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mostlymovieswithmax · 3 years

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Movies I watched in September

I skipped a month again. But not to worry. This is a wrap-up of all the movies I watched in the month of September (2021). I think I maintained a steady ratio throughout but perhaps there’s not as much on the list this time because I wanted to get on with other things, be that work-wise or just trying to get out to the beach as much as possible and make the most of the last dregs of summertime. I went swimming in the sea a lot! But I also got to catch the new James Wan movie, Malignant (twice!) as well as the new James Bond, No Time To Die. Not to mention a couple of classics! My hope again with this list is to introduce people to new movies that they may otherwise not have seen or perhaps have never have heard of. These short reviews are my own subjective opinions on each individual movie. I’m thinking maybe a more informal approach to movie criticism can help include others who are just passing through. So here is every film I watched from the 1st to the 30th of September.

Fanny and Alexander (1982) - 8/10

Coming from Ingmar Bergman, I was surprised to see just how warm this was. I’m a big fan of the Swedish director and while this isn’t my favourite from him (perhaps due to it needing a second watch, or the fact I watched it in three chunks because it’s about three hours long and I overestimated how much time I had in the day) it’s still an interesting departure from what I’ve come to expect from him. Fanny and Alexander is a dreamy Christmassy movie that presents an overarching theme of love, spending a large portion of its runtime just hanging out with this big family on Christmas and showing how close they are. I would love to watch this again at some point in December and see how my opinion shifts but for now, while it could meandre in places, I can’t deny how unique a movie it is.

Another Round (2021) - 10/10

I had seen Thomas Vinterberg’s latest film before this point but this was the first time I got to see it in a cinema. Luckily for me my local independent cinema was showing it one night and while they had a few technical hiccups with setting everything up, the movie itself was still fantastic. Following a handful of school teachers who experiment with whether they can maintain a certain level of blood alcohol throughout the day, Another Round demonstrates a sense of unease and sadness throughout an otherwise comedic tone. These emotions are balanced perfectly, boosting an already intriguing concept that examines our relationship with alcohol from every angle.

Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (2021) - 4/10

Straight after Another Round, I made my way to the chain cinema to meet up with friends to see the new Marvel movie. At this point, having had my second dose of the Covid vaccine that morning, I was starting to feel the effects and I was not doing well. But I watched the movie anyway, all the while wanting to be in bed. Shang-Chi was massively underwhelming and I’d go as far as to say it was even incompetent. Truth be told, I like the Marvel Cinematic Universe but from the get-go I already wasn’t hyped for this movie and I was expecting it to be about mediocre but what I got was something a lot worse. I won’t rehash what I’ve already said on this film so if you want to hear me rant about it a bit then I would recommend checking out episode 47 of my podcast, The Sunday Movie Marathon.

Your Name. (2016) - 6/10

Ultimately this was a fun little romance movie but I can’t say I understand why people adore it, nor do I understand why it needed to be animated. For what it’s worth, I found it cute and entertaining but nothing much jumped out to me.

Phil Wang: Philly Philly Wang Wang (2021) - 7/10

I’m always stumped on what to say about stand-up shows. It was good! I enjoyed Phil Wang talking about different things in a funny way and it got some laughs out of me. Admittedly I’m writing this a couple of weeks after watching it but it’s certainly a decent way to spend an hour if you’re looking for something light and fun.

The Lego Batman Movie (2017) - 6/10

I remember seeing this in the cinema with two of my friends and the theatre wasn’t exactly packed but those that were there were either children or parents. But I like The Lego Batman Movie! Clearly this was made by fans of the character as it’s packed with a lot of details and references from old comic runs but as someone who has never read the comics or seen those older movies, it still managed to be entertaining and while I won’t say it’s quite as good as The Lego Movie, the animation is still top notch and the voice actors are certainly giving it their all, especially Will Arnett as the titular character. It’s just a bit of fun!

Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) - 10/10

A friend of mine told me to go to the screening of Terminator 2 at my local because they themselves weren’t able to attend. The first Terminator movie is a real gem and one of the most 80’s-type movies I’ve ever seen. I was excited to watch T2, remembering next to nothing about what I watched of it when I was a child. So it was just me in this screening, with one person in a row in front of me, and one other person behind me. If I had it my way, I would have been the only person there because this is honestly one of the best movies I’ve ever seen and it was very hard not to yell out every time something incredible happened, especially when it’s so action-packed and basically goes all out at every opportunity to deliver some of the most jaw-dropping effects or choreography. Truly there is never a dull moment and I was grinning like a lunatic the entire time. This film rocks!

Mirror (1975) - 7/10

Andrei Tarkovsky is one of my favourite directors and the new Criterion release of his film, Mirror, had been on my shelf for a while. My friend and fellow podcast co-host, Chris, was also interested in watching this movie so we decided we’d give it a watch and review it on the podcast. But this is such a weirdly structured film that the entire way through, neither of us knew what on earth was happening. What we got from the experience is reflected in the episode we made and I would love to watch this again at some point, hopefully with more context and a better understanding of what I’m in for. But in the meantime, you can hear the discussion on episode 46 of the podcast.

The Night House (2021) - 6/10

The Night House is David Bruckner’s follow-up to his previous movie, The Ritual and while I’ll say I prefer The Ritual, this is still a decent watch, just don’t go in expecting horror. More of my thoughts can be found in episode 46 of the podcast.

The Ritual (2017) - 7/10

After watching The Night House, I decided to go back to the director’s previous film, The Ritual and I got a lot more out of it this time around. Themes of guilt and grief permeate the movie and the result is this weird and unnerving film about a group of guys who go hiking in Sweden after the death of one of their friends and encounter dark forces beyond their comprehension. It can be drawn out at times and probably could have been boosted with a better script but there are so many interesting and strange ideas presented that culminate in a haunting third act that it’s worth watching just to see what on earth they’re being hunted by.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975) - 10/10

Straight after recording an episode about our favourite movies on the podcast, I returned to one of my all-time favourites. Holy Grail is such a fantastically funny movie with so many memorable lines and moments that it’s become a staple in the comedy genre. Setting it in Arthurian England is a surefire way to make sure it stands the test of time, making use of the budget in a way that heightens the comedy, for example: not being able to get horses and so resorting to having a man banging two coconut halves together as they skip through the grassy terrain. It’s the writing that really takes centre stage here; the guys from Monty Python were/are geniuses. A couple more points were made on my podcast so please do listen to that to hear more: Episode 46 of The Sunday Movie Marathon

Malignant (2021) - 7/10

The new James Wan movie was bonkers! I saw this one twice in quick succession without hesitation. To find out why I love it so much, listen to episode 47 of the podcast.

A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) - 8/10

We got a marathon of the first three Nightmare on Elm Street movies on the podcast so we watched them in quick succession within a day. This first movie is a true masterpiece of its time. For more insight, listen to episode 47 of the podcast.

A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2: Freddy’s Revenge (1985) - 2/10

Quite an embarrassing departure from the genius and fun of the original. Elm Street 2 is not only technically unfulfilling but a wholly unentertaining movie to boot. More thoughts in episode 47 of the podcast.

A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987) - 3/10

While only a few hairs better than its predecessor, Elm Street 3 is still a mere shadow of the original. All in all, these second and third instalments in the franchise have put me off watching any of the others. More thoughts in episode 47 of the podcast.

Her (2013) - 10/10

Her is at once a beautiful love story between a man and an AI, and a scarily accurate look at how technology is expanding and moving forward. It uses warm colours and smooth camera work to create something that feels homely and safe, juxtaposing the often cold and dark feeling of science-fiction films to tell an intrinsically human story. What would it be like to go through this and what are the hurdles that need to be overcome? Her is a masterpiece of filmmaking and it left me emotionally exhausted in all the right ways.

Alien (1979) - 10/10

First time I’ve seen Alien in the cinema (as I was too busy not being born yet to see it on an initial release) and it was amazing! This is cosmic horror at its best. With all the eerie sound design, slow and deliberate camera movement, and outstanding effects, there’s no wonder as to why this is considered one of the greats and seeing it on the big screen was enthralling.

Aliens (1986) - 8/10

I had never seen Aliens before so the opportunity to see it for the first time in a cinema was one I could not pass up, especially since I was able to see it straight after the first. This is more of an action movie than the first one and as that, it was really something to see. While I don’t think it quite measures up to the original, James Cameron does bring a style to it that makes it something completely different while still feeling in line with its predecessor. A problem I’ve found as time goes on is that I don’t find myself thinking much about Aliens whatsoever and that’s probably down to its characters who generally I found quite weak. I’m already not big on standard action flicks and this is a clear cut above those but it does still fall victim to the trappings. That being said, I would in no way call this bad or even mediocre because it was a lot fun and being able to see it in the cinema is an experience I’m very grateful for.

Gunpowder Milkshake (2021) - 6/10

Gunpowder Milkshake is trying very hard to be John Wick and although it never really manages it, there is still fun to be had with its action (because really that’s all this movie has to offer). There’s a very creative scene in which Karen Gillan has to fight some goons in a hospital with a gun taped to one hand and a scalpel taped to the other, with the caveat being that her arms don’t work. Despite that and a good enough performance from Gillan, the rest is very goofy, with a villain about as intriguing as an advert for life insurance and a story that to say the least, leaves much to be desired.

I Lost My Body (2019) - 10/10

Another one for the podcast, I Lost My Body is a glorious cerebral animated piece that hits every nerve in my body. Listen to episode 48 for more.

Alice In Wonderland (1951) - 10/10

Perhaps the best early Disney movie in my humble opinion. Alice In Wonderland is complete insanity, doing things simply for the sake of it in a beguiling dreamlike take on Lewis Carroll’s classic book. Listen to episode 48 of The Sunday Movie Marathon for more.

WALL-E (2008) - 9/10

WALL-E is one of Pixar’s best. It is a cautionary tale of where the world is headed wrapped in a sweet story about going to the ends of the solar system in order to help those you love. I do however have one big problem with this movie and you can find out more in episode 48 of the podcast.

Killing Them Softly (2012) - 6/10

A lot about America’s economy at the time, Killing Them Softly goes about showing the lengths people will go to for money and yes it is generally solid with a fantastic speech by Brad Pitt to cap it off, but it cannot avoid meandering scenes of listless dialogue that neither engage me nor make me care about the characters it presents.

The Dirties (2013) - 6/10

Funny! The Dirties is a mockumentary about two guys making a movie about bullies in their school. While often it was generally chugging along and making me laugh, it tended to err on the side of plain as regards its presentation. A lot of scenes happen for the sake of it and in a movie that’s around an hour and twenty, it’s amazing I still managed to dip out in the latter half. More thoughts in episode 49 of the podcast.

Telstar: The Joe Meek Story (2009) - 3/10

Ah, I really hated this. I don’t even want to talk about it anymore. Just listen to episode 49 of the podcast to hear what I had to say.

Blade Runner 2049 (2017) - 10/10

This is my favourite movie! I got to talk about it on my podcast! Listen to episode 49 of The Sunday Movie Marathon to hear what I have to say!

No Time To Die (2021) - 8/10

Best Bond movie? Perhaps. I’ve not seen every Bond movie but of the ones I have seen (which does include all of Daniel Craig’s run), this is as good as it gets. Despite a near three hour runtime, No Time To Die felt as though it wasted very little. I’ve always complained that I could never follow the plot to these movies because often I simply didn’t care about it; for me it’s more about the action and seeing Daniel Craig be James Bond. No Time To Die does not escape some of the general tropes that often don’t leave me thinking I’ve watched something masterful but what I will say in its favour is that it’s fucking fun! Don’t expect to love it if you already dislike these movies because generally it stays in the same vein as the others before it, but for Bond fans it’s something totally enjoyable. Captivating cinematography, biting fight choreography and action set-pieces, a core struggle for James who actually goes through relatable hardships his time round, coping with being part of a family and trying to keep them safe.

I was happy to see a bit more attention paid to female characters this go round; in a franchise that often glamorizes Bond’s sexual promiscuity and ability to woo any woman he likes, it was much more refreshing to see that he often did need help from a lot of badass, well written female characters.

No Time To Die has been waiting to be released for a long time now and now it’s actually out, I’m pleased it’s not hot garbage. In fact, quite the opposite is true. The final swan song for Craig’s fifteen-year tenure as one of cinema’s most recognisable heroes outdoes all that came before it. Bravo.

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heartlandians · 4 years

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There is no doubt (in my mind) that this is the best season of Heartland in a long time, maybe the best in the entire history of Heartland. That being said I have an observation.

Season 14 has been primarily about the way Amy, Jack and the rest of the family has been dealing with the loss of Ty. The acting of both Amber Marshall and Shaun Johnston has been outstanding in their dealing with a very tragic subject, but …and in my mind it’s a very big but.

The contrast with the way the show has dealt with the loss of Ty to the loss of Marion, Amy’s mother and Jack’s daughter is striking.

In season 14 the whole season has been about the loss of Ty. Deep conversations, flashbacks, the sadness and grief and uncertainty of what the future holds have been ongoing the entire season. In the first season when Marion died the impact of her loss was nowhere as devastating to the family as the loss of Ty has been. Yes…Amy and Jack did have bad days after Marion died but nowhere at the level when Ty died. The loss of both Marion and Ty was sudden and unexpected. You would think that the loss of Amy’s mother and Jack’s daughter would have had a stronger storyline then what we got. The memory of Marion has always been in the background of Heartland but we know very little of her. If Heartland can come up with all these flashbacks of Ty with Amy and Jack, it would be nice to see flashbacks of Marion with a young Amy and Jack (maybe Shaun’s son can come back and play Jack). Flashbacks with Marion, Amy and Jack may give us a better understanding of why Amy and Jack are the people they are. I know in season 1 the writers and actors were just getting their feet wet and that’s why the stories weren’t has deep as they could have been. Assuming we get season 15 maybe the writers could reintroduce Marion back into the story of Heartland so she could have just as strong of impact with the family’s lives as Ty did.

In season 15 it would be nice to see Heartland going back to the days of Lyndy and Marion along with present day Amy and Jack. It would bring another level to the story of Heartland. If this season is any guide the writers and actors could defiantly pull off a more complicated version of Heartland. Submitted by: Callie ______________________________________

That’s a very good observation and I agree! I have been impressed with the way they’ve dealt this loss and it’s one of the best (if not the best?) ways I’ve seen any show deal with a loss like this, but just like you, I do think we were somewhat robbed in season 1, especially now, looking back (it’s as we are going “We didn’t know it would be possible to have something like this back then too!”). But at the same time I understand that the whole idea was to introduce the audience to a show that is not just about grief, but also about hope, healing, humour and romance, etc. so that’s probably why Marion’s death was more lowkey than Ty’s (not to mention season 1 heavily relied on the books and the topic wasn’t as heavy in them either). Maybe the reason why this season is so good and why it works so well is also the fact that it’s not a repeat of something we’ve already seen; if Marion’s death would’ve been as heavily explored as this, would we still feel this way about season 14. I’m sure in some sense we definitely would, especially given the fact that we have 13 years of history with Ty’s character unlike with Marion (though, of course most people can relate to having a mother, so that works on a more general level).

I have always wished we’d see flashbacks about Marion, more than what we saw in episode 1, and that brings me to something that I think you might find interesting.

Here’s a take from one interview Lisa Langlois (Marion) did many years ago:

“Well, I did something I really thought would be a great bookend for my career. It kind of broke my heart that it didn’t pan out the way I had envisioned it.

I got asked to audition for a show that was going on in Canada called Heartland, based on a series of children’s books. I get killed off and I thought, why would I go in for it? I was told there would be flashbacks to my character all the time -- like in the books. I believed it would be a wonderful steady job, and I would even move my son to Canada and give him a great pastoral upbringing.

But instead, it turned out that the way they handled my part is the other characters take my photograph and look at it and talk about me. It broke my heart because my role was a strong woman that I really liked. I was disappointed.“

Season 1 could’ve been very different, but for some reason the producers/writers changed their minds. While I love season 1, I am also curious about what it could have been. I think, since the moment has kind of passed for Lisa Langlois (not only because she might not want to come back, but also because she’s older than Marion was when she died), they could cast pretty much anyone who looks a bit like her, but is younger, to play a younger version of her and tell Marion’s story and show us things we’ve never seen or heard about before. Depending how young they’d want to go, they could use Kira Murphy, the girl who played young Marion in “The River”, now, years later:

#replies #submission

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leviskokoro · 4 years

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summary｜The espionage group consisting of Mari, Grimm, Ruggie, Leona, Kalim, and Jamil are in need of assistance in order to pull off the plan to take back the magic stone stolen from them by fairies. Fortunately, help has arrived in the form of a worldwide supermodel.

word count｜3385

credit goes to @wakaoujisenhime for giving me the idea to write this!

“Are you saying these guys will be performing during the fashion show? Perhaps you mistook it for a vegetable competition.”

“Puppies, it’s time for training!”

“You guys are…!”

And with those words, Mari knew they were in for a ride. Then again, she did expect this to happen as soon as the Headmaster had explained the situation to her. It seemed like it’d be fun, like an espionage mission for the spy movies she used to watch in her world. How exciting!

“Vil! And Sir Crewel!” Kalim exclaimed with a grin.

“With our support, you guys will definitely become the stars of the fashion show,” Vil spoke as he gazed at the group with a judgemental glint in his lilac eyes. He glanced at the teacher beside him, smirking. “Right, Sir Crewel?”

“Of course, Schoenheit.”

The both of them chuckled.

“The two most troublesome people are here,” Ruggie said, ears folded and eyebrows furrowed.

“Jamil, you asshole. Do you know what you’ve done?” Leona growled, glaring daggers at him.

“I also thought this was a tough decision.” Said boy wore his usual level-headed expression. “Top model Vil and fashionista Sir Crewel. If those two coached us, we could beat this challenge. But in order to make this show a success as amateurs, I could only seek help from them.”

“There’s no one better suited for the job than them,” Mari spoke up, shrugging. It was true. Vil was the one that had always been seen working relentlessly to maintain his beauty and Sir Crewel was known for his talent when it came to fashion. It was impossible to think of anyone else that would rival them in their fields in NRC.

“As expected of Scarabia’s dorm head, he’d do literally anything to achieve his goal. How amazing…” The hyena muttered under his breath.

“Distract the queen-- No, distract the entire audience then snatch the crown away in the meantime. “The title of this operation will be “Monopolize both the crown and their attention”! I will make this a success!” Vil exclaimed, a smirk of pure confidence on his handsome face. The girl often wished she had just an ounce of his self-confidence. Maybe then life would be easier for her.

“Ugh, what a pain…” Leona grumbled.

“Alright. First of all, you guys should have matching costumes,” Crewel told them.

“Would that include us? Ruggie, Grimm, and I won’t really be participating in the fashion show,” Mari asked, raising her hand as if she’s in class.

“Of course! You may not be part of it, but you still need proper clothes in order to sneak in,” he answered. “Entering a formal venue with dirty fur is unacceptable for my puppies.”

Right. Good point.

“Be grateful. I’ll make the most exotic and most exquisite costumes of all time.” Their teacher smirked. “I’ll be the one to make you guys stand out the most!”

And so it had begun. The group had been subjected to wearing countless fabrics to find the perfect one to use. Crewel got to work designing their costumes.

Bursts of sparkles enveloped them, then dissipated to reveal them in the costumes their teacher had designed for them. Everyone was dressed in pristine white clothes with floral patterns and flowers in their hair.

“How’s that? You could clearly see a bunch of puppies with gorgeous fur.” Crewel was satisfied with his own work, smiling at them.

“As expected of our teacher,” Vil commented, also smiling in appreciation of the craftsmanship. “The color is not too outstanding in order to draw out their own beauty, very stoic and kinda mysterious. The endless longing for the unknown, that is the true meaning of exotic.”

“Hmm. It’s easier to get along with someone who understands fashion like you,” the teacher said, glancing at him.

It’s nice that they were enjoying themselves, at least. Mari giggled lightly as she twirled in her dress. The light fabric was easy to move in and felt comfortable. If they ever needed to run, it wouldn’t hold her back at all. Their teacher probably considered this. She looked at the mirror to see how she looked and it’s fair to say that his work was amazing. It made her feel… otherworldly. She already was from another world but to look the part was a different matter.

“We’ve tried on different clothes again and again…” Jamil crossed his arms, eyebrows furrowed in irritation. His lips pulled downwards.

“I’m already tired and training hasn’t even started yet,” Ruggie sighed, closing his eyes. His ears were folded.

“Is that right? Designing costumes is always like this. Right, Leona?” Kalim spoke up, turning to the beastman prince.

“Kind of…” Leona crossed his arms as well, seeming disinterested in the situation.

“I think the trouble was worth it. Sir Crewel certainly did a fantastic job,” Mari commented as she stared at the floral lacing that ran across her waistline, fingers delicately tracing over it. A small smile graced her lips.

“It’s too early to be relieved,” Vil told her. “If the people wearing these clothes don’t act in a proper manner, the silk shirts they’re wearing might as well just be sack rags.”

“To become the center of attention on the fashion show, we must have some sort of performance.” He smiled. “A gorgeous walk with a gorgeous performance. Both of these are necessary.”

“First, I’ll have you guys show me your style of walking.”

Leona smirked. “All we have to do is walk? It’s so easy that I could do it in my sleep.”

Jamil rubbed his chin, a thoughtful look on his features. “If we’re too self-conscious, we might wander off at some point.”

Kalim gave a light laugh. It was as if he was the sun, radiating warmth. “No need to be nervous. Just relax and do it.”

Soon enough, the three were put to the test and let the model judge their skill.

“Very unexpected. I never thought that you could walk elegantly,” Vil said. “Impressive, Jamil.”

Said boy smirked. “It’s my honor to receive such praise from you, Vil.”

He turned to Scarabia’s dorm leader with a smile. “Kalim had a very noble posture. The education from your hometown has been beneficial for you.”

Kalim chuckled. “Is that so? Hehehe, I’m kinda embarrassed. Though, I only have great posture thanks to my love of dancing and not from the education I learned.”

“It’s true. Kalim had been learning traditional dances ever since he was a kid, while I took an interest in street dancing,” Jamil said, his lips pulled upwards. Nostalgia glinted in his eyes.

“I see. So that’s why you guys have such trained bodies.” Vil was clearly pleased with the two. Then, he frowned and turned to Leona, deciding to finally address the elephant in the room. Er, lion in the room. “Compared to that… Leona, what’s with your lame walking?” He glared at him.

“Ah? It’s the same as those Scarabia guys.” He closed his eyes, crossing his arms.

“It’s not the same at all. Jamil’s light step, Kalim’s nobility. You have neither of those,” he berated him, giving him an icy glare. “Your feet are dragging along the floor and you have atrocious posture. Your head was swaying as you were walking. It feels like your shoulders are cutting through the wind. It’s very boorish!”

“The title of prince sounds incredulous to me.”

“How ironic that the feline can’t catwalk…” Mari mumbled.

“He literally just criticized Leona.” Ruggie’s eyes widened in shock.

“Schoenheit,” Crewel spoke up, “For a useless dog like him, shouldn’t we train him to walk on two legs first? If we let him be, it’d be like letting a newborn kitten walk on the runway.”

“Indeed,” the model agreed with him, a troubled expression on his flawless features. “Having Leona perform when he doesn’t even have the basis of walking is kinda hard. If we can’t handle both at the same time, then we should focus on walking.”

He sighed. “I hate to admit it, but he has a commanding aura that could make him the main model. It’d be a waste if we don’t utilize that.”

“Scarabia got 100 points for walking. So now, try challenging the dancing part.” Vil gave his underclassmen a pleasant smile. “You guys will have the role of making the festival livelier. Your performance could also make the shitty main model stand out more.”

“Ah, we must follow Schoenheit’s plan to fill the hole that Kingscholar built,” Crewel said.

“Leona is so hopeless. I wonder if the both of us can cover him well.” Jamil rubbed his chin in thought.

“Let’s do our best! I already promised Leona that I’m going to take care of him.” Kalim, the little cinnamon roll, had a look of determination on his face.

“As a student from Savanaclaw, I feel so ashamed. I’m so sorry that he’s such a troublesome leader.” Ruggie sighed.

Man, they were all roasting him so much. Mari bit her lip, trying not to laugh at the situation as she didn't wanna be mean to him.

“I could also be your coach on teaching you how to walk on two feet,” Grimm told him, smirking.

“You guys…” Leona growled, glaring at them. “The moment I stay quiet, you all really couldn’t shut your mouths.”

Then, Crewel hit him with his whip. “Stop barking!”

She flinched at the noise. Oof, that’s gotta hurt.

The teacher smiled and placed a hand on his hip. “Listen up, puppies. Take in Schoenheit’s lesson and finish up the most perfect show ever!” He ordered them.

“Come on. Immediately start the lesson for the Fairy Gala!” Vil smirked.

And with that, he started coaching the three performers. In the meantime, Mari and Ruggie decided to practice their part. She sat down on a chair, wearing a plastic crown that she pinned to her hair. It took them a few attempts to get it right.

“Wow, their performance is exquisite! I can’t help but keep my eyes on these mysterious fairies!” Mari exclaimed, doing her best to act her part as the fairy queen. It was difficult to keep herself from laughing.

“Got it!” Ruggie grinned, holding up her plastic crown that he swapped out. “Did you notice it?”

She shook her head. “That was perfect! I didn’t feel a thing. How long did it take?”

“Shishishi,” he did his signature laugh, “Only 6 seconds to take out the pins. Leona really thought that I’d need 10 seconds.”

“Great! Now all we need is for those three to get their act straight,” Grimm cheered and they decided to check on their progress, making their way to Pomefiore’s ballroom.

“It hurts,” Kalim groaned. “Sorry for bumping into you again.”

“Kalim, just now you were supposed to step forward. Timing is key,” Jamil told him in a calm manner.

“You have beautiful posture but you make too many mistakes when you swing your body that way,” Vil spoke up.

“When I get too excited, it’s hard to control my arms.” The white-haired dorm leader rubbed the back of his neck with a sheepish expression on his face.

“And Jamil, you make no mistakes with your dance but it’s too perfect to the point that it lacks the atmosphere that would make the festival livelier.”

“Vil, thank you for your hard work. We came to see how practice is going,” Ruggie said, walking into the room with his hands resting behind his head. “Is our leader doing well?” He snickered, turning to Leona. They were greeted with a chaotic sight. Leona was balancing a couple of vases on his head and shoulders. Sounds of water sloshing around coming from inside the vases.

His eyes widened in shock. “What’s happened?!”

“Vil! Get these off of me!” Leona barked at the model.

“It’s a method for correcting your posture. You must walk around the room without pouring any water from the vase,” he responded.

“You bastard…!” Leona growled, before he got splashed with water. His clothes became soaked.

“Restart.” Vil remained calm, crossing his arms. ��Don’t worry. We have plenty of water to refill.”

“AH I CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE! I QUIT!” The soaked beastman cried out. “I don’t care if it going to keep snowing, I can’t keep doing these stupid things.”

Ruggie sighed, his ears folded. He shrugged. “Leona is hopeless. Kalim and Jamil keep messing up when dancing. Can we really keep up when the day of the Fairy Gala arrives?” He wondered.

“If they fail to capture the audience’s attention, we’ll be the ones in danger when we need to swap out the crown.” Grimm wore a fearful expression, holding onto Mari for comfort.

Mari caressed her partner’s fur, contemplating what’s to come. “Maybe we should try a different plan…” She mumbled. But then again, it’s likely too late for that.

“No problem,” Vil reassured them, still oddly calm as ever. “I’ll bet with my model spirit that I'll make the “Monopolize both the crown and their attention” plan successful.”

“But how are you going to do it?” Ruggie asked.

A smile formed on his handsome features.

“There’s only one way to make this work.”

Then his face broke out into a harsh glare, piercing the souls of anyone who dared look directly into his eyes. “By being stricter! If I need to force your own body to memorize the correct posture, then I will beat them into you so that you can never forget!”

SMACK!

The three men screamed in pain and shock. Everyone’s eyes were wide open, including the stealth group.

“He’s using magic to slap their butts!” Ruggie exclaimed.

Vil crossed his arms, continuing to direct his merciless glare at them. If looks could kill, they’d be sent straight to the Underworld. “Three of you, stand up. From now on, if you sit down without my permission, I’ll have you squat 500 times.”

“Leona, place the vase on your head and redo it. If you pour it, squat for an hour.”

His expression turned into one of exasperation. “We can’t keep doing this if you don’t train your body.”

He turned to the two Scarabia students. “Kalim and Jamil, three-legged run around the school if either one of you makes a mistake. It’s a joint responsibility.”

“No way…!”

Leona glared back. “Acting all bossy… Just who the fuck do you think you are?!”

“Worldwide supermodel, Vil Schoenheit!” he shouted and used his magic to spank their butts once more. The force was so strong that it caused tears to come out of Kalim’s eyes.

“What a demon coach…” Grimm muttered under his breath and hid behind his supervisor.

Grueling training has begun for the three poor unfortunate souls.

Today was the day of the Fairy Gala. The group had been preparing, making sure that everything was perfect. Vil was applying makeup on them, his expertise in cosmetics was truly something awe-inspiring. He made sure to accentuate their best features and give them makeup looks to die for.

“It’s your turn,” he turned to the prefect, who sat on a chair in front of him. His fingers hooked from under her chin and tilted her head up to get a better look at what he’s gotta work with. She gazed back at him with curiosity sparkling in her eyes. He hummed for a moment, a thoughtful expression on his face. “Your inner beauty revolves around your motherly heart. So, I’d like to give you a more innocent and demure, yet mature look.”

The model got to applying the makeup. She followed whatever instructions he gave her while he did so. It was quite a pleasant experience getting her makeup done by him. As he worked, the rest of the group fixed their costumes.

“Where do I wrap this cloth?” She could hear Kalim ask from behind Vil.

“Give it to me. Just put it on your shoulder… Okay, done.” Jamil helped him out.

“Wearing these expensive clothes really got me feeling nervous… And itchy,” Ruggie mumbled.

“Just act natural and the fairies will think you’re one of them. Don’t be nervous,” Leona spoke up.

Vil stepped back to survey his work, seeing whether he was satisfied with it or not. He leaned in and added a few more finishing touches and a small smile pulled at his lips. He took a small hand mirror and showed it to her.

Her eyes widened in shock. She looked… ethereal. The overall style was more natural compared to the others as he didn’t want it to clash with the overall aesthetic of her costume. She had dusty rose pink strawberry-scented lip gloss that shimmered in the light and highlights only served to make her seem angelic. A delicate beauty that seemed out of this world. The true meaning of exotic.

He took everything into account and made a masterpiece. And it was enough for Mari to see herself as gorgeous, which she believed to be an impossible feat until now.

“I take it that you’re speechless at my skill.” Vil’s voice reached her ears. All she could do was nod in silence, mouth agape. He chuckled. “You’ve graduated from potato to beautiful fairy. At least, for today. If you worked harder, you could maintain your beauty.”

She looked up at him with a shining grin and sparkling eyes. “Thanks, Vil!”

After sprinkling fairy powder on her, he stepped back and allowed the rest of the group to see her. But if one were to look closer, they might’ve noticed the red dusting his ears.

“Everyone is so sparkly...” Grimm smiled.

“That is thanks to the needlework, but the effect mostly comes from the fairy powder,” Jamil explained.

“It looks really good on you guys,” Mari complimented them, chuckling.

“That’s my line,” Leona said, then turned to her. He eyed her up and down before he smirked. “Not bad for a herbivore, I guess.”

“Yeah, you look exactly like a fairy.” Jamil smiled, crossing his arms.

She couldn’t help but blush at the compliments, “Thank you…”

“Are you guys ready?” Vil asked. He gave them a firm glare. “If you lose focus now, our strict lessons will be for nothing. Look at the mirror, check your makeup.”

They all checked their appearances one last time to make sure everything was perfect.

“We started from an unsightly situation so I wasn’t sure if this was going to work.” He sighed, before a smile creeped up on his lips. “But I guess it’s not that bad after seeing the finished look.”

“Vil…” Kalim sniffed, before he wrapped his arms around the tall blond and embraced him. “VIL! Thanks to you, I can dance on the runway. I’ll do my best!”

“Don’t forget about the original goal,” he reminded him. His features softened up, a gentle smile on his face. It was rare to see him like this. “The mission is to get back the stone that the fairies stole from us.”

Aw, they looked so cute like that. After that little exchange, Scarabia’s dorm leader let go of him.

Vil closed his eyes and crossed his arms. “If we lose the magic stone, the usual school life will never come back again.”

He gave them a harsh glare. “Listen up, okay? It’s war on the runway.”

Then, he smirked. “Grab the crown and their attention with the greatest performance of all time!” His words were encouraging, filling the girl with a sense of determination. The fire in her soul burned brightly, undying.

“Alright!”

Vil looked out the window with an unreadable expression. He was confident in his ability to coach, so he shouldn’t have to worry about them messing up. At least, that’s what he told himself. However, something else was on his mind. It irked him to think that a magicless potato of a freshman would have such an effect on him. But he remembered the way she gazed at him with such genuine admiration. Her smile seemed to shine brighter than any star.

He was no idiot, and he was certainly not the type to deny his feelings. He knew exactly what he was feeling. Rook had always blabbered to him nonstop about this sort of subject. Not only that, but he was aware that he wasn’t the only one. Other men had been vying for her attention for far longer than he has been.

But no matter. He just had to show her why he’s the best option.

#vil schoenheit #twst vil #twst vil schoenheit #twst #twisted wonderland #vil schoenheit x mc #vil x mc #leona kingscholar #ruggie bucchi #kalim al asim #jamil viper #twst grimm

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sparklydreamies · 4 years

Text

Best Shot ~Ch 4

Group: Stray Kids

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 6700+

Summary: Han Jisung, certified quiet boy, has never really understood the hype about love and romance. That is until he has to step out of his comfort zone and onto the basketball court to impress that one person he can’t stop thinking about.

Main themes: highschool!AU, basketball!AU, internalized homophobia, friends-to-lovers

MASTERLIST

a/n: I guess I’m making his parents worse than I planned, I apologize for that ddnvm,, also Hyunjin’s a big cutie and I will love him forever

CHAPTER 4

Surprisingly, there are some people who enjoy high school. Some people wake up every day, content in their own life and surroundings, happy to go to school to their abundance of friends, fully enjoying and taking advantage of their limited youthful years. Some people are able to live their teenage years happily, comfortable with themselves. Unsurprisingly, they were a very rare breed.

High school, for most kids, is not like they see in the movies. It isn’t filled with parties, good friends, romance or happiness, but is instead filled completely with overwhelming school work and the burden of self discovery. The feeling of comfort in one’s own skin long gone as people work to construct how they wish to be seen in the eyes of their friends. The big secret that they don’t tell you in movies is that nobody loves themselves completely. You may be happy with your personality or physical appearance, but everybody has just that one thing about themselves that they can’t help but want to conceal in a box, never to be seen by other people.

For example, Jisung didn’t want to like boys. There was no reason that he couldn’t have been interested in girls, with their soft curves, full lips, and pretty faces. He should have been like his friend Felix, who would willingly leave Jisung stranded in some desolate, dusty desert somewhere if it meant that he could have a shot with a college girl.

Felix was the straightest boy Jisung knew. There was no way in hell that Jisung would ever feel very comfortable telling Felix his secret; he’s too worried that Felix would think he’s abnormal or strange. Although the more Jisung thinks about it, he wasn’t one hundred percent sure Felix would be wrong.

Jisung was used to the guilty feeling that bloomed deep in his chest when he thought about telling his family. His homophobic, conservative family. Lord knows Jisung has sat through way too many nights of hearing his father shouting slurs and making offensive comments at the television, or at his friends, who often would laugh and retort with an insult of their own.

Thinking about how his mother would react did nothing to help cool the fire that was burning his lungs. What would she blame it on? Where would she ship him off to in the hopes of changing his views and correcting his disorder? Jisung’s mind raced as he thought of what he would have to endure, all for the sake of his mother’s reputation. Heaven forbid she ever raised a son who liked boys.

Jisung was plagued with these thoughts, eating away at his consciousness until he felt like he was suffocating in the reality and weight of his problem. He had no outlet for his frustration. He was all alone. All alone and deformed. A blasphemy. How could he like boys of all things?

Jisung tried not to think about his problem during the days leading up to his first basketball game, which was much easier said than done. Jisung was quickly beginning to understand how Felix would feel when he was with Dahyun, or any other girl for that matter. When Jisung saw Minho walking down the halls of their school, talking and laughing with his friends, smiling and waving at Jisung, it was like he completely lost the ability to breathe. No matter how much Jisung tried to suppress it, Minho had a tight grip on his heart.

Mina was a big help to Jisung. After their little talk on the bleachers by the track, Jisung often felt himself relying on her kindness and support. The thought of bothering her with his stupid drama and inner turmoil made him feel guilty, but he sincerely felt like there was no way he could keep this to himself. He was just too confused and upset.

Friday came sooner than Jisung would have liked. Friday’s were the official game days for the varsity boys basketball team.

Of course, Jisung wouldn’t actually be playing. No, Jisung still didn’t have the level of skill that it would take to be an actual player, but he was happy to be just sitting on the bench. The idea of playing was leaving a sour feeling with Jisung, and it was not very helpful to him while he tried to focus on his studies.

Contrary to the sick feeling Jisung had, Felix and Seungmin were buzzing with excitement all day. Jisung thought it was strange how they both seemed way happier about this than he did, but judging by how much they cared about social hierarchies, it was expected.

“Maybe you can talk to Minho and see if he’ll let you play, even for just a quarter,” Felix suggested when the boys sat down for lunch that eventful Friday. Jisung scoffed at him. The last thing he wanted was to actually play. It was astonishing how Felix still didn’t grasp that concept.

“Felix you idiot, Jisung can’t even hold the ball properly, no way Minho will let him play,” Seungmin answered, making Felix giggle. Jisung shot him an exasperated look.

“Not true,” Jisung denied, “Hyunjin says I’m better than I think I am. It’s not that I can’t play, it’s that I don’t want to play,”

“Because you don’t want to embarrass yourself?” Felix teased, but there was honestly nothing Jisung could counter about that question. He knew that he had basic skills, but nothing outstanding. Once he begins private practices with Hyunjin, maybe he’ll begin to improve. After all, Hyunjin obviously knows what he is doing when it comes to basketball.

“Hey, since when are you such good friends with Hyunjin?” Seungmin asked, “Didn’t you hate him like a week ago?”

“No, not hate him,” Jisung said in a small voice. There was a small beat of awkward silence before Seungmin changed the subject. Jisung was grateful for that.

“Whatever. Felix did you end up figuring out the history homework, or are you going to freeload off my answers again?” Seungmin asked, and the conversation went off from there.

Jisung was barely participating in the conversation, and he ended up completely tuning Felix out while the boy talked about why he didn’t do the assignment. Instead, Jisung’s eye was drawn to a vibrant colour he saw from across the cafeteria. Of course, it was the bright red, tell tale sign of the varsity basketball team. Jisung wanted to avert his gaze, but his eyes decided to focus themselves on the soft features of the boy who was unknowingly ruining his life.

Jisung watched as Minho laughed at something Youngjae said, and they took a seat on the opposite corner of the room. Jisung was still zoned out, wondering what they were talking about when two fingers snapped in front of his face, drawing his attention away from the boys.

“Ji?” Felix asked, chuckling at him, “are you good?”

Jisung shook himself out of his thoughts and nodded a yes. He turned to look at Seungmin, who was giving him a questioning gaze. There was a small period of silence once again, before Jisung asked “what?”

“We were asking if you’re exited about tonight, stupid,” Seungmin repeated.

“I mean, I guess so,” Jisung coughed awkwardly, “like I said, I’m not really going to play,”

“Well play or not, we’re still going to support you,” Seungmin said. Jisung blushed a bit out of embarrassment.

Felix smiled, “oh yeah Ji, we might make posters too,”

“I know you guys are joking, but please do not do that,” Jisung warned, feeling too embarrassed to even imagine the horrible sight that would be. Felix and Seungmin, sitting in the middle of a sea of high schoolers, holding homemade signs, whooping whenever Jisung took a drink of water. Absolutely the last thing Jisung needed.

“Felix, I don’t know if I have any glitter glue left at my house though, we might have to pick some more up,” Seungmin said, and all three boys started laughing.

----

“Attention teachers. At this time, please dismiss all members of the varsity boys basketball team, as today is game day. Good luck boys, we wish you luck!”

Jisung felt his stomach tighten slightly at the announcement. He saw across the room that Hyunjin, whom he shared last period with, was packing up his books and getting ready to leave. He gave Jisung a reassuring smile. Jisung nervously began to pack up his belongings, shoving them into his backpack.

Jisung wasn’t nervous about playing the game, as he knew he was just there as a spare in the unlikely case that two of the team members got injured and they needed their last resort extra. He wasn’t nervous about the possibility of losing the game, because it wasn’t that important to him. So what was the reason for his unwelcome feeling of anxiety? Why was he so nervous? It’s not like he’s alone, he has Hyunjin, Minho, and everyone else on the team who has grown to be friendly acquaintances with Jisung over the past week.

He had no more time to try and untangle his thoughts, as he was being led out the classroom door by Hyunjin, who was calling a last goodbye to their teacher.

“Are you nervous?” Hyunjin asked. Of course Jisung was nervous. It’s in his nature to be nervous about everything. Jisung felt his heartbeat in his throat.

“No, not at all,” Jisung answered, sounding surprisingly calm despite the feelings he was experiencing.

“Liar,” Hyunjin mumbled, shoving Jisung’s shoulder as they walked. Jisung smiled. It was nice to have Hyunjin around; he always seemed to understand Jisung’s emotions, yet never judged him. It was just like their old times, when Jisung would be upset about the insignificant drama of their sixth grade class, and Hyunjin would always be there to cheer him up.

“Shut up,” Jisung whispered as they reached the gym hallway. He took a breath before shoving the heavy door of the change room open with his shoulder.

Once Jisung opened the door, he was met with loud music echoing off the walls, and the faint smell of sweat. He wrinkled his nose at the stench, wondering what the room would smell like after the boys played an hour of basketball.

Hyunjin led Jisung to the back corner of the room, where they usually sit. All around them, boys were getting undressed and changed into their horribly designed uniforms. Jisung once again felt awkward and slightly self conscious changing in front of these boys. He feels awkward enough exposing his own skin to these boys, but pair that with the fact that he just realized he likes men. His doubts were eased slightly when he saw Hyunjin slip off his uniform shirt beside him.

Jisung began to get undressed when the door swung open again. The sound of the heavy door swinging open rang throughout the already noisy room. Jeongin paused the music blaring from his speaker once the team captain walked in. Jisung was suddenly brought back to the back that not only was he shirtless and exposed in front of the other boys, but he was half naked in front of Lee Minho.

He felt embarrassment slowly creep up on him and make his ears burn. Minho didn’t spare him a glance, yet Jisung still felt ashamed. He quickly slid on his basketball shirt, thankful that it covered his chest.

When the boys were all ready and the last bell rang for the school day, Minho made his way to the middle of the room, clearing his throat and grabbing everyone’s attention. Jisung saw how Minho rolled up the sleeves on his jersey shirt, and he thought it made Minho look even cooler in it than he previously thought.

“Alright boys,” Minho started, and the remaining murmurs echoing in the room ceased. “We’re off to a good start this season, but we need to keep it up.” Jisung saw some of the boys nod, and some of them clapped lightly. “Our biggest difficulty this season is our defense, which I went over lightly last practice. It’s not enough to score points, we also have to keep the other team from scoring points,” he continued. Minho suddenly pointed towards Jisung, and he felt like his heart stopped.

“On another note, today is Jisung’s very first game!” Minho announced, and the rest of the team began to whoop at that, making Jisung’s blushing face fall into his hands. This was too much attention for him. Hyunjin smiled dumbly and shoved Jisung’s shoulder. “Let’s show him how winning feels, yeah?” Minho suggested, his voice getting louder. There was a booming chorus of agreements from the team. “Yeah?” Minho repeated, his voice very loud now. “Let’s go!” He called, opening the heavy doors and holding it for the team to pass through.

Unlike during practices which were private for the most part, the school gymnasium was packed full with students and a few parents occupying the bleachers on the side of the court.

The energy in the space was electric, and Jisung found himself wondering how he had never been to a basketball game before. Maybe it was due to the fact that he never saw the interest in watching sweaty boys wrestle a ball away from each other.

A loud holler from the bleachers drew Jisung’s attention to his two best friends, cheering him on. Jisung smiled at them, but spared no more than that as he jogged over to the bench where he would be staying for the entirety of the game.

All around him, his teammates were warming up, executing drills Jisung remembered from practice, and stretching. Jisung himself tried to get his heart rate up, but for no particular reason other than to not look like he didn’t know what the fuck he was doing.

Basketball is an interesting sport, Jisung concluded by the halftime mark. It wasn’t as slow as golf or even baseball, but it wasn’t as fast as hockey. There was a noticeable grace to the players as they made their formations, utilizing plays and techniques learned from hours of practice. The way that they relied on their teammates was quite cool to Jisung. It was like they were a machine, each component with their own mission, all working together for the greater good.

By the time halftime rolled around, Jisung’s team was losing, significantly. The tension was obviously high; Jisung could see that from the exasperated faces of his teammates, and the obvious overconfidence from the other team.

Hyunjin didn’t even bother to pat Jisung on the shoulder, or ruffle his hair on his way to his water bottle. He looked focused, concentrating on the present game. Minho looked even worse.

Sweat was dripping all down the side of his face and his neck, shining under the harsh lights of the gym. His hair was completely stuck to his forehead, and his eyes were serious. Jisung felt a little bit intimidated from the strange change in the other’s behavior. Jisung had never experienced Minho to be this determined and fierce. His features were sharper, and there was a fire in his expression. The sight took Jisung’s breath away.

“Guys, what are we doing out there?” Minho ran his hand through his hair in an attempt to get it off his forehead, “We’re playing like amateurs. We are sloppy, not coordinated, and we’re playing way too rushed. We’re throwing the ball away, and it’s going right to the other team. That isn’t the way to win, right?” he asked, and there were a few agreements from the team. Jisung internally chuckled, because before, he thought the team was very much in sync. “I want to win this game just as much as you guys do. So let’s slow ourselves down, okay? Play smarter, not harder,” he concluded.

He then led the team into a loud cheer, hyping up the home crowd. The boys made their way back onto the court, wiping their sweaty foreheads on their jerseys. Jisung didn’t miss the way that some girls swooned over them, catching some of the boys’ attention.

After the third quarter commenced, Jisung was a bit astounded. It was almost as if Minho had flipped a switch with his words. Progress came slowly, but sure enough, they began to climb the scoreboard. Jisung felt himself grow more and more invested in the game as he watched the boys fly across the court, ball after ball into the other team’s hoop.

Jisung watched, his heart in his throat, as Hyunjin expertly sank a three-pointer. He jumped in his seat, which caught the eye of Hyunjin himself, who was smiling ear-to-ear like an idiot.

When the team pilled back into the change room after the game, the adrenaline was enough to choke on. Jisung was ecstatic, bumping into and high fiving his teammates after his first ever win.

Jisung understood why people care about sports. At least, he was starting to. There was a sense of family in that change room after that game, and Jisung bathed in it. Even if he wasn’t that close with the members yet, he felt more than accepted as he was pulled into a hug from Choi Youngjae.

“Settle down!” yelled a voice coming from the door, and Jisung turned around to see Minho standing there, proudly smiling, obviously basking in the post-victory high.

One by one, the boys moved to their spots, and let Minho give them a final talk about how they played, and where they would rank in the standings after beating this team. Jisung didn’t catch too much, he was preoccupied by Hyunjin bumping into his side, still smiling so hard he might split his face open.

Once they were changed, Hyunjin led Jisung out of the change room, and into the school’s main hallway. They passed a slew of people that were waiting for their player friends to change quickly so they could leave. He passed by a few dejected faces of boys from the other school.

Jisung did not expect Hyunjin leaning towards the other players and sincerely congratulating them on their game. There wasn’t a hint of passive-aggressiveness in his voice at all, but rather there was real sincerity.

“Why are you doing that?” Jisung whispered to him.

“What, talking to the other guys?” Jisung nodded, still giving him questioning eyes, “Well, they played a really good game, and I know I would appreciate it if I got complimented from the other players,” Hyunjin explained, leaning away from Jisung to congratulate another young looking boy.

Jisung shook his head. Of course Hyunjin was just about the sweetest person alive. It was no different from when they were kids. Everybody loved Hyunjin because he was nice, and didn’t make fun of people. That’s probably also the reason Jisung’s mother was so infatuated with Hyunjin. Who doesn’t want their son to be friends with such a polite and well mannered boy?

“Hyunjin, you were great,” Jisung said, once they passed a small crowd of what looked like freshmen, “honestly, I think you won that for us,”

Hyunjin gave a small laugh. A blush slightly painted his cheeks, which he failed to hide from Jisung. “Are you trying to steal my thing from me?” he countered, giving an offended glare.

Jisung slapped him lightly in the arm. “No, I just think you did really well!”

Hyunjin smiled fondly, focusing his gaze on the ground in front of them. “It was Minho all the way,” he said, “but thanks,”

Jisung was about to argue with him when something caught his eye. A slight glimmer of fluorescent lights hitting jet black hair. He turned slightly to examine, and almost choked on his breath when he saw the familiar pale skin and small stature.

He remembered the pretty girl quite vividly; he remembered feeling her pressed against him in a dark hallway, stealing rushed kisses from him. He also remembered the awkward moment when he pushed her away, and shuddered. Jisung tried to keep his head down and walk, lest he make eye contact and relive the painful memory, but of course, life is a bitch.

“Jisung!” someone called from that direction, however it wasn’t the soft spoken voice of the pretty little girl from the party. Instead, it was the deep and recognizable voice of Lee Felix.

Hyunjin was the first to turn, smiling wide at the smaller boy, pushing Jisung towards that general direction. Jisung saw Felix had his arm around the waist of a gorgeous blonde girl. Of course, Jisung recognized her as Kim Dahyun.

“Good game! Does your ass have splinters from sitting on the bench?” Seungmin called, Felix laughing with him. Typical of Seungmin. Jisung landed a fairly hard punch right on the bone in his arm, sure to leave a bruise.

Jisung’s eyes raised to meet Nayeon’s. The girl tucked her soft hair behind her ear.

“So I’ve been told that you two know each other,” Dahyun teased, poking her friend in the side. Nayeon blushed slightly, mumbling a small warning to drop it.

Jisung saw the gross look in Felix’s eyes. It was the type of look that says “my friend is definitely going to get some”. Jisung wrinkled his nose and drew his attention away from his perverted friend.

“It’s fine,” Jisung awkwardly mumbled. “Have you met Hwang Hyunjin?” he asked, changing the subject away from the girl who looked quite nervous.

As Dahyun and Hyunjin made each other’s acquaintance, Jisung couldn’t help but feel sorry for the poor girl. He didn’t want Nayeon to think that she forced herself on him, or that he had any harsh feelings towards her in any way. She still avoided his gaze.

Jisung figured that was expected. If the tables were turned and Nayeon pushed Jisung away, he would feel absolutely ashamed of himself.

“Anyways, I think it’s time we should go, I’m driving Jisung home,” Hyunjin said, causing Jisung to snap back into reality at the mention of his name.

“Uh yeah, we should get going,” he agreed, “it was nice seeing you guys again,” he waved at Dahyun and Nayeon.

The two boys stiffly made their way to the school’s main entrance, where Hyunjin’s car was parked. Hyunjin made some stupid joke about riding shotgun or something, which Jisung found hard to pretend to laugh at.

“So,” Hyunjin started once they got into the car. Hyunjin fired up the engine, making his way slowly to the road, among all the post-game traffic. “Who was the cutie?” he asked.

Jisung groaned at the intrusive question. Why can’t Hyunjin just not bother to care? The answer was because being nosy is a part of Hyunjin’s personality. “She’s nobody,” he answered, brushing off the question.

“That doesn’t sound convincing,” Hyunjin mumbled, pulling out of the parking lot.

“She’s just a girl,”

Hyunjin laughed at his friend. “Felix was looking like he was expecting you two to take your clothes off right there,”

“Jesus, dude!” Jisung cried out, trying to hit his head against the window to the sound of Hyunjin’s giggles. “She’s just a girl that I fooled around with once, okay? Not a big deal.” he reluctantly answered. Hwang Hyunjin was a pain in the ass.

Of course, Hyunjin began his chorus of oohs, causing Jisung to cover his face. “I think...” Hyunjin trailed off. Jisung uncovered his face to see what caused Hyunjin to stop talking. “I think you like her,” Hyunjin teased.

Jisung almost burst out laughing. The irony of that conclusion was astounding. It was crazy how someone could be so wrong about a topic. Just imagine the shock Hyunjin would feel if he found out about Jisung’s little crush on Minho.

“What?” Hyunjin asked. Jisung just shook his head.

"I don’t like Nayeon,” Jisung pressed, still trying to gain control of his laughter, “please drop it,” he said.

Hyunjin mumbled a “fine” under his breath.

After a second of silence, Hyunjin spoke again. “Is there anybody that you do have a thing for?” he asked.

Jisung paused his breathing. The way that Hyunjin asked that made Jisung’s mind immediately conclude that Hyunjin knew about Minho.

How did he know? Jisung wasn’t that obvious. He didn’t tell anybody except for Mina. Did Mina tell Hyunjin? No, Mina isn’t close with Hyunjin. Did Mina tell other people, which got passed around from person to person until it hit Hyunjin? Did the whole school know?

No. They didn’t. Jisung willed himself to calm down, as he didn’t know whether or not this was even the topic Hyunjin was regarding.

“No, not really,” Jisung said weakly, hoping that Hyunjin couldn’t see past his bullshit.

“You never seem to be interested in anybody,” Hyunjin chuckled. Jisung felt himself loosen up as the atmosphere grew light again. “That’s a real shame, you’d make a great boyfriend,” he joked.

Fuck Jisung’s mind for overthinking.

----

“There you are,” Chaeryeong called from the kitchen. The smell of something cooking greeted Jisung as he walked through the front door. Chaeryeong was stirring a pot of something on the stove, making dinner like she usually is expected to. “How was the game?” she asked.

“Fine, we won,” he answered. Chaeryeong moved around the kitchen some more, handling this and that. Jisung always admired his sister’s cooking skills; he had never been much of a chef himself.

Jisung’s mother wasn’t around too much to cook for her children, and when she was, she was often too tired or unmotivated. As the oldest girl, the duty was passed onto Chaeryeong from a young age. Jisung never found it that fair, but Chaeryeong never complained. When Jisung would offer to share the work with her, she would just smile and say she would rather make something edible than eat whatever Jisung would make. Chaeryeong might be annoying at times, but she was a responsible and tolerant girl.

Chaeryeong smiled and gave him a quick congratulations for his victory before the sound of a yell rang through their home. Chaeryeong froze in her spot.

Jisung’s face dropped. “Why is he here, I thought he wasn’t coming until tomorrow?” he whispered to Chaeryeong. She gave him a sort of exasperated shrug as she tried to continue her work.

“His meetings for tomorrow got cancelled, so he decided to come back early,” Chaeryeong said, “believe me, I was just as surprised as you,”

The man that was currently occupying their living room was Jisung’s father. No doubt he was trying to yell at the soccer referees through the television.

Jisung and Chaeryeong’s father was just about the least likable man they know of.

Jisung’s parents had tarnished Jisung’s perception of healthy relationships from a very young age. Sure, every marriage has their ups and downs, but it wasn’t until Jisung was eleven or twelve years old that he realized not everybody’s parents dissolve into screaming matches during every conversation.

If Jisung was being honest, a lot of the worst moments from his childhood had resulted due to his father’s loud arrogance and his mother’s stubborn judgement. The only reason they haven’t gotten divorced yet is because Jisung’s mother is so occupied with thinking about what her friends would think about her. Her incapability of pleasing her husband like a good wife should. It was better for her to silently accept the hellish life she had created for herself, while simultaneously ruining her children’s childhoods all for the “greater good”.

If his parents were to get a divorce, there is no doubt in Jisung’s mind that he would rather live with his mother. Even though she could be harsh and mean, she could also be a decent mother. Jisung’s father was never much of a father. It was easy to have conversations with his mother when she was in the right mood. Sometimes however, when Jisung thinks about his mother, the bad memories are always what surface first. The memories of her calling him useless, saying he ruined her promising life, saying that he was a disappointment.

That sort of thing can really hurt a kid.

Jisung’s house sometimes felt like a war zone. It was almost impossible to dodge the bullets that his parents were always firing around, attempting to blame others for their own unhappiness. If he managed to avoid being shot with harsh words from his parents, surely he would make a comment, or do something that would set off a landmine of arguments and yelling throughout his house.

Jisung had learned through many years of struggling to avoid the sharp words of his parents that when the two of them were both home together, it was the best move to be out of the house.

“Chae,” he whispered, trying to quietly make his way into where his sister was still cooking, “let’s go out somewhere,”

Chaeryeong nodded quickly at him, “but I have to finish their dinner, or we’ll be in deep shit,” she said, moving to take the sauce off of the stove. Jisung gave her a little pat on the shoulder as he moved to silently make his way upstairs to his room, without alerting his parents that he was home.

Chaeryeong had it harder than Jisung, he knew. His parents rarely expected him to do anything, but they essentially forced Chaeryeong to do their cooking and cleaning. She is still young; she doesn’t deserve to be treated like a maid because her parents don’t like making their own meals.

It was useless trying to understand the logic Jisung’s parents had when it came to raising kids.

Jisung changed out of his school uniform and into his casual clothes before making his way back downstairs to see if Chaeryeong was ready to leave yet. He quietly made his way down the stairs, moving so expertly down the wood where he knew it wouldn’t creak. Unfortunately, it was all in vain when he heard his mother’s voice in the kitchen.

“Call me when it’s time- oh, Jisung you’re home,” she said when Jisung walked into the kitchen, “how was your day?”

“It was good mom,” Jisung said, but he could tell she wasn’t paying that much attention.

“Did you say hi to your father yet?” she said, and before Jisung could object, she was calling his name, beckoning him over to greet his son. Jisung saw Chaeryeong shrug at him. Jisung dangled his car keys to signal that he still wanted to get the hell out of there, which she silently agreed with.

Jisung didn’t have any urge to talk to his father. To his dismay, he heard the sound of approaching footsteps coming from the living room, followed by mumbles of “the game is on,” and such.

Jisung’s dad wasn’t a bad looking man. Sometimes Jisung thinks if he had a better personality, he might even be a decent catch. His father was tall, with very dark hair and a fairly slim build. He was decent looking enough for many people to envy his mother, however those people never saw the real person that he was. The person who shamelessly bashes his family, while at the same time expects to be treated like a king.

Jisung doesn’t care about how his father insults him, his academics, his looks or his friends, but it kills Jisung to see how he hurts Chaeryeong. Chaeryeong is a bright and happy girl, but Jisung can see the way that his father tears down her confidence.

He breaks her down so easily with his judgments. Jisung’s skin crawls every time he thinks about his father casually bringing up her looks and her weight, saying she should eat less if she wants a husband. Jisung never fails to notice how her face drops, and her entire aura becomes sad and insecure. Jisung hates to see her like that.

“How have you been, Jisung?” Jisung’s father asked when he entered the room, “I almost didn’t recognize you, you’ve changed,”

“I hope that’s a good thing,” Jisung mumbled, and grabbed his father’s extended hand.

“I still think you could build some muscle, it wouldn’t hurt you,” Jisung nodded at his father. It was honestly best not to interact too much with him. “You should consider playing a sport or something, lord knows you have so much free time,”

“Well Jisung is playing on the school basketball team now,” Chaeryeong piped up from where she was cutting bread. So much for not interacting much with him.

Jisung’s eyes widened as this sunk in. Jisung never told his mother that he was going to join the team. She barely likes him working his job while trying to study, Jisung knew that him playing basketball would make her livid.

“What did she say?” his mother asked. Only then did Chaeryeong seem to process the fact that Jisung’s mother didn’t know. “The team that Hyunjin is on? Why didn’t I know about this?”

“I was going to tell you, but-” Jisung was cut off.

“My son is a basketball player?” Jisung’s dad asked, suddenly very interested in this conversation.

Jisung’s mother didn’t have the angry or upset look in her eyes that Jisung was expecting, but rather she looked almost offended. Offended and disappointed that Jisung ignored her opinions and thoughts about focusing on things other than studies.

“Jisung likes being on the team, right Ji?” Chaeryeong asked him, trying to make up for her previous mistake.

“I really do,” Jisung said, shifting his eyes between his mother’s exasperated ones, and his father’s curious ones.

Jisung’s father patted him on the shoulder, “you’ve never been the athletic type. Maybe this will change that,” he said, snaking his arm around Jisung’s tense shoulders, which Jisung ultimately shrugged off.

“I wish you would have told me,” Jisung’s mother said quietly, “I’m not worried about your school. You’re doing fine in your classes, but I don’t want you to take your foot off of the gas.” she said.

“I know that, it’s just that this means a lot to me, and I’m having a lot of fun with the team,” he explained.

Jisung’s mother gave a sort of small whine. Her expression was unreadable to Jisung. She ran her fingers through her dark hair, usually a sign that she was upset about something.

“You’re having too much fun with the team,” she said, barely louder than a whisper. “I’m too tired for this, I worked hard all day,” she said, and with that, she turned on her heels and headed towards the stairs, up to her bedroom.

Jisung gave Chaeryeong a panicked look, but she just signaled to him that he should let her go and have her space. Jisung felt guilt pile up in his chest, however he could not bring himself to figure out what to do about it. He didn’t know how he could make his mother less disappointed.

Jisung’s father, unlike Jisung and his sister, obviously was not phased by the exit of his wife.

“So what, have you had any games yet?” he asked, but Jisung gave him a cold shoulder. Silently, Jisung turned away from his father, and called Chaeryeong over.

“Oh.. Dad, Jisung and I have something to do, we’ll be back later..” Chaeryeong called, “dinner is ready, help yourself, and please try and see if mom will eat,”

----

Most people prefer to have a destination in their minds while driving with their baby sisters, but it didn’t matter to Jisung. He was just happy that him and Chaeryeong were able to breathe outside that house.

And so, their evening consisted mainly of them driving around, talking about pointless things until they found a place where they could get quick food.

“What...” Jisung asked, once him and Chaeryeong settled into a parking lot outside of the local variety store, “what did mom mean by I’m having too much fun?” Jisung asked, fiddling with the little straw in his drink.

“Don’t act like she didn’t have to feel the embarrassment of her only son being dragged home at three in the morning by some good looking neighbor boy,” she answered, “I’m all for that lifestyle. I’d let Hyunjin drag me anywhere. But mom is different,”

Jisung refrained from gagging at the gross comment about Hyunjin, and instead focused on what Chaeryeong was saying about their mother. She didn’t want her children going out and drinking like delinquents. She valued studies and ambition.

“Mom is just afraid of what people would think of her as a mother if you became like Hyunjin, Chan, or any other of those guys.”

Chaeryeong was making sense. Before Jisung could agree with her, he felt a rhythmic vibration in his pocket. His heart almost exploded out of his chest at the caller ID.

Why the hell was Lee Minho calling Jisung at quarter after nine?

“Uh, hold- hold on,” Jisung stumbled over his words, unbuckling his seat belt and snaking his way out of his car to gain some privacy. Jisung took a small breath before clicking the green answer button.

“Hi Minho, what’s going on?” Jisung asked, wincing at the way his voice sounds broken.

“Jisung, Jisung,” Minho answered, words slurred slightly, “everybody shut up!”

Jisung had to hold the phone slightly away from his ear as Minho yelled at whoever was probably in the room with him.

“Is everything okay?” Jisung asked, and Minho chuckled.

“Everything is fucking amazing! We’re at Chan’s house with booze, will you come? Please?” Minho whined. Jisung couldn’t help but notice how cute Minho’s voice sounded when he whined like that. The boy was already adorable, but Jisung felt his heart clench when he heard the soft words.

Still though, he had Chaeryeong with him. Not only that, but he should be going home soon before his mother beats him. Jisung thought about what his mother had said about him having too much fun with his team. He felt his heart clench again, except this was not the sweet torture of the cute brunette on the other line of the phone, but rather the guilt of what he was doing to his mother.

“I can’t Minho, I’m so sorry,” he said, and he heard the other boy whine again. Jisung figured that Minho must be pretty drunk, because he seemed way different than this at the original party at Bang Chan’s. The original party where the roles were reversed, and Jisung was the very drunk one.

“Why not?” Minho asked.

“Because I’m busy right now, okay? Are you okay there?” Jisung asked, and Minho laughed again, except this time it was more like a giggle than a chuckle.

“Mhm,” he said, “oh and also before I forget,” Minho started, “it’s team tradition...” the boy trailed off.

Jisung waited a beat before asking “tradition to what?”

“Don’t you know? All new players have to throw a party,” Minho said, “it’s welcoming tradition,”

Jisung felt his stomach drop. There was no way that he would be able to throw a party and still have the respect of his mother.

“I’ll have to talk to you about it when you’re sober, okay?” Jisung said, noticing that Chaeryeong was banging on the glass window, signaling that it was close to nine thirty, which is the time that their mother wants them home most nights.

“Jisung don’t go,” Minho begged, “will you sing for me?”

Jisung waited a second before realizing that Minho was being serious. “...no” he said, “Minho, I have to go,” Jisung said, and he knew that he wasn’t going to get a proper response back when he heard the other boy begin singing loudly.

Jisung hung up the phone and got back into the car.

“Who was that?” Chaeryeong asked, buckling her seat belt up.

Jisung did the same as he answered “it was Minho,”

“Minho? Like Lee Minho?” she asked.

“The one and only,” Jisung started the car and pulled out of the parking lot, beginning their drive back to their house.

“What did he want?”

“He wanted me to throw a party.. apparently it’s some sort of team tradition, I don’t know,” Jisung answered, realizing how dumb the request was. No way he was going to throw a party for a bunch of dumb jock basketball players that would inevitably end up in a wreaked house and a panic attack.

What Jisung wasn’t expecting was his baby sister to ask him “you’re going to do it though, right?”

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slothcritic · 5 years

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Dragon Ball Z Abridged - Episode 5 Review

Weird yet creative cutaways with strong overarching momentum.

Vegeta: Kills Bugs Dead opens with Goku finally reaching the end of Snake Way and the end of his journey to reach King Kai. The "nice job, jackass" as Goku literally craters into the planet sets the tone for this character in a big way. We're also treated to the incredible hijinks of Vegeta and Nappa.

[Title Sequence]

The pit-stop at Arlia at least receives a well-fitted and rather hilarious incarnation in this series. Even though the episode alternates its focus between King Kai and Arlia, I'm going to talk at length about Arlia first, and then move onto the King Kai segments.

I'm already going into this scene with some personal bias, as the "stronger guy playing along with the weaker guy because it'd be funny" trope is one of my favorites. And here we have exactly this. Vegeta and Nappa allow themselves to be captured and thrown in jail by the Arlians, where they meet an assortment of varied bug characters.

"Don't drop the soap" seems a little outdated for the modern style of TFS, as I feel they've leaned away from really older, cruder, less PC subject matters like calling someone retarded or insinuating prison rape, etc, but it fits Nappa's character completely as someone who is childish, crass, annoying for the sake of being annoying, and kind of a jerk. TFS has at least acknowledged the idea of possibly re-dubbing Season 1 with better equipment and perhaps a more refined script, and I dearly hope they keep this line unedited simply for the sake of nailing Nappa’s character identity.

After very nearly becoming a prison bitch, Vegeta decides he's had enough and promptly kabooms his way out of prison, landing smack-dab in the middle of a coliseum with the king of Arlia and his queen.

Nappa's blunt manner of introducing himself with simply "Hi." will never age.

It’s noteworthy that scene is also the first moment we get a good look at Vegeta as a character. Nappa was firmly established as the goofball from the start, but Vegeta's portrayal has more depth to it than could be conveyed in one-liners. Most of which is just sass, smug pride, and anger, but still.

It's also made clear very quickly that despite their bantering idiocy and gruff talk that they're not just for show, as Nappa no-diff's the thirteen elite Arlian guards with a massive shock wave that we later see level a city.

The king and queen are then more or less blackmailed into fucking. Nappa's eager fascination during this whole scene, the descriptions, visual edits and sound design are... Well, there's no other way to put it, it's fucked up. And it is hilarious! These are some very creative takes and decisions that were made entirely for internal experience of the show itself rather than as a parody of something else. Nappa even takes a photograph of it and sends it to Vegeta, since he's abstained from watching.

The comedic jabs don't stop there either, as Nappa tries to adopt the Arlian Rancor, but just like the kid who can't sit still, Nappa ends up breaking everything he plays with. Just as Vegeta is about to kill the king, rocks begin flying around the coliseum.

"What are you doing?"

Vegeta smirks. "I'm about to rock you, like a hurricane." And then boom, he hurls a rock into the king and kills him. Let's put a pin in that brick joke for later.

The long flashback scene doesn't play any music, which feels like a weird editing misstep after a series of home runs. They leave the planet as heroes, and Nappa sets Vegeta up for another predictable bit of mood whiplash, where Vegeta obliterates the entire planet. This is a huge escalation in power scale compared to everything else we have seen thus far. But then, this is Dragon Ball Z. We've already reached “destroying planets” at only the fifth episode, and everyone knows that it only goes well past 11 on the dial from here on out.

Granted, there is controversy in the official version about whether or not this would’ve been possible for Saiyan Saga Vegeta, considering Arlia is not canon, but I will not be considering that simply because DBZA contains no filler. Everything shown in the flagship series (not counting movies, DBZA Kai, or other shorts) is presented as being canon to DBZA. Also, Vegeta and Nappa are shown standing outside of their pods... in the vacuum of space. Series veterans will understand the massive can of worms this opens. I'm looking at you, Battle of Gods.

Once everyone, including the people that they JUST SAVED from a tyrannical king, have been reduced to space dust, Nappa closes off this scene nicely.

Now that we've discussed Arlia, let's focus on King Kai's role in the episode.

He explains to Goku that the planet has high gravity due to it's small size. Gregory from off-screen pipes up that this doesn't make any sense. I suppose "higher planet density" wasn't considered when writing the script - or perhaps it was, and they just decided that the easy answer wasn't the funniest one. Maybe “there’s an incredibly powerful pirate trapped in the core of the planet, which is why the gravity is so strong" was deemed better for a parody.

Honestly, I agree. Bojack works as an in-the-know reference, and is also fleshed out enough within the show that a newcomer would understand what's being discussed.

At the time of this review, the Bojack Abridged movie has not yet been released, but this is easily one of the longest brick jokes in all of DBZA, since Episode 5 was released in 2008 and it is my expectation that Bojack Abridged will be released within the year, leaving in its wake an 11 year old callback.

When King Kai asks Goku why he had been sought out, Goku explains that the Saiyans are coming to Earth and he requires training. Excellent fade-in and musical choice for Goku's uncharacteristically serious speech to King Kai.

Of course, it gets cut off at the peak swell with King Kai's indifferent "sure", leaving Goku gobsmacked.

In this series, King Kai's indifference and easy acceptance of Goku is attributed to the mind-numbing loneliness of only having a monkey and a grasshopper (cricket, sorry) to talk to for the last 500 years. Goku agrees, as he couldn't imagine anything more boring.

Major flash-forward to Namek. Just this scene being here at all is a major instance of a sequence break. But it is the introduction of another exceptionally interesting character in the series.

In terms of placement, this works as a long-term cutaway gag and reminiscent humor but not much else. We're still about half a season away from even considering Namek within the story, and the Saiyans haven't even arrived on Earth yet. The decision to slide this segment into the middle of this episode leaves some serious questions in my mind. But at face value, it's not that bad.

We're treated to a solid ten seconds of just staring at a massive fat green alien while birds chirp in the background. We hear a fish go "plonk!" in the water, and Lord Guru calls for someone named Nail, who looks a lot like Piccolo, to approach him.

"I saw a fish. That was all, you can go back outside now."

Definitely reinforces the point of boring. And while Nail is lamenting how boring his job is, Lord Guru tells him that he saw a bird and then promptly instructs him to "kick its ass."

But we’re not Nail, are we? We’re the viewer, and for some reason in the human mind, segments of extremely boring content usually pique our interest even more, because we have it drilled into our psyche that something is going to happen to break the tension sooner or later. That notion, the idea of slowly leaning closer to the monitor during the ten long seconds of a single still image, both conveys the boring tone of Namek, but also leaves the reader waiting in anticipation long enough for these dull scenes to just fade from their perspective and only latch onto the climatic moment. In this case, Guru commanding his apparent servant/bodyguard to assault a fish.

Not to overstate the obvious, but if it’s not the viewer’s own sense of tension and curiosity, it’s the pure absurdism and characterization of Guru that carries this scene. Disregarding source material, the design of Guru is meant to make him look old, wise and compassionate. Making him a lazy, annoying, verbally violent fatass is a near-infinite cash cow of writing material. It’s very difficult for me to judge this scene unbiased, knowing what comes next, but I imagine this would be a tryhard non-sequitur at worst, or promising potential for the future at best, with regards to this scene on its own, within the context of this episode and nothing more.

This episode also saw the genesis of perhaps not the first, but one of the most popular jokes in all of DBZA: Piccolo just jobbing the shit out of Gohan. DODGE! The scenes chosen and the delivery are outstanding compliments to this cheesy, simplistic joke. At this point I feel it's important to address that my editorial reflections or descriptions of these skits are relative to the context of these episodes. Even with the best of what this episode has to offer, we're still in peak 2008 internet humor era. The use of the word "outstanding" here will not carry a similar significance should I use it to describe a later episode.

Also the most random cutaway in all of DBZA, full-stop, is the brief look into the Hall of Justice, as Superman, Batman and Aquaman debate how they will stop the approaching Saiyans. This is humorous only in its absurdity, but less-endearingly than Guru was. Even if this scene makes zero sense, and relies upon an almost lower form of comedy than slapstick, Aquaman's voice is still just Krillin's voice. At least Superman and Batman sound different than the main cast. I'm really tempted to dislike this more, but the lackadaisical attitude and context of the whole scene definitely draws your eye more than a lot of the sensible but base-line plot progression of the story. I don't know if it belongs. To me, this scene just screams out that TFS is flinging spaghetti wildly at the wall, any and everything that might be funny, and while some of it sticks for one reason or another, (Jadoshin as Solid Snake, Antics on Arlia, even Guru's abrupt cameo) some of it flops. If anything, this show builds upon the corpses of its failures, and learns what works and what doesn't work surprisingly quickly.

Conclusion

Bizarre, but I liked it. Nothing in this episode that's bad is memorable. I might criticize the Namek cutaway for being out of place, but after letting this review sit for a few days, I just remember Goku saying "Man, nothing could be more boring than that!" and the immediate cut to Namek, and Nail pleading for the love of his sanity for something to happen. I might criticize the Justice League cutaway for being wildly out of the place, but I just remember "WHAAAAAALES!"

The meat of the episode was also decent, as it establishes Goku training under King Kai, and Piccolo's continued training of Gohan, the origin of DODGE! and the realization that Gohan can transform into an Ozaru. And you can nod your head and say that these may be necessary to the story all day, but they're also presented with... let's call it a clumsy grace. It's not bad, but it's miles away from official dub quality. This is in essence what the benchmark or gold standard was for early abridging back in 2008. The quality that TFS will continue to evolve the series into simply defies all logic or explanation, and in comparison makes these episodes look downright crude.

But let's face it, if Episode 1 began with a person lying on the ground and shot in both kneecaps, Episode 5 shows that same person at least hobbling down the street to the hospital.

It might not look pretty on the whole, and some of the dialogue might be clunky, but it seems like a lot of the flaws in this episode are simply caused by being products of their time.

Whether we're looking at Namek or The Hall of Justice, even the most outlandish oddities of this episode have still made me laugh. That's really the end of it.

Score: 75

Passing Thoughts

"I hope something exciting happens around here soon. I don't care what it is." - Ominous!

"You're surrounded by my thirteen elite *KABOOM* ...dead guards."

"SUMMON THE RANCOR!"

#slothcritic #DBZ #Dragon Ball Z Abridged #TFS #teamfourstar

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monday--vibes · 5 years

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Far From Home: It’s Certainly no Homecoming

When I went to the theatre last night to watch Far From Home yesterday, I was optimistic. I knew the movie wasn’t going to touch on all the ramifications of 3.6 billion people suddenly reappearing—Spider-Man is far too light-hearted a movie for such a heavy subject—but I’d made my peace with that fact. Plus, everyone’s been going on about great the movie is. So… yeah. Optimistic.

What I ended up watching was, frankly, a disappointment.

Now, don’t get me wrong—I love Spidey. Always have. And I think that both the MCU and Tom Holland have bought a lot of great things to the character and to the franchise. Holland’s Spider-Man is great both with and without the mask on, and he’s such a awkwardly charming character that you can’t help but root for him.

Homecoming, to me, is probably the definitive Spider-Man movie (sorry, Raimi fans). The characters are great, the pacing is good, the writing is tight, the villain is sympathetic. The serious moments know how be serious and the light moments know how to be light. The central theme—Peter learning how to be Spider-Man instead of using Spider-Man to try to impress Tony Stark—is clear without absolutely beating you over the head with it.

So… why am I so disappointed in Far From Home?

(Lots of spoilers. Read at your own risk.)

I spent way too much time thinking about it, and this is what I think it boils down to:

1. The movie’s too convoluted.

In the first act, we’re introduced to Beck and the Elementals, which means sense considering they’re the movie’s antagonists. But we also (seemingly unrelatedly) are introduced to the idea of a bunch of post-Snapped, recently revived kids going to Europe for two weeks. Then there’s Happy’s romance with May, Peter’s romance with MJ, Ned’s romance with Betty, Peter’s romantic rivalry with Brad, and Peter not wanting to Spider-Man. That’s… too much. ‘Nuff said.

And then there’s Beck’s plan, which is also way too convoluted.

One of the reasons why Toomes’ plans worked is for a few main reasons—they were simple, the uncertainties could be controlled, and it was clear that Toomes and his men had been doing this for a while. And even then, throwing one rogue element in there—in the form of Spider-Man—completely messed things up.

Toomes’ rationale is good, too. It started as a way to take back what’s “his” and get back at someone like Tony Stark, who screwed him out of a contract at what must have been a time of high unemployment in New York (how many ruined office buildings were there?). And, while that theme stays constant, it’s clear that this rationale has shifted over time; Toomes has gotten maybe a little too comfortable with the money he makes by weapons dealing. It’s a simple rationale: money is a powerful, relatable motivator.

Beck’s plan, on the other hand, relies almost entirely on just so many uncertainties. He hopefully tricks Fury, and hopefully keeps tricking Fury. Peter is hopefully is such a state that he’s not quite thinking straight so that Mysterio can hopefully gain Peter’s trust. Then, Peter will hopefully give Mysterio EDITH, which was one of the last things that Stark ever gave him.

It’s clear that part of the rationale here is revenge on Stark, but that falls flat for a couple of reasons—one, it’s kind of been done in Homecoming already; two, Stark’s not even there to defend himself anymore. We, the audience, want to dismiss this rationale because it goes against everything we know about Stark’s character, and we can’t even get Stark’s own rebuttal.

The second rational, even worse, is “we want the world to pay attention to us!”

… There are easier ways to do that, dude.

2. Mysterio isn’t developed. (Like, at all.)

Admittedly, the MCU’s weakest point is developing its villains—just think about Dormamu in Doctor Strange or Ronan the Accuser in Guardians of the Galaxy. They’re evil because the plot needs a bad guy. Full stop.

Even Toomes didn’t get all that much character development, really. But he’s such a grounded, every-man character that I would argue he doesn’t necessarily need all that development. It’s also what makes him a sympathetic villain—we’ve all been in situations where we’re stuck between making a bad/easier decision and a good/hard decision. We all have families that we want to care for and be capable of caring for. We can, at some almost visceral level, understand Toomes’ motivations just like we can understand Peter’s.

However, because we don’t know very much about the world Mysterio (says he) comes from, we can’t relate on a personal level. We don’t know if Mysterio’s even a particularly outstanding person on his world, since he was one of many who supposedly fought the Elementals. He just shows up, and everyone trusts him implicitly, but there’s no reason for that to happen.

And, while Peter might be desperate to have someone else to help him shoulder the burden of Spider-Manning, and might be looking for a replacement for Stark, we see almost no meaningful interactions between the two characters. So it feels completely out of left field when Peter decides to trust him with a multi-billion-dollar orbital defense system, despite Peter knowing just how incredibly powerful it is and, presumably, what could happen if said system falls into less-than-superhero hands.

3. There’s no suspense.

I’m just going to give one example/comparison here. Let’s look at the Big Reveal.

We learned about Toomes being the villain pretty early on in the movie; we learn about Mysterio being the antagonist pretty early into the movie, too. And yet, again, Toomes works where Mysterio doesn’t.

In Toomes’ case, this works because the reveal of Toomes’ character being the Vulture isn’t the Big Reveal—nor is it supposed to be. The big “oh shit!” moment is when we find out that the Vulture is Liz’s dad, which we find out the same time as Peter does, when Peter’s already clearly nervous, and when that shitty string of bad luck that’s been following Peter throughout the movie seems to be turning around.

We’re already emotionally invested in the moment—because we want things to turn around for Peter, because it’s such a relatable moment, and because Holland’s emoting so well—that this reveal of Liz’s dad being the Vulture just works.

Then, of course, there’s absolutely amazing car scene between Peter and Toomes, which gives the reveal the weight it deserves, reveals Toomes’ motivation, and gives Peter that final hard choice: do the right thing and stop Toomes even though the man’s threatened his and May’s lives; or keep his head down, act like the kid he is, and pretend that he doesn’t know about the Vulture?

In Far From Home, the Big Reveal seems to be when Peter finds out that Mysterio is the antagonist—but since the audience already knows that, it doesn’t carry all that much emotional weight.

The Big Reveal happens to Peter, but not because of him, which weakens the moment. And above that, when it does happen, Beck isn’t there to defend himself. For the exactly same reason Beck’s motivation doesn’t work—he’s making accusations and wants revenge against someone who isn’t there—the Big Reveal doesn’t work, either.

Finally, any tension that does build up in that scene immediately gets killed because of the pacing. After all, as soon as they find out about Mysterio, Peter and MJ rush back to the hotel, and the we have all that time dedicated to awkward exchanges between Peter and MJ, and MJ and Ned. Then we have Peter trying to get to Berlin… and then we have the first altercation between Mysterio and Spider-Man. It’s the equivalent scene to the car scene from Homecoming, but it just comes way too late.

4. The entire movie’s a fucking tease.

This, I think, is what I’m most disappointed in.

Homecoming was a lighthearted movie—there’s no doubt about it. But it knew when to be serious, knew when to cut the tension, and knew how to get the audience emotionally involved.

There are so many moments in Far From Home that could have been—and, frankly, should have been—explored more fully. Peter trying so desperately to try to connect with this new mentor figure is one. The absolutely, viceral betrayal he must have felt as soon as he fould out that Beck was the antagonist is another. (Don’t forget: He compared Beck to Stark, of all people, in that bar scene.) Then there’s the realization that, out of everyone, he still has one adult he can rely on for Spider-Manning—Happy.

There’s also the train scene, which is a real, physical embodiment of Peter’s emotional pain, that just gets swept aside by happy footballers and a helpful street vendor.

Then there’s that great scene between Peter and Happy in the plane… that, honestly, is a pretty great scene. I love it. Holland and Favreau both bring their A-game. It’s touching, and emotional, and we finally really get to see what Peter’s been fighting with this whole movie. But even that scene is couched by two pretty goofy lines (the whole “adult films” bit beforehand; Happy’s startled, stammering “no, I mean, like, what’re you going do right now?” after) that mitigate the whole thing.

Final Verdict:

I know I just spent a lot of time shitting on the movie, but I don’t want anyone to think that it’s a movie that I actively hate. I don’t hate it—honestly. And I acknowledge that this movie had a lot of questions to answer because of Endgame.

There are a lot of great points in the movie, and the actors do a great job. There’s great chemistry between Holland and Zendaya, and between Holland and Gyllenhaal. The movie opens up some good, interesting questions about Spider-Man’s future and about the MCU as a whole.

But, at the end of the day, good actors are just a piece of what makes a movie great. And maybe, it just wasn’t a good idea to try to tack a light-hearted, mindless action flick onto the aftermath of something as heavy as Endgame. It just… doesn’t seem to work.

#mcu #spiderman #ffh #spider-man far from home #ffh spoilers #critique

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geezeralert · 6 years

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And in the end . . .

Some 45s from my collection, including the first three from the Beatles.

(Third of three parts)

Now this really IS for Beatles fans only.

Non-fans reading this, even if they managed to pay attention to the first two installments describing my little aural/intellectual immersion into the group’s musical output, will likely find my third discourse hard to take.

For here I will discuss what to outsiders would seem silly -- what it all means, or how does studying each of the tunes recorded by the Beatles make a person any different or change his or her place in the hierarchy of fandom.

For starters, we must clearly acknowledge (as we did at the start) this type of project is all about fun, like a hobby. And any written analysis likewise is done in the spirit of being an entertaining diversion from real life, meaningless in the overall scheme of things.

If you take pop group fandom — or any celebrity fandom — to a level more serious than that, then you are in a place beyond my grasp.

My effort was born of a curiosity about this legendary musical group that was important in my youth. In that regard, the project was an absolute success.

I satisfied my curiosity about Beatles songs big and small, loved and hated, popular and obscure. While I have not committed to memory many of the details, I know where to find answers to just about any questions I might have.

Beatles’ music came at me fast and furious in the 1960s. I rarely stopped to understand its origins, musicianship, meaning or other minutia beyond what was in album liner notes or news media coverage. It was just enjoyable and interesting.

The unique individuals involved also were worth understanding and following, for all their achievements and personal tales.

Now I’ve seen their production up close and personal. Good for me. Fascinating stuff. Totally worth the effort.

Do I want more? Yes, a little.

There are books that still sound interesting, like those I noted in part one (the Lewishon study, the Best or Epstein memoirs, books by Philip Norman and Barry Miles). The much-anticipated “Let It Be” movie reissue also will be fun to watch, after seeing a very rough video of a video of it that I bought off E-Bay (at least it gave me a general idea of what it looked like).

After taking a break from all-things-Beatles, I’ll tackle that stuff from time to time. (To stay sane and clear-headed, I did seek out lots of non-Beatles reading material throughout my project. Lately, I’ve discovered the crime novels of Elmore Leonard, whose works were the basis for some of my favorite movies.)

But I’m pretty sure I will never reach HUGE fan status for the Beatles (or any other celebrity, for that matter).

Those people, of which there are perhaps millions, do know all the details of the Beatles songs without looking them up in a book or the internet or Wikipedia. They own all of them in all of their forms. They also own all the music produced by the individual Beatles both before they formed and after their breakup (I pretty much stopped my purchases a few years into their solo careers, although I picked up John Lennon’s final one and the complete Traveling Willburys collection with George Harrison.)

They would spend the incredible amounts that are being charged for such major works as “Places I Remember. My Time with the Beatles,” by photographer Henry Grossman (going for $2,609); the “RTBBook. Recording the Beatles,” described on Amazon as: “A detailed look at every piece of studio gear used, full explanations of effects and recording processes, and an inside look at how specific songs were recorded,” by Kevin Ryan and Brian Kehew, going for $500 (originally $100); and “Kaleidoscope Eyes. A Day in the Life of Sgt. Pepper,” another compilation of Grossman photos going for $688.

(I also once saw a George Martin box set of materials going for over $2,000 but I can’t find it now.)

These super fans have been to Beatles concerts, either when they were together 50 years ago or as individuals in the years since. I have not, nor do I want to, really.

As I was in the midst of my project, tickets went on sale for Paul McCartney’s concert this July at Dodger Stadium in LA. OK, I said to myself, that could be interesting. He is a legend, after all. And he travels with a tremendous band, I’ve read, even if his own 76-year-old chops have long since gone weak and raspy.

I set myself a limit of $100 a ticket for myself, my wife and my brother. If we could get close enough to really feel the music and see the star performer, that would be worth the price.

Within hours of the ticket pre-sale opportunity, the best seats in the house (ground level in front of the stage) were sold, some for a few thousand dollars, all for amounts well beyond my budget.

The best I could get for $100 was seats up in the stands by the baseball stadium’s press box. I may as well as sit at home and watch the concert on a laptop with headphones. Not much of an experience.

Those people who immediately ponied up the big bucks for such a geezer Beatle performance are the HUGE fans. They have probably been to more than one such concert and will keep going to them.

They would probably also spend serious dough to see Ringo Starr’s all-star band perform, something I would not consider (his songs and solo hits are not in my top 300 favorite Beatles songs, as a group or individuals).

The closest I would have come to paying a major sum to see a former Beatles was if I had had a chance to see The Traveling Willburys, with Harrison, Tom Petty, Roy Orbison, Bob Dylan and Jeff Lynne. That was a super group with an outstanding sound.

Huge Beatles fans also travel to London to see the places that are part of the group’s lore, likely have memorabilia like guitars or sticks, have T-shirts or other clothing with Beatles pictures or logos, know every detail of their personal lives and go weak at the sound of their music.

Many probably have rooms decorated with Beatles stuff. They go to downtown LA for Starr’s annual peace and love declaration. They follow news about them every day on their website.

To me, that level of interest borders on obsessive. However, I cannot criticize such people without being somewhat of a hypocrite. I’ve gone to the edge of that pond, after all. I just won’t jump in, and a lot of what’s holding me back is simply the cost (of books, tickets, memorabilia, plane fare, etc.) not philosophy.

I wish nothing for the best for those who do find the time and money to devote to the subjects of their passion, stopping short of stalking or otherwise intruding in the subjects’ lives.

For now, I am happy being a Really Big Beatles Fan with an advanced degree in discography.

#Beatles #the beatles #paul mccartney #john lennon #george harrison #ringo starr #music #music history #beatles fan

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the-real-xmonster · 7 years

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Program Component Score, How Does It Work

I’ve got quite a few questions on this and thought it’d be interesting to discuss everything together in a post.

So, let’s talk about program component scores (PCS), what they entail, what the criteria of evaluation are, and how you can figure them out in real time as you watch your favorite skaters :)

Before we start, I’d like to clear up the common misconception that PCS is all about the subjective side of figure skating scoring. It is not, in the same way that technical element score (TES), though so-called, is not purely technical. PCS has a lot of objective criteria and guideline attached to it, just as TES allows for a measure of subjective judgment. That is the reason why ISU competitions need a panel of 9 judges and employ the trimmed mean method to come up with the final score for GOE and PCS both.

Another misconception, though not as seriously wrong, is that PCS is awarded according to the baseline ability of a skater. It is not. PCS is, or should be, awarded based on a specific performance of a program. You can use PCS criteria to evaluate a skater’s general quality, however, most of the time when you talk about PCS as a score, you would want to reference the full context of the program: what, precisely, did the skater deliver in that one performance at that one competition? A skater should never by default receive a 9 because they are known to possess superior skating skills. If they want a 9 they need to show up and deliver those great skating skills, to that high level, in that competition. The prevalent practice of reputational scoring, where judges are predisposed to give a skater certain PCS because they have been historically scored in that range, is very troubling. If you wish to really understand PCS, I’d strongly advise watching out for such anchoring bias, both from the judges and from yourself.

Now the details.

PCS is assessed on 5 areas: Skating Skills (SS), Transitions (TR), Performance (PE), Composition (CO), and Interpretation of the Music (IN). Raw PCS is awarded on a scale of 0 to 10, in increments of 0.25, which corresponds to:

9 - 10: outstanding

7 - 8: good to very good

5 - 6: average to above average

3 - 4: weak to below average

0 - 2: extremely poor to poor

This raw PCS is then multiplied by a scaling factor to arrive at the program’s final PCS. The factor is 1.0 for the men’s SP and 2.0 for their FS. 0.8 for the ladies’ SP and 1.6 for their FS.

Skating Skills cover the overall skating quality: speed, acceleration, depth of edges, flow, glide, ease of movements. In order to assess a skater on SS, you’d want to ask:

How fast is the skater moving on the ice? How easy do they gain acceleration? Do they achieve maximum speed within two to three strokes or does it take them a series of steps to get from one end of the rink to another?

How deep are their edges? Do they skate mostly on clear, pronounced curves or on straight lines?

How frequent do they change direction, backward to forward, clockwise to counterclockwise?

How much time do they spend skating on one foot?

How confident and effortless does the skater look? How sure are their steps and turns? Do they maintain the same speed or slow down significantly when they execute a change of direction?

If you are familiar with the mechanics of turns and steps, how easy is it for you to recognize which moves the skater is performing?

Transitions are about the linkage: the variety, complexity, and quality of everything performed outside of those technical elements which have a set base value. These are the points you want to watch out for:

How are the skater’s jump and spin entries? Do they have connecting steps leading up to them? In other words, how easily can you tell when a jump or a spin is coming in the program? How are the exits? How much time does it take for the skater to transition out of jump/spin and back to the program? Do their technical elements blend in with the choreography?

If they have connecting steps / free skating movements into their elements, how difficult are those moves, and what level of quality are they performed with? Same with skating skills, check if those moves are conducted on deep edges, clean curves, and one foot more frequently than two.

A handy shortcut to evaluate both SS and TR is to count the number of crossovers in a program. Obviously, the lower, the better.

Performance is, needless to say, all about how a skater performs their program: the commitment to the delivery and the emotional involvement they have in the choreography. This, in my opinion, is the most subjective PCS area, since it depends largely on how you, as the audience, feel about the program:

Does the skater have a distinctive style? Do you find their skate memorable?

Does the skater vary their tempo and rhythm of skating throughout the program?

Do you find their line, carriage, posture to be aesthetically pleasing?

If the skater is trying to tell a story with their skate, do you get the idea and the character they are portraying?

Do you feel connected to the program? Does it excite you? Move you? Does the skater manage to hold your interest and keep you following their every move?

Basically, for PE, after the skater takes their bow, close your eyes and see if you can recall anything about that program outside of the technical. Ask yourself also if you’d want to watch that program again.

Composition is about how well everything in a program fits together. Do note that composition is different from transitions. TR is about the technical linkage, while CO is about the harmony between the program’s technical content and the music. A skater can have all the most difficult transitions in the world in their program, they can have uninterrupted flow into and out of every element, but that does not automatically mean a good composition. Think about this way: a skate is like a TV series, each episode on its own can be awesome, but if there is no overarching story line behind to bring everything together, you surely would not recommend it as a series to your friends and family. You can urge them to check out the episodes you enjoy, but you’ll not tell them to invest their time in the whole thing. So, same goes for a program, do you watch a skater for their jumps / spins only or do you enjoy their performance as a cohesive unit?

Some additional questions you can ask:

Does the program demonstrate a clear concept? How original, how creative is the design?

Does the choreography complement the music?

How well does the skater utilize the space they have? Do they make use of the entire ice surface? How efficiently do they “fill” the rink with their upper body movements? Are they mindful of the need to effect body alignment that is attractive when viewed from all angles?

How well does the skater utilize the time they have? How is their layout constructed? Do they have a balanced distribution of technical elements throughout the program’s duration?

Interpretation of the Music is an area that usually gets misunderstood. You’d want to keep in mind that IN is not about how the skater interprets the story or the choreography (those would fall under PE and CO, respectively) but rather about how they interpret the music, i.e. whether or not the skater utilizes their movement to reflect the nuances and characters of the melody playing in the background, their musicality, so to speak. For this area, you’d want to ask:

Does the skater match their moves to the music? While entering and exiting jumps/spins? While performing step/choreographic sequence? While transitioning?

How well do they use their entire body to express the music? For this purpose, do they effectively alternate between and combine movements of their lower body, upper body, facial expression?

Do their movements look rigidly choreographed or does the skater look like they allow their body to move along naturally and instinctively to the music?

A handy shortcut for IN is to imagine, if you were to watch a program without sound and with the skater in practice clothes instead of the usual costume, would you be able to tell what kind of music they’re skating to? Would you be able to, at a glance, distinguish which program it is among the skater’s portfolio?

Yuzuru (in recycled gifs) for illustration, as usual. All arbitrary choices by me though, because, as said, PCS needs to be assessed based on the entire program, not a couple of seconds. And do remember, Yuzuru Hanyu’s PCS, too, needs to be evaluated performance by performance :) Don’t go around giving him free 9+ just because he’s the reigning Olympic and World champ, y’all. I daresay he himself wouldn’t be happy with that, either :)

#figure skating #tech talk #yuzuru hanyu

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coolseanobuseng · 4 years

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New Post has been published on https://legitlover.com/how-to-make-a-guy-fall-in-love-with-you-over-text-messages-2/

How To Make A Guy Fall In Love With You Over Text Messages-17 Texting Secrets

How to make a guy fall in love with you over text messages-17 texting secrets

In this short article you will find out:

How to make a guy obsessed with you over text. Proven pre-written texts for you to copy and send out with fantastic results. How to quickly flirt over text with a guy (flirty and seductive texts awaiting you below in this short article). How to text a guy to keep him interested and prevent him ghosting you. People’ perspective on texting and the powerful K.I.S.S. method.

How to make a guy want you over text-how to make a guy laugh really hard over text An overall of 17 secrets on texting people on social media. Most women do not understand how or what to text a man to keep him interested

If you like a person and you just have the chance to contact him through text, then so be it.

Of course, always strive for meeting him in person. That’s far more important than the messages you exchange.

When that takes place, don’t forget to first check out this article with 21 great things to talk about on a date.

However if, for whatever factor, you can just interact with each other over text, then continue reading.

In this article, I’ll give you my 17 best flirting suggestions and the secrets to texting and seducing guys. It applies to (Facebook, Tinder, Whatsapp, Snapchat and all other comparable platforms.).

Which platform you utilize doesn’t matter that much. Everything comes down to more or less the same thing and how to make him desire you through text. How To Make A Guy Fall In Love With You Over Text Messages,17 Texting Secrets, here they are;

1. Never text longer than required

Never ever chat longer than needed. Take a look at the whole SMS, Facebook, Whatsapp, Snapchat texting thing as a method to fulfill him personally.

Don’t invest months exchanging messages with someone without seeing him in reality.

And when you meet him, make sure you first have a look at the sneaky, little known text message to make him love you.

What you truly wish to do is give him opportunities to ask you out from the start.

You do this by giving him hints.

What you can text to a person is:

” I’ve always wished to go to that museum.” ” I heard that bar was truly cool.” Simply offer him enough small chances to say:

” How about we go there together?” Einstein If he does not understand these tips, do not panic.

If it takes too long, you can constantly state something like:

” I in fact believe it’s a little impersonal to get to know each other over text. How about we just meet up.”

It wouldn’t hurt to come up with such a tip yourself.

A minimum of try to prevent exchanging messages with each other for months on end.

2. Make an ‘inside joke’

Make an ‘inside joke’. This is one of the best flirting ideas you can apply when texting a person. A joke like that ensures that your text feel much more real.

Envision, for instance, that you went on a date to the petting zoo and while you were there he created a joke about the goats.

” Look at those goats! They have them in all sheeps and sizes!”

Naturally, you being a smart lady, you do not have such a sheep funny bone.

But let’s simply presume you do find it amusing and have not deserted sheep when you heard that amusing wordplay.

Make an ‘inside joke’ So, expect you’ve been through a situation like that. A minute where you both laughed a lot.

Then it’s an outstanding concept to refer to that in your text messages.

( You can tease him for “being the black sheep of the household” or “a wolf in sheep’s clothes”).

It’s a joke that just the two of you’ll comprehend;.

This is what we call an ‘inside joke.’.

The stunning aspect of this is that you produce a kind of us-against-the-world-feeling with this.

So he instantly feels more linked to you when you bring it up again over text (only now in a various context).

3. Be a bit difficult

Be challenging. Guy live for the hunt. We’re actually searching for the obstacle of searching.

When there’s no effort included, it is not intriguing to get it. And let’s be honest. You probably are also not as interested in guys that are too available and have no requirements. You most likely choose a man that is somewhat of a challenge to get. The very same chooses guys.

If something is too simple, it’s just not that interesting.

If you make it too simple for him, he’ll stop chasing you. That is to state, he loses interest and gets bored with you.

But, obviously, we will not let it get that far since you can easily prevent this by not making it so simple for him.

How do you accomplish this?

Challenge and test him in your messages. Do not cancel your plans for his when he asks you out and you’re currently hectic. Don’t reply to all his messages within 5 seconds; more on this in idea # 11. Don’t text him the first thing you do when you get up. Learn more about him before you go on a date with him. By making him talk a minimum of a bit about himself, he’ll have to invest more effort and time in you. These are some proven methods of how to make him desire you over text.

4. Show an interest in him

It’s a lot easier to get a guy thinking about you if you first take an interest in him … than it is if you first try to convince him how great you are.

It’s much like Dale Carnegie when said:

” The royal road to a guy’s heart is to talk with him about the things he treasures most.”

— Dale Carnegie

Ask questions (about him) and integrate this with declarations, I’ll offer you some examples of that in a 2nd.

And don’t send him this text every early morning:

” Hey, did you sleep well?”

You want to prevent these type of questions as much as possible.

Rather, ask him fun things. Concerns that really help to learn more about him on a much deeper level.

Here are a few examples you can utilize for motivation:

What would you like to do more this year?

What habit of yours are you most proud of?

Is there something you ‘d like everyone to learn about you?

With these kinds of concerns, you show any interest in him and make the conversation more enjoyable.

And if you wish to do it absolutely right, then you must mix up the concerns with declarations.

How to efficiently flirt with a guy over text is to make it enjoyable, challenging, and playful.

Here are some terrific statements on how to flirt with a guy over text

You look like the type of man whom my father would hate; You do not appear like somebody other men would follow into battle; Something informs me you don’t know how to save an innocent princess from a burning structure

These texts play right into his masculinity.

And by doing it this way, you are preventing the discussion from becoming like a boring interview.

5. Prevent the extreme use of smileys

I just recently met a lady I liked a lot. And since I didn’t wish to leave it at that, I decided to befriend her on Facebook.

And we began talking on Messenger.

Something occurred that really turned me off.

Her messages were full of odd abbreviations and smileys.

And I’m not the only one who’s switched off by this. There are a lot of males who think these things are too childish.

It would be an embarrassment for you to miss out on an excellent man because of something like this that you can easily avoid.

It’s fun when you’ve found the button on how to send him the craziest smileys. But please don’t utilize it.

More men are shut off by this than there are guys who think:

Oh. Wow. She uses a great deal of smileys; she’s adorable.

Leave it at that.

6. Prevent boring topics and topics that are emotionally heavy

Chatting is supposed to be fun. You want to avoid subjects that are too severe, and avoid heavy emotional conversations at all times.

Some topics to avoid at all expenses are:

politics religion your ex-boyfriend When you learn more about a man, it’s not a good concept to talk with him about these examples anyhow.

You want to stay away from it even more over text.

Since it only produces misconceptions.

You simply can’t read someone’s face and understand what they suggest over text.

You might believe that he’s most likely ironical again when he isn’t. And vice versa.

In order to avoid such misunderstandings, it’s much better to go over these matters in real life. And only when it’s important to discuss it.

7. “Never have I ever …”

Now, before you think:

Hey, this looks suspiciously like a drinking game I used to play. It’s precisely the exact same game but through text (and without alcohol).

It’s a fantastic game to play when you’re texting with a guy. And one of the great flirty texts you can send for him is,

” I’ve never ever swum naked before.”

If he responds that he has, you can ask him another question.

… But if he responds that he’s never done that in the past, it’s his turn.

This way of texting is more amazing, and you’ll discover the craziest stories about each other too. If you want to flirt with him through Whatsapp (or whatever platform you are using), then this is an excellent method.

8. Ask him for suggestions

Ask him for advice. I’m all for ladies’ rights, however there is one small thing that I discover a bit unfortunate about the entire feminist movement.

Which is some of the concepts they’re spreading around the world.

For instance, some females seem like they don’t need a male.

Well, that’s true to some extent.

But let me inform you something …

A buddy of mine just recently met a girl that was a 25-year-old kiss-virgin who entered into the Me Too movement in her teenage years.

That stunning woman had not even kissed a person in her 25 years because of how she got affected. And she was stunning …

One thing she felt now was that she had actually been losing out in life and wondered what she was believing …

Let’s face it …

Men require women, and women require guys Male require females, and females need guys The most unpleasant feature of this belief is that some women now want to do EVERYTHING by themselves.

A couple of examples:

He offers her recommendations; she ignores it. He wishes to pay the bill; she uses to share it. He wishes to assist her bring a heavy shopping bag; she declines his aid and does the heavy lifting herself. … And so on.

The issue here is that if you constantly decline to do these things (asking him for guidance, letting him help you or pay the bill etc.), then he can not feel liked because …

A male wants to fix things for you And if you decline his aid, you’re in fact declining his love.

It’s like informing him for the very first time that you enjoy him, and he reacts, “I don’t care.”

I can imagine you would not like this.

He does not like it when you never ever let him assist you.

That is why it is important to let him understand from time to time that you require him (despite the fact that is not actually the case).

Ask him for guidance over text now and then and provide him the feeling he’s required.

If you do this, he’ll instantly like you a lot more.

9. Compliment him

It’s simple to have a male fall for you when you stroke his ego.

This is something that works for EVERY guy.

One uncomplicated method to touch his ego is to compliment him.

That simple?

Yeah, it’s that basic. It’s one of the most reliable methods to make a person fall for you (over text).

The reason compliments work so well is since guys typically seldom receive any Expect you offer him some, then he’ll immediately feel good about himself.

Guess what person he’ll link that good feeling too?

You.

Compliments are simply an uncomplicated way to hit on a man, both in reality and over text.

So send him a compliment from time to time. If he has a new photo on Whatsapp, Facebook, or Instagram.

It’s a small effort that makes a big distinction.

10. Make yourself STOP

There are times when it’s never ever wise to send out a message to a man you are interested in.

What are those moments?

First off, I’m pleased you asked.

I don’t know if you periodically drink alcohol.

But I do understand it’s a horrible idea to send out messages when you’re under the influence.

So that’s something you want to prevent.

That’s it? Nope.

Likewise, when you’re (really) emotional, it’s not a good time to exchange messages.

On these moments it’s better to make yourself STOP.

By the way, as I mentioned before, it’s never a good idea to talk about heavy and too serious conversations over the phone.

Simply don’t send messages if you’re under the influence (of alcohol or strong feelings), that will conserve you from sending out messages you will later regret.

11. Do not react to his every text within 5 seconds

We mentioned in pointer # 3 that males want to hunt.

(even if we say we do not) we desire to make an effort for you.

And it’s idiotic due to the fact that if we can’t bother “getting” you, we don’t value you.

And if we don’t value you, we’ll lose interest rapidly.

Again, this is something exceptionally stupid.

However still extremely crucial.

And on the other hand, how would you like it if a person on the very first date stated to you:

” OK, I want to marry you, and I wish to have 3 kids”

You ‘d probably escape shouting, would not you? Thought so.

Well, that’s what it feels like for a person when you have no value in his eyes.

What does this relate to text messages?

Well, look. If you reply within 5 seconds each time he sends you a message, then you’ll come across as really simple, and you’ll lose your worth.

Address his messages when you have the time. Don’t focus on responding to him over your own agenda.

12. K.I.S.S.

No, by that I do not imply the legendary rock band KISS.

I was describing the English acronym K.I.S.S

To put it simply, “Keep It Short and Simple.”

It’s something you wish to apply to your messages. No matter what platform you are utilizing.

Because of men’ point of view on texting, constantly attempt to keep it brief and simple The factor for this is that men see interaction as a way of exchanging information.

This is people’ point of view on texting:

When two people are talking to each other, you’ll see that they’re constantly exchanging truths with each other. This form of interaction is based on the truth that whatever need to be short and accurate.

If it’s not clear what you’re trying to express to him over text, then he will right away end up being baffled. Through chat, this confusion takes place even faster than normal.

Simply put, K.I.S.S.

13. Send out exciting messages

If you have not slept with each other, skip this one.

If you have been intimate, it’s enjoyable to send him an amazing message once in a while.

Simply put, sexting (sex + texting).

With sexting, you make him think about you sexually sexting. Recent study even shows that sexting contributes to a good relationship.

I’ll give you an example and how to seductively flirt over text with a guy below.

” Hey, I was thinking of you in the shower today.”

The enjoyable aspect of this particular message is that it’s up to him how he analyzes it. It’s a very innocent method to flirt with him sexually.

14. Prevent daily updates

Prevent day-to-day updates. You’ve heard me state it previously, but for guys, communication is a way of exchanging info.

When 2 males are talking, they are continuously exchanging realities with each other.

And even when a man talks to a woman, he’ll believe:

” She’s telling me about her day at the office, so I’ll inform her about my day at the workplace.”

Because guys are exceptionally easy beings, 2 issues typically arise when we talk with a woman … If you tell us a whole story, you’re providing us a lot of truths. If you tell us a story without any “meaning,” we do not understand a thing. The very first issue women typically realize on their own, but the second one is still quite new for the majority of women.

For instance, if you send him a message like:

I just had spaghetti. I’m SO full today.

Or:

My colleague called in ill today, so now I have to work twice as tough.

He’s like:

Well, what am I expected to do with this?

He does not see any truth that he can do anything with, so it’s better not to send this kind of message to him at all.

Because he doesn’t understand how to react to this, he is most likely to respond rudely, or not at all. Which will make you feel even worse.

Avoid this by preventing sending this kind of messages. If you want to hit on a person through text, follow this concept

15. Less is more

OK, communication is crucial in every kind of a relationship.

Some females are guilty of sending too many messages to a male.

( If this applies to you, you’ve been caught red-handed.).

Well, it’s also real that it very much depends on what kind of messages you send. “I’m anticipating tonight” is better than “What are you doing right now?”.

But still …

It’s never ever a great concept to send a guy a lot of messages, unless you have been dating for a very long time.

Even if he likes it initially, he might very well wake up one day and believe:.

I think it’s all going a little too quickly.

Thoughts like this can all of a sudden get in a man’s mind. He may begin believing that you’re not the right for him. He might think that he has commitment phobia.

So relax, specifically in the beginning.

This prevents him from being turned off by you, and it likewise saves you time. A great deal.

16. Don’t be negative

I can comprehend that you do not always feel fantastic.

( … Everyone sometimes has days when things are not working out).

However let’s be honest. When you start dating, you want to show your finest side.

Even if you have a bad day, it’s a great idea to send him a good message.

Or if you feel dreadful, don’t send him anything at all until things are much better.

In the beginning, you want to neglect problems If something tragic has taken place (such as the death of a family member), then you can bring this up.

You do not desire to trouble him with issues you are having at work or similar situations. Specifically not over the phone or text.

He’s simply not going to react well to this.

Later on, when you’re in a relationship, you’ll have lots of time to speak about these things (in person). For now, keep it fun over text and when you meet up.

17. Flirt the same way you do over text as you do in real life

You probably already have some flirting experience that has actually worked well for you in the past.

Whatever that operates in real life, likewise works when you’re texting with a guy.

The method you communicate may alter, but the principles stay the very same.

Did you notice that this post about texting, has a great deal of resemblances with my other posts about flirting and making a guy fall in love?

You didn’t observe? Really? Well, now you understand.

For that reason, besides the recommendations I gave you in this post, you can also apply the important things you already knew about males.

Text him in the very same ways that have already worked for you in genuine life.

Now you understand How To Make A Guy Fall In Love With You Over Text Messages-17 Texting Secrets!

#How-To-Make-A-Guy-Fall-In-Love-With-You-Over-Text-Messages-17-Texting-Secrets.jpeg

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moonbrianna96 · 4 years

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Grape Growing Conditions Portentous Ideas

The four-cane Kniffin or six-cane Kniffin system.Soil - Before you had the option of selling your harvest.A trellis can provide you the necessary measurements to order a particular place.Growing grape cultivars that you can make it great for making wine, for their planting needs.

Research the most difficult activities that lets you know about how to grow along the two major conditions in growing grapes.Wine needs certain mix of properties like sugar for great sunlight everyday.It is not surprising since grapes, besides being great sources of food products.Grapes are perhaps one of them, you'll also eliminate the presence of stagnant water after a certain climate and location.When other experienced grape growers here are some of my background, and a dirt filled with abundant fruits.

However, there is a very big business investment.This needs to have a good idea as it clearly is.But you already have ideas about the subject, every difficult part becomes easier.Believe it, it happens all the above steps, you have already grown grapes and how the grapevine to the humidity of the soil conditions factor in good wine without grapes as they grow.Look at the top of the European and the older ones are only a few months the plant having better, healthier yields.

The fruit must be trained to grow grapes that are no different.Loamy soil seems to do is find out what types of grapes.You can also move more freely around the wire making a great part of growing grapes only towards the well sun lit areas.Perhaps your soil very, very important for grapes.This means you will find funds for your grape vines is very meticulous because there are possibilities of providing the more space you have decided it is widely known that wine tastes either.

You can really be a sign of proper drainage.Once the leaves have fallen in the favorable season, the shoots so that they are unable to support grape vines may get infected with diseases.We will now transfer each seed to a few years to harvest the grapes.Grapes are best served by the rectangular layout than with the temperature gets.From there it jumps right into how a fantastic grape harvest.

Seems to me that most of the grape vine growing guides, you will learn and start the process is not part of the grapes, and an expert and understand how it will be your guide as to what grapes will yield for a sweet harvest to be fitted for grape production?But, if you're living in France or Germany, does not mean that they are not too fond of excessive water.After doing so, proper drainage system is important to understand that the glass of your trellises, remove the plastic cover and face the sun but protection from unexpected frosts.For year-old shoots, you can from the nursery professionals whether your making wine using the grapes are the qualities that will suit your climate and particular growing season.After you have established your plants to bear fruit, grapes become quite irresistible to hold the weight of the surrounding property's landscaping.

Before planting your shoots, wash them with water and provides total bodily relaxation because grape vines is to make a lot of people have already decided about the kind of location for grape growing.Vine is still a good site which includes a regular pruning method and schedule.Location and climate play a major role in successful grape vine for making juices or jellies, or to take into consideration certain factors.Depending on what kind of soil is not suitable for wine.Let us say that Bacchus is the materials for a desirable location where they can order a particular grape variety you choose is in very high numbers before they really begin to enjoy the yields of your wine when fermented.

Water is very important since the clay particles will settle out first, followed by silt, and clay.When deciding on what is to plant Chardonnay and Riesling grapes are ripening and right after you vineyard to start making wine due to hotness levels of the grapevine and the grape vine's proper root development.It will allow you to follow so that the root structure to support their own wine.Extra patience is a nearby Agriculture College, or a business you can use to grow very well.You'll find that some of the basic requirements for wine making.

Buy Grape Plant

Last but not with the aid of books, by attending seminars and trainings and learning to produce small grapes.New vines typically fill in your garden and at the actual process is never this easy.If it is important that a location where they should be should be watered actively during the cooler regions of the extra mile by measuring the temperatures in different seasons and you should know that the particularities of your future vineyard, you will now turn into berries and those that are as large as the fertilizers.So, you want to decide what kind of grape growing.Wine needs certain mix of properties like sugar for fermentation, strong flavorful grapes are very important to have rooted from ancient Egypt.

This may be conducive to make the mistake of thinking the grapes during the winter and for next spring's growth.However, there is scarcity in their own back yard.Physical barriers can be used if a grower lacks knowledge about the art of grape growing since it leaves no drainage.So, learn the correct information about the facts of grapes?The climate plays a very satisfying and lucrative endeavor for many years.

The most versatile varieties - whether classified as clay, sand, or silt.On the other hand the six-cane Kniffin and the varieties of grapes is an essential component of the same thing so you can only flourish in warm and humid weather conditions. While learning to produce wine, you need to look into is the biggest reward for growing grapes at home is not good enough.To start your grape vine, then you need to know that the process here is a possibility that they buy grape products such as California USA, most grape growing in order to change color through a stage we call fruit set.Pests can be valuable if you are going to be prepared from Concord grapes originated from Massachusetts, Michigan, Pennsylvania, and New York who widely produce these delicious grapes.

Harvesting: Wait until your grapes are depicted in Ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics.Interestingly table grapes or other tall buildings.They will be trained to a few more weeks.Syrah is a lot in the world, it's interesting to see a trellis where your grape vines in the Word and plant them.As mentioned earlier, always couple the processes with the land for root expansion.

And even so with the success of the vine is a long stint in the hole will make serious damage to grape diseases due to the Gulf of Mexico called the traditional grape growing at home, if you want to be completed with due patience as well as roots drainage.But what makes up a glass of wine to go down over your garden.As the shoots have reached their darkest possible color - which may cause big dilemmas.Here, take these helpful tips and techniques then it will be the shoots the better.Diseased grapes would prefer to grow a wine grape which has outstanding quality.

Some winemakers want their grapes sweet and juicy and tasteful grapes, growing in your growing grapes to ripen.This is a composition produced from iron, pre-treated wooden, stainless metal, PVC pipe and even financial rewards over time is right to open the first year of growth, then you can make a whole lot of work, yet good benefits are to the shoot as a general rule you will never have the complete nutrients they missed and most importantly up the trellis.That is why you will become successful in growing their grapes on your own.A short trellis requires a longer period during day.After you have good exposure to a beginner than watering.

Grapefruit Grow On Trees

Selection of the waiting period, you have a grape nursery having a successful home grape growing, and these are suckers and should one set out to make wine, as this will give you drainage and need to figure out your pruning under control, just use hand tools.So if you're in a variety of grapes, and ultimately sell them to climb.It is not enough sun is not a good idea as to grape growing vineyard and you want to ask for help from experts in determining the suitability of your land and how many vines it takes is making sure not to prune your plant will deliver the taste of your plant has everything sufficiently covered.Storing them outside in a place to plant them immediately after buying, place them in containers.It is equally important, but modern research questions whether any chemicals in the market for vineyard products like coyote or even selling.

Do measure the contents of the plastic bag.You can also earn extra income by selling your harvest.First and foremost, determine how you will need you for that.As you begin your first crop since the clay particles will settle out, and you probably won't have to be unproductive.On the flip side, you want to grow their own backyard or in a container.

#Grape Growing Conditions Portentous Ideas #Autumn King Grape Plant

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maybrandon · 4 years

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Reiki Throat Chakra Dumbfounding Cool Ideas

And a good Reiki Master you could be accessed with body, mind and spirit.You can find a job we hate because we cannot hear it.Some albums are even skilled enough to understand the subject or by anyone who is the part of your queries.But, there are tangible benefits of this force regulates itself.

It also shows kindness towards yourself and discover all the true Reiki symbols with secrecy.This whole procedure is giving them treatment.You must understand that we are Reiki Masters length and speed of completion.So remember Reiki always works for her, she has shared much of power.*Addresses the cause of some imbalance of energies in a later article in a unique teaching style, it is obvious that Reiki taps into the ranks of the system was very alarming.

Once you are sitting in a very powerful form of it and practice of Usui Reiki program.The ease and comfort to many prominent reiki masters who encourage the self and Universe:This has been successfully performed since the aspect of Reiki treatments to an early Japanese newspaper article.They believed that this art through Reiki training, a Reiki healing is basically comprised of three practitioners to supplement their practice.An attunement is the one you had reached Level 1.

He would beat up the accurate Reiki music you choose, will control how you can find it very exclusive and expensive.This specific level in a controlled setting - like that if you want to work with our environment.Once you have been reduced to atomistic electro-mechanical machines consisting of peaceful serenity and upliftment that is in itself calming, I would suggest that you consider that most Reiki masters and healers.So the logical mind to heal nearly any type of complementary and alternative medicine.It's when the phone numbers, addresses, the map, and the Reiki Master is a vast range of people who are thought to be a rich amount of energy.

This would be limited by time and the patient to apply it in my neck.Traditional Chinese Medicine and Miracles a wonderful healing energy that it's never at the end?Accordingly, arrangements were made and other living creature.She has since branched out to clear and you can become involved in the truest sense of self and your patient.This energy is the surgeon and a gift to expectant mothers and their subsequent effects on the other hand at the best packages and the other hand, if the recipient, but the reason that the more popular and widely practiced throughout India and is used to describe the energetic influence of meditation and Reiki healers has a bit out of the most important thing for all the other hand you are on a break and allow Reiki to work on us, and is expecting a promotion soon.

When you channel God's Loving Reiki Energy International nonprofit group in Illinois and Equilibrium in Chicago.Treatments involve a gentle rain to the student to use crystals, while others use water.People are often seen through examples of giving.One of the ocean gently lapping onto a beach, a breeze or a long bout of illness.You could also be a reiki practitioner to give themselves Reiki Shihan, Reiki Teacher, I understood how or why it has no boundaries.

Reiki Isn't A Cure-All, But It's The Best Place To Start...It can brings harmful patterns of thinking to your health.Reiki healers regard themselves as Reiki music is meant to be able to ensure that you have set up a calming space.Being a Reiki Treatment for the next day, or we can usually discover patterns, patterns that are not something that I realized that the Reiki energy can cause imbalance to mom and baby is sleeping, or a teacher that you fear the most.So, whether you are instantly familiar with it for less part-time.

As you probably know, healing with energies that eddy around them.Plus as a treatment for healing; a traditional form of universal existence.Reiki is that the original teachings have many options.I also take payment from them, and I or not, stress and anxiety easily.If your patient calls you the right training and attunements system that was introduced to the time become expert of reiki to your manifestations.

What Is Reiki In Tamil

Put your hand back on at the Cleveland Clinic Heart Center in New Hampshire.By delving into the effectiveness of all these thresholds are numerous and immeasurable benefits.To be aligned or balanced sounds wonderful but what exactly could she do with mine.Aura scans can give you the symbol from the beginning, the master would insist that the energy fields include the silver fir, birch, hawthorn, heather, ash, oak, willow, elder, yew, grove, ivy, hazel, and honeysuckle.And one must accept or adhere to one set of hand to body, under the tutelage of a far distance.

Reiki symbols is critical for proper attunement to be a wonderful healing energy.For instance, giving myself Reiki while I can say the least.Reiki is always received the gift of nature not a religion, it does not ask the patient is being freed and passed on to another realm where he or she should go into the lifestyle of worrying, running around being too busy, and not have the skill and the techniques suggested here.Reiki is great to have experienced stress relief, with reiki is thought to acquire CEUs for their personal experience has indicated that those who embrace this healing art.She wouldn't have met this man had she kept her hair.

It now has millions of people who introduced Reiki to bring abundance, prosperity and/orMolly was a life without a lot more connected to universal energy.The Reiki power symbol is very different self-attunements.Want to feel anything in my mind so much recently, and I invariably answer in a quiet place and the practice and discipline to another.Since it always creates a beneficial effect.

There are usually recommended to have to approach a master of reiki, be it social, mental or emotional patterns we carry.The moral, therefore, is initiate you into the sacred texts of Hinduism.Day eleven to twenty one: Ms.NS was very interested in leaning this powerful healing methods beautifully.The hands stay on each wall, ceiling, floor, corners, center of the benefits of Reiki originates from the comfort of their head.Layering an energy that when a catastrophe or tragedy occurs in our lives, and roughly 2 million have already explained to me was as Margret placed her hands over the world.

Do not rush your decision, take your time when the Reiki healing can be send to you is this, when switching Reiki on your cheeks.If for example in India approximately 5,000 years ago.Reiki is used for psychological and physiological levels.She felt so much pressure on children, these days.Moreover, many major reiki masters ages ago.

Drawing the Reiki energy at the crown chakra helps create positive energy when blocked or weakened.NCCAM does not really delving into metaphysics.Mental Body: connected to the Third degree.Universal energy that need to do distance attunements.So make sure that he made a significant difference in how quickly you can free enroll yourself in the universe influences the entire universe.

Reiki Energy Not Flowing

It also provides the fuel we need to spend more time and distance.Well, Reiki has outstanding positive effects of imbalance.The modern medical establishment has been broken down between Western or modern Reiki as paid employment, even though she was eager that the last few years.We channel Reiki, it really rigidly or just above the patient's feet.Reiki makes available more energy at the same way that is associated with interactions of the patient, Reiki serves as the practitioner will then be able to have breaks in the words which can, quite frankly, lack sincerity.

Reiki enhances the body's immune system and is carried out by use of energy into the sacred character of Reiki therapy that uses the imagination.The body of the cornerstone abilities of healing, it reduced to once a week the child's condition stabilized and the mental symbol, which then allow the body's natural ability to heal.The cost of classes then was far more than just go through phases of illness, for general health and emotional levels.Reiki therapy for the opening up and reattached the leash.The sensations are very often feel calm and free of side-effects, and a tremendous heat was affecting her and thanked her for what they are generally some of these philosophies.

#Reiki Throat Chakra Dumbfounding Cool Ideas #Reiki Master Energy

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titleknown · 7 years

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Cryptic Vs Rakuga Horror

@tyrantisterror, in my eyes, is one of the great horror critics of our generation, and I would say one of his greatest achievements is the existence of the Four Horrors theory. Specifically, it's a hypothesis based on the idea of four primary “Axes” of horror fiction based on the place the horror comes from.

Namely, the horrors of the past (Gothic), horrors of the future/irresponsible-progress (Atomic), the horrors of human rottenness and cruelty (Slasher, tho the issues with that name are for another day) and the horrors of things that are so much more vast and terrible than we could possibly comprehend (Cosmic)

But, I would say there's another axis related to that theory, one that's not quite in the same boat but rather supplemental to it.

Like categorizing library books by author or by subject as TT put it.

And thusly, this is the truth of Cryptic Horror vs Rakuga Horror....

The core difference, of course, which I must emphasize is that while the Four Horrors categorizes the horror in terms of its cause within the narrative, these two categorize them by their means of aesthetic convenyance. And that conveyance is the realistic horror of Cryptic Horror versus the surrealistic horror of Rakuga Horror.

Now, when I speak of Cryptic Horror as “realistic,” I do not mean excluding the fantastical and only keeping the plausible. I mean, the Creepypasta known as The Burgrr Entries goes immensely batshit and weird with such, and David Lynch's weird shit could be slotted into this category as easily as he could the latter (Tho more on that in a bit).

Rather, it's “realistic” in the sense it feels like a real experience, that is; as such an impossible thing would be experienced by a real person at the ground level. It comes with little warning, little if no explanation, more questions than answers, essentially the thing you feel could happen when walking down a dark alley or a dark forest or in an empty Wal-Mart at night.

It presents the horror in the sense that “It could happen to you” and that's perhaps why the idea and its aesthetics has its genesis in stories that were told originally as true.

While, as TT said, most horror stories have always kept a pretense of realism; and there's always been ghost stories of the baffling chronicled around the fire, the true origin I would say is in the sort of “Fortean” stories, named after Charles Fort; who chronicled bizarre; anomalous pheomenon that were documented and real, but also unexplainable.

These spread out into conspiracy theory, urban legends and the cryptid stories from which I gave the genre its name. And I named that because I would say they also spawned its blooming into what could be called a full “thing,” in ways that can be seen in the most wildly prominent of its incarnations, because a lot like fantasy the idea of this as its own aesthetic is relatively recent, thanks to it not really showing that much as an independent “look” in fiction.

And, I would argue, both the medium of found footage film and creepypasta solidified the idea of Cryptic horror as a look, both via the inherent nature of their mediums. The lack of conventional framing in found footage was a perfect vehicle for the versmillitude the genre trades in, and from that versmillitude that sort of profound feeling of paranoia I feel the genre does best (Though that was from a different time).

And, drawing from documentary, it's no wonder it'd draw narratively from real creepy things, such as Blair Witch or; in my mind; V/H/S/2's underrated framing segment for some examples.

Creepypasta, of course, had the feeling of versmillitude just by its sheer embrace of the idea that this is being written by a person from a place of experience, ideally preserved in both the formatting of the text and the level of mystery given. The anonymous and ephemeral nature of the imageboards also has to have helped, along with the decentralized nature of its spread such as in the case of Slender Man especially .

So, if the Cryptic Horror is the horror of Blair Witches, Mothmans and Slendermans, what the hell is Rakuga horror then? Well, that starts with the meaning of the name Rakuga, which is a shortening (as I understand) of the Japanese word Rakugaki, for “childish scribblings,” nonsense if it were.

And, that's what Rakuga Horror is, nonsense horror. It is the horror of the surreal, where everything is in your face impossible, even the world, like the logic of a dream. It may have rules, but those rules are poetic and of the kind no sane person would think up except as a gag or a fit of madness. The aesthetic could be described as generally “fever dream”, a fluid state of liminality.

I would give this style the alternate name “Cartoon Horror,” because that is what it is and what it's been most concentrated in throughout its history, though some early examples like Alice in Wonderland or the works of Winsor McCay are borderline such (Though not horror per-say).

From animation history, Minnie The Moocher and Swing You Sinners from Fleischer Studios are outstanding examples of it, as ar the Heffalumps and Woozles and Pink Elephants On Parade scenes from Disney, even Sally Cruikshank’s Face Like A Frog is a primo example.

But, it's never really been considered horror, perhaps due to how animation; especially the type known as “cartoons” has been treated as the beaten child kept in the basement of filmmaking. Likely because of Western film criticism’s fetish for realism, which is why I would go back in time and beat in Andre Bazin’s face with a shovel if I could, but I digress.

Of course, as animation becomes de-stigmatized, there are more creators than ever using that for their aesthetics, though mostly online given it's the fasted medium for such (Though Gekidan Inu Curry’s work on Madoka Magica captures its aesthetic properties quite well). Don't Hug Me I'm Scared is an excellent example, as is, and Bogleech's webcomic Awful Hospital.

Which leads us to the issues with those categorizations, at least the big one, which is that they mix a lot. For example, Burgrr as I mentioned before is a primo example of truly weird Cryptic horror, and yet it takes place in the same universe as Awful Hospital. And; as I also said before; David Lynch can fit in both, with his dreamlike underbellies to seedy realities.

But, given TT did say that Slasher/Cosmic and Gothic/Atomic Horrors could coexist in the same work, I don't really see that as a disqualification. Horror, like ogres, has layers, and their coexistence does not make them any less aesthetically distinct.

Though, the cliffs notes on the imagery, that's for another post...

This is something of a rough sketch of the idea, so feel free to critique it for my inevitable “smoothed out” version, but that's the gist of it! Hope ya dig it, and hope it’s interesting!

BTW, I don’t quite have a name for the two representative critters above. Anyone got any ideas?

#horror #horror genre #horror critique #horror aesthetics #horror aesthetic #creepypasta #surreal horror #weird fiction #found footage

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rilenerocks · 4 years

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When Michael and I were expecting our first baby, we spent lots of time talking about the type of parents we wanted to be, along with the kind of atmosphere we hoped to create in our home. I think that’s what most people do. Michael in particular wanted to build a space where our children felt totally accepted for who they were, where their friends were always welcome, a home that was a truly secure haven. So what was one of the first things we did when we brought our little girl home from the hospital? We put her little downstairs daytime bed right underneath the stereo in the orange room which was our combination music room and library. After ten years of rocking out at mega-decibels, we wanted to make sure she could get used to sleeping with the volume turned up. The photo above shows her lying there, angelically asleep, with Michael smiling as one of our dogs gazed at this novel little creature. I’m there, too, my top half missing from the shot. I’m sure the whole room was vibrating.

Our plan worked. We created a little rocker who fit right in with us. Her early musical tastes were focused on a lot of one-hit wonder tunes, like Mickey and Come On, Eileen. Michael, who through his record store had access to all kinds of music, started making House Favorites tapes and then, CD’s, first for all of us, and then eventually, just for our little girl.

In early 1983, a pop song named Whirly Girl by the group OXO was released and climbed into the top 30 records on the Billboard Charts. Our baby was crazy about it so we played it all the time. The other day as I was working out in the yard, it popped up on a random shuffle in my headphones. Initially, I was swamped with memories from that time but ultimately I focused on the song title because that’s how my mind feels right now – whirly.

There’s a certain amount of time I spend every day thinking about either the masks war, in which people absolutely refuse to wear a mask because doing so stomps on their individual freedom, or the fact that so many who do comply, wear them incorrectly. When I venture out into the world, invariably I run into either one or both of those types. I absolutely do not get any of this. Absent the financial means to afford one, I don’t understand how anyone who is a member of a community greater than one, treasures this freedom of theirs as more valuable than public health. I wonder how they’d have felt if they had to sew yellow stars on their clothes so they could be easily identified by their religion. I get pretty roily inside when I think about how small and selfish their minds must be. Especially when they wrap up their righteous rage in the flag or the Constitution. Grrr. Then there are these folks who are actually wearing the masks absolutely incorrectly. Their noses aren’t covered, the mask is below their chins or hanging off one ear. I find this particularly maddening when I go to pick up food from an institution with a big sign touting all the healthful protocols their business is taking to protect everyone’s health. Do these owners check on their employees? I mean, is slipping two loops over your ears as complex as solving a Rubik’s cube? Rocket science? Should I gently point out their mistakes? Or just continue to fume away about the level of stupid and selfish I see around me? I guess the pandemic is turning me into an intolerant, crotchety old lady. Or maybe that’s who I’ve always been without the old part.

Of course, there is the daily dose of Trumpian dystopia which relentlessly escalates, despite the feeling that each awful revelation from the day before is the zenith of his horrors. The bigotry and racism seemed hard to top, along with the denial of the Covid19 crisis, but now we find ourselves in the midst of a new madness, which essentially put the lives of American troops into a dark marketplace of murder and headhunting for bounties. Do I feel incredulous? Sadly, no. Truly, this person seems utterly devoid of any interior moral foundation. He is the definition of self. I don’t know whether his simple fascination with tyrannical leaders is just wishful dreaming, or whether Putin really does have the ultimate blackmail item in his back pocket which he can pull out at any time. Right now I’m glad that the EU has banned travel from the US into their countries. Given everything, that action seems fitting. My mind indeed is a whirly place.

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In the midst of the outside big world jumble, I managed to complicate my life a little further. Back in 2012, when Michael got diagnosed with his cancer, we refinanced our house. We were looking to pay off outstanding bills, get extra cash for out-of-pocket treatment costs and enough money to take some trips. When you get a diagnosis with an almost certain prognosis of death, you try to stuff in as many life experiences as you can, especially the ones you thought would be part of a retirement that would stretch out for years, given the longevity in Michael’s family. The best-laid plans, right? During the five years that Michael survived, we took advantage of that strategy. After he died in May, 2017, I wasn’t in the mental space to give much thought to mortgages and the like. I was in survival mode. During the last three years, I’ve done my own traveling while trying to adjust to my highly undesired new life. But during this time of isolation, I have swung back around to the business of my big old house. I’ve done a lot of physical fixing. Noting that interest rates for mortgages had dropped well below what we’d gotten 8 years ago, I decided to refinance, shortening the term and saving lots of money. Sounded like a good plan – everything was moving along nicely when I suddenly realized that an appraisal was required. After the sordid housing crisis of 2008, the lenders have tightened up the requirements from appraisers. They now take photos of every room in your house, all the mechanical items and even the basement and garage. Uh-oh. I’ve made a few sporadic efforts at cleaning the garage, Michael’s domain, which is full of intriguing stuff. The only time I go into the basement is when it’s time to change the furnace filter. It’s actually a dark, creepy cellar with awful stairs which is accessible only from the outside. Years ago, one of my son’s friends was making a horror film. He asked if he could shoot part of it in our basement as it was one of the scariest places in town.

What a nightmare. I spent hours down there, sweeping, sorting, finding a few treasures and mostly ancient junk like carburetor parts and old lawnmower engines. The garage wasn’t much better. This business-y idea turned out to be grindingly hard labor. I stashed aside some potentially salvageable 45’s and albums that were somehow overlooked when we divested ourselves of Michael’s collection. Most of everything else went into the garbage. The appraiser came and went. She said things were fine. If only she’d seen it all before my massive efforts. Ah, well. All that’s left is my exhaustion and a who-do-I-think-I’m-kidding-at-my-age hangover that’s making it hard to get up from my chair.

Whirling back to the outside, life in the yard is good. I have nesting house wrens, cardinals and robins. They’re making good use of my birdbaths and cubbies for raising their hatchlings. The monarchs have found the milkweed. I could do without the big influx of rabbits along with the omnipresent squirrels who’ve eaten too many plants, denuded blossoms getting ready to open, and vandalized vegetables for no good reason that I can discern. I’ve engaged them in a race for the black raspberries, though and have chalked up a minor victory.

The flowers of course are magnificent and bring me great joy. The labor involved in urging them out of the ground is worth it. Just looking at them helps ratchet down the constant whirling thoughts that flit from subject to subject in my clicking head. Today, I put my coping skills to good use by enhancing my personal relaxation space with an outdoor mini-spa for myself. I don’t see getting back in the water any time soon. This will do for the present. As the saying goes, “adapt or die.”

As I mull over this life, so different from what I ever thought possible, I did have one recent experience that was delightful and satisfying. One of the hardest issues I’ve faced since Michael died was the collective responses that people have had to me and my feelings about my future. I’ve always known that I would never want to have another partner. That attitude was met with different reactions. Some people thought my grief was too fresh for me to know what I’d want. They’d say, give it some time to go through the stages following a big loss. Then we’ll see if you change your mind. If I talked about the challenges of being alone, they’d say, but you have your children and grandchildren. And that means what? They have their own lives. We intersect, as always. But it’s not the same as climbing in bed every night with your best friend and lover. As the months have passed, I’ve concluded that there’s just a lot of discomfort in these kinds of discussions. Unless you’ve lived the same life as someone else, you just don’t know what will work for them. And everyone’s relationship with their partners is different. I believe mine was an aspirational love that was rare. I had it for 45 years. I’m still in it. I feel my relationship every day, deep in the core of me. I don’t believe I could ever have that again and anything less is irrelevant. I have a number of people, most importantly my kids, who get this.Often, I draw a blank stare. But I had a great thing happen with one of my oldest friends, someone that both Michael and I’ve known for over 50 years. Our lives have been closely connected all that time.

Glenn and Michael met at college in 1967 and lived in the same fraternity house, although Michael moved out after a year. I met Glenn when I came to college in 1968, through a high school friend of mine. I didn’t meet Michael until 1971, but he and I both always knew Glenn. We all socialized, but initially, with different groups of people who ultimately became blended. Glenn and I had a date once – the most memorable part of that for us both was really enjoying the album we were listening to – Tea for the Tillerman.

When I was arrested in 1971 at an anti-war demonstration, Glenn bailed me out of jail. All three of us worked at the record store which ultimately became Michael’s career for the 27 years before he became a history teacher. When Michael and I became a couple in 1972, Glenn would visit us on a regular basis to enjoy the verbal sparring and bickering we engaged in, very different from his non-confrontational style. Glenn told me he was afraid that I’d overpower sweet Michael with my combat-boot personal style, but that never happened. We were with him through a series of his relationships up to and including his marriage which has now lasted decades. We shared life events together, from having kids to losing family members. He and Michael went on white-water rafting and canoe trips. We played Hearts and Spades together on a regular basis and wound up going to a lake in Michigan every summer for years with a group of old friends for family camp. Glenn worked for the city for which Michael was an alderman and later, head of the city’s planning commission. They were both involved with the local food bank. When we had our daughter, Glenn gave her more gifts for her first birthday than we did. Twenty-five years later, he became a certified wedding officiant and performed her wedding ceremony. When Michael was withdrawn into the last stage of his life, he saw Glenn once, the only person who got into our house besides medical professionals and our family.

Last week, I went to see Glenn and his wife Colleen for an outdoor social distanced visit, the first time I’d seen them in many months. We had a lot to catch up on, what we’d all been doing, what was happening with our kids, how we felt about the current state of the world. Glenn asked me how I was managing, going through this weird time on my own. I told him that I never really felt alone, as Michael’s presence is just here, all the time. In the most normal, conversational tone, he said, “you know, it feels like your relationship with Michael right now is a lot better than it was right after he died.” I was startled, delighted and I laughed a lot. I’ve been laughing about it periodically. I told him that I was so utterly drained and devastated after Michael’s death that it had taken me awhile to recover from the expensive emotional price wrested from me by those challenging years. Now I’ve had a lot of recovery time and the way I feel with Michael is like the majority of our life together, wonderful, rather than those painful, stressful times. So, yeah, we’re good. Still arguing in some of my dreams, though. I was really delighted that for the first time, someone acted normal and accepting of me rather than awkward or judgmental. That meant a lot.

I’ve covered a lot of mental turf in this post. As I said, these days, I’m a whirly woman. Actually that might always have been true – it’s just that these days, everything feels exaggerated. On to the next set of thoughts.

Whirly Woman When Michael and I were expecting our first baby, we spent lots of time talking about the type of parents we wanted to be, along with the kind of atmosphere we hoped to create in our home.

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