#or maybe one sided from diehard man?

[genericpuff]

saw a post criticizing lore rekindled a while back, and one of the points made was "it's unfair to rachel that someone else can profit off and make money off her work"

do you profit off lore rekindled??? i don't remember if you ever said that you were monetizing lore rekindled, so i'm unsure where this piece of information came from

I literally do NOT profit off Rekindled in any way shape or form, it's a Tumblr comic that's free to read, zero subscriptions, paywalls, or ads.

I did just recently open a Patreon and apply my Twitch channel to become affiliate, but 1. my Patreon doesn't have any paid members yet , 2. my Patreon won't be offering rewards that limit the reading experience of Rekindled (it's gonna be like random doodles n junk), and 3. I haven't even streamed since I applied for Affiliate and people are watching the streams for art and lo-fi, not for any sort of exclusive reading experiences that wouldn't also be accessible on Tumblr (you just get to watch me slowly work on Rekindled while playing FF XIV LMAOO) All of these restrictions I have in place is to prevent exactly what folks assume or accuse me - profiting off Rachel's IP. At the end of the day I just wanna create an AU fanfic project, even if it's created out of disappointment for what could have been.

I *do* spend a few hundred a month though for my assistant. So I'm working on Rekindled completely at a loss, out of my own pocket. So in that regard, even if I were to monetize any part of Rekindled... it wouldn't be for my own profitable gain, I'd maybe be able to cover some of my assistant fees 🤣 (but that's just hypothetical food for thought, because as I said above, I don't want to monetize Rekindled because of the potentially legal and ethical issues in doing so. Making money is also just not why I'm making Rekindled because it's something I wanna just do for fun! Money complicates things, turns shit into a job :'0) And let's be real, in that hypothetical scenario, I don't think any money I could generate on my free to read Tumblr project would come anywhere close to threatening Rachel's bottom line 🤣

And this isn't to throw anyone under the bus but when people get suspicious of Rekindled profiting off LO, I can't help but think of the actual fans of LO selling handmade LO merch on Etsy and LO-style adoptables and other arts and crafts dedicated to their favorite comic. And I'm not gonna judge them for that, more power to 'em if people wanna buy their cool stuff (and some of it is really REALLY cool, like I wanna buy their stuff too LOL), I just think it's ironic that people separate the two because... I'm not a diehard fan? Or because Rekindled has gotten popular here. Beats me. All that "popularity" is still just a niche remake of a niche comic in a niche medium. It's not Spiderman Lotus levels of big 🤣 but I know it probably feels that big to people who are engaged with this fandom and spend a lot of time in it.

There's an opposite side of being a yes man that perpetuates similar behavior on the other side - when you come up with reasons to rag on someone just for the sake of it because you can't rationalize them NOT being the all 100% pulp of evil LMAO (and I see people do this even to Rachel and it's not fair imo, like people who use the Lolita thing as a way to accuse Rachel of being a legitimate pedophile? Like no, I don't think we should be normalizing serious accusations like that. I think she's just misinformed in a lot of ways at worst and suffering from dark romantasy porn brainrot at best LOL).

Like, as an example, I've also seen people claim stuff like I'm in the fan spaces telling people not to read LO and to read LR instead? Which like... why would I do that, LR isn't for the fans anyways and I don't gain anything by being a dick in their space 🤣 If my own readers are doing that, that's out of my hands (but respectfully don't do this please!!! there's a reason I don't use the standard LO hashtags and only stick to the anti ones!!!!) but again (and this is a big assumption so take with grains of salt) I think people just like to claim these things because they feel it's just naturally the right thing to do when someone who has opinions they don't like actually puts them into action. Because now they can't say shit like "well if you think you're so much smarter than Rachel why don't YOU write the story!" and "you don't know what it's like to manage a comic!" so they grapple onto whatever other argument they can even if it's misconstrued or entirely pulled out of thin air and not backed up with any legitimate evidence.

Their perspectives make sense to them. My perspective makes sense to me. I don't blame people for being suspicious when they see someone like me pour this much time and effort and money into a project like Rekindled, they assume it HAS to do with something they can rationalize from their own point of view, like wanting to "steal" Rachel's work or profit off it or take it for myself out of "jealousy".

Sorry to disappoint y'all with a boring answer, but I'm just someone who was once a huge fan of LO and couldn't let it go. I'm just someone who's way too hyperfixated, with a lot of passion for making comics and experience to match. I'd still be making it even if I didn't have an assistant. I'd still be making it even if I was stuck working with nothing but paper and pencil. Because I love making it and I love what it means to me, and I love that it makes other people feel the same way I do about it.

And that's really all I have to say on that.

[askuemki]

So I have no idea if I’ll keep this post up, but…

A little rant abt re8?? (And cod.. kinda) maybe venting (just a mess :,)

Disclaimer, take my opinions with a grain of salt I just wanna ramble lmao

Also spoilers, maybe (update, definitely)

So I’ve been having fun dipping my toes into Donna Beneviento (god her last name is hard to spell) content. After watching the gameplays and to at least have a basic understanding for the game, I find myself really drawn to her, maybe more than Alcina tbh

By no means i’m a diehard fan or anything, recently it’s been hard to find a new fandom to get attached towards. As much as I adore cod, there isnt really much to get attached too… like sure, task 141 is a fun group and the there is some GREAT art about the ships- but I only got attached because of Valeria, I won’t deny it at all. I’m a diehard lesbian, but there isn’t really much cannon content of her?? It’s really damn disappointing sometimes, man… same with Laswell. I appreciate all of the fanartists out there though, I adore all of the content here, fanfics or fan art. With Farah, she’s a diffrent story.. personally I never really got attached to her, but as a character she’s pretty neat. Her story sort of brings to light the horrors happening today which is a bit of a benefit…?? But ever since I found out things about both Valeria’s and Farah’s actors I’ve been a little off about things here and there. I don’t think I’ll stop posting Valeria content at all, it just might be a little less offen to indulge in different things.

Some personal things have been happening to make me feel really disconnected from like.. fucking everything for some reason?? Like I’m drifting away from fandoms, I’m drifting away from people and I’m like alone again.. I’m lost in a damn dumpster fire. AI art doesn’t help with this at all.. like why do I draw?? I’ve been drawing since I was in kindergarten like I never really thought of the specifics of perusing art, more or so just that I want to. Like hey, I wanna make a game or movie series, and something in me doesn’t realize I need to put in the effort to learn shit with just ends up in me doing nothing but self pitting on something I can change and ugh.. wish I can slap myself to get out of it.

So I think I’ve been kind of finding myself relating to Donna. Not in her extreme way, more or so just her aspect of being isolated, and just being known primarily for one thing. Like.. our side of art? Damn. Shit. I think I’m worth nothing.. and with Donna we don’t really know much about her besides her being a cursed Dollmaker, and the bare bones of her past. And we both barely fucking speak man… both hide our faces too !! maybe I kin this woman or something I don’t know

But as I was looking through her tumblr tag, I saw a rant about how headcannons and stuff has been stripping away the interesting stuff about the re8 villains… and with the things I’ve seen so far?? I can kinda agree, honestly.

Don’t get me wrong, if it’s not too.. insane? (I know those boundaries are hard to define at times, but maybe REALLY immoral shit for our “normal” world) and people aren’t forcing these headcannons into other people? I don’t mind headcannons. You do you, boo!

But the fan content I’ve seen, people reduce Donna and Alcina (I’m surprised it was pronounced as AlCHIna and not AlSIna, but side tangent over) from the potential they really have. Yeah it’s definitely nice to see Donna more, especially in those intimate moments.. but sometimes I feel like people just depict her as some shy, easily gullible, girl, and not really the mentally deprived woman she is. Like I’d love to see ideas of the different dolls Donna could create, or unique imagery of her mental state outside of having porcelain skin. What about the kinds of plants she takes care of? Or the dolls she makes? I’d love to see more of it, whether she has favorites, or if it’s a situation where she has doll replicas of her deceased family. Man, I really wanna see Donna do more creepy shit, basically.

With Alcina however? She’s kind of reduced to that (I’m going to cringe at these words so terribly, god help me) “hot vampire mommy”.. I’ll take fault for not looking into her content as much, I’m sure there’s great content out there !! (I’m not sure if anyone would do this but.. feel free to send me any fic recommendations or art) With what I want to see for her? I’ve heard from the rant post as a man-hating woman she had primarily female statues in her castle, it would be fun to see what else she has cause of this worldview, as well as more whitty remarks from her; I really enjoy her throwback with Heisenberg. Just in general.. her being a comical villain.

Okay so, the reason why I made this post in the first place before all of this shit threw up from my brain. Belladonna. At first, this ship really interested me, I like the character dynamics, the art was neat. But then something came up in my mind.. (as well as another rant post on the ship..) isn’t the Dimitrescu bloodline related with Donna? Both are failed experiments from Mother Miranda, and technically adopted by her. Though from what I know, Donna is the only one officially adopted. So would that be family..? I’ve seen a few places where Alcina called Donna her sister, and it makes me feel really off.

And I’ve seen in a few fanarts, Donna technically older than the Dimitrescu sisters posed next to them like another sibling??

I would like to endorse the ship, but just the morality of everything is off centered for me. I rather not support weird incest…

So please if people could maybe clarify for me whether it would technically be okay for support this ship.. I’d appreciate it. If it isn’t okay, I have plans on making a fan character anyways, or I can take current characters and make a resident evil au or something, and ship them when Donna. (I have a character that honestly looks like a mix of Alcina and Bela, but by no means she’s relates to the franchise, lmao)

By no means I’m experienced in resident evil lore or the fandom, this is just coming from a newer fan of the series, and what I’ve seen so far.

If you read all of this.. thank you?? I apologize if I sound ridiculous here, this is like the only place I can rant abt things without being brushed off for other shit

Good night now!!! I need to stop pushing my sleep boundaries ugh

[theyanderespecialist]

Base Yandere 2p America Headcanons: His Doll (Hetalia)

[Hello, My Sexy Muffins! I am back with a new chapter! This one is with 2p America and I hope that you enjoy this chapter here!]

(Disclaimer 1: 2p America is not a canon or official character in the Hetalia universe. He is a fanbase made character and these are the main traits that the community has given him for the most part (Edited)

Disclaimer 2: 2p America is not yandere in canon, since he is a fanbase he can be made yandere, but for the most part he is not. This is just for fun and not to be taken seriously. Simping for fictional characters is fine! Just do not be illegal or gross about it! Yanderes are not ideal partners to have in real life. Also, remember to separate fiction from reality and headcanon from canon! Thank you! HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY!!!)

-Base Yandere Headcanons With 2p America From Hetalia-

.2p America is a punk and bag guy to his core, you could even call him the Villain.

.He loves baseball and LOVES his baseball bat that has nails in it and blood on it.

.He is a major flirt and he flirts with you a lot!

.Because you are the person that he loves the most.

.He would shamelessly flirt with you and hit on you, even if you turn him down every time he is not going to give up.

.Of course, if he is horny enough he will look for someone else if you keep turning him down and fuck them, just to take the edge off.

.He is a diehard vegan and would not take kindly to someone putting any animal product in his foods or drinks.

.He would not want to kiss you after you eat meat, saying that is gross, though he would still kiss you even if you did cause the urge to fuck his darling is more than his die-hard veganism.

.He would 100 percent be a bad influence on you, bringing out your bad side with ease.

.When he gets drunk he ends up drunk texting you asking why do you not love him.

.He is low key a needy little fuck that loves you so much and as a yandere, he is greedy for your attention.

.He wants to be the one and only person you focus on, he can get downright nasty with anyone that steals your attention from him.

.He has a huge temper and his yandere side would make him beat up anyone who checks you out and maybe even kill them.

.He would kill his rivals, after torturing them of course.

.He would beat them blood, dry, and then bloody again.

.Of course, he would do that to all his rivals because he is a sadist and unfortunately, that ends up dripping on you a bit.

.He can be sometimes an irrational yandere, in which if more guys are checking you out that he would blame you for leading them on and being a fucking tease.

.He might even punish you, or worse lose his temper and smack you with an open palm.

.That is because of his very bad temper and he has to work on it a lot.

.He would of course instantly feel so much fucking regret and spill you, we have to remember he is a 2p which means he is insane and a murderer.

.He would never actually want to hurt you outside a punishment and he would hate himself for it, but sadly it might happen again.

.This man seriously needs a whole bunch of therapy and anger management.

.He would also of course call you doll, dollface, babe, and sugar. (Yes even if you are a masc)

.He is the type of yandere that is so easily jealous that it is ridiculous.

.He also is the type of yandere that does not share.

.It is almost like you are his favorite shiny toy and there is NO WAY he is sharing with anyone.

.He may even lock your pretty little butt up. Making sure that you can never ever leave him and that no other man or woman or whatever (his words not mine) can even look at you, let alone take you away from him.

.He would confess over and over and over, with the most shameless flirting and most of the time saying stuff like "You wanna fuck!?"

.He really has no class, but finally, when he gets serious about it he confesses to you with all his heart and that is bad if you turn him down.

.If accept his love he will fist-bump the air and go "Fuck yeah!"

.If you turn him down, get ready for a bat with nails in it to your head, he is not taking no for an answer and is kidnapping your ass.

.Also he cusses a lot, so there is that lol.

[YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS another chapter is done! I hope you all enjoyed this and stay sexy all of my sexy muffins!]

[aroanthy]

thinking about kanae and her relationship with her parents and akio and his relationship with her parents and just like…. ideas about patriarchs and fathers and family in utena. and incest obviously. you know there’s something so horrifying about kanae’s situation, beyond the obvious fact that she’s not yet graduated high school and she’s being married off to a child predator who is using their relationship to levy more power over more children. and her mum. and the fact that we don’t ever SEE her dad. fathers in utena have, shall we say, the worst track record in the book. i have so many things that i want to say about representations of Adult Men in rgu and specifically representations of fathers but it all circles back to their absence and imitation.

like, okay. i think the only (non-silhouetted, ie Actual Flesh) father we see is miki’s, and even then we don’t see his face. similarly we don’t see kanae’s mum’ face though she too is a Flesh Parent. don’t even get me started on how the only two visual representation of utena’s parents are their coffins and graves. also don’t get me started on that One shot from episode 10 that i use in all of my amvs of the silhouetted kiryuu parents because as you can probably tell from my heavy use of it in my amvs, i find it a deeply fascinating shot. swagever. all of this is to say, dads are not In The Flesh in utena.

im excluding the movie from this discussion bc whilst im a diehard aou lover and would never normally eclipse it from my analysis like this, the choices it makes in representing touga’s father break with rgu’s typical stylistic choices in a way that i honestly think is less effective. that whole sequence is incredibly visually rich in every other way and includes symbology that is some of the most compelling in all of rgu, imho, but it’s like. gahhh. i know it’s an active choice to represent him as Just A Guy, and you could argue ‘well akio’s Just A Guy’ but it’s. it just irritates me. i don’t think it’s meaningful in the way that utena likes to be meaningful. id argue that seeing his face doesn’t contribute anything, but idk maybe i just don’t like looking at his horrible face. it’s probably just that but also im right it’s a lacking stylistic choice

rambling side note aside, i get to my actual point that i technically already alluded to: akio. akio’s not a dad but akio is positioned as a (pseudo?)father figure to (checks notes) anthy, utena, kanae (hey remember she’s what started this post lol), touga, id throw nanami in, you could probably make a tangential argument for miki and kozue, ruka’s an interesting one, and mikage (maybe??). this is for a couple of reasons. he’s the (acting) chairman of the school that all the characters i just listed attend, he’s the guardian/caregiver for three or four of them, and, fundamentally, he guides and governs their lives to the best of his ability (not in the sense that he’s trying really hard to raise these kids, in the sense that he’s trying to control them. lol). BUT. crucially. he is an approximation of a father, an imitation of the patriarch, even and especially to anthy.

why does this matter? well, funnily(?) enough it circles back to why i dislike aou’s choice to portray touga’s father as A Guy. the powerful men in ohtori— and when i say ‘powerful’ here, i specifically mean men who are not marginalised, men who are not racialised, men who come from money and have never had to reach the top of the tower, rather always resided at its summit— are not seen by us. akio is the acting chairman, the acting father, the stand-in who stood up for something that is altogether worse than him, that made him who he is in such an insidious way. and i just think that’s really fucking interesting to think about wrt his status as a brown man, being racialised, being The Thing That We See when everything else— the inappropriate vice principal, miki’s piano teacher, mr ohtori, mr kiryuu (anime version), even off-hand dialogue from shadow girls about adult men in positions of power like mr judge (papa! daddy! god!!)— is obfuscated and implied. and i don’t want to suggest that that’s an intentional commentary on the racist mythologising of brown and black men as innately sexually violent, because. It’s Not. and utena massively drops the ball wrt race, but because of that lack of explicit, intentional commentary, it creates this strange dynamic between akio, the only racialised man in the show, and Every Other Guy. and that’s a very long-winded way of saying ‘maybe poisoning mr ohtori was a good thing actually’

[in-death-we-fall]

Face To Face

Murderdolls

Fred Durst isn’t on their Christmas card list. But Angelina Jolie is…

Words: Daniel Lukes Photos: Scarlet Page

(google docs) Thanks @incredizort for sharing your collection!

Joey Jordison’s presence in glam-metal side-project Murderdolls was always bound to garner more than just a passing glance; not least because the exuberant drummer shocked everyone by deciding to make his post-Slipknot debut in stack heels and a whole lotta make-up. But since releasing their debut album, ‘Beyond the Valley Of The Murderdolls’, this summer, the horror-punk quintet have (sic) the past few months creating merry mayhem out on the road, rapidly building a colourful cult following in the process.

Today, the Murderdolls Roadshow has hit London – the Forum in Kentish Town, to be precise – and a group of diehard fans have gathered outside the venue to catch a glimpse of their heroes. For six diehard ‘Dolls fans, however, Christmas has come early. Louise Condren and her brother Michael, Michelle Peppiatt, Rebecca Brazil, Matthew Murray and Richard Williams are currently sitting in the venue’s upstairs bar, where they’re about to begin interrogating the glam-goth six-piece (sic) about subjects as diverse as drugs, Anjelina (sic) Jolie and, of course, a fat man with a white beard and red coat.

After hands are shaken and pleasanteries (sic) exchanged, there’s just one thing to do: get this party started…

Michelle: How do you feel about having so much success so quickly? Ben ‘Ghoul’ Graves: “We’re the hottest thing since sunburn, the greatest fucking band on planet Earth, so it wasn’t really a big surprise to us.” Acey Slade: “We’re doing something different. A lot of people are turning their noses up, but at the same time a lot of people are buying it. It’s like heroin.” Wednesday: “Joey’s had a lot of success with Slipknot, but it’s really weird for me, it’s kind of a new thing. To come to another country and there’s kids dressed like you, and imitating your whole thing, and they know every word to a song that you wrote in your bedroom when you lived with your parents, it’s such a great feeling.”

Matthew: Who would you most like to fuck on a cold Christmas morning Wednesday: “To fuck? On a cold Christmas morning? These are good questions.” Acey: “It’s a very generic answer, but I’d probably have to say Angelina Jolie.” Wednesday: “I’d say Santa Claus.” Ben: “Have you heard of a girl over here called Lindsey Dawn? She’s from the UK, she’s very hot.” Acey: “That’s not what you said earlier, Ghoul. You said for Christmas you wanted to find a midget in your stocking. That’s what you said.”

Richard: Whose roast turkey would you most like to carve this Christmas morning? Wednesday: “Whose what?” Acey: “Is that a variation of the same question? If it’d get me laid, I’d say Angelina Jolie again.” Wednesday: “I don’t know. I don’t know how to carve a turkey anyway.” Acey: “He only carves chickens. One time he carved a squirrel, for class.” Wednesday: “I don’t know. That’s probably the most difficult question I’ve ever been asked in my life.” Ben: “Hugh Hefner. I’d love to spend Christmas at the ‘Playboy’ Mansion.” Wednesday: “Of course you would.”

Michael: If you were the five wise men, what would you give to baby Jesus? Eric Griffin: “Drugs!” Wednesday: “Drugs and a couple of shots of Jägermeister. I’d like to breastfeed baby Jesus.” Acey: “I’d give him a butterscotch enema.”

Matthew: Which rock star looks most like Santa Claus? Wednesday: “Jerry Garcia. Michael MacDonald. You guys probably have no clue who that is.” Ben: “Who’s the one they said Wednesday looks like?” Wednesday: “Mortiis! Like a dead Santa Claus. Or maybe one of his elves. Rob Zombie looks kinda like Santa Claus a little bit.” Joey: “Cancel that. We won’t get that tour.” Wednesday: “He’s got his beard. I’d love him to bring me presents. That’d be the coolest Santa Claus in the world, bringing you shrunken heads and all that. Jellied brains.” Acey: “Or go-go girls, or a leather face mask.”

Richard: If you had Fred Durst hanging by his bollocks what would you do to him? Eric: “Nothing, I’d just leave him there.” Wednesday: “That’s pretty harsh torture in itself. I think we’d all swing on it to make it a little bit worse.” Joey: “We’d throw sliced ham at him.” Acey: “I’d pour honey on his nutsack, and then let ants eat it off.”

Louise: What do you guys think of the UK music scene? Wednesday: “Well, we’re a local band here now, since we’re always over here. It seems to be pretty cool.” Acey: “I like the music scene here better, truthfully. It just seems that people are a little bit more open-minded, you’ve got bands that a little bit older like The Wildhearts and we’ve always had good support bands like AntiProduct and The 80s Matchbox B-Line Disaster, who are really cool.”

Rebecca: How have your families taken to your career paths? Joey: “My parents have always supported me from day one. I’m still the same person, my mom still makes me take out the trash and mow the lawn. She lives in her Murderdolls and Slipknot gear. She wears it every day. She’ll go to the grocery store and these kids’ll come along and go, “You like Slipknot?’. And she’ll go, ‘Oh yeah’. Now she gets free groceries.” Ben: “My parents have always been very supportive of whatever I’ve done. I’m not going to sit here and say that my childhood was traumatic and I hated my parents and all the crap that other bands come out with, because that’s just not true.” Acey: “My mom’s very proud, very very proud of me. My dad, on the other hand, disowned me. So fuck him.” Eric: “My mom came to see us and she wore Devil horns.”

Matthew: What are the three most important things you take on tour with you? Ben: “Our make-up. Our clothes. And rubbers.” Eric: “Spoken like a true ghoul!”

Michael: Your songs are quite sarcastic, but are any of them based on real-life experiences? Wednesday: “No, not at all. I think the only song on the album that had any personal theme, was ‘Dressed To Depress’. The bands that I’ve always grown up on, I didn’t want to go to a concert and be reminded of the bullshit in my life, if I hated school or was angry with my parents. I’ve always compared our band to a TV or a movie or something, you get lost in it. Bands that keep singing about bad childhoods or trauma or politics, it gets old after a while.” Ben: “I think it’s more about escapism than real life.” Wednesday: “So no real grave-robbing stories yet? (listens to music playing in the background) Oh God, is that Nickelback?” Ben: “How would you know that? That’s bad that you know that.” Wednesday: “I know, I’m sorry.” Eric: “I think that there’s a lot of kids that really relate to us, and feel like they have a lot more in common with us than with their parents or their friends at school.” Ben: “Or Nickelback.”

Richard: If you weren’t making music, what would you be doing now? Joey: “I would just try to get as close to anything musical as possible, by being a tech or working in the studio. Music is the only thing I’ve ever wanted to do since I was really young – I’m just lucky I get to actually do it now.” Eric: “I think I’d probably open a strip club. A brothel or something.” Ben: “If I wasn’t doing music, I’d probably be doing something art-oriented.” Acey: “What do ghouls do? What is a ghoul?” Ben: “What’s a ghoul? That’s a good one.” Wednesday: “Don’t you rob graves and beat on poor people?” Acey: “I would maybe be a manager. I mean, I can barely manage my own life, so that would be kind of a tough one.” Eric: “In all seriousness it’s an impossible question to answer because music is more of a life than a job. Our whole lives just revolve around music. It’s part of who we are, so I can’t even imagine not being able to play music.”

Louise: What object will be on the top of your Christmas tree? Wednesday: “I have a Jack Skellington doll on the top of my Christmas tree at home. I always do that every year. I don’t want Santa Claus, or an angel, or a star or anything stupid like that.” Acey: “I got a fake tree that I’m going to spraypaint black. It’s one of the little ones. I’ll spray it in my apartment and get a buzz painting it.” Ben: “I didn’t have a Christmas tree last year, so I’m not sure.” Acey: “That’s because you’re a ghoul.” Wednesday: “What about getting the ghoul and painting him green and standing him on our bus. His hair is like pipe-cleaners…” Acey: “And he’s already got balls hanging…”

Richard: If you could be on an ideal tour, who would be supporting you? Wednesday: “I would love to have AFI support us. That’s probably the only band out right now that I can listen to all the time.” Acey: “Andrew W.K. would be pretty cool. He likes to party.” Wednesday: “We played a gig with Andrew in Japan and he’s a really cool guy and has a lot of fun and I really respect what he’s done and that would be a cool tour.” Ben: “The Donnas, but I think they’re afraid to talk to us.”

Matthew: If you could choose one person, who would you like most to resurrect from the dead? Wednesday: “Vincent Price. I’d just love to have dinner with that guy and just talk to him.” Acey: “Joey Ramone.” Ben: “Brigitte Bardot.” Wednesday: “(correcting his bandmate). Bardoo.” Acey: “Bardow!” Kerrang!: Brigitte Bardot is alive. Eric: “You fucking ghoul. I told you we were stupid.” Ben: “The one Anton LaVey had an affair with then – what was her name? Jane Mansfield.” Wednesday: “Next question!” Ben: “Yeah, let’s move on.”

Michelle: What would your ideal Christmas presents to each other be? Acey: “I’d buy Joey and Wednesday Les Pauls. The Ghoul? What do you buy a ghoul? Wednesday: “A box of magnums. I’d buy Joey a 12-pack of Corona with the lemons… All: “The limes!” Wednesday: “The limes already in ‘em. I’d buy Acey shares in Starbucks franchise. I’d get him a coffee-smelling kimono, or a fucking scarf, so if he couldn’t find coffee it (sic), he’d just inhale it.” Ben: “I’d buy Wednesday a big bucket of KFC.” Acey: “I’d buy him a chicken ranch.” Ben: “Actually, I lost my mind back in the summertime, I’d like to open up a present and get that back.”

Michelle: Acey, was it a strain for you joining after Tripp Eisen left? Acey: “You know you were asking what I would like on Christmas morning? Well truthfully, and for the first time in my life I really have everything that I want. And I’m not just talking shit – I’m in a band that’s gone around the world, that I love, I got a computer – so what more do I need? Some more ‘Nightmare Before Christmas’ toys! They hate me, by the way.” Wednesday: “I’ve known Acey for a long time, before he was ever in Dope or I met Joey. So, it was kinda weird how everything worked out. Us starting a band together was a long time in the coming.”

Rebecca: What is the most rock ‘n’ roll Christmas you’ve ever had? Joey: “I think this one will probably be the most, since with Slipknot, the band’s not heavily indulging in everything, and it’s not like the more free-spirited atmosphere I have with these guys. We’re playing a New Year’s Eve show in my hometown, so we’re just going to probably get drunk and get ready for the show. What do you think about that answer Wednesday?” Wednesday: “It was great.” Joey: “Thank you.”

[yeslordmyking]

The Real Captain Hook Disney Movie?

You know what Disney Live Action Remake (ish) we really need: Captain Hook!

Peter Pan was actually a phantom that lured kids to Neverland like the Pied Piper, made them forget about their parents and want to party on Neverland forever, and killed them when they grew up or missed Mommy!

But who wants to go home and get old when Jeremy Sumpter is whispering dreams in your ear?

Captain Hook was a child that escaped and becomes Peter's enemy because his childhood was taken away, and he tried to stop him from kidnapping and murdering more children. And the only portrayal of that story that I’ve seen that even comes close to touching Peter Pan's dark roots was Once Upon a Time! And Peter Pan was Rumpstiltskin’s father in that version! As a diehard OUAT time, the show should hold a huge credit for giving us the closest portrayal to the real Peter Pan that we’ve ever gotten. Even then, there wasn’t a real focus on the rivalry between him and Killian (Hook) since it leaned more into the father-son dynamic the show set up.

Robbie Kay did awesome btw, his Peter was chilling and absolutely none of my fondness for the Disney version carried over, I hated this kid's guts!

(Oh yeah, disclaimer before I go on: no I’ve never seen Robin William’s Hook, I was too young when it came out and I never got around to seeing it, so that one’s probably good, but I’m not sure how it potrays Hook, please don’t kill me hehe)

Disney is probably the biggest influence of making Peter Pan known as a mischievous cutiepatootie that just loves to have fun, and doesn’t want to become an adult because he thinks you can’t have fun anymore as an adult. And I totally adore that version of him. Unfortunately, Disney decided to make Hook into an incompetent bumbling buffoon (which I do get in a sense because essentially he was ripped from his family at a young age and never really got to grow up and mature in a conventional sense, get his full education etc.) But, man he was no match for Peter at all! If Peter Pan is supposed to be so difficult to best, it should be because he's a clever quick-witted trickster, not because his opponent is so pathetically dim-witted and easily defeated! It takes away from both of their characters a little. We're supposed to believe Hook become a captain of anything by any other means than "the least dumb pirate so captain by default?" Really? This man lives on a *boat* and jumps into his crew's arms when he hears a crocodile or octopus nearby!

Bruh! You're a pirate! 😐

Granted he has clever moments like consoling a dejected Tinkerbell and getting her to reveal the Lost Boys' hideout, and in Return to Neverland he (almost) successfully manipulates Jane into trusting him. But even then, it's doesn't take a ton of sharp wit to use a child's naivety and a recently scorned fairy's notorious jealousy against them. Not that I've tried.

But anyway, if Disney wants a remake idea that isn’t note-for-note from the animation, showing Captain Hook’s side of the story a-la-Maleficent I think would be a good move, showing that Hook really was the good guy all along. Give him actual leadership skills, nautical knowledge, swordsman skills, etc. Play around with the balance between holding onto your childhood and developing maturity, go into origin stories about Peter having a terrible relationship with his mother and choosing to leave her for eternal youth in Neverland, vs. Hook having a wonderful mother that he misses every day, and his childish tendencies are because he was ripped from his mother's care before he was able to learn how to face fears like losing your hand to a crocodile. Maybe Hook sacrifices his childlike innocence and loses the ability to use pixie dust and escape Neverland because stopping Peter from doing the same to more children is more important than his return home. Let the bitter irony of growing up being both the only way to defeat Peter and reason Hook will never see his mother again callous over his innocent young heart and make him more and more pirate-like out of desperation to escape, and he starts letting things slide that used to keep him awake at night-like nearly leaving Tiger Lilly for dead in a cave filling with water- because the end justifies the means: Hook had to defeat Peter. That boy took his mother away from him, and anyone who stands with Peter-Tinkerbell, mermaids, three Darling children who have trusted him- is the enemy. Fuel Hook's rage towards Peter because they'll never see eye to eye on loving the people who raised you, and the absolute frustration of everyone in Neverland being in love with Peter, and the unintelligent band of swashbuckler thieves are his only aid in bringing Peter Pan down. Hook dances on a line between noble cause and pure revenge, until eventually, the other pirates offer him a leadership position: Captain. This authority will be the death of his youth, ensuring Hook is trapped on Neverland forever, but this way, Hook is the only way there will be no more Lost Boys and no more innocent children crying for their mothers before Peter kills them.

Maybe show children viewers that the world doesn’t always works as Kids vs Adults like they think. There are good adults and bad kids, and a live action Captain Hook that harkens to the orginal folktale could be a great way to be more original with the live action adaptations this time around. I don't know, I'm just tossing ideas around.

I know Disney just dropped Peter Pan and Wendy, so making Peter the villain is probably nowhere near becoming an idea Disney would consider creating, but hey, I can dream. And I really don’t mind seeing Peter as a immature yet lovable scamp at all. I just think Hook’s story would be a good way to give Disney fans something more original. With the exceptions of less popular Peter Pan movies and shows, Hook probably, and what I think 2015′s Pan would’ve tried to do if it wasn’t too bland to get a sequel greenlit (man I would’ve kinda loved to see Garret Hedlund as full fledged Hook and not prequel cowboy Hook or whatever was going on, none of that movie made much sense regardless.)

Many many adaptations have chosen not to stay true to the source material and pander to kids because “Kids Rule!” (sorry that sounds so 90s, I’m a milennial!) so maybe this can give Disney something creative and original to give to fans who don’t feel that’s what they’ve been getting from Disney lately.

[irlbkgs]

✍️🛌💘🎞️💌 for the ask game! i know it’s a lot so feel free to skip any you want :]

✍️: Overall, how does the fandom treat you? Are you a beloved character, or hated? Are you popular, or a minor side character? Anything in between?

for nicky, he'd probably be polarizing. people would either love him or hate him. he's very loud, he talks a lot, he's a sarcastic prick and quite frankly he's not really good at anything survival wise. he was born into a rich family in vermont, he maybe went fishing once or twice as a child and he knew how to cook bc he moved out at 18 and lived the college dorm life for a couple years, but he's no good at fishing regardless and his cooking was mostly ready made meals or pantry staples. eventually (probably around prison era) he'd get more useful but at first people would probably find his constant talking and his all bark no bite (bc even if he will throw the first punch he cannot fight for shit) attitude annoying. he'd probably have a small subset of people who really relate to him tho cause even if he was rich he basically never saw his parents, he was verbally abused whenever they were around and he has the most obvious audhd and bpd known to man. his fans would be diehard for him until he eventually became more useful and people stopped hating him so much.

for kennie, it really depends. if emma was still in gen v and still played the role of like. finding sam and taking care of him, people would not like kennie, she'd def come out of left field and ruin that ship. if emma wasn't there or played a different/more minor role and was just like sam's best friend, then people might still prefer that ship, or maybe even ship all three of them, but kennie would be liked as a character even without the two. she's very hard headed and argumentative which would cause people to like her less, but she can be very doting when she wants to be. she's a bit of a control freak and she definitely mother hens those she cares about but it all comes from a place of love.

🛌: What tropes show up in fics involving your ship?

for irvixon it'd be hurt/comfort, domestic fluff and miscommunication. nicky can't communicate for shit and daryl cannot fucking stand it even if he's also not the best at communication.

for samken it'd be hurt/comfort (again), sick fic, fix-it fic and fluff. everyone loves seeing sam get hurt what can i say?

💘: Why would people love your ship? Why would people dislike your ship? How might it start debates?

irvixon is def controversial for the age gap its like 20 years give or take depending on what age people see daryl as since he doesn't have a canon one but is at least 40 in the early seasons and 50 in the later with nicky being 24 at oldest in s1. besides that there's the obvious issue of caryl which is understandly popular and connie/daryl in the later seasons which has its appeal. and besides that nicky and daryl just have very different personalities, ways of acting and communicating, they have very different motivations, etc, etc. it's very much opposites attract but that doesn't appeal to everyone 🤷‍♀️ the people who get it GET IT tho. nicky has wanted to jump that man's bones since the cdc and then developed a crush during the farm era and he does not give up on flirting with him even when he starts to think daryl will never reciprocate. he's like so obsessively in love it's sickening, he follows him around like a lost puppy and listens to his every word when he won't listen to anyone else. and daryl has always had an obvious soft spot for nicky, he's like if a baby deer was also 6'3" and had no volume control or brain to mouth filter. daryl's always gone out of his way to protect him, at first just bc he knew he was weak but eventually it was just instinct and he didn't know why but he needed to keep him safe. at some point he realizes it's because he sees nicky as a safe, constant presence in his life, somebody who won't take bullshit from anyone and will tell him when he's fucking up, but will also let him fuck up without abandoning him.

samken might be a little controversial just bc it's sort of the born sexy yesterday trope (and thats on the show not me!!!) and kennie is like, obviously the dominant one in their relationship so people might take that as her taking advantage of his nïavity but it's like. literally not that deep like he's an adult who knows what he wants and she's literally just helping him have a normal life for the first time since he was a child. all she wants is for him to be safe and to see a therapist and get some meds but she also really loves and cares for him regardless. she really just wants him to be happy and healthy, god forbid.

🎞️: What ‘canon’ scenes would the fandom point to as evidence for the validity of your ship?

irvixon would have a plethora bc nicky really is like a puppy just helplessly following daryl and trying to get with him. i think ones that would stand out would be nicky staying with daryl after andrea shoots him and just playing nurse, daryl carrying nicky over his shoulder on multiple occasions when nicky gets too close to getting bit (man's just runs in and scoops him up like it's no big deal even tho nicky is so much taller), nicky getting the flu and daryl going crazy over it or them moving in together as soon as they get to alexandria.

samken would have a lot less moments given the fact that there's only 1 season out of gen v at the moment but they'd still have some small ones. kennie would cook for sam and then try to teach him as she weant, sam would sleep like a baby with his head in her lap like halfway through watching movies together on his first or second night hiding in the dorms, they'd go shopping together once or twice and she'd give him the most ridiculous disguise. stupid shit like that.

💌: How would your dynamic be portrayed? What might people focus on most? Any misconceptions?

irvixon in the early seasons is definitely giving damsel and prince but in later seasons is just. kill for each other. the dynamic would def shift from silly and simple, something born from nicky's desires but also lack of abilities, to more deep and founded on trust and bloodshed. people probably focus way too much on nicky being really forward with daryl and how he seems desperate at times and not enough on how daryl thinks its funny and endearing before he starts to reciprocate and then he just gets really blushy and embarrassed about it. he doesn't know how to respond to genuine flirting when it's someone he actually wants to be with.

samken is portrayed a lot like hmm...wife guy meets girl who gets what she wants, when she wants it. sam is head over heels for this kind of bitchy, demanding girl who's half his size but could still rip off his head if she really wanted. he's not used to being around people who can both match him ability wise and can tell him what to do without triggering him but she does it in just the right way to where he feels safe and protected. i think people would focus on how she tells him what to do frequently and just completely ignore the fact that a lot of the time he needs that structure. sure, she can be bossy, but if he told her to stop she would stop. he likes being told what to do tho, at least when it's simple things that just help him with routine and stability which is what he really needs. kennie helps him remember to take care of himself, helps him get to bed on time, helps him remember to shower and brush his teeth, get dressed in the morning, eat regularly. sure, a schedule can't fix all his problems, but it can at least help him feel more put together and lessen some of his symptoms while he's unmedicated (cause imo he probably has a lot of comorbidities that would get worse if he just didn't do the basics)

[aeymii]

Also imagine the trio ending up in the grand meetup of the other Komas and their ship clubs. And because he's a protagonist in his verse, and has so much ship teasing going on with like a quarter of the cast, Protag!Nagito has doppelgangers on all sides insisting that he join their club.

Matsukoma Nagito: "You're not one of those Mikan-loving Komaedas, are you? There's only one truly worthwhile medical partner. Even if he's dead in your verse, Yasuke is irreplaceable."

Protag!Nagito: "Now wait just a minute! I'll have you know that Mikan is a lovely person, and a very dear-"

Komamiki Nagito: "ONE OF US! HE'S ONE OF US!"

Protag!Nagito: "Wait, wait! I didn't say that-"

Matsukoma Nagito: "You didn't say that you weren't either. Well?"

Protag!Nagito: "I...But..."

Roulette Nagito: "Hold the phone! We saw footage of that hotbaths scene with Gudham. You seemed to be quite enjoying yourself there."

Protag!Nagito: "I was just really happy to be included as one of the guys!"

Soumaeda Nagito: "Kaz was there too!"

Roulette Nagito: "...What if he's in a poly relationship with Gundham AND Kaz?"

Soumaeda Nagito: "Ooh! I don't think we've had that combo yet. Or maybe with Gundham, Kaz, AND Sonia. He seems to get along very well with her too."

Protag!Nagito: "What?! No, you've got it all...I mean..."

Komazumi Nagito: "Oh come on. We've seen you've had some cute bonding moments with Mahiru. No one can smile quite the way she does. And those freckles!"

Protag!Nagito: "Mahiru...is important to me. But this is all so very sudden!"

Komanami Nagito: "NO! Stay loyal to Chiaki to the very end! Even if it means waiting until the next life!"

Protag!Nagito: "Aargh! Leave me alone!"

All the while main Nagito and Nagiko are just laughing in the background eating popcorn. Just to be clear I treat main Nagito and Protag!Nagito's OTP as "Insert preferred ship here". It could be Komahina. Or it could be something as wild as a resurrected cyborg Yasuke for the Matsukoma diehards.

I do also have this one idea I've mused about for Nagiko's flings. Generally speaking she actually doesn't hold the many Kamukuras of the multiverse in high regard. Feeling that the novelty wears off fast, as once you've met one Kamukura, you've met most of them. Channeling Stillwell from the comic The Boys and thinking like "What have you thought of to do that the lowest speck of humanity couldn't, were they to be granted your level of power?". Being especially unimpressed by the ones that try to assuage their boredom by joining Junko or doing something else she considers equally dull and unproductive.

But there are exceptions to that. Like one Natsumizuru that she took a fondness to. Who had a bit more of a spark in her than a lot of other Kamukuras did, and channeled her talents in more productive ways to stave off boredom. I have this one mental image of Nagiko trolling main Fuyuhiko by not-so-subtly implying she had a thing going on with an alternate superhuman version of his sister. Being all like "Man she was rough, if I didn't have a reinforced skeleton that girl would have demolished my spine."

Komas unite for real HAHAHA, EXACTLY like, the protagonist always gets the best ships in this franchise!! I can't even pick a favorite Saihara ship- I have like 4 favorites?!?!

Nahh Koma's not gonna defend her- I WILL DEFEND HER!! WHADDYA SAY TO MIKAN PUNK?! hehe, Go Yasuke lol, YEAH TELL EM PROTAG- ONE OF US AHZDVA IM DYING HAHAHAHA THIS IS HILARIOUS!! Y'all calm down maybe he's a Matsukomamiki something haha!! YOOOO HE'S EXPOSED 💀💀💀💀 GET EM GUYSSSS‼️🗣️ AND KAZUICHI WAS THERE TOO!?!? EXPLAIN YOURSELF BWAHAHAGA

THIS SHEET EPIC!! AND SONIA'S THERE TOO LOL<33 poor PROTAG he can't even catch a break, that's crazy!! GET HIM Y'ALL!! IMMA GRAB THE POPCORN 🍿 🍿 OMG Mahiru smiling?!?! That's a rare one and she's so adorable<33 HAHA GO KOMANAMI NAGITO!!

AND THEY JUST LAUGHING IN THE BACKGROUND LOVE THEM!! I agree!! FOR DA KOMAHINAS!! AND THE DIE HARD MATSUKOMASS AND ALL THE KOMASS THE SHIPVERSE LOL!! YEAH Nagiko slayy queen!! She don't give two sheets about Izuru<3 yeah it wares off after a while I mean there's like the whole different versions around, she don't care about nobody hahah love the girlboss NATSUMI I MISSED HERRR YASS, OOOO SHE HAS THE HOTS FOR HIS SISTER?! go women yayy OOOOOO this is just pure epicness I LOVE IT YOUR IDEAS ARE SO GOOD MY FAV ANON, have some cookies!!!! 🍪🍪

[bloomingdead]

“I was kidding about being a ship hater but I also want to blast Ereloy fans with my eye beams and insult their favorite character character by calling him ugly.” Whatever, dude. If you want to remain toxic and bitter, that’s on you.

bruh took everything i said out of context and harped on my ugly erend joke (he is). i do wanna blast u diehards w my eye beams!!! gtfo of here! erend is still one of my favorite characters, and he's obviously the closest friend aloy has at this point (maybe other than her sister but imo they're still working on bringing closeness to their relationship).

people really seem to think that because i find shipping him with aloy inappropriate, and you guys greasy for doing it, that i must hate him. i don't. he's charming, with a way about him that's hard to ignore (himbo energy). he tries his best to be there for the people he cares about and loves super hard. he's great at public speaking and rallying people to his cause, whatever that may be in the moment. he's incredibly loyal to his job even if that means bending avad's requests to fit what he deems most important in the moment. plus avad respects him so much that he doesn't care!! and his underlings on the vanguard will NOT let go of the crush he had in hzd, to his humiliation as we see the confrontation with aloy followed by his drunkenness at barren light. he has good taste in music, the soul of a metalhead, and a heart of gold. he lost his sister as aloy came into his life, and there's every context clue to show that this crush fizzled out as he came to respect aloy more as an equal. he said something along the lines of "i thought i was a bigshot talking to a pretty girl from a tiny tribe... now i see i was lucky just to get a minute of your time" and the ereloys takes this as some proclamation of love when to me and many others it comes off as a transition within their relationship towards mutual respect and appreciation.

let's be real about who's truly bitter. you old bitches who keep trying to ship aloy with a man at least 10 years her senior, or those of us who just want to enjoy the game for what it is without diehard shippers telling us what was literally written into the story by its creators is wrong. just because he's age appropriate for you doesn't mean it's okay that you project so much onto aloy that you can't remember she's at most 20yo. or the contrary, you're so fuckin young that you can't see how inappropriate it is because they all seem like old ass adults to you. it just gives "you're really mature for your age" vibes. ew. not to mention, as one of my lovely anons did, that this spike in hetero ship content for aloy happened AFTER seyka was introduced. >inb4 "a BiSeXuAl WoMaN iN a ReLaTiOnShIp WiTh A sTr8 mAn Is sTiLl QuEeR" bffr, as a (now out&proud lesbian, i must add) woman who's dated hetero men in the past, does that man know he's in a queer relationship or consider it to be one because his girl is? in the case of erend and the nuances in his character which are intended to relate to a type of man we all know, (that you guys bulldoze with your hc's,) fuck the fuck no. most cishet men don't.

this is the kind of discourse we get when fanon becomes more important to people than what's literally written into the story. i love erend! yeah i am a little irritated that people started popping their horussies out for their favorite (hetero) ship after we got a canon (GAY) romance in the game. if you guys had any critical thinking skills/media literacy, you'd have gotten the point by now that even if aloy isn't a lesbian, she's never going to end up with your favorite male character. you'd also understand why the gayshippers are irritated with you guys doing this in the wake of homophobic review bombing. because now we know aloy is capable of romantic feelings and no one but seyka has brought that side out of her so far. you can call it bad writing all you want, it's my opinion vs yours. doesn't change the direction the series is going in terms of aloy's romantic future.

[randomguyonline71]

As someone who was once a diehard romione person (both on Tumblr and fanfiction) and now more of an anidala/hinny/Jily person I think I know why romione hasn't aged well or why alot of romione shippers don't ship it anymore. This is just my observation/opinion and not fact. I'm also not anti romione but just neutral on them now.

I think rereading the books especially starting in book 4, you start to notice that it seems like JK Rowling favors Hermione alot over Ron This has been theorized but people think it's because she is JK self insert. Some think it's because of Steve Kloves influence over her and he is a notorious harmony shippers who made movies. I think people compare say Percabeth from Percy Jackson series where they are very similar to romione but, they are written as more balanced. Now this idk if I agree on but some say they feel like JK made Ron dumber as books went on to make Hermion/Harry look better.

Another big issue is the Hermione hitting Ron aka trope of woman hitting a man is ok. If it was reversed, I can't imagine the outrage. I know lots of previous romione fans who are now very anti romione because of this. It just doesn't sit well with alot of people for obvious reasons. This would be the one thing I think would have to change if they ever redid them into tv show

For me personally, it comes down to, I just think hinny is personally a more healthy dynamic and i'm also a sucker for childhood crush ends up turning into mutal love (anidala really helped me start to love hinny/jily)

That is a very interesting take. Thank you anon :)

I have always seen them as this old married couple in 11-year-olds. Which I always found adorable in some way. But I do agree with some of these, especially the physical abuse part. I don't think it can be excused, since hitting someone is always a shitty thing to do. And as someone who have been physically abused in the past, I'm 100% on Ron's side.

But for me, it isn't enough for me to not ship them. If it had been a common thing in fanfiction as well, I would maybe have been thrown of the pairing totally. Luckily, it is not. However, I totally understand anyone who don't ship them for this reason.

If they ever did a remake of the series. Hermione hitting Ron would be up there with the things they should do different. Number one would still be fixing Ginny, so she is more than just Harry's future wife. Because she was so much more in the books. In the movies she was just there so that the epilogue would make sense. I will never forgive Steve Kloves for that.

I know I haven't mentioned it on here. But I'm also a big Jily shipper. Childhood crushes turning into to mutual love is also one of my favorite tropes.

[vixnovacoda]

Doctor's Medicine || Chapter 6

Hannibal Lecter x Original Character

Word Count: ~3.5k

CW/TW: NSFW 18+, graphic, disturbing content, dissociation, canon-typical violence.

[Chapter 1][Chapter 2][Chapter 3][Chapter 4][Chapter 5]

[ao3 version here]

Doctors prescribe all sorts of things for all sorts of ailments. Packaged with various side effects and tried-and-tested rules. The first hard rule: never mix medications. Never under any circumstance. There are no exceptions. Not even for the tired, mist-plagued, lone-drifting author who did so regardless. Well, Emma never found fitting in an easy feat, anyway. Rules were for blending in, cooperating. So was medication. Dull the mind, dull the self. Float down the stream instead of up it. 

Therapy, medication, and self-medication (work). Individually, they worked.

Combined? When desperate times called for it, what was the worst that could happen?

Whatever the result, Emma didn’t care.

Pills and water.

She wanted normal.

Swallow.

Whatever the high cost, she’d pay it.

The plastic white cap twisted close. The acrid taste still present in the back of her mouth as gravel crunched, thought-out steps approaching her side. “I see we’re medicating. After what Crawford did, I don’t blame you. Mind if I join in?” hearing no reply, the blonde-haired associate took her non-verbal response for agreement, cementing his boots to the stone. Not that she could argue or move elsewhere without being rude (it didn’t help that at this late evening, there was nowhere else to go in this secluded home than the driveway). “So, what’s your poison?” queried the usually friendly Thomas while reaching into his pocket.

“Saphris. Courtesy of the good Doctor Hannibal Lecter.” Pills rustled as the declared bottle shook before returning to Emma’s bag. “Yours?” she returned, matching his tired energy, and a flame whirred to life, lighting the chemical-filled tobacco tube placed between Thomas’ teeth.

“Marlboro nicotine. Courtesy of Gas Station Attendant Stu.” Wisps of lung-clinging smoke exited, followed up by a long effortless drag. Ash curdled at the cigarette’s end in contemplation. “Asenapine, mood stabiliser. Maybe I should get Dr. Lecter to give me some too,” he puffed, releasing the mused on comment, and Emma – realising she knew little about the man – doubted he was a patient of his. The clenched jaw, tensed hand; the tells of dislike. Clearly, if anything, they were associates. Hannibal being the coworker whose presence you tolerated because you had no other choice. He admired the work ethic, but not the man.

Side-eye. Testing waters. “Your current habit not working for you, then?”

“That’s just what smoking is, a habit. A little thing that feels a little bit good.” Unchecked displeasure rose from cracks in his voice. “You have to have many to feel anything,” he stated, like it was a revelation he had already discovered. White flecks flew about with each avid hand gesticulation. Neurosis – or plain tiredness. Hard to tell. It was the same for Emma, except she didn’t smoke (disliked it ever since Alex made her try, and it clogged her lungs akin to saltwater). She wrote and worked and therapised, and that just felt like enough. Thomas probably did something similar, but it felt as if he had cracked the code. He fitted in, and the list of what habits people such as them could have ran through her brain. She wondered, toying with ideas.

What did he, the father of a presumed daughter, the crime scene investigator, the diehard La Belle Mort fan do to feel normal?

Under moonlight and the glow of a cigarette, plain clothed Thomas Fowl held a thousand possibilities. Harsh water-coloured eyes saw a million terrible fates. Laugh lines told a billion stories about thinly smiled joys. The dried bright flakes on his hand led to one thing.

“You paint?” Emma conferred, registering the paint’s signature cracking.

“Oils, when I can.” Thomas lifted the nauseating hue under the light. “Allows me to shut out the troubles of the world and attune myself. It's almost like this primordial sense,” said he, admiring the red colour with a thirst. He couldn’t get enough of it. All artists were like that, she supposed.

“The Detective in La Belle Mort said something similar.” (By proxy, so did she).

He stubbed out the half-finished cigarette. “So I recall. You know, her paintings, the colour descriptions, her quirks, the little details. It's what makes me think she's been behind all the cases she solved.” A new spark lit on uncharted waters. This was his biggest habit; his thing. He shared that in common with her fictional character.

“You think she's the killer?”

“Well, she is a killer. Is it not a possibility?”

Emma let a smile emerge. He was very like her indeed. “Wouldn’t want to spoil anything,” she diverged, hands up to claim no part.

“Course not. Then again, the trainee thought the same in The Bone Church until she got shot. So perhaps I'm wrong or you're tricking us.” A sly crease tore the stitches of his mouth and he regarded her as he did to the paint, in admiration. Her character impressed him.

“Who knows,” she said.

Rubber tires trampled the driveway gravel. Blinding headlights turned Emma’s attention as its point of origin pulled up. The black Land Rover fitting in at its old home. The ever-tired, yet presentable Marcus, with his classy frames and slicked hair, sat at the wheel. Her ride away from this corrupt place.

The corruption reeked and tainted everything inside. That’s why she had chosen to wait outside. Its rosy, muscle-textured mould spores condensed into her lungs like a Marlboro cigarette. She didn’t understand how Hannibal or Will withstood it. Both left behind, fermenting, while Emma headed further and further away. It didn’t seem to bother Thomas either. In fact, deep under the flesh layers of discoloured tiredness, he appeared thrilled.

“And Thomas,” started Emma, turning around, “the Detective, her obsessive behaviour cost people their lives. I hope for your sake and your child's that the same doesn't happen to you.” With those daunting parting words which she recounts as a hard-learned truth, she climbed inside the tinted car. The disproportionate car door closed behind her, and a strange taste lingered ever still, one she isn’t sure will ever go away.

———

Diving. A jump of calculated faith. 

Above water, the jump was a flying motion towards a perilous destination, wind buffeting against wingless arms causing that strange sickness to form. Gravity pulled and hastened in a sense more akin to falling. And the faith was hope. A hope that the impact wouldn’t crush her bones, as that deep smooth film of liquid got closer and closer and closer, tearing apart. 

Under the water, salt seeped through gasps. The cold surrounded puckered flesh, pleasantly calming and full of tantalising pain. The dive was no more than a dip, a soak. Ocean sunk into skin that pruned after each passing minute; no more could it absorb.

Her head bobbed along the surface, silence filling the air and an empty horizon bled across the water and what once was blue was now a dark crimson. The water on her face dripped like blood as, all the while, a figure loomed on in the distance. Familiar in shape. This place, familiar in feel; she’d been here before, and what should have felt eerie and off-putting felt neither good nor bad.

Just… nothing.

A maddening calm, nothing.

———

“This silence. I find myself needing to apologise,” said Dr. Lecter.

Emma ran a finger over a shelved red spine. “Whatever for?”

“Jack Crawford. You,” he said, watching her on the mezzanine from his designated seat, “are punishing me for not stopping Jack Crawford sooner.” Not once had she looked at him since entering his office at the dead of night. She refused to face him.

Her words: distant. “Punishing? No.”

Off in his own thoughts, fluorescent lighting casting an odd shadow over him, Hannibal glanced aside. “I’ve come to expect your silence. It’s admirable. As a society where words hold worship, your words contain power and you choose with care when and what you say during moments forced upon you.” His hands folded over each other in his lap. “But you arranged this session,” he added as all the clocks in the world, mental and physical, ticked closer and closer to the midnight hour. They had been here for the course of an hour, most of which was occupied by that bewildering silence that, otherwise, he would not have allowed, not especially at this time of night and with how she had put great distance between them, despite the compulsion compelling otherwise. She was here on her own accord, after all. 

So, perhaps the punishment was for pushing her too far, too soon. “If I harboured resentment or dislike, my punishment towards you would be more on that holy scale, not the wordless kind,” said Emma. Truth be told, Hannibal could think whatever he pleased and still miss that the punishment wasn’t for him, but for her. Around him she felt an urge – she always had, except now it bled visibly before her eyes – which caused her to redraw a line in the sand. Simply put, it was easier to distance herself from him like this than to stop altogether. She enjoyed the ease he gave her. “Our session before was cut short, and I couldn’t sleep. Somehow, I thought this would make me feel better,” admitted she, toying with the book’s spine.

He motioned for her to continue, and though she couldn’t see it, she could feel it in his lack of speech.

“My thoughts, as of late, have… tasted different.”

“Expanding our palettes, are we?”

A fleeting smile graced her lips, playing along to an inside joke she wasn’t privy to. “It tastes foreign. They’re not my own, yet I’m aware I’m the source.” She scrunched her brow as the words freely flowed forth with a sporadic rhythm. “Isn’t that maddening? Because the idea that it doesn’t is driving me mad. And maybe that’s why I’m here instead of resting, or writing, or talking to someone, anyone else.”

“Lest the unprepared see something they shouldn’t.” His calm cadence washed over her like a wave, calling to her to breathe.

And breathe she did, thoughts coalescing as she spoke. “Lest they find a reason to cast me away.” A breath for what she said was true. Had anyone other than Dr. Lecter knew what he did, they would do just that and drug her up. She was sure Agent Crawford sat at home right now, questioning what option better suited him: her in a padded cell or freely out and about, investigating.

“I wouldn’t let them do that,” stated Hannibal so matter-of-factly it took Emma aback.

“Are you saying you’d lie for me?” she looked over her shoulder at him.

“I’m saying I’d be truthful,” he said with an earnestness present in his manner, “as truthful as a recent disciple has been.”

“Honesty is a blessing.”

“A blessing I receive in fluctuating abundance from yourself.” Collected steps crossed the floor. He stood below her, shadows distilling his familiar figure as he followed her to the ladder. “When we are silent, we deny the truth and betray ourselves. You came here, seeking my counsel to expel a truth. So, while under the cover of the night’s dark grace, let’s be honest. A noticeable difference occurred midway through your explanation of the body to Jack Crawford,” he said, eyeing her whole. “What happened?”

She glanced at her shoulder, the memories resurfacing. “I… was overcome by flashes of the past,” she answered before meeting his steady gaze. “I got too close, spotted something in the pit. A recreation I’d recognise anywhere; a replica; a shoulder joint, fractured and perfectly placed; the mirrored image of an old gunshot wound.

“People assume The Detective character in La Belle Mort is based on myself. Very few are aware of the truth – Alex, my former editor, being one of them. She was there during my trainee days, when I stuck my head in places I shouldn’t have and got shot and scarred. Forever a reminder about the dangers of getting close to things I shouldn’t.” She thought she’d have learnt that by now since the last time, but old habits were hard to kill. She never should have written that story and never got involved. The phantom pains struck for a reason. “Still feel it occasionally, I guess,” added Emma. Even now she could still feel the stabbing guilt Alex drove through her stomach. Pain was everlasting, she concluded.

Hannibal saw the way her face twisted at undisclosed thoughts and how she tried to brush it off, but, after all the silence, he wouldn’t halt this development. “When you were shot, how did it make you feel?”

More silence. A mere few seconds. “Betrayed.” Hurt.

“And how do you feel now?”

Emma traced her fingers along the wavelike grooves in the bannister beside her. “Strange. I feel simultaneously like myself and not. I’m afraid and calm. I am both here and… somewhere else.”

A hand rested on the ladder’s side, testing the line, yearning for more. “What do you hear in this other place?”

“Waves, lapping against a boat. The sea breeze air. It’s quiet. It’s.” Her hand stopped as their eyes locked with each other in the shadows of their faces.

“A peaceful memory?” asked Hannibal like he knew her thoughts, like he knew her on some deep level she wasn’t aware of, and perhaps he did.

“Yes.” Emma sat a few steps down on the ladder. “Not happy, just peaceful.” Their eyes dilated and merged, dark waters searching for more of that easeful darkness. An understanding formed. The self-imposed distance closing, as they were eye-to-eye. This was a habit, Emma realised, that she didn’t mind repeating; it was akin to letting herself go free to graze in an open field where she didn’t bother to check for hungry predators. If he was to be her downfall, then so be it; oddly enough, she did not mind, for a part of her trusted him enough to believe he wouldn’t. 

And he didn’t have to prod for more, not verbally. His words slipped into her mind like they were her own, asking to know the memory, and the words that left her were his to take. “The ocean was the only place my father and I would happily occupy together. Though we never did anything there together. He’d fish, and I’d sit. He’d reel his hook, and I’d listen to the waves. He’d gut his prize, knife glistening red as he bled the meat and mutilated it. I’d taste the salt on my tongue, watching as parts were slashed and entrails exposed. There, I am calm. Here…” When she blinked, the image shifted. The red-tie-donned Hannibal Lecter replaced the man across from her, and the meat became a larger flesh carcass, and an office light switched out the moon’s bulb as the small boat drifted without paddle or engine. Here, she was calm. “I don’t know why,”

“Well,” began Hannibal, waves lapping at the sides of dark wood, “water makes up a large sum of our bodies. The purest form of ourselves. The truest reflection mankind can ever find that allows us inside; to submerge ourselves in the deep ocean’s melody where waves call. Our beginnings and ends are a familiarity the ocean recognises. It homes them as the water in our bodies does, and there is a calmness in being understood.” The body between them laid still, mimicking the shape of the doppelgänger – no, the body was her, Emma. A bleeding, alternate version of herself laid between the Doctor and his patient while curiosity bent a minute slope in his spine. “Or perhaps, you already knew why.”

Blood covered her hands, a familiar substance in a familiar pattern; artistic, morbid and twisted. He was right; she did already know. “La Belle Mort.” An echo followed her utterance, The Beautiful Death. She had followed it her whole life, from that moment of gutting fish to gutting autopsied bodies, fictional and real. Others usually found her disposition strange because they did not understand – they were right, nonetheless.

Breathing in the still air of reality, Emma combed her clean hands through the red waves on her head. “You must think I’m strange,” she said, an awkward smile reaching her lips.

“Quite the contrary, by my understanding you seem normal,” declared Hannibal and he held out a hand to help her down. Those wild strands of hair delicately caressed his forehead, and the shadows of the room twisted him into a deadly, tempting visage. Cruel; otherworldly; like shadows she could never touch, not for long anyway. Wanting what you could not have. Is this that divine punishment she earlier mentioned?

A flutter beat against her chest. This was not like her. “Must be the medication.”

“Or the therapy.”

“Or the therapy.” Yes, the therapy, she thought. After all, what was the difference? Therapy is a form of medication, and he – being around him – was her medicine. She could not get enough of it if she tried.

She took his help, and as his hand cradled hers, she pondered what the next big wave that came to rock the boat would be. There would always be more, and someone will end up drowning, as they always did in these christened waters.

But on that night where darkness hides secrets, not another wave would hit.

———

The morning, however, would later arrive on rough waters.

Sleep was a calm ease, and Emma should have realised then that morning when walking through the halls of the labs what loomed nearby; it is always quietest before the storm. Her tiredness erased. An early coffee in hand. Running on the highs of the previous night's medication, she couldn’t have been any less aware as Beverly saddled up beside her. “Someone seems different today,” she stated.

Instinctively. “I’m fine—”

“—fine?” finishing her sentence simultaneously, Beverly cocked a joking brow. “Relax, I’m not here to psychoanalyse or fangirl like Fowl.” 

Emma couldn’t tell if that was supposed to make her feel better. It almost didn’t, but Beverly came across as a genuine carer – she just wasn’t used to it, from Beverly that is, made a nervous chuckle escape her lips. “Sorry, I’m usually better at this socialising stuff after my coffee,” said Emma.

“Long night, huh?” queried Beverly, who looked like the spitting image of a person acting on little sleep. “Can’t say I blame you after the way Jack yelled at you. But if it’s any consolation, since he won’t admit it, we never would have found the second body and our first lead without your help.” She gave her a playful nudge, careful not to cause a spill on her white lab coat. The praise was nice and not entirely true. Eventually, they would have got there. Beverly had been the closest to figuring it out (carpets did hide secrets).

“Believe it or not, it didn’t bother me that much. I’m used to it. So, no, I overslept, hence the,” explained her, taking an immediate regretful sip from her cup. Sour, pure bitterness – she should have known then; another omen when what’s usually heavenly is ruined. “… ugh, shit coffee.”

“Coffee pot down the hall?”

Grimacing, Emma nodded.

A curled lip. “Figures, next time you’re not late, I’ll show you something that’s actually safe for human consumption.” Anything would bound to be better than the liquid crap she continued to gargle down her throat, though having someone familiar with the area would garner better results than Emma ever could. And in a wordless acceptance of the offer, she mirrored the pull of her lips, drawing her own smile. Genuine in cadence, hesitant in the execution – after Alex, she wasn’t sure if she could handle her or any other associates, Hannibal Lecter included (his want to help her was an addiction. Too much of him, and she’d overdose). A friendship like theirs was hard to untangle from. Being entwined with someone so deeply cuts and scars when one has to leave, and Emma didn’t want to get hurt again.

A chill ran over her, heeding an incoming storm.

Less than aware, with an adrenaline pep in her step, Beverly led Emma to the crowded lab room and spoke over her shoulder. “Anyway, I’d say you got here just in time. We found a DNA match. At first, I thought we had a natural blonde, but it turns out she’s a brunette.” 

Brunette. She should have known right there and then, as well, put the details together and seen the obvious warnings. Dark grey were the warning clouds obscuring all light overhead. Don’t, warned some deep sense. Don’t look. Don’t ask.

But it was too late as she stood in the doorway.

“Who’s the match?” Were the words that would have left her. Instead: spilt liquid; the crashing thunder of a cup replaced any sound she could have made as her eyes met those familiar too-good-for-this-world hazel eyes stuck on the board, widening at the brown-curled, amber-skinned visage. Lightning struck and paralyzed her.

The woman – the suspect, the victim; the DNA match. Emma would recognise her from anywhere.

Alexandra Bennet, but to Emma, she was just Alex.

[knickknacksandallthat]

how did jean know to look for that photo of kevin on the dark web? did he suspect something or did he just come across it? how soon until he was on the plane? what was his thought process? how mad was he at the foxes? i'm sorry but i have so many questions 😅

ooh, but they’re all very good questions!! And sorry that I haven't been able to answer them sooner! Okay, doing a quick bullet fic this time so we can knock these out 😉

(Spoilers for Dead of Night fic - read at your own risk!)

Jean hangs up the phone with Kevin and feels his stomach sink.

He knows something’s wrong.

(He could hear the pain in his voice, the way it lingers like the last haunting note of a Stradivarius in an empty music hall.)

And it’s not just him – even Jeremy seems to think so. 

“Kevin is sick?” he says.  “Kevin never gets sick!  Like, I’m nearly 99% sure that’s not even possible.”

Then his nose scrunches up a little (which Jean secretly finds adorable)

“Well, except that he did sound really sick.  His nose was completely stuffed.”

Or broken, Jean thinks. 

(Copper burns in his throat as he swallows, swallows, swallows, trying to gulp enough down just so he can breathe.)

But there should be no reason it’s broken.  The Foxes’ last game was Friday, and Kevin had no serious injuries to speak of. 

Still. 

Still, still, still. 

It could be from one of the Foxes’ ferocious practices.  The chaos that happens during those still appalls and bewilders Jean.  A broken nose would hardly be unusual for that rabid crew.  But Kevin has never been a victim of such “accidents” before – not with Andrew there.

(But then Binghamton happened.  Then Andrew’s leash broke.  Then he turned on Kevin and the shocked striker was left with nothing but purple welts indenting pale skin – a violent signature marking the end of their verbal contract.)

((Kevin should have known such a foolish promise could never be kept.  He should have known, and yet it does nothing to temper the cold anger that seeps into Jean’s bones whenever he pictures Andrew’s yellowed, tobacco-stained fingers wrapped around Kevin’s neck.))

So maybe this is nothing.  Maybe he really is sick then.

And yet.

(He isn’t – Jean knows.)

It’s just a gut feeling.  Another peculiarity in a line of odds and ends that haven’t been stacking up recently. 

He can’t prove it, but he knows something’s wrong. 

(It’s not the Moriyamas.  It can’t be, can it?  There was no reason, no word.  And Josten would have told them something if it was them). 

((Oh fuck, it could - it could be them.  It could always be them)). 

(((But on a side note, how the fuck did that lying, mouthy brat become the spokesperson for the three of them when both Kevin and Jean know the Moriyamas’ customs inside and out AND can speak fluent Japanese?  Absolute bullshit)))

So he starts searching.  He hunts online for something with just a whiff of truth to it.

He finds nothing.

(Maybe he’s wrong?)

((He’s not.  He can’t be wrong.  But just in case…))

He finds the places online that Riko and the guards used.   Dark, terrifying, and illegal places that Jean wants no part of. 

(Places his family used to use.  Places that the Moriyamas run.)

((But for Kevin, he’ll use them.))

And there he finds it. 

A hate thread dedicated to Kevin, manned by old, diehard fans of the Ravens.  Obsessed, overzealous, and nearly psychotic patrons who were devastated by Riko’s death, by Tetsuji’s “retirement”, who swear the news of its insane practices were nothing but a cover-up.

(They’re not wrong, but...)

The post is from the last seven days – some asshole who gloats over finally taking down the “Queen.”  It’s literally titled, Checkmate, Bitch.  And Jean’s heart stutters to a stop as he scrolls down and finally sees the pictures. 

(Fuck there’s so much blood.  And swelling.  And bruises.)

((Where is his hand – where is his hand – where is his hand???))

(((Can he play?  He has to be able to play.  They have to let him play.)))

((((Jean will do anything to keep him alive.))))

But still, this could be fake.  Some wannabe with a Photoshop license and a sick but creative mind. 

So he whips out his phone and calls one of the people on this planet that he most hates talking to. 

(Unsurprisingly, it takes five attempts before the fucker answers.)

“What the fuck do you want, Moreau?” is Josten’s vicious reply when he finally picks up. 

(If it were anyone else, Jean might feel bad that it’s two am their time when he’s calling.  But it’s Josten so…he does not.)

“Kevin,” he immediately snaps back. 

“What about him?”

“How is he?”

“Sick,” Josten reports.  “Down with the stomach bug since Tuesday.”

Jean looks down at the post and sees the date.  His stomach sinks. 

“You’re sure?”

“Said so himself,” Josten grumbles. 

This gives Jean pause.  “Said so?” he repeats.  “He is not with you?”

Now Josten is the one who pauses.  “No.”

“Then he is at Abby’s?”

Again, another silence.  “No.”

"Wymacks?"

"No."

“Then where is he?” Jean demands. 

“Sick in his own room,” comes the answer. 

Jean rolls his eyes at the nuance.

“Since Tuesday?  For seven days he’s been sick, and you don’t find that odd?  What have you been giving him?”

This time, there’s no response.

“Stop playing games,” Jean snaps, irritated.  “If he is in your dorm room and you are taking care of him, then just say so!”

The silence is longer this time.  Jean can just make out faint voices, as if Josten has held the phone away from his ear to speak with someone. 

Ah, right.  Minyard. 

(Asshole.)

He waits another five seconds before he growls into the phone, “Josten!”

Finally, the redhead returns.  “I haven’t seen him.”

This does not make sense to Jean.  “Since when?” he demands. 

“Since he got sick.”

“Why?”

“Why do you want to know?” comes Neil’s suspicious answer. 

And that’s when it finally hits Jean – Neil doesn’t know.  Apparently, Kevin must have told him he was sick, just like he told Jeremy and Jean. The only difference is Neil believed him.

Now, Kevin has somehow managed to do a disappearing act, quite possibly licking his wounds somewhere in private.  Like an injured animal, vulnerable and afraid, he must have hidden himself away so he can try to heal.    

But Jean can’t know this for sure because Josten can’t tell him.  Because the redhead doesn’t know.

Jean swears, loud and viciously into the phone.  “Because, once again, you are an ignorant child who has no idea what’s happening around him.  Congratulations, Capitan, on your unending incompetency.”

Then he hangs up the phone before throwing it across the room in frustration. 

“Jean?” Jeremy asks, stumbling out of their room all sleep-rumpled.  “What’s wrong?”

They’re on a plane in less than two hours. 

Jean is infinitely grateful, once again, for Jeremy’s calming influence.  Whereas he can feel a maelstrom growing inside him, a storm of such rage and blinding fury he can barely see straight, Jeremy is the one who sweet-talks the airline employee into letting them on the next flight.  He’s the one who grabs Jean’s hand and lowly talks to him about their last game against Penn State as the plane takes off.  And he’s the one who calmly fills out the forms and grabs the key for the rental car. 

As they drive away from the airport, getting closer and closer to PSU’s campus, Jean feels the words which have been so tightly locked up in the crevices of his jaw finally begin to loosen. 

“If he is hurt, I will kill them.”

Jeremy doesn’t blink at the first words Jean has said since they left USC.  “We don’t know what happened.”

“Why didn’t they call us?”

“Perhaps they don’t know what happened.”

“And why wouldn’t they?  What possible excuse is there for them not knowing that he was beaten like a dog and left lying on the pavement less than half a mile away from their dorm?”

Jeremy’s mouth flattens.  “We don’t know for certain that was real yet.”

Oh, but Jean does.  The feeling in his gut grows stronger the closer they get to PSU, like a beacon homing in on its target. 

Jean closes his eyes as he sees the campus appear in the distance, the Foxhole Court looming in garish orange and white.  “For his sake and theirs, it had better not be.”

Jeremy doesn’t answer.  But his foot presses down on the pedal, speeding a little faster toward campus all the same. 

We are coming, Jean thinks silently, calling to Kevin as if he can hear him.  We are coming, mon caneton.  Just wait a little bit longer.

[iwozlegit]

B and R?

fandom meme: come at me friend.

Answering

B - A pairing you initially didn’t consider but someone changed your mind

|| 🍍• No one has particularly convinced per se on any ships, but just this incredible fandom in itself. It’d have to be a tie between Wheeljack and Ultra Magnus and Optimus Prime and Ratchet. For starters, my immediate perception of Wheeljack and Ultra Magnus was that they were very stark opposites, like oil and water or the opposing ends of a magnet. I didn’t see any inkling that they could work like that initially. Wheeljack, for the most part, detests not being in control, and Ultra Magnus hinders that for him by being such a prominent figure of authority. It makes sense to me that when Wheeljack was unloading his “commanders don’t like to get their hands dirty” speech to Bulkhead about Optimus, he was subtly relaying his aggravation about Ultra Magnus as well. Maybe some part of his initial aggravation comes from a backwards thought that the two commanders had ‘taken’ his most trusted friend from him during wartime. Obviously this isn’t the case, but I feel Arcee was digging there when she confronted Wheeljack about his ‘strop’. Anyways, I feel this tension that they have is really interesting, and it most certainly changes after their heated run-in with Predaking. From that point, their dynamic shifts. They entertain working together rather than against one another, and Wheeljack appears sympathetic to Ultra Magnus who initially struggles to adjust to his new ailment. They essentially come to accept and respect each other, and that growth, though small, does way too much to me and my shipping hell. Having the no-nonsense, by the book commander relaxing and letting someone else drive for a change. I’m here for it so much honestly.

And then there’s Optimus Prime and Ratchet…ok. I’m going to come clean, like I’m a diehard Megop shipper. They’re literally, for me, intense starcrossed lovers and it’s bittersweet Urgh delicious. But Optiratch, I’ve come to learn is also gorgeous. And the show saw fit to hit us right where it hurts, especially Ratchet’s sorrowful line: “I didn’t return to save a life, only to lose the one I care most about.” They care a tremendous amount about each other, and heck they’ve known each other for ages as well. Look how overjoyed Optimus was to hear Ratchet safe and well when he’d been taken from him them. Look how enraged Ratchet got when Megatron implied the past didn’t matter, or when Optimus was on the verge of death from the cybonic plague. The potential is incredibly evident. I feel though, like how I’m a glutton for angsty unrequited or unfulfilled Megop, I’m also that way about Optiratch. At least for the most part. It’s either the whole Ratchet pines after his leader and oldest friend, but knows Optimus’s uneven emotions surrounding the opposing factions leader and so remains respectfully silent, or the notion that Optimus can’t bring himself to enter into anything with his chief medical officer because he doesn’t want to lose another dear close friend, or (I’ll be less angsty and nice) someone just points out the small things they do for one another are totally what you do for a romantic partner rather than just an ‘old friend.’

R - A pairing you ship that you don’t think anyone else ships

My ultimate rarepair at the moment would definitely have to be Wheeljack and Knock Out. Two very different characters from initially two different factions, who end up, in the end, on the same side. They don’t even talk in the show/movie at all! It’s a learning curve I think. My main and probably sole reason for this ship in particular is because of a wip fanfic I have that occupies the post-Predacons Rising world of Transformers: Prime, in which, without saying too much, they acquaint each other? We have Wheeljack, a mech who still not exactly overly fond of being a family man in Team Prime out of years of habit, and Knock Out who is struggling to adjust into ‘Autobot’ life and new big responsibilities after stepping away from all he’s known. A concoction of falling into old habits and entertaining some new ones. They’re not the main characters within the tale but they have an interesting story arc which I’m super excited to share soon :) Because who doesn’t love a guilty pleasure polar opposite rare pair?

[nothingunrealistic]

The series finale for “Billions” was always meant for the diehard fans of the long-running Showtime drama. At “first blush” it’s a relatively happy ending. Relationships aren’t irreparably damaged and nearly every fan favorite character ends up as rich as they’ve always been. But series co-creator and executive producer Brian Koppelman encouraged TheWrap to “close our eyes for a minute and think about it.” By the end of “Admirals Fund,” Bobby Axelrod (Damian Lewis) is exactly where he started, an obscenely rich man behind a desk barking orders at his underlings to make him more money. “Is that a happy ending? Or is that an inevitable ending?” Koppelman asked. “Is that him accepting the limitations of who he is?” “In ‘The Sopranos,’ people get killed. In our show when people get killed, they lose their money. And some people make more,” series co-creator and executive producer David Levien joked to TheWrap. The finale of “Billions” makes a point of showcasing a satisfying ending for every major character. Yet so many of those endings feel like an inevitable return to the beginning. Axe returns to become head of his highly successful hedge fund. Chuck Rhoades (Paul Giamatti) ends without his wife but with his true love — investigating white collar financial crimes — by his side. Even the disgraced villain Prince (Corey Stoll) has an ending that feels inevitable to his character, vowing to return with even more money and power. It’s a cycle that mirrors the very commentary on cycling money and power “Billions” has commented on from the beginning. Very few characters have truly grown by the series’ end. The exceptions are Wendy (Maggie Siff), who distances herself from not one but two toxic and powerful men in her life; Taylor (Asia Kate Dillon), who leaves this cutthroat culture behind to found The Taylor Mason Foundation; and Bryan (Toby Leonard Moore), who gets a redemption arc after his stint in prison. “Maybe Ryan and Taylor have a chance to end up the best of themselves,” Levien mused. Constructing these endpoints that at once felt surprising yet inevitable was of the upmost importance for the creative team, a lesson taken from Quentin Tarantino. Levien and Koppelman likened the final season to a beloved ride. “If you’ve written a rollercoaster a couple of times, you start leaning before the turn,” Levien said. With that ethos in mind, from the midpoint of the season on the team dedicated the final episodes to “really serve” diehard fans. “The characters have been on the show for a long time. I think they’re less lonely than they were at the beginning, less isolated and more connected to the world,” Koppelman said. “That, in a way, is a happier place for them to be.” Yet, by the very nature of this show, a “happy” ending for the obscenely wealthy comes at a heavy cost to the rest of the world. “We all live in the same country, in the same world. As Americans, we all make this mistake over and over again, in our real lives, of putting our faith in people who have amassed these large sums of money, even when we have movements against it over and over again,” Koppleman said. These figures fascinate us and we become “engaged in their fight for success.” “Our question, the whole time, has been what drives someone who has everything to need everything, plus one more? And why are the rest of us compelled by that? What’s that journey standing in for us?” Koppelman said. “Is it God? Is it royalty?” Koppelman noted that Netflix’s “The Crown” does “an incredible job” of exploring these questions as well. “We don’t have a monarchy in America, and politicians don’t really serve that role. So what we have are billionaires,” Koppelman said.

[crazybigredlove]

12th November 2013

Dear Pete, 

There's this really weird saying that floats around on the blogs of teens and people in their early twenties (shut up. You left me on my own, how I choose to pass the time is my business. I am a diehard Tumblr fan now and I will not apologise for it) about how if you think about someone often enough you're bound to bump into them again some day. Now, you know that I trialled the Law of Attraction and it had less clinically applicable and reliable results than, say, the laws of gravity, but today I saw the first evidence that it may be real. And I shit myself a little. 

You're intrigued aren't you? My unparalleled ability to build a climax has sucked you deep into the storyline, am I right? 

Actually, in hindsight, once again I've probably distracted you by writing something much more filthy than what I was intending it to sound. Noted. No more climaxing or sucking or getting in deep. 

It's been a while. 

Lunch today, out and about and in desperate need of fresh air but instead strolling the crowded aisles of the department stores down at the mall, when who should walk past but a pregnant Lisa! Seemingly less happy to see me than others might have been, I didn't bother inconveniencing her with conversation and instead opted to try and walk past with my head down. My rule about not having any interaction with anyone who has feelings for someone you've had a sexual encounter with or a romantic inclination towards is still firmly in place. Unfortunately Lisa either doesn't share that view or she isn't aware that one or both of us has/had feelings for Will. 

"Olivia!" She barked from across the crowded room. Frozen to the spot, my head whipped side-to-side as I searched for an exit or some sort of valid escape but, as this is my life, there wasn't one. "Lisa!" I called, with the same volume but much less aggression. "Wow! Look at you. I hear - and see - congratulations are in order." Beaming with fake sunshine and rainbows is making me feel proud given that mostly I want to pull her hair and tell her to stay the hell away from my man. 

Maybe Lisa isn't feeling the glow and warmth radiating from me because her tall, lithe frame (now with a mid-section protrusion that most certainly was not there the last time I saw her) is marching towards me with the hostility of an undefeated, invading army. "Stay away from my boyfriend," she hisses through clenched teeth once her face is within spitting distance of mine. 

"Wha?" Ability to pronounce 't' now lost, I stare at her blankly. 

She couldn't be, is she? No! He would've told me! Wouldn't he? 

"The Czech?" "You can call him whatever you want to call him, but stay away from him. Slut." Turning on her heel she storms away as her long, blonde hair swings behind her. 

Huh. 

I want my own rainbow. That way when I'm sad or people are mean to me I can whip out my rainbow and be like, "Bow down, bitches. That's my rainbow. Do you have a rainbow?" And in that moment they'll feel that I'm superior to them and for once it will be me that they're jealous of. Although, now that I think about it, that may not have improved the situation or made it sting any less. 

Slut? I haven't even had sex with him. Sheesh. 

Liv x 

[nazukisser]

➥ request; childhood friends with izumi, jun, koga {req}

➥ pairing; sena izumi x gn!reader, sazanami jun x gn!reader, oogami koga x gn!reader

➥ tags; fluff hcs

➥ word count; 1,010 words

➥ message from qian; well then. maybe i am a clown. combining 2 reqs cuz theyre both childhood friends. and im sorry kogaps he's a little difficult for me rn v_v

✦➤ Izumi says that he hates it when you can see right through him, but really, he wouldn't have it any other way. It's something that takes a little getting used to, and you'd gotten used to it back when this attitude had started. He doesn't even bother arguing with you often; he knows that his words will come out false and you'll be the first to point that out.

✦➤ Izumi tries to input that "tough love" onto those he loves, but he really can't with you. Having gone through many years with him, he really doesn't feel the point doing this for you. He feels that you understand him and that you already know what he's going to say before he says it, so every time he tries to say something, he remembers that maybe you'd uno reverse it onto him.

✦➤ He mentions you a lot subconsciously. He doesn't realize how much he talks about you until Arashi points it out. He still says he doesn't mention you that much, but at this point, all of Knights have noticed. He doesn't realize how much he connects everything in his life to you, and it's been happening for longer than he could remember. His way of thinking has always been like this, and somehow, you're always in the back of his mind.

✦➤ Whether you want it or not, Izumi always gives you merchandise of himself, from items sold by Ensquare to items sold by the various modeling jobs he's worked for. They've stacked up in your room at this point; if anyone visited, anyone would think you were a diehard fan who collected everything Izumi. Not that you didn't love looking at Izumi through his merch, but what was better than seeing the real, live man himself? Nothing, really.

✦➤ When asked why he likes you, he can't even give a coherent answer. He doesn't know why, but he knows that he loves you and there are so many things he'd do for you alone. You're a necessary part of life for him, one he didn't realize at first but has come to realize is so crucial to maintaining the life he lives now, and he simply can't put that to words for anyone.

✦➤ Jun doesn't quite trust anyone as much as he does you. It's a trust built over more years than either of you can clearly remember, and him telling you what he's thinking about is almost as easy as breathing to him. There are times when Hiyori is curious who Jun's on the phone talking to all the time, but there is never a time when he guesses that it's you on the other side of the phone that he's wrong. Jun doesn't really like admitting it too much, but his tenseness of formal speech simply evaporates in a mystically gentle manner away as soon as he talks to you. It's a phenomenon no one, not even the members of Eden, can recreate.

✦➤ It took a bit to notice at first, but it's actually quite easy to tell which manga character he's admiring the most at the moment. It's easy to tell which manga he likes the most- he mentions it quite a lot when talking to you especially at night when he's reading the new chapter as it's come out. He also starts to act just a little like the shounen protagonist just a little, though never really noticeably. He's still always distinctly Jun regardless.

✦➤ The way he tells you about all that happens in his life- it's thoughtless. It's a habit that he's created for himself, even before he realized how much he loves you. He usually prefers to keep matters for himself private, but he can't help but feel that he can tell you anything, just like he can think to himself. To Jun, you're like oxygen, always around him and necessary to life, although you may not always be there physically all the time.

✦➤ The members of Eden already felt like they knew you well when you met them. Not that Jun talked endlessly about you, but they could see the things that Jun had picked up from you over the years, and perhaps the opposite as well.

✦➤ When he comes home, there's a peace he cant feel anywhere else. It's something he's felt he's always had, but only recently he's realized how important it is to him. Because he's so busy with work all the time, he rarely ever has to have quiet time to himself. Whether it's practice or lives or fan meets, or dealing with other idols even when his energy is completely drained, it's always refreshing when he gets home. The tenseness drifts away, and there's a time he can finally rest.

✦➤ The electric guitar from years ago wasn't meant to be so important to him. It was meant to be just a little birthday gift that'd make him happy for a while, something you thought that maybe he'd like for a while but probably get over after some time. But he didn't and he held onto it for dear life, and you didn't understand why. Perhaps it was because he truly loved playing the guitar, but maybe it was also because it was from you.

✦➤ Contrary to first impressions, Koga's made your life easier for so many years now that it's hard to pry him from your life. He's always been so eager to get things for you, and maybe it seems like too much to other people, it was a gradual thing that he realized he loved doing for you, and he wouldn't have it any other way.

✦➤ If there are two kinds of beings who make him smile easily, it's you and dogs. He's so popular with them, but he's so popular with you too. You never fail to manage to make him smile, even when he feels like he isn't helpful. He loves snuggling up to you and kissing your cheek, smiling ever so brightly.

₊·͟͟͟͟͟͟͞͞͞͞͞͞➳❥ ꒰ ⌨ ✰ qian ⁱˢ ᵗʸᵖⁱⁿᵍ··· ꒱ | ೃ࿔₊•

messages recieved!

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