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dans-den · 1 year

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The Super Mario Bros. Movie Review

Hey everyone Dan here and today I'll be reviewing the very much hyped and anticipated Super Mario Bros. Movie!

Warning!: may contain spoilers!

This movie has been hyped to hell and back as everyone thinks this is the second coming of Jesus, that may sound like an exaggeration but people were extremely excited to see this film thinking this would be like movie of the year, to which I say "cool your jets" because this movie might be great but it's definitely got its flaws. I'll be going over the Mario movies strengths and weaknesses and how they can improve if they go through with a sequel.

I want to start off by giving props to Nintendo, specifically Shigeru Miyamoto who made sure the movie was of good quality rather than a shameless cash grab. Let's be real, if Illumination was left to their own devices, they would have made this movie like the Lorax or the Minions which would have sucked for the brand. I'm glad the Nintendo team worked directly with Illumination to make sure we get the best Mario movie experience we can get. Nintendo seems to have learned from the old Mario movie from the 90's making sure this one is fully animated which I think looks great and has kept faithful to the source material the best they can in this medium. Miyamoto has been busy these last couple years in collaboration with Universal bringing Nintendo to the theme parks and to the big screen. I understand because of this he hasn't been involved with the Nintendo games as much but honestly that's not too bad considering the new products we've gotten now. I'm glad he was directly involved with this movie making it as great as it is and I do hope this leads to future Nintendo movie endeavors for stuff like Legend of Zelda, Metroid, Captain Falcon, etc. Who knows? maybe this is the start of the Super Smash Bros. Cinematic Universe.

Now this is the biggest criticism I've seen about this movie and that is, the plot. Now the plot isn't anything complex or story driven to the max, it's a simple story about two bros discovering a new world and fighting an evil threat. This movie is taking the Sonic Movie approach where they're not trying to make it exactly like the games in terms of story, they're just treading the waters and seeing how it goes. Sonic did this and did this well enough to get a sequel where they were able to expand on the lore and bring out more characters from the Sonic universe. Mario has its atmosphere, but hasn't gone deep into its stories and lore just yet. I think the story is good for what it is, though it does seem messy at times like its about rescuing Luigi then its about rescuing the Mushroom Kingdom/Peach, it's like they couldn't decide on a plot so they merge two plots together. It's not even done like a plot A and plot B, it is done like merging two plots as one which can get messy at times. Now my major complaint with the story/plot is its pacing. Everything happens so fast that I can't really take it all in or process what's happening. I felt the movie was (much like the games) rushed to meet a deadline and the pacing is barely done well enough to make it comprehendible. Now I see why the movie came out so soon, the pacing is just too fast like this was made for kids with ADHD (though I also have that too but even I could barely follow). I felt they should have made the movie at least a solid 2 hours so that the pacing would be better and we can take it all in better.

The cast was another concern for this film was the cast, specifically Chris Pratt as Mario. I was also concerned about it and after seeing his performance, he actually didn't do too bad of a job. His Mario reminds me of the Super Mario show accent where they sound like they're Italians from Brooklyn rather than just straight up Italians like in the games. I was afraid it would be Chris Pratt being himself as a character but he did manage to give his Mario personality which is good. the weakest performance came from Seth Rogens Donkey Kong. That one was just Seth phoning it in and did not give enough personality to Donkey Kong which is a shame since I love Donkey Kong. Everyone else did a good job at playing the characters especially Jack Black as Bowser. Jack Black killed it as Bowser and I'm here for it! Peaches is a hilarious song and I expected no less for the Tenacious one himself.

I will say, the Mario movie did one thing well above all and that's the references/cameos. The movie did an excellent job paying homage to the Mario games as well as other beloved Nintendo games such as Donkey Kong and even the Jump Man game that Mario originated from. My personal favorite is the DK Rap from Donkey Kong 64, I played that game all the time when I was little on my cousins N 64 back in the day and I couldn't help but sing along a bit. I know Nintendo tries to tap in on your nostalgia, but there is a reason it works. Nintendo is a powerful brand and even though I'm not a fan of the current stuff they're doing in the gaming industry, but I still enjoy the Nintendo history especially as someone who has owned the SNES, N64, GameCube, Gameboy Advance, Nintendo DS/DSi, Nintendo Wii and even the Switch (that I rarely use). I've had a lot of good memories with their games and systems and I felt all those memories when I saw the references and cameos in this film.

Overall it was a fun movie and definitely a great video game adaptation of our favorite plumbing duo. I will say that I do think this is one of the better video game movies in recent memory. I hope we get more animated video game movies like this from Nintendo and this can be another gold standard when adapting a video game into a movie or even a television show.

Rating this I'd give it:

8/10

I do think this is better than the first sonic movie or detective pikachu, but not quite up there with something like Sonic 2 and that's only because Sonic 2 had a chance to explore the lore of the Sonic universe. Hopefully the Mario movie gets a sequel to do the same thing which may be even better than Sonic 2 along with ironing out the kinks in terms of pacing and story telling. That's all I got for you guys.

See ya!

#dans den #illumination #super mario bros #mario bros #movie review #nintendo #shigeru miyamoto #super mario bros movie #universal #video games

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jacscorner · 2 years

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My Thoughts On The Super Mario Bros. Movie

Oh boy. :)

Well, 2022 sucked for me so far, but maybe 2023 will be greener.

youtube

I've wanted to talk about this before the trailer dropped yesterday, but was too slow.

I went into that direct with low expectations. I've been just...burned too many times to have high hopes.

Visually? It's gorgeous, but that's kind of expected. Not only has animation technology and skill advanced since 1985, but this is Nintendo. Mario is their Mickey Mouse. It'd be unrealistic to think this would look cheap.

Bowser sounds fine. Hell, he sounds better than fine. I didn't expect Jack Black to sound this good, but I guess that goes to show Jack Black's experience since he has a handful of VA roles and he really put his all into this role. I expected him to sound...IDK, MORE like Jack Black, since has a pretty distinct voice. And it's still there, but he REALLY sells me as the King of Koopas.

Also, just, RIP The Club Penguins. I can forgive Bowser kidnapping Peach for almost 40 years now, but I draw the line at him invading Club Penguin.

Meanwhile, while the Mario Bros. look fine-amazing even, their voices...I'm still not sold.

Chris Pratt is such a let down. He's not here cause of his acting ability or skill, if he brought any of that here. He's here cause he's Chris Pratt and Nintendo's trying to bank off the star power-lol. He's not doing Mario, he's doing Chris Pratt with a slight accent. I can ONLY assume he was going for a Lou Albano sort of interpretation as opposed to the high and flighty Charles Martinet.

But, like, no, it doesn't work. It's just Chris sounding vaguely like a Italian-American from New York. It's no different from your friend doing an Italian accent, except that maybe it's so subtle that he might as well not bother. And, I'm sorry, but this is fucking Mario Bros., subtlety should've been thrown out the window! Nintendo Voice Coaches my ass!

Plus, he was totally reading from a script during the direct.

Meanwhile, Luigi mostly screamed, so no comment on how he sounded.

In spite of the Bros. and their potentially poor voice work, I have high hopes for this movie. I am actually excited to see it. I hope this leads to a series of movies based on Nintendo's IP. A Metroid Space Opera, a swashbuckling adventure with Zelda, maybe a Rated R F-Zero flick (okay, that last one is wishful thinking, lol).

#JAC Chat #The Mario Movie #Youtube

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pizzacentral · 3 months

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2023 ANNUAL FAVORITES

Hello! Welcome back to my annual year-end list of favorite things. I think it was actually a really strong year for new movies, music, and games, so I'm going to get to the point fairly quickly here. It was a year where I was lucky to have a good amount of time to take in new media, and I am thankful for that. Here's what I enjoyed most!

As always, any media that was widely released in the calendar year 2023 (that I personally consumed within the calendar year 2023) was eligible. This was ranked on January 1st, 2024, and remains unchanged since then (no matter what I end up thinking about it in the future.)

Favorite Films

I watched 105 movies that were widely released in 2023 this year, up from 96 in 2022. 67 of those were in a movie theater, up from 40 last year. Actually, streaming movies slipped through the cracks more this year, as I prioritized watching films in one sitting instead of in chunks during my commute to work.

It was pretty difficult to make a top twenty-five list this year, least of all to cull it down to ten, so it is with apologies to everything else that I present my favorites. By the way, if you'd like to hear me talk about these movies, give Cinema Bums a listen.

10. Renaissance: A Film By Beyoncé

9. The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar

8. Eileen

7. How To Blow Up a Pipeline

6. Oppenheimer

5. BlackBerry

4. American Fiction

3. Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

2. The Killer

1. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3

Favorite Records

I feel like I listened to less records this year than I'd have liked to, but when I look at this list, I know pretty much all the words to every song on every album (and had to cut probably five others that I felt the same way about). So that's not bad!

10. KAYTRAMINÉ - Aminé and Kaytranada

9. In the End It Always Does - The Japanese House

8. the record - boygenius

7. So Much (For) Stardust - Fall Out Boy

6. The People's Champ - Quinn XCII

5. GUTS - Olivia Rodrigo

4. And the Charm - Avalon Emerson

3. Desire, I Want To Turn into You - Caroline Polachek

2. The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess - Chappell Roan

1. Something To Give Each Other - Troye Sivan

Favorite Songs

As always, any song on one of my Favorite Records was not eligible to be included on my Favorite Songs list. I've probably listened to singles and playlists more than records recently, and the shortlist for this category was over a hundred songs long. That list may have contained some more adventurous cuts, but these were the ones that meant the most to me.

10. "Psychedelic Switch" - Carly Rae Jepsen

9. "Ant Pile" - Dominic Fike

8. "Coping On Unemployment" - Del Water Gap

7. "ALÉRGICA" - Paty B

6. "Even When I'm Not With You" - Pierce the Veil

5. "All Dogs Go To Hell" - Chase Rice

4. "A&W" - Lana Del Rey

3. "Outskirts" - Sam Hunt

2. "Dance the Night" - Dua Lipa

1. "Co-Star" - Amaarae

Favorite TV Shows

Probably not as great of a year for the handful of TV shows I watch as 2022 was, but I think the top three here are really good!

5. Loki (Season 2)

4. Ahsoka (Season 1)

3. Poker Face (Season 1)

2. The Last of Us (Season 1)

1. I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson (Season 3)

Favorite Video Games

These are all for the Nintendo Switch. In 2024, I hope to finally play Persona 5 Royal on Switch, then finally get a Steam Deck and play Marvel's Spider-Man, and then get a Switch 2 when it comes out. Maybe those plans are kind of in conflict with my plans to spend more time writing.

5. Vampire Survivors

4. Suika Game

3. The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom

2. Metroid Prime Remastered

1. Super Mario Bros. Wonder

Favorite Theater

I thought this would be fun to add as its own category this year, since I live in New York City and have somewhat okay luck at winning the lottery for shows!

5. Shucked (Broadway)

4. Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (Broadway)

3. Camelot (Broadway)

2. The Sign in Sidney Brustein's Window (Off-Broadway)

1. Danny and the Deep Blue Sea (Off-Broadway)

Assorted Favorites

Stop Making Sense (Remastered Theatrical Run and Remastered Album)

Joe Pera: Slow and Steady (Comedy Special)

Blank Check's 8th Anniversary Live Show

"Ana Fabrega: One Hour" (Live Show)

To a T Reveal Trailer

Movie Trailers: Somebody I Used To Know, Past Lives, Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem, Maestro

That's all for this one. Happy New Year!

#feature #favorites #film #films #music #records #songs #tv #video games #theatre #broadway #2023

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eldricktobin · 2 years

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So, there are a few things I can write without trying. Usually it’s just me. Yes I self insert you weren’t aware. But even then it’s Mostly me.

I’m not there afterall. Hence differences between me and The Arc me.

I can write for Tom Randall in Multiple Maiden Mayhem/Maiden Voyage because first he’s a captain, and I can’t imagine myself as a captain. So after he started forming keeping at him was easy. Better him than me. Then back propagation filled in for Multiple Maiden Mayhem itself so Maiden Voyage had something to hang itself on.

I can write for my characters but that’s because They Are Many and FOR ME AT LEAST they are 3D constructs I can emulate. Almost like they are real people OUTSIDE MY HEAD ENTIRELY that I just happen to be able to know how they think.

I can’t make a character to star in something. But a character can be promoted to The Hot Seat.

Yes it’s weird. Like a new campaign I might have to start with a Ranger/Cleric just for the J.A.F.O. Then when I know the setting the real character comes out. Or a backstory character for that character, gets promoted.

Now… a character Who Is Just Filler, could go to a Hot Seat.

In making differences between our world and the Multiple Maiden Mayhem Earth, I have stuff that’s just out there. Just not how we do stuff here on our Earth. Too much corruption even in the oversight, and the oversight’s oversight.

Or more easy to understand, they have their own Peter Parker. And in a The More Things Change, way… their Spiderverse movie would have 616 Parker as one of the crossovers.

The native Parker for Earth 55555, is more a jumping spider, less a webspinner. He free climbs, and does parkour. These were his coping options after his Uncle Ben died.

https://twitter.com/cptncorebreach/status/1546137728747974656

So… why a new post?

Might have to pen some of this Alter Parker. Kinda like the Writing Trial where I wrote/am writing a Metroid Piece. How can I just dive into either? Well these are Flavors of other characters, with a strong reason for their differences.

My Parker wasn’t bitten in college/high school, so already That’s Different leading to a character I could write for.

My Samus? New world with a suit messing with her emotional stares leading to That’s Different and someone I can write for…

How I still don’t know. See above. Me, or my characters promoted to the Hot Seat. That these two have leapt into the Hot Seat entirely of their own accord is a mystery. Almost every attempt at just doing something like this sucked. So I stick to Established Characters of mine, or Variations of me.

But my brain is “you like your writing trial enough to eventually finish it so… how about Some Wallcrawling? Maybe read it to one of your Adventurers as they eight legged dance around your hat brim.” And… yes this was just supposed to be One Twitter Thread, about an Out Work character.

I’ll keep y’all posted if I can’t contain the text.

#eldrick tobin #it makes sense in my head theater #come for the bad writing stay for the bad writing #Multiple Maiden Mayhem #alternate universe #alternative earth history #spiderverse

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laurenhufflepuff2 · 3 years

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A list of fandoms I'm in (in no particular order, will probably be updated regularly. Some fandoms are more intense and some are more casual. Depending on the fandom, I could go on and on about fandom topics for HOURS. Let's get into it!)

Harry Potter, Disney, Marvel, DC comics, Miraculous Ladybug, Avatar: The Last Airbender/The Legend of Korra, Star Wars, Literature, Winx Club, Nintendo, Minecraft, Little Witch Academia, Voltron, Coraline

Details:

Harry Potter- I got into Harry Potter in 7th grade and now I am the resident expert in my family and in my friend group. I read all the books, watched all the movies (notably the British version), and I've seen the Fantastic Beasts films as well. I've also read Tales of Beedle the Bard (the Warlock's Hairy Heart was traumatizing) along with the Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them textbook (plus an updated edition). I also read The Cursed Child script and while I mean no hate to anyone that liked it, I hated what it did to the canon. I am in Hufflepuff with some Ravenclaw tendencies (I took the Pottermore quiz 3 times, 2 out of 3 I got Hufflepuff, the other time was Ravenclaw). I had a pottermore account and I was so upset when it got converted to the Wizarding World page. I cosplayed Hermione in 7th grade complete with British accent and even monologued as her for a talent show (classmates and teachers would recognize me as the Hermione girl all the way through high school). I was obsessed and I still love it even if J.K. Rowling has gone off the deep end on Twitter... yeah... my favorite character is Hermione but I also relate to Luna

Disney- there's so much that goes into the Disney part of my fandom list. I'm excluding Marvel and Star Wars from this part as they were originally separate entities before Disney got the rights to them. I have seen almost every animated Disney film ever and often use random movie quotes in conversation. My favorite villain is Maleficent, my favorite princess is Ariel (followed by Belle, Rapunzel, and Anna). I relate to so many of the characters. I'm not sure who my favorite Pixar character is though (I love Violet, Sadness, Dory, and Piper (from the short)). My favorite Disney fairy is Fawn. My favorite characters overall are Ariel and Stitch. Disney is definitely on the list as one of my biggest obsessions. My favorite movies are Lilo and Stitch, the Little Mermaid, Inside Out, Alice in Wonderland (original), and The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh.

Marvel- I mostly get my Marvel exposure through the MCU, other movies, and animated TV shows. I have difficulty reading graphic novels so most of my comic book knowledge comes from friends, posts, or wikis. My favorite characters are Spider-Man, Captain America, Peggy Carter, and Scarlet Witch. I also like Gwenpool, Deadpool, Spider-Gwen/ Ghost-Spider, Venom, Squirrel Girl, Daredevil, Mantis, Gamora, Black Widow, Iron Man, Thor, Loki, Bucky, Black Panther, and most MCU characters. Out of the X-men I really like Professor X, Wolverine, Mystique, Magneto, Nightcrawler, and Quicksilver (either version- MCU or Fox).

DC- this was the franchise I was more familiar with growing up but again, graphic novels aren't easy for me to read so most of my knowledge comes from information pages about the comics or from tv/movies. My earliest experience with DC came from the 60s Batman series, with Catwoman and Robin being my favorites. I also watched the Wonder Woman series from the 70s and a handful of CW shows, my favorite of which being the Flash and Arrow. I also managed to watch all 5 seasons of the Teen Titans Cartoon Network series from 2003. With that being said, my favorite characters are Wonder Woman, Catwoman, Flash, Batman, Nightwing/Robin (Dick Grayson), Green Arrow, Starfire, Raven, Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy, and Alfred. I also like most of the bat family, and when it comes to CW I LOVE Caitlin Snow/Killer Frost and Cisco.

Miraculous- this is one of my guilty fandoms but since this is Tumblr I'm not too worried about it. I love Marinette and I relate to her on an astoundingly deep level (minus the stalking and obsession with potential lovers, that's creepy). If I had a miraculous, I'd probably want the Ladybug one, but the Cat miraculous, fox miraculous, and snake miraculous are good too. My favorite character is Marinette/Ladybug.

Atla/Tlok- I jumped on the avatar bandwagon just when it was starting to get popular, so I managed to get through the series before the memes took over everything. Same with Tlok, although i couldn't completely avoid the spoilers for that when i started it. I've been wanting to get into the comics because of the short story comics I've read, they seem easier to read than superhero comics. My favorite characters are Aang, Katara, Ty Lee, Iroh, Korra, Jinora, Asami, Suki, Appa, Momo, Naga, and Pabu. I also like Sokka, Mai, Zuko, Lin, Kuvira, Varrick, Zhu Lee, and Azula. I feel really sorry for her and while I understand that a redemption arc would undermine the importance of her corruption arc, I still wish she could have one. I would love to be a waterbender or an airbender... maybe a waterbender raised in the air nation? Obviously, being the avatar itself would be awesome. The show has taught me a lot of great lessons and put a lot of stuff into perspective for me.

Star Wars- oh boy, talking about this one is dangerous. I've seen firsthand the horrors of the Star Wars fandom but then again no one will probably see this anyway so... I've seen all the movies and I remember watching the clone wars series with my brother when I was younger but we fell wayyy behind and it's taking us forever to get back into it. I've also seen the Mandalorian and quite enjoyed it. I like the prequels unironically, in fact, the prequels are some of my favorite movies. I especially like how they switched from lightsabers being heavy weapons to light weapons that can be used for all kinds of tricks that make for epic battles like the ones we see in Revenge of the Sith. The sequels were fun to watch but when I would analyze them along side their predecessors, I came to the conclusion that, for me, they were good to watch but did not do anything good for the rest of the franchise. My favorite characters are prequels/clone wars Obi Wan and Anakin, Padme, Ashoka, Leia, R2D2, BB-8, R4-P17, the Mandalorian (Din Djarin), and Grogu. If I had a lightsaber I'd want it to be blue, but when I was little I got a purple one like Mace Windu because it was closer to pink and I was into pink at the time. I still have that lightsaber and none of my friends have a purple one so it's one of my flexes. I feel like I wouldn't make a good jedi because of attachments being forbidden, so I'd probably become a grey jedi.

Literature- this is a broad term I use to cover all the random books and stories I liked reading and have studied. So we have Shakespeare (Macbeth, Much Ado About Nothing, Romeo and Juliet), The Great Gatsby (bored while reading, loved to analyze), Grendel (HATED reading, loved to analyze, Grendel really needed a hug and a friend), The Crucible, Fahrenheit 451, Dark Life (+ the sequel Riptide, both are by Kat Falls good reads, sci-fi and kind of dystopian), The Once and Future King

Winx Club- I think the show is trashy but I still love watching it. I haven't been able to get through season 6 though and I hated what they did with season 8 and Fate: the Winx Saga. My favorite character is Bloom along with Stella and Flora. I prefer rai to nick. My favorite transformations are magic winx, enchantix, and harmonix. My favorite member of the Trix is Icy followed by Darcy. My favorite Pixies are Chatta and Lockette.

Nintendo- mainly Pokémon above all else, followed by Animal Crossing. I have also played (mostly as player 2 or just never beat or watched my brother play) mario games, legend of zelda, pikmin, and kirby. Games I haven't played but I just liked the characters/the lore and probably learned about through Super Smash Bros. are Fire Emblem (Lucina mostly), Metroid (Samus and baby metroid), and Kid Icarus. Pokémon is where I'm most knowledgeable but you'll most likely beat me in battle. I am however great at MarioKart and I always destroy my friends at it. Terrible at fighting games though.

Minecraft- I like playing this casually. Sure, I'll play for hours and hours on end for months, but I prefer to stay exclusively in peaceful when playing Survival mode and I don't make anything too ambitious in Creative mode. I like to write, so sometimes I'll make a rough layout of the settings of my stories in different worlds. I prefer interior design and decorating when building, and when in survival mode I focus more on mining and gathering while my brother works on ambitious building projects. I just bring him the raw materials and furnish the interior when he finishes the outside.

Little Witch Academia- this takes up a smaller portion of my fandom list because there were only 2 seasons and a couple movies and I watched the whole series years ago, but I still enjoy it. At one point I wanted to cosplay Akko, and I loved the nod at Twilight through the Nightfall series. And I especially liked the twist that Shiny Chariot was Ursula, which I suspected for some time. The blend between magic and technology was fun to see, but I was so sad that the series ended RIGHT when Akko finally showed signs of magic proficiency. Also, Shiny Chariot being the reason Akko couldn't do magic was heartbreaking.

Voltron- this takes up a much smaller portion of my fandom list mainly because I haven't even finished it. I know hardly anything about Transformers aside from the Bumblebee movie so to me I just watch it for fun. It reminds me of power rangers, star wars, and star trek, and then there's just a transformer insert. But I don't know anything about Transformers so maybe the show is more rooted in canon than I think.

Coraline- I am in a love-hate relationship with Coraline. I have watched the movie several times, I've read the book, I've watched hours of theories and analyses on youtube, I've watched behind the scenes videos by Laika, and I even wrote a script for a fan film parody. I am amazed at how original the story is and how impressive the stop motion animation is but I also have recurring nightmares from it and it scares me/creeps me out to the max. If anyone asks what my scariness limit is, it's definitely Coraline.

#fandoms #about me #harry potter #disney #dc #marvel #avatar the last airbender #the legend of korra #star wars #miraculous ladybug #literature #winx club #nintendo #minecraft #pokémon #little witch academia #voltron #coraline

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blazehedgehog · 4 years

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Now that it's all been posted, any thoughts on the Metroid fan movie concept that was uploaded to SomeCallMeJohnny's channel?

I haven’t watched part 3 yet.

There’s a reason I haven’t watched part 3 yet, and I don’t want to sound overly rude or harsh. I do think a lot of talent went in to writing and recording, and the artwork is pretty nice.

But I’ve also talked about before about things like... so, aliens, right. I personally like the idea that Ridley is this 20 foot tall space monster. He doesn’t wear clothes, we never see him sit in a chair, he can’t fit through our doors. He screeches and roars and growls like an animal. But underneath all of that is an very intelligent being, one who can operate interstellar craft. When he roars, he’s speaking a language. He’s giving commands to subordinates. But he’s nothing like a human. He’s an alien, and I like my aliens to feel truly otherworldly.

Ridley in this fan movie concept speaks human english.

So, already, I feel like it was at a big disadvantage with me personally. The actor playing Ridley does a good job, but the moment I heard Ridley saying earth words I was hit by a wash of disappointment. And it continues to swim up stream because the whole movie is effectively trying to adapt the official Metroid Manga and even parts of Other M. It does put its own spin on things to try and make it more palatable, mind you, and parts of it I do genuinely enjoy.

Like, I appreciate it spells out in no certain terms that Samus hasn’t just lost one family, she’s lost two, and is in danger of possibly losing a third surrogate family, and that’s kind of messing her up emotionally. It’s about her origin story, and why she's such a loner. I also like how they establish Mother Brain.

But where the movie loses me is in how much it jumps around in time, especially in Act 2. I don’t necessarily know if it’s confusing per-say, but does feel really disjointed. Samus is a kid, then it’s seven years later, then it’s two years earlier, then it’s back to seven years later, then it’s one year earlier, etc. Back and forth, back and forth, all these little vignettes told semi-out of order. It’s messy and a lot of it doesn’t feel like Metroid, because it’s all about Samus as a kid, or in the military, or whatever, and not enough of her in the power suit doing Metroid stuff.

I feel like this is an easy trap to fall in to. You see this lore and you think, “I have to fit all of it in.” But lately I’ve been thinking a lot about, like... book adaptations, and things, right.

So let’s take Jurassic Park for example, because that’s one of the few things where I’ve both read the book and seen the movie. If you did a 1:1 adaptation of the novel, Jurassic Park would probably be a 5-10 hour movie. So you have to cut a lot of stuff out -- most stuff, I’d argue. And true enough, at two hours, the movie is a very different experience compared to the book. So how does that work?

If I was doing it, I would identify the core theme of the story, and then pick out two or three iconic scenes. Then, write a completely new story around that theme, sticking to a simplified version of the story’s general idea, while touching on those iconic scenes.

Let’s consider instead “Into the Spider-verse”. This is based on the comic book series of the same name, but those comics span over a dozen issues of multiple different Spider-man books. So they focused on the themes (dimensions are crossing and everyone is Spider-man) and wrote a new story around that.

So what are the themes of Metroid, then? Isolation, loneliness, and feeling powerless at first but gaining knowledge and strength over time.

So we open on Samus touching down on an unknown alien world. She’s already a bounty hunter, and she’s on this planet because she’s tracking a threat. This planet once housed a civilization, but now it’s nothing more than abandoned, destroyed ruins, and in the absence of that civilization, it’s being reclaimed by the bizarre alien life at home on this world.

The whole movie is about the mystery of why Samus is here. She has a connection to this place, and the threat she’s tracking.

We see her memories. I know I just railed against the fan concept for having lots of flashbacks, but to me, it was more about their frequency and length. The first third of that movie is effectively a long flashback, and even once it jumps to present day, it keeps jumping back to various other points in Samus’s life every few minutes. That’s what made it feel like a mess. It never gives you a chance to settle in to a “present day.”

Flashbacks can be an important storytelling tool, but I think establishing what’s current and then showing a few key memories is what works best. The movie is a mystery, and we’re peeling away layers over time. We’re with Samus, seeing what she sees as she looks over the planet. We see a man and a woman killed by something unseen as armored aliens approach her. Later, we see the Chozo and their warmth towards Samus. This is their planet, where they raised Samus, and taught her about their research in to the Metroids.

As she becomes enveloped in her memories of this place, we see what she’s tracking. It’s a giant space dragon. As far as the audience ever sees, it’s just a big scary monster. Samus is chasing an animal, like hunting a bear or a tiger. But every now and then, we get a hint of something more.

Samus also spends her time in the movie just dealing with alien life on this planet. Some of it is friendly, but others are very hostile. The space dragon is always the primary threat, but there are other creatures here that give Samus trouble. Maybe she befriends something, treats it like a pet, and through that we see maybe some aliens have intelligence and others do not. It also gives her someone to talk to. But again: the alien does not speak her language.

The last flashback, in the film’s final act, is the Chozo entrusting the power suit (the armor she saw as a child) to Samus as they are slain by the same space dragon she’s been hunting for the whole movie. It’s Ridley. It’s here we learn that Ridley is more than just a monster -- he’s intelligent. He commands space pirates to raze the planet and take the Chozo’s captive Metroid. This is a big reveal for the audience. Samus is sent away in the same ship we see land at the start of the movie, her ship. As the Chozo die, we see almost a flashback within a flashback, as we finally learn that the man and woman in the first flashback were her parents, and they were also slain by Ridley and his forces. It all ties together.

This anger fuels Samus in her final encounter with Ridley. He’s back on this planet because he missed something about the Chozo’s Metroid research. Despite only stealing one Metroid, Ridley somehow has multiple now, and he sics them on Samus. Wounded from their fight, a bleeding Samus corners Ridley as he tries to escape in his ship and uses a weapon she discovered earlier in the movie (a super missile pack) to damage his ship, destroy his Metroids, and seemingly kill him. She limps back to her ship and has automated medical systems attend to her wounds as she leaves.

The final stinger is Ridley still being alive, and his shadow falling upon the Chozo central computer, codenamed “Mother Brain.”

That’s what I’d do.

#questions #metroid #movie #fan movie concept #nintendo #ideas #writing #long posts #melcodriggs

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planet-bryyo · 5 years

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Just personal opinion here- tbh, I may be in the minority, but I honestly don’t think I’d be keen on seeing Metroid turned into a movie or series. Technically I guess the action-packed space plotlines of Metroid would make a visually nice movie. But its a franchise I love and I’d be worried that it would be made into something mediocre, especially if it would have any impact on the presentation of the games afterwards (presumably not but I dunno).

I wouldn’t be totally against it. I mean, I’m up for expanding the universe- I love fancomics and fanfic, I love writing that myself, I don’t want every bit of Metroid-related media to just be the core games. I guess I’d just be a bit let down if it turned out as mediocre as a lot of movies tend to be, especially sci-fi and game adaptations (okay Detective Pikachu doesn’t count here because I actually liked that one, but it worked well with the concept and universe they went for).

Plus- again, maybe a personal thing- I’m not sure I trust them not to sexualise the hell out of Samus. Something like a movie might solidify that image of her as a latex-bound, slim Black-Widow type outside the suit, if Smash Bros and the franchise itself hadn’t already done that. I mean, there’s been some good non-sexualised female protags in movies. I guess what worries me is that Samus is partially pre-defined as a sex symbol (to my eternal frustration) because of Zero Suit and Smash Bros. The power suit could be awesome to see in action though, as long as the special effects were decent.

I’d be afraid of how they handle her personality too. Whether they’d get the balance of hard warrior to caring person right, whether they pull an Other M and up the motherhood theme for ridiculous nonsense reasons instead of showing her as a generally all-around compassionate and protective person on the back of her past and Chozo upbringing. Whether they’d try to make her a “KICKASS FEMALE PROTAGONIST” you know, one of those ones who can maybe do some cool flippy action but has zero authentic personality and development and is mostly just kinda mean for no reason. Also, if there’s one of those dumb forced romances even hinted at it’d be a turn off for me.

I guess it’s just ‘cause Metroid means a lot to me and I’d be fussy, but by no means to I expect the majority of people to agree. Curious to see if anyone else has the same opinions though.

#Metroid

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i-do-unimportant-things · 4 years

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*clap clap* Movie review

So yeah, Charlie’s Angels, the 2019 reboot of the TV show. A feminist movie but really just a clichè action movie with a mediocre plotline, relying on it’s ‘woke points’ to be watchable.

First, let’s talk about the movie itself and why it did so badly.

The 2019 Charlie’s angels is an action comedy movie about three female super spies trying to retrieve a weapon of mass destruction from the wrong hands directed by Elizabeth banks, the guardian calls this a ‘weaponised feminist frenzy’. This movie hit the theatres at the start of the year and went on to fail so badly, the financial loss can only be explained by claiming there’s a wage gap. Charlie’s angels is originally a TV show from the mid 70s, but nowadays, no one would consider the show ‘feminist’. The entire plot of the TV show existed around the three main female characters being hot, and near naked. Nevertheless this sleazy show was successful and had a few movies coming out in the years 2000 and 2003. And on November 15 2019, the latest Charlie’s angels came out from Sony studios. Sony, the same company that has brought you: Ghostbusters 2016 and the Emoji movie. Now don’t get me wrong lots of movie companies use nostalgia to try and sell tickets, but no one does it quite as poorly as Sony. The movie tries too hard to be some sort of woke feminist statement, but it ends up just being really forced. One of the main actresses, Kristen Stewart has commented that this movie is ‘taking down the patriarchy’ Ah yes, this feminist reboot of a non-feminist show, is taking on the patriarchy head on! C’mon, no one will believe that this mediocre action film is making is making any kind of significant social impact. It would have made a much bigger impact if the movie was not only made by women, but also, enjoyable to watch. The movie was, unsurprisingly, a massive flop shattering Elizabeth Banks dream of turning it into a franchise. It had a budget of $50 million and ended up making $8 million in it’s opening weekend. No one cared to see it, and for those who did, they hated it. Like, seriously despised it, 4/10 on IMDB? Even shark tale is rated better than that. But Elizabeth Banks wasn’t ready to admit that maybe, just maybe, her movie wasn’t that good. No, instead she was bracing herself for a box-office flop, by blaming men. Prior to the movie’s disastrous opening weekend, she had said that if the movie didn’t do well, it would reinforce a stereotype in Hollywood that men don’t go to see women do action movies. Here’s a little thinker for ya, if people don’t go and see your movie, it may not be because all men are sexist pigs, but people would rather watch a good movie. Regardless of whether or not there’s a female character in it. Not to mention other medias with female leads have gone on to be extremely successful. Alien? Kill Bill? Tomb Raider? Both Frozen’s? Metroid series? Mulan? Wonder women? Bank’s counters this by saying that the female comic superhero movies are only successful because they are tied into a larger, male genre of movies. Wait so, the successful movies starring women are successful because men are sexist, but your movie isn’t successful because men are sexist? What are you babbling about? Look, I understand it sucks to see a movie you directed, produced and acted in fail, but this weak finger pointing is not going to help.

Now let’s analyse the movie and see why people hated it so much.

Above all, Charlie’s angels is a comedy spy action movie that doesn’t work as a comedy, spy or an action movie. The plot is basically this high-stakes mission about retrieving weapons of mass destruction. But the problem is that the movie never bothers to actually visually establish as dangerous or as anything really. All we see is one of those devices killing one guy right beside it and then being automatically self-destructed. Then there’s the “action”. It’s mostly just noise without any meaningful character moments or choices or obstacles or any real sense of danger. Most of the time the action sequences don’t even serve any purpose plot-wise. On top of it the physics of it are so illogical they just make no sense. Like just watch the car falling out scene. But all that aside what I wanna focus on is the aspect of Charlie’s angels that is probably the main cause of it’s downfall more that anything else; it’s relentless obsession with gender. There’s a difference between a good female-led movie and a movie so blindly obsessed with the feminist agenda that it gets to the point of being destructive to itself. A lot of times with a certain agenda of gender or social class or whatever they tend to feature a core theme that empowers the group or demographic that it’s about. And with Charlie’s angels the care theme is obviously female empowerment which is made very clear from even the first line in the movie “I think women can do anything”. Basically the core theme of Charlie’s angels is that women, by nature, can do anything. In itself, it’s a great message for younger female audiences. The problem is that the movie quickly grows so obsessed with this theme that instead of it being positively empowering, it actually becomes negatively degrading. Because when Charlie’s angels claims that women by nature can do anything, it doesn’t mean that women can do a certain specific set of things they set their minds to, it means that women, by nature, can do literally everything. And before you say that I’m saying it’s a problem because I hate women, hold on. There’s actually a major character issue that comes with this obsession; it makes every female character and main hero shallow and superficial and takes away their individual uniqueness that’s supposed to make them who they are. To show what I mean let’s look at our three main angels; one of them is this tall angel who initially is established as the physical brawler of the team, she’s powerful and likes to solve obstacles by running straight at it and punching them until their no longer obstacles. And that’s great that’s something that gives her character individuality and can delve much deeper into the movie. Thats who she is but then, she makes this smart science trap using chemicals, then all of a sudden this physical brawler turns out also to be a super-smart chemist, and to be clear; she doesn’t become that, she doesn’t learn to be that she already is that because again, women by nature, can do and be anything. So what exactly is the issue with this? Well at first she is this one specific thing, but then turns out to be an entirely other thing and suddenly, we don’t really know who she is anymore. To build on this example look at the Kristen Stewart’s angel, the way the movie tries to establish her is that she’s this confident improvisor of the team who uses her wits to gain an advantage over others. But the movie also presents her as just as competent of a physical brawler aa the tall angel, which not only makes her witty hustler personality kind of pointless, it also destroys her individuality it’s hard to know who Kristen Stewart is as a person when she can do and be the exact same as the person right next to her, and if we don’t know who she is it’s hard to get into or develop her as a character when we’re not even sure what it is we’re getting into or developing. The only character difference seems to be that Kristen Stewart says what ever haha ‘funny’ she has on her mind. Then we have princess Jasmin’s angel who is this super smart technology nerd thrust into this world she doesn’t belong in. And she could be a pretty Interesting character, if not for the fact that the movie has already presented the tall angel as super-smart as well, and the fact that Jasmin seems to be able to handle herself in a fight too. So, what makes her different? Who is she compared to the others? Who is she as an individual person? And pretty much with every female character the movie is so unhealthy obsessed with this agenda of female empowerment that it just ends up being a weakness. The characters don’t struggle, they don’t have any flaws or depth they don’t have anything that would make them individual people that the audience can care about and watch grow because in a world where everyone is special, no one is. When women by nature can do or be everything, the one thing they can’t do is be unique.

In addition to empowering the group their about, the other thing these movies with social agendas often do is villainise the demographic opposite them and show how they need to struggle to overcome obstacles set by this opposite demographic. And since Charlie’s angels is about women, obviously here the point is to showcase men and the evil they’re capable of. Which again, is made very clear, even from the very beginning. Basically, all male characters in Charlie’s angels are in some way douchebags who treat women in a derogatory sense. There’s a total of three good guy men in this movie. One of them dies, another one is cleansed of his whatever sins by a women beauty, and the last is like the perfect man from a dystopian world where women have enslaved men. So the message is that men can be a bit of an annoying obstacle to women. I personally don’t like this message, but it has potential to explore some really deep themes with it. But the problem again, is that this movie is so blindly obsessed with it’s agenda of having men be evil that it inadvertently destroys the very message it’s trying to explore. Firstly, just like the female side, all the males are diluted down to unrealistic caricatures nobody can take seriously. The security guard for example, his character is supposed to portray men abusing power against women, and it could have been a very powerful message, but the reason that moment doesn’t work whatsoever is because we’ve never even seen the security guard before, and so we have no perception of why he would do this. He’s not being evil because he’s jealous of Jasmin’s career, he’s not being evil because he’s hurt inside or anything, the movie is saying he’s being evil just because he’s a man. All men in this movie are being evil just because their men and that’s all there is to it.The movie doesn’t give us any reasons or explanations, no explored internal fears or flaws or motive or anything under the surface and that’s not how real life people function, that’s not how to get anything done with your message other than it being scoffed off as shallow and dumb. Secondly, this men are evil obsession creates a big narrative problem. In the sense that the plot of the movie quickly becomes very one-dimensional and easy to predict. For example, near the midpoint of the movie there’s a twist that Elizabeth Banks, who is the leader of the angels, might be evil, she might have some evil plan that involves tracking Patrick Stewart’s good guy character. But then you remember that this movie has just spent it’s entire runtime proposing that all men are evil just because their men which would then mean that OH WOW WHAT A SURPRISE THE MAN IN A FEMINIST MOVIE IS EVIL. The problem is that it’s really not that much of a surprise to anyone because from the start the film has done everything in it’s power to condition the audience to believe that women are all good and that men are all evil. Having a message criticising men or a whole demographic can be great and powerful. But you can’t let yourself be so blindly obsessed with it that you don’t even bother delving deeper into it.You can’t have women be good just because women are good and men be bad just because men are bad. That’s not realistic, that’s not how the world works, that’s not a message that will get anyone to listen and above all, it’s not good writing.

Another danger that can very easily come true in movies with social agendas is that the message they’re pushing becomes very one-sided. To the point of alienating a certain section of the audience. And with Charlie’s angels, wether the filmmakers intended it or not, the fact is that the movie altogether as a whole is very anti-male. I’ve already commented about all male characters being portrayed as shallow evildoers, but there’s also an underlying theme that men as people are objectively sinful creatures who deserve bad things to happen to them. It docent matter who they are or what they have or haven’t done, if something bad happens to them, it’s okay because they deserve it. For example, there’s a long-running ‘joke’ where the angels continuously injure a bunch of guys and then make quips about wether or not they’re gonna wake up. But there’s nothing inherently wrong with this, when your making a movie, you are allowed to portray any group of people or entities in whatever positive or negative way you want. So if you want to make a blatantly obvious movie where a specific gender as a whole is portrayed as the worst possible thing in the universe, that’s fine. But you also need to understand is that there’s also gonna be financial consequences from that specific audience. See, before Charlie’s angels hit theatres, it was clear it was gonna be a flop. And knowing this, director Elizabeth Banks had said what I had put above: “if the movie didn’t do well, it would reinforce a stereotype in Hollywood that men don’t go to see women do action movies” and wether or not the statement has truth(which it doesn’t) is irrelevant. The importance of the statement is the implications that Elizabeth Banks doesn’t understand the concept of biting the hand that feeds. Now I don’t really like the anti-male stuff in Charlie’s angels, but as I’ve said, you’re allowed to do whatever you want in your show. So I understand why male audiences didn’t go out of their way to pay money to see their own gender be continuously criticised and called evil. For example if you make a whole movie ridiculing females and calling them the scum of the earth in a very on-the-nose way, you can’t just expect females to swarm in and support it. Thats not how it works. Whatever message your movie has, you have to be smart about how you deliver it. Don’t just say ‘Women good, men bad’ find a way to imply what it is you wanna say through metaphors. As a filmmaker, you would want everyone to enjoy the film, regardless of gender or race or whatever. I’m not criticising Charlie’s angels because I hate female-led movies. I’m being critical of Charlie’s angels because superficial agenda movies like Charlie’s angels are the reason why we still have so relatively few female led movies. And I’d like to think that by now we’re past one-dimensional messages like this.

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tandytoaster · 5 years

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I’m gonna be a fuckin bitch for this post and i’m not really sorry i don’t think.

So i’m in college. For social work. To help people. You know. Getting my life together. And in the beginning I made a friend who likes nintendo games and i was like OH BOY, MAYBE THEY LIKE METROID. they did not and i have continuously made the mistake of associating with this kid. Like almost every day he does something that makes my skin crawl with the feeling of “oh my god i canNOT relate to this kid at all”.

At first my issue with him was that he reminded me exactly of Tristan except not evil. My second issue was just that he gave me wicked secondhand embarrassment. My third issue is that I have not the slightest idea why he’s still in this course, he has proved time and time again that he has learned nothing.

The first red flag that went up for me was personal because he reminded me of Tristan. The second one went up when he said that he felt gay people were shoving their gayness down people’s throats and that he was sick of the rainbow flag. When he first said that I was like, are you fucking kidding me? I told him about the ratio how many straight movies there are compared to gay ones, I told him about how the rainbow flag is a symbol of safety and acceptance, WE HAVE ONE IN OUR GODDAMN CLASSROOM. He told me that in highschool almost every classroom had a gay flag in it and almost everyday there was a class discussion about it. I asked him if it was the students or teachers who brought it up and he said “mehhhh it was the students” SO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT TELLS ME? THAT THOSE WERE GAY OR TRANS STUDENTS NEEDING ACCEPTANCE. AND YOU’RE HERE IN FRONT OF ME, IN FRONT OF THIS RAINBOW FLAG, COMPLAINING ABOUT THEM. He wanted to “agree to disagree” about it but I was like “no man your views are potentially harmful”. People overheard us arguing and they sided with me, the student council president i think it was spoke to us and said (in response too “theres too much gay stuff”) “I’m actually trying to get them to paint the crosswalks here rainbow”, so like, take that.

And we talk about this stuff in class fairly often. We’ve spoken about the importance of symbols, identity, flags, safe spaces, we get DEEP into it. But you know what this kid does all class? He looks at memes or plays fire emblem heroes on his phone, sometimes he plays his whole ass switch in class. OR! or or or, he gets up and leaves in the middle of a lesson that holds CRITICAL information that would help him become less ignorant and prejudiced. Just the other week we were talking about how straight people will never know the struggle, the oppression, that nonstraight people face, and of course this kid was just playing on his phone, and ohohoho the instructor called him on it and got mad and it was honestly? So satisfying.

So I had to be the one to explain to him what oppression is and how fuckign serious it is. People fucking die man. This was around the time the whole “gays own splatoon” thing happened and the dude was SO upset about it. I was like “.... you realize those are all jokes right? Nobody means anything by it”. He sort of got it but one thing he said is like, big fuckin yikes. He said he seen a meme on the drawing feature or whatever that said “straight people suck at splatoon” or something and he said he was actually offended by that and if it wasn’t for the fact that his best friend is a lesbian, these jokes that he’s seeing would probably turn him into a little bit of a homophobe. And because I had to be civil and he did want my help I was like “you have to work on that, you NEED to do something about that”. Because you can’t be like that in general and you ABSOLUTELY CANNOT be like that going into the field we’re going into.

I wish he paid attention in class so then he wouldn’t come to me to ask “hey how do i not be homophobic” and get me all mad but then i cant get mad because that doesnt help either of us. at least its good practice for the future and any weirdos i get in my career.

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh “at least”. That’s one of his favourite things to say :))))))))) at least at least at least AT LEEAST. We’ve been through a semester and a half of counselling skills and you still have not learned how to properly console people. “At least” belongs in a pity pile, “At least” is you saying “youre problems arent THAT bad :)” you think it sounds nice but really youre just belittling the person and their issues. oh my fuck he SMOTHERS people if they’re having problems. Last week I guess I was “off” or some shit idk! something i didnt wanna talk to him about, AND HE KEPT GOING ON “whats wrong. do you wanna talk about it. you seem upset. you seem upset. whats wrong. im here”, SO I TURNED TO THE DUDE AND WAS LIKE “You’re going to make me a lot worse if you keep asking, and you and I both know you hate it when I get angry :)” like im ready to verbally rip this kid a new one i am SO ready.

Today he was smothering one of our friends because they went through a break up and oh my god even the tone of voice he uses sets off my shut-the-fuck-up reflexes ?? He was like “do you need anything, do you need snacks, do you need a hug, do you want me to buy you something, do you want me to rough him up, do you want me to send him a message, please dont cry crying is bad, do you want a hug” and our poor friend just sat their sulking not saying anything PROBABLY BECAUSE HE WAS SMOTHERING THEM. They got up and went somewhere so i turned to him and said “YOU ARE SMOTHERING THEM (awkward laugh to attempt to hide my anger) you are smothering them you cant do that. So he said “Hey you know word of advice you need to word things better because you might hurt someone’s feelings” and all i said was “right”. Then later in the day I’m talking to our heartbroken friend and I’m using actual skills we learned in class and WHAT DO YOU KNOW, we’re making progress and they’re talking about it to me.

I’m so aggressive with this dude because 1, i cant stand him, and 2, he hasnt gotten it through our non aggressive talks in class. I wanna kick this into him, like 2013 tumblr style LISTEN UP FUCKER type of shit.

When i explained to him a few weeks ago that Homophobia Is Bad, do you know how he thanked me????????? He gave me his copy of ssb melee. That game is like his pride and joy and it sells for 80 fucking dollars and he gave it to some bitch that doesnt even like him. I don’t even want a thank you for telling you to not be a homophobic piece of shit. So now I have this copy of melee that i feel horrendous about having because I don’t even like this kid anymore i’m sick of him.

and the week after he gave me that guess what i found out haha???? HE HAS A CRUSH ON ME!!!!!!!!!! AWFUL!!!!!!!!! WHY DO YOU LIKE ME!!!!!! I HAVE DONE NOTHING BUT CONTINUOUSLY HURT YOUR FEELINGS I DO NOT GET IT.

Last week he left a bag of those hersheys clusters on my part of the table and when i seen them a wave of defeat and anger washed over me, i dont want your fuckin gifts, i dont want your money, i dont want you to give me things because you like me. i do not appreciate it. it feels wrong. I think he cried because i didn’t acknowledge the bag. after class he said he got them for me and i told him i didnt feel right taking them, so he said “just pretend that they came out of nowhere” and i shook my head and said no and i left them there. idk what happened to that bag.

twice back in september he commented on my eating habits, said i had a sweet tooth WHEN I WAS EATING HEALTH FRUIT GUMMIES???? so now i cant eat in front of him or else i panic.

we’re fine texting each other but i really do not enjoy being around him irl. and today i came to the realization that I’m not gonna get along and vibe with everybody, he just happens to be one of those people.

so now i’m like, angry a lot of the time again because i have to deal with him and his terrible work ethics and tristan transference

I should’ve known he didn’t like metroid.

#noop nooping #YA LIVE YA LEARN YA GET MAD.

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bigloquatthoughts · 3 years

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Thoughts While I Watch The Nintendo Direct A Day Late

Thoughts on the Nintendo Direct: Yoko Toro is an interesting person, that card game looks interesting but Y wouldn’t I just play Talisman? Cool to see more isometric RPGS on switch.

Hyrule Warriors is fun! Age of Calamity is where I really fell in love with the musou formula again - I played a LOT of DW Empires 5, so taking over a map / doing stuff on a map before combat is fun. The silly weapons like the broom etc also make this really fun. I’ll gladly play more of this. the new scientist warrior looks sick! Who asked for Chocobo GP? This looks like Garfield Racing re-skinned and with better physics maybe. When they said Chocoboooooo! I was hoping for a Chocobo’s Dungeon. My buddy Ted got that game with his PS1 and we though it was soooo cool, especially after playing Azure Dreams on Gameboy.

Thanks for telling us when we can see the new Smash Fighter which is probably more Sword boy / Sword gorl why won’t you put any interesting fighters in this game I am moving to Smash Bros CatDog Edition. Kirby washing up on an island is the most unlikely thing for a being who summons giant warp stars to fly through the universe on but okay. this looks INCREDIBLE. Kirby + Nier vibes with the busted up environment. what bums me out is that we saw the same enemy like, 10 times in the first 10 seconds of that one area. The giant snakes / fish are cool, but lets see some more variation maybe 3D Kirby boss fights look pretty freaking fun! 3D Kirby looks pretty great. It will suffer from Kirby things and also be fun. I will play it.

Hey, don’t worry. We’ll tell you some things about Animal Crossing in October. Not now - but in October. U will have content in November. Just hold on pls, be on the lookout for all ur rotten turnips in ur house

Lets move on, to more stuff second free update for Mario golf, which I would LOVE to play but can’t afford rn. I played it at my neighbors the other day and it’s pretty damn good. new courses and seeing little ninji run around will be very fun. Cool, kid Disney game. Dope. Old Republic for Switch looks great! Dying Light 2: Mirrors Edge edition. Oh, we can play with other people? That seems fun. Do we scavenge together? The Control cloud game demo felt okay on my wifi, but IDK about these cloud games as something worth getting on the switch when PC’s are a thing?

Triangle strategy looks dumb, Disgea does that shit better now right? Metroid Dread looks really cool, excited to run from big robot and make Samus Very Strong Hopefully u get to crawl around as big robot at some point in the game. Love the lore dump we get. Dude, Chozo were here! That’s sick!

Many people have been using switch online… Oh, giving out their old roms gathering dust for “free,” with their current sub was too generous for Nintendo I suppose. New plan for N64 games seem sick - the playing together online thing is very cool. Starting library is standard but nothing too exciting. Very excited to see how the emulation handles these games in relation to how they behaved on the console, as all the cool sped running shit we see in these sorts of older games vary depending on the version of the game.

I’m more excited about the Genesis line up than I am about the N64 one, save those two games I don’t recognize. We get Castlevania, a Contra, some puyo, Beatem ups, and playing this version of Gunstar Heroes might sell more of the other one. Expansion Pack is a name.

Notice how Mystical Ninja Starring Goemon and Comix Zone are not on these lists? They are too afraid to give us the best of what both platforms have to offer and it’s a shame.

WIRELESS CONTROLLERS FOR $60 EACH? ARE THEY BLUETOOTH SO I CAN USE THEM WITH OTHER STUFF? WTF

I was just talking to my friends about the Shadowrun Isometric RPGs last night! Cool. Castlevania collection looks dope. Button mapping is huuuuge for me. Love that. An Almighty Classic Returns: Actraiser - even the SNES game was hella off my radar, this looks dope. I’m down to side scroll and then town build. Deltarune + Homestuck are games that I really really want to play but my depression is such that I just sit and stare at the starting screen and nothing happens. One day I will consume Toby’s works and be better for it. But until then, I’ll just be excited for my friends and listen to the baller soundtrack. god dammit I love that dog.

new story of seasons looks cool but Natsume is dead, no hope left cept for Stardew #doomer NAMCO Hamster - yes. Rune Factory 5 might be good on the switch. The 3DS versions were sooooo sloooowwwww for me. I’ve heard really good things about the franchise as a whole though. MARIO movie thoughts: THIS CASTING IS GREAT EXCEPT FOR CHRIS PRATT WTF. WHY IS HIMBO WHO HATES GAYS MY MARIO?

CHARLIE DAY AS LUIGI WAS WRITTEN IN THE FUCKING STARS EXCEPT HIS SHORTER THAN FUCKIN CHRIS PRATT, HOW THE FUCK COULD YOU MESS THIS UP. CHARLIE DAY AS MARIO AND CHRIS PRATT AS LUIGI BECAUSE HE BUSTS GHOSTS WHICH IS SUPER THEOLOGICAL ANYWAY GOD DAMN DUDE. THIS ISN’T THAT HARD.

KEEGAN MICHAEL KEY AS FUCKIN TOAD MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD. I AM SO EXCITED FOR THAT.

JACK BLACK AS BOWSER - WOULD HAVE BEEN A BETTER MARIO BUT ANYTHING THIS MAN TOUCHES IS GOLD.

Movie is saved by Seth Rogan, I bet you 1 full bitcoin that DK saves this fuckin movie.

FRED ARMISEN AS CRANKY KONG IS ACTUALLY PERFECT. He is a real life hipster Cranky Kong and I love it. Dude playing Kamek looks familiar? Who is that

After seeing Wreck it Ralph, doesn’t Mario sound more like a Kenneth the Page than a Starlord? IDK man. Boomers are weird. Splatoon 3 looks cool, bummer it’s still 4v4 but whatever. the story mode for 1 and 2 were great aside from the difficulty spikes. stoked.

THE WAY THAT BAYONETTA IS REVEALED IS ONE PUNCH MAN TIER COMEDY.

Also, ya’ll spoiled it for us with the capcom font.

WAIT A GLOVED HAND PUNCHED, NOT A DEMON HAND? YOOOOO MOMMYYYYYYY THIS HAIR.

YOOO BUTTERFLY SHIT HELL YEAH

THERE IS MY BIG HAIR DEMON YES OH SHIT WE GET TO MEGA ZORD FIGHT WITH OUR DEMON?! THIS IS FUCKIN SICK

OH DIFFERENT DEMONS TO FIGHT WITH THIS IS SICK. THIS IS HOW I WANT POKEMON TO PLAY. 100% NOT JOKING. BAYONETTA: GODZILLA EDITION

HOLY SHIT THAT IS TIGHT

UHHHH IS DANTE GONNA BE IN THIS

WHO IS THAT BOI WITH THE SWORD

UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Alright. There have been better directs, Christmas line up is looking p weak so far. Hopefully they can give us some bangers for holiday.

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aurimeanswind · 6 years

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Back Again—Sunday Chats—7/8/18

Welcome Back!

It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these, and I wanted to open up with a bit of a litany of excuses as to why that is! I know when you’re just on the outside looking in its hard to know exactly why I haven’t been posting these or asking questions, or really anything on Sundays. It’s a combination of things.

First of all, the last two Sundays I have not been home to write up Sunday Chats. Three weeks ago I was in Cuba! Well, technically I was at Key West, the day before I’d go to Cuba, on a cruise ship. Most importantly, the only internet access I had was through the data on my cell phone, and so I couldn’t really post Sunday Chats. In theory, I could solicit questions via my phone, I could write it up offline, and then go on and post it when I’d get home the following Wednesday, but I really didn’t want to because it was honestly a genuine vacation for me. I wanted to kind of check out and try and not be online so much. Of course, I failed a little bit in this regard, I was checking Twitter ravenously any time I had an internet connection, because I have a problem. For the most part, when I was off on my cruise with my mom and my brothers three weeks ago, I was without an internet connection, and it was a little nice, but also a little stressful.

The week before that, it was E3! We were living in the Microsoft/Bethesda press conferences! I was going to write something that day but honestly between the post shows and just consuming E3 I honestly did not have time. I’ve done like, reaction write ups in the past, but I was a bit more down to live in the moment this go around.

Then I was in San Francisco! It was the day after Kinda Funny Prom, which was lovely, we’ll get to that in a bit, but that Sunday I was seeing a movie with Barrett Courtney, my sweet boy, and was just exhausted after KFP and everything then. I had stayed up way too late the night before talking games and eating pizza. I had a great time, but I was still pretty checked out.

The Sunday between those two, I was completely exhausted. Honestly? I’m still exhausted. The best thing, I think, to alleviate my normal “post-con depression” type thing I get after a Kinda Funny Live event and seeing all my friends is taking another, separate vacation just beforehand. I had barely enough time to stay at home and just sit on my couch and play video games before suddenly being whisked off to San Francisco. So getting home, I am just so happy to be home, to be sleeping in my pitch-black room on my comfy foam mattress. To lay on my couch and play whatever video game I want (which mostly has been Tales of Vesperia... again) and just... relax. Ya know what I mean? I just want to relax. I’m a solitary person. I’ve talked many a-time before on here, but I just love to be alone a lot. And I just want to be alone sometimes, especially after several back-to-back socially exhausting experiences.

And that’s a big part about why I’ve been so crappy about doing Sunday Chats consistently. Even before this last month of vacations I’ve been very touch and go about SC. Now that I have fully transitioned into being a full time employee, I work a lot more than my body is used to, even if I am four months into my new role at my job. It’s a lot for me. And I’m barely keeping up with my IP work of being an editor there. And that’s, I think, more important, because I am making decisions and a team is relying on me for that.

I essentially circle around two days off a week, Wednesday and Sunday, and so I work Thursday-Friday-Saturday, plus I have the podcast on Friday nights. Without getting too into the details, Saturdays at my job take quite a toll. Like, a lot on me, so just making it to Sunday, I’ve genuinely forgotten completely about Sunday Chats because I am sleeping in and resting and just trying to get my bearings. I know it’s not much of an excuse, but I’m hoping to turn Sundays into equally as productive days as they are relaxing. It’s just about finding that balance.

As per usual, my trip to San Francisco was motivational in some ways, so I feel inspired to continue to work harder and do more now that I’m home, and hopefully that can last me until PAX West in a couple months.

But that’s generally where the status of Sunday Chats is. As a big update, while not going into effect quite yet (maybe not even for months) but Sunday Chats will soon transition to be a full feature on IrrationalPassions.com. I think it’s a natural transition and it makes sense. It’ll still be available and accessible to all, but I want to play around with some format ideas I have, and I think it makes sense to be there since it is, predominantly, about video games, as it always kind of was. I want to have these heartfelt chats there, because I think as the “editor-in-chief” of the site, it helps build a rapport with the audience of that site which seems to grow every month.

Now that’s all done, let’s get to the editorial!

My Feelings and Emotions in San Francisco

I like this title because it’s just all about the feels. As many frequent Sunday Chats readers would know, depression is just slowly becoming one and the same with me. Like two amorphous blobs just close enough to each other that they become one. Like slime enemies from Dungeons & Dragons that just jell together on spiritual and self-hatred-like level.

So I’ve been through a rough like... 2018 to be honest. And so being in a place where I was just genuinely surrounded by affection and good vibes was really, really moving for me. I put out a twitter thread about the feeling which I think encapsulates most of what I’d want to say, and you can read that here.

But a big thing is how being in SF has proven to be a huge opportunity for me in the past: a time to “schmooze” as some people say, and talk to people, make connections, market yourself, or just meet as many people as you can and spread “the brand” as much as possible. And honestly, I just wasn’t here for that this year. I’ve gotten to a very, maybe even regressive place in my life, where I’d rather not get out there and try and be at the center of things and meet as many folks as possible. There were certainly several folks I had never met before that I wanted to meet, but for the most part I spent that time focusing on more intimate interactions with specific people.

A lot of this manifested in folks I’ve admired for a great long while, and that’s the fellows at OK Beast. I got to have a real heart to heart with Ian Preschel, someone I just haven’t been as close to for whatever dozen reasons that usually amount to time, and understand him better as a person. I got to have an emotional moment with Moises, someone I admire so goddamn much and for some reason keeps saying I’m the reason he started writing. I got to spitball ideas with Alex Van Aken, my fellow Alex-in-Arms, and share the wonders of running a business Slack with Blessing. They’re people I just genuinely look up to and inspire me legitimately every day, and I’m excited and hopeful to collaborate with them in the future. I have nothing but love for all of them, including Brandon, wherever he is out there.

I got to spend a ton of time with Barrett and Alyssa, my hosts, and Jacob Bryant who was also rooming with me at their place. They’re just family to me. Enough said.

I got to spend a huge chunk of time with Nicole Humphrey and Cameron Abbott, two very special friends to me, and for reasons I’d rather not put on blast here, it was very important to me that this time was worked into my trip, and I’m so glad it was.

Those dense, meaningful interactions are what I live for. It’s literally why I started the show Get Acquainted (new episodes coming soon I promise!) and they were the highlights of the weekend. I won’t list them all here, but suffice to say on a personal level this trip was very important to me, rather than on a “business level” which it has been for me in the past.

Thank you all for being open to wasting your time with me, I’ll be forever grateful.

ONTO GAMES.

What’s On Tap

Hollow Knight

I HAVEN’T TALKED ABOUT THIS GAME ON SUNDAY CHATS AT ALL YET AND IT’S INCREDIBLE OMG.

I love this game.

Final game time was 42h and 7m, and all of it was excellent. Well... Not all of it, there were a couple very frustrating bosses. But most of it was excellent.

One of the best Metroidvanias ever made. Symphony of the Night, Super Metroid, Ori and the Blind Forest, Hollow Knight, and Metroid Prime are the best of the genre full stop. It sits proudly in that number.

Don’t think. Play it.

Unless you really don’t like hard games, because it’s very difficult, but crazy rewarding!

Ys VIII

I just got this pretty recently and am only about four or so hours in, and so far it’s just a wonderful delight.

Compared to the demo I played a great many months ago on PS4, the Switch version does take quite the graphical hit, especially if you have a hangup about anti-aliasing. There are a LOT of jaggies to be seen here

BUT, I think performance wise it’s still very solid. Some hitches here and there, but during combat it’s generally smooth, and that’s what’s most important.

Very good. Recommended.

Captain Spirit

Honestly, there is too much to say here. Don’t hesitate, go play this. I do not care if you’re like Jurge Cruz (social media editor at IP) and are dead inside and don’t like Captain Spirit. It’s free. Go play it.

Nuff. Said.

More thoughts coming soon.

Questions

Remember you can tweet me your questions by looking for my tweet with #SundayChats in it on Sunday afternoons, and you can be a part of this write up! Much love to everyone who always shows up (I’m looking at you Brandon Gann! <3)!

Goddammit Tyler you keep asking me wrestling shit and you know I hate wrestling...

Uhh...

What if I just showed up and was Noctis?

Originally posted by ffxvcaps

A great many things! Event wise, I’m very excited about PAX West. Assuming I can still make it, which I should be able to, it’ll be a blast.

Plus there are new shows and new things coming from IP soon that I am just hyped for.

But let’s be honest with each other? Okay? Let’s all be real here?

Motherfucking Tales of Vesperia Definitive Edition.

‘Nuff said.

My favorite Romantic Comedy of All Time just so happens to also be my favorite movie of all time, Silver Linings Playbook.

It is, in my humble opinion, a perfect film. It is the only movie I have watched over 10 times.

It’s very important to me, and while it may seem dumb to many of you, it told me that even fucked up bad people like me can find love in both themselves and others. And I really needed to hear that when that movie found its way to me in 2013.

Good LORD am I the WORST to ask about this. Well, first, Jamie. It was a goddamn pleasure meeting you at prom.

I mean, look at us:

I was very drunk and I’m so sorry.

But on a real level, a few things.

First, I did this horrible thing where I wrote everyday for almost three years straight and that was just a self-made torture and I have to keep myself in shape motivationally speaking or else I’ll have to do that again. And that sounds torturous. But as far as building strong habits I think that did help a lot. I mean, Sunday Chats is a direct by product of that, and I think generally people seem to like SC.

Second, I spend a lot of my brain energy trying not to worry about shit I have zero control over. If I misread a text and think someone hates me for whatever reason, which I do pretty much on a daily basis, I’m either going to text them back and ask, or do nothing, and if I’ve decided to do nothing, then I don’t get to be upset about it. If someone is doing some wack shit, I’m either gonna keep talking to them, or nah. Just do it, and everything else, well there is nothing you can do about it. Usually. But my depressed-adled and crazy-ass garbage brain still spends many an hour worrying about things I have no control over. But I’ll say this, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve gotten better at it. Skill comes with time and age.

Third, I think finding someone on relatively equal footing as you but maybe doing something better or more interesting or just simply different than you can really be motivational. It’s easy to get demotivated by someone else’s success, but words I try and hold onto every goddamn day are “someone else’s success does not equate to your failure”.

I hope that helps!

I have not had a lot this year, unfortunately. Avengers was great? I looooved Ant Man and the Wasp! Adored it. Just saw it yesterday (on Sunday, actually!) and it was phenomenal.

But outside of that I don’t have much. It’s crazy to say that in a year where a new JK Rowling Harry Potter movie is coming out, but Johnny Depp is in that movie and he is fucking human trash and for some reason WB is letting him just waltz around like he hasn’t done horrific things.

But anyway, I’d very much like to see Fireworks, from the same folks what made Your Name, but the dub wasn’t playing anytime I could see it this past weekend. :(

Maybe if it goes up on streaming soon (which I’m hopeful it will) I can see it.

Outside of that, I got nothing.

As someone who actively dislikes breakfast and most breakfast food, this is tricky for me to answer. I know your whole breakfast fetish Quin, so I won’t shit on you here, but I guess it’d just be a simple bagel (everything bagel. or poppy seed, depending on my mood) or maybe pancakes/waffles.

My thing is waffles/pancakes aren’t breakfast food, they’re anytime food. Or 1am food.

I have traveled a lot yes, but it’s been to a lot of the same places over and over again unfortunately. Not that that’s necessarily bad, but it’s been a lot of SF, Boston, etc, etc.

Having just gone to Cuba, I finally have a passport! So it’s time.

It’s time Japan. I’m coming to you.

And hopefully Ireland too. But those trips will likely have to wait a bit and be very far from one another.

ISLAND BOY!

Well, that is a nightmare scenario for me, because I’d definitely die very quickly. BUT. If I had to choose.

First up would be Bentley from Sly Cooper, because he is a big needy nerd like me and would want to get the hell out of there ASAP just as much as I do, and he could make like, a series of small helicopters out of coconuts or some shit.

SECONDLY.... Hrmm.... harder choice.

There is a really great joke here about choosing Fi from Skyward Sword because maybe she could just DOUSE our way to a better situation, heaven knows...

But I’m mostly above that.

I’d say Cappy from Mairo Odyssey just because I just looked at my Cappy hat and it’d be fun to just capture turtles and crabs and stuff on the island. Not Bentley, he’d consider that an invasion of privacy.

I don’t know if YOU should get Detroit, but I absolutely love it. I’d say read Logan Wilkinson’s excellent review of the game, available here:

http://irrationalpassions.com/detroit-become-human-review/

He liked one relationship in that game a lot more than I did, but generally we’re on the same page with it. I love the game, and if Heavy Rain did anything for you then I think Detroit is better in just about every way.

I’ll say this: it’s not like 2018 has been BANGERs for me, but after 2017, where two of my new favorite games EVER came out (Breath of the Wild and Persona 5) it’s just so impossible to follow that up. That being said, I’m medium to high excited about MANY games this fall: Spyro, Tomb Raider, Valkyria Chronicles, AC Odyssey, Life is Strange S2, Code Vein, Darksiders 3, and Smash Bros. That’s a whole lot in just three short months to eat up like some yummy yummy candy.

So while I think he first half of 2018 has been pretty great, mostly because of Hollow Knight, but also Ni No Kuni 2, Celeste, Yakuza 6, and Moonlighter, its still been good. It’s been a big one for me to reconnect with my indie darlings. And that’s big for me.

I hope that helps!

Checklist

It’s been a while eh?

Well here are some recs!

“The Short But Chilling ‘Captain Spirit’ Weaponizes Empathy Against You” - Patrick Klepek - Waypoint.

I have barely read this but everything about it jives with me. Another one to check out only after you’ve played Captain Spirit, which I assume all of you are going to do, because it’s free, and because I asked you so nicely to do so.

The Music of Persona 4 Golden - Blessing Adeoye - OKBeast.com

I mean, it’s about arguably the best video game soundtrack of all time, from one of the best music-takers in games, that just so happens to be on my favorite video game of all time. What do you want? Go watch.

OK Beast Podcast Episode 100 - OKBeast.com

I’ve found myself far more into OKBP since they merged OKB and PPR into one show. Here is their 100th episode, where they decided to rank the best 100 video games ever. For some reason.

Like, what if on Ep 400 of IPP we ranked the top 400 video games of all time? Fuck that.

Love those boys.

That’s it. That’s all she wrote. Or rather, that’s all I wrote. Sorry this posted Monday, I hadn’t checked my work schedule for a minute and then I saw at like, 8:30pm I had to open today and that means I have to wake up at 6am and I figured I should be responsible and get a full night’s sleep. Still didn’t fall asleep until about 10:30am, but I wrote some of this last night.

I’m rambling.

I love you all.

Do me a favor though?

Keep it real.

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bryyo-data · 6 years

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Okay I'm pretty sure I swore off discourse when I started planet-bryyo but hey, it's Christmas!

With regards to the Samus-out-of-her-suit discussion, it seems to be a pretty subjective matter. I keep trying to put my opinions into words, and I think I've narrowed down the issues I have. So this is JUST my personal take on the entire thing: what I like from Samus, what I think works well and doesn't work well. Feel free to disagree and even drop a comment in the replies, I'm open to a change of opinion!

(FYI I stole all my images off Wikitroid to break up the text)

Seeing Samus outside her suit is a neat reward. In the original Metroid, it lead to the very significant reveal that Samus was a girl. A lot of games tease the woman-behind-the-suit with stuff like reflections in her visor, or a view of her eyes and expression during a cutscene, so the game culminating with her completely out of her suit can be very rewarding and awesome if done well.

While I have a bit of a preference for stuff like badass suit shots or Fusion's lore endings (which I think were Japanese exclusive so I've only ever see them via the wiki) it can be really fun to see Samus just chilling in her spare time. Zero Mission does this pretty well; she dons regular outfits, goes back to civilisation, and does normal stuff like drink at bars. It's nice to see her get some down time, and hint at what her life is like beyond her missions.

On the other hand, blatant this-scene-only-exists-to-show-off-her-boobs scenes aren’t my thing. Y'know, I’m willing to say a bit of sexiness probably doesn't do much harm. I'd argue that some of the scenes we see in the likes of Zero Mission and Fusion endings (like the above) are acceptably, as youtuber ShayMay puts it, "sexy not sexualised" and detract far less, if anything, from Samus' portrayal. Samus is pretty without it being obnoxiously sexualized. And hey, we're all human, loads of us like a bit of boob. They aren't of much interest to me but plenty of people love 'em. In Metroid, though, it just feels a bit excessive and unnecessary at times, and I think it can impact how Samus and certain scenes come across.

The zero suit segment of Metroid: Zero Mission was a really interesting part of the game, with that stealth mission being challenging and fun to play. That's just about the only thing I ever liked regarding the zero suit, because almost every other instance of its appearance (including cutscenes in Zero Mission itself) is used to scream "HEY LOOK GUYS, SEXY BUTT." Personally, I just don't think those shots mesh well with what Samus is generally portrayed like. There's better ways to go about showing her suitless, like the variety of civilian outfits she's been presented in, or even simply taking off the helmet as in Prime. She can look very beautiful in these shots, without it looking blatantly sexualised and a bit ridiculous. Compare the above bar scene to this thing which always really bugged me because it's literally just butt and sideboob and the way it's posed looks really weird.

I find it a bit jarring when we go from the imposing figure of the power suit to the zero suit, which tends to be used to scream boob and not much else. For the most part, suited Samus carries this gravitas that makes her very impactful as a character. Unfortunately, that gravitas pretty much instantly evaporates when she's put in a blatantly sexy shot on screen, no matter what she's saying or doing. Note that there IS a difference between "blatantly sexy shot" and "shot where Samus is not in her suit" and the latter would be no issue. We see that in the likes of Other M's ending, where she's in civilian clothing and can look nice without the camera lingering on her rear end too long and killing the impact. I have my issues with how Other M did things, but at least IIRC it didn't derail that ending moment with Anthony by making it weirdly sexy, unlike a few other parts of the game which I'll come to in a bit.

I don't think sexiness is automatically bad- see Bayonetta for what I guess is an example of sexiness done in a good, not-disempowering or disrespectful way? I guess? I haven't played those games. But sexiness in Metroid is put in places where it feels out of place. Zero Mission and Other M are bad offenders; the latter two Primes only have like one scene of it, so it's odd but can be more easily passed over if you aren't into the uncanny valley robot tiddy look from Prime 2 that haunts me to this day.

Hunters did the out-of-suit thing quite nicely too. Hunters stands as evidence that even the zero suit doesn't have to be inherently bad (though let's be real, it was designed for tiddy and it will probably be used for tiddy until the end of its days). Hunters was actually my intro to the franchise and the first time I personally saw the face of Samus Aran. If you beat Hunters before developing carpal tunnel syndrome, and if you access the hidden ending by fulfilling the Alimbic prophecy, the monster Gorea is destroyed in its final form and the Alimbic spirits telepathically contact Samus to thank her for what she has done. There's a lack of obnoxious proportions or questionable camera angles, so the scene comes across as meaningful as it's supposed to.

Prime did well in combining the thrill of "IT'S HER, IT'S THE PROTAGONISTS FACE" with the badassery of suited Samus, giving the scene quite a good impact. People remember that scene with fondness. It's a shame that so few scenes with non-suited Samus have managed to capture the same thing- like, imagine Samus standing on a hill in a long coat or some other awesome piece of apparel, gazing over a futuristic city like a watchful guardian. That would be sweet.

I personally liked the more realistic look they went for in Prime, despite technical limitations on the face model; it suited the tone of the game and the personality of Samus better than the weird anime kinda thing in Prime 3. You can get away with that look in the 2D games where everything has that art style, but all the other humans in Prime 3 were more realistic so it just looked out of place (we don't talk about Echoes...) but that's verging on a different issue entirely.

Zero Mission is one of my favourite games, possibly my favourite 2D game on par with Samus Returns at the minute. It did really well in a lot of stuff, but it also has a degree of booty with bad timing. The moment after Samus crashes and is left with nothing should be a fairly serious one- the situation is bleak, the task up ahead is daunting. The only hope you have is Samus' confidence and skill- and your skill as a player, which, if you're anything like me, you're starting to question in a moment of utter oh shit. This is also one of the few moments where Samus actually has some dialogue, which is all pretty straightforward with a hint of her good humour and personality.

That entire scene is framed over a very blatant butt shot. Maybe it's just me and I ought to care less, but I find it a bit harder to take the scene seriously because of it. Sexiness isn't inherently bad, there's a time and place for it, but is this serious scene really the time and place? I'm not even gonna pull up big words like objectification and such, I don't really know enough to say about those things, I just think it looks really silly there. If it needs to be included, couldn't it stay as the under-five-hours reward as per usual?

I could just be really bitter about that one, though.

Buff Samus is another related issue. I've seen loads of people saying "Samus looks good as she is!" and there's nothing wrong with that. I just thought I'd try and justify my own reasons for being a bit let down with Samus' current out-of-suit design. It's not so much the design in itself, nor the fact that she's not what the fandom fantasizes her being like. It's more related to the design's history and trends of change.

Personally, I'm just a little bitter that they felt the need to change Samus from the design they gave her in Super, because of WHY they changed it. In Super Metroids manual- and visibly in-game- Samus is toned and tall. These days, the media is gracing us with more tall and buff lady characters (Zarya from Overwatch, Brienne of Tarth from GOT, etc.) but when I was a kid I don't think I could name a single muscular lady outside of joke cartoon characters. Maybe sportswomen, but even then I can't think of any popular ones whose names I haven't learned in just the last few years. Doesn't mean there weren't any, just that I never came across any widespread ones, and I'm inclined to believe there weren't many around in popular media. Which made a taller, buffer Samus a little bit more of a revolutionary concept, important for the sake of seeing varied body types and such. It's important for people with those body types as much as it is for everyone else SEEING people with those body types and lifestyles.

Basically, as far as I can tell, Nintendo decided that "sex sells" and their major lady protag wasn't good enough without the sex appeal that comes with being skinny and shapely. They decided buff wasn't attractive, so they had to do things like cut her height down, slim her waist, bring out her chest, and make her ass stick out half the width of Zebes. Everything she was allowed to be before was stripped away and swapped out for your standard sexy woman's frame so people could titillate over her.

This only increased over time. Going from Zero Mission to Other M and the Smash Bros franchise, you can see this increasing trend of Samus getting promoted in-game and in pre-release material as sexier, up to Smash Bros 4 where so many Zero Suit promotional screenshots had her bent around like the token sexygirl in a forgettable Hollywood movie poster, posed for good view of her assets, or even put in freaking bunny ears which have their own set of connotations. Then there's the whole heels debate, which I'm not even gonna get into.

Her boobs are orbs.

If I'll say one positive- Samus Returns didn't do badly. Actually, big kudos to Samus Returns. All of its ending poses were all nods to other stuff for fans to recognise and they took time to make three different out-of-suit Samus outfits. Samus genuinely looks pretty cool in each of them. I really dig it!

I think some people in the fandom have the misconception that me- and others who share my opinion- don't like the idea of sexy women, or feminine women, being badass heroines. And that's simply not the case. People bring up Bayonetta as an example of "you can have sexy/pretty heroines" and while I can't really say a lot about her, as far as I can tell, her game really works well with it and is designed around her having the appearance and personality she has. Metroid is designed around a different sort of protagonist, in a different sort of atmosphere, and the sexualisation is kind of jarringly different from the surrounding material.

If Samus had always been a shortish, big-breasted woman with a strong personality and whose ass and boobs were never/scarcely highlighted in a sexy way, indicating that they exist just because she is a shapely person rather than because people won't survive the game without a boner, that would be sweet. In fact, I could really get behind that because I'm short as hell myself. It's secretly every short person's dream to have a cyborg suit which makes you tall enough to reach the top shelves and fight off everyone you're otherwise too small and weak to handle.

(Had Samus always been a sexy Bayonetta-esque character, I think the franchise would be very different in general. If that was part of the design, it would’ve worked, I guess.)

It's not Samus' size, shape, and proportions in themselves that have the effect of changing the scenes and character portrayal; it's the blatant fanservice and the way they're framing of these features to obviously have a very sexual appeal, and to me that doesn't sit well alongside the rest. When serious scenes are played over what looks like a SFW alt version of a porn pic you glance over while scrolling down the Metroid tag, it’s hard to see any of the impact that Samus had one scene earlier in her power suit. (Okay, I'm exaggerating a little for effect, but the point still stands.)

This peaks in games like Other M (disclaimer: I'm not a fan, apologies to fans of the game) where tragic and meaningful scenes are played over shots of Samus’ butt… like, it’s obvious what they were going for here. I’ve never been a straight male member of the obvious target audience for this so I can’t attest to whether the dual boner-and-tears method works at making a scene memorable, but for the most part it just looks silly from my point of view.

When Samus loses her suit in Other M- e.g. when Adam dies- and all the subsequent shots focus in on her rear end, it really doesn't feel like just about any suited shot in any Metroid game ever, and not in a good way. Like I think I said before, it strips Samus of a degree of gravitas that is integral to her character. Then it tries to play the moment off with a degree of seriousness and dignity that framing her ass like that just doesn't quite have.

(Then again, Other M Samus' lack of gravitas comes across even in the scenes where she's in her suit; this time it's nothing to do with sexualisation or anything, just that her postures and movements don't display any confidence in what she's doing, which is weirdly different from her normal presentation but persists throughout the entire game. Some people like it, I don't think it works, each to their own.)

I've sorta lost track of where I was going so I'm gonna round off here. I'll emphasise that this is all my opinion and interpretation, I don't expect everyone to agree and I completely respect that. I think it's absolutely fair to love Samus while being critical of how her designers portray her and the wider impacts of those choices- at the end of the day, she is fictional and doesn't make these choices for herself. As the audience, we are the ones who feel those choices, for better or worse depending on your own view.

I'm a bit salty about how Samus is portrayed outside of her suit and wish the Samus on the inside was allowed to carry the weight that Samus in the suit does. That doesn't mean she can't be beautiful, but the active increase in her sexy traits and highlighting of those traits over the years is a little bit infuriating, especially considering what they were willing to do with her design early on in the timeline.

Feel free to drop comments, I'm going to try and steer clear of my own salt for the rest of the holidays but I'm keen to know what other people think!

#Metroid #Salt

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blastoisemonster · 3 years

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Ask any collector ever and they'll agree that a collectable's value is determined by both rarity and demand: the macaroni art made when you were 7 might be a unique piece, but if no one wants it, it's not even worth of an empty peanut's shell. And yet, there's people all over the world trying to sell their useless old crap for thousands just because they've never seen anything else like it: some may genuinely have no idea what they're doing, others are willingfully trying to scam their unfortunate customer; the Internet has gathered both these categories on the big virtual stage called EBay for us all to gander, and in some cases, the only sensible thing to do is just observe.

Enter The Things You Can't Never Have, a periodic list published by PlatypusComix centered on unique videogame-related memorabilia that, regardless its initial offer, look immensely rare but at the same time inexplicably expensive... and useless. All these listings were actual sales that went up on EBay or similar e-commerce platforms, and some of these, as absurd it may sound, even ended up well!

I've discovered PlatypusComix and its articles a few years ago thanks to my buddy Senseless, and at the time I was about to lose the link as I didn't remember its name! Now it's safe in my blog.

The list consists of several pages, the first of which is of course linked above: since it's a rather unhortodox site when it comes to navigation, here's a link to Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, and let's hope there's gonna be more, because this article hasn't been updated since last year!

All in all, The Things You Can't Never Have is a genuinely good read (heck, all of the author's videogame memories are!) and the skeptic tone used to describe every single item is hilarious; yet, we're talking about a fifteen-pages article and some priceless moments may get forgotten or lost after a while! So, here's my top 5 useless expensive videogame memorabilia, because even after all these years, I still can't fathom how people thought these things could have any value at all.

5. A GameCube Kiosk... From McDonald's Remember when you attended your favourite family restaurant just to play arcade games? Apparently the famous american store chain decided to revive this idea by encasing a poor GameCube in a red and yellow plastic prison and turn it into a pay-to-play machine. Seller sais it's been "fully restored", probably implying that it was so covered in fast food grime that prevented it from working. Even after hundred washes I think this abomination will still feel greasy to the touch and smell of burnt frying oil. It sold for 5000$.

4. A Shenmue Branded Pen Shemue was a visionary, ahead-of-its-time RPG for Dreamcast which is nowadays mostly known to be one of the classics when it comes to teen YouTuber banter. The game itself is actually a rather interesting beast and it's a common reccomendation for fans of the genre; the pen version... not so much: it's a standard ballpoint clickpen. Since it just bears the title logo with no additional art, if you sign up to one of those gadget printing services online you could actually produce hundreds of these. This particular specimen sold for 63$.

3. A Pair Of Underwear Aptly chosen promotional item produced to advertise Ratchet & Clank: Going Commando. Get it? This item listing is a bummer because there's not even a picture of the unfolded front showing the full logo. I also hope to whatever's holy that the seller didn't try these on before asking money for them. Furthermore, at 125$ as selling price, I can now say that there's indeed more expensive underwear than high quality brand bras out there in the world.

2. Nintendo Cereal System Breakfast cereals with Mario and Zelda themed marshmellows which, at the time, included an holographic t-shirt with everyone's favourite heroes. This listing wasn't for the cereals inside nor for the shirt, but just for the box itself... at least its front is holographic as well. You'd think after 30 years the crunchies would still turn soggy with milk? This was an expensive box, gone for 99$.

1. A Decade Old Cookie At least those Nintendo cereals were sold in shops for a prolonged period of time: this actual, once edible cookie was a promotional item given as part of a "press kit" during the preview of Metroid Prime 2: Echoes. The game came out in 2004, so there's at least a decade of mold and rot piling up on that unfortunate pastry: I wouldn't even give it to Ashens to review. It went for 129$ and 99 cents. The best/worst part is, behind this listing there's actually a person who attended to the preview event, was given the cookie, and thought "Hm, maybe instead of biting into this I can save it up for 10 years or so and it'll become valuable memorabilia!". Did they not think that it would go stale after just a week? How did they manage to keep this at home without any roomate/family member ordering to throw it away? Doesn't this cookie smell, or attract any sort of insects? Are those black spots chocolate bits or bubbles of fermented filth? We may never know.

Bonus: Pokèmon-Branded Champagne Glasses Promotional item for Pokèmon: The Movie. Tall and narrow chalices with Pikachu and the ever-famous logo etched on it, along with the flick's release date: November 10, 1999. Who am I kidding? I actually want these, especially if they come in pair! I want to toast my New Years and anniversaries with my boyfriend in pure late 90's style. Hell, they even go for 49$, which is honestly affordable compared to brand glass sets. Where's the listing?

#Links

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eosgamedesigner · 5 years

Text

Probably an unpopular opinion that I need to get off my chest:

Metroid: Other M needs to be reevaluated by critics. Like, I remember very vividly what critics were like when the game came out. Aside from criticizing gameplay that was more or less consistent with other main series Metroid games (yes, I love the Prime games, but you cannot compare Metroid Prime to Metroid Fusion, they’re built with a lot of the same components but in radically different ways), but also there was a ton of objections to the game on the basis of it’s anti-feminist rhetoric.

The game predates Gamergate by like a couple of years and this is probably a solid piece of evidence that Gamergate was a hatemob that just used “ethics in game journalism” as a shield to deflect criticism in order to hate on women. Other M failed because there were a lot of people who critiqued Samus’s portrayal in Other M and yet, there was hardly ever a defense of “the creator’s artistic integrity”, whether it be Samus’s personality or appearance.

In the years since Gamergate left it’s mark on gaming history, for better and for worse, a lot of things Other M was criticized for has been praised in other games. More rounded, humanized depictions of female characters? Other M had 3 main female characters all playing a huge part in the story as the hero, the villain, and a red herring bystandered. A story with a female protagonist that doesn’t rely on romancing a man? Samus’s interactions with men are as friends and commanding officers.

I would just be really interested in more modern takes on the game without the baggage of the pre-gamergate criticism that came before it. Mainly because to this day, I think the critiques of the game from around the time it came out were awful and just non-sense.

For example:

Critics basically didn’t want to pay attention to the story that was being told. They treated Ridley like he was Bowser to Samus’s Mario even though other games and mediums had definitely taken Ridley as much more of a threat to Samus. I saw critiques trying to claim that Samus had an Electra complex with Adam, even though the game is pretty clear that Samus just wanted the respect of her father figure, that she left the GF army because she felt like Adam couldn’t trust her to be good enough, and that in the end, Adam’s stern demeanor was because he cared about Samus as a father would. Like, the game’s central themes were basically about family and loss. It starts off with Samus remembering how the baby metroid sacrificed its life for hers and how she was dealing with that. In the flashback, Adam refused to let Samus rescue his own brother because he knew his brother was lost and he couldn’t risk Samus’s life either, and the (spoilers) main villain comes about because they were trying to take her away from her mother.

There’s also how poorly a lot of critiques were about the “authorizing gear” idea worked. Like, I understand how a lot of people like to harp on “why didn’t Samus just turn her varia suit on in the lava section?” and while I think there’s a reason you can reason from that, it is probably the most awkward scene in the game. But I think it shouldn’t be ignored that by the end of the game, Samus is just activating powers as she needs them. In fact, I remember kinda getting stuck at one part for a while because the power was activated without the game really notifying me. Like, I think it’s about Samus moving from a vulnerable state of loss of identity and confusion over the baby metroid’s sacrifice to rediscovering her independence. I get that maybe more Metroid fans like the bad ass portrayals of Samus (you know, the one that has no emotions, no dialogue, and who could easily be mistaken for a man), but at least Other M gave us an actual character driven story. One where the main character goes from point A to point B with a character arc and wants and needs and desires and all that.

This isn’t to say the game’s story didn’t have faults. I think centering Samus’s character around her psuedo-mother hood was a little old fashioned and much in the same vein as Aliens, which you know, is kind of an old movie. Some of Samus’s character design changes were unnecessary, but I think it should also be acknowledged that they barely show up (i didn’t even know Samus had gained heels until people pointed them out to me). And like, yeah, it was a much more action focused game than something like Super Metroid, which while it was fun, wasn’t what I was expecting from a Metroid game.

Other M wasn’t the best game ever, it was certainly not the best Metroid game ever, but with the franchise being somewhat revived thanks to the remake of Metroid II and a new Prime game on the horizon, I’d really like to see a more critical and nuanced look at this game, especially as more feminist-ish ideas had been injected into the gaming mainstream thanks to people like Anita Sarkeesian and the push back against Gamergate.

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