rational about this. Can we talk about what happened-“ Akashi’s footsteps were heard rapidly and loud as he tried to catch up to you. 

You looked back to see the worried expression on his face but sighed as you continued walking, “No it was nothing, now get me the new Developers profiles from HR”

Akashi was taken back by your sudden switch to work mode in what seemed to be a casual conversation but nonetheless nodded, “Okay but...we really need to talk”

You sighed and looked at your (F/C) wrist watch, moving a hand through your hair and looking up you said, “Okay fine I’m free for lunch today for around 15 minutes.”

Akashi nodded and speed walked off into the opposite direction toward the developers side of the building. And asG you walked to your office after a few hours of walking around and seeing your workers you passed by Kiyoko, who was typing on the computer.

Walking towards her, she stopped typing as soon as you leaned on her desk, she looked up.

“How can I help you Miss?”

Sighing you almost let a smile creep over your face as a mundane thought infected your mind, I know it's not part of your job but could you please get me a coffee. I haven’t eaten and I saw the little coffee shop sandwich you had so I was wondering if you could help a girl out! but you suppressed it.

“I need Sony's head developers contact info could you send me it through email as well as the main company directors?” Your tone was leveled.

Not too friendly, not too cold. 

Professional.

Kiyoko nodded as she turned to her computer already typing out the info, “Of course, also some media outlets would like to have an interview with you. They keep calling.”

You groaned inwardly but let nothing out, “The company is really busy right now so please decline them all.”

Kiyoko nodded, “Understood,” she stopped typing for a minute to look at you and she flashed you a small smile, “ You look great today Y/n. That color really compliments you.”

You wanted to smile, you wanted to say, Thank you! That shirt is adorable on you! 

Instead you let out a nod, “Thanks for the compliment but it is rather inappropriate to call me by my first name, we are in a workplace Ms.Kiyoko.”

Kiyoko’s eyes slightly widened and she resumed typing while saying, “Of course my bad, Miss”

“All is well, even star employees such as yourself have slip ups. Nothing too serious. I will be in my office, if Assistant Akashi comes let him in right away he has important documents.”

Kiyoko nodded and you closed the door to your study. You sat down on your desk and looked around.

Maybe you should redecorate, maybe add some (f/c) accessories and items to your office to make it look more home-

You slapped yourself from the thoughts, although you loved the color (f/c), this was a workplace and the office of the CEO nonetheless!

“Y/n, here are the papers. Lunch is in a few minutes. Should we walk together?”

Grabbing the papers from him you sighed, “You not letting this go are you?”

“No, also Hinata’s joining us for lunch at the cafe”

A small smile crept on your face as your heart became tender for a moment, “Great”

“Attention Viria Tech Employees, Lunch Hour has now commenced” the automated voice rang through the speakers. 

“Let’s get going Y/n” Akashi motioned and both you and him walked into the elevator. Where other employees chattered among each other as well as to  look at both you and Akashi. 

It was obvious that you were the one in charge, your (tall/short/medium) posture was straighten. You never faltered even when wearing heels. The name tag that only said the words  FOUNDER & CEO,Y/n L/n was enough to educate those who didn’t know.

You and Akashi exited the elevator and out of the 9 stories high building. Hinata ran up to you two and the three of you walked in a diagonal line. You are in the middle of Hinata and Akashi, Hinata wearing a white collared work shirt and Akashi opting for a more casual work style vest. 

“Why didn’t Kenma come?” Hinata asked as the trio walked for a few more minutes to the desired coffee shop.

“His team and unit are busy cleaning up the mishap, we should get him something. Akashi write it down”

Akashi nodded and Hinata’s face morphed into a teasing grin, “Y/n we’re on break call him Keiji! You act like strangers!”

You clicked your tongue, “Both you guys and Kenma call me Y/n that causes enough confusion in the workplace. Secretary Kiyoko called me that today and I had to remind her to keep things professional.”

Hinata pouted and Akashi looked at you with a deadpan expression. 

“But aren’t you close with Kiyoko? You let her have a week off to enjoy her engagement party that you were invited to and you didn’t even go!” Hinata let out.

“I’m her employer I have to give her time off and the sentiment was sweet but it would not be appropriate-“

“It's clear that she thinks of you as a friend and a boss, why-“

“We’re here,let’s hurry before a line forms” Akashicut off both you and Hinata’s conversation. 

The three of you, or mostly  Hinata and Akashi frequented the shop to where the workers knew who they were and their orders. 

On rare days like today you would go with them and order a (fav drink) to drink and another small add on. 

Grabbing the orders, the three of you walked to the usual table in the corner of the shop where the sun hit. And for a moment you felt like it was the olden days, where you, Shouyou and Keiji would go to a coffee shop and talk about Shouyou’s boyfriend problems.

“Y/n, earth to y/n!” Hinata spoke, snapping you out of your thoughts.

“Yes, sorry I dozed off Hinata” you let out refocusing your look toward him. 

He pouted, “We’re not on the clock Y/n-Chan! Stop calling me by my last name”

A wave of sadness crashed into you but you quickly recovered, “of course my bad Shouyou.”

“Why haven’t you changed your last name anyways? “ Akashi asked. 

Hinata turned bashful, “We still haven’t decided who’s gonna take who’s name….”

A small laugh left you and you shook your head, “Sounds about right”

Hinata grinned, “ You should laugh more y/n-Chan! Maybe we should get you a boyfriend”

Your face turned serious, “Of course not, I don’t have time for a romantic relationship the company is doing well right now. Once we get over this mishap and finalize the deal with Zony we will be way over the expected profit margins. Which means maybe we can open a sister location and-“

“Y/n, we’re on break” Akashi popped up and you bit the inside of your cheek. 

“Sorry, but yeah uhm no boyfriend.” You managed to choke out.

Hinata looked at you and so did Akashi and then they switched to look at one another and it was like they we’re telepathically speaking. 

Hinata nodded at Akashi and asked, “What happened last night Y/n?”

You felt your blood slightly boiled as you narrowed your eyes at your assistant, “Keiji, telling Shouyou was completely unprofessional-“

“There it goes, your favorite word.” Akashi let out, “It happened when I wasn’t on the clock and as your childhood friend  first and assistant second, I told him because I’m worried” 

You huffed out and looked at Hinata trying to reassure him, “Nothing happened Hinata”

“Shouyou, I know you're lying when you pull that professional speak and tight lip smile outside the office” Hinata confronted. 

You sighed, they had finally worn you down, “Find! My stalker was there somehow, during the meeting with the investors and he cornered me into the bathroom.”

“Y/n?! Did you scream for help?!”

You shook your head, “The investors were in a nearby table,  I would have caused a scene! Luckily the security noticed him and were extremely professional and discreetly got rid of him.”

“Y/n….” Hinata let out, his big brown doe eyes reflecting sadness and worry. Your heart clutched at the sight. 

“I’m fine nothing happened and the investors did their part. It all went well besides that!”

“Y/n, I think we should invest in security for you. A body guard perhaps?” Akashi let out.

Hinata nodded, “Yeah! They can keep you safe and-“

“No, I don’t need anyone constantly by my side like a hound out of business hours”

“An when do business hours stop for you huh?” Akashi remarked, “I know you slept in your office Y/n to  help  ease the workload on the developing team”

You blood rushed to the tip of your ears and your eyes darted away, playing with your hands you scoffed.

“Please Y/n? Pretty pleaseee” Hinata pleaded like whenever he needed a few more dollars in college.

There was a lump stuck in your throat and you looked at your two close friends…...their eyes were full of concern and pleads.

“Okay sure, but just one bodyguard okay?” You spoke.

They both brightened up and Akashi got his notepad, “I will so research and compile a list.”

“And I'll make sure he’s your type Y/n!” Hinata cheered. 

A blush made its way to embrace your neck, ears and cheeks, “Shouyou!”

Then laughter was released from your table and even a small chuckle left you. And that moment was warm, or maybe it was your heart. It certainly helped that there was the smell of coffee and baked goods.

Just like old times.

“This is the company that has good reviews….wait let me look it up”

Hinata waited patiently as Akashi type on the keyboard of his laptop. They were in the HR block of the building far from Y/n and her prying eyes.

“I was right, it was the same company that handled the restaurant incident. I’ll call them right now, they seem reputable.”

Hinata nodded vigorously, “Can we pick who to choose?”

Akashi kept clicking on the computer, his eye was knitting together, “On the website it says yes, they have their guards listed…”

“Oh…” Akashi leaned backwards, “So that was Bokuto’s new job huh?”

“Oh the one with the white hair?! He’s your boyfriend!” Hinata asked, Bokuto was tall and broad with big shoulders. His picture was similar to the other ones, black t shirt, black jeans and a white background. 

The default pictures underneath in small lettering it said, uniforms are up to the contractor.

“Oh! The one next to him! Y/n would love that one!” Hinata pointed at  Akashi’s screen, leaning in on him. 

“The one with all black hair? Grey eyes?” Akashi asked as he swirled the small mouse icon around the picture. 

Hinata nodded a grin so wide plastered on his face as he nodded, “Totally! He is 100% her type and looks wise!”

A small laugh left Akashi, “Y/n likes guys like that huh?”

Hinata nodded, “C’mon tell me you wouldn’t want to see Y/n break professional mode when she sees this guy in a suit!”

Akashi choked on his laugh and he looked at Hinata with slight wide eyes. It seemed like Hinata was very mischievous but with the best intentions.

Akashi composed himself, “I would...okay I’ll email the contractors and choose him.”

“Wait what’s his name? Remember Y/n said we would have to text her the guys names so that Kiyoko can make a Tag to enter the building, then he could talk to Kiyoko about getting a official company ID”

Akashi as he closed up his computer as he took a final glance, “Osamu Miya”

Hinata sent you a quick text and continued to be on his phone. While Akashi was on the phone chatting with the contractor and Kiyoko about the new employee. 

Once he was done, Akashi’s phone being put down snapped his attention back.

“So Osamu’s been contracted, he will be here next week to shadow Y/n for the day. From there we will set up a schedule for his working hours.”

Hinata nodded, “Are you going to tell her tonight?”

The clock struck 9pm, so work for the both was done for the day. But as they walked outside to the leave, side by side they noticed how both Kenma’s car and yours were still in the Parking Lot.

Akashi sighed, “I’ll tell her tomorrow. If I can give her a work break for at least a few hours tonight it's a win”

A small frown kissed Hinata’s face as he sighed, “Yeah, I wish she’d take some time off.”

Akashi let out a slightly bitter laugh, “As if, you know y/n. All work no play”

Hinata wriggled his eyebrows, “Who knows when Mr.Bodyguard arrives”

Akashi shook his head, “I feel like it will take more than a hot boy in a suit to crack Japans #1 Mogul”

         ♡━━━━━━ ◦ ✤ ◦ ━━━━━━♡

☁️🧡☁️ Taglist (reply to be added)

@ambabhie

@fatal-impact

[diyeoracha]

IwaOi Master Fic Rec List (50+ Fics)

Hello! In celebration accumulating over 190+ bookmarks on my AO3 account featuring IwaOi and Iwaizumi coming back into the manga (and for his (almost) birthday), I decided to create a masterlist of all of my favorite fanfictions in order to keep myself organized as well as contributing to more traffic on those works! I decided to split the works up by my own self-imposed genres, such as angst, coming-of-age (or the childhood-friends-to-lovers trope that we all love which depicts how their relationship changes as they grow up and will mostly be canon-compliant), and alternate universe. With the revival of Iwaizumi in the manga, alternate universes will be broken down into adulting AU where he and Oikawa’s diverge differs from in canon and actual, legit AU where there’s basically no volleyball.

I’ll include the title, link, word count, fic summary, and my own commentary (mostly for my own personal entertainment). While the AO3 fandom has been going strong since 2014, I personally have only been reading IwaOi fics for about 3 months, so I will most likely be recommending some cult-favorites, especially since I’ve been reading my fics by sorting through the tag with the most kudos.

My absolute favorites (or the ones where I personally push onto my IRL haikyuu friends) will be denoted with ♡ in increments of 1-3 with 3 ♡ being an absolute must-read. Fics marked with a * indicate that Iwaizumi or Oikawa or both are professional athletes because that’s honestly my Favorite Trope. This is incomplete as I got distracted while re-reading a lot of these and have only gone through half of my bookmarks, but feel free to check my own page here for the rest of them! This took me about 9 days to compile (aka this was in my drafts for about 9 days) but I do hope you guys enjoy reading these and leave comments and kudos!

Adulting AU 

*♡♡Thirty Years and Change (the Games of the XXXIII Olympiad)

Word count: 19k

Summary: It’s July 10th, 2024, and Oikawa Tooru is an Olympian. His smiling face airs on an NHK promo every 45 seconds. He’s captain of the national men’s volleyball team, reigning star of the professional leagues, and he hasn't spoken to Iwaizumi Hajime in two years.

Thoughts: THIS IS IT. THIS FIC IS GOD TIER. They’ve been separated but now are falling back into old habits and there’s a confession on the line? Akaashi is in here and he’s pretty funny. I reread this all the time.

*♡♡♡the courtship ritual of the hercules beetle

Word count: 66k

Summary: Tooru is pretty sure he could manage the mating habits of a mosquito. It’s the mating habits of people he can’t seem to get right.

Thoughts: Absolutely the best IwaOi fic I’ve ever read. I’ve reread this about 4x and I always pay attention to a new sentence or detail that leaves me breathless. The characterization is pretty spot on, and I have to admit that this fic made me appreciate IwaOi a little more. I’ve cried countless times too. A cult-favorite but it doesn’t have nearly as many hits as it deserves.

♡days fall away

Word count: 17k

Summary: Except now he’s back home, so close to his old haunts and to Oikawa himself, and it's—weird.

Thoughts: They’ve separated for a bit but now they’re back in the same city and learning to be around each other again. Cue teasing from the biological and Seijoh family

it's been so long (nobody knows me the way you do)

Word count: 8k

Summary: Tooru hums, only half-listening. Somewhere along the way, Hajime’s palm has settled itself over the curve of Tooru’s cheek, thumb tracing over the line of his jaw.

Thoughts: They’re living together post-college feat. snapshots from their lives before getting together and their Seijoh team! It’s really soft but it manages a humorous tone as well.

Time

Word count: 5k

Summary: When they're twenty-three, their story only begins.

Thoughts: A piecewise fic told from Oikawa’s point of view. The tone is almost chatty but it really fits the pacing of the work as you get snippets and sentences of their relationship throughout the years

♡Almost a Stranger

Word count: 16k

Summary: Iwa-chan's leaving Japan. Tooru's not sure he can forgive him, but he's not going to admit his long-held feelings, either. A trip to Miyajima complicates everything.

Thoughts: They go on vacation right before Iwaizumi leaves Oikawa for a year. Oikawa ponders their relationship.

where fireflies never die

Word count: 4k

Summary: >>Oikawa: Hey Iwa-chan >>Oikawa: Did I ruin it?

Thoughts: Oikawa is a mangaka and basically writes his best selling series based off of him and Iwaizumi. This was pretty angsty ngl with a lot of introspection and second-guessing.

In the Business of Love

Word count: 22k

Summary: Meet Oikawa Tooru: He's a best-selling shoujo manga artist, a hardcore romantic and you won't believe where he's getting his lovey dovey fodder from...Enter Iwaizumi Hajime: He's Oikawa's best friend, a realist who also happens to be a wedding magazine writer despite not believing in romance...

Thoughts: Mangaka Oikawa but this is basically a rom-com lmao

Alternate Universe

Even Heroes (have the right to dream) 

Word count: 20k 

Summary: Oikawa Tooru, ace reporter of the superhero beat of Asahi Shimbun, hates superheroes. Or maybe he just hasn’t met the knight one yet. 

Thoughts: Superhero-hiding-his-identity-Iwaizumi and begrudging Oikawa? Sign me up. This fic spent a little more time on worldbuilding than eventual romance, but it is still absolutely unique and entertaining

The secret omega

Word count: 17k

Summary: Iwaizumi’s annoying as fuck best friend. Who absolutely, definitely, no matter what, cannot find out that Iwaizumi is an omega.

Thoughts: A/B/O dynamics where Iwa is the omega and Oikawa is the alpha. 90% plot building which is pretty nice.

Conquering the Great King

Word count: 105k

Summary: Oikawa's lips twitched into a smirk and he brought them hovering just over Iwaizumi's, "One time thing, Two time thing, what's it matter as long as it's not a Relationship thing?"

Thoughts: Malicious and flirtatious Oikawa meet immovable object Iwaizumi. They’re businessmen trying to navigate friends-with-benefits and love all at the same time. A+ sex scenes tbh. 

♡Infinite Risks

Word count: 8k

Summary: “It’s my fate,” Oikawa responds slowly. He’s crying.“It’s too lonely,” Iwaizumi’s heart sounded broken. “And I’m not there with you. Not really.”

Thoughts: Edge of Tomorrow AU!!!!! Please watch Edge of Tomorrow first because it’s truly a brilliant movie that I wholly enjoyed and this fic reflects that. This also made me really sad so Beware

*♡Something Like Us

Word count: 28k

Summary: Friends since childhood, Oikawa and Iwaizumi now live together, both playing for the National Team. It's no secret that athletes who are bonded perform better. So if the two of them happen to bond...It'd be for the good of the team, right?

Thoughts: ABO dynamics (and somewhat canon-compliant) as they’re roommates, on the national team, and try to navigate being “fake” mated while harboring feelings

And All the Prince’s Men

Word count: 65k

Summary: “Father only loves that which he owns, and I am the one thing that can never truly be his.”

Thoughts: Royal bastard son Oikawa and his servant Iwaizumi. An enthralling read and universe. The romance takes a secondary seat here as it focuses more on plot and world-building. 

♡long nights, no peace

Word count: 18k

Summary: It's the steady knowledge that Iwaizumi Hajime will always be someone that he can rely on, that no matter what the world throws at the two of them, they share in a piece of each other's soul.

Thoughts: Pacific Rim! AU. Otherwise known as my favorite types of AUs because they’re basically soulmates (platonic or not,, but they’re not platonic here)

♡(sing with me) A Song of Conquest and Fate

Word count: 26k

Summary: When Seijou receives a missive from Aobajousai to discuss a potential peace, its emperor Oikawa Tooru could not have foreseen the series of events that would follow.

Thoughts: Warring states/historical fantasy AU. The world building is amazing and this author has great control over her language use

Cotton Breathing

Word count: 13k

Summary: 

Thoughts: Long-distance and summer only but childhood friends Iwaoi!!! A dreamy summer piece and reading it almost makes me feel like I’m in a Studio Ghibli movie because of the mood it puts me in

Similar Creatures

Word count: 53k

Summary: "What's your name?" "Whatever you want it to be."(Or, Oikawa gets directions from an attractive stranger on a street corner.)

Thoughts: Iwaizumi is an escort and Oikawa needs a fancy date

Space

Word count: 44k

Summary: Tries not to think of his rooftop garden, or the apartment he used to inhabit, or Hajime’s broken expression on the night they whispered their goodbyes before Tooru’s launch, attempting to push it all to the back of his mind behind visions of this alien world terraformed

Thoughts: Oikawa’s in outerspace. They’re separated. This left me feeling pretty empty ngl.

♡here comes your man 

Word count: 8k

Summary: Iwa-chan, it reads, Have a good day today! Good luck! <3 <3 <3Suga chokes. It’s hard to imagine anyone calling the scowling and fierce Doctor Iwaizumi “Iwa-chan.” But marriage probably comes with all sorts of liberties.

Thoughts: Doctor AU where Iwaizumi and Oikawa’s relationship is pondered by Suga

In the Telling

Word count: 6k

Summary: Muggleborn Iwaizumi could not be less impressed with pureblood Oikawa Tooru.

Thoughts: Harry Potter AU where they’re in the same year and aren’t really friends but are also friends

♡♡The Loyalty of A Traitor

Word count: 76k

Summary: Iwaizumi Hajime was an undercover officer with a single objective: Infiltrate the Seijoh Syndicate of the Yakuza and tear them down from the inside out. His primary target was the boss, Oikawa Tooru. The job itself was simple enough, until Iwaizumi got in too deep and absconded not only from the mission, but from the city itself.

Thoughts: Oh fuck this was Good. Yakuza boss Oikawa???? Disgraced Iwaizumi??? Do they fall in love (again)?

and suddenly, we were traitors

Word count: 17k

Summary: "sorry, it's just... you’ve been amazingly kind to me these past few days. ...but i'm still not sure who you are.”

Thoughts: The amnesia fic this fandom needed

Trial by Fire

Word count: 78k

Summary: (lawyer!AU - in which Iwaizumi loves his objections, Oikawa is beautiful, and they have more chemistry than two opposing attorneys probably should.)

Thoughts: Hot

dear diary, i met a boy

Word count: 15k

Summary: Iwaizumi's first impression of his upstairs neighbor involves getting woken up at two in the morning to the sound of Oikawa singing along to trashy pop music. He'd thought it would get better, but it all just goes downhill from there.

Thoughts: Model Oikawa and salaryman Iwaizumi meet and try to make it work

on shipwreck shore

Word count: 8k

Summary: “I’m going to murder you in cold blood and feed you to the basilisks,” Iwaizumi says conversationally.“You can’t do that, I’m your boss,” Oikawa sings, positively sparkling. “Also we’re partners, which means,” he points at Iwaizumi and leans in, “you’re stuck with me.”

Thoughts: Detectives but they’re actually funny

♡Lockdown

Word count: 72k

Summary: Within the first few months of his stay, Oikawa gets caught up in a war between cellblocks, becomes a prime target, and must decide just how far he's willing to go to protect Iwaizumi Hajime.

Thoughts: Orange is the New Black AU!!! Im a sl*t for tatted Iwaizumi

an allegory of all the things we could’ve been

Word count: 16k

Summary: “I don’t know anything about some red string,” Iwaizumi murmurs into the cracks of Oikawa’s skin, “or even about lifetimes or fate. But no matter where you are, I’ll find you. Gods or otherwise.”

Thoughts: Reincarnation AU throughout the timelines. A good soft read that leaves you sort of empty

Angst

Timeless (We Have 30 Days)

Word count: 12k

Summary: Or AU where you're branded 50 days before you die. But Oikawa doesn't tell anyone so now there's only 30 days left.

Thoughts: Ahhhhhhhhh tears

the weight of water

Word count: 6k

Summary: “Again,” he says, the smallest tremor in his voice, and Oikawa blinks at him a moment before smiling, soft and sweet. “Iwa-chan,” he replies, and Iwaizumi closes his eyes. “Again.” “Iwa-chan.”

Thoughts: Death fic 

open when

Word count: 1k

Summary: Iwaizumi knew it was coming, but it still hurt. It still hurt when he opens one letter and drowns it in the tears he cannot keep at bay.

Thoughts: It takes only 1.6k words to make me cry

Canon Compliant/Coming-Of-Age

♡♡i sing the body electric

Word count: 8k

Summary: It was never part of the plan, falling in love with his best friend, but then again, most things in Iwaizumi’s life that involve Oikawa rarely unfold the way he thinks they will.

Thoughts: A beautifully introspective piece told from Iwaizumi’s point of view. It’s wholly intimate and it toes along the lines of pining and soft angst. It’s told in snippets from their lives growing up together. 

♡we can do better than that

Word count: 16k

Summary: Oikawa and Iwaizumi go on a road trip during the summer after their high school graduation. It doesn't go as expected, but maybe that's not such a bad thing after all.

Thoughts: There’s a lot of character analysis and it takes a step away from the casual banter they’re always portrayed to have and focuses on the intricacies of their relationship. The tone is almost a little more melancholy. (also they have to share a bed! trope)

♡when it starts to rain, they go inside

Word count: 33k

Summary: “Where?” starts Iwaizumi.“My parent’s old lakehouse, silly, didn’t you hear me the first time?”OR: Oikawa takes Iwaizumi to his lakehouse for two weeks, post-graduation.

Thoughts: Oh This Is It IwaOi stans. This fic really solidified my own headcanon for Oikawa (spoiler alert, OP isn’t too fond of Oikawa but she fleshes out his character and his idiosyncrasies so well that you can’t help but be drawn into all of his imperfection) and this fic respects Iwaizumi as well. It has absolutely great characterization and the fic ends on an ambiguous note. 

to be first, to be best

Word count: 26k

Summary: Hajime is apparently something of a masochist, and as he stares down at the tie-dyed AREA51 T-shirt in his hands, he thinks “I’m totally in love with this asshole, aren't I?”

Thoughts: College roommates trying to navigate having feelings for each other while also dating others and not realizing that they’re jealous? A cult favorite.

♡things that change, things that stay the same

Word count: 8k

Summary: Oikawa realizes he's in love with his best friend; it sucks for a while. (But only a while.)

Thoughts: Ahh a slow burn featuring daily moments between Oikawa and Iwaizumi, and Oikawa starts to notice the little things. This was a cute read because Oikawa just comes off as wonderfully earnest. My first Iwaoi fic! And a great one because it really set the standard to how I interpreted their relationship.

it’s better than words

Word count: 3k

Summary: [ or : oikawa makes iwaizumi participate in three bonding activities for new friends, and iwaizumi just wants to know why oikawa's being so weird about this]

Thoughts: Soft pining, fluff, banter, and whispered confessions. This fic really nailed the banter of high school students really well.

♡shiver

Word count: 16k

Summary: Oikawa was always the brave one. Hajime just followed two paces behind.

Thoughts: Oikawa falls first and but Iwaizumi realizes his feelings later on! So soft, so slow burn, so much pining. We get to see their relationship through Iwaizumi’s eyes and actually read him analyze his own feelings.

♡we shine like diamonds

Word count: 26k

Summary: "You know Abe-kun from class?" they snicker, hands cupped around their mouths like they're passing along a filthy secret. "I hear his older brother is... gay."

Thoughts: Character analysis, homophobia, and coming of age makes a good and angsty iwaoi fic

terrarium

Word count: 11k

Summary: At this point, is he really happy with just staying best friends forever? Will he be writing journals and collecting rocks forever (he will, he knows, but that is aside from the point)?

Thoughts: Oikawa has a terrarium and names all of the rocks he puts in (that Iwaizumi gave him) “Iwa-chan #_”

Chasing Paper Suns

Word count: 10k

Summary: Post-high school, Oikawa makes it to the national volleyball team but Iwaizumi doesn't. The next three years become an exercise in growing up without growing apart.

Thoughts: This was pretty sad tbh. Of what it means to grow up together and then suddenly having to adjust to living without each other’s presence.

with every second that you could give

Word count: 9k

Summary: The journey of Iwaizumi and Oikawa going for gold.

Thoughts: Of growing up together, making decisions for each other, and wanting to be together

Only the jellyfish know

Word count: 6k

Summary: Their third and final year at Aoba Jousai has come to an end, and the guys decide to go to the beach the day after graduation.That day, the ocean water is salty, the watermelon is sweet, and the people are sweeter.

Thoughts: Established relationship

Smut

strange.

Word count: 1k

Summary: "god, i fucking hate you."oikawa smiles, cause he knows it's not true. he knows iwaizumi loves him, knows iwaizumi adores him. but he plays along."i hate you too,"

Thoughts: It’s hot

Say My Name 

Word count: 2k

Summary: “Hey, have you ever tried saying my first name?” Iwaizumi blurts, and the thought jumps out of his subconscious only after he's posed the question.

Thoughts:

No Touching Allowed

Word count: 10k

Summary: “You’ve got one rule,” Iwaizumi winks at him.

Thoughts: ExoticDancer!Iwaizumi and stressed out/repressed businessman Oikawa also an AU.

Honorable Mentions

things wikipedia doesn’t tell you

pillow

Phone Home

Share my life, it’s yours to keep

in progress to you

no sleep in the city

The PDA jar

Kissmarked

[babyboy-bangtan]

By Chance Chapter 12

A misunderstanding gone viral puts you on BTS’s radar, which leads to a series of events that finally culminate with you meeting them for the first time.

✚ Pairing: Sub!BTS/Female Reader ✚ Word Count: 5.4K ✚ Rating: M ✚ Warnings: None. ✚ A/N: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of my imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Dialogues spoken in Korean when English is also being spoken will be bolded and italicized. Read on AO3 / Chapters 1-4 /  Chapters 5-8 / Chapters 9-10 / Chapter 11

The Meeting: Part 2

Thanks to some good, old fashioned bribing with tickets to the premiere of your next movie, you managed to get your hand on a couple of the pictures from BTS's SNL shoot, and you were able to have your assistant get you a custom made card for them. It's a pretty simple design, but you think that makes it look just perfect; it's one of their group photos, with 'HAPPY SNL DEBUT DAY'  written at the bottom. It's a cute, well-made card that they can open to see what you've written inside— the problem only being that you don't know what to write just yet.

As you delete yet another sentence you've written on your notes because it doesn't feel right— this has been going on for at least half an hour— an incoming call from your assistant suddenly startles you.

"Fuck." You say, clutching your chest before answering it. "Hey, what's up?"

"Hey, I'm right next in line at the flower shop— do you want me to give the phone to the florist when it's my turn?" 

"Yeah, please do. I'll just wait on the line. Thank you!" 

"Okay, no problem." She says, while you distract yourself by trying to come up with a nice, not too personal message to write to the boys.

They were absolute sweethearts when you met them, much more so than you thought they were going to be, not to mention much more breathtakingly beautiful in person than on screen— and that truly is saying something. It was a bit hard to keep yourself together while they were around you because of how stunning they looked, and when they told you that Jungkook and Jimin were actually your fans you almost lost it. Jungkook was especially adorable— he got so shy around you that it made you want to hug him and tell him it was okay, but you knew that would've been an invasion of his personal space you doubt he would've welcomed.

You almost made a fool of yourself when they asked you what your favorite video of theirs was; you answered Blood, Sweat and Tears so quickly that you were sure they would realize why it was your favorite. You ended up covering it up by saying it was because of how artistic it was— which is not a lie per se, only a partial truth— and they seemed to fully believe you. You couldn't go ahead tell them the true reason was because seeing them hanging from swings, being tied up and blindfolded while kneeling or wrapping their hands around their own throats makes you want to go wild— because they would've rightfully run for the hills.

So, because of how lovely and sweet they were, you want to give them something that might ease their nerves even if it's just a little bit. You know what it feels like to be nervous on SNL for the first time as a host— but they are the first South Korean band to ever perform there and you can't imagine how much pressure they must be feeling over that.

Since you don't know them that well, you went for the safest bet you could think of: a nice arrangement of flowers. You would've loved to go into the shop yourself, but if word got out that you were in a flower shop buying a arrangement with 7 different types of flowers, it'd be only a matter of time before someone put two and two together and fucked up your gift by telling some news outlet desperate for any kind of celeb gossip.

"Hi, sir." You hear your assistant say. "Would you mind speaking with my boss over the phone? She couldn't come here but she wanted to order an arrangement herself—"

"Sure, no problem." You hear a male voice say, a bit further away and muffled. "Hello?" Now his voice is perfectly clear.

"Hi! Thanks for accepting the call."

"No problem, ma'am. What can I help you with?"

"Okay, I wanted to order an arrangement that I need to be ready by... let's say Saturday at noon—"

"Uh, that's very soon—" He says, but you interrupt him because you knew this was coming. The flower shop is quite famous— and that fame is well earned because their work is stunning— but you know from someone that it's not impossible to get them delivered in a couple days, if you're willing to pay the price. Which you are. That's the reason you sent your assistant— so she would try to persuade him if in case you couldn't yourself through the phone and to avoid the possibility of him hanging up on you before hearing you out.

"I know— but I'll pay whatever it costs to get it by this Saturday."

"It's going to be a bit expensive, ma'am—"

"I know." You repeat. "Money won't be an issue."

"Uhhh... okay, then." He says. "What kind of arrangement do you have in mind?"

"I need a big arrangement that must have 7 different types of flowers— and I need it to be noticeable that they are 7 and they're different, and they all need to be given the same importance. I don't want any sticking out more than the others."

"Right, do you have any type of flowers in mind?"

"No because I don't really know anything about flowers— except that they have meanings. It would be perfect if you choose flowers that symbolized greatness, success, longevity, beauty, elegance— that type of things."

"Got it. Any particular color combinations, maybe warmer colors or...?"

"Oh, yes. I want the color you notice first to be pink. Maybe different types of pink? And if you need to add other colors, they should be pastels. But pink has to be the main color. I just want it to look really beautiful. I want the people getting it to feel valued when they see it."

"That I can do, ma'am. Anything else?"

"No, that's all. Thank you so much, my assistant will take care of the payment."

"My pleasure."

"Hi, boss." Your assistant says, always careful to not say your name out loud, just in case. "I got it from here."

"Oh, wait! Did you get the vase already?" You almost forgot to ask.

"Yes. I picked it up before coming here. It looks just like you wanted it. I'll text you a picture later."

"Thank you! See you soon!"

You also had her order a custom made glass vase inspired on the cover of their latest album, but you don't know yet if it's going to look good or clash with the arrangement the florist will make for you. If it doesn't look good you'll just discard the idea, even though you really hope it does. You want them to know you just didn't ask for a generic arrangement of flowers, you want them to be able to tell that you put some thought into this so they know they're appreciated. You know a thing or two about feeling like an outsider, and you also know the relief you can get from knowing that someone from the other side is on yours too, supporting you.

When you hang up, you suddenly have an idea for what you want to write. When you went down a rabbit hole of BTS compilation videos that ended up with you laughing so hard that your stomach hurt and there were tears streaming down your face— who would've thought that the same guys who look like sin personified on stage and music videos were so damn goofy and hilarious?— you noticed there was a word they kept saying, but you forgot to search what it meant.

You open your browser and search 'what does fighting mean in kpop', because even though you're pretty sure that based on the context they used it you understood its meaning correctly, it still doesn't hurt to make sure.

"... a Korean word of support or encouragement. It is frequently used in sports or whenever a challenge such as a difficult test or unpleasant assignment is met. It derives from a Konglish borrowing of the English word "Fighting!"

You were correct.

화이팅— you will definitely use that. You start typing again, and for the first time you actually feel like what you wrote is appropriate for the situation.

You just hope the boys will actually like it, instead of thinking it's too much or that you crossed a line.

Much to Jungkook and Jimin's displeasure— although, to be fair, after meeting you the rest of them wouldn't have minded to spend more time with you either— they had to wait until Saturday before they could see you again. Sadly, even though the day is already upon them, they're now too focused on being completely prepared to really think about anything else. That's the reason why they hoped to meet with you again before the day of the episode; they hoped to interact with you one more time without having to worry so much about giving their best for their performances just yet.

To tell the truth, apart from Jimin and Jungkook who already were very aware they liked you and were really looking forward to meet you, the rest of them hadn't really had any set expectations when it came to you meeting them. Namjoon had been worried about Jin maybe getting flustered— which he didn't because he didn't really talk to you at all to make sure that didn't happen— and Yoongi was hoping to see Jin getting flustered, but he just settled for enjoying how shy and nervous Jimin and Jungkook got when you paid attention to them. What Hoseok loved the most was how quickly you made them feel at ease with you— like you'd known each other for a long time. Taehyung loved that too— and he also loved that you shared your experience with them to make them feel better. It really helped him feel a bit less nervous about their performance.

They had known you'd be nice— how could they think otherwise with Jungkook constantly reminding them about your kind personality— but they felt they weren't really prepared for how easy it was to be around you, even if there were embarrassing moments for several of them. Embarrassment was unavoidable, but any sort of awkwardness was nonexistent. You made them feel comfortable and welcome immediately, and they really appreciated it and were thankful for that.

After you shot the promos you had to leave and gave them all a hug goodbye, which was more than Jungkook ever thought he was going to get. And when you told them you were dying to see them perform live on Saturday, Jungkook felt like he was going to melt into a puddle on the floor. You kept telling them all how amazing and talented they were, and at that point they were all blushing and feeling embarrassed at your praises, not knowing what else to do but saying thank you as you rambled on about how incredible their choreographies and voices were. Namjoon got so shy when you told him his English was incredible that he could barely say another word after that.

When you finally left and they returned to their dressing room, Jungkook had to sit down to process everything that had just happened. He met you, you hugged him twice and to top it all you said they were great and told them how much you loved their songs and music videos.

Both him and Jimin got a good amount of teasing from the others on their way back to the hotel because of how flustered they'd gotten when you talked to them— Yoongi said he thought Jungkook was going to faint when you told him to sit next to you and Hoseok laughed at how charming Jimin tried to be and how immediately shy he got by you just talking to him.

"Namjoon-Hyung got shy too when she said his English was good!"  Jimin had blurted out, trying to divert the teasing to someone else while the others laughed.

"Why are you dragging me into this? I didn't say anything!" Namjoon had complained, blushing deeply.

The teasing went on through the rest of the day, and by the time they had to go to bed, Jungkook started daydreaming about the possibility of you and all of them becoming actual friends. After getting to spend time with you and because of how nice you were, it slowly stopped feeling like something unreachable.

Now, the day of the show is finally here, and even though their performances are at the forefront of their minds, knowing that they'll get to see you again is also something that makes them feel excited. Some more so than others, but they're all excited nonetheless.

When they arrive to the studio the feeling of anticipation starts to truly settle in, and with it nervousness and excitement as well. They are well prepared— they've rehearsed the songs over and over again— but the possibility of something going wrong and affecting the performance negatively is always a worry.

Namjoon walks into the room first, but he suddenly stops his movements when he catches sight of what's on the table.

"What? What's this?"  He asks, shocked, looking around their staff for answers. "Who left this here?"

There's a beautiful, huge flower arrangement waiting for them. 

"Wooooow."  Taehyung says right behind him. "Is this from the SNL people? It's so pretty."  He smells the flowers, closing his eyes as he enjoys their lovely perfume. Someone from their staff answers that someone from the SNL crew left it a little while ago without saying anything else.

The rest walk in and marvel at the arrangement as well, but it's Hoseok who finally realizes there's actually an envelope positioned between the flowers.

"Oh, guys, I think there's a card." He opens the envelope and smiles at the image on the card, showing it to the others."Cute." 

"Who is it from, Hyung?"  Jimin asks, going to smell the flowers as well while Taehyung takes a picture of them.

"It's from [Y/N]-Noona!" Jungkook suddenly exclaims, reading over Hoseok's shoulder. 

"She wrote a message." Hoseok says, handing it to Namjoon, who quickly reads it and translates it for the rest of them.

It's normal to be nervous, but remember you're here for a reason: You already made it. Don't worry, you're gonna kill it! 화이팅! [Y/N]

"She wrote 'fighting' in Korean, that's so thoughtful of her."  He says with a smile, handing the card to Jimin when he asks for it.

"Ah, [Y/N]-Noona is so nice."  Taehyung says as he reads the card with Jimin, who nods in agreement.

"Ah, wait—"  Yoongi suddenly mumbles, crouching down slightly to take a better look. "The vase looks like the cover of our album." 

"What, really?"  Jin says, resting his hands on Yoongi's shoulders and crouching as well. "Oh wow, it does."  In the middle of the soft pink of the glass vase, they can see the distinct heart shape of their album cover art. "This looks very expensive."  He finally adds, standing upright again.

"Hyung, we don't have anything like this for her!"  Jungkook suddenly says, almost panicking.

You got them this incredibly thoughtful gift, and he worries that you might feel they are ungrateful because they didn't get anything for you. How did it not occur to them to get you a flower bouquet as well? It's such a common thing to give, even if it still would've been a smaller gift than the one you gave them. It would've been something, at least.

"Well, we've got the album to give her."  Namjoon says, scratching the back of his head. Until Jungkook mentioned it, he hadn't really considered that they might look rude for not getting you something like this as well.

"Don't be silly, she obviously didn't get us this because she was waiting for something in return."  Yoongi interrupts them before Jungkook starts to have a meltdown. "You can tell she's not the kind of person who'd do something like that."

"He's right."  Hoseok agrees. "I think she just wanted us to feel welcome."

"I think so too."  Jimin says, with Taehyung nodding at his side. Jin and Namjoon also agree, and Jungkook can't really argue against that. You're too kind to be bothered by something like that and you definitely wouldn't get them something because you wanted something from them. You did this because you wanted to, and that's it.

When they start getting dressed for their Boy With Luv performance, Jungkook can't help himself and keeps glancing at the TV on the wall to check if you're there already, even if he knows the show hasn't even started yet. In your first SNL episode you were hilarious, and he knows this time will be no different.

Once you do appear, Jungkook's eyes are firmly glued to the screen. He's vaguely aware a stylist is working on him, but he's just letting her do whatever she needs while enjoying your monologue. The rest of the boys end up watching it as well, even though they don't all understand what you're saying on the same level. Namjoon, however, is laughing so hard he's almost crying.

"Oh my god, she's hilarious."  He says, clutching his stomach. Jungkook had mentioned more than once that you were funny, but he had no idea you were this funny. The way you deliver every line you're saying makes it just perfect. As far as he knows you're not a comedic actor, but looking at you so at ease standing there, he feels like you definitely could be.

Jungkook grins at him, nodding in agreement. 

After that, the there's not much more to do than practice the little details and wait for the time of the performance to come.

When you were told that you only had to be at the main stage a couple minutes before you needed to present BTS, you have to admit you were a little disappointed. You wanted to see the boys again before that, but work is work and you needed to do several outfit changes through the night. You're now dressed in regular clothes again, but after their performance is done you need to rush out of there and start getting ready for another sketch once again. So far everything has been going smoothly, except for one moment where you almost broke character and started laughing, but you managed to work it out pretty well and continue without much trouble.

Once you finally get there, the boys are already waiting on the stage and you manage to wave at them with a smile before a makeup artist pulls you away and starts fixing your face, and soon enough you're standing in front of the camera, ready to introduce them.

"Ladies and gentlemen, BTS." You say, moving away to the side so the camera can focus on them instead.

You, of course, are immediately enraptured by their performance and can't take your eyes off of them. Your brain still has a hard time processing that the boys who got so shy while just talking to you are over there now, being incredibly sexy and seductive like it's the way they are 24/7. They absolutely know what they're doing, and they know how to do it perfectly. They own the stage, and they love it.

You find yourself mouthing the "oh my my my" part of the chorus and dancing on your spot, because it's too catchy not to. The song is great, and you know for a fact it's gonna be a hit, and the performance is even better. You'll definitely be listening to it over and over again after this.

When the song is done, you only manage to give them two excited thumbs up when they look at where you are, before you are ushered away to get dressed for your next sketch. Things thankfully continue to go by without a problem; the audience's response is very positive and you feel quite confident about how everything is turning out to be.

It's not long before you're having another wardrobe change to present BTS's second performance of the night, and you're even more excited about this one than you were before. This song is actually one of your favorites, it's so fun to listen to and you can't wait to see them perform it live.

"Once again, BTS." You say, smiling widely as the camera moves away from you and goes to them.

You can actually sing this one— except for the parts in Korean— so you're really enjoying yourself this time. Dancing to their songs is pretty much unavoidable, and you can't help but mimic some of the easy parts of their choreography as well. They take your breath away through their entire performance— those damn hip rolls could give you a heart attack— and when they finish you start clapping and cheering for them like there's no tomorrow. They do get to see you right before someone takes you away so you can change again, and you manage to give them another thumbs up as you walk away to the dressing room.

When you're finally done with the last sketch, you feel the tension slip away from your body almost immediately. The last thing you need to do is get out of your costume and wrap up the episode with BTS and the cast, and you'll be finally done.

Your final outfit is a simple, not too tight dark blue suit with a white shirt and high heels, and the moment your makeup is fixed up you go back to the stage to get on position for the ending.

The boys are already there when you arrive, and you quickly greet them before someone from the production team starts to place them in the spots that work best for their height in relation to yours. When the cameras start rolling again you deliver your words of thanks for the opportunity to have so much fun with the SNL cast again and thank them, BTS and the amazing production team before saying your final goodbye so the credits can roll in.

You waste no time in hugging the boys one by one, immediately telling them how absolutely amazing their performance was, and then move on to the SNL cast who compliment you and tell you that you did a great job, which you say right back at them. They invite you to the after party, but you politely decline because you actually have a flight to catch in a few hours— and also because you're tired and don't really want to go.

Before you can start saying goodbye to them, Namjoon stops you to speak to you.

"Hey, would you mind to come by our dressing room in a bit? We have a little gift we wanted to give you—" He says, and you suddenly remember your assistant had told you that someone from their staff had asked her that already, and they told her they were going to film it.

"Oh, yes! Of course." You nod. "You guys go ahead and I'll be there in a sec." You want to switch your heels for something more comfortable before that.

They go in the direction of their dressing room, whereas you go find your assistant so she can give you your sneakers and take your high heels from you. Once you're done, you ask someone to lead you to where BTS's is staying.

"Come in, [Y/N]!" You hear Namjoon say when he sees you at the door, and you walk in and bow slightly to their staff before greeting them.

"Annyeonghaseyo."  You say, and they reply the same to you. "Hey guys!" You say, waving at them. You hold yourself back from touching them too much because you don't want their fans to react negatively to this interaction, or maybe take it the wrong way. They all greet you with bright smiles, and suddenly Namjoon asks you to stand in the middle of them so they can take a picture.

"Oh, of course." You position yourself between Jungkook and Jimin. "You guys were so great tonight!" You say once the picture is taken.

You hear a chorus of thank you, and before you can leave Namjoon stops you and hands you a copy of their own album.

"We wanted to give you this—"

"You guys!" You say, genuinely touched at the gesture. "That's so sweet, thank you so much!" You clutch the album to your chest. "I love it."

You have to leave the room shortly after, and you wave at them as you walk through the door while they all yell goodbye to you. 

You look at the album on your way back to your own dressing room; they all signed it, and even wrote little messages like 'thank you for the support', which you find to be absolutely adorable. Your assistant is waiting for you with yet another change of clothes— never in your life you have changed so often in such a short period of time, including your previous SNL appearance— so you can be actually comfortable once you're on your way to the airport.

Today was a long day, but a really fun and exciting one nonetheless. You just hope you'll be able to get some sleep on the plane, because otherwise you'll be fucked tomorrow.

It's not until after they are done filming the ending of their episode that Jungkook has a sudden thought, and waits no time to blurt it out to everyone in the middle of the room, startling even their stylists.

"We didn't thank [Y/N]-Noona for the flowers!"  He cries out, looking like the world is about to end. He was just staring at the arrangement thinking about what a nice gesture it had been and how happy it made him, when he realized they never even did so much as mention it to you— and you didn't say anything about it.

"Oh shit."  Namjoon says, realizing he's right and feeling angry at himself for not realizing it sooner. He had the entire night already planned in his mind and he did everything he had to do meticulously— but your gift was something he hadn't expected at all and his own nerves and excitement made him forget about it with everything else going on. "Do you think she's already gone?"  He turns to their staff. "Can you find out if she left?"

God, they wasted so much time changing into their clothes that it's a very big possibility that you already left the building.

"She's still here, her assistant said she would make sure she doesn't leave yet, but you have to be fast because she has a flight to catch."  Someone from their staff says, slightly breathless.

"Come on, let's go. We can't leave without thanking her."  Namjoon says, and Yoongi frowns from his place on the couch.

"Do we all have to go? I'm sure it will be fine if only you go and thank her for all of us—"  He complains, not wanting to get up.

"We're all going, Hyung. Get up."  Namjoon says, leaving no room for discussion for anyone.

"I didn't really forget to thank her, I just thought they had decided not to and didn't say anything."  Taehyung whispers to Jimin as they walk, who covers his mouth to stifle his laughter.

"Don't tell them that."  He manages to whisper back.

When they finally arrive to your dressing room, they find you sitting there scrolling through your phone without a care in the world. 

"Guys, hi!" You greet them with a smile, standing up once you see them enter. "What happened? My assistant told me—"

"We are so sorry!" Jungkook blurts out, looking very apologetic. You look at him like you have no idea what he's talking about— which, to tell the truth, you probably don't.

"Huh?" You say, frowning in confusion. "Sorry about...?"

"We forgot to thank you for the flowers." Namjoon quickly says, taking the reins of the apology. "We were very grateful when we saw them, and the message on the card was very thoughtful." 

"The flowers— that's what this was about? You are very welcome guys, but it wasn't necessary to come all the way here, I promise." You laugh, lifting up both of your hands as if to make sure they understand you don't mind.

"No, no, it is. You went through all the trouble of getting them and it would be very rude to not thank you for them." Namjoon argues while the rest of them nod in agreement, and you bring your hands to your chest.

"That's incredibly sweet guys— I'm very happy you liked it. I just wanted you to know you are very welcome here. I know there are some people here that can be— how do I put this?" You look like you're trying to find the right words for a couple seconds. "Literal pieces of shit when it comes to talking about you." They all laugh at that, they can't really help it because of the deadpan way you say it. "But so many people here love you and appreciate you, and I hope you never forget that even if sometimes the worst people seem to be the loudest, they're not the majority. Not at all." They are all really touched by your words once Namjoon translates for them, but when he's about to reply to you he's interrupted by your assistant.

"[Y/N], the car is here. You need to go." She says, speaking from the door.

"I'm so sorry, I have to get going." You say, and they all nod in understanding. You sling your bag over your shoulder and start hugging them goodbye, but as you let go of Jungkook who is the last one, you suddenly say something that surprises them. "We should keep in touch."

"I can give you my number." Jungkook says immediately, pulling out his own phone so fast the others don't even see the movement. Jin has to look down in order to not burst out laughing right there, while the others do a slightly better job at hiding their reactions. "Or you give me yours." He unlocks his phone just in case, as he feels his ears starting to get hot. He doesn't care about embarrassment right now, this is more important.

You take the phone from his hand with a smile and quickly type your number, leaving it like that for him to save it himself. 

"[Y/N]—" Your assistant calls for you again.

"Sorry guys, gotta go." You say, smiling apologetically. "Text me so I can save your number." You tell Jungkook with a smile right before walking away, leaving him just standing there looking down at the phone on his hand.

Jimin has his own phone out, quickly copying the number for himself before saving it as [Y/N] 누나. 

"She gave me her number."  Jungkook says, looking down at the screen in a daze.

"Yes, she did."  Namjoon says, squeezing his shoulder while trying not to laugh at his reaction.

As they go get their things to finally go back to the hotel ,Jungkook's mind is focused only on the fact that he got your number, but not only that— he got it because you were the one who wanted to stay in touch with them.

He doesn't think he'll be able to sleep tonight.

While you relax and try to enjoy the car ride to the airport, your phone suddenly vibrates on your lap.

      Is this [Y/N]?  

It's a message from a number you don't recognize, so of course you assume it's Jungkook.     

      Yes. Who's this?

What you get in response is a selfie, but not from the person you were expecting.

It's Jimin. He's giving you a finger heart and has a puppy filter on, and you can't deny that your heart skips a beat at how adorable he looks.     

      Looks like someone stole my number.

Your phone vibrates immediately after, but this time it's a new number.

      [Y/N]?       Jungkook?

Much like Jimin, he sends you a selfie to confirm his identity— but unlike Jimin he has no filter on and is just looking at the camera with a grin instead. You feel your heart skip a beat again, and this time you send a picture of yourself in response, smiling as well.

Before you can even lock your phone it vibrates again, and this time it's Jimin.

Fuck. 

He just sent you a selfie of himself pouting.

     I don't steal :(

You have no doubts anymore. These boys will be the death of you.

This is the final chapter of the first arc of the story! Thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed it! 

[sheikah]

Folklore is a literally perfect album and I love it for a million reasons. But here is a compilation of my thoughts on my favorite lyrics that make it a Darklina anthem </3

I wouldn’t call myself a Swiftie and I don’t really blog about Taylor but I love this album so much. Bon Iver is one of my favorite artists of all time and I always listen to his music while writing. To me folklore has big Bon Iver energy haha (obviously, he collaborated on “exile”). Maybe it’s because I was finishing up my Darklina fic when folklore dropped but I just connected so many of Taylor’s lyrics and stories with them. I feel a lot of bitterness in this album that’s balanced, precariously, with hope. I’d say the same thing about canon!Darklina. You know, until Alina killed him :X

Anyway, here are my favorite bits!

If my wishes came true, it would’ve been you.

You know the greatest loves of all time are over now.

-”the 1″

This is textbook Alina to me. It reminds me of, “ Why don't you just admit that you wanted to belong to him? Why don't you admit that part of you still does?” The lyrics are like her bitter admission, an acceptance of her own feelings, but too late.

You drew stars around my scars, but now I’m bleeding.

-”cardigan”

I often see the fanon version of Aleksander as pure seduction and arrogance. I see those parts of him and they’re a huge part of his appeal, but I’m more interested in his vulnerability. We only get glimpses, but it’s definitely there. His long life has included a lot of misery, and he tells Alina in S&B that she’s “the first glimmer of hope that [he’s] had in a long time.” I think their relationship was helping to heal him, that he was starting to let go of some of his anger and bitterness. But when she left that all fell apart. Also, there’s so much star imagery in descriptions of and about Aleksander. 

You didn’t even hear me out. 

You never gave a warning sign. 

All this time, I never learned to read your mind.

-”exile”

“Exile” is a duet so it’s fitting that I feel like these lines apply equally to both Alina and Aleksander :( So much of the central conflict of the trilogy could have been avoided if they’d actually had a candid conversation about Aleksander’s plans and intentions. But Alina (understandably) leaves immediately after Baghra’s warning, and for most of the trilogy they’re just trading out who is deceiving who. Tbh this whole song works so well for them. There’s a lot of jealousy and betrayal laced through the words but I just picked my favorite bit.

Even on my worst day, did I deserve, babe

All the hell you gave me?

'Cause I loved you, I swear I loved you

'Til my dying day

I didn't have it in myself to go with grace

And you're the hero flying around, saving face

And if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake?

Cursing my name, wishing I stayed

Look at how my tears ricochet

We gather stones, never knowing what they'll mean

Some to throw, some to make a diamond ring

You know I didn't want to have to haunt you

But what a ghostly scene

You wear the same jewels that I gave you

As you bury me

And I can go anywhere I want

Anywhere I want, just not home

And you can aim for my heart, go for blood

But you would still miss me in your bones

And I still talk to you (When I'm screaming at the sky)

And when you can't sleep at night (You hear my stolen lullabies)

And so the battleships will sink beneath the waves

You had to kill me, but it killed you just the same

Cursing my name, wishing I stayed

You turned into your worst fears

And you're tossing out blame, drunk on this pain

Crossing out the good years

And you're cursing my name, wishing I stayed

Look at how my tears ricochet

-”my tears ricochet”

I’m pretty sure the whole fandom already connected this song to Aleksander. It’s just too easy, and too heartbreaking. I can’t even... It’s just so fitting? The bit about wearing the jewels (amplifiers???), cursing his name (”no one knew his name to curse or extol”). The whole thing, really. I’m in PAIN.

Look at this godforsaken mess that you made me

You showed me colors you know I can't see with anyone else

Look at this idiotic fool that you made me

You taught me a secret language I can't speak with anyone else

And you know damn well

For you, I would ruin myself

-”illicit affairs”

Alina and Aleksander’s connection was something unique that she always remarked upon every time they reunited, and it wasn’t something that could be replicated (not even when Leigh randomly made Mal an amplifier too :|). Alina also constantly blames herself for not seeing through Aleksander sooner in S&B, like he made a fool of her. The “ruin myself” line is so similar to the, “You could make me a better man,” “And you could make me a monster,” exchange. Alina can see the darkness that would come with loving him. In S&S she willingly faces death with him just to stop him, thinking they’ll die together. THE ANGST OF IT IS JUST *chef’s kiss* 

Time, curious time

Gave me no compasses, gave me no signs

Were there clues I didn't see?

And isn't it just so pretty to think

All along there was some

Invisible string

Tying you to me?

Something wrapped all of my past mistakes in barbed wire

Chains around my demons

Wool to brave the seasons

One single thread of gold

Tied me to you

-”invisible string”

This just screams Aleksander and his belief that he and Alina were destined to meet, that his long life was going to turn around when she came around :(

It's obvious that wanting me dead

Has really brought you two together

-”mad woman”

If this isn’t scorned Aleksander after finding Mal and Alina kissing in the forest near the stag in S&B then I don’t know what is.

But I’m a fire and I’ll keep your brittle heart warm

All these people think love's for show

But I would die for you in secret

I'd give you my sunshine, give you my best

But the rain is always gonna come if you're standin' with me

Would it be enough if I could never give you peace?

-”peace”

Alina knowing deep down she loves Aleksander but that it would never really work between them :(

My only one

My smoking gun

My eclipsed sun

This has broken me down

My twisted knife

My sleepless night

My winless fight

This has frozen my ground

Stood on the cliffside screaming, "Give me a reason"

Your faithless love's the only hoax I believe in

Don't want no other shade of blue but you

No other sadness in the world would do

My best laid plan

Your sleight of hand

My barren land

I am ash from your fire

My only one

My kingdom come undone

My broken drum

You have beaten my heart

-”hoax”

This one seriously just speaks for itself. I mean, “eclipsed sun?!” Taylor is a Darklina stan CONFIRMED.

Anyway absolutely no one asked for this and I’ve made myself sad typing it up but damn if I don’t absolutely love this pairing and love this album. I love pain D:

[ojerasgigantes]

LIST OF THE BEST FANFICS OF ALL TIME (according to me)

Since we are in quarentine and because of that I’ve reverted to my 2014 tumblr self and have started indulging in fanfics again, and since I’ve read ALOT of them, I decided to make a list and compile the best fanfiction I have ever read. This list is not in any type of ranking or affiliated to one specific fandom, so it’s a bit of a mess. (I will also direct you to the author’s AO3 page, and tumblr if I can find it).

Why do I think this fics are the BEST of the BEST? Well, either, they could be turned into a book and become a best seller by simply changing names, or I think the author has a HUGE potential in becoming a published author. 

Also if you guys think there are fics that are on the level of this ones please PLEASE rec them to me, I don’t care what fandom they are from.

THINGS HAVE GOTTEN CLOSER TO THE SUN by Starseas

Fandom: One Direction Pairings: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Liam Payne/Zayn Malik Genre/tags: Future fic, end of the world AU Rating: Mature Words: 49k   Summary:  When a solar flare is announced to end the world in twelve days, Harry reunites with the people that he used to know better than the back of his own hand.

Notes: I no longer read fanfiction involving real people, but this still remains on being one of the best fics I’ve ever read so I had to put it here. So, first of all, I LOVE this author, I used to follow her on tumblr and read everything she published. If I’m not mistaken her tumblr is deserted and she hasn0t posted anything in a long time, but I sincerily hope that she decided to move to writing and publish original works. Second of all, this fic is phenomenal, she somehow manges to portray a sense of despair under the whole romance plot. I cried in the end.

IRREPARABLE by aslightstep (WIP, abandoned?)

Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU) Pairings: Tony Stark/Steve Rogers Genre/tags: Fix it Fic, Canon compliant Rating: General Audiences Words: 131k Summary: Forgiveness is a journey, or so Tony was maybe told a long time ago. He doesn't know about any of that and doesn't particularly care to. In the wake of civil war, the Avengers remain, as do their enemies. And Tony Stark rebuilds, as always.He destroys the phone, he burns the letter. But he can't (he won't) eliminate Steve Rogers from his mind.

Notes: Ok, I know I shouldn’t be recommending any abandonded works, but I am recommending this one anyway because the characters depiction are on point!! Tony’s stuborness really shows and it’s all so... realistic? Like it could have actually happened in the comics or in the MCU. It’s a beautiful slow burn, like extremely slow burn, and I just wish the author didn’t left it behind.

THE KUBBLER-ROSS THEORY by antivenom

Fandom: The Amazing Spiderman, Deadpool Pairings: Gwen Stacy/Peter Parker, Peter Parker/Wade Wilson (barely)  Genre/tags: Drama, Canon compliant, Grief Recovery Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Words: 80k Summary: Peter deals with a loss that immobilizes him and permeates through every drawn breath. In which his grief is a visceral abstraction that he can touch, that he can feel. And in which, with a little help, with time, with acceptance, with anger, with sadness, with Wade, he learns how to live in a world without her.

Notes: The way this author describes and deals with the subject of grief is so real. It’s amazing the way she portrays Peter way of coping with his guilt, her death, and everything in his life. It is incomparable to any other fic or BOOK I have ever read. Also this is the first part of a series, so I’d definitely read it if you are into really good slowburn Spideypool.

BRIGHT HAIR ABOUT THE BONE by MissDisoriental

Fandom: Hannibal (TV) Pairings: Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter Genre/tags: A/B/O Dynamics, case fic Rating: Explicit Words: 484k Summary: In a world where omegas are little more than trophies to be bought and sold, Will Graham has done the unthinkable by escaping a forced bonding. Already in high demand as a profiler, Will's determined to find freedom on his own terms. For Hannibal Lecter the outlook is far more straightforward: a slow, systematic seduction of the most uniquely captivating omega he's ever encountered. As the shadow of a new and terrifying serial killer falls over Baltimore, the stage is set to redefine all accepted meanings of passion, temptation, horror and beauty – and to discover the ecstasy of a genuine love crime.

Notes: Yes, this fic is half a million words, no I don’t regret staying awake two days in a row just to finish it. Also, yes, I know it’s ABO. I usually don’t read ABO because I don’t like mpreg, but I made an exception for this one because it’s just that good. The way this author writes is so in sync with the series vibe. The descriptions, the way Hannibal speaks and acts, the way Will goes about the situation, this is just amazing.

TWIST AND SHOUT by gabriel and standbyme (@chubbyhawke)

Fandom: Supernatural Pairings: Castiel/Dean Winchester Genre/tags: 60′s AU, War Rating: Explicit Words: 97k Summary: What begins as a transforming love between Dean Winchester and Castiel Novak in the summer of 1965 quickly derails into something far more tumultuous when Dean is drafted in the Vietnam War. Though the two both voice their relationship is one where saying goodbye is never a real truth, their story becomes fraught with the tragedy of circumstance. In an era where homosexuality was especially vulnerable, Twist and Shout is the story of the love transcending time, returning over and over in its many forms, as faithful as the sea.

Notes: Obviously you don’t need an introduction to this one being that it’s the 2nd most kudosed work in AO3 and the most famous fanfiction in the Supernatural fandom. This fic BROKE me, like, actually full on sobbing BROKE me (my dad thought I was about to have a panic attack). It’s an understatement to say I recommend it. I don’t know where this authors are but I sincerly hope they become published one day.

MURDER WITH THE DEVIL AND FRIENDS by MindfulWrath (@mindfulwrath)

Fandom: Achievement Hunter, Rooster Teeth Pairings: Micheal Jones/Ryan Haywood Genre/tags: Western AU, Fake AH crew AU, Murder Mystery, horror Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Words: 205k Summary: Deputy Michael's been working in the little shithole town of Achievement City for a little over a year now. Things have been pretty decent so far (apart from that one creepy coworker), but they're about to get a lot more interesting, and a lot more dangerous.

Notes: Remember when I said i no longer read fanfics about real people? Well, this is, yet again, the exception. This fic just kept popping on my dashboard and after the 8th time I saw it I decided “fuck it”, and opened the link.  Also, remember when I said this ranking isn’t in any specific order? I lied because this is my favorite fanfiction of all time, and I think it’s the best one out there. This fic just get’s under your skin. You feel that somethings wrong from the begining, the mood it sets in just the first paragraph pulls you in and doens’t let you go until it’s done. I have NEVER got so much into any book or fanfic like I have gotten lost in this one. How is it possible that I manage to hate and love Ryan so much in this depiction of him?  This is also the first part of a trilogy called Devil’s Clockwork, and the rest is just as good as this one. Mindfulwrath, I hope you are reading this, and I hope you know how good of a writer you are, and I hope you publish some day, I’ll be the first one to buy anything you publish.

[saltlamp]

i was tagged by @florenepugh and @wintersoeldiers (thank you ashlyn and arya 🥰 sorry this is a couple days late) to answer the following 73 questions!

my answers are under the cut !!

on a scale of 1-10, how excited are you about life right now? honestly about a 5, i’m working on taking better care of myself and doing all my assignments but there’s nothing good going on

describe yourself in a hashtag? #burntout 

if you could do a love scene with anyone, who would it be? nobody 

if your life was a musical, what would the marquee say? one day at a time

what’s one thing people don’t know about you? i’ve never dyed my hair

what’s your wake up ritual? i snooze my alarm until i feel mentally awake, then wash my face and brush my teeth and drink some water, get dressed and make some coffee if i feel like i need it, then get started on whatever i have to do for the day

what’s your go to bed ritual? i wash my face and brush my teeth, then if i really need to sleep i’ll take a melatonin and put lavender into my diffuser

what’s your favorite time of day? midnight

your go to for having a good laugh? john mulaney netflix specials or [fictional characters as] vine compilations

dream country to visit? anywhere in europe, but i really want to go back to peru someday

what’s the biggest surprise you’ve ever had? i’m getting a car when i leave for college!!! a new one!!! i still can’t believe it

heels or flats/sneakers? mostly sneakers but sometimes heels make me feel badass. i’m the tallest girl in the room most of the time, so what’s a few more inches?

vintage or new? both

who do you want to write your obituary? leigh bardugo would make me seem a lot cooler than i really am and write my trauma in a beautifully sad way so... i’d love that. 

style icon? ashley from bestdressed on youtube!! (wait ashlyn SAME i’ve been subscribed to her for like three years and my style evolves with hers)

what are three things you cannot live without? my journal, my water bottle, and my airpods

what’s one ingredient you put in everything? ...salt? i don’t cook often

what 3 people living or dead would you want to make dinner for? i can’t cook so gordon ramsey, guy fieri, and my mom. their reactions would be hilarious in different ways 

what’s your biggest fear in life? abandonment but i should just learn to expect it at this point !! 

window or aisle seat? window

what’s your current tv obsession? i’m between shows at the moment so i’m rewatching she ra

favorite app? minimaList is an app i’ve used since early high school, it’s a to-do list that has a built in pomodoro timer and it’s the best thing in the world.

secret talent? not sleeping for days! that’s a joke i really should work on that... i can also move my ring finger on my right hand in a way that’s hard to describe unless you see it in person. 

most adventurous thing you’ve ever done in your life? i’ve hiked all sorts of ~dangerous~ places

how would you define yourself in three words? pensive, quiet, loyal

favorite piece of clothing you own? my mom’s high school track hoodie fits me perfectly and i wear it all the time. i’m wearing it now

a must have clothing item that everyone should have? a denim jacket or white sneakers 

a superpower you would want? weirdly specific but i’d want to read personalities, like myers-briggs types or enneagram, upon meeting a person. 

what’s inspiring you in life right now? due dates

best piece of advice you’ve received? make one good friend and everything else will fall into place

best advice you’d give your teenage self? they’re too occupied with themselves to be thinking about you

a book everyone should read? the harry potter series

what would you like to be remembered for? kindness/loyalty

how do you define beauty? outer beauty is somewhat subjective but confidence and intelligence are two universal marks of beauty for me

what do you love most about your body? i really like my legs!

best way to take a rest/decompress? do something familiar, like journaling or taking a shower or washing dishes

favorite place to view art? museums are some of my favorite places on the planet

if your life was a song, what would the title be? no idea. oh wait, that could actually be one

if you could master one instrument, what would it be? i used to play the piano as a kid and i was seen as some kind of prodigy because of my good ear but now i can barely play it, so i’d want to get back into that

if you had a tattoo, where would it be? behind my ear

dolphins or koalas? koalas

what’s your spirit animal? a cat, 100%

best gift you’ve ever received? this is stupid but my brother got me a talking kylo ren thingy for christmas in 2015, not knowing he was further fueling my future obsession with ben solo. to this day it’s one of my favorite useless possessions

best gift you’ve given? honestly anything i give my littlest brother because every time i give him a gift he acts like it’s the best thing he’s ever seen (he’s 11)

what’s your favorite board game? CLUE!!!

what’s your favorite color? lilac, periwinkle, or red

least favorite color? orange

diamond or pearls? diamonds

drugstore makeup or designer? drugstore makeup

blow-dry or air-dry? air-dry

pilates or yoga? yoga

coffee or tea? i go through phases, so both!

what’s the weirdest word in the english language? milk. just, think about it. milk. what the heck is that. read it some more. milk. milk. milk. 

dark chocolate or milk chocolate? dark 

stairs or elevators? stairs

summer or winter? winter!!!

you are stuck on an island, you can pick one food to eat forever without getting tired of it, what would you eat? chipotle burrito bowl

a dessert you don’t like? creme brulee

a skill you’re working on mastering? i’m working on getting better at drawing

best thing to happen to you today? i got to facetime my grandparents just a few minutes ago! i was so relieved to hear they’re doing well and nobody has covid in their nursing home :)

worst thing to happen to you today? i can’t move because of period cramps :)))))))))))

best compliment you’ve ever received? the most common compliment i get (and honestly my favorite) is that i’m a calming person to be around and very trustworthy

favorite smell? lavender, dirt (especially after rain), espresso grounds

hugs or kisses? hugs hugs hugs

if you made a documentary, would it be about? personality types, or maybe differences between modern cultures, or maybe medieval castles

last piece of content you consumed that made you cry? i recently watched an adam driver interview from 2017 and since i’m on my period and it’s sad ben solo hours, i cried

lipstick or lipgloss? lipgloss

sweet or savory? both

girl crush? zendaya and florence pugh

how do you know you’re in love? i’ve never been in romantic love before, but i can tell i love someone when i feel comfortable enough around them to be myself and talk about my problems

a song you can listen to on repeat? there’s one piece of classical music that i could listen to FOREVER and it WILL be playing at my funeral: albinoni’s adagio in G minor (with organ along with the other strings tho)

if you could switch lives with someone for a day, who would it be? i wouldn’t switch lives with anyone but if i could be something else for a day i’d be a voice actor or maybe a hermit living in the middle of nowhere centuries ago

what are you most excited for about this time in your life? graduating high school and starting university! i’m more nervously excited but still...

tagging: @omensgood @acrookedsaint @afterglowacoustic @sunstarkov if you guys want!

[knifehecker]

undertale day [long post]

it’s the 15th!! happy 4th birthday undertale!!! normally i try to do a little art or something but this year i decided to do something a little different. there’s a lot of content that’s become core tenets of my experience with the fandom -- changed the way i thought about the characters, how i engage with the fandom, opened my eyes to new ways of writing -- and i thought it’d be neat to compile some of those into one post to share with other people. so without further ado!!!

40-minute Deltarune Piano Medley - FaceImplosion [MUSIC]

ok, i know this is deltarune and not undertale, but this medley incorporates songs from both games so i’m gonna say it counts. and honestly, i could say a LOT about this piece!! i’ve watched and listened to a lot of ut/dr medleys, and this has to be the most lovingly crafted of its type that i’ve ever seen. Ever. a lot of care has been put into the order and combination of the songs (some funny, some sad, some mindblowing, ALL amazing) and the art is so good that every time i listen i find myself watching along. there’s a lot of easter eggs, especially for the attentive listener/watcher, and this medley deserves far more than the 6k views it’s gotten so far.

Undertale Album Project - Various Artists [MUSIC]

Songs From Mt Ebott is a collaborative album project that contains dozens of tracks from a score of different artists. i have a lot of favorite tracks from this album, not to mention the individual track art created for each, and if you’ve never heard of this project before, i really recommend giving it a listen! (FaceImplosion also did a piano track for this album, by the way, which i’m linking separately because it’s one of my aforementioned favorites.)

Chara - tigerblossom [MUSIC]

im not gonna lie. this was my favorite piece of fan music for a long time. it’s a medley mashing a few different songs together, short and sweet, but it comes together in such an incredibly heartfelt way at the end that whenever i end up listening to it i find myself wishing the track was about five minutes longer. they also have an underfell version of your best friend that i recommend giving a listen!

Photographs - FuriousPoplar [FIC]

in terms of “post-paci everyone lives au”s, there’s been a lot of ground covered by a lot of different people, and after a while the concept feels almost a bit...same-y? but this fic covers a sorely-needed conversation between an alive chara and asriel in a way that i’ve never seen approached by anyone else before. it’s cathartic, it’s extremely well written, and it doesn’t shy away from the ugly sides of trauma and recovery, which is so greatly appreciated. it also hit me...REALLY hard, which i think is a testament to how amazing this piece is.

Turn Back - foxsgloves [FIC]

i read this one pretty early on in my time in this fandom, and it’s continued to influence me long after. the premise: frisk keeps loading over the brief time asriel has his body in the epilogue, and simply spends time with him as they both prepare to move on towards the end. it’s sad. it’s cute. it’s amazing. it’s something i go back to reread sometimes late at night when i want to reread something friendly and familiar and a little sad. and its been one of my favorites ever since i read it.

You Wear Your Grief Like a Badge - Draikinator [FIC SERIES]

how do you even TALK about ywyglb? do i talk about nate’s impeccable voice in their writing? how true to character they are with the kids? how they set the scene of a post-pacifist world still shaking with the echoes of the past? the series starts with flowey taking frisk’s soul captive while chara and sans form an uneasy alliance in order to get them back, and then spirals into a tense, sweet, funny, awful, heartbreaking experience that reshaped how i viewed the boundaries of my own writing. draikinator’s writing has been and continues to be a huge inspiration to me, and i heartily recommend giving any of their stuff a try.

A Numbered List of Things That Aren't as Badass as They Sound (ex. Monsters, Suicide, Burning in Hell) - rosyy [FIC]

a brief glimpse into chara and asriel just before It Happens, While It Happens, When It Happens. the prose here is the sort of flowery delirious feverdream you’d expect from a kid dying of buttercup poisoning, and i love it to bits. i also want to mention a dr who crossover by the same author, because it has kris as the doctor and frisk as the stray they adopt, and its also the perfect antidote to the angst the first fic provides.

Risen Up (or, Of Fallen Children and Mountain Kin) - paradoxpangolin [FIC]

oh jeezums, how do i even start with this one? post-paci, frisk comes to the conclusion that the best way to ease the tensions between human and monsterkind is to put on a musical about their time in the underground!!!!.....except this leads to its own host of complications, and things get a bit Messy. this fic hasn’t updated in a bit, but it contains so much in its 140k of already published writing that i feel the need to urge you to read it anyway. i’m really partial to autistic frisks, and this fic has what’s got to be my favorite portrayal of that in ... probably the entire fandom? honestly, most (if not all) of the characters in this fic are autist, and it’s just. very good. i love.

you’re like a mirror, reflecting me - batterytriplicate [FIC]

a daemon au exploring what frisk and chara’s journeys might have been like with the extra distinction between monster dust and daemon dust. i completely forgot about this fic until i was trawling through my ao3 history for this post, and i’m really really glad i found it again. i think i was in the middle of trying to figure out this exact au when i first found this fic, and it did everything i was thinking of (and more) so much better that i felt more than content leaving it at that. so if you like his dark materials and want to see a fantastic little daemon au, give this a shot!

soulless-pacifist - vsemily [ASK BLOG]

soulless-pacifist..... if you’ve never heard of this askblog, you’re in for a treat. i wasn’t with it from the very beginning, but i started reading towards the  middle of its main story arc and stuck with it to the end, and suffice it to say, it has to be my favorite fandom askblog to date, purely for how well its written, how well its drawn, and how it’s one of the....only askblogs i’ve ever seen come not only to a FULL conclusion, but to a satisfying one! the mun also worked with a programmer to create a fangame for its final arc, which is so above and beyond that im still kind of in disbelief. in short: this askblog followed frisk and their passenger after the events of a soulless pacifist route, and continues on with them as they grow together and find their place with a whole host of twist and turns in store.                also, memes.

Shine your light with me, chase all the dark away - FancifulRivers [FIC]

this au follows frisk and chara after the events of the game. unlike most post-paci runs, though, chara has their own body back, while they and frisk are hiding back in mt ebott after the monsters have left to avoid the complications of being runaways and also.... incredible guilt and trauma. things don’t really work out like that, though, and i really recommend this read. fancifulrivers has also been an incredibly prolific writer who’s uploaded a lot of really good ut fics, so this is a great starting point to jump off of for their other stuff!

repercussions - proximally [FIC]

this fic... i think this one fic is the one that’s impacted me the most during my early days of this fandom. it’s short, and sad, and is a twist on the soulless pacifist ending that i was left thinking about literally for months after i first read it. instead of saying any more and risking spoiling it, i’ll just leave the author’s desc:  “You made a mistake, and you pay for it with your life. “

The Great Boondoggle - Masu_Trout [FIC]

the premise of this fic is pretty simple. post paci, frisk is walking home. they come across a Bad Guy. hijinks ensue. but what sets apart this fic from others for me is the way frisk is written here. when this fic was published in early 2016, most frisks i came across were the...sweet harmless woobies that were pretty typical from the fandom. this is one of the first frisks i came across that was kind of mean, and a little cold, and had very obviously had a long upward climb to being the sort of person who chose mercy instead of fight. this portrayal is a lot more common nowadays, which i’m super grateful for, but since this is one of the first fics i came across that really nailed this portrayal, i felt i should leave this here. i also recommend their pokemon/ut au, which is toriel and frisk centric and i also love to bits.

and....well, i was gonna say “that’s it”, but i honestly had to cut quite a few things from this list to keep it from stretching the dash too much. there’s been a lot of incredible content created by this fandom over the years, and this is by no means a comprehensive list of my favorites. but these are some of the ones that impacted me in a really special way, and if you were kind enough to check them out and maybe even liked them, please consider leaving a kind comment for the creator! if you’re the author of one of these pieces reading this right now: thank you so much! im looking forward to finding even more favorites in this year and the next.

[flourchildwrites]

While I still have to read Bound By(sooon) how about a fictober prompt? If you dont have anything planned yet, either "fight" or "trapped" for royai? Thanks! Im loving what Ive read so far!

Witch, Please!  Fictober 2019  (13/31)

A multi-fandom Fictober prompt compilation.  Your wish is my command, but be careful what you ask for.  You just might get it.

For @dvltgr

Prompt:   “Fight” from Writetober 2019 Prompt List

Fandom:  Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga, Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types

Relationship/Pairing:  Riza Hawkeye/Roy Mustang

Genre:  Pre-Canon, Young!Royai

Rating:  Teen And Up Audiences

Word Count:  1,726 words

Read on AO3

Dinner at Hawkeye Manor was a pleasant affair for those who were accustomed to long stretches of loaded silence. After three years of dining in a conversation vacuum, Roy Mustang had gotten used to it.

Berthold Hawkeye took his meals with his nose pressed between the pages of the newspaper while his daughter balanced the checkbook. Clinking silverware and chiming glass accompanied the pungent smell of printer’s ink as the tip of Riza’s pencil scratched against the household’s ledger. The set of the fourteen-year old’s blonde brow spoke volumes about the solvency of the Hawkeye estate, and judging from recent observations, Roy braced himself for another hard winter. He wrote home to his Aunt Chris, asking for sweet treats, a thick pair of gloves and extra blankets to see him through, intending to put the letter to post the next morning before his lessons.

“What are you doing?”

Riza’s voice was not entirely jarring, but the sudden urgency of the question caught Roy off guard. He flinched, nearly jumped out of his skin and pivoted in his chair, staring back at the knock-kneed tomboy as if he had seen a ghost. Admittedly, she had been looking paler lately; the threadbare quality of her clothes emphasized that fact.

“Writing a letter to my Aunt. Why?”

“The one who lives in Central?”

“Yes.” Roy supposed he hadn’t quite explained that he only had one aunt, that he knew of at least, but wasn’t about to start now. “Why?” Roy’s voice carried an edge that he hadn’t quite anticipated.

“Sorry,” he added, apologetically, “I’ve got a lot to do here, and you startled me. Is there something you need, Riza?”

Reluctance was not an emotion that Riza wore all that often or all that well. She fiddled with the frayed end of her baby blue sweater, refusing to meet his eyes as she spoke. “You should go into town to mail that letter this evening so it’ll go out on the morning train,” she said. “I’ll set aside some dinner for you. I’ll even give you an extra slice of dessert. It’s peach cobbler.”

“That will take almost an hour, and I don’t want an extra slice of dessert,” Roy retorted. “I can just give the letter to the postman tomorrow morning. One day won’t make a difference.”

Still stroking the hem of her clothing, Riza’s tone became impassioned. She looked up to meet the gaze of her father’s apprentice. “It might freeze tomorrow night, and the mail to Central could be delayed for weeks. Could you please, Roy? I- I need to talk to my father, and I think it’d be best if you were out.”

Roy opened his mouth to argue but stopped as the puzzle pieces fit together, forming a more precise picture in his mind. Riza needed to speak with her father, which she never did. She’d made Professor Hawkeye’s favorite food, peach cobbler, which they rarely could afford. Riza was offering Roy an extra slice of dessert - possible her own - because it was the only bargaining chip she had to offer.

He’d be an ass to refuse her request at this point. Aunt Chris had taught him better than that.

“Fine,” he hissed through gritted teeth. Roy glanced out the window as the wind gusted through the trees, knocking burnish yellow, brown and orange leaves from the branches. He shivered at the thought of a long, lonely walk down the dusty country road.

…

Roy returned later than intended with frozen toes and cheeks red and raw from the cold. As he stepped into the entryway and stamped his boots against the mat, Roy heard raised voices coming from their small kitchen, the place he usually ate dinner.

“I give you food. I give you shelter. I provide for a first-rate education, and what has that school imposed on us! The clothes on your back are fine as they are, and I should write that school an impassioned letter to protest non-academic endeavors. End of discussion.” Berthold’s raised voice loomed through the wooden walls of the dilapidated country home.

“All the other girls enjoy the cotillion,” Riza stressed. Her tone was high and shrill. “I don’t want to ruin it for everyone, but the nice dress I have doesn’t fit. I asked my teacher if I could help prepare and serve the food again with the lower grades, but she said no. I’m to be judged on table etiquette this year and dancing next year. The cotillion is one-sixth of my overall grade, Father!”

“Table etiquette and dancing!” Berthold scoffed. “I’m not going to allow you to spend a quarter of our monthly budget on frivolities such as shoes and dresses that you’ll wear once. What you have is sufficient.”

“Please, Father. I already tried letting out the seams. See? The hem is too far above my knees, and my chest-”

Roy crept close to the doorframe. He walked softly to muffle the sound of his footsteps against the hardwood and pressed his back against the wall. The apprentice stilled his breath to hear his master’s low, cruel utterance.

“Maybe you should eat less. It fit your mother fine when she was your age.”

There was a beat of silence as the weight of his words settled and wreaked their havoc. Roy’s fists tightened. His teeth clenched, and he heard the soft shuffling of fabric and shoes against the kitchen’s checkerboard floor as Riza darted into the hall.

He caught sight of her as she passed and was surprised to find Riza wearing a lacey white dress gone yellow with age. The delicate layers sat too high on her hips, and the button-up back was taut.  The effect strained the natural curves of her figure in places where the garment should have comfortably fallen. In the split-second their eyes met, she turned away and darted up the stairs toward her room.

As Roy followed in Riza’s footsteps, he stopped off at the small apprentice dormitory to discard his jacket, boots and scarf but caught sight of the dinner on his desk before he could peel the layers from his skin. As promised, there sat an extra serving a peach cobbler and a note thanking him for his discretion. The sight hurt Roy’s heart just as much as the soft sobs coming from the other side of the hallway.

He sat down to write another letter to his Aunt Chris and told himself that he didn’t mind two brisk walks through the bitter cold on the same evening.

…

If the crates stacked in the entryway of Hawkeye Manor bothered Berthold, he paid them little mind. The postman begrudgingly lugged them in from his wagon with sideways remarks about the size and weight that Roy pretended not to hear. It took the young man four trips to carry the wooden boxes to his second-story dormitory and twenty minutes more to recover from his exertions. But the content of crates far surpassed any expectations he might have had when he asked his Aunt if his sisters had a nice dress to spare.

Chris Mustang’s note was, as she, straightforward and to the point.

Roy-boy,

A dress is useless without shoes, coats and accessories. Your sisters have no need of these as they are from last year. See that they find a good home.

Aunt Chris

All that was left was to wait for Riza to return home from school.

…

“Oh, Riza,” Roy called out, pleased as a preening peacock, “could you come here a moment. I have a favor to ask.”

Roy waited with growing impatience for her to turn the corner and smiled like the Cheshire cat when her indignant scowl fell, quickly replaced by a look of wonder. At least a dozen dresses and coats of all colors and styles were laid over the two vacant beds in the dormitory. An entire jewelry box of ornate rings, bejeweled earnings and long strands of pearls sat casually on Roy’s nightstand. And in the corner of the room, a large crate of purses and high-heeled shoes sat, still waiting to be unpacked.

“My silly sisters thought you might be interested in some of their old dresses,” he started. “And I told them that, of course, you wouldn’t want last year’s styles, but they insisted, and here we are. Might you consider taking these off my hands? I’d hate to send them back.”

Riza approached the dresses with equal parts hesitation and fascination, running the back of her hand along the frilly sleeve of a shimmering, soft pink dress and burying her fingers in a fur-lined coat that, Roy realized, once belonged to his own Aunt. Then, suddenly, her awe turned sour as she shook her head to rid her eyes of the marvels before them.

“I can’t accept these, Roy,” she said sadly. “We can’t afford-”

“Oh, please,” Roy interrupted. He’d prepared himself for this particular argument. “No one would be caught dead in these clothes in Central City. And I realize it will be a hassle to take them in, but I’d hate to have to haul these to the post office. It’s so far away, and the weather is absolutely terrible this time of year.”

Roy hoped against hope that, just this once, she wouldn’t be so stubborn, and he was rewarded by a teary-eyes gaze that caught the reflection of the many metallic bobbles glinting in her new jewelry box. Riza gathered the clothing in her arms and looked at Roy with a heartbreaking grin that stretched the corners of her heart-shaped face.

“Thank you,” was all she said in reply.

Through the lump in his throat, Roy grumbled his own response. “Don’t mention it.”

He couldn’t go to the dance with her and probably would not spend another winter under Berthold’s tutelage. Neither could Roy change his master’s mind once it had been made up nor lessen the burden of her lonely life. But if he could play some small part in a brief moment of happiness, the young man decided he would take that chance, if not for altruistic reasons then selfish ones. If only so that when Riza would smile, all decked out in her finery as she departed for the cotillion, Roy would know he was responsible for it.

He would fight for her well-being, even after she herself had surrendered.

A/N:  Thank you so much for the prompt. I hope you like it even though I took royai and made it young!royai.  Today, I woke up thinking about my grandmother and a particular conversation she had with my father about a prom dress.  So, I guess this one it a little for her as well.  Feel free to send me pairing requests for particular prompts (Fictober or original) via my tumblr, and if you read something you like, don’t hesitate to let me know. Your kudos, bookmarks, subscriptions, comments, likes and reblogs make my day!