#only to realise IT WAS THAT STRANGE GUY ALL THOSE YEARS AGO

[rose-finches]

[ a memory from the city of flowers ]

I've seen some discussion on what if trein met lilia in his youth, only for him to see Lilia again decades later at NRC and I find it so funny

[jadeylovesmarvelxo]

The Kissing Game

The two times you and Eddie almost kiss and the one time you do

Fluffy,minors dni, 18+, jealous Eddie, soft Eddie. Idiots in love and mutual pining.

❤️

It was one of those stormy days in Hawkins, rain battering off the windows, the wind whistling through the trees, the weather forecast said it wasn't to let up all night.

This is how you and Eddie were currently stuck inside his trailer. He point blank refused for you to drive home when the weather was so bad.

So here you are bundled up in Eddie's room as he plays his guitar. Testing out a new song for Corroded Coffin, he scribbles down lyrics and mouths along to them, makes sure they fit into the song.

Eddie had told you to get comfortable and to be honest, there was nothing you liked better than listening to him strum on the guitar. It was bliss.

"What's the new song about Ed's?" you ask him curiously and to your confusion, a deep pink coats his cheeks. He's rarely one to blush, like ever.

Was this about some girl? It's the only thing you can think of that would make him blush so badly. Jealousy gnaws inside you, no matter how hard you try and push it down.

You and Eddie had barely been hanging out less than a year, still it was surprising how close the two of you had gotten in such a short amount of time.

"Uh, it's special. It's for someone special" he mumbles and there's a burst of agony in your chest that some lucky girl was going to have Eddie, pouring his heart out to her.

"She's lucky," you murmur and his eyes widen, he scrambles to his feet and moves closer to you. Some strange tension fills the air between the two of you.

Instinctively, you move closer to him too and shiver in pleasure as his hand reaches up to caress your cheek. Fuck. Was he going to kiss you? You wait with baited breath but just as something was going to happen, the front door opens.

It's Wayne. You and Eddie jump apart as he enters Eddie's room, smiles at you both and talks about making a nice, warming casserole for dinner, as it's chilly as fuck outside.

All the while that almost kiss stays in your mind all night.

❤️

You and Eddie don't mention the almost kiss. In fact it's an unspoken agreement that said kiss didn't even happen. So if you were both being a little weird at least according to Robin and Steve, then so be it.

Eddie was acting stranger than usual though, anytime you were near Steve his eyes narrowed and turned impossibly darker. Considering the fact, that him and Steve had been getting on extremely well, bonded over their love of annoying and looking after lost sheeples, it was a surprise to you.

It was meant to be a relaxing movie night. Hosted by Steve for the kids and the rest of the gang, except you were finding it extremely hard to relax at the moment. Worried that Eddie was going to make a scene for whatever inexplicable reason.

What was wrong with him? He was perfectly fine yesterday and didn't have a problem with Steve a few days ago at Family Video.

Was it because Steve hugged you a little longer than usual today? Whispered in your ear about his latest date and made you giggle... Was it possible that Eddie was jealous...

No. No way, he doesn't like you that. You'd know if he did surely?

...

By the end of the movie night, you were extremely pissed off. Followed Eddie to his van in an attempt to get some answers from him.

"Eddie, do you want to tell me what the hell is your problem with Steve?" Eddie ignores the first question as you both head into the van, you stare at him expectantly and he avoids your questioning gaze.

"Do you like Steve or something?" He spits out after a few seconds and you gape.

"Of course I like Steve, he's a great guy" you point out and Eddie looks frustrated, runs his hand through his hair.

"No. I mean do you really like him?" Flustered you realise what he means and shake your head.

"Not like that. He's just a friend Eddie" something akin to relief passes over Eddie's face. A small smile graces his features and he looks happy, certainly happier than he did throughout the movie.

His fingers entwine through yours and you feel your heart begin to skip several beats, your hand fits in Eddie's perfectly and the way his thumb strokes over your skin is making you feel heady, you don't want it to stop.

It seems like you have the same effect on him as there is a slightly dazed look in his eyes. This time when he moves closer to you, there's no hesitation this time and your lips are mere inches apart.

However the moment is broken by Dustin, Max and Lucas. "Hey, Steve is taking everyone else home so can we get a ride from you Eddie?" Dustin asks hopefully and you and Eddie exchange frustrated glances.

"We were in the middle of something you little butthead" Eddie huffs, but starts up the van and begins the journey taking the kids home. All the while your mind is racing.

That was the second almost kiss in a week. There was no denying what was going on now, but would you ever get to kiss Eddie? Something always seemed to get in the way...

❤️

Eddie had had enough of obstacles getting in the way of you and him. Twice now, the two of you had been about to kiss and each time you were interrupted. First Wayne and then Dustin, yesterday the two of you attempted to hang out alone but were interrupted by Robin and Steve.

Honestly, Eddie was at his wits end. For weeks he has been trying to tell you how he felt about you, he was even writing a song for you and couldn't wait for you to hear it.

You almost did the other day, the day of the first almost kiss. But the song wasn't ready, he wanted it to be perfect. He wasn't exactly in his comfort zone writing a love song, he was used to the heavy metal vibes of Corroded Coffin.

For you though, he wanted to try and get this song right.

Today he was going to do it. He was going to kiss you and no interfering little buttheads, friends or otherwise was going to interrupt.

The moment Eddie sees you he almost chickens out, almost. Quickly he shakes away his nerves and walks over to you.

There's a similar determined glint in your eye and you take Eddie by complete surprise, when you kiss him first. He's speechless when you pull away which for him is a rarity.

"Wow, he murmurs and you smile happily, about fucking time huh princess?" He teases you and you shut up his gleeful words immediately with another kiss.

Now that he is kissing you, Eddie doesn't want to stop, he also plans to kiss you all the time, annoy the shit out of the sheeples and get his revenge on them for interrupting the two of you the last time.

Yes, revenge was sweet. Eddie doesn't think much about his plan after that, when you nibble on his bottom lip and all his thoughts temporally cease for the moment.

❤️❤️

💞

[lilydoeswrite]

guys should i have this as a side project apart from the merciless siren let me know lol (this is related to my only other pjo work)

The stories of the Greek gods, yeah, they’re real. 

If you’re reading this right now thinking this sentence is all one big joke, good for you, continue reading as you please. In fact, I envy you if you’re able to think this is all fiction.

If you’re reading this because you’re starting to believe that the myths you were told as a kid are real, or you’re experiencing experiences science can’t quite explain, my advice is to close this book right now.

If you ever see yourself or relate to anything in these pages and feel something weird stirring inside– stop immediately. Because, as soon as you realise you’re one of us– and chances are, you probably are, they can sense it as well. And they’ll come for you. 

You’re doing this at your own risk. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

My name is Laila Lim.

I’m twelve years old and until a few months ago, I was a boarding student at College La Victoire in Romandie, Switzerland; the french speaking part. I’m originally from Surrey, England, although my mother is Chinese and Thai.

Why am I in boarding school?

I’m not sure. 

Sometimes I think it’s because my mother found me too troublesome and chose to ship me off. But, regardless, I had a good time there. I’m good at sports, music and academics– not to brag, but you can call me an all-rounder. But at the same time I guess you could say I’m a troubled kid.

I could start at any point of time in my short life but things only really started to go south last July when I visited New York City for the first time. 

I know– it sounds exciting. Most of my trips overseas with my mother are and this would be my first time heading to the States, so I had expectations.

My mother is in her late thirties– thirty-six, to be exact. She has long black hair and brown eyes. When she was younger, she was a model, that’s how beautiful she is, although now she is a CEO of some big law firm with the biggest obsession over Greek mythology. My father? I have no idea. But I do know that he’s the reason I have blue eyes. That is really the only trait I inherited from him. 

Well, back to the trip. Everyone has heard of New York City. ‘New York or nowhere’ as some say. I was really looking forward to this trip because first, it would be my first time in the States and it’d be in New York City out of all places. Second, it’s close to where my mother had met my father.

She doesn’t talk about him a lot but I know she met him in the outskirts of New York. 

Anyways, it wasn’t until I stepped into New York that the hallucinations I’d get from time to time really worsened. And I mean it was really bad. I kept seeing strange things, strange creatures that looked scarily close to the pictures in the books my mother used to read to me. I tried my best to enjoy my trip, I really did, but the hallucinations just kept getting worse and worse. 

I still had a good time, though. My mother had to meet up with all her supermodel and celebrity friends and, must I say, the presents they give are extravagant. I’m talking designer bags and fancy jewellery. I knew they were rich but man, I didn’t expect getting things like those, although I’m not complaining. I’m guessing my mother must’ve sent my ‘super unrealistic wish list for your super duper child’ slideshow because everything I had been given was on that wish list. 

Anyway, back to New York City. 

We spent most of our time shopping and sightseeing. If you exclude my hallucinations, the trip was going absolutely fine. In fact, I was having a lot of fun. That was until we visited the Metropolitan Museum of Art to look at ancient Greek stuff; as I said, my mother is huge on ancient Greece and its mythologies.

I guessed some school was having their field trip there because there were a bunch of kids my age as well, which I have to be honest, really scared me. This one girl kept giving me judgemental looks for whatever reason, but I couldn’t care less to be honest. Why is this important? Because when one of the teachers had brought this kid in to, what I assume, scold him, she started making this weird growling noise. 

At this point of time, I was alone looking at one of the other statues as they must have not noticed me but I certainly did notice them.

‘You’ve been giving us problems, honey,” she said in her weird voice.

‘Yes, ma’am,” the boy my age says.

‘Did you really think you would get away with it?’ She says. 

‘I’ll – I’ll try harder ma’am.’

Now, this is the part where it gets weird because it felt as though thunder shook the building,

‘We are not fools, Percy Jackson. It was only a matter of time before we found you out. Confess, and you will suffer less pain.’

I know eavesdropping is wrong but, look, I couldn’t help it. First, what kind of name is Percy? Like Percy Pig? The pig mascot for Marks and Spencers? Second, confess, pain? Find out what? Look, I knew stuff in New York City would be different, but I didn’t think it’d be that different.

‘Well?’ she demands.

‘Ma’am, I don’t…’ the boy says

‘Your time is up,’ the woman hissed. Then, you’re not going to believe what happened because it’s the weirdest thing in the world. I was scared, even hiding behind the statue I was originally looking at. Her fingers stretched, turning into talons and I could tell that her eyes were glowing.

At first I thought I was seeing things, that it was all a big hallucination, but based on the reaction from the other boy, he was seeing them as well. 

Her jacket melted into these large wings and she didn’t look one bit human. She had bat wings and claws and yellow fangs.

And just when I thought things couldn’t get any weirder, well, they did.

This man in a wheelchair tossed a pen to the boy right before the monster woman thing lunged at him. Then, the next thing I see is that the pen had turned into this bronze sword.

‘Die, honey!’ she snarls, flying straight at him.

I’m as still as a statue watching what is going on. Because what is going on?

The boy swings the sword at her and then it passes through her body and a loud hissing sound was made before the woman exploded into yellow powder and seemed to vaporise on the spot, leaving nothing but the weird smell of sulphur you would only typically get in the science labs of my school as a dying screech fills the air.

Then, the boy spots me. ‘Did you see that?

‘Yeah?’ I nod, looking at him strangely as I wonder how on earth he had managed to spot me before he went back outside.

Then, my mother returns and I tell her all about it and she looks at me as if I’m saying some foreign language.

‘Whatever,’ she brushes it off. ‘I’ll book an appointment with Dr Clark when we get back, alright?’

I nod. My hallucinations must be getting worse.

[sashaisready]

I'm Still Here - Chapter One

Lee Bodecker (The Devil All The Time) x Femme Reader

In late 60s Meade, you’re married to Sheriff Bodecker, pregnant with your first child. On paper you’re the perfect couple – the respectable Sheriff and his homemaker wife. This should be one of the happiest times of your life…so why are the two of you living like ghosts? And is it too late to bridge that gap? Especially when your husband is playing a dangerous game.

Series Masterlist

Warnings: references to martial issues, pregnancy

Wordcount: 1.3k

Your hand absentmindedly stroked the gentle swell of your belly as you gazed out of the window to the pristine front yard ahead. You were lost in thought, only half aware of the soft splashes of suds and water as they swallowed your marigold gloves. This window was your little entryway to the outside, the door to the rest of the world, all so close yet so far.

You watched Mrs. Darby walk her elderly dog across the street, right on schedule. She walked him every day at the same time. Frankly, you were amazed the little guy was still alive but Snickers the dog would probably outlive all of us. He moved so slowly it was as if he was barely walking at all. Still, Mrs. Darby had all the time in the world – her housekeeper kept the home, her gardener attended to her azaleas, Mr. Darby spent his retirement fishing, tinkering with their many cars and generally keeping out of his wife’s way – so what was an hour to walk the dog halfway up the street?

She spotted you at your post, as she always did, and gave you a wave. You waved back, a strained smile and a nod of your head. Same old, same old. She then began gesturing wildly, pointing downwards and grinning. You stared back blankly, clueless, until you realised she was gesturing to the bump. You gave her a smile and a nod, exaggeratedly rubbing your belly in response. Baby! Baby, yes! That’s all the neighbourhood hens ever wanted to talk about with you, baby baby baby. ‘How are you feeling, dear?’ ‘Oh, I hope your ankles aren’t too swollen’. You’d wear your smile like warpaint and nod in the right places. They seemed relieved when you started showing. At least now they could understand something about you. This universal experience. They understood you; you were one of them, no longer the Sheriff’s strange wife they couldn’t chitchat with at potlucks, no, they spoke this language. You were bearing children like they all had, maybe you were like them after all.

But you weren’t. And you knew that. And he knew it too.

Mrs. Darby waved again as she wandered out of view, poor Snickers limping behind.

You heard him upstairs then, his feet heavy on the floor above you as he charged across the bedroom. You rolled your eyes, he never gave himself enough time, even though he’d done this shift a million times over.

The clumsy thudding moved from the bedroom, across the hallway and finally down the stairs. He breezed into the kitchen slightly breathlessly. Everything was a little more of an effort these days, the evidence of which peeked from the bulge of his midriff. He really needed new uniform, but that would mean admitting he was bigger. And he wouldn’t do that. But your sewing skills could only achieve so much.

“Morning, honey” came his low drawl and he sat down.

You turned to face him as you pulled off your gloves, mindlessly picking up the plate of eggs and the steaming mug of coffee and placing them on the table.

“Morning” you replied.

You looked at him as he smiled weakly at you and thanked you for the breakfast. You didn’t look at him properly much at the moment, but you did then. You could see a glimpse of the Lee you loved so dearly, the sparkle of his crystal blue eyes, the line of his broad shoulders, the suggestion of his strong jawline – a little more hidden these days, but that was okay. He was still that wide eyed deputy you had fallen for all those years ago.

Even if that girl would be horrified by the life you lived now.

“I’m runnin’ late” he mumbled as he shovelled the eggs into his mouth. “Gotta meet with the deputies, then we gotta drive out to McGlade’s farm to talk him down – he keeps starting trouble with Denton about property lines. Always a delicate conversation when farmers are partial to having heated discussions while holding their shotguns…”

You nodded but knew this was a lie. He always included too many details about his day when he was lying. Not that he knew you’d picked up on this little tell of his, so you just smiled along like the dutiful wife. Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.

No doubt he’d be off doing something illegal, something corrupt or unsavoury on the side that he seemed to think you didn’t know about. Like he’d forgotten who you were, and where you came from.

“Mmm. Good luck” you replied as you wiped down the sink.

“And what are your plans?” he asked as he pushed the final breakfast remnants into his mouth.

“Gotta go to the market. Pick up some stuff for dinner. And the pantry needs restocking”.

“Call Denton and ask him to send a bag boy round” Lee said gruffly. “They can deliver”.

You rolled your eyes. “I can go to the market, Lee. I’m pregnant, not dying”.

“Honey…” he said warningly.

You turned to look at him. “Lee…I’m serious”.

“And so am I…”

You sighed and he stood up, putting his plate by the sink.

“My seven months pregnant wife shouldn’t be bustin’ her ass hauling heavy cans from the market” he cautioned, raising a finger to you. That was his signal that he wasn’t playing around.

You sighed, slumping against the counter. Part of you was tempted to carrying on provoking him as an argument would be the most the two of you had interacted in weeks…but you were tired. And as fun as it would be to make him explode before 9am, you didn’t know if you had it in you.

You shot him a hint of a smirk, a glimpse of the inner you, and he raised an eyebrow, almost daring you to continue.

“Fine” you huffed as you crossed your arms. “I’ll call them”.

He nodded and reached for his hat. “Good girl” he said quietly as he affixed it to his head.

You swallowed and almost felt the heat rise to your cheeks at that. It had been a while since he used that particular moniker. Back in the day he used to-

“Well…I’ll be goin’” his voice cut through your haze.

You nodded as your hand rubbed your bump. He looked at you and reached out. For a second you thought he was going to touch your stomach. He hadn’t really done that, not since it had started looking like a baby bump, anyway. You felt your breath hitch as you froze, too scared to move in case it stopped him.

His hand reached towards you, but he suddenly clamped it into a fist, withdrawing it quickly and shoving it into his pocket. He cleared his throat, the discomfort evident on his face.

You wanted to grab his hand and place it on your belly, hold him close and tell him it was okay. You can feel the baby. You can feel me. That’s your baby too. That’s little Bodecker. You wanted to kiss him and embrace him and tell him how much you missed him. That even though you slept inches away from him every night the gulf between you felt insurmountable and endless. Ask him when exactly the two of you become roommates. Strangers. Why did the baby change everything? Yeah, he cared. He said all the right things, but it felt he was going through the motions. Doing his duty in life just as he did at work. You didn’t want to end up like Mr and Mrs Darby, cordial and pleasant but sleeping in separate single beds. You wanted to scream that even though you weren’t actually fighting, you might as well be. That you barely felt like husband and wife, and you wanted him back. You wanted your Lee back. Deputy Lee who-

But then you heard the front door, and he was gone.

You sighed, sinking into a chair.

“Just you and me, little one” you told your bump gently. “Whatever happens, it’s you and me”.

[tagthescullion]

Feelings I Once Had

Fandom(s): Percy Jackson & the Olympians

Summary: After years of not even an Iris Message, Percy catches up with Nico in one of his sporadic visits to the US. They've come a long way from who they once were, but have they really changed that much?

Based on @yonemurishiroku's post!

Rating: T

AO3 link

It was ironic, Percy thought as he saw Nico play with his cat, Moncho. He’d spent years thinking of him as his young, troubled, weird cousin. He had no right to appear out of the blue, after years of almost no contact, looking strikingly handsome in a dark blue sweater and jeans.

His face had got longer, but it suited him well, together with his straight nose, he looked like a Roman emperor. Level-headed, powerful, and just a slight trace of irony in his barely quirked lips.

He was alone. He’d brought nobody back with him. A detail Percy was surprised to have noticed, and even more surprisingly, it had given him a weird sense of satisfaction.

“It’s been a while,” he told the boy –man now, Nico was in his mid-twenties, he’d come far from the antisocial 14-year-old Percy remembered—. “Where have you been?”

Nico, who had shrugged after his first remark, smiled. “Italy. I went back to my family’s home in Veneto.”

Percy had heard about that. “Annabeth mentioned you were making it a home for demigod children across the Atlantic.”

“I already have!” He grinned then, a cheerful expression he couldn’t remember in his cousin after Westover Hall, ages ago. “The structural work was finished a couple of years back, and now I’ve seven children living there already!” His face turned serious after a second. “I’m sorry about you and Annabeth, I only found out the other day. Hazel told me.”

Percy gave him a rueful smile. “It’s okay. We loved each other, but we’ve changed a lot. She’s still fun to hang out with, anyway.”

“Yeah, I don’t doubt that.” Nico nodded. “She helped me out with some of the remodelling. She couldn’t stay long, though, she was doing that doctorate-master’s-whatever-it-is…”

“Harvard loves her,” Percy agreed. Still, he didn’t want to talk to Nico about his ex. He put a hand on his shoulder lightly, ready to let go if Nico reacted badly, but he didn’t seem to mind. “So, what brought you back to the US?”

“I was visiting,” Nico said. “It’s been a while since I saw Hazel. Her little girl’s grown so much!”

Percy studied his face while he talked. He looked proud, Percy knew he loved his niece to hell and back. He’d spoiled her rotten back while he lived in the country, and he didn’t doubt Nico had brought a suitcase full of presents for her, now that he’d returned.

He squeezed Nico’s shoulder, then let go.

Nico looked around Percy’s apartment. “Nice place you’ve got here.”

Percy gave him a half-smile. “The landlady certainly thinks so, she’s charging me rent as if this was Hudson Yards.”

Nico scoffed. “Landlords are shit.”

“ You are a landlord,” Percy reminded him.

He frowened. “No, I’m not.” Then his expression relaxed. “A bit, but I don’t really rent out my family’s properties. There are tenants –who, by the way, live there for free—, and they mind the place, that’s all.”

Percy didn’t know whether that was reliable information or not, he knew Nico was adept at twisting the truth to his benefit, but for whatever reason, him speaking about tenants in that way gave Percy an impression of what Nico could’ve looked like in the past. An earl, perhaps, or one of those rich fancy people in his mom’s shows who were called ‘my lord’, and ‘your grace’.

For an embarrassingly long moment, Percy had a very vivid daydream of calling Nico ‘my lord’ as he pushed him against a wall and kissed him hard.

He waved that thought aside.

What the hell was happening to him? Since when did he want to make out with Nico di Angelo of all people?

Nico must’ve realised Percy was staring at him strangely because he looked uncomfortable.

“Sorry,” Percy said. “You just reminded me of that guy in Downton Abbey.”

Nico rolled his eyes, but seemed relieved.

Percy made a conscious effort not to frown. It wasn’t that he usually enjoyed being observed with intension , and to be very, very honest, he was still a little bit bemused about this sudden attraction he was feeling, but Nico had had a crush on him for a while, was Percy’s interest really that unwelcome?

Percy shook that train of thought away. He was overthinking things. Nico had no idea what had crossed his mind. While he had many talents, mind reading was not one of them.

“Let’s go get something to eat,” Percy suggested. “I’m starving.”

“It’s like half past six,” Nico pointed at a clock in the wall. “You can’t be hungry already.”

“It’s dinner time,” Percy argued.

“If you insist.” Nico shrugged. “But let’s go somewhere they serve coffee, I don’t feel like having a real meal yet.”

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

In the end, they decided to go to a little sandwich place that had takeaway coffee and some pastries left from the afternoon.

They must’ve looked like strangers forced to share a table, Percy with a gigantic kebab sandwich with fries, and Nico with a monumental cup of coffee and two caramel croissants.

They chatted about what they’d missed, straying from the topic of Annabeth, which Percy was glad for.

Nico had wandered around his childhood neighbourhood, and his grandparents’ estate. He’d learned a bunch about his family, he’d got their affairs in order –made easier by Hades, who, despite being a sociopathic bastard, appeared to have kept things running smoothly on the di Angelo estate —.

He was happy, Percy thought. Not at all upset about being single, or so Percy guessed, since Nico hadn’t mentioned a boyfriend at all. He wondered whether being alone bothered him because he’d got used to having Annabeth beside him for everything, or if he really wanted a partner.

Regardless, his hope that his fantasy had been a passing fancy hadn’t been heeded by fate.

Every time Nico talked, Percy’s mind got caught in the slightly raspy undertone of his voice. When he spoke of things that made him happy, Percy felt as if the sun through the window melted the brown in his eyes into a puddle of warm joy. At one point, he’d sucked caramel off his thumb, and Percy had felt himself blush.

Blush. He was a 31-year-old man! Men didn’t blush.

Nico had caught his expression then, and had blushed himself.

“Sorry,” he’d said. “Not very elegant, I know. But this croissant is surprisingly good, considering the place.”

Percy would’ve defended Santi’s Sandwiches with his life, but the way Nico had pronounced ‘croissant’ had brought forward the kissing scene in his mind, so he’d let it drop.

The worst part was that it wasn’t just a physical pull.

Nico had turned his life around. He’d taken all that hurt and despair, and grown strong from it. Strong and kind. He wasn’t resented, or jealous about people having it easier than he had. He was fighting to make that happen! To have children be spared the atrocities he himself had faced. 

Percy asked, at some point, whether it bothered him to keep helping the gods, when they’d done, frankly, so little to deserve it.

Nico had shrugged.

“It’s not for them,” he’d explained. “It’s for their children. It’s hard being like us. They need a place to call home, where they can be understood and looked after. Away from the streets, and all that emptiness one feels when you think nobody cares.”

Percy couldn’t believe this was the same boy who’d wanted to exchange Dedalus’ soul for his sister’s. To him, Nico had turned from spiteful goblin into a Disney princess, full of hope and optimism. 

Although, thinking about it as Nico kept telling him or his wards, Percy couldn’t recall a time when Nico had been purposefully cruel. He’d lied, omitted the truth, manipulated, but he’d never had bad intentions. 

Even as a child, Nico had cared about fairness, despite having had very little of it himself. 

They were walking back to his place now, but Nico said he wanted to walk.

“Let’s go to Central Park,” he decided. “I’ve never been a tourist here, I deserve it.”

Percy would rather eat his own shit than pretend to be a tourist in his own city, but he could always pretend to be a kind stranger taking a photo for a nice Italian young man, so he accepted the detour.

“It’s so pretty when there’s not a war going on,” Nico said. “And huge. How can there be such a big park in the middle of one of the biggest cities in the world?”

“Lots of people come here to exercise,” he replied, unsure of Central Park’s history.

“Can you talk to the fish in the lagoons?”

“It’s a lake,” Percy corrected him. “I’ve never tried to talk to the fish.”

“There’s ponds at my grandparents’ place,” Nico said. “You should visit them someday, see if you can talk to those .”

He’d spoken in a good-humoured way, with the beginning of a smile that Percy couldn’t help but appreciate. But there was a trace of sheepishness in his posture too, as if he wasn’t sure of what he was suggesting.

“I’d love to go,” Percy told him honestly.

“Do you think the fish would talk in English or Venetian?”

Percy rolled his eyes. “Sea creatures don’t talk in English , or any other language, Nico. They… I don’t know, they communicate, I guess.”

“Che figo!” Nico said. “I wish I could communicate with Cerberus, he’s such a nice dog.”

Percy wasn’t all that sure. Yes, the dog had tried to play with a rubber ball, but it was also a line of defence in the Underworld, and Grover had said it had wanted to kill all three of them, back in their first quest.

There wasn’t much to say until Nico decided to take a selfie.

Percy couldn’t believe he even knew what a cellphone was, much less how to use one.

“I’m so not taking a photo in Central Park,” he said.

“Come on,” Nico insisted. “It’s just for Cleo, she wanted to come to visit Brooklyn House, but she was dealing with some people trying to rob a tomb, or something of the sort.”

“No,” Percy repeated. “It’s not dignified for locals.”

As he spoke, a couple of runners crossed their path, going the other way. They slowed down so they wouldn’t run them over.

“They could’ve seen me,” Percy said, once they’d gone out of sight. “What if they heard me speak, knew I was a New Yorker, and saw me take a picture?”

Nico pushed him lightly with his shoulder and muttered, “You’re so dramatic.”

“You wouldn’t go around taking photos if I strolled around Venice with you, would you?” Percy asked, turning to return to their path.

Nico thought for a second. “Depends.”

“On…?”

“Not in the Canałaso,” he admitted. “That would be undignified. But anywhere else? Yeah, why not? It’s a beautiful city, Venice. It’d be a waste not to take photos of its prettiest spots.”

Percy thought the real waste was not having visited Nico in Venice yet. He wondered if he’d be more relaxed there, in his childhood city. Percy guessed he would. He liked visiting other places, he’d even lived in New Rome for a memorable term and a half, but there was something so nostalgically comforting about coming back home. 

“Your grandparents’ house isn’t in Venice, though, is it?” Percy asked when the silence had gone on for a while. 

Nico shook his head. “It’s a small town North of the city. Not too far, specially for somebody used to American distances. Around half an hour by car.”

“If I were to visit you,” Percy decided. “I’d have to see that town, too.”

“Of course!” Nico grinned. “That’d be fun. There’s not much to do, if you like a social nightlife, but the children would love to meet another demigod! They’ve heard a lot about you already.”

“You told them about me?” Percy was surprised. 

Nico gave him a perplexed look, “Of course, I did.” Then he blushed. “I mean, you’re one of the most powerful demigods alive. You’ve gone through so much, and yet here you are, living your adult life: a university degree, a stable job, father to Moncho, the most unstable cat I’ve ever met. It’s motivating.”

His words were candid. The awe in his voice filled Percy with pride, as if owning New York’s most fuzzy cat was a feat on its own. But Nico looked embarrassed, so Percy thought of something to say to put him at ease.

“I was worried you had warned them about me,” he told Nico. “But it seems you’ve sold me better than I’ve ever managed to do so myself. You should write my CVs!”

It had the desired effect, Nico rolled his eyes with a rueful smirk. 

“I’m rather good at bullshitting,” he said. “I could write exquisite CVs if I needed a job.”

“I keep forgetting you’re a trustfund child,” Percy said. “Even after a whole afternoon talking about your grandfather the marquess and your inherited properties.”

Nico pushed him with his shoulder again. “Let’s go back to your place, I’m getting dinner hungry now.”

Percy laughed. “You should’ve had a real sandwich.”

“Unfortunately,” Nico replied grimly. “You might be right.”

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Percy didn’t have much to offer at his apartment.

At least, not something that counted as a real dinner, so he made Nico a couple of pre-made meat patties, and a lettuce and tomato salad.

“My compliments to the cheff,” Nico said. “For this gourmet cuisine.”

Instead of replying, Percy laid the salt and pepper shakers in front of him with a little more force than necessary.

“Bon apetit,” he told Nico. “If you want me to cook for you, you should warn me of your arrival more than three hours in advance.”

Nico shrugged. 

“My bad,” he said between bites of vegetables. “I wasn’t sure I was going to make it today. The babysitter didn’t arrive until a couple of days ago.”

Percy raised an eyebrow, sitting in front of Nico, with a plate of patties of his own.

“Oh, Will was going to get some days off,” Nico explained. “From the clinic, you know. But human resources took ages to get back to him, and he had to get the plane tickets to get there… and not everybody’s made to withstand the highs and lows of Trenitalia.”

The mention of Will Solace felt like a slap to Percy. 

Nico and Will hadn’t been together in ages. That is to say, Percy had heard some rumours about them sleeping together a couple of times shortly after they’d broken up, but nothing serious. The fact that Nico trusted his wards to Will meant they’d stayed in contact much better than Percy had.

“Highs and lows of Trenitalia?” He asked to keep the stab of jealousy at bay.

Nico waved a hand dismissively. “They’re not the best trains, I guess. But Will’s been there before, he should know that already!”

Had he? 

Percy thought of a subtle way to ask, but couldn’t come up with something quickly enough.

“Are you two a thing again?”

Nico frowned. “Jesus, no.”

“No need to sound so defensive!”

Nico sighed. “No, sorry. It took me by surprise, that’s all. Will and I haven’t been anything in years. He’s seeing an intern in the clinic he works in.”

“Right, yeah…”

“You look relieved.”

Percy blushed. “I’d hate to be the only one whose teenage relationship didn’t work.”

Nico smiled. He looked so sympathetic it made Percy guilty about lying.

“That’s fair,” Nico told him, putting a hand over his reassuringly across the table. “But if you ask me, it’s way more common to grow in separate ways than to have a happily ever after with the person you were dating at sixteen.”

Percy nodded, hoping he didn’t look too enthusiastic about Nico’s cool hand over his. He gave it a light squeeze, as if thanking him.

Luckily for Percy, the topics strayed away from exes and other lovers. Nico asked about his mom and Paul, and was glad to hear Paul had been made viceprincipal, and his mom was on her way to publish her third book.

“I read her mystery novel,” he told him cheerfully. “Absolutely incredible. I didn’t know who the murdered was until way past half the book! But when you read it again, it’s plain obvious!”

He told Percy whatever gossip he knew about their friends. About Reyna’s travels, and Piper’s art. 

When it was time for him to go, Percy felt a sudden sense of loss. 

“You could stay, you know,” he told Nico.

“That’s all right,” Nico said, patting his arm. “I’ve a hotel booked already. I’m only staying today, then Camp for a couple of days, and then back to Italy.”

Percy took a deep breath.

“I don’t want you to go.”

Nico frowned. “You’ve lived without me for years, I’m sure you’ll be fine once I’m gone.”

His tone was light, but Percy could see the puzzlement in his eyes.

“I—” How could he possibly put it in words? He hated talking about feelings. “I like guys now. Not now. Always? I mean, I’ve realised I like guys too.”

Nico gave him a funny look. “No offence, but people have known this for quite a while.”

“What?”

“That is to say,” Nico backtracked. “You once described Luke as ‘the handsomest fucker I ever had to fight’, that wasn’t very straight.”

“Yeah, no, I see…”

Nico’s face softened. “I know it’s confusing. Trust me, I know well. But it’s okay,” he put a hand on Percy’s arm. “If you need to talk, I’m an IM away. Or a WhatsApp, they’re less trouble.”

Percy put his hand over Nico’s. “Thank you. But that’s not— Urgh, that’s not what I wanted to say.”

“No, it’s fine,” Nico said. “Sorry I ruined your coming out moment, I really thought we knew this collectively. I really need to stop speaking over people when they have important information.”

“That’s okay,” Percy started, but Nico was on a roll.

“Remember when Hazel was pregnant?” He shuddered. “Gods, it was embarrassing, I mean what kind of brother says, ‘Yeah, I know, you’ve been craving rhubarb and you hate rhubarb’? If God doesn’t send me to Hell over that one…”

“Nico…”

“But at least I didn’t ruin Reyna’s moment,” Nico continued. “I had no idea asexuality had a name although—”

“I like you ,” Percy blurted. “I mean, I think? I just…”

He wasn’t particularly articulated in his speech today, but at least it had shut up Nico.

Then again, not only had he become silent, Nico’s expression had closed off, too.

“What?”

“I don’t know!” Percy said. “I didn’t know you’d become hot, when did this happen?”

Nico blushed. “Listen, Perce, I’m flattered and all, but…”

“But what?” Percy said. “But you can’t because you’ve got some secret sexy Italian waiting for you at home? Because it’d be way too weird after our past? Because—?”

“Because I don’t feel that way about you anymore.”

Right, well… that didn’t go as planned. Which was just fine because there hadn’t been a plan to begin with.

“It’s too late,” Percy said. “Is that what you’re saying?”

Nico’s face —far from looking stoic, as Percy expected, or repulsed, as he’d feared— was anguished.

“It’s been almost fifteen years,” Nico said. “I don’t— I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I don’t know how to feel as I once did.”

Percy could accept that. Had to accept that.

“It’s okay,” he said, although he felt anything but. “I’m sorry I threw that at you out of the blue.”

Nico still looked upset. “I wish I could say something different.”

“You don’t have to feel guilty,” Percy assured him, hoping he’d make a joke about Catholic guilt and leave it at that.

But Nico shrugged.

“You’re the person I admire the most,” he stated. “Always have and always will. You’re so many things to me, Percy. But… I don’t— I don’t think I can ever love you again.”

Love you again.  

There was a bitter taste to those words. 

Again.

Percy felt as if he’d been told a joke and only caught the punchline a decade and a half later. 

“It’ll be all right,” Nico told him, his eyes clear with honesty. “It hurts at first. But then… then you see there’s a whole lot to the world than just one person.”

Percy nodded. There wasn’t much else he could do. For the first time that evening he wanted to be alone. 

Nico nodded back, but avoided touching him, which Percy appreciated.

“I’m sorry,” Nico repeated in a low voice. “I really am.”

With a last scratch behind Moncho’s ears —silly cat had appeared just to witness Percy’s embarrassing confession—, Nico was gone.

[max-the-many]

Start here:

('body a day' #12: six)

#2

So I reached for the phone again. It literally was flooded with messages of all sorts of guys. But I scrolled for others. Didnt take long until a guy caught my attention, sporting a pretty chill selfie, probably at the gym.

I went for it a little lower this time, still pumping from the storm before and he seemed to vibe on the same boat. Still I invited him to come over. Again, he replied to be at my place pretty immediate.

I welcomed him rather moderate, throanging over a bathrobe when the door rang. The tingle was pretty evident, when our eyes met, but I gently pulled him into the hallway with a warm smile, stated my pleasure for him coming over.

His smile really was adorable, giving this slight hint of shiness in a quite moment standing infront of one another.

And I stepped closer, feeling his presence, lifting my hand to cup the back of his head, still just looking into his eyes, coming closer and closer until our lips met.

It was such a desirable change of pace, while soon enough my longing for this alien sensation grew stronger yet again, injoying him nothing less as we just stood in the hallway, kissing, feeling eachother, his hands not even sliding under my robe.

So gentle, so slow yet loaded with attraction, my head drivting towards that spot in my chest ever so often, more and more feeling a kind of gentle pulse towards him.

"Come in" I sounded eventually, leading him into the bedroom where we continued, slowly starting to get under covers, injoying us, injoying the simple sensation of touch, loosing all sense of time, drifting into bliss while I found into laying ontop of him, uniting in waves of motion until I realised the pulse inside my chest had gotten more and more substential, even hugging our pleasures, tongling to be released in any moment. And I swayed on and on, feeling his hands on my back his gentle, longing kisses, his purring moans, bursting in anticipation, covering each other with pure bliss in a hightening moment of shared satisfaction.

But other than that my chest remained the same.

We stayed besides for quite a while, hardly speaking a word, injoying the company, little kisses, skin on skin, bodies interlocking until he left with another long kiss.

And I was left questioning again. Was I closer ? Was it even real? The possibility of doing it myself? And again, those questions felt so unreal. Just days before I wouldn't have ever thought that something like this would be possible in the slightest.

I took the phone again. Maybe for distraction, scrolled through the pages, the message, without really paying much attention.

All those guys, porentially available at a whim. Not only for adventures like I just had but for experiences way beyond. If I only could figure out how, if even really possible.

What if I was stuck in my neighbours body? I mean it wouldn't be the worst, but the tjought of switching back and forth all just as I wished for it... just felt so right! So tempting, so exceptionally perfect. And I already changed from that dude at the beach into my neighbour! There must be a way!

But for today I was exhausted.

"Wanna hang?"

A message caught my eye. It was a lean, hazel eyes guy, a boyish smile under dark brown curls. Yeah, hang, chill, just injoying company. This was just what I needed...

#3

"Sure"

We met some blocks away from the flat. I really needed some air. He greeded me with this captivating smile even sweeter now than on his pics.

It was a midly chill evening, dark and cozy in a way while we wandered through the streets, having a chat. It was quite strange at times to catch myself forgetting, that I was inhabiting the body of my neighbour, that I was him! Or at least had his looks which effected my behavior quite a bit.

Soon we ended up in his flat again, the flat of my neighbour.

"Tee? Sure"

Chatting on I felt really drawn to him. He was so calm, so... here. His looks, his ways. We were drawn to eachother without any hesitation.

"It's really nice to have you here" I eventually stated, laying my hand on his cheeks vbefore I kissed him.

But other than that, we just got closer, leaned into eachother, eventually laying on the couch, injoying the feeling of eachother, undressing to just our underwear, feeling the warmth of our skin, eventually falling asleep under a simple blanked.

---

He was still asleep as I opened my eyes in the early morning. What a day it was. And what an encounter at the end.

I got up, heading for some tea. As I returned I just marveled for a moment on the sight of him, sleeping on the sofa just wearing those simple, cute briefs.

I sat besides him on the floor, leaning on the couch, sipping on the steaming cup, thinking of the past days. Eventually my thoughts ended up on my chest again, breathing, searching, focusing on the movements of that gorgeous body, its blood flowing, gentle twitches of those well-tended muscles, that chest going in and out deeper with every breath.

I got calm, my head got lighter, my thoughts more free than they were for a good while now. And without pressure I noticed a glow in my chest, a pulse, like a soft force, growing ever so gentle while my mind felt the presence of...

My hand lifted up to my chest without me really leading it yet it was my will that controlled it until I felt that same feeling of crossing the surface of my chest like it happened at the beach.

And there it was, that glow growing in my hand, pulled out of my chest, the chest of my neighbour, his body twisting towards that gentle soul laying behind me before everything went black...

---

It was the smell of home that I noticed first, coarse fabric against my nose, a slight chill on my naked body. I opened my eyes, seeing the dark brown of the corner I was turning to, stiring my body gently, feeling soft fabric arounf my hips.

I turned around. And there he was. My neighbour, leaning against the couch with closed eyes.

I stood up feeling a mixture of sleepyness and confusion. And it just slowly poured into my mind as I headed towards the mirror, that I found myself inhabiting the body of that sweet, hazle-eyed soul.

I just stood infront of the mirror for quite a while. It worked! It really worked! Or at least, it felt like beeing not only the force of some detatched energy, pulling me in and out without me having any control of it.

The sound of heavy moans got me out of my thoughts again. As I looked to my neighbour, he seemed to wake up and as I remembered the irritated reaction of that dude from the beach I figured, it would be best to leave before he was fully aware of things again, however it really was for him.

So I grabbed the cloth of my new host and left, not without another good glimpse of that stunning body of my neighbour, those muscles, that chisled fase and the prominent bulge in loose boxershorts.

I almost could feel the sensation of it growing as I hastily put on my new cloth in the hallway before I left. Maybe this wasn't the last visit here...

[neon-junkie]

Why can’t this be Love? - Chpt.1

Summary: You've never really fit in, despite trying, despite being on the cheerleading team, despite awkwardly socialising with the popular crowd. It's not for you - these people aren't for you. Yet, you don't know how to escape! Do you continue following a dead end? Or finally break away?

The answer is made for you after your 'date,' a boy on the basketball team, bails on you, and uninvites you from some stupid basketball after party. Whatever, that's fine. But what's not fine is the agonisingly long walk home. Oh, in the dark, late at night!

However, your saviour finds you, and not only does he save you from walking home alone, but the conflicting feelings that you've spent the last few years with.

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Female Cheerleader Reader

Reader Description: Reader is female and uses she/her pronouns. Not much detail is given about her appearance, other than she wears heavy eyeliner, and is clearly an outcast that is trying to fit in.

Word count: 1.8k

Tags: Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Slow burn, Awkward flirting, Drinking, Angst, Comfort, Generic High School Bullying, Denial of feelings, Feelings realisation.

[Chapter 2]  [Read on AO3]

Notes: oh my gooddddd. EDDIE!!! AHHHHHH!!!! hes so fucking cute!!!!!!!! this man has brought me out of my writers block that i've been suffering with for MONTHS.

I haven't written anything for ST before, so sorry if anything is out of character. I also have no fucking clue how American schools work, so I'm going to avoid mentioning it at all costs. The schooling system in the UK is waaaay different!!

This is set a good couple of months before S4 starts. Fic title is inspired by a Van Halen song hehe.

Anyway, enjoy. This is gonna be a series. IDK how long it'll be, but we'll see where this freak takes us!

Chapter 1 - Curbside Collection

Boys.

Stupid boys.

Stupid boys, or specifically, a singular boy, that has bailed on you after tonight's first-of-the-year basketball game.

Really, what did you expect?

"I want to spend tonight with the guys," your date had said. "You can get a ride home with Misty, right?" he asked, referring to your friend - your friend that hadn't even come to tonight's game, considering she isn't into the sport, let alone in with the 'popular crowd.'

Not that you are, either.

Cheerleading is something that your parents pushed on you, back in Middle school, back when they thought their "darling little girl" was somewhat ordinary. Back when you hadn't discovered rock music, Lord of the Rings, and skinny jeans.

But, oh god, you would never show those things to your parents! To them, you're their perfect high grade daughter, who's excelling in her classes, and attends cheerleading training twice a week.

If only they knew.

If only they knew that you were the 'weirdo' of the bunch, the strange girl that is always shoved into the heaviest point of the cheer pyramid, carrying everyone's weight, whilst those on top get all the praise for their "fantastic tricks!"

Regardless, despite your heavy eyeliner and brooding expression, you somehow managed to catch the attention of a boy on the basketball team. It was probably a dare, which would explain why he's bailing on you now, leaving you to walk a few miles home, alone, in the dark...

Fuck!

After zipping up your jacket, you begin your soon-to-be exhausting walk home - a walk that would have been far quicker in your 'dates' car. At least it's not cold tonight; there's a slight chill to the September air, but you'll soon warm up once you get moving, and maybe when you crack open one of the few ciders in your backpack. The ciders that were meant to be saved for tonight's after party, but it seems you're uninvited...

A bottle of cider is pulled from your backpack, and once the chilled bottle comes to rest in the palm of your hand, you suddenly realise that you don't have anything to open it with. Fuck. Can God give you a break already?!

Your mind trails back to a trick you saw a few months ago, where one of the basketball lads opened a bottle using the side of the curb. You wander another street onwards before deciding to attempt that trick, wanting to be out of view of the school, and your classmates, who thankfully live in the opposite direction to you.

One knee meets the gravelled road as you crouch down, bringing the bottle of cider into position. You let out an uneasy sigh as you remember how that guy did it; he used the heel of his hand to crack the cap against the curb, and after a few attempts, the cap popped right off. Of course, he called it "easy," but after your first few attempts, the cap is definitely not budging, and your hand is slowly starting to throb with every hit.

"For fuck’s sake," you curse as you hit it one more time, desperate for the taste of lukewarm cider, a stranger that'll keep you company on your painful walk home.

One more hit, and you let out a grumble as you give up. Your head rolls back to the sky, and whilst still in cheerleader uniform, you let out a soft, "fuck," cursing God (or whatever is up there) for not letting you have a drink on the walk home.

That's when a chuckle catches your attention, and you lock sights with the last person you'd ever expect to interact with.

"Are you trying to open it? Is that what you're trying to do?" Eddie Munson asks with a cheeky smile on his lips. He's leaning against a lamp post, mere meters away from you. His arms are crossed, with one hand fiddling with the ends of his curly hair, almost as if he's nervous, but covering it up.

Eddie is, from what you've seen, a strange guy. And you don't just mean because he likes rock music, and plays D&D. Oh, no, there's something about this man that isn't quite right. Trauma? Perhaps? Shit, maybe you two have something in common.

You've never interacted, minus a brief interaction a few days ago. Your 'date' had shot him a degrading comment after passing him in the halls, and Eddie had responded with a laugh, and a comment that had you almost in tears.

"Your jeans are always so tight, Munson. No wonder your dick's so small, it must be suffocating in there," your date had sneered. A weak comment, but whatever, you just wanted to get to your next lesson, but someone was eager for a fight. It must have been his hormones acting up, or just boys being boys.

Eddie, despite being on his own, a lone wolf without the company of his misfits, had chuckled as he chalked up his reply. "Oh, he's just fine. He's a little sore right now," Eddie replied.

Your date raised his brow, and Eddie continued his comeback. "I mean, fucking your mom is a tiring chore, but someone has to do it, right? Which is why I'm able to fit in these tight jeans."

You couldn't help but laugh. A 'your mom' joke? Classic.

Your date shot you a disgusted glance, and hey, maybe that's the reason why he ditched you tonight. Maybe it's been sitting on his mind this whole time - his beloved cheerleader had giggled at a joke that the freak Munson has cast. How sensitive!

Coming back to the present, you let out a defeated, "yeah."

Eddie chuckles once more, although you know he's not laughing at you, but rather, with you. "I'm surprised your boyfriend isn't here to thirst your quench," Eddie comments with a shrug.

"Boyfriend," you scoff under your breath. "He's never been my boyfriend, especially not now."

Eddie looks genuinely sympathetic, and bridges the space between you two with a few lanky strides. "I take it you really need that drink then, huh?"

A nod is all you need. No puppy dog eyes, no heart-warming story. Eddie takes the bottle from your grasp, and pops the cap off by using one of his chunky rings, rather than the curb. He smiles as you take a large gulp, instantly feeling a buzz throughout your body, despite it being no more than 4% alcohol.

Placing the bottle down on the curb, you swing your backpack over your shoulder once more, and say, "here," as you pull out another cider, and offer it to Eddie.

"Are you sure?" Eddie questions, only to be taken back as you shove the cider into his hands.

He pops the cap off his own cider, and grins before taking a gulp. "Here," Eddie repeats as he offers you his hand, pulling you up from your awkward gremlin pose, now with an open bottle of cider in your hand. Your backpack is slung over your shoulders, and a small gust of wind follows the movement, dancing along the hemline of your skirt - a minor movement, but you're certain Eddie's eyes trailed down there before meeting yours.

"So..." Eddie groans. "Do I dare ask where your 'not boyfriend' is?"

"Probably at the after party. I dunno," you shrug.

Eddie's thumb reassuringly rubs over the back of your knuckles, and only then do both of you realise that your hand is still in his. You both break away, begrudgingly, but hey, maybe it's for the best? The freak holding hands with the weirdo cheerleader is a rumour that'd spread like hot fire around the school, and you don't fancy dealing with the backlash.

"Woah, hang on," Eddie nervously laughs as he raises his spare hand. "You mean, you've been uninvited to the after party? Or are you refusing to attend?"

"Your first assumption was right," you shrug, and take a swig from your drink. "Well, I think I was?"

Eddie remains quiet, but raises both brows with a gesture that silently reads, 'go on.'

After grumbling, you begin explaining. "I don't know what happened. Tonight was normal, or as normal as it can be. I was cheering, and he was playing basketball, but as soon as the game was over, he approached me, and said that he wanted to spend tonight with his friends..."

Eddie nods softly, listening to you ramble, using him like a therapist, still standing on your lonesome on the side of the road.

"...His friends were in the background, and they were... laughing. I just accepted it and left. When I went to change out of my uniform, the other girls were also laughing, so I didn't bother changing. I just grabbed my bag and left."

Your eyes focus on the floor as you let out a sigh, your shoulders slumping as disappointment takes over, and there's faint tears brewing in the corner of your eyes. Despite not being able to see Eddie's expression, you can feel sympathy radiating from him, and in a wild daydream, you'd throw yourself into his arms in hopes of finding comfort.

Little do you know, Eddie would happily comfort you.

"So..." Eddie heavily exhales, bringing your attention back to him. "Let me walk you home, then."

Your expression softens, no longer casting an imaginary scowl at your ex-not-boyfriend. Eddie Munson, the freak, has not only helped you open your cider, and listened to your therapy worthy rant, but also wants to walk you home?!

Obviously, you're going to accept his kind gesture. Being a woman has waaaaay too many flaws, and walking home alone is one of the main ones. Having Eddie there almost eliminates that target, even if Eddie is lanky, and only fights using the roll of a dice.

However, what is going to come of this if someone sees you two? A cheerleader and a freak, walking home together, joint ciders in hand. Fuck, both of you are going to get it in the neck, and probably from the same bunch of people. Social circles aren't meant to cross, especially opposite ones, but you've never really fit into the 'popular' squad.

"You're more than welcome to say 'no,'" Eddie sheepishly comments, his eyes trailing from yours to focus on his cider instead.

Shit. You moron! You haven't even responded!

"No. I mean, yes! I'd love for you to walk me home, but do you live this way? I don't want you going out of your way to-"

"-Yeah," Eddie cuts you off. "Sure, I live this way," he shrugs.

Ugh, he's lying!! However, you don't fancy rejecting his offer - not only is it a bonus to walk home with someone, but he's also so... interesting. Entreating. Perhaps even... cute? With that curly, untamed hair, and his lanky frame that reminds you of a baby deer attempting to walk for the first time.

"Come on, Princess," Eddie says with a light laugh as he takes a few strides forwards, practically bouncing on his heels with excitement. "Let's get you home!"

Taglist: @bubblegumcat229​, @buckys2thicc​

If you would like to join the taglist, then please drop me a message!!

[thenervousmedic]

Here's another quick Cyberpunk oneshot

Back on my bullshit.

Only just under 1k words, just a lil snippet.

'Just existing'

(In which my V (Hoodie/Hound) and Johnny chill out on the couch during a rainstorm.)

fluffy and comfortable with just the barest hint of angst.

==========================

The lack of words is probably the best part. No conversation, no act to keep up, just... existing.

Johnny was sat lazily slouched back on the couch, one foot up on the coffee table, guitar in hand, and no thoughts in his head. Just the subtle roaring of the rainstorm outside beating on the window and the mindless notes coming out of the instrument; a slightly slower tempo of Black Dog. He knows that’s their favourite, he knows a lot of Hoodie’s favourite things thanks to what ended up being nearly an entire year stuck in the kid's brain. Well, he says Kid… but he’s not even sure how old the guy is. Imagine that. Knowing your roommate's innermost thoughts but not how old they even are.

It was easy to forget Hoodie was even there despite their continued neural link, he hadn't heard a peep out of them for the past hour. No moving, no nothing . They lay draped over the other end of the couch with their chin on their folded arm while the other dangled off the cushion. It was... nice. So nice . Maybe the best both of them had felt in years. The vibes were perfect like the world didn't even exist outside his apartment. Only the scruffy couch fabric, the slight smell of Johnny’s cigarette smoke and Hoodie’s scattered mounds of old clothes, what little of the light from distant neon signs manages to reach through the rain leaving the room in a dim orange and blue glow.

The rockerboy had only got his body back a month ago, and already it sang every tune he played with it. No more delays between Hoodie’s senses and the relic processing it. He didn’t miss that in the slightest, though in a strange kind of way, there was something oddly empty about not hearing Hoodie’s rather satirical inner commentary for him to match wits with. He hadn’t realised that his hands had stopped moving until a small almost inaudible honk of acknowledgement hums out of his former host’s nose as they pick up on the sudden pause in sound. Cracking an eye lazily open to spy on him and see if he's good before closing it again. "Y'allright?" His voice had that 'I'm barely awake and not putting effort into staying that way' raspiness to it, as if saying one word was a lot of effort that Hoodie didn't care to expend.

For a little while there was no response, only Johnny’s long relaxed inhale that ended in a grunt-like sigh as he let his head flop onto the backboard of the sofa, the guitar sliding down to lay flat on his lap as chrome fingers idly tapped at the wood. "...Yeah.”

That nervous energy that seemed to plague his body, no, his mind, wanted to crawl its way back up his spine. Digging claws into skin and hooking an uncomfortable sensation through his gut like a jealous lover trying to keep his Attention. But it couldn't. And for some dumbfuck reason that felt… wrong in its own way. He'd been that way for so long, that being without it felt almost dissociative. Derealising. As if he'd wake up any minute back in Hoodie's head again as an engram and have the weight of knowing he's draining their life away on his shoulders.

There wasn't another word. The 'yeah' had been true, he was alright. That's… what made him uncomfortable. He was fine. Hoodie was fine. This room was fine, fuck there wasn't even any traffic.

A warmth on his lap dragged his attention forcefully back to the present, grounding him like a tether line, rolling his head a little on the cushion to glance down. He hadn't heard them moving, probably because he'd spaced out so hard, but Hoodie had turned around and was now partially obscured from view by the guitar. His head and one arm slack on the rocker's legs like some kind of mutt.

All that time, all those shared words and memories, and yet even now Johnny couldn't figure out how this gonk of a man knew when someone needed something like that. Something as simple as that, a nearly meaningless gesture, some kind of confirmation that he was really here… god it would break him if he didn't have a million snide comments he could make at this very moment.

"I'm not petting you." He grumbles, his cybernetic hand making its way back to the neck of the guitar as he picks back up where he'd drifted off. Only barely overshadowing the soft and effortless chuckle that made Hoodie's chest jostle a little on the couch cushion. The gentle drumming of rainfall on their window, pitter-patter, consistent white noise.

"Mhm, you're welcome."

[deedeekpop]

© deedeekpop - all rights reserved. I don’t allow translation or reposting of my content on any platforms without my consent  

Summary After being stranded in the middle of nowhere, famous rapper Yangyang’s only hope is the one person who hates him more than anyone.

Word Count 5k

Genres Fluff, crack, angst, enemies to lovers

Pairing(s) recluse!reader x rapper!Yangyang   (gn reader)

Warnings swearing, allusions to sex, Yangyang is an entitled asshole

A/N Trying to be more active. Pretty happy with this. Let me know what you think :)

Masterlist  

It’s always strange how the most opposite of people end up in the most similar of situations. You and Yangyang couldn’t be more different as people, yet the world seemed to force the two of you together. Almost like fate itself wanted to see how the story would unfold.

At the time, Yangyang was doing incredibly well for himself. In the past two years he had fought from the shadows, only to emerge as one of the most successful rappers of his generation. In those years he released two exceptionally successful albums, in which all singles had reached number one on the billboard top 100. He had just come off a rambunctious world tour in which he had partied in places regular people could only dream about, so to put it bluntly, it had all gone to his head a little.

What used to be a hard-working humble guy, indebted to those who had supported him when he could barely pay his rent, was now a boastful asshole who liked to belittle other people for fun. He spent most of his free time buying flashy items to show off on social media and wooing a large spread of people.

In fact, that was currently where he was going. A couple of nights ago, Yangyang had met a pretty irresistible woman and had a wonderful night of fun with her. That morning she left with his number, and had invited him over to hers for a repeat of that night. The only problem was, she lived on the other side of the country, in a town without an airport.

So, doing what any sane man would do, he got into one of his several flashy sports cars and began driving to her house. He passed through the bustling city of Seoul, with its skyscrapers and lights, to an ambling and deserted countryside. For what seemed like miles, there was only grass, and then it turned to forest. It was a good thing that he wasn’t stopping here because he would definitely get lost.

Except that was exactly what was about to happen. Averting his gaze from the view to the inside of his car, he realised that he was low on diesel. He could only hope to power through, and somehow reach a petrol station, but if not he would definitely need to call someone. Then again, could he really give them directions when he had no idea where he actually was?

He carried on driving until the car slowed till it stopped, sputtering in disbelief. He swore he had filled up the tank this morning, but then again he couldn’t be so sure, he had been in a hurry. He pulled out his phone, no signal. Opening the door, and locking it behind him, he began waving it around in the air, hoping for anything, but was only left with the cold breeze wrapping around his ankles.

With no other way, he began walking down the road, with any luck he could hitchhike a ride to the nearest city, but if that wasn’t an option, he needed to find some other signs of life. It took him two hours of walking to get to the small cottage where you resided, and he wasn’t about to get a warm welcome.

Your life had always been a stark contrast to the rappers, whilst he thrived in the attention of others, you struggled. It wasn’t that you didn’t like people (well not some people), you would just rather spend your time alone. It was much more productive that way, and you did meet up with your friends and family a couple of times a month. In reality, you had become somewhat of a recluse.

That was why it was such a surprise when a knock sounded at your door, after all, living in the middle of nowhere was built for you to get no disturbances. Sure, every so often you had some lost foreigners, or maybe someone in need of directions, but that was often few and far between. Also, they usually weren’t this persistent, the banging on the door was almost desperate.

You let out a huff, before storming to the door and ripping it open, leaving the man puzzled mid-knock.

“Can I help you?” You weren’t being helpful, there was pure frustration dripping from the question.

“Order me a tow truck.” He demanded.

“I’m sorry,” You say, slightly stunned that he would be this rude when asking for help.

“Don’t you know who I am? I have better places to be than here. If you can’t call a tow truck, you’ll be fixing it yourself.” The entitlement poured out of him.

Now that he had mentioned it, he did look familiar, like a rapper that you liked, but you weren’t going to let him know that. Especially if it was going to stroke his already massive ego.

“I have no idea who you are, and if you’re going to talk to me like that, I’m not helping you at all.”

“Do you live under a rock, or do you lack good taste? Either way, if you don’t help me now, you’ll be in a lot of legal trouble later.”

“Oh yeah, how’s that going to work? How are you going to contact anyone without my help?” You smirked, going to close your door, before his foot in it. His eyes were wild, suddenly realising that you were his only hope.

“Look… I do really need to call someone. It would cause a lot of publicity if I went missing.”

You sigh, he wasn’t wrong, people could think he had been kidnapped or something else out of pocket. Still, you didn’t want this entitled brat to think he deserved any of your respect. So you were doing this the hard way.

“If you want any of my help, you better shut the fuck up and listen. If there is, even so, much of a complaint that comes out of that mouth, there is no chance I will help you. Understood.” You say sternly.

“Understood.” He says, recovering from the shock.

“Good. Now show me where this car is.”

Seeing that eyesore of a sportscar did not brighten your mood whatsoever, it was completely drained of fuel. Luckily for you, you placed orders for your fuel, mainly because the nearest petrol station would actually use all your fuel to get there. Despite his promise to stay quiet, Yanyang hadn’t stopped whinging, claiming that the fact that people lived like this was insane.

“It might be insane to you, because you have a phone addiction. You’ve checked it ten times since you’ve entered my house.”

“It’s not my fault you live like you’re still in the 1920s. I bet you don’t even have a phone, I won’t even be able to charge mine.” He sulked.

“I have a phone, I just don’t feel the need to use it every second.”

“I need to get home.”

“And with no signal, you have no way to contact anybody. You’re lucky I’m letting you stay here until the fuel delivery comes.” You weren’t a monster, despite the fact that you were moments away from pushing him out of your second-story window.

“I could do with some relaxation.”

You scoffed, he thought he’d be relaxing. “There’ll be no relaxing if you’re staying here. You’ll be earning your keep.” After all, living as a recluse meant that you were self-sustainable, only ordering some freezable food every month.

You essentially had a little farm, with some sheep and cows, and a modest garden. That meant it needed upkeep, and whilst you did treat yourself to a lie-in during the weekend, you were up at 7 am every weekday.

“What?” Once again, he seemed shocked that he had to do anything he didn’t want to.

“You’ll be up bright and early, helping me keep this place running. It’s either this or you try and hitchhike your way to the next town with a signal, and I’m sorry to break it to you but that’s unlikely. And it’s a ten-hour walk alternatively.

He was quiet for a second, seemingly weighing up his options, until he finally came to an unfortunate conclusion. “Alright, I’ll do it. It can’t be too hard. Better than dying trying to escape.” Seems like he was also overdramatic. Great. This wasn’t going to be annoying at all.

At least you’d have some extra help, right?

Right.

The next morning, you wake up and begin your chores, you bang on the guest room door and urge Yangyang to get up as well. One hour later, there is still no noise or sounds of movement coming from the room. You sigh, looks like you were going to do this yourself.

After doing your morning’s worth of chores, you sit in the kitchen indulging in your lunch. Only then, does Yangyang walk in, rubbing his eyes and with terrible bed hair. He doesn’t acknowledge you, beelining towards a chair where he then proceeds to try and access his phone. He curses at the lack of signal.

“What’s for lunch?” He asks, without looking up from his phone.

Ignoring his question, you get straight to the point. “Where were you this morning? I told you that you’d have to work if you stay here, I’m not a  bed and breakfast.”

He chuckles to himself, almost in disbelief, “I didn’t think you were being serious, I don’t do this sort of thing. I have people to do this for me.” His voice dripped with entitlement.

“I am not your ‘people.’ I am spending money looking after you here. I am giving you free petrol, which costs quite a lot nowadays. The least you could do is help around the place.”

“If you need money, I’ll give you money at the end. It’s not like I’m short of it.”

“That’s not the point, Yangyang. The point is that you said you’d help, and then lied to me.”

“Oh, get over it. So what, you can’t just kick me out, and I’m not going to work for you for free.”

You let out a bout of sarcastic laughter. “So you’re happy to take what you want from me, but then you’ll give nothing else in return. How selfish can you fucking be?”

“I don’t really care about your opinion, you’re some freak who lives in the middle of nowhere.”

“Yeah and this freak offered you their home, free of charge.”

He just shrugs, opening your cupboards and rummaging through them for food. That was the last straw. You charged upstairs, entering the guest room where Yangyang’s suitcase remained unpacked. You pick it up, before storming downstairs and throwing it out the door.

Having heard the commotion, Yanyang follows you outside. “Are you fucking insane?

“Leave. I don’t want you here anymore, you’re not worth the stress. I live alone to relax.”

“You can’t just kick me out!”

“Try me. Don’t come back until you’ve sorted out your attitude.”

And with that, you slam your door behind you, bolting it shut.

It takes a while for you to get to sleep that night, with you stewing with rage in your room for hours before you finally dropped off. However, you weren’t the person up the latest that night, Yangyang’s car (no matter how expensive it was) was not a good substitute for a bed. The fact that it had been pushed into your drive made it all more taunting for him.

However, for what felt like years, he was finally alone. With the rapid rising success of his career, he hadn’t really had much time to sit and think about his actions. He went to bed thinking about music, and woke up thinking about music. To put it simply, this was one of the first times his mind had wandered away from that topic in two years.

This was mainly why he had gotten so entitled, this distance had also meant he’d hardly really thought of his family, and in connection, the values his family taught him. The long he led in his car, the more his mind wandered, until it fell onto one topic. You.

You were infuriating. You didn’t seem to care about his fame at all, you seemed to want to work him to the bone, and just needed a pawn to do it. But when he stripped all that away, he realised that you had been quite selfless, lending help free of charge, and somewhere to sleep. Even the fact that you didn’t know who he was, was no longer an issue. Now that he thought about it, it had been quite refreshing being surrounded by a person who didn’t constantly kiss his ass. It really gave him something to think about.

The more he looked back on his actions, the guiltier he felt, realising how much distress he had put you under, especially when you didn’t have to help him. He wondered how he could apologise, but it wasn’t like you would care about a signed album. Except there was one thing you cared about, getting all your work done.

The lights were off, you were asleep. Was there a chance that he could possibly sneak in? Exiting his car, he looks for a spare key and eventually finds it under a plant pot. Looks like he was going to do some of your chores until he fell asleep, it’s not like he was going to anyway. Luckily for him, you were quite a heavy sleeper, so he had all the time in the world to get it done.

The next morning you wake up to the sound of a pan sizzling downstairs. You were worried and confused, had you forgotten to turn off the stove last night? But then the aroma of food frying quickly told you that there was someone else in the house. Yangyang. How had he gotten in? Had he found your spare key? You didn’t know why you kept it out there anyway.

Trudging downstairs, you were ready for a barrage of demands, but instead, you were greeted with a cheery ‘good morning’. You were startled.

“Who are you?” You half-joke, genuinely confused as to why he was acting this way.

“I’m sorry. I had some time to think, and I realised that I’ve been really shitty. I promise to come at this from a different attitude. Please just don’t make me sleep in that car.” He pleaded, “I made food.” He shoves a bowl of stir-fried rice in front of you.

Seeing that he put so much effort in, you had to admit that there was some sense that he was serious about this. You relented.

“Fine, but if you suddenly change this attitude, there are no more chances. Now let’s see how you cope with these chores.”

The next week is bliss (if you call slaving all-day together bliss), and soon it’s only five days before the petrol arrives. You got so much stuff done, you could focus on some of your books (your tbr being embarrassingly long), and even managed to get around to doing some of your renovating. Your storage room finally getting painted.

Beneath all the entitlement that covered him before, Yangyang was just a cute guy with a goofy sense of humour and a penchant for trouble. He was deceptively quite a hard worker, which made sense granted his career in music. You didn’t really expect him to be this way, then again you hadn’t really known him before.

“We’re down to our last tub of paint,” Yangyang grunted, hauling in the heavy tub. You had chosen a light cream colour and had taped tarpaulin over the floor. So far it had been quite a messy occasion.

“Just be careful when you’re pouring it onto the tray. It’s heavy and I don’t want you to spill it all over the floor.”

“Yes, boss!” He salutes you mockingly.

“Don’t act like you aren’t super clumsy. You’ve dropped and broken three plates since you’ve been here.” You playfully chastise him.

“It’s not my fault that they don’t like me.” He pouts.

“The plates aren’t people, Yang.”

“How do you know that?”

“Doesn’t it make it more sadistic, of they are? You essentially killed them with your logic.”

“Okay, I take it back. I’m too young to be a murderer.”

You eyed him as he poured the paint into the tray, you could see his grip slipping as he struggled to hold on with his clammy hands. Three. Two. One. SMASH! The tub clattered into the tray, springing it up and essentially all over you. You spluttered in surprise.

“Sorry,” Yangyang calls apologetically, before turning and seeing your grumpy expression and cracking up.

“You don’t seem so sorry.”

“You just look like a grumpy reverse-dalmatian.”

You raised your eyebrow at him.

“What it’s a compliment, dalmatians are cute.”

You blush at the mention of that word. It seemed innocent enough, but you couldn’t help but think that it was too sweet to be an offhanded compliment. You were probably just confused, you hadn’t really spent an extended time period with a man in months, obviously, that was the only reason you were attracted to him. It’s not like it would lead to anything anyway, he was leaving in five days.

This was just some silly phase, you’d get over him soon enough.

It’s the final night before Yangyang leaves, and for the first time in your life, you were sad that a visitor was leaving. Despite your rocky start, Yangyang could be a really nice guy when he wanted to be, and honestly, you’d miss the company. It’s been a while since you’d hung around with someone, and maybe this was a sign to hang around with your friends more often. This didn’t mean that you didn’t enjoy your solitude, however, it was less complicated.

To celebrate his last night, you had brought out two bottles of wine, that you hadn’t drank for over a year, ready to let loose for the first time in a while. Yangyang wasn’t much of a wine drinker but he wasn’t the type of guy to say no to free alcohol either, so there the two of you were giggling like teenagers having drunk a full bottle of wine.

Now onto the second one, you were getting a little more than tipsy.

“Tell me something I don’t know about you.” You started, taking a long sip of your newly poured glass.

“Uhh… Okay. Just let me think of something.” His face twists into a thoughtful gaze, and you internally squeal at the cuteness. “Uhm, I actually play the violin, that’s something you don’t know.”

“Wait, like are you good?” You were extremely blunt when drunk.

He chuckled, “I’d like to think so, I have been playing for quite a while. Though not very recently.”

“You should start doing it again, it’d be cool to hear violin in some of your music.”

“I thought you’d never heard any of my music.” Shit. You were busted.

“Well, I might not have told you the entire truth. I may have… listened to both of your albums.” You admit, bashfully.

“Wait you’re a fan. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Well, when I met you, your ego wasn’t the smallest. Didn’t want to add to that.”

“What’s your favourite song of mine?” He was getting a little giddy (it was probably the wine).

“Oh, undoubtedly Leonidas. You did a really good job with it.”

“Not what I was expecting… but thank you.”

“I imagine that’s what you’re going to be doing, once you get out. Writing your music.”

“Well, this whole experience has given me a lot to write about.”

“That doesn’t mean you’re going to write about me, does it?”

“Well, maybe, you’re a pretty unforgettable person, Y/N.”

“Oh.” You went quiet, you weren’t expecting that. Tension had risen, so thick that you could cut it with a knife. There was only one thing you could do to break it, so you downed your full glass of wine for courage. Then you kissed him.

It was short, just a peck, and you immediately regretted it. Pulling back and covering your face in embarrassment. “I’m so sorry,” You ramble, “I should have asked you. You probably don’t even like me, that was an awful mistake-.”

“Y/N.” He interrupts the long-winded paragraph you were about to say. You turn to him, he gently cups your face and kisses you. His lips were gentle against yours, his fingers playing with your hands and lacing them together.

Finally pulling away, you grinned, slightly flustered.

“I like you too.” He grinned back.

You both leaned in again, the alcohol fuelling your interaction. Soon you were straddling his waist, the wine long forgotten. Your fingers threaded through his hair (which was surprisingly soft given how much he dyed it). The kisses had gotten a lot deeper, and soon Yanyang’s hands begin fiddling with the buttons on your top. You both momentarily stop.

“Are you sure about this?” He asks, eyebrows furrowed.

“Very sure.” You say, pulling off your shirt.

Soon the two of you are pulling off various articles of clothing, before disappearing into your room, only to be seen the next morning.

Yangyang woke up before you, at around 6 am, to a knocking on the door. You were fast asleep, clinging onto him from behind. He smiled, before untangling from you and putting on some shorts to answer the door. Being a heavy sleeper, you merely grumbled before falling back asleep.

Answering the door, it was a man delivering the petrol, Yangyang signed for it and placed it in the hallway. He needed something to drink. Making his way into the kitchen, Yanyang got himself a glass of water before sitting down at the table. Then it hit him, what the hell had he done?

He had slept with you, that wasn’t part of the plan. The plan was to leave and never see you again, after getting his petrol. He couldn’t be in a relationship, what about his career? Why did you have to be so wonderful? Why couldn’t he just resist you for a little bit longer?

So he stuck to his plan, he took the canister of petrol, poured it into his car, grabbed his bags, and drove off not looking back. It was about three hours before he finally got service, immediately called his manager.

“Yangyang, how’s my main man! How was your week, eventful?” Yangyang could practically hear him smirking.

“It was fine. I’m coming back now. Working on my new music.”

“Sounds great, we’ll be rolling in the big bucks as soon as you get back.”

Then he realised what he was doing. He was driving back to a group of kiss-asses that used him for money, and leaving a person who grounded him and cared about him behind. What had he been thinking, sure he loved his music, but it was stressful working with them. He could make music anywhere.

He thought back to the song you mentioned, it was the only song he had sole credits on, that couldn’t be a coincidence, could it? He had to go back to you, he had to know the answers, he had to know what you could be. But he didn’t know it would be too late.

You woke up an hour before he returned, feeling the emptiness beside you. You had an awful hangover, and it wasn’t made easier by Yangyang’s departure. To put it simply, you were crushed. One of the only men you’d opened up to in a while, only to run away as soon as you become intimate. You felt used.

You had heard stories, of him sleeping around. But you didn’t know the lengths he would take, was all of this just an act to get with you before going? All you knew was that he wanted nothing to do with you, so you wanted nothing to do with him. So you got on with your day, repressing the disappointment as though nothing happened.

You get a knock on the door, an hour later. It was him.

“What do you want, Yangyang?” You were immediately hostile.

“I’m sorry I left, I shouldn’t have.”

“I think you made your choice when you packed up all your stuff whilst I was asleep. I can’t believe I trusted you. I’m such an idiot.”

“Y/N, can we please just talk? I can explain everything.”

“What is there to explain? You slept with me and then ran off. I think it’s pretty self-explanatory. Just go. I don’t want to see you again.”

“Y/N, please, just listen to me.”

Without giving him a word, you slam and bolt your door. There was no way he was getting in, you had your spare key. You didn’t want to talk to him now. In fact, you couldn’t think of a time when you wanted to talk to him. You were better off without him.

Yangyang had almost given up, but he knew you wouldn’t warm up to him all of a sudden. So he devised his time thinking of ways to get you back. So far, he had deemed them all failures, with flowers and money not seeming like the right way to persuade you that he regretted his actions. All he had to do, was convince you that the night you shared together meant something important to him too. Except how was he supposed to convince you?

He spent days thinking about it, until he finally realises what he should be doing. He still hadn’t released a new single, wallowing in self-pity, and you were a fan of his music. You were a fan of his music, surely, even if you were mad at him, you would still listen to his new releases. So he knew what he had to do, he had to write a song about you.

It wasn’t hard, to write lyrics about you. It came easily to him, and he finished the lyrics within an hour. When it came to composing the song, it took longer, but he made sure to include the violins that you had mentioned, eventually creating a chill r&b rap song all about you. He was proud of it, the second song he had made all by himself.

Once it had been refined he released it, hoping that you’d hear it and give him some sort of sign, any sign that you’d be open to forgiving him. That you’d realise how much you truly meant to him and welcome him back into your life.

You hesitated for a few days before listening to the song. Part of you wanted to forget him entirely, but you finally gave in and decided to listen. Maybe this song was the push you needed to get over him. Boy were you wrong.

By the end of the song, you were in tears. It wasn’t the pretty cinematic kind either, it was full-on, puffy eyes, snot running down your face tears. You didn’t know what to think. You were happy, that he had written about you, with obvious references to wine, and the inclusion of the violin. But there was also this more cynical part to you, that believed that he was just teasing you, and that this song wasn’t necessarily about you. He doesn’t mention you by name. So you leave it. He would forget that his visit ever happened in a few months, anyway.

Yangyang waits a month to give him some sort of sign, any sort of hint that you understand. But it’s radio silence. The song does incredibly well, charting number one on most platforms and having records for the number of streams within the first week of release. Yet he couldn’t care less about that, all he could care about was your reaction to it. And so was the rest of the world, every tabloid was raving about the mysterious individual who inspired the song. Everyone wanted to know who you were.

After two weeks, he became impatient. So he did the most irrational thing he could think of, he drove all the way to your house in the middle of nowhere again. In fact, it was such a spontaneous decision that he forgot to fill up his petrol tank, and when he arrived, he realised that he didn’t have enough petrol to get back to the city. He hoped you forgave him, because if not, he was in for a long week.

Clambering out of his car, his hands began to clam up as he reached the front door. But he couldn’t give up now, not when he had driven all this way. Hesitating a little, he finally knocked.

You were surprised to see him, when you answered, your eyes widening a little when you saw him. You no longer looked angry, just a little sad. He hoped this meant that you could be easily persuaded.

“Hello, Yangyang.” You sighed softly.

“I wrote a song about you. Did you listen to it?” He was upfront, he could have you turning him away again.

“I did, though I wasn’t sure if it was about me or not.” You admitted quietly.

“Who else could it be about? All I could think about when I went home was you.”

You sighed again, deeply. “Yanyyang, you should just stop. Even if I took you back, do you really think that this relationship would work? I live in the middle of nowhere, it’s not like we can see each other often.”

“So what? I drove here easily enough. I can do it again. I’m not going to let something as stupid as distance end us.”

“I’m being realistic, Yangyang.���

“So don’t be. Being realistic is boring, can we not just enjoy our time together? I like spending time with you, it makes me feel a lot freer than when I’m at home.”

You buckled under his sweet words, maybe he was being sincere. And if he was willing to give it a shot, why should you? So what if it was against the odds, you needed some spice in your life.

“Ok, you’ve got one last chance. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“Warn me all you like, I’m going to ignore it. You’re worth travelling the distance.”

@crazywittysassy​ @yoontaedotin​

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[mindful-of-ideas]

“It’s okay kid, you’re safe now”, Strange said, kneeling by your side.

There’s been an attack. A big one. You’ve been training for almost a year now, even more if you add up everything before you met Strange. Surely you should’ve been ready. But it was this one sorcerer. There was something about him. The way he talked like he owned the place, like he could just do whatever he wanted, like everyone would listen just because he acted like the toughest guy in the room. The way he was exactly like your dad and there was a good reason you left him all those years ago.

“Hey, hey”, Strange said more softly now, “It’s over. We got them. They’re all gone.”

You wanted to answer, to tell him you knew everything was over now but you couldn’t. As much as you wanted to believe you were safe, you felt nothing but safe right now. It got harder and harder to breath. Everything around you seemed to fade away. You couldn’t focus on anything yet your mind felt empty.

“Alright”, he said sitting down by your side, “can you focus on my voice?”

You nodded slowly.

“Great. I want you to take a deep breath with me, can you do that.”

You swallowed. Just concentrating on his voice was hard enough, how were you supposed to breath.

Still he took a deep breath in and you tried your best to mimic him. It didn’t work. If anything it got worse. Taking a deep breath made it feel like your throat was closing.

You brought your knees close to your chest gripping them until your knuckles turned white. Everything was wrong now. You didn’t even feel like you were in the sanctum. It’s like you had fallen through a portal and ended up somewhere completely unknown. Or no, everything still looked like the sanctum, the big door, the staircase curling upwards behind you, the dim lights hanging over your head. Yet it didn’t feel like the sanctum at all. These were things you knew yet didn’t recognise. You couldn’t get a grip on anything. All of reality was slowly slipping away. You were left alone. In the dark. Blind. Numb.

“… -lity. So if you let me, I’ll just put my arm around you, okay?”

Suddenly you could hear him again. But still you couldn’t answer.

“Kid.” He was trying his best to remain calm at this point. “You’re having a panic attack, alright? And right now, you need to get grounded. You’re here! In the sanctum. The fight is over. I’m here! No one is hurt… at least too badly. Just… “

He finally put his arm around your shoulders. At first, you couldn’t feel anything. But slowly the pressure made you regain focus. Everything seemed within your grasp now. Less blurry. More clear. Your breathing must have slowed down as well because you finally got a somewhat positive reaction out of Strange.

“Okay, yes, that’s it. Just slow deep breaths.”

You tried you hardest to calm your breathing has he seemed to realise the pressure was what helped you. Quickly he removed his arm only to place the cloak of levitation on your shoulders.

It was like every single muscles in your body finally relaxed all at the same time. Your jaw unclenched, your arms fell by your side and your feet slid down a bit, letting your knees fall slightly on each side. Slowly, tears fell down your face.

“It’s okay, you’re okay.” Strange said, grabbing your head gently and bringing you in a hug. “It’s alright now.”

You started crying softly. This was so stupid. You could easily take down a bunch of sorcerers, yet the simple thought of someone acting like your dad made you panic to the point you were completely useless.

“I’m sorry… Strange, I’m sorry, it won’t happen again. I’ll get stronger” you said, trying to hide the fact that you were now really crying.

“It’s okay”, he said pulling you closer, “panic attacks aren’t a weakness. You’ve got nothing to be sorry for. But you’ll figure it out.”

He grabbed both your shoulders and lifted your head so you could look at him.

“We, we will figure it out together. We will find ways to help you through these attacks and find what’s trigerring them. We’ll get you the help you need. You’re one of the strongest sorcerers I have ever met and you’ve been through so much already. You got this, alright! And this time around, you won’t be alone. I’ll be with you, cause… cause I care about you.”

This was a bit too much and so you lower your gaze to look at your hands. You gripped the cloak and pulled it closer to you. Strange wasn’t one to get emotional and honestly you really didn’t know what to say.

“Is pizza fine with you, I’m starving!” he asked after what seemed to last forever, “Oh and you can keep the cloak for tonight but don’t get too attached, I’ll need it back”, he said getting up and offering you his hand.

You got to your feet and were about to let go of his hand when you realised what you needed to do. Without hesitating you went for it. You hugged him. You hugged him tighly.

“Thanks” you whispered, “Thank you for not leaving me.”

You closed your eyes and stayed there for a moment longer.

“And sure” you said finally letting go , “pizza is fine.”

He smiled at you fondly.

[prettypinkprincessxxxx]

Miraculous Descendants (Mirandants) au part I: New Queen, New Chances

Remember I had this miraculous descendants au thingy, me and my sister actually came up with this au and we never actually finished writing it and I only posted one or two chapters of it here and back in amino (I used to use that app not anymore tho) | decided to rewrite it since my writing style changed a bit. Should I actually start posting in ao3 or wattpad, idk a lot about those sites I will download them. What do you guys say about this?

To explain this au shortly in Disney's descendants franchise villains are punished to live in a isle with no wifi or magic and since Hawkmoth is technically considered a Disney villain this makes Adrien a VK, considering he's Hawkmoth's direct descendant. Realising this canon information made us imagine this au.

~🦋~

Long long ago a beautiful girl called Sabine breaks the curse that was put on prince Tom with true love. Years later when a villain called Hawkmoth attacks their kingdom, together they defeat him. After defeating Hawkmoth the gentle prince formed a kingdom with his lover and they became the queen and king of the land. They decided to call it Aurandon. Beauty and Beast had the biggest and the most splendid wedding you can ever imagine, more than 6,000 people attended and the whole world broadcasted the wedding. Everything seemed perfect for a while since they defeated Hawkmoth. Sure they had defeated their biggest enemy but they didn't know what to do with the villains now so they formed a court, they decided to consulate matters to the court to have better solutions.

Eventually the court decided to sent all the villains to an isle that has no magic or Wifi. At first Queen Sabine and King Tom thought it might not be the most perfect solution but what could be a better punishment than sending all the villains to live together without any luxury, the young couple decided to approve the "Isle prison" idea and with that they sent Hawkmoth and rest of the villains to the Isle which later got the name "The Isle of the Lost”

2 years later Queen Sabine and King Tom had a beautiful baby with bluebell eyes and pink cheeks, they named their baby "Marinette" which meant "the one who is born to shine" Marinette truly shined in every place she went, she quite literally resembled her name meaning. Everyone in Auradon loved the young princess. Her beauty made many people fall for her and her kindness and elegance charmed every young man and woman in Auradon.

Princess Marinette was now a 17 year old teenager who will be crowded as the queen soon and she has many responsibilities she has to face. On top of this she has these strange dreams about a mysterious boy who is no older than her. She tried to imagine the boy in her dreams again but she didn't remembered a lot. All she remembered was the boy was dressed in patched dark purple and black leather clothing, it was obvious that the boy in her dreams was not from Auradon but more importantly who was he? Was he imaginary or an actual person. Marinette didn't remember meeting anyone like him before.

"Marinette, girl you there?" She zooms back to reality as she hears Alya's voice. "You okay?" Her friend asks to her " called your name like few times but guess you were really thinking hard this time" she chuckles at Alya's comment and tries to brush of her thoughts about the mysterious boy aside.

"It's nothing, I'm still thinking about my first official proclamation" Alya gave her an understanding look, she had told Alya about her plan on bringing kids from Isle to Auradon but she left out the part where she decided Hawkmoth's son should be one of them. She know even her best friend who supports her every decision would protest against it.

"It's just I know it will be a big talk in Auradon and I don't want anyone to feel unsafe because of my decision but Alya the kids in Isle, they don't deserve to be punished for their parents faults" Alya held Marinette's hands to show her support.

"Girl, I understand what you mean and I know you will always want the best for your people but you should be ready for the protests that will happen, it won't be easy for everyone. Just don't forget whatever happens me and rest of our friends will always support you no matter what" Marinette smiled at her best friend softly. "Thank you Alya, I know I can always count on you" they hugged and talked for a while shortly after one of castle's servants knocked on the door and announced she should be at her coronation dress preparation.

While having her coronation dress being prepared with final touches Marinette found herself gazing through the window looking at the Isle of the Lost. The Isle was always cloudy and Marinette wondered have the kids there ever saw sun?

"Sleeve. Head. Ah-ha!" She heard the tailor hum in excitement of finishing the coronation dress.

The dress was truly beautiful and Marinette was even more lucky to have the opportunity to design her own coronation dress. The dress itself was mainly pink, pink as Ariel's dress. The sleeves of the dress were the same as Belle's dresses sleeves but the sleeves were white unlike the rest of the dress. The dress had a upside down rose like look which honor her parents tale Beauty and the Beast. The ends of her gowns skirts were red unlike the rest of the dress. Dress also had pearl white patterns on its top. Marinette loved frilly dresses so all of her gowns were like that. She decided to wear a ladybug necklace to match her miraculous. For her hair she was planning on to make it a bun and decorate it with small ladybug clips since she is the holder of ladybug miraculous which was given to her on her 14th birthday. She had the biggest coronation that was ever hosted when she was given the miraculous and officially became ladybug. It was the best day of her life. She remembered being almost 14 and looking from the same window to Isle wondering what is going on there while she was preparing for parties and balls, having all the luxury.

"How is it possible that you're going to be crowned queen next month? You're just a baby!" She softly laughed at her dad. He always likes to imagine her daughter younger than she is.

"She's turning 18, dear" Sabine told her husband with a loving smile. Her dad pretend to be shocked and than wiped a happiness tear from his eye. "They grow up so fast?

"Hey, papa! Hey, Mama!" She rushed towards her dad despite the tailor warning her not to ruin her dress and hugged both her parents tightly.

"18? That's far too young to be crowned queen" her dad continued. "We were around her age when we became rulers as well" her mom said as they both laughed at her dad. "She's ready to be the queen of Auradon, dear" Marinette gave her mom a huge smile, it felt like her mom was not only saying this to her dad but also boosting Marinette's confidence before her proclamation.

She cleared her throat. "Mama, Papa" Marinette took a deep breath and announced her first official proclamation to her parents. "I've chosen my first official proclamation. I've decided that the children on the isle of the lost be given a chance to live here in Auradon" queen Sabine and king Tom gasped. She saw the tailor dropping the pin he was attaching to the dress. "Every time I look out to the island, I feel like they've been abandoned" she said trying to prove her point.

"The children of our sworn enemies, living among us?" queen Sabine was the first one to speak. Her mom and dad were now holding each other tightly in both hands. "We start out with a few at first, only the ones who need our help the most. I've already chosen them" Marinette continued to explain her plan despite the negative reaction that came from the room. "Have you?"

Her dad asked trying to sound as calm as possible but Marinette could understand from his nervousness that he was fearing the possibilities of her decision.

"Tom why don't we listen Marinette's plan, I'm sure she already planned it. We know not every villain is as evil as we think. Who are their parents?" the queen said, she was clearly interested in her daughters idea.

"Shan Yu" Fei was really going to be mad at her for this, her friend's mom is Mulan after all. "Dr.

Facilier" thank heavens tiana and naveen didn't had any kids. "Hans Westergaard, Evil Queen" The last was the worst for her to explain. "And Hawkmoth?

Her parents were surprised to hear their worst enemies kid was picked by their daughter to bring to Auradon. "Hawkmoth! He is the worst villain in the land" Marinette knew Hawkmoth is extremely dangerous and what he is capable of. She always feared him escaping from the Isle of the Lost and attacking her people but learning he had a son.

Marinette couldn't help but feel sorry for his son.

"Papa, just hear me out here!" Her dad crossed his arms and shook his head as if in 'no' She couldn't blame her dad for reacting badly, they wanted to protect their daughter and people of Auradon. "I won't hear of it. They are guilty of unspeakable crimes"

"Papa, their children are innocent. Don't you think they deserve a shot at a normal life? Papa?" Her dad’s expression softened a bit.

"You know Hawkmoth better than I do" Her dad cut her off. "Yes, that's why you should listen to us" she sighed, she knew it was going to be hard but the result was going to be worth it all. Those kids deserved a chance to have a normal life even if they are son of the most evil villain alive.

"Daddy don't you understand that is why we should save his kid from him, I looked at Isle kids files and especially chose the ones who need the most help and, and you and mom and anyone here know how horrible Hawkmoth is, do you think he would make a decent parent?" Her parents were silent for a moment.

The royal couple exchanged worried looks, it's like they had a silent debate going on. "I suppose their children are innocent" her mom finally said as her dad nodded. Marinette gave them a huge grin, it was her victory smile.

"We are so proud of you Marinette" they hugged their daughter once more. "Well, well done. Shall we?" Queen Sabine held her husbands arm. The royal couple walked away leaving young princess alone with her thoughts.

~🦋~

was always so confused with Descendants timeline because all those fairytales took place in a different time period and to be honest them living in the years let alone century makes no sense so my logical explanation for this is ✨magic✨ also in this au Sabine is the Beauty and Tom is the Beast btw incase you didn't noticed. Love you all🫶🏻🫶🏻 also should I keep the name "mirandants" ? | will use that hashtag so you can follow that hashtag to keep an eye on my au too💕

[pinklily7749]

A week of diary entries

Monday 27/6/2022:

Today is a day in the office so like usual office day, I woke up at 6.30AM so I can leave the house by 7.20AM. That’s how long it usually takes for me to make my coffee, get dressed, wear my makeup and put my laptop in my bag.

My commute to the office is usually 1 hr and 10min in peak hour traffic at that time (but google often says it takes 55min). This morning, I was listening to a book called “Quiet” which is a book about how introverts can survive in an extroverted world.

I arrived at the office at about 8.40AM where I read my emails before my 9AM meeting with a someone from Sweden about how they’re doing a similar project over there.

I also had a meeting in Oakleigh today with the ILS people. The meeting there was at 11AM to ask them questions about their systems. Work trips like these are a good bonding session I reckon. A work mate that is currently on maternity leave messaged me on the way there asking how the project is going. It makes me realise that it’s nice to have work mates who are like friends outside of work as well who care for your wellbeing.

We arrived at Oakleigh and had the meeting. Came back to the office and went to this local banh mi place nearby on the corner of the office and then completed the rest of my day at the office where I approved the Minutes that were ready to be sent out. I also accepted an invite to represent my industry at coincidentally the university where I did my studies and am now an alumni. Isn’t it strange that I have come full circle now since I graduated six years ago?

The women of the office are having a lunch on Thursday to celebrate a belated ‘International Women in Engineering’ lunch and we have all agreed to wear pink for the lunch. Luckily I love wearing raspberry colours which is close enough to pick!

On my commute home, I started listening to a new audiobook called ‘When Breath Becomes Air’ which is a book about a man who truly lived his life to the fullest, despite dying quite young from cancer.

I also dropped by a local Asian food mart to pick up some lollies for my sister and some pork belly, Ssamjang sauce and Vietnamese lettuce because I will be having dinner with a colleague from my previous workplace tomorrow. I cannot wait for tomorrow.

Tuesday 28/06/2022

Today, I am working on some actions that resulted from the Minutes that were approved yesterday. The hardest part of this work is finding new parts.

Today someone went to pick up ‘The Midnight Library’ and ‘Conversation with Friends’ books. I enjoyed those books because they were so hyped up in the book community but I probably won’t ready them again so I decided to sell them on Facebook Marketplace. I find that the books that have been on TikTok (the only thing I view TikTok videos on) have all really bad recommendations. I was also listening to the yesterday’s audiobook whilst eating my lunch today.

Exercised after work and then decided on what I should wear. I packed the pork belly, sauce and Vietnamese lettuce to bring over to my old work mate’s place. Maybe I should stop calling him my workmate from my previous workplace since I’ve had a crush on this guy for a little while now. I couldn’t wait for him to try the meal because he hasn’t been exposed to Asian cuisine much. I’m usually scared about talking about this guy because sometimes I cry in my personal life not knowing whether this guy will be just temporary but I just want to enjoy time with him and that is all that matters for now.

The weather is getting a bit cold outside but I don’t mind the driving so much. Plus he lives near the beach so it’s quite a nice area to drive to, despite being in the middle of winter right now.

Drove over to his place and enjoyed the nicely thinly sliced pork belly. It also warmed my heart that he loved the dish.

Wednesday 29/06/2022

Today I am working from home. Started the day with a 9.15AM meeting with our weekly meeting with the Commonwealth so I knew the day was gonna be busy. The 9.15AM time allows for morning pick ups for other work mates. This time instead (as I don’t have kids) allows me to shower and make a coffee.

After that meeting, I had an 11.30AM to 1.30PM meeting with a work mate. The meeting wasn’t supposed to go that long throughout lunchtime so one of the things I don’t like about one of my work mates is she isn’t very conscious of allowing a work life balance. She is not really an easy person to talk to but I guess I don’t really need to be friends with all work mates I guess. Sometimes moments like these makes me miss my old work mates but it was time last year for me to move on and quit the company.

Today isn’t a particularly interesting day. I was going to meet some friends this afternoon for a market but we have postponed it to another week.

Anyway since today is a hump day, I just had to power through my tasks. After that meeting, I was on a roll to update the Spec Impact, Parts Impact and Impact Summary. I love days where status tables can show progress.

At about 4.45PM, I finished the day off early (I have a 40 hour work week so I don’t usually finish this early) so I can get ready to go to the temple because today is my grandma’s 100 days death anniversary. I arrived at the temple at about 5.30PM where I saw the rest of my uncles, aunties and cousins. The temple was a bit cold today.

I’m not sure why but I feel like a distance has grown between my sister and one of my cousins. I feel like the conversation between all my cousins and I have started to form a gap since my grandma passed away. But as I grow older, I have learnt that i don’t need to force relationships with people because there are relationships in my life that I should put more focus into. Time is a really invaluable resource.

Thursday 30/06/2022

Today is another day in the office. I woke up at 6.30AM as per usual. 

I am listening to the “When Breath Becomes Air” again today and I think I may finish this book today. This is the best book to read during mundane tasks such as these morning commutes because it shows me how vulnerable and great life is. Google maps took me to work today via the north which is strange because it never takes me that way. However it gave me an insight to see what commutes if I end up buying a place up north.

I arrived at work and completed the finishing touches to one of my design documents before a 10.30AM meeting with my team. It’s nice to have a team catch up face to face in the office. I found out today there there will be a grad joining the team in three weeks time. It wasn’t long ago since I was a graduate myself so it’s nice to see how much I have achieved in six years.

I came into the office today because we are having a belated “International Woman In Engineering” lunch at a nearby pink cafe. Got a nice pink latte that was in a cocktail glass and some yummy corn fritters that were also pink. Fika theme of the cafe. Fika is a swedish thing where colleagues enjoy some cake and coffee together so this theme also matched the the fact my company is also swedish company. Got some nice photos as per always at this place as well.

Had to rush back for a 1PM Config Control Board meeting.

Spent the rest of the day finishing off my design document and started the document review cycle for the design document just before I finished the day at 5.15PM. Gee the days feel like they’re so short now with the sun setting at about this time! On my commute home, I also finished the “When Breath Becomes Air” so today is a day of finishing things I started!

Friday 01/07/2022

I can’t believe it is July already. I still haven’t been able to buy a house and I am getting a bit frustrated. I hope I am able to find one before this year ends so I have something to look forward to. It’ll be nice to have people over.

Today is Friday and I am trying to finish off any tasks I can finish off for this week. I needed to collaborate with the Procurement Team with. I feel so tired today which usually happens the day after I have commuted into the office. There are some structuring of the organisation today but it doesn’t really effect the Melbourne team that much so that is good thing. I like things the way they are. 

Work also had a weaving workshop today so that was fun too.

Nearly almost the end of the day, I found out that I had comments on a design document from the Commonwealth. So much to do next week and it hurts my head to think about it already .There are some problems that I don’t know how to solve yet so I need to figure out how to overcome those problems. I guess that’s what my job is for...

Someone also dropped by after work to pick up “The Four Agreements” which is a book I was also selling on Facebook Marketplace. 

I also realised that I have finished three books this week: “How To Be Single And happy”, “When Breath Becomes Air” and “Quiet, the power of introverts in a world that can’t stop talking” so that itself been a great achievement.

Let the weekend begin!

Saturday 02/07/2022

Usually I like to sleep in on Saturday mornings. However I don’t sleep in so much that I miss out on seeing properties on Saturday mornings. I hope I am able to find a place soon so I can get my weekends back. I am so excited to have my own place.

I think I got out of bed pretty late this morning but this leaves me enough time to go make a coffee and talk a little with my parents before heading off for house inspections. I have one today to see at West Footscray. It wasn’t an area that I was initially looking in but the price popped up in my price range so I decided to put it on my to see list.

The property was nice and met all my must haves. The only thing that I am considering at the moment is the price and of course with the interest rates rising, price is something that is on all buyer’s minds at the moment. The more I search, the more I start to know what I really want as must haves for my house and what are my nice to haves. It is often the pricing or “I don’t really like it” are often my main reasons why I don’t go through with asking for the contract for the place.

Whilst looking at the property, a friend was wondering if I was free to catch up for some coffee. It’ll be good to see her since I was going to go pick up a game about 7km from her place so coffee nearby there sounded great.

They had a nice deal for a lunch deal and Mimosa (+$7) which is a great deal but I wasn’t hungry enough to get lunch so we decided to get some small dishes and some hot drinks which was very nice. 

Walked around the area and also picked up “Red Flags” which is the game I had ordered online which is a party game that I’ll bring over to my friend’s next weekend. I don’t own any party games yet but I have played this one before so I want to own the game myself. I can’t wait to have my own place where I can have a big shelf where I can display my books and board games. I can imagine the vibes of that room already. Hopefully my future house mate doesn’t mind this shelf space! We picked up some groceries and I headed home. I’ll probably spend the rest of the night watching a movie with my sister.

[ecumenicallymaroon]

30/5/22

Last night I read five chapters of Little Women. I forgot how much I love Jo March. I'm trying to think of how I would make Jo a D&D character. Probably a Bard, but a writing, theatrical kind, with a noble-fallen-on-hard-times background.

I'm listening to the Sharp Objects soundtrack at the moment. I fucking love that miniseries from a few years ago. I read the book ages ago and it just destroyed me. That's just exactly how I feel when I go home to my parents.

My therapist gently suggested recently that perhaps we'd been missing the point in our sessions, and rather than just the childhood situation I was in being a difficult one that my parents handled badly, I was also being low-key abused by my family.

It makes me feel sick to think about. I have to see them this summer, and I cannot describe how much I don't want to. Originally I was going to have to go home for a month, but I had a full on breakdown. I mean, it was ugly. I was actually shaking and sobbing about how much I didn't want to go.

So I cut it down to two weeks, and then my mom bought the plane tickets and made it nearly three weeks. I feel trapped.

When I go, I just dissociate the whole time. I don't even feel like myself.

I said to my husband awhile ago, "I'm starting to feel like - like, I know my parents love me, but I don't think they like me very much." I expected him to disagree with me, tell me something like no, no, don't be silly, of course they do, you just don't communicate very well, but instead he got this kind of pained look and nodded, like, yeah, I don't think so, either.

Like this.

And I just fucking lost it. I spiralled so badly. I thought I was OK, but I one hundred percent was not. And now I have to go home for a visit.

Anyway, I want to talk about my paladin character.

I didn't roll great for her - I rolled all right, no negatives, but nothing particularly outstanding. But I love her so much. She is absolutely riddled with anxiety and a powerful hope to be a real hero. Her background is that she accidentally caused the deaths of hundreds of soldiers during battle and is now seeking a redemption for herself that she doesn't truly believe is possible. But that doesn't stop her.

She's got a bit of a crush on this guy who I, her player, know 100% is Bad News and probably evil and definitely using her for his own ends, but she has no idea (very low insight rolls). She's young - a fresh 20 - with her only real world experience being battle, which is not particularly helpful. My hope is that she'll either convince Bad News Guy to redeem himself, or that she'll be betrayed and killed by him. I've taken Compelled Duel in the hopes that maybe one day she'll realise that he's betraying the party and she'll be able to compel him to duel her and it will either result in her death, his death, or his redemption, and I think any of those endings would just be chef's kiss. I love a good drama.

I dated a guy like Bad News Guy when I was 18/19. He was definitely not nice to me, and was super manipulative and mean. I wasn't my best self either, though. I think I was dating him as an elaborate act of hurting myself, and hurt myself I did. I think I also hurt him, but not as much as he hurt me.

Eventually, several years ago, I looked him up online and found out that his life kind of sucks now and seems legitimately hard and not due to his own choices, which made me feel strange. I didn't reach out to him or anything, but I think I let go of a grudge I'd held. We were both just stupid kids. It doesn't excuse the behaviour, but I don't feel like I need anything from it. I don't need validation or apologies or anything - I can just forgive him and let it go. And move on.

It feels good.

Sometimes at work I'll have clients who will talk about how they hate the idea of forgiveness, and they will never forgive a person who treated them badly. Which I do understand, and of course I'd never urge anybody to forgive another person - it's their business and their process.

But for me, I don't think of forgiveness as saying to someone, "Hey, I don't mind that you treated me like shit." I think of it more like being able to look (literally or metaphorically) at a person who hurt you and see them as a person who made serious mistakes, rather than as a mindless monster, and you can say to yourself that whatever they did, however they hurt you, you aren't going to let their actions rule over your choices anymore. You release whatever you're holding and move forward - you leave behind the active, ongoing hurt, and view it as something that happened to you before, but isn't a present part of your daily reality.

And also, forgiveness doesn't have to be a once-and-done thing. I think forgiveness is an ongoing act. Some days it's easier to remember to forgive than other days, and sometimes it's a 70% forgiveness. And that's OK. Forgiving someone doesn't have to mean that you are no longer experiencing hurt or pain from their actions, it means that you're trying to grow forward without dragging along this person along and continuing to let them control your life and emotions.

One of the things I love about playing a paladin is that feeling of I will protect what's mine. Not in a controlling, possessive way, but in a way where her responsibility is to humankind (extending to elves, dwarves, etc - humanoid-kind?), and she believes it and takes it seriously. And is willing to sacrifice for it. But I think a redemption paladin would forgive more easily, would hope more, would believe more, not because they're stupid but because they know that people can be good, when they choose to be, when they have help and support to be. They can know that people fuck up, and believe that they can do better.

I don't know what I did for my parents to treat me the way they do. They don't treat my sister the same way. They always acted like I was this terrible teen, this hellion, but I never did anything - I didn't drink when I was underage, I smoked one summer after I was eighteen, I didn't have sex, I didn't party or use drugs. I just felt and expressed anger over how shitty everything was at home, and it was legit shitty. My sister developed the kind of anxiety that made her quiet and repressed and compliant, and my brother just stayed in his room all the time.

Me, I made noise. I shouted. I fought. I cracked the lid of the toilet tank. I cried. I didn't act like things were fine. Because they weren't.

And then my dad threatened to put me into state custody. Everyone was dying around me, and no one helped me or talked to me. I actually thought my dad was going to, he had taken me out for a drive, and I thought we would talk, like we used to before everything was ruined, and instead he told me that if I didn't calm down, he was going to turn me over to the state.

And you know, never once did they offer to put me in therapy. They put my sister in therapy, but never me. My mom gave me some bullshit about how they thought it would make me angrier, but honestly, fuck that noise. I needed somewhere safe to be angry.

Anyway, that's when I started hurting myself. I didn't want to get sent away, so I took all that rage out on myself, and then they were shocked to find out I was suicidal and in an abusive relationship when I was 18/19. Like, no shit Sherlock.

Sometimes I wonder what life would have been like if I'd had parents who actually thought about me as a real person instead of whatever they think of me as. Something that exists to make their lives hard, I guess.

I thought I was going to finally make them proud of me when I finished my masters last year, but no. That didn't work, either.

I think that's why my job is what it is. I can handle all the dark, sad, terrible shit because I know I can survive it in my real life, so I can handle hearing it from others.

This is very disjointed today. I'm struggling to maintain focus. I think I don't know exactly what I want to say, I just want to say something. I want to be heard.

I listen all the time, some days in near silence, and now that I'm trying to stop talking about work or my problems in real life, I have to talk somewhere. I have to have somewhere to just let it all out.

I feel so hopeless sometimes. Having a front row seat to the worst of human suffering changes a person, and I am changed. I am affected. I can't sit, day in and day out, over the course of months and years, and listen to stories of rape, incest, and sexual abuse and assault, and not be changed. Sometimes, sitting with normal people who think reports of sexual abuse are either overblown or far removed feels like visiting an alternate dimension.

Sometimes going to work can feel like walking down into a sewer filled with people trying to sift through the mountains of shit that other people dumped them in, and I can try to point them to the ladder out, but I can't make them use it. All I can do is sit in the shit with them as long as they want me to, and then try to remember where the ladder was when the day is over.

And I think often I don't remember. I think sometimes, my self-care has not been climbing the ladder, but pressing my face against a grate that lets fresh air in. And that's not good enough. It's not. I know that I'll burn out if I keep going like I have been.

Sometimes I do wonder if there are people who just genuinely can do this work, actually care, do it well, and then leave the office and be genuinely OK, and do that for, idk, thirty years or however long people work. Or if in the end, we all burn out because humanity is just exhausting, endlessly dark, and people rarely actually change.

A central part of Little Women is the girls learning to quietly manage their burdens, and help and think of others before themselves. I wish I knew how to quietly manage my burdens. All I know how to do is complain or bottle everything up until I explode.

I don't have a blueprint for making mistakes safely.

[friendlyneighborhoodcapricorn]

tasm!Peter Parker x reader

Silent

A/N: as promised, a oneshot based on the pic below. Credit to @writing-prompt-s for the prompt!

The research I did for this..

Tags: @ginger-swag-rapunzel

Let me know if you want to be tagged in any of my writing!

Synopsis: reader has befriended both Peter Parker and Spider-Man without realising they’re the same person. When both of them suddenly stop talking, reader draws more than one important conclusion.

Warnings: mentions of canon-typical violence and injuries

You knew something was up the moment your friend showed up to school wearing a thick scarf in late April.

You snuck up on him and bumped your shoulder into his arm. You could feel his startled jump more than you saw it, and were surprised because of it. Peter had never been easily startled, and even less so as of lately.

“Everything alright?” you asked, looking up at him.

You saw him open his mouth, reconsider, and eventually just nod. Which was even weirder, because as long as you had been friends with Peter, he had rarely passed up an opportunity to talk.

“You sure?” you pressed.

He nodded again, this time smiling at you. It wasn’t at all convincing.

By lunchtime, you were certain something was wrong with Peter. He wasn’t in all your classes, but in the ones he was in, you hadn’t once seen him take off his scarf.

And as you sat across from him to eat, he didn’t even greet you. He just gave you that same tight-lipped smile as that morning and waved for a second.

“Okay, what is going on?” you asked. “And don’t give me that look! You haven’t said a word all day, and you’re wearing a wool scarf inside.”

He stared at you for a long few seconds, that same exasperated look you had gotten a lot throughout all your years of friendship. Then he sighed, another thing he did a lot of whilst being friends with you, and pointed at his throat.

“You… lost your voice?” you guessed, perfectly used to not needing words to understand each other.

Peter nodded. When you opened your mouth, he quickly held up a finger and reached for his backpack to pull out a pen and his notebook.

You waited patiently while he scribbled something down. Once he was done, he turned the notebook around and pushed it towards you.

You couldn’t suppress a smile at his messy handwriting as you read the words strep throat.

“Sucks, my friend,” you commented, reaching across the table to pat his arm. “At least it’ll be over in a few days.”

He smiled ruefully, cheeks red as he pulled the notebook back towards him and writing something else.

Yeah. I hope so. Don’t like not being able to talk.

His words sent a strange shiver down your spine. They sounded like he wasn’t sure of himself, and you hated that.

You had always loved your best friend exactly the way he was, but even you would admit that he could be incredibly insecure at times. But a month or two ago, it had seemed like Peter had finally found his confidence. He became more talkative, and seemed to enjoy holding a conversation more than before. You could imagine it was painful for him to lose something that helped him be so confident.

“Should you even be at school right now?” you asked, trying to shake that weird feeling.

He rolled his eyes and scribbled something down again.

It’s nothing. My throat’s just too sore to talk.

Which was fair. Peter was one of those people who actually enjoyed school, and it wouldn’t be strange for him to come to school sick.

You only realised hours later that you didn’t hear him cough once.

Something you would never get used to, was New York’s new vigilante showing up on your fire escape.

The first time it happened, he had a stab wound in his leg. He just showed up on the fire escape, scaring you half to death because no one had a clue who Spider-Man was at the time. He was just an idiot fighting crime in flimsy spandex. Not a beloved hero of the city. The guy had joked his way through you disinfecting the wound. You had merely told him that unless he wanted to bleed out, he should leave the knife in next time.

Since then, he had shown up a couple more times. Sometimes with injuries that needed to be taken care off, sometimes just to see how you were. He started referring to you as his guardian angel, and you called him bug boy -much to his annoyance.

Though, you figured as you opened your window to let him in once again, he couldn’t hate it that much if he kept showing up.

“What’s up, bug boy?” you asked, stepping aside as he let himself in. “Haven’t seen you since you got your ass kicked by a mutated lizard in a sewer.”

Spider-Man didn’t respond. He merely flopped down in the fluffy armchair by the window and stared at his city.

You frowned. “Is everything okay?”

You saw him tilt his head towards you, and nod, but he still didn’t respond.

“Are you hurt?”

This time, he shook his head.

“Okay… Then why aren’t you talking? You’re never quiet.”

You were pretty sure that beneath the mask, he was looking offended.

“Hey, it’s true!”

He shrugged, and maybe you were imagining things, but you thought it looked a bit listless.

You sat down in the window seat so you were facing him. “Okay, come on. What’s the problem? Whatever it is, I’m sure we can figure it out.”

He stared at you for a moment, then buried his face in his hands. Or at least, that’s what you thought until he raised his head and you noticed a familiar mop of brown hair. You let your eyes wander down to an equally familiar face, wearing an equally familiar sheepish smile.

For a few seconds, you were speechless. You watched silently as Peter’s smile turned even more sheepish when he did some variation of jazz hands.

Then you smacked his arm. “Peter Parker, you are so dead! I’m actually going to throw you out the wind-“

You stopped abruptly in your scolding when you saw the purple-black bruises that wrapped around his neck. Suddenly you understood why Peter hadn’t been talking but had obviously not been sick.

“Jesus, Peter, what happened?”

“So-“ He scraped his throat and tried again, though his voice remained just as scratchy. “Some tenta-cled assho-le.”

“God, please just shut up,” you muttered. “My throat actually hurt when you talked just now.”

Peter smiled at you, and you suddenly felt warm all over. Hastily, you got up.

“I’m going to get some ice for those bruises, and something for you to write with, and then you’re going to explain everything.”

Before you could dart past him, he grabbed your wrist. When you glanced down at him, he mouthed thank you.

You read the words over and over again.

I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. Didn’t want you to get pulled into this, to get hurt. I care too much about you. Uncle Ben got hurt because of me. I didn’t want the same thing happening to you.

Peter was carefully avoiding looking at you while your eyes darted over the page, but from the way he was drumming his fingers on his leg you knew he was anxious to hear your response.

“I get why you didn’t tell me,” you said softly, remembering his grief over Ben. Grief he was still dealing with. “I’d probably have done the same. Am I the only one who-“

He nodded. “I wasn’t-“

“Peter, I’m begging you, just write it down. It’s literally painful to hear.”

You pushed the notebook back into his hands and waited as he scribbled something down with one hand, the other pressing ice to the worst of his bruises.

Wasn’t planning on telling anyone, but you deserve to know. The first time I got hurt, I didn’t know where else to go. Aunt May had enough to deal with already.

You laughed. “I threw a lamp at your head.”

You never told me what you told your parents about that.

“Said I knocked it over when I saw a spider.”

Peter laughed. It sounded painful.

I knew I had to tell you at some point. And I thought you’d figure it out today, with me not talking.

“I almost did, but then I thought that there was no way it could be you. That you would’ve told me.”

Sorry.

“It’s alright.” You leaned forward and put a hand over his. “I’m not mad. You went through a lot in the past few months. More than I even knew of. But I just- you know I’m always here for you, right?”

Rather than responding, Peter leaned forward to hug you. His hair tickled your neck, and you brought up your hand to slowly brush your fingers through it.

“I know,” he whispered, and you tried not to wince at his hoarse voice.

You leaned back to look him in the eyes. “How many times are you gonna make me tell you to shut up?”

“You’ll h-have to shu-ut me up yourself,” he said, eyes sparkling with mischief.

You were pretty sure you knew what he was getting at, but you weren’t used to your best friend being so straightforward. Spider-Man flirted with you all the time, and you were more than happy to return that. You just weren’t quite used to Peter and Spider-Man being the same person.

Well. One way to find out if you were right.

You leaned in to kiss him, and you immediately felt him tilt his head to lean into the kiss. You moved from the window seat to his lap, and his hand immediately slipped under your shirt, his skin warm against your back.

A rattling sound startled both of you out of the kiss.

When you both looked over, you saw the bag of ice cubes Peter had been pressing against his throat on the floor. Laughing, you buried your face in his neck.

“So much for having a moment,” you giggled, and you felt Peter’s shoulders shake with silent laughter.

Peter tapped your arm and pointed to a newly added phrase in the notebook.

Guess we’ll have to redo this sometime.

[snackleggg]

Okay, we're doing this.

Reincarnated King AU

As the name suggests, Danny is the reincarnation of a previous ghost king.

Reincarnation is a rare thing that usually only happens under circumstance of planned fate or curse.

Danny's previous life (who is just known as The King because he was around a long time ago and his name was forgotten over time but his legend wasnt) was a really virtuous ghost king. He united the infinite realms like never before, establishing rules and laws that still stand even hundreds of years later.

He was actually the ghost king that preceded Pariah Dark.

When Pariah Dark became a known conqueror with an army of the raised corpses of those he defeated he eventually came face to face with the ghost king himself because he was threatening to throw the infinite realms into chaos. Of course he wasn't the ghost king for nothing and Pariah couldn't beat him, instead he conscripted a sorcerer to put a powerful curse on The King but the sorcerer was like "his power will usually deflect any curses or magic and if it does get passed his power it will probably be altered in some way that we wont know about until later" but Pariah insisted so the sorcerer cursed The King to die the next time he won a battle.

The curse worked! It landed! But not without that catch of getting altered by The King's powers if it did get past them. It accidently turned it into a reincarnation curse, that The King would return in another body, another life once the infinite realms needed him to win battles once again.

Then poof! Hundreds of years after The King's defeat and Pariah Dark taking the throne, a little human was born, got turned into a half ghost and won the fight against Pariah Dark after he escaped the sarcophagus.

Pariah Dark kinda saw the resemblance between Danny and The King but he brushed it off at first, but then he was getting pushed back into the sarcophagus and he looked at Danny but instead it was like he was seeing The King again and he realised "oh fuck, that was the catch" right before being locked away again.

Anyway!

Word about Danny defeating Pariah Dark spreads and some ghosts from a kingdom not far from the Far Frozen kinda recognise the description of the ghost and then they look at the painting of their long gone beloved king that a sorcerer had cursed to die. Then they are all like "wait a minute..."

Now Danny has to deal with suddenly getting kidnapped/dragged away to this kingdom he is pretty sure he has never been to before (even though all the land marks are strangely familiar and he can navigate the streets and halls of the castle like second nature, like had done it a thousand times before) and being told that he is the reincarnation of their king??? It's not like reincarnation is even possible though right? (even though there is a lot of evidence and the team has basically all accepted that Tucker is a reincarnation of that Pharoah guy)

Then he looks at painting of the guy and "oh, that's me but I dont remember ever posing for that painting to be painted" (maybe once a long time ago he had a dream where a young painter ghost had insisted to be the one to paint his royal portrait to be hanged in the hall with all the paintings of the previous kings)

And they show him around the castle and Danny is getting very uncomfortable because he keeps on knowing things about this place he has never been too that he shouldn't know (like how the gardens used to have daisies but he- The King had gotten rid of them when he found out that one of the cleaners had an allergy to daisies in life and was still uneasy around them even though ghosts didnt have allergies, or how the kitchen staff always kept the cookies and any sugary ectoplasmic snacks hidden because he would always swipe them as a young prince-)

Let's just say that by the end of the day Danny manages to get home but not without a little bit of an existential crisis brewing (of course Sam, Jazz and especially Tucker are there to help him)

If I do ever write something with this AU it would probably be Danny getting stuck in his old body and needing to live his old life for a day (or maybe a little longer) while barely remembering it

[rendevousz]

freak

avengers x teen!fem!reader

summary: you get captured during a mission and the team saves you.

warnings: language, violence, brief misogyny, torture, **NO sexual assault (because as i was proofreading, i only implied most of the torture scenes because i didn't want to write it in graphic detail and i realised the vague wordings might be misinterpreted as sexual assault which IT IS NOT, just clearing it up), and also again, my inability to write good endings

word count: 4589

notes: i just rewatched iron man 2 so that explains justin hammer LMAO also ooc justin hammer because even tho mans evil, he gets extremely um.. cruel here but anyways i hope you enjoy this!!

you were 13 when you first met the avengers and 16 when you officially joined. you grew up as one of HYDRA's experimented children and the team had found you when they raided the base that you were in.

a small, sickly-looking kid you were, sat against your cell wall, hugging your knees. 13 but you could probably pass off as a 10 year old due to how malnourished and miserable you were. burying your head in between your knees, you covered your ears as the loud gunshot noises filled the whole place. the metal door of your cell slamming open against the wall had you whimpering, hands above your head in fear.

every time the door slammed open, guards would come drag you out for more experiments so it was an instinct for you to cower in fear at the sound.

"last room in the west hall, i found a little girl."

you heard nothing because you were covering your ears, preparing yourself to be forcefully dragged by the guards to the experiment room. but it never came.

"hey," a soft voice called. you were violently shaking at this point, breathing heavily as you tried to calm down. "hey, it's okay." the voice called out again and you felt them touch your shoulders.

your head immediately jolted up, flinching away from the stranger's touch. your eyes met a blue pair as you backed away into the corner in fear. "i'm sorry! i'm sorry, i didn't mean to." the man apologised. you slowly looked up at him, observing him. he had on a full black outfit, a quiver of arrows slinging on his shoulder and he was holding onto a bow.

"don't be scared. i'm here to help," he states with his hands out, as if to calm you down. "that's what they all say." you hissed through gritted teeth and a tear-stained face, glaring at him even though that could've been a very wrong move had it been with an actual HYDRA guard.

despite the strange feeling of being safe around this man, you didn't let your guard down. that's exactly what those scientists said seven years ago. trusting kind-looking men got you into this hell you never thought you would ever escape from and you weren't going to make the same mistake again.

"clint," a red-headed female, also in all black, entered through the open door of your cell with her pistol up. at the sight of the weapon, you broke your glare towards the man. your breathing quickened and you went back to your original position before the archer came; body pressed up against your knees and covering your ears with your palms.

"i'm sorry! i'm sorry! i'll come! please don't use that on me again," you whimpered, voice muffled as your face was hidden against your knees. the woman freezes mid-walk, looking at her friend with a bewildered expression.

"nat! put that away!" clint whispered harshly, eyes glaring at the pistol in nat's hands. nat's jaw dropped in realisation, a small gasp leaving her lips as she immediately put away her weapon.

she slowly makes her way to you and clint puts his arm out before she could get closer. he looks at her with a worried expression as he shook his head, as if telling her that she can't get too close to you. nat nods understandingly, crouching down a distance from you.

"hey," she spoke softly. "i promise you that we're not here to hurt you." you kept your face hidden from her, still hugging your legs tightly. nat sighs before sitting down.

"here, let's introduce ourselves. i'm nat and this right here is clint." you hear her speak and when you slowly lifted up your head, you saw the both of them sitting down in front of you, seeming to have made themselves at home in your pathetic cell. "what's your name?"

name? you had never been able to use your name before. you always kept your own name deep in your heart despite no one ever using it, afraid you would forget it if you stopped thinking of it. the only name they ever called you here was 'number five'.

"y/n," you whispered, still doubtful about these people's intentions. you almost burst out crying when you said your name out loud. that was the first time you introduced yourself with your actual name and not the number you were given ever since you were captured.

nat must have noticed this because she immediately spoke up, trying to distract you from your consuming thoughts. "y/n...that's a pretty name for a pretty girl like you. how old are you, y/n?" she asks again.

you contemplated once more but decided it was fine. you knew you were probably going to regret trusting these two strangers but what could be worse than what HYDRA has been doing to you for years?

"13," you muttered, looking down at your lap. you were now timidly seated cross-legged, playing with the tattered hem of your shorts. you heard a small gasp from one of them and looked up to see clint with his jaw dropped.

the two adults were both thinking of the same thing. how could you be 13? you were so small and sickly-looking, they didn't even think you were older than ten, let alone an early teen.

"i know you're scared and you have all the reasons in the world to be, but i promise you, we're here to help. we'll get you out of here, only if you trust us. will you trust us?" nat says. your mind was conflicted. you were either going to finally get out of this hellhole or you were going to be taken somewhere even worse than here. but could anywhere really be worse than here?

you decided to take a leap of faith and trust these two strangers. that decision had to have been the best decision you've ever made in your life.

you were now 18, an official avenger and you had the most amazing family you could've ever asked for. they were a bit on the crazier side but could you really have a normal family when said family consisted of superheroes? but you weren't complaining. you loved these people.

they were the ones who took care of you when you thought you had no one. having been a HYDRA experiment, you had abilities the normal human didn't. said ability being shapeshifting and healing. that's why you became an avenger. your shapeshifting ability was essential during missions where you had to sneak in and you being able to heal others was crucial when medic wasn't able to be there on time.

you pretty much came along to every mission despite the adults saying you don't have to. you knew they were only doing that to protect you from dangers of all those missions but how could you not when you had such abilities? they'd be much better with you helping.

that was why you were here, in bulgaria, fighting alongside the team. well, just steve, nat, clint, bucky and tony.

justin hammer had managed to get his hands on a type of out-of-this-planet weapon that tony was also trying to retrieve, and he had big plans with it. hence why the avengers had to come where hammer had wrecked havoc in; sofia, bulgaria. he had upgraded his robots with the tech used for the stolen weapon.

with evil robots attacking the whole city, it felt like you were living the story that wanda told you of what happened in sokovia before you met the avengers.

an hour passed before all of the robots had finally been taken down and you all knew you had to get to hammer before he activates more robots to distract you guys and uses the weapon for bad things.

"tony, have you located hammer?" steve's voice sounded in your ear through the comms. you had just finished healing the nasty gash on clint's side, nat's cut on her forehead and the bruises all over bucky. you were feeling significantly weaker now, from the amount of healing you did. you stumbled slightly when you walked and bucky immediately held onto your arm. "doll, are you okay?"

"i'm fine, buck. nothing i haven't dealt with before," you told him, gently removing his grip on your arm, walking back to the quinjet.

-

"no, absolutely not. we are not sending y/n right into a death trap. she's not even strong enough right now, she just finished healing us."

you were all back at the compound now and planning a second attack on justin hammer.

"it's not a death trap, buck. and i know you're worried but she's the only choice we got. y/n, all you gotta do is sneak in as one of his henchmen and provide entrance for us. once we get in, we'll take all his guards down and get that weapon from hammer and we won't have to worry about his world domination plans anymore. it'll be over as soon as it starts and she'll be back safe with us. sound good, y/n/n?"

"yeah, sure." you agreed, already having a person in mind that you were going to change yourself to.

-

the plan had gone just as steve wanted and they managed to raid justin hammer's building, tony stealing the very item that could've aided in the massacre of millions. justin and his henchmen managed to escape the building before the avengers could catch them.

"well, that was anticlimactic," tony scoffs, already making his way to the quinjet. "but good job, y/n. you saved the day once again."

he expected to hear a laugh from you, like you usually did, being the only one who ever responds to him after missions. but instead he was met with silence. "kid?" still no answer.

"y/n, where are you?" steve panicked, finally realising that you were the only one who hasn't responded in a hot minute. "y/n/n, this isn't funny." he breathed out.

"she's...she's gone."

-

"well, well, well," a voice spoke right as you woke up from your slumber. you squinted, noticing that you were in some sort of dark room with only one light bulb right above you. "what do we have here?"

a figure walks right in the light and you could barely make out justin hammer's ugly face with how dizzy you felt. "if it isn't the little freak." he states condescendingly, smirking down at your helpless position, both wrists and ankles cuffed onto the metal chair you were sat on. you struggled against the restraints, trying to get free but to no avail.

your breathing quickened, your current vulnerable state reminding you of your later years in HYDRA. they had started off experimenting on you on a metal gurney but as you grew older, you realised that what they were doing to you was bad so you started fighting back. that ended you up on a metal restraint chair instead of the gurney, strapped to the chair with cuffs on your wrists and ankles.

this felt like deja vu. the same panic you felt, the same breathing difficulties, the same amount of effort put into trying to get out of the restraints. "you should know, princess, that that doesn't work." hammer chuckled, a fake pout on his lips as he crouched in front of you, a rough hand on your cheek. you instinctively jerked away from his touch, to which he paid no mind to because he had expected that. he then grabbed your chin harshly, turning your head up towards him. you glared at him.

"you think i didn't know what you did? snuck in as one of my men using your freaky powers? not to mention useless. imagine having powers but not being able to use them to even escape from mere humans," he laughs in your face, harshly letting go of your chin, throwing your head backwards. "you tell me where stark planned to bring the weapon and i'll let you pretty little thing go."

"no."

before you could even comprehend, his fist came flying at your face and your head dropped to the side at the impact. your left cheekbone was throbbing and you could already tell you were gonna have a black eye. despite the pain, it wasn't something you weren't used to. you were an avenger, after all. getting decked in the face was practically in the contract.

he grabbed your chin once again, pulling your head upwards to face him. "you're gonna tell me where it is or i'm gonna make you regret it."

you looked up at him with a bored look. he punched you again. and again. and again. until you could taste the blood on your tongue. "think you wanna tell me now, sweetheart?"

"never. not to someone like you."

the man seemed to get a kick out of beating you up because he punched you again in the face. your whole face was pretty much numb now and the metallic taste in your mouth intensified. you smirked at the man before you, chuckling darkly.

"sure, beat up the helpless girl. that's the only way you can beat me, right? when i'm all tied up? what a man,"

his hand was around your throat within a second and he forced you to look him in the eyes again. "sweetheart, you're a girl. tied or not, you're still weak. not even with that useless power of yours."

taking advantage of how close his face was to yours, you gathered as much bloody saliva in your mouth before spitting it in his face.

it was very much the wrong thing to do because after he wiped off his face, he left the room and two men came in, various tools in hand for their fun with you.

-

"stark! my buddy! how's it going?" justin hammer's face appeared on the screen in the conference room, where the avengers were having a meeting about your possible whereabouts.

"where is she?!" wanda growled, standing up abruptly.

"what ever do you mean?" hammer smirked, feigning innocence. "you know what we mean. where is she?" steve spoke authoritatively, trying to control his anger at the sight of the man's face.

"i'll tell you where your thing is if you tell me where my thing is." he smiled wickedly. this caused wanda to get angrier. "y/n is not a thing! and the weapon was never yours in the first place!" vision held onto her to calm her down and it worked because she sat back down, though still glaring at the screen.

"oh she's not a thing? seems like it to me, though." he smirked and the team frowned, not understanding what he meant until they heard screams and justin's smirk widening at the sound. what a sick bastard. "what are you doing to her?!" bucky screamed, knocking his chair back as he stood up.

"i don't know, you tell me." he chuckles, and the screen changes to the live footage of you in the restraint chair with the two men in the room.

you were no longer fighting back now, just sat limply with your head dropped to the side. the first hour with them, you had been fighting back like you did with justin, despite the restraints, but now entering the second hour, you were too exhausted for anything.

your left eye had been swollen shut, you could barely breathe through your nose, your cheeks were throbbing like hell and your bottom lip was busted. your head was the only thing that moved freely when hit so the men seemed to find satisfaction the most when they punched you in the face. though that didn't stop them from inflicting pain on other parts of you.

"let her go, she's just a kid!" sam exclaimed, his grip on the edge of the table tightening to control his anger. peter and wanda were crying looking at the awful state you were in, clint, tony and bruce were silent in shock, steve and bucky were getting increasingly angry as the abuse continued.

"are you going to tell us where stark is keeping the weapon or have you not gotten enough?" one of the two men was heard asking, pulling your hair back to make you look up at him. you look at with your half-opened right eye, breathing heavily. "my answer's never gonna change no matter how many times you ask."

he scoffs, stepping back before the other man swings a bat right at your stomach. the air was immediately knocked out of your lung. the men laughed as you coughed up blood profusely. this caused wanda to get more hysterical.

"well, looks like she wants more. i'll call back when she's had enough. toodles," he waves his fingers at the camera with a sinister smirk before abruptly ending the call.

the room went silent after the call, save for bucky and sam breathing heavily from the anger they felt. bucky then turned to steve, pain could be seen on his face. "you said she would be safe."

"i–i'm sorry, buck. i didn't know he was gonna take her with him." steve was still frozen in shock, the image of you on the chair now permanently ingrained in his brain. in everyone's brains actually.

"guys, gear up, he's in colorado."

all heads turned towards natasha and she looked back at them with a 'what?' expression. "you were tracking him down the whole time?"

"um, duh? now come on, gotta save our girl."

-

you awoke to a stinging sensation on your inner forearm. after your bloody coughing fit, they proceeded to beat you up again and you were knocked out then. now you were slowly regaining consciousness but you were starting to prefer being passed out. your whole body was in pain and the fact that you couldn't even move made it even worse.

"oh, lookie here. sleeping beauty is up." you were met once again with justin hammer's ugly face. he was sitting on a chair perpendicular to your left side. you couldn't wait to get out of here so you didn't have to keep seeing his face every time you woke up. your inner forearm was stinging even more now so you looked down at it. you gasped at the sight.

"how'd you like my artwork?" he chuckled at your reaction. there on your arm, obviously carved out with the bloody knife that the asshole was so proudly holding on to, was 'FREAK'. carved out big and bold. on your skin. "pretty fitting, eh? freak? because, you know, that's what you are."

the blood was seeping out through the cuts and it stung even more now that it had been exposed to the air. the asshole moved his chair to your other side. "what should i write on this arm?" he feigns a thinking expression, looking up thoughtfully with his thumb and pointer finger on his chin.

"please, i–i don't know where tony put it. i really don't." you cried, tears now flowing freely down your face without a shame.

he looks at you with amusement. "what is this? are you...are you giving up already? can't take anymore?" he smirks and you sigh, closing your eyes. you just awoke but you were exhausted. so, so exhausted.

he takes out his phone, the smirk now permanent on his ugly face. "stark! kid's finally had enough. wanna tell me where the weapon is now or do you want to find her body at the bottom of the ocean?"

you couldn't even be bothered to react to his statement. the pain all finally registered and you were tired. tired and in excruciating pain.

"kinda busy right now, can you call back later?" you could hear tony's voice sound from justin's phone and the man beside you laughed. "i see you don't care for the girl. what could possibly be more important than saving her?"

"i don't know, you tell me." a voice said from behind you two and before you knew it, hammer was knocked off the chair he was on. you weakly turned your head just in time to see a metal arm force hammer up onto his feet before wrapping around his neck. "don't you fucking touch her again."

"y/n!" you heard wanda's voice as she entered the room with peter. more tears flowed down your face at the sight of them, stinging when they rolled past the cuts on your face but that didn't matter. your family was finally here to save you.

you saw the red mist of wanda's powers surround your cuffs before they clicked open. "oh, bubs, i'm so sorry." she cried, both hands hovering around your face, hesitating to touch you in fear of hurting you. her eyes fell onto the words carved out onto your skin and her mouth fell open before covering it with her hand. "i'm so sorry we couldn't get to you sooner." peter's voice cracked and you could tell he was emotional.

"it's okay," you told them, giving them a small smile, the biggest one you could give in your current state.

tony, sam and steve entered the room to see bucky relentlessly beating up your captor and wanda and peter standing by you as you cried.

"cupcake, we're here now. don't cry, you're safe now." tony came closer and despite knowing that you were because your family was finally here, you couldn't help but let out all the pent up emotions you've kept throughout your time of captivity.

sam had a go at justin once bucky was done and steve had to physically pry them both off of the sick bastard so that nat could cuff him and bring him back to the jet.

"y/n/n, i'm so sorry. if i hadn't–"

"it's okay, stevie." you cut him off. truthfully, you only did so because you knew he was going to giving a long-winded explanation justifying his actions and your headache couldn't bear to hear lengthy sentences. but you also didn't think it was in any way his fault so he didn't deserve to be beating himself up for this. shit happens, anyway.

"let's get you out of here, doll." bucky says, cringing when he sees the blood on the floor of your chair, as well as on your clothes. he quickly reaches to lift you off the chair but stops when you let out an ear-piercing scream of pain. "doll, i'm so sorry! did i hurt you?!" bucky questions in panic.

"y–you didn't, they did. it...it hurts everywhere," you cried, feeling hopeless that you couldn't even bear being carried by someone, let alone get up by yourself. their hearts broke when you said that. you never really cried much in front of them and you were known to withstand pain well because of how much shit HYDRA put you in as well as your powers being healing, meaning you had a higher pain tolerance than most people.

"it's okay, bubs. i got you. let's get you home, alright?" wanda's calming voice broke you out of your breakdown and red mist surrounded your whole body, wanda moving you with her powers. you were thankful of that because it didn't cause any more pain to your body.

maybe hammer was right. maybe you are just a freak with useless powers. wanda floated you into the jet and she set you down on the bed. "y/n, oh my god!" clint cried out once he sees you. you looked much worse than you did on hammer's camera footage during the call an hour ago. "kid, i'm so sorry."

"clint, take the wheel. bruce doesn't have all the resources needed. she needs to be treated ASAP." nat tells her best friend and he nods, taking the wheel and immediately taking off once everyone had boarded.

you were laid on the bed, right eye slightly open as bruce examined you. exhaustion hit you like a truck and before you knew it, you blacked out.

-

"how is she, doc?"

"pretty banged up but y/n, as i already knew, is a strong girl. lots of internal bleeding, broken bones, bruises and scars but she'll be fine. you can check her file later if you want," doctor cho tells tony outside of your room. "it's fine, can we see her?" he asks on behalf of the whole team standing behind him.

"yeah, of course! she woke up five minutes ago. i'll be off now, call me or my team if you need anything." she bids goodbye and left the group of superheroes.

steve slowly opens the door and there you were in bed, staring up at the ceiling. "hey, y/n/n," he greets sheepishly, feeling as though he had interrupted your alone time of blankly staring at the ceiling. the team trailed in behind him and soon your bed was surrounded by the avengers.

"hi, cupcake."

you looked away from the ceiling and turned your head towards tony. "oh, hey tones." you smile as sam helps you sit up while the rest sat on chairs all around you. "how you feeling, bub?" nat asks, eyes flickering down to the bold scarring of letters on your forearm.

"as okay as i can be." you answered truthfully, pressing your inner forearm closer to your body so the team doesn't see the letters carved onto your skin. you already know what you are, you didn't need the rest thinking so too.

"you're not a freak, bubs."

you look up at wanda. "i'm sorry, i didn't mean to read your mind. but they were awfully loud. you're not a freak, y/n. and you're not useless too. that bastard may have carved out that word onto your skin but the scar will fade. it's not permanent. you know why? because that's not what you are." she tells you, taking off her jacket to wrap it around you because you felt self conscious of the scars all over your arms where the team could see.

"yeah, doll. you're an amazing person and your powers help us so much. i mean, you saved millions just helping us get the weapon back from justin hammer. if you hadn't, well, who knows what could've been happening right now?" he places a gentle hand at the side of your head, stroking your hair.

"yeah and who heals us when we get really hurt during missions, huh? i mean, if you hadn't healed that stab wound i got during that mission in new mexico, i probably wouldn't even be here at this moment." clint tells you and you roll your eyes at him. "you're exaggerating."

"i am not!" he laughed and you playfully rolled your eyes once again.

"y/n/n, i'm really sorry for—"

"i don't wanna hear it, stevie."

"but–"

"no. it's not your fault. shit happens." you brush him off. "lang–"

"you say language to me, i'll blame this shit on you even when it's not your fault. try me, rogers." you glare at the blond super soldier. he raises his arms in surrender, leaning back on his chair as the team laughs.

the team continue to entertain you and you couldn't help but smile at the sight in front of you. these were the people who would drop anything for you and were willing to dropkick any asshole in the face for hurting you. justin hammer never had a chance against your family to begin with.

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