#orchestrated writing

[orchestrated-haunting]

Random dnd headcannons I had for some characters of the epic cycle because I just had neurons activate. This is gonna be long so they’re mostly under the cut.

Odysseus would be the DM, making riddles and puzzles for the party that he thinks is pretty easy to solve, but the party still spends the entire session trying to solve it.

He likes to fuck around with everyone. Has a doppelgänger infiltrated the party? Yeah probably. Has someone been following the party? Most likely. The party has to be on their toes at all times.

Odysseus plans far in advance for his sessions and somehow (like every dnd party does) the party goes in the completely opposite direction, so Odysseus is improving the majority of the sessions, but thanks to his storytelling abilities literally no one can tell unless Odysseus expresses how much he’s flying by the seat of his pants.

Achilles would prefer to play martial classes like fighter or barbarian. It’s not that he doesn’t like the spell casting classes, he just prefers to be on the front line. Give him a lvl 20 fighter and that man will go HAM.

He falls head over heels for every NPC he meets. He wants to smooch every single one. The rest of the party just sigh at his antics.

He and doors hate each other (he spent like 5 turns trying to open a locked door before he eventually got pissed off and just broke it down).

Patroclus prefers tanky classes that can also support the others so cleric and paladin are the classes he tends to play.

That being said he still loves to do damage. His main build is almost always a battle cleric so he can still heal but leave the majority of it to someone who is exclusively a healer.

Hector, man, he’d likely multiclass between something that’s support but also a martial class. I could see him playing a Paladin build the most often.

I think he tried to play a full caster class once and decided there was just to many things to keep on top of for himself, but he still enjoyed how useful spells are so he doesn’t mind a half caster class.

And while the majority of the party are probably chaotic neutral, he plays almost exclusively lawful characters. His characters almost always have a strict set of morals and a code that they follow.

I could see Paris playing caster classes. Give him any charisma caster, warlock, bard, etc. and he is having the time of his life.

Like Achilles I think he would try and romance so many NPCs, and boy does he use that charisma stat to its full potential. If he’s a bard you better assume he’s also using bardic inspiration on himself.

Penthesilea and Achilles are always trying to one up each other. She almost exclusively plays barbarians and if Achilles is playing one as well they WILL keep a kill count to see who ends up having killed the most by the end of the campaign.

She’s the starter of the tavern brawls, to which Achilles and Patroclus gladly join in. She’s also the one who is always the test dummy if the party is afraid of traps or failing a puzzle.

“What if it’s trapped??”

“I open the door.”

“Take 2d6 fire damage.”

At first you’d think Circe would play spellcasting classes but she does enough of that as is she’d want to do something completely opposite like a rouge. She’d love that.

I can see her giggling after pick pocketing one of the other party members while she just waits for them to figure it out. She’s a menace in a different way than either Achilles of Paris.

She’s not trying to romance any NPCs if she wanted to romance someone she’d just choose a real person. But boy her characters have sticky fingers.

[thatpunnyperson]

According to NBC here in the US, the missing titanic sub has been found. As debris. Off the bow of the Titanic wreckage.

And it looks like the sub suffered what we all suspected, and what was undoubtedly the more merciful of the two options: a catastrophic implosion from the pressure.

Also, more info has come to light about the fishing trawler with the hundreds of migrants that sank cataclysmically off the coast of Greece, indicating that the greek coast guard knew about the vessel AND how much trouble the vessel was in, and were towing it at a speed that made it capsize, at which point they unhooked the tow line and watched the trawler sink without helping the passengers to safety. Despite a bunch of other ships trying to help as well throughout the whole ordeal.

So a lot of people are dead, all because of regulations (and the lack thereof) regarding sea-faring vessels and rescue protocols. People shouldnt be allowed to make a business charging a ton of money for a ride on an uncertified, unsafe, un-seaworthy ship going deep into the ocean with no distress beacon or tether to the mothership. People also shouldnt be allowed to enact laws that criminalize the ferrying of refugees, which then force the refugees to hitch rides on fishing trawlers, and which also prevent people from helping those fishing trawlers full of refugees due to fear of legal consequences.

Hopefully BOTH of these events spark changes on an international scale in terms of what is legally allowed to be sailed, who is legally allowed to be the passengers, and what the rescue protocols are in the event of disaster for any seafaring vessel, illegal or not. It shouldnt be just the global 1% who get 24/7 search parties and remote-operated submersibles helping rescue them.

[jasontoddsass]

To Gotham's elite, Red Hood is a dangerous murderer with a steadily growing criminal empire. He has no limits, he's unpredictable, and even Batman hesitates before stepping up to fight him.

To Gotham's underground? To it's poor and downtrodden, Red Hood is a guardian angel. He walks sex workers home at night. The minute a drug dealer even thinks about hanging out near a school, they've got a bullet through the knee. Red Hood fist-bumps the kids walking through crime ally and plays lookout when they run jobs. He's their protector, their Saint. Red Hood is their hero.

[sixteenth-days]

what if watcher-ified bdubs for fanon swap

"Ow," Bdubs says, or maybe thinks, and then he's on the floor.

Oh, hello, floor, very nice to see you here. He blinks down at the cut granite in front of his nose. And then blinks again, and it's tuff. Again, and it's red carpet. Again, and Ren's whole throne room is surrounding him, above and below and on either side, and there's the sky out the window and the stripped-wood tiles of the roof, and-

Uh-oh. This again.

His head hurts. When he closes his eyes, or tries to, the granite disappears, but nothing else does.

That's a point in the negative for 'ignore it and it'll go away', which is unfortunate, because that's been his going strategy until this point. But the migraines and the weird visual glitches have been getting, if anything, more frequent, not less, and sooner or later somebody's gonna start asking questions he doesn't have any answers to.

He sort of suspects that Grian might have noticed already, or at least that he knows something, given the increasingly alarmed glances he's been shooting his way- but really, whatever is going on, it can wait. It's going to have to.

He blinks again, and the series of events lays itself out in front of his eyes, all neat-like: Ren's coronation, the diamonds, the quests, the taxes, the resistance. Seeing it puts him at ease; reminds him of his purpose. He can go talk to Grian... later. Maybe. Eventually. Once this is all said and done.

Cause he's got this storyline all set up, and he absolutely needs to see it through.

[ajcrowlor]

It's so clear now that you are all that I have I have no fear cos you are all that I have

so i decided i wasn't actually all that happy with the background of this piece and redid it haha :'D

again, this is from a post-series Empty rescue plotbunny, it's yet another image of Dean and Cas in freefall (which is probs from watching too much Eureka Seven in hs), and have the soundtrack that is both inspired by this scene and acted as inspiration to draw this (mostly Snow Patrol's You're All I Have and Signal Fire being blasted on repeat):

(also how the FUCK do yall size your procreate shit for tumblr? i feel like everything i post looks like a pic i took with my first slide phone circa 2008... it makes potato quality look good *sobbing*)

[rougepancake]

𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐌 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐒

FT. Dio Brando; AFAB! Reader

PLAYLIST ; WORD COUNT: 2.8k

My submission for @dolcezzzza’s cabin collab event

WARNINGS: DARK CONTENT. MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DNI. Vampire Dio, rough sex, marking, Dio’s sexy vampire fangs, extremely dubious consent, creepy Dio, non-consensual touching, noncon themes, gore, religious & sacrilegious themes, Dio being treated as a god, slight soft sex??, implied breeding, implied objectification

SUMMARY: You and your… rather odd friend get snowed in a cabin together in the middle of summer. What you don’t know is that he’s withholding some rather interesting information from you. Just what exactly have you gotten yourself into?

Snow. What a beautiful sight it is when it’s falling from the sky. How gorgeous it can be when the light reflects off of it just right. It’s glorious in its own right, as is life.

Regardless of the time of season, snow perseveres. It thrives at the tops of mountains in the coldest of temperatures, shining brightly at those who seek it out.

Snow is the most enjoyable in a cabin. Where one can do as they please and sit up in their chair with a book and a cup of coffee.

That’s exactly why you and your friend booked a cabin in Lapland, Finland.

Though, for whatever reason, your friend was incredibly sensitive to the sunlight. He claimed that he would simply burn alive if he were to ever come into contact with it. This ‘allergy’ of his was the main problem for you while you were trying to book a cabin. Because how in the world were you supposed to find a cabin with little to no sunlight??

“It’s a shame that Jonathan and Erina couldn’t join us.” You looked up from your book and over at your friend, who was sitting in the dark corner of the room, watching the sunset in disgust. He ignored you completely, his eyes fixed on the window. “Oh. Do you want me to close the curtains?”

“It’s snowing.”

“It is indeed.”

A long, pregnant pause followed.

“It’s summer.”

“We’re in Lapland.”

It always snows in Lapland, he ought to know this by now. Actually, he simply just ought to know better. You were the one that paid for the whole thing, and he didn’t seem to respect that one bit. A part of you wanted to think that he expected it of you, but you shut it down immediately. He was your friend. And as much of a douche bag as he was, you didn’t take him as the type to take advantage of you. He wasn’t supposed to take advantage of you.

Your friend sighed heavily and rose to his feet, retreating further into the darkness. He didn’t seem to be in the mood to talk this over with you. He was acting like it was your fault that it was snowing, when, clearly, there was no way for such a thing to be possible. His attitude towards it was really starting to get on your nerves, especially since this vacation was his idea.

“Dio come back,” you frowned as he left. The sun was now setting, which meant he would want to go out soon. Though, you didn’t know why. You never knew why. He’d often leave in the middle of the night, coming and going without saying a word. “Come now, Dio. We can wait for the sun to set together.” You watched him slide on his coat and reach for his boots. “What are you doing?”

“It’s snowing. I want to make sure I can leave later.” With a huff, he leaned against the wall and forced his boots onto his feet. “I do not wish to be stuck here with some harlot. Especially when-” He cut himself off, avoiding your gaze. It was bold of him to call you a harlot when you were the one with the money.

And boy did Dio love money.

“Especially when what, Dio? Do not forget that you’re the one who wanted to come on vacation with me. I’m not going to listen to you bitch and moan like a child, do you understand?” You placed a hand on your hip, your eyes following his movements. He scoffed and shrugged off your comment, his hand resting on the doorknob. He could feel the cold through the wooden door, and he frowned at the thought. Would he really be stuck here with you?

“Don’t speak to me like that.” Dio opened the door and was met with a wall of snow, one that towered over the doorway and ensured that you were stuck with the blonde. Silence swept over the two of you as you took in the awkwardness of your situation. He was clearly upset, slamming the door shut with a grunt before turning to meet your gaze. “Why didn’t you check the forecast?” He growled. His tone of voice caused you to shiver, and your breath caught in your throat. Why was he so mad all of a sudden? What plans did he have that were so damn important that he just had to leave right now?

“Why didn’t you do it yourself? You’re the one who stays cooped up in his room all day and doesn’t leave until night.” You returned his tone, giving him a frustrated look as you spoke. “What do you even do at night, hm? Flaunt around to get laid? I don’t wanna hear it from you. Actually, I don’t wanna hear anything from you for the rest of the trip. I’m the one who paid for it, so suck it up,” you scoffed and stormed off. Your book was waiting for you, as was your peaceful vacation. You weren’t about to let his mood ruin your day.

You could feel his eyes on you as you walked back to the den of the cabin. They practically bore holes into your back, searing straight through your clothing along with your skin. What you had said definitely struck a nerve.

“I suppose there’s nothing I can do about it,” you mumbled to yourself as you reached for your book once again, taking a moment to admire the beautiful summer snow outside of your cabin. Though, the thought of reading now bored you. In fact, you’d much rather chat with that jerk that you called a friend, but he was in too much of a bad mood to allow such a thing to happen. It was a shame that Jonathan hadn’t come, maybe then he’d be able to help you deal with Dio. Or at least he could help you learn how to appease him.

With a huff, you rose from your seat once again. You wanted to head to the kitchen, but you didn’t overly feel like cooking, so you opted out and headed to the conservatory. The snow made the room look brighter as it clung to the windows, reflecting the setting sun beautifully. Damn that snow, leaving you trapped with Dio. What did he even do at night anyways? Was he some form of vampire?? You scoffed at the idea. Vampires didn’t exist, after all. They were merely tall tales created to scare tourists away from historical areas. Nothing more, nothing less.

Though, there were many times where you found yourself questioning if Dio was even a human. It was all in the way that he acted. He carried himself in a way that simply exuded confidence, far more than any other person you’d met. He was incredibly strong, and way more intelligent than Jonathan. Sure they sound like normal things, making him sound like some random try hard from England, but to you that wasn’t the case.

In your mind, Dio Brando was an enigma, about as well understood as God. No one really questioned his actions, because no one was brave enough to challenge him. And it surely didn’t help that he was as intimidating as he was beautiful. His body looked as if it were chiseled and sculpted by the finest of artists, as each muscle was defined in such a sickeningly gorgeous manner that made him hard to ignore.

Regardless of how you felt, you knew that it would be best to push your feelings to the side. Sure he was hot, but he was also an inconsiderate prick. About the only time he cared about anything was if it affected his wellbeing. Though, you and Jonathan were used to it by now.

The more you thought, the more guilty you felt for getting upset with him. It’s not his fault that he can’t go out in the sun, so why blame him for it? That wasn’t fair of you. It was a low blow, really. Maybe you should apologize—

Just then, a rather loud thud came from upstairs, startling you out of your thoughts. The sun had completely set by now, with the full moon shining brightly in the sky behind you. It alarmed you to hear something so disruptive. And as your panic set in, you made your way up the stairs, praying that you wouldn’t find your friend dead on the floor.

“Dio? Are you feeling alright?” You called out, peeking up into the hallway anxiously. Silence met you in response, only to be interrupted by a loud groan from Dio’s bedroom. “Hello? Dio please answer me-“ You scrambled up the stairs, your eyes wide. All you could really hear was the thrumming of your own heart, as it was loud enough to overpower your racing mind.

“Go away.” His voice rang out and you froze. What was with his tone? Had he injured himself? Either way, it drove you to get closer to his room.

“C-Come on, Dio! The most you could do is let me help you!” You paused. What were you saying? You didn’t care about him that much, did you? Hesitantly, you placed your hand on the doorknob to his room. “Dio?” You were answered with another groan, this one seemingly more strained than the last. It was beginning to make you nervous. “I’m coming in-!”

“Did you not hear me wench?!” He shouted at you, his voice seemingly farther away than before. “I said go away!”

His tone caught you off guard, causing you to shake. Was his voice… wavering? No- it couldn’t be. Dio would never show any form of weakness to you, regardless of how close you are. He knew better than that.

You frowned and glared at the door, lowering your hand from the doorknob with a frown.“Fine! Fucking be that way you dick!” You stomped your foot and huffed angrily. Why did you even bother? All your kindness would do was backfire, so there was no point in trying to be nice to him. But you tried anyways, which upset you further.

The sudden sound of his bedroom door flying off its hinges caused you to scream loudly, pure terror spreading throughout your body and forcing you to freeze. His heavy breathing along with yours echoed in the hallway, his heavy steps echoing loudly within your ears. That strength… it was inhuman.

“What did you just call me?” His voice was low, just quiet enough to be menacing. “Don’t be shy, say it again bitch.” He was behind you now, bent over so his lips could hover above the skin on your neck. This was a side of Dio that you had never seen before, and it frightened you. He was much bolder than usual, his hands wandering along your sides as he waited patiently for you to respond to him.

“I said you’re a dick, a real son of a b-bitch,” you didn’t know what came over you, and your body tensed further when his long fingers caressed your throat. You felt like a woman in a medieval painting, cradled by a monster who was too beautiful to be the same creature as you.

“You know, your veins are really something…” Dio trailed off into silence. It was incredibly hard to ignore his lustful tone, and it took everything you had to not turn around and meet his lidded eyes. His hand tightened around your throat, forcing a whine to pass through your lips. You couldn’t believe this was real. Was he really this close to you? Honestly, under different circumstances, you wouldn’t have minded.

For Dio Brando was simply that divine of a being.

“Your blood must taste as amazing as it smells…” The words caught you further off guard, and if you could, you would have run away and never looked back. But why? Dio was supposed to be your friend, someone you could trust to protect you if need be. You shouldn’t be afraid of him. It just didn’t feel right. Even if he was a monster, it didn’t feel right.

Your instinct, nine times out of ten, was right. And you should have listened to it and run, but as Dio led you into his bedroom, you knew it was over. Lines had been crossed, and each step he took dragged you closer to the point of no return. The regret pooling in your stomach was almost great enough to drown out the pain of Dio’s fangs breaking your skin. His sharp nails tore through your clothing, and he wasted no time in tossing them across the room. With every move he made, a plea escaped you, but you argued in vain. Dio couldn’t have cared less, you knew this.

“Do you have any idea how long I’ve dreamt of this moment?” He whispered into your ear, his left hand trailing down your bare stomach at a tauntingly slow pace. It stopped at your core, hovering over it as if to prove a point.

His fingers slipped into you with ease, relentlessly stretching your cunt so that you stood a chance at being able to take him. Horrible things were whispered to you, things that made you tighten around his fingers helplessly.

“H-Hah- Dio- don’t stop, please—“ You grabbed his arm and squirmed, squeezing your eyes shut as you felt your high building up. It was an all too familiar feeling, and it was stolen from you within seconds by the monster behind you.

“That’s Lord Dio, to you, got it?” His fangs grazed your neck at the same time his thumb discovered your clit. A whine escaped you, loud and shameful. You couldn’t even form a single coherent sentence, your mind going fully numb as your hips bucked upwards for more friction.

“Yes-! Lord D-Dio, I- ah-“ His thumb pressed down harshly onto your clit, purposefully interrupting you. At this point, there was no telling what his goal was.

“Now, where were we?” Dio rolled you over effortlessly, shoving your face into the pillows with a shit eating grin. “Ah yes, I was about to make you my bitch.” He forced his cock into the heat of your cunt, a low groan escaping him in the process.

Screams and cries echoed throughout the cabin, a cruel reminder that you were alone with the mythical Dio. Yet you couldn’t seem to drown in your remorse, not when he was making you feel so horribly good. It was almost as if you were thankful that he fucked like the god he pretended to be.

A loud groan left him, and he threw his head back in pleasure. His lips were parted in bliss, sweat coating his forehead as his hair fell into his face.

“My my, you took me so well…” He released his grip on you and allowed you to turn around and look at him. His eyes flickered with lust at the sight of your fucked out expression. It was as if the sight of your beauty had stunned him into silence. Was he just now noticing how gorgeous you were?

“L-Lord Dio…” You shifted uncomfortably, avoiding his gaze. His cock was still buried deep inside you, causing a bulge to form on your stomach. It was something you could get high off of.

He leaned in quickly, his eyes shining brightly as he observed you. How many people had he slept with again? And yet, not one of them was able to make him feel this way.

“I could make you a goddess, you know,” Dio whispered, his tone anything but soft. His breathing grew to be heavier than usual, as if he was waiting for you to agree so he could continue blowing your back out. “You would be my queen…”

His hips began to move once more, slower than before so he could feel you better. His eyes didn’t dare to leave yours, his fangs peeking over his lips as he fucked you.

“From now on, you shall be mine. Got it?” His voice was low and quiet, soft grunts escaping him here and there as he picked up his pace. He had reduced you to a whining mess, objectifying you in just about one of the best ways possible.

You thought, at least.

“Let me fill you with my seed, you filthy being,” he called out, his thrusts sloppy and erratic. “Bear my child, give me an heir.”

Rumor has it that what happens in the cold mountains of Lapland is to stay there, forever lost amongst it’s beautiful scenery. No one speaks about what they’ve seen, for they immediately forget once they lay their eyes upon the glorious yearlong snow.

Ah, snow. It gleams underneath the summer sun, as if to smile at its enemies. How beautiful it can be in its perseverance, spreading its numbing cold to the areas around it effortlessly.

Snow is the most enjoyable in a cabin, where one can kick up their feet and read a book beside the fireplace with a cup of coffee.

That’s exactly why you and your friend booked a cabin in Lapland, Finland.

[capn-o-my-soul]

okie okie so i made a thing

(it's not calligraphy)

so for about a month now i've been writing my own version of a film score to accompany The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari, but it is taking a little bit longer than anticipated. i finished Act 1 of 6 today, which is about 12.5 minutes long. please give it a listen and tell me your thoughts!

DISCLAIMER

the audio in the video is a MIDI preview, not an actual performance. with this comes some less than desirable things like the balance is kinda whack, etc. etc.

there is one part (in the clerk's office) where a muted trombone does a crescendo over a long note, then plays a short accented note. the long note is supposed to go all the way until the short note, but for some reason, the MIDI rendering cuts the long note a bit shorter than it should be.

enjoy!

the video is too big for tumblr, so here's a google drive link

if you're trying to access it within a few minutes of me posting this, it probably needs to process a little while before it is viewable, or you can download it.

[scattered-winter]

"oh i can't listen to classical music it puts me to sleep lol" PLEASE please for the love of god. expand your worldview. the world can be so so beautiful if you look for it

[radialarch]

family-friendly (M | 1k | Alex/Julian)

“I'd like you to kneel down here,” Julian says, and points to the carpet at his feet.

just to be clear: this isn't rpf so much as it is just writing down what happened in s16e10

[orchestrated-haunting]

Some College AU Headcannons

Diarmuid Ua Duibhne

A cultural anthropology major with a focus on what the knight archetype implies, and how its changes depending on the cultural implications.

Wore a face mask pre COVID-19 to cover his mole, and thanks to the pandemic it became more normalized for him to so.

He goes to parties if he knows one of his friends will be present, often playing drinking games with Fionn and Cu.

Flirts with his friends quite to the point outside observers can’t tell if it was platonic or romantic.

Cu Chuclainn

As irritating as it can be at times he enjoys being in veterinary school.

He fosters dogs and has had several foster fails. One of them being a small white fluffy dog that is a little bit crusty, (causing his friends to make jokes of him being a rich white mom who owns a yacht).

Tried taking his pals on fishing trips but the only one who would come after a few trips is Fionn.

Iskander

The big man enjoys his maps, so naturally he became a geography major who minored in classics.

He’s a part of the wresting team and his friends joke about burying their faces into his tiddies saying things such as “normalize friend group homoerotism”.

Iskander got very into strategy games, and his not so guilty pleasure game is the Fire Emblem series.

Waver

A freshmen history major who is very out of his element.

Ended up getting adopted by Iskander because he ended up accidently bumping into him checking his phone.

He’s honestly terrified of Iskander’s friends but he keeps getting dragged into their hangouts. He eventually develops a soft spot for all of them, and cried when some of them graduated.

Identifies as a part of the LGBTQ+ community but isn’t sure how to label it, whether in regards to gender or sexuality.

[13lizardsinatrenchcoat]

The school for good and evil (2022) was so beautiful to look at but so poorly written and acted.

[pradaxstyles]

im a sucker for an orchestral piece where you can feel the desperation, the sadness, the longing. where it eats you up in a way thats indescribable. I want to fell every single emotion in a piece, I want it to give me goosebumps, make me understand what it's trying to convey. like yes tell me what you're trying to say with just beautiful sounds, I want it all

[rox-and-prose]

The Tree Law situation with the WGA strike is mildly entertaining but I can't help but wonder if they didn't account for the fines they'd be incurring when they decided to put a number of people in serious danger. Like, this may or may not have been an error in judgment when it comes to paying fines to the city government, but they still basically said we'd rather these people get sick and possibly die than pay them.

[see-arcane]

Me while reading it "I need to read King In Yellow! I want to see scenes of this illustrated!"

Me now: "I need to read more fic about Jonathan and Mina's love 🙃🙃🙃 Just that or while they're fighting more bad guys and monsters"

But I still want the first part too lol

The King in Yellow short stories can be read here

Ambrose Bierce's (earlier!) short story, "An Inhabitant of Carcosa," can be read here

Aaand my personal favorite short story of Algernon Blackwood's, from which [SPOILER CHARACTER] takes a jab at [LOVECRAFTIAN SPOILER CHARACTER] for being unoriginal in his secret machinations and inflicting otherworldly Knowledge That Seeds Madness, is "The Man Who Found Out," available here*

*(Pour one out for Professor Mark Ebor, my most beloved and underrated nice old man blorbo)

As to Jonathan and Mina being loving and lovingly kicking evil's ass, you will just have to wait for @mayhemchicken-artblog's comic c:

[veilkeeper]

im gonna be honest roz is having a bad time right now

i think i've been pretty clear about this but i think it's time i made a dedicated post about how bad of a time roz is having as of early act 3, because we kind of left off on a high in act 2 and it's been all downhill from there. so let's summarize. roz enjoyers, read on.

first the act starts with the emperor reveal. this is fucked in and of itself, not just because roz is a githyanki and the emperor is a mindflayer keeping their prince subdued, but because it is confirmation that they have trusted and sacrificed for someone who has been lying to them, and they're kind of locked into a dynamic with him that they don't know how to untangle themself from (more on this in an upcoming post). especially since....

they're partial-illithid, and not by choice. this is the real trigger of basically everything that comes next, at least regarding their emotional state. this is the thing that makes them feel violated and isolated and like they can't talk to anyone, and is the real heart behind the insecurity they're bringing to everything else.

astarion really wants to do the ritual, and it is becoming increasingly clear that that's a terrible idea. everything they learn about it implies more and more that it's going to require doing something monstrous (because of course) and that it's going to change astarion in ways neither of them can predict. please look at the point above. roz is not really stoked about changes they can't predict or control right now.

but... even though they think it's a terrible idea to go through with the ritual, astarion really wants to. and while roz has trouble saying no at the best of times, theyre definitely not in a good state to do it now, especially since astarion is pulling out all the stops with the "manipulative boyfriend" bingo he seems to be playing. paralyzing fear of abandonment + targeted manipulation + intense insecurity = a not great roz

all of this is of course also compounded by the fact that because of where astarion is emotionally (namely, terrified that cazador is going to whisk him away and use everything he cares about against him), astarion is also not exactly forthcoming with the touchy-feely stuff either, so roz is getting absolutely no feedback from him that like... they matter to him, and that he isn't one of the many, many people who seem to be using them.

and then, halsin propositions them. and while i stand by everything i said in my long meta post about the polymance being good, actually, for roz specifically in this exact moment, i think they're saying yes more out of a desire to be desired and to just turn off their brain and do what someone else wants, and less because they think this is a good idea right now. halsin is a great guy who makes them feel safe, but they are not in a headspace to properly make a decision on this but... well. they did.

and raphael and the emperor (and soon gortash, i believe) are playing tug-of-war with roz's loyalties and roz is basically being forced to decide which Terrible Guy to trust for more than two seconds. because even if they don't trust any of them, one of them has to protect them from their tadpole long enough to actually stop the world from ending.

oh, and because it shouldn't be overlooked: they are being tasked with saving the world.

basically at this point every time i play i'm just thinking "is this the moment they have a terrible mental break down? is this the moment they have a terrible mental break down?" it's like pulling an elastic too far. they're going to have to snap sometime, right?

[make-a-little-mischief]

I'm obsessed with this clip

Oldie but goodie

The passion and intensity that Jerry conducted with is so much fun - this is what music is all about 🎶