#over 1000 words

[ditzyredrobin]

Tim Drake (The Spleen-Less Wonder)

My second Bad Things Happen square in as many days because I can’t control myself. 😅

Prompt: Bundled Up in Blankets

-

“Jason, put me down, now!” Tim snaps, trying to wrestle his way out of the blanket burrito he is currently rolled into. He’s currently slung over his shoulders in a fireman’s carry and pissed.

Well, beyond pissed.

Pissed doesn’t even begin to encapsulate the raging fury he’s currently feeling, being carried around like an oversized toddler. He kicks hard at Jason’s chest with his slippered feet, trying to gain some leverage to escape.

Jason isn’t even phased at his wriggling and kicking, he just keeps walking up the driveway. “What did I tell you, kid? Fuck around and find out.”

“It’s not that big a deal, seriously. It’s just a cold.”

It was. He hadn’t even broken 101 degrees yet which was barely even a fever and a total win in his book. If he was careful and took his antibiotics (which he had been, there was a timer set in his phone and everything) it would go away in no time.

“Like I said, you fucked around and now you’re going to find out. You could have stayed home but nooo. Tim Drake, the spleen-less fucking wonder, decided tonight was as good a night as any to hit the streets, never mind the sleet and windchill.” Jason mocks deadpan, renewing his grip. “Suck it up, buttercup. You did this to yourself. Deal with it.”

Tim rolls his eyes, “It’s Wayne.”

Jason pushes right through the front door to the manor without knocking. “What is?”

“My name. It’s not Drake, it’s Wayne.”

When he had been adopted, he’d officially become a Wayne. When he had taken over as CEO of Wayne enterprises after Batman had been lost in time, it only renewed that belief. He was a Wayne through and through and if the tabloids caught wind of his being carted around by strange men, he was going to have to send his publicist an apology bouquet again. And maybe a bottle of wine.

As much as Damian may have been opposed to it, he was a Wayne.

“Always a dramatic little shit,” Jason muttered under his breath. “Look, I don’t give a fuck if you’re a Drake or a Wayne or something else entirely. What I do give a fuck about is someone ruining the lead I’ve been working for over a month because he decided not to stay in bed like he was supposed to.”

“And I’m the one being dramatic?”

“Yeah, you are. You know, I’m really glad you’re finally taking the time to self reflect. You should try journaling or some shit when you’re feeling big feelings instead of passing out and nearly braining yourself.”

Really, it hadn’t been that bad. He just needed a minute to sit and then he would have been fine. If Jason hadn’t overreacted, he would not have almost lost his lead.

“I did not. I’m fine. Now can you put me down?”

“You passed right the fuck out, Replacement. That sounds pretty bad to me.” Jason says but doesn’t budge.

“Did not.”

“Did to.”

Tim groans, giving one last weak kick. This was getting him nowhere fast other than wanting his bed. The DayQuil and Red Bull were starting to wear off and the drowsiness was setting in again to bone deep exhaustion. The kind that makes him want to curl up for the next 24 hours and just sleep.

Not an option, unfortunately. He had a board meeting in just over six hours. If he manages to go to bed right now, he should still have time to get in a couple of hours of sleep before he needs to get ready.

“Bruce! Get out here and take care of your belongings.” Jason calls into the otherwise silent manor. It was just after six am meaning Bruce wouldn’t have been in bed for very long.

Tim grimaced at the way Jason’s voice echoed through the halls. If Jason’s complete disregard for the alarm didn’t wake him up, his shouting definitely did. “You really don’t have to do this.” He beds quietly, like that would help matters at all.

One could hope.

“Like hell I don’t.” Jason’s snaps back and opens his mouth like he’s going to yell again when Bruce comes running around the corner.

His eyes are panicked and he’s dressed in a robe, the tie is caddywhampus, and honest to god fuzzy bunny slippers. “Jay, what's wrong?” It takes him a long moment to process what he’s holding. “Is that-?”

“Yours.” Jason finishes, meeting Bruce half way. Without warning, he dumps Tim unceremoniously off his shoulders, earning him an indignant squawk.

If it had been anyone other than Bruce, Tim would have worried, bundled up so tight, he couldn’t stop himself before he hit the ground. But this was Bruce after all.

He caught Tim swiftly before he hit the ground, cradling to his chest. “Tim? What’s going on?”

Jason rolls his eyes, crossing his arms. “Next time, take care of your little birds, or I’m not giving them back. We don’t have any more mishaps do we?”

Bruce grimaces, tightening his grip on Tim, pulling him in just a little closer. “What happened? I thought he was supposed to be in bed last night.”

“He’s here too, you know.” Tim uttered but neither Bruce or Jason didn’t acknowledge him.

“Apparently someone failed to tell him that because one minute he was being an annoying little shit and the next he tried to pass the fuck out in the middle of an op. One I’ve been working for months, mind you.” Jason says. “All I know is if he fucks up like that again, it’ll be on your head. Capeesh?”

Bruce nods solemnly, looking pained. “Thank you for bringing him home.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, don’t mention it.” Jason says, trying to sound annoyed but there was a fondness in his voice. “Seriously, don’t mention it. Just do better. The kid is an idiot with the self preservation skills of a wet paper bag.”

Bruce sighs, “I’ll make sure he’s taken care of.” And in a small voice adds, “You know you can stay too. You’re welcome home anytime, Jaylad. Alfred misses you, I miss you.”

“You know this isn’t my home, Bruce. I only came back for the kid.” Jason turns back to the door.

“Maybe so but Alfred is making pot roast on Sunday.”

Jason freezes for a moment. “I’ll…think about it.”

Bruce smiles softly, “I look forward to it. Goodnight, son.”

Jason waves him off and leaves, closing the front door behind him, muttering under his breath. Something about Tim and Bruce not being his dad and roast beef sandwiches.

With Jason gone, the entirety of Bruce’s attention is turned to Tim, examining him with big, blue eyes and a kicked-puppy look. “Did you really almost faint? Be honest with me.”

Tim looks away, feeling his cheeks flush. “Maybe? It really wasn’t that bad. I’m just tired.”

Bruce sighs again (because his sons will be the death of him) and starts towards the cave. “You could have gotten seriously injured if Jason wasn’t there.”

“I know.”

He did. There was just so much to do, he didn’t have time to sit down and rest like a civilian. Crime was an ever present entity—if he didn’t help, people were injured and bodies of the innocent filled the morgues. The bodies of good people with lives and hopes and families and dreams.

What use was he if he couldn’t help?

“Do you, Tim? What would’ve happened if you were by yourself? What if your cold gets worse or turns into pneumonia again?”

“I know,” he says again in a small voice.

He really, truly did, but crime stopped for no one.

Bruce’s sighs exasperated, “You’re benched and staying here until you’re better where Alfred and I can monitor you.”

No, no, no, no, no! He can’t—he won’t.

“You can’t, please, I can’t.” Tim begs.

“You can and you will. I will also be handling the board meeting that mysteriously disappeared from my calendar.” Bruce says, giving him a knowing look.

Tim grimaces, “You noticed?”

“I noticed.” Bruce confirms.

He’s Batman. Of course he noticed.

“And there’s no way I can convince you to change your mind?”

Bruce shakes his head, carrying him not back up the stairs to his room, but the clock and the cave. “Not a chance, bud.”

There was no escaping now, not when Bruce’s mind was made up. If they were heading to the cave, where Alfred must have already been waiting, no doubt with an endless supply of warm blankets and IV fluids. He was sure there would be chicken soup later when it was closer to any normal person's time of day.

Tim leans his head back against Bruce—his father’s—shoulder, letting his eyes shut. “I’m sorry.” It’s a small thing but Bruce hears him and hugs him a little closer.

“I know you are. Let’s get you to bed and later we’ll have a long conversation about self care and boundaries, okay?”

“Okay,” he agrees, already half asleep. He didn’t want to but it was unavoidable. Now he would focus on the gentle sway as he walked, the thrum of his heart in his chest. “Hey dad?”

“Hm? What's up, champ?”

“I love you.”

Bruce chuckles and presses a kiss to the top of his hair. “I love you, too.”

[bending-sickle]

so my bro is visiting tomorrow for two weeks so uh

imma need y'all to hold me maybe

[idleyuri]

when youre in a short story competition but your opponents are all gidle fic writers

[butchboarwrites]

31.1.24 prompt response

says it all on the tin! sci-fi | 1333 words | tw: swearing, casual discussion of mental illnesses.

“This is, uh, Mission Control to ByoRax Carrier 405LR. Please confirm you are receiving us.”

Even though she was hearing it through the grainy crackle of space radio-comms, the sound of another human’s voice made Halide close her eyes in contentment. She savoured the way it rose and fell, the deep tenor of the man’s voice, the hesitant, almost fearful emotion –

Her eyes opened again. 

“This is ByoRax Carrier 405LR, receiving you loud and clear. Confirming the craft is ready for reentry, permission granted?”

Fuzz greeted her through the speakers. Halide let one moment go by, then another, before –

“Permission denied.”

Halide froze, hand hovering over the space-comm button. Denied? Denied? Was this some sort of…twisted joke? Lone astronaut comes back from 32-month long mission, see how long it takes for her to break down crying, begging for reentry to Earth?

“Is…is there a reason why?” No answer. Hesitantly, she added, “sir?”

Before her, the beautiful, blue horizon of Earth spanned the length of the reinforced glass window. The nose of the carrier pointed gently downwards, ready to begin its molton-fast descent towards home, towards humans and trees and cats that weren’t just mechanical replacements meant to appease her strained mind. Before the mission, Halide had been scanned extensively, put through years of rigorous testing to ensure she wasn’t susceptible to harmful mental illness, or muscle decay; prepping her with binders and binders of therapists wet-dreams - meditation regimes, yoga classes, journaling strategies. She had been prepared for the months of loneliness. More than prepared, really - if anything, she was overqualified to be lonely. But there was a difference between being lonely, and being alone. Once can be lonely on Earth. 

In space however, it was  literally just - her . It’s not just feeling empty, or like it’s only her fending for herself - it’s that physically, for incomprehensible miles, it’s simply…Halide, breathing recycled air. Looking out at the blackness of space, and the occasional asteroid or exo-planet, or star. 

Halide, her mechanical cat, and her imaginary friend.

“Can we confirm this is Commander Astronaut Halide Christopherson speaking?”

Halide licked her lips, and pressed the button. A slick, shimmery shadow glided across the interior reflection on the window ahead. 

“Yes, this is Commander Halide speaking. There is only Commander Halide, or have you forgotten this was a solo mission, Control?” Although she tried to inject lightness in her voice, it fell flat, vowels and consonants cracking on her tongue. She’d never forgotten how to speak - too afraid to lose the musical lilt of her accent, she had spoken every day into the recorder provided to her. But faced with a real human being, someone who was speaking back - she fell on the back foot.

“Commander, we’re detecting another life form onboard Carrier 405LR; repeat, we are detecting another life form onboard Carrier 405LR. This is a CODE UMBER. Initiating protocol –”

White fuzz crowded out the frantic voice of the man in Mission Control. It felt like liquid ice was creeping through her veins. Another lifeform. Another lifeform. Another life form, another lifeform, anotherlifeform– 

Halide turned around. Jami stood in the open hatchway to controls, filling up the space like it always did - hazily, almost flickering around the edges. Blues and purples spread around its skin, dizzying her. She’d been delusional. That was all it was meant to be. An imaginary friend come to life, driven by psychosis and the pressing cold indifference of space pouring in through every window and crack of the carrier. Jami’s appearance had frightened her, and it had almost seemed frightened by her, too. But the more Halide talked to it, pouring out her fears and feelings, all the data she’d retrieved that day and the intangible things she missed about a living home, the more it had gotten…clearer. Eventually, it had come to curl around her, like a weird pet. All soft, plasma-like skin, and fluctuating colours. She had started to sing it songs, for fucks sake, and taken comfort in the fact that at least when she got home there would be drugs that could help her - even if it meant no more space missions. She’d grown to almost hate the sucking darkness of space, anyway. 32 months was enough.

It was all enough. 

Another life form.

“No,” she said. The cold metal of the control desk pressed harder into Halide’s legs. “No, I – you aren’t meant to exist. They said the planet was dead, I never – I never saw fucking nothing, all those months I tracked that planet.” 

Jami stepped towards her, its head cocking to the side in confusion. The hard radio-comms button gave way under Halide’s finger.

“Jesus, stop. Don’t - you aren’t meant to be real.” Desperation tasted like metal on Halide’s tongue, and still Jami stepped closer. Like it had learned to do, like Halide had taught it, it bowed down, shrinking, until it fit under her chin. The cool flesh gave way slightly, like rotten fruit. Halide had always wondered just how bad she had gotten that she was imagining the feel of flesh against her. She was fucking deluded, to have so easily accepted its companionship. So wretchedly desolate. A mechanical cat can only do so much. 

“Mission Control, please, please. It’s just…it’s just my imaginary friend. Please. I didn’t know, how could I know?”

The silence on the other end made Halide frantic, but she couldn’t move. The heavier she breathed the more the alien pressed against her, contented, like it had been for so many months. Her heartbeat thrummed in the hollow of her throat, clawing its way up to her mouth like a hard brick. Eventually, she let go of the space-comms button. Whatever CODE UMBER was, it was non-communicative. The slide down to the ground was slow, tortuous. Every inch of the way, the alien - her friend, her pet - followed her, pushing and pulling its mass like the play dough she had as a child. 32 months ago, she would have found this fascinating. An alien - proof, at last, that the human race are not alone. But as it was, it just felt like she was dreaming. As if she was living in unreality; her world - this little carrier, her cat and her friend - crashing around Halide. 

The distant alarm of the airlock unlatching was dim in her ears. Against her, the alien suddenly went rigid, in a way Halide had never witnessed. No longer rotten fruit, its skin was hard - like treated wood. The pounding thump of military boots didn’t reassure her either - Halide felt removed from the world, like everything was witnessed through a dreamy film. This wasn’t how this was meant to go, none of it fucking was. She was meant to be welcomed home, lauded for her efforts, handed platters of fresh fruit and given seeds to sow –

Dark navy forms crowded in the hatch to controls. Halide closed her eyes. 

* VOICE LOG #419.

Commander Halide Christopherson, ByoRax Carrier 405LR. 

I think I’ve gone insane. All that training, for nothing Jami. I mean, I knew things were going a little rough when I made you up but – I never thought I’d go so far as to see you. You look weird too. I thought you’d be human not…a weird alien, I guess? Looking at you makes my eyes hurt, and you’re so…skittish. I can’t believe my mind can’t even give me a delusion who wants to see me. I didn;t even collect any data on that fucking planet, I’m too focused on trying to catch a glimpse of you for more than 3 seconds. Like, if my mind is going off the rails I’d rather get to actually witness you Jami, instead of just go fucking ghost-chasing. That’s what it feels like anyway. God, I’m never seeing the inside of a spaceship again after this, am I? The higher ups' worst nightmare. Gonna have to pay for my medication for years when I get back. Better enjoy my uniform while – hey! Get back here! Jesus - – 

[ottersandfandoms]

Full Analysis/breakdown of the asmodous crystal exchange because the episode broke me and this is how I cope. Warning: long

So the first shot we have is Stolas sitting on his bed in apprehension, then Blitz jumps up on the balcony. Blitz starts the night off like any other, bringing out his bag of sex toys and just speaking in an unworried manner. Yet we have the sad music playing in the background that lets us know this is temporary. It’s NOT a normal night. Stolas knows this too and he’s just quietly watching.

Stolas finally speaks and he stutters at the beginning. This is really happening. He disregards all the other things Blitz brought and instead just asks for the book.

This is when Blitz first starts noticing something is up. We see a quick shot of his smile dropping. He was all worried about Stolas getting bored of him earlier and wanting the book back and now he began to actually think those fears are being proven true. Even if he doesn’t admit it, Blitz has a big fear of not being wanted and just pushed aside, like he has been for most of his life. 

So when Stolas admits he needs the book back Blitz panics. His fears are true. He begins to hurriedly speak and makes excuses. This book is his livelihood and the reason for his jobs so it makes sense why he is scared of losing it. He leans in and tries to initiate sex. It works every time with Stolas so why wouldn’t it work now? Stolas begins to grow sad. He does want to have sex with Blitz. But he knows that would be unfair so he gets up.

Blitz is terrified. He desperately begs Stolas for the book. Blitz is being put in a vulnerable situation and he doesn’t like it. His whole life could be destroyed if he can’t keep his business afloat. He wouldn’t be able to support himself and couldn’t support Loona. He would “do anything” to keep it.

But then Stolas shows him the crystal. Stolas presents it to him in a happy tone. He tries to be happy and hopeful even though he is clearly still very worried. Maybe everything will be ok. Maybe Blitz will reciprocate Stolas’s feelings and everything will be great.

Blitz thinks Stolas is joking. He doesn’t understand why Stolas would do this. Now his job is safe but his relationship with Stolas is not. His deepest fears are being proven once more. 

He’s not good enough.

He goes into this state of wanting to please.

When Blitz was a child, his dad clearly saw Blitz as the weakling compared with Fizz. And no matter how much Blitz tried to prove himself, it was never enough. “I can do better” is almost juvenile in its phrasing. A desperate plea and promise that might diffuse the situation. Blitz reverts back to his childlike self where he was always last choice and flung aside like he didn’t matter. Imagine how many times he said that exact sentence to his father.

Stolas explains. Stolas actually does a good job of saying what he wants. He is clear and to the point, emphasizing asking what Blitz wants. During Stolas’s speech, Blitz glances back and forth at the crystal, trying to make sense of what’s happening  and then at Stolas. Because he does want to stay. He likes Stolas. If he didn’t care, he would've taken the crystal and left, but he didn’t and chose to stay. Stolas finally just finishes his speech by confessing his feelings. He says them in a frantic way; he is putting himself out there but there is hope there too. 

Blitz thinks he’s joking. Of course he would be. Why could Stolas actually seriously care for him? How could Stolas care for him? The only possible explanation has to be that Stolas is joking. So he puts on a roleplay because he thinks it’s what Stolas wants. He refuses to accept there may be something more.

Stolas takes this as a mocking rejection. His hope has been squashed. Stolas is so used to being mocked that he immediately takes Blitz’s ‘roleplay’ as Blitz making fun of him. Stolas has been mocked by the people, the other Goatia, Stella. Blitz is just another one to add to the list.

He accepts the supposed rejection and walks away. Blitz now realizes he wasn’t joking. He is legitimately surprised that Stolas would want anything true with him. Blitz has this worldview of nobody truly wanting him; finding him useful, sure, but actually wanting him…that would be impossible. Stolas’s confession is a stark blow to that worldview and it makes sense why Blitz needs time to accept this.

This is where Stolas makes his mistake, he doesn’t give Blitz time to think through this. He takes Blitz’s confusion as rejection, not stopping to consider that Blitz is just as scared as he is. His hope is now totally gone. Both Stolas and Blitz are eerily similar in their fears. They both just want to be wanted but where Stolas shrinks away in sadness, Blitz lashes out.

And that's exactly what Blitz does now. And he doesn’t stop.

He doesn’t want to deal with his own hurt feelings so he instead blames it all on Stolas, to hide the fact that he may be blaming it on himself. The thing is, most of what Blitz says is true. Stolas repetitively called him a plaything and ‘little imp’ so it makes sense why Blitz doesn’t fully believe him. Blitz has always been the inferior one in his relationships. With Fizz, With Verosika, with Stolas, with countless demons. This has caused him this inferiority complex that he can’t escape. 

Blitz has tears in his eyes and he is truly breaking down. He has spent so long trying to convince himself that Stolas doesn’t care and now suddenly he does? He still hasn’t actually accepted that Stolas cares for him. He can’t accept that and that makes it all more painful. It has to be some lie or game and he is begging Stolas to stop playing. To stop complicating things because that will force Blitz to think about how he feels.

"Let's go!"

Blitz fully expects Stolas to yell back. he is so used to being in arguments where the other person will lash back as well. And Blitz almost wants this. He believes he deserves it.

But Stolas doesn't...

Instead he takes Blitz sceaming the wrong way. You see this heartbreaking scene of Stolas starting to cry. Stolas has spent his whole life being told to be quieter, be more controlled, less emotional. Him crying in front of someone, rather than alone really emphasizes the hurt he is feeling. And then there is of course the most heartbreaking line: “I didn’t realize you think so low of me”.

Everyone thinks low of Stolas. He is the “pathetic” Goatia prince who is constantly scoffed at and bullied. Blitz was his escape from all of that, but now he believes Blitz thinks the same as everyone else.

But Blitz DOESN’T think low of Stolas. He thinks low of himself. 

Blitz realizes he fucked up. He went too far and hurt Stolas.

He realizes that Stolas misinterpreted what he said because Blitz was never really talking about Stolas, he was talking about his own feelings. We can see Blitz actually try to reach out to Stolas. He needs to let Stolas know that he doesn’t think that. You can hear him start to say “I’m sorry-” but as he’s saying that Stolas portals him away. 

Blitz “What the fuck” perfectly encapsulates his feelings. He doesn’t understand what happened but he knows that he messed up. Blitz needs to let Stolas know that he actually cares about him and apologize for what he said and Stolas needs to understand that Blitz needs some time.

Blitz never once said that he doesn’t care, only that he doesn’t believe Stolas can.  

[astrangerlately]

[neoyi]

Okay, cool. I can finally talk about the absolute catharsis I felt after fifteen years hoping - dreaming - of this moment because holy SHIT, they did it. They goddamn DID IT.

VLAD GOT HIS REDEMPTION ARC.

Let's talk about it...

By the end of the third season, Vlad Masters had ostracized the entire planet by exposing his true self (why), demanding money and total command of Earth, and completely wailing on Jack Fenton, driving away the only member of that family who unequivocally adored the man where every other Fenton knew him for who he truly was: utterly despicable and incapable of seeing the bigger picture.

Because, after all, he is a villain and that's just what villains do. Villains want power. Villains want to rule the world. There need not be more than that, and in another show, there wouldn't have to be. As far as Hartman was concerned, there is only a binary Good vs. Evil.

You would be hard-pressed to view the Vlad in "Phantom Planet" as the same man who anguished in desperate madness when his perfect clone son died in his arms. That was a Vlad who, by that point, had taken his biggest gamble and lost. I guess one could see his reasoning in season three as a "fuck it all, what even is the point" mode. But while "Eye For an Eye" (tellingly, the last major script helm by former main story writer Steve Marmel... just saying) promised a personal conflict, by the end of the show, he's made it much more external, far greater than what he and Danny's interwoven plot originally started off as.

Vlad is pathetic. Vlad is narcissistic. He is egotistical, entitled; a bitter, arrogant man who lives in his dream castle with all the money and privilege in the world that would leave him content a hundred times over, and it's still not enough.

Money is not Maddie Fenton, the woman he loves. Money is not Jazz, a child that should have been his. Money is not Jack's friendship whom he denies severely, the only part of his life who willingly embraces him. And money is not Danny, who is a half-ghost like him, and by all rights, should have been his son.

No one else could ever understand to the fullest extent of their uniqueness than Vlad and Danny would to each other, and the latter, for the longest time, hated that. Hated the way Vlad talked down to him and manipulated him, hated the whispers into his ears with promises of grand power if he just joined the billionaire's side and become his ward, hated when he caved in just once in front of Vlad's eyes who responded with a smug "See, I know you" reaction. Danny was fortunate to have good moral compasses from his family and friends, but the thing is, though, it's not about the healthy support structure he had, because Vlad had the chance to get some, too. Jack and Maddie loved Danny no matter what he was, and dollars to donuts, they would have for Vlad if the latter had approached them with his problems.

But he chose instead to be bitter and miserable, taking it out on everyone and expecting them to fall into his train of thought. The show knew what he did was wrong, but until season three, never stopped repeating his truest desire: to find love and squash his crushing loneliness.

Hartman couldn't provide a damn on what exactly was Vlad's "destiny" in "Infinite Realm"; it was vague gesturing to excuse his villainy. He was more than happy to abandon the life he's made for himself and the woman he loved in spite of two decades of planning, all on a whim for whatever time period the Infi-map was willing to take him, hoping maybe this one will give him the unconditional worship that he thinks he's deserved (by force, of course.)

Because he's the villain.

And for the longest time, the show ended with the idea that Vlad deserved to be stranded, away from people, because he simply could not help himself. To be fair, there is a lesson in that - some people genuinely DO go so far that there really is nothing more we can do other than stop the problem before they cause any further harm. I'm not denouncing that.

What I AM denouncing is the the narrative plant that's dug its way into the greater plot where an older Vlad in "The Ultimate Enemy", realized what a fool he had been. What he wouldn't give to start all over and be a better person. You don't just give someone a sympathetic goal like "looking for love", constantly provide the necessary stepping stones, and not have it set up for something far more substantial than what we got.

And even then, even if it still ended with Vlad being too far gone, I wonder, should the supposedly original plot arc for season three had been made, would Vlad's fate there been far more appropriate than whatever cartoonish supervillainy he ended up as by the time "Phantom Planet" ended?

I cannot speak for Gabriela Epstein. I cannot say how much Nickelodeon allowed her to tinker with the DP world. All of this is presumptuous speculation on my part, but this entire comic feels like they looked at season three, particularly "Phantom Planet", realized what a travesty that was, had their work cut out for it, and went about to make a post-series finale story that still paid tribute to its ending while wiping it off the map.

Vlad's redemption is the crux.

Within just a few panels, Gabriela Epstein provided an explanation on the why of Vlad's actions circa-season three. The Infi-Map was aimless because Vlad's purpose was aimless. And Vlad's purpose was aimless because his need to be in control was a manifestation of his greatest fear: being alone.

"A Glitch in Time" recontexualizes why Vlad traveled across time in "Infinite Realm." It wasn't a generic bad-guy-wants-to-rule-the-world-through-latest-plot-claptrap, but an act of utter desperation from a man who had since lost the biggest connection to his very being: Danny.

It started with Maddie (someone whom Vlad only interacts once in the comic, but is an acknowledgement of his villainous origin, nonetheless), and it may still end with Danny.

Never, in a million, billion years, have I even thought about another redemption arc... for Dark Danny.

And I am kicking myself for not even considering such an option. I had pegged him so far gone, so far past the breaking point to think otherwise. Dark Danny was suppose to be the outcome of a Danny at his literal worst: a too-late, too-little scenario. Back then, it was a symbol of Danny's rejection of what Vlad expected and desired of him.

But the comic made me sit down and think about the implication of Dark Danny's very existence, that of a man who lost his family and friends ten years ago as a child. Like Vlad, he, too was alone, and had carried a tremendous amount of pain and anguish that his human half just could not bear.

Yeah, they died because of a time loop HE created, but that doesn't erase that he was born from a horrible trauma that he could not properly cope with. And Vlad, try as he might, did not fix it. All he ended up doing was separate a ghost - infamous for their obsessions, and now, as the comic established, a carrier of human emotions - to exist. And Dark Danny carried so much raw emotion that he retaliated very, very violently.

Everyone's respond at that time was to fight him and stuff him in a Fenton Thermos for eternity. I am not saying Danny wasn't justified in fighting his darker self because the dude legitimately caused massive damage and likely murdered a hell of a lot of people, I am just saying Dark Danny is the byproduct of a scared, lonely, traumatized child.

And what does he do? He tries to take what he thinks is his by any means necessary. Vlad got his wish, he got the son he wanted.

And he's facing him now.

And he gets it.

He finally fucking GETS IT.

Which shouldn't have been a surprise because his "The Ultimate Enemy" counterpart got it. He looked at the devil that he created and lingered as a hermit in regret. And now Vlad - Vlad Prime - reacted the same.

Only this time, he can fix it.

I did not anticipate that Vlad's redemption would happen at the same time as Dark Danny's. I didn't expect the two of them to link other than the latter being another number in Vlad's bullshit entitlement count.

I love that it isn't Danny who heals him, but Vlad. It had to be Vlad. In order to own up to his actions, Vlad had to look at the eyes of the boy he was entrusted and corrupted beforehand and apologize for what he put him through. And I don't mean just "The Ultimate Enemy", Vlad is apologizing for everything he's done up to this point.

He (temporarily) sacrifices his body to stabilize Dark Danny who has fucked up the time stream so much that he wouldn't be able to exist otherwise. And only then do the two of them get what they've longed for.

Vlad gets a son.

Dark Danny gets a family.

Holy forking shirt balls.

I have a lot of problems with alternate counterparts sticking around longer than they should in the "main" setting of a show. Usually I'm fine when it's an alternate counterpart demonstrated as someone the hero is trying so hard not to be, because it's compelling to see what could have been under different circumstances. It's another thing when you have another version of the main character running around doing their own thing. Multiverse characters are inherently messy just by existing, but it gets worse when they take away from the uniqueness of the central protagonist.

There's something awkward about two Danny Phantoms living in the same world, and in any other scenario, I would have hated it. But Dark Danny is of a vastly different background brought forth from a long, nuanced, engaging history between him and Vlad.

Danny's central journey - the cusp of the show - has always been the Spider-Man mantra, "great powers = great responsibilities." You are in charge of how you carry the burden of your powers. Vlad has been the one constant always challenging and belittling his selflessness. "A Glitch in Time" had Danny asking himself, what is his purpose? Who is he now that everything has been neatly wrapped up?

Writing anything about who Danny is means Vlad is presented in some way, shape, or form. They are so thoroughly linked to each other, and it's that link that simultaneously serve to push their own individual character arc, and their relationship with each other.

So, Vlad gets a son. Dark Danny gets a family. They get a second chance, and it is up to them to work it out. I have no idea if Vlad got his wealth back. Everything is restored as is, except Danny's secret identity is secured again (which I am 100% fine with except for one notable exception, but that's another topic for another day) and implication that Vlad was just a crummy mayor with no indication the greater public is also aware of his Plasimus mode (which I am also fine with.)

There's a part of me who thinks he should have lost the money and power he's accumulated because he gained them through his vice, but if he's back in his Wisconsin cheese castle, then he can damn well use the money he has to not only benefit the world (charities, improving human lives, funding Fenton Works ;D...), but to raise his son.

Dark Danny is going to have to adjust to the idea that his father is Vlad, something he was already expected to do so when he orphaned himself and moved in with him. But it's Vlad who has to work the most out of the two: as a parental figure - as an adult - he's always had a power over Danny regardless of what timeline they're in. Most of the time, he's abused it heavily.

The second chance Vlad has been given here means he has the ability to provide a safe, healthy environment. It's more than he deserves. He failed with Danny and he absolutely failed with Dani (another can of worms in itself; she's not mentioned in the comic, and I imagine it's because her story would need a comic of her own), he cannot fail with this Danny.

Vlad shouldn't have been given a child at all until there was a guarantee that he could work through his bullshit, but Dark Danny is a special case. He is a kid who needs a home and someone to love him unconditionally, and Vlad needs to learn boundaries while giving selfless love in order to be loved himself.

Clockwork gave Vlad a test, so get studying, dude.

This does not erase how Danny Prime feels about him. He may never want to forgive Vlad, and that's his right. He can acknowledge however, that, in order to help those in need of healing, a door can be opened, even if slightly ajar.

For Vlad, that may just take a bit longer and that's completely understandable.

Vlad can't have the kind of relationship he wants with this Danny, but maybe one day, they can be equals - friends.

Like christ, I think this is the first time Vlad has actually, genuinely asked if Danny was alright.

The comic was already good prior to this, but just knowing - understanding that Vlad was more than "a villain" - meant after fifteen looooong years, we finally see the promises of a brighter future for a man with shitty priorities, but a sympathetic goal.

"It's over, isn't it? It's over, isn't it? It's over, isn't it..."

[writeouswriter]

The curse has lifted (finally wrote more than like 10 words on something)

[mashmouths]

post limit was created to silence women

[hephaestuscrew]

The role of Pryce and Carter's Deep Space Survival Procedure Protocol Manual in the characterisation, symbolism, and themes of Wolf 359

TL;DR: The DSSPPM is used as a tool to help establish and develop Minkowski and Eiffel as characters: Minkowski as a strict Commander who clings to the certainty provided by a rigid source of authority like the DSSPPM, and Eiffel as the anti-authority slacker who strongly objects to the idea that he ought to read the manual. The way their contrasting attitudes towards the DSSPPM manifest through the show reflect their character development and changing dynamic. The DSSPPM can be directly used against the protagonists by those with power over them, and the reveal of its authorship gives a particularly sinister edge to its regular presence in the show. But it can be also be repurposed and seen through an individual interpersonal lens.

Note: There’s plenty that you could say about the DSSPPM through the lens of what it says about Goddard Futuristics as an organisation, or about Pryce and Cutter as people. Or you could talk about Lambert quoting the DSSPPM an absurd number of times in Change of Mind, and Lovelace’s reactions to this. But in this essay, I’ll be analysing on mentions of the DSSPPM with a focus on Minkowski, Eiffel, and their dynamic.

“One of those mandatory mission training things”: the DSSPPM as a tool to establish characterisation

The first mention of Pryce and Carter's Deep Space Survival Procedure Protocol Manual (the DSSPPM) in Wolf 359 is also the very first interaction we hear Eiffel and Minkowski have. In fact, the first time we hear Minkowski's voice at all is her telling Eiffel off for not having read the manual:

[Ep1 Succulent Rat-Killing Tar] MINKOWSKI Eiffel, did you read your copy of Pryce and Carter?  EIFFEL My copy of what?  MINKOWSKI Pryce and Carter's Deep Space Survival Procedure Protocol Manual.  EIFFEL Was that one of those mandatory mission training things?  MINKOWSKI Yes.  EIFFEL In that case, yes, I definitely did.  MINKOWSKI Did you now? Because I happened to find your copy of the D.S.S.P.P.M. floating in the observation deck.  EIFFEL Oh?  MINKOWSKI Still in its plastic wrapping.

This is an effective way to establish their conflicting personalities right out of the gate. Minkowski's determination to "do things by the book - this book in fact" contrasts clearly with Eiffel's professed ignorance about and clear disregard for "this... Jimmy Carter thing”. Purely through their attitudes to this one book, they slot easily into clear archetypes which inevitably clash. Everything about Eiffel in that opening episode sets him up as a slacker who doesn't care about authority, but the image of his mandatory mission training manual floating in the observation deck "still in its plastic wrapping" provides a particularly striking illustration.

By contrast, we immediately encounter Minkowski as a strict leader who cares deeply about making sure everything is done according to protocol; the intense importance she places on the DSSPPM is one of the very first things we know about her. Her insistence on the importance of the survival manual might seem somewhat understandable at first, if perhaps unhelpfully aggressive, but it starts to feel less sensible as soon as we start to hear some of the tips from this manual:

Deep Space Survival Tip Number Five: Remain positive at all times. Maintain a cheerful attitude even in the face of adversity. Remember: when you are smiling the whole world smiles with you, but when you're crying you're in violation of fleet-wide morale codes and should report to your superior officer for disciplinary action.

The strange, controlling, vaguely sinister tone of some of the tips we hear in the first episode is largely played for laughs, emphasised by the exaggeratedly upbeat manner in which Hera reads them. But even these first few tips give us some initial suggestions that the powers behind this mission might not care all that much about the wellbeing of their crew members.

It says something about Minkowski that she places such faith and importance in a book which says things like "Failing to remain calm, could result in your grisly, gruesome death" and "when you're crying you're in violation of fleet-wide morale codes and should report to your superior officer for disciplinary action." (Foreshadowing the Hephaestus Station as the home of immense emotional repression and compartmentalising...) Having those kind of pressures and demands placed on her (and those around her) by people above her in the military hierarchy doesn’t unsettle Minkowski.

Eiffel groans and sighs as he listens to the tips, but Minkowski seems to see this manual as an essential source of wisdom. The main role the manual plays in this episode is to establish Minkowski and Eiffel as contrasting characters with very different approaches to authority and therefore a potential to clash.

When Minkowski demands that Eiffel reads the DSSPPM, he decides to get Hera to read it to him, asking her to keep this as “a 'just the two of us, totally secret, never tell Commander Minkowski' thing”. Eiffel seems convinced that Minkowski won't be happy with him listening to Hera read the DSSPPM rather than reading it himself. This suggests that (at least in Eiffel's interpretation) Minkowski’s orders are not just about her wanting him to know the contents of the manual, since this could theoretically be accomplished just as well by him listening to it. But she wants him to do things in what she’s deemed to be the correct way, to put in the right amount of effort, and not to take what she might see as a shortcut. It’s not just about the contents of the manual; it’s about the commitment to protocol that reading it represents.

“When in doubt: whip it out”: Hilbert’s use of the DSSPPM

In Season 1, the DSSPPM isn't purely associated with Minkowski. Hilbert actually quotes it more than she does in the first few episodes. In Ep2 Little Revolución, Hilbert's response to Eiffel's toothpaste protest is inspired by "Pryce and Carter six fourteen: “When in doubt, whip it out - ‘it’ being hydrochloric acid.”" This tip is absurd in a more direct obvious way than those we heard in Ep1. While this absurdity is partly for humour, it also casts further doubt on the usefulness of this supposedly authoritative survival manual, and therefore on the wisdom of trusting Command.

In Ep4 Cataracts and Hurricanoes, Hilbert starts to quote Tip #4 at Eiffel, who protests "I'm not gonna have one of the last things I hear be some crap from the survival manual". These moments again place Eiffel in clear opposition to the DSSPPM, but also suggest that Hilbert's attitude towards the DSSPPM - and therefore towards Command - is closer to Minkowski's than to Eiffel's.

When Hilbert turns on the Hephaestus crew in his Christmas mutiny, his allegiance to Command is revealed as dangerous. And here the DSSPPM comes up again. As Minkowski dissolves the door between her and Hilbert, she triumphantly echoes his own words back to him: "Pryce and Carter six fourteen: “When in doubt, whip it out - ‘it’ being hydrochloric acid.” Never. Fails." This provides a callback to a previous, more comedic conflict on the Hephaestus, and reminds the listener of a time when Minkowski and Hilbert were working together against Eiffel, in contrast to the current situation of Minkowski and Eiffel versus Hilbert. But it also shows that Minkowski, like Hilbert, is capable of using some of the more absurd DSSPPM tips to defeat an adversary. And it shows Minkowski leaning on those tips in a real moment of crisis.

Once Hilbert has betrayed the crew in order to follow orders from Command, we might look back on his quoting of the DSSPPM as casting the manual in a more sinister light, and again calling into question the wisdom of Minkowski placing such trust in it.

“It's not that I don't believe it, I'm just disgusted by it”: the DSSPPM as an indicator of a changing dynamic

The next mention of the DSSPPM is in Ep17 Bach to the Future:

MINKOWSKI Eiffel's been spot-testing me, Hera. He doesn't believe that I've memorized all of the survival tips in Pryce and Carter. EIFFEL It's not that I don't believe it, I'm just disgusted by it. I keep hoping to discover it's not true. MINKOWSKI Well, believe as little as you want, doesn't change the fact that I do know them. And so should you!

I think this provides an interesting illustration of the way in which Minkowski and Eiffel’s dynamic has developed since Ep1. They still have deeply contrasting attitudes to the DSSPPM, but this contrast is now a source of entertainment between them, rather than merely of conflict.

Given that Hera wasn’t aware of Eiffel testing Minkowski on the tips, we can guess that it’s a game they came up with while Hera was offline. In the midst of all the exhaustion and uncertainty and fear they were dealing with after Hilbert’s mutiny, this was a way they found to pass the time. It must have been Eiffel who suggested it; Minkowski cites his disbelief as the reason for the spot-testing. And yet she plays along, responding each time, even though this activity has no real productive value.

Minkowski is keen to demonstrate that she does know the tips and she emphasises that Eiffel ought to know them too, but their interactions about the DSSPPM in this episode have none of the genuine irritation and frustration that they displayed in Ep1. It feels almost playful and teasing. Eiffel still thinks Minkowski is "completely insane" for learning all the tips and is "disgusted" by her commitment to memorising them, but these comments feel much closer to joking about a friend's weird traits than to insulting a hated coworker's personality. It feels like something has shifted since Eiffel responded to Minkowski’s passion for the DSSPPM by saying “I'm so glad that your shrivelled husk of a dictator's heart is as warm as a decompression chamber”.

Another thing to note here is that Minkowski's respect for the DSSPPM has clearly survived Hilbert's Christmas mutiny and Minkowski's resulting distrust of Command. From Hilbert's behaviour at Christmas, it's clear that the crew's survival is not at the top of Command's priority list. But Minkowski still trusts the book that Command told her to read. She still thinks Eiffel should read it too. The main figures of authority above her are dangerous and untrustworthy, but she still clings to the source of guidance they provided her with.

It's also worth noting that Minkowski has not just learnt the advice in each of the 1001 tips, but she has memorised (nearly) all of them by number. If it was just about the information that the manual provides to inform responses to potentially life-or-death situations, then knowing the numbers wouldn't be necessary. Nor would it be particularly useful to know them all exactly word-for-word. Minkowski's reliance on the DSSPPM is again suggested to be about more than the potential practical use of its content. It's about showing that she is committed and disciplined and up to the task of leading. She does have some awareness of the strangeness of many of the tips, but this doesn't diminish the value of her adherence to the manual for her:

EIFFEL You're insane.  MINKOWSKI I'm disciplined. Although I will admit they do get more... esoteric as you go higher up the list.

There's only one tip Minkowski doesn't seem to remember, and that's revealing too:

EIFFEL 555? Minkowski DRAWS BREATH - and STOPS SHORT. [...] MINKOWSKI Hold on a second, I know this. (beat) Dammit. EIFFEL Hey, look at that! Looks like there may be hope for you yet. MINKOWSKI Quiet, Eiffel. Hera, what's D.S.S.P.P.M. 555? HERA "Good communication habits are key to continued subsistence. Be in touch with other crew members about shipboard activities. Interfacing about possible problems or dangers is the best way to anticipate and prevent them." This hangs in the air for a second. Then – EIFFEL So you forget the one tip in the entire manual that's actually helpful? MINKOWSKI Shut up.

Communication is a key theme of this show, so it’s interesting that this is the one tip Minkowski can’t remember, perhaps indicating an aspect of leadership and teamwork that she doesn’t always prioritise or find easy.

Eiffel saying “Looks like there may be hope for you yet” seems like just a throwaway teasing line, but it’s got a profound edge to it. A lot of Minkowski’s arc is about learning how to provide her own direction and support her crew outside of the systems of authority and hierarchy that she’s grown so attached to. So perhaps Eiffel is right to see a kind of hope in her failure to remember every single DSSPPM tip – she has the potential to break free of her reliance on external authority.

“Which one was 897, what was the exact phrasing of that Deep Space Survival Tip?”: the DSSPPM in interactions with Cutter

The Wolf 359 liveshow, Deep Space Survival Procedure and Protocol, is literally named after the manual. This suggests, before we’ve even heard/watched the episode, that the DSSPPM will be a key symbol here. Which is interesting because I'd say the liveshow has two main plot points: (a) Eiffel's failure to read the DSSPPM or follow orders in general, the resulting disruption to the mission, and his crewmates' frustration with this; and (b) the looming threat of Cutter, the necessity of keeping information from Command, and the risk of fatal mission termination.

Even without the knowledge that Cutter is one of the co-authors of the DSSPPM (which neither the Hephaestus crew nor a first-time listener knows at this point), there's a kind of irony in the contrast between these two plotlines. On the one hand, Minkowski repeatedly berates Eiffel for not having read Pryce and Carter's Deep Space Survival Procedure and Protocol Manual, which was made mandatory by Command. On the other hand, she is aware that Command in general - and Cutter specifically - represents the biggest threat to the safety and survival of her crew.

Cutter uses the DSSPPM against each of the Hephaestus crew in their one-on-one conversations with him. For Minkowski, he uses it as a way of emphasising the expectations and responsibility placed on her:

MINKOWSKI There are always gaps between expectation and reality, but-- CUTTER But it's our job as leaders to close that gap, isn't it? Pryce and Carter...? MINKOWSKI 414, yes. Yes, sir, I know.

Cutter knows that Minkowski will know those tips and he knows abiding by them is important to her. She's quick to demonstrate her knowledge of the DSSPPM and agree with the tip. There's something deeply sinister to me about Cutter's use of the word 'our' here. His phrasing includes them both as leaders who should be ensuring that things are exactly as expected. It’s almost a kind of flattery at her authority, but it comes with impossibly high expectations. This way of emphasising the importance and responsibilities of her role as Commander is a targeted strategy by Cutter at manipulating Minkowski, designed to appeal to her values.

In Hera's one-on-one, Cutter uses a DSSPPM tip to interpret her behaviour and claim that he can read her motives:

CUTTER This thing you're doing. Asking questions while you get your bearings. HERA Sir, I'm just curious about-- CUTTER Pryce and Carter 588: Shows of courtesy and polite queries are an efficient way to gain time necessary to strategize.

Unlike with Minkowski (or Eiffel), Cutter doesn't prompt Hera to demonstrate her knowledge of the manual. That wouldn't work as a power play against Hera, who would be able to recall the manual (or, rather, retrieve the file, however that distinction works within her memory) but who doesn't care about the DSSPPM like Minkowski does. Instead, Cutter implies that Hera’s behaviour can be predicted - or at the very least seen through - by the DSSPPM, which seems like a cruel attempt by Cutter at belittling her.

For Eiffel, Cutter uses the manual as a weapon in a different way again. He asks Eiffel, "which one was 897, what was the exact phrasing of that Deep Space Survival Tip?", something which Eiffel clearly doesn't know, but Cutter of course does. This puts Eiffel on the back foot, trying to defend and justify himself, allowing Cutter to emphasise his position of power yet again.

The DSSPPM plays a double role in the liveshow. On the one hand, as Minkowski reminds Eiffel, proper knowledge of the manual "would've saved [the crew] from these problems with the nav computer" – some of the tips can potentially save the crew a great deal of hassle, stress, and risk. On the other hand, the same manual is used by Cutter to manipulate, unsettle, and intimidate the crew. There are these two sides to the information given to the crew by Command - two sides to the manual which Minkowski still values.

In another duality for the DSSPM, the manual is sometimes used as a symbol of the relationship between the crew members and Command, and sometimes used to indicate the dynamics between the individual crew members, usually Minkowski and Eiffel. Before Cutter’s appearance in the liveshow, Minkowski and Eiffel’s discussions of the DSSPPM reflect interpersonal disagreements between two people with fundamentally different attitudes:

MINKOWSKI Oh come on, why do you think I keep trying to get you to go over these things? Do you think I enjoy going through them? EIFFEL Yes. MINKOWSKI Well, alright, I do. But this knowledge could save your life.

Minkowski enjoys rules, regulations, and certainty, for their own sake as much as for any practical usefulness. Eiffel very much does not. This is a simple clash of individuals, in which the link between the DSSPPM and Command is implicit. Minkowski doesn't seem to question the idea that the information in the DSSPPM is potentially life-saving, even though she knows Command don't care about their lives. But Cutter’s repeated references to the DSSPPM remind us who made that book a mandatory part of mission training – it certainly wasn’t Minkowski, even if she’s often the one attempting to enforce this rule.

At the end of the liveshow, in a desperate attempt to prevent mission termination, Eiffel promises Cutter that he will read the DSSPPM (the liveshow transcript notes that him saying this is "like pulling teeth"), an instance of the manual being used in negotiations between the Hephaestus crew and Command. All Minkowski’s orders weren’t enough to get Eiffel to read that book, but a genuine life-or-death threat might just about be enough. Perhaps it's ironic that Eiffel reads the survival manual out of a desire for survival, not because he thinks the contents of the book will help him survive, but because he’s grasping anything he can offer to buy the crew’s survival from those who created that same book.

In the final scene of the liveshow, Minkowski catches Eiffel reading the DSSPPM, and he fumbles to hide that he's been reading it, a humorous reversal of all the times that he's lied to her that he has read it. Perhaps admitting that he's reading it would be like letting Minkowski win. Minkowski seems to find both surprise and amusement in seeing Eiffel finally reading the manual, but she doesn't push him to admit it. There's some slightly smug but still friendly teasing in the way Minkowski says "were you now?" when Eiffel says that he was just reading something useful. In that final scene, the manual is viewed again through the lens of Minkowski and Eiffel’s dynamic – Command’s relation to the DSSPPM becomes secondary.

“The first thing I'd make damn sure was hard wired into anything that might end up in a situation like this one”: the DSSPPM as a tool of survival

In Ep30 Mayday, when Eiffel is stranded alone on Lovelace’s shuttle, he hallucinates Minkowski to bring him out of his helpless panic and force him into action. And this hallucination also brings with it one of Minkowski’s interests:

MINKOWSKI Eiffel... I worked on this shuttle. Reprogramming that console. EIFFEL So? How does that help – MINKOWSKI Think about it. BEAT. And then he gets it. EIFFEL Oh goddammit. MINKOWSKI What's the first thing that I would do when programming a flight computer? The first thing I'd make damn sure was hard wired into anything that might end up in a situation like this one? EIFFEL Pyrce and Carter's Deep Space Survival Procedure and Protocol Manual.

Again, a conversation about the DSSPPM gives us an indication of the development of Minkowski and Eiffel’s relationship. Not only does Eiffel imagine Minkowski as a figure of (fairly aggressive) support when he’s stranded and alone, he thinks about what advice she’d give him and he follows it. Rather than dismissing the manual entirely, he looks for tips that are relevant to his situation. He’s not pleased about his hallucinated-Minkowski trying to get him to read the DSSPPM, but that was what his mind gave him in an almost hopeless situation. Some part of him now empathises with Minkowski’s priorities in a way that he definitely wasn’t doing in Ep1. He thinks that the DSSPPM might be on the shuttle because he knows the manual is important to Minkowski. It’s by imagining Minkowski that he gets himself to read the manual in order to see if it can help him survive – he certainly doesn’t think about what Cutter or anyone else from Command would tell him to do.

In the end, the tips Eiffel picks out aren’t all that helpful or informative: “Confront reality head-on”; “In an emergency, take stock of the tools at your disposal. Then take stock again. Restock. Repurpose. Reuse. Recycle."; and “"In times of trouble, an idle mind is your worst enemy”. But Eiffel does use these tips to structure his initial thinking about how to survive on Lovelace’s shuttle. In an almost entirely hopeless situation, Eiffel finds some value in the DSSPPM. But since the tips he picks out are mostly platitudes, the actual wisdom that allows him to survive all comes from his own mind; the tips, like his hallucinations, are just a tool he uses to externalise his process of figuring out what to do.

“Wasn't there something about this in the survival manual?”: Minkowski potentially moving away from the DSSPPM

Given the significance of the DSSPPM in Season 1 and 2 to Minkowski in particular, it feels notable when the manual isn’t referenced. Unless I've missed something (and please let me know if I have), Minkowski – the real one, not Eiffel’s hallucination - doesn't bring up the manual of her own accord at all in Seasons 3 or 4. This might make us wonder if she’s moved away from her trust in and reliance on that book provided by Command.

Perhaps the arrival of the SI-5, which highlights to Minkowski that the chain of command is not a good indicator of trustworthy authority, was the final straw. Or perhaps the apparent loss of Eiffel - and any subsequent questioning of her leadership approach, or realisations about the valuable perspective Eiffel provided - were what finally broke down her faith in that book.

Alternatively, perhaps Minkowski still trusts the DSSPPM as much as ever, but trying to get Eiffel or any of the other crew members to listen to it is a losing battle that she no longer sees as a priority. Either way, Minkowski’s apparent reluctance to bring up the DSSPPM feels like a shift in her approach. 

The associations between Minkowski and the DSSPPM are still there in Season 3, but they are raised by other characters, not by Minkowski herself. The manual is used to emphasise Eiffel’s difficulties when he’s put in charge of trying to get Maxwell and Hera to fill out a survey in Ep32 Controlled Demolition. Trying to force other people to be productive pushes Eiffel into some very uncharacteristic behaviour:

EIFFEL Jesus Christ, what is wrong with you? It's like you've never even read Pryce and Carter! Tip #490 very clearly states that – He trails off. After a BEAT – HERA Officer Eiffel? MAXWELL You, uh, all right there? EIFFEL (the horror) What have I become? [...] Eiffel, now wrapped up in a blanket, is next to Lovelace. He is still very clearly shaken. EIFFEL ... and... it was like an episode of the Twilight Zone. I was slowly transforming into Commander Minkowski. [...] It was a nightmare! A terrifying, bureaucratic nightmare!

This is a funny role reversal, but it shows us the strength of Eiffel’s association between Minkowski and the DSSPPM, as well his extreme aversion to finding himself in a strict bureaucratic leadership position. It also suggests that becoming extremely frustrated when trying to get other people to do what you want might make anyone resort to relying on an external source of authority, such as the manual. I don’t know whether this experience helps Eiffel empathise with Minkowski, but perhaps it might give us some insight into how her need for authority and control in the leadership role she occupied might have reinforced her deference to the DSSPPM.

In Ep34, we get a suggestion of another character having a strong association between the DSSPPM and Minkowski. After the discovery of Funzo, Hera asks Minkowski what the manual says about it:

HERA Umm... I don't know if this is a good idea. Lieutenant, wasn't there something about this in the survival manual? MINKOWSKI Pryce and Carter 792: Of all the dangers that you will face in the void of space, nothing compares to the existential terror that is Funzo.

It’s interesting to me that Hera asks Minkowski here. We know from Ep1 that “Pryce and Carter's Deep Space Survival Procedure Protocol Manual is among the files [Hera has] access to”. Two possible reasons occur to me for why Hera might ask Minkowski about the DSSPPM tip here. One possibility is that Hera thinks that retrieving the manual from her databanks and finding the correct tip would take her more time than it would take for Minkowski to just remember the tip. Which suggests interesting things about the nature of Hera’s memory, but also implies that - at least in Hera's view -Minkowski’s knowledge of the DSSPPM is more reliable than that of a supercomputer.

The other possibility is that Hera could have recalled the relevant DSSPPM tip incredibly quickly but she doesn’t want to, maybe because she resents having that manual in her head in the first place, or maybe because she wants to show respect for Minkowski’s knowledge as a Commander. Either way, we can see that Hera – like Eiffel – strongly associates Minkowski with the DSSPPM.

And Minkowski, even if she wasn’t the one to bring up the manual here, recalls the relevant tip immediately. Perhaps she is moving away from her trust in that manual, but everything that she learned as part of her old deference to the authority of Command is still there in her head. She might want to forget it by the end of the mission, but that’s not easily achieved. The way Minkowski’s friends/crewmates associate the manual with her emphasises the difficulty she’ll face if she tries to move away from it.

“One thousand and one pains in my ass”: The authorship of the DSSPPM

In Ep55 A Place for Everything, Eiffel effectively expresses his long-held dislike of the DSSPPM when he comes face-to-face with both of its authors:

EIFFEL What? What the hell are - wait a minute - Pryce? As in one thousand and one pains in my ass, Pryce? (sudden realization) Which... makes you...? MR. CUTTER (holding out his hand) W.S. Carter, pleased to meet you. 

It’s significant that the two ‘big bads’ of the whole series are the authors of the manual which Minkowski and Eiffel were bickering about all the way back in Ep1. It’s not the only way in which the message of this show positions itself firmly against just accepting externally imposed authority and hierarchy without question or evidence, but it does reinforce this ethos.

By being the authors of the manual, Cutter and Pryce have had a sinister hidden presence throughout the show. Long before we know who Pryce is and even before we hear Cutter’s name, their manual is there, occupying a prominent place in Minkowski’s motivations and priorities, and in her arguments with Eiffel. It’s not at all comparable to what Pryce put in Hera’s mind, but it is another way in which these antagonists have wormed their way into the heads of our protagonists.

Minkowski will have to come to terms with the fact that the 1001 tips she spent hours memorising and reciting were written by two people who would have killed her, her crew, and even the whole human race without hesitation if it served their purposes. We never get to hear Minkowski’s reaction to learning the identities of Pryce and Carter, but I think processing the role of their manual in her life will be a long and difficult road that’ll tie into a lot of other emotional processing she needs to do. Her assertion to Cutter that, without him, she is “Renée Minkowski... and that is more than enough to kick your ass!” feels like part of that journey. She doesn’t mention the DSSPPM at all in Season 4. She’s growing beyond it.

"Doug Eiffel's Deep Space Survival Guide": The DSSPPM as a weapon against those who wrote it

Last but not least, I couldn’t write about Eiffel and the DSSPPM without mentioning this scene from  Ep58 Quiet, Please:

EIFFEL As someone once told me: "Pryce and Carter 754: In an emergency, take stock of the tools at your disposal, then take stock again. Repurpose, reuse, recycle." And right now? You know what I got? I got this lighter from when Cutter was using me as his personal cabana boy. [...] and I've got myself this big, fat copy of the Deep Space Survival Manual, and you know what I'm gonna do with it? [...] Eiffel STRIKES THE LIGHTER. And LIGHTS THE BOOK ON FIRE, revealing Pryce just a few feet away from him! EIFFEL I am going to repurpose it... and reuse it... and recycle it into a GIANT FIREBALL OF DEATH! And he swings the flaming book forward, HITTING PRYCE ON THE SIDE OF THE HEAD. [...] EIFFEL That's right! Doug Eiffel's Deep Space Survival Guide, B-

No one other than Doug Eiffel could pull off the chaotic energy of this moment. It doesn’t get much more anti-authority than lighting the mandatory mission manual on fire and using it as a weapon against one of its malevolent authors. It might not be the wisest move safety-wise, and it certainly doesn’t improve the situation when the node gets jettisoned into space. But there is still a powerful symbolism in taking a symbol of the hierarchical forces that have tried to constrain you for years and setting it alight to fight back against those forces. Eiffel takes his own approach to survival and puts his own name into the title, an assertion of his agency and rejection of Command's authority.

The DSSPPM tip that he uses here is one of those he considers when stranded on Lovelace’s shuttle. It’s understandable that after that experience it might have stuck in his memory.

I can’t help feeling that the line “as someone once told me” has a double meaning here. The immediate implication is to interpret “someone” as being Pryce and Cutter – it’s their manual after all – which makes this line a fairly effective ‘fuck you’ gesture, emphasising how Eiffel is using Pryce’s manual against her in both an abstract and a physical sense.

But I think “someone” could also mean Minkowski. Eiffel uses a singular rather than plural term, there’s already an association established between Minkowski and the DSSPPM, and, in Mayday, it’s his hallucination of Minkowski that gets him to read this tip. She's probably also recited this tip to him at other points as well. Under this interpretation, this line is as much a gesture of solidarity with Minkowski as it is a taunt to Pryce. I like the idea that these two interpretations can run alongside each other, reflecting the duality of the use of the DSSPPM that I talked about in relation to the liveshow.

Conclusion

The DSSPPM is a symbol of external rules imposed on people by those with power over them. These rules can be strange, arbitrary, and even sinister, but for those with a desire for certainty and control, like Minkowski, they can be tempting. And they can have their uses, as well as the potential to be repurposed. Attitudes towards these rules provide an effective shorthand as part of Minkowski and Eiffel’s characterisation. And the clash between these attitudes, and how that clash manifests, can tell us something about how the dynamic between those characters develops and changes.

[ditzyredrobin]

With This Breath (I Promise to Protect You)

Or what I wrote instead of finishing my first chapter of Shrike. Chapter one is tentatively coming out on Saturday. I’m still tweaking a few things to help the flow.

This is part of my Bad Things Happen bingo card so expect more whump yet. 😅

Prompt: Hurts to Breathe

-

“Easy, it’s just me.”

Tim looked up from the mound of crumbled man in front of him, bo staff outreached in a protective stance, ready to go again, if needed. Dick’s brow was furrowed, palms outstretched in a universal “I-come-in-peace” sign, as he slowly took a step towards them. “I’m not going to hurt him, I promise, I just need to go trust me, okay?”

Tim tensed.

It was Dick, he reminded himself.

Logically, he knew Dick wouldn’t hurt him, he was safe, he had protected them both before, but he couldn’t stop his body’s reaction. Jason was laid out on the ground behind him, unmoving aside from the rise and fall of his chest (last time he’d checked at least) and vulnerable. There was a dent in his helmet near his temple where he’d been hit. Hard.

Tim’s chest ached with each uneven breaths. Truthfully, he felt like a wrong gust of wind was enough to knock him down at this point but he would protect Jason, or go down trying. He had to protect him. He had promised months ago when they had first gotten together that what had happened to Jason as Robin would never happen again.

Until his last breath, he would keep both Dick and Jason safe, come Hell or high water, damn it.

So, why was he braced to fight Dick? He didn’t have an answer.

Dick froze, “I know you’re worried about him, I am, too. I won’t hurt either of you, I just want to help.”

He sounded earnest but Tim couldn’t stop himself—Tim bared his teeth at Dick in a snarl. If he had to fight Dick, he would. He wasn’t going to let anyone hurt Jason.

Not again.

The shadows rippled behind Nightwing as Batman and Robin entered the scene—Dick a few feet from them and Tim blocking Jason’s body with his own.

Everything ached from head to toe and his vision had begun to blur. He leaned heavily on his staff, leaving him open for attack, but if it meant keeping Jason safe, he would.

Nightwing held up his hand, stopping Batman and Robin from getting too close. Surprisingly, Batman stopped, holding Robin back with him.

“Nightwing, report.” The voice of the Dark Knight jostled Tim’s brain back into reality just a little bit.

“I’m not sure what happened, I heard Hood call for back up over the comms, and when I got here, he was down and Red was like this.” Dick gestured to the duo.

What Tim wouldn’t do to sit down right now. He was beginning to feel lightheaded and airy. He shivered as the cold night began to settle in his bones.

Batman grunted and Tim could feel his icy blue eyes examining the situation through his white outs.

Tt came from Robin’s mouth, “Get over yourself, Drake, and stop being so dramatic. We simply want to help.”

Oh, he knew that voice.

The one that had cut his line, who had attempted to murder him on no less than two occasions. Tim grit his teeth and stood up straight, the effort left him panting. He wouldn’t let him touch Jason.

Now it was go time.

“Robin, enough.”

Even if it wasn’t directed at him, the command sent a shiver down Tim’s spine. Some of the tension eased from his body. He wasn’t Robin anymore but his body acted like it was for him on reflex, like he was still Robin. Like the command was for him.

“But father-“

“Enough.”

“Tt.”

Dick and Batman shared a look, both seeming to have noticed him almost drop his guard.

“Red Robin, report.”

Tim shivered again. That voice was engrained on his brain as the one that would always keep him safe, Tim was his Robin, his son.

“Robin, report.” Batman called again when his first command had gone unanswered. “Now.”

Okay, he could do this. Batman was here.

He could do this.

“I was helping Hood take down a trafficking ring when we were ambushed. Hood took a blow to the head with a bat and has been down for 4 minutes.” Tim said automatically, as if under a trance.

Batman grunted, seemingly satisfied with his answer. “What is the state of your injuries?” Because it was obvious he was injured, wasn’t it? You can’t hide much from Batman.

“I took a blow to the ribs and hip. Two possibly broken ribs and my left ankle is sprained.”

Batman made it that easy. If Batman asked a question, Tim would give it to him. There was no going against Batman.

Batman grunted in response, not taking his eyes off of Tim and Jason. “You’ve done a good job tonight, it’s time to go home. Can you make it to the Batmobile on your own or do you need help?”

Tim frowned like that was actually a question but he couldn’t leave right now because his home wasn’t with the Bat’s. His home was the theater and Jason was right here, hurt and vulnerable laid out on the pavement behind him. He couldn’t leave him alone now—he was hurt.

But oh, god, did he want to sit down.

Tim felt his knees wobble at the thought and grit his teeth.

No, he had to be strong. He is strong, he can sit down when the case is closed and everyone of his family members is safe. Until then, he would push. He would push, and go, and hold on until he finally had the time to fall apart and it took a hell of a lot more than a bat to keep him down (Heh, a Bat).

He must have spaced out again because suddenly Batman has taken several steps closer to him and says, “Robin, are you listening? It’s time to go home.”

“But Jason-“

“Is going home, too.” Batman says firmly, taking a step towards him. “Now, let go. Let us help you both.”

Tim bit his lip.

“Robin, now.”

And that was the end of that. He couldn’t disobey a direct command by Batman of all people—of Bruce.

Tim’s knees finally did give in, collapsing under him which apparently meant go time because suddenly he wasn’t on the ground. He was being held up by Dick’s arms, just suddenly there, and Batman was down beside Hood while Robin zip tied the last baddie of the night.

“Gotcha ya.” Dick said softly, pulling him close to his chest. “We’ve got you, Baby Bird.”

[wayfayrr]

This fic was originally inspired by the song Kerosene by tart, as it fits got the strong vibe of a yandere needing more in my opinion and I would recommend listening to it while reading <3 but eventually it spiralled into a full on self-aware sky x reader

And with that tone, they ask me 'If I'm ready…'  

Impatiently asking me to throw away my entire life for them, to cast aside everything I've ever known for the chance, the meagre chance, to stay in Hyrule. To join their duet of death, a fight that seems never-ending.

With only Sky offering me an alternate way, offering instead something more valuable than his own life to me. The offer to follow me, of his own regard instead of a twisted love demanding it of me. 

Yet, still sitting here with Sky has its own charm to it. I don't feel pressured to talk or do anything unlike how it can get with the others at times.

"You know my dove, with a touch of your life I was filled with envy… The fact that I haven't been able to live with you, know you longer than I have. I scare myself sometimes."

His chuckle wasn't as reassuring as he would thought it should be if he were trying to be reassuring to me. He could just be nervous after what he simply just admitted to. I know I would be.

"How would you scare yourself with that Sky..?"

"..."

"... I don't - It's just - I… Sometimes I uh- have thoughts. This really isn't easy to say."

Why is he looking at me like I should already know what he’s talking about like he’s going on about an inside joke? 

“It was a catastrophe, as a result of your sanguine vanity. Your confidence that everything was just a game, when you really knew better didn’t you?”

“...Knew better? What do you mean?”

“That I could see you… that from the moment outside the academy when I was told what buttons you would need to press to control me I started to connect everything, that I was alright with you being the one who had this ability to puppet me? You knew, didn’t you? You fell in love with me at the same time didn’t you?”

“Sky I - I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Is he - No he can’t be. He couldn’t have known he was in a game. He can’t have been in love with me since then… even if he did know… He should hate me. At best, this is some broken-down mechanical love, some remnant of stray code… Oh what am I doing lying to myself, nintendo made Link as a blank slate, there would never have been any failsafe like that. Because it shouldn’t be possible for him to become self-aware.

“When I first woke up that day it was like there was this other part of me, you it was you, but it didn’t take me long to realise that you weren’t a part of me. You were you and you could control my every single action.”

“My world at that point was a plaything for you but I wouldn’t have had it any other way.  I didn’t need to eat nor sleep when you were there for me, it was like I was complete. I was blinded by looking for Zelda for so long that I wasted the time I could’ve spent just basking in you.”

“I love you more than I need to breathe because you complete me… but you don’t feel the same.”

“Because I’m just a toy to you aren’t I? Be-because you left me. You just left, you left me behind and didn’t come back.”

Everything, he knows everything. Where do I start, how do I handle this? I can’t leave him spiralling like this, it’s not fair to him. Would he even believe what I’ll tell him? Do I want to tell him? 

“Sky I’m not going to lie to you. I did see you as just a game, I didn’t know that you were a person that you were alive. But I know better now. You’re not just a toy.”

“But I was just that to you…  you - you were just like a god that was sent from above to help me in my darkest moments. I didn’t- I mean I know, I shouldn’t have been able to have known any of that but I just - I don’t - I- I don-”

Tapering off into the most heartwrenching sobs after all of that isn’t something I could ever have imagined coming from the hero of the skies. I can’t comfort him. I’m not a monster.But I’m not a god either. Even if that’s what he saw me as, even though that’s what he wants me to be.  

“Sky I’m not a god. I never was, but I do care about you, I’ve said it before and seeing as you need to hear it now more than ever. I love you Sky. The you, I’ve gotten to know over this whole thing with the shadow.”

“But I - [Name] I just -”

“I know this is a lot to go through. It must’ve been absolute torture going through all of that. Can you breathe for me? I’m here to listen to you but I can’t if you’re too stressed to speak properly.”

“I - Thank you.”

The tears staining his face are starting to dry now, leaving streaks as proof of his own sadness, ones that have too much emotion behind to have been faked. All of this has to be true, there’s too much detail on things I’ve never mentioned to him for him to be lying to me based on one thing he’s heard about my own world. Which means he’s been aware of me for so much longer than he’s let on. That he might have known me for far longer than he’s let on. There’s no safe way to ask this now though so I’ll just have to hope he brings it up on his own. 

“I first figured out that I was this character after the dream I had about demise, after I woke up, when Horwell was talking to me about the lost remlit and how he told me to press z to target him, not even calling me by my name he called me Sky. But what made it even worse is I could remember fighting demise, making up with Groose and getting the triforce yet I was back to the start and being called something different.”

“That’s when you knew? Did you realise it was me immediately or did that take longer? You don’t have to answer of course, just talk about what you’re comfortable with Link.”

His breathing is slowly evening out now, clearly his earlier panic is starting to subside. Although now I don’t have my past option of being able to move away from him anymore, not with how he’s leaned all his weight against my side in, if he wasn’t so deeply upset about all of this, what I could call a desperate attempt to keep me by him. With all of this only seemingly proved more by how he’s tangling his fingers in mine to hold my hand tightly against his chest. 

“I first knew it was you when Zelda pushed me off that landing again. Your disgust at her doing that, at her not trusting me even though you already knew it was going to happen at that point. It wasn’t until I was first in the temple with Fi that I saw you properly though. I couldn’t even spare more than a second to bask in your beauty because, well I was scared that if I acted too differently from what you expected then you would just abandon me, but I wanted too more badly than anything. What I wouldn’t have given at that time to just have been able to spare more than a simple glance at you. Who I wouldn’t have killed to get the faintest chance to simply hold you.”

“...What was that last thing you said?”

“What do you mean my dove? The fact I would’ve given anything to spare a glance at you?”

“No that other thing you said.”

“That I couldn’t act differently out of fear that you would abandon me to a lifeless world where everyone was acting like soulless husks only repeating the same line over and over and over.”

“No that very- you know what, don't worry about it.”

The last remains of his tears finally fade away now as he nuzzles himself further into my shoulder and brings up our intertwined hands to kiss my own. Drawing out the moment as long as he can, fitting as he’s spent so long pining for this very touch. What’s going unsaid here is more than enough to be unsettling now, with how overbearing his feelings are getting and how desperate and cheery he’s sounding now. It’s a terrifying combination.

“I realised pretty quickly that it was your second playthrough. That I’d missed out on basking in you because I was too focused on saving Zelda,  but now I’m done with saving. I don’t want to go back to my own world, I don’t want to go back to her with how she’s always asking for more. I wish I could’ve just crawled through the screen and into your arms instead; burn away my past but I never could. I was stuck in that damned game, watching as you were so happy with me even though I wasn’t a person to you - just a toy. I could hear all the things you were saying from you complaining about your day, to how you kept calling me your precious baby girl.”

“Oh so… you heard everything… everything I was saying?”

“Everything. From the sweeter things like when you would apologize for me getting hurt even though I would never have held it against you, to how you thought I looked good in 'that green', how you'd let me do that to you as I finished off a skulltula, even how you thought ghirahim was fatherless. By far the best things to hear were you just talking about your own life, hearing you going on about your day made me feel more real than anything else did. I could imagine myself there with you, as a real part of your life.”

The chill down my spine at that admission didn’t go unnoticed by him as he coiled tighter into my side as if he was attempting for my touch to consume him fully. Like he’s gotten a taste of this touch and he’s wanting some more, like a hit of kerosene or something sweeter. 

"I don't want to go back to how it was before [name], I can't go back to Skyloft. I don't ever want to be pulled apart from you again, because when you finished the game? it felt like nothing was worth anything any more. I'm convinced I would have been better off dead than how I was without you."

He seemed not to be fond of my stunned silence, even still he respected it, letting me have precious moments to gather my thoughts. To say what? Where would I begin with handling this? I can’t question him, he’s so fragile right now and I’m too scared to break him. Maybe just…

“I’m sorry, Sky I’m so sorry. I’m sorry that I didn’t know earlier… that I couldn't help you through all of that, that I didn't treat you like an actual person. Is there any way I could possibly make it up to you?"

If that wasn't the best worst thing to say then, I don't know what I could have said instead. Luckily he seemed to like it if how he’s burning himself further into my side is anything to go off of, proven more by the contented hum he’s let out. 

“Please, just don’t leave me again - I- I won’t hold it against you if it's not your own choice, like how the shadow brought you here to me, but I never want to have to be apart from you again. I want to go back to your own world with you, a brand new life with you is all I need.”

“I promise link, I won’t leave you of my own choice from now.”

“If anything happens so that you get torn away from me - can you start a new save on your switch?”

“What..?”

What good could that be - what if it only made things worse? What if that got rid of his memories? No. [name] you have to trust him on this. He knows so much more about it, he’s the one who’s lived this. If that’s what he thinks the right option is. Then it’s the best option.

“If you make a new save then this time - this time I won’t have to be worried about you overreacting and deleting me - I don’t know if I’ll be able to talk to you -  There has to be some way I can get out of that game and into your arms again my dove. I just know it.”

[a-star-that-burns-brightly]

I can't believe Ivantill's fucking angsty-ass doomed yearning yaoi might be the thing that makes me share my fanfiction with the internet lmao

[thesilversun]

Fic idea - yes, yet another one

Another thing in the ‘I really don’t need any more fic idea’ category. 

But here we go anyway, divergent AU think from the Cailian Manor arc. 

The bodies in the lotus pond are not resting quietly, there are spirits in the water, and they are hungry. 

Di Feisheng finds this out when Fang Duobing pushes him into the water.  He gets out, but it’s a struggle due to the whole not being able to use his energy because of the Asura Grass.  

Things then happen as before.  

Li Lianhua in the wedding dress slips in to the lotus pond. Di Feisheng, knowing what is down there, doesn’t wait to see if he can get out by himself, but goes in to help him. The ghosts cheated of grabbing Di Feisheng the first time, turn their attention on him instead, not willing to let him go without a fight. Bony, claw-like fingers digging in as they try to drag him down.  

Li Lianhua tries to help, but is hampered by the heavy wedding dress – he would just about be able to swim out by himself, but not while trying to pull Di Feisheng free as well. 

Seeing what’s happening, Fang Duobing jumps in after them and together the three of them manage to get back to dry land.  

Li Lianhua is cold and exhausted from being underwater for so long. Di Feisheng isn’t a great deal better and has claw marks from the spirits on him. While Fang Duobing is more shaken up than hurt, he’s also trying not to let on how scared he was that he wouldn’t be able to get them out in time. 

A late night patching up session follows. With Li Lianhua trying not show how tired or weak he’s feeling – plus he’s worried that the poison might choose to flare up given how hard he’s had to push himself. Di Feisheng trying not let them see how much cleaning the cuts and scratches hurts – they have to be cleaned, because he’s still affected by the Asura grass so he can’t draw on his energy to either help dull the pain or to fend of infection from having water/mud with decaying corpses washed into them. That he’s exhausted from not sleeping properly is making it harder too.  

Fang Duobing is mostly fussing over Li Lianhua, trying to calm his own ragged nerves by making sure he’s going to be okay. When Li Lianhua firmly tells him that he can take the remaining clothes off by himself, he checks on Di Feisheng.  

Di Feisheng is wearing only trousers as he tries to treat his injuries alone. Fang Duobing decides he’s going to help him, as there is no way he can effectively deal with anything on his back by himself, and because he’d been hurt trying to help Li Lianhua.  

Fang Duobing is curious about why Di Feisheng has a lot of scars. Di Feisheng won’t explain anything to him – because some of the scars relate to Master Di and there is absolutely no way he’s sharing that information with anyone.  

Li Lianhua goes to find them, then takes over from Fang Duobing, sending him off to get something for the cuts. They talk about the scars left by their fight ten years before.  

Then they wrap up the case at Cailian Manor, and Li Lianhua digs up the (fake) body of Shan Gudao, but because of how he’s already exhausted from what happened in the lake, he collapses shortly afterwards, poison flaring up badly.  

Di Feisheng, also not feeling all that great, decides they are going to put Shan Gudao back in the herb coffin – being reburied beside Qi Mushan can wait – the coffin has preserved him for 10 years – what's a few more days?   

He’s going to bring forward his plan of dragging Li Lianhua off to see Yao Mo. Which is easier said than done, given that Li Lianhua is barely conscious and he’s feeling increasingly awful himself (open wounds in water which has decaying bodies in it is not good for you). 

Which means he doesn’t manage to ditch Fang Duobing and instead needs his assistance in getting Li Lianhua there. The three of them arrive at Yao Mo’s. Di Feisheng is only still on his feet out of sheer stubbornness, while Fang Duobing carries Li Lianhua, who’s drifting in and out of consciousness, and generally unnerving Fang Duobing as he keep asking him to bury him .  

Yao Mo is absolutely not impressed by the three of them arriving unannounced. Especially not as Di Feisheng orders him to help Li Lianhua and then promptless passes out. 

Yao Mo doesn’t know that Fang Duobing is unaware of the identities of A-Fei as Di Feisheng and Li Lianhua is  Li Xiangyi. He assumes that because he’s with them he must know – so reveals who they are. 

Although Yao Mo can’t cure Li Lianhua he can do enough to get him conscious again, and to clear Di Feisheng of the asura grass so he can start recovering. 

Di Feisheng had asked Wuyan to bring the coffin containing the (fake) Shan Gudao to Yao Mo’s they don’t want to lose it again.  

Yao Mo had been interested in what herbs have been used to preserve body so well for 10 years. He opens up the coffin, and realises that the body in it isn’t Shan Gudao, it’s fake. 

 Li Lianhua wakes up, still feeling awful, to Di Feisheng and Fang Duobing arguing loudly about who poisoned Li Xiangyi/Li Lianhua, who is going to save him and why the body of Shan Gudao is fake.  

He’d thought that he’d found him, that he’d be able to bury Shan Gudao beside Qi Mushan, and then he could be buried along side them. Now it’s all a mess again and he doesn’t know if he’s got the strength left to find out what happened.  

Tries to get out of bed and falls on the floor and doesn’t have the energy to get up. The thought that he will now never know what happened to Shan Gudao, that he can’t even give him proper burial, is too much and he starts to cry, grief and frustration at his own limitations, and that he feels like he’s let Fang Duobing down by failing to distance himself from him, too much for him to bear. 

Di Feisheng and Fang Duobing stop arguing when they realise, and go to help him.  Then Fang Duobing goes to get Yao Mo.  

While he’s gone Di Feisheng says he’s going to make Li Lianhua live, that he wants his fight with him. Li Lianhua refuses, then Di Feisheng tells him that Shan Gudao was Fang Duobing father rather than uncle.   

(Un)Fortunately (depending on your pov) Fang Duobing had just returned to tell them Yao Mo was getting something for Li Lianhua and has heard what Di Feisheng said about Shan Gudao.  

Li Lianhua tries to tell him he didn’t know, but Fang Duobing says he doesn’t know if he can trust anything that he say any more, then leaves to go and find out from his family if it is true.  

Di Feisheng has come to the conclusion that there has to be a traitor in Jinyuan Alliance – and perhaps in the Sigu Sect as well.  He tells Li Lianhua this, says that he doesn’t know who he can trust, apart from Wuyan and him.  Not even Yao Mo.  Tells Li Lianhua that now Fang Doubing knows that he’s Shan Gudao’s son, it might mean he’s in danger, from whoever had betrayed them both 10 years before.  

Di Feisheng tells him that they will work together to find out what happened, because he cannot let such betrayal within the Jinyuan Alliance remain hidden.  

Li Lianhua agrees, because how can die peacefully without answers or knowing that Shan Gudao’s son is safe.   

---  

Not 100% sure where it would go from there, but probably them trying to work out who was in the coffin as it isn’t Shan Gudao and probably Fang Duobing returning having verified what’s been said. He’s still hurt and annoyed by how everyone keep lying to him or dumping, but he determined to find out what is happening.  

[murdleandmarot]

@margo-mania ya boy razzle, and a special guest….

(Dude you ate when you created razzle’s backstory, actually insane, 10/10 in terms of themes and motifs and implications, so so good)

[bl-bracket]

Horny on Main Round 3: Lan Zhan (The Untamed) vs Wen Kexing (Word of Honor)

[Submitted Reasons Under Cut]

Lan Zhan: "Man realized sex with Wei Wuxian was an option and immediately thought of nothing else for over a decade, instituted an "every day means every day" policy the second he got his horny little hands on him"

Wen Kexing: "this man has a constant stream of consciousness centered entirely around his need to fuck zhou zishu and he will make it everyone’s problem. even when zhou zishu is dressed like a homeless man he’s still spouting poetry about his waist and flexibility and how pretty he is"