#one direction premades

[silhouettecrow]

365 Days of Writing Prompts: Day 345

Adjective: Helpless

Noun: Poppy

Definitions for those who need/want them:

Helpless: unable to defend oneself or to act without help; uncontrollable

Poppy: a herbaceous plant with showy flowers, milky sap, and rounded seed capsules, and many poppies contain alkaloids and are a source of drugs such as morphine and codeine

[mostlysignssomeportents]

The reason you can’t buy a car is the same reason that your health insurer let hackers dox you

On July 14, I'm giving the closing keynote for the fifteenth HACKERS ON PLANET EARTH, in QUEENS, NY. Happy Bastille Day! On July 20, I'm appearing in CHICAGO at Exile in Bookville.

In 2017, Equifax suffered the worst data-breach in world history, leaking the deep, nonconsensual dossiers it had compiled on 148m Americans and 15m Britons, (and 19k Canadians) into the world, to form an immortal, undeletable reservoir of kompromat and premade identity-theft kits:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2017_Equifax_data_breach

Equifax knew the breach was coming. It wasn't just that their top execs liquidated their stock in Equifax before the announcement of the breach – it was also that they ignored years of increasingly urgent warnings from IT staff about the problems with their server security.

Things didn't improve after the breach. Indeed, the 2017 Equifax breach was the starting gun for a string of more breaches, because Equifax's servers didn't just have one fubared system – it was composed of pure, refined fubar. After one group of hackers breached the main Equifax system, other groups breached other Equifax systems, over and over, and over:

https://finance.yahoo.com/news/equifax-password-username-admin-lawsuit-201118316.html

Doesn't this remind you of Boeing? It reminds me of Boeing. The spectacular 737 Max failures in 2018 weren't the end of the scandal. They weren't even the scandal's start – they were the tipping point, the moment in which a long history of lethally defective planes "breached" from the world of aviation wonks and into the wider public consciousness:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_accidents_and_incidents_involving_the_Boeing_737

Just like with Equifax, the 737 Max disasters tipped Boeing into a string of increasingly grim catastrophes. Each fresh disaster landed with the grim inevitability of your general contractor texting you that he's just opened up your ceiling and discovered that all your joists had rotted out – and that he won't be able to deal with that until he deals with the termites he found last week, and that they'll have to wait until he gets to the cracks in the foundation slab from the week before, and that those will have to wait until he gets to the asbestos he just discovered in the walls.

Drip, drip, drip, as you realize that the most expensive thing you own – which is also the thing you had hoped to shelter for the rest of your life – isn't even a teardown, it's just a pure liability. Even if you razed the structure, you couldn't start over, because the soil is full of PCBs. It's not a toxic asset, because it's not an asset. It's just toxic.

Equifax isn't just a company: it's infrastructure. It started out as an engine for racial, political and sexual discrimination, paying snoops to collect gossip from nosy neighbors, which was assembled into vast warehouses full of binders that told bank officers which loan applicants should be denied for being queer, or leftists, or, you know, Black:

https://jacobin.com/2017/09/equifax-retail-credit-company-discrimination-loans

This witch-hunts-as-a-service morphed into an official part of the economy, the backbone of the credit industry, with a license to secretly destroy your life with haphazardly assembled "facts" about your life that you had the most minimal, grudging right to appeal (or even see). Turns out there are a lot of customers for this kind of service, and the capital markets showered Equifax with the cash needed to buy almost all of its rivals, in mergers that were waved through by a generation of Reaganomics-sedated antitrust regulators.

There's a direct line from that acquisition spree to the Equifax breach(es). First of all, companies like Equifax were early adopters of technology. They're a database company, so they were the crash-test dummies for ever generation of database. These bug-riddled, heavily patched systems were overlaid with subsequent layers of new tech, with new defects to be patched and then overlaid with the next generation.

These systems are intrinsically fragile, because things fall apart at the seams, and these systems are all seams. They are tech-debt personified. Now, every kind of enterprise will eventually reach this state if it keeps going long enough, but the early digitizers are the bow-wave of that coming infopocalypse, both because they got there first and because the bottom tiers of their systems are composed of layers of punchcards and COBOL, crumbling under the geological stresses of seventy years of subsequent technology.

The single best account of this phenomenon is the British Library's postmortem of their ransomware attack, which is also in the running for "best hard-eyed assessment of how fucked things are":

https://www.bl.uk/home/british-library-cyber-incident-review-8-march-2024.pdf

There's a reason libraries, cities, insurance companies, and other giant institutions keep getting breached: they started accumulating tech debt before anyone else, so they've got more asbestos in the walls, more sagging joists, more foundation cracks and more termites.

That was the starting point for Equifax – a company with a massive tech debt that it would struggle to pay down under the most ideal circumstances.

Then, Equifax deliberately made this situation infinitely worse through a series of mergers in which it bought dozens of other companies that all had their own version of this problem, and duct-taped their failing, fucked up IT systems to its own. The more seams an IT system has, the more brittle and insecure it is. Equifax deliberately added so many seams that you need to be able to visualized additional spatial dimensions to grasp them – they had fractal seams.

But wait, there's more! The reason to merge with your competitors is to create a monopoly position, and the value of a monopoly position is that it makes a company too big to fail, which makes it too big to jail, which makes it too big to care. Each Equifax acquisition took a piece off the game board, making it that much harder to replace Equifax if it fucked up. That, in turn, made it harder to punish Equifax if it fucked up. And that meant that Equifax didn't have to care if it fucked up.

Which is why the increasingly desperate pleas for more resources to shore up Equifax's crumbling IT and security infrastructure went unheeded. Top management could see that they were steaming directly into an iceberg, but they also knew that they had a guaranteed spot on the lifeboats, and that someone else would be responsible for fishing the dead passengers out of the sea. Why turn the wheel?

That's what happened to Boeing, too: the company acquired new layers of technical complexity by merging with rivals (principally McDonnell-Douglas), and then starved the departments that would have to deal with that complexity because it was being managed by execs whose driving passion was to run a company that was too big to care. Those execs then added more complexity by chasing lower costs by firing unionized, competent, senior staff and replacing them with untrained scabs in jurisdictions chosen for their lax labor and environmental enforcement regimes.

(The biggest difference was that Boeing once had a useful, high-quality product, whereas Equifax started off as an irredeemably terrible, if efficient, discrimination machine, and grew to become an equally terrible, but also ferociously incompetent, enterprise.)

This is the American story of the past four decades: accumulate tech debt, merge to monopoly, exponentially compound your tech debt by combining barely functional IT systems. Every corporate behemoth is locked in a race between the eventual discovery of its irreparable structural defects and its ability to become so enmeshed in our lives that we have to assume the costs of fixing those defects. It's a contest between "too rotten to stand" and "too big to care."

Remember last February, when we all discovered that there was a company called Change Healthcare, and that they were key to processing virtually every prescription filled in America? Remember how we discovered this? Change was hacked, went down, ransomed, and no one could fill a scrip in America for more than a week, until they paid the hackers $22m in Bitcoin?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2024_Change_Healthcare_ransomware_attack

How did we end up with Change Healthcare as the linchpin of the entire American prescription system? Well, first Unitedhealthcare became the largest health insurer in America by buying all its competitors in a series of mergers that comatose antitrust regulators failed to block. Then it combined all those other companies' IT systems into a cosmic-scale dog's breakfast that barely ran. Then it bought Change and used its monopoly power to ensure that every Rx ran through Change's servers, which were part of that asbestos-filled, termite-infested, crack-foundationed, sag-joisted teardown. Then, it got hacked.

United's execs are the kind of execs on a relentless quest to be too big to care, and so they don't care. Which is why their they had to subsequently announce that they had suffered a breach that turned the complete medical histories of one third of Americans into immortal Darknet kompromat that is – even now – being combined with breach data from Equifax and force-fed to the slaves in Cambodia and Laos's pig-butchering factories:

https://www.cnn.com/2024/05/01/politics/data-stolen-healthcare-hack/index.html

Those slaves are beaten, tortured, and punitively raped in compounds to force them to drain the life's savings of everyone in Canada, Australia, Singapore, the UK and Europe. Remember that they are downstream of the forseeable, inevitable IT failures of companies that set out to be too big to care that this was going to happen.

Failures like Ticketmaster's, which flushed 500 million users' personal information into the identity-theft mills just last month. Ticketmaster, you'll recall, grew to its current scale through (you guessed it), a series of mergers en route to "too big to care" status, that resulted in its IT systems being combined with those of Ticketron, Live Nation, and dozens of others:

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/05/31/business/ticketmaster-hack-data-breach.html

But enough about that. Let's go car-shopping!

Good luck with that. There's a company you've never heard. It's called CDK Global. They provide "dealer management software." They are a monopolist. They got that way after being bought by a private equity fund called Brookfield. You can't complete a car purchase without their systems, and their systems have been hacked. No one can buy a car:

https://www.cnn.com/2024/06/27/business/cdk-global-cyber-attack-update/index.html

Writing for his BIG newsletter, Matt Stoller tells the all-too-familiar story of how CDK Global filled the walls of the nation's auto-dealers with the IT equivalent of termites and asbestos, and lays the blame where it belongs: with a legal and economics establishment that wanted it this way:

https://www.thebignewsletter.com/p/a-supreme-court-justice-is-why-you

The CDK story follows the Equifax/Boeing/Change Healthcare/Ticketmaster pattern, but with an important difference. As CDK was amassing its monopoly power, one of its execs, Dan McCray, told a competitor, Authenticom founder Steve Cottrell that if he didn't sell to CDK that he would "fucking destroy" Authenticom by illegally colluding with the number two dealer management company Reynolds.

Rather than selling out, Cottrell blew the whistle, using Cottrell's own words to convince a district court that CDK had violated antitrust law. The court agreed, and ordered CDK and Reynolds – who controlled 90% of the market – to continue to allow Authenticom to participate in the DMS market.

Dealers cheered this on: CDK/Reynolds had been steadily hiking prices, while ingesting dealer data and using it to gouge the dealers on additional services, while denying dealers access to their own data. The services that Authenticom provided for $35/month cost $735/month from CDK/Reynolds (they justified this price hike by saying they needed the additional funds to cover the costs of increased information security!).

CDK/Reynolds appealed the judgment to the 7th Circuit, where a panel of economists weighed in. As Stoller writes, this panel included monopoly's most notorious (and well-compensated) cheerleader, Frank Easterbrook, and the "legendary" Democrat Diane Wood. They argued for CDK/Reynolds, demanding that the court release them from their obligations to share the market with Authenticom:

https://caselaw.findlaw.com/court/us-7th-circuit/1879150.html

The 7th Circuit bought the argument, overturning the lower court and paving the way for the CDK/Reynolds monopoly, which is how we ended up with one company's objectively shitty IT systems interwoven into the sale of every car, which meant that when Russian hackers looked at that crosseyed, it split wide open, allowing them to halt auto sales nationwide. What happens next is a near-certainty: CDK will pay a multimillion dollar ransom, and the hackers will reward them by breaching the personal details of everyone who's ever bought a car, and the slaves in Cambodian pig-butchering compounds will get a fresh supply of kompromat.

But on the plus side, the need to pay these huge ransoms is key to ensuring liquidity in the cryptocurrency markets, because ransoms are now the only nondiscretionary liability that can only be settled in crypto:

https://locusmag.com/2022/09/cory-doctorow-moneylike/

When the 7th Circuit set up every American car owner to be pig-butchered, they cited one of the most important cases in antitrust history: the 2004 unanimous Supreme Court decision in Verizon v Trinko:

https://www.oyez.org/cases/2003/02-682

Trinko was a case about whether antitrust law could force Verizon, a telcoms monopolist, to share its lines with competitors, something it had been ordered to do and then cheated on. The decision was written by Antonin Scalia, and without it, Big Tech would never have been able to form. Scalia and Trinko gave us the modern, too-big-to-care versions of Google, Meta, Apple, Microsoft and the other tech baronies.

In his Trinko opinion, Scalia said that "possessing monopoly power" and "charging monopoly prices" was "not unlawful" – rather, it was "an important element of the free-market system." Scalia – writing on behalf of a unanimous court! – said that fighting monopolists "may lessen the incentive for the monopolist…to invest in those economically beneficial facilities."

In other words, in order to prevent monopolists from being too big to care, we have to let them have monopolies. No wonder Trinko is the Zelig of shitty antitrust rulings, from the decision to dismiss the antitrust case against Facebook and Apple's defense in its own ongoing case:

https://www.ftc.gov/system/files/documents/cases/073_2021.06.28_mtd_order_memo.pdf

Trinko is the origin node of too big to care. It's the reason that our whole economy is now composed of "infrastructure" that is made of splitting seams, asbestos, termites and dry rot. It's the reason that the entire automotive sector became dependent on companies like Reynolds, whose billionaire owner intentionally and illegally destroyed evidence of his company's crimes, before going on to commit the largest tax fraud in American history:

https://www.wsj.com/articles/billionaire-robert-brockman-accused-of-biggest-tax-fraud-in-u-s-history-dies-at-81-11660226505

Trinko begs companies to become too big to care. It ensures that they will exponentially increase their IT debt while becoming structurally important to whole swathes of the US economy. It guarantees that they will underinvest in IT security. It is the soil in which pig butchering grew.

It's why you can't buy a car.

Now, I am fond of quoting Stein's Law at moments like this: "anything that can't go on forever will eventually stop." As Stoller writes, after two decades of unchallenged rule, Trinko is looking awfully shaky. It was substantially narrowed in 2023 by the 10th Circuit, which had been briefed by Biden's antitrust division:

https://law.justia.com/cases/federal/appellate-courts/ca10/22-1164/22-1164-2023-08-21.html

And the cases of 2024 have something going for them that Trinko lacked in 2004: evidence of what a fucking disaster Trinko is. The wrongness of Trinko is so increasingly undeniable that there's a chance it will be overturned.

But it won't go down easy. As Stoller writes, Trinko didn't emerge from a vacuum: the economic theories that underpinned it come from some of the heroes of orthodox economics, like Joseph Schumpeter, who is positively worshipped. Schumpeter was antitrust's OG hater, who wrote extensively that antitrust law didn't need to exist because any harmful monopoly would be overturned by an inevitable market process dictated by iron laws of economics.

Schumpeter wrote that monopolies could only be sustained by "alertness and energy" – that there would never be a monopoly so secure that its owner became too big to care. But he went further, insisting that the promise of attaining a monopoly was key to investment in great new things, because monopolists had the economic power that let them plan and execute great feats of innovation.

The idea that monopolies are benevolent dictators has pervaded our economic tale for decades. Even today, critics who deplore Facebook and Google do so on the basis that they do not wield their power wisely (say, to stamp out harassment or disinformation). When confronted with the possibility of breaking up these companies or replacing them with smaller platforms, those critics recoil, insisting that without Big Tech's scale, no one will ever have the power to accomplish their goals:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/18/urban-wildlife-interface/#combustible-walled-gardens

But they misunderstand the relationship between corporate power and corporate conduct. The reason corporations accumulate power is so that they can be insulated from the consequences of the harms they wreak upon the rest of us. They don't inflict those harms out of sadism: rather, they do so in order to externalize the costs of running a good system, reaping the profits of scale while we pay its costs.

The only reason to accumulate corporate power is to grow too big to care. Any corporation that amasses enough power that it need not care about us will not care about it. You can't fix Facebook by replacing Zuck with a good unelected social media czar with total power over billions of peoples' lives. We need to abolish Zuck, not fix Zuck.

Zuck is not exceptional: there were a million sociopaths whom investors would have funded to monopolistic dominance if he had balked. A monopoly like Facebook has a Zuck-shaped hole at the top of its org chart, and only someone Zuck-shaped will ever fit through that hole.

Our whole economy is now composed of companies with sociopath-shaped holes at the tops of their org chart. The reason these companies can only be run by sociopaths is the same reason that they have become infrastructure that is crumbling due to sociopathic neglect. The reckless disregard for the risk of combining companies is the source of the market power these companies accumulated, and the market power let them neglect their systems to the point of collapse.

This is the system that Schumpeter, and Easterbrook, and Wood, and Scalia – and the entire Supreme Court of 2004 – set out to make. The fact that you can't buy a car is a feature, not a bug. The pig-butcherers, wallowing in an ocean of breach data, are a feature, not a bug. The point of the system was what it did: create unimaginable wealth for a tiny cohort of the worst people on Earth without regard to the collapse this would provoke, or the plight of those of us trapped and suffocating in the rubble.

Support me this summer on the Clarion Write-A-Thon and help raise money for the Clarion Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers' Workshop!

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/06/28/dealer-management-software/#antonin-scalia-stole-your-car

Image: Cryteria (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:HAL9000.svg

CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en

[sturnioz]

Ok but imagine fratbro chris with shy!reader

"well, uh, aren't you quiet... like a — like a fuckin' mouse or some shit," chris scoffs with a slight shake of his head, his index and middle finger rubbing the bridge of his nose that scrunches up, sniffing — little white granules tickling the insides.

your teeth bite down nervously on your plush bottom lip, standing in the corner of the living-room, eyes flitting around in search of your friend who had disappeared a moment ago to search for her earring that she had lost the night before during a frat party.

you didn't go, of course.

stuff like this wasn't your scene — the drugs, the booze, the loudness, the crowds. you preferred the quiet night life, sitting at home in your room, watching your favourite shows with a pint of ice-cream, or doing something that you enjoy.

but you offered to drive your friend to the fraternity house when she had blown up your phone this morning, begging and pleading for you to give her a ride when she realised that one of her earrings were missing and that she was desperate to find it — although you're beginning to think she came here for a different reason too when she giggled at the sight of a frat brother, his arm winding around her shoulder as he lead her up the stairs to 'find the missing earring'.

"you jus' gonna stand there the entire time or what, kid?" chris' voice breaks you out of your head, and you blink at him, parting your mouth to speak but closing it once the front door swings open, revealing more frat brothers who come tumbling in, sweaty and gross.

you clutch your jacket tighter to your frame, ducking your head low and keeping your eyes glued to the floor as they walk closer, conversing about something you try to zone out when you hear their crass words — but that doesn't last when you see their shoes stop in front of you in your peripheral vision, and one of the boys addresses you.

"what are you doin' in here?"

you speak up, tone quiet, soft. "waiting for a friend.."

"a friend?" he echoes, a smirk slithering on his lips. "well, while you're waitin' for your friend, why don't you—"

"leave her alone," chris interrupts, and your head snaps towards his direction. he's now rolling a few joints on the coffee table, putting the premades to one side. his eyes flit up to you for a brief moment before darting to the empty space beside him on the sofa, and then back to you. "sit down."

you swallow thickly, your feet carrying you towards his direction and you hear the frat brothers mumble something under their breath before disappearing elsewhere. you sit down softly on the sofa, sinking into the cushiony surface with your hands in your lap, nervously twisting the rings on your fingers as you watch him.

"you're, uh, you're too quiet 'n it kinda freaks me out, if i'm bein' honest," he suddenly admits, licking his lips before lathering his tongue across the paper with one clean stripe. "you look outta place in here — noticeable as shit."

you're a little taken aback by how blunt and honest he is — also a little embarrassed because was it that obvious? you being so out of place in a fraternity house? it also didn't feel great that he said that you freaked him out... that was a stab in the chest.

"you're also kinda cute, though," chris reveals and your head immediately raises at that, the praise making you feel a little warm in the face. "got this uh, this mouse or bunny vibe goin' for ya, y'know? some type of cute, small animal — i don't know."

staring at him, you notice how his pupils are dilated and you assume that his rambling is from him being so amped up from whatever drug is coursing through his system, and your gaze darts down to the table, watching his expert fingers roll.

"you ever take a toke before?" he asks you as he holds out the joint and you shake your head, eliciting a hum from him, "good, good — don't let this shit ruin your pretty lil' head, alright? keep yourself all pure n' innocent up here."

he taps two fingers to your temples and you can't help but nod, glancing at him through wispy lashes and he grins, tonguing at his cheek as his head tilts to the side, watching you.

"yeah... i think you're gonna be my favourite, bunny."

© STURNIOZ

[chaos-in-deepspace]

Love and Deepspace 2.0 Live Overview

Okay so the live ended about 20 minutes ago and I watched (and recorded) the entire thing! We have confirmation that this will be released on July 15...so we have a little over a week! So here's the biggest highlights of the live...however first the new codes!

DEEPSPACE2 - 200 Diamonds, 20,000 Gold, 200 Energy

20240715 - 10 Empyrean Wishes

Portrait Mode

We're getting a new photo mode over in the Photobooth! Portrait Mode will be featuring:

Ability to move the camera around out characters. We can finally have more angles and full body shots.

We can move the posed characters around the screen so they're not right next to one another. This means we get to make cute little scenes guys and I am so hyped over this one.

Dynamic lighting and clothes! Not only can we choose were the light source in the photo is as well as the tones of it, we also have clothes that move with the wind directions that we can choose from!

More backgrounds, and from the looks of it the backgrounds will also be dynamic and move!

Premade photo templates will be available in case you're not super creative or good with photo booth modes, and we can also make our own templates to use later.

Abyssal Chaos

We're going to be getting an entirely new mode over in the "battle" section and oh boy does this one look super interesting (and a little complex to explain for me). This is word for word how the kitties explained the premises of it:

"The Abyssal Chaos is a site hidden in the corners of the internet, it focuses on selling information and commissioning bounties. It's the most secretive and anonymous trading platform on the dark web right now!"

Selectable Companions - So unlike the other battle modes where we pick and choose from several of our cards, we choose one of the companions we have available to go through the battles with. Memories in the Abyssal Chaos will use virtual data so the companions will be Level 80. You'll also only be able to choose one companions per period to team up with, as well as the weapon for these trials.

Wontony - The Admin AI the Abyssal Chaos features that gives us these commissions. It'll show us the algorithms and maps to complete the commission.

Gameplay - This mode seems to have more than just combat in it. There will be a series of events and obstacles for the hunters to go through with their companions. From the looks of it there are mazes and memory games, but who knows what else we're going to be getting. These will most likely just work as mini games, in the preview it shows Zayne in a box after getting trapped and our hunter having to run to little boxes on the ground in a certain order for a memory game to free him.

Randomly Generated Nodes - Ya, you saw right...it's going to have randomly generated settings so we're going to be going through different things every single time we play (hopefully). Even the maps are randomly generated it seems. There's also three nodes (similar to branches that we're used to seeing in choice based games) that leads to different outcomes. It's a rougelike gameplay mode where after you make a decision you can't go back during that run, you live with the choices and consequences.

Node Refresh - When you complete the current node according to the map, the system will randomly refresh a few branching nodes and give you new options. They also correspond to different follow up missions. The situation will be different for every option you make. Which means who freaking knows what's going to happen during your playthrough.

Chats with Characters - From what you can see in the video itself, it looks like during these missions you'll have little pop up chat windows where our companions will be speaking with us. If we're lucky it might give us some lore, but most likely it'll just be random conversations about the Abyssal Chaos and possibly their suggestions on how to go about it?

Deduction - I'm not entirely sure about this one but I think the "deduction" is the space in between the battles were you chat with characters, get enhancement items, and choose which node to go to next.

Mission Rewards (Codes) - After completing a mission we'll be getting 'codes' which are basically just item enhancements that (from the looks of it) we get to keep. Looks like they're separated in categories as well: HP, Dodge, Summon, Shield, Negative, Combo, Charged, Active. There's also exclusive ones for your companions as well. There's a total of 9 types of codes right now. If it's all confusing then thankfully Wontony will be willing to tell you which codes he'd recommend you use.

Enhance Codes - As you work your way through this mode you'll be getting Enhance Codes and Special Items in order to enhance the power of your team. Since the characters will default to Level 80 these will be important since it's set levels. Aka it's all catered towards based 80 characters so we need these items if we want to stand a chance getting through these. Of course they're randomly given though so they can either be useless or super helpful. From what they're implying these items are only good for that round in the Abyss Chaos and the next playthrough you do you'll be starting from scratch, giving the mode more playability!

Combo Codes - It looks like by mixing and matching the codes you put on your companions you can unlock even more combos and just overall cool combat specials with your companions! We're going to be getting a major boost in power if we're allowed to move these codes over to Deepspace Trials, however from what I saw it's not 100% confirmed if we will be able to, or if codes are exclusive for Abyssal Chaos' Battle Mode.

Chaos Keys - This is like currency during the mode were you can buy or enhance your codes to help progress through the current deduction you're going through.

Factors - After each deduction you'll be getting things known as factors. There's general factors and companion factors. General Factors will increase the power of your team, while Companion Factors will strengthen just your companion's ability to fight in the Abyssal Chaos.

Reward Exchange - After completing deductions we'll earn points which can be exchanged for a lot of diamonds. Which means we might have another method of farming for diamonds before events, which is a very good thing judging by how the banners are increasing how many pulls you need to do in order to get a guarantee of the card you want (our last event was a whopping 200 Pulls for a reward box).

Sylus Available - Looks like from the start we'll also be able to use Sylus as a companion. He appeared in the exclusive category of the code section.

Sylus + Game Updates

As we all know, Sylus was revealed earlier in June, and went against the wishes of the team for Love and Deepspace. At the end of their livestream they went into detail about the regrets they had since today's livestream was supposed to be his introduction, and how such a reveal was stolen from us as an audience from people leaking information. However I personally think that in today's livestream they will did an amazing job in showcasing Sylus. They gave him a video and song to go with it, and it was honestly amazing. Not to mention we heard his voice for the first time (okay I know there were leaks on that too but still)

Sylus has still been officially revealed to us! After the update on July 15'th he's going to be unlocked as a roman cable candidate which means all the normal interactions will be available! Which means we get to have Sylus get us plushies and poke in Destiny Cafe! From what we're seeing he's not a totally evil guy (one of the livestream kitties mentioned seeing him on a roof and was picked up by his scruff. Sylus jumped off the building then gently places him on the ground. What a sweetie).

Now with Sylus' release here's what we have Story Wise:

New Story Chapter - Long Awaited Revelry will be unlocked soon

Main Story Branches - From September to December we'll be having main story branches for our love interests! Looks like those who said we'd have branching storylines for the boys were correct. So strap in and see how MC is gonna be when actually romancing these men in each of their branches (damn can't have a polyamorous relationship with all these boys RIP). Hopefully this will make the cards and memories easier to understand because main story MC barely knows these men, but all of us are seeing memories of MC tossing them on beds and tables. So we finally get to see how we got to that point.

Free Cards - After the update there will obviously be an event. In that we will be getting a 5-Star Memory of Sylus, as well as a 4-Star memory...for free. During the event we'll also be able to get about 20 Empyrean Wish Tickets, so if you pair that up with the free code, we're getting about 30 free wish tickets to help us collect cards on Sylus! There will also be a log in event for another 4-Star memory of Sylus so make sure you log in for those 10 days.

New Outfits: Do you guys recall those cards that we all looked at like "Where tf are these outfits?" You know, the one where Zayne is staring sexily on a chair, or Rafayel in that suit with like petals around him? Those outfits? Ya we get those during the events...for free!

5-Star Memory Event for Rafayel - We'll be getting a new 5-Star Card for Rafayel at the end of July, Heartfelt Gift, will be available as well as apparently another free 5-Star card for Raffie (or maybe the Heartfelt Gift Card is the free, their wording in the stream was a bit confusing). During the event we get a 10 pulls, 2,000 diamonds, and tons of materials for free.

Wish Update: We're getting an update on the normal wishes. We'll be able to choose 3 of the 5-Star cards in the wish pool to get a rate up boost for them (so we can finally start getting 5-star memories we don't have easier). You can also change the three cards at any time you wish.

Illusio: A new feature called Illusio will be available for kindled memories for a limited time (July 15th - July 31st). You can select different outfits for the characters the click the kindled version of a 5-star memory to see them in that particular outfit (and I am expecting all you guys who have the towel outfits to record ever kindled memory with them wearing it. I ain't playin frfr).

There will also of course be new events popping up in the series, one of them being over in August that's being called "Embroidered Silk Ball". So we have so much content coming our way with the 2.0 version!

Well I think that about covers it all! We have a lot of funs tuff happening in L&DS and I can't wait to see it all! I do apologize for any typos, I wrote this before going to work as fast as I could!

[malebreastmilk]

pining!gojo imagines, school picnic sandwich making!

♡ pining!gojo who is busy taking in the scenery of your apartment as you begin listing off the different sandwich types that the students had requested, he feels like he’s looking right into your heart seeing how you decorated your little place with all the things you enjoyed, only snapping out of his little haze when you speak his name

“...Huh? Sandwiches! Right–what type I like? Whatevers on the menu!” ♡ pining!gojo who finds himself looking down at the little cutting board you had given him with different ingredients that needed cut, glancing over to you cutting the crusts off of someone’s sandwich, a pang of longing flooding his chest as he watched you prepare food so thoughtfully. who looks back towards his cutting board with unfamiliarity for once, unsure

 “On second thought, why don’t we just buy premade sandwiches? It’ll be easier!” ♡ pining!gojo who now finds himself frozen in place as you carefully direct your hands over the top of his to help him direct the shaped bread-cutter without squishing the sandwich and its fillings completely. who trembles momentarily as you move your hand away from his as he does his best to cut into a sandwich by himself, looking back at you, trying to meet your gaze

 “See? Easy as that. You might wanna take notes!”

♡ pining!gojo who packs away the last bagged sandwich after you finish writing the last of the names onto the front. who tries to play it off as him accidentally making an extra sandwich that you might as well eat now since he argued that he was full from the sweets the two of you had been snacking on. who can't help but feel a newly found rush of pride swelling in his chest as you bite into the sandwich, the one he himself made especially for you

“It’s that good? Well I mean– of course it's good! It was made by the one and only Gojo Satoru after all~”

[bgomtori]

☆ seasons - c.bg

synopsis - he was her muse, she was his solace, however what if his emotions got to him for the worst to happen?

-> inspired by the webtoon seasons of blossom, hamin's flower, a bit of dongchae's flower too if you squint :)

-> muse! beomgyu x artist! reader

-> right person not enough time, highschool au, strangers to lovers, fluff, angst with happy ending, secret relationship

-> note! rlly important,, attempted suicide, abusive parents and sh mentions so pls scroll away if youre uncomfortable. slightly ooc beomgyu. i cried at hamin's flower, i love this webtoon sm. also this is going to be more lengthier compared to my other oneshots so enjoy!!

he was rather popular among the cohort, everyone liked him. he was attractive, smart, and had an overall fun personality. everyone knew who beomgyu was, girls swooning over him, confessing their love for him. guys always hanging around him, wanting to have a chat with him every now and then. the whole school knew how cool he was, how high his reputation was, everyone liked him, there was nothing to dislike about beomgyu. that's how you know him even if you guys weren't from the same class.

you, on the other hand, were quiet, barely interacted with the people around you. you'd always stay out of drama in order to protect yourself. during breaks and lunch, you always saw yourself finding solace in the art room, chewing down on your premade lunch while painting whatever was on your mind.

first encounter ༘⋆✿

this day in particular, was one where it basically changed your life. as you mixed the paints on your palette to get a shade of your liking, the door suddenly opened. numerous thoughts rushed through your mind, did someone finally find out your hiding spot? is a teacher going to scold you for using the art room? you bit your lip, thinking of the multiple possibilities that may occur. the sound of the sliding door closing made you peek your eyes out to assess the situation, only to realise that beomgyu, the one everyone liked, was in the same room as you.

"finally, some peace, these people can't seem to stop following me around jeez." beomgyu scoffed in annoyance, grabbing the seat closest to him, plopping down on it exhaustedly. you peered at beomgyu with confusion, he doesn't seem to notice your presence just yet. you continued to hide yourself, watching him warily while he continued to grumble to himself.

just to your luck, your leg accidentally kicked the easle, causing it to drop. you mentally cursed to yourself trying to prevent the canvas from falling on the ground. beomgyu heard the chaos happening on your end, and immediately turned his head over to find the source of loud sound, only the find you panicking over the fact that you got found out.

"how long have you been in here?" beomgyu interrogated you as if you were a wanted criminal. nothing could come out of your mouth, you looked like a deer caught in headlights. beomgyu chuckled to himself, moving towards you, taking a seat beside you.

"i'm beomgyu, you?" he placed a hand out infront of you, wanting to shake your hand. you glanced at his hand, then his face, still skeptical, what if he is luring you into a trap to get caught by the teachers. unbelievable!

"i'm yn.." you mumbled, loud enough to be heard by beomgyu, taking him hand in yours, giving it a nice, and firm shake. the awkward tension filled up the atmosphere, beomgyu scratched his cheek, slightly nervous about the silence between the two of you. you sat there, eating onigiri as if he wasn't there, continuing to paint your artwork. beomgyu stared at the way you carried the brush, with each stroke, a mesmerising work of art unfolded infront of beomgyu.

"you stay here during your spare time?" beomgyu asked, sipping on the extra pack of milk he was carrying in his bag earlier. you hummed in response, "yea, this is my place to enjoy the peace and quiet." a bit of sarcasm directed towards beomgyu for interrupting your tranquility. beomgyu remained silent for a while, finishing his milk packet, placing it on one of the tables around the both of you.

"the teachers allow you in here?" beomgyu continued questioning you, he found you quite interesting for not fawning over him, and asking him stupid questions like what everyone else does. he felt safe around you despite knowing you for just a few minutes. "only my art teacher, he knows how much i enjoy drawing, so he gave me the keys to this room. only if i promised not to get caught by any teacher or student. but, you suddenly came in here, man i should have locked the door." you grumbled the last part out, in slight bitterness. however you didn't really ming beomgyu's presence as long as he doesn't go snitching on you, you were fine with it.

"then you, why did you suddenly barge in here without a warning?" it was your turn to interrogate him, usually no one found interest in the art room, so you found it suspicious. beomgyu looked nervous, was he really about to tell a girl he just got to know his secret. he pressed his lips together, forming something similar to a straight line, still hesitant. you noticed his silence, and was about to reassure him that you weren't forcing him to tell you.

"it's just that my supposed friends are practically assholes who just want popularity. i just want to get away from them." beomgyu sighed, his eyes flickering to whatever's interesting outside the window. "promise me that you tell anyone about my secret or i'll complain to the school about your special treatment in the art room." beomgyu warned, turning to face you to show how serious he was with this.

"ok, ok promise." you giggled, finding his serious look funny. beomgyu's eyebrows furrowed, "why are you laughing." you covered your mouth, preventing yourself from giggling any further.

"nothing, just found it funny." you replied, your focus going back to your uncompleted canvas. beomgyu pouted, resting cheek on the table infront of him as he continued to watch you paint the background of your artwork. "oh! right, can you model for me? i really need a reference for this piece.. i need to work on my realism, please." you pleaded beomgyu. beomgyu's eyes narrowed, reluctant to do your request, however he found himself shifting his seat to face your direction. strange. whenever his friends asked him to do something, he'd normally refuse, however he was comfortable with your requests. how odd.

"is this ok?" he asked, he rested his cheek on the palm of his hand, looking at you like a puppy wandering on the streets. you gave him a thumbs up before turning your attention back to your canvas, picking up the pencil from the table beside you. your head would occassionally pop up from the side of your canvas, peering at beomgyu's facial features, taking them in while your hands does the wonders of sketching out his pretty features. beomgyu's facial structure was perfect, paired with his soft fluffy brown hair resting neatly above his eyes. you could tell that he was growing out his hair especially with the ends of his hair touching the back of the collar of his uniform.

beomgyu watched you squint your eyes with pure concentration whenever you'd look at his features and back at your canvas to make sure they matched. he noticed the way your tongue protruding from your lips slightly, your eyes basically fired up with determination to get the details correct. he felt himself smile to himself, watching your every move.

"tell me about yourself, beomgyu. i don't want to sketch in plain silence." you suddenly requested, beomgyu was taken aback, this was the first time someone actually wanted to understand and know him as a person, and not just for his looks and academics. beomgyu licked his dry lips before opening his mouth, maybe he could trust you with this information, "hmm, you know, even if this is the first time i've ever met you. i feel like i can just be myself around you. for the first time, i don't need to have a fake persona to make a person understand me."

you felt your mouth go dry, he left you tongue tied, you didn't expect him to say something like that, you felt your heart rate accelerating– he made you feel special, important. "wow.. i didn't take you as a two-faced person." you joked with him, beomgyu sneered at your remark, feeling the tips of his ears turn red, well you weren't particularly wrong..

"how long do we have left." you asked, rushing your final detail of the sketch. beomgyu switched on his phone, flipping the screen around to show you. 5 minutes left, wow that was quick. you turned the easle towards beomgyu, showing your masterpiece.

"how is it?" you inquired proudly, you were nervous about the sudden silence coming from beomgyu's end. you slowly opened your eyes to see him taking a picture of your artwork, your eyes widened, "hey, it's not even done. don't take a picture just yet." however, beomgyu smirked at you, showing signs of not wanting to delete the picture. he slowly backed up towards the door, pausing as you looked at him in confusion.

"remember our promise ok?" beomgyu reminded, sticking out his pinky, you looked up at him, cocking your eyebrow at him, before intertwining your pinkies to lock the promise. beomgyu smiled at your gesture, "i'll see you soon." waving at you one last time before heading out of the art room. you stared at the shut door, still puzzled from what just occurred. you hurriedly packed your things before leaving the art room to go for your next class.

subsequent meetings ༘⋆✿

the door slid open again, you looked up in curiousity, only to be puzzled to see beomgyu standing there, quietly shutting the door. "you're here again?" you sighed, once again your peace was disrupted. beomgyu laughed, "can't i come here to enjoy the peace as well?" you grimaced at him, turning your head back to the canvas that was on the table, struggling to place it properly on the easle. beomgyu quickly stood behind you, leaning down to help you fix it. you felt your breath hitch, you could feel how close he was to you as he positioned the canvas perfectly for you. beomgyu took a seat beside you, his head on the table, turned towards your direction, watching you squeeze each of your desired coloured paints onto the palette.

"do you not have any other friends?, do you, well.. get outcasted or something? should i help you?" beomgyu randomly muttered out, you felt yourself pause, your head turning to face him, "what do you mean?" completely confused about what he's saying, the back of your neck feeling warm. is he assuming that you have no friends since you always hang around the art room.. beomgyu shrugged his shoulder, staring off into the distance. to beomgyu, he envied you, you get to enjoy your own solitude in the art room, away from the loud chaos happening in the main areas of the school. he's always surrounded by people, constantly blabbering in his ears about different topics that he isn't interested in, he often had to tune them out, or even cut them off to have some silence. even at home, he can't have a place where he could be alone and happy. his parents are constantly shouting, yelling at him to do better. pressurising him to constantly get good grades for every single test, even one mistake makes them go ballistic.

"i did have a friend, but she moved away 2 weeks later. i don't really socialise with the people in my class, so.." you hesitated to continue, not knowing how to complete your sentence. beomgyu smiled at you with adoration, maybe, just maybe he can find some solace within you. whenever you were painting, or just doing anything related to art, you'd look serene. beomgyu found you calming, only you could calm his nerves down that easily.

"cute." beomgyu uttered out, it slipped out of his mouth. you were stunned, a soft 'huh' left your mouth. confused, yet flustered at the same time, your cheeks warmed up at the sudden compliment. beomgyu gave you a boyish grin, straightening his back, stretching his tense muscles at the same time.

"hm, how about this, we make this our meeting place, but outside of here, pretend like we don't know each other. i don't want you to get unnecessary attention from my 'friends'." beomgyu offered, his request was odd. however, you still accepted it, you somehow enjoyed his presence around you. you've only known him for a while, but how does one already break down your walls that easily?

"that's a deal then." beomgyu smirked at you, his pinky intertwining with yours again, making another promise with you. "i'll see you around yn!" waving goodbye to you with a big smile on his face, heading out of the art room. you were slightly touched with how much he tried to create a bond with you, it was cute of him, maybe you'd actually look forward to lunch time now.

everyday, without a fail, beomgyu would enter the art room, closing the door immediately to not attract any suspicion. everyday, he entered the room, the relationship between both of you blossomed. you found yourself growly more fond of him. he felt the same way, he was drawn to you in some way or another, you weren't like the other people in school who would always stick their noses into other people's business. he knew that he could allow you into his heart. he knew that maybe it's possible to try something new with you. you had mini art lessons for beomgyu, you noticed his special talent for art, not only did was he a model student, he could draw well too, that pulled your heart strings.

in the art room, from teaching him how to paint a scenary, to conversations about each other's personal life. leaning on the edge of a table, beomgyu would subconsciously lace his fingers with yours, his head laying on your shoulder, telling you about how tiring it was to deal with his fake friends. you could only try your best to comfort him, since you didn't know exactly how he felt. his thumb would occassionally rub your knuckles, making your heart race.

despite all these secret interactions you two have, you would walk past beomgyu, not initiating any conversation with him, only glancing up at him, he would do the same, locking eyes with you, his hands intentionally rubbing past yours before walking away with his group of friends. thus, you decided to tone down your overwhelming feelings for beomgyu in order not to get too affected by it. therefore, when you saw beomgyu sitting in the art room, a tear dripping down his face, you were concerned, worried, you didn't really know what to do. so the best thing you did was pretend like you didn't notice beomgyu crying.

beomgyu noticed how flustered you were, a light-hearted giggle came out of his mouth, "i'm fine, so don't go anywhere. just stay here." upon his request, you sat infront of him, your eyes filled with concern. "why were you crying?" you asked, beomgyu looked out of the window, the afternoon glow luminating his face, his tear stained cheeks now more obvious, his damp eyelashes fluttering prettily. he was heaven-sent.

"summer break's coming, that means i'll have to attend summer school, and not be allowed to use the art room.." trailing off his words, "i also like watching you draw, so i guess that contributes to the factor." beomgyu confessed. your hands were clammy, did you hear that correctly? you felt yourself blush, cheeks warming up.

"how about during summer break you come with me to the art academy i attended for a tour?" you invited. beomgyu immediately turned to face you, the tip of his ears turning red, you practically asked him out. "sure.." he agreed, his hands quickly grabbing his phone from his pocket, typing in something quickly. he showed you his screen, contactlist. oh, he wanted your number. you took his phone from his, placing it on your lap before passing your own device to him, wanting him to give you his contact as well. both of you typed in your numbers in each other's phone before returning it back.

"i'll text you the date?" you say, tilting your head slightly. beomgyu uttered a quick, 'ok', coming down from the shelf he was conveniently sitting on. he bidded you goodbye, heading for his next, leaving you alone with your own thoughts. you turned on your phone, seeing the contact name, 'beomgyu :D' appearing on the notification board. 'i'll see you on the tour day itself :)' without knowing, you smiled to yourself, replying to his message while walking towards your classroom.

rain ༘⋆✿

maybe it was fate, maybe an invisible string was attached to the both of you to find each other. it has been a while since the day you two went out for the tour around your art academy, you've introduced him to the art studio you always go to after school. you and beomgyu made it your second hangout spot, away from everyone, only you, him, and your art director, but that didn't really matter. you two were closer than ever, telling each other about your secrets, ranting to each other about everything, basically attached by the hip.

school started again after the long summer break, the both of you went back to pretending like you didn't know about each other's existence. you ended classes earlier than him, since you were in the art stream. beomgyu on the other hand, he had lessons all the way till 4, as he was in the top class, which has more subjects compared to a normal senior year class, even if he wanted to skip lessons to spend more time with you, he can't, his parents were another issue. if his parents found out that he pulled out of his cram school, and went to your art studio with the funded money, who knows what would happen to him.

you stood near the entrance of the school's main doors, waiting for him to go to the art studio together, noticing that the sky was overcast, yet there was no wind whatsoever. the humidity and heat was getting to you, tying your hair in hopes of cooling yourself down. suddenly you felt something cold being placed at the back of your neck, you shrieked in fear, only to realise that beomgyu was standing behind you with a chilled can of pocari, placing it on the top of your head, giving it to you.

"sorry to keep you waiting." beomgyu apologised, peeping his head out of the sheltered doorway to check the weather, it was going to rain. he turned to you as you chugged down the can of pocari as if it was your last drink.

"oh? you tied your hair, huh? didn't you let it loose just now?" his eyes squinting at you, you felt flustered under his gaze, "i was waiting for you, and it was really humid, so i tied my hair!" you retorted, your lips forming into a pout. "hmm, for sure. you look cuter with your hair tied up anyways." beomgyu teased, his smirk rubbing you off. you smacked his shoulder, while he laughed at you.

just a few moments after, the sky was completely dark, droplets of rain pouring down from the sky immediately. you looked out at the sky, slightly happy about the sudden downpour, you loved the rain, it was relaxing. just listening to the sounds of rain droplets falling and hitting the concrete floor was soothing to you.

"the rain makes the summer air so much more suffocating." beomgyu grumbled beside you, about to grab his umbrella, however you stopped him. "let's go! this is the best way to feel freedom." you giggled, holding beomgyu's hand to pull him out into the rain. your bright, radiant smile made beomgyu flush, he usually hated the rain, let alone play in it, but it was different when it was with you.

"if you're going to grab onto my hand, at least do it properly." beomgyu mumbled, his fingers making it's way to intertwine with yours. "even so, this is more fun than i thought." beomgyu admitted, you beamed even more after hearing that, you hands squeezing his as you jumped into puddles, running around in the rain with him. after that fun, eventful journey, you two finally arrived at the art studio, greeting your art director with both your hairs' dripping, clothes stuck to your skin.

"oh dear! come, take some of my clothes, i'll go wash and dry these for you." the art director sighed, tossing her clothes onto the couch for you and beomgyu to change into. you burst out in laughter when you saw beomgyu, sitting on the couch, waiting for you, the clothes were too small for him. he glared at you, "shut up, sit here with me." beomgyu grumbled, patting the seat next to him, you obediently went beside him. the both of you shared the blanket, warming yourselves up.

"hmm, you know, whenever i'm with you, i get more talkative. usually i'm uncomfortable with such things, but why is it ok when i'm with you?" beomgyu said, leaning his head to his hand, looking straight into your eyes.

"oh, i hear a lot from my friends that i seem harmless." you joked, laughing to yourself, beomgyu smiled along with you, his eyes softened as he admired your pretty smile, and rosy cheeks.

"i think i know what they mean. but it's more like..." beomgyu trailed, trying to find a word to describe it.

"what? you're gonna tease me again, aren't you?" you scoffed, knowing that he loves joking around with you, he enjoyed looking at your angry look, it was cute.

"you're lovable?" your eyes widened in confusion, your cheeks flushing to a light hue a red, nothing came out of your mouth, you were speechless. beomgyu noticed your reaction, pink dusting his cheeks, the tip of his ears turning red. you laughed at him, pointing out how flustered he was.

"you make me like this yn." beomgyu pulled on his ears, in attempt to hide them, finally lifting his head up from the palm of his hand to look at your better. he inched closer to you, faces just centimeters away from one another, his mind clouded with thoughts of you, your lips, everything about you, "tell me if you hate it ok?" asking for consent.

"i don't.. hate it." you reassured him. beomgyu's lips tugged upwards before closing the gap between the two of you. you tasted like vanilla, probably from the lipbalm you were before school, he wanted more but was afriad that you would feel uncomfortable, pulling away after awhile. the kiss was short but pure. a small, 'ah' coming out of your mouth, feeling slightly disappointed that it ended.

beomgyu leaned towards you, whispering into your ear, "by the way, that was my first kiss." hearing that shocked you, he has never kissed anyone before? you were his first. "me too.." you trailed off, nervously glancing around the art studio. "it was pretty obvious." beomgyu chuckled as you turned your head towards him, your cheeks burning further, "huh how!? what do you m-"

"i'm back kids!" the art director interrupted your sentence, holding onto a basket with your uniforms. you and beomgyu turned towards her with red faces, she looked shocked and apologised, leaving your uniforms on the counter before continuing to mind her own business. the two of you turned back to each other and giggled. maybe beomgyu would start liking the rain that he had always hated.

radiant ༘⋆✿

"is everyone clear on this? this is how your art projects will be evaluated this semester." everybody groaned, the grading system was even more strict than usual. "oh right, i heard that your class chose face painting for this year's school festival. yn you're good at drawing, so you can help the others.." everyone turned to you while you blinked open your eyes, you were dead asleep. you didn't hear anything you teacher just said. your classmates laughed as your tablemate filled you in on what was happening, you came to your senses and just nodded in agreement to what your teacher said.

"perfect, class is dismissed now." you heaved a sigh of relief, saying a quick goodbye to your classmates, making your way to the art room. while walking up the flight of stairs, you overheard a group of people talking bad about beomgyu, they obviously couldn't tell that their volume was loud enough for people to eavesdrop on them. you felt a familiar presence creeping up behind you, you turned around, looking at beomgyu with concern, is this what he goes through all the time? beomgyu placed a finger on his lips, brushing past you as he made his way towards the group.

your eyes lingered on beomgyu's silhouette, worry crashes over. is he really ok with his friends talking shit about him behind his back.. your eyebrows knitted together, pulling your phone out of your skirt pocket as soon as you entered the art room.

yn★: are you ok?

beom:> : yea don't worry about me.

im almost there, wait for me yeah? read

upon hearing the door shut behind you, your head snapped towards the direction. beomgyu gave you the same old carefree smile he'd always wear on his face as if nothing happened. you walked towards him, tugging him into a hug. beomgyu was stiff but slowly melted under your touch, using his height to his advantage, he placed his chin atop of your head, his hands rubbing your back, consolling you.

"yn, you don't need to worry about me too much 'kay?" his gentle voice reassured you. maybe he was too used to it. "but if it bothers you too much, you can tell me." your head tilted up, doe eyes looking up at him. beomgyu nodded to your request, patting your head as he pulled away, how could he say no?

"right, my class is doing face painting for this years festival, and i kinda got forced into it.. so if you can, please visit us." you exclaimed, an excited smile appearing on your face. beomgyu's eyes softened, perhaps it was finally time for you to be under the limelight.

weeks flew by quickly, the school's festival was finally here. your class was bustling, each and every one of you scrambled around your class, setting up the props, and rearranging the tables. you on the other hand, was dragging a heavy bag of washable facepaints and brushes up to your class, your teacher must really enjoywatching you suffer. you were that your legs were going to fumble when you entered the class, beads of sweat trickling dowm your forehead as if you ran a marathon.

"wow, she really gave us a lot of materials, thanks for bringing them up yn!" your classmate patted your back, rummaging through the variety of brushes and paints, picking each different one up. you smiled at them, giving them a quick thumbs up, can they not tell that you basically went through hell bringing these up the stairs, this was even worse than deadlifting at a gym.

"yn! come here, help us paint our faces first before everyone else comes! we wanna be the first ones to experience your facepainting." your friend shouted for you, you went to where they were, sitting down on where you were supposedly stationed at. you carefully painted each of their requests right on their cheekbone, under their eyes. all of your classmates were amazed at your skill, you were able to draw from scratch, something they can't do.

"now do yours!" your classmate exclaimed, her phone camera placed infront of your, as if it was a mirror. you gave it some thought, finally deciding to draw a bear on your cheek, beomgyu's favourite animal, it even looks like him. you smiled to yourself, proud of your final work. you turned your cheek towards your classmates, showing it off, everyone gaped in astonishment, some giving you a thumbs up.

"ok guys, sorry to ruin your fun, but people are about to start coming here, so please get ready." your teacher coughed out to gain your attention, everyone quickly went to their station, a few grabbing the predecorated board to walk around the school to promote your class's activity. you rest your head on the palm of your hand, waiting for the students to arrive at at your classroom. multiple students came rushing in, they were excited to have their faces painted, especially by one of the best artists in the school. multiple requests were shouted at you as you tried calming them down, "one by one please.." you felt small, but you were happy that people were finally recognising your work and appreciating you as a person.

"you seriously want to do face painting?" a voice echoed through the hallways, only to be shushed by his group of friends. you recognised the brown messy hair, along with his converse shoes almost immediately. beomgyu came to see you, you smiled to yourself, your eyes darted back to the student you were still working on as he made his way towards you, his friends following behind him like minions.

"it's so cute, thank you so much yn!" the girl quickly thanked, her eyes sparkling with pure joy, admiring the art you drew on her cheek. your lips curved upwards, proud of yourself. without even realising, beomgyu had already sat infront of you, waiting for you to speak. you cleared your throat, out of pure anxiousness. "what design would you like to have?" he pondered to himself, humming while tapping his chin, "a hamster." your heart skipped a beat, it was one of your favourite pets, he even told you that you looked like a hamster before. he definitely got the inspiration from the bear on your cheek.

you dipped your paintbrush into the white paint before carefully drawing out the hamster you envisioned in your mind. beomgyu's eyes were closed, however he could feel how close your faces were, his ears turned to a slight pink shade, feeling rather flustered. "done." your soft, tender voice spoke, beomgyu's eyes opened up, staring into the mirror next to him, admiring your work of art. not long after, he got up, bidding you goodbye before leaving with his friends. you called out for the next student, giggling with them, not knowing that beomgyu's gaze was still on you, admiring the way your smile brightened up the entire room, everyone around you laughing away, having a fun time. everyone seemed to enjoy your presence, finally noticing how radiant you can be.

days after the festival, you hung out with a few new friends you made during the festival, gossiping, chatting about boys, the usual teenage stuff. of course you'd go back to the art room to meet beomgyu, however it felt different, you noticed that his usually welcoming, fun aura was replaced with a gloomy one. he tried his best to hide it from you, his signature smile appearing on his face whenever you guys talked, hugged or shared a quick kiss.

one particular evening, you were texting beomgyu like any other regular day, chatting about your day as per usual, a giddy smile stayed on your face.

yn★ : RIGHT IT WAS SO STUPID

beom:> : oh right, i have a request.

yn★ : hold on! my mum is calling for me

beom:> : if i look tired one day, can you drag me out to jump in the rain again? [deleted]

yn★ : im back

what was it that you deleted?

gyu?

hello????

you furrowed your eyebrows, beomgyu wasn't the type to leave you on delivered, this was new. you didn't know how to feel, your fingers moved faster than your mind, you closed the app, turning off your phone. you stared at the ceiling, tears pricking your eyes, is it true, is the '3 month rule' thing your friends talk about true? you sighed, wiping away the fallen teardrops before closing your eyes. maybe sleeping will remove all your problems.

it has been a long time since that happened, you felt like your relationship with beomgyu was going to fall apart, you didn't want that to happen at all, you were worried, he left you on delivered more often, even if he replied you, it was dry. you felt like a wreck. on the other hand, beomgyu felt like he was going back into the slump he was once in before he found you, this time it was worse. the unbelievably high standards his parents were setting for him, along with the physical abuse he had to endure was getting unbearable. in addition to that, beomgyu's parents limited the hours beomgyu could spend on his phone, also banning him from going out after they found out about him sneaking out to the art studio instead of cram school. they were furious, slapping him hard, ripping the drawings beomgyu drew during his freetime, shouting at him. beomgyu was tired, extremely exhausted of everything.

"gyu?" your voice suddenly sounded, the door behind him opened, beomgyu jumped in shock, he didn't expect you to be here so early. you closed the door behind you, maybe it was finally time you talked to him about this. "did you change your number?"

"no."

"was your service cut or something?"

"no."

"then what is it? at first i thought you were just busy but weeks and days turned into months, it is hard to see you in school, let alone contact you! but you said you were afraid of losing me." your words struck beomgyu like an arrow piercing through his heart, the way your voice cracked each time you uttered a word broke him, yet he didn't budge, he deserved it, that's what he felt.

"do you not feel it as well? ever since the festival, we've distanced so much, it's as if we're back to square one, like we don't know each other anymore." your tears were threatening to spill out, hitting beomgyu's chest. you were mad, but you were more upset than angry at beomgyu, what was he hiding from you.

"as we should." beomgyu mutterred out, bringing his hand to cover his face.

"what?" your mouth slightly ajar, you didn't hear that incorrectly right?

"yn, i think it's better if we just stop seeing each other, or maybe just forget about each other." beomgyu admitted, he didn't want this to end, he really didn't but he didn't want you to go through his sufferring, he wants you to have your own life without constantly worrying about him. you moved beomgyu's hand away from his face, only to realise that he was crying too. you were about to say something but the bell rung, signalling that lunch ended.

"let's go to somewhere before people see us here." you said with a hushed tone, leaving the art room, towards the stairwell nearby. beomgyu followed you closely, his lips pressed together, forming a straight line. his mind was in utter chaos right now, he just wanted to make the pain go away. the both of you sat beside each other on the staircase, waiting for everyone to go back to their classes.

"we're going to be late anyways, you can just tell your teacher you were feeling slightly unwell." you advised, beomgyu nodded his head, tilting his head down, his bangs falling over his eyes.

"im quitting the art studio to join the art academy for my entrance exam–" you took a deep breath in, noticing beomgyu's slighty shocked expression before turning away to look out the window, "so, if you want, you can join me too, then we can go to art school together." you tried staying positive, maybe after this, you and beomgyu still had a chance to see each other outside school and maybe even post highschool.

"i'm quitting art. it is just a hobby to me, i dont see any interest in taking art for college. and i.. can't rlly see you making it far with art too.." beomgyu confessed, maybe it was better for you to start hating him, rather than making you dwell over him and his well-being everytime. you looked at beomgyu with pure bitterness, you were speechless, did he really say that to you? you stood up, making beomgyu look up at you with tired eyes.

"at least i don't bottle up my feelings while making it obvious that i'm doing something i hate. you can spend your life giving up on things you like. like art and me. you coward." you grumbled, walking away from beomgyu, leaving him by the stairs. you were pissed, you quickened your pace towards the girls' bathroom, locking yourself up in the cubicle, letting out your pent up feelings. you hated this feeling, it was eating you up, maybe beomgyu had his reasons to push you away like that, but he could have just told you, why was he doing this.

beomgyu stared blankly at where you stood, he ruffled his hair in frustration, he looked down at the ground, "ah.. i really fucked up." he stared at his wrists, the past healed scars fading away, maybe if he started again, would he feel any better? beomgyu smacked his head, trying to wake himself up as he got up to return back to class.

his flower ༘⋆✿

"i think you should take up this challenge, especially since you want to enter one of the top art colleges." you teacher recommended, you took the pamphlet, scanning through the requirements. you gave it some thought, i mean of course you'd join, it'll look good on your portfolio, but whether you should take one for him.

"can i have one more?" you asked, your teacher smiled at you, handing you another piece. you thanked her and left the staff room, slowly walking back to class. you got to your seat, quickly scribbling something down on the post it you had conveniently laying around, before pasting it on the pamphlet, folding it nicely. you rushed out of your class, looking around for something or someone. luckily, you saw one of beomgyu's friend's, soobin, you knew that they were childhood friends so you could trust him with this.

"hey.. uhm, soobin, can you pass this on to beomgyu, don't tell him who it's from though." you whispered loudly, quickly handing him the folded pamphlet. soobin gave you a thumbs up, waving you a quick goodbye as he entered his classroom.

"beomgyu! something for you." soobin called out, to get beomgyu's attention. beomgyu turned to him with curiousity, taking the piece of paper from soobin's grasp. soobin dragged a chair next to him, waiting for beomgyu to read the contents. beomgyu's eyes straight away landed on the post it note that was loosely hanging on the phamplet.

'us going through this challenging period, is proof that we're trying our best to bloom, right?' it read, beomgyu took the paper, writing something down on the post it before sticking it on his journal. soobin looked at him like a meerkat, wondering what beomgyu was doing.

"oh, right, i might bring over some dinner for you later, i'll text you if i can't." soobin reminded, patting beomgyu's shoulder before leaving the classroom. beomgyu sighed, he really didn't want soobin to come over, he stared at his bandaged up wrist, as he layed his head on the table, closing his eyes for a quick nap.

beomgyu was done with everything, he was exhausted physically and mentally, if he couldn't distract himself, his mind would go haywire. this was especially hard since his screentime was only limited to an hour. the previous night, his dad finally came home after a long day of work, the smell of alcohol on his office dress shirt was loud, beomgyu was scared. his dad's footsteps came closer to his door, much to his disappointment, the door flung open.

"i heard you got back your physics paper, show it to me." beomgyu shivered at how menancing his dad sounded, he obeyed and quickly scrambled for his paper. he looked at his score, just an 80%, not perfect enough for his parents. beomgyu passed the papers to his dad, ready for the scolding of his life.

"fucking disappointment, this is what happened when you go to a bloody art studio instead of the cram school i painstakingly pay for." beomgyu's dad shouted, rage boiling throughout his veins, beomgyu's dad inched closer to beomgyu. slap, a loud, quick smack went across beomgyu's face, it was hard, beomgyu's fists trembled in fear, trying to endure the burning pain on his cheek. his dad grabbed a handful of beomgyu's hair, yanking him closer to him. beomgyu whinced in pain, tears threatening to spill out.

"if you don't stop acting like a useless piece of shit, i'll personally send you abroad." beomgyu's dad spat, tossing beomgyu onto the ground before leaving the room, slamming it shut. beomgyu leaned against his bed, staring up at the ceiling, feeling like nothing. how he wished he could text you right now, but either way, he didn't want to distrupt your sleep. beomgyu slowly got up, walking towards his study table, eyeing the sharpener blade he used to use before he was clean. like a paintbrush on a canvas, each stroke was clean, leaving behind a deep red colour each time, it was like his own artwork.

"ah.." beomgyu sighed, a tear falling out of his eye, looking at his wrist. you'd be so disappointed in him if you ever found out. he quickly took the bandage wraps that were in his drawer, wrapping it around his fresh wounds. beomgyu rubbed his eyes, plopping onto his bed, staring at his wallpaper, a picture your took of a cat on his phone, how he wished things would go back to how it used to be.

back to the present, school ended, students rushed out of their classroom, either wanting to hang out with their friends or to go home to rest. beomgyu knew that his father was home, he knew that he'd be back for another beating, he really didn't want to go home. he slowly packed his things, throwing his bag over his shoulder, proceeding towards his lockers. looking up, he saw you, smiling with your new friends, laughing at one another's jokes. as much as he wanted to run towards you, and bring back past memories, he couldn't he can't hurt you anymore.

beomgyu quickly walked past you, making his way back home. you noticed his familiar scent, you turned around to his direction, your smile faltering, you missed him so much, yet you couldn't bring yourself to text him. "yn? are you going to come?" your friend shook you out of your trance. you jolted at the sudden touch, "yea."

"i'm home." beomgyu announced, closing the front door, removing his shoes. he heard the television playing, dim lights, along with the strong smell of cigerattes and alcohol. not again.. beomgyu's eyebrows furrowed, he didn't want to deal with this again.

"choi beomgyu." beomgyu groaned internally at his name being called, his father looked mad, filled with rage, beomgyu knew he was fucked. "what's with your attitude in school now? the teacher called in saying that you've been sleeping in class more recently, is this how you fucking repay me? is this why you wanted to go to this neighbourhood school? to rebel against your parents?" beomgyu's dad continued rambling, moving closer towards beomgyu, his presence was horrifying, beomgyu felt his blood run cold. it all happened in the matter of seconds, beomgyu's face was now burning, he hissed in pain, holding onto his cheek, looking up at his dad who was staring down at him like he was an abandoned dog.

"pathetic. fucking pathetic. i wished i never had a son like you." beomgyu's dad spat, storming out of the house, probably out to go to the neighbourhood bar to party with his middle aged friends. beomgyu flinched when the door slammed shut, he sat on the ground, wiping off the blood on the side of his mouth. the taste of iron disgusted him, he got up onto his feet, walking into his room. he took out the journal he hid from his parents, the journal that he used to write about things he want to say to you. beomgyu flipped to the paragraph he wrote, rereading it, making sure that there were no flaws.

beomgyu laughed to himself, tears spilling out of his eyes, if his dad didn't even want him around, he might as well make that dream a reality. beomgyu wrote out one last line, before running out of the house, towards the apartment buildings nearby the school. the sky was overcast, dark grey clouds covering the sunrays, a few drops of raindrops fell on beomgyu as he brisk walked towards his desired location.

he trudged past the art studio, his eyes flickering into the studio, hoping that you were there, but who was he kidding, you left the studio to go to the art academy. however, the art director noticed him, shouting for him to get inside or he'll get rained on. beomgyu turned around, his look shocked the art director, he looked helpless, beomgyu bowed to the art director, before going off on his own.

"beomgyu! i have my mum's food here for dinner." soobin shouted, leaving the food on the kitchen counter. realising that there was no response, soobin was confused, maybe beomgyu was taking a nap. he entered beomgyu's room quietly, his eyes widening when he realised beomgyu wasn't anywhere to be found. his phone left on the table, the only thing that caught soobin's attention was the open journal left on beomgyu's desk, a long paragraph written on it. soobin read the content within that paragraph, panicking, soobin's mind was racing, 'fuck' repeating in his mind.

the letter read, 'i felt like i dreamt a very sweet, and awfully bitter dream, because the first moment i saw you combined with all the fleeting moments we spent together were too dazzling for me. you were always radiant. i hoped that only i would be the one to see your light. but others soon caught sight of it. and that's around when i realized something, i hadn't known when i'd been in the dark, the existence of my ugly shadow. the closer it got to the light, the thicker it became and the more it clung to me. so, i couldn't help but hide in the darkness again. i knew you would be hurt, but as you said i was a coward. i knew that you'd always stay with me through thick and thin, and that scared me, my problems would ultimately hurt you in the end either way. i knew how it would feel all too well. i was so used to giving up the things i liked that i thought i'd be okay again soon, just like always. i thought that all i had to do was to return to the way things were before i'd met you. that's what i thought, endless waves of self-hatred, a sense of helplessness, emptiness, loss, and absence. longing for the light, i'd already become accustomed to your warmth. but that short time with you had been the only moment I could be completely myself. thank you for being with me during my most radiant moment yn :)'

soobin unlocked beomgyu's phone, luckily he knew his phone password, he found your number, typing it down onto his own phone, dialing the number. soobin grabbed the journal, along with beomgyu's phone, running out of the house. on your end, you were suspicious on why the same number kept calling you, you were annoyed, the weather was perfect for a nap but it was distrupted by an endless string of phonecalls. you picked up your phone, immediately you heard a sigh of relief, along with a shaky panicky voice.

"you're yn right? please can you meet me at the convenience store nearby please, it's really urgent." soobin pleaded, his voice sounded like he was going to breakdown anytime soon. you were worried, what was exactly going on, why was beomgyu's childhood friend calling you?

"i'll come down soon, what is this about may i ask?" you questioned, grabbing your keys and wallet. "please hurry, run, i don't care, beomgyu's life is on the line. please yn.." soobin answered, shouting into his phone, he didn't want to waste anymore time, he started asking near passerbys about the whereabouts about beomgyu. your eyes widened, beomgyu? you dashed out of you house, yelling a quick goodbye to your mother.

"yn? it's raining take an umbrella-" the door was slammed shut, you tried calling beomgyu's phone, no response. the rain came pouring down, you were soaked in the salty rain. you ran towards the convenience store near your school, only to see soobin conversing with your art director.

"soobin!" you shouted, eyes filled with panic. soobin thanked your art director, you were confused, what were they talking about? "let's go, the apartments, your art director assumed that he might be there since she saw him headed towards that direction." soobin ordered, running. you ran along with him, taking notice of the plastic bag he was holding. it felt like forever, you were panting, gasping for air. the atmosphere was thick, both you and soobin were drenched.

"you take the elevator, i'll take the stairs." soobin said with a stern look, sprinting up the stairs. you pressed on the elevator button that closes the door multiple times, in hopes that it'll be faster. as soon as you reached the rooftop, you bolted out of the elevator, towards the two dark figures you saw in the distance. you begged your legs to hurry up when you saw beomgyu stick his leg out, risking it all. soobin's eyes widened, his hands reaching out for beomgyu, however..

"beomgyu!" you sped past soobin, reaching out to beomgyu first. half of your body was over the ledge, soobin grabbed onto the lowerhalf of your body, making sure that you wouldn't accidentally fall over. beomgyu looked up to see your desperate look, tears falling out of your eyes.

"do you really want to die that badly gyu? there's many other ways you can do this you know." you choked out, sobbing harder. beomgyu felt guilty, he looked down, realising how high it was.

"i don't want to die, but.. i'm more afraid of living under these circumstances." beomgyu managed to utter out, his voice muffled by the sound of rain hitting the surface below you.

"you know how proud i am for you that you're able to make it this far? i know how tough your situation is at home, but if you leave like this, you'll leave behind those who actually care for you. if you don't know how to love yourself, i'll teach you how. if you only know how to hurt yourself, i'll care for you! no matter how much life sucks, you need to stay alive, do the things you love, and come back to me. please beomgyu, give me another chance to care for you again!" you shouted, tears spewing out of your eyes, dripping on beomgyu's wet face, beomgyu felt himself whince, seeing you in such a state pained him.

beomgyu's hand reached out for yours, you turned around, giving soobin the signal to pull you two up. all three of you fell on the ground, you and soobin panting hard for oxygen. beomgyu stared at the sky, the salty raindrops falling on his face, his eyes red from all the crying. he then felt himself getting picked up from the ground, only to be embraced by your warmth.

"you fucking idiot, don't scare us again." soobin cursed out, his nose red from crying earlier, sniffling loudly. beomgyu chuckled at soobin's reaction, wrapping his arms around your waist, hugging you tightly. he missed this comforting, warm embrace of yours. constant apologies came out of beomgyu's mouth, trying to calm you down from this whole incident.

"please, never do that again." your puffy eyes and runny nose made beomgyu laugh, his hands wiping the tear rolling down your cheek. "oh right soobin, what's that in the plastic bag." beomgyu asked, pointing towards the wet bag. "oh it's the notebook i found on your desk, and your phone. also is this notebook some love confession book for yn or something." soobin blabbered, his lips curling up to a smirk. your head turned towards soobin quickly, accidentally knocking into beomgyu's chin.

"shut up, i use that book to write down stuff i want to tell yn." beomgyu admitted, averting your eyes, "guess i'll give it to your as an apology.." beomgyu pouted. you smiled at him, teasing him slightly.

"beomgyu, if you need a place to stay for awhile, you should stay at mine, my parents won't snitch. in the meantime, we can file a lawsuit against your parents." soobin advised, beomgyu gulped at his words, suing his own parents? he didn't want to since well they're his parents afterall, but after all he has been through, he nodded his head, standing up from the wet slippery ground.

"let's go back to the art studio to dry up first, just like the first time." you grinned at beomgyu, dragging him along with you. soobin grumbled behind you two about how he has to thirdwheel you two now. the three of you laughed, making your way to the art studio, the sun now out, shining brightly around your surroundings, glowly radiantly in the sky. this may be the most eventful summer you've ever experienced.

end ༘⋆✿

author's note: sorry if this is super long, and for the bad english. but i hope you enjoyed!!

[gyeomsweetgyeom]

[6:14 pm] 

The Christmas party was in full swing. The house was filled with all the familiar faces of your friends, holiday music playing in the background. Some people were busy building gingerbread houses, others were decorating sugar cookies, and some were decorating ornaments. It was a fun night filled with fun, nostalgic activities.

You opened the door with a bright smile to welcome BestFriend!Mark in, "Finally! I've been waiting for you to show up. Come in, come in."

He walked in with a shy smile, cheeks red from the cold outside while he hung his coat. "You never responded to my text, so I just brought some more cookie stuff. Some premade mix and frosting. Oh, and some sprinkles," he told you while he followed you further into the warm house.

"Perfect! I didn't expect it to be as popular, people love cookies," you reply softly, leading Mark to the kitchen with his hand in yours.

He stared at your joined hands, willing his heart rate to slow down while praying his face wasn't as red as he felt. He knew it was red, he just hoped he could blame it on the cold if anyone asked.

Mark managed to occupy himself for a few hours, eating and mingling with friends. He created an ornament that had unintentionally resembled one of the Christmas gifts he made his mom in early elementary school.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw you slip out the back door by yourself. He cocked his head in confusion, sneaking out behind you unnoticed. He shivered at the change in temperature, "Are you okay?"

You turned to face him, surprised that anyone had followed you out. You smiled, though it looked tired, "I'm fine."

He wrapped an arm around your shoulder, pulling you into the warmth of his body, "You can tell me. We're best friends aren't we?"

You sighed, your breath coming out in a warm cloud, "It's tiring hosting."

"But you're doing an amazing job. Everyone is having a great time," he rubbed his hand up and down your arm.

You laid your head on his shoulder, sighing once more, "Thanks Mark, I just needed to take a breath."

You both stood outside for a few more minutes, ignoring the temperature in favor of just enjoying each other's company. The silence was comforting and it felt good to be in his arms.

"Should we head inside now?" Mark asked softly.

You nod with a smile, turning to head inside. You tug on the door, but it doesn't budge. You tug harder, still no movement, "It's not opening."

"What? I didn't lock it, does it usually stick?" Mark asks, joining you to tug on the handle.

A friend pops up from the other side of the glass with a mischievous smile. She points to the top of the sliding glass door with an excited grin.

You and Mark look up slowly, catching sight of a bundle of mistletoe. Your eyes widen, looking at her with a look that screamed help. "I'll let you in when you guys kiss!" You hear her from the other side of the glass.

"No! It's cold. Let us in!" You both argue, pulling pointlessly on the handle of the door.

She crosses her arms and steps away from the door. She clearly has no intentions of opening the door until you both kiss.

"We don't have to. We can find another way to get in," Mark reassures.

"Mark we're upstairs, I don't mind," you take a deep breath, "I like you, Mark- a lot. I have for a few years now, I wouldn't mind kissing you. I understand if you don't feel the same way."

Mark's head snaps in your direction with wide eyes, "You like me?"

You cover your face with your hands, embarrassment taking over you while you nod, "For like 2 years now."

He gently pulls your hands from your face, looking you in your eyes, "I like you too." Your eyes light up a bright smile taking over your face. Mark gulps, "Can I kiss you?"

You nod, a shaky breath leaving you before Mark leans in slowly. His lips stop a centimeter away from yours, his warm breath falling over your face for just a second before his soft lips touch your own.

You feel a bolt of lightning hit your body, fireworks going off, tingles from your head to your toes. You feel years of yearning and pent up feelings through the kiss while your lips move against each other's. His hands are surprisingly warm as they cup your face, he pulls away breathlessly his thumb caressing your cheek, "wow."

You bite your lip, trying to suppress your excited smile, "Yeah, that was great."

He continues caressing your cheek, his eyes slowly falling shut and leaning forward once more when you hear the door open, "That's enough, you guys can come in now."

-

a/n: LOVED this one!!!!!

[ataraxiaspainting]

Sweet Hibiscus Tea.

Yan Shalnark x F Reader.

Synopsis: After a day of finally trying to face your social anxiety, you walk home alone. The roads are empty, quiet, and eerie. But you are almost home now, aren’t you? You are not going to cry anymore. Just when you think life is starting to turn around for you, it goes in the exact opposite direction. 

Warnings: Yandere themes, violence, kidnapping, misogyny, not SFW implications, psychological horror elements, manipulation, panic attacks, Shalnark being an asshole, unhealthy relationships, and stalking.

Word Count: 5k.

Can be considered to be within the Hier Encore universe.

Ten Songs Like This Piece:

Look Who’s Inside Again by Bo Burnham

Things She Said by Chris Garneau

Baby Bride Rag by Roar

Butch 4 Butch by Rio Romeo

Appetite of a People-Pleaser by Ghost and Pals

Valentine, Texas by Mitski

I’m Yer Dad by GRLwood

Cry Baby by Melanie Martinez

Freaks by Surf Curse

Neighbour by Mother Mother

“You stay soft, you get beaten; only natural to harden up.” — Mitski, Stay Soft

*~*~*~*

Regardless of how much time has passed, this convenience store always remains the same.

There is always the familiar, tired face of the clerk behind the cash register, her gaze never on you or any other customer who walks in and out of the doors, a simple, muted hello being the only proof that she noticed you.

The lights dim and blink without fail, fading from white to a shade of daffodil to dark flaxen before disappearing and resurfacing yet again as alabaster. No matter how black the night sky is, the less-than-bright illumination never changes.

Neither does the rest of the scenery.

Next to the payment area are two vending machines, with one not functioning. It is dead, with the glass broken by a punch that left a large gaping hole in the dead center. Once when you accidentally touched the front wall while bending down to get your can of lemonade from the working one, it left a sticky residue that had you rubbing your palm on your sweater for what felt like an eternity. It somewhat helped, you guessed, but it also stained your clothes. The vending machine to its right was always out of most sweet drinks, often leaving you with the choice of coffee, lemonade, green tea, or water.

You don’t buy any snacks aside from strawberry Pocky and, if you are lucky, a chocolate bar.

But you do buy meals here because it is cheap. Usually fish with miso or a salad, but there have been times when you can find a premade sandwich.

The total cost comes to between 500 to 1000 Jenny. There is always a poster that claims the cashier is the employee of the month, though you are certain that she is the only one who works there.

The only thing that ever changes is the calendar behind her. The past dates are crossed out in red ink that is in the form of thick, scraggly lines. They remind you of the drawings you used to make as a child when your father was too busy screaming outside your door and your mother was too powerless to do anything but cry and yelp as he hit her. One time you drew them fighting, and when one of your maids saw it, it inevitably found its way to his desk.

Needless to say, he was not happy by any means.

*~*~*~*

The calendar behind the worker reads the 17th of April, 1998. On this day in 1985, your first and only ever friend, the head gardener’s apprentice, went missing. When you eventually gathered up the courage after waiting for hours outside, you went to your father’s room to ask where she was.

“She has been removed from the premises for distracting you instead of doing her job.” The answer you got was to the point, because when has he ever been warm to you? “I made sure that she had learned her lesson before she died. She was in pain the whole time. It was a shame to put a bullet between her pretty eyes. But at least she had a bit more use to me beforehand.”

You cried and cried until you threw up.

That is when your mother, the usual bandage over her left cheek this time, came in and sat on your bed gently, sadly.

She patted the area next to her and slowly you stood up from the floor where you kneeled as you sobbed and went over. She asked you if you wanted a hug and you said no. She responded with a simple nod, respecting your answer. But then what she said next turned your tear-stricken face into a glare.

“She’s alive.” She muttered, along with thanks to God and a hold of the cross on her neck. 

“...What?”

Your mother shushed you when she heard footsteps coming to the door. When the sound eventually leaves further into the hallway, she leans into your ear while pointing to your vanity. Your gaze leads you to the dusty cat statue made of garnet.

It got shattered a little while ago when a maid cleaning your room accidentally made it fall to the floor. You felt bad for her as she was a new hire, so you never told anyone aside from your mother. You knew that if your father, the head of this household, ever found out he would punish her severely, even when he did not care for the statue at all. You got to choose, if you were lucky, which part gets whipped or cut off.

“Yes.”

Her short answer leaves you almost jumping up out of your seat. “...Huh?”

“At last week’s banquet, she caught the attention of your father’s wealthiest business partner.” She turns to the curtains covering the lone window in your room, her back now facing you. “She was tricked into boarding a car when the driver claimed you were inside waiting for her. To the partner in question, she is nothing but another pretty face to add to his collection.”

At the slight turn of the doorknob next door, you two go as still as wax people in a museum. “Why did he lie to me?”

“Why? Well, he certainly did not want you rebelling against his decision.”

“But I have never rebelled against him before.”

“I know.” Your mother lets out a sharp laugh, salty and sour. “I know you are always trying to be good, trying to stay under the radar. I know, I know because you are a lot like me. but now I am going to teach you a lesson about your father and the world at large. Remember that a man’s resentful attitude will always result in a woman’s agony, physical or otherwise, always. However, when things go right for a man, a woman is either praised like a dog or ignored until something goes wrong because it is never enough.”

You can’t breathe. “But why? Why, why, why? What did I do wrong? What could I have done right?”

She shakes her head. “Nothing. There is nothing you can do or could have done. No matter what, your faults will always be found. That is how most men are raised, to find, and how most women are raised, to hide.”

“...”

“Men’s hearts are such cruel, small things. Oftentimes they can only fit themselves in them, but there have been times where even they cannot fit.” She is still holding onto the cross charm on her gold necklace, firmer than she has ever held you. “They are cold, are or are almost dead. There is no room for people like you and me. No room at all. All they see us as is something to own, something with no feelings whatsoever, and whose only purpose is to please no matter the cost. Such pigs, all of them.” She murmurs some prayers that you cannot hear. “I want you to be better. I want what is best for you, what I never have been able to accomplish; run and live.”

She opens the drawer beside your bed, and you don’t do anything to stop her. It is not like you can hide anything, from her or anyone else in this house. Whatever is buried eventually resurfaces. She pulls out your rarely used bible, a thick layer of dust on the leather cover. It smells and makes you cough. She doesn’t though.

“At least your father does not force you to read this day and night.”

“Mmhmm.”

“It is one of the few things I appreciate him not doing, I do not want you to grow up hating the church.”

“I know.”

“He has made you hate a lot of things already.”

She turns the pages, dust flying around the cold air.

“He made me hate a lot of things too. Blankets, steaks, cameras. The color white, the color black, the color red. The sounds of belts unbuckling, the sound of laughter, the sounds of doors opening and closing and locking.”

You don’t say anything, only looking at her hands. Only in the dark can you not see her scars, her blooming wrinkles, and the bruises that are always fresh. 

You don’t say anything, because you have learned from a very young age that you are her only listening ear. You are the only one who keeps her head on her shoulders. You don’t say anything, because she is right. He has made you hate plenty of things. But, but, but. But you can’t hate him, and you can’t hate your mother.

You can’t hate her, because who knows what she would do when she finds out that no one cares about her pain in this hell?

“Mother.” You mutter, putting your head on her shoulder as you scan the text on the page that she selected. She does not stop you. 

“Yes, [First]?”

“Do you hate me?” You ask, trying so very hard to not let her see the tears that threaten to come out of your eyes. “Because… because… if I wasn’t conceived, you wouldn’t be here hurting, would you?”

You could swear that you heard her heart skip a beat.

“...I would not be here, yes.”

She is honest, for once. You know at least some of this situation is all your fault.

“Do you hate me?”

“...”

“Mother, please answer me.”

You hear a sniffle as she starts mumbling the words written. “‘A gracious woman gets honor, and violent men get riches.’”

You choose not to press on the subject. You don’t want her to suffer anymore.

*~*~*~*

You buy an orange-flavored Ramune soda, a pack of pork ginger instant ramen, and strawberry Pocky.

The total would come to about 600 Jenny if your quick calculations are right. You could get something extra, like a topping for your ramen or some chips. But would it be wise? You have never been someone who finishes their plate after you had ran away, so what if you just waste your money?

So, you decide not to get anything else.

You walk to the cash register.

You hear an explosion from the back of the building. Small sparks of white and orange. The lights go off before you can place your chosen items down, and you can hear the employee cursing under her breath. The breaker. What happened?

“Damn it, I don’t get paid enough for this shit.” She grumbles, putting her thumb and pointer finger on the bridge of her nose, rubbing. “No raises whatsoever. Only one here. Without me, this place wouldn’t be working, ungrateful pricks.”

Fighting the way your heart rate shoots up, you decide that talking to her would be best. It wouldn’t hurt to talk to someone aside from your boss, right? 

Maybe your anxieties would quell, and you can eventually graduate to talking to your co-workers, that would be a dream come true for you.

You haven’t had a friend, a real friend, ever since Rose was taken from you all those years ago. You still cry whenever you think about her. You miss her. Is she dead, is she alive?

You still blame yourself. If only you hadn’t talked to her, maybe she would still be with you. What kind of adult would she have been? A kind one, a responsible one? You would still be friends at least, wouldn’t you? Or would she grow to hate you, if she didn’t already?

You keep telling yourself that she wouldn’t and didn’t, but that is not what your mind tells you.

Is she dead?

You could picture a rotting corpse six feet under. An unmarked grave. Glassy, dead, amber eyes looking upward to anyone who looks down, helpless, pleading. You always liked them, always complimenting them much to Rose’s shy chuckles. She was so pretty, that much was true. You could only imagine how beautiful she would have been as an adult.

Her looks were a personal gift from God, the heavens, and the angels.

But if she didn’t have them, would she not have been treated like she was in the estate?

“Erm, excuse me,” You mutter, taking a few steps forward. “If you want I can go check it out.”

It is what Rose would do. She always liked helping others. You just wish that people would have appreciated it more and seen past her appearance. It was a double-edged sword. It helped her become the head gardener’s apprentice but also caught the attention of both your father and his business partners. You felt bad for her, and still do.

The employee turns around, her confusion prominent despite the dark. 

“Erm,” You mutter, looking down at your hands and entangling your fingers in one another. You could feel the heat rushing to your cheeks in embarrassment. “Is that okay?”

It takes a few moments to respond. Her surprise was unexpected, as you never spoke to her outside of asking her if she had change or telling her you hoped that she had a good night. Rose would be better at this kind of thing. You once had a dream that at a fast food joint, an adult her would order for you and correct the staff when they put pickles on your burger. It’s what could have been, funny moments like that. She had always been the one to take charge, you following her like a lost puppy.

You miss her so much.

So much.

The worker slowly nods. “...Okay.”

“...It’s in the back, right? The breaker.”

This is so awkward. Rose would be better. You wish she was here. Or your mother. Anyone.

“...Uh. Um… I like your eyeliner.” As soon as you say that, you curse at yourself, not wanting to sound like a creep. The woman’s confusion becomes even more prominent.

“...Thanks, and yeah, it’s in the back.”

“...Okay.” Jesus Christ. You turn away from her, the heat on your cheeks hot enough to be mistaken for a fever. This is not what Rose would have done.

“...You can leave your stuff here.” She says, and you quickly spin your heel and put your items on the counter. “It’s not like they are going to grow legs and run off, so relax.”

“...” You both chuckle, and you feel slightly better. “...Thanks. I’ll go now.”

“...” You start walking. “Wrong way.”

You stop.

It takes you a few seconds for you to move back to first base and go off in the opposite direction. As soon as you open the creaky steel door, strong rain and cold wind greet you, along with a loud clap of thunder and lightning.

Perhaps you could go back and get your umbrella from the stand by the door. But that would be even more awkward.

“Stupid. Stupid.”

“If we are lucky, the wind simply detached it or something. Not the best at this sort of thing, though.”

“I don’t think breakers detach.” You could picture her shrugging and scoffing at your murmur. “Sorry. Sorry. Just… sorry. I’m the best at this sort of thing either.”

You close the door behind you and start looking amongst the pitter-patter of the raindrops and gusts that nearly make you fall over. 

Stupid. Why do you make everything so weird? Rose would have been so much more charismatic. It was one of her strongest traits after all.

Stupid.

It’s hard to see. Trying not to trip over stones and cracked cement, you grip onto the wall and walk forward. Soon, you feel something.

“Ew, ew, ew!” You cry out, quickly moving your hand away from the slimy slug. “Ew!”

“You okay?”

“Uh, nothing. Just a bug. Yeah, just a bug.”

You hear a chuckle. Stupid.

“Sorry!” You exclaim, almost bowing your head. “Sorry! Really!”

Making sure you don’t touch the slug again, you keep moving.

Eventually, you find the breaker. But it wasn’t what you were expecting by any means. The damage almost looks like it was done on purpose, the way it was open and covered in soot. Did something get to it?

The breaker that exploded was a mass of melted metal that had been blown apart from the intense amount of heat and pressure. It was now barely recognizable as a single unit–parts of it scattered across the cement path and others having been fused and becoming something else entirely. The metal had been melted and blown upwards in the sheer force of the explosion, coating parts of the wall, wet grass, and roof with small, solidified droplets of metal. The ground around the remains of the breaker is burnt and scarred with traces of the immense fire that had consumed it.

It seems the rain put it out.

“No hope for this, huh?”

“Hey,” The employee calls out. “How bad is it? If there is nothing you can do, come back inside.”

So, you do.

The way she turns at you is robotic almost. A smile is on her face that was not there before. She nods when she sees you. Something tells you to not approach.

“It exploded into molten metal.”

“Oh well.”

Under the stormy skies, her gaze turns pale. Her eyes, seemingly captivating, lack any hint of vitality, while her lips curve in a disarming and saccharine manner. A shiver runs down your spine as you meet her gaze, every fiber of your being urging you to flee. Deep within your primal instincts, an innate awareness stirs, recognizing the smile as a charade, a mask of humanity that ventures into the realm of unease: akin to an artificial being adorned with synthetic flesh or a wax figure encased in glass. Those lifeless, white eyes, coupled with a forked tongue and an unsettlingly beautiful countenance, leave you with an undeniable sense of mistrust.

“You’re not mad? Really? Um…”

Something is off. What happened? She looks more like an imposter than anything else. But if she is, where did the real cashier go?

“Don’t worry.” She says, her voice oddly chipper and no longer confused by your awkwardness. “It’s fine. I’m quitting anyway, so it’ll be my boss’ problem.”

You turn your head. “Really?”

She nods. Something is off.

“Like really?”

You blink multiple times and you don’t think she does. She just stands there. Slowly, she nods. Something tells you to run yet again.

“Um… um… okay. Okay. I’ll just pay and leave. How much does it come up to?”

She shakes her head.

“Um. I have to pay. It’s thievery if I don’t.” You get closer. “It’s the law.”

“It’s fine.”

“I can’t just not pay.” You say, taking out your wallet from your sweater pocket. “That’s stealing. It’s wrong.”

Every action she takes is measured and precise, and she seems to move like a machine rather than a person. It’s as if she’s been programmed to act and talk in a certain way, and she doesn’t seem to have the ability to break out of that. She simply stares at you, not speaking.

Run.

You undo the metallic button, hearing the shuffling of paper Jenny within your wallet. “Um. Let me pay. Please.”

She simply shakes her head again.

“It’s fine.” The employee says, the smile still plastered on her face. There is quite more than a hint of blankness and detachment in her expression. She speaks in a mechanical and emotionless manner, her words delivered as though repeated from a script of carefully chosen sentences. Her movements are quick and precise, putting your chosen items in a plastic bag. There is no life or energy in her actions, instead, she moves like a mindless machine, performing her tasks before her without showing any personality of her own. Is it better to just accept it?

What should you do? What shouldn’t you do? Is she joking? Should you leave?

What would Rose do?

One of her hands grasps onto the plastic handles and she holds it out before you. There is no authenticity or warmth. Her eyes are blank. What happened? Should you ask? Should you just take the bag without saying anything further?

“Okay,” You murmur, obeying her silent command. “I hope you don’t get into any trouble though.”

*~*~*~*

Boss (9th May 1996 17:45)

Did you find anything?

Boss (9th May 1996 17:45)

Feitan found her heels nearby along with some blood, so she couldn’t have gotten very far.

You (9th May 1996 17:45)

Nothing yet

Boss (9th May 1996 17:47)

Try checking the stores nearby.

Boss (9th May 1996 17:47)

From the blood trail, she is most likely injured from running and trying to fix herself up in some sort of shelter.

Boss (9th May 1996 17:48)

She may have also discarded the rest of her clothes, not just the heels, and is currently wearing something else.

You (9th May 1996 18:15)

I found a dress and jewelry at the bottom of a lake

You (9th May 1996 18:18)

(image sent)

Boss (9th May 1996 18:20)

That’s it.

Boss (9th May 1996 18:20)

Disappointing. I’ll send over Pakunoda to ask people nearby.

You (9th May 1996 18:20)

K

You (9th May 1996 18:21)

Don’t cry, I’m sure we’ll find her soon :) 

Boss (9th May 1996 18:22)

I wasn’t crying.

Boss (9th May 1996 18:22)

I just thought she came around already.

Boss (9th May 1996 18:23)

This will set our heists back weeks.

Boss (9th May 1996 18:24)

She has planned this out for more than a year, it seems.

*~*~*~*

Bum, bum, bum. Dun, dun, dun. Whunnnnnn, wooooooo, ummmmmmm. You can’t hear anything else. The sounds sting your ears like an aggravated hornet. 

The darkness around you is solid, more so than the cracked, aged concrete path beneath your shoes. There is a tiny light in the distance; a streetlamp.

Silence.

“...”

“Have a good day!”

“...Thank you.”

Let there be light.

“Um…” You can’t see anything. The sounds… stopped. “...Time to go home.”

But the pain stays. 

It feels like a drill. 

It hurts.

“...” You feel deaf and blind. No, maybe something even worse. “...”

You turn around, to the dark convenience store, and you see the cashier still staring at you. “Have a good day!”

“...”

“[First]?”

…How does she know your name? Did you say it to her in the past?

When you look into the abyss, the abyss also looks into you.

“[First], dear.” She starts waving as you look at her. “[First]. [First]. [First]. [First]. [First]!”

There is nothing but emptiness. Is your name all she can say? What happened to her? It is like she has regressed. Like a storm cloud in summer, you do not wish for this pain. Now you feel deaf and blind and mute now. 

You almost wish that you were dead. All there is is pain. Bum, bum, bum. Dun, dun, dun. Whunnnnnn, wooooooo, ummmmmmm. 

Interruption. The sounds returned. Is this good? Is this bad? Does it matter at all? 

You walk. You don’t speak. Only walk. You can’t breathe. You can only move. Bum, bum, bum. Dun, dun, dun. 

Whunnnnnn, wooooooo, ummmmmmm. 

A hand clamps over your mouth.

You drop the plastic bag from shock, and then you finally hear something other than those sounds; glass shattering.

“Sh…” A voice, calm, along with the smell of oranges. “It’s okay.”

“...!”

“Don’t scream.”

The touch of lips, a man’s lips, on your ear, thin and hard. 

“Breathe. Just breathe for me, okay?”

But you can’t. The wind goes down your throat. It is suffocating. You can’t breathe. You smell oranges and something rotting, blood.

It stinks. It fucking stinks.

Christ. Get away. That stink. That fucking stink. Your body rejects it by continuing to not breathe.

“Sh… Breathe. Just breathe, for me, for you, for us.”

“...St… Sto-”

“Sh…” The voice is sweet, not at all sour, like candy. “Calm down. Nothing bad is going to happen. Just breathe. You’re going to pass out.” The lips and the scent of his breath are like salted leather in a butcher’s shop, stinky and rotting. “Calm down. Don’t worry.”

“...Sto… Si-”

“Breathe. Sh… It’s okay. Breathe.”

“...Ge… Sti…”

“Sh… Breathe. Breathe, [First]. Breathe. [First]. Breathe. Breathe. It’s okay. Don’t worry about all this. Breathe.”

When you finally do, you gasp, desperate. “...Huff… Huff… Huff…”

Get off of me, I can smell you. 

“There we go!”

Your vision clears up a bit. “...Huff… Huff… Huff…”

“Just keep breathing.”

“...Huff…”

You can smell him. You can practically taste him, with his mouth so close to you.

“Whew! That was a close one!” The man exclaimed, wrapping his other arm around your waist.

Pain. Get off of me. I can smell you, I can hear you, I can taste you. Get off of me. Please.

The pain still stays, in your chest and your ears, and your head. Oranges. Blood.

Get off of me.

Please–

A pain in the back of your neck and you go limp.

Darkness. Then pain again. You can’t move. You can only breathe. Bum, bum, bum. Dun, dun, dun. Whunnnnnn, wooooooo, ummmmmmm. 

*~*~*~*

SAINTSHORE SPACE THEATRE

UNDER THE DIRECTION OF RANDOLF URASLEF, GRETEL JAMES, AND QUINCEY J. ORATICE

PAUL DONSHEL CELESTE BAKER   ANNE CROAKS

AND

THE GREAT COMET THEATRE COMPANY

SWAN LAKE

ADAPTED BY MUSIC WRITTEN BY PYOTR ILLYICH TCHAIKOVSKY

INSPIRED BY THE CHOREOGRAPHY OF JULIUS REISINGER

WITH THE WONDERFUL CAST OF

(IN ORDER OF APPEARANCE)

Odette, the White Swan………………………………………………………….JEAN YVETTE

Odile, the Black Swan……………………………………………………………...JUNO LILOU

Prince Siegfried……………………………………………………………(the name is illegible.)

The rest of the list’s names cannot be read just like Prince Siegfried.

“She is simply beautiful. Just so beautiful. Simply wonderful, perfect.”

As the spotlights ignite, their scorching beams engulf you, causing you to shield your eyes with futile resistance. The sheer force of the light overwhelms your feeble defense. An ethereal audience erupts with exuberant cheers, applause, and whistles, resonating from vacant seats. Champagne flutes collide, men erupt with hearty laughter from their very core, and women unleash piercing screams akin to banshees.

The temperature rises and the noise intensifies, repeatedly, enveloping you in a symphony of overwhelming sensations.

Onlookers casually share their thoughts.

“Get off the stage, we want to see the play, not some stagehand!”

“Boo!”

“Fuck off!”

You run off crying.

“Where is that Odile girl?”

You run into a dressing room. One used by a woman wearing a black dress. She is so pretty. Her long strawberry blonde hair falls off her bare shoulders, clearly just done with a flat iron. There is a burning smell in the air. Smoke. When her gold eyes meet yours, she marches towards you and slams the door shut.

You can almost hear sobbing coming from the other side. Cries.

“So lonely…” The woman mutters. “When will it ever be enough?”

The voice sounds familiar. Her eyes. Her hair.

Nostalgia. Memories you would much rather forget. The basement. The imaginary ripping of clothes and tears and men’s laughter.

“I can’t do this much longer…”

Someone else knocks on her door. You want to scream.

“Come out, dearest.”

The devil. Tall with curved horns and a forked tongue. You want to warn her. 

You want to save her. “I’m not going to harm you, I am going to make you happy.”

You are so focused on whether the woman opens the door or not that you do not notice what happens next until it is too late. A clawed hand on your mouth. A tongue licking your ear. Tasting your sweat. Your tears. Laughter. The rest of the world disappears, and the only one there aside from you is the one behind you.

Sh… Sh… Sh… Sh… Bum, bum, bum. Dun, dun, dun. Whunnnnnn, wooooooo, ummmmmmm. 

Get off of me. Please.

“Breathe. It makes things more fun for me.” The voice echoed like you two are in a cave.

You gasp for air, and the smell of blood and oranges fills your nostrils.

“...Huff…”

“That’s better.”

You turn around. There is a body of a man. 

But the scaled, furred, horrifying face of a demon.

“Good.” He says, smiling his sharp teeth. “Deep breaths, in and out, come on.”

You do what he says. He praises you again, you think. But you can’t hear it. Either that or you simply do not pay attention to it. What happened to the woman? 

“...”

“We should go.”

The woman. The devil, this other… thing.

“...Rose…”

The demon laughs.

“Wake up.”

*~*~*~*

The first things you hear come from a happy man’s voice. “My boss’ girlfriend ran away more than a year ago you see, and he’s been heartbroken ever since. I want to prevent that kind of loss from happening to me. Real pretty one, too! He didn’t expect it, but I don’t blame her. After all, she’s been held captive for more than a year, she had to try to escape eventually.”

…The first thing you feel is lace on your neck. A collar.

It does not tickle or hurt. It itches. 

A cold hand plays with it, and it almost chokes you. At your discomfort, the man laughs.

“You are so cute.”

Something metal is on the collar, and it blinks a small red light.

[haruharuz]

Dump & Go meals are probably going to be some of the easiest meals for people who struggle with depression, anxiety, or other types of disabilities.

If you're preparing for surgery, giving birth, or just feel exhausted all the time please look into them.

There's a few different types of dump and go meals.

Instant pot : VERY fast and efficient, you typically throw shit in there with MINIMAL work and press a few buttons and wait.

Crock pot: SLOW. Very slow. Your food will take hours to be ready so if you're going to be at home all day, throw it in there in the morning and it'll be done for dinner. For breakfast and lunch you can have easy meals like premade lunchables or sandwiches.

Pan: You throw everything on a big sheet pan and into the oven! Less dishes, simple and easy to do.

Stove: This one requires the most ACTIVE cooking. You'll need to stir/add/etc occasionally to check on it. Unlike the others where you practically add a couple things and walk away.

This also promotes eating at home and EATING in general. I'm no stranger to forgetting to eat for an entire day and then not eating only because I didn't have enough spoons to cook.

"Okay but how do I find them?" Go online, whether tiktok, youtube, or google and look up instant pot recipes, crock pot recipes, dump & go recipes, and freezer meal recipes.

MAKE SURE you thaw these out in the fridge! Every night before bed just pull one out and put it in the fridge :)

Edit: I will also make note! You can often find freezer meals that work WONDERFULLY ! An example is pre seasoning + cutting some chicken, potatoes, and broccoli. Label it CLEARLY with directions !

That means you can freeze a batch of 15+ dinners/lunches AT ONCE and then not have to panic about cooking. If you’re a rice lover like myself you can buy a small rice cooker and turn it on while the other pot goes and that’s IT that’s all it takes for healthy yummy dinner

[italianhomosexuality]

rant to me (i like the sound, i like your voice) on ao3

“Nico! You're finally here!”

The ever too-chipper voice took Nico out of his thoughts. He had plans that consisted of brooding and staring, but it seems like Will Solace didn't think that behavior is appropriate for a party.

If whatever it is that's happening can even be considered a party; the Apollo cabin and some other campers decided to get together near the lake, with some soda cans, Doritos bags, and sour gummy worms. There's some music playing and chatter going around, but Nico's foam earplugs do a great job at keeping the volume low enough so that it's not overwhelming. He plays with his fingers, practicing the alphabet in sign language. Tatiana, a daughter of Nemesis, was hard of hearing. Nico became close to her since both of them would usually sit in the shadows, a few feet away from the crowds. It was easy to be around her, and he was making an effort to learn sign.

Will's voice was a little muffled by the earplugs, but taking them out would be much worse. Nico just gestured towards him, pointing in a general direction that is a little further from the noise and confusion. Will understood, because of course he did. They walked a few steps in silence, and Nico didn't bother correcting Will that he'd been here for a few good minutes now, he just didn't want to interrupt Will's conversation with Connor.

He wasn't wearing his usual orange shirt; the blue fabric suits his eyes and looks nice under the moonlight. Nico knew he's clad in cargo shorts and flip-flops without even having to look down—that's what he wears all the time, even when Nico thinks about him before going to sleep, when he thinks of the two of them under the soft orange of a sunset, sharing McDonald's fries, maybe making jokes, hands just one or two millimeters away from each other, itching to touch, aching to be intertwined…

He couldn't afford to think about that right now.

As they reached a tree, Nico offered Will a sweet smile. They were far from the crowd, watching from a distance so that they could hold a conversation even with the earplugs. It's the little things Will does; the accommodations, the giving, the gifting, the understanding, the treating him as an equal that makes Nico have some thoughts that he'd rather keep to himself.

(“Nico, I've noticed you wince and flinch when it gets too loud. What do you think of trying some earplugs? They might help. I wear them sometimes.”)

(“Nico, can you come body double me? I need to clean the infirmary and I can't do it if I'm just there by myself.”)

(“Nico, I have bad days too.”)

(“Nico, would you mind hanging around for just a little longer? I had to treat a head injury today. I don't think I'll ever get over it.”)

“Have you been having fun?” Nico asked, feeling the deep rumble of his voice in his chest. He only now noticed how Will's eyelids and cheekbones seemed to sparkle and glimmer under the moonlight. Lou Ellen must have been experimenting with makeup again.

“Yes! It's been good.” Will raised his voice just enough so Nico could still hear him through the earplugs. It's the little things, Nico's brain supplied.

“How was your day?”

After a lot of practicing with other campers, Nico realized that he enjoyed asking questions. They were an easy way of navigating a conversation and he had a premade list of questions to use in any social setting. For the most part, he asked and listened, keeping only a few bits of information, glancing at the other person's forehead and nose bridge occasionally to mimic eye contact. With Will, however, he didn't have to overthink. He'd ask, but because he actually wanted to know. He'd look at the ground while paying the most attention he's ever paid. He'd fidget and fiddle with his necklace, humming and nodding, while storing every single bit of Will's stories, stitching guides, camp rules, and so much more.

“It wasn't that great, if I'm being honest,” Will said, picking at his fingernails, “but I've been managing. It was just… hard. At the infirmary. Being by myself.”

“You could have asked me for help,” Nico said, swinging back and forth on his ankles. “I didn't do much today. I could have at least been around. Make you feel less lonely.”

Ever since Will started opening up about his mental health and struggles with himself, Nico found it easier to do so, too. Some campers thought of the Head Counselor of the Apollo cabin as this perfect, do-no-wrong, ever-happy, feel-good Care Bear. Will played the part really well, having fooled Nico at the start, but then he understood. He saw the insecurities, the blood—Will's own—pooling and drying around his fingernails, the teeth marks on the bottom lip, the nervous ticks that would come out after an especially long day. Sometimes, though their wounds were far from equal, Nico felt as if he was looking into a mirror. Maybe not a mirror, but a murky reflection on a lake. A resemblance, something similar enough to his own, but with different shapes and jagged edges.

So, as Will listed his fears and how he wished so, so badly he could be someone else, Nico felt comfortable enough, for the first time in his life, to revisit his self-hatred and coax it out for a walk. Will took it and acknowledged it, but didn't yell at it or scare it away. It was almost as if he said, “Hey, I have that, too,” and Nico finally understood the many meanings of the word gratitude.

Nico never thought he'd be able to help someone feel less lonely. He'd also never thought he'd withstand a party—a get-together—just to catch a glimpse of blonde, defined curls and butterfly-blue eyes.

It's the little things.

“I know what you will say, but…” Will caught himself, stopping mid-sentence. “I didn't want to be a bother. A hypocrite, I know, but this happens sometimes. I'll try to not let it happen again.”

“Good.” Nico smiled, feeling the warmth from inside.

It was warm enough that he'd ditched the aviator jacket, but he still kept the jeans. The breeze coming from the lake was a nice touch to the night. He looked down, finding a spot dry enough for both of them to sit, and reached out to tug at Will's hand.

He couldn't pinpoint when he had gotten so… used to physical contact. When he had started to initiate it, even. But then again, he couldn't pinpoint when Will had become Will.

Will took the hint and sat down right beside Nico, scooting closer to him so that the skin on his calf touched the black denim. It was a common position to them. Comfortable. Nico's back didn't hurt as much and he didn't feel pressured to maintain eye contact. Will got to relax his posture and relax his legs from standing all day.

“Do you want to talk about what happened today?” Nico initiated, fingers tapping on his knee. “About what made you not have such a great day.”

No one had ever ranted to Nico. They were always afraid he wouldn't care or that they would be putting too much on him, as if he were a thin, fragile table, built to break at any point. Will didn't.

So Will said, “Yeah, I think that will help,” and started.

Nico listened.

He made sure to store every tidbit of information in his Will Solace-shaped mental drawer. He would remember, in the future, that the infirmary had a shortage of darker-colored band-aids, and he would point it out next time he and Will went supply shopping. He would remember, in the future, that Kayla had offered Will coffee with hazelnut creamer and he drank it all so as to not dismiss her, but he actually hated that flavor.

(Nico already knew that. If he wasn't having his coffee black, french vanilla was the go-to.)

He would remember how Will's fingers flexed as he told Nico how he had to patch up this new camper, almost as if he was going through the motions again. He would remember how Cecil's comment about his off-tune singing while washing his hands post-procedure made Will's heart sting, though he was used to the mockery, but it just hadn't been a good day. He would remember that Will hadn't slept well that day because the sheets had been recently washed and someone had used fabric softener on them, causing the texture to be plastic-like and that it made Will's skin itch. He would remember, and he would fight against every part of his brain that forced him to forget.

Once Will deemed his rant finished, Nico finally looked at him. He looked… pretty. The golden hue that came from the sun was perfect for Will's features, but the silver complimented him. It was the missing part. It hit his skin and bounced right back, catching on the glitter on his eyelids, cheekbones, and cupid's bow, making the chapstick on his lips shine a little more, exposing the chipped pink nail polish on his fingernails.

Nico didn't think boys were supposed to be considered pretty, but most common rules made no sense to him, anyway. Will was pretty. Accepting that fact had been complicated enough. He would not put up a fight against his thoughts.

“I like hearing you talk,” Nico confessed, straightforward as always. “The sound of your voice is very calming, like a stream of water. Constant.”

“That was a very sweet compliment, Nico,” Will replied, smiling wide. “Thank you.”

“You're welcome.”

In the background, the party was still happening. Nico could hear laughter, cans being opened, fire crackling, stomping, soft tones and chords. But Will was next to him, seemingly not wanting to go back to the crowd, so he just settled into his makeshift seat a little more.

Maybe, in the future, Nico could ask Will if he liked him back. For now, he'd rather keep making a list of the little things. Little by little, he could have Will. He just needed some time to build up courage. Maybe, in the future, Will would slip out his ideal love confession or first date.

Nico would remember.

[lee-aveyourmark]

pov: you're doing grocery shopping with nct dream

∘.∙°. masterlist Warnings: mentions of food and eating; physical affection - hugs, kisses, everything to make you cringe

mark Constantly brings up the other Dreamies when finding foods that remind him of them. It's sweet to see how much he cares for them, but when he's stopping every 30 seconds to give a backstory for an item that catches his eye, it's not hard for your pout to come out. Will shut himself up and exert some self-control when he notices your furrowed eyebrows. Nevertheless, you two still end up buying some snacks for the other Dreamies. Likes to share one side of his wireless earphones with you. However, you begin to walk ahead once he's turned up the volume and started grooving to the beat a little too passionately. Your calls for him to stop fall upon deaf ears, and it takes a light pinch to the nape of his neck to remind him that he's at the supermarket with grannies watching him busting moves. Some shopping trips are confidence builders for Mark as you encourage him to avoid premade meals and buy fresh produce to cook with. Giggles and hugs you tightly when you concede to buying more eggs than normal so that he can practice his sunny side up's. Takes pics of you two in front of the safety mirrors and develops an album on his phone from the number of similar photos.

renjun Sings to himself while shopping, and also harmonises along to whatever you're singing without knowing that he's doing so. Spends a considerable amount of time debating different options for each item. Maybe a little too much time, because by the time you've reached the seventh item on your shopping list, you're yawning and thinking about your cosy bed. Is not afraid to ask workers where certain things are. Is also drawn to demonstrations of new kitchen appliances more than food samples. Often ends up overbuying, either because he overestimated the amount needed or because there were many dishes that he wanted to try making but they all called for different ingredients in small amounts. Gets deeply offended when you ask some stranger for help in grabbing something from the top shelf. Literally scoffs to himself, rolls his eyes, places his hands on his hips and glares at you and the stranger from afar. Gives you the silent treatment for two minutes before breaking because he forgot what was the next item on the shopping list which was in your possession. Also breaks when you slide your hand into his and do not let go even when he tries to walk in the other direction.

jeno Judges everything in consideration in reference to Jaemin. Choosing what cut of meat to get? Jeno thinks Jaemin said that this cut was best for its price point. Not sure what brand of matcha powder to buy? Jaemin mentioned one time that this certain brand has a really nice kick, so you should probably get that. Scratches the back of his neck when you put the chosen matcha powder back with an adamant shake of your head, reminding the samoyed that this Jaemin is also the same Jaemin who drinks coffee with six shots of espresso. Most of your shopping trips are done after 11am because Jeno just... loves sleep. If it's before midday, he's shuffling down the aisles in slides and slight bedhead that he tries to cover up with a hood. He's also still bleary-eyed and stifles a yawn while tugging on your sleeve to help him navigate through the store without bumping into anything. Becomes more awake once he munches on some samples. Pushes the cart leisurely with one arm and holds your hand with the other, gently stroking your knuckles. Sneaks candids of you picking things off the shelves and comparing items. Seeing you bite your lip in deep thought makes him want to kiss you so bad, but he'll wait until you're alone. He'll also save the pics for later when he misses you and needs a reminder of home.

haechan Takes turns pushing the cart, but sometimes he'll have a mind of his own and force you to push it against your will while he runs off. There's a 50-50 chance of him making a small toddler cry by smiling at them. Will always opt for the spiciest option there is, and argues that it's the right choice. Tries to convince you by reasoning that you should just learn to eat spicier or dilute your portion with water. When threatening to break up with him because of his stubbornness, he reluctantly swaps for one spice level below and then two upon catching your glare. Picks a random item off the shelf every 5 minutes and makes a cheesy pun about it to flirt with you. More often than not, you just shake your head and continue walking down the aisle with a smile. Suddenly stops you and grabs your face with his hands, staring at you intensely for a brief moment before leaning in with puckered lips. The whine he lets out after you push him away attracts the attention of everyone in the aisle. The only way to get out of the spotlight is to give him a quick peck which turns his whines into a squeal of satisfaction. Proceeds to cuddle his head into your neck while browsing the next two aisles, only retracting when you complain that you can't feel your shoulder anymore.

jaemin Every shopping trip is also a date. This man will convince you to wear a couple's article of clothing to receive coos from elderly women. Will also feed you all the samples there are to offer before trying them himself. Falls head over heels for you for the 138th time when your eyes light up and eyebrows raise in delight at how tasty a sample is. Proceeds to buy half the store's stock of that item. Then, he falls for the 139th time when you push the shopping cart with him, fawning over how cute your hands look next to his. He slips one hand between the space of your two so that your arms are intertwined, before adorning the biggest grin on his face when you link his arm with yours and rest your head on his shoulder. Will buy the ingredients for whatever dish you wanna eat later that day because he's self-assured that he can make the dish. Whenever he lets you pick out groceries, he'll never oppose your selections that go against his personal preference. Instead, he'll try to appreciate your selections or help you fix the dish's taste if your choice turns out to be unfortunate. Peppers your face with kisses once you two return to the car because he found all of your shopping mannerisms adorable, and holds your hand while driving back home.

chenle Probably the only member who'd do groceries in the actual morning. Because Chenle knows what he's looking for, grocery trips average around 30 minutes. That's including time for you to browse and select snacks that weren't originally included on the shopping list. Will go on a rampage and nonstop brag about you when an old lady comments on how sweet your relationship is. Has such a soft spot for the elderly and for children to the point of paying for their groceries if there's a cute family or a lonely grandpa waiting in line behind you two. Also likes to act as your sugar daddy, nonchalantly allowing you to toss two tubs of the most expensive brand of ice cream that the store has to offer into the shopping cart. Shares his music with you, but doesn't seem to be bothered with you listening when he accepts a call and starts talking with a cousin. Continues shopping after the call ends as if nothing happened, asking for input about certain grocery items. Bursts into laughter when he sees you standing stock still with awkwardness written all across your face, your cheeks as red as the bunch of tomatoes in his hand. Can't stop cooing you because of how cute your face was, and soothes you by buying your favourite drink from the cafe next door to the grocery store.

jisung Snacks, snacks and more snacks. 90% of the time Jisung asks you to go to the grocery store with him, it's because he's looking for snacks. Careful but confident when choosing snacks. However, ask him one question about buying actual groceries, and he'll spiral into a deep internal conflicting monologue about the 10 different brands of the one item you're looking for. Nevertheless, you let him and his snack connoisseur antics be because most of the time, his selections turn out to be pretty good. Pops along to whatever song the grocery store is playing, even if it's some old trot tune. Falls behind when stumbling upon a childhood ice cream, proceeding to become lost. Has to roam all the aisles twice before finding you. You're extremely confused when he approaches you with tears in his eyes and hugs your shoulders tightly. Shyly waves to all the toddlers who stare up at him in awe in passing, reaching out with a blush when he misinterprets the child's extended hand for a high-five. Uses his massive hands to bring the groceries to and from the car, and feels proud of himself when he only needs one trip to haul them out.

[ponett]

I see you cite Final Fantasy as one of SLARPG's inspirations, but I'm curious which FF games in specific you're referring to.

I would specifically cite:

FF1 - The GBA version was the first RPG i really sunk my teeth into as a kid, so this is basically my Rosetta Stone for What A Turn-Based RPG Is. Arriving in a new town and buying new gear and spells so you can go back out and fight monsters better. That sort of thing. As I explained in a Patreon post a while back, a certain character is also partially an homage to Bahamut's role in this first game

FF5 - The job system here very heavily influenced the direction I went in with the Spellbook system. Spellbooks were initially envisioned as premade "decks" with different combinations of spells, sort of like the premade chip folders you sometimes receive in Mega Man Battle Network, but playing FF5 inspired me to make all of the Spellbooks more thematically distinct and treat them as a subclass system

FF3 - On a completely different note, I can't stand how FF3 handles its job system, which also influenced Spellbooks. I hate how certain bosses all but require certain jobs, and if you don't have that job leveled up already then you just have to stop and grind. So I made it so that Spellbooks have all of their abilities unlocked by default with no need to level them up, and no point in the game explicitly requires the use of any one Spellbook. Your build is up to you

FF6 - Pretty foundational to my understanding of how to tell a story in a top-down 16-bit RPG, with the little sprites all running around and emoting for the audience sort of like it's a stage play, and the battle system often being used as a storytelling device. I'd also cite the relics (along with Paper Mario's badges) as the inspiration for SLARPG's Charms, and there's probably a little Kefka in Javis

FF7 - Again, this is just a foundational game to my understanding of JRPG storytelling. I might point to FF7 as the first RPG I played growing up that was focused on the dramatic arc of a single predetermined main character who already has relationships with most of the other main characters when the story begins, as opposed to either a silent protagonist, a customizable character, or a protagonist who isn't particularly supposed to stand out among the ensemble cast. (FF4 also did this with Cecil, but I haven't played as much of FF4.) A lot of things in FF7's story remain kind of the gold standard for me, like how the bombing mission is still one of the best intro sequences to any game ever, so I refer back to it a decent amount. You can definitely see some influence from Cloud's story in Melody. And Anthony and I also compared a certain set of optional bosses to the Ruby and Emerald Weapons when we were planning them out

FF9 - Maybe some broad aesthetic influence. I haven't played as much of 9 as you'd probably assume

FF14 - I had yet to make it all the way through ARR before SLARPG came out, but I'd tried making a White Mage multiple times, which led to Gridania being an early influence on what I wanted Greenridge to look like. I don't think the influence is that recognizable in the final product, but you can kiiiiiiiiiinda see it in some of the architecture if you squint

[mossyivy]

𝗡/𝗦𝗙𝗪 𝗔𝗹𝗽𝗵𝗮𝗯𝗲𝘁

Eddie Munson, Jonathan Byers, Robin Buckley, Steve Harrington x Reader

𓆩Eddie Munson𓆪

ᗢ𝗦𝗙𝗪

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Personally I feel like Eddie isn't a massive physical affection kind of guy. PDA is a no go for him with the exception of hand holding and the occasional kiss on the cheek or lips if he's feeling generous.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Let's be honest, this friendship has to have started through a mutual interest or a friend of a friend type situation.

Like maybe you frequent a game shop Eddie likes but can't shop at frequently. An you know the store inside out, better than the own employees do. You point him in the right direction of new stuff the store just got in or even the sales rack.

He starts talking your ear off about the latest D&D manual and suddenly he's asking for your home phone number so he can invite you to some of his future campaigns he hosts at his trailer.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Although I don't think Eddie is a big affection guy, he does like cuddling. But he has to be the big spoon or at least holding you to his chest in some fashion. If not, it's just uncomfortable and too awkward to him to enjoy it

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

I think Eddie craves connection but doesn't want to quite admit it. But once he meets "the one" it's like he's in a whole new world and understands why people talk about marriage.

As for cooking, Eddie grew up in an environment of needing to get by constantly. (We love Uncle Wayne, best uncle ever.) And I'm not 100% sure where Eddie would exactly fall.

But I do know this mf is the king over microwave meals or cooking something with step by step instructions. Mostly because I think he can't focus long enough to follow an actual recipe versus something premade.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Young Eddie would have no problem dropping someone like a sack of potatoes.

Older Eddie would take a lot to get to the point of loving someone so I think he'd really struggle breaking up with someone if the time came. But if it did come to that (as much as I hate to admit it) I don't think he'd be able to do it face to face and probably do it over the phone.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

(See Domestic for the commitment part of this question)

Eddie would definitely be the type of guy to just refer to his partner as his wife/husband or anything else gender non-conforming.

But one day Eddie would probably just drop the question on you and you'd end up just getting papers signed instead of having a massive wedding or something.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Physically Eddie is gentle (unless...)

Emotionally... I feel like Eddie is too blunt for his own good. Even if he's not intending to be an asshole he just comes off that way by nature of his personality. A relationship with him is not for the faint of heart.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Like I said before affection isn't really something Eddie thrives at BUT I do believe this man is a hugger. The kinda guy that bear hugs you and lifts you off the ground if he hasn't seen you in a while.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

When Eddie falls, he falls hard. But my God is he emotionally constipated...

I feel like it take him a good few months to say "I love you". Unless his partner says it first then I think he'd have zero problems with saying it. Maybe even saying it more often than his partner.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

I don't think Eddie gets jealous per say. But I do think he has his boughts of thinking he isn't good enough for his partner.

Or even possibly just waiting for the "inevitable" to happen (i.e. being broken up with)

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Eddie is not experienced in the slightest...(don't come for me, we love him but be honest with yourselves he was "different" and that was frowned upon in the 80s)

At first he'd probably stick with simple pecks but slowly learn what you like and adjust to that following your lead.

I really do believe Eddie is the kinda dude to squish his partners face and give them a hard kiss on the cheek until their face scrunches up. Which makes him laugh before going back to doing whatever he was doing.

But for him... He likes being kissed on the back of his hands. Think about it, his hands are probably all calloused from playing guitar for so long and if you can appreciate their beauty... He'd melt!

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Eddie is fun uncle material. He'd entertain the hell out of kids. Probably be the one little kids would run to with books because he's not afraid to do goofy voices or act out things from the book while reading.

Definitely would be adored by children with how imaginative he is alone.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Eddie gives me grumpy in the morning vibes. If you wake him up before noon on weekends you're definitely getting dirty looks unless it's life or death.

But when he does get up he's the one making the coffee strong enough to grow hair on Sasquatch's chest.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Eddie is a night person. If he's not doing gigs at the Hideout he's at home practice or watching movies with you. I imagine he probably has an extensive collection of recorded VHS' of the most random ass movies you could think of.

And only half of them are labeled. So you two could be watching the original Halloween movie and suddenly after it's over you get the opening credits to Risky Business out of nowhere.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Eddie is mostly an open book when it comes to random sprinkles of information about himself. But feelings take a while.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Eddie is probably a 50/50 kinda guy. He can have the patience of a saint and then the next day he's irritated by something taking too long in the microwave.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Eddie has a hard time remembering things (except your birthday, he most definitely wrote that on his arm or hand the second you gave him that information) but if someone asked him about a random obscure thing about you he'd be able to rattle off the most weird shit possible.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

Probably when one of you confessed first. Most likely because that was the biggest relief Eddie's felt in ages but he was also incredibly happy.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Eddie probably is protective to a fault (I mean c'mon look at what he's been through)

When it comes to defending you he's more than happy to step up and get in between you and whoever is trying to cause problems.

Now could he win a fight? Depends. If the person he's fighting is massive, no. But if it's equal grounds, there's no doubt in my mind he could lay someone out.

But Eddie getting protected is different. He would most likely just pull you out of the situation of you defending his honor and tell you how it wasn't worth arguing with someone like that. Regardless he'd be thankful though.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

He's the epitome of try. Eddie isn't a massive romantic by nature but he sure tries his damn best to make his partner happy.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Leaving his shit all over the place! This man is a mess when it comes to keeping places tidy.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Eddie doesn't give a shit how people look at him. He solely dresses for himself and himself alone unless it's a special occasion.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

As much as I'd like to say yes, I really think Eddie could go his entire life without having a partner. Especially with the career he wants to have in the future.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

He'd most definitely make you look through his collection of old guitar picks and pick your favorite one.

Once you did you'd see him messing with it for a while and come back to you later with it tied to a piece of twine and into a makeshift necklace.

Just so you could have a piece of him whenever he's not around.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Judgemental people, if he so much as got a sign of his partner being judgemental he'd be out of there in record time.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Definitely passes out around 4am every night and wonders why he's always so exhausted.

But also somehow the type of guy to take a 45 minute nap and act like he slept for 8 hours.

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

ᗢ𝗡𝗦𝗙𝗪

A = Aftercare (what they're like after sex)

Attentive. Probably likes to spoon and play with his partners hair.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner's)

Chest guy... Yes, yes. Eddie is a boob man. He's a very simple man, he sees booba he's happy.

Now his favorite body part of his own (I know I mentioned this already but shhhh) his hands. Definitely his hands, he's got years of playing guitar built on those things. He's damn proud of them.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Strongest pullout game in the West. Not only does he live of the edge of almost cumming inside of his partner but he'd be the last guy to deny it really does feel better raw.

He's clean and knows you are too. Knows his partner takes proper precautions for birth control if needed so why mess with a good thing?

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Eddie is a frequent masturbater. It started as a stress relief thing and once he started seeing someone just became a habit when he starts thinking of them often.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they're doing?)

I wouldn't say Eddie is experienced but very interested in making the experience the best it can be for whoever he's with.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Without a doubt in my mind it's cowgirl. He just really enjoys watching his partner riding him and the reaction they have whenever he bucks his own hips up to match their pace.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Eddie is definitely cracking jokes during sex. You can't even count the times he's tossed you onto his bed onto to flop next to you and give the usual "You come here often" gag. An even though you've heard it dozens of times the look on his face, that cheeky grin he gives everytime just makes you laugh.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

I think Eddie wouldn't care to keep himself trimmed unless his partner asked him too since his hair is so damn thick and curly.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

A little goofy but keeping his jokes to a minimum to not ruin the moment completely.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

(See Dirty Secret)

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Bondage (to you), Hair Pulling (to him), Dirty talk (both ways)

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

As much as a risk taker I think Eddie is I don't think he'd like adventuring outside the bedroom. Maybe the back of his van if you're both feeling impatient enough to not wait till you get home.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Probably his partners outfit choices. Wether it's fishnets and a tight skirt or just walking around in his old band T-shirts he just finds his eyes constantly wandering to you.

N = No (something they wouldn't do, turn offs)

No exhibitionism

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

I'd say it's about 50/50. Maybe slightly leaning towards giving because he really enjoys watching his partner enjoy the fruits of his labor a little bit more than getting something of his own.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Eddie is definitely a slow and sensual type of guy. He likes to take his time and unravel every part of his partner and make the moment another time to remember when their brain wanders the next day.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Don't think he's a fan of them. Like I said he likes to take his time.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Eddie is definitely open to experiment. He even encourages it.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Since Eddie isn't really the athletic type I think he's good for at least 2 rounds without any real issue.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Eddie most definitely has a collection of toys stuffed under his bed in a box. Hell he even has his handcuffs proudly on display on the rail of his bed.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Eddie is a massive tease. He's definitely the type to walk up behind his partner when they're doing something and suddenly his hands are under the bottom on your shirt. Playing with the waistband of whatever bottoms you're wearing at the moment. Ghosting ever so lightly as his thumbs pull at the band and make it snap against your skin.

All while his head is sat on your shoulder watching what you're doing and talking about mundane stuff.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Eddie is mostly quiet, with the exception of heavy breathing and the occasional grunt or groan.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Loves it when you call him Sir.

Accidentally found out when you were being sarcastic in response to something he said with "Yes Sir." And he immediately got hard and a little bit embarrassed.

X = X-ray (let's see what's going on under those clothes)

Eddie to me is one of those skinny nerdy white boys that just be packing heat for no damn reason... Shower not a grower at a solid 7.5 inches and girthy as a mother fucker

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Probably pretty average. Maybe craves actual sex 2-3 times a week.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Eddie has maybe 10 minutes tops in him after sex. He makes sure you're okay and taken care of and then suddenly he's sleeping like a hibernating bear.

𓆩Jonathan Byers𓆪

ᗢ𝗦𝗙𝗪

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Jonathan is a rather private guy so PDA is usually a no go for him. But when you guys are alone or among good company he's decently affectionate.

More often than not he'd probably be holding your hand just has a hand on you some how.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Jonathan is an amazing friend but it takes a lot for him to consider someone a friend. I have a feeling he's a life long friend kind of guy.

So his friendship started in early childhood (probably Kindergarten or 1st/2nd grade) and you two basically grew up together. Most definitely one of those friendships where you'd call his family, your family by extension.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Jonathan is definitely a cuddler. He'd probably want to be big spoon out of habit but if you asked he'd be more than happy to let you hold him.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

He would most definitely want to settle down but not until his late 20s/early 30s. Jonathan loves his family dearly and definitely would want one of his own someday.

Jonathan is extremely self sufficient. He can do most house work (I think he really hates doing laundry though) and cooks extremely well from living as basically a second parent to his younger brother.

He also strikes me as someone who could pull together very cheap meal that are extremely good.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

As we saw his previous relationships... (*Cough, cough* Nancy *cough*) He'd probably ride that relationship until you break up with him or it dies. Unless something major happened or you fuck up badly he's not letting you go.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Jonathan to me would make it very clear how much he wants to marry his partner the second he starts thinking about it. He'd probably propose and you two would be engaged for a few years and slowly save up for your perfect little wedding surrounded by everyone you care about.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

He's quite literally the epitome of gentle in every way. Especially with how he grew up with his parents constantly arguing and with how his father was, he'd want to be the exact opposite of him.

Physically, Emotionally and verbally all around Jonathan is gentle.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Jonathan adores hugs! He'd be the kind of boyfriend to hug his partner constantly and maybe cling just a little bit but not too much.

At the beginning of a relationship though he'd be too in his own head to hug but would eventually work up the courage to ask. But once he got that first one it be hard to get him to not want to hug you.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

I can imagine Jonathan being in love before even getting into a relationship with someone.

Would probably just blurt it out haphazardly one day and you say it back. Followed by a surprised stare from him, forming into a smile. You'd have a conversation oh what exactly you both meant by it and now you're together...

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Much like Eddie, I don't think Jonathan gets jealous but he does think he isn't good enough for his partner. Maybe even would fear that he's being "too much" on occasion and wonder if he's going to lose you.

But since Jonathan isn't emotionally constipated he voiced his concerns with his partner and actually talks it out. To which he is reassured and knows you love him very much.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Jonathan is definitely a soft kisser. Slow, passionate and full of love everytime his lips touch yours.

He's definitely a temple kisser. But for him, he would probably not admit it but he really likes when you rub your nose with his after a kiss on the lips.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Great with kids, better with older kids though. He is a family man after all, he definitely had to have picked up something from watching his Mom take care of him and his brother growing up.

But babies... Babies are his downfall. I think he'd be so scared of dropping a baby or hurting them by not holding them propy. That it takes a lot of time for him to not be nervous around babies anymore.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Younger Jonathan isn't much of a morning person. Struggles getting up in the morning but pushes through it.

Older Jonathan is most definitely a morning person through and through. He's up at the ass crack of dawn to go take pictures of nature and back in enough time to make his partner breakfast and head to work.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Night's with Jonathan consist of him reading poetry while you do your own thing in the same room as him. You two don't need to constantly do activities together to spend time together. Merely being in the same room is enough to make you both happy.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Once you get past the threshold of Jonathan's trust he's an open book to you. If he trusts you, he's telling you everything and anything you're curious about. But only if you ask.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Jonathan has the patience of tired mother.

Very patient but once he's past the boiling point it's best to just leave him alone for a little while.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Knows you like the back of his hand. Jonathan is the observant type so most of his information on you is just him watching your actions and not him asking.

Often you'd be surprised to get a random little gift of something practical because he noticed you were in need of it.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

Probably your first anniversary together? Jonathan would make sure that was the most romantic night he's ever shown you and continue to sweep you off your feet from that point on.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Jonathan is definitely protective. He's a quiet guy who doesn't talk often but if something happens he's more than willing to step in an defend the one he loves. We already know Jonathan can hold his own in a fight.

But for him, Jonathan usually doesn't expect to be protected he's use to being the protector. Probably wouldn't know how to process it at first because no one outside of his family has stood up for him before.

Eventually he'd be thankful though.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Jonathan is really caring in general so I don't think he'd really see his good treatment of his partner as "putting in effort" and just simply view it as everyday things he does.

But Jonathan is extremely thoughtful and tends to get more practical gifts over shiny and new things.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Being too quiet. I know I've said Jonathan is in touch with his emotions but he still has his boughts of holding in things he thinks are too heavy.

Almost to the point where he tends to boil over and spill his guts every once in a while.

Aside from emotional things I think Jonathan would have a hard time letting go of sentimental things like random movie ticket stubs from dates you've been on, to a sweater that could be used as a rag it's so old and beat up. But he refuses to get rid of it because it was a gift from your first anniversary together.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Jonathan doesn't think he's attractive and is honestly baffled how he caught your eye in the first place. But he does try to look his best when leaving the house. And goes the absolute extra mile when going out with his partner.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Yes. Jonathan adores his partner more than anything and if he were to lose them he probably wouldn't know what to do with himself.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Absolutely a coupon queen and sales rack fiend.

I could totally see Jonathan sitting at the kitchen table with a binder and the Sunday paper clipping coupons to save as much money as possible.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Someone who doesn't share his music taste. Jonathan would be the old guy to say "kids these days don't know good music anymore" and then turn on The Cure.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Light sleeper, sleeps on his side most of the time and every little noise he hears his eyes open immediately.

More often than not Jonathan probably isn't getting a full 8 hours of sleep a night, most likely 6 hours at best.

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

ᗢ𝗡𝗦𝗙𝗪

A = Aftercare (what they're like after sex)

The most attentive man on the planet. Cleans up, checks in with you constantly, gets you water and makes you at least eat a small snack after everything. Probably all while cuddling up to you and giving you little kisses in the process.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner's)

Jonathan most definitely loves you as a whole but really admires your face and how beautiful he thinks you are. And enjoys how expressive you can be.

If someone asked Jonathan what he liked about himself physically he probably wouldn't know how to answer the question. But if he really thought about it he would most likely pick his eyes.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Cumming inside his partner is an immediate no. Probably a real stickler about using condoms and still wanting his partner to take precautions of their own just to be safe.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Definitely has a polaroid of you naked that he said he got rid of ages ago. But everytime he tried throwing it out he just stared at it and couldn't bring himself to do it because of how beautiful he thought you were in the moment.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they're doing?)

Jonathan knows what he's doing most of the time but really appreciates a partner who's willing to be vocal and tell him where he can improve but also praise him when he's doing well.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

I know it's boring but missionary. Mostly because he likes looking at your face and seeing that you're enjoying yourself to the best of his abilities.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Serious, if you crack a joke during sex he'll probably laugh but not say one back and just continue on with everything. Needs to concentrate somewhat so he can stay in the right headspace.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Keeps himself trimmed after getting into a relationship.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Romantic and gentle during. Doesn't care much for rough treatment but loves seeing you enjoy yourself more than anything.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Only masturbates when stressed or hasn't had sex in a while.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Sensory deprivation (both), Praise (to him), Edging (to you)

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Leaving the bedroom is fine but the house? No. Definitely not. But if he had to pick a favorite place probably the living room on the couch. There's just something about the small space he really enjoys.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

You teasing him. Jonathan thrives on you teasing him with your body or even just saying something he wouldn't expect.

N = No (something they wouldn't do, turn offs)

No exhibitionism, no slapping or hitting of any kind

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Jonathan is definitely a giver more than a receiver. 25/75. He finds it awkward looking down at you when you go down on him that he can't focus enough to let himself feel good. So if he does get head he needs to be blindfolded so he doesn't have to worry about looking at you.

But when he goes down on you... The man acts like it's the last time he's ever going to see you every single time. Damn near rips your soul out of your body with how well this man can work his tongue.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Slow and sensual all the way. Really enjoys taking his time and being thorough with everything.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

(See Pace)

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Jonathan is open to experimenting as long as it doesn't include pain. He can't bring himself to even think about laying a hand on you in that way.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Jonathan makes sure to get you to cum at least twice before he even lets you near his dick. He could definitely go 3 rounds, has a slow refractory period.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

I don't think Jonathan has any toys but if he did it probably just be something simple like those finger sleeves with the bumps all over them.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Jonathan isn't the teasing type but he enjoys being teased a lot more than he'd like to admit.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Definitely the whimpering type. Not super loud but you'll definitely hear him every once in a while.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Jonathan is a Sub. There's no doubt in my mind that when it comes being in charge he lets you call the shots.

X = X-ray (let's see what's going on under those clothes)

Ah yes, another skinny nerdy white boy packing heat. Grower not a shower. Definitely has the appearance of an average joe but when you get him going, stands at 8 inches at least.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Jonathan isn't super driven by sex but he enjoys having sex at least twice a week. Other than that it's more of a "when you're in the mood" type of thing.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He stays awake for quite a while. Even if you're out like a light he's still holding you and watching you sleep for a while.

𓆩Robin Buckley𓆪

ᗢ𝗦𝗙𝗪

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Robin is moderately affectionate. She's happy to hold hands or hug in public but kissing is private or in the right company (a gay in the 80s... Need I say more?)

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

For Robin you'd definitely become friends because you frequent her job. After renting tons of videos you would start calling eachother by first names and just start talking about your shared interests. Become quick friends.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Robin isn't much of a cuddler but I do think she wouldn't mind it if her partner asked for it. But she definitely prefers be little spoon so her arms are free to move about while she talks.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

She'd definitely want to settle down. I could picture her getting a quiet little condo with a few cats.

Robin, surprisingly, is really good at cooking. But cleaning she can't focus long enough to fully finish each task. She gets bored really easily.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Robin would struggle but I feel like she could break up with someone. And it have to be over something major for her to end a relationship.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Robin falls hard and fast. Would definitely call her partner her wife (or something gender non-conforming) within a few months of being together as a joke between the two of you. But deep down she knows if she could she would marry you ina heart beat.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Robin is physically gentle but like Eddie can be harsh without intending to be. Her mouth moves faster than her brain can sometimes and she just talks without thinking.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Loves hug, absolute hug machine. Will run in for a hug and squeeze you til you can't breathe.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Like I said, when she falls she falls hard. And Robin can talk about her emotions pretty easily so I could see her saying "I love you" within 6-8 weeks of dating.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Robin is the jealous type... Hands down she doesn't like it when girls talk to you but she isn't territorial about you, just scared someone with swoop in and try being better than her.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Very soft, super soft lips. Always using chapstick because she forgets to drink water most of the time.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Young kids and Robin don't mix well. She finds them mostly irritating but she does have a soft spot for babies.

Older kids she doesn't mind and has quickly gotten use to due to being around the gang so often.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Struggle bus rider in the morning. Hates mornings, finds it difficult to wake up and tends to run late most of the time in the morning unless someone else is waking her up.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Robin is definitely a night person. Tends to stay up pretty late doing random shit around the house.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Robin is very open about herself and tends to talk more than necessary. She gives up information about herself without really thinking about it.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Very impatient if it's something she doesn't enjoy something. Robin tends to struggle with waiting without needing something to entertain her.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Robin would retain important information (important dates, favorite colors/animals, possible allergies) but if someone asked her on the spot it would evaporate from her brain as if she never had the information in the first place.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

Your first real date. Robin would set up a picnic in a nice clearing in the woods. You two had a romantic time and it also ended in your first kiss.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Robin isn't super protective of her partner but isn't scared to throw dirty looks at people who try starting trouble.

You on the other hand tend to be protective over Robin. She doesn't need to be coddled but quite enjoys being with someone protective.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Robin pulls out all the stops when it comes to her partner. Really thoughtful and fancy gifts. Cooks meals for you constantly and enjoys watching you eat what she's made for you.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Never on time/Gets side tracked easily. Though it's not necessarily her fault she tends to not have the best concept of time. It's so bad you've gotten into the habit of telling her you'll be leaving for places an hour in advance just in case.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Robin always wants to look her best for her partner. Constantly preening herself as she looks at her reflection while getting ready to see you.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Yes, Robin loves you with her entire heart. And she's attached now so being without you would suck for her.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Robin tends to find random things while out of the house and just picking them up off the ground.

Mostly she brings home rocks she finds cool and has a collection.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

People who are too serious. Anyone who gets too serious when it's not needed she doesn't want to be around. Robin understands needing to be serious but not all the time.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Robin tends to stay up later at night. Probably to around 2am, but ends up sleeping til noon or maybe longer if you let her.

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

ᗢ𝗡𝗦𝗙𝗪

A = Aftercare (what they're like after sex)

More than likely Robin will be wide awake still and want to do something together (watch a movie, cuddle up, maybe cook a meal) This is when Robin is at her clingiest and isn't afraid to show it by sticking to you constantly. (Not that you mind it)

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner's)

Your stomach, soft or not the few times Robin doesn't mind cuddling up to you she lays her head on your stomach and enjoys the comfort of it.

For Robin it's her smile. She simply just has a very beautiful smile that can and should be appreciated.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

When you first met Robin she was completely untouched, never even masturbated before. But once you started dating you showed her how to get off.

Now she has a slight obsession with getting her partner off by tribbing most of the time.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Nothing gets Robin going more than giving her compliments. And if you dare to call her a good girl she'll be putty in your hands.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they're doing?)

Very in experienced when you met. Probably only kissed before.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

(See Cum)

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Robin would be cracking jokes constantly. Probably so often it would break both of your focus unless you shut her up.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Extremely well groomed.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Robin would be goofy most of the time but once you're in the moment everything becomes sensual over time.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Now that she knows what she's doing, Robin tends to masturbate once in a while but would likely prefer sex.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Praise (to her), face sitting (both ways), hair pulling (to you)

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Definitely would like it all around the house, back of a car maybe even in the bathroom of a party you're at. But her favorite place would be in the shower.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Just being close to her partner and teasing her. She's pretty easy to get riled up.

N = No (something they wouldn't do, turn offs)

No Anal, no painful stuff

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

50/50 but part of me really thinks she'd like receiving a lot more.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

(See Goofy)

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Robin would be down for quickies.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

I could see her being paranoid about getting caught but once you reassure her she would enjoy herself and not really think about being caught.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Robin bounces back pretty quickly and has a lot of energy so I could see her going for a while.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

I could see Robin buying a double ended dildo or even one of those little vibrators that looks like lipsticks.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Robin isn't much of a tease but just very forward with what she wants.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

She's definitely a little louder when moaning. She's talkative by nature so I could see her being noisy.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Robin enjoys riding your thigh. So much that you end up buying a grind mat just for her.

X = X-ray (let's see what's going on under those clothes)

Robin probably has a smaller chest (b-cup maybe?) But has nice round hips.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Robin doesn't have a high sex drive but if you were to ask she'd be more than willing to go.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

She's a ball of energy so she'll be up for quite a while. Probably off do whatever activity she enjoys until the early hours of the morning and then falling asleep.

𓆩Steve Harrington𓆪

ᗢ𝗦𝗙𝗪

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Steve is affectionate mostly by words not actions. Tends to baby you (kind of)

But when he does things for you it's weirdly subtle stuff. Like tying your shoes, taking you out, buying you stuff he knows you like or just random little trinkets as "just because" gifts.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

He's very much a mom friend.

Constantly checks in on friends by asking if they're okay. He always asks you the most though. Plus he forces food and drinks on you whenever he's around so he knows you're definitely eating.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Steve probably isn't much of a cuddler but if you're having a rough day (or if he is) he's gonna want to cuddle. Prefers to hold you to his chest/facing eachother.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Steve is gonna want to put a ring on your finger the moment it feels appropriate. Probably would start talking about having a family together after being together for 6 months.

Fantastic at cleaning! Cooking?

...Steve is terrible at cooking. Man could burn water somehow. He can somehow burn something but have it still be raw in the middle.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Steve could end a relationship. It would crush him to dump someone who he loves regardless of what happens but he could do it.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

(See Domestic)

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Both physically and emotionally Steve is gentle. Comes off very harsh but never actually says anything that would be hurtful or mean.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Steve doesn't care for cuddling often but hugs. He loves hugs. Would be the kind of boyfriend who would hug you from behind when just standing somewhere.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

From past experiences (*cough, cough* Nancy again *cough) he'd probably be hesitant from saying it at first but if y said it before he did he'd be elated.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Oh he's definitely a jealous guy. Doesn't mind you hanging out with people (obviously) but if he sees someone hitting on his partner he's not gonna happy. Probably would go about flaunting how much he can hug/kiss/touch you in front of whoever decided to try talking to you. Just to rub it in that you're taken.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Steve is a fantastic kisser, definitely the best on the list from how much practice he's had. Like Robin he moisturizes, not because he doesn't drink water but he just wants to make sure his lips don't get dry or chapped.

He's a forehead kisser and I will die on this hill. He'd take your face in his hands and kiss your forehead. All while telling you how much he loves you.

Enjoys cheek kisses but specifically on his little beauty marks the most.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

We've all seen how Steve is basically mother hen with the Party. Babies adore him, small kids like him but he would probably find them irritating with the vast amount of questions they ask. Doesn't mean he doesn't have the patience for them though.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Steve wakes up early, but my god is he never on time in the mornings. Definitely hogs the bathroom just trying to get his hair to look right, it's gotten so bad you'd buy a vanity for this man to do his hair at out of fear of your bladder exploding eventually.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Beauty routines, and in bed by 11 at the latest, midnight if he really wants to push it.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

It would take a lot of trust for Steve to open up about himself. He's had a bad childhood and craves a family to be around but also has difficulty trusting just anyone with his past.

But once you break past that hard shell he's open and honest about everything he's been through.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Very patient. He has to be since he's the designated babysitter for the Party. Honestly if he wasn't as patient as he is he'd probably be balding by now from all the stress he'd be under.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Knows you like no one else. Pays extra attention to all your likes and dislikes. Probably even ends up correcting others when they say you like something or get something about you wrong.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

The first time you said "I love you".

You said it first in passing like it was nothing and he'd stand there stunned for a second. Ask you to repeat yourself and you would. Word for word with a smile to match your confession. He'd nod along with what you said, say it back before you continue the conversation and keeping a straight face.

But on the inside he'd be doing cartwheels and screaming with joy over it.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Very protective. Steve would be the kind of boyfriend to pull you closer or step in front of you if there's a problem. He may not have the best track record when it comes to fighting but he sure has the spirit.

But if roles were reversed and someone said something bad about Steve an you jumped down their throat defending him... Well he'd be shocked. He's so use to having people expect him to defend himself he wouldn't know what to say hearing someone defending him.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Steve is putting in THE MOST effort. At anytime he needs or wants to get you a gift he knows exactly what to get.

And not all of his gifts are practically but they're something he knows you'd like everytime.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Withdrawals after arguments. Steve isn't the most in touch with his feelings all the time and would probably have difficulty talking over issues with you after an argument but he'd try after taking time to cool off.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

I love Steve but oh my God he's like a bird at times...

Always preening himself to make sure he looks good for his partner or just in general. An no amount of reassurance of how attractive you find him even when he's a mess can make him calm down with it.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Yes, like Robin, once he's attached he has a hard time detaching (*insert 3rd Nancy mention here*). If anything happens to his partner or if y'all broke up it would honestly devastate him. He'd be pretty lost for a while only because of how much love he has for you.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

(Listen... I will go to bat for this headcanon, you can rip it from my cold dead hands!!!)

He'd be a fantastic teacher. Probably English or History teacher at Hawkins Middle School. Plus he'd be a coach of some kind. Even fills in for the Highschool Gym classes on occasion if needed.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Stuck up people. They'd remind him too much of his past self and how much of an asshole he use to be.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Sleeps like a rock most of the time but if you wake him up he does that scared mom gasp and jolt up. Like everything is emergency... But you're just waking him up cause he's hogging the blankets or something.

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

ᗢ𝗡𝗦𝗙𝗪

A = Aftercare (what they're like after sex)

Aftercare KING! Holding you to his chest with rubbing your back. Gives you soft kisses on the head and already had water prepared for after. Probably would want to take a warm bath together afterwards and just enjoy eachothers company.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner's)

Steve is an ass man... Touching it, squeezing it, smacks as he walks by just to mess with you. Just loves your ass with his whole heart.

For him... Surprisingly his arms. Steve is most definitely a lot stronger than he appears. His clothes tend to be a little baggy but he's got some nice arms that look even better when he's lifting something.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

This man would want to cum in side you any chance you let him. He's somewhat territorial and would probably see it as some way of marking his territory but also fulfilling another need itching inside him.

But if you weren't exactly happy with the idea of that he'd probably wear condoms or just finish on you.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Claims to be a Dom but is a service switch. He just really enjoys your reactions more than anything.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they're doing?)

Steve is the most experienced person on the list. He's dated a lot of people, slept with a few girls. Had at least 1 girlfriend. He definitely knows what he's doing when it comes down to it.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Doggy style, good position for your pleasure and he gets the perfect angle to smack your ass whenever he wants to.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

No Steve is serious. Can't crack a joke when he's in his head about performing well and making sure you're feeling the best he can give you.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

If you saw Steve before he dove into the lake in season 4 we know that man isn't shaving. Trimmed a bit maybe but nothing too major.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Very sensual and romantic. Slow in his actions and always has a hand on you somewhere.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Since getting in a relationship I think Steve doesn't see the need to masturbate. If he wants to get off he'll just ask or try getting you in the mood (taking concent into consideration of course).

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Breeding kink (to you), edging (to him), degradation (to you)

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Steve is not like anyone else on this list. He does not give a fuck where you two are if either are you are horny it's being dealt with asap.

Most of your experiences end up in a bed but if he had to pick a favorite place it probably the kitchen. There's been many of times you've ended up bent over a counter with him behind you in some fashion.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Just his partner doing mundane everyday things. One second he's just appreciating having you in his life and suddenly his brain is just shifting to the thought of how much he wants to stay with you forever and start a family with you. An something in him just keeps scratching at his brain with the thoughts of fucking you.

N = No (something they wouldn't do, turn offs)

No choking or cuckolding

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Prefers receiving because he prefers usithis hands on you and talking you through making you feel good instead.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Starts slow but sometimes gets carried away an becomes fast and rough. But you can be guaranteed that Steve isn't leaving you high and dry.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Steve usually refers taking his time but sometimes he just can't.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

(See Location)

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Steve is in good shape so I'd imagine he can go for a while. I'd say 3-4 rounds if he's really in the mood.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Definitely owns a vibrator, probably an egg vibrator he likes using for extra stimulation when he's inside his partner.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Oh Steve is a massive tease. He'd go as far as to mock you if you end up trying to beg for him to touch you even. He'd never pass up the chance to degrade you.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Listen... Steve is probably still stuck in the whole stigma of "men shouldn't moan" but when you're on top of him... It's like he becomes a completely different person. Whiny, moaning mess who can't seem to keep him mouth shut for long.

Tries to save face by shit talking but gets shut up pretty quickly with a grind of your hips on him.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Steve as multiple sex mix tapes... No I will not be further explaining this.

X = X-ray (let's see what's going on under those clothes)

Steve carries the confidence of a guy with a massive dick. But honestly I think he's just above average but not huge. So I'll just say 7 inches. Definitely a shower.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Steve has a high sex drive. Craves you constantly but refrains out of fear of being way too much.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

His main concern after sex is making sure you're okay even if he's exhausted he stays awake. But the second he realizes you're out he's down for the count and sleeps like a log.

[mixelation]

Based on your last answer about Tori in other fandoms, can I ask how you design OCs? If you were to create a new character to plop into another fandom, what kind of character traits would you be giving them with respect to the fandom? Is it to place them in conflict or with relation to the canon characters or themes?

Ummm so for fic purposes, I aways make the character with some aspect of the setting I want to play with in mind. (For original fiction sometimes I make a character and then fit the setting to them, but that's harder to do with fic bc it comes with a premade world.) Sometimes it's something from canon I want to mess around with (like questions about what civilians think of ninja) and sometimes it's more meta, like how Tori is supposed to be one of those pre Dreaming of Sunshine era OCs who falls through a plot hole and buddies up to the Akatsuki. I wanted to take that premise and figure out what type of person could survive the ninja world, and specifically its villains.

I think one of the most important things to figure out for an OC is motive/goals. What does the OC want? This will shape everything they do and give them direction. I think in general I'm more compelled by characters who go against canon themes (although not necessarily canon characters) or otherwise struggle with some aspect of the setting, because conflict is fun! But also sometimes you happen upon holes in canon worldbuilding that could be neatly filled with an OC.

[mortuarybees]

It's just kind of unsettling the direction Bridgerton is taking its characters it presents as nontraditional or on the margins or trying to figure out what their lives could look like outside the roles available to them that they either can't or don't want to fulfill; with penelope, I'm dissatisfied with penelope's ending in ways that are hard to articulate without doing a second viewing of the show focusing on her character, but it was a little jarring to cut forward to her with a baby having just helped her husband, who only accepted and saw the value in her actions after she received the acceptance of the queen and the ton, publish his memoirs, with vague plans to become a columnist both making friends with the ton and holding the powerful to account? Maybe? I also disliked the direction taken in the second half with cressida, it seems as if the show takes the sort of "her reasons for attempting to blackmail penelope and badmouthing the bridgertons were understandable but doing so was inexcusable," especially since she does ultimately get sent away and receive her "comeuppance" for daring to besmirch one of the most powerful families of the ton in an attempt to make an independent life for her. And I disliked the way eloise broke with her when she lost interest; not that it happened, necessarily, but that this is positioned as the correct choice and eloise's return to moral righteousness.

It seems Benedict's final conversation with Tilley is setting him up to fall monogamously in love with a woman unless they change his storyline, which isn't out of the question. I haven't read the books but if they follow how eloise's storyline plays out as I understand it, becoming a governess in an attempt to make an independent life for herself and finding she does actually enjoy the role of a mother and stepping into the premade role of a wife with children appropriate to her own age at that point as if she never missed a single step on the path of a lady's life she spent her whole life thus far attempting to circumvent; assuming, of course, that they don't change her ending either, but this romance arc seems consistent with the show thus far. It seems like the direction they're taking these characters is not actually finding how they can exist as themselves within the strictures of the life they were born into or forge a new life of their own but instead assuring them that they can in fact fit into the roles they initially rejected, not to worry.

Of course this is a very traditional romance anthology intended as wish fulfillment for straight women, but by also giving all the bridgertons full arcs outside their romances since several of them won't even have their romances introduced for several seasons, arcs that involve nonconformity and identity seeking, ending them with conformity and ultimate fulfillment in the very roles they were trying to find an identity outside of ends up feeling fairly hollow and disappointing.

I'm very interested to see what they do with Francesca's story, her widowhood and infertility and romance with a woman necessarily disqualifying her from this typical path, and potentially with cressida's if she is Benedict's love interest's half-sister since she will presumably return for that.

Obligatory disclaimer, these are my initial personal thoughts (as someone who does enjoy historical romance and romance as a genre) on finishing the season and do not represent a close viewing of the entire show or a reading of the books

[onyourowndaisymae]

obey me demon brothers on road trip

is this original? not even a little bit. but your girl is Burnt Out by life rn and resisting the urge to bury herself in a hole and not emerge for a couple weeks. take this humble offering as a STILL avoid working on requests because i am a menace who deserves to be prodded w a dirty stick

prompt: diavolo's got a fun trip planned. he's invited everyone to meet him on some obscure little beach across the devildom. only issue? it's not accessible by portal-- something or other about the wildlife, barbatos explains. guess that means everyone has to pile in for a long drive. the demon brothers in one car, the purgatory hall group accompanying diavolo and barbatos in the other... what could go wrong?

Lucifer

lucifer drives. there is no debate here on that.

he's got the gps screen in front of him at all times because there's nothing worse for his pride than getting lost and having to... hell forbid... ask for directions.

he controls the music, no exceptions. there is a premade (and preapproved) spotify playlist playing at a decent volume for everyone's listening pleasure. inevitably someone will add something stupid to the playlist (mammon keeps adding yung gravy, asmo added deepthroat inappropriate music, belphie kept adding audiobook recordings of paradise lost) and then lucifer gets pissed off and switches to the radio.

he has a strict stopping schedule for meals and bathroom breaks to ensure they get there on time, with extra time padding for when the plan inevitably goes to shit and they get to their destination four hours later than planned.

Leviathan

levi is sitting in the passenger seat for the drive. lucifer has determined him to be the least annoying for the entirety of the trip, so he sits in the front.

honestly? smart choice. levi spends most of his time curled up with a video game or 10 in silence. he appreciates the space of the passenger seat to spread out and keep his valuables close by. it's quieter up front as well, so he doesn't get overstimulated.

officially restricted to one cupholder. give him an inch and he'll take a mile spreading all of his shit across the car.

the grandmaster of chargers for the car ride. granted, most of them are his for his various consoles, but when mammon inevitably hops in the car with his D.D.D. at 12% battery, levi's the one that gets him a charger.

Asmodeus

asmo is in the second row, seated directly behind lucifer. this spot would have gone to belphie had lucifer not thought about the youngest kicking his seat during the drive just to be a pain.

the seats in the middle are standalone seats with an open aisle. this is good because asmo has spread himself dramatically across his seat and into the aisle.

after mammon, he's the one that gets most bored on the trip. cell service is spotty the entire drive, so his connection isn't good enough to spend the whole time on social media. he's brought a couple of magazines, too, but he gets motion sick if he reads too much in the car.

he eventually falls asleep at an awkward angle. saving grace for everyone else, seeing as they don't have to hear him whine in the car, but when he wakes up with a sore neck and a bad attitude...

Belphegor

belphie's seat is behind levi in the second row. he's banished to this spot so he can't kick lucifer, but also kept close by because everyone knows he'll quietly sleep the trip away anyways.

ideally, he'd pass out right away. but car naps have always proved tricky for him. if he sleeps normally, his head will fall forward and wake him up. he'd love to spread out, but asmo's legs are taking up too much of the aisle. if he leans his seat back, he has to hear mammon bitch and run the risk of getting scolded by lucifer. what's a demon to do?

his solution is to tie his head to the headrest. no, literally.

he takes off his jacket (cardigan? idk what that shit is) and ties it like a blindfold around his eyes. this way, his head won't flop forward and wake him up. oh, reader? does that sound like sensory hell to you? well, i agree. unfortunately for us, belphie passes out right away and sleeps like a corpse in this horrid arrangement the entire ride.

Satan

satan is seated behind asmo on the far left side of the back row. lucifer ensured he stayed in the back row to ensure his own sanity, so that satan wouldn't have the chance to fuck with him as he's driving.

satan hates this arrangement. it's hard to read when you're trapped in the back with beelzebub, who's constantly eating, and mammon, who's constantly bitching. he's moments away from blowing a fuse.

he tries to convince both belphie and asmo to trade spots with him, but neither of them are willing to give up their coveted middle seats, so he gives up.

his best solution is to wear noise cancelling headphones (asmo's suggestion) and bury his head in a book. but if beel elbows him one more time....

Beelzebub

beelzebub is in the middle of the back row. his aisle spot is earned by his size (he needs more leg room) and his penchant for snacking, which is what clutters the ground around asmo and belphie's outstretched legs.

he's pretty content to spend most of the drive snacking and looking out the windows. sure, it's a little cramped, but beel's pretty agreeable when he's fed.

he might doze off a little, but he's so big that when he inevitably slumps on to one of his brothers, they wake him up yelling and complaining.

he will try to talk his way into getting more snacks at every stop. and he usually wins, too, because he's finished everything in the car by that point.

Mammon

mammon is tucked into the back right corner seat behind belphie. this is because he has a knack for pissing lucifer off and nobody wants the car to crash before they even start vacation. shoving him in the back corner is an attempt to make everyone's ride more peaceful.

he spends most of his time on his phone. he cycles through every mobile game you've ever heard off, their knockoffs, and the knockoffs of the knockoffs. mans can't keep himself entertained.

the worst about bathroom breaks. he a) always needs to stop to pee and b) doesn't mention this until he's about to piss himself. it's like having a toddler i swear. and he dilly dallys through wherever they stop. visitor center? he's trying to jiggle the vending machine for free snacks. fast food place? he's trying to convince lucifer to buy him something. gas station? come on lucifer, he needs these gummy worms--!

eventually, mammon just sort of rests his head on the window and lets the bumps in the road turn his brain to soup. can't be bored if you can't think!