#only if ur not a coward lmao

[mysoulismelting]

Me reading 2 different fan fictions with the same crossover but completely different character dynamics:

Reading the first one: YEAH FUCK (XYZ) GET FUCKED!!!

Reading the second: (XYZ) is baby and deserves love and redemption omg!!!

[spider-man-2o99]

makes you read vulture 2099 again makes you read vulture 2099 again makes you read vulture 2099 again makes  you read vulture 2099 again makes you read vulture 2099 again

[apolloskazoo]

ellie finding paw patrol themed bandaids around jackson & snatching them & bringing them home bc she thinks they’re funny. her seeing joel asleep on the couch and trying to stifle her cackles as she starts putting paw patrol bandaids on all of his scars (he’s a hardened apocalypse survivor, he’s got a lot). him waking up and ellie being unable to hold in her laughter, and she tells him not to take them off no matter what

joel going out on patrol a couple of hours later covered in paw patrol bandaids

“joel what—”

“don’t ask.”

[beautifel]

seems like my heart does nothing but break lately

[en-chi-la-da]

Hey Chi, What's your opinion of Kazuichi Souda (and What's your favorite 3 straight ships with him?)

ok anon im gonna give you the condensed version of my first impression of mr. souda and how it developed as i went through sdr2:

intro/chapter 1: "OH GOD I REALLY LIKE THIS DESIGN!!! UH OH 😳"

chapter 2: "ah we have our best bro character here i see. he's so silly. so cute. oh im starting to actually like him pls dont die :("

some time after chapter 3: "ok i get that he has a crush on sonia but like. he's becoming a simp about it. hope that doesn't last"

chapter 4 onwards to the end of the game basically: "???what the fuck have they done to you you annoying little shit"

and my opinion of him now? he's my scrunkly, he's a dumb little bitch baby, he's my little meow meow, a wet tissue paper boy (all said with affection) <3 his design still slaps and i lov him. feels like im doing this 👇🏼 to him in my brain:

(LMAO my favorite """straight"" ships with him??? like m/f?? i htink trying to ship him with like. mahiru or miu is pretty funny. other than that i really don't ship him with any of the girls 😅 i'd want him to have a normal FRIENDship with these girls first tbh)

[lokh]

you might think. uti guy. why didnt you choose uti pain as the worst pain youve experienced given how much you complain about it when it happens. well i chose cramps because its the most recent in memory but also because it is more inescapable

[master-of-stupidity]

Fuck it gonna put all my Tangled rants into a single thread that I'll just continue on if needed-

Oldest to newest btww (also spoilers most of these r about Eugene btw ik ik I'm a lil autistic spare me 💀)

That one part of Bruno is Orange but Eugene coded-

"Did you hear about that Father

Sent his own infant son away

And said "It's to *dangerous* for

you to stay so, I had to *save* you" "

I may be cringe but I am FREE

Yo omg ok so my brother is singin a Into the Woods song while I look at Tangled stuff n it made me remember a scene from the play where Gothel yells at the Prince "Rapunzel can think for herself!" n like- dude Cass said the same thing in Cassandra's Revenge to Eugene! Ooo girlll-

The way I would kill so many ppl if it meant getting a series about Lance n Eugene as kids like broooo imagineee-

Its crazy how like I'll be enjoying my day than suddenly I'll see a post of a mf going "Hey what if Eugene thought he was a yr younger cuz he was like a rlly scrawny kid?" Yeah ok sure n what if I hit u with a *metal pole*

My tangled ocs r so random its hilarious- like it goes from a bodyguard,a greedy businessman,a ringleader,n than that one serial killer who turns ppl into meat pies like how did we get here???? 😭🙏

I just remembered like just a few days ago my brother randomly said "vase" while playing Fortnite n my ass just said "vAHse" just to fck w/ him n like that kinda reminded me of that one scene of Eugene n Cass like damn they were sibling coded frrr lmao I miss em

Wdym there was a scrapped Eugene n Lance childhood episode??🧍And WDYM it's literally everything I ever wished for and more???????? 😃

Would love to see Eugene n Martin Kratt interact solely to see Martin be appalled n slowly lose his mind over how Eugene knows jackshit about animals 💀🙏

I think the Eugene genderbends look so weird to me because none of them kept the infamous goatee like cmon man don't be a coward give that girl some facial hair 🗣🗣

I should not be relating Heather's music to scenes from Tangled the Series yet here we r 😭

Omggg thinking about how Eugene proposing to Rapunzel in tts came from his abandonment issues n him literally not being able to see a life without Rapunzel omgg shut upppp leave me ALONEEE

Literally despise with every fiber of my being how the writers of the shitty Wreck it Ralph 2 movie had fcking RAPUNZEL of all ppl say "Do ppl assume all ur problems were solved just because a big strong man showed up?" They fcking HATEE the movie Tangled *so much* bro istggg

OMFG THE VOICE OF KING FREDRIC FROM TANGLED IS MR. FCKING KRABS WHAT?????

The way I wanna be bold n talk more about the "Over the Corona Walls" ep- esp about Staylan n Eugene n all the icky implications of that but I'm also so scared too cuz I fear ppl won't take me seriously or think I'm overanalyzing too much 😭🙏

Lowkey not over the fact Eugene was willing to trap himself back in an abusive relationship, "leaving" the one person he HAS died for n would die for again, all to save his best friend like bro don't TALK TO MEEEE

As u can tell I am totally normal n not at all ill about Eugene or this show 😁

What if I gave Eugene like- slight wedding trauma after the whole "Beyond the Corona Walls" incident??? I think it'd be kinda cool n in character ngll 🤭🤭

No but that prompt for the unaired Lance n Eugene episode STILL makes me so fcking ill bro stg can't STAND those mfss bro 😭😭

"And if I gave up on being *pretty* I wouldn't know how to be ALIVE" is SO Eugene coded idc idc idccccc

You think if I put Eugene Fitzherbert in The Amazing Digital Circus he'd be a walking dumpster fire considering he needs an identity to function n in TADC u like- quite literally don't have one??? 💀

Was listening to an audio last night n now I kinda wish we knew like- what Eugene's mom was actually *like* in a way considering I don't think her character was ever explored :((

Why is this plushie literally Eugene Fitzherbert omgg I want it nowwww

To the ppl who only see others as their pfps lowkey rlly hope y'all just see me as jester Eugene Fitzherbert cuz that'd be rlly funny n I'd love that 💀🙏 like yes I truly am just Eugene in a jester fit yappin my ass off on twitter dot com LMFAOOO (btw follow me @/theratbatjester)

[dracocheesecake]

Kai is such a tsundere in your last headcanons lmao

I was thinking about a point where he trains reader and being hursh just so they can protect themselfs BUT. What if reader is a gentle nature and moreover afraid of fights, pain, injuries and stuff?

I can imagine him being this: 🙄🤦‍♂️ ur beyond hope

But he protects them regardless (he acts annoyed but we know he cares ehehe)

Platonic Kai requester✋

Kai, when Y/N doesn't want to fight:

Seriously, I don't think he would be able to wrap his mind around that concept, outside of calling it "cowardice". In his mind, being merciless himself (I mean, he's called "Maker of Widows" and "Master of Pain") he thinks everyone else with the upper hand over others in terms of strength would immediately abuse it- why wouldn't you want to at least learn to protect yourself from that? Which of course, only makes him much more harsh on Y/N, though he does ultimately come to understand that they're just...gentle, and not necessarily a coward. The world is just too harsh and cruel for Y/N to live in- and so, that being the case, since Kai is stronger, he has to protect them from it (even if he would never put it into words, he shows it through his actions).

[jkgnggj]

Question, is saiki & toritsuka's friendship better(healthier) or hii and toritsuka's?

Just a question!!! for me it's hii's and tori's

(Is healthier spelled wrong????)(ᗒᗣᗕ)՞

I FUCKING WROTE A LONG ASS ESSAY TO THIS AND WHEN I TRIED TO POST IT TUMBLR WAS LIKE "WOOPSIE SOMETHING WENT WRONG 🤪" BITCH !!! ANYWAYS SORRY FOR SUPER LATE REPLY I HAD TO RETYPE AND RESEARCH STUFF AND REWATCH THE EPS FOR THIS LOL

Ok so basically I think they're both healthy / unhealthy in their own ways its just up to ur interpretation yk. Like ultimately it's up to everyone to decide whether it's toxic or not in their hcs and fanon aus and stuff bc note everyone's gonna have the same opinion but to me I think both friendships are very healthy in their own right.

I think at first tori's def a bit selfish and only seeks out relationship out of his own selfish desires like he seems out Saiki bc of his cool powers (though there isn't much wrong with wanting to befriend someone bc u think they're cool) but he also mentions he wishes he had those powers and then he goes on to try and make saiki use his powers for saikis benefit (aka be popular and get a girl) which again isn't like the worst thing ever like it's obvious Tori would want his only friend to help set him up with someone but the way he does it is a bit disingenuous bc he's pretending to be something or someone he's not. But regardless saiki always helps him even if he doesn't actually help lol sometimes he sabotages him tho usually Tori does that to himself LMAO. But saikis supportive of Tori even tho he insults him and shit he's just a tsundere who doesn't know how to show affection and his way of doing it is a lil violent but he doesn't actually ever harm Tori he always heals him and stuff when he actually physically does damage so Tori can't even feel it when his insides explode lmaooo. Also saikis constantly helping Tori become a better person and do the right things. And u could say it's "toxic" or one-sided cuz only Tori gets something out of their friendship but that's simply not true bc saiki gets a friend out of Tori and the first friend to know Abt his powers too, the first person out of his family to know him for who he truly is powers and all. He's also really reliable even if he's kinda incompetent or useless he is still a huge help when it counts. Tori's constantly putting saiki above his selfish desires when it really matters. They each give and take from each other which I think is necessary for a healthy relationship tbh. It's not one sided at all bc they each risk their lives for each other (cat tank arc).

As for hiitori like any relationship Tori pursues it's a lil superficial at first bc he's got unpure intentions and like selfish reasons for approaching her. He wanted to flirt with her and date her simple as that he wants to be loved lol. And he's a bit of a jerk Abt it bc altho he's nice and kind to her u could say he's probably mostly or at least partly doing it to end up dating her or so she doesn't end up hating him or losing feelings for him bc he's never really had a girl like him for more than like 0.2 seconds. He approaches Saiki to help cure her unluckiness so that he can date her without the fear of getting killed (which like sorta fair but at the same time still douchey lol). He also gives up and runs away bc he's a coward and tries to dump her into Saiki and Mikos hands bc again he's selfish and prioritizes his life over anything else but he tries to protect her (and himself, or maybe himself and by extension he protects her) when they're together like when he offers to take the dangerous chemicals to class himself instead of letting her touch them. So you could say his motives are more Abt self preservation than love but I do think he still cares about her safety and well being (even if at first it's just bc hes desperately and selfishly attached to her love for him). And he gets a lil "toxic" or like possessive when satous in the pic bc now he's got a love rival and he doesn't really like being dumped over the average dude (like fair again but it's still seen as toxic bc he calls hii-chan his girl LMAO) and so he tries to get between them right but backs off when he's literally almost killed at the stationary store haha what a coward. But then when they find out why she's so unlucky although reluctantly Tori ends up helping Saiki figure out how to cure her misfortune. And u could argue he only did it for Saiki's sake so he could praise. Him or be proud of him but I think the reason (if not most of the reason anyways) he does it is because he does genuinely care about hii-chan's safety at the end. He can't just leave a poor cute defenseless girl with that shitty guardian spirit. She's the first girl who's ever really had feelings for him for this long and like genuinely doesn't hate him or whatever so ofc he's gonna have a lil soft spot for her she's the closest thing he has to a friend in class since most of the girls hate him and call him "pervitsuka" and shit so im sure he was trying to be legit helpful and useful to if he wouldn't get recognition for it. I mean he goes full on mom mode on the guardian spirit and then nendou sr comes and goes mom mode sr on the dude too and cleans him up and then it's still not enough so Tori sacrifices (literally, he holds a fucking funeral for them) his getas burning them at the stake just so the guardian spirit can be happy and protect hii-chan like he should've been. He doesn't even complain about giving up his high heels what a brave girl he is 😔💔 oh u also made a post I think Abt how when tori was missing for a whole fucking week the only one who noticed was hii-chan and she went and told Saiki and that's the only reason he found out lol. Maybe it's because the dude sits next to her in class or bc he was her first friend at pk or her first love of something but whatever the reason it was still incredibly thoughtful of her to worry about him and his wellbeing. That's something that didn't really occur to kusuo so I guess if u really wanna pin them against each other hii-chan wins by being the more thoughtful of the two but hey Saiki felt guilty and wanted to rescue Toritsuka despite him being brainwashed and hating him at the moment that he risked his life for him just so he wouldn't get hurt by the cat tank so I think they can't really be compared since. They're different circumstances lol.

Anyways, I think that although his motives for starting any relationship and approaching anyone are usually selfish, Tori sticks around and helps them when they need it. Both saiki and suzumiya are important for Toritsuka's growth as a person / character and their relationships are both fairly healthy at least by the end. I think toritsuka loves and cares for suzumiya and saiki as much as they do for him <3

[hella1975]

top 5 dog motif songs?

pausing mid dog motif breakdown to look at this ask. eye twitching. curiosity piqued. okay yeah okkay

i'm your man by mitski. lol. lmao even. the entire song. most dog motif song of all time ever

dogbird by madds buckley. DOG AND BIRD MOTIF AT ONCE. the dabihawks anthem to the enlightened mind. i can't stand you in my bed, you're too gentle. i need you to hurt me back instead.

i'd hate me too by susannah joffe. JUST RELEASED AND IM SO INSANE ABOUT IT. i couldn't run to you so i'd bite til you shoot me dead, i am a coward but first i was a kid.

dog teeth by nicole dollanganger. i like this one bc it's from the pov of being the one loved BY the dog motif character, not from the pov of the dog motif character, and it shows how negative that behaviour can really be. he handed me a pair of pliers and he told me to pull out his teeth, because as long as he had them he'd use them to do bad things.

tongues & teeth by the crane wives. not explicitely dog motif in fact dogs aren't mentioned AT ALL, but it is to me. self-destructive behaviour, teeth, lashing out etc. intricate rituals. i've grown a mouth so sharp and cruel it's all that i can give to you, my dear, and when you come in quick to steal a kiss my teeth will only cut your lips, my dear.

i have a dog motif playlist if ur interested in more recs x

[intertexts]

oh god i just realized I forgot to send you this. behold: the worst trivia ask out of all of them:

EPISODE 22 TRIVIA:

- they spend the first. 9 whole minutes talking about the logistics of snapping someones neck irl only to learn that its not actually possible and thats just something that was make up for movies

- "this is the most guy talk we've ever had at the beginning of a rolled. i feel like we need a trigger warning for boys"

- bizly wanted them seeing tide again to feel awkward and weird! like you're going back to your parents house after not seeing them for a really long time

- talking about how dakota has so many parental figures now and grizzly goes "except for ms. g. she has my whole heart" and WITHOUT missing a beat charlie goes "no. *i* have your whole heart"

- there was apparently a group of people on twitter who made a VERY long VERY well researched document about how all the medical stuff esp involving william would work and kept tagging bizly in posts asking how things would work and hes like "man i dont know!! i write a silly superhero show im not a doctor! it all comes down to his parents built a very strange machine that was designed to view worlds unseen!" (<< quoting the dp theme song in the most EXASPERATED voice possible.)

- "WILLIAM WISP SHOULD HAVE FUCKIN WORMS IN HIM. if we were playing this realistically william would be fuckin LOCKED UP with rigor mortis and COVERED in worms and FULL OF GASSES. he should be FOUL. and FULL OF WORMS. and I DONT WANT THAT" << hes a coward for this. btw. i feel like william should be grosser

- they just keep saying more things about how william should be so grotesque. at one point charlie goes "please dont draw this. its so gross". me, looks at my 4/7 jrwi freak week canvases that are william wisp themed. um. well.

- WARM BODIES MENTION. i love that movie. charlies like "thats how i want william to work hes undead but hes like. pretty about it"

- bizly: "because we've already explored this plot thread of William Being Dead so much, i dont want him getting a heart to just automatically fix that. its not like hes just magically alive now. i havent thought of the exact consequences yet but i want there to be some drawbacks to this to keep things interesting"

charlie: "william is just thrilled right now to be feeling stuff. i dont think hes considering the possible drawbacks"

- "ive never been prouder of any of my characters than when william wisp dented drywall"

- "why didnt vyncent get a fun surgery too" "because I'm a coward"

- they were on some absolutely insane energy for this rolled they keep going on like 5-10 minute long tangents and BARELY talk about the episode other than to mention how william should be a rotting corpse. I REMEMBER NOW that this was a SIGNIFICANT factor in my being frustrated with the heart surgery thing LMAO

- THATS IT. THATS LITERALLY IT. THE ROLLED IS OVER NOW. THIS WAS NOTHING !!!!!

TERRIBLE rolled youre right!!!!! help!!! this is so funny. great rolled guys lets wrap it up. william should be wormy and u cant snap peoples necks. good job everybody. it is really funny to me that people were... expecting medical accuracy?? how do u really seriously research putting one guys heart and another guys blood inside a body that's been dead for several years. frankly i would love to see it i'm very curious.

LOWKEY I'M GLAD HE *ISN'T* A BLOATED LOCKED UP DECAYING CORPSE!!!!! PERSONALLY!!!! i fully respect ur rights and taste to think he should be rotting and worm filled and stinky but frankly i'm on charlies side w this one. hes undead and pretty about it <33

anyway. i still have many thoughts about wiwi's soul/body/wisp relationship that i will NOT start talking about now because it would get LONG. but. its always great hearing their thoughts on it. eyes emoji. but yeah i really don't want him to be just magically fixed and alive now.... we'll see!! we'll see how it goes!!!!

[taehyungfirst]

Blinks swear they don’t want Tae and claim to dislike him but every time a new k-celeb couple is revealed to be dating they insert him in it, and then get mad and call armys/kths delusional bc we want them to leave him alone, they never act like this with Kai or gd or any of her other dating rumors, so the obsession with tae is bc they are bitter he never acknowledged her ass, bc they know he’s the prize lmao. But seriously tho dispatch need to start following her and catch her with a new man bc I’m sick of their obsession, free taehyung fr. Like we all know he’s gorgeous and everything but him not playing into ur shipper delusions doesn’t make him a coward or afraid of fans, he simply never cared about ur fave, why is that such a hard concept for her fans. Like I can understand if the so-called relationship was confirmed but it was rumors being primarily fueled by her loser ass but her fans want to blame tae when he’s literally has minded his business since the day he clarified the accidental follow, bc they are embarrassed for her bc she looked desperate as hell with the one sided proofs taennie shippers use 😭

They still bring him up as if they weren’t the same people praising Jn for “her man” because he’s fine and handsome etc. They wanted Tae from day 1 and they got embarrassed -like you said- because every single proof, hint, was given out by her and never by him. He never once acknowledged her because there was nothing to acknowledge. They are embarrassed bc they were walking in Paris out in the open just to completely IGNORE not even glance at each other at a concert they both were. How do they even explain something like that? 😭

They’re obsessed with the ig follow because Tae immediately clarified it and said it was an accident but they weren’t satisfied and wanted something more, but they never bring up when an Astro member followed her? Or have you ever seen a tete girl bring up L/sa’s mother obsession with Tae? R0sé replying to ONLY Tae pfps on tiktok? Jsoo accidentally following a V/soo page? They’re jobless and desperate and they will keep living in Tae’s shadow hoping he will ever acknowledge some loser.

[banjjakz]

"oh shit someones already figured it out" hehe i saw right through ur tricks LMAO just thought that gloomy yandere shoko would b Very hot (oh pretty neurotic woman w eyebags... u have captivated me). that was my argument. that one meme that says "my pussy has led me to places i wouldnt even go with a gun" HAHAHA

and abt final girl thoughts... squeezes ur gojo in my hand.... hes so dear to me, in all of his charming asshole and eldritch horror glamour. no cuz the way he chuckles and grins while demeaning reader !! he is not driven by pure love but by deeply rooted obsession, and its only suguru whos at its core- not reader. i love how neither gojo or reader respected each other despite their interactions taking place in the "gojo route". sure it is an otome route but you get no sweet lovin at all! you get literallyreduced to shreds, dissolved into particles scattered across the universe instead! sighs dreamily. anti-otome final girl fanfiction written by banjjakz youre so dear to me........

btw the gojo dsm comment took me out LMAO kinda unrelated but i know psychologists would NOT b welcomed in the jjk world lmao. the stigma around mental health matters between non-sorcerers pales in comparison to how a mental health professional would b treated by a higher-up, for instance. supposing ur goal is to have young sorcerers manage their negative emotions so that they dont go mental and die before they turn 18 then youre unfortunately getting executed for sabotage at best... i remember reading a yuuta fic in which it was mentioned that he had seen a psychologist after the rika incident. makes me wonder if thatd mean hes learnt (within that au) lets say breathing exercises and if he practises them whenever he gets anxious. every other sorcerer watching him like: https://www.tiktok.com/@androidg1rl/video/7291743972991503649

anyways sorry 4 rambling lolll thanks 4 writing final girlll loved it smmm and will be waiting for the secret endings eagerly :> !

no truly like serial bereavement was written for yuuta fans sure whatever but the actual intended audience is the #real sick and twisted individuals with a penchant for off-putting women who lowkey look like they'd be into consensual vivisection

"anti-otome" why am i obsessed with this label LOL wow this is really high praise anon like thank you???? crying.... we are inventing new genres of fiction over here..... just another day on banjjakz.tumblr.com

as for gojo's route, yeah, to be quite honest i can't in good faith imagine him in any lifetime or in any universe with anyone other than suguru. not even in a sappy stsg otp way, but like, just going off of my own personal notes of his characterization.... to me, pairing him with someone else -- even a self-indulgent MC -- would be egregiously out-of-character LOL. this was actually a point of writer's block for me as i was drafting final girl. like, i knew i wanted to tackle satoru. but i also knew there was no way i could convincingly or ethically produce a route where you were the object of his affections. had to take the cowards way out and have him kill you, lol, but at least we get lore? (more will be revealed in the final updates... i promise...)

KJHKSJDK mental healthcare in the sorcery world is actually insane like let's focus on physical healthcare and increasing the life expectancy first maybe

also if you'd like to slide the link to this therapized!yuuta fic.... [eyes emoji]

[quietwingsinthesky]

"stop voting for gabriel gabriel is Not cool he’s a dork" tbf, my definition of "cool" has never seemed to align with what others consider "cool". my definition of "cool" usually requires some level of autism around dinosaurs and/or animals in general (GODS I love weird animal trivia and Jurassic Park did something to my brain chemistry my dad taking small child me to see it in theaters was a Mistake) which none of the archangels seem to display much of. the closest is Gabe with the little dog in his first ep.

(Jurassic Park example, actually. Alan Grant is the coolest mf in that movie and I'm p sure it's supposed to be Malcolm.) "look at how that dude dresses! how he acts! so cool!" "fascinating, but what is his favorite Star Trek series." I'm too autistic to understand whatever constitutes "cool" conventionally I guess. Hannibal is fine I like him but Will, with his dog obsession and deep desire to be Left The Fuck Alone, and then becoming unhinged over the series? very cool of him.

"this angel is a tyrant in favor of the apocalypse" deeply uncool. "this angel is a hedonistic coward that likes to victimize abusers" well, the bar is pretty low… (which isn't to say I think that deeply uncool (imo) character trait makes them a bad character in general, I just can't associate them with "cool-ness".)

oh but also? "any excuse to think about lucifer being a slut #literally let me run a train on him until he’s mindbroken. that would fix him." ur right ur so right and it's very sexy of u to say.

(godfather voice) You come into my house, on the day my daughter's to be married, and you ask me to accept not only raphael slander, but ian malcolm slander??? HANNIBAL SLANDER??????????

no, no, it's fine. i see all these guys as pretty equally weird and autistic. i mean, ian malcolm is described as a rockstar of a mathematician for a reason, this is his Thing, you know? he thinks flirting via explaining his mathematical theory is hot. i'm really not sure you could claim he's not fascinated by the dinosaurs, given that they're his vehicle to prove his theory correct, that he's the one in the book who takes note of their population growth and figures out that the park is going to get out of human control very quickly. (as far as I remember, it's been a few years since i revisited it.) sorry wait this isn't ian malcolm defense squad time. and we don't have time to get into hannibal lmao.

BUT. i will not be accepting raphael slander ever forever. incorrect. they lay out their reasoning for the apocalypse very clearly in 5x03, how they have watched every monstrous thing that has occurred in human history and only been able to come to the conclusion that god has to be dead, because otherwise he couldn't have allowed it to happen. the apocalypse is a promised escape from pain. and then, of course, castiel's resurrection in the s5 finale alongside the apocalypse being cancelled tells them only one thing: that god is alive and he just. let all that shit happen. let it happen to the world, let it happen to raphael. now, gabriel is dead, michael and lucifer are in the cage, god is still mia, and castiel. it doesn't actually matter what castiel believes because he's become the face of all of that. it's an impossible position to be in, and archangels are, as a rule, not very good at changing course. raphael is alone, and raphael has decided to self-destruct. i just wish the writers actually gave a shit about them so they could have leaned into what is one of the coolest arcs of disillusionment with god and grasping at any measure of control when the one stable thing you've based your whole life on has been yanked out from under you.

and gabriel is deeply uncool. that's the point! he's not a hero of the people, taking out evildoers in funny ways. he's a deeply petty, incredibly self-serving asshole who still carries the belief that, as an archangel, he gets to decide what's right and wrong, who lives and who dies, and how much pain he gets to cause them before they do. he's all for the apocalypse until it starts messing with his things. his eventual stand against lucifer isn't righteous, it's a dozen insults lashing out as his older brother, trying to hurt him as much as he possibly can because lucifer hurt gabriel first. and he dies because he is still too much like lucifer. he's still playing the same tricks lucifer taught him to. cause what's the apocalypse but a much larger version of gabriel's game, right? one angel who decided humanity as a whole was rotten and needed to be wiped out against another angel who has spent the past few centuries taking out his issues on whatever jerk crosses his path. like, really, the difference is that lucifer is out to get Results. gabriel likes fucking with people, but he doesn't want the status quo to change because that would mean no more people to fuck with.

first and foremost, gabriel is a dickhead whose shots sometimes hit their mark. i love him so much, he's so awful.

[the1975attheirverybest]

do u ever stfu? i feel bad for ur irl friends if u have any

that is WILDDD oh my god how can someone just. say that to people. absolutely mental how do you deal like

I mean, little bitches like that are cowards who wouldn’t dare say that to my face. They’re only doing it now cuz they can hide behind the anon feature. So like who gives a shit what they think lmao.

[foster-the-moths]

oooo dont know anything abt pacific rim but hell yeah 👀

its just "humans use big robots to fight big monsters" basically LMAO but i realized it had some parallels to tmc so. i got a bit silly lol. putting it under a readmore bc its Long

brief pacific rim summary for those unaquainted: bascially monsters start appearing from the ocean and fucking shit up so humans make these big robots to fight them BUT its really dangerous and requires 2 people who are 'drift compatible' to pilot them (basically its the ability to control a big robot with ur mind while also being in sync). thats all u really need to know for this au i think

pacific rim au: this is based purely off of my memories of the first movie (which. i watched when it first came out in uhhh 2013!!!??!?! THIS MOVIE CAME OUT IN 2013??? 10YEAR AGO A DECADE??? WHAT THE FUCKanyways. um. i'm probably missing some stuff but whatever<3 -kaijus become a thing in like. idk 1980 or so. -by the time mark and cesar are 18 the big robots exist. what are they called. JAEGERS thats it. -mark and cesar get sort of. drafted into testing it out and find out they are drift compatible!! -i think in this au they are besties but. they could be worsties. maybe. perhaps toxic if thats what canon says. but in the origin draft of the au they are besties so im going with that -anyways they fight kaijus for a bit and they are pretty good at it!! until a kaiju attacks their hometown (or something. idk how an ocean beast would get to wisconsin. WAIT lake superior AND lake michgan flank wisconsin i can use this) -okay so. a kaiju comes out of the great lakes and the government is like"???? THEY CAN DO THAT??? fuck." and send mark and cesar to deal with it since they. live there -everything goes to shit when a kaiju (altcesar) attacks mandela, their hometown, and ALSO where sarah is!!! and shes like. 5 or smth -so mark is SUPER stressed out, his sister might be dead already, and to top it off?? the kaiju can like. idk hijack their drift link or whatever idk still working on that. im trying to incorporate alternate bs into how kaijus work -anyways mark is the one the kaiju targets and it uses cesar's voice/image to fuck him up and both cesar and mark die. and sarah watches it happen. oops. -sidenote: altcesar kaiju is based off of the crab one. bc sarah is loosely based off of the main protag girl in the movie whats her name. MAKO MORI. apparently. she watches her brother die + entire county get destroyed -another sidenote: since secar apparently DOESN'T die in canon. maybe he survives in this au?? mark is dead as hell tho :(( -anyways sarah is so so traumatized by that. however she is also VERY FUCKING ANGRY because uh. turns out mark and cesar were not the only ones patrolling winconsin!! thatcher and ruth were meant to be back up but uh. they. did NOT get there in time. and sarah thinks maybe if they had gotten there in time mark wouldn't have died. -speaking of those two. ANOTHER kaiju attacks mandela not too long after altcesar does and um. thatcher and ruth DO go out to deal with it but. ruth gets knocked unconscious during the fight. and thatcher can't wake her up. so half of their jaeger is just powered down and stationary while the kaiju rips its arms off and tears into the cockpit. eventually thatcher realizes he has to evacuate to save himself. he tries to bring ruth with him but he can't. -needless to say. thatcher is DEVASTATED. he feels like a coward, even if he DID follow protocol, and he never really forgives himself for leaving ruth behind. dave supports him through it, but. he never really recovers after that.

-…and fast foward 17 years, to the actual events of the au!! -bps is founded by sarah to um. idk actually i have NO fucking clue what they are doing in this au but it IS just. VERY ILLEGAL. and they get caught -however, the government can find literally nobody to pilot the giant murder death trap robots due to A) how rare a drift link (or. whatever its called im 99% sure its called that) is and B) nobody wants to fucking do that. so they just decided to say "hey. you guys are criminals. BUT if you go in the giant death trap robot AND you can pilot it then we'll forgive your criminal charges!! :)" because of course they would do that -anyways. bps agrees to this. and it turns out jonah and adam are drift compatible!! hooray!! they get to pilot a jaeger together -…which leaves sarah. due to testing her against adam and jonah, the government knows she CAN connect to a jaeger, and pilot one. she just needs a partner. -which is were thatcher comes in. he takes the place of the guy whos brother dies in the movie. -sarah is NOT FUCKING HAPPY about this. the moment she recognizes him she freaks OUT. immediately starts chewing him out. -however, she does have a deal to uphold, and she has to at least TRY to pilot the jaeger with thatcher. so they do a testrun and. it turns out they ARE compatible. -so with that the government goes "okay cool we're sending all of you to the faciltiy (or whatever idk)" and. sarah fights this tooth and nail until she realizes they. really don't give a shit LMAO -so she's stuck with thatcher. and her two idiot coworkers but thatcher is the real issue. -so they get shipped over to the training facility and. start training. -dave and evelin take the place of those two gay scientists. dave has so many kaiju tattoos n shit and evelin is just Normal. just kidding shes weird too shes just better at hiding it lol. evelin is officially his 'assistant' and mentor but dave treats her as an equal. they are silly scientist coworkers -dave and thatcher are also still friends. not sure if its strained or not but i dont think it is they can be silly. besties even. -i also think dave is sarahs estranged but still on good terms uncle. hes is ESTATIC to see sarah!! she hates that hes friends with thatcher but she is literall incapable of being mad at dave so she just takes it out on thatcher instead LMAO -also dave sits thatcher down and is like "y'know i think this is good for you actually. being a mentor figure really helped me w moving on i think you could really bond with my cool awesome neice :D!" "dave she tries to kill me every ten seconds" -anyways the au centers around sarah and her relationship with thatcher from one-sided enemies to eventual found family :)

other things: -adam glows in the dark and is just sort of fucked up. surely this means nothing (he is not entirely human) -oh yeah jude and lynn are killed by the same alternate that kills ruth. i think. or it was six but when thatcher and ruth are sent out altthatcher double teams them and thats why they failed. -vol 2 sort of happens (the girls are fighting) but jonah does NOT die. -dave gets hooked up to a kaiju brain like the guy in the movie and like. his brain implodes a little bit and his eyes bleed but hes (mostly) fine^^ -all of the alternates are kaijus i get to be soooooo silly with designs :3 -dave and sarah lost contact when sarah started bps so they are very happy to reunite -i am just making shit up about a movie i saw a literal decade ago so. um. im probably missing a lot of important stuff but oh well lol. -i also have a barebones alt version of this au where everyone lives and nothing bad happens and they just fight monsters. bc i got sad.