#or is that something that people realize sort of in hindsight later?

[psychronia]

I've been rewatching Avatar: The Last Airbender because why not and I'm losing my mind at Zuko's proper introduction. I don't know if it's hindsight, shifting characterizations, or just me not watching this in a long time, but this was amazing.

We start off showing he's an impatient and very angry kid. Reasonable, and the sort of flaw we might expect to see in a villain. Kinda funny that he expects to go up against an adult and fully 4-Element realized Avatar, but the kid is desperate and Iroh clearly expects his nephew to get the banishment-denial kicked out of him.

What's important here, though, is Zuko's introduction to the Southern Water Tribe.

Here, we have a very intimidating entrance where his entire ship just sails through the ice right up to the village's front door. It's quite ominous and this is our first proper introduction to how the Fire Nation interacts with a foreign people.

Sokka charges, I'm assuming fully prepared to die, and Zuko casually knocks him out of the way. Okay, so clearly the Water Tribe are entirely outgunned.

He asks "Where are you hiding him?" and the people of the Water Tribe go silent. I assume they're either just too scared to talk or actually protecting Aang.

Whatever the case, it's important to note that the Southern Water Tribe know the terror the Fire Nation can inflict. We have a whole episode dedicated to tracking down a division of raiders. Sokka was able to not only identify the ash-mixed snow as signs of an incoming attack, but estimate how many ships the amount of ash measures to. These are a people who have experience being terrorized and are probably expecting something terrible to happen.

And then, after they don't answer, Zuko grabs Gran-Gran. There was a horror sting to it, and everything the tribe knows about the Fire Nation suggests that Zuko is about to threaten or straight up hurt her to get answers. Classic "terrorize the elderly" bad guy stuff.

And then...

He goes "He's (the Avatar) be about this age and is a master of all four elements!?" and lets her go.

And all of a sudden, the tension that was built up is shattered as Zuko went "I know, I'll give them a reference for the person I'm looking for because clearly they're confused and I wasn't specific enough."

This went from a show of villainy to a show of Zuko being totally socially awkward and misreading the situation entirely. Not helping is that when he does try to menace them a moment later, his fire is slow and angled quite safely.

It still worked on the Water Tribe because they're understandably scared, but all I could think of is that this was the equivalent of a playground bully trying to make someone flinch with that fake-out lunge thing.

Because the fact-and something we'll come to learn-is that Zuko is TERRIBLE at being a Fire Nation oppressor. He's capable of doing morally dubious things and is a competent fighter. But he's lousy at terrorizing people and cruelty-that's kind of the point of his banishment.

And while we can see the story paint this picture of Zuko's true character as the story goes on with hints of good and conflicting loyalties, here we get to see just how bad he is at being "the bad guys".

[eyesofshinigami]

Brave

Rating: G

CW: None

Tags: Love confessions, fluff, so much schmoop

Prompt: From @sidekick-hero "Love is what makes you brave"

WC: 1812

Written for @steddielovemonth Day 7

Steve, admittedly, has done a lot of really stupid things in the name of love.

He hid so much of himself, what he liked, and who he wanted to be to make his parents love him. He was a perfect child, always seen but never heard, the perfect little trophy for his parents to put on display. He thought that was love for a long time. That it was performative, transactional. If he just did this one thing, surely they would love him, right?

Then, Steve forced himself to fit into a mold. He slid on a mask, played a part that was really easy to hide behind. People like Tommy and Carole seemed to love him when he was mean, when he looked down his nose at people they deemed unworthy of their attention. They would laugh and clap him on the back and keep him close, even if he knew deep down that it made him a little sick. And for some reason he still can’t fathom, it made other people love him too. Well, that superficial, surface kind of love where he was still seen as an object, an achievable goal. Be friends with King Steve and you’ll get something out of.

Transactional.

It wasn’t until Nancy that Steve really began to understand what love really was. He threw his whole self into loving her. In hindsight, maybe it wasn’t the smartest idea to go all in on something that he still didn’t really have a grasp on, but for the first time, it felt like he was being loved for love’s sake.

Until it wasn’t. Until Jonathon. Until the house. Until the world quite literally turned upside down.

Even with that falling apart, it opened up a whole new world of love for Steve. A new understanding to just what the word meant, the weight behind it when it really matters.

Love is protecting those that matter most. Love is staring down the mouth of a hell creature and still swinging even though your arms feel like jelly. Love is redirecting punches so that they don’t have to hurt. Love is diving into a murky lake into hell to help fix what someone else broke. Love is late night drives when you can’t sleep and the nightmares are too much. Love is admitting that maybe, just maybe, love looks a little different than what you expected it to.

Love is being brave.

All of these lessons, all of these people in his life that showed him that love can be so many things, if only you’re willing to give as much as take.

Which is why Steve makes a decision. It might be a bad one, but he’s learned that sometimes love means having to jump into the fray and trusting that they’ll catch you. He knows, deep down, that someone will, even if it’s not the person he really wants to.

“I’m going to do it. Tonight,” Steve declares that evening as he’s shelving movies. He’s working the late shift with Robin, but has plans to hang out with Eddie later. The very thought of it makes him flush, with happiness and nervousness in equal measure. “I’m going to tell him how I feel.”

It was a slow sort of descent, realizing that he loved Eddie. It started with their talk in the woods of the Upside Down, to pulling Eddie’s broken body out of that awful place, to helping him heal once they realized he might actually pull through. He was drawn to Eddie, drinking him in whenever they were together. He loved when Eddie was loud, or when Eddie was quiet, settled. The fact that Eddie trusted him with the different facets of himself blew Steve away. And Eddie listened when he talked. He listened when Steve talked about sports, or his newfound interest in carpentry thanks to helping Hopper fix up the cabin. He listened when Steve couldn’t sleep, or when Steve got scared about what the future was going to bring, now that it felt like maybe they could actually move on from the nightmare that is Hawkins, Indiana. Little by little, it made Steve realize that Eddie made him happy and maybe a little stupid. The good kind of stupid, the happy kind.

Robin turns to look at him, smiling softly. It’s her soft sort of smile, the one she only saves for him when he’s actually doing something for himself. “Good on you, bud. You’ve only been pining for him for months now.”

“You’ll have a pint of ice cream at the ready in case this goes south?”

“Sure, but I doubt you’ll have to worry,” she replies, rolling her eyes. “Now go find something to do before you pop out of your skin. I can see you sweating from here.”

He lasts about another twenty minutes before she lets out a gusty sigh. “Okay, you’re starting to make me nervous. It’s dead in here, why don’t you just leave and head over there now?”

Steve wants to argue. It’s on the tip of his tongue, but she’s right. If he waits any longer, he might just vibrate right through the floor. Once upon a time, he was good at this, smooth and suave and so fucking fake. It was easy to talk to people he didn’t care about, but this? This thing with Eddie?

It matters a lot.

“Okay, okay. Sheesh. I know when I’m not wanted,” he jokes, clocking out and heading out the door.

“Go get your man, Harrington! I expect non-explicit details in the morning!”

He waves her off and gets into his car. The drive takes about fifteen minutes, heading to the little house that Wayne and Eddie got as compensation for their trailer being confiscated for study. Steve’s just glad that Eddie doesn’t have to live in the reminder of where everything went down.

He parks his car and sits for a long, long moment, fingers tight around the wheel and his breath coming in harsh pants. He can do this. He can do this. He can be brave.

“Steve? What are you doing out here? I thought you had work,” Eddie calls from the porch. He must have been sitting out here longer than he thought if Eddie had come to find him.

Steve takes one more big breath before he heaves himself out of the car. “I did, but Rob sent me home. It was dead and she said I was bothering her.” He smiles, trying to ease the angry butterflies he feels building in his stomach. “You good with me coming now? I guess I should have called.”

Eddie smiles, wide enough his dimples pop and Steve wants to feel them under his thumb. “Of course, Stevie. I’m still working on dinner, but you can keep me company.”

Steve eagerly follows him inside, feeling himself relax as he steps through the door. The place is always a little cluttered, a little messy; Steve loves it because it looks like people actually live here. The fact that he’s welcomed into this space makes him feel a little warm and gooey inside. “Thanks, man. What’s on the menu?” He’s babbling, he knows he’s babbling, but he can’t help it.

Eddie gives him a look but answers, “Just some spaghetti. Nothing fancy.” He heads to the stove and starts stirring a pot, the smell of it hitting Steve full force. “You okay? You seem a little off.”

He wants to brush it off, pretend it’s nothing. It would be so easy and he knows Eddie would let him. They’ve learned each other’s tells, when it’s time to push and when it’s time to leave shit alone. Just one more thing that Steve loves about Eddie.

So, no. He needs to say it. For himself, to let go of this thing that he’d been trying to hide for fear of it being yet another stupid thing he does for love. But his love for Eddie could never be that, even if Eddie says no. Eddie will still be his friend, will still love him, even if that love doesn’t look the way Steve wants. He doesn’t expect anything, doesn’t want more than Eddie can give him.

“Uh, well… actually, there’s something I want to talk to you about?”

Eddie nods and sets the spoon down, during the fire down as he turns to face Steve. “I’m all ears, Stevie.”

Steve nods, taking a deep, shaky breath. He can be brave. “Okay, so. Can you… let me just say it? Don’t say anything until I’m done, okay?” At Eddie’s nod, he continues, “Um, all right. So. Uh. Eddie… I’m… I like you. I like you a lot. Actually, I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you.” Eddie’s mouth drops and Steve has to look away, before his heart beats out of his chest and he gets sick from the way his stomach churns. “It took me a while to realize it, but I am. I just… I love you. I love everything about you. Even the weird, shitty parts that I know you don’t like, but they’re part of you, right? And I don’t… I don’t expect you to feel the same, or want me back. It would be great if you did, but like… it’s not why I told you? I told you because you deserve to know. To know that someone loves you because I can’t imagine not loving you anymore.”

There. It’s out there. Steve swallows around the lump in his throat and tries not to count the seconds as they pass. It feels like they’re beating against his ribcage, in time with his pounding heart.

Suddenly, there’s a hand cupping his cheek, gently turning his head until he’s looking at Eddie. The look on the other man’s face is soft, his eyes sparkling and the curve of his mouth small but so so kissable. “Stevie… baby…” The words are like a gut-punch, making Steve weak in the knees. “How could I not love you back, hmm?” Eddie chuckles, his thumb caressing the skin of Steve’s cheek. “Always the brave one of the two of us, aren’t you? I didn’t want to say anything because this… I didn’t want to lose this. If I was wrong, you know?”

“Me too,” Steve whispers. He’s afraid to break the bubble that’s surrounding them, like if he speaks too loud it will break and he’ll realize this was all just a dream or something. “Eddie…”

Eddie doesn’t say anything, he just pulls Steve in until they’re kissing, mouths moving against each other softly as they press closer.

It’s warm. It’s sweet. It feels like coming home.

Something settles in him as they kiss, as they touch and move together in this new way. He wants to cry. He wants to laugh. He feels like he could fly.

[oflights]

wip snip 5.1

i've been tagged a bunch of times over the past few weeks to post wip snips and only had the last few chapters of star splitter to post, so i bailed. i finally have something new to preview!! have a bit of the gilmore girls fic, still in progress. 🥰

Just about 8 years ago, the bell over the doorframe jingled violently as Draco Malfoy threw the door open and swept in, already talking. “Bloody hell, that snow is abominable,” he was saying. He hefted a bundled, starfish-shaped form that would turn out to be a toddler by his hip, a pram scooting behind them and leaving a wet trail on Harry’s floor. With a flick of his wrist, the pram had folded up and nestled in the corner of the dining area, dripping there ignored, as Draco descended upon the counter much the same as he did almost every day.

“You, there—please tell me this place has something warm to—” And then Draco froze, because back then he had not done this every day; this was the first time, and more specifically the first time he had seen Harry Potter in the flesh since their eighth year of Hogwarts.

“Malfoy,” Harry had said, eyeing the puffy bundle warily. He didn’t know it was a toddler then; every bit of Scorpius was covered up and radiating Warming Charms. In hindsight, he was probably sweating, but Harry was to later learn that Scorpius had been a quite agreeable child until he learned to read—an apparent mistake that Draco despairs of having made a few times a week—and he made no complaints even dropped onto a stool as he was, propped up against his father.

“What are you doing here?” Draco, then Malfoy, had demanded. He looked utterly thrown and somehow offended, as if Harry’s existence in his own place of business was a grave insult to him.

“This is my place,” Harry said, and then as an instinctive response to Draco’s disbelieving scoff, he added, “I own it.” He’d hoped Draco would pick up on the implied threat—don’t be an arse or I’ll kick you out.

...

“This place is called Al’s,” Draco said accusingly. “You’re not Al.”

“Nope, I’m not. I’m Harry.” When Draco stared at him, Harry clarified, “Harry Potter.”

“I know you’re—who is Al, then?” Draco went pale beneath his winter flush. “Wait. Did you name this place after—Dumbledore?” He whispered the name as if ashamed, and Harry supposed that was about right, though it garnered him little sympathy.

Harry let that dread sit on Draco’s face for a few moments before he said, “No, it was already called Al’s when I bought it. Didn’t feel like changing the name.” He had changed everything else about it, though, spending one exhausting summer converting it from a pub no one really liked to go to anymore to a greasy spoon that people liked much more.

...

Harry had not opened this place and kept it open so he could be insulted and bullied; he was long past the time in his life when he would accept that, especially from the likes of Draco Malfoy. And so he opened his mouth once again to tell Draco to get out—ignoring all the questions he had for him, like what he was doing in this town, out in the snowstorm, carrying some sort of doll, maybe?

Before he could say so, and even before Draco could interrupt, the doll made a noise that made Harry startle and drop the rag he’d been wiping down the counter with. The doll made another noise, reached out, and grabbed the rag.

“Mine!” the doll said, lifting its head until a nose poked out of its bundling. That was when Harry realized that what Draco had set down on the stool was a toddler.

“Not yours,” Draco said as Harry tried to process this. “Let it go, Scorpius, it’s disgusting!”

“Oh,” said Scorpius, in a very wobbly sort of voice. His head tipped up so much that Harry could now see wide eyes, which were a complex hazel shade that made him really start to wonder what Draco was doing with a toddler. Said eyes were glistening slightly, and to accompany the look, Scorpius said, “Okay,” in the saddest little voice Harry had ever heard. He dropped the rag back on the counter; he could barely move his arm in his heavy, puffy coat.

“He can have it,” Harry said quickly; he grabbed up the rag and tried to hand it back, unable to deal with that stricken face.

[mussymuncher]

Reviewing past updates

Since the newest Welcome home update (which is just- ahhhhhh so wonderful check it out if you haven't already) and the newest events taking place, I've been combing through some of the older content to analyze it with the hindsight we now have. Mainly Frank and Eddie's relationship and the possible implications of it being hidden. Remember everything I say is just speculation and all in good fun. Feel free to make your own theories!

SPOILERS FOR NEW WELCOME HOME UPDATE AHEAD

Alright so we are all very aware of what happened in the hidden video, particularly to Eddie, who seems to have dissociated and opened his eyes about the reality of the world around him. Do we know if he's aware of specific details? No, it seems for now that he is realizing something is very wrong with the neighborhood and it scares him. This causes him to completely dissociate and become completely unresponsive to everybody except Frank (keep that in mind for later).

With the update, we also get more information about his role in the neighborhood, or should I say the lack of his role. He is very clearly being isolated from the community, and either purposeful or not it seems as though everyone is excluding him. I lean towards it being accidental exclusion, especially in regard to Frank since his ending dialogue towards Eddie in the hidden video implies that he cares very deeply about Eddie and I could not wrap my head around the idea that he would intentionally exclude Eddie unless he had ulterior motives (again keep in mind for later). There's a bunch of theorizing going on about why Eddie in particular is being excluded, the most popular one I've seen being that his relationship with Frank is too outwardly queer for the showrunners or the welcome home restoration teams liking. And while this does fall in line with the previously stated themes of welcome home (Clown had said that homophobia would be a theme) I'm not so quick to jump to the assumption that Eddie is being excluded just because he's a queer character.

Take a look at this artwork, I'm aware we shouldn't take non-canon artworks into theorizing but this is more to point out something I'm not seeing a lot of people mentioning. There are so many queer characters in the neighborhood. From left to right it seems that Eddie is queer, Julie is genderfluid, Poppy is trans and lesbian, and Frank is non-binary and queer. And this is just four of the characters! I wouldn't call it crazy to assume that more of the neighbors are queer as well. So why target Eddie specifically for being queer if there are so many other queer characters? At first, I thought it must be because he's in a canonical queer relationship, and coincidentally his partner is also being pushed into a love interest role with Julie. But what is Eddie doing that is interfering with Julie and Frank's assigned relationship? Honestly nothing.

I could make the argument that Eddie was being pushed out if he was disrupting or otherwise messing with Julie and Frank's "romance" in some way but from what I see, Eddie has done nothing that would imply he and Frank are romantically involved unless someone was specifically looking for it.

Here is where I look into past updates and audio transcripts to point out minor instances when Frank and Eddie are implied to be a couple. Keep in mind a lot of this speculation is done with the thought that Eddie and Frank are in a romantic relationship but are keeping it hidden.

First, let's look at Eddie's Big Lift and how Frank and Eddie interact with each other there. So Eddie having Eddie shenanigans is roped into a sort of challenge by Julie to see if he can lift the entire neighborhood. You can pretty much see how Eddie is pretty hesitant to pick anybody up, sort of just going along with it without any enthusiasm. He's very much pushed into it and does it just because other's ask him to (very in line with his character) Check out his reaction to picking up Julie and Sally:

(Julie)

EDDIE: Mail call! I’ve got mail here fo-- oh no

JULIE: [Overlapping him, running off in his direction] EDDIE, EDDIE, EDDIE, CATCH ME! QUICK! CATCH ME!

[Sound of packages hitting the ground and Eddie going “oof!” as he catches Julie.]

JULIE: TA-DAA!! See? See??

(Sally)

SALLY: Well, I’m not convinced. [commanding; Director Mode] Mail-maaan~! Mailman! Center stage, man!

EDDIE: Uh, yes, ma’am--

SALLY: [Snapping her fingers] Up, man! Up! Lift! Higher now-- with your knees-- all the way up-- there!!

EDDIE: [Overlapping with Sally’s directing] What, oh, uh-- yes ma’am!-- [Strained, lifting] oof-- here we go-- uhf-- alrighty-- hup!

Now look at his reaction when Julie asks him to pick up Frank:

JULIE: FRANK NEXT! FRANK NEXT!!

EDDIE: [chipper, Man On The Job] All right then!

FRANK: Don’t you dare.

EDDIE: [Tone exactly the same, backing off] Wouldn’t dream of it!

Chipper. It's honestly super cool reading the transcripts because although the voice actors do a phenomenal job bringing the characters to life we often miss small details like this when we don't look at the script. But back to theorizing. Are you seeing how enthusiastic Eddie is to carry Frank's in comparison to the other neighbors??? Like c'mon at least from my queer perspective this whole interaction gives "I want any opportunity to touch my partner because we are so deep in the closet that it's killing us". Frank's reaction, at least from what we know now, and their insistence on keeping their feelings for Eddie on the down low 100% gives off the vibe that they are stern about being touched only because it could possibly implicate their relationship. It's clear they at least admire Eddie at this point, what with the iconic reaction to Eddie lifting Barnaby:

FRANK: [overlapping others, accidentally being Genuinely Impressed a second] Oh my.

(Side note these two pine like no other it's genuinely so sweet, look how impressed Frank is)

And this is in front of people! Don't get me started on how affectionate they are when nobody is around. In the previous bug update, Frank still calls Eddie "Mr. Dear" in private (though keep in mind Wally is right there) but they are noticeably more affectionate and borderline flirty?? Maybe it's just me but Frank rarely teases other characters unless they're friends with them. And they never tease anybody the way they do with Eddie. And let's not mention Frank switching from Mr. Dear to Eddie at the end of the hidden record cause oh my god does that make me sad. Like the fact, they notice Eddie is stressed and having a panic attack but they only switch to Eddie's name when it is absolutely necessary like Jesus. Frank is trying so hard to keep their cover but ultimately their concern for Eddie takes over and omg does that ruin me.

But these are major instances of potential romantic implications on the website, and we haven't even been through some of the artwork. But the major point of my bringing this up is to say that at the end of the day, a lot of these instances are only romantically coded with the hindsight of knowing they are the only canon relationship in the show. If I'm honest you could make an argument that they are simply close friends for a lot of these events, which is why I'm hesitant to say that Eddie is being excluded for the sole purpose. It's so so subtle, and I feel like if we didn't know these two were canon we would not be looking at this the way we are. I think Clown and the rest of the Welcome Home team did a phenomenal job with the script writing and I love the subtly they put into the website for this.

Now onto why I actually think Eddie is seemingly being written out of the show. Why would Eddie out of this extremely queer cast, who is in a pretty well-hidden relationship with another puppet, be the target? Why not Frank? It's because of two reasons. Eddie is dispensable and Frank is acting out.

What does Eddie really do in this show that any other character is not already doing? Being the butt of most jokes? Well, to be honest, Frank could easily fill the archetype if needed, probably even better than Eddie since they are cast as the town grump. He delivers letters? The neighborhood is extremely small in scale (at least from what I'm seeing on the website) and honestly letter could be delivered by hand if needed. The Scaredy-Cat persona? Poppy has that covered. In conclusion, as much as we love Eddie, he is dispensable.

The previous update is one I also thought was for sure Frank's doing. I think it's pretty clear from the bug symbolism everywhere. In my opinion, I think Frank is aware that they live in a show, which is why they are so much more careful about potential outings than Eddie and why they whisper Eddie's name at the end of the hidden tape. Like they are afraid of being caught. So Frank is acting out, attempting to show the viewer more about the inner lives of the puppets. And as we see in this update, they removed all traces of their interpherence.

So what are they going to do about Frank now? They can't exactly remove him. They play too much of an important role. Nearly all children's media has one character who fills the grump archetype. So Frank has to stay, but they have to punish him in some way. How do they do that? Take away their partner.

And now that Julie is going into hibernation, and Eddie is suspected to be going away...who is Frank going to have now?

But those are my speculations! Feel free to add any thoughts or disagree, I love discourse.

[peachy-panic]

It's Nice To Have A Friend

Here it is, the chapter I've been mud-wrestling with for a literal month. Jaime and Ezra finally meet :)

(yes the title is a t-swift reference)

WARNINGS: BBU/BBU-adjacent, brief mentions of past foster system, mentions of grief/parental loss

< PREVIOUS

The car radio carries on for several minutes after Sebastian kills the engine, then, eventually, that shuts off too. The silence they’re left with is all the more heavy given the remote location. Still, neither of them make a move to get out. Sebastian will gladly wait all day, if that’s what Jaime needs. 

A couple of times, he catches movement out of the corner of his eye; Jaime’s hand twitches toward the door handle, then flattens back against his thigh. 

“We don’t have to do this today,” Seabstian says. “No one will be upset if you want to back out and go home.”

“I know,” Jaime answers too immediately to be completely true. Sebastian glances over to find the familiar crease between his brows. He waits him out a few more seconds. 

“Whatever it is, you can say it.”

Jaime takes a breath. “It’s just him here?” he asks. “Your friend Ezra? No one else?”

“No one else,” he promises. “Ezra’s partner won’t be back until he gives him the word.”

Sam, of course, was perfectly happy to skip out for the day in the sole interest of making Jaime more comfortable. Sebastian finds himself, not for the first time, marveling at the generosity of this group of people he has found himself entwined in. He can’t imagine handling this contract without their support. 

“And you won’t…” Jaime pauses. 

He gives him a second to find his words. “Won’t what, Jaime?”

“You won’t leave me alone with him?”

Sebastian grinds down hard on his molars and pointedly does not let himself think about the kinds of situations Jaime may have found himself in during past contracts to make him ask something like that. He absolutely does not let it show in his expression. 

“Not if you don’t want me to,” he promises. 

Jaime lets a narrow wisp of a sigh slide between his lips. “I think I’d feel better if you stayed with me.”

And that… sort of knocks the wind out of him. Because, on one hand, that could be a crock of shit fed to him by handlers to make him feel reliant on the person who holds his contract. On the other hand, Sebastian has somehow made the jump in Jaime’s mind from active threat to someone he feels better around in the presence of strangers, and that is not a privilege he is about to take lightly. 

“Then I’ll stay,” he says. 

“Okay,” Jaime breathes, sounding genuinely relieved. He nods once, setting a look of determination over his features. “I’m ready.”

****

Jaime positions himself slightly behind Sebastian as they approach the door.

“We can tap out at any time,” Sebastian reminds him. “Just give me the word and we’ll go.” 

Jaime nods, even though Sebastian isn’t looking at him. He stands stiffly, clenching and unclenching his fists at his sides, as Sebastian knocks. A few seconds later, the door swings inward and Jaime forces his feet to stay planted where they are. 

The man standing in the doorway is nothing like the image Jaime had in his head. He didn’t have much to go on, physically, from Sebastian’s description, but in hindsight, Jaime realizes he was picturing someone more like himself. Someone shrunken and cowering, someone visibly less alive to the naked eye. 

The man he presumes to be Ezra is none of those things. He stands taller than both Jaime and Sebastian, with light brown skin and dark hair twisted into a bun at the crown of his head. Like the sweater he wears over a pair of jeans, the smile that spreads across his expression is unmistakably warm. He looks strong. He looks like nothing could ever scare him. Jaime can’t help but stare. 

“Hello.” Sebastian gives a small wave. 

“Sebastian.” Ezra nods. “Glad you could make it.” They don’t reach for a handshake or a hug, but the familiarity is obvious anyway. His eyes shift to Jaime. “Hi, there,” he says. 

Jaime swallows. “Hello, sir.”

“Ezra, please,” he says, and his smile doesn’t falter a bit. “There are no formal titles in my house. What would you like me to call you?

Jaime turns to Sebastian, who offers an encouraging nod. They’d talked about it beforehand—that Jaime is safe and allowed to use his real name around Ezra, and that he already knows that Sebastian knows it, too. That doesn’t make it any easier to get used to. 

“My name is Jaime,” he says after only a short beat of hesitation.

“It’s nice to meet you, Jaime. Please, come in.”

The house is beautiful. Big, but not arrogant. It’s not immaculate and sleek like Mr. Torley’s or Bryan’s, but well lived-in. Taken care of in a way that reflects how cherished it is to the people who live there. Mostly, Jaime just keeps thinking this house belongs to Ezra. 

“You’re welcome to keep your shoes on or take them off,” Ezra says, immediately clocking the silent way he watches the two of them for a cue. “However you feel most comfortable is fine with me.” 

Sebastian slips out of his sneakers, but Ezra keeps his on, leaving Jaime momentarily torn. In the end, he decides to follow his Keeper, bending down to untie the high-tops Sebastian bought for him. 

“Smells incredible in here,” Sebastian says, stepping further into the house. 

“I’d be flattered, but I think you’d say the same if I’d ordered pizza.”

“And it would be true either way.”

Jaime watches from a detached distance, surprised at their easy banter. He’s not sure he’s ever seen this side of Sebastian, but it immediately sets him a little more at ease. Ezra is obviously someone he trusts.

“I’m finishing up a few things in the kitchen,” Ezra says, leading them further into the house. “The two of you can keep me company at the bar, if you’d like.”

Sebastian pulls out two stools along the raised counter that separates the kitchen from the living area, and Jaime climbs obligingly into his. It feels intrinsically wrong to be sitting like a houseguest while someone else cooks, but he supposes that is exactly what he is expected to be tonight. His mind supplies the memory of his twenty-four hour contract on Christmas eve, where he spent the night at a lush family dinner, pretending to be a rich man’s arm candy, which does nothing to settle his nerves. He forces his thoughts back to the present. 

“Would you like something to drink?” Ezra offers, already pouring himself a glass of wine. Jaime eyes the liquid, once again looking to Sebastian for a cue. 

“I’m fine, thanks,” Sebastian says. He told Jaime beforehand that he would stay sober in case he—in his words—needs to play getaway driver at some point, but that Jaime is welcome to drink if he likes. 

“Jaime? A drink?” Ezra offers, tilting the neck of the bottle toward a second empty glass. 

He swallows, remembering the burn of each sip that Mr. Torley would coax down his throat. “It’s alcoholic?” he asks stupidly. 

“Doesn’t have to be,” Ezra says easily. “I’ve also got iced tea, coffee, lemonade.”

“Water?” 

A small smile quirks at the corner of Ezra’s mouth, but it doesn’t feel unkind. “Of course.” He pours a glass of water from a filtered jug and sets it in front of him. 

Jaime takes a few sips, mostly to have something to do with his hands, and observes quietly. He finds himself watching Ezra closely, fascinated and curious and bewildered, as he makes his way around the kitchen. There is a certain practiced grace to his movements that Jaime recognizes with a bit of a chill. The way his fingers poise around the handle of a knife in just the perfect way, how he stands with his shoulders back, even when he’s looking down at a cutting board. He can feel the pull of muscle memory in his own back, feel the brush of a handler’s fingers on his spine, hear them whisper in his ear, stand up straight, trainee.

A morbid thought invades his mind: that Ezra’s skill in the kitchen—and whatever other learned skills he brought with him from his time as a Companion—are part of the reason his partner was drawn to him in the first place. 

But Sebastian called him his partner. That word implies a level of equality. And that… Well, that opens the door to even more questions. Jaime hasn’t allowed himself to think much about it since entering the system, but now he has to wonder: is that kind of relationship equality even possible for someone with a past like Ezra’s? Like his own?

It’s such a surreal thought. He still hasn’t quite wrapped his head around it.  This person in front of him—this person with a real name, a real home, a real partner, a life—used to be a Companion. Used to be. It’s not a sentence that even makes sense in his head. For as long as Jaime has been acquainted with the system—both inside of it and out—there has been no way out short of a body bag. 

It’s built into the structure. It’s a lifetime commitment. Companions can be reassigned designations, transferred to different locations, and even shifted to government-direct work when they reach a certain age, but no one ever retains their freedom in the end. There are barriers too tall to escape: high tech locks on the back of their collars, unbreakable metal binding it together. Trackers embedded under their skin, into the surface of their skulls behind their ears. All their money and resources are drained the moment they “sign the contract.”

But here is Ezra, in the flesh, defying everything Jaime believed to be true. 

The thought unsettles him. Sitting still and watching someone else prepare a meal for him unsettles him. The empty patch of skin at his throat where Jaime knows a collar used to exist unsettles him. But he can only fix one of those problems. He shifts on his barstool, inching toward the edge, and clears his throat. 

“Can I help with anything?” he asks.

Beside him, Sebastian tenses. He begins to say something along the lines of, “You don’t have to—”

But Ezra interjects before he can finish the thought. “You’re certainly welcome to, if you’d like,” he says. “The sourdough is cooling now; it should be ready to slice, if you’d like to do that?”

Relief sags his shoulders. Out of instinct, he looks to Sebastian, who offers a smile that he takes as approval. Jaime slides off of his stool, and Ezra sets him up with a cutting board and a serrated knife. Out of the corner of his eye, Ezra works steadily at his own workstation, piping a bag of frosting over some puff pastries. 

The conversation picks up again. Every once in a while, one or both of them make an effort to pull Jaime in, but he is more than happy to just listen. The soft cadence of their voices and the repetition of the task in his hands slowly lulls him into something more like relaxation.

“Sebastian mentioned you like cooking,” Ezra says, passing Jaime a basket for the bread.

“I do,” he says. Briefly, he wonders if Ezra had the same thought that Jaime had about him and his partner. He wonders if he should say something in Sebastian’s defense, to make it clear that Jaime is never obliged to do the cooking, but Ezra chuckles before he can.

“I’m sure Tate is happy to have someone around who knows how to use a skillet.”

“He always helps me,” Jaime adds quickly. 

Ezra and Sebastian share a quick smile. “That’s good to hear. I’m sure he has a lot to learn from you.”

Sebastian feigns offense with a dramatic scoff. “You tell a guy about your affection for frozen burritos once!” 

“Well,” Ezra says, reaching behind himself to untie his apron. “I can only hope this meal will hold up to your sophisticated palate.”

The three of them carry the food into the dining area. The table is long—long enough to make Jaime question just how many people a fugitive like Ezra keeps in his circle.

“So,” Ezra says, folding into the chair at the head of the table. Jaime and Seabstian each take one side of him. “For the main, we have beef brisket with rosemary and garlic. On the side: smashed fingerlings and roasted Brussels sprouts with a chili oil infused honey glaze. And the sourdough, of course, with some freshly churned sea-salt butter.”

“Oh my god,” Sebastian says, looking out over the spread with genuine adoration. “Thank you so much, Ez. It all looks amazing.”

“Let’s not leave it to sight, shall we? Dig in.” 

As both Ezra and Sebastian reach for serving spoons, he must catch a flash of Jaime’s hesitation, because without looking up from the task at hand, he says, “No one goes hungry in my home, Jaime. I expect you to serve yourself as much as you want, eat what you like and ignore what you don’t, and know that I will be thrilled if you reach for seconds but not disappointed if you do not.”

Jaime blinks at him, and Ezra looks up just long enough to meet his eyes. 

“Are you okay with that?”

In the back of his mind, he remembers the face of the woman who ran Jaime’s last group home. My boys don’t go hungry, she told him on his first night. He thinks she would have liked Ezra. He reminds him a bit of her. And that’s the thought that makes him nod in agreement and reach for the last unclaimed spoon. 

For a few minutes, Jaime allows himself to slink back into the background, happily listening to the easy back-and-forth between Sebastian and Ezra. The food is incredible, but Jaime knew it would be. After all, they are trained to be the best.

“What else do you like to do, Jaime?” Ezra asks, pulling him into the conversation. “Beyond supervising Sebastian in the kitchen.”

His fingers twitch around his fork at the unexpected attention, but he recovers quickly. “I like to run,” he says. It’s an easy enough answer—WRU-approved and the one personal fact he’s already divulged to Sebastian as well. 

“Speed or long distance?”

“Either,” he says. “Both.”

“Well, I bet that made morning sessions a bit more bearable in training, at least.”

Jaime goes still. Across from him, Sebastian’s fingers clench around his fork. Neither of these things seem to deter Ezra’s co-conspiratorial smile in the slightest. Jaime, anxious under the silence, is the first to speak. 

“I’m… I’m not allowed to dis—”

“Discuss the confidential training periods,” he finishes softly. “I know.”

And it’s so bind-bendingly bizarre, because he’s hearing those words, in that cadence, from the mouth of a man who has a house and a partner and a life that stretches far beyond anything Jaime has allowed himself to hope for, but it’s undeniable. Ezra used to be like him. Ezra knows what it is like to be in his shoes, and he is on the other side of it. And still, he remembers the rules as easily as breathing. 

“Jaime,” Ezra says carefully. “You don’t have to divulge anything you do not wish to. I won’t push you. But for what it’s worth—which I fully recognize is very little at this point—whatever you say to me will never make it back to anyone who might hurt you. I know you have not been allowed to speak freely for some time, but you can do so here, if you’d like.” A small smile cracks through his somber tone. “Or, alternatively, you can make things up. Lie to me all you want, I won’t get mad. It’s your choice.”

Slowly, Jaime brings his eyes back to his plate, pushing around a piece of meat with his fork, because nothing about this evening is easy to process quickly. After a moment, he clears his throat and says, “I like soccer.”

The admission is followed by a whoosh of air expelling from his lungs, because he hasn’t talked about—or even let himself think about—that part of his life in so long. Most days, it feels more like a detail about a character he read in a book rather than a piece of his reality. A reality that suddenly feels not so far back. 

Because it’s not, he reminds himself. It wasn’t very long ago at all. 

Across from him, Sebastian perks up, eyes alight. “You do?” he asks, sounding genuinely surprised and disproportionately happy. “Did you play?”

Jaime nods.

“Is that one a lie or a truth?” Ezra asks, still grinning ruefully at him. 

“It’s true.”

“Good to know,” Ezra says. “I played soccer, too. Very briefly, when I was young. But I’ve always enjoyed being active.”

“It…” Jaime begins, surprising himself by being the one to offer up more information. “It helps. Moving, I mean. Sebastian has been running with me sometimes.”

Ezra turns to Sebastian, one brow raised. “Has he now?”

“He’s being nice,” Sebastian says. “What I actually do is kind of limp behind him while he leaves me in the dust.” He casts a glance at Jaime on the last part, and he has to duck his head to hide the smile playing at his lips. 

“If you ever want another workout partner, I’ve got a gym set up in the basement. You’re welcome to it any time. No soccer nets, I’m afraid, but I’ve got plenty of cardio and sparring gear, if you’re interested.”

“Sparring?” Jaime asks. 

Ezra nods. “Mixed martial arts, kickboxing. I’m not a professional by any means, but I can hold my own.”

“I didn’t know that,” Sebastian says. 

At this, Ezra’s smile goes a little crooked. “I’m full of surprises,” he says, then turns back to Jaime. “Speaking of… I’m guessing I’m not the only one with some questions tonight. Shall we address the elephant in the room?

For a few seconds, Jaime doesn’t breathe. He watches him, rapt and curious and inexplicably nervous. 

“I gave Sebastian my permission to tell you anything he already knows about my story. Can I ask you what he conveyed?”

Jaime’s gaze once again dips to the smooth column of Ezra’s throat, unobstructed by metal that Jaime has been told, time and time again, is indestructible. Immovable except with the explicit allowance of a high-clearance Handler.  “That you used to be… like me,” he whispers. 

Ezra nods. “I was a contracted Companion for many years. I was seventeen when I was taken in—though of course, my file stated otherwise. I was well into my twenties by the time I got out.”

“How?” The question escapes before he can reel it in, but Ezra doesn’t look offended. He seems to have expected it. 

“There are specifics that I won’t get into right now, not yet, for the safety of the other parties involved,” he says. “But I killed the last Keeper of my contract.”

The sharp intake of breath next to him tells Jaime that this is new information to Sebastian, too. 

For a dizzying moment, Jaime is swept up in a technicolor fantasy: he is towering over the lifeless body of James Torley, droplets of blood collecting at the tip of a knife and splashing into his dress shirt. A shiver runs down his spine. He pinches his thigh to ground himself.

“You ran?” he asks, a bit breathlessly. “They didn’t track you?”

A wry smile pulls at Ezra’s mouth. “They couldn’t.”He turns his head, pulling his ear forward and brushing his hair back to reveal a thin scar where his tracker would have been. Jaime stops breathing.

“I had the right people on my side at the right time,” he explains, turning back to him. “There was someone who could safely extract the tracker without setting off any of the emergency failsafes. I had someone else who was able to remove my collar as well. It was staged as a murder-abduction. Someone kept me sheltered for months, in a house in the country. I laid low. The case eventually ran cold, and I was deemed a casualty. Not so much a missing person, but a financial loss the government had no choice but to write off. And now I am here.”

No one makes a sound for a long time.

“I can’t promise you an answer,” Ezra follows up. “Not about everything. But you can ask me anything you’d like to know.”

There are a hundred questions spinning in Jaime’s head—most of them incoherent, some of them he’s afraid to know the answer to. He unsticks his tongue from the roof of his mouth and asks, “How long?”

“Since I’ve been out? Nearly a decade.”

“Aren’t you afraid?” Jaime asks. “Of being found?”

“They haven’t found me yet.”

“But they could.” Jaime’s heart is hammering inside his chest. He can’t stop the words from escaping any more than he can control the sudden tremble in his hands. 

Ezra softens his expression, letting out a long breath. “Yes,” he concedes. “They could. But, Jaime, I have spent so many years being afraid. I have fought hard for the life I have now. I refuse to let fear control me again.”

Jaime can’t remember what a life looks like without fear. He has been afraid for as long as he can remember. 

In his very first memory of true terror, he is six years old. They had just moved to a new house, and the layout was still unfamiliar. There was thunder and lightning, so loud it shook the window in his bedroom. Jaime stumbled into the hallway, fingers plugged into both ears, desperately searching for his parents to make the noise go away. But between the fear and the darkness and the newness of the house, he couldn’t find their room. He couldn’t find them. In his mind, in that moment, he was entirely alone in the world. He ended up curled against the wall, wailing into the knees of his pajama pants, until they found him. 

That was the night he learned what it felt like to truly fear the loss of his parents, even if it only lasted a few minutes. Four years later, when that fear came to fruition, he thought the worst had happened. Nothing else could ever hurt him that bad again.

Then life spent the following years proving to him that there are always new things to be afraid of, new things to hurt him, new lows to reach: cruel foster parent, hungry nights in a locked room, a disciplinary board staring him down from the wrong end of a table, a man in a shelter standing over his bed, a stranger in a bar and a cloth pressed over his face, dark gray coveralls and blinding white lights, hands on his body, cuffs around his wrists, pain and pain and pain and—

And what Ezra is telling him now scares him, too. Existing so long in the system without the knowledge of a way out is a hell of its own, but this is a labyrinth he isn’t prepared to face. 

“Maybe…” Sebastian speaks up, eyeing Jaime cautiously. “Maybe we should table this conversation for now.”

“It’s a lot to take in at once,” Ezra agrees, keeping Jaime’s gaze. “I don’t want to overwhelm you. Let’s put a pin in it for now? You can always ask me questions later, if you want.”

Grateful for the out, Jaime takes a few deep breaths and nods. Wordlessly, Sebastian reached forward and nudge’s Jaime’s water glass closer to him; not a command, but a concern. Jaime takes a long drink, focusing on the cool stream down his throat. 

“So,” Ezra says after a few long moments of quiet. “Would anyone like dessert?”

****

While Sebastian laces up his shoes by the front door, Ezra pulls Jaime to the side. 

“Here,” he says, handing him a small slip of paper. “Sebastian already has my number. Now you have it, too. It’s not just for looks; I want you to use it if you need to. For any reason at all, you can call me and I’ll pick up. Okay?”

“Thank you,” Jaime says.

Ezra nods. For the first time all night, there seems to be a brief moment where Ezra is not entirely in control of his emotions. He blinks at Jaime a few times through an unreadable expression, then takes a deep breath to smooth his face into perfect neutrality once more. Jaime shivers, seeing a flash of his own reflection in his eyes. 

“I’m glad you allowed me to meet you tonight,” Ezra says. “I will make no demands of your time in the future, but I hope this won’t be the last time. You are welcome here whenever you’d like. It might be good for you to have a friend right now.” He shrugs, bringing his smile back to the surface. “It might be good for me, too.”

***

@whumpervescence @shiningstarofwinter @distinctlywhumpthing @whumptywhumpdump @nicolepascaline @anotherbluntpencil @hold-him-down @crystalquartzwhump @maracujatangerine @batfacedliar-yetagain @thecyrulik  @pumpkin-spice-whump @finder-of-rings @melancholy-in-the-morning @insaneinthepaingame @skyhawkwolf @whump-for-all-and-all-for-whump @mylifeisonthebookshelf @dont-touch-my-soup @whump-world @inpainandsuffering cicatrix-energy @quietly-by-myself @whumpsday @extemporary-whump @the-whumpers-grimm @thebirdsofgay @firewheeesky @whumperfully @hold-back-on-the-comfort  @termsnconditions-apply  @cyborg0109  @whumplr-reader  @pinkraindropsfell @whatwhumpcomments @honeycollectswhump @pirefyrelight

[quitealotofsodapop]

Sorry just realized something funny about the Shadowpeach pregnancies.

First it was one (MK), then two (Eclipse Twins) and now three (Lunar Node Triplets). Maybe it is a good thing they are not interested in having any more magical pregnancies, if this keeps up they will be having quadruplets or quintuplets.

Haha! It was more a happy accident on my part XD

But yeah, Shadowpeach best be careful making more kids in the future. The "Buy 1, get 2 Free" situation with the Lunar Node Triplets have probably made them more wary when planning for future infants.

I wanted Macaque's little toyline shadow clones/Eclipse Twins (LMK) to be their kids, then I wanted the non-canon Yuebei Xing and ofc I had to include her brothers Jidu and Luohou (all three from "Journey to the South") cus they're so cool.

There are other "unofficial" kids of Sun Wukong in extended Journey to the West-inspired media that I wouldn't really count tho.

King Pāramitā (+4 unseen brothers) from "A Supplement to the Journey to the West" - set between an alternate timeline of Chapters 61 and 62 where Tripitaka gets kidnapped by a time traveller (even in 1640 people were pulling that trope) that somehow convinced him to give up the pilgrimage. King Pāramitā and his four brothers were apparently concieved when SWK accidentally got PIF knocked up when he transformed himself into a stomach bug/parasite in order to extort the Fan from her (Chapter 59 of JttW). I find that situation a bit too uncomfy/medically inaccurate so no. If anything I'd give Ironbull the bonus five kids, and that Pāramitā was the result of SWK accidentally lifting a curse from the couple - like when parents joke that their kid's "true parent" was a bottle of alcohol.

And since LMK's MK himself is likely a whole reference to Sun Luzhen from "Later Journey to the West" (17th century), it would be a little redundant to make a Sun Luzhen kid. Does give my Wukongverse idea of each of the SWKs having an "MK" weight tho.

In hindsight; between my au Shadowpeach's bio and adopted kids, I accidentally gave SWK the "five sons" (MK, Rumble, Jidu & Luohou, + the adopted Chenxiang) he's said to have had in A Supplement. XD

I would like to thank @journeytothewestresearch for their endless dedication and research into these sort of topics, since I use their articles as sources. I apologise for using your research as fanfic material. Go check their website out if you got any Jttw questions.

[kickingthehornetsnest]

KTHN - Symptoms

aka half the reason I made this goddamned blog. I'm going to level with you if you are experiencing even a fraction of these symptoms you are in so deep that there's no more making your way back to the surface. There's the obvious stuff: Coughing Blood Paranoia Hallucinations Headaches Nausea Exhaustion Trouble Sleeping Nightmares Heightened Emotions (I've reasons to suspect that some entities can even induce/provoke rage in targets.) but, more then that there are so many little things happening in the background you might not even realize are tangentially relevant. Trouble eating, Increased Anxiety and Stress even when the entity isn't present or hasn't been for a period of time. Dehydration Existential Dread Compulsions (the all too familiar drawings of the madman once known as Alex Kralie.) (can't believe I had to double check I spelled his last name right-) Dissociation Auditory Hallucinations Memory Loss Misplacing Objects False Memories or alternatively, remembering something you know to be true only to find out it never happened. Not only that you're symptoms and illness will vary depending on the entity/entities you may personally be experiencing. There are plenty of undocumented cryptids, that the wider public knows nothing about... But I can't speak on that too much, I don't want to accidentally draw the eye of Dr. Sherman. That said your symptoms may vary from person to person, and each encounter may drastically change symptoms. There is... quite a ... controversy amongst the community between what we deem as 'relevant information we need to know' and what is someone else's privacy. So to get this out of the way now. What Jay did to Tim is unacceptable. It was then, and still is now. It doesn't matter if the information was redacted. He was acting recklessly (possibly due to long-term consistent exposure but that isn't an excuse) and He knew better. Tim's history isn't our business, or even Jay's. And I can't believe I have to specify this for the internet. His mental disorder did not get him chosen, nor is it somehow his fault they were attacked because he had a disorder? The fact some of you all believe that is the very reason I need to make this to specify as it was a fairly common belief at the time, and looking back this sort of behavior rooted in ableism has no place in any community. That said, while certain actions or decisions of Tim's could be questioned, this would all be hindsight that he didn't have at the time, and I understand his reasons for why he chose to withhold this information. I do not believe that Tim or Brian are at fault for the events that took place, and while their methods could be questioned, their intentions, I believe, are crystal clear. When dealing with your symptoms, using Alex, Tim, Brian, and Jay as a base board for what sorts of things to look out for is essential. Not all of us are so lucky to come out of this entirely unscathed, and I have more research to do with my own symptoms as a test regarding personality disorders, and how they are effected by the interference. So consider this a part 1 of a topic I will look back on at a later date.

If you have any questions or concerns regarding your specific form of the... are we really calling it-.... ok.... "Slender Sickness".... this is why people think we're a fanbase of edgy 13 year old shitposters. ... Perhaps, though, it's better that they do... to know the truth would be just a bit too cruel... if you would like to know more, reply to this post or message me, or Ask anonymously and I will respond as soon as I can!

[broken-clover]

oh? Don't like Tamers? It ain't my favorite either but usually people like it, any particular reason? Or is it like me with 02, just a general dislike you can't place?

Huh, amazed to realize I haven't actually aired my grievances with it on here before. Peculiar.

So this is absolutely going to turn into a long post, apologies in advance, but the ultimate thesis of fundamental issues I have with Tamers is that it sets out to be a dark deconstruction of a 'Mons series but does very little that's interesting or compelling with it.

(Full disclosure, most of what I have seen of Tamer is the dub version. I have seen a few portions of it in its original Japanese, but not all of it. Due to that, it is entirely possible that some of my issues with the season are better addressed there- however, I have also been told that Tamers was the most faithful dub done thusfar with very little changes made)

I'll try to format into bullets for the sake of cleanliness

-First and foremost, one of the main differentiating factors in Tamers compared to prior seasons is supposedly that Digimon do die when defeated as opposed to being reborn. That's supposed to be a lot of what makes this season 'dark' but I can't help but find it flawed. Characters dying was already pretty important to the first two seasons, even when it came to the Digimon themselves- heck, Wizardmon by himself was one of the most impactful losses in the series overall, and he was never reborn due to having died in the human world. It's hard to feel like this is such an abrupt change to the status quo when it was present in the first season. Not to the same severity, sure, but it feels like far less of a brazen change.

-(Even without straight-up permadeath, the other seasons were still able to have plenty of threats and terrible fates! Even if they would come back later, characters dying was still something treated with weight and sorrow instead of being brushed off. I know it's heavily opinionated, but just having 'and then a character dies' as the end-all be-all bad end starts to feel dull and uninteresting after long enough. I feel like a similar example to this is with the dub version of Yu-Gi-Oh! Shadow Realm jokes aside, it at least offered something a little different as opposed to the more liberal use of killing in the source material. Limitation breeds creativity.)

-In general, I'm just not a huge fan of Konaka's style. That's much more of a personal thing than an actual issue. I think he tends to rely more on atmosphere and dark motifs rather than substance. It feels sort of like his style is an actual example of the mentality that 'Evangelion and Madoka Magica are just edgy deconstructions for the sake of being edgy' that is still alive today, despite the fact that both examples use that deconstruction to say something and make a point.

-(I feel that his work tends to lack a similar sense of substance in Tamers. It's also very hard to not bring up his increasing fixation on conspiracy theories and rallying against 'political correctness' and 'cancel culture' over the last decade or so. While I know those don't overtly tie into Tamers, in hindsight it's easy to see some of those themes in a slighter sense, and in general it just sours a lot of his work in hindsight)

-Explicitly making the first two seasons fictional in-universe made little sense to me. While I don't have an issue with that fundamentally, it's that it completely borks up the timeline when Ryo gets introduced later and how any of that is supposed to work just never gets explained or clarified

-Actually yeah on that note lemme skip ahead and talk about Ryo. I know sixth ranger-types that get added later are common to this series but in my opinion he's easily one of the worst implemented. He might've been neat as a cameo, but he instead ends up being a main character for the last leg of the series. He's a canon foreigner from the Wonderswan games, which only so many people would have been familiar with, but neither his presence in Tamers nor the plot of the Wonderswan titles are given much explanation to get newcomers up to speed on who he is or what his relevance is. He's just kinda here

-He also doesn't really do much to make up for his late introduction and lack of explanation. Really it mostly feels like his main role is to be good at everything, especially in regard to being the one guy that's better at the card game than Rika. While I know a lot of her character development was about learning humility, a lot of that had already been done by the time he showed up, and it feels like an underhanded way of making her appear weaker.

-The cards. I think it could've been a half-decent series gimmick, I mean Xros Wars did something similar and kept it consistent, but that consistency was lacking in Tamers and led it to feel half-baked. The cards served a purpose in a few instances, mostly for evolution, but the modification aspect feels poorly integrated and isn't really used much in the latter half of the season

-The Digital World isn't majorly developed in the story. Which sucks, because I really liked the approach they took to it! It was distinctly different from the Adventure series', being more alien and unsettling. We get information on how it was formed, but I felt it lacked a lot of punch given that we see so little of it.

-The whole arc with the Devas just kinda...stops. We get 90% of the way through and follow them into the Digital World to confront their master (or at least one of them) and then the fight just gets cut off. If we were just gonna be able to have a peaceful resolution and collaboration with Zhuqiaomon anyway why did we go to the trouble of building him up as an antagonist and slaughtering several of his minions. Are none of the Devas especially bothered that several of their underlings just died? Are we going to analyze any implications of their deaths instead of just brushing them off?

-I do love Calumon, I thought his antics were cute, but fundamentally his main purpose was to be a plot trinket.

-Kazu and Kenta were mostly useless to the plot and didn't have much character development, there wasn't much bonding between them and their partners, MarineAngemon was pretty overpowered and it's not explained why a side character is the only one to have a Mega-level as their default partner.

-There are twice as many secondary characters as main characters and almost none of them get much character development. Many times while watching I would think to myself 'why are you even here'

-I think Jeri's arc was interesting in theory, but implemented a little oddly. I felt like her main purpose in the series was to have bad things happen to her and there was a point partway through the D-Reaper arc where it started to feel excessive. I don't understand the point of psychologically tormenting a 10/12 year old for several episodes straight to the point where they try to kill themselves on-screen. She was simultaneously very important to the final arc of the series but does very little of her own volition aside from being a prisoner in need to rescue.

And don't get me wrong, there are things I think the season does very well! I liked Impmon's arc, I like the smaller primary cast allowing for more interpersonal moments and a closer bond between tamers and partners, while also giving the 'Mons themselves a lot more fleshed out personalities compared to the past two seasons (in particular both Rika and Renamon were highlights in term of character development by themselves and with each other), I like the heavier use of computer motifs, and I'm not wholly opposed to the darker tone it tried to go for.

But I think a decent amount of my dislike comes from the sheer amount of praise this season gets. I'd be fine accepting it as a flawed yet ambitious offering that offers plenty of its own original flair, but I constantly see people call it the 'best season by far' pretty much entirely because of its darker themes. I feel it tends to get overhyped for its 'grittiness' despite not implementing it all that well or feeling like it does much meaningful with that darker tone aside from using it for shock value. To me Tamers symbolizes a lot of the internet's tendency to go 'darker = more adult = inherently better than something more 'childish'' so that tends to sour my view of it quite a bit. I just wish its flaws were looked at more often, because I feel fans tend to be a lot more critical of the other seasons and Tamers doesn't get that kind of scrutiny

[marielle-heller]

notes on the end of Ted Lasso cause I'm really confused and torn and a bit underwhelmed and I want to make people hear my thoughts

Ted’s plotline has felt underdeveloped. despite being the main, titular character I just feel like it’s been kinda,,, not a priority and it’s upsetting. like I still feel like Ted as a character needs MORE! and I do and very much DON’T like his ending

Nate’s storyline has been one of the most decent tbh he’s maybe the only one I’ve liked in hindsight

Trent is also wonderful in that sort of way where I really have no notes like he's just great

I love Keeley choosing neither man, but I hate how these men oscillate between seeming developed and better and then reverting back to sucking. and good on the narrative for calling it out to some extent but it’s boring and exhausting. (and I understand that, yes, as they discussed, no one can be Perfect. but I really think like,, Jamie didn’t need to still be hung up on her they didn’t need to fight over her, something needed to be different cause there's not being perfect and then there's outright, why the fuck!!!! especially when we DID the "Jamie wants Keeley but then realizes he should move on" plotline LAST SEASON! like there is not being perfect and then there is, you have not grown one bit somehow, and Jamie should be Allowed to realize there's other women and he had his chance with Keeley and it's okay that they're not for each other! let him learn!!!)

cause also then the leaked nudes (another thing I have a bit of an issue with) just become,,, fodder for him being into her again and it's like, that's SO not the fucking time jesus fucking christ! and it undermines the sincerity of his apology if you read it as him starting to wonder if they could have another chance, GOD!

also the Shandy plotline was another example of something that happened a lot this season (also with Jack but it did develop how Keeley’s business is presented as taken on by Rebecca and her sexuality as well as a commentary about class so I’ll excuse all that) where a character is introduced, around for a bit, and then fucks off. which fine, can happen, plots don’t ALWAYS have to go somewhere huge they can pay off in entertainment or making a statement. but there was a lot of other shit we could’ve spent time on!

I hate how we took a plotline Ted NEEDS (being healthy with the fact that Michelle is moving on a coping) but combined it with Michelle dating the worst, most unprofessional cunt in the world (not nearly enough of a callout for him having been her personal therapist and then later a couples’ therapist (red flag on its fucking own) and then DATING A FORMER PATIENT AFTER WATCHING HER MARRIAGE END!) so that, actually, I think Ted WAS fucking right to be upset and I don’t think this SHOULD be something to just be chill with and fuck you, doctor!

I feel like there have been some good attempts to talk about real topics but that they’ve come off heavy-handed? the nudes being leaked is a great topic but the locker room bit felt a bit Much. and the way it just careened into, Isaac is upset with Colin for…. not taking enough time deleting the pictures so he takes his phone and I guess sees a dick (Colin you still could’ve been working on deleting that) and then takes it SO personally that he didn’t know… it all was So Much in a way I didn’t love

also it’s ironic we try to call out social issues but then play off things like SEVERE malpractice, abusive relationships, Keeley apparently having nudes I think spread by a teacher, etc. often for laughs

I really don’t get the Zava plotline in hindsight cause it’s another situation where like… we bring a guy in to make things better. he’s winning games but he’s got an ick vibe I think only Jamie really picks up on. it’s not super discussed so it’s like,,, has no impact, whatever. he leaves. now we have to figure out a NEW way to get better. back to square one. you could cut him out and literally it leaves like no impact on the plot except for Van Damme name change like I get!!!! that not every plot has to have a huge impact!!!!!!! but Zava was pointless and kinda a dick and I just don’t think it contributed ANYTHING to bring him in! maybe to see that they didn’t need a fancy player to get better but I also don’t know that ANYONE on the team learned that lesson tbh. and maybe that’s me complaining about not being spoon-fed but I really feel like if the message was “they think they need him but they don’t” it wasn’t super There. and having him send self-indulgent t-shirts in the final episode is really like… yeah okay guy still sucks

Rupert fall from grace plotline pretty great

Rebecca does develop a bit and I like that. she seems to go from being upset she’s single and never had a child, she still wants to defeat Rupert, but she learns to let go of that and just focus on what matters. she stands up for the love of the game, she finds inner strength. but still I think a little something is missing. I don’t think just giving her a man and a child fixes that. I don’t know, a lot of this just feels like something’s off. I’m glad she’s happy, but her arc this season wasn’t much

I really enjoyed learning Beard’s backstory but aside from that his main storyline is being in an abusive relationship played for laughs so like…. ugh. and Beard telling Ted he doesn’t want to go but couldn’t let him down is SO FUCKING GOOD, but, again…. I hate Jane so fucking much!! I keep coming back to the texts she sent in that episode and god she’s reactionary and cruel and obsessive and just,? and the one time Higgins tries to point it out he’s ignored it’s annoying

Jamie’s development as a team player has been SO amazing but again… I wish that translated into letting go of Keeley. but I do love him a lot. but let him let GO!

I’m trying to be… objective in that. things don’t tie up perfectly always in real life. but I do just feel… like there’s a lot of character development that don’t quite get!!!! Ted & Rebecca both could do better! I like the idea of them just staying friends (but DO they, even? do they have a daily video chat did he give her the biscuit recipe is there ANYTHING?) and there’s SO many good individual moments & characters in the show but I just feel like there’s a lot halfbaked looking at things as a whole

ROY KENT NEW MANAGER AND THE FANS OWNING THE TEAM AND KEELEY’S WOMEN’S LEAGUE ALL VERY GOOD!!

It’s nice to see everyone happy and together but then it leaves me more confused why Ted has to separate himself. I get he’s got Henry & I’m glad he’s coaching his son. being apart from his son is a big problem for Ted and I like that the effort to be a better father is a priority. but I still feel like things are a bit hollow. it feels like the narrative says that being a more present dad will allow Ted to let go of every other issue but I still just feel like many things weren’t fully worked at. is he an alcoholic? it’s sometimes implied!!! is he open to love? who knows!!!! does he have friends or another day job or anything to give his life meaning when Henry’s with his mom? no clue!!!!!!! does Dr. Jacob choke and die? one can only hope!!!!!!!!!

overall I liked it fine but this entire season has felt Off and Nate’s storyline is the only one I can fully endorse. I just expected from something that was so clearly planned out in detail to have less meandering plotlines, more time for developing characters, clearer closure, and maybe,, ANY evidence that Ted has not cut himself off entirely from his family right when it was getting good! if anything, it almost seems like he’s NOT coping because he DID do that! and footage of him & Rebecca video chatting or him flying out for Beard’s stupid wedding or on special occasions could mitigate that but instead it feels like he really is supposed to have cutting himself out of his found family entirely to return to his ex-wife and son as like,,, his entire closure. and so I can't in good faith believe he IS doing better. I can't.

[elvisabutler]

how many kids do professor presley and belle have? (I imagine 2 or 3) omg the part that really got to me is when he’s being absent and she’s worried sick! can we headcanon where maybe its months later and he gets sick again and doesn’t show up and she leaves right away and stays w him for two to three days despite him urging her to go to class? and when she’s pregnant he takes vitamins/eats better/goes on walks all bc he doesn’t want to add any stress on her by getting sick himself? i imagine by the time she graduates she’s already 3-4 months but it isn’t noticeable but they know. And he always assures her he isn’t going anywhere any time soon bc he has to be around to help her take care of their young ones

my main thought has always been four at least so you're not far off my dear sweet anon. and listen, that was always my way of trying to lean into the big daddy era elvis i set for the two of them. because he wasn't going to ever have a drug problem- in that he sort of nipped the one he developed in the army driving the tanks in the bud when he got back and found- well- that bit's a long story but suffice it to say so i don't detract from the point of this ask, i really just wanted something that had the effect of scaring belle and bringing them closer together. mildly unleashing her helpful nature that most people never really- bothered to relish in/get to really know about.

but we most certainly can headcanon that since she definitely would do exactly that. because she'd be in bed with him when he realized it was going to be a rough day, a bad day that would mean staying home and he'd try to kick her out of the bed to go to class only to have her tell him that she would be doing no such thing and honestly babying him and just trying to nurse him back to health/help him with whatever he'd need. finally manages to kick her out on that third day when he's like "goddamn belle, already feelin' loads better just go to class, ain't gonna die if ya leave me be for a few hours." and she of course smacks him in the chest for even the implication before you know- actually going to class. comes home to find him cooking a little tiredly but that's when she knows okay he's on the mend, he's fine.

and yes you're right about him taking better care of himself when she finds out she's pregnant. though he does start once she moves in since she's having none of this "him still living like a bachelor" bullshit let alone smoking as many cigars as he does/being as sedentary as he is. she gets why he has been but it's nothing she can't cure with a bunch of bullying all the pre med majors she knows. because even before she gets pregnant she just want him to be healthy for her. especially since he says and i quote. "belle, i might- i don't know if i can give ya kids." which makes the accidental pregnancy right before she graduates hilarious in hindsight.

as far as her first pregnancy goes since it's twins she shows pretty early despite not necessarily being on the thin side. so people know when she graduates and i'm saving the bulk of this for a headcanon post i got from another anon asking for more headcanons but she's going to eventually be teaching so she's immediately gonna be heading right back in to get some requirements sorted out so that she can take over an empty spot in the department. because nepotism or not elvis makes a case for her as do multiple other professors- not the ones she slept with mind you- that she'd do well as one.

basically anon i love you for this ask and you already basically get what i had planned out to be perfectly honest. i'm also truly and deeply delighted that him missing classes his as good as it did.

[cherryatombomb]

Bewitch You

John "Soap" MacTavish x Simon "Ghost" Riley

tags: fluff, meet cute, little to no angst.

read on ao3 here :)

A life of simplicity was something Simon never, truly, saw himself having. Even back when he was a butcher, he never expected it to last. Something in the back of his mind insisted that he keep on guard – and, well, look where it got him. He could barely look himself in the mirror, these days.  

So, it was forgivable that, now he’d been discharged from the military, and was living a supposedly normal life, he just felt... ill at ease.  

He had a house, now. A big, empty house, all for himself. He had a garden, he had house plants, he had his own little conservatory. And it was weird.  

For the first month, he didn’t even sleep on his bed. He slept on the floor. It made more sense, to him – it felt more comfortable. If something were to come, in the middle of the night, it wouldn’t be as difficult to wake up.  

That and the bed was too fucking soft. Christ, that mattress felt like sinking into a marshmallow – how the hell do people sleep like that? 

Still, months passed, and he only felt somewhat like he was losing in mind. In Ghost’s head, that was progress.  

Eventually, Price seemed to tire of Ghost’s constant irritation. Supposedly, his former Commander wanted peace and quiet, and not Ghost always calling him to gripe about how soft his mattress was, or how quiet his neighbourhood was, or-- 

You get the gist.  

 So, here he was. Two months later, after Price’s suggestion. He was sat upon his sofa, looking down at the small creature sat on his lap, staring up at him. Fearless little bugger, the dog was so small that he was sure some of his boots towered over it, yet he didn’t seem fussed. Grey fur, messy and tousled, and piercing blue eyes that seem fixed on him.  

An emotional support animal. 

On the way to his shelter, he thought about getting a stereotypical one. The sort that could defend him at home – a German Shepard, or an Alsatian, or a Doberman. And don’t get him wrong, there were plenty there. In fact, the person showing him around the adoption centre seemed to be encouraging him towards one of those.  

But then he saw Frank.  

Frank was a mutt. A chihuahua, probably, mixed with something else. He had wiry fur, and despite his small stature, he barked like hell when Simon approached the cage.  

“This is Frank,” the worker said, a sheepish look in their eyes, “He’s... a handful. His last owner was not... the greatest. He’s been neglected, abused. He’s not good with children, or... a lot of other things. He barks a lot.” 

Well, Simon had been sold.  

Fuck, Price was going to laugh like hell when told about the dog he’d adopted.  

So he looked down at Frank, watching the dog appraise him.  

“You want to go on a walk?” 

A bark was his only response. Perfect.  

Gently nudging the dog out of his lap, he grabbed the lead he’d bought, alongside the harness. Frank grumped and growled about the whole situation, but, for some reason, decided Simon was trustworthy enough for now, and allowed it to happen.  

Within the next ten minutes, they headed outside. In hindsight, it must look pretty strange. Ghost, being a tall man, muscled, scarred, lower half of his face covered up with a facemask (part of him still missed the full balaclava, but he recognized he couldn’t wear that around a neighbourhood without looking like a burglar), and here he was with his dog, a pipsqueak who was eyeing everything angrily.  

It was an arduous walk, for the most part. The list of things Frank didn’t like was increasing by the minute: big dogs, little dogs, men who walk too fast, bikes, kites, frisbees... Ghost could continue, but he won’t. Part of him could relate, though. All those mundane things just felt threatening, now. Painful. So, he understood Frank, greatly.  

Eventually, the duo made it just outside Simon’s house. Frank, despite having not spent much time there, seemed to realize that this was home, and relaxed a lot more. Perhaps he’d take him to a more secluded place, next time – the park wasn’t ideal for either of them.  

It was only as they were just moving onto Simon’s driveway that something ruined the calm that had settled over Frank – a loud, purring engine could be heard, and he recognized it as a motorbike. Frank seemed to tense, and a growl escaped him, all his fur seeming to go on one end. Poor guy. Loud noise like that must be overwhelming, with little ears. He tried to do what felt right – in one fell swoop, he crouched down, and lifted Frank into his arms. The little dog fit perfectly there.  

Only then did he look up, seeking the source of the noise. A nice motorbike came driving down the road, and Frank’s barks only grew more incessant the closer it got. The bike didn’t drive away, though. No, instead, it pulled into the driveway next to Ghost’s.  

Oh, Christ, it was his neighbour.  

He’d seen the house up for sale for a while, now, and saw it’d been sold the past month. He’d never fully sussed if the people had moved in until now, though.  

Before he could rush himself and the still-growling Frank inside, Ghost realized he’d been staring at the biker, and the biker, now parked, was staring back. It was difficult to tell, through the visor, whether he was staring at Frank or Simon, though.  

He tried to turn, walk inside, but as the motorbike shut off, he heard the man slip off his bike, and then approach. Frank’s growling intensified.  

“Hey there,” His new neighbour said, slipping off his helmet. Simon blinked a few times as he looked him over. Somebody up there, if heaven existed, fucking hated him. A fucking mohawk, the prettiest blue eyes he’d seen, and a fucking gorgeous face – the man was handsome. His neighbour was every part his type.  

Ghost was in hell.  

This cushy little neighbourhood, and this nice suburban house, was his personal hell. At least he had Frank, to keep him somewhat sane.  

“Feisty little fella, ain’t he?” The man asked, a smile quirking his pretty lips. Still in Simon’s arms, Frank seemed to settle somewhat, but was eyeing this mystery man with a great deal of suspicion.  

“Sorry - I’m your neighbour. Name’s John MacTavish. Moved myself in just the other day,” One of his hands offered out for a handshake, and Simon’s heart hammered at the thought of shaking his hand. 

What the hell was wrong with him? 

… Ah, shit, he’d been leaving him hanging.  

Adjusting Frank so he was carefully cradled in one hand, Simon offered out his own – gloved – hand, and shook John’s. “Simon,” he introduced, “and he’s Frank,” 

“Frank? Oh, he’s a handsome man,” John cooed, “Can I say hi?” 

Simon swallowed, and then crouched down, and placed Frank on the ground. “...Yeah.” 

Rather than scare Frank by looming over him, John placed his helmet on the ground behind him, and then sat, cross-legged, on the floor, holding out a hand for the dog. Simon only watched, silently, as Frank tentatively sniffed John’s hand, and then his tail slowly began to wag. The little dog stepped closer, nudging against Johnny’s leather-coated leg, and then hopped into his lap.  

“He likes you,” Simon commented.  

The smile that crossed John’s lips made his heart freeze. Fuck, he wanted to see him smile like that more often.  

Ghost felt almost like he’d been possessed. Maybe was something was wrong with him. A fever? A mental break? Maybe living outside of warfare, living a peaceful life, for a few months, had left his mind deteriorating.  

He didn’t just get crushes on people.  

Something was wrong.  

“I’m glad!” John replied, using his teeth to tug off one of his gloves, a movement that was obscenely hot, and so fucking unfair. “Just doesn’t like the bike, does he? That’s fair. Noisy thing, aye?” He chuckled. 

“And the helmet.” Simon informed. 

“And the helmet,” John agreed, “So scary,” 

“And dogs. And tree branches. And bicycles. And frisbees. And...” He trailed off, a dry amusement in his tone.  

“Very sensible phobias. Who knows when a tree branch’ll conk you in the head? Or a cyclist will roll over your feet? Frank seems like a reasonable man,” John said, looking up at Simon with a smile. 

“Frank’s scared of everything, Johnny,” Ghost informed, though his lips twitched upwards in amusement. Fucking hell, was he smiling? Maybe this was a mental break.  

“Well,” Johnny began, still gently petting the dog, who had now decided that he enjoyed his company, “Can’t blame him for it. Little man, big world. Guess it’s nice he’s got a guy like you to look after him, eh?” 

Simon Riley wasn’t blushing. He wasn’t. If anybody dare insinuate he was, he’d-- 

“It’s been good meeting you, and meeting Frank,” Johnny finally coaxed the little dog out of his lap and righted himself to a stand. Frank bumped his head against his leg, and then stepped away, returning to his usual duties of sniffing the grass, and eyeing any butterflies around suspiciously. “Gotta do some baking. My niece lives nearby, got a bake sale at school, I offered to help. Never quite figured out how to make cupcakes without burning them, but I’ll get it,” he grinned, squatting down to pick up his helmet. “I’ll see you around, hey?” 

Simon nodded, glancing down at Frank, and trying to figure out how any of this worked. He was just a normal man, having a conversation with another normal man, who was his neighbour. That worked. He could do that.  

“Sure,” he agreed, weakly. Fucking hell, he could hear the rest of the 141 laughing at him now, overly their weekly drinks. How could a few months make him lose his touch like this? 

Then Johnny smiled again, and waved, and turned around, and Simon decided it wasn’t quite so bad. 

Not when he had a view like that. A cursory glance around showed him that nobody had noticed him rather obviously staring at Johnny’s ass, but nobody did. Well, except for Frank, who was staring at him like he was judging him for everything.  

Simon returned that look, for just a moment, before he walked back inside, and locked the door behind him. He took the harness off Frank, who ran into the living room and hopped up onto the sofa using the small stepping stool Ghost had left him. Ghost joined him on the sofa, after a moment. He turned on a movie, just for the background noise, trying to distract his mind.  

His mind never stopped buzzing about Johnny, however. His new neighbour.  

Fuck, he already had it bad for him. Maybe he should bake him some cakes. Just for... a housewarming gift, right? For his neighbour's niece.  

Just... well... he hadn’t had much experience of making cupcakes.  

It couldn’t be too difficult, right?  

[smolstarthief]

Ok so my overly analytical mind is going and now I wonder if this line...

...Was sort of foreshadowing this moment:

Like part of a convo between me and a Twitter mutual was, to summarize, on how the group slowly became less naive about the world as the game progresses and then I realized this: This naivete was used against them in this scene.

I still absolutely hated how the Thieves got captured in Kyoto. It just felt too contrived and dumb to me. Especially when they turn down a potentially good idea in favor of just charging in all at once for the flimsiest (very naive) reasons... BUT what if this was the moment their naivete screwed them over and came crashing down which caused them to start to really see Zenkichi's (and even Akechi's) points about them?

Like the whole moment where they were talking about what to do, in retrospect, can be an example of how their attempt at heroics are well-intentioned (true, Makoto shouldn't go out alone in fairness but putting out the whole team was very reckless) but ultimately didn't work out as they had hoped. Akane's case is a bit more different as she was being used there by the people they were chasing after but at the same time. They still got their own heroic/idealistic viewpoints used against them.

They even said something along the lines of, "If we don't help those in need, we're not really Phantom Thieves" throughout which was used as a primary reason for coming in all at once. That could be another look at the later deconstruction of their idealism/views as heroes of the story. I feel like after Kyoto, they eventually found a balance between their own and Zenkichi's (and, again, even Akechi's to an extent) views.

They will still fight against an unjust system but also be more careful of how they handle their attempts at heroics and that not everyone who is considered a "victim" is perfect or pure. They will get used if they're not careful. That and while people have had hard lots in life, their shitty actions and behavior in present day aren't exactly justified either. Akane was brainwashed more or less to be fair but still. Her behavior wasn't 100 percent justified either even if it's understandable.

I still hated that scene but with that in mind, it should've been better executed and less reliant on dumb luck if anything in hindsight. Like yes, use Friendship by going in together... And it fails. Unsurprisingly. What are you gonna do though? *Shrugs*

[noeffingbody]

Part 2: The Cage

But Daddy I Love Him - You can’t have a forbidden romance without the obstacle. In this case, it’s not a jealous husband or a scorned ex. It’s people in the cheap seats saying, “so did you hear…?” in between sets. For the first time, I think ever, has Taylor taken aim at people who are not haters, not casual listeners, but people who claim to intimately KNOW her, and also claim to know what’s best for her. I love the conceit of the song being that it’s sort of an evolved love story. The “daddy” isn’t some evil tyrant king mad on power, it’s the people who claim they have a very special connection with Taylor. People who claim they’ve made her, they grew up with her. They become stand-in parents who tragically can’t let her go. Despite it all, there’s a kind of joy and teenage rebellion to this song. It feels like a celebration of her personal freedom, part of the joy comes from doing exactly what she wants but also because there is a kind of satisfaction watching people who think they have control realize they actually…don’t.

Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me? - It’s no wonder Taylor released this in the middle of a gigantic tour where her every move is dissected, analyzed, characterized, judged. She has always played around with the idea of being torn apart, and accepted it as a natural hazard of her job—she has no way to control it so might as well resign herself. In this song, though, she is livid. It’s a howling rage running through the chorus of this song. What if I crash all of your parties and let me hear you say those things again to my face? Would you be scared? Would you dare to repeat yourselves? And who are you if not the people who came up with the hoops I have to jump through in the first place? Doesn’t that make me fearsome because I aced all those terrible tests you personally devised just for me? Again, this is a song aimed at a subject which seems to be people who claim to care deeply about her. They’re coming to watch the show, after all. But just know, she’s judging you as well, she’s going to come right back no matter how many times you try to hang her.

How Did It End? - Imagine a somber time in your life, maybe a death, maybe a loss of some kind...a serious situation where the mood is low and maybe you deserve some space and privacy. Instead, you have gossip-mongers circling this death like vultures in the sky, ready to descend on the body of whatever has died. In this song, the death is of a relationship. That's not the tragic part, though. The tragedy is that people must search for any scraps of meat and bones to pull apart and dissect. I do remember when the news of joever reached tumblr, and it became an almost joyous occasion. Inboxes were overflowing, discussion was at a fever pitch, and there was renewed interest in parsing Taylor's facial features for any hint of a stray tear. This isn't a call-out for any one specific person, I was also engaged in it. In hindsight, it was pretty nauseating that something so personal to her, could become such a wide-ranging topic of discussion. It does come with the territory of being such a huge celebrity, you provide entertainment via your public life. But whose humanity is really being lost in that process? Hers or ours?

I Can Do It With A Broken Heart - This is arguably the best "caged" song. It outlines the parameters of her job--be OKAY above all else. You could be dying, you could be depressed, you could be broken and alone, but you've got to slap a smile on your face and perform. Whether it's in front of a dining room with your extended family who can't fucking mind their own business, or a sold-out stadium tour filled with fans who celebrated your latest breakup, there is a particular art involved in being a woman and being so good at hiding your emotions that you've turned it into a career. Imagine Bree Van Decamp from Desperate Housewives sobbing her eyes out in the bathroom, only to emerge three minutes later without a hair out of place and a serene smile on her face holding the most beautifully arranged bouquet of flowers. It's jarring, it's weird, it's...a woman.

I Hate It Here - What if I lived in a different time? What if I had a different career? Would it be better? Nope, nope, and nope. At least, those are the answers this song gives us. It does seem a very modern, but simultaneously timeless, sensibility that has you trapped in a very very particular life. There's no deserting, there's no escaping, there's no relief. It's just day after day of being you. In your body. In your town. So what do you do? You escape into the recesses of your mind, of course. Anything is possible there, you've morphed into the stories of a million different people simultaneously. You are in the secret garden, you're in a lunar valley, you're happy, you're in love, you're safe and beyond reproach. And, most importantly, none of these other people have any part in it. They can't watch you, they can't hold you, they can't touch you.

Florida!!! - You can't talk about feeling trapped without also talking about escape. Apparently our narrator feels like her escape is Florida. It's swampy, it's low, it's barely tethered to reality. I can see the appeal. I do think the song speaks to a specific moment in time, when you don't just need a bender or a vacation, you need, like, extensive healing and unimpeded time to yourself. You need to not be hounded by your mistakes, and big neon signs flashing your name all the time. You don't need to be surrounded by your friends who are happily married with kids, OR friends who are living in their own personal neverland. You need escape from the times, the life you've led, the people you've known who just won't leave you alone. Who are coming to get you after every minor change in your life, so that there's nothing you can do which doesn't make you feel like a fucking criminal. To be so hunted, no wonder she wants to go to Florida of all places.

[silentsockfeet]

tlou hbo s1 ep1 thoughts (spoilers obviously)

really love that we spend half the ep following sarah through her day in the life, it’s the film equivalent of her being the first playable character in the game. we as the audience spend so much time with her and if you’re not familiar with the story i imagine you’d assume the rest of the show is meant to be around her, only for that to crumble later

the curtis and viper dvd 😭😭

i like how much they show off tommy and joel’s dynamic, specifically in the car scene. tommy mostly acts with emotion and impulse and relies a lot on joel to make the decisions, while joel is the one thinking rationally even when stakes are high: planning them a route to the highway, trying to guide them through the crowds, etc.

an obvious thing to point out but the accuracy of the sets is astounding!! sarah’s room, the austin roadsign (this one specifically broke my brain), the boston QZ, it’s all so goddamn good

LOVE the change to having joel gathering supplies to go and find tommy, it says so much about his character but also their relationship. joel at his core is still a deeply loving and protective person even after twenty years in an apocalypse has forced him to build a harder exterior. but he’s also still stuck in the past, still seeing tommy as the sort of immature younger brother he has to keep watch over

gaslight gatekeep girlboss tess everyone say thanks anna torv

i LOVE that they gave us a glimpse into how the fireflies dealt with ellie before confirming she was immune, i always wondered how the fireflies would’ve reacted to her showing up claiming immunity. the level of paranoia from the fireflies and the responding sass from ellie was exactly how i’d imagined it to go haha

also just really like the world building of how a military-occupied QZ works, with the job system and the radio post with people lining up to send messages to loved ones

obviously happy that gustavo is working on the show but there were so many times a score from the game would play in the show and there’d be this weird disconnect in my brain where i’m like ‘wait that’s not where the music is supposed to play’ LOL

joel little spoon confirmed

so so obsessed with the expansion of tess and joel’s relationship, the way tess is able to calm joel down and get him to think clearly, the way she is clearly so supportive of him going to find tommy. they were able to say so much with so little about who she is as a person and to joel

in game ellie had already met marlene once before she was infected so it made sense that she would go to her for help after, but in the show she’d never met marlene before, makes me wonder why ellie went to her/the fireflies or if that had even been what elllie had intended. maybe she just got tangled up with them and had to make do? or it could be possible that [redacted] survived long enough to escort her to an outpost and explain the situation

joel info dumping about construction in the middle of a manhunt i love this man

“kim you don’t have a fuckin ear on your fuckin head” PLEASE that line was so funny. absolutely uncalled for

bella is so goddamn good as ellie. the mannerisms the sass everything is just so spot on. there were moments when she even sounded just like game ellie it was astounding

ellie’s interest with joel’s violence is so intriguing, i feel like that’s actually a fairly sizable difference from the game. in the equivalent game scene ellie was kinda shocked that tess and joel killed the soldiers, whereas in the show she was fascinated by it.

and also depressing lol, it’s something that she’s surrounded by but has never really had to do before so i think she views violence in an aggrandizing way, kind of like the heroes in her comics. it’s really depressing to know that one day she’s going to get to the point where she realizes just how taxing violence truly is

in hindsight i should’ve known they were gonna end this ep on the reveal of ellie’s immunity, it’s such a genius cliffhanger for people new to the story

[mysteryman-17]

* I… I did it!? * I DID IT! No more shall bad guys go unpunished!! * …Yet. Why do I still feel so… * Unfulfilled? * …and alone? * … * M-maybe that part comes LATER in my rule, yeah!! * Yeah… right.

Time’s End is an AHIT/Undertale crossover AU of sorts, taking place in the aftermath of a timeline where you lose the final boss fight against Mustache Girl. You can find the write-up here! In addition, you can find the write-ups for the Neutral Endings and TimeWarp Route Requirements on Google Drive! The logo for Time's End was designed by @bittybattybunny. She's an incredible artist, be sure to check out their work here on Tumblr and over on Twitter!! (if it hasn't imploded by the time you're reading this post anyhow lmao.) This track was a commission-turned-collaboration with my boi Wisteria Bird Studios. Be sure to check out his work too!

Motifs:

Judge, Jury and Executioner

Get Lost

Main Theme/Title Screen

You can also listen to this track in high quality on the AU’s SoundCloud here! The rest of the description is underneath the Read More.

Mustache Girl takes on a hybrid Asgore and Asriel role. Years ago, she took Hat Kid's Time Pieces and set into motion a chain of events that would drastically change the world as everyone knew it, and put it firmly in her hands to rule. She thought this would be the best way to serve "proper" justice back then, but now? She's just tired. Mu's been done with this for quite some time, and she feels deeply trapped. Trapped by the people she already turned against her years ago, by her (in hindsight) rather bullheaded quest that's lost all its appeal of pursuing, by the all-encompassing kingdom she never realized she didn't want… and by an unending feeling of loneliness and sadness. The spark that started this mess is long gone (and that's putting it lightly,) but Mu sure as hell isn't going to actually say it, let alone give up without a fight. Cause the one thing that never truly went away was Mu's stubborness/committment, no matter how much it tears her apart inside.

So, about the note regarding my boi Kristian's involvement on this track! I did indeed commission the track this motif was pulled from, and paid Kristian in full. However, something happened which caused him to be unable to finish the track. So I used what he had in the project file and took up the reins of finishing it myself. The actual track I commissioned from Kristian and therefore the one I finished will be posted here sometime later, and given the tag on this track, I think y'all can take a good guess as to what that will be! (Also any Doctor Who fans may recognize what we chose to base this and the larger track off of.) ;) Anyhow tho, this is just a simple edit of that track to fill in the Memory slot for the AU OST. Kill two birds with one stone n all that jazz, y'know? Hope y'all enjoy! :) (Also I'm admittedly not 100% on the name, but eh. Can't come up with anything else, so this is gonna have to work lmao)

[hyliandude]

I had a dream last night.

There was a middle eastern guru that seemed homeless and dirty in the streets. He asked me to follow him to help save the people i care about. He seemed solemn and genuine so i went with him in the streets without care of calling off from work.

He took me into street markets in between a temple with devout followers of another religion, but there were people of all ethnicities.

I tried catching up to him but he was so fast, and everyone knew and bowed to him. There was this column everyone was huddled around at one point, and before proceeding he chanted something around it, seemingly “blessing” the column and gently told people to respect the area. Everyone got away from it (he later told me the column was unstable and needed repairs, so this was the fastest way to get people to clear the area and be careful with the column).

We entered this kitchen area and he changed attire. Food safety prep attire? I didn’t question it, but it seemed like we were going into some sort of food kitchen or prep kitchen to prepare meals for the homeless. Ok. I didn’t mind at all, and i remember thinking about how small the operation was. We were only probably going to feed like 80-100 people, but i also realized how MUCH more of an impact this was than me sitting at a desk pretending to do work for companies i know nothing about. (The attire they gave me was some sort of bib, and event shirt. It was a memorial shirt, for someone named Carla Mae, but i knew it wasn’t you b/c you were alive in my dream and the picture of the person was someone else. But it still made me think about the event. Before i could speak to anyone about the coincidence, my shift was over and the guru was having me haul leftover stalks of some of the food we prepared out back. All waste, and super heavy).

There was a lady out back, either washing clothes or collecting trash to place it in a giant pile of a courtyard. There weren’t many people there because of the horrid smell, and i think even residences above were no longer there because of the stench. It was only the one lady. She was peeling something with a knife, and then i realized she was mincing the trash to make it easier for herself to toss it. She took pride in her mundane task, but no one seemed to appreciate her efforts. The guru greeted her like a long time friend, but she was blunt and almost rude with him the entire time (in hindsight, im sure people were rude to her all the time because of the stinky area she was patrolling so she developed this personality as a defense mechanism). The guru conversed with her and eventually convinced her to hand use each a knife. I took it gladly. With the leftover stalks of food waste we had, we started peeling them to better expose the insides. The lady asked us why we were “taking her job” and the guru replied that we were just here to help. To which she relaxed and continued to quietly converse with us. The guru would peel a few stalks from the pile we had, and tossed them into her pile. He then gestured to me to do the same. After a few hours, we were finished with our pile, and finished sprinkling the chunks across her pile. She thanked us, and so did others before we left (i didn’t know, but it turned out that the leftover food stalks were a natural deodorizer. The guru had killed 2 birds with 1 stone in his efforts). It took a while, it smelled, i was sweaty and gross. But i felt so fulfilled and impactful, I can’t even explain.

(Throughout this entire time there’s been music playing from the temple area. Id had it stuck in my head since i woke up, but it’s now 6:55 AM and i dont remember how it goes anymore).

Later in the day we are in the temple, for some service i suppose, and i swear people are huddling around the guru as we walk like paparrazzis, but with more decorum and respect. He’s not mad at any of them, and he addresses those he can without losing sight of his path through them.

The only one i remember was a man asking for the presence of “god” in his village. He was wondering what it would “cost” him to have god come and be at his village. This question stood out to me, and it mustve stood out to the guru too, because he stopped and turned to the man:

“This is a common question, but an easy one”

I assumed he’d be asking for a donation of sometime, which was a concept that disillusioned me to the entire establishment.

The guru then proceeded to talk to the man. His village was going through a rough time. This man was the only one of strong enough mind and body to come out into the temple from afar to seek help. The guru said it would cost him the salary of multiple builders, cooks, fisherman, etc. The man said that he was strong and well versed in many skills, but that he had no funds to pay more people to come and help in the village with those things.

The guru then whispered something to the man, which must’ve shocked him immensely as i saw the wave of revelation come over him, and he left the crowd!

The guru turned to me and quickly said

“Why pay for god if he’s already there?”

There was another scene where i was at a private rooftop dinner with the guru and a family overlooking the city. We were clearly there for the father, a strong and clearly wealthy man who had evidently been religious in the past. He wanted the guru’s influence and advice on military and commercial conquest, and i dont remember what else was said, but we just left. Something about how the man had lost sight of “all his past lessons”.

In the end, i didn’t quite understand why i was playing “hooky” all day. I didn’t know how to “save those that i love”. He told me people just want to be heard and understood. Not a surface level thing, but truly HEARD and UNDERSTOOD. It seemed so cliché, but he also mentioned how the time we spend with our loved ones is 1. An investment and extension of ourselves that they’ll remember and learn from. A piece of ourselves inevitably makes it to them, and he wanted to make sure it was the BEST piece of ourself. And 2. The time is something we’ll both cherish. At the end of the day, we’ll all be gone without thoughts or memories. In our final moments we’ll regret spending time on a computer or pointless meeting instead of with the people we love. To save them, means saving ourselves of course, but it means spending as much time with them. They aren’t with us if we’re not spending time with them, just like they won’t be with us when we’re all gone - so spend as much time with them to save them. Take that time back with them. And cherish it.

I still had the jaunty music stuck in my head. I vividly remember what i was wearing, what he was wearing, and what others were wearing.

Just wanted to jot all this before i forgot.