#or live a life more interesting and less repetitive

[layraket]

born to live in a fantasy and incredible worlds, forced to be a random guy who is intolerant to lactose

[maccreadysbaby]

Writing Tips; Dialogue

Does your dialogue fall flat, or feel thin and strange? Does it feel like your characters are talking like robots? Do your conversations sound repetitive and monotone? We’ve all been there. It’s a very common occurrence amongst writers. Here are some of my favorite ways to avoid the monotone robot characters and add life and movement into your dialogue!

In this post, we’re going to have an example sentence that changes as I talk about different additions. Here it is in its naked, base form: “I know it’s real I saw it,” Nico said.

Now, let’s hop into making it lively, shall we?

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1) PUNCTUATION

Commas and punctuation are your best friends! Use them. Use the crap out of them. Many people will say commas can’t go here and they can’t go there, but I say, in dialogue, it doesn’t matter. If you want your character to pause but you don’t want to use an ellipsis because it feels too long, use a comma. Put them wherever you want. Wherever your character pauses. If your character is rambling or talking really fast, take them out. It’s your dialogue. Use any and all punctuation to bedazzle up your lines. There is never too many or too little of anything if you want it that way, folks.

Keep in mind, punctuation can change the whole feeling of your sentence and the way your readers imagine your character talking. For example, your punctuation should differ between an excited and a sad line.

Here is the example sentence, punctuated in two different ways. “I know it’s real, I saw it!” Nico said. “I know it’s real… I saw it,” Nico said.

Can you see how just the change in punctuation changes the way you imagine him saying it? Really hone in on how your character is speaking and punctuate it to show that. (Keep in mind that this is your story and your character. You don’t have to obey punctuation rules and writing stereotypes, your story obeys you.) Put whatever punctuation you want there. Use thirty commas in your sentence. Use an ellipsis after every word. If it makes your character sound how you want them to sound, go for it, friends!

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2) ITALICS

Some people hate reading over-italicized works, but that’s their own preference. Italics is a great way to add interest, movement, and a characters natural inflection into your dialogue. (I freaking love italics.) Italics helps readers understand what the character is focused on, and how they’re speaking. Again, people will say not to use it too much or only to use it so many times in a paragraph… but the key here is still to write it how you like it. Italics can make your sentences sound more human and more authentic.

Here is our pair of examples, now with punctuation and italics. “I know it’s real, I saw it!” Nico said. “I know it’s real… I saw it,” Nico said.

Take a minute and read through the example dialogue, imagining each word italicized one by one. Pay attention to the meaning and context it gives it. (For example, if the ‘I’ at the beginning is in italics — I know it’s real — that could imply that he’s talking to someone who doesn’t know or believe whatever he’s talking about is real.)

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3) DIALOGUE TAGS

Tags. Tags, tags, tags! Tags are so important! Tags are brilliant for clarifying and identifying exactly how your character is speaking and how they intend for the statement to come across. If you ignore every other tip in this post, don’t ignore the tag! There are so many different words you could use instead of said that give life and context to your lines. Muttered, mumbled, yelled, shouted, exclaimed, whined, groaned, whispered, and a ton ton ton more. Use these to your advantage, like an outline for your dialogue. The tag is undoubtedly the easiest way to make your lines come across the way you want them to.

Here’s the examples with different tags! “I know it’s real, I saw it!” Nico defended. “I know it’s real… I saw it,” Nico mumbled.

Don’t be afraid to move your tag around, either! Sometimes, in order to make your conversations less repetitive, moving your tags are nice. You can put them at the beginning, middle, or end! (Middle tags are my favorite, I use them a whole, whole lot…)

Here’s the example sentence with a tag at the beginning and middle. Nico growled: “I know it’s real, I saw it!” “I know it’s real…” Nico muttered. “I saw it.”

Don’t forget, tags don’t always have to be how they’re speaking. It can also be what they’re doing or how they’re acting, which can be just as telling as other tags. (I use action tags sooooooo much. Action tags in the middle of dialogue is my jam.)

The example sentences with action tags: Nico crossed his arms, huffing deeply. “I know it’s real, I saw it!” “I know it’s real…” Nico averted his gaze, staring down at his shoes instead. “I saw it.”

Or, you can mix them both! An action tag plus how they’re speaking for maximum impact and description.

Here’s the example sentence with both! Nico rolled his eyes, hissing: “I know it’s real, I saw it!” “I know it’s real…” Nico uttered, poorly stifling a shudder. “I saw it.”

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4) DESCRIPTION

Describing the way your character looks, moves, speaks, etc etc before and after the line can further help your readers know how they feel about what they’re saying. This is especially important if the character is not the main character and doesn’t have internal dialogue. Body language can explain things voices can’t or won’t. You can explore putting these descriptions before the line, after the line, in the tag, or after the tag. Whatever you prefer!

Here’s the sentence with descriptive sentences with it. I did one before the line & tag and one in the middle! He was practically fuming, his eyebrows knitted so closely together they looked like a single strip of hair. His eyes were flicking between his friends like he was trying to determine if they were joking, blue irises blurred with a rage-fueled haze. Nico finally rolled his eyes, hissing: “I know it’s real, I saw it!” “I know it’s real…” Nico uttered, poorly stifling a shudder. His eyes never left the floor, and he looked smaller, younger as he spoke. His breaths weren’t exactly even, but they weren’t too quick, either. “I saw it.”

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Look at those two very different scenarios we got out of the same base line! This is the power you hold, folks, the power to un-bland your dialogue and make it into something intense and memorable for your readers! The power to make it portray exactly what you want it to portray! No more worrying how your readers took that line, because you set in stone how it was presented.

Remember, making a paragraph like that for every line might get tiring or repetitive to read. Sometimes tags alone are good enough in fast-paced or long conversations, and sometimes, if the dialogue makes it clear who is speaking, the line can suffice by itself!

If you have any writing tip requests, drop them in my inbox!

[neptunes-sol-angel]

Pick the picture(s) that you're drawn to the most, then scroll down for its corresponding message about the pov of your spirit guides and their message to you

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Pile One

I feel like your relationship with your guides is like “hide and seek”. They have an old presence in your life. Even if you are just now beginning your spiritual journey or are just now having the urge to seek out more about them and who they are, it seems as if they have always been in your life, and already have a connection or have had close contact with you. Specifically when you were a kid. Perhaps you’ve had “imaginary friends”, repetitive encounters with the same person or entity in your dreams, or have parents who recall you being distracted and smiling a lot at what appears to be mundane things as a baby. I call this hide and seek, because it’s like a lot of your occultic knowledge or experience psychic gifts were things that you’ve already learned as a child, but were conditioned to move away from for whatever reason. Your stunted relationship with your guides could appear in interests that you also had to separate from, like studying mythology, an interest in plants but also marine animals, gaming, drawing comic book characters, collecting items for yourself but stopping because someone considered that as not intellectual or important, and even crafting things yourself, regardless of how good you were at it, but because it gave you peace and happiness. Your guides see you as their family, they protect you like they are your parents, because their love for you is like having a child. They love it when you’re being silly and they love to sneak in silly things for you, to let you know that they’re here and when something is going to be ok. Maybe you use dark humor frequently as a way to cope with something that you’re struggling with or when you think about the ways that you’ve been let down in the past. You joke that way because you feel that it’s the only way to have some control in a situation that you predetermined will go down hill and be the end of you. You could talk to yourself or talk about your life in a way that is self-loathing and impeded, but your guides work and send you messages meant to bring you back up whenever you’re losing your determination to keep going. They’ll joke with you, but not in a way that encourages you to lose hope or to fail in seeing the good in yourself. It’s more like instead of showing you to laugh at yourself, you laugh at your mistakes, or you laugh at how crazy other people can be when they displace their negative inner feelings onto other people to show that it has nothing to do with who you are, what you do, or what you look like. Money is strong in this pile. This could be a message saying that you won’t have to fear about money forever and that a financial breakthrough is going to happen for you and you’re going to be financially stable doing something that you love or are currently building to support your living situation. However, mainly, I’m getting that in your spirit guides’ eyes, they’ve watched you grow up feeling less than because you didn’t grow up with a certain luxury, maybe you grew up in poverty, felt insecure about the things that seemed so easily accessible to everyone but you, or don’t know what it’s like to have a loving parent, but your guides have always seen you as a rich person and it has nothing to do with material items. They see you as brilliant, you work so hard for what you have and you’ll see the results multiply in the future, even if you struggle to find the right words for yourself–You always know what to say to others about stuff that they struggle to see within their own lives.

Pile Two

Your strongest clair could be clairaudience. If not, then it feels like you guys are good with picking up things by what people or say, or you have a strong intuition for what isn’t visible or said, but you have a poor time going forward with your intuition. When you get “right”, you tend to go left, then regret what you find out because you didn’t listen to what was initially divinely given to you. Your guides are nature beings, you can connect with them through plants but also relics or shrines. I keep getting inanimate objects, so you could have a few deities that govern planets, like moon goddesses watching over you. I feel that the connection that you have with your guides is like Yue from Avatar: The Last Airbender. You mirror each other and embody dark feminine energy. They’re gentle, ancient, and wise. People think that all spirit guides are like that, but no. Guides have personalities of their own, and not all are good. They see you as loving, maybe too loving, meaning you love without boundaries which could cause you some pain and a lot of repressed anger. You may not like to be perceived or put on a pedestal, but they do, because they truly see what’s in your heart. You just need guidance. They accept you for your good and bad traits, but it doesn’t mean they don’t lead you into improvement and learning to take accountability. You can be sweet, but you can also be bitter. They feel hurt when they see that you’re hurting, but they don’t want you to hold on to bitterness because people that harmed you will see that again and it’s not your business as to when. I will say that this isn’t to mistake them as peace and turn the other cheek, because they are not. They are wrathful behind the scenes towards people who hurt you or even think about hurting you. They’re very protective over your life, but there are some things you have to do to look after yourself since you guys are from two different worlds. This pile feels extremely hazy. They say that you are so smart, beautiful, and talented, but you have trouble seeing this and it pains them. You have potent manifesting abilities that range from making things happen yourself with your skills to knowing how to conjure with spirituality. It’s like you can create and create, but that’s still not enough for you, even when you are likely to top the latest thing you achieved. You need to learn how to rest and also be okay with yourself. There’s this habit of working and studying a lot for credentials, but still feeling less confident, leading you to give your power away to people who are boastful. This is a problem if you are psychic and are trying to find your way in spiritual communities or communicating with other spiritual people. Stop falling for words that convince you that someone knows more occultic knowledge than you or about your own personal journey and intuition. This is also a message for people to stop shying away from making content or starting a business in the occult because you fear that other people are better than you when that isn’t true, and stay away from people who influence you to think like that because they are not your friends or someone to trust.

Pile Three

You guys could have a lot of ancestral type spirits in your team and are probably reincarnations of ancestors in your past bloodline. You guys are cycle breakers and reapers of work and good karma that’s been gained in the spiritual world, meaning lots of inheritances, especially if you have passed down closed spiritual practices. This pile reminds me of the 4h-10h axis in astrology, each house rules over many different things but what sticks out that relates to this reading is the fourth house dealing with ancestors and the 10th house dealing with your public reputation. A lot of celebrities are famous because they have strong ties with their ancestors who are well respected spirits. People in this pile are destined for blazing success and fame. This can reveal itself in different professions, that could be but are not limited to, writers, actors, singers, entrepreneurship or something related to public speaking. Even though I feel practitioners and believers of spirituality in this pile, especially since this is a tarot reading, there’s a lot of skepticism here. There’s not enough trust or belief and this could be upsetting to your guides, they’re able to see things beyond your present reality which could make them patient, you could even be an impatient person, but it seems like both of you need to allow time to do its thing. Your guides see what you’re capable of, and before you are finally able to see it if you don’t already, they don’t want you to become arrogant and feel like potential is enough to back you up. They believe in putting in the work. They also see that you’re traditional even though you don’t want to be. You guys could be raised around a religion where witchcraft is shunned upon, and speaking about ancestors is discouraged which could explain the impatience. This could also be interpreted as you seeing this success but frustration over how far away it feels or how impossible it could be, and it’s like they see you as being dramatic or frantic about things that are going to inevitably work out. There was a message that I channeled for pile one and didn’t mention but I’m receiving it strongly here instead. It’s like things could be taking their time because you have to learn self-control. They don’t want you to let money and social climbing get into your head and make you forget where you come from, humility, and being in community with others. The fame and success isn’t given for you to hoard, but so that you can continue spreading the blessings to others, especially in your family.

[llamagoddessofficial]

Are you being followed by local siren that, rather than eat you, visits you frequently to chat? Do they leave gifts, sing to you, get upset that you see visitors, or seem a little too affectionate? Do you suspect that they're being more than just friendly with you? You aren't crazy, sirens falling in love with humans is much less rare than it sounds. It's important to know the steps before it's too late, as sometimes, overzealous siren lovers will disappear with a human mate forever. Here's your helpful guide to navigating that sticky situation.

Remember that all siren species have a key courtship method that, generally, will be their main method of flirtation. Be sure to research your siren to catch any early signs of affection, and equally, to be certain you aren't accidentally encouraging their feelings by engaging in this behaviour with them. Some examples of siren courtship methods include; - Singing (cetacean sirens, eg dolphins and whales) - Gift exchange (cave dwelling sirens, eg moray and grouper) - Food sharing (deep/cold sea sirens, eg leopard seal and oarfish) - Asking you to 'take care of their skin for a little while' (specific to pinnipeds/selkies) - Roughhousing, wrestling or 'play fighting' (open ocean predators, eg sharks, marlin, tuna)

A singular display of these behaviours doesn't necessarily constitute flirtation. Though repetitive displays could imply romantic feelings, sirens are intelligent and sentient, and they might just enjoy your friendship!

Should your siren ever start to discuss life in the ocean, make sure to firmly state your preference for life on land. No matter what they say, do not express any interest in living in the sea. They may misconstrue this as a sign that you'd prefer being with them.

Discuss your loved ones on land. Many sirens also have strong familial ties, and understanding you have your own family bonds will make them unlikely to suddenly kidnap you.

Once you're certain they're flirting, be sure to confront them directly and let them down easy. Sirens place a great deal of importance on mutual affection and respect between couples, and oftentimes a gentle rejection is all that's needed to avoid misunderstanding.

Disregard the above if your suitor is a cecaelia. Cecaelia are highly territorial and possessive over their chosen mate, and do not change their minds. Rejecting a cecaelia may cause them to act irrationally to 'secure' you. See the cecaelia handbook for further information.

Be extremely wary of Wanderer sirens. 'Wanderers' are social sirens who have somehow lost their pod, whether through death, accidental separation, or outcasting. If your siren is only ever seen alone, they may be a wanderer. Social sirens will quickly mentally deteriorate without a unit- they may be using you to fill an emotional void, and they can quickly become highly jealous and aggressive. It is essential to emphasise, when rejecting them, that you still consider them a friend. These sirens require a lot more care and direct intervention to avoid disaster; consider calling the siren helpline on xxxx-xxx-xxx.

The above warning does not apply to solitary sirens, such as sharks. They travel great distances alone and possess the mental fortitude for isolation and rejection. Don't let the stereotypes fool you; generally, sharks are some of the safest sirens to interact with.

[heexseung]

꒰ 🌧 ꒱ ┄ ❛ dark academia ；caeruleum ❜

* pairing: vampire!heeseung x afab!reader

* tags: smut, fluff, romantic, human!reader, degradation (m. receiving), praise (m. receiving), mentions of free use, handjob (m. receiving), overstimulation (m. receiving), bratty!heeseung / switchy!heeseung if you squint, cunnilingus, body worship [kinda] (f. receiving)

* summary: because you two were loud last time, rumours have been spreading around about you two, causing you to receive a lot of unwanted attention from your peers.

* word count: 10k

* a/n: hello babes !! omg i almost forgor about this- but i DIDNT SAUR ENJOY THIS REPOST <3333 tysm for all ur support i wish u the loveliest days ahead c: and if you wish to come drop by my twitch streams, you can dm me and ill gib u my link ehheeheheheh ok thanks baiii

Even on weekends, you'd typically spend all of your free time cooped up in your tiny dorm, studying. Your timetable consists of waking up, getting ready, going to classes, studying and sleeping. You don't really do anything else and you don't really go outside much either.

It's not that you're in love with learning, although you do like learning — it's just that you don't really have anything else to do. Nothing interests you and oftentimes, you'd get so bored that you just end up thinking, well, the books are right there. Might as well do some studying. At least it'll give me something to do.

You thought about going outside and seeing the world; the world that is so unknown to you and many other humans out there, the world that any human would be extremely lucky to see… yet you can't bring yourself to step outside of your dorm unless it's for classes. You wish you had more courage to do so but after your first day here, you decided that it's best to lay low and not bring any attention to yourself. After all, your existence here is already controversial enough.

Thus, you live your life like this. It's boring and repetitive… but it's not like you're doing anything to actually change it. Plus, being here is something that you've always wanted to do ever since you were a kid, so it's not all bad and despite the less than ideal treatment you've got during your time here, there's still nowhere else you'd rather be at.

Besides, the isolation, gossip and rumours don't bother you much anyway. It'll never be as bad as the first week and you're thankful that everyone here usually lets you be — that is, usually.

Lately, you've come to notice that people are gossiping about you again but you're not sure why. You can't really hear what they're saying nor can you really ask someone about it… but you doubt it's because you're human, they've already gossiped about that on your first week here.

Maybe it has something to do with your lab partner, Heeseung. After all, the gossip did start right after the day you hooked up with him. But you doubt it.

Speaking of your lab partner, you wonder where he's been all this time. It's been a couple of days since you last saw him, he didn't even come to class two days ago. You hope he's okay.

You don't think you'll see him today either. After all, you both only share one class together, Intermediate Alchemy, and you don't have that class today. Even so, for some reason, there's a part of you that hopes to see him today anyway, maybe because he's the only person who's actually kind to you here. Everyone else would just ignore you.

As you walk down the hallway to go back to your dorm, the faint sound of an unfamiliar melody stops you in your tracks. You do a double-take, is what you're hearing what you think you're hearing?

It is.

It's the piano.

Someone's playing the piano, and beautifully so. Such beautiful and delicate melodies played with such grace, you can't help but think to yourself, a complex piece like this must take days to learn how to play. Who's playing it? And what piece is this?

Thus, you follow the faint sound of the grand piano, hoping to find the talented person playing it. Besides, you're in no rush anyway.

After a few seconds of walking, you find yourself standing in front of a closed classroom door. The sound of the piano is still a bit hard to hear properly but you don't want to open the door and disturb the person playing so you press your ear against the door, trying to listen to the piano piece as discretely as you can.

Thank God the hallway is empty or else there'd be more weird rumours about me, you can't help but think to yourself while silently chuckling.

But all too quickly, like less than a minute or so, the melodies stop playing. You wait for a few seconds to see if they'd continue but instead, you hear the faint sound of footsteps coming closer to you. You barely have enough time to detach yourself from the door and look unsuspicious before the door suddenly opens and an annoyed looking Heeseung peeks out.

However, his expression quickly changes to a surprised one as he sees you standing there like a deer caught in headlights. Now with his eyes wide and his eyebrows raised, he opens the door a bit more as he looks at you. A moment of silence passes by until you awkwardly clear your throat to break the silence.

"Um, hi," you say to him, hoping that he's not annoyed at you for listening in on him.

"Ah… hi…" he shyly says. His left hand scratches the back of his head as his eyes move away from you, but only for a moment. "Sorry, I, uh… I thought you were... one of those people."

His tone is sharp and annoyed and he rolls his eyes as he says the last two words but then he looks at you again and gives you a smile that reaches his eyes.

You reply, "No, no. I'm sorry I… kinda listened in on you."

"Kinda?" He asks with a teasing tone, his smirk is evident.

You laugh in response. It's short but the lightheartedness of the laugh still manages to dissipate the awkwardness between you two. Heeseung leans against the door frame with a smile and softly says, "It's okay."

And then he pauses. It feels as if some words are meant to be spoken here, right at this moment, but there's only silence as he stares at you. A couple of seconds later, he continues, "Um… do you wanna come in?"

Hell yeah. You've never seen this room and you're curious.

It seems that your facial expressions tell him your answer loud and clear. He gives you a bigger smile, the kind of smile that one can't stop from appearing even if they tried, and takes your hand in his to pull you into the room with him. His hand feels slightly warmer than yours and something that surprises you is the fact that his hand feels like it fits you more than your own. It makes you feel strange... knowing that even your own hands, hands that were created to fit perfectly into each other…

All your life, you've always thought that there's no way someone else's hands would ever fit into yours as perfectly as yours do but as his hand holds yours, guiding you to take a seat in front of the grand piano, you think to yourself, maybe I was wrong.

Brushing your weird thoughts away, you pull your hand away from his and look around the room. It's a bit dark in here because the curtains are closed but you can still make out what's inside the medium shaped room; some bookcases at the wall, a whiteboard at the front, some musical instruments at the left side and this grand piano at the right. Other than that, it's pretty empty which makes it appear more spacious than it actually is.

After putting your sling bag down on the floor beside you, Heeseung, now sitting next to you, starts playing a different tune than before and you watch as his pretty hands gracefully move from one key to another, you listen to the unfamiliar yet beautiful piece of composition.

Soon, the music grows in pace and intensity, you can feel the composer's passion as it goes on. Then it slows down to a soft and romantic pace, somehow reminding you of the beauty of nature despite being in a dark room with none, and then a moment later, it grows again until it eventually comes to a really slow and soft tune that reminds you of the gentleness of a mother bird singing to its nestlings. As you listen to him play, you feel like you're being kept at the edge of your seat, following the music as if you're a leaf in a stream of water. It's exhilarating, really. You didn't know music could do such a thing.

By the time he finishes playing, you're in awe of his talent in playing the piano, fully knowing that playing such beautiful composition takes a lot of time and effort. Before you could compliment him, he's already speaking, "Do you like it? It's called Dreams of Love by Franz Liszt."

"Yeah," you say, a bit breathlessly, just now realising that you've been holding your breath. "Wow, you're so talented."

His laugh is soft in your ears. "Thank you."

Turning to him, you look him in the eyes and say, "I didn't know you could play piano so beautifully."

Your words make him blush a bit; a soft shade of pink dusts his ears and cheeks — it reminds you a bit of the intimate moment you shared with him a couple of days before. As he murmurs a shy thank you, it becomes a bit awkward between you two again. Heeseung starts fiddling with his fingers and he opens his mouth as if to speak but he closes it back after a second or two.

Eventually, he does speak but his voice is devoid of all lightheartedness from before and his face shows a sorrowful expression. "Look," he sighs and turns to look at you. "I should apologise for the… uh… well, the last time, um, you know." He then gives a frustrated groan, burying his face in his hands at his failed attempt to communicate his thoughts to you. "I'm sorry, I- We… we shouldn't have done that, I'm sorry."

You can only stare at him in disbelief. "What?" You say, your tone sounding a bit too harsh for both of your likings.

Truthfully, his words hurt you, more much than you'd like to admit. In a way, you kind of gave him a part of you, you showed him your vulnerability and you let him touch you in ways you'd never let strangers or even regular friends do... and now he tells you he regrets it. It hurts and you feel a bit embarrassed. You enjoyed your time with him but unfortunately, you guess he doesn't feel the same.

Suddenly, Heeseung realises that what he just said is probably the worst thing he could ever say to you. He quickly tries to take it back, "Wait- nonono, I meant-"

But you're already standing up to leave, not really wanting to hear whatever else he has to say. As you move, he gets up with you, his tone starting to sound desperate as he calls out to you. "No wait, please, please don't leave. I don't think you understand me."

And to think that I thought we could actually be friends.

You might sound a bit dramatic but you can't help what you feel. Now your relationship with him feels weird and awkward. You just want to quickly leave.

Right as you're in front of the door, he grabs your arm as a last attempt to stop you. Calling your name again, he pleads with you, "Please listen to me, it's not what you think. I-"

With wide eyes, his breath hitches as he stops himself from continuing, a bit mortified at what he almost blurt out. You only give him a confused look with an eyebrow raised. After a moment of just staring at each other in silence, he finally breathes out a worried sigh and surprisingly rests his head on your shoulder while intertwining his hand with yours. But what's more surprising is the fact that you don't have the heart to push him away.

What a weird person, you think. First he tells me he regrets having sex with me and now he does this.

"I'm sorry. I'm a mess when I'm with you," he murmurs, his face heating up at the confession.

As much as your heart beats faster at his words, you can't help but ask yourself, why? You're just a human. Heeseung can't possibly like you, could he? He has many other suitors that would be more than elated to be with him. Maybe he means that you just make him nervous — you wouldn't be surprised if you do since you make many people here nervous by just breathing.

Just as you're about to say something, you hear footsteps coming near you both, along with the sound of people talking... surprisingly about you. Although you're not new to people gossiping and spreading rumours about you, it does pique your curiosity; you've always wondered what people say about you behind your back.

On the first week, you heard people saying that you came from a rich family that had relations with the university's administrative staff or that a supernatural family adopted you or that you're not really human. Those were only the light rumours. Sometimes, when walking to class, you'd hear people say that you're working undercover for the human government, that you're only here to destroy the supernatural space and that everyone should be wary of you.

It makes you a bit sad, to be honest, because those words couldn't be further from the truth. However, you don't particularly blame them; humans haven't exactly been nice to the supernaturals, so you try to not take offence.

This time, however, the rumours are something else and it seems to involve not just you but someone else too.

"There's no way that happened," someone irritatedly says. If you could see them right now, there's no doubt in your mind that they'd be rolling their eyes.

"I'm just saying what everyone else is saying," another person says, their tone more nonchalant than the other’s.

"God, I swear, rumours are so dumb, like Heeseung and Y/N fucking in the dorms, really?" Your eyes go wide at the revelation, is that what everyone's talking about? But how did they know? And why is it a huge deal if I get laid? It doesn't make sense to you.

The same person continues, their voice growing louder as they walk closer to where you're standing, "This sounds as ridiculous as the time when everyone was saying that Jake fucked 100 people."

"Ah, but this one could actually be true," the other person thoughtfully says.

"What? Don't tell me you actually believe-"

"There are people who said they heard them," they say as a matter-of-factly, their voice now growing fainter as they pass by you but you can still hear the change of tone in their voice, now sounding more intrigued, "They say she edged him a couple of times and he wouldn't stop begging her to fuck him." Chuckling, they continue, "Must be a fun time."

Heeseung buries his head deeper into your shoulder as they say that, his hair tickles your neck a bit but you don't mind. Plus, you're more focused on their conversation, so much that you almost don't feel his hand tightening his hold on yours.

At the same time, you hear the former laugh and say, "You're so fucking weird."

Their conversation doesn't stop there but that's all you're able to hear, they're too far for you now. However, you're pretty sure Heeseung can still hear them — after all, his hearing is better than yours could ever be. But now that you know what everyone's talking about, you understand why he said what he said. He's surely not fond of the gossip about you two. You feel a bit sorry about it and despite knowing that it's not really your fault that people gossip about you, it doesn't really make you feel better.

A while later, Heeseung finally speaks again but he still doesn't move away from you and his voice sounds grim, a contrast to his usual demeanour, at least from what you've seen. "Sorry. It's my fault. I should've been more careful."

You try to look at him, a bit confused at what he's saying but he's hiding his face from you so you instead simply ask him, "Huh?"

He takes a deep breath as if trying to gather his confidence. Then, he pulls away from you and you're now able to see his face clearly. Ah, so that's why he was hiding.

With an obvious blushing face, he says, "It's not that I regret it, of course not, it's just that I think we should've done it elsewhere because obviously, people could hear and it was so stupid of me for not thinking about that." He gives out a frustrated sigh and continues, his voice soft and sad, "I guess I got carried away... I'm sorry."

Another moment of awkward silence as you try to make sense of what's going on. When you finally do, you can't help but question him, your voice almost as soft as his, "Why are you apologising?"

Giving you a surprised look, he pauses for a moment as he contemplates his answer. "D-doesn't the gossip bother you?"

He looks so sad that you just can't help but tenderly hold his face, making him look at you as you reassure him, "Heeseung, people always talk about me. It's nothing new. If anything, I should apologise since you got dragged into it."

Quickly objecting, he blurts out, "No, it's my fault! If I would've been more careful- if I haven't been thinking with my dick instead of my brain, this wouldn't have happened and you wouldn't have hated me and everything would've been fine and-"

You've never seen him look so distraught before. Seeing him being so uncharacteristically talkative worries you because despite knowing little of him, you do know one thing; he's not the type to word vomit, he always thinks things through before he speaks his mind and when he speaks, his words are fully thought-out. He may stutter here and there but they'd still seem thought-out and planned. Now, seeing him not able to do so and just desperately speaking, trying to convince you that he's at fault... it just doesn't sit right with you. How long had this issue been on his mind? And to what extent does he blame himself?

"Heeseung, calm down."

But he doesn't. He seems to be fully inside his mind, blurting out words as much as he can as if he's blurting out days' worth of worries. You're not sure what to do to calm him down but in a state of panic and with your hands already on his face, you pull him close and kiss him, hoping that the shock would be enough to stop him from overthinking.

Fortunately, it works. He gives a soft muffled sound as your lips touch his and then everything gets quiet. Still, he doesn't kiss you back, most likely too shocked at your actions. The kiss itself isn't long, you don't let it nor need it to be — you pull back a few seconds later. Looking into his almost teary eyes, you apologise for the sudden kiss, "Sorry, I didn't know-"

You're pretty sure he wasn't listening to you because now the tables have turned; now, he's kissing you and the kiss he gives you is way different than your attempt to get him to calm down — it's intense, messy, desperate and so intoxicating that you almost forgot to kiss him back.

When you do kiss him back, his actions only become more desperate. His hands constantly move; first from his sides to your shoulder, then to hold your face, then to your arm as he pushes you against the door, then to your waist, almost as if he's trying to make sure that you're really here. His lips never stop moving to press open-mouthed kisses to yours and as he does so, a small part of you can't help but feel like he's offering every part of him to you through the kiss, stealing your breath away in the process.

Eventually, you both pull away, needing to breathe. For a while, you both stare into each other's eyes. Heeseung rests his forehead against yours, his lips a bit swollen as he pants and his breath feels hot against your lips.

After a moment of intense silence, he speaks, his voice sounding a bit hoarse and it's as if he's talking to himself rather than to you. "You don't hate me."

You reply, "Of course not. How could I?" Gently caressing his cheek with your thumb, you whisper, "You're the only person here who's been kind to me."

Something in his eyes changes — you're unable to pinpoint exactly what it is but you don't ask either. He gulps, still breathing heavily, still looking into your eyes and then asks you with a soft wavering voice, "Why did you kiss me?"

It isn't his question that catches you by surprise but the look in his eyes that make him seem like he's expecting or hoping for a certain answer. If you were to look away, you could answer him honestly; "it was to help calm you down" but you can't look away, not when he's staring at you so intensely, not when he looks like he's begging you to say something specific as he waits for your answer. Your breath hitches as you think, unsure of what to say to him.

But it seems that you were silent for way too long. Breaking eye contact with you to look at the ground, Heeseung takes a step back and his hand rubs the back of his neck for a short moment.

"Did you only kiss me to shut me up?" He chuckles after he says that but the slight bitterness in his voice is evident.

"I'm sorry, I panicked. I was trying to calm you down," you eventually say.

He simply stares at you as if you just said the most absurd thing ever; eyes wide, eyebrows raised, mouth slightly open. After realising that you're actually serious, he grabs your hand and slowly brings it to rest on his chest, giving you the chance to pull your hand away at any moment if you wish. "Can you feel it?" He softly asks.

You know what he's talking about — his heartbeat right underneath your fingertips... but you can't feel it nor hear it. Thus, you replace your hand with your ear, resting your head on his chest as you try to at least hear his heartbeat.

Thump thump, thump thump, thump thump.

It's faint but you can hear it... and it's beating quite fast for a vampire. You've heard that vampires have a slower heart rate than everyone else's and right now, you'd say his heart is beating pretty fast, just slightly above an average human's. You can feel his breathing too, it's a bit laboured.

When you pull away to look back up at him, you're greeted by a blushing Heeseung who asks you with a small smile, "Get it?"

Is he trying to say that you make him nervous?

Shaking your head no at him, you're still a bit confused as to what he's trying to convey. At your response, he sighs, runs his hand through his hair and then whispers to you, "How am I supposed to calm down when you're kissing me?"

That's when the realisation hits you. "Oh..." you whisper, now getting it.

"Yeah..." he whispers back then lightly chuckles. Placing his hand on the door behind you a moment later, he leans into you and continues in a low voice, "You wanna know how you can calm me down?"

That low voice makes you feel weird things, you just can't resist entertaining him when he speaks like that. "What?" You ask, your voice also low.

"You can hug me." Raising an eyebrow at him, you hum for him to continue, a bit surprised at the answer. "I like hugs," he continues with a boyish smile.

"You want a hug?"

With the same smile, he softly says, "Yeah."

"If you say please, I'll give you one."

He wastes no time. "Please," he says with a bright smile and hopeful eyes.

How could you say no to him when he looks so cute? So you hug him, wrapping your arms around his torso and resting your head on his shoulder. He immediately hugs you back, his grip on you a bit tight but you don't mind, not when he feels so warm and comforting.

After a long moment of just hugging each other, you can't help but playfully ask, "Are you calm now?"

"I don't know," he starts. "Maybe you can check my pulse to find out?"

You can practically hear the smirk in his voice as he says that. You're not sure what he's hoping to get out of it — maybe he just wants your hands on his neck... or maybe he just likes to tease you. Whatever it is, you can't help but roll your eyes.

Suddenly, a fun idea pops up inside your head and you nonchalantly reply, "Okay."

Grabbing his face with both of your hands, you pull his head back to look at his neck. As your hands move to make him look up, your eyes take in every millimetre of his neck, specifically the spaces underneath his jawline, trying to find a pulse. Fortunately, it doesn't take you a long time.

"W-wait wait wait wait-" He gasps as your tongue probes at his pulse, his hands now moving to grip your shoulders. You only did it to tease him — you like it when he's flustered, but surprisingly, you can actually feel his pulse underneath your tongue. Intrigued, you pause your actions to count his heart rate, as weird and funny as that sounds.

You're not really surprised when you feel it beating rapidly. After a few seconds, he gives out a shaky exhale and says, "Is this a normal thing humans do?"

You chuckle at his words and then quickly bite down on the spot. He gives out a choked moan in response and further tightens his grip on your shoulder. "Aw, is baby flustered?" You tease him, unable to help yourself.

He can only whine your name as your tongue starts swirling around the same spot.

"You're so responsive... I love it," you whisper to him, your voice making him shiver. "And to think, I'm only playing with your neck. Is it that sensitive?"

As you start sucking on the small bit of skin in between your teeth, his jaw moves in an attempt to answer you but you don't hear his voice at all — he doesn't speak, not even when you're done giving him a hickey, not even when you're done giving him three. Pulling back, you take a moment to admire the small bruises on his neck but as time goes by and nothing changes, you begin to realise something.

"Why aren't they disappearing?" You comment, a bit alarmed.

However, Heeseung doesn't seem that concerned. He shrugs it off and replies with half-lidded eyes, "Ah, it's fine, it'll go away eventually."

"Is that normal?" You ask, still a bit hesitant.

"Yeah, yeah. Don't worry."

Deciding to take his word for it, you continue leaving hickeys on his neck. He hums in approval, his breathing hot and heavy and you eventually lose count of how many you actually gave him. When you pull back to look at his neck again, it's already half-covered with small bruises; all of them still bright red.

Just the sight of it makes something inside you snap and you can't help but ask him, "You don't mind me touching you right, Hee baby?"

With his head a bit dizzy, Heeseung struggles a bit to speak, "N-no, you can... you can touch me all you want."

"I can touch you anywhere?" You smirk, already knowing what you're going to do to him.

"Anywhere you want," he softly replies.

At his words, your hands waste no time moving to his torso, touching every part of it from his shoulders, then to his collarbones, then to his chest. His breath hitches when your hands move across his nipples but you don't stop to play with them — you continue moving your hands down to his abdomen. As you do so, you ask him, "I can touch you here?"

"Mhmm." His eyes automatically close as he says that, wanting to focus on your hands touching his body.

Seeing him relaxed and full of anticipation at the same time only spurs you on and so, you move one of your hands to squeeze his ass. He gasps and jumps in response, not expecting that to happen.

"What about here?" Your teasing tone only seems to make him melt.

"Y-yeah," he breathlessly says as he rests his head on your shoulder, his hands now gripping your waist.

Further teasing him, you slowly move your hand from his ass to grip his dick through his pants. "Even here?" You ask him with a raised eyebrow.

He can't stop himself from moaning and pushing back into your hand at the contact. But before he could reply, you're already talking while feeling him up, "Wow, you're already kinda hard. Does this turn you on, hm? Being groped like a whore?"

Giving out another moan, he starts grinding into your hand as if to show you how turned on he is. He doesn't say anything but you can practically guess what he's thinking right inside his head; feel it, feel how hard you make me. You push your hand against his dick harder and he hisses in response. "You like that? Being my whore? Letting me play with your dick however I want, whenever I want?"

"Yes," he moans. "Just use me."

"Now, now. Where are your manners?" You ask as your other hand starts playing with his left nipple through his shirt.

At first, he stays quiet for a while, not wanting to answer you but as your fingers pinch his nipple, he jumps and squeaks out, "Please!"

"Please what?" You can feel his dick getting harder through his pants and just to tease him further, you play with his tip, pressing and swirling your thumb against it over and over again.

With a groan, he relents surprisingly quickly, "Please use me how-however you want. I really need your hands on me, please."

"I'm already touching you though?"

"No..." He trails off with a hiss. "Can I please take off my pants?"

As you feign thinking, he hurriedly continues, "Please, I need to feel your hands on my dick, please? I'll do whatever you want, I'm your whore. Just please touch me, it feels really good. I need it so much. Please."

"Needy today, huh?" It's a bit surprising, honestly, you were expecting him to give more of a fight based on the last time you hooked up, but nevertheless, he's still cute. Plus, it makes your job easier.

In response, he just hums, simply agreeing with whatever you're saying without a second thought. Satisfied with his pleas and answers, you tell him that he can take his pants off and he quickly does so, his movements hurried and sloppy, desperate to get it off as quick as he can. Once his pants are discarded on the floor like a metre away, you pull him into you by gripping his hips and then you pin him to the door right behind you.

Immediately, he leans against it and his hands go to grip your waist again but you quickly grab his wrists and pin them right beside his head. Leaning closer to his ear, you sternly tell him, "Keep your hands there, got it?"

He gulps and nods at your authoritative tone. You then take a good look at his dick since you didn't really get to last time — you notice that it's lanky, average girth, with a slight curve to the left and circumcised. It's also hard but that's already obvious. In a way, it suits him and you think it's pretty, just like him.

When you look back up at him, you can't help but smile at the shy expression he gives you. Whispering into his ear, you say, "You have such a pretty dick... but do you know how to use it?"

Biting his lip, he slowly shakes his head no. As your right hand go to unbutton his shirt, you continue, unable to mask the excitement in your voice, "Well that doesn't matter. I can always teach you how." You let your fingers brush along his shaft, your touch barely there as you continue, "And when you do learn, I might let you fuck me one day." The response he gives you is cute; he quickly nods his head and pleads with you. "Would you like that?"

"Yes," he gasps, trying his best to not buck his hips. "Please."

"Alright, baby." Finally deciding to give him what he wants and put him out of his misery, you spit on your hand and start stroking his dick. Your spit makes your hand move easily and after a few moments of stroking, he gives out a loud moan, throwing his head back when you suddenly squeeze his dick — hard.

"You want people to hear us again?" You teasingly comment.

He nods and replies, "Yes... wanna... let them know... how... good you make me... feel."

"How dirty." You can't stop your smile of fondness from appearing or the chuckle that comes right after.

"I'm... your whore... remember?" Despite being paired with gasps and moans, his remark still manages to come out playful.

"Go ahead then, baby." He whimpers as your hand starts stimulating his tip. "Let everyone know who's making you feel so good. Your voice is too pretty for you to be quiet anyway."

Your right hand finally finishes unbuttoning his shirt. Without wasting any second, you touch his bare skin, running your hand all over his torso. His body's response intrigues you; everywhere your fingers go, his skin beneath you twitches and you're just using your hands. Imagine using your mouth — luckily, you don't need to imagine since he's right there.

The sound of his moan is so loud this time that it almost echoes across the room if it weren't for the room having many carpets. And to think that all you did was lick his chest. Granted, you did pinch his nipple while tightly squeezing his balls as you do so but who cares? He's so fun to play with, you just want to keep him like this for hours... but unfortunately, you're pretty sure that class is about to start soon, which means many people walking through the hallways.

Thus, you pick up the pace, trying to get him to quickly reach his high. Your left hand quickly moves up and down his shaft, your right hand goes to fondle his balls and your mouth starts sucking on one of his nipples — you doubt he's going to last long since his body is so sensitive. And based on his constant moaning and twitching, you can tell that you're right.

As you continue, he suddenly speaks, "I... I can't get our first time out of my head. I-it's like- it's like you're... haunting me." He moans when you lightly bite down on his nipple, his hips accidentally bucking into your hand. "Every time I close my eyes... I remember it again... I see it vividly... and I... I want to do it again with you... Did you... put a love spell on me... or something?"

As he continues to talk, a small uneasy feeling makes itself known to you — the kind of feeling that makes you feel as if something is wrong. It makes you furrow your eyebrows in suspicion as to what it could possibly be... but as you look at the man in front of you, you quickly understand. Just one look at him and you can tell that he's not in his right state of mind and you're pretty sure that he's just blurting out whatever's coming to his mind at this time. You can't shake away the thought that whatever he's saying right now is too private. You don't believe you should hear this, at least, not right now.

Worrying that he might end up regretting whatever he's saying, you tell him, "Heeseung, I don't want to hear anything else come out of your mouth except those pretty sounds you make, okay?"

And just to be safe, you insert two of your fingers into his mouth. As your fingers press against his tongue, he hums in response, closing his mouth and then he starts sucking on them. His tongue swirls around your fingers as he looks at you with half-lidded eyes.

Your hand goes to abuse his tip, your thumb swirling the precum around and pressing down on it again and again while your other hand continues to keep his mouth busy. His body shakes at your actions and suddenly, he quickly pulls your hand away from his mouth to say something.

"I'm gonna cum, what if-"

"You can cum, Hee baby. Go on, cum for me. You can do that for me, right?" Your voice sounds so sweet that he just wants to do whatever you say.

"But it- it's gonna get messy..." he whines and trails off. Despite his worries, his hips start bucking uncontrollably into your hand, trying to catch his high anyway — he doesn't want to stop but a small part of his conscious brain still worries about how he'll clean up his mess.

"Don't worry, baby. We can clean it up," you reassure him. "Go on, be a good boy and cum for me. And keep your hands back up."

"Okay- I..." He puts his hands back up and sucks in a deep breath as he feels himself reaching his high. That conscious part of him from earlier disappears and now, he's almost chanting, "Thank you. Thank you thank you thank-"

The moment you start harshly sucking on his neck again, he's gone; with a loud and long moan, his hips thrust into your hand and streams of cum messily come out of him, getting all over your hand, onto your pants and even onto the floor. His body is shuddering and his eyes are rolled to the back of his head as your hand starts milking him for all he's got.

You coo at him, "Good boy, baby. Such a good boy for me."

"Please-" He squeaks, head thrown back against the door. You don't stop touching him though, not even when his streaks of cum stop coming out, not even when he starts uncontrollably trembling at every touch of your hand. One of your hands continues to quickly stroke his dick while the other fondles his balls, alternating from left and right. As you squeeze them, he gasps and whimpers your name.

"You're being such a good boy, baby... just taking whatever I give you." You start licking his chest, from his navel to his nipple. Heeseung shuts his eyes tight as his body continues to tremble against his will, his hands now in fists beside his head. As you play with his nipple, sucking on it and swirling your tongue around it, his back arches and he can't stop himself from thrusting in and out of your hand.

"You can cum for me one more time, right?"

He groans in response, nodding. "A-a... any... thiiing... f-for... y-you."

Letting go of his nipple to whisper in his ear, you say, "Right, you did say that you're my whore."

"Y-yes, yes, yes." He gasps.

So you continue touching and stimulating him until he cums again. Throughout it, he doesn't speak at all, only making pretty noises while his body trembles. It doesn't take long before he cums again. This time, it comes as a surprise — he didn't tell you that he's close. Perhaps he, himself didn't know that he was or maybe he wasn't paying attention, too busy being lost in his own bliss. Either way, based on his reaction, it seems that he's also surprised; he cums with a scream, his voice echoes throughout the room, his eyes tightly closed, and his hips stop moving but he's still trembling all over as another shot of his cum comes out of him.

So gorgeous.

You slow down your movements, not wanting to push him too much, until you eventually stop. Heeseung pants in front of you, looking helpless and blissed out.

"See, I knew you had it in you." As you slowly coax him back to reality, you slowly become aware of how uncomfortably wet your panties are. But you push that aside for now.

It takes him a moment to come back to reality and when he does, he still feels a bit dizzy. His hands go to grip your shoulder and waist for support and you hug him to soothe and comfort him, rubbing your hand on his back — the hand that's cleaner than the other. A moment later, he breathes out a soft thank you, feeling a bit spent.

"I'll... clean everything up," he breathlessly says while hugging you. You pat his head while his arms wrap themselves tightly around you.

"That's okay, baby. I have tissues in my bag. We'll clean it up together, yeah?"

He doesn't answer you and instead, asks for a kiss. Of course, you give it to him. How could you ever say no to this man? The kiss is unsurprisingly hot, heavy and messy, your tongues intertwine together just like your breaths. He moans into it and then pulls back to kiss your neck.

"Your turn?" He whispers into your neck, his breath hot against it. You close your eyes as he starts kissing and licking your neck, his tongue hot and wet swirling on a certain spot. You grab his shoulder as he continues, and then, a moment later, you feel his sharp fangs graze against your neck but before you could make sense of what's happening, he quickly pulls away, stopping himself.

"Sorry, can I-" He gives out a shaky breath. "I wanna... make you cum." He whispers out the last part. It was so soft that you almost didn’t hear it.

"You wanna make me cum?" You whisper back, your eyes still closed, now fully aware of the tension in between your legs.

"Yeah." His hands tenderly touch your body as he says that, going down from your shoulder to your breast and finally coming to rest on your waist.

"Sure."

He kisses you again but compared to your last few kisses, this one's short. Pulling away from you, he says, "We should- uh... change positions? Would it be easier for you?"

"Ah, yeah, okay." Despite your voice sounding nonchalant, your pussy throbs at the anticipation of finally getting the attention it craves. After you both change positions, with you now leaning against the wall and him in front of you, his hands go to unbutton your shirt and unhook your bra as he kisses you.

Gripping his hair, you pull him away from you — which earns you a moan. "Go fast, I think it's almost time for class."

"There's still tons of time," he reassures you. "Barely anyone has class in this building anyway. Don't worry."

Trying to reassure you, he gives you a smile and goes back to tenderly kissing your neck. It seems that there's a clash of wants — you just want to cum while he probably just wants to take his time with you. You're about to protest but his hands and mouth on your body make you change your mind, at least for now. With his hands kneading your breasts and his mouth slowly moving from your neck to your breasts, you give out a defeated sigh.

"Fine."

With a triumphant smile, he mumbles a thank you into your skin. His mouth is now sucking your left breast, his tongue swirling around your areola and the nub, making your pussy wetter by the second. The urge to touch your pussy grows as he continues his actions. One of his hands plays with your right breast while the other goes to unbutton your pants.

All of a sudden, he lightly bites down on your breast and you jump in response, unable to stop your moan from coming out. "Fuck, your mouth feels so good."

He moans too but his moan comes out muffled against your breast. After a while, your hand grips his hair and he hisses as you move his mouth to your other breast. "Keep going baby, you're doing so good. Such a good boy for me, aren't you?"

The praise only spurs him on, his movements now getting bolder. Wasting no time, he begins to kiss it and then lick it, until finally, he takes it into his mouth, harshly sucking on the mound. You hiss and arch your back in response. With your pants now on the ground, your legs start to feel cold but your core is still hot and wet, demanding attention.

Eventually, he finally moves on, leaving your breasts to kiss down to your navel. Every kiss he leaves you is tender yet hot against your skin, just like his hands on your body. Once he reaches your navel, he kneels down and as you let him put one of your legs over his shoulder, his face is now very close to your crotch. Even so, he still doesn't give your pussy any attention yet. Instead, he starts at your inner thighs, specifically the one on his shoulder, slowly licking up closer and closer to your heat as his hands continuously move up and down your thighs. He stops where your thigh meets your groin and starts taking a small bit of your skin into his mouth to suck and bite on it.

You let him leave a hickey there — it's not like you can't hide it anyway. After he's done, he pulls away to admire his mark on you with a small satisfied smile but just as you thought he'd finally start eating you out, he starts the same thing over again, except this time, on your other thigh. You groan, beginning to get frustrated.

He seems to find it amusing, given by the fact that you can feel him softly chuckling into your thigh as he kisses it. "Heeseung." Your stern yet breathless voice only makes him smirk.

"Hmm?"

"You're being a brat," you hiss at him.

Pulling away from your thigh, he looks up at you with a defiant smirk and coyly says, "I'm only taking my time."

But as he moves to continue his actions, your authoritative voice makes him pause and shiver. "Heeseung, I will literally slap you." You're in no mood to take things slow, you just want to cum. That's all you want — to finally release all this built-up tension in your pussy.

"Kinky," he mumbles with a pout. It's not because he doesn't like being slapped — it's actually something he's willing to try especially during sex as long as you like it, but he's just pouting because he didn't get to-

Giving a frustrated sigh, you say to him, "You can leave a hickey there after I cum, damn it."

His face lights up as you say that and his hand grips your thigh. "Promise?"

"Yes!" You hiss. "Now be a good boy and make me cum."

Wasting no time, he hums and nods at your command, moving his mouth to your clothed pussy. He buries his nose and mouth in your heat, you can't stop a moan from escaping at the contact. His mouth starts kissing you, over and over again as his nose bumps against your clit.

"Fuck," you mutter, your hands gripping his hair tighter as he starts licking a long strip. It's relieving honestly — your pussy finally getting the attention it so craves... but it's not enough. You want his mouth on you, without anything else in the way. Thus, you tell him to take it off and he hums, acknowledging your command... but after a while, your panties are still on and he hasn't made a move to remove it, he just keeps on slowly eating you out with a smirk. When you finally realise that he's doing this deliberately, you snap.

"Heeseung!" Your voice is louder than you expected. "Take them off, for fuck's sake." Then, as if your mouth is on auto-pilot, you continue, "Do you want me to fucking slap you, huh? Is that what you want? You want me to fucking snap, don't you? Want me to pin you down and fuck you till your brain doesn't work anymore?"

At your words, Heeseung feels a bit intimidated but he can't help but also feel turned on at the same time. He moans into you and as he pulls away to pull down your panties, you continue, "Finally starting to take me seriously, huh? You're such a fucking brat, I swear to God, Heeseung. You just want to get punished, don't you?"

"God, you're so wet," he moans into you when he finally buries his face into your pussy again, without your panties this time.

Finally feeling his mouth on your heat, you moan in relief, pushing his head closer to your pussy while leaning against the door. His tongue starts licking up all your juices while his nose continuously bumps against your clit. Then, he starts sucking it, causing you to arch your back. "Fuck. That's right baby, keep going," you say, your tone now way calmer than before.

He hums into you as he continues to eat you out just the way you like, swirling and pressing his tongue against your pussy, sucking it, slurping up all of your juices. Your free hand now goes to play with your breast, massaging it while stimulating your nipple at the same time. His cums smears on your breasts as you do so but you couldn't care less about being clean right now.

When he inserts his tongue into your core, you loudly moan, your hand squeezing your breast tightly. And as he continues, sliding his tongue in and out of you, your pussy starts tightening around it and you gasp, "Fuck, I'm getting close. Don't you dare stop, you little brat, you hear me? I know you're thinking about it."

Gripping his hair tightly, you grind his face into your pussy, using him like a toy as you keep up a steady rhythm. He doesn't mind, of course he doesn't. He did say that you can use him however you want. And to help you reach your high, his hand moves to stimulate your clit, rubbing it in circles.

Here it comes, the release you've been seeking; there's that familiar knot in your stomach and with the help of his mouth and hand, you finally reach your climax with a moan, cumming all over his face as you bask in your release. Heeseung continues eating you out throughout it, taking in all of your juices in his mouth, not letting a single drop escape. His movements grow slower as time goes by until he eventually stops and pulls away, only to leave that hickey he so wanted on your thigh.

By the time he's done, you've gained your consciousness back. Still breathing heavily, you caress his head and softly say, "Thanks."

He licks your thigh one last time and then gets up to kiss you, wrapping his arms around you in a hug while doing so. You let him, not really bothered by the taste of you in his mouth. But the kiss doesn't last long since you're still breathing heavily.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you," you say after pulling away from him.

"It's okay," he says, resting his forehead against yours, his breathing also still heavy. Your hands move to cup his face and with a swipe of your thumb, you collect your cum on his face and feed it back to him. His lips part when your thumb touches them, and he obediently sucks it without protest.

"Good boy," you praise.

You pull your thumb away from his mouth. As his arms unwrap themselves from you, you lean against the door and give out a heavy sigh. Looking back at him, you say, "We should clean ourselves up and get dressed."

With a nod, he agrees, going to get the tissues from your bag that was by the piano. When he comes back with it, you both clean up the mess you both made; first, you both clean yourselves — although Heeseung prefers to clean you more with his mouth than with the tissues, then, you clean the floor and the door that still had streaks of his cum on them, and finally, you clean your clothes.

It's when he buttons up his shirt, you notice something strange.

"The hickeys are still there," you mention, now alarmed again.

Heeseung also gets alarmed, quickly taking out his phone to see himself but then chuckles a second later when he sees how he looks through the screen. "Damn, I looked fucked up," he mumbles.

His hand grazes the still bright red bruises on his neck and his eyebrows furrow at them when he doesn't see them healing. He turns to you and asks, "Did you drink something?"

"What?" You question as your hands are buttoning your shirt.

"Did you drink a potion or something today?" He asks, still looking at himself through the screen, his eyes looking slightly dark.

You pause your actions as you try to remember.

Potion...

Oh!

You remember now. It was during Tuesday's alchemy class where Heeseung unfortunately wasn't there. You remember that your lecturer taught the class about a new potion. Apparently, it's a consumption potion which means it only works if you consume it and he so kindly let you drink some of it after he finished explaining its properties. The colour of it was a very rich shade of blue and it smelled like the ocean... but the taste was... unpleasant, to say the least.

His voice rings across your mind, "So what it does is that it drastically slows down someone's regeneration ability, not yours but anyone you touch. Use with caution, alright. Don't be killing anyone. That's against the law."

"Oh... yeah, yeah I did. During alchemy class yesterday," you say, continuing to get dressed.

"Was it blue?" He puts his phone back in his pocket and continues buttoning his shirt.

"Yeah."

"Ah... no wonder."

You expect him to continue speaking but instead, he keeps quiet and simply tries to smooth out the wrinkles on his shirt. Eventually, you ask him a question that's on your mind, hoping that he's not annoyed or angry at you for leaving too many obvious hickeys on his neck. "But what are you gonna do?"

Please don't be angry at me.

"Oh, for these?" He shows you his neck, tapping the bruises on it. Then, with a smirk, he continues, "I'll keep them. Thanks."

"Are you sure?" You stare at him, surprised at his response.

Nodding, he reassures you, "Yeah, It's no problem. It'll go away eventually."

For the second time today, you decide to take his word for it. However, you can't help but wonder how long the potion's effect will last — maybe a couple of days? Hopefully not.

When you both finally finish making yourselves look presentable again, the comfortable silence you both share suddenly turns tense and awkward. You're unsure why but the reason makes itself known to you as you make your way to grab your bag.

Heeseung calls out your name. He sounds a bit nervous as he softly asks you, "What are we?"

Grabbing your bag, you think about it for a couple of seconds. "Hm, I guess... friends with benefits?"

"Oh..." He slowly nods, looking down at the floor.

"Unless you don't want that. This can be a one-time thing if you want."

"Nono, I-" He quickly says. "I just..." Taking a deep breath, he brings his head up to make eye contact with you and continues, his voice soft and a bit unsure, "I want something more..."

You look at him as soon as you hear that; he stands there, still near the door, with his posture straight and his face serious as he looks at you. "What?" You can't help but say.

Gathering all his courage, he nods to himself and continues, "I want to date you."

Surprise is the only word that describes how you feel right now. Never in a million years would you ever think that someone here actually likes you, much less want to date you. You've never even thought about dating a supernatural before either. And although you do like Heeseung... you're still unsure if you like him more than just a friend or not. Unsure of how to reply to his sudden confession, you end up just staring at him.

At your lack of response, his cheeks begin to turn pink again and says in a shaky voice, "If that's... a bit too much then it's alright." He gives you a reassuring smile, hoping that you don't feel pressured to reciprocate his feelings. "I don't mind just being friends with you."

"Heeseung, I'm sorry, I'm not too sure," you begin. "I mean, you're the only person who's been kind to me here. I'm not sure if I like you that way... and I wouldn't want you to fall in love with me, only for me to realise later that I never really liked you more than a friend in the first place."

Silence fills the air again as he takes in your words.

"Would you... give me a chance, at least?" He finally says. "Like at least let me take you on a date? Please?" As he looks at you with such cute and innocent eyes, you find yourself smiling at him. "I can show you the world if you want..." and ever so softly, he says his next sentence, "If you promise to show me yours."

His voice sounds melodious as he says that — you could hear the genuineness and hopefulness in his voice. And as you both stand there, just staring at each other, you begin to think to yourself; why not?

"Where would you take me?"

His face immediately lights up as you say that and you can't help but laugh at his cuteness.

"Anywhere you want," he replies with a bright smile, the kind of smile that could make the whole world stop and stare.

"Okay," you softly say, walking closer to him and giving him your hand.

For the first time in your life, you find yourself feeling excited about leaving your dorm, you find yourself anticipating to explore the world that you were so hesitant to get to know. It's as if your worries about laying low suddenly don't exist. And even though you're not really dating, you still can't stop the wide smile on your face as he meets you halfway, taking your hand in his and lacing your fingers together.

"Thank you," he whispers, bringing your hand to his lips to place a soft kiss on it.

"Thank you," you reply.

"For what?" He looks at you with a smile, slightly confused at your words.

Many things — for being kind to you, for being your friend, for not judging you just because you're human, and honestly, many more. But what comes out of your mouth is a simple, "Not every human has the honour of having a potential vampire boyfriend."

His laugh is bright and rich, music to your ears. His eyes crinkle as he laughs and his smile is wide. Just the sight of him laughing wholeheartedly makes your heart feel full. When he finishes laughing, his demeanour changes a bit to a playful one, leaning closer to whisper in your ear with that low voice and that signature boyish smile, "I can be much more than a vampire boyfriend."

"I have no doubt about it," you say to him as you try to calm down your beating heart.

Grabbing your bag from you with his other hand, he says, "Let me walk you to your dorm."

"Okay."

As you both reach the door, you take a look back and scan the room, just to make sure that everything's as it should be. You look back at him when you're done; he has his hand on the door as he asks you, "Ready?"

Nodding at him, you let him open the door and walk you to your dorm, your hands entwine together the whole walk.

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Hi there! First of all I just discovered your blog and it helped me understand a lot about autism. I was recently diagnosed and I had maaany questions, and going through your blog gave me some answers. So thank you so much for your dedication! ✨

I was wondering if you could share some stuff about burnouts? I saw the post of the signs of burnouts, but I was wondering if you had information about what are the common causes or how to deal with them?

Have a great day/night!

Hi there,

I found some information in burnout recovery and causes:

Text

Signs

* Lack of motivation (hard to care about goals when everyday life is overwhelming)

* Loss of executive functioning abilities (decision-making, organization, etc.)

* Difficulty with self-care

* Easier to reach overload or meltdown

* Loss of speech, selective mutism

* Lethargy, exhaustion

* Illness, digestive issues

* Memory loss

* Inability to maintain masks or use social skills

* Overall seeming "more autistic" or stereotypical

* May have period of high energy before collapse

causes

* Passing as neurotypical / suppressing autistic traits

* Doing 'too much', too much stress

* Aging: needing more downtime, having less energy

* Changes, good or bad (relationships, jobs, living arrangements, belongings, environment, routines...)

* Sleep deprivation, poor nutrition, dehydration

* Illness

* Sensory or emotional overload

strategies

* Time

* Scheduling breaks, managing spoons

* Leave of absence

* Stimming, sensory diet

* Exercise

* Reassured and supports

* Routines

* Better environment/job/etc.

* Boundaries, saying 'no'

* Dropping the mask/façade

* Solitude

* Absolute quiet

* Creative projects, passions, special interests

* Paying attention to reactions and your body

Here’s another Infograph I found:

Text

Sleep and rest as much as you can. We often need more sleep than allistics and it is especially crucial to meet our need for extra sleep while in burnout.

Reduce your energy expenditure. Within reason, reduce social time and the amount of information you are taking in on a daily basis. This often means saying no, even to things you think you

"want" to do. (ex. re-watch TV rather than start new shows)

Engage in special interests at a comfortable and sustainable level. Rather than doing in-depth research, try decorating your space with posters or objects related to your special interests or watching a TV show related to one of them.

Focus on your hypersensitivities. Use earplugs/ headphones/sunglasses, use dishwashing gloves and a mask while cleaning, wear comfortable clothes, eat safe foods, leave spaces that are too bright, loud, or fragrant.

Stim!! MOVEMENT: dance, rock, tap, flap, stretch, walk, stim toys.

TOUCH: soft fabric, self-massage, play with hair. VISUAL: watch

TV/ movie, kaleidoscope, coloring book, satisfying videos

AUDIO/VOICE music, singing, echolalia. REPETATION/SORTING: solitaire, puzzles, sorting objects, repetitive doodles, counting.

VERY slowly create systers/routines that automate your care needs and implement them very slowly. This can look like visual aids, timers, lists, bullet journols, weekly routines, Expect if to take time and trial and error to get into these habits. Pick I-2 habits or systems to implement at a time, starting with the ones you're most excifed about.

Autistic burnout and Complex PTSD have a lot in common and executive dysfunction often increases during burnout, so resources made for these can be very helpful.

Burnout Recovery

I hope this helps. Thank you for the inbox. I hope you have a wonderful day/night. ♥️

[stupidlittlespirit]

Good Boy

Rating: NSFW (very!), mdni Type: Longform Tags: webcam show, voyeurism, sex work, masturbation, female body described, one use of gendered language ('ma'am'), virgin!Reigen, pathetic!Reigen, Word count: 5797 My other works: here on tumblr and here on Ao3! Reigen finds your webcam show and proceeds to be a pervert.

“Should I send my boss a video of what I'm busy doing?” You ask, rocking your ass back and forth. The skirt lifts when you bend down and Reigen catches a peek of your underwear when you lean over a little more. You turn until your back is to the camera and then begin to lift the skirt higher and higher as you dance, tantalisingly slow.

Reigen squeezes the base of his cock and smirks to himself. “I wouldn't bother.”

He finds the video by complete accident.

Reigen is scrolling aimlessly through the feed of his favourite porn sites, rows upon rows of explicit content at his fingertips as he trolls through videos he's seen so many times before he has them practically memorised. They don't do anything for him anymore.

He's bored of the repetitive scenarios and over the top acting, and if he has to watch another shitty, stilted skit again he's going to stop jerking off for the rest of his life in protest.

Well. Maybe he won't go that far, but he's certainly fed up with the lack of excitement.

It's closing in on one 1AM on a Friday night and Reigen is spending yet another weekend all on his own. Serizawa is busy with school friends, Dimple isn't in the mood to find a host body for a night out and Mob is likely fast asleep. If he's honest, even Reigen knows how pathetic he'd look if he asked a kid to spend his afterschool time with him.

The only other person he has to ask out is you. You're the newest member of the team and even though you've been out with all of them a fair few times, tonight you'd dismissed his suggestions with the simple excuse of being busy.

You hadn't specified what you were going to be busy with, but Reigen supposes it isn't really any of his business. He can't deny his disappointment, though.

He'd hoped you might jump at the chance for one on one time with him, and whilst he stares at the screen of his computer, desperate for something to make him feel less lonesome, the sting of your rejection is only softened slightly by the alcohol he's had for dinner.

At his feet, there are several cans of chuhai. Every time he drinks alone in his apartment, he finds that he only has two options when no one wants to be around him. One: get so wasted that he passes out before he can think too much about his misery or two: jerk off to prevent himself from thinking about his misery.

Right now, Reigen is reasonably drunk, he's totally lonely, and most of all, he's horny. He supposes he may as well achieve both outcomes at once tonight. He isn't looking for anything in particular right now, just something that might take the edge off and help him sleep a little better. His expectations of finding anything particularly exciting are very low.

However, perched at his PC, shirtless and in his sweatpants, Reigen is starting to think it might be a waste of time. Nothing seems of interest to him. It's either too weird or too boring, and he wonders if he might be better off just calling it a night.

In a last ditch attempt, he switches from his typical porn site to a newer one. One he hasn't tried before. Usually he'd watch something pre-recorded, but he faintly remembers reading something on a forum somewhere about the newest trend of cam girls.

The post had detailed how viewers could make requests for a performer to do whatever they wanted, all live and in real-time, and he has to admit it sounds a lot more interesting than viewing the same video over and over.

He clicks the first link that pops up from his search.

The website is simplistic and once he's clicked through his verifications, Reigen begins to scan the rows of people on offer. There are women and men and everything in between, but every time he selects one, the performer seems bored and uninspired. Sometimes, they're not even there.

Reigen tries the second page. He's halfway down it, not really paying full attention anymore, when abruptly one of the little preview windows looks vaguely familiar.

Squinting, he leans in to get a better view to try and place where he's seen that room before. The decor in the thumbnail looks like a place he's seen before, but he can't quite put his finger on where.

Reigen clicks it and at first, he doesn't quite believe what he's seeing. That decor, the colour of the walls, the furniture…. It's your apartment. He knows because he's been there; he's crashed on that very floor after several messy nights out, right beside the cushy bed that the camera is centered on.

He's absolutely, definitely, a hundred percent sure that that's your room.

For a second, he worries that someone might have snuck into your apartment and hidden a spy camera amongst your things without your knowledge. It's not unheard of for creeps to conceal webcams in places to catch footage of unsuspecting victims and although Reigen likes his fair share of voyeuristic content, he would never watch something that wasn't clearly a purposely set up scenario.

He reaches for his cell phone where it rests besides his keyboard, fully intending to call you and make you aware, when suddenly you're walking into frame and sitting on the bed, dressed only in your underwear, some sheer stockings and a ridiculously tiny little skirt.

You shoot the camera a coy smile and offer a little wave. “Welcome back, everyone.”

Reigen's jaw drops open.

You're on his fucking porn site.

You. Of all people.

Stunned, he watches you shift so that you can lie down on your bed, lounging leisurely on top of a thick, comfy looking blanket that covers your bedspread.

The lighting is low and moody, but there's a clearly a softer source of light emanating from somewhere behind the camera to ensure your half naked body can be seen properly.

Music is playing gently in the background, and beside the bed is a small table, on which rests a small selection of intimidating looking sex toys. There are a couple of interesting looking dildos, a chunky vibrator, and a few bottles of oil or something similar.

He watches you lean forward slightly to apparently read something on screen, your eyes scanning back and forth. Your tits press against the fabric of your bra as you shuffle up where you're resting, leaning forward to fiddle with what he assumes is your computer.

Reigen’s throat suddenly feels very dry.

Barely five hours ago, you'd been wishing him a nice weekend as you'd left the office, heading off for home to spend the weekend doing something that didn't include him. When you'd told him that you'd been too busy to go for a drink with them, he hadn't thought much of it.

Perhaps you'd been lying. Perhaps the real reason you'd said no had been to go and do this....

Briefly, he wonders if he's seeing things. Perhaps the room is simply similar to yours and you're not really you at all. Just another person who looks exceptionally similar.

He decides he needs to make sure that what he's stumbled across is the truth and not an unbelievably accurate illusion.

Reigen reaches for his phone again. Your face is just out of frame now and he can't be 100% sure that it's really you, but he's certain that he needs to find out. To test his theory, he types out a simple text, something casual to ensure that you'll have no idea that he's watching, and waits to see what happens.

[Reigen] - Hey, are you busy?

On screen there's a buzzing sound. You twist into a kneeling position to reach behind you and his blood runs cold. There's no way that it's a coincidence your phone is going off right now.

As he watches you shuffle back up to sit closer to the camera again, your pretty face comes into view and so does your cell phone, head aloft like a trophy. No doubt about it: this is no look alike.

You study your phone, reading the text and then glancing over to look at your audience. "Oh," You say, holding your phone up with a cheeky grin. “It's my boss.”

Underneath the video screen, there's a chatbox that's scrolling along, ticking upwards with each new message that pings through, and you look away from your phone to check it.

Several new chats pop up at your announcement and Reigen somehow manages to tear his eyes away from you to see what's being said.

What does he want? asks one viewer.

You laugh, soft and amused. “He wants to know if I'm busy.”

Your voice is softer than Reigen used to hearing it; teasing and intimate in a way that does something funny to his insides. A few more messages spin up in the chat:

is he cute?

Do you like him?

Would you fuck him?

Reigen swallows hard.

It's not like he hasn't thought about it. He's considered it several times, actually. In great, vivid detail. When he can't find any decent porn to get off too, he often finds thoughts of you wandering into his mind. Reigen knows it’s weird and unethical, but if no one else is aware then it's not like anyone can be hurt by it.

He's harboured a crush on you since the moment you'd walked into the office to drop off your CV and he hasn't known peace since. Every time you bend over to pick up files, he sneaks a peek at your ass. Whenever you brush up against him in passing, he prays he doesn't get hard. It's a nightmare.

When he's alone and he's given up on finding an ethical source of arousal for the evening, he’ll think about you in your office wear, or your underwear, or sometimes in nothing at all.

He's always had to imagine what you might look like naked and for some reason, he's never been able to get the vision to seem quite right. With nothing to reference, it's hard to know beyond the silhouette hidden by your clothes.

Until now, anyway.

You're leaning in close to look at the chat messages again, your tits pressed up against the thin fabric of your bra. They jiggle nicely as you move and Reigen feels his cock stir in his sweatpants. He reaches for the half-empty can of chuhai beside his PC and takes a swig to soothe his dry mouth.

“Oh yeah,” you say, biting down your lower lip. “Very cute. I'd fuck him anytime.”

Reigen almost chokes on his mouthful of fruity alcohol, spluttering awkwardly.

You begin to run your fingers up between the valley of your breasts, reaching over to toy with the lace cups of your bra and dipping your fingertips underneath the material to brush against your nipples.

“He's got such a great ass,” you whisper to the camera, biting down on your lip to stifle a smile. “I check him out all the time but he never catches me. What do you think he'd do if he did?”

Reigen's breath hitches. His face feels red hot at your confession and he knows that he's probably bright red, but can't believe what he's hearing.

The chat bumps up several rows, filled with suggestions and fantasies:

He'd punish you.

Probably promote you lol.

I bet he'd fuck you in the office.

“He would,” Reigen groans out loud to his empty room. “You have no idea how much he would.”

He's had plenty of daydreams about that exact scenario; bending you over his desk when everyone else has gone home for the day or letting you ride him while he sits in his office chair, slow and sweet until he fills you up. The thought drives him insane.

Almost of its own accord, his hand slips down to palm at his dick. There's a steadily growing wet patch on the front of his pants as pre cum begins to gather at the head and the slick friction of the fabric there only arouses him more.

“Ah,” you gasp happily as you pinch one of your nipples. “I wish.”

After a few seconds of touching your tits, you trace your hand up towards your collarbone and run your fingertips along them, back and forth slowly. It's teasing, erotic almost, and Reigen imagines your delicate fingers on his own skin, tickling along the soft flesh of his thighs or clutching at his back.

He's still reeling at your admitted attraction to him. He knows there's a chance that you're only playing things up for the camera, but he's so hard and so turned on by the notion that you might be into him that he doesn't care how true it is right now.

Rather than worry too much about the legitimacy, he hooks his thumb into the waistband of his sweats without looking away from the screen and shuffles in his seat so that he can expose his cock fully.

He knows he shouldn't really be watching this. He isn't even sure why you're on this website; he pays much more than he used to and there's no way you're short for cash, so you're not moonlighting to make ends meet. Maybe you just enjoy it?

The idea thrills him and so does the knowledge that what he's doing is forbidden. Again, he supposes that if you have no clue that he's watching you right now then he can excuse his actions…. Right?

“It's so unprofessional,” You're almost whispering now, talking softly as your touch travels to different parts of your body. “But I think about it all the time.”

Reigen reaches for the small bottle of lube that sits in the corner of his desk while you talk, squeezing some out onto the fingers of one hand. He trails it around his dick slowly, ignoring the chill and covering himself until the skin is slick and wet.

The chat pings again, except this time there's the sound of coins dropping. A pink message appears:

[400 coins] Ass shake/Dance

Briefly, Reigen is confused. He has no idea what that means and his hand pauses to check the message. Next to it is a little cartoon coin, and he realises that you've been tipped money to do an activity.

You smile brightly, however, clearly pleased by the strange sound, and slowly you get up from your seat. “Thank you so much!” You giggle, blowing a kiss to the camera.

He watches you stand and fiddle with something that looks like a TV remote, and then the quiet music in the background becomes a little louder. You begin to sway your hips in time with the beat of the music, turning on the spot slowly.

“Should I send my boss a video of what I'm busy doing?” You ask, rocking your ass back and forth.

The skirt lifts when you bend down and Reigen catches a peek of your underwear when you lean over a little more. You turn until your back is to the camera and then begin to lift the skirt higher and higher as you dance, tantalisingly slow.

Reigen squeezes the base of his cock and smirks to himself. “I wouldn't bother.”

Your skirt recedes to reveal the bare skin of your ass. You're wearing lacy underwear that barely covers your pussy and Reigen groans at the sight, watching closely as you wiggle your hips until the fat of your ass wobbles deliciously.

He barely gets ten seconds worth of a look before you're moving back to sit on your bed, and he can't help the disappointment that rises in him.

With his free hand, Reigen takes a chance and bravely types out a message in chat:

[anon] - keep going

“Ah ahh,” you chastise, clearly reading the command he's sent through. “Tip to make requests, boys, you know the rules.”

Reigen isn’t sure what he's more turned on by; the business sense or your bossy attitude.

One handed, he swiftly clicks through on the link that auto generates in chat to make an account. He spares a thanks that modern technology allows him to keep his credit card info saved online and as soon as everything has gone through, he comes right back to your room.

The chat spits out a menu, triggered by the forbidden request, that clearly states an extensive menu of services. There are lots of options, and Reigen's mouth begins to salivate as he scrolls down the list. Whilst he's busy reading, another tip comes in from a different user:

[800 coins] - topless

“Oh,” you say, grinning as you reach for your bra straps. “Stepping things up, huh?”

Your comment makes Reigen look up again and his stomach flips when he realises what's about to happen.

Teasing, you thumb down each strap, letting them fall down to your sides. You reach behind yourself to undo the clasp and very gradually, you lower the pretty lingerie until finally, the lace falls away to expose your chest to the camera.

Reigen stares at the screen, mouth open, and his hand begins to stroke his cock. He's imagined seeing your naked chest more times than he can recall but his mind's eye is nothing in comparison to the real (or rather, virtual) thing. They're gorgeous. Perfect, in fact. He's not sure that he's ever seen anything better.

Embarrassed as he is to admit, Reigen has never actually seen anyone naked in real life. He's never even fucked another person, but he's seen his fair share of porn and none of those videos compare to you.

Every fantasy he's ever had has been completely imaginary and he doesn't dare make a move to find sex in real life; being an adult virgin is horribly embarrassing and he doesn't want to risk being laughed at. For now, he'll stick to his usual viewing habits.

“Fuck.” Reigen mutters, breath hitching. His hand works the length of his cock, fist tight and slick with lube, and on screen you're reaching up to play with your nipples again.

Enraptured by your image, he tightens his grip on the bottom of his dick every time you pinch yourself gently.

You take both tits in hand and squeeze them together, biting your lower lip and grinning as chat messages pour through. It's evident that you're enjoying yourself and it makes Reigen feel slightly less guilty for being a pervert.

The languid strokes of his cock become even slower while he types out the message he'd intended to send before, heart pounding in anticipation:

[950 coins] - remove skirt/underwear

The jingle of the tip plays and your eyes light up. “Oh,” you say, leaning forward to check the request. “You're new here.”

Momentarily, Reigen's hand pauses. His username is just a randomly generated set of numbers. There's no way you'd be able to tell his true identity from, yet he briefly panics that you might have rumbled him. He holds his breath for a second.

You nibble your lower lip and smile, but his cover isn't blown. “You guys are excited today, hm?” You laugh, getting up again and shifting the camera to ensure everyone can see what you're doing.

Carefully, you make a show of lifting up your skirt and undoing the side clasp before letting it fall to the floor with a soft thump. The panties you're wearing are tiny, yet they cover you well enough that it's hard to see much just yet. You give your ass a little shake again and bend over, spreading your legs.

Relieved, Reigen's hand begins to move again and without looking away, he shirks his sweatpants completely. His body feels hot all over and being constrained by his clothing feels unbearably uncomfortable. He kicks the trousers away from him and grins at your excited laughter.

“How's the view?” You ask, squeezing your ass gently.

“Perfect,” Reigen grunts, as though you can hear him.

You're reaching between your legs now, stroking your covered pussy up and down, and Reigen moans quietly. Chat messages are stacking up below your video screen, but he only has eyes for you right now.

Deliberately unhurried, you drag your hand back through your legs and take hold of the waistband of your panties. You pull the fabric down, down, down, slipping it over your round ass until finally you're baring yourself to the world in the most intimate way.

Wetness clings to your underwear when you tug it away and you're visibly aroused by the movement, making a soft sound of pleasure.

Reigen almost cums immediately. He grits his teeth and exhales sharply, letting go of his cock and willing himself not to finish early. It would be a shame to spend himself so soon and he wants nothing more than to spend all night staring into you.

“Like that?” You ask your audience, voice a little muffled now that you're turned away.

Several messages affirm that they do, in fact, like what they're seeing.

Reigen breathes heavily through his nose and rolls his chair closer to the monitor again. He takes a second to calm himself down, though he doesn't stop watching you wiggle your backside, and once he feels capable, he types out another request:

[1000 coins] - touch yourself

This time, he follows it up with a ‘please’ and you turn slightly to see what's happening.

You smirk and move back toward the bed, choosing to sit down and spread your legs this time. The view is still perfectly clear and Reigen finds that he likes this much better; he can see your pretty face, your tits and your wet pussy all at once. Hand firm on his dick, he starts to jerk off again.

“Do you like what you see?” You giggle, hand wandering southwards.

“Fuck, yeah I do.” Reigen groans, swiping his thumb over the head. The motion sends a shiver through his body and he fumbles with his free hand and keyboard to type out an affirmative answer.

You smile, coy, and stop your fingers just above your clit. “And what do we say when we want something?”

Reigen swears under his breath. He likes this; being forced to ask nicely and hope that he's given what he wants. He doesn't know why he enjoys it, but the idea of having to plead for your attention and his own release does something undeniable to his body, and he loves every second.

The flush on his face travels down his neck and burns the tips of his ears, spurred on by his myriad of emotions.

With one sweaty hand he types out:

please

touch yourself, please

The smile that comes to your face when you notice his message is positively wicked and your hand drops lower, gathering wetness. “I think you can ask even more nicely than that, can't you?”

He doesn't care that he's paid for a simple act. What he's getting right now is more arousing than anything he could have ever dreamt of receiving. The way his cock twitches in his hand suggests his body agrees. “Please.” Reigen whispers to his empty room, voice breaking. “Fuck, please, touch your fucking pussy for me.”

Panting and moaning with every stroke of his fist, Reigen shakily taps out another desperate response.

plsaase

pls

im begging u

It's obviously the right response because you do exactly as he asks: your fingers begin to brush over your clit and you gasp at the contact. Gently, you rub yourself in tiny circles. Your skin glistens in the light and even with the music playing, he can hear your moans and sighs when your touches speed up.

Reigen jerks himself off in time with your movements. His apartment fills with the wet, oily noises of his lubed up palm on his dick and his heavy breathing, broken only by his pathetic begging for more. “Oh god,” he whines, leaning forward in his seat to grip the edge of his desk. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

He wants to ask for more, to see you get even more explicit, however he worries that if he lets go of his desk he might keel over. Fortunately for Reigen, another request pings in. This one goes even further.

The anonymous user tips a significant amount and much to Reigen's horny delight, asks you to use one of the larger sex toys on the table next to your bed.

A few minutes pass in which you continue to touch your clit and Reigen realises that you're getting caught up in this yourself. You're so lost in your own pleasure that you're too busy to see what your audience want.

It turns him on no end.

Eventually, you force yourself to pause and glance at the chat. There are a few annoyed messages about you ignoring them, but you pay them no mind, instead saying a breathless thank you to the new requester and reaching for a sizable, pink dildo. It's thick and decently long, and you hold it out for him to see properly.

“Should I use this one?” Your voice is fraying at the edges, strained from all your noise.

Oh yeah

Fuck yeah use it

Do it

You don't appear to need much encouragement and you sit back on your elbows, legs spreading even wider as you rub the head of the fake cock over your pussy.

Reigen imagines that instead of cool, false plastic, it's his dick that you're grinding your hips into. He pictures himself between your legs, gently slapping the swollen tip of his cock against the soft, wet folds of your cunt whilst you squirm and groan in pleasure. His moans are getting louder now, unrestrained and wrecked, and he knows he sounds like a girl but he can't find it in himself to give a fuck.

Again, he almost cums, but rather than let it happen he allows himself to get as close as he dares and then stops touching completely. He has plenty of time to draw this out; you haven't even put the dildo in yet.

You're still circling it around your hole slowly, grinning and chewing on your lip in anticipation of what's to, rather ironically, come.

Sweat trickles down Reigen's neck. He's over stimulated and unbearably turned on, body red hot and flushed. He reaches for his drink again and takes a quick gulp before picking right up where he left off.

“Wanna see me fuck myself?” You tease, peering at the message box.

Reigen is the only one who responds. He knows it's likely because every other person in here is too busy getting off to answer, yet he seizes the chance to catch your attention.

yes please

Your warm smile returns and he finds himself smiling too, enjoying the way your expression softens. “You're a sweetheart, aren't you?” You say fondly, sitting up a bit more.

Reigen grins and nods, even though he knows you can't see him. He dials up his politeness, practically gagging for your attention, and moves his hand down to stroke along the sides of his dick, teasing himself as he type:.

yes ma'am

Something changes in your gaze at his message, hot and intense, and you start to circle your clit again. “Ask me again.” You sigh happily. “Be a good boy.”

Reigen's brain almost short circuits at your comment. He moans again and tips his head back, hand working hard between his legs. “Oh, my god.” He chokes out, scrambling to answer via his keyboard. “Fuck, that's- say that again.”

please ma'am

pls fuck urself

ill do anything i swear

just call me that again

You're clearly entertained by his request. Even more so, you appear to be turned on by it. Slow and steady, you ease the dildo into yourself, keening loudly at the sensation yet still managing to fulfill Reigen's request.

“Good boy,” you breathe, smiling wide. “You're such a good boy for me.”

Reigen makes a humiliating noise. It's a mix of a moan and a sob, and he stops jerking his cock in favour of fucking his own hand instead. His hips buck forward wildly, uncontrollable and desperate, and he attempts to match the tempo in which you fuck yourself.

He watches in awe as you drive the dildo into your cunt, arousal dripping down the length of it and leaving it shiny and slick.

“Oh, fuck,” Reigen chokes out breathlessly, grinding into his fist like he's fucking you himself. “Don't stop, fuck, don't stop.”

His moans mix with yours on screen and if he could bear to close his eyes, he might imagine that this is what it feels like to be inside you. As it is, he can't bear to look anywhere but at you.

Your hand is moving quickly now, pumping the toy in and out while you rub your clit just as fast, crying out in pleasure.

Reigen's girly moans pick up in pitch and he begs you with everything he has: “Keep going, please, I-ha! You feel so good, so good, fuck!”

As though you can hear his pleas, you don't relent your movements. Your tits bounce with the force that you're fucking yourself with and you groan every time you hit a good spot.

It's obvious that you're no longer playing along with whatever your audience wants; You're lost in the sensation and Reigen is completely beside himself, right there with you.

His chair rocks and creaks underneath his moving weight and he scrunches up his bare toes against the wooden flooring to stay put, listening to you as you continue to encourage him.

“You're my good boy, aren't you?” You pant, eyes closed. “Touching yourself just like I asked….”

“Yeah,” Reigen whimpers. “I swear, just for you, whatever you want.”

“Fuck,” you sigh on screen, angling the toy. “Fuck.”

Reigen can barely breathe. He's sweating profusely, rivulets trickling down his brow and blurring his vision, and he can feel something tight and white hot coiling in his lower belly.

The pressure is building slowly, growing with every pass of his fist and every moan you make on his monitor, and his ability to speak unravels. He's babbling about anything and everything, eyes darting from your pussy to your face, and the feeling in his belly spikes.

“Oh, god, oh fuck,” he whines, long and low. “I'm gonna cum, I'm- please, let me cum!” His pathetic moans hitch and in their lull, he hears you speak a single word that sends him crashing over the edge:

“Reigen!”

You cry his name quietly, sweeter than a prayer, and shudder as you climax with him.

Unable to stop it, Reigen's orgasm hits him so hard he almost blacks out for a moment. He cums hard, spilling all over his fist and stomach, his toes curling and body convulsing with intense pleasure. He ducks his head and shouts something unintelligible, drool dripping down from his open mouth to mix with the mess on his hand.

The aftershock of his orgasm has him spasming in its wake, muscles twitching and cramping as he heaves for breath. Reigen releases his cock and slumps back in his chair, panting hard like he's run a marathon.

He's fairly confident that it might be the best orgasm he's ever had.

On screen, the music has stopped and there's only the sound of your laboured breathing filling the silence. You're panting hard, pussy spread by your toy, and you look wrecked. Your hair is a mess, your eyes are half-lidded, and underneath you the blanket is soaked.

Reigen wipes the sweat from his forehead with his clean hand and takes a few minutes to gather his bearings. He sees you remove the toy slowly and place it back on the bedside table before you sit back down, cross legged, on the bed. You avoid the wet patch, wrinkling your nose and flipping the blanket over to prevent yourself from sitting on it, and you pause to catch your breath. Your chest rises and falls rapidly for a minute, and he watches you catch your breath.

Clearly you're a seasoned professional however, because you go back to checking your chat messages only minutes later. Every user in the room is overjoyed with your performance and Reigen has to agree. He's never seen a porno anywhere near as sexy as what he just witnessed and he's not sure he ever will.

Reigen reaches over for the box of tissues next to his computer and carefully wipes up the mess on his hand. There's cum on the floor too and when he's confident that his jelly-like legs won't let him fall off the chair, he leans down to clean it up.

Once everything is less sticky, Reigen checks the chat. There are a good few messages pinging up and they make him smile, big and stupid, and more than a little smug:

Who is Reigen?

Fuck, he's a lucky guy

Wish I was him

Listening to you moan his name, watching your face whilst you'd fucked yourself silly, it's all imprinted on his brain forever.

He's still reeling over the fact that it was his name on your lips as you came. You've never shown interest in him like that, at least not to his knowledge, and if you've been getting yourself off to the thought of him anywhere near as much as he has to you, Reigen wonders if it might be worth catching a few more of these streams until he can find the courage to see if you might want to to go out sometime.

You're putting your lingerie back on when he looks back up to you again. There's a glow to you that only appears after a good fucking and Reigen's stomach summersaults. He knows that the small crush he has on you is going to snowball dramatically now.

He won't be able to look you in the eye again without thinking of the sounds you've made tonight. That being said, he’ll worry about how to deal with the awkwardness and the shame of spying on his subordinate once he's sober tomorrow morning. For now, he’ll enjoy the rest of his evening watching you.

You don't acknowledge the chat’s questions about who you're thinking of in your intimate throes, instead choosing to finish getting dressed and then grabbing your phone from where it sits at the end of your bed.

“Now I really should reply to my boss,” you tell the chat, leaning across the gap to click something with your mouse. “One second.”

The stream mutes and your fingers move back and forth over the phone keypad quickly. There's silence, and then Reigen's cell vibrates loudly. It scares the shit out of him and he snatches it up, staring at the screen.

Sorry. I was playing online. Maybe we can hang out tomorrow?

Reigen grins and fires back the smartest reply he can think of.

[Reigen] - Don't wear yourself out ;)

On his monitor, he sees you laugh silently, head tipped back and smiling wide, and his heart skips a beat.

Tomorrow it is.

[bbbuckaroo]

i think the entire 911 fandom situation is very interesting to witness because we've been saying this for years: buck and eddie girlies would have been at each other's throats all this time if their common ship hadn't united them. i think the current takes show incredibly well that the same people who hate bucktommy simply wanted eddie to have the queer storyline, with or without buck. i do understand that. people can have favorite characters and want them to have specific storylines. but now, from a narrative standpoint, bi eddie and buddie seem very unlikely to ever happen in canon. buck girlies get to enjoy canon bisexual buck kissing a man on screen and being in love while they cannot and probably will never get that for eddie. at least not with a man, and let's be real, that's all the hardcore antis seem to care about. i think now, given all that has happened in s7, we're finally seeing people's favoritism unveiled (not that it wasn't obvious the entire time) and there is less unity on where the story should go for buck and eddie. suddenly, i think for the first time ever, hardcore buddie shippers are truly forced to actually view buck and eddie as individuals that live alongside each other as besties while having their own separate lives. it's funny to me that antis act as if people have "abandoned" eddie. he is getting heavy focus in s7? he is still a main character? shouldn't people be happy that his character is further explored and his trauma is hopefully finally worked on? i feel like i appreciate canon eddie more than many eddie girlies do just because many eddie girlies seem to enjoy a highly fanonized version of him only. and that fanon version is being shattered, due to bucktommy and now with eddie being confirmed to still love shannon, the love of his life. it's good for the 911 ecosystem. i hope this adjustment period will end soon, and people will finally calm down about the buddie agenda.

I truly did not even think about Eddie vs. Buck being such a huge trigger for the drama, which I why I love these constructive discussions. And I agree that if not for their friendship/the discussion of Buddie it could have created a lot of tension (“Buck’s getting more screen time, they’re making Eddie look like the bad guy, it’s not fair this and that”). It’s one of the reasons I suspect that small radical group may end up imploding because if they’re not getting the attention they want from us they’re going to start fighting amongst themselves.

I agree that if not to Buddie the idea of Eddie being queer would have never come up but then again I’m not sure any girlfriend would have been good enough? It’s a double-edged sword. And I think the show has amazing queer representation and adding another character journey so similar to Buck’s would seem too repetitive and do a disservice to the others because it would feel like a trend.

I did a post a while ago with a bit of a rant about how Ryan seems so excited about his future character development (think he’s ready to portray some good angst) and it was automatically brought back to Buddie. How is journey is really about Buddie and how it goes back to that. And talk about a disservice. You’d think people would be THRILLED for Eddie to get his own individual storyline but alas no.

I haven’t always been an Eddie fan, I may be biased towards Buck but whether it was intentional or not, I always found him to be a bit selfish and his relationship with Buck a bit more one way or another. Which could be me totally misreading it but this sesson?! OMG I’ve fallen in love with him again. He’s so silly and playful, the basketball scene where he’s doing that little head bop makes me all sorts of 😍😍😍. I feel like it’s a true representation of who he js and that’s probably why all the Shannon drama is coming up, he’s going back to himself and that brings back a lot of repressed trauma. Ryan has done phenomenal and is vulnerability as a “macho” man is so needed to be seen nowadays.

I agree as with everything you’ve said, it’s time to focus on the characters as separate entities who will always gravitate back to each other. No matter how bad a fight Eddie and Buck have or will have, they have such a special (platonic) relationship that I adore. Thank you so much for your ask, it brings up so many good points and definitely offers hope that these sorts of mindsets will drive us to continue to push the positive and ignore the negative!

[jimin-jungshook-over-literalbae]

Blinding Lights Chapter One

Hey guys! I wanted to try something new! This is content I’ve been playing around with for a long time but didn’t have any confidence in. This piece is already in it’s second chapter so I decide to try posting the first chapter to see if people are interested. I hope you guys like it!

Hybrids: Munchkin Cat Reader (Omega), Fox Jin (Omega), Panther Yoongi (Alpha), Golden Retriever Hoseok (Beta), Wolf Namjoon (Alpha), Calico Cat Jimin (Omega), Tiger Taehyung (Beta), Bunny Jungkook (Beta)

Masterlist

Word Count: 3312

Next Chapter

It’s easy to hate the world when you’re trapped in a box. Staring at the same walls and praying for a break in the mundane, ordinary, repetitive days. Hybrids hate being trapped. They crave freedom, open air, sunlight and comfort. Trapped Omegas are worse. Without a pack, their self-hatred only grows, leaving room for little else.

Since I was twenty, I had spent most of my time trapped in the small space under the floorboards. My newest owner said that’s where Hybrids belong unless they’re needed. My job is the please the boss’ clients. They get to live their fantasies. Some are sexual and other are more into physical pain. It’s a shock I have lost my mind completely.

It’s been seven years. Seven long year living a life worse than death. Learning to dread specific sounds, like now. Muted voices, the shuffling of feet, the whisper of the carpet being lifted, and the creak of the trap door. Next is the smell of my owner’s grossly expensive cologne. The person he’s with usually smells like some other gross cologne. It usually makes me feel like I should sneeze.

The man with my owner is a panther hybrids. He’s handsome, though in a less conventional way than the stereotypical pretty boy. The man appraises my small form, scantily clad in the outfit the maid put me in when she gave me my bath. I can’t read the look in his eyes, but the duffle bag in his hand sends my heart racing.

“I’ll leave you to your fun,” My owner makes his way back up the small ladder, closing the trap door and leaving us with no light but the bare single bulb. For a few moments, the Panther hybrids just studies me. He steps toward me and I shrink back, drawing my knees up to my chest.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” His voice is soft. Whether that is to put me at ease or because he’s scared we’ll be overheard, I’m not sure. He holds up a piece of paper. Written on it is ‘Can he hear us?’. I shake my head.

“Sound proof. He advertises not having cameras or microphones as a perk,” My voice cracks. He gives me a quick nod before rifling through his bag. He pulls out a walkie-talkie.

“I’m in,” His tone is clipped.

“Status?” A voice crackles over the speaker.

“One female munchkin hybrid. There’s a trap door under the carpet in the dining room. Close to the entrance. No guards in the room,” His words come out fast. This becomes more confusing the longer it goes. It feels like a fever dream.

“The hybrid?” The voice sounds different this time. Maybe a different person?

“No visible major injuries? She’s alert and conscious. One chain securing her. Cheap but sturdy. Shouldn’t take me long,” He pulls a couple of familiar tools out of his bag. My teeth dig into my bottom lip.

“10-4. Update me when we can move,” He sets down the device, picking up one of the tools,” And Yoongi? Just be careful.”

“I’m going to move your leg into a better position so I can get the chain off. You’re getting out of here,” He adjusts my leg and is about to start when I shake my head.

“Key is taped to the door. In sight but out of reach,” His eyes widen at my words.

“Bastard,” He mutters as he reaches up and removes the key. He unlocks the shackle on my ankle. My leg feels foreign without the added weight. I stand but stumble when I try to walk. Under everything else, I catch a faint whiff of his scent. Black pepper and rose. It twines with his Alpha’s scent. It nearly sends me into my Omega headspace.

“Hit it. Let’s get this asshole,” Yoongi throws the walkie-talkie back in his bag when he’s done and creates and creates a little distance between us. He hands me a t-shirt that is way too big. It fits me like a dress, going to my knees. He carefully positions me on his back, my legs and arms wrapped around him. My nose is pressed to his scent gland, relishing in his comforting scent.

“Don’t let go, no matter what. I’ve got you,” With the duffel bag, it must be difficult to carry me, but he doesn’t seem to be struggling.

The trap door opens, revealing a man with longish black hair and dark colored bunny ears. He reaches a hand down and helps Yoongi up. Tattoos wrap around his hand and disappear into his long sleeved t-shirt. He takes the duffel bag and glances around quickly.

“Van is outside the gate. I’ll guide you to the door. Stick close,” The bunny hybrid says.

“Bossy Brat,” Yoongi mutters. He follows the bunny hybrid to the front door. Then, almost like magic, we’re outside. Seven years of darkness leading to this moment of light.

He walks to the van and climbs in the back. The back of the van is mostly empty. The front seat is occupied by a Beta with a bright expression. I can’t help but tremble a little at the unfamiliar face.

“Let’s get you comfortable,” Yoongi gently lifts me from his back and settles me on a small pallet in the corner, near the seats. One of the blankets smells like him, and I quickly pull it around me. His scent soothes my nerves,” I’ll be back, Little One. Hobi, keep her safe for me.”

“Always. Go make sure Jiminie gets out safe,” As the person moves to the back of the van, I recognize him as another hybrid. He’s a golden retriever.

Yoongi leaves the van and I can barely suppress the whine that builds in me. I huddle in the little blanket, trying to stay out of Omegaspace. The Beta moves closer and I can’t stop myself from flinching. His scent makes its’ way to me. Mint and sunflowers. It’s a calming smell.

“Are you okay?” His voice is gentle,” My name is Hoseok.”

“Okay,” I meant to say ‘I’m okay’ but it’s hard to fight the drop.

Some time passes in a comfortable silence. The opening of the back door causes me to jump. The figure stepping in make me cower. His brown bear ears and the scar on his right cheek give him away. He’s the boss’ second in command, a Beta. He heads straight for Hoseok, and my body is moving before I can’t stop myself. I firmly place myself between Hoseok and the Bear. I hiss, only partially aware of the slip.

His hand closes around my throat, my feet leaving the floor of the van. A growl leaves Hoseok. My hand closes around his wrist, but it makes me feel smaller. My feet kick out, trying to find purchase to relieve some of the pressure on my throat.

“The boss wants to see you. Be a good little bitch and scurry to your master,” I can barely comprehend his words, the loss of breath getting to me.

“Let her go,” The voice behind me is much darker and rougher than I expected.

“I wouldn’t move, if I were you. It would be so easy to crush her throat,” His grip tightens just a little and I can tell he isn’t paying attention to me.

I dig my nails into his hand, my other hand going to where his thumb rests on my throat. You can’t grasp without your thumb. I manage to get my fingers under it, pushing it back hard. I feel it dislocate. I hit the ground hard and roll. I’m moving entirely by instinct, my Omega in full control. The two Betas leap at me and I panic. I scramble to the front and wedge myself in the front passenger seat floor. Then the sound stops.

“On the floor,” This voice is unfamiliar. A growl echoes through the van. I peek up to see a pink haired cat hybrid wit ha gun pointed at the unnamed Beta. The gun moves, pressing to the back of his head,” I said; down.”

I’ve never seen a more angry Beta as he lays on his stomach. Although I can’t smell him from here, in all the confusion, this reaction tells me the pink haired boy is an Omega. The Beta is dragged out of the van by people I can’t see from here.

“Missed the boss but got a few of his lackeys. Maybe they’ll have some info,” This comes from the pink haired Omega, his high pitched voice very distinctive.

“Lets load this one up and then we can head back to base,” This voice is unfamiliar.

“What happened to his thumb?” Yoongi. I can feel my Omega being pulled to his voice, to the safety and Alpha brings. The only thing keeping her here is the unknown voices.

“Your little Omega in there. She’s in a full drop right now,” This one is Hoseok.

“Can you guys load him up without me? I’m gonna check on her?” It’s Yoongi again.

“We’ve got him. She’s in the front passenger floor,” Hoseok’s voice already sounds like it’s getting farther away. They door beside me opens and I flinch.

Yoongi looks down at me, concern softening his expression. I move without thinking, somehow unwedging myself and wrapping myself around him. My face buries in his neck. His hands hold me gently.

“I’ve got you. I’m not going anywhere this time,” His cheek rubs on the top of my head, gently scenting me.

He somehow climbs into the passenger seat with me wrapped around him. We sit in silence for a bit. HIs calm presence and gentle scenting do a lot to clear my haze. Coming out of a drop always leaves me feeling exhausted and scrambled.

“Did you really dislocate his thumb?” There’s a chuckle hiding in his voice. I nod my head.

“He had his hand around my throat,” A soft growl leaves Yoongi at my words,” You can’t grip without your thumb. Dislocation was just a side effect. It wasn’t intentional.”

“A little badass, huh?” He muses, leaning me back some so he can examine my throat. It’s probably already bruising.

“I’m not that young,” I huff, crossing my arms,” I’m 27. I’m just short.”

“You’re the same age as Jimin and Tae. Still younger than me, though,” His tone is teasing. I roll my eyes,” What is this on the back of your shoulder?”

It’s like a shock of cold water. Memories bombarded me. Tears, blood, the smell of burning flesh. My hands begin to shake and I have to shove back another drop.

“A brand. So everyone knows who I belong to,” My voice is smaller, and more emotional, than I would like. To my surprise, another growl leaves him and his face buries in my neck.

“He won’t touch you again. I’ll kill him,” His voice is muffled and rough,” Mine.”

My heart skips a beat at his words. Is he claiming me? Why me, of all people? His chest rumbles with a soft purr that melts my heart as his warm breath caresses my neck. He can’t mean it. I was born alone. The driver’s side door opening interrupts my thoughts.

“Jungkookie and Jiminie are taking the ones we caught and dropping them off. Namjoon is meeting them there,” Hoseok climbs into the driver’s seat,” Lets get home, shall we?”

The look he gives me is warm and kind. I smile back hesitantly. I rest my head on Yoongi’s shoulder, listening to the two of them talk. At some point, I started dozing off, exhaustion weighing too heavy on my sleepy mind. I’m not fully asleep, but I’m not awake either. There’s a faint ringing and Yoongi shifts some.

“Hello?” Yoongi’s voice is a soft whisper against my hair.

“Where is the girl?” This voice is unfamiliar.

“I have her,” Yoongi’s answer is clipped.

“Yoongi,” The man’s voice is exasperated,” We don’t know if she’s safe.”

“I’m not letting her go there, Namjoon,” Yoongi tenses.

“We don’t know-“ Yoongi cuts him off.

“Nobody consents to living like that. You haven’t seen her. She’s so frightened,” His fingers dance up and down my back absentmindedly.

“I know you’ve grown attached but we still-“ Once again, Yoongi interrupts him.

“They branded her!” I can smell his anger and I whine, nuzzling into his neck. He lets out a breath.

“Just… bring her here. I just want to talk to her first,” The call ends and Yoongi makes a frustrated sound.

“It’s okay, hyung. He’ll know. I feel it too,” Hoseok says gently.

“If he doesn’t, I”m staying with her,” His lips press to my forehead. We drive for a while longer but then I can feel Yoongi nudging me awake.

“C’mon. There’s someone I want you to meet,” He helps me out of the van and his hand engulfs mine. I squeeze it softly, trying to quell my nerves.

I follow him through the building. We end up in an office, sitting on a couch across from a tall Alpha with light brown hair and gray wolf ears. I sit gingerly, playing with the hem of my t-shirt. His scent washes over me, pine and fire. A warm and exciting at the same time.

“It’s nice to meet you. I’m Namjoon,” When he smiles, I see dimples wink at me from his cheeks.

“I just have a few questions to ask you,” He crosses his long legs and leans back in his chair,” How long were you held there?”

“Seven years,” I don’t miss a beat. I kept count. It helped me hold onto my scrap of sanity,” I was twenty when he bought me.”

“Bought you?” He presses.

“I’m a munchkin hybrid. They’re often passed between rich households. The last count came in at less than a hundred, nationally. Even fewer are female. It’s why I’m so small, despite my age,” My hands hover uselessly. I would normally play with my tail to keep me calm, but that’s not possible right now,” I moved homes super often. Plus, the boss would visit on our anniversary.”

“You don’t have to answer this, but what was your job?” He phrases the question carefully.

“To satisfy whatever urges his crew or potential new clients,” I can’t stop my voice from shaking.

“Did you choose this job?” His question nearly sends me into anger.

“Who chooses that job? I was tortured and raped. I can’t even-“ I stop myself. Yoongi’s hand lands on my knee, squeezing comfortingly.

“You can’t what?” It’s Yoongi this time, his voice hesitant.

“Use my tail,” My voice is small and broken. I didn’t want to talk about it.

“W-what do you mean?” Even Namjoon seems stumped by that one.

“Not long after I got there, less than a year, I tried to escape. It’s why they started chaining me. It part of my punishment. It’s best I just show you,” A sob nearly chokes me. I stand robotically and turn, lifting the shirt enough to show my tail. It’s a broken, twisted mess. It’s basically shaped like a bow, zip ties used to hold it in place until it healed that way. I feel numb as I lower the shirt.

“You’re safe here,” Namjoon’s voice calming, like his scent,” Yoongi, you should take her to see Jin. She needs medical care to make sure there are no other issues.”

“Namj-“ The door behind me opens and I turn to see the black haired rabbit,” Sorry, didn’t know they were here.”

Now that we’re here, away from the mansion, I can catch his scent. It reminds me of a salty ocean breeze. The shock comes at realizing he’s a Beta. Rabbits are almost exclusively Omegas.

“We didn’t get a chance to meet earlier,” The rabbit offers me a smile, little bunny teeth on display,” I’m Jungkook.”

“Y/N,” I find it hard to meet his eyes. I’ve been too well trained, I guess.

“C’mon, pretty girl,” Yoongi hops to his feet and reaches for my hand,” Lets go see the doc.”

This time, we end up in a normal looking car. While he drives, Yoongi fiddles with the radio, looking for something he wants to listen to. Once it stops on a station, he offers me his hand. I take it quickly, his touch bringing comfort. I play with his fingers, trying to quell my nerves about meeting another unknown person. When he parks the car, I can feel anxiety rearing its’ ugly head.

“Hey,” His voice is soft,” I’ll stay with you, if that’s what you want. I won’t leave you.”

“Why-“ My voice breaks,” Why me?”

“Hmm?” His ear flicks, obviously confused.

“You’ve comforted me so much, but I don’t deserve that,” My lower lip trembles, despite my best attempts.

“Come here, Kitten,” He unlatches our seat belts and pulls me on to his side of the car. He leans his seat back and suddenly, our noses almost touching. My breath catches as his dark eyes peer up at me.

“With everything going on, you may not have noticed. You,” He bumps my nose with his, his hands resting comfortably on my sides,” are my mate. Our mate.”

My eyes go wide, the scattered and missing pieces suddenly making sense. In my daze, my Omega took a little control and nuzzled into his neck, my nose lightly nudging his scent gland. He lets out a breath, his arms wrapping around me gently.

“I’ll always be here,” My head lulls to the side, a whimper leaving me, as he nuzzles my scent gland. His lips brush it gently, his warm breath sending shivers down my spine.

“We should probably go in,” My voice is breathless, broken up by soft purrs.

“Probably,” I curl up on his chest. One of his hands trails up and down my spine, causing a content purr to leave me.

The ringing of his phone rudely interrupts us. He sighs and fumbles a little, managing to get it from his pocket. He answers and presses it to his ear.

“What?” His tone is grumpy,” Okay, okay, we’re coming.”

We clamber out of the car, his hand, once again, reaching for mine. He pulls me along, leading me through the small clinic. His knuckles tap on the door in front of us. It opens quickly.

“Come on it,” Gray-black fox ears nestle on a mop of blonde hair. A floral scent, orange blossom and lilies, permeates from the Omega,” I’m Dr. Kim Seokjin. Mates know me as Jin.”

“Nice to meet you. I’m Y/N,” I peek up at his face for a few seconds, but I quickly feel awkward.

“Lets look you over and make sure you’re okay, hmm?” Jin’s voice is cheery.

The exam feels like it takes forever and parts of me fill with fear. Yoongi stays the whole time, holding my hand or petting my hair. When he gets to my tail, I can hear him gasp.

“That’s horrible,” His voice is broken,” So, for your tail, I’ll have to straighten it out. I can give you some meds and do it now. It should be healed by morning.”

I take the offered meds, which hit fast due to my hybrid metabolism. The next twenty minutes are grueling. I can feel him working, feel the bones breaking and readjusting.

“How are you feeling?” Jin asks when he’s done.

“Sleepy,” I answer honestly, struggling to stifle a yawn.

“You did so good, Kitten,” Yoongi’s voice is soft as his eyes meet mine,” Lets go home.”

He lifts me gently. I can hear them speaking but I can’t interpret their words, my brain too exhausted. The gentle motion of his walking lulls me to sleep, my head resting on his shoulder.

[rad-hound]

Top five writer pet peeves you have. Hell, artist as well if you have any

TOP FIVE WRITER / ARTIST PET PEEVES

1. Overuse or repetition of tropes or stereotypes in fiction:

This includes, but is most certainly not limited to, tropes you may begrudgingly stumble across on fanfiction-housing websites like AO3, such as: borderline or unapologetically racist depictions of black and brown people. And especially upon the likes of AO3, if you know, you know. As well as fetishized depictions of trans men... of which is sadly common in the Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance community, as well, in primary reference to how they write Raiden. And while I'm no stranger to trans headcanons of my own, a lot of the work on AO3 where Raiden is depicted as a trans man seems... tasteless. Seeing how most of these depictions I find myself irked by appear to have been written by people who aren't trans themselves. Or, at least, not to my own knowledge. (Typically, my know-how is whether or not they tag their work as, "Trans [redacted] written by a trans author." But of course, this is but a shallow assumption to be taken with a grain of salt.) Such other, lesser consequential and controversial repetitive (albeit, with a grain of salt) tropes I often see in writing are primarily some nitpicks of mine, such as how some people who clearly aren't Southern try to write or depict a Southern accent, without so much as speaking to, much less interacting with someone who may live in the U.S. South within an inch of their life. Or how Latino men in fiction are often treated as these... promiscuous, dangerous rebels who fruitlessly try to whisk their love interest away from their already-existing, usually white or eurocentric lover. I see this with how people write Jetstream Sam / Samuel Rodrigues in fanfiction, despite his base depiction not at all reflecting the odd fashion which fans always seem to write him within. Though, I wouldn't know, maybe such depictions are equally as controversial, or perhaps they cannot be compared. But these are ones that I notice right away that sort of make my brain itch. Not enough for me to gripe at a writer face-to-face about it, but... just a thought, since we're here. Don't burn me at the stake.

2. "Woobification" of antagonists & the morally ambiguous / exclusion & sanitization of moral ambiguity in fiction:

The same sentiment is equally applicable in the very opposite manner; the manner in which people who write fanfiction for some reason crank the edge factor up to 90, when the canonicity of aforementioned character's moral ambiguity is much more subtle and lesser obnoxious than they believe. Yet another phenomenon I see occur in characters like Raiden, where—while yes, at points, or a point, he is rather... unsavory—this lesser subtle, more violent side of him comes to surface even once, it feels as though fans completely disregard his other personality traits entirely. But if you were to ask these very same people to give the same treatment to the version of Raiden that is present in Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty, you will hear nothing but crickets, despite his history of being a child soldier being present and stable within both games. Because, with that version of Raiden, the forced feminization—infantalization—he already endures conflicts with his more violent, unapologetic nature that exists within the canon of Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance. However, the opposite sentiment was not what I wanted to bicker about, my primary focus being how fans have a tendency to not only water down, but entirely disregard a morally-dubious character's behaviors and history, all for the sake of... "making their favorite character easier to digest," so to speak, so that it may leave less of a bad taste in their mouth whenever they faun over them so restlessly. Or, rather, resorting to the quite popular, fandom-intersectional excuse of, "the writing was bad," to void and excuse the fact that they enjoy a morally dubious character, while also simultaneously voiding themselves of the reality that they—as a person who indulges in and digests media—may or may not indulge in a problematic piece of fiction. When, in reality, the fact that we as people are even able to witness this side of fiction—while potentially unsavory, and triggering, in which case one should browse carefully—should serve as a testament to encourage us to broaden our own palette, and to exit our own comfort zone. Because it isn't wrong to read, or even think about, such stories, and it doesn't make us horrible, irredeemable people for doing so. So long as one isn't glorifying or praising the events or actions which may be portrayed through said stories. Because, at the end of the day, simply reading or liking a piece of fiction does not equal endorsement of anything to occur within it. It NEVER has equalled or equated to endorsement, in any sense of the word. Unless you're very outspoken about your own moral ambiguity and problematic views, simply liking a problematic character whose own views do not equate to your own does not make you somehow equal to them on a scale of morality. No one is judging you for enjoying Sundowner from Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance, I assure you. Sincerely, a person whose current favorite Metal Gear character is, by far, the most unapologetically evil piece of shit in the entire series. And while it is not the hill I will die on, I've made myself clear.

3. Erasure of key character / ethnic traits of fictional characters in official IP art & fanart:

While this may not necessarily be in regards to how some characters are portrayed within written works or fanfiction, I still believe there is a conversation to be had about how frequently characters—especially characters that are black, brown, indigenous, etc.—are regularly misrepresented through not just artwork created by an IP's fans, but a lot of the time by official works leased by the companies who hold ownership over said IPs. The very same can be said about overweight or fat characters, who may regularly be drawn slimmer or skinnier to better suit the artist's own "comfort level," however even when such artists may be tasked through commission to draw a person's character that may be fat, they somehow still miss the mark. And, truthfully—in both discussing fat erasure and the erasure of POC in fictional media—I find that to be utterly ridiculous, because several black artists across every art or fannish community under the Sun have taken it upon themselves to not only create brushes to better emulate black features in digital art programs, but have—with their God-like patience—taken it upon themselves to create tutorials on how to not only draw black features, but how to color and shade black and brown skin, as well. Unfortunately, official artwork leased by the companies that create these characters aren't all that great about ensuring that all of their customers and fans are well-represented, either, as the most prime examples of companies which come to mind typically have a tendency to either be openly racist, colorist, sexist, homophobic... the whole nine yards. A sort of prejudice that is also very much present in a game like Metal Gear, or more particularly, Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker, where several of the characters—either Costa Rican or Hispanic—are pasty pale, with very Eurocentric features. (Correct me if I'm wrong.) But, with situations such as these, I find myself feeling grateful for the fans of any IP that create artwork and fanart where these characters are given their proper, adequate features, either to make up for where the parent company of aforementioned IP failed them, or to make up for the already significant lack of representation that marginalized communities receive from aforementioned companies.

4. Usage of generative AI to create literature / fanfiction & for other intents & purposes:

This, in particular, applies to a more broad area than simply fanfiction alone, given people's tendency to resort to using artificial intelligence to pick up their slack in other areas, as well. Such as college essays—of which is already quite common, and often results in students being ruthlessly flunked from their courses for even considering such a course of action, and rightfully so, because most generative AI programs are trained on both accurate information AND misinformation—and roleplay. Where, at some point, I must beg the question: is this truly helping us? Now, don't get me wrong, artificial intelligence has already existed for decades, and has already helped humanity on a number of fronts; from the creation of the internet and its algorithms, to the aiding in the creation of modern medicine... but as we've seen again and again, generative AI really doesn't help anyone. And as we've seen again and again, those who shill and are the most vocal about this push to include generative AI in every facet of our lives have proven that, actually, they don't give two squats about the integrities or livelihoods of human artists. For instance, what we're seeing occur with the Glaze program, where artists are tainting their own art with cloaks in hopes that it would poison the already-vast dataset that exists within generative programs such as MidJourney and otherwise, likely already acquired by legally dubious means. But seeing the founder of Stability AI's willingness to break the law in order to scrape data, we already knew that. But, even when we put aside the very clear legal hurdles that the likes of generative AI present, there is also the very opaque matter of people using the likes of generative AI to not only generate pieces or the entirety of their fanfiction—of which is already a hot topic and very controversial within fandom and fanfiction spaces, particularly AO3—but also to fill in the gap for a roleplay partner which they might not have. Entirely defeating the purpose of roleplay at all; to make friends, connections, and to bond with those you roleplay with. In a manner no infinite amount of shallow AI could give you. And it pains me to see more and more young people finding themselves talking to an algorithm to get those experiences, or to fill in such an absence within their own online experience. To my roleplayers out there: roleplay forums do exist still, and there are thousands of them! Such examples include Forum Roleplay, RP Nation, RPG Initiative, RPGnet Forums... the list goes on and on forever! One that I personally reccommend from days of yore would be Chicken Smoothie, which doubles as a roleplay / art forum, and an animal adoption and trading game. Hell, there's a covert roleplaying community that is present here, on Tumblr! You don't have to resort to a shoddy AI to have a little bit of fun.

5. The concept of competitive & "the academic" arts in school settings / educational environments:

This very much applies to high school and / or college courses, the likes of which encourage students to, for some reason, "replicate" famous artists and their staples from the past. For example, Pablo Picasso, whose style was not only abstract, but a landmark at the time... something the likes of which no one has ever seen before. And it was that... new, innovative way of creating art that drew people in, that still draws people in to this day. As do several other famous artists in this world's history; Leonardo da Vinci, Vincent van Gogh, Frida Kahlo... even pop artist Andy Warhol. But... that's just it. I understand if there is some deeper merit of experience or a notion of, "hey, I tried this," when it comes to the task of replicating—or attempting to replicate—the styles and staples of famous artists in the past... but the one thing that all these artists have in common was that their minds were new, their works innovative... so why shouldn't art students be tasked to reach within the very same depths of their own soul to bring out their inner innovative artist, as well? Instead of simply replicating art from the past, and putting it into a portfolio in the hopes that some lousy liberal arts college finds them interesting. Of course, learning the history of art, and of famous artists, is rivetting, and is very interesting in its own rite. However, I believe curriculums should be encouraging artists to think outside of the box, instead of restricting them to a singular prompt or already-existing art style to simply replicate. And I understand, while restriction can be quite good for innovation at points... it shouldn't be the entirety of the curriculum. Give student artists a sense of importance, embolden them to discover their own identity through their art! Encourage them to do as they please! I've learned my lesson, and never again will I consider the notion of either attending an art school, an art class, nor will I submit porfolios of my art to any sort of institution. For my written works, maybe... but with physical artwork... that is a very different ballpark.

Anyways, those are my top five artist / writer pet peeves! Sorry, it drones on forever, but I simply had to take advantage of this ask and let it alllll out. So thank you, @miz-orque, for this ask, as it gave me a good opportunity to reflect upon my vices. ^_^

[enasallavellan]

Antivan Crow Headcanons

So, I have some headcanons about how the Antivan Crows work. Since I wanted to dive more into the Crows' inner workings in my most recent fic, I decided to expand on the whole thing in my little gremlin brain. Now, I've decided, that maybe people as gremlin-like as me can see them too!

Couple of things: I refer to the Crow houses as nests - I don’t know if I made that up or read/heard it somewhere, so you’ll hear me use that term when I’m talking about the actual area/building the crows inhabit. And also, to avoid sentences like, ‘The crows didn’t like when crows blah, blah, blah, I will from here on out refer to the overall group as the Antivan Crows, and individuals as crows. I know it might sound a little weird and repetitive, but I can’t really find a good way to do it otherwise.

SO BUCKLE UP BUTTERCUPS, IT'S GONNA BE A WILD RIDE!

(under the cut, obviously)

Different Nests, Different rules.

This one is very self-explanatory. Each house has a slightly different culture, rules, and standards.  Some nests don’t get involved in certain jobs and hold their Crows to some sort of code.  Most have at least a few hard nos of what sorts of jobs they take and what behaviors individual crows might engage in. For instance, one nest might forbid their Crows from making deaths needlessly painful or prolonged if the mark hasn’t actually done anything wrong, just pissed off a noble. I’m sure there’s at least one nest that is kind of a ‘do whatever, we don’t give a fuck’ house. But most have some sort of hard nos.

The Way Things Stay the Same

So, Zevran mentions that the Antivan Crows put their younger recruits in a building near a tannery, which leads me to believe that they have different paces for different people. So, maybe up until they’re a certain age they stay in the same area as the prostitutes. I’m just gonna guess maybe 8-10ish when you can kind of take care of yourself. They get shipped into a building with as many kids as they can put in one room and with only the occasional crow to stick his head, see if anyone is dead, then leave. As the recruits get older and continue to show promise, their living situation will change.  Older recruits that have survived the first slew of training that tends to kill a lot of recruits, might get a tiny little crackerbox room. Like five feet by five room with a bed, but not just a bed  - a very small trunk for personal belonging and a hook to hang shit with! Too tall for the provided bed? Find a way to get comfortable, because you’re stuck there for a bit. 

Because what better incentive would a kid in this life than to let them go from a shitty place with no privacy (especially as they get older) to a slightly last shitty place where you have a mild amount of privacy in your tiny room and paper-thin walls. (I like to imagine that every so often a few of the recruits are roughhousing and get knocked/fall into an interior wall they just end up on the other side of it covered in debris).

Eventually, you move into the nest proper with similarly small rooms but now it's near the food and you don’t have to walk twenty or thirty minutes to food.

It would be within the Antivan Crows’ best interest to keep their recruits and crows in a somewhat central location so they can have as much control over their crows as humanly possible.  Having basically ‘dorms’ for the crows would be a good way to do that.  And you can get some nice places if you get good enough, so there’s still a reason for the recruits not to run away. Just as Zevran says - a crow is well supplied with sex and alcohol, but as far as having a lot of personal freedoms? Well, he did say it was a gilded cage. Granted, there are crows who make enough money and are regarded well enough that they can live some very lucrative lives - some might work much less than others, but because they’re extremely skilled at their job, they only need to take a few big jobs here and there and have no issues.  But the average crow lives a relatively short life and with no way to extricate themselves from the Antivan Crows.

But there are other reasons for all the crows to control as much as they can. They have control over food, which I’ll talk about a little more when I talk about the kitchen girls.

No Idle Children

Younger recruits do simple tasks; bringing written correspondences around the nest, making deliveries, and acting as gofers to whatever a crow happens to need something (just snatch a kid running past for immediate service). As they get older, they do more and more complex jobs. Occasionally, kids might actually assist or participate in jobs.  Acting as bait or a distraction is a great job for the younger ones. A little girl rushing up to a stranger, begging and pleading for assistance, would be a very good way to get the target right where a trap is waiting for them.

This also gives the recruits time to watch things in action. A well-regarded recruit might go to complete a job with a fully trained crow if they’re deemed skilled enough - and may even get a few coins for it. 

Second Generation Crows

They have to exist. The Crows have access to the brothel, there are going to be kids. But this can be a very weird and tricky thing to handle depending on the parent. 

Your average crow is probably not going to give much thought to a kid - and with no pressure to have anything to do with a kid, it’s rare a crow would be remotely involved in the life of their child. Despite this, any concerns about birth control go out the window, since each child born in the brothel is one more potential crow or prostitute. On top of that, most of the Antivan Crow-run brothels have enough prostitutes that having a few here and there not quite able to work isn’t a big deal to the Antivan Crows’ profits. Granted, the women can’t stay out of work too long because if they run out of money to pay their rent, they’re on the streets or dead. So, working as long as you’re able to get jons and getting back as soon as humanly possible would be integral for a prostitute to keep their home and job. 

Now, some women might keep their children a little longer, but the ability to do this is directly impacted by how ‘important’ a prostitute is. And by ‘keep their child’ I mean they keep them in their room to sleep and involve themselves in their lives while they can.

The child of a very high-ranking crow or prostitute might be afforded some smaller comforts the others would be denied. Oh, they’d still be either Crows or prostitutes, but they might have lighter duties or private lessons to give them a boost in their chances of being able to make a life for themselves. There most likely are families (and I use that term loosely) that have been in the Antivan Crows for generations - but at the end of the day, what matters is that the nest is running smoothly and everyone is making money for the organization.

But honestly, I would say that there might be a handful of kids who have ever actually gotten out of the Antivan Crows without being a crow. But for most? There are two choice - three if you count dying, which I will talk about…

The Pipeline: The Crow Path

I mentioned before that I feel like the Antivan Crows would keep all their people in a few general areas, both as a way to keep control as well as monitor certain things. So some sort of staff will be needed.

So, there are two roles that a kid might go - go into crow training or work as staff.

Boys will all go into crow raining. No ifs, ands, or buts. Girl crows are less common but do exist. So if a girl has a temperament and resilience that might have a chance? She gets tossed in with all the others.

Recruits live a life of difficult training, torture (you know, so they can learn to resist it), cutthroat competition, and being subjected to the wills of the older crows - which opens the doors for all sorts of additional abuses. Generally, a recruit can expect a beating if they break a rule, cause problems, or irritate someone enough. Depending on what the issue is and the mood of whoever is doing the beating, it might be getting whacked with a stick once or twice, or all the way up to having a few people wail on you for a while. Denying food and sleep might also be used, as well as isolation in a very damp and chilly room.

 And absolutely, positively, don’t you dare fucking cry. Even the kitchen girls are held to this - crying is weak, and crying gets you beat.

The Pipeline: The Staff Path

Girls begin their work in the kitchens. Now, the life of a kitchen girl seems like a pretty sweet deal at first. Yes, they work hard in the kitchens, but outside of those duties, they have free time.  They also have a degree of respect from the crows - after all, they do have control over the food, and if you want a certain food you need to be on the good side of the kitchen girls.

And you get on their bad side? They might purposively make things you hate, or it’s bad enough, you just might get a plate of overly poisoned food.

Now, all the food has mild amounts of different types of poisons and toxins so the crows can build up immunities.  It’s not enough to kill anyone, but you can imagine the new recruits having a really bad time for the first few weeks. So all it takes is a mild slip and suddenly - oops! You’re either dead or going to spend a while wishing you were dead.

And many of the girls form tight friendships in the kitchens - something denied to crows and the recruits (never know who might stab you in the back). The kitchen girls are also in charge of what goes into the kitchens. They’re sent out to markets to sample what is being sold and decide which vendors to buy from. There’s a crow somewhere nearby keeping tabs on them, both to keep them out of trouble and keep trouble away from them. And one of the kitchen girls is easy to spot - there's a very specific shade of blue that is only made for the Antivan Crows (or else). Girls have two aprons - one that is used in the kitchen and one that is used for going out into the world. And when people see those signature blue aprons - it’s obvious who they are.

So, you’re thinking to yourself - why Lacy, why would they treat these girls so well? Why would the profits-over-everything Antivan Crows spend money on resources on a group that isn’t making them money?

Well, I’ll start off by saying that these little outings of the kitchen girls are not just to let them have a fun day in the market - it’s advertising. Because once that girl reaches a certain age -  I’m sure it varies depending on the nest - they go to work upstairs. AKA, the brothel. 

So all those outings? Picking the prettiest of the kitchen girls to go out where they will be seen? You show off the goods - one day, you’ll be able to purchase one of those girls by the hour.

While some intermingling between the recruits and the staff is inevitable, it’s discouraged. And the girls are definitely discouraged from being sexually involved with anyone. There isn’t a punishment if they do, but they will miss out on a massive boost in money. We all know that there's plenty of people out there who have a weird obsession with deflowering girls. So if a girl has abstained, their first job is auctioned off to the highest bidder. A girl can make good money from that. And unlike kitchen girls, prostitutes have to pay rent to the Antivan Crows - which is taken out of anything they make. As they get older, they get less and less support. If they don’t make enough money, they go back to staff, specifically cleaning. Cleaners don’t have anything near the life they once had as kitchen girls, since they’ve already been used up.  So for the most part, they’re ignored by the rest of the nest (if they’re even seen) and live in bare-bones housing.

But there is one particually chilling danger a kitchen girl faces. 

Every so often.

Maybe once or twice on a bad year.

A particularly pretty kitchen girl might simply disappear.

Their friends might be sad, but there would be no time for all that - there’s kitchen work to do. Everyone knows, nobody talks about it, and it’s accepted as just Something That Just Happens Sometimes.

Sex, fine - love, no.

So it seems a common trend that love is forbidden in the Antivan Crows.  It’s a distraction and a weakness that can be exploited.  So it’s a major, no-go. Sex? They don’t care; have as much sex as you want. Now, this no-love clause goes for crows and prostitutes, but also for recruits and kitchen girls. After all, a bunch of them are probably teenagers and there’s not much use in trying to stop something that’s just going to happen.

So a decision must be made. If one is a crow and the other not, the crow is made to kill the person they love, or they both die. If it’s two crows, then they either pick the more promising crow to do the killing, or if they’re pretty equal they just leave them in a room with a knife and see who comes out. This, in turn, makes something very clear to the remaining member. This especially hits older recruits and younger crows who might not have the foresight to think about the long-term effects of a romantic affair.

Templars, Watch Yourselves.

Mages are great for the Antivan Crows - people who are their own weapons or can patch up their assassins are invaluable. So, the nest will offer those mages protection in exchange for using their magic in some way to make money for the nest. 

For the most part, the templars and the Antivan Crows don’t bother each other, so long as the nests aren’t flagrant about it. 

Now, this is where headcanon ends and my own fic begins, but I’ll tell you about a little thing that I decided went down. 

Templars got sick of perfectly good mages escaping and getting to be safe with a criminal network, so they decided to make an example of a smaller house in Salla. They hired the Antivan Crows through a particularly devout and rich noble, tasking them with quashing a nonexistent rebellion.  Once most of the crows in the nest were halfway across Antiva, the templars made their move. They overtook the nest, and snatched as many mage kids and adults as they could, killing the ones they couldn’t take alive.

Then, to let the Antivan Crows know just how naughty they were by defying the templars for so long - they barred the exits and burned it to the ground. You could count the number of survivors who weren’t taken by the templars on one hand.

The Antivan Crows respond with coordinated attacks on the Antivan templar order. Templars might have some diet-magic and armor and specific training, but the Antivan Crows massively outnumber them - and they’re trained to kill. Not to defend or control or subdue, but to kill.

In other words, the Antian Crows brought the templars to their kness. 

From that point on, the templars leave the crows the hell alone.

Happiness in a Nest

But, it’s not all doom and gloom. As with every situation, people make the best of what they’re given. Whether they admit it or not, most crows have some fair-weather friends and a few might even have friends they trust. Children in the nest find ways to have fun and even play. Older kids find ways to sneak out for a night of fun and bad decisions. When the workday is over, prostitutes socialize and play cards over glasses of wine. 

Good memories are made, even in a nest.

In conclusion.

Life with the Antivan Crows is just like living under the crushing weight of modern capitalism - it only benefits the upper echelon and anyone that can’t make money is deemed useless and cast aside.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

Leave a comment/reblog or message me with any questions or share your own headcanons! I look forward to hearing from y'all!

[idontwanttospoiltheparty]

John Lennon Tribute Songs – Musings and Impressions

I decided this morning to look into what John Lennon tribute songs (+songs about John's death) are out there and found the results quite mixed but interesting. So here's some of my thoughts on them.

Includes songs by: Bob Dylan, The Cranberries, David Gilmour, Elton John, George Harrison, Yoko Ono, Paul McCartney, Paul Simon, Queen.

All Those Years Ago – George Harrison (1981)

Roll On John – Bob Dylan (2012)

Probably the most classic tribute song on this list, which is why I'm mentioning it first. I think it's somewhat misunderstood, because in my opinion it is far more personal than it's sometimes given credit for, even though it does fall into some clichés with how it references John's songs. It's overall positive, focusing on the good aspects of John and George's relationship as well as of John's legacy as a whole, with a few problematizing nuggets peppered in ("Living with good and bad"; "You had control of our smiles and our tears"). I see how the religious edge might be off-putting to some, but it feels incredibly earnest to me. The rock n' roll guitar riff is a lovely tribute to John's unabashed love for that genre.

(Also, I wrote a bit more in depth about the song and how I think it relates to George's view of John here.)

This is not a song I can justify the existence of. If it had been released shortly after John's murder maybe, but I don't see what it brought to the table 30+ years after the fact. It feels extremely gimmicky, dropping simplistic lyrical references and Wikipedia-page facts, and otherwise doesn't seem like it has anything substantial to say. I don't think these types of songs have to be written by someone who had a deep personal connection with the subject, but none of this feels natural, earned, or remotely insightful and the emotions are rather vapid.

Murder – David Gilmour (1984)

This song is musically interesting and the lyrics are quite compelling, but the centering of MDC's point of view is somewhat uncomfortable, given the actual context of his motivations. I feel this song works better as a reflection on murder as a concept, rather than a specific murder.

I Just Shot John Lennon – The Cranberries (1996)

The title of this one worried me but actually it sounds like it could be on Some Time in New York City if you threw a few saxes onto it; John wrote about tragedies in a very similar way (like the Troubles, which The Cranberries – of course – also wrote about). Despite the directness, this works and feels poignant rather than edgy.

Empty Garden (Hey Hey Johnny) – Elton John (1982)

I like the way this song opens with the metaphor of a gardener, giving the song a degree of universality, not just in the sense that John "belonged to the world" but also that it could be related to any loss. This is contrasted with the bridge ("And I've been knockin', but no one answers…"), where John is finally name-dropped, which adds such a personal touch to the song. It's masterful and heartbreaking, especially given the fact that Elton was having trouble getting through to John during his lifetime as well. A wonderful, heartfelt tribute.

The Late Great Johnny Ace – Paul Simon (1983)

This feels less like a tribute and more like a reflection on history. John's death in 1980 is contrasted with Johnny Ace's death in 1954, as well as John F. Kennedy's in 1963. The music is harrowing and intriguing, which really underlines the senselessness of all these deaths. I enjoy the observed parallelisms and the way Paul manages to make the song personal despite not having a close rapport with John. In that way it kind of reminds me of A Day In The Life.

I Don't Know Why – Yoko Ono (1981)

Life Is Real (Song for Lennon) – Queen (1982)

Like Here Today mentioned below, this is more of an anti-tribute song in my view. Ultimately it seems that to Yoko, the search for meaning in John's death is fruitless. Musically, the song is a bit long and repetitive, but as she sings: "You left me, you left me, you left me without words."

Also, the story the album cover tells is poignant, possibly more so than any song on it: a glass, which could be half empty or half full; the fog like an uncertain future, clouding the New York skyline; a pair of glasses, the ghost of a lost loved one; and vision itself, forever obstructed by the murder Yoko was forced to witness.

Musically, I find this one to be quite wonderful and I think I can see how it was influenced by John's sound to an extent. But it also appears to be so personal to Freddie Mercury as well as rather cryptic that it feels odd as a tribute, per se. That's not really a problem in my opinion, but it's notable that without the name-drop it wouldn't even be obvious this song was about someone – let alone John Lennon – having died. This makes the "(Song For Lennon)" part of the title feel a tad performative.

Here Today – Paul McCartney (1982)

It was thinking about this song this morning that prompted me to go listen to the other entries. While "All Those Years Ago" is a song in which George seems to proclaim that he understands John better than most people, on "Here Today", Paul discredits himself as a source on John basically immediately; within the first few lines of the song, he asserts that John would laugh in response to Paul claiming he really knew John. He's in a sense shooting down the idea of writing a straightforward tribute like George's because he does not appear to trust himself to make absolute statements on who John was. Instead, he shifts the focus to his own experience of their relationship, declaring that he loves John and is thankful, despite their possible lack of mutual understanding.

The song is fiercely personal and does not leave space for someone to relate to it as an uninvolved fan of John's, or even as one of John's loved ones who is not Paul, like Empty Garden and All Those Years Ago do. And yet Paul plays this song every night in concert as a tribute. It fascinates me deeply, not to mention it is lyrically one of his standout pieces as well as immensely moving musically.

[sin-cognito]

Rarepair New Year 2024 ch8: Sans/Error, Bad bro AU

SFW

Wordcount: 2932

Error has been checking on the original universe a lot lately.

READ ON AO3

Error has been checking on the original universe a lot lately.

He usually doesn't pay it much attention anymore, what with being busy keeping up with the new alternate universes that are born everyday and are invading the story. His hatred for each and every one of them hasn't wavered since the day he was born, and it's a daily struggle to destroy them enough that they cannot be resurrected.

He remembers how he used to check on Undertale all the time back in the day, when he could count the number of alternate universes on the fingers of one hand. Things were simpler back then, and he misses that time when he could take a peek at Undertale and marvel at the happy faces of his beloved original characters.

They're all treasures to him. Toriel, Papyrus, Grillby, the dog, Asgore, Temmie, Alphys and Undyne…

Sans.

Sans is special. He's always been, for Error anyway. He's a part of him, but also not. Being nothing but a string of coding in a simulation, Error doesn't believe in any deity, but if he had to, he'd choose Sans. That's how important the skeleton is to Error.

Call it a crush, Error doesn't mind. He's given up a long time ago putting words onto the adoration he feels for Sans. Sans is special to him and that's all that matters.

Error has always taken great pleasure observing Sans. He never interracts, rarely even pays Undertale an actually visit because even when he does, he needs to stay hidden and make sure no one sees him. They're not aware of the alternate universes in Undertale, it's still only one of Alphys' unproven theories and Error intends to keep it that way.

(It would complicate things if Sans were to form a friendship with his alternates.)

(Because, well… Error's goal is to destroy said alternates.)

Lately though, Error had been too busy to check on Sans on a regular basis, but that has changed with the last Full Reset.

It's always the same with Undertale: all the characters' little, prewritten lives get upended the moment Frisk falls underground from the surface. There are generally three ways things can go from there: a pacifist run where Frisk befriends everyone (except Error), a neutral run where Frisk harms some of the monsters, and a genocide run which is self-explanatory. The later is Error's least favorite, because it's the one where Sans will die no matter what. The neutral run has the wildest variations in terms of results, as the end depends on how many monsters the human child has hurt, as well as their identity; the outcome greatly differs depending on whether Frisk has killed a random Froggit or a boss monster like Undyne.

There is no discernable pattern regarding which path Frisk will choose when they first wake up in the ruins. Error believes that they're more often pacifist than not, but he's too lazy to actually keep track.

When Frisk reaches the end of the story, one of two things will happen: either they free Monsterkind and spend the epilogue with them on the surface, or they don't.

After that, it's only a matter of time before the whole story resets to the very beginning, before Frisk even gets underground. None of the characters are aware of this, but being outside of the story's code, Error is allowed to observe. He then can watch as everything plays out again from the very beginning: the creation of the world, the war between Humans and Monsters, Gaster, the Underground and its various areas, the creation of Sans and Papyrus and how they grow up.

Error watched attentively the first few times, but it'd be a lie to say that it doesn't get repetitive after a while. Not boring, just… less exciting. (Except Sans. Sans is always interesting.) Still, Error enjoys watching again around the time right before Frisk arrives. Sans usually is fun to follow at that time, as he goes about his daily life in Snowdin, unaware of the presence of the little human in the ruins. Error will never get tired of the first time Sans and Frisk meet.

Error's current predicament is that there's been a glitch this time when the story loaded. It's not the first time, it's even happened once that there was no war between the Humans and the Monsters, but it always levels out one way or the other. It's also distinctively different from what an alternate universe is, because this is still very much the story of Undertale, just with a glitch in there. It's more of a timeline mistake, really.

And it's exactly what's happening here. Somewhere around the time Papyrus was created in this timeline, some source code glitched and the correct personality file didn't upload properly, resulting in Papyrus… well… being an asshole. A big one even.

He's not worse than some of what Error has seen in alternate universes, but it has still profoundly affected the balance of his relationship with his brother and as a result, Sans and him are far from being close, which is a key component to the original story.

To put it plainly, Papyrus is a bad brother who regularly hurts Sans, both physically and mentally.

It's hard to watch for Error, who is so very attached to Sans, more than Papyrus at least, but he reasons that it's only temporary. Soon Frisk will show up and do the whole befriend or kill everyone thing and then it'll all reset and start again. The glitch should be fixed by then. Hopefully.

But Error can't quite stop himself for checking on Sans more regularly, and what he sees rarely appease him. If Sans had some down moments in previous timelines, it's nothing compared to how depressed he is right now, and Error has to bite his tongue hard to stop himself from barging in when he witnesses from the safety of his void how nasty Papyrus can be in this timeline. He says and does things to his older brother that make Error's marrow boil.

For the most part, Sans accepts the harshness. He doesn't know better, he's grown up with this twisted version of Papyrus and knows nothing of the genuine care he's supposed to feel for the other. It doesn't help Error's feelings settle, because at the end of the day, all he's going to see is Sans hanging his skull low as he discreetly flees into the woods for a silent cry. Error can't do much besides staying there, watching helplessly Sans cry his SOUL out and offering words of hollow comfort that Sans will not hear.

Today is such a day. Sans is cooking in the kitchen, making lunch, before Papyrus shows up and blows up at his brother for no apparent reason. He says awful things and threatens Sans to beat him up, Sans tries to diffuse the situation but it doesn't work, of course, and the two have a big fight that culminates in Papyrus throwing an attack at Sans, who teleports out of the way before he runs out the door.

When he'd usually go into the woods to calm down, this time Sans hurries to the basement, where Gaster's broken universe-hopping machine waits. Error gets scared that Sans might try to fiddle with it and find another universe to run away to, to get as far from Papyrus as possible, and Error can't let that happen. It's not the first time Sans fixes the machine, he usually turns really desperate during neutral runs where his brother doesn't survive and thinks that the device is a time machine that will let him go back before Frisk beheads Papyrus. Error always manages to make it so that Sans doesn't accidentally universe-hops, but with the glitch affecting this timeline, he doesn't know whether his usual methods will work or not.

Sans randomly presses at all the buttons on the keyboard and even though Error knows that won't do shit until the machine itself is fixed, he knows that Sans is one breakdown away from trying that. Error panics and, trying to get closer to see what Sans is doing, he enters the machine. His outsource code messes with the piece of junk, enough that in the blink of a glitch, he finds himself thrown onto the hard cold floor of the basement.

He coughs and shakes his skull as he rubs his arm, looking back at the damn machine. He makes a mental note never to set foot into that thing again. Who knows what kind of consequences such a glitch could have in the future? Error would rather not find out.

He clumsily gets back up and turns around to check on Sans and see how he's doing with the keyboard.

Only to find Sans staring at him, his eyesockets still wet with angry tears and his mouth wide agape.

Error immediately understands the situation and lets out a long, tired sigh.

"fuck."

Sans is momentarily distracted from his pain, which Error is thankful for, and throws a billion questions at him, wondering who he is and where he comes from and why his bones are so dark and if he's related to Sans and why he actually looks like Sans' twin but with black bones and how he got here and so many more that by the time Error gets a word in, it's already night out.

Error explains very roughly who he is, not bothering with the most complicated details. Sans doesn't need to know, it's better if he doesn't actually. Error then very quickly stirs the conversation into comforting words and encouragements, telling Sans that there's something wrong with Papyrus and not with him, and that's why he's lashing out at his big brother so much.

Sans lets out a pitiful and heart breaking chuckle at that.

"yeah well, maybe if i wasn't so damn pathetic he'd be less on my case."

It leaves a bad taste in Error's mouth. Even if he knows that Frisk's Full Reset of the story will fix the glitch, he doesn't like Sans thinking like this, ever.

"no, sans, you don't understand. papyrus is not supposed to be like this. he's a good brother, and you're a good brother too. it's just a glitch," Error tries to explain as best he can. "you two get along really well, you're always spending time together and you never fight, not for real. you tease each other and banter a lot, but it's always in good spirits. i've never seen two monsters get along as well as you and papyrus, i promise."

There's a shift in Sans' eyelights as he listens to Error speak and then he smiles bitterly, his voice sad and broken and wet as he says, "but my papyrus will never be like that, right? because he's just a glitch."

Error realizes how he did the very opposite of comforting Sans as he watches the other crumble into sobs. Sans curls into himself like he's trying to disappear and make the pain go away.

Error is at a loss, he doesn't know what to do. His mind is blank, and so he doesn't think about what he's doing as his arms wrap around Sans' oh so small frame. He pulls Sans into his chest and rocks him as Sans wails into his arms, his hands shakily gripping at the front of Error's jacket.

Error can't do much more than apologize for revealing the hurtful truth to Sans and reassure him as best he can that at least he has Error now to confide in, or vent whenever Papyrus harms him. Error vows that he'll never leave Sans alone and hurt anymore. That's the least he can do. He might not be able to fix the glitch, but he can try to make Sans' current timeline a better experience.

They start to hang out, a lot. If Error avoided making any contact with the characters before, he shrugs that there's no point in hiding his existence now that Sans knows about it. He swears to himself never to intervene in future timelines, but this one is a lost case anyway, and he might as well enjoy Sans' company.

Turns out that Sans is an even more wonderful monster that Error thought, which says a lot, considering how high he already thought of the chubby skeleton. Sans is smart, fun, caring, witty, beautiful and Error is drawn to him like a moth to a flame. He's quick to get out of his depressive funk Error accidentally provoked, and gets livelier and happier each day he spends with Error. They usually just stay in the basement, chatting and playing games, but sometimes Sans brings him to the Snowdin forest, where they build snow sculptures, play between the trees, share secrets under the falling snow and just overall have an amazing time.

The sadness sometimes comes back to Sans' eyelights, but it's quickly replaced by unbridled joy when he spots Error. He knows then that his day is going to be better. With time, he shows less and less bitterness about Papyrus. His brother's nasty words seem to not reach him as deep anymore, and Error is relieved for Sans.

They spend about four months like that, hanging out together everyday, until Error finally announces the news that the little human is on their way. Frisk will arrive in the Underground within a week or two, and if they're in a good mood, Monsterkind might even get freed.

He makes sure not to mention the possibility of a genocide run. Sans doesn't need to hear about it in this timeline. He's suffered enough and ignorance is bliss.

(And if push comes to shove, Error is ready to intervene this time, whatever that entails.)

"you'll get to see the surface!" Error beams at his friend. "the sunset, and the stars, and the sky. And real rain and real snow."

"wow… that sounds nice," Sans whispers in awe with a beautiful smile. "i can't wait."

Sans carefully lets his skull drop on Error's shoulder. Error is tempted to wrap a comforting arm around Sans' waist, but he doesn't go further than thinking about it. He splashes his feet into the water of the luminescent stream in front of them instead. Sans is right, Waterfall really is the best place to hang out.

"error, what will happen to you when the human comes?" Sans asks after a while. "you said that i'm supposed to befriend them, but what about you? you're kinda me, right? will you be their friend too?"

Error hums. He does care about Frisk a great deal and would love to hang out with the tiny human, especially if Sans is there as well. He can already picture the three of them playing in the snow by the entrance of the ruins. Maybe Sans and Error could sneak up behind Frisk and surprise them, that could be fun.

He shakes his skull gently.

"i'll fade in the background for a while. it's your story, sans, and i don't want to influence it more than i already have. i've already said more than i was allowed to, to be honest."

Sans pouts. "hmmm. not fun." He then adds in a quieter voice. "what about papyrus? is he going to be the human's friend too? or is he going to…"

Sans doesn't need to finish the thought and Error does wrap that arm around the other, squeezing him reassuringly.

"don't worry about this, sans. it's almost over anyway. when frisk gets here and finishes their run, the world will be reset and papyrus will go back to normal. the risks of the same glitch happening again are very slim, so you'll forget he even treated you that way and you two will be best brothers again. i promise."

Suddenly, Sans sits up, removing his skull from Error's shoulder, making him miss the contact. Error worries he said something wrong again and stares intently at his friend.

"i'll forget about it? about papyrus being mean to me? really?"

"yes, sans. i know it's hard to imagine for you right now, but trust me. you're going to forget this timeline, everything about it, and then you'll be happy again." Error scratches his cheek as he looks to the side and adds, "i'm not saying things will be easy for you, you also struggle in other timelines, but you'll have papyrus to support you. you won't remember how awful he is right now."

This doesn't seem to be the thing to say to cheer Sans up, because it doesn't work and Sans looks almost gloomier with each new word that goes out of Error's mouth, so he shuts up, waiting for Sans to speak his mind.

Error's patience is rewarded a couple minutes later.

"what if i don't want to forget?"

Error blinks.

"what?"

"i think i don't want to forget." This time, Sans looks straight at Error.

"but… why? you'll be happier if you forget all of this ever happened."

"not if i have to forget you."

The words barely register before Error feels Sans' teeth press against his mouth. He instinctively closes his eyesockets and lets Sans kiss him. Sans runs his tongue along Error's teeth, asking for entrance that is easily granted.

Only the echo flowers around them witness their love, and they too will forget all about this soon.

But even if Sans and the echo flowers and the entire world forget about this moment, Error will remember.

Error will never forget.

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

Don't you want devoted followers who leave their families for you, give their money to you, give their bodies to you, give up their lives for you, consider you god, and will kill for you?

Don't you want to become a cult leader?

Since the death of God there's been a vacancy open. You could fill that void. Here's how.

Structure your cult like an onion, with the most benign and helpful features on the outside, and the most controlling, kooky and evil parts of the secret inner core.

With the most benign and helpful features on the outside.

And the most controlling, kooky and evil parts of the secret inner core.

Use deception. Don't tell them who you really are. Lie. Leave out important information or distort information.

Promise to fulfill their dreams.

Offer them something free and get them to feel obliged to give you something in return,

You can tell them time is running out and that they must make their decision now or it will be too late.

Don't give them time to think. Diminish doubting commiseration by separating your new recruits from each other. Surround them with happy true believers so when in doubt they will tend to do what everyone around them is doing and believe that is normal.

Surround them with happy true believers so when in doubt they will tend to do what everyone around them is doing and believe that is normal.

Surround them with happy true believers so when in doubt they will tend to do what everyone around them is doing and believe that is normal.

Start with a prolonged period of love-bombing. Surround them with unconditional love and attention.

Your cult family should act friendly and interested. Gradually over time you'll begin to shape the recruit's behavior by granting or withholding this love and attention. After they've bonded, slowly start making your demands upon them. Control their behavior.

Control their thoughts.

Control their thoughts.

Control their thoughts.

Control their thoughts.

Control their emotions.

Induce guilt and fear.

Control information. Keep them from knowing all the workings of the cult. Block out any information which is critical of the group.

Claim authority. It can come from a divine source, bogus scientific research or special knowledge.

Make up stories about yourself to boost your importance.

But don't be stupid about it.

Start slowly. A good con man takes a little bit of truth and a lot of lies and pulls the wool over the eyes of the ignorant.

Induce trance states and self-hypnosis by practicing thought-stopping rituals and repetitive acts like dancing, spinning, singing and chanting.

Revert them back to childhood dependence and mindless obedience.

Revert them back to childhood dependence and mindless obedience.

Revert them back to childhood dependence and mindless obedience.

In these trance states, they are more receptive and suggestible encourage separation from their family.

Encourage dependency and conformity and discourage autonomy and individuality.

Have confessionals where people demonize their early lives and only praise their life in the group. Rewrite the past as terrible.

Tighten your group's bond by establishing scapegoats and enemies. Demonize outsiders as less than human, biased, corrupt or conspiring against the group. Develop an "us versus them" mentality. Tell them their critical thoughts are evidence that they have committed crimes against the group. Start investigating them and make up crimes.

Make them feel guilty.

Make it easier for them to die for you by calling their bodies "containers" that are shed before they evolve into higher life forms.

It's that simple. Now don't you want to become a cult leader? Don't you want devoted followers who'll leave their families for you, give their money to you, give their bodies to you, give up their lives for you, and will kill for you?

==

It's disturbing how both the gender cult and traditional religions want to encourage you to surrender and disregard your body, the only thing that makes you you, in preference to a disembodied, nebulous "essence."

[kalena-henden]

Destined With You Final Thoughts

THE GOOD

Rowoon - Every new role I see him in (Extraordinary You and Tomorrow), I feel like he's grown leaps and bounds as an actor. Here he got to be literally be EVERYTHING. He was an arrogant emotionless jerk, a lovesick puppy who says the cutest most ridiculously things, a serious no-nonsense professional who's great at his job, a man struggling with his feelings and choices, a devoted protective lover, gutted and sobbing over life or death circumstances, respectful patient attentive boyfriend, an impulsive and passionate lover. I know we say ALL THE EMOTIONS sometimes but he literally when through them all.

Jo Bo Ah - Hongjo was a hard character for me because she was so passive and let everyone walk all over her again and again. Her saving grace is she always stood up to Shinyu and eventually learned to stand up to those around her. I could easily be annoyed with this character if it was played by a less competent actress.

Ha Joon - I enjoyed his turn as a suave lawyer who's actually a total dork in his personal life so much so that I started watching his new 50-episode family drama, Live Your Own Life, where he's finally the male lead with his own romance. Jaekyung came as Hongjo's sage guide when she needed him and happily exited when she was settled. Honestly, not a bad arc for a SML.

Shinyu's mom, Shinyu's lawyer friend, Hongjo's Landlady, Uram and his grandfather, and Shinyu's assistant - These characters were alot of fun and added to the depth of the story. I wish we had actually gotten more development from them which would have filled out this story a bit better.

Symbolism & Magic - This show is rife with well thought out symbolism. Love all the flower/plant stuff around Hongjo (Bloom) and Shinyu (Groot) equating to a blossoming and thriving relationship. The magic is actually pretty well explained and is there if you're interested in it.

THE BAD

Dropping the Magic Halfway Through - I am EXTREMELY disappointed in a show billed as a FANTASY ROMANCE that went to painstaking care to introduce the spells and curses to be like oops! don't care if the spells worked or not but we kinda care if the big curse is real cause we want to keep Shinyu in perpetual danger. Like I have ZERO respect that the FANTASTY aspect was dropped (and no the reincarnation plotline doesn't count). I feel hoodwinked and things make even less sense now. It's basically a JJ Abrams Mystery Box level of non-sensical bulls*t which is one of the main reasons I stopped watching most Western shows. It also leaves MASSIVE holes about how and why the Gardener and Nayeon started working together as well how did they learn about and come to believe the curses would even work. It was just she's a backstabbing two-faced bully and he's an insane murderer but zilch on their motivations. I really wanted a mini-montage of the black magic curses that were so well foreshadowed. I'm unsure if this was a writing call or directing call because in Korea the directors have final edit rights, not the writers. What got left on the cutting room floor?

Hongjo's coworkers - Why were they so terrible and unfunny the entire time? They were also irrelevant to the plot. The only good thing was her boss stopping the others from bullying Hongjo. It wasted time that could have been given to the side characters l liked (see above).

Noble Idiocracy & Repetitive Danger - I'm not sure which is worse that they repeatedly put themselves in danger time after time (even when bad things kept happening to them) or they broke up or stayed apart for the other person's 'benefit'. *face palm* If it was a great story, I can forgive some of this but...

The Pacing/Editing - If they had done a big reveal of the magic and other stuff at the end that really brought things to a climax, I would be like yeah it was slow at points but look at the payoff! Instead, I'm looking back at this going, if this is the story you wanted to tell, it could use a serious overhaul in HOW it was told. Even though there was stuff I liked about this drama, I wasn't that emotionally invested.

VERDICT

I would only recommend watching this to see Rowoon act his heart out and be in a ridiculously cute and sexy romance. That's it.

I'm sad because I really loved deep diving into this show. It could have been so much more like Goblin, Doom At Your Service, or Alchemy of Souls.

[pantalaiimon]

I've seen dune part 2 twice now (both within a 24 hours interval lol)

the expectations were humongous, the hype was real

and at first, I was a bit thrown off by how much it veered away from the book compared to part 1 - so much so that I was thrown off the pacing of the movie and had trouble getting into its rhythm (because i kept thinking back to changes from 5 minutes before), anyway that first viewing experience was a mess for me

now that I've had more time with it, I can safely say I love the movie. I think I prefer part 1 in some ways (I prefer contemplative & moody to action-packed & drama), but I also love how part 2 leans even more unapologetically into the utter weirdness of the source material, and how cinematic it is

it looks gorgeous (even moreso than part 1), the acting is good to superb, but the dialogue could be better (compared to the books and to part 1), and hans zimmer recycled the first score which I found to be a real disappointment: even though it's still good, it's too repetitive

now unto specifics (incl. potential spoilers):

I am 100% harkonnen trash (which could mean anything, as paul states quite clearly he's harkonnen too, so...) (but yeah i'm harkonnen trash as in I absolutely loved the whole giedi prime sequence, and have soul-binding devotion to & utterly unhinged sexual desire for Feyd-Rautha (yes, even bald and less scheming than in the book), because boy is he twisted in interesting ways

Alia was robbed of a lot, BUT I love the fucked up deranged codependant mother-daughter relationship she and Jessica have got going. actually i live for it, for the abomination. bring it on. Also Jessica, who was the most OOC character to me in part 1, switched to being the most IC in part 2 and i couldn't be happier?

more desert lore, from details like wind traps, to weather & travel conditions, to hints of the sandtrouts, and the whole ecological system linking spice, worms, desert & water. yay for fascinating and immersive worldbuilding (that movie makes you feel the desert, unlike the first one)

more charlotte rampling is always a good move. also sets up dune messiah beautifully. on that note, irulan was well paced, that is, she's allowed to stay muted and observant rather than front and center, again, setting her up nicely for dune messiah. however, stilgar's arc was pushed way ahead and it displeased me, because I feel it lessens the mourning and regret I remember feeling reading the books as he evolved, and how tragic his changing was (highlighting through him, that of his whole people, and their downfall into fanaticism). if the movie rushes to the end result, I care less about that change, for i can't realise and mourn for what was lost along the way. on a similar note, as they played paul as more moral at the beginning of his journey (to make him more likeable), the switch to his mahdi era was a bit jarring. so yay to mohiam & irulan character arc pacing, nay to stilgar & paul.

chani was also allowed more breathing room and dimensions/depth/inner life than in the books, and as I remember finding the book lacking in that respect, can't fault the movie for fixing this.

the ruthlessness of the politics of the landsraad and the intricacies of the manipulations by the bene gesserit were perfectly show-cased. The commentary on the dangers of messianic religions and its melding to politics was too overt for my liking. especially at this stage of the story, it's less of a warning to the insidiousness of fundamentalism if there are glaring neon signs at the onset of that path telling you "do not go, there be dragons"... I know villeneuve wanted to set up herbert's course-correction from dune messiah earlier, but it's too much too early imo

anyway, to conclude, i'd like to lick feyd-rautha's abs