#or else id never stop editing

[eternal-sunflowers]

Bring Me Back to You

AO3 | written for @steddiebingo hop into spring mini event | prompt: time travel | rating: t | wc: 3.6k | cw: language, depictions of death | tags: steve POV, s4 canon divergence, steve harrington may or may not have time travel related powers

Steve looks back at past-Dustin and Eddie in what could be the 10th or 20th time at this point and wills his expression not to break as he knows what happens when he walks away. He’s tried to change it. He’s tried every goddamn trip to find a way to stop the inevitable, to stop Eddie from dying at the end of it. 

But then, he’s right back at Eddie’s body, holding him tight as he bleeds out, and Steve is sobbing as yet another Eddie slips away from him. 

It’s like a goddamn knife to the chest every time and Steve is broken. Hollow. Exhausted. 

But, he refuses to give up. He still gets up every goddamn time and tries again. Keeps throwing himself through the fucking winds of time to try his damndest to save Eddie. He’s lost track a bit of what’s his own timeline and what’s another iteration of the same spring break from hell that he’s trying to change.

------

Before Steve started all this, he pulled Dustin aside and had him explain, in excruciating detail, everything he knew about time travel and how it works. Dustin had obstinately refused to discuss anything until Steve told him what the fuck was going on. 

And, well. Steve was too tired to argue, and he trusts the hell out of this kid.

That’s how Steve ended up showing Dustin Henderson one of the Harrington’s best kept secrets. And how Dustin ends up punching the shit out of Steve for the first time. 

Twenty minutes and an ice pack later, Dustin was sitting slack-jawed in the basement of the Harrington home, digesting the fact that, yeah, Steve’s family had kind of invented time travel. 

“The hell do you mean kind of, Steve? You either do or don’t invent time travel. There’s not really an in between state there!”

Steve had adjusted the ice pack on his shoulder, thankful Dustin hadn’t aimed for his face, because fuck he could not handle another head injury. “I meant what I said. We didn’t really invent it, but we’re credited for it? I guess. We helped stabilize it. Made it somewhat safer. I don’t really know how it all, works man. My parents never fucking taught me shit, just told me not to touch this and not to let anyone in the basement. That’s why I need you to explain to me all your nerd shit about time travel.”

Dustin groaned. “You’ve had this the whole time? Do you know what we could have done with this technology, Steve?” He jumped to his feet, raising his voice. “We could have– fuck, man. The amount of shit we could have changed. We could have avoided all the Russian torture, could have stopped Hopper from– hell, we could have stopped Will and Barb–”

“Dustin! Just stop, man.” Steve yelled, surprising the both of them with the amount of power in his voice. He slumped back against the wall, knocked his head back. “Look, don’t you think I know all this already? Don’t you think that I’ve, like, thought about this? Fucking killed myself agonizing over what I could’ve changed?”

Dustin stared at him. “Then why didn’t you?”

“It’s not that easy.”

“Oh, really?” Dustin scoffed. “I thought you didn’t know how it worked. How do you know if it’s not that easy?”

Steve lifted his head back up. “Because – because I know my family and others have used it and it hasn’t always worked out. It–” He stumbled, took a shuddering breath.

“Steve?”

He avoided Dustin’s gaze, focused instead on the simple machine setup across from them. “It sucks the life out of you, or something, man. I don’t really know how it all works, genuinely. But I do know that it takes a hell of a fucking toll on the person using it. Kind of saps them.” He hesitated. “It’s killed people, man.”

“Oh.” 

“Yeah. ‘S not easy.”

Silence took over then, granted them a few moments of reprieve from the hell that had permeated their lives for the last, like, two weeks, but really, if they’re being honest, the last 3 years. 

Dustin broke the silence, stared inquisitively at Steve. “So why now?”

“What?”

“Why do you want to use it now? What could make you want to risk your own life energy particles or whatever the hell this thing takes?”

Steve had swallowed, dragging his gaze to Dustin. Saw the hurt and pain and fear playing across the boy’s face, felt his own heart breaking at all the fucking shit this kid’s been through. Saw the pick necklace resting across his neck. He locked eyes with, essentially, his brother, because that’s what Dustin’s become over the last couple years. 

“Eddie.”

“What?”

Steve sighs. “I want to save Eddie.”

Dustin’s eyes had widened. “Well. Shit.”

—-------

And that’s how Steve ends up where he is, in whatever number journey this is, staring at a past version of Dustin and Eddie, and hoping to whatever fucking good still exists to let this be the one that works. He doesn’t know how many trips he has left in him, and his own timeline Dustin is begging him to stop trying as he watches the toll it takes on Steve’s already shot to hell body. Steve refuses to stop, and tried, and failed, to pin Dustin down the one time he tried to go in Steve’s place. That’s how they learned it doesn’t work if it’s not Steve, or, maybe, not a Harrington? Unclear. Something to investigate later, when Steve fucking saves Eddie’s goddamn life. 

They still don’t really get how he doesn’t collide with past-Steve in these trips. Steve just knows he shows up and no one acts weird about or points him out as some kind of impostor, and he’s never run into any past-Steve. So, he assumes he just kind of…becomes one with past-Steve, or whatever.

Steve’s brain feels a bit foggy on this current trip as he tries to separate present-Dustin from past-Dustin. He knows and loves them both and wants to protect them the same. It’s really fucking hard not to run up to past-Dustin and shake him and ask him how to fix it, right here, right now, as if this version would have any different knowledge to offer. 

Not like Steve didn’t try a few times. No, he definitely took a few trips to try to talk to past-Dustin and the others, or sometimes just past-Dustin when he realized many of the others were freaking out over Steve time travelling too much, some of them bitching at him to stop. And those were the worst moments to hear because these are his kids, his family, and he’s always going to do anything in his power to protect them, to fight for them. 

The worst thing, though, Steve has learned in all these journeys, is that neither he nor present-Dustin quite know the best way to work the machine, so they never quite know where Steve will end up. 

Sometimes, he’s lucky, and the time travel sets him back far enough that he can change certain events, save some injuries and time, get them prepped quicker. Sometimes, he’s a little less lucky and gets thrown into the middle of the Spring Break From Hell and has to hit the ground running, either saving Max at the graveyard, or tracking down Eddie at Skull Rock, or fighting off bats in the dried out version of Lover’s Lake. 

Other times, he’s shit out of luck and gets thrown in what he considers far too late. Sometimes, in front of Vecna in the Creel house, meaning he doesn’t even get a chance to try and stop Eddie’s plan, just has to fucking fight the monster in front of him and hope they kill him quick enough to save Eddie (they never do). Sometimes, he’s thrown right back into holding Eddie’s bleeding body, and it takes everything in him not to just scream in anger then because it’s like the world’s worst double feature, holding the dying body of a man he’s come to really fucking like over the countless trips. 

This time, though, he starts right here, staring at Eddie and past-Dustin as they prepare the trailer for the “most metal concert, ever” in past-Dustin’s words. 

Steve feels a slight sense of hope in his chest after spending the last few hell trips not able to even see Eddie properly. He lets out a relieved breath, earning a concerned look from Nancy.

Ah, shit. Starting here means he gave the most cringeworthy speech of his life to Nancy Wheeler already. 

Well. 

Not like this trip will be any different, the cynical part of his brain bites out. 

He always hopes he can start the trip early enough to avoid some things, like that conversation. It only took a dozen trips or so for Steve to realize he actually really doesn’t want that kind of future with Nancy. He was just running on adrenaline and old comfortability. Forcing himself to relive the same series of days repeatedly gave him some time to reflect. 

He’s only giving himself minimal rests in between trips for present-Dustin to try to help rejuvenate him with fucking IVs, because holy shit this kid taught himself how to set up an IV somewhere in the midst of all this. He probably learned it from Nancy and a handful of textbooks, but Steve doesn’t question it, because the IV and variety of drugs the Harringtons have stocked in their weird little basement, actually kind of make him feel a bit better before he jumps into another trip. 

But, in those moments of rest, Steve has started talking to present-Dustin about all the muddled emotions in his head, just trying to free up space because his body feels so goddamn crowded and heavy after every journey. He’s tried explaining the feeling to present-Dustin, like he’s got cinder blocks pressing against his ribcage and barbed wire wrapped around his brain and an itchiness in his veins.

Neither of them can figure out why, but present-Dustin is getting increasingly worried. Steve assures him that trying to talk as much of it out after every trip helps lessen the feeling. And, it does. Just…not as much as it did the first few times. Each time, the feelings grow more and more intense, and Steve’s worried he’s approaching some sort of critical mass moment, but he refuses to give up.

He shakes his head, waves Nancy off. “Hey, guys, remember to block the vents inside.”

Past-Dustin turns, his eyes lighting up. “Oh shit, yeah, good call, Steve.”

Steve nods at him, then turns to Eddie to give the same speech he’s given too many times to count. Tells them to be safe, to not do anything stupid, to not be goddamn heroes. He stresses that last bit, pleads with his eyes as he stares into Eddie’s. Tries his damndest to make Eddie see, because he doesn’t have fucking time to hash out the why or to help prepare Eddie anymore than he already is right now when the whole party is waiting on cues to get into action. 

Eddie, blessedly, sees something because he cocks his head to the side and squints his eyes. “Yeah, Harrington, I got you. I mean, neither of us are quite heroes. That’s all you guys.”

Steve’s breath hitches, because that’s not what Eddie says here. That’s not the script. Steve has memorized the script of it all in the marrow of his goddamn bones, and Eddie never breaks it, not unless Steve derails them fully first. 

He blinks, eyes widening slightly as Eddie keeps staring at him inquisitively. “Yeah. Yeah, I just, just want to make sure you both know to stay safe. Don’t do anything fucking stupid, okay?” He hardens his own eyes and takes a step toward Eddie. “That means you, Munson. Don’t do anything stupid. Don’t try to–” He stops himself, bites his fucking tongue because he doesn’t have time to talk about time travel right now, my god.

Eddie’s eyes widen as he takes a step forward, his voice dropping an octave. “Don’t try what, Harrington?”

Steve swallows, so many words stuck in his throat, bubbling up in a frenzy to get out and explain to Eddie what’s going on, but he can’t. He can’t tell him that he’s basically being sent off to his 20th or so death in this hellscape. “Just – don’t try anything. Leave when it’s time to leave. Don’t try to buy more time or whatever. We’ll be fine. I promise we’ll be fine. Get pa– get Dustin and yourself out at the second shit hits the fan, okay?”

“Holy shit, you know something, don’t you?” Eddie drops his voice even further, the sound only loud enough to carry between the two of them. He takes another step forward, reaches his hand out and grabs Steve’s arm. “What do you know, Steve?”

Steve blinks back tears at the feeling of Eddie’s hand against his arm, warm even through the layers of his jacket. “We don’t have time, Eds. Just, please. Please don’t try it this time.”

“This time?” Eddie questions. “Stevie, you’ve gotta tell me, because I’m honestly freaking out a little if you’re saying what I think you’re saying.”

Steve shakes his head, whispers out, “I can’t, there’s no time. I gotta–” He takes a deep breath, reaches his arms out, and hugs Eddie as tight as possible. He hears a murmurs around him but he doesn’t fucking care. He just needs to feel more of Eddie’s warmth when he can take it before he’s shuttled off into fuck knows where in another trip, another attempt to stop this from happening.

Eddie only hesitates for a second before wrapping his arms around Steve and squeezing him just as tightly. He takes in a few shuddering breaths against Steve’s chest that mimic Steve’s own, but there’s not time to even process whatever the fuck that’s meant to mean. 

“Dingus, we, uh – we gotta go.”

Steve swallows, schools his voice. “Yeah, alright.” He pulls back, holds Eddie by the shoulders, pretends not to see the redness around Eddie’s eyes. “Please, please be there when we get back. Make it out. Survive this bullshit and then we’ll talk, Eds, I promise.’

Eddie stares back. “Holy shit.”

Steve squeezes Eddie’s shoulders once before dropping his hands and taking a step back. “Don’t do anything stupid. Cover those vents. Make it out.” He hesitates as he takes in the way Eddie looks right now, full of life. All covered in battle armor, sans vest that’s probably laying somewhere in the RV or something. The Hellfire Club shirt peeking out catches Steve’s attention, and all he can think about is how bloody and ripped and destroyed it was what feels like 20 minutes ago. 

“Steve. We have to go. Now. You can do whatever this is later.” Nancy bites out, grabs him by the arm and starts to pull. 

Steve laughs, shakes her off. “Yeah, later.” He steps back up to Eddie and zips up his jacket before patting his chest. “I’d hate to see your shirt get ruined any more than it already has. Dustin told me how hard they are to make.”

Eddie sputters out a confused laugh. “Yeah, they are a bitch, but they’re worth it.”

“So are you, Eddie.” Steve smiles sadly. “Worth every shot I take.”

And with that, Steve turns and walks deeper into hell. 

—----------------

They’ve beaten Vecna. Flamed him to a crisp. Right before Nancy would have shot him out the window, Steve runs forward and tackles the bastard to the ground, straddles his chest, and bashes his fucking head in with his bat. It’s only when Robin grips his arm that he falters, lets himself be pulled off. Watches as she throws the last of her molotovs at Vecna’s body. She lets Steve take her lighter, lets him set Vecna’s body ablaze.

“Stay here. Watch and make sure it burns the fuck out.” Steve orders, an iciness to his eyes that neither girl has seen before. He moves to walk down the stairs, get the fuck out of this hellhouse and over to Eddie.

“Wha– Steve, where are you going?” Nancy reaches out and grabs his arm. “What do you mean? You can’t just order us to stay here.”

Steve rips his arm free, his gaze hard and unyielding. “Listen to me. I don’t have fucking time to explain this, okay?” He points to Vecna’s burning body. “Watch that fucker and keep filling him full of lead and fire until there’s not a goddamn shred left of him.”

“Since when do you think you can just boss me – boss us around?”

Steve laughs, venom dripping through it. “What, you mean like how you boss all of us around, Nancy?”

Nancy flinches, takes a step back. “Wha– I don’t boss anyone around.”

“That’s rich. God, Nancy, listen. I really don’t have fucking time for this, so –”

Robin steps forward. “You keep saying that.”

Steve stumbles, voice softening at his best friend. “What?”

“You keep saying you don’t have time for this. Why? What’s happening, Steve?”

He swallows, tries to rip away from her imploring gaze, but can’t. “I think you can figure it out, Robbie. I think you both can, actually.” He takes a deep breath. “Look, I have to go. There’s something I have to check and if I don’t it’s going to eat me alive, so we’ll have this fight later, and I’ll tell you both whatever the fuck you want to know, but please –”

“We’ll make sure there’s not a shred of him left, Steve. Then we’ll meet you at the trailer.”

Steve nods. “Thank you, Robbie.” And he runs out of the house, slips onto a bike, and starts booking it to Forest Hills, hoping to all hell that he’s not going to have his heart broken again.

—------------

This isn’t right. 

Steve slams into the trailer park, throws his bike, and starts running. But, Eddie’s not there. His body isn’t there. 

This is the 20th something trip and Eddie’s body isn’t there. 

Steve refuses to get his hopes up as he runs through the park. There’s no mass of dead bats around where Eddie di– where he usually finds Eddie’s body. There’s a smattering of them around, but not the mass like he’s used to.

He keeps running toward the trailer, trying to squash down the hope that’s bubbling in his stomach. He can’t afford to hope. Not now. Not until he can lay eyes on Eddie’s face again.

What if the bats carried him off the top of the trailer this time? What if Vecna caught on to Steve constantly replaying this week and intervened, took Eddie away for good? 

What if Eddie’s lying broken and bloodied inside trailer this time?

Steve feels tears hot on his cheeks as he makes it to the trailer, bounds up the steps, tries to rip the door open.

It’s locked. 

He laughs. If he wasn’t so fucking nervous right now, he’d be thrilled that past-Dustin and Eddie managed to lock the door against interdimensional bats. 

“Hey, nerds, open the fucking door!” Steve’s voice wobbles as he pounds on the door, tears still steadily streaming. He turns his head down, closes his eyes as he slams his hand into the door over and over and over. “Please – please, guys. Please open this fucking door, I swear to–”

The door swings open. His hand is still hanging in the air, his head still down, and he refuses to look up. He stops breathing, terrified of what he might see, before he’s engulfed in a hug.

In a hug that feels and tastes and smells like cigarette smoke and sweat and leather. 

Steve fucking chokes out a sob, eyes still clamped shut out of fear that this isn’t real, that’s he’s dreaming, or on another journey through time and this is just a different timeline before they fight Vecna. 

It’s not until the person holding him speaks that he loses it completely. 

“You did it, Stevie. You won. You– you saved me.”

Steve shatters, crumples to the ground, bringing Eddie with him. 

“You–you’re here. You’re alive. Oh my go–Eddie, fuck, you–”

“Shh, Stevie. I’m here. I’m alive, man. I made it. You made it. We all made it.” Eddie squeezes him tighter, rubs his hand across his shoulders.

“Steve? What happened? Are you okay? Are the girls–?” Past-Dustin stammers.

“Shit, yeah, Stevie, are the girls okay?”

Steve nods into Eddie’s shoulder. “Yeah, they–they’re fine.” He chokes on another sob, burrows deeper into Eddie’s chest, whispers, “You’re alive.”

“Yeah, sweetheart, I’m still kickin’. Takes more than a demented swarm of bats to take me out.”

Steve whips his head up at that. “You still– you fought the fucking bats?”

Eddie grins. “Sure did. Well, distracted them, more like. And thanks to you, I’m fine.” He pauses for a moment. “The jacket thing really helped. Wish I’d thought of it.” He squeezes Steve’s shoulders, levels him with a hard gaze. 

Steve blinks back a few tears, wipes away the tears and snot from his face. He stares at Eddie for a moment. “You know.”

Eddie nods.

“But–how? I didn’t–”

“That is a question for when we’re not in a hell dimension, my good sir.” Eddie stands, pulls Steve to his feet. 

Past-Dustin pulls Steve into a hug. “I don’t know what the fuck is going on, but I’m glad you’re okay.” He buries his face against Steve’s chest, lowers his voice a bit. “Is it really over this time?”

Steve feels fresh tears brim at his eyes, threatening to spill. “Yeah, Dustin. I think it is.”

tags (open): @sunshine-daydreams0809

divider credit: @saradika-graphics

just ask if you'd like to be added to the tag list :) thank you for reading <3

[lambentumbra]

its never going to stop

jules (he/him)

sort of a redraw/sequel to this ancient thing

[dante-mightdie]

harmless pranks with 141

price should really put a stop to it, but in their line of work, there isn’t much time for laughter. and if a silly prank puts a smile on his men’s faces for a few seconds before they go back into the shit, he can live with that

thinking about simon and price’s rooms/offices being directly across from each other. so naturally, johnny and kyle tie a rope connecting their doorknobs before knocking on both doors. both of them doubled over laughing as simon and price both yank on their doors trying to get them open, causing the other’s to pull closed over and over again. muffled frustrated curses coming from behind the door

telling simon that they’re all doing fancy dress for johnny’s birthday at the pub. cut to them all pissing themselves laughing when simon walks in, dressed in a full grim reaper costume, only to find everyone else in their civvies. at least he didn’t have to pay for any rounds that night

simon isn’t above picking the lock to the barracks so he can change kyle and johnny’s ringtones to something outrageous and blatantly lewd. calling their phones with his caller ID off during price’s debriefs or when he knows they’re gonna be in price’s office for a telling off. they’ll never know it was him either

the boys telling the bar or restaurant staff to take john’s food when he’s still eating/drinking. but they do it so often that he just starts getting so pissed off at the boys when they do it, so it makes them laugh even harder

john rarely partakes, only when one of their silly pranks cost him a 10/10 he was chatting up at the bar. he’ll talk to the tech department, get them to edit johnny’s pictures so he’s slightly shorter and got a slightly bigger forehead. gets everyone in on it with the promise of drinks on him by telling them to act like the photos have looked like that the entire time. only admits the truth when johnny starts crashing out

[five-thousand-loaves-of-bread]

autism in china

if you been here for long enough you probably know that even me fucking explicitly naming country of origin & ethnicity instead of vague around something east asian, huge deal.

so.

as chinese person who born & part grew up in mainland china n been though HORRIFIC trauma from it... cannot talk about anything related to it.

but in mean time. there important things desperately wish non-chinese, or people who lived) in china in general (including diasporas), would know n understand.

because it been extra traumatizing & isolating n lonely, be only person in big metaphorical or literal room, who know these trauma exist, n horrific extent of it. some of which have live experience with. some of it looming threat for my future. some of it not my own experience but my friends (aka my community. my autistic n disabled community).

so, going share some stuff written by other chinese people in this post. that. oh gods. it so accurate it hurt.

there may be some parts not fully agree or would word different if am write. but. think overall message important enough.

especially if you non-chinese. hope you read through all of it (if accessible). even if it make you deeply uncomfortable. n then imagine autistic chinese people living in this reality. because many parts SHOULD make you deeply uncomfortable.

EDIT: image description link for those need ID or not have instagram

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fact is, most prevalent, majority—n by majority don’t mean 51% majority, but enough to feel like it hopelessly whole entire country—understanding of autism in china is that. there real autism (真自闭症) that rare n severe n hopeless n should die, n majority of cases fake autism (假自闭症) that can be cured / taken off hat 脱帽, that caused by environment like bad parenting, n you should be glad it fake, n kid n parent should then dedicate entire life to taking off that hat to finding cure, even if it mean , via old school gold standard (read: abuse) ABA. all professionals say it all professionals endorse it n who would question professionals? look this grande new intervention came from great United States Of America, that proof it top quality it works n am going charge ridiculous money for it. but why you saying USAmericans n “the west” saying [things that humanize autism], they wouldn’t know real struggle, their diagnostic criteria super wide it all fake, why would you listen to them, you traitor you boot licker. —but either way, both real n fake autism drain on public resources n should be kept away should be locked up in chains (no, literally. seen documentary where high support needs autistic get chain in closet for majority of day, “for his benefit.”), should never be born should all die. keep it away from my normal children my normal children should not have to share same space same classroom same world as it, its behaviors its symptoms its screams its existence rob teachers attention away from my normal children. they all should die n will proudly explicitly admit eugenics good.

(don’t actually believe this. but pretending write what have seen people talk about.)

-

n finally, post about general (visible) disability—because in my however many year grow up there, before (temporarily it seems) left, have never seen visibly disabled person in public. ever.

ever.

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n generally anything from this instagram account. need stop linking now or else link entire account.

.

so please. reblog this. share this. read this. don’t let me be only person bear this. because my god it breaking me

[catiuskaa]

reggaeton & champagne.

PAIRING! lee minho x reader x bang chan

SUMMARY: you knew better than to go down to the club alone. and that guy should’ve known better than to mess with minho and chan’s property.

REQUESTED! by my pookie @sharonxdevi who requested this here! and it’s such a good idea, tysm for trusting me with it<3

CW: the boys may come off as a little possesive, there’s a touchy douche in the club, mentions of alcohol, it ain’t spicy but surely it’s nsfw.

WC: 2.3k

A/N: so i’ve never even thought of writing poly!skz relationships until now, but i think it came out nicely! (and if you kinda recognize the title— i just spend an unhealthy amount of time watching skz edits on instagram lololol)

[🔹☆💠☆🔹]

The sign of the club glowed with bluish neon lights at the entrance. There was also a man, notebook in hand, receiving IDs prior to welcoming the long queue of people. Although it was not the most expensive nightclub in the city, you could see the difference between it and the rest of the clubs in town, in the sense that the establishment was very tidy and clean, with security personnel scattered around the corners, watching that everything was going out smoothly.

It was unusual for you to want to go out clubbing, but considering the boys’ schedule, any chance to make plans together was welcomed with open arms.

Especially by Minho and Chan, who would never force you to go out, but their lingering stares and their arms that would sneakily clung to your waist or your shoulders —and in some cases, to lovingly slap your ass or thighs—, were meant as a way of encouragement when you dressed up and went for it.

And a way to say that, as always, you looked fine as hell.

You had chosen a short silver-coloured dress that reached your mid-thighs, accompanied by a pair of matching mesh thigh-highs with cute little clips that allowed them to stay in place, only because you knew how to entertain your public, and loved every single second their eyes stayed glued to you as you danced your heart out.

The music pounded against the walls and reverberated through the floor, but not as much as how the booze traveled through your veins, only giddy enough to celebrate how well their last tour had gone, and merely to have some well-deserved fun.

Minho’s hands grasped you by your waist, pulling you off Chan’s arms and smirking as he pushed your back flush against his body.

One of his hands remained in place, but the other one moved slowly, tempting fingers heading down to your thighs, as if walking, the motion almost ticklish. You could feel his cat-like grin from behind you as you looked at Chan, who wasn’t mad at all, rather cheekily enjoying the other man’s antics as you kept dancing against him, following the rhythm of the music.

Chris got closer to the both of you, taking your arms and settling them on his shoulders as he approached even further, now the two gentlemen dressed in fine clothes towering over you.

“Our princess is feeling good today, huh?” His hand cradled your face, holding your chin in a tender grasp, unlike Minho, who started to play with one of the clips on your high mesh stockings.

You were about to say something, but Minho tugged at one of the straps and chuckled next to your ear, slapping it back. Your breath hitched, and you bit your lip, feeling the blush rising to your cheeks, the light foundation you had applied not being able to cover it.

Chris snickered, and Minho lightly bit the shell of your ear, and they both laughed as you squirmed in between their arms.

“Ok, ok—!” You giggled, out of breath due to the tickling and else. You didn’t want to leave just yet, but didn’t want to stop teasing your boys either.

Tugging on Chan’s collar, you propelled him forward, his hands ending on Minho’s shoulders by reflex. You moved your body in between both of them, swaying your hips, playing with Chris’ hair as you turned your head to face the man behind you, and chuckled, biting his lip.

They both felt a rush of blood heading to their face—and downwards—, but you stopped Chan for pushing you against Minho even more, one of your soft hands nonchalantly moving from the back of his neck to his chest, cheekily stroking his toned upper body.

“I think we can use some more drinks, gentlemen.” Your tone was filled with an enticing mockery only powered by their presence, and you licked your lips, feeling Minho’s slender fingers playing with the rim of your dress, tapping your thigh gently.

“I think we should head to the VIP lounge.” He grunted against your ear, his breath tickling your there, but the gentle yet lust-filled kisses he left right below started driving you a bit crazy. “Whaddya think, Chan?” Minho smirked, swiftly lifting his head from your neck to stare at the older man.

With all the mix of bright coloured lights, you could notice slightly how Chris’ eyes grew darker. Almost so dark that they could fuck you themselves, and you squeezed your thighs at the thought.

“I think our little brat needs to learn that teasing won’t get her anywhere, hyung.” Minho’s slender fingers playfully traced mindless shapes on your thigh.

The older man swallowed hard, his breath deepening.

“Guess you’re on thin ice, princess.” He leaned in, and pecked Minho’s lips from above your shoulder. He then turned slightly, and spoke in your ear. “You have ten minutes to go get those drinks. Go up the VIP platform right after, like the good girl you are, mmh?”

His hum almost echoed through your body, falling into an endless pit of arousal that those two gorgeous men had created, now able to make you feel hot and bothered in just a cheeky wink or a deep look.

Making you oh so weak for them. Only them.

“Heard that, kitten?” Minho smirked, lovingly kissing your cheek, as close as he could to the corner of your lips. “Ten minutes. Tick-tock.”

You tried heading towards the bar without your knees giving out as they both moved away, and instantly missed their warmth and strong hold on your body. But before you could even try, Chris tsked, pulling you back to him and almost fiercely planting a deep kiss that lit fire on your body, and almost made you whine when he pulled away, biting your lip.

“Fuck.” He gasped, feeling breathless. “Make that five minutes for daddy, yeah?”

And with a tap on your hips and a teasing wink, he left, following where Minho had gone.

You were unable to wipe the giddy smile off your face, feeling your cheeks get hot, and you patted them, hoping that your slightly cooler hands would do something to low it down.

Shaking your head lightly, you waved at the bartender, a tall, blond and handsome young man, and he gave you a kind smile. You sat on the stool closest, and he approached you, leaning on the counter.

“Nice seeing you here for a change.” He said with a snicker.

“Wish I could say the same, Hyunjin.” You wiggled your eyebrows almost dramatically, making him laugh.

“Your three usuals, beautiful?” He asked with a grin, and you nodded. “Comin’ right up.”

You watched as he gracefully started to show off his abilities, passing drinks and metal cups and bottles in flashes and zooms, controlling every move so swiftly.

But then, you felt a hand on your waist.

“Sorry, scooching up real quick…” said a low voice from behind you.

His hands brushed your back, making you shiver. But it was a bad shiver. One that swiped away the giddiness your boys had left, but not as quickly as your smile took off.

The bold man dizzily sat on a stool that could’ve easily been a foot or two away, and your body relaxed easily at the new-formed distance.

You stared at him in a mix of slight disgust and raw astonishment. Used to your boys and the rest of the group, or people like Hyunjin, one could easily forget that people weren’t always respectful, nice and kind.

He noticed your blank stare, and misinterpreted it as interest. With a wide smile, he bent down, grabbing one of the legs of the stool you were sitting on, and smoothly moved it closer to his.

Another shiver ran through your back, goosebumps showing on your skin.

He smiled, and you held back a frown.

“Besides looking that sexy, what else do you do for a living?”

…

yikes.

That line didn’t only give you the ick, but you also noticed Hyunjin physically flinched, which made you snort, quickly covering your mouth.

The man was so drunk. You could smell it on his breath, and the guy looked rather pathetic. You didn’t feel too sorry for him, but wanted him as far as possible, and you moved to the edge of your stool.

The man looked proud of your giggles, but grew restless when you didn’t reply, so he took a sip from the glass of whiskey in front of him, kind of as if he hadn’t had anything to drink in a while.

You sat up straight, glaring at Hyunjin so he’d call security if things turned complicated, and he winked at you as a form of reassurance.

“Do you, eh, come here often?” He blurbed out.

You looked at your hands, staring at your nails, and waited for a second before giving him a side-eye from above your shoulder, slender eyes looking uninterested.

Quickly going back to your nails, you shrugged. “Enough to know that you don’t.” You brushed off coldly.

If you did, you’d know that I’m happily taken.

He stammered, his breath hitched, and you could almost feel him start getting even more nervous, as well as slightly angry.

“Huh? Why’s that?” He scoffed, eyebrows raised at you, who again, didn’t bother to look at him, a bit wary of his moody attitude.

Hyunjin smiled at you, coldly glaring at the clueless man next to you as he swiftly left the three drinks in place, pressing the red button underneath the counter to call for help.

The man smirked, going back to a confidence you didn’t want to know where he had gotten.

Placing his arm sneakily on your waist.

Huh?

“All those for you?”

Before you could react and slap him for his unrequested bold actions, you heard a grunt behind you.

“You gotta be fucking kidding me.”

At that moment, Chan wasn’t so sure if he was the pacific one in your relationship.

He trusted you and your ability to set your own boundaries, by any means necessary, even if it meant slapping someone across the face.

And he knew them by heart. He had watched how you grimaced, trying to take this drunkard’s hands away from you.

So he helped you by slapping them off your body.

As ‘gently’ as he could.

“Move aside.” He said in a low growl, failing to relax until you moved your hand and took his, squeezing it as a way of thanking him.

Instead of getting the hint, the man frowned.

“Hey, if you can’t tell, I was trying to—”

Minho scoffed, appearing behind the man.

“Keep babbling around our girl and I’ll give you a story to tell.” He said in a dark, low tone of voice, eyes and tongue so sharp that they could almost pierce right through the man. “Now shoo.”

Security came by a minute after and apologized for not taking care of him before, then fined him, following the nightclub’s rules and finally kicked the man out.

One of the security guys approached the three of you, and bowed swiftly, apologizing.

“I’m really sorry. This guy has already annoyed some other customers before. I’ll speak to the owner of the place and see if there is something we can do regarding his situation. As for you, miss…” He gave you his card, and you smiled at him, bowing your head gently.

“My name is Seo Changbin. If you ever need anything…” he sighed, a hand to his nape, the buff man slightly flustered. “Don’t hesitate to call me. I can’t think of another way to compensate you…”

Chan smiled, and shook hands with the security guard.

“No need to worry, mate. It’s fine now.” He stated calmly, his other hand still engulfing yours.

Minho bowed at him, his arm around your waist, as if trying to erase any marks or traces of the drunkard’s touch.

“Home, love?” He said in a gentle whisper, kissing your temple after you nodded. “S’okay.”

Minho opened the door to the car for you, and Chan’s hand never left your thigh the whole way back home.

As soon as you got back, you let out a tired sigh.

Chris hugged you from behind, and you melted under his touch. With a soft grin, Minho ushered Chan’s arms away from you, and swiftly took you in his arms.

“Sleepy?” The older one asked, but you shook your head. You didn’t want the night to end on this note. “Then I’ll go get something. You guys get going.” He smiled at you, eyes soft as he lovingly stroke your cheek, your face resting on Minho’s shoulder.

With a slight smirk, he patted Minho’s butt, and headed to his studio.

“Bang Chan!” He whisper-yelled, ears red, and you chuckled lowly.

“Cheeky little baby.” Minho cooed at you, heading to your shared room, and you giggled softly, hiding your head on the crook of his neck. “Let us take care of you, yeah?”

You moved your head from his neck and pecked his lips. Minho took you to bed, and tenderly took your heels off.

“Shower?” He asked softly, but you shook your head no, so he nodded, taking off your dress. With a cat-like grin, his fingers went back to your thighs.

“You have to wear these more often, you little tease.” He snickered, and you smiled, blushing softly. “You look so good in everything.” He said, stroking your cheek.

Chan quickly came back, fluffy blankets and laptop with him.

“Movie night!” He smiled, almost childishly, and both your and Minho’s heart tugged on your chests.

They took their fancy clothes off and put on sleeveless shirts and the matching pyjama pants you had gifted them for Christmas, who were at first meant as a joke, but remained being used just because how comfy they were.

There, snuggled between Chan and Minho, you smiled, taking both of their hands.

“I’m hungry.” You said, pouting unconciously.

“We can make popcorn if you want.” Christ suggested, pausing the movie.

You sat in your knees, looking at them with a smirk.

Minho smirked back, starting to guess where this was headed.

“What do you want to eat, kitten?”

You snickered.

“I want to have ramen.”

~kats, who hopes everyone understood that kdrama reference just now ;););););)

[applescoven]

Outsiders gang headcanons

(That really aren’t headcanons because im a ponyboy fictive and just sharing random memories)

Johnny didn’t talk much, but if you got him talking about cats it would never stop, real lot of fun facts saved in his brain

Especially calico cats? He really liked calico cats, like the pattern or something

Ponyboy hated the blonde cut hair, but always left it alone since he felt like that was the last thing he’d ever have of Johnny

The Shepard gang did not like chocolate (I don’t know how)

Dally had this secret rivalry with everyone that only he knew about, where he made everything into a competition he would win

Darry is the only person to say “I wouldn’t get addicted to (insert thing), id just stop” and be right about it

Ponyboy didn’t like alcohol because it was beer, hand him a fruity drink like a strawberry daiquiri and he’ll be all over it

He still wouldn’t drink it regularly though, insert “that’s a girls drink” and he has enough addictions under his belt already

All of the Curtis siblings have chronic migraines but deny it

Soda once made himself cry in a movie by going “I will cry if this happens in the movie”

He wasn’t even sad he was borderline laughing

Pony and curly both have various scars on each other from doing extremely dumb things

Pony would say it’s stupid, but curly would call him chicken so then he’d do it anyways

Johnnys favorite place to sleep if it was late and he needed to get out was under a huge oak tree not to far from the house (if he didn’t crash at the Curtis house of course)

Speaking of the Curtis house, it was a one floor ranch house with very little rooms. It was a 4 bed 1 bath, but one of the rooms got turned into Darry’s work room

If any of the boys got asked the “bring only one thing to a deserted island” question, they’d all say hair oil with no hesitation

Half of the dirty things dally said he didn’t know what he was talking about and picked it up from a movie

If Johnny were alive today he’d have one of those raccoon tail hair styles (probably blue)

Darry would listen to Taylor swift

Pony started a running joke of saying “don’t tell darry” over everything (ex. He pours himself a soda in front of Darry and says “don’t tell Darry” as loudly has he possibly can) ((he gets jokingly shoved for this every time))

Pony is not the type to remind the teacher of homework, more like confusedly bring his homework to the teacher after class is done and walk away

Almost everyone had a specialized nickname for eachother, some that only a specific person could call them and if someone else tried they’d get the tar beaten out of them

In pony and sodas room the closet was full to the brim of snacks in emergencies

It also had an ash tray only pony knew about in case he wanted a smoke

This post is gonna be a mile long if I continue but I might do a part 2 some day

Edited a few things because I wrote it at 1am and it had issues

[the-alarm-system]

personal effects(Ardyn) of following the separation doc and practicing exercises from the tulpanomicon for around a month

-My blackout amnesia has changed, it used to be I wouldn't be able to remember events or images or anything but I'd have a "general vibe" of what happened, now I have nothing not even the vibe of when someone else fronts, complete full blackout

-I'm able to handle multiple headmates fronting without pain or blurryness or struggle due to imposition exercises and seperation exercises, we are able to even "flow into and out of the body" easily at multiple fronts without extreme headaches, headmates taking control of limbs at random was a lot easier for them to do

-I'm able to strongly impose multiple headmates at once and physically feel them better, smell them better, and etc due to both visualization techniques and imposition exercises from tulpanomicon

-my relationship with the body has changed a lot more, seeing the body more as a "vehicle/vessel" has made manual switching much easier and less painful, but i also no longer see it as solely just my body(may be a con for others but not really for me)

-going off the top point, my dissociation has also kinda changed? it's more physical, less mental fuzziness but i cannot feel physical sensations on the body that much. like if i touch something i cannot feel it as strong. if i pinch myself i cannot feel it unless i focus more. id like to say i never did much grounding exercises, but i might start doing them mostly for fun and experimentation. like basically what im trying to say is i dont feel the "highness" of dissociation that caused me a lot of trouble but i cannot physically feel the body, honestly preferred

-i can see the headspace extremely vivid and also remember headspace memories extremely well, in order to help this i also took the advice of a tulpamancer and stopped subconsciously seeing it as "a mere visualization technique" and more of "a real place within that headmates go to when they arent fronting" which also helped with trust in my plurality

-i hear my headmates voices a lot louder and more vividly, think this had a huge trust factor too

-my doubt has gone down significantly

-headmates are able to kinda "walk by" and say something to me a lot easier without us blending and blurrying, our distinction from another is so much better

-since i do not identify with the body as much, im a lot more comfortable and willing to let my headmates edit the body however

-system communication is better

-im more willing and comfortable to go inside for long periods of time and allow my headmates to front for as much as they like

-i more see myself as another headmate instead of subconciously seeing myself as a "host/realest one" which is good for our relationship

-i also use law of assumption with this, so seeing changes has also helped my confidence in myself and im no longer feeling as powerless

[dragonmuse]

How to be a Dirtbag Fic Writer

I got to do some talking about writing today and I couldn’t stop thinking about it so here are my full thoughts on the matter of being a dirtbag fic writer.

Being the disorganized thoughts of someone two and a half decades into the beautiful mess that is writing fanfic (and a few non-fanfic things too).

What is a dirtbag fic writer? 

 I am talking about someone who is not cleaning up anything. We show up filthy, fresh out of rooting around in the garden of our imaginations. We probably smell a little from work. We will hand you our hard grown fruits, but we have not washed them and we carried them in the bottom upturned parts of our t-shirts. The fruit is a little bruised. It’s not cut up or put in a bowl yet. But we got it in the house! It’s here. Someone can eat it.  

Why dirtbag it? Because the fruit gets in the house. If you’re hemming and hawing, if the idea you want to do seems to be big or you want it perfect and shiny. If you’re imagining a ten thousand step process, so you’re not taking the first step? Dirtbag it. 

How do I dirtbag? 

That’s the best part. You just write. Sit down. One word after the other. No outline, no plan, no destination. No thought of editing. Just word vomit. Every word is a good word. It’a word that wasn’t there before. Grammar sucks? Who cares. Can’t think of the perfect word? Fuck it, put in the simplest version of what you mean. 

Write the idea that you love. The one thing you want to say. Has it been done 3000000 times? WHO CARES human history is long, every idea has been done, probably more than twice. YOU have never written it before. It’s your grubby potato that you clawed out of the ground and guess what someone can still make it into delicious french fries. 

Now here’s the critical part. Write as much as you can squeeze out of your brain. One word in front of the other. 

And then I challenge you this: at most, read it over once and then put it into the world. Just as it is. AND THIS IS IMPORTANT: DO IT WITHOUT APOLOGY OR CAVEAT.  I challenge you, beautiful dirtbag to not pre-emptively apologize. Do not make your work lesser. THAT IS YOUR POTATO! It has eyes and roots and dirt clinging to it because that is what happens.  We are dirtbagging it today. Hell really confused people at do #dirtbagwriter on it.  

Dirtbag writes id, base, lizard brain. Dig in the fertile garden of your imagination. What is the story you tell yourself before you fall asleep? What’s your anxiety this week? Your fantasy? What is going well? What do you wish things looked like? Who is the feral imaginary character you’ve been crafting to take your frustrations and joys out on? 

But, VEE, I wish to have an editor and an outline, use a cool software like scrivener instead of retching up onto a google doc and making it look NICE and PRETTY!

COOL! DO THAT THEN! IF YOU’RE ACTUALLY DOING IT! You should have a process! That’s cool and healthy and necessary for sustainable writing. But if you’re not writing because all of that seems too much? THEN DON’T. 

Did you know fic is free? That we do this from love? From sheer desire? For the love of the game? If you have a process, and the words are flowing, amazing, I love that for you, you don’t need this essay.  If you don’t, let us continue. 

What does dirtbag writing look like? 

It’s messy. It’s a little raw and tatty around the edges sometimes. It’s weird.  It’s someone else’s first draft. Maybe it winds up being your first draft, Idek, that’s your business. 

It’s jokes that make YOU laugh. It’s drama that would make YOU cry if you read it. You are your first commenter. You are your first audience (and possibly continuing pleasure! If you don’t go back and reread your own work sometimes, you might be missing out on one of your favorite authors cause you wrote it for you! Wait until you’re not so close to it. Years sometimes. Then hey, maybe some of this is pretty dang good actually.) 

It has mistakes. 

Dirtbags make mistakes, but dirtbags have published pieces. They have things other people can read out there. 

What if I don’t get good feedback? 

Look, the most likely outcome of any new, untried fic writer (and even established writers trying something new-ish)  is that you get no feedback. That’s real. Silence. It’s eerie, it’s terrible, it sucks. I don’t want to pretend it doesn’t. But nothing is not negative. It’s a big fic-y ocean out there and we are all wee itty-bitty-sometimes-with-titty fishes.  

You should still do it all over again. And again. And again. You get better at writing by writing. You just do. Nothing else replaces it. If your well is dry? Fill it with new things. Go do something new, read a new kind of book, watch a new film,  (libraries have so much good shit, you don’t even have to spend money for so many things if you have a library card), just go for a walk in a new direction. Stimulate yourself. Got a cup of something hot and eavesdrop on conversations. Refill yourself with newness. 

And hey, speaking of, do you leave comments? Because you get what you give. You can build relationships with people by commenting and that builds community and community means places to get feedback in the end. Comments are gold. They are all we are paid in. Tip your writers with ‘extra kudos’ or ‘this made me laugh’. And hey, when you go back for a re-read so you can tell them your favorite part? Ask yourself how they made that favorite part? What do you like about it?  Tone? Metaphor? The structure? Reading teaches us how to write too! 

BUT, okay. Sometimes. Sometimes there is actual bad feedback and people suck. 

You know the best part about being a dirtbag? Unrepentant block, delete, goodbye. You don’t own anyone with a shitty opinion any of your precious time on this earth. You did it for free, you gave them your dirty, but still delicious fruit and they went ‘ew, this is a dirty strawberry, how could you not make a clean tomato?”  Because you didn’t plant fucking tomatoes, did you? Don’t fight, don’t engage. Block. Delete. Goodbye. 

If someone in person, looked you in the eye when you brought them a plate of food to share at a party and they said “Why didn’t you bring me MY favorite? This isn’t cooked well at all.” You would probably write up a Reddit AiTA question about it just to hear five thousand people say they were an asshole.   Fic is no different 

And hey, when you dirtbag it? You know you did. It’s not your most cleaned up perfect version. So who cares what they think? You might make it more shiny and polished next time! You might NOT. 

Ok, but what if I don’t finish it? 

Fuck it, post it anyway. 

What if it’s bad? 

Fuck it, post it anyway. 

What if it doesn’t make sense? 

That’s ART, baby. Fuck it, post it anyway. 

What if what I want to write doesn’t work with current fandom norms? 

Then someone out there probably needs it!  And what the hell is this? The western canon? FUCK IT POST IT ANYWAY* 

*Basic human decency is not a ‘fandom norm’. Don’t be racist, sexist, ableist, fat shaming, classist or shitty about anyone's identity on main, okay? Dirtbag writers are KIND first and foremost. Someone saying you are stepping into shit about their identity is not the same as unsolicited crappy feedback about pairings. In the immortal words of Kurt Vonnegut: "God damn it, you've got to be kind.”

You’re being very flippant about something that’s scary. 

I know. I know I am. I know it can be scary. But no risk, no reward and hell, you aren’t using your goddamn legal name on the internet are you? (please for the love of fuck do not be using your legal name to write fic) You’ve got on a mask. You’re a superhero. With dirt on your cape. 

That niche thing that you think no one cares about? Guaranteed you will find someone else in the world who wants it. Maybe they won’t find it right away. Maybe they will be too shy to comment or even hit a button. But your dirty potato will stick with them. They will make french fries in their head.

You have an audience. But they can’t find you if you have nothing out there. 

Go forth. Make. 

You have some errors in this essay. 

PROBABLY CAUSE I DIRTBAGGED IT.  But I picked this strawberry for you out of my brain, so I hope you run it under some cold water and find the good bits and have a nice snack. Or throw it away. Or use it to plant more strawberries (I know that’s not how strawberries work, metaphors break when stretched).  

#dirtbagwriter 

Go forth and MAKE

[noisydelusionlove]

Chapter 9: Night Out

Pairings: Poly141xOriginal Character, GazxOriginal character, SoapxOriginal Character

Warnings: Medical inaccuracies, military inaccuracies, Alpha/Beta/Delta/Omega Dynamics, Alcohol, Kissing, Dancing, Drunk characters and questionable decisions

Not edited or Beta Read

A/N: Kind of a little ‘let loose’ chapter for the Betas and our little Omega

Aurora smiles as she walks through the halls with Kyle, his linen and spearmint scent filling her lungs, causing her to relax naturally. She is surprised at how much she missed his scent. As they approach the rec room the smell of rain and citrus hits her nose, the unmistakable scent of Johnny. As they enter the room she sees Johnny relaxing on the couch. His hair is wet, freshly showered it seems, and he’s in casual clothes, a black t-shirt that looks a few sizes too tight, and a pair of jeans whose size is also questionable on him. He beams when he sees Aurora walk in, taking a deep breath in her scent as he rises to his feet. “Missed me, Bonnie?” He says as Aurora reacts by instinct, her Omega drawn to the Beta scent. She walks over and wraps him in a hug that he quickly returns. “Maybe I should have left on a mission sooner.” Johnny jokes as he hugs her back, letting her go when she pulls away.

”I’m going to shower and get ready, had to stop and grab my favorite medic beforehand.” Kyle jokes as he walks out of the room. Aurora raises an eyebrow as she looks at Johnny. “Get ready?” she says curiously as Johnny smirks. “Yeah, we just got back from a mission so we are all heading to the bar just off base. I wanted to ask you to join us since you’re a part of this pack now.” He smiles as Aurora looks up at him for a moment, considering if she should mix any amount of alcohol and the men in this pack. After a moment she sighs. “Fine, let me go get ready.” she laughs as Johnny practically jumps for joy as she turns and heads to her room to change.

Thirty minutes later Aurora is dressed in her casual clothes, a pair of black flare-leg pants, a cropped band t, and her Converse, never having been one for heels. Her hair is down in its naturally wavy state and she even threw on a bit of eyeliner and mascara. She grabs her phone, making sure her credit card, military ID, and regular ID are in place as she steps out of her room and heads back to the rec room to meet the boys. When she walks in she notices everyone in casual clothes, mostly jeans and too-tight t-shirts, but John has on a button-up, and Ghost has on a black hoodie with a black surgical mask covering the lower half of his face. They all stop chattering when she enters and Aurora can't help but feel slightly uncomfortable at all the eyes on her.

Kyle walks up to her and holds his hand out. “Phone please ma’am.” He smiles as Aurora hands him her phone curiously. “Why?” she asks as he asks her to unlock it. She watches as he programs a few numbers into her phone before pulling out his phone and sending a text. She hears her phone go off and when she looks she sees a new group chat with all of the 141 members, including her. “Soap tends to get drunk and wander off so I want to make sure everyone can contact each other tonight.” He smiles as Aurora nods. John heads to the door holding keys as he calls out “Alright let's go ya muppets the sooner we leave the sooner I'm dragging a drunk Soap and Gaz home.” Aurora laughs as she follows behind him with Kyle walking next to her. “He’s always the designated driver, Ghost rides shotgun so that means it's a sergeant club in the backseat.” Kyle jokes as Aurora shakes her head.

They head outside and pile into a black SUV. Aurora sits in the backseat between Kyle and Johnny. She’s thankful that the SUV is roomy or else she would be squished between the two walls of muscle on either side of her. “Rules, since Sargeant Lee is new to our nights out,” John calls out as he drives. “You can drink whatever, but if me or Ghost cuts you off you’re done. You do not leave with anyone that you don’t know, if they want to meet you back at the barracks and they have clearance to get on base that’s fine.” John says, Ghost tries to hide his growl at the idea of Aurora bringing someone back to her room. “Try to not get into any brawls unless you want the night to end abruptly. If you’re made uncomfortable by some drunk Alpha or even Beta find one of us and we will handle it. Just be safe and try to not get too stupid. Also, do not throw up in this vehicle or you will be scrubbing it.” John finishes as Johnny and Kyle say “Yes sir.” With Aurora echoing right behind them.

”We honestly just get a table and drink, maybe play some pool, and if I can get Johnny drunk enough we dance. Do you dance?” Kyle says as he leans over to talk to Aurora. “Hmm, after a few drinks, I might.” She jokes as she gives a playful wink causing Kyle to let out a laugh. The car stops and Aurora sees that they’ve arrived at the bar, it was right off base it seems. The group piles out of the SUV and Aurora follows behind the group as they head inside. John heads to find a table to accommodate the group. He finds a corner booth and motions for Aurora to slide in “middle” he mumbles as Aurora slides into the middle of the seat. Kyle slides in to her right with John next to him, and Johnny to her left with Ghost next to him. John stands after everyone is seated. “I already know the orders for all of them, Aurora what would you like?” He asks as she looks at him. She glances around at the others, debating on trying to fit in with a hardened military crowd and go for Whiskey or go for what she wants, a more fruity cocktail.

”Get whatever you want, we won’t judge.” Johnny whispers as he notices her slight unease. She turns and smiles at him “Just a vodka cranberry for now.” She says and he smiles. Kyle smirks as he looks at him. “Shots?” He asks which causes John to groan as Kyle puts on his best puppy dog eyes. John grunts before walking away. Aurora laughs as she shakes her head at him. After a moment John returns with a tray of glasses. He sits Aurora’s drink down in front of her before placing a bourbon in front of Ghost, a bourbon for him, beers in front of Johnny and Kyle, and 6 clear shots in the middle of the table. Aurora raises an eyebrow “Six?” she asks curiously. Kyle smirks as he laughs. “Price and Ghost won’t be doing them, so it’s two for each of us, for now.” He says which causes Aurora to roll her eyes as she sips her drink.

”So, how are you enjoying your first week?” Johnny asks as he drinks his beer. Aurora smiles as she angles her body slightly towards him to answer. “It’s been fun. I worked some shifts at the hospital while you were on your mission.” She says with a smile. Half an hour later John and the boys are playing pool while Aurora sits on a bar stool watching. She is on her third drink, Johnny and Kyle have each finished three beers, and the three of them have each taken three shots. Aurora is feeling a good buzz and is smiling as she watches the boys banter and argue over the game of pool. After a moment she feels a hand on her hip and an unfamiliar scent hits her nose. She turns and looks at who is touching her and sees a blonde man she thinks she’s seen a few times in the mess hall.

”Hi there I’m Grayson.” The man says, he reeks of alcohol and his scent is not pleasing on Aurora’s nose at all. “Let me buy you a drink.” He says, either ignoring the scent of annoyance rolling off of the Omega, or not caring. Aurora lets out a small warning growl. “I’ll let you keep that hand if you remove it right this second.” She snaps. Grayson’s eyes widen slightly, shocked that an Omega wouldn’t be charmed by an Alpha flirting with them. “I’m just trying to get to know you princess.” He purrs out, trying to push his scent out to impress her. Aurora lets out a louder growl, this time the team hears and all four members of the 141 have turned their attention to the Alpha currently flirting with her. Aurora sighs as she reaches down and grabs the hand on her wrist, digging in with her nails slightly. “I’m warning you.” She says as she snarls slightly. The Alpha looks at his hand before scoffing and pulling away. “Whatever.” He grumbles as he walks off, mumbling under his breath, Aurora is sure he’s calling her names that she can’t hear over the music. Ghost goes to follow him but is stopped by John placing a hand on his chest and shaking his head.

Aurora is still slightly fuming when another scent hits her, spearmint and linen, Kyle. She smiles as she looks at Kyle approaching her. As he stops in front of her he pushes his scent out, it calms her as she smiles at him. “Come on, you’ve had a few drinks, lets go get that dance in.” He says as he grabs her hand. Aurora laughs as he leads her to the dance floor. After a few moments of awkwardness, she finally allows herself to fall into rhythm with Kyle. They’re facing each other and dancing, her hands around his neck and his hands on her hips as they move.

After a few minutes, the scent of rain and citrus hits her as she feels a presence behind her and hands on her waist. She glances behind her to see Johnny smiling as he moves in time with her and Kyle’s dancing. The alcohol has taken full effect on the three of them by now as they dance to the music booming through the speakers. A blush creeps up Aurora’s cheeks as she realizes how close the three of them have gotten, with practically no space between her front and Kyle’s and her back and Johnny’s front. They continue to dance as the music plays.

At the booth Ghost and John are sipping their drinks as they watch their Betas and the Omega dance together. Ghost’s eyes are locked on where Johnny’s and Aurora’s bodies touch, with almost no space between them as she grinds back against him. The air around him thickens with the smell of his arousal as he watches them. After a moment John jokingly fans the air. “Jesus Simon, if you keep that up you’ll suffocate everyone here.” John jokes causing Ghost to let out a grunt in response.

The trio on the dance floor continue to dance together, the air around them thickening as arousal and alcohol sets into their system. Aurora lets out a gasp as she feels Johnny place a kiss on her shoulder, moving closer to her neck as he hums against her skin. Her body is buzzing as she wonders if she should stop him if they’re crossing a line, but the alcohol makes her mind slightly fuzzy. Her eyes droop closed as she continues to dance between the two Betas. Her eyes open as she feels a hand on her jaw. She looks into Kyle’s eyes as he smiles at her before slowly leaning down to connect their lips. As their lips connect she feels like her body is on fire. Their lips move together and she’s shocked by how the spearmint in his scent comes through in his taste. Johnny mouths at her neck from behind as Kyle and her breakaway, Johnny’s hand coming up to turn her to face him so he can connect his lips to hers in a kiss just as passionate. When they break apart she feels slightly dizzy from the influx of hormones.

John notices the trio on the dance floor sharing kisses and laughs as he stands up. “time to get them home.” He says. Ghost growls out a yes as he follows John to the dancefloor to help wrangle in the Betas and Omega. John grabs Kyle’s shoulder who lets out a whine as he realizes they’re being made to leave. “Come on pups let's get back to the base,” John calls as he pulls Kyle along. Kyle grabs Aurora’s hand, and she grabs Johnny’s as they walk out of the bar. John shakes his head as he corrals the three into the backseat. Once everyone is inside the SUV John rolls the windows down, the mixture of Beta arousal, Omega arousal, and Alpha arousal becomes so thick it’s almost choking.

Aurora giggles as she leans against Johnny’s shoulder in the backseat with Kyle’s hand in her lap. She glances up and her blood feels like it's on fire as she notices Ghost’s eyes in the rearview mirror staring right at her, his pupils dark and blown making his eyes almost appear black. They arrive back at the base and John parks, ushering everyone inside. He makes sure Aurora goes to her room before he heads to his own, with Kyle following behind him. Johnny and Ghost head to Ghost’s room next door to Aurora’s.

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Masterlist

Tag List-

@no1runawaymilkdad

@Yearninglustfully

@iloveslasher

@chickennn-soupp p

@f-cklife e

@nomercyforthewarrior

@serahlune

@grey-shadow6475

@Vincein2d

@itsyogirllaenaa

@imjustheretofightforlove

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@instantkidpaperslime

@the-willows-whisper

@dragons-flare

@throwing-up-butterflies

@neverending-animelove

MDNI divider by @arlerts-angel

Header by me

[ganondoodle]

okay, bc i have seen this argument alot now (and it also seems to be the view point of aonuma himself..) is that "zelda cant do everything link does bc whats the point then"

and i take personal offense on that bc its a stupid argument (in. my. very. personal. opinion.- not judging people for liking it. its a ME thing)

whats the point? its that its her. its still a different character, different in story, background, personality, but i WANT to play zelda and she can do everything link does, why does she have to be so restricted and be bend over backwards to find some new way to make her 'useful' when link gets to do basically everything no questions asked (the only thing thats hers is like .. sealing power and sacrificial maiden, which i find a little underwhelming to say the least), if theres no point to it why are there always modders that model swap link with someone else, and in that case it has even less impact bc its an artificial model swap with no changes to the story (which can and should still be different when its the vanilla game with a different protagonist... its still a different character), clearly theres joy in just the model being a different one- and that isnt even to mention the story possibilities, since, again, its stil a different character

if we ever (never ... i know who we are talking about here) get to play as ganondorf i want to him to be just as versatile and active as link is, if we got a point and click adventure game for him instead bc 'whats the point' id be disappointed too- you can find any sort of excuse/explanation for zelda to be singled out but the fact remains it tracks with how female characters are often treated, and that hits a very sore spot for me

i guess i am unfortunately one of those annoying people that want to see female characters be treated exactly the same as male characters, possibly bc i am myself afab but identify as agender and have a deeply personal dislike for anything 'traditional' feminine bc i cannot and never will be able to truly live as myself in real life, it influences all of my work, my work is as just as much as my opinion on this, very personal

and in line with my point about modding, i see theres joy in just beign able to play as her even if its like this, i get that, i also get it for the creative aspect (though that mechanic worries me even more for the future bc it really seems to be the path now that -freedom = good, linear anything = bad-) it is a different idea and its not like i cant see that value- im not trying be "right" either, just bc i have that opinion doesnt mean i need everyone to agree, its a very personal thing, if you like it good for you! not for me though, and i think both of that is equally valid

i just personally wish she was allowed to be just like link, fight just like him but be different bc its still her and not him in the end- to be physically/playstyle like jsut like him, but you know ... as her, i dont think shed stop being zelda if she could wield a sword just like him

i dont really know how to get my point/feelings across, i dont want to step too much into personal stuff nor spam people with something that ultimately doesnt interest me alot, im just saddened by it really

(EDIT: bc i forgot to add this on here again; this isnt as much of a problem as it might sound like here, just the main topic i wanted to talk about; why im so uninterested in it is MAINLY bc i dont trust them to write anything interesting/care about lore anymore after totk, im always on the more pessimistic side that thinks its most likely worse than id hope and i know even the past games arent perfect or super interestingly written, but now its much more just a general distrust, together with everything like the price ... im just much less hopeful and cant get excited until i see more of it, like im waiting for the game to get out and reveal that its just as much of a mess and money i regret spending- kind of fear)

[pahtoosh]

In one of your lates work lee said she is a brat.. can I request something based on this?

Like when she gets upset that HE her DADDY called her something mean . How does he earn her trust and forgiveness back? 🥺

airhead

[image ID: a gif of lee bodecker frowning by tumblr user UnEarthlyDust. /.end ID]

masterlist

18+

wc: ~1200 words

warnings: name-calling, lee gets very mad in this, apologies and tears with one reallyyy long hug. gets a little preachy at the end which i normally don’t vibe with but it felt appropriate for this au

a/n: i cannot even BEGIN to tell you how excited i was when i read this request! i tried writing it immediately but the story got away from me several times🤭 anyway today i managed to stay on track! woo! thank you so much, lovely anon. i hope you like this one🫶

pairing: lee bodecker x gn!little!reader

summary: lee takes his frustrations out on you and accidentally calls you something mean

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

“And look! Now Bingo Bunny has a hat to match his brown pants.”

“That’s nice, sweetheart-“

“Oh! I forgot his brown glasses too!” You ran back to your room to pick up yet another tiny accessory to show Lee. Ever since he got home an hour ago, you were running back and forth between his office and your room to show him your new treasures. Each toy had a story that reminded you of another toy which also had a story that connected to a totally different toy.

Lee sighed. He’d seen your entire toy collection by now. This little show-and-tell had started with the toys you bought by yourself today and devolved into a near encyclopedia of your entire collection.

Lee wanted to indulge your need for attention, but he needed to make one last phone call before he was officially done with work for today. Lee found he could never truly relax if he knew he had something to do or somewhere to be.

“I got the glasses! Look at Bingo, Daddy!” You held the bunny out and made him do a little dance.

“He’s lookin’ sharp, sugar.” He beckoned you over and leaned a little closer, then began to speak as if he were telling you a secret. You stopped buzzing for a moment to give Lee all of your focus, he knew just how to excite you and get your attention.

“Why don’t cha make a few more outfits for Bingo and do a fashion show for me later, yeah? Spend a long time on ‘em now. Make sure they’re perfect.”

“Okay, Daddy!” You left your daddy’s office once again, unaware that he was just trying to distract you.

Lee took advantage of this moment to swiftly lock his door and make the phone call. The sooner he could get this over with, the sooner he could be a proper daddy to you.

𓏲 ࣪₊♡

What was supposed to be a ten minute call ended up getting to forty minutes. Lee and Deputy O’Connolly were trying to review the security plan for the county fair, but they kept running into issues. Lee was nearing the end of his rope.

“What kinda idiot put Burke and Smith on entrance security? Those two ain’t nothin’ but trouble. Put ‘em together and add the pretty girls entering the fair into the mix and the line’ll grow ‘till it’s near half a mile!”

“I tell ya, this is the last time I trust anyone else to do shift assignments,” Lee groaned.

The two men continued talking as they made edits to their respective paper copies of the security plan. Then, Lee heard your little hand trying to wiggle open his office door.

“Hold on a second.” Lee covered the receiver and shouted to you, “I’m a bit busy right now!”

You shouted a response, but your voice didn’t project as well as Lee’s and it was muffled by the door.

“I’ll be out later, bunny! Just give me ten more minutes!” Lee thought that was the end of it, but you continued shaking the doorknob and started trying to push the door in.

“For the love of- I’ll call ya back later, Deputy.” Lee hung up the phone and stomped to the door, opening it with a huff.

You were still leaning on the door, but you managed to find your footing after the wood abruptly slipped away from you.

“Oh! Daddy, hi!”

“What is it? Is there a fire?”

“I got Bingo all dressed up! Come look!” You tried pulling Lee’s hand so he’d follow you, but he stayed rooted in his spot.

“Not now, bunny. Daddy’s on a very important phone call.”

“But you said-“

“Well now I’m sayin’ ‘not now’, aren’t I? You know the rules. Ya can’t interrupt Daddy at work unless it’s an emergency and ya sure as hell can’t go around trying to break down every door that stands in your way!”

“I just wanted to show you my Bingo,” you said quietly.

“And I’ll look at him later, but right now I’ve gotta explain to Deputy O’Connolly why I hung up on him ‘cause you’re too much of a damn airhead to know what a locked door means!”

You froze in front of Lee, too stunned to react.

He closed his eyes and ran a hand over his face. “Shit. Baby, I-“

Before Lee could continue, a whimper made its way out of your mouth, breaking you out of your trance and allowing you to run away.

Your daddy watched as you sped into your room and shut the door. He felt pathetic for taking his anger out on his baby. The sheriff wasn’t used to the feeling of white-hot anger and shame rolled into one. These weren’t the actions of the man he prided himself on being.

Lee took a few deep breaths before trying to open your door. You’d taken a page out of his book and locked it this time. You didn’t usually do this. Even when you were upset, you’d leave it unlocked, not even thinking to keep Lee out.

“Bunny, please open the door. Daddy wants to say somethin’ to ya.” Lee leaned his head on the door.

“Daddy gonna say somefin mean ‘gain!” you sobbed.

“No I’m not, I wanna apologize to ya.” Lee sighed. “I’m gonna get the key to your door okay? I need you to hear this.”

“No! No! Don’t wanna hear anything! Just leave me alone!”

Lee’s heart broke at the realization that he had lost your trust. He was your daddy. He was supposed to love you unconditionally and protect you from people who said mean things: people like him.

A tear slid down Lee’s cheek. “Baby, I’m sorry,” he said, his voice cracking slightly. “Daddy’s so fuckin’ sorry he said those mean things to ya. You’re not an airhead. You’re my smart, sweet, beautiful baby. I don’t deserve a perfect little thing like ya.”

Lee leaned against the wall. He was willing to wait as long as it took for you to let him in. To his surprise, not a minute later were you bursting through the door and wrapping your arms around him.

“Hey there, bunny. There’s my sweet baby,” Lee cooed.

You were still crying as you clung onto him. Lee continued soothing you with his words and touch.

“I know, I know.”

“Daddy’s so sorry, baby.”

When the last sobs left your body, Lee apologized again. It wasn’t perfect. Lee was never great with words. But it was soft and real. A gentle whisper in your ear while he hugged you so tight that you felt his tummy rumble with each passing syllable.

“I forgive you, Daddy.”

“You don’t have to, bunny. Daddy was awful to ya. Give me some time to make things right.”

You shook your head against his chest. “I forgive you,” you repeated, stubbornly.

Lee was at a loss for words. How could he ever repay your love? He settled for kissing your forehead and lingering for a moment. He thought about how lucky he was to have you and, for the first time in a while, Lee prayed. He prayed to someone, anyone, that he’d be able to make this up to you.

[breezy141]

heart of glass // pedro pascal masterlist

sum: being known in the world of hollywood there had always consequences, especially cheating rumours.

authors note: IM SORRY I DISAPPEARED. college been eatin me uppp

the picture on your phone caused you to rethink almost everything, it was a picture of your husband at a restaurant with another woman, she had her hand placed on his. she was smiling, as was he.

for a moment, you had no idea what you were looking at. before seeing the photo you were crocheting a new top you had seen multiple times on instagram. crocheting was one of your hobbies, when you weren’t working it was your go to. something your husband also loved.

yet when you were sent the photo from your friend, you stopped everything. after physically feeling your stomach drop you had messaged your friend.

‘what is that?’ your hands shook as you typed out the message. ‘it’s all over twitter, i did some digging it’s just some woman, her name is jasmine. i’m so sorry honey’ you didn’t respond.

do you cry? do you message him? do you ask others what they think?

there was so much going through your mind, you got up from the chair you had been cozied up on. making your way to the bedroom.

you zoomed into the photo, looking for any signs of editing. there was none.

here came the tears, they showed no mercy in streaming down your cheeks. you turned off your phone and threw it somewhere on the bed, you began pacing the room.

you never expected your husband, pedro pascal, to ever cheat on you. he’s just not like that. why would he do that? is it my fault? is there something i could have done? these were the questions running through your mind right now.

almost perfectly, the front door opened. you knew exactly who it was so you grabbed the phone and rushed towards the door.

“hey sweethea-” he cut himself off “why are you crying?” he went to hug you but you pushed his arms away.

“what is this?” you asked with a shaky breath, showing him the picture.

he studied the photo, even reading out the caption on the post. “actor pedro pascal seen in a restaurant with a new mysterious woman” he sighed loudly.

you looked at him with red and blurry eyes “tell me what’s going on” you said flatly.

“baby, this picture is from years ago. before i even knew you, if you don’t believe me, look here” he came by your side “see? no facial hair, plus that’s jasmine. i cut her off years ago, for a couple reasons”

the tears stopped but part of you didn’t believe him. he could tell.

“darling, i promise. id never cheat on you, i love you. i don’t need anyone else but you. i swear, this is actually from like what, 2016? i don’t know why its getting brought up now, but this shit happens all the time to people with a large following. it’s just the internet being annoying as always”

you bit your lip as you thought, he’s right. this stuff happens all the time. he loves you to much.

nodding you looked at the ground “i’m sorry” you managed to whimper out “aye, don’t be sorry hermosa, it’s one of them things that we will have to, now, learn how to avoid and address it. it’s not your fault your upset, i understand you and your feelings.”

“can i have a hug?” you whispered, that’s all you wanted to do right now. have his arms wrapped around his body. he let out a soft giggle and immediately pulled you into his arms.

“i’m still sorry though, i should have known pedro. it’s what happens now” you felt him shake his head “no sweetheart, you have every right to feel upset. especially when there’s pictures floating around” you pulled back and wiped your tears with the sleeve of your jumper.

“thank you” you let out a small laugh, what on earth was you thinking? him cheating? never.

“no problemo” he leaned down to kiss your temple “so, what do you say about having take out tonight? my treat” you smiled at him softly.

“as if i’d say no” he let out a small chuckle.

[mrradmccoolman]

hello everyone...today...we have a very special post...

welcome again to

ELLIOTT'S ANDERPERRY SONG ANALYSIS

today is an Unfortunate day...rip neil perry you would have loved being a hater online 😔

all jokes aside, i wanted to do sometbing unique to commemorate today, but i haven't finished any of the fics im working on and art block has been kicking my ass for the past three years, so i thought instead, id do a neil perry focused analysis of one of my favorite songs of all time. sooo, i present

All I Need by Radiohead

this song has been beloved by me for a few years, now, but it was only recently that i saw it used in a neil perry centric dps edit and it. broke. me. this song is so incredibly insanely beautiful for so many reasons, simply by the way it's composed, but with neil?? OTHERWORLDLY. if you haven't heard it, listen to it. for the best experience, id recommend listening to it while you read this:)

"i'm in the next act, waiting in the wings" for obvious reasons, this lyric connects to neil in several ways. this not only alludes to his dreams as an actor, and the night of the play, but also where i believe his mental state is all throughout the night and leading up to it. before the play, there's a scene where neil talks to keating to try and express his terror of explaining himself to his father, and ultimately, he feels even more alone as keating doesn't quite understand what he means. he's in the "next act", apart from everyone else. it's also indicative of his mental state towards the end of the night. i remember reading something that said you actually make decisions a split second before your mind catches up to your choice. on top of that, contemplating committing suicide-- it's an out of body experience. neil is so removed from everything around him that his body is only waiting to join his mind under the lights of center stage.

"i'm an animal trapped in your hot car" repeatedly, neil describes feeling as if he is trapped in his life, both by his father and the expectations set before him. he is unable to express himself, or do the things that give him joy. animals that overheat due to being left in cars are not only entirely helpless in their predicament, but also reliant on somebody noticing them to survive. leaving an animal in that situation implies a lack or care/attention, being so negligent as to leave your animal trapped in what is virtually an oven. neil is in the same situation. his father doesn't even see him gasping for air, or chooses not to.

"i am all the days that you choose to ignore" neil's father and the people around him are not entirely clueless. they clearly understand, at least to some degree, that neil is unhappy. however, they choose to turn a blind eye to it. his mother is possibly the biggest perpetrator of this. she's complicit in mr. perry's abuse, as she doesn't do anything to stop it. now it is important to note that as a woman, the amount of power she actually had in this situation was very little, and the situation she was in was extremely complicated. for that, it's needed to give her some grace. even so, she still never reached out to neil or stood up for him. it wasn't because she didn't love him; in fact, both of his parents' actions were out of love for neil. they just didn't know how to love a neil who wasn't the version they'd imagined him to be.

"you are all i need" i personally view this as neil thinking this to himself about multiple things: todd, the dead poets, acting, keating, etc...i say this because sometimes, when you are incredibly depressed, it can be easy to convince yourself that if you just get this one thing everything will be better. especially when you don't really understand depression, and so your only idea to help yourself is to reach for something to fix the feelings you have. if i only get this, surely ill be happy again. surely ill be normal again. similarly, this reflects how reaching out and providing neil support could have changed the outcome of his decision, and finally, the line represents the idea of suicide as a final solution. it's all he needs to get away, to gain control.

"i'm in the middle of your picture, lying in the reeds" in the actual song, this is a possible reference to a painting of ophelia from hamlet (also written by shakespeare, the same one who wrote a midsummer night's dream, interestingly enough). i won't go into much detail about her story as i don't have the time for it here, nor have i gotten the chance to read it extensively-- but after reading a paper analyzing her character, she parallels neil in many ways. as a woman, she is frequently and consistently ignored and belittled. her life is controlled by those around her and their expectations for her, and when she finally tries to speak up and assert herself to others, she is labeled as crazy. this cultimates in her death by drowning, which, albeit never explicitly stated, is widely considered a suicide. to compare neil to ophelia would not be far off.

"i am a moth who just wants to share your light" for one, moths are generally considered pests. they are attracted to light because they use the light of the moon and stars to orient themselves, and change where they are flying to keep the light above them. when under artificial light, they get confused and fly in circles. a moth, who's natural instinct to move beneath the glow of the night sky has been smothered again and again would of course gravitate to artificial light. when it comes to neil, this means many things. his 'moon', or what comes naturally to him/who he truly is, is blocked out again and again by the people around him. in this sense, the artificial light could represent his manufactured future as a doctor, forced upon him by his father. he tries to follow the path set out for him, but is left confused and disoriented, feeling like he's going nowhere, flying in desperate circles while nothing changes. alternatively, the artificial light could represent the dead poets and todd. they are the only light he can find in his increasingly dark world. and when that light is snuffed out, he has nowhere else to go.

"i'm just an insect trying to get out of the night" going back to the pest metaphor-- not only does neil feel small and helpless like an insect, but perhaps also unloved and disgusting to those around him. depression warps your sense of self immensely, and can lead to intense self hatred. neil feels so pathetically miniscule beneath everything happening to him that he sees himself as a bug trying to escape the night, or, his life. i imagine this as an internal self monologue; by committing suicide, he is doing the last thing he can think of to escape.

"it's all wrong, it's all wrong, it's all wrong..." after a devastatingly beautiful instrumental, the song comes back in with this soft mantra. neil's thoughts are buzzing through his ears until he can't hear anything else. he is entirely disconnected from the world around him. everything is wrong, everything is over, and there's nothing he can do. i think of him in the silent car ride home with his father, silently but frantically trying to think of any way out of what's about to happen. maybe he even thinks of something, before along with everything else, that idea is crushed by his father's ultimatum. maybe his mind finally quiets down, at the end. maybe it doesn't.

"it's alright, it's alright, it's alright..." not only is this lyric the opposite of the one previous, but it also has a double meaning. it is not only alright, but all right. directly opposing what was said before, we are told that everything is okay, and even more than that, it is right. it is how it should be, maybe even how it was meant to be all along. how it was always destined to be. neil didn't do what he did to hurt anyone. in fact, he did what he did because in seeing it as the only option, he convinced himself it was the right one; that by taking himself out of the equation, he was doing what he had to. on top of this, he wants everyone to be okay. his self-hatred mixes with his love for his friends and family. he truly believes they'll be better off without them, and he wants them to be.

as always, let me know your thoughts.

<- prev | next ->

[the-authoress-writes]

Safe and Sound

Or: It’s the Great Karmic Bitchslap, Jake Seresin!

Prologue

Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw x Seresin OC

Safe and Sound Masterlist

Synopsis: After leaving her violent and abusive husband, Anastasia Seresin has known nothing but fear for months.

Always looking over her shoulder, wondering if he’s found her and their son, Luke, again.

With nowhere left to go, she turns to her younger twin brother, Jake, hoping that finally, she’ll have fled far enough.

But when she meets Bradley Bradshaw, her world is turned upside down, and she’s left wondering…

Will she have the courage to love again, and to let herself be loved?

Series Warnings: Domestic violence and abuse, sexual abuse, PTSD, warnings will be updated as the series progresses.

This is a story dealing with very serious and sensitive topics.

Please be careful, and protect your own peace.

Chapter Warnings: Military inaccuracies 🤣

Author’s Note: This story is one that is special to me; this was one of the first Top Gun stories I came up with, soon after I watched TG:M.

I’ve been keeping this to myself, because this is going to be intense and hard, but I know that if I don’t put this out there, I’ll never finish it.

So here we go.

Title is from the Taylor Swift/Joy Williams & John Paul White song of the same name.

Not breaking my habit of naming my stories after songs, it seems!

Jake groaned as he blindly groped around his bedside table for his phone which was ringing its alarm.

He felt like he’d just fallen asleep—he’d only drank his limit at The Hard Deck, the night before, but it felt like he’d only gotten an hour of sleep.

Phone in hand, he squinted at the screen, his sleep-addled mind not quite comprehending what he was seeing.

It actually was about an hour since he fell asleep, and his phone was ringing not because of his 5:45 AM alarm, but because of a call from base gate security.

“Lieutenant Seresin speaking,” he rasped, pressing the phone to his ear.

“I’m very sorry to wake you, Lieutenant, but I have a kid and woman here at the gate asking me to let them in, she says they need to get to your house,” the guard replied.

Jake frowned. “Who are they?

Did you get their names?”

“The young man has no ID on him, but the woman’s driver’s license says Anastasia Malloy.”

Jake instantly shot up in bed, even though the action left him a little dizzy. “Let them in—that’s my sister and nephew.”

A minute or two later, he was standing outside his base housing, waiting.

Soon, the gate security car drove up with an ancient sedan in its wake.

The sedan parked, and the driver stepped out.

He knew it had to be his sister, but nothing in the way the woman who was walking towards him reminded him of the strong, capable spitfire he knew.

She stopped about five feet away from him before she looked up, tear tracks making shining trails down her cheek. “I’m sorry,” she breathed, voice broken, “I didn’t know where else to go.”

“Oh, Stacia,” Jake immediately opened his arms to his older twin sister.

To be continued…

Next Part

I know this section is so short, but the first chapter will be published tomorrow, I am just editing it today.

I’m very excited.

My subtitle for this story was the working title this story was under until I came up with “Safe and Sound” as the actual title.

It’s derived from the classic Peanuts television special, “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown”.

I thought about not putting it, but giving Jake the biggest karmic bitchslap was the entire reason I came up with the plot, so I’m putting it.

Stacia (pronounced StAH-shuh) is the Polish nickname for Anastasia, which I use here because I headcanon that Jake has Polish ancestry, like his actor, Glen Powell’s supposed ancestry, so here, the Seresin twins have Polish ancestry and nicknames.

With more Polish details to come! 😂

Let’s just ignore the military inaccuracies, shall we?

*In Edna Mode voice* It’s for the ahhhhht, dahhling.

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[itsdawnforyou]

So, onto Once, Upon time (flux episode 3 :D)

I love how in the previously thirteen says "WUTS THE FLUX?!" With this heavy accent its a little bit funny and I love it so so much please never change (also her look just as swarm snaps his fingers is absolutely heart breaking someone needs to give jodie an award just for that)

"Bel's story" ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I WANNA SEE YAZ!!

Right right okay dalek sector. Bel looks cute, Im hoping id like her! Love her hairstyle.

Oooo cool visuals! The day turning into night like the flick of a switch?! That was amazing. Incredible editing too. Im guessing the blue things are swarms? Like swarm and azure but.. their babies? Citizens? Idk what to call them.

"Nothing is going to stop me from getting to you" AWEEEEEE

Okay okay okay I love this bit where the doctor speaks fast while time is very very slow, because we know she can do that, sort of speed up her brains or slow down time. Anyways I have no idea how she managed to put dan and her on the pedestals? Ohhhh she jumped onto the platform.

Ohhh they are stuck in a sort of illusion or different time. Thats strange. Thats weird. I like it!

OH THAT NEW COATTTTT oh it looks SO GOOD!!!

Also they are doing the exact same thing they were going to be doing, only in a definetly un-doctor-like fashion. But still, resetting time is what they need. Im guessing its a previous mission they are reliving, like living inside memories?

Also hello dan! And... claire? I think I remembered her name! (Edit: no, I did not, her name is diane, im so so bad with names yall) I didnt notice she didnt have one arm in none of the times we've seen her, oops? 😅

Oooooo the quick change to night I LOVE IT

DOCTOR IN THE COP OUTFIT I love it. Also satsumas making a comeback, quick nod to 10 there I seeya.

"Like theres something trying to keep me out" really think they should have smooched right there. But, bigger problems!

"Dont mind me, trying not to be distracting" says 13 floating in the space half seethrough like a ghost.

Also did anyone else notice that the doctor was only solid in yaz's timestream? Wonder if its because they know each-other longer (so like they got something similar about them bc they were on the same adventures before) or if its like... emotional?

Right right right okay grand serpent Im picking up what you are putting down, Im getting it! Writing it down dont worry!

I LOVE THE NEW COAT WAAAAA its so so so good!! The navy blue??? The edging being a different color??? Did they made a behind the scenes video about this coat?! Please tell me they did because I am so looking forward to watching it

SHE CALLED DAN A DOG! IS DAN KARVANISTA?! like, a place holder for karvanista. Or another lupari. Oh my goodness.

"Ill fix it, just dont disappear!" I dont think he got a choice, doc!

Is bel another doctor memory? Becayse the outfit, the patterning of the blue with gold we've seen in haunting of villa diodati, the doctor wore a blazer with the same one. Not sure if exact but..

Okay okay but listen I understand that its like "oh my god weeping angels in yaz's time stream oh no thats horrible" but also like.. "who's the sexy girl with the nimble fingers" and then yaz says "no one is ever going to look at you and think that and the doctor appears and im- yaz. Yaz honeyyyy. Yasmin khan. I get you but also can you be anymore obvious, babes??

Also, didnt need that little exposition on "oh no im being pulled back to atropos in the past!" But it is something the doctor would think/talk to themselves so it gets a pass.

Her jaunty little walk??? Save me fugitive!13, save meeeee

ERASURE OF IDENTITY BEING SAID BY FUGITIVE DOCTOR IS CRAZYYYYYY

Oh Dan is 1000% representing a lupari/karvanista. Not sure bout yaz or vin tho.

Aaand based on bel's story im guessing everyone got converted from earth. Yay. :/

AWWWW I want a tigmi too :'(

I like grand serpent because he knows how to play the system. He's smart. As a person I fucking hate him tho. As a character? Pretty good so far!

Is bel looking for vinder? That would make sense.

Oh. Can someone kick that old woman in the face please thanks?

Also the desperation from the doctor to know more about themselves, to understand, to figure it out is immesurable and its such a good new angle of the character!

"Does everything have to be a discussion?" oi! Be nicer to yaz you time-idiot! Just because youre frusturated and being an idiot doesnt mean you get to hurt others! Someone bring me a bonking stick!!

[Gif ID: a meme depicting a shiba inu hitting another shiba inu on the head with a wodden baseball bat, with the word "bonk" in bold]

Big edit: I MISSED THE ENTIRE ENDING 5 MINUTES OF THE EPISODE AND ONLY REALISED A DAY LATER WHEM STARTING THE NEXT ONE WHOOOPS! So heres my reaction to those:

WAHHH she is looking for vinder! Im smart! Yay! Also also SHE'S PREGNANT! Yippee!!

Thats really nice. I love this little plot we got with the both of them.

UH OH THATS AN ANGEL THATS AN ENTIRE ANGEL, IN THE TARDIS. THE ANGELS HAVE THE PHONE BOX. ITS DRIVING THE TARDI- how do they know hoe to drive a tardis? Who the hell taught them? Eh?? Also- the tardis is alive, how is the angel not frozen in place?! The tardis, a living being, is technically always looking inside itself, right?! So why is the angel moving??!!

[lovelycleon]

Do you think we'll get new Cleon content soon? I'm feeling pretty confident after re2r, id and di which gave us more content than ever, and how Leon, Claire, Jill and Leon are being promoted as a team.

Also, do you think Cleon fandom is growing because of this?

Hello there 🥰

To be honest, cleon fandom has always been kind of big because of the success of the original RE2, the S.D. Perry books, and Capcom continuing to retell the same story over the years.

But, with RE6 and REV2, things started to slow down for us and the fandom faded away a bit.

RE2 remake kind of woke up the old fans and brought new ones to the ship, which is why things seem a lot busier with fanfics and fanarts, edits, etc, nowadays.

And all the content after that really spoiled us, didn't it?

In the past, when I saw something new about cleon, DSC for example, I remember jokingly saying "Okay now I'll have to wait another 8 years for Capcom to remember cleon again and do another project with them." 😂

But then RE2 remake happened, and Infinite Darkness, and Death Island... in such a short space of time!!

And damn, it feels so good to have content about our favorite ship to talk about, doesn't it? ✨

Now let me tell you:

No one has forced Capcom to give us more cleon lately. No one has put a gun to the devs' heads and forced them to make Leon and Claire flirt at the RPD gate. No one has demanded any of the cleon scenes in Infinite Darkness and Death Island.

The devs and producers, Capcom itself, came up with that ideas. They are the ones who are feeding us.

I mean... I don't think they would write the ending of Infinite Darkness like that just because...

They have something planned for them and left Leon and Claire's story and relationship hanging for a reason.

So we'll see how they're going to follow this up sooner or later. I'm sure of it.

Now I imagine the next games will be the remakes of Code Veronica and RE5, where Leon is barely mentioned and Claire meets someone else. So I don't have much hope for cleon content on that front.

BUT again: nothing stop them from making another CGI project, or a new spin-off game, or even RE9 with cleon involved or in the spotlight.

With Capcom we never know. Anything is possible.