#or maybe they just really don’t like my art

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Would I be the asshole if I refused to pay my phone bill?

📱🧾♿️ <- To recognize my post for later :)

The title is probably already a bit of a red flag, but I genuinely didn’t know how else to word it…

For context: I am a disabled, chronically and mentally ill trans guy who recently turned 20. I haven’t left home yet for a lot of reasons, some being that my parents promised to let me live rent-free so long as I was in college (which I am, just not currently for the summer) as well as the fact that they really haven’t raised me to be very independent and rely solely on them (which is honestly a whole other can of worms), but primarily because of my disability. It isn’t safe for me to live on my own, as I faint commonly, cannot stand up for more than maybe fifteen minutes at a time roughly, and sometimes am unable to eat for long periods of time due to debilitating nausea which leads to weakness. I also have severe chronic pain in my limbs and gut, something I’ve had most of my life, while my chronic illness I’ve only had for about a year and a half now and am still struggling to adjust to.

Because of my disability, I also can’t work a traditional job. I offer art commissions online, because I’m very passionate about art and it’s one of the few things I’m good at, and I haul in a decent amount, but certainly not enough to live off of. I make enough to set aside some good savings (I’m currently saving for a wheelchair, as that might grant me more freedom and the potential to get a job at least for the summer) while also indulging myself in buying the occasional fatty treat (I’m very underweight so that’s not an issue, and I was raised essentially in an almond mom household all my life, so this form of eating is really the only sense of control I have over my life, as I’m fully dependent on my parents elsewise).

The issue has come upon relatively recently. I feel like a huge entitled brat for it as well, and if others believe the same, I sincerely don’t blame you.

My mom sat me down the other day and said that she expected me to start paying at least one bill. She offered my cheapest bill (which would be for my phone; my parents bought it, and it’s theirs, they’re just letting me use it as my own.. I don’t own a whole lot of “my” items myself) and asked what I thought about that. I was fully honest with her: if I had a steady stream of income, I wouldn’t hesitate to offer to pay for all of my bills, but with the way it stands, I just don’t make enough month-to-month to regularly afford the bill. I also do my commissions through my phone, so if I could afford the bill, my phone would be turned off, and I’d be unable to continue.

My mom got very upset and started talking to me like a child (though she really has every right to, honestly, and I know that). She went on a very long rant about teaching me responsibility, and how I can’t rely on my parents forever, and that I need to grow up at some point… All things that I fully agree with. I sincerely want to! I want nothing more than to be fully independent. But the way it stands, my parents cover my entire medical bills and they pay for my meds… And I just don’t make enough to survive on my own, and I can just barely afford a meal or two from a sandwich shop I enjoy twice a month to keep my sanity in check because I’m usually bedbound.

I tried explaining to her that I would if I could, sincerely, and that I’m not trying to be a leech or lazy, but she wasn’t having it. She just scolded me and said that if I can afford to eat out every month, then I can afford the phone bill. But again, with the way things are, I don’t think I’d be able to do it every month without tapping into my savings, which again, is for my wheelchair so I can regain some sense of freedom for myself. I’m seriously debating just telling her no straight out, but I don’t know what the aftermath might look like…

So, sincerely: Am I in the wrong here? Should I just swallow my protests and cough up the money somehow? I really don’t know and would love an outside perspective.

[homunculus-argument]

hey there! this sounds like a bit of a silly question, but as a trans guy, you’re one of the few trans people i’ve been following almost since i joined tumblr, so based on your other anon ask and answer i figured i’d pop in and ask if you have any advice? if you want to answer, ofc :) — i foresee this being a bit long, so i totally get if not

so i’m also a trans guy, but i haven’t been able to take any steps toward medical transitioning before since i live with my parents. but i’ll move out soon, and i still can’t decide if i should take any of these steps even once i do. i’ve never felt like i particularly wanted to medically transition (i don’t really care about how my body looks + i’ve never really cared about changing any of it), but i would like to be seen a guy — i don’t mind if not so by strangers, but maybe so by like, my friends. but i can’t help but feel like i’d be laughed at for wanting that — i’m not naturally androgynous or masculine looking to others and i have never been mistaken for a guy, because i have really long hair, d cups, and curves. and without medically transitioning, i also kinda feel like i’m… betraying the trans community, since i’m not really putting the effort into my transition and so i’m just ‘pretending’, even though i do know i’m not.

so my question would be: as a trans person who has transitioned, socially and medically, do you think people are more understanding than i think they are currently? do you know of any trans people who don’t want to medically transition, and do you think it’s possible to live fulfilled that way? or even: do you think it would be easier for someone like me to just live a lie? i usually tell people i’m a lesbian, because they definitely would not look at me and assume ‘straight guy’, but also, as a trans person who doesn’t want to medically transition, i’m just always worried that i won’t be taken seriously. i feel like your experience of being trans and probably interacting with the community is much more than mine, which is why i ask this last one — i would try being open myself, but again, i’m still living with my parents unfortunately.

I'll be honest I don't actually really know much "community" save for former art school classmates. I've only known one trans person irl who chose not to medically transition - at the time, Finland's trans law was still shitty and required sterilisation for legal sex change, and all that. She didn't want kids or anything, but refused to engage in the process as her own little personal civilian protest. I don't want to paint some caricature picture of some Sharp Dommy Tall Scary Goth Trans Anarchist, but I was deeply impressed by the way she didn't do a single thing to try to seem smaller, softer, or in any way submissive or docile to be ~feminine~ the right, socially accepted way.

She wasn't just taller than most men but usually the tallest person in the room, and she stood out in a crowd of cis women like a crane in a chicken coop - a bird just as much as they are, but a different kind of bird. And I remember thinking that I could never do that, being so unflinching and unhesitant about standing out in the crowd because assimilating and muting yourself is beneath your dignity.

Honestly, I don't know what to tell you about being openly trans without transitioning medically, save for that it takes more guts than being able to just go stealth. I had physical dysphoria about the way my body was, and was desperate to get top surgery just for the sake of my own physical comfort, and I like the convenient anonymity of being able to just be Just Some Guy who doesn't attract anyone's interest or curiosity.

It's a smart move to not come out to your parents before you're out of their house and not relying on them for anything - this is something everyone should use their own judgement for, but I stress it to every queer kid to not take the risk if there's any chance that they'll react poorly while they still have power over you. But living your whole life in the closet - "living a lie" is a good way to put it - will corrode you from the inside.

It's better to live in peace with yourself and against the world, than in peace with the world against yourself. There is absolutely nothing in your power that you could do to change the minds of people who have already decided that they don't respect you, and if they try telling you that they would, if you only met their approved criteria, they are lying. That's bait they're dangling in front of you, and there's no "earning" the respect of such people.

Stay true to yourself and be good to people, and you'll have the respect of people who are capable of respecting you. Don't waste your time and energy on people who won't respect you, every thought and effort you spare them is wasted on them.

[klmp11s]

Hello! Hope your requests are on! I was hoping you'll do my request (M reader)

First years where they were having a ruckus and broke one of the reader's favorite and proudest paintings (ripped and wood broken in pieces) COUGHACECOUGH. They tried to hide it but sadly they had to show it. Reader tries not to show any hard feelings against them because it's an accident but they were really devastated because their hard work was basically thrown out of the window but they try not to show their sadness to a painting! It's a painting, it doesn't matter at all obviously! They've been spacing out and their mood is slightly down because of it but yk they try not to show it :3

HELLO BB, SORRY FOR MAKING YOU WAIT SO LONG 😭😭I loved this request so much.(English is not my first language, sorry for any mistakes)

Summary: The first-year students accidentally broke a reader's painting Characters: Ace Trappola, Deuce Spade, Jack Howl, Epel Felmier, Sebek Zigvolt Warning: male!reader, slight hurt/comfort? I'm not sure, it's mostly soft, ooc(?), (the boys themselves draw a painting for you)

Ace Trappola

Lmao this request was totally for him He is literally sure that now you will not talk to him. The moment when he broke the picture: his heart stopped for a moment and he just looks at WHAT EXACTLY broke with the thoughts that firstly, he will be killed, and secondly, he will kill himself, when he sees your upset face When instead of swearing and arguing, you just quietly say something like “it's just a painting, Ace, it doesn't matter.” He definitely feels worse than if you yelled and kicked him out. He definitely doesn’t believe everything you say like “it’s okay/you can go, I’ll clean everything up/don’t worry so much.” He sees how your hands are shaking, you know? He cleans everything himself. Seriously: boy won't even let you touch the broken frame. After that, he almost runs to his dorm to ask what he should do. Like, he just broke that thing that you kept so carefully and admiringly told and showed him how to make amends? They literally give him a plan with point by point advice so that he doesn’t ruin anything. 1. Bring you a gift to replace what he broke. He definitely wasn't thrilled with the idea of painting you a picture with his own hands, but it would still be fair. Effort for effort, understand? 2. Apologies. From the bottom of his heart, with words through his mouth, so that you can see and HEAR that he is very sorry and he really didn’t want this to happen. 3. Don't put pressure on you. Give you time and not pry into your personal space, you need to think about everything, right? 4. Next comes action based on the situation. No matter how crookedly he got it, he definitely painted you a picture from the bottom of his heart. Well, now you just need to apologize, right? … Okay, this is a lot more complicated than he thought. What should he say? “please forgive me for breaking your most beloved, dear, beautiful painting that you spent many hours on, I’m very sorry”? He doesn’t know at all how to choose the words to make it right. As a result, he decides that the apology can be sorted out as the situation progresses. Literally as soon as he crosses your threshold, RIVERS of words and sentences flow from his mouth. With one hand he pulls the picture towards you, and the other frantically waves it in different directions. You can literally hear him begin to choke while he non-stop tries to apologize to you. Eventually, he stops talking and holds out his hand with the painting and looks at you. The longer the silence lasts, the more he thinks he did something wrong. Maybe you didn’t want to see him, but he almost burst into your room? Could it be something even worse? Then he hears you quietly giggling. Okay, super, great, that's a good sign. His eyes are glued to your face and he sees how you look at his “painting” that he painted for you. It's not so bad, you're even surprised. Okay, maybe art from the heart really does matter. You carefully walk past Ace and he watches as you carefully hang his painting in the place where your painting previously hung. Okay, OKAY THAT'S definitely a VERY good sign. Okay, now he sees your sly look and understands that now he will have to explain himself about the new love language. And perhaps someday in the future he will receive one painting especially for him?

Deuce Spade

Please, he's so sweet, I'm sure he caused a cauldron that accidentally flew into the wall. 😭 But now, he is literally in PANIC when he sees that it is not a vase or something else that has broken, but YOUR FAVORITE PAINTING I'm not sure he would try to hide it because he would literally try to put the pieces and pieces of the painting back together while looking like a panicked puppy The moment he sees you, he will begin to apologize, cling to your sleeves and ASK TO FORGIVE HIM because he didn’t do it on purpose, really. Afterwards, when your face turns from confusion to slight grief, he realizes that everything is VERY BAD When he is already returning to the room, he calls his mother to find out what to do. He has absolutely no idea how to improve the situation. Even if his mother jokingly says to paint a painting for you, he takes it seriously. It will be fair! He will definitely need a few days and advice from older students, I think this is his first experience in something so creative. Especially if the painting is for you. He loves you, he is sorry that this happened and he wants you to not be sad anymore, understood? At the same moment when he finishes the picture, he almost runs towards you. Does the paint take some time to dry? Well, they'll dry while he's running, lol. You are sitting in your room sad because of him, so he should bring a smile to your face as soon as possible! (He didn't hurt it, really. He is very careful with what he does for you.) When you open the door to let him in, the first thing you see is the canvas he holds out to you. Unusual? Unusual. His apology is quiet. Of course, there are many of them and they are really sincere, that he tries not to ruin the moment and speaks quietly. When he sees your soft gaze focused on the painting, he becomes silent and looks at you. He was never an artist, but what he did for you is priceless. You look from the painting to the empty wall, and say that his idea to fill the void is quite good. You decide to give the painting time to dry, carefully leaving it horizontal. Well, now all your attention is focused on Deuce, you still have to talk to him, right? By the time he leaves your room, the painting is almost dry. (I'm sure he will also hang it on the wall himself. It was his fault that it fell, and it was his initiative that it will hang.)

Jack Howl

I can't even imagine how this happened A second, the picture is already on the floor and he is completely confused. Afterwards he sees the reason for the loud sound and he LITERALLY: 😦😧😨 Okay, he definitely, like Deuce, will try to collect all the pieces so that you don’t accidentally get hurt, but there’s literally a crisis going on in his head. He accidentally broke something you've been working on for just over a month, it's a disaster. At the moment he is ALREADY thinking about how he should apologize to you. As soon as he sees you and your sad eyes, his ears literally press to his head. To all his apologies you respond “I know you didn’t do it on purpose. It's okay, it's nothing more than just a painting." Well, now he is more than sure that he needs something more than a verbal apology. The first thing that came to his mind: something that he himself would treasure, at that same second an idea comes to him: Make something for you that is equivalent to what was broken. Jack knows he's not an artist or anything, but for you, he's really willing to try. And after that, you will again be able to have fun with him and you will take care of the cacti in his room together! Oh. He definitely decided that it would be an apology for you. He would also ask the older students in his dorm for advice, and maybe even Vil, since he doesn't really understand art. But, I am more than sure that he is trying to paint a picture for you as neatly and pleasing to the eye as possible. The day after he finished the painting, he would pick up one of his cacti for you along with any little thing you like and head over to you. Once you let him into your room, he hands you a carefully wrapped canvas and a small patterned bag. Okay, now he's trying to find words for you. As soon as you open the package, he starts apologizing to you. Sincerely. Out of the corner of your eye you see how nervously his tail is darting and you turn your gaze from the cactus he gave him to the painting. Did he draw this himself? You hear him quiet down a little when you take the picture in your hands and looks into your face with hope. A soft smile touches your lips. And really, he tried so hard to make amends to you that he was ready to paint a painting for you himself? You hold out the canvas to him and ask him to hang it in the place where your painting previously hung. You carefully take the plant he gave you and place it nearby with your new decorative item. Did he really try that hard for you? Now, you can go somewhere together and relax, and when you return, your new favorite painting will be waiting for you.

Epel Felmier

Please, I’m not sure that in principle he could reach your painting /j But let's skip this point. Now all that was left was: him, the broken picture on the floor that you had been telling him about for a week, and panic. He is literally ready to hide all the evidence the moment he realizes that you will be broken just like your painting. When he hears your steps behind him, he is ready to be thrown out of the room and not be spoken to again. But all you told him: “Epel, it’s just canvas and paints. Tell me better, weren't you hurt? Did you accidentally cut yourself?” ok, now it would be better if you silently kicked him out of the room. He begins to apologize to you and words like “to a strong man, the fragments could hardly harm me” definitely slip into his speech. After that, he immediately headed to his dorm. Perhaps he definitely needs help. As he tells Vil his problem, he sneaks a glance at Rook, who looks like he's already aware of what happened. Okay, now all hope lies with these two, he doesn’t know how best to apologize to you. The idea about the painting was definitely suggested by Vil himself, but Rook added that he should apologize to you in detail. Not as Rook himself would have done, but approximately. Fine. There is a rough plan of action, but one problem: Epel has absolutely no idea how to paint. It looks like he will have to spend even more time with these two, but you are at stake and for your sake he is ready to spend as much time with the members of the verbal dorm as necessary The phrase “art takes time” becomes one of his least favorites. He wants to finish as soon as possible and come running to you with all the speeches he could come up with, but he has to wait until the painting dries. In the morning, when everything is finally ready, he almost knocks over a couple of students as he runs towards you. As soon as he crosses the threshold of your room, one of his hands is in yours and the other is holding out a painting to you. Well, this is the most unusual morning you could have. You, still sleepy, look at the painting in your hand and distantly hear Epel's apology. A smile touches your lips. Was he really that worried about this all this time? You remove your hand from his and ruffle his hair. HE WILL NOT LET YOU HANG THE PICTURE I'm serious. If necessary: HE IS READY TO CLIMB ON A CHAIR, TABLE, IT DOESN’T MATTER, BUT HE WILL DO IT

Sebek Zigvolt

He did this because it wasn't Malleus in the painting/j To be honest, I don't even know how this could happen. Most likely, he hit something, and that “something” dropped the painting… But okay, now he’s confused What fell? Oh.. OH WAIT He just dropped and broke a painting of his loved one. He would help you pick up the broken pieces and try to apologize to you. Moreover, I am sure that the apology will be quiet, in a whisper, rather than his usually loud voice. He's really sorry that this happened when you respond with something like, “It's okay. It’s just a painting” he really feels guilty. Okay, now he needs help apologizing to you properly. A true knight should not upset those he loves. And now.. His Diasomnia group is trying to help him. But I'm more than sure that Silver came up with the idea for the painting. (You can start fighting me, I'm ready.) Malleus and Lilia offered more ideas for verbal apologies, maybe even written ones, but the moment Silver woke up and listened to part of their conversation, he offered to give you a painting. Still, the painting that was dear to you was broken, so why shouldn’t he make amends by painting a new one for you himself? But even so, I think that all three helped Sebek in painting the picture. He must do it with love, right? And love is a rather fragile thing, so he shouldn’t rush so much. He could have written you a letter of apology, but I think he decided to stick with a verbal apology. When he finished the picture, I think that his Diasomnia group lastly gave him advice or some quotes for an apology 😭 The moment he entered your room, he began to ask for your forgiveness more loudly than last time. In the middle of his monologue, he handed you a picture from behind and He didn’t look at your face anymore. Yes, he painted this picture, please forgive him, but he can't look you in the eyes, he will stumble and forget what he was talking about 😭 When he hears your quiet laugh, he falls silent and watches you approach the empty wall. A couple of seconds and he understands what you want to do. Okay, honey, he's glad you forgive him, but take your hands off and let him hang the picture. He will do it himself, you understand? Afterwards, he could invite you to take a walk with him, but, of course, when he is absolutely sure that you feel better than before

The characters do not belong to me, they belong to their rightful owners, please do not edit, translate, repost my works on other platforms, also without my permission and @

[ninapi]

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- ̥۪͙۪˚┊❛ Better Half (Sukuna Version)❜┊˚ ̥۪͙۪◌

Premise: Nobara forced Yuuji to stop by a food stand every time they came back from a mission. The girl working there always entranced the youngster, causing his teammates to tease him more than usual. An odd encounter brings her a little too close to Sukuna who ends up just as smitten as his counterpart with the young beauty. Which half will get her heart? Only time will tell.

Word Count: 2334

Note: you can read the first installment of this story here ☺️

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Sukuna Ryomen, the king of curses…nobody would have pegged him for a romantic really…but the fact that he hasn’t stopped thinking about the soft squishy cheeks of that human girl might make you think otherwise.

While Yuuji had been sulking about the fact that you were somehow also attracted to Sukuna, the king himself has been basking in his glorious triumph.

Specially with the way you looked at him like he was the hottest guy in the universe, in all truth, he knew he was, always known, his vessel was unimportant, but getting it recognized by such a fine piece of art such as yourself made his ego boost to the rooftop.

While he didn’t like being inside of Itadori and wished to take over Megumi at some point, he started to consider that maybe it wasn’t as bad to inhabit him for the time being, you did like the idiot, so he might as well make good use of his resources. 

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The next morning Yuuji wasn’t feeling like himself, he kept on appearing in places he didn’t try to visit, with no recollection of how he even got there. It was an unsettling feeling specially how each time he did he was closer and closer to your place of work.

He knew this had to be related to Sukuna and he didn’t like it one bit.

Yuuji tried to let his friends know of what was happening, try to get you out of there before you would get even more involved in the world of curses, but Megumi and Nobara both had been assigned to a quick mission with Gojo sensei and didn’t tell him about it to give him time to feel better with himself.

He was on his own and he needed to get you to safety.

Running over to the crepe stand, he noticed it wasn’t open yet, it was still too early and all the shops around were as closed as yours.

His blood kept pumping through his entire body, he looked up and down the street like a lost puppy hoping to get a glimpse of your beautiful face as soon as possible. But the moment he did, his body turned off again, welcoming the king himself.

“Well hello there, my queen~ Looking rather fine as usual…” his eyes were eating you up like a pastry, you could see the evil and lust full glint of his eyes from meters away.

“You’re early today~” offering him a sweet smile, you went by to get the locks open.

“Let me help you with that, gorgeous. No need to get on your knees, yet…” his smirk gave you the chills, he was so hungry for you, you could feel it all the way to your bones, but somehow you were not mad at it in the slightest.

He went on his knees and got all the locks opened up for you in no time, your stand ready for a day’s work in less than half the time it would have normally take.

“Such a gentleman~” you laid a hand on one of his ridiculously well built muscly arms as you made your way inside to get your apron on. “Would you like a breakfast crepe? It’s my specialty~”

“Oh my dear, I want more than a little snack from you….but if your lovely hands get to do it, I guess I wouldn’t mind having one…” his words never failed to make you giggle, this eccentric and sexy side of him was so different from the other one, yet so enticing, made you want to get to know him better.

As you turn on the iron grill and prepare the ingredients, you decide to test the waters, “So…Itadori-kun…can you…tell me whats up with your changes in mood? Don’t think I mind them, I just want to understand you a bit better…” your tone was soft, sweet, really understanding and inviting, while Yuuji would have love that, he didn’t. Sukuna didn’t want you to think of him as pathetic little Itadori, he wanted you to see him for who he truly was, and that meant breaking down for you the dark truth of this world.

“I’m not him, that’s it..” you waited for him to elaborate, your theory of him having double personality now becoming stronger.

“I’m Sukuna Ryomen, the king of curses. Just happen to be living inside this crappy teenager body…but I’m so much better than him in every way, babe, trust me on that.” his confident tone gave you goosebumps, but of the good kind, his voice was so sexy and the way he seemed to be undressing you with his eyes as you cooked was certainly not helping.

“A curse? Does that mean you’re some sort of spirit living in him? Or are you another soul trapped in the same body?” you were clever, more than he expected. Humans usually tend to laugh and think of this sort of things as jokes, but you didn’t treat him like he was crazy, you were seriously trying to grasp the situation and understand him fully.

“You could say it’s a bit of both. Curses aren’t really spirits but an amalgamation of cursed energy harbored by negative emotions humans tend to have…” for the first time in his very long lived life, he was terrified of scaring someone off, he didn’t want you to give him the cold shoulder, to see him like a freak, and he has never had such a wish before.

“Negative emotions…does that mean Itadori-kun is depressed and brought you out?”

“Not really, he kind of…took me in willingly, of course he didn’t really know what he was getting himself into…” you didn’t seem to back off, contrary to what he thought it would happen you seemed fascinated with everything he had to say.

“So you have nothing to do with Itadori-kun then. Is that why your voice is so deep and you get those fancy tattoos?”

“Precisely, we are completely different beings. He’s just a mere vessel, I am the king of curses, the most powerful being out there. And you, my little dove, happen to tick all the boxes for the queen spot right beside me~” 

Your giggles were killing him, he’s never been this attracted to anyone, let alone a human. You weren’t just the cutest little thing, but incredibly hot too. His blood kept going south every few minutes, his body becoming all twitchy every time you made one of your cute little sounds.

“I’m just a part-timer who happens to make good crepes. How does that make me a queen candidate?”

“I’ve never wished for a queen before. There’s nobody stronger than me, hence pleasing me is not an easy task. But you, my flower, just the sight of you gets me as high as never before…” your blushing increased tenfold, you could literally feel how aroused he was and in all honesty you had no idea how to handle a man like that, even worse… a curse like that…

“So you like my face? Is that it?” trying to force the situation down a notch, you handed him his breakfast crepe and got to your cleaning duties.

“Your face? Oh no, my darling. Your soul, your body…everything about you is so damn delicious…I could see myself enjoying every single crease of your body for all eternity…” you weren’t expecting someone to comment on how good your soul seemed to taste, it was quite frankly terrifying, yet arousing at the same time. You’ve never been wanted with such intensity, made you feel empowered, important, special.

“Oh yeah? That does sound like fun, I admit. But you aren’t always yourself, are you? I’ve seen Itadori out more often than you.”

“You’re not wrong, my dove, you're quite observant. I’m gearing up to take over him completely, I just didn’t have the need or even the motivation to do so until I met you…I don’t want this pathetic human pawing at whats mine…” his cold tone full of hatred and disgust shook you to your core, while you’ve been hearing all he had to say, you didn’t fully understand how dangerous he was until this moment.

“So what happens to Itadori-kun if you’re out all the time?”

“Why do you care? Do you like him more than you like me? Do you like the empty headed weakling who doesn’t have an ounce of talent without my powers?” he was scowling now, his voice raising by the second making you feel weak in more than one way.

But your answer was definite, quick, simple, “No.” and that was all it took to get his anger under control.

“Was just wondering…”

A wide smirk adorned his handsome features once more as he leaned against the windowsill, “Well if you must know, he will disappear once I take over, at least until I switch bodies…How do you feel about the Fushiguro boy? Don’t you think he’s way more of an attractive vessel?”

His words made you freeze, your answer could easily ruin someone’s life, but also save another.

“The raven haired friend of his?” 

“Yeah, he’s a masterpiece, some would say he’s the perfect vessel, I’ve been eyeing him for a while, but you seem attach to this one…” 

“Hm, he is cute. But I met you with this face, it would be a bit awkward if you were to switch faces completely, if that makes sense…” 

“It does, I expected as much. For now I’ll stay in Itadori, but I’m sure I’ll get you convinced in no time that he’s better.”

He was done eating, though no other customer had shown ever since, you started thinking it was probably his doing as this was usually peak time for your business.

“So... Sukuna?” he nodded proudly, tingles running al over his body once he heard his real name flowing from those delicious looking lips of yours.

“You said you wanted to take me to hell with you, was that literal? Or you just meant me going with you in general?” your curious nature was delightful.

“Eventually the place you know as your home will be nothing but a charred pile of ashes, curses will roam freely, humans will no longer be the superior race…When that time comes, you’d have a place right by my side, on my throne, ruling over all of them, curses and humans alike…” it sounded like an awful future for human race, yet it somehow didn’t feel like he was bullshitting you. 

The whole curses thing was starting to be a bit too real for you and while you couldn’t really see them, the fact that human’s despair could turn to deadly creatures of the night sounded more possible than it should.

“Shouldn’t someone more important sit with the king himself? I’m nothing special…” 

“Are you questioning me?” his tone was going back to its cold nature the more you talked, “Because seems to me like you think you have an option…I’m not asking you, my dove, I’m telling you what the future is going to look like.”

“So I don’t have a choice then…” your voice didn’t sound defeated in the slightest, nor there was a hint of fear in it, and he liked it.

“The king has spoken? Is that it?”

“Something like that.”

To this statement you just nodded, accepting your fate was better than getting in troubles. He did seem like he wants to treasure in his own very peculiar way and it’s not like this par- time job could do more than help paying your bills.

“Do you have books on curses or something? I would like to get to know more about what I’m getting myself into, unlike Itadori. If I have to be a queen, I might as well be a good one. Right?” your sweet smile had come back, he was positively glittering with excitement at this point. It’s not like you had a choice, he would take you regardless of anything you had to say, but the fact that you were taking this so well made him fill up with pride, brimming with hope. 

And that was new.

Hope is the very opposite of cursed energy, he was literally defying his own existence by taking in his ball of sunshine under his wing. 

But if a curse deserved a happy ending, it certainly had to be the king of them, right?

“Itadori might have some in his room, he does go to a sorcery school after all. I’ll look into it for you, my love.”

You just nodded, inching closer to his face, “My king…”

His entire world collapsed right there, while nobody can control him, and never will, you certainly knew how to make him feel weak…and somehow he didn’t hate it…

“I’ll pick you up by nightfall, babe…prepare yourself for the night of your life, I ain’t holding back…” giving you a little whiff, his time outside came to an end, a very confused Itadori was left looking at you up close, closer than never before.

“(Y/N)…? Are you ok? Oh my god…why am I here…?” you just caressed his face in a loving tender manner, he was your love’s vessel after all, and you’d take care of him just as much.

“It’s ok sweet stuff. You’re fine, I’m fine. Are you hungry?” and with that, he turned into a puddle of goo forgetting the whole reason he was there in the first place, maybe having Sukuna making you swoon wasn’t so bad after all.

°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

Previous Chapter Masterlist

[myvampyrez]

hey!!! ive been reading your sephiroth fanfics recently and it has been such an intricate work of art i genuinely feel the emotion and love put into it, your writing is just perfect in terms of how you write his character! i was wondering if i could request a seph x reader maybe during or post advent children and is really angsty with some fluff regarding his return??? it's vague (sorry😭) but i know if you did take up on it youd do fantastic!! 💖🫶🏻

liberabo volucres 𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪

sephiroth (ffvii) x reader

┊ ˚➶ notes ｡˚ 🎼

omg you are literally so sweet!!!! thank you so much for this request, although i don’t think i did it justice 😭 i wasnt quite sure how to go about this considering after advent children, the remnants of seph faded into the lifestream (i think?) so it’s more angsty with lots of mentions of kadaj, but i hope you like it either way!! i’m glad you enjoy my sephiroth fics and don’t hesitate to send more asks!! love this one 💕

┊ ˚➶ warnings ｡˚ 🎼

mentions of kadaj and remnants of seph, written in a yearning type of way where you still have a hole in your heart left from sephiroth, don’t ask where you came from at the beginning!! just enjoy it 😭, intended lowercase, mentions of kissing kadaj’s forehead, lmk if i missed anything!!

┊ ˚➶ word count ｡˚ 🎼

1327 words, 7173 characters

. ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ . ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ . ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ . ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄

“cloud,” your voice only a faint whisper as you called out to the blond, “what did you do?” he lifted his head, his skin glossier with the droplets of rain falling on his face. his eyes widened at the sight of you, chest still rising and lowering rapidly as he recovered from his battle with sephiroth. how foreign that name felt on your tongue, now.

you got up from your hiding spot beyond the debris, knees aching from how long you were crouched as your feet slammed against the flat surface of the floor. you watched as your kadaj’s catlike slits for pupils— pupils that constantly reminded you that he was still apart of sephiroth, despite his role as being only a remnant of your lover— flickered towards you with whatever energy he had left. the corner of kadaj’s lips quirked upwards ever the slightest as you rushed over him, cloud moving out of your way as he stood up.

cloud’s words, albeit firm, lay dormant in your brain, “he was going to kill me—kill us all.” and even with his sharp tone, you didn’t pay him any mind. the only thing you could focus on was kadaj’s eyes trained on yours, scoffing as he rasped out, “such— a drama.. queen.” you softly shushed him, watching as his eyes became emptier by the minute. your throat stung as a choked sob threatened to escape its enclosure behind your uvula. kadaj lifted his hand only for you to grasp it, moist leather clutched in your palm as you placed it back to his chest. he intertwined your fingers, a wince leaving his lips as you held his head up.

it took everything not to look away from him. his hair, his eyes, even the way he smelled, reminded you of sephiroth. sometimes, you wish it had been different. you wish you would’ve been there when it had happened, and even now, your memory’s fuzzy of the events. all you remember was the day sephiroth left you, and you haven’t stop thinking about him since. you wished he had come to you, and apart of you was angry. maybe you were angry that he left you with no word, or maybe angry that instead of opening up to you, he decides to burn a village down in his spiral, or maybe you weren’t angry at all.

you paused, taking another look at kadaj’s furrowed eyebrows and his lidded eyes. you wonder if this is how sephiroth felt upon his notice of who he really was— what he really was. he was only in his twenties when it happened, you couldn’t have imagined how he felt. you remembered; his friends, gone and turned against shinra, and with all the pressure on him about the cover-up, you thought that maybe it wasn’t entirely his fault. you realized now, that you can’t get what you want from this world without taking it yourself. saying please didn’t scratch the itch in the back of your throat the way that anger did, and you assumed sephiroth felt the same.

clasping kadaj’s hand, he let out a weak sigh. you let your hand, although shaky and so weak that you can’t make a fist, card a piece of his hair out his face; your heart ached at your hands in his silver hair, mind racing back to when you’d brush sephiroth’s hair for him. a true honor, you’d always call it.

the way kadaj’s eyes widened and his ears perked up made you pause, like he was listening for something. even with cloud’s tense presence behind you, you refused to let go of the part of sephiroth, your part of sephiroth. the only part you had of him left. you couldn’t be angry at cloud. he was only doing what he thought was best— and in the end, maybe it was for the best, you thought. you couldn’t even be angry at yourself, your mind only clouded with grief as your sniffles and teary sighs filled the air.

the sound of kadaj’s arm moving, leather rubbing against itself, interrupted your soft cries as he lifted his hand up to the sky. a soft whisper of, “mother—?” left his lips.

your hand snaked up and you rubbed your thumb against his cheek, watching as he turned his head towards you slowly. a teary sound left your lips, you weren’t even sure if it was a sob or a laugh. but you leaned down, pressing one last kiss to his forehead as his eyelashes fluttered, just the way sephiroth’s did when you’d lay with him in the morning where golden rays would seep through the curtains and shine onto your beloved.

all good things must come to an end, you realized, as you watched the only physical evidence that sephiroth had coexisted with you fade into the lifestream, his arm fading into reduced crystallized mako. you closed your eyes, shoulders heaving as you tried stifling your thick cries; after all, cloud was still behind you. you held onto kadaj’s hand until it was no more, his body being lifted up and vanishing although you couldn’t bear to watch it. and you didn’t open your eyes, not for a long while, in hopes that maybe you’d be back in the comfort of your home as you heard heavy footsteps trail behind you to the kitchen, sephiroth’s content face across from yours at the dinner table. and you didn’t open your eyes until you heard a low hum, beyond the loud sounds of the rain hitting the concrete, beyond your own shaking breaths. this couldn’t have been cloud, you thought. your head lifted up and squinted so as to not get any rain in your eyes.

and there he was— or more so a faded version of him. even in the rain, you couldn’t help but gawk at him in awe, his hair flowing so gracefully even in the humidity of the rain. even if you were dreaming, you’d wish you would never wake in hopes of spending one last minute with the one you held dearest to your heart. one last moment with sephiroth and you’d feel like you’d finally be complete.

his eyes, still sleek and catlike how you always remembered, almost look amused. he held a smile at you, his head cocking at the sight. you didn’t want to think of the possibility that this was just a hallucination of your grief. this was more than that. sephiroth was more than that.

he gave you a nod, a nod of which you didn’t understand. ever so esoteric, you thought. the way he always was after nibelheim. you sat back on your haunches, your knees still against the wet, cold floor— taking one last look at sephiroth before he turned around. his head tipped back, fingers twitching as he let himself face the sky, until he finally let himself go and faded away as well.

your lip trembled, a teary laugh releasing itself from your throat until cloud put a soft, awkward hand on your shoulder. head turning to face him, your eyes met his. you realized now that cloud did what was best, and you couldn’t possibly blame him for that.

he cleared his throat, almost cautiously as if you’d snap at him for interrupting the silence, “we have to go. i’m sure tifa’s waiting for us.”

you sniffled, wiping your eyes from both the rain and the tears that littered your cheeks. looking back down at your lap, once where kadaj laid, you were met with emptiness. closing your eyes once more, you inhaled and let the air fill your lungs. the first deep breath of air that you’ve taken in what feels like years, one that felt fresher— almost bittersweet. and when you turned back to cloud, you gave him a firm nod.

the urge to be changed is not metamorphosis, you realized. you can’t be changed without making a change of your own.

[historicallyaccuratecheese]

I’m happy to say that Starkid Innit…was honestly life changing for me.

It was not only super amazing to be able to see these people who have inspired me so much in person for the first time, but the entire show was spectacularly performed, it felt amazing to be surrounded by so many people who love the same thing as me, all of whom were lovely, and like…I finally get concerts now! I’ve never really thought they’d be for me, but…wow, I haven’t just enjoyed myself freely like that in…god, I don’t even know. It’s really inspired me to be more outgoing and maybe try out some new things (the band did such a good job that they’re inspiring me to do music again after having not done so for four years lmao.)

Also, some notable highlights:

- The insane cheering from the crowd all throughout, along with the fact that it surprisingly didn’t actually bother me because it was just that exciting.

- Being able to meet up with a friend and fellow Starkid fan who I haven’t seen in person for a while (I know you’re reading this so omg hiiiiiii)

- The cosplayers??? The bracelets??? Everyone was so dedicated and I love each and every one of you

- TGWDLM AS THE OPENING YEEEESSSS

- Everyone on stage looked amazing… The whole thing looked amazing….the stage…the lights….the outfits…ouuuggghhh

- On the note or outfits, the “where’d you get your shirt” bit was comedy gold

- The NPMD medley was just…yes…Jeff as Max works so well too…

- THE AUDIENCE PLAYED RICHIE AND SHOUTED I’M NOT A LOSER THAT’S SO COOL

- EVERYONE STARTED SWINGING THEIR PHONE FLASHLIGHTS IN THE WIND DURING JAMIE’S NUMBERS I LOVED IT SO MUCH (also loved the eulogy she gave for her dog)

- I got to see Starkid say trans rights in person this is the best timeline

- Corey doing Show Stopping Number…I screamed…

- Also THE AUDIENCE SINGING ALONG TO SHOW STOPPING NUMBER AND GOING BACK TO HOGWARTS I SCREAMED

- The medley of forgotten songs all performed in a super tragic and melodramatic manner was fucking hysterical. You have not seen true art until you see Meredith Stepien singing an emo reprise of “Hermione Can’t Draw”.

- Lauren acknowledging how Firebringer becoming a viral meme gives them a lot of money was great

- Lauren and Joey doing Granger Danger again…yes…

- Our Doors are Open works REALLY well in a meta sense and I’m disappointed in myself for never realizing it that until now.

- Feast or Famine. Just. Just Feast or Famine.

- ME AND MY DICK JUMPSCARE IN 2024?!

- The whole buildup to taking the picture was hilarious as well

- Surprise Spice Girls? Ok?

- HAPPY BIRTHDAY JEFF!!!

Anyways whole thing was great I’m going to cry now :,). Here’s a picture from my vertigo inducing viewpoint all the way up in…I think…D13? D17? Idk.

[taylortruther]

I feel like there is a spectrum of engaging with a celebrity. it’s one thing to have conversations offline, another to have conversations online that can be read by everyone (not really including tumblr in this, but thinking more about twitter, TikTok, DM on instagram and her podcast) and then another using those public platforms to make your views about her choices known by pointing your conversation at her. Idk I feel comfortable in my dislike of MH and also don’t really feel like I’ve crossed a line by talking about it amongst my friends or on my blog that she doesn’t see. Maybe I’m being naive or making excuses for myself but I feel like Taylor understands there are so things that just are the reality with celebrities and there are some that are too much?

here's how i see it!

i think taylor likes being seen/understood, and she likes that her music or experiences are relatable. it all makes her feel less alone. she's an artist and that's why we create art!

but she knows she can't have this success and this freedom without the negatives. i think she's done what she can to reduce some of the negativity, like by not consuming it, but also by setting more boundaries, doing less promo, sharing less of her life, and so on. reasserting the boundaries in her music is part of that.

i'm sure she thinks some fans or detractors are "worse" than others. but ultimately, she wants ALL of her listeners and fans and detractors to hear what she's saying (that we have no right to try and control her or shame her into changing her behavior.) and she's right! but she also knows that saying it won't stop people, necessarily.

i'm sure if she did read my blog, she'd be like "bitch, you don't know me, shut up!!!" i accept this. i still feel fine about how i interact with her celebrity and whatnot.

i've personally never thought taylor should change to cater to me. and maybe that's why, even though i think she's calling me (and people like me) out in the song, i don't lose any metaphorical sleep over it. i already felt my interest in her/the fandom was healthy enough. like, for example, would i love it if she was more aligned with me politically? yes, but she's not. i accept this. would i love it if she worked with X, or did less Y? sure. but she probably never will and i accept this. does she probably wish i'd shut down my blog? maybe! i accept this too! and i'm not going to fajsdkl

idk if this explains anything. just saying things!

[liketwoswansinbalance]

@wisteriaum If you'd like, you can accept this as tribute for your magnificent art! (This was sort of a scene from a WIP, but it doesn't require any context to be understood since it probably won't fit into the plot.)

⸻

In a Modern AU:

Rafal: Why are we friends?

Sophie: I answered the Scheherazade question on trivia night that you couldn’t.

Rafal: Mm. Shouldn’t call you or Rhian a friend or a loved one. Most people get to choose them. You two are more like shots in the heart I can’t remove. Not even surgically. Which senior superlative did you get voted for?

Sophie: “Most Dramatic.” Though, I suppose that’s a given, considering I’m in theater.

Rafal: Huh. That’s surprisingly unproblematic.

Sophie: What do you mean? What did you win, then? [she posed the question, tilting her head.]

Rafal: “Most Likely to Say the Ends Justify the Means,” [he groused.]

Sophie: [drily] Fitting. Verily. How astute of them to notice. [she laughs.] You should be thankful that there isn’t one for “Most Likely to Commit Genocide.”

Rafal: Do I really come across to others that terribly?

Sophie: Not to me. But to everyone else? Yes. Let’s just say you make a certain impression on most. But, you hate almost everyone anyway. And, I know you find me amusing.

Rafal: I don’t hate everyone. I just… find them unstimulating. That’s all.

Sophie: [sighs]

Rafal: What’s that supposed to mean?

Sophie: Nothing, darling, except that, well—no one is likely to act any more interesting than they usually are around you, especially if they fear you. They’re inhibited when in your presence. And, they’re not dull. Granted, some of them are. But most of them are… tolerable. Maybe, more than that: adequate or competent, if we’re speaking in your terms.

Rafal: What do you mean, my terms?

Sophie: You evaluate most people based on what they can offer you and how you can best use them to your own ends, like an old fogey calling the police about oafish children on his lawn, unless they do your yard work.

Rafal: I—

Sophie: Don’t think I haven’t noticed. At the start, you only spared me a glance when I answered the questions you couldn't. Though, I suppose your brother and I are the exceptions, hmm?

Rafal: [stares speechless for a moment.] You read me too well. Never do that in public ever again.

Sophie: Of course, but you’ve got to play your part. Be unpredictable to me for once.

Rafal: There’s no winning with you, is there? [he sighs, resigned.]

Sophie: When has there ever been a chance? I’m your match. Don’t forget it. [she sweeps away.]

Rafal: [dourly] Check. And mate.

Rhian: [steps up, not knowing the context of Rafal’s last conversation] There. Now, you’ve really done it! Blown it with the only girl who’s ever had the nerve and a sufficiently inflated ego to speak to you. Do you know how hard it was to get her paired up with you on trivia night?! I had to convince her you were worth her time!

[swollenbabyfat]

How did you come to draw and paint the way you do? What inspirations do you pull from? All of your art oozes with some strange, almost ethereal emotion I've not quite seen anywhere else, something similar to what I'd like to capture with my own works.

I’ve always had a bit of a hard time answering this bc like…I honestly think aesthetic/inspirational/taste stuff is a library you build up over your whole life, or maybe a closet that you try things on to see what does and doesn’t work for you. My biggest advice to this kinda stuff is to experiment a lot and take in a lot of media in a purposeful way, and try to actively apply things you like about said medias to your work. And don’t just consume stuff within your field, I take inspiration from a ton of stuff that isn’t art. I also recommend having somewhere to keep a kind of reserve of inspo, wether it be on tumblr or Pinterest or what have you.

So with that being said I’ll try to sum up what I can about myself.

I’m a horror lover, have been since I was (too) young. I’ve consumed a ton of horror movies, read a lot of books, and certainly have digested a lot of art about it. I am a bit of a haunted person haha, and I’ve always really attached myself to horror, and with some exception to just purely cute stuff I truly am always thinking about it with my work. I am not really aiming to make people feel comfortable with my stuff, in fact often the opposite, but many feel understood anyways which feels nice. I don’t think horror for horrors sake is always as fufilling to me, it always pulls from something internal that I’ve been wrestling with or are afraid of myself.

I am classically trained in fine art due to the kind of art program my highschool had (magnet program if that means anything to anyone), it was incredibly good and I always feel so lucky I got to go there. Bc of this I learned a lot of techniques in painting as well as the fundamental of art. I don’t think my art would be the way it is without this training, but I also think with how the internet is now you can probably do the same thing at your own pace, just have to be dedicating a decent amount of time and mental energy into it.

Bc of my highschool training I also learned about art history, which had a big impact on me, particularly renaissance, baroque, and rococo. Religious imagery as well had a huge impact on me, particularly catholic (probs cause we learned about it it the most). I would say doing master studies with these would be a huge help.

I would say it’s important to me that each “full” illustration tells a story of sorts, I can’t really help it, I’m a story teller at heart. I use a lot of symbolic imagery, I pull a lot from religious imagery but also within fruit, flowers, personal objects… I think “what am I trying to say with this work” and kind of go from there with what I choose. Make your own personal symbolism language.

There’s like this certainty digital painting aesthetic I really enjoy by niche furry artist lol, many of them really nsfw so I don’t feel comfortable linking to them. It’s like…highly detailed well rendered pieces that they make with literally one brush that is often without any kind of pen pressure, just layering things with opacity. It’s crazy and yeah idk they’re definitely up there in inspo for me.

I really really care about fashion. Lolita was my first love in terms of clothing, and I pull a ton of inspiration from it, but also a lot of other street styles and runways stuff. I like drama and frills.

I play with my art and stories in a way that I don’t know how to describe other than childlike. It’s important for me to do so in my process, but basically, I let my imagination run wild, I talk to my characters, I listen to music and think about them. A lot of my bigger pieces take a lot of time of me thinking about them ahead a time, I draw in my head a lot. Sketchbooks are a huge help in this.

I thiiiiiink that’s all I have to say for now…I could probably list a million things but this feels like a good core to start with. I hope it’s not too vague, but I’m always good to keep answering stuff like this if you wanna know about one part in depth.

[ramblingoak]

Everything

Mushy May in Lucifer's Hollow: Day 11 - Gift Giving

Mountain x Rain

This fic is set in an alternate universe in a town called Lucifer's Hollow. It's sort of like a Satanic version of a Hallmark town. For Mushy May I'll be using the prompts to post little snippets of life for the humans and ghouls that live there 💙 Thank you to @forlorn-crows for putting Mushy May together!

~ In Lucifer's Hollow Mountain has a little farm and sells flowers at the local farmer's market. Rain meets him there while selling his art. ~

Warnings: fluff, sappiness, sfw, 800 words (thank you to @ghuleh-recs for the dividers)

“Are we there yet?”

“Not yet.  Patience, duckweed.”  Mountain laughed when Rain let out a little huff.  He was in the passenger seat, pouting and blindfolded while Mountain took him to a surprise he had in store.  “We’re almost there.”

“Why couldn’t you have given it to me at my place?”

“Because it’s at my place and,”  He reached out and tapped the tip of Rain’s nose, jerking his hand away when the water ghoul tried to nip it.  “You were coming over tonight anyway.”

Rain didn’t respond but Mountain could see a little pink staining his cheeks.  The truth was Rain had been staying over practically every night and Mountain didn’t have a single problem with it.  If he had his way, Rain would never leave the farmhouse.  On the rare nights they weren’t together Mountain had trouble sleeping without Rain curled up against his side.  

It was really too soon to even think about it but Mountain wanted Rain there permanently.  He wanted to wake up to him every morning and have him in his arms every night.  They just fit together and even in the moments where they’ve had disagreements they’ve been respectful.  Everything about them worked and was perfect and Mountain had decided to take the first steps to get Rain to move in.

Which is where the gift came in.

When they got there Rain had impatiently jumped out of the truck, Mountain jogging over to his side to take his hands.  There was some laughter as Mountain led him inside.  Possibly a few times he purposefully knocked him into something just to mess with him.  Thankfully at the point Rain’s nose was doing that adorable scrunched up thing it did when he was angry they finally got to their destination.

“Alright.  You ready?”  When Rain nodded he gently tugged the blindfold off and let Rain take it in.  “Ta da!”

Rain was silent as he looked around the room, his room now if he wanted.  The sunroom had always been the one room Mountain hadn’t done much with.  It ended up being an extra greenhouse for him for the most part but after finishing the expansion on his actual greenhouse a month ago he had been able to clear things up.  He had been debating on its uses when he had seen Rain putting his easel outside one morning.  

“I don’t…”  Rain took a few steps forward, his eyes first entranced by all the light coming in through the windows.  He paused in front of the easel Mountain had made for him, complete with the fanciest chair he could find in Lucifer’s Hollow.  “What’s happening?”

“Well, I was able to clear out the plants,”  He gave Rain a sheepish smile when the ghoul looked at the handful of plants hanging from the ceiling and sitting in various corners.  “Some of the plants.  And I’ve noticed you’ve been painting outside a lot so I started thinking that a space with a lot of light would be perfect.”

“So, I’m supposed to paint in here?”

Mountain was starting to get a sinking feeling but he pressed on.  Maybe Rain wasn’t on the same page as him but Mountain wasn’t going to shy away from how he was feeling.

“Yes.  If you want to.”  He walked up to Rain, relieved when the water ghoul didn’t move.  “I made you the easel and Aurora helped me pick out some other supplies for you.”

“You made this?”  Rain’s eyes widened when Mountain nodded and he pulled away to run his fingers across the smooth wood.  “You made this for me?”

“It’s all for you, duckweed.”  Fuck it, he was gonna lay everything out right now.  “The room.  The farmhouse.  Me.”

“Mountain…”

“I love you and I want you here all the time.  I want to deal with you being crabby as hell before you get coffee.”  He ignored Rain’s indignant ‘hey!’ and continued,  “I want to find drops of paint everywhere.  I want to see you chasing the goats around when they get out.  But most of all Rain, I want you here.  With me.”

“I have never been crabby a day in my life.”

“You’re right, I’m sorry.”

“Mountain, this is just,”  When Rain turned away a cold feeling started to creep through his chest.  It was too soon, he was going to scare Rain off.  He was going to scare away the greatest thing that had ever hap–  “Okay.”

“What?”  

“I said…okay.  As in, yes I’ll accept your easel and your sunroom.”  Rain walked up to Mountain and wrapped his arms around the earth ghoul’s waist.  “I’ll also take everything else.”

“Even me?”

Rain smiled, rising up on his toes to give Mountain a soft kiss.  One that was full of so much promise and love that Mountain wanted to say a thousand prayers to the Olde One in thanks.

“Especially you.”

If you'd like to be added/removed from the tag list (or if I accidentally left your name off) of this fic or any of my others please leave a comment or send me a dm! Thank you 💙

My Masterlist ~ My Archive of our Own ~ My Ko-Fi Tip Jar

More snippets from this verse are on my masterlist under "Ongoing Series"!

Other Mushy May days: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / 11 / 12

[memyselfandmya]

JWCT PROMPT COUNTDOWN

Jwct countdown May 12-13 -> favorite friendship/duo:

I couldn't choose between Sammy & Kenji and Ben & Yaz so here's both of them in another excerpt from the fanfiction I'm in the process of writing. Again, this is mostly unedited. For context, they're at the water park in JW.

Sammy noticed Kenji standing off to the side with a disappointed look on his face. 

“Hey, Kenji! Did you wanna’ go–” 

He flipped his sunglasses to shade his eyes. “Sammy, let me stop you there. I know it’s hard to resist all this,” —he ran his hands across his shirtless chest, which Sammy hadn’t even been paying attention to— “but I’ve got a girl back home. And let me tell you, she is incredibly–”

She stared at him, head tilting a bit. Maybe this wasn’t the best idea after all. “Uh, Kenji. I don’t want to date you,” Sammy said. “Like, at all. I’m happy you have a girlfriend, though. I was just seeing if you wanted to hang out.” 

“Psh… Obviously. I was just kidding.” He cleared his throat. “About you asking me out. Not about my girlfriend... obviously,” he added on.

Sammy nodded her head slowly. “Right…well do you want to go on one of the rides?”

“Yes! Let’s go!”

“So tell me about this girlfriend of yours,” Sammy said as they began walking through the park.  

“Oh, uh–well you know. She’s really pretty. She’s got blonde hair…blue eyes? She’s, uh, really into art too.”

Sammy arched her eyebrow. It was obvious that Kenji was lying about his so-called girlfriend. Why he was, Sammy couldn’t be sure. Not that it really mattered to her. She wasn’t at all interested in Kenji—or boys for that matter. “She sure sounds like a great catch.”

Although to be honest, Kenji’s imaginary girlfriend didn’t seem like her type, at least not the blonde hair and blue eyes. Sounded more like her sister’s type in guys if anything.

Suddenly, her eyes caught on a huge slide with a line of people carrying bright yellow and green intertubes trailing from the base of its stairs all the way to the top which stood at about maybe 2 stories tall. 

“Last one to that slide has to carry the tube up!” Sammy shouted, pointing at said ride and dashing off before Kenji could get a word in. 

She could hear the sound of Kenji’s flip-flops smacking against the concrete as they ran for the line, ignoring the shrill whistle of a nearby lifeguard. 

—

Yasmina was still bristling from her encounter with Brooklyn. The nerve of that girl! Did she even understand personal boundaries? She just flitted around sticking her phone in everyone’s faces. It wasn’t fair that Brooklyn got to keep it just to be nosy. All Yasmina wanted was to plug her headphones in and listen to music.

It would’ve especially been helpful in that moment. Hundreds of kids were milling around screaming their fucking heads off and life guards blowing whistles at them and it was like shoving a bunch of forks in her ears. She just wished she could tune everything out. 

“Oh, look,” A familiar voice said. “There’s Yasmina!”

Kill me now, she thought, dread settling in her stomach. She sat up in her chair, to find Ben and Darius approaching her. Ben wasn’t so bad but Darius had just as much energy as Brooklynn or, dare she say it, Sammy. “What do you want?” She asked. 

Darius shrugged. “Nothing, really… Just chilling.”

Ben took a seat next to Yasmina, occupying not even an inch of the space and even that looked like it agonized him. 

“Have you done anything fun?” Darius asked, his eyes cutting to Ben.

Yasmina narrowed her eyes at him. What was he up to? “Nope. I’ve been here the entire time. Why?”

“Just asking,” he said. “Ben, I might go on the [Insert ride]. Are you good to stay here?”

So that's what he wanted. Not much of a surprise there.

She looked at Ben who shrugged. “Sure.” 

“Awesome! See you,” he said, not wasting a second to go run off towards the slide line. 

“Did he just dump you onto me?” She asked Ben. 

“Yeah, he did.” There was a hint of pain in his voice and Yasmina wondered how it must have felt to be abandoned like that. 

“Sorry.”

He shrugged. “I’m used to it.”

Well that’s depressing. Then Yasmina noticed how Ben hadn’t moved any and still balanced precariously on the edge of the bench like he didn’t want to touch it all. 

“Here,” she said, tossing him the towel she’d been using to shade her face. 

Ben fumbled but caught it in his hands before spreading it out over the chair. Finally, he sat his full body on it and curled into himself. “Thanks,” he mumbled.

“Don’t mention it.”

To be fair, out of all the campers, she was glad it was Ben and not one of the others. Ben was quiet and calm and he kept to himself instead of sticking his nose into her business. He was kind of like her, in a way. 

After a moment of silence between them, Yaz could hear sniffling. She sighed, wondering if this was something worth getting into. And then: “Are you okay?”

—

Ben hated it there. Nobody understood. He could tell he was upsetting Darius by not wanting to go on any of the attractions but Ben just couldn’t. The mere thought of touching the tubes or sliding down slides that so many others had gone down made his skin crawl. If he wasn’t wearing long sleeves he’d probably be scratching at his arms or lathering hand sanitizer on his skin. There wasn’t enough hand sanitizer in the world that could convince him to go on one of those rides, though. The only comforting thing about the wade pool or the lazy river was the heavy amount of chlorine in the water but Ben knew there was only so much he could handle that day. Ben hadn’t even noticed his nails digging into his skin or the salty tear leaking from his eye.

“Are you okay?” Yasmina’s question only seemed to draw more tears from him. 

“No,” he said, swiping at his face. “I want to go home.”

Yasmina was silent for a moment, and in that time he had begun to think that she too fell into the Ben hate club. Until, “Me too.” 

Ben and Yasmina's friendship is so precious to me, especially in s5 of CC and I really wanted to bring that up in the earlier parts of the fanfic I'm writing too.

[power-chords]

apologies if you've explained this already, but tumblr search is trash, so I have to ask... why the obsession with michael mann, how did that start?

Oh, man. It’s a long story! In the early days of the pandemic I got a call from my favorite rock musician that he had read a short essay I’d written on his solo album, and he wanted me to contribute a piece to his band’s forthcoming box set. Dream come true obviously, couldn’t say no, so I immediately buckled down on the research end, which for me involved a deeper dive into said musician’s love of film. Mann was on the list of suspects alongside more definitive entries like Coppola and Scorsese, but that turned out to be a happy accident of misreading. (Major shout out to Adam here, by the way, because without his guidance I would have been working with a much more meandering home-brewed syllabus.)

I enjoy movies like any properly adjusted American but they don’t tend to put a spell on me the way music does, or make me want to disassemble the whole contraption piece by piece like a good written story. And Mann’s work was the first time I’d ever encountered films that could have the same effect on me as music and literature. They were hypnotic and enchanting and propulsive, like my favorite records, but they also suggested this dense subterranean architecture of potential meaning, obscured from immediate view but very much there and carefully, deliberately encoded. In other words, these films were like texts imploring (really, daring) you to interpret them.

That’s Mann’s methodology in a nutshell, basically — it’s a seduction gambit, and on me it worked spectacularly! It tapped into my grotesque hedonic animal brain and sparked an intellectual curiosity as well. For me that combination has a narcotic quality that’s hard to explain, but I have an addictive personality. And the more I watched his work, the more it ensnared me like The Footage.* (“WHAT is going on? What is this film doing to me??” Etc.) You have to understand I have no prior experiential basis for this, so as far as I’m concerned it’s witchcraft. By the time I turn in my piece for the box set I have this collateral situation developing, ha ha, oh no, and here I am three years later.

Initially I had wondered if Mann had been an influence on Dulli, but it turned out to be a case of convergent evolution. Or something akin to it. I think they’re just similar in terms of what subject matter they’re attracted to, maybe in their modes of perception and how they make aesthetic/narrative sense of the world. And there is some part of me that keys into that sensibility — whichever part precedes organized expression, maybe even conscious comprehension — and finds it cathartic and liberating and all that good stuff. (I’m a Safety First adrenaline junkie these days so I try to limit my habits to art and pop culture.)

And then he and Meg Gardiner co-wrote an actual book which provoked further investigations, escalations, whatever you want to call them. It turns out that the abyss really DOES stare back into you in the form of numerous spooky historical coincidences. I’m like afraid of Heat 2 at this point because the more I go trawling around in there the more it becomes an eldritch object, LOL. I’m the closest anyone has come to living the film Jumanji, let me put it that way. But the experience has been a blast. And I feel fortunate to have found yet another creator on par with Dulli and Townshend whose work I will be able to take with me and return to over the course of my life, and seek shelter in in that way.

*EVERYBODY READ PATTERN RECOGNITION BY WILLIAM GIBSON!

[batwynn]

I literally offered free work for a few projects because it was a bucket list item for me and I still got turned down. I genuinely don’t know where to go from here because what does that mean about my work when it’s not even worth free?

[yuurionviktor]

Gonna finish Gideon one soon, but for now you can have this Harrow

[puppyeared]

OK OK as much as I like shadowpeach starting as friends consider… hate at first sight <3

[ottosbigtop]

Something about mistranslations and perspectives and trying very very hard.