#one naked night

[s0fter-sin]

i need ghoap frantically making out against a door finally taking the leap on their feelings. need ghost grinding against soap, expecting to find him just as hard as him, only to feel nothing

and in all his wisdom and experience, he concludes soap was tortured and never told him

he’s trying to think of a delicate way to say he understands, that he’s been through it and it doesn’t change anything about how he feels (and who the fuck touched him so he can hunt them down and rend them limb from limb)

meanwhile trans!soap’s just trying to find the best angle to grind his cunt on ghost’s thigh

just it never even entering ghost’s head bc he’s never known a trans person but he has met plenty of people who’ve been tortured - himself included - so of course that’s his logical leap

soap takes off his shirt and he sees his top surgery scars and ghost asks if he wants him to kill the one who did it and soap just hums like, “actually, man did pretty good, they healed real well,” and ghost’s just teary-eyes with awe at how well he’s coping, “looking on the bright side, that’s my johnny.”

imagine he thinks johnny was fully castrated but sees he’s determined to still have a sex life with him so he buys packers and straps to help him bc hell yeah healing and soap’s just like, “holy shit i’ve never had such a thoughtful partner before, such a sweet man, lt.”

[gunsatthaphan]

GMMTV Outing 2024 out of context (not that it would make more sense with context) - part 1

[1495-gauge]

there's that fucked up three-eyed thing that lives in the woods. whose turn is it to chase it off again??

[b4kuch1n]

siren

[bighandsforabigheart]

need a dressed down (but still fashionable) Napoleon Solo to completely destroy Illya’s image of him

No 3 piece suits, just some cardigans, comfy clothes, hair in its natural curly state, beard’s growing out a bit, glasses (glasses!!) etc.

Make Illya’s brain shut down

[thelampisaflashlight]

Dew: "Because I used to sleepwalk so much back in the day, Omega put up a bunch of baby gates to keep me from taking a tumble down the steps in the middle of the night, but Alpha walked into one and fell ass over tea kettle down three flights of stairs so we had to get rid of them pretty quickly after that." Aether, thinking back: "I remember that... never did say how he managed it." Dew, looking away: "He may have been pushed." Aether: "...Dewcifer Maurice Drop, did you try to murder Alpha?" Dew: "He was laughing at my jammies, the dick deserved it!" Aether, confused: "You... You sleep naked though??" Dew: "EXACTLY!" Aether: "...Oh." -sniffs- "Aight, yeah, now I see why..."

[gojoest]

it never fails to amaze me how ppl keep wearing jackets even tho it’s 20+ degrees outside, let go of winter already

[quokkaz02]

I drew matsu for the first time in a long time im not showing the full images im embarrassed

[spider-man-2o99]

i don’t think we talk enough abt how when miguel first got his Spider Powers it was at least partly because his coworker genuinely tried to murder him on a whim just for being. like. kind of annoying at the workplace. utterly deranged and iconic behavior from aaron here

[oozeandgoo-art]

warmup sketches from 1/12 that i for a long moment thought were from december first because i cant fucking read and got really confused by the date on

[11cleyvaart]

Only Human

Spicy Quimbget I guess

They were just getting breakfast ready.

[hgrve]

byergrove when they get their own place

[this-is-a-podcast-fanblog]

restoration (a mother Lauren fic)

Mother Lauren surveys the dead.

She sees them simultaneously as the spirits hovering wherever they actually are and as a collection of souls in the sand wastes. Some writhe and howl. Some cower in much the same way that the living do when her long arms sweep over them. They are afraid of her, but they speak to her when she calls voicelessly upon them.

Who killed you? she asks one. The ghost is still mostly intact. Strexcorp, it rasps back. Mother Lauren giggles. Oh, she says. Oopsie.

Night Vale is full of ghosts the way that clouds are full of water and bodies are full of blood. In truth, Mother Lauren isn't sure why she came through the portal. There's something old inside of her, very old, and far wiser than the Lauren Mallard she used to be. It compels her arms to move and lurches her body forwards towards some destination. She allows it. She's curious to see how this will end up. Besides, now that she's in Night Vale, things are becoming much clearer.

Mother Lauren speaks to the dead as an act of necessity, as easy and thoughtless as breathing. She inhales their memories and exhales ash. She can see over the tops of the buildings around her as she floats through the city, even though she is simultaneously in the sand wastes cutting the soles of her feet on tumbleweed.

Who are you? Mother Lauren asks a ghost. This one is familiar. Its body is hollowed out, spattered with acid and partially digested. Its clothes are charred. It is the Pastor from the Joyous Congregation of the Smiling God. She knows the name before the ghost actually speaks it, but it does speak anyway: I am the Pastor from the Joyous Congregation of the Smiling God, it says. Night Vale chapter. I was devoured by the Smiling God. By you. It's all I ever wanted.

I'm not/I am the Smiling God, Mother Lauren says. I am the High Priestess/The Mother of Cruelty.

You came to me as a giant centipede, the pastor's ghost says. It doesn't look at Mother Lauren, which is honestly kind of rude. You were so beautiful. You swallowed me. Inside your belly I felt true religion, and I felt you crawling over the sands and slithering through the streets of Night Vale. I felt your stomach acids dissolving me, so beautiful, like baptism. Then suddenly I felt pain, great pain. And you burned to death with me still inside you. It really hurt. It was not beautiful. I want to be alive again so that you can digest me properly this time. If you had just digested me properly I wouldn't be here.

Sorry kid, no can do, says Mother Lauren, and moves on. She feels that she could bring the ghost back to life if she wanted to. It's just that she doesn't want to.

Her mission is becoming clear: Night Vale needs to fall. It needs to, because it's been annoying her since before she even became The Mother, and because she is so hungry. She could mind control that radio host to speak for her again; he's enough like Kevin that it would be easy. Mother Lauren left him chanting into his microphone, but she decides that's okay for now. He can wait there for a little bit while she figures out what to do with him. She walks through the dead, parting them with her long arms. They claw at her cloak. They cry for resurrection, and for eternal death, and for damnation. They cry for Mother Lauren.

Mother Lauren reaches the end of the sand wastes. It's a point of space that shouldn't exist, since the sand wastes should stretch on forever. Yet, here it is, the end of the sand wastes; it just... stops, the sands turning to glass and the tumbleweeds turning to dust and a jagged mountain like a wall against the edge of the world. There's only one ghost here. It is a woman.

"Hi," says Mother Lauren. "The sand wastes aren't supposed to end. They are meant to stretch on forever/forever into the great glowing coils of the universe, where there is only Mother Lauren/Mother Lauren."

The spirit doesn't look at her. In fact, she doesn't even turn around to face Mother Lauren, just keeps doing whatever it is that she's doing by the base of the jagged mountain. "The sand wastes are made of physical matter," says the ghost. She walks over to the left a few paces, leaving bloody footprints on the glass ground. "Everything that is made of physical matter has a start and an end. That's how space works." She shouldn't be able to walk, because she doesn't have legs. They are splintered off at the knee, leaving visible bone and dripping gore. Her arms are at impossible angles. Half of her head is shaved and the other half is broken skull. Mother Lauren can see the ghost's brain.

"How are you walking?" Mother Lauren asks, intrigued. She doesn't know the answer before it appears this time. "You shouldn't be doing that."

"I'm dead," says the ghost. "I'm not doing anything." She's writing equations on the wall of the mountain, spelling them out in her own blood. "None of this is actually happening. I'm sorry, can you leave me alone? I'm kind of in the middle of something."

That's a very rude thing to say, and Mother Lauren should punish her. "Look at me," she commands. Even this ghost cannot resist the booming tones of Mother Lauren. She turns around. One of her eyes is missing and she wears only a pair of broken glasses. Actually, she's kind of hot. Mother Lauren sinks to her knees before the ghost. Her robe flutters around her, rapidly flickering from gold to purple to green. "I walk among the uncounted dead and seek one for the mission within me, which is eternal/brand new," Mother Lauren tells her. "I have to destroy Night Vale."

"That's cute." The ghost's tone is patronizing. She dares condescend to The Mother, the High Priestess of the Smiling God. Not only that, but Mother Lauren is pretty sure she's going to let her get away with it. "I tried that, you know? I tried so hard, for almost an entire year, with absolutely meticulous planning, but oh ho ho!" She laughs. "Look at me now! I fought, and I mustered an entire army of scientists on hardly any funding - which is insane, by the way - and I still died. So trust me, destroying Night Vale isn't worth it. You'll end up dead too, if you're not already. I mean, I'm having a conversation with you, and I am literally dead! Dead! And when I realized I was dead, my first thought was, there's no such thing as the afterlife, what the heck am I doing here? I'm sorry, am I boring you?"

"No," says Mother Lauren. "Please continue."

"Thank you. What was I saying? Oh, the afterlife. I mean, the human body is powered essentially by the brain and the heart, if we think about things in simplest terms. When that... bastard dropped a dead cow on me, it collapsed my skull and drove bone fragments into my brain. It shattered my ribcage and squished my heart like a teeny tiny little grape. But I'm. Still. Here." The ghost curls her fingers into claws. "This doesn't make any sense. I'm not supposed to be here. I'm not supposed to be anything. I'm dead."

Mother Lauren's heart stirs with pity. Pity is sometimes the cruelest emotion of all. "I am so sorry for your loss," says Mother Lauren. "You seem like a very wise individual."

"Thank you. It's nice to be appreciated."

"What is your name?"

"Janet. Dr. Janet Lubelle."

"Excellent." Mother Lauren scoops up the ghost of Dr. Janet Lubelle in her hands like so much sand. The ghost yelps as Mother Lauren lifts her to her face. "I'm going to call you Jan."

"Do not call me that."

"I will bring you back, Jan." And with her eyes that are God's Mother Lauren sweeps her gaze over the broken body. She restores the legs that her soldier may walk but leaves the brain as it is. It's kind of sensual, to see Jan's insides on her outside. The sins of the flesh have always been Mother Lauren's favorites "I will give you another chance, and you will serve me. Mother Lauren will save you from being a ghost." This is going to be fun, so much more fun than Kevin or Cecil. This is going to give her what she actually wants.

The being trembles in her hands, small and human. "Listen," she says. "I appreciate the sentiment, but what you're describing - it isn't scientific. It isn't possible. You can't resurrect me."

Tiny human. So stubborn, and ultimately still so limited. "'Can't' is not a word that carries much significance for the mother of all cruelty." Mother Lauren pats her new plaything on the top of the head. "Now, go forth and destroy/destroy."

She turns and walks out of that place that should not exist, back the way she came. She ignores the other spirits and ghosts as they vie for her attention and her mercy. Mother Lauren has enough mercy only for one. She walks out of the sand wastes, and at the same time, she walks down the main street of Night Vale, and her arms are as long as shadows at sundown.

And at the same time, on the edge of town where a cow is decomposing, a hand breaks through the earth.

[florencewellch]

I don't think Instagram Swifties have much common sense...

[ladycatofwinterfell]

committing the sin of going against canon every time i write ned wearing something to bed