#one of the things I took away was how one video equates to THOUSANDS of photos in terms of storage

[purge-that-urge-rhackathon]

It took a hot minute for my brain to Pepe Silva things but doesn’t it feel like they’re trying to make tumblr like deviantART? Yeah they’re doing algorithm ala tiktok/Twitter shit but the very specific feel I’m getting is dA circa 2010 and I don’t like it

‘Here’s this here’s that here’s a feature no one asked for!’ If I wanted to be on deviantART then I’d be on deviantART. At least over there they listened to users and rolled unpopular shit back and you can get away with porn if you’re crafty, but I haven’t been over there in a hot minute so I couldn’t tell you what it’s like atm. But that’s exactly what it feels like they’re trying to do with tumblr. It’s “a small-town feel brought to you by corporate” or whatever and it feels so utterly disingenuous in just eagh lemme vom

I’m gonna have to go clog your blogs with more stuff from the archive cuz I don’t like this and it’s dredging up bad memories. About to be cock o clock here again LOLOL

[manicpixiess]

✨coaching kid aesthetic✨ (for my desi stem gang where y’all at)

I have been in 12th grade for approximately fifteen months now (my thanks, Ramesh Pokhriyal, it’s been fun :) ) and if I don’t romanticise studying for entrances, I Simply Will Not Do It, so here goes!

~ that ever-growing pile of dry, used up pens that you cannot bring yourself to discard because goddamn it took a lot of effort to get them that way

~ finding yourself caught in a rabbit hole on chemistry stack exchange at 2 in the morning, because you’ll be damned if you let that one possibly irrelevant question on the DPP sheet slide

~ standing around the momo/ assorted shady street food stall outside the coaching centre, wasting that sweet, sweet fifteen minute break discussing a deliciously unsolvable question with your academic rivals; for a while you’re all just confused kids together, and it’s not that bad

~ quiet moments of absolute despair in between classes or after a test or at your desk after a long day, because oh god there’s hundreds of thousands of people writing this exam and I can’t compete with any of them

~ flipping through your full rough books once the last page has been completely covered with scribbled equations, because I did that I did that I did all of that

~ your walls are a collage of zany inspirational posters that your parents thought would somehow help, pages and pages of organic reaction mechanisms, handy math formulae, tiny physics concepts that are so important and so forgettable, salt analysis spreads that you know you won’t give a second glance

~ finding a youtube video from a Kota coaching centre or a 7 year old reddit thread that exactly answers the ultra specific question you had is as close as you’ve come to happiness in 3 years (followed closely by solving a hard question from one of those textbooks that no one remembers the actual name of, it’s just the author’s name)

~ the only revision you need before a test is the notes you scrawled to yourself that fill the covers and end pages of your notebooks; most of them are quite profane and that is okay, it drives the point home 

~ stacking all your reference books and textbooks into a tottering pile, laughing hysterically as it grows taller than you 

~ books everywhere; on your bed, on your desk, on your parents’ bed, in the kitchen, in the closet; an aggrieved do you really need them all from a family member. Yes, you think, but don’t say, because it’s more a fact from here and a reaction from there than anything else

~ saturday morning classes; watching the sunlight streaming in through the window while learning something fanciful and difficult, eating lime and orange popsicles with your friends, everyone pretending to hate it, but really, they’re all happy.

~ going from nervous, to eager, to tired, just tired over the course of two years; sleep is for the weak, your friends tell each other as you all stay up till the sun rises, cramming for something that will be forgotten in a week. You fall asleep anywhere, anytime, because it’s been so long since you slept a full eight hours 

~ reminiscing about tenth grade, the good old days, but you know that these are the friends you’ll remember for the rest of your life; nothing brings people together quite like common suffering, after all

~ talking often of all the things you could be doing if didn’t have to study, but really, you wouldn’t know what to do yourself

~ saying no, over and over again, to all the people who call you out, to family engagements, to other friends, because you’ve lived so long in this world that you’ve forgotten what it’s like on the other side

~ the group chat after 3 am is for detailing exactly how you screwed are for the next day’s test, for a friend to point out that they are, in fact, more screwed than you (discussions on what exactly the point of life is are also allowed)

~ coming out of exam rooms sweaty and relieved, because no one will expect anything of you for the next fortnight, waiting outside them for your friends to finish so you can have a collective freakout (you can’t be the only one who forgot about instantaneous axes of rotation and acid catalysed aldol reactions, right? Right?)

~ your friends are your therapists, and you are theirs, because even (or especially) in a system intent on pitting kids against each other, you rely on each other to keep (some approximation of) happy and motivated 

~ jokes about being sad, scared, tired, angry, hurt; because feeling any of it takes up more time than can be spared

~ ink stained hands, heavy bags, clothes that are loose and old

~ regular schoolwork is ignored, bio/comp labs are gossip sessions, physics labs are for getting confused when g isn’t 9.8, chemistry labs are for unleashing pyromaniacal chaos 

~ it’s either one question taking up an entire day or 200 questions in 4 hours, there’s no in between 

~ looking at the stars in the sky after a late class, thinking that some day, you’ll be far away from here, doing something you love; then thinking that maybe, just maybe, it wasn’t all bad 

[unmaskedagain]

To all Guys a Chat Loved Before

Okay, this is it. I’ve been working on this story for over a week. It’s seventy pages and twenty thousand words. I basically wrote you a short story. Enjoy it. Review. 

I’m not fond of Rom-Coms and rarely if ever watch Romantic movies. But there are a few that i’ve liked. So THROUGH OUT THIS i’ve sprinkled some of my favorite lines from my favorite romantic movies over the years. Some also came from tv shows. See if you can point them out.

This is Adrien-centered fic. It’s also slash.

Don’t you wish that people came with warning labels?

           Adrien did. He wished more than anything because his life would be so much easier if everyone could see each other’s warning labels.

Bustier: Terrible teacher. Needs to please everyone. Hates confrontation.

Lila: Waring massive Liar, manipulative shrew.

His father: Workaholic, possible sociopath. Might be allergic to hugs and any affection whatsoever.

Adrien: A little needy. Emotionally scarred. Touch starved. Famous. Trust issues. Lacks some basic social skills. Probably going to be in therapy for the rest of his life. Likes to run around in a skintight leather bodysuit.

           You know? The basics.

           Okay, maybe that’s too much. Too personal. Fine. Whatever.

           But at the very least, if he could meet someone and just know, you know?

           Know that this is the one.

           This is it.

           This one.

           They’re the one that’s gonna break your heart.

           Adrien’s life would be so much easier if he could at least get that one warning.

           Maybe he’d run the other way. But maybe he wouldn’t. Adrien had a terrible habit of always making the stupid choice.

           Still, it would be nice to know before he gets into deep.

           Before his heart isn’t just broken…

           It's shattered beyond repair.

Iron’s Kid: When did you realize you weren’t like other guys?

Chat Galore: I was twelve. You?

           The first time Adrien realized he might not be like other guys his age came AFTER he put on a magic ring and ran around Paris as a superhero in black spandex. And yes, that statement alone makes him realize how insane he sounds.

           But in his defense…

           Okay, there was no defense. He didn’t need to defend himself. There was nothing wrong with him. He knew that. There was nothing wrong with…

Iron’s Kid: Fourteen. And it took me completely by surprise. Like a bite in the neck.

           Adrien always really liked his penpal. It had been Chloe’s idea. Adrien signed up when he was thirteen, anonymously, through a program at school and was given an American penpal the same age as him. The schools vetted all participants in the program for authenticity. They’ve never told each other their real names, never seen so much as a picture of one another, but still, Iron’s kid became one of the few people who knew him best.

           The blond knew a lot about Iron’s Kid too. He even had a list.

Iron’s kid:

A year older than Adrien.

Huge geek like Adrien.

He was a guy.

He loved Legos

Said he had brown hair and eyes.

He was bisexual.

He was really funny.

Really smart. Like Genius smart.

He was an intern at Stark Industries.

He was a huge iron man fan and adored Spiderman a bit as any New Yorker did.

He loved superheroes and memes (like a lot) and stayed up late a lot.

He made as many puns as Adrien did as Chat Noir.

.           They got along really well. They texted constantly. And, Iron’s Kid slowly became one of Adrien’s dearest friends. After the first year of being Penpals, Adrien asked if Iron’s Kid wanted to meet. The answer was no. Adrien asked Iron’s Kid at least once a year if they could meet up (or skype or trade pictures); the answer was always No. It was only after Adrien revealed that he was a supermodel, that Iron’s Kid revealed he had a famous face too and just wanted to be treated normally.

           That did stop Adrien from still asking once a year. Iron’s Kid was one of the few people, outside of being Chat Noir that Adrien could just be himself with.

           But unlike Iron’s Kid…

           Honestly, Adrien always kind of knew, ya know?

           He was always as into Harry Styles as Chloe was. Maybe a bit more.

When he binged watched Stranger Things with Marinette; he noticed Finn Wolfhard as much as the bluenette did.

Maybe, he noticed Kim’s biceps just a bit too much.

           So he started to suspect early on.

           He didn’t know for sure until…

           Luka.

           And that’s the worst (and craziest) part because knew Luka. He had been sort of, kind of, friends with the guitarist for quite some time. He had never even thought of the blue-haired boy like that.

           Until one day, Adrien, Marinette, and Luka were playing video games after school. They were just laughing and chilling out like they always do. It was perfectly ordinary.

           Then out of nowhere, Adrien noticed just how blue Luka’s eyes were. Then that was it. Suddenly the blond couldn’t help but think how cool Luka was, how funny he was, how artistic. And Adrien was really self-conscious. When Luka was in the same room as him, Adrien was hyper-aware of everything his own body was doing and everything he was saying.

           It was like he existed outside it for a few seconds and was just watching the chaos.

How does my hair look?

Why did I JUST say that? No, don’t say that THAT’s even worse.

What is wrong with you?

Don’t stand like that! Who stands like that?

Does it look weird?

Am I being weird?

He totally thinks I’m weird.

Iron’s Kid: How could you NOT have seen Princess Bride?!!!!!?!!

Chat Galore: It doesn’t look like not my type of movie

Iron’s Kid: But you’ve seen the Labyrinth???!!! WTF

Chat Galore: It was my mom’s favorite movie!!! You haven’t seen vampire diaries yet!!!

Iron’s Kid: That is BESIDES the point. Princess Bride is a classic!!!!

Chat Galore: Oh just shut up

Iron’s Kid; As you wish.

           Adrien slowly became a blushing, stuttering mess.

           And he didn’t know how but somehow this was how Marinette figured it out what was going on.

“…You have a crush on Luka,” Marinette said slowly and quietly, one day after school as they sat in Marinette’s living room as if the words were as hard for her to get out as they were for him to hear.

The two had gotten closer as friends as a result of the Lila situation at school worsening. Once most of the class made it clear how quickly they were willing to drop Marinette for a shiny golden ticket; the blond and bluenette quickly washed their hands of the situation. They decided to let their ex-friends sink or swim on their own.

Adrien did not need fair-weather friends. Marinette was tired of being everyone’s doormat.  They decided to sit in the back together and wait for the fireworks. Surprisingly, not long after Nino joined them. The glasses-wearing boy hadn’t cared if Lila was lying or not (though Adrien and Marinette would provide him with enough evidence to convince him later), he just knew that Marinette was his childhood friend and Adrien was his best friend. Nino trusted them, and sure wasn’t going to abandon them.

That was over a year ago. Marinette, Nino, and Adrien were best friends. Then the bluenette and the blond found out they were really Ladybug and Chat Noir effectively ending their crushes on each other. (Though Marinette took a bit longer)

“No!” Adrien said quickly. “I mean, I can’t, I, uh. I used to love Ladybug, remember!”

           Marinette shrugged, “So? I dated Kagami for like three months last year, and I’d still wouldn’t say no to seven minutes in heaven with Luka. Or longer,” She smirked. “I used to like you. I’m bisexual; lots of people are.” She then tilted her head. “It’s okay if you like boys.”

           Adrien glanced down shyly. At that point, He hadn’t thought too much about his sexuality. He always figured he was straight. It was the standard some people would say. But… Did he? Did he like-like other guys like that?

           …He definitely liked Luka like that. But was it just Luka? Maybe Luka was special. And dreamy. And nice to look at. And he made Adrien’s stomach feel a little weird when he was around, “…I have a crush on Luka.”

“Everyone does,” Marinette nodded. “It’s a fact of life. He gets Kagami to blush. Chloe says he not completely awful. Hell, even Nino said, and I quote, ‘if I ever I had to pick a dude.’” She said but then her eyes widened as she looked at Adrien. “Wait! I just realized have you ever had a crush on a girl besides Ladybug? I never heard you talk about any. This is the first crush besides Ladybug.”

           Adrien blinked and then blinked again. “I went out with Kagami once,” He offered, and then gave Marinette a playful glare. “Before you stole her away from me.”

“It’s not stealing if she practically jumped into my arms,” Marinette defended with a laugh. “Don’t hate the playa!”

           The blond snorted.

“I mean, what did you like about Ladybug?” Marinette asked. “Not me! Not now. But before you knew that I was Ladybug. What did you like about her?”

           Adrien bit his lip as he thought, “She was always fun to be around. When I was with her I never had to worry, you know? I could do what I wanted, say what I wanted. There was no pressure or anything. I was just me… but more. And I liked that. It was easy being around her.”

           Marinette nodded, “Ladybug used to be the only one you could be free around,” She said. “As Chat Noir, you never had to censor yourself for fear of what your father would do. It was freedom. A type of freedom you always wanted; to be wild and carefree. You got to do that whenever you are Chat Noir, and whenever you were Chat Noir, Ladybug was there. Did you ever… you might’ve… I think you,” She sighed. “…Adrien, I don’t think you ever loved Ladybug. I think you loved how you got to feel when she was around. You might have equated the two.”

           It went quiet as Adrien thought about what his friend said. It helped that his crush had been long gone so he could view it without the bias he used to have. And yeah, the more he thought about it, the more he realized Marinette was right. Adrien had been more infatuated with the fun and freedom of being a superhero, being Chat Noir that he ever was with Ladybug.

           He also comprehended that His crush had ended it rather instantly the second he found out who was behind the mask. Marinette was amazing; the girl of most guys’ dreams. Yet Adrien just didn’t see her like that. He didn’t have romantic feelings for her. It was then he realized that no matter who was behind the mask, what girl, Adrien wouldn’t have been happy. “She wasn’t real to me,” He admitted. “Not really. Ladybug was this unattainable dream. Anything was possible with her. I got to think up outlandish fantasies all the time of what our future could be and nothing was too extreme or impossible. The second she became real, the fantasy ended, and… I didn’t want her anymore; not like that.” He told Marinette. “Don’t get me wrong, I love you! You’re practically my sister. You’re the best! But… It is strange, I know.”

           Marinette shook her head, “It’s not!” She would know better than most what it was like when the fantasy ended and you had faced reality. “We’re kids. Feelings are all haywire.”

“It’ll get easier.” He asked. “I mean it has to. Soon, right?”

“No!” Sabine, Marinette’s mom, called from the kitchen. “Try in about a decade. If you’re lucky!”

“Mama!” Marinette yelled as she face-palmed. “Private conversation.”

“In our very public family room,” Sabine sassed back. “Adrien, honey, besides Luka, have you ever thought about any boys like that?”

           Marinette just sighed.

           Adrien turned bright red. He had more or less been adopted by the Dupain-chengs, and he was still getting used to having an involved parent. “I, uh, like Kim’s arms.”

“Who doesn’t?” Marinette asked. “Drool-worthy.”

“Harry Styles,” Adrien offered. “I like his face.” The bluenette snorted, earning herself a face full of the pillow. “Oh, you are so helpful!”  After that, they erupted into a pillow fight.

Chat Galore: I’m late

Iron’s Kid: For what?

Chat Galore: Reality.

Iron’s Kid: Oooh someone’s feeling deep today. What’s up?

Chat Galore: I’m

           Adrien paused writing.

Iron’s Kid: You’re…

Iron’s kid: Chat? You still there?

Chat Galore: I’m gay.

Chat Galore: You’re the first person I’ve told.

Iron’s Kid: I’m honored. And proud of you man.

Chat Galore: TY!!

Iron’s Kid: So who made you realize you were finally into Luka?

Chat Galore: …I hate you. GO AWAY!

Iron’s Kid: As you wish.

           It took another month, and a lot of introspection but Adrien finally came to terms with it, and while getting ice cream with his friends, he said, “So, yeah, I’m gay.”

“And the sky’s blue,” Chloe shrugged.

           Marinette elbowed, “That’s not how we’re supposed to react.”

           The blonde huffed, “What? We’re supposed to pretend to be surprised. I’ve known him since we were in diapers. I was there through OUR One Direction phase. We were just little kids but just because he blocked it out or whatever doesn’t mean I forgot he called dips on marrying Harry.”

“All good, dude,” Nino told Adrien. “Still my boy.” He told him. “Does this mean you’re finally gonna ask out Luka?”

“NINO!” Marinette groaned. “I didn’t tell them. I swear!”

“What?” Nino licked his ice cream. “It was obvious Sunshine digs Luka.”

           Adrien’s froze. “…How obvious?” Dread slowly crept onto his face.

           His friends quickly went to assure him.

“It’s barely noticeable!” Marinette said.

“Everyone wants Luka; he probably doesn’t even realize it at this point!” Went, Nino.

“It’s not as obvious as the crush Marinette had on you!”

“Chloe! Seriously?!”

“What!”

Chat Galore: My friends suck as much as you!

Iron’s kid: Ahh, they call you out on the Luka thing too?

Chat Galore: Fuck off

Iron’s Kid: lol

Iron’s Kid: As you wish.

           Adrien just groaned, seriously wishing the earth would just swallow him up. It was official all of his friends were completely awful.

           Not long after he came out to his father, Nathalie, and Gorilla. His father barely blinked twice and told him not to make a fool of himself. Nathalie scheduled when he’ll announce it officially on twitter. Gorilla at least hugged him.

           Lila attempted to convince the class that Adrien was just confused and hiding his feelings for her. But even that was a bit too much to buy. Instead, the class shot the Italian girl pitying looks for being in love with an unreachable guy. Lila seethed with fury as what she thought was her ticket to fame and fortune going up in flame.

Pretty much everything stayed normal though. There were no big fireworks. Adrien never confessed to Luka about his crush; instead joined his dozens of other admirers in mooning from a distance.

           Adrien was fine with that. He wasn’t looking for anything for his life to radically change. Or to completely lose his mind over some guy (though he did come close with Luka). In fact, he was rather happy if that never happened.

           But since when does he ever get what he wants?

Iron’s Kid: If you could punch anyone in the face, who would it be?

Chat Galore: What did Flash do now?

Chat Galore: And the answer’s: Lila. But Marinette has dips. And then Chloe. Then Kagami for some reason. I’m also after Nino, which doesn’t seem fair.

Chat Galore: …There’s a line to punch Lila.

Iron’s Kid: lol.

Iron’s Kid: Flash embarrassed me in front of Liz. He got everyone at this party chanting the stupid nickname he gave me.

Chat Galore: What a jerk? I vote revenge!

Iron’s Kid: What happened to the high road?

Chat Galore: It went nowhere. Time to light someone’s car on fire now.

Chat Galore: OOOOHHH!!!! Get MJ to put a porn virus on his computer! Let it hit during that school project you guys got next week.

Iron’s Kid: You’re a cruel man. And you and MJ are never allowed meet!

Chat Galore: Lol

Iron’s Kid: I can’t do that. Revenge isn’t my thing. I wouldn’t even care if Liz wasn’t there.

Chat Galore: You really like her, huh?

Iron’s Kid: Yeah I do

           Adrien grinned at his phone. Iron had fallen hard for Liz a while back, and it was the cutest thing when he gushed over her. Plus it gave the blond some relief to know that there was someone as bad as him when it came to romance.

Iron’s Kid: So my dads suck

Chat Galore: We should start a club!

Iron’s kid: Lol.

Chat Galore: Your dad or your pops?

Iron’s Kid: Both. They totally freaked out on me! They’re so overprotective it is insane.

Chat Galore: Been there. Am there.

Iron’s Kid: Me and dad totally got into it. He thinks I’m reckless and stupid. Like I don’t know what I’m doing. I just wish he’d trust me

Chat Galore: Stop treating you like you’re a little kid?

Iron’s Kid: Exactly!!!!! I can do this! I know I can! If he just trusts me!

Iron’s Kid: Instead I’m grounded.

Chat Galore: What are you going to do?

Iron’s Kid: Whatever I have to!

Chat Galore: just be safe, ok? I don’t know what’s going on. And I know you can’t tell me. But just Be. Careful. I’d miss you.

Iron’s Kid: I’d miss you too.

Chat Galore: Goodnight!!

Iron’s Kid: As you wish.

           It was Christmas. Adrien was staying with Marinette’s family while his father was away on business and avoiding all things happiness. Marinette told him that her Uncle was coming. Her dad’s great uncle from New York. He broke up with his boyfriend not too long ago and wanted to get out and see more of the world.

           Adrien had expectations of what Marinette’s great uncle would look like – like any Uncle. Old, kind of fat, who made way to many dad jokes, and smelled like mothballs. And he definitely wore tacky clothes.

           The guy who walked into the Dupain-Cheng home, following a laughing Tom Dupain, was NOT that guy!!

           First of all, he was young; like two or three years older than Adrien and Marinette. He wore was pale with dark eyes and hair. He was dressed in all black and wore an old black leather bomber jacket. He was unnaturally handsome.

“Who is that?” Adrien hissed.

“My uncle,” Marinette said. “I told you he was coming.”

“How is that your great Uncle?”

           Marinette shrugged, “Magic. Demigod. Prince of the Underworld. What can you do?” She said. “His name’s Nico.”

           Adrien’s life was already so bizarre he didn’t even question the demigod part. All he could see what Nico. His mind turned to mush. “Boing!” He pointed.

“That’s my Uncle, Adrien,” Mariette reminded him

“Sweet! I would be your Aunt,” Adrien said. “Uncle. I don’t care. I’ll be whatever he wants me to be.”

           Marinette laughed and got off the couch to greet the newcomer, “Uncle Nico!”

“Marinette!” Nico smiled as he hugged his niece. “I told you to call me Nico.”

“Uncle is a bit weird,” Marinette nodded in agreement as she let go.

           As soon Nico let go, he found his arms full of again but this time by a blond, “Uncle Nico.”

“Adrien, right,” Nico said as he hugged the smaller boy, “I’m not your Uncle.”

“Even better!”

           Marinette snorted and pulled her friend away.

           Nico looked them up and down. “Aww, it’s good you two are still so close. I still got that picture your dad sent me of you two in Halloween costumes; Harry Potter and Ron Weasley.” He said. “Adorable. You two must have been, what eleven?” He shrugged and smiled at Adrien. “It’s been a while. You grew up gorgeous.” And then walked off to say hello to Sabine.

           Adrien turned bright red and a big grin spread across his face.

           Marinette crossed her arms, and gave him a serious look, “You are not going to be my Aunt.”

“I can’t hear you!” Adrien sang. “Buh dah Bu da da Da!”

“He’s almost eighteen; physically and mentally anyway!” Marinette said. “We’re fifteen.”

“Almost sixteen,” Adrien snapped quickly. “Which is practically seventeen. Which is a skip away from eighteen. Two plus Two, you know?”

           Marinette rolled her eyes, “I know Two plus two equals four. But with your logic, two plus two is three with a wig on.”

           He hissed at her.

Chat Galore: I think I found my Liz

Iron’s Kid: Someone Completely unattainable, and probably a bad idea?

Chat Galore: MJ or Ned?

Iron’s Kid: …

Chat Galore: Seriously? Give Iron back his phone!

Iron’s Kid:

Chat Galore: WAIT! What do you mean about Liz? What’s going on? Why is she a bad idea?

           He would get a response an hour later. It was just after dark.

Iron’s Kid: Sorry! MJ took my phone!

Chat Galore: NP. What’s this about Liz?

Iron’s Kid: A good friend will ignore whatever MJ told you!

Chat Galore: A best friend’s gonna get answers out of you!

           Adrien’s phone remained silent as he waited for Iron’s reply.

Iron’s Kid: ‘sigh’ Liz’s dad a supervillain. He tried to kill me.

Chat Galore: Shit. I’m sorry. Are you okay?

Iron’s Kid: It sucks. Liz’s dad in prison. She had to move.

Chat Galore: that blows

Iron’s Kid: Yep

           Then Adrien did something daring; something he thought about doing before but just stops short of being brave enough.

           He called Iron’s kid. It rang a few times before finally answering?

“Hello?”

“Iron’s kid?” Adrien whispered.

“Chat Galore?” Was said. “You called?”

“I thought you might need someone to talk to,” Adrien said. “Really talk to. It is fine if you don’t want to. I just thought…”

“No!” Was quickly said. “This is great. I mean, yeah. I’m cool with this if you are.”

They ended up talking to each other for hours like they always did. But this time it went on even longer; to the point where Adrien was genuinely surprised to see the sun starting to rise.

It was the first Adrien began to suspect he might be falling a little bit in love with Iron’s Kid.

           It didn’t end there. As the weeks went on Iron Kid and Chat Galore kept texting and talking. Iron Kid was going through a hard time and Adrien just wanted to be there for him.

Iron’s Kid: It’s never been easy being me. I love my parents. But normal doesn’t exactly coincide with our last name

Chat Galore: It is like no one can look past it, right? They don’t see you, they see your name. It’s all they care about.

Iron’s kid: Exactly!!!!! Who I am doesn’t matter. Its who my dad is, who my pop’s is. Hell sometimes who my grandfather was, and he died way before I was even born. It’s not fair!

Chat Galore: And you never know if anyone likes you for you. Or if they just want something from you. Or from your dad. You just want people to see YOU for who you are!

Iron’s Kid: Makes it really hard to trust people. My parents always did their best to give me a normal life but

Iron’s Kid: it’s whatever I guess.

Chat Galore: It’s not whatever. And its okay to feel like this.

Iron’s Kid: It’s sometimes I feel a little lost. Or maybe just…

Iron’s Kid:  I mean, I can be surrounded by a sea of people and still feel all alone. Like no one really knows me or sees me. Then I think of you. I think of talking to you. And I don’t feel so alone anymore.

Chat Galore: I see you.

Iron’s Kid: I see you too.

           Then once more Adrien asked Iron’s Kid if he wanted to meet, even though he knew he’d be turned down. That was fine. Adrien would wait.

If Marinette thought it was over when the holidays ended, she was dead wrong. Nico got an apartment to stay in Paris and to spend time with his family.

           And Adrien got used to his brain going all gooey when Nico was around. He always said goofy things; things that made him wish he’d never learned to speak in the first place. He read books that Nico casually mentioned just so they’d have something to talk about. He did ridiculous things try to get the older guy’s attention. And whenever, Nico asked the gang if anyone wanted to hang out, Adrien would be the first to shoot up and practically yell yes.

           And all Adrien would get from Nico would be a placating smirk; the same type Nino would give his younger brothers’ when they did something outlandish to impress him.

           The weird thing was when Adrien was going all googly-eyes at Nico, they got along really, really well. They both loved art and classic noir films like Gun For hire and Laura. The two once spent an entire afternoon in the museum just talking about the pieces, ignoring the whines of Marinette and Nino who got dragged along.

           Still no matter what Adrien did Nico never took the hint to ask Adrien out. Or even hint that he was open to Adrien possibly asking him out.

           His friends got used to Adrien sighing wistfully.

“Gods’ he so handsome, it makes my face hurt,” Adrien whined.

Marinette giggled, “You’re young, you’re dumb.”

“Just so we’re clear,” Chloe pointed a fork at him that still had a bit of salad on it, “That those are not necessarily correlated. You’re just an idiot.”

           Nino leaned forward, “Bro, just ask him out!” He said with his mouth half full of pizza.

“I can’t do that!”

“Why not?” Marinette, Chloe, and Nino asked/yelled at him.

“What if he says no?” Adrien asked, because duh, why else wouldn’t he have asked Nico out already.

           Chloe glared at him, “Then you look in the mirror and remind yourself that you’re the second hottest dude, around our age, in Paris?”

“Ahh, Luka’s first,” Marinette put in.

           Nino raised his hand, “Just so we’re clear, I’m at least in the top ten, yeah?” Silence. “Guys? Top fifteen?” Nothing. “Top twenty?”

“Eehh,” Chloe offered as she flipped her hand side to side rapidly.

           Nino grinned, “I’ll take it!”

           It all came to a head during the Dupain-Cheng family game. Marinette invited Chloe, Nino, and Adrien, who had become Tom and Sabine’s additional adopted children, when Tom walked in, with Nico trailing behind him. “Family game night to the max!” Tom cheered.

           Nico chuckled and gave everyone their hellos.

           Marinette holding a hat on her lap, “Time to pick the games tonight: Mom, Chloe, and Nico’s turn to draw from the hat.

           Sabine drew Uno.

           Chloe drew Pictionary.

           Nico drew dungeons and dragons which caused everyone in the room to groaned, “What?”

“That game always takes forever,” Nino whined.

           Marinette flopped on the couch dramatically, “Mom’s always the dungeon master and she never lets us win. Dad always dies before anything good starts.”

“We always get frustrated,” Chloe added with an eye-roll. “And snap and try to kill each other!”

“In the game?” Nico asked.

           Nino glared at his friends, “Not. Always. Marinette!” He called her out, and she had the decency to blush. “Some people walk with scars.”

“Mental and emotional ones,” Adrien winced. “Marinette.”

           Chloe caught Nico’s confused look, and explained, “Marinette’s a bit competitive.”

“A bit!” Everyone else in the room said.

“Let’s just play!” Marinette gave them a playful glare.

           Uno was fast. Marinette won, of course.

           Pictionary resulted in tears. (Sabine was just as competitive as her daughter, and Tom was a bit sensitive.)

           The Dungeons and Dragons came took hours. Tom died right away and was content to watch the show. The kids turned on each other by the second hour, and it took Nico’s taking leadership and forcing them all to work together to achieve victory, for the suffering to stop.

           By the end, nearly everyone in the room was dead asleep, their characters long since dead, apart from Marinette, Sabine, Adrien, and Nico. Until the die was rolled for the final time and Marinette raised her tired arms in victory, “Finally. Six hours, friends came together on a harrowing quest; the longest game of my life. And we finally, finally won!”

Seconds after she was cuddled against her mother, both having fallen asleep.

           Adrien gave them a sleepy smile from where he sat on the floor before every cell in his body suddenly felt like it was hit by lightning when he caught Nico’s dark eyes staring at him. It was then that Adrien realized that, with the others all asleep, this was the first time Nico and he were ever technically alone together.

Be cool, he thought. Just be cool, damn you.

           It was all for naught as Nico got up off the couch and went to sit next to Adrien, who let out a small happy squeak.

“Let’s talk,” Nico told Adrien, who fought to stop his entire body from shaking. “We’re sort of friends, right?”

           Adrien winced a little but nodded eagerly, “Yep, friends, totally. I’m happy being friends. Yeah, friendship!” He waved his fist around in a small cheer and died a little inside as soon as he did it.

Why am I such a loser, he asked himself.

“Can I tell you something?”

“Yes, sure,” Adrien said. “Anything. Whatever you want. You can ask me anything too. I’ll probably say yes. I’ll defiantly say yes. Yes!”

           Nico just gave him a small smile, “When I was just about your age, maybe a bit younger, I had a crush on this older guy Percy. I was ten when I met him. He was fourteen, almost fifteen. In my eyes, he was all my dreams come to life; a real-life Greek demi-god hero. He fought monsters, saved lives. I had the biggest crush on him instantly,” He told Adrien. “Not that I knew it then. I was too young. I was from a completely different time where things like a man liking a man just were okay, or… Or Legal. I didn’t handle it well. Even worse after my sister died and wrongly placed at least part of the blame of unfairly on him. It took me a long time to realize I never hated him, I hated myself. I only stopped hating myself when I realized and accepted I was gay. And a little bit in love with Percy.”

           Adrien had no idea where this was going but he listened intensely. He always enjoyed listening to Nico whenever he told tales about his life as a demigod.

“Still I ended up doing a lot of stupid things,” Nico said. “Just to get his attention, to help him; to get him to fall for me back. A lot of stupid things.” He chuckled. “When I found out he was Bi, I thought I had a chance. But I didn’t. I never would’ve. Percy just saw me as a brother. I was too young for him. Way too young. There was no way Percy could’ve ever seen me like that. I accepted that. I moved on. I got over him. I even admitted to him about my crush; after telling him that he wasn’t my type. Asshole fell down laughing.”

           Adrien laughed a bit.

“We’re still friends,” Nico added. “Great friends actually. And I’m glad. Do you know why I’m telling you this?”

           The blond frowned and suddenly found the game board very interesting. Because, yes he did know why Nico was telling him this.

“You know I’m too told for you, right?” Nico asked quietly as to not wake up the others.

“Yeah,” Adrien nodded slowly, his throat felt a little dry, and his eyes stung. “I know. I kind of always knew.” He glanced at the Dungeons and Dragons, and a strange sense of hope-filled him. The blond shot the older dark-haired boy a smirk, “But I’m playing the long game.”

           Adrien tried to be hopeful about it. Or least pretend to but…

Chat Galore: I just got my heartbroken.

Iron’s Kid: That Douchebag. I knew that weird death kid was no good!

Chat Galore: He’s not that bad. He said I’m too young for him. I get he’s trying to be a good guy but…

Iron’s Kid: It still hurts.

Chat Galore: Yep

Iron’s Kid: I get that. How about we watch Star Wars and make fun of Kylo Ren, that’ll make you feel better!

Chat Galore: I’ve seen less teen angst in my high school. The dude has problems!

           And that’s what they did. They texted each other while watching Star Wars: The Force Awakens; sending each other stupid memes and jokes. And Adrien felt a lot better by the end it of it.

Chat Galore: Thanks for this btw. I think I really need this.

Iron’s Kid: No Problem

Iron’s Kid: And for what it’s worth, I’d never turn you down.

           Adrien stared at that message for an hour, mentally screaming. Because… What. The. Hell.

Chat Galore: Oh be quiet! Lol

Iron’s Kid: As you wish.

           The next day, Adrien sent Iron’s Kid another request to meet. The answer was a simple: Not Yet. That was Fine. Adrien would wait.`

“You are not playing the long game, Adrien Agreste,” Chloe glared at him. “Do you hear me? I will not take this into my twenties.”

           They had talked Adrien into ditching one of his many lessons and were hanging out downtown. Eating ice cream.

“But!”

“No!”

“I agree with her man,” Nino said, and Adrien gave him big green puppy dog eyes. “You can spend your life swooning over some guy. There’s other fish in the sea.”

“I don’t want fish,” Adrien complained. “I just someone to ride the Ferris Wheel with me!”

“Ferris Wheel?” Nino asked confused.

“Gay culture,” Chloe explained.

           Marinette nodded, “We just mean that… You need to Get some more life skills. Learn how to talk to guys. Get cool!”

“I’m cool!” Adrien defended and was met with multiple snorts. “I am. I got my dad to let me have more freedom. I paint. I went to comic con last year. I ride the metro now. And I can talk guys. I’ve successfully learned how to be cool.”

           Chloe smirked, “Okay, let's see how you react when you see him,” She looked over his shoulder. “Guy’s been checking you out since we got here.”

“I’m cool,” Adrien said as he casually glanced over his shoulder and saw just who was checking him out, he let out a series of nervous chuckles. And couldn’t stop.

           The guy looked about his age, with dark hair and blue eyes, a jawline that was similar to ones Adrien’s had seen on Greek statues; and he had muscles, so many muscles. He sat on a park bench and was writing or sketching in a red notebook.

           Nino shook his head, “Yeah you still need some lessons in cool.”

“Lesson one: go talk to him,” Chloe demanded.

           Adrien’s eyes went wide, and he let out a squeak. “Nope! Can’t do it. Won’t do it!”

           His friends shared a look, and Adrien suddenly fears for his life. He found himself all but pushed/carried over to the guy on the park bench. He struggled a bit. Suddenly when they got close enough, Adrien was pushed (By gleeful and vindictive looking Chloe, his official witch of an ex-best friend), right into park bench guy, who caught him at the last second. And Adrien found himself sitting in the lap of a virtual stranger.

“Hi?” Adrien offered weakly. “Me and my friends were just talking about you.”

           The guy gave him a big smile, “I know,” He said. “I figured. I’m Jon.” He said with a southern American accent. “Jon Kent. And you can talk about me any time you want.”

“Adrien,” The blond laughed.  “Adrien Agreste.”

“I like your laugh, Adrien.”

“I like your smile, Jon.”

           Then Adrien’s phone started ringing. It was Nathalie and Adrien had to rush home. Mourning his chances of ever seeing Jon again. He was probably a tourist who’d be gone the next day, the blond figured.

Chat Galore: I have the worst luck with guys!

Iron’s Kid: I don’t know. I think you have better luck than you think.

Chat Galore: Lol. What’s up with you lately.

Iron’s Kid: Flash finally left me alone. All it took was a school field trip to my job. Suddenly I’m not a liar anymore!

Chat Galore: Oh I would’ve killed to his face, lol.

Iron’s Kid: It was basically the crying emoji.

Iron’s Kid: Oh yeah, I met this guy named Johnny; totally gorgeous, rides a motorcycle, and my dads’ hate him

Chat Galore: Last ones’s the best part, right?

Iron’s Kid: YES!!

           The next morning Adrien and his friends were happily sitting in the back of the class. The other kids in the class ignored them as usual. Even Lila more or less pretended they didn’t exist. (Though she had been reluctant to let Adrien go and had made several attempts to get him under her thumb. Until Adrien got his dad to fire her under threat of dying his hair neon green, and wearing plaid, the one pattern his father hated above all others.)

           They had entered a cold war with her. As long as she stopped trying to make their lives hell, they’d stop exposing trying to expose her.

           Bustier was once again proving she had no control over her classroom as she struggled to teach a simple history lesson about the French Revolution. It didn’t make a lick of sense and Bustier tried way to hard to get the kids to relate on a personal level.

“History shows that bad things happen when you don’t know who you are,” Bustier said just as the classroom door opened and in walked two boys and a girl.

           Adrien’s eyes went wide, and leaned over to Chloe, “Park bench guy!” He whispered.

“Foreign exchange students,” One of the boys said. He had dark hair, green eyes, olive skin, and a thoroughly unimpressed look on his handsome face. He wore a black turtle neck and slacks. “Damian Wayne, Gotham.”

“Lian Nguyen-Harper-Queen,” Said the girl. She had Auburn hair and gray eyes. Lian wore a pink headband, a pink cardigan over a white top and blue shorts.

“Hi I’m Jon Kent,” He said. Jon wore a red plaid shirt over a simple t-shirt and blue jeans. “I split my time between the Farm in Smallville and Metropolis.” He looked at the back of the classroom straight at Adrien. “And I’m happy to be here.”

           Bustier nodded, “Welcome. Always happy to get new students! Let's find you some seats…” She looked around the room.

“OH! Damian can sit with me!” Lila waved her hand. “I’ll be happy to show him around.”

“Declined,” Damian simply said. “We’ll sit in the back.”

           Alya leaned forward, “But Lila’s goes to Gotham and Metropolis all the time!” She said and didn’t notice the way Lila paled. She seemed to have forgotten Damian Wayne was apart of her many, many lies. “Damian, you showed her around last time she was there. You guys became such a good friend. She just wants to return the favor.”

           Damian scoffed, “I’ve never seen this girl before in my life.”

           Marinette smirked at Adrien, “You’re going to need to move. I have a new best friend.”

“Mean,” Adrien said. “But understandable. Still not moving.”

           Jon and Damian sat in empty seats in front of Adrien and Marinette.

           Jon turned around in his seat, “Hi.”

           Adrien smiled shyly, “Hi.”

           Then they just stared at each other.

           Chloe let out a long-suffering sigh, “Oh this gonna be exhausting.”

Iron’s Kid: Best day EVER!!!

Chat Galore: SAME! What happened?

Iron’s Kid: Johnny asked me out!

Chat Galore: AWESOME!!!

Chat Galore: Park Bench Guy is in my class NOW!!!

Iron’s Kid: ‘High Five’ Maybe fate DOESN’T hate us.

Chat Galore: …

Chat Galore: …I swear to the Gods if you jinxed us

           The two guys in class quickly joined the Adrien’s friends’ group. They blended in seamlessly like they were always there as the weeks went on. Before anyone knew it, they were pretty much attached to hips. Even going as far as joining family game night.

           Through them; Damian, Lian, and Jon were able to get all the information they needed to survive Paris. The three had heard whispers of Hawkmoth but had been a little shocked when the Akuma alert went off and everyone had to duck for cover. After the third or fourth time, the new kids got used to it and easily swallowed the excuses Marinette, Adrien, Chloe, and Nino made about having to run off and go home during alerts.

           Around the same time as the fourth akuma of the new semester hit, three new heroes arrived in Paris.

           Well, new wouldn’t necessarily be the right word. They weren’t new heroes, they were just new to Paris.

           Robin, Superboy, and Arrowette. They assisted in fighting back akuma that turned people into candy; a toddler whose mother refused to buy him sweets. Afterward, they explained that they would be in the city for quite some time, and would assist when they are able.

           They didn’t reveal why they were there though. All Robin said was, “Justice League business.” And the Parisian heroes decided to leave it at that after offering to help if needed.

           Paris went nuts over the arrival of the new heroes.

           Alya cried in class when she found out Ladybug gave Aurore the exclusive interview about what was going on. Ladybug also publically endorsed Bugout, Aurore’s website, as the only reliable main source for credible information on the Parisian heroes. She didn’t say a word about Ladyblog, which was pretty much all anyone needed to know what they had already expected.

           Ladybug hadn’t given an exclusive on the Ladybug blog in almost two years but now it was official…

           The Ladyblog was out. Alya was out.

           Time went on. The kids grew closer as friends. Jon and Adrien got closer as… Well, Adrien didn’t know.

           He did know that his dad despised Jon because of time he picked Adrien up wearing a green plaid shirt but Gabriel wouldn’t admit it. Jon was the son of famous reporters Lois Lane and Clark Kent, godson to Lex Luther. And Gabriel Agreste was anything but stupid.

“I miss my family,” Jon told Adrien one day while they were studying in the library. “All the time. But I guess also miss the pets I have.”

“I always wanted a dog,” Adrien said.

“In Smallville, I have twelve chickens,” Jon said. “Three horses, four pigs, two cows, and a dog.”

           The blond nodded, “You win. Tell me about them.”

           And Jon did. He told all about his life in Smallville and metropolis. And Adrien told him what it was like growing up in Paris and being a supermodel.

Adrien grinned, “I want to be a lawyer when I get older,” he told Jon. “I want to fight for people who can’t fight for themselves. Like I read about this law firm called Nelson and Murdock who take all these pro bono cases to help people who usually have no chance of winning against bigger, bad-er, and richer people. It gets really dangerous for them but they just keep helping. Because it’s the right thing to do. I want to do that too!”

“I think when I grow up…” Jon said slowly. “I want to be like my mom. She goes above and beyond to get her story; to find out what’s really going on in the world and reports it honestly. I want to do that too. I want to be an investigative journalist. I want to hunt down the truth. Because people deserve the truth, even if they don’t like it. I know the truth can be scary sometimes, and a bit sad. But They deserve to hear it. But I’ve probably said too much.” He laughed.

“No,” Adrien shook his head, and smiled, “Tell me more.”

Still the more their friendship and bonds of trust grew, the more Lila became frustrated.  As far as she was concerned things just weren’t going her way. First, she lost her future as the world-famous fashion model Lila Rossi/Mrs. Adrien Agreste. Then Damian Waynes comes to town and won’t even look twice at her; too busy trailing after Miss Goody two-shoes. Then she finds out that Jon Kent is the son of Lois Lane and Clark Kent, godson of Lex Luther, only AFTER she privately threatened to make his life hell for siding with Marinette. She didn’t bother to try to get close to Lian Queen, granddaughter of Oliver Queen, the girl had been glaring at her since the second she heard Lila tell her first lie.

So instead of The Italian girl, once again, tried to sow dissension in the class, tried to force Damian to sit next to her; loudly bragged about her trips and famous people she knew to get attention. Damian ignored her. Then she tried making Marinette look bad again; lied about how the bluenette was bullying her. It didn’t work. Damian was quick to point out inconsistencies in her tales.

           That didn’t stop the class from believing them.

“Morons,” Damian called them one day after school.

“They’re not that bad,” Marinette tried.

“They kinda are, dudette,” Nino said. “I really expected Alya to catch on by now. But it’s like she doesn’t want to.”

           Chloe scoffed, “Of course she doesn’t!” The blond sneered. “She betrayed her best friend, ditched her best friend, broke up with her boyfriend, pretty much led the charge in exiling us, spread Lila’s lies on her blog which included Lies about Ladybug. It’s not just admitting she was wrong.”

“It’s having to deal with consequences,” Lian agreed. “That Alya got herself into this mess. If Marinette and all us aren’t the bad guys in this, that means she is. That’s a hard pill to swallow.”

           Jon shook his head, “I don’t understand why Lila lies so much,” he said. “Dad’s always told me honesty is the best policy.”

“You’re a long way from the farm, boy scout,” Damian tsk’d.

“Damian,” Marinette sighed and grabbed the boy’s hand and pulled him away.

           Adrien snickered, “Those two are so into each other, it’s not even funny!”

“I know,” Jon laughed in agreement. “I’ve never seen Damian be so nice to anyone before. I’ve known him since we were in the sandbox, and he just stopped calling me Kent last year.”

“Yeah…” Chloe drawled. “Watching two people dance around each other for months, neither making a move. It’s the worst.”

“Waiting for one of them to finally make a move,” Nino said, “Literally. Kill. You. Inside.”

           Lian nodded, “They like each other. Everyone knows they like each other. And Yet nothing. And we'll have no choice but watch and wait for them to pull their heads out of their asses,” She told them. “When all you want to scream is: hey, you two! Just freaking kiss already!”

“Yep the absolute worst,” Nino repeated.

           Then Lian, Chloe, and Nino stared blatantly at Jon and Adrien who merely shrugged.

“Damian will make a move soon,” Jon assured.

“I’ll try to get Marinette to say something,” Adrien promised.

“…I hate you,” Chloe said.

           Adrien gave her another confused look. Because what did he do wrong now?

Chat Galore: Dude!

Iron’s Kid: Dude!

Chat Galore: I need Hufflepuff support now!

Iron’s Kid: …Crap, I never told you Pottermore sorted me into Gryffindor, did i?

Chat Galore: WHAT!

Chat Galore: Traitor. Never talk to me again

Iron’s Kid: As you wish.

“How do I look?” Marinette asked as she twirled around in the living room. She wore a soft pink dress. Her hair was down and slightly curved. She looked like a princess from a fairytale.

“Flawless,” Adrien said, for the tenth time. “Why am I here?”

           Marinette narrowed her eyes at him, “Because!” She said. “You’re my bestie. I have my first real date. Chloe’s shopping with Lian. Nino won’t answer my calls. I need you here!”

“Take a deep breath, Mari!” Adrien told her. “You look absolutely beautiful. Damian’s already head over heels for you, and the way you look is gonna make his purpose.”

           The bluenette blushed a lovely pink, “Shut up!”

           The door opened, and in walked Nico, “Looking lovely, niece,” He said. “Big date tonight, huh?”

“Yes,” Marinette sighed dreamily. “He’ll be here soon.”

           Nico smirked, “Good. Don’t worry, I’ll only threaten him a little.”

“Nico!”

           The dark-haired boy chuckled before flopping down on the couch. “Hey, Adrien.”

           Adrien felt his mind go a little mushy. He never quite got over his crush on the older boy. At least not yet.

           The two still hung out every now and then, still always with Marinette. Nico frequently split his time between New York and Paris. So Adrien didn’t see him that often, though Nico had been around to wish Adrien a happy 16th birthday.

           Adrien tried to play it cool, but ended up sitting in awkwardly in the recliner, “Hey Nico!” His voice squeaked, and once more Adrien wanted to die.

           The doorbell rang.

           Damian brought Marinette a dozen red roses, let himself be mildly threatened by Nico, endured the massive amount of pictures Tom and Sabine took and ignored Adrien’s snickering in the background. Then the two love birds were gone. Sabine and Tom went to go finish closing the bakery for the night. And then it was just Adrien and Nico.

“So,” Nico said as he put his feet on the couch. “What are you doing tonight, Blond Wonder? Any plans?”

           Adrien shook his head, “Not really,” Jon was visiting his parents. Nino was watching his siblings. “I’ll just go home and watch Bleach. Or something.” Stuff his mouth with the hidden box of Oreos he had.

“Why don’t you hang out with me?” Nico offered. “The Maltese Falcon at the old theater on 3rd street. It’s your favorite right?”

           Adrien nodded eagerly, “Me and my Mom used to watch it all the time.”

           The two had a great time at the movie theater and ended up staying to watch another movie. They laughed. They ate lots of overpriced junk food. They talked. And Adrien finally managed to have a non-blushing, stammering, mind mushed, conversation with Nico. It was still just a bit awkward but it was not the cause of something either of them did.

           At the end, Nico walked Adrien to the front door of his house.

“It’s weird,” Nico said, “But I kind of always forget how great it is hanging out with you.”

           Adrien shrugged, “You’re not too bad yourself,” Then he smirked, “Though you’d probably be happier if you add some color to your wardrobe. Do own anything that’s not the color of sadness?”

           Nico barked a laugh, “I am the son of Hades,” He defended himself. “It’s our aesthetic, okay. And we all can’t be made from rainbows and sunshine.”

“Excuses.”

           The dark-haired boy shook his head, and smirked at Adrien, “This was fun. We should do it again sometime.” He said as he backed away.

“Yeah,” Adrien smiled. “Go to the beach, see what happens when you go out in the daylight. Even money, you burst into flames.

Nico chuckled as he turned around, “Goodnight, Sunshine.”

“Night, Twilight!”

“You’re dead to me!” Nico called back.

Ladybug and Chat Noir and the other Parisian heroes got used to the Three Justice League sidekicks appearing out of nowhere and assisting in battle. It had been strange at first; a little tense. Mostly due to Robin interrogating them every chance he got. Arrowette glaring menacingly at them. Even Superboy was a bit intimidating. Still, they never revealed why there in Paris.

           During this time, Adrien and Jon became much better friends. And the blond started to suspect that Jon would prefer to just stay friends with him.

Iron’s Kid: Johnny and Me are over.

Chat Galore: Ouch. What happened?

Iron’s Kid: ‘Dramatic Sigh’ we’re just too different, you know?

Chat Galore:  Different is not always bad. You really liked him, right?

Chat Galore: And did you actually type ‘Dramatic Sigh’, you dramatic bitch?

Iron’s Kid: I like that he was different at first. But we barely had anything in common. We were fire in and ice. Sure it is steamy at first but when the steam is gone…

Iron’s Kid: And yes I did

Chat Galore: You okay?

Iron’s Kid: I’m fine. I just realized I want someone I can talk to about everything and nothing.

Chat Galore: Someone to geek out over Star Trek with, and go to when you need a shoulder to lean on.

Iron’s Kid: Someone who’d stay up all night talking just because he wants to be there for me.

Chat Galore: Dating shouldn’t be this hard

Iron’s Kid: It’ll only get harder.

Chat Galore: Shut. Up.

Iron’s Kid: As you wish.

For Marinette’s sixteenth birthday, she had a party. It was much bigger than she wanted, but not smaller than her friends tried to make it. The bluenette was always there for them, and they wanted to remind her how special was.

           However, for the first time, Adrien was pleased to say, he was not the one trying to overdue everything to the extreme. Chloe was pleased that she wasn’t the one making the party planner cry whenever she called them. Nino was pleased that he wasn’t the one to be overly critical of the musical entertainment for being just a bit subpar.

           No! That was Damian Wayne.

           And unlike Marinette’s best friends, Marinette’s boyfriend’s craziness could not be contained.

           The party was huge. There were hundreds of balloons. Everyone was wearing fanciest party clothes. There were hundreds of balloons. Gourmet food. All of Marinette’s friends, close acquaintances, and anyone who loved and or adored her had shown up. Jagged had come. Cara Nightingale did a surprise performance.

           Adrien had a blast. His friends found out that while the blond boy had lessons in practically everything, dance wasn’t one of them. He was a terrible dancer. Laughably bad. Still, everyone had fun. Nino danced in a giant glow in the dark dinosaur costume.

           Then Marinette, Adrien, Nino, Chloe got on stage and sang Born to Brave from High School Musical: The Series. Damian, Jon, and Lian joined them. The crowd sang with. Bubbles filled the air. It was exhilarating.

           So much so that Adrien stepped out to take a small break. He sat on a white wood bench outside, looking up at the stars, and let the cool brisk night air relax him. Even from where he sat, he could still hear music playing from the party.

“Needed a breather,” Jon asked as he sat down next to Adrien.

“Parties,” Adrien shrugged. “They can be a bit much.”        

           Jon shifted in his seat, “Yeah. Yeah, I guess.”

           Then Blue eyes met green…

           And then everything suddenly felt really the world was holdings breath. Adrien had no idea where the tension came from but it was there. And it was like he was waiting for some imaginary bubble to burst. And Adrien just…  Ugh!

           He glanced down at his hands, suddenly not knowing what to do with them. He was also intensely aware of every millimeter Jon so much as moved. In fact, Adrien was aware of everything, including how many times he was blinking.

“This kind of reminds me of how we met,” Adrien finally blurted.

           Jon cast him a curious look but nodded, “Yeah, the park bench, right?”

“Mmhmm.”

           There it went quiet.

“Why are parties a bit much?” Jon asked.

“Not all parties,” Adrien said. “Just the ones my dad usually drags me to. Everyone is always overly polite while giving backhanded compliments; they pretend to be nice but they don’t mean it. No one’s straight forward.  I don’t know why it is so hard.”

“It’s not!” Jon turned to him. “Let’s try it now. Hi, I’m Jon and…” He took two plugs out of his ears, “…I wear earplugs because I can’t handle loud noises sometimes.”

           Adrien chuckled, “Hi. I’m Adrien. And apparently, I’m a terrible dancer.”

“God Awful!”

“Hey!”

           Jon laughed, “My little Pony is one my favorite shows.

“I once had an imaginary friend named Phineas!”

“I like fried broccoli!”

“I like fried Oreos.”

“You’re disgusting.”

“Oh because fried broccoli so much better.”

“Hey, being straight forward here!” Jon defended. “I like raining days over sunny.”

           Adrien smiled, “I like you,” he took a deep breath. “Like really like you.” He glanced down and then back up at Jon and tried to be brave. “Like I the way I thought you might’ve used to like me but don’t anymore.”

“Really?” Jon asked looking just a bit stunned. “How very straight forward of you.”

           Adrien stood up quickly, slightly panicked, “That’s it. That’s all I wanted to say. If you don’t like me anymore, I get it.” He said. “I… I just really wanted you to tell you. Even if you change your mind.”

“Adrien,” Jon said, standing up too, facing the blond. “I’ve never changed my mind.” Then he leaned forward and kissed Adrien. “I really like you too.”

           Adrien and Jon held hands as they walked back into the party.

           Later, after the party ended, Adrien would tell Marinette, Chloe, and Nino about his first kiss, and go partially death from Marinette and Chloe’s screams.

Chat Galore: You know what I like?

Chat Galore: Life!

Iron’s Kid: Things going good then?

Chat Galore: Jon kissed me. My grades are perfect. My dad’s letting me cut back on modeling.

Iron’s Kid: Awesome! You’ve need a break.

Chat Galore: We need a happy song!

Iron’s Kid: We. Do. Not.

Chat Galore: We need a happy song so when we can sing the happy song when we’re happy.

Iron’s Kid: We will never have a happy song.

Iron’s Kid: That’s more of a Hufflepuff thing

Chat Galore: I’d be offended if it wasn’t true!

           Adrien’s life really was going great. He became good friends with Nico. Lila’s lies in the class were starting to unravel, and she was quickly losing her supporters. Jon and him were sort of, kind of, officially dating. The sun was shining. Rainbows were everywhere.

           …He should’ve known it wouldn’t last forever.

           Adrien got a 911 group text from Chloe; with like a dozen exclamation points and several frowny faces so he knew it was serious.

           When he got to Chloe’s place, he found Marinette and Nino already waiting on the couch, while Chloe paced the floor. Adrien joined on the couch.

“Okay,” Marinette said. “We’re all here. What’s up? What’s the emergency?”

“They’re spies,” Chloe hissed, rage clear on her face. “Lian, Jon, Damian; they’ve been spying on us all this time.”

“What? Dude, no way!” Nino shook his head. “They’re our friends. Lian hates traitors!”

“Damian would never!” Marinette denied. “He loves me. I love him.”

           Adrien agreed, “They’d never do that us. Jon couldn’t. He’s like the most honest kid ever.”

           Chloe picked up a nearby face and smashed against the wall, “They’re two-faced lying little creeps.” She yelled. Though it was clear she was angry, they could also see the hurt clear in the blonde’s eyes.

“Chloe…” Marinette started slowly but was cut off.”

“Lian is Arrowette!” Chloe growled. “Jon’s Superboy. And I’ll give you one big fat guess who Damian is. And for the record he is not as wonderful as his nickname implies.”

           Pollen flew out from wherever she was hiding, “It’s true!” She said. “I saw them myself. They are the American heroes.”

“Pollen followed them,” Chloe explained. “She saw everything. They’ve been following us. Reporting intel to the Justice League all about us. That’s why they’re here. That’s why they got close to us. They know we’re heroes!”

           Horror and understandingly slowly crept over Nino, Marinette, and Adrien’s faces.

Pollen nodded eagerly, “They have reports all about your lives in and out of the mask. It's very detailed.”

           Adrien was glad he was sitting down because he felt like the floor has disappeared under his feet. Shakily, he stood up, “I need too…” He shook his head. “I have too…” He couldn’t finish his sentence instead he just ran from the room.

           And kept running and running.

           Until he found himself standing in front of the apartment where Jon, Lian, and Damian lived. He stared at the olive green door as if he didn’t recognize it. As if he hadn’t been there, in that same spot, standing in front of that door, a hundred times before.

           He closed his eyes and he knocked.

           Jon opened the door, “Adrien!” He had a large grin on his face that slowly disappeared when he saw the look on the blond boy’s face.

“Can I come in?”

“Sure, yeah!” Jon moved out of the way to let Adrien pass. “Is everything okay?”

           Adrien walked into the living room and saw Damian and Lian sitting on the couch, “Go see Marinette,” He ordered Damian. “If you want any chance of saving your relationship, if you ever really loved her like you said you; you will go see Her. Right. Now.”

           That was all Damian needed to here to fly out of the room.

           Adrien turned to Lian, “I need to speak with Jon alone, please,” He said as politely as possible. “I would suggest going to go speak with Nino and Chloe.”

           Lian frowned but nodded and left the room.

“Adrien, what’s going on?” Jon asked again. “You’re scaring me.”

           Adrien let out a shorter bitter laugh, “I’m going to ask you three questions, and I need to be honest with me, okay? Is your name Jon Kent?

“Yes,” Jon stated firmly. “Jonathan Kent Lane.”

“Are we friends?”

“Of course!”

           Adrien nodded and swallowed the lump that was building in his throat, “Why did you really come to Paris?”

           Jon frowned, “I’m here on a foreign exchange-” Adrien cut him off.

“Don’t lie to me, Superboy!”

           The boy of Steel flinched back.

“Tell me it isn’t true!” Adrien all but begged. “Tell me you didn’t come here to spy on Chat Noir and Ladybug and everyone else. Tell me this wasn’t all a big lie. Tell me you weren’t using me for information. Tell me! Tell me wrong I’m, please.”

“Adrien…” Jon whispered, pain on his face. “I’m sorry.”

           That was Adrien needed to here. “All this time. You… I thought… Was any of it real? Was anything you ever told me real? Do I even know you?” He asked. “

“The Justice League was concerned about Hawkmoth,” Jon tried to explain. “They received intelligence that Ladybug and Chat Noir were teenagers, and wanted to know more. They sent us.”

           Adrien just stared at him, “I like you,” He said. “I really liked you. You were my friend, Did you do all just because you were ordered to?”

“No!” Jon nodded, “I swear. I’d never do that to you, to anyone.”

“But you thought it was okay to kiss me,” Adrien said “To date me! When I had no idea who you are really?”

           Jon tossed his hands in the air, “You know who I am. Nothing’s changed. I’m still the same guy. I’m still me!”

“Everything’s changed!” Adrien yelled. “I’m questioning everything. Everything I’ve ever said to you, everything we ever did together!” His entire body shook. “You were sent to get close to us. You were sent to get close to me. To. Get. Information.”

           It went quiet. Neither knowing what to say.

“…That day in the park,” Adrien whispered. “You were on the bench and Chloe thought you were checking me out. You weren’t, were you? You were watching me, us. Gathering intel. Weren’t you?”

           Jon looked away, “…Yeah, I was.”

You knew I was Chat Noir even then?”

“I did.”

Adrien nodded, “It’s been a lie since the beginning,” He clenched his fists. “In the library, you told me that people deserve the truth. I believed in you. I trusted you. I told you things I’ve haven’t even told people who’ve known my entire life. Because I trusted you. I trusted you were honest and good and you would tell me the truth. Why didn’t I deserve the truth?”

He looked up at the mantle that was covered in pictures of people that Adrien knew as friends and family of Jon, Damian, and Lian, and at all of the pictures of Chloe, Nino, Adrien, and Marinette together with the three; laughing and smiling. And it hurt to look at it. “You’ve been here for almost a year. You three pretended to be our friends, to care, for almost a year.”

“It wasn’t pretend. Or a lie,” Jon looked ready to cry. “You are our friends!”

           Adrien ran a hand through his hair, “Then Why? If we were your friends, why?”

Jon shrugged, “I’m sorry. I don’t know what to say. Everything was so complicated. We were never supposed to be here this long. It was our first big mission. The first mission JL trusted us to handle alone. I could give you a thousand excuses but I know they wouldn’t be good enough.”

“They wouldn’t be,” Adrien agreed. “They aren’t. They never will be.”

           It went silent again. Jon and Adrien just stared at each other.

“You weren’t sent to get close us,” Adrien repeated. “Not just learn about Hawkmoth. But you were specifically sent to get close us; learn who we are as heroes and as civilians. Hawkmoth was a bonus. But you were sent for Ladybug and Chat Noir and Queen Bee and Carapace. Right?”

Jon looked down, away from Adrien’s soul-piercing gaze, and admitted, “You were the mission.”

Adrien closed his eyes, stood up straight, and with every ounce of control he could muster, he calmly said, “Goodbye, Jon.”

“I never meant to hurt you,” Jon said.

“That doesn’t really matter, because, in the end, it all hurts the same,” Adrien replied and left.

For the next few hours, Jon saying, “You were the mission,” Kept echoing in Adrien’s head on a loop.

Not long after leaving Jon’s place, Adrien would find himself in Marinette’s room, letting the bluenette cry her eyes out into his shoulder, shedding his own tears too. Chloe would arrive next with bloodshot eyes, and cuddle next to them. Nino, just after her, looking like a wreck and would take the spot next to Adrien.

It would be hours before they’d calm themselves down. But it wouldn’t be until the next day that any of them managed to ask what they should next.

Chloe spitefully suggested kicking them out of Paris.

Nino agreed halfheartedly.

Adrien was fine with just ignoring them. At least he hoped that he could. He would try really, really hard to.

Marinette didn’t say a word. Instead, she just let them talk with a faraway look on her face.

In the end, it wouldn’t matter.

By Monday, Jon, Damian, and Lian would be gone. Bustier would announce that the exchange program ended.

And Adrien would find himself frequently staring at Jon’s empty seat.

Chat Galore: So it turns out… Jon’s a big jerk

Chat Galore: He wasn’t who I thought he was.

Chat Galore: It’s complicated but to summarize he’s a jerk.

Iron’s Kid: Screw Prince Charming if he turned out to be a warty, jerky frog.

Iron’s Kid: You deserve better.

Chat Galore: To quote Gabriella Montez: Now I know you're not a fairy tale And dreams were meant for sleeping And wishes on a star Just don't come true

Iron’s Kid: Crap, you're quoting high school musical. You're really hurting, aren’t you.

Iron’s Kids: Want to watch shitty Disney Channel movies and talk?

Chat Galore: …Yes.

            Three months, two weeks, six days, nine hours, and twelve minutes. That was how long it took for Adrien to move on. For all of them to move on from the sense of betrayal.

Iron’s Kid: YOU STILL HAVEN’T WATCHED PRINCESS BRIDE

Chat Galore: It doesn’t seem like that good of a movie

Iron’s Kid: ‘Insulted Gasp’ How. Dare. YOU!

Chat Galore: You still have watched Vampire Diaries!

Iron’s Kid: I have taste!

           It took almost three weeks for Chloe to stop growling whenever someone mentioned Damian, Jon, or Lian’s name.

Iron’s Kid: I might need to hide out in Paris for a while

Chat Galore: Did you blow up your dad’s lab again?

Iron’s Kid: Worse!

Chat Galore: You superglue legos to your Pop’s shield again.

Iron’s Kid: That was an accident. They were supposed to come right off. And it's worse.

Chat Galore: Melt another hole in your living room floor?

Iron’s Kid: So. SO much worse.

Chat Galore: You didn’t call Natasha fat did you?

Iron’s Kid: Never that bad

Iron’s Kid: I may or may not have caused MJ’s laptop to crash

Chat Galore: … Shit

Chat Galore: Not even the gods could save you.

           A month for Marinette to not look like she wanted to cry when she thought about Damian.

Chat Galore: I’ve decided to learn to cook

Iron’s Kid: Sweet

Chat Galore:  Just think One day you will try my cooking.

Iron’s Kid: Sorry, Can’t I’m on a new diet.

Chat Galore: WHAT DIET?

Iron’s Kid: Photosynthesis

           Two months for Nino to redownload all the songs he deleted because Lian recommended them.

Iron’s Kid: Archie is one of my best friends

Chat Galore: *doing the Fortnite dance*

Iron’s Kid: I lied I don’t know you

           Three months for Adrien to be able to sit in the park and not think about Jon.

Iron’s Kid: I think are MJ and Shure are laughing at me

Chat Galore: Don't be so paranoid

Iron’s Kid: They're pointing at me and laughing.

           In the fourth month, things are pretty much the same as they ever were. Though everyone picked up the habit of pretending they didn’t know Marinette started texting Damian again. Eventually, the gang was okay when Marinette announced she was seeing Damian again; even if they, themselves, decided not to deal with the American heroes.

Chat Galore: I really thought 2020 would be a great year!!!

Iron’s Kid: …WWIII was trending in the first week of January.

           Time went on. Adrien went on dates, had fun, had a boyfriend or two. He grew up a bit, and kind of understood the position Jon had been in better. And then he wasn’t so angry. Still, a bit hurt though.

Iron’s Kid: I’m sending good vibes your way, they’re coming and there is nothing you can do to stop the

Chat Galore: that is the most threatening way I’ve ever been cheered up.

           By the time summer hit, Adrien decided to take a step back from love and romance and just focus on himself. He finally told his dad his wanted to be a Lawyer, and to his surprise, his dad helped him get a summer internship at a prestigious law firm.

Chat Galore: I’ve decided if I kill Lila, I’ll make it look like an accident.

Chat Galore: Unlike Chloe who has plans to mount her head on the balcony like a warning to the next that may come

Iron’s Kid: How will you make it look like an accident?

Chat Galore: I have a crowbar and a banana.

Iron’s Kid: Quick request: Go look up accident in the dictionary.

He quit modeling because he never really liked it. He found out he liked to paint and was pretty good at it. He tried and failed to learn how to dance.

           He did learn to surf.

           Adrien hung out a lot with Nico, who had become a good friend.

           By the time summer ended, the gang was back on speaking terms with Damian, Lian, and Job. Mostly at Marinette’s behest. She and Damian were going strong. And she really wanted everyone to forgive and forget and be friends.

           Chloe just agreed to be civil.

           Nino agreed to try being friends again after the three apologized.

           Adrien, mostly out of love for his all but sister Marnette, put his best foot forward and start over with them – even Jon. They agreed to be friends. Just friends.

Iron’s Kid: I don’t have a nervous system.

Iron’s Kid: I am a nervous system.

Chat Galore: I’m a Scorpio!

Their final year of school started with a bang. Next year they would all be off at University. And by Bang, Adrien meant Alya knocking Lila the fuck out during the first week.

           Lila had told the one lie Alya couldn’t just live in denial with.

“I told Ladybug, I just couldn’t do it anymore,” Lila sighed, “I already have so many medical issues. I couldn’t be Rene Rouge anymore. Ladybug was devasted.”

           Then the entire class heard Lila scream, and the thing they knew Alya was on top of Lila beating the hell out of her, screaming, “You lying little WITCH!!”

Chat Galore: ‘Video Sent’

Iron’s Kid: Lila’s the girl on the floor right?

Chat Galore: Alya SNAPPED

           Lila transferred out of the school Alya transferred out of class. No one got an apology. Adrien didn’t know why he was still a little surprised.

           Outside of school, Adrien was pleased to say the gang’s friendship with Jon, Lian, and Damian was back to full force. Even Chloe greeted the three warmly.

           Once Adrien decided to move passed any lingering romantic feelings for Jon, they managed to have a pretty good friendship. Even the Superboy and Chat Noir team-ups were going well.

Chat Galore: what should I be for Halloween this year?

Iron’s Kid:  a vampire, Batman, my boyfriend, Superman

           Adrien laughs until everything processed in his mind.

Chat Galore: What?

           He didn’t get a reply. And Adrien figured it was just autocorrected. But still… his mind couldn’t help but wonder. Just a bit… What if?

           A while ago, he had vaguely considered that maybe him and Iron’s Kid had something, could possibly be…

In the middle of Winter break, Adrien got the best gift he could’ve ever asked for.

Iron’s Kid: I’ve been thinking

Chat Galore: Well that can’t end well

Iron’s Kid: Have you and MJ been talking behind my back

Iron’s Kid: Wait don’t answer that. I’m afraid to know

Iron’s Kid: Ned made a point the today

           Adrien waited for Iron’s Kid to elaborate more, because what?

Iron’s Kid: I’ve been stupid.

Chat Galore: Ned makes a good point, lol

Iron’s Kid: WHAT I’m TRYING TO say is; I trust you

           Adrien smiled as his phone.

Iron’s Kid: We’ve been friends since we were like 11

Iron’s Kid: I want to meet

Iron’s Kid: I want to know what you look like.

           Adrien agreed instantly. Because he’s been waiting for like six years. They agreed to meet up that spring. Iron’s Kid’s was going on a trip to Europe for his spring break. It was just going to be him and a few classmates who were in the same club as him. Iron’s Kid said everyone else in their grade was looking forward to the Big Senior Ski Trip at the Brown Bear Ski Lodge that happened every year.

Adrien had family in England. They would meet at six pm at the London’s Eye.

Chat Galore: I always figured you were secretly a werewolf and knew we’d automatically be enemies.

Iron’s Kid: Wait, why would we be enemies?

Iron’s Kid: Oh You’re a Cat!

Chat Galore: And You’re supposed to be a genius.

Iron’s Kid: Meow!

           Adrien’s seventeenth birthday came and went without any fireworks; metaphorical ones anyway. His party was huge.

           He also met the Justice League and got to watch Chloe cuss out the greatest heroes in the world for the invasion of privacy. Marinette, Adrien, and Nino just watched with smiles on their faces.

           He was counting down the days. Until he and Iron’s Kid finally met. It was strange to think it was really going to happen.

Chat Galore: Would you say you’re an independent person?

Iron’s Kid: MJ told me to say to yes.

Chat Galore: Stop being weird.

Iron’s Kid: As you wish.

           Adrien chuckled.

“What?” Marinette asked. He showed her the text. “It kind of funny.

“Not the Mj thing,” Adrien shook his head. “Iron’s Kid always says ‘As You wish’ whenever I tell him to do something. It’s weird.”

“…Like in Princess Bride,” Marinette asked.

           Adrien shrugged, “Never seen it. It’s one of Iron’s favorite though. Irritates him that I refuse to watch it. But I won’t until he watches the Vampire Diaries.”

           Marinette stared at him, “And Iron’s Kid says ‘As you Wish’ every time.”

“Yep.”

“Adrien, WATCH. THAT. MOVIE,” Marinette ordered a firm look on her face.

           Adrien pointed at her, “No!” He said firmly. “It goes against my principles.” She shot him a curious look. “I have a duty to annoying Iron’s Kid in any way I can.”

           The bluenette nodded understandingly, a small smile on her face, “Makes sense,” She said. “I totally accept your reasoning.”

           Adrien smiled happily… Like a fool.

           In retrospect, he should’ve known Marinette would never back down that easily.

           And that was how he ended up literally hogtied on the couch, the Princess Bride playing on the TV, with a smug Chloe and a gleeful Marinette next to him. Nino watched from the recliner with an easy grin on his face.

“You’ve could’ve helped!” Adrien complained to his friend.

           Nino shrugged, “I did help!” He defended. “…Them.”

           Adrien sighed and allowed himself to watch the movie; he fully knows two things.

One; there was no way he was getting out of this

Two; Iron’s Kid was never going to let him live this down.

           The movie was actually pretty good. But then…

           The scene played…

Grandpa: Nothing gave Buttercup as much pleasure as ordering Westley around.

Buttercup: Farm boy, polish my horse's saddle. I want to see my face shining in it by morning.

Westley: As you wish.

Grandpa: "As you wish" was all he ever said to her.

Buttercup: Farm boy, fill these with water - please.

Westley: As you wish.

Grandpa: That day, she was amazed to discover that when he was saying "As you wish," what he meant was, "I love you." And even more amazing was the day she realized she truly loved him back.

Buttercup: Farm boy ... fetch me that pitcher.

Westley: As you wish.

           Adrien’s mind went blank. His heart started beating faster than it ever had before. It couldn’t mean…

           Iron’s kid didn’t mean…

           Right?

           But what if he did.

           Adrien always sort of held a small torch for his penpal. And he never had any concrete evidence that said he felt the same. And he was waiting until he did.

           But what if Iron’s Kid was waiting too. What if he was waiting for Adrien to finally say something; to finally get his message.

Chat Galore: So…

Iron’s Kid: So… Did we agree to stop sending cryptic messages

Chat Galore: We did not

Chat Galore: So I finally watched Princess Bride

Iron’s Kid: YES!!!!!!!!! Finally!!! Fuck yeah! Tell you me loved it.

Chat Galore: It was good, you freaking loser

Iron’s Kid: It’s amazing. It’s a classic you asshat

Chat Galore: Learned something interesting though

Chat Galore: ‘As you wish’, huh? You say a lot

Chat Galore: To me.

           Adrien stared as his phone waiting for a reply. It came after ten minutes.

Iron’s Kid: I do.

Chat Galore: Does it mean what it's supposed to.

           Another five minutes, and it felt agony.

Iron’s Kid: It does

           Adrien screamed a little

Chat Galore: Are you seriously just going to give me two-word answers? Why didn’t just you tell me

Iron’s Kid: In a way I sort of did

           Adrien glared at the phone.

Chat Galore: You are the most frustrating person to ever exist!!!!!!

Iron’s Kid: Thank you

           Adrien took a deep breath before dialing, “You suck!” He said as soon as it answered.

“I told you to watch the movie,” Iron’s kid defended.

           Adrien gripped his hair, “You don’t tell someone you love them by using some obscure 80s movie reference!” He snapped. “How hard would it be to say: Iron’s Kid, I’m pretty sure I’ve been in love with you since we were twelve-years-old.”

           It went quiet as both processed what Adrien just said.

“…That’s oddly specific,” Iron’s kid whispered.

           Adrien took a deep breath, “Yeah it is.” He said. He was forcing himself to be brave, braver than he ever had before. “But its how I feel. And I can’t help that.”

“I love you too,” Iron’s kid said. “And I’ve loved you since the first time stayed up talking while Binge-watching Harry Potter. It was the first time I realized you know me best in the entire world, and you don’t even know my real name. I could be honest with you in a way I can’t be with anyone. If I could dream up the perfect guy, he wouldn’t even come close to you.”

“Boys meets world,” Adrien let out a small laugh, that sounded a bit more like a sob. “Most of my life I felt alone, even when I was with people. That was until I met you.”

“Pretty little liars,” Iron’s Kid stated.

“In a few weeks, we’re finally gonna meet.”

“I���ll be there,” Iron’s kid said. “I swear.”

           Adrien smiled, “Good because I’ve been waiting for six years. And I know this is scary, but I will be there. Don’t let me down.”

“I won’t,” He promised.

           Valentine’s day came and went.

           Adrien was literally marking off the days on the calendar.  The trip was all planned already; Nino, Chloe, and Marinette were tagging along.

           Iron’s Kid and Adrien talked every day.        

“Okay if you sigh dreamily one more...” Nico teased.

           Adrien flushed a bright pink, “I’m finally gonna meet Iron’s Kid.”

“Ahh,” Nico nodded understandingly. “The mysterious penpal. It’s been what seven years?”\

“Six,” Adrien corrected. “Feels like twice that. We like each other,” He admitted. “Like really, really each other. We told each other a few weeks ago.’

           Nico frowned, “Just before meeting each other. Sounds like a lot of pressure. You ready for that?”

           The blond took a deep breath, “Yeah, I think so. It’s time. It’s going to be perfect. We’re gonna meet at London’s eyes, under the stars; it’ll be like a movie.”

“Your Ferris wheel moment,” Nico concluded. “Marinette told me,” The older boy explained. “Just… be careful okay.”

“I will be.”

           Nico gave him a hard look, “I’m serious. I know you. You’re all in. You always are,” he said. “Just don’t build this some more than you should. Don’t go in thinking it’ll be this picture-perfect movie moment. I don’t want to see you let down.” He told Adrien. “You’re my friend. I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

           Adrien gave him a small smile, “I don’t care if the Ferris wheel is broken when I get there. Or its raining cats and dogs. It’ll be perfect.”

“Just be careful,” Nico repeated.

           The big day came. Adrien arrived in England on late Thursday with a stomach full of butterflies. Iron’s Kid had texted that he had been in London with his friends for a few days and that he couldn’t wait to see Adrien.

Iron’s Kid: I have brown hair. I’ll be wearing black slacks, and a rose lapel flower pin.

It wasn’t the first time the blond had been to England; he had more than a few photoshoots there. Yet somehow it all felt different. It all felt new. And it was like he was looking at everything again for the first time.

           He was to meet Iron’s Kid on Saturday at 6 pm. And he could barely contain himself

           He spent most of the Friday touring with his friends. They went to Big Ben, Buckingham Palace, The British Museum; standard tourist spots. And eating really, really British cuisine.

           Adrien woke up bright and early on Saturday and pretty much had a panic attack. It took Nino twenty minutes to calm him down. However, even when he was breathing normally again, Adrien was adamant about running back to Paris. That was when Nino called in Marinette and Chloe as reinforcements.

“If I have to drag to London’s Eye by your tacky boyband haircut,” Chloe growled. “I will.”

           Marinette tried the nice route, “Everything’s going to be fine,” She assured.

Chloe huffed, “I didn’t come all the way to London so you can be a little bitch.”

“You are so hostile,” Nino complained.

“What if this a mistake?” Adrien asked. “What if he’s disappointed? What if he takes one look at me, and is ‘You? I waited six years, and I get you. Waste of time.”

“That won’t happen!” Marinette said. “He’s gonna love you. He already does!”

           Nino nodded, “Yeah. You two are practically soulmates.”

“No!” Chloe held up a finger. “Listen to me clearly, Adrien Agreste; Just because he likes the same nerdy crap you do doesn't mean he's your soul mate. And if it doesn’t work out, not that it won’t, you will be just fine.”

           Marinette sighed, “No matter what happens everything is going to be okay.” She said firmly. “But you should really change that blazer. It’s not doing you any favors. Then we’re going to get breakfast and go to the museum. You have 11 hours until you have to be at the London’s eye. You’re going to relax until.”

“While we stop you from fleeing the country,” Nino yawned tiredly.

           That had to stop Adrien at least three times. One time Ladybug actually had appeared to pick Adrien up when he was halfway to the airport. This was all before one pm.

           The blond boy managed to calm down after that. Then he went back to bursting with excitement.  He was still afraid but he couldn’t let that stop him. Adrien has been waiting six years to meet Iron’s Kid, to meet Iron’s Kid.

           He arrived at the London’s eye, half an hour before six. He wore a silver suit Marinette had designed for him.

           Adrien took calming breaths. Marinette rolled her eyes as she fixed his tie, “See? This isn't so bad. You look amazing.”

“Are you kidding?” He gave her a nervous smile, “He traveled over three thousand miles to me. Any second now he's gonna get here, look at me and go, "Ha. Yeah, right, you're so not worth this.”

           Marinette gave him a hard look, “Yes, you are.” She patted his chest. “Take a lot of pictures. Text if you need anything.”

           And then she was gone.

           Adrien texted Iron’s Kid.

Chat Galore: I’m here. Blond; silver suit.

           The blond looked up at the London’s eyes, the biggest Ferris wheel had ever seen, and knew this was it. This was the moment Adrien had been waiting for. He smiled.

            When six pm came, Adrien was practically bursting at the seams. He was literally shaking in excitement. He watched the people go by and held his breath every time he saw a guy his age with brown hair but would frown when he didn’t see the rose lapel pin.

Chat Galore: You here yet?

           Six turned into seven. The sun had gone down. The stars were shining. Everything looked so perfect. Adrien was sure Iron’s Kid was on his way.

Chat Galore: If your running late it’s cool. I’ll wait.

           Seven turned into eight. Adrien refused to give up hope. He would wait no matter how long it took.

           Iron’s Kid was worth it.

Chat Galore: Still here.

Chat Galore: Did something come up?

           Eight turned into nine. The London’s eye closed. People started leaving. Adrien texted his friends that he was fine.

           He wasn’t feeling as hopeful as he did a few hours ago. But he’d wait.

Chat Galore: Still waiting.

Chat Galore: Well past feeling just a little pathetic.

           Nine turned into ten. Hope kind of then.

Chat Galore: Still here. Still waiting.

Chat Galore: What happened?

Chat Galore: Just say something!

           Ten turned to eleven. Adrien didn’t even know why he was still waiting.

Chat Galore: Anything! Please!

           A quarter to midnight, Adrien finally got an answer.

Iron’s Kid: I’m sorry.

           That was it. That was all he said.

           Adrien got back to his hotel room a little after midnight; feeling numb. His throat burned a little. His eyes were a little red.

           Nino greeted him with a big grin, “Back late, huh? Must’ve had a good time…” He trailed off when he saw the look on Adrien’s face. “Oh god, what happened?”

           Adrien shoved his hands in his pockets, “He, uh, he never showed up,” he said and swallowed the lump that had been building in his throat. “It’s fine. I’m fine. It’s okay.” Adrien nodded. “I need to, I have to, uh. I got to the bathroom.” And then he fled into the bathroom, locking the door behind him; willing the world to just stop existing for just a few moments.

“Dude, it’s okay,” Nino said through the door. “I know this has to be rough. But you’ll get through it. I’m here. I called Chloe and Marinette, they’re on their way.”

           Adrien didn’t say anything. He just wiped the tears off his face, and then gripped the bathroom sink.

“They’ll probably be banging on the door any sec,” Nino added. “Unless, Marinette’s trying to stop Chloe from committing murder,” He joked. “Which would be way rude by the way. I’d have liked an invitation. I thought our friendship was stronger.”

           Adrien heard loud knocking and the sweet voice of Marinette asking where he was, and the furious voice of Chloe already talking about how she knew how t to hide a body.

           The blond boy figured it was only a matter of time before Nino or Marinette convinced him to open up the door. Or Chloe broke it down.

           However, surprisingly after twenty or so minutes of his friends pleading with him to open the door, the door would gently swing open to reveal Marinette kneeling with a lockpick set in her hands.

           That got a smile out of Adrien. After all these years, the bluenette was still full of surprises.

           Adrien spent the rest of the night letting his friends comfort him. They left England the next morning.

           When they got back to Paris, and Adrien was back in the comfort of his room, he finally texted Iron’s Kid back.

Chat Galore: Why didn’t you show?

           He’d wait for a reply all day but wouldn’t get one.

           The next day, Adrien texted again.

Chat Galore: I’m not mad.

Chat Galore: I promise

Chat Galore: just a little hurt.

           Again, he’d wait for a reply all day, but it didn’t come.

           Though his friends tried to get him to talk about it, Adrien wouldn’t budge. He just couldn’t…

           It just stung too much. It burned too much.

Chat Galore: I get it if you were afraid or something

Chat Galore: It’s okay.

           And was the truth; it was fine.

           He would be fine. Everything was good. It was okay.

           Adrien would be fine.

           That was what he told everyone.

Chat Galore: We can pretend this never happened if you want

Chat Galore: Just be friends.

           Adrien still didn’t get a reply. That didn’t stop him from waiting for one. He figured Iron’s Kid was just embarrassed that he didn’t show or something. Everything would go back to normal after a few days.

Chat Galore: I’m going to see Onward. Heard its pretty good.

           But a few days became a week. A week became two. Two weeks a became a month of radio silence. And a seed of worrying starting to grow in Adrien’s stomach. Nevertheless, Adrien wrote Iron’s Kid once a day. He refused to give up hope.

           Adrien kept a smile on his face to stop his friends from being concerned. There was no reason to. He would be fine. It was okay. It wasn’t the first time he got his heart broken; probably would even be his last.

His days were split between studying and fight Hawkmoth. The villain was getting bolder and more desperate. Every Akuma seemed worse and stronger than the last. The kids got used to the feeling of always being dead on their feet.

           Marinette finally decided they needed a break and ordered a family game night. She got the newly permanent heroes Luka, Kagami, and Aurore to cover for them.

           Adrien tried to give all his attention to the monopoly game they played; laughed when he was supposed to. Tried to ignore that in the back of his mind, his attention was still a bit focused on his phone, and that fact that it's been a month since he heard from Iron’s Kid.

           A month since London.

           He barely even blinked twice when Marinette successfully bankrupted him, even though he was the first one out. Instead, as soon as the game got more intense, Adrien stuck away. He found himself on the roof the bakery, staring at the stars, clutching his phone in his hand.

Chat Galore: I’m running out of things to say

Chat Galore: Hard to have a one-sided conversation.

Chat Galore: I’m not even sure you’re reading this.

Chat Galore: Maybe I’ll just you send you movie quotes until you respond

            Adrien looked back up at the stars and wished. He wished never agreed to meet Iron’s Kid. He wished he never told him he loved him. He wished he could take it all back because at least he’d still have his friend.

           He wrapped his arms around himself. Adrien blinked back the tears that were building.

           He heard the door open behind him and figured it was Chloe or Nino coming to check on him; whoever got kicked out of the game firsts. Because Marinette was going to win.

“Beautiful night,” A voice said. “Nothing quite like Paris in the springtime.”

           Adrien cast a quick smile at Nico, “I always preferred it during Winter. A Snowy wonderland.” He went back to looking up at the stars.

“You know someday someone will walk into your life,” Nico said as he walked to stand next to the blond, “And make you realize why he never worked out with anyone else.”

“Go ahead,” Adrien laughed bitterly. “Tell me I told you so.”

           Nico shrugged, ‘Iron’s Kid’s a kid. And an idiot.”

“Yeah,” The blond sobbed. “That doesn’t mean much coming from you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Nico crossed his arms.

“Nothing,” Adrien rolled his eyes. “I’m just tired… I'm so tired of falling for guys that don't fall back. It hurts.”

“Adrien, I…”

           Adrien cut him off, “It’s the same thing every time. I’m all in, and they’re not. I’m the one left out in the cold. I’m waiting, looking like a total idiot. Because I was stupid enough to give all my heart when no one else ever does. So you wanna help me, Nico? Tell me what I do wrong.

“Nothing!” Nico gripped Adrien’s shoulders. “There is nothing wrong with you. You’re smart and talented. You’re caring and you’re funny. You look at this world like everything is possible, and you make me believe it too. You’re not the problem.”

“Tell me why I'm so easy to give up then,” The blond asked. “And maybe I can fix it”

“You’re asking the wrong guy, Sunshine,” Nico whispered, his forehead against Adrien’s, their lips inches apart. “There is no time or place or world, where it would ever be easy to give you up.”

Nico moved closer; so did Adrien…

“Hey!!” A voice called from downstairs. “New games starting. It’s Poker! Hurry your butts up!”        

           The two guys snapped back to reality and away from each other.

“You should go,” Nico said dryly, looking away from the other boy. “I’m going to stay here for a bit.”

“Nico…” Adrien said, looking a bit confused.

           The older boy shook his head.

           The blond nodded and started for the door.

“For what it’s worth,” Nico called. “He made the wrong choice.”.

           A small smile spread over Adrien’s face, “I know.”

“I wonder what would’ve happened if we met when we were older,” Nico asked.

           Adrien shrugged, “Someday we will be.”

“Long game?”

“Long game.”

           He went back to the living room where everyone was waiting, with the cards and poker chips already dealt.

           Adrien settled in the seat next to Marinette.

           The bluenette shot him a concerned look, “You okay?”

“I’ll be…” Adrien sighed. “Eventually.”

           The blond boy decided to chalk up whatever happened on the roof with Nico as… Just the two of them being caught in the moment. Emotions were high.

           …That didn’t stop Adrien from smiling every time someone mentioned Nico’s name.

Chat Galore: Everything is possible.

Chat Galore: Even the impossible.

           He still wrote Iron’s Kid once every day. Adrien didn’t say much. He just sent a movie quote he liked, just to let Iron’s Kid know he was still there. He was still waiting… if Iron’s Kid ever changed his mind.

Chat Galore: When you can’t look on the Brightside, I will sit with you in the dark.

           A month became two.

Chat Galore: In the garden of memory, in the palace of Dreams,  that is where you and I shall meet.

           Two became three. They figured out who Hawkmoth was. The battle had been epic. Adrien’s father had hesitated when he realized Adrien was Chat Noir, long enough for Ladybug to make the killing shot.

           Figuratively anyway.

           Ladybug blasted Hawkmoth into a wall. The heroes banded together to remove his miraculous. Then they erased his memory. And then Natalie’s. Of any and all knowledge of magic permanently; defeating Hawkmoth once and for all.

           As far as Gabriel knew he was just a recluse workaholic with what barely passed as a decent relationship with his only child.

           Adrien was devastated to learn who his father really was. Even so when he discovered the reason behind Hawkmoth’s villainous pursuit; his comatose mother and learned from Fu there was no way to save her; not even with a wish.

           The blond boy had long ago mourned his mother and moved on but that it didn’t hurt.

           Emilie Agreste was officially declared dead and buried on a sunny Tuesday afternoon in the middle of Spring.

Chat Galore: Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it

           Three months became four.

           At this point, he knows Iron’s Kid’s never going to write him back. And that was okay. Adrien was okay.

           People move on. And while Adrien would always wonder why Iron’s Kid never showed, he could live without knowing.

           If anyone asked why he was still writing, Adrien would say he didn’t know.

           But that was a lie.

           He did know.

           Iron’s Kid had been a really big part of his life, had been one greatest friend he ever had; had been his first love in a way.

           So yes, Adrien knew exactly why he was still writing.

           He could live without Iron’s Kid in his life but he couldn’t live without one thing.

Chat Galore: Here's looking at you kid

           Adrien officially graduated from school. He was accepted into Columbia. He’d be living in New York. And so, would Chloe, Marinette, and Nino. They decided they wanted to stick together and keep being heroes.

           Chloe would be going to Columbia with him to study business and public relations. Marinette would study business and fashion. Nino decided to dedicate his life to being the next great movie director. Adrien would study Law.

           They decided to get two apartments across from each other like in F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Because that was pretty much all they knew about New York.

           Damian would be attending Columbia; he was gearing up to take over Wayne Industries one day. Him and Marinette were still going strong. Lian would be going to Princeton, as Oliver Queen would be damned if his granddaughter went anywhere else. Jon would take a year off to explore the world before attending Metropolis University; he still wanted to Major in Journalism.

           Damian kept hinting hard that the Titans, not the Teen Titans, were looking for new members. And as he was the current leader of the Titans, it was less of a hint and more like being actively headhunted by the most aggressive Robin to ever walk the earth.

           It was official, they weren’t kids anymore.

Chat Galore: You know that place between sleep and awake where you’re always dreaming? That’s where I’ll always love you. That’s where I’ll be waiting.

           They had a few months before they had to move completely to New York, and decided to do something special. Or rather Tom and Sabine did.

           And mostly because they just wanted to see where their kids would be living from now on.

           Sabine and Tom claimed to find this great deal on a ski resort near New York.  Everyone was invited; Nico, Kagami, Luka, Aurore, Lian, Jon, and Damian.

They did the whole tourist thing, led by Nico who was excited his cousin would be living in the same city as him and explored the great New York City, and Tom and Sabine got to see the penthouses, Gabriel and Audrey had bought each their perspective children and were assured their kids would be living in a safe location.

Chat Galore: So maybe it won’t look like you thought it would in high school, but it’s important to remember that love is possible. Anything is possible. This is New York

           The Brown Bear Ski Lodge was packed, apparently, some class from a school called Midtown had booked a trip at the same time they did. So the entire lodge was filled with graduating seniors, between the ages of seventeen and eighteen years old.

           To say it was wild was an understatement. Sabine vocally wondered why the school though three chaperones to watch over an entire class of students were enough. Tom just comforted Mr. Harrison when he started to cry.

Adrien got to meet loads of kids his age, a few that would even be starting at Columbia the same time as the French kids. It turned out most of the kids from Midtown were insanely smart.

           The blond boy ended up spraining his ankle while skiing and ended up spending most of the time on sitting on the lodge’s bay window watching nature and relaxing. He ended up sitting there long after nearly everyone else had gone off to bed.

“Having fun,” A boy his age asked, one of the few people left in the room. He was handsome with light brown hair and kind brown eyes.

“As close as I can get,” Adrien answered.

The brown-haired boy smiled, “Well if you get bored out of your mind, I got some movies on my tablet if you want to watch. I know some pretty good ones.”

“I’m good,” Adrien said. “You can join me if you want. I wouldn’t say no to company.”

           The boy did, “Name’s Peter.”

“Adrien.”

“By your accent, I’m guessing your not with the Midtown group,” Peter asked. “Also, because I’m from the Midtown group.”

           Adrien snorted, “France. I’ll be living full time in New York come autumn.”

“Is that right?” Peter looked excited by the news. “You’re gonna love it.”

“Yeah, and why’s that?”

           And then Peter went on to tell Adrien all about the places and people he loved in New York. They talked for hours until morning rays hit them through the window.

           Over the next week of the vacation, the two ended up finding themselves repeating that; talking and letting time disappear.

Chat Galore: I wish I knew how to quit you.

           Adrien introduced Peter to Marinette, Chloe, Nino, and the others. Peter introduced him to his friends Michelle, Ned, and Gwen. Like Adrien and his friends, Peter and his friends were pretty much attached at the hip.

“He pissed me off, so I put a porn virus into his computer,” Michelle answered the Marinette’s question as to why a Eugene kept running from her.

           Marinette and Adrien had decided to enjoy a nice cup of hot chocolate by the fire, only to be joined by Peter’s friends: Michelle and Ned. Another would’ve joined them but he scampered away the second he saw the girl.

“He deserved it,” Michelle added.

“He totally did,” The large Asian boy nodded in agreement. “But MJ you might’ve taken it too far when you made it happen during class.”

           Marinette giggled. “Harsh!”

“No mercy, Ned!”

Adrien laughed until his brain processed what was said, “Wait, I thought your name was Michelle?”

Michelle and Ned froze like deer caught in the headlights.

“MJ’s my nickname,” Mj explained cooly. “And we should really be going…”

“Geniuses,” Adrien suddenly recalled; his mind finishing a calculation, he didn’t even realize he was trying to figure out. “Who goes to a school for super-smart kids. MJ, scary queen who could rule the universe,” He pointed at her. “Ned; loveable teddy bear nerd with a fixation on Legos. A bully named Eugene who I’m guessing goes by Flash.” He swallowed hard, and fixed hard green eyes on the two kids in front of him. “Did you take a class trip to Europe in Spring? Keep in mind I would really like you to say no.”

           Ned and MJ paled.

“Ned and MJ,” Adrien repeated. “Iron’s Kid’s best friends…” He whispered. “Peter’s best friends. Peter is Iron’s Kid, isn’t he?”

           MJ narrowed her eyes at him, “Chat Galore: Adrien Agreste.”

           Adrien’s entire body froze. He tried to remain calm, “This can’t be happening.”

           Marinette glared at them, “Your friends with Iron’s Kid!” She growled. “Peter is Iron’s Kid. What was he thinking? How could he just stand Adrien up? I’ll kill him!”

“I never told you my last name!” Adrien realized. “How did you?”

“We hacked into Peter’s phone a few months ago,” MJ shrugged. “And traced your Ip address.”

           Adrien glared, “And Peter knew? When I got here, he knew who I was didn’t?” He accused. “He lied right to my face!”

“It’s complicated!” Ned looked at Adrien with wide eyes. “Yeah, he knew who you were when he saw you. He just wanted a do-over. It’s weird I know. I told him not to do it!”

           MJ looked at Marinette, “You should kill him. It was a bitch move,” She said. “But if it means anything, he regrets not showing up at London’s eye.” This part she told Adrien.

“Like super regrets it!” Ned added. “You can’t beat him up half as much as he does himself.”

“I can try,” Marinette crossed her arms.

“He reads your texts every day,” Mj said.

           Adrien stood up angrily, “Then why doesn’t he text back?” He demanded to know. “Why didn’t he show up at the London’s eye. I waited! I’ve been waiting!”

           MJ shrugged, “I can’t answer that,” She said. “Only he can. I can only tell you he was stupid. And he overreacted. You deserve to hear everything from him.”

           Ned nodded eagerly, “He really likes you. He nearly dropped dead when he saw you were here. Just let him explain!”

“No!” Adrien snapped. “I don’t want to see him. Ever.” He clenched his fists. “I… I just can’t.”

           And he stumped away.

           He went to his room and packed his bags. He was getting out of there. He was leaving he had nothing to say to Iron’s Kid. Or Peter. Or whoever he was.

           There was a knock on his door.

“Go. Away!” Adrien snapped.

“I can’t do that!” It was Jon that surprisingly said that.

“Come in!” The door opened. “What do you want?” Adrien asked. “Sorry, I’m just a bit busy right now.”

           Jon wore a red plaid shirt over a white t-shirt and blue jeans, “Don’t leave,” He told Adrien.

“I have to,” The blond said he snuffed his suitcase.

“You can’t!”

           Adrien all but snarled, “Look you don’t understand. You don’t get it.” He said. “I have to leave.”

“Yeah I do,” Jon said and shut the door behind him. “Super hearing, remember? I know everything that’s going on. You can’t go, not like this.”

“Yes, I-” The blond started but was cut off.

           Jon grabbed his shoulders and sat him on the bed, “You deserve an answer. You’ve been waiting for an answer,” He stated. “You deserve to know why he didn’t show up.”

“And why he decided to mess with me for the last week?!!”

“That I understand!” Jon said. “He wanted to start over. Second chances are hard to come by. And once upon a time, there wasn’t anything I wouldn’t have done for one.”

“And you think he deserves one?”

“Just talk to him,” Superboy said. “Or scream at him. Whatever.”

           Adrien ran a hand through his hair, “I haven’t been waiting for an answer,” He admitted. “I would’ve liked one, but I wasn’t waiting for it.”

“You love him,” Jon said. “You did. Or do. I know. Because I remember how you used to look when he texted you. I know… Because you used to look like that around me.”

“Jon…”

“I saw you two together,” Jon said. “You’re good together. Leaving now would be a big mistake. I’m saying that as your friend. Meet him, talk to him. Even nothing happens. Or everything does.”

           Adrien hid his face in his hands and groaned, “Even if it’s just to reject him?” He crossed his arms. “Wouldn’t it be better to just leave?”

“Not for you,” Jon shook his head. “Look, if you reject him now, he's gonna make it his life's mission to go out there and meet the most perfect, beautiful guy or girl in the world just to try and get over you. And he'll end up marrying this other person and spending the rest of his life with them. And you know, he'll tell himself that they're perfect and... He really must be happy, but they won't be you, you know? And that’s the worst thing that will happen.”

           It went quiet.

“Follow your heart, Adrien,” Jon added. “It’s what you do best. And it’s the best thing about you.”

           Then the boy of steel left.

           And Adrien was alone with his thoughts.

Chat Galore: Relationships are messy and people’s feelings get hurt. Who needs it?

           Adrien left. It wasn’t his finest moment and not his bravest. But he left. Because he wasn’t ready to see Peter. Not yet. He texted his friends and tom and Sabine that he was leaving and that he’d okay… eventually.

           He’d go back to New York City, leave on the next flight out. He’d back to the big Apple two months later, move into his apartment with Nino, Marinette, and Chloe and start his life there.

           Two weeks after that Chloe would get the opportunity of a lifetime, a PR internship for college credit at Stark Industries. The blonde girl invited them all to go on her tour with her; apparently, she was told she could bring friends.

           Adrien would frown when he heard but not say anything. Peter wasn’t the only one with friends that could track an IP address.

           It was time. No more running.

           Stark Tower was everything, the kids all dreamed it would be. A scientist, futuristic wonderland. They oohhh’ed and awed. And Adrien tried to enjoy himself and keep his mouth closed.

           Even when the most advanced elevator in the entire world “mysteriously” malfunctioned and took them to the very top floor; otherwise known as the place the Avengers lived.

“Sorry about that,” Tony Stark, himself, gave them his most charming grin when the doors opened and he was standing right there. “We’ll get that fixed right away.” He promised. “Come on kiddies, let me show you where the big kids play.”

           He led them to the living room where Captain America was watching TV.

“Hey, babe!” Tony grinned. “This is Chloe, Pepper’s newest intern. Marinette, Nino, and… Adrien.”

“Tony…” Steve Roger gave his husband a chastising look.

“Cap…”

           Adrien huffed and glared at the occupants in the room, “Cut the crap,” He ordered them, drawing surprised looks from his friends. “Where’s Peter?” He asked. “Iron’s Kid,” Tony smirked at the name. “Is Peter. Peter Stark-Rogers.”

           His friends turned fierce glares at the Avengers.

“It’s a setup!” Chloe accused.

“Heroes are supposed, to be honest,” Marinette chided.

           Nino crossed his arms, “What a letdown.”

“Where’s Peter?” Adrien asked again.

“He’s coming,” Tony said. “You three and my hotter than the sun husband come with me; I’ll show you the training room that you can use full time If Ladybug, Queen Bee, Carapace, and Chat Noir decides they wanted to ditch the Justice League and hang with the Major Leagues.”

           His friends paled at the fact that Tony Stark and probably all the Avengers knew their superhero identities and followed Iron Man out of the room.  Steve just sighed at his husband’s antics and follow him out.

           Adrien crossed his arms and waited.

           The elevator would ping, and five minutes later Peter would walk into the living room. They just at each other for a few moments.

“I’m sorry,” Peter finally said.

           Adrien shook his head, “I don’t want your apologies. I came here… I waited here… for the same reason I’ve waited the last seven months,” He said. “I only waited to say goodbye.”

“Goodbye?” Peter gave him half a smile. “We’ve only just met.”

           Adrien pointed him, “Don’t!” He said. “Don’t quote movies at me.” He snapped. “Why?” Adrien asked. “Why weren’t you there? How could you not be there?!”

“I was!” Peter said. “I was there. I saw you. I was terrified. And I left.”

“I was afraid too!” Adrien said. “The difference is I still showed up. I waited six years to meet you. And I waited at the London’s eye for almost seven hours, and you just left me. You blew me off.”

“I’m sorry!” Peter yelled. “I’m so sorry. It was the biggest mistake of my life.”

Adrien clenched his fists. “Why didn’t you write me back? Why did you pretend at the lodge?”

“I don’t know,” Peter admitted. “I really don’t. I don’t know what I was thinking. I just saw you and my mind just went blank. I thought it was like fate giving me a second chance. I didn’t do it right. I screw up. Again!”

“A second chance?” Adrien glared at him. “You think that was your second chance? No. Your second chance was I texted asking what happened. You got another chance every time I texted you. I texted you every day for six months. Those were your chances!” He yelled. “If it was over for you, you could have told me. Said something. But you left me in the dark. If you didn’t feel the same about me, you could’ve told me. I just wanted my friend back!”

“Adrien, I…”

“Why didn’t you write me back?” Adrien asked, tears burning in his eyes. “Why? It wasn’t over for me. Six months, that’s one hundred and eighty-two days. I wrote you one hundred and eighty-two times. I waited for you! It’s too late now. It’s over!”

           Peter looked ready to cry, “I wrote you over three hundred emails. I have them saved on my computer I never sent them. I didn’t think they’d be enough. They’re still not enough. It’s wasn’t over for me. It’s still not over.”

“Why?” Adrien asked again. “Why didn’t Iron’s Kid show up? Why was he so afraid?”

           Peter just looked at the blond boy for a moment, before taking a deep breath, “Iron’s Kid thinks about that moment every day. He used to think he didn’t show up because he was afraid of what would happen; that it wouldn’t work out. That he’d lose one his best friends.” He said. “That them being together would ruin everything. Because they were just kids; they were stupid and young. But that was just a lie he told himself because he was afraid. The truth is, He was at the London’s eye that night, he saw Chat Galore: the most perfect person he’d ever seen and got scared for a completely different reason.”

“Why?”

           Peter stepped towards Adrien, “Once he figured that out, and he figured that out really quick but only when it was just too late, Iron’s Kid didn’t know what to do. Didn’t know what to say to make it right. So he said nothing. And it killed him every day. Iron’s Kid would give anything to go back to that night at the London’s eye, to back to that moment when they were supposed to meet. Before everything went wrong. Iron’s kid would tell Chat Galore everything he always wanted. But he couldn’t. Because doesn’t work like that. Instead, he was so sorry for what he had done.”

           Adrien just listened.

“Because Iron’s Kid realized,” Peter said, “That he wasn’t afraid that night because he thought it wouldn’t work out; that Chat Galore wasn’t the one. He was absolutely terrified because he knew he was. And if Adrien could just give him one more chance. Just one more chance, he’d spend the rest of his making it up to him.”

“Peter…”

“I love you,” Peter said. “I’m totally and completely in love with you. And I don’t care if you think its too late. I’m telling you anyway. Because if I don’t, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life. Because I know in my heart, you’re the one for me.”

           Adrien just sighed and looked away, wondering what he should do.

“I don’t what’s going to happen in the future,” Peter said. “I don’t if in the time I was an idiot if Jon or Nico or Luka,” He chuckled, and so did Adrien. “Won your heart. I just know… I may not be your first love, but I intend to be your last. However long it takes.”

           A smile spread across Adrien’s face, “You watched it,” He said. “You finally watched the Vampire diaries. It only took you, what? Seven years.”

“Six and a half,” Peter corrected. “Sorry I made you wait.”

“I know,” Adrien nodded. “I need some time, okay. I need to get my head on straight. Before I decide anything.”

“I understand,” Peter agreed eagerly. “I get it. I’ll wait.”

           Adrien would take two weeks to decide what he was feeling and what he wanted to do. And when the two weeks were over, he knew exactly what he wanted, and who he wanted. So he made a call.

           And then ended up a Coney island, next to The Wonder Wheel, one of the most famous Ferris wheels in the world. He waited in line and happily got on the ride. The seats next to him were quickly filled by Marinette, Chloe, and Nino.

“Finally getting your Ferris wheel moment?” Nino asked as the ride started.

           Adrien smiled, “Yeah. Except I wanted the people I love the most with me.”

“Awww,” Marinette hugged him. “We love you too.”

“That’s a dollar for the overly sentimental jar,” Chloe glared at him. “And no more rom-com for you.”

           Adrien snorted.

           The kids enjoyed the ride, and when it was over, and they got off, Marinette asked, “So you didn’t choose anyone?”

“Well…” He motioned to the guy waiting at the exit of the ride. “I wouldn’t say that. I’m done. No more waiting, no more long game, no more… anything. Its time I get a little more proactive.”

           Chloe smirked, “About time. Get it, Agreste!”

“Just remember you have a roommate,” Nino smirked.

           The three walked off to enjoy the rest of the amusement park.

           Adrien smiled at them, and then smirked at the guy waiting for him, “Wait long?”

“I’d wait forever.”

[jecrite]

so I just watched the ‘Inside the Mind of Hilary Hahn’ video and noticed something in that fire alarm story, so I wrote a little breddy excerpt about it - enjoy!

—————————————————

[starts from 35:54 in the vid btw]

If anyone was gonna watch that video, you could tell that Brett was nervous. I mean, meeting your violin idol, sitting next to her in front of Thai food, talking about anything and everything? What could go wrong?

Well, he could stop stuttering.

“I-I don’t know, I like to dabble in things,” he trails off, picking at his food. “But I need to...”

He sees Eddy in the corner of his eye, who was leaning back in his chair, his thoughts unreadable.

Eddy.

The scrawny kid with the mullet who sat to his right in maths tutoring. The vulnerable musician who he pushed around in a wheelchair when they were at the con. The messy, chaotic whirlwind who lives with him, who he chose over a soloist career.

The only thing who stayed constant in his many pursuits of something different.

For the first time that night, Brett lets the words come out of his mouth, pointed and assured.

“I feel like I need to be obsessed with it.”

He finally says, his eyes fixed on Eddy. Eddy’s face remains calm, pensive.

Has he said too much?

“Creating something, or... something.” Brett trails off to a halt, relying on Eddy to finish his sentence for him. Like he always does.

But he knew exactly how he wanted to finish it.

...or just being with him.

It feels weird to almost confess in front of Hilary (and, possibly, hundreds of thousands of people on the internet) that he’s obsessed with Eddy, but it also felt right in a way.

There’s really no other way to explain it.

He did not remember a day when he did not think of Eddy, what Eddy was wearing, how Eddy’s feeling, if Eddy’s eaten, if Eddy’s safe—

—if Eddy‘s just as obsessed with Brett as he is with him.

He should probably brush it off and stay present. It’s not like they’d notice.

Little did he know that Hilary was following his line of sight as he said it.

And he certainly did not expect when she smiled and asked,

“Are you obsessed with this?”

The urgency of the question snapped Brett out of his reverie, his eyes suddenly growing wide. The nonchalant tone in her voice sent a jolt through his body, causing him to flail his right arm between him and Eddy. “This?”

Fuck fuck fuck fuck—

“Yeah.”

You know what, fuck it.

“Ye-ah,” his voice rises, almost defensively. Eddy erupts with laughter, light and breathy and perfect. Hilary joins in shortly after, pleased with herself.

“Of course!”

In a quick glance Brett turned to his right, seeing Eddy’s head pulled back in laughter with a huge grin plastered across his face.

Brett has yet to grow tired of that face.

He was obsessed with Eddy, and he always has been.

“That was a long pause,” Eddy chides, obviously amused.

Brett’s smiling now, Eddy’s voice putting him at ease. At this point, anything goes.

“Yeah, I was like, was that a trick question? Like, hmm,” he laughs, pressing his fingers to his chin. He steals another look at Eddy. His Eddy.

“Yeah of course, I love it.”

Oh, but Hilary Hahn knew better.

“Because you create a lot with...” she trails off expectantly, wanting him to fill in the blanks.

It was never about it, isn’t it? It’s always been about him.

Brett nods, almost too enthusiastically, filling the silence with anything but Eddy’s name.

“It’s fun.”

That’s when Hilary asked about working, where the moment passes, and he’s safe.

For now, at least.

*

“We should probably start cleaning up. We only have fifteen minutes left in here,” Hilary huffs, leaving her seat as she picked up the plastic cutlery from the food containers.

“Yeah...” Eddy trails off, before he quickly stands in surprise. “Wait!”

Hilary froze, a stack of paper plates in hand, and Brett almost jumped from his seat. “Dude, What is it?”

“Practice review! We were meant to show them a clip of Hilary practicing!”

Shit.

“Oh, right,” Brett looks up at Hilary. “Maybe we can film it outside?” He offers apologetically.

Eddy clucks his tongue. “With those a Capella people? No way—“

Brett thought aloud. “Maybe if we clean up in like 5 minutes, we could film it quickly—“

“Or maybe just film it in the corridor—“ Hilary offers.

“Or, I could go to security and ask for 20 more minutes!” Eddy says, snapping his fingers. He looks over to see Brett and Hilary’s raised eyebrows, shrugging them off as he made a break towards the door.

“You two clean up, I’ll run to reception!” He shouts behind him, running at full speed.

Brett can only smile fondly as he left. What else was he gonna do?

His eyes meet Hilary’s and they can’t help but laugh at the younger man.

“He really is a whirlwind, isn’t he?” Hilary asks in a hearty chuckle.

“Yeah, he really is,” Brett grins as he placed the food containers back in the plastic bags.

Hilary hums.

“Is that what got you falling for him?”

He didn’t even have to say it.

The sound of the fallen plastic bags answered the question for him. The containers followed suit, bouncing off of the bags and onto the floor.

*

What a mess.

Hilary chuckles. “Sorry, too far?”

“No, no,” Brett chuckles nervously, hurriedly kneeling down to retrieve the plastic containers and putting them back in the bags. “Not at all, it’s just,”

Unexpected.

“Is it that obvious?”

An amused sigh. “Well, to a trained eye, maybe,” Brett swears she was smirking as she said this. “It’s the age old equation: you love him, he loves you, nothing else matters, might as well put the rings on now.”

She says it as if it was nothing, which prompted him to turn to the violin prodigy, furrowing his eyebrows.

“What gave it away?”

“Well,” Hilary starts, putting the plates in another plastic bag. “Maybe it’s because of the way he looks at you, or, the way your face just lights up when literally anything comes out of his mouth,”

Brett was standing now, having returned the containers in the bag.

“Or maybe that part when you said ‘our bed’ in that fire alarm story.” [which is from 14:12 in the video btw, you’re welcome]

The plastic bags almost escape his grasp again, but he caught it just in time.

“Oh my god,” he breathes out, horrified.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fu—

Hilary’s laughing now, high-pitched and bright. “Oh, don’t worry about it,” she says as he she pats his shoulder. “I’m sure no one will notice.”

He can already feel his face getting hot.

“But... but... but you did!” He exclaims, pointing an accusing finger at her.

Hilary’s laugh grew louder. “I did say I was trained, didn’t I?”

Suddenly Brett took an interest in the empty milk tea cups, only to look up again when the laughter stopped, and his eyes were met by expectant ones.

“Well?”

“Well, what?”

Hilary rolled her eyes and raised her eyebrows. “Do you really want me to say it again? We can’t have you picking containers up all night.”

Brett sighs, defeated. Eddy wasn’t here, why not just say it aloud now? While he can?

“Yes, Eddy’s a whirlwind,” he says, setting the plastic bags down on the table before making a start at tidying up the chairs. “But it wasn’t that that got me there.”

Hilary hummed again, urging him to continue.

“Eddy always tells me how brave I am, and how he wishes he was as brave as I was,

But I don’t think moving from place to place isn’t bravery. It’s cowardice.

Yeah, I like to dabble in things, sure, but that’s only because I’m so scared of staying in the same place. Being stagnant and... complacent.

I always wanted to do everything I wanted to do back then, moving to Sydney and all that, and I wanted that part of my life to be over and done with as quickly as I could.

Because, at the end of the day, I wanted to close that chapter and just... come back to him as soon as I can.

I realised that a couple of years into working with SSO, and once I did I knew what I had to do.”

“Come back to him,” Hilary echoes, smiling fondly at Brett.

“Exactly,” he resigns. He walked toward one of the chairs to grab his sweater before putting it on. “I never told Eddy this, but, when I saw him playing with Queensland I knew I didn’t want to go anywhere else. If I was going to travel the world like I’ve always dreamed of, I want him right there next to me.”

“And he still is,” Hilary nods.

“Yeah,” Brett’s head pops out of the sweater, grinning at his senior. “I guess that makes me the luckiest bastard in the universe.”

“What this about being a lucky bastard?” Eddy’s voice echoes the room, making Brett and Hilary jump, again. “Talked to the security guy in reception, he says he can only give us 15. I guess that’s enough for a little segment?”

Brett and Hilary looked at each other, eyes wide.

“Sounds good! I’ll grab my violin.”

Thank God for Hilary Hahn.

“Great! Lemme turn the camera on again,” Brett says, finally regaining his voice. He starts to walk towards the tripod until Eddy stops him, peering at the green light that blinked from behind it.

“What do you mean? We never turned it off,” Eddy says as he lifted the tripod and set it to Hilary’s direction. “Go, stand next to Hilary and we’ll just have editor-san cut the extra bits!”

[this bit is from 1:22:21 in the video btw!!]

Hilary, with her violin already resting on her shoulder, let out a breathy, nervous laugh as Eddy positioned the camera and ran towards them. Brett can’t even look at her in the eyes.

Nevertheless, he laughs alongside her, clasping his hands together.

“Practice review!”

“Practice, c’mon!”

Brett exhales deeply.

Oh my god, editor-san’s gonna have to cut that whole bit out.

“Okay!”

Shit.

[ficsnroses]

Friends With Benefits Part 4 - Keanu Reeves x Reader

Chapter IV ~ Her Name Seeps From His Lips.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

I’m so sorry this sucks but I promise promise promise chapter 5 will be good.

Word Count : 3362

Warnings : NSFW, 18+ content. Masturbation. 

Series Summary : What happens when two, lonely friends start seeing and confiding in each other for sex? A tricky friends with benefits love story, when feelings get in the way.

A/N : Y’all I’m not a guy but I tried okay. I hope you enjoy this chapter, friendios 🖤

Keanu and you had an unspoken bond to each other. In fact, your entire relationship, which started off as just friends, only came to be because you appealed to each other. You appreciated each other’s company above all, especially due to the fact neither of you had ever had much interest in the mass of social crowds.

Sex only became part of the equation well after. You were friends, before friends with benefits. 

Of course, the sex stuck around because of how mind blowing it always was. Neither of you meant for it to, but it had become routine. Needless to say, Keanu and you had a very frequent and healthy sex life together. Your need to satisfy each other only grew with time, almost becoming religion.

•

As Keanu collapses on his bed, propping his feet up, he can hear the faint sound of the misty LA rain out his window. December in LA tends to be wetter than the rest of the months, the days shorter and gloomier than before. The steady drumming on the window feels nice. Its calm, serene, contrasting to the intensity of the work week thus far.

Naturally, when Keanu hadn’t seen you in over a week, he found himself missing you. A lot. You had suddenly left the morning after your steamy midnight session a week prior. The morning you showed Keanu the galaxies alike, woke him up in the most sinful of ways with your gorgeous little mouth. The morning Keanu and you had ventured out together for plan B. The same morning the media caught you at brunch.

Keanu and you hadn’t met up since that day, which left him feeling very unsettled. With Christmas approaching rather soon, Keanu had planned to spend more time with you this week. He wanted to have a movie night or two, or perhaps take you out to a nice dinner. He knew your family was back home, and you didn’t have anyone in LA to spend the holidays with. Keanu understood that. He felt lonelier than usual around the holidays as well. He thought you could use each other around this time.

Keanu always tried his best to show you how much he valued you. Your relationship was a special case…for sure. But it worked for you. It was always his priority to make sure you never felt used. For Keanu, you weren’t solely just his fuck buddy. You were one of his best friends, a woman he respected, appreciated, and cared for deeply. He’d seen you at your most vulnerable. How could he not feel so deeply connected to you? The intimacy you shared together was precious. He often found himself reflecting on just how beautiful it really was. Just how lucky he really was to have you fill his needs, and to be able to fulfill yours.

However, the week hadn’t gone as planned so far. Keanu and you were normally very active. You both always managed to make the time to see each other, to be with each other. You hadn’t been intimate in a week. Each time he proposed, you had rubbed him off, claiming a busier workload, or just being plain tired.

That didn’t seem like Y/N though, and Keanu knew that. In fact, normally when she was tired, Y/N wanted Keanu to please her even more. They did that a lot for each other, when one needed relief, the other would work harder to give them the release they so desperately craved, whether it was just a brief pop in for a quickie at her office or his trailer, or a long, steamy evening at one of their houses, where they left each other gasping for air by the end of it, their skin sticking together as if bound as one, their lips shaping, dripping each other’s names.

Gosh, it had been a week since Keanu had had any sort of release. A week of tense, diligent, exhausting training without Y/N to make him feel good. He’d craved her body this past week, almost as if reciting a prayer, he so desperately needed to be heard.

Y/N was amazing, to make an understatement. She was as gratifying as a siren, an enchantress with her body, so skilled, so perfect. He had had her a hundred times, which may be what lead him to become so addicted to her. The feeling of her, all of her wrapped around him, the feeling of her soft, delicate hands running over his calloused skin, the linger of her warm breath.

The way her warm, velvety, sinfully wet tongue felt lapping around him, the way her shallow bobs could almost take him whole.

Keanu hadn’t realized himself palming at a growing bulge in his sweatpants, gradually leaning against the headboard of the bed, eyes drifting closed with a mural of Y/N clouding his mind.

Before Y/N, Keanu used to relieve himself often. He hadn’t been in a real relationship in years, and one night stands weren’t too frequent in his busy schedule. Not to mention, he was never too fond of one night hookups. He enjoyed feeling an emotional connection to his partner, liked the added sensation it brought to know the woman taking him is someone who cares for him, and not just another brag to the world of sleeping with movie star, Keanu Reeves.

He began groping his bulge unknowingly, his pants undoubtedly growing tighter and tighter at the thought of Y/N. Keanu’s sex drive was rather high for a man his age, although he was never much of one to act on it. Of course, until Y/N came along. She had always been there to help him when he needed it, happy to give him the ecstasy he so desperately wanted.

With a bite of his bottom lip, Keanu slips his hand into the waistband of his sweats, feeling over his sensitive skin. He hadn’t done this in a while; he hadn’t needed to. But it had been 8 days, not that he was counting. 8 days without any release. 8 days without Y/N.

Kicking off his sweats, Keanu positions himself comfortably in his bed, the rain at the window still pelting away. His eyes catch the splatter of tiny water globes, sprayed across the glass. There’s so many of them, thousands if he tried to count, millions. Numbers, quantities, digits. It’s a funny thing to think of how much of so much there is of everything in the world. So much love, so much admiration, so many people.

Yet here he was, on a cold, rainy day, alone. Feeling more alone than he had in a while. He wondered what Y/N was doing in that moment. If she had thought about him as much as he thought about her this past week.

He pulls out his cock to the sound of the rain getting heavier, the sleet downpour thumping on the roof, almost entwining with the beat of his heart racing faster by the second, blood pumping to his lower. Wrapping his palm sloppily around his base, Keanu pumps himself full, base to shaft, leisurely, up and down a few times. His hooded eyes trace down and see his girth growing bigger and bigger through the touch.

A light moan escapes his lips at the sensation. It’s not the same as having Y/N’s tight, dripping cunt engulfed around him, but its something. Something to feel. He reaches over to the bedside table into the drawer, for a bottle of hand cream he keeps available. He hates to admit it, but its kept for times like this. It hadn’t seen the light of the bedroom for a while, not since Y/N had been coming around. But Y/N wasn’t there today, leaving the timeworn, guilt ensuing hand cream to accompany him through the deed. He felt pathetic, pitiful on himself.

But he couldn’t bring himself to stop. Not when he needed this so bad. Squirting a dime sized amount onto his palm, he jerks himself whole. A low groan stumbles from his lips as he strokes his entire length, his thumb swirling over the tip of his cock, smearing droplets of clear, gooey pre cum over his head. He closes his eyes, trying to remember the feel of Y/N’s plump, moist lips swirling him, the sounds of her tiny gags as she took him in and out.

His cock begins twitching, sending shudders through his nerves. He begins pumping himself harder, tighter, faster, grunts and low moans sashaying out of his mouth with each jerk. With his spare hand, he brings it down to toy with his balls, massaging, kneading to add to the pleasure.

“Fuck…oh fuck…Y/N, baby..” your name slips from his mouth, the thought of you fogging his mind as he worked expertly with his hands on himself. He was a bit rusty, but it all came back once his hunger for relief overtook all his senses. He begins adding twists into the combination, trying to simulate the feel of any part of your body on him, making him feel so good the way you always do, the way you so proficiently bring him to the edge with ease, as if second nature.

He feels himself close, his cock twitching, throbbing, pulsating as he yanks himself, your name habitually falls from his mouth in sinful baritone. Keanu had never met a woman that had reduced him to a moaning mess like this before, he’d never dreamt of a women making him feel this way, the way he hardened instantly at the thought of you.

He had always needed something to get him going before you, a video, a magazine, anything. He was surprised at the effect you had on him, he had no idea it was that strong until this moment.

“Y/N…oh Y/N. Fuck.” Keanu growls, whimpering as he pumps himself to the edge. Grabbing a cluster of tissues off the bedside table, while simultaneously stroking himself faster and faster, he reaches his climax, his silky, creamy, succulent release shooting into his tissue equipped hand.  

With a string of moans, he felt himself lighten at the vast amount of seed he’d released, the tissue heavier and heavier until he drained himself completely. Panting, with a thin line of sweat glazed across his forehead, his head falls back, relaxing, breath heavy.

He lets the tissues fall to the floor, as he rests his eyes, chest raising and falling gradually. He’s cleared his mind, his release so powerful, but never the same. Not what you could give him. As his cock falls flaccid, he brings his forearm to rest over his head, surprised at how easily he had just masturbated to the thought of you.

The rain hasn’t stopped. Its been complemented by gradual rumbles of thunder. The day is only growing darker and darker, mirroring the way his chest felt in that moment. He missed her, he missed her a lot. Y/N was his friend, not just someone he had sex with. Why had she left so suddenly that morning? Why hadn’t she wanted to meet up this week? Had he done something? He couldn’t shake the feeling. But he needed her. He needed to see her, if not be with her. He needed to know she was okay, and that there wasn’t something wrong in her life for her to keep herself so occupied, so deserted from him.

He reaches over to check the time on his phone.

4:00pm. Y/N wouldn’t be home from work until at least 6:00pm.

He decided he should check up on her tonight. Scarce text messages hadn’t been cutting it, and she hadn’t answered any of his phone calls recently. This wasn’t like her at all. He needed to hear from her in person. It wasn’t about wanting sex or her body, he wanted to be there for her in case something was terribly wrong. Y/N was an independent woman, headstrong and assertive. She wouldn’t boast or cry about her sorrows to anyone. Not even him. That’s why he needed to make sure she was okay. He needed this for peace of his own mind.

She was one of the most important people in his life after all. She took priority over a lot of other people in his life.

•

As evening falls over the LA coast, Keanu finds himself driving to Y/N’s apartment further into town. The tar black sky hadn’t finished its showery monsoon onto the city. Everywhere he looked, he saw colourful umbrellas sprawled about, peppering the town with specs of reds, yellows, some blues, some grays. Beads of water trickled down each of his car windows, slightly blurring the sight of the city folk continuing in on their day.

He couldn’t help but notice couples hand in hand, walking together under scattered umbrellas. It must be nice to share such a limited space with someone, such an intimate setting, shielding each other from the downpour.

Pulling into Y/N’s parking garage, Keanu paces up, into the elevator, an unopened bottle of Y/N’s favourite red in hand, wrapped in a brown paper bag. His black leather jacket is speckled with rain dewdrops, his hair a little damper than when he had left from his house. He hoped Y/N wouldn’t mind. He often found himself wondering if Y/N cared about how he looked. If she found him…attractive. Or something like that.

With a ring of the bell on her floor, he hears Y/N’s voice over the buzz of the apartment door.

“Who is it?” her soft, tuneful voice asks. It was so fucking nice to hear her voice after a week long hiatus.

“Hey, its me. Keanu.”

After a momentary pause, he hears a jingle of the lock, and the door opened to reveal Y/N. Her hair is thrown up in a messy bun, and she’s dressed in a loose v neck shirt and some sleeping shorts. He can tell she hasn’t got a bra on underneath, not that he meant to look there.

“Hey, come in. Sorry, my place is kinda a mess and I look horrible. I wasn’t expecting anyone.” She shrugs, running a hand over the back of her head, closing the door behind him.

“It’s fine. You look nice.” Keanu assures her. “It’s Friday, thought we could leisure a little.” Keanu chuckles, holding up the bottle.

Keanu swore he saw a twinkle in her eyes, complemented by a curl of lips into a small smile on face. However, it dropped so slightly, her eyes falling a little. He swore he saw it, no matter how brief.

“Yeah, sounds like a great idea. Thanks for coming, Ke.” She offers him a smile, patting his bicep. After a slight contemplation, she nods her head and goes in for a hug. Keanu was her friend, and despite her feeling a bit weird lately about their relationship, she couldn’t deny the fact that she loved the care he showed for her. Why did he always have to be so god damn thoughtful? Why couldn’t they just be fuck buddies who just fuck? He probably didn’t think much of his nice gestures. He was just that much of a wonderful, compassionate, considerate gentleman. He did these things for everyone he knew. He treated everyone with this much love.

Keanu wrapped his spare arm around her, pulling her in close, and planting a kiss on her cheek. Y/N didn’t know how to feel about that. She did feel…something…when he did that. But she knew she needed to shake away those feelings. It was just sex. They were together for just sex. They’re not in a romantic relationship. She doesn’t come home to him everyday. She doesn’t get to wake up to him every morning. She doesn’t get the anniversary dinners or the casual nights in, enjoying each others company. This man wasn’t her boyfriend. He doesn’t feel that way for her.

Pulling away from him, she asserts herself. Tonight needs to establish, emphasize that their relationship is just physical. She’ll be sure of it. The second they start behaving in any way that normal friends with benefits don’t, she’ll draw the line. She’s sure of it.

“Make yourself comfortable. I’ll grab the bottle opener and a couple of glasses.” She smiles at him, before trailing into the kitchen, Keanu behind. He shrugs off his coat in the process.

“You been away lately. Everything okay?” he asks, setting himself down on a bar stool in her kitchen, resting his head on his hand leaning on the counter.

“Yeah. Just been taking up some extra projects.” She replies, avoiding eye contact, pouring the wine into two glasses for them.

“I was worried. You barely kept in touch. Thought something was wrong.” Keanu empathized. He made sure to let her know that she was on his mind. He hadn’t thought of it as “not a big deal.”

“All good. Only thing to worry about is this horrendous look I’m flaunting right now.” She laughed, gesturing down to her attire. Y/N usually tried her best to look good for Keanu, she wanted him to want her. Wanted him to think she looked good.

Sliding over the glass to Keanu, Y/N holds her glass in the air, gesturing a “cheers” before taking a sip.

“I’ll keep saying it, Y/N. You look good. You always look good, honey.” He smiled, making direct eye contact. There it was again. The thing he did to her. Y/N pauses for a moment, getting lost in his eyes. She shakes herself out of her trance, walking closer to him, setting her glass down. She needed to draw the line. This was the time for that.

She positions herself in font of him, grabbing hold of his collar. With lust in her eyes, she lowers her gaze.

“Do you wanna…” she starts her sentence, trailing off as she bites her lip, staring him right in the eyes. Keanu’s taken back, she normally isn’t this way, she never initiates sex out of the blue. Not when they’re just spending time together, like they do often.

But he couldn’t help the bulge that threatened to grow in his pants. Y/N was in just some booty shorts and a loose top, sans bra. Her breasts looked so firm, perfectly plump resting on her chest. Gosh, he loved those fucking breasts, loved the way they provided a safe haven for him to rest his head when he was on top of her, thrusting in and out, the way they practically melt in his touch. So warm, so inviting. Just like Y/N looked right now. 

“Y/N, we don’t have to, I’m here to just…yenno, check up. I just wanted to make sure you’re okay. If you’re not in the mood, I’m okay. We can do it another time.” Keanu rambled, watching her every move as she began lowering her shirt off, exposing a bare shoulder. Her skin looked so dewy, so soft for the taking.

“No, I want to. It’s been a while, Keanu.” She mumbled, running her hands over his chest as he still rest on the bar stool, waiting for him to say yes, as she eyed his lips. “I want you.” She whispered, lips close to his ear, grazing over the thick skin.

She felt his hands plant themselves on her waist, as her hand cruised the inside of his thigh. She could see him growing harder, his pants tightening as she threatened to run her hand over his crotch.

“You know I can’t say no to you, darling.” Keanu murmured, attaching his lips to her jaw.

Y/N’s eyes went dark with the words that escaped his mouth. It had been a while. She missed the way he filled her up so fucking well, the way she’d be left sore and throbbing after he was finished, the way her thighs would stick together with what he left behind.

She was going to make him see the stars tonight; she was sure of it. She was his fuck buddy, and she was going to be the best at just that. Make him forget the world behind them.

Grabbing his hand off her hip, she guides it into the waistband of her pants, never breaking eye contact with him.

He had no idea 

what he was in for. 

>>Chapter 5>>

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Taglist Posted Separately (Ask to be added or removed!) :

[independentartistbuzz]

Good Music, Good News 3.0

We continue to be touched and moved by the depth of sharing and Good News that is coming from the Cyber PR Music camp.  Nd we are not surprised.  Ariel and her team have sent us some of our favorite gems over the years. We are pleased to bring you part 3 of our 4 part series.

Please Follow the Spotify Playlist below to hear all of these amazing tracks.

[HERE]

Thanks to all of the artists who shared their music AND their good news.

Mara Measor | “Love Will Find You”

Is Now An Expectant Mother During A Global Pandemic

I had a miscarriage back in February, right before the pandemic hit. Then was able to get pregnant again a few months later! We had another scare at our first ultrasound and was flagged with a higher risk of our baby having chromosomal abnormalities, but upon further tests the concerns were cleared. And I'm finally getting used to the idea of having a baby boy next year. It's been such a roller coaster, but I'm riding it. :)

John Ellis on behalf of Val Starr & The Blues Rockets | “Whether Blues (2020)”

Experienced Loss, Family Members With COVID & Made Music To Heal

Our daughter-in-law came down with Covid and is still fighting it, and our granddaughter Ariella tested positive as well, but being eight years old, she didn't really exhibit any symptoms.  Lost a couple of friends to pneumonia and strokes, cancer in some other friends, car accidents wracked up a good friend, and then the election happened.  Life rolls on, faith in our Higher Power keeps us sane, and had a lot of time to work on recordings this year. Val Starr, my wife and bandmate, has written a great blues song that we'd like to share with you about all of us pulling it back together again.  Called "Whether Blues" , whether you're right, whether you're wrong, don't mean a thing till we get along"

Tabitha Chapman | “Celebrity Boyfriend”

Got A Publishing Deal

I am immensely grateful to God that despite the hardship, sorrows, pains and restrictions that typified the year 2020, I was able to release 3 singles, and I also got myself a publisher.

Valerie Romanoff | “Pink Skies over Still Water”

Created An Online Music Festival About Mindfulness & Meditation

Without the hustle of preparing and traveling for my live events with the Starlight Orchestra, I stayed home and developed a way to share the energy and messages in my Healing Music albums. I came up with an online show called "Groove Into Bliss: Musical Meditation & More" where my guests and I talked about the benefits of relaxing and releasing stress, the power of music to open the channels to well-being, and offered guided meditations.  We spoke of tips and tools for positive thinking, manifesting the life we desire, and the many ways we can use music to boost our joy! Through the online show I made many connections and was invited to be a guest on many high-vibe broadcasts and events, and I was invited to wrote a chapter in an upcoming book titled “The Wellness Universe Guide To Complete Self-Care: 25 Tools For Happiness.”

Apostrophe Music | “Keep the Hope Alive!”

Released Home-Recorded Music During The Pandemic

I released whilst we were in the heart of the lockdown during the month of April. As India went into a historic lockdown with over 1 Billion people being asked to stay indoors, the air of anxiousness and uncertainty brought out this song called Keep The Hope Alive! The only feeling we all had at that moment in time. 

I felt like it was a message that needed to get out there and once we recorded it out of my home studio (no access to studios because of the curfew lockdown situation) I posted the song on to Youtube and Facebook with a video and subsequently after that we did an official audio release in July. So this is the story about this song I released as the whole world went into lockdown.

Len Seligman

Turned The Tragedy of Losing His Mother Into Beautiful Songwriting

Like a lot of songwriters, I was moved to write a song about COVID-19. While neither my health nor economic situation suffered, the pandemic made it so that I could only visit my mother a couple of times in the last 6 months of her life, despite her living just 20 minutes away. She died in September at the age of 97.

When I looked inside to see what story I wanted to tell about the pandemic, I quickly knew that it would be about the beautiful ways people have shown up for one another. Yes, there's been enormous suffering, but it's also been extraordinary to see the tremendous upwelling of compassion that the suffering has brought out. That is what inspired this song.

Steve Andrews | “Where Does All The Plastic Go?”

Had A Successful Release That Led To Idea for Ocean Aid Concerts

My song “Where Does All The Plastic Go?” is getting included on playlists on Spotify, getting great reviews, and opening doors for me in unexpected places. This is wonderful because I'm thinking big and also came up with the idea for Ocean Aid Concerts to raise awareness of threats to the oceans. I am leading the way with songs on the subject of plastic pollution and my song could be included in any concerts that happen.

Richard Strange | “Christmas of Hope”

Used Hopeful Christmas Anthem To Fundraise for Charity

We (Musicians Together & Sweet Charity Choir) released Christmas of Hope, a single produced in aid of Help Musicians UK, last Friday December. We are donating the proceeds to Help Musicians UK, a charity that you may be aware of, specifically to their 3rd hardship fund. Some quotes from the charity's CEO, James Ainscough: “Music has been a unifying force that’s supported and entertained us all this year, more than ever before.” "But for tens of thousands of music creators across the UK the impact of lockdown and social distancing on their ability to earn, to create and to connect, has been disastrous for their finances and mental health.” "This 99-year-old charity has been in the privileged position of financially supporting over 21,000 musicians this year and we couldn’t have done it without the generous help of music lovers across the length and breadth of the country.”

Jody Whitesides | “A Perfect Man”

Created Deeper Relationships With Fans

I have been changing my approach to music this year. In doing so it increased the response I got from people on social media and via email. The most powerful thing was having a female fan tell me that the song “A Perfect Man” had brought her to tears. The reason, she could feel the love of the person singing to his counterpart and how he didn’t want to be put on a pedestal to fail the love of his life. Which is the main theme of the song. It was great to hear it hit home with a fan.

Andrea Kremer (The Aeon Wanderers) | “Don’t Say Anything”

Formed A Musical Duo via Facebook Groups

After 20 years promoting other people's music for a living, I partnered with a multi-instrumentalist/songwriter that I met in a Facebook music group, and we formed a musical duo called The Aeon Wanderers. My bandmate lives in Scotland and I live in Boston, so even before COVID-19, we were working remotely, collaborating on lyrics in a Google doc and doing videos "together" using green screens. We started by recording covers, but soon we were working on originals, and in August 2020 we released our debut album, "Fictional Histories." Being on the artist side of the equation rather than the marketing side has been eye-opening and fun!

Barbara J. | “Merry Christmas, Darling”

Has A Holiday Release Airing on World Indie Network Radio

My Christmas cover single, "Merry Christmas, Darling," has been selected to air on World Indie Network Radio's (WNIR) Holiday Spectacular Radio Special! This song, a holiday classic from The Carpenters, also serves as the pre-release to my Carpenters cover album, which I plan to release early next year.

Raphaela Gilla | “Michael’s Mantra”

Guided A Troubled Fan Through Meditation And Towards Healing

One of my fans wrote me a message that she was not feeling well and asked me if I could help her. I felt that the really needed help and gave my phone number immediately. In our conversation she told me that it was hard for her to breathe, and she felt a lot of fear. I could hear her breathing heavily.

I guided her into a meditation – I guided her to consider her breathing as an angel's feather. This opened her breath tracks to the earth and to the sky. I noticed how she slowly began to relax and began to breathe deeper. She cried out of relief, thanked me and asked me about my fee. I told her that this is a gift from me to her. It was a very touching moment.

We stayed in contact. Since then, she grows and feels better.

John Mueller | “I’m Doing Fine”

Brought Joy With His Latest Release

My fave moment of this challenging year was when a complete stranger wrote to me that they heard my new track "I'm doing fine" and how it was uplifting to them and brought some joy. I appreciated they took the time to notify me and to bring joy with my music is my ultimate goal. Getting this release out there and the entire album "You are Here" its included on during this year made a positive note for 2020.  

Nia Ocean | “This Christmas”

Channeled A Christmas Song To Help Us All Shine Our Inner Light

About two weeks ago, I saw an insta story from a dear friend of mine which literally “woke me up”! I got so inspired that the next day I had written a whole song, a Christmas song that is. The song is called “This Christmas'' and I made it really to remind us that WE make Christmas what it is.. our spirit, our love, our cheer, it’s OUR light that gives it all meaning. So even though 2020 has been a tough year, we can still choose how to end it. It’s easy to expect and allow for Christmas 2020 not be special because it will be so different due to quarantine, limited travel and lost loved ones, but this song is a ray of light in these times of darkness and difficulty, reminding us of what matters most and that we all have a light within us to shine and share with our ourselves , our dearest ones, and the world...especially this Holiday Season.

Stay tuned… There’s more Good News Coming!

[gargaj]

A breakdown of the Revision 2020 Threeway Battle shader

Those of you who have been following this year's edition of Revision probably remember the unexpected twist in Sunday's timeline, where I was pitted in a coding "battle" against two of the best shader-coders in the world to fend for myself. Admittedly the buzz it caused caught me by surprise, but not as much as the feedback on the final shader I produced, so I hope to shed some light on how the shader works, in a way that's hopefully understandable to beginners and at least entertaining to experts, as well as providing some glimpses into my thought process along the way.

Recorded video of the event

But before we dive into the math and code, however, I think it's important to get some context by recounting the story of how we got here.

A brief history of demoscene live-coding

Visual coding has been massively opened up when graphics APIs began to introduce programmable fragment rendering, perhaps best known to most people as "pixel shaders"; this allowed programmers to run entire programmable functions on each pixel of a triangle, and none was more adamant to do that than a fellow named Iñigo Quilez (IQ), an understated genius who early on recognized the opportunity in covering the entire screen with a single polygon, and just doing the heavy lifting of creating geometry in the shader itself. His vision eventually spiraled into not only the modern 4k scene, but also the website ShaderToy, which almost every graphics programmer uses to test prototypes or just play around with algorithms. IQ, an old friend of mine since the mid-00s, eventually moved to the US, worked at Pixar and Oculus, and became something of a world-revered guru of computer graphics, but that (and life) has unfortunately caused him to shift away from the scene.

His vision of single-shader-single-quad-single-pass shader coding, in the meantime, created a very spectacular kind of live coding competition in the scene where two coders get only 25 minutes and the attention of an entire party hall, and they have to improvise their way out of the duel - this has been wildly successful at parties for the sheer showmanship and spectacle akin to rap battles, and none emerged from this little sport more remarkably than Flopine, a bubbly French girl who routinely shuffled up on stage wearing round spectacles and cat ears (actually they might be pony ears on second thought), and mopped the floor up with the competition. Her and a handful of other live-coders regularly stream on Twitch as practice, and have honed their live-coding craft for a few years at this point, garnering a considerable following.

Just a sample of insanity these people can do.

My contribution to this little sub-scene was coming up with a fancy name for it ("Shader Showdown"), as well as providing a little tool I called Bonzomatic (named after Bonzaj / Plastic, a mutual friend of IQ and myself, and the first person to create a live coding environment for demoparties) that I still maintain, but even though I feel a degree of involvement through the architectural side, I myself haven't been interested in participating: I know I can do okay under time pressure, but I don't really enjoy it, and while there's a certain overlap in what they do and what I do, I was always more interested in things like visual detail and representative geometry aided by editing and direction rather than looping abstract, fractal-like things. It just wasn't my thing.

Mistakes were made

But if I'm not attracted to this type of competition, how did I end up in the crossfire anyway? What I can't say is that it wasn't, to a considerable degree, my fault: as Revision 2020 was entirely online, most of the scene took it to themselves to sit in the demoscene Discord to get an experience closest to on-site socializing, given the somber circumstances of physical distancing. This also allowed a number of people who hasn't been around for a while to pop in to chat - like IQ, who, given his past, was mostly interested in the showdowns (during which Flopine crushed the competition) and the 4k compo.

As I haven't seen him around for a while, and as my mind is always looking for an angle, I somehow put two and two together, and asked him if he would consider taking part in a showdown at some point; he replied that he was up for it - this was around Saturday 10PM. I quickly pinged the rest of the showdown participants and organizers, as I spotted that Bullet was doing a DJ set the next day (which would've been in a relatively convenient timezone for IQ in California as well), and assumed that he didn't really have visuals for it - as there was already a "coding jam" over Ronny's set the day before, I figured there's a chance for squeezing an "extra round" of coding. Flopine was, of course, beyond excited by just the prospect of going against IQ, and by midnight we essentially got everything planned out (Bullet's consent notwithstanding, as he was completely out of the loop on this), and I was excited to watch...

...that is, until Havoc, the head honcho for the showdowns, off-handedly asked me about an at that point entirely hypothetical scenario: what would happen if IQ would, for some reason, challenge me instead of Flopine? Now, as said, I wasn't really into this, but being one to not let a good plan go to waste (especially if it was mine), I told Havoc I'd take one for the team and do it, although it probably wouldn't be very fun to watch. I then proceeded to quickly brief IQ in private and run him through the technicalities of the setup, the tool, the traditions and so on, and all is swell...

...that is, until IQ (this is at around 2AM) offhandedly mentions that "Havoc suggested we do a three-way with me, Flopine... and you." I quickly try to backpedal, but IQ seems to be into the idea, and worst of all, I've already essentially agreed to it, and to me, the only thing worse than being whipped in front of a few thousand people would be going back on your word. The only way out was through.

Weeks of coding can spare you hours of thinking

So now that I've got myself into this jar of pickles, I needed some ideas, and quick. (I didn't sleep much that night.) First off, I didn't want to do anything obviously 3D - both IQ and Flopine are masters of this, and I find it exhausting and frustrating, and it would've failed on every level possible. Fractals I'm awful at and while they do provide a decent amount of visual detail, they need a lot of practice and routine to get right. I also didn't want something very basic 2D, like a byte-beat, because those have a very limited degree of variation available, and the end result always looks a bit crude.

Luckily a few months ago an article I saw do rounds was a write-up by Sasha Martinsen on how to do "FUI"-s, or Fictional User Interfaces; overly complicated and abstract user interfaces that are prominent in sci-fi, with Gmunk being the Michael Jordan of the genre.

Image courtesy of Sasha Martinsen.

Sasha's idea is simple: make a few basic decent looking elements, and then just pile them on top of each other until it looks nice, maybe choose some careful colors, move them around a bit, place them around tastefully in 3D, et voilà, you're hacking the Gibson. It's something I attempted before, if somewhat unsuccessfully, in "Reboot", but I came back to it a few more times in my little private motion graphics experiments with much better results, and my prediction was that it would be doable in the given timeframe - or at least I hoped that my hazy 3AM brain was on the right track.

A bit of math

How to make this whole thing work? First, let's think about our rendering: We have a single rectangle and a single-pass shader that runs on it: this means no meshes, no geometry, no custom textures, no postprocessing, no particle systems and no fonts, which isn't a good place to start from. However, looking at some of Sasha's 3D GIFs, some of them look like they're variations of the same render put on planes one after the other - and as long as we can do one, we can do multiple of that.

Rough sketch of what we want to do; the planes would obviously be infinite in size but this representation is good enough for now.

Can we render multiple planes via a single shader? Sure, but we want them to look nice, and that requires a bit of thinking: The most common technique to render a "2D" shader and get a "3D" look is raymarching, specifically with signed distance fields - starting on a ray, and continually testing distances until a hit is found. This is a good method for "solid-ish" looking objects and scenes, but the idea for us is to have many infinite planes that also have some sort of alpha channel, so we'd have a big problem with 1) inaccuracy, as we'd never find a hit, just something "reasonably close", and even that would take us a few dozen steps, which is costly even for a single plane and 2) the handling of an alpha map can be really annoying, since we'd only find out our alpha value after our initial march, after which if our alpha is transparent we'd need to march again.

But wait - it's just infinite planes and a ray, right? So why don't we just assume that our ray is always hitting the plane (which it is, since we're looking at it), and just calculate an intersection the analytical way?

Note: I would normally refer to this method as "raytracing", but after some consultation with people smarter than I am, we concluded that the terms are used somewhat ambiguously, so let's just stick to "analytical ray solving" or something equally pedantic.

We know the mathematical equation for a ray is position = origin + direction * t (where t is a scalar that represents the distance/progress from the ray origin), and we know that the formula for a plane is A * x + B * y + C * z + D = 0, where (A, B, C) is the normal vector of the plane, and D is the distance from the origin. First, since the intersection will be the point in space that satisfies both equations, we substitute the ray (the above o + d * t for each axis) into the plane:

A * (ox + dx * t) + B * (oy + dy * t) + C * (oz + dz * t) + D = 0

To find out where this point is in space, we need to solve this for t, but it's currently mighty complicated. Luckily, since we assume that our planes are parallel to the X-Y plane, we know our (A, B, C) normal is (0, 0, 1), so we can simplify it down to:

oz + dz * t + D = 0

Which we can easily solve to t:

t = (D - oz) / dz

That's right: analytically finding a ray hit of a plane is literally a single subtraction and a division! Our frame rate (on this part) should be safe, and we're always guaranteed a hit as long as we're not looking completely perpendicular to the planes; we should have everything to start setting up our code.

Full disclosure: Given my (and in a way IQ's) lack of "live coding" experience, we agreed that there would be no voting for the round, and it'd be for glory only, but also that I'd be allowed to use a small cheat sheet of math like the equations for 2D rotation or e.g. the above final equation since I don't do this often enough to remember these things by heart, and I only had a few hours notice before the whole thing.

Setting up the rendering

Time to start coding then. First, let's calculate our texture coordinates in the 0..1 domain using the screen coordinates and the known backbuffer resolution (which is provided to us in Bonzomatic):

vec2 uv = vec2(gl_FragCoord.x / v2Resolution.x, gl_FragCoord.y / v2Resolution.y);

Then, let's create a ray from that:

vec3 rayDir = vec3( uv * 2 - 1, -1.0 ); rayDir.x *= v2Resolution.x / v2Resolution.y; // adjust for aspect ratio vec3 rayOrigin = vec3( 0, 0, 0 );

This creates a 3D vector for our direction that is -1,-1,-1 in the top left corner and 1,1,-1 in the bottom right (i.e. we're looking so that Z is decreasing into the screen), then we adjust the X coordinate since our screen isn't square, but our coordinates currently are - no need to even bother with normalizing, it'll be fine. Our origin is currently just sitting in the center.

Then, let's define (loosely) our plane, which is parallel to the XY plane:

float planeDist = 1.0f; // distance between each plane float planeZ = -5.0f; // Z position of the first plane

And solve our equation to t, as math'd out above:

float t = (planeZ - rayOrigin.z) / rayDir.z;

Then, calculate WHERE the hit is by taking that t by inserting it back to the original ray equation using our current direction and origin:

vec3 hitPos = rayOrigin + t * rayDir;

And now we have our intersection; since we already know the Z value, we can texture our plane by using the X and Y components to get a color value:

vec4 color = fui( hitPos.xy ); // XY plane our_color = color;

Of course we're gonna need the actual FUI function, which will be our procedural animated FUI texture, but let's just put something dummy there now, like a simple circle:

vec4 fui ( vec2 uv ) { return length(uv - 0.5) < 0.5 ? vec4(1) : vec(0); }

And here we go:

Very good, we have a single circle and if we animate the camera we can indeed tell that it is on a plane.

So first, let's tile it by using a modulo function; the modulo (or modulus) function simply wraps a number around another number (kinda like the remainder after a division, but for floating point numbers) and thus becomes extremely useful for tiling or repeating things:

We'll be using the modulo function rather extensively in this little exercise, so strap in. (Illustration via the Desmos calculator.)

vec4 layer = fui( mod( hitPos.xy, 1.0 ) );

This will wrap the texture coordinates of -inf..inf between 0..1:

We also need multiple planes, but how do we combine them? We could just blend them additively, but with the amount of content we have, we'd just burn them in to white and it'd look like a mess (and not the good kind of mess). We could instead just use normal "crossfade" / "lerp" blending based on the alpha value; the only trick here is to make sure we're rendering them from back to front since the front renders will blend over the back renders:

int steps = 10; float planeDist = 1.0f; for (int i=steps; i>=0; i--) { float planeZ = -1.0f * i * planeDist; float t = (planeZ - rayOrigin.z) / rayDir.z; if (t > 0.0f) // check if "t" is in front of us { vec3 hitPos = rayOrigin + t * rayDir; vec4 layer = fui( hitPos.xy, 2.0 ); // blend layers based on alpha output colour = mix( colour, layer, layer.a ); } }

And here we go:

We decreased the circles a bit in size to see the effect more.

Not bad! First thing we can do is just fade off the back layers, as if they were in a fog:

layer *= (steps - i) / float(steps);

We have a problem though: we should probably increase the sci-fi effect by moving the camera continually forward, but if we do, we're gonna run into a problem: Currently, since our planeZ is fixed to the 0.0 origin, they won't move with the camera. We could just add our camera Z to them, but then they would be fixed with the camera and wouldn't appear moving. What we instead want is to just render them AS IF they would be the closest 10 planes in front of the camera; the way we could do that is that if e.g. our planes' distance from each other is 5, then round the camera Z down to the nearest multiple of 5 (e.g. if the Z is at 13, we round down to 10), and start drawing from there; rounding up would be more accurate, but rounding down is easier, since we can just subtract the division remainder from Z like so:

float planeZ = (rayOrigin.z - mod(rayOrigin.z, planeDist)) - i * planeDist;

And now we have movement! Our basic rendering path is done.

Our little fictional UI

So now that we have the basic pipeline in place, let's see which elements can we adapt from Sasha's design pieces.

The first one I decided to go with wasn't strictly speaking in the set, but it was something that I saw used as design elements over the last two decades, and that's a thick hatch pattern element; I think it's often used because it has a nice industrial feel with it. Doing it in 2D is easy: We just add X and Y together, which will result in a diagonal gradient, and then we just turn that into an alternating pattern using, again, the modulo. All we need to do is limit it between two strips, and we have a perfectly functional "Police Line Do Not Cross" simulation.

return mod( uv.x + uv.y, 1 ) < 0.5 ? vec4(1) : vec4(0);

So let's stop here for a few moments; this isn't bad, but we're gonna need a few things. First, the repetition doesn't give us the nice symmetric look that Sasha recommends us to do, and secondly, we want them to look alive, to animate a bit.

Solving symmetry can be done just by modifying our repetition code a bit: instead of a straight up modulo with 1.0 that gives us a 0..1 range, let's use 2.0 to get a 0..2 range, then subtract 1.0 to get a -1..1 range, and then take the absolute value.

vec4 layer = fui( abs( mod( hitPos.xy, 2.0 ) - 1 ) );

This will give us a triangle-wave-like function, that goes from 0 to 1, then back to 0, then back to 1; in terms of texture coordinates, it will go back and forth between mirroring the texture in both directions, which, let's face it, looks Totally Sweet.

For animation, first I needed some sort of random value, but one that stayed deterministic based on a seed - in other words, I needed a function that took in a value, and returned a mangled version of it, but in a way that if I sent that value in twice, it would return the same mangled value twice. The most common way of doing it is taking the incoming "seed" value, and then driving it into some sort of function with a very large value that causes the function to alias, and then just returning the fraction portion of the number:

float rand(float x) { return fract(sin(x) * 430147.8193); }

Does it make any sense? No. Is it secure? No. Will it serve our purpose perfectly? Oh yes.

So how do we animate our layers? The obvious choice is animating both the hatch "gradient" value to make it crawl, and the start and end of our hatch pattern which causes the hatched strip to move up and down: simply take a random - seeded by our time value - of somewhere sensible (like between 0.2 and 0.8 so that it doesn't touch the edges) and add another random to it, seasoned to taste - we can even take a binary random to pick between horizontal and vertical strips:

The problems here are, of course, that currently they're moving 1) way too fast and 2) in unison. The fast motion obviously happens because the time value changes every frame, so it seeds our random differently every frame - this is easy to solve by just rounding our time value down to the nearest integer: this will result in some lovely jittery "digital" motion. The unison is also easy to solve: simply take the number of the layer, and add it to our time, thus shifting the time value for each layer; I also chose to multiply the layer ID with a random-ish number so that the layers actually animate independently, and the stutter doesn't happen in unison either:

vec4 fui( vec2 uv, float t ) { t = int(t); float start = rand(t) * 0.8 + 0.1; float end = start + 0.1; [...] } vec4 layer = fui( abs(mod(hitPos.xy, 2.0)-1), fGlobalTime + i * 4.7 );

Lovely!

Note: In hindsight using the Z coordinate of the plane would've given a more consistent result, but the way it animates, it doesn't really matter.

So let's think of more elements: the best looking one that seems to get the best mileage out in Sasha's blog is what I can best describe as the "slant" or "hockey stick" - a simple line, with a 45-degree turn in it. What I love about it is that the symmetry allows it to create little tunnels, gates, corridors, which will work great for our motion.

Creating it is easy: We just take a thin horizontal rectangle, and attach another rectangle to the end, but shift the coordinate of the second rectangle vertically, so that it gives us the 45-degree angle:

float p1 = 0.2; float p2 = 0.5; float p3 = 0.7; float y = 0.5; float thicc = 0.0025; if (p1 < uv.x && uv.x < p2 && y - thicc < uv.y && uv.y < y + thicc ) { return vec4(1); } if (p2 < uv.x && uv.x < p3 && y - thicc < uv.y - (uv.x - p2) && uv.y - (uv.x - p2) < y + thicc ) { return vec4(1); }

Note: In the final code, I had a rect() call which I originally intended to use as baking glow around my rectangle using a little routine I prototyped out earlier that morning, but I was ultimately too stressed to properly pull that off. Also, it's amazing how juvenile your variable names turn when people are watching.

Looks nice, but since this is such a thin sparse element, let's just... add more of it!

So what more can we add? Well, no sci-fi FUI is complete without random text and numbers, but we don't really have a font at hand. Or do we? For years, Bonzomatic has been "shipping" with this really gross checkerboard texture ostensibly for UV map testing:

What if we just desaturate and invert it?

We can then "slice" it up and render little sprites all over our texture: we already know how to draw a rectangle, so all we need is just 1) calculate which sprite we want to show 2) calculate the texture coordinate WITHIN that sprite and 3) sample the texture:

float sx = 0.3; float sy = 0.3; float size = 0.1; if (sx < uv.x && uv.x < sx + size && sy < uv.y &&uv.y < sy + size) { float spx = 2.0 / 8.0; // we have 8 tiles in the texture float spy = 3.0 / 8.0; vec2 spriteUV = (uv - vec2(sx,sy)) / size; vec4 sam = texture( texChecker, vec2(spx,spy) + spriteUV / 8.0 ); return dot( sam.rgb, vec3(0.33) ); }

Note: In the final code, I was only using the red component instead of desaturation because I forgot the texture doesn't always have red content - I stared at it for waaaay too long during the round trying to figure out why some sprites weren't working.

And again, let's just have more of it:

Getting there!

At this point the last thing I added was just circles and dots, because I was running out of ideas; but I also felt my visual content amount was getting to where I wanted them to be; it was also time to make it look a bit prettier.

Post-production / compositing

So we have our layers, they move, they might even have colors, but I'm still not happy with the visual result, since they are too single-colored, there's not enough tone in the picture.

The first thing I try nowadays when I'm on a black background is to just add either a single color, or a gradient:

vec4 colour = renderPlanes(uv); vec4 gradient = mix( vec4(0,0,0.2,1), vec4(0,0,0,1), uv.y); vec4 finalRender = mix( gradient, vec4(colour.xyz,1), colour.a);

This added a good chunk of depth considerably to the image, but I was still not happy with the too much separation between colors.

A very common method used in compositing in digital graphics is to just add bloom / glow; when used right, this helps us add us more luminance content to areas that would otherwise be solid color, and it helps the colors to blend a bit by providing some middle ground; unfortunately if we only have a single pass, the only way to get blur (and by extension, bloom) is repeatedly rendering the picture, and that'd tank our frame rate quickly.

Instead, I went back to one of the classics: the Variform "pixelize" overlay:

This is almost the same as a bloom effect, except instead of blurring the image, all you do is turn it into a lower resolution nearest point sampled version of itself, and blend that over the original image - since this doesn't need more than one sample per pixel (as we can reproduce pixelation by just messing with the texture coordinates), we can get away by rendering the scene only twice:

vec4 colour = renderPlanes(uv); colour += renderPlanes(uv - mod( uv, 0.1 ) ) * 0.4;

Much better tonal content!

So what else can we do? Well, most of the colors I chose are in the blue/orange/red range, and we don't get a lot of the green content; one of the things that I learned that it can look quite pretty if one takes a two-tone picture, and uses color-grading to push the midrange of a third tone - that way, the dominant colors will stay in the highlights, and the third tone will cover the mid-tones. (Naturally you have to be careful with this.)

"Boosting" a color in the mids is easy: lucky for us, if we consider the 0..1 range, exponential functions suit our purpose perfectly, because they start at 0, end at 1, but we can change how they get here:

So let's just push the green channel a tiny bit:

finalRender.g = pow(finalRender.g, 0.7);

Now all we need is to roll our camera for maximum cyberspace effect and we're done!

Best laid plans of OBS

As you can see from the code I posted the above, I wrote the final shader in GLSL; those who know me know that I'm a lot more comfortable with DirectX / HLSL, and may wonder why I switched, but of course there's another story here:

Given the remote nature of the event, all of the shader coding competition was performed online as well: since transmitting video from the coder's computer to a mixer, and then to another mixer, and then to a streaming provider, and then to the end user would've probably turned the image to mush, Alkama and Nusan came up with the idea of skipping a step and rigging up a version of Bonzo that ran on the coder's computer, but instead of streaming video, it sent the shader down to another instance of Bonzo, running on Diffty's computer, who then captured that instance and streamed it to the main Revision streaming hub. This, of course, meant that in a three-way, Diffty had to run three separate instances of Bonzo - but it worked fine with GLSL earlier, so why worry?

What we didn't necessarily realize at the time, is that the DirectX 11 shader compiler takes no hostages, and as soon as the shader reached un-unrollable level of complexity, it thoroughly locked down Diffty's machine, to the point that even the video of the DJ set he was playing started to drop out. I, on the other hand, didn't notice any of this, since my single local instance was doing fine, so I spent the first 15 minutes casually nuking Diffty's PC to shreds remotely, until I noticed Diffty and Havoc pleading on Discord to switch to GLSL because I'm setting things on fire unknowingly.

This is fine.

I was reluctant to do so, simply because of the muscle memory, but I was also aware that I should keep the show going if I can because if I bow out without a result, that would be a colossal embarrassment to everyone involved, and I only can take one of those once every week, and I was already above my quota - so, I quickly closed the DX11 version of Bonzo, loaded the shader up in a text editor, replaced "floatX" with "vecX" (fun drinking game: take a shot every time I messed it up during the live event), commented the whole thing out, loaded it into a GLSL bonzo, and quickly fixed all the other syntax differences (of which there were luckily not many, stuff like "mix" instead of "lerp", constructors, etc.), and within a few minutes I was back up and running.

This, weirdly, helped my morale a bit, because it was the kind of clutch move that for some reason appealed to me, and made me quite happy - although at that point I locked in so bad that not only did I pay absolutely not attention to the stream to see what the other two are doing, but that the drinks and snacks I prepared for the hour of battling went completely untouched.

In the end, when the hour clocked off, the shader itself turned out more or less how I wanted it, it worked really well with Bullet's techno-/psy-/hardtrance mix (not necessarily my jam, as everyone knows I'm more a broken beat guy, but pounding monotony can go well with coding focus), and I came away satisfied, although the perhaps saddest point of the adventure was yet to come: the lack of cathartic real-life ending that was taken from us due to the physical distance, when after all the excitement, all the cheers and hugs were merely lines of text on a screen - but you gotta deal with what you gotta deal with.

A small sampling of the Twitch reaction.

Conclusion

In the end, what was my takeaway from the experience?

First off, scoping is everything: Always aim to get an idea where you can maximize the outcome of the time invested with the highest amount of confidence of pulling it off. In this case, even though I was on short notice and in an environment I was unfamiliar with, I relied on something I knew, something I've done before, but no one else really has.

Secondly, broaden your influence: You never know when you can take something that seems initially unrelated, and bend it into something that you're doing with good results.

Thirdly, and perhaps most importantly, step out of your comfort zone every so often; you'll never know what you'll find.

(And don't agree to everything willy-nilly, you absolute moron.)

[thermopylod]

SMOOCHES! Souyo, #7 "to shut them up," bonus points if Yosuke if shutting Yu up. >:D

Speechless

~1k words, gen/T rating. Enjoy :)

Yosuke had no idea how anyone could think Yu was a quiet guy. Sure, he tended to be reserved in public, picking his words carefully when he spoke at all, but behind closed doors he was an absolute chatterbox. Yosuke knew this well, as they spent the majority of their free afternoons together, in one or the other’s bedroom. Most of the time, Yosuke loved listening to Yu talk about his jobs, the cats under his carport, his fishing skills, their TV world plans, and just about anything and everything else in his life. With his friends back in the city, they’d never really spoken much. About idols and movies and the latest video games, sure, but not about stuff that really mattered. Not about their passions, their feelings, all those things that made them who they truly were.

So Yosuke liked that Yu was chatty when it was just the two of them. He really did. But right now, he wanted to find out what was going to happen next in this TV show, and Yu just would. Not. Shut. Up. Yosuke had tried ignoring him, turning away from him on the couch and towards the TV, humming the show’s theme song… but Yu was still going on about Mesopotamia or some other weird old place that they’d learned about in class that day.

It wouldn’t have been so bad if he could just have tuned him out, like he always did with Teddie, but Yu’s voice always had a weird hypnotic effect on him. Yosuke just couldn’t help but focus on it. He’d already missed at least two good lines, judging from the laugh track, and he was starting to wonder if it was considered improper to choke your best friend.

“So what’s really cool is that like, it was so long ago, right? But they’re actually the reason we use base 60 for timekeeping even today!”

No, Yu. That was not cool. What was cool was the main character finally—aw, damn it! Now he’d apparently missed the confession scene. That was just going too far. He turned to glare at Yu and his offending mouth, and did what seemed most logical to finally get it to stop making so much noise—leaned over, and pressed his lips to it forcefully. Can’t talk when you’re kissing.

When he drew away, it was blessedly quiet.

Too quiet, maybe, he realised when the show’s end credits started rolling ten minutes later and Yu still hadn’t made a sound. He looked at his friend to find him staring, shell-shocked, at nothing in particular, face flushed and fingers pressed to his lips.

Oh, shit.

Now that his brain wasn’t completely clouded with exasperation and annoyance, he was becoming rapidly aware that kissing someone to shut them up was very much not a logical decision. At all. He considered freaking out about it, but, well, Yu wasn’t anything to be afraid of. He wasn’t like, say, Kanji, with his hulking mass of muscles and bleached hair and leather clothes. He was just … Yu, his best friend full of contrasts and contradictions, soft and strong and smart and stupid all at once, and Yosuke couldn’t find it in himself to feel afraid of wanting to kiss him.

Because he definitely did—want to kiss him, that is. Had wanted to for a long time, now that he thought about it. Yu was kind, always took his side, never made him feel dumb or awkward—which was truly impressive, considering he’d seen his Shadow—and was very, very much attractive. Yosuke wasn’t blind, ok. His molten silver eyes were gorgeous, and those abs he saw when they changed for gym…

Yosuke stopped that train of thought before it could get any further. In any case, it was all well and good for him to be fine with kissing Yu, but that was somewhat ignoring the other half of the equation.

“Yu, I’m so sorry. I didn’t even ask you, that’s so not ok—”

Yu, though, grabbed his hand where it was curled into a fist against the couch and squeezed it, interrupting his apology. The smile on his face wasn’t one Yosuke had ever seen before; it wasn’t sharp like when he was joking around, or soft like when he looked at Nanako. Well, actually, maybe it was a little like that soft smile, but only if softness was something that could be turned up to a thousand. It was exceedingly rare for Yu to smile with his teeth showing so brightly, and Yosuke felt almost blinded.

“I don’t mind. Really,” Yu replied through his smile. “But… why now? Does Babylon get you hot?”

Yosuke made a face and drew his hand back. “No! Please, ugh. It was just… you wouldn’t stop talking and I couldn’t hear the show…”

Yosuke cringed at himself. This was one of those times Yukiko had been telling him about, wasn’t it, when you were supposed to lie for the sake of politeness. Telling someone you wanted them to shut up was rude no matter the situation, but telling your best friend, whom you’d just kissed, that you wanted them to shut up, that was on a whole other level. Yosuke cursed his eternal foot-in-mouth syndrome.

To his relief, Yu didn’t get mad but rather burst out laughing, reaching an arm around Yosuke’s shoulders to support himself as he wiped the tears from his eyes.

“I’m sorry, Yosuke. I would promise to talk less, but if this is what it gets me, I’m not sure I’m too inclined to stop…”

Yosuke rolled his eyes. “Don’t talk less. I love listening to you. Just… not when we’re watching something, OK?”

No answer came, and when he looked into Yu’s eyes he saw that he was looking off into the distance again.

“Yu?”

Yu blinked and focused on Yosuke with a tender expression on his face, like he’d just seen the cutest kitten in town walk by.

“You love listening to me?”

Yosuke facepalmed. “Oh my god, partner.”

Even behind closed doors, Yu wasn’t so talkative anymore these days. His mouth was usually too busy doing other things; things like kissing Yosuke’s cheek, or his hair, or his neck, or his fingertips, or most frequently, his lips. It wasn’t any better than his endless words had been when it came to trying to watch a show, but Yosuke found that for some reason, he didn’t mind this kind of interruption at all.

[ao3 link]

[willbethinasfck-blog]

If abuse were such a big problem

If abuse were such a big problem, Anna says, then why would any Romanian girls bother with it at all? Why wouldn't they just find some other job? In a country whose GDP only stopped shrinking two years ago, with 20 per cent of the population living below the poverty line and personal income levels far below Kazakhstan, Iran and Gabon, that question answers itself. There's a reason Anna's so happy to be independent from her former employers, a status she equates with nothing less than her "freedom"."With the Feds closing down and tightening the control on casino and poker sites, some of those [criminal] elements have found a new way of doing business: the Cam Industry. Let me make clear that this is in no way an MFC problem where I work. This is an industry-wide problem which will need to be addressed if this industry wants to survive."For my first show I applied some make­up, did my hair and put on a deep v-neck leotard. It was the middle of summer and boiling hot even in just that. I sat on my bed, placed my webcam facing toward me and sat doodling in my sketchpad, waiting for patrons.But despite fulfilling all my internet male expectations, Anna's impossible to really pin down. On both IM and video chat, she's prone to mannerisms and quips that make you want to pay for her time. A lot of it. She's beautiful without surfeit, an honest form that's pleasing even over a low-resolution video stream. Her English is fantastic, her personality disarming. She'll sit casually, like a girl the morning after a sleepover, musing about her cats and future. When she first "performed" for me on camera, discarding her herd of cats and cigarette for a bottle of baby oil, a few alarmed neurons felt like I should rush to Bucharest and wrap a blanket around her. Her innocence is a cool switch. The tokens evaporated.

The basic premise of the cam girl game is a simple one: You pay a girl for her time, and in exchange, she'll take off her clothes, talk to you, play with herself (and others), or any combination thereof. When your money is up, so's your time — the two of you part ways until you've got the cash and willingness to go at it again. And when that time comes, you'll have thousands upon thousands of girls ready to swivel and smile for you in real time. It's a massive catalogue of preening women of every variety: big, skeletal, black, white, Asian, American, Greek, Czech, etc. To find them, look no further than the Big Three of cam girl delight: Streamate, LiveJasmine and MyFreeCams. These three mega-networks advertise across the mainstream porn tube sites of masturbating ubiquity — PornHub, ClipHunter, etc — but are shells and shadows themselves. So how do you get in?But there's really nothing exotic about Anna. She's occasionally lazy and often messy, spending most of her days, as far as I can tell, puttering around her Bucharest apartment in pajamas, playing with her cats, drinking enormous plastic bottles of soda, working on coding an iOS game, and taking occasional trips out to pick up fried chicken and buy new underwear. She claims to have almost no "real" friends off of the internet, but is consistently cheery, and enormously talkative. While video chatting, she always asks if I mind before she smokes. Anna complains about having to take time away from Diablo 3 for her cam sessions, where she chats with regulars, masturbates, mouths along to pop songs, and waits, waits, waits for someone to send her money. And when it comes, it comes. Anna's a MyFreeCam loyalist, earning $US6 a minute via "tokens" — a clever way to obscure how much her customers actually spend. It's a lot easier to fork over 900 tokens than thinking about the $US75 you just spent in minutes. This is Anna's sole income, and what took her out of rural Romanian poverty and the whims of other men.To this end, Studio 20 employs trainers, a psychologist and an English teacher. Most of the clients are North American and European, so it is essential the models can communicate with them.But the English teacher, Andrea, has a remit that goes far beyond language skills.

"It's up to you as a woman to lead, and that's quite empowering."Some of the girls broadcast risqué photos of themselves for free using sites like Instagram and Tumblr while others only use sites which require payment before viewing. Being a cam girl, specifically, can be a great option for sex workers because it’s a lot safer than when you are with a client in person. Cam girls still have to protect themselves, of course; making sure people can’t find out their addresses or real names. Those are things that workers in all facets of the sex industry have to worry about, whether you’re a stripper or an escort. But cam girls have the privilege of working from their homes or a studio, where they don't have that threat of violence or diseases. Or they just don’t have to deal with a client having bad breath.It sucks, because Cam Girling was pretty fun: I got to choose my own hours, what I wore, what I did and who I wanted to talk to. The paranoia that came with the knowledge of the stigma attached was the only downside. That and the random twelvie trolls that would appear and write: ‘Your face is shiny’ in the comments. Yeah mate, it’s 40 degrees. Can’t you read the profile that says, ‘Australian’? CONTINUED BELOW...

[lord-dusk]

Jurassic Emblem-Chapter 10

Scales are quite tricky to draw. Anyhow, there’s the second boss of the game!

 Nifl was a cold, desolate land of snow,bones,ice,and blood. Frozen blood. It wasn’t quite the Kirby-esque happy place you’d thought it would be, after the Nifl-Muspell incident where Askran forces killed off warped versions of video-game protagonists and The elder Nifl princess Guunthra being roasted alive like some yummy Barbie-Cute pork. And the situation got particularly better when the sun-dragon Helios was frozen solid, condemning the whole area into everlasting night.

At least the stars and moon looked very charming and exquisite, white stellar bodies illuminating the aqua-blue sky.

Blue and Lucina were marching through the snow, huddling each other for thermal radiation. Blue, having grown up on a tropical island for much of her life, had borrowed Lucina’s scarf and cape for extra warmth(don’t get into that frappucino debate on feathers please). Lucina, having grown up in a desert country with enough rainfall to sustain a 15m-tall scythe-wielding flesh golem, found it rather uncomfortable trekking through the snow. Ryukami the mosasaurus had stayed behind at the ice-floes to catch up on some Nisioisin novels.

The raptors were marching onwards to the north of Nifl, sometimes passing by some shrubs and frost-covered rocks. Just when Lucina thought things were getting rather monotonous, she saw something rustle out of the bushes. Blue took notice as well and saw what appeared to be a penguin-like bird with white spots on its face waddling in a panicked manner before a fox-squirrel thing pounced on it and tore apart its head from its socket, crimson blood and pieces of esophagus and vocal cord spilling out unto the snow and dying it red. Blue and Lucina were eyeing the fox-squirrel as it dug heavy mitten-like foreclaws into the bird’s torso and stringy pink intestines splooged out. Lucina decided to look away and went on her way. Blue paid no attention to the carnage after that as well.

“That was a Repenomamus devouring a Great Auk,” Blue explained. “The world where I from, InGen didn’t simply revived dinosaurs, they brought back Paleozoic and Cenozoic fauna as well. Although if I were you, I wouldn’t dare pet a reppy.”

“Why? Are they dangerous?” Lucina asked. Blue can easily tell right off the bat that humans like Lucina had a profound desire to prod and hold small,furry mammals.

“Oh yes. Reppies are one mammal you do NOT want to pet; despite looking like a Pomeranian with mole-claws, they WILL try to eviscerate you; for a mammal from the Mesozoic they are quite big enough to eat small dinosaurs.”

“Hmm? I assumed mammals evolved after the demise of the giant lizards.”

“Actually, they co-existed with the dinosaurs, though they were bit characters in a world dominated by reptiles bursting with presence and charisma. Repenomamus was the biggest furry during its time, but most of its kin were barely any bigger than an Amiibo figure.”

“And that penguin-looking bird?”

“Uh-huh. That great auk was NOT a penguin-it’s actually more closely related to puffins than to the famous diving birds south of the Equator. Although, it was the the only auk that converted its flight power to swimming power completely, and those damn humans wiped its existence off the face of the Earth.”

“You know quite a lot about animals before the dawn of man, don’t you?” Lucina commented.

“I’m a creature from before man myself, though I wouldn’t be too surprised if InGen resurrected species routed by humanity, like the dodo and the gastric mouth-brooding frog.” Blue replied.

“Come to think of it, isn’t it harder to clone a mammal than say, a reptile or a fish?”

“Yes, Henry Wu of InGen has cloned mammals occasionally, but found it quite tedious because mammalian red cells do not have nuclei, where the DNA are located. You would need to find white cells, which are much less common than their red counterparts in a ratio of 2 to 12.”

“Reptiles and birds, on the other hand, have nuclei within their red blood cells, and Henry Wu is a genius when it comes to manipulating DNA.” Blue explained, frowning.

“Who is this Henry Wu that you speak of ?”

“Why, as a human being, Dr.Henry Wu is a tacky SOB who creates red-eyed, mangled-toothed fatherfuckers and is considered a most dangerous man with the most dangerous technology in the sad history of humanity. He attempted to use my blood to create a line of Indoraptors to sell off for military purposes.”

Seems Wu sounds a LOT like that sperm-slurper Validar, Lucina grimly thought.

 The two of them chatted like this for the entirely of their walk until they reached Nifl Castle.

                                              *********

 Blue and Lucina had arrived at the castle of Nifl, but they were no guards to greet them. Well they were guards present-but they were frozen solid, and clusters of repenomamuses were busily gnawing away at the frozen body cavities.

 I guess a species changes its behavior accordingly to the environment, Blue though as she and her partner pushed the gates open. They went inside the interior and up the stairs.

“Something tells me the weather outside isn’t the reason those soldiers were icicles,” Lucina said, walking behind Blue.”Would it be a bad idea to go into the kitchen wing and grab some potions for the upcoming boss fight?”

The charcoal velociraptor sniffed the solid,icy air. It stinged her nose. “I don’t see why not,” she answered. “though if you see some ANY creature, reppy or not, attacking you, don’t hesitate to knock their heads off.”

Blue waited at the second floor while Lucina brisky walked to the the kitchen downstairs. A few minutes later, she was back.

“Are you ready for certain? During the boss-fight there will be no pee-pee breaks, and no daddy in white shining armor with a shotgun and a motorbike crashing through the windows to save either of us. Understood?” Blue interviewed.

“No need for any of that,” Lucina replied. “Let’s get this over with. I feel as though my body is becoming a gelato cone.”

 “Good. If my nose knows, she is just around the corner. Follow me.” the raptors headed to the corridor on the right and came across a door that read “Hrid’s Room: Out for Lunch”. They entered.

“Ugh. That was the fifth time someone has stepped in without my consent,” an icy voice hissed. “Do any of you thin-telligent organisms register the concept of knocking?”

 A woman was lounging on an oblong bed spotted with various books. But not a regular woman. Her lower half was that of a boa’s, turquoise-green with purple stripes, and covered with icicles.Her hair-piece were icicles as well, and her Victorian-style corset colored electric blue and black made the entire “cool” effect perfect,considering her expressions suggested otherwise.

“What do you bipeds want?” The snake woman demanded. “Did you interrupt my inspirational reading just so you can become like those popsicles outside?”

“We just want to talk,” Lucina answered.

The snake snorted. “Don’t be honest with me, be honest with you. What you really came here for is my bloody limp body that you can use to nail onto this country’s gates like a crooked Christmas decoration. Is that it, O Exalted Princess?

“Why did you freeze the sun-god? Do you recognize the biblical effects the entire world will face?” Blue questioned, her face contorting in defense for her friend.

“Let me tell you this,” the Victorian boa began. “I am the future best-selling novelist Basilice, and I sincerely have no desire to kill you. But my mistress Sha’Rad Yuwi denied my request and forced to to sacrifice my writing skills for combative means. My writing may be on hold, but my mind is certainly not. Exalted Princess, have you ever actually considered the misery of your foes that killed them because you desired to make “everyone happy”?”

“.....You can’t make an omelette without breaking a few eggs,” Lucina replied.

“ ‘I want everyone to be happy,’ ‘let’s end all suffering in the world,’ those are lines that make me want to vomit out the Niflites I ate yesterday. Those are the shallow,one-dimensional philosophies of idiotic eukaryotes who do not face reality.” Basilice sputtered out. “The light is full of lies, lies! People willingly bask in the glory of light so they never again have to experience the truth of the darkness below! Light is harmful, harmful! And not just the fact that overdosing on UV light promotes cancer on light skin. Do any of you bipeds know anything at all about plants other than the vascular system in high-school?”

“When plants grow, they break down soil to suit their roots for sufficient nutrient intake,” Blue raised her hand in reply.

“Precisely! Around 400 million years ago, during the Devonian period, mosses and ferns were starting to grow onto rocks near the coastlines, and inevitably, these early pioneers of the new world crumbled the rock into fine soil which washed out into the sea over thousand of years, and do you know what happened? Vertebrates started choking! Fishes here and there had no idea how to cope with this influx of mud particles from the land, their gills clogged with minerals. This, combined with volcanic eruptions, consumed all the available oxygen in the water and there were massive, massive, casualties everywhere! Because fishes and run-off from terrestrial photosynthesis do not go well together! This catastrophe makes your petty carnage across Jurassic Park and Fire Emblem look like a squabble between toddlers in comparison. And you little humans use the opportunity to view more serious issues as a excuse to lounge in your chairs eating chicken nuggets.”

“So I killed him! I killed that sick son of a bitch Helios because he’s a major liar, and I’m going to teach everyone that people deserve bad endings, everyone!” Basilice took out her Dragonstone. “And if you girls are truly good character down to the nRNA sequence, you might be spared and see everyone in the world smothered in the darkness that is free of any lies! No more pain, no more sadness!”

Blue and Lucina prepared their weapons. “Let’s fight!” 

[bevioletskies]

Prompt: For their wedding anniversary, Peter was about to buy Gamora this beautiful necklace that he has been wanting to get her when, while checking to see how much units he had, he gets a holo-credit report that someone spent his 300,000 units on video games. He knew that it was Groot who stole all of his units to buy those "mind-numbing" games, so, he decides to ground the teenager.

I made a few changes to fit my headcanons (re: amount of units and the type of gift), I hope that’s alright! Takes place in some arbitrary point in time, post-Avengers 4.ao3 | word count: 2.9k

Peter whistled cheerfully to himself as he entered the cockpit of the Benatar and settled into his seat, not intending to direct the ship anywhere, but rather, to use the onboard computer in private. And no, he wasn’t doing anything particularly suspicious - he wanted to buy a gift for Gamora.

In just a little over a week, it would be one year to the day that they got married, and he was determined to win the online auction he’d had his eye on since about a month ago to celebrate. Marriage had never really been that important for either of them, with Gamora especially insisting that they didn’t need a piece of paper to validate their relationship, but a few hospital incidents later, she was changing her tune. Sure, it wasn’t the most romantic reason in the world, but it didn’t need to be. Now they could visit each other in the emergency room, declare their marital status on those awfully tedious forms the Nova Corps had them fill out whenever insurance became an issue, and…well, and call each other husband and wife. It didn’t really come up in conversation all that much.

“I got you now,” Peter whispered gleefully, tapping on the screen to bring up his hidden browser tab. The photo he’d stared at for hours on end popped up, boasting a pair of impressive silver daggers. They were expensive, that was for sure, but they were in the green right now after their last job had resulted in a very generous tip. He could afford to spend a little on more than just food and ammunition.

The clock ticked down in the sidebar, and Peter’s heart sped up a little faster in anticipation. Come on, come on…another few minutes passed before it came down to mere seconds. He refreshed frantically, silently praying he wouldn’t be outbid and -

“YES!” Peter immediately shrunk in his seat, hoping he hadn’t accidentally gotten someone else’s attention. He quickly proceeded to click through to the payment page, humming victoriously as he typed in his information. Then, a pop-up appeared - payment declined. “What? That can’t be right.” Tap tap tap. Payment declined. “Oh, what the hell…”

He made a quick jump over to his bank account page, scrolling, wondering if he’d added or removed an extra zero somewhere he shouldn’t have; he was still getting the hang of balancing the books after Gamora insisted he learn how. It was only when Peter went to the transactions list that it became very clear who the real culprit was.

“GROOT!”

______

“I am Groot,” Groot said petulantly.

“I don’t care, buddy. You spent thirty-thousand units in five days!” Peter exploded, throwing his hands up in the air. “How the hell did that happen?!”

“I am Groot.”

“Of course it was microtransactions.” Peter groaned into his hands, sinking down into the seat opposite him at the communal table. “You have no idea how much trouble you’re in, dude. You think I’m mad now, wait ‘til I tell Gamora.”

“I am Groot!” Groot pleaded, suddenly sitting up in his chair. “I am Groot…”

It was then that Gamora entered the room, in search of an afternoon snack after her workout. She paused at the sight of Peter and Groot at the table. “What’s going on?”

“Groot spent a crapload of money on video games this week,” Peter said, his voice unusually bitter.

Gamora took a hesitant step closer, eyeing Groot suspiciously. “How much?”

“My card got declined.”

Her breath hitched; she immediately rounded on Groot. “What were you thinking?” she exclaimed. “We did not let you have access to the team account so you could spend it all!”

Groot shrunk even further into himself. “I am Groot,” he mumbled.

“We trusted you to use it for emergencies only. This was not an emergency,” Gamora snapped, pounding her fist against the table. “What are we going to do with you?”

“We ground him,” Peter said, narrowing his eyes. “Take away his tablet, no screens for a month. And he has to stay in his room when we’re not on jobs, no hanging out with Rocket or Mantis. You got that, kid?”

Groot nodded slowly, looking at Gamora with big, liquid eyes. “I am Groot?”

She straightened up. “I’ve never been so disappointed in you,” she said coolly, promptly turning on her heel and disappearing into the kitchen. Groot sighed, staring down at his hands despondently while Peter snatched his tablet away.

“Thought you woulda known better,” Peter said under his breath. “You know money ain’t a toy. I was gonna buy Gamora somethin’ real nice for our anniversary, and now? I don’t even think we can afford enough fuel to get to our next mission.”

Groot got up with a heaviness in his heart, slowly trudging to his bunk and refusing to look back. He knew he wouldn’t like what he would see.______

Upon telling the others what had happened, Drax was angered, Mantis was disappointed, Nebula couldn’t bring herself to care, and Rocket stalked off with the intention to yell at Groot, only for Gamora to call him back. “Hey! I know we’re all feeling anxious about the consequences of his actions - ”

“I’m not,” Nebula drawled, kicking her feet up on the table.

“ - but I think Groot already knows what he’s done. No need to rub it in his face.” Gamora briefly glared at her sister before pulling down one of the screens. “We just need to do some emergency budgeting and put a temporary plan in place. Another few jobs, and we’ll be back on our feet. Peter?”

“You’re right,” he said, moving to stand by her side. “Alright, Guardians, huddle up. Gotta make some sacrifices this month. That means no more space candy, Mantis.”

After a healthy round of arguing, as expected, they moved onto dinner and agreed to reconvene tomorrow once they had all cooled off from their heated words. Gamora glanced over at the plate full of food, still sitting on the counter. “Someone has to take that to Groot.”

“Prob’ly should be you,” Peter said quietly, glancing around the common area. The others had settled in for the evening in their usual places - Rocket, on the floor, tinkering with half a dozen different weapons and humming along with the Zune, though he’d deny it if asked. Nebula, sat close by but not too close, flipping a knife and staring at the wall, pretending she wasn’t watching Drax and Mantis by the big projection screen, playing one of Peter’s old video games (Drax was losing quite terribly). “You know he hates disappointin’ you the most.”

With a reluctant sigh, Gamora patted Peter’s arm in agreement and picked up the plate, making her way down the narrow corridor to the back of the ship where their bunks were. She knocked on Groot’s door. “It’s Gamora. I brought you dinner.”

“I am Groot.”

“Food isn’t optional,” she retorted, rattling the doorknob. “Let me in, Groot.”

“I am Groot.”

“Then you leave me no choice.” With a swift kick, Groot’s door flew inwards, banging against the wall. Groot was sat on his bed, looking at her, aghast. “Let’s try this again. Groot, I brought you dinner.” She slammed the plate down on his bedside table.

He huffed, turning away from her with his arms folded across his chest. Gamora hesitated, wondering whether to turn and walk straight out of there. Instead, she moved to shut the door and sat across from him. “I am Groot,” he instantly protested.

“No, we’re going to talk about this. Eat.” She held the plate out to him expectantly. He stared at it for a split second before snatching it out of her hands, shoveling food into his mouth like it had been days since he’d last eaten. “Groot, I know you didn’t mean to hurt us when you spent all that money. I just wish you had thought about whether you would.”

“I am Groot,” he said despondently.

“It’s okay that you made a mistake. We’ve all made plenty of mistakes, and this was hardly a noteworthy transgression, all things considered,” she chuckled dryly. “But if you don’t learn from them, then what’s the point? Why continue to perpetuate bad behaviors and consequences instead of letting them teach you the difference between right and wrong?”

“I am Groot.” He looked at her curiously.

“No, I’m…I’m not trying to equate your spending habits with what I did when…when I was with him.” Gamora swallowed. “But…you’re young and impressionable, like I was. There’s still room for you to learn. We’ve raised you from when you were just a twig in a pot. I’d like to think we’ve done it right. And that you’ll know better next time.”

“I am Groot,” he exclaimed, moving closer so they were sitting side-by-side. He clasped his hand over hers worriedly.

“Thank you, Groot.” She turned her hand over so she could intertwine her fingers with his, albeit a little awkwardly given his hand was considerably larger (and rougher). “Tell me you’ll help us fix this.”

“I am Groot,” he promised, squeezing her hand. His eyes were wide, shining with sincerity, the kind of expression that had been so common when he was a child, and so rare now. She smiled in return, holding his gaze for a moment until she remembered something else she hadn’t asked about just yet.

“By the way, do you know what Peter was trying to buy? It must have been pretty expensive if his card got declined,” Gamora commented.

“I…am Groot.” He looked at her sheepishly.

“Oh,” she groaned, tilting her head back to stare at the ceiling like it’d personally wronged her. “If you’ll excuse me, Groot…I think I have some words for Peter, too.”______

Peter was reading in bed when the door slammed open. He jumped, nearly hitting his head on the low ceiling. “Whoa - Gamora, what’s going on - ”

“How many times do I have to tell you that you don’t have to buy my affections?” She shut the door behind her just as aggressively, rattling the entire bunk while she rustled through their tiny wardrobe for her sleepclothes. Peter could only watch confusedly as she began to get changed, wondering whether he would be in more trouble if he looked at her or didn’t look at her. “The occasional flower or thrifted trinket is appreciated, Peter, but to buy something expensive for our anniversary - ”

“Oh, Groot told you, didn’t he?” Peter sank further into the pillows, shutting his book with a snap. “Dammit. Kid can’t keep a secret to save his life.”

“Peter,” Gamora said pointedly. Now fully changed, she sat on the foot of their bed, eyes narrowed at him. “I thought you learned your lesson the first time. We’d been dating for six months, and you decided the best course of action was to take me to a fancy restaurant on Kymellia.”

“It wasn’t that expensive - ”

“There were no prices on the menu!” she exclaimed. She shifted closer to rest her hand on his knee, her dark eyes compelling him to listen. “Your intentions were honest, Peter, it’s one of my favorite things about you. But there is no need to spoil me with things. There is little I’m more confident about than knowing exactly how we feel about each other, and that’s not something I ever thought possible in my lifetime.”

Sighing, he reached out to bring her into his arms, guiding her so her back was pressed against his chest, their legs tangled and stretched out across the length of the bed. “I know, I know. But I gotta say, I thought you would really like this one. It was a pair of daggers…I know they don’t sound like much, but…they had Zehoberian jewels in ‘em.”

She sat up, turning to face him. “Really?”

“Yeah,” he chuckled, taking her chin in his hands. “I got trackers on all the auction sites for Zehoberian stuff. Figured you’d want a little bit of home every now and then.”

“Oh, Peter…” She ducked her head to allow him to kiss her forehead, his hand sliding down to cup the back of her neck. “Thank you. They sound really lovely.”

“They were. Sucks that I can’t give them to you after all.” He leaned back, shooting her a rueful smile. “So I guess…happy early anniversary, Gamora. Maybe I’ll make you Terran chocolate pie instead.”

Her eyes instantly lit up, though he suspected it was more an indication of her sweet tooth than anything else. “How about you teach me how to make it this time?”

He grinned, leaning in to kiss her. “Sounds like a plan.” She responded with a noise of contentment, deepening the kiss, before pulling him down into the sheets.______

The next few days were considerably better; though their money was tight, the Guardians were quick to forgive Groot once he properly apologized to them all. Peter even commended Groot for his humility - “but dude, don’t tell Gamora stuff I only meant to tell you, okay?” - and all was well.

Then Groot tentatively approached Peter and Gamora one morning while they were discussing the travel route for their next job, twisting his fingers anxiously together. “I am Groot?” he requested shyly.

Gamora looked up from the map. “What is it?”

“I am Groot.” He held out his tablet with a guilty smile. Peter and Gamora exchanged incredulous looks that Groot was, unfortunately, all too familiar with.

Peter took the tablet, the scowl on his face returning. “I thought we took away your devices.”

“I am Groot,” he admitted. “I…am Groot.”

Gamora leaned in curiously to navigate through Groot’s tablet as instructed, scrolling past all the random applications he had to the page where he kept all his games and…nothing. There was absolutely nothing there, other than a port of Defender that Rocket and Peter had built and coded themselves for Groot’s birthday. “What did you do, Groot?”

He rocked back and forth on his heels, trembling hands clasped behind his back. “I am Groot.”

“Check the bank account,” Gamora said urgently to Peter, who immediately swiped away from the map screen on the ship’s computer to bring up their finances. Green blinked back at them in triumph. “What…”

“You got most of it back,” Peter breathed, turning to look at Groot in awe. “All that from a couple of emails to the game developers?”

“I am Groot,” he shrugged.

Peter grinned. “Well, of course they’re huge fans of the Guardians. And thanks to them, we’re up twenty-two thousand units.” He softened. “Or should I say, thanks to you. This was real big of you, kid. Thanks.”

Groot slowly lumbered over, moving to sit across from them, only for Gamora to shuffle over so he could take the spot between her and Peter. His smile widened as he accepted, glancing between them. For a moment, he remembered what it had been like for him barely four years ago - hardly a foot tall, vulnerable and volatile all the same, curled up by their heads on their pillows, his breathing in perfect rhythm with theirs as he fell asleep. He smiled privately to himself and pulled out the next thing he’d been hiding behind his back - a small device, akin to a Terran record player, and set it on the table. “I am Groot.”

“What’s this?” Peter asked, poking it cautiously with his finger like he expected it to explode. “Is this where the other eight grand went?” Groot nodded. “Aw, hell, Groot, what now - ”

“I am Groot,” he said simply.

Gamora let out a small gasp of recognition and picked it up, bringing it closer to her face. “I had one of these as a child…how did you get this?”

“Seriously, what is it?” Peter exclaimed.

She turned to look at him, her eyes shining with excitement. “It’s a bit like those music boxes you told me about. My mother said she used to play Zehoberian folk songs on her bedside table while she was pregnant with me to soothe herself, and then set it by my crib when I wasn’t able to sleep. It’s been years since I thought about them.”

Gamora carefully cracked open its lid, revealing a thin golden ring that was approximately the size of a roll of duct tape, rotating slowly in the divet carved into the base of the box. A weak, but pleasant melody crackled through, soft and lilting. She let out a quiet sob of joy, her fingers trembling as she covered her mouth to steady herself. Peter moved around the table to wrap a comforting arm around her shoulders, leaning in to hear the song better.

After a full song had finished, trailing off with a sort of melancholic sweetness, Peter let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. “Wow, that was really somethin’. It’s gorgeous.”

“Thank you, Groot.” Gamora hastily wiped at the tears now streaking down her face. “I still can’t say I’m entirely happy about you spending so much money, but this was very sweet of you.”

“I am Groot?” he asked.

She laughed. “Yes, fine. I’m proud of you, Groot. Just don’t do it again.”

He happily curled up into her side, allowing Peter to throw his arms around both of them. Groot sighed contentedly, his face half-burrowed in Gamora’s neck, reminding him of…well, not simpler times, necessarily. Just…good memories. “I am Groot.”

Peter chuckled, squeezing his shoulder in response. “We love you too, kid.”

[crazymarvelsuperfamily]

Stole his Heart

another super fluffy iron dad fanfic! POV Rhodey, so a little different. Please leave any comments/feedback/suggestions - just really wanna get my writing a lil better :)

Tony and his adopted son had promised to turn up to a charity evening event, but as usual, Rhodey has to come and drag them out of the lab.

word count: 2057

general audiences

The AC/DC music was blasting from below. Rhodey could feel the floor shaking from the instant he arrived at the compound. He rolled his eyes; the boys were down in the lab again messing around. He guessed they completely forgot about the charity evening Tony promised they’d attend. Although this would never surprise him, he always hoped for the day when Tony would turn up to an event on time and leave that damn workshop for just a couple of hours. A few years back, he would have been worried about Tony, knowing that he was spending too long down in his lab; but now, it brought a smile to his face. He knew his friend wasn’t alone down there anymore, drinking himself to death in a hole of reckless self-pity.

 Now he had Peter with him, Tony was a changed man. He still spent days at a time down in the workshop, but instead, he spent it with Peter. Hours would pass by with the pair tinkering away at some science project, or working on equations, or even just doing math homework. Peter was the best thing that could have happened to Tony, and he came into his life at just the right time. The boy crept into the frozen heart the man had forgotten was there and thawed it completely. Rhodey might even go as far as to say Tony was getting soft. He was there for the kid whenever he needed, he picked the boy up from school, helped him with his homework, even cooked the occasional meal. The man had finally remembered how to love someone properly and had devoted his life to caring for his adopted son. More importantly, he realised how much Peter needed him in his life and started to live up to his responsibilities: he actually slept at least a couple of hours each night, he started to eat in a fairly healthy manner, and he had finally quit the destructive binge drinking. Rhodey was proud of his Tony. And he hadn’t been proud of his best friend in a long time.

  The music grew louder as he walked down the spiral staircase to the lab. How on earth can anyone sane work with this racket? He thought as noise from the speakers was literally close to defening before he remembered: Tony most definitely was not sane… and neither was the kid that runs around Queens in spandex for that matter. He punched in the code for the lab and the glass doors slid open. He almost double took when he first saw the duo in the lab with their backs to him. Both of them were wearing oily stained jeans and t-shirts. Tony was bare-foot while the kid wore ironman bed socks, each with a pencil behind their ear and Peter had a spanner in hand as a microphone. They were jamming out as they worked; Tony working his hips as he fiddled with the engine of a car, and Peter theatrically handing parts and equipment when prompted. At the back, one of the ironman suits was playing the air guitar. Oh man would the others pay to see this! Rhodey stifled a laugh as he got out his phone and videoed the pair for a few seconds.

“Hey FRIDAY, turn down the music please”

“apologies Colonel Rhodes, but I cannot hear you above the noise.”

“THEN TURN IT DOWN!!” screamed Rhodey. Suddenly the music dropped to a much more reasonable level. “thanks.” He replied to the AI, instantly more composed.

“Aww Underoos, Uncle Rhodey has come to spoil the fun.” Tony joked as he and peter turned simultaneously and pouted.

“You two have grown so similar it’s frightening.” Rhodey grinned at Peter. “I really wouldn’t plan on taking after Tony much more – if you’re not careful you might develop his ego, then your head would be too big to fit into your funky spandex outfit.”

“Dude, I’ve already said – they’re nanoparticles not spandex!” Peter pouted harder, slightly embarrassed by the comment. Rhodey shoved the kid playfully before fluffing up his soft brown curls.

“I know kid, I’m only messing. Tony, d’ya mind telling me what time it is?”

“Ugh, like 8?” Tony scratched his head. He knew he was probably meant to be ready for some party he promised to show his face at.

“Yeah, and what time did you say you’d be ready for Happy to take us all to the charity gala ball?”

“balls” Peter mumbled under his breath. He knew Tony never bothered about being punctual for events, but Peter was always a bit nervous and preferred to arrive on time. Normally, he would be the one to tell Tony to get ready, but he had been so completely absorbed into the lab work this evening, he had completely forgotten.

“Yeah kid. The ball. Well, the correct answer was 7:30. Now, you guys, shower quickly, meaning no more singing. And into your suits please. I’ve taken the liberty to lay out a tux for each of you in your rooms.

“well, aren’t you a saint.” Tony sighed, putting down the blowtorch he was holding and sauntering off to the elevator.

“FRIDAY, get Dunce over there to clean up this mess please. And Underoos, get a move on, Uncle Rhodey is worried that if we don’t get to wherever we’re meant to be by midnight we will all turn into pumpkins again.”

“Coming Tony, but when have we turned into pumpkins before?” The kid jogged to catch up with Tony, approaching the elevator. Rhodey smiled to himself, seeing how the kid looked up to Tony. He really was the boy’s hero.

  “Awwwwww! Look at you Underoos, don’t you brush up well.” About 15 minutes later Rhodey was dragging everyone to the car where Happy had been waiting impatiently for almost an hour. Tony pinched Peter’s cheeks, which were glowing bright red in embarrassment.

“Tony! Stop!” Peter laughed as his almost tamed hair was getting fluffed up again. “I just brushed that. It’s always so curly, and you messing it up all the time is not helping its cause!”

“I know kid, but I like the curls – they’re cute!”

The car journey lasted about half an hour. Rhodey passed Tony a few note cards with a hastily written speech scrawled on them. “Hey, please try and follow them for once – you really don’t need to do anything but thank the charity heads for their work and give a brief life update for the media.”

Tony nodded tucking the cards into his jacket, making a mental note to chuck them at the first bin he came across. “Yeah, yeah Rhodey, I know the deal – have been dealing with this all my life and stuff…”

“you still never follow the cards…” Rhodey shook his head, knowing he was trying to fight a battle that had been lost long ago.

“Oh, and kid, you know the deal – don’t leave the venue, no drinking, no smoking or drugs, and please leave this party as a virgin.” Tony laughed as Peter’s eyes widened and he flushed crimson.

“um… Tony, I wouldn’t… do…” Peter shifted uncomfortably.

“I know Underoos, its just funny watching you being embarrassed. I’m just messin’. Though saying that, I am dead serious – you will be in trouble if you do any of the above.”

 They eventually pulled up at a large building, where the party was obviously taking place. People in their evening attire were scattered around the outside, taking in the beauty of the gardens at dusk. Through the huge windows and open doors, Rhodey could see there were probably thousands of people gathered for the gala evening. He glanced over at the kid and felt bad for him: he wasn’t a fan of these kinds of events – he always found himself much too socially awkward and going everywhere with Tony Stark always drew a lot of unwanted attention. The evening air was muggy, and Peter looked awkward and panicked as he stepped out of the car. Tony put his hands on the boy’s shoulders from behind and steered him towards the door.

 It was only a matter of seconds before the press swarmed them, pointing microphones into their faces, bombarding them with questions. This had happened to Peter on several occasions before – some as Spiderman and some just as Peter when he was with Tony, but he still wasn’t used to it. Even Rhodey’s head was spinning wildly as he tried to compute all the voices interrogating him, he had no idea what hell the kid had to be going through. He heard the endless clicking of cameras, as all the papers and magazines tried desperately to snap a photo of the world’s most famous engineer and the boy he mysteriously adopted. Tony stepped in front of the boy, shielding him from the journalists and speeding up, trying to lead Peter inside as fast as possible. Rhodey followed behind, repeating over and over that none of the group wanted to answer questions regarding either personal or professional life and would they please be courteous and respect privacy. They reached the entrance, where the professional TV crews were covering the evening. They all forced smiles and waved briefly as they quickly disappeared into the building.

 Within five minutes of arriving at the party, Tony disappeared off into the amass of people and Rhodey guessed they wouldn’t really see him for the rest of the evening. Rhodey knew that although he had matured a lot in recent years, Tony still partied hard, and it was best to keep Peter away from a partying Tony. So, Peter spent most of the evening with Rhodey. Despite his usual rocky start, for once the kid seemed to be enjoying himself a lot more. Rhodey guess the kid felt a little more at home at an event celebrating a generous donation to a physics society – friendlier people, and lots of scientists and mathematicians. He introduced himself to the important faces of the charity and spoke briefly with Rhodey’s friends regarding some of his recent works with Tony in the lab. Without giving any key details away, he outlined how they were working to further increase the power of the arc reactor and how its purposes can be used in a wider range of things as the building cost is ever decreasing. Actually, the kid isn’t half bad at the party scene – Tony was never this good at small talk. A few journalists were dotted around the hall, but Peter generally managed to avoid them. He eventually snuck off to hang around the buffet table, planning to just eat his way through the evening. At one point, someone gave Peter a pint of cider, he had barely started to sip it before Tony swept in and removed it from his hands. Rhodey couldn’t help but laugh, seeing Tony for the first time that evening, the second Peter gets his hands on some alcohol.

“what did I say about drinking?”

“I haven’t seen you in more than two hours! How on earth do you swoop in like that the second I start to break a rule?”

“I have my secrets…” Tony slurred, evidently drunk.

“If you put FRIDAY into my watch I swear to God”

“language… you’re getting pretty fucking close… wait shit!” yup, Tony was pissed.

“Hey Tony, I really think you’re the one that should lay off the booze a little?” Peter reasoned, ever looking like a lost puppy.

“Not a chance kiddo…” Tony shook his head, then suddenly in a much soberer fashion, “You ready to go home kid? I think it’s probably about time – you’re looking a little peaky.” He cupped the boy’s cheek as Peter nodded. “M’kay, Imma get Happy to take you back to the Tower. I’ll be home before 3… or maybe 5… I dunno, at some point before your breakfast… I love you kid”

“Love you too Tony, see you in the morning.” Peter whispered as Tony pulled him into a close hug.

 Tony had never said “I love you” before to Peter, or to anyone before really, for that matter. And maybe Peter had brushed it off, recognising Tony was drunk, but Rhodey watched the two, and he knew that Tony really meant what he said. Peter had crept right in and stolen his heart.

[ericlwoods]

Not sure how to start this write up. There is some hesitancy on my part, but not for the usual reasons.

Not for fear of Leica adherent backlash. I am a casual member of the same. Very much enjoyed a brief Leica film dalliance I fully understand the Leica allure.

https://flic.kr/p/26omc7J

And I loved what the Leica M3 (KEH Blog Post here) could do.

https://flic.kr/p/YPNiHi

What happened? As much as I loved the M3 functionally it was a dead end fiscally.

Body: I would rather in body metering. But that means a film M6 (M5 also technically) which currently goes for more than a few brand new full-frame digital cameras.

Lens: Had and loved the Voigtlander 50mm f/1.5. But why not a proper Leica? They are quite expensive, especially when you go wider than f/2. Multiples of the cost of the M3 body alone used in fact.

Media: An M mount digital Leica was beyond my reach. The cost of moving to a digital M mount was a hard proposition for me personally.

Sidebar: Not saying digital M mounts are not worth the price. They are. Simply a matter of them costing more than I am willing or able to spend.

What did I do next? I already enjoyed Voigtlander lenses so I went for a less expensive Voigtlander Bessa R2 that has in body metering.

https://flic.kr/p/261676d

Perfect for my purposes for much less spend. So it looks like I dodged the Leica bullet. What happened? Put simply the Q happened.

As soon as it was released back in 2015 I knew the Q would haunt me. Some scoffed at such an expensive all in one camera. Not me. Without knowing anything more the mere fact that this was a camera with:

An AF Summilux lens included where a manual focus M version would cost more alone.

No rangefinder, but zoom and peeking aids like those I grew to appreciate on other mirrorless cameras.

Full frame. As much as I appreciate the Leica name I would not purchase a less than full frame lens Leica product.

I stopped reading further. Knew I was in trouble. A close encounter with a Q in the wild proved problematic as well. On a local photo walk accomplished photographer Edde Burgess took what is still to this day my favorite portrait of me.

Edde took this with his Leica Q that I tried not to look directly at during the walk for too long. In short, I had a medium format film camera in hand and a bag full of digital gear, while Edde was rolling with one self-contained wonder. Still, I resisted.

Then after some years went by…

A Q showed up at my local camera shop recently.

Dang it.

Took it in hand and told myself not to look at the price on the bottom. I looked. Was initially stunned by, but not really surprised by, the price. Holding its value better than I had hoped.

Went home and looked at the prices of examples online and realized the Q really holds its value. This local example was very much priced to move. If I ever was going to get one this would likely have to be it. Dang it.

Went on to finally read and watch the reviews and deep dive into the specs I had all avoided all of these years. Hope was that these would back me down. Snap me out of it. Sheesh. A rare consensus. Praise after praise. And the specs listed features I did not expect of any all in one camera, especially a Leica.

OIS

Found this particularly surprising. My one real bogey, the RX1, does not have this feature. Digital stabilization does not count. Having long become spoiled with OIS it is now a must-have feature.

Macro

So avoided early reviews and specs that I had no idea that it had a macro function. The party piece is the shifting distance markings. Amazing bit of engineering and design that actually works.

Leaf shutter.

Silent shooting with physical shutter up to 1/2000s and flash sync up to 1/500s. Will not ever likely use flash, but the silent shooting is a definite plus.

E-shutter.

Up to 1/16,000s shutter. What? This means completely silent stills in daylight with the aperture wide open without an ND filter any time I want.

WiFi/NFC.

Well implemented remote control and file transfers by all accounts. I see you Leica.

10fps… 10fps!

3 years old and bests the rightly highly regarded newbie 8 fps A7iii (No ding intended. Love that camera. Just facts.).

AF.

Fast and accurate AF on a full frame Leica. That is a ‘take my money’ sentence.

Direct manual focus.

With assists. WIth hard stops. Focus tab with an ingenious AF/MF switch built in.

Not drive by wire. With zoom and peeking. No. it is not a proper rangefinder, but it more than makes up for it with it’s well thought out and elegant implementation.

Face detect AF.

Another ‘take my money’ feature.

Touch screen with touch focus.

Greatly helps to mitigate the omission of a tilt screen for me.

AF Tracking.

Actually works.

Favorites menu.

Most recent firmware I installed added a favorites menu where you can choose what comes up first. Found the menus already to be intuitive and quick to navigate, but this is even better.

User profiles.

Quickly switch between my favorite self defined configurations (B&W/High Speed/Street/Normal) just like I have set on all of my other cameras.

Video.

Not pro grade. No mic jack. Not 4K. But AF tracking is good and more than serviceable for the few occasions I would want to capture video.

Decided a test drive was in order. Does it add up? Have been disappointed in the past when real life experience does not match the hype and/or spec sheet. Not the case here.

Lower price non Leica comparisons.

Having owned and tried many digital cameras (Sony RX1 line, Fuji X100 line, Ricoh GR line and the like) I can honestly say that this camera is greater than the sum of its parts. It is not about capability since any number of cameras can produce excellent images. But even if you took the word Summilux out of the equation this camera matched or bested every camera listed above ergonomically in my book. I spent near no time staring at the camera wondering how to change setting X or Y. Switch to MF? Move the focus wheel on the lens away from AF. Change the aperture manually? Move the dial on the lens off of A. Change the shutter speed manually? Move top plate mounted shutter dial off of A. Change the ISO? Press button on the back marked ISO and turn the wheel. Hey, what is this unmarked dial on the top do? What do you know it adjusts the exposure compensation. All this in the first few moments after having picked up the camera without ever picking up a manual or visiting Youtube. Your mileage may vary, but add the Summilux name back in on top of that (and my notes below) and it is a no brainer for me.

Higher price Leica comparisons.

Leica M acolytes look away until the next paragraph. Nothing to see here… Seems absurd to say, but at the Qs price point there is value to be had here. To achieve the equivalent Leica M specs of this lens and body combination one would need to spend many thousands more for a digital 24MP M 240 body (new or used) or Summilux lens (any focal length used or 28mm new). And I did say ‘or’ not ‘and’. Combine the two and you easily surpass what I paid for my dadmobile daily driver on up into five digits. Some would say that an M advantage is that you can change the lens. Moot point for me. Truth is that if I ever did buy a comparable M lens and body there would be no budget left ever for another lens. And no AF at that price. Tell me of a less expensive AF true Summilux full frame experience anywhere and I am all ears. Not arguing worth. Stating what I am personally willing to pay.

But both comparisons ultimately miss the point. To say the most cliched of cliched things you have to use it and evaluate the results for it to make sense. Hard to relay in words, but since we are here let me try. Imagine if you combine:

Summilux.

I.E. outstanding sharpness wide open, class leading sharpness stopped down a little, great focus fall off, great contrast, creamy bokeh, and wonderful colors. Best lens I own hands down is permafused to this camera.

Near DSLR speed swift and accurate AF acquisition.

Even in low light. How they did this with contrast detect AF only I have no idea. Some Panasonic partner magic perhaps?

10fps.

With useable AF-C tracking in a pinch. That bests all of my other quite capable interchangeable lens cameras.

Best of the best mirrorless manual focus implementation.

Utterly silent shooting.

Best of any digital I own 1/16,000s shutter speed available.

Not to be used for panning/fast moving objects or it will distort, but fantastic in relatively static brightly lit conditions. 1/2000s leaf shutter available if need be for motion.

24.2MP.

This the goldilocks MP count for me. Any less is not enough of a post crop detail safety net for my liking. Any more eats into archive RAW archival storage space quickly and noticeably impacts the speed of my post processing workflow.

Full frame.

Some of my favorite work ever was done in MFT. APS-C is just fine for most all purposes. But if available I prefer full frame.

OIS.

Mentioned above, but deserves mentioning again.

Time lapse, panorama and other scene modes.

Have not gotten around to using any of this yet. But glad it has them.

Macro.

Mentioning again, because this is not just macro writ large on a non macro lens, but actual fast AF wonderfully implemented real deal macro capabilities.

EVF.

Best EVF I have ever used. And I have used a lot of EVFs.

In body 35mm and 50mm field of view crop.

May seem silly since you can crop after the fact. Made more useful since the images are so sharp that cropping still leaves plenty of detail.

Great for sharing real time with the Leica app. Crop while you shoot instead of after the fact.

 If you shoot RAW and JPEG like I do it is the best of both worlds since RAW files are not cropped.

Monochrome JPEGs.

 There are other JPEG settings, but this is the only one that matters to me.

 Small.

No, not as small as the also full frame RX1 line, but tried it and that camera is too small for my beef mitts. Bought and sold two RX100 cameras for the same reason. For me there is such a thing as too small. A nice size with half case and hood, but remove both and I am able to get this camera into a jacket pocket. Plus more compact than a similar M set up. And far more compact than a similarly spec’d A7III and lens. I believe this may be the most compact brighter than f/2 full frame digital camera and body combination on the market currently.

Summilux, summilux, and in conclusion summilux.

But not so fast. There have to be minuses, right?

Focal length.

This was one potential demerit that concerned me. As I have pointed out ad nauseam my usual go-to prime focal length is 50mm or thereabouts. But in use, the 28mm focal length has not proved to be an issue at all. It has forced me to move in to get the shot sometimes, but this is where the small, silent, and quick nature of this camera pays dividends. So far I have thoroughly enjoyed taking shots while in the fray rather than having to back up and away. Has proven handy with environmental candid shots also. And if I do need to step back the bright aperture, ample MPs, accurate focus, and very sharp lens means that cropping is no issue. I should not have been surprised since two of my favorite all in one film cameras are 28mm.

Lack of weatherproofing.

Would have been nice. But not really an issue for me. Some of my cameras are weatherproofed technically and they all get put away at the first sign of rain regardless.

Saved the most biased, eye roll/cringe inducing, subjective assessment for last.

Fun.

Fun to use. Fun to review the results. A highly technical and very capable contraption that is simple to use for any situation that does not require a superwide or telephoto lens. I have cameras that have high keeper rates. The Q is the rare camera that has a high “wow factor” rate. And the only one I own film or digital with that “wow factor’ that does not have some usability compromise involved.

So much so that I have gone from carrying a gear bag everywhere to just carrying this camera. In fact I have already traded quite a bit of the gear the Q displaces without hesitation to partially fund this acquisition.

But lastly it has been out so long you might mention. True. But I know of no camera released since that tops this camera. Some mentioned a Leica Q 2 one day, but why? In my humble opinion there is little that would improve this camera.

So in case you were still wondering I like it. A lot.

Here are some sample shots below and here is a link to an ongoing gallery.

Happy shooting.

-ELW

The Leica Q 4 years on: An amazing camera still. @leica_camera #leicaq #leica #leicaqtype116 Not sure how to start this write up. There is some hesitancy on my part, but not for the usual reasons.

[cryptolonography]

Why a big fall can be a nice thing

Cryptocurrency has been a bit of a wild ride for a number of reasons. I came from a place where I’d never had stability in my life and was at my wits end after a dance with unemployment. I discovered cryptocurrency and upon getting some income decided to invest a proportional amount. The world of cryptocurrency wasn’t exactly too different to many of the people and places I’d already been to on the internet, but it was an interesting, fascinating beast

I never really invested in a financial sense but it was more directed towards it being something I’d taken a big interest in. I did sense that it would probably change or become bigger, but I never really had any expectations of what it would ever be. Money can be nice but I’ve seen plenty of it in my life and I’ve always known there is little to do once you have it.

After being a bit too engaged with my work I finally quit for reasons of my own wellbeing and at the time I wasn’t quite sure where to go or what to do. I knew I had a bit of money which would mean I didn’t need to work for some time. 

Initially, I had enough to live for about a year taking into account a monthly stipend. That’s the kind of metric I use when counting my money, how long can I do nothing with what I have. How long can I survive without having to answer to anyone else?

Pretty soon “one year” changed to 2, 5, 10, 15, 20 and finally 25 years. I finally had enough money to survive well into my older years with little worry.

I don’t really spend much money, I’ve never had any debt in my life, I’m not into fast cars, I’m not into many of the expensive things besides buying a better computer. I, of course, took some money out and kept it as a backup in my bank account because I needed at least something that wasn’t risky and I still continue to give away money to charitable causes and software projects that make things like Bitcoin even be possible.

Once the rise happened the phone calls started. Not people asking for money, rather people asking for help and advice. I’m very staunchly opposed to giving people financial advice or handling other people’s money and its something I have actively refused regardless of any offers of money, but despite never faltering on this the calls never stopped.

“What should I buy?” “How can I buy it?” “What’s going to happen with the price of bitcoin?” “Bitcoin dropped 5% in one day!” “Did you check the price of bitcoin today, its up so high!”

Even my gym trainer began asking me every day about the price of Bitcoin and no matter how much I told him that I didn’t really look at the price (which I don’t)

Also at this time a dramatic shift happened with cryptocurrency, many of the places I’d participated in and had stimulating discussion had seen a rapid change in the type of people that would join. It was the “money guys”. “money guys” are perhaps the most irritating of anyone because they never read, they never seek to know, they just want to drum up support for the things they’d invested in. They just want to cause arguments and throw accusations behind anything critical that might be said.

Many of the “money guys” worked to do things like post on websites or make videos in support or criticism of videos and never really work with reading further or doing things based on knowledge. There are many reports of people having access to thousands of Twitter and Reddit accounts which are used to manipulate sentiment surrounding various projects.

I cannot lie and say that money never comes into the equation. It does. People I know sometimes say that I don’t do any work, but the work involved is not only an investment of money but also an investment of time. If I back a project and read into it and support it I do it because I believe in the future of it. I also have plenty of experience with knowing what effect words can have on people and I can be patient enough for my words to have value.

It came to a head when I decided to take a position on a project. It was a project I was fascinated in, the name of nature of it isn’t really important, but the developer had effectively disappeared for some time and after spending a large amount of time trying to be productive and take things forward the project got infiltrated by the “money guys” who seemed more interested in pumping up the price and then dumping it later on.

One day I woke up and saw the picture you see below. A cryptocurrency “money guy” sitting in his hotel room, with an empty bottle of champagne on his table and a messy bed in the background. “You need to buy this project” is what he said and he couldn’t actually provide much technical reasoning. It seemed very clear to be an attempt by someone who made similar videos to make a quick buck at the expense of others.

At this point, as well as having seen recent efforts at the same thing as well as a few tales of human misery by those that had decided to take out loans and credit cards to buy more tickets to the winning meal I decided that my patience had finished.

Many of the long-term people who had been following things had either given up hope and either publicly said so or dramatically reduced putting time and effort into things because the developer had effectively gone radio silent.

I gave the developer a deadline to prove progress and he failed to meet it, turning up a day later with tales of a hacked account and a number of other things. He had proven his honesty and integrity on several occasions, the project was a really great idea but its still an immense task for anyone.

In the confusion, and after the developer resurfaced much later on after basically a year of doing nothing the price tanked hard and the “money guys” accused me of orchestrating the downfall of things, basically claiming I had caused a $15 million drop in the value of the project.

A lot of other things had happened in cryptocurrency and this is when the prices went through the roof. Those calls from before only increased. The dumb messages from people who did no actual reading only increased. And I decreased. I stopped reading, I stopped writing and I withdrew.

The 25 “years of money” I had amassed slowly crept back to 20, 15, 10, 5 and finally 2. The people who had thought they were going to win a prize and had taken out loans and credit cards had lost, and they started to die off.

And although I do empathize when people lose money, it finally feels like I can get back to being involved again. I’m much happier having 2 “years of money” rather than 25 if it means I can finally enjoy reading and writing again with 90% of the idiocy gone.

Bitcoin and almost all of the cryptocurrencies still perform the exact same function as they did before all of this. They’re just pieces of software that keep chugging along and for all the problems humans create or experience they still have the same consequence: they don’t matter.

[thistangledbrain]

Day 16!

“Work/school”

Well...EDS robbed me of my ability to work 3-4 years ago, but I can tell you about prior stuff.

I started off going to college right out of high school, but realized I was just burning through money, because I had no idea what to major in - I have *too many* interests, and most of them don’t really translate to a well paying job...not enough to warrant the expense of the education, anyway. If higher education wasn’t so expensive in this country, I would be one of those people who just sort of...collects degrees, though. I daydream of that often...but, thanks to my oldest son, I’m sort of vicariously gaining a bit of higher ed in Physics, one of my *favorite things evarrrrrrr* (but I trip so badly over the math, so idk if I’d ever get far, myself). He sends me pics of his notes, video clips, and when he’s home, we love to sit down while he walks me through all the equations and the processes (and when he explains them to me, it helps him get an even deeper grasp of it sometimes, so it’s good for both of us ☺️). Quantum physics/mechanics and theoretical physics are 🤯 to me, and I can’t get enough! Astrophysics is pretty damn cool, too. One of my favorite things ever is when we nerd out together on this stuff. I remember when he was in high school and first started being interested in it...I was so excited I could barely contain myself (I was already very much obsessed with these sciences), and watched with delight and excitement as his passion grew. I remember he brought home this like 10-15 question beginner physics quiz he took when he first started, that he handed to me. “Can you answer these?” he says, as he hands the paper to me. “Fuck YEAH I can!!!” So I excitedly went down the list - there was only one question I wasn’t sure about (and I think it had to do with thermodynamics but I don’t quite remember)...I just remember HE got so excited that I was already familiar with stuff (like particles and waves), and it was in that moment that we just...gained this incredible connection that still makes me feel all gooshy inside. Physics isn’t the only science that gets me excited, but I’ve written enough about that for now 🙃...

So. Yeah. Maybe someday I’ll win the lottery, go back to school, and probably just stay there LOL...

You guys have already heard me ramble about the Marines, so I’ll leave that part out...

So my work history is similar to my school history, I guess. Rather scattershot. Since I know my keenest interests won’t make me a ton of money (without a degree) or aren’t really necessarily *career* choices, I’ve been fairly comfortable with...idk. Trying things out that I wanted to do, because being rich and having “things” just doesn’t...well, I personally don’t understand the draw, and it has never been a real goal. I’m flying high if I can pay the bills on time LOL...I have to leave the rest of the financial planning to someone else, because I just...don’t...care enough. The things I care about in life *require* money (what doesn’t), but obtaining personal wealth just to have more of it/more “things” baffles me (you can do your “grind” to have your “fat stacks” - my interests lie well outside of material gain, and this is something we just won’t connect on. Your Birkin bag and sweet ride mean positively zero to me as far as how I look at you as a person...except for the fact that I think it’s bizarre for someone to spend tens of thousands on a purse or shoes, and I question their logic lmao). I’m not sure I’ll ever know what it feels like to just want to be rich, and damn near kill yourself to obtain that big house and nice cars and designer clothes or whatever. I like nice things too, but frankly I’d rather actually live my life? I’m not gonna be here long...it makes zero sense to me to break myself for the material gain of “things” (and people who do that, actually upset me a bit. I feel like they’re missing the point....or, it makes me sad to think that their existence is so empty that things like labels and status symbols are what they’re hyperfocused on, what matters the most to them). That being said, I DO enjoy the *immaterial* gains - respect, love, making animals and humans happy and whole, growing my mind, sharing my experiences and knowledge for the benefit of others. This probably sounds way too candy coated and cheesy to believe, but it’s easy to prove through my actions. This is *genuinely* what matters to me.

My first couple jobs were not my speed, but I did learn a lot about how companies run (from an administrative & bookkeeping standpoint), and that’s been sort of my “fall back on” career, since - but it makes me really, really unhappy to be stuck behind a desk, even if the work is fairly interesting or challenging. I’ve also been a horse stable manager, an exercise jockey for race horses (shattered pelvis ended that venture though), worked in an exotic pet store (I LOVE reptiles!!!!), and dabbled in nearly every trade in the construction industry (I am the quintessential “Jack of All Trades, Master of None”)...eventually landing in a position that I was very comfortable with - superintendent/jobsite manager for a smaller residential company. The job was always different from day to day, so I had little time to get bored. I guess that’s the big hangup - i don’t like being bored at my job. (I don’t like being bored, period, but rarely am...even though I live out in the middle of nowhere and don’t have gainful employment anymore. I have tons of interests involving animals, art, and building/creating, plus I love to read and learn. Or take walks through the woods and photograph tiny environments. Train and rehab dogs. Remote train and help people as far away as the UK. If I’m bored, I’m probably just being lazy.)

I’ve realized - and come to learn that many auties share this with me - that working alone or with a very small group of people is ideal. We all have our different strengths and interests, but jobs that keep our brains engaged and keeps us out of “general human traffic” are much preferred. I often wonder how many auties are also actually add/adhd, or if it’s just another facet in our prism. 🤷🏻‍♀️ It’s both a bane, and a boon, depending on the situation.

You’re HIGHLY likely to come across *a lot* of Auties in STEM fields...or lurking in warehouses and stockrooms, content to be left alone with their thoughts or music while they sort and pack. There are also a crapload of autistics in the creative arts - writing, music, acting, painting, and so on. You are UNLIKELY to find many auties in mundane tasks that require little thinking, long term.

One of my favorite bits from a Temple Grandin lecture was something about how over half of NASA would be gone without autistics, and back in caveman days, it wasn’t the social gabby gabbies around the campfire who were thinking up new tools and weapons - it was us antisocial weirdos off to one side whose brains *just never shut off*. 🤷🏻‍♀️ This is why I struggle to understand the people who think autism is some sort of ...horrible plight that’s descended on the human species. You’d be screwed without us, and I don’t care if that sounds arrogant, because it’s true. We might be weird and make you uncomfortable sometimes, but we do some DAMN cool shit. We just might prefer to do it in ways that don’t make sense to you. It doesn’t HAVE to make sense to you - WE don’t have to make sense to you (and we probably won’t anyway, so why do you keep trying? Try just accepting instead).

I’ve been slowly collecting links to Autie blogs, artistic works, scientific contributions, and so on. When I’m satisfied that it’s a broad cross section of who we are and what we do/contribute to society, I’ll share it...but in the meantime...

We might be more comfortable within certain parameters (like, “can I please keep the fluorescent lights off in my office”), but shoooo lawd, don’t sell us short on anything else. Just cut us loose and let us do our thang. ☺️

[xtruss]

Was Shoaib Akhtar's Talent Overshadowed By His Sagas?

World’s Fastest Bowler Shoaib Akhtar of Pakistan

Karthik Krishnaswamy

In Come to Think of it, we bring new perspectives to bear on received cricket wisdom. This week: was Shoaib Akhtar undervalued?

There's a fairly widely held strand of public opinion that would view Shoaib Akhtar as a wasted talent. It isn't just armchair fans who might think this - just look at his ESPNcricinfo profile.

"But that he will end his career an 'if only' or a 'coulda been' is the great tragedy," it says, fairly high up. "He had it all and he blew it." It ends with these lines: "So much so that what he did on the field had long ago ceased to matter and has been eclipsed by his scrapes off the field. For any sportsman, that is a damning indictment."

There are reasons to feel this way, of course, and the profile lists them succinctly: "doubts about his action, ball-tampering offences, beating up his own team-mates, courtroom battles against his board, long bans and heavier fines, serious career-threatening injuries and most damagingly, doping charges."

None of this is untrue, and that list doesn't even include the time Akhtar's board sent out a press release explaining his absence from a squad, and, rather than reach for one of a thousand bland corporate euphemisms, spelled out the exact nature and location of the skin condition that was keeping him out.

Akhtar's post-retirement public persona has done little to burnish his legacy. At the time of writing, he's in the news for claiming that he turned down a lucrative county contract with Nottinghamshire so that he could fight in the Kargil War. He... what? Yeah.

But hard as it seems, it's actually possible to disentangle all that from the thing that really matters, and properly appreciate Akhtar for the magnificent cricketer he was.

There was the pace, of course, and it was a strange and magical coincidence that he came along at the exact historical moment when bowling speeds were first being measured and displayed on live TV as a matter of course. You didn't just know he was quick; you knew he was quicker than anyone else, probably ever.

It was also Akhtar's fate that another purveyor of extreme pace, Brett Lee, came along at pretty much the same time. For the first two or three years of this millennium, the two of them pushed themselves, each other, and the limits of the human body to bowl faster and faster still.

The pace race was thrilling to witness, but in a WWE sort of way, bordering on silliness and fetishising pace for pace's sake. Watch the five balls that this video packages in ascending order of speed. Are they, as claimed, the five fastest deliveries in cricket history? Who knows. Do they make the batsmen cower in fear? Not particularly, and the quickest of them, bowled by Akhtar to Nick Knight during the 2003 World Cup, clocking 161.3kph, is nudged routinely to midwicket.

In the race to be the fastest bowler, one of these two purveyors of pace lost out Hamish Blair / © Getty Images

Pace is pace, yaar, but it's how you use it that counts. The pace race had an inevitable intertwining effect on the careers of Akhtar and Lee, but in doing so, it did one of them a considerable disservice. One was fast and hard-working and a fine first change behind Glenn McGrath and Jason Gillespie. The other was fast and scary, utterly impossible to take your eyes off, and utterly unplayable on his day.

Akhtar was the superior bowler, unarguably, but even a surface reading of their Test numbers would tell you as much. The point isn't that Akhtar was better than Lee. It's that he was an almost one-of-a-kind bowler who heightened the effect of raw pace to a degree rarely seen at the highest level of the game.

There was, of course, the effect on the spectators, achieved via that run-up, that exaggerated sideways leap and javelin-thrower wind-up, the theatrics between deliveries - occasionally during his run-up - and even that hair. But all that would have come to nothing without his effect on batsmen.

When Akhtar was fully switched on, in rhythm, and at his physical peak, the pace was almost all he needed to have that effect. Pace aimed with thrilling directness at the base of the stumps. It sounds simple, but there's a reason why only a tiny fraction of other bowlers have ever really pulled it off - or even attempted it - on a regular basis. Bowling yorkers at high pace takes a lot out of your body, and there isn't a whole lot of margin for error. Get it wrong and it's a lot of energy expended, and probably a lot of runs conceded, with little left in the tank for the rest of the day's exertions.

Akhtar's genius lay in being able to beat the very best batsmen with that direct, route-one method. I mean, come on. Rahul Dravid and Sachin Tendulkar in the space of two balls? Ricky Ponting, both Waughs and Adam Gilchrist in the space of 11?

In between, there were six wickets in 8.2 overs in Lahore, which sent New Zealand crashing to 73 all out on a pitch where Pakistan had made 643. Only once has a bigger first-innings lead been secured by a team bowling second, and that happened in a timeless Test.

Watch those wickets again: bowled, bowled, bowled, bowled, lbw, bowled; four pinpoint yorkers, the other two balls also full enough to just about fall under that classification, all of them beating the batsman for pace, with little or no reverse in play - New Zealand's innings only lasted 30.2 overs. This was the definition of taking the conditions out of the equation, and few did it as well as Akhtar.

There might even be a way to measure this.

When Akhtar took wickets, he took them quickly, as have the other four names on the table below. Vernon Philander and Dale Steyn have run through numerous teams, the latter in all conditions; Stuart Broad routinely goes on inspired bursts of wicket-taking; and Andy Caddick was a memorable blow-hot, blow-cold performer.

BOWLERS WITH BEST STRIKE RATES WHEN TAKING 4+ WICKETS IN AN INNS

It's an imperfect measure, of course, penalising bowlers who are part of better and deeper bowling attacks, but it says something that in the Tests where Akhtar burst through the opposition at the rate of a wicket every 23 balls, Pakistan's other bowlers took one every 75 balls. When other bowlers struggled, he often found a way.

At his peak the pace was often enough, but bowling that fast took a lot out of him, physically and mentally, as he revealed to Sidharth Monga in this fascinating interview five years ago. "I used to crawl to my bathroom every day of my career," he said. "I used to limp out of my bed. I can't remember a day I didn't have pain in my knees for the last 18 years."

Akhtar knew he needed other tricks apart from pace, and he certainly had them: swing, seam - look at this ball to Chris Gayle, in Sharjah of all places - the use of angles, the ability to manipulate batsmen with his lengths. Watch him bowl Matthew Hayden from around the wicket here. The late swing is a joy in itself, but what you won't see is the short balls he bowled before this ball, to push Hayden back and stop him from stepping out of his crease as he did time and again to fast bowlers.

Then there was the Akhtar slower ball. No bowler has ever delivered this variation with a bigger drop-off in speed from their stock ball, and he bowled it with no discernible change in arm action. England, fresh off an Ashes victory they still haven't stopped talking about, had no answer to it during their 2005-06 tour of Pakistan. Akhtar bowled many quicker spells through his career, but few approached this one in Lahore for the bafflement he caused. You want to watch this, but maybe not if you're Michael Vaughan, Ian Bell, or Liam Plunkett.

That Test match was Akhtar's 39th. He only played seven more, the last of them on an India tour in 2007, where he outbowled most of his colleagues on largely unhelpful pitches. The skills hadn't gone away but the body was uncooperative. He continued playing ODIs, sporadically, until the 2011 World Cup, and that was that.

Forty-six Tests. Umar Gul, the perennially crocked Umar Gul, played 47.

Even with all his injuries, Akhtar could have probably squeezed in a few more, what with all the bans and disciplinary troubles. But it's a marvel, come to think of it, that he left himself enough room to squeeze in all those spells, and leave us with all those memories.